Pictures of normal urethra in women

Armo[u]red Women: Cause injury isn't beautiful

2012.02.20 20:29 StrangeGibberish Armo[u]red Women: Cause injury isn't beautiful

A place to celebrate women in practical armor and to elevate artists.
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2022.01.29 19:16 monkyCEO Girls in Lululemon

A sub for pictures/videos of women wearing Lululemon leggings/pants/shorts. Not affiliated with the brand in any way.
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2016.09.20 18:25 PTbest WrestleFap

Subreddit dedicated to posting all women of wrestling.
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2024.06.01 12:30 Safe_Tension2014 A horrible aspect of ADHD that I don't see many people talking about

One aspect of ADHD that really upsets and bothers me is my sense of identity. What I mean is that it seems like that (from the outside) "normal" people seem to grasp on to something in their lives and build a sense of identity around that. For example I have a friend who is a musician and a total music freak. He loves certain bands, plays and writes similar music and has a bunch of friends who are into the same thing. They go to gigs together etc. I have another friend who is really outdoorsy and into fitness. He goes on hikes, trips and exercises and is really into all aspects of his interests. You get the picture..
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Then there is me. My hobbies and interests are forever changing so often that nobody can keep up. I cling too then abandon things so quickly that it can barely be classed as a hobby. Everything is just a fleeting obsession. I have never had something I could cling onto and build upon. I have no sense of identity. I just exist in this rollercoaster cycle of discover > obsess > abandon > repeat.
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It really sucks. I'm nearly 30 and I have barely achieved anything or stuck with anything long enough for it to have had an impact. It's gotten to the point now where I am so jaded with it all that my brain actually stops me when I get that ADHD "Spark" of interest in something because in the back of my mind I know it wont last so what's the point?
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In my life I have wanted to be a video game developer, A musician, A prepper, A writer, A chef, A painter, A mini-wargamer, To make movies, A skater, A martial artist, A youtuber.. The list goes on and I have failed time after time at everything I have ever tried my hand at.
submitted by Safe_Tension2014 to USANootropics [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 12:24 ekraftx After 5 losses.. what next?

TW: Mention of pregnancy losses.
Apologies in advance for my lengthy post but necessary for history;
I just miscarried my first euploid from my first egg retrieval/transfer cycle and I'm devastated to say the least. I've now had 2 miscarriages at 7 weeks, 1 ectopic, and 2 chemical pregnancies.
A week or two before my miscarriage, a lot of weird things were going on with my body. I had an allergic reaction and my eyes blew up with hives up and down my arms. We could not narrow down what the reaction came from.. I continued all my meds and I was fine and it didn't happen again.
A few days later, at 5w5d I noticed swelling in my ankles around lunch time at work and I sit all day, so I thought that was odd.. I kept an eye on it all day and it progressively got worse. Spread to my feet first, then up both legs. My calves were literally double their normal size. I went to urgent care and they sent me to the ER to rule out a blood clot because the swelling was so bad. I was fine, no blood clot but no answers either.
I remembered this happened to me slightly (just feet and ankle swelling, and it went away with elevation) during my first pregnancy that I also miscarried at 7 weeks. I knew I took a picture to send to my husband so I ended up finding the picture and checking the dates, I was exactly 5w5d.. the same as this time and I miscarried a week later also.
My Dr thought that was more than just a coincidence and immediately said "We need to turn over every stone and make sure you don't have an autoimmune disease" Our appointments go fast and there's always so much info being thrown at me that I usually get to my car and think of 100 questions I should've asked.
If you saw a Rheumatologist after recurring pregnancy loss, what did they check for? Did you test positive for anything? Did it help with your protocol and end in a live birth?

TLDR; Multiple losses, being referred to Rheumatology.
submitted by ekraftx to IVF [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 12:12 Disastrous-Moose2225 Genuine question; what’s so beautiful about this religion? What makes people want to convert

I’ve been an ex Muslim for 10+ years now, I’m very lucky because I denounced Islam when I was super young so I didn’t suffer too much. My family isn’t religious and my mom and sister also left Islam, so I totally wanna acknowledge the privilege I have, sometimes I read some of Yalls story and my heart breaks. However, I am living in the Islamic republic of Iran and it’s disgusting. I find 0 appeal in this religion because everything about it is so disgusting, I can find the appeal in Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism, Christianity, Zoroastrianism, etc (I know some anti theists will come in and say “UhhhMM aLl rEliGioNs sUcK!” , literally don’t care it’s actually quite disgusting how you guys think any religion can come as close to Islam, even Mormonism is basically a Lowkey Islam but still not to islams level) Iranian women are suffering every single day with the stupid ass laws, we can’t live normal, everything is blocked. Etc. this religion wants to get rid of anything that brings you joy or a sense of humanity/ connection. There’s no music there’s no music ,no toys ,no laughter, no dancing, no singing, no love , no art, no games , no drawing, NO LIVING yet pedophilia, rape, murder and war are complete A- okay. I don’t understand the girls in the west who convert to Islam, do you not hear the cries and screams of girls in the Middle East? It’s not a “racist stereotype” , in Islam god really does hate women, Mohammad himself said women have half the intelligence and deen of men. I always believe that heaven will just be somewhere where it’s just complete peace, but Islam shows heaven as this whorehouse, how do you as a women read that passage in the Quran and think “wow I love that that’s so beautiful!” ??? Have yall hit your head somewhere? A Religion that promotes killing of non-Muslims does it never hit you that that’s very fucking weird that no other religion calls for that? Isn’t it weird how in most religions the biggest sin is to commit murder but in islam it’s “shirk” which literally means to just imitate another religion. for example you could be forgiven for waging war against non Muslims, rape , murder, take their kids and wives as slaves (quite frankly you’re following the religion) but if you’re a Muslim and have a Christmas tree oooff how dare you. I wish for the people who are living in the west could see this and understand this when this religion becomes a majority and takes over everyone is fucked. We’re also miserable. Don’t listen to the stupid ass victim card playing Muslims in the West, who talk about being oppressed, they are NOT oppressed in the Middle East. “I’m sad bc in my religion I’m allowed to beat my woman but it’s illegal here, this is discrimination 🥺” “ I can’t openly say I wanna kill gay people but my dean Islam is beautiful and peaceful” I see non-Muslim westerners, even now repeat the things Muslim say “ Islam is perfect. Muslims are not.” Bitch lmao WHAT? Just a bunch of useful idiots. So many women Conver to Islam it actually scares me. Do you guys hate yourselves that much? And I love how all the people were always advocating about the beauty and freedom that Islam give are all in the… west. For those of you that are in the west and saying “ oh Islam is not that bad it’s just racism” guess what! I look very much look Middle easterner, but still I get treated like shit as well in foreign countries because it’s a racism thing not a religion thing. No one hates you because you’re Muslim. They hate you because of the country that you came from and your country has committed atrocities. There’s no such thing as “Islamophobia” , the suffix “phobia” means irrational fear, fearing this religion is just human instinct. It’s not irrational. Sometimes on my for you page on Instagram or TikTok I’ll see these random white ladies open a page from the Quran and start sobbing talking about how beautiful it is. I’ve read the whole entire Quran front and back and to be honest it’s a mid book. I’ve read poetry books (like hafez) a billion times more beautiful than this bs book. How do you read this book that says the most basic philosophical things and then the next sentence is “ and you must kill all non-believers” and you’re like “wow omg 🥹” . So basically my rent is I don’t understand why people convert to this religion. I’m convinced that they’re all lied to. T I’m convinced that they’re all lied to or They’re sick in the head. I need someone to explain to me what is so beautiful about this religion?
submitted by Disastrous-Moose2225 to exmuslim [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 12:11 Womens_Health_Clinic 🌸 Unveil Your Inner Health: The Ultimate Women's Checkup Revealed 🌸 #womenshealth

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submitted by Womens_Health_Clinic to u/Womens_Health_Clinic [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 12:01 AutoModerator Daily Questions Thread June 01, 2024

This thread is for individual style questions that you may have, especially those that don't warrant their own thread. We all want a diversified opinion, so feel free to answer any questions (of which you know the answer).
To get the best responses, remember that people cannot; look into your wardrobe, know what style you normally like or what words like affordable or practical mean to you so please include any relevant details such as your budget, where you live, what stores are available to you, etc.
Example questions:
If you'd like to include a picture, you can now post pictures directly in the comments, without having to link an imgur album.
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2024.06.01 12:01 Horrible_Student Gustin 1968 experiment after 1 year

Gustin 1968 experiment after 1 year
BACKGROUND: A little over 2 years ago I got into raw denim. What interested me was that there were different “rules” on how to weause them. The first “rule” I was exposed to was to wear them everyday for 6 months straight then soak in the bathtub with some detergent. As I read more posts on this sub, I notice a lot of discourse on how often you should wash, so I decided to try to run my own little experiment.
My brother was showing some interest after all my incessant chatter about my super cool fades and raw denim. And thus, the perfect opportunity arose.
THE EXPERIMENT: I wanted a cheap pair of raws for me and my brother to simultaneously wear. I went with Gustin because they are cheap (relatively), and are cut similar to Levi’s so I already know comfort won’t hinder how much my brother would wear these. I made sure to order these from the same batch, so as to ensure there weren’t any initial indigo discrepancies. Once we got the jeans, I admittedly lied to my brother and told him to regularly wear and wash the jeans like he normally does and they’ll eventually end up like my other pair. As for my pair, I was going to follow the don’t let my jeans touch soap and water for 6 months rule, with one change compared to my last pair; I didn’t wear them everyday. My brother obviously didn’t wear the jeans every day, he usually had a 2 pair rotation and washed every week. I matched that rotation best I could to have similar wears at the end of the year.
I originally intended to make a comparison post at 6 months, but I wasn’t really seeing a fade difference dramatic enough to be post worthy.
My pair is the one with the belt, and my brother’s is the one without. Bonus pair in the last picture.
submitted by Horrible_Student to rawdenim [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:59 YukiteruAmano92 There Will Be Scritches Pt.180

Previous Interlewd XLI Next First

---Sample---

---Fnurfar’s perspective---
---2710 Terran Calenda3 years BF---
All six of my paws desperately scramble against the slick pavement of the Prosperity back alley as I flee for my life!
Pursuing me… is a monster!
His species aren’t meant to be sprinters!
They said if it came to a chase, I just needed to quickly get out of his line of sight and keep going and he’d not be able to keep up!
I skid around a corner and steal a glance behind me, seeing two furious eyes moving towards me so fast that they seem to leave streaks of emerald green behind them as afterimages!
The Fury is so close on my tail that he’s almost certain to catch me now!
It would be laughable how much my… ‘employers’ had underestimated him if it weren’t so terrifying!
Youve got a Terran with you! There should be no issue!’
Yes, that idiot mercenary they hired almost had me going with his smug, arrogant proclamation that ‘Big=slow! Slow=dead!’ as he idly showed off his little knife tricks!
My confidence lasted up until the very moment I saw the one we were supposed to rob!
[20cm] taller than the skinny mercenary and looking like he could easily weigh twice as much, the man was a Hunt damned beast compared to the one who was meant to protect me from him!
I think Flynn reassessed his cocksure attitude as well because, rather than waiting for me to have an opening like we agreed in the [fucking] plan, he just drew a knife and tried to stab the monster to death!
An extremely poorly calculated risk!
There was no competition!
This juggernaut dealt with Flynn as easily as Flynn could have dealt with me!
It took him a matter of seconds to dispatch my accomplice but that was a matter of seconds where he was distracted enough that I was able to snag what we had been after… not that it makes any difference now!
Just as I hear thundering footfalls coming up on my left, powerful fingers impact the space between the bottom of my neck and the top of my top shoulderblades.
I’m slammed into the ground… but not killed
I can feel the power contained in the iron grip around my neck…
I know that decapitating me would be as simple as deciding to close his fingers but, as I wait for death to come, it doesnt
Instead, the hand slides up my shoulders, gathering the loose skin and lifting me up like a kit in her parent’s mouth…
The first thing I’m able to see is the monster’s flat, booted feet, followed by a pair of long thick legs, then a chest and left arm covered in a loose fitting, buttoned shirt, patterned with vertical and horizontal lines.
The red fabric of his top disguises the bloodstain from the wound he got from Flynn, just below his shoulder. However, the nauseatingly metallic smell of it absolutely fills my nostrils!
The final thing to be revealed, as my feet hang more than [a metre] from the ground, is a face… the scarred skin a pale beige, the white, calcite teeth bared in a furious grimace, copper coloured eyebrows tilted downward in the middle over a nose, wrinkled with anger, and emerald eyes, burning with rage!
His shoulders rise and fall, in time with panted breaths he sucks in and out through his gritted teeth, putting me less in mind of a person (or even an animal) catching their breath after exertion and more in mind of some hulking piece of machinery from the Steam Age venting its pressure!
The Terran extends his pallid skinned, long fingered, furless, pentadactyl left hand to me, stained with the ferrous blood that’s run down his sleeve, and growls “Sample!”
No…” I breathe, terrified.
GIRL! I AINT fuckin’ PLAYIN’ with you!” he snarls, curling all but his index finger and jabbing it towards my snout “You’re gonna. GIVE. BACK. what you. FUCKIN’. STOLE!”
Youcan take itfrom my corpse…” I defy, clutching my exhausted, trembling pawhands to the front of my jumpsuit.
Effortlessly, his free hand comes forward, batting my four aside, before pinching the top of the stasis vial and pulling it free, with there being absolutely nothing I can do to stop him!
He holds up the tube, in which is visible a small plant with a rosette of frilly black leaves and through which can be seen a frozen impression of the room it was in when it was stasised, demanding “You’re really willin’ to die for this!? For corporate espionage?!… Why the fuck’s this matter to you like that?!?!?!”
“I dont careabout the plantat all…” I answer, defeated.
His face twists in a sneer as he asks “Then why tell me I had to pry it from your cold. dead. hands!?”
Becauseif I come backemptyhandedtheyre going totorture my husbandand sonand make me watch!… If I dontcome backat all… maybe theyll let them go!” I pant in answer.
His face falls blank… but I can tell that is not because he’s no longer angry!
Instead, his redoubled rage has gone from white hot to ice cold as he leans in and demands “Whosthey’?”
---2715 Terran Calenda2 years AF---
One!?” demands the sceptical, lutrine, Nvar man, one of six listening to my story for the first time (along with the two friends who’ve heard it before), holding up a webbed pawhand and extending a single finger “You’re trying to tell us that one Terran dismantled the entire Giluspri Sisters’ Syndicate, overnight!?… Simply because you told him a sob story about them holding your family hostage!?”
“I did say you wouldn’t believe me(!)” I smirk, lifting my drink to take a sip.
“You’re damn right I don’t believe you!!!” he sneers “It might have been a little more believable if you’d made it a team of a dozen or so Terrans that were guarding this thing but one!?… There’s no way it took a single individual a single night to root out and entirely destroy an enterprise that Prosperity’s government had been hunting for nearly [2 decades], even if that individual was a Terran!”
I place my drink down on the table and turn the palms of all four pawhands to the ceiling as I say “Believe me or dont… that’s exactly how it happened!”
“Hmmm… Don’t know ’bout ‘exactly’…!” comes a familiar voice from behind my head, in the next booth over.
I freeze and straighten my back.
The friends and audience in my booth are looking past me, curiously, but, from their faces, it doesn’t look like they can see anything.
I stand and slide out through the gap between the table and Nafnarl’s footpaws.
I turn right and am immediately able to see that the booth next to us is occupied by a mixture of Terrans and some much smaller humanoids with green skin.
I keep going, rounding the partition to reveal…
“By the Hunt! Victor?!” I exclaim, seeing the man sat with his back almost exactly to where I was sitting, next to another tall, slim humanoid with blue skin and four arms.
His copper hair is much longer, his face isn’t as scarred and isn’t wearing the disgusted sneer that characterised so much of the time he and I spent together but… there’s no mistaking it!
The man turns his head, smiling, before standing up to nearly twice my height and extending a palm to ruffle the fur between my ears, saying “How’s it goin’, Foxy? You look a lot better ’an you did last time I saw you at least(!)” gesturing with his other hand up and down my less skinny and less visibly scarred body.
“Never mind that, Victor! What are you doing here?! You didn’t tell me you were coming back to Prosperity!”
He smirks “Yeah, sorry Foxy… It’s a loose lips sink ships kinda deal… Just thought I’d show my friends here the bar you brought me to celebrate after everythin’ was done that time… Didn’t think I’d actually run into you here!”
I stare up at the man, agog, for a few moments before reaching up with both my left hands and closing them around his wrist.
He allows me to drag him back to the head of my table.
“Nafnarl! Gfurnaf! This is him! This is the one I’ve been telling you about for the last [5 years]!” I say to my two Graufna friends before turning to the rest of the table to declare “Hes the man who took down the Giluspris! He’s Victor ‘Cuddles’ Taylor!”
With mirthful bemusement, the Terran raises his left palm to the table to smile “Y’alright guys!” before his eyes scan the faces and his expression goes concerned. He turns to me and asks “Your hubby alright, Foxy?”
I bare my teeth (I hope friendlily) and answer “Fnarnulf’s fine, Victor!… Fuffarn too! This is just a girl’s night…” gesturing at my two friends “…or… it was(!)” gesturing over the four men and two women, of four different species, who joined us to hear my story.
“What did you mean by it not being ‘exactly’ right?” queries Lunvo, the same sceptical Nvar who voiced disbelief before, still looking sceptical (not that I can blame him) but at least impressed by the fact that the ‘con’ has a (imposing looking) Terran stooge now(!)
Weeeeell…” Victor frowns down at me, mirthfully “…the way she described me dodgin’ that knife attack, she made me sound almost psychic(!)… In reality, she and this guy werent as smooth as she seems to think(!) The fact that I even got nicked by someone I was payin’ as much attention to as that is a bad reflection on my reaction time!… Also, she kinda made it sound like I went into their headquarters with a gun in one hand and a lit plasmasword in the other(!) As I recall, I gave ’em all a chance to surrender and come quietly and it were only after they, shall we say, indicated a lack of interest in that option that my weapons first cleared leather!… Oh! And what was with all that comparin’ the way I pant to ventin’ steam engines, Foxy(?!)”
But…” starts Muan, a nervous tolypeutine Wne woman beside her Wno husband, Kmuw “…you don’t deny it was you and you alone who brought down the Giluspris?… Without help?”
The pale skin of the Terran’s flat face performs a complicated scrunch as he considers the question before answering “Don’t know ’bout ‘without help’… I had Foxy here for showin’ me the way, after I’d done a lotta convincin’… and, once I’d taken care of ’em, local law enforcers came to take the survivors away… Aaaaand… I probably didnt actually manage to kill or capture every last one of ’em… just gutted its power structure enough that the rats fled the sinkin’ ship(!)”
“Why are you calling her ‘Foxy’?” asks Lunvo, four eyes narrowed in suspicion “‘Fnurfar’ is the name she gave us!”
The large man shrugs his shoulders “I didn’t get her name until we came here to celebrate… she didn’t trust me to give it… Had to call her somethin’, so I called her Foxy.”
“Hmmm…” responds Lunvo “…I’m not buying it…”
Victor raises an eyebrow “You ain’t buyin’ me givin’ her a nickname(!?)”
“I don’t believe any of it! The whole story reeks of the fanciful!”
I bare my teeth and slam my paws on the table before snarling “I don’t care if you question my honesty, Lunvo, but this man saved my husband’s life, my son’s life, the lives of dozens of others, freed me from effective slavery and freed this planet from its largest criminal syndicate! I will not have you questioning his integrity!”
Lunvo cowers away from me, despite the table separating us.
I feel a large, strong hand on my shoulder.
I turn to see a smiling face.
Eeeeasy there, Foxy… ’Preciate the defence but there aint no need to get heated over it!… ’Specially not when there’s a really easy way to sort this out…” he looks up at Lunvo and asks “Lunvo, was it? Could I ask you to look up the front page of the Prosperity Chronicle from the 3rd of September, 2710?… I think you’ll see a picture of me shakin’ hands with your governor at the time…”
---
Previous Interlewd XLI Next First
Discord
Dramatis Personae
submitted by YukiteruAmano92 to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:59 Jello_Biafra_42 My parents sent me to therapy.

Recently, I came out to my parents about how I felt on my sexuality and how I've been having thoughts about other women romantically and sexually. They didn't responded well at all. They whooped, yelled at me, and took away my electronics for a while. Now it's days later, and I've been signed up for a Sunday school service at our local church to "cure my thoughts", it's me and a couple of other kids in this church constantly being talked to by our pastor about the sin of gayness and transgenderism and how we need to be blessed and preached to. The church makes us work in the sun or work in the church kitchen to "teach us values", and we're not allowed to bring any electronics or things that can record stuff. What do I even do in this scenario anymore? It's legal in LA so it's not like I can call the cops. A part of me just doesn't care anymore, I just want everything to be all over and just be allowed to be a normal child again. I wish I never told my parents.
submitted by Jello_Biafra_42 to ainbow [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:57 nncn6 Did I make the right decision to break up with my bf?

I need advice regarding my relationship and decision that I’ve made. I want to know if I made the right decision. I (21f) met my (25m) bf at a tobacconist. He approached me and was very polite and asked for my number and if he could take me out. I asked him about his age and if he works because these are important things for me to know before even giving out my number. He answered and said he wasn’t working at the moment because he just got out of house arrest and I asking him if he’s not working, how will he take me out? He told me money isn’t an issue he’s just not employed. I got what he was trying to say. He took me out on a date and it was perfect. He was polite, sweet and a gentleman. It felt like love at first sight for me. We began dating and then he got arrested near my street when he came to drop off a motorcycle to someone and then came to see me. At this point, I knew him for 5 weeks in total and we spoke about a lot of things and I told him hypotheticallly if he was to be locked up again I would hold it down for him. I don’t think he believed me at the time I told him but when the situation arised, it wasn’t even a question for me and I did hold him down. It took a few weeks for him to get processed and call me. I wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be with me anymore. Right after his arrest, I tried to track him down to which jail he was at and sent him letters with words of encouragement and reassurance that I am here for him as promised. In those three weeks of no contact, I also got his BPAY details to put money in his account and have been this whole time. Around $30-$50 per week. He usually spends that money to call me twice a day for 15 minutes per call. Sometimes he calls me 3 times a day. In the weeks where I couldn’t send him money, he never asked for money but I realised the calls were only once a day as he was trying to space out the calls for the week as he was low on money. Still, he never asked me for anything. He’s always given me reassurance during the 6 months he’s been inside and speaks to me kindly and gently. When we do have issues, usually on the first call he will say something that’s not quite right and upset me but always fix it by the second call when he’s had time to think about it. I’ve felt lucky af to have him because he’s been the most sweetest and romantic person I’ve been with yet. All of his friends know bout me and message me when it comes to important information regarding his trial. His mum has also confided in me for the last 6 months and has told me that I’m like a daughter to her (although in the last 1 month she’s ghosted me). I had a face to face visit with him last month because his mum took me with her and it felt amazing to be able to see him and hold him. He has lied to me about a few things starting off with his ethnicity. When I met him he told me he was two different ethnicities but I later came to find out drop his mum that he’s actually 100% Indian and doesn’t have any roots of those other two ethnicities. His mum showed me her entire family as proof and his dad’s family. His mum has also warned me numerous times to break up with him because he’s been in and out of prison since he was 20 and every time he says he will change but he doesn’t. He’s also gotten expelled from school so he never finished school either. He has never had a normal job but has been making money in other ways so money isn’t an issue. I also think he might be addicted to drugs but I am not sure. He has gotten people to transfer different amounts of money into my account and for me to transfer them to other accounts. I did become suspicious of what’s going on but I kind of turned a blind eye to it and told him he better not be making me do something I shouldn’t be doing. He’s always told me if i don’t want to do it it’s totally fine and he can get someone else to do this for him. I am confident I am the only girl he’s talking to as I can book visits every week and I can tell other people are not really visiting him except his sister and mum sometimes and his mum’s also given me reassurance that he is talking to me only me and that when it comes to relationships he is soft hearted. I also do think he is soft hearted. I have experienced a lot of adversity from people and people definitely have looked down on me and have told me all sorts of negative things but I tried to stay strong and stay in the relationship. I have always brought up with issues and we have fixed them. Anyways, he gets out in 10 days and last week I went on to reddit to read peoples posts about dating someone that’s in prison and it scared tf out of me when I saw that all this sweet romantic talk is just “prison talk” and that they will switch up once they come out. I have sent him lots of pics of me too and I saw other people talking about how they sell and trade photos of women and I think I know him enough to know he respects me to not do that to me but all of these things just freaked me out. I am really scared of getting hurt so I tend to withdraw from relationships because the other person can leave me or hurt me to leave him. I know it’s something I struggle with but I have held it down for 6 months even though I only knew him for 5 weeks prior. I have tried to support him in every way I can and I have never missed a call from him. I am not strong enough to break things off over the phone because the calls are timed and I am afraid that if he does give me reassurance over the phone rn it’s probably “prison talk.” I would never ghost him or not give closure so I sent a message to be passed to him to his friend. In the message I basically talked about the reason why I’m leaving is because i don’t think he loves me and probably only feels so strongly about me because he’s in jail and all he’s got is time so now he’s infatuated with me but when he comes out that may change. I don’t want to hold him to promises he’s made while being in there and I don’t want to subconsciously force him to be with me I did write all that in a panic state. Anyway, I think he got the message. He did try to call me a few times after he got the message and I didn’t pick up. I love him a lot so deep down I do want him to try and prove me wrong and give me reassurance that it’s not just prison talk and that he does love me and want to be with me. He’s always made it clear he loves me over the phone. Do you guys think I made the right choice and that if he truly does love me, he will understand how I have been feeling on my end? It’s very difficult to be a loved one of someone that is incarcerated. You feel lonely and always in an emotional roller coaster. I stuck through and didn’t abandon him during his sentence but now that he’s coming out, I’ve kind of just set him free so he doesn’t feel guilty about treating me differently when he comes out if he realises his feelings are not as strong as they were once he was locked up.
submitted by nncn6 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:52 nncn6 Did I make the right decision to break up with my bf?

I need advice regarding my relationship and decision that I’ve made. I want to know if I made the right decision. I (21f) met my (25m) bf at a tobacconist. He approached me and was very polite and asked for my number and if he could take me out. I asked him about his age and if he works because these are important things for me to know before even giving out my number. He answered and said he wasn’t working at the moment because he just got out of house arrest and I asking him if he’s not working, how will he take me out? He told me money isn’t an issue he’s just not employed. I got what he was trying to say. He took me out on a date and it was perfect. He was polite, sweet and a gentleman. It felt like love at first sight for me. We began dating and then he got arrested near my street when he came to drop off a motorcycle to someone and then came to see me. At this point, I knew him for 5 weeks in total and we spoke about a lot of things and I told him hypotheticallly if he was to be locked up again I would hold it down for him. I don’t think he believed me at the time I told him but when the situation arised, it wasn’t even a question for me and I did hold him down. It took a few weeks for him to get processed and call me. I wasn’t sure if he even wanted to be with me anymore. Right after his arrest, I tried to track him down to which jail he was at and sent him letters with words of encouragement and reassurance that I am here for him as promised. In those three weeks of no contact, I also got his BPAY details to put money in his account and have been this whole time. Around $30-$50 per week. He usually spends that money to call me twice a day for 15 minutes per call. Sometimes he calls me 3 times a day. In the weeks where I couldn’t send him money, he never asked for money but I realised the calls were only once a day as he was trying to space out the calls for the week as he was low on money. Still, he never asked me for anything. He’s always given me reassurance during the 6 months he’s been inside and speaks to me kindly and gently. When we do have issues, usually on the first call he will say something that’s not quite right and upset me but always fix it by the second call when he’s had time to think about it. I’ve felt lucky af to have him because he’s been the most sweetest and romantic person I’ve been with yet. All of his friends know bout me and message me when it comes to important information regarding his trial. His mum has also confided in me for the last 6 months and has told me that I’m like a daughter to her (although in the last 1 month she’s ghosted me). I had a face to face visit with him last month because his mum took me with her and it felt amazing to be able to see him and hold him. He has lied to me about a few things starting off with his ethnicity. When I met him he told me he was two different ethnicities but I later came to find out drop his mum that he’s actually 100% Indian and doesn’t have any roots of those other two ethnicities. His mum showed me her entire family as proof and his dad’s family. His mum has also warned me numerous times to break up with him because he’s been in and out of prison since he was 20 and every time he says he will change but he doesn’t. He’s also gotten expelled from school so he never finished school either. He has never had a normal job but has been making money in other ways so money isn’t an issue. I also think he might be addicted to drugs but I am not sure. He has gotten people to transfer different amounts of money into my account and for me to transfer them to other accounts. I did become suspicious of what’s going on but I kind of turned a blind eye to it and told him he better not be making me do something I shouldn’t be doing. He’s always told me if i don’t want to do it it’s totally fine and he can get someone else to do this for him. I am confident I am the only girl he’s talking to as I can book visits every week and I can tell other people are not really visiting him except his sister and mum sometimes and his mum’s also given me reassurance that he is talking to me only me and that when it comes to relationships he is soft hearted. I also do think he is soft hearted. I have experienced a lot of adversity from people and people definitely have looked down on me and have told me all sorts of negative things but I tried to stay strong and stay in the relationship. I have always brought up with issues and we have fixed them. Anyways, he gets out in 10 days and last week I went on to reddit to read peoples posts about dating someone that’s in prison and it scared tf out of me when I saw that all this sweet romantic talk is just “prison talk” and that they will switch up once they come out. I have sent him lots of pics of me too and I saw other people talking about how they sell and trade photos of women and I think I know him enough to know he respects me to not do that to me but all of these things just freaked me out. I am really scared of getting hurt so I tend to withdraw from relationships because the other person can leave me or hurt me to leave him. I know it’s something I struggle with but I have held it down for 6 months even though I only knew him for 5 weeks prior. I have tried to support him in every way I can and I have never missed a call from him. I am not strong enough to break things off over the phone because the calls are timed and I am afraid that if he does give me reassurance over the phone rn it’s probably “prison talk.” I would never ghost him or not give closure so I sent a message to be passed to him to his friend. In the message I basically talked about the reason why I’m leaving is because i don’t think he loves me and probably only feels so strongly about me because he’s in jail and all he’s got is time so now he’s infatuated with me but when he comes out that may change. I don’t want to hold him to promises he’s made while being in there and I don’t want to subconsciously force him to be with me I did write all that in a panic state. Anyway, I think he got the message. He did try to call me a few times after he got the message and I didn’t pick up. I love him a lot so deep down I do want him to try and prove me wrong and give me reassurance that it’s not just prison talk and that he does love me and want to be with me. He’s always made it clear he loves me over the phone. Do you guys think I made the right choice and that if he truly does love me, he will understand how I have been feeling on my end? It’s very difficult to be a loved one of someone that is incarcerated. You feel lonely and always in an emotional roller coaster. I stuck through and didn’t abandon him during his sentence but now that he’s coming out, I’ve kind of just set him free so he doesn’t feel guilty about treating me differently when he comes out if he realises his feelings are not as strong as they were once he was locked up.
submitted by nncn6 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:47 achuchumadmad LECHENG TEACHER ATTACHMENT YAN BAKIT NAUSO

TL;DR: teacher yung asawa ko at may nagclicling sa kaniyang young student who claim to have teacher attachment issues sa clock app kaya now my husband wants to go to therapy.
TW: Attachment issues
I JUST WANT TO LET IT ALL GO!
My (25F) husband (27M) husband teaches in a public school for two years now. Nahirapan siyang makapasok sa public kasi ang dami nang teachers. He's the typical walang-pake-sa-ibang-tao at gusto lang magturo lalo't dream niya talaga 'yun. He's very passionate when it comes to teaching kasi talagang hs pa lang kami talagang gusto niya na magturo. Tipikal ding hindi siya nahilig sa social media maliban sa fb at mes for his work duties. Wala ring laman ang facebook niya at walang ibang friends kundi co-teachers, friends, ako, our families, and mga pictures lang namin ang nakapost. Literal na silent kasi wala siyang hilig aside from books.
A few months ago, nabanggit niya sa akin na may student siyang oa kung makacling sa kaniya. Iritable siya kaya raw sinabihan niya na wag hahawak sa kaniya. That was the first time na nag-open siya hanggang sa masundan na naiinis siya kasi laging nagchachat yung bata sa kaniya and he only replies when he needs to. Umabot sa point na pati sa gc raw nilang kasama niya mga estudyante niya kung san nagchachat siya regarding modules ay nagchachat yung student ng, "sir kumain ka na ba?" mga ganun while yung classmates ay tinatawanan daw yung chats. Lagi niya namang nireremind yung students niya not to chat unless it's urgent and it's subject related. Marami pang ibang kalokohan si student na I laughed off because I thought it was nothing.
The time na nag-open uli ako ng tiktok nakita ko pang nakaprofile visit yung student na yun. Napamura na lang ako kasi mag-isa siya sa profile visits at whole name KO yung nakalagay. So hindi ako nagpatalo, inistalk ko rin siya. ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT MOST OF HER CONTENT IS ABOUT MY HUSBAND.
May posts regarding teacher na nonchalant daw at hindi namamansin.
May posts ng pagpapansin niya sa gc with my husband and how her classmates hyped her up.
AT ITO ANG KINAINISAN KO SOBRA. MAY POST ABOUT HER ATTACHMENT ISSUES DAW SA TEACHER NIYANG HINDI SIYA PINAPANSIN. SA TEACHER NIYANG NONCHALANT.
WORST THING IS ANDAMING COMMENTS NA NAKAKARELATE. BULLSHIT.
My husband talks to me regarding the issue. Mas grabe nga siya magkwento noon dahil noon ay with matching inis and I thought of it lightly kasi I thought silly crush lang. Pero puta naman? Iba na yata yung ngayon. Anong tingin ba nila? Normal yun?
They need help.
May bulletin board sila sa school and lagi raw nanenenok yung picture niya doon. Leche lang? Gustong gusto ko magmura at magalit lalo sa part na napost pa siya sa tiktok.
Now hubby is thinking of going to therapy because he feels like the whole thing is fucked up.
submitted by achuchumadmad to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:41 sl1nkus Are China and BYD Cheating and using Slave Labor to lower the costs of their products?

Are China and BYD Cheating and using Slave Labor to lower the costs of their products?
https://preview.redd.it/9zzf54bvkx3d1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7990eabcac8a5fc21789da343c0cc49759241b68
https://preview.redd.it/gmmxpxuvkx3d1.jpg?width=428&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7cc831537a382d43e76985294834c16c4e7a22c7
Concentration camps bearing a striking resemblance to the German Camps of WW2 used to exterminate the Jewish.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/gallery/2023/dec/28/china-prison-camps-xinjiang-kazakhstan-uyghurs-kazakhs-in-pictures
Do people think that China actually competes on a level playing field?
They don't.
The Chinese are using up to or more than 2 million slaves in concentration camps in the Xingjian Autonomous Region.
They use these slaves in fish processing, cotton picking, and other manufacturing sectors including automotive.
They euthanize, rape, mutilate genitals, chemically castrate, and then they traffic the remaining women of this demographic to ethnically Chinese men to eradicate the Uyghur Muslim demographic.
This is a twisted new form of genocide.
Volkswagen recently closed their operations in the Xingjian Region due to slave labor concerns.
Source: https://www.hrw.org/news/2024/05/27/volkswagen-address-uyghur-forced-labor
The common good is not so common if you are a slave. Communism cares little for the individual, as explained here.
Additional Sources:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-62744522
https://medium.com/@TheWestGuardian/the-uyghur-genocide-a-tragedy-of-ethnic-cleansing-cultural-destruction-cdb077a5d74c
I will document this here at the bottom of the post incase the Chinese AI bot posting here decides to delete its post:
https://preview.redd.it/0hyasggopx3d1.jpg?width=693&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=365c9a5474e568fddfc9c95b9d438275c3beb53e
submitted by sl1nkus to the_everything_bubble [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:35 sl1nkus Is China Cheating and using slave labor to lower the costs of their products?

Do people think that China actually competes on a level playing field?
They don't.
The Chinese are using up to or more than 2 million slaves in concentration camps in the Xingjian Autonomous Region.
They use these slaves in fish processing, cotton picking, and other manufacturing sectors including automotive.
They euthanize, rape, mutilate genitals, chemically castrate, and then they traffic the remaining women of this demographic to ethnically Chinese men to eradicate the Uyghur Muslim demographic.
This is a twisted new form of genocide.
Source: https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/gallery/2023/dec/28/china-prison-camps-xinjiang-kazakhstan-uyghurs-kazakhs-in-pictures
Volkswagen recently closed their operations in the Xingjian Region due to slave labor concerns.
Source: https://www.hrw.org/news/2024/05/27/volkswagen-address-uyghur-forced-labor
The common good is not so common if you are a slave. Communism cares little for the individual, as explained here.
Additional Sources:
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-62744522
https://medium.com/@TheWestGuardian/the-uyghur-genocide-a-tragedy-of-ethnic-cleansing-cultural-destruction-cdb077a5d74c
submitted by sl1nkus to IntellectualDarkWeb [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:35 Visual_Ability_1229 lord Venkateswara Part 2- detailed description contd.

this is a continuation from my earlier post .
my objective is to make accessible information in the greater public domain. much of what I am saying is available in public, but obscure or not present in one single place.
Main Idol overview -
the MOOLAVIRAT or DHRUVA beram, the subject of all legends and debates.
the level of detail is really extraordinary. fingernails, toenails, striations in the skin folds, and attention to detail to every ornament is seen.
all ornaments in front view continue on the back side. full 360 degrees. mostly on the back, are the strings and knots of the ornaments , all integrally in the idol. the hair locks, also have very tiny crevices, looking like real hair, especially in dim lighting.
there is another unique problem that all of this creates - it sounds silly but only people who are worshipping idols in temples would know.
normally, during ritual baths, CUrd ( or yoghurt ) is a key ingredient.
what most people don;t know, is that curd is very very hard to clean up afterwards .
it gets stuck in tiny crevices, and eventually the room starts to smell really bad.
in tirumala, the practice is to NOT use curd, and just stick to milk and various versions of water.
the real reason for that is the exquisite features of the idol. no amount of cleaning is enough to fully bring out all the curd. so a long time back, decisions were taken to stop using it. (again lot of debates on it and lot of controversies jumped out of it)
Curd Iis used now , for all the other smaller idols, where it is easier to clean up later.
Main Idol - dimensions
there are confusing reports about his height ranging from 6 feet to 12 feet. all are false. numbers change based on how he is measured.
he is 8 feet tall, if measured from foot to top of crown. the crown is 20 inches approx. (based on size of the gold crowns made for him..all of them 22 inches to accommodate padding)
the lotus base (Padma -peeta ) is estimated to be 18 inches.
but an idol is always measured with base included. this brings the total to 9 ½ feet , as the pedestal is always counted. but in reality , when we go to the temple today, we are standing standing above the height of his feet, so we would see 8 feet of his majesty .
these are all estimates and could be wrong by a couple of inches.
also, the dimensions of the sanctum sanctorum are 12feet 9 inches x 12 feet 9 inches. square. this is available in public domain. nothin secret about it.
in the Agama, among the GarbhaGrihas, this is the largest sanctioned dimension, only possible for a very tall mula virat.
*(we need to again remember- this extraordinary idol, was exposed to the sun and moon for centuries, surrounded by elephants and lotus ponds and venomous snakes , before a human being even came into the picture. its really hard to imagine him just standing there in the forest with a smile on his face , for a thousand years, before a temple was made out of wood ( yes literally wooden temple - more on that later)
his waist is estimated to be around 24-27 inches (depending upon exactly where you measure it)
his chest is 42 inches ( some serious bodybuilding goals for men - forget the old-NTR like chubby looks)
his arms circumference for the armlets is estimated to be 19 inches.
overall, the appearance of a youthful strong tall man.
now each body part -
feet - the feet are spaced apart at shoulder width. they are extremely well-formed, having even toenails. there are toe-rings on his toes, and then there are 2 varieties of anklets on him. 1 looks more like a feminine Dancer kind of anklet ( I dont know the right word for it) . the second one is more masculine and like a thick strong ring around the ankle.
the lower body cloth (peetambaram or dhoti) outline can be clearly made in the idol, resting near the anklets. its folded into 7 layers as we move upwards to his waist. on the backside, it continues and is neatly tucked into the small of his back. there is one very interesting observation here..... the knot and tucked in-dhoti on the back looks like the hood of a cobra. senior priests say it is symbolic of kundalini.
note: no actual cobra figure appear on the idol. I am only talking about the lower garment folded in such a way. this I have actually seen on other vishnu idols in iconography books on agama. I'll share a pic here of similar feature if I can.
normally, there is no gap in a stone idol , between the feet . rock is there to preserve the stability of the idol. but here there is a hollow, and a garment can be passed under to dress him.
there is also a decorative Vastram draped on this sides, beautifully knotted on both hips. its pleats gently fall down on either side.
as we move up, his two lower limbs are strong and bulky. the calves are particularly bulky, very strong from the backside.
strong massive thighs can be made out from all sides. the kneecaps are very prominently visible.
his posture is almost straight.... with a small tilt to the right side (his right side) . as such the right knee is slightly bent. overall, he stoops very slightly fowards, as if just about to step out of the pedestal. this is hard to observe after all the heavy ornaments and garlands.
I will talk about the more technical description of his posture by using sanskrit AGAMA terminology in future posts. this was intended for people who are not familiar with highly technical jargon.
submitted by Visual_Ability_1229 to hinduism [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:34 HootyHootMcOwlface Nearly every source I can find online that deals with agression and ADHD talks about adhd peeps being agressive. Are there any sources for us to deal with the constant micro agressions and the bullying that adhd women specifically go through, especially in school?

You guys, I'm so fucking tired, do not excuse my french.
I'm tired of people complaining about people having ADHD and being "annoying" or "too much" or not having been "raised right". I'm tired of our self help groups being flooded by partners and parents who are tired of having a child/partner with a disability. I'm tired of reading about them rant and vent about how terrible their partnechild is and how they are such a nuisance.
Like, I get it. Having a spouse/kids with ADHD is hard. I know that because I once was a child with ADHD and now I'm a spouse with ADHD. We know. We struggle with it everyday. It's not like we can just split from ourselves and find a new brain or leave the room if our brain has a meltdown. We know. We always do. And we need to work harder to be accepted more than the "normal" peeps in society. It's not like we can say "Well, I have ADHD, deal with my behaviour!" because when in the history of ever was that a somewhat acceptable response to societys' demands? Never. And if we were to forget that we have to some smartiepants will tag along to remind us that we are in fact "not normal".
Like mine of you my time in school was hell. I was bullied like a lot of you. But how does one handle these situations? They also reoccur later in life, while the bullying gets less the microagressions never stop in my opinion.
Everywhere I turn online these help groups or advice papers focus on the poor, poor "normal" people who have to "handle" us. So, does anyone know any ressources for us ADHD women to tackle these situations?
Thanks for your input <3
submitted by HootyHootMcOwlface to adhdwomen [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:13 bbcada TW: Pregnancy Termination

I figured I would tell my story to the void to help me cope somehow.
It all started on April 29, 2024, with what was supposed to be a routine ultrasound for my 12-week pregnancy. From the moment they wouldn’t let me see the ultrasound and only took pictures of the baby’s head, a sinking feeling settled in my chest. Something was wrong. On May 3, my fears were confirmed when I was instructed to see another ultrasound specialist due to concerning findings from the initial scan. My husband and I tried to stay optimistic, hoping against hope that any issue might resolve itself or require only minor surgery after birth.
On May 4, we found out we were having a boy. We shared the joyous news with a few close friends and family. This was our first child, and the anticipation was overwhelming. But by May 13, I was bracing myself for the worst, determined not to cry no matter what the doctor said. My best-case scenario was that our baby had a condition where the bowels were growing outside the body, which could be corrected with surgery after birth. The reality was far more devastating.
The doctor told us the head and upper extremities appeared normal, but a large cystic structure dominated the lower abdomen, likely the bladder, with umbilical vessels entering and surrounding it. At 14 weeks, our baby was measuring at just 12 weeks, possibly due to the cyst. Worse still, the spine appeared truncated at the lumbar area, with no sacral spine, causing one leg to grow normally while the other was significantly shorter.
As the doctor explained and showed us the images, my resolve crumbled. Tears silently streamed down my face. I felt embarrassed by my inability to hold them back, even though it was perfectly reasonable to feel such heartache. Isn’t it silly to feel embarrassed in such a moment of profound grief? My husband hugged me tight, reassuring me that we could get through this together. It took all my strength to compose myself enough to leave the room.
Walking through a waiting room full of other pregnant women, I felt their sympathetic gazes piercing through me. I hurried out of the office, my heart heavy with sorrow, and finally broke down completely in the car, the weight of our reality crashing down on me. I'm a very prideful person; I don't like showing my weakness to anyone. My husband has only seen me cry a handful of times (I'm in therapy working on this).
In the solitude of the car, I let it all out—the fear, the sorrow, the overwhelming sense of helplessness. This journey, which began with so much hope, had turned into a heart-wrenching ordeal.
Making the call to my OBGYN to schedule the termination was to say the least difficult. Due to the stage of my pregnancy, I would need to be referred out to have this done. When I found out I would have to travel 2.5 hours from my area to have this done, enraged me. I was told that was the only place they could refer me to, they had one place that was in my area but they no longer had a contract with them. I had to get my insurance and husband to fight for me to have the procedure closer. I was finally able to schedule the termination closer to home thanks to the insurance, though it took some time. So my schedule date is June 3rd & 4th, I made sure to keep myself busy and not think about it. I have to admit that after hearing the diagnoses of the pregnancy, I let everyone know I was going MIA from social media and overall communication in general. Everyone gave me the space I needed to heal from this. As the days get closer, the sadness comes in waves but so does the peace knowing that he wont be suffering anymore.
Thank you for reading this.
submitted by bbcada to pregnant [link] [comments]


2024.06.01 11:07 Harry_is_white_hot The USS Curtiss USO incident: that time the U.S. Navy ship delivering the hydrogen bomb for the Castle Bravo test was shadowed by an Unidentified Submarine Object in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

The USS Curtiss USO incident: that time the U.S. Navy ship delivering the hydrogen bomb for the Castle Bravo test was shadowed by an Unidentified Submarine Object in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Inspired by Rear Admiral Tim Gallaudet’s (Ret.) recent discussions on USOs, I thought I would relate the following. Just over 70 years ago, an interesting incident occurred on board the USS Curtis – the U.S. Navy vessel tasked with delivery of the Shrimp device to the Pacific Proving Ground in 1954 for the notorious Castle Bravo nuclear weapons test. This particular test, which scientists from Los Alamos and Lawrence Livermore laboratories had calculated to have a yield of 4,8 megatons actually went far above this calculation to achieve nearly 16 megatons of TNT equivalent yield. This miscalculation exposed many U.S. military personnel to dangerous levels of radiation and, more importantly, post traumatic stress disorder from being exposed to the close-range effects of such a large blast. Was the USO incident related to the yield miscalculation event?
USS Curtiss (AV-4)
The Curtiss class were the first seaplane tenders built from the keel up for the US Navy, the previous tenders had been converted from cargo ships. They were designed to provide command facilities for forward operating long-range patrol seaplane squadrons. To accomplish this, they were heavily armed with four 5-inch (130 mm)/38 caliber dual-purpose guns, and contained repair and maintenance facilities, along with supplies for operating in forward areas for many months.
The ships had a large seaplane deck located at the stern with the maintenance shops located in the superstructure just forward of it. They were built with three large cranes, one located at the starboard extreme of the stern, the second was at the aft of the superstructure on the port side, with the remaining crane located midship on the starboard side. The starboard crane at midship was removed from both ships during WWII and replaced with a 20-millimeter (0.79 in) Oerlikon cannon gun tub. Two of the 5-in guns were staggered on opposite sides of the rear superstructure, with the remaining two in a superfiring configuration at the bow of the ships.
From 23 February to 13 June 1951, Curtiss served as flagship for "Operation Greenhouse" and was the base for civilian and military technicians during the atomic tests at Eniwetok. She also provided meteorological information and operated a boat pool. Curtiss served at San Diego, in local operations until 29 September 1952, when she again sailed to Eniwetok, as flagship during the atomic tests of "Operation Ivy", during which the first hydrogen bomb was detonated. Returning to San Diego, on 4 December, she cruised the west coast, and visited Acapulco, Mexico, in 1953. From 10 January to 28 May 1954, she participated in "Operation Castle".
Rather than write about the USO event, I will post verbatim the eyewitness accounts of two U.S. Marines onboard the USS Curtiss – Robert Mackenzie and G. Nicholas Stuparich.
First, a little background from Mackenzie and Stuparich regarding their duties on the Curtiss:
Mackenzie: So all the guys that got a clearance, we went as a group on the Curtiss. Now we knew where it was going but we really didn’t know what we were going to do.
Interviewer : OK, so after the fact, at some point you know that you’ve gotten a clearance.
Mackenzie: We didn’t know that until we were already halfway on the cruise. And the way we found out is that some of the men were called in and they were told they didn’t get a Queen Clearance. They got top secret but they didn’t get Queen. And it was no fault of theirs, Mary. Some of them, if they had one relative that was born in another country and something, they just couldn’t get one.
Interviewer: Correct. Correct. So “Q” stands for “Queen.” Yes. Or is “Queen” something you make from “Q”? I wonder. I’ve never—
Mackenzie: Well, “Q” must be “Queen,” I guess. Yes. It must be.
Interviewer: You guys said “Queen,” though, when you said clearance.
Mackenzie: Yes. Yes. And it’s a Queen Clearance, yes. And they’re still around, I understand.
.
Mackenzie: And I tell you why, is that when I went aboard ship, they made me an orderly, which was a great honor. And so I was the admiral’s orderly, and before that I was the captain’s orderly. In fact, by the time I was aboard the Curtiss for eighteen months, I worked as an orderly for three admirals and two ship’s captains and the executive officer, which was a great background for a young man. And I have the highest regard for naval officers. I watched them talk to their men, I watched them talk to their fellow officers, I saw how they solved problems, and just what a great example for a young man, to be around people of that caliber. It was wonderful.
Interviewer: Let me ask you a question here because I don’t know that much about the armed forces. The Curtiss is obviously a Navy ship.
Mackenzie: Yes.
Interviewer: And you’re a Marine serving on it. Is that common?
Mackenzie: No. It’s only in capital ships, normally, which would be battleships— Interviewer: “Capital ships.”
Mackenzie: Capital ships, which would be—the terminology has changed today, Mary, but in my day it was battleships, cruisers, heavy cruisers, light cruisers, aircraft carriers, would have Marine detachments. Now originally the Marine detachments were almost the police force of the ship. And they were called MAs, which would be Master-of-Arms. Very unpopular with the Navy. And the brig is, of course, run by the Marines. But on our ship, we didn’t have those duties, not on the Curtiss. The Curtiss, we were a special force with top secret clearances. People only didn’t talk to us because they would say, Hey, you don’t talk to those guys. It was that kind of thing. So anyway, but we ended up being very close with the Navy, but our duties, we didn’t talk to each other about our duties.
Stuparich: So, I remember signing the clearance papers and they didn’t tell us what we were going to do or where we were going. We went aboard ship as supposedly just a Marine detachment, but then it ended up being as nuclear security. We were well briefed and well trained on what our jobs were aboard ship. I did security with the devices, once they were delivered to the vessel. We did perimeter security when the devices were being delivered, which meant we were out on the pier and out in the area when the trucks arrived, delivering units. Once the canisters were brought aboard, then we were assigned to security aboard the ship, which meant working in the hole. In other words, the devices were put in a particular compartment. We were responsible for the security of that department, the corridor that led to it, and I can’t remember if we were reading the temperature. We had to take a reading, I believe, once an hour and record it. I do not remember whether it was temperature or radiation, but it had to be recorded; I remember that if there was something wrong, and I don’t know the standard, but if it went over that standard or under that standard, we had to notify the science officer, who was also the engineering officer. That was Commander Hart, I believe.
Interviewer: Now, let me back up just a tiny bit with the security piece. So there’s a point at which you’re informed, I assume after you’re cleared, of what your mission actually is?
Stuparich: Correct.
Interviewer: Give me a sense of how much detail they give you there, and how much that is connected to what you already might know about nuclear weapons.
Stuparich: That’s a little bit confusing because I know so much more now than I did then. I do not believe they gave us that much information. They definitely didn’t give us a detailed description of our duties, other than that what we were doing was actually guarding a nuclear device, and that’s all they would say. We and I think about a half-a-dozen sailors were the only ones that actually saw the canisters being brought aboard. There were not very many people. That was secured. The whole aft deck was secured when that occurred.
Interviewer: And how many of there were you, when you say “we”?
Stuparich: There were probably six Marines on the dock, one or two on the trucks, then I think there were a couple in the different corridors—what they did was they dogged the hatches so people couldn’t come in when we were loading this particular material. Then it went down into the hole and then there was a special rack because the canisters had to be triced up in these racks. I can’t remember whether there was—I think there were six to a rack. And they were triced up like you would trice up nitroglycerine, you know, with like Bungee cords but I think they were springs.
Interviewer: Say that word again. I don’t know that word “trice.”
Stuparich: Tricing means to tie, and what it does is it keeps something in balance so that if it’s hanging, it’s free-hanging, but it’s in a rack, and this keeps the canister in line, and it’s called trice, you trice it up.
Interviewer: “Trice it up.” I see.
Stuparich: We didn’t do that. That was done by their people.
Stuparich: We embarked out of San Diego, went up to San Francisco. That’s it. We went to San Francisco, went to Hunters Point for something, some sort of refurbishing. Then from Hunters Point we went over to Port Chicago, picked up our merchandise, if you will, and then when we were through with that, when we pulled out, we went down and then into the bay. At that time we picked up some escorts, and then we went under the Golden Gate Bridge, at which time the Secret Service or FBI, whoever they were, had the bridge closed, and they were waving at us as we went underneath.
Interviewer: Wow, they closed the bridge.
Stuparich: They closed the Golden Gate Bridge. It was kind of cool because being from the Bay Area I kind of remembered that. I think I was aft at the time and I was looking up and yeah, sure enough, they did. And that was kind of interesting. So then we headed out to the Pacific. I think we refueled and resupplied once or twice, a ship came alongside, I think they came out of Hawaii. They used the high line and brought the stuff across, and then they brought the refueler up and then they refueled us. And that’s why they call us the Ghost Ship, because almost everything that we did, the replenishing and the refueling, was all done at sea.
Now, the USO incident – which many people denied having happened. The "Russian sub" somehow penetrated the flotilla protecting the Curtiss and was completely undetected until it appeared underneath the Curtiss. This event occurred a full 6 years before the Soviet's first nuclear submarine set sail - so for a diesel powered submarine in the middle of the Pacific without logistic support this feat would have been incredibly difficult to accomplish.
Stuparich Account:
Stuparich : The other thing that really upset me was the submarine.
Interviewer: Yes, talk to me about that a little bit.
Stuparich : Well, Robert Mackenzie was the admiral’s orderly that night, and I was the orderly on the next deck down, and my job was to protect the crypto room which was, if you were looking down the hall, was to the left, and then the CIC which was straight ahead.
Interviewer: CIC is?
Stuparich : Is Central Intelligence Control or something like that. It’s an area where they plot everything. [Note: on board U.S. Navy ships, the CIC is the Combat Information Center] Anyway, I was standing there and all of a sudden Commander Hart came running around the corner and said, “Come with me”, with that I was on alert. So we went into CIC and then there was—I stood at the door. He said, “Block the door”, and I blocked the door. And it was one of those combination doors in those days. And I saw him talking with an officer, with the officer in command of the CIC at the time, or duty officer, I guess is what you call him, and then they were really—I could tell they were really stressed about something. Then a chief electronics mate had taken the young man off of the board and they were looking at the board and plotting on the board something, and he got on the phone to the bridge. I immediately felt the ship changing course, and we immediately started into a zigzag situation. And then I could tell, this man was stressed, and I’d never seen him stressed like that before. This way, that way. Everything was very staccato. So went back up to the bridge and Mackenzie and the Admiral were already there. And as a young man, you’re looking at their body language and their facial features and we knew that there was something wrong. Well then, I heard the conversation, and they wanted to know, in profanity, how the son-of-a-b*tch got there. How did it get there? How did it get through the perimeter? So then they were communicating with the vessels that were on the perimeter, there were destroyers out there and everything else, and they couldn’t figure it out. Admiral Wellings said, I believe that’s he’s probably been sitting here waiting for us. He probably plotted our course and just dropped to the bottom and waited till we came by, and then he came up underneath us. And he just followed us, and it was just a Russian sub, is what we anticipated. And they figured that they knew it was a Russian sub. Yeah. And it did. It stayed with us. And then what really became scary is that I remember the admiral telling the captain, We don’t have to worry if he’s directly under us. If he drops back into firing range, then we have to worry. By then, the other ships were doing crisscrosses in front and in back of us. These are the little destroyers. And sure enough, he did, he dropped back, I don’t know how far, I remember they had it plotted, and he was within firing range. And so then I just, I don’t know, something really bothered me and really happened to me mentally, because I just said [to myself], this whole thing’s over now, we’re through, we’re done with. And I guess I kind of convinced myself that that was going to happen.
Interviewer: And this is prior to arriving in the Pacific.
Stuparich: Yeah, we were on our way.
Interviewer: So, just to get a sense of it, you’re well aware of what you’ve got on board?
Stuparich : Oh yeah, because I’d already been down in the hole and they’d told us what it was. Yeah, and then you’ve got a— Got this sub, and believe it or not, not very many people knew about it. I mean surprisingly, people were telling Bob [Robert W. Mackenzie] he was crazy. You don’t know what you’re talking about. There was no submarine. Well, I know there was. And when I mentioned it to Bob last year he said, Thank God somebody else knows. And what we’re trying to do is find a third Marine who was on the bridge, but there may not have been a Marine on the bridge.

Mackenzie account:
Interviewer: So explain to me how much you knew about the mission or what you thought or what’s that like?
Mackenzie : We didn’t know anything about it, frankly. You know, I realized that it was more than just a mission. Now by that time, Mary, the Korean War was over with. We were steaming out in ’54? Yes, January of ’54 is when we left San Diego. And Korea had been over for about six months, but the Cold War was extremely hot then. And when I first realized that there was more going on than we realized is when we had full wartime conditions on the ship. And I’d thought, Well, what are we doing here? The ship’s all blacked out at night. We’ve got all these red lights on you see in the movies, like those submarine movies, everybody running and all those red lights on at night. And heavy, heavy drapes in front of every hatch. And you don’t go outside, or as they say, out on the decks without closing that, and then you open the hatch and a red light comes on, then you close the hatch. And they were conscious of sound, of lights. And I said, What’s going on here? You know. And so when I really realized there was more going on is when I was on orderly duty for the admiral. And I was on duty and on duty and on duty and I just couldn’t stand up anymore. So I called somebody in the Marine detachment and said, Well, when is my relief going to be here? It was real late at night, it was like eleven or twelve o’clock, I’d gone on that morning at 6:30, and I’d been standing all day long. That’s what you do. And I just got so I couldn’t stand anymore. So I called down and I was told that the admiral only wanted me and there would be no relief, So just stick it out, Mackenzie. I wasn’t real happy about that. But anyway, so—and I’ll put this right on tape—so a Marine never sits down on duty, but I did. I couldn’t stand up anymore. So I found a chair in an empty officer’s stateroom and I wedged that chair in a real narrow hallway that went into the admiral’s quarters, and I put my feet against the bulkhead and I rocked back and I just kind of rocked with the ship. At least I was off my feet, and I figured nobody could get by me. So I guess, I don’t know if I dozed off or what, but all I know is this sailor was shaking my arm. It was about 2:30, three o’clock in the morning. And he says, “Wake up the admiral! Wake up the admiral!” And I said,”Well, who are you? What do you mean, wake up the admiral? It’s three o’clock in the morning.” [And he said], “Oh, they want him on the bridge right now”. And I said, “Who wants him on the bridge?” [And he said], “Well, the officers, blah, blah, and all that”. I said, “Well, what is your name?” And he gave me his name, and I said, “What’s the officer’s name?” I really realized we were very, very conscious and were trained to be suspicious of everything. I don’t know who this guy is. He wants to go in and see the admiral? That’s my job. Nobody goes in to see the admiral. And so anyway I said, “Well, I’ll go wake up the admiral and you go back and report to the bridge, and I’m sure the admiral will be right there”. I didn’t want him to go in with me. And so anyway, he left. So now I’m saying, How do you wake up an admiral? You know. I wanted to do it maybe like I was back in back in boot camp and scream, say, “Hit the deck”! I says, well, no, I didn’t want to go to the brig, so I didn’t do that. So anyway I said, Well, how do you wake up an admiral? So anyway, I woke him up. And I remember he said, “What is it, Mackenzie?” And he was startled. And I said, “Sir, the admiral’s presence is requested on the bridge immediately”. You don’t want to say “immediately” to an admiral, but I did. Anyway, he looked at me, and he had a phone right next to his bunk. And I always wondered, if he had phone, why didn’t they just call him? I don’t know. You know, you would wonder. And so anyway, he picked up his phone. And like I said, the respect from the naval officers, they’re just really something, Mary, they really are. And so he went up on the deck with his blue terrycloth bathrobe on.
Interviewer: He picks up the phone and confirms?
Mackenzie: Right. And then he puts on his blue bathrobe— He doesn’t even get dressed. Oh no. They want him right now [sound of fingers snapping]. So I thought, Whoo, something’s going on. So I go up there, and it was like an old World War II movie. At my age, I grew up with those World War II movies, you know. And on the bridge, all the lights are out because we’re running at wartime conditions at night, and you can just see the shadows, you know, and those were from the glowing of the instruments and the people moving around the bridge and all that. And right away, the officer in charge of the bridge came up, and everybody was whispering. I thought, What is all this whispering about? You know. And he was talking to the admiral. And that’s part of the job of being an orderly. You’re there but you don’t get too close because if you do—
Interviewer: You’ll hear?
Mackenzie: You don’t want to hear. And the admirals will let you know, and so will the captains. If you’re a little too close to them, they’ll give you one of those, turn their head around, you kind of back up. You realize you’re a little too close. They want to be guarded. They don’t want anybody to get them. That’s your job is to protect them, help them in any way you can, so forth. But anyway, and you’ll kind of back up. But I wanted to hear what was going on, you know. So then all I heard was “submarine.” I thought, Well, so what? You know. But anyway, it turns out that we were being shadowed by a Russian sub.
Interviewer: For real?
Mackenzie: For real. And the sub was directly under us [slaps hands together] like this. And they picked it up. Because I thought, well, how did it get through our screen? We were in a complete convoy, and we had carriers, we had destroyers, we had everything. And I thought, How did this guy get through all that? And they tell me what they do is they know where you’re going. They just sit down at the bottom and wait till you get there and just [slapping hands together] pop up. They don’t have to go through any screens. And I said, Oh.
Interviewer: Oh. So they know from –
Mackenzie: Sure, they know. Yes. They probably knew, with all the spies and all that.
But anyway, the admiral asked several questions, and I guess before, he asked them if they had contact with somebody. And they said,”No, sir, we thought we’d wait for the admiral”, and all that. And he said, “Well, you should’ve. Did you contact anybody to tell them what the situation was? How have you tried to contact the sub?” Evidently they have an international language they use. Then of course they used Russian and they used everything, and no response. And so I always was kidding Kari because this was dramatic, you know. I always said, Whooo, thirty seconds from World War III. Well,
that’s the way you think of it later, but it’s very true. But the thing that I still remember today is when the admiral walked on the bridge, you get almost like this, your daddy had come home to save you or something. That man had a presence about him. He wasn’t tall in stature. And his name was [RADM H.C.] Bruton. I’m sure he’s gone now. But he walked on that bridge and all of a sudden, you could just—everybody, like, The admiral’s here, we’re going to be all right. You know. And you could feel that. And he asked just a few questions. And the sub, and they were waiting for the reply to come back, Do we take action? Do we take evasive action? Now it’s pretty hard to blow up a submarine when it’s right under you. What do you do, when you think about it? How do you get a sub from under us? But we had submarines with us, too, our subs. And so it came back, they were waiting for the reply to come back, and I thought, My God, this is more serious than I realized. You know, it was kind of like a game until then, you know, it was just wartime conditions. I mean we didn’t think anything about this kind of stuff. And so we knew security was extremely tight. Only certain people could go by us, then go into certain compartments, and I’ll tell you about that in a minute. But anyway, back to the sub. And so it broke away. And you know you say “broke away,” where’d it go? It just broke away. And the admiral, they said—sonar reported or whatever and said, The sub has broken away. They must’ve known how many seconds they had. Later I saw a Tom Clancy movie about that, where they were checking and there were seconds and all, and I said, My golly, I saw the same thing in 1954, except for real, you know. So they said it broke away, and the admiral just calm as could be and he says, Carry on, men, you did a good job. If you need me, call, and he went back and went to bed. And I said [to myself], My gosh, it was almost—it was like nothing to him. He was so in command, just knew what he was doing, asked the right questions, congratulated everybody for the job they did, and went back to bed. Now I’m wide awake. I didn’t sit down anymore for the rest of the night. But I never told any of the guys about it. I just told that guy, one of our fellow Marines, November the tenth. It was the Marine Corps birthday. We all got together here at Dana Point. And I told him the submarine story and he says, “What submarine?” I said, “The submarine”. He said,” Well, I didn’t know anything about any submarine.” And I remembered, I’d thought about it, “Well, why should I worry the guys?” And not only that, if something happened when I was on orderly duty, you don’t pass that around the ship. That’s a confidence between you and the admiral. And so I didn’t pass it on.
Interviewer: I have a couple of questions about this. You’re aware in real time, then, that it is a submarine.
Mackenzie: Absolutely. Because you’re hearing the conversation.
Interviewer: Right. It makes me wonder, as I’m listening to the story, if they had you on duty for all this time, would there have been some knowledge of some kind of danger, that they didn’t let you leave orderly duty? Do you make a connection between the fact that the sub was there and the fact that you had to be on duty for so long? That makes you wonder.
Mackenzie: Well, I don’t know. It does, Mary. I never thought about it that way. I don’t think so. I just really think the reason I was left on duty so long is that we were new at our jobs, and they just didn’t realize that when you’re on orderly duty, you’re attached [slapping hands together], you know, at the hip. And not only that, is the admiral doesn’t want to walk out and say, What’s your name? You know, he wants somebody that he can trust and could read him before he says it. I could tell what he wanted. He was looking around and so I call somebody and say, Hey, the skipper’s out of coffee. You better get some in there. See? So you’re his confidant. He’ll say, Well, how are the men thinking? Because he’s some concerned about the morale, or whatever. So you’re his sounding board. Every admiral’s different. Some really use their orderlies. I’ve had admirals when I reported, they’d say, “Well, I’m a little low on cigars, Mackenzie. Why don’t you go down and get me cigars?” Well, I don’t say, ”What kind do you smoke?” So I’d go down and ask the guy to open up the place where you buy the cigars, what’d we call that? Commissary, I think. And they used to question it. And they’d just say, “Well, you sure these are the kind of cigars you smoke, Mackenzie?” And I said, “These are for the skipper.” And he said, “I don’t think so”. And I said, “Really? Why don’t you call and ask him?” [And he’d say], “Oh, OK”. And so that kind of a thing. So, interesting. But anyway, I never did pass that submarine story on to the troops.
Interviewer: That’s so interesting. That’s interesting.
Mackenzie: And so then, now, as time goes by, Mary, as I watch the History Channel and Discovery Times Channel, all these things are coming back to me. And our main concern was frogmen. We were very afraid of frogmen. And so we figured if they came aboard the ship, how they’d come aboard the ship, what we would do, you know, if one did come on. But I never thought about mines or bombs attached to the ship, and now I think about it. Can you imagine if they could’ve got to our ship, and we had people on their like [J. Robert] Oppenheimer and had all those scientists on there? We had fifty-eight scientists on the ship. We had all the bombs on the ship. I mean what a coup that’d meant for the Russians if our ship accidentally sunk, hit a reef or something, or something went off. You know, you can just see it all right now. It’d be another Cold War incident.
Interviewer: But you don’t know that you’re carrying bombs at this point, or do you?
Mackenzie: Yes, we did. We knew we were carrying pieces of the bombs.
Interviewer: You did.
Mackenzie: Yes. Yes. Because security was so tight, it had to be something like that, when only the admiral and two or three people could go in there. And then we timed them, how long they were in, who they were with, they signed in, they signed out. They had a badge with their photograph on it. The badges were made by, at that time, the Atomic Energy Commission [AEC], and they were watermarked with all the same intensity and security as our money. And the admiral would have his picture on there. And I didn’t just look on his shirt. I had to take it off his shirt, which you don’t like to touch an admiral or a captain. It’s just this—you’ve got that—this little [feeling] like, “Hi, God”- that feeling. And you’d take off his badge like that and hold it up right next to his face, make sure you got a really good look at it, and you’d flip it over and check the watermarks, check the number on it. And when I was on, I’d have a check-off list, and his name better be on there. In fact, our own commanding officer forgot to put his name on there and our guys wouldn’t let him in the post. He said, ”What do you mean?” They said, “You’re not on the list, sir.” [And he said], “Well, you know who I am. I’m Captain [James] Brannaman, your commanding officer.” [They] say, “Sir, we been instructed, if your name isn’t on the list, you don’t get on this post”. And the guys loved doing it to him. He wasn’t real happy but.
Interviewer: Oh, I’m sure. Who was this captain again?
Mackenzie: Captain Brannaman. He’s still alive. Stanford graduate. Super sharp guy. About six-five or so, something like that. Nice man.
Interviewer: I’m not well-versed in military things. Is it usual for an admiral to be on the ship?
Mackenzie: No. Now the admiral on any operation, the admiral has what he calls his flagship, and he can change his flag when he wants. The Curtiss was an unusual ship, Mary, because it was designed as a seaplane tender, 1939, something like that. It was hit at Pearl Harbor, went all the way through World War II, ended up with seven battle stars. Then after that, the Atomic Energy Commission grabbed it and then converted it for all the testing. So the Marine captain isn’t like a Navy captain. What’s confusing to everybody, and it was to me, too, the captain of the ship, the Navy ship, doesn’t have to be a captain. That’s his job title. OK, and now the Marine captain is a captain and he’s in charge of the Marines.
Interviewer: So this is the Marine captain you’re talking about.
Mackenzie: The Marine captain, right.
Interviewer: Got it. Not the captain of the ship.
Mackenzie: Not the ship captain—that’s right.

The full transcripts of the two interviews can be found here:
Interview with Robert William Mackenzie, January 1, 2005 UNLV Special Collections Portal

Interview with G. Nicholas Stuparich, Jr., October 18, 2006 UNLV Special Collections Portal
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2024.06.01 11:07 angerboda_55 AITA for cutting my best friend out of my life?

I (29F) and my best friend (30F) have been best friends for around 20yrs, we met in school and have always been close, she was MOH at my wedding, been on holidays together, she's also friends with my husband as we all went to school together.
We both have PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) and both have been struggling with fertility issues. It's something that we've supported each other with over the years. We've also both struggled with being overweight due to this diagnosis, however I was extremely overweight and I was always bigger than her. My doctor has been super supportive which is rare when it comes to women's health and about a year ago they gave me a stern warning to either lose weight or continue to struggle with the PCOS symptoms and potentially never conceive. This was a huge wake up call for me so I started my weight loss journey and I've successfully lost over 5st. I feel so much better in myself, more confidence, my symptoms have greatly reduced and my menstrual cycle is completely normal now. I've also joined the gym which is something I've been so insecure about for a long time, but I'm actually enjoying it and continuing to lose weight. My friend on the other hand is not doing so great, she's been given the same information from her doctor on weight loss but she's really struggling with it.
Over the past 6 months she's been slowly reducing contact with me. I'm always the one to message first and each time I message, the time it takes for her to reply gets significantly longer each time, to the point where she isn't replying to me for 3-4 days. Don't get me wrong I completely understand people can't reply immediately but she's always on her phone and has turned off her read receipts, which I find so strange. I've tried to meet up with her and also trying to encourage going for walks, swimming or for her to come to the gym with me as I know she struggles with motivation. However, she's started to make up excuses to not meet with me. I've asked her multiple times if everythings okay and she always says everything is fine. When I have been able to see her, the time in between gets longer so the weight loss is much more noticable, and she never says anything positive to me, it's always stuff like "don't lose too much weight, you won't look right" "you need to make sure you keep a healthy weight" "can't believe you're going to the gym" and just generally other negative comments.
I can't help but think she's jealous of the progress I've made. I don't want to think like that but that's the only thing I can think of, we've not had any arguments or cross words for the friendship to be dwindling like this. We've always supported each other through everything, almost like sisters. So I really wanted to speak to her face to face and find out why she's being so cold with me. I messaged her to ask if she'd like to meet up and she agreed, so I messaged her the day before asking time, place etc. but she didn't reply to me until late on the day we were meant to be meeting, with this bullshit excuse of how she was busy and read the message but forgot to reply. At this point I was so pissed off and was completely done. I sent a short message back saying it's fine and left it at that. She's made no attempt to contact me to rearrange and I haven't either.
My husband said I should just cut my losses and go no contact with her. But I really want to talk to her about this, I feel like I owe it to the friendship after so long and a big believer in constructive communication, but she also clearly doesn't care enough. So I'm at a point where I'm just going to cut her off and be done with it. AITA for stopping contact or should I try once more to sort this out?
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2024.06.01 11:01 KriekLambic45 Was I in the wrong to react this way?

Me (29F) has been seeing this guy (31) exclusively on my end for the past 6 months. We meshed very well together and people would look at us and think that we're the perfect couple. On paper, it made sense for both of us to be together in terms of career prospects and how we envision shared goals. Behind closed doors, he would tell me that he doesn't have romantic feelings for me nor does he love and he certainly, in no vague terms, does not see a relationship with me at all. Simultaneously, he would do many partner-like things: taking me out on dates, being intimate with me beyond just sex, comfort me for when I am feeling vulnerable, go out with me in-front of our mutual friends and be affectionate/PDA, send me updates and pictures of his family and what they did, etc. He also knew where I stand on him having sex with other people and that it would hurt me since I am emotionally invested in him. Not that I was expecting him to respect that, but at least to know that if that would happen, it would hurt me.
Recently, he came back from a 2-week vacation abroad, and while he was there, I made sure not to text/call him so that he wouldn't think I am needy. However, I was being treated as his travel log: he would text me dozens of pics and videos and what he ate and did, etc. on a day-to-day basis (He even got me a gift, with a text that said: "Thought of you when I stumbled across this neat little place and I got you something"). I also say travel-log because not even once did he ask to see how am I doing or even a simple, "how are you?" Meanwhile, I was truly missing him but also relieved that he's not around because it was driving me anxious and felt like my energy is drained by his lack of emotional reciprocity yet I am the one who has feelings for him and not the other way around.
Yesterday, he tells me all about his trip and how he slept with multiple women while he was there and suffice to say it destroyed me. I simply couldn't handle it. I told him that he lied to my face for when he asked me months ago of whether I would be ok with him sleeping with other people and I replied with a straight no but then he was ok with it and said, "I understand" and we closed that topic.
When I confronted him, he started to gaslight me, and tell me that, for him, sex is an act and people act this way the whole time. He even, no joke, said that I should be ok with it because the sex he had with those women was consensual sex (as if the opposite is fine!). What should I do? I am almost masochistic enough to wanting to know the whole details with those women i.e., what went down? What positions did they do toegther? How did he react with them? Did he even climax? etc. The way I see it, if a wound is slightly open, let it gush all out and be done with the pain and face it. But I know that that isn't healthy. I just simply cannot imagine that while he was sharing all his 'adventures' with me and updating me about his trip, he was also taking off someone else's underwear and going down on them. The duplicity of how people can act this way is truly unfathomable to me.
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2024.06.01 11:01 JillianWeathers 41 [F4F] Houston, TX I Want A Girlfriend

Long story less long 😝 I really miss having a more serious girlfriend. But I can’t really have a traditional monogamous relationship (nor would I want to) because I’m an OF model, and constantly hook up with other women (and potentially men, in the future) for content.
I’m a midwestern woman. Very live and let live politically. Pretty soft spoken but friendly. I have a degree related to fitness which is a passion of mine but not something I require of others.
I like to bake. Be outdoors. I’ll travel anywhere for pretty much any excuse 😆
I’m big into sports. Football the most. I watch a lot of movies. And feel just as comfortable at home cuddled on the couch or playing a board game as I do dressed up at a fancy restaurant on a Saturday night.
I don’t have any kids or pets. I don’t mind if others smoke or drink, but I rarely partake in either. And never cigarettes 🤮
If you’re a woman, who likes women, contact me. Include a picture of yourself in your message. I’d love to meet. And even if you’re not local, I do travel a lot, so who knows.
https://imgur.com/a/jcLJLHh
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2024.06.01 11:00 xterisx tips for talking to parents about getting an aid??

hi, this is my first time posting so sorry if its not formatted/written very well & also sorry if i rambled too much
TDLR: thinking of mobility aids bc of joint pain & fatigue/lightheadness, not currently seeing any docs or anything, unsure how to speak to parents about it????
im not currently diagnosed w/anything or regularly seeing any kind of doctomedical professional, ive seen the physio about my left knee twice [once in 2023 and once last week, housemaids knee, i think? keeps coming back. got given a sheet of exercises for it]
i am also on the waiting list to see a cardiologist bc i have symptoms that seem more or less consistent with POTS? [palpatitions & high heart rate standing up, lightheadedness, vision going out, tempreture issues, nausea, etc. not self diagnosing just using to help give a picture of it] but i dont even have an appointment date yet
i have had blood tests done as well as an ecg regarding that ^^^^ & all the results were normal
i also have some kind of joint pain/issues [worst in my ankles/wrists, and my left knee & right hip], as well as fatigue and minor-ish balance issues. all of my issues are like, inconsistent in severity
i have been thinking about getting a mobility aid of some sort for a while, but recently much more, as ive been hurting my knee more, like basically any time i walk more than mile [or even less, sometimes].
& also because i regularly get tired/lightheaded and have to sit down [and usually end up sitting on the ground]. i find standing largely uncomfortable, and it usually becomes painful within 10 minutes
i try to exercise but its difficult all considered [also have a circadian rythmn disorder so im not regularly awake in daylight hours :/] & i think a mobility aid could help me? especially bc i find myself leaning on things a lot
right now i use knee & ankle supports semi-regularly, which has helped a lot in reducing the pain/keeping it from getting worse. imo im being more active since getting them
i am [kind of irrationally, maybe?] very nervous about talking to my parents
they have largely been supportive in the past about accommodating me & letting me persue my interests. everyone picked up fingerspelling & a couple signs bc i sometimes dont/cant speak verbally, for example
though its only in the past year that ive realised im physically disabled [had all the symptoms before, just didnt realise it was wasnt everyones experience], i did a lot of that discovery thru having conversations with them about it, & i regularly talk thru stuff with them to help get an idea of which things i experience are considered abnormal/concerning
they seem to understand, at least, that i have a lot of trouble with doing things. my mother is the one who bought the knee brace for me. shes also an occupational therapist [stopped practicing after having kids but recently re-registered], so she knows more than the average person about this kinda thing
they are not always immediately great about things, but theyre willing to discuss and actually listen, so a lot of times its about how well i can articulate myself when i explain. their general attitude is that i should be able to make my own decisions, and that if it helps me then its worth at least discussing
i have previously suggested that ive thought about the subject, but not necessarily for myself [spoken about my friends disabilities and mobility aids & stuff]. i'm unsure of how to bring it up & anxious even tho the worst thing theyre likely be is kinda skeptical, in which case its pretty likely i would be able to talk them into it?
for reference the things im most drawn to personally are forearm crutches and those canes w/the seats? not sure if theyre called smthn specific. a lot of places we go have pretty rough floors/no paths so it seems most practical to me. im also currently a minor [turning 18 next year], if thats relevent at all.
i am willing/would kinda prefer? to see a medical professional about it and get suggestions of what would be best first, so thats not an issue [except for actually getting access to that, bc nhs waiting lists are ridiculously long and private is so expensive]
but again id need to talk abt it first to be able to have my parents arrange that for me [have selective/situational mutism so need someone with me on doctors visits]
idk. thoughts?? suggestions on how to bring all this up? thanks for reading in any case & once again sorry this ended up so long!!
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2024.06.01 10:57 BaseballSeveral1107 Every year, the same farce with pride month

Every year, the same farce:
The same corporations change their logos to rainbow colors
The same right-wingers get mad about it
The same left-wingers get mad at the right-wingers for getting mad
Everyone points out that it's all pure commercialism
It turns out that in countries where homosexuality is illegal, the corporations don't change their logos
The same memes will appear in July about everything returning to normal
Everything looks the same every year. Pride Month has lost any real meaning. It's just another commercial holiday about nothing. Perhaps there are people who are happy to change their profile pictures on Facebook or post colorful photos on Instagram. In reality, they can do that at any time, but if it makes them feel better as part of something bigger, then so be it.
Although, I don't know, maybe I'm just morphing into an old grump.
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