Hi this is my first time posting but I'm extremely conflicted and need some advice. Some words may be misspelt but please bar with me please. 🙏
I 14 year old female recently got out of the hospital after my liver failed, at this time I was doing a horrible job in school and with my friends and family and I thought if I was.... Dead then nobody would care so I took a bunch of pills. I didn't count I just took the pills.A few days later my grandma would is my emotional support came back after going away for 2 funerals. I just extremely ill and when we went to the hospital they miss diagnosed me but then did a few more tests and said that my liver was failing and they had to send me to a different hospital in Utah. I was put in a medical induced coma for weeks. When I first woke up in the hospital I scared and in pain (Side note:I'm okay now) A couple weeks in to my hospital stay my sister 23 female called my grandma screaming and yelling at her. By the way my grandma doesn't like yelling so imagine my shock when he yelled at my sister and I quote "You have no right to be worried about your little sister you haven't been in her life for years and now that she almost died you care about her!?. I was still in shock but as soon as my grandma calmed down my sister asked if she could have my phone number to keep it touch. Me being a 12 year old said yes. But as soon as I get out of the hospital she left me on red. My grandma said that I was nice to give her a chance and I blocked her. A couple weeks ago by and she called my grandma screaming saying that I was a spoil brat and I should have died for trying to keep her from contacting me. At this point I was sobbing. And I feel like I'm really the bad guy.
So am I the AITA for blocking my sister. And should I un block her. Please be honest I want to know if I'm in the wrong.

So for context I've set up the daunting task to myself to read and watch every piece of One Piece media, including filler AND movies AND Special Episodes (not video games tho). I have it set up where I read one chapter a day and one episode a day, so even though the story doesn't match, I don't feel overwhelmed by the series. I am having trouble figuring out where I can watch the movies and certain special episodes, hopefully I can figure that out soon. I already read and know most the base story up to fishman island, but I don't remember much beyond that, so this has already been a new adventure & a nostalgic trip.
So with that context, I'd figure while I'm watching/reading, I'd give what I like/dislike on the series in this subreddit as it progresses. I've finished East Blue a while back, and never thought to do this, so I'm doing it now (I tried to make it not too spoilery, but I've marked it as spoilers for anyone who prefers to go in completely blind).
This arc is as nostalgic as it gets. It's pretty much just "Introduction: the Arc". That's probably why it had so many memorable moments. I love all the main characters that get introduced. I love Luffy and his antics, and how he keeps things simple in this little world. Zoro is very quickly becoming my favorite. He just has so many awesome moments. I like Nami's "big sister" energy. Usopp is interesting, because he's treated like comedy relief, but has really good street-smarts. I feel he and Luffy match as the most passionate of all. And I find it funny how Sanji bounces between acting cool and acting like a complete dork! I like how all the main characters are given a moment to look cool, even the comedic relief ones. I also found it funny how all the character go between being the "straight-man" of the group, to having only one braincell. It really felt like a bunch of idiot teenagers/young adults just screwing around and having fun, and I liked that. It added a certain sense of comfort and connection that comes with friendship and family (which is what the show is all about).
Probably what I didn't like was the pacing, in the anime specifically. I know some fans dog on the timeskip for having awful pacing, but I felt even in the early seasons that the show ran way to slow. Sometimes the slowness worked in it's favor, like with certain serious and emotional scenes, but other times I felt it made some scenes not land as hard, especially with fight scenes. I definitely preferred reading the manga when it came to that. I also think, because it was kind of an introductory arc, the stories weren't all that interesting, even with so many classic and memorable scenes. I'm about halfway through Alabasta and I found that to be more interesting of a story. I think Logue town was probably the most interesting to me, including the filler, when we got a taste of Gol D. Roger history, and saw the Straw Hats interacting with the town. The other arcs had some fun episodes, but beyond that most of it was just meh to me.
Some things I found interesting were how you could kinda tell if an episode was done by a different artist or team, or which episode had more or less of a budget, or which felt more rushed. I'm not sure which exactly was the case, but I could see little details that make each episode feel slightly different in terms of its animation. I thought the filler arc with the dragon was fine. I thought the villains motivation behind stealing the dragon was interesting. Nothing else was too memorable about it.
My personal favorite episodes (based on the anime, not the manga) are:

• E1
• E24 My personal favorite! This episode rocked!
• E37 Also iconic. The Crying Scene was done very well.
• E52

And here are the other episodes I found interesting (not my favorites, but interesting:

• E4
• E9
• E19 I like Zoro's backstory.
• E20
• E30
• E36
• E40
• E41
• E43
• E45
• E46 Didn't expect the Buggy arc to be surprisingly fun.
• E47
• E48
• E50
• E51
• E53
• E54
• E56 After this episode, the filler arc felt kinda boring to me.

Wish me luck on my One Piece journey. I'm having a lot of fun with it. And I'd love to hear your thoughts as well. :)

Hello there Before I move onto a spiel about myself, please read below. If this is something that isn’t for you, I understand; wish you all the best in your search for your one and only. No need to message me and tell me how pathetic and special I think I am (not the case).
I am NOT looking for sympathy or attention; this is purely a disclaimer so that we can avoid any disappointments down the line. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as well as anxiety at a very young age (firstly in my country and then confirmed by the doctors in the UK); I haven’t done much about any of these things for a while as I just ‘got on with it’ but the last few years have been a nightmare. I currently take medication to help me with the mood swings and anxiety. I am also on a waiting list for a therapist but if like me, you live in the UK you well know that this waiting list is a bottomless pit. I have been given an estimated time of 2years. I cannot afford to go private sadly. And yes, I am kicking myself about not sorting this out earlier in my life.
With that being said, I might come across as clingy and needy at times which, myself on my own I am working on.
I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia in late 2019 (please look this up on Google, don’t message me asking to quote ‘the fuq is this’) after everything else being ruled out. Some days are worse than the others, but I do try my best to carry on with my life as normal. I still work and lead somewhat normal life until the very familiar feeling of fatigue and pain hits me. I take painkillers to ease the pain. Anyway, this is all over and done with now. As mentioned, if this hasn’t put you off me then please read on! Warning though, this is going to be a long one.
What am I after: -a straight male, aged 29 – 45 (I wont budge on the age so don’t message me if youre younger) -preferably living in the UK but I am open to long distance (Europe and America with time difference no more than 6h) -a homebody, like me -free from any substances (occasional alcohol consumption is fine) -NO PREFERENCE WHEN IT COMES TO HEIGHT OR BODY TYPE; all about the nice face and personality. -impeccable personal hygiene (not expecting you to smell like the most expensive perfume out there) -child free (and must want to remain that way, I am not budging on that) -MONOGAMOUS and I cannot stress this enough -speak English (communication purposes duh) -employed (not because I want your cash money but if we’re long distance, we both need to be able to fund our travels) -a respectful, funny, loyal, understanding, patient, loving, affectionate individual.
Beyond all that though, I am after a best friend; someone who will have my back no matter what. Someone who will accept me for who I am and won’t force me to change. Someone to enter my life and take the role of my partner (eventually) and join me on this rather wild ride called life. If you don’t give up on me, I wont give up on you. I am NOT looking for a therapist or care giver.
And yes, I can give the same back, and always will. I wont respond to any messages along the lines of ‘hru’; I wrote a long ass post about myself and I am sure you can muster a few more words yourself or to profiles containing inappropriate posts and comment history (especially if your comment history is littered with derogatory language).
I might as well move onto the main bit. My name is Anita and it’s very nice to meet you! I am a 29 year old eastern European living in the UK at the moment, in Bristol. Ive been in the UK since late 2007 and consider this country my home. I have gone back to my home country a few times but I always feel like a tourist there. I am a bit of a unit really, standing 6ft tall (them genes) and weighing approx. 13st (185lbs or 82kg; my weight keeps fluctuating a lot and I am not looking for any tips on how to lose weight). I have red dyed hair (more like ginger these days as I haven’t had a chance to get around dyeing it) and green eyes. I wear glasses as I’m blind as a bat; I also wear a lot of eyeliner so I guess you could shove me in the emo or goth category.
I am an introvert and always been one since I was a kid. Just preferred my own company or that of animals. I am not shy, if anything I can become quite gobby when it comes to standing up for myself or those close to me. I don’t need to ‘get out of my shell’ or ‘leave my house more’ so please miss me with these suggestions.
I am a vegetarian (not a deal breaker if you aren’t. your choice is to eat meat and mine is not to and that’s fine. Live and let live).
I love tea and coffee!!! Cant live without these. I need at least 2-3 cups of each a day
Snacks!!!! One of many reasons why I can’t lose weight. I also love fruit, if I had to choose my favourite one that would be a watermelon.
Bookworm (I haven’t read anything in a long time due to lack of time and brain not braining. I have a stack of books I need to get through eventually). Apolitical (now, now. I read the news almost everyday so I am aware of what’s happening in the world but I refuse to support any of the parties. They are all the same, just wrapped differently. They don’t care about the normal folk like you and I).
Animal lover (I have 4 rescued cats who are my life; I have also rescued about 50 of them. We either found them new loving homes or made them comfortable in their last minutes). No addictions here (occasional drink here and there; although I vape a lot).
In my spare time I like to go for walks, nap, watch tv, play sims 4, chill with my mum and cats, go out shopping with my mum and grab a coffee, listen to true crime podcasts and music (with Daughter being my fav artist lately), visit my brother in London, over eat, over think and read (trying to get to it).
I don’t game religiously or watch anime, which seems to be a common theme here.
As you can tell, I’m just a relatively boring and unremarkable human being; and I’m happy with it. Message me with your name, location and age. Tell me what made you message me. you don’t have to send me your pic straight away; I can assure you I wont until I’m 100% comfortable.
To show that you read all my ramblings, end your message with ‘toodlepip’.
And if you don’t like what you read…. Just move on. No need to call me names in comments or messages.
Thank you for your time; I will respond as soon as I can.
Good luck!

Hello there Before I move onto a spiel about myself, please read below. If this is something that isn’t for you, I understand; wish you all the best in your search for your one and only. No need to message me and tell me how pathetic and special I think I am (not the case).
I am NOT looking for sympathy or attention; this is purely a disclaimer so that we can avoid any disappointments down the line. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as well as anxiety at a very young age (firstly in my country and then confirmed by the doctors in the UK); I haven’t done much about any of these things for a while as I just ‘got on with it’ but the last few years have been a nightmare. I currently take medication to help me with the mood swings and anxiety. I am also on a waiting list for a therapist but if like me, you live in the UK you well know that this waiting list is a bottomless pit. I have been given an estimated time of 2years. I cannot afford to go private sadly. And yes, I am kicking myself about not sorting this out earlier in my life.
With that being said, I might come across as clingy and needy at times which, myself on my own I am working on.
I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia in late 2019 (please look this up on Google, don’t message me asking to quote ‘the fuq is this’) after everything else being ruled out. Some days are worse than the others, but I do try my best to carry on with my life as normal. I still work and lead somewhat normal life until the very familiar feeling of fatigue and pain hits me. I take painkillers to ease the pain. Anyway, this is all over and done with now. As mentioned, if this hasn’t put you off me then please read on! Warning though, this is going to be a long one.
What am I after: -a straight male, aged 29 – 45 (I wont budge on the age so don’t message me if youre younger) -preferably living in the UK but I am open to long distance (Europe and America with time difference no more than 6h) -a homebody, like me -free from any substances (occasional alcohol consumption is fine) -NO PREFERENCE WHEN IT COMES TO HEIGHT OR BODY TYPE; all about the nice face and personality. -impeccable personal hygiene (not expecting you to smell like the most expensive perfume out there) -child free (and must want to remain that way, I am not budging on that) -MONOGAMOUS and I cannot stress this enough -speak English (communication purposes duh) -employed (not because I want your cash money but if we’re long distance, we both need to be able to fund our travels) -a respectful, funny, loyal, understanding, patient, loving, affectionate individual.
Beyond all that though, I am after a best friend; someone who will have my back no matter what. Someone who will accept me for who I am and won’t force me to change. Someone to enter my life and take the role of my partner (eventually) and join me on this rather wild ride called life. If you don’t give up on me, I wont give up on you. I am NOT looking for a therapist or care giver.
And yes, I can give the same back, and always will. I wont respond to any messages along the lines of ‘hru’; I wrote a long ass post about myself and I am sure you can muster a few more words yourself or to profiles containing inappropriate posts and comment history (especially if your comment history is littered with derogatory language).
I might as well move onto the main bit. My name is Anita and it’s very nice to meet you! I am a 29 year old eastern European living in the UK at the moment, in Bristol. Ive been in the UK since late 2007 and consider this country my home. I have gone back to my home country a few times but I always feel like a tourist there. I am a bit of a unit really, standing 6ft tall (them genes) and weighing approx. 13st (185lbs or 82kg; my weight keeps fluctuating a lot and I am not looking for any tips on how to lose weight). I have red dyed hair (more like ginger these days as I haven’t had a chance to get around dyeing it) and green eyes. I wear glasses as I’m blind as a bat; I also wear a lot of eyeliner so I guess you could shove me in the emo or goth category.
I am an introvert and always been one since I was a kid. Just preferred my own company or that of animals. I am not shy, if anything I can become quite gobby when it comes to standing up for myself or those close to me. I don’t need to ‘get out of my shell’ or ‘leave my house more’ so please miss me with these suggestions.
I am a vegetarian (not a deal breaker if you aren’t. your choice is to eat meat and mine is not to and that’s fine. Live and let live).
I love tea and coffee!!! Cant live without these. I need at least 2-3 cups of each a day
Snacks!!!! One of many reasons why I can’t lose weight. I also love fruit, if I had to choose my favourite one that would be a watermelon.
Bookworm (I haven’t read anything in a long time due to lack of time and brain not braining. I have a stack of books I need to get through eventually). Apolitical (now, now. I read the news almost everyday so I am aware of what’s happening in the world but I refuse to support any of the parties. They are all the same, just wrapped differently. They don’t care about the normal folk like you and I).
Animal lover (I have 4 rescued cats who are my life; I have also rescued about 50 of them. We either found them new loving homes or made them comfortable in their last minutes). No addictions here (occasional drink here and there; although I vape a lot).
In my spare time I like to go for walks, nap, watch tv, play sims 4, chill with my mum and cats, go out shopping with my mum and grab a coffee, listen to true crime podcasts and music (with Daughter being my fav artist lately), visit my brother in London, over eat, over think and read (trying to get to it).
I don’t game religiously or watch anime, which seems to be a common theme here.
As you can tell, I’m just a relatively boring and unremarkable human being; and I’m happy with it. Message me with your name, location and age. Tell me what made you message me. you don’t have to send me your pic straight away; I can assure you I wont until I’m 100% comfortable.
To show that you read all my ramblings, end your message with ‘toodlepip’.
And if you don’t like what you read…. Just move on. No need to call me names in comments or messages.
Thank you for your time; I will respond as soon as I can.
Good luck!

Hello there Before I move onto a spiel about myself, please read below. If this is something that isn’t for you, I understand; wish you all the best in your search for your one and only. No need to message me and tell me how pathetic and special I think I am (not the case).
I am NOT looking for sympathy or attention; this is purely a disclaimer so that we can avoid any disappointments down the line. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder as well as anxiety at a very young age (firstly in my country and then confirmed by the doctors in the UK); I haven’t done much about any of these things for a while as I just ‘got on with it’ but the last few years have been a nightmare. I currently take medication to help me with the mood swings and anxiety. I am also on a waiting list for a therapist but if like me, you live in the UK you well know that this waiting list is a bottomless pit. I have been given an estimated time of 2years. I cannot afford to go private sadly. And yes, I am kicking myself about not sorting this out earlier in my life.
With that being said, I might come across as clingy and needy at times which, myself on my own I am working on.
I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia in late 2019 (please look this up on Google, don’t message me asking to quote ‘the fuq is this’) after everything else being ruled out. Some days are worse than the others, but I do try my best to carry on with my life as normal. I still work and lead somewhat normal life until the very familiar feeling of fatigue and pain hits me. I take painkillers to ease the pain. Anyway, this is all over and done with now. As mentioned, if this hasn’t put you off me then please read on! Warning though, this is going to be a long one.
What am I after: -a straight male, aged 29 – 45 (I wont budge on the age so don’t message me if youre younger) -preferably living in the UK but I am open to long distance (Europe and America with time difference no more than 6h) -a homebody, like me -free from any substances (occasional alcohol consumption is fine) -NO PREFERENCE WHEN IT COMES TO HEIGHT OR BODY TYPE; all about the nice face and personality. -impeccable personal hygiene (not expecting you to smell like the most expensive perfume out there) -child free (and must want to remain that way, I am not budging on that) -MONOGAMOUS and I cannot stress this enough -speak English (communication purposes duh) -employed (not because I want your cash money but if we’re long distance, we both need to be able to fund our travels) -a respectful, funny, loyal, understanding, patient, loving, affectionate individual.
Beyond all that though, I am after a best friend; someone who will have my back no matter what. Someone who will accept me for who I am and won’t force me to change. Someone to enter my life and take the role of my partner (eventually) and join me on this rather wild ride called life. If you don’t give up on me, I wont give up on you. I am NOT looking for a therapist or care giver.
And yes, I can give the same back, and always will. I wont respond to any messages along the lines of ‘hru’; I wrote a long ass post about myself and I am sure you can muster a few more words yourself or to profiles containing inappropriate posts and comment history (especially if your comment history is littered with derogatory language).
I might as well move onto the main bit. My name is Anita and it’s very nice to meet you! I am a 29 year old eastern European living in the UK at the moment, in Bristol. Ive been in the UK since late 2007 and consider this country my home. I have gone back to my home country a few times but I always feel like a tourist there. I am a bit of a unit really, standing 6ft tall (them genes) and weighing approx. 13st (185lbs or 82kg; my weight keeps fluctuating a lot and I am not looking for any tips on how to lose weight). I have red dyed hair (more like ginger these days as I haven’t had a chance to get around dyeing it) and green eyes. I wear glasses as I’m blind as a bat; I also wear a lot of eyeliner so I guess you could shove me in the emo or goth category.
I am an introvert and always been one since I was a kid. Just preferred my own company or that of animals. I am not shy, if anything I can become quite gobby when it comes to standing up for myself or those close to me. I don’t need to ‘get out of my shell’ or ‘leave my house more’ so please miss me with these suggestions.
I am a vegetarian (not a deal breaker if you aren’t. your choice is to eat meat and mine is not to and that’s fine. Live and let live).
I love tea and coffee!!! Cant live without these. I need at least 2-3 cups of each a day
Snacks!!!! One of many reasons why I can’t lose weight. I also love fruit, if I had to choose my favourite one that would be a watermelon.
Bookworm (I haven’t read anything in a long time due to lack of time and brain not braining. I have a stack of books I need to get through eventually). Apolitical (now, now. I read the news almost everyday so I am aware of what’s happening in the world but I refuse to support any of the parties. They are all the same, just wrapped differently. They don’t care about the normal folk like you and I).
Animal lover (I have 4 rescued cats who are my life; I have also rescued about 50 of them. We either found them new loving homes or made them comfortable in their last minutes). No addictions here (occasional drink here and there; although I vape a lot).
In my spare time I like to go for walks, nap, watch tv, play sims 4, chill with my mum and cats, go out shopping with my mum and grab a coffee, listen to true crime podcasts and music (with Daughter being my fav artist lately), visit my brother in London, over eat, over think and read (trying to get to it).
I don’t game religiously or watch anime, which seems to be a common theme here.
As you can tell, I’m just a relatively boring and unremarkable human being; and I’m happy with it. Message me with your name, location and age. Tell me what made you message me. you don’t have to send me your pic straight away; I can assure you I wont until I’m 100% comfortable.
To show that you read all my ramblings, end your message with ‘toodlepip’.
And if you don’t like what you read…. Just move on. No need to call me names in comments or messages.
Thank you for your time; I will respond as soon as I can.
Good luck!

Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?

For those who need it, me included. While I’m still hurting often almost half a year after the breakup, but NC for only like half a month. (Which like many said, it does wonders, sucks and hurts but it will help you so so much.)
Some days I still feel like I made zero progress but to my stubborn self, remember this.

1. I can eat normally again, half a year ago trying to eat the smallest bite would make me nauseous, I had lost so much weight.
   
2. I can sleep and get up in the mornings, no longer am i bed/couch ridden almost the entire day as it would instantly exhaust me doing anything but laying down. Im no longer mortified going to bed at night cause i was so scared of being alone. Bed is cozy again, i dont fear it anymore.
   
3. While I still get many blips of memories thinking of them, those still giving me the pit in my stomach that has become almost a constant in my day to day… it has lessened so, so much. No longer does it consume me, it’s there, but I can enjoy things again.
   
4. I’m able to do my hobbies again, while still difficult at times, it no longer paralyses me where i go into a full-blown panic attack thinking of them.
   
5. My brain is a lot more quiet, it’s slowly becoming my own again. Yes they’re still there, but i can go hours with it being quiet. I miss them still, but that’s all part of it.. and that’s okay. They meant a lot to me they wont just vanish from my mind over night. But no longer does it consume me to the point i got headaches thinking about them, i saw them in everything i did, everywhere i went it drove me absolutely insane. Slowly a calm has returned.
   
6. I’ve learnt a lot about myself in this time, when i found myself at rock bottom of loathing myself, despising my very being.. i finally told myself its enough, i am enough. I made mistakes, we all do, slowly accepting that it’s okay. I finally went to therapy, while it isn’t the best match, it’s left me to really think about a lot. Looking up videos and posts to really confront some shit about myself, slowly working on those things for me, and me alone. I had lost myself completely, needing validation for my very existence.. the moment that vanished my life imploded. Really hurt, but hey, one learns.. and now we get to work on that. Little steps but we’ll get there.
   
7. Connected with family and friends in ways I’ve never done before. I’ve always been mortified about opening up about my feelings, never wanted to be a bother.. but man the amount of support you can get if you do. (And it shows you who really are your friends fusing it all) Also found out I cry really easy…. Something i supressed for almost 30 years.
   
8. Which brings me to the next, cry, cry when you feel like you need it, it releases so much stress almost instantly. Emotions are messy, the need to cry shows up at the most random of times.. even when you were doing so good but just let it out man…. It does so much. Honestly its almost funny at this point, reading similar experiences some have, one moment you’re like hell yea things are good, half a second later sobbing our hearts out and then we’re okay again. Just let it out, make it the ugliest snotter cry you can manage, it’s okay, release them bad feelings, its your body helping you get rid of it all. (And trust me i too wish i wouldnt have to do so this often, its been half a year im over it as well but i always feel so much better after.)
   
9. WHICH ALSO BRINGS ME TO THIS, i went to crying almost the entire day for weeks on end to maybe like… once a few seconds in a week.
   

All in all, are things still difficult, at times yes. But seeing as i’ve only really went NC for half a month… and just been suffering on breadcrumbs as they openly dated again right after dumping me, or telling me two weeks later they’re working out cause they gotta look good otherwise they’ll never find someone again. Which…. In hindsight now was really fucking shitty to say after they gave me false hope of ‘the door isnt closed’.
Lads and ladies and all inbetween, please be kind to yourself. You’re worth more than any relationship and so much more than any mistake you might’ve made, as some say.. you’re always stuck with you no matter what, be that person you look for in a relationship, be kind, console and love yourself even if its hard right now. You always got you, dont let anyone take that from you. In the end we’re all just weird little fleshbags walking on two sticks that have some weird thing in out head that makes us feel and think things that ain’t true. Quote i try to remember is that brains need adult supervision.. and we’re the adults in this situation.
It will hurt for a while, it sucks but you got this. From someone half a year into heartbreak my heart goes out to you all, may you all heal swiftly, but let yourselves grief, go NC as soon as you can even if everything tells you not to. It will help you heal so much faster, save yourself the pain of prolonging it.
I still have a lot to work on, but that’s because i neglected myself and my well being way longer than the relationship even lasted. Its time for me and myself now, time to give myself a hug and heal from past traumas and grow. Learn to be the person i was looking for, for me.
You will laugh again, you wont feel like the world is ending 24/7. Just be patient, take it day by day, slowly days wont feel dreadful anymore but just… normal days again.
Love you all, you got this, be kind to yourselves. Small steps, its not a race, we got this, and i’ll see you all on the flip side soon.

Okay this is a long story and I’m sorry if it rambles a little bit but I just want my story heard by more than just my friends because I am so over this whole ordeal. So let’s get into it.
For background, my ex (now m25) and I (f 23) started dating at the end of my junior year in 2018 up until the end of 2022 so about 4.5 years. The first year we were long distance because we obviously still lived with our parents but he lived close to Chicago and I was about 3.5 hours away closer to the Mississippi River. In 2019, after I graduated, he had bought a house 20 minutes away from my hometown so we moved in together. His parents and I got along pretty well, they were always kind to me and even helped us renovate our kitchen.
About a year into living together, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote a cute love note in his notes app that he could find later on as I did every now and then. After I was done, I noticed he had the Reddit app and decided to scroll through that because I always saw random Reddit posts that I thought were funny and wanted to see how easy it was to use. He had gotten a notification about a message on the app so I checked it for him (yes we had each other’s passwords and we trusted each other so I didn’t think anything of it). That’s when I discovered he had been talking to other women and flirting with them. I only got to two different message threads (there were more but I couldn’t look at them) before I broke down crying and woke him up to confront him. He started crying and told me it’d never happen again. I believed him and stayed.
The next year went by fine until we started to renovate the two upstairs bedrooms and the staircase. His mom kept trying to tell us what we should do with it and I kept telling her that we’ll figure it out as we go. My family has a lot of contractors so while I’m not a genius in renovations I know more than what a typical 20 year old, at the time, would know. One day when they were staying with us, something flipped in her. I can’t think of anything I did to provoke her outbreak besides telling her we weren’t going to paint the closets and I can’t even really remember what all she said because I just couldn’t believe how quickly her attitude towards me had changed. We argued back and forth about nothing really she just finally aired out all of the problems she had with me that were previously unknown to me. She called me rude, disrespectful, and to end it all she told me to fuck off. Now I will admit I wasn’t the nicest to her within the argument but I had treated her like my own mother during my relationship to her son. After the stupidest argument of my life, I was sent into the BIGGEST panic/anxiety attack I’ve ever had. I was crying uncontrollably, hyperventilating, and shaking. My ex had sat with me for maybe 5 minutes then ran off to go comfort his mom. Eventually he came back and told me to call my mom and have her take me to her house instead of standing up for me to his mom and asking her to leave. His bright idea was to take me out of my safe space, my home, and let his mom stay there instead. I was at my moms for a couple of hours until he came to pick me up and take me home because she had finally left. That was the moment I lost all respect for him and realized that he would never stand up for me in any situation. After that his parents pretty much disowned him just because he was still with me.
The next year and a half was rough. We turned into roommates that slept together. During the last year I took a nice long look back at our relationship and slowly realized I wasn’t happy. We never went on date nights, he never wanted to go do anything and whenever we did do something I felt like he wasn’t really present in the moments he was just doing it so I’d shut up about it. Throughout our relationship, he had the same after work routine. He’d come home, take the dog out to pee or leave him in the dog run for a little bit, shower, and then play his video games until it was bedtime. His headphones would be on and he’d be in his own world for at least 5-6 hours playing games. I’d make supper 90% of the time unless I wanted something on the grill, ONLY THEN would he cook. I even ended up doing my own social experiment with him because I realized I was the one initiating all physical contact (except sex). For 3 days I didn’t kiss him first, I didn’t hug him first, and I didn’t say I love you first. In those 3 excruciating long days we hugged once (initiated by me), and only said I love you once (also initiated by me). He told me from the get go he wasn’t a touchy feely person but that is one of my biggest love languages. I had to beg him pretty much to cuddle on the couch or come to bed to cuddle me to sleep.
When it comes to opening up to people im not the best at it and get emotional very quickly. So instead of sitting down and talking to him about it, I wrote him 3 different letters, 3 different times. I explained what he was doing and how it made me feel and how he could make it better. I’d even ask him if there’s things I needed to work on and he would always say he couldn’t think of anything. All 3 letters went in one ear and out the other. Nothing would change. After the second letter I threatened to leave and move back in with my mom but he said he’d changed and he did…. For maybe a week or 2. In October of 2022, he proposed to me in front of my family and the photographer that was taking our “family pictures” which I was later told was just a ploy for engagement pictures. I said yes because I thought “maybe he’s finally got it.” While trying to plan the wedding, I’d ask for his input on literally anything and I’d always be met with “yea sure it’s whatever you want.” I felt like he didn’t care about our special day and wasn’t taking it seriously. I felt like this was just a “shut up” ring so I’d stop dropping hints and he wouldn’t have to hear about it anymore. Finally I got tired of my letters not being taken seriously and feeling like his motheroommate, so I moved back in with my mom in November of 2022.
I will admit, how we broke up is kinda fucked up. I had tried to break up with him 3 different times and each time he’d convince me to stay and think about it. I did because it hurt me to see him hurt. While I still lived with him, there was a guy at my work who was leaving me not so subtle hints that he wanted me. At this point, I had given him the ring back (even though it was my moms engagement ring, and yes my parents are divorced so she hadn’t worn it in 10+ years), and told him I was done with the relationship but I still lived with him. I slept with my coworker so in my ex’s head I cheated but I’m still on the fence about it because I can see how it would look to him since I still lived with him. Pretty shitty, I know, and I’ve beat myself up about it for so long. I do wish I had waited till I was moved out to start seeing my coworker so there was no doubt in his mind that I was done and wouldn’t have hurt him as bad.
The 6 months after our breakup were pretty lonely for me. Going to sleep on an air mattress in my sisters old room because my mom turned my old room into my nieces toy room, sleeping by myself after 3 years of having someone else in bed with me, the hookups I went to just to feel wanted by someone even if it was just for an hour. Thankfully, I decided I was tired of the hookups and wanted something more serious and found my current boyfriend on Bumble. He’s such a sweet, caring, lovable goofball that doesn’t mind my ADHD/autism quirks and actually enjoys being around me. We clicked instantly and he said “I love you” after 2 weeks.
Now, the reoccurring issue I have is my family (mom’s side) still LOVES my ex. He’s still in all family group chats, facebook groups, and is still invited to all of the family get togethers. It makes me and my boyfriend so uncomfortable and awkward. My siblings and their significant others all agree with me that he shouldn’t still be hanging around almost a year and half later. My mom had told me, the first time I came to her crying about me wanting to leave him but not knowing what to do, “He’ll always be my son” and she has stayed true to that and even threw him a birthday party the same time as my brothers (their birthdays are close together) at my grandparents house. She still calls him “Uncle (name)” when talking about him with my nieces. My brother finally got fed up with another family situation and brought up the situation with my ex still coming around. My mom had told him “if my granny (who died long before I was even born) would roll over in her grave if she knew I kicked him out when his family disowned him because of (me).” Of course everything is always my fault even though I didn’t do anything but tell his mom we weren’t going to paint the closets. She is dead set that he is “her son” even though he’s my ex BUT if my grandma had done the same thing with both of my uncle’s ex WIVES, he’d throw the biggest hissy fit you’d ever see a grown ass man throw. Or even if she did it with my dad. I just don’t understand why it’s only MY EX that gets to keep getting the family treatment. Unfortunately, after we broke up, my ex and my uncle became BEST friends and will also stand up for him no matter what.
My best friend that I’ve had since 5th grade, got sick of him coming around and LOST IT when I told her he had brought his new girlfriend to my grandpas birthday party. She is in the same boat as me with not knowing why they’ve kept him around. She texted him a long rant and aired out everything she had wanted to say since we broke up. Nothing that she said was particularly nasty mainly just pointing out that it’s weird how he’s still hanging around and how shitty it is to bring your new girlfriend to your ex’s grandpas party. THE KICKER…. he couldn’t even stand up for HIMSELF. He was either with my uncle or screenshotted the text and sent it to him to read and MY UNCLE came to his defense. I will add that he (me ex) hadn’t had her number saved since he had blocked her on all social media around the time of the first letter I gave him because he thought she was behind a lot of why I wanted to leave, which is not true at all. Sooner or later, him or my uncle told my mom about it so she sent out a message in a newly created group chat with me, my siblings and their lovers about. “She didn’t know his new girl was going to be there”, “as far as everyone is concerned he is just as much a part of the family as anyone else”, and “whoever is texting him the long rant can stop.”
I haven’t yet but know I need to sit my mom down and explain exactly how I feel about this whole situation. I had written and printed out a letter for her explaining that I was just going to be done with that side of the family since they want to keep him around so bad and after my sister’s wedding I’d no longer be a part of the family but my boyfriend asked me if he could give me his thoughts and opinions on the letter. Of course I said yes because while it mainly effects me it does still effect him in a small way. He basically told me I need to sit down with my mom and give her the ultimatum of “me or him” before I just leave because in a few years if I didn’t do everything I could to try and change her mind or see it from my point of view I might regret it but if I at least try to talk to her and it boils down to me stepping away from the family I’ll know I’ve done everything I could before turning to my nuclear option. I agreed with him because I had had a similar thought after rereading my letter. I told my siblings about the letter and let them read it. They all agreed that it’s a well written letter and while they don’t want to see it happen, they don’t want me to be miserable and uncomfortable at all of the future family functions.
My sister and her future wife didn’t invite my ex to their wedding out of respect for me since I don’t think they’d want one of the maids of honor to be uncomfortable during their wedding. They just want love and good vibes all day. My brother feels like he’s being replaced by my ex since he and my mom do more together than my mom and my brother. My boyfriend feels like my family hasn’t even given him a chance since my ex is still around and no one really talks to either of us at family gatherings. As of me writing this we’ve been together for almost a year. My mom even makes a family calendar every year for everyone for Christmas and left out my boyfriend’s birthday but still kept my ex’s and still adds his pictures. She even put him on her 2023 Christmas cards. I’m honestly terrified to talk to her about everything because she has shown me time and time again she wants him there with no end in sight and I’m scared that if I give her the ultimatum, she’ll choose my ex. Maybe not by directly saying “I choose him” but more of like a “I can’t do that to him” and I know she won’t because she is stubborn and I’d have no choice but to choose my own mental health and wellbeing and have to leave the biggest support system I have because they care more about my ex than me and my feelings. I’m at a standstill right now with talking to my mom because I’m just so nervous and I know I’m either going to get frustrated and furious with her or I’m just going to break down and cry my eyes out while trying to have a discussion with her. This has been going on for almost 2 years and if I don’t talk to her soon I’m going to go crazy. Thankfully my boyfriend and I live about an hour away from our hometowns so I don’t have to worry about randomly running into my ex. If you’d like to read my “Family Resignation Letter” I can post it in the comments because, that too, is kind of long and reiterates some of what I put in this post.
I’m not necessarily looking for sympathy because I know I fucked up too, I just want to feel heard and maybe given some advice on how to better approach my mom when I finally grow a pair, bite the bullet and talk to her. I don’t know if it would be better to do it one on one or have my siblings there with me just for support and maybe add their feelings about the whole situation. I don’t want my mom to think we are “attacking” her but seeing how this has e/affected my brother I think he also needs to be heard because his thoughts and feelings are just as important. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read my dilemma. I’ll update after I finally talk to my mom but I’ve got no idea when that will eventually happen. Thanks guys 💜

I'm sorry for the long post and bad grammar and language.
I finally met my partner's female friend whom he considers a sister. He told me a week prior that she'd be in the city and since I was unsure when my work would commence, I was skeptical of meeting her but then I knew I would have to meet her at some point. The day of meeting her I had to meet a work client. While I was on the way, I asked my partner if she had reached he said she was probably not coming.
Soon after I was done with my work, I get a text from him to meet for lunch. We meet and have lunch and then he tells me his friend is here and we can meet her but she'll get done with work by 16:00 so we have to go and meet her at her hotel. Since we had time to kill, I picked up some cupcakes to give her. Once we reach the hotel I thought we'd meet at the lobby but it turns out she wanted us to come to her room.
We go up to her room she talks to us for 5 mins and then says that she wants to go for a swim. Her roomoverlooked the pool and my partner saw her and wanted to take a video of her swimming cause he thought she looked funny. I was shocked and expressed that that was lewd to do . After she was done, she got leg cramps I told her how my partner presses my legs and it does subside so she asked my partner to do it for her by standing on her foot. That was awkward for both me and my partner but he did it anyway by stomping her foot twice.
She then changed and we went for a walk where throughout it was just the two of them catching up and me tagging along like a dog. She wanted pictures taken, she and my partner didn't like the ones I took so he took pictures of her while bringing up some situation from the past that they shared so that she laughed and took some nice photographs. He doesn't take so much effort to take my pictures. She then wanted to eat at a bakery, and what she couldn't finish eating my partner finished for her.
While we were leaving she asked me what my thoughts on Obama was (mind you all this while I was not walking with them and so had no idea of what they are talking about) so I looked and my partner and she shut his mouth with her palm and said no dont nsay anything. I made up some nonsense because frankly it was awkward as hell and I wanted the evening to end.
After we departed I was raging and told my partner that I was annoyed by this meetup and his behavior disturbed me and I felt like a trailing dog with them. He could have spoken up for himself and not stamped his foot on hers (that was the only thing he found awkward in this entire meetup). I was so angry I didn't want to speak to him because he didn't acknowledge my feelings and was behaving like everything was normal. We argued and I said you need to have boundaries with your female friends which include her and another of his friend who is his former fwb whose house he has stayed at with other friends last year (who knew about their past and I didn't.)
He said he has told both of these friends in person and on call the following day itself that he wants to work on our relationship so they will have to take a backseat.
However to get him to do this we had to argue alot and say alot of bad and rude things to each other. After this I made list of non-negotiable things with regards to future arrangements for our life together like taking medicine for his adhd as doing majority of the housework really knocks the wind out of me. But he doesn't seem keen to do so. Ive tried talking to him but it only makes me more disappointed and angry. We've decided that we'll take a timeout and speak on Sunday if we want to be together or not. I do feel him putting a boundary with them has triggered him he thinks I don't trust him but all I wanted was not for my feelings to be dismissed and him to speak out in awkward situations with them.
You can also refer to my profile for a past incident incase you need more insight. My partner too has commented on that post so you could can have a look at his post and perspective too.
Tldr: Met my partner's female friend whom we've been having arguments about in the past (he even called me by her name once), in person. Felt left out, awkward and disappointed that he didn't enforce boundaries. After arguing alot, he said he has told them he'll be maintaining distance from them however it has made him bitter and me skeptical about our relationship.

Hey guys!!! I 27F have been very scared to post anything related to this whole situatio, idk why but I just wanted to now because it’s getting worse and I don’t know what to do!
my mom 51F and I have an okay relationship, throughout my childhood and my adolescent years I thought she was the best mom ever (dont we all) because she “put me first” as she says…but as I’ve gone through my 20s I’ve noticed behavior that seems to align with entitled parents and i wanna know if i‘m right…I guess!
For context I have cerebral palsy and take many medications. one is controlled. Oh and I’m nonverbal (this comes into play later) and while I have options of communication…just listen it gets good

• she got me a credit card, she wont let me use it, and she can see what I spend on it
  
• I have a trust fund that was supposed to be in my name when I turned 25, it has yet to be put in my name!
  
• she will not under any circumstances let me move out and get my own place…why? because she’s become attached to my cat, because inflation, and because she doesnt think i’m an adult…she still sees a 22 year old in college.
  
• speaking of college, she didn’t support me in my endeavors in my college’s dance program so I sought out that motherly support from my faculty advisor and favorite professor who I still consider my second mom (even two years post-grad)…because my mom didn’t support me I went to college for seven years with three major changes and a lot of wishing I had done things differently. my mom holds the second mom thing over my head even now.
  
• she doesn’t talk TO me or WITH me, she just talks AT me…what I mean by that is she doesn’t let me get a word in unless I have it pre typed and ready to go on a device…she will not hear me out otherwise, even in text fights she doesn’t care about my feelings
  
• when I was in school I STRUGGLED with undiagnosed ADHD, so badly that when I was finally diagnosed when I graduated I texted my advisor and told her and she was just like “oh (my name) I knew that and i’m sorry” etc etc. anyway, I mentioned getting tested for ADHD to my mom MANY times throughout even high school AND college, and she just chalked my inability to focus up to laziness and not putting enough effort in! My brother AND sister had been diagnosed before me!
  
• I have a degree in Dance, and it took me a year and a half to find a teaching position (that I LOOOOOVEEEE with all my heart and woul trade for anything) but my mom wants me to have a normal job (like a 9-5) which is funny because of ALL of my PT and OT appoiintments (PT got bumped up to 2x a week by my mother without my knowledge or consent) that fall during THE FUCKING WORK DAY….I don’t understan what a 9-5 would do besides make me miserable!
  

I feel like this is THE LONGEST post on this subreddit and I apologize, if you want more info just ask in the comments and I’ll be happy to oblige, I just want to end this here because I feel like I’m close to the word limit lol
I love THT, as so many of us do, so Morgan if you see this I’d appreciate your feedback too! Lauren, Justin, DAD…all of your feedback is appreciated!!
thank you ALL in advance!!!

I read a very interesting post about Misty's and Brock's degradation of talents. In it the people were discusing how Misty (the gym leader... ?) and Brock were so great battlers in their introduction, but jobbed ever since. Quoting the Pity Badges meme. Making this huge conspiracy about game bosses joining your team and becaming less of a competent fighter.
Thing is that Misty was not a gym leader, was not better than Ash, never defeated Ash in the gym battle and became much better than she was as time passed. And Brock, did not win and give Ash a badge out of pity. It was always a joke between friends.
Let's go with Misty first: She wasn't the gym leader in the anime. Not till her selfish sisters dumped it on her. They were the guys in charge. She only found out about the gym badges later on, also. Despite her bragging she was also not that much better of a trainer compared to Ash. Her sisters, sure. Not Ash. She grew up in a gym/aquarium... Sure. But they were in the same spot: begining their journeys. She wanted to fight Ash because her sisters wanted to give him a free badge. She didn't win either. Pikachu refused to fight a friend and, like her sisters pointed out, Ash would have won then and there. Then she and Ash lost one Poke each (2 her if we go by the no substitution rule), with her losing the ace. Then Team Rocket did their thing and Ash defeated them and saved the gym. Discuss all you want if he should receive a badge for outstanding acts (especially if he could win normally against the sisters), but the whole "Misty defeated him" is unfounded. Misty was not that great and grew into a better fighter later on. Enough to train Gyarydos and Psyduck.
Brock? You have the whole myth of Brock wining and giving the badge to pity Ash. Only if things were like that. Ash was winining that foght after the sprinklers. Then he believes Brock's siblings are his regrets and stops. Brock acknowledges that and gives him the badge, when Ash wanted to not accept. Pity badge? For Brock, maybe. Sure, Brock was better in the sense his Pokes countered Ash's but he wasn't this great trainer. He wasn't in it that much. Duty for his family is what made him have that role.
It's quite interesting what kind of tricks the mind plays on us... We heard so much something that it became truth for us. What other misunderstandings are common in the Pokemon comunity.

This post is considering income of Temporal (yellow) and Twilight (red) essences. While the main renewable source of Temporal essences is Dream Realm, I really am not considering Dream Fragments, to be clear.
Also if I mention "resources", I mean Temporal and Twilight essences.
Also the post is pretty long, so I made sure that there are headlines, if some of you are only interested in specific informations, you are free to find it easily..
..but in case, you will disagree with me and want to express it in comment, then please read section the "Final words".

What is the problem?

Shortly: there is little to no Temporal and Twilight essences renewable income, unless you play a lot and spend a lot.
Point is, that you should not be stripped of resources by choosing different pace of playtime or paying less than a whale or choosing characters that you like and are not "meta".
By spending less and playing less, only the acquisition rate should drop, but you should not lose the way to acquire the resource.
So I will eventually propose few suggestions, that shall not hurt Lilith's income, but improve quality of player gaming experience.
As confirmed by moderator: "The goal has always been for players to play at their own pace."
F2P, low spenders and eventually even mid-spenders, lose to any whale and are stripped of renewable sources of vital essences for most of the time (only at the very start and very end of season/preseason, they can compete, if they make it in time).
I believe, there should be options for both Temporal and Twilight essences as are for Tidal essence, the requirements to get them should be reachable, but the price should be impactful enough, so that it will not alter Lilith's income, yet improve player experience - by making them hard to get, but reachable.
Fairly of course, if you choose to pursue upgrade material, then you will be losing on some character pulls.
This is, of course, how Tidal (blue) essence is gained and how guild chest rewards work, but currently, the income from guild chests is so tiny, so that you are not able to make any character's equipment from level 5 to 15 in a year just by that. I am noticing, that with district ranking, it is somewhat easier to obtain the Temporal Essences. But still, I believe, that there is a room to improve.
For example:
Not everybody on my server made it to seasonal content in 42 days (or at least I think it was 42 days to reach season). And I am sure, that a fellow guild member, who is behind even payed for some boost. But got busy in real life, so he is behind and has no chance of getting even the 1 essence a day.
I do not think, that he deserves to be kind of punished for being busy in real life.. why can't he just progress at his own pace and why must he be starved of Temporal Essence?
...
Also please consider, the experiences of players on very first servers might differ, I am currently on server 439, season is just 3 days here. So even with extra effort on progressing as fast as possible, I only had like 5 days of being at 240 resonance and equipment level, so the F2P on server 1 might have different chance to compete.

Why should Lilith listen to it?

Currently, the essences are locked behind ranking. So you need both the time and money to get them.
If you get busy in life? Then sorry, you get nothing and you will not get anything in future either, because others are ahead.
This is not in alignment of "play at your own pace, get resources at your own pace", because you are not getting any resources.
It is only good if you want to frustrate players and make them leave the game.
...
I acknowledge, that the potential improvement should not have negative impact on Lilith's income, but if it is done properly, it will potentially yield better figures.
Firstly, by removing frustration of any non-whale player, will eventually lead to better retention of low and mid spenders and possible conversion of F2P into low spenders. Not to mention, less people will be quitting the game (spenders included).
Secondly, the experiences of whales should not be diminished, so that Lilith will not lose a whale in the proccess of improvement.
Thirdly, as with first point, whales want to score better than others, but if you detter enough F2P and low spenders, then you may eventually burn out a whale. So it is good to have players on both ends.
So that whales will clearly be above others and F2P and low spenders will have their slow chance to get, what they want.
I'd say, that this is a win-win-win situation. Happy Lilith, happy whales, happy F2P - better reputation of AFKJourney as a non-whale game, bringing new players, potentially spenders, long term-efficiency increase.

Highlight on the frustration among players

There are many posts on this subreddit, that express frustration and quitting the game. Highlighting the issue of being trampled by whales.
So here are some example posts from F2P:
https://www.reddit.com/AFKJourney/comments/1d770gg

• this post claims, that the player was willing to spend, but is constantly put under competition, which demotivates both him and his comrades and no longer sees the reason to spend, confirming, that the situation resulted into people quitting

https://www.reddit.com/AFKJourney/comments/1cdw2w7/

• this player is aware of slow progression and worse personal satisfaction in gacha games, but being unable to progress at all is dettering the player

But even a mid-spenders view it as a problem:
https://www.reddit.com/AFKJourney/comments/1cvvd0o

• the player is neither F2P, nor a low-spender, yet he still have problems getting the essences (he mentions it in point 3)

There are many more such posts.
That kind of concludes, that unless you are whale, you simply have no stable source of these essences.
The experience is frustrating for F2P to even mid-spenders. I am low-spender myself, but if there will be no improvement, I will also stop spending, since it has little to no point as the thing, that I am looking for is locked from me.
Not to mention, there is no assurance, that Lilith will not release a powercreep unit, that will trample Marilee and since I am willing to make her weapon above +15 even with the limited resources I get and will have her S+ this month. I would consider that a quitting point for myself, if no improvement in acquisition of essences will be made.
Because having Marilee is pretty much a deal-breaker in Dream Realm. And I am pretty much only investing into her because of it, so that I will eventually one day beat a whale and get these essences, so that I can focus on characters, that I like to play, which is not Marilee. The same applies to Reinier, although he has at least some cool mechanics, but still, I would prefer Scarlita.
...

Suggestions on improvements

I am acknowledging, that I am not aware of what Lilith earns currently by their strategy and so that final adjustments must be made by them, but I have multiple propositions, while only one shall be enough.
Endless mode adjustments
Daily acquirable reward for anybody, who deals some certain amount of damage, regardless of rating.
In practice: Meaning, that any player, who will score more, than the boss default rewards (which was around 20M damage if I recall off-season), will earn Tidal essences even if they are not in top 200. If they deal more than 30M damage, they will earn more Tidal and start receiving Temporal essences and perhaps after 50M damage, they will start to receive Twilight (although as I am aware, they are suppossed to be more available, than the Temporal).
This means, that yes, whales will still get much more, because they will both fulfill both the ranking rewards and the damage based rewards. Thus they should not be bothered.
I cannot see a flaw in this approach, unless the path to endless mode will be made in such a manner, that low spenders will barely reach it before season ends, although if it is balanced, it might enhance ratio of low-spenders with a vision of pursuing this opportunity.
Dream Realm Emporium adjustment
This may be either an alternative or additional mechanic.
It may require you to reach the endless mode, to gain access to spend Dream Fragments (green currency) to buy the essencess instead of A rank character shards. As of what price should have it, it shall be up to Lilith to decide, so it will not be discouraging people from whaling. But my opinion is that the price of making exclusive equipment from 5 to 15 should be less, than making a Supreme+ charater a Paragon IV character.
But it would be nice, if that option would persist through seasons. Possibly making it slightly more limited until you reach endless mode, so that effort would be neccessary, but not as limited as that you barely reach the end of season to just buy 20 essences and new season will be locking you the possibility for next 90 days or so.
It could be like, you can buy only 5 Temporal essences per month after beating all easy mode bosses and the number will increase to total 15 per month after beating all next difficulties and so on.
Perhaps reaching 50 a month on endless difficulties, but of course, the price must be that high, that the person will probably have to sacrifice all possible A character sigils for that particular month.
If the price will be set lower, I would no oppose of course, but I am proposing a solution, that will be the least damaging to Lilith's income.
Other shops adjustments
Tidal essencess are simply obtainable each day by diamons, so they are not a resource, that needs consideration. You simply choose, if you want a character pull or you get currency for character boost.
Currently guild coins seem to be pretty valuable resource, as they are bulletproof way of unlocking a Celestial/Hypogean heroes. So if there was an option to spend them to buy Temporal Essences by guild coins, I cannot see a flaw in that.
There would be a predictable/consistent way of getting them, but a significant trade-off between valuable units (cele/hypo) and upgrade essences. I do not see a way, that this would affect a whale experience negatively, since they have means to get their hypogeans/celestials regardless of guild coins and if they eventually max these units, they will be looking for that currency anyway - so it will also potentially fix a problem, where whale has maxxed out celestials and hypogeans and has no way of how to use guild coins. At least until next such unit gets released, but they will likely max it anyway soon, unless it is very underperforming unit.
This will however also solve additional problem and that is, when players simply want to enjoy the characters they like.
Also very simply, these essences can be added to normal emporium store once you fulfill some criteria. They will be more expensive than Tidal essences, but I also see no problem of them being available by just diamonds, because you will eventually still need to decide, if you want new characters (mostly the S ones, which are not in arena shop) or if you will prefer to invest into one specific character to be simply happy for it. Also a trade-off.
Adding exchange system
As I saw in current comment, it is apparent, that some players have no use for Tidal Essences anymore, so the currency is just collecting dust, perhaps after obtaining certain amount of Tidal essences, there could be an exchance option?
....

Some personal addition

Personally, I wish to just enjoy characters like Satrana, have Rhys for fun, I like how Kafra speaks, I kind of admire Soren lore-wise and his dedication, Valen is quite funny. But investing into these characters means kind of losing, because they are not meta. Unfortunatelly, Kafra being totally useless, unless he is fully invested and even after that, he is very niche. So "Hoot! In verity, investment of thee, mayst be of a trampled one!" ("In truth, yours investment may yield negative results.")
Seriously, I want Scarlita and not Reinier, Marilee is quite ok, but I would also prioritize different unit over her.
Yes, if I am supposed to be gaining the essences more slowly, I am ok with that, but I am not ok, that if I want to enjoy a game as I like, that even as a low spender I have no chance of gaining some specific currency. This makes me question, if this is even a game? Since games are supposed to provide fun, not frustration.
If it does not meet criteria of a game, then what is the point of playing it or even investing into it?

My viewpoint

I believe, it is also appropriate to state my viewpoint. I am not saying it from a perspective of a person, who is totally behind.
Even with just Esperia Monthly and Secret Travelogue I still made it to champion tier in arena and since the new season, I am still holding in top 100 server and top 500 district. But the price is, that I no longer enjoy the game as I must do all AFK stages manually, because they are too hard for autocombat. I tend to repeat the stages to find the best composition. I can beat enemies of much higher strenght. And I was in top 100 too before season started, when I caught up with whales, because they could not be too ahead of me after I reached resonance 240. But I barely made it in these 42 days.
But as I said, I no longer enjoy it. I am sacrificing my life for the sake of extra 3 Temporal essences a day, while acknowledging, that I will eventually be again pushed away and my income will be at most that 1 Temporal essence a day from being in top 75% of district and with some luck, I may get 3 essences each week from guild. I simply find it toxic and do not want to participate into this power hunt anymore. I just want a slower progression and slower rewards - not slower progression and no rewards.
Also, I am a guild leader and so far, my guild holds integrity, even after the guild creator stopped playing, since then I took the leadership and managed to deal with a fact, that each week we lost 5 members and not by them leaving the guild, but leaving the game. While I had like 15 stable members, there were like 30 players, that joined and that I had to kick for simply stopping playing.
So I would really be happy, if the situation with AFKJourney would be more stable, the player retention is terrible so far.
If I was not a leader, that tried to make our guild warm and stable and if I did not want to trample the hopes of others, who trust me as a person, because I personally message every member, if they face struggles and need help, if I see them behind, instead of kicking them out... if not for that, I would have quit the game already.
But I somehow feel responsibility to stay with these players and make the game better. So this is why I am not quitting, but investing into this post, which is not an easy task (you will understand if you will read "Final words").

Final words

This is my third post, considering this issue. I deleted the previous two ones for specific reasons. First post was not of a very high quality, so I decided to rewrite it.
But the second post was of optimal quality, yet doomvoted by a person with misleading counter-argument.
I verified with AFKJourney support, that his argument was misleading and breaking rules.
But the result was, that I kept getting downvotes on pretty much any reaction and the post itself was losing upvotes (it initially had good score), so I deleted it also. So this is another frustration I had to overcome.
The "opponent stated":
"The system is working as intended. This is a competitive gacha game, in other words, this entire system is their business model. Free to play and low spenders have a fundamentally different experience and that is by design. Artificially created adversity, or as you call it, a paywall, is meant to frustrate the player into spending money. There is nothing to fix because the system is not broken."
I was assured, that this is certainly not, what Lilith games wants.
I hope I am allowed to quote mod's statements:
"The intention is certainly never for f2p/low spenders to "feel like they can't play the game" - the game is intended to be accessible, playable, and fun for any player."
"There's certainly a level of intended progression, and the options players face is wait vs pay. If players feel especially impatient, they may feel incentivized to pay, but it's not an obligation players should face. The goal has always been for players to play at their own pace."
"That said, you certainly didn't deserve the downvotes for having an open and productive discussion."
...
By that I consider this a final version and last version. Also I apologize, but I will cease to make a response on any of your possible comments just because of my previous experiences. If you wish to discuss something specifically with me, message me personally.
Also as I cited both the opponent and moderator, I hope, that none of you will dare to break rule 5 this time - No Misleading Information.
So please be fair and constructive.
Thank you for reading.
And thanks to AFKJourney CS team for possibly forwarding it to DEVs. If it is somehow possible, I would be happy to hear, what the DEVs had to say about this issue.
...
Oh I got 6 hours of AFK rewards during writing of the post.. (compiling, rewriting, assuring of no misleading information, increasing quality of post, integrating new elements, checking typos). I hope that this time, there will be no opposition. I just hope for a better future of this game.

Idk what to do. There's so much going on,i genuinely wanna move out and be away from my family, specifically my sister. She has this guy she is seeing and they are not fit for each other at all. I can't count on my fingers how many times they fell out, cussing at each other, beating each other, threatening to kill each other. At first I felt bad but now is like...😐 I know it's hard to leave people sometimes but I'm getting tired of hearing, "im done with him trust me" to only see her coming from his house either normal or covered in bruises or a fucking knife in her hand...they fought once and she had to ealk home naked and honestly im done. I dont want to be associated with that anymore. Might sound heartless but gosh. Also dealing with the fear my sister might blackmail me if i dont give her what she wants because she founds my nudes on my phone and found out i sent them to my boyfriend at the time. Thats none of your business???? And she saved my nudes to her phone so she actually has proof and threatens to show our mom and my dad. For the simplest thing too. Like If I don't lend her my clothes she threatens to blackmail and I am FED UP.
she keeps taking my stuff without permission. I would be so excited to go out and have an outfit planned only to find out my sister took my clothes and destroyed it. Mind you, she's in her early twenties and WORKS. She works with boats and also does sex work or smt so she gets money. But spends it on drugs...doesn't even spend money on her KID...WHO ALSO NEEDS TREATMENT BECAUSE HE IS SPECIAL NEEDS.
I want to be skinny..er. I am skinny I know that but I just can't shake off that feeling that I'm not skinny enough. I should be proud if my body but im not. I hate my stomach. I hate the way there is fat cover my uterus to protect it But I should be happy for that but I'm not. I want a flat stomach and I want skinnier legs. I wish my skin was clearer, and that I didn't have such a oily face no matter what I do. I hate how visible my pores look. I hate how I look with my glasses but I need it. I Hate how I keep gaining and losing weight, funny right? Because I want to be skinnier so I should be glad I'm losing weight...but I was to be a certain size. It's tiring. I wish I was okay with my body I wish I was able to communicate better so that I didn't ruin my past relationship I just wish I was able to express myself really good. I wish I was good at something I wish I wasn't failing tests no matter how hard I try or how much I study. I wish I was able to reach my goal in life
I wish this person would just leave me alone. I feel bad for not liking them but they truely annoy me. I don't like their hugs, I don't like when they keep begging me for my food when I'm starving after not eating. I didnt like when they used to talk to my ex all the time like if they knew him for so long. I dont like them being near me I don't like my neighbour, he's a pedo who sexual assaulted me. I forgot about what happened but I still feel the affects of it and I get sick around him. I wish I could get diagnosed for ADHD. I know I have. I just know I do and I want a proper diagnosis. Or just to see what's wrong with me I wish I was normal. I wish I could sleep properly. I sometimes wish I wasn't lesbian because I always get judged and I hate it. I wish I wasn't so introverted because no one notices me. I like to be alone but not lonely. I feel lonely all the time
I honestly want someone to love me up and give me kisses and everything. Please. I dont want to be anxious all the time. I dont want reoccurring thoughts of self harm. I'm done

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening
I am CPC_Alice
Had a nice break?
U-Uh.... I was sick for a while and there was a lot of Mod work to be done and there was those situations that needed to be handled....
Yeah... just go on.
^T-Thanks
-------------------------------------------------------
So I was going back to my room after making some tea with honey. I sat down and I thought 'Hmn.... I better check on what's going on the sub before I go to sleep'. I was checking on some tools then I realized something.
'Hey, Alice, where is the weekly recap.'
My brain experienced a mini meltdown as I look at my current local time (its 5:59AM at the time of writing this part) and I realized.
I forgot.
FML.
It'll be less links (it takes a lot of time to actually do it) so I'll just get on with it ok? I swear that I'm usually a lot better with scheduling things on my activities! I SWEAR!
So. Doki's Wrestletuber 2024 happen. Day 1 is here. Day 2 is here. You must be living under a rock if you didn't know about it.... or is just not really up-to-date on the sub. People's minds were melting. Nijisisters/NDF too. A lot of their rrats on how Doki is isolated from her ex-Niji coworkers went up in smoke. It was good times all around.
Some people need to chill tho. Seriously. Don't harass anyone over silly things.
Hololive Q4 dropped. What does it have to do with Niji? Well, Hololive basically went "whatever Niji is doing with releasing wave after wave of new livers? Don't do that." When your near-peer competitor looks at what you're doing and they go "Nope, gonna do the opposite", alarm bells should be ringing out hard and shrill-like.
Doki is happy. Nice
So for those who don't know, Gura has decided to be more active in streaming things. Good for her. On that note, people have jokingly correlated her active state on how Hololive/Yagoo/Self-determined decided to release the "Tactical Shark" in response to Niji activity. On numbers alone, Gawr Gura absolutely mogs on a lot of NijiEN's activities single-handedly. Here is another example on how just a waiting room already has a lot more viewers than some active streams.
Not Niji related, but nice to hear stories breaks the unrelenting bad news. A FlaVR vtuber apparently got their 3D Concert. Good for them! It is actually quite inspiring to see a Vtuber that started as a meme from another Vtuber do this.
Hex Haywire is being weird. Like wtf dude. I also know he did more weird things. He also got suspended from Youtube. Links are going to be put later. Here is his stream being taken down. He did get suspended. Youtube confirming it.
More numbers. This time it is from the new Niji wave having less viewers than another Vtuber who debuted a day after him. Negligible huh...
Nijisanji EN retweets the call to ACCELERATE another wave of Vtubers. Like... one has to question as to what kind of people are actually going to audition anymore. One has to boggle to the kind of people who will unironically audition for it.
Vivi Brightshield... What an unfortunate soul. There is even a rrat of a stealth suspension over her "break".
"... but I missed my friend." was just such a statement that it makes people emotional. Be happy for them. Future Alice here: Here is a clipper of this? Maybe? I didn't watch, sorry.
Sayu had a new costume. Damn cute honestly.... A Donkey-Cat hybrid tho...?
People discovered that Sayu was involved with MiHoYo on Genshin Impact. I mean.... I knew about it when I gone down the crusade to figure out just who the main players are in the overall situation with AnyColoNijisanji. Yes, pre-Niji, she was involved.
If you don't know the context for this clip, watch WrestleTuber. He's getting the belt :P
More XTwitter mutual follows. NijiSisteNDF rrats in shambles.
Some funny memes. Added because of the amount of upvotes tbh. Made me chuckle.
Hololive flexes their 3D for their talents. One has to really wonder over things at this point.
100K Followers on Twitch for Michi. Good for her!
Here is someone making a small blurb as a retrospective on WrestleTuber and the state of things in relation with Niji/AnyColor.
More Numbers. This time it's Pippa's expired ramen cooking stream. Personal thoughts: Holy shit girl, why expired ramen like that? It tastes like soap? NO SH-T, YOU DIDN'T WASH THE SOAP OFF!. Missed the egg. I cook ok? I screamed.
Ah yes.... Raziel Warmonic has received a formal Cease and Desist Order from Nijisanji/AnyColor. Streisand Effect at full showing here. Did Nijisanji/AnyColor really think that doing this would make it better? I boggle at the mistepps that they KEEP ON DOING to themselves. Of course, the internet exploded. You want details? I WANT TO SLEEP DANG IT. Go look for it yourself. Youtube would do it.
Oh yeah. Nijisanji partnered with the NBA and attached their Vtubers to NBA teams. Hololive went with baseball and the Dodgers. AnyColoNijisanji and NBA (basketball) made a lot of people scratch their heads in confusion. Atleast Hololive/Cover with the Dodges (baseball) makes more sense because as a JP company, Baseball is very big in Japan. Honestly, it still makes me scratch my head.
So some people translated the JP talk on YahooJP Finance Message Board for the AnyColor stock. It was about the C&D.
Another numbers post. This time an analysis/meme on what kind of numbers and support you'll get if you join into Nijisanji. Why did I mention meme? Because I feel that having "support" in Nijisanji/AnyColor is an absolutely hilarious joke.
So Nijisanji looked over at Hololive. Saw FuwaMoco (rrat: they passed on taking on the pair of traveler guides) and the success they have. Decided and said "I want some of that". Hilarious memes ensued. Could they be any more transparent on their intentions? Also, apparently they are willing to take on minors for it. What the absolute f-ck. Future Alice: Apparently /vt/ has a time traveler. What the...
Some Venting from a Liver. Not much personal thoughts on it.
OffKai Maid Cafe with Robo Walk-arounds with Vtubers powered by V-Shojo. Must have been nice.
Horny on Main meme over Doki and Mint. It is about WrestleTuber.
For those who didn't know Bonnivier Pranaja, ex-NijiID, became 10Jin. Can't remember if it was mentioned before. Now you know.
A heartwarming art/meme. Feels good.
Remember that Nijisanji EN concert over at Anime Expo? You don't? I legitimately don't have it at the forefront in my head. But apparently, they still hadn't sold out the concert yet. Grim.
Doki x Youtooz figurine. I don't collect those things so I have no personal thoughts on it.
Calliope Mori is a musical guest over at Anime Expo. Holo and Niji is at the same con with music on the table. Considering the state of Niji's concert, one has thoughts.
More Numbers. MORE NUMBERS. It is a stream about the Dodges collab with Hololive.
Numbers of another kind. Doki is creeping up to her old sub numbers as Selen.
MORE NUMBERS. This time Vstats. Has pretty graphs too. At this point, is anyone really surprised? Negligible indeed.
Remember 10Jin? Yeah, The debut happen.
Matara and Mint at OffKai. Seems like they had an appropriate venue that it doesn't look depressing. Remember a certain other event...?
LIKE MORE AND MORE NUMBERS. I'm getting tired lol.
More Numbers with Graphs! This time its from some kind of Off-collab with Luxiem. Highlight is the "Negligible" amount of superchat income.
Ah yes, the OffKai + Phase Situation. I had to personally intervene on this. Still a Rrat so take it with a grain of salt. Then I had to be a bit more STERNER on a certain post. Ugh.
A meme about the AnyColor Q4 report. A generally accepted prediction is a BLOODBATH. Unless they outright lie or cook the books.
Nachoneko-mama showing off her work for Gura. Sometimes you really gotta just have something to smile about y'know?
A meme about a potential "Gura-Killer" going against Goobs and Mother Nature herself. Oh, there is no respawn mechanic btw.
10Jin and Michi Collab. Not much for me to say. Nice.
Nijisisters/NDF in SHAMBLES. Another rrat drowned like... -stops the "joke"-
The fans that Nijisanji threw away. Damn, it must sting to see them support your competition. LOL.
Nijisanji made an announcement. The schizos over at 4chan (which includes Nijisisters/NDF at this point) took it and made rrats without reading the Japanese for a massive hit of copium. Idiots.
Got a signature from Sayu on a card. Nice for OP! Time to frame that thing.
Handholding?! BETWEEN TALENTS?! WHAT?! /jk
ShyLily handling things a lot better than Nijisanji/AnyColor could. When a single person could do better than a whole corpo...
Need more rrat drownings? Here, have some more. This NijisisteNDF rrat is double dead.
Here is a reminder to not harass anyone.
Confusion and things with the Niji/AnyColorxNBA collab and some stuff on the YahooJP Financial Message Boards.
Clip on about a Mint and Sayu interaction. Didn't watch.. I want to sleep already...
Huh? A Clip of a now deleted stream. Possible rrat (considering it could be taken out of context).
... And that is it. Its... *squints* 8:11AM.
.... I'll just go to sleep.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes or things, I'm out of energy now. Yes, this is how long it typically takes.
No, I wasn't able to just "not link". I felt bad if I didn't.
Thank you everyone for reading this far!
Yours,
CPC_Alice
PS. I forgot my mobile game... I have to do the dailies *sob*

I'm sorry for the long post and bad grammar and language.
I finally met my partner's female friend whom he considers a sister. He told me a week prior that she'd be in the city and since I was unsure when my work would commence, I was skeptical of meeting her but then I knew I would have to meet her at some point. The day of meeting her I had to meet a work client. While I was on the way, I asked my partner if she had reached he said she was probably not coming.
Soon after I was done with my work, I get a text from him to meet for lunch. We meet and have lunch and then he tells me his friend is here and we can meet her but she'll get done with work by 16:00 so we have to go and meet her at her hotel. Since we had time to kill, I picked up some cupcakes to give her. Once we reach the hotel I thought we'd meet at the lobby but it turns out she wanted us to come to her room.
We go up to her room she talks to us for 5 mins and then says that she wants to go for a swim. Her roomoverlooked the pool and my partner saw her and wanted to take a video of her swimming cause he thought she looked funny. I was shocked and expressed that that was lewd to do . After she was done, she got leg cramps I told her how my partner presses my legs and it does subside so she asked my partner to do it for her by standing on her foot. That was awkward for both me and my partner but he did it anyway by stomping her foot twice.
She then changed and we went for a walk where throughout it was just the two of them catching up and me tagging along like a dog. She wanted pictures taken, she and my partner didn't like the ones I took so he took pictures of her while bringing up some situation from the past that they shared so that she laughed and took some nice photographs. He doesn't take so much effort to take my pictures. She then wanted to eat at a bakery, and what she couldn't finish eating my partner finished for her.
While we were leaving she asked me what my thoughts on Obama was (mind you all this while I was not walking with them and so had no idea of what they are talking about) so I looked and my partner and she shut his mouth with her palm and said no dont nsay anything. I made up some nonsense because frankly it was awkward as hell and I wanted the evening to end.
After we departed I was raging and told my partner that I was annoyed by this meetup and his behavior disturbed me and I felt like a trailing dog with them. He could have spoken up for himself and not stamped his foot on hers (that was the only thing he found awkward in this entire meetup). I was so angry I didn't want to speak to him because he didn't acknowledge my feelings and was behaving like everything was normal. We argued and I said you need to have boundaries with your female friends which include her and another of his friend who is his former fwb whose house he has stayed at with other friends last year (who knew about their past and I didn't.)
He said he has told both of these friends in person and on call the following day itself that he wants to work on our relationship so they will have to take a backseat.
However to get him to do this we had to argue alot and say alot of bad and rude things to each other. After this I made list of non-negotiable things with regards to future arrangements for our life together like taking medicine for his adhd as doing majority of the housework really knocks the wind out of me. But he doesn't seem keen to do so. Ive tried talking to him but it only makes me more disappointed and angry. We've decided that we'll take a timeout and speak on Sunday if we want to be together or not. I do feel him putting a boundary with them has triggered him he thinks I don't trust him but all I wanted was not for my feelings to be dismissed and him to speak out in awkward situations with them.
You can also refer to my profile for a past incident incase you need more insight. My partner too has commented on that post so you could can have a look at his post and perspective too.

I'm sorry for the long post and bad grammar and language.
I finally met my partner's female friend whom he considers a sister. He told me a week prior that she'd be in the city and since I was unsure when my work would commence, I was skeptical of meeting her but then I knew I would have to meet her at some point. The day of meeting her I had to meet a work client. While I was on the way, I asked my partner if she had reached he said she was probably not coming.
Soon after I was done with my work, I get a text from him to meet for lunch. We meet and have lunch and then he tells me his friend is here and we can meet her but she'll get done with work by 16:00 so we have to go and meet her at her hotel. Since we had time to kill, I picked up some cupcakes to give her. Once we reach the hotel I thought we'd meet at the lobby but it turns out she wanted us to come to her room.
We go up to her room she talks to us for 5 mins and then says that she wants to go for a swim. Her roomoverlooked the pool and my partner saw her and wanted to take a video of her swimming cause he thought she looked funny. I was shocked and expressed that that was lewd to do . After she was done, she got leg cramps I told her how my partner presses my legs and it does subside so she asked my partner to do it for her by standing on her foot. That was awkward for both me and my partner but he did it anyway by stomping her foot twice.
She then changed and we went for a walk where throughout it was just the two of them catching up and me tagging along like a dog. She wanted pictures taken, she and my partner didn't like the ones I took so he took pictures of her while bringing up some situation from the past that they shared so that she laughed and took some nice photographs. He doesn't take so much effort to take my pictures. She then wanted to eat at a bakery, and what she couldn't finish eating my partner finished for her.
While we were leaving she asked me what my thoughts on Obama was (mind you all this while I was not walking with them and so had no idea of what they are talking about) so I looked and my partner and she shut his mouth with her palm and said no dont nsay anything. I made up some nonsense because frankly it was awkward as hell and I wanted the evening to end.
After we departed I was raging and told my partner that I was annoyed by this meetup and his behavior disturbed me and I felt like a trailing dog with them. He could have spoken up for himself and not stamped his foot on hers (that was the only thing he found awkward in this entire meetup). I was so angry I didn't want to speak to him because he didn't acknowledge my feelings and was behaving like everything was normal. We argued and I said you need to have boundaries with your female friends which include her and another of his friend who is his former fwb whose house he has stayed at with other friends last year (who knew about their past and I didn't.)
He said he has told both of these friends in person and on call the following day itself that he wants to work on our relationship so they will have to take a backseat.
However to get him to do this we had to argue alot and say alot of bad and rude things to each other. After this I made list of non-negotiable things with regards to future arrangements for our life together like taking medicine for his adhd as doing majority of the housework really knocks the wind out of me. But he doesn't seem keen to do so. Ive tried talking to him but it only makes me more disappointed and angry. We've decided that we'll take a timeout and speak on Sunday if we want to be together or not. I do feel him putting a boundary with them has triggered him he thinks I don't trust him but all I wanted was not for my feelings to be dismissed and him to speak out in awkward situations with them.
You can also refer to my profile for a past incident incase you need more insight. My partner too has commented on that post so you could can have a look at his post and perspective too.