Hello and welcome to Day 5 of the June Recovery Challenge, how are you?
Wishing you peace and success for today :)

Today's check in:

Is there anything stressing you out this week? Anything you need to vent about? Let it rip! :)
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There is no bonus exercise today, because it's Wednesday! :)
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WHAT IF I HAVE A SLIP DURING THE CHALLENGE?
if you have a slip and want to turn it into a recovery learning opportunity, here are some questions: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZhdjmzEVA6UTCNAEU53xn9LuN8TOfLbl/edit
(you don't have to post your answers if you don't want to, but I do recommend writing or typing them out somewhere)
HOW CAN I GET A REMINDER TO CHECK IN TOMORROW?
Copy/paste the following text into your comment to get a reminder from Reddit:
RemindMe!
When you get your reminder, look here for a link to the next day's post :)

So a few months ago i succesfully modded my 3ds and completely loaded it with games. Recently my gf said she wanted the same for her 3ds and asked me to do it. So i thought alright i'll just have to crack it put the custom firmware on and if i copy paste my SD card to hers, she'll have all the games I have.
This ended up not being the case. Soon as I put the copied SD card in it just looks like nothing changed all the custom firmware is still on tho. It's worthy to note that i have a "new 3ds xl" and she has an old 3ds xl. idk if that is the problem. If so how do i still make an SD copy that is compatible?
Thank you in advance

Alright I never thought I'd get on reddit for this but here we are. I (28F) and my "boyfriend"(M42) Have been dating for the past 2 years and are in a LDR.
At first everything was good we had great communication. When I brought up an issue or a difficulty we were facing we would work at it together and ensure we prioritized our relationship. He talked about marriage non stop and claimed that's what he wanted from life. Often he would say "I want you forever you seem to be the only one who understand me".
Over time, he stopped putting in efforts. Although we would see each other in person he wouldn't be able to have any emotional vulnerability nor intimacy unless sex was involved. I raised this issue multiple times and it was brushed off aside saying it was in my head. More so recently the romance has completely disappeared. While he used to text me love letters, keep me updated on his day and prioritized our time together he started going out more often without keeping me posted (pretty much doing 9am -4am the next day with no messages)
I brought up how this bothered me as he had cheated in the past and it leaves me with crippling anxiety. While it wasn't an issue me asking for a few messages here and there it became a hardous task. He currently isn't employed and he isn't placing any efforts into getting a job either. Every single time I advised: What displeased me he'd say "be patient and stop being so critical of my life"
I wanted to see some change so I once again requested my needs were met. (Multiple basic points mainly to improve the communication) I waited 4 months and brought it up every 2 weeks to remind him we needed to work at it if there was going to be a future. He ignored my requests.
It's been a good 2 weeks now he goes out and completely disregards me multiples days in a row. I told him I wasn't happy and I wanted to break things off he got highly irate and said I didn't deserve anything more than what he was giving as he is doing his best.
2 weeks ago I met someone . It's been 1 month since the break-up. My ex and i had agreed to remain friends due to common friends. However he started calling me names and saying that he wouldn't let me go. How if I saw someone else he would off himself. Im starting to fear my decision. Although I love my ex, his immaturity makes me feel like leaving was the best decision for me.
The person I'm currently seeing understand what I'm going through and is ensuring we are taking our time. We already talked about what we both wanted from a relationship and it aligns perfectly. He (28M) is very stable and is looking for a partner that will work with him for a better future. He's in my city and he's been more understanding, patient, hard working at our new story than my ex ever has been.
I have to ask, due to everything AITAH for leaving my previous relationship and finding someone New within less than a month? I'm anxious im making a mistake.

Question about macro that is dragging down formulas
Optimising macro in a model
Hello,
I have got a macro that selects a range created with a formula outside VBA and then copies down all the formulas located in the first row of that range, then copies and paste as values to avoid underperformance.
I have the same process set up for 5 sheets which is taking up a lot of time when I use the macro.
I think that the first think that could be done better is to define these ranges in VBA rather than invoking the excel formulas. Have a look at the code:
Range(range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow"),range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow").Offset(1,0).End(x1Down)).Filldown
Calculate
Sheet1.Select Range(range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow"),range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow").Offset(1,0).End(x1Down)).Select Selection.copy Selection.pastespecial x1pastevaluenumbersandformats
summary-by-circuit-calcrow is a excel formula that I defined to be the first row containing the formulas that I want to drag down.
Let me know your thoughts

I have been applying and interviewing for the past 4 months straight.
I edit my cv and cover letter to each role I apply for. I do my homework, I am a confident speaker and clear story teller. I have a masters degree and internships under my belt.
Why do I feel like the interview goes really well and the recruiter says "I will email you in a few days with the next steps" but then I hear nothing back for over a month. I usually email the recruiter after a day or 2 after the date they said they would get back to me for a follow up. Usually just ghosted. I did get one feedback email which I really appreciated and helped me prep for other interviews.
At this point I would be happy getting a copy/paste email saying I was rejected after the first round of interviews but hearing nothing back and my email being ignored is just harsh.
At the end of an interview I always end with this questions, "is there anything you are unsure of regarding my application/presentation of myself, I would be happy to clear any doubts before we end the call". Usually they say they have no doubts.
I want to work. At this point I would do a job where I can just learn the skills on the job if it means I can be a part of a cool company and work towards something and get paid.
Also I am so over my friends who are fully employed complaining about their current jobs or how difficult it is for them to find another job right now. At this point I would be happy with a shitty job and earning a salary vs feeling shitty with no money and constant ghosting. Thanks for reading my little vent session :)

Since the release of P3R people have been comparing it to the og P3 and how it’s basically a copy paste from P5R like why people are so toxic and can’t enjoy things without making these useless comparisons??og P3 was good for its time in the early 2000s with its visuals and art style but P3R is literally much better visually and also gameplay wise than the original with many added features and fun mechanics that truly makes it 10 times better than the original P3 just stop making these silly comparisons and enjoy the experience with appreciation cuz we got it after so many years since the og version of the game ok??

I (23F) never had a conversation with my partner? (24M)
Throughout the year we have been dating, it is mostly me talking and him listening to me. Whenever we text, it is me bringing up topics, telling stories, or opening up. I do not even remember one case of him starting a topic unless it’s to ask me when he can pick me up. However, we still end up texting or talking the whole day, as he gets mad if I put him on seen. It gets so tough to do that, because it just feels like I’m talking to a wall the whole time.
When we see each other in real life, it’s the same. I am usually the one doing talking and he merely replies or stays quiet. If I do not speak, we are probably going to spend the most night silently.
While this has been going on for so long, it only hit me today when I was texting him about something bothering me and he only replied one word like usual. Sometimes, I like when a person just listens, but I miss when someone is interested in my problem, or interested in asking me more questions about myself.
I would say that the only time he says more than one or two words is when we are fighting, or if I ask him something specific and force the answer out of him. We never had a deep conversation about anything, only rarely does he engage in a discussion with me.
In the past, I have attempted to have a conversation with him about it and asked why he’s so quiet. He merely shrugged and told me he just likes listening.
With his friends, he’s very talkative.

Is it possible to copy a table view as 'copy link to view' from another workspace and paste it into my workspace?
I've tried, but it only allows me to 'mention page'.
Is there another way to do it correctly?

Hi brisbane,
Just hoping on here and seeing if anyone had any advice or new any organisations that might be able to help.
I’m ex army with some extreme mental health and loneliness concerns and have been struggling extensively over the past 5-6 months. Currently out of work, no car, in rental arrear with them threatening to give me notice to leave or the next few days as well as DVA messing me around.
Have been trying to find work, applying constantly with no luck and it doesn’t help I don’t have a vehicle. I am still quite young but I just can’t seem to get things moving.
I don’t know, just feeling extremely hopeless and have been thinking about just ending it all. I want to improve my life but I don’t know where to get help. If anyone knows some organisations that could possibly help guide me I’d really appreciate it.
Sorry for the wall of text, just helps to vent somewhere I guess.
Thanks for reading.

Hello,
I have got a macro that selects a range created with a formula outside VBA and then copies down all the formulas located in the first row of that range, then copies and paste as values to avoid underperformance.
I have the same process set up for 5 sheets which is taking up a lot of time when I use the macro.
I think that the first think that could be done better is to define these ranges in VBA rather than invoking the excel formulas. Have a look at the code:
Range(range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow"),range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow").Offset(1,0).End(x1Down)).Filldown
Calculate
Sheet1.Select Range(range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow"),range("summary-by-circuit-calcrow").Offset(1,0).End(x1Down)).Select Selection.copy Selection.pastespecial x1pastevaluenumbersandformats
summary-by-circuit-calcrow is a excel formula that I defined to be the first row containing the formulas that I want to drag down.
Let me know your thoughts

Hi, I'm JoJo Mancini. A few months ago, I called out ImJustZander for spreading horrible lies about the Dream Team in a YouTube video you can watch here.
(the links should be bold)
In that video, I discussed how Zander has made three videos about Dream that are obviously fabricated to make Dream look bad, as well as other content creators.

1. In this one he claims "Dream confirmed a really disturbing audio in a fit of rage."
2. In this one he says Dream performed sexual acts towards a Technoblade cosplayer.
3. In this video he summarizes all the stuff he’s said.

In my video, I go through each claim Zander has made about Dream and debunk it, even including clips from Dream's "the truth" video so Dream can speak for himself. The video is chopped into sections, so if you watch it, you can skip to each person I defend.
Anyways, this is the aftermath of everything that has come out since then that I have been sitting on because I wanted to be the bigger person. But since Zander wants to say I’m insane, I’m just going to speak up about every stupid thing ive seen since then
After the video was uploaded, I sent the video to Zander in DMs and told him to watch it fully before he says anything since I had said I would take legal action if he tried to slander me in any way. link to our dms
He makes a paragraph for each point of my video, and my (better) paragraphs correlate to his.
Here are some things I’ve noticed from those chats:

• He always starts off his response to anyone with “I’m a survivor of rape,” which is horrible and I’m sorry that happened, but that is a form of guilt-tripping. While being a survivor of a traumatic event like rape is significant and deserving of empathy, it does not excuse unrelated harmful behavior.
• He then goes on to say that there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that “victims” are terrified to come forward with. (I’ll come back to this point with Sophie Texas.)
• He says he’s spoken to NatCat about videos he’s posted about Dream and that NatCat has more behind-the-scenes stuff that hasn’t come out yet.

-He says he has a team and a crisis counselor
Crisis counselor
(copy and pasted from my reddit, I want to debunk this right off the bat)
It's becoming increasingly clear to me that this team of researchers doesn't actually exist. In a text he sent me following the video, he mentioned having a crisis counselor on his team to assist the victims. When I requested the email of this crisis counselor to have a discussion, he responded with, "You can’t just demand to talk to my staff; respectfully, anything you need to say, just speak to me. They don’t want to deal with any of the social media stuff." In one part of his message, he states that I must communicate with him, yet a couple of paragraphs later, he concludes with, "This will be my last message because I still feel like you’ll be a little bit combative, and I have so much stuff to do." So, am I supposed to talk to him or not?
Furthermore, he claims that this "crisis counselor" doesn't want to handle social media matters, but they supposedly specialize in assisting victims from social media. Moreover, a crisis counselor typically operates on a hotline, and it's unlikely that he has a 24/7 hotline with just one person. It's also unusual for a crisis counselor to be integrated into a social media team.
Zander doesn't personally know any of the victims in his narrative, yet he supposedly reaches out to them. However, if someone famous were in a dramatic situation and a random person approached them offering to connect them with a crisis counselor, who would agree to that? Anyone with a social media presence (or any level of common sense) would likely be trained to understand that venting to strangers, especially ones who might disseminate what's said, is unwise.
Hypothetically speaking, if this is indeed what's happening, then all the behind-the-scenes evidence we don't see isn't real (obviously).
NatCat
In a now-deleted tweet, (that can be seen in my video at 11:27) he talks about how he always reaches out to victims before he makes his videos, and in dms said he had reached out to NatCat before his videos came out. He says that NatCat never said she was lying or stretching the truth. Obviously, NatCat wouldn’t say she’s lying.
Important note: NatCat and Zander follow each other on Twitter and probably have since the first time Zander reached out. They even have a few replies to each other long after the Dream truth video came out.
After Dream’s video came out, he said he was going to make a response to dreams video. He never does because Dream did an amazing job in his video. but then a month later claims theres other behind the scene stuff that hasn't come out yet
NatCat has multiple tweets saying "leave Dream alone" and "he didn’t groom anyone", also claiming to have spoken to Dream in DMs. I think NatCat is just a confused, sad person. I think she was told stuff that she thought would be helpful if she spoke up about to help victims but just got told shitty information by shitty people. Out of everyone in this post, this is one of two I genuinely feel bad for. Please dont send her hate from this.
in a now deleted tweet I have saved NatCat says "Hey guys, somebody directly involved here! Leave Dream alone dude. Amanda lied and was served legal papers. Anastasia edited screenshots. And Jamie wasn't groomed." (anyone who wants these screenshots can dm me on twitter at jo_jo_mancini)
tweet of natcat saying she was lied too
NatCat later claims, about three months after the Dream truth video with the Sophie Texas situation where Dream says if you have a problem with me then message me, she said in a now-deleted tweet, “Oh, you mean the person I’ve been trying to message for two months? IN TER EST ING.” leaving a month difference where she wasn't trying to reach out to dream after the truth video dropped
NatCat claims she wasn’t groomed and she’s not a victim of Dream’s; she was just lied to. So what the hell is Zander talking about? What is NatCat trying to reach out to Dream with? My bets are on them plotting something against Dream again, and when whatever they made up went public, there would be “proof” of NatCat trying to reach out beforehand. Making the timeline Dream posting his video, one month of them coming up with a perfect lie, two months of plotting evidence, and maybe a future tiktok from zander 🤷‍♀️
But what are the odds that zander would get other content creators who hate dream to tell him their stories so he can make slanderous videos? haha thats crazy talk...
Sophie Texas
If you’re not caught up on the drama, Sophie claims the Dream Team are horrible people behind the scenes. And the “behind the scenes” was her not getting a response in an Among Us game… four years ago… okay.
In one of Zander’s more recent TikToks, he claims not all MCYT are bad, but the ones he’s spoken to are the good ones. And then he name-drops Aimsey TV, MaxGG, and Sophie Texas. name dropping tiktok
There is just no chance Sophie has anything actually bad on Dream except for accidentally being ignored in an Among Us lobby. So what are you talking to Zander about? Are you trying to make your stupid story into a stupid TikTok? Make Dream look bad by spreading lies? I bet. Because it doesn’t matter if Zander is lying or not to brain-dead TikTokers; if someone has enough followers, they must always be telling the truth. Zander always talks about how he helps these creators behind the scenes, and yet this is the list of all the creators he’s supposedly talked to. And before you say, well, there could be others! No, there are not. And no amount of alluding to there being some can actually make these hero delusions come true.
Aimsey TV
So in the TikTok mentioned above, he name-drops Aimsey and says they’ve spoken a little bit, so whatever they talked about, Zander must have liked it since he says Aimsey is a "good MCYT".
And yet, the videos Aimsey could have complimented on are GeorgeNotFound “raping” Caiti, Zander taking clips of Caiti’s VODs (which is against her boundaries) [and I’ll come back to this], Caiti’s and Shubble’s stories being used as a clout grab, and lies about Dream that have already been disproven.
Alright, pick one. Which one do you think she complimented? And the fact Zander lies and exaggerates in each video, and Aimsey still complimented it? What are you, as a content creator, praising this? Especially when there are other content creators out there who are reporting this stuff in support of Caiti without lying or exaggerating? Why not compliment them?
Caitibuggz
Aimsey and Caiti are probably close; Caiti has probably told Aimsey how much she doesn’t like these TikTokers doing this since she told us on stream she doesn’t like it. Caiti Buggz doesn't even like ImJustZander too.
"Even the fact that reporters are messaging me, asking for my take on it all or my comment on it, is insane. Actually, choke! Are you joking? It’s insane!" This is a direct quote from Caiti Buggz, said at 24:19 in this video . The proof that Zander is the reporter she's talking about can be seen at 11:27 in my video. There is a screen recording of his now-deleted tweet, where he says, "Also, my process has always been to see if we can reach out to the victims. Most of the time, we're able to. I have a crisis counselor on standby for if a victim does feel triggered and needs to talk to someone. We weren't able to get in contact with Caiti, so we just went forward with all of our notes from her streams and George's stream."
So if Aimsey isn’t endorsing Zander’s Caiti video, is she talking about the Dream videos? Fork found in kitchen
Before the GNF and Caiti situation even happened, Dream was invited to a party at the same TwitchCon Anaheim. He declined the invite with the infamous "the ops are there." Aimsey also happened to be at this event. The Dream Team knew that the Brighton Bastards didn't like them even before the Caiti-GNF situation. This could be about the accusations that Dream had on him at the time, but Aimsey could have just talked to Dream about it.
A lot of content creators knew Dream was innocent even before his video came out because they actually talked to him. Here's a direct quote from Dream's Reddit:
"Many creators that expressed to me behind the scenes that 'even if the allegations are true' they wouldn't care because they're not a big deal, are some of the same people that were later praised for 'no longer associating with me' due to these allegations. Many creators never asked me any questions at all, even sent private messages of support, and then chose to ask me questions the same day I had drama with another creator they were better friends with. Many creators pretended not to be associated with me publicly, making jokes of the potential abuse, while privately being positive to me. Other creators dropped me as soon as I was no longer working on projects they were heavily invested in. But were perfectly fine 'playing dumb' when it benefited them for their next big stream. Many creators that knew about this specific situation for a long time and hated me long before it, continued to make slights, without me ever having any idea why they were doing it. They publicly attacked me far more than ever saying anything negative towards George. Even though I had no idea of anything remotely about this situation being a thing, and they thought that he was a horrible assaulter. It's incredibly obvious to me that this is because they already hated me, and not because they care about any potential victim, even if they are close friends."
And yeah, Dream’s busy, but I fully believe Dream would have been able to talk things through if he was ever even given a chance.
Also, side note: Zander was saying I was weird and obsessive about Dream even though we don't know each other, but honestly, count your blessings. If I knew Dream, you'd literally be cooked.
Even Prezoh, a close friend of Caiti’s, has Zander blocked, which I'm not entirely sure is from him being annoying or the Caiti situation, 50/50 chance bro is BLOCKED
He says he’s spoken to MaxGG, but the only MaxGG video on his page is the one where Max is screaming for seven minutes. So Max was probably thanking him for that. But that's still odd; he's a reporter breaking your best friend’s boundaries and making GNF out to be a rapist, and you're still praising him? Why?
I think Caiti has been convinced by her friends that the Dream Team are bad people (which is something George himself has said), and she's the only one who genuinely feels hurt by George, while the others are doing everything they can to take down the Dream Team. That's why the other content creators are praising Zander for spreading false info, while Caiti is the one who says she hates that people are getting their info from TikTok or clips or reporters and not from her directly. She says that a lot throughout this VOD.
final thoughts Caitibugzz VOD [March 24, 2024]
Im genuinely interest on what anyone else has to say about this so please leave your thoughts below

TW: mentions of suicide
I’m not even sure where to begin. So my family really all has issues with alcohol, but currently going to specially talk about my mom and aunt (her sister). This won’t even really be getting into even the half of it. I apologize for how long this is going to be, but here we go.
They both drink..a lot…and they both do this thing where they say “I’m not drunk, I’m tipsy” as if that makes it any better. Or they’ll say “Well I’m not as bad as my sister(yes they both say this)”. They both also have a slew of mental health issues.
Within the past year while I was transitioning to a new job where I lived 2 hours away, my dad texts me that something happened with my mom. They had gone out to dinner or something and my mom was drunk. My dad calls her out on it and they get into a huge fight. My mom then downs her entire Xanax prescription that was just filled. My dad doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t take her to the hospital bc he’s afraid of what my mom will do, etc. (also my family is very much we have to keep appearances up). I come down immediately to be with them and my mom is awake but on another fucking planet. I still suggest taking her to the hospital, but no one else is on board. During her being out of it, she falls and her face is literally black and blue. I try talking to her about why she OD’d and I’m worried about her drinking, it goes nowhere.
Flash forward to yesterday, my dad texts me “did your mom tell you about (insert aunt’s name here)” ?” I say “no what happened is she okay?” So my aunt lives in the same town as my family and I (no longer live 2 hours away I moved back) but her kids live in a state away.
She was in the other state visiting her kids, one who just recently had a baby. My aunt was holding the baby, tripped, and fell. From what I know the baby is okay, but does have a bruise from the incident. My cousin was pissed because of this and got into it with my aunt. My cousin told her if she can’t get her drinking under control she won’t be allowed to see their kid. But my mom made sure to tell me, “she wasn’t drunk she was tipsy”. I’m not sure if the fight continued when she got home or if she was still upset from it, but then she gets really drunk, and OD’s on every single medication she has. Took every bottle. Blood pressure meds, psych meds, etc. she blacked out, and when she kind of came to was able to call 911 on herself. They’re still trying to stabilize her vitals better, and as far as I know physically she’s okay for the most part. Her heart rate is still very high and she’s having uncontrollable shakiness. Once her vitals are more stable she will get moved to a psych unit.
So I’m asking my mom if there’s anything I can do, if my cousins know, etc. and my mom tells me my family (mom, dad, brother, me, and my husband). Are the only ones who know and we can’t tell anyone else ln the family because then my cousin will use this against my aunt and never let her see her grandchild again. Which I’m like that’s a bit drastic I think they deserve to know their mom is in the hospital and I 100% support my cousin for wanting to protect their family. I actually had a conversation with my husband a few weeks ago in which I told him basically I was worried about this same scenario happening with my mom if and when we have a kid.
I’m just having a really hard time coping with this. Having 2 family emergencies of alcoholics OD’ing within a year, while on my husband’s side just lost his cousin from alcoholism, being expected to keep this secret, and wondering what the fuck is going to be my mom and aunt’s (really my entire family’s) wake up call if that’s even possible at this point. This is just a lot on me with all of the other struggles I have going on in my personal life and bringing up a lot of unresolved trauma regarding alcohol and alcoholics in my life. Thankfully I do have therapy today.
If you read this far, thank you.

I see a lot of post about people crying the death of their pets.
Here are some advices to help you keeping them alive.
First of all.
Only ANIMAL FRIEND is needed (creatures you will be able to tame depends on the level of the card)
Only animals spawning alone (so Albinos deathclaw isn’t possible as he never spawns alone) in a POI (check maps for that).
I had a lot of pets in the past.
I actually have a Megasloth on my first camp slot (got 3 slots)
I found it in south east around POI 56-57, if I remember well.
Now, I can give you an advice to keep your pet alive.
Tame it with your « second » camp, not your « main » one where you want him to stay.
Let him get to it once tamed then, switch to your « main » camp.
1- During the trip he will evolve to lvl 100 and depending on which region your new camp is, perhaps mutate.
2- It will make your pet A COPY of the one you originally tamed (at your second camp, if you followed my advise).
This copy thing is very important to understand.
Now, your pet can die at your main camp, you will still have it at your 2nd camp as the one at your main camp is « a copy ».
I tested it this weekend.
Got Megasloth at camp 1
Sent it at camp 2
Then sent it at camp 3 (near SBQ and a Mirelurk queen spawn).
Mirelurk queen killed my Megasloth lvl 100. I don’t have it anymore at camps 2 and camp 3.
When I make camp 1 active, he is still alive at camp 1.
What I haven’t tested yet cause I don’t want to move my camps is :
If I store camps 2 and/or camp 3, and move them to rebuild them somewhere, will « the copy » come back (as he still exist in the original camp he was tamed) or not…?
This I don’t know. If someone want to test, you are welcome.
Hope this will help you for future pets.
Have fun in wastelands guys 😉

Hello ! i have background check issue already 1 month and everytime i txt them i get same message which says nothing useful . i have a feeling someone is sitting in other side and just copy/paste message to me . how can i contact real person or how can i get real information? such a big company and 1 star rating in customer service ,even doordash can fix such a basic problems . thanks

He [25] is my [22] best friend of 11 years. He dated my sister [24] a decade ago when they were 14 (her) and 15 (him). They were each other's first boyfriend/girlfriend but they only dated for 2 weeks because my mother didn't approve as they are too young (you see. We're living in a very conservative country). Their interactions mostly revolved around texts. Had minimal interactions, almost no physical contact because "too awkward" and "too embarassed to talk". Just imagine being 15 then you're around your crush. They cant even be alone together.
My sister was his first love. First heartbreak. But not his first kiss, hug, and even sex. Just a kiss would be a total deal breaker for me tbh. I don't think they even held hands. But it took him yrs to move on, and in those yrs, he tried to get closure.
On the other hand, I was his best friend. I practically know everything about him. His potentials, shortcomings, flaws, his humor. He said he's so comfortable around me that he can be vulnerable with me. (if farting in my presence is included, he emphasized it way too seriously). I am like that with him too. He's the only person I only let myself to cry in front to. Fyi, he never saw me as a woman, if you know what i mean.
I was young then, I didn't know that if your sister and her boyfriend broke up, you should also cut off your communications with him. I'll justify it and tell everyone we were best friends so I can't just do that. I have soft spot for him. But honestly, if i could being back the past now that I'd known better, I think I would cut him off.
But 11 years later, our relationship dynamics changed. In context, his last relationship ended five yrs ago due to cheating. Had traumatized him and sworn to himself he'd focus on his success instead. But then we happened.
We fell in love. and I fell harder now that I'm sure I am not just some rebound or backburner. (Because you'll know when someone truly loves you, you will also know if they're just using you).
Our mother found out (I told her, then he talked to her and assure her he's serious with me). My sister found out. didn't like it of course. Now she hates him. Her reason was because a lot of people know about their past and she's scared people will judge me. But I can't brush off the tought that she was betrayed too and I understand. People didnt know we were friends before. I dont think my sister knew how deep this is. She just thinks he's an as@h*le who just dated me because he can't have her. He's aware of my trust issues and he already proved me enough that it's not like that.
I feel great when we're together. Just best friends and partners chilling after a stressful day at work. But at the eyes of my sister, I feel like I am seen as a victim and a b***h.
Okay so, the only people who know about us are my friends and some of his family members and relatives. His parents like me and would constantly tease him to me. He told me one time that when we were young and while everyone knows he fancies my sister, his parents joked about him ending up with me instead. but lets not delve into that. I think his siblings who were still in middle school like me too.
So before i forgot, He is not just a great partner, but also a great person to other peoople.
But would these facts be enough?
Should we work this out? Is it so socially immoral to try to work this out?
Just thinking about losing him suffocates me. But thinking about people who will judge us suffocates me too.
Tldr: we were best friends for 11 yrs before started dating but he was my sister's ex 10 yrs ago. they dated for two weeks with minimal interactions.

(english is not my first language so forgive me ) Before starting, i (m28)want to tell you about my brother to give you a better understanding. Lets call him jack(m28). So me and Jack never really got together as brothers. We used to play but he was always angry with me for i dont know what reason. Even when little kids he refused to play with me. Our parents did everything to get us together, but it always failed because jack just didn't care. When we were teenagers, i just gave up trying to be nice and friends to him. If he didn't care, why would I? He was always that nerdy guy who looked his family had problems and that guy who you would wanna hug, but there was not a problem at home. Our parents never played favorites and got us the same things for birthdays and Christmas. I would say the person he has become now is because of his friend group. He literally made my life a living hell. Like one time he poured orange juice on me in front of my crush (i think it was my mistake, i shouldn't have told him who my crush was) and then said "oh my god i am so sorry let me fix it for you". Like this dude was creating problems and then trying to solve it.
Enough about jack, let me tell you about the recent things.
Before the covid, jack was really nerdy kinda (as I told you), but after covid (mainly after 2022) he became "that guy" iyk. He grew muscles and started to become the center of attraction for women. I was very jealous and I wanted to become like him (i know that was very immature of me) so for like 6 months I changed everything. From my diet to my physicue, nothing was left unchanged. He was also kinda shocked when he saw me but didn't try to show it.
In the starting of 2023, I went to my best friend party and there i meet daisy(fake name, f29. From my perspective, i would say we immediately hit it off. She was also mature (unlike me at that time). She helped me grew up. We were like that perfect couple. Our sex life was also great. We rarely fought. But one problem was that daisy had a lot of trust issue from previous relationship (this was my first relationship, no my crush and I didn't date). She told me to always had my Snapchat location on whenever I went outside without her. Ik this was a red flag but i thought that this was because of her trauma and just said yes to whatever she asked me to do. Her interests were also very similar to mine like coding and playing basketball ect. Also important thing, jack had feelings for daisy but didn't say anything
In July 2023, i got a job offer in germany. I wouldn't have to live and work there, but i had to go and sign the paperwork. It was a wfh job. I told my gf that i would be home by maximum 2 weeks. I also bid my mom and dad goodbye and maybe that's how my brother also know about me leaving. I catched my flight and left for Germany. I told my gf that my phone would off in the flight so please don't call and ask me how my flight went because I would call and text her on my own. After reaching my hotel in germany, my phone was about to be dead (i played games all the way from home) so I didn't call or text my gf. In the home my gf was panicking bcuz my flight reached 3 hours ago and I hadn't still called her. She called me again and again and my phone was discharged so I couldn't pick it up. I also left my hotel room to wander aimlessly in germany. She texted my brother and asked him if I had texted and called him. He knew what needed to be done and quickly told daisy "I know where he went but I won't tell you since i am a good brother" (this is not the real convo, just in a nutshell) daisy thought I was fucking cheating on her. She asked him "wait please tell me where he went" and he was like "since you are a good person, i don't want you to treated like this. My brother (me) is actually cheating" ofc he didn't tell her exactly like this word by word, but the meaning was just this. My gf went real mad and started to scream at my brother and what not. Mind you I was just checking out germany. After coming from the market i finnaly talk to daisy but she won't pick up my phone. I thought she was asleep. In my home my brother and my parents were consolling daisy as she was crying real bad. My dad got mad at seeing daisy cry and he called me. I picked it up and he was screaming like alot. I couldn't exactly figure out what but I know that it was about daisy crying and how could I do this to her. I didnt understand any of it so just hung up the phone. My brother was speaking up a lie after lie nonstop about me . He is very good at manipulation people.
After that talk with my father, none of my family members picked up my phone calls. My gf, dad, mother, my brother all rejected each of my phone calls. Well my brother and daisy got very comfortable with each other and he acted like that "caring one". My brother had made me the villain and himself the hero when I didn't even know what i did. Thankfully my job interview went very smoothly and I got that job.
After reaching home, my father called me for the first time in 2 weeks and told me that we needed to have "the talk" which was more than likely "the yell" since I was getting yelled at by 4 people (my mom, dad, brother, and daisy)at the same time. Well after 2 hours, i finally understood what they were telling for. Well according to my brother, I had told him that I was going to cheat on my gf and also told him not to tell anyone which was COMPLETE BULLSHIT. So I just snapped at my brother. For them i was the loser guy who cheated a nice caring women But the person who told them that was nothing short of a devil. There was a lot of fighting with my dad and brother, and I think he did a pretty good job of portraying himself as the good guy. Well I just cut contact with each and everyone of them. I just didn't want to see their face again.
Now this is the part which boils me down. My dad and brother called me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to talk. I was not exactly keen but did it anyways. Well my brother wants to forgive to me . He didn't say that he betrayed me, just that we need to look forward the past and look towards the future. He also told me that he was engaged to daisy and he will propose to her, and he wants to be his best man. I just left without outtering a single word. Now today he again called me and just said "soo is it yes or no" . This was not for the bestman, but whether i forgave him or not.
I really don't want to forgive him.. So reddit, WIBTA for not forgiving my brother after he betrayed me? (Also i knowing did not do a good job at writing this, so if you have any questions please ask in the replies)

Lame title, lame question. I know.
But before you tell me that I write horribly, just know that I ain't a native english speaker, that I don't live in any english speaking country, and that I'm writing on the spur of the moment. I am, in fact, an horrible writer, but you have no way of knowing it for sure, so I can use language as an excuse with you. Oh, well, I guess I gave that away quick. Shit. Anyway...
The list of careers I wished I could embark on is immense, ever since I was a little child: a saint, movie director, artist (for which I studied in highschool, an "high school of the arts", my biggest regret), psychologyst, musician (for which I have a degree... at the worst possible university); videogame designer, sound designer, etc. I just got 30, and I guess I'm living a 1/3 of a life crisis. Where I live life expectancy goes all the way up to 85, quite often more, so that's a good estimate. Kind of all the dreams I've had, so far, have been dunked, and I'm working at my father's quirky theatre production company as an organizesecretary. So far, I don't like it. The fact that I despise having to talk to people who only know three topics of conversation really doesn't help my mood. The topics? "me and my career", "fuck the government it sucks", "did you see that guy he's so laughable", sometimes in sequence, and sometimes shuffled around, doesn't help at all. Add something about vaccines or global conspiracies in the mix once every two days. I'm a disagreeable introvert and all I can do is seethe in silence.
Last year I was hit by the cold shower of pessimistic nihilism, and I fear none of my desires will ever come to fruition. I'm kinda at the border of just getting a real job and call it quits with my artistic desires. Enter my latest fixation: writing.
I've read quite a few books in my life. Mostly, nonfiction, dealing with pretty much anything other than physics for reasons unbeknownst to me, and a good deal of fantasy and sci-fi as well. I've always had a penchant for building worlds just for the sake of it, and I always get hypnotized and completely lost by foreign worlds. I used to play a lot with my brothers. Our toys would be characters in endless stories. Sometimes we wouldn't even use toys, but we would just enter in a sort of trance-state by which we would narrate the story to each other and make it up on the spot as time went by.
My experience with writing is that I've maybe wasted way too much time writing posts like this one online. I wrote a few things I would call "wannabessays" in the past. I've had people complimenting me on my writing. I never took it seriously, and I would often delete them after a few months without saving a copy. I remember the last year of high-school, the final exhamination. The last test on the rooster was an essay. I had to chose one subject between three different options using each respective accompanying article as a reference. What I did instead was to choose all three subjects and write a single essay that encompassed all of them. That was either ballsy or reckless. Either way the examiner loved the idea so much that she gave me the highest possible grade. Other than that, I've attempted to write a novel in the past, and I always stopped before page 4. Oh, I've also written lots of poetry.
"Be the ocean I drown in To experience your within Dark and clear blues All your most peculiar hues"
Yeah, that was in English.
Anyway, flash forward to the present day. To my hopelessness, and my barely doing anything with life in general. I recently picked up a book after months not reading a thing: Neuromancer by William Gibson. I just loved it. I read the author's biography and it inspired me. For some reason, I started writing a short story. All of a sudden, I have an entire world built in my head. Next thing I know, I planned about 4-5 short stories to begin writing about this world, and if everything goes well I will maybe write a full novel next.
I'm dumb enough to read about publishing, and of course I find out how hard it is to get published, and how bleak the odds are... well, isn't every art career a hard and grim pursuit? I'm kind of used with not getting any sort of satisfaction already. Writing is doing good to my head either way, and as they say in my country: One should not bandage one's head before breaking it.
But now I'm 30, and I've got the blues.
Should I even bother trying to be a writer?