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Hi gang. 34 here, beingtreated for a sort of RA with Mtx, Plaquenil and Enbrel. Since I want to have a child, I've stopped Mtx about a month ago and it seems that since then, I've started feeling overwhelmingly tired... Since I usually have some sort of medication cocktail, I never really know what treats what exactly. Do you think stopping mtx can cause that fatigue? Have any of you had this happen to you? To all my thristis ladies, how do you handle the medication free period? Thank you and stay strong y'all!

Xasthur Intro 1 First 11 seconds guitar tabs download as PDF and MIDI on: https://paidtabs.com/search/39V6xSn0ie8
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Hello everyone,
Before I begin, I wanted to apologize in advance for my English, as it is not my first language.
I (22F) am in a 15-month relationship with my fiance (23M) (he proposed this January). We love each other dearly but I sometimes am afraid of where our relationship is going because I am not 100% sure he is the right person for me. He treats me like a queen, spends all his money on me (at cost of his own comfort) , regularly gives me expensive gifts, showers me with compliments, attention and love every day and I love him for that truly but there are a few things that just sit at the back of my mind and keep bothering me.
I come from a good and well-off family and I grew up very spoiled and loved. Him, on the other hand, practically grew up on his own, unloved and uncared for, his mother already has two divorces and if talking about finances, his family is not as well-off as mine. The difference shows in our houses, cars, clothes and past experiences (for example, I travelled all around the world as a child and he only visited 3 foreign countries in his life). Although we both are considered upper middle class in our country as our standard of living is significantly above the average. There is a lot of trauma in him because he was abandoned by both his biological father and step-father who he grew up with. I don't have any family related traumas and it is often hard for me to relate and support him in times of need (although I do it anyway, I just feel very drained afterwards).
Our interests and mentality are also quite different. I love reading books, playing different musical instruments, learning foreign languages and his interests are completely different. He is more into sports, is good at physical labour (he is the only male in his household and is used to fixing things around the house), driving and etc. It's kind of hard to explain but basically I am more into intellectually stimulating kinds of activities and he is very practical and grounded. I really dislike always being the one to entertain him with different interesting tales and stories or sharing what's on the news. I am a great listener and I love learning new things from people but I sometimes find myself to not be as amused or impressed by what my fiance has to tell me as opposed to, for example, some of my male friends and colleagues. That being said, I do not find him stupid in the slightest. He is actually very smart and has graduated with honors, like I did, it's just that many of our interests don't align.
Then, after we graduated, I landed a position in an extremely prestigious international firm. He started working at a very promising government job with a great career potential. I was very proud of him and him working in that sphere made me respect him a lot. But our relationship had to go long-distance because his job required him to move to a different city. Around that time I made up my mind that I will say yes to his proposal (he started planning it very early on), we introduced each other to our families and started planning our future. A few months later, he decided to quit his job primarily because it was very hard for him to do long-distance and he couldn't bear not seeing me every day. I tried changing his mind but failed to do so. Now he is working a different job which I honestly absolutely despise. I will not go into details as it is a little bit hard to explain but now he basically plays video games for a living. His new job actually pays much better than his previous one and he does earn more than me but the prestige isn't there and I don't even know how to tell my parents or friends about what he does. Especially when I myself I work in a very regarded company, do I just tell everyone that my soon-to-be-husband is a gamer? I really do not mean to sound condescending but it is seriously eating me up inside. Such a stark difference in our jobs just further highlights the difference in our interested that I mentioned earlier.
Our ambitions and vision of the future are also not the same. He says he will be the happiest man in the world when we become a family, when we have kids and he is happy every day simply because we're together and that financial success or money doesn't define happiness for him at all. And although I'm okay with temporary financial struggles, I want him to always strive for success and not want to settle for less... But I also don't want him to burn himself out doing something that he hates. So I just feel conflicted and it is also the reason as of why I didn't push or make him stay at his previous job although I really wanted him to.
There are other issues in our relationship such as extreme jealousy and control from his side and him being very obsessive and possessive about me. He also wants to see me every day and be in touch 24/7 which sometimes get exhausting. Once when I tried breaking up with him, he said that he doesn't want to live a life without me and even threatened to k*ll himself. Admittedly, I too am not a saint and I know I can be manipulative, jealous and overly demanding at times. So our relationship can be super toxic sometimes. What is interesting is that he was never like this in his previous relationships. Also, himm being this invested in us and losing his "former self" because of our relationship made his mother and sisters dislike me pretty badly.
But the good aspects overweigh the bad ones most of the time and they make it hard for me to leave him and end this relationship. He showed me what a man in love is capable of, he gives me the most amazing princess treatment ever, is a real gentleman, supports me in every way that he can, pays for everything, sends flowers almost weekly, even when he has no money himself, he just sells his things and eats fast food just so he can keep affording to buy gifts for me and keep taking me to expensive restaurants. Our sex life is also fantastic, he is an incredible and attentive lover and is also super horny for me which I love. Sometimes when we're together for the whole day, we can go up to 8 rounds and how he makes me feel is heaven. So no complaints here. He is also tall and handsome and is very much my type physically.
All in all, I love him very much and I understand that in many ways I am very lucky to have an amazing and loving man like him. I appreciate everything that he does for our relationship. I feel very much loved and desired when I'm with him. But I am afraid that issues that I described make us fundamentally incompatible and can be classified as deal-breakers... I know that if we break up, my heart will be broken and I don't want to lose him. But I am also very afraid to choose a wrong partner for life.
This whole text probably turned out super incohesive and messy but I just wanted to get everything off my chest and possibly get an opinion from outside. What do you think? Are my feelings valid or are my expectations too high?

Making these expansions free was... very disappointing, to be honest. Prismatic is even worse, since it seems terribly unfair to all the other classes. I won't be buying Final Shape anytime soon and I don't know how Crucible will look in the next few weeks/months. I mean, dude, I paid for Shadowkeep and Beyond Light a few months ago and now they're free??? And now the new DLC buyers will just be able to dunk on everyone else? Not cool, Bungie. To make it worse, my Witch Queen expansion was removed from my account this morning. It just doesn't show up as bought anymore, even though I BOUGHT the Manticore from Lost Lights a few weeks ago.

I'm excited to share a new free open source platform with this community! Huly.io is an all-in-one project management solution for teams, with integrated task tracking, messaging, virtual office and collaborative document editing and file drive -- everything you need to manage workflows all in one place. Of course I'm naturally biased because I'm on the team, but I've been using Huly for my own personal projects for several months and can't recommend it enough!
Because the platform is relatively new there are constantly new features being added and the team is super responsive in their Slack community. As part of the team I'm also working on creating documentation and tutorials on YouTube, so even more resources will be available in the future to help users get the most out of the platform.
Huly launched on Product Hunt today (https://www.producthunt.com/posts/huly-io) -- feel free to add an upvote if you like the product! I'm happy to hear your feedback as well! :)

As you all know, it was so difficult to get eras tour tickets. I want to share my experience with viagogo. I´ve always bought tickets with them, because its really hard to get them. I bought several times before (Coldplay, Beyoncé, and Harry Styles). So basically i´m very familiar with the site. But this time for taylor swift, i informed myself more and it really gave me stress.
I bought the ticket when they started selling for the second date in Madrid. According to the listing, there was vip access, lounge, food, and the ticket. So i accepted it because i thought it might be a vip box or suite, it cost me about 800 euros. From that day, i started asking for information, about everything, about the seats, or if its real that they would give me free food, etc. NO response. I kept asking viagogo to ask for the info from the seller. And i got no reply. I kept doing this for the next 2 months almost every week. No reply from the seller. So ok, i tried to remain calm.
1 week before the concert, we knew that tickets have already been released and yet i havent received any transfer. So i kept asking viagogo about it. They assured me i will get tickets on time.. fast forward, 3 days before the concert, they kept on telling me the seller had until May 26th to transfer me the ticket, no tickets received, i called (Was not free btw), i chatted with them, sent email, and nothing. They told me that i will be eligible for refund or ticket change after may 26. But no. May 27th morning, i still havent got a ticket. i called again (my phone bill by this time is about 50 euros already). they promised me a ticket, and they sent me a screenshot of the ticket which was against ticketmaster rules btw, they said that because TM deactivated transfers of vip tickets then they allow screen shots. Its crazy because according to TM it wont be allowed. so i was so stressed. i bought a cheaper ticket because i was so afraid. Prices dropped 2 days before. The new seller transferred me the ticket right away so i know i will get it.
So basically i was a holder of 2 tickets. Anyways, i saw in my original ticket that it was VIP 6, so i searched for it and it says it comes with merch. i chatted with viagogo again to ask for the info from the seller if they set me the merch, and according to viagogo they did on the address i provided. So good, (btw i got the merch on June 4th). At least it arrived.
Going back to the concert on May 29th. I went to the stadium. I had no problem with the original ticket, they accepted the screen shot, they didnt ask for any IDs. Everything went perfectly fine. After the concert i complained to viagogo that the listing was not accurate. No vip lounge, no food. It was a mislist, they send me a voucher worth 200 euros to be used until next year.
My concert experience was amazing. But i hope not to deal with a similar seller in the future. No communications, no replies, not communicative at all. I never had problems with viagogo. Its just this time it was harder to get information from the seller which was a badluck. Next time i need to be more patient too. And try not to get tickets from resell.

Half-Life Alyx started crashing very often and without any errors. My hardware is more than capable of running it (4060 with 24gb in it etc) and the game was fine for 3 months straight and only started crashing this week. This is the only VR (along with other non-VR) game that crashes on me regularly and even restarted my PC twice already. Not a single gaming session is finished by me.
Any ideas on what it might be? I've updated all my drivers, clean my registry, checked for viruses and am freeing RAM frequently through MSI Center.

Half-Life Alyx started crashing very often and without any errors. My hardware is more than capable of running it (4060 with 24gb in it etc) and the game was fine for 3 months straight and only started crashing this week. This is the only VR (along with other non-VR) game that crashes on me regularly and even restarted my PC twice already. Not a single gaming session is finished by me.
Any ideas on what it might be? I've updated all my drivers, clean my registry, checked for viruses and am freeing RAM frequently through MSI Center.

I had a one on one with my supervisor yesterday, I was out sick after having almost a week off. The week off was not an enjoyable week and by time I got back to the office I was sick. This is the second time this has happened. My personal life is stressful. More so than it has ever been. I’m dating a homeless guy who has been living in my car for 6 months. I live with my grandparents who are around 80, they both raised me, they’re both sort of failing in one way or another - dementia, bipolaadd. My family hates me for dating a homeless guy.
I regret breaking up with my ex. I wonder if my life would be this way if I would have just stayed with him. He pleaded me to reconsider months after…
I am a victim of childhood trauma. I am a dismissive avoidant. I don’t talk about my feelings too often to others but you can read it on my face usually and in my demeanor. I am unhappy. I am overweight. Overstressed. Overworked in my personal life. In my professional - underworked. I crave more. I want so much more but also feel undeserving and where do I find the time - all my time is monopolized by these people who walk all over me.
My supervisor told me after a few comments I made was that I need to start carving out more time for me. No shit. I can’t even leave my house without my bf knowing or needing to know. My grandmother knowing or needing to know. Freedom is before people wake up. In the morning I wake up early to have free time from both the boyfriend and grandmother. Work is free time from the boyfriend and grandmother. Free time at any other point of the day or night - makes me feel guilty, is like frowned upon.
My romantic relationship has been toxic. We lived together - I was miserable. The place was a mess because of him, his sister, and the two dogs they brought, as well as the financial abuse I suffered and tbh at the time probably didn’t realize, the emotional abuse. Today, I’m realizing that the same emotional abuse I endured while being raised by my grandmother is the same I accept by my partner. There are so many correlations yet I choose to keep on accepting the relationship. The same highs and lows I’ve accepted from my mother figure my entire life are now a staple in my romantic relationship - who do I thank for this? The same person I support day after day? The woman who ultimately abandoned me - the drug addict biological mother? Or was it always my grandmothers fault?
Anyway… it’s hard to put my wants first. It’s hard to be honest about my feelings. It’s so crazy it’s like I’m willingly drinking poison. This disconnect, I hate it. This lack of confidence I’ve had my entire life. This loss of identity. I hate my family for it.
My aunt says to me, “I think you’re making this harder than it has to be,” the breakup thing. The guy sleeps in my car, kicking him out, how hard can that be? His parents both dead (one of them who died when we just begun dating) and I’ve been this rock he attached to, how hard can it be? Right… yeah sure, there’s no actual love there I just hate him and it’s not like I’ve been conditioned to accept neglect or be confused about what love actually is because my parental figure was hot and cold… right, easy. My aunt tells me - I was in an abusive relationship and so was your other aunt, we got out. Wonderful I am so proud of them; for them.
I don’t get it. I understand we all have experiences with it here or are going through it but like - we aren’t all the same right? Similar family situations?
I have a therapist. What prompted this post was my grandmother went off on me last night. Sometimes she lets my bf sleep in the house on his days off from work. He works nights and has 3 evenings off, she’s said he can sleep over on his evenings off… but only after her and I have hung out, which means at 11pm at night. Which isn’t fair. I wake up at 4:30am, get to sleep around 11-12 at night, not by choice. When I get home I help my grandmother with chores and then by 8 or 9 she wants to watch something in my room. Sometimes I can’t even showeget dressed in my room (they’re connected and the bathroom is tiny and hot) because she doesn’t want to leave. My privacy is scarce. Last night at 11pm I said I was tired, there was 45 minutes left of a movie and she went off. Then sent me this huge text about my relationship with my boyfriend and how therapist isn’t helping me - what’s my problem. Why aren’t I fixed and moving on from my boyfriend. He couldn’t spend the night, which offered some relief but I felt bad because he was hoping for it.
They’re both awful. I wish I was “fixed”, I wish I was healthy.

As the title states, I’m mortified that transitioning won’t help. On top of that, my parents, have me scared to transition in the first place and my therapist makes me hesitant too. I’ve been wanting to for years now, but I’m unsure where to start and how to start. I met an endocrinologist earlier this year and my parents came along so we could all ask questions and voice our concerns.
So my mom has been really supportive of me after the initial shock of me coming out. I will admit at first she thought that she was losing her child and my dad told her to stop and take a step back. She has since gotten over that feeling and realized I’m still me. She’s also been really understanding whenever I’m feeling really dysphoric. She just feels bad that she doesn’t know how to help me feel better.
My dad on the other hand has been… let’s say challenging. It’s not that he’s unsupportive or understanding, but it’s not like he is supportive or understanding either. For example, I have a habit of being a bit more “feminine” in his mind because I enjoy having long hair and painting my nails occasionally. I’ll admit that I enjoy wearing skirts and dresses, but that’s because clothes have no gender in my opinion, and it reminds me of when I’d play dress-up as a kid.
He also hold the opinion that I haven’t met the right person that makes me feel good about my body as it is even though I’ve had several accepting and respectful partners already. He doesn’t want me to jeopardize my ability to have my own kids. And when we went to the endocrinologist, I’ll confess, he asked the doctor if giving a trans person, say a trans man, more estrogen, would “fix” or improve their mentality. The doctor thankfully said that studies have shown it has the opposite effect and basically shot him down.
Both of my parents want to meet with more doctors before I start hrt, but neither of them have been offering any names, or I guess are suggesting that I do more research and schedule more appointments, even though that one appointment already took me almost a month (I think if not longer) to get through, which was lucky enough.
Then there’s my therapist. She’s a really kind woman and very respectful. She’s had several trans patients, some who have transitioned early on and some who’ve transitioned later in life. But she’s a firm believer that people should wait until they’re 25/until their brains are fully developed. I’ve told her about all the research I’ve done and that I’ve met with an endocrinologist to get more information. She wasn’t exactly thrilled over overly supported, but she proceeded to say: “You’re a smart person and have done a lot of research. You know my stance, but it’s your body, your choice.”
So a lot of these interactions have me really hesitant to do anything. A part of it is also the money because my insurance is a little bit iffy about what they do and don’t cover in terms of trans care and what they do cover has prerequisites.
It should be noted that I have ASD, on the high functioning end, so I have a hard time dealing with change. I really, really want to transition and get the body that I want to be truly happy and comfortable, but I’m terrified of medical procedures and my parents have me freaked out about the adverse side effects they keep coming across. Maybe it’s because while I have a decent support system, it’s just not great enough for me to feel like I’d be supported if I do decide to start transitioning or because my ASD is making me doubt that transitioning would make ME feel better, despite seeing all the content and proof of so many other trans people thriving and happy after they transitioned.
TLDR: I’m scared of medical procedures and while I have a supportive family, I don’t feel like they support me too much when it comes to medically transitioning. So I’m extremely nervous/hesitant to start medically transitioning despite desperately wanting to.

Hi everyone, this post is going to be half rant half opening up because I can't keep this anymore and need to write it down.
I am a PhD student in literature and have felt for a long time that I got into academia because I thought that this is what was expected of me. I was always the smart one in class and couldn't conceive a life were I didn't study as much as a could.
Now I find myself in a situation of pure panic everyday. Do I want to keep with the doctorate? No idea. I am so anxious all the time that I can't focus and do what it is asked of me during the years, I am clearly behind but I truly can't physically do more. I've felt lately that, even though I have been healing a lot in the past months, that I am more confused than ever.
I've been asking myself what I truly want to do but I am terryfied of any answer, as keeping the status quo intact seems to be the least of all the evils.
Finally, I want to say that one of the most difficult things that I currently face is asking for help. I just can't, but I want. I need other people to keep on going but I'm too scared to move and rely on others. The fear of being judged is so strong that it keeps me paralyzed. I want to improve in this aspect, but man is it hard.
In a way this post is a way to tell myself that keep going forward is the only thing I can do. Even though I feel useless and ashamed, I have to keep trying.
Thank you for reading. Love you all and wish you a happy life, not matter how far away it might seem.

Hi,
As an IT admin I always find myself looking for through vendor websites for the correct download link, this is not always an easy task.
As a solution to this I created a little website today as I had some spare time. The goal of the site is to collect direct download links for commonly used software by IT Administrators. Obviously only links to official and trusted sources are allowed to be on the site.
If anyone is interested, here's the link: https://directdownloads.pages.dev/
Feel free to contribute links to fill up the site!
Or if you are a programmer and want to help feel free to do so too! Programming is something I try to learn myself in my spare time so if you find any mistakes please do tell me :)
Github Project: https://github.com/LickABrick/directdownloads

If you don't want to read it all, head to the last 3 paragraphs. Thank you!
I'm a late bloomer, almost inexperienced in dating. I like a lot a female coworker and part of a friend group (she hasn't had a bf for the last 2-3 years at least, don't know about her life prior to that). She is serious and a bit reserved at first, but once you know her a bit she opens up and will be more talkative and enthusiast.
I started taking an interest on her, and I managed to get 3 dates over a little more than a month (we have busy schedules due to work). I don't feel any of them were forced in the slightlest. It felt like an easy progression, with mutual effort. Allow me to take you through them so you have more context:
-First date: I proposed it (we had never met before as just the two of us). I took her for a little road trip and some hiking. Over a couple hours of conversation, pleasant though superficial. I ride her home and in the car ahe says "thank you, it was a nice hike", says goodbye, and gets off the car.
-Second date: She proposed it. She didn't have a clear plan in mind (texted me asking if I wanted to hang out in the afternoon), so I say we could go on a hike and maybe go for a drink afterwards. We go on another 2 hour hike, this time inside our city (no car involved). I honestly feel a bit tired (it was a long walk) and assume we will part ways. She doesn't say goodbye though, and proposes going for the drinks. Another 2 hours. Conversation is still slightly superficial, but gets a bit deeper into knowing each other more. I walk her home in the evening, she says "thank you, text me something when you get home, goodbye". We kiss each other on the cheeks (doesn't mean that much here in Spain) and part ways.
-Third date: I proposed it. I casually say we could meet to watch a football game on Saturday. Turns out that Saturday was part of a long weekend (4 free days). She tends to go to her hometown whenever she can, and drags it as much as she can (if she works on a Monday afternoon, she'll stay in her hometown all weekend till Monday morning). However, she now shortens it, and gets back on Saturday to watch the game with me. We watch and enjoy it at my place, have a very pleasant night walk afterwards, and I drive her home. 4 hours in total, now mostly deep conversation.
But a kiss doesn't happen. I'm partly to blame: I'm a bit nervous, I still have my feet on the pedals, it's dark and I can't see her face properly. She says "thank you so much", I say "you are so welcome", she says "I actually had a lot of fun today", I say "I did too" trying to smile. I feel it might be coming and... she asks for kissing on the cheeks (again, not that remarkable in our culture). Says "till next time" and says goodnight before closing the door.
I feel there was progress. The third date felt quite good. The goodbye in the car was dragged on her side compared to the first date. The day after she texted me a beautiful passage of a book saying for some reason it had reminded her of me. But I'm confused as to what happened.
My current plan is to wait for her to propose a 4th date, since during the third date I baited we could watch another game next Saturday (it can only be watched at her place, so I feel it's best if I let her invite me to her place, since I already know she can propose a date if she wants one). Should I assume that if she invites me to her place she is interested, and go for a kiss? Should I ask her for a kiss instead of going straight for it? Or should I assume she is taking it slow, and patiently wait for a clear chance? Most of you seem to agree that third date is the limit for showing definite interest and that worries me.
Thanks a lot!

The Devil's Bleeding Crown guitar tabs download as Guitar Pro and PDF on: https://paidtabs.com/search/3nb7DD7vdQ0
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About 2 month ago, I launched my side project and has grown to over 1000 users. It’s an AI stock bot that sends alerts based on Reddit sentiment. It’s a free product so my marketing budget was a big fat $0.
Here’s how I hustled with a $0 budget and got my first 1000 users.

1. Get your first 10 users - cold DMs. This part sucks. “Do things that don’t scale”. But it’s the quickest way to get started and directly talk to your users. The goal isn’t to get to a million users instantly but to talk intimately with a small set of users, see what they like/don’t like about your early version, and iterate based on feedback. For example, my first set of users helped me beta test & tune my AI bot’s summaries. In the beginning, it would try to summarize everything, which resulted in bad alerts.
   
2. Get your next 100 users - share helpful content in communities. This one seems obvious but find small, active communities where your users hang. For me, it was small subreddits (<10,000 members), medium sized discords (~5,000 users), and Facebook investing groups. I would share my tool, share helpful content, and ask for feedback! DO NOT SPAM! But instead add value - for example, I would share a daily update of all the top stock news on Reddit as a “sample”. And if a user wanted more real time alerts or the updates delivered to their email, they could sign up for my service!
   
3. Get your next 900 users - build more features. You should hopefully have a growing set of users that use your product and now start asking for features. Build more of these features, you’ll be surprised how many can unlock growth. And especially focus on features that reduce the friction to try your product. For example, almost half of our users came when they told me “I don’t have Discord but I have email”. So I built a free daily email newsletter that they could sign up for!
   
4. Get your next ??? users - keep experimenting. As a next step for me, I’m going to try automating Twitter posts with AI stock alerts, invest in programmatic SEO, and see if partnering with content creators could be helpful for growth. The unfortunate reality is you have to keep experimenting - what got you to your last milestone might not be enough to get you to your next milestone.
   

Hope this helps you all! And if you’re interested in AI stock alerts, check out FluidBot here!

Hey Guys
I need a bit of advice because I'm sort of stuck.
This is going to be a long one, so please bear with me.
My fiancé (32 M) and I (30 F) have been together for about 6 years now and engaged for almost a year. He is a really great guy, he makes me laugh and we have a very good friendship going in our relationship.
Our relationship in the beginning was quite tough, he had been single for quite some time and had the typical bachelor lifestyle. I had left a toxic 2 year relationship about 6 months before. We were just hanging out as we knew each other for about 9 years at that point and had contact on an off over the years. Things moved quickly and we fell in love head over heels, he moved in with me about 5 months into our relationship.
He was a big party guy and I soon realised that drugs were a regular part of nights out, I'm not innocent in this, I was keen on experimenting too, but at some point, I knew we had to stop this hectic party lifestyle and we both agreed - no more drugs. I don't have an addictive personality so it was no big deal to me, but he would use this so often that it became a habit to remain "sober" during nights out in order to keep partying.
Him stopping with the drugs didn't end up being so clean cut and was a very difficult habit for him to break. I eventually came clean to his father and asked for help as I battled to manage on my own and it was destroying our relationship, not only that but he is in an industry where there is zero tolerance for any of that shit. His dad got him the help he needed and it went better from then on out, there were still instances where it would happen as a one off every 6 months or so and he would blame it on whatever short comings he thought he had or external factors that were eating away at his mental health and usually I was really supportive and we worked through the issues as best as we could but I got really hard on him when it happened again and again and set clear boundaries and it eventually stopped.
Now this is where the issue comes in, he is a total sweet heart and I adore this man to bits. Ive seen the highs, Ive seen the lows, and I still chose to stay.
We are really social people, so there's always a drink or two involved.
But there have been MANY instances throughout our relationship where his drinking would end up with me in tears as he becomes a totally different person and we don't mingle when alcohol is involved. I know that when he has a certain amount of alcohol I kind of "lose" him for the night and he ends up making a total fool of himself with me needing to sober up in order to drive us home as he is 90% of the time having a lot more fun than me because I cant just cut loose like him knowing he has my back, and he ends up being too drunk to drive.
This usually ends up in a fight with me trying to get him to leave the bar with me, Sometimes he doesn't want to leave and I end up leaving without him, his phone dies or he doesn't take my calls and I lie awake worrying about him until he shows up. The times I do manage to get him away, I need to deal with a drunk guy saying hurtful things in the car to me while I drive his ass home, we get home and he passes out cold and I'm left in tears reeling from the shit he said. The next morning he seemingly doesn't remember a thing.
I left him at a bar one night as I had work in the morning, and so did he. I BEGGED him to leave with me. He ended up going back to the bar ignoring my calls as I sat waiting in the parking lot eventually I left for home. He went completely MIA and his family and I were frantically looking for him the next day. He surfaced at around 10/11 AM, he claimed to have bumped into a mentor of his at the same bar. They got drunk and he ended sleeping over at the mentor's house and this guy was the one who dropped him off the next day.
Something didn't feel right and about a week later, I started asking questions. He eventually told me that he had bumped into a mentor of his along with an older woman who I cannot stand. He had in fact slept over at the mentor's house, but she was the one who dropped him off in the street outside the house where I don't have a view of the gate, so I wouldn't see him getting out of her car because he knew it would upset me. He claims nothing happened that night, but to this day I cant be sure as he was perfectly happy not to say anything to me about it until I started prodding. He claimed that this older woman and his mentor had been hooking up, however her social media was filled with photos of her and another guy who she was clearly in a relationship with.
Fast forward, and we worked through it and I tried my best to look past it. We were doing really well after that, so well in fact that we were talking about getting married.
He has a genetic condition in his family and there is a 50/50 chance of him one day inheriting the same disease which basically ends up in a movement disorder and being non verbal needing constant care.
This has obviously played a part in our relationship and it scares both of us shitless, but I am up for whether the future may hold because I love this dude so, so much. We may not be able to have kids and I'm ok with that.
We got engaged about a year ago, his career took off in the same year and I was cheering him on and really excited for our future together. I always try to be as supportive as possible about his career and Im very understanding about how the industry works, sometimes its very slow and he doesn't work as often as he likes, and it makes him depressed as he's the type of guy that generally needs to stay busy. He has hobbies and a few other things that can make up for the waiting around but he ends up in a hole eventually, I talk with him about it often, and I try to keep him motivated and reassure him that he is an amazing guy, and that things WILL get better, because it always does. But eventually things go South.
The heavy drinking started again. Ive learned to just remain calm and generally drink less than him as I dont need to get shit faced every time we get a drink with friends or whatever.
It was a late Sunday afternoon, and again, I had to work the next morning I'm in the most Snr position at my job, with around 13 people working under me, so I need to bring my A Game everyday. (My fiancé' was not scheduled to work the next day) but I put my foot down, hard and we left, he ended up blaming me for being a control freak and not letting him enjoy himself. When we got home he grabbed his keys and he disappeared.
He went drinking and didn't come home the whole night. The next day I found out through a colleague of mine that he saw my fiancé at the bar as he was there with a mutual friend of his grabbing a few beers. This friend of my colleague is a bit rough around the edges, but this friend of my colleague's and my fiancé were drinking together and my fiancé ended up asking this friend for drugs in front of my colleague. My colleague left and my fiancé and some random dudes along with this friend, went off to a different bar close to our house to go get drugs.
He obviously didn't come home as I can spot someone high on something a mile away. The next morning, I just checked in with his dad if he knew where my fiancé was, and his dad assured me that my fiancé ended up sleeping over at their house the night. What time he got there, no one knows. But I knew he was awake just before 02:00 AM as I could see he was online and blatantly ignoring my calls.
This was completely out of the blue as drugs are not part of our lives anymore. I kept this information to myself to see what he would say. The spun the same sad story about how sad his life is (there ALWAYS something) and he ended up asking for a bullet from a guy. Knowing he downplayed what happened, and asking for drugs in the presence of a Jnr colleague who reports to me as his Snr, I think just broke the last little bit of hope I had for us and was just so humiliating.
Its like I'm on auto pilot at the moment as it always feels like as soon as I get excited and we take big steps in our relationship, we end up taking two steps back. Ive explained over and over so many times how I can deal with anything in our relationship, but the shit he pulls are serious red flags to me and it breaks trust. I cannot get comfortable getting married to someone who out of the blue chooses to do shit that he knows will seriously hurt me and our relationship. When we're good, we're really good together and our relationship is beautiful. I manage to let go of the past, and start day dreaming about our life together, and I get so giddy and grateful for what we have, just to be blind sided by his actions that it feels like a fist to the gut out of nowhere. Ive obviously allowed this behaviour by looking past them so many times in the past and he's crossed my boundaries so many times because I'm so soft.
Ive contemplated leaving the relationship many times in the past, but always ended up staying.
I love this guy with every fibre of my being, we've been through a lot and I adore his family, we all get along great. But I think this was the final straw and I feel like I have very little reason to stay this time.
Im obviously not perfect, but Im very easy going and can easily adjust to whatever he needs from me in the relationship, I grew up in a home where my parents never had the best marriage and Im deadly afraid of repeating history, so I always try my best not to rock the boat and would never do anything to hurt him.
What do I do? Do I stick it out and work through this again taking a leap of faith? Or do I walk away?

I have tested negative a month ago I've been doing so much better I can confidently say I'm 80% normal in just 3months ... however I'm starting to worry about reinfection .. who else got rid of the bug and was able to stay Hp free for so long ? I need all the tips I can get! Thank you in advance.

Still Counting guitar tabs download as Guitar Pro and PDF on: https://paidtabs.com/search/aXhjp85UNJI
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So i’ve seen some reddit posts circulating and i really want to try after seeing all the comments.
For context, 1, 19F recently broke up with my boyfriend 20M. We both go to the same college and are from the same states. There were some things in the relationship that i was very confused about, since that was my first relationship. I would just like to list some things that he did, so i can know if they are to be expected in a relationship, the bare minimum, or anything else. (Our relationship was about 6/7months)

1. We never went to eat at a pricy restaurant. By this, i do not mean fine dining, but restaurants with menu prices more than $20. About 75% of bills are split, 20% were paid by me, and 5% was paid by him.
   
2. We never got many gifts for each other. By this i mean during anniversaries or special occasions or just a little something. At the beginning of our relationship, i would get him small things, trinkets, keychain, drinks when he's stressed. I understand that he might not like gift giving, (slight exception when he got me an expensive gift) but if he did get me something it made me feel bad. (always mentioning prices, how expensive/inexpensive things were)
   
3. Birthdays, I got him a gift of things he loved valued well over $100, and when it was my birthday, his gift was $5 including the card. (his gift were things he had from years prior that was unopened and although yes was expensive, he got it for free)
   
4. If i did anything that made him upset (did not pick up phone call) he would say something along the lines of "oh you don't want to call, it's okay" after i tell him the reason i did not pick up (e.g when i am in class, or did not hear the ring)
   
5. He loves taking photos of me and has many cute candids.
   

6.1 am not DTF, but continuously tried to change it. Doing things that started as unconsensual until i accepted. (not sex tho)

1. Texting was mostly dry, unless he talked about a topic he liked, then it was one-sided.
   
2. At the middle of the relationship, he tended to promise to call in a little bit, making me wait for hours, and as I told him I would be sleeping, miraculously appearing.
   
3. Always late. Average 30mins-1hr. Once I waited about 3hrs.
   
4. After the breakup, told me that I get jealous (sure) but the occasions he bought up was 1.Telling a stranger (now a friend of ours) something personal and refusing to tell me. 2. Dragged another girl to a private secluded area and later proceeded to give her pats.
   
5. Does not remember my favourite colour despite telling him like once every 2-3 months.
   
6. Talks about other girls attractiveness, actually rated me out of 10.
   
7. Tries to make me eat healthier, gives me vegetables, makes me drink water. (normally gives me vegetables he does not like though)
   
8. Very stubborn about specific topics; thinking people who are overweight do not respect themselves, does not like when the Igbt+ community express it too much, believes his kids will 100% be prodigies and angels)
   
9. Wants a private relationship but always PDA, and continues to even after I tell him to stop
   
10. Wrote a very cute poem for me, and spent lots of time on it.
    

This is a throwaway account, but i will be happy to answer any questions or anything. Please give me your thoughts and opinions as i really need a third-party view on this. Thank you!!
We are still in contact, but i hope he doesn't find this post

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Hello all. Like the title states, I could skip four and five and get the mortgage completey paid this year. Household income 120k, retirement accounts 280k, 850 is the monthly mortgage note, 13k left on the mortgage. We have four kids and about 20k in their 529s. I am 49 and my wife is 41. I could pay about 2000 extra per month and it would be gone by Christmas. Otherwise, it will be done in about two years more. Usually Dave says to stay on track with the program, but I came across one newspaper article in which he said that since the couple was so close, they stop momentarily stop to knock out the mortgage. That situation was similar to mine.
We are so close to being totally debt free! It is tough at this point to not pull the trigger and just slay the remaining debt. Yes, there is opportunity cost to temporarily not investing, but man, saving that mortgage payment every month would sure be sweet.

Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
The afternoon was so pleasant after that, Weslan nearly forgot where he was. Hieron’s cheerful conversation, catching him up on Calderan business and gossip, took him back to an old life. Once, he had been successful and popular, and relieving those memories almost made him feel safe. But eventually the pleasantries faded, and the topic of conversation steered back to more serious matters.
“Terrible business, what happened to my daughter.” Hieron said, as his eyes misted over “Such a tragic loss. Nearly killed her mother, poor thing.”
Weslan could only nod, and wait for the questions that would inevitably follow.
“I won’t bother you with the same old rigmarole, dear boy. But you’ve no idea why she was on that transport?”
“I’m so sorry, I’ve no memory at all about the trip.” Weslan tried to smile sympathetically.
“Of course, of course. No matter. But we’d thought she was off at some sort of spy school, or whatever that damn place is. Next thing you know, we hear she’s involved in a military project with old classmates. Back on Caldera and hadn’t even called us. Not like her at all.”
“And not on the contractor’s records either,” Crayland said gently. “Meanwhile the other cardinals swear blind that they have no idea what the Academy is all about. It certainly doesn’t report to the Adjudicate.”
Hieron smiled sadly. “She got in though, didn’t she? Tells you everything you need to know about my darling Rose. Most others failed, but she was the best in the galaxy.”
Crayland squeezed his shoulder, then turned back to Weslan. “Not to get into gruesome detail, but it is somewhat surprising that only one person on the transport was killed, when everyone else returned unharmed. Apart from the amnesia, obviously.”
Weslan nodded keenly. He had many of the same questions himself, but suspected they would never be answered. Then his hair stood on end. The two others had gone silent, as they watched him carefully.
“Did they tell you that an unidentified ship had been detected in an orbit that passed near your crash site?” Crayland said.
“No,” Weslan said, desperate to hear more.
“Vanished without a trace, so the report says. And other satellites detected evidence of ‘explosive events’ in the same area. Dust clouds and seismic readings, and so on.”
“What does that mean?”
“We don’t know. But the League is very concerned about the growth of terrorist movements in the frontier clusters. One individual of particular concern was spotted in Rackeye several months before the crash.”
“Who? What are you saying?” Weslan leaned forward, almost shouting the words.
“Allana Rayker. A wanted criminal with… ties to radical separatists, and other groups that threaten to destabilize the region.”
She was lying. Weslan had no idea why, but her tone and body language had changed ever so slightly. Since the accident, the lies of ordinary people had begun to seem more obvious. In Crayland’s case, he wasn’t sure what she was lying about, only that he was going to be a pawn in her agenda.
But he was equally certain of her desire to protect the League and its citizens. And whatever secrets they wanted to uncover would help him understand what had happened to him. Maybe he could even rid himself of the dark lady.
“Every year,” said Hieron, “we hear more and more reports of hostility from the colonists. Sometimes they threaten Helvet citizens, sometimes they attack their businesses. Whatever Rose was doing out there… she was obviously doing it for the League. And, well, from our perch it looks like somebody wanted to stop her. Perhaps you and your fellow scientists were there by accident. Or maybe even used as part of the cover story? We can only guess.”
Crayland looked at him sharply. “Guessing is unacceptable. But the Adjudicate is nearly blind outside of Rackeye. Our people simply don’t have the support or training to work in unfriendly environments.”
Hieron grunted. “That’s what the Sentinels are supposed to do.”
“Yes, but Cardinal Darys is an incompetent and corrupt monster. The service watches his interests alone.”
“I spoke to him after the funeral. He assured me they were doing everything they could to maintain a presence on Caldera, but their resources were limited.
“He assured me,” Crayland said, “that Caldera, as a precarious frontier outpost, was as relevant to him as a Martian rock.”
Hieron’s fists balled.
“Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it,” Weslan blurted out.
Hieron and Crayland both turned and stared at him in surprise.
***
A week later, Weslan walked into the recruitment office of the Helvetic League’s security service. Known as ‘Sentinels’ they reported directly to the League’s governing central committee, and monitored all colonized space for security threats.
It wasn’t simply the Cardinal’s concern for Caldera that had earned Weslan’s loyalty, or that she seemed to be the only official with at least some idea of what had happened to him. A fundamental part of the galactic machine that kept them all safe was broken, and that appalled both of them. The League was the only source of order in the galaxy. Without it, the human worlds would cannibalize each other.
And if he couldn’t rid himself of the dark lady, he would at least make sure that others would be protected from her. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore.
The Sentinels were impressed by his resume, and keen desire to serve. His motivation didn’t need explaining—he was Calderan. Their citizens were constantly complaining about the threats from cartels or colonists, or space junk. Weslan found the selection program tough, but he pushed through it. They wanted his total dedication, and he was willing to give it.
After a tough year of training, he graduated as the honor cadet of his class, and was assigned to a senior agent on Barroche. The posting neither pleased him nor displeased him. It was necessary. The desire to return to Caldera was buried beneath his work, and he maintained regular contact with Hieron. Their messages were friendly, mostly keeping each other up to date. Weslan occasionally inserted references to his new office in the form of anecdotes from his school years. Nothing bothered him about the Sentinels he was working with, but he felt he should build up the practice of passing information, and his comfort with the risk. Someday, he would rise through the ranks of the organization, and the stakes would only increase.
But the nightmares never stopped, and even in his new job Weslan could not remember the last time he had slept well.
Purpose, and responsibility kept him going. Despite draining fatigue, he got out of bed before the alarm went off. His joints groaned with pain as he changed into a suit—the heavy gravity of Barroche still took a toll on his body. Then he ate breakfast, and flicked through the news feeds before his shift started.
There was another story about the terrorist attack on Ambrosia. Apparently, the central committee was preparing to name a special investigator. If Crayland had been placed in charge they would already have a list of suspects. However, the senior directors of the security service were politically connected, and their maneuvering and sabotaging had drawn the process out. Now, they were making a song and dance of the whole thing to appease the extremely powerful citizens who frequented the exclusive planet. As much as Weslan believed in the necessity of the League, its corruption infuriated him. But that was the nature of humanity: weakness, ignorance, and frailty.
He grabbed a heavy jacket before stepping out into the frigid cold and feeble light of day. Barroche’s star was much further away than Caldera’s hot sun whose warmth had brought him so many happy summer memories. When he turned down a street towards a park, the sky lit up with a brilliant flash, and he automatically looked down. The planet was also nearly twice the size of Earth, and, apart from two other small rocky planets, alone in the system. Asteroids and comets were frequently drawn into its gravity well, producing spectacular fireballs on a regular basis.
Colonization had been attractive, Weslan had learned, because the planet was so rich in mineral resources. The League had managed the challenging project entirely on its own, establishing a planetwide network of tracking stations and rocket batteries, both terrestrial and orbital, for asteroid defense. Big rocks, larger than a mile in diameter, were deflected decades in advance of a projected collision. Smaller impactors were far too numerous to track or do anything about, until they approached Barroche’s atmosphere. Then, they were met with fusion warheads, capable of destroying the meteors before they fell too low into the atmosphere.
Such spectacular interceptions occurred several times a week, and caused the locals to joke about the hardships of their world. “Where the heavens touch the earth,” was one unofficial motto.
Weslan met Marsella Espher, his senior partner, in the middle of the park, where she liked to enjoyed a bagel, and watch birds gathering around a lake. He contemplated her as he approached, and felt the usual heart stopping sensation. She was very beautiful, almost aristocratic, and with the toned athleticism typical of Barrochian women. There she was, so pure, so representative of everything good about humanity, enjoying a moment of peace while she observed the beauty of nature. The moment left him with a mild headache, as all beautiful things did. The sublime was difficult to process, for one of a diseased consciousness.
She looked around and smiled when she saw him. Weslan felt a small flash of pain, which was logical for a cursed man. He wasn’t attracted to her exactly—she was almost a mentor figure. He wanted her respect, and he was well on his way to gaining it. Marsella was more than other women, and Weslan felt that she should be treated as such, rather than being the object of base desires.
“Are you well, Genny?” she said warmly. “Did you recover from your workout?”
Twice a week, all non-native Sentinels were required to perform a supervised weightlifting routine, to help them adapt to the demands of Barroche’s gravity. Weslan hated it. He would much rather be provided an exoskeleton, as the Army was doing with their research program. Unfortunately for him, the Sentinels rejected machine dependency.
“Good morning, Espher,” he said, and managed a tight smile. “I’m in a great deal of pain, and exhausted, thank you for your concern.”
“You still don’t sleep well?”
Weslan looked away and shifted uncomfortably. “It’s the meteors. I feel like I can’t stop waiting for the next one.”
“We will have to book you in for a sleep therapist,” Marsella said. “You can’t adapt if you don’t recover properly.”
Weslan nodded. Whatever they asked him, he would lie anyway.
“More personnel reviews today?” he asked. Background checks were boring, but essential work for League security, and a favorite chore to dump on new recruits.
“Of course,” Masella said, and sighed. “The parade’s next month, you see.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Didn’t you check your calendar? Foundation day is coming up, and there will be a military parade through the city. We need to vet all the officers who will be present. The directorate is particularly keen, given the incident on Ambrosia.”
Barroche’s vast missile production industry, and physically stronger citizens, made the planet a natural base for the League’s military. The citizens idolized their soldiers to an extent that made Weslan uncomfortable.
He snorted. “I should think we can manage to be more reliable than the fools defending their beach resorts.”
Marsella fixed him with a stern look. “What is our worst enemy, Genny? I have told you many times and I don’t want to have to keep restating it.”
Weslan rolled his eyes. “Overconfidence. But I’m not advocating that we take a day off. I’m simply pointing out the incompetence of the corporate class.”
Marsella tossed her wrapping in a bin, stood up and began heading in the direction of her car. “I’ve obviously never been to Ambrosia, but I hear they have several of our finest veterans contracted on their security details,” she said as they walked.
“Are these the same veterans who lost the frontier war?”
She glanced at him with a disappointed expression. “Why are you always so negative?”
“It’s probably the fatigue. But I promise to be attentive today. Ill-tempered, but attentive.”
“So be it.”
First ¦ Previous ¦ Royal Road ¦ Patreon
Prequel (Chapters 1 to 16)
1. Rise of a Valkyrie