I met her, she had son of 1 year old. After 2 year i move from my town to live with her, left everything. We married qnd live together. She never said which health problem has, always said she has deppression. In last few months she telling that she has adhd. I paid everything to her, paid 5 years of colleage. Paying psyhoterapist private just to help her. Her son calling me dad. She was eating like a crazy unhealthy food, getting 30 kg in short time, and i was always guilty for whatever she done. She was crazy for material thingd, cosmetics, clothes, parfumes, shoes, books. She was happy when buy somthing, but didnt read book or wear clothes. She is very manipulated, destroying people until she gets what she want. She report me to police, destroy my job, was in prision for month. Next day she write on reddit that i am abuser and narcist. Than she was thinking am i good at prison. After that she want to go therapy together. But after first meet she doesnt want to go anymore. Than she for first time get job, really good job, and tell me to leave. All time she didnt work, i was paying for everything to her and child. After month she asking me to come to pick up her on her job. Once she call me back and when i get in house she start to fuck me like it s her last time in life.. after month she blocked me and tell me she has her life and doesnt want to answer me anywhere for like 50 days
I am totally fucked. I want to kill myself. I give everything to her, her son has 11 year old, i spent time with him for 10 years until he started walking. Does she has bpd? I cant handle my life anymore..
I even pay her private therapist just to be normal, every time she get worst and worst. She wil destroy everything you build.... Destructive and autodestructive. She cant live in peace and happiens
I just cant handle it anymore and i want to kill myself

S6 ep 23 "Potter's retirement" centers around Colonel Potter being told he's getting bad reviews about the 4077 from someone inside the unit. This makes him feel betrayed and very cross throughout the episode basically reverting to when he first took command. It's so hard on him he tries to ask for a transfer after Hawkeye and BJ confront him. They eventually find out the reports are being written by a throwaway character who I don't even think we see earlier in the episode. When the beans are spilled he gets booted before everything returns to normal.
Firstly I have to say this feels like an episode they wrote for Frank but never got around to filming it while Larry Linville was still on the show. The idea that there's a traitor is interesting but to have it be a throwaway character makes it feel anticlimactic.
In addition even if it was an episode written for Larry Linville it just doesn't seem like it would make sense. If it had happened in S4-5 then it would be obvious that Frank was the one writing the complaints. Heck it would be expected that Frank has been writing complaints for years at this point so why would Potter give a hooch?
That's the other thing, you would expect that Frank and Margaret would have been sending these complaints ever since Potter took command. Surely this had been mentioned to Potter in a similar meeting to what happened at the start of this episode. So why is he reacting so badly if we can infer that this isn't the first time?
Finally Potter has been in the army for 40 years and surely has had to deal with people who weren't content with his command, sending reports behind his back, and he's become close with the 4077 and knows those actually close to him would never betray him. This is proven when it's a captain who hasn't been there for that long or seems to be close with anyone. So why does this random man cause him such pain?
Just some observations I had.

Two days ago if you asked me how is my relationship with my family I would have said 'they're fine', and you might ask me:
'why do you not talk to them at all?'
Then i would have said that 'because I'm a bad son', or something like that.
But talking with friends on this topic made me realize that there's something else.
My dad is a gambling addict and my mom doesn't like that he is one. They would argue about this every single day. At that time I didn't have a job because pandemic, and I had to suffer with them in silence.
One night about two years ago, it got so bad, that they started to argue about divorce, and that night I didn't bend.
I broke, down in tears. I really had enough that day. My wailing was so terrible that they had to stop, at least for that night. They didn't come and comfort me or anything, they just decided that it's best to drop the subject.
That night sucked.
That was my breaking point, made me decide to move out the first chance I get.
And so I did. Went to a diploma mill in another state for a year, then moved out of country to work.
I didn't remember much. But I remembered more and more details as I chat about family with others. I remembered the time that I got shot several times with a toy gun and and another time manhandled, dragged back into my room by my brother.
I was unruly when I was young because I'm autistic, but no one(not even me) realized that I am and their methods of dealing with me are just unhinged.
As I'm starting to recall more and more of these events, now I can comfortably say that I don't like my family at all, I excused their actions unfairly, and now I'm done with that.
I'm still suffering the consequences of being in such a position, I'm a hopeless people pleaser, and I'm trying to unlearn that. Being touched (especially unexpectedly) is awfully unpleasant for me, I don't know how to unlearn that.
But at least I'm out for now, living by myself, being my own person. Younger me would envy the current me so much.
That's the end of my rant, thanks for reading. I'm supposed to be asleep right now, 6 hours before I have to wake up for my shift, but I wanted to write this out.
Most people says that they missed the time that they were teenagers, I don't. If you don't like the way things are now, please hang in there, it got better for me, maybe it will for you too?

My mother stood up for the first time in 22 days - she is 89 years old suffering from severe lower back hip and leg pain she's been hospitalized since May 15th, and in my mind the hospital has done nothing to help this woman. They discovered a small spinal infection abscess which was drained on the 21st and is being treated with antibiotics. Other problems with their back were found on the MRI and none have been addressed clumps of nerve roots Subacute fracture in one of her vertebrae that wasn't there previously, inflammation, Since being admitted to the hospital she has been in a severe amount of pain. She has mostly been laying flat on her back although occasionally slightly raised. During this time her doctors have done nothing to treat her beside giving her a ton of opioids, her doctor told me his plan for treatment was basically he had to wait until the pain went away before the other problems could be addressed. In the meantime physical therapy would come in several times a week and basically try to sit her up and when she said that it hurt they would stop and leave. This weekend we were told by her caseworker that her insurance could run out any day and that Rehabilitation Facilities wouldn't take her because of lack of progress. This is a horrible situation.
The position that this hospital is put my mom in due to in my opinion are very poor care is overwhelming. They have contributed to my mom's immobility and I don't know what to do - here's some issues that I have with them. 1. What physical therapy would come and try that have my mom set up they did absolutely nothing for her legs nothing to maintain muscle mass or tone nothing to maintain strength flexibility range of motion nothing. Their excuse was she was in too much pain. 2. They tried no additional Therapies such as ice/heat, ultrasound, tems, nothing - to let her lie there all day 3. I'm convinced that a lot of her pain at this point could be attributed to muscle stiffness due to lack of movement and they have done nothing to address that. I have asked if I could bring in a massage therapist I thought that might help but I was told no. I asked for a heating pad for weeks on end they said they would get her one but nothing ever happened. 4. One of my biggest problems is with the positioning of my mom in her bed from what I've read she should be positioned with her torso hips and legs in alignment perpendicular to the bed. Which whenever I show up there she is not and when they come in for to adjust your position they basically move her closer to that head of the bed move the pillow from her left hip to a right hip and that's it - the biggest issue I think is alignment of your hips with where the bed pivots, her hips should be aligned with a pivot point of the bed so when they start to move her up into a vertical position so it doesn't put unnecessary strain on her lower back - I've asked time and time again for them to please align her hips with the Pivot Point but they don't - her hips are a good but lower in the bed than the Pivot Point which puts strain on the exact place that she has pain. 5. There are other things too such as my mom's feet feel numb I've asked the nurses to take care of her I don't know massage her legs since she's imobile for circulation and pain etc.
So yesterday she was able to stand up with assistance of the physical therapist I believe the only reason she hasn't been able to do this prior is because of the lack of skill of the previous physical therapists. Prior to this the most they were able to do was sitter at the edge of the bed from your seconds. But standing changed a lot of things first off my mom was so proud of herself secondly they told me that she could now be accepted by a rehab and her insurance would cover only 21 days.
This was a great relief to me because I don't want to put my mom in a nursing home. It would break my heart to tell her that she's not going to be able to go back to her little home that she loves.
But then today they got her into the standing position and she collapsed because he didn't have enough strength in her legs to hold herself up. My mom is a little overweight I think 5' 5" 190 lbs - and I'm beginning to worry that if they transfer her in the next few days to rehab that she won't have enough strength to really make any progress. I feel like if the hospital maintained some of her flexibility and strength by having physical therapy work with her legs we won't be in this situation.
Does anyone have any suggestions are there any is there anything I can do to help my mom strengthen her legs because they're not going to do it nothing's getting done I think they've caused more damage than they've helped.
Let me preface this also by saying that on April 20th my mom was hospitalized I said the same Hospital for high blood loss anemia she required three or four units of blood and was in the hospital for 12 days since she had problems with her back and hips now I asked for physical therapy turns out that their physical therapy consisted of nothing more than getting her up taking for a walk 30 ft out of the room and back to me that is a complete disservice for the charge of $330 a day. There's more to that story but basically our insurance denied her going to rehab at that time because they said she was too mobile. Part of this was due to the fact that physical therapy in their reports listen about 10 exercises they allegedly did with her but they didn't I was there and they did not do the exercises. Anyways the results of that stay was that my mom was told that due to the blood loss she would experience weakness for one to two months.
Two days before going to the hospital for the second time on Mother's Day she got up took a shower got got ready so I can take her to church she navigated stairs up and down and although she used her walker she was at least mobile.
But yesterday a different physical therapist hour and he was able to get her stood up. She was so proud of herself I honestly believe the only difference in successfully getting her to stand and not was the skill of the physical therapist. Today though when they got her up the stand her legs we're not strong enough to support her body and she collapsed. So now I really don't know how to proceed they tell me that she can now be placed and insurance will cover 21 days, but Im not sure if she will have the strength in her legs to make the rehab stay actually meaningful. PLEASE tell me anyway I can help her strengthen her legs are, there any options for care, I haven't seen what it takes for them to get her to sit up then stand, but I'm very worried.
Im worried that in the limited 21 days of rehab that she has available they won't be able to make enough of an impact on her Mobility for her to come home - please help any advice Direction advocates anything

I let God (as love for Me) replace judgement thoughts which seem to appear in my mind as 'something.'
I thought judgements were mine, they belong to the egoic voice.. and I join with the HS who says things like: Condemnation is nothing. No fear.
I will not judge my Self, the son of spirit, a God of perfect love. We can freely let judgemental thoughts just pass through, bc they cannot harm Me, they are meaningless. We are not condemned ever. There is no punishment or condemnation in God, or in Me bc they are not Real. We are as part of God, Who is innocent.
I have unknowingly been playing the part of judge. And a lot more. It is not I but the egoic voice I made up, I imagined from the past, which judges. I give judgements over to the HS immediately for undoing. I am not guilty bc it's impossible to be guilty. I am a son of God, and so guilt is laughable.
The truth sits in my spirit/soul, smiling that the egoic thought system can do nothing to hurt Me, or others. We cannot change God nor ourselves, created by love. I am not a body I am free, for I am as God created Me, perfectly safe from the egoic thought system. Perfectly loved.
This means I am free of....you fill in the blank!
If the egoic voice attempts to make me 'guilty' for judging, learn now that the accusations of the egoic voice are meaningless. Unreal. We are already free from any 'reality' of the egoic thought system. Stay with your Self in your soul. And watch allow all thoughts, they can't hurt You, bc You are You.
This is my dream and I am the only one 'here'.
Thanks for taking your time.
Fukina
🎅🏻🥸🎶
Lesson 96
Salvation comes frome my one self
.We will attempt today to find this thought, whose presence in your mind is guaranteed by Him Who speaks to you from your one Self. ²Our hourly five-minute practicing will be a search for Him within your mind. ³Salvation comes from this one Self through Him Who is the Bridge between your mind and It. ⁴Wait patiently, and let Him speak to you about your Self, and what your mind can do, restored to It and free to serve Its Will. (ACIM, W-96.8:1-4)
Lesson 243
Today I will not judge anything occurs Iuy
I will be honest with myself today. ²I will not think that I already know what must remain beyond my present grasp. ³I will not think I understand the whole from bits of my perception, which are all that I can see. ⁴Today I recognize that this is so. ⁵And so I am relieved of judgments that I cannot make. ⁶Thus do I free myself and what I look upon, to be in peace as God created us. (ACIM, W-243.1:1-6 .

im 15 years old, and ive been absolutely okay with how i looked up until now. in the past few years, every stranger and every friend ive met mistook me for a man. i go out with my mom, her friends think im her son, i go to a new school, the principal refers to me as "this young boy", my uncle that i havent met in a long time backs up when he realises im not some random boy that he thought i was.
i have short hair, im 5'1, i dress masculine but when i look in the mirror i dont feel like i look like a man? actually, i think i look really feminine. but people mistaking me as a boy has happened so often and so recently ive been looking in the mirror for long periods of time and ive been trying to identify what the masculine part is.
ive been thinking about growing out my hair or changing the way i dress but i really really dont want to change at all. what else can i do?

I am a girl from a very strict muslim family. I never hangout with friends. I go to school and come straight home. I never have birthday parties, and funnily my parents recently forgot my birthday. My whole life there has been a lot of tension in the family.
I thought my parents would change overtime, but they don't even let me go for a walk by myself. I just completed my Bachelor of Science with honours, I was top of my class and I did research too. I thought maybe my parents would give me respect and show me kindness, but even after all my accomplishments they treat me like i'm unworthy. Ever since I was a kid I was treated very poorly by my parents, especially my mom. I was yelled at almost everyday for no reason.
My family also never believed in me being smart enough to succeed. They told me to not waste their money and just go for an easier, attainable career instead of Medicine. So, I never believed in myself for a very long time. Even after I scored high on the MCAT, they still didn't believe in me.
I am always by myself in my room. My parents are emotionally unavailable. They just want me to quickly finish my education and get married. My mom has been telling me to get married since I was 16.
I've decided I need to move out because I'm going insane living with them. I've been saving money for a while now through my research job, but I just feel an immense amount of guilt. Like maybe I am the problem. Sometimes I feel maybe if I got married my parents will like me more and be happy. But what about my happiness?
I'm not a crazy kid who parties or anything. I just want to wake up without having to worry if I am going to get yelled at. I want to go for walks in the park, play tennis with friends and continue my education. But sadly, that's too much to ask for in my family.

I just started dating her, I’ve gotten to get to know her for the past 6 months. The problem is she lives 3 hours away but is planning to move in on July, so we’ll usually discord call each other and talk until we fall asleep. Last night she got drunk, and ended the call around 2am when I was asleep, when I woke up to ask her what happened, she didn’t respond and an hour later told me she was with a friend and she will brb. I don’t hear from her until the next day. This morning i asked her what happened and she told me an old friends mom just passed away, and they ended up staying the night. I asked who it was, and she told me it was an ex boyfriend of hers from when she was 16. I wasn’t too bothered by it, a little upset that she didn’t give me any texts letting me know what was up before she left. Tonight we were calling and the whole thing with her ex sleeping over was on my mind, so we talked about it more and I ended up asking where he slept? And she said they were sleeping in the bed together. That kind of sent me a bit over the edge and I’m just really upset by the whole thing. She told me nothing happened and I have nothing to worry about, but to me that kind of behviour isn’t acceptable… I just need some advice on where I should go from here. I just left her alone for the night and I’m up all upset and in my feelings.

I'm so fucking tired of this life my whole family is against me im the only girl in my family they all gang up on me and hit me while swearing at me telling me to commit suicide my older brother hit me so hard my head still hurts and I have a huge bruise on my arm now that everyone at school is asking me about im exhausted the only person who gets me is my dad and he lives abroad they all hate him and don't let me talk to him my mother favours my brothers over me and doesnt even talk to me properly without some form of attitude if she even responds my older brother is a fucking bitch he used to touch me when we were younger and over the years we never talk but nowadays his stupid ass is always responding with rude shit like suicide kwro if im saying something unrelated to him to my mom and my younger brother is only 6 but seeing both of them all the time he does the same shit to me and if I try disciplining him my mom or bro start hitting me they don't say anything ro him I don't get why I have to go through this wtf have I done I dont even talk or look at my older brother I don't say shit to my mom unless she does something unreasonable infront of everyone which she has done multiple times thats a whole other post and I try my best to maintain a good rs with my younger brother baking food for him buying him whatever he wants out of my own pocket because my mom doesnt fuking give me any money for even food but wld buy a car for my older brother if he asks any money my dad sends me is taken by my mom an di can't tell him shit because she'll kill me she has tried to many times before
I'm scared jce gone completely mad because of living with this dysfunctional ass family I cry every second of my life as soon as I get home from school they start some shit to the point I feel like any day now I'm just gonna burst and jump off my terrace or some shit I don't know what to do I have no one else in my family ro tell no contact with my dads family my moms family will just take her side my friends obviously can't do anything

Hello everyone! Mod here!
I thought I would try a new feature here at 70s where I present THREE topics of conversation discussing a variety of things related to the 70s and I wanted to see how this works out. I fully realize that some of my writings are insane, but hopefully you don't think I'm too crazy!
First up is Jimmy Carter, who of course was the U.S. President in the late 70s. As of this writing, Jimmy is 99 years, 8 months and 4 days old. Already the longest-lived U.S. President, Jimmy would make history as the first President to live 100 years should he get there. Jimmy's son has said numerous times his father is near the end, but thankfully Jimmy is still alive today. Can Jimmy get to 100 or will he pull a Betty White/Bob Barker and run out of gas one block short of the gas station?
Next up is The Waltons. Dear God, The Waltons. As a huge, long-time fan of Little House On The Prairie, I was told that the Waltons was a lot like Little House. Watch it, they said, you'll enjoy it, they said. WRONG! Honestly, I don't know if I can go on. I think I only have one episode left of Season 2 and this show is BORING AS HELL! I've seen paint dry on the wall that was more exciting than this. I mean, stuff happens but nothing happens, do you know what I mean? The adults treat John-Boy like he is more important than God and Jesus combined times 10. The other 6 children? John-Boy gets more lines than all of the rest of them combined. Grampa wants to get buried in a certain suit? Well I'm sorry Grampa, you're just going to have to give that suit to John-Boy because he's going to university. Also, Grandma is a straight-up crank. Little House managed to combine drama with comedy, adventure and heartwarming moments. The Waltons is almost completely devoid of all of these things. Cheap plugs: WaltonsMountain and littlehouseonprairie
Finally, I thought I would talk about some of the crazy shit I did as a child. Of course, as most people know, there were no cell phones in the 70s and 1980s, no internet, and all of that stuff. What this means is that back in those days, you created your own fun, which for me, led to some interesting happenings. When I was about 6 or 7 years old, I wanted to be friends with everyone that lived on my street. In order to get into everyone's good graces, I thought it would be cool to insert a cookie into everyone's mailbox. Well, this was wrong for numerous reasons, including the fact that nobody knew it was me who did that, so I didn't receive any good will from that. I also enjoyed pulling out the phone book and calling random people for conversations. And then there was the time I pulled out a kitchen utensil that my mother used when she made spaghetti and used that when I was playing with my Play-Dough. I put the utensil back in the drawer without thinking it needed to be washed first. I remember the next time my mother made spaghetti, she said it had a dough-y taste to it. Also, another cheap plug: 1980s
What do you think? Any wild stories from your youth you wish to share? Are the Waltons boring as hell? Will Jimmy become a Centurian? Don't hold back!

Sorry kind of long, but many years ago I got my appendix out, it was very traumatic and my (16M) first time having surgery and being in a hospital. It was before the current laparoscopic procedure and left me with a 4 inch incision on my stomach at the waist on my right side. Just out of surgery and I was so out of it fro the anesthesia. The next morning I wake up in the hospital and every three hours the nurse comes and has me roll over and gives me a shot in the ass and I fall asleep right after. I was told due to some complications they wanted me to stay a couple of days for observation. So the first night at like 2AM, I clicked on the TV as I had been sleeping all day basically and there is like 3 channels and nothing on. As I am going through the channels there is a channel for women who just had a baby and how to nurse the baby. So like any 16 year old I watch some mom nursing her baby and I got turned on but was terrified of doing anything hurt my incision. Like clockwork, the nurse comes in and said she was there to give me the shot but wanted to check the incision first. The nurse (45ish F) pulls back my blankets and sheet and checks the incision, I look down and see my fully erect penis twitching under the thin sheet right below the incision. I was mortified and so embarrassed. The nurse procee6ti give me the shot and then asked if I wanted her to turn off the TV because I was already nodding off. The last thing I remember is looking up and seeing the ladies boob on the TV as she was trying to nurse her baby I felt like an idiot at this point and said yes and acted like I didn't know it was on, trying to play it off like the last person left it on that channel. So fast forward to the next night and the same nurse is on shift and tells me I need to have a bowel movement before I am released from the hospital so they know I am ok in there. I told her I haven't gone yet and she encouraged me to get up and take some short walks and I agreed. At this point I am still getting shots for pain but less frequently and I am still in quite a bit of pain every time I move or cough. So during the night an orderly (late 30's F) comes in with the nurse and tells me they are giving me a sponge bath since I am going on the 3rd day. At this point I am really embarrassed but I said ok if you give me a pain shot first because I was scared of moving too much and my stomach hurting. So she rolled me over, shit in the butt and I am really relaxed and they start the sponge bath. Looking back, very professional and treated me very respectfully, but I was 16. So they put a towel over my privates did the bath and then when they where drying my off. I was kind of out of it and asked when it would be ok to relieve myself. At this point I inadvertently got an erection and made everyone uncomfortable. Due to to medication, I didn't even care and the nurse politely told me I could have some private time when they finished and left. I had no shame and asked for some lotion and before the nurse could finish her paperwork I was cautiously rubbing one out. As bad as this seems, I really wasn't a perv, but something in the medicine made me so horny and dropped my inhibitions, I did something so out of character. Before the nurse could finish her paperwork and turned around, I came in like 30 seconds and again asked for a towel to clean it up. I was released the next morning and I felt like such a creep. Am I wrong for how I acted and felt, or does shit like this happen in hospitals and nurses see this occasionally. Please be kind!

Well, despite still not wanting to submit to a higher power, and having to “deny the flesh”, and obey God (even some of the rules commandments that just seem unreasonable, like no sex before marriage) I feel very strongly that demons have been attacking and harassing me.
I’m 28, and really they’ve probably been attacking me in my life for many years now, but in more recent years, it seemed to get worse.
Evil and violent intrusive thoughts, nightmares that make me wake up screaming as loud and long as I possibly can (scares my family, why wouldn’t it?) but 7 months ago it seemed to get MUCH WORSE, all of a sudden.
I experienced maybe the worst terror I ever have, severe derealization and depersonalization, (oh and I had been having mental images of demonic creatures when awake for some time before already), and I can’t even fully or properly explain it all, and just how severe psychological hell it is for me.
I don’t know if I’m actually being attacked by demons, or just going insane.
I have vivid nightmares that make me wake up screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes, even still now as a 28 year old man.
I’ve never had sleep paralysis, nor seen any “shadow people”, but do see faces with weird lighting emphasizing/focusing on their face, and they seem to have no actual mouth (I’ve seen an open wide frown, cartoonish kind of, and it absolutely terrified me, while another guy was trying to stay hidden in the dark next to him.
That was in a dream, but I’ve also just seen these things after waking up even if they weren’t in the dream, but not seeing them with my eyes, but it’s mentally visualizing/image.
This doesn’t seem to match the common description of demons appearing as “shadow figures”, but nonetheless looks and feels very real, and just fills me with terror.
I also have some type of phobia of screaming now, so having both the urge to scream and fear of doing so feels like literal Hell. And feeling I HAVE to do it just to be as loud as I can (I feel the vibrations and force from my body) but after waking up I’m actually AWARE that my family can probably hear me, so it’s even more terrifying to do it, waking up it’s just involuntary and I don’t know that I’m going to scream in real life.
I never got to have a girlfriend or have sex, and don’t want to commit to celibacy now, and don’t see marriage being realistic for me in the foreseeable future at all. And I also have a massive femdom fetish, and feel it’d be a very accepting community for me where I’d belong. I LOVE IT, and have NO DESIRE AT ALL to be a “traditional masculine dominant alpha male”, nor do I want my kinks to go away, that’s a part of my identity and I just love it, it’s not something I want to stop wanting.
But the WORST thing is, I feel like I’m losing control of myself, and like my mind is falling apart. Impulses and urges are taking over, logic is fading away, and I just feel I’m losing touch with reality.
I don’t think God will heal me, even if He saved me and I followed Him. He’d probably want me to keep going through it to “challenge my faith”, gotta test us, right?
God can’t even make demons just disappear, people (claim) to have to feel and watch them exit their body, and they’re still able to do stuff on their way out, and I can’t imagine feeling peace even AFTER they’ve left, I just imagine having another panic attack, and/or mental breakdown.
I (no idea what else it could possibly be, no clue how science or psychology could explain it) have even seemingly been possessed before.
I was 13 and woke up, got out of bed, and just ran through the house, my legs moving without me doing it. Then I told my mom something was wrong, then I started BARKING, then screaming, terrified realizing something was controlling me against my will (and 8 or 9 months ago, suddenly felt like something like that tried to take over me again, but praying made it go away, despite being so rebellious and defiant against God).
I was screaming, panicking, swinging my arms around, and my mom was praying, and I called out to God to “wake me up”. (It felt like being stuck between a dream and awake) and moments after that, it just stopped, and it felt EXACTLY like waking up from a dream. I was still standing where I was, because it had all actually physically happened in real life, it wasn’t an actual dream where you suddenly wake up in bed.
But even my Christian mom and grandmother, insist it was actually my medication giving me a panic attack or psychotic episode. They believe in God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, but insist that I was not possessed, and that even today there are no demons in our house (different house, but mental or spiritual this stuff goes with you), we even saw an orb on the security camera recently.
It moved very intelligently, like it consciously knew to fly up from the chair, and then to and over the roof.
An entity that visits me in my dreams? A demon?
I’m absolutely suffering, I feel I’m becoming evil, and losing control over my own actions, and definitely my mind. I think even deeper than that, like “Why are we the way we are in the first place?” Or “why do people choose to make decisions we end up making?”
And I remember my family saying stuff like “people just choose to do bad things” and someone else saying “poor work ethic isn’t a choice, you just either have it or you don’t”, and that guy was a conservative talking bad about liberals, so he wasn’t making excuses for himself, but explaining why others are like that.
So that means like, some things we can’t change about ourself? We’re just stuck with them?
Also those faces I see make me think of “Courage the Cowardly Dog”, can’t believe that was actually a kids show.
Now what? I don’t know. I just have to suffer like this, probably increasingly gradually worse, until I die, and then maybe (if not probably) suffer even worse in Hell for eternity…….
What am I experiencing???? What’s wrong with me???? What is this????
I don’t want to scream, why are they trying to convince me that I need to? Their logic isn’t even, logical!

I rarely see good news on here so I'd like to share mine.
I've had crps for 5 years now. I developed it at 18 years old after completing a triathlon and getting tendinitis in my knee, which became crps. Over the course of years it spread to both knees, both elbows, snd both wrists. For the past 3 years i have been mostly bedridden. I couldn't walk for more than 3 minutes and even when i did it was excruciating, i couldn't touch a computer, any video games, i couldn't write anymore, i could barely make art anymore, i had to stop writing in my journal and had to keep it on my phone because of my pain. I cannot even sit in chairs or drive or run or jump. I use a wheelchair when i leave the house. When it was its worse it felt like i was being burned alive. I remember days when feeling okay lasted literal seconds and then it was gone. I remember days being in so much pain i couldn't pick up my phone and my mom had to spoon feed me. I remember days when i desperately wanted to go outside and feel the sun, when i walked outside i would count ot 10. I would soak up everything i could in those 10 seconds, the colors of the sky and the fresh air. When the time was up i went back to bed and couldn't do that again for another few days.
I started ketamine infusions a year ago, i was diagnosed last year. I had infusions before i was diagnosed. First we did a 2 hour infusion. It worked wonders, for 6 weeks i actually jumped on a trampoline for a few minutes almost everyday, i even climbed the low branch of a tree and sat on it. Then we did a 4 hour infusion. The results were not the same. I tried 4 more 4 hour infusions every six weeks, but there was no relief. I was devastated. I thought the universe was cruel to even give me such hope. Then i got diagnosed and i was told of a place in Tampa with dr. Hanah that did infusions differently. I went there and met him, he prescribed a 4 hour infusion every day for 10 days, 5 days, the weekend off, then 5 more days, he also prescribed oral ketamine, 30mg 3 times a day on the weekend, one at night on infusion days. I did that. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. It felt like dying a thousand times. I almost gave up and left early because i hate the experience of ketamine so much. But after the 5th day my dad noticed me bouncing my leg when i was sitting, something i did all my life up until crps which made it too painful. Thats when we realized, since the second infusion, i was in ZERO pain, none at all. That continued until i got home and i had a flair. I always get a flair after infusions, this is very normal for me, but it was scary. I worried the hardest thing i had ever done wasn't worth it. The flair ended, and i tried playing minecraft, my favorite game I've been unable to play for years. I had a system: play for 20 minutes, rest for 20 minutes, and repeat. I played for HOURS. I tried again the next day and it was the same, and the day after that, and the day after that. 6 weeks after tampa i had whats called a booster infusion, which was 2 days of 4 hour infusions. Then i went 2 MONTHS until needing my next infusions, which i had 2 weeks ago.
Here is what my life looks like now: im still in bed most of the time, but i do not think of the pain, it doesn't distract me. It used to be 7-10/10 now its 3-6/10. I play minecraft with my best friend almost everyday often all day. Last week i painted a dresser. I have a garden i lightly care for each day. After the infusions before this one i had a day where i was completely able bodied, i baked a pie, went to the park, transplanted plants and played minecraft. Not only this, but even when the infusions wear off it still has permanent beneficial effects. In the past, no ketamine meant i was taking 4 scolding hot baths a day to soothe the pain in my knees. Now no ketamine means bath some days, maybe 2.
It's over. I made it. I made it to a life i thought was impossible and its not even done getting better. I am happy. I am not suffering. I am regaining freedom. It. Is. Over.

Well, despite still not wanting to submit to a higher power, and having to “deny the flesh”, and obey God (even some of the rules commandments that just seem unreasonable, like no sex before marriage) I feel very strongly that demons have been attacking and harassing me.
I’m 28, and really they’ve probably been attacking me in my life for many years now, but in more recent years, it seemed to get worse.
Evil and violent intrusive thoughts, nightmares that make me wake up screaming as loud and long as I possibly can (scares my family, why wouldn’t it?) but 7 months ago it seemed to get MUCH WORSE, all of a sudden.
I experienced maybe the worst terror I ever have, severe derealization and depersonalization, (oh and I had been having mental images of demonic creatures when awake for some time before already), and I can’t even fully or properly explain it all, and just how severe psychological hell it is for me.
I don’t know if I’m actually being attacked by demons, or just going insane.
I have vivid nightmares that make me wake up screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes, even still now as a 28 year old man.
I’ve never had sleep paralysis, nor seen any “shadow people”, but do see faces with weird lighting emphasizing/focusing on their face, and they seem to have no actual mouth (I’ve seen an open wide frown, cartoonish kind of, and it absolutely terrified me, while another guy was trying to stay hidden in the dark next to him.
That was in a dream, but I’ve also just seen these things after waking up even if they weren’t in the dream, but not seeing them with my eyes, but it’s mentally visualizing/image.
This doesn’t seem to match the common description of demons appearing as “shadow figures”, but nonetheless looks and feels very real, and just fills me with terror.
I also have some type of phobia of screaming now, so having both the urge to scream and fear of doing so feels like literal Hell. And feeling I HAVE to do it just to be as loud as I can (I feel the vibrations and force from my body) but after waking up I’m actually AWARE that my family can probably hear me, so it’s even more terrifying to do it, waking up it’s just involuntary and I don’t know that I’m going to scream in real life.
I never got to have a girlfriend or have sex, and don’t want to commit to celibacy now, and don’t see marriage being realistic for me in the foreseeable future at all. And I also have a massive femdom fetish, and feel it’d be a very accepting community for me where I’d belong. I LOVE IT, and have NO DESIRE AT ALL to be a “traditional masculine dominant alpha male”, nor do I want my kinks to go away, that’s a part of my identity and I just love it, it’s not something I want to stop wanting.
But the WORST thing is, I feel like I’m losing control of myself, and like my mind is falling apart. Impulses and urges are taking over, logic is fading away, and I just feel I’m losing touch with reality.
I don’t think God will heal me, even if He saved me and I followed Him. He’d probably want me to keep going through it to “challenge my faith”, gotta test us, right?
God can’t even make demons just disappear, people (claim) to have to feel and watch them exit their body, and they’re still able to do stuff on their way out, and I can’t imagine feeling peace even AFTER they’ve left, I just imagine having another panic attack, and/or mental breakdown.
I (no idea what else it could possibly be, no clue how science or psychology could explain it) have even seemingly been possessed before.
I was 13 and woke up, got out of bed, and just ran through the house, my legs moving without me doing it. Then I told my mom something was wrong, then I started BARKING, then screaming, terrified realizing something was controlling me against my will (and 8 or 9 months ago, suddenly felt like something like that tried to take over me again, but praying made it go away, despite being so rebellious and defiant against God).
I was screaming, panicking, swinging my arms around, and my mom was praying, and I called out to God to “wake me up”. (It felt like being stuck between a dream and awake) and moments after that, it just stopped, and it felt EXACTLY like waking up from a dream. I was still standing where I was, because it had all actually physically happened in real life, it wasn’t an actual dream where you suddenly wake up in bed.
But even my Christian mom and grandmother, insist it was actually my medication giving me a panic attack or psychotic episode. They believe in God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, but insist that I was not possessed, and that even today there are no demons in our house (different house, but mental or spiritual this stuff goes with you), we even saw an orb on the security camera recently.
It moved very intelligently, like it consciously knew to fly up from the chair, and then to and over the roof.
An entity that visits me in my dreams? A demon?
I’m absolutely suffering, I feel I’m becoming evil, and losing control over my own actions, and definitely my mind. I think even deeper than that, like “Why are we the way we are in the first place?” Or “why do people choose to make decisions we end up making?”
And I remember my family saying stuff like “people just choose to do bad things” and someone else saying “poor work ethic isn’t a choice, you just either have it or you don’t”, and that guy was a conservative talking bad about liberals, so he wasn’t making excuses for himself, but explaining why others are like that.
So that means like, some things we can’t change about ourself? We’re just stuck with them?
Also those faces I see make me think of “Courage the Cowardly Dog”, can’t believe that was actually a kids show.
Now what? I don’t know. I just have to suffer like this, probably increasingly gradually worse, until I die, and then maybe (if not probably) suffer even worse in Hell for eternity…….
What am I experiencing???? What’s wrong with me???? What is this????
I don’t want to scream, why are they trying to convince me that I need to? Their logic isn’t even, logical!

I reached out to this guy (as a friend) a couple weeks ago, and he said we should hang out sometime so I set up a day for us to hang out, (he wanted to hang out at his pool but I told him it had to be in public).
These were the texts the day before that was supposed to happen.
The texts:
HIM: Wish you were hereeee
HER: I'm really excited to see you 🥰
HIM: Ha, why's that?
HER: Haha is that weird to say
HIM: Oh no, I am glad you are Was just curious
HER: There's just a lot about you that I liked :) And i've just thought of you..
HIM: Gotcha. I don't think there should be a lot of pressure with how things ended last time. Would be really nice to see you though
HER: What do you mean?
HIM: Idk, never mind lol. Just saying I'm looking forward to meeting you but also don't want either of us to feel any pressure
HER: Pressure in what way?
HIM: Like to date or something
HER: Did you feel pressured to date last time??
HIM: No I didn't haha That's why I said never mind Anyway will be fun to see you
HER: I don't think it was a pressure thing it was just a little confusing considering how deeply you went into things towards me when I had first talked to you vs how you had acted following that. And I was more so trying to figure out which version you actually were. But that does bring back the vibe of how things felt at your place, and I do feel like it's kind of awkward to say-and I don't feel good about this. You're a nice guy Kyle, and you were the only person I had talked to at all during that whole time, so that's probably why I had formed some sort of emotional tie to you, but yeah I think this isn't a good idea. I do appreciate you for getting so clear this time.
HIM: Oh wow so no getting together tomorrow?
HER: Is this what you say to girls before your dates? I would never go out with someone who said that to me Kyle. Zero pressure to date should be everyone's expectation before a first date, but the way you said that me definitely set some intention. You should only be going out with women you're completely interested in. As I told you, i appreciate some of the great advice you given me back in November. I honestly went the best for you and your situation-and I hope you can truly find the most beautiful and kind girl you can who will have the best intentions, and I mean that. But yeah this is off and it's just always so awkward for no reason
HIM: Ok, well I'm sorry if it felt off. And no I don't, but I guess I didn't know what prompted you to message me a couple weeks ago and given that we had already been out before it's a bit of a unique situation because I thought you had written me off. So I guess was just trying to protect myself
I reached out because the father of my son moved to AZ, so I felt like my schedule would be more fair to anyone I decide to talk to. But i really felt inclined to reach out to you as a friend as I felt bad about how I left things off, and because I actually cared about you on a friend level. When you asked to see each other again, I thought I would give it a chance for a normal/real date given our last, but when it's clear that it has to be a real date and not a hot tub thing, it became "don't get any expectation from this that you'll be dating me". Which was just so out in left field and, yeaaah I have never had that kind of exchange. Humbling. Lol. But don't worry Kyle we are totally good lol. 🥰 Stay sweet!
HIM: So I think it was a miscommunication. Because how we left off, I was hurt too. And so I thought you wanted to connect as friends and then when it seemed like you were open to a date, I was open to it but just trying to protect myself. I did it all clumsily, clearly. I am sorry about that
HER: Well I may have misread signals back then too. But the protect yourself thing comes off as disinterest. I clearly liked you more than a friend. Let's just forget about all of it and not drop any text bombs that will be taken out of context! I can definitely see you were saying
HIM: Sounds good
-Haven’t heard from him since (over a week)

I'm sorry, this title is absolutely horrid. I'll try to make this make sense. I'm 62F. My stepdaughter ("K") has been in my life since she was 8. I met my late husband when I was 34 and he was 37, K is his daughter from his previous marriage. We got married when K was 11. She was close to her mother so she never considered me a mother, but we had a good relationship. Unfortunately my husband and I weren't able to have children. Just after K finished high school she got pregnant, she'd only been dating her boyfriend for a few weeks and he didn't want to stay with her. K really wanted to keep the baby though, but she was planning to go out of state for college, so we had a long talk about it. Her mother didn't want to be involved as she was very disapproving of the whole thing. She was (justifiably I suppose) angry at K for making stupid choices that could alter her future and K sort of pulled away from her after that. So I quit my job to raise her baby ("H"). K decided to switch to a college closer to home so she could visit H every weekend. She called almost everyday to see her. She was trying very hard to balance staying connected to her child and also setting up a decent future, but obviously H was much closer to me. I was with her every day until she was four and she only saw her mom once a week and on video call. I tried telling her that K was her mom and I was grandma, and she didn't call me mom, but she was closer to me.
After college K did a postgrad degree for 3 more years. Then she moved back to our city. She tried really hard to build a close relationship with H but by that time she was 7 and even though they did become close, she would always sort of come to me first for things. K was sad about this but we didn't really talk about it. Eventually K got married and H lives with them, but she visits me multiple times a week and we text every day. K's dad also passed which was really hard for both of us. So H just graduated from high school and she was selected to give a speech because she was a standout student. :) She called me and asked if it was okay if she mentions me. I said that's really sweet of her and of course. K and her husband and I went to it together. In the speech H talked about how her best childhood memories are the stories I told her, and it was really sweet. She only mentioned K in the bit at the end where you thank everyone who helped you get here and whatnot. K didn't say anything during the party but afterward she told me she felt like I always "encouraged" H to stay closer to me than her, like I was "competing" with her. She said that I wanted to be a parent so badly that I took it from her. I just want some unbiased opinions.

I’m so fucking mad. I don’t get it. My sister once again I’m pretty sure did not lay out the RECEPTS as always. Why do I know this? Cause last time she used my moms money to buy stuff with my moms permission she “would get it later from the bag” then “ oh I lost it”. Then when I asked for her to give me the RECiepts she gets all defensive and when I explain why she’s like “ I can do that myself”. Then is all like “ you’re accusing me of not paying mom back. I always do”. OKAY WELL I DONT SEE THAT. AND UNTIL I SEE THAT I WONT BELEIVE THAT considering the fact my mom has had to take the credit card from my sister for her always using it to spend on her own stuff. Not to mention. I FEEL LIKE YOU WOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN DEFENSIVE if you were honest about it. And like for fucks sake! I think my our mother, who the one making all the income has a right to know wjay we’re spending her money on. Even IF we pay her back. The fact my sister goes out of her way to avoid giving me the RECIEPTS screams red flags. I know it’s not my issue on whether she pays mom back or not but like I ALWAYS LAY OUT THE RECEIPTS FOR HER. Every time my mom goes on vacation and we use her card. GUESS WHATS NEXT TO THE MAIL WHEN SHE COMES HOME???? THE RECEIPTS. MOM. SHOULD. BE. ALLOWED. TO. GET. THE. RECEIPTS. but no. My sister must ACTIVELY go out of her way to avoid giving them to me so I can lay them out. CAUSE SHE NEVER DOES.
I’m fucking mad cause my dad says I expect my mom to pay for everything. BUT GUESS WHOS ALWAYS TELLING MOM WHAT SHES BUYING WHEN DHE USED THE VARD. ME. guess who tags along shopping when she knows moms going or mom is paying and then buys things that’s not on the list or what was said was goin to be bought. MY SISTER. guess who barely tries to problem solve when her card isn’t working so she uses mom??? MY SISYER. FOR FUVKS SAKE I SHOULD JAHE TAKEN THE CARD AND SHOVED IT IM THERE CAUSE I BET THATS ALL THAY WAS NEEDED. (I used to work as a cashier so I had that issue often) BUT NO after 3 measly tries she automatically uses moms card WHEN SHE EVEN MOST LIJELY HAS CASH.
AUGH. I’m so mad. I’m so mad IM the issues. I’m so mad IM THE PROBKEMS. on top of this. My dad EVERY MORNING ITS KUST US TWO AND I ASK TO HAVE COFFEE suggests insinuates or tells me to use the kurieg. WHEN MOM WOULD TELL ME TO USE THE POT. and my sister and brother make ME THE ISSUE when my mom would literally tell me to get myself some coffee. I CANT STAND THIS OLACE. I can’t stand it here. IM SO TIRED OF THIS OLACE. I’m tired of fearing fucking up. Or getting into petty fights with my sisters who always blames me for them and enver takes credit to her part. I’m tired of my dad telling me the opposite of what mom would say. WHY DO THEY TRY TO MAKE MY LIFE HARDER???? And I can’t tell anyone about this in my family.
AUGH I’m so stupid for opening up to my mom about how I feel about my dad and sister. I know she’s changed this past year but I bet she thinks I’m lying and exaggerating and twisting what they say (their words from last year). I’m so traumatized. And it feels like my fault. Everything feels like my fault. I want an escape. But there is none except moving out. I’m so lucky I got the job at my uni. I don’t think if manage here for the summer. With both my dad and sister. They’re like. Tag team.
It hurts no one beleives me. No oke believes what I said my dad said last year. I think my mom might believe it but I doubt it. She took his side last year. I know it’s been a year but it still fucks with me. I’m so insecure using my mom’s money. And I’m insecure when she buys she shit. I’m insecure taking my dad about the stuff she buys me cause I’m scared it’s adding onto his list of things I expect her to buy me. I TELL HER EBERYTIME I CAN PAY HER BACK. EVERYTIME. but NO she insists on paying. I was so insecure once that I thought maybe she was thing to wreck my dads relationship worh me by buying me stuff. But she’s fucking clueless to how my dad treats me and acts when she’s not around. Everyone is. I’m so alone in this family. I’m secluded. I have no one i can trust telling the shitty things mt sister and dad do. No one would believe me. I’ll be the bad guy once again and everyone will act like I’m Horrible and making shit up. Why can’t anyone beleive me?

hi no one is gonna read this but if you do i need advice. sorry for eventual mistakes, english is not my first language. i am a teenage girl and live with my mom and dad. i absolutely adore my mom, who always makes time for me between work and house related stuff, she is kind and has a good heart. my dad is an hard worker but tends to be aggressive when mad, which is almost everyday because he has a stressful job. he hasn't been really present in my life since i was like eight, i understand that he has an hard job and is working to provide for me and my mom, but he never tried to make up the lost time with us: sometimes he would show up for lunch, and come home late for dinner abd then going straight to bed. when he has a few free days (which is almost never) he goes out with his friend. my mom said that the further he is from home and us the happier he is. the biggest problem i have with him is his temper: always screaming at my mom, his brother, my grandmas and at me too, but i isolate myself when he is around and don't engage with him, so he rarely has a chance to do so now. he had a few violet outbursts, and my mom was so scared that she called me to intervene. he always has to be right, if you disagree you are so fucking wrong and he takes your opinion as an attack to his person. if you try to talk to him about your feelings you are dumb, over emotional and weak. i think you get the type of man he is, now im not saying that he is too bad, ither people have it worse, i just don't want him close to me mainly for the stuff he said and did to my mom, i don't wanna go into details because this is already too long. so everything was fine for some time, i wouldn't ingage with him, and he was always out so i didn't see him much anyway. he got sick last year. he was hospitalised a bunch of times, we thought it was cancer but it's not, his illness is curable and he is currently under treatment. but while he was at the hospital he had to go under surgery two times because his legs were numb. he is now in a clinic working on going back to his feet. when he was at the hospital and i went to visit he said sorry to me, he is in this routine where he is asking everyone around him for forgiveness because he is a "changed man" and "wants his family back". he told me that he was sorry for being absent but it was because he wanted to provide for me and when he was bossy it was for my best. i didn't say much because i didn't want to talk too much without thinking. the fact is that i don't want to forgive him. his apology was so awful and looked scripted, i belive he is apologising to everyone because he is scared he wont be able to walk again and needs my mom to be his nurse. he is always crying to my mom's mom asking her to help him take his family back, but what has my grandma got to do with anything? he needs to be better, i think he is faking and his words and action are manipulative. i don't belive him. he can't just change his whole attitude and personality. i don't think he remembers all the times he insulted me for my looks, personality and intelligence. he is always commenting on how i should try harder for school, but he isn't even at home to see what i do with my afternoons (plus i have really good grades). when he was at the hospital he wanted people near him 24/7, from 8 am to 10 pm. my mom was so tired that she almost fell asleep while driving. now that he started physiotheraphy he is having weird conversations with my mom, hinting about him staing in a wheelchair forever, he started like yesterday amd has already given up. i think he is shedding crocodile tears. i get that he went trough something traumatic and scary but i felt the same way when i was 13 and he was treathning my mother with a knife. i don't think he is fair, he always put a lot of stress onto me and i was 7 acting like an adult because he didn't give me a chance to be a kid, i always had to worry to not upset him. sorry if this doesn't make sense and there are missing pieces but it's such an huge story and ì tried to make is short. thank you to anyone who reads this. ps: i feel so silly for making an account just for this but i need opinion for outsiders

Another re-worked chapter. Far less Grand Mages to remember, just the key players this time. Worked to make their positions more clear though their dialogue and some negotiation tactics were on display here.
Zani's character is a lot less aggressive and angsty now! Not everyone got to speak, but that's ok, they were all necessary. All is good in the world.

Crisis of Faith

The seething crowd surged and bucked against the stone-faced City Guard standing at the base of the stairs of the High Sanctuary. Posters and signs waved around in the air, red and black words calling for Vesuvius Blotch to answer to imagined crimes. Forced to abandon their vehicles before arriving at the main bridge connecting Meritorious Square to the Circle, Zani, Tuck and the rest of the City Guard were struggling to make their way to the High Sanctuary itself. Cora and Sentrious enclosed the group in bubbles of air, protecting them from the onslaught of the angry crowd surrounding them. What the bubbles did not do, however, was shield them from the insults and angry voices.
“You’re liars!”
“Exile Blotch! Abolish the City Guard!”
“Burn the Vault down!”
“BipBap was killed to protect Blotch’s power!”
Zani gritted her teeth as she heard people crying for the redemption of BipBap DipDap. The man who had murdered Gravitas Flight. Argentum Chalice. Crescent Pain. A tremor ran up her body as she thought of Crescent, and her eyes fractured from tears. The man who had loved her and looked after her as his brother once had. Murdered during the siege of the High Sanctuary when Mr. Bones, the Arch-Canon of the Faceless Church, and BipBap, his accomplice, had broken in with an army of Hollow Men to steal the documents necessary for them to bring back their race of evil gods. They hadn’t succeeded, and after a long fight, Bones had fled and BipBap was dead. But it hadn’t brought back Crescent. Nothing could.
Doing her best to ignore them, she quickened her pace. Forced to make a quick detour to the Brute to swap their battle-worn attire for the more decorated version of the City Guard uniforms, they were running a few minutes late. After what seemed to have been an eternity, they made it through the crowd, making their way to the doors of the High Sanctuary, where Fenix and another group of Cleavers greeted them. Nodding their goodbyes, the rest of the City Guard detached from them and headed further into the High Sanctuary.
“Mr. Flak, anything you could provide us before going in?” Rylent asked, ever the professional, stepping to the side to allow their Cleavers through as their prisoners were escorted to the cells.
Fenix nodded, handing the commander a sheaf of papers. “The Grand Mages arrived roughly five minutes ago via motorcade. There’s five of them this time. Krytron Glass representing the English Sanctuary, Alfeim Dawn from the Italian Sanctuary, Willow Ardency from Istoria, a Mystical City, and Daemon Steel with his administrator, Aberration De Rais, both from the American Sanctuary.”
Rylent nodded, staring down at the papers. “I’ve met Krytron and Daemon. Both powerful, and they make sure you know about it when you enter a room.”
“But how they present that power differs,” Fenix added. “Krytron likes to lead the conversation, trying to learn from both sides. Daemon has a silver tongue, drawing people close to him before taking them down,” his eyes flickered over to Zani and Tuck. “Don’t underestimate him. He’s still the Grand Mage of America, and he’s known to be fiercely intelligent and ruthless.”
Zani nodded her understanding, carefully examining the administrator’s face as he spoke, trying to spot the tell-tale dark veins of possession. Even now, months after discovering the truth, Zani could hardly believe the man standing before her was a Remnant. Worse yet, the Supreme Mage, Vesuvius Blotch, was aware of it and had hidden it from everyone. Both Zani and Tuck had found it difficult to trust either of them since, and an air of nervousness and tension had developed between them.
“There are three others,” Rylent pointed out. “Aberration De Rais, Daemon’s administrator, whom we know nothing about. Willow Ardency is also an enigma to us.”
“A suitable representative of the Mystical Cities,” Fenix sighed. ‘She’s not the most forthcoming individual. From my understanding, she’s there to listen and determine the threat, and whether the Mystical Cities should get involved.”
Tuck shrugged modestly. “Zani and I have met Ms. Ardency before. She’s cool and is a reasonable woman. I can vouch for her.”
Zani grinned. “Tuck just wants to go back and learn about their sigil magic.” Tuck made a face at her.
“And then Alfeim,” Rylent’s lip curled as he brought the conversation back to the realm of relevancy. “An extremist who will honey his words with slow-acting poison. He hates mortals and anyone who opposes the idea of revealing ourselves.”
“He thinks sorcerers should run the world,” Zani guessed. “How did he become Grand Mage?”
“He was one of Erskine Ravel’s allies,” Fenix murmured, looking at his clipboard. “We weren’t able to deal with him thanks to the return of Abyssinia, the Unnamed and Mevolent. During that time, he took the opportunity to gain allies, and now he’s a weed that refuses to be pulled out.”
Rylent nodded slowly and turned to Zani and Tuck. “I want the pair of you at your best. Not only are these people important officials in our community, but I daresay they will be reporting back to other Grand Mages. We need them to see Ireland unified. Understood?”
They both nodded and Fenix beckoned them forward.
They started walking towards the Hall of Prisms. Leading them through the marble corridors, Zani followed Fenix through two doorways and into a room. Leaving the Cleavers at the doorway, Zani approached the large circular table in the centre of the room. Made of a warm oaken wood, it complemented the darker timber of the source pillars and carvings etched into the walls.
Sitting in the ornate wooden chairs on the right side of the table were most of the Grand Mages, all sitting apart, hoping to avoid appearing as a unified force. Vesuvius had opted for the opposite effect, having his Grand Mages, Maltese Farrell and Veritas Lamarian, sit beside him on the left side.
Out of all of the foreign Grand Mages, only Daemon Steel had bothered to sit near Ireland’s Supreme Mage, sitting on an angle with one arm draped across the back of the chair beside him. The caricature of peace and embodiment of calm. He was wearing a white suit, universally a statement of peace, complete with a crimson kerchief folded perfectly into his pocket over his heart, a stag stitched into it. His family crest.“Ahh, the Prime Detectives of the Irish Sanctuary,” Daemon announced with a grin full of teeth. “We were just being informed that you were on your way. Is Roarhaven giving you a struggle?”
“Not at all, Grand Mage Steel,” Tuck answered smoothly. “We were simply making sure we looked our best before being graced by your presence.”
The man beside Daemon scoffed. “Come now, Mr. Pock. Roarhaven is a magnificent place, filled with everything you could ever need in a city, magic or otherwise. And I must congratulate Ireland on being the first to take the initiative.” Dressed in a navy blue striped suit, his blonde hair combed to one side and deep green eyes, Zani surmised this was the mysterious Aberration De Rais, Daemon Steel’s administrator. She tried to hide the shiver she felt when he looked up at her, feeling those green eyes piercing through her.
“But putting all these sorcerers into one place,” Daemon continued, “can surely create issues,” he moved his index finger from side-to-side. “An elemental has an argument with an enhancer. A bone-breaker poked the wrong chest. A sensitive was caught peeking into someone’s mind. I wouldn’t blame you if you were perhaps a little under the pressure.”
“We’ve been able to handle all incidents so far, sir,” Zani said calmly, grateful to have an excuse to look anywhere but at Aberration. “But we thank you for your concern. It doesn’t go unnoticed.”
Daemon nodded, seemingly satisfied. As Zani, Tuck and Rylent took their seats, the man sitting opposite of Vesuvius rose. His immense shadow stretched across the room, the charcoal double-breasted suit and pants he’d decided to combine with a black pork-pie hat allowing him to blend into the sun as it pierced through the window behind him, blocking his face from them. A perfect style for a man in mourning, a man preparing for murder or for a man conducting serious business. Zani noted the white-grey gloves he had on, and decided upon the third option.
“Gentleman. Ladies,” the man in the charcoal suit inclined his head towards them all, and Zani saw a weathered face of hard lines, framed by flowing dark hair that curled at his shoulders. His eyes, a translucent blue, gave off the illusion that he was blind. She realised she was staring at Krytron Glass, head of the English Sanctuary.
“First, I believe a thanks is in order to Supreme Mage Blotch, for welcoming him into his city,” he nodded at Vesuvius. “Roarhaven truly has not received the justice it deserves from the tales I have heard about it. It is far more magnificent in person.”
Vesuvius nodded his acknowledgement, a professional smile set on his face.
“However, we have also been worried. Being the first sorcerer city, we can only imagine how hard it is to maintain. It’s hard enough dealing with sorcerers in the general public. But when they’re all in one place? A nightmare, I am sure.”
Zani had missed the last part of Krytron’s sentence. After hearing him describe Roarhaven as the ‘first’ sorcerer city, she couldn’t help but look at the only other woman in the room, Willow Ardency. She’d pursed her lips in disapproval, but hadn’t interrupted. She wasn’t one to rise to petty squabbles. Zani couldn’t help but admire the other woman. Her red hair, which was bunched up in a tight bun, paired with her sharp cheekbones and narrow glasses, gave her the appearance of a high school teacher ready to scold her students for messing about. Zani smiled. Though it had been many years since they’d last met, Willow hadn’t changed her style.
“Roarhaven has been standing for twenty-two years,” Vesuvius said calmly. “It has survived multiple onslaughts and battles, and has not been discovered by any mortal. We remain firm to this day.”
“Though you are not incorrect in saying these things, Vesuvius, the mere fact that these onslaughts occurred are worrisome.” A man in crimson robes spoke up. With bushy eyebrows, long grey hair and a goatee, Alfeim Dawn was one of the rare sorcerers that actually looked old. “Since Roarhaven became a city, it has been the breeding ground for every catastrophe in the past twenty-two years. Charivari laid siege upon its walls, Darquesse destroyed a considerable part of it, the Anti-Sanctuary set their plans in motion with the help of Irish Sanctuary staff, the daughter of the Unnamed attempted to reveal magic to the world and attacked this very building we stand in. An alternative Dimension’s Mevolent broke through into this Dimension and almost brought back the Dark Gods. Then, Damocles Creed, who was allowed to be the Supreme Mage of Roarhaven, tried bringing back the Dark Gods. Finally, the Unnamed of all people reappeared after centuries of activity, believed to be dead, and tried burning it to the ground. He killed countless individuals, surpassing Darquesse and including Skulduggery Pleasant, Valkyrie Cain and the remaining Dead Men,” Alfeim leaned forward in his seat, staring intently at Vesuvius. “It is by mere luck that the Unnamed and Mevolent ended their battle by simultaneously killing each other. Now we hear of a new threat attempting to do the same thing. Roarhaven has become the security risk that we all feared. I have no wish to fear-monger or stir trouble here. This is our reality, and something needs to be done.”
“Alfeim is right,” Krytron said, sounding as if he’d have rather said anything else but agree with his fellow Grand Mage. “Roarhaven City has become unstable and,” he bowed his head to Vesuvius, Veritas and Maltese, “with no disrespect to the residing Irish Council, I fear that the task has become a burden. As the leaders of the magical community, it is our responsibility that each and every Sanctuary does not collapse under pressure. We must help each other.”
“Your words sound kind,” Maltese said. “But they carry a similar sentiment that Bernard Sult, Quintin Strom and Illori Reticent all carried. They promised support, help, and a stabilising hand. That was not the case.”
Alfeim bristled. “Do not equate us to them. It was the understanding of the various Sanctuaries that the Supreme Council had been gathered to help. I am not a puppeteer and my beliefs did not align with their own. Many of us around the table still believe that the Supreme Council could be a hand of peace rather than a force of hostility.”
“The Supreme Council was disbanded.” Vesuvius pointed out.
“No, they weren’t,” Alfeim retorted. “They were murdered. Assassinated, under the orders of Erskine Ravel, the Irish Grand Mage at the time, after he killed his closest friends. Then, they were replaced by sympathizers of the Irish Sanctuary.”
“They were not Irish sympathisers,” Vesuvius said, anger biting into his tone. “Erskine Ravel was a terrorist who wanted the subjugation of mortals in the hopes of placing sorcerers in power. He had no help from the Irish Sanctuary, nor its populace.”
“You say this, but we are currently in a City built by an army of Irish individuals who believed in his vision,” Alfeim said with a smile, placing his palms on the table. “A city filled with many who desired his preferred outcome. Regardless of whether you, or your colleagues, had any part to play, what is true is that Erskine Ravel, an Irish Grand Mage, manipulated us into a war, committed an overtly hostile act upon numerous Grand Mages from various Sanctuaries, replaced them with his supporters and attempted to take control. Then, his successor, China Sorrows, replaced his supporters with her own, and threatened and blackmailed those that did not accept her tyranny. The Irish Council appears to be garnering a penchant for this kind of behaviour and it has driven a barrier between Ireland and the rest of the world.”
His words had the intended effect. Vesuvius’s eyes glittered with anger, and Veritas looked at the Italian Grand Mage, his jaw clenched. “You cannot speak as if other Sanctuaries have not used the past few years to their advantage, Alfeim Dawn,” he emphasised the Grand Mages name, drawing a sharp glare from him. “And you say that you were manipulated. I’d say you were given the excuse.”
“Gentlemen,” Willow said, an edge of warning in her tone. “We’re here to discuss our future and work together,” she leaned forward. “I am Willow Ardency, the representative High Mage of Istoria, one of the three great Mystical Cities. I realise I am new here, but having lived in Istoria all my life, I cannot express enough the importance of peace. Too many times throughout history, the Sanctuaries - or their sorcerers - have fought, and it has always led to ruin. It was a conflict between the German and the French sorcerers that created the Cazadores de Demonios. For a time, magic was truly discovered by a small group who proceeded to track down and murder any they believed to be wielding magic. It was the conflict between the Asian Emperors and the European Kings of the magical communities after the fall of the Unnamed that gave Mevolent time to rise up and gain the power he needed to challenge us. The War of the Sanctuaries allowed Erskine Ravel his chance at exposing magic to the world, and he very nearly succeeded.”
Krytron nodded. “Ms Ardency is correct. Vesuvius, please understand that we have no hostility towards you. From what we’ve heard, you’ve been an excellent Grand Mage, with a supportive Council to aid you. We do not believe that you are capable of these acts, but we are all concerned that you may be feeling a bit… stressed with everything happening with the Disciples, your rogue City Guard and the criminal element within the City. We want to help.”
“Krytron makes a good point, Vesuvius,” Daemon murmured, tilting his head towards the Irish Grand Mage. “We will all suffer if a Cradle of Magic falls. Especially if magic is revealed in the process.”
“It almost was,” Alfeim pointed out. “We all felt it, didn’t we? That rush of magic that went through us. The boost of power?”
Zani considered what Alfeim said. After the Battle of the Circle, scientists and the City Guard had analysed the Dark Cathedral, where the Disciples had made their final stand. There, they recovered the body of Valkyrie Cain, impaled by the thought-to-be-lost God-Killer Sword in order to combine the lingering magic of Gog Magog with Valkyrie’s inherited blood and energy from her ancestors, the Faceless Ones. The ancient magical energies combined, creating and feeding the portal that had opened beside her. It had been believed to have been a portal for the Faceless Ones to come through. Instead, it had merely been a tool to channel the magical energies into the Rifts surrounding their Dimension. The rush of magic had been so potent that it had shattered the High Sanctuary’s shield, only adding to the magical chaos.
“We’ve definitely seen its effects, haven't we?” Zani snapped back into focus as Alfeim continued to speak. “Statues once thought to have been carved from mortal hands have shed their stone skins and begun walking around after centuries. Elementals out of time and unknowing of our new customs and practices. People who weren’t aware of their abilities suddenly flying, throwing fire, turning invisible, breaking their friends bones at the slightest touch. Children with access to every magical discipline known and unknown who previously only had a small dose of each now have their magic amplified. Children,” Alfeim slapped his hand on the desk for emphasis. “This was done under Vesuvius’ watch. On Irish soil. Clearly, the Irish Sanctuary can’t be trusted to run itself. Maybe it requires an overseer.”
Daemon Steel tapped a finger on the desk. Zani watched him. As the American Grand Mage, he held a lot of power. A lot of influence. “I can’t say that I am a student of the arts. Certainly not history. But sorcerers have never been terribly fond of oversight. Re-establishing the Supreme Council appears to be a poor move. It would destroy any goodwill we’ve established over the past few years, and it only takes a few bad actors to drag it to its knees. The Sanctuaries remaining independent was done for a reason. To reduce the number of sorcerers in a single area and reduce the chance of us being spotted. Doing this would achieve the opposite. Surely there’s an easier path?”
“I agree,” Vesuvius said. “Oversight and bureaucracy leads to corruption, agendas and rivalry. We do not need to be governed, overseen or babied. We have dealt with every situation that has come our way, and we will continue to do so.”
Krytron held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Nothing has been decided yet, Vesuvius, but you must see our point. The Irish Sanctuary has been at the epicenter of almost every catastrophe in the last three decades. None of us are doubting your strength, your commitment or your ability to run the Sanctuary or to protect your subjects from mortals. But even the strongest pillar can weaken and crumble under pressure. We have to think about the implications beyond Ireland. What sort of ramifications that other Sanctuaries will suffer if you fail.”
“You speak of history,” Maltese spoke up. “But you seem to be content with ignoring ours. You have mentioned every battle and impossibility we’ve faced, but neglected to speak of our victories. Our Sanctuary has been tested and it succeeded. Over and over again,” he gestured to Alfeim. “I am in control of relations across other Sanctuaries. Economic and otherwise.”
“You must be good with PR, then.” Alfeim smirked. Maltese ignored the challenge.
“Many Sanctuaries have admitted to experiencing problems of their own. Wayward sorcerers and accidental reveals of magic to the public. Not only are we far from being the only ones that have suffered tribulations, but we’ve also overcome them.”
“You say this, but I’ve heard differently from your mages,” Alfeim pointed out. He turned to Daemon. “And yours. As well as others,” Alfeim’s voice took on a mocking tone. “There is unrest among the populaces. They haven’t forgotten the War of the Sanctuaries, or what occurred afterwards.”
Vesuvius shook his head. “You keep referring to the Supreme Council and the War of the Sanctuaries, but I believe I’ve made it clear that I do not need to be governed. I don’t need to be looked after. We have this handled and we have this settled. The Disciples are losing ground and their threat is diminished. Mr. Bones is on the run and his accomplices have been dealt with.”
“Dealt with?” Alfeim echoed, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Is that what you’d call it? How about I let people who are more knowledgeable than I talk about how well you ‘dealt’ with them.”
The Grand Mages in the room all turned as Fletcher and Skafflock walked into the room, ushered in by Fenix. Zani’s fist curled and she felt a snarl in her throat. Tuck reached over and grabbed her hand, his eyes burning with anger.
Daemon sighed. “Is this necessary, Alfeim? We all have political struggles back at home. This is stretching our jurisdiction, even if we did have a Supreme Council.”
“We were told that we were required to be here,” Fletcher said. His eyes swept the room and Zani watched as his mouth tightened as they landed on Vesuvius.
“We’d like for you both to tell us about the Disciples,” Alfeim’s eyes flickered to Skafflock. “Starting with you.”
Fenix started forward, but Vesuvius raised a hand, stopping him. Skafflock nodded. “I’m Skafflock and I worked for Mr. Bones.”
“Worked?” Alfeim said incredulously. “From what we’ve been told, you kidnapped a young teleporter, who would later be possessed by a remnant in the hopes that he opened up a portal for the Faceless Ones to come through, you were part of the attack on the Irish Sanctuary and you murdered a Grand Mage. Yet, you remain free, in the constant presence of Vesuvius,” the Italian Grand Mage turned to Blotch. “Your duty is to ensure the protection of your colleagues and subordinates. In order to fulfill your obligations as Head of this Sanctuary, you must seek necessary justice.”
“Vesuvius, I realise this is all personal,” Daemon said sympathetically, “but we’ve received reports that you, Ms. Skafflock, Mr. Flak and Mr. DipDap and Mr. Bones were all close in your childhood. Do you believe this has clouded your judgement?”
Vesuvius stiffened. “I believe not. And to clarify, Mr. Bones was never a friend of ours.”
“But BipBap was,” Krytron rumbled. “A man that fought for Mevolent. Developed technology for him. Your political opponent for many years. Do not think we missed the rioting and chanting outside. What they were saying. BipBap’s death has made him a martyr. He stoked the flames of discontent and if you are not careful, you will burn.”
“His death may not just be unfortunate, but the conclusion of a conspiracy engineered by Vesuvius Blotch to rid himself of any opponents,” Alfeim said, motioning at Vesuvius. “Not only this, but Horizon, the Necromancer’s High Priest, has left Roarhaven and Ash, an incredibly influential man within Roarhaven, was killed by the Arch-Canon. Over the course of two weeks, the individuals capable of keeping the Supreme Mage,” his lip curled as he used the exclusive title of the Irish Head of Council, “were killed or driven away. Is this not suspicious?”
“You believe I’m capable of doing such a thing,” Vesuvius growled, barely containing his rage. “I have done nothing to -”
“We don’t believe that you’d do something like that,” Krytron said, shooting Alfeim a glare. “But we can’t help but noticed that Ms. Skafflock is free, numerous individuals are dead and the main culprit is still loose. This doesn’t look good for the other Sanctuaries.”
Fletcher shook his head in disgust. “I was brought here under the belief that something was getting done. But another Supreme Council? It’s just another step backwards. My son needs me and I’m not spending another second in this woman’s presence.” With that, he teleported away, leaving an awkward silence in his wake.
“If I may,” Willow tapped on the table for attention. “From what I’ve heard about BipBap DipDap, he was a cunning individual capable of causing a lot of harm. I do remember him from the War, and it would appear he did not change. But you all neglect to name his other, and I dare say his primary characteristic. His intellect. Have you not considered the possibility that he was engineering things? Keeping his involvement hidden and at a minimum to fool the masses? By targeting the Vampires in the Fangs and the Necromancers in their Temple, BipBap drove two hated groups out of Roarhaven. In one fell swoop, he deprived Vesuvius of powerful allies and garnered favour in those that never wanted those groups in Roarhaven to begin with. See how easy it was for me to spin the story the other way with so little information? Yet, you wish to spin it another. You are taking the narrative for your own purposes and connecting dots that shouldn’t be connected.”
Alfeim bristled. “Do not presume to tell us what we are doing right and wrong, Ms. Ardency. You have lived in Istoria for a very long time. Of course, I will forgive you for not understanding our way of doing things, but with the Sanctuaries, when one fails, we all fall with it.”
Willow pursed her lips. “I’ll ignore your arrogance. You claim his death was Vesuvius’ fault, but the reports made it quite clear that it was his administrator, Mr. Flak, that dealt the mortal blow.”
Fenix rose from his chair. “It’s true. We were once friends. And it’s also true that I killed him. Vesuvius did not engineer anything, nor did he wish for his death. It was a necessary evil in the midst of combat as we fought the Disciples and prevented them from bringing back their Gods. We were successful and we forced them to run. We are capable of doing this ourselves.”
“Interesting,” Aberration said softly. “So you were the one who saved the day? Perhaps it is not the city but certain people that require a closer examination. In this case, perhaps this task is more suited for Vesuvius than a council. That way, the Supreme Mage can snuff out any,” he tilted his head to the side, “remnants of corruption and problematic situations without worrying about international law.”
Fenix stiffened in his chair and Zani narrowed her eyes. She looked at the man, his green eyes staring up at a shocked Fenix. There was silence around the table, until Alfeim made a noise of annoyance. “So what you’re saying is, we should let Vesuvius run his own internal investigation and come back to us later?”
“What he’s saying,” Daemon leant forward, breaking the levity, “is that it is not possible for us to blame Vesuvius for everything that has happened. Almost all the grievances you’ve raised at the table today occurred under the rule of other people. Erskine Ravel almost exposed magic to the mortals. China Sorrows was the tyrant. The Supreme Mage - and I agree that the title may be a tad on the nose - you’re going after has done none of these things, and in fact, has given autonomy back to the various Sanctuaries that Ms. Sorrows had under her thumb. In the past three years he has ruled, Vesuvius has done quite well. We have had no reason to be alarmed. It would be ludicrous of us to believe that one single event should be allowed to dictate a Grand Mage’s rule, particularly if that event was started by someone antagonistic to Vesuvius.”
There was silence now, and Zani noticed that the American Grand Mage had had an effect on the Grand Mages, many now looking at the Supreme Mage with a new understanding on their faces.
“Well,” Krytron said, “I didn’t realise the Americans and the Irish had such a good rapport. For now, this meeting will be adjourned. Yes, Grand Mage Alfeim,” Krytron said, cutting off the other man’s protests, “there will be no more talk of this until our next meeting. This meeting has gone on long enough.”
Zani stood up, watching the other Grand Mages shaking hands and leaving through the doorway with their security forces. Zani rubbed her eyes. So many weeks of planning so that these men and women could meet, all for this to end with no solutions being made. Just as he’d told her it would end.
“Zani, Tuck, a word,” Vesuvius said, beckoning the Prime Detectives over. “I know you have a lot on your plate. But -.”
“Aberration De Rais,” Tuck said. “You think he knows about Fenix? Sensed his Soul?”
“I can’t be sure, but what he said didn’t amuse me one bit,” Vesuvius muttered. “If he does know, that will cause trouble.”
“Can we just kill him?” Fenix asked, his eyes flinty and hardened.
“And risk the Americans' wrath when they appear to be on our side?” Vesuvius said. “No, we have to deal with this diplomatically.”
“Could we persuade him to keep it to himself?” Skafflock asked. “Or convince him that Fenix was just affected by the Boosting Event?”
Zani shook her head, her mind racing. “None of those will work, but there’s no reason to be alarmed. He has no evidence, and with such a giant claim, he’d need a lot of it to make it a convincing one. In a way, the political tensions amongst the Sanctuaries may work in your favour. People may just see it as an odd way of trying to turn people against you,” she looked out the window next to them, where she could see the protesters getting more violent and physical. “Well, more than they already are.”
“Thank you, Ms. Elandra. No need to extend your observations,” Vesuvius replied curtly, then sighed. “Excellent. Just another problem to deal with. But that’s for the near future. I’ll receive Rylent’s report and we’ll discuss our next steps regarding the Guardians of Supremacy. But even that pales in comparison to what this meeting revealed. I was drawing information out from the other Grand Mages during the meeting and…” Vesuvius hesitated. “It’s not good. Alfeim is seeking the resurrection of the Supreme Council in light of recent events. Krytron is contemplating whether it will serve the interests of other Sanctuaries.”
“What about Daemon Steel?” Maltese enquired and Vesuvius shook his head.
“I couldn’t get any sort of information from Daemon. His posture was open but conflicted. His words are supportive but without any incentive or benefit for him. I don’t know where he truly lies.”
“It’s possible he truly is on your side” Zani suggested. “Sir, if I may, the crowds are growing restless. May I…”
“Yes, yes,” Vesuvius said. “Go.”
Zani nodded her goodbyes and left, walking back outside to the roaring crowds, screaming and chanting their fury, wanting to be heard, teeth bared and gnashing. She saw her colleagues; Mercury, Clay, Roland and Whetstone all part of the line of City Guards and Cleavers keeping the protesters at bay. She watched as they were spat at, punched and screamed at. Her colleagues, who had worked so hard to keep the community safe. She watched as a man raised his hand and conjured a fireball. A woman’s hands started shimmering and another’s eyes started to glow. Her heart broke for the city she’d fallen in love with. A city that had given her a new start. A fresh purpose. Managing to evade the angry crowd through a side-door, Zani slipped further and deeper into the city, she cleared her mind, eradicating emotion and belief. An empty vessel. Just as he’d taught her. Reaching a warehouse, she stepped into the gloom and waited for her eyes to adjust. Standing in the middle of the warehouse, surrounded by training dummies, a boxing ring and various obstacle courses was a large man with his arms crossed.
“Zani,” Brichard said, his voice like thunder. “Are you ready?”
Zani looked at Brichard. Her instructor. Her mentor. “I am.”

Good day, everyone!
I am a rare poster here from the Philippines. One of my cats, Bell, had four kittens. She lost (or abandoned) one, leaving my family with three kittens.
The problem now lies with how small/thin the kittens are. They're roughly a month now and they seem so small. We suspect that Bell isn't producing much milk for all of them, but can't confirm. My parents don't want to bring them to the vet (they want to let nature take its course of who lives and dies), so I'm in a rough spot.
I can understand where they're coming from, since we've shelled out a lot of cash for end-of-care for our last two cats + funeral, a cremation for one stray cat, and currently paying off debts.
I'm currently broke and won't be able to earn until next month. The best I'm managing is giving the kittens goat milk substitute, though I don't know what else to do out of going to the vet.
I am currently feeding them cat dry food (cat mom) and goat milk (kittens). Any advice on what else to feed cat mom and her kittens are appreciated!
Thanks!

So I left my job (dog daycare) about 3 weeks ago due to basically having a mental breakdown (was the week of mom’s passing anniversary and my grandpa had just passed the week prior as well as some autoimmune problems I deal with that cause me to be super depressed), I worked there for almost 10 months and was a really good employee, maintained good attendance and did my job well I feel. I left very suddenly and mid shift because of how I was feeling and my manager felt really bad because he understood I was having a lot going on and said that I could have told him and that he was glad I worked there.
Fast forward 3 weeks i’m regretting leaving the job how I did (i’ve never walked out of a job before, always give my 2 weeks), and asked him if it was possible to return super part time. He hasn’t answered at all (it was sent a day ago) and has since disabled the scheduling part of our app so i’m thinking he does not want to rehire me but am unsure how to handle it since I really did love that job.
Sorry for the long explanation folks just want some insight as there’s nobody else I can ask:(