Nevermo agnostic here. So I’ve read about how tough it can be to go on a mission. Having to pay monthly expenses, missing family, and possibly being pretty flat broke. It’s dangerous to talk to strangers, and can be isolating.I live in a nice area on the west coast so these kids already have it relatively good. But my friend had some missionaries visit so I told her to give them my number. Here’s my question:
1) When they stop by, what would be the most helpful thing to offer them? Hot meal? Just telling them there is a single safe human in the area they can call if they ever need help? A good pair of walking shoes? A particular dish they might miss from home? I read about funeral potatoes but don’t know if those are only for funerals. They sound great.
2) Is it a terrible waste of their time if I don’t convert? I won’t. For sure. But like…if we hang out and talk and I feed and water them and say kind things, is that worth it for them? I know they are under pressure and don’t want to make things worse for them by hogging their time if they need to hit a Jesus quota.
3) Anything else I should know? My plan is not to try to change their minds about anything, I’m not a reverse missionary. But… is there anything that you wish someone had said to you? I do enjoy talking philosophy and spirituality. Is sitting around asking questions about the nature of god rude or is it the whole point?
P.s This community is a group of incredibly kind and very brave people. I love reading your stories because you inspire me to maintain my integrity, teach me about new ways of thinking, and role model supportive language in a way that I find to be really helpful. And it takes someone who is smart and determined to be willing to question what they have been taught. Lurking here is a little respite from a strange time. When corporations and the news and leadership tries to gaslight everyone in the country, you are all here examining power structures in a way that can only make things better. You guys have a lot to be proud of. Thanks for the help.

"What should I wear on a date?" comes up a lot. Most people will tell you to wear what makes you feel good. "Do not try to dress in a way that you think your date will like." Someone who looks good in their own clothes and in their own skin is the most beautiful person in the world. The situation is also important. What kind of person are you, and what kind of date do you have planned? Are you a freshman in high school or did you just finish college? Are you meeting for coffee during the day or going to a dive bar? You should think about these things. So, what are some of your favorite outfits for dates? You can add your own background or even pictures. I want to know what you think!

My GF of 2+ years has been acting off lately. Trying to find out I snooped on her phone. I know it's wrong.
I found her texting her friend about her meeting a lot of hot guys around lately and that she wants to fuck them and regretting being in a relationship. The messages are jokey, more like "eheh look at what I'm missing" then "I need to do something I want to fuck them". But still she's having those thoughts. She even said one asked her number, she didn't give it but took his.
Right now I'm completely numbed; I don't feel anything and a sort of flat rationality kicked in. I know that ambivalence is part of human nature, one can value his relationship and still not being indifferent to other people's actractivness. I do that too, if I meet a hot girl some primordial part of my brain tells me... unethical things... but I always chose not to listen to this part of the brain, and I'd never imagined texting my friends saying stuff like that, not even as a joke.
I also think this does not directly threath our relationship, meaning I think she still values it and won't cheat or anything, I think she was just being silly with her friend. But it still feels really wrong, and something tells me I need to run from all of this.
So I guess my question is mostly for the ladies but for the guys too, do you happen to joke like that with your friends without actually mean it? I personally doubt it but idk I'll listen to what you have to say.

I need some help. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and love being close and having sex. I asked him not long ago if he could be more forceful in the bedroom, but he said that's not his style. I'm sure I saw him more dominant when we first started going out together. At the very least, he would start to control but then lose interest. Besides kinks, I've also told him about some dominant ones, but he either avoids them or does them once and never again. I don't mind being in charge, but he seems to avoid that too. I can't treat him badly. He keeps telling me the same few things when I ask him what he likes. It's not about being insecure about your looks—he's 5'11" and about 190 pounds, while I'm 5'4" I act like a brat and push him, but it doesn't work. It turns me on just to think about being controlled, so I know I'd fold right away if he did it. Should I just turn up how bossy I am around him? Should I just drop it? Should I even worry about this? Please help a girl. In short, my boyfriend is submissive (but not overtly so), and I like being strong, but I'd also like to be dominated.

Good morning from England!
To preface I write this as a 30F, no spring chicken and very recently gave myself a huge confidence boost discovering this label. Also this post will be rather ramble-y, sorry!
This post is a description of my own experiences growing up, feeling alienated and unable to talk about my own dating experiences for fear of the same responses I have been given time and time again. I wanted to write something out, because if this resonates with even a single person and helps them feel a little more "normal" then I feel it's done its job.
Firstly, you AREN'T weird, your dating style and relationship style is VALID. Maybe, like me, this is the first time you've thought this in your whole dating life.
I know this may sound basic, but this is exactly how I felt stumbling onto the "demi" term. A sudden switch in my mind has been flipped and I realize I can stop pretending that "the next guy" will be the one I want to suddenly hold hands with, or kiss, or jump into bed with. That I just haven't found someone that has the perfect look or vibe for me to want to dive on. That my fear after the third date if I am not physical with them it just wasn't meant to be and I should either force it and see, or drop it there and then. That flirting is the biggest turn off for me and that's ok! No-one else I spoke could understand why and thought it was cute, so I just stopped talking about it. My friends constantly would advise me to just keep pushing. That I was just too picky. That I need to just settle already and give guys a chance. I love them but lord, it felt so tiring.
So lets go back, throughout the years. I was brought up in a small town. A lot of close minded people, labels weren't a thing. Hell, we had never heard of autism, or spectrums, it was just "weird." Me and my friends all had a typical upbringing, one day you'll get married and buy a house and have kids. Thats the way of the world! (Not for me, never wanted kids and still don't!)
I have had... a handful of relationships. Always with people I knew beforehand over time. I would gain a crush, we would become a thing, and as soon as things got more physical I would be very suddenly repulsed by them and end it. I knew this was toxic behaviour and hated myself for it but just could NOT get past that boundary. Even when I forced myself past those boundaries, it was never enjoyable. I was never comfortable. Albeit this is also all before I turned about 25? before pandemic years, I was an overweight, unconfident gamer girl. You won't believe how many times my family (and I) have joked about sending me off to First Dates because I've really just never been interested much in finding a partner.
Friends would discuss their crushes, who they thought was hot, who they'd bang. For me, if I could name celebrities.. it was always a character they played, not them themselves. It was book characters or game characters who we had time to watch develop their personality - of course I'd never admit most of my crushes were fictional. Even now, as a 30 year old, friends will show me pictures of band members or celebs or men they think I would be good dating.. and I'd always shy away. Or think, yeah, they're technically attractive? I am not attracted myself... how can I be? I don't know these people. I don't get the sentiment of them being "hot" even if topless or posed. But I'd just nod and agree because I guess yeah, they're techincally good looking.
I pondered the idea if I was asexual, but I always knew that didn't fit.
I found major confidence moving to the city. Meeting friends who are confident in themselves, who don't judge but listen. I lost a tonne of weight, got a job I love, was very happy and had plenty going on. But still I wanted to date. But every time I tried it was disastrous, tedious and exhausting.
Online dating: I will swipe on 99.9 percent of guys, and swipe right on the VERY few that I could see were happy. I didn't swiped because"damn they're hot" but I'd think "yeah, they look like they take care of themselves and are happy, nice dress sense. Not dead in the eyes. Have friends and go outside." but on top of that their profile HAD to resonate with me. Then we would meet and I'd usually come away not wanting to see them again, always expecting that you need the date to feel atleast positive at the end. But I just... never had that. They were fine. They were meh. I could never see them again and it's no skin off my back. Everyone would tell me "you just need to give them more time" which is technically true. But the thought of "three dates and you'll absolutely know" always plagued my mind. After the first to date they'd become flirty. I'd say I need to take it slow, but usually the cute emojiis, the hand holding on the second date and pressure to be more physical would all be too much and I'd just shut it down. I hated that I felt like this every damn time.
Now, I realise, I have a label that resonates and people who are the same minded! I think. I have no idea how much this'll actually help going forward, but it makes it a lot easier to communicate that I need FRIENDSHIP first. I need time, and if they can't handle that then there's no point trying. I'd rather remain single for my days than be with someone who doesn't understand.
And guess what I now tell myself? that's ok! You don't need to feel wrong anymore. Like I will suddenly become attracted when the right person comes along. Like you just need to force through or take up that random guys offer that flirted on the street. Like I need to be flattered when someone compliments me.
I can make it about getting to know eachother. It's more about time, boundaries, communication and patience. A deep dive into knowing eachother before snuggling up.
I find myself more excited knowing I now don't have to rush, and can spend time taking it easy. Maybe go to more meetups rather than dating apps, and just keep enjoying life.
I can say I recently moved to a smaller town again thinking maybe I just need to find somewhere to settle. But being back here makes me feel like I have regressed back and I once again have itchy feet to move back to a city. However it has also caused me to do more soul searching, eventually discovering this term and suddenly, for the first time in 15-ish years.. I feel comfortable with myself. Like finding the last missing piece to the jigsaw of my brain.
Stay safe and happy, beautiful people :) My ramble is over, but if you did read it, thanks for reading!

Hey people,
Please note that this is not a call to consume alcohol or to trivialize it.
But I am very interested in your experiences with sensoric perception and alcohol. Since I know, that I am autistic (late diagnosed), I focus more on myself in stressy enviroments and the factors, that make it worse or better.
It is often described, that autistic brains cannot filter sounds for priority and perceive everything at the same volume. For me, it is exactly like this, which makes it very confusing existing in louder enviroments, like clubs or bars.
Now I noticed, that alcohol forms like a sensory tunnel for me, which makes it way less exhausting to exist and function in those situation. It is like my brain can filter the noises and focus on just ONE thing, like I think a NT brain would do e.g. in a group conversation. As well as that, my brain seems to work much more efficient, e.g. I am currently learning to speak spanish, but I struggle with understanding foreign spanish speakers, cause they talk very fast. After consuming alcohol, I had no problems at all, understanding spanish conversations correctly, which not worked a few hours before, sober. Same things with English.
I am very excited about these findings and interested in the working mechanism of alcohol in Autistic/ADHD people. Furthermore it would be not very healthy to „study“ this effect only on my own 🌝 /s
So, tell me, what are your experiences? Have you noticed similiar?

There is this empty feeling growing day by day in me. Not because something is happening with me bad but it's just that i don't have enough problems in my life to work for. Basically, my life is super chill. Everything i ever dreamt of(realistically )is slowing turning into reality except a house of my own.
Germany gaira chu in 1 year with full funded scholarship, , going to gym, have a lovi newari best friend whom i can count on, sex life is ramailo eating whatever i can without worrying about money, kapda jutta mahinkai kinira hunchu,got cute girl, can go anywhere on my scooty, occasionally club ni gaira hunxu, i have a cute small family and possibly a cat will soon be adopted, snakes haru ni xan thikai, i mean college friends. Lol. Dindinai kahi nai kahi gaira nai hunxu. Today will go to satsang in art of living. Bau lai blackmail garera thailand trip janxu (obviously , i won a scholarship so he has to agree) ani mom lai emotional parera iphone kina lagaudaixu.(Win win )Bhaktapur ma Ghar ma xa. .. outside valley. duita ghar cha (rent). Car driving sikhira xu. Car chahi xaina oeee lol. But who wants to drive car in ktm ko batoma? Also relatives haru sanga kura mildaina nata cousins haru sanga lol. Omg lol dui hapta ma function cha, they will probably be there lol. Bitches.Overall vanda ramailo nai cha life.
I want to try skating though. Someday. Also I want to go Everest base camp. Gosaikunda ni janxu ani langtang ni.
Etna v perfect life nhi hona tha😭😭. Aba kya k Bareme tension lu. Abroad jane tension thiyo aba tyo ni xaina. Khushi Pani kati hunu houuuu. Pagal vaira xu sochda sochdai.
Thul thulo sapna ni xaina mero because i don't dream unrealistic things. Job ta testo ho. Tyo banda baru bau kai pasal ma basyo vane dinkai 2-3000 paucu. Lol. Well, i have tried my hands at job too yeah but unrelated kam garnu vanda ta moj garera basni ni.

When I remember our last utterances in the dark it makes me feel sick
When you talked about putting your lips on my dick
And I quivered in your arms and said I was scared
And you said, “me to, but there is a carnal desire between me and you”
I say not yet, but yes, maybe soon,
And told you bout my scars up my body, to the moon.
Talkin bout a garden and it’s wilted little rose,
And how much it means take off all it’s clothes
And you got outta bed and smoked up your lungs
I mean you gotta sleep somehow, after I ruined your fun.
And we tossed and we turned every hour of the night
Dreaming and screaming of our future in sight.
And I sat in your silence upon mornings’ light.
A difference in your gaze so stark yet slight.
I see it all now you were considering the sever,
Didn’t tell me last night it was “now or never”
And I drove home, in a haze, crying your name
Searching and scanning for a reason to blame
And I saw it even then you're slipping away
And I tell you what I thought about that whole fucking day
To avoid the immanence, I'll hand you my innocence,
Scraping and screeching scared of the dissonance,
You should have seen my sulking belligerence,
When violent silence told me it’s too late anyways.
So I sit in the dark, this time alone,
Yet you’re still running through me, from blood to bone.
And with liquored lips I mutter your name
Stricking matches, everytime I feel this pain
Just to prove without you, there is such a thing as a flame.

If someone was saying this to me, I would say 'absolutely, they have feelings for you'. But when it's your own situation, it's bloody hard to know!
Anyway, long story short, someone who has admitted to having feelings for me in the past (who has since said that we are just friends now) is still behaving in a way that confuses me. They will seek me out and stand next to me whenever they see me and we will chat for ages. They stare, a lot. Very intense staring. I have difficulty meeting their gaze because it's a bit overwhelming for me. They have admitted to consistently 'perving' on me and will laugh if I bring it up. This has been going on for about 10 months. When we stand next to each other, it's very close, almost touching. But they have only ever touched me once in the year we have known each other.
I'm very confused by the mixed signals I am receiving. At some points it seems like a lust type situation, but the way the always stare, it isn't a physical thing. I'm not sure how to explain it, except there seems to be a lot that we don't say to each other in these looks? They freely admit to wanting to talk to me and see me.
I am super lost.

Hello :)
I'm pretty new to my OCD diagnosis, so still doing a lot of learning.
I recently learned about SO-OCD in my therapy group and it really blew my mind, it's definitely something I've dealt with.
I'm wondering if there are any other relationship-related types of OCD or common themes.
For me a really troubling thing is constantly questioning if I should or shouldn't be in a relationship with my partner (I've had this with every partner I've ever had, serious or not). It definitely feels like it's to an OCD level, but I can't really tell.
It's really stressful for me because I can't tell if I should listen to it and trust my 'instincts' or if I should use my OCD coping strategies to try and calm my mind. I have a lot of fears around being able to take care of myself, which has been exacerbated by a past abusive relationship, so it's hard for me to see clearly here.
I'd love to learn about your experiences with OCD and relationships, and learn if there are any types of OCD (similar to SO-OCD) that might fit here.
Thank you!

im 18 she is 20 we only talked for about 4 months, not really long tbh but she was literally my first everything, from my first kiss to losing my virginity I even helped her move in her first home together, she did have a 1 year old baby already so the situation lowkey wasn’t for me but I also didn’t want to judge and let her having a kid stop me from talking to her, which it didn’t we ended up being together for a while. Anyways she ended up breaking up with me, at first she was saying I was too young and she carried me way too fast she already has a kid and it’s just a lot which is totally understandable, she also said that she thinks I’m a good person and that she isn’t mad at me and for me to find someone my age and move on. It was very difficult for me to process that even today, she also said I should have told her I was a virgin because she knows it can be difficult to move on from something like that, she says it wasn’t fair to both of us but really not fair to me, honestly she is right but in the moment I thought I was ready and me telling her I was a virgin probably would have blew my chance tbh, but things almost seem worse now I feel so attached it’s insane,
It’s been 3 months since we broke up and I’m hurting so much without her, I miss her so much I feel so lonely ts isn’t right man, I don’t want to get over her and lose the attachment that’s how bad it is, she was everything to me, I’ve tried being with sb else and it does help until they aren’t there anymore, when it’s all said n done and Im alone I find my self missing her deeply and feeling so lonely it hurts man
We also went through a miscarriage together, the same time I lost my virginity, she wasn’t even gonna tell me about it until her mom said that she should, we went through a lot during that situation and looking back I was so immature and not ready, she was right. Even after all that we got back tg, it’s really a lot man, it’s a lot to process for me even months after
Overtime it just didn’t work out and it really kills me , we ended on such bad terms, she was saying things like “I feel bad for taking your virginity cause someone else should’ve taken it that actually wants to be with you” shit like “I’ve been still fucking my ex” she also said I didn’t fuck her good enough and I wasn’t good for anything else.. honestly she prolly was jus telling the truth and was fed up
I still remember a caring and loving side of this person, I forgive her despite all the things she said. Getting back tg isn’t realistic and even then things might not ever be the same how they were, it really hurts man it KILLS me inside 💔💔💔
I can say Before she said those hurtful things she asked me to send her money or she would block me, I told her to get a job.. maybe that’s why she said those things but like I said tbh it sounded like she was jus saying the truth
As much as I don’t want to and I hate to admit it, eventually I’m going to have to get over her and lose my attachment, I feel so connected to her especially since I lost my virginity to her it jus makes the feelings stronger, it’s been incredibly painful since she’s left.
I understand she’s been in other serious relationships and she’s already felt those feelings before, it still hurts so much man it really felt like we had something special fr,
I acknowledge her responsibilities and feelings especially as a mother , it can be a lot of stress and I respect her decision and boundaries, I wish her the best
I come to Reddit because idk what else to do I’ve been crying so much and going though my emotions even tho but it’s been so long it feels like yesterday, I don’t see myself without her and when I do I start to panic ts is a different typa pain, my heart is breaking
I been tryna work on myself and workout but still find myself grieving What should I do ? I really am lost💔

This Is my first ever reddit post, and maybe my only one. I 25/M and my Girlfriend 24/F have been together for 6 years and living together for about 3 or 4. At thr beginning it was tough hut we managed to keep it pretty ok. At the end of 2019 she decided to go to college and get a Degree, and I supported her as best as I could. She even got a part time job and helped out with the finances, I handling most of them. After a year or two there's been a steady decline in my metal health due to my previous job being overly toxic and physically challenging, I wasn't sleeping right, we were told we were the best team and then not a day later that our boss wanted to fire us all and just replace us, this was a constant occurance. My mental health decline and I started stress therapy and such, with my girlfriends help. That started around 2020, and we were happy. Soon not long after she got the part time job, my girlfriend quit it due to the toxic environment there, it was pretty much a waitressing job and they paid her minimum tip wage. I was ok with it, as she was having anxiety attacks and such about it. I would do my best from here to support her, and she decided she would focus on school more and I again was ok with it, I was making enough money and finances were not a big issue in the house, and when she got her refunds from school she would help out here and there. Afterwards, I started noticing that we were both slacking in chores at home and we needed to keep the place clean so our Landlord, who has been a very kind woman, but a little strict on cleanliness, would not evict us, even though she hasn't done an inspection herself since the very beginning. I talk to my girlfriend and we tried to work out how to get stuff done, and let me preface this that by no means did I want her to do all the work, but she was home more and I asked if she could atleaat handle the dishes and I handle pickup up any trash around the house. And this worked for about a month. I still ended up doing the dishes here and there, but I then began to do them more frequently. To avoid doing dishes though, she would want to purchase plastic ware, which is fine and ever now and then we did but dishes still would begin to pile up. We'll because of my decline mental health I began to slack, and it came to a head last year in 2023, when I had such a bad panic attack, that I thought I was having a heart attack, I had chest pains for 4 hours and had to go to the hospital. I was fine and only spent 3 hours there. I had thoughts of suicide and many other mental problems and I couldn't take the job anymore. I was searching and searching and thanks to a friend I got a much better job with pay and better benefits. I even started seeing a psychiatrist and started back on ADHD medication, and all this time I had the support of my girlfriend but at home... nothing would get done. When I got home, she would usually be on the couch, on TikTok or Facebook. I started having to do more and more stuff at home while also working, and if I asked her "Hey can you handle these few things for the house while I'm at work since your home with no classes today?" I would come home to her still being on the couch, and if I sighed and let it be and I started doing the chore I had asked her to do, she would get upset with me. She kept telling me that she doesn't know why she doesn't do anything, how she has bad anxiety, and it is bad, how she's depressed and she can't afford to go to her therapist, and I've offered to pay for her stuff when I can but she doesn't make an appointment. I try my best to endure and let her rest, I tried talking to her, and yes we have had fights aswell, because I feel at this point and time that I'm the only one doing anything to take care of the house, and when I talk to her about it she apologizes constantly and says she will do better, and then I end up feeling like a huge asshole if we had fought, and it wouldn't do anything, she would be back on her phone the next day, and sometimes when I got home she would be just starting the chore... and then give up 30 mins in having to always take a break and never finish. Don't get me wrong, there were times when she did complete the chore, or she did a good bit and I would take over to be fair to her. It's not that I want her to do everything, I have my problems, I leave stuff out to, and wait last minute to clean up my trash, but I atleast clean it up. She will eat and then leave a dish where it was until I got home the next day and picked it up to put into the dishes myself. When I come home she's always just there on the couch, and she would procratsinate doing her homework too. An example would be she would wait until the night it's due, panic around 8pm, it being due either tomorrow morning or at 11:59 that night. I would calm her, but in my stupidity after multiple times, I have chastised her about constantly doing this to herself. Well she graduated Cum Laude recently, so she did good enough and kept her grades up. And now we come to recently. Starting in the beginning of May 2024, I woke up one morning to feel, indifferent. I didnt feel anything. And I knew it was a depression episode. That same week she graduated and I bought a second vehicle, which we are having seperate issues with the previous owner about, kinda as a gift but also because she had been telling me she feels trapped due to her not having a vehicle and having to rely on people for rides, mainly her dad, a completely different problem, not a bad guy, but not the best guy either. I didn't want her to feel trapped. We bought the vehicle and right now we can't really drive it due to needing to get the title so we can get the tag. And whenever I get a call from the previous owner or find out a single thing about the jeep she starts panicking, freaking out and I would calm her but... I also wouldn't sometimes because most of the time the problem is very trivial, like we found out there was a lien, but the lien was from when the previous owner had bought the jeep from a friend, so it was a personal lean and she had proof she had paid it off and just never had the title fixed. But during this time, my depression got worse, and worse, and worse. When I would come home, I couldn't feel anything. There was one day on my way home that as I was driving in silence, my eyes began to slowly close, like I was a little sleepy but I wasn't trying to sleep, I guess my best explanation would be Road Hynosis, which is where the constant driving of a road and the focusing on it can cause delirium, unattentiveness, and almost block out your senses, it's a strange phenomenon that I only experienced this one time. I pulled onto my road way too fast and thankfully was okay, it shook me out of it. But I got home and I felt nothing still. I felt a pit in me just there. I don't believe it was my meds, though they can cause depression, but this feeling started before I had taken my meds on the first day. Well my gf graduated Saturday, we had a party and I faked a lot of smiling because I wanted her to be happy, and her dad ended up ruining that day, that's another story. After that day she was very adamant on wanting to get the jeep ready and I did my best to do so. I got insurance and out her on mine. But we still are waiting for the title. We now come to recent events. After the first week of the Depression episode, I did feel better and by the end of the work day on a Friday I was pumped up. I was happy, and probably a little crazy but it was great to feel something again, and my job was what made me feel better. I went home and the weekend went by, my mom had come by tl help us clean the house. We did pretty ok. But after that weekend the depression returned and hit worse. I started not eating as much, and I started feeling like nothing mattered anymore, and as I write this the, the suicidal thoughts started back again a day ago, and I told my girlfriend about it the first time. But the house has come undone again, and I am still trying to keep it maintained, but all I want to do is climb in bed and sometimes hope I don't wake up, I think it's thr house, I am usually fine at work. Well my girlfriend still hasn't changed since ahe graduated and she is looking for a job but... only in her area of her degree, which is fine, I want her to succeed but... I asked her to try to get another job in the meantime while she waits for those others to respond. She was upset with me, believing she it would be a waste of her degree, and I told her it wouldn't be if it's temporary to just help is get by, because my job has a wierd pay schedule and it would help us better than care of the house, maybe higher an Exterminator to fumigate the house. She did relent a little and did broaden her search and that made me feel a little more at ease. And I did ask her to try to take care of the house a little since she would be home, and still nothing gets done. My question I guess to boil this down is, is this relationship worth saving, or tryung to salvage, I asked some people and most opinions have been that my girlfriend needs to grow up, but that's not the right mentality for someone with her anxiety problems. I just don't know what I can do anymore, I feel trapped, I'm writing this at 3am in the morning because I feel terrible and don't know where to start. I have tried talking to her, begging her, to please be better and she doesn't change. I can't handle everything at home anymore, especially now that I'm back in the heat of summer in a warehouse. My trucks water pump just went out, so I used the jeep for two days and now I need a ride because one of the brakes decided to lock up. I'm falling apart and I'm wondering if maybe, I need to do better. I don't want to say my girlfriend is a bad person, she's not, but she acts like a child sometimes, and is always on the verge of being upset at a pin drop over trivial matters. She's supposed to be taking meds too for all of her problems and she refuses to remember to take them. I just don't know if this relationship can go any longer or if my depression episode is clouding my judgement. And with my adhd, it feels better to actually talk through my problem with someone, but I want this to be somewhat anonymous so I came here to reddit. I'm doing my best to get to my next psychiatrist appointment and discuss this with her too. If I'm in the wrong here I want to better myself, I want to make an effort to be a better person, I just don't feel like I have the strength anymore to go on though. I feel as if I'm the only one trying to keep the house together but I may be wrong and maybe I'm not noticing. What should I do?

I can’t tell anyone IRL yet but I need to tell someone!!! I’ve just been booked to perform aerial hoop at the biggest electronic music festival in my country - two performances a day on all days of the festival!! As part of the art & atmosphere of the event - it’s a really cool themed festival with a full on production for performances and experiences and interactive installations.
I’m in my thirties, I started aerial pretty late in life and I only started performing last year (I’ve done just five smaller-scale performances so far plus a showcase) and I was absolutely not imagining I would be part of such a HUGE event so soon! I’m so excited I’m actually shaking and my heart is pounding! It shows that if you just keep working hard and don’t give up on your dreams then amazing things can happen ❤️

im 18 she is 20 we only talked for about 4 months, not really long tbh but she was literally my first everything, from my first kiss to losing my virginity I even helped her move in her first home together, she did have a 1 year old baby already so the situation lowkey wasn’t for me but I also didn’t want to judge and let her having a kid stop me from talking to her, which it didn’t we ended up being together for a while. Anyways she ended up breaking up with me, at first she was saying I was too young and she carried me way too fast she already has a kid and it’s just a lot which is totally understandable, she also said that she thinks I’m a good person and that she isn’t mad at me and for me to find someone my age and move on. It was very difficult for me to process that even today, she also said I should have told her I was a virgin because she knows it can be difficult to move on from something like that, she says it wasn’t fair to both of us but really not fair to me, honestly she is right but in the moment I thought I was ready and me telling her I was a virgin probably would have blew my chance tbh, but things almost seem worse now I feel so attached it’s insane,
It’s been 3 months since we broke up and I’m hurting so much without her, I miss her so much I feel so lonely ts isn’t right man, I don’t want to get over her and lose the attachment that’s how bad it is, she was everything to me, I’ve tried being with sb else and it does help until they aren’t there anymore, when it’s all said n done and Im alone I find my self missing her deeply and feeling so lonely it hurts man
We also went through a miscarriage together, the same time I lost my virginity, she wasn’t even gonna tell me about it until her mom said that she should, we went through a lot during that situation and looking back I was so immature and not ready, she was right. Even after all that we got back tg, it’s really a lot man, it’s a lot to process for me even months after
Overtime it just didn’t work out and it really kills me , we ended on such bad terms, she was saying things like “I feel bad for taking your virginity cause someone else should’ve taken it that actually wants to be with you” shit like “I’ve been still fucking my ex” she also said I didn’t fuck her good enough and I wasn’t good for anything else.. honestly she prolly was jus telling the truth and was fed up
I still remember a caring and loving side of this person, I forgive her despite all the things she said. Getting back tg isn’t realistic and even then things might not ever be the same how they were, it really hurts man it KILLS me inside 💔💔💔
I can say Before she said those hurtful things she asked me to send her money or she would block me, I told her to get a job.. maybe that’s why she said those things but like I said tbh it sounded like she was jus saying the truth
As much as I don’t want to and I hate to admit it, eventually I’m going to have to get over her and lose my attachment, I feel so connected to her especially since I lost my virginity to her it jus makes the feelings stronger, it’s been incredibly painful since she’s left.
I understand she’s been in other serious relationships and she’s already felt those feelings before, it still hurts so much man it really felt like we had something special fr,
I acknowledge her responsibilities and feelings especially as a mother , it can be a lot of stress and I respect her decision and boundaries, I wish her the best
I come to Reddit because idk what else to do I’ve been crying so much and going though my emotions even tho but it’s been so long it feels like yesterday, I don’t see myself without her and when I do I start to panic ts is a different typa pain, my heart is breaking
I been tryna work on myself and workout but still find myself grieving What should I do ? I really am lost💔

idk if right subreddit. Nakakalungkot lang na sariling parent mo ay homophobic. (Di naman ako gay. Straight ako. I have friends lang na gays and I love them so much <3) makaVVM din ang parent ko although I am not kakamfink din naman. (Neutral lang ako but I do observe which side is good and bad) Sobrang old school din and talagang hindi open for change na ang mindset. Idk basta red flags huhu. Parang nakaka-feel nadin ako na para akong nakakulong sa mali at lumang environment na hindi ganun ayon sa principles ko sa life. Hard to say and to accept kasi parent ko nga. Plus na-totorn din ako sa emotions na naffeel ko kasi mostly I feel like red flag nga ang principles ng parent and at the same time I get super sad kasi our parents are growing old na nga diba we should give love to them, bumawi sakanila etc and di pa ako ready mawala sila ofcourse nobody is ready naman tapos di ko matanggap minsan na naffeel ko yung redflag sa parent ko. Minsan di ko na alam kung anong emotion ko ang iaacknowledge ko. Basta ganon Gets niyo ba huhuhu. Please don't judge and say hurtful things about my parent. To someone or kung meron man ka-same ng sentiments ko, I just want to know how do you deal with your every day being with your parent like this? Goal ko din naman bumukod in the future (mejo matatagalan nga lang) for peace of mind and to live according to my own principles in life.

Three days ago, a post was made on NoStupidQuestions was made that reads: How Do I Block A Site (SFW?) From The Home WiFi?
OP details how their boyfriend's adult daughter has "been asked to apply for jobs as a condition of living at home rent-free but often doesn’t because she’s too lost in [Archive of Our Own] and cannot stop."
For those not in the know, Archive of Our Own (abbreviated to AO3) is the de facto site for posting and reading fanfiction in the English-speaking world. It has its own dedicated subreddit and a very large community.
OP says she wants to block the site from their wifi so her stepdaughter will stop using it and get a job. Commenters see a glaringly obvious flaw in her plan:

Blocking the site is not the solution. If she's struggling with her mental health, she's likely using AO3 as a coping and escape mechanism.
Maybe the issue is she's depressed because no jobs are actually hiring and job availability in your area is as poor as the rest of this country. She's clearly looking for an outlet for stress relief. You wouldn't ban your kid from going to a library—why are you banning free reading content from them?
You know there are ways for her to still read her fanfiction regardless of whether you block the site on the home wifi or not, right? I can think of several ways just off the top of my head and they aren't even too crafty. This is a slightly longer way of telling you that what you're doing is stupid.
Yes, treating your stepdaughter like a child will totally make things better in the long run! Have you considered asking her *why* she's so resistant to getting a job?
AO3 isn’t the problem. Are you trying to prompt a suicide, here?
Don't do that.

Then, a user of AO3 sees this and proceeds to crosspost it to the sub. Obviously users are not happy.:

Child: Shows obvious symthoms of depression Parent: Taking away her one outlet should improve things!
How to ruin your relationship with your daughter 101.
am i going crazy

They also take the time to point out that blocking AO3 is extremely easy to bypass:

Nobody tell her that warp vpn is free and takes 2 seconds to set up lol
Oh, good. I can't wait until they take away her laptop and phone when they figure out she can download the fics while outside the house.

Although, a few seem sympathetic to OP:

Yikes 7-8 hours a day on AO3 forgoing food and showers etc ??
Personally, I sort of understand her reasoning. So many people in this post's comments are thinking she's trying to completely take away the daughter's access to AO3, when really that's not the case. They're fine with her being on AO3, just not all the time, 7-8 hours near daily is too excessive.
Honestly, even just browsing some of OOP’s comments I don’t think she’s “choosing violence”. She’s very open to suggestions that her stepdaughter has mental health problems and/or neurodivergence, even acknowledges the likelihood, but as Stepdaughter is a legal adult she can’t make her go get a diagnosis or even attend therapy.

Overall, whether you believe OP is genuinely just concerned for their stepdaughters health or are some overbearing control freak, it seems everyone can agree that blocking the site is a bad idea.

Shoutout dun sa mga fat ladies na naghahanap ng hookup dito sa reddit. One of the reasons why a lot of problems are existing in this world is because we stopped calling things for what it is. Girl, hindi ka thicc, mataba ka. Huwag mo na gamitin yung salitang thicc just to justify your lazy ass why you let yourself become that way. Hindi yan cute, maasim yan.....sa malalim na tagalog, lumba-lumba ang tawag sayo. Curvy in the right places? Bakit? Dahil 5 na palapag bilbil mo? Curvy nga naman, kasing curvy ng daanan paakyat ng Buscalan. You rate yourselves as 8 to 9? Out of what? 100?
Ang nakakainis kasi ay yung requirements niyo na punyemas naman...Yung iba gusto usap lang daw pero gusto ninyo yung galing pa sa big 4? may sariling kotse at sariling place. Meron pang iba na "I don't do checkins".....Bakit? Tingin mo ba inaallow ng mga hotel yung mga inahing baboy sa hotels? Bawal yun dun....
Main point is..... know your worth daw pero mgkaiba yung alam mo kung ano ka versus yung sa tingin mo na kung ano ka. Body positivity is just an excuse na mag adjust ang iba sainyo. May iba naman pang compensate e big boobs. Malamang! San ba gawa ang boobs, diba sa taba? Aanhin yung malaking dede kung mala balyena naman yung laki ng katawan. Pustahan yung ilalim ng dede niyan pati singit amoy datu puti o marca piña. Meron pa nagrereklamo na juts daw nakapartner pero hello, tangina kahit 2L na bote ng coca cola manliliit sayo kung yung hita mo kasintaba na ng michelin mascot. Isabay mo pa yung katawan na mas malapad pa sa orocan.

Sometimes you wanna be done with it all. I said no way. Not this time. I won't have it...
Just asking Gd for more clarity. And I'm getting it you know. One of the hardest things to have to face is all those people who spit in my face repeatedly... Who cursed me to no end in sight. Who thought the worst of me. Walking around not knowing anything or the reasons. I've dealt with people who have been nothing but disappointed in me since that time 28 years ago. The cringe on their faces. The lack of respect.
Asking a friend... Who is this person in this picture only to be met with the look of a cringeful disgust... Not to mention labeled as insane by that time. But it carried through. Those feelings of worthlessness. The looks of disappointment. Everywhere I turned I felt it never leave. Walking as a blind person but never really understanding why people hated me so much.
It's an awful feeling to walk up to someone with nothing but kind words and be spit at for things you were never aware of.
In my car I saw you behind me and I've asked people what do you think he was trying to say? No one could figure it out. And I'm really tired of assumptions when it comes to you. I was thinking perhaps he read the letters i wrote and it's done. That's it.
What I have learned from living with the malignant narcs is once they infect your surroundings it's impossible to decontaminate the stench. It lingers. It's meant to be embedded deep inside whomever succumbs. In my situation the only people who never have is my childhood friends and my family.
So it makes you wonder why? Was it that they live to far into ego to not really see? Although you are unaware... were they more so?
All those scenarios have applied to different areas of my life. I recently thought, you know I just need to get rejected and get it over and done with. Spit in my face one last time M. Oh, and here's a painting of some of my memories that came back. Everyone from that professional go around despised me so deeply. Would anything I said at this point even matter anymore? I would never be accepted. Not even as a friend. The stench is too deeply embedded. I caused you too much pain. You suffered so so much. How dare I. Even if I explained they would think i was lying... Mostly bc it's harder to admit you were an asshole to an underserving person for no reason. Let's just believe the lie instead. Maybe that's how it goes after so much time.
And I've been wondering why I've had really interesting things fall on my lap. How everything is lining up. Almost like Gd is saying I won't have you humiliate yourself anymore. I've given you tools that will help with what you're trying to achieve. I think as my memories have been coming back more and more clearly about the choices I made it really is hard. I've also built up my self worth and esteem as well. It brings me a lot of discomfort to be further subjected to be humiliated. I just realized though, if in fact M knows now, if he got my messages why would he want me to continually embarrass myself? Why not say I heard what really happened
You see me and M knew each other afterwards... but I didn't "know" him anymore the way he knew me. I didn't know him bc I was tortured/hypnotized... the people who knew M... well they knew more about me than I did. They knew what happened .. they decided to spit at me, cursed me most likely and make me feel like the scum of the Earth.
So I thought, Why would I do such a thing to myself, when I chose your life over my own, but I never chose for people who you knew to come at me... So much so I wanted to take my own life at one point bc nothing made sense to me anymore. The constant degrading and rejection.
I didn't realize to think that perhaps these letters have made you feel guilty over your own actions and against me bc you were unaware of the truth. It must be a hard pill to swallow when you thought I chose him. It must have been hard for you to know how badly I was tortured/hypnotized and raped by him repeatedly. And now it must be even harder to know that I chose to save you. It's a lot to take in. Especially, bc having been around everyone and having experienced how aggressive everyone became you told people. And they acted accordingly. They acted with spite .. and the acted unknowingly... And I forgive them all. Your friends, relatives, bro, mother, father, whomever you ever told... Whomever you told the story to... The part you were only aware of.
So it's like why is it so hard for me to see you? I'm not afraid of JE. After all those memories surfaced and I thought about everything I'm just afraid of being spit at, humiliated, embarrassed for existing, hated, despised...
I never knew that when I chose you over myself, it would turn into what it did. Me being completely unaware, still loving you without the knowledge or history of everything that happened... Repeatedly getting traumatized for not remembering what happened.
I got it pretty bad from anyone who sees this from an outside perspective. One thing though that I learned is that when a malignant person starts to spread rumors and lies about you they permeate deeply. So much so it doesn't matter what you say or do. You'll always be despised and hated. There's no way around it. And that's what I accept. I accept that you never respected me or would ever want anything to do with me. I accept that JE really did what he set out to do in destroying our relationship... So we could never tell our story. So that you would always hate me thinking I betrayed you.
It was the furthest thing from what I ever felt about you. And that's the part that I wanted you to know. That I never wanted you to carry any of this hate unknowingly. I forgive you for not knowing the extent of what really happened and having to deal with so many confusing issues or thoughts that would arise. I'm sorry you also had to endure what he did to you. We both got it pretty badly.
So that's what I think you were trying to say. You understand. And you have moved on. If you wanted more you would have reached out. Unlike you though his stench never penetrated through to my soul. And that's love. He never could reach and destroy that part I held onto. The part he really wanted to crush. Throughout this journey I said I would never go to that dark place and think any less of you. I understood how everyone was manipulated by him. I understood how his stench infected so many people who unknowingly fell into his traps. And I'm so proud of myself that despite getting spit at so much and looked down I just accepted it as life. Where some people are just not going to like you.
So no fear sweet person whom I still love and care about. There is no reason to make amends or paint you a picture or apologize. We both didn't do anything wrong. We don't need to apologize for having been victims of his like so many in our circles whom were affected bc of it.
And I think that was what the message was. It was always hard to figure you out. You kept your promise though. So thank you. You did your part when you didn't have to. And another reason I didn't give you my username and if you found my letters it's bc you wanted to at this point. But it was clear you understood. And I'm sorry that you had to learn about how severe it was and the choice I had to make in the end could possibly make you feel bad about the 2nd go around.
Anyway, I have these pretty cool things I've been learning recently. And it goes that were never really helpless in changing things. Even when the stench of negativity has preheated through... We have ways of clearing all that. We're not helpless and we can still have really good lives. That's my plan... Gd Willing...

Hi everyone, I started a double dose this week as recommended by my doctor. I am also on 50mg Zoloft for anxiety. I expressed not feeling anything on 18mg and that I still feel like everything is the hardest thing in the world to do. I started 36mg on Monday, so far I feel more restless, however, my stress levels haven't spiked (I track with a whoop). I feel like I am more focused and can do thing but I do catch myself drifting or zoning out or avoiding things. I also get SUPER tired 3pm onwards, is that normal? So far, my anxiety is still under control but what I am trying to ask is if there is a way to manage the restlessness? I do everything my doctor recommends to manage side effects like staying hydrated and getting enough sleep no nicotine good diet etc etc.
I think what I am trying to know is how is your experience with 36mg Concerta and if you have any tips and suggestions to stay on track on a day to day basis? even just explaining your experiences would help me understand and learn more about this. everything is so new to me and i feel alone in navigating this. thank you all

last year, i (25f) started dating a co-worker (25m) who actually had a girlfriend all this time (not to my knowledge). when we started dating, he insisted we keep our relationship a secret in the office because “maraming naninira.” and while i found it off-putting, i decided to shrug it off bc it’s true na malala nga ang chismis sa office. a few months into dating, people in the office started saying na may gf siya pero lapit pa rin ako nang lapit and mukha akong desperate. i later on found out na siya pala mismo ang nagsasabi sa officemates namin na lumalapit pa rin ako kahit sinabihan niya akong may jowa siya. the whole time, he’d deny to me na may gf siya and nagagalit siya kapag kinoconfront ko siya kasi ba’t daw mas naniniwala ako sa “chismis.” even after i learned the truth and left him, the damage had been done and everyone in the office believed him and thinks desperate kabit ako.
last week, may isa pa akong officemate (29m) who confessed na may gusto siya sa akin. prior to his confession, nagiging touchy na siya sa akin, hugging me frequently, holding my hands, and kissing me on the forehead. very effeminate siya so kala ko accla siya na friendly (i have other gay friends na super physically affectionate sa akin). i found out that this guy is notorious for his history na may two girls na dinate nang sabay sa office/nagcheat siya, but when i asked him about it, he insisted na wala na siya nung isang girl. anyway, di ako umiwas sa advances niya because i really thought friendly lang siya (and baka closeted talaga). also, i can’t tell when people like me until they actually say it outright and di ako nag-aassume na may gusto siya sa akin. after he confessed to me last week, i told him naman na ayaw ko mag entertain ng anyone from the same office and that i’m not interested in pursuing anything with him. nilalayuan ko na rin siya sa office pero apparently, people in the office had already seen him being touchy towards me and have been saying na homewrecker na naman ako since they say sila pa rin ni girl kahit dinedeny niya pa rin and may bago na naman akong “target.”
i think it’s so unfair that people don’t even bother getting to know my side of the story and iniisip nila agad na ganung klaseng tao ako. i don’t know if i should defend myself from the rumors or just keep quiet. i also feel like may internalized misogyny because i get all the hate for being the malandi na ~kabit~ but no one’s called out the two guys for being unfaithful to their respective girls. masaya sana ako sa work ko because it pays well and the work’s fulfilling, pero parang gusto ko na lang mag resign kasi i don’t feel safe in this environment and naddrain na ako going to the office knowing that people think of me that way.