Big lots ceiling fans

I am just starting trying to figure out my bra size after breastfeeding and loosing weight. My measurements are as follows:
30.75, 29.75, 29 34, 36, 34
I was sized at 30E. When I was breastfeeding and had sized myself a couple of years ago, the estimate ended up being big in the cup, so I decided to try bras that were 30DD. I’m not sure if that was a good move or not.
I would describe my breasts as quite relaxed and soft (read saggy lol) bottom full, slightly center full, and wide set or splayed. I think I have short roots but I’m not positive.
I tried a few different styles of bra to see what would work well.
Natori Feathers 30DD
https://imgur.com/a/pfrGUis
I dont think this fit very well. The band felt good, but the cups were too small, I was gaping out the top a bit. I also had some space at the bottom that wasn’t filled by my breasts.
Panache Ana 30DD
https://imgur.com/a/70vau3k
I thought this one fit okay. The band felt good, and the gore tacks pretty well. I think the cups may be a tiny bit big? I’m not totally sure. I am not sure I love the shape it gives me. I feel like my breasts are poking out a lot. I am used to only wearing sports bras and bralettes though, so maybe that is what they are supposed to look like 😂
Skarlett Blue Minx 30DD
https://imgur.com/a/w8aMduc
I thought this one fit pretty well! The band feels good, and the gore tacks. I think the cups fit pretty well?
I would love any and all thoughts and advice! I am honestly not totally sure how a good bra should fit. Thanks so much!

I had my backyard redone back in 2017. We had a beautiful Japanese Maple put in that was thriving, but unfortunately died a couple years back. My hypothesis has been that it was the big heat wave back then and/or a conifer that's about 20-30 feet away and sucking up all its water (FWIW, the dirt in that zone was all fresh when we planted the tree but is now a crazy web of root system, thinking that's coming from the conifer). When it died it happened quickly in about 3 sections, but went from flourishing to fully dead in a matter of ~1 month.
Then nature gave us a gift in the abutting raised bed, where low-and-behold a new Japanese Maple sprouted from nowhere. I finally dug up the old dead tree this April and transplanted the new one (at hte time about 3 feet tall), but unfortunately it didn't make it.
So what's next. I'd love to get a maple planted there, but don't want to waste the $$ or growing months if I'm going to meet the same fate. My optimistic take is that the original just needed more water and the transplant was too exposed, and a new specimen bought from a nursery root ball and all will give us the best chance. What say you? And FWIW, this is in the NE corner of my lot, partial sun.

Hey all!
I'm a 22 year old guy, currently studying Computing (please don't ask me about all that, I'm not that smart LOL) and I tend to find myself spending a lot of time gaming or watching movies! For games, I have been pretty heavily invested in Dauntless, I don't plan on changing that much but am very interested in trying out new games (I am a PC gamer). Also recently started playing some WW3 and have been having fun just brainlessly shooting stuff haha. I do play some Overwatch here and there, but tend to only do so with people in Asia, because of ping lol. I watch Horror or Thriller movies, mainly because i have experienced some things in my life and I love to see what people can come up with in movies, in terms of paranormal experiences.
I am mainly looking for friend(s) who share similar interests and would like to get to know each other. Being somewhere in Asia is a big plus but not a requirement <3. Not really looking for just a chat, more of some one to get to know and have fun together as we do things we enjoy! Also, would like to only speak to people above 18.
Feel free to drop a message in a chat with something about yourself! Also, I'm looking for long-term friends, so please keep that in mind <3 Looking forward to hearing from you!

I need some advice bc idk if I’m being too pushy abt this.
So my bf and I have two kids and we been together for almost 4 years now and every time I bring up the topic of marriage or getting married he always tries to change the topic right away or just completely ignore me/ the question. When we do actually have a conversation abt it he always says that rings and wedding are too expensive and that he needs to save for it I’ve said I don’t need a big wedding or an expensive ring he can get me a ring from Walmart and I’d be happy with that and we can go to the court house but he says that getting married at the court house is trashy and a waste of money bc if we go to the court house and then later in the future have a wedding party he’d have to save money to do that and it just be a waste. So I’ve stopped bringing up the whole marriage topic earlier this year during Easter my nephew gave me a ring pop bc he wanted to share and as a joke I had said “At least someone gives me a ring” everyone laughed including him then he comes up to me almost whispering “you ain’t getting that ring anytime soon”. Since my sil is engaged he was asking his bil abt how much he spent of the ring he got and he did say it was pretty expensive later my bf starts telling me see rings are expensive which is why I don’t get you a ring and like I’ve said before I told him I don’t need an expensive ring. He starts telling me that my ex probably spent a lot on the ring he gave me (note I was engaged before while I was with ex until I found out he was cheating) my response was idk that was a long time ago.
Another note is that my bf is the one that bring this up abt how I was engaged before and that since my ex gave me a ring I was basically already married. Now I don’t bring up the topic of marriage anymore. In the beginning of the relationship I did talk to him abt how I want to be in a relationship to eventually get married and that I don’t want to wait years and years to get married and he was okay with that he says he wants to marry me but that he needs to save. Another thing to add I was reading a Reddit story that talked abt marriage but I don’t remember the story completely but while I told him abt the story he asks how come you don’t give me a ring why do I have to get you one I told him “oh I can get you a ring no problem” and he quickly replied saying “but you can’t use the money I send you or my money” I have money saved up so getting him a ring is no problem but whenever I start looking at rings he rushes me and basically drags me away to hurry up or he just walks away. So i don’t k ow if it’s just me and I’m being too pushy abt it I haven’t brought it up anymore but I need some advice on this.

Intro
Let's start simple. Science is a form of knowledge based on structured thinking. Structured thinking involves the use of mathematical structures. Hence, the fundamental/"heavy" Alpha scientists, which usually build this science (as well as those with strong logic, predominantly discrete one). That's why we have 4 (8) blood types, not 8 billion types. We have 7 colors in the rainbow (not 16,777,216). We have 4 main states of matter, not an infinite number. And so on.
When instead of following the scientific method and then applying structured science individually, science starts being built on "individual approaches" (that is, backwards), it turns into anti-science. An "individual approach" => irreproducibility of results => unverifiability => inherent unscientific nature.
I can't change everyone's opinion on this matter because, psycho-biologically, everyone is different (as stated in socionics), and this thinking may completely contradict a person's worldview. But I can call upon those interested in refined scientific (in the original meaning of this word from Tesla's time) socionics, broad but free from mysticism, as a powerful tool that many people can use in various forms (and will use much more in the future). Tool, which aims to bring clarity to psychological phenomena and enable individuals to make better decisions, especially regarding happiness, fulfillment, relationships.
Community
If Gulenko's school, his Humanitarian School, is considered the "Creative" subtype, then a "Creative-Dominant" (or simply "Dominant") community should emerge. This community would organize the chaos and filter out pseudoscientific thinking, setting higher standards for rationality, science, and intellect without overly regulating.
Such community formula is: Ti + Fe (+ Te). The position is that no single model, especially one not empirically validated, should be the sole limit. There should be two to three competing models, with one proving most effective. At the same time, the community should primarily emphasize rationality - rather than dogmatically following any model, it should filter what makes sense (keeping it) and what doesn't (rejecting it). This means more practical approach, and closer to the continuous one (until more clarity is there), which is essentially an advanced Big Five, the foundation of which was laid by Talanov and his students. This is the most scientific method until we can rely on more objective indicators, for example, individual hormonal balance, genome sequencing, fMRI data, brain structure, and others.
Diagnosing
Here's the framework for diagnostics: if a person is a beginner, they first take any test based on Talanov's work. There are only two such tests (excluding his own questionnaire) - sociotype.xyz and aimtoknow.com/test_beta. These tests are not tied to any particular model. What do the tests show? Imagine a continuous space defined by 15 independent axes (dichotomies) with no clear boundaries between them. Any combination of traits is possible. Diagnosis involves finding the closest reference point (standard sociotype). From the results, you can add more clarity and depth as desired (but already having clear contours) - for example, comparing them at different structural levels, such as markers, small groups, dichotomies, functions, and even images of types - from most fine and concrete to the most abstract, but still within the range of sanity. This "Result"/"Left-spin" approach prevents a newcomer from being overwhelmed by low-quality information, giving them clear outlines that they can further refine as needed.
How to take tests
Next, how to take the tests to avoid nonsense? First, answer all questions based not on wishful thinking but primarily on past objective experience. Another important point is to answer all questions based on your behavior in society, i.e., at a social distance where there is societal "pressure" on you. Even though the tests have become advanced and are likely to show more or less adequate results anyway, answering based on purely close-distance behavior (e.g., at home, or in a private setting with a friend, where anyone's behavior is naturally different) might spoil to some sort the results. Are you capable of exerting forceful pressure and standing out as a leader in a group of about 8 random people? Or is it limited to dominating in League of Legends? Will you be an outgoing extrovert in such a group, or is such behavior limited to a private setting, with the rest filled in by your strong imagination?
How xyz emerged / Background
Next, let's talk about the xyz test. To remind everyone of its background, I once came across socionics, which I saw as having huge potential. However, about 80% of it was outdated low-quality stuff, not far from astrology, with many parts already debunked by various schools. Yet, some people (still) blindly follow it under the argument, "It was better before. Ausra/Jung = true by default."
Then I found a test - aimtoknow. Unlike many others, it wasn't garbage, but it had (still has) many flaws. Firstly, it's over 7 years old (meaning many things have changed) and to some extent is impractical - I found it difficult to ask people to take this test in real life, retake it if there was an error, request them to send PDFs, and individually explain strange translations. Additionally, considering the dichotomy of Central/Peripheral there, which the test defined inaccurately, it confused my understanding of socionics' "Competition" for some time. The first three people I knew well, and myself, were classified as "Central" types, which led me to mistakenly think that "Competition" in socionics was solely about conscientiousness and lawful actions, which of course is far from true. Eventually, all four of us retook new tests (multiple times) and were consistently classified as "Peripheral" types.
I liked the approach and found out that it was built on Talanov's questionnaire. I contacted him, offering my help to modernize socionics - his Excel sheets were more accurate than that site but even more terrible in terms of accessibility, and I wanted to contribute to this field make it as accessible and transparent as the internet today, help to "digitilize" psychology. Perhaps I missed some ethical aspects, but we couldn't establish a connection (it was eventually established, but much later). So, I decided to reverse-engineer his work. This test was initially an open-source repository on GitHub with full access for contributions and viewing the test's internals. Even here on Reddit, we discussed the workings of these tests, and I also shared GitHub links in threads on it. But after hundreds of commits and no assistance, I decided to close the repository and continue solo. Because it would be unfair if I spent thousands of hours studying a topic and building an app, using my own infrastructure, and then someone else just presses a button and starts selling it all (on GitHub, you can just press one button and copy + become the owner of any public project especially if it doesn't have a license).
Differences of xyz from Talanov's questionnaire (and aimtoknow)
In xyz test, public data from Talanov's research is used to calculate profiles. Differences between the test and the original questionnaire:

1. Instead of 5 answer options, there's a dynamic scale (slider) with much finer granularity (x10+ more accurate answer representation), which wasn't possible to use in old testing methods (including the Big Five). Some people think this might somehow reduce accuracy, but in reality, it (significantly) increases it. Partly because of this, it allows for good results even with 100 (or even less) questions. Instead of black and white (yes/no), you have a choice among all the colors of the rainbow. However, for those who dislike sliders, regular +/- buttons can be used without any issues.
2. Questions that do not significantly contribute to the result are removed (primarily via users vote), increasing the effectiveness of each individual question. The test becomes more refined over time.
3. All questions have been translated by a native with minimal semantic loss.
4. Recently, all questions are filtered for differentiation quality (green slider), meaning questions answered very uniformly by all 16 sociotypes are filtered out (potentially increasing result accuracy).
5. No constraints: we can experiment freely, open to any ideas, collect statistics on any questions of interest, etc. Although such frequent iterations annoy many. !
6. Possible drawback: Questions for a particular testing session are chosen randomly, whereas in original questionnaire he selects them according to a particular methodology. However, in my experience, this not affects the outcome much.

LARPing
I strongly discourage these tests for those who engage in LARPing. They are difficult to cheat, and for those who understand these tests, you'll end up looking like a clown trying to fool everyone, thinking you're smarter than everyone else. And want to mention that I have tested hundreds of people using this test in real life, mostly adults, and the results are clear in most cases. This doesn't mean that they always have a clearly defined dominant type, but I can generally understand which type they deviate towards and in which parameters. Unlike some results in typology communities. I won't speculate on why this is, but I'll just state it. But If you genuinely received a poor result, here's what you can do: retest with a bit more questions and answer using only + and - (not slider), without skipping any. If you still get completely random types each time upon retaking the test, then it might not be worth trying this or other tests (or you might want to put it off for a year or two).
Other systems
Regarding other systems like DCNH, Enneagram, Psychosophy, etc.: DCNH is the most favored by me and undoubtedly adds a level to the system that likely reflects a more comprehensive structure of the psyche (+ tandem with the classical socionics framework). However, it also introduces more confusion and speculation into an already chaotic typological community, alienating most of the already small group interested in systematic psychology. Moreover, with a continuous approach, a lot of additional crutches become unnecessary, except maybe for a few nuances, like the distance in DCNH. But is it really important how much a person changes in a private setting, where we hardly see them and where, according to the same Model G, they cannot realize themselves in any way? Also, a big part of such private behavior can be inferred from more public ones (which is why psychoanalytic/romance groups and the like exist). Other typologies like Enneagram and Psychosophy (and MBTI) are interesting and somewhat beneficial for self-knowledge, but they have limits and, most importantly, no future, especially scientifically. Even if Dario Nardi enhances MBTI typing to high objectivity with emerging technologies, it would still be a Frankenstein with precise typing but no further conclusions, as it lacks structure and would have to reinvent socionics.
Community: Continuation - Alpha/Beta vs Gamma/Delta, Outro
Besides Alpha/Beta, who perceive the structural and systematic approach to psychology quite positively, Gamma/Delta might also find this approach relevant. Especially from such a perspective - statistics show that about 90% of people are mistyped. This isn't because they don't follow my ultimate understanding of socionics - but simply that any person you meet in typology community will change their type in a few years, and the probability of that is around 90%. What does this mean? In the moment, they will write you mountains of text explaining why they are right and you are not. And some time later they will change the core from which all their logic was built upon - besides wasting your time (and time is money, dear Gammas and Deltas), you receive in that case primary disinformation, sinking even further into chaos. Lose-lose situation 🚀🤝.
I would be glad if a win-win atmosphere prevailed more here and in the typology community in general. But if it's not possible to influence such an atmosphere there, a separate community also exists, which is quite easy to find on Telegram.
Note: Tx
Although I always welcome and want to interact with all types, and believe that learning socionics goes 10x faster if you interact with real representatives of each type (objectively defined), I am also very interested in the topic of maximum intelligence development in the digital era, the logical one, as well as logic synthesis and all development in this direction. Therefore, I would be even more pleased to gather LXX logical types, aka "health" small group "Constructors" 🤖 (LSE, LSI, LIE, LII) in one place.

I want friends! Hello I love How to Train your Dragon, Barbie and Disney/PixaDreamworks movies, K-Dramas, Anime. Lately ive been trying to go to the park more often and im currently learning Tai Chi. I think I'm an empathetic person but that's not for me to judge so up to you. I have Genetic Pancreatitis so that's made the last 8 years difficult but I had a surgery in March and It seems to have helped a lot and I've recovered well, I'm very 420 friendly and I'm a big girls girl. All people welcome but I believe all people should have equal rights regardless of age, sex, religion or background so you don't agree on one? Move along please. You do agree? Let's have an awesome time being flower children🌺🤩✌️

Hiloooo all, I'm Genesis! I'm 17 years old (18 in less than 2 weeks), nonbinary, autistic, and a furry. If that controversial amalgamation of social identities hasn't dissuaded you, read further, dear sojourner... I've graduated highschool!!! As the title suggests. My life since has radically changed already, I've moved houses (just into my mother's from my father's) and am working on building a new life in another state completely different than where I've spent the last nearly 18 years. I find myself kind of lonely here, and would love to make some new friends online!
Anyhow, more in terms of my interests, I love a lot of intellectual things. I'm very drawn into political theory right now, philosophy and psychology are also things I eventually want to get a better grasp on. I've been reading a lot of classic Marxist canon lately, I'm about to pick up Capital again after neglecting it to focus on the remainder of my school year. The intellectual scene is very much bogged down by holier-than-thou individuals who do a lot of arguing, polarizing, and little action or community work - as they like to think they're above the world. As a member of the world this irks me. So, inevitably, I want to use whatever I learn to engage with my community and promote meaningful political action - though for now my study hasn't amounted to much materially.
As for hobbies that allow me to step away from the chaos of the world and relax, I love a lot of things; from videogames, to television, to Dungeons & Dragons. I typically love RPGs when it comes to gaming, for now I'm balancing my time between Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology and In Stars And Time. In terms of television, I'm big into sci-fi right now (Bonus points if you're a Trekkie. Need someone to get me into that!), in particular Battlestar Galactica and Scavengers Reign have kept me hanging on every episode. And though D&D is the TTRPG im into - this summer I want to try and explore the tabletop scene more extensively, maybe Pathfinder or even Warhammer 40k.
If you feel we could bond, don't hesitate to drop a DM! Feel free to even stalk my profile a lil' if you want to uncover more deadly secrets about me. I do expect at least a basic introduction with important details (Though I'd love whatever more you have to say about yourself!), or I may ignore you. Looking forwards to chatting with y'all

Hiloooo all, I'm Genesis! I'm 17 years old (18 in less than 2 weeks), nonbinary, autistic, and a furry. If that controversial amalgamation of social identities hasn't dissuaded you, read further, dear sojourner... I've graduated highschool!!! As the title suggests. My life since has radically changed already, I've moved houses (just into my mother's from my father's) and am working on building a new life in another state completely different than where I've spent the last nearly 18 years. I find myself kind of lonely here, and would love to make some new friends online!
Anyhow, more in terms of my interests, I love a lot of intellectual things. I'm very drawn into political theory right now, philosophy and psychology are also things I eventually want to get a better grasp on. I've been reading a lot of classic Marxist canon lately, I'm about to pick up Capital again after neglecting it to focus on the remainder of my school year. The intellectual scene is very much bogged down by holier-than-thou individuals who do a lot of arguing, polarizing, and little action or community work - as they like to think they're above the world. As a member of the world this irks me. So, inevitably, I want to use whatever I learn to engage with my community and promote meaningful political action - though for now my study hasn't amounted to much materially.
As for hobbies that allow me to step away from the chaos of the world and relax, I love a lot of things; from videogames, to television, to Dungeons & Dragons. I typically love RPGs when it comes to gaming, for now I'm balancing my time between Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology and In Stars And Time. In terms of television, I'm big into sci-fi right now (Bonus points if you're a Trekkie. Need someone to get me into that!), in particular Battlestar Galactica and Scavengers Reign have kept me hanging on every episode. And though D&D is the TTRPG im into - this summer I want to try and explore the tabletop scene more extensively, maybe Pathfinder or even Warhammer 40k.
If you feel we could bond, don't hesitate to drop a DM! Feel free to even stalk my profile a lil' if you want to uncover more deadly secrets about me. I do expect at least a basic introduction with important details (Though I'd love whatever more you have to say about yourself!), or I may ignore you. Looking forwards to chatting with y'all

Not a homeowner but a renter. Can someone here tell me if my ceiling fans were installed many years ago incorrectly? This is the apartment I am in with mold that I am planning to move out soon. If you want to read this, you can click on my other thread that I created on this. I have 2 of these ceiling fans but just going to post the one in the room with the mold. I had noticed this crack in the ceiling or hole years ago when I moved in when the apartment was clean and had zero issues.
There is obviously mold in the ceiling as you notice due to what I mention previously. There is also mold on the walls that I tried to clean with vinegar but can't remove it. However, there is a hole like that in the ceiling. Is it because the people who installed it aren't good and just bad installers? It's been like this for many years before I moved into this apartment which I'm sure of. I even know of a neighbor that has ceiling fans and that is how it looks. A while back before the mold issues, when I had to get replacement ceiling fans, they did the installation and there was still that hole in the ceiling next to it. Any reason why they can't seal it up? A while back, the ceiling fan actually fell down but this was a while back. When I look at most apartments and houses, isn't the ceiling fan supposed to be installed where there is no broken ceiling or hole next to it?
Notice how there is a crack in the ceiling as well. Does anyone know the cause of it? My apartment has mold issues and there is no mold remediation company here. The only thing is someone tells me they know someone that can clean the mold with chemicals and machine and they charge 30 dollars which seem ridiculous as that doesn't seem right. I heard there might be ozone machine service here but not sure... would that work? What about scrubbing it with vinegar again and then one day later, use zinnser mold primer? Would that work? I am not sure if I can even buy that product here. But you still have to paint it? But back to the original topic on this, is my ceiling fans poorly installed? The other issue is I been noticing ants on the ceiling every single day and night. I have ants throughout my apartment but is it possible some are coming from the broken hole in the ceiling?
https://preview.redd.it/3p184vhj1n4d1.jpg?width=1512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f5afbe1dbde35230b72b64fd5f514e49ec7309d
https://preview.redd.it/qx1qgr9o1n4d1.jpg?width=2016&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb9d0a652f1d458704491c7a23f82f3fd376001d
https://preview.redd.it/5ez55tro1n4d1.jpg?width=2016&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47c0829e80223091b03b322b06c2c278abc2cd9b

Hiloooo all, I'm Genesis! I'm 17 years old (18 in less than 2 weeks), nonbinary, autistic, and a furry. If that controversial amalgamation of social identities hasn't dissuaded you, read further, dear sojourner... I've graduated highschool!!! As the title suggests. My life since has radically changed already, I've moved houses (just into my mother's from my father's) and am working on building a new life in another state completely different than where I've spent the last nearly 18 years. I find myself kind of lonely here, and would love to make some new friends online!
Anyhow, more in terms of my interests, I love a lot of intellectual things. I'm very drawn into political theory right now, philosophy and psychology are also things I eventually want to get a better grasp on. I've been reading a lot of classic Marxist canon lately, I'm about to pick up Capital again after neglecting it to focus on the remainder of my school year. The intellectual scene is very much bogged down by holier-than-thou individuals who do a lot of arguing, polarizing, and little action or community work - as they like to think they're above the world. As a member of the world this irks me. So, inevitably, I want to use whatever I learn to engage with my community and promote meaningful political action - though for now my study hasn't amounted to much materially.
As for hobbies that allow me to step away from the chaos of the world and relax, I love a lot of things; from videogames, to television, to Dungeons & Dragons. I typically love RPGs when it comes to gaming, for now I'm balancing my time between Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology and In Stars And Time. In terms of television, I'm big into sci-fi right now (Bonus points if you're a Trekkie. Need someone to get me into that!), in particular Battlestar Galactica and Scavengers Reign have kept me hanging on every episode. And though D&D is the TTRPG im into - this summer I want to try and explore the tabletop scene more extensively, maybe Pathfinder or even Warhammer 40k.
If you feel we could bond, don't hesitate to drop a DM! Feel free to even stalk my profile a lil' if you want to uncover more deadly secrets about me. I do expect at least a basic introduction with important details (Though I'd love whatever more you have to say about yourself!), or I may ignore you. Looking forwards to chatting with y'all

My son is 15 months old and he is doing pretty well overall developmentally. Hes already running, very strong, talks alot (baby babble) and can solve simple problems. But i notice other kids his age starting to play with blocks, big lego etc. Gently. My son only wants to destroy everything. No interest in putting 1 block on another or the big legos even though he can vlip them together. And then he sits on the ground and kicks all the toys around, like he does in a ball pit but with lego and blocks. I give him heaps of opportunities for physical play and get out a lot of energy and just hope that for a little portion of the day he can sit a gently explore the blocks etc. I know knocking things over is normal but its the only thing he wants to do. He delights in breaking any tower i start to create. I worry hes going to bully other kids and ruin their stuff. Do they grow out of this?

Hi, I'm an alcoholic who's publicly in denial. TL;DR at the bottom.
So I've been an alcoholic for years. I go in waves, not drinking for several months and feeling like I'm better, then drinking lightly and occasionally, then sneaking drinks every night or every other night to keep things going.
I've been with this sub for a long time, I know a lot of the tropes. I CAN go without drinks, but then I over-indulge at other times. I CAN moderate and have only a couple, but when no one is watching sometimes I have more than I should. I CAN control myself, but only when someone else is holding me accountable. Left to my own devices, I'm usually shot. I hide things from my family and my husband and friends. I drink more than I should, I drink more than I want to, I drink because it makes me feel a way that I can't replicate in sober life.
But then it comes down to the reality. It comes down to me sneaking alcohol into the house and drinking it without my partner knowing under the guise of "Well, if he asked, I would tell him I'm drinking, but if he doesn't ask then he doesn't need to know" or "drinking makes yard work and chores more fun, so it's not a big deal" or "I can drink a lot at family events because it's a special occasion and it doesn't cost me anything".
You name it, I've thought it. You think of it, I've used it as a validation. I'm so good at validating my own choices to myself. I'm so good at saying "you'll quit tomorrow" or "it's just a light buzz to get you through the day" or "normal people do this all the time."
I'm stuck. I'm scared. I'm so sure that I can handle myself that I often lose sight of the fact that I can't. I know hiding things from my husband is a red flag, yet I validate it every time by being like "he doesn't need to know everything about me, it's not a big deal." But it is. Hiding cans in the recycling, disguising drinks in an unmarked cup, never bringing up the fact that I've been drinking alone. All of it plagues me. But I can't stop. Maybe I can for a couple of days, maybe for a couple of weeks. Hell, I've gone months in the past. But I can't commit to it forever. I've always sucked at the forever. I feel like I'm missing out, I feel like people are judging me, I feel annoyed as fuck that I can't just be like other people and have a drink or two before calling it quits.
I'm pissed. I'm pissed that I am this way. I'm pissed that I know alcohol is horrendously awful for you and I still make excuses to drink it in excess. I'm pissed that I hide and drink in secret and then find a way to validate my actions. I'm pissed that I'm scared and embarrassed to tell my partner, not because he'll judge me, but because he'll understand that I can't drink and he'll help me enforce it. I don't want to be enforced, I want the option to drink. I want to know that I still can if I want to. I don't want the door closed entirely, and if I tell him, I know that door will be closed. I'm an addict that doesn't want to admit to anyone around them that they're an addict because those people will hold me accountable for my actions.
I don't know if I'm asking for advice (though I'll take it) so much as I'm just feeling so angry at myself that I needed to vocalize it somewhere. I hate that alcohol is so normalized in society that I look at this cancer-causing substance and think "Well it's fine because everyone else does it".
I'm so sick of me. I'm sick of the lies to myself and my loved ones telling me it's fine because it's just not. But I don't want to stop entirely. Maybe I do want to stop entirely in theory, but in practice, it's so hard and I don't want to feel left out. I'm just tired of and disappointed in myself. I want to do better, but starting is the hardest part, followed closely by continuing. I like the way alcohol takes away my anxiety and self-consciousness temporarily, but I'm almost always left feeling worse about myself and somehow that's never enough to make me stop.
Again, IDK if I'm asking for advice so much as understanding and comradery. I need to stop sneaking around and lying and pretending this isn't a problem when it is, but I'm fucking embarrassed and I'm annoyed at myself and I'm scared of other people holding me accountable. I feel like this community understands that more than anyone. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I know it was a lot. Stay strong, friends. At least some of us need to.
TL;DR: I'm an alcoholic that hides things from my loved ones and pretends I have my shit in check. I have a hard time committing to a forever alcohol ban because I feel like I'm missing out. I want to be a moderate drinker but I only can be for a couple of months. I hate myself and my ability to lie without flinching.

Hiloooo all, I'm Genesis! I'm 17 years old (18 in less than 2 weeks), nonbinary, autistic, and a furry. If that controversial amalgamation of social identities hasn't dissuaded you, read further, dear sojourner... I've graduated highschool!!! As the title suggests. My life since has radically changed already, I've moved houses (just into my mother's from my father's) and am working on building a new life in another state completely different than where I've spent the last nearly 18 years. I find myself kind of lonely here, and would love to make some new friends online!
Anyhow, more in terms of my interests, I love a lot of intellectual things. I'm very drawn into political theory right now, philosophy and psychology are also things I eventually want to get a better grasp on. I've been reading a lot of classic Marxist canon lately, I'm about to pick up Capital again after neglecting it to focus on the remainder of my school year. The intellectual scene is very much bogged down by holier-than-thou individuals who do a lot of arguing, polarizing, and little action or community work - as they like to think they're above the world. As a member of the world this irks me. So, inevitably, I want to use whatever I learn to engage with my community and promote meaningful political action - though for now my study hasn't amounted to much materially.
As for hobbies that allow me to step away from the chaos of the world and relax, I love a lot of things; from videogames, to television, to Dungeons & Dragons. I typically love RPGs when it comes to gaming, for now I'm balancing my time between Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology and In Stars And Time. In terms of television, I'm big into sci-fi right now (Bonus points if you're a Trekkie. Need someone to get me into that!), in particular Battlestar Galactica and Scavengers Reign have kept me hanging on every episode. And though D&D is the TTRPG im into - this summer I want to try and explore the tabletop scene more extensively, maybe Pathfinder or even Warhammer 40k.
If you feel we could bond, don't hesitate to drop a DM! Feel free to even stalk my profile a lil' if you want to uncover more deadly secrets about me. I do expect at least a basic introduction with important details (Though I'd love whatever more you have to say about yourself!), or I may ignore you. Looking forwards to chatting with y'all

Hi everyone thanks for reading this. I am a 27M ticketed sheetmetal worker in Canada, been in the trade for 7 years.
I initially took an HVAC/R course when I was 18, I was hired on as a delivery/shop guy with the incentive of being enrolled as an apprentice for a plumbing/hvac company.
Fast forward a year and not a clue in the world, I am now an excited tinbasher finally getting my hands on some tools…I joined the Union and decided to complete my apprenticeship in Sheetmetal as I already had thousands of hours in the trade and starting to make some decent money. Resi-towers, Slab duct,Residential wood frames, Commercial towers/Mechanical rooms,installing all types of fans/units including heat pumps. It has been a good journey but what now seems like a long detour lol.
Has anyone had a similar path or experienced the same dilemma switching to refrigeration?
I have held off of switching trades for the last 2 years since my ticket, due to finally making good money but I feel that is a reoccurring trap a lot of people fall under.
Diagnosing/repair and finding solutions to problems is what gets me going, and there is some of that in sheetmetal but for the most part that means hitting something with your hammer.
Thanks for reading again, anyone who has had similar experiences or made the switch into refrigeration, was it worth it? what were you doing before? How did your previous experience help you in the hvac/r field? Any advice is appreciated!
Cheers!

Tw: SA, ra**, ED
Throwaway for a start.
I’m kinda just done. My life has been shocking but not horrific. If you saw me you’d think I was from a stable family and from an outsiders point of view it looks like that. But it’s been rough for me for the last 3 years. Like especially rough. I’ve been falsely accused of r. I lost everything apart from my mum. I built this all back up for 2 years. This past year and a bit has been alright. But it all cumbled about 8 months ago when I found out my gf was cheating on me with one of my closer mates. He had done this before with my ex and he ended up getting with her (the ex that accused me of the most horrific thingsy possible). I think this is where shit really hit the fan for me. I felt this overwhelming sinking feeling in my heart as I slowly understood more and more of what was going on. Once I finally realised that she was leading me on and saying “Ofc we can get back together” whilst she was getting dicked down by my mate. This really just fucked me up I’ll be so honest. I went into an almost phsycotic state where I did some things I’m not proud of (no one was physically harmed however threats were made). I did end up getting detained by the police however the did not find any weapons on me. I think this is a genuine low point of my life and nothing has really gone up since then. I’m over my ex. However I’m not over the emotional stress she has caused. I have tried everything to fill the void of not being able to trust women anymore with everything you can think of. Sex, money, alcohol, drugs, hardcore drugs, music, ect. Nothing works anymore. It’s only a temporary high and eventually I end up where I am now. I have been sober (apart from special occasions) for probably 4 months now roughly. Nothing has changed. I’ve tried loving since this ex but it won’t work at all. I’m sort of in love with a girl at the moment and I know she loves me a lot. She’s willing to do anything to stay with me. This “trauma” (it’s not really trauma but iygwim) has really set me back mentally and shit. Like I want to be able to love again but I don’t get this sinking feeling anymore like I used to when something goes wrong. I just feel like everyone has left already so why am I worried. I have no social life and I can’t have any social life because one in every 15 people on my city have heard of me some how or another. I had an argument with my longest lasting friendship of 14 years because of him wanting to act all cool and knobhead like to impress a girl. I’m completely fucked. The only thing I have going for me is a college course(uk) which im struggling to meet properly because I need to take 7mg zopiclone just to get to sleep. I’m not 100% sure if im addicted to them yet as they are addicted tablets. The only thing that keeps my head level is smoking. It keep everything in line perfectly. Too excited, have a fag you don’t wanna get too exited because you know shit will end badly. Bit sad, have a fag makes you a bit happier doesn’t it. It’s just sad. I’ve been through too much myself to deserve anything that’s happened to me. I’ve had all these false accusations thrown at me actually done to me. The girl that accused me of r just flipped the story completely. Blamed her eating disorder on me when in actuality she gave me one as every time I ate she would poke at me and make fun of me calling me names. This is also the case with when I was 7, I don’t want to go into it too much but I was 7 years old being made to parade around a 13 year old boys bedroom (dads girlfriend at the times kid) being called all sorts of names. Even after all of this I have still given people my all and I think I’m finally coming to grips that maybe some people don’t deserve any of my time. And that is the vast majority of people. I just feel fed up with how my life has gone and I really don’t know what to do. I’m only 17 years old so I can’t move away to a different city just yet. Nor do I think I’ll be able to for another 3-4 years until I am financially stable. I feel trapped as someone I’m not and I can’t change it because people are unforgiving. I do wonder if suicide is best for me and I know it is. But I can’t leave my mum because she went through far too much for me to give up on her. This is probably the only reason why I didn’t commit 3 years ago. If it weren’t for my mum I woulda been gone. And it’s so temping to buy a bigger cc motorbike stick some fake plates on it and stage it as an accidental crash or something. However I don’t have the bike and I want to have a proper connection with at least something before I die. I do have a connection with my mum but her bf at the moment will not shut the fuck up about railing her. He will straight up tell me this in front of her, then continue to take the piss out of me for not having a massive penis and being bit chubby. Bear in mind we both (me and mums bf) get along completely fine and we both work trade so we can have a laugh. But this is constant. All the time. And my mums ex husband hated me since aged 6 so as soon as my little sister was born. She refuses to accept it but I was neglected and also rejected for the majority of my childhood. I’ve just never felt properly loved so I just go for anything that comes my way. Recently I’ve tried to choose something that is actually good for me and and I’ve found that however I feel like I’m too broken to actually love anymore. I just feel broken.

I'm trying to improve as a dm, and one of my players recently pointed out that one character keeps getting into a lot of solo stuff that forces the other players to sit out, sometimes multiple times a session.
Part of the problem is this character has clones (not Duplicates, but summonable allies that look like him) that allow him to be in two or three places at once.
This is a modern superhero setting, with a big focus on the interpersonal intrigue around secret identities and never quite knowing who your friends are under the mask (literally and figuratively).
My question is, what would you do about it? I wouldn't call him a problem player, but I need to balance his wants against the other two. The only solutions I can see are just to force them to stick together, or tell him he has to limit how much he does on his own (it's mostly just him doing social stuff), and both of those feel more like bandaids than solutions.
This isn't just a problem with him, I want to avoid swinging too far the other way, and my players agree it would be just as bad if someone else started taking up too much session time.
Thanks in advance, I really hope to hear from some more experienced gms.

Yo! First I want to say thank you for taking the time to read my post. I’m still searching for a few more people to talk to regularly, so I thought I’d try another shot to find some decent people. Also I’ve really been enjoying the new season of fortnite, and it would be great to find more people to play with! 😁
Anyways about me:
So a little bit about me. Im 25 M and I live in the US. I’m pretty chill and easy going for the most part. I love joking around a lot, so don’t take me seriously most times haha 😅. I like to think that I’m a good listener, or at least i try my best to be. I’m pretty decent at holding conversations too, I can talk about a wide variety of stuff, and I’m not opposed to even talking about more difficult topics, as long as it is civil. I’m go with the flow pretty much, and the energy I get from you I’ll give back in return.
I’m introverted and a homebody, my ideal way of relaxing is wrapped up in a blanket watching a good Netflix series 😌, or just kicking back with some friends playing some games.
I spend a lot of my free time gaming lately. I mostly play Apex whenever I game but I also own some other games too. I have both a PlayStation and a Switch and I’m open to suggestions if you ever had another game you wanted to try playing. Feel free to ask me what games I own btw.
I enjoy listening to music. I listen to a little bit of everything. I like watching tv shows and movies on Netflix, and I’m a huge anime fan! I have more nerdy hobbies overall 😅 and I really enjoy science related topics, i like learning in general tbh. I enjoy playing card and board games, domino’s, ect, and I’m semi decent in chess too. I was learning to speak French at one point but consistency is kinda my arch enemy in well….everything 💀. I like reading every now and then, and I love a good story. I love memes and funny/interesting videos, so definitely feel free to share memes whenever you find them, and I definitely will do the same.
Long term wise, I prefer to keep talking on discord after talking on Reddit for a bit. I also would like it if in the long term you’re comfortable with voice chats. I’m cool with just chatting, but long term it would be better if we could call every now and then. Also, it would be good if we could do virtual hangouts from time to time. Maybe play some games, vibe out to some music, watch some shows/movies/anime together. I’m open to suggestions as well, so if you ever had something you wanted to plan then I’m open to trying new stuff.
Hopefully something in my post appealed to you. If it did, don’t be shy, even if we don’t have the same hobbies it would still be nice to have more consistent friends to talk to. I can hold pretty decent convos, and can talk about a variety of stuff. So don’t be shy, feel free to say Hi! 😁👋

TL;DR - if there's a good doc or read on the history of the ska scene in the 90s, lemme have it! =)
So I drunkenly waltzed into a thread last night where I misunderstood the intention of celebrating a band, because the subject was like "every song sucks".
My bad, my mistake, and I never make a habit of having negative opinions in a thread where everyone is celebrating a band, etc. Such bad form. I got proper downvoted. =) Sorry about that.
BUT, it led to my own self doubt and recollection of what happened in the 1990s, and I am up for some proper schooling, or having the record set straight about what sort of led to a disruption of the ska scene by the mid to late 1990's...
And I want you to relate to me if the below is complete fiction, or it sounds about right with some caveats?
So my painfully short late 80s to mid 90s history here, as I remember it (and likely incorrectly):
I'm an old head (48) and resident DJ in the bay area, so I'm really on 1st wave roots, soul, rocksteady for my groove. When I went to Denver in the mid 90s for college, the scene was GREAT and we got a crush of touring bands in Denver, Fort Collins, or Boulder. Remember when visas weren't an issue and a 10 piece band could travel from anywhere in the world to the USA? lol Simpler times.
I loved East Bay Punk (that doc is so brilliant), living in and growing up in the SF Bay Area and scene. I was at Gilman, I loved Op Ivy, I understood the rise of ska-punk and wasn't a big fan of ska-core, and I don't even know if I could tell the difference now. I think "core" was more mod-hop goofy and boppy and playful with being nerds, versus a ska-punk ethos of still layering in thoughts and protest within tracks, lyrics? Would Suicide Machines fall closer to ska-punk than ska-core? Link-80 (you know the lead singer is a famous horror movie director now?)? Definitely Op Ivy)? I'm splitting hairs here.
So... early to mid-90s you had NYC Ska, and it was a small indie label that wasn't a super profitable machine, so it struggled for years with low money, no dough to reprint, etc, right? While NYC Moon Ska struggled with more traditional 3rd wave ska, the ska-core / pez-core thing heated up, and like an onrushing wave sort of obscured and mixed up everything... traditional music labels got greedy and exploitive, and I seem to remember the marketing of ska/core to be all over, appearing in car commercials, hocking products, etc. That might have been later in the 90s?
I seem to remember two stark versions of ska-core: "in scene" bands like MU330, Skankin' Pickle, Dancehall Crashers, Mustard Plug, maybe Voodoo Glow Skulls, along with Less than Jake coming from the punk side.
So this is where I am old and grumpy: Weren't there bands OUT OF EFFING NOWHERE like Goldfinger and especially Reel Big Fish?? It reminded me of how labels exploited the punk scene in the late 80s and early 90s, sort of hurting it.
So with ska-core bands like Reel Big Fish, I remember the latter coming onto the scene with a breakneck pace, and it made ZERO sense. Out of nowhere.... while most of the scene seemed to be struggling and winding down.
In fact, I personally have harbored a lot of grief for Reel Big Fish, because they're essentially the story of the Eagles in ska: labels take people desperate to be famous and just exploit a music community and crush it, closing the doors on many, many people who had been building community and grinding it out for a LONG TIME, only to leave the big egos making the money without self-awareness?
Is that at all remotely what happened? How wrong am I?
For some reason, I'll self-admit I am not sure how accurate it is. One thing that infuriated me was that Reel Big Fish was *BRAND NEW* and I think their second tour they called it their "final & last tour" (or something. I can't remember it perfectly, but it was all over their marketing / onesheets, etc). Was that just to cynically drum up business?
I am fine believing in things I think are true, but I rather not add to the cesspool of bullshit misinformation, so I am open to learning more, with that sweet lens of history.
TL;DR - if there's a good doc or read on the history of the ska scene in the 90s, lemme have it! =)

Why do I keep seeing them around? like the odds of that happening are crazy why do people keep talking about them unprovoked, why
I’ve never had butterflies (still don’t) but I start shaking every time I see them and I can’t even have them what even is this? At this big age? WHY WAS I HIDING IN THE GYM? They have this effect on a lot of people and don’t even know or do they?
This time? I decided to not initiate contact or stare, the only smart thing I’ve done so far seeing as they aren’t interested and I assume to like- omg this is ridiculous
Not real not real not real
Are they in my imagination because what?
Can the roles reverse so I can feel like a baddie please I want to avoid THEM because they like me

Heyhey~! I'm Ava! I'm a twenty year old transgender woman currently residing in Florida and I'm wholeheartedly just seeking that person for me~! I very much miss having that special person to take care of, adore, pamper, and all that cutesy stuff. Someone to just be able to be there every day and have it be the same. And if there's distance, that's okay~! Just as long as the endgoal is to be together, hehe~
Here's a little more about me, just to cut some small talk and we could just talk into things we're both into hopefully?
I mainly play video games! I love to play the usual competitive ones like Overwatch, League, Fortnite, Valorant, Apex, DBD, & more~! I'd really love someone to duo with and spend a lot of time with playing things together and as having a cute support gf is always something that's really cute to me lol. I'm also down to stream games to you! I'm really into PS2 horror games, JRPGs, Nintendo games, and more~!
I also love pop music as per the title lol. I've been a really big Billie Eillish kick and I've just got into Olivia Rodrigo after not getting the hype the first few years. Some other artists I tend to listen to are Ariana Grande, Lil Nas X, Justin Bieber, XG, Halsey, Sam Smith, & so much more~!
I enjoy anime/manga's and I'd really love someone to get me to watch things with them as I honestly don't find myself watching much nowadays~!
Other than that, I really love matching bio's, names, about me's on platforms and I'm very much wanting to let the world know who you are and how special you are to me~!
I don't ask for much, all I ask is for someone honest, loyal, and absolutely adorable~! If this interests you in anyway, just so I know you actually took the time to bother to read this, cause the "Hey" or "Hey there" can get super tiring to read, absolutely tell me about yourself, what we share in interests or wants, and not required but would absolutely get you more chances of a read, but a photo of yourself :) I'd love to get to know you~!

Here's what I've currently got. A Martin LX1E that I've had for years, not really worth selling. I've also got a SE PRS Silver Sky and a cheap Vox Adio Air GT amp.
I've owned a Collings, 2 Lowdens, a J45 and a few other guitars.. I grew up playing and continue to play my dads D16GT when I'm back home.
I've played a lot of guitars over the past while. A few J45s, a few Taylors, Dowina, Eastman and god knows what else. My favourite was a new ES335!
I do play electric, but I play John Mayer songs on the couch unplugged.
I'm trying to write more songs and get out there playing music - going to open mic nights, hoping to get out gigging etc.
I'd need to trade in the PRS for the ES335, I just don't know if I should get an acoustic - that's what those guys play, there's a reason singer songwriters lean towards acoustic - an electric guitar unless doesn't really work strumming cowboy chords the same way a beat up acoustic does.
But I also live with housemates, so the semi hollowbody could be nice. But I've also already got the PRS so that just seems like an excuse to buy a new (really expensive) guitar.
I have an acoustic, it's just a bit shit, but I'd probably keep it for busking or what not.
I also sort of like tuning down the guitar, James Bay style and hammering on it. So that puts me off shorter scale. Even though the guitar I arguably miss the most is my old J45.
I just don't know..
I like my dads Martin, I'm a big Isbell fan - maybe a D18?
But I really liked that ES335..