Choti bahu ki chudai

As I clearly mentioned only females. No males DM me. Ek hawsi chudasi maa chahiye ish hawsi madarchod bete keliyem. maa ek dum hawas se bhari hui chudasi ho. Ushe apne bete se chudna bahot pasand ho. Bete ke lund ki pyasi maa, din raat jo bete se lagatar chudti hi rahe...
Ghar me bhi maa nangi rahe or bete sath bahar jate time adhi nangi hoke jaye taki beta jab chahe tab chudai kre maa ki

Hey champ,I hope you will read this soon or whenever or will you or will you not, you may cry when you will read this coz I am while writing this. (This I said to myself before writing this)
Last 2 years of my life have been very painful and suffering, I have been through a lot, I even lost my father I am shedding a lot, a hell lot of tears.
Opted for JEE after 10th since then I have barely met or had a party with my friends, loved to do hell let of extra curriculars but left all of them because of JEE, got my board results of 10th scored 92.6,but got nothing if I tell them that got nothing after this then they'd say ki tuh bta tujhe kya chahiye,,, are yaar apko pta hai mujhe gaming ka shok hai, aur itni cheezo ka hai khi ghuma hee laate, uske naam pe bc sirf kanpur gye. Then gave JEE, though my results were not that good but decent asked for nothing,, I asked them ki online payment karvado almost 6 months ago coz a hell lot of sites from which I like to buy things (from my own money) don't accept COD and I have only cash,,, fuckin 14 year old kids use fampay every guy I know uses it and when I confronted them this today they are like generation gap, wtf????
After JM 2 results I thought if acha aata hai I will gift myself a Real Madrid Jersey but acha nhi aaya isliye nhi ki for board mein I thought I will fail in Physics but 85 ke aas paas aa gye and I was happy so I was like yes let's order a Real Madrid kit , was checking prices and I said to myself,, puri kit "1200 tk aa jaygi",, my mum walks in and says ki paiso ki brbaadi mt kar. I swear I was gonna cry on this but I didn't as some of my relatives were there in the house and I didn't wanted to create a mess.She didn't do this the first time, I wanted a Cristiano poster for my room and she again was like "paise ki brbadi mt kr room khaarab karega"
Yaar meine 2 saal se kuch nhi manga, even paise mein khud deta but still bc yaar 200 ka poster nhi aata 😭. Coming back to the day I was gonna order my jersey.
My mother was gonna leave the city for a week and I thought ki I am now gonna order a Real Madrid Cr7 jersey online. I had the money and I didn't ask them for it. But again the problem was ki the major dealers only accepted online and I didn't use online. I asked my brother ki order krdo online 1hfta ho gya he hasn't order it.
Now today :
I am very sad as I have my BITSAT IN 3 days and i haven't been able to study coz of all this shit and I haven't covered the chapters which aren't in JEE but are in BITSAT, mocks diye but I realised ki iss attempt mein acha nhi ho payga, also because I stopped studying for BITS because I thought ki PCM MEIN 75 nhi aayenga(Thank god aagye)
I am frustrated as fuck as was depressed and since the last week, only studying and lying on the bed, I was crying in my bed, my brother came and asked me what's the deal?
I spilled everything ki muje mum choti choti chezon ke liye mana krti hai (even though I am 18 , for which I don't even ask money for and which I have only decided to order after an exam result of which I am satisfied of)
Once I was going to play PS with my friend for an hour and (after JEE M 2) and both said no.
I kept crying while expressing the thoughts that were in my mind since the 2 years.
Everytime I said ki "mein yaha jana chahta tha after xyz exam but you didn't allow me" My brother said GENERATION GAP hai hamare beech (10 Saal)
Bc har baar yahi cheez har baar yahi cheez he said. It's like say in college I am not going to stay a night on campus for xyz reason say a show/concert and I ask their permission then will they reject it saying ki "GENERATION GAP" HAI.
I am done guys I want to leave my home, I just wanted a shirt and a poster (for a reward to myself and I was the only one who was gonna pay for it and was gonna go to my friends place after the exam and they always said no, it even makes me more sad when my friends after scoring less that 80 are going to London and foreign trips.)
I am just working Hard for a BITS, and I am willing to live a restriction free life.
Sorry if it was long story and idk if I am being stupid but I had to write this.

Life ki sach m lag chuki h 19 ki hu, 17 m 12th krliya tha aur abhi Tak college ka kuch pta nhi h 4 saal (11th-2nd drop) se neet ki tyari kri lekin iss bar bhi state quota se mil jayega college jiski fees 12lakh + h jo m afford ni kr skti.
Parents m bs maa h jo khud struggle kr rhi h aur depressed h. Recently ran away from house (with mom, my mom's family knew) kuki waha toh halat aur bhi kharab thi aur mmy zeher khane ja Rahi thi
Mujhe samjh ni ara meri galti kaha h , mujhe pta h life fair nahi hoti lekin iska mtlv ye thodi ki har jagah se m hi pilu , mene toh wo sab kuch Kiya Jo mujhe supposedly karna chahiye tha
1- sab classes m 94% + leke ayi
2- kabhi intentionally kuch galat ni kiya kisi k liye
3- hmesa chup rahi taki sar k upar chath ho
4- bewajah mar khayi , gaaliya suni , wo sab kuch suna or dekha Jo ek bache ko sunne or dekhne se pehle mar jana chahiye
5- anxiety attacks ate the toh khud toh wrap krke Beth jati thi
6- dosto ne apni aukat dikhai
7- family toh chalo family kehlane layak thi hi nhi
8- jab mmy ki Jaan m baat aai toh himmat dikhai or unko leke aai us nark se bahar
9- hmesa sbko hosla dete gyi ki sab thik honaega, krlenge hum kuch
10- jab mmy ko sath leke ayi toh mmy ne kuch kam pakda kharche k liye toh padai k sath Ghar sambhala
Na jane kya kiya kya nahi Lekin kuch bhi thik nahi ho rha
Maa kehti h tu pad m apni jewellery bech dungi lekin uske alawa toh hmare pass kuch h bhi nahi toh agar jarurat pad gyi toh kya krenge
Bhai bhi wahi bnta ja rha h jisse dur bhagi thi itni himmat krke.
Mmy kehti h tu koi choti moti job krne ki mat soch , apne career m focus kr m tujhe achi jagah dekhna chahti hu . Unko prove Krna h sabko ki wo galat the aur mujhme potential h lekin mujhse ab nhi hota.
M thak chuki hu , M THAK CHUKI HU

Done with exams planning to go on a trip but that garmi rajsthan me koi jagah h jha jyada expense na lage or 1-2 din ki choti si trip ho jaye !

Saba waise bhi maudaha kam rehti hai plus vlogs main bhi kam dikhte hai sunny ke parents toh theek se unke baare main hum nahi bata sakte .Saba ne sunny se shadi karke apni life main khud hi bhasad machayi hai.Wo apne terms par apni life jee rahi hai ( paiso ke dam par sab ko bribe karke). Uski family lalchi hai par yaar itna bhi nahi ki apni beti se attachement nahi hoga.Value uski badh gayi hai waha ab bas pehle se. Sunny ki family ke saath na attachement hai na koi special treatment milta hai bas apni earning ka thoda share dekar bahu ki responsibilty puri karwa raha hai sunny. PS - Sunny lalchi bura phasa diya apne parents ko.

She said in her vlog " mujhe darr lag gaya tha ki mujhe sunna na pade ki tumko itna bhi nahi aata, kuch seekha nahi...etc etc...and this thought made me cry!!
FEW QUESTIONS TO YOU:-
Pehle toh yeh batao..kiska sunane ka Darr tha? Ammi, Abba ya shauhar?
After earning so much every month from vlogging this level of confidence, vulnerability, weakness, phattu behaviour you show to your audience!!!
Jab tumhara shauhar bolta hai ki mere parents duniya ke sabse achche parents hai,kabhi tumhe kisi cheez ke liye roka Toka nahi hai toh itni choti si galti ke liye tumhe kyu Darr laga ki sunna padega aur Rona nikal gaya??
One thing is for sure!
Tum apne sasural apne shauhar ke bagair ek pal bhi nahi ruk sakti! Isiliye jab akeli hoti ho toh khala ke yahan bhaag jaati ho....Tumhari phatke haath mein aa jayegi ghar mein inlaws ke sath rukne mein! because you don't trust them at all!

bhai dekho ill try to be as nice and to the point to be possible
when i came to this subreddit for the time it was the first time me using reddit coz a friend of mine used to share posts of this subreddit and i genuinely enjoyed scrolling jeeneetards but bhai abhi itni negative vibe hogyi h iss sub ki har koi bas dukh ki baate karta h lets come to the first point cheating bhai kitna roge bhai ? cheating karli wow karliya bash usko dedi gaali beetgaya ek hafta ab aage bado na ? kitna rona dhona karoge about ruining jee han i understand jee kharab hojaata h har jagah mehnat kaam nahi karti bhagwan kismat ek chees hoti h i understand but bhai hafto hafto tak bas rote rhoge ki nta esa h wesa h ? kuch kar skte ho to karo nahi to chup betho lekin tmuhe post karna h padayi k ilava dusre exams ki tayyari ko chordkar reddit scroll karna aur post karna h aur jo log khete h saare exams gande gaye bhai tum chutiya ho jo saare exams gande kardiye jee 1st gaya 2nd gaya advanced maanlo cuet gaya vitee bhi gaya? bitsat bhi gaya ? be mtlab rr karna hota h genuine posts karliya karo bhai kabhi to rr k ilava jitna scroll karo all you do IS CRY i guess our youth has to come up with a strong mental state and thoda positive mindset ham bhot jyada hi rr karte hai aur bhot jyada hi negativity se surrounded hote h hobbies ko side rkh dete ho jocheeso ko enjoy karte ho side rkh dete ho bhai maa chudaye jee 2 ghante to kuch esa karo jisme sukoon milta ho maja aata ho thike bhai nahi jayenge iit nahi jaayenge nit make it clear to parents
JEE IS ONLY TO GIVE A BOOST TO YOUR CAREER INSTEAD OF A 6LPA ull get 10-14LPA thats fucking it THHE END FULL STOP thats the only thing of jee to meet good people and give a boost to your career yall have made it your entire fucking life han maine bhi holi chordkar jee ki padayi kari diwali side rkhke padayi kari COZ I LVOED TO STUDY I KNEW MAI ABHI CHOTI UMARMAI MEHNAT KARUNGA TO AAGE JAKAR UTNA PEACEFUL LIFE HOGA i study coz i want to study and i like studying i like solving questions the sense of achivement i get after solving a uqestion aur mock mai 25 mai se 20 sawal ya maths ka tough question hona tests mai questions hona i get the sense of achivement isliye padta hu kisike pressure mai nahi padta hu kisi KE LIYE NAHI PADTAH U APNE LIYE PADTA HU
reservation ke liye bhi rote h ye bache are jee ki padayi karte wakt nahi pata tha kya ki kitne percentile laani h ? tab nahi rona aya ki obc sc st le jaata h seat tumhari ?
are le jaata h to le jaata constitution badlega ? dusre exam ki tayyari karle lagrta h 99% nahi aayegi to loan leke padliyo bitsat clear karle just stop with rr thing
bhot time se mann tha ye vent out karne ka kyuki ccuties se ghirkar tang aagya hu
anyways keep studying work hard bhagwan ki pooja karo mann ko shaant rakho upar wala jo akrega acha karega have a good day

I wonder koi aurat itna earn karti ho aur itne properties bana rahi ho khud ke paese se aur wo choti choti baat pe vulnerability dikha rahi hai .... Ye ajeeb lagta hai.
Ye natak ho sakta hai Darna aur pati ki sewa and all lekin females ke liye ek ghalat message hai. Inki viewers to inki nakal karne ki koshish Kari hain na ...
Dabba aur cringika hanikarak hain auraton ke liye.

so i was feeling a bit low (suicidal hi) but last time suicidal bola tha toh sab kehre thee choti choti baat pe suicidal ho jaate hai toh ab nahi bolungi..anyways i m considering bds but agr khuda na khaasta nhi mila toh bsc nursing b ho skta hai govt college se toh i want a suggestion that ki bds/bvsc/bams ya bsc nursing from a good govt college which is more preferred??...
also my reason for not taking a drop is basically mental stress... jitna 2 saal mei hua hai i dont wanna risk it one more time plus i dont think so i can increase my marks to that much level i mean mai thoda sa unsure hu toh mai kisi ko disappoint nhi krna chahti dubara(parents ko toh lgta hai sab bahane hai anyways)
also i am also looking for some online mental health counselling or something like that because i think i really need to talk to somebody varna mai aise hi toxicity mei reh reh kar mar jaungi...i m open to paid ones as well!

this is more of a vent post than relationship but idk konsa flair use kru.
but like i have this confession that i want to get off from my chest. i broke up with my boyfriend. idk i just did it. i didn't want to continue the relationship. my love for him was fading day by day. i tried to force it but it didn't help. i started getting annoyed oh him and his text. got fights choti choti baaton pe. felt suffocated asf.
he was immature as a person and fails to give emotional support. he wants what he wants and thats it. doesn't care if its okay with me or not. like he's emotionally immature too. and prolly a fkboy too. he had shit tons of exs. but he was serious af with me. idk what happened in between us. i couldn't bare him anymore.
i just lied to him ki my parents caught us and they're angry about it. they're VERY strict and want us to break up. and so i did. i do feel terrible because i made him cry alot today.
like his family knows about me. I've talked to his brother and cousins. and even mother once (accidentally.. i called him but his mum picked up the phone) but yeah. his father and mausi somewhere too knows about it. it feels like I've shattered everything.
idk i hope he gets over it asap and moves on. i hope he finds someone who truly worths his love and time. it wasn't me. i hope he find one soon. and i really really hope vo koi galat step na uthaaye.
and i dont actually feel sad. im a REALLY emotional person but i didn't cry a tear. idk i don't feel like crying at all. but i do feel terrible. like alotttt. I've just came to this realisation that relationships aren't just my thing. i do get bored very easily. like it only takes me 1-2 months to get bored of the person i love and to move on. he's everything i ever wanted. i even had a crush on him before we got together. but here we are. here i am. and it isn't happened like first time. there are numerous other people I've got bored if and left. and ab toh I don't even feel guilty. i dont feel anything. i just do it.
but yeah aage se I'll make sure to not get into any further serious relationships. ab bss arrange marriage hi krungi.
shit.

Dabba ne sabko shopping karwai ammi, dono khala and amma; but jaise ye log faltu ka content or thumbnail banate thy fuhaan ki ammi fuhaan ki ammi toh wahi fuhaan ki ammi ka phela mother's day tha kuch special effort nhi ???? Dabba itna sukha sukha sab kuch ??? Abhi tumhare he bhai bhabhi ne tumko woh challenge karwaya jisme tumne woh saman liya h jo sayad Zindagii me nhi dekha hoga ya khareeda hoga even tumko use he nhi karna ayega jiss level ka professional saman layi ho or suit bhi le aayi thi.... Toh vlog ke liye he sahi ek bag ya suit bhabhi ke liye bhi le leti. Downvotes hoga but I really don't care maydumb koi dudh ki dhulli nhi h lekin is this right ?? Not pampering her in pregnancy days , postpartum pregnancy days and even when you are saying everything on vlog and like taunting toh kya ek suit ya kuch bhi bhabhi ke liye bol deti toh kya choti ho jati challu ?? Challu your bhabhi did really good with you if it's on camera then also kam se kam show to karti thi na she groomed her, shadi , shopping, such gifts every thing thoda toh insaan ko ehsaan faramosh hona chahiye.

Rant about green flag kt.
Green forest kt
Also Noone has proposed to one another yet We just in dating phase, not in relationship 🤷🏼‍♂️
Continuation...
So as usual hami tya bhaktapur bata wednesday farkyem ghar. Then we chatted for a while and she continuously requested me to rant about her and so whats I did. But she was expecting a roast lol Haha. Thursday, i was busy with college assignments so we didnt talk that much haiii but she called me on my mobile and we talked for a lil bit and we came up with a plan to go to pulchowki this saturday. Friday mero international student eligibility scholarship ko lagi naxal ma interview thiyo so tya gako they. Thikai vayo interview ani ma ghar ayera sute.
Ani tespaxi baneshwor ghumna niske ma college mates vetna like bato ma she called me and we were on phone the whole time in bus, bla bla kura vo ani i found it funny when she asked aru kt lai vetna ta gairachainau ni and eben apologised to me if she was sounding desperate for attention, anyways ma khayera farke around 7. So, friday is club night for me and bois. So as usual my best friend said club jam vanera but i denied yesterday because club gaye vane hiking jana mildaina vanera, sathi pheri risayo ma sanga, hike ma tyo ni auna wala plan thiyo but ma club jana namanera risayo u ani audina vanyo. So at last, we decided, she and i will go alone.
Tara u sanga kunai ramro luga thena hike ma lagaune vanthyo soo i said chinta naliga, i will bring one t-shirt for you merai lagau. And she agreed. Teii 7 baje samma Sato bato pugam vanera plan banaye ani halka chat garera sutyem. Uslai pheri nidra lagenaxa 12 baje and she had had messaged me lol but ma nidayi sakera herina. Mero ni ankha 4:56 ma khulyo ani ma fresh vayera ani uslai uthauna call gare(personal alarm things) ani tespaci Dubai jana ready vayera 6 baje tira afno afno ghar bata niskem.
Ma chadai pugeko they so,tya i bought some bananas and snacks to munch on because why not. 🤷🏼‍♂️ Ani tespaxi tyo ni ayoo, saw her from distance, waved hi andbwe hugged and i was standing there like a stud holding ek darjan kera.😂 and she was like kasle khanxa yetro thulo thulo kera which i found funny. Anyways she complimented that i looked cute today banera Soo hamii micro chadyem
ani me being chalak as i am, bought earphone instead of air pods so that we can share it in a romantic way. Ek earphone do atma moment vayo for next 30min or so. Hahaha aba hera mero mobile ma matra dik chik song (the script, post molane, drake, lil baby, rammstein, pink flyod shits) haru matra thiyo so she wasn't really impressed with my music taste balla talla photograph vane euta romantic song vetyo tyo sunyo majale othrr than that i felt she tolerated listening to my favourite songs. I really glad that I didn't play Travis Scott songs to her though. (By the Travis Scott is fucking legend)
Tespaxi, pugem, we bought snacks and some drinks and around 8 pm hidyem mathi. Uslai pheri yad ayo she has to take her medicines, so we stopped at nearby bhati looking hotel for chiya and sel. She ordered black tea and I ordered milk tea. She wanted to dip her sel in my jutho chiya ani she asked if she can try. And she drank my jutho chiya brooooo what😭😭 mero siblings ra cousins le ni das choti socha houuu. Teii aba khayera hidyem. Then i remembered that i bought her t-shirt and i showed her that, she was looking fine af already but she still wanted to wear mine. Najik ko hotel ma gayera change garyo and it was suiting her well.
Anii teii Guff gardai hidira them. Ekdam jiskera. Also she wore my jacket lol. Bichma basera couple wala photography ni garem also ek arka ko roast pani hanira them. Vro laughed at my dumbest jokes yrrr. Lolol lamest jokes possible. J hos ramailo nai vaira thiyo. We were listening to romantic songsz talking about past experiences, and sharing opinions. Just idk i wanted to prank my ex gf which she somehow agreed for, but network nai milena lol. Tespaxi we sat and ate chips tyo ni tesle malai afnai hath le khuwayo, so cuteeeeeee haha. Jhan afai euta khane, malai 3-4 wota ekchoti khuwaune like a child. Haha. It was cute though. We then again clicked pictures, rested. Ani teii jiskera basira them. About nonsense stuffs literally. Bato ma she was like playing with my hair ani maile ni usko tanira they kapal. Harek kura ma rich kid Rich kid Banera malai jiskaira thiyo tho which was halka annoying.
Literally hath ma hath samayera hidira them haha. Looked cute haha. Asked one uncle to click our couple pictures and it came out cute. Ma chor jasto dekhira chu vanira they, to Which she said, that i look good and i have good or say decent fashion sense Alsoo teii usko crush ko nam ni samw merai ho which i found halka weird but it's true. Tespaxi weather suddenly change vayo, ani pani parna thalyo.
Do jaan, ek umbrella moment vayo hamro. Cuddle garyem anii listened to romantic songs like mila ho tumse, aye ho zindagi me, rabata bala bala. Nachdai rain ma gayira them alsoo singing with our chateko bora voice We still continued the journey despite rain. Anii like ma bato ma thadai hidxu soo she wss like tmi side laga chup chap and scolded me lol ki tmlai kei vayo vane, ma k garne (flirting way ma) haha which I found cute. Tespaxi vir chada ni u agadi hidne ani malai paxadi bata tanera lagnii it was cute. Alsooo like ma bolna like chup chap basyo vane ni like sodhni where are u lost, k sochira testo testo, basically attention chaira thiyo lol. Alsooo like mero lagi chata ni samatyo and like maile eta aau uta auu Vanda ni testai manii. Teii ek arka ko pura billa udaira them belabela ma.
Tespaxi like 1 bajna lako thiyo so ajai 2hrs journey baki thiyo so we decided to return without reaching mathi samma. Bato ma testaii, hath ma hath samayera hidira them alsoo like maile chorna bitikai tesle kehi minutes pachi afai tyo hath samauthiyo which I found so cuteee. More couple pictures lim testai testai. Khadai ramaudaii ghumyem. Alsoo we talked about dark secrets also.. by the way, like she was so considerate k. Tyo jacket layera ako thena, so i gave her mine but bela bela ma she gave me to wear it chiso lagxa tmlai Banera lagau. Alsooo saman haru ni samaidira thiyo. Alsooo bela bela gentleman gentleman Banera malai jiskaira thiyo lol.
Coincidentally pulchowki hiking bato ma tesko school friends le dekhyo hamlai cuddle gardai also hath samaudai ani uslai jiskiyo halka so for sometimes she became sad jasto but pachi pheri mood fresh vayo anii teii pheri ramrari bolna thalem. Halka gham lageko thiyo tyo bela, soo we clicked more pics anii teii Guff gardai hidira thiyem. Ek arka lai herdai smile gardai, dank jokes crack gardai tala jharyam. Alsoo like i said tmi tmlaima dependent ma lagxu bahira chinta naleuu jiskeea. To which she was like yes yes malai laga lol
(Kunai kunai incident yad airaxaina) Tara it was cute moments together. Literally i couldn't believe we were meeting for the second time.
Tespaci gadi chadyem ani lagankhel gayem. Gadi ma she was sleeping on my shoulders. Cuteeeee haha. Lagankhel to durbar square, jada i bought her two jhumkas. Tespaxii patan ma rooftop lasa something something ma basem anii enjoyed momo pizza testai ani pay garne bela she didn't let me pay even if i was insisting i will pay. Literally 1000+ ko bill thiyo and she paid. Ani tespaxi i wanted to buy a ring lkina vane i lost my ring mathi hike Garda kheri anii instead she bought us matching bracelets which was cute but 300 houuu, costly lol.
Tespaci we went to have coffee in Himalayan java coffee for which i paid Clicked cute little mirror selfies. Drank coffees. Teslai mero coffee khanu man thiyo soo she again drank my jutho by asking if i can try. Enjoyed the view ani teii Guff gaff garem. Ramailo vayo ta ekchin basera. Was finally like we are back to real world after getting lost in the woods.
Tespaxi hamii farkida coincidentally lalitpur ma jatra raixa soo tyo heryam buttt literally it was so crowded lol. Uslai bacha jasto samatera anii protect garera literally tanira they from crowd like escaping game jasto. By the way, i love newari culture and cuisine. Anii testaii lagankhel pugem. Uslai bus ma chadaye ani we hugged for the last time and departed. By the way, she took my shirt and new jacket again. Mero wardrobe chorxa ki kya ho.
Bato bhari i was thinking about today memories. It was soooo fun houuuu. Literally hardly 18 hrs time spend garyo hola asti ani ajako milayera but i feeel like i have known her from so many years.
Maile ajako kati payw kura ani incidents haru chutaira xu buttt seriously kati wota cute cute moments thiyo ajaa ta hahaha sochda kheri ni blush garxu hahaha.
Are we stuck in rom com movie?
Excited for the next meet. What future holds for us?

I don’t understand why she has to wear those zabardasti ki frocks like tent all the time. Are they trying to make her feel like a Choti bacchhi ? There are so many options in the market these days she can wear comfortable co ord sets or kurta sets along with some stole. She will look well groomed and better. Saba use ajeeb jhalli banake kahi bhi le jaati. Instead of giving these girls lecture on makeup these ladies should teach them dressing up confidently and in style

we've been having alotttt of flights in these recent days. we had few today too. iss baar she slapped me lol
apparently i was being disrespectful. i mean yes i was at the wrong for raising my voice but like i dont think it was my fault this time.
so we fought shaam ko and then as usual i just went for a walk and then gurudwara. got prshad hrr roz ki trah, ate half and brought the other half for mum. she said side mein rkh de (she was still angry at me) so i did place it on the shelf.
now i went to the kitchen and saw ki prshad was still there and there were ants all over it. i told her about it, she didn't reply. so mai waha se chli gyi and baaton baaton mein i told papa about this. like casually btaaya.
had to get dinner so went to kitchen again, she said ki maine unki shikaayt lgaai papa se and she doesn't care about it. i said ki maine shikaayt nahi lgaai bss casually btaaya hai. she kept shouting about this "shikaayt" thing. i too got frustrated and raised my voice saying ki maine shikaayt nahi lgaai. then she slapped me because obviously 🤡. i didn't react, i just stood there.
papa aagye tb tk and started fighting with her ki she shouldn't have slapped me and all. i did feel bad ki they were fighting because of me. nvm
idk she's just turned into this "short tempered, chidchidi" type person. she throws tantrums choti choti baaton pe. and i know for a fact ki she aint gonna talk to me for atleast 15 days or even more ab. idek what to do now. she's just made this perspective in her head ki its only my brother who cares for her and like she's made these "teams" of me-papa and mumma- bhai. Bhai doesn't live with us now, he's moved out but she was exact same with him too back then. i dont wanna pick sides man. i need papa as well as equally mumma. anyways idk kaise mnaau unko ab. and kaise pareshaan na kru. choti choti baaton pe annoy ho jaati hain ab.
I'll join college and hostel soon but usme bhi 2-3 mhine hai. ik things gonna get worse in kuch mahino mein. but yeah I'll make thru it and I'll try ki unko bhi kamm se kamm tang kru. i really love her yaar

TLDR: I went on a blind date with a fuckboi I met on bumble and he tried to pressure me into having sex with him despite me saying I wasn't interested in hook ups before the date and saying no multiple times during.
I'm usually picky about who I meet/go on dates with, so most of my date experiences have been alright but there are times when I lose my ability to think, become impulsive and put myself in dangerous situations and this is one of those times.
I matched with him on bumble, he had a fake profile which I clocked immediately and swiped right on him to let him know about it. but after talking to him, he sounded fun so I kept texting and after texting for like 3 days, he asked me out. now, this is where I would've asked him to add me on socials first or atleast talk for a few more weeks before meeting if I were in my right mind but I was feeling "adventurous" and for some reason I thought, "you know what would be fun when you're not doing mentally okay? going on a blind date with a guy you've barely texted for 3 days". so I said yes but I did let him know that I wasn't interested in hooking up and not to waste his time if that's what he's looking for since his profile said "looking for something casual". he responded with, "yeah, it's okay. let's see where it goes." so i thought he got the hint and wouldn't bring up anything sexual on the date and I was gonna have so much fun meeting a stranger but boi was I very wrong and in for a huge disappointment.
so the date. we hadn't even exchanged phone numbers or our names for that matter so I texted him on bumble when I arrived at the place. I thought he ghosted me after waiting for 15 minute(when I was 15 minutes late myself lmao) and he was nowhere to be found but then he arrived. he looked decent, dressed well and smelled really nice so I briefly found him attractive but soon as he opened his mouth, I lost all the attraction. ekdam forced English accent. ma tyo accent sunna nasakera nepali ma reply dinchu, usle feri English ma jawaf dincha. maile use gareko English words feri kei pani bujhdaina clearly nepali accent ma bhanda pani. text garda ta thikai bolya jasto lagthyo k ho yesto bhairathe.
la jj bhayeni suru ko 30 minutes ta thikai thyo, ek arka ko introduction, interests and stuff. tespachi keto le true colors dekhauna thalyo. he brought up my body count first which I was obviously not comfortable sharing with him so told him that. tespachi ekchin topic change ani feri estai sexual question. ani maile dodge garna khoje pani ghumai firai tetai jaane. ma uncomfortable ani ali ali scared bhaisakya thye and I just wanted to get out of there. bathroom jaanchu bhanera ghost hannu parne tara mero people pleasing habit le diyena. so I just started giving him one word answers ekdam unenthusiastically. tei pani testai kura garna khojiracha ajhai. ani maile "maile timilai bhetnu agadi nai hook up ma interested chaina bhaneko thye, kina tei kura lyaira ghari ghari" bhane and bro literally went, "but I thought I could convince you".
consent ko lagi ajhai pani "convince" garchan ra bhanne sochera what the fuck bhaye ekchhin. ani jigyasa laagera sodhey pani "hook up ma interested nabhako manche lai lyayera yesari nagging garera convince ni hunchan ra?" bhanera ani he responded with "koi hunchan, koi hudainan". kasto keti haru le sex garchan hau esto keta haru lai bhanera ekchin danga nai parey. aafai boast ni garirathyo body count bare 30+ bhandai. testo charismatic sarismatic KEI thiyena feri.
maile remind garayepachi ekchin topic change garyo ani feri ghumai firai tetai tira jaana thalyo. 2-3 choti yesto garepachi sarhai bhayo bhanera "NO! stop it!" bhane. aba chai masanga kei hudaina bhanne confirm bhayesi chai mobile chalayera basna thalyo lmao. bich bich ma ali ali conversation gare jasto ni garthyo. malai insta magirathyo, ma bhutro ni dinna bhanera insta nai chaina bhandiye. tespachi food aayo, malai bhok lagirathyo. khayera jasari ni taap hanchu bhanne sochey. "yaha ko food ramro cha hai" bhandai kura nikalna thalyo ani maile "ahh" bhane and he goes "yaha tala hotel pani cha, hamro hook up huncha ki bhanera yaha bolako" re. "muji" bhanirathe man manai tara bahira bhanna sakina. ma uncomfortable bhako bhayera pani khako khai thiye so he asked why I was drinking so much. "ahh pani dherai nai khanchu ma. timilai khana man lagdaina especially w food?" bhanera sodhey and he responded with "nope. you know malai k khana man lagiracha? kiss. can we atleast kiss" bhanera feri kura nikalna thalyo. aba chai atti bho bhanera thulai swor ma "STOP, NOTHING IS HAPPENING" bhandiye ani balla chup lagyo muji. ani chito chito khayera niski haale ma. bill split garne bhanera paisa nikale, mandai manena. thikai ho tara atleast paisa ta waste bhayena mero.💀
I haven't gone on any dates after that lmao. ajhai time lagcha hola recover huna. ajha without consent chhoko bhaye ta k haal hunthyo hola mero. so girlies, don't be like me. be really picky about who you meet/go on dates with AT ALL TIMES and don't hesitate to leave abruptly if you're feeling uncomfortable because esari coerce garna khojne le without your consent chhuna pani sakchha/could do worse things to you.
be safe!

Just realised lamba chavda likh diya- Jinka exam hai kripaya kripaya karke na padhe apni padhai par dhyan de. unless break liya ho.
raat ke 2:15 baj rahe hai. and this thing is stuck in my mind since morning. mene series of bad decisions liye hai. like offcourse not resisting like mujhe engineering nahi karni , iske upar kuch karano wajah se drop lena aur bhi bahot hai, saare padhai related bhi nahi hai lekin sabse ganda drop wala tha. mujhe vet banna tha ik its yuck for some people lekin, dheere dheere i understood its the same shit as JEE tough ahhh competition everywhere. not for me. mein drawing mein bhi kaafi accha hu, mujhe banna tha ek architect, gharwalon ko lagta hai architecture is useless bruh like actual architect banne ka sapna hai mera, chalo sahi yeh nahi toh nahi commerce? NEIN Lmao
Drop year ke shuruvaat mein he mujhe malum tha nahi hone wala mujhse yeh :) jihne real interest hai IIT NIT's mein jaane ka woh tak reh jaate hai peeche. mene toh sapne bhi nahi dekhe inke lmao kyuki karni he nahi thi eng.
ab anyways drop lene ko keh diya, PCM mein daal diya, Coaching mein daal diya. itna sab kara toh karna padega hem mujhse hua nahi kuch :) 70 percentile aayi last year iss baar 70 aur second pucho na toh sahi. Though mene try kara JEE maths accha karne ka kyuki B.arch ka paper bhi dene wala tha diya bhi. Did good in drawing but idk I fucked up maths sincerely.
mere parents mujhe kitna bhi ganda score aa jaaye kuch na kehte literally. Reason is they tried for few exams and failed back in their times. and yeh jo kuch nahi kehne wala part hai it hurts more then anything. Gaali dedo toh bhi chal jayega, silence is really loud ff's
Ab mujhe really nahi pata mujhe kya karna chahiye like koi carrier switch bhi possible nahi hai. Engineering is the way now, mera cet 11 ko hai. I don't know mein kya he karunga. Pura burn out ho chukaa hu. upar se mental health ke jo actual dragonized lode lage pade hai woh different. Pata nahi kitne number aayenge ya kya, I gave mocks scored decentish or even bad for few but its relative (90-110 never more then this and less then 90). mene mera part kara sahi se sahi - Chem and maths ke 22,23 pyqs kare saare ke saare physics reh gaya though lekin koi ni gand maraye. even if i fail to score good i won't feel shit bas decent sa score aa jaye bas like 90-94 ke beech mein khushhh aaye aaye nahi aaye nahi aaye. mujhe cse bhi nahi chahiye- abhi ke liye only mechanical interest me a little kyuki mene curriculum dekha uska (mere ke cousin se pata chala sab kuch) and this is the only thing that interests me.
But life is straight up fucked. nahi mila accha percentile toh yaha local mein CSE ya entc se kaam chalana padega since there is no point in spening ONE SEXTILLION DOLLARS on a tier 55 college. Abhi ke liye i will have to stick to engineeing kyuki yahi plate pe khana dalega aage masters wagera bhi karunga since abhi toh chud gaya huuu :).
Drop na liya hota* toh aaj dost jo yahi local college mein hai unke saath admission le leta, toh i would have been much more happier atleast. khudke interest explore karta, drawing banani aati i would have worked on acrylic painting, portraits yeh woh. yeh saal jo mental health ko chot pahuchi hai that is ahhhhhhhh i don't even know what to say. Interest nahi bacha kisi mein, chalta firta laash hu bas lol.
Laptop leke balcony mein baitha hu garmi ki wajah se, planes revise kar raha tha, suddenly yeh dimag mein explodeee jaisa kar gaya ab type kar raha, Subah se su!cdeee contemplate kar raha, ro raha hu literally idk what have i even become its not academic thing lmao, gand maraye result gand maraye sab kuch 50 percentile bhi aa jaye toh i will not feel sad, kyuki kari hai mene mehnat. maths pura ragad diya chem pura ragad diya with pyqs, lack of revision is gonna fuck me prolly lekin abhi ke liye fuck it. lekin depression kaccha chaba jaa raha. na kisi mein interest hai na kuch. my mind is playing both teams- ek kehta hai pagal hai kya bsdk ? jindagi bahot choti hai, yeh sab mat soch ek kehta hai mar ja bhai life toh waise bhi suffering hai. I am damn sure i will not KMS lmao, because i am a pussy to do so and i have constant hope of things will get better. bahot dino se i didn't see anything get better isi wajah se thoda kam ho raha ispe bhi bharosa lekin again i hope things will get better :))))))
am not bluffing on depression part- actually diagnosed hu moderately depressed, many personal reasons led to this.
JO BHI DROP LENE KA SOCH RAHE HAI PLEASE I REQUEST YOU- PEHLE KHUDKO PARKHO, TUMHARI MENTAL HEALTH KAISI HAI YEH DEKHO DON'T BE STUPID AND TAKE DROP AGAR TUM ALREADY DEPRESSED AND ANXIOUS HO. IT'S A FRESH START FROM BASICS- LEKIN JUST LOOK BACK AT YOURSELF 2 YEARS AGO AND SOCHO KAHA GALAT GAYA MEIN ? MUJHE SAMAJH MEIN TOH SAB AATA THA GALAT KAHA GAYA? IT MIGHT BE LIKE PROBLEM SOLVING KAM KARI YEH WOH. LEKIN AGAR LAGE- YOU TRIED YOUR BESTT I MEAN BESST AND STILL FAILED, YOU CAN GO FOR DROP THOUGH, KEH RAHA TRIED YOUR BEST. (mIGHT KEH RAHA). SOCH SAMAJH KE LIYO DROP PLEASEEE AUR LIYA TOH KOI KASAR NA CHHODO WARNA, EK SAAL BAAD JAB TUMHARA EXAM HOTA JEE NEET CET KOI BHI USKE 3 DIN PEHLE TUM AISA RANT TYPE KAROGE 😭

i passed my +2 2012 ma...sarai psychology padhna maan thiyo, sanai dekhi it was my dream...but family and friends suggested(compelled) me...na padh,scope chaina...ani i just went with the flow just like a dead fish....joined IT...was doing well, testo ramro ni haina ma padhai ma..average thiye, still chu....11 class ma ma rusticated bhako thiye, dherai kura haru le garda..tara i passed akkai choti... 8 class ma i smoked a joint for the first time, this was back in 2008.. tara not for long..2 3 months ig....tara from 2011 i've been smoking more than a pack of cigarettes every day.....ma trekking dherai janchu,,,like 3 times a year minimum...ahilay samma testo health problem kehi ako chaina;luckily....tara i was diagnosed with bipolar when i was 15 years old and been taking mood stabilizers since...doc says i've to take it life bhari...fast forward few years 2012 bata...IT join gare pachi, 2 sem dekhi i stared doing a job...garnu parne thena tara khai i just needed extra money to do drugs so my main motive for earning was to do drugs...ani auta point ma atti bhayo ani finals aunu bhanda 6 mahina agadi i admitted myself into a rehab...kasailay jabarjasti ja bhaneko thena malai..i just wanted to change..so i did...i still dont have a bachelors degree...2015 to 2021 i was sober...never took a drop of alcohol or any other substances...i had a girlffriend when i was 17 years old..it lasted for 6 years..ghar ma aune jane sabbai hunthiyo teti khera dekhi nai...tara testai k k bhayo...hami chutiyem...uu bidesh gayo without even telling me,...break up bhako 1 mahina ma bihe garera...now she is divorced with a kid...karma hola sala...tespachi i never fell for anyone...tara i was and still addicted to sex...sex and drugs...6 barsa i was sober..tara sex ma chai i was addicted..still am...2021 ma i lost my sister whom i cared and had deep regards and always put above me..uslai kehi bhayoo bhane malai pain hune jastai thiyo...i could not cope that...we were inseparable,family never wanted us to be together..yini haru sngai bhayo bhane na sutchan na khanchan guff nai matra garera baschan....j hoss..i was a father figure to her, an idol as one may say...tara i lost her...then i started using again 2021 ma....yetti dhereai khaye ki i lost all my savings and earnings...i earn good enough;still..enough to sustain me and my family....tara tyo period ma i was earning even more, kina ki i needed drugs...and the price was high...alik besi nai high..i started working day and night...khane high hune ani kaam garne just for the money to drugs...i just wanted to numb myself anytime..could not cope that my sister was gone forever...after 2 years hoss ayo...i forgot about her...hoss nai thena 2 barsa yaad ta kaha bata aoos....ani to quit drugs i could not do it myself ani no one knew ki i was using again...everyone sees me as a cheerful guy, but only i know ki how bad of a guy i am....its kind of impossible to quit after 2 years of continuous abusing that thing...so i went for methadone treatment...tapered it quite fast...like 6 months mandatory khanu parthiyo tara i have this strong will, which i feel lucky to have...mailay less than 5 months ma tapper garera methadone ni chode...ani being sober for almost 6 months hola..i had this nightmare about my sister...feri reality hit hard...i promised myslef.. last aak choti khanchu ani i'll never do it again.. tara being an addict sanai dekhi ani on top of that being mentally unstable...again tehi phase start bhayo...drugs and meaningless sex....just to cope with..which is an excuse; i can rationalize that part... ani about a month ago.. auta kt ko abortion garnu paryo, worst part i dont know mero ho ki haina...kina ki she has a boyfriend too...ani being a rich spoiled girl..24 ki 25 age ho...she asked me for money natra ghar ayera tamasa gardinchu bhanna thalyo...mailay abort ni garidiye ani paisa ni magyo as a compensation re...tyo ni diye....i dont even remember having sex with her ma tetti high thiye,,later found out ki even she did not know usko bf ko baccha thiyo ki mero ani sala shyal kt, testo dhani bhayera...bf sanga ni paisa magecha,,,ma sanga ni..ani usko 2nd abortion raicha tyo...stri charitra daiba na jane...testai testai life chalirako cha, i really have a nice happy life/family.. tara ma chai atti naramro bhaye.. saabb lai khusi parna khojchu, chahine bhanda dherai responsibility linchu and i am quite good at it too..tara addiction is killing me....last 8 days malai 2 din biteko jasto lageko cha..tara 8 din bitecha...i even dont know k k khaye ko ko sanga gaye, k k gare....katti lai jepayo tehi bhane... i lost my friends, brother yo 8 din ma ani i dont know the reason...mailay k k bhane hola jhagada paryo hola..i just have these txts that i dont recall typing...lost as in the sense..relationship bigyo...now i have literally no one to share my feelings with..i am empty..ani going through withdrawals;severe withdrawals....yesterday, i tried to hang myself, tara my dog saved me...khai kasari tha bhayo teslai...mero dhoka agadi ayera bhukeko bhukai garyo, scratch gareko garai garyo..ani baba mamu curious bhayera dhoka dhyan dhyang hanna thalnu bhayo khol khol bhanera...i hid the rope but could not hide my tears...they did not suspect i was literally about to hang myslef...tara they cried ani i realized ki i was doing a bad thing,...not only i was about to kill myslef ki i was about to emotionally murder my parents.......aba i dont know what to do...k garne kaso garne...kaslai bhanne.......i feel nothing..i cut different part of my leg yo sochera ki physical pain bhayo bhane mental pain jancha bhanera, tara jadaina raicha,,,...ma pagal huna atisake...so this is it.....i have nothing more to say...thank you for reading, kasailay padhyo bhane,, yetro lamo post ma padhdina thiye hola...tara kasailay padhyo bhane thank you for you time...be well...have a happy life...thank you

As a child we always think that everyone in the family loves us. Childhood is all about love and happiness. A child even thinks that any stranger who is behaving good who is playing loves us . Phir in sab main saba ne ek choti si bacchi ko yeh realise karwaya ki woh shayad unwanted thi maine achese pura dekha nahi qki mujhe woh sahi nahi lgga. Usse yeh yaad dilaya gyaa ki jo uske saath hua hai woh galat hai n shayad as a child woh n number if emotion se guzre jo hum nahi dekh paaynge bt unfortunately hum kuch nahi karskate. Her father can speak bt at the max unhe bhi paise de diye jaynge n matter khatam hojaega bt shayad meher k mind main yeh puri life rahega . Money is the driving force these days this this influencer culture is the biggest doom for the teenager . Sad reality. Saba tumhe na jannat na jehannum kahin jagah nahi milegi 🙂
P.s i did my part despite not on any social media including youtube due to upcoming exam i reported the vlog and also commented on instagram creating an ID asap. The least and the most that i can do is done by me.

It is evening time and champak goes for a walk at a nearby park and while walking there suddenly a football hits him in the back of his head after which he falls down and once again his head hits with the big rock! Champak gets unconscious and nearby people gathers and surrounds him. Co-incidentally Tapu Sena are also in the park and when they see large crowd gathering they went there and gets shocked by seeing champak laying down unconsciously! They took champak to a nearby hospital and informed gokuldham society members about it. Everyone rushes there and doctor informs them that champak is very critical because of his head colliding with rock it has lead to a serious injury and now everything is in the hands of God !! Jethalal becomes extremely emotional, A sad bgm plays in the background and he is remembering all the good and funny moments with champak (flashback scenes) and every society member is consoling him

Suddenly a nurse comes and says that champak is regaining his consciousness! Every society member rushes to see him and jethalal emotionally hugs him as well but here comes the big twist.... Champak sees everyone with a Pikachu face and asks:- "kon cho tame badha"? (Who are you all) which suprises everyone after which jetha tells him :- "bapuji me aapka jethiya" and other society members also introduce themselves. Now doctor comes and tells everyone to wait outside post which he calls everyone in his cabin and says champak is recovering now but one big issue is that champak is suffering from 'AMNESIA' (condition in which person loses memory)!! Jetha being Jetha misinterprets it to 'aam rasiya'(lover of mango)' and says :- "bapuji to bachpan se hi aam rasiya hai" with Charlie Chaplin type, smile listening this doctor is patting his head. Mehta explains what amnesia actually is after which jetha falls down and starts crying. Folding his hand he is requesting doctor to make champak normal again and this is the most emotional jetha has ever been! Doctor and society members assures him of quick recovery. Doctor says that champak current memory is when he was a child so take care of him and he will get discharged after some time. Before discharging champak, Hathi being a doctor sends tapu sena and tells them to remove all the photos of him and his father because if champak sees garland on the photo of his father, that will give him shock which is not good for his health and advises all the society members to refrain themselves from indulging in any activity that can cause stress to champak. 

Now champak is being taken to gokuldham after assuring him that Jehta is his 'Kaka' and Jayantilal (father of champak) is at jetha's house. And a blast of comedy begins here :- Champak calls everyone Kaka(uncle) and Kaki(aunty) and tapu sena as Mota Bhai(big bro). Babita and Jethalal are standing together seeing which champak asks jethalal:- "kaka aa mari kaki che"? (Is babita jethalal's wife) after which jetha instantly gives smiling expression then suddenly changes it to surprise and says sorry to babita to which babita responds saying it's okay after which jetha once again gives a shy smile. After some time champak starts crying that he wants to meet his father and somehow society members consoles him and makes him sleep in the next room. A bit emotional scene will be there where jetha says that how child be it of any age needs the love and blessings of father. Next day starts and here we see champak like a child doing 'kulla' (littering) on the society ground and irritating every gokuldham society members like he plays tabla on bhide's head and calls him 'taklo kako' (bald uncle) and then goes to hathi's house and how goli and hathi snatches food from people in the same way he snatches food from goli and hathi's plate and here we see goli and hathi running behind requesting champak to give them back their plate and here champak makes them run the whole society ground and then run away at iyer's house and here Iyer is doing some work in his laptop. Champak distracts Iyer and starts using his laptop and as champak doesn't know much about laptop he thought of it as some instrument and start playing with the keyboard. Iyer wore a lungi and champak runs away taking his lungi directly to popatlal's house and shouts "pappa pappa". Now at the same time popatlal was in call with some girl whom he connected through marriage bureau and listening to champak's screaming that girl rejects popatlal after which popatlal cuts call and gets angry on champak and says:- "chachaji ye kya kiya aapne" and here champak throws lungi on popa's face and runs away. Champak is in the compound now and in between popat calls jetha and suddenly champak went to abudl's shop and removing abdul's cap he is trying to run away from the society but luckily Abdul catches him and anyhow takes him to the society and till now everyone came to the compound. Jetha apologies but everyone says that champak is like their father so no need to apologies and bhide instructs everyone that society main gate will be closed because of champak and those who want to enter or exit should call Abdul everytime.
Jetha decides to call champak's old friend from bachau by citing current situation and old friend reaches gokuldam and society members are in champak's house only. Now old friend is trying his best to make champak remember about him but instead champak assumes that old friend as "FATHER OF SARPANCH KI BETI " and he pleads to old man to let him marry with "Sarpanch ki beti" when both grew up. Listening his society members are both shocked and they are laughing a bit as well and jethya is thinking "agar bapuji ki shaadi unki marzi se hoti to kya meri maa sarpanch ki beti hoti"!! Old friend says "Champak Chakri Thai gayo che" and runs away facing embarrassment. Now a week passes by and daily champak irritates society members through his antics and while society members everyday pray for his well-being they sometimes become playful with him as well like Mehta with champak's help throws diet food without Anjali getting to know about it and bhide influences champak to always sit between tapu and Sonu lol.
It is the same time of evening now and bhide and popatlal gets in argument regarding society matter because of which all society members gets in compound except tapu sena which are there with champak at jetha's house. But tapu being 'choti daya' and 'chapli' tells his friends to go and solve bhide popat matter and that he will make champak understand to not leave the house. Champak pretends that he won't leave house. A few minutes after tapu sena goes downside champak also goes there and slowly slowly goes towards the society board side after which he immediately rushes towards the society gate and as Abdul is also in the compound but he has kept a lock, Champak jumps the gate and go outside while running he goes to the same park and the same thing repeats like the ball hits him in back of his head post which he falls down and once again head hits with the big rock. Now he is rushed to the hospital and jetha and society members are informed about it. Champak regains consciousness and everyone asks him how is he like how people asks the child and champak suddenly asks that why is everyone talking with him like he's some child. After this doctor tells everyone that champak has regained his memory now because of this incident happening with him once again but be aware as you never know when he might go back to his child version! We see the delight in jetha and everyone's face and eventually Mehta ends it with his "shayari".
Guys please take your time out and read this arc and please do comment how's it.