What takes away the reddening of acne

Hello, I have been with 29M for about 3.5 years now, we started our relationship and it was so so nice. Now it’s the complete opposite it seems. I feel as if I am going crazy and I’m alone. Just last night he called me at 4am and accused me of doing drugs. He has done this multiple times, if I stay up late, if I have a drink, literally anything. At first I thought it would end, because I worked really hard to be sober and I’ve been sober for a long time now, but I accidentally missed his phone call yesterday because I was using the restroom and charging my phone. He accused me of being out buying drugs, even though I picked up his call 2 minutes later. Then 4am comes and he calls me disgusting and gross and a drug addict and that he could hear me through my AirPods doing drugs all night. Mind you, he lives 30 miles away , but I do let him barrow my AirPods for his job. This is just driving me insane. We had just talked about this about 2 days ago, when I asked him to please stop accusing me of stuff. He promised me he wouldn’t but here we are. Now I’m being ignored. I don’t even know what to do at this point. I love him a lot but I’m starting to notice the pattern of abuse. It’s like he wants some sort of control over me. It just makes me want to rip my hair out because I am not ever doing what he accuses me of, but it takes all the energy out of me to convince him. And until he’s convinced he’s just a complete ass to me. Calling me names and telling me how nasty and gross I am. I literally feel insane, I’m not on drugs, I wasn’t doing drugs all night, now I’m being ignored and it just breaks my heart. How did this relationship turn out so terribly. He had gotten into a car accident not too long ago and I’m pretty sure he just used me until he got his settlement because we were fine and now it’s close for him to get that, and here comes the lies and the accusations. I just want to cry. I don’t know who to tell because I do love him sadly but it doesn’t seem like he loves me at all anymore. I just don’t know what to do, I’ve put so much time and effort into being with this man and I hate having to give up, even though I don’t think it’s my fault. I have no idea where to go from here, am I just with some narcissistic ass who is mentally abusing me? Or is he going through mental stress from all the car accident bills and taking it out on me? I have no idea, he refuses to talk with me, I just want to cry and get some advice

Hello everyone! It was recently found that I have AVN of the right knee. It's most likely I'm my left knee as wall however I have yet to get an MRI of that one. My question is! What options are out there for me? I know a knee replacement isnt completely off the table however my orthopedic surgeon doesn't want to just jump to that. I am 26 and the likelihood of needing another replacement down the road is very high. So far he put lidocaine in my knee to "test" how bad the pain was and if taking the pain away helped me walk normal. It didn't really do to much sadly... I understand the reason for not wanting a full knee replacement however I want my life back. Any input is greatly appreciated!

I've been on/off a PPI for 30 years. Started with Aciphex around 14 yrs old and most recently on Pantoprazole. For years I've had this feeling like my head/face was in a vice, and in fact when I was in my late teens I went to many doctors to figure it out. Nothing. For about 20 of the last 30 years, I've had that pressure feeling, but sometimes it just went away. Never ever had any palpitations, heart problems, etc. In fact, I played semi-professional sports for several years, followed up with rec teams into my late 30's.
About 6 years ago (during one of the feeling-good periods), I was laying on the ground playing with my kids and I felt like I got hit with a lightning bolt. This was immediately followed by months of very intense anxiety symptoms (never had that feeling either), stomach pain, hot flushes, lightheadedness, chest pain, and the f'ing constant palpitations. In and out of the ER multiple times, always to be told I was fine. Basically lived in my bed for months.
Like many of you, I also had all the follow up tests to include full heart and abdomen/organ workups. Thankfully, all of that checked out just fine. The pressure feeling and the palpitations are the two symptoms that have remained since this started, but the palpitations did change their pattern to more of a random thing, instead of the kind you get just from just moving, so it's been tolerable. [I'll also throw in there that I finally agreed to admit this was all anxiety based, and went on Lexapro for about 1.5 years. It definitely helped me respond better to the palpitations, but in no way did it improve the actual palps. I've been off of Lexapro for probably 6 months now and don't miss it. I still feel like the anxiety is a result of the palpitations, and not the other way around.] I've tried diets, vitamins, exercises, fasting, sleep changes, borrowed a cpap machine, stopped using my phone, yoga, etc etc
So like 2 weeks ago, I finally noticed a pattern with how I felt vs if I was taking my PPI's every day. Keep in mind that every single DR, no matter what specialty, told me that PPI's were totally safe and unrelated, so I never thought twice about them. I decided to stop the PPI's. No freaking kidding, 48 hours later, I felt like I did during the "good times" with regards to the head pressure (none at all) which was totally unexpected. However, the palpitations returned to the debilitating original pattern where they hit constantly anytime I'm not laying still. I also had raging heartburn, which was really the only thing I knew for sure would happen during this experiment. I put up with this for several days, and then last night I decided to take a Pepcid tablet (not PPI). Low and behold, I wake up this morning and feel like I have a rock sitting on my face, but the palpitations have calmed down to a more random sequence.
For the first time in 6 years, I have something that I can directly tie to the way I've been feeling, instead of guessing at all the random things it might be. I'm not saying this is the answer, but I certainly have purpose now with regards to healthcare and where we head with this. My plan is to use Pepcid for a few weeks and see if I can get the PPI rebound to calm down to the point that I don't need either, and then I'll try this experiment again. In the meanwhile, I've got DR appointments scheduled for the next few weeks.
I'll update this as I make progress, which I am certain I will.
Thanks to everyone that has shared their stories. It's been very helpful to me over the last 6 years.

Hi, I'm Shawn. I'm 35 and live in a charming little town in Virginia, just a quick 29-minute drive from Harrisonburg. I'm on the lookout for people who are genuinely interested in building real friendships. If you're someone who values regular communication and meaningful connections, we might really hit it off!
I don't usually like to talk myself up—I don't think of myself as particularly fascinating or charismatic—but I'm eager to step out of my comfort zone. I'm ready to pursue authentic connections, especially when it comes to romance. So, if you're up for building something real, let's get to know each other!
I'm a traditional geek at heart, who still gets weak in the knees at the excitement of exploring fantastical worlds. Whether it’s diving into a comic book or navigating the digital landscapes of video games, I find immense joy in science fiction, fantasy, and anime. Creating a Magic: The Gathering deck is my current project, and I love getting lost in a D&D adventure (though I'm taking a short break from that right now).
By night, I work as a security guard. In my downtime, I enjoy reading, writing fanfiction, and tuning into podcasts about Bigfoot, Dogman, hauntings, aliens, and other cryptids. While I don't participate in cosplay myself, I have a deep appreciation for the art and effort that goes into it. I also enjoy a little true crime as well, but unlike most, I don't obsess over it.
I’ve always been an animal lover, even if they aren't the cuddly type. I once owned a Hermit Crab, which was quite an interesting experience. Currently, I have a dog named Scout who, to be honest, can be kind of an asshole at times, but he has his moments. I also have a whole slew of chickens clucking around the yard. A friend offered me a chinchilla when they were downsizing, but I had to turn it down because I simply didn’t have the room.I’d love to have a bearded dragon named Spyke or a Sugar Glider named Momo one day.
I know it's important to some, but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm a supporter of the LGBTQ+ community as I believe that how someone lives their life is their business so long as they aren't harming anyone or involving children. I also use the word "Dude" in a gender-neutral manner. I believe in the importance of respecting individual preferences so weatheryouidentifyas a man,woman nonbinary or anythinginbetweenyou'llbe my Dude. Additionally, I am open to the 420 culture socially as I use it to treat my insomnia, although I'm not personally involved. Politically, I consider myself more centered, and I identify as agnostic.
At this point in my life, I’m really looking for genuine in-person connections with people who are straightforward and honest. I'm definitely not interested in running into deceitful cam girls or romance scammers trying to get my credit card info or convince me to buy gift cards. I want to meet both men and women around my age 30-49 who I can hang out with, make great memories, and spend quality time together. It’d be great if they lived nearby or are okay with some travel now and then. Especially those Who are single, not married, and don’t have kids—I'm just not up for being a third wheel.
I've noticed a trend of individuals seeking deeper connections, craving meaningful conversations, and even expressing interest in video and voice chatting. While I understand the appeal of putting a face to the name, I believe that such interactions should evolve naturally, without feeling forced. But if you insist on getting to know me on a deeper level I'll include a few things below that'll help you understand me a bit better.
So, to sum it up, I’m looking for friends who are like me: single, not married, and without children. Ideally, you’d be nearby or okay with occasional travel so we can meet up easily. Building meaningful friendships through shared activities and mutual interests is what I’m after.

 THIS OR THAT 

Early Bird or Night Owl:: Night Owl
Bookworm or Movie Buff:: Bookworm
Board games or Video games:: Both
City or Country:: Country
Favorite Color:: Purple
Favorite Season:: Summer
Musical Taste:: Variety, but Meatloaf is my favorite and I don’t like blue grass
Favorite Video Game:: Mass Effect
Favorite ME Romance:: Tali
Favorite ME Class: Sentinel
My Zombie Apocalypse Plan:: "We get in my car, drive over to Mom's. We go in, take care of Philip. 'So sorry, Philip.' Then we grab Mom, go get Liz, go to the Winchester, have a pint, and wait for this whole thing to blow over."
Gaming:: I'm all about video games, especially RPGs and sandbox games like Mass Effect and ARK: Survival Evolved.

 DEALBREAKERS 

1. Little to No Effort Life gets busy, and I don’t expect immediate responses all the time, but I do hope for some genuine interaction, consistency, and effort to keep in touch. I’ll definitely put in the same effort and energy on my end. We don’t need to have all the same interests, but having enough in common to keep things enjoyable would be awesome. Friendships is a two-way street. If I'm always the one initiating plans, reaching out, or investing in the relationship, while you show little to no effort or interest, it quickly becomes exhausting and one-sided for me. Friendship takes work, and if you're going to waste my time with prolonged periods of not texting me, then it's probably best we aren't friends. Relationships require effort from both sides to thrive, and it’s essential to value each other's time and commitment. If mutual respect and communication aren't present, maintaining the friendship simply isn't worthwhile.
   
   1. Poor Hygiene: Basic hygiene is important for personal and social interactions. If a friend's poor hygiene regularly makes it uncomfortable to be around them, it becomes a significant barrier in developing a close and healthy friendship. I'm a bigger guy so I always make sure my Hygiene is on point, teeth brush, shower twice a week and deodorant.
   2. Irresponsiblity:: As a 35-year-old adult, I expect my friends to act like grown-ups. I'm not here to play the role of a mom or a babysitter. If you happen to get drunk and out of control occasionally and you're usually a good friend, I'll ensure you get home safely. However, if every time we hang out, I find myself dealing with your drunken behavior and having to wrestle your keys away from you like you're a defiant child, I'm putting an end to our friendship. If you can't manage your finances because you blew all your money on weed and then come to me for a loan, I'm cutting ties with you. I have nothing against smoking weed, but if you can't function without it and it's become an addiction, then I'm walking away. If you engage in petty drama on social media like a teenager, I'm walking away. I simply want people around me to act like responsible adults. I've outgrown all the immature antics reminiscent of high school drama.

For context, I used to work a white collar job but left due to an emergency. I had to find another job quickly to accommodate my new life schedule and I landed on serving. This is my first serving job ever and I feel like I have a knack for it but I've only been at it for a couple of months. I'm second in sales and tip outs at my store (my store has a board in the back that publishes everyone's "results" weekly) I love my regulars, I adore my interaction with guests, I pick up people's shifts, etc.
Basically, this is just a really fun and financially rewarding job for me.
At my store, my managers emphasize that we all run each other's food, pre-buss each other's tables (we don't have bussers), basically just work as a unit so that no one is in the weeds. I'm lucky that my managers are great, but there are a few coworkers I'm always scheduled with who make working unbearable.
They have been working in the company forever (different locations included) and they seem to just get away with repeated bad behavior. They never complete their cutwork, or worse lie about it to leave, super gossipy and just never help out other servers in general. It doesn't help out that they're cliquey and disappear conveniently together at various times throughout the night.
This occurred often when I first started working at this store and never stopped. I heard from day shift coworkers that they moved shifts due to the reasons I was experiencing. I talked with my managers about how I was completing most of their cutwork and whatever leftover work that is their responsibility and felt it was unfair because it was a nightly occurrence. My managers promptly addressed my concerns during our pre-shifts but it felt like animosity brewed.
The other day I doubled and came back from my break. It was super slow so my manager cut me first, and since there was virtually no cutwork for me to do because it was early in the shift, I offered to complete other tasks so that the store wouldn't be behind that night (folding boxes, taking out trash, extra items in bathroom) I checked in with my manager and the closer and both were fine with it.
The few coworkers mentioned were upset I wasn't completing enough cutwork so they complained about it to my manager. She was apologetic with me but asked that I stay longer to complete the full list of cutwork before I leave. I felt angry and slighted because these were the same people who are being lazy and deceitful but I stayed an hour extra to complete the work anyway.
The next few shifts I worked were filled with childish and petty behaviors (no pre-bussing, no help running food, skimping on cutwork) but it had left me in the weeds and I just couldn't take it anymore. I ended up quitting but I am so frustrated at how this all ended. It just seems like because they have been working at the store forever there was some entitlement to skip out on helping others.
I still want to continue serving but I just don't know how else to deal with these kinds of coworkers. What should I do moving forward and how should I approach it?

This is not the typical "Can I do CS at [obscure school]" post.
Instead, I was in interested in prospective students takes about the massive group of STEM students entering liberal arts colleges and the apparent lack of "arts" in these colleges over time. For context, take your average LAC where their top majors are Econ, CS, Bio (Consulting, Software Engineering, Pre-Med). At Pomona, where I attend, the top majors are CS, Econ, Math, and Politics. As a STEM student myself, I understand that we need jobs and there is a serious necessity for many international students (~14% of our campus) to major in STEM, however, it has severely limited academic, social, and cultural opportunities for many friends and myself.
For example, faculty hiring has become so concentrated in the STEM subjects that whole humanities departments can be added together and still not equal the sum of faculty in those departments. Imagine applying to a liberal arts college for art history and expecting support, and then ending up in Pomona's Art History Department where there's only 5 full time faculty, 2 of them are set to retire, and 1 of them is the director of our massive museum and will likely not have much time for you. So you realize that hm, I don't really like these professors' subspecialties, and the one prof I do, all the seniors take her classes before I can even get into them. Maybe I should consider the econ department, which has a laundry list of Profs for advising, research, and support. I want to emphasize how many of my friends essentially had this journey. When almost all of your college's research, investment, and hiring goes towards STEM, no one studies in the traditional liberal arts subjects beyond Math, Physics, Biology, and Chemistry.
But, it's not just an issue of majors. It's an issue of culture. A liberal arts college shouldn't have people spinning their heads to get into a consulting club or fighting for CS club spots. We barely have any creative clubs (and there's high demand, because, again, this is a liberal arts college), because the college has such little support in English, Music, and Art (kinda, it's a weirdly exclusive but well-funded major) that no one has any energy or spends much time producing their own work, let alone time to spend with friends creating art. It has become blasphemous to be a liberal arts major...at a liberal arts college.
Lastly. Let's go back to the student before- an art history-turned-economics major. She's now a junior in econometrics and Corporate Finance, and she does fine, not particularly well. She got an internship at Barclays that she's deeply nihilistic about. She follows another student, who graduated in Art History her freshman year, and has just graduated from Williams Masters in Art History and is going off to the MOMA as a curator! She's so happy for her, but deeply regrets her own decision not to continue art history, knowing that if she stayed, she probably would've had better work opportunities for her interests, more passion for her major, and a higher GPA. This is why I think these are wasted opportunities for students. By all means, people at a liberal arts college should have access to resources in the humanities at the level of STEM.
TLDR: LACs have become too STEM focused and its taking away opportunities for students to do what they genuinely would be good at and succeed in.

This is not the typical "Can I do CS at [obscure school]" post.
Instead, I was in interested in prospective students takes about the massive group of STEM students entering liberal arts colleges and the apparent lack of "arts" in these colleges over time. For context, take your average LAC where their top majors are Econ, CS, Bio (Consulting, Software Engineering, Pre-Med). At Pomona, where I attend, the top majors are CS, Econ, Math, and Politics. As a STEM student myself, I understand that we need jobs and there is a serious necessity for many international students (~14% of our campus) to major in STEM, however, it has severely limited academic, social, and cultural opportunities for many friends and myself.
For example, faculty hiring has become so concentrated in the STEM subjects that whole humanities departments can be added together and still not equal the sum of faculty in those departments. Imagine applying to a liberal arts college for art history and expecting support, and then ending up in Pomona's Art History Department where there's only 5 full time faculty, 2 of them are set to retire, and 1 of them is the director of our massive museum and will likely not have much time for you. So you realize that hm, I don't really like these professors' subspecialties, and the one prof I do, all the seniors take her classes before I can even get into them. Maybe I should consider the econ department, which has a laundry list of Profs for advising, research, and support. I want to emphasize how many of my friends essentially had this journey. When almost all of your college's research, investment, and hiring goes towards STEM, no one studies in the traditional liberal arts subjects beyond Math, Physics, Biology, and Chemistry.
But, it's not just an issue of majors. It's an issue of culture. A liberal arts college shouldn't have people spinning their heads to get into a consulting club or fighting for CS club spots. We barely have any creative clubs (and there's high demand, because, again, this is a liberal arts college), because the college has such little support in English, Music, and Art (kinda, it's a weirdly exclusive but well-funded major) that no one has any energy or spends much time producing their own work, let alone time to spend with friends creating art. It has become blasphemous to be a liberal arts major...at a liberal arts college.
Lastly. Let's go back to the student before- an art history-turned-economics major. She's now a junior in econometrics and Corporate Finance, and she does fine, not particularly well. She got an internship at Barclays that she's deeply nihilistic about. She follows another student, who graduated in Art History her freshman year, and has just graduated from Williams Masters in Art History and is going off to the MOMA as a curator! She's so happy for her, but deeply regrets her own decision not to continue art history, knowing that if she stayed, she probably would've had better work opportunities for her interests, more passion for her major, and a higher GPA. This is why I think these are wasted opportunities for students. By all means, people at a liberal arts college should have access to resources in the humanities at the level of STEM.
TLDR: LACs have become too STEM focused and its taking away opportunities for students to do what they genuinely would be good at and succeed in.

Like the title says, I'm 24(m) I have Autism and ADHD. I have paperwork and went through testing as a child. It seems like every time I bring up the fact that I have autism is when people just run away because they think ( oh I'll have to take care of him, or he won't be able to provide for me) when that isn't the case. I've been living my own life perfectly fine, hell I've even just started building my own business. I only started dating again because I felt confident with myself again and then I bring up autism and they leave shortly after. What am I doing wrong?

Helly everyone first time I am writing here pls excuse any grammar mistakes. English is not my first language and I am not used to reddit, so pls bare with me. My(38F) father died recently and I am still in shock what happend during this time. But let me give you information about my fathers and my life before I explain the situation. And sorry for the wall of text but I have no one to talk about it.
My father(67m) and my mother were divorced since I was 7 years old. He had an affair with his now widow Mary(66F). They got married and during my teenagertime I lived with them because I was a Daddys Girl and I was often in fight with Mary because she always made clear that she didnt want me around. Her family and friends were always number one. My father didnt really intervene because he was financially dependent on her. For example she always went with the children of her friends on a shopping spree, watching movies and so on. And I was always left out. I really tried to suck it up but after a time living with them, I moved back to my mother and brother and had low contact, because she did everything that I cant see my father and he just took it.
As I got older perhaps I was about 28, I noticed that my fathers health condition was getting with every year worse, so I reconnect with them over the last 10 years. They bought a house together and lived their lives happily. During that time I also reconnected with Mary. I helped her taking care of the house and garden, went house sitting when they were on vacation, we cook together, I had many sleepovers there and for the first time I was so happy to have my father back in my life and get so well with Mary. This was like my second home.
Now what happend ? My father was dying and Mary just wrote a Message in the morning "Your father is dying please think of him" Unfortunately I didnt hear the notification and later I got a call from Marys best friend Susan(68F) she said "your father has now passed away, it was peacefully" I was shocked... I asked her "where is Mary ? why didnt she called me ? Susan just said that Mary cant talk right now - which I completely understand but why didnt she called me ? I couldnt be there for my fathers last moments. During this Mary didnt contacted me not a single time. So I talked to Susan and asked her if I could help ? Like doing the mails, helping in the house, and many other questions but everything was shut down by her. So I asked her just for curiostiy is there a last will ? And Susan went crazy. How dare that I asked that ? And that I am an inheritance sneaker ! I tried to calm her down that this is not my intention it was just a simple question and she went straight to Mary and told her how horrible I am and Mary believed her without doubt. I know this was kinda an inappropiate question but I just wanted to know it so that I can also try to help with correspondence, because Mary is very bad in making appointments and organizing.
Everything was now under Susans control. I had absolutely no right In the process of the funeral. I wasnt allowed to do a obituary, to book a cafe for after the funeral and I wasnt allowed to decide which urn my father will get and much more. On all decisions I was left out. I also wasnt allowed to contact Mary because Susan said everything is to hard for her. And Mary didnt reply to messages or calls. I cried every day and Mary and Susan didnt care. The whole funeral was a crapshow.. the eulogy for my father was so short and so little about him. All the talk was about Marys friends and family. How great they have helped her in the last few years. Guess who had a special part in the Eulogy ? Yep you guessed it ! Susan ! What a wonderful friend she is and was always there for my father and Mary. You wanna know if we children where mentioned ?Let me give you our part of it : "OPs Father left 2 Children behind. His daughter also lived with them for a while, Then the contact became less" Thats it. I was devastated... After the Funeral Mary walked to me and asked "what do you think ? The funeral was nice right ?" I just stared at her eyes mumbled something about "werent the 10 years I was there for you two nothing?" and leaved the place.
This whole situation with the funeral took a toll on me.. I almost cry every day but that was not the tip of the iceberg.. My father was a passionate Gamer and had a PC and guess who has it now ? You guessed it right again! Susan! I tried to talk with Mary to please give me the PC it has sentimental value for me, the PC is over 6 years old it is not Highend. I build the computer together with my father, I helped him all the time with it, I played with him online but she didnt care. I also tried to talk to Susan about it and she said right after I mentioned it "This is now MY PC your father gifted it to me 2 years ago you will not get it !" Again I was devastated and shocked. I now try to get a external harddrive out from it because this was mine so that I least have one memory. I also have to wait to get my compulsory share of inheritance. Mary didnt even contacted me once during the whole time. I am so sad and realize that maybe Mary still didnt liked me at all? And I dont wanna see both of them ever again.. And my attorney is involved. I feel just defeated and miss my father so much.
TLDR: My Stepmother who always had a problem with me gifted my deceased fathers pc to her best friend without talking to me first.

31F. 70kg. 5”6’. Curvy body. Vegetarian diet (incorporation of eggs and meat into diet is a no-go).
I am looking for advice from this forum. I have such a hard time losing weight. My body doesn’t gain weight easily either. I so desperately want to be 58kg, but it just doesn’t happen. I have a sedentary full-time job and a full-time PhD position. I also have the discipline of an idiot. When I was younger (and if I had a crush), I could become very rigorously disciplined. I struggle to do it just for myself now. I also turn to food when I am emotionally or physically drained, which I am almost all the time. If I diet for 2-3weeks rigorously, I lose 300-500g. If I keep eating the way I usually do, there’s no weight gain as such. Thus, dieting doesn’t bring me encouraging results and I lose motivation and go back to my old ways.
I look my best when I am between 58 and 62 kg. I know that going below that range is rather unrealistic for my body type as when I am 62, people think that I am 53-54 kg. Maybe my bones are heavier. I would be very grateful if this sub could give me tips on how to lose 10-12 kg in the next 4-5 months. Being overweight takes away the joy of life and I keep thinking I will do this or that when I am back to a good weight and looking better. what would you do if you were in my place?

I’ve (22F) been taking Lyrica (pregabalin) for a few years for mental health issues and I’m suddenly having bad memory loss, confusion, agitation, headaches etc., I feel spaced out I’ve been on lyrica (pregabalin) for a few years and I’m suddenly having bad memory loss, confusion, agitation, headaches etc., i feel spaced out or high and it’s getting worse by the day. I’m on 150 mg in the morning and 300 at night. I feel fine before I take my meds in the morning but loopy after. Because of these side effects affecting me so badly with exams and daily life I need to discontinue it but I’m not sure how to taper it (my doc isn’t available to give me more info until I can see her in a while). I’m pretty freaked out that it won’t go away and it’s very uncomfortable as I can feel my brain declining by the day and by now I can barely think. I also take Strattera and Lamictal daily but I’m pretty sure Lyrica is the culprit (my doc hasn’t responded to say differently but I’m not a professional so I can’t know for sure). I know the effects of these meds usually wear off eventually but I’ve never had side effects appear after years of tolerating something so well. I’m very scared and I don’t know how to lower my dose because I only have 150 mg capsules available and I’m scared of withdrawals. Can someone please tell me what could be going on and how to go about it? Thank you in advance :)

I saw someone else doing something similar and figured this is a good way to get some feedback on mine. For starters, this is my first attempt at creating a magic system. I am running a short dnd campaign and thought it would make things more interesting to establish some new "magic" type stuff into my world. We are still using all spells and everything, this is just an addition to it that the plot will focus on as a main point.
I wanted to create a kind of grotesque and disturbing magic system, with a focus on physically altering your body, trying to emphasize in the system how it's not really supposed to be fucked with by mankind, but it still is.
The world itself im running takes place in the feudal era. Thousands of years ago, the world was ravaged by dragons, but they went extinct after an ancient war. That's important context for the system itself since the magic is going to be used by a cult of dragon worshippers trying to attain dragonhood and immortality.
So in reality dragons aren't magical. They get their power from chemistry basically. Their stomach acid combines with certain elements of their diet, which absorbs into their bodies, and lets them do things. So, a dragon that eats x+y+z, that xyz combines with their stomach acid and lets them do "A" attack. However, it dosen't have to be from the dragon itself. If a human combined x+y+z+dragon's acid, it would still produce "A" attack. So by discovering what combination of different elements of the world can create different effects, the cult gets closer to finding everything about them. But the only way to actually perform the "magic" is by locating and collecting this acid, which is found around their corpses. This is the first half of the system. Based on collecting these materials and using them to get whatever effect. But it's very experimental and can end catastrophically.
Secondly, is the concept of a Seraphic Mantle. Basically, dragons have the uncanny ability to restore their limbs and parts of their bodies after they get injured. Despite what legends may state, dragons were not immortal. They just have the ability to recover from injuries incredibly fast. They recover from injuries, similarly to how they perform magic, through their diet. Humans can also emulate this effect, but it comes with a cost.
The enamel in a dragons mouth can react with certain elements to heal themselves, depending on what they consume. Remnants of this substance is still found in their enamel after their flesh decays, and trace amounts in whatever remains of their bodies when they die. These elements can also combine to create the desired effect outside of a dragon. Ie, growing back a draconic limb, or wing, etc. However, it's under no circumstance "designed" for a human body. Activiating a ritual to restore a limb, or sprout wings for example, is not a smooth transition. As a limb grows inside a human and expands outward, it commonly ruptures and completely shatters any bone, rips through flesh, and tears away at arteries in order to grow to maturity. This process can take a varying amount of time, from a few seconds, to weeks, and it can leave a host either dead, or dying, in its wake. However, these grown limbs can be used, and are incredibly powerful. This is an incredibly brutal act. I was somewhat inspired by the visuals of something like godrick the grafted from elden ring, or the general enemy design in bloodborne.
Anyways, like I said, the ritual of consuming these parts and receiving the effects is known as receiving a "Seraphic Mantle." Soon after consuming and receiving the effects of a Seraphic Mantle, the aspect of the Mantle will decay and fall off. Ie, an extra limb, wings, claws etc. The accelerated healing from the dragons enamel will help heal the body, but it still leaves scar tissue around where the limb ripped out of the person
In the case of something that physically affects the limbs you already have, like turning your legs into Draconic Legs or an arm into a Draconic Arm, the draconic limb will completely fall off with time. The original arm will grow back, but over the span of days. The accelerated healing can create stem cells to restore the limb, but without extensive training, further use of a similar enhancement might cause the recovering limb to pull itself apart entirely.
I wanted to lean into the generally grotesque nature of changing your body with new limbs or unnatural modifications, and create a kind of body horror with how this magic system affects you, and how terrifying it would be to see as a concept. Kind of the idea that this kind of magic isn't meant to be meddled with by mankind. I plan to focus on that a lot as a theme, how much it destroys and mutilates the user of it, even though it comes with great power. I'm not very good at doing it in this description, but the major focus of this system is how it can make humans completely otherworldly and horrifying. Like I said, sort of inspired by things like Godrick the Grafted in elden ring, or the enemy design in Bloodborne.

Abandon my partner ? or stay
Very long story short: Dating for almost 2 years. Moved in way too fast. Were never able to properly communicate and resolve fights so they became bigger and (for my part) i said mean things.
I wanted to leave a few times, didn't. She left me one day but left her items. Came back after me writing love letters and flowers,etc. We didnt talk properly, fought once again and again without talking she left with everything while i was at work.
After a month of NC (mostly) and me paying a few thousands in remaining bills so she could feel safety and have less worries, i suprised her with an airbnb near a beach about an hour away from her hometown. Gave her a book with all our memories and my thoughts that ive been journaling about her, some fancy clothes as she always liked me to take the lead. And did some beautiful bars/restaueants. We had an amazing time! Just like we were in love all over again.
Started slowly rebuilding and videocalling everyday, saying i love you,etc but she didnt want any labels or gave almost no reassurance even when i openly communicated about it. I got anxious, suffered alot. One day she was extremely sweet, the other ..things were off and i almost didnt exist to her.
In the meanwhile we planned another holiday (last week).
A week before the holiday she suddenly said that its unfair what she has been doing and doesnt want a relationship right now. ( at the same time i know 100% sure she does and wants to have kids soon too)
A bit after she tried to convince me it was a bad idea to do the holiday. Everything was already paid for and now it was a day before the holiday.
It was very very stressful to me but i couldnt cancel so i told her. We went.. it was amazing.. almost dreamlike and cared for each other.
A while ago i bought a ring and prepared some text to tell her on the holiday. As i didnt say the text finally but explained i did this and why. Also that i really still wanted this and am doing my best to show up and apologise / grow together. (The ring was supposed to be a promise ring) She doesn't seem to be able to give a definitive answer.
i really want to respect her space and understand but somewhere also think if you want something or love someone, no matter how hard it was. At least you're clear or try in some way after all this? Even after suffering or this long i'm still trying to fight for it and it feels a bit like it means nothing to her.
She was and is very kind and loving. But i'm just quite scared to be on the emotional rollercoaster i was on again.
Do i ask her again what she wants to do? As i don't want to force her but also by now 3-4 months have past and i've been trying to show consistent love and growth,two holidays, gifts and care. We live in a different country now which doesn't make it easier.
I feel way less anxious than i did at some points. But don't want to be waiting for months with hearts in my eyes for a message that says: "i dont love you anymore"
What do i do ?
TL:DR Couple of 2 years, started to not resolve fights and said very wrong things. She moved out. Been trying to win her back giving her space , two holidays, nice gifts, daily compliments and care. She stays vague and i dont know what to do as i feel less anxious, want to fight but also want clarity in a way. Mostly dont want to pressure her. What do i do.

I saw someone else doing something similar and figured this is a good way to get some feedback on mine. For starters, this is my first attempt at creating a magic system. I am running a short dnd campaign and thought it would make things more interesting to establish some new "magic" type stuff into my world. We are still using all spells and everything, this is just an addition to it that the plot will focus on as a main point.
I wanted to create a kind of grotesque and disturbing magic system, with a focus on physically altering your body, trying to emphasize in the system how it's not really supposed to be fucked with by mankind, but it still is.
The world itself im running takes place in the feudal era. Thousands of years ago, the world was ravaged by dragons, but they went extinct after an ancient war. That's important context for the system itself since the magic is going to be used by a cult of dragon worshippers trying to attain dragonhood and immortality.
So in reality dragons aren't magical. They get their power from chemistry basically. Their stomach acid combines with certain elements of their diet, which absorbs into their bodies, and lets them do things. So, a dragon that eats x+y+z, that xyz combines with their stomach acid and lets them do "A" attack. However, it dosen't have to be from the dragon itself. If a human combined x+y+z+dragon's acid, it would still produce "A" attack. So by discovering what combination of different elements of the world can create different effects, the cult gets closer to finding everything about them. But the only way to actually perform the "magic" is by locating and collecting this acid, which is found around their corpses. This is the first half of the system. Based on collecting these materials and using them to get whatever effect. But it's very experimental and can end catastrophically.
Secondly, is the concept of a Seraphic Mantle. Basically, dragons have the uncanny ability to restore their limbs and parts of their bodies after they get injured. Despite what legends may state, dragons were not immortal. They just have the ability to recover from injuries incredibly fast. They recover from injuries, similarly to how they perform magic, through their diet. Humans can also emulate this effect, but it comes with a cost.
The enamel in a dragons mouth can react with certain elements to heal themselves, depending on what they consume. Remnants of this substance is still found in their enamel after their flesh decays, and trace amounts in whatever remains of their bodies when they die. These elements can also combine to create the desired effect outside of a dragon. Ie, growing back a draconic limb, or wing, etc. However, it's under no circumstance "designed" for a human body. Activiating a ritual to restore a limb, or sprout wings for example, is not a smooth transition. As a limb grows inside a human and expands outward, it commonly ruptures and completely shatters any bone, rips through flesh, and tears away at arteries in order to grow to maturity. This process can take a varying amount of time, from a few seconds, to weeks, and it can leave a host either dead, or dying, in its wake. However, these grown limbs can be used, and are incredibly powerful. This is an incredibly brutal act. I was somewhat inspired by the visuals of something like godrick the grafted from elden ring, or the general enemy design in bloodborne.
Anyways, like I said, the ritual of consuming these parts and receiving the effects is known as receiving a "Seraphic Mantle." Soon after consuming and receiving the effects of a Seraphic Mantle, the aspect of the Mantle will decay and fall off. Ie, an extra limb, wings, claws etc. The accelerated healing from the dragons enamel will help heal the body, but it still leaves scar tissue around where the limb ripped out of the person
In the case of something that physically affects the limbs you already have, like turning your legs into Draconic Legs or an arm into a Draconic Arm, the draconic limb will completely fall off with time. The original arm will grow back, but over the span of days. The accelerated healing can create stem cells to restore the limb, but without extensive training, further use of a similar enhancement might cause the recovering limb to pull itself apart entirely.
I wanted to lean into the generally grotesque nature of changing your body with new limbs or unnatural modifications, and create a kind of body horror with how this magic system affects you, and how terrifying it would be to see as a concept. Kind of the idea that this kind of magic isn't meant to be meddled with by mankind. I plan to focus on that a lot as a theme, how much it destroys and mutilates the user of it, even though it comes with great power. I'm not very good at doing it in this description, but the major focus of this system is how it can make humans completely otherworldly and horrifying. Like I said, sort of inspired by things like Godrick the Grafted in elden ring, or the enemy design in Bloodborne.

Trelik paced in front of the bookshelf, its frame was smooth to the touch and was polished to where the wood it was made off could act as a mirror in some cases. But there was one issue with it, it lacked variety and interesting material. He had books from across the Federation but those had become harder and harder to get his paws on after the halt on trade. The only books available now were either the ones already on Venlil Prime or from the Humans.
He desperately wanted a human book or three to sit on his bookcase but there was a small issue with that... they were expensive. In normal times Trelik would have scoffed while trying to find a cheaper deal and if not he would defeatedly buy it, but the lack of trade had hit the economy hard and so funds had been getting a bit low for him as well.
He’d recently heard from some others on Bleat that apparently the government was offering to pay people to help house a human why the war raged. Most saw this as a dumb idea or thought the risk too big to take but the ones remaining were too desperate to pass up such an opportunity. Trelik fell in with the desperate crowd, he just had to get some of those human books and having a human helping him could make it easier.
A sound from the door alerted Trelik that someone had arrived, most likely his new human housemate. He’d signed and completed the forms almost a week ago and so had been waiting for news for a while.
Despite his best efforts his heart was pounding, he knew it was silly but something at the very back of his mind kept screeching that he should run or freeze or escape into one of his book, anything but open the door.
“Think of the money, how could you read a book made by humans if you are scared of them?” Trelik muttered to himself. It seemed to work, his steps became more confident and ordered and he swung open the door quickly before his mind had time to catch up with his actions.
The human before him was tall and thin, not unlike some of the trees that populated some of the outlying colony worlds. What little flesh Trelik could see was pale and near hairless, this was only around the wrists.
A pair of gloves covered their paws and a set of ‘clothes’ covered the rest while they seemed to have a bit of cloth covering their head with a mask covering the face. It was slightly unnerving to the Venlil, nothing told him how the human was feeling, no tail or ears gave away emotion.
Slowly the human put down its bags and reached down to grab a pad, as the figure scribbled something down Trilek noticed the name tag on the right side of its outfit. ‘Maxwell A.’ was written in such a way that it took the visual translator a few seconds to parse it.
Maxwell finished their scribbling and turned the pad around, a message was written that the visual translator could decipher. ‘You can just call me Max.’
It had been three days since Max had arrived in Trilek’s home, he was an odd sort compared to the humans he the Venlil had heard about. Most of the people that helped house the humans reported them as either being really energetic and wanting to explore everywhere or being near despondent to everything save the most determined of pestering.
Max however seemed to just sit in a corner and scribble stuff on his pad or cross his legs in a frankly uncomfortable looking position and stare at the pad for hours. Trilek assumed he was either writing something, idly scribbling or reading. He desperately hoped it would be the latter, if he had a human in his home that read almost as much as him, they might have access to some books that he could get his paws on. There was one small issue with this plan, Max hadn’t taken out any physical books and seem to be unwilling to separate from his pad.
A week had now passed and Trilek was starting to get irritated, he’d hoped to have his paws on one of the human books he’d heard about but neither Max nor the payment had helped. Max just sat in the corner of the library, Trilek couldn’t even tell if the human was asleep or not until it slowly lifted it’s head to check the time or look around the room.
The paycheck for helping house a human had taken longer than aticipated to arrive, and were smaller than he was promised. When questioned about this Trilek got the excuse of taxes removing a tenth of what was owed. Still money was money, but he was going to go crazy if he couldn’t get a new book or something to read soon.
The time had finally arrived, the human had left his pad and a pair of what seemed to be listening devices on the lunge of the office area. Trilek might not get a chance like this again, his body thrummed with nervous anticpation as he slipped the devices into his ears and quickly look for how to start whatever the human was listening to.
A small triangle was in the centre of a bar, a turning indicator with a number nearby faced both behing and in front of the symbol. Worse that could happen was he turned the pad off, so Trilek tapped at the arrow symbol, a voice flooded into his ears. It was even and filled with energy, it seemed to be rapidly reading something.
“’GOTREK!’ cried Felix, the monster’s hatchet landing a hair’s width beside his head, the smell of corruption and decay wafted from the rusted thing. Suddenly it came at him with a mouth filled with what seemed to hundreds of needle-like teeth, it’s breath a foul mixture of rotting fish and fresh blood.”
Trilek felt a cold terror settle in his stomach, a feeling like a claws was running up his spine informed him that every stand of wool on his body had stood on end.
“A mighty thunderclap sound of metal on bone broke Felix out of his terror, the head of the once-human thing thumped to the ground, a small river of black sludge pattered from where it’s neck had once been. The Slayer stood on it’s quilled back, his mighty axe in hand, Gotrek simply spat on the creature’s corpse and muttered about how he was hoping for something larger.”
A hand on his shoulder made Trilek lead almost a meter into the air, the human was behind him one of it’s paws gently placed on the Venlil’s shoulder. Somehow they were a reassuring presence, the lack of any detail save this simple gesture spoke more than Trilek could say. Maxwell had sat in the corner of the library for near an entire week and hardly interacted with anything but when he saw that Trilek had used his pad without consent he comforted him after the fact.
“Want to talk about it?” the voice was low and tinny, the Venlil looked at Maxwell as the human lowered himself into a sitting position. Trilek signed a simple ‘no’ with his tail, the human nodded and simply sat there with a hand on Trilek’s should as the other went about removing the listening devices and pad.
“Wh-why do you listen to that?” his voice was a shaking whisper, any mirth or confidence drained away by terror and the crash after the percieved danger had passed. Maxwell simply rubbed an aread of his mask with his hand.
“Because,” a sigh echoed slightly from the mask, “because I see it as a fun adventure between two comrades. Sure, there is danger and the reason they are engaging on their quests wouldn’t ring as very sensible but it allows me to live in a world of action and characters.”
They sat in silence for several minutes, his heart rate had returned to normal but all of Trilek’s limbs felt tired as if he’d run across the whole city without any breaks. Still, there was one question he wanted an answer to.
“Are all human books like that one?”
A barking sound quickly burst from the human before suddenly stopping, like a thunderclap in a storm.
“No, no, some are and they are my preferred reading material but I can see they wouldn’t be for you. Problem is though is that I can’t really speak on what novels outside of the genres I listen to are like or make any suggestions.” A pause followed this, as though some idea was brewing and Max was hesitant to say it. “There is another option, how desperate are you to listen to or read Human books?”
At the start of this whole day, by all the stars in the sky even an hour ago, Trilek would have excitedly shouted ‘I HAVE TO READ AT LEAST ONE!’ at the top of his lungs. But after listening to that passage, he wasn’t as sure anymore. Yet a small nugget of curiosity blazed in him, it couldn’t be quenched by ignoring it, so he might as well see what the human’s plan was.
“Kind of,” was his response.
“Then how about he start again, I’ll grab the first book of a serious I like and we can listen to it together.”
Original work belongs to u/Thirsha_42 and the original work can be read here: Tight Money

I feel at home in this sub and we are all in the same or similar boats, so even though this post is not about pet sitting, but pet sitters who have to spend time without their own pets, I feel it’s appropriate. I’m on overnights so often that I haven’t been home much with my own cats (don’t worry, my husband takes great care of them when I’m away).
Two of my clients have started traveling more for work and I’ve been away for around two weeks a month this past year watching their dogs. I love my job and wouldn’t have it any other way. But this means spending less time with my own cats, Shayna and Stevie. My ladies are my world.
Shayna just turned 15 in April. I bottle fed her starting at around 3 weeks old when her mama abandoned her litter in my backyard at my college apartment. So I’ve had her since she was this itty bitty baby. Her eyesight has never been great but the last couple days she’s been acting very strangely. She peed on the kitchen floor yesterday, and this morning she wouldn’t eat her wet food even when I topped it off with a churu. She’s also walking around in circles meowing which she’s never done before. We have a vet appointment tomorrow afternoon and I’m terrified that they’re going to give me the bad news.
I spend so much time taking care of other people’s pets and making sure they’re taken care of, and while I obviously do the same for my own, I’ve never really thought about the end. I’ve lost several clients to the rainbow bridge, and my childhood cats both passed in 2019 at the ages of 21 and 18, but for some reason in my head, Shayna has always been a baby to me. The thought of her mortality somehow eluded me and this is hitting me like a freight train.
I’m not sure what I’m even looking for posting here, but I had to get it out somehow and figured this would be an appropriate place. Spend as much time with your own cats and dogs as you can. They’ll always be our babies but they are animals and don’t live forever. I’m in my 30s and for some reason it’s just hitting me now that she’s not going to be here forever, in fact her time left on earth might be very short. Spoil the crap out of your pets while you still can, don’t take them for granted, and make sure they know how much you love them. 🐾

My knife was the only way
To keep my pets by my side
Or so I kept lying to myself
That is until she came
Riding in the coach
Of a golden carriage
Cutting across our woods
The watchmen made the sign
As we came down on them
The coachmen fled
As we robbed them blind
That's when I saw her
Dress like a princess
And I knew right then and there
She had to be mine
My mom put a knife to her throat
But I quickly put a stop to that
“She shall play only with me!” I cried
Taking her round the waist
“Don't be afraid they shall not kill you,
As long as you don't vex me.”
I snatch her soft muff and fur boots
As we enter the coach
Then we rode down to our forlorn castle
And as our band of thieves enter
Into the roofless great hall, they took to drinking
While I drag the girl down to my dungeon
“You shall sleep with me tonight princess!”
“But I'm not a princess.”
“Oh, really then what are you?”
“I'm Gerda.”
“Well grrrda, come meet my pets.”
I drag her to a row of cells
Where a flock of pigeons
And a reindeer are shackle to the walls.
“All these belong to me,” I said.
“These wretches would flee at once
If they weren't kept locked up
And here's my old sweetheart.”
I pat the reindeer's head
Before pulling out my knife
Pressing it near the reindeer's neck
The animal kick while I laugh.
“Stop it!” Gerda gets in my way
I raise my knife at her throat
But she stands her ground
Despite trembling in fear
“Relax,” I scoff. “I was only playing.”
I pull Gerda into my bed of straw
And chain her to the wall.
“Tell me, why'd you go out
Into this cruel world.”
And as she told me of her woes
I realize she cares not
Where she goes
Even if it leads
To the clutches of death itself
For she cares only
About finding her beloved.
“The snow queen
Took him away from me.”
“But didn't he go willing?” I'd say.
“No, not my Kay he'd never!
I don't know how,
But she did something to him
I'm sure of it.”
“So let me get this straight,”
I rub my forehead.
“You travel far and wide
Risking life and limb
Never once turning back
Even when you were kidnap
By a sorceress and barely escape
Then right after that ya had the gall
To sneak into a royal mansion
Because of some misunderstanding
And was just lucky enough
Not to get beheaded cause you
Befriend their royalty
And all of this over some boy.”
“Not some boy, my Kay
We promise to be together
Forever,
And I never break a promise.”
“Oh whatever.” I wave my arm
As if I was unmoved by her words
But I could just barely hold back
The tears in my eyes so I desperately
Bury my head on her shoulder
And wrap my arms around her
Pretending to sleep.
That's when the pigeons began to speak
“Coo, coo! We've seen little Kay
He sat in the snow queen's carriage
As it drove through the woods
Quite close to our nest.
She blew upon us
And all our siblings died
Except for us. Coo, coo.”
“What did you say,” Gerda cried
“Where was the snow queen going
Please tell me?”
“They went to Lapland.
For there's always snow up there
Just ask the reindeer”
“It's true,” The reindeer nods its head.
“There is ice and snow
That's glorious and fine.
Up there one can spring
Freely about in the great shinning valley
But the snow queen has her finest
Ice castle farther north
Nearer to the pole
On an island call Spitsbergen.”
“Oh, Kay my lil Kay.” Gerda sighed.
“Lie still,” I clench her arms tight.
“Or I shall stick a knife in you!”
“Weren't you listening,” Gerda exclaims.
“I know where Kay is
Please you must let me go.”
She tries to get up
But I hold her down
“It doesn't matter!”
I fell to my knees and wept
“It doesn't matter!”
But she knelt down beside me
And held me close
“It doesn't matter!”
“It'll be alright.” Gerda rub my back.
“But what if I never see you again.”
“You'll see me again, I promise.”
“Ya mean it?” I look into her eyes
As she nods her head
“Right!” I get to my feet
And compose myself then square eyes
With the reindeer.
“Do you know where Lapland is?”
“Who should know better than I.”
His eyes sparkled.
“Listen,” I look to Gerda.
“Right now our men
Will be drinking out of the bottle
Then they'll all fall asleep
That's when we'll make our move.”
So, we waited till the time was right
Then I went to the reindeer and said
“It would give me great pleasure
To tickle your neck a few more times,
But I will loosen your chains
And help you escape
But you must take this lil girl
To the snow queen's castle.”
The reindeer jumped for joy
Before I lifted Gerda
Onto his back
And took the precaution
To tie her on, even gave her
A little cushion seat.
“Here are your fur boots.”
I handed them to her.
“But I'm keeping the muff.
But you shall not freeze
On my account
Here take my mother's large mittens
They'll reach right to your elbows.”
Gerda wept for joy.
“I can't bear to see you
Makes such grievances.”
I tear up. “Ya aught a be happy.
Now here are two loaves of bread
And some ham so you won't starve.”
I tied them behind the reindeer's back
We tip toe pass the men
Sleeping like a pack of wolves
I open the door for them
And lead them outside
Before I said to the reindeer.
“Now run! But mind you take care of her.”
Gerda stretch out her hands and said farewell
I watch them gallop away
Through the great woods
With tears in my eyes,
I stumble back to my dungeon
I let my pigeons go free
But they stay and comforted me
“Stop it!” I dry my eyes. “We can't stay here
If my mom finds out what I've done...
No matter. We'll sneak out.”
I took the golden coach
And rode north wandering
From one part of the world to the next
With my pets flying by my side
Until that fateful day
The pigeon's cry. “Coo coo shes here, shes here!”
Theirs wings pointed further up along the road
That's when I saw her again glowing like the sun
Hand in hand with a boy gleaming just the same
“Gerda!” I leapt into her arms
And hug her tight
While the pigeons chirp for joy
“I told you I keep my promise.”
We both chuckle before I let her go
“Well, you're a fine fellow
To go gadding about like that.”
I lightly punch Kay in the arm
“I should like to know
Whether you deserve
To have her running to the ends
Of the world for your sake?”

Hey everyone so im a recently barred attorney and my father died last year. He left no will and money squirreled away in all sorts of weird places so it’s been a bit of a nightmare handling everything. I’ve been desperately looking for a probate attorney i can trust to just manage and direct this entire process…and i simply cannot find one. The attorney of record i currently have will go weeks without replying to my emails and will frequently tell me i need to figure out toothy stuff myself. I have gone to four different shops to try and get someone who can just take care of all of this but no one seems to be interested in being paid like 20-30k to just completely handle my father’s estate. For example, i have been told i need to pull my father’s 401k plan documents myself, read them through, and get with a CPA to figure out the tax and other consequences of a distribution. Am I crazy or does this feel like something my attorney should be handling?
—-
Basically im just shocked at how DIY this whole process is apparently expected to be, and how for the life of me i cannot get a professional to just do this stuff. They keep telling me what a small estate this is - several million dollars are involved total! Why is it that no one wants to take my money and just handle everything? Is 20k really just a rounding error to these guys?

I'm 33F and have always struggled with body image issues. In fact, I have a whole basket full of things I've gathered through life, that I'm slowly working my way through.
My small chest has always made me feel insecure. In two ways: I personally like boobs of a bigger size; and felt that men I've been with also appreciated a larger size.
Well, where I'm at right now is that I'm best to accept how I've been born. Do I have to like it? No. Do I have to hate it and feel bad? No. Am I allowed to appreciate and enjoy other body types that I find attractive? Yes.
I've actually discovered that I'm sexually attracted to women - I'm bisexual. I like looking at women of all different types and get turned on.
Finding this out about myself is giving me confidence, because, it takes away the shame/insecure feeling of worrying about others not liking what I have. Maybe I will always envy those with "more," but people have such different body types and I find them really beautiful. Yes, there is the "typical" and "most liked" body type, but that's with everything in life, is it not? The better hair, car, house, dog, clothes, lifestyle, coffee, etc.
I think this has turned into a ramble. I've never been able to communicate my thoughts coherently, so sorry for that! I guess I'm just starting to discover more about myself while working on healing the "broken" or hurt parts about me.
My advice for others, is to give yourself time. If you feel hurt, angry, sad, annoyed, etc. don't pressure yourself to think one way or another or find a solution the quicker way possible. Go through what your feeling, support yourself how you can, and hopefully you will start to learn more about yourself and find how acceptance will be there for you when you're ready.
I think that some things in life will take time. Maybe alot of time, maybe until the end of a life time, and that is ok ❤️

Abandon my partner ? or stay
Very long story short: Dating for almost 2 years. Moved in way too fast. Were never able to properly communicate and resolve fights so they became bigger and (for my part) i said mean things.
I wanted to leave a few times, didn't. She left me one day but left her items. Came back after me writing love letters and flowers,etc. We didnt talk properly, fought once again and again without talking she left with everything while i was at work.
After a month of NC (mostly) and me paying a few thousands in remaining bills so she could feel safety and have less worries, i suprised her with an airbnb near a beach about an hour away from her hometown. Gave her a book with all our memories and my thoughts that ive been journaling about her, some fancy clothes as she always liked me to take the lead. And did some beautiful bars/restaueants. We had an amazing time! Just like we were in love all over again.
Started slowly rebuilding and videocalling everyday, saying i love you,etc but she didnt want any labels or gave almost no reassurance even when i openly communicated about it. I got anxious, suffered alot. One day she was extremely sweet, the other ..things were off and i almost didnt exist to her.
In the meanwhile we planned another holiday (last week).
A week before the holiday she suddenly said that its unfair what she has been doing and doesnt want a relationship right now. ( at the same time i know 100% sure she does and wants to have kids soon too)
A bit after she tried to convince me it was a bad idea to do the holiday. Everything was already paid for and now it was a day before the holiday.
It was very very stressful to me but i couldnt cancel so i told her. We went.. it was amazing.. almost dreamlike and cared for each other.
A while ago i bought a ring and prepared some text to tell her on the holiday. As i didnt say the text finally but explained i did this and why. Also that i really still wanted this and am doing my best to show up and apologise / grow together. (The ring was supposed to be a promise ring) She doesn't seem to be able to give a definitive answer.
i really want to respect her space and understand but somewhere also think if you want something or love someone, no matter how hard it was. At least you're clear or try in some way after all this? Even after suffering or this long i'm still trying to fight for it and it feels a bit like it means nothing to her.
She was and is very kind and loving. But i'm just quite scared to be on the emotional rollercoaster i was on again.
Do i ask her again what she wants to do? As i don't want to force her but also by now 3-4 months have past and i've been trying to show consistent love and growth,two holidays, gifts and care. We live in a different country now which doesn't make it easier.
I feel way less anxious than i did at some points. But don't want to be waiting for months with hearts in my eyes for a message that says: "i dont love you anymore"
What do i do ?
TL:DR Couple of 2 years, started to not resolve fights and said very wrong things. She moved out. Been trying to win her back giving her space , two holidays, nice gifts, daily compliments and care. She stays vague and i dont know what to do as i feel less anxious, want to fight but also want clarity in a way. Mostly dont want to pressure her. What do i do.