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LOOKING FOR THE ABSOLUTE BEST, NO NONSENSE, SCIENCE-BASED ARTICLE ON PROPER DIETING?
LEARN THE MOST SPECIALIZED INFORMATION IN YOUR HOME, AT YOUR LEISURE, FOR FREE!
USE MY 2 DECADES OF ACADEMIC STUDY, IN THE TRENCHES EXPERIENCES, AND EMPIRICAL ADVICE WHEN IT COMES TO BOOSTING MUSCLE MASS, INCREASING STAMINA, HEALTH, AND WELLNESS, LOSING FAT, REDUCING OR ELIMINATING TYPE 2 DIABETES, INCREASING LONGEVITY, PROTECTING AND REGENERATING ORGAN TISSUES, AND DECREASING IMMOBILITY, STIFFNESS, ARTHRITIS,WHILE REBUILDING CARTILIGENOUS TISSUE.
Old-Scool Diet 2.O
"A comprehensive article on bodybuilding diet minutiae - and SO MUCH MORE
What follows is my version of an old school (mid-80s to early 90s) bodybuilding fat-loss diet/regimen, with an updated (2020's) dietary supplementation plan. This type of diet was very popular when I was a child and produced results for many who used it. I was reminded of such diets by bodybuilding writers such as John Romano, who wrote about the basic bodybuilding diet in an issue of Muscular Development sometime around 2008.
Although renowned for its simplicity, it can become somewhat monotonous. The key tenets of this type of fat loss diet are 1) being in a slightly negative caloric balance, 2) using a simplified shopping list of 15 or fewer items, and 3) taking in large amounts of protein, a moderately large amount of carbohydrates, and a small/modest amount of dietary fat.
You will consume 3-4 "whole-food" meals per day along with 1-3 protein shakes (more on workout days and less on off days). You should drink at least 1 gallon worth of calorie-free liquids per day.... the closer you get to 1.5 gal and even 2 gal (if you're really big) the better.
The Shopping List
So, you're at the grocery store and you're in and out within 10 minutes. You don't care about the weekly sales (unless they involve one of your "weekly 15" items). Thus, grocery shopping becomes a snap.
As for the items themselves, a basic "old school" bodybuilding diet would likely contain:

1. Eggs
2. Milk (skim or 2% or UF/CFM)
3. Chicken Breast (boneless and skinless)
4. Tuna chunk light, canned
5. Cottage Cheese (2-4%) & red-fat cheese
6. Lean Gr Beef or Sirloin, NY strip, etc Steak
7. Rice
8. Oatmeal
9. Whole wheat (or white) Bread
10. Apples
11. Oranges
12. Pasta
13. Frozen Berries
14. Bananas
15. Broccoli

Of course, you can rotate in other vegetables such as corn on the cob, salad greens, and lettuces (with light balsamic or low-carb vinaigrette dressing if a salad) etc etc.
Eating a variety of wholesome foods that are (by and large) as unprocessed (aside from rice and oatmeal which must be processed as well as some dairy items) as possible typically means you'll be getting a wide spectrum of nutrients, including both macro and micronutrients. A daily multivitamin/mineral tablet can ensure you're filling any gaps in micronutrient needs (vitamins and minerals). As for macronutrients, this diet provides the bulk of its calories as protein and carbohydrate with only about 10% of the daily calorie allotment being reserved for fats.
What is the logic behind the macronutrient breakdown?
You'll be eating about 45-50 percent of your calories as carbohydrates and 40-45 percent as protein with only 10-15% as fat.
Why 45-50% as carbohydrate? Carbohydrate is stored in the liver and muscles as a substance called glycogen. For every gram of glycogen stored within the body, there are 2.7 grams of water attached. This gives the muscles a pumped appearance and feeling. This also means the muscles are well stocked with stored energy. The majority of your weight training sessions will involve anaerobic exercise. This type of exercise utilizes the glycolytic energy pathway to generate ATP or Adenosine Tri Phosphate.
(Note: The amino-acid-based dietary supplement Creatine also supports ATP synthesis by donating Phosphate to ADP).
Having adequate amounts of both calories and carbohydrates helps prevent dietary-induced drops in TSH.... or Thyroid Stimulating Hormone. This, in theory (and empirical practice) keeps one's metabolism humming and prevents one from "drying out." Simply put, you'll get great pumps in the gym thanks to all that stored water (remember 2.7 grams of water is stored per gram of glycogen).
Energy-rich carbohydrates (grains and fruits) differ from fiber-rich vegetables. Not only do energy-rich carbohydrates provide far more calories but the calories they supply raise blood glucose levels markedly and rapidly. These types of carbohydrates are more easily broken down into simple sugars (glucose etc). Simple sugars and carbohydrates such as rice and white bread are termed high-glycemic (they spike serum blood sugar and insulin levels) while whole wheat or rye bread and things like oatmeal and non-starchy vegetables are deemed low-glycemic.
To be completely forthright and technical all carbohydrates and macronutrients provide energy. The phytonutrients, micronutrients, and fiber aside, carbohydrates simply provide a "higher octane" energy (than protein or fat). ATP is regenerated via the glycolytic energy pathway; carbohydrates stoke the glycolytic energy pathway most efficiently. Despite this, carbohydrates are technically unessential.
Fat and in particular protein can both be used to create carbohydrates. And both fat and protein can supply energy. But fat and protein contain essential nutrients the body cannot manufacture. These essential nutrients are essential fatty acids (EFAs) and essential amino acids (EAAs).
What about Protein?
Because you're getting roughly half of your calories from carbohydrates the protein you take in will likely be spared from providing energy - at least that's what we're hoping for. You're going to shoot for 1 gram of protein per pound of body weight. The actual range of values would be between 0.8g/lb to 1.4g/lb (grams of protein per pound).
You're going to want to consume high-quality, complete protein from sources such as meat, poultry, fish, and dairy. If you have 4 meals and a shake and are taking in let's say 225 grams of protein per day that works out to 45 grams per "feeding." To be more realistic we'll simply say take in between 40-50 grams of protein per feeding.
Protein supplies nitrogen and the "building blocks" of skeletal muscle tissue (amino acids). Protein is essential because 8-10 amino acids are considered essential (other amino acids can become essential in certain situations or circumstances, they are called conditionally essential amino acids).
If you're 200 lbs taking in 1.25 grams protein per pound of bodyweight you're consuming 250 grams of protein per day. Protein contains 4 calories per gram. Thus you'd be consuming 1,000 calories of protein. At 45-50% of total daily calories, carbohydrates would comprise app 1.25x worth of calories as compared to protein. Thus, carbohydrates would come to 1,250 calories. Total daily calories would thus far be 2,250.
2,250 divided by 0.9 yields 250 calories, and at 9 calories per gram that would afford us a mere (roughly) 25 grams of fat. I would at least double this figure (not counting supplemental fats). 50 grams of fat adds 450 calories. 450 plus 2,250 yields 2,700 calories total. Thus, your diet breakdown will be closer to 16-20% fat (20% when including supplemental EFAs), 40% protein, and 40-45% carbohydrate).
Note: If need be, you can cut down carbohydrates by a few hundred calories and increase your protein consumption. This would change the dietary breakdown to roughly 40/40/20 (popularized by Barry Sears as the Zone diet).
You'll want to stay on this diet for a week and record how you felt, what you ate, and how well you slept. Every other day weigh yourself after your morning shit, shower and shave. If you maintain your weight the 2,700 calorie mark is your body's "set-point target." To reduce excess weight (fat) reduce your total daily calories by roughly 10-15 percent and exercise 3-5 days per week. Include cardiovascular training in addition to your weight lifting to further speed up your fat loss efforts. You can do LISS (low-intensity steady state) cardio (walking) or you can do HIIT (High-intensity interval training) cardio 2-5 times per week. Personally, I would choose 5 45-minute leisurely walks over other forms of cardio.
What about "fat burners?"
When people say "fat burners" they're referring to thermogenic agents which speed up the body's metabolism by some 5% or so (5-8% for an hour or two). In the 90s both Phentermine and the ECA stack were popular. These catecholamine-based compounds were potent appetite suppressants, particularly phentermine. The ECA stack was/is also a beta-adrenergic agonist. Since then a host of other supposedly "thermogenic" compounds and preparations have come into the limelight. Yerba Mate comes to mind, as do the popular OTC products Xenadrine and Hydroxycut. Even plain old caffeine is sometimes considered a first-rate "fat burner."
The truth is these products barely increase metabolic rate enough to make much of a difference. Most of their worth comes from their appetite-suppressant effects. Now, I'm not saying if you're suddenly prescribed Adderall or start smoking ice you won't lose weight - you will. It's simply that most weight loss, even from strong stimulants, comes from their appetite-suppressant effects.
The only "fat burners" that truly increase fat burning without the need for appetite suppression are L Carnitine and Cardarine. Cardarine is a peroxisome proliferator-activated receptor-delta agonist. Cardarine enhances lipolysis during exercise. Training increases energy availability by promoting catabolism of proteins, and gluconeogenesis, whereas GW501516 enhances specific consumption of fatty acids and reduces glucose utilization. L Carnitine can be beneficial to exercise performance and fat loss; paradoxically it also suppresses T3, or active thyroid hormone.
T3 or Cytomel can be used to markedly increase resting metabolic rate, but "T3 burns through muscle and fat indiscriminately." You can reduce the amount of muscle tissue being burned and attenuate the reductions in "muscle pump" experienced when supplementing with extra T3.
To do so you'll need to drink water like a camel and supplement your diet with beetroot crystals and citrulline malate. You'll also want to utilize Tadalafil or Cialis. Surprisingly, aside from increasing the pump one experiences from lifting weights Cialis also increases fat burning and creates more BAT (Brown adipose Tissue as compared to WAT... white adipose tissue), relatively speaking. BAT is metabolically active and behaves more like muscle in this respect.
To reduce muscle loss while on higher doses of T3 nothing short of AAS (@ least 200-300 mg/wk, if not 400mg + per week) will truly help. SARMS such as RAD-140 may be of some (yet limited) value. To be honest I would avoid T3 supplementation unless also using Testosterone (Enanthate 400mg/wk) or other AAS.
As for fats, their consumption is largely incidental on this diet and comes from the dairy, red meat, poultry, occasional salad, or handful of mixed nuts one might expect to consume if adhering to the aforementioned dietary principles .
This means the amount of saturated fat as compared to MUFAs or PUFAs will be somewhat high. To remedy this one can consume tuna packed in soybean oil as well as by supplementing 3x per day with triple concentrated, enteric-coated, fish oil capsules. These fish oil capsules break down in the small intestine and there are no fishy burps with them thanks to that enteric coating. They are extremely rich in the special fatty acids EPA and DHA, Eicosapentaenoic acid and Docosohexanoic acid.
One might also supplement with an Udo's Omega 3:6:9 blend of daily supplemental oil.
As for specialty fats, one must purchase the next two in supplement form. CLA is conjugated linoleic acid and it helps improve body composition over time by increasing muscle mass and decreasing fat mass. Sesamin has a host of potential health benefits. Together these two designer fats can markedly improve physical aesthetics, health, and overall well-being.
Finally, there is GLA or gamma linoleic acid. Unless you eat a lot of cashews you'll want to get this fatty acid in supplement form as well.
Note: You needn't supplement every specialty fatty acid mentioned to reap benefits from each fatty acid you choose to use.
The GOLDEN RULE of DIETING: CICO
Calories in vs. calories out. It's so simple yet so misunderstood. When you reduce dieting down to its least common denominator it's CICO you're left with. If you aren't gaining or losing weight you're at an established set-point. You're at current equilibrium. It also means you're essentially burning just about every calorie you take in (burning every single calorie to be more precise, it's just the body's ebbs and flows and an equilibrium setpoint is usually somewhat elastic ).
If you begin to regularly consume more calories than your BMTMR allot (and than you burn via daily movement and exercise), you will put on additional body mass (including both fat and skeletal muscle). If you begin to consume less than your BMTMR allot, and/or begin exercising yourself into a negative caloric balance, you will lose weight, typically a combination of fat and muscle (but usually far more fat than muscle, particularly if one lifts weights throughout).
Note: BMTMR = Basal & Total Metabolic Rate
So are all macronutrients equal then? I mean, do all macronutrients convert into ATP at the same efficiency rate?
Technically no they do not. Protein is far less efficient in its conversion to ATP as compared to fat or carbohydrate. Thus, it takes MORE protein to create "x" amount of ATP. Remember, ATP stands for adenosine triphosphate. It is the body's preferred cellular fuel for high-intensity, high-octane activities. In this sense, protein's inefficiency in converting to ATP means a calorie really isn't a calorie after all. (Because) It takes more protein calories to create "x" amount of ATP than if one were creating that same "x" amount of ATP from carbohydrate or fat calories.
Now that that anomaly is out of the way it's best to simply memorize CICO, calories in vs. calories out, irrespective of macronutrient source. This is the most practical, tried and true way to diet scientifically.
So you've established your caloric allotment for metabolic equilibrium and lowered that figure by 10-15%. You've added in 3-4 30-minute LISS cardio sessions per week in addition to 4 weight-lifting workouts. You're beginning to lose weight week in and week out and then your progress slows and eventually stalls. Your body has become accustomed to the lower calories and the extra workload. Unfortunately, aside from supplementing your diet with substances such as Cardarine or Clenbuterol, there is little more you can do outside of dropping calories once more.... (or adding even more cardio).
Over time these successive reductions in calorie allotment lead to a reduction in TSH, or thyroid stimulating hormone. It's the body's way of slowing things down in an effort to maintain homeostasis. To continue improving body composition one mustn't merely lose as much fat as possible, but also must maintain the muscle mass one has - or even build a bit. Now I'll come right out and say it, if you're 6-10 weeks into a strict fat loss diet you're not going to be concerned with building additional muscle unless you're using Testosterone and/or other AAS and PEDs. Even then, if juicing quite a bit, at some point building muscle transitions into preserving muscle. No matter how much you're pinning if you aren't eating enough calories you simply cannot (physiologically) add appreciable lean fat-free body mass.
To boost the body's T3 levels one can supplement directly with T3 (Cytomel) or with pro-active-thyroid T4 (converts to T3 in body; Synthroid). There is supplemental T2 but I advise readers to steer clear of this thyroid analogue. Another way of boosting T3 levels, and a legal, natural way to boot, is by having periodic carbohydrate-rich refeeds and higher calorie days. Have a carbohydrate-rich meal every 3 days if on a lower carbohydrate diet as well as a higher calorie day once every seven to ten days whether on a mixed macronutrient or a lower carbohydrate type diet.
How many meals do you need to eat per day?
While there is potentially some slight advantage to eating several smaller to moderately sized meals spaced evenly throughout the day the science says "when you eat the bulk of your calories makes little to no difference." So if you'd rather have two larger-sized 1,350 calorie meals and then intermittently fast for the rest of your wake-sleep cycle (or "day" whether a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd shifter etc) go ahead. That said, I would personally recommend at least 2-3 whole food-based meals and 1-3 protein shakes per day for best results in the gym. As for weight loss, remember it boils down to CICO: whether you have 10 270-calorie mini-meals or one 2,700-calorie smorgasbord makes practically no difference.
What about enhancing insulin sensitivity and improving glucose metabolism while imparting a nutrient-partitioning effect?
I first learned of the term Glucose Disposal Agent while reading Dan Duchaine's Underground BodyOpus. Dan was recommending an isocaloric diet at one point but I believe he'd moved onto cyclical ketogenic-type dieting by the early to mid-90s - and obviously by the time he wrote Underground BodyOpus. Because catecholamines work better in low (serum) insulin environments and because high levels of insulin in the blood render fat-burning enzymes such as HSL largely inert, it is a good idea to release as little insulin as is necessary/possible. Postprandial serum insulin concentrations share a direct correlation with postprandial (after a meal) blood glucose levels. To help optimize glucose metabolism and loweoptimize postprandial glucose numbers far more efficiently - while also driving nutrient partitioning by enhancing the selective expression of GLUT 4 (on muscle cells and not fat cells), one should consider the use of glucose disposal agents such as Na R ALA and Berberine HCL.
Over time the use of GDAs improves insulin sensitivity markedly, assisting in the significant attenuation of metabolic syndrome. Berberine alone has been shown in some clinical trials to perform as good or better than the popular diabetic medication Metformin. Na R ALA is the most bioavailable form of alpha lipoic acid and you need only 250mg 2-3x/day to reap major benefits. If you use the cheaper form of alpha lipoic acid use 400-700 mg 2-3x/day.
To these two GDAs I would recommend a form of Vanadium, Vanadyl Sulfate. I would also add a form of chromium, either chromium picolinate or chromium polynicotinate. There are scores of various GDA or GDA-like compounds to choose from. For the most bang for your buck start and stick with this 4 part GDA stack before adding additional GDA compounds into the mix.
Note: If you combine the regular use of GDAs with a modified lower or low-carb diet one can literally reverse Type 2 Diabetes, particularly if the disease is in its early onset stage(s).
Maintaining Energy (to train intensely) while on a reduced-calorie diet
When you lift weights getting that all too familiar "pump" feels amazing. Arnold Schwarzenegger once compared it to sexual release - even going so far as to claim the "pump was better than cumming." I would have to disagree with Mr. Schwarzenegger on that, but I will concede that getting a vein-bursting, skin-splitting pump (obviously I'm embellishing: no pump bursts veins or splits the skin) gives one a major short-term motivational boost as well as an endorphin rush. It also feels great and makes one look more muscular and vascular. But getting a great pump while in a major caloric deficit, particularly if one is restricting carbohydrates, becomes difficult to say the least. So how does one boost the body's high-octane "energy" source, ATP, without taking in extra calories?
If you were unaware that ATP can be supplemented directly (orally), now you know. PEAK ATP is a well-known ATP supplement. In addition to supplementing directly with ATP one can also utilize Creatine Monohydrate (or other forms of creatine) to behave as a Phosphate donor. Creatine is stored within the body as creatine phosphate. Creatine phosphate donates its phosphate ring to ADP, or Adenosine Di-Phosphate, creating ATP, or Adenosine Tri-Phosphate. As you know ATP is the body's preferred "high-octane" cellular-energy-medium. Creatine and ATP are both important to high-intensity anaerobic exercise. But what about boosting the glycolytic energy pathway?
The body utilizes glucose and stored glycogen to replenish ATP. When glucose/glycogen is in low supply the body will utilize glycogenic amino acids (in a process called gluconeogenesis) to boost serum glucose concentrations, especially while involved in intense exercise such as weight lifting (bodybuilding). Supplementing (pre-workout) with whey protein isolate and/or EAA/BCAA+Glutamine can help prevent the body from utilizing its muscle tissue as a donor source for gluconeogenically-derived "energy."
Note: Glutamine can increase both hepatic and skeletal muscle glycogen stores (without carbohydrates).
Another thing you can do to enhance fat burning is to increase the proportion of fuel burned as fat during exercise. To achieve this supplement with the PPAR delta agonist Cardarine. Cardarine markedly increases cardiovasculaendurance capacity as well as muscular endurance. You'll be getting a few more reps per set on your higher rep sets and increasing the amount of fat (instead of blood sugar) your body is using while doing so.
Note: Stacking Cardarine with the infamous lipotropic L Carnitine may further enhance each supplement's effects.
Note: I have a separate article written on L Carnitine. See this article to learn everything you would ever want to know about L Carnitine in less than 5 minutes.
What about maintaining the muscle mass you built while in a caloric surplus after you diet your way into a significant negative caloric balance?
The supplement HMB, Beta Hydroxy Methyl Butyrate was over-hyped in the 90s. Everybody was looking for the "next creatine." And HMB showed promise. Then the research trickled in. Initially, HMB appeared to be of little value. Then more and more research poured in. Today we know HMB is most effective as an anticatabolic supplement.
HMB helps ensure the body remains in a positive nitrogen balance, but not by increasing protein synthesis. Rather, HMB reduces the breakdown of muscle mass (protein), and is particularly useful in lower-calorie settings, and/or high-stress situations (including recovery post-surgery and healing from serious burns).
You'll want to use a minimum of 3 grams of HMB per day. Amounts as high as 10 grams or more daily can be costly but are safe (and more effective than lower dosages, which does not necessarily hold true for other dietary supplements).
A second anticatabolic supplement you might consider is Phosphatidylserine or PS. The use of PS is reportedly effective in reducing excessive serum cortisol concentrations. Cortisol, a glucocorticoid, increases protein catabolism. This supplement can be costly to use, however.
Some trainees, gurus and gym pundits firmly believe the conditionally essential amino acid Glutamine is a potent anti-catabolic substance. The research on Glutamine's efficacy for athletes isn't clear; some studies show benefit(s) while others clearly do not.
If you're using appreciable amounts of protein powder (Whey Protein Isolate, Pea Protein Isolate, Caseinate, Milk Protein Isolate) you'll be getting about 4-5 grams of Glutamine (and precursors) per scoop (app 25 grams of protein. Most protein rich whole foods are also rich in Glutamine.
If you're in a caloric surplus (off season mode) then additional Glutamine is essentially a waste of money. Glutamine is best utilized while in the throes of strict dieting, when muscle mass losses are most likely. Glutamine can contribute to the Amino Acid Pool and act as a gluconeogenic donor if need be. Glutamine can also help restock both hepatic and skeletal muscle glycogen stores INDEPENDENTLY of carbohydrates (Glucose). To enhance glycogen replenishment, particularly in the peri-workout period, Glutamine must be taken in very large doses (up to 15-20 grams pre/intra workout & post workout).
Another thing you can do to reduce the loss of muscle mass while dieting is to raise your protein consumption to as high as 1.5 grams per pound of body weight. Of course, you'll have to have a commensurate reduction in calories from carbohydrates and/or fat.
And remember, while dieting to maximize fat-loss your goal isn't to build muscle, but instead to maintain that muscle which you've already built. This means you must take care to avoid overtraining. Not only is overtraining unnecessary at this stage, but it can be extremely damaging to one's physique. You run the risk of injury anytime you step foot in a gym but the probability of injury is geometrically increased if one is overtraining, particularly while on a low-calorie diet. Limit your weekly lifting sessions to no more than 5. Don't go crazy on the volume (# of sets) and stay in the 8-12 rep range most of the time (you can do more or fewer reps but 8-12 is a great rep range for most). You aren't going to be setting any PRs here.
Can you tell us what a sample day of eating might look like?
Let's say you decide on 3 whole-food meals, 2 shakes, and a snack every day. Let's assume your shakes are composed of ultrafiltered skim milk (12 g protein and 8 grams carbohydrate w/ 0g fat per 8oz), 2 scoops whey isolate (40 g protein), a small banana, and 1/2-1 cup frozen strawberries. By themselves, the two protein shakes will supply 130 grams of protein. And remember, at the beginning of this article we said our hypothetical dieter was 200 pounds. Thus your total daily protein goal in grams was 250 grams per day. Hence, you need only consume 120 more grams of protein, divided between 3 whole food meals and your optional snack.
Your total daily calorie and macronutrient allotment breakdown:
Calories: 2,700 Protein: 250 grams, 1,000 Cal Carbohydrate: 310 grams, 1250 Cal Fat: 50 grams, 450 Cal
Note: the caloric/macro breakdown above yields appx 37% protein, 46% carbohydrate, and 17% fat. This differs slightly from the 40/50/10 breakdown we began with but the actual percentages are simply a guide post. If you're more endomorphic you should probably drop the carbohydrates to 37% and raise the fat to make up the difference (or add protein for the same reason). If you're an ectomorph or mesomorph you can handle the 46% carbohydrate level without missing a beat.
Note: Supplemental fats do add additional fat grams (and calories to your daily totals). Thus, your total fat intake will likely be closer to 80 grams per day. You may also take a shot glass or two of extra virgin, cold-pressed organic olive oil 3-5 times per week to increase MUFAs in your diet.
Removing the protein shakes' nutritional values (130 grams protein, 0 grams fat, and roughly 60-120 grams of carbohydrates: one protein shake may be simply protein powder with milk or water and ice) leaves 120 grams of protein, 50 grams of meal-derived fats (excluding supplemental fats) and approximately 190-250 grams of carbohydrates for the remainder of the day. These figures will be spread (evenly or unevenly) over 3 whole-food meals and one snack. This works out to 40 grams of protein, 80 grams of carbohydrates, and about 15-20 grams of fat per meal. Under this scenario, your snack would have to be something like sugar-free jello which has practically no calories whatsoever.
As for how you put together your meals....
Because your list of foods was basic and limited to 15 items you'll have an easy time putting potential menus together. Choose foods from your list and match up their nutritional values to fit the macronutrient and caloric allotment for each of your 3 whole-food meals.
Note: If you need more variety go ahead. The number of different foods you eat has no intrinsic bearing on the results you'll achieve from dieting. I give the 15-item limit to reflect the authenticity of old-school bodybuilding dieting as told by John Romano, the famous bodybuilding author, and for simplicity's sake.
Look up the nutritional value of the various 15 (or more) foods you chose for your diet and write them down on the front page of your diet journal. You're going to want to make use of nutrition labels anytime you deviate from your list of foods. And if you're not accurately eyeing up proper portion sizes you'll want to invest in a food scale. Studies have shown that people who didn't record what they ate often overate far more than what they self-reported they'd eaten. The same goes for people commonly overestimating portion sizes. That's why you're going to record everything you eat and weigh out or measure proper portion sizes.
So how do you know how many calories you should begin the diet with?
There are many useful diet and macro calculators available online. One figure I've come across quite a bit is 15-17 calories per pound of body weight as a good, "average" starting point. For a 200 lb person, this works out to between 3,000 and 3,400 calories per day, which might be a bit high. If consuming even 1.25 grams of protein per pound of body weight that 15-17 cal/lb figure leaves 2,400 "energy" calories to come from carbohydrates and/or fats. Our hypothetical diet above was 2,700 calories with 250 grams of protein for a 200-lb individual.
So the two figures (2,700 cal and 3,000- 3,400 cal are close enough to be compatible and would likely fit any 200 lb hard training individual quite well - but we can't be certain. The only way to do that is to keep a diet journal for a minimum of 7 days where you record every morsel of every foodstuff you consume, each and every day and night. You also tally up your macronutrient totals for each of the seven days. At the end of those seven days, if your weight has remained the same, you have found your homeostatic caloric setpoint.
Add up the total amount of calories consumed over the seven days and then divide the resultant figure by seven. You now have your starting caloric allowance. If you want to gain quality mass you would increase your calories by 10-15%. But, we want to lose fat, so we will cut out starting caloric allowance (homeostatic-setpoint) by 10-15%.
If you simply don't have the discipline to keep a food journal you'll also have trouble keeping track of calories later on in the diet and end up overeating, even if unintentionally. That said, 15-17 cal/lb of body weight is a good average starting range for most lifters.
If you'd like, I'm open for consultations.
Contact me for nutritional, dietary supplementation, and exercise regimen consulting.
Mike Renteria BigMikeRenteria@gmail.com BPVA Summer 2024
Photo: Gunter Schlierkamp, IFBB LEGEND, 2002 GNC SOS CHAMPION (Defeated Reigning Mr Olympia Ronnie Coleman)

Warning this will be a long post, it has everything I've learnt in the past couple of years from hair growth, to styling, to weightloss, to nervous system regulation and more.
I'm in my early 30s, I have 3B hair, tall, two years ago I was obese, prediabetic, I had anxiety problems, now I'm just a tall [seemingly ;) ] effortlessly pretty black girl and I want all my beauties on here to have my beauty secrets.
Let's start from the outside.

Hair

I have PCOS so it affects my hair growth and causes hirsutism, basically male patterened facial hair and male patterned baldness.
Hair Growth: Here is the true secret sauce to hair growth, stimulating your scalp. I do daily scalp massages with a bamboo brush (even the bristles are made of rounded bamboo) very gentle. This is the one I use: Golab Beauty I do short strokes which prevents any tangles. Morning and Night. I then go in with a scalp serum, I use The Oui scalp serum but it costs a pretty penny. In the first yearish I used (The 'Ordinary' Haircare Growth Set Multi-Peptide Serum For Hair Density) which worked wonders and was cost effective. At nights I seal with any scalp oil that has rosemary oil. Sadly Mielle's formula no longer works for me, but As I Am rosemary oil has been working, I also like the Camille Rose Rosemary Oil Strengthening Hair and Scalp Drops. For Washing my hair I suffer from sebaceous dermatitis which causes scaliness. Paradoxically my scalp is so oily which is what triggers the ezcema and develops the dry patches. Reversing my PCOS symptoms fixed this but what also helped was the Nizoral shampoo with 1% Ketoconazole. It's harsh so I do it once to twice a month at most and I always follow up with a moisturizing shampoo, and of course finish with a wash out conditioner & leave in conditioner.
Hair Retention: This is the info we all know about preventing breakage but I'll include just in case. Hair growth happens in the scalp like said before but to retain that growth it's important to wear protective hairstyles (especially while asleep), a silk/satin bonnet or wrap, silk/satin pillowcase, do not let your hair air dry at night. There is debate about this but I've seen hair specialists and scientists say our hair are especially fragile when wet (especially curly/kinky hair). Therefore, we are much more prone to snags and breakage while our hair is wet. So going to bed make sure your hair is dried. If you're air drying your hair during the day try not to touch it too much - as little manipulation as possible. Personally choose to diffuse/blow dry my hair and this has prevented most of the breakage I was previously experiencing. Lastly, moisturize and oil your ends. I won't pretend like I know which order is best or even if it's important but I've found that using hair moisturizediluted leave in conditioner then hair oil works best for me.
Hirsutism/Facial Hair: Spearmint essential oil. I add 1-2 drops of the oil to my moisturizer each time I put on my moisturizer and it helped A LOT with reducing my facial hair. I also drink a lot of spearmint tea. Spearmint specifically has been proven to lower androgen/testosterone levels which is why it helps. I also took supplements which I'll include at the end because they served multiple purposes. Be sure not to add the oil to the entire bottle because that will ruin your moisturizer's formula. Just add the drops in your palm/finger tips and mix in your face cream each time you moisturize your jawline, chin, underneck. Also, do this after moisturizing the upper part of your face without the oil because it's harsh and the scent can be irritating to your eye area.
Body hair: Personally I sugar wax my arms and legs, the hair has grown back so thin now. I make it myself and follow tutorials from abetweene on youtube.
Hair colouHairstyle: This will depend on your face shape and color season. I'm a dark winter colour season and I have a heart face shape. I used the Dressika app to discover my color season before I could afford to get myself professionally assessed and I got the same results. Just me sure to use natural lighting, like by a window. Once you have your colour season you can choose hair colours that work best for you (although natural almost always works best). For my hairstyle I try to choose styles that compliment my heart shaped face. I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with figuring this out.

Skin

Skincare. This was something that took me a while to work on because of my PCOS, age, weight and etc.
Facial Care: The basics includes chemical exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover. I cycle my nightly skincare routine with this in mind and always keep the same morning routine. Mornings look like this (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, vitamin c/peptide serum, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, finish with sunscreen).
My nights I alternate these routines in this order
Night 1 - Chemical Exfoliation (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, glycolic/lactic acid, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 2 - Retinol (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Oil cleanser to help while I use my gua sha, Water based cleanser, eye cream, retinol, moisturizer with a drop or two of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire face, spearmint oil mixed with face cream on the jawline & neck area, castor oil on lashes and brows)
Repeat Night 1 - 3 (sometimes I need more days to recover if my skin is sensitive or acting up, do what works for you personally)
Other things that I've done/used to help: red light therapy (helps with both hair growth, so I use it on my scalp, and with stretch marks so I use it on my face and body), Microcurrent device (helps with collagen production and stretchmarks) - I use the brand NuFace & NuBody, Volufiline (a skin serum I mix with eye cream that helps with hollowness under the eyes, Kigelia Africana Skin Cream (I use the brand Maelys B-Perky which contains this ingredient and helped to tighten my chest area and my loose skin on the area), face yoga and myo fascia face massage, these help with the tautness of my face (basically everything else helps with wrinkles, these exercises and the microcurrent helps and prevents, sagging especially jowls). I follow tutorials I search for from youtube.
Body Care: Similar to facial care body care includes exfoliation, retinol, moisturizerecover
Night 1 - Physical Exfoliation (Dry brush/Body Scrub, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Night 2 - Retinol (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, retinol body wash, retinol body lotion)
Night 3 - MoisturizeRecovery (Jojoba oil to help while I use my gua sha, Hydrating lotion with a few drops of glycerin, rosehip oil as sealant on entire body)
Again, repeat Night 1 - 3 use more days for recovery if needed
Stretch marks/loose skin: Whether due to weight gain, pregnancy, etc. we can't ever truly get rid of loose skin or stretch marks but moisturizing the skin and derma rolling can help with the appearance. Especially derma rolling. Do NOT derma roll while pregnant but you can do so after when you’ve recovered and talk to your doctor (if you've had a c section you have to wait before derma rolling). I used this video as motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChG8aSvEU6A
For the body I never went beyond 1.5mm it worked for my deepest stretch marks. If this is too aggressive 1.0mm still works just as well. Make sure you use 70% alcohol as this is what experts say is better at disinfecting. It has more water, which helps it to dissolve more slowly, penetrate cells, and kill bacteria. The disinfecting power of rubbing alcohol drops at concentrations higher than 80%-85%. Make sure you disinfect the derma roller before and after use, and make sure you disinfect your area of contact before rolling as well. Do not do heavy workouts workout or sweat inducing activities for at least 3 days after and avoid harsh products.
I started derma rolling while working on losing weight (at the beginning of my journey while still obese) and continued a year after losing 130lbs. Derma rolling works by causing micro tears, the skin heals the area and in the process of doing so develops more collagen - leading to thicker skin, lighter stretch marks and tighter skin. Since I did this before losing the weight it helped my skin adapt a lot. I won't pretend like I have 0 loose skin or stretch marks but it's barely visible. Someone has to be intimately close to notice. Obviously genetics, how slowly you lose the weight, diet, and moisturizing the skin helps but my PCOS contributed to low collagen (thin skin) and so the derma rolling really helped.

Weightloss vs Fatloss

Tons of info here but I promise if you read through it helps to know this stuff.
Weightloss comes down to calories in versus calories out. I know that's rudely simpliflied and not that easy, but it truly is the answer to weightloss (which may be fat, water, or muscle). This is why people can eat barely nothing, lose weight but their shape stays the same (basically skinny fat). It's also why fasting or going low carb works so fast (water weight is the first to go).
Fatloss on the other hand is more complicated. This involves our TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure).
TDEE includes: Resting/Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR), Metabolic Equivalent of Task or Exercise activity thermogenesis (EAT), Non-exercise activity thermogenesis (NEAT), Thermic Effect of Food (TEF), and Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT).
BMR (~70% daily energy) the energy taken to exist, so tasks like breathing. Your sex, body composition (muscle to fat ratio), age, and genetics play a role in this EAT (~5% daily energy) the energy taken for exercise weight lifting, swimming, high intensity walks, etc. NEAT (~15% daily energy) the energy taken for non exercise movements like walking, fidgeting, showering, standing, etc TEF (~10% daily energy depending on the macronutrients of your meal) the energy taken to digest, protein has the highest TEF of all the macronutrients, Carbs have a TEF of around 5-10%, while Fats have the lowest TEF, around 0-3%.
Adaptive Thermogenesis (AT) is the changes in energy expenditure (energy used) that occur in response to changes in energy balance. For example when you eat more food than you need, your body may increase energy expenditure to prevent weight gain eg. move more, eat less the next day, etc.. On the other hand, when you eat less food than you need, your body may decrease energy expenditure to conserve energy and prevent weight loss eg. less movement, eat more the next day.
Other things that affect AT include diet composition (eg high/low protein, high/low carb, calorie dense foods, etc), physical activity (eg. weights vs. cardio), and environmental factors such as temperature and altitude.
Things that influence AT can make weight management challenging, as it can lead to plateaus or rebounds in weight loss efforts. This is why lack of sleep, hormonal issues, aging, etc. makes weightloss harder.
Here is a clearer example of this
Things that affect calories in:

• 8-9 Hours of sleep (Maintains metabolic homeostasis, insulin sensitivity, hormonal processes). Compromised sleep lead to:
  • Increased Gherlin (hunger hormone - feeling hungrier & therefor eating more)
  • Decreased Leptin (sensation of satiety - needing to eat more to feel full)
• Insulin resistance: This is when the cells in your muscles, fat, and liver don't respond well to insulin and can't easily take up glucose from your blood. This results in excessive sugar in the blood & as a result the body produces more insulin in order to try to help the cells obtain the energy from glucose. This leads to weight gain as the insulin increases hunger. Also, since the body is insulin resistant, the excess glucose is converted to fat for long-term storage.
  • Things that can cause insulin resistance: PCOS, Inactivity/sedentary lifestyle, family history of diabetes, gestational diabetes, hypertension, alcohol abuse, poor sleep habits, high cholesterol levels, metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular disease, high bodyweight, acromegaly

Things that affect calories out:

• Compromised sleep affects our energy levels which leads to:
  • Decreased NEAT (Non exercise activity thermogenesis)
• Hypothyroidism (lowered levels of T3 and T4)
  • Thyroid hormones T3 and T4 affects every cell and all the organs in your body by regulating the rate at which your body uses calories/energy which is known as our bmr, meaning this affects your metabolic rate.
• Too few calories lowers daily NEAT
  • By eating below your BMI (calories needed to perform basic biological processes), your body makes up for this through energy conservation by lowering your NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis). Basically you lack the energy to perform your normal daily activities. This also affects your body composition and cardio health as you become sedentary (stop moving as much).
• Fat to muscle ratio (as mentioned above)

So to lose fat you need to get enough sleep, increase your daily steps, weight lift, eat high protein (protein takes the most amount of energy to digest), manage your insulin resistence and eat in a caloric deficit (make sure your calories in do not exceed calories out).
To manage your insulin resistance (info from the book Glucose Goddess by Jessie Inchauspé):

• Eat within an hour of waking up
• Protein with breakfast
• Tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before each meal (diluted in a glass of water)
• Eat foods in this order, veggies -> protein -> fat -> starches -> carbs -> sugar
• Never eat sweets/dessert/carbs on an empty stomach (dessert after dinner)
• Keep refined carbs and added sugar at a minimum.
• Minimize alcohol intake
• Try to minimize sodas, fruit juice and sweet drinks (this is because there is no fiber to help with the glucose spike or at least try to have these drinks after eating something fiberous)
• Only eat fruit whole, not transformed eg. eat the orange instead of having the orange juice, again fiber makes a world of a difference
• Put clothing on your carbs. Eg. have protein/fats/fiber with your carbs

To eat in a caloric deficit, calculate your TDEE and subtract 200-500 calories from that number. I like using this calculator. https://tdeecalculator.net
Eg. If it's calculated to be 2000 calories, you subtract 200, so 1800 should be your daily calorie intake. For the activity levels make sure you do not oversell yourself. The image I attached is a general guide. (Image did not attach I’ll add the info manually tomorrow)
As you lose weight your body adapts so after a while you may need to recalculate your TDEE and deficit. Once you are at your ideal weight, you no longer subtract the 200-500, you simply eat the TDEE amount to maintain but you do this gradually. After I lost the weight I came out of the deficit by adding 50 calories to my daily intake per week, till I was at maintenance/my TDEE. This prevented me from gaining fat or water weight.
Lastly muscle mass (increase in muscle raises your metabolic level, meaning you burn more calories at rest). This is ideal and is also how you'll see someone who is short, seemingly small but weigh more than you imagined. Muscle density weighs more than fat. Think of a 50 pound dumbbell versus 50 pounds of feathers, you would need a whole lot of feathers to match the weight. Same difference, you need a larger volume of fat to equal to the same amount of muscle. Therefore, lifting weights is ideal because you will become more toned, burn more calories at rest, be able to eat more even when you've lost the weight to maintain your phisique, you'll be more insulin sensitive, and you will have stronger and higher bone density (really important for women).

Weightlifting for health (and aesthetic)

For a rounder booty (I reshaped my glutes by weightlifting. Hormones can actually affect the shape and my PCOS did a number on me. I developed a V shape over the years. Round, square, heart, A shapes are all based on your bone structure and fat placement. Some of us just have those stubborn fat deposits in certain areas that are genetic, even when we lose the weight, it's a smaller version but the same shape. V shape on the other hand is largely seen in older women post menopause and in younger women with hormonal disorders. This is becuase the hormonal imbalances also causes muscle imbalances. Regulating your hormones helps but it won't grow the muscles for you, so I used Fit With Emely's glute guide based on your glute shape (completely free, I watched all her videos to get this info and it took me two years to go from a V shape to a round shape.
Here is the guideline for each shape:
Glute Maximus - Everyone should be working on glute maximus. It builds the shelf and overall size. Step ups (all variations), hip thrusts (all variations), lunges, rdl, leg press, all squat variations Glute Minimus - (V and Square shapes), this muscle fills in the middle between the top and lower glute. Hip abduction, single leg bridge, Standing hip abduction/cable raises Gute Medius - (Heart, Round, and A-shaped) this muscles builds a longer hip for top portion of the glutes. Eg. Single leg squat, Single leg deadlift, Cable clamshells, Reverse lung, step ups Underbutt - Everyone should be working on underbutt but this is especially useful for V shaped folks. It works the hamstrings and lower portion of glutes. Good mornings, single leg rdl (also works minimus), single leg hip thrust (also works maximus), hip abductors (also works minimus)
How to structure workout:

• Warm up/Dynamic Stretches (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body warm up or upper body warm up, etc.)
• Compound exercises (2-3 exercises eg. single leg rdl, good mornings, leg press - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets). That probably sounds like a foreign language to some, so for instance:
  • Start excercise 1
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 1 - rdl 8 times)
  • Move on to exercise 2
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 2 - leg press 8 times)
  • Move on to exercise 3
  • Set 1 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 2 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
  • 3 minute rest
  • Set 3 (repeat exercise 3 - good mornings 8 times)
• Secondary Workouts (2-3 exercises eg. step ups, bulgarian split squats, lunges - for each exercise you do 3-4 sets, 8-12 reps, with 3-4 minute rest between sets)
• Isolated/Accessory Movements: these exercises work one part of the muscle more than others, for example an overbias on the underbutt/hamstring like I mentioned before to help with the V shape ( eg. hip abductors, kickbacks, glute bridge, lying leg raises, etc. (1-2 exercises high repetitions, low weight 2-3 sets, 15-20 reps, 1-2 minute rest between sets)
• Static stretch/cool down (specific to the muscle group you're working eg. lower body cool down or upper body cool down, etc.)

Keep in mind that you only need to work on a muscle group 2-3 times a week. So I only do glutes Mondays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
My full routine is:

• Monday- lower body
• Tuesday - Pilates/core
• Wednesday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)
• Thursday - lower body
• Friday - Pilates/core
• Saturday - lower body
• Sunday - Rest (I still go for walks on these days)

Also I used primarily resistance bands in the beginning because gym equipment intimidated me (not anymore :) ). I started with 25lb resistance and went up to 125lbs. I use the product BandBar which allowed me to use the resistance bands like a barbell at home. This isn’t the only option and you can definitely buy resistance bands and do it without the bar. BandBar
For the ab separation from being obese, I did this workout 3 times a week (also helpful post pregnancy): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smiGsW-mQX0
For my chest to help with getting perkier boobs (the derma rolling was what made the biggest difference, but this exercise helped as well though it took 6+ months for the changes to be significant. Women tend to take longer to grow chest muscles): https://youtu.be/hg7_R29jGIE?feature=shared
I also did workouts to help with my posture and mobility 3 times a week (any I could find online)
The last thing I will say is be mindful that you may gain weight initially when you start lifting weights. This is due to slight inflammation/water gain from foreign tension, which will last about a month or two before you adapt BUT your body will adapt, I promise. Keep in mind if it's days before your period or if you are on your period. It's not if, but when, our weight fluctuates. As long as you are in a deficit and doing everything right, the number will go down. Do not get discouraged!!!

Style

I think most of us know about Kibbe and colour seasons. This was how I upgraded my wardrobe. I'm a soft dramatic so I wear things that work for my tall height and accentuate my waist.
This was the game changer with colour seasons. Most of us know about our true seasons, but it can get restrictive. Sister seasons and colour dissonance is also helpful to know.
My colour season is dark winter, so my sister seasons would be dark autumn and true winter. Thid gives me more wiggle room to style myself.
Dissonance are colours that are outside your true season and your sister seasons, you sprinke this in to add interest. Think of an outfit that is extremely matchy and cohesive but has that one accessory or item that stands out and adds interest. It's really fun in art and in fashion.
For my shoes I've started wearing dancing heels which help my flat feet lol and look stylish. Heel insoles help too, as well as the product Shoe Gummi. I still can't last more than 2, 3 hours at most but it's definitely bearable compared to before.
Matching pajamas and loungewear. You just feel so luxurious dressing up at home and they can (should) be comfy :)
Accessories:

• I wear glasses that work with my heart shaped face.
• I have a neutral leaning warm undertone so I wear gold jewelry, if I wear pearls or other gem stones I mix in gold to provide more harmony with my skin.
• Perfume, wear what works with your body chemistry. Some smell delictable on people I know and icky on me, and vice versa. Wear what works for you.
• Nails, press ons. So convenient, so cheap.
• Hair accessories, bows, barretes, clips, scrunchies, a ribbon, you could be wearing jeans and a t shirt but a simple hair accessory upgrades the look automatically.

Makeup

I used the youtube channel Dear Peachie to help me with finding eye looks, brows, blush placement for my face shape
I have a low visual weight face and I am a romantic ingenue, because of this I go for more subtle looks that emphasis two facial features maximum at a time (eyes, lips, cheeks).
Don't get me wrong I love glam bold makeup but soft and subtle makes me glow, I turn heads when my makeup is done like this.

Teeth

• Wax free floss (Cocofloss $10 expensive but I love it 😅, Burst black floss, Moon graphite floss, Twice floss, Dr. Jen’s silk floss)
• Oil pulling (coconut oil with clove & tea tree oil, or Guru Nanda oil pulling product)
• Brush teeth
• Tongue scraper (not everyday, couple of times a week and not too hard)
• Alcohol free mouthwash (TheraBreath)

Nervous System Regulation

Stress is one of the things that age us the most, and people with PCOS already have higher levels of cortisol so these are the things I do to manage my stress levels:

• Regulate circadian rhythm, I use a sunrise lamp for this
• Same bedtime everynight
• No loud alarms
• Magnesium biglycinate supplement before bed
• Spend a few minutes breathing through left nostril only
• Epsom salt foot soak
• Journal
• Get back to using my coloring books (I even invested in alcohol based markers it's so fun). Regulates me and gets me in touch with my inner child
• Time with friends, my puppy, and my family

I'll edit this post soon to include my supplements, how I managed my inflammation, how I improved my gut health, and finally personal development/mindset tips but for now, this was the A-Z list of what I did for two years.

Hey all,
Looking for advice, ideas, or just some positive vibes.
My kitty is a 14 year old diabetic. We have successfully managed his diabetes for 3 years ❤️ Since Monday; the following have occurred...
He has not eaten a full meal willingly since Monday morning (5 days ago). He has been force fed when needed.
We have visited the vet twice for physical exam, blood diagnostics, and fluids. Physical exam was normal. Blood diagnostics look normal. He was given fluids due to dehydration. Second time was to receive more fluids in addition to an appetite stimulant. We have monitored his glucose and adjusted his injections accordingly. Additionally, vets said they could perform more diagnostics (XRay, Ultrasound) but it's not currently recommended at this point in time.
He has been offered numerous flavors of chunky wet food, paté wet food, 3 kinds of dry food, 2 kinds of dry treats, and chicken. He will occasionally take a single bite or two of food but will then turn his nose up to everything else available. He seems actively hungry; asking for food and seeming interested initially.
He is acting relatively normal; wide-eyed and attentive. Seems a bit angry with occasional growls when I pick him up, but I would be too if I was in his paws.
Again, just looking for advice, ideas, or just some positive vibes. Especially since the vets aren't entirely sure on what's occuring.
Thank you all for reading and I look forward to reading your thoughts! ❤️🐈❤️

I wrote this memoir over 3 years ago, after weeks of insomnia and nightmares. I wrote in english, my second language, so my wife won't read it, as she doesn't speak or read english at all. I apologize for any grammar or spelling mishaps.
The Molehill
The death of the Kid affected us all. I don’t even remember his name, none of us did. The same happened to the Firestarter and to the Forgotten Girl. I think we chose to forget their names, hoping it will keep us somewhat isolated from the whole thing. It didn’t. We all changed. It split our time at the Molehill into two periods: Before the Kids’ Death and After the Kids’ Death. And some of those who came AKD were affected, changed too. But it did much worse things to us, to me and my classmates. It took me17 years to write it all down, hoping I could put the past to rest.
It all began in late February or early March, 1999, some weeks BKD. We were in sixth grade at the Molehill. The Kid and the Firestarter were in fifth. This was the year of the reform, and the last year I talked to the Forgotten Girl.
The Molehill is our own name for the school. Formally it was “Special School and Educational Center for the Blind and Visually Impaired”. In other words it was a boarding school for any handicapped kid that had any eyesight problem, at least back in 1990s. We’ve got bullies, problem kids, kids that needed more specialized help due to their mental problems and deficiencies, as long as they had any sight problem, so other schools would not have to deal with them. The Molehill had preschool, primary school, high school, and middle school too, after the reform, and AKD. Most of us started at preschool. Me, three of the four Kamils, Raphael Noodle. Not the Kid, nor the Firestarter. And not the Forgotten Girl. She joined us, if one can call it “joining” at the first grade. Lucas the White, Kamil Chive and Susan came at the beginning of the 3^rdgrade. And me? I’m the fatso, the nerd, the weakling. And I can’t recall any of their faces. Especially the Kid. We all did our best to forget him.
I still remember the day it all began, even though I don’t remember the exact date. It was cold as hell, and we all, the three classes and the teachers, were on the road trip to the Majdanek Concentration Camp, which is situated on the outskirts of Lublin, where I was born and raised, and where Molehill is. The Nazis built it back when they had their big tour around the Europe. They used it to imprison and murder mostlyJewish peoplefrom the region, but there were also some Ukrainians, Roma, Belarusians and Russians. Those prisoners worked the camp fields to grow beats, if I remember the tour lecture correctly, and when they couldn’t work anymore, they were murdered in gas chambers or shot, and their bodies burned in crematorium. The ashes were used as fertilizer for the fields.
My grandfather, when he was barely more than teenager, and bakers’ apprentice, often passed by the camp on his round delivering bread, buns and other pastries riding a horse cart. Few times he had thrown loafs of bread to the prisoners over the fence, but one day Nazi guards spotted him doing that and wanted to shoot him dead on the spot. My grandfather pissed himself, when they pointed their guns at him. They didn’t do it only because they had no idea, what to do with a horse and a cart full of bread. After that he never did anything like that again, and changed his route to be as far from the fence, as possible. He told this story to my father, who told me.
It’s hard to comprehend the monstrosity of it all when you’re reading it in history book or watching a show on Discovery Channel. But when you visit such a place, when you see it with your own eyes, it affects you sometimes. And sometimes it doesn’t. For some people it’s still a joke or a fiction. Or a boring road trip to a boring place.
As I mentioned, it was cold as hell, there were three classes, the 5^th, the 6^th, and the 7^th. And few teachers. Classes in Molehill are small, usually less than 10 kids. It takes much more effort to teach kids with poor eyesight, or no sight at all, or those that are also mentally deficient. What a nice term, “mentally deficient”, it can cover so many things, and yet not explain any to outsiders. There was Mathew in our class for a time, he was mentally deficient, he had an IQ of rotten turnip, was very aggressive, and our class teacher, an old bitch who panicked and left the class one time in 2^ndgrade when Duckman sneezed his glass eye out, didn’t know how to handle such “mentally deficient” student, so she taped him to the chair one day. After that he left Molehill for some place better suited for him. There was Michael, he was slow too, but not that slow. He became a gardener for the city. There was also Adrian, who had some neurological problems that caused surgeons to cut into his brain. Our math teacher once had shown us that because of this Adrian can’t walk and count aloud at the same time.
I’m wandering off the topic. I’m sorry. AKD we never talked about it, and even writing this down after so many years is hard. But it needs to be written down, just for the record, if nothing else. And there are so many related memories that I’m uncovering like some archaeologist of my own mind. Long forgotten fossils of some good times, and some bad times. Mostly bad times. You don’t know, how much even tiniest things affected you, until you examine them. For example after Duckman sneezed his glass eye out and our teacher ran out of the class, I decided to never replace my dead eye with glass one.
The Duckman was one of the four Kamils, he was our blind classmate. The other one, KB, was almost as nerdy as I, but he had better looks and better personality. And better sight. KW was in the 7^thgrade, he was dormitory roommate of Chive, Lucas the White, The Kid and The Firestarter. He also was blind. Raphael Noodle was the kid who bullied me, but after the reform, when instead of 7^thgrade we all went to the middle school, he moved to different one, where he snapped and beat up some kid so bad, he ended up in juvie. Lucas did whatever Raphael did, so until Raphael left us, we didn’t talked much. Chive was friends with Lucas, but he did nothing. No one talked to me, except for Duckman. No one wanted to hang out with a blind kid, nor with the almost blind one, so we became friends. And I was always his guide on trips. Susan didn’t like me, but she didn’t dislike me either, as the only girl in the class she was by herself for the most time. I don’t count The Forgotten Girl, because she wasn’t really part of our class, but she and I shared a connection from the summer of 1993, where we both were on the same camp for two weeks. As for Michael and Adrian, everyone avoided them due to their unpredictable natures.
So, again, it was a cold day. Overcast, and it was gently snowing. We drove to the Majdanek area on the bus, then had to walk few hundred meters to reach the concentration camp. Anyone could enter the site, but the guided tour with visits to the barracks, museum and crematorium were paid. Because back then both the school and most of kids’ parents didn’t have much money, we were going to look around only, check the monument, the mausoleum and see the buildings from the outside. Fortunately for us there was a tour in progress, so we joined them and pretended to be the part of the group. This way we were able to visit the crematorium building. First was the room where prisoners under supervision of guards stripped the bodies. The guide explained that if a prisoner was killed after arrival, one of the Nazis removed all jewelry that person had, carefully checking the clothing. Then he checked the mouth for golden teeth or crowns, which he subsequently removed with a pair of pliers. Clothes were washed and packed. After this short lecture we entered the furnace room.
The room was dark and gloomy. I don’t remember much, but the atmosphere of that place. It gave me the creeps, like no other place ever before. Back then I didn’t know, why, but now I’m glad we didn’t go to the other buildings. There was a row of brick ovens, reinforced with iron or steel bars between each one and on the corners. The doors were open, and they still held both ashes and metal stretchers that were used to put bodies inside. There was another furnace, a black metal drum, that was fueled with Diesel fuel. Late addition, if I remember correctly. We spent there only few minutes. I felt relieved once we left the building. That’s when the guide discovered we weren’t part of his tour.
We went to look at the mausoleum. It’s a big bowl under a bigger roof. It holds the ashes and remains of the inmates, these were recovered after the camp was liberated and taken over by the Soviets. While walking toward it, we ate our lunches. I’ve got spam between two pieces of bread, with not enough butter. Each of those, who were staying in dormitories, got a tangerine, pack of biscuits and a carton of juice. I ate my dry spam sandwiches before we reached the mausoleum. Our whole group spread around it, some looked inside at the mound of ashes and bones. I did my best to describe it to the Duckman, but didn’t want to linger there. The place was almost as bad as crematorium.
And that’s when The Dead Kid did, what he did, and Firestarter played his part too. But we didn’t know that, not yet.
Raphael Noodle saw it, and he told the teachers. Completely out of character for him, but I think the atmosphere of the place got to him as bad as to me. Me and Lucas the White were nearest, so we both looked into the bowl. There, on the side of the mound were laying a tangerine peel and foil biscuit wrapper. Raphael pointed at The Dead Kid, and said:
“He threw them in, I saw.”.
One of the teachers looked into the bowl, and simply asked TDK:
“Did you?”
“Yes”, he said. “And so what?”
“We’ll talk back in the school, you and me, and the principal.” She looked around. “We can’t let anyone see this.”
“We can get it out” said Lucas. Quickly we organized into three groups. Lucas, Raphael and Chive were at the bowl. Me, Duckman and KW formed a shield for them. Rest of the kids clustered around us. Lucas was skinny and tall for his age, so he went over the bowl edge, Chive and Raphael held his legs, while he grabbed the peel and the wrapper. He told me later that he had to wipe the ashes against the side of the bowl, because he didn’t want to touch them at all, and he held his breath the whole time. I was expecting Raphael to make a prank by loosening his grip, but he didn’t. Again, out of character. After that we moved away quickly. Someone laughed. Much later Lucas told me, who and why. Chive told him, and he learned it the day he became a hero.
We returned to the school without any further incident, I went home, and we all forgot about this incident. Until March 24^th, 1999. The day The Dead Kid died. Or was it 25^th? It was at night after all, night of the first quarter moon. I learned about the events of that night much later. But there were other things that happened AKD, and I’ll tell this story the way I experienced it.
From that day until Easter school was closed. Chive, KW and Lucas the White were under investigation by the police. The Firestarter was not at school for that week because he got sick when he visited his parents for the weekend. The police provided the school with a counselor to help us deal with the death of the Kid, but I think her purpose was to learn more about the Kid, and to find out if anyone of us knows, who might’ve killed him. But they found nothing. No forensic evidences, no traces on KW, Chive, nor Lucas, not counting the blood and ash, of course. Eventually they wrote it down as suicide. Yeah, suicide with particular cruelty. But that I found out later.
By the end of April we all were acting as if nothing happened. Some of us got psychological help, new counselor replaced the police spy, a PTSD specialist. For few years Lucas and Chive couldn’t sleep. KW fared much better, as he saw nothing, a perk of being blind. But he heard it. He heard it all. No one noticed however that the Firestarter was slowly and quietly going nuts.
That April, May and June we barely did any learning, but the teachers didn’t push us. The teachers who were on call that night at the dormitory wing, went on a leave, some until September, some for over a year, and one forever, she retired from teaching. So there were some substitutes just after Easter in the dorm wing. In early June Firestarter started his first fire, outside the cafeteria. He collected some dry branches and leaves from the school grounds, and made quite a bonfire. Fire department had to put it out, because there were no rains for two weeks, and everything was dry. They even had to spray water on the roof of the cafeteria and on nearby trees. Quite a show for us, kids. No one knew, who started the fire, and why. Even Firestarter didn’t know.
June 25^thwas the end of the school year, it was also the last time I talked to the Forgotten Girl. She had cerebral palsy, and because of that she had limited motor function from her waist down. In short she was on wheelchair. Fortunately for her and her mom she wasn’t mentally deficient. Far from it. I’ll always remember her as that shy, timid girl, who spoke with soft, quiet voice. I remember her long, brown hair, slightly rounded cheeks and narrow, pointy chin. I don’t remember much more, with my sight faces are hard to remember. I recognize people by their voices, body shape, clothing and hair. Things that others can see from far. Forgotten Girl was skinny, despite being confined to the wheelchair. None of my classmates remembers her, because none of them really knew her. We spent a summer camp for blind and visually impaired, in the resort hotel named “Blackbird”. It was a three-sided pyramid of concrete in the mountains. There I learned how to move about with white cane, not my idea. There I spent time talking with the Forgotten Girl. We were too young to have really deep or meaningful conversations, but we shared something. Even at that age we both understood, at some level, that we will never be normal, and will never have normal lives. And we could either do our best, or just stop trying and die of despair. That’s why I learned the art of white cane, even though I never used it since. And that’s why she kept herself in shape later and decided to quit our school after sixth grade. She didn’t return for the middle school, nor for the high school. She was home-schooled anyway, but after that year she asked her mom to find a school where she could be in class, even on a wheelchair.
The graduation of 6^thgrade took place at gym, because it was the year of the reform, and we were going to be the first year that would go to the middle school. For most of us it meant staying right where we were. After the ceremony I sat on the bench in the corridor that joined the school wing with the dormitory wing (where also were the preschool, cafeteria and administration). She rolled up to me on her hand-powered wheelchair. She had a white blouse, dark blue skirt, white tights and black shoes. She also put on her finger-less gloves. She had painted nails. She stopped in front of me and just asked:
“Are you holding on, Paul?”
I knew she didn’t ask about the graduation.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I didn’t know him much. You should ask Chives or Lucas.”
“I don’t care about them. I care about you.”
That was a surprise. I didn’t know she even remembered me. I felt guilty, because I didn’t.
“I’m fine. Really. I just have this absurd thought that he died because of tangerine peel.”
“Tell me” she said, so I told her. Then she told me she was not returning to our school because there was no entrance ramp and no elevator between first and second floor, and she really wanted to be in the class, to have real friends, or at least other people her age around.
“So this is the goodbye” I said.
“Paul, we can keep in touch, you know?”
“Like we did since that summer. It won’t happen, not with my parents. And I’m not very good at keeping in touch. Besides you will be moving to another city. And no one can read my handwriting, even I.”
That’s true. I developed good memory because I was unable to read my own notes. So I memorized them instead. She grabbed my hand in between hers.
“Promise me you won’t forget me.”
“I won’t”, but I did anyway, at least for some time. She released my hand and turned toward the school wing. Her mom was coming, with my dad and Duckmans’ dad too, to help with the wheelchair.
“And Paul?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re right about the tangerine peel. And you should trust your hunches more.” Parents reached us. She rolled down to the exit, turned towards the door, and looked at me.
“Good bye, Paul.”
“Good bye” I said. And that was that. I forgot her almost completely. I even forgot her name. I might ask Duckman, he has good memory for names, but I think I like to remember her as the Forgotten Girl. So those few memories of her that I have be like a dream from long time ago.
Next school year started almost normally. New school books, few new classes, few new classmates. But it was AKD. Some of us were regular visitors at counselors’ office. My mother got into her head that soon I will be blind, so she forced me to take course in Braille reading and writing. Look, Ma’, 22 years later and I’m still going without Braille! I learned it in six months, even reading with my fingertips, and six months later I forgot almost everything. Nothing really happened until November, when Chive became a school hero.
The reform caused Molehill to get more money to buy some specialized equipment, like electric Braille typewriters, book magnifiers (a CRT monitor on a stand with movable table underneath, there were some lights and camera in the monitor base, it could magnify anything on the table twenty or more times), some exercise equipment for kids that needed their motor skills and balance improved, and even a giant wooden table with hidden speakers inside for acoustic stimulation of whole body. That one I tried once, with some low frequency sounds. It was quite pleasant and relaxing experience. Anyway they needed place for that equipment, so they moved some administrative functions around, knocked a wall down and made a room for it in the dorm wing. The walls were covered with white plastic panels with wood grain texture. And my Braille teacher, who also did all the rehab work with the kids, hung some dry mistletoe and other plants on the walls. She got them from her house, just to add some more color and texture to the white walls.
One afternoon in late November, it was after classes, Chive and Firestarter were there, doing their homework, or something. Usually the kids that stayed for the week in dorms did their homework either in their rooms or in classrooms after classes. But that day Chive and Firestarter were in the most expensive room in the entire building. Next day Chive told us, what happened and how he became a hero.
“So he finished his homework first. He pulled out a lighter and started playing with it. I asked him “What the hell are you doing?!”, and he just went to that dry mistletoe and flowers thing that hung on the far wall by the window, and said “Check this out.”, and he just flicked his lighter. Just like that. And it went in flames in a second. Just “whoosh” and half of the wall was in flames. I ran toward it, yelling for help. I pushed him aside, grabbed the whole thing with my left hand and went to the nearest window. Opened it and threw it out. I wasn’t thinking, I just did it. Then Mrs. Aldona burst into the room and asked why I was yelling for help. I just told her that he ignited the mistletoe, and I pointed it with my left hand. I was still holding the window with the right one, you know. And then I saw my hand was burned.” He showed us his burned hand, wrapped in gauze and bandage.
Chive was embarrassed by the whole “hero” thing. He said he did what anyone would do. The room was saved, part of the wall had paneling to be replaced and ceiling painted over, but that\s that. The equipment inside was worth a hundred thousand zlotys, or more. Back then it was a serious amount of money.
That night Chive asked Firestarter about that fire. He was asked by teachers and principal too, but he told them he didn’t know why he did what he did. But he told Chive. He told him that ever since The Kid died he can’t stop thinking about fire and ashes. He told him that he started that fire by the cafeteria, and that he started a fire near his home, burning down someones’ meadow. Lighter helped him, a tiny flame to hold in a hand, but that day he just couldn’t control himself, he wanted that mistletoe burning. He told Chive about the road trip, that when we were moving away form mausoleum, after Lucas got that tangerine peel and wrapper out of the ash mound, The Dead Kid spat into the bowl, and that’s why Firestarter laughed. He also told Chive that he was finished in Molehill, the principal told him so, and called his parents. By the end of the week Firestarter was expelled from school.
Three months later he got into his fathers’ car, with a five-liter canister of gasoline. He locked himself in, poured the gasoline all around and over himself and played with his lighter. Suicide with particular cruelty.
Nothing important happened for some time. Then, in March 2001 Evelyn, the girl who joined us at the beginning of middle school, died from undiagnosed diabetes. One day she just collapsed in cafeteria. She was taken to the Children's’ Hospital in Lublin, but she died there after 3 days. She was buried on Majdanek cemetery. We all went to her funeral. Her death really hit me because I had a crush on her.
The middle school time ended with The Test. In theory better scores on it would open doors to better schools, including elite high schools. In practice the test was too easy, at least from my perspective. And we cheated as soon as the observer from Board of Education left the gym to check on Duckman, who took his tests separate from us, so his mechanical Braille typewriter won’t distract us. Nowadays I think the cheating was stupid, but there was pressure on us to perform, as someone heard from somewhere that the budget for schools in the following years will be based on test results. That turned out to be a lie. So the observer left the gym, one of the teachers stood at the door listening for her return, the other two went between our desks and gave us hints. From time to time someone would ask someone else for an answer. I was asked twice by one of the classmates that joined us at the beginning of middle school, I don’t remember his name. Twice I gave him the right answer. I didn’t need to cheat, but I didn’t mind helping others. Besides, the whole scoring system was pointless, pardon the pun, as elite high schools ignored the test results, and checked the grades instead, some even did their own testing.
Most of us stayed at Molehill anyway. Lucas the White had a chance to go to the high school with “arts” profile. That guy had a talent to paint and draw. Unfortunately he decided to stay with what he knew. Chive stayed too, as did KB and Duckman. Duckman had his troubles by then. He could get to elite high school, but that would probably kill him. I stayed in Molehill too, I was sure I couldn’t do normal high school, and elite one would be even harder. I was lazy too, so sue me. Some of us went to trade school for the blind and visually impaired, on Racing street. We got few new students, Eve the Bitch, Vicky, Marlene of thousand wet dreams, and Stan.
Me and Stan didn’t get along very much, at first. It changed when I snapped. I was the fat one, the nerd, the weakling. But one day, when we watched some movie with substitute teacher, Stan provoked me to a fight I knew I’d loose. Which, of course, I did.
I was sitting at desk in front row, Stan was sitting on top of his behind me. And he was kicking back of my chair with his feet. After few minutes of this I turned my head and said:
“Stop it!”
He did, for five seconds. I turned my head again and just glared as hard as one can, when being near-sighted, and with one eye dead and shrunken in the socket. He just kicked my chair again, this time harder. And I snapped. I just had enough of him, of the school, of my parents, of everything and everyone that pissed me off for the past few years. I just stood up, my chair crashing to the floor, and I attacked him. 5 seconds later I was bent over, Stan holding my right hand, arm bent at my back and substitute yelling at us both. I lost the fight, but for the first time in my life I won respect of the class. Or at least of those who cared about such things.
Few weeks later Stan asked me if I’ll be coming to the school dance. These were organized almost every week on Fridays. I didn’t attend them because I can’t really dance, and no girl would even ask me to one. Especially after Eve the Bitch started telling things about me, that’s what I thought at first. I told that to Stan, but he convinced me that I should come anyway.
I did, and boy, what an evening it was. Turned out there was at least one girl, who didn’t mind my bulk, beige shirt, even my awkwardness in social situations. Her name was Carolyn, she was from the third grade of high school, but her grade was under old system, from before reform, so she was a bit over a year older than me. She was my height, with triangular face, long, dark hair, small breasts and nice butt. After few dances some fast, one or two slow and almost intimate, she asked me to go to her dorm room, while her roommates were dancing with their boyfriends. So we sneaked out from the gym that was the dance hall, past the teacher that was keeping an eye on us, into the dorm wing, two flights of stairs up to the Girls’ Floor and into her room, at the far end of the corridor, by the second staircase that was added, when they did the rehab room. We kept lights off, so no one from the gym would see them. I was nervous, my heart pounding, my hands and forehead sweating like crazy. This was it, my first sexual experience with a female, whose name didn’t end with .jpg. I was ready, I was expecting something special. What I got was 10 seconds of awkward silence. And then Lucas the White started laughing and taunting us from the corridor. I don’t remember, what he said, but it made me really, really angry. I unlocked the door, opened it, saw Lucas and Chive. Chive was at least embarrassed, tugging White’s sleeve and saying:
“Let’s go, Lucas. Don’t be an asshole. Let’s go back.”
I grabbed my left wrist with right hand, and used my forearm like a ram. I hit Lucas\s throat, he shielded it with his hands, but I pushed him back towards the opposite wall. I kept one step away and just let most of my considerable mass push at his hands and throat. For him it was like bench pressing 80 kilograms of angry, horny and fat teenager. Lucas saw something in my eye, and he didn’t like it. He wheezed:
“I’m sorry, Paul. I’m sorry. I can’t breathe. I’m sorry.”
Chive tugged at my sleeve this time.
“Let him go, Paul. I’ll take him away. He’s sorry. Let him go.”
After few more seconds I let him go. I just stepped back, dropping my hands. They left us in a hurry. I went back to the room. I couldn’t see her face, but I heard it in her voice.
“I think you should leave too, Paul.”
“I understand.” And I did, she was afraid of me. “Thank you, Eve, you bitch” I thought.
“I’m sorry” Carolyn said.
I just nodded and left the room. I heard voices from the main staircase. A teacher caught Chive and Lucas, and she was coming up with them. I went to the second staircase. I went down to the Boys’ Floor. I exited there and went towards the main staircase, knowing the teacher won’t be there. I went by the room where the Kid died, and I felt it. Felt it bad. My spine turned into icicle, heart pounded, not with desire or adrenaline, but in pure fear. I reached the staircase, and it subsided. But I knew it won’t leave me. I went down, replaced my school sneakers with boots, got my jacket and I left for home.
That night I barely slept, haunted by nightmares full of blood and gore. It was first of many sleepless nights. As for Carolyn, we never talked about that evening, we never again got together or anything. Neither she, nor Chive or Lucas talked about that evening to anyone. And I avoided school dances and parties until the Half-Way Party, that was in the middle of second high school grade. Because high school was shortened to three grades from four, the half-way point was at the end of first term of second grade, instead of summer between second and third grade. Our class teacher asked us one day, if we want to have a party to celebrate it, and we said “yes”. That night we had The Talk.
I got a bottle of vodka for the party. Not for me, I don’t drink strong alcohols. I wanted to talk to Lucas and Chive, because ever since the Carolyn incident things were awkward between us, and it nagged at me. After two or three hours of the party, after the meal that was prepared for us and anyone we invited from other classes, I grabbed Lucas and Chive, and got them to the corridor that connected school wing with dorm wing. There were the big closets where we kept jackets and boots when in school. I also grabbed a bottle of Fanta from the conference room that was converted to a dinning room for us. I pulled the bottle of “Bitter Gastric” (that’s its name, really) and showed it to them.
“Let’s go somewhere and talk” I said.
“Our room” said Lucas.
“No!” I said sharply. “Anywhere but there.”
They stared at me and then Chive suggested:
“Maybe Mrs. Cobs’ classroom?”
We went to the school wing, onto second floor and toward far end. That classroom was next to the Chemistry/physics classroom, which was always locked. Mrs. Cob taught “Religion”. It might seem weird but here religion is in schools. It’s of course catholic religion and no one bothers to ask students their opinion on the matter. We kept lights off, there was plenty of light from the streetlamps and reflected from the snow. We pulled two chairs to the teachers’ desk and sat around it, I took the teachers’ chair. I placed both bottles on the desk, turned towards Lucas and said:
“I’m sorry for choking you, back then.”
“I deserved it, Paul” he said. “I was an asshole.”
“That you were” I nodded.
Lucas opened the vodka, took a swig and passed it to me. I took one too and passed it to Chive. Lucas opened the soda and drank a bit, then I drank a bit more. Last was Chive, again. He asked:
“Did you and Carolyn… Did you do it?”
“Nope” I sighed, “She was scared of me. Eve the Bitch probably talked with her. She is avoiding me.” I took another swig. Alcohol was starting to get to me.
“So what’s with Eve and you?” asked Chive.
“It was at the end of September, first grade. Duckman was in hospital, after his breakdown, and you were sick too. I was passing between Eve and a desk, and I accidentally rubbed against her. She yelled that I was harassing her sexually, again.”
“Were you?”
“No, Lucas! And I told her that I’d rather harass KB than her. And ever since Eve is pissed at me and tells every girl in school that I’m a perv. That’s why all the girls, even those that never talked with me, are avoiding me.”
We all took a swig of “Bitter Gastric”, and then few swigs of Fanta.
“Well” Lucas said, “Vicky doesn’t think you’re a perv. And on one occasion she told Eve to shut the fuck up. Marlene thinks you are, but that’s because you are staring at her whenever she runs.”
“I can’t not stare at her when she runs. It’s like trying to hold a sneeze. One could get blind trying.”
We all laughed at that. Marlene was tall, athletic girl, a blonde with almost white skin, and the most perfect pair of boobies any of us have ever seen. And she loved to run, which had almost hypnotic effect on every male who could see it. And on few females too.
I had another hunch. This was the moment to ask the big question. They would tell me. I also knew that this was my only chance. I took another swig, for the courage, and asked:
“What happened that night, when the Kid died?”
Lucas looked at me.
“You really wanna know?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“When I left Carolyn, I went to your floor by the second staircase. When I was passing by the door to your room, I suddenly felt so scared, so terrified, I still have nightmares. That’s why. I just need to know.”
Lucas took a big swig. Half of glass worth of vodka. Chive said:
“I saw nothing. I hid my head under the pillow and tried not to hear it either. So it’s Lucas’ tale. He saw it all.”
“You won’t believe me, Paul, but this is the honest truth.”
Chive got up, went toward the back of the classroom, he knelt by the bookcase with cabinets, where Mrs. Cob kept all the heavy, Braille books, maps and other stuff. He pushed his hand between it and the wall. There was small space hidden by the radiator and window sill. He pulled a small backpack from there. And from the backpack he pulled another bottle, this one unmarked.
“Holy water, from home” he said and laughed nervously. “We will need it.”
We all took a swig, emptying my bottle and then Lucas began.
“I don’t know, what woke us. I think it was his wheezing. The room was so cold that for a moment I thought the windows were open. But no. The Kid was just hanging in the air above his bed. Levitating, you know. He was belly down, and something was falling from his mouth. That’s when Kamil dived under the pillow, and KW asked, what’s going on and why it’s so cold. Then I saw a small mound of the stuff on the bed. It was ash. Like those ashes at the camp. Then something threw him against the ceiling. He was stuck there for a few seconds, then flew across the room, and hit the wall above KWs’ bed, legs first. They broke, like twigs. Then we started screaming, and he flew again, this time hitting wall above his bed, face first. Then he hit his bed, still puking ash, but his face was all bloody and messed up. Then he flew toward the closet, but his neck caught on one of the arms of the ceiling lamp, and he fell to the ground with the lamp. Then it all stopped and teachers came in. And we were still screaming.”
We opened the second bottle, turned out that Holy Water means a nice moonshine. Lucas continued.
“Teachers had flashlights, you know, to check on us at night. They saw the Kid on the floor, covered in blood and ash, one of them just fainted, the other looked at us and told us to stop screaming. Someone called for the ambulance and they came in, checked him out, and then the police came and they arrested us.”
“At first they thought that we killed him, but there was no evidence on us. And we told them what happened. KW and Chive only heard it, and that’s what they said. They didn’t believe us. After that they thought it was some kind of disorder that forces you to eat stuff that’s inedible.”
“Pica” I said.
“Yes, that. But we told them he never did anything line that and he hadn’t left the school ever since that road trip to Majdanek. And none of us would give him ash. Why would we? Finally they closed the case.”
“My parents have a friend in police” added Chive. “They asked him about this, when we were released. Few days later he told them that some ash disappeared from the mound at the mausoleum that night. They thought some occult or neonazi nuts did it. But the ash from our room matched the mound. And the Kid was full of it. Stomach, guts, lungs.”
“Your parents told you that?”
“No, Paul. I was eavesdropping on their conversation. That scared me more than that night.”
We drank some more. I felt seriously drunk. And I had another hunch. I told them, and we did it. We took another bottle of Chibes’ family moonshine from the stash, we went to their room, and we burned it down to the bare concrete. I still don’t know how the entire building didn’t caught on fire.Someone noticed the fire and used extinguisher on the door, containing it inside, until fire brigade came and put it out from the outside.No one discovered it was us. We just poured the alcohol all over the floor and furniture, dropped a burning match, locked the door and went back to the party, where we promptly fell asleep by the wall, completely wasted. They had to carry us out, when fire alarm was tripped.
When I visited that room after it was renovated, I felt nothing, absolutely nothing. Even the most epic hangover ever and the wrath of my mother were worth it.I don’t know, why I felt what I felt near that room and at the Majdanek concentration camp. I think, however, that when the Kid died, something of him stayed behind. His pain and suffering was imprinted on the room. And why he died? I believe he was too disrespectful to the dead at the camp. We didn’t want to visit that place, and for most of us it was a boring field trip. And when he did what he did, we were more concerned with not getting caught, than with the respect for the dead. Especially considering how many of them were murdered at that place.
I still have those hunches and really bad dreams. I think I’m just sensitive to this stuff.And there were few more times when I felt something, and sometimes I tried to act. Neither Lucas, Chive, KW, nor any of their roommates felt anything particular in that room. It was just me. And maybe the Forgotten Girlwould have felt something there, too.I think she also had hunches.

DAY: MAY 9 2024

• 5-9-2024DO YOU KNOW YOUR RISKS FOR BREAST CANCER? The reminders are everywhere. When a woman turns 40, doctors say she should begin receiving yearly mammograms to detect breast cancer. You see it on posters, ads and buttons. Doctors beat the drum forcefully and often because the stakes are high. While both women and men can develop breast cancer, the disease occurs far more often in women. Breast cancer remains the second leading cause of cancer death in women, according to the American Cancer Society. About 42,250 women in the United States will die from it this year
• 5-9-2024HERE’S THE ROLE EXERCISE PLAYS, FROM PREVENTION TO TREATMENT Cancer is the second leading cause of death worldwide. In Europe, almost 3 in every 10 adults were diagnosed with a form of cancer in 2022. With the recent revelations that three members of the royal family have cancer, many people may be thinking about their own risk of developing cancer—and wondering if there’s anything they can do to prevent the disease. Cancer is a complex condition, with many factors that may increase a person’s risk. But research shows exercise may actually play an important role
• 5-9-2024HOW TO SPOT FAKE PRODUCTS AND REPORT THEM Counterfeit versions of Botox have been found in multiple states, including California, according to the California Department of Public Health. The health agency is warning consumers and medical providers to be wary of the counterfeit products, which have caused “hospitalizations and other serious reactions in people who received injections in non-medical, unlicensed settings.” “Counterfeit or incorrectly administered Botox, even in small amounts, can result in serious health problems and even death
• 5-9-2024STUDY SHOWS HOW NIGHT SHIFT WORK CAN RAISE RISK OF DIABETES, OBESITY Just a few days on a night shift schedule throws off protein rhythms related to blood glucose regulation, energy metabolism and inflammation, processes that can influence the development of chronic metabolic conditions. The finding, from a study led by scientists at Washington State University and the Pacific Northwest National Laboratory, provides new clues as to why night shift workers are more prone to diabetes, obesity and other metabolic disorders.
• 5-9-2024BABY BORN DEAF CAN HEAR AFTER BREAKTHROUGH GENE THERAPY A baby girl born deaf can hear unaided for the first time, after receiving gene therapy when she was 11 months old at Addenbrooke’s Hospital in Cambridge. Opal Sandy from Oxfordshire is the first patient treated in a global gene therapy trial, which shows “mind-blowing” results.
• 5-9-2024GROWING BODY OF RESEARCH SHOWS IMPORTANCE OF ADDRESSING LONELINESS, SOCIAL ISOLATION Too much time alone can take a toll on the mind—and for older adults, the consequences can be particularly severe. “Individuals who experience isolation have higher levels of negative cardiovascular outcomes, functional limitations, cognitive health, and a 30% increased mortality risk as indicated in certain studies,”
• 5-9-2024AMGEN PLOWS AHEAD WITH COSTLY, HIGHLY TOXIC CANCER DOSING DESPITE FDA CHALLENGE When doctors began using the drug sotorasib in 2021 with high expectations for its innovative approach to attacking lung cancer, retired medical technician Don Crosslin was an early beneficiary. Crosslin started the drug that July. His tumors shrank, then stabilized. But while the drug has helped keep him alive, its side effects have gradually narrowed the confines of his life, said Crosslin, 76, who lives in Ocala, Florida: “My appetite has been minimal. I’m very weak.
• 5-9-2024HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT HELPS TRANSFORM ‘CRAZY IDEA’ INTO A MODEL THAT CAN PREDICT NEUROTRANSMITTERS
• 5-9-2024STUDY SHOWS NOT ALL ULTRA-PROCESSED FOODS ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH In recent years, there’s been increasing hype about the potential health risks associated with so-called “ultra-processed” foods. But new evidence published this week found not all “ultra-processed” foods are linked to poor health. That includes the mass-produced wholegrain bread you buy from the supermarket. While this newly published research and associated editorial are unlikely to end the wrangling about how best to define unhealthy foods and diets
• 5-9-2024KETO DIET BOOSTS LIFESAVING ANTIFUNGAL DRUG IN MICE In the United States fluconazole is commonly used to treat yeast infections and thrush, but in other parts of the world—particularly sub-Saharan Africa—it’s also the only drug available to combat life-threatening fungal infections associated with AIDS. For the roughly 150,000 AIDS patients who come down with a life-threatening infection called fungal meningitis each year, there aren’t many options
• 5-9-2024LOW-COST MRI PAIRED WITH AI PRODUCES HIGH-QUALITY RESULTS First introduced five decades ago, MRI scanners are now a cornerstone of modern medicine, vital for diagnosing strokes, tumors, spinal conditions and more, without exposing patients to radiation. A magnetic resonance imaging device built with off-the-shelf parts and paired with AI matched the performance of high-end MRI machines, according to a study published Thursday that could pave the way for greater access to the life-saving tools.
• 5-9-2024HOW ‘BUCKET LISTS’ HELP CANCER PATIENTS HANDLE LIFE AND DEATH In the 2007 film “The Bucket List,” Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman play two main characters who respond to their terminal cancer diagnoses by rejecting experimental treatment. Instead, they go on a range of energetic, overseas escapades. Since then, the term “bucket list”—a list of experiences or achievements to complete before you “kick the bucket” or die—has become common.
• 5-9-2024UNRAVELING THE LINK BETWEEN THE MICROBIOME AND ESOPHAGEAL CANCER Microbiota changes in esophageal cancer. The microbiota of the distal esophagus was influenced by acid reflux from the stomach. Acid reflux leads to inflammation and mucosal damage, resulting in the change of microbiome in the distal esophagus. This process allows the columnar epithelium to replace the original squamous epithelium of the esophagus, which can then progress to BE and EAC
• 5-9-2024WHAT MAKES A PUBLIC HEALTH CAMPAIGN SUCCESSFUL? The highest performing countries across public health outcomes share many drivers that contribute to their success. In recent years, the EGH program has begun to identify and study positive outliers when it comes to global health programs around the world
• 5-9-2024HUMAN BRAIN MAP CONTAINS NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN DETAILS OF STRUCTURE
• 5-9-2024THROMBECTOMY LINKED TO BETTER OUTCOMES FOR ACUTE STROKE, LARGE INFARCT
• 5-9-2024GI PROCEDURES CAN PRODUCE DANGEROUS LEVELS OF SMOKE
• 5-9-2024UNDER 4-MINUTE MILERS’ LONGEVITY SHOWS THAT EXTREME EXERCISE DOESN’T SEEM TO CURB LIFESPAN
• 5-9-2024STUDY FINDS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEPRESSION SYMPTOMS AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITY LIKELY GOES BOTH WAYS
• 5-9-2024STUDY FINDS ASSOCIATION BETWEEN NEIGHBORHOOD DEPRIVATION AND DNA METHYLATION IN AN AUTOPSY COHORT
• 5-9-2024RECALL NOTICE AFTER MORE THAN 200 INSULIN PUMP USERS INJURED DUE TO APP MALFUNCTION
• 5-9-2024RECALL NOTICE AFTER MORE THAN 200 INSULIN PUMP USERS INJURED DUE TO APP MALFUNCTION
• 5-9-2024THE BEGINNING OF BECOMING A HUMAN—INSIGHTS FROM RESEARCHERS
• 5-9-2024HOW ANTIBODY LEVELS CAN PREDICT WHICH CHILDREN WILL OUTGROW THEIR PEANUT ALLERGY
• 5-9-2024INTEGRATING SOCIAL CARE INTO A SAFETY NET HEALTH SYSTEM
• 5-9-2024SCIENTIST PARTNERS WITH COLLEAGUES AROUND THE GLOBE TO MAKE GENE THERAPIES MORE EFFECTIVE AND WIDELY AVAILABLE
• 5-9-2024DEEP LEARNING-BASED WHOLE-BODY PSMA PET/CT ATTENUATION CORRECTION UTILIZING PIX-2-PIX GAN
• 5-9-2024RESEARCHERS INVESTIGATE THE PRINCIPLES GOVERNING THE BIOLOGY OF EARLY, PRECANCEROUS LESIONS
• 5-9-2024PROVIDING END-OF-LIFE CARE AT HOME HAS ENVIRONMENTAL BENEFITS, SAYS STUDY
• 5-9-2024PATIENTS WITH CHRONIC LUNG DISEASE WHO LIVE FARTHER FROM A HOSPITAL FOUND TO HAVE POORER SURVIVAL RATE
• 5-9-2024‘SMART’ CONTACT LENSES COULD SOMEDAY ENABLE WIRELESS GLAUCOMA DETECTION
• 5-9-2024OLDER VETERANS WITH COGNITIVE DIFFICULTIES COULD MISTAKENLY BE DIAGNOSED WITH ALZHEIMER’S WHEN PTSD IS ROOT CAUSE
• 5-9-2024RESEARCH CALLS FOR TRANSLATION OF AGED CARE ASSESSMENT TOOLS FOR CULTURALLY, LINGUISTICALLY DIVERSE COMMUNITIES
• 5-9-2024DURING PEAK OF COVID-19, SOME LACKED ACCESS TO SAFE WATER AND LAVATORIES
• 5-9-2024SOCIAL NETWORKS PROVIDE CRUCIAL SUPPORT FOR OLDER ADULTS LIVING WITH HIV, STUDY FINDS
• 5-9-2024TRAFFIC INJURIES TO LOW-INCOME NYC RESIDENTS FELL 30% IN FIRST FIVE YEARS OF ROAD SAFETY PROGRAM, STUDY FINDS
• 5-9-2024NEW TOOL STREAMLINES NURSE WORK ENVIRONMENT RESEARCH
• 5-9-2024THE IMPACT OF ESCALATING ENVIRONMENTAL AND SOCIAL CHALLENGES ON OUR BRAINS AND THE PLANET
• 5-9-2024MUSK’S NEURALINK SAYS ISSUE IN BRAIN IMPLANT FIXED
• 5-9-2024STUDY FINDS DISCRIMINATION MAY ACCELERATE AGING
• 5-9-2024BULLYING SIGNIFICANT ISSUE FOR YOUNG PEOPLE IN AFTERMATH OF EYE CANCER, STUDY SHOWS
• 5-9-2024OLDER SINGAPOREANS WHO VOLUNTEER PERCEIVE A BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE, FINDS STUDY
• 5-9-2024SYMPTOM BURDEN PREVALENT IN CHILDHOOD CANCER SURVIVORS
• 5-9-2024ADOPTION STUDY LINKS CHILD BEHAVIOR ISSUES WITH MOTHER’S TRAUMA
• 5-9-2024RESEARCHERS IDENTIFY HIGHLY DRUG-RESISTANT INFECTIONS FROM STEM CELL TREATMENTS IN MEXICO
• 5-9-2024RESEARCH FINDS GENETIC VARIATION THAT COULD LEAD TO INCREASED RISK OF VIRAL INFECTIONS
• 5-9-2024NAVY GROWLER JET NOISE OVER WASHINGTON STATE’S WHIDBEY ISLAND COULD IMPACT 74,000 PEOPLE’S HEALTH
• 5-9-2024PREDICTING AND DETECTING ABUSE IN SUPPORTED LIVING FOR PEOPLE WITH A LEARNING DISABILITY AND AUTISTIC PEOPLE
• 5-9-2024AUSTRALIAN STUDY FINDS LARGE SUPPORT FOR BLOCKING ONLINE ALCOHOL CONTENT
• 5-9-2024COLORECTAL CANCER CASES MORE THAN TRIPLED AMONG TEENS OVER TWO DECADES, DATA SHOW
• 5-9-2024ENDOSCOPIC PROCEDURE BURNS STOMACH LINING TO REDUCE ‘HUNGER HORMONE’ AND LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS
• 5-9-2024RADIOTHERAPY WITH HORMONE THERAPY CAN HELP SOME ADVANCED PROSTATE CANCER PATIENTS AVOID CHEMOTHERAPY
• 5-9-2024REMOVING GUT BACTERIA’S POTENTIAL ‘SAFE HOUSE’ MAY LOWER RISK OF COLORECTAL CANCER SUBTYPE
• 5-9-2024NEW AI TOOL USES A SMALL SET OF INTERPRETABLE VARIABLES TO RAPIDLY ASSESS SELF-HARM RISK
• 5-9-2024A MOTHER’S LOSS LAUNCHES A GLOBAL EFFORT TO FIGHT ANTIBIOTIC RESISTANCE
• 5-9-2024HOSPITALS NO LONGER MUST REPORT COVID DATA TO CDC, SPOTLIGHTING CLUNKY SYSTEM
• 5-9-2024NEW TREATMENT COULD REVERSE HAIR LOSS CAUSED BY AUTOIMMUNE SKIN DISEASE ALOPECIA AREATA
• 5-9-2024NEW DRUG REDUCES VASCULAR LEAK AND ENDOTHELIAL CELL DYSFUNCTION IN MICE WITH SEPSIS
• 5-9-2024GPS-LIKE SYSTEM SHOWS PROMISE AS HIV VACCINE STRATEGY TO ELICIT CRITICAL ANTIBODIES
• 5-9-2024SUPERCHARGING IMMUNE CELLS TO BATTLE BLOOD CANCER: ADVANCES IN CANCER IMMUNOTHERAPY
• 5-9-2024STUDY SHOWS THAT ASTROCYTES INTEGRATE INFORMATION ABOUT PAST EVENTS IN THEIR SOMA
• 5-9-2024OLDER ADULTS WITH AGGRESSIVE BLOOD CANCER ARE RESPONSIVE TO TREATMENT AND SHOW PROLONGED SURVIVAL: STUDY
• 5-9-2024STUDY IDENTIFIES PRIMARY CAUSE OF SENSORY HYPERSENSITIVITY IN A MOUSE MODEL OF AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER
• 5-9-2024CARIBBEAN RESEARCHERS INNOVATE TO PROTECT CANCER PATIENTS FROM COMPOUNDING DISASTERS
• 5-9-2024STUDY INTRODUCES HYPERSPECTRAL DARK-FIELD MICROSCOPY FOR RAPID AND ACCURATE IDENTIFICATION OF CANCEROUS TISSUES
• 5-9-2024STUDY FINDS PATIENTS WITH LIMITED ENGLISH PROFICIENCY HAVE POORER EXPERIENCES WITH VIRTUAL HEALTH CARE
• 5-9-2024AI ADVANCEMENTS MAKE THE LEAP INTO 3D PATHOLOGY POSSIBLE
• 5-9-2024NEW CELLS COULD BE KEY TO TREATING OBESITY
• 5-9-2024SCIENTISTS PINPOINT NEW VACCINE ADJUVANT THAT PROMOTES POTENT ANTI-TUMOR IMMUNITY
• 5-9-2024RESEARCHERS ESTIMATE VACCINES HAVE SAVED 154 MILLION LIVES OVER PAST HALF-CENTURY
• 5-9-2024SCIENTISTS DISCOVER HOW DEADLY SKIN CANCER EVADES THE HUMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM
• 5-9-2024RESEARCHERS INVESTIGATE THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PERCEIVED GLOSSINESS AND PUPILLARY RESPONSES
• 5-9-2024TELEHEALTH GROUP SESSIONS CAN BENEFIT CLINICIAN-PATIENT RELATIONSHIPS
• 5-9-2024ARIZONA’S NOW-REPEALED ABORTION BAN SERVES AS A CAUTIONARY TALE FOR REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH CARE ACROSS THE US
• 5-9-2024ASTRAZENECA’S COVID VACCINE WITHDRAWN—IT WAS A VICTIM OF MISINFORMATION RIGHT TO THE END, RESEARCHER SAYS
• 5-9-2024BRAIN STUDY IDENTIFIES A COST OF CAREGIVING FOR NEW FATHERS
• 5-9-2024SCOPE OF MATERNAL SUBSTANCE USE DISORDER CRISIS IS DRAMATICALLY UNDERESTIMATED, SAYS STUDY
• 5-9-2024STUDY HIGHLIGHTS MATERNITY CARE MODEL’S SUCCESS
• 5-9-2024RESEARCHERS DISCOVER BENEFITS OF ADDING IMMUNE-BOOSTING AGENT TO PERSONALIZED CANCER VACCINE
• 5-9-2024NEW STEM CELL RESEARCH MAY HAVE IMPLICATIONS FOR LIVER TRANSPLANTATION
• 5-9-2024SOME BRAIN TUMORS MAY BE LINKED TO HEAD INJURY, MOUSE STUDY SUGGESTS
• 5-9-2024STUDY DETAILS HOW MAJOR ADVANCES HAVE BEEN IMPLEMENTED IN INTENSIVE DIABETES MANAGEMENT
• 5-9-2024COLLABORATION UNCOVERS AN ENTIRELY NEW COVID-RELATED SYNDROME
• 5-9-2024STUDY REVEALS HOW GENDER AFFECTS LIVER TRANSPLANT SUCCESS IN CANCER PATIENTS
• 5-9-2024HOW ULTRASOUND AND MICROBUBBLES COULD DELIVER IMMUNOTHERAPY TO THE BRAIN
• 5-9-2024BARIATRIC SURGERY TIED TO HIGHER SHORT-TERM RISK FOR VENOUS THROMBOEMBOLISM
• 5-9-2024SIMPLE ‘SWISH-AND-SPIT’ ORAL RINSE COULD PROVIDE EARLY SCREENING FOR GASTRIC CANCER

The global Recurrent Atrial Fibrillation Market is expected to reach USD 25.93 Billion by 2027, according to a new report by Emergen Research. The increasing incidence of recurrent atrial fibrillation is majorly associated with recurrent paroxysmal atrial fibrillation patients, with the occurrence of a family history of AFib, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, overuse of stimulants, alcohol consumption, obesity, thyroid disorders, diabetes, lung disease, severe infections, and stress.
https://www.biospace.com/article/recurrent-atrial-fibrillation-market-size-to-reach-usd-25-93-billion-by-2027-growing-at-a-cagr-of-13-2-percent-industry-trend-advancements-in-device-technology/

Some Key Highlights from the Report

• In January 2019, Abbott announced the acceptance of the TactiCath Touch Force Ablation Catheter by the FDA. Such winning tactics of leading companies in the market for atrial fibrillation products are often adopted by national and local companies.
• The prevalence of AFib ranges between 2.7 million and 6.1 million in the U.S. alone and is estimated to reach 12.1 million by the year 2030, according to the statistics of the Center for Disease Control. Similar incidence rates are observed in other regions as well, indicating potential growth in the target industry.
• Recently, in December 2019, the opening generic version of the blood thinner Eliquis received approval by the U.S. FDA. The drug is anticipated to provide quality treatment alternatives at affordable prices, especially for recurrent AFib patients, by reducing the risk of recurrence.

Key participants-
Johnson & Johnson, Medtronic Plc, Abbott Laboratories, Microport Scientific Corporation, Atricure Inc., Boston Scientific Corporation, St. Jude Medical, Inc., Siemens AG, Koninklijke Philips N.V., AstraZeneca, Boehringer Ingelheim, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Daiichi Sankyo, and GlaxoSmithKline.

Xerostomia, commonly known as dry mouth, is a condition characterized by a lack of saliva production in the mouth. This can be caused by various factors and can lead to discomfort and other oral health issues if left untreated.
Causes: 1. Medications: Many medications, including antihistamines, decongestants, antidepressants, and certain blood pressure medications, can reduce saliva production. 2. Medical Conditions: Conditions such as diabetes, Sjogren’s syndrome, HIV/AIDS, Alzheimer’s disease, and Parkinson’s disease can cause dry mouth. 3. Radiation Therapy: Radiation therapy to the head and neck can damage the salivary glands, leading to reduced saliva production. 4. Chemotherapy: Chemotherapy drugs can affect saliva production, causing temporary or permanent dry mouth. 5. Nerve Damage: Injury to the nerves that control saliva production can result in dry mouth. 6. Dehydration: Not drinking enough fluids can lead to temporary dry mouth. 7. Lifestyle Factors: Smoking or chewing tobacco can contribute to dry mouth.
Symptoms: - Dryness: Feeling parched or thirsty, especially in the mouth. - Sore Throat: Dryness in the throat can lead to irritation and soreness. - Difficulty Swallowing: Reduced saliva can make swallowing difficult. - Hoarseness: Lack of lubrication can affect vocal cords, leading to hoarseness. - Bad Breath: Reduced saliva allows bacteria to thrive, leading to bad breath. - Changes in Taste: Diminished saliva can affect taste perception. - Gum Irritation: Dry mouth can contribute to gum irritation and inflammation.
Treatment: 1. Stay Hydrated: Drink plenty of water throughout the day to keep your mouth moist. 2. Chewing Gum or Lozenges: Sugar-free gum or lozenges can stimulate saliva production. 3. Avoid Irritants: Limit alcohol, caffeine, tobacco, and spicy or salty foods, as they can worsen dry mouth. 4. Use a Humidifier: Adding moisture to the air can help alleviate dry mouth, especially while sleeping. 5. Saliva Substitutes: Over-the-counter saliva substitutes can provide relief by mimicking the lubricating properties of saliva. 6. Medication Adjustment: If dry mouth is caused by medication, your doctor may adjust your dosage or prescribe an alternative medication. 7. Regular Dental Care: Good oral hygiene, including regular brushing and flossing, along with dental check-ups, is essential to prevent oral health issues associated with dry mouth.
If you’re experiencing persistent dry mouth, it’s essential to consult with a healthcare professional to determine the underlying cause and develop an appropriate treatment plan.

Male 22 5'10 150 pounds diagnosed depression anxiety no medications currently USA resident. Hi I really need some advice and I would appreciate anyone who could help, sorry for the TMI and for the long post :)
Summary:
I have always masturbated laying down and tensing my pelvic floor, also with heavy death grip. Now I have a hard time getting/staying hard mastrubating especially while not clenching pelvic floor, and I have low sensitivity in my penis. I have occasional hard flaccid as well. My pelvic floor is extremely tense often especially when I try to mastrubate and it it hard to ever relax it. When I did nofap for a month and tried relaxing my pelvic floor my penis started to get harder easier and feel more senitive but I have only tried it for that month so far. I am concerned about having Venous leak, Prostatitis, or Tense pelvis floor. What medical issue could I likely be having and what should I do about it?
Symptoms:
Since I can remember I literally only masturbated in the same lying down position, while clenching my ass/pelvic floor or even crossing my legs and I always felt tense. I also had heavy death grip and porn/masturbation addiction.
My erections feel weak and softer especially in the head, but my penis still can get fully hard during mastrubation especially when I am close to orgasm or in a crowching/squatting or missionary position, its softest in the laying down on my back position i always used. My penis is desensitized and doesnt feel that great during stroking. It is hard to orgasm/get hard in the first place when not clinching my pelvic/butt area. When i mastrubate too often i start loosing my erection fast, and often am half hard through mastrubating. Ive had these problems to some extent for a long time and cannot remember when they started. As far as I can tell I never have morning wood
I havent had piv sex but so far I have had a hard time getting hard. I didnt really get hard the times I have cuddled/made out, but also I was very nervous. I have gotten mostly hard during a blowjob before, but it did not feel great due to desensitization and and I couldn't finish.
Pelvic floor:
My pelvic floor is extremely and always tense as far as i can tell. i usually feel tense there throught the day like my unconcious default is tense.
When i focus on relaxing it or squating/stretching i can literally feel the warmth/feeling coming back to that area and my penis feel more sensitive and aroused to touch, but it can also be hard to masturbate/stay hard i think because I'm used to only clenching.
Health/lifestyle:
My lifestyle has been very sedentary for years, literally no excercise no stretching, laying around all day besides school/work which i dont go to often. I have depression and my sex drive is generally low. Not on any medication and not diagnosed with any medical issues and Im not overweight
I have not had a specific injury or day i can remember problems starting. But when i was really little i mastrubated a multiple times humping a pillow while pushing my dick downwards towards my feet instead of upwards toward my bellybutton. I remember it being somewhat painful but no specific major pain/injury and i cant remember my dick feeling differently afterwords.
I dont have any pain in my penis/pelvic floor unless I have been exccessivley clinching or death gripping, then I can feel pain or aching but never really on its own during normal activity. My sex drive is generally low. My butt/pelvis floor can also ache sometimes after sitting for long periods of time
Conclusion:
Recently I have tried nofap and doing some stretches/exercises for only a month and I think it helped. I felt like my penis was more sensitive and getting hard easier with less stimulation, and my sex drive was higher. After that month i tried mastrubating gently while relaxing my pelvic floor and it felt a lot better than normal and i stayed relatively hard easier. But it was very hard to not tense my pelvic floor because I'm so used to it, and felt boring/disinteresting without clenching and using death grip. It took a lot longer to orgasm and was hard too, I think because I am so used to tensing during mastrubation. That month was the longest I've done nofap ever and the first time Ive tried relaxing my pelvic floor.
I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions of possible diagnosis/problems i should look into. I have read about Venous leaks (I'm especially worried it could be that), Prostatitis, and Tense pelvic floor and I was wondering if I should be concerned about any of those and which my symptoms would fit into? Is this a serious issue, should I be worried and see a doctor, and if so what sort of doctor? Thank you for any advice :)

Hi I really need some advice and I would appreciate anyone who could help, sorry for the TMI and for the long post :)
Summary:
I have always masturbated laying down and tensing my pelvic floor, also with heavy death grip. Now I have a hard time getting/staying hard mastrubating especially while not clenching pelvic floor, and I have low sensitivity in my penis. I have occasional hard flaccid as well. My pelvic floor is extremely tense often especially when I try to mastrubate and it it hard to ever relax it. When I did nofap for a month and tried relaxing my pelvic floor my penis started to get harder easier and feel more senitive but I have only tried it for that month so far. I am concerned about having Venous leak, Prostatitis, or Tense pelvis floor. What medical issue could I likely be having and what should I do about it?
Symptoms:
Since I can remember I literally only masturbated in the same lying down position, while clenching my ass/pelvic floor or even crossing my legs and I always felt tense. I also had heavy death grip and porn/masturbation addiction.
My erections feel weak and softer especially in the head, but my penis still can get fully hard during mastrubation especially when I am close to orgasm or in a crowching/squatting or missionary position, its softest in the laying down on my back position i always used. My penis is desensitized and doesnt feel that great during stroking. It is hard to orgasm/get hard in the first place when not clinching my pelvic/butt area. When i mastrubate too often i start loosing my erection fast, and often am half hard through mastrubating. Ive had these problems to some extent for a long time and cannot remember when they started. As far as I can tell I never have morning wood
I havent had piv sex but so far I have had a hard time getting hard. I didnt really get hard the times I have cuddled/made out, but also I was very nervous. I have gotten mostly hard during a blowjob before, but it did not feel great due to desensitization and and I couldn't finish.
Pelvic floor:
My pelvic floor is extremely and always tense as far as i can tell. i usually feel tense there throught the day like my unconcious default is tense.
When i focus on relaxing it or squating/stretching i can literally feel the warmth/feeling coming back to that area and my penis feel more sensitive and aroused to touch, but it can also be hard to masturbate/stay hard i think because I'm used to only clenching.
Health/lifestyle:
My lifestyle has been very sedentary for years, literally no excercise no stretching, laying around all day besides school/work which i dont go to often. I have depression and my sex drive is generally low. Not on any medication and not diagnosed with any medical issues and Im not overweight
I have not had a specific injury or day i can remember problems starting. But when i was really little i mastrubated a multiple times humping a pillow while pushing my dick downwards towards my feet instead of upwards toward my bellybutton. I remember it being somewhat painful but no specific major pain/injury and i cant remember my dick feeling differently afterwords.
I dont have any pain in my penis/pelvic floor unless I have been exccessivley clinching or death gripping, then I can feel pain or aching but never really on its own during normal activity. My sex drive is generally low. My butt/pelvis floor can also ache sometimes after sitting for long periods of time
Conclusion:
Recently I have tried nofap and doing some stretches/exercises for only a month and I think it helped. I felt like my penis was more sensitive and getting hard easier with less stimulation, and my sex drive was higher. After that month i tried mastrubating gently while relaxing my pelvic floor and it felt a lot better than normal and i stayed relatively hard easier. But it was very hard to not tense my pelvic floor because I'm so used to it, and felt boring/disinteresting without clenching and using death grip. It took a lot longer to orgasm and was hard too, I think because I am so used to tensing during mastrubation. That month was the longest I've done nofap ever and the first time Ive tried relaxing my pelvic floor.
I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions of possible diagnosis/problems i should look into. I have read about Venous leaks (I'm especially worried it could be that), Prostatitis, and Tense pelvic floor and I was wondering if I should be concerned about any of those and which my symptoms would fit into? Is this a serious issue, should I be worried and see a doctor, and if so what sort of doctor? Thank you for any advice :)

Hi I really need some advice and I would appreciate anyone who could help, sorry for the TMI and for the long post :)
Summary:
I have always masturbated laying down and tensing my pelvic floor, also with heavy death grip. Now I have a hard time getting/staying hard mastrubating especially while not clenching pelvic floor, and I have low sensitivity in my penis. I have occasional hard flaccid as well. My pelvic floor is extremely tense often especially when I try to mastrubate and it it hard to ever relax it. When I did nofap for a month and tried relaxing my pelvic floor my penis started to get harder easier and feel more senitive but I have only tried it for that month so far. I am concerned about having Venous leak, Prostatitis, or Tense pelvis floor. What medical issue could I likely be having and what should I do about it?
Symptoms:
Since I can remember I literally only masturbated in the same lying down position, while clenching my ass/pelvic floor or even crossing my legs and I always felt tense. I also had heavy death grip and porn/masturbation addiction.
My erections feel weak and softer especially in the head, but my penis still can get fully hard during mastrubation especially when I am close to orgasm or in a crowching/squatting or missionary position, its softest in the laying down on my back position i always used. My penis is desensitized and doesnt feel that great during stroking. It is hard to orgasm/get hard in the first place when not clinching my pelvic/butt area. When i mastrubate too often i start loosing my erection fast, and often am half hard through mastrubating. Ive had these problems to some extent for a long time and cannot remember when they started. As far as I can tell I never have morning wood
I havent had piv sex but so far I have had a hard time getting hard. I didnt really get hard the times I have cuddled/made out, but also I was very nervous. I have gotten mostly hard during a blowjob before, but it did not feel great due to desensitization and and I couldn't finish.
Pelvic floor:
My pelvic floor is extremely and always tense as far as i can tell. i usually feel tense there throught the day like my unconcious default is tense.
When i focus on relaxing it or squating/stretching i can literally feel the warmth/feeling coming back to that area and my penis feel more sensitive and aroused to touch, but it can also be hard to masturbate/stay hard i think because I'm used to only clenching.
Health/lifestyle:
My lifestyle has been very sedentary for years, literally no excercise no stretching, laying around all day besides school/work which i dont go to often. I have depression and my sex drive is generally low. Not on any medication and not diagnosed with any medical issues and Im not overweight
I have not had a specific injury or day i can remember problems starting. But when i was really little i mastrubated a multiple times humping a pillow while pushing my dick downwards towards my feet instead of upwards toward my bellybutton. I remember it being somewhat painful but no specific major pain/injury and i cant remember my dick feeling differently afterwords.
I dont have any pain in my penis/pelvic floor unless I have been exccessivley clinching or death gripping, then I can feel pain or aching but never really on its own during normal activity. My sex drive is generally low. My butt/pelvis floor can also ache sometimes after sitting for long periods of time
Conclusion:
Recently I have tried nofap and doing some stretches/exercises for only a month and I think it helped. I felt like my penis was more sensitive and getting hard easier with less stimulation, and my sex drive was higher. After that month i tried mastrubating gently while relaxing my pelvic floor and it felt a lot better than normal and i stayed relatively hard easier. But it was very hard to not tense my pelvic floor because I'm so used to it, and felt boring/disinteresting without clenching and using death grip. It took a lot longer to orgasm and was hard too, I think because I am so used to tensing during mastrubation. That month was the longest I've done nofap ever and the first time Ive tried relaxing my pelvic floor.
I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions of possible diagnosis/problems i should look into. I have read about Venous leaks (I'm especially worried it could be that), Prostatitis, and Tense pelvic floor and I was wondering if I should be concerned about any of those and which my symptoms would fit into? Is this a serious issue, should I be worried and see a doctor, and if so what sort of doctor? Thank you for any advice :)

Hi I really need some advice and I would appreciate anyone who could help, sorry for the TMI and for the long post :)
Summary:
I have always masturbated laying down and tensing my pelvic floor, also with heavy death grip. Now I have a hard time getting/staying hard mastrubating especially while not clenching pelvic floor, and I have low sensitivity in my penis. I have occasional hard flaccid as well. My pelvic floor is extremely tense often especially when I try to mastrubate and it it hard to ever relax it. When I did nofap for a month and tried relaxing my pelvic floor my penis started to get harder easier and feel more senitive but I have only tried it for that month so far. I am concerned about having Venous leak, Prostatitis, or Tense pelvis floor. What medical issue could I likely be having and what should I do about it?
Symptoms:
Since I can remember I literally only masturbated in the same lying down position, while clenching my ass/pelvic floor or even crossing my legs and I always felt tense. I also had heavy death grip and porn/masturbation addiction.
My erections feel weak and softer especially in the head, but my penis still can get fully hard during mastrubation especially when I am close to orgasm or in a crowching/squatting or missionary position, its softest in the laying down on my back position i always used. My penis is desensitized and doesnt feel that great during stroking. It is hard to orgasm/get hard in the first place when not clinching my pelvic/butt area. When i mastrubate too often i start loosing my erection fast, and often am half hard through mastrubating. Ive had these problems to some extent for a long time and cannot remember when they started. As far as I can tell I never have morning wood.
I havent had piv sex but so far I have had a hard time getting hard. I didnt really get hard the times I have cuddled/made out, but also I was very nervous. I have gotten mostly hard during a blowjob before, but it did not feel great due to desensitization and and I couldn't finish.
Pelvic floor:
My pelvic floor is extremely and always tense as far as i can tell. i usually feel tense there throught the day like my unconcious default is tense.
When i focus on relaxing it or squating/stretching i can literally feel the warmth/feeling coming back to that area and my penis feel more sensitive and aroused to touch, but it can also be hard to masturbate/stay hard i think because I'm used to only clenching.
Health/lifestyle:
My lifestyle has been very sedentary for years, literally no excercise no stretching, laying around all day besides school/work which i dont go to often. I have depression and my sex drive is generally low. Not on any medication and not diagnosed with any medical issues and I'm not overweight
I have not had a specific injury or day i can remember problems starting. But when i was really little i mastrubated a multiple times humping a pillow while pushing my dick downwards towards my feet instead of upwards toward my bellybutton. I remember it being somewhat painful but no specific major pain/injury and i cant remember my dick feeling differently afterwords.
I dont have any pain in my penis/pelvic floor unless I have been exccessivley clinching or death gripping, then I can feel pain or aching but never really on its own during normal activity. My sex drive is generally low. My butt/pelvis floor can also ache sometimes after sitting for long periods of time
Conclusion:
Recently I have tried nofap and doing some stretches/exercises for only a month and I think it helped. I felt like my penis was more sensitive and getting hard easier with less stimulation, and my sex drive was higher. After that month i tried mastrubating gently while relaxing my pelvic floor and it felt a lot better than normal and i stayed relatively hard easier. But it was very hard to not tense my pelvic floor because I'm so used to it, and felt boring/disinteresting without clenching and using death grip. It took a lot longer to orgasm and was hard too, I think because I am so used to tensing during mastrubation. That month was the longest I've done nofap ever and the first time Ive tried relaxing my pelvic floor.
I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions of possible diagnosis/problems i should look into. I have read about Venous leaks (I'm especially worried it could be that), Prostatitis, and Tense pelvic floor and I was wondering if I should be concerned about any of those and which my symptoms would fit into? Is this a serious issue, should I be worried and see a doctor, and if so what sort of doctor? Thank you for any advice :)

Hey, I thought I would do a new post and start doing my updates here. If any questions please feel free to ask
5/7- Admitted to NIH, IV placed for all the blood draws and potential medications. EKG done as well. 5/8- MRI with contrast. Put on a diabetic diet to try and give the pancreas a break due to what the Cushings has been causing to the organs. Doing blood tests and night to check cortisol . It requires no stimulation. So, no tv, phone , etc. Also, doing daily urine tests.
5/9- Echocardiogram due to EKG results. Since she’s been having tachycardia. Was able to get a bit of news from yesterday’s MRI results. Found two tumors on pituitary gland.

A recent study from San Francisco suggests that increasing the consumption of vegetables, fruits and grains could help slow the progression of prostate cancer.
This research, involving 2,000 men diagnosed withprostate cancer , reveals thatthose who adopted a primarily plant-based diet saw their risk of disease progression decrease by 47%. This observation is based on the follow-up of these men foran average of 6.5 years after their diagnosis. Participants who favored plant-based foods experienced a significant reduction in the risk of disease progression, compared to those consuming fewer of these foods.
According to Vivian Liu, study coordinator at the University of California, this increased protection was achieved without the need to become a strict vegetarian . Simply consume 8 servings of fruits, vegetables or whole grains daily, while maintaining around 4 servings of meat, eggs or dairy products.
The benefits of this plant-based diet lie in the vitamins and minerals it contains . These nutrients stimulate the immune system, have an anti-inflammatory action and act as a shield against the transformation and multiplication of cancer cells.
On the other hand, foods of animal origin can have harmful effects on health. Indeed, toxic substances generated when cooking meat at high temperatures , such as heterocyclic amines , as well as a compound found in dairy products called IGF1, can promote tumor growth.
Professor François Desgrandchamps, urological surgeon at Saint-Louis Hospital in Paris, sees this study as an additional incentive to encourage his patients to adopt a diet rich in plant foods. He recalls that another recent study also showed the benefits of fruits and vegetables on the sexual and urinary health of men with prostate cancer.
Although diet can play an important role in the fight against prostate cancer, it is essential to emphasize that these studies do not replace medical treatments recommended by doctors. Rather, they complement these treatments by offering a holistic approach to disease management.
Sources
Source: “Plant-Based Diets and Disease Progression in Men With Prostate Cancer” , jamanetwork.com, May 1, 2024.

A recent study from San Francisco suggests that increasing the consumption of vegetables, fruits and grains could help slow the progression of prostate cancer.
This research, involving 2,000 men diagnosed withprostate cancer , reveals thatthose who adopted a primarily plant-based diet saw their risk of disease progression decrease by 47%. This observation is based on the follow-up of these men foran average of 6.5 years after their diagnosis. Participants who favored plant-based foods experienced a significant reduction in the risk of disease progression, compared to those consuming fewer of these foods.
According to Vivian Liu, study coordinator at the University of California, this increased protection was achieved without the need to become a strict vegetarian . Simply consume 8 servings of fruits, vegetables or whole grains daily, while maintaining around 4 servings of meat, eggs or dairy products.
The benefits of this plant-based diet lie in the vitamins and minerals it contains . These nutrients stimulate the immune system, have an anti-inflammatory action and act as a shield against the transformation and multiplication of cancer cells.
On the other hand, foods of animal origin can have harmful effects on health. Indeed, toxic substances generated when cooking meat at high temperatures , such as heterocyclic amines , as well as a compound found in dairy products called IGF1, can promote tumor growth.
Professor François Desgrandchamps, urological surgeon at Saint-Louis Hospital in Paris, sees this study as an additional incentive to encourage his patients to adopt a diet rich in plant foods. He recalls that another recent study also showed the benefits of fruits and vegetables on the sexual and urinary health of men with prostate cancer.
Although diet can play an important role in the fight against prostate cancer, it is essential to emphasize that these studies do not replace medical treatments recommended by doctors. Rather, they complement these treatments by offering a holistic approach to disease management.
Sources
Source: “Plant-Based Diets and Disease Progression in Men With Prostate Cancer” , jamanetwork.com, May 1, 2024.

In a society increasingly dominated by screens and convenience, the sedentary lifestyle has become a pervasive adversary, silently undermining our health and vitality. With decades of experience in the realm of natural health, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of integrating movement into our lives. It’s not merely about combating inactivity; it’s about rekindling our innate connection to wellness and vitality. Let us explore, in greater depth, the multifaceted risks of sedentarism and the path to reclaiming our health.
The Ageing Conundrum: Movement as Medicine
The journey through aging is one marked by many crossroads, and the path we choose can significantly influence our destination. The study from Tokyo provides a compelling narrative: movement, even in the later chapters of life, can be a potent elixir against the encroachment of functional disability. This isn’t just about adding years to our life but injecting life into our years. For the frail among us, the message is particularly poignant. Even modest increases in physical activity can illuminate a path away from the shadows of disability, proving that it’s never too late to transform our health trajectory.
However, the insidious nature of sedentary behavior casts a long shadow over our potential for a vibrant old age. As the study indicates, prolonged periods of inactivity elevate the risk of functional disability, independent of our efforts to remain active. This paradox underscores the importance of an integrated approach to wellness, one that encourages movement throughout the day, not just in designated exercise sessions. It’s a holistic call to action, inviting us to weave activity into the very fabric of our daily routine, turning the mundane into opportunities for movement.
Work’s Double-Edged Sword: Transforming Stress into Strength
The modern workplace often demands much but offers little in the way of physical engagement. The Finnish study sheds light on a troubling trend: adverse work conditions not only fuel stress but shepherd us into sedentary habits that compound our health risks. This toxic brew of mental strain, physical stagnation, and job dissatisfaction creates a perfect storm, eroding our health and pushing us toward clusters of risk behaviors that include inadequate sleep and a lack of physical activity. It’s a stark reminder that our professional environments have a profound impact on our health, often in ways we might not immediately recognize.
The solution lies not in a single action but in a cultural shift towards workplaces that value and promote health. Encouraging breaks for movement, creating spaces for physical engagement, and fostering a culture that values the balance between work and wellness are critical steps forward. By transforming our workplaces into arenas that support physical activity, we can combat the sedentary lifestyle and its myriad risks, turning stress into an opportunity for strength and renewal.
The Youthful Predicament: Charting a Course for Future Health
Adolescence is a pivotal time, laying the groundwork for future health habits. The study from South Korea highlights a concerning synergy between sugar-sweetened beverage consumption, screen time, and short sleep durations, a trio that significantly heightens the risk of obesity among youth. This triad of behaviors forms a feedback loop, each element reinforcing the others in a cycle that can be difficult to break. It’s a clarion call for interventions that address these behaviors not in isolation but as interconnected threads of a larger tapestry.
Creating environments that encourage physical activity, alongside educational initiatives that highlight the benefits of nutritious eating and adequate sleep, can help sever this cycle. Schools, parents, and communities play pivotal roles in modeling and supporting healthy lifestyle choices. By fostering an appreciation for movement, nutrition, and rest from a young age, we can empower our youth to navigate the challenges of a sedentary lifestyle, setting the stage for a lifetime of health and vitality.
The Diabetes Dilemma: A Microcosm of the Sedentary Crisis
Diabetes, particularly Type 2, serves as a stark microcosm of the broader challenges posed by sedentary living. The link between diabetes, erectile dysfunction, and depression underscores the complex interplay between chronic illness, mental health, and lifestyle choices. Sedentary behavior not only contributes to the onset of diabetes but also exacerbates its complications, weaving a web of health challenges that extend beyond the physical realm. It highlights the urgency of addressing inactivity as a key factor in managing and preventing not just diabetes but its associated conditions as well.
The path to mitigating these risks is multifaceted, requiring a holistic approach that encompasses diet, mental health support, and, crucially, physical activity. Movement becomes a critical lever in managing diabetes and its complications, offering a pathway to improved physical and mental health. By adopting a lifestyle that prioritizes regular physical activity, those living with diabetes can navigate the condition with greater resilience, underscoring the universal truth that movement is a cornerstone of health.
Herbal Formula Recommendations
Adaptogenic Blend for Stress and Energy

• **Rhodiola Rosea**: Known for its adaptogenic properties, Rhodiola can help reduce fatigue and improve energy levels, making it easier to engage in physical activity.
  
• **Ashwagandha**: This herb can help manage stress and anxiety, which are often barriers to maintaining an active lifestyle. It also supports overall vitality.
  

Anti-inflammatory and Circulatory Support

• **Turmeric (Curcumin)**: With potent anti-inflammatory properties, turmeric can help reduce joint pain and stiffness that might hinder physical activity.
  
• **Ginger**: Ginger is known to improve circulation and reduce inflammation, supporting musculoskeletal health and overall well-being.
  

Metabolic and Antioxidant Support

• **Green Tea Extract**: Rich in antioxidants, green tea supports metabolic health and can aid in weight management, crucial for individuals with sedentary habits.
  
• **Cinnamon**: This common spice can help regulate blood sugar levels, supporting metabolic balance and reducing the risk of diabetes.
  

Lifestyle Changes
Increase Physical Activity Gradually

• Introduce moderate physical activities that you enjoy, such as walking, cycling, or swimming, aiming for at least 150 minutes per week.
  
• Incorporate movement breaks into your daily routine, especially if you have a desk job. Short, frequent breaks to stand, stretch, or walk can counteract the effects of prolonged sitting.
  

Mind-Body Practices for Stress Management

• Regularly engage in mind-body practices such as yoga, tai chi, or meditation to reduce stress and enhance mental well-being.
  
• These practices not only support stress management but also improve flexibility, balance, and overall physical health.
  

Nutrition and Hydration

• Focus on a nutrient-dense diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats to support energy levels and metabolic health.
  
• Stay hydrated throughout the day, as proper hydration is essential for bodily functions and can also aid in weight management.
  

Sleep Hygiene

• Prioritize good sleep hygiene by maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, creating a restful sleeping environment, and avoiding stimulants before bedtime.
  
• Adequate sleep is crucial for recovery, energy levels, and overall health, making it easier to engage in physical activity.
  

Community Engagement

• Join community groups or activities that encourage physical activity, such as walking clubs, dance classes, or sports teams. Social support can be a powerful motivator.
  
• Volunteering for active roles in community events or projects can also provide opportunities for movement while contributing to your community.
  

Combining these herbal supports with targeted lifestyle changes offers a comprehensive approach to countering the risks associated with a sedentary lifestyle. It’s important to consult with a healthcare provider before starting any new herbal or supplement regimen, especially if you have existing health conditions or are taking medications. Remember, the journey toward improved health is a marathon, not a sprint. Small, consistent changes in both diet and lifestyle, supported by herbal supplementation, can lead to significant improvements in overall well-being.
Conclusion: A Call to Movement
The evidence is clear: a sedentary lifestyle poses significant risks to our health, from the vigor of youth through the grace of older age. Yet, within this challenge lies a profound opportunity — the chance to embrace movement as a fundamental pillar of health. This is not merely about exercise in its traditional sense but about cultivating a lifestyle that celebrates and integrates movement in all its forms.
As we stand at the crossroads of health and lifestyle choices, let us choose the path of activity and vitality. Let us find joy in the simple act of moving, whether through a walk in nature, a dance in the living room, or the choice to take the stairs. In doing so, we do not just move our bodies; we move closer to a life of wellness, vitality, and joy.
Sources:

1. A study on the dose-response associations between physical activity and sedentary time with functional disability in older adults with or without frailty found significant associations between sedentary time and functional disability. [View Article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/38721536)
   
2. Research on the prevalence of erectile dysfunction and depression among male patients with Type II diabetes highlighted the potential impact of a sedentary lifestyle on both physical and mental health. [View Article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/38716372)
   
3. A study among Finnish private-sector service workers examined the association between work-related factors and health behavior clusters, suggesting potential implications for sedentary behavior in the workplace. [View Article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/38713282)
   
4. An investigation in South Korean adolescents found combined effects of sugar-sweetened beverage consumption, screen-based sedentary behavior, and sleep duration on obesity, emphasizing the need to address multiple risk factors. [View Article](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/38712457)
   

Ever since I was a kid I have had these cravings almost every day to pour salt straight from the shaker into my palm and lick it for a snack.
A low intake day would be none to 1-2 of these nickel sized servings. A high intake day would consist of 5-10 of these in a single day.
Female 30 years old 5’4” European descent Living in Ohio Diagnosed with ADHD since first grade Medications - paragard, adderall, buspirone as needed 105-110 lbs, rarely fluctuate outside of 100-120 for the last 10 years
Cook for most meals, eat fast food about 1-2x per week, Low soda intake Non smoker, quit vaping, cigarettes socially on weekends Alcohol - 1-2 days per week, 2-4 drinks a piece
All of my blood work and stats come back normal except low vitamin D
Exercise - moderate daily activity, work a sedentary job but cleaning around the house and my side business keep me active a few days per week
Family history Maternal - prostate cancer, high blood pressure, blood clots, heart problems, benign tumors Paternal - breast cancer, diabetes, heart problems/cholesterol
Water intake is low I am trying to be better but am constantly dehydrated
High stress levels/ anxiety most of the time from putting a lot on my plate with social and financial obligations
Please let me know if I can help with anything else!
I just want to know why I do this and if it’s causing me harm. Any insight would be helpful.

It seems like a no brainer that insurance companies SHOULD cover the versions that are FDA approved for weight loss. How about keeping their own expenses down? If they cover meds for weight loss, they'll save money down the road on heart disease, diabetes, etc. And let's not forget, they DO cover phentermine (weight loss stimulant). So they've already admitted weight loss should be covered if they cover a med soley used and indicated for weight loss. Rant finished.
Has anyone heard of anything coming down the pipe or rumors that insurances will start to cover semiglutide anytime soon for those who are obese or prediabetic? Is there something we can do to push?
I'm paying out of pocket for semiglutide right now, but can only do this for a few months.