Poem to tell it to girl on her birthday

Hey just needed someone to tell this too so reddit it is :) I’m 16 and gay I have been crushing on girls since elementary before I even knew what it meant to be gay. When I realized I was gay I got very upset and absolutely refused to believe, but now I have come to terms with it. Anyway, my mom is kinda homophobic. I say kinda bc sometimes she’s like okay with it and sometimes she thinks it’s absolutely disgusting. She oddly has a very good gaydar…which confuses the fuck out of me bc I literally REFUSED to wear dresses or the color pink, loved to wear baseball caps, was friends with all boys, shit I remember helping her hang something and got really upset when she said I could work with my shirt off like my dad, so idk how she doesn’t know i’m gay but that’s besides the point.
Where I was going with this is I love Dance Moms and she does too so ofc we watched the reunion (this was a couple weeks ago) Obv JoJo is in it, and my mom knows she is gay. JoJo has always been a lil joke in my family, like for my 13 bd my mom and brother thought it’d be funny to throw me a JoJo Siwa themed party. My mom was not thrilled to find out she is gay, she will make comments about it sometimes but it’s whatever.
Now the point of this post (I’m talking to much) is that I LOVE Chole she is like my fav human ever and my mom likes her too. I knew she was gay, but my mom had no idea. We watched the reunion on May 2nd so it was already out and I had seen a clip of it where Chole is talking about dating Brooklinn and it was so sweet it made me cry, but I was holding my breath the whole time watching w my mom and when the clip came on my heart was literally beating out my chest. I think I was so nervous bc it’s one thing when she doesn’t like somebody for being queer and I don’t really love them, but to be upset with Chole just for being gay ahh no.
Her first reaction was “Oh come on she’s a lesbian?” but then I add that she had been for a while and her and her gf are really happy together. She got quiet for a bit especially when Chole was crying as her mom was supporting her. It went to adds and she remained quite and then said “well I guess I can’t blame her men suck these day”. My dad’s a shitty dude and she and her bf just broke up. Is that comment a good thing? You think she will be more accepting when I come out? When I come out will she thinks it’s just bc men are dumb and not bc I’m really gay? Idk

Me and my partner have been together for four, almost five years and we are long distance. we have never met.
this will be a very long read but it honestly doesn’t even sum up everything. there’s been so much more stuff with terrible abusive details and so much emotion that I cannot capture in this post. I also could not explain everything to detail and left out a lot about this girl im eventually going to mention in this post and have left out a lot about other stuff my bf has done and said to me.
to preface, me and my bf both are not in therapy. He is going to therapy in a few months. He is in college and has friends, while I have no friends.
I have a lot of jealousy issues and insecurities. my boyfriend has messed up countless times with his friends. he’s broken a million boundaries over and over throughout this whole relationship. he says he can’t get better. he says he needs me to be more appreciative of the good things he does and to stop getting so mad when he hurts me. any time I talk to him about the bad stuff, he victimizes himself, brings up things I did in the past that I no longer do, gaslights me, manipulates me and tries to break up with me. when he breaks boundaries with people, he just breaks up with me and gets super mad. every boundary broken has been with girls.
he’s emotionally cheated, lied a billion times, hid things a billion times, done things I tell him make me uncomfortable with other people, ranted (talked shit) about me to his friends a billion times but left out all the things he’s done to provoke me and abuse me..and through all of that he has yelled at me and cried and blamed me. I am always very up front about my boundaries and try to be stern every single time.
so through all of that, I have horrible trust issues and insecurities. now we are having issues with this girl in his hometown at his work. he did substances with her, hid it, lied about it, and since then he has made her a HUGE deal. I told him one of my boundaries is not hanging out with people nor being their friend if you’ve messed up boundaries with them intentionally. all of the boundaries I have placed are ones that I follow as well by the way.
he told me he can’t get rid of her because she works with him and can’t find another job and doesn’t want to find another job (it’s a summer job). he wanted to hang out and explore abandoned places with her like the last time they hung out for six hours and also did substances and other stuff at her place. he cried and complained and started about 6 different big fights with most of them resulting in him trying to break up with me or breaking up with me for a few hours to a day.
this girl has a boyfriend but I have this gut feeling she likes him but I could be totally wrong! Like I said, I have really bad jealousy and insecurities but with that comes paranoia. I don’t think every girl likes my bf but there has to be signs and I guess my mind has convinced me there are “signs”.
the signs are: she followed him on Facebook, added him on snapchat, has him on discord and instagram.
she only followed my boyfriend despite knowing I exist.
she only follows my boyfriend and three other people (who are famous). she does not follow her boyfriend on that account.
she friended me on Facebook so I asked her why she friended me on facebook and not instagram (where she always talks to my bf) because she knows I exist on instagram but she said she didn’t notice she wasn’t following me which just feels complete lie. I asked then was asking why she only followed him , (a few famous people), and did not have her bf on this account. she said she has multiple accounts but she was snappy and rude when she responded to me saying stuff like “can’t I follow who I want to what’s the problem here lol” and stuff. I asked a simple question, I wasn’t rude or anything. she apologized for being rude a few minutes later and then went to my boyfriend while he was working (she was in to grab some food) and she told him she thinks I hate her because she was rude to me and didn’t want me thinking she’s a “fucking bitch”. her words told from him to me.
Since my boyfriend said he cannot leave or distance since they work together and it would be too awkward he tried breaking up with me multiple times and said this summer would be miserable with him because all ill do is complain and cry about being anxious with what he has caused. I told him to just be distant and he agreed to.
he had ended up telling her im uncomfortable with them hanging out because she kept begging him to hang out again and he didn’t think it was fair to not explain why he keeps saying no to her. he told her he slipped up on a boundary with her and that I don’t allow it. it made me sound so shitty and he refused to explain my side of why im uncomfortable in more details like I begged and then when I tried to explain it to her (I ended up just not sending it) he kept telling me to cut out parts that make him look bad and that she “doesn’t need to know everything about our relationship”. so I know she thinks im a shitty partner now and I know she does not like me but she doesn’t know anything he’s done.
the day before yesterday was his first day back to work for summer break and they only worked together for about an hour and thirty minutes but still managed to talk quite a bit. she also came up to him and said she wishes they could still hang out and that she’s sad or something about it despite knowing im uncomfortable and that we’ve already made it clear that wouldn’t be happening. She also asked him if they were still good (she was definitely asking because there’s tension between me and her even though her and I like don’t really talk, I’ve also tried inviting her to play games with me and my bf online before he messed up with her and she refused every time and wouldn’t reschedule but then she wants to play games alone with him.) then he asked her if he could get his cigarettes back that he gave her. he says he can’t help talking to her at work because he doesn’t want to be rude and that it’s hard to avoid her.
Today they are currently working together and it’s only been a few hours yet so far she’s come up to his register behind him and looked at his phone, talked a bit and told him she could try and get him a free electric guitar, gave him a piece of gum without asking, showed him pictures of her and her boyfriend at a prom event, talked about working out, etc. Doesn’t sound like much maybe but it hurts when you’ve asked him to distance himself and it was barely half of his first shift and all that has already been done. and not to mention she was stocking while my bf was on register so she kept coming out of her way to talk to him.
if I complain, he just wants to break up. I wish she knew why I don’t want them hanging out. he made me sound like im just a toxic girlfriend. I can’t explain anything to her without him threatening to like cut and kill himself and break up with me.
if I break up with him they’re just gonna hang out all summer and he do god knows what and talk shit about me for sure. he would never explain what he’s done. I’ll look even worse. I just want peace but my heart is breaking. I don’t want to victimize myself but I have such a big heart, i believe in and love god, I love with my whole heart, I try to see good in people, I gave him everything I had and im still trying to pull more out of me. it feels like it’ll never be enough. I know he will forget about me because last summer we were on break and he said he let himself “slip” up and looked at a girl who came into the store with lust and full attraction because he was trying to imagine his life without me. he didn’t even tell me because he didn’t think he needed to since we were on break. He recently told me maybe a month ago. the break lasted like two days and it was because our relationship was so bad and he did not love me anymore. there have been multiple times he has not loved me but it was always because of my reactions to his abuse.
I’ve never not once stopped loving him and I’ve never once found anybody else attractive while I’ve been with him, not even celebrities. I’ve tried to warn him a thousand times that if he breaks boundaries again or hurts me some other way, I’ll be done. he just does it like he breathes. he says he feels remorse but he just always does it again. he said he feels better without me because im always hurting him. I “hurt” him by reacting to his abuse, asking him questions about things he’s done, asking him if he’s broke boundaries with his friends when he’s with them, etc. His first day of work this summer I was asking him questions about the girl and he was so defensive. I still feel like something else happened like he ranted about me or she said something about me that he doesn’t wanna tell me. it was not a normal reaction to a simple question.
is there any way I can get over this without having to break up? It feels like my world is ending. he is my only friend. he is doing great in life. he can move on easily and will move on easily when I am gone. he said before he would just put himself more into work, friends and school and would just forget about me. I have nothing really. I do nothing all day as I don’t even have access to a job.
I just need advice on how to go about controlling my emotions when he’s around this girl and other potential friends.

2 years ago at my daughters 8th birthday, she had friends over to the bowling alley. Two of the parents who are not married started drinking and getting very touchy Feely and he grabbed her ass, not his wife and both his wife and her husband where not there. I brought it to my wife's attention and she said she did not care and said they are adults and this came up that I don't trust this guy and my wife is his wife's friend but did not say anything to her about what we witnessed. We where at a school function and he came up to My wife and hugged her. I was 5 ft away and he never said anything to me. I asked why she allowed him to put his hands on her and she said that she does not feel he has any bad intentions and has never acted that way to her. I told her how I felt what I witnessed and she said she was not going to make him feel awkward and make a big deal about it completely dismissing my feelings about him Touching her and her not setting boundaries. I have every right to tell her I don't want him Touching her after what I and others witnessed. The fact she is more concerned with making him uncomfortable has me feeling confused and upset. I have never told my wife to not be around someone but I have good reason especially since she did not tell his wife and told me she was not going to ruin and marriage and family over something she does nit know is all true lol I mean not only did I see but to other parents at the party witnessed this as well. It is really upsetting and now I asked we go to therapy because she wants me to communicate and I did and she totally has thrown this in my face and is not carying about why I said stay away from him. Please all thoughts on this are apreciated.

I posted on here before that my sister Mellissa losing her kids she has 7 in total katelynne is 19 kay din is 13 Lillianna is 11 Miracle is 6 zanders are 8 and Ransom and Rytheme are 2 years old today is their birthday the whole problem started in 2019 when Melissa found her old crush from school his name is Aron.
Aron and Melissa are dating i knew from day one I didn't like him he was controlling in my eyes all he ever did was tell Melissa what to do I noticed this when we all gathered at my sister Jessica's house early for Christmas since she wouldn't be in town
Jessica is married to a Mexican who I adore his name is Andres so normally every other Christmas and summer she would go with her son to Mexico to spend time with his family we were having a good time until he began texting and calling Melissa
he had been living with her that next year in 2020 we found out some disturbing things Melissa didn't want to get pregnant again so she had an IUD inserted in her arm to prevent her from getting pregnant what Aron would do was squeeze her arm to break the IUD so he can get her pregnant
In April of 2020, I moved into my sister's house i was previously living with my mom under her landlord's radar until I got accused of stealing clothes which is ridiculous and then I got banned so I moved into my oldest sister's Jessica house
Just a few days after moving in my sister Jessica came into my room and told me that Aron had beat up Melissa and it was bad she had bruises and gashes all over her from her beating on her and DCFS had gotten involved
DCFS told her that if she did not get rid of Aron she would have no choice but to take her kids away because of what happened his kids also displayed abuse his son was violent and his daughter would sit there and watch as Zander who is Autisic was getting dressed disturbing
Then in May of 2021 Ransom and Rytheme were born Ransom was born with Cleft feet while Rytheme was normal but Aron's control over her got worse during this time we got calls from the kids more and more often asking for Jessica to come to get them because they were scared
Aron and Melissa were fighting again Melissa was also an alcoholic so they would fight when they were mostly drunk is when the fights they both wanted to run the household when it should have been Melissa since it was her house
Then 2022 started we did not hear much of Melissa leading up to this year she came over on Christmas and it seemed she was still under his control she would pick up immediately after he would call this worried us because she was pregnant
January nothing February nothing then March happened Kaydon her 12 year old called us saying Melissa was drinking again and that he found an empty vodka bottle in her trash can we told him to tell his bio dad stevie and Stevie told her case worker
this was March 2nd of 2022 that year was very eventful if you ask me multiple false police calls from her on us threats from Aron stalking us because he didn't like that we had his kids and multiple false reports to DCFS from her about us citing that we were abusing the kids
all reports came back unfounded of the course she also posted on Facebook slandering Jessica saying that she always wanted her to have her kids taken away which wasnt true she had gotten her kids taken away and then we had to immediately find babysitters for the babies
Jessica worked so did Andres and I and Jessica had a deal when I moved in that i didn't have to babysit if I didn't want to as you can tell babysitting 2 infants a 5-year-old and a 7-year-old autistic child was not an easy thing to do
At first, our babysitter Brooklyn just quit babysitting Zander saying his meltdowns were way to much and then she quit watching the babies so i took over it was from April- to October of 2022 in between that time I had given a lot of my time up to babysitting i never got a day off
on top of making sure I fed and changed the babies while making sure the older kids got to bed on time I had to also clean the house and this was proven to be too stressful on me the fact Jessica's son Zion would always contradict me this would lead to fights we had
In August of 2022, they went on vacation for 6 days and this was a saving grace for me since i got 6 whole days to myself in September of 2022 I had gotten into a fight with Zion her husband was supposed to be off that day but he went somewhere with the older kids
so it was just me Zion and the babies Zion wanted to watch tv i said no he tried to snatch the remote from me and a fight happened the fight got so heated because he kept trying to follow me around if i went into the kitchen where he was the livingroom there he was the bathroom there he was
Finally, i went outside and he tried grabbing me until the neighbor came out he then went inside and locked me out of the house twice once back inside I yelled WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU DONT HAVE A RIGHT TO LOCK ME OUT AND THERE ARE BABIES IN THE HOUSE!!!" he then shoved me so I called Jessica
Jessica sped home and she laid it on him thick saying that she was taking his game until he learned to keep his hands off of me Andres came just in time to see him try and put his hands on Jessica and he beat up Zion Jessica had to pull him off of Zion
the next two months he just went on walks until his mom would be home until October I was putting all the same colors of play dough in the same container and my vape was by the tv so I could just grab it and go outside he purposely knocked it to the ground
I asked him about it and he blamed the 5-year-old for it but there were 2 problems to this story 1 -I had it scooted back to where the 5-year-old couldn't reach the vape and 2- the 5-year-old is smarter than most and knows not to touch it
this is when the final fight happened Andres had already left for work and Jessica was already at work I didn't want to fight with him so I told him to stop but he didn't want to be kept it up he started following me around the house but this time I chose to ignore I got hungry
so I went to grab a knife and a potato so I could cut up a potato i can make myself a baked potato and he grabbed a knife of his own this made me feel threatened so I called Jessica no answer i texted Jessica no answer so then I tried his andres I called him no answer I texted him no answer this was after I told the older kids to go to the playroom
after no answer, I called the police the police came Zions Dimbass went outside with the knife to talk to the police I told the officer what happened and he told his side of the story too not long after they left Jessica came home instead of her yelling at Zion for starting a fight she yelled at me
so the next day Jerry told me he wanted me to come to the hills and talk to him and at the same time I felt like she was going to make me move out she said she would pick Melissa's kids over me every time which upset me
so I went and got papers for Indian Hills and signed them she tried to backtrack as soon as DCFS said it was unfounded but I told her I did not want to babysit anymore so she had Stevie and Jen babysit This only lasted a month so November thru December
after they quit it was Ricky Katenynnes boyfriend who babysat Kateynee came now and then to help out but she had her job and Ricky did not follow any rules Jessica had some strict rules when it came to ways to babysit the baby
such as cleaning up the mess and not vaping around the babies if one of the kids is sick keeping them away from the babies and letting the babies sleep whenever they wanted Jessica didn't want them sleeping past 5 pm so they would have a sleep schedule
After Ricky quit due to him accusing Zion of looking up porn on the internet on one of the kid's tablets and being told that maybe he was the one doing it then Jessica tried to pressure me into babysitting again even though in October we sat down in the kitchen and i told her how I felt
then she told me she understood the deal we made and that the only time that she would ask me to babysit was for school stuff and doctor appointments and when she went to the boat that's what she calls the casino so she had to quit her job at the restraint so that she didn't have to worry
January and February we were living off of food pantries and behind on bills then mom mentioned on Addus and working for Travis and so she signed up went to orientation and now she works for Travis
now for the update :
last day of court was today and they told Melissa she will not be getting her kids back She is back on medicine and she is doing her classes but the one thing she was not doing was accepting the fact that it was Aron who got her kids taken
thank you Reddit for joining me on this wild ride

(M19) Tomorrow, I will do my maturita exam. And after that, I dont have any goals because they fell apart last month.
When I was 14, I met a girl in an archery club and I fell in love with her. We started dating but after ten days we broke up. She said she had felt too young for a relationship and I understood it. But she completely cut me off and later I found out that she pretended it so she wouldnt harm me. It was devastating for me and I was feeling depressed for like two years. Because I was encountering her quite frequently and just couldnt get over it. Since that moment, I became extremely introverted, had troubles with trusting people but mostly didnt have any self esteem.
Two years ago, an Ukrainian girl came to uor class (Czechia), she fled from the war. And she was the most beautiful person Ive ever seen. And I couldnt encounter her, I just couldnt because of the past. I became attached to her, I heavily idealized her. She was two months in our class. I had too many negative thoughts, how we wouldnt match, even though I didnt know her. Then Holidays came and I finally decided to encounter her the next school year. But she left to Prague, its on the opposite side of our country.
And since that moment, it was my greatest wish and goal to meet her again. And when I realized that there is a university I wanted to go, my plans began to form. And last summer I wrote her a poem that I would like to meet her. And to my greatest surprise, she agreed. And so I visited her and.. she was better than all my dreams. She was like me. Since that moment, Ive had the happiest part of my life. I visited her on Christmas and it was the best Christmas Ive ever had. I bought her a book and we enjoyed the day. She was visibly happy and I was so happy that we matched together so well.
She was my main motivation to everything, I dedicated my whole future to her. I sent only one application to university. I imagined how we will be together. She was the first girl I started to trust, I overcame all my negative thoughts. I became positive person so much that I convinced myself that she likes me and we will end up together. And in the moment when she sent me her photo sealed it all.
At the start of the last month, she told me that she has a boyfriend. It more than a month and a half and I just cant.. do anything. My greatest wish, my only goal broke. And now I will have to go to study to Prague because its my only choice. It will be painful, everything will remind her.. I wrote dozens of poems about her. I was so happy that it started to fit so nicely together and now.. I dont have anything. And I dont want anyone else, I dont want to be happy without her, I just lost an angel.
I explained everything to her and she understood, she let my to send her all my poems. She was the first one who didnt block me in this situation. She is the kindest person on the Earth. I wrote and sent her a new collection of poems afterwards and it ended there.
I am goind to do my maturita exams, Im one of the smartest students in my school, Im going to study nuclear physics and yet, I hate myself fot being so successful in my school life but I never wanted this. All I want is just love, I dont care if I will have a poor job, or if I will have children, or an expensive house or car, I only want someone who would love me. And all of that I saw in this one girl. And its gone. All my dreams..
My family tried to help me as much as they could.. but they dont know how to help me. I started visiting a psychologist and I take antidepressants. But nothing of it will bring me her back, nothing of it will bring me back the meaning of life, my goals, wishes, dreams.
I dont want to put up with it. I feel like life showed me the best of it and than took it from me. I feel like I wouldnt be ever satisfied with it, like from all the paths that I couldve taken, this one will forever hurt me.
And so, tommorow, my life will just end. And I dont know what to do.
I just so much regret not encountering her while she was in our class. I cant read my poems anymore because its so painful to me.
I worry that I wont be ever able to create such a strong bond to anyone else. Such a strong longig, a desire.

I am a 58-year-old male - culturally Greek, raised in Australia, migrated to the U.S. and have lived in NYC for over 20 years now. My parents raised my two older sisters – 9.5 years older with 3 children and 4 years older with two daughters, and myself, the only son and youngest of three, Down Under. I left my family in Australia upon moving to NYC in 2004 with my partner. It was tough leaving them behind because as dysfunctional as we were, we all loved each other.
Unfortunately, in the 8 year lead up to the pandemic – first, I lost my father to colon cancer; 2 years later my beautiful mother to vascular dementia; 2 years after that my 14 year marriage dissolved after my partner admitted he had been having an affair with a work colleague for several months; 1.5 years after that my middle sister and dear friend died from a brain aneurysm; followed by my eldest sister who died of lung cancer the following year.
I fell so ill from stress that I developed severe IBS and had to have emergency surgery. I thought I was going to die. If that wasn’t enough, I hadn’t even healed when I caught COVID; lost my job a few weeks later; and, then I managed to survived a home invasion during which I was assaulted and threatened with a knife but, somehow, I managed to get the two criminals out of my space in 7.5 minutes, without a single item stolen. I’ve been through a lot but I’ve always battled through.
My middle sister had two daughters, M1 aged 40, and M2 aged 38. Until my sister passed away in early 2018, I had a great relationship with M1. I was always there to support as she tended toward “unlucky in love” and was also diagnosed with lupus over a decade ago. Her mother and I were always solid support for her, and she would speak to me about any personal problem.
Her younger sister M2 is a very different character and was I was unable to build as strong a relationship – it was not purposeful nor deliberate. I made attempts and managed to get closer to her after she was married but she always tended to be more distant. As hard as I tried, M1 & I sensed that she somewhat resented my relationship with her older sister.
After my sister passed away suddenly aged only 56, we were all devastated. I flew in from NYC and was in Australia for 9 days for the funeral. I spent 7 of the 9 days with my brother-in-law (BIL) - a good man – and my two nieces M1 & M2. It was an emotionally draining stay, with a relentless stream of visitors to pay their respects.
I spent the other 2 days house-sitting for a dear friend which I gladly accepted to secure some peace and solitude. I slept at least 16-18 hours on each day. Upon returning to my BIL’s home for my final two days, M1 approached me and asked to speak to me outside in their back yard. She proceeded to tell me how very disappointed she was in me; that she felt I was an “absent mourner" and not supporting her in her grief in the way she expected; I was also not grieving "appropriately," and that her mother /my sister would be disappointed.
I had travelled 24 hours, in a blur, halfway across the globe to bury my sister and was now receiving bereavement advice from my niece. I told her to quit with the nonsense and that she should mourn her mother any way she likes, but she is not to tell me how I should conduct myself when I’m grieving.
Her voice quickly escalated, and she proceeded to then scream at the top of her voice about how disgusting I was that I wasn’t “there” to respect her mother; and be there for her. I reminded M1 that her mother, was also my sister and I knew her for a whole lot longer than she did. I also reminded her that staying for 7 of 9 days with her, does not constitute “being absent” in anybody’s language.
It was midnight, she continued to scream, yell, abuse me with neighbors being woken up on all sides. I stood up and decided to leave and not put up with her bullshit any longer. I walked inside and caught her sister, M2, ears to the door, listening to everything … and it made me realize they were bothin on this effort to publicly “dress me down”.
M2 proceeded to "stand with her sister" and yell at me, too. I was seriously flabbergasted by their accusations. My BIL certainly did not feel the same way and he told the girls to explain to him what their problem was!?! If there was a real problem – he should be the first to be complaining about me. Their anger and resentment was shocking, inexplicable and totally unfounded. I flew home to NYC two days later devastated not just at losing my beautiful sister - but at my nieces’ disgraceful performance.
In November 2020, I flew back to Australia to visit family for the holiday season as COVID enveloped the globe. I struggled to feel fully comfortable with my nieces, and one thing is for sure: they never apologized to me for their outburst at me less than two years prior. This time it was the festive season and I decided to stay some of the time at BIL's house. Upon arriving, I was shocked - the house was spotlessly clean, as my sister liked to keep it, and everything in the house was unchanged - everything was in the exact same spot, as the day my sister died. I was concerned, M1 was clearly struggling, not dealing with her mother’s death. Even her father, my BIL had started casually dating another woman, and I threw support behind him which he appreciated. M1, on the other hand, was vehemently against this, and refused to give her father’s new relationship her blessing.
Eventually, the inevitable happened – M1 starts to relay a story that I recognized as my own, and after a few erroneous details, I reminded her of the facts that she was actually deviating from. She literally exploded for not allowing her to relay my story… incorrectly.
Yet again, her screams and anger were so loud, that I actually saw neighbors peering over their fencing. She screamed at me to leave "her house" and that I was the devil. (I need to add here that both nieces became born again Evangelical Christians.) I reminded her that the house belonged to my sister & BIL, and she had no authority over whether I stay or not.
Her screams & verbal attack, (the second one now), was so loud, aggressive, and her enraged face so red, that she looked unhinged. I went to grab a mug to make a coffee and get as far away from her as I could. As my hand reached into the cupboard for a mug, she used the cupboard door to p.a. me I saw stars.I stared at her in shock and said: "You just p.a. your mother's brother," at which she just screamed even louder
My BIL arrived shortly after and I told him that I needed to leave. I gave him the facts and then told him: "She doesn't support your new relationship - not because its "too soon" - but because she's miserable and unhappy… and she begrudges anyone their happiness - it eats away at her." She screamed at him to throw me out until he yelled "Shut up!" at her. She then called us both devils and stormed into her room.
Now, a brief focus on M2. It was summer 2017, and M2 was due in November with her second child. Her husband is American and M2 moved here from Australia and were living in the Midwest. I attempted to build a closeness with her since she was living in the US. During a call to her in July 2017, she invited me for Thanksgiving that year to be with her family, as well as see her mothemy sister and BIL who were spending several weeks there to welcome their new grandchild.
I was so excited. I even told M2 that I would stay at a nearby hotel, so as not to burden them with a newborn at home. A few weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I called to confirm my dates, etc., and without missing a beat, she proceeds to tell me that it is now all too much for her and she retracted her invitation …I was dis-invited. I sat there in silence, in shock.
I had discretely asked my sister several weeks prior, whether she would consider visiting NYC with my BIL, even for a weekend, as they were going to be with M2 for over 6 weeks and were so close!
She said to me, "Do you think we haven't thought of that? We'd love to come to come to NYC and see you. But we'll never hear the end of it from ‘you-know-who’."
So, I spent Thanksgiving on my own, with no family in NYC, less than 1.5 hours flying time away from a warm, festive house that contained M2, her family, my BIL and my dear sister.
Less than 3 months later … my sister was dead. And I never got a chance to see her one last time.
That opportunity was taken from me without so much as an "I'm sorry that I did that to you." In fact, I never received an apology from either M1 nor M2 for all the things they did to me.
When I got back to NYC from the disastrous Aussie trip, M2 refused to communicate with me any further, so I knew M1 had been in her ear about our fallout and likely never even mentioned the p.a. I contacted her and mentioned that minimally, I expected her to at least hear me out.
Her response???
"In my experience, I would describe you the same way my sister would, so I tend to believe her, and my role now is to protect my family."
I replied, "What, so your family is in danger now? From me?!"
She curtly wrote: "I wish to focus on my family, my sister, and the Lord." ...or something to that effect.
I can genuinely, authentically state that I still have no idea why they turned so viciously nasty, so vindictive, and without sounding too dramatic – so evil towards me. I have my other nieces, family, friends to back me up wholeheartedly. It was ironic to me that the two evangelicals ended up being so mean-spirited, and emotionally abusive.
I knew I had to make a big decision, so I sought the counsel of some wonderful loved ones in my inner circle, and their guidance was unanimous: walk away from the toxicity. I knew I had no other choice. I have not spoken to my two nieces for four years now.
I posted this to see if others had similar experiences, and to gather feedback as to whether I *am* the a-hole for cutting my two nieces out of my life. AITA?

Long story short me (31m) and this girl(23f) were madly in love. The red flag was that she wanted to wait until she was comfortable enough to meet me in person. Also there were things through out the time that rubbed me the wrong way like deleting everything in her phone because it was a “habit”….also the fact that I tried searching her up on social catfish and could barley find a thing about her. She barely showed her whole face while FaceTiming and She said she is a virgin. But a year later we still havnt met and we broke up because of another girl on my part where she assumed I was cheating on her. We continued for about 3 more months but I can tell we were falling off. Now we have completely broken up and she has found someone new that she works with. They are together all the time and even have sleep overs. I’m almost positive they have had sex. I really loved this girl, but am I holding onto lost hope? My depression gets worse almost everyday. I know half the answers are gonna be “yeah bro you’re pretty dumb” but in all honesty, I fall hard. Idk why but I just fall for women alittle harder than the average guy. I need help re striking my young handsome ego again. I want to truly fall for a girl that likes me and not a girl that I just want. I have to understand that I need the confidence enough to know when I’m living my dream. And I need to be humble enough to know when I’m living someone else dream.

I hate school being autistic. I always am made fun of for wearing the same clothes every day, stimming, being "weird", and stuff like that. I have 3 "Friends" lets call them F, B, and L. F always makes fun of how I look, and act. I never realized this until I talked to my therapist about F and found out that she's making fun of me. L always crosses my boundaries; I tell her I'm not comfortable with her hugging me and just physical contact in general and she still hugs me and grabs my shoulders. B I feel like is my only true friend. She never comes to school though. I have never been the kind of person to just be able to make friends easily. I became friends with F when we were paired together for an project. I never spoke but slowly she was able to make me talk a bit, then I met L and B through F.
I am just overall burnt out. I wake up go to school for 8 hours, then I go to practice for 2 hours, then I study for 2 hours, eat dinner 1-hour, free time 1-hour, and go to bed. School is so exhausting; I don't understand anything. I go nonverbal the second I have to talk to someone its terrible. I need help just to write notes. It's so embarrassing. I have meltdowns and people make fun of me for it.
I never care to even get a gf or bf because I'm ugly and nobody likes me. The girl I have a crush on, lets call her A is also autistic, but shes more of the smart autistic. I just want to be normal. I'm not smart anymore. I used to be in gifted classes and now I'm not. The only thing I am good at is reading/writing and I'm not even that good at it either. My grades are terrible, and my parents scold me for it.
Is anybody else feeling like this?

I (17f) recently went on a trip that lasted about a week (5 days). One of these days fell on April 1st. Although not widely celebrated in every single country some people from my country do it as a way to be funny.
Now we all had a set amount of money we were given for the day and what was left over would be added to the next day's amount. Our chaperones, two teachers and one of the teachers husband's were the only adults on this trip and they were obviously tasked with keeping the money and keep it safe.
We were at a concert when the mood suddenly changed and one of our chaperones said we had to get back to our lodging.
We were told that someone had stolen the money and they were searching the rooms.
Me and my two roommates had been together all day and knew neither one of us did it so we weren't freaking out like the others.
They found the person who stole the money but didn't tell any of us who it was. Emotions were high and everyone was pissed off at having their night of fun end because someone stole money we worked hard to get.(All of us worked and promoted the hell out of things just to be able to afford the trip)
My roommates and I decided to go take a shower because we had been sweating like pigs because of the heatwave that was running through the town we were in. It was a I'd dance in the rain if it came type of heat.
While in the shower one of the younger girls (I'm calling her Mia for privacy reasons) came in and asked us if we knew who stole the money.
We said no and she proceeded to tell us that this other girl (Jennie for privacy) was telling everyone it was Mia's best friend.
Now I will be the first to admit. I do not get along with Jennie. We were in the same middle school and she made me an outcast because I was interested in the old traditions of Halloween. Everyone I knew at school said it was something the devil used so that he could run around and do whatever he wants. I was called a satan worshipper because I was stuck in a school with a bunch of not so good Christians. Another instance was when she scrutinized me because I knew about the Gods of Greek Myhtology and said that I would be willing to worship them because of their values. (This was because we had a discussion in class about greek mythology and it's influence on the world past and present). She was not happy about it and kept making snide remarks and judging me.
I'm short, round, blonde and I make myself known. I really don't need to be judged by someone who had a stick up there.
There are other instances where we didn't get along but these two were the biggest reasons because honestly if you're going to call me a Satanist at the least you could get the pire ready.
Anyway, I was raised that innocent till proven guilty, and since no one knew who had done it she couldn't make comments.
I said as much. I also said that she should keep her nose out of it because it wasn't her place because what if it wasn't her and the girl's name was being dragged for something she didn't do? Rumors spread fast and true or not you still get judged for them.
Jennie came into the bathroom and told me to say it to her face instead of behind her back. I did. She got pissed.
Found out it was Mia's friend and only after some whole dramatized spiel of were sending her home, she would be expelled and us wondering if there was something we could do to help her if she was having financial troubles at home.
We were told about it being a prank and just as we got over the shock Jennie looked at me and my friend and said she demanded an apology from the both of us.
My friend also voiced her opinion in the bathroom by I have a pair of lungs, I speak a whole lot more and I'm the only one who had beef with herdue to past events.
I didn't apologize and neither did my friend because, A) Jennie wasn't in on the prank so she showed us her true colours by going around and telling everyone about it. She showed everyone she had made friends with that she was willing to throw them to the wolves if it meant she could have the spotlight. B) Had the scenario been real and I was the one who stole I would have liked for someone to stand up for me in my absence.(A I did a bad thing but I don't deserve to have my name dragged through the mud) Mia and her friend are both 15, Jennie is 19 going 20 (this is true she was held back in kindergarten twice). They are shy and get intimidated easily by older years and Jennie is imposing as f*ck. C)Younger girls are chatty some of them had already messaged some of their friends and told them what Jennie said. 20 people are going to think Mia's friend stole the money before they find out it's a prank.
I don't think I was in the wrong but I recently told this story to one of my other friends and she said I should have apologized because while I was advocating for someone else's right to privacy I was simultaneously hurting someone else's reputation by branding them a liar and a generally untrustworthy person with no sense of boundaries.
So AITA?

So I’ve been talking to this girl off and on for 3 months at college. we hung out and few times then we’d make plans and she would cancel or have something come up so I would see her at parties mostly and we’d talk most the party or talk for a minute and then she’d go with her friends but when I talked to her I would ask her why she cancels or is she even trying to talk to me truly and she would say she does want to talk and she would just say I’m playing games or that I’m talking to other girls and she doesn’t like that. But I try to tell her that I’m actually not talking to any other girls. I have a couple friends that are girls but I’m not talking to anybody else so the last party she kinda understood that and we talk for like an hour straight at the party and she hugged me before she left and then since then she’s been hugging me and touching me a lot everytime we hang out or she’ll rest her head on me for a second but then I talked to her before I left school to know where we stood and I asked her for her feelings and she said she doesn’t know and you can tell she was getting flustered or she just didn’t know how to explain her then she said she wants somebody to fit her life so i asked do you know want to be able to fit in your life and she said yeah so I asked do you want me in your future and she said yeah so I was ok well that tells me what I need so I left it at that. So I go home we talk here and there every other day or so, I asked to call her last week and we FaceTimed for a few hours and then I was talking to her sister to while we were on the phone just chilling and then she took a picture of me and her sister was making fun of her and then the girl I’m talking to was like “it was cute ”then the girl was telling her sister that I try to get her to talk about her feelings with me and then her sister was like “good luck with that cause she never knows what she want” which I kinda knew already. but then she was saying she’s tired and she said call me tomorrow when you get home from my workout so I was ok so I texted her when I got home and asked if she was awake cause I sent her a snap and she usually opens it in the morning but she didn’t and then I didn’t hear from her for like 2 hours after and she was like “yeah im awake I just have a headache so I’m laying in bed” so I was oh ok well I can you later if you want to get rid of your headache and she responded 2 hours later saying give me a sec cause I need to go help somebody with something so I was alright just call me later if you want if not like it’s cool so then she had some family stuff going on and she texted me about it. I was confused by how she was saying it like I didn’t know if she was trying to say she can’t call or she just wanted to talk about it. So I was ok like “I get it. You’re good handle what’s going on and if you need to talk I’ll be here or if you need space I can give it to you. You just let me know what you need” she left me on read so I was alright ima just step back from the situation so I didn’t talk to her for a couple days and she goes “wyd” like two nights later and I was nothing really right now but wyd” Nothing back from her So I’m like alright. I text her the next day cause I had a question for her sister and I didn’t want to just call her cause she goes to sleep early sometimes so I texted her like “are you awake still?” Nothing again. The next day I call her just to check in and then she let it ring for awhile and then declined which is fine cause she might be busy but then she don’t call back or text back so I’m like I know you seen it and there’s just no communication and in the mean time she hasn’t really been snapping on Snapchat but like she’s done that since like the last week I was at college. But then also I posted something on my Snapchat last night and then she slid up and was like and she was playful making fun of it cause it was a funny thing so I went back and was playfully making fun of her and then nothing again.

Me and my partner have been together for four, almost five years and we are long distance. we have never met.
this will be a very long read but it honestly doesn’t even sum up everything. there’s been so much more stuff with terrible abusive details and so much emotion that I cannot capture in this post. I also could not explain everything to detail and left out a lot about this girl im eventually going to mention in this post and have left out a lot about other stuff my bf has done and said to me.
to preface, me and my bf both are not in therapy. He is going to therapy in a few months. He is in college and has friends, while I have no friends.
I have a lot of jealousy issues and insecurities. my boyfriend has messed up countless times with his friends. he’s broken a million boundaries over and over throughout this whole relationship. he says he can’t get better. he says he needs me to be more appreciative of the good things he does and to stop getting so mad when he hurts me. any time I talk to him about the bad stuff, he victimizes himself, brings up things I did in the past that I no longer do, gaslights me, manipulates me and tries to break up with me. when he breaks boundaries with people, he just breaks up with me and gets super mad. every boundary broken has been with girls.
he’s emotionally cheated, lied a billion times, hid things a billion times, done things I tell him make me uncomfortable with other people, ranted (talked shit) about me to his friends a billion times but left out all the things he’s done to provoke me and abuse me..and through all of that he has yelled at me and cried and blamed me. I am always very up front about my boundaries and try to be stern every single time.
so through all of that, I have horrible trust issues and insecurities. now we are having issues with this girl in his hometown at his work. he did substances with her, hid it, lied about it, and since then he has made her a HUGE deal. I told him one of my boundaries is not hanging out with people nor being their friend if you’ve messed up boundaries with them intentionally. all of the boundaries I have placed are ones that I follow as well by the way.
he told me he can’t get rid of her because she works with him and can’t find another job and doesn’t want to find another job (it’s a summer job). he wanted to hang out and explore abandoned places with her like the last time they hung out for six hours and also did substances and other stuff at her place. he cried and complained and started about 6 different big fights with most of them resulting in him trying to break up with me or breaking up with me for a few hours to a day.
this girl has a boyfriend but I have this gut feeling she likes him but I could be totally wrong! Like I said, I have really bad jealousy and insecurities but with that comes paranoia. I don’t think every girl likes my bf but there has to be signs and I guess my mind has convinced me there are “signs”.
the signs are: she followed him on Facebook, added him on snapchat, has him on discord and instagram.
she only followed my boyfriend despite knowing I exist.
she only follows my boyfriend and three other people (who are famous). she does not follow her boyfriend on that account.
she friended me on Facebook so I asked her why she friended me on facebook and not instagram (where she always talks to my bf) because she knows I exist on instagram but she said she didn’t notice she wasn’t following me which just feels complete lie. I asked then was asking why she only followed him , (a few famous people), and did not have her bf on this account. she said she has multiple accounts but she was snappy and rude when she responded to me saying stuff like “can’t I follow who I want to what’s the problem here lol” and stuff. I asked a simple question, I wasn’t rude or anything. she apologized for being rude a few minutes later and then went to my boyfriend while he was working (she was in to grab some food) and she told him she thinks I hate her because she was rude to me and didn’t want me thinking she’s a “fucking bitch”. her words told from him to me.
Since my boyfriend said he cannot leave or distance since they work together and it would be too awkward he tried breaking up with me multiple times and said this summer would be miserable with him because all ill do is complain and cry about being anxious with what he has caused. I told him to just be distant and he agreed to.
he had ended up telling her im uncomfortable with them hanging out because she kept begging him to hang out again and he didn’t think it was fair to not explain why he keeps saying no to her. he told her he slipped up on a boundary with her and that I don’t allow it. it made me sound so shitty and he refused to explain my side of why im uncomfortable in more details like I begged and then when I tried to explain it to her (I ended up just not sending it) he kept telling me to cut out parts that make him look bad and that she “doesn’t need to know everything about our relationship”. so I know she thinks im a shitty partner now and I know she does not like me but she doesn’t know anything he’s done.
the day before yesterday was his first day back to work for summer break and they only worked together for about an hour and thirty minutes but still managed to talk quite a bit. she also came up to him and said she wishes they could still hang out and that she’s sad or something about it despite knowing im uncomfortable and that we’ve already made it clear that wouldn’t be happening. She also asked him if they were still good (she was definitely asking because there’s tension between me and her even though her and I like don’t really talk, I’ve also tried inviting her to play games with me and my bf online before he messed up with her and she refused every time and wouldn’t reschedule but then she wants to play games alone with him.) then he asked her if he could get his cigarettes back that he gave her. he says he can’t help talking to her at work because he doesn’t want to be rude and that it’s hard to avoid her.
Today they are currently working together and it’s only been a few hours yet so far she’s come up to his register behind him and looked at his phone, talked a bit and told him she could try and get him a free electric guitar, gave him a piece of gum without asking, showed him pictures of her and her boyfriend at a prom event, talked about working out, etc. Doesn’t sound like much maybe but it hurts when you’ve asked him to distance himself and it was barely half of his first shift and all that has already been done. and not to mention she was stocking while my bf was on register so she kept coming out of her way to talk to him.
if I complain, he just wants to break up. I wish she knew why I don’t want them hanging out. he made me sound like im just a toxic girlfriend. I can’t explain anything to her without him threatening to like cut and kill himself and break up with me.
if I break up with him they’re just gonna hang out all summer and he do god knows what and talk shit about me for sure. he would never explain what he’s done. I’ll look even worse. I just want peace but my heart is breaking. I don’t want to victimize myself but I have such a big heart, i believe in and love god, I love with my whole heart, I try to see good in people, I gave him everything I had and im still trying to pull more out of me. it feels like it’ll never be enough. I know he will forget about me because last summer we were on break and he said he let himself “slip” up and looked at a girl who came into the store with lust and full attraction because he was trying to imagine his life without me. he didn’t even tell me because he didn’t think he needed to since we were on break. He recently told me maybe a month ago. the break lasted like two days and it was because our relationship was so bad and he did not love me anymore. there have been multiple times he has not loved me but it was always because of my reactions to his abuse.
I’ve never not once stopped loving him and I’ve never once found anybody else attractive while I’ve been with him, not even celebrities. I’ve tried to warn him a thousand times that if he breaks boundaries again or hurts me some other way, I’ll be done. he just does it like he breathes. he says he feels remorse but he just always does it again. he said he feels better without me because im always hurting him. I “hurt” him by reacting to his abuse, asking him questions about things he’s done, asking him if he’s broke boundaries with his friends when he’s with them, etc. His first day of work this summer I was asking him questions about the girl and he was so defensive. I still feel like something else happened like he ranted about me or she said something about me that he doesn’t wanna tell me. it was not a normal reaction to a simple question.
is there any way I can get over this without having to break up? It feels like my world is ending. he is my only friend. he is doing great in life. he can move on easily and will move on easily when I am gone. he said before he would just put himself more into work, friends and school and would just forget about me. I have nothing really. I do nothing all day as I don’t even have access to a job.
I just need advice on how to go about controlling my emotions when he’s around this girl and other potential friends.

So I’ve been talking to this girl off and on for 3 months at college. we hung out and few times then we’d make plans and she would cancel or have something come up so I would see her at parties mostly and we’d talk most the party or talk for a minute and then she’d go with her friends but when I talked to her I would ask her why she cancels or is she even trying to talk to me truly and she would say she does want to talk and she would just say I’m playing games or that I’m talking to other girls and she doesn’t like that. But I try to tell her that I’m actually not talking to any other girls. I have a couple friends that are girls but I’m not talking to anybody else so the last party she kinda understood that and we talk for like an hour straight at the party and she hugged me before she left and then since then she’s been hugging me and touching me a lot everytime we hang out or she’ll rest her head on me for a second but then I talked to her before I left school to know where we stood and I asked her for her feelings and she said she doesn’t know and you can tell she was getting flustered or she just didn’t know how to explain her then she said she wants somebody to fit her life so i asked do you know want to be able to fit in your life and she said yeah so I asked do you want me in your future and she said yeah so I was ok well that tells me what I need so I left it at that. So I go home we talk here and there every other day or so, I asked to call her last week and we FaceTimed for a few hours and then I was talking to her sister to while we were on the phone just chilling and then she took a picture of me and her sister was making fun of her and then the girl I’m talking to was like “it was cute ”then the girl was telling her sister that I try to get her to talk about her feelings with me and then her sister was like “good luck with that cause she never knows what she want” which I kinda knew already. but then she was saying she’s tired and she said call me tomorrow when you get home from my workout so I was ok so I texted her when I got home and asked if she was awake cause I sent her a snap and she usually opens it in the morning but she didn’t and then I didn’t hear from her for like 2 hours after and she was like “yeah im awake I just have a headache so I’m laying in bed” so I was oh ok well I can you later if you want to get rid of your headache and she responded 2 hours later saying give me a sec cause I need to go help somebody with something so I was alright just call me later if you want if not like it’s cool so then she had some family stuff going on and she texted me about it. I was confused by how she was saying it like I didn’t know if she was trying to say she can’t call or she just wanted to talk about it. So I was ok like “I get it. You’re good handle what’s going on and if you need to talk I’ll be here or if you need space I can give it to you. You just let me know what you need” she left me on read so I was alright ima just step back from the situation so I didn’t talk to her for a couple days and she goes “wyd” like two nights later and I was nothing really right now but wyd” Nothing back from her So I’m like alright. I text her the next day cause I had a question for her sister and I didn’t want to just call her cause she goes to sleep early sometimes so I texted her like “are you awake still?” Nothing again. The next day I call her just to check in and then she let it ring for awhile and then declined which is fine cause she might be busy but then she don’t call back or text back so I’m like I know you seen it and there’s just no communication and in the mean time she hasn’t really been snapping on Snapchat but like she’s done that since like the last week I was at college. But then also I posted something on my Snapchat last night and then she slid up and was like and she was playful making fun of it cause it was a funny thing so I went back and was playfully making fun of her and then nothing again.

It’s been about two years since all this happened, and after a lot of thought I eventually came to my own conclusion that I wasn’t in the wrong. At the same time, I never really told anyone about it so feel free to change my mind if need be.
To start off, this was in 2022 when I (22F) had been best friends with this person for about 8 years on and off because she was very emotionally immature and would get mad/upset a lot even just for me not replying fast enough, block and stop talking to me for long periods of time. I’ll refer to her as Daisy(21F). She had just reconnected with me and added me into a group chat with her and a male friend of hers I’ll call David(26M). Turns out this was a guy who she had met on Tinder a year prior, but they pretty much quickly realized they were better off purely as good friends because there was no romantic/sexual energy. Nothing ever happened between them. She kept friendship with David while still looking for a boyfriend, and found one awhile later. They had been dating for about 6 months by the time she reconnected with me.
Fast forward a few months, the four of us all meet up at the beach to celebrate Daisy and I’s birthdays since they’re a few days apart. After the beach, it’s late and we all go back to David’s apartment. Daisy and her boyfriend decide to leave and go back to her place, I say I’m fine staying at David’s place for the night since I live an hour away, he doesn’t mind. I’ll spare the gory details but we were both tired and had been drinking, he only has one bedroom with no spare blankets or pillows so we slept in his bed and things happened. Next day, Daisy finds out because she asks what we did that night and I guess it was hard to hide in our reactions because she sniffed it out quick. She was angry but mostly let it go for the time being, until we had unrelated problems a few weeks later(of course) and she brings it up again. Tells me I “fucked her bestfriend” and was trying to “take him away from her” repeatedly implying I’m always trying to take the attention away from her (she has admitted multiple times in the past about her jealousy of me because she was very overweight and insecure for a long time) and calling me a whore, slut, telling me to die etc. Even accused me of sleeping with her boyfriend, despite there being no point in time I was ever alone with him. I barely even interacted with him.
I found it really odd that she was in a committed relationship, but possessive and jealous over the attention of another man whom she explicitly chose not to be with like that, and even told me in front of him she was not attracted to him in any way. I didn’t respond to her texts berating me and it’s been two years no contact which I intend to keep it that way for my own sanity. AITA? (Sorry the formatting is bad, im on mobile and new to this)

I (29F) was selling stuff at a fare and I had my miniature dachshund (2F) with me. This is a fair that happens annually in my city and pets are encouraged to join. I gave my dog a bone, so she’d stay preoccupied and not mess up my display. My dog is the sweetest, she will kiss strangers and she never makes a peep, however if she has a bone she may protect it verbally, never attacking though, so just growling and then moving away from the person.
When we were sitting by my display, my dog was right beside me on short leash eating her bone, a girl (10ish) came up from behind us trying to pet my dog. When my dog sensed someone moving behind us she immediately jumped up with bone in mouth and growled at the girl in warning. This was the first time I noticed the girl. She hadn’t asked me if she could pet my dog or approach us, but her hand was outstretched toward my dog and she was kneeling down. Now I apologized to her for my dog growling and said the dog isn’t mean just protective of the bone, and then I told her to always ask permission before approaching a dog not just show up behind the owner without warning. The girl looked a bit shaken but she left after I told her this.
Not 10min later her mother comes storming over demanding I control my beastly dog. At this point my dog had finished her bone and was napping next to me, calm as can be. I was a bit baffled but then she said I had scared her kid and that I should never have told her kid off. I repeated the events to the mother and expressed concern that her kid approaches unfamiliar dogs without permission or even acknoledgement of her presence. The mother got even more annoyed and yelled some more. Eventually she left us alone and we got the enjoy the rest of the fair, with my dog getting many scratches and compliments from other people.
Now, I don’t think I did anything wrong, but quite a few passersby gave me looks when the mother was telling me off and a while after as well. Did I do something wrong? Should I have done something differently?
*edit: spelling

Sorry if this not well written, I don´t come from a English speaking country.
This made me really sad and upset. I (21) come from a large family, I love them a lot so this situation hurt me. I have a cousin (21F) that I will call Maia that had her birthday last week. We were supposed to go celebrate the exact same they her birthday was as a family, but ultimately got cancelled.
All of this started the day before her birthday. It was a Friday, we both go to the same university but we are studying different things, have mixed schedules and can only see each other that day because we both get out of class late and her mom takes me home (she takes me because my mom asked her to).
So the trip got cancelled days before because my mother wanted to take all the family to her birthday celebration and she did not wanted it to happen. So I asked her if she wanted her gift right then and there or if there was a possibility of seeing each other the next day at a smaller celebration or something and she told me to give it to her tomorrow since we were going to a bowling alley together so I complied and put the gift back in my backpack. She also told me that the celebration that got cancelled wasn't really cancelled but postponed to the end of the month so everyone could go together. I didn't think much of it because I thought she was not that type of person and waited for her mom to pick us up and we both went home. the next day we were supposed to leave at the afternoon slash night because she works the morning shifts I decided to ask her when we were leaving around the hour that she was leaving work so I didn't interfere with her performance and I had time to work in school projects and other stuff to make my evening free. She and her mom were supposed to pick me up since I don't drive and they agreed to it the night before but she answered me 3 hours later telling me that they were going to the bowling alley and that they had already left so they were going without me. I felt hurt Because if they told me earlier I could figure out a way to go with them without having them to pick me up but she decided to tell me when she was already there I didn't say anything and I wish her a happy birthday and to have a great time and I decided to go to sleep early.
Later in the week I went with my mom and my aunt to the supermarket and they were talking about the issue they were upset too because they never told anyone about the trip not the planification not that it was cancelled and then rescheduled nobody knew anything they learn by accident because they were talking in the living room and people heard them talking about it and ask about the matter. they were saying that every time we go out and they are not able to go out with us my mom always finds a way to take all the immediate family by paying or rescheduling or changing her schedule at work to make it work for everyone so having them been secretive in trying to leave without anyone and then like telling lies to others was kind of suspicious. I didn't say anything at the moment because sometimes you do want to go out without all your family but come on you were talking loudly about something in front of the people that you were trying not to take with you to a trip at least be secretive about it.
I was planning to give my cousin her birthday gift the next Friday when I saw her after my classes but my classes got cancelled so I did not see her that day, And today I learned that the trip that got rescheduled for the end of the month so everyone in the family could go together happened today and only her and the people that were actually excluding the rest of the family went together. I was talking to her during the week because I think of her as a sister, so again I felt very hurt because she didn't tell me anything and people had been telling me that I shouldn't give her her gift. Our mutual friends find all the situation weird and suspicious and are telling me that maybe I shouldn't give her anything since she decided to not tell me anything about the trip and the places that they were going together. I have been thinking about it too because the fact that she told me twice about trips and then decided to leave without me and tell me afterwards that they were going without me it's kinda hurtful because why would you tell me in the 1st place if you then are going to live without me? don't tell me and it would be fine if you go without me but don't tell me to go and then leave without me.
Sorry if its difficult to read,I really don't know what to do, because she is still my cousin and even if she doesn't feel the same i love her dearly, but the situation it's very weird.

One day you're gonna realize how bad you treated the only person who would love you unconditionally. One day you're gonna realize how I got into your life by surprise, how you were nothing but an ordinary, with nothing special even to your own eyes... But I saw you, for who you are, caring, sweet, fun... a person worth loving and worthy of everything good...
But the thing is... you're not good. You're selfish, immature and insensitive. You took everything I had to give you, and gave me nothing in return, didn't appreciate me, pushed me away love bombed me, emotionally manipulated me, guilty tripped me... hurt me deeply, telling me constantly that you weren't ready to a relationship but still wanted to keep me, telling me how you were hurting for you ex and comparing me to her, to the point of telling me our relationship was a sacrifice to you. And when I finally had the courage to end things because it was the best for both of us, you didn't think twice before jumping into the arms of some other girl, while I was left to wonder how could you forget about me that fast, like I was never special to you, when I was here struggling to forgive myself for letting you go when I still loved you, only because I wanted you to heal and be okay. And you went from girl to girl only hurting yourself trying to replace me and only proving my point, that you'll never find anyone like me ever again. That no woman will ever love you like I did, because you... you don't know how to love yourself or how to love others.
And after months you had the audacity to come back into my life and ask for fogginess so we could move on, and offer me friendship and I was foolish enough to accept it. Only for you to pull me closer, then start giving me mixed signals that weren't even about me... I don't get why someone would say stuff like that to an ex if not to give them hopes or then just to hurt them again... And to think that I still liked you after all this. How foolish am I? To hope that we could still somehow work together... To still want to give you all my love and prove to yourself that you are worth it. How wrong was I...
But I see that I was never wrong, maybe my mistake was being to good, that my heart is too pure even after being hurt all my life. But this is the last time, I wont trust so easily again... And you, I hope you do, and I hope it goes wrong over and over again, and I hope that one day you look back, and see what you did. Because you see... I am an amazing woman, I'm loving, caring, beautiful, hot and sexy, fun, wise, cheerful, talented, hardworking, faithful, calm... I'm unique, and my love is unconditional. And you... won't ever find it again. Your loss, because I will go on, because I don't depend on anyone to be happy, I'll be amazing by myself, I'll get everything I want in life.

I (f19) and my ex (f20) have been on and off since we were 15. for back ground, twice while we were off she went a screwed off with a person who expressed interest before we broke up. just pulling hoes she claimed she would never like out her back pocket. so we were kinda ina ok place. right when we started back communicating we were talking to other people and she slept with one girl in particular… we eventually were only talking to only each other. for weeks she had been breadcrumbing that the girl followed her on social media and how we look alike and i would just ignore it everytime. so we dont talk for a couple days as we do. she texts me to tell me that the girl asked her on a date. she was supposed to be blocked. this is her third time doing this exact thing to me. she told me i was overreacting because at least she told me this time. when i went to go get my things, i took oatmeal and cracker crumbs put it in the bed. dog food (a hand full i love the dog) oil on the mirrors, took the sexy toys, cable box, the roku everything js so she would have the inconvenience of coming to my house to get it. i didn’t ruin anything. i made sure they were all cheap fixes no property ruined even though yes it was wrong i know that part but i dont agree i was THEE asshole. she comes to my house and gets her stuff and she’s yelling in my face. shes a very angry person but never violent with me before just doors walls etc. she says i gotta clean all this shit i said “thats the point” and she punched me in my eye. i politely whooped her ass. her mom in response to me saying her daughter hit me said, she hope she beats my ass. all these years i let her call me out my name, punch holes in the wall, tell me to die, breaking my stuff in arguments i did this and yea its wrong i know but she called me yelling about how she hates me because i told her mom and the girl that she hit me. she said i was acting like she hits women like she had no reason. she also said that my actions prove why she should have js kept it a secret.this girl has tried to drive us off a bridge before and i NEVER punched her. am i the asshole for what i did. i did feel terrible but i felt i needed to do something for once. a grand finale of sorts lol

AIW for having sexual fantasies about my family members after being sexually abused ?
To be extremely clear, this is very serious and real. I am a 21 year old male, living in the US with a very nice “life” good friends, good in school, promising future, strong relationships. Etc.
Edit: I would ask that you don’t downvote, I really need the feedback. I would rather you tell me I’m a sick monster than downvote.
I have made a post about this in the past, but nobody seemed to answer my question. If you want to read that version it’s on my profile.
TLDR at the bottom. This is a throwaway account because I am so deeply ashamed and conflicted.
To make a long story short I will begin with my own abuse.
When I was around 7 or 8 my older brother who was 10 or 11 taught me how to masturbate and even did it for me on a couple occasions. He then escalated into having us masturbate together and watching porn. I was so young I barely remember what I was thinking. This progressed over the next 1-2 years to him introducing the idea of kissing each other and then eventually pleasuring each other orally with it ending with attempted penetration. I was around 10 and he was around 13. This was only on a couple occasions and eventually ceased when I was about 12 and he was about 15. This was when he was starting to go to high school and meeting girls. I began acting out around this time and he gave up on me completely, acted like I didn’t exist. I never felt wrong about the sexual actions and felt it was pretty normal, didn’t think about it that often.
Here is where my issue lies. From the time I was 13 until about 20, I would have these recurring hypersexual thoughts about a lot of women. This is common I believe, however, included in these thoughts/fantasies were some of my own family members. Most often (doesent mean it was often in general) it would be my sister who is 2 years younger. I was not obsessed with her by any means but when her body started changing I took notice and instead of feeling disgusted I just hid my feelings. Not like I had a crush or anything and I fully understood it was unacceptable to touch her or try to play this out in reality However, on occasion when I would dwell on some of the physical “attraction” or excitement for more than a couple seconds I would masturbate to clear my mind, and immediately go back to operating “normally”. I never once felt guilty about this or even thought twice about it until later in life when I started to mature and look back on certain behaviors. I also entered some relationships and noticed some general sexual dysfunction.
I guess I justified it because the horny feelings were there and it was no crime to masturbate to these fantasies, another thing I think contributed to this was porn addiction. Just about every video I watched or saw on any porn site was incxst themed. This contributed to me thinking it was pretty normal and other people must be having these thoughts/feelings as well. And as long as I don’t harm anybody I was just fine. I think I considered these fantasies just as normal as fantasizing about anybody else which I did plenty of. Maybe even something that we would all laugh about in our later stages of life.
There is a very mixed reaction from the internet and I am just looking for opinions. I’m am searching for your guys opinions on my specific experience because for some reason I went from feeling like this was a normal perfectly fine stage of development to feeling like a disgusting perverted monster because of how certain people view this, including myself.
I understand this is a hard topic. Please don’t tell me to go seek therapy or “this is above reddits pay grade”. Because for 1. I am already in therapy working through my whole childhood including this, and for 2. I don’t want to hear from only a professional, I would like to hear judgements from “normal” people, because that’s who I’ll be dealing with for the rest of my life and their opinions matter just as much as anybody else’s.
I am open to any and all opinions/advice, even if you don’t relate. If you feel these were all my fault and I’m the one who’s the sick dirty person, on a similar level to pedophiles or rapists then please tell me, if you think I am deserving of understanding, let me know also.
Thanks for reading I’m sorry if I wrote a lot, I’m in a lot of distress right now and I can’t stop thinking of that.
Last thing just to clarify once more. Nobody I know has any idea of this besides my mom whom I confided in. Nobody would even suspect something like this because outwardly I am very composed. I have never attempted to touch or seduce any of these people I fantasized about and they were all close in age.
TLDR: aiw for being aroused by thoughts of sexual acts with family members.
Edit: if you know anywhere else I could post this for some more feedback that would be greatly appreciated, thanks again, sorry if I grossed you out :( but I am real and my situation exists, I don’t know where else to turn I’m terrified what friends or future partners would think.

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and most things work perfectly fine. My birthday was not so long ago and he made a really cute surprise so overall the relationship is fine, but there is a thing that bothers me a lot: his following habits. We just talked once about this topic when he followed his ex, I asked him and he told me of course he wouldn’t talk to her and that it was her who had a problem (she blocked him when she knew we got together); he also told me he will tell me if she ever tries to talk to her, this did not happen as it was like almost 8 months ago so she did not even text him ever. I got myself over this and believed that it was just whatever as maybe she already got over him (they were dating for a month lmao).
He placed a boundary about how even texting someone in a flirty way is cheating, which seems reasonable and fine. But he keeps following girls and I dont know if he stands by what he told me. I wont ever snoop through his phone or whatever as he seems pretty open with showing me things idk. I know the answers are gonna be that I need to trust him, I cant control him etc… but it is making me uneasy.
I suspect he just follows random girls to get follow backs because when they follow him, he tends to delete them from his following, so yeah. It is still weird and I dont want to sound controlling. I also understand social media is not real life and that I should focus on what its tangible (my relationship with him) but yeah its pretty difficult as i am a bit paranoid.
How can this situation be approached? I dont want to feel bothered and I understand going crazy over some social media is pretty lame and childish? Or maybe im just too blinded to see?
Thanks in advance!!
TLDR; boyfriend follows girls and it makes me wonder if he is doing something bad behind my back even if he established reasoned boundaries on cheating.

I and my ex-boyfriend have in a relationship for 4 years.we started dating in 2020. In the start of this relationship, everything was just amazing and pure. He loved me wholeheartedly and i did too. We were in a happy relationship for a year but then one day a girl texted me that my ex boyfriend is flirting with her when she didn't flirted back he started harrassing her. I confronted him immediately and told him I would not accept something like this and started ignoring him but after 2-3 days he apologized and told me it was a drunken mistake he will never do it again . He explained and I gave him a chance.
We were in a good relationship after that incident for few months then he started asking for money. I spoiled him with gifts and all but he kept asking for money , and I was so stupid that I kept giving him the money and he never returned them. And whenever I refused to give him money he would ignore me for days and suddenly come back that nothing has happened. It continued for a year.
In January 2023 he asked money again and i refused and I was determined to not give him anything. But all he did was, Gaslight me and told me that I never supported him in any way I can never be a good girlfriend and he insulted me alot that day. So that day I broke up with him blocked him from all the social media handles and my best friend support me throughout this but I loved him too much so i started talking with him again in April 2023 and we cleared everything between us that how sorry he was and he never meant any of that shit and he kept telling me how much he loves me and everything so i decided to forgive him again. So we started dating again in April 2023 on our 3rd anniversary. In August i planned a date for him and and invited him to a pizza place near his home because he loved pizza. He said he would be there at 6pm and I kept waiting for him until 8. But he never showed up, i called him like a thousand time but he never picked it up. So I went home. Texted him that I am breaking up with him because he can never love me like he used to be and he will never prioritise me and will never care for me.and he started threatening that he will commit suicide if i broke up with him and I was so scared that i blocked him.
Yeah, I am an asshole. In October i unlocked him and he texted me we started talking again and we again became a couple in December until 2 months ago. I saw him with another girl. I asked him about it but he lied about it and told me that i must have seen some one else. I never liked that girl and she always flirted with him and she was always touching him inappropriately , and he was with her . I was hurt once again. He told him to stay away from me I need to re-think everything and should probably break up too but next day he texted me saying he wanted to have s** and keep forcing even tho I was so hurt to do so . I kept ignoring him and in April i finally broke up with him.
Today, i text him ( i don't know why I didn't but I did) he again started forcing me to send n**** and i blocked him on WhatsApp and he started calling me on Instagram where insulted me and my friend. He called us a slut and i argued him for an hour and at this point I am so tired of this loop of same events that I told him to stay away or I would have to contact his father and family that he is harassing me. He didn't back off so I told him that I am very tired of this toxic relationship but i still love you but we can't be together anymore because I know he wasn't in his right mind. But again he started threatening me that he will commit suicide because he loves me too much. And I got scared again and blocked him from everywhere and delete his no.
Am I the ah?

We’ve been dating for almost 2 months and really like each other. Things have gone great and we were clear about our relationship and boundaries in the beginning. I told her about my brother and how Im his caregiver on our second date, which she said she’d be okay with.
She also told me she’d be travelling with her family heavily for the rest of the year and we’d just have a few months to spend between together on our first date which I was fine with.
She works as a psychologist and we kept seeing each other.
She told me her family has lead her to break up with other bf’s in the pst because one had ADHD. She’s been dreading to tell her family about me because my brother has schizophrenia and it increases the chances of our children having this condition as well.
She finally decided to tell her family last week and her mom and dad said I’d be a negative impact on their family. She also told me her friends said she would have to deal with work and me in her personal life because of my brother, and it sounds like there is uncertainty in whether or not I would get it from her friends and family’s perspective. I do not have schizophrenia.
The most frustrating part of all this is her mom is a retired psychologist and dad is a retired physician.
I tried talking to her again about it and she’s said she knows how hurtful their parents can be and have avoided their initial attempts to meet with me.
I told her I would not mind confronting them myself and shared how arrogant they sound.
She clearly cherishes her family a lot and with her travelling, I wonder if I should let this relationship continue or just end it as it seems like she is torn between her own choices, and it hurts me to see this continue.
She said she will be back for my birthday in a few months, but it hurts me to keep this lingering thought to continue our relationship nship which sounds unvetted by her friends and family, and it feels like a fuck you to me with a level of discrimination.
I do truly love her, but I feel like that may be best for me to end it instead?

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years and most things work perfectly fine. My birthday was not so long ago and he made a really cute surprise so overall the relationship is fine, but there is a thing that bothers me a lot: his following habits. We just talked once about this topic when he followed his ex, I asked him and he told me of course he wouldn’t talk to her and that it was her who had a problem (she blocked him when she knew we got together); he also told me he will tell me if she ever tries to talk to her, this did not happen as it was like almost 8 months ago so she did not even text him ever. I got myself over this and believed that it was just whatever as maybe she already got over him (they were dating for a month lmao).
He placed a boundary about how even texting someone in a flirty way is cheating, which seems reasonable and fine. But he keeps following girls and I dont know if he stands by what he told me. I wont ever snoop through his phone or whatever as he seems pretty open with showing me things idk. I know the answers are gonna be that I need to trust him, I cant control him etc… but it is making me uneasy.
I suspect he just follows random girls to get follow backs because when they follow him, he tends to delete them from his following, so yeah. It is still weird and I dont want to sound controlling. I also understand social media is not real life and that I should focus on what its tangible (my relationship with him) but yeah its pretty difficult as i am a bit paranoid.
How can this situation be approached? I dont want to feel bothered and I understand going crazy over some social media is pretty lame and childish? Or maybe im just too blinded to see?
Thanks in advance!!
TLDR; boyfriend follows girls and it makes me wonder if he is doing something bad behind my back even if he established reasoned boundaries on cheating.