I’ve never written a question on this app before but this is eating at me. BUCKLE UP THIS IS LONG!
So my husband’s family have been abusive to him, he is the black sheep of his family he is the youngest and has a different father than his older siblings (8,6 years older).
Ever since I started dating him I was antagonized in some way. When I first met his family for Christmas his middle brother invited his ex-girlfriend to hang out, unbeknownst to my then bf which was awkward but she was fine with me. My boyfriend then was really sick and I took the train 2 hours to pick him up from his home (where his family was with their cars) and take him to a hospital in London. He was there for 6 days not one person visited him but me. They made fun of him and minimized his illness.
Then we moved to my home country the US and eloped. They came to visit a few years later his mom and eldest brother were okay. Middle brother again constantly throwing barbs and digs at me completely unprovoked. I get there may be a culture difference they are White English conservatives, I’m African American. Shortly after we married he dated a black girl, who left bc she was also treated poorly. Some examples of digs; I congratulated him on graduating and asked him when he finished he replied “same time you were supposed to” (I dropped out). Then I asked what the he loved most and what was challenging about being a PT and he replied “no offense, working with fat people.” Took them to multiple meals and covered everything which wasn’t cheap, he complained about the food being “reheated” and bitched when he was ID’d.
Things get progressively worse, middle brother has a precious baby. I want to spoil her and become close with the mother of the child (who is not with him due to his creepy behavior). We form a fast friendship and chat all the time about the baby. My brother in-law tortures this girl denies he is the dad but also goes out of his way to bully her (she’s not breast feeding right, she shouldn’t have pacifiers) all from the comfort of his home. He is also constantly complaining about having to pay $50 a week in child support nonstop saying he is going “bankrupt”. My hubby is part of a group chat and my mother-in-law talks ish about my friend and my hubby is telling me. I ask to see and his brother is actively trying to give his soon to be 1 year old daughter eggs and gluten that his ex told him she was allergic to and they are plotting to do this during her birthday and explicitly NOT tell my friend the mom of his baby. The reasoning was “I’m the father, I deserve to be respected, I can make choices to” but he is extremely sneaky. I show my friend/baby’s mom the messages and all hell breaks loose because of course he lies and gets caught. I would have told him off directly but he blocked me because he was mad at how close I was getting to his ex. I am called a “despicable woman” dragged in their chat, made to seem that I’m spying on my husband and accused of being jealous and sabotaging my niece’s birthday party. My husband says nothing in my defense just goes along like he didn’t send me the photos of their chat…
They don’t know I’m pregnant at this time and I chose not to tell any of my in-laws due to how awful they are. I also don’t believe in telling anyone that would wish ill on me and my baby (bad juju), but my bestie the baby mom knows. I give birth his mom has an absolute tantrum says incredibly awful things to my husband, reaches out to my mom to wish her congratulations on her grandchild and says “i guess I will learn to love him.”
Then my friend the mom gets diagnosed with cancer and wants to keep this secret and makes me promise, she kept my secret pregnancy it is the least I could do. She dies a few months later and my brother in law attacks her for not telling him and claims she is a horrible mother. He takes custody of his daughter.
Fast forward the eldest brother meets this hog woman. She is rotund and English, very ignorant and rude. The first interaction I had she thought she knew so much, decides to bash my dead friend’s parenting, call my dead father in law “weird”, tells me my niece eats everything now due to having a “good parent” and called my apt in NYC “embarrassing” bc it had scaffolding on google maps when she looked me up (like a creep). She then antagonizes me in a variety of slick ways including posting the eldest brother with my niece with the caption “uncle B’s favorite!” On my son’s birthday. Most recently I tell his family that we want to actually have a proper wedding and celebrate after 10 years of marriage, i give them 2 years notice. The hog says “ohhh me and the eldest are planning on getting married then.” I ask why she says “nice weather”. She then proceeds to have a fall wedding (orange, red, greens, pumpkins, barley, wheelbarrows etc.” in May. I try to be the bigger person and send a kind welcome and she leaves me on read.
I hate these people, I need to let this go. My husband says that we should just go on continuing our happy life and not “start problems”. But it feels like so much awfulness to have to swallow. I also feel like if/when I do speak up I’m the hysterical angry black woman and this hog is the “innocent”. The whole thing is so so frustrating but I need to let it go even though I want them to hurt emotionally as much as they have hurt us.
Any recommendations, would you want revenge? There is so much more but I have written a novel already. I feel alone like no one has my back or tries to understand my perspective. They are so sneaky and underhanded. I want to protect my family from these sick people. At the same time I want justice, justice for my husband, for my dead bestie, for me son and for me.

A DOCUMENTARY about a bizarre Texas competition to win a pickup truck has been given new life as a musical.
Directed by David Nelson and Jane Anderson, Hands on a Hardbody tells the story of an annual endurance contest where the last person standing with their hands on the vehicle wins it.
The musical is based on the documentary with each character getting a chance to share their story through song.
Filmmaker Quentin Tarantino refers to Hands on a Hardbody as one of his go-to movie recommendations.
“The documentary shows the people involved in the competition and explores what winning a car would mean to them,” Jane said.
“Most of the contestants were poor, out of work and struggling in some way.”
David said the main appeal of the musical was the fact it was inspired by true events.
“The show is based on real people and a real situation with themes that are relatable to everyone,” he said.
“The music used is country rock, which is both unusual and appealing for a musical.”
Both involved in theatre for more than 30 years, David and Jane have directed several musicals together including Kinky Boots, The Wedding Singer, The SpongeBob Musical and I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change.
Jane said Hands on a Hardbody appealed because she loved ensemble shows.
“It means all the cast get a chance to shine,” she said. “While each person comes to the competition with their own reasons in this story, there is a camaraderie between the contestants.
“They share an often-gruelling task of standing in the heat and going without sleep for up to four days.
“The people are real and the songs are inspirational, sad and silly, meaning the show will take you on a real rollercoaster of emotions.”
One of the main challenges, according to David, is the car.
“We need to create movement within a show that must have the characters with their hands on the car,” he said.
“And we need to create a car that is described in the synopsis as a character, not just a prop.”
Hands on a Hardbody plays at 7.30pm June 27, 28, 29, July 4, 5, 6, 11, 12 and 13 with a 2pm matinee July 7. Tickets are $37, $32 concession – book at TAZTix.com.au/limelight or call TAZTix on 9255 3336.
Limelight Theatre is on Civic Drive, Wanneroo.
Breeahn Carter plays flirty restaurant hostess Heather, trying to win a car, in Hands on a Hardbody.

Hello! Just finished this dress, that I’d like to use for my wedding (haven’t planned it yet) and it’s abit big around my torso, dropping in the back abit and if I lean forward well you get an idea… Need some advice on how I can alter it with permanently altering it. Was thinking some darts on the back? Photo of the back from two different angles.

Hello, asking for a friend. She is marrying someone from france but she is from the netherlands. They want a wedding in morocco (they are both from tangier & tetouan). Do you guys know much does a wedding cost approximately in Morocco? And I am not talking about a BIG wedding for rich moroccans with a lot of singers and bands etc. But also not a wedding in the house what the lower class does. Just something in the middle.
A nice wedding here for us in the netherlands is without the first henna day 20K. In euro’s.

Hey what's up! 🥰. Hi! So first of all I wanna say that I'm based in the england! Not really keen on dating anyone outside of the UK. 😄.
So obviously I'm a gamer 👀 I play on console specifically for Playstation ! So brownie points if you do too! Appearance wise I'm kinda alt? I guess! Definitely curvy, I have short hair ! Constantly dying it too lmao. I'm also 5'4ft.. yes a shortie haha. I have cats! I also love memes, music, cooking and baking! 🖤. Please also have an understanding that I do low key suffer with anxiety and need someone who's willing to be reasurrening etc.
My ideal guy would be someone who is funny, kind, considerate, someone who cares about there health and preferably doesn't drink heavily. Someone who stays in shape (fit/average) and obviously taller would be ideal haha. Oh and obviously a gamer too! Console though... haha Please also drive ? I'm over a couple of hours away from London! And I do 100% wanna meet up. I have a preference for tall white guys with brown hair and glasses! (Google the lead singer to glass animals) haha., even better if you love voice calls/notes and don't mind needy/clingy asf girls 😅🤭.
I don't want to make this post super long so all I'll add is please put some effort into a reply and please include the word "yellow" if you made it to the end ! Yay haha.
Look forward to hearing from you 🩷. Please please please include your age and location ! A photo will get you an instant response too!

Hi guys,
Just wondering what sort of bag setup you are rocking for the wedding day? I'm trying to transition away from the "bro" look with the techy Peak Design and burly Wandrd backpacks I normally use.
Was on the hunt for something more heritage and classy that I could pair with a dark denim shirt and pants since my photos/editing/branding is trending more towards that old school look over high tech, and I didn't want to show up on the day with a bag covered in MOLLE webbing or looking like a shiny jetpack.
Think less XPac and tarpaulin and more waxed canvas and leather. Was hoping to find a backpack that could hold two Sony bodies, 4-5 GM lenses, and a Godox flash alongside the bits and bobs of filters, batteries, cards. I'd then like to keep the bag in a safe place while I walk around with a smaller sling that can carry a couple of lenses for swapping.
My first instinct was to go Ona since I have used them in the past but it looks like they recently were sold or acquired by new ownership and quality has gone down the toilet- and their new stuff just looks plain ugly and not as premium as they once were. I emailed their CS to ask a question, twice over the past 10 days, and haven't received an answer- so another red flag.
I also looked at Holdfast Gear but their backpack just wouldn't work for my style of shooting- and I don't really enjoy the moneymaker dual-wielding system as much as I thought I would.
I really like the looks for the Clever Supply Sling in tan or black but don't really have a backpack to go with it (heard they are making a backpack in the future, but can't wait!).
Can anyone recommend a set? Am I overthinking this? My Ona rockaway sling is camo- is this a no-go for weddings or do people just not care?
Thanks!

Am I the asshole for leaving the family group chat? My (33) younger sister (J 24) recently eloped. J and her now husband have been together close to three years, and have been engaged since shortly after finding out she was pregnant (my nephew is now 2) When the two first got engaged, J asked me to be her MOH. I was extremely happy and excited for her and looking forward to helping her plan the wedding and other events associated with a wedding (bridal shower, ect). A few weeks ago I woke up to several notifications on my phone from the family group chat. Opening the chat up and scrolling up, I get to a group of photos. One snapchat photo above the group photos of J and her new husband standing in front of the preacher in the church that said “SURPRISE” was all the information I needed. J had eloped. And our mother was present. My initial reaction was a tornado of emotions; on the one hand I was happy for my sister and new brother in law! Glad they were finally able to accomplish a goal of theirs. On the other hand, I was sad and hurt. I was hurt for a couple reason; 1) as mentioned, J had asked me to be her MOH when they first got engaged and I was very much looking forward to helping her with all of that. Thinking that process would be a great bonding experience for us and bring us closer together. Second (the big reason) I was left out. This brought up issues from my childhood. For some context, my mother, sister and I are not exactly close. My mother got pregnant at 13, had me via cesarean at 14, and by the time she was in a stable situation of her own, I had been raised by my grandparents and considered them to be my parents. I would always go and stay the weekends with my mother, when I was younger I stayed most of the summer with her. She had my sister J when I was nine. Growing up I always held a bit of animosity towards J because of the fact that she got to be raised by both her biological parents while I was raised by my grandparents (who are amazing parents! Don’t get me wrong, it’s just that teenage minds don’t take things like that into consideration whenever their so focused on the negative). But the big thing that impacted me as a kid regarding my mother and sister was what happened whenever my mom and stepdad took in my stepdad’s nephew for several years (I believe they had him as an infant until he was about three or five). During the time that they were raising this little boy, my mother had arranged for ‘family’ photos to be taken. Now, I talked to my grandparents about this after the fact and TO THIS DAY they say that my mother never mentioned this to them. I didn’t find out about the photos until we got to the department store where they were being taken. I said something to my mother along the lines of ‘mom, why didn’t you tell me we were taking pictures today? I would have brought nice clothes and done something with my hair.’ To which my mother responded something along the lines of ‘I told your grandparents what I was planning today.’ Me: ‘well, why didn’t you say something last night? I would have worn something different and looked nice’ mom: ‘it’s no big deal, I had planned on the pictures just being the three of us today anyway (mom, J, and the little boy), we’ll have pictures taken another time’ (we never did). So I proceeded to stand off to the side while my mother, sister and this little boy took ‘family’ photos. I tell you this to help you understand the ‘childhood issues’ I mentioned. So, I was trying to sort through a LOT of emotions at the time. My main thing was (and still is) the fact that my mother and sister had no consideration for me at all. They didn’t think to try to tell me. It’s things like this, and the ‘family photo’ from when I was a child that make me feel like they don’t see me as family, and that’s what hurts the most. I don’t mean to sound selfish, that’s not my intention, I just want to be given the basic common courtesy I’ve always thought was basically given between family members, especially mothers and sisters. At this time, one of my uncles (R) was in the group chat stirring the pot. R was insinuating that he and his fiancé had been in attendance during the ceremony. My other uncle (T) was going along with this as a joke. (T recently lost his wife). While I understood that R and T were joking, not being serious (R trying to lighten the mood due to T’s recent loss) I simply was not in the right head space to sit there and listen (or rather ‘read’ I suppose) their little back and forth banter. I didn’t want to accidently say something in my emotional state that would make things worse. So I made the decision to leave the group chat. I had every intention of having someone add me back a day or so later once the hurt wasn’t as raw and I had a better handle on my emotions. The next day, my mother called to inform me that I didn’t need to be upset over what had happened as I was not the only person that hadn’t been told of the ceremony. She informed me that the only reason she had been there was because it was on a Saturday, and she babysits for them on Saturdays.

I know all of you like to tell your scary stories, I like them too. Way back when my voice was still high-pitched I knew a man who told the scariest stories you'd ever hear, well he wasn't a human exactly, but he sure was a man. A good man by estimation, but you can be the judge of that. See, my mama used to live way down in the rural bits of Texas. Ain't nothing much down there 'sides toads and mosquitos. Fireflies would light up the night sky, and once in a while you'd see a couple eyes comin' up from the water. We lived in a small house, a bedroom, a kitchen, nothing special, but nothing shameful neither. It was just me and mama, papa left a long time ago, mama says he was out on the lake and got eaten by one of them gators. I believed it, he was always drunk and on a tear. He'd go out into the reeds until they got as high as his head. He was big a fella, too. That man'd go out there and throw meat to the alligators, meat my mama said we couldn't afford. And he'd come back scratching from the mosquitos and what else was in those high reeds. He'd stumble into the house and fall asleep somewhere round the door.
None of that may seem wholly pertinent, but it will be, just give it some time. I was outside one evening, mama was asleep. Mama was a hard sleeper, I think she grew up by a train track - Chicago she said, mama was a city girl that came out to the country to raise a big family. It was just me though, I never asked why, but it was always just me. It was a gorgeous evening, the ones you see in those little photo booklets that advertise how beautiful the town is. Fireflies dotted the sky, and a big yellow moon lit the whole way down to the lake. As much as a lake as you could call it, the critters sure did like the water. Bugs, frogs, gators, big and little fish; you could stick a net in the water and be sure something'd be stuck in there.
So, I walked throught the reeds, taking little chunks off the ones nearest me so I could find my way back. It was just a straight walk, but you try walking in a straight line when you're blind. You'll end up going in a circle - I think that's why they say we have a circulatory system. As I'm just near the water, pullin' reeds, and swattin' mosquitos, I see a kid with a lantern, about my height. The lantern was half the size of his body, big flame in the middle of glass, the orange waves danced and flickered lighting everything it touched, and casting shadows where it didn't. The kid beckoned me too him: "Hey, come here" he said. Well, it wasn't a kid, it was a very adult voice. "Little person" I thought, that's what they liked to be called. Just the same I didn't feel too comfortable approaching a man I didn't know.
"Come here, it's all right." And he beckoned again. Something about him, seemed - familiar. I didn't need much convincing, I headed over to him, and he gestured with his hand for me to sit. I sat, and he sat beside me. Wasn't much of a man either, he had a bulbous yellow eyes that searched around and never found anything. Big lips, red splotches just about everywhere. He was fat too, well not quite fat, but somehow, inflated. He was barefoot, and smelled like old hamburgers. I breathed through my mouth, and waited for him to speak again.
"I've got tell you a story about that house you're living in" he said. He paused, just waiting for it to sink in. Somewhere I was livin'. Now, I loved my house, and I loved my mama, but there weren't nothing worth telling a story about there. And everyone in town knew about papa, so it couldn't be that.
"Just me and my mama here" I replied, shifting a bit on the dirt as the small tide lapped close to my sneakers, the shadows from the lantern playing on the water. I had my eyes fixed on the water, always expecting a couple of eyes and a big alligator mouth.
"Just hold on there, I've been around this place a long time, I might know something you don't." He waited again, his eyes whirling, and his hands shuffling around the dirt, like he was lookin' for something on either side.
"Okay, go ahead then."
"There's a woman in that house, sometimes thin, sometimes big. Sleeps heavy, talks about the trains in Chicago"
"That's my mama"
"It is?"
"yes sir"
"She good to you?"
I hesitated. Mama was good, but she was rough sometimes. Sometime she'd get sick, and, well, irrational. She'd yell about how people in the house tryin' to talk to her, wanted to 'get' her. Eventually she'd tire herself out, and then she was a sweet mother then. Cooked the best beef stew you'd ever had, I never had any other beef stews, but her's was real good all the same: "yeah, she's good" I said.
The little man waited again, then continued on: "Well, maybe I'm talkin' about another woman. I couldn't know, your mama seems a wonderful gal."
"Tell me the story" I said. My fingers were tapping on the ground, along the dancing shadows, under that big yellow moon. I could hear the plop of a fish flying out out of the water and right back in. That siren eek of a mosquito came by my air and I shooed it away. And I looked at the water, where it was lit by the flame I could still see the little man. His eyes still whirling, his hands still digging.
"Well, some woman lived in that house. And she had a husband, handsome fellow, maybe a little too hard on the bottle, but he got done what needed to be done. For years the two of them would talk about havin' kids, and it just never happened, well almost never. Don't worry - I'll get to that. Now I want go too into the details because you're so young, but boy did those two try. And sometimes, like woman do when they're ready to become mamas, she'd get nice and big. Then she'd get thin again. Now, her husband was confused to say the very least. His wife'd cry, say the child was taken by the Lord, and they'd continue on about their lives, alone, in that little house by the lake. But funny enough how God works, like a miracle, when they were at their saddest - plenty would come in. See, the woman had a sister from the city who'd send her big packages full of meat and she'd make that meat into a nice stew. Sometimes they even had a little extra, you know what they'd do with it?"
I paused, I knew, I heard the stories. "He'd go throw it to the alligators"
"You're right, he'd throw it right to the alligators, now I don't know if gators can taste spice, but if they can they're mighty tough. That stew was always filled with the habaneros and all sorts of chilis, something you gotta stop and sweat for every few bites. Not those gators though, they'd gobble them right up. I'll tell you though, one day those two did have a child, handsome one too. Fuzzy brown hair, and cute as all get out. Looked' something like you matter of fact. Named him Matthew."
"My name is Matthew" I knew what was going on, I did, and I felt something like fear and something like comfort. Knowing just who this man was saying he was.
"Is it? Well, that can't hardly be a coincidence. I'll tell you something though, Matthew, I lied earlier in the story, I s'pose I should go ahead and tell you the truth."
"What's that?"
"Well, you already figured out, wasn't too hard, that's your mama I'm talkin' about, and yes, I'm your papa. I'm sure you figured that out too. I know I don't look like much not after you know what happened, but I didn't die. I've been living around this here lake since you was born. Your mama says she don't want me back in the house account of how I look. I don't blame her, but it sure is frustrating." there was some rustling in the reeds behind us, and the croak of some old frogs - they always sounded old to me at least.
"And that meat, ain't no packages from Chicago, I don't think Carol ever lived in Chicago, maybe she did, but I never heard from anyone there. And there wasn't so much as a picture to prove it. Those was those little miracles from the Lord. Yes I'd put one in your mama, we'd wait a few months, and we'd have ourselves a nice meal. The first one really was a miscarriage, and we were hungry, so we tried just a bite. Maybe we were both a little too much on the whisky, but we were very hungry. And boy - it tasted good. Best meat I'd ever had. And as long as I could keep fishin' by that lake I could give your mama the energy she needed to make that delicious beef stew."
I got up as fast as I could muster, I tried to run, took a few good strides, and then felt arms on my shoulders, locking me in place, and shoving me down onto the floor. I squirmed and screamed: "Let me go, no!" I cried, and I hollered, but it was no use. It was my mama, she straddled me with her legs, and pinned my arms down so I couldn't move a muscle. She smelled like those old hamburgers. And she smiled the sweet smile she always smiled when she was in one of her better moods.
"We waited a bit longer with you, wanted you to be nice and ripe, and now I think you're ready. Don't you think he's nice and ready, Carol?"
Mama took one hand off me, whipped it behind her back, and pulled out a big kitchen knife. She held it in front of me, and I could say my eyes in the metal, tears were rolling, and my face was red and screaming. Can't say I'd been that scared since.
"Carol, darlin', before we make our meal, how bout' we kiss like we used to. It'd be nice for him to see what a happy family looks like"
"Kiss you?" Mama spat. "You ugly little drunk, not even the alligators would want to kiss your mouth. Last one tried to kiss you spat you right out. I ain't want nothin' to do with that."
"Darling, I missed you."
"I didn't miss you, I ain't lettin' you back in the house neither. You think I can't find another man? Just past this lake I've got a hundred suitors just waitin' to take a gal like me. Bet they have big cocks too, not like your little pecker."
That was enough for papa, He ran right toward mama, I don't know how he did it with those whirlin' eyes, but he did it. He came and pushed mama right off me. I started crawling away as quickly as I could. Papa bit her and mama let out a big yelp: "Fuck!" she screamed; mama didn't cuss much 'less she was real mad. And boy was she real mad. I crawled into the reeds and hid there, lookin' through to see what was gon' happen.
She stabbed him, right in his arm when he tried to block her form his stomach. Big nasty gash, blood running everywhere, a little brown, a little green, but still mostly red. But he kept just goin' kickin' and bitin'. "I'll kill you!" she screamed and slashed, and they both yelped and hollered.
Then, I swear, he started hummin' a little tune, sounded like a nursery rhyme, and the water started to bubble, and I saw two big eyes out of the water, and then that mouth, and a big gator came right up. whappin' his tail, snortin' and groanin' in that way gators do. Bit mama on the leg, and started draggin' back to the water, mama screamed, and kicked, but that gator hung on. Bit up on her thigh, boy was she bleeding, strips of meat, and bone cracked and split. That gator dragged mama right down into the water. There was some splashin' and the gators back would come up and then back down into the water, and occasionally I heard a gurgly scream, but before I knew it the whole thing was over.
My papa sat there, I have to say, even then I felt a bit bad for him. "Son come out of those reeds, I promise I ain't gonna eat you no more."
I came and sat by papa and papa started hummin' again. I started to get up, but he put his hand on me. "Don't worry, she ain't gon' hurt you. I just gotta go away for a while."
The alligator came back on to the land and papa sat right down on her back, she crawled into the water until just her back and his upper body were above the water. "I gotta go son, I'm sorry. One day we might see each other again."
I didn't say a word, what was there to say? I met my papa, and he tried to eat me, now he wasn't, and now he was riding an alligator. So, I just nodded, and secretly hoped that maybe I wouldn't see him again.
And then off he went across the lake until I couldn't see him no more, haven't seen him since either. I went back to the house, and I'll tell you, I heard those voices my mama used to hear, too. But they wasn't mad at all, they was saying thank you. I think those are my brothers and sisters, and I think they thought I did something right. I whispered, "Don't thank me, thank papa, he saved us after all." And then, I'll tell you, nobody ever heard those voices again.

I’m hoping to find some reassurance and advice from those who might have been in my shoes. I’m currently deep in wedding preparation mode and I feel completely out of my depth. I’ve just had my makeup trial, hair trial, and dress fitting all in one week, and it’s been... a lot.
For some context, I’m not a massive "girly girl." I usually opt for baggy clothe and the last time I wore a fancy dress was at prom, which I look back on and hate the pictures. So, having my hair and makeup done (apart from these trials) is very new to me.
During the trials and fittings, my bridesmaids, MIL, and mum were full of compliments but when I look at the pictures, I just don’t like what I see. It makes me worry that I’ll look back at my wedding photos and regret my choices. I absolutely love my dress (Oliviana by Enzoani), but given my usual casual style, I can't shake the feeling that people might think it’s a bit too much for me.
Has anyone else felt this way during their wedding prep? How did you get around these feelings? Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance!

My wife and i have done about 10 cruises and pretty much decided we like Celebrity. We gave Virgin Voyages Valiant Lady sunset soiree out of Miami - Wed eve, May 29 to Sun AM June 2nd a try on impulse.
We live four hours north of Miami, 1 hour north of Tampa.
We have a central sea terrace (balcony) on deck 9. The ship is really nice. we’ve learned to always get a balcony - no fighting for private outside space. The restaurants have been weird - and disorganized.
The weird part is the food is too edgy/fufu - I’m a standard but healthy american diet guy. I don t want the experiential or unusual variations, I just want standard fare.
The disorganized part is the restaurants bring the wrong food and drinks. They brought our food to the next table, another night my wife (we don’t drink alcohol, was given a cocktail instead of the drink she ordered. One small and a small sip - ick.
I will most likely go back to Celebrity. We’ve had fun, but there’s been some disappointment.
Pluses: free basic Wi-Fi - not for streaming, but works well for text, email, posting, sending a photo or two.
Soda (Coke products) included without additional package. Nice staff, clean cabins, large balconies, the ship is huge. Finally - no kids. I love children, but not on a cruise. We’re in our late fifties, we have young grandchildren, but it’s been nice just hanging out with adults.
We had a couple from our town in Florida at our table last night - possible new friends.

My (30M) GF (35F) and I have been together for almost a year now. I already know I want to marry her someday, but she was clear even on our first date that she wants to take things slow and we have. She's a very beautiful woman, and also black. I am white. No big deal to me. But this comes into play.
I posted a photo on Facebook of us after we agreed to be exclusive and an official couple. I di touch up the photo a bit and when she came over she asked about what I did to change the photo. I was honest with her and told her I did use a lightening tool as she is very dark skinned and I felt her mood shift entirely. She was overly calm and asked me if her dark tone needed adjusting that much in photos and I got nervous and just joked that if she's darker than Lupita Nyong'o (an actress she loves) than yeah I had to lighten her up a bit.
I have to say I think my GF is gorgeous and striking. She has these beautiful almost hazel eyes, long curly thick hair, and is toned like a midnight sky. I've never seen anyone who looks like her in person.
Here where I may he an AH. I work in photography as a hobby after work and mainly do weddings and such but have little to no experience in photos of people of color so I asked to do some test shoots with her. When I showed her the touched up photos she said that she looked noticeably lighter in her skin tone and said that she didn't really like it. I honestly thought one of the photos might very well be my favorite photo of her ever and pointed out that I always thinks she's beautiful but this photo is the most beautiful I've ever seen her. She asked me if that meant I wished her skin was lighter but reassured her that I don't obessess about what I can't change and I always think she is the most attractive person in the room.
She started taking about how she was discriminated against and I quickly backtracked because I felt she was trying to say I might be racist. I am not. She said that it happens even in black communities that people with darker skin are treated badly and that because she is biologically an only child all her siblings are lighter and it was a point of Bullying for her. I said "well I am not black so I am not shaming you" which my brain did the stupid sentence salad and I knew I sounded stupid but she just went quiet and didn't really say much after that and didn't want to stay over after.
She was a bit distant for a day and then texted the other night that we need to talk essentially. I assume it's about this but it feels so blown up by now - aitah for this?

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/CuteLeader6038
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes
AITA for walking away from my best friend's wedding over her demands for my appearance change
Triger Warnings: body shaming, emotional manipulation, controlling behavior, bullying
Original Post: March 20, 2024
I (30F) have been inseparable from my best friend "Lily" (30F) since we were kids. Coming from a small town with little to offer, we promised each other we'd be there through thick and thin. Our backgrounds are humble, and we've both faced our share of struggles, supporting each other no matter what.
Lily met "Evan" during college, a charming guy from a well-off family. When he proposed last year, it was like a fairytale unfolding, especially with Evan's family offering to spare no expense for their dream wedding. Naturally, I was thrilled when Lily asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I envisioned dress shopping and bachelorette planning, all the fun stuff.
However, about three weeks ago, Lily requested a sit-down that felt more like an intervention. She presented me with a "Maid of Honor Makeover Plan," which took me by complete surprise. It wasn't about dresses or spa treatments; it was a detailed regime for me to change my appearance drastically before the wedding.
The plan was shocking - Lily wanted me to dye my vibrant red hair to a more "understated" shade to avoid clashing with the wedding palette, get a spray tan to "blend in better" with the other bridesmaids, and she hinted heavily at me losing at least 20 pounds to "fit perfectly" into the designer dress she had picked out.
I've admittedly gained weight since college, something I'm self-conscious about, especially next to Lily, who's remained as fit and active as ever. But this... this felt like a slap in the face. I tried to laugh it off, hoping it was a bad joke, but Lily was dead serious. She claimed it was all in the spirit of having the perfect wedding photos, heavily influenced by the expectations of Evan's family.
I felt betrayed. Our friendship had survived so much, yet here we were, divided over something so superficial. I told her it was unreasonable and hurtful. She retorted that I was being selfish, letting my insecurities get in the way of her happiness. That hurt.
The argument escalated quickly, with words thrown that we could never take back. In a moment of hurt and anger, I told her if my appearance was more important than our friendship, perhaps she should find another Maid of Honor. Lily accused me of abandoning her and destroying our friendship over something so trivial. We haven't spoken since that day. The wedding is fast approaching, and the fallout has been swift and divisive among our circle of friends. Many of them, caught up in the excitement of the event and possibly influenced by Lily's side of the story, have been calling and texting me, suggesting I'm overreacting. They say I should just apologize and make up with Lily, implying that my refusal to comply with her wishes is a sign of not valuing our lifelong friendship.
Social media hasn't helped, with subtle posts from some of the bridal party hinting at my absence and the disruption it's caused. It feels like I'm being painted as the villain in a situation where all I wanted was to maintain my dignity and self-respect. The pressure from these mutual friends is immense, making me second-guess my decision. Was standing up for myself worth the potential loss of a friendship I've cherished for over two decades? Or have I indeed overreacted, allowing pride to cloud my judgment and harm a relationship that's meant everything to me?
This ordeal has left me feeling isolated, questioning the dynamics of our friendship, and wondering if it was ever as unconditional as I believed it to be. Am I the asshole for walking away from my best friend's wedding over her demands for my appearance change, even when everyone else seems to think I should just apologize and move on?
Relevant Comments
marblefree: NTA she chose a "wedding aesthetic " over friendship. I don't know how you move past her thinking impressing her new relatives with how perfect she and her life is (because why else is she doing this), over having someone who truly loved her in her wedding party.
Please do yourself a favor and unfriend /unfollow all of these people. Do something fun or indulgent for yourself on her wedding day (even take a holiday). Life is never perfect and having people love you no matter what is what stands the test of time.

OOP: Thanks a lot for saying that. It’s been a mess, and you pretty much nailed how I’ve been feeling. Honestly, the idea of ditching the drama and doing something cool for myself instead of getting hung up on the wedding day hadn’t fully hit me until now. Maybe a little getaway or just a day off doing my favorite things is the move.
Really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. It’s kinda wild how a few kind words from someone who gets it can make a big difference. Cheers for the support—it’s helped more than you know.

Charming_Big2092: This is a hill I would die on. Honestly, what she did is disrespectful and hurtful. Do not doubt yourself. She has shown her true colors and what she values most. Which is others superficial opinion’s instead of a relationship with true value. It is heartbreaking to accept that your friendship is falling apart , but stay strong knowing you advocated for yourself that is true strength.

OOP: Thank you. Really, just hearing someone else say that helps a ton. It’s been rough, doubting myself and all. What you said about standing up for myself—that hit home. It’s tough to see a friendship go sideways, but you’re right, it’s about respecting myself at the end of the day.
Appreciate your words more than you know. It’s comforting to feel understood and not alone in this. Thanks for backing me up.

 
Update May 25, 2024 (2 months later)
I wanted to give you all an update on what's been happening since the fallout with Lily. Firstly, thank you so much for your support and understanding during this tough time. It means the world to me.
After everything went down, I felt like I needed to reach out to some of our mutual friends to explain my side of the story. Some of them totally got where I was coming from and were really supportive. But, you know how it goes, some of them sided with Lily too, which was tough to hear.
It's been about a month since the wedding, and I still haven't talked to Lily. We're still friends on social media, so I see her updates every now and then, which is a bit weird. But I've come to terms with the fact that maybe our friendship wasn't as solid as I thought.
Skipping the wedding wasn't an easy decision, but I felt like I had to stick to my guns. It's been rough dealing with the fallout, but I'm starting to realize that real friendships are about more than just going along with whatever someone else wants.
Thanks again for all your support. It's been a tough journey, but I'm getting there, one step at a time.
Comments
arianrhodd: True friends love you for who you are, not the aesthetic they want you to fit for the "perfect" wedding. The fact that she made the outrageous requests in the first place (dye your hair, get a spray tan, lose weight) for her wedding indicates a complete lack of respect and empathy.
How would the "friends" siding with Lily feel if their appearances were picked apart and told they needed to drastically change their appearance for her wedding?
Her behavior was shameful and pathetic and I'm truly sorry she treated you with such disregard after all you teo meant to each other.
mangos247: One day Lily will realize how ridiculous her requests were, and that she threw away a good friendship for nothing.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/O4Orgy
TIFU telling my gf (22) how I (23m) met my friends
Originally posted to tifu
Previous BoRU
I (22m) am hours away from having group sex and it's stressing me out Oct 6, 2022
I'm using a throwaway because my other account reveals who I am.
My roommate (22f), who I've been sharing an apartment with for the past 6 months, approached me a few weeks ago to discuss the possibility of hosting an orgy. I can imagine most people in my situation being surprised or disturbed or whatever if their roommate asked for permission to allow random people to have sex in their personal space. I was not too surprised or disturbed because 6 months has been more than enough time for me to realize that my roommate is an extremely sexual person and she's not shy about showing it.
I'm a virgin. My roommate is aware of that, and even though from time to time she teases me about it, she's never made me feel bad and always seemed proud of me for being so chilled about sex. Back to the orgy. My roommate asked if it was okay if the orgy could happen at our apartment. She said 7 people were expected to participate, all friends, and she would be the 8th. She answered all of my questions regarding the logistics and promised to leave the place spotless when it was over. To be honest, I didn't really care as long as no one did anything in my room or touched my gaming console.
My roommate was over the moon when I said yes. I arranged to sleep at my mom's house on the night of the orgy to avoid any awkwardness, which made my roommate feel somewhat guilty for "kicking me out", but I encouraged her to focus on the fucking because I'll be focusing on my mom's good cooking lol. A few days after that conversation my roommate asked if I was interested in taking part in the orgy. I said if this was about me staying at my mom's house for one night, she really shouldn't feel bad. My roommate said it's not only about that but also about "hospitality."
She said the group agreed that I was more than welcome to join if I wanted. I laughed and said thanks but no thanks. My roommate advised me to think about it and said I should keep in mind that a virgin guy would be very hot for the group and I would most likely receive "special treatment." She also added that before I made a final decision, I should forget what I've seen in movies or porn and therefore should not be expecting everyone to have 10/10 bodies. I said I would think about it. The orgy is happening tonight. I eventually agreed to participate. It wasn't a quick decision. I did have time. It's been weeks of talking.
I've been added to the orgy group chat. Everyone in the group has been welcoming and open to answering my questions. A big topic of discussion was boundaries. At one point it felt like I was doing an AMA because everyone was asking me what I was comfortable/uncomfortable with. Not gonna lie, I'm getting more and more overwhelmed and I'm beginning to stress out. As helpful and supportive as my roommate and the others have been, I need to ask all of you to weigh in. A 22 year old virgin in an orgy... should I be excited or should I be nervous?
UPDATE
My original post was long enough, so to spare all of you from reading another novel, I'm just gonna list the key information. It's still long though. Sorry.
• It's close to midnight on my side of the planet. What a night.
• By the time I've added this update, the orgy would've been over for less than 2 hours.
• I helped my roommate set up the space in the apartment we were all gonna use for sex. She made sure there were condoms, scented candles, lube, towels, water, etc. I hardly recognized the place when she was done with it.
• During #3 my roommate was running me through the process one on one for the final time and once again made sure I understood that I should never feel pressured to perform anything or to please anyone regardless of prior agreements.
• The group arrived sometime afterwards.
• All of us socialized at first. I learned a lot about the group. Everyone was friendly and interested to know how I was feeling. I realized very quickly that I was attracted to one of the girls in the group more than the others, but none of them were bad looking.
• Once the socializing was out of the way, my roommate explained what the rules and the safe words were before formally introducing me to the group and reminding everyone that I skipped my mom's cooking to be there so I needed to be treated with extra care and appreciation lol.
• So much was discussed before anything sexual happened. Most of it was information everyone already knew based on previous discussions. But some of it was new to me like the "conversational sex" option, which basically meant you could have a sexual conversation with one or more people who had no desire to have sex yet, but don't mind saying filthy things to one another to get them in the mood.
• Boundaries were discussed. Questions were answered. Challenges in the past were addressed. It was a proper meeting.
• My legs were fucking shaking when that meeting eventually came to an end. 11. My roommate gave everyone the green light to proceed and she wasted no time taking me under wing.
• My roommate and I were sitting on the couch while the others were beginning to touch and kiss one another. She was holding my hand and telling me how nice I smelled. I said thank you and returned the compliment. We continued complimenting each other until we were both comfortable enough to kiss.
• I can't tell you how long we kissed, but when my roommate and I were no longer locking lips, I noticed some of the other people were wearing a lot less.
• This might sound weird, but seeing naked bodies on full display like that became uncomfortable and overwhelming. I told my roommate how I was feeling and she asked me to follow her to the balcony to get some fresh air and for a change of scenery.
• During my time on the balcony, the girl who I was most attracted to in the group, before I kissed my roommate at least, decided to join my roommate and I on the balcony and find out how I was doing. Her hair was shorter than mine, but it was hot. The three of us talked for a few minutes before I said I was willing to continue.
• Short-haired girl performed oral on me when I finally managed to get hard.
• I never came. My nerves got the best of me. I apologized to the group and said I would feel much better if I could go to my room because I'm struggling to relax. I made it clear to all of them that they did nothing wrong, but it just wasn't for me, at least not for now. Everyone was really understanding and wished me goodnight.
• I've been in my room ever since. The apartment is quiet now. I have no idea how many people have gone home and how many are sleeping over, but I'm sure I'll find out in the morning.
Not the best ending, but I have no regrets. I'm sure I'll lose my virginity when the time comes. Anyway, the end. I'm going to try and get some sleep now. Thank you all for the advice!
TIFU telling my gf (22) how I (23m) met my friends June 3, 2023
A couple of nights ago my gf was supposed to meet my friends. I've been delaying the process for months because I knew I had to have an uncomfortable conversation first. I met my friends at an orgy. My roommate at the time asked for my permission to host an orgy at our flat. I said yes, as long as my room and my belongings were off limits and the flat was cleaned properly afterwards. My plan was to spend the night at my mom's house and be out of everyone's way during the orgy, but my roommate encouraged me to stay and participate.
I was still a virgin back then. The thought of sleeping with one person was overwhelming enough, let alone a group of people. However, my roommate eventually convinced me to take part. I was added to a group chat with all the people who were gonna be involved in the orgy. All of them made me feel really comfortable. That being said, when the orgy finally happened, I was unable to have sex with anyone. My anxiety won. Everyone was understanding though. Life went on.
My roommate became my ex roommate after a few months, but we never stopped being friends. The connections I made with the people at the orgy also developed into friendships. We're still friends now. My gf didn't know my history with them until earlier this week when I finally had the courage to explain the orgy story. She was shocked and disturbed and asked if I lied to her about being a virgin when we met. I said no. She struggled to believe that a virgin guy would walk away from an orgy with his virginity still intact.
My gf made it clear that she was no longer interested in meeting my "friends." She said she didn't know how she could be in a relationship with someone who was friends with people who shared him. I asked my gf if she was breaking up with me and she said she was gonna need some time to decide what to do. Last night she decided. Our relationship is over.
TL:DR I told my gf that I met my friends at an orgy. That was all she needed to hear to break up with me.
Edit:
I never had sex at the orgy, but I did end up kissing my roommate AND another girl did go down on me. I didn't leave out that information to make my gf look like the villain, at least not intentionally, this is my fuck up after all. I should have provided a link to my previous post that explained everything or included the kiss and the BJ when I initially posted on this sub. It's understandable that my gf is uncomfortable with my past because my past is still part of my present due to the friends I have.
Update June 10, 2023
My mom and dad invited me to have dinner at their house a few nights ago. I was planning to inform them about my break up during dinner, but I realized it was too late when I showed up at the house. My parents were already informed. The dinner invitation was a smokescreen to confront me about the details. My ex gf apparently broke the news to my mom and dad soon after our relationship came to an end. My parents knew about the orgy, the friends I made at the orgy, and why my gf no longer wanted anything to do with me.
It was an ambush. Or an intervention. I don't know. But it was awkward. My mom wanted me to make her believe that my ex gf lied and that I never participated in group sex. I confirmed what my ex gf said was true. My mom looked disturbed and asked if I got tested. I assured her that I was clean and that it's almost been a year since the orgy. My dad looked equally disturbed and asked if I was really friends with people who openly shared their bodies like that. I said yes and described them as good friends. I even told my dad that one of my friends who openly shared her body also openly shared her homemade lasagna that my dad enjoyed eating when he was sick.
I asked my mom if she remembered the DJ with the tattoos that stepped in at the last minute at my sister's wedding because the original DJ dropped out. My mom said yes. I asked my mom if she remembered that DJ playing some of her favorite golden oldies like "Flashdance... What A Feeling" and "Stand By Me." My mom said yes. I asked my mom if she could guess how it came to be that I knew that DJ. My mom said "oh." I told my parents not to worry about me and advised them to avoid communicating with my ex gf because whatever was happening between us, was between us.
Towards the end of the dinner, my mom and dad knew a lot more about my "orgy friends" and seemed less uncomfortable. I think once the shock of me being involved in an orgy fades away, my parents might be keen to meet my friends one day. Hopefully that day never comes though lol.
TL:DR My ex gf informed my parents about the orgy to complicate my life, which prompted my mom and dad to confront me, but I managed to shift their focus from the orgy to the friends I made at the orgy, and now I think my parents might want to meet them at some point.

NEW UPDATE

TIFU telling my gf about my ex and unexpectedly inspiring my gf to tell me about her friends May 25, 2024
My gf scrolled through my Instagram a couple of days ago and came across an old photo of my ex. I thought I erased all the evidence of my ex, but apparently my digital deep clean was not deep enough. My gf commented on how attractive my ex was and asked why our relationship came to an end. I said she didn't like my friends. I wanted to change the topic, but my gf wanted me to explain why my ex didn't like my friends. I sighed and said my ex never met my friends, she just hated the origin story of how I became friends with them.
I explained to my gf the same thing I explained to my ex, which was that my friends were people I met at an orgy almost 2 years ago. I said I was a virgin back then and my roommate at the time hosted the orgy at our apartment. My plan was to avoid the orgy and keep my distance until it was safe to return, but my roommate convinced me to take part. I was too nervous to go all the way, but I managed to get a BJ out of the experience and a group of good friends. My gf digested that information and asked if my ex dumped me because I became friends with the people who wanted to sleep with me. I said yes.
My gf said she would never break up with someone because of something like that. I said that was a relief because for a moment there I was afraid history would repeat itself. My gf said she fucked her friends too. I almost choked on my coffee. My gf proceeded to show me photos of said friends on her phone. Her commentary boiled down to "fucked him, fucked him too, even fucked her, fucked both of them together, never fucking him again, kind of fucked him, fucked him the most." You get the picture. My gf kissed me and said she was happy that I was as close to my friends as she was.
I've literally been having nightmares of my gf showing me those photos, but the photos never end and her commentary becomes more and more descriptive and disturbing. I don't know what's worse, my ex gf leaving me because I had one sexual encounter with my friends or my new gf staying with me and being totally transparent to the point of traumatic about sleeping with all of her friends.
TL:DR My gf came across an old photo of my ex and wanted to know why we broke up. I said my ex left me when I informed her that I met my friends at an orgy. An orgy I was too nervous to fully take part in. Oral sex was all I got. My gf said she would never break up with me because of something like that, and to prove it, she showed me an almost endless collection of photos of her friends and pointed out who she fucked, who she never wanted to fuck again, who she fucked the most, etc. I fucking died inside.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

not sure if someone already pointed this out but i was rewatching the show, and noticed something during the first episode. while lucy is at the wedding rehearsal we see she has flashbacks of her time with stephen, most of the flashbacks we ended up seeing later on in the show EXCEPT for these two scenes. my guess is these scenes happened after him leaving the party with diana.
my reasons:

• lucy asks if he still loves her, and considering stephen didn’t tell lucy he “loved” her until the end of episode 9 it must’ve taken place during episode 10.
  
• both lucy and stephen are apologizing to each other, maybe she tells him about the evan thing and he’s apologizing for leaving with diana (it’s the same setting as the first photo from what i can tell)
  
• it’s the show’s opening scene which i thought was a dream, but lucy has a flashback of it during the wedding rehearsal. in the scene stephen is telling lucy not to hate him, she looks visibly upset and imo the only time she was upset with him to the point of hating him was during the last episode.
  

i think they probably cut these scenes out in order to leave off on a cliffhanger, what do you guys think?

Hey everyone. What was your quotes on getting hard copy photos printed from your photograph? I honestly feel like my photographer is upcharging me a lot and wondering if there is online printers that people have used to get there wedding photos printed. When I check one site it was 1.80 per 5/7 photo and my photographer quoted over $7 per 5/7 photo. That seems very steep IMO. Thought? Advice? Links?