90 day business plan education manager

I'm planning to replace the old Day & Night gas furnace from a 1910 home in the Bay Area. It's a 2 story home, ~2000 sqft. The furnace is in the garage (below the first floor). Duct work is old and I don't really trust it. Bedrooms are upstairs, everything else in the first floor. I'm planning to stay in this place for the next 10 to 20 years with my family, so I want something good. I used to live in places where the furnace and vents were super loud (rentals, but also in older homes), and I really would like to prevent that as much as possible.
Budget: I want to optimize for comfort and noise reduction, it's one of these few things were I'm happy to spend more for peace of mind.
Here's what I'm planning to do, please tell me how bad this plan is.

1. Change the furnace. I'm thinking of getting a good brand (Rheem? Carrier?) locally carried by pros in the area. What characteristics should I be looking for? Multistage? Variable speed? 90+ AFUE? Some type of noise insulation cover on top of the furnace? Ideally something compatible with Ecobee or Nest (looks like Carrier is not compatible with them?).
2. Get a pro to either fix or replace the ducts and vents. Remove and replace duct insulation. Is this typically done by HVAC companies or do you recommend to go with people who just do that?

I will ask these questions when I'll go shopping for quotes, but I want to make sure I do some due dilligence first. Sorry if these are stupid questions, I'm a bit lost.

i went from working as a barista pre-pandemic (the glory years when starbucks was was and only 25% of our business) to working during the pandemic with these grimy customers and being shorted money during the 2 month period when my cafe only store was closed to becoming a shift and finding out that no one else cared about making the store run efficiently to becoming a manager for 4 months then stepping down because i realized that the district manager and corporate were all just bullshit and didn’t get a damn about the partners and i wasn’t going to participate in that and back down to a shift where i went back to school and finished within a year with the goal of quitting starbucks forever. I don’t have a job lined up yet but im done and never going back. My last working day at Sbux was actually the same day as my 5 year anniversary (i’m so poetic i know) and now im “off for two weeks and on a personal leave of absence for another month after that lmao. ASK ME ANYTHING, I know things 👀

On Friday, my husband and I were celebrating our wedding anniversary. I had the day off and had been planning a nice date for us for a while. I wanted to give him full "princess" treatment, as it were. I planned the evening, told him the dress code expectations (clean but casual, taking his level of comfort into consideration), did all the driving (I got my license very late in life so he usually drives when we go out, or we Uber if we're really cutting loose) so cleaned my car inside and out, got him flowers, chocolates and a card - the whole 9. I felt happy to reciprocate the thoughtfulness he shows me.
Dinner went well and we stopped at a nearby bar we like for an after dinner drink and feather bowling. There was a band playing in the patio/stage area so it was a bit crowded, and the lanes were full, so we had one beer and watched a little hockey before deciding to head home. We left through the patio area where the band was playing. Someone had their phone out recording them, so my husband walked ahead and kinda ducked under to stay out of shot, while I stood back for just a second to figure my own exit path.
The second he was at a distance from me, a random, older, "I definitely listen to Jimmy Buffet" looking guy appears next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder saying "come here". Reminds me of the overly friendly drunks we run into at the marina, so despite the fact I hate being touched especially by strangers, I don't immediately do anything, just trying to think of some polite way to excuse myself. Before I can even form words, he says "I'm going to kiss you" and I froze, like...wtf did he just say? What is happening? Then he says "you can kiss me back", and that's when the panic attack started. Mind you this whole interaction lasted less than a commercial, maybe 15-20 seconds
I snaked out of his arm and FLED to the parking lot. The door guy had seen me running like my ass was on fire, and husband was almost to the car. I told my husband what happened and he was immediately, obviously pissed. He wanted to go back in and start something, give the dude a piece of his mind or cold clock him, whatever. I was in pure panic mode where all I want to do is run and keep running until the threat is gone, manage to convince him to get in the car and just go.
I have a panic disorder - panic attacks where I drop everything and run, leave the area, disappear. These attacks can happen randomly or be triggered by high stress/anxiety moments. Once in the grip of one, it's physically exhausting. My amygdala freaks tf out, adrenaline surges and then crashes leaving me shaky and skittish.
This event has, at least temporarily set my mental health progress back a couple of steps. Through mindfulness and managing my stressors, I'd not had a random panic attack in well over a year, and 6 months without needing meds. Saturday, the day after, I had to work. Once in my car, that hyper-vigilant "I am not safe" feeling, where my nerves are just burning and I feel like I'm going to jump out of my own skin and there's a barely contained scream just behind my diaphragm, kicked in. I just focused on getting through my shift without fucking up too much.
I've lost about 85lbs in the past few years, going from 240+lbs to 160 at 5'9". I had so much confidence in my new body, I felt cute! I was in a dress that looked good and hadn't fit well in years...and now I find I miss the invisibility that came with my bigger body. I've dealt with SA by ex-partners and friends before, and in that panic attack every non-consensual encounter bubbled to the surface of my mind and I felt a white hot hate for men. Yup, sure, not all men but somehow always a fucking man.
I don't know how to feel, and I'm in the process of finding a therapist I can afford that takes my insurance cuz all this is clearly in need of professional unpacking. I love my husband, he is a good, decent, emotionally intelligent and respectful man so I know they exist but right now I find myself distrusting every cishet male and believing the worst possible things about them. And I am angry that the actions of one idiot could ruin a night I'd put so much thought and effort into, that those actions could rip out my new-found confidence in my body and replace it with fear, even if temporarily.
I'm fucking tired boss.

Picture it : we wake up , walk our dogs to our cafe, prepare a lovely breakfast while we sip on coffee and plan activities for the day.
We then open up for business, read books when there are less customers, close shop whenever we feel like it and go have a lovely walk at sunset.
Then we either go for a dance class, pottery, painting or any other artistic couple activity, hit the gym, have a lovely dinner and then cuddle while we watch the latest true crime documentary.
And we repeat the same day for the rest of our lives 😇

Long read, sorry.
My fiance (29M) and I (26F) have been together for a total of 5 years, engaged just this year and are planning to marry next month. We're currently on a prenup "honeymoon" vacation in his home country for some pre wedding errands like the prenup shoot and buying our wedding dress and suit. For context, I have a chronic disability that hinders me from working and doing basic tasks and hes been he's been so loving and kind with me about it by doing certain tasks I can't do on my own sometimes. He's also been insisting to pay for certain necessities of mine like my meds and some groceries. I never ask him to do these things, he just initiatively does. We're both have good personal income and both have good education so despite me having the ability to pay for thibgs, he just does instead. He cooks healthy food for me and hand washes my medical grade clothes for me. He reminds me to take my meds and keeps track of my strict diet for me. Instinctly, we've just gotten used to how "babied" and cared for I am in the relationship. I of course acknowledge these things and try to do my part in being kind, appreciative, sweet and gentle with him and never allow a day where he doesn't feel loved and appreciated as a partner.
Now queue the point of dilemma - he has had anger issues in the past that have improved greatly recently until today. In the relationship, we've both acknowledged that I'm the one with higher EQ and empathy and he's knows he gets moody and may tend to allow his anger to boil over. With that, he say some quite... Unnecessary and morally unacceptable words he might not mean - and today was the worst one I heard.
So today we were in our hotel room after a nice day at the park. It started over a small but offensive comment he read in a video he watched (of a topic that I always hear about but feel negative over.), he laughed about it and told it to me, i calmly told him "I kind of don't like that. Maybe best not to share those kind of comments with me" he said "Okay I will watch by myself". To which I made the mistake of saying "Can you protect me from hearing those unnecessary negative things? I know you see them all the time and don't agree with them so I'd prefer not to hear more of those things anymore."
And then came the barrage of over defending, arguing and misunderstanding from him. Then even when we established the point of the start of the argument he proceeded to villainize me for even starting the argument and ruining the mood and then escalated to "I don't want to see you or talk to you so get out of the room and go somewhere or something" i frustratedly said said "fine, I'll just go." and then he went one to:
"GET OUT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU! IF YOU COME BACK I WILL KILL YOU!!"
I stood there staring at him in shock. I asked him "You're going to kill me?" He screamed "YES! KILL YOU! GET AWAY!" I left without a word and wandered around the streets gathering my thoughts. After about 40 mins, he tried to look for me and came to fetch me to go back to our room and we're here not speaking a word to each other.
I'm so lost as to how the love of my life could even think of saying that. I'm sitting here thinking about everything. If anything is ever still worth it after hearing that. If I can still forgive him for this because he's been so kind after all. I've heard many hurtful things from him before but that was... I don't know. He most likely didn't mean it but it's hard to convince mtself that.
I'll take any advice I can get. I want to believe that there's still something worth fighting for but I'm just lost. I still love him and but should I still marry him? Am I in the wrong?

Hello my dear friends, I am writing this as sort of a diary entry to commemorate my time on this island. I will try to keep it short but as of right now, I don't quite know where this leads lol
I came to Malta 2 weeks ago and stayed in a hostel in the outskirts of St. Julian's. The moment I arrived, I was completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff that was going on. People, also tourists everywhere. Cars clogging up the roads. The sun burning from above. It was just crazy to me, how an island this small with a quarter of the population of my hometown City Vienna, can produce 4 x times the mayhem. You would think, with that limited space, people would prefer using their bikes to travel around. Not on Malta. Please tell me how this culture around cars emerged, I am very curious.
My bed in my hostel wasn't ready so I went to explore St. Philips Hospital. Holy shit, I have never been to a more disgusting place than that. 50% of the building is burned, and 25% of the rest that remains, is filled with bodily excretions and/or trash. I have also heard some questionable stories about that place. Fetuses found in buckets after the hospital was closed? Sounds like an urban myth to me but if you can confirm that, please do.
I ended the day by going to the Seafood Grill Market. I haven't seen that restaurant mentioned anywhere in my research. But damn, if you want some good seafood, go there. It is quite expensive though but absolutely worth it.
Next day I went to Ras id-Dawwara to go hiking. First however, I went to is-Serkin to get some Pastizzi and some tea for breakfast. Wow, great fucking stuff. Also, what are these prices? 60 cents for a Pastizzo (is that the singular?) , I instantly fell in love. I trekked 12km from Dingli to Bahrija through some incredibly interesting landscapes along the cliffs. Although, it was already very dry, I didn't mind because I was here to experience what the island is like. And that is what it is like. I very much enjoyed that walk and recommend it to anyone who hasn't done it yet. On the roads there, there are markings on the ground saying something along the lines of Start - Spin - Go. Are there some sort of races happening in the backcountry?
I came back to the hostel, took a 90 minute nap and then continued my mission on Malta by going to Liquid Club to some Hardtechno event. I met some very lovely people there, explaining to me what life is like on this island. In some conversations, sitting on the curb outside, heard a lot of complaints about some very shit politics, the general lack of opportunity and the loss of the Maltese identity. The night was incredible though and I am very thankful for these people guiding me.
Coming ack from the club, I couldn't sleep a single second. After lying in bed for 4 hours almost falling asleep but then not, I decided to do something about it and went to Kemmuna. When I arrived, I was once again completely overwhelmed by the amount of tourists on this beautiful little getaway spot. This is the place, where I really came to hate the average tourist. I am in no way trying to portray myself as oh so holy but I do try to practice my tourism as minimally invasive as possible. Assimilating into the culture pretty much summarizes this practice. But that was an insane scene I witnessed. Just boatloads (hehe) of tourists being dumped there fighting for every square cm of space to get the perfect shot for Instagram. The beauty of it all is however, that if you just put in a little effort, you get away from them entirely. Which is what I did and so I could explore this island with a girl I randomly met there from the hostel. Bless her heart, without her and in my physical state (at this point, I was awake for 28 hours, excluding the nap), I would have folded at some point. I am glad, I made it though and so I went to bed after 40 hours awake.
The next day, we went to Marsaxlokk to the supposed Fish Market. I already had my absolute reservations about going there and they were all truly fulfilled But one thing after the other. This place has gone to shit due to tourism. At the same time, there is nothing there? The fish market is just some stands ripping off tourists. I think I saw two stands selling actual fish. The restaurants are catering solely to people from abroad. There is no soul there anymore. St. Peter's pool was fun. Did some tricks into the water but that was it. Tbf, I was a little bit wasted from the 2 days before. In the evening, I excitedly made my way to Gozo to spend two nights there. Having been told at the club that Gozo is, what Malta used to be like 20 years ago.
I rented an E-Mountainbike to make sure, I see most of this island, which I absolutely accomplished. But once again, one thing after the other. I stayed in Marsalforn in a hostel and made my way to Nadur to get some Ftira. This is the beauty of food in a place where there's limited capabilities to grow food yourself. That thing filled me up for the rest of the day, even though I biked 70kms. Also, I am happy to announce my favoritism of Maxokk bakery (which I had the next day) over Mekren. They are indeed just a tad bit better. Either way, I then made my way to just about every town on Gozo and all the natural sites. Absorbing the beauty and calm of the old Mediterranean Or so you would think. Because every 30 minutes, there'd be a group of clueless tourists on loud, stinky quad bikes, disrupting that serenity. That didn't discourage me however and I continued my journey.
At this point, I would like to know how you feel about tourists. Maybe you don't even notice them anymore. I really did however. But if you tell me to tone down the hate, I will certainly listen to the people mostly affected.
I finished the day by climbing on of the hills and looking over the island. Found a lot of shards and shotgun shells (they're everywhere). I hoped for a beautiful sunset but I learned, there was a lot of sand in the atmosphere so that didn't happen unfortunately. It was a very beautiful sight nonetheless.
The next day isn't that noteworthy. Met up wit a girl I met at the club and we went to White Rocks and just talked and talked. the plan was to maybe see Valletta but that we skipped. I was very happy to go home anyway.
My conclusion of this trip, also TLDR I guess also endnotes. Malta is a very interesting case study in all of its intricacies. It can be a beautiful destination if you know what to look for. It has some incredibly lovely people. I seriously did not meet a single person that was hostile. Coming there was a small culture shock. You instantly notice, there are some problems quite present on this island. Lots of Jesus and Hail Mary. I expected more trash on the ground tbf. The water is better than in other places in Europe. The traffic is absolutely unbearable and it makes absolutely 0 sense to me why it is that way. The public transport as a result is terrible as well but what can you do when people unnecessarily clog up the already narrow roads. I didn't see a single homeless person which I found curious. There are a lot of Southeast Asian migrants which I found oddly specific. Gozo really is a different world, unfortunately the better Malta. Tourists everywhere. Some very unique nature but no beaches. It is in the end just a huuuge rock.
To be honest, I don't think I will be coming back. I have seen everyhing there is to see. But I very much enjoyed my time and want to say thank you to all of you. Your home really is something worth seeing.
Peace!

I have a wide group of friends. You could say that I’m a social butterfly. Now, I graduated last year and am currently working for a year now. I’ve noticed that ever since we went our separate paths it would almost always be me to check up on those whom I consider as my closest friends, trying to set up dates to meet and hang out, or even just remotely hoping that we’d be able to meet spontaneously. However, lately I found myself getting tired of always being the one to reach out first.
One time, I had a friend whom I had prior plans with, I was excited because it was at more than a month since we last saw each other. So I got and got prepared. Now minutes before I was about to leave my hous, my friend called me saying they were feeling sick and may not be able to go, so I accepted it but still felt hurt because I was so excited for the plan to meet up. Fast forward to after a few days, I find out that they went out alone that day and I was not even informed they push through with the plan, just without me. I felt really sad knowning about this. Idk if it’s just me being too sensitive but a heads up would’ve been nice like “hey! I actually went out on my own because I was feeling better”, had they told me this I would’ve come to them in a heartbeat.
This is just one of the many incidents that happened with me and my friends. I felt so unimportant to them, like when it comes to them I give them my full support and undivided attention, but when it comes to me I feel like I’m invisible. They don’t check up on me, don’t even try to make plans with me, and I would see them on social media eating out somewhere (with the same groupd of friends) and I’d be left wondering why I didn’t get an invite. Sure, I may decline because I’m busy with work and we’re at different companies but I would greatly appreciate it if they just asked me.
I don’t know, I’m feeling disillusioned. Right now I’m giving them the cold shoulder and haven’t contacted them since 2 months ago. I guess this is a sign?
Sorry for this long ass post, it’s been heavy lately and I wanted to vent out.
Edit: the person mentioned above, I’ve been friends with them for about 8-9 years. Met in high school, and took the same course in college.

Hello,
I've been feeling tormented for the past few months. I have no one to talk to about this issue, as it involves the only two people I'm close with, so I'd really like to get an outside perspective.
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend (22m) for almost two years now. Things are going well at the moment. We've had some problems in the past, which we managed to more or less resolve through communication, including a major one: a year ago, I crossed some boundaries concerning fidelity. I was lacking a lot of affection in my relationship at the time (we were having frequent arguments due to his lack of effort), and I met a guy at a party who I found very attractive. He started flirting with me, and I let myself enjoy the attention while setting boundaries when he wanted me to be explicit about my attraction (for example, I avoided his invitations to meet up or when he asked me for a kiss). I felt very guilty afterward, cut off contact with the other guy, and told my boyfriend what had happened two or three months later. He forgave me, but now he has a lot of concerns whenever I talk to a guy, which I completely understand.
After that, our relationship was pretty calm. I stopped going out with friends as much—it was mostly just acquaintances from university—so my life revolved around my studies, my hobbies, and my boyfriend. But towards the end of 2023, a new guy joined my program at university. I was the first person to welcome him as he seemed lost. Our interactions were limited to greeting each other in class until Valentine's Day, when I was sitting alone at university, and he came over to join me. He started getting to know me, asking about my hobbies, and suggested we hang out together outside of classes. I was really happy because I missed going out with friends.
The next day, we started sitting next to each other in class, and we got to know each other better. He asked me a lot of questions about my life, my interests, the music I listen to, the books I read, etc. I was thrilled to share these things with someone since few people are interested in these topics when I try to talk about them. But what struck me the most was what he had to say—he has a fascinating world of his own, he's very elegant and romantic, and he has very refined tastes. We had a lot in common, too; we're both passionate about rock music, we both left a science prep school for university for the same reasons, and we're both highly gifted (so we share the same challenges). I started developing feelings as we talked—he's really the type of person I like. I also told him about my love life with my boyfriend, and he told me he was in a relationship too, so I didn't think it was mutual at the time. (Another detail: our respective partners know each other and were friends in high school, which was a funny coincidence for us. Both are studying abroad, so we're in long-distance relationships.)
However, I was very surprised when he asked for my Instagram account that day. He handed me his phone to look up my account, and I saw that his search history was filled with accounts with my name (there must have been about twenty). I didn't say anything but started to wonder if he liked me. I told my boyfriend about this encounter with the guy (omitting the fact that I liked him because I had no intention of crossing any boundaries this time—I wanted to keep it to a friendship, hoping my feelings would fade over time). My boyfriend immediately concluded that the guy was interested in me based on his Instagram searches, the fact that he suggested hanging out together during our first conversation, all his questions about my interests, etc. So, he's very wary of this guy. He said he would tell the guy's girlfriend if he found out he was cheating with me.
For my part, I wanted to check if he was really interested in me or not because I didn't want to ruin a potentially great friendship based on possibly false assumptions. This guy and I have grown very close. We often eat together, go out just the two of us outside of classes, help each other with homework and studying, share a lot about our lives, and do sports together. He's very attentive to me (for example, once I told him I liked a certain kind of compote, and the following days, he started bringing two of them—one for him and one for me; he buys me drinks before meeting up with me; once we went out at 5:30 PM, my mom was supposed to pick me up but had an emergency and he waited with me until 8:30 PM; he gave me a flower made out of origami). I found his behavior quite ambiguous because usually, only guys who are interested in me treat me this way, but he seems genuinely happy for me whenever I talk about my love life with my boyfriend, unlike other guys. Also, he only has close female friends, so I don't know how to interpret his actions.
Recently, I met one of his best friends for the first time when we ran into each other at the university cafeteria. The three of us ate together. When I introduced myself to his friend with my name, she immediately said, "Oh, so you're THE [my name]," which threw me off. I asked her what she meant by "THE [my name]," and the guy jokingly said, "Do you think we talk bad about you?" I played along, saying yes. The girl laughed and said, "Oh, don't worry, he just told me you have a boyfriend studying in [name of city]." I found it strange that they talked about that, as I didn't know this girl at all, and I looked at my friend who seemed quite embarrassed. At one point, I was alone with her, and she said, "[Guy's name] told me you deleted Instagram! Why?" (I was taking a break from social media to focus on my exams, so the guy couldn't message me for a while, which I hadn't thought about—it created some distance between us for a week). I told my boyfriend all this, and it made him very concerned.
In short, my situation is complicated. I really wanted everything to remain purely friendly with this guy because I have real future plans with my boyfriend and I love him sincerely. But when I'm around this other guy, I can't shake off this attraction, and it's becoming quite frustrating because I'm used to being quite assertive and moving things forward quickly when I like a guy, but now I'm holding back despite my desires. Also, my friendship with him really bothers my boyfriend, who thinks the guy has bad intentions and has many concerns about me due to my past actions. But at the same time, I really enjoy this guy's company—I've never had such a pleasant friendship, so I don't want to lose it. I don't know if I should be as wary of him as my boyfriend is. Usually, the guys who like me are much more explicit about it. To my boyfriend, it's obvious that he's interested in me, but personally, I don't know. I'm lost.

Anyone else have a busy job that makes it so hard to prioritize your health?
I’ve had a difficult pregnancy that started with A LOT of nausea and vomiting. Once that started getting better , I immediately got diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I’ve been transparent with managers about my difficulties, but it gets me nothing more than fake empathy and a steadily increasing workload.
I work in healthcare (ironically, I specialize in diabetes management), so my job is physically and emotionally draining. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t realize 3 other women in my department were also expecting at various times before me. Being last in this string of pregnancies is the worst because I’m expected to cover for all of them (there’s plenty of non-pregnant people in this department too so I do not understand why only my workload had to increase so drastically).
Thanks to my background, I’m doing a good job managing my insulin regimen/readings, but it is still a lot of work. I feel like on a daily basis I’m having to choose between my health or a patient’s health. For example, on Friday I had a nutritionist appointment scheduled and I blocked off time on my schedule for it (using my PTO 🙄). The patient I was supposed to see right before my own appointment showed up VERY late and begged to be seen. Seeing her would make me VERY late for my own appointment, which just didn’t feel fair.
She eventually agreed to reschedule after I spoke with her and I made it to my appointment, but moments like this happen SO often and I find myself sacrificing a few minutes when I could eat a snack to fit in that late patient or address that last minute emergency. The previous Friday, I had 2 episodes of hypoglycemia when I didn’t have any time to eat a snack because I was too busy putting out fires.
I’m so frustrated and crying on a weekly basis now. I love my patients and I want to do right by them, but it’s impossible to do that and do right by myself too.
TLDR: I found out I was pregnant and my workload immediately increased. My pregnancy hasn’t been easy and some days it feels impossible to put my health first due to work demands.

how much is everyone making? My office is only open 4 days a week.. however, those days are 8-10 hour days. Although this schedule seems perfect, the assistants do multiple jobs. It is a smaller local business, so i understand the assistants doing all the work. However, we should get compensated for it. The ortho assistants work the lab, sterilization, and the clinic. I personally step in and work the front desk when needed. I pretty much can do everything in the entire office besides office managing & insurance. To put this in perspective, I have been there for 5 years and have to work a second job to afford to live. The cost of living has risen so much and my pay hasn’t. I have received raises but they aren’t significant in comparison to the cost of living. I feel like $25-$30 would be just enough to quit my second job, however i’m not making that. I am getting so burnt out between 2 jobs and the fact that we can’t keep a staff. There has been 3 solid assistants including myself for the past 5-7 years. We need at least 5. Everytime we have hired an additional assistant they stay for a few months or about a year and then leave. We are getting busier every year and the patient flow is becoming heavy. I don’t have many breaks & when i do get a break im working the other part of the office (lab/sterilization). I feel as i’m getting underpaid, and im at a crossroad.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now, and I am quite happy in our relationship. However, there are certain things that she does, which to be fair are quite major to me, that I would like to discuss with her. Though, every time I mention something that she's done that has upset me, she gets really defensive, and it turns into an argument, and our arguments always end up the same way. Either I do something to upset her and she locks herself away and refuses to talk to me for 3 days, or I tell her that something she has done has upset me and she gets defensive and tells me that I am either wrong or an asshole and then shuts me out for around 3 days. There was one rare occasion when she made a joke that was in poor taste without realising it, I told her it upset me but had forgiven her like 5 minutes later and she then shut me out for a day out of shame. I didn't tell her to make her feel bad or anything. I just told her that the specific topic was not something I was ready to joke about just yet. This whole dynamic has made me terrified to criticise her in any way, but it is starting to get to the point where I feel as if she might unknowingly be taking advantage of it.
The things I want to bring up are:

1. She pretends to have forgotten about making plans that she has made with me so that she can do other things. This has happened on 3 separate occasions and it is blaringly obvious when she does it because she is a terrible liar. For example, she recently suggested that we go out for a drink, just the two of us (which has happened once in the past 9 months) to celebrate finishing the university year, because our exams finish on the same day. When she then told me that she'd made plans to go with her course mates I asked her if she'd forgotten and she claimed to not even remember mentioning going out together.
   
2. Keeping double standards when it comes to sharing things. I suffer from a multitude of mental health issues, and suicidal thoughts as well as self harm are somethings I struggle with. (I was mentally and physically abused by my mother who died last year which has given me some real difficult emotions to deal with). Because of this, she expects me to tell her EVERYTHING. Infact, she will shut me out for days if I told her that I hurt myself an hour after I did it rather than straight away. But will not mention a thing to me until about a month after it happened, or when it benefits her in an argument to drop it on me. It isn't even just about mental health stuff. She will look over my shoulder at whoever I am messaging (I literally only message 3 friends and my dad), expects to know everything I am doing when I am at university, shopping or just out for whatever reason during the day and will just generally want to know everything. When I ask how her day was and what she got up to I am greeted with a "It was ok, I didn't really do much", even if she has been out all day. She'll later tell a story from her day that I'd argue isn't "nothing much", usually when we're sat with a group of people, and she will tell the story mainly to the other people there, blatantly not looking at me. The double standards don't end at sharing things. She has told that that she has danced with "gay" men at clubs when I am not there (she told me that they were definitely gay but couldn't tell me how she knew that), messages her guy friends when she's upset before she even messages me, gets sent and watches thirst traps of guys when I am sat right next to her with her friend, and yet I mention that there is a girl in my assigned group work and she gets visibly uncomfortable and will go cold to me. She also, being the one who ignores me for days at a time, won't let me take an hour to myself when I am upset. Usually I will want to speak to her when I am upset about something, but a couple of days ago, she'd got upset about something I had said before an exam (I had agreed with her about something she had said while I was half listening while I was revising after she insisted she sat in my room to keep me company) and I wasn't meant to agree with her? I'm not even clear on what it was about because I was desperately trying to cram for an exam that I was stressed about passing. I went to the exam with her ignoring me because I had upset her. I apologised, ditched my revision for the last hour to try and make things right, but she'd locked herself away, and was seemingly fine as soon as I turned my phone off to go into the exam hall. I couldn't focus on my exam because I thought she was distraught. I whole heartedly believe that if I have failed that exam, it was because of that because I just couldn't focus on my longer mark questions. When I got back, I didn't particularly want to speak to her, because it wasn't the first time that she'd been angry at me before something big and was acting like it never happened after she had fucked me over for it. But, she was insistent that I talk to her and that I go sit with her and her friend because "her friends exam went badly too". She had told her friend about my exam to comfort her without consulting me.
   
3. Ignoring me. If we sit in a group, I will be the person she talks to least. If I am speaking to her and someone else starts talking, she will blank me and talk to the other person. She has answered phone calls and left mid sentence with the "No, I am not busy, we can talk" when I have been opening up to her about something. She will put in the effort to respond to all of her friends messages, tiktoks and whatever else they send her as soon as she can. I went 3 months without her evening opening my tiktoks, she left me on seen on instagram for about a week and leaves me on delivered for an average of about 2 hours at a time, all while acting like nothing is wrong in person. I brought it up to her when she was doing it and she told me that I just send her so much, it stresses her out... I send her 10% the amount of things that her friend sends her. I now figured it is easier to just not send her anything unless it's absolutely perfect. I annoys me that I can't even share a funny dog video that she used to say she loved receiving to her.
   

I know that it is my fault that she feels that she can do these things, and it is my fault that I haven't said anything. But I just can't have a constructive conversation with her about when she has upset me without it devolving into the silent treatment, which I cannot handle. I just want to be able to tell her these things and repair them before it becomes too much and I am forced to just walk away.
I am really sorry that this post is so long. I don't really have anyone to talk this stuff over with, so it all just sort of came out. She isn't a bad person, I think I have just emboldened her into thinking that this behaviour is acceptable by my lack of backbone.
TL;DR: I want to tell my girlfriend that she is upsetting me with a few behaviours, but every time I criticise her she shuts me out and I end up apologising, or she pretends nothing ever happened and goes on as before.

Okay so I have been in a relationship with my bf 22M for about 8 months. Overall he is a “good guy” he takes me on dates, buys me flowers, is pretty good at trying to support me and my ventures in life. He works two jobs one is pretty decent making like 25/hr but no room for growth, and the other is only two days a week at 15/hr. He has some credit cart debt which is down to 8k, finding out he had 10k a few months back was a big shocker to me. As for me i’m in nursing school, only one more year until I graduate, I work about 30hrs a week as a caregiver rn and do nails on the side which i make pretty good money with fortunately. When i graduate my jobs will be looking to pay about 40+ an hr (in my area). I also have a paralegal degree which I obtained in hs and plan to go back to law school in the future, hopefully with a good scholarship like the one I have now. My concern is he doesn’t seem to have much drive/ambition for more. He will bring up a business idea or two here or there or has now mentioned real estate but i dont think he is very serious about it.
We are already semi long distance, about 5 hrs and he does a good job at coming to see me. Im just not sure if this is someone I can build with. I dont want to have to constantly worry about him and his finances and his ability to support a family in the future. He is already a couple years older than me but I seem to be getting further than he is. I also dont want to be long distance much longer but his finances need to get in order before he would be able to move, and he needs to find a good job which is hard without credentials since he got lucky to get the jobs he is at. What do you all make of this situation? Am i too hard on him?

I want to make a group chat of Like minded and Highly motivated young entrepreneurs. I’m 23. I dropped out of college because it wasn’t for me and I’m no expert to say the least. Some days I had only $1 to my name and others I’ve had over $100k. I’ve experienced a lot, tried a lot, I’ve succeeded at a lot and failed at even more.
I want to share what I’ve learned in my journey and learn from what others have in their Journey. This group is to network and educate on topics like, Business, Credit, Business Funding, Side Hustles and more.
Posted Group in comments.

Long story as short as possible! Wife (37f) and I (30f) have a 20 month old. My BIL has three kids (8m, 6f, and 4f). My MIL helps us and watches our LO one day every two weeks so we can get business things taken care of. My MIL and FIL babysit my nieces and nephew three nights a week, and overnight frequently on weekends. We often all get together for dinner on weekends at my in laws.
Our nieces and nephew are very active, loud; and quite demanding. BIL and SIL check out completely when they get to my in laws, and essentially we and my in laws end up watching their kids all night while they swim, drink, whatever. Essentially; they and their kids take over every get together we have. It’s an exhausting experience for everyone, including our LO who gets overwhelmed by them at times. The 4yo also is not a fan of LO, and has been baby talking, stealing her toys, etc for months now. We constantly are redirecting her while her parents do not say anything. She has also been pinching neighborhood kids and these concerns have been brought to my SIL. My in laws are always focused on them, because they demand their attention. They will yell, scream; etc if my in laws are not paying attention to them; and my in laws cave every single time.
Our LO had a rough start the life with a NICU stay, allergies, colic, you name it. Things did not really calm down until the past six months.
We tried to plan a one night getaway this time last year, with the understanding that LO would be the only one my in laws were watching. Last minute (day before our trip), my in laws dropped on us that they will be also watching nieces and nephew for the day. We reiterated our concerns, and they said they did not agree. We took LO on our trip with us; and moved on from it.
MIL had been encouraging us to take a trip away together as we haven’t been away since our LO was born. We planned three months in advance to go away for the weekend. Confirmed multiple times they had no plans and would be able to babysit, to which they let us know just last week that SIL was actually planning a pool party at their home on Sunday. We were a little frustrated but we understand we don’t own their house or their time.
We said no worries and that we would just leave early Sunday morning to make sure we were back before guests arrived and the pool was opened as we weren’t comfortable with LO at their house with people especially multiple kids coming in and out through the back door. They do not have a pool fence, and the pool is in-ground located through their sliding door. LO is able to open these doors on her own. Our LO is not a sit down kind of kid. She is always moving, incredibly nosy, and loves the pool. They said no problem and closed the safety pool cover before we left to reassure us we had nothing to worry about.
Flash forward to Saturday on our trip. I’m scrolling on Facebook before heading to dinner. My SIL had posted a picture of her three kids, and some other kids we did not know, and SIL at our in laws pool. My wife called her parents and asked them if the pool party was moved and if so why they didn’t tell us? MIL and FIL were instantly defensive saying LO didn’t even know people were swimming and they kept her inside. MIL said she did not know they needed permission for people to swim at their house and that they just had friends over and it wasn’t the pool party that is tomorrow. I did not see this photo until 6 hours after it was posted, so when I did everyone was gone.
Are we wrong to be pissed at this? I’m so frustrated. I feel like they just genuinely don’t care what we have to say; and that my nieces and nephew will always take priority of our LO. Why couldn’t my MIL just say that Saturday didn’t work and to come tomorrow to my SIL?
We came home first thing Sunday morning and picked up LO in a brief exchange. Nothing was talked about as we still are not sure how to feel. MIL has sent a passive aggressive text since but we have not replied.
If you read that whole thing please tell me your thoughts, I appreciate it more than you know. I do not have any family outside of my in laws so no one to really go to for advice or insight.

Hello dosto , . Me Dehradun Uttarakhand se hu lekin life me kahi nahi hu ...
Saalo beet gye par me wahi hu jaha tha mere kai dost kuch na kuch kar rahe hai magar ab unse me khud baat nahi karta shayad sharam aati h mujhe ...
Bachpan se mera koi goal nahi tha jo dusre bache kehte wo bthaadeta ki muje b yahi banna hai taaki teacher ko kuch bolkar seat pr beth jaau ...
. Lekin 12 th aane tak mere andar mimicry aur acting ka bhoot aaya 11 se 12 tak me sochta tha MR.FAREWELL banunga aur ban b gya 12 th me hahaha. Maza aaya tha.. mene 12 th k baad papa se kaha ki muje actor banna hai tab wo Mumbai me hi rehte the hotel me kaam krte the .. .
Unhone kaha ki pagal mat bann kuch padhle aage laakho log ese hi pade h idhar..meri sabse badi galti hui ki mene socha to MASS COMMUNICATION tha but then i ended up choosing BSC. AGRICULTURE jisme mera interest nahi tha lekin chalagya qki dost mere school ke jaare the mene socha me akela na pad jaau .. .
And that was the day jaha se sab kuch badalne wala tha ...college me bhi mene mimicry karke sabko hasaya mujhe apne aap ko stage pr perform krna pasnd tha ki log muje dekhenge aur taaliya bajayenge sab sochte ki Intro me kya kahenge aur mera fix tha sabko hasana hi to hai ... .
Years passed aur me college jaata raha ghar aata raha kuch nahi socha bss jesa chalra tha chal ra tha kabhi khud se koi extra efforts nahi daale kuch efforts nahi kiye qki shaayd mera interest tha hi nahi agriculture me ...Ek time tha jab mujme bohat confidence tha i felt special about myself me sochta tha ki talent hai mujme qki sab kehte bhi the ....college me anchoring krna aawaze nikalna actors ki it was all fun
. I had my youtube channel usme b mere 16k subscribers the in 2019 aaj bhi hai sabhi dost kehte h me paagal hu par jese jese me bada hua 18 saal se college gaya tha changes aaye mene videos ye sochkar daalna chorda kyuki muje khud lagne laga me bachkani harkat krrha hu ...
par me galat tha par sab kehte banaya kar mera interest usme b kam hone laga kyuki kuch dost college life me kehte GF tabhi banti h jab tum serious rehte ho aur me itna bada chutiya socha ki me ye mimicry wali harkat chordunga serious rahunga to Gf bnaegi par mene wo b kabhi nahi kia ...qki wo meri personality hi nahi thi ...GF bhi nahi bani aajtak 10th me thi ek usne b 2 hafte me bola ki it's not working haha bachpana
. 2022 me i graduated uske baad internship kuch hoti h uska pta chala agriculture field me kya kaam hota h so called HYDROPONICS ki internship ki but dhire dhire pta chala agriculture me private jobs me field work hai aur tagda field work hai din bhar dhoop ka kaam hai
aur salary 10-12k ...mene nahi kia job 15 din me company chord di aur ghar aagya mene mummy papa se kaha me private nahi kr skta ..qki agriculture private sector me u are treated as labour aur jo ki sach hai aur environment bhi aisa hi rehta h aapko majdooro k beech uthna bethna khana sab krna hota hai ...
. Par meri expectations esi nahi thi me darr gya muje kuch pasnd nahi aaya me ghar aaya aur mene kaha me government exams k liye padhunga ...
Aur gharwale b khush huye chalo kuch to socha ...but after one month mere mummy papa ki death hogyi me kayi mahino k liye kuch krne laayak nahi raha i was in trauma ki ab kya karu ..
...sab kuch achanak se badalgya from last year September me aaj tak mummy k sath tha.. papa 2020 se hi aaye the humare sath yaha humara restaurant tha lockdown me khola tha everything was good ....
. College time me bhi i never stayed outside of my state humesha ghar pr raha maa k aanchal me bahar ki duniya nahi dekhi mene ache se ...aur ab lagta hai me kuch nahi hu i am nobody aur ye bhi sochta hu kisike liye kya hi karunga jiske liye karna tha wo to ab hai nahi ....but i have a sister aur Lic aur baaki paiso se uski college ki fees jaati hai par me isolated rehta hu ....uska to hojayega kuch na kuch wo brilliant hai
. Ab mere saare sapne tuttgye kabhi sochta hu haath pair katjaate mere to sarkari naukri lag jaati disability kote me...jo meri mummy ko sapne dikhaata tha bade bade me tv pr aaunga ye wo mummy kehti mera dil kehta h ayega par ab lagta hai kahi kuch naukri miljaye to karlu ...par mera mann nahi krta kuch karne ka ...
. Der se uthta hu consistency nahi h mujhme har 15-20 din 1-2 mahine baad mera kuch aur karne ka mann krta hai kabhi padhta hu kabhi OLA chalata hu form bhare the CPO ke exam hai June last me din raat padta tha me april tak fir chord dia qki postponed hua exam to me relax hogya ab aajkal sochra hu business karu ...par 40-50000 me business b nahi ho skta ....
. Aaj security guard aur kuch ese dhundra tha job...actor banne ka khwab tha lekin reel bannane ki b aukaat nahi rahi ab kuch nhi muje pta nahi konsi chiz rokti h me sochta hu log mujhe judge karenge ki ye to chutiya hai me kuch nhi krta aajkal k iss daur me jaha sab Ai ka use krrhe h kuch kr rahe h kama rahe h aur me bss consumer bankr rehgya hu..... .
Agriculture field mujhe pasnd nahi aur ab futti kodi nahi mere pass ki kuch aur course karu ya kahi aur jaau .....ek langda aadmi bhi haath se cycle chalaakar gutka kurkure bechta h me uss laayak b nahi hu ..mazdoor b din me dhyaadi to karta h .... .
Itna bhi mat padho ki chote kaam krne me sharam aaye aur muje kisi dost se help b nahi maangni hai ...infact me ab apne best friend ka b phone nahi uthata jo 9th se lekar college tak mere sath tha aur usine meri reference b dilaai thi company me ...me apne unsuccessful hone ka ticket b uspar faadra hu ..qki usike piche mene ye course kia ..
. Par kamaane wala to 10-12 fail b crorepati hote h ..mere me hi kaabiliyat nhi hai me kisi kabil nahi hu bss bol sakta hu I AM A LOSER .....I AM A LOSER .....
Mere goals nahi h ab saare dost kuch na kuch krrhe h aur me bss calculator me khyaali nunbers daalke calculate karta hu ki itna hoga paisa to per year kitna hoga 10 saal me kitna hoga ..but present me account me 40-50000 pade h wo bhi mummy ke account me the whi hai mene to aajtak OLA chalakar 5000-6000 hi kamaye honge ....aur haa uss company se b 6600 mila tha jaha me 15 din me bhaag gya tha....
. Na computer chalana aata mujhe dhang se i am lost unsuccessful and a nobody .... Haridwar pass hi h idhar se 80km kuch nahi hua to whi ashram me chala jaunga ...
. Par me to ab bhagwan ke aage na haath jodta na kuch athiest hogya hu kya hi hua wo sab krke bhi mummy b to karti thi fir kyu nahi bachaya ...
. Shaayd mummy papa se dekha nahi jata mera aane wale kal ka ye berozgaar aur nithalapan to bhagwan ne socha ki isko chord do akela aap log ajao ...
. Ye bhi me bass likhra hu likhe jaara hu kyuki samjh nahi aara mujhe kya hai aage ka plan kya karu kya nahi darr bhi lagta h ki kya me esa hi rahunga 23 ka hogya hu par jab dekhta hu koi 27-28 ka hai aur wo b kuch nhi krrha hai to dil me sochta hu arey ye to 27-30 ka h fir b kuch nhi kar ra me to 23 ka hi hu but me b wo age me jaara hu....kabhi ye nahi sochta 19-20 saal ke bhi to laakho crore chaap rahe hai
... No expectations no action no result only regret