I’m in a bit of a conundrum. This is my first time going to the public sector. I’m taking a 31k pay cut with the intent to regain some work life balance after climbing super high and touching the sun in leadership. Being as burnt out as I got I figured seeing how a public sector role fit would be.
With that being said, this role comes with a pension option PERS2 and PERS3.
PERS 2 is a defined benefit and the calculation is 2% x years of service x average of top 5 earnings years. This vests in 5 years but you need to retire at 65 to get full benefits otherwise they are reduced though I can’t find anything online by how much. I contribute 6.63% of my paycheck to this plan.
PERS3 is the same as the above minus my contribution from my paycheck and instead of 2% it’s 1%. Instead you contribute 5-15% set and you cannot change it to a market fund probably like an S&P funds. Vests in 10 years and you only get 1% pension payout in the end which the employer contributes to.
Interestingly is you can choose PERS 3 then also contribute separately to a deferred compensation like a 401k up to $23,000. Also, both pension options get continuous COLA increases and I could set my wife as the survivorship beneficiary.
I’ll probably need to cut back given the pay cut I took to go public on my contributions so my first question is if I’m contributing to the PERS 2 option at $447 a month how much should I consider putting back into deferred compensation? Based on my math last year I only have about $3000 extra a month after all bills to play with.
For context, in prior years I’ve been slamming my retirement for me and my wife maxing eve to thing. I have about $600k in a mix of 401k and brokerage, about 30% of that is in bonds some are generating monthly income that I put back into the money market fund. House equity is around $320k but that’s not accessible. I’m 37 years old and I think around 100k a year in today’s future money would probably give us a fairly comfortable life.
I guess I need to figure out if I’m going with full pension can I cut back on my 401k and Roth contributions and how much ok? Also, with the PERS 3 option I can tap the S&P and potentially retire and access funds easier at 55 and forgo the juicy pension. I think I’m on track for early retirement, but I want to get your thoughts on how you’d handle this change in income and contribution approach. Still need some money for house repairs and such 😅

Wonky formatting - im on mobile and had to repost to satisfy the rules.
I found a phenomenal home that is abandoned. Searched info online and found it has been foreclosed for a few months. It's listed on Zillow for around $1M.
It's in California in a hilly area. I mention this because it seems like there's quite a bit of privacy. Doesn't seem like many neighbors would be minding my business, let alone seeing me most of the time. The only part of the property visible to the neighborhood is the chained up driveway.
Any redditors with real estate knowledge want to walk me through the risks and possibilities? Feels like I could get into the property easily. When i "research" online it looks as simple as making tax payments and maintaining the property.
If the home is foreclosed, is anyone going to come look at it? The window is literally falling off - no one is putting a dollar into it at the moment. Could i live there and pay for utilities or will that alert someone about my squatting? It's not exactly rural but it's not very crowded either.
I would like someone to hit me with some sobering realities because i am financially struggling and the idea of taking an empty house is emotionally satisfying and tempting.

Being one of the worlds only goodlisteners is a burden
Most PEOPLES are not goodLISTENERS.
People don’t care about anyone BUT THEMSELVES.
Can’t talk to anyone online nor in real life. In real life nobody wants to listen to you they want to monologue at you (men do this to me all the time). Online everyone (mostly men) are just there (especially Reddit) to bring you down and hate on you because you’re a woman. Most males are misogynists. They don’t listen to women in the slightest.

So I have been having extreme anxiety about "failing to launch" I feel that term is kind of a buzzword but it is accurate in this case. I just turned 27 and feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. Im in complete panic mode and am having analysis paralysis.
From 17-25 I basically just did the bare minimum in life because I was admittedly depressed and had 0 confidence, psychiatrist and therapist told me I have PTSD. I have not taken meds out of fear but I may have to now that I have woken up to real life.
I currently work customer service in IT and its a dead end job, I make 45k rn and my annual review is coming up. I graduated with a degree in Econ and minor in data analytics but did not get into that field. 1 year as bank teller, 1 year data entry and now 1 year customer service. I am studying for my Network+ cert to maybe get an internal help desk job, freshening up my data analytics skills to apply to low level analyst jobs, and also in school for programming, but I am losing my mind and kind of becoming suicidal due to the chaos of not having a path. Most people do a job and school and that is a lot. I feel like I am doing too much and not improving at one thing fast enough but I don't want to miss a opportunity to make more money ASAP so I can "launch" and get into a bigger company. At the same time I am truing to do networking certs to look for an internal promotion. Thus I continue to work on what I have mentioned.
I see posts about people failing to become real adults and how they are enabled. It makes me so anxious, I am barely an adult because I am one step away from relying on my parents again if I lose my job and I have no career path rn. My friend told me to go back to school and go all in and be a stand out student, other friends say continue working and do programming degree online. I am just lost and am hoping to get some advice on this.

Greetings & Salutations!
Now that your attention has been captivated by my wily title, I’ll be sure to squander it in short order.
It’s the usual story, right? I’m a mid-late 30s professional that works too much, relaxes to little, and somewhere along the way lost myself and a lot of the people close to me in my life.
So, about me, well, I’m a solid Reddit 8/10. Maybe even a 9 on a good day. So rest assured that’s a real life 7/10. Honestly though, I enjoy discussing things like philosophy, astronomy, current events, and whatever pop culture interests we may share. I enjoy playing guitar, hockey, and the occasional videogame even though I’m not into them as much as I grow older. Either that or I just don’t have the time for it. I’m a sucker for a good story though and it translates to good film and TV as well.
I’m pretty easy-going and can be quite understanding and empathetic as long as you can reciprocate it and aren’t a total sociopath or narcissist. We all wear our hunger and our haunt. Life is tough enough most days so I guess at the end of the day, I’m just looking for people to share some of the better moments with and develop lasting relationships.
As far as location, online only is fine but if you’re in Pennsylvania, Ohio, WV, MD, NY or even as far north as Ontario maybe we could meet up eventually.
If you’re interested, send me a message. If not, good luck.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.

So I have been having extreme anxiety about "failing to launch" I feel that term is kind of a buzzword but it is accurate in this case. I just turned 27 and feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. Im in complete panic mode and am having analysis paralysis.
From 17-25 I basically just did the bare minimum in life because I was admittedly depressed and had 0 confidence, psychiatrist and therapist told me I have PTSD. I have not taken meds out of fear but I may have to now that I have woken up to real life.
I currently work customer service in IT and its a dead end job, I make 45k rn and my annual review is coming up. I graduated with a degree in Econ and minor in data analytics but did not get into that field. 1 year as bank teller, 1 year data entry and now 1 year customer service. I am studying for my Network+ cert to maybe get an internal help desk job, freshening up my data analytics skills to apply to low level analyst jobs, and also in school for programming, but I am losing my mind and kind of becoming suicidal due to the chaos of not having a path. Most people do a job and school and that is a lot. I feel like I am doing too much and not improving at one thing fast enough but I don't want to miss a opportunity to make more money ASAP so I can "launch" and get into a bigger company. At the same time I am truing to do networking certs to look for an internal promotion. Thus I continue to work on what I have mentioned.
I see posts about people failing to become real adults and how they are enabled. It makes me so anxious, I am barely an adult because I am one step away from relying on my parents again if I lose my job and I have no career path rn. My friend told me to go back to school and go all in and be a stand out student, other friends say continue working and do programming degree online. I am just lost and am hoping to get some advice on this.

So I have been having extreme anxiety about "failing to launch" I feel that term is kind of a buzzword but it is accurate in this case. I just turned 27 and feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. Im in complete panic mode and am having analysis paralysis.
From 17-25 I basically just did the bare minimum in life because I was admittedly depressed and had 0 confidence, psychiatrist and therapist told me I have PTSD. I have not taken meds out of fear but I may have to now that I have woken up to real life.
I currently work customer service in IT and its a dead end job, I make 45k rn and my annual review is coming up. I graduated with a degree in Econ and minor in data analytics but did not get into that field. 1 year as bank teller, 1 year data entry and now 1 year customer service. I am studying for my Network+ cert to get a internal help desk job, freshening up my data analytics skills to apply to low level analyst jobs, and also in school for programming, but I am losing my mind and kind of becoming suicidal due to the chaos of not having a path. Most people do a job and school and that is a lot. I feel like I am doing too much and not improving at one thing fast enough but I don't want to miss a opportunity to make more money and get into a bigger company. At the same time I am truing to do networking certs to look for an internal promotion. Thus I continue to work on what I have mentioned.
I see posts about people failing to become real adults and how they are enabled. It makes me so anxious, I am barely an adult because I am one step away from relying on my parents again if I lose my job and I have no career path rn. My friend told me to go back to school and go all in and be a stand out student, other friends say continue working and do programming degree online. I am just lost and am hoping to get some advice on this.

Contest Rules For Best Song Of The Month • Updated May 19th, 2024

Click here to see summary of changes.

Best Song Of The Month Contest

Music Or Lose It hosts a monthly Best Song Of The Month contest at this musicorloseittv subreddit community. There is no cash or monetary value prize at this time. This contest is simply just for fun. Winners earn the enjoyment of being voted the best. Winners may cite the win in their biographies and social media posts.
The moderator (mod) is available to help music creators with the entry process, eligibility requirements, and deadlines. Music creators are allowed to contact the mod to ask questions about the contest anytime and mod will reply as soon as possible.
Definitions
Music creator: refers to a solo creator, band, group, choir, orchestra, or duo.
Brand identity: refers to how a creator presents themselves as an entertainer making music for the general public. For example, Simon & Garfunkel as a duo is one brand identity. Paul Simon solo is another brand identity.

Process & Deadlines

🟡 Round 1
1) Discovery ◦ Each month, moderator keeps track of songs shared at this musicorloseittv community.
2) Notifying Music Creators ◦ When a likely eligible song is seen, the u/musicorloseittv profile or u/themusicfanman profile will notify the music creator of likely eligibility within the qualifying song’s post. The reply will indicate, “⏳ This song appears eligible for the Best Song Of The Month contest. Please provide the following information…” If the song is confirmed to be eligible by a mod, the mod will make a reply “🟨 This is confirmation notifying you that this song is eligible and in consideration for the Best Song Of The Month contest…” within the qualifying song’s post.
3) Determining Contestants ◦ The Music Fan man will evaluate all eligible songs by the month’s eligibility deadline. He will then at his discretion choose up to 5 songs to compete.
3) Finalists Post ◦ At this musicorloseittv community, the musicorloseittv profile will announce the top finalists (up to 5) in a post tiled “Contest: Best Song Of The Month Finalists (Insert Month & Year).” This announcement will be done in a post made 4 days before the final day of the month. The post will be made sometime in the morning. The songs will be listed within the post in a manner most representative of music diversity as determined by the musicorloseittv profile mod. All songs available on YouTube will be included in a playlist titled “Best Song Of The Month Contestants • (Insert Month & Year)” hosted by the musicorloseittv channel on YouTube. Songs not available on YouTube will be excluded from the playlist. The playlist will be mentioned in this post. The available playlist will help voters get familiar with the songs.
The u/musicorloseittv profile or u/themusicfanman profile will notify the music creators of qualifying for the contest in their post of the song. The reply will indicate, “✅ Congratulations. Your song qualifies for the Best Song Of The Month contest…”
4) Voting ◦ The “Contest: Best Song Of The Month Finalists (Insert Month & Year)” post will specify a duration of 3 consecutive dates during which music fans can vote for only 1 of the top finalists. Voting occurs by the voters making a reply to the post in the following manner: “🗳️ I vote for….” Failing to vote in this manner will result in vote not being counted. To best ensure vote accuracy, voters must not use the “🗳️” emoji anywhere else in the post’s comments section. Music creators may vote for another music creator yet may not vote for themselves. For music creators, it’s “word of honor” voting. The top vote earning song within these three days will become the winner.
‣ Community moderator profiles musicorloseittv and onesongoftheday will abstain from voting. Also, themusicfanman and any special judge involved will also abstain from voting - unless they’re needed to serve as a tie breaker, in the event of a tie preventing a clear winner. If themusicfanman and any special judge involved are needed as a tie breaker, they must come to a consensus to achieve tie breaking. If no special judge is involved, then themusicfanman alone will serve as the tie breaker.
🟢 Winner Declaration!
Declaration Post ◦ At this musicorloseittv community, on the final day of the month, the musicorloseittv profile will announce the winner in a post tiled “Congratulations! 🎉 Best Song Of The Month Winner (Insert Month & Year)” in a post dedicated to celebrating the song. Using the sticky-post feature, the post will be prominently displayed the home page of the musicorloseittv subreddit community for ≈ 24 hours.
Achievement ◦ The contest winner may promote their song as:
My song “Song Title” won:
🏅Best Song Of The Month By Community Vote
(Insert Month & Year)
At The Music Or Lose It Community
The winner may promote themselves and the song as the winner at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads, or their YouTube channel’s Community feed. The winner may also cite the win in their biographies online including their personal website.
🏆 Song Of The Year
A similar Song Of The Year vote will occur in December. It will be similarly organized and scheduled to conclude on the final day of the year. To determine a Song Of The Year by the end of the year, December’s monthly contest will only be ≈ 2 weeks. Why? Because we need time to conclude The Song Of The Year vote by the end of the year. Additionally, this is a busy time of year for many people. What’s more, non-Christmas music released in December is typically overshadowed by Christmas music. It seems to be a bad idea to release new-original music in late December. See opinion commentary: The Best And Worst Months To Release Music.
Achievement ◦ The contest winner may promote their song as:
🏆 Best Song Of The Year By Community Vote
(Insert Year)
At The Music Or Lose It Community
The winner may promote themselves and the song as the winner at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads, or their YouTube channel’s Community feed. The winner may also cite the win in their biographies online including their personal website.

Eligibility

Here are the rules for the Best Song Of The Month contest organized by Music Or Lose It just for fun. The eligibility rules are intended to make this contest as fair as possible to the music creator participants.
**👤 Personal: **
Requirements:
✔️ Must be an actual human.
✔️ Must be 17 years of age or older.
✔️ Must be a music creator abiding by the rules of this musicorloseittv subreddit community.
✔️ Must be a music creator posting using either your personal profile or your brand profile as a music entertainer.
Ineligible:
🚫 Profiles run by publicists, music labels, or channels hosting performers.
🚫 People posing as other humans using imitation avatar type creations by artificial intelligence (AI).
**🗿 Music creator’s stature status: **
Eligible:
✔️ Unsigned amateur or unsigned professional yet lesser known.
✔️ Lesser known music creators who have not yet achieved two different songs with over 500,000 views/listens and are signed to deals with small to medium-sized record companies or seeming one-song-per-time type distributors.
✔️ Lesser known music creators who have not yet achieved two different songs with over 500,000 views/listens and are signed to deals with to a major label.
**📅 Release date: **
Eligible:
✔️ Your song must be published and accessible to the masses anytime between November 15^th of the prior year and 5 days before the final day of the current month.
**💽 Songwriting, singing, & recording: **
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the copyright owner of the song (lyrics and sound recording) or authorized/licensed to perform the song by the copyright owner as the first original performer.
✔️ An exception is made if your song is an authorized/licensed remix or includes authorized/licensed interpolation or sampling content by the copyright owner in collaboration with any other amateur music creator(s) or unsigned professional yet lesser known music creator(s). The aforementioned release date also applies to any remix, interpolation, or sampling content.
✔️ Collaborations within the aforementioned rules are allowed so long as the song is entered into the contest by the lead. Lead refers to the first person named in the collaboration.
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Songs written by artificial intelligence (AI).
🚫 Songs primarily generated artificial intelligence (AI).
🚫 Cover, parody, nor artificial intelligence (AI) imitation.
🚫 Songs likely to be very divisive for political or religious/anti-religious reasons.
🚫 Collaborations within deceased music creators akin to “Unforgettable” by Natalie Cole featuring Nat "King" Cole.
🚫 Interpolations, remixes, or samplings of a song by a creator signed to a record company of any size or signed to a one-song-per-time type distributor.
🚫 Song with hard cussing. No variations of F word, S word, C word, D word, N word (er or a), ahole word(s), or sexually vulgar words.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
🚫 Songs primarily about brands. For example: “I Love Driving Such-And-Such Brand Name Trucks.”
**👂 Recording quality: **
Allowed:
✔️ Professional quality recordings (live or studio).
✔️ Amateur quality (including songs record in a bedroom, car, outdoors, etc…) yet reasonably pleasant sounding.
✔️ Demos are welcome.
Ineligible:
🚫 Live records with too much interfering audience noise.
🚫 Recordings with excessively poor sound quality (abrasive on the ears, difficult to hear).
**📏 Song length: **
Requirement:
✔️ Minimum of 01:15 minutes up to 10:00 minutes.
**💻 Distribution venues: **
Requirements:
✔️ A song published and accessible to the general public masses at a well-known music website such as YouTube, SoundCloud, or Bandcamp.
✔️ A song uploaded to a channel hosting live performances is allowed so long as the song is entered into the contest directly by the creator and so long as the creator confirms permission by the channel. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ The song’s upload date must be visible at the distribution venue website.
⚠️ If you enter this contest with a Spotify or TikTok URL link, ensure you’ve provided a link for the entire song (not a teasesampler) in a manner that does not require login; ensure the publish date is visible; and be weary of looping flashing visuals necessitating a “⚠️Possible Seizure Trigger Risk Warning.” Failing to do this will result in ineligibility.
Ineligible:
🚫 Login required to access the song.
🚫 Payment required to access the song.
🚫 Uploads of songs directly to Reddit.
🚫 Links not fully available to the public such as an “unlisted” YouTube video.
**🖼️ Song’s artwork: **
Definition: artwork refers to the image/drawing/photo/visuals accompanying your individual song at a music distribution venue such as YouTube, SoundCloud, or Bandcamp. It is sometimes referred to as “cover art.”
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the original creator of the song’s accompanying artwork.
✔️ Alternatively, you must be the copyright owner of the artwork if you paid to have it made. Otherwise you must be authorized/licensed to publish the artwork as part of the presentation of your song.
✔️ Artwork primarily generated by artificial intelligence (AI) is allowed so long as you are authorized/licensed by the AI source to publish the artwork as part of your song’s public presentation. However this is advised against because public sentiment may be hostile towards AI generated content.
✔️ If your song’s artwork uses aspects of copyrighted, creative commons, or “free” material content, you must confirm you’ve got authorization/licensing to use the content as part of your song’s public presentation. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ Your own logo that you own the copyright to may be displayed in the song’s accompanying artwork (including on a person wearing a hat or T-shirt).
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Parody notably displayed in the artwork.
🚫 Visible logos of any brand other than your own logo as a music entertainer.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
**🎥 Song’s music video (optional): **
Including a link to a music video is optional.
Requirements:
✔️ You must be the original creator of the song’s music video visuals including: animation; moving graphics; prominently featured still artwork or photos.
✔️ Alternatively, you must be the copyright owner of all the video’s visuals if you paid to have them made. Otherwise you must be authorized/licensed to publish all the video’s visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ Visuals (including: animation; moving graphics; prominently featured still artwork or photos) primarily generated by artificial intelligence (AI) are allowed so long as you are authorized/licensed by the AI source to publish the artwork as part of your song’s public presentation. However this is advised against because public sentiment may be hostile towards AI generated content.
✔️ If your song’s accompanying music video uses aspects of copyrighted, creative commons or “free” material, you must confirm you’ve got authorization/licensing to use the copyrighted material as part of your song’s public presentation within the accompanying music video. Confirmation can be done in either your original upload URL link source or at this community within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ Your own logo that you own the copyright to may be displayed in the video (including on a person wearing a hat or T-shirt).
✔️ Allowed music videos include “Official Music Video,” “Live Performance,” “Dance Video Version,” “Animated Video,” or “Lyrics Video.”
✔️ If you opt for an “Animated Video” or a “Lyrics Video,” you must be authorized/licensed to publish all the video’s visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video. If you hire an animator or use AI or an app/software designed to create music video lyrics, you must be authorized/licensed by the animator or AI source or app/software creator to publish the animation and/or lyrics as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ If you opt for a “Dance Video Version,” the dancing and/or choreography must be originally created for your song’s accompanying music video. If you hire a choreographer and/or dancers or collaborate for free or for barter, you must be authorized/licensed by the choreographer and/or dancers to publish the video’s dancing/choreography visuals as part of the presentation of your song’s accompanying music video.
✔️ “Official Audio” type music videos are allowed so long as an accompanying still image complies with the aforementioned “Song’s artwork” rules. Alternatively, if the “Official Audio” music videos has moving visuals, it must comply with these above-mentioned “Song’s music video” rules.
✔️ “Live Performance” music videos may be made from your home/cafield (pretty much anywhere decent and reasonable) or from one of your well-recorded performances from a show. Be sure to avoid copyright and trademark violations in the video.
⚠️ Brief uses of music distribution venue logos at the end or start of a music video may be allowed at mod’s discretion, when the intent is to inform the viewer of venue availability of the song. This is however discouraged unless the distribution venue, at their website, specifies this is allowed. Music videos that display any trademark logos (other than the music creator’s own copyrighted logo) entirely throughout are ineligible.
Ineligible:
🚫 Copyright/trademark violations.
🚫 Notable use of virtual reality program recordings.
🚫 Notable use of filters from apps/websites similar to Snapchat.
🚫 Parody of intellectual property characters prominently displayed in the video.
🚫 Notably visible logos of any brand other than your own logo as a music entertainer.
🚫 Notable display of brand products with visible logos including but not limited to toys, stuffed animals, autos, hats, T-Shirts.
🚫 Extremely sexual, gang promoting, violent, or especially scary/gory/maleficent/evil aesthetic content.
🚫 Limitations on involving minors (under 18 yo): no minors doing dangerous stunts; no depictions of minors participating in drugs/drinking/smoking or very sexual behavior (including sexual dancing); do not prominently feature children that are not your own in the video (exception may be made if a relative only allows you to involve their children).
⚖️ Quantities:
Requirements:
✔️ One song per music creator’s brand identity.
✔️ If a music creator uploads more than one of their brands’ potentially eligible songs, the music creator must inform mod which song they prefer to be included in the contest.
✔️ A music creator may win this Song Of The Month contest up to three consecutive times. If this happens, thereafter the creator must abstain from the contest for the next month and then may return to the contest after that 1-month eligibility hiatus.
Ineligible:
🚫 Every collaboration will not automatically be considered a new brand. For example, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss collaborating one time should not be considered a brand. Robert Plant & Alison Krauss making an entire album together should be considered a brand. Music creators attempting to enter multiple songs under multiple brand names will be scrutinized. If there is no social media presence for any additional brands, their songs will likely be rejected as “also eligible” by mods. If this happens, the music creator will have to enter only 1 song.
**🖱️ Accounts you may post from: **
Requirements:
✔️ Your post must be made directly from either your personal Reddit account profile or your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If you have a medical condition necessitating aid, on your behalf, you may appoint a publicist, manager, caretaker, helper, spouse, partner, friend, guardian, or family member to post from either your personal Reddit account profile or your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If your song is from a band, group, choir, orchestra, or duo brand, the post must be made directly from either from one of the members’ personal Reddit account profiles or from your brand’s Reddit account profile.
✔️ If your song is collaboration, the post must be made directly from either the lead’s personal Reddit account profile or from the lead’s brand Reddit account profile.
✔️ If you want another song to be a part of the contest from another brand identity you are involved with, the song must be posted by a Reddit account profile for that separate brand – or one of the brand collaborators’ personal Reddit account profile.
👩🏾‍🏫 Presentation at this musicorloseittv community:
Requirements:
✔️ You must post a link to the song at this musicorloseittv community by tapping “+” on smartphone or clicking “+Create a post” on desktop/laptop. You must select the “My Song” flair.
✔️ Your post must be done by the “Title & Link Share Only method.”
✔️ The song’s URL you provide must be of the standalone song upload - not part of a playlist URL link.
✔️ You may post an audio only upload URL link (such as an individual song published at SoundCloud or Bandcamp). Alternatively, you may post a music video link from a venue like YouTube.
✔️ You may include a smartlink for the individual song (not album or playlist) within your posts’ body-text section or a reply to the post.
✔️ You may title the post whatever you want within the community’s rules and the contest’s rules. Remember: no vague titles; limit post title emojis to no more than 2 (if you decide to use them); and don’t request feedback.
✔️ Your post title may be done in the style of “Entertainer - Song Tile” (or something similar). Alternatively, the post title may be more elaborate. For example: “This Is My Latest Song. It’s About A Wonderful Time I Fell In Love.”
✔️ In your posts’ body-text section or in a reply comment, optionally you may share details about the song that you feel the audience would enjoy knowing.
**📝 Needed information: **
Requirements:
✔️ Within either your posts’ body-text section or within a reply comment at your post, provide the following information – as is:
❇️ Contest entry for your consideration:
• Entertainer's Name - Song Title:
• Published on: [Insert date & year. Refers to date published at your URL link source]
• Genre:
• I am an independent creator unsigned I am signed to [insert label name]
• Interpolations/remixes/samplings disclosure: N/A this song contains authorized/licensed interpolations/remixes/samplings [specify] of another song released since 11/15 of the prior year in collaboration with other unsigned music creator(s)[specify]. The link to the original song is [insert URL link – publish date from URL link source must be visible].
• Al disclosure: N/A. A portion of this [song/artwork/music video] is created by Al. Explanation: [specify if this applies to song/artwork/music video].
• Copyright disclosure for song: I confirm I’m the copyright owner of all the contents of this song (lyrics and recording) as it is presented including the artwork [(if applicable) and music video]
Copyrighted content I am authorized/licensed to use commercially in the promotion of my song include: [insert details]
• [optional/voluntary] Confirmation of substantial human involvement: A real human substantially arranged/compose this music. [Note: This type disclosure is strongly encouraged by creators who use instrument sounds and beats from apps/software in substation of instruments played live at the time of recording. This is especially encouraged for music creators who do not show their face and/or don’t show themselves creating the music in a music video or behind the scenes video. For music fans opposed to music primarily created by AI, this type of disclosure can be helpful and assuring.]
• Lyrics: [insert URL link or embed URL link into “Lyrics” text] [note if the lyrics are available at the upload source] [only if you're the copyright owner of the lyrics, you may entirely include them] [type “vocalized” or “instrumental” if applicable]
Ineligible:
🚫 Uploads of songs to Reddit.
🚫 No engagement pleas disguised as feedback requests in post titles nor in your posts’ body-text section. No feedback requests.
**👨🏼‍⚖️ Copyright/trademark compliance: **
‣ Important note: Aforementioned rules already state you either must be the copyright owner of the content you enter for this contest or you must be authorized/licensed to commercially use the content by the copyright owner. Aforementioned rules already state you must disclose use of copyrighted, creative commons, or “free” material. Mods reserve the right to ask for additional proof for confirmation. Suspected violations will be removed at mod’s discretion. You are strongly encouraged to upload your best, newest, utmost original content.
‣ Resources:
U.S. Copyright Office, Copyright in General https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-general.html
What Musicians Should Know about Copyright by U.S. Copyright Office https://www.copyright.gov/engage/musicians
U.S. Copyright Office Fair Use Index by U.S. Copyright Office https://www.copyright.gov/fair-use
**🤝 Mutual Support **
Requirements:
✔️ You must be active in the musicorloseittv community regarding mutual support and engagement with other posts. You must post a comment reply to at least two other posts of any kind at the musicorloseittv community before the final day of the month. Failing to do so will result in disqualification.
Ineligible:
🚫 Posting then ghosting the community.
**😎👍 Encouraging fans to vote: **
Ineligible:
🚫 You are not allowed to ask for votes in anywhere in the musicorloseittv community’s comments section.
🚫 Music creators may not offer anything to anyone whatsoever in exchange for voting for them.
Allowed:
✔️ If you see a music fan has voted for you, you may thank them in a reply comment.
✔️ You may make social media posts at venues like X/Twitter, Facebook, Threads or your YouTube channel’s Community feed to encourage your fans to join this musicorloseittv subreddit community and vote for your song.
Example post:
My song “Song Title” is a finalist for Best Song Of The Month at the musicorloseittv community at Reddit. At [insert URL link] please vote for me and my song. Thank you.
**📜 Rules adherence: **
‣ Important note: If you are new to the musicorloseittv community as either a music fan voting or music creator entering the contest, latitude may be given as you get familiar here. It’s up to mod’s discretion.
‣ Important note: This contest is just for fun. Likewise playing boardgames or cards with friends is also just for fun yet people expect rules to be followed.
**🕊️ Truthfulness: **
Requirements:
✔️ Contestants and voters are expected to behave honorably and ethically.
Ineligible:
🚫 If anyone is ever discovered cheating or being dishonest akin to author James Frey or music entertainers Milli Vanilli, they will be disqualified and also likely be banned from this community.
Additional Info
If you do not want to be in the contest yet want to continue sharing your songs in this community, it is totally ok. Please inform the moderator. A “Message the mods” option is at the homepage.
In circumstances where uncertainty arises due to an unforeseen issue not addressed here in this outline of rules, moderators reserve the right to approve or disapprove eligibility. Moderators reserve the right to disqualify any song for any reason. Unfortunately, not every contest can perfectly satisfy all participant hopefuls.
Just do your best, don’t take it too seriously, and have fun.
Thank you.
END

So I have been having extreme anxiety about "failing to launch" I feel that term is kind of a buzzword but it is accurate in this case. I just turned 27 and feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. Im in complete panic mode and am having analysis paralysis.
From 17-25 I basically just did the bare minimum in life because I was admittedly depressed and had 0 confidence, psychiatrist and therapist told me I have PTSD. I have not taken meds out of fear but I may have to now that I have woken up to real life.
I currently work customer service in IT and its a dead end job, I make 45k rn and my annual review is coming up. I graduated with a degree in Econ and minor in data analytics but did not get into that field. 1 year as bank teller, 1 year data entry and now 1 year customer service. I am studying for my Network+ cert to maybe get an internal help desk job, freshening up my data analytics skills to apply to low level analyst jobs, and also in school for programming, but I am losing my mind and kind of becoming suicidal due to the chaos of not having a path. Most people do a job and school and that is a lot. I feel like I am doing too much and not improving at one thing fast enough but I don't want to miss a opportunity to make more money ASAP so I can "launch" and get into a bigger company. At the same time I am truing to do networking certs to look for an internal promotion. Thus I continue to work on what I have mentioned.
I see posts about people failing to become real adults and how they are enabled. It makes me so anxious, I am barely an adult because I am one step away from relying on my parents again if I lose my job and I have no career path rn. My friend told me to go back to school and go all in and be a stand out student, other friends say continue working and do programming degree online. I am just lost and am hoping to get some advice on this.

19F when i first met him online, i didnt expect the relationship to go anywhere. I was bored and i just went along with our friendship. It felt I was in a tide and i was going with the flow, i didnt know really where i was going. we ended up being in a relationship, and mainly it was because i was bored, and then after the boredom i actually started liking him. in that year, we have never discussed about possibly be a meeting, and it felt like a fantasical relationship, we didnt think about the future, how we were gonna meet, we just let our relationship get stronger. Guideless relationship in a way. Im in US, he's UK. my feelings were really weird, they came and went because we'd get busy and we just wouldn't talk. i was probably thinking about breaking up with him in the first few months but i felt bad because he liked me, i also didnt bc he would get really hurt, really dumb thinking choices here. i feel like i shoulda just done it there, because now that our relationship is stronger, and almost 2 years... meaning if i do it now, it will hurt like a bitch. i've gotten so used to this relationship, mind you this is i guess my first one ever, and i kinda got used to having someone love me. but well, i think into the future actually, and i really don't know if i want to move all the way to the UK and leave everything here for him. Hes been telling me to just move there, and study there, but its the most hardest thing. before i met him i had a plan, finish my school in the US and get a job here. Being alone in whole other country, leaving my family behind i just cant fathom it. Even if i do move, i told him that i want to finish my education here as i get grants, paid college. Though were looking at 5 yrs of wait. I feel thats idk, a waste of alot of time. even if i do break up with him it will take a toll on him, and its his exams week, idk if i should wait, or just ugh, evendo it. Im sure its the right thing to do, but man, sometimes i feel like i shoulda broke up with before this got any stronger. I was debating almost all year last year, but i just didnt bc i felt bad. i also dont know if i even want to see him, also i stuck out it at his long bc i thought oh well if i see him, ill probably have stronger feelings for him. but now ijm like, if i do see him, itll be really hard to break up because then it would be like well real. I am also scared to travel alone to another country, and even i do visit it'll just be 1-2x a year due to school. It just seems like lots of wasted time being on a screen yk? I just feel like a total dickhead right now for thinking that but, ugh, this is tough.

So I have been having extreme anxiety about "failing to launch" I feel that term is kind of a buzzword but it is accurate in this case. I just turned 27 and feel like my life is flashing before my eyes. Im in complete panic mode and am having analysis paralysis.
From 17-25 I basically just did the bare minimum in life because I was admittedly depressed and had 0 confidence, psychiatrist and therapist told me I have PTSD. I have not taken meds out of fear but I may have to now that I have woken up to real life.
I currently work customer service in IT and its a dead end job, I make 45k rn and my annual review is coming up. I graduated with a degree in Econ and minor in data analytics but did not get into that field. 1 year as bank teller, 1 year data entry and now 1 year customer service. I am studying for my Network+ cert to get a internal help desk job, freshening up my data analytics skills to apply to low level analyst jobs, and also in school for programming, but I am losing my mind and kind of becoming suicidal due to the chaos of not having a path. Most people do a job and school and that is a lot. I feel like I am doing too much and not improving at one thing fast enough but I don't want to miss a opportunity to make more money and get into a bigger company. At the same time I am truing to do networking certs to look for an internal promotion. Thus I continue to work on what I have mentioned.
I see posts about people failing to become real adults and how they are enabled. It makes me so anxious, I am barely an adult because I am one step away from relying on my parents again if I lose my job and I have no career path rn. My friend told me to go back to school and go all in and be a stand out student, other friends say continue working and do programming degree online. I am just lost and am hoping to get some advice on this.

I don't know if I have bad luck because I always end up involved with men who have this habit. Whenever I meet someone with whom I feel I empathize very well, my insecurities win, I want to leave limits established from the beginning due to things that happened to me in the past and that's when men stop talking to me, they start to be colder to me and I start to blame myself a lot. I am not a person desperate for love, the idea of having a partner and getting married is something I shy away from but I'm still a human being, I generate feelings quickly and I don't like it. I'm not pretty, I know I don't have an overwhelming personality and I still make an effort to be able to please someone... later I realize that it was another episode of love b0mbing What's wrong with me? Am I so mentally screwed that I don't deserve real love?

Everyone says don’t join something that you see online especially on Reddit or Facebook but i guess it depends on where you look I’m 100% with all this
Background story. (You can skip this) I am from Arizona I have been here 17 years and my famliy always went places but we always came back I’m 19 turning 20 now I have a good understanding of a lot because I was never around phones or fake shit I dropped out 8th grade and it was because of the agenda they pushed in my middle school let’s put this in terms that everyone should be able to catch on to
6th grade History,English,Math was taught by a short foreign Teacher that could barley speak English or know anything about America history he was good at math tho I will give the man that
(Side note) This is where it got me the most for the last 2 classes which were the longest I had a female foreign teacher that was putting on the news about the elections and the riots and the killings and everything that was going on then made us write what we thought and stand up and read it and for half a year I watch people turn on each other and form little groups that was left or right This is in middle school remind you I would go home day after day and watch political arguments and debates and old school debates and I educated myself so much for the people I was around from the school and from this country this happened all middle school until I said fuck it and didn’t go back they also tried to vaccinate me and that’s why I didn’t go back But from 14 to 19 turning 20 which is now I have learned so much about the bullshit and the realness of everything that’s why I ask you to join me and make AMERICA great AGAIN without politics or politicians (End)
In the old days 20 year olds did so much they were men and now if your like that no one your age will talk to you because you don’t play video games or do drugs Well they loss
A year now I had a voice in my head (in a good way) tell me AMERICA IS EVIL THEY ARE ALL EVIL DONT LISTEN TO THEM THEY ARE BRAINWASHING PEOPLE and I knew it was the truth and I put down my cup of alcohol and for the rest of the time from now I been seeing exactly what they have been doing to people like I said from 14 to 19 i educated myself on it all but that’s what THEY WANT you to do is be caught up in something so they can do what it is they do
I want to start something in the United state of America where you have a community of people who are broken free of the brainwashing and protects its people and land just like the people back in the day and I feel like if I have at least 25 to 40 people no matter what age but 18 and older to stand with and make this country great again it will make movement and we can reach the people
If you comment under this or dm me I will reach out to you with details and information and links

Today I discovered something I found pretty cool that excited me so I just wanted to share it: a way to fully mess with gen 3/4/5 save files using only a R4, online resources downloaded on it, and a computer that can read SD cards. See, before I could only do gen 4 (which I wouldn't mind, it's my favorite generation), then I fixed the flash card to work for gen 5 in the exact same way too by changing the firmware on it. Then this year? I took it a step further and because of a YT video about a bootleg cartridge I discovered a program that lets you download/mess with GBA files from the 2nd-slot cartridge, as well as discovering a program that injects mystery gift events for gen 4.
Sorry if that was a bit rambley/pointless seeming but I was excited and so I got that way, if anyone is curious about these tools I can share them if the sub allows for that: though PM about it preferably to keep things organized. Maybe I'll make a little foldetutorial on how to set up specifically the gen 3 programs with all the files included too.

I took the test yesterday 5/18 and just got my results via email 1.5 days later. Thank you to this subreddit for all the tips!! I have very limited pm experience, but I do think it helped me apply concepts to real life examples
Here’s what I did to study:
1) JP Udemy Course - Barely paid attention since I just needed the hours; took way too long to finish this 2) Udemy Practice Test #1 - 52% I scheduled my test on 4/9 to motivate myself to actually study…it didn’t work. I would put in 1 hr every other day 3) Udemy Practice Test #2 - 60% 4) PocketPrep - I had the app for a couple weeks before I started slowly going through the questions, but I didn’t study daily until 2 weeks out. I did all 1000 questions and averaged 64% lol so I did the ‘missed questions’ quizzes until I got it up to 76% by my test date 5) Udemy Practice Test #3 - 58% 6) Udemy Practice Test #4 - 64% 7) AR Udemy Course - Paid attention the most during foundations and BA 8) TIA CAPM Exam Simulator - Did study mode & passed the first two 50 question mock exams + the 150 question mock exam. Then I did exam mode & passed everything, BUT I think this is only bc the questions were the same from study mode & my brain was working off of muscle memory instead of critical thinking **I still felt so unprepared so I was putting in ~2-3 hr of studying a day at this point 9) Landini PM: Practice Questions for the CAPM Exam - I ordered this on Amazon & received it 6 days before my exam. I completed all the odd exams first & then did the even exams for the two weaker sections which were Fundamentals & BA (I’m now realizing that aligns with my scores lol) Set #1 - 68% Set #2 - 78% Set #3 - 68% Set #4 - n/a Set #5 - 78% Set #6 - n/a Set #7 - 66% Set #8 - 72%
I took the test online. Check-in took ~7 min. I did a system test the night before & the morning of. They give you a whiteboard, calculator, and comment box. There’s a ‘review questions’ page after the first 75 questions & then again at the end. I took the 10 min break (I asked my proctor via chat if I could leave & they said yes) by leaving the room for a bit and only ended up taking 8 min before starting again. I finished with 95 min still on the clock so I was worried I rushed through it, but I reviewed thoroughly & only felt unsure about one formula question in the second half. The questions were straightforward & were not as difficult or tricky as I expected. A lot of the questions could be narrowed down by process of elimination.
My only tip is: don’t overthink it! Especially if you’re not a fan of test taking like me. Most of the time I would over complicate it when all I had to do was choose the answer that was the most obvious lol. Also, don’t sweat it if your test is approaching quickly, I crammed the week of & I think that was probably all I needed. GOOD LUCK!!

Hello everyone, I'm really desperate for an advice on how to deal with a feeling of envy.
I have a group of online friends that I found in communities of interest. We're getting along very well and chat daily on all kinds of topics. The problem is, I can't help but feel envy when these guys get to meet up in real life and go out together. Most of them live in Europe, so, often it's a matter of a short trip to get to each other and go to all kinds of events together. I, on the other hand, live in a small in East Asia, so there's just no way I could visit and meet them too. And that makes me feel left out and isolated, bc obviously building connections and having experiences offline is a whole another level. I won't get nowhere as close with them by being online only. I tried finding similar minded people in my area, but as I said — it's a small town in a third world country, I haven't had any luck so far. So when my chat friends show us pictures of how their meeting went and the fun things they did, I can't help but think "wish I was there with them too".
I try to be positive and tell them things like "Hope you two have a nice day, enjoy!", but I feel like a fake because I can't make myself feel genuine joy about it. And it eats me alive, because all of them are wonderful creative people, and my emotional reaction is really foul. Some people say "use envy as a drive", but I don't think it can be used in my case, I can't just decide and emigrate to Europe, I can't even afford a one time travel. Yet I still have to deal with envy somehow, in the present.
To elaborate, I do have my own offline friends, but we don't share that many interests (these are friendships from my time in school/college, so it's more of a proximity friendship type). So, that's why I'm really upset that I can't meet my nerd group I chat with.
Sorry for my miserable blabbering. Using my throwaway account, bc friends know my main.

Okay, I know that the title sounds bad.
Throwaway account, my friends follow my personal account. Also, english is not my first language, I'm from Latin America. To be honest, my english is pretty rusty right now, so there might be some mistakes. Also, the post is pretty long, so I apologize in advance for that.
So for some background, I (32F) married my now ex husband Pablo (35M) five years ago, we dated two years before that. We have a four years old daughter together. To make it short, we started to have problems like a year and a half ago, having a toddler, both of us working two hard jobs just made everything real difficult, and it all got worst when he ended up cheating on me. If we didn't have a daughter, I would have ghosted him and the next time he would have heard from me would have been through my lawyers and with divorce papers. I have a low tolerance for this kind of things and know when to walk out, but we have a daughter together, and as much as I don't think that it can be good to stay in a marriage for a child, she was still real little and didn't want to miss any more time with her. Raising a toddler alone is really hard, and I didn't want that, so I agreed to couples counseling. He didn't put any excuses, he just begged for forgiveness over and over. I thought I was over the affair, I really thought that. I didn't think about it. But I started to talk over the phone with Guido (32M) like three months after I discovered my husband's affair. Guido and I dated for five years. From seventeen to twenty two. We started dating in our last year of highschool, and then we mantained a long distance relationship for two years, although we saw each other often, until he moved to the city I was living in. We eventually broke up because we wanted different things. He was sure about not wanting to have children, and even though I clearly didn't in that moment, I was sure I would want to become a mom in the future. So we left it at that. Plus, after my graduation I moved to the capital because I got a good job there, and he stayed there. But he had moved to the capital after his relationship ended because of his ex's cheating, and I was the only one he knew here. We started to talk regularly over the phone. Usually when I was on small breaks at work or while I was taking care of my daughter by myself. Then we started to do something we used to do often, and it was to play games online together on our free time. We used to do that a lot when we had a long distance relationship. Then we started to meet up from time to time, even went to the movies together. I tried to convince myself that we were just catching up, but it clearly wasn't like that, I wanted to be with him. I tried to put a stop to it. But Guido kissed me when I met him to tell him this, and even though I stopped him almost right away, as dramatic as it sounds, it was more than enough for me to realize that I couldn't stay married anymore if I had feelings for someone else. He apologized for kissing me, but asked me to leave my husband, since he knew I wasn't happy with him, and he was right. I was comfortable maybe, but not happy. Not at all. I realized I didn't actually forgave my ex husband, but I had fallen out of love, and that's why I didn't care about the affair. I should have known, like I said, I'm not the kind who would forgive cheating, but I didn't think you could fall out of love with someone you've been for so long that fast, and I guess I mistaked familiarity with love.
This is already going too long. I started the divorce proceedings, I sat Pablo down and explained that I was divorcing him. He cried and cried, begged for another chance, but I just told him no, that I had fallen out of love with him and there was no going back from that. He gave up after insisting and begging, and literally didn't put any complications on the divorce, he didn't berated me or anything like that during the divorce. We sold our house, split the money and got 50/50 custody. I bought a nice apartment with two bedrooms close to my daughter's kindergarden, and a couple of weeks after the divorce had been finalized, I asked Guido to meet up. We hadn't seen each other since I had informed him about me getting a divorce, just because I didn't want to start anything being married, and also, he was bussy trying to get a promotion. We decided to give it a shot, but I asked him for us to take things slow, and he agreed to it. And we have been dating for a couple of months now, and it has been great. My friends and my family, who I'm really close to, knows about us. My family in particular is real happy, they never really liked Pablo that much, and they always loved Guido, especially my dad. But he doesn't knows my daughter yet, that's why Pablo just recently found out about me and Guido being back together. Pablo didn't take the news too good, and when he came to pick our daughter, he was really mad at me. He started to tell me I led him on into thinking I could forgive him for months just to dump him for my ex. That he had tried his best to make up for what he did to me, to win my trust back and when he finally thought he had done it, I crushed his heart. Saying he has been miserable since I left him, and he really does look bad and depressed. He has gained weight, he looks tired all the time and I haven't seen him smile in months. But I told him that if I falled out of love with him is because he betrayed me in the worst way possible, and that's on him entirely. I tried to forgive him, but I couldn't and I falled out of love, and I can't change that. I told him I'm sorry if he's hurt now, but after all, it's the consequences of his own actions, and I won't apologize for falling in love with someone else, because again, it probably wouldn't have happend if he hadn't cheated on me. Now he needs to move on and that's it, and I even suggested therapy for him.
My friends and family are on my side and they are telling me I did nothing wrong, but I think they would be on my side even if I had set the house on fire with him inside, so I don't think their opinions are that neutral. I have my doubts, AITA?

I was diagnosed with lupus and fibromyalgia in November. I spent 4 months almost unable to walk at all. I’m doing a lot better now, but it’s hard for me to walk farther distances or stay on my feet long.
I’m getting immunosuppressant infusions and stuff, so I’m doing all the things I can be medically I think.
I’ve been flaring up so badly the last week. I’ve been doing a little steroid pulse, and I have pain meds but I don’t like to take them when I want to be present with what I’m doing. I wen’t on a short trip to the mall and I am in so much pain now.
I’ve been all against getting a cane because I feel like it won’t help, or it’ll bring unwanted attention. I’m headed into clinicals at nursing school and I’m afraid people will think I can never be a real nurse.
I’m at the point where I’m just over it. I don’t want to be hobbling and struggling at unpredictable times because my body decides to be stupid that day. There is no day I am painless, but I really would like to be able to enjoy myself out of the house without so much repercussion.
I’m about to get married and go on my honeymoon (3 weeks away), and I’m just picturing myself struggling to get around and see our travel spot, and then laying in agony all night from walking too far. Or, being fuzzy on pain meds the whole time.
I can just buy a cane and fit it using an online guide, but is that okay? Do I need be measured by a doctor? I don’t want to do more damage to my body by doing it wrong.

Okay, I know that the title sounds bad.
Throwaway account, my friends follow my personal account. Also, english is not my first language, I'm from Latin America. To be honest, my english is pretty rusty right now, so there might be some mistakes. Also, the post is pretty long, so I apologize in advance for that.
So for some background, I (32F) married my now ex husband Pablo (35M) five years ago, we dated two years before that. We have a four years old daughter together. To make it short, we started to have problems like a year and a half ago, having a toddler, both of us working two hard jobs just made everything real difficult, and it all got worst when he ended up cheating on me. If we didn't have a daughter, I would have ghosted him and the next time he would have heard from me would have been through my lawyers and with divorce papers. I have a low tolerance for this kind of things and know when to walk out, but we have a daughter together, and as much as I don't think that it can be good to stay in a marriage for a child, she was still real little and didn't want to miss any more time with her. Raising a toddler alone is really hard, and I didn't want that, so I agreed to couples counseling. He didn't put any excuses, he just begged for forgiveness over and over. I thought I was over the affair, I really thought that. I didn't think about it. But I started to talk over the phone with Guido (32M) like three months after I discovered my husband's affair. Guido and I dated for five years. From seventeen to twenty two. We started dating in our last year of highschool, and then we mantained a long distance relationship for two years, although we saw each other often, until he moved to the city I was living in. We eventually broke up because we wanted different things. He was sure about not wanting to have children, and even though I clearly didn't in that moment, I was sure I would want to become a mom in the future. So we left it at that. Plus, after my graduation I moved to the capital because I got a good job there, and he stayed there. But he had moved to the capital after his relationship ended because of his ex's cheating, and I was the only one he knew here. We started to talk regularly over the phone. Usually when I was on small breaks at work or while I was taking care of my daughter by myself. Then we started to do something we used to do often, and it was to play games online together on our free time. We used to do that a lot when we had a long distance relationship. Then we started to meet up from time to time, even went to the movies together. I tried to convince myself that we were just catching up, but it clearly wasn't like that, I wanted to be with him. I tried to put a stop to it. But Guido kissed me when I met him to tell him this, and even though I stopped him almost right away, as dramatic as it sounds, it was more than enough for me to realize that I couldn't stay married anymore if I had feelings for someone else. He apologized for kissing me, but asked me to leave my husband, since he knew I wasn't happy with him, and he was right. I was comfortable maybe, but not happy. Not at all. I realized I didn't actually forgave my ex husband, but I had fallen out of love, and that's why I didn't care about the affair. I should have known, like I said, I'm not the kind who would forgive cheating, but I didn't think you could fall out of love with someone you've been for so long that fast, and I guess I mistaked familiarity with love.
This is already going too long. I started the divorce proceedings, I sat Pablo down and explained that I was divorcing him. He cried and cried, begged for another chance, but I just told him no, that I had fallen out of love with him and there was no going back from that. He gave up after insisting and begging, and literally didn't put any complications on the divorce, he didn't berated me or anything like that during the divorce. We sold our house, split the money and got 50/50 custody. I bought a nice apartment with two bedrooms close to my daughter's kindergarden, and a couple of weeks after the divorce had been finalized, I asked Guido to meet up. We hadn't seen each other since I had informed him about me getting a divorce, just because I didn't want to start anything being married, and also, he was bussy trying to get a promotion. We decided to give it a shot, but I asked him for us to take things slow, and he agreed to it. And we have been dating for a couple of months now, and it has been great. My friends and my family, who I'm really close to, knows about us. My family in particular is real happy, they never really liked Pablo that much, and they always loved Guido, especially my dad. But he doesn't knows my daughter yet, that's why Pablo just recently found out about me and Guido being back together. Pablo didn't take the news too good, and when he came to pick our daughter, he was really mad at me. He started to tell me I led him on into thinking I could forgive him for months just to dump him for my ex. That he had tried his best to make up for what he did to me, to win my trust back and when he finally thought he had done it, I crushed his heart. Saying he has been miserable since I left him, and he really does look bad and depressed. He has gained weight, he looks tired all the time and I haven't seen him smile in months. But I told him that if I falled out of love with him is because he betrayed me in the worst way possible, and that's on him entirely. I tried to forgive him, but I couldn't and I falled out of love, and I can't change that. I told him I'm sorry if he's hurt now, but after all, it's the consequences of his own actions, and I won't apologize for falling in love with someone else, because again, it probably wouldn't have happend if he hadn't cheated on me. Now he needs to move on and that's it, and I even suggested therapy for him.
My friends and family are on my side and they are telling me I did nothing wrong, but I think they would be on my side even if I had set the house on fire with him inside, so I don't think their opinions are that neutral. I have my doubts, AITA?

Okay, I know that the title sounds bad.
Throwaway account, my friends follow my personal account. Also, english is not my first language, I'm from Latin America. To be honest, my english is pretty rusty right now, so there might be some mistakes. Also, the post is pretty long, so I apologize in advance for that.
So for some background, I (32F) married my now ex husband Pablo (35M) five years ago, we dated two years before that. We have a four years old daughter together. To make it short, we started to have problems like a year and a half ago, having a toddler, both of us working two hard jobs just made everything real difficult, and it all got worst when he ended up cheating on me. If we didn't have a daughter, I would have ghosted him and the next time he would have heard from me would have been through my lawyers and with divorce papers. I have a low tolerance for this kind of things and know when to walk out, but we have a daughter together, and as much as I don't think that it can be good to stay in a marriage for a child, she was still real little and didn't want to miss any more time with her. Raising a toddler alone is really hard, and I didn't want that, so I agreed to couples counseling. He didn't put any excuses, he just begged for forgiveness over and over. I thought I was over the affair, I really thought that. I didn't think about it. But I started to talk over the phone with Guido (32M) like three months after I discovered my husband's affair. Guido and I dated for five years. From seventeen to twenty two. We started dating in our last year of highschool, and then we mantained a long distance relationship for two years, although we saw each other often, until he moved to the city I was living in. We eventually broke up because we wanted different things. He was sure about not wanting to have children, and even though I clearly didn't in that moment, I was sure I would want to become a mom in the future. So we left it at that. Plus, after my graduation I moved to the capital because I got a good job there, and he stayed there. But he had moved to the capital after his relationship ended because of his ex's cheating, and I was the only one he knew here. We started to talk regularly over the phone. Usually when I was on small breaks at work or while I was taking care of my daughter by myself. Then we started to do something we used to do often, and it was to play games online together on our free time. We used to do that a lot when we had a long distance relationship. Then we started to meet up from time to time, even went to the movies together. I tried to convince myself that we were just catching up, but it clearly wasn't like that, I wanted to be with him. I tried to put a stop to it. But Guido kissed me when I met him to tell him this, and even though I stopped him almost right away, as dramatic as it sounds, it was more than enough for me to realize that I couldn't stay married anymore if I had feelings for someone else. He apologized for kissing me, but asked me to leave my husband, since he knew I wasn't happy with him, and he was right. I was comfortable maybe, but not happy. Not at all. I realized I didn't actually forgave my ex husband, but I had fallen out of love, and that's why I didn't care about the affair. I should have known, like I said, I'm not the kind who would forgive cheating, but I didn't think you could fall out of love with someone you've been for so long that fast, and I guess I mistaked familiarity with love.
This is already going too long. I started the divorce proceedings, I sat Pablo down and explained that I was divorcing him. He cried and cried, begged for another chance, but I just told him no, that I had fallen out of love with him and there was no going back from that. He gave up after insisting and begging, and literally didn't put any complications on the divorce, he didn't berated me or anything like that during the divorce. We sold our house, split the money and got 50/50 custody. I bought a nice apartment with two bedrooms close to my daughter's kindergarden, and a couple of weeks after the divorce had been finalized, I asked Guido to meet up. We hadn't seen each other since I had informed him about me getting a divorce, just because I didn't want to start anything being married, and also, he was bussy trying to get a promotion. We decided to give it a shot, but I asked him for us to take things slow, and he agreed to it. And we have been dating for a couple of months now, and it has been great. My friends and my family, who I'm really close to, knows about us. My family in particular is real happy, they never really liked Pablo that much, and they always loved Guido, especially my dad. But he doesn't knows my daughter yet, that's why Pablo just recently found out about me and Guido being back together. Pablo didn't take the news too good, and when he came to pick our daughter, he was really mad at me. He started to tell me I led him on into thinking I could forgive him for months just to dump him for my ex. That he had tried his best to make up for what he did to me, to win my trust back and when he finally thought he had done it, I crushed his heart. Saying he has been miserable since I left him, and he really does look bad and depressed. He has gained weight, he looks tired all the time and I haven't seen him smile in months. But I told him that if I falled out of love with him is because he betrayed me in the worst way possible, and that's on him entirely. I tried to forgive him, but I couldn't and I falled out of love, and I can't change that. I told him I'm sorry if he's hurt now, but after all, it's the consequences of his own actions, and I won't apologize for falling in love with someone else, because again, it probably wouldn't have happend if he hadn't cheated on me. Now he needs to move on and that's it, and I even suggested therapy for him.
My friends and family are on my side and they are telling me I did nothing wrong, but I think they would be on my side even if I had set the house on fire with him inside, so I don't think their opinions are that neutral. I have my doubts, AITA?

Sometimes I read something online or experience something in real life where I think the thinking is dumb behind it so I get the urge to write massive-ass philosophical treatises and develop huge, elaborate logical structures and systems of thought to explain what I think is a better alternative, mostly as a way of saying, "I'm feeling quite sad right now because of this, let me tell you EXACTLY why it makes me sad".