Cute cupcake ideas

So basically… we met on reddit, we made new accounts, we talked everyday, he was going to come see me, I was super stoked.
Naturally lots of fear involved there- do we look like we do on camera? Why if smells are off etc. I asked some questions on here about that.
I also was wildly hyperbolic with things to play the devils advocate and try to illicit responses from other redditors, instead of just saying my actual situation, because I’m a shitty agitator and this is my ultimate fucking karma.
Also, tons of the things I was saying from ‘my perspective’ was actually my friends stories, because they’re doing absolutely batshit stuff right now, like declaring they’re going to date ‘below average attractive men’ (4/10) to be worshipped basically. I thought it was nuts and horribly unfair to those men, but then I thought maybe I’m crazy, so I purposed questions about their situations as mine— and he read it and thought it was about him.
So basically. I’m fucked. I don’t know if this is the sub for this.
I’d never had a connection with someone like I did with him before. I’m terrified I never will again. I don’t really believe in soulmates, but I kind of thought he was mine. He’s cute as hell, so much did made me super nervous, and now he thinks that I think HE’S A 4?!?!?! and I can’t fix it.
So now, before I could explain or anything, he’s blocked me on everything— and like, that’s fair, but I can’t leave him thinking the stuff that was about him when most of it wasn’t!
Any idea how I fix this?
TLDR: guy I was seeing found my Reddit account, saw post that seemed to be about him (some were but hyperbolically, like I lied about my profession to try stay anonymous)- and some were literally about my friends being awful and me trying to get perspective on their situations… now he’s blocked me while having the wrong info, how do I make this right?

How to be a better person/partner
I (20F)have been seeing someone (24M) for a few months now. And everything has been smooth. Except for the fact that I’m about to lose my shit due to my own rumination about his past that is making me withdraw from him. I have not been in a “relationship” before. I sure did see sb but it was more like “hanging out” for a very short period. And talked to sb after that which Ofc didn’t work out. But I am an incurable romantic. So much that I have always believed in finding the “one” or my soulmate and other ideas. And in doing so, I place so much value in “firsts” I think the idea of love I had as a kid/teenager never outgrew me and I have always craved for sth of that sort.
However, my partner has had gfs before. And now I can’t help but be hyper-fixated at his exes. I can’t help but have my mind throw me images of them doing cute relationship things, things that I have always wanted to do with someone I loved. And the mental image of him being with somebody else the way he is with me now hurts me so deeply I have been having sleepless nights just breaking down. And the point being, him and I meet so infrequently (due to our situation) it makes me feel insecure and even petty which makes me so sad like an immature kid. That he got all those experiences with someone else. And he is my first, but I am not getting those experiences with him. I hate that even his parents have met w the ex and that they were friends for a very long time. I hate that sb else got everything I want from him. I can’t help but wonder if he has ran outta the young madly-in-love era and now just wants a more practical relationship to be in with. And I don’t wanna just be a placeholder for somebody for when they want to settle down, I wanna be loved wildly too. And it doesn’t help that I’m an incurable romantic but I never got the chance to have all that experiences.
I have considered breaking up with him over this, because I feel like my needs are not being met. I have been wishing that I met him later after my fair share of experiences so that we are even and he doesn’t get any upper hand on me and it’s making me feel like a monster. I don’t wanna bring this up to him again because I’ll be using sth very personal of him against him. Just because we are together doesn’t mean I own him. I love him, and I don’t want him to feel bad just so I can get my share of validation by bringing sth that happened in his past that might have hurt him or doesn’t matter to him anymore. And honestly, I don’t want him to see me as this ugly person I have turned into. Why is it that I downplay all my feelings for anyone else that came before him but really magnify all his past relationships. I want to get rid of this mindset. Because unless sb was living under a rock and especially in my age, a lot many people will have had their experiences already.
I want to stop feeding into my compulsive thinking and be happy in the moment. I want to treat him with grace and be happy that he got to experience love in his life before meeting me too. I want to stop letting this affect me so much that I often feel so distant with him on my own. I need somebody to snap me out of this negative thinking loop and actually start being more grateful for him, for now. I don’t want to ruin our relationship with my jealousness. I am so lost and it has made me so ill I feel like a shell of a person. Please help me find some new perspective about romantic relationships because honestly I think romanticism has fucked me up so bad. What should I do?

Bunch of home body fake socializers who make up stuff and act for their audience watching. The creators are the worst. Either a cute girl who is toxic or a wimpy guy participating in female drama. Those are the faces of twitch. Is twitch a good idea? Cable was a good idea so what happened? We gave everyone a platform to reach celebrity status with 0 effort. Your next door neighbor you never see is making thousands of dollars a day off their camera and personality. It's ridiculous. All they do is complain and talk about how much they care about Pal-estine. Pbbbttt. Bull shit. You don't care stop being a piece of shit and stop caring if you aren't gonna even try to become a soldier, I tried and failed but it's a lot more than anyone on twitch has ever tried to do for anything happening outside or within their country. Fuck Twitch!

I woke up with some energy today! Well no, well yes but no. I didn’t get out of bed til a bit after 9 but I was technically replying to work messages on my phone sooo… it doesn’t help, I’m still bad. But it was SO cold and I was SO toasty all rolled up in my duvet, I’m just a mere human after all. But I feel like after I got up and got ready and stuff I had better energy levels so that’s made me feel super happy. And hopeful, tbh. Sometimes I feel like I’m going to feel drained 24/7 for the rest of my life, to the point where I was thinking well even if I wanted a child would I be any good considering how I feel so often? So I do worry about it a bit.
I slept in clothes last night, like leggings and a top I mean, because I woke up to an earthquake so as per always I immediately got up and put clothes on. I’ve never really been a naked sleeper but the last few months I have been, idk why? I go through phases of stuff like this though. Anyway so then my anxiety meant I couldn’t stop shaking all over my body and I was stressy even though it wasn’t big but because I was trembling all over I kept stressing further because they felt like more earthquakes. Anyway I eventually fell back asleep.
I’m genuinely starting to think I should just go back to the EA sort of career path. I went to HR because I figured there’s more opportunity for growth, would be more interesting/varied work etc etc. But based purely on salaries… EA’s can earn way more? At least in in certain situations, obviously not all. But for example for work I’m reviewing a role for a position and so having read through the cases details there’s a woman my age as an EA earning $120k and I read through the PD and I was doing all that for multiple directors in my London job and she’s doing it for one. And I was good at it and that’s ME saying I’m good at it. It just seems like for less work/knowledge you can earn more. And tbh at this rate I don’t enjoy HR, sometimes I did but lately I don’t. I don’t know if that’s a result of my general mood/self, a result of my environment or whatever it might be. I also admittedly wanted to move from away EA type work because I found it embarrassing to say when someone asked what I did, idk why because it’s a perfectly respectable job but there’s kind of a stereotype that goes with EA’s/PA’s I guess, probably more so when you’re a young woman but also idk, it just sounds so admin-y. But then what, my bright idea was to move to HR?! Where there’s an even bigger stereotype - like an ACTUAL one and people just seem to have some kind of prejudice against the entire department and idk. And you have to deal with emotional stuff like people losing their jobs, harassment/bullying claims, parents having stillborns and other bereavements in general. So you have all that, mixed with having to apply legislation and internal policies against every conversation and decision etc etc etc. And that’s just the advisory stuff, then there’s project work, transactional crap that I’ve been lumped with lately because the junior team members don’t seem to be doing anything and my manager has instead asked me to handle it as opposed to getting the juniors to get their shit together. I don’t really like saying the S word, it seems yuck coming off my tongue/brain. Anyway. So being an EA… idk. You organise someone’s professional life aka their inbox and calendar, you prep them for meetings etc, you plan dinners/lunches and workshops etc, you get invoices signed off, you book travel… that’s basically it. It can obviously vary but at the heart of it that’s what they do. Some more senior ones will do a bit more/be more involved but barely. And here they are earning like $30k more than me. I don’t intend to imply I could easily do their job, I realise they’re highly skilled and good at what they do - it’s not an entry level role, but I’ve DONE IT. And not only that but I helped run the office, I was also EA to the general counsel, I booked international events and planned them and I was trusted in being the Chairman’s go to when he was in London and he was a literal billionaire which doesn’t mean he’s any better or anything, but I mean I would think they have a certain expectation? Tbh they probably just took pity on me and wanted to make me feel helpful or something. Idk. Anyway. I think all of this is simply because I’m fed up with work and being used as a gap filler purely because I have a better understanding of certain systems/processes like I have a better understanding for a reason - because I blimmin well DO THEM. So if others would get off their high horse and pitch in they would too. Anyway I think I’d get bored of the lack of variety within EA type work and if I’m going to spend 40+ hours in a job I want to at least somewhat enjoy it/find it interesting. I used to want a job I felt passionate about, but I kind of just don’t think I’m someone who will have that and I’m kind of making my peace with that now. I am absolutely a work to live person, not the other way around. I just want to be somewhat interested in my work, be paid fairly/well enough and work with people I like/don’t dislike. I wish I was someone with a passion for something and the brain to match, like the doctors in House, but I don’t have that burning interest in anything really and I also don’t have the brain for super specialist kind of work or anything anyway. Anyway.
I think I’m also just PMSy, hence my probably unfair lashing out in the earlier paragraph. But I just wrote a message to my manager and had to stop myself crying? And someone just did something for me workwise and it made me upset? It probably also doesn’t help I’m listening to mopey old radiohead.
M and her friend left the living room in such a tip. Like fast food trash on the side tables and stuff. So not a tip but still kind of gross. I think I just find her gross sometimes, but less so her and more so the men she brings here. I’m sure they’re nice enough and stuff but they’re just so… yuck? I sound like such a raging bitch I know but whatever. And sleeping with two different guys in three days, I mean on the one hand whatever I don’t care at all and I definitely don’t think less of her, but it’s just gross to me? I know I’m very much a one man at a time kind of girl though and I never had a properly single phase, like I’ve been single for ages but I mean the actively dating/sleeping with guys and stuff, I never had that phase. I think it’s because I’m a frigid prude with zero self esteem, but zero self esteem in the sense I would rather be alone than risk my feelings being hurt. Anyway.
I kind of feel silly sometimes wearing makeup when wfh and not leaving the house but then I remember the panic and guilt I feel when I barely touch the thousands of dollars worth of makeup in my collection so… here we are. Wearing it all more often has made me feel way better. Also makes me learn what I do and don’t like in my collection, eg I currently prefer an eyeliner to a bit of eyeshadow along the lash line. I go through phases of that though. Anyway. Today I’m wearing a warmer base and it’s becoming really clear to me I’m not quite as cool of an undertone as I thought. I just find it hard to not see the surface redness, but like my neck/décolletage is a fair milky kind of pale, but in a neutral olive way not in a pinky way. Like yesterday I looked so stupid, I mean I blended it well so you couldn’t reeeeally tell but the undertone of my base was so wrong. Which is annoying because majority of fair base shades are cool/pink toned and I’ve spent an embarrassing amount on foundations with those undertones. Even when I buy neutral they seem to look too pink on me? Idk. Anyway I’m wearing one that actually matches me today undertone wise and it looks wayyy better. I should probably chuck my other ones but I mean, they’re practically unused Armani/NARS/Charlotte Tilbury/Estée Lauder etc and that pains me. Then again it would pain me more to wear the incorrect base… ugh.
I’m wearing my MM by the fireplace perfume today, it makes me feel so warm & cosy, like I’m a little candle or something.
I’m back in my psychedelic furs phase. I don’t love all their stuff, that I’ve listened to, but the obsession I had a few years ago with love my way was a whole new level of obsession. I still loveeeeee it.
I had a lazy fried rice for lunch today - brown rice with eggs & frozen veggies mixed in. It was yum enough. I feel too full now.
I’m so ugly, ugly ugly uglyyy. Or rather I feel ugly ugly ugly.
My adore order arrived today and so I got a lil tim tam and yummmmmm. I didn’t buy anything exciting though which I now regret but don’t regret. I just got moisturiser top ups as mine are running low - boooooooooring.
I’ve had a real new wave kind of afternoon music wise.
He makes me so happy :) He showed me the cutest video today of some puppies, okay so like a couple will put their hands on top of one another and then the dog will too! It’s so precious. I can’t wait to be puppy parents with him! I feel like me choosing to not have social media means I do miss out on lots of cute things like that which kinda sucks a lot but oh well - I just don’t think having ig or any of those things would be good for me and I also don’t want to share my life with anyone? Like if I want to share things about me then I’ll tell you, and there are like ten people in the world (or less) who I care to share with anyway - and that includes my family. I do want more friends though. But so anyway.
I felt pretty good earlier, now it’s 7:18pm and I don’t feel like that anymore.
I wish I wasn’t so ugly. I just had a big pathetic cry about it and now I’m late.
Shower time I guess, bye.

The sun-dappled forest exuded a serene yet peaceful tranquility, remaining undisturbed from common occurrences. Trees motionless stood unperturbed by the elements of the weather. Gentle rivers meandered, carrying tiny fish and pebbles in their currents. Birds serenaded each other from atop their nests, singing songs to their young and to their lovers.
The peaceful landscape remained undisturbed until a deafening roar suddenly shattered the tranquility. The powerful eruption shook the trees, rippled the waters, and startled flocks of birds into a panicked flight. Contrary to the ominous disruption, the source of the booming sound was not from a fearsome predator that roamed the land nor a monstrous creature that invoked fear and terror to the wildlife, but rather a small, orange-haired girl with horns as long as her arms, tipsy as she walked down through the woods with a gourd in hand and chains dragging from behind. The roar itself wasn’t even a roar, but an alcohol-breath burp right after she took a swig from her gourd.
“Ah, nothing says it like strolling around the forest with sake in hand.” She said to herself. “With wind in my face, grass beneath my feet, and basking in the warmth of that big ball of fire up in the blue sky.”
She spread her arms out like a bird ready to take flight. “The surface is great! It’s nothing like the dull dark depths of the Former Capital, I don’t know what everyone was thinking telling me coming up here was a bad idea. It’s so much fun! Ahahaha~”
As she ventured deeper into the forest, her laughter rang out boisterously, reminiscent of a foolish, drunken man stumbling from a bar or an overjoyed child finding amusement in the simplest things. However, this mirth gradually subsided, dwindling to mere chuckles before fading to complete silence as she approached a large, strangely-shaped tree with a trunk that resembled a natural seat. Settling down, her expression shifted to one of boredom. A long sigh escaped her lips, and she blinked a couple times facing towards the ground.
After a few minutes of sobering up, she spoke, “Who am I kidding? The surface sucks. None of the animals pose a challenge, the human villagers don’t show fear since they don’t recognize what I am, and the youkai don’t take me seriously. Us oni haven’t been gone that long, so why aren’t we threatening?”
She picked up a nearby rock and threw it a good distance away from her. The rock struck a tree, ripping through its bark and left behind a hand-sized wound for the innocent timber.
“Not like I can go back down and admit to everyone I was wrong. I’d be a coward. No oni of any stature would dare return weak.”
A brief moment of silence, as though she expected a response. But no, it was quiet and lonesome.
“Sigh…I wish I had someone to talk to at the very least. If only I knew how to contact Yukari.” She slumped further down the tree’s stump, filled with a hint of sorrow beneath her aloof demeanor.
That’s when she heard something close by. She raised her head and looked towards the direction of the sound from behind the tree, a voice being that of a young girl with some gruffness in her tone.
“Haven’t checked here yet, hopefully there’s something roaming here. Maybe I’ll find a new insect to catch along the way. Wouldn’t it be nice to have another bug for our collection Mimi?”
The figure soon walked around the tree and revealed herself to the oni. It was a girl with long black messy hair, with a face that had a couple bandages, and a red-black outfit that resembled more like boy’s clothing than a girl’s. In her hand was a small stuffed shrine maiden doll. The two stared at one another blankly with surprised faces, but neither one spoke for what felt like ages.
“Who are you?” The tomboyish girl asked. The other felt nervous to speak suddenly, she didn’t expect to encounter anyone far deep in the woods. Her mind raced with a million options, and she settled with one.
“Well well well, if it isn’t a naive innocent human, coming all the way to my domain!” She said, standing upright with a dominant nature. “To think someone as brave as you dare come face-to-face with an oni such as myself! I commend you, but don’t think you can leave now.” She said, showing her teeth in order to be threatening.
“An oni?” The girl asked. “You mean the youkai from the stories I’ve been told?”
“Why yes. A member of a powerful race that humans feared for centuries. With our tremendous strength and staggering height, we are superior to you in every way. You have every right to be afraid.”
She expected her to be trembling, shaken down to her shoes. Yet she wasn’t, she simply stood in front of her, looking down a little.
“Aren’t you…a little short to be an oni?”
All that dominating confidence swayed from that statement, a red blush formed on her face to show.
“T-That’s not important. What is important is that you need to fear me.”
“Why?”
“W-Why? She’s asking why?” She thought. “How do I respond to that? Dammit, why can’t people just be scared for no reason?”
She wondered how to get her to fear her, when a growl from her stomach interrupted her thoughts.
“Oh, are you hungry? I brought a couple of onigiris with me; you can have one if you want.” The other girl offered, pulling out a fresh triangular ball of rice in front of the oni.
She looked at the food presented, her mouth watering with hunger. She at first wanted to refuse, denying herself the pleasure of food she did not earn. But her stomach redetermined her values so she hastily took the onigiri and shoved it in her mouth without a second thought. The taste of something that wasn’t stale or raw filled her tongue with pleasure, allowing something other than alcoholic intoxication.
“You better?” The tomboyish girl asked.
“Yeah. Much better.” She said, relieved she no longer felt empty as she patted her tummy.
“So, what’s your name?”
“My name? It’s uh…Suika.” Suika said.
“Cool. My name’s Minako. And this lil maiden right here is Mimi.” Minako held up the shrine maiden doll up closer so Suika could see. She thought it was cute, yet contrasting to Minako’s rougher appearance.
“Hm…Well then, I ask again: What’s a human like you doing all the way out here in the woods?” Suika asked.
“Easy, I’m looking for something big to fight. My mom told me the best way to get stronger is by taking down something bigger than you, so I figured I try my luck around here. Have you seen any big creatures nearby?”
“Something to fight you say? Well, I think I fit that description. I don’t look like it, but I’ve won more fights than the number of times you’ve eaten rice.” Suika boasted, attempting to taunt Minako. The latter however let out a short laugh.
“Yeah, sorry Suika, I said I’m looking for something big, tall, tremendous in stature.” She raised her arms up wide to further show what she meant.
“H-hey, I can be big if I want!” Suika expressed her annoyance at the girl’s lack of fright. She could easily grow twice her size and pick her up like how she picks up her own doll. But she didn’t feel like wanting to harm her; instead another idea came to mind.
“Actually, I think I know one that’s close.”
Soon after, Suika led Minako to an open part of the woods belonging to a creature she knew of. There they both witnessed a large bear, minding itself to a berry bush. The bear was quite large, massive compared to most bears that roamed Gensokyo. Though gentle in the way it nibbled on the bush of berries, its hulking body made it appear to be fearsome.
“Okay, you see that bear there?” Suika pointed while she and Minako hid behind the trees. “You think you can handle 'em?”
“I-I’m not sure. I never fought a bear before.” Minako said with slight anxiety.
“Relax, if anything goes wrong I’ll pull you out, trust me, I’m an oni, we’re always honest.”
“If you say so.” Minako said, placing her Mimi doll safely beside the tree, telling it to stay put. She then began to approach the bear slowly, creeping towards it. Suika meanwhile laughed to herself, thinking of what she expected the outcome to be.
“Hehe, she probably has no idea how dangerous bears really are. All it’ll take is one roar and she’ll be cowering beneath, then I’ll swoop in, give the bear a one-two, and have her honor me as her superior.”
The bear quickly took notice of Minako’s approach. It rose up on its back legs, growling loudly as it made its warning clear to the girl, before moving to strike with its massive paws. Minako however, did not cower, nor scream with fear like Suika expected; rather she took a firm stance, clenched her fist, and jump-spun-uppercutted the bear by the chin, hitting so hard the bear flew up by a couple meters, and crashed back down the ground out cold.
Suika was stunned, her eyes wide as dinner plates and her mouth slightly open from what she witnessed.
“D…Did…you just…uppercut a bear!?” Suika asked, seeing Minako return and pick back up her doll.
“I did. Didn’t expect the bear to go down so easily.” Minako said.
“But I thought you said you never fought a bear before!”
“I haven’t. Though, I do have experience fighting wolves. And Kappa. And Tengu. And at least 20 different species of youkai. Though my mom has fought much more threatening creatures…Oh, that reminds me, I need to head home soon for dinner, it’s starting to get late!”
Minako began to float up from the ground, an act that would make Suika even more surprised than ever. What she thought was a normal adventurous girl turned out to be a human who exceeded all expectations. Meeting such a person presenting such strength made her feel not as lonely as she did earlier.
“Wait!” She called out before Minako could take off. Minako looked over at Suika with a curious glance.
“Um…If you want, I know some other areas with creatures as strong as the bear. If you come visit again I can show you where they are.”
Minako stayed silent for a second, “...Sure, I like that actually. I’ll be sure to return tomorrow.”
And like that she left, and Suika watched her fly off east, now with a smile she didn’t have before.
The next day Minako came as she said she would, and Suika showed her where they could find more creatures to fight. Once again Minako proved to be quite strong and took down the creature with ease, before heading home that same evening. Overtime Minako came to visit Suika to find more beings to fight; sometimes it was a big beast, other times a mischievous youkai, and oftentimes a young fairy of ice trying to prove itself over and over.
Not all days consisted of finding something to fight. On certain occasions the two would go explore, find places they have yet to discover. Other days they would catch insects, something Minako herself was fond of and gladly showed Suika how to do herself. On a particular day, Suika let Minako try sake for the first time; long story short it did not sit well with her. Regardless, they became close friends.
On a certain day, when the sky was a nice evening orange, the two sat by the edge of the forest, talking to one another about their concerns, their worries. Suika told Minako about how she came from the underworld after a bold claim that she could make everyone recall the legacy the oni race left behind, only to come up short and be alone. Mianko told Suika about her mother, and how strict she could be with her training and who she’s allowed to socialize with, resulting in her not having as many friends as she hoped. Her closest friend for the longest time was her doll Mimi, who she always took with her whenever she left the house for the day, because Mimi always kept her company. They realized they have more in common than they first thought.
Eventually like all days, their time to hang out came to an end, and Minako had to return home. She got up and was set to leave again, when she decided on something she hadn’t done before. She turned to Suika, handing her her Mimi doll.
“Eh? You’re giving this to me?” Suika asked. “But this is your precious doll, are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. Mimi always kept me company, now it’s her turn to keep you company.” Minako said.
Suika appreciated the act. She looked at the little shrine maiden doll, looking at its dotted eyes and sewed-on smile. A small tear formed in her eye, one she wiped away quickly and returned a thankful smile to her friend.

Good morning from England!
To preface I write this as a 30F, no spring chicken and very recently gave myself a huge confidence boost discovering this label. Also this post will be rather ramble-y, sorry!
This post is a description of my own experiences growing up, feeling alienated and unable to talk about my own dating experiences for fear of the same responses I have been given time and time again. I wanted to write something out, because if this resonates with even a single person and helps them feel a little more "normal" then I feel it's done its job.
Firstly, you AREN'T weird, your dating style and relationship style is VALID. Maybe, like me, this is the first time you've thought this in your whole dating life.
I know this may sound basic, but this is exactly how I felt stumbling onto the "demi" term. A sudden switch in my mind has been flipped and I realize I can stop pretending that "the next guy" will be the one I want to suddenly hold hands with, or kiss, or jump into bed with. That I just haven't found someone that has the perfect look or vibe for me to want to dive on. That my fear after the third date if I am not physical with them it just wasn't meant to be and I should either force it and see, or drop it there and then. That flirting is the biggest turn off for me and that's ok! No-one else I spoke could understand why and thought it was cute, so I just stopped talking about it. My friends constantly would advise me to just keep pushing. That I was just too picky. That I need to just settle already and give guys a chance. I love them but lord, it felt so tiring. I've spent countless hours trawling through forums trying to figure out WHY I just don't feel attraction for this or that reason.
So lets go back, throughout the years. I was brought up in a small town. A lot of close minded people, labels weren't a thing. Hell, we had never heard of autism, or spectrums, it was just "weird." Me and my friends all had a typical upbringing, one day you'll get married and buy a house and have kids. That's the way of the world! (Not for me, never wanted kids and still don't!)
I have had... a handful of relationships. Always with people I knew beforehand over time. I would gain a crush, we would become a thing, and as soon as things got more physical I would be very suddenly repulsed by them and end it. I knew this was toxic behaviour and hated myself for it but just could NOT get past that boundary. Even when I forced myself past those boundaries, it was never enjoyable. I was never comfortable. Albeit this is also all before I turned about 25? before pandemic years, I was an overweight, unconfident gamer girl. You won't believe how many times my family (and I) have joked about sending me off to First Dates because I've really just never been interested much in finding a partner.
Friends would discuss their crushes, who they thought was hot, who they'd bang. For me, if I could name celebrities.. it was always a character they played, not them themselves. It was book characters or game characters who we had time to watch develop their personality. It was always characters that strongly showed their emotions as well - of course I'd never admit most of my crushes were fictional. Even now, as a 30 year old, friends will show me pictures of band members or celebs or men they think I would be good dating.. and I'd always shy away. Or think, yeah, they're technically attractive? I am not attracted myself... how can I be? I don't know these people. I don't get the sentiment of them being "hot" even if topless or posed. But I'd just nod and agree because I guess yeah, they're technically good looking. Actually now writing this I wonder if this is also why I adore music with deeply emotional lyrics and instruments - Amazing Devil, AJR, many many more. I always felt like I could FEEL music. But I always hated explicit lyrics. Huh. This would make a lot of sense. Anyway back to it.
I pondered the idea if I was asexual, but I always knew that didn't fit.
I found major confidence moving to the city. Meeting friends who are confident in themselves, who don't judge but listen. I lost a tonne of weight, got a job I love, was very happy and had plenty going on. I still I wanted to date, but every time I tried it was disastrous, tedious and exhausting. I also didn't want to date knowing I wouldn't stay there long term.
Online dating: I will swipe on 99.9 percent of guys, and swipe right on the VERY few that I could see were happy. I didn't swiped because "damn they're hot" but I'd think "yeah, they look like they take care of themselves and are happy, nice dress sense. Not dead in the eyes. Have friends and go outside." but on top of that their profile HAD to resonate with me. Then we would meet and I'd usually come away not wanting to see them again, always expecting that you need the date to feel atleast positive at the end. But I just... never had that. They were fine. They were meh. I could never see them again and it's no skin off my back. Everyone would tell me "you just need to give them more time" which is technically true. But the thought of "three dates and you'll absolutely know" always plagued my mind. After the first to date they'd become flirty. I'd say I need to take it slow, but usually the cute emojiis, the hand holding on the second date and pressure to be more physical would all be too much and I'd just shut it down. I hated that I felt like this every damn time.
Now, I realise, I have a label that resonates and people who are the same minded! I think. I have no idea how much this'll actually help going forward, but it makes it a lot easier to communicate that I need FRIENDSHIP first. I need time, and if they can't handle that then there's no point trying. I'd rather remain single for my days than be with someone who doesn't understand.
And guess what I now tell myself? that's ok! You don't need to feel wrong anymore. Like I will suddenly become attracted when the right person comes along. Like you just need to force through or take up that random guys offer that flirted on the street. Like I need to be flattered when someone compliments me.
I can make it about getting to know eachother. It's more about time, boundaries, communication and patience. A deep dive into knowing eachother before snuggling up.
I find myself more excited knowing I now don't have to rush, and can spend time taking it easy. Maybe go to more meetups rather than dating apps, and just keep enjoying life.
I can say I recently moved to a smaller town again thinking maybe I just need to find somewhere to settle. But being back here makes me feel like I have regressed back and I once again have itchy feet to move back to a city. However it has also caused me to do more soul searching, eventually discovering this term and suddenly, for the first time in 15-ish years.. I feel comfortable with myself. Like finding the last missing piece to the jigsaw of my brain.
Stay safe and happy, beautiful people :) My ramble is over, but if you did read it, thanks for reading!

https://www.podcastone.com/episode/Dont-You-Wanna-Dance-w/-Gleb-Savchenko
For DWTS lovers, I suggest to listen to the whole podcast.
Here are some interesting points Gleb mentioned regarding the show:

• Pros have no say who they are paired with. Executive producers and casting director pick for them. Although it is not 100%, but celebrities could ask for a specific partner. For example, Mira Sorvino mentioned that she asked to be paired with Gleb.
• The show could be difficult for the celebrity: "It is hard, it is like a sport...It takes all of your time... If you have another job, quit. If you want to do Dancing with the Start, you gotta be really focused on that... But it is such a rewarding show, it is the best life experience you can ever have."
• How Gleb motivates his celebrity partner? (check at 0:14:45) "It is not about me, it is about them." They become his priority... When he is taking the celebrity into in his would, he wants to make sure that the person is comfortable. He makes them fall in love with dance.
• Why can't he win? Situation like that makes Gleb hesitate if this is him, if this is his fault?
• While reflecting on his previous partners, Gleb believes that he was eliminated too early with Mel C. She is an amazing dancer, and he is still hurting over their elimination.💖
• He called his partnership with Shangela one of the best.
• Gleb's dream partner - someone with great personality, with previous dance experience, young and cute.
• The host asked Gleb regarding the chemistry that we often see on the screen...Is there anything happening between the partners? Gleb gave an interesting answer. Every week, it is like "jumping from a plane with a parachute, you have an instructor next to you, you develop connection, you becoming a team". Lots of it is choreographed and rehearsed. All pros are very professional, this is their job, but from outside it looks like they are hooking up. However, it is possible that if people are single, they can develop feelings along the way, like Britt and Daniel. Gleb also mentioned about the friendships that he developed on the show, he is still close with Chrishell, Nikki, Erika, and Lisa.
• Gleb also talked about the creative process. Pros are in charge of choreography, and also select the music (weeks ahead since the song should be cleared). Gleb works with the choreography assistant, choreographs a dance, prepares everything before presenting and pitching his ideas and his vision to the celebrity, and then teaching the dance. Pros work with the music team, wardrobe team, and many producers. It looks like creation of a dance is a complex and interesting process.💖

Hi all,
I might be getting a tattoo in London this Saturday, and wanted to shoot a few quick fire questions since this community seems to be really helpful!

1. What do you guys think of this design? I added an outline to make it last longer, but chose a dark brown instead of black.
2. I would like to get it in a small size on my hip (about 1,5 cm / 0.6 inch). I heard that microrealism fades easily on the hips because of friction and movement which is why I changed to a brighter outlined design. How would my idea hold up there? Any hip experiences?
3. What do you guys think of this artist? I think they pack in colour really nicely, but I'm no expert. They've done some cute fruits before, and I see they use the dark colour outline here as well.
4. I would be getting the tattoo on Saturday and I'm in London until Monday, including a long day at Comic Con on Sunday. It it ok to walk around all day the day after getting a tattoo?
5. At the moment I have a pimple where I'd like to get the tattoo done. Is this a problem? I'm hoping it'll be gone and healed by Saturday but not sure.

Thank you!

So, I finished KEY - I played it twice to get all of the achievements. It was alright, it wasn't bad. I've accepted that ND games will never be the same after SEA.
My main issues were that everything was just flat. I remember how beautiful and intricate the graphics used to be in older games (even in the classic ones) and this one felt so - meh.
There were rooms and rooms where you couldn't click on ANYTHING to explore. Characters were really disinteresting. Even the cute callbacks felt like they were just Nancy Drew easter eggs in a completely different game that isn't Nancy Drew anymore.
Some of the puzzles were good - but some, I had NO IDEA where to start, with no verbal cues, and had to rely on the hints way too much.
The new VO actress is fine in tone and warmth, but I've done VO before, and I really think that the issue with her VO is that she says all of her words painstakingly too slow. It doesn't sound natural, because a real person doesn't speak like that. Natural speech speeds things up at times, and has varying inflections and pauses, run-ons. She says every. single. word. at. exactly. the. same. speed. I listened to every delivery after I realized that's what makes her sound so robotic, and except for maybe a handful of takes she did where she sped up her delivery for a short line, she says EVERY line with almost a pause between each word. It was excruciating and really a shame, because she has a nice voice.
Anyway, I miss Lani and think I will go back to playing the old games. I don't care if she "sounds old". She IS Nancy Drew. I've played every game multiple times - some of them, too many times to count. I think after trying this last one out for curiosity's sake after the one that shall not be named (I honestly blacked that one out) I will be spending my money elsewhere.
Rant over, my question is - does anyone have any great game recommendations along the lines of the games pre-Unity takeover?
I've played This Bed We Made (loved it) and went through the Life is Strange Series (also loved it).
Does anyone have suggestions on some great mystery/point and click/supernatural/adventure/explore games?
Thanks!

More than a casual online friendship where we barely hit each other up.. I want connection, calls, exchange of ideas, little things as well as big life choices... Not a relationship as those don't tend to work out online/long distance, but perhaps a really serious supportive friendship? Not using each other temporarily and then ghosting after half a year? Is that possible?
I always felt incomplete in a sense, always lacking a second half.. Someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to send me a voice message when I desperately need a kind voice.. Can we be there for each other without things getting weird? Can we try?
A bit about me: huge music lover (70s-80s especially), guitarist, casually interested in psychology, poetry and philosophy, I work out regularly as well as work on my mental health and I love binge watching movies/shows... movie night anyone?
I'm a very chill introverted person... soft spoken and prone to coping with humor and have a giant collection of cute animal pics and memes.. If any of that interests you, make sure to hit me up!

Previous case
The infected deer are starting to become a real problem. That being said, as the title suggests, the worms are the least of my worries.
(If you're not familiar with what Orion Pest Control's services are, it may help to start here.)
On my drive home a few nights ago, I saw the reflection of eyes in the distance. As I slowed down, I discovered a buck standing in the middle of the road, head bent over gray fur.
It was eating an opossum. Or, more accurately, the worms puppeteering it were coiling around the opossum, their mouths leaving huge holes in the poor animal's fur as they dragged it between the deer's open jaws.
Like the infected doe I'd encountered before, the buck’s stomach was pulsating as the worms moved. Its fur was unruly, the white patch over its throat stained with layers of dried blood.
My stomach fluttered in disgust at the way the parasites protruded from its mouth. God, those worms… Steeling myself, I snatched my toolbelt off of the passenger seat along with the shotgun and went out to take care of it. Unfortunately, I only had regular shells that time. After the incident at the farm, I hadn't had the time to restock on salt shells. They would've made this process much faster and easier.
I just had to shoot it in the head, then pour salt on each worm afterwards. Same as before. No problem, right?
The sound that the worms made as they devoured the opossum made my skin crawl. The sliminess of their skin as they slithered around each other combined with the wet tearing of flesh and fur. Whatever you're imagining, I assure you that the noise was far more nauseating in real life.
Before the worms or their host had a chance to notice me, I took aim and pulled the trigger. The side of the buck's head exploded. It let out a deep, guttural groan as the worms dropped from around the trapped rodent.
The buck then lowered its antlers at me. Fuckfuckfuck! I sprinted for my car as it charged me, the worms flopping around as they were dragged across the road by their host. I got out of the way just as the buck's antlers pierced my G6's hood. It shook its head violently, my little car shaking along with it as it tried to get its antlers free.
Why was it so much more aggressive than the doe? Had it been infected longer?
Just as I raised the shotgun again, I felt something brush against my foot. I was so glad that nobody was around to see me yelp like a coyote as I expertly flailed away from the worm that had taste-tested my boot.
There was an ear-splitting, metallic groan as the buck got its antlers free. I stepped away from the worms as I fired again. The buck fell to the side, causing the worms to lurch to the ground like cut ropes. Heroically, I backed away from them even more as they began to convulse, fumbling with shaking hands to get the salt out of my toolbelt.
The area around me became much brighter as another vehicle made its way down the road. I got off to the side to lower the chances of getting hit, then otherwise ignored it as I finished the job by seasoning the parasites, grimacing as they writhed against their salty demise.
From behind me, I heard the oncoming vehicle start to slow down. I had just finished salting the final worm when the driver completely slowed to a stop. Glaring against the headlights, dread pooled in my stomach as I recognized the old, boxy blue Ford pickup. I'd seen it parked at the mechanic's shop every time I've had to go over there.
What was he doing here?
Coincidences don't exist in this line of work. I hadn't seen the mechanic since that day he'd turned me into a dog. I'd went out of my way to try to avoid him, which in hindsight, I probably could've been more subtle about.
It occurred to me to run. A frightened, primal impulse. But if I'm right about what the mechanic is, that'd be a horrible idea. They take cruel delight in hunting their prey down. Not knowing what else to do as my heart raced, I made sure that the buck and the worms were dead, shooting the infected animal in the head one last time. It didn't move. Neither did the worms.
The truck's door creaked open, then slammed shut. And with the sound of his boots on the gravel, I said a quick prayer, hoping that whatever god heard me would be a merciful one.
The mechanic grimaced at the dead worms, “Hoo, those things are nasty.”
All I could think of to say in my state was, “…Yeah.”
Brilliant, right?
He clicked his tongue, then walked over to my G6, shaking his head. “It sure did a number on this.”
For the first time, I got to see the extent of the damage that the buck had done to my poor little car. The hood was crumpled and riddled with several small holes. I had left it running, but after the attack, the engine had gone quiet. My dread worsened as I noticed that some sort of fluid was pooling beneath the front of the car.
The mechanic popped the hood, absent-mindedly nudging a dead worm out of the way with his heel as he examined my suffering car.
“Yeah, that's the fuckin’ radiator.” The mechanic commented. “This thing ain't going anywhere.”
You've gotta be kidding me.
I'm not a car person. I didn't know if he was messing with me or not. I stammered, “Are… are you serious?”
He closed my hood, “You see me laughing, puppydog?”
Prick.
“Please don't call me that.” I said, keeping my voice as even as possible.
He snickered, “What would you like me to call you, then?”
I replied, “Let's go back to ‘stranger.’”
He pursed his lips, “But we're really not strangers anymore, now, are we?”
I didn't like that he'd taken enough of an interest in me to want to use something other than a generic nickname for me. I didn't trust this. Not one bit.
The mechanic patted the G6's hood noisily before stepping over a worm to stand in front of me, “Well, I can tow this thing to the shop, then start workin’ on it in the morning. In the meantime, why don't you let me give you a lift?”
Oh, FUCK no.
“Thanks, but I have people I can call.” I replied, eyes on his chest to avoid his gaze.
He chuckled, “You really don't like accepting help when it's offered, do you?”
That was a warning. Don't push it.
Doing everything in my power to keep my voice calm, I asked, “Will you expect something in return?”
With a grin, he replied, “Just the pleasure of your company.”
I don't like this.
As much as I would've preferred to take my chances walking home and dealing with literally any other atypical animal that could be prowling the night, I was too afraid to wear the mechanic's patience any thinner.
He either read my mind or my thoughts showed on my face because he then added with a smirk, “You can bring your gun, if that'll make you feel safer.”
Unable to shake the feeling that I was going to the gallows, I reluctantly climbed into the passenger seat of his truck, flipping the safety switch on the shotgun before setting it on the floor against my leg.
The interior smelled pleasantly of black cherries. I'd expected the stench of motor oil. He wordlessly nativated the truck in front of my broken down car, then jumped back out again to hook everything up.
While he was busy with that, I quickly texted Victor and Reyna, ‘broke down. mechanic found me. taking me somewhere. not sure where yet.’
For good measure, I also shared my location with them. Afterwards, I jammed my phone back into my pocket, then peered into the side mirror to watch the mechanic. He was pulling on the chains he'd attached to my G6, testing their tightness. He looked like he was almost done.
My phone buzzed, but I didn't dare take it out again.
The mechanic climbed back into the driver's seat with a sigh. As the old pickup started down the road, my unease kept building. I felt like I shouldn't move or breathe too much, for some strange reason. This might sound dramatic, but I would've felt safer being trapped in a cage with a hungry lion. At least a lion would just shred me and be done with it.
I reminded myself that I was still wearing my toolbelt. He'd let me take the shotgun. I didn't know how effective salt, shells, or a silver blade would be against him, but it was slightly reassuring to know that I wasn't completely defenseless. Just slightly. The fact that he'd let me keep all of it told me that he didn't consider me a threat to him, even while armed.
The mechanic glanced at me, “I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I was on my way to Dillon's when I found you.”
Dillon's is an old 50's style diner that’s about a half hour walk away from my apartment. It's cheap, greasy, and gets the job done, especially when you're hungover.
The mechanic looked and sounded deceptively friendly as he spoke again, “Though, I am glad that we ran into each other! There's something that I've been wanting to discuss with you.”
That couldn't be good. I stared through the windshield, only looking over at him occasionally to avoid any possibility of him catching my eye.
The mechanic continued, “You remember when I told you the other night that you impressed me? I meant that. And humans don't normally impress me much, so… make of that what you will. However, you also tried to get smart with me and that is the shit I hate. You can be as polite as you want, but insolence is insolence, no matter how much you try to sugarcoat it.”
Even though his tone remained light, the nervous pit in my stomach grew into a gaping chasm. Was he still angry? And if he was, what did that mean for me?
The mechanic side-eyed me briefly as if he expected me to say something.
My phone buzzed in my pocket again. One of my coworkers tried to call me.
Another thing yinz need to know about dealing with the Neighbors: never use the words ‘I'm sorry,’ the reason being that an apology is an admission of a debt to them. If you have to atone for a transgression (and it is highly recommended that you do so), your phrasing matters.
I hoped that humbling myself would appease him, “My actions were a waste of your time and I absolutely regret them. It won't happen again.’
The mechanic snickered, “See, that's just it. You're so… fuck, what's the word I'm looking for? I heard it just the other day and it reminded me of you. Oh, right! Unctuous. You ever hear that word before?”
I told him I hadn't.
“It means someone who's insincerely polite. They tell you what you want to hear just to get what they want. Sound familiar, pup?”
He'd never been this ruthless in our interactions before. I needed to be careful.
Feeling my mouth get dry from impending panic, I shook my head, “That's not it. I just try to watch what I say. I don't mean for it to come off as disingenuous.”
Throughout this whole conversation, his smile stayed in place. He was enjoying making me squirm. As much as it killed me to give him that satisfaction, I couldn't hide it: even without that banjo around, I was terrified of him.
He replied, “You see why I'm glad we ran into each other? This is something that's been on my mind for a bit. Coulda gotten it outta the way a whole lot sooner, if you hadn't been hiding from me.”
I knew better than to insist that I wasn't avoiding him, especially since I was already on dangerously thin ice. And we were still far enough away from town that if he were to decide to pull over right then and there, no one would notice what happened to me until it was too late.
Swallowing back my nervousness, I asked, “What happens now?”
“That whole nasty business two weeks ago didn't need to happen. All you had to do was find your boss, which you already wanted to do anyway. But instead, you decided to be a smartass. From now on, don't get smart with me and just do your job. That ain't asking for much, is it?”
Trying to get more saliva in my dry mouth to swallow again, I hurriedly nodded, “No, it's not. I’ll do better.”
“Glad we're understandin’ each other, pup.”
Despite the mechanic's relaxed demeanor, I still didn't feel safe in that truck. We were getting closer to town. My phone didn't stop vibrating. I just hoped that he was taking me to where he said we were going.
There is a bit of conflict in our records as to whether or not the Neighbors can lie. Some sources state that they can only speak the truth, others say that they are able to be just as dishonest as humans. Either way, it's best to operate under the assumption that their intentions are to manipulate.
The mechanic then cheerily asked, “Now that we got that unpleasantness out of the way, I gotta know, how'd you get so good with a gun? I've seen ol’ blue eyes shoot, and that man can't hit the broad side of a barn, so I know he ain't the one that taught ya.”
Military records are public. If he learned even something as miniscule as my last name, it wouldn't be hard to identify me or my mom from there. The Neighbors have been known to seek out the family members of those who've slighted them. Entire bloodlines have been destroyed in this manner. I've seen it happen before, but that's a story for another time.
I can't stress this enough: never let a Neighbor learn your name.
I struggled to find a balance between being vague enough to protect myself, but detailed enough to satisfy him, “I wanted to learn how to defend myself when I was younger, so I found some good teachers.”
I must've missed the mark because the mechanic shook his head and chuckled, “You're doing it again. That annoying indirect shit. Why don't you try giving me a real answer, for once?”
Feeling my heart flutter, I muttered, “Armed forces.”
That was still vague. I didn't specify which of the armed forces. He could deduce when I served based on my age, but even then, that was still thousands of soldiers to sort through. Hopefully, that would be enough to protect us.
“Thank you for your service.” He said, his tone slightly mocking.
He could taunt me as much as he wanted. At least he accepted that answer. I just hoped that I wouldn't face any repercussions for being too vague earlier.
More streetlights were appearing. We were in town, getting closer to Dillon's. Assuming that he had been telling the truth about our destination.
This was the longest drive of my life. If the truck hadn't been going so fast, I would've been tempted to tuck and roll. And again… if the mechanic is what I think he is, he'd probably love it if I gave him the opportunity to chase me.
I had to know for sure, though. Just so that I knew how to properly deal with him.
Doing my best to sound meek (not hard, in the moment), I tried to word my question carefully, “Are you a Wild Huntsman?”
Once again, not taking the risk of typing or saying the ‘S’ word, especially since I haven't heard from that one person that commented that term on my last post.
Speaking of… are you still alive and in one piece, u/Holiday-Space?
The mechanic laughed, “Too afraid to say it, huh? Come on, I dare you!”
“No thanks.”
One of you is bad enough. Don't need any of your hunting buddies to show up.
The mechanic shook his head at me as he snickered, “Coward.”
Up ahead was Dillon's old purple neon sign. To my relief, the mechanic pulled into the parking lot. With it being so late, there were only two vehicles there besides the mechanic's truck (not including my comatose G6.)
Anxious to get out of there, I reached for the handle only for the door to swing open before I could grab it. The mechanic was holding the door open for me. I hadn't even heard the driver's side open.
See why I didn't try to run from him?
It took a lot of effort to sound sincere as I said, “What a gentleman.”
He nodded towards Dillon's, “After you.”
Even though the idea of having to spend more quality time with the mechanic made me want to crawl out of my own skin, I felt marginally safer in public. He wouldn't risk exposing himself when he has a shop to run. At least, I didn't think he would.
The girl that seated us blushed the moment she saw him. For her sake, I hope he doesn't ever decide to take advantage of her crush.
I was so keyed up that food was the last thing on my mind. It took our poor, flustered waitress asking me twice before I could order only a glass of water.
After she walked away, the mechanic leaned forward, forearms resting on the table as he said in a low voice, “You know, you don't have to act like a hostage, right?”
Wasn't I though? He did take me there against my will, after all.
I whispered, “Why am I here? What else do you want?”
“I already told you. I want your company. We're just talking. That's it.”
If that was true, then why go through the effort of intimidating me? Granted, he didn't have to do much. My mind raced as I tried to remember anything helpful that the boss could've told me. I recalled then that Victor had said that the mechanic couldn't do anything to him while he was still alive. There must be some sort of condition that has to be met.
The waitress scurried over with the mechanic's coffee and my water, turning an even deeper shade of red when the mechanic flashed an admittedly charming smile at her. When her eyes met mine, she looked somewhat embarrassed. It occurred to me then that to someone on the outside of all of this atypical nonsense, it probably looked like I was his extremely anxious and somewhat disheveled date.
Christ. Just kill me.
Now that I had humiliation to add on top of all of the other negative emotions I was experiencing, I sipped at the metallic-tasting ice water, grateful to give my parched tongue some relief.
As the mechanic added at least ten sugar packets to his coffee, he said, “Try to relax a little, alright? If I'd wanted to hurt you, I coulda taken care of that out on the road.”
Was that supposed to be reassuring?
After a deep breath, trying to lessen my nerves, I uttered, “You… want a little coffee with your sugar?”
He snorted, “Judge me all you want. It's like a drinkable candy bar.”
I stared down at my paper placemat that doubled as a menu. The last thing I wanted was to meet his gaze. It was harder to avoid it when seated together in a small booth. In retrospect, I think that's what he was counting on.
He'd said something alarming about Victor that made me reflexively glance up in shock, aiming to just look at his chest again. I don't even remember what he'd said.
The phone ringing in the kitchen… Mom kneeling down to hug me, making my shoulder wet… My father glaring at me through bullet proof glass…
I shook my head, blinking. What? Fingertips on my chin, leaning in as if to kiss me. The mechanic's eyes are hazel.
Our garage spray painted ‘MURDERER’... A fist pummeling my nose in the school hallway… My black kitten Maisie trotting towards me… That recruiter’s shit eating grin… Sargent Wilcox screaming, ‘Come on, you useless fucks!’... Yelling for a medic as I held my hands over Oliver's bleeding stomach…
Wait… what happened? A warm, gloved hand over my eyes. My cheeks were wet. When did I start crying? As I came to my senses, I recognized Reyna’s perfume.
The mechanic's voice made me stiffen. It's tone was sultry, with a menacing edge to it, “And who might you be?”
“No one.” She replied hurriedly, her voice bearing a slight quiver. She then whispered to me, “Let's go.”
Even though I couldn't see him, I could tell the mechanic was smiling as he told us that he'd see us later.
Due to our height difference, (I'm 6'1 while Reyna meets the requirements for the Lollipop Guild) her hand uncovered my face naturally as I stood up to leave. I refused to look in the mechanic's general direction. We rushed out. I could tell he was watching to see which car we'd go into. Fortunately, Reyna had the foresight to park behind the building.
I should also mention that Reyna had disguised herself. She wore red heart-shaped sunglasses and a scarf over her head, like a starlet from the golden age of Hollywood. She even wore platforms to try to appear taller. While it wasn't very discreet, it would hopefully keep the mechanic from recognizing her. Once we got to her Monte Carlo and peeled out, she ripped the sunglasses off.
Glancing into the rearview mirror for the what felt like the eighth time as Dillon's faded away behind us, Reyna frantically asked, “What did he do to you? I walked in and… you were just…”
He'd flipped through my mind like the pages of a book. I told her as much. She asked me if I was okay. I wasn't sure.
“We’re going to my place.” She informed me, checking the mirror again. “Vic and I agreed it's probably safest since the mechanic knows the least about me. And I'd love to keep it that way.”
I nodded, still unreeling from having my memories dug into, “Sounds good.”
Further on down the road, she noticeably stiffened when she saw a pair of headlights come up behind us. I reminded her that he didn't know what her car looked like. She didn't speed up, keeping the car at the speed limit to not draw attention to ourselves.
The headlights got closer. Turns out, it was just some impatient idiot with a lifted Dodge Ram truck. We both let out groans of relief when the ugly, oversized vehicle passed us.
“I never thought I'd actually be glad to see a pavement princess.” Reyna commented with a nervous laugh.
She then suddenly asked, “Is the mechanic an incubus?”
Feeling the beginnings of a headache behind my left eye, I answered, “I wish. That'd be a lot simpler.”
“Ah, okay. Wonderful. Lovely. And uh, don't worry about answering everything I say. I'm just kinda talking because I don't know what else to do, so if you want to ignore me, feel free.”
I ended up calling Victor, putting him on loudspeaker so that Reyna could hear.
He answered on the first ring, “What happened? Are you alright?”
I caught him up on everything. After I was done, he sighed, “Okay. If you don't mind me asking, when he got into your head, what did he see?”
“My sperm donor getting arrested, me getting beaten up in middle school, bootcamp, and a buddy dying after an ambush in Afghanistan.”
“Was your name used in any of those memories?”
“No.”
“Okay. That's good at least. I'm sorry you were forced to relive all of that.”
I didn't know what to say. Thankfully, Victor saved me from having to respond by continuing, “I was afraid of this. When a Hunter takes an interest in someone, especially someone that they can't take right away, they start off with trying to break the target down. Using fear and intimidation to make the person feel isolated, sometimes even driving them insane. The mechanic is trying to start that process with you.”
What he was saying checked out with everything that I'd researched about The Hunt. They are said to be attracted to bereavement, often pursuing those who've experienced a great loss or heartbreak. They interpret it as weakness. The more vulnerable their victim is, the easier it is for The Hunt to devour them. That explained why the mechanic had gravitated towards some of the most traumatic experiences of my life.
I'd read somewhere that they find brave, good-natured people especially appetizing, even though they're the hardest for The Hunt to take. By being unable to cry out when I was transformed, I think I’d unintentionally convinced the mechanic that I was that type of person. And it made him hungry.
Victor bitterly informed us, “He's not going to chase you tonight. He has your gun and your car. He knows you’ll go to him.”
Slowly, the fear became replaced with anger. And spite. The mechanic could disarm me and use my worst moments against me, but I resolved then that I wouldn't let that fucker intimidate me. I wouldn't give him what he wanted.
If he wanted to think I was something special, I'd give him something fucking special.
“Vic, can you get her things so that she doesn't have to deal with him?” Reyna asked.
Before he could answer, I shook my head, “No. I don't want the mechanic to think that I'm afraid. I mean… I am but he doesn't need to know that.”
Victor warned, “By confronting him, you could make the hunt more thrilling for him. That might encourage him to be more aggressive towards you.”
I shrugged, “I'm screwed either way. At least this way, I'm screwed on my own terms.”
For the first time in a long time, Victor sounded like he might've been smiling. I haven't seen him smile since before he showed up with that bandana covering his slit throat. “We can start by finding a hagstone. That's easier said than done… but, something's telling me that there'll be one at Beaver Run. Check there.”
According to our records, draugr have a limited ability to see the future. Maybe that ‘strange feeling’ was actually a premonition. It certainly wouldn't hurt to check.
“Tomorrow morning, while the mechanic is at his shop, it's hagstone time.” I announced.
“I'll help.” Reyna offered, but then quickly added. “Unless you need me to cover for her tomorrow, Vic.”
“If you wouldn't mind doing a half-day, that'd be best.”
“Okay, can do!”
Victor wished us luck, then hung up.
Forgive me, but I'm going to go off on a brief tangent: Reyna has a pet skunk. Her name is Fireball. I'm mentioning this because that little skunk was basically free therapy after the night I'd had. And in all my days of having to dig the little guys out from under people's houses, I never really had a chance to appreciate how cute they are.
“She can't spray.” Reyna assured me when the little critter trotted over to sniff me. For those that aren't aware, skunks are typically quiet, but when they do vocalize, they sound like weed whackers.
Reyna stared down at Fireball, “What are you ‘meeping’ at?”
Fireball stomped at her, then jumped back. In the wild, they do this when they're trying to intimidate predators, so if you encounter a skunk and they do this, it's best to back off. However, in Fireball's case, they might also stomp when they're feeling sassy.
Reyna put her hands up in an annoyed gesture, “What's with the attitude?”
The skunk stomped again. Reyna huffed, “Jeez, you act like you're starving to death. You still have food in your bowl, idiot! Just because you can see a little bit of the bottom doesn’t mean it's empty!”
After we quadruple-checked to make sure that every entrance into Reyna’s apartment was salter, I settled down on the couch to get some sleep. At one point in the night, Fireball ended up curled up in my lap. That healed me.
The search for a hagstone wasn't going to be an easy one. They're stones with holes in the middle, normally found near bodies of water. In the old tales, these stones are valuable tools against the Neighbors for a variety of reasons, one of them being they can protect against curses and ward off evil. They also have been said to allow humans to see things that would normally be hidden to us when looking through the middle of the stone.
In other words, if our records were accurate, it was the key to leveling the playing field when it came to the mechanic.
I was in the river not long after the sun rose. Even though the water was cold this early in the summer, my spite kept me warm. I dug through the riverbed for hours until I came across a white stone with a large hole in its lumpy center.
Good to know that Victor's newfound draugr intuition was accurate.
I have the hagstone hanging on a chain around my neck, tucked under my shirt. I wasn't sure what effect the hagstone would have on the mechanic. At the very least, maybe I could see what he actually looked like.
Later that afternoon, Victor called to tell me that my car was done. Moment of truth. Even with the hagstone, I wasn't looking forward to being in close quarters with the mechanic again. But I reminded myself that I wasn't going to let that sadistic fuck frighten me into hiding again. No more avoiding him.
The mechanic greeted me, boyish grin in place, “Long time no see, pup!”
Feeling the weight of the hagstone as a comforting weight around my neck, I said, “I was told that my car is done. Think I left my shotgun in your truck, as well.”
“You did. You left in such a hurry. Probably had a lot on your mind, I imagine.”
Fuck you.
He set my keys on the counter, along with my shotgun, then leaned forward to rest on his forearms, “Come and get ‘em.”
I didn't know if the hagstone would keep him out of my head and I wasn't about to find out the hard way. He already knew more about me than I was comfortable with. I kept my eyes low.
As I approached the counter, he suddenly stepped back, eyes narrowed. Unfortunately, he didn't lose that grin. That was a shame; I was hoping to wipe it off of his face.
The mechanic let out a short laugh, “I see you came prepared.”
I sounded braver than I felt, “Of course I did. Now, how much for the repairs?”
His smile turned mysterious as he gave me my total. He didn't come closer to the counter while I stood by it; I had to back up for him to be able to run my card. After that was done, he set it on the counter next to my other belongings, leaning against the back of some old clunker he had lined up to work on.
As I hurried to get my things, the mechanic suddenly asked, “You can't tell me that you ain't curious.”
“Curious about what?”
“‘Bout what I really look like.” He smirked, folding his arms across his chest. “Go on. Take a peek.”
As tempting as it was, it wasn't hard to deduce his ulterior motive, “You just want to know where I have the stone hidden.”
He chuckled, “Yeah, that's true. You got me there. But wouldn't you like to know what you're really dealing with?”
“I already do. I don't need to see a monster to know it's there.”
Judging by the way his eyes slitted, he did not care for that comment. I knew I was probably going to regret that later. He already wanted to hunt me for sport. What did it matter if I clapped back at him just one time?
His voice lowered, “When your heart stops, puppydog, you better pray the devil finds you before I do. You'll crave Hell before I'm through with you.”
Hoping that he couldn't see my hands shaking, I grabbed my things and got out without another word. The G6 was working even better than it had before the deer incident.
After that interaction… I think I'm going to look for more hagstones. And I'm going to restock on salt shells.

What the title says. For many years I've been switching to comics and animated series and since I finished high school nothing seems to make me really connect with the characters in books. It all feels too far away. Here are some of the series (book, comic and animated) that made me feel something over time. I just want some recommendations. Here's a list to give you some ideas on what I like. You don't need to read it all.
Books Flowers for Algernon Divergent The Hunger Games Finding Love by Joss Stirling Market of Monsters (Not Even Bones)
Comics on Webtoon My Boo Unordinary Blue Matter Lore Olympus Castle Swimmer I want to be a cute anime girl Not so Shoujo Love Story
Manga The Promised Neverland Death Note Fulmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
Anime Hunter x Hunter
Animated Series The Owl House Steven Universe Hazbin Hotel Helluva Boss Avatar The Last Airbender
Thank you all for reading this far. Have a nice day!!

I recently bought a lemon drop cow (he is sooo cute I named him melon) but I have no idea what to do for his room!!! I'm diso the sprinkle dye bottle so I can use that for his wallpaper and carpet maybe, but i really don't know what kind of bed he should have (even though I call him a "he", my webkinz are getting girly rooms 😅) but honestly any ideas for some reason I'm really stuck on this!

Looking for some ideas for names we haven’t considered for our baby due in October. Older brother is Jude Michael.
Our front runners are Josephine/Joey or Sydney.
I like classic but cute girls names: Molly, Lucy, Rosie. We have various reasons these particular names won’t work but I keep wishing I’d come across another name that strikes me as similar.
I’m liking May as a middle name but I’m not married to it.

Long post alert. Believe it or not, there is a lot I left out of this post. If something seems confusing to you, please ask. There is more context, unfortunately.
I have many people telling me to leave, but I feel many of them do not understand the family trauma my fiancé is working through. Any trauma-informed responses here would be greatly appreciated. I don’t want to abandon him as he works through something very difficult. I just need to figure out how to take care of myself, too. Anyone who has escaped an enmeshed family, I would love your opinion. Anyone who sees boundaries I can set without abandoning him, I would love to hear it.
The relationship:

• We began dating May 2021. We got engaged October 2023.
• Very loving relationship, we have built what could be a beautiful marriage. Many shared values, good communication (to an extent, see below), shared interests, shared life goals. There is a lot of good here and we are invested in each other. We continue to try to choose each other. It’s why I haven’t walked away.
• From the start of our relationship to the time we got engaged, he set many expectations for wedding timelines. They all fell through. He was dealing with some hard stuff he couldn’t communicate at the time, and I can understand why it took him a while to propose, even though he kept promising me timelines and not following through on them. He asked for forgiveness, and I gave it happily. However, a pattern of saying he’ll do something and not taking action started here.
• i have made major financial decisions based on these timelines. I have not purchased a home which I have wanted since we started dating, recently purchased a nicer vehicle than I wanted on his insistence, because in his words, we will be married in just a few months. It may sound naive. It probably was. We were engaged. I trusted my fiancé’s word.
• We are waiting to move in together until we are married. There are many reasons for this, but it may have saved me a lot of hurt if this doesn’t work out.

The family background:

• The oldest sister of the family (31F) is in charge of most plans. She and her husband are very financially stable, provide dinner for everyone most nights, house the grandma with Alzheimer’s and the younger (25F) sister’s baby daddy, make most of the plans for family time, and financially take the burden for things they probably shouldn’t have to… this has created a pretty unhealthy balance where everyone is in some way dependent on her.
• Unless I specify the younger when I say sister, I mean the oldest.
• His parents have a delicately balanced marriage, and most of the family avoids conflict in that area because they are afraid of the family splitting up. They have found “peace” with their differences, which means not talking about anything they disagree on. I suspect their inability to talk through conflict is what has gotten us to this point in the first place.
• I have begun to think the entire family is pretty severely enmeshed. They are all dependent on one another and don’t address problems, but show up and pretend everything is fine.
• My fiancé has lived on his own for 6+ years now. Early in our relationship, it became clear to me that he had taken a step away from this family dynamic, though he maintained a close relationship with everyone. Attending family dinner twice a week was not uncommon.
• I come from an emotionally and physically abusive childhood, and was functionally independent at the age of 16. I have a lot of trauma from being abandoned, thrown from place to place at the whim of people who don’t care about me, living out of a car or suitcase… as an adult, home and housing security is very important to me. I have built myself a life I’m very proud of with my dream job, an extensive support system I love, lots of found family. Though it took a decade, I learned how to set healthy boundaries with and have safe relationships with my family. We are by no means close, but we are friendly and support each other where we can.
• His family seemed happy to have me around at the beginning. There were a few weird things they did at the beginning of this relationship that I didn’t think much of, but looking back, I can see it was a symptom I wasn’t able to recognize.
• There are multiple instances of the family not caring about our schedule: not bothering to include us in group trips to the grandparents, planning family trips when they know we will be busy, inviting us to dinner 30 minutes before it starts when everyone else knew all day. They all live in two houses that are 10 minutes apart, and spend every day together. This all has not bothered us too much, as we show up when we can, though I think not being considered has hurt my fiancé. The important point here is that the family has a pattern of not recognizing our needs.

What happened:

• We got engaged October 2023.
• The sister offers to help with wedding planning, as she is an event planner. I have extensive experience planning events as well, and kindly declined her running it but said I would love to have her support in some ways, and I’ll reach out when I need help.
• Engagement party planning: I ask her if she’s seen any cool activities for engagement parties, as I would like to have some. She tells me they’re not needed and that everyone will just be talking anyway. I try to ignore that comment and handle this with support of my MOH. (Btw, we did some prompts for people to fill out like “give the couple advice” and “what’s your favorite thing about the couple”with some nice cardstock and pens. Turned all of it into a collage and it’s so cute! Also my fiancé, who is an incredible artist, created a coloring page of our dog holding the ring, and I created a scavenger hunt for the kiddos. It was so cute!!! Very happy I had activities. Sister sat in the corner with her immediate and talked to basically nobody else. Her loss.)
• At a family dinner, she asks how engagement party planning is going. FH tells her we are just needing to decide on the catering order but everything else is good. She tells him to pull it up on his phone, steps in between us with her back to me, and tells him what he needs to get, without asking either of us our opinions. 2 weeks later I asked him if we could sit down and decide on the catering order, and he claims it’s done. With discussion, he realizes he just meant that his sister told him, but he hadn’t considered our budget, talked to me, or even remembered what she said. Like I said, she’s been running the family for years. This is a pattern I have seen time and time again.
• I begin to look at the calendar for a wedding date. We have always wanted to get married in the fall, and are wanting Sep/Oct. I send a few courtesy texts to close friends and family to ask if there’s any blackout dates that I can try to avoid. 0/10 would not recommend, there were literally no good dates. All my friends/family said just pick the date that works best for you, it’s a wedding and you won’t please everyone. His sister tells us that she is planning a month-long vacation in September and October, and she needs to know as soon as possible if she should change her plans. She and her husband travel very frequently. In 2023, they spent about three months total on vacation. It is almost a part-time job to them.
• September 28 is a very special day for us, it holds a lot of significance. It happens to also be the date with the least conflicts for our schedule and the blackout dates I stupidly asked many people for. The only conflict is the potential vacation. I will reiterate that out of 8 weeks, she immediately told us she wanted 4 of those for vacation. She also offered to change it, so I didn’t have a big concern at first.
• At a family dinner a bit later, my fiancé approaches her to let her know she will likely need to change her vacation. She asks if we have found a venue yet, we explain no but we will have one in about a month (this was peak holiday season and things were very chaotic). She tells us she needs the date by one week because she wants to book flights. The only thing she has officially booked is mostly refundable, canceling would only cost $500, and she says she’s willing to cancel that if we tell her now. I reiterate that we can’t give her the exact date, but we will be looking very hard for that date, and she should not book flights. The entire family gets incredibly frantic very quickly. The sister starts telling us dates that would work better for them, claiming we should go look at venues the next week (again, holidays, work was crazy, it was not an option), the father asks me to go to a venue alone and FaceTime my fiancé (who was leaving the next day for a trip), the mother tell us to just get married at another time of the year. I become pretty firm and say September 28 is important to us and fall is important to us. We will be finding a venue within a month, and if that date is available we will be taking it. Sister looks like she’s about to snap. Fiancé steps in here and says “well you’re more sentimental about dates anyway.” (Prior to this conversation he had told me he would prefer that date. I truly think he’s used to giving in to her and didn’t want her to explode. You will see why later.) She asks me to just tell her it’s that date. I say I can’t promise that because we’re not looking at venues yet, but it’s very very likely and she should wait to book.
• After we leave the house, I break down crying to fiancé and explain how hurtful it was to be dismissed by the family, but it also hurt that he shut me down in front of the family. I told him it felt like he took their side and just caved in. He hears me, tells me he understands why that would be hurtful and apologizes. States he will follow up with his sister and make sure she understands within the month. This did not happen. Again, I think the man is terrified of going against the family grain.
• We do a lot of venue research, and find one we have sentimental value with (we have danced here at events before), it will make our wedding band sound incredible, it is dirt cheap, all DIY (which I heavily prefer), and all the proceeds go toward rebuilding the community with rehab programs and affordable housing. This is the only place we tour. We immediately fall in love and want to book. They have only three dates available in September and October: Sep 14, Sep 28, Oct 19. His mother’s birthday is October 19, which we are avoiding for SO many reasons. She is 100% the kind of person who would resent us for this every year: we would want to celebrate our anniversary and she would be hurt we wouldn’t celebrate her birthday, and we don’t want to deal with that every year. September 14 is very bad for several reasons, the least of which that I would be bruised and scraped from a big race the weekend before. I don’t want to look like a domestic abuse victim in my wedding photos. We would also be missing many people important to us, it is the weekend of a big event in one of our communities. We would also be missing this event.
• I ask my partner if we can go ahead and book the 28th, and he can tell his sister. He said he wants to think about it for a while. I give him about two weeks, asking him occasionally if he’s decided what he wants to do. He does not make a choice. I remind him she made it clear that she said she was willing to change her vacation, she just needs to know soon. He does not say anything to either me or her, even though this is within the month he said he wanted to talk to her.
• While watching a game at sister’s house, his mother asks me if we found a date. I explain that there’s not a lot available, and it’s been hard to work around. She looks over my shoulder at my calendar I’m working on and says “October 19 is open”. I say yes, but that’s your birthday. She states “I’d rather you get married on my birthday than for (sister and her husband) to move their vacation.” I sit pretty silently and leave the house a bit later. I should have confronted this here, but did not feel comfortable doing so with how fiancé had responded to family pressure the first time. Kicking myself for it now.
• Quite a bit later, he finally says we can decide on the 28th, he just has to be okay with his sister not coming. We go to tell them in person, and ask them to come, and she reacts quite poorly. Insinuates we should have cancelled holiday plans to plan our wedding, says she doesn’t want to lose her PTO, or her money. States pretty harshly that if her friend she’s going with gets sick, maybe she can cancel and then she could make it. Fiancé shuts down completely. Understandable.
• We have a few one on one conversations with people trying to get to the bottom of the situation and explain that it’s hurtful she didn’t listen to us when we asked her to make good on her offer to change her vacation. Each person defends her and tells us we should have just planned it quicker. The father said he offered to pay for their vacation to be cancelled, but can’t afford it. They are now claiming it would take $20K to move their vacation. (I cannot believe this number. Also, they have travel insurance on the entire trip.)
• We invite sister and her husband over to talk. I tell her it hurts that she didn’t listen, that I was trying to let her know where we were so she could plan. She and her husband both say we are blunt people and you need to be more blunt with us or we won’t hear you. I say that doesn’t seem fair, I told you what was happening clearly, but you seemed to only want an official date, which I couldn’t give you then. She snaps at me and says “that is exactly what I wanted and it’s what you needed to tell me that day.” Shuts down and refuses to keep talking to me. Her husband and I leave the room to give the siblings time to talk. They talk for 3 hours. When they leave she barely says goodbye to me.
• Both sisters reach out to fiancé and ask to meet. He says he’d like me to come too. They say they would prefer a sibling meetup but if I want to come they’ll figure it out. I receive this comment as slightly hostile, and do not feel comfortable pushing my way into it. He goes.
• After this meeting, I ask him if he can set up a meeting with the sister to talk again. He calls to ask. She says she would meet up but she thinks she needs a “lawyer (younger sister’s name) present to translate”. I get pretty panicked about this and say I’m not comfortable with that. She was quite aggressive over the phone.

The blowup:

• Fiancé asks the entire family to meet so we can talk about things. This day is a nightmare. I was in and out of tears this entire time, but for the most part was able to keep talking, right until the end.
  • Family tells us all that this is completely my fault for not making sure to give the sister a date.
  • We both try to explain that it’s not even the date that’s a problem, it’s about our feelings not being heard. The mother and father state that if they knew what was happening when we asked them to change, they would have spoken up in a different way and made sure we were heard better by their eldest daughter. (This is a bit hard to stomach. Both of them told us that day to just move the date to a different time of year. They both dismissed me that day.)
  • I get vulnerable with the family and explain that since my family isn’t close, I would very much value a closer relationship with them all. I make sure to make eye contact with the sister. She rolls her eyes and pointedly looks away.
  • I begin to explain how hurtful the earlier conversations have been, I get cut off multiple times. My fiancé steps in (this was hard for him and I’m so so proud of him for doing this) and tells the people who cut me off to please listen because that’s not respectful and I deserve to be heard. The younger sister takes this very hard and leaves the room because she is enraged. She returns later.
  • The father says “emotions are just chemicals, so we can’t rely on those. We have to look at the facts.” Then proceeds to just say everyone needs to move on. This was immediately after I explained that how we were treated hurt us.
  • The conflict has still not been resolved or even explained, so I try to explain that “I feel like this would happen again” and the father quite literally blows up at me saying “that’s not fair, if I understood what we were talking about that day, I would have stepped in”. I explain again that I’m still feeling like it would happen, not just because of him and wanting to still resolve things. The family all blows up at me and tells me what I’m saying isn’t fair. Father is shaking and screaming at me. (But emotions are just chemicals, right? Lmao.) Again, I’m trying to address the conflict, and was shut down quite harshly.
  • I try a different approach. I explain to them that they are not the only people we are concerned about with scheduling, and that there were, quite literally, no perfect dates. We decided on the 28th because it made the most sense, it’s our wedding, and it means a lot to us. I tell them “I am not expecting you to move your vacation” and literally all 5 family members scream at me “yes you are”. I shut down and begin crying again. (What I would have said there is that if they do not respect our opinions or preferences for our wedding, I can’t control that. I can’t make my life dependent on them, and so if they’re not willing to come to us a bit for our wedding day it is out of my hands.)
  • As I shut down, the father starts talking about needing to treat each other better in the future. I perk up, hoping we can address the conflict. He instead says we can’t change the past, so just move forward with your wedding, and sister keep your vacation. Fiancé starts crying.
  • I try, one last time, to say this is making me uncomfortable, we haven’t really addressed what happened and I’m afraid it will happen again. The sister has not spoken at all, except to scream at me “yes you are”. I decide to address her directly. I calmly explain a few specific things she did that hurt us, and then I tell her I would really value knowing her perspective and I want to know how she’s feeling.
  • ****here it is.**** She stands up out of her chair, starts laughing, screams at me “I promise you don’t!” puts her head on the table, banging her fist and screaming. Her husband and my fiance are asking her to take a breath, but she is uncontrollable. She stands up, lets out a sustained scream at the top of her lungs, goes upstairs pounding her feet and screaming the entire time. She locks herself in a bathroom, screaming and pounding (I’m not sure what, probably her feet? Could have been punching the wall. Idfk.)
  • Fiance says to family “If we’re talking about how to treat each other in the future, this needs to be addressed. This is not appropriate.” (Again, claps for this man. Yay.) The rest of the family says that this is just how sister is and she just needs time to cool down. (This feels a bit like “the emperor has no clothes” kind of situation. She is the self proclaimed matriarch, and nobody wants to stand up to her because they are dependent on her for various things.) Younger sister leaves and says she is going to check on older sister.
  • Without either sister in the room, we actually get somewhere for a bit. I explain that I’m trying to share my emotions and perspective but until we’re heard, I don’t think we can move forward. I explain again that I want a relationship here but it’s looking difficult. From the sister’s husband, mother, and father, this is received quite well and we all seem to be getting closer to a resolution. Everyone seems to be connecting a bit more while we wait for the sisters to return.
  • Sisters come back down. Oldest has a notebook in her hands. She stands at the table and says she’s sorry that she has to read things from a paper, but that’s just where she is. I say that’s totally okay and fiance does too. She says “number one, I’m sorry we’re not on the same page emotionally. And number two…… these are just not worth saying”. She flips her notebook shut dramatically. Fiancé says “it’s worth it to me, and I know it’s worth it to my future wife.” Sister says “If I said them, it would ruin our relationship forever.” She sits down and smiles at us.
  • I am frozen. I cannot talk. I am quietly sobbing in my chair, and continue to cry until we leave.
  • Father says “okay, so do we just wanna move on, or pick this up later?” Many people chime in that they just want to move on. It feels like a switch flips. Everyone starts small talk and telling each other to have a good week. The sister says “I want to beat someone at something. Does anyone want to play a game?” I am crying and trying to move towards the door. The mother and father approach me and give me hugs. The sisters and husband do not acknowledge me at all. Everyone else says their goodbyes and fiance and I move towards the door.
  • As I reach the door, sister calls out to me “goodbye, (me).” She sounds annoyed, but I’m grateful she said something. I turn around to try to go say goodbye. It takes me a second to move through the people in the hallway, but I pop in the room. She is faced away from the hall. Her mother tells her to turn around, and I wave goodbye and say “bye, (sister)”. She rolls her eyes, scoffs at me, and turns to her mother while throwing her hands in the air. I begin crying in earnest, get pretty angry, and run out the door to the car.
  • I message her on the way back home, and saying I was trying to give her space and wasn’t trying to leave without saying goodbye, I just didn’t know what she needed and didn’t want to trigger her. I said thank you for saying goodbye, and I really hope you have a good week. To this day, has never responded to this. I wish I had never sent it.

The aftermath:

• Fiance asks me to change the date to September 14, but tells me his sister won’t get an invite until she apologizes. I tell him all the things that would suck about that date, that it would really hurt. He says he wants to come their direction a bit but hold a boundary with the date. I tearfully agree after several days of discussion, but tell him I need him to just be ready to plan with me, and I need a lot of reassurance why we’re doing this. He says if we do this he will focus on our wedding and we can just build a happy date, and that he’ll be here for building our marriage.
• The next week he goes to tell his family the date is changed. They apparently apologize to him. They ask him to ask me what they can do to make things better, but not one of them reaches out to me, or offers an apology.
• I try to sit down to plan wedding things with him, and he tells me he just doesn’t have the energy for it. This continues for a full two weeks after we change the date. As I mentioned above, he had a conversation with them… this took up a whole evening, and a day before and after for him to decompress. After two weeks, I tell him this is too painful. We need to not get married this day. It’s using a date to send a message, and it is not only inconvenient and would cost me a lot, but it’s also not what the day is supposed to be about. It is our day, not the family’s day, especially with how we’ve been treated. We cancel the 14th.
• About a month later he finally tells them they need to talk to me, not through him. They each reach out, but each attempt is pretty rough and clearly not wanting to make things right, just argue their point more. I don’t respond to these.
• He begins to go to family events without me. He asks each time if it would hurt my feelings if he went. Every time, I say yes. I want to be there too, but I want to feel safe to go, and that we need to resolve this before I’m comfortable going. He goes anyway. This happened 4 times.
• I beg him, time and time again, to please set a date. We begin to talk of eloping on September 28th and doing a party later. I tell him I’m great with this plan, and when he’s ready to, start the conversation to out details like location for eloping and a date for a reception. I ask him to take the lead on this because I don’t know what he wants anymore and he’s been holding it up since December. He agrees and says he wants to take charge of that. He never does.
• Four. Long. Months. No action. Several friends and our counselor encourage him to just select a date and move forward with building a future together, that the family stuff can get ironed out later. He does nothing.
• I beg him to choose me, set boundaries with the family, explain we can’t show up until things are resolved. He says he wants to, that he agrees boundaries are needed. He doesn’t set one.
• April 6, he says he wants to talk more about his feelings before setting a date. I say okay, but if we can’t have a date by a month, we need to call it quits. I can’t hang on much longer. He agrees, confidently tells me that by May 6, it won’t even be a problem, he’s so sure of it.
• We spend a lot of time talking about family and needing boundaries in April. No concrete discussion of a date, but when I ask about a date, he keeps saying he’s “planning on Sep 28”.
• May 6 comes and goes. No date. I am dejected, despondent. I leave the ring on, trying to give him some more time, and honestly because I can’t handle taking it off yet.
• Mother’s Day comes. He doesn’t attend family gatherings. We did not discuss this. It was his decision. I am not even with him this day. Younger sister texts me and asks “Is (fiance) allowed to come to Mother’s Day.” I immediately panic and start sobbing. I screenshot to fiance and ask him to handle. I tell him this is why I’ve been asking for boundaries. Asking if Alex has permission from me like I’m a parent is inappropriate and I’m not comfortable with being treated this way.
• He tells younger sister this was inappropriate and finally sends a message in the family chat, explaining this has all not been handled well and apologizing for not taking charge of the situation before. He tells them that priorities will be changing, and while he loves them all, I am his first priority. He explains this will take some time before we’re able to talk again. (Again, snaps. It took a long long time but it was well said and a huge step.)
• His younger sister sends an apology that is literally “I’m sorry my message hurt you. Everyone’s feelings are valid but you don’t have to like them I suppose.” She also begs me to help her understand what’s happening from my end and please let us enjoy each other’s company. I do not respond that night.

The broken engagement:

• On May 14, I take the ring off as gently as I can, explaining that if he isn’t ready to set a date with me, it doesn’t seem he’s ready for marriage, but I’m not abandoning him and I still want a future with him. He tries to stop me from doing this and says he was trying, that he would mention aiming for September 28 to elope. I ask him if he thinks he needed to be more specific. He say yes. I remind him he agreed to lead the conversation of planning our day together, and that hasn’t happened. He says he understands and he’s sorry. The ring comes off that night.
• I spend some time alone last weekend, processing in nature. Took our dog camping and trail running. Left him with some questions to process. Came back to him explaining that everything in his life is falling apart right now, he’s terrified he’s behind at work, and he needs a bit of time to right those things before getting married. Explains he knows all these things are bad because he’s not set a date or taken action. Tells me he wants me to have no question that he’s prioritizing me, but needs a second to organize his life. I say this is a good idea, and that I could also use more time to process.
• I finish a kind and calm response to his younger sister, explaining in vague terms our hurt, saying I can’t show up for a relationship without kindness and respect, asking for clarification on her apology from Mother’s Day, and explaining that while I can’t share details, we can’t move forward right now.
  • The response is….. a lot. She explained away her sister’s tantrum as a meltdown and says that I need to recognize that’s how she processes feelings, it’s just neurodivergence. Tells me it’s my fault for not showing up and obviously I just need more time to be okay with it, which is why I’ve been removed from all group chats. Says she’s talked to everyone in the family and has heard the same thing about me, and that if anyone needs to change their minds, she will handle talking with them about that. (?!?!?) Tells me it’s up to me to fix this and when I’m ready they’re all waiting for me to come back so we can be a family again. Thanks me for opening up to her, says she’s honored. Tells me kindness is a given but respect has to be earned and they haven’t disrespected me at all. Says they’re all ready to move on.
  • Fiance has not yet seen this message, but it has caused me a lot of pain. He knows it was sent and has heard some of my frustration with it. Told me he wants to set boundaries with his family, this is all his fault for not taking action, and he’s very sorry. I tell him I appreciate it but I can’t forgive him anymore until he takes action.
• That text made me realize I can’t just continue talking to him like everything is fine. I told him today that I love him very deeply but until he can take steps to protect me, he has become a part of this unsafe pattern for me to stay in. He apologized, profusely, for not being able to take care of me how I deserve right now, told me he just needs a bit of time to get his house in order, and we set a date next week to meet up.

I see all of this as (ex?)-fiance struggling to break from this enmeshment cycle. It seems to me he struggles to confront things in his family and say how he feels, likely due to how the family reacts. I know how hard it is to learn to set boundaries, especially with toxic family. He is trying, taking steps, moving towards me, but it is so slow. I don’t want to abandon him, but I also need to figure out where my limit is. I cannot do this forever. I am in an apartment that I have to leave in October, as I told my landlord I would leave then when we originally set a date. I have a car that I can afford, but would downgrade if we were not merging our lives to save some money. I’m trying, so hard, to be supportive and help him open up about his feelings, but I don’t know how to protect myself. This is incredibly traumatic for me: a family who is emotionally abusive and gaslighting me into thinking this is all fine, people screaming at me and pounding things, not knowing where I’m living, my future being dependent on people who don’t care about my needs or apologize for hurting us.
We have gotten advice of one counselor, and recently he got the perspective of a friend. He isn’t talking to any other people about this and I believe it’s hard for him to see the situation clearly with 5 family members telling him to do one thing, and just me, a friend and our counselor telling him to prioritize our marriage.
Anybody who has been through similar things… help? How do I support him while also protecting myself? Any tips for helping enmeshed partners break the cycle?
TLDR: fiancé is trying to break out of an enmeshed family, and struggling with setting boundaries for the first time. Has not set a wedding date in 6 months because of all the stress. How do I protect myself here?

This is a story of human emotion and gratitude that actually happened to me in game.
tl;dr I attempt to save a moth, ended up becoming a guide and guardian from Hidden Forest onwards. Moth's veteran friend found me in GW, thanked me and repayed me for helping. We 3 became friends. Met a moth I adopted last week in Vault, saw them upgraded, was happy to see me, helped each other out. Had to rest up afterwards, end of happy sappy story.
Note: I started playing Sky on April 12, right around Season of Moments.
Long version:
It all started out with me gleefully soaring the skies of Sanctuary seeking the Green Light and then heading off to Spirit hunt, all the while candle running at once. Having played Sky for a bit over a month, there was still so much to discover.
I was attempting to draw the attention of a second player for that Assembly quest in Hidden Forest. I would periodically double honk and deep call to signal to potential randoms that I needed help, but to no avail. I had my eyes set on awakening as many as Spirits as I can like a Pokémon trainer out to catch 'em all, but what I got instead was unexpected. It MUST have been fate! As I stood up high in the second quest area, far below me, a player had lost their light. As anyone would, I rushed down to help and found the player motionless in the water. I quickly found a couple of the Lights and stood by with a candle to keep them alive. Lighting that player revealed who appeared to be a newbie moth with only a few wedges, bright orange cape, and the short, somewhat spiky cowlicked hair. I will call him Fledgling for convenience reasons. Fledgling didn't move for a few moments, and neither did I. I wanted to see if said player went AFK or was just there but clueless and startled. Relieved, the player saw my presence and lit me back.
I led Fledgling out of the water and rain so they would not take further damage. They seemed to have the general idea of healing near torches, but their movement patterns and uncertainty gave me many tells that this could be a complete beginner. But a part of my skeptical self, seeing the bright orange cape, made me consider they might be more experienced than they let themselves in on as I have attempted to help a moth player once who up and scrammed off without explanation. Still, I chose to abandon the Assembly quest in favor of helping this lost soul, even if just the main game pathway as I can't tell what was desired from my guidance, whether Spirits, WLs, or specific locations. I couldn't help myself seeing the sky kid as they were.
Walking through the Hidden forest, the moth Fledgling followed behind slightly skittishly, but would heal under cover from rain. I played my part running ahead lighting up torches and lanterns to ease the trip and demonstrate that they can do this themselves. In the harder segments with less torches, Fledgling seemed anxious to move ahead, so I ran ahead to the transparent mushrooms to demonstrate their healing properties. I told Fledgling "Use these to restore your light" without words. They understood me and followed suite! And after running under rain, I would periodically deep call to recharge. This social dynamic of teacheguardian-student went on through the rest of the Forest, through the Valley of Triumph, and well into Golden Wastelands. I would always avoid rushing about excessively and waited for their arrival when lost during cloud flight segments. I would honk regularly to help them pinpoint my current location. And thankfully up to the Wastelands, Fledgling still caught up and the server thankfully didn't split. Before entering, I started using emotes to signal that we should fly into the stormy vortex. I used the point emote then tried to look for the "boo" emote to forewarn the existence of terrifying creatures, but Fledgling honked and seemed ready to go. We went into the storm and plunged into the Wastelands. Continuing as normal, I jumped over polluted water to teach Fledgling that it's poisonous whilst deep calling to knock over all the hostile crabs to protect them and any stranger passing by.
We eventually reached the decrepit hall that is the first place ever where players get greeted by Krill. I was a little nervous as I wasn't sure how Fledgling would respond to the Krill and most importantly, if I am capable of protecting others from Krill attacks. Gathering my confidence, I told myself "Do as veterans do and bait the beast!" I saw Fledgling start reliving the Spirit that sits in plain sight and ran to the left, so I I took the right side. I tried to keep the Krill's spotlight just behind me. Reaching the platform at the other end, I began using the bait-and-take-cover tactic to hold it up while Fledgling worked on the Spirit memory. At one point I failed to Krill dodge and 3 Winged Lights flew out of me. I grabbed one myself, the other was retrieved by a kind chibi stranger with a forward pointed mohawk. How that moment warmed my heart! I never was assisted with WL before! I thanked the player profusely but also quickly to run back to the moth. The third was lost as it fell off the platform and into polluted water. It was worth it... worth it to keep Fledgling safe as they succeeded in getting a Spirit by themselves! And near a Krill nonetheless! Well done kiddo!
Catching up with Fledging, they honked, as if to say "let's keep going" (at least what I interpret when they stand still and honk). We grabbed some wax and burned Dark Plants in the little room at the left and exited. Just as we proceeded to the next and accursed segment of GW, another player descended to Fledgling out of nowhere. That player was a chibi with a feminine adorable hairstyle and cape that resembled sakura flower petals, seemingly a veteran judging by the get up. I will call that player Flora. I saw dotted text boxes appear above Fledgling and Flora, confirming to me that they were friends.
It was what happened that moment that left me in tears. After they chattered amongst themselves, they turned to me and bowed multiple times, even Flora blowing a kiss once, and I'd return the gesture. Fledgling must've told their friend Flora what happened and is showing gratitude. Immedietly after, Flora offered to add me as a friend, to which I, with teary eyed disbelief, accepted, and Fledgling too did the same.
... I couldn't handle it. These players might've been casually hopping out and about for all I might know, but to THIS human, this soul on the other end of the server, tears flooded my vision like a sudden Summer storm. The way this moment was timed and coincided at the end of a hall after the first Krill encounter, it looked straight out of a 3D Zelda side quest cutscene after helping an NPC! Scripted and destined to happen! If my life scarred heart was a creature entangled and engulfed by Darkness, then the human warmth of gratitude and generosity I saw was the beaming ray of Light that pierced through said Darkness and cleansed it away. My crying was out of control and disabling. I couldn't keep playing in this emotional state! Even if Fledgling chose not to befriend me after all that, it wouldn't have upset me in the slightest, I only did what I felt was right. But I didn't expect this fateful encounter.
Flora offered to uber us through the Wastelands. Given my intense emotions, it was a welcome offer. I needed to calm down first before depending on myself once more. We were ubered by Flora for what felt like a third of an hour to half an hour taking us to Spirits and WLs in GW. When near a Spirit, I would let go to help with reliving it if it was the 'follow me' type. Flora would accidentally occasionally get Fledgling Krilled to which we promptly go grab the WLs and light the moth up again. But overall, Flora was trying their best and really wanted to help with collecting, I could tell! They both chatted quite alot during our ubering to which I, alas, can't view yet. I would frequently deep call to recharge Flora's wings, knock over crabs as protection, and burned away Darkness along. This went on for quite some time until the two friends decided to head off into the Vault. At GW Elder's temple, Flora offered to unlock the high five and hug. Holding back tears, I accepted and did both friend emotes. If I remember correctly, I think Fledgling was only able to offer a high five, but I wouldn't be offended even if nothing was granted.
We ran about for a bit collecting pickups and went to the 4 player levitation door. We were only 3 and Fledgling seemed to have not yet got the emote. Me and Flora were only two, so they abandoned the door and seemed to have gotten into a lengthy conversation with their friend. Meanwhile, I went back and forth levitating and running towards the hall honking to call upon players. This went on a few more minutes. Eventually, a random player who happened to pass by came along to levitate with us. Flora joined in, making us 3. I kept honking while levitating and had the camera facing the hall behind me where players come from.
A bright orange player came... "Huh?? Who was that?" I thought to myself. The player was a stranger moth who I friended last week at the time I post this. That moth was my twin, except far less wedges, extremely skittish and clueless, and needed help with entering the Sanctuary Islands. Earlier, that moth was a brown caped girl with cute little pigtails. That moth know arrived with an orange cape and ponytail hair! They have upgraded! (Meanwhile I'm sparing my currency for rare items and Travelling Spirits haha, thus I maintained a moth appearance whilst becoming familiar with a decent amount of things).
I will call that player Lil Moff as that was a baby moth I (as players say) "adopted" and seemed super shy. Lil Moff ran up and promptly asked for a high five, and gleefully I did! I was happy to see them! With Lil Moff as our 4th player, we worked together to unlock the door. Me and Lil Moff went inside to get Spirits we may have missed. I was hoping Flora and Fledgling join up, but Flora seemed to want to talk with Fledgling, and to my luck, the server seemed to have seperated us, or they left. I wanted to show my appreciation for their hospitality but... maybe in the future if fate brought us together again.
Lil Moff patiently helped with Spirits behind the door. Apparently I missed one purple (following) Spirit but already had the other. After finishing, I then gestured towards the Repository. Lil Moff followed, and then once inside, gestured at the Scholar who I forgot to complete quests for. (In my defense, I alternate between quests to prevent boredom). I did one of the Shared Space quests, and by the time I finished, Lil Moff seemed to have other things in mind to do. Watching the cutscene of the second Shared Space quest, with the Spirit heart brokenly showing gratitude and longing for a long lost someone, my emotions came flooding back once more. I couldn't keep playing. I was both exhausted and full of emotions. I exited, grabbed my daily seasonal candles of Wastelands, and called an end to this rollercoaster of a play session.
You may be thinking "Why so emotional? Chill out." There is context to me as an individual. Being as vague as possible as you and I are both strangers, I harbor alot of unsorted emotional baggage and trauma. These negative experiences accumulated throughout my life in such great quantities whilst having very little help that I developed a sort of distrust complex and crippling social anxiety. I heard many horror stories about toxic vets this, toxic vets that, trolls, intentional Krilling, creeps, staring and ignoring. I told myself "Hey, toughen up, princess. You gotta put up and shut up." I got conditioned into not expecting kindness nor gratitude. So... all these moments, from encountering the lost helpless Fledgling all the way up to meeting up with my own moth I helped last week in a single day. All this without words! You can imagine how overwhelming it was to have so many beautiful encounters in one sitting! It was such an unlikely thing that I feel like I dreamt up all these incidents. I sit here now, not quite feeling pride, but the emotional "Do I deserve such wholesome treatment?" That internalization is a huge reason why I broke down into tears coupled with absolutely not expecting anything from others.
I DO think this happened for a reason. I DO think I was being given a chance at healing. I DO believe this was a test set out for me. I DO believe these moments had a lesson behind them. I DO believe all this were my pains being heard and answered. It's not me who saved a moth. The moth, their friend, and strangers saved me.
It's like the warmth of a candle burning away dark plants that engulfed my Spirit so trapped underneath pain so quiet and still.
Lesson learned: That one deed that you do can weave into a large tapestry of collective harmony, a chain reaction of one soul reaching a hand to the other.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart if you read my whole sappy story.