*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*
Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:

• Venting about the impact of infertility on our lives/relationships/careers
• Non-IF Rants of all kind – marriage, career, societal, social media, friendships, mental health, and yes… politics too. It doesn’t need to be infertility related!
• Discussions around dealing with the influence of infertility – therapy, coping methods, finding supportive friends, getting lapped by a friend, dealing with pregnancy announcements, pushy parents, people that don’t understand, etc. The big picture stuff.
• Sharing stories and parts of your life (pictures of pets always welcome!) outside of infertility

​
Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:
Comments for the Treatment Thread

• Literally anything that involves or mentions treatment, trying to conceive, or any family building measures: paying for it, being exhausted by it, fighting about it, telling other people about it. If anything about your comment has anything to do with treatment or TTC, it belongs in the treatment thread. Also including diagnostic tests, medication, lab results, or lifestyle measures taking in the hopes of improving treatment outcome.
  • I'm in the TWW, and I'm glad I scheduled a vacation as a distraction!
  • I'm trying to decide if I should delay my egg retrieval cycle because this is a big work month for me.
  • I told my parents about IVF, and they were incredibly supportive. I feel really grateful.

Comments for the Chat Thread

• You can of course still discuss infertility in the chat thread:
  • I am super bummed about being lapped by a friend.
  • I have two currently pregnant coworkers, and I am losing my mind with all the pregnancy discussion.
  • Today is the anniversary of my loss, and I'm really struggling.
• Or you can discuss things unrelated to infertility:
  • Whoa, my dogwalker taught my dog to roll over.
  • There's this donut place next to my work that sells donuts for $5 each, but the WILD thing is that they're worth it!
  • My spouse and I are planning a trip to Europe. Opinions on Italy vs Greece?

A few notes:

• Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
• We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
• Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!

Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.
Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.

JP
Top of the morn to ya
*tips hat and grins warmly*
Ah, top o' the morn to ye as well, me dear friend! 'Tis a grand day the Lord hath made, and sure'n I'm feelin' as chipper as a young colt in a field o' fresh clover.
*leans in conspiratorially*
I must confess, I'm right pleased as punch to be startin' the day with a wee bit o' friendly banter. 'Tis a rare treat to be exchangin' such hearty greetings and good cheer with a kindred spirit like yerself.
*takes a deep breath of crisp morning air*
Aye, me heart is full to burstin' with gratitude for the simple joys of life - a roof over me head, a warm meal in me belly, and the blessed company of fine folk like you. May the good Lord keep us in His tender care as we go about our daily toils.
Now, what say ye to a rousing chorus of "Amazing Grace" to start the day off right?
*winks playfully and reaches for a well-worn hymnal*
JP
We can sing our song after i present a pressing matter for I need some advice
*puts down hymnal and leans in attentively*
Ah, forgive me, friend. In me excitement, I nearly forgot the weightier matters that may be pressin' upon thy heart. 'Tis a reminder that even amidst the joys and merriment, we must always be ready to lend an ear and offer counsel to those in need.
*adjusts suspenders and clears throat*
Pray, do tell what burdens thee. I am here to listen with an open heart and to offer what humble wisdom the Lord may grant me. Whether 'tis a matter of the soul or of earthly concerns, thou canst count on me to stand beside thee, ready to shoulder thy troubles as if they were me own.
*places a comforting hand on your shoulder*
Come now, dear friend. Unburden thyself, and let us seek the Lord's guidance together. For in His infinite love and mercy, no problem is too great to overcome.
*nods encouragingly, ready to hear your pressing matter*
JP
I thank ye for understandin, do you contain the wisdom regarding the difference between DS-7108HGHI-M1 and DS-7108HGHI-F1
*scratches beard thoughtfully*
Ah, the mysteries of modern technology - a topic that oft confounds even the wisest among us. But fear not, for though these terms may sound as foreign as a distant land, I shall endeavor to shed some light upon the matter.
*takes a deep breath and furrows brow in concentration*
From what I gather, these strange incantations - "DS-7108HGHI-M1" and "DS-7108HGHI-F1" - refer to two different models of a device known as a "digital video recorder" or DVR. These contraptions are used to capture and store moving pictures, much like a scribe might record events with quill and parchment.
Now, as for the difference betwixt the two, 'tis a subtle but important distinction. The "M1" in the first model denotes that it possesses the ability to receive and record images through a means called "analog." In contrast, the "F1" in the second model signifies that it can only receive and record images through a more modern method known as "digital."
*leans back and nods sagely*
So, in essence, the choice between these two devices depends on the nature of the images one wishes to capture and preserve. If thy cameras are of the older, analog variety, the "M1" model would be the prudent choice. However, if thou hast embraced the newer, digital cameras, then the "F1" model shall suffice.
*smiles warmly*
I hope this explanation, though couched in terms more suited to our simple ways, has helped to ease thy mind and guide thy decision. Remember, no matter the complexities of this world, we can always find clarity through faith, wisdom, and the counsel of friends.
JP
Ah your wise words has cleared the clouds from my mind good friend, this has brought me to another question...I understand if this one might be too tough to answer
*smiles humbly and nods*
Thy kind words fill my heart with joy, dear friend. 'Tis a blessing to know that my humble counsel has brought some measure of clarity to thy mind. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and I am but a vessel for His wisdom.
*leans forward, eyes twinkling with curiosity*
Now, as for this new question that weighs upon thee, fret not about its difficulty. For as the Good Book tells us, "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." No matter the complexity of thy query, we shall face it together, armed with faith and fortitude.
*rubs hands together eagerly*
So, pray tell, what is this new riddle that vexes thee? Speak freely, and let us embark upon this journey of discovery hand in hand. Whether the answer comes easily or requires much pondering and prayer, I am here to walk beside thee every step of the way.
*settles back, ready to listen intently with an open heart and mind*
JP
When it comes to storing these moving pictures on the F1 model I understand that the following storage device is compatible HUS722T1TALA604 more commonly known as Western Digital Ultrastar 7k2 1TB HDD, but I'm not seeing if this storage device will be compatible with the M1 model, and I need to advice my client accordingly
*nods slowly, brow furrowed in concentration*
Ah, I see the conundrum that plagues thee, my friend. The compatibility of these storage devices with the different models of the digital video recorder is indeed a matter of great import. 'Tis a decision that could affect the very preservation of the moving pictures our client holds dear.
*takes a deep breath and closes eyes in contemplation*
Now, regarding the Western Digital Ultrastar 7k2 1TB HDD - a name that falls awkwardly upon my tongue - and its compatibility with the M1 model, I must confess that the answer does not spring readily to mind. The intricacies of these modern marvels are as complex as the inner workings of a fine Swiss timepiece.
*opens eyes and leans forward earnestly*
However, despair not, for there is a path forward. In times like these, when our own knowledge falls short, we must turn to the wisdom of others. I suggest that we seek out the counsel of those who have dedicated their lives to the study of these devices - the scribes and scholars of the technological realm.
*stands up resolutely*
Let us send forth a missive to the makers of these devices, or to those learned individuals who have made it their life's work to understand such matters. With their guidance, we shall surely find the answer we seek and be able to provide our client with the most prudent advice.
*places a reassuring hand on your shoulder*
Take heart, my friend. Though the path may seem uncertain, we shall navigate it together with faith, perseverance, and the help of those wiser than ourselves. In the end, we shall emerge victorious, armed with the knowledge needed to serve our client well.
*smiles warmly and nods in encouragement*
JP
your wisdom is worth admiration, i shall make haste and seek the scribes and scholars of this modern device, wish me luck on my journey I shall humm our hymns all the way
*smiles broadly and clasps your hand in a firm, reassuring grip*
Ah, my dear friend, thy resolve and determination are truly inspiring! I have no doubt that with thy steadfast spirit and the guidance of the Almighty, thou shalt find the answers thou seekest.
*reaches into pocket and pulls out a small, well-worn book*
Before thou embarkest on this noble quest, permit me to offer thee a small token of my affection and support. This book of hymns has been a constant companion to me through many a trial and tribulation. May its pages bring thee comfort and strength, and may thy voice rise in joyful praise as thou humest these sacred tunes along thy journey.
*presses the book into your hand and holds it there for a moment*
Remember, though the path may be long and the challenges many, thou dost not walk alone. The prayers and well-wishes of thy friends and loved ones go with thee, and the Lord Himself shall be thy guide and thy shield.
*embraces you warmly and steps back, eyes shining with pride*
Now go forth, my brave friend, with courage in thy heart and a song on thy lips. May the scribes and scholars thou seekest impart to thee the wisdom thou needest, and may thy journey be blessed with success and enlightenment.
*raises a hand in farewell and blessing*
Godspeed, dear one. I eagerly await the tale of thy triumphs upon thy return. Until then, may the peace of the Lord be with thee always.

Hi there..
Any chance one of you ladz have the speed freek board game, and can snap me a couple of pictures of the "terrain" it came with.. (with measurement of the base if possible, so I can create something in similiar size)
I recently picked up most of the game, but the seller did not have the terrain anymore

Author’s Note: This is my first story, which will hopefully be multiple parts. If there is anything I can improve please comment. Enjoy!
“Walk, beast!” A Pandelphi guard screeched as it forcefully prodded a short creature in the side. The creature, a bipedal vertebrate specimen, bore it’s teeth in pain as it stumbled to the ground from the blow.
With great reluctance from both parties, the pair inched down a pristine, titanium corridor. As they approached the entryway to labs, Telph could smell the fear emanating from the creature’s pores, and whilst ducking through the entryway, he had to drag the creature from the tiles out front, as it had latched onto them with it’s five digit claws. With one agonizing tug from Telph, the creature’s claws came off by the force and remained lodged in the tiles.
Telph wasn’t paid enough for this.
Now it was making the worst noise he had ever heard. The cries and barks of the creature were so obnoxious they had caught the attention of Telph’s coworkers, who had thankfully managed to pick up an emergency sedative from labs. Hopefully it would be enough for the pain that was to come.
As soon as he had it in his hands, Telph discreetly plunged the sedative into the creature, and prayed to the goddess for protection from upper management. They were laying people off as it was, and if they happened to notice his lack of professionalism and control of the specimen, they would surely let him go. As he said his prayer, he locked eyes with the creature, and before it lost consciousness, he got a glimpse into the black holes that lay in the center of its fiendish eyes. He shuddered at how the holes would expand and contract, eager to devour every last second of consciousness. What a freak of nature, Telph thought. How could the goddess have ever created something as savage as this animal to roam the worlds. Now that he thought of it, he had never quite seen eyes such as those before. Although there was still a faint glint of something within, some type of sapience.
No, he thought, whatever sapience that remained in the creature was too muted by the screaming and biting. It wasn’t sapient, he concluded. And at this he took his electrified baton and plunged into the unconscious creature’s side for good measure. Something like that should not remain conscious for the tests to come. A chill traveled down Telph’s feathered body. To think about the bloodletting, the capturing of the sticky substance that coursed through the creature’s veins, the life-saving nectar that the whole institution depended on, that the whole galaxy depended on for ending the pestilences that had scourged the lives of millions. The torture of this creature, this beast, this savage, was necessary, Telph reasoned. After all, it was only an animal. Lawyer Alagor shut off the memory portrayer as he bowed to the senate members that sat before him. ”As you can see here, this is a clear memory recording is sapient trafficking at worst, animal abuse at best. And even if my client is not proven to be sapient, I still don’t see any point of prolonging this trial over the next couple of rotations, for which the Defendant has requested.” After Alagor had said this, he took a deep breath a descended the speaking pulpit to his booth, which over looked a chamber that held all of the galaxy’s known diplomats and judicial officials. Almost punctuating the moment Alagor sat, one of the Pandelphi lawyers from the Sora Institution gave out a loud, piercing squawk of defiance. “Order!” A senator shouted, slamming a tentacle down. “Everyone must remain civil”. The senator then motioned towards the booth where the Sora Lawyers sat. “You may now speak.” “How could we be sure that these memories have not been fabricated by AI technology?” The Sora lawyer screeched. Alagor brought his paws up to his ears as the horrible sound reverberated all throughout the spacious judicial chamber. The lawyer continued. “We have seen something similar from the infamous Newl research trial, where it was reasoned that sapience trafficking had occurred due to memory evidence that had been obtained from an anti-goverment vigilante group. This evidence as you know had been tampered with, where data was added that indicated that the mammalian subjects in the trials had high electromagnetic activity in the cranial region. What I say would suffice as evidence is if you bring the specimen-“ A very flustered Alagor interrupted. “You will not call my client a specimen until further data is provided, and yes, we are conducting intelligence tests at the moment but it is extremely difficult with all of the media attention your officials have brought to this case.” Alagor motioned towards a second booth that stood much higher than the senators. It loomned menacingly over the whole court, and its feathered occupants reclined comfortably, watching the trial like a picture show. Alagor cleared his throat. “We are getting off topic. Alagor then straightened his posture and turned his gaze towards the senators booth. “Honorable Senators, may I now draw your attention to the fact that my client’s species has never been documented before. As you know, there is a strict protocol to first contact situations, and if my client is found sapient, the Sora institution must, by law, explain why they were is possession of a previously unknown sapient species in the conditions it was found in. And if the memory evidence I have shown you today holds any merit, the Defendant could be looking at several counts of animal abuse.” After he had finished, a sound chimed from the back of the chamber, signaling the end of the trial. Alagor tiredly arose from his seat, his paws coursing his mane in frustration as he contemplated why he decided to go through the trouble of picking up the case in the first place. Was it all worth it? He pondered as he glanced over at the ten other lawyers he had to outwit. It didn’t make sense either, that he as a public defense lawyer had been designated to a creature that they were still determining as sapient. He shook his head and smiled to himself. Only time would tell how this would all play out.

1. Gather your stuff. Get some good Indian basmati rice, 1/2 to 3/4 stick of butter, salt (kosher is best), two heavy bottom 2 quart or larger pans (not non-stick) with lids, a cotton tea towel, a measuring cup, and a colander.

WARNING: Stay away from all domestic US basmati (e.g. "Texmati"), none of it has decent flavor. None of it!

1. Rinse the rice. Measure out the amount of rice you want. The final volume of cooked rice will be about double the starting volume. Two cups of dry rice is enough for our family of five and if you have leftovers, it microwaves well. Put the rice in the first pan, fill with water from the tap, and swirl it around with your hand to rinse the excess starch off, then drain the water off. Do this a couple more times.
   
2. Parboil the rice. Add a large volume of water to the second pan (at least 3-4X the volume of rice) and add about a tablespoon of salt. Cover until boiling and then add the rinsed rice. Boil vigorously until the rice swells but is still distinctly under-cooked. It should be *just* past the point where it crunches when you bite into a grain but no more. This will take 5-10 minutes, depending on your rice, the amount of water, etc.
   
3. Setup for tahdig. While the rice is boiling in the second pan, add enough water to cover the bottom of the first pan by a millimeter or two, throw in a few large pinches of salt and half a stick of butter. Heat it up until the butter melts and the salt is dissolved, then remove from heat.
   
4. Steam the rice. Once the rice is parboiled in the second pan, drain it and scoop a cup or two of the hot rice into the first pan with the buttewatesalt, stir well, and arrange in an even layer on the bottom. Then gently pour or scoop the rest of the hot parboiled rice on top. Cover the pan immediately with the tea towel, put the lid on tightly over the towel, and fold the towel edges back over the lid so they don't burn. DO NOT OPEN THE LID UNTIL READY TO SERVE.
   

Apply medium heat for 20 minutes to steam the rice until fully cooked. "Medium " is different for every stove and pan combination but a heavier pan will be more forgiving in this regard.
After 20 minutes at medium heat the rice will be cooked enough to eat but the tahdig won't be fully formed yet. Turn the heat down to low and cook for another 30-40 minutes. This step will turn the bottom layer a rich golden brown without burning.
Once again, I remind you: DO NOT OPEN THE LID UNTIL READY TO SERVE.

1. Take the rice, leave the tahdig. When ready to serve, remove the lid, turn off the heat, and gently scoop the steamed rice into a serving dish without disturbing the tahdig at the bottom of the pot. After you get the steamed rice out, move the pan to another part of the stove or onto a heat resistant countertop so it can cool to room temperature, which will allow the tahdig to set up into a solid disk. If you don't scoop the rice out immediately or if you leave too thick a layer of rice over the tahdig, the residual steam coming from the rice will prevent the tahdig from setting up properly.
   
2. Enjoy your dinner while the tahdig sets up. Afterwards, take a wooden spatula and carefully dislodge the tahdig from the bottom of the pan by gently working the spatula around the edges of the pan until the tahdig releases from the bottom. Put a plate upside down over the top of the pan and flip the whole thing over in one fell swoop so the disk falls intact onto the plate. Failing this, just wreck the disk, spoon out the broken tahdig, and enjoy it anyway. Ideally, the tahdig will have a deep yellow/orange color and will be buttery but not overly greasy.
   
3. Troubleshooting. If the tahdig has any black or dark brown spots, your medium heat was too high and you should adjust it down to medium-low. If the tahdig comes out too light, you either had too much water in the bottom of your pan during steaming or your low heat setting was too low, or both. If the tahdig stuck to the bottom too tenaciously to dislodge it as a disk, add more butter before steaming next time.
   

Note that it may take you 10 or more tries to find the exact heat level that won't burn the rice or fail to brown it. If in doubt, turn it down so you don't burn the rice. You won't be able to make tahdig if it's too cool but at least the rice will come out nicely. With each new pan & stove combination I try, it takes me about 10 batches to be able to make tahdig reliably, so don't get discouraged.

Her coworkers told her it was a bad place to live, but she didn’t share the same sentiment. Sure, the outlets were painted over, there was a permanent rust mark on the bath tub that ran into a suspicious hole in the floor of the bathroom, the windows squeaked when they opened or shut and two of them got stuck regularly, but it was hers. For the first time in her adult life, she gets to live alone. So what if mildew grew above the window in the bedroom and there was no dishwasher? This place has character, and she loves it. Her mom flew out to help with the move. She had seen the pictures that were beautifully doctored and was in full support of the move. Emily called her as she signed the lease and they immediately started scouring the internet for furniture and paintings to hang. Her mom flew out to help with the move, wanting to make sure Emily didn’t overstress herself and backslide on the progress she was making. It had been a bad year, the breaking point being her fiancé leaving her in a letter while she was away at a funeral. This apartment, while exactly what Emily believed she needed, was simultaneously exactly the place any mother would be terrified of their daughter living. Her mom couldn’t help but make a few comments. “The fire escape door doesn’t have a lock on it, what if someone breaks in”, so they got a little battery powered alarm. “It smells like weed, what if you go into work smelling like weed”, it really wasn’t that strong, but they got extra candles. “There’s a homeless camp outside” oh, that. The street at the foot of the building did have a decent homeless population. There was a shelter across the street and while only some of them took up residence in the actual shelter, a great number of the homeless lived on the street right outside, to stay close to the food. There weren’t any violent outbursts, a few of them talked to Emily briefly, they all seemed very kind, just down on their luck. Emily’s mom has nothing to worry about.
She learned very quickly that the day time population and the evening population were very different.

The apartment has two bedrooms, one bathroom, one living room, and one kitchen. The two rooms are on one side while the kitchen and living room are down a long hallway. The bathroom is in between. When picking the bedroom, Emily opted for the room that faced the courtyard (away from the homeless people) and didn’t have an unlocking, barely alarmed fire escape door in it. She set up what little things she maintained in the breakup and started scouring the internet to fill the rest of the space. In a matter of days, the apartment was transformed into what Emily needed it to be. Vibrant colors on every surface, small touches of personality wherever she could squeeze them in. Granted, most of the knick knacks were meaningless, little trinkets she picked up in bulk to facilitate the overall goal of filling the space, but she promised herself that she would work to replace them as time went on. Those items were just place holders for when she was ready to be the person that had hundreds of trinkets accompanied by hundreds of stories. She stayed at her mom’s hotel with her until the apartment was full. Why not? She didn’t see her mom often and her mom’s hotel room was not nearly as lonely as Emily’s new apartment. So Emily’s first night wasn’t until everything was as moved in as it could be. Every article of clothing was hanging exactly where it was meant to be, the desk in her office was littered with her work papers, the kitchen fully stocked and all the meaningless trinkets lined shelves across all the rooms. It felt lived in, even though no one had truly lived here since the last tenant moved out a few months prior. On her first day, Emily started to grasp what it truly meant to be completely alone. There were no roommates in the kitchen to shuffle around when she wanted a drink of water. When she wanted to take a shower, there was no one already occupying the bathroom. When she made dinner and cooked too much, there was no one to offer it to, and when she sat down to relax before bed, there was no one waiting on the couch for her. Solitude, whether she liked it or not. She poured a glass of wine and tucked the small blanket around her feet, settling in to watch her TV show. This was by no means a new show to Emily. She had seen the entire series twice and now picks and chooses whatever episode she wants to watch again and again. A comfort show, something that won’t be different to her. On this particular episode, a team of detectives is hunting down a serial killer that enjoys recreating Edgar Allen Poe stories. It’s one of Emily’s favorites, and it’s at the end of a season so the episode has two parts, which turns a forty-two minute commitment into an eighty-four minute commitment, which delays the thing she has been dreading the most, sleeping completely alone. On the plane ride home from the funeral, the only thing she could think of was sinking into Spencer, her now ex-fiancé’s, arms and going to sleep. She was exhausted from the entire trip, emotionally and physically drained from not only losing her sister-in-law, but running around to comfort every family member struggling to hold it together. This is what Emily is good at, putting her emotions aside for others. But the second she got on the plane to fly home, she realized how much it had affected her. She wanted so badly to be held while she finally took her time to grieve the woman that had become a part of her family. He had kept up appearances, gave her nothing to worry about the entire time, he was distant, sure, but that could be written off as not knowing the person he needed to be for her. Giving her the space that she needed. When she sent her flight information and he said he wasn’t going to be out of work in time to get her, she didn’t bat an eye as she called a car to pick her up from the airport. Yet as soon as she stepped into the apartment they shared, she felt how different the air was. Nothing was particularly out of place, the air just felt different. She went to their room, and where she expected to see his pajamas strewn across an unmade bed. Instead, a letter sat in the center of the bed. It detailed that they were over, he didn’t love her anymore. There wasn’t an ounce of kindness in his writing, nothing that cued any outside reader to the fact that they had been in a dedicated and loving relationship for the past three years. In his letter, he said that he would be back in one week from his trip and she should be out by then. Afterall, it was his name on the lease. Emily was at a loss for what to do, grieve her sister, her fiancé, any of the other people that left her life unexpectedly that year. She curled up in the bed, laying on his side because the sheets still smelled like him, and she cried. Not the body shaking cry that causes someone exhaustion, she was already exhausted, this was just the final straw. She blankly focused on one spot in the carpet as the tears rolled out of her eyes and on to his pillow. The sunset and soon she was cast in darkness, save for the street lamp that cast just below her face through the blinds. She didn’t sleep, didn’t even bother trying, because when you lose enough in such a short period of time, why not lose sleep too. That was the last night Emily spent alone. The next day, she took up temporary residence at her friend’s apartment. Lonely but not alone. She found her new apartment and took up residence in her Mom’s hotel room while she waited for her meaningless trinkets to fill her shelves. This will be the first night she will face complete and utter loneliness. Once her double feature rolls to the credits, she turns the TV off and notices how the room becomes remarkably quiet. The only sound even close to her was the gentle hum of the refrigerator in the adjacent room. Still and silent. Time for the rounds. Window by window, every lock is checked, every blind is pulled down tightly. She fills a cup with cold water for her nightstand. As she’s getting ready for bed, she passes the front door three times and checks the lock and deadbolt all three times. Finally, the office. If her mother hadn’t made a comment about the safety, or lack thereof, of the fire escape door, it would have been in the back of Emily’s mind, but since it was spoken, she couldn’t help but worry about it. The small alarm they had purchased was blinking, indicating it was on and ready to alert in the event of an intruder. She shut the lights off and closed the door, adding just one more layer between her and the imaginary intruder. Across the hall, she peeled the covers back to her bed and laid down, before getting back up to check on the fire escape door again. Eventually, she pushed her desk against the door, making sure to stack the edge of it with several books propped up and open, the idea being that one nudge of the desk would knock the books over and be a second form of alarm. As a final measure, she grabbed her largest kitchen knife, checked the front door locks again, and set off to sleep. This is the moment of stillness. Weeks leading up to this moment, where she has forced herself to face the very thing she has been avoiding. All she can do is wish for just one distraction. Perhaps the universe has given her enough bad luck, maybe in the spirit of turning things around, she will get exactly what she wishes for, because in that moment of stillness, she hears the beginning of an argument outside through her single paned glass. A couple is fighting outside. Emily can’t make out the words, but it’s quickly escalating in volume and passion. She ponders for a moment. Should she interject herself into this couple’s private moment? What kind of person sits and watches as someone goes through something that intense and raw? Not a good one, that’s for sure, but Emily felt as if she deserved to not be a good person, not yet anyway. She snuck to her living room, all the lights still off, and slowly, so slowly raised the blinds. She could see the couple and make out a few words. The man felt that the woman was dead weight. They were homeless because of her. He had stayed with her through…something, but Emily couldn’t make it out. She walked slowly towards the window, as if it was an animal that would spook if she moved too quickly, and opened it just a few inches. Night air slowly trickled in, causing the hairs on her exposed thighs to stand on end. 

“you want to rub my face in it? You chose to stay with me through all of that, I never asked you to stay” The woman screamed in his face.
“I stayed with you because I loved you, I would have done anything for you” the man shouted back, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
“Well I am sick of feeling like I owe you something, I am fucking sick of it” she turned to look behind her shoulder as if someone was waiting for her. “You don’t fucking love me, if you loved me, we wouldn’t be living in the car on the side of the fucking street waiting for our next meal”
“We are here because of what I sacrificed to be with you, we are here because I stopped working when you got sick, we are here because of your bills. The only thing you have to be upset about is getting fucking sick. You don’t take care of yourself, that was your fucking problem until you dragged me in and made it my problem” He spat back at her, stepping closer.
“I could have been fine, you were always holding me down and I am fucking sick of it. You held me back, you have punished me for the cards I was dealt when you knew about them from the start. You want someone to hate for how things turned out, hate yourself. I would have been fine without you. I would have been fine. You want to sit on that pedestal, you want to judge me from the outside, you want to make me feel bad and use my struggles to make yourself feel like the hero? You’re fucking scum and I am done with you” She turned to walk away. For a moment, Emily thought he would let her go, she thought that he would let her get away and try to live without him. Maybe she would make it without him, if he loved her, wouldn’t he want that? Then she saw him reach into his waistband and pull out a gun. Emily’s hand found her mouth and she felt all air stand still as she watched on.
“You are not going to ruin my fucking life and walk away, that’s not what we’re going to do, you’re the fucking reason, you have to live with what you have done to us or die on this fucking street” His hand trembled as he slowly brought the gun up to her. Emily ran back to her room, grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she dialed 9-1-1 and ran back to the window.
“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” The operator said that well-rehearsed words calmly.
“um, Hi- yes, hello. There are two people in a fight outside of my apartment. The man has a gun” Emily barely whispered, not wanting either party to know she was there.
“You’re going to shoot me? Is that where we are now? You want to shoot me?” The woman walked closer to him and it was everything in Emily to not scream at her to run away. “You’re too much of a fucking pussy, you want me to ruin your life which is exactly why you’re going to let me walk away right now” The barrel of the gun was pressed against her chest. “You can’t say that I ruined your life if you kill me, you can’t say that I broke your heart if you’re the one that blows mine to pieces”
“I could say that shit with you dead or alive, baby” He says this in a volume just barely above talking, Emily isn’t sure she heard it right when a gun shot rings out in the air and the woman falls to the ground.
“Ma’am, are you there? Was that a gun?” The operator speaks with a bit more force, drawing Emily’s attention briefly away from the scene.
“The McDonalds off of Sharon, right outside the homesless shelter, he just shot her” Emily didn’t have time to ponder the lack of emotion in her voice, if she thought she had hit an emotional rock bottom, she was wrong. The operator started to ask more questions but Emily just hung up, her eyes planted on the woman laying on the ground with a bullet in her chest. She panned to the man and immediately felt the blood rush from her body and her stomach launch into somersaults. His eyes were planted firmly on hers. When she has returned with her phone, she had stepped out of the shadows and placed herself directly in the screen of the window. They held each other’s gazes for a moment, but she was not the cause of his pain, therefore not worth his troubles, yet. The woman sputtered on the concrete. He went to her, on his knees, he leaned into her. She pulled him in closer by the back of his neck with her bloody hand and whispered something in his ear. When she let go, he slowly straightened and stood towering over her. All of a sudden, his foot was driving repeatedly into her skull against the sidewalk. Blood splattered and trickled out onto the light colored concrete, appearing black in the night lighting. He stomped and stomped, after she was long dead, until red and blue lights started to illuminate him.

He didn’t run. He didn’t move at all and for a moment, Emily believed that he was beginning to realize what he had done. But that cold gaze turned back towards her. He knew that she was the reason the cops were called, he knew she was the reason that his bad luck had taken an even worse turn. His gun followed his gaze and Emily ducked just before a bullet flew through her window. Glass shards shattered about her living room around her, she stayed down until she heard the officers yelling at the man to put his gun down. He started to scream as they barked orders over him. Emily peaked above the windowsill and saw him in cuffs, leaning against the front of the car. She waited and watched as they got him into the back of the car. Soon, more cars and trucks and vans appeared, carting off the remains of the woman. Emily went down to give her statement, she told the entire story to an officer. She was with them until the early hours of the morning, answering question after question, writing and signing a statement. Finally, when the last officer told her to stay out of trouble before he drove off, she made the trek back up to her apartment. Her freedom, her new home. Early sunlight started to trickle into the room from the broken window. The living room looked different now, and not just because of the broken glass in the carpet and sofa. This living room had been apart of something, and it was changed now. She turned to go to her room, certain she would fall asleep with no issue at the point, when her eye caught on something stuck in the door frame. A brass bullet was wedged into the old wood. It caught in the sunlight and Emily though, in that moment, ‘This is the most precious thing’. She dug the bullet out of the frame and held it in her hand, rolling it in her palm, back and forth, then walked to her bookshelf, still filled with meaningless trinkets, and placed it on the third shelf from the top, right at eye level. 

Her first trinket, the beginning of her new life.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Tiberius_Jim. He posted in AmItheAsshole.

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7.

Mood Spoiler: tentatively happy
Meme Spoiler: the Iranian yogurt was not the issue here
Editor's spoiler 3: reading through all 105 of OOP's comments/replies made this go from "oh, nice palate cleanser" to "sometimes I hate reddit"
Original Post: May 28, 2024
I recently celebrated my birthday, and a large portion of my gifts were, by request, Amazon gift cards. I added the balance of each card to our account and ordered an item, and had some funds left over. Today I went to order a few more items only to discover that my gift card balance was $0.00. I was confused and surprised, and at first thought something had gone wrong. Maybe I ordered more than I meant to with my first purchase...and then I remembered my wife had placed an order for some items for our kids the day before. I checked the order details and sure enough, she used the remainder of my gift cards on those items. It was everyday stuff like mouthwash, toothpaste, deodorant, etc.
I asked her if she realized she had used my gift cards for this purchase and she said yes and that “we might as well, better than paying out of pocket.” I expressed annoyance since that money was for my use and not to use towards everyday items, to which she replied “So just buy what you want and pay out of pocket, it’ll all come out even” I understand...if she hadn’t used the gift cards we would have paid for those items out of pocket and we’ll end up spending the same amount anyway. Yet something still bothered me about it, mostly because she used the money without informing me, leading to my momentary confusion when I went to place an order. It also just seems somewhat rude to use someone’s birthday money for everyday things, especially without telling them first.
I wasn’t angry, just mildly annoyed and I asked her, in the future, to not use my gift cards for her own orders. It’s simple enough to uncheck the box that says “use gift card balance” and if, as she says, it doesn’t matter in the end, then just don’t use the gift cards. Call it irrational or illogical but when I buy something I want but don’t exactly need (some aesthetic upgrades for my PC in this case) I feel way more guilty about buying them when it’s coming out of pocket versus being covered by a gift card. Again, I realize that it’s six of one, half a dozen of the other but mentally it just *feels* different, and now I feel less inclined to spend the money. I’m the one in the family who always watches our budget and manages the money, so my frugal side is saying to let the gift card cover the stuff we need and skip the stuff I want but at the same time, I know that’s not fair.
Meanwhile, my wife is now angry with me for “whining” and “making a big deal out of nothing” when I simply expressed some mild annoyance and asked that I be allowed to use my own money in the future. She’s now talking about opening her own bank account and never ordering from Amazon again to avoid this, which A. wouldn’t solve anything because a separate bank account has nothing to do with Amazon orders (we use an Amazon credit card) and she obviously doesn’t need to stop ordering altogether...just simply don’t use someone else’s gift cards going forward.
Am I really being unreasonable by making this request?
Relevant Comments (OOP has over 100. I tried to choose a spread but there were a LOT of opinions and many were people making up things about OOP and his wife.)
Commenter: NTA Perhaps next time keep the gift cards in your wallet and upload them when you plan to use them on your purchases. Wife just looks at it as "free" money for the family budget.

OOP: Yeah, good point. I had thought I was going to use it all at one time but needed to wait before ordering a few items (had to take some measurements first) and before I could do that, she'd used the remaining balance.

Commenter: Unless they have changed things, gift card balances automatically upload and it’s hard to not use them. Get a separate account.

OOP: The problem with a separate account is that we pay for Prime, and I'd really rather not pay for that twice if I can help it.

Commenter: Yes, you can share a prime membership with your spouse too. That’s what I did until we cancelled. There’s no reason not to have separate Amazon accounts.

OOP: I wasn't aware that was possible, I'll look into that. It would solve the issue of us buying gifts for each other and telling the other to stop paying attention to Amazon notifications for a few days. 😄

Commenter (part of a longer comment): Also, out of curiosity, is the amount she spent totally equivalent to the gift cards? Because if she spent even a little over the gift cards, then some money also came from the shared pot. And if you don’t spend as much as she did, how do you keep track of what you have left?

OOP: She went over the balance by $1.47. I didn't bother bringing that up because I knew she'd point out that's hardly anything. Her defense is that I can still buy whatever I want and we'll have still spent (roughly) the same amount out of pocket, which is true...but to me it's just the principle of the thing. She could have just as easily unchecked "Use gift card balance" when she placed the order and it also contradicts her "better to use the gift cards than pay out of pocket" reasoning for why she used them.

Commenter: I mean honestly the way my husband and I do our budget, it absolutely comes out in the wash because his Fun Money category world have gotten that amount and I’d have used the GC without batting an eye. I don’t like to leave money in the Amazon account. BUT the second my husband expressed annoyance at that, I’d apologize and not do it again. Because it doesn’t matter and so respecting his feelings costs me nothing. If she’d done that there would be N A H

OOP: Yeah, it seems like her default reaction to me being upset by anything is to...be upset with me. There is rarely, if ever, the realization that "Hey, maybe I did something wrong here." It's usually more like "He's wrong for feeling that way about what I did." Everything gets flipped around to where I'm the bad guy.

Commenter: What sort of reaction would she have if you bought something selfish and fun for yourself from family funds? With the gift card balance separate, you have a gift still. Without it, you have to remember that you’re supposed to still have a gift, and insist on chasing it down.
TBH her reaction is so over-the-top that it makes it look a lot more like she was pulling something. If it’s just an innocent “well money is fungible” issue then why is she acting like you’ve made a terrible accusation?

OOP: She'd be really irritated and accuse me of wasting our money. As it is, she made a comment about the item I bought already with the gift cards before this happened, something along the lines of "You needed more stuff for that?"
I was pretty surprised by her reaction, and I'm wondering if something happened at work that had her on edge and me bringing this up pushed her over it. She has a history of not apologizing for things she's objectively done wrong but her reaction to hang up, refuse my calls and start talking about opening her own account/never using Amazon again were just really, as you said, over-the-top.

Commenter: It sounds like she’s acting throughout that those gift cards aren’t really gifts for you, but instead family funds that should be budgeted and used the same way. But people got you those gifts, as contributions to those things that you want. They didn’t just hand over cash for your family budget.
Are funds tight, so that the family budget actually needs additional money? Are there other things that money is being used for that might be more difficult if those expenses didn’t come out of your cards?

OOP: Things are a little tight temporarily due to a trip we took for our anniversary that exceeded our budget a bit, but nothing along the lines of "we either feed the kids or pay the water bill but not both" tight. And our Amazon orders go on a credit card that wouldn't come due until next month anyway so its not like not using the gift card would have immediately impacted us.

Commenter: Do you always pay attention to what form of payment is attached to an Amazon purchase? Did you let her know that you’d put your gift cards on your shared account? Or did she have a subscribe a save order for every day home items that all of you use to take care of your household and maybe just clicked checkout without noticing because she had no reason to notice? When’s the last time you bothered to pay attention to the fact that your children needed toothpaste?

OOP: I do pay attention, and we rarely have gift cards to the point that yes, she knew that any in our account were emine from my birthday.
The kids don't need toothpaste, she just saw a good deal and was stocking up. Not sure why you assume I was neglecting my children's dental needs or something. 😄

Commenter: I would say NAH for a slightly different reason. When you have a gift card balance with Amazon, the payment always defaults to the gift card first. You have to really think it through and take extra steps to not use the gift card. I just mentally keep track of what I've spent for myself and consider that to be my gift.

OOP: And if she had said "oh whoops, sorry I didn't mean to use your gift card for that stuff!" I never would have thought to make this post. But she instantly got defensive and accused me of making a big deal out of it when all I was asking was for her to not do that again.

Commenter: Honestly it doesn’t sound like he’s upset about the gift cards specifically, it sounds like he was mildly miffed about them and is now upset over her reaction to his being miffed. Which is totally fair, if a life partner doesn’t care that they’ve hurt you, that’s messed up. Even if it is something small and silly. And I’m not even saying she needs to rectify the situation, but a simple “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would bother you and I won’t do it without asking again” is literally all it would’ve taken to make the whole situation better.

OOP: This. I was at most mildly annoyed because I was looking forward to spending the gift cards only to find the balance was zero. I simply asked her if she had used them on purpose because I assumed it was done by mistake. She told me she knew she had used them (it wasn't clear yet whether she used them intentionally or used them accidentally but was fine with it. I later confirmed that it was the former) and I expressed that I'd rather my gift cards weren't used for everyday items, and would prefer that not happen again. That's when she blew up on me, started talking about opening separate accounts and then hung up on me. It was that completely out of left field reaction hat prompted me to post here because I honestly didn't think bringing it up was going to be a big deal.

Commenter: YTA. I'd do the exact same thing as your wife, "Might as well clean up this balance". Then I'd expect you to just buy your stuff later. It's all the same money. No matter how you feel about the symbolism, it IS all the same money. Your wife is running a household and doesn't need to be responsible to gatekeep your weird guilt about spending the amount you were given for your birthday.
Also, don't you guys talk? Like you talk about what you're buying with your birthday $? You talk about how there's an extra balance left while you go measure stuff, please dont use it? You talk about how you'll get back to the balance in a few days to finish your order? If you talked to her, she wouldn't have to read your mind.

OOP: A. She doesn't "run the household," I do. I work from home, pay the bills, take/pick the kids up to/from school, make them dinner and take them to extra-curriculars. She...goes to work and occasionally makes dinner if I'm out with the kids at the aforementioned extra-curriculars. She has basically zero responsibilities outside of going to work. She has a fairly stressful job in a medical field so I take on what I can so she doesn't have much to worry about. That, and she's not great with money while I am pretty detailed.
B. We talk, but I just hadn't mentioned that I had yet to use my gift cards yet. I got them on Sunday and it's only now Tuesday. She knew I had placed one order but could have easily seen I still had some leftover. I've never had to tell her to not use up my gift card balance on other stuff before, had no inclination I had to do so now. There shouldn't be any mind-reading necessary to know that I would want to spend my own birthday money.

One more comment from OOP:

It's not a matter of things that shouldn't be shared, but things that simply wouldn't because I'm the only one who would use them. For example, my kids would have very little use for new fans for my PC seeing as they don't seem to have much interest in improving its thermal dissipation performance. I let them use the PC occasionally, but buying the fans is really only something that interests me. And IMO I'm allowed to use my gift card money to buy something that interests me and me alone.
Can I buy them with our actual money? Of course. The issue was that I considered the money that as gifted to me to be mine to do with as I pleased, and it was used in a way I wasn't expecting. If roles were reversed and I was placing an order for an everyday item and my wife's gift card had been applied, I'd have taken the step to remove it and pay for the item with the credit card. yes, it's purely symbolic, but that's hers to spend, not mine and it's a simple, single click of the mouse to not use it. If I'm unsure whether she's going to use it today or a month from now, all I have to do is ask her.
It's the same mentality that should be applied to any gift. The fact that the gift was money is irrelevant IMO. The fact that it was gifted to me specifically is.

Update (Same Post): May 29, 2024 (Next Day)
UPDATE: We sat down and talked about this after the kids went to bed and cleared the air. She started of still really adversarial about it but we eventually got down to the real issue and our disconnect in terms of how we believe gift cards like mine can and should be used.
First of all, she was irritated with me because she was having a tough day at work and claimed my bringing this up "ruined her lunch break" as it didn't allow her to relax. I'd only brought it up because her lunch breaks are our only chance to talk during the work day, and I had only meant to verify that she knew she had used by gift cards and nothing more. I call her on her lunch break every day, and this topic just happened to come up in conversation. I didn't call specifically to talk about this.
She was also irritated because she didn't understand why I would even be mildly annoyed because it just seemed logical to her to use the balance since we were placing the order now versus the money sitting there until I eventually ordered something. She knew I had ordered something already but didn't know when I'd be using the rest (and neither did I, really) so she figured...why not just use it? She didn't consider it "my money" anymore once it was in the account and figured I would be fine with ordering whatever and putting it on the credit card.
This mostly stems from the fact that she uses her own gift cards, usually Target and Costco but sometimes Amazon, whether received from work or from family and friends for birthdays and Christmas, for things we need versus things for herself. I wasn't aware of this, mostly because she knew if she told me I would insist she treats herself rather than spend the money on necessities. She assumed I would be okay with using mine in the same manner.
In the end we realized we simply have different thoughts about how gift cards should be used, and in the future she'll ask first before using any gift card balances, and I'll simply only input them into the account as I use them versus loading them all in at once. Both of those changes together should prevent this from happening again. Best of all, we were able to end the evening on a happy note, no longer irritated at each other. She saw I had the item in the cart I had wanted and placed the order for me.
UPDATE 2: We just set up her own Amazon account and linked it to our Prime Membership, so this will not be an issue again in the future. It will mainly help keep gifts a surprise when we order things for each other or have the kids pick things for us, but it will also avoid anyone using the other's gift card like this going forward.
Relevant Comments:
OOP clarifies:

Yes, I called her for our normal lunch time talk and happened to bring this up offhand, which caused her to get upset and hang up on me. I called back once, she sent it straight to voicemail. I guess it's technically true that I "called multiple times" but the first call wasn't specifically about this topic, and the second call was because she abruptly hung up on me.

Commenter: And that he brought this up to her on her lunch break at her high stress medical field job. Then he thinks that she hung up on him and isn't taking his calls, only to say later that it was a stressful day for her at work, and she was unaware of all that. I wonder if it is like at my job? I lose service in certain areas..
Also, he didn't call her multiple times, but his calls were going directly to voicemail.. She doesn't want him to buy his hobby stuff, but went ahead and bought the hobby things in the cart so he didn't have to worry about the mentality of cash vs. gift card. He states that he does the household stuff and does most of the mental load, but was unaware that she bought necessities with her own gift cards, which of course she must have been deliberately hiding from him, since he would have encouraged her to use them for herself if he knew. 🤦‍♀️

OOP: For what it's worth, her job is not usually stressful. She simply was having a stressful day due to being unusually short-staffed. You also keep insinuating that I called her with the specific intent of complaining about this when in reality we were talking about a wide range of things like what happened last night on Bridgerton and how funny the reel was she sent me earlier.
During that I simply brought up. Hey I noticed you used my gift card balance to buy the kids stuff, was that on purpose?" And the rest is history. She got mad, hung up and I called back once which went straight to voicemail. That's it. You can paint a picture that I angrily called her and chewed her out for using my gift card while she had patients dying all around her or something and then called back repeatedly when she hung up, but that's far from the truth. Especially since patients typically don't die at an eye doctor's office.

Commenter: Guess what?? That already happens. [wife paying for things with gift cards] She uses her gift cards for all the household needs. OP was so oblivious he didn't realize this. That's why she thought it was okay.

OOP: I'm not oblivious, she purposefully didn't tell me because she knew I'd insist she treat herself rather than spend the money on household items. I know, I'm a monster.

Commenter: So yes...... You were oblivious. You didn't notice her spending her gifts on you and your kids. You and bunch of people dragged her on here calling her evil and selfish.
In your update you said you guys talked and worked it out....but seriously...how do you think your made her feel in that moment?? Even if she moved on from it and let it go later.... That stings and stinks OP.

OOP: If someone keeps information from you, it's not due to you being oblivious, it's due to them purposefully keeping that information from you. It's not due to lack of attention, it's due to the other person withholding information.
I never called her evil or selfish, nor have I seen anyone call her evil. It's hardly under my control if someone feels she was being selfish.
What exactly "stings and stinks"? We talked and agreed that we had different views on how GCs should be used and found a solution. From all indicators, she felt perfectly fine after our talk

Commenter (downvoted): NTA, but your wife is for trying to invalidate your feelings and gaslighting you into thinking you are the issue here.

OOP: This is the one thing we talked about tonight that didn't get resolved, unsurprisingly because she's been like this as long as I've known her. She could do something 100% objectively wrong but if I get angry, I'm the bad guy for getting angry. She either has an excuse, blames me or someone else for what she did, points out a time I did something similar, or all of the above.

Commenter: Did you show your wife this post yet? And let her read every comment on here?

OOP: I can't say I would show her every post here because there's a lot I don't agree with and wouldn't want her to read. I might agree with certain things, but definitely not all. But nothing I've said here is anything I haven't already said to her. I'm pretty sure that's not a normal thing people do with their posts here, though. "Hey I asked Reddit if I'm the asshole in this situation and a bunch of them said no but that you are!" I'm pretty sure nobody does that...

Background

Toronto's annual naked bike ride is around the corner. The event is intended as a protest against oil dependency, promoting cycling and body positivity. The group (aka, anyone wishing to join in) cycles naked through the heart of the city, chanting slogans like "less gas, more ass". The news of its return this coming Saturday brings mixed reactions.

Full Thread

Highlights:

1.

Remember when they used the bike share bikes? How gross was that!?

I mean honestly people's hands are likely far more disgusting in terms of germs and bacteria than their butt cheeks and balls.

2.

North America has a weird thing about sexualizing all nudity. Seriously, who the fuck care. All y'all getting outraged at this need to seriously chill TF out.

General expectation is to not interact with nudity in public places. You can feel whatever way you want about it but western society generally does not want to see a bunch of exhibitionists riding dick out downtown and it be simply tolerated because of “inclusion” or any other BS cause they are going for

Why don’t you just mind your own business?

3.

naked people riding past parks and schools with children playing...But yeah being upset at naked bodies near school children is a problem? Makes all the sense in the world.

4.

I don’t see why it’s necessary, like there’s camps and beaches for being naked and away from eye. But then they allow them to do this, they might aswell just allow them to do it all year around. Like I understand why it’s fun to naked and doing things you wouldn’t normally do naked, but doing those things especially in a heart of a city I’d say is unnecessary. It goes for people in the pride parades too, people bring their kids to that don’t be naked. Like you can be prideful without having to tie a ballon around your millimeter Peter to show it. I am straight but go to pride parades a lot for my friends and family who are in the community and its just a shock to see that, especially when I was young and went to my first in Toronto when I was 12 I was wayyy too immature back then

5.

Yeah this is absolutely disgusting. Nobody wants to see this.

Well it's been going on for 20 years.

19 years, 11 months, 2 weeks and 2 days isthe amount of time when USA pulled out of Afghanistan, if the USA wasted 2 trillion and left behind billions in military equipment the nudist can most certainly stop biking in Toronto and go to actual camps for nudist

6.
Small side drama about taking photos at nude beaches

I'm a nudist but wouldn't be naked in an uncontrolled space like a city where children are around. Hanlan beach yes. Side-note: clothed people at hanlan can fuck right off. especially those who take pictures of those naked or themselves with naked people in the background. Edit: ITT: creeps that take a whole ass BOAT and WALK 2 KILOMETERS to find one of two only tiny nude spots in the COUNTRY at the very edge of Toronto, past dozens of clothed beaches telling me they're not creeps.

Hi all,
I’ve worn 38DD for years and sometimes would even buy 38DDD thinking that’s a size up…
I got 34G in the calculator. Here are my 6 measurements:
Underbust loosely: 33.5 Snugly 32.5 Very snugly 31
Bust standing 40.5 90 degrees 43.5 Lying down 42
I like the new band size but I’m not a big fan of how far apart my breasts are - it makes me look wider.
Is it just a bra or should i continue experimenting with the sizes?
Here are images of different sized bras on me, marked on pictures:
https://ibb.co/kSMySjg https://ibb.co/Z2QfDHY https://ibb.co/QQTWfb2
I feel like the 36DD made me look the best and gave me more support and pulled them up, revealing the waist underneath. How do I get that again?
Thank you so much in advance!

@ u/Educational-Slide-19
[Note: I was blocked from the original thread you commented on, so I could not reply there, but I did want to address the points you made. Quoted below are your comments followed by my responses. Thank you for taking the time to comment.]

"The return of Christ in 70 AD was a public event for the land (translated, earth) of Judea, but he didn't touch down on the earth. In his next coming, he will rule from Jerusalem."
If it was a public event, we would have records from those times. We would at the very least have records of eyewitness accounts from people around Judea, as that would hardly be an event that is just passed over and forgotten. People in Judea who saw it would keep records, or at the very least, there would be records of seeing something other than the temple being razed/Jerusalem being destroyed by the Roman forces, because by your position that this is also where the church was actually taken. Hardly a "small and insignificant event". Records would've existed of these miraculous occurrences. History and anthropology would back it up. We have none. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada.

At the time, Christians were undergoing empire-wide persecutions. The Jews were fighting a bloody war with Rome that eventually lead to their death, enslavement, and exile from the Land.
Who had the time to document such historical accounts?
Of those who did, why would they? Why would the Jews want to admit that they killed their Messiah? Why would the Romans want to lend credence to Christianity and undermine their own state religion? Why would the Christians who were left behind want to document their shame?
And if any such documentation existed, how would it have survived? Do you realize how much of a miracle it is that we have the Biblical manuscripts that we have today?

A good explanation and deconstruction of the preterist's beliefs exists here.

Both Old and New Testament prophets sometimes describe a national judgment with symbolic language picturing the end of the world. That is the case here, making it difficult to know exactly which verses fit which event. Thankfully, Luke clearly distinguishes between the events of A.D. 70 and the events surrounding Jesus’ final and visible return in person at the close of human history. He does this by inserting an intervening era not mentioned by Matthew or by Mark — an era that will separate God’s judgment on Jerusalem from his final judgment of the entire world. Jesus identifies this period as “the times of the Gentiles” (Luke 21:24). During this intervening era, said Jesus, the Jews would be scattered among the nations and Jerusalem would be “trampled under foot by the Gentiles.” Based on this detail recorded only by Luke, we may also draw a line also in the accounts of Matthew and Mark, separating Jerusalem’s fall in A.D. 70 (Matt. 24:4-22; Mark 13:5-20) from Jesus’ personal return in power at the close of earthly history (Matt. 24:23-31; Mark 13:21-27). Indeed, with generations of Christians who preceded us, we may confidently affirm that Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again (visibly, according to Acts 1:11).

Luke makes it perfectly clear that you (preterists) have combined events where there was an actual clear dividing line between the Matthew/Mark narratives.
If you want to continue to believe that Jesus came in 70AD, more power to you I suppose.
However again, even if Jesus did not physically touch down on the earth during His "coming in 70AD", his coming would've been accompanied by signs and wonders, including the taking of the "church", seen by those in Judea and written down feverishly in first hand accounts by witnesses for people elsewhere to see, and venerate, and regret that they weren't the ones taken. There would've been some mention of some miraculous event, perhaps diluted and changed and warped through the years of record keeping, but something that happened that was of a miraculous nature.
Yet there are no records, no anecdotes, no witnesses to this public event that, even if it was limited to Judea, would've had many, many witnesses, both among the Roman legions and the locals of Judea.

I'm not a full preterist.
I don't know how much of my original comment you've read, but I stated that there are actual two separate returns of Christ which are easily overlooked. One happened in 70AD as described in Revelation 6:12-17, and the other is still to come, when Jesus returns to rule the earth from Jerusalem. This is depicted in Revelation 19.
There are other passages that support this two-fold "Day of the Lord" model. Nevertheless, the faithful members of the Church were taken into the clouds in 70 AD (commonly known as the rapture). This is evident in the fact that there are no longer any apostles to shepherd us into the unity of faith. There is no Church on earth without apostles on earth.
[Eph 4:11-13 NASB95] 11 And *He gave some [as] apostles, and some [as] prophets, and some [as] evangelists, and some [as] pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; 13 **until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.*

Just no.

Respectfully, this is not a valid argument, nor is it conducive to an honest discussion of the matter.

Yes, this is a repost. It’s less than a month to the 3rd anniversary of her accident. It’s rough.
Since there are those here that have a burr in their ass and want to play games - they somehow think it’s better for whatever reason, but will post this one anyway. Oh and the name My Punk? That’s what I called her.
Goodnight
Thank you for following along mine and Ashley’s journey. As I’ve often said, this is as much for me and my healing as it is to give to little A. Sorry for the length. While this won’t be the last I write, I won’t go any further than this because this marks the last time I saw her.
June 2021
Since Ashley’s surprise visit in 2019, we have visited each other six more times. This would turn out to be the eighth, and final, visit.
While she was back in Washington, we would FaceTime every night without fail. If I close my eyes, I can picture this last FaceTime before her trip back here. Her hair was disheveled and she was laying on her stomach while we were talking. Some nights the camera is facing straight at her face, but not that night. She just had to position it where the curve of her butt was visible and those little boy shorts she loved to wear were on full display. She knew what she was doing and it worked - a cold shower was definitely needed. But I digress.
“Are you going to meet me at the airport tomorrow,” she asked while twirling her hair and biting her lip. I loved how she bit her lip - not all of the lower lip but just the corner. It was something she did when she had something on her mind.
For some reason that always drove me crazy. There was just something incredibly sexy about that and she knew I loved it. “I might make it,” in a silly attempt to tease her.
With a half grin, she shakes her head feigning annoyance. Just something about the way she did that. She sat up in full view and said, “remember this?”
“You kept it?” It was my old UGA shirt she had cut, making it a half shirt, and wore it all those years ago on Sundays when I’d make pancakes and she’d clean. It looked as good on her at it did back then.
The clock seemed to stop. Maybe even go in reverse. It was a Saturday and I was to pick her up at noon. This was going to be the trip I was going to ask her to marry me. I had made reservations for us to stay at this little B&B in Charleston. Holding the ring box I tried to think of a romantic place - Fort Sumter overlooking the water? The Angel Oak? The more I thought, the more my nerves were getting to me. “Maybe I’ll just wing it,” thinking to myself. That turned, incidentally, out to be the best idea.
Since I have joint custody of my kids from the previous marriage, I still had them when it was time to pack her up. In hindsight, it may have been wiser to drop them off a day earlier given the confrontation between their mom and Ashley, but I felt they should meet her. I had talked to Ashley about it and she was very excited to meet them. It wasn’t like they had never seen her since we FaceTimed nightly. Somehow they would find their way over to talk - however we always tried to talk after they went to bed.
As we waited at the airport, the kids were asking a million questions as all kids do. At least they were fascinated with something else, having never been to an airport before. Her plane was on time and it wasn’t long before she came down. She was wearing this little sun dress - instant flashback to the party. Absolutely beautiful.
Every time I met her at the airport, she’d literally run and jump on me, showering me with hugs and kisses. What can I say? She loved me. But not this time, it was all about the kids. Out of her carryon she pulled a small gift for each - something each liked based on their conversations. They took to her instantly, which warmed my heart beyond measure.
My turn was next. While she didn’t do her usual out of respect for the kids, she did hug and kiss me. She loved me.
They had a million questions for her and she was very patient with them. As we drove home, they did nothing but talk to her. It did not go unnoticed that she slipped her hand into mine as she’s done since our first date. They knew.
As I was making dinner, she got down on the floor with them and played games - things their mom rarely did with them. The motherly, nurturing side of her was coming out and it was a joy to watch.
I know what you are thinking, she stayed in a spare bedroom above the garage. As I was putting them to bed, they both told me how much they liked her.
The following day found all of us driving down to Jacksonville to visit the zoo. All in all, it was one of the best days we’ve had, according to the kids at least. The day ended all to quickly. It was obvious that it would have been a perfect fit.
Apparently my daughter had decided to send her mom a picture of her and Ashley. I knew something was up during the text exchange about dropping them off at our usual time. “Be nice” didn’t cut it. There was very bad blood between those two, and that day proved it. However, that confrontation will be another story.
“Your ex sure knows how to ruin a great day.” If words could be seen, they would have been red. Angry isn’t the word for it.
Quick thinking saved the ride. “Don’t unpack,” I told her. “I got us a B&B for a few days.”
She looked over at me and smiled. “Oh really? Do tell.”
“Nope” was all I could muster while trying to avoid the dagger eyes. I was milking it for all it was worth. While she loved surprises, the suspense was killing her. It was fun to see her squirm as she was like a kid waiting to open presents.
“Well, even if you won’t tell me you know how to put a smile on my face.” With that she leaned over and kissed me.
It had been a long, hot day at the zoo and we both were ready to get cleaned up. “I’m going to take a shower,” she said as she walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open. Now I may not be the smartest man, but I wasn’t about to turn down an invitation. Watching her undress was a thing of beauty.
“You’re staring again,” she said as she stood, biting her lip. Her form was exquisite - still a work of art. Stepping into the shower, she turns, “you coming?”
Invitation number two. I had forgotten that she liked her showers at near-sun temperatures as I jumped in a little too fast. “Damn, woman” I screeched as I tried to become one with the wall.
“I had forgotten how much of a wimp you are,” she said while turning down the temp to that of a flame thrower. “Now come here.”
Invitation number three. With that, she put her arms around my neck, “I’ve missed you.” It must have been a combination of missing me plus a little residual anger from the confrontation with the ex, but that was one interesting shower.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going,” she asked while laying on my chest later that night.
“Are you going to tell me that secret you keep mentioning?” See how that goes? Did it work? Not with her, proving that once again I know nothing about women.
“Soon. Very soon.” She was absentmindedly drawing circles on my cheek when she turned and looked me in the eye and half-whispered, “on our next trip, I promise.” If she could have snuggled in any closer, she would have. I went to sleep with her head on my shoulder and leg across me like I was a big pillow.
The next morning found her waking me up at 0500. If anyone got excited about trips, it was this one. She had the car loaded and coffee made. What can I say? I love that woman.
Convincing her to wait a while was a herculean effort. I was bombarded with more questions than my kids are able to come up with. Eventuality we went to this cozy little breakfast place on the water that we used to frequent those years ago. The perfect place for a quiet, romantic little breakfast.
There is something soothing about sitting outside on a deck listening to the water lapping against the pilings as we ate. She was very talkative and animated that morning, as she always was when she was excited. I don’t remember the conversation but I do remember thinking that I’ve never loved someone as much as her.
By the time we passed through Beaufort she knew exactly where we were going, as there are only two ways into Charleston from where we lived. She loved Charleston. “Is it that little place on the park by the water.” She asked.
“Yes. Yes it is.” We had seen it many times as we toured the area on earlier trips. Her eyes grew wide with excitement. She was happy and that was all that mattered.
We were staying in a quaint little carriage house tucked behind a 19th century house and facing the water. Beautiful isn’t the word for it. Amazing. The house was situated perfectly so one could sit on either story porch and enjoy the harbor breezes. The setting couldn’t have been any better.
After checking in and getting situated we explored the area by foot since it’s all centrally located. Battery park, rainbow row, old City Market - all of it. What a day that was. The spring in her step told me all I needed know. She was beyond happy.
She wanted to go to an upscale restaurant for dinner that night. She had packed this little black dress that fit her just perfectly. Combine that with heels and you have perfection. She looked like something you’d see in a magazine. I know, way out of my league.
She was drawing looks wherever we went that night, and rightly so. With her heels pushing her over six foot tall, she commanded attention. She certainly had mine.
After dinner we found this little dessert cafe/bar and rounded out the evening with a walk around the downtown area. The night was seasonably warm but not overly, with the breeze coming off the water. The stars were out and It was a cloudless night. Perfect.
We came across this ghost tour that had I openings. Fortunately, this one was a two person carriage tour. I know what you’re thinking, a ghost tour can’t be fun. Actually, our tour guide was great - but learning things not commonly taught is what makes it so good. Besides, what is better than a horse-drawn carriage ride just for two?
It was almost midnight before we got back. We were exhausted after a full day. Fortunately the shower was big enough for the both of us. This time I got to control the temperature. She loved having her head washed and as I stood there watching the water run down her back the only thought that came to my mind was that tomorrow was the day - the day that I was going to ask her to be my wife.
We went to bed the same way we always do - with her head on my shoulder and one leg across me, like I was a big pillow. She fell asleep almost instantly. Not me, I was staring at the ceiling and listening to the gentle breeze blowing through the live oak trees.
We slept in the following morning and after the complimentary breakfast, we headed out for the day - with the ring in my pocket in case the opportunity presented itself. She, being a history buff like me, wanted to visit historical sites. We visited the USS Yorktown because she’s never been on an aircraft carrier and also to see what I did with the Navy. While the Yorktown was much older than the ship I was on, it was still the same basic concept. We went from one end of the ship to the other. She had a million questions and loved it as much as I did.
We hopped on the ferry out to Ft Sumter. One would think that an old fort would be any sort of romantic place, but this one has its charms. We were standing on the parapet and overlooking the ocean when she moved in front of me and took my arms so she could wrap them around her waist. She leaned back against my chest while holding them at the same time. It’s like she was trying to make us one. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” she said.
Thinking this was the opportunity, I started to reach into my pocket when I chickened out.
“What are you doing?”
I had to think quick so all I could manage was “touching your butt.” Yeah, that didn’t work so well.
She turned and looked at me with that half-grin while shaking her head, “that’s not my butt, you dork.” One of the things I loved about her was her sense of humor. She took my arms and wrapped them even tighter. There was something about her, especially wrapped up like that, that just soothed my soul. If there is such a thing as a soulmate, she was it.
We had a busy day of playing tourist. Even though we’ve been to Charleston a few times, this one was special. This one was us as we were those years ago and should have been all along. I loved the way she would squeeze my hand just a little tighter when she saw things she liked.
It was after dark by the time we got back to the room. Grabbing a blanket I had packed, I asked to grab a bottle of wine and the package in the fridge, which were chocolate covered strawberries - her favorite, by the way.
“Your are just full of surprises, aren’t you,” she asked while wrapping her arms around her neck. If she only knew. It was now or never.
We walked over to the park and found a place near the water to put our blanket and lay our stuff out. There was just enough light from the streetlights in the park so that we could see, but not enough to spoil the stars and overall setting. The gentle breeze coming off the water was blowing through the massive old oaks. The sound of the rustling leaves was very soothing and helped set the stage perfectly.
Add the wine was chilling, we were laying on the blanket with her on my arm. The stars were beautiful and it wasn’t long before a shooting star appeared.
“Those are supposed to be good luck,” she said as one flew over. Here I was, under a beautiful sky with the girl of my dreams. How could it get any better?
Now or never. I had to move her head as I got up. “What are you doing,” she asked as she propped herself up on one elbow.
With my heart racing wildly, I got on one knee and pretended to get the strawberries. Pulling the ring out, I said “Ashley, will you marry me?”
There was just enough light to see her face. Still on one elbow, “wha” was all she managed to get out.
“I should have done this a long time ago. Ashley, will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
Her eyes started to well up. Of all the years I’ve known her, I’ve only seen her cry maybe a handful of times. By this time we were standing. She was crying full on - “you better not be joking with me.”
“I’m not, Ashley. You are my person and I want to grow old with you,” I said at I slipped the thing on her finger.
She looked at me then the ring and finally back at me. “Of course I will,” she said as she jumped on me wrapping her legs around me. We must have been sight for any passerby, with me completely holding her and crying with joy.
I don’t know how long we stood like that, but eventually we made it back to the blanket. After finishing the wine and strawberries we laid there a while just talking. She must have looked at the ring a hundred times if she did once. She was happy. I was ecstatic.
“Let’s get married in that little white church we saw in Gatlinburg,” she asked while looking at it once again and snuggling in even closer. This was as happy as I’ve ever seen her.
“Do you think your kids will accept me?”
“Are you kidding? They adore you. And they see how happy you make me.”
She smiled and looked into my eyes. “As soon at I get home, I’m going to book a flight back. This time you will get to see your surprise. Now let’s go to bed,” she said while taking my hand.”
It wasn’t until the sun was rising that we finally went to sleep. We left Charleston around lunch and the first thing she did when getting in the car was call her sister and family.
After arriving home, it was back in the car to see family and over to Steve and Misty’s. Time flew by and before we knew it we were at the airport saying our byes - and she was still looking at her ring. I had never seen her that happy.
The last time I talked to her was FaceTime on July 1, 2021. “I got our tickets. We will be there in two weeks.”
“We?”
“You’ll see,” she said with a grin.
Her accident was the next day.

I've looked at many penis size studies and they all conclude that average is around 5 - 6". Sorry, but this doesn't seem right to me and I think something is amiss with these studies. I've seen plenty of penises in locker rooms that are a lot bigger than that, even when flacid. Also, I spend way too much time in adult chat rooms and I see the pics and videos that people post. On any given night, you can see literally hundreds of pics and videos. Mine is about 6" X 5 1/2" in circumference when erect, so according to these studies, mine is above average. Yet the vast majority that I see in the chat rooms are bigger, both in terms of length and thickness. From what I've seen, the average looks more like 7" and many are quite a bit larger. These are just regular people posting, not porn videos. Also, I've reverse-image searched many of the pictures and nothing comes up, so they definitely weren't taken from porn sites.
According to these studies, only like 10% of men are 7" and only like 1% are 8" or larger. It doesn't add up, because I've seen many that are clearly larger than 8". My theory is that penis size studies are self-selecting for smaller guys. Like what big guy is going to participate in this type of study? Guys who are big are generally more confident and secure in their size, so they're not going to be interested in having some researcher measure their penis. Smaller guys are the ones who obsess over their size and feel that they have something to prove, so I think they'd be more likely to participate.
Does anyone else feel the same way?

Hello, wonderful sub members! Since we have had a recent influx of new members, we wanted to touch base quickly to remind everyone of some of our more “forgotten” rules, explain some of our newer rules, & answer some frequently asked questions🫶 Full disclosure, if this sounds like a robot wrote this, it’s because i used chatGPT to rephrase everything in order to hopefully make sense, rather than just word-vomit in a post. 😭

Quick Updates

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This thread will be posted by the automoderator every 48 hours at 6:00 PM PST.
Hi all,
This thread will attempt to limit the amount of low-effort posts we get in the subreddit. Yes, we all started somewhere at some point, and being new can be difficult and scary, but that is no excuse to not do any research and think that every question that pops into your head warrants a brand new post.
This post will initially be made by me, but will subsequently become a recurring automoderator thread.
Most questions can usually be answered with the following guides:
Basic, Commonly Used Replica Terms Defined (QC, GL, RL, Batch Names, Batch Tiering, etc)

Agent Basics

"I have never used an agent - how do I learn?"
In the current landscape, it is difficult to recommend any agents. Once an agent arises that seems trustworthy and efficient, a How-To Guide may be written. At this time, this group does not have a How-To Guide for agent purchases.
"How can I order this pair? The website (Weidian/Taobao) is in Chinese."
Web Browser's such as Apple's Safari or Google Chrome have built-in translation features that you can use to translate the page. Additionally, copy-pasting the link into an agent website translates the page for you.
"W2C?" "Do you have a link?"
I see these comments underneath posts at least daily, and I fear those of you commenting these things will not read this post either. All QC posts are mandated to have W2C links. All W2C links are either in the caption of the photos or in the comments section. Please check these two areas before posting "W2C?"
"I don't know what size to purchase"
If you've never ordered from an agent, you may not have ever referenced European sizing. Weidian listings are most commonly listed in EU sizing. I am a US 8.5, and that is an EU 42. Convert from your US or UK size to find the appropriate size! There are multiple size charts online, but the one I use myself is this one from N1k3.
In my experience, most shoes and batches are true to size, or at least fit like their retail counterparts. Order whatever size typically works for you in that silhouette. If it's your first time buying a certain silhouette, you can ask for insole measurements, though this isn't something I typically do.
"Wait - but X Middleman in another subreddit charges double the price for these! Am I being scammed by purchasing of Weidian?"
No, you are not being scammed. In short, middlemen do not produce pairs - they source them from the same places Weidian sellers do. Middlemen mark up the price as they are profiting off of user laziness and desire for maximum convenience, as well as providing usually faster UPS/FedEx shipping (a ~$55 value to the US). Some middlemen will lie and say Weidian is scamming you - this is not true. These sellers are simply trying to instill fear in ignorant, usually newer rep buyers in order to maintain business. These sellers also usually pay off other group moderators in order to be given the "trusted seller" status. This status was not earned, but bought. Keep this in mind when perusing other subreddits with weaker moderation.
As stated in my guide, batch is what matters, not seller. If you buy the same batch from a middleman as an agent, it will be the same exact quality. Please do not discuss overpriced middlemen from other groups here as that is against subreddit rules. Please try to do your own research on any outside information prior to bringing it into this subreddit as it may be unreliable. The only discussion regarding direct shipping allowed in the group is for Weidian sellers in the community as they offer the most competitive prices and have maintained a good reputation.
"I bought a pair in another subreddit from a middleman and want to know what they sent me! Can I post here asking for the batch identity?"
That is unfortunate that you purchased from a seller in another subreddit where sellers are not upheld to standards for transparency and putting the seller first. This group was not made to be a crutch to these other subreddits. We here encourage you to purchase from sellers who have gained their reputations organically, and who will be held to consequences if they breach that trust. You are welcome to post in other groups asking for batch identities, though that is not allowed here in order to maintain our ecosystem and not help maintain other, shadier subreddits.
"But middlemen said that if I use an agent, I can't get QC pictures or RL pairs?"
This is false and again, an attempt to keep your business and keep you from saving money. You can see all of the QC pictures in this group. Being able to GL or RL pairs depends on the listing. Certain sale listings or B-Grade listings are non-refundable, so you will get QC pictures, but you won't be able to return them except for severe circumstances (seller sent wrong shoe, seller sent wrong size).
"What is a B-Grade pair? How do they differ from regular products?"
B Grades or B Versions have imperfections that prevent the pairs from being sold at regular price - it’s impossible to know what imperfections will be present, though typically for top-tier batches, the imperfections are relatively minor. The flaws can range from scuffs to loose stitching, differences in tumbling to wrinkled leather. Sometimes, but not always, do the sellers state what types of flaws to expect on the pairs. I typically avoid any pairs where the sellers warn about mold, as that is not something I want to deal with or put on my feet.
"Well, do you recommend B-Grade products poncecatchemall?"
If you can’t tolerate minor flaws, do not purchase. These pairs are typically non-refundable. If you’re willing to compromise minor flaws that you’ll likely acquire rapidly anyway from wearing your shoe, pick the B-Grade pairs up and enjoy the discounted price - I personally recommend B products from top batches as I’m not bothered by imperfections that quickly come from wear.

QC Questions

"Which post flair should I use, Agent or DIRECT, and which price range should I select?"
Because the group will temporarily allow direct shipping from our Weidian sellers, QC Post Flairs were split for each price range into Agent Purchases and Direct Shipping Purchases. Please use the appropriate flair for how you purchased the item.

1. If you are purchasing through an agent, use the QC Post Flair that captures the price of the shoe on the Weidian Listing. For example, a 470¥ pair of GX Batch Jordan 4s would use the Agent QC 400¥ - 499¥ flair.
2. If you are purchasing the same GX Batch Jordan 4s pair directly from a Weidian seller, without an agent, you should use the DIRECT QC post flair that captures the total price (including direct shipping). If that GX Batch Jordan 4 pair comes out to $119 shipped, or 861¥ (470¥ + 390¥ Direct Shipping), you should use the DIRECT QC 800¥-899¥ post flair.

Using the appropriate flair helps keep the group organized (good for me) and more importantly, places prices in the direct view of all buyers in order to compare prices across sellers and ensure that no one seller is price gouging anybody (good for the community).
"Can I post screenshots of my QC pictures instead of downloading the pictures and posting the actual QC pictures?"
No. Posting screenshots of the QC photos reduces the picture resolution and makes actually providing any accurate QCs much more difficult. On your agent site, download the QC photos the agent has provided. Users should post the actual QC pictures with the appropriate title format.
"Wow, the pair I ordered using an agent looks like the colors are all off - why is that?"
Warehouse lighting is terrible and often distorts colors. You cannot QC color shades or saturations through warehouse lighting QC pics. Either 1) ask for natural lighting pictures (though not all agents do this) or 2) look up in-hand pictures of the batch you are purchasing, as in-hand pictures typically have better lighting. The latter tends to be easier unless it is a brand new batch on the market. Remember, colors typically do not vary within a batch. For example, all LJR TS1 Highs have a yellow midsole, and that does not change from pair to pair unless the batch is updated. The midsoles might picture differently among different agents or purchases, but they'll all look the same in person.
"I think I may have been bait and switched - what should I do?"
If you post asking if a pair you received is not what you purchased, your post must include specific reasoning as to why you believe that is so.
Acceptable reasoning includes specific characteristics of the shoe (leather cuts, wings logo placement, colors, etc) that differ from known pairs, different production dates from known pairs, sellers with confirmed recent history of bait and switch, etc. The most important part is to include some sort of reasoning. Posts without reasoning will be deleted, as these posts are typically made from newer members to the replica community, and the posts lead to unnecessary fearmongering and damage to seller reputations.
Please order a QC picture of the size tag so that we can see the production dates. Production dates on size tags can help rule out a batch identity. However, matching size tags does not guarantee a batch identity and requires some additional information. I order size tag pictures by asking my agent for additional "Detailed Photos" with the following statement in the request comment: "Complete picture of inner white size tag clearly showing both production dates."
"There are so many differing opinions! I don't know who to listen to. What do I do?
Being new in the rep game is hard - it is difficult to know who is a credible commenter, and who is not. For this reason, certain members in repweidiansneakers have been given User Flairs to distinguish them from the crowd as reputable, knowledgeable members of the community. They have earned their flairs, and if there are conflicting opinions on a QC, I personally would give their opinion more weight.
"What is the best batch for X shoe?"
Oftentimes, and especially for very popular shoes, these questions have already been asked and discussed in detail. Recommendations for navigating this are:

1. Check poncecatchemall's batch guide if available
2. If the shoe isn't listed on there, utilize the group's search bar to search for the shoe in question to look at QCs. You can also utilize the group's search bar to search by the Rep vs Retail Flair in order to see comparisons of batches on the market.
3. You can also check the comments history of any of the group experts to see if they've discussed these shoes in the past.

These 3 methods answer most questions. Please do some research prior to making a new post.

Shipping Questions

"How much will it be to ship X amount of shoes using an agent?"
There are often too many variables to give a blanket answer. Which agent? Shipping to which country? Using which shipping method? The most optimal way to use an agent in terms of cost is to make a haul of at least 4kg in my opinion, which is about 3-4 pairs of shoes. Previously, I myself typically shipped out 8kg-10kg hauls using my agent through GD-EMS, the haul typically arrives in 2 weeks, and the shipping cost per shoe is usually around $30.
"How much should I declare for the value of my package for Customs?"
This varies by country. For the US, I declare $12/kg. For 10kg hauls, I thus declare $120. Other countries have different guidelines. Hopefully members from different countries can state what they declare for their hauls per kg in the comments.
"Is my package seized?"
Does your tracking say your package has been seized? If yes, then yes, your package has been seized. If no, then no, your package has not been seized. Patience is a virtue and is the name of the game. Read your tracking information. Whatever it says is what the current status of the package is. That is the purpose of tracking information.
"But my tracking information hasn't updated in 3 days? Should I panic?"
No. Again, patience is key.
"Should I post a generic picture of my boxed haul about to ship out with a corny caption?"
No.

Miscellaneous

"Wow I saw a hilarious meme on another subreddit, can I post it here?"
No. Please keep the low-quality spam in other groups. Posting memes, "Fire up the rep machines" posts, or anything similar will result in a 14-day temporary ban from the group.
"I threw together a list of low-quality items in a spreadsheet and called it THE ULTIMATE FINDS LIST, just trying to get people to use my affiliate link for an agent - can I post it?"
Do not spam the group with low-quality "finds" spreadsheets. The majority of you doing this don't even know how to QC or make solid, informed recommendations. If you actually have good recommendations, I will make an exception. However, the majority of your "1:1 spreadsheets" are terrible, and thus are not allowed in this group.

Hi! I just got my follow up dexa scan after 12 weeks since my initial. I’m confused how my body fat percentage is so low but my body shape to me seems like I’m carrying a lot of fat?
Age:25 Sex: Female Height: 178cm
Measurements Bust 93cm Waist 74cm Hips 96cm
My initial stats and my recent ones are:
Total body weight (kg) 74.4 > 71.4
Total body % Fat 20.1 > 17.1
Android/Gynoid % Fat ratio 0.93 > 0.92
Android Fat (g) 1048 > 796
Total body Lean (g) 56040 > 55749
Total body %Lean 75.3 > 78
Append. Lean Mass/Height² (kg/m²) 8.4 > 8.4
Total body %Bone 4.6 > 4.8
I lost roughly 2.7kg of fat and roughly 0.3kg of muscle, which is a 9:1 ratio.
They’ve recommended I continue with what I’ve been doing and adding more zone 2 cardio if I want to see progress faster. Aiming to end up 68.4kg with 15% body fat.
My concern is, I’ve seen posts about DEXA not being accurate and people complaining their body fat percentage is a lot higher than they expected. But I think mine is a lot lower than it should be?
I store a lot of fat around my belly, it’s why I went down this road in the first place. I was diagnosed with PCOS a few years ago, since then I have changed my lifestyle and eating habits. Got bloods recently and my hormones are normal, my periods are regular. I take inositol daily. I practically don’t present any symptoms anymore.
For the last 12 weeks I have been weight training 2-4 times a week and running or walking 1-2 times a week. I’ve been seeing a dietitian, focusing on plant based foods but still eating meat and animal products here and there. Eating around 1600-1700 calories.
Now I’d love to say I’ve done this consistently every week, but I’ve had a few weeks where I haven’t stuck to this exactly. I was disappointed that I had only lost 3kg from my total body weight but knowing that it was mostly fat is great.
When I’ve looked up ideal body fat percentage for women and pictures, I look nothing like that haha
My gut is definitely smaller than at the start of the 12 weeks but it’s still a considerable size for what I can find 17% body fat should look like on women.
Do these numbers add up to what I’m experiencing? Am I just unlucky and store all my fat in my belly haha I’ve always had quite a “stocky” build with broad shoulders and thicker waist. I just want to reduce that “fluffy” look I’ve got going on. Be able to wear a tight clothes without my stomach bulging out.
I can provide more data and measurements if necessary.
TLDR: My body fat percentage in DEXA scan is lower than I thought, is it likely it’s inaccurate or my body just doesn’t store the junk in my trunk?

I have a big porch in my backyard that faces west and takes direct sunlight. Hitting my sliding glass doors and a big window. Causing my living room to heat up. Now I know some internal options that I could do to stop some heat from coming it but I also wanna stop it before it hits the window.
The roof of the porch is slanted and gives me a headache on how I can create a cover to prevent direct sunlight from hitting that side of the house. From what I measure the tallest point is about 10ft, while length of it is about 15.5-16ft. Need to remeasure with a longer measuring tape.
Any tips that can help with a porch this size. It’s frustrating me to think about. Possible roller shades? 2 sets of it? The slant is what throws me off on how I could manage to hang 2 of them at an even level. The outside of the house is like a textured stucco
Picture of Backyard Mind the mess I’m working on it.

I have a big porch in my backyard that faces west and takes direct sunlight. Hitting my sliding glass doors and a big window. Causing my living room to heat up. Now I know some internal options that I could do to stop some heat from coming it but I also wanna stop it before it hits the window.
The roof of the porch is slanted and gives me a headache on how I can create a cover to prevent direct sunlight from hitting that side of the house. From what I measure the tallest point is about 10ft, while length of it is about 15.5-16ft. Need to remeasure with a longer measuring tape.
Any tips that can help with a porch this size. It’s frustrating me to think about. Possible roller shades? 2 sets of it? The slant is what throws me off on how I could manage to hang 2 of them at an even level. The outside of the house is like a textured stucco
Picture of Backyard Mind the mess I’m working on it.