I'm a Law student, first yeae, 19yr old. Fuck you all if you kid with my age because, heres the deal: every person tells me I'm from the wrong time. They call me smart, with nice cultural knowledge and all that shit.
1st TL:DR: People think I'm very smart as a 19yr old law student.
But then, you have the normal me. I'm a law student, but I dont go fuck around with a tie and a suit: my life is normal. Im that type of guy with a beanie, smoking weed, drinking nights out. Thats me. Its the person I grew as, and it changed my whole life to best.
2nd TL:DR: OP has a second life, that is pretty more casual, contrary to the stereotype of a lawyer.
Now, during all this, my personal life goes as follows: - Have a relationship, has been so since (to be in 11 days), 8 months. Has been the strongest, happiest, longlasting relationships with the others I had. - OP is somewhat confused in his inner self because with these 2 opposite lifestyles, they conflict and create some shit. - OP is writing this as a complete vent, as I am high as fuck and I needed somewhere to do it. - On this note, yeah I keep shit to myself. Cant tell a word to my family as what happens home, stays home. My social life, outside.
3 TL:DR: Im high
Now, the real deal. This is a big issue because I am in a relationship. I see women and some I look at them and be like "shit, am I tripping or what". These can all be sort of women. In like a social way, what fashions me is the same as I like: politics, knowledge. All this while smoking a cigarette, drinking beer. But then on a physical way, Im stunned every time I see a girl with 2nd hand clothes (same as me), with glasses, long hair. Imagine a hippie, but not deep hippie.
And now, sexually: FUCK. Im dominant. When shit rolls, it rolls. And I like being agressive, having a fight back. I think in that way I have a very greek way of seeing things... carnal(?)
I wonder if theres a girl with all those things. Whn I see one, I go haywire. Im afraid that can happen during a relationship.
AM I THE ASSHOLE?

I'm interested in installing a 25w GMRS radio and dashcam in a 2000 Ford Excursion (V10).
I was initially planning on doing a pigtail fuse tap in the "not used" slots in the fuse box under the dash to power a dual 12v cigarette lighter type plug. Both the radio and the dashcam are designed to plug into those 12v cigarette lighter outlets, and I would like to be able to move the radio occasionally.
I am finding that when I test voltage on the tap, ALL of "not used" fuse slots show no voltage. For the sake of trying everything, I attempted all possible configurations of setting up the tap, and got no voltage. To verify that the tap works, I ran it in several used fuse locations and got 12v.
Here are my questions: 1) Does this vehicle just not have power to the "not used" fuse locations? 2) What is the recommended way of doing this wiring while still using the 12v plugs?

I have been working on this costume but don’t know if I’m going to be able to pull it off ! Kinda insecure , there is a contest . I probably won’t win but it’ll be fun . You guys are coming over before we head out . You’ve never been to my apartment before . I always feel so awkward when I’m around you and him at the same time . It’s like if it is just me and him ? We are cool. I’m interested . It’s fine . When you come around I have this never ending pull to talk to you , vibe with you , joke with you . I know we are like .. acquaintances- but I can see him drill holes into me with his eyes if I even say hi to you . I kinda hate it . I kinda hate that I can’t have any friends that are male with him . I can’t answer my phone if an ex who REALLY needs me calls. I know I shouldn’t answer , and I know he doesn’t want me to . But , well .. would you let someone you once loved die ? I don’t think you would. When I say “he said he’s going to kill himself,” Stefan said “let him ,” and that’s when I knew he was just pretending to be a good person . We are together I guess but I never wanted to be and when I try to tell people that they are like “aww y’all are so cute” it’s like no one is listening to me and for some reason I feel like I could talk to you about it … but he’s YOUR friend . I’m assuming it’s a “bros before hoes” type of thing so I can’t even get friendly with you . Why do I feel comfortable around you and no one else right now ? I mean you make me nervous because … well idk why. No one else does . In fact most people piss me off except my wifey. Tonight was interesting .. when you guys got here , your costume had me CRACKING UP. The wig , priceless. I love it . We were pre gaming as per usual and I was feeling pretty good . He was being touchy feely and I didn’t really want to be touched . You were talking about meeting your girlfriend there and how she had a robe custom made for her couples costume with you . Cute . I didn’t even think to do a couples costume . One day I hope I get to do cute stuff like that with someone . I told you that your girlfriend was absolutely gorgeous… what every man wanted . He was mad … you were intrigued … “how do you know what every man wants ?” And I had to think seriously . I have never in my life said this to others … but you… bring out the truth, the honesty , the authenticity in me. I looked you dead in your eyes and told you that I was bi sexual … oh my god what the fuck … and I also told you that sometimes I take on a masculine energy because I’m dominant and I’m a leader . I am the dominant one with him . But I could see myself submitting to you . I trust your judgement , you’re always a gentleman . He was shitty for the rest of the night , you spent your time with her as you should . I wish I wasn’t a little jealous that y’all are so cute or that she seems like she is perfect . No one is perfect , but she seems like the sun shines out of her asshole or something . As always , I wait for when she has to leave to hang out with you . You said “va va voom” when you looked at my costume . It triggered me a bit because of a comment put on my Facebook . Are we Facebook friends ? The comment isn’t anything to worry about at all . In fact , even though he doesn’t like it , there isn’t really anything to worry about there . It is a personal choice I have made to help someone . They are helping me too .. kinda to decide what i want . And without saying much about it or admitting to anything , sometimes what is said is directly from my mouth . That sounds batshit but role playas gotta play . Sometimes I just don’t know how to have an “out ,” in a relationship and he helps me with that . He is on the back burner , standby to give me an out with Stefan . Not because of you or my weird weird thing I have with writing to you in a journal that you’ll never see .. because Stefan has some kind of bi polar personality . Been there , done that . He lies , he says sweet nothings and then doesn’t act the part . He literally can talk the talk but not walk the walk. I don’t have fun with him . And no I’m not using him , I do like him and there are definitely moments where I’m like WOW, he’s amazing and so nice . And then there are moments where I believe I know you, someone who barely speaks to me unless we are drunk sharing a cigarette at a bar , better than someone who I sleep with . I’m confused . So , I’m making you my human diary . You won’t ever know that you’re my human diary (or will you ?) but it’s nice to just address someone when I write . Sorry you’re the unlucky one who fits the bid. Wish I could actually talk to you like this . My wifey stole the show in her costume . Damien said that I “should have won,” right in front of him which REALLY hurt her . I didn’t want to deny the compliment but I love her and she killed it in that Harley Quinn costume . You agreed that I should have won on pure originality . The politics major feminist being “Auntie Sam,” a play on Uncle Sam . I put the outfit together myself instead of buying the costume . I thought it was kinda ghetto and I was too nervous to even enter . Placing in the contest at all was kinda cool and her and I used the money to buy everyone drinks . It was amazing . I went a little too hard tonight though … I remember playing pool with you . You insisted . I didn’t want to , I told you I wasn’t good . But when I played I was actually pretty good and you asked me “who told you that you weren’t good “ another trigger . My ex used to make me play sports and be on his team. He yelled at me every time I messed up . He made me hate all sports entirely and not ever want to join . You didn’t yell at me when I scratched . You corrected my stance and calmly helped me . It is now that I realize how much abuse I have really taken . Physical was nothing compared to emotional or mental … you’re just so nice … to everyone . You never get upset or angry . Maybe that’s why I admire you. Happy Halloween , Stallone

I've been seeing a lot of comments in this Subreddit about teachers being drastically underpaid by online teaching platforms (like Engoo) or frustrated with the large commission fees you pay to places like Italki.
Going private is the only way to earn really good money teaching English online. In the height of my online private teaching phase, I was averaging 50$/hour teaching (around 6K USD/mo) with approx. 35 requests for my lessons/month due to the demand I built for them with social media.
I later built that into additional income streams from digital language products and a social media following of over 1 million Youtube subscribers to service lower-income students that wouldn't be able to afford my 1:1 lessons.

Notes

1. >> You can watch a more in-depth video explanation of this process on my YT channel here. (Note: This is a new channel and obviously not the same one I built to over 1 million subs. That channel is in Russian so if you happen to speak that, I can share the link with you).
2. Note to mods: I did check for rules and message you asking whether it's alright for me to link to my Youtube video on this topic but didn't hear back from you. So please message me requesting to remove the video link first before banning the post if that's against the rules.
3. This is an understandably short explanation/post that that can't possibly cover every possible scenario/'what about' type comments and questions. If you have questions, please comment them below and I'll answer them.
4. I understand you might have conflicting opinions or a different approach to going private. I accept that. What I'm sharing is just what's worked extremely well for me and over a hundred teachers now I've helped start or switch into private teaching successfully.

What I'm Covering

I’m going to run you through your first steps to get set up and get your first few students so you can finally quit those online teaching platforms and offline language schools, teach privately 100% online, on your schedule and terms, from anywhere in the world.
The video covers more topics but in this post I'll be covering the essentials:

1. How to correctly price your lessons to maximize your income
2. How to set up a simple booking system to automate getting booked and paid
3. How to market yourself and get your first five students

Step 1 - Pricing Your Lessons

This is super simple. Don't overthink it.
a) Go on sites like Italki and Preply and see what other teachers who teach the same thing as you are charging per hour.
b) Get a range from a new, inexperienced teacher up to a super experienced one.
c) I just ran this experiment for my Albanian friend who I helped switch from working for a cigarette company in Poland to teaching Albanian online. In the Youtube video I show you what I do here, but ultimately I worked out the range to be $15-30/hour (on Italki) for new to experienced.
d) Then figure out where you sit on that scale based on your own experience. If you’re brand new, charge on the lower end of that scale. If you’re an experienced teacher getting into private teaching, then start out charging a little less again and build your way up until you’ve built up that demand for your lessons.

Step 2 - Set Up Your Booking System

You need to set up a simple booking system because you ultimately need to do 3 things:

1. Display your lessons, pricing, and availability (in your student's local timezone)
2. Make it easy for students to schedule (and reschedule) lessons WITHOUT back-and-forth communication like “Does 4pm on Saturday work for you?”
3. Get paid without clunky bank transfers or chasing down payments

No PhD in tech or design required here. I'm going to keep this simple and free for you to set up:
a) Create a free account on Cal.com. It’s one of the very few scheduling/booking tools that’ll let you charge for bookings and accept payments on their free tier. With Cal.com you can provide a super easy experience for students to book and pay for your lessons, including showing your available teaching time slots to them in their local timezone.
b) Set up your payment processor: Just create free Paypal and Stripe accounts and connect them to Cal.com. Students can then purchase your lessons like they’d buy anything else online with a credit card.
Easy-peezy.
That will be enough to get a simple booking system set up and get you started. At this point, don’t overcomplicate it more than that.

Step 3 - Get Your Own Private Students!

Now that you’ve got a simple booking system setup, it’s time to find students and get booked.
Sidenote: I don’t recommend signing up to platforms like Italki, Cambly, Preply, Engoo, etc because:

• You lose out on income due to commissions
• You get paid less to begin with because you have to build up a reputation before you can start earning a lot more
• Even when you are earning a lot more, you’re still just a small fish being shown amongst a sea of other teachers - very hard to stand out
• Some platforms like Super Prof require you to pay to post your advert

Instead, I recommend leveraging social media groups like Facebook groups (my favorite), Slack channels, Subreddits, Discord channels, podcasts (that allow commenting). Just Google these. They're easy to find.

1. Build list: Build a list of 5-7 of these groups that will allow you to post in them
2. Answer questions: Students are asking tons of questions in these groups. Plan to answer 2-3 of them per day with good replies that provide value and are not salesy.
3. Publish value posts: providing legitimate free value in the group. You can come up with these by simply looking at what questions people are asking in the community and then making your own detailed post addressing those questions, or just make posts about whatever questions you see students asking a lot in real life in your lessons. I recommend posting 3 of those per week across all of the groups.

Don’t promote your lessons (as it's not allowed in most groups) but do mention you’re a teacher. Your answers will get noticed and typically within 1-2 weeks students will begin reaching out to you enquiring about your lessons.
Once they reach out to you privately, then you can share your Cal.com booking page link and offer them a trial lesson.

Next Steps:

It goes without saying that there are a million little caveats, nuances, scenarios, and "what ifs" that I simply can't cover all in one post. So, if you have any questions, please post them below. I'm happy to help!
If you're interested in more explanation around this process and additional topics that I cover like how/when to raise your prices and why you shouldn't offer free-trial lessons, then check out the full video I posted on this topic:

You can find it here.

Hope this was helpful!
J,

BACKSTORY
I started smoking 20 years ago, and as it is the case with probably most of you, my reason was stupid and naive. Hated it the first time, but kept doing it to look cool and to impress my friends and some girls. Soon after I really started smoking hard and I really wanted to keep smoking as much as possible.
During the last 20 years my average was around 25 cigarettes per day, but I often exceeded that during days where I felt under stress or where I was drinking.
I never actually stopped or even had a serious enough attempt to stop smoking and in the last couple of years I really started thinking about this more and more but I never had the courage to do something about it.
DECISION
My mother is also a heavy chain smoker and she is smoking for the last 40+ years and its around a pack and a half to two a day. I recently visited her and she has developed a really nasty, nasty cough and that was one of the triggers for me. In that blitz moment I already made my decision and I just hated at that moment everything related to smoking.
Bought the same day the famous Allen Carr book, read it literally the same day and I got rid of my last cigarette and decided no matter what type of cravings I will have, I just don't want to put any cigarette in my mouth for the rest of my life. I just hate the idea of that and Allen Carr helped me visualize that inner nicotine creature that I am fighting now.
The cravings are a lot easier to handle once you have this clear picture in your mind, this clear decision, where I just don't want to smoke anymore. I hate the smell, the taste, the dependence and habit and most of all, I don't want to have it control my life, and it really controlled my life for the last 20 years.
DAY 3
At the time of writing I am entering hour 75 into my new journey. So far so good, I had some physical cravings, especially during the evenings after I try to relax, I also had the classic cravings and weird feelings after my morning coffee and especially after lunch and dinner.
One thing that is encouraging me is the mental part, even when I recognize the craving and the weird sensation, I still have this clear picture of pure hatred towards nicotine and cigarettes in my mind and that there is no way I will ever give up and have a smoke. I literally will do anything else if needed.
I feel how I am slowly entering the next phase of this journey and I am trying to keep myself busy. I can already feel the change with my body. The breathing the smell and taste and one thing in particular - energy. I feel so much more energized than before and this is highly motivating me to keep pushing.
SUPPORT IS IMPORTANT
Just to add here, support from friends, family and colleagues from work are really helping me. It's filling me with hope, energy, motivation and courage to successfully continue this major step in my life.
I will definitely keep you posted and push a new update for the next important milestone called "3 weeks" I have faith in all of you and this community is really helpful for my journey.
Good luck everyone and thank you!

My husband (29M) and I (25F) got married in September of last year and moved in together in February of this year. I had thought that between my job and his, we would be making progressive payments for our rent together. My father-in-law (now deceased) was also going to be helping with little things like bills or buying groceries, etc. etc.
There was a point that I was the only one working after my husband came back from a job that had a project complete early, causing him to arrive back home early. I thought that it would be a good thing so that he would be able to stay at home with his dad a little longer and be able to help around the house. My job as a secretary isn’t exactly stressful but I have to wake up around 6:50 AM and be able to help around the house. My job as a secretary isn’t exactly stressful but I have to wake up around 6:50 Am, go to work and deal with clients that aren’t exactly the best, travel back home after 5 PM and usually either had to help my father-in-law with food or take my husband to the store to get his cigarettes or liquor.
My father-in-law was no problem because his health wasn’t exactly the best but the whole situation with my husband, not doing his part in at least helping his dad out was my problem. After his dad passed in March, we started having issues with our landlord. She wasn’t much of a hassle to begin with, but as the months went by, we noticed that there would be occasions that I wouldn’t be home and he would hear the door opening and shutting or that he would find the back door that we never use open and unlocked.
That’s when we realize that our landlord might have been checking in on us by going into the home without us, knowing. Unfortunately, due to us not having any cameras or anything, we wouldn’t have been able to do anything. So my husband and I decided to stay for a minute with my mother-in-law. It wasn’t a problem until my husband started having his feet swell up. His feet weren’t swelling from lack of movement or due to any type of blood flow restriction, but we’re most likely caused due to underlying health issues.
He adamantly refuses to go to the hospital so at this point, I keep telling him and reminding him about all the bills we have to pay. He just acts nonchalant towards the situation as if it’s not serious. Throughout us staying at my mother-in-law’s, our landlord started wanting to conduct inspections. (That’s a whole other battle that I am currently dealing with.)
I was opposed to my landlord, going to the home just because of the fact that our house look like crap.(sorry for the choice of words.) And that piled onto my stress levels. I got an argument with my husband and told them that this is why I was so upset about him not doing anything at home and he says I am constantly nagging at him because he doesn’t work or bring in any income.
I constantly explained to him that I have no problem with him not working, but it has to be for a maximum of a month. It’s been over three months and he hasn’t made any effort to look for another job. Now, I have to look for another place to live due to a falling out between my landlord, and I and I feel like my marriage is going downhill.
Every time I mention it to my husband, he immediately throws up the defense walls and says that he has done his best for us and now I just wanted to throw everything away. I keep telling him it’s not that I want to throw everything away, it’s just hard for me to be the only breadwinner in our marriage and have to pay over $1000 in bills every month on a weekly salary of less than $500.
I just don’t know but, AITAH for saying that our marriage is going downhill?
Advice would also be appreciated. 😕

Hi there! Looking for some advice on how to approach a situation. Recently, my boyfriend lent me his favourite jacket to wear while he was away on a trip. I distinctively remember seeing the jacket on the communal hooks last Friday and remember not touching it since, especially because it’s been getting warmer where I live. Yesterday, I was trying to look for it because it was raining and it serves as a good jacket for the rain. When I couldn’t find it, I sent a message to my roommate group chat and asked if any of them had seen my jacket or taken it by mistake. I described the jacket as a black Tommy jacket (it was really Ralph Lauren but I misremembered). I also texted one of my roommate privately and asked her because I know she also tends to wear black jackets and thought she might have taken it by mistake. She texted me back and insisted she hadn’t taken it.
Anyway, later in the day, I have a gut feeling that she was the one that had grabbed it because the day before, she had accused me of taking her umbrella even though I wouldn’t touch someone’s things without asking them (that clued me into the fact that she may be the type of person to do just that since she had thought I would do it). I went into her room to briefly look with my flashlight and lo and behold, I found my jacket on an open clothing rack in her room. Not only did she lie about taking it, she had smoked in it and it smells like cigarette smoke now. I dont know how to confront her because its not right to take peoples things, but at the same time, I know shes going to be upset about me going into her room. Any advice would be appreciated!!
TLDR: roommate took my jacket, told me she didnt when I asked, but i found it in her room and now I don’t know how to approach the situation.
Edit: edited “my room” to “her room”

This is beyond frustrating. Other than calling or going there and asking the prices of all their cigarettes, or buying with my own money as i domt have a company card, I just don't get how I'm supposed to accomplish this task.
If someone was to come here or call and start asking prices, I'd be very suspicious that they were competition if it was more than one or two types.
What the heck, corporate??

Hello fellow nicotine addicts. After much consideration I've decided to share my story in hopes to find some support and those like me struggling with this highly addictive substance.
I'm a 34F and I've been addicted since age 14. I grew up in a smokers home. Many of my friends smoked. So one day I stole one of my mom's cigarettes and ran deep into the woods to smoke it. I felt high as a kite and threw up on my walk home. First red flag that I completely ignored. I continued to steal cigarettes and eventually I was bold enough to smoke in my room. My mother had allowed my oldest sister to start smoking in her teens, but one day I decided to ask her what she would think about me smoking. Well, that didn't go over well. "Do as I say and not as I do" type parenting skills. So I hid it from her. My mom was a chain smoker and bought cartons at a time. She had them in the car, in the living room, etc. It just made it real simple for me to snag one here and there, which turned into stealing whole packs. I just did it to rebel against her and thought I would never get addicted. LOL.
Here I am twenty years later and I wish so desperately I could go back and change. It didn't help that practically everyone I knew smoked. The jobs I worked (mainly restaurants) where it seemed like everyone smoked. I knew it was a bad habit but I didn't care enough to quit. Years went by and I started to hate being judged as a smoker. I tried the patches but fell off the wagon shortly after. The patches helped, but I just was not fully committed.
At age 21 I met someone and began a serious relationship with him. It took a few years until he began to pester me about my habit. I don't want to make him sound like a bad guy, but some remarks cut deep. I'd like to add he smoked weed, but didn't consider his smoking a "habit." You truly need support to quit. I tried the patches again and failed. This is when my vaping habit took over smoking. I started with the big refillable tanks which were a chore. I hated how they were bulky. I hated the sweetness. I missed a good old fashioned smoke. Anyway, I kept on. I slowly worked my way down to the lowest dose. Yet again, I caved when I went down to zero nic. I'm no longer in that relationship with that mam, btw.
Then the disposables came into play. No more chores of changing filters and filling tanks. How convenient! I swear vaping is worse than smoking. Now I vape in my home, in my car, while I work. In places and situations I normally never smoked in. It's easily accessible in my pocket and never far from me. It truly is the worst choice I ever made. At least now I can look at a cigarette and not be affected by it, maybe on a really drunken night would I smoke a cigarette but immediately regret it. The taste and smell is disgusting to me now.
So here I am with my vape. My little crutch that has taken over my self control. I hate it here.
As I'm sure many of you can relate, my history greatly feuled my relationship with nicotine. I've struggled with severe depression and managed to overcome the worst of it just a couple years ago. As if dealing with daily life and it's stressors isn't bad enough, things happen beyond our control. My father passed away in May ten years ago, then my mother passed away in May a year later. The grief is unavoidable and indescribable. It takes over and puts me in self-destructive mode. I turned to alcohol for a good while. Drinking everyday, sometimes to blackout just to numb the pain. Thankfully, I stopped drinking in excess, and now it's socially, or maybe once a week and never in high amounts. The grief remains and nicotine is there by my side.
I won't go into much detail about abuse. I'll just say I've suffered from abuse from numerous people (mainly men) in my life, mentally and physically. I'm not dragging men as a whole so don't come for me. My father was the greatest man in my life, and many more have my upmost respect. In fact, my mother was perhaps the worst abuser. My parents divorced when I was 2, btw. I sought therapy for all of it, including my grief. Nicotine remained my constant release.
I shared all of that personal history because it is relatable. We don't always get to choose what happens to us, and trauma deeply affects us all, whether we want it to or not. Trauma can also empower our addictions. It took me a very long time to seek help and share with the people I love what I've been through. There are a couple self help books that drastically changed my life. If you're interested in them, please let me know.
If you're strong enough to go cold turkey I salute you. I need major support. The physical and psychological addiction is crippling for me, and I don't want to end up in prison.
I've purchased the first step of nicotine patches again. I plan to throw away the vape when they arrive. I cannot go cold turkey. There's been too many failed attempts and the cravings are unbearable. I will also purchase the 2 MG nicorette gum once I finish the last step in patches as a backup. I will install the app I've seen others use.
I look forward to bettering my health. I hope the saving of money and time spent not vaping is enticing enough to stay on the wagon. I hope those around me benefit and enjoy their time with me without my nicotine habit, and I hope everyone in this group who are struggling like me find their freedom. I know at the end of the day it all falls on me, so wish me the strength and patience. I need it. ❤️

When it comes to vaping, the quality of your experience is heavily dependent on how well you maintain your supplies, especially your e-liquids. Storing vape e-liquids correctly is crucial for preserving their flavors and nicotine content and ensuring safety. This article provides comprehensive guidance tailored for regulatory agencies overseeing the vaping industry, focusing on best practices for e-liquid storage.
Have you ever wondered why your vape e-liquid starts to lose flavor or thicken over time? The way you store your e-liquids can significantly impact their quality and safety. This guide will explore how regulatory bodies can better understand and oversee these practices, ensuring they align with safety standards and consumer protection.

Understanding E-Liquids

What Are E-Liquids?

E-liquids, also known as vape juice, generate vapor in vaporizers and e-cigarettes. They commonly contain a base (typically a blend of propylene glycol and vegetable glycerin), flavorings, and nicotine. Recognizing their makeup is crucial to understanding the importance of appropriate storage for your vaping style.

Importance of Proper Storage

Why Store E-Liquids Correctly?

Proper storage helps maintain e-liquids' chemical integrity, prevent contamination, and extend shelf life. Understanding these needs allows regulatory bodies to develop guidelines that ensure consumer safety and product quality.

Ideal Storage Conditions

What Conditions Preserve E-Liquids Best?

When selecting e-liquids, opt for storage in cool, dark, and stable environments. Consistency plays a vital role in safeguarding the ingredients from degradation, especially nicotine, which is susceptible to heat and light.

The Role of Temperature

How Does Temperature Affect E-Liquids?

High temperatures can lead to the breakdown of nicotine and flavors, altering the taste and potency of the liquid. Regulatory agencies should emphasize the importance of cool storage in consumer guidelines and industry regulations.

The Impact of Light and Air

Why Shield E-Liquids from Light and Air?

Exposure to light and air can oxidize nicotine and diminish flavor. This knowledge should be incorporated into safety standards, with recommendations for air-tight, opaque storage containers.

Storage Containers

What Are the Best Types of Containers for E-Liquids?

Glass bottles are preferred for long-term storage of e-liquids, as they don't interact with the liquid like some plastics can. Ensuring these containers are properly sealed and stored away from direct sunlight is essential.

Long-Term Storage Solutions

How to Manage Bulk or Long-Term Storage?

Regulating how vendors and consumers manage bulk storage is vital for regulatory bodies. Recommendations include rotation systems and proper labeling to track shelf life and batch numbers.

Handling and Usage Best Practices

Best Practices for Daily Use

Educating on handling e-liquids daily—from shaking the bottle to keeping the cap tightly closed after use—can significantly affect product quality.

Regulatory Considerations

What Should Regulations Focus On?

Regulations should address labeling, packaging, and storage requirements that align with the latest scientific research on e-liquid stability and safety.

Common Storage Mistakes

What to Avoid

Avoiding heat sources, direct sunlight, and fluctuating environments are critical points that regulations should help to enforce.

Innovations in Storage Technology

Emerging Trends and Technologies

Exploring and endorsing technological solutions like temperature-controlled storage units can be a forward-thinking aspect of regulation.

Educating Consumers

How to Inform the Public?

Clear, accessible guidelines and educational materials on proper e-liquid storage can help enhance consumer safety and compliance.

To Wrap It Up

The correct storage of vape e-liquids is not just about prolonging shelf life—it's about ensuring safety and quality. As regulators, it is imperative to establish and promote standards that protect consumers and guide manufacturers.

its now been around 3 months since everything, this lasted for around 5 months.
Long novel incoming sorry
Hey all. I really cant talk about this to anyone without hurting her; so sit down this is a doozey. Needless to say I have not so great mental health, in high school I was in a pretty bad emotionally abusive relationship, I was pretty badly abused and pushed everyone I knew away and was in a pretty much severe depression and severe anxiety for around 6 years, I assumed one day I would sleep it off, and think normal but that never happened.
Anyways I get to college and really dont put myself out there to meet anyone else. Come to my senior year and my grades are pretty good, but this is when I(21M) meet her(19F), and I think shes gorgeous. I eventually work the effort to talk to her, and we become ok friends for about a week or so. During this time she would always message me and one time we stayed up until 2am in the university rec room just talking. This felt pretty damn good, for once it felt like somebody actually wanted to know about me, during this time she even looked up my house address and parents facebook without me even telling her their names, anyways a few days or aobut a week later she says shes going on a trip to visit her BF, I was devastated and cried, she says "that must be a punch in the balls, you had me mindfucked there for a while though, being in a LDR your always looking for something new etc" "i always had this mindset that this guy is great but I gotta tell him i have a boyfriend etc", even when I asked about her bio once(this is all on me however, I should of asked, I cried for other unhappy personal reasons aswell). It probably should of ended there.
But it didnt the next day I ask if she was okay if we were still friends and she says yes, she apologizes for not telling me sooner. We become pretty great friends, eventually we tell each other about pretty personal secrets, I tell her my high school experience, I tell her things I have never told anyone else in my life, like my suicide attempt in high school, she helps me explore some things about me like my sexuality, she even puts makeup on me which I love, and she reveals she also did not have the greatest high school experience and she has self harm scars, she later tells she SHs since she has a pattern of cheating in relationships; this only makes me feel more like a piece of shit and youll find out later. I genuinely for the first time in my life feel a purely platonic connection with someone. The nights where we sat by the pond for hours just tlaking about movies and tv shows filled my soul with so much warmth, I loved these moments I truly developed a platonic connection with her and cared so much about her. Shes in a LDR with this guy who I dont know(she later says she never brings him up because it makes me sad and I look away(should of ended then)), we begin hanging out quite regularly, I do some things I shouldnt have done at this time, I noticed she vapes and smokes so I begin to buy her vapes(she never asked me to), and I begin to vape and smoke cigarettes, she never asked me to, looking back this should not have happened, but I genuinely enjoyed seeing her happy and talking to her. She used to always say with the vapes "Now I have a reason to talk to you", why? Why would you need a reason to talk to your friend? It only made me want to buy them more.
Things start getting bad and she even mentions at this point shes likely emotionally cheating with me, which only scares me; that any day any moment any time this person who I genuinely enjoy and is my best friend could have to cut all contact with me, my mental health becomes absolutely horrendous due to this and this was always a very scary fear I had throughout all this,
I even tell her at one point it feels like im on a seesaw and im stuck and have to constantly battle catching feelings and keeping my only close friend. If i really cared about her it should of ended here, but it didnt, I should of stopped it. She begins to touch me, relativelly platonically(?)(Asking to bite me, biting me, rubbing my chest and carresing my arms) and sharing food, at first I sit there and dont touch back and sit there; I dont want to hurt her. Why would I hurt someone I care about? After a while I call her out on this and say like why are you touching me, I really cant touch back she says something along the lines of "I think im using you as a replacement for the lack of attention in a LDR", she later says she thought about it and I cant provide that for her and shes just showing her affection, but this continues, what was I doing wrong? Why cant I provide that?
Eventually I convince myself its after alot of weeks that its platonic and I touch back with the same things the arm on the shoulder, the shoulder rubbing etc. We would have smokes together roughly every night which would usually be hidden in a stair enclave where we would hug each other etc. One of her responses during this time when I mentioned how bad it would look if somebody saw us doing this she said "It would be worse for you"?? How would it be worse for someone who is not known to be in a relationship?? My self esteem was the lowest it has ever been in its life, I told myself that perhaps one day things would somehow magically change. Someone finally seemed to really like me?
Eventually as you could imagine things escalate, this involves her sitting on my lap once(forward facing, saying inapprioate things etc) in her room, her letting me rub her thighs and do her hair and rub her feet and bare legs. I should of cut contact but she was the only person who knew me, and understood me in my life. I didnt want to hurt her, I didnt want to hurt myself, but I did both. The big event happens just before Christmas, we go out and we cuddle for a while in the backseat of my car where she asked if we could cuddle in the backseat, then we head back, while in the car prior she shows me lewds on her phone(I showed her a lewd of mine prior), we both get buzzed then we go out to the pond and were looking in each others eyes holding each other and she asked to kiss my cheek, I say sure, she kisses my cheek and my chin just below my lips, which makes me feel euphoric then says "You know it would still be platonic if I let you kiss me, then I wouldnt actually be kissing you",
I wanted to so very bad, I wanted to with my whole being, I lean in, lean out before eventually saying "you have a boyfriend, If I kiss you your going to hurt yourself and I dont want to hurt you", she says "wow you have more morals than I do", "must be because your older etc" and tries to move on from it fast and dance with me, well I emotionally break the fuck down like you've HURT yourself because of this for fuck sake, she says "I didnt want to kiss you, I love my boyfriend, even if I broke up I wouldnt want to ever date you, you have too much baggage", "if we kissed I would block you and stop talking to you", the person who just asked me to kiss them, the person who has been biting me and touching me for weeks wouldnt even date me? Would block me if i did what she told me to do??? This absolutely destroyed me. I didnt know what to think. I basically had to yell at her and ask her "Why did you just try to kiss me." anyways this ends with both of us crying, her saying "I dont know what to do with the love given to me etc" me almost puking and eventually with me consoling her.
The next day we go get yogurt and I say shes my best friend and we simply need strong boundaries because I dont want to hurt her. If I should of stopped anytime it should of been now. I buy her a Christmas present and things end ok, breaks go by and im mentally gone, im at the lowest I've ever felt in my life, I feel insane, depressed, just psychotic. She messages and we talk everyday of the break(s), we say how much we miss each other etc, shes my buddy she really is, she knows everything about me, I know alot about her, and shes honestly my best friend, and I loved talking to her, she always would be there for me, I really appreciated her, we had alot in common; but I was hurting extremely bad, I felt like I was in a awful position. Anyways we return from the break into the new semester and I feel like im being used, I feel like a doormat, I feel like dirt. Things escalate here, I help her code and give her anything and everything she needs to succeed, I loved watching her succeed, because shes my best friend y'know? Anyways things get pretty bad, and we hang out alot, we always hug and I play with her hair and share our food and were pretty close, at one point I kiss her cheek for a week before realizing thats weird and made her uncomfortable and stop it, there was a week where she would cuddle with me in my bed and I moved her hand from my chest once saying stop I dont want to hurt you, she would say how happy I make her and we would rub our faces together and rub our noses together, we would watch shows together and I would rub her legs and put my hand around her. Looking back now it makes me feel sick and gross and confused, I convinced myself it was platonic.
I would pretty much be repeating often during any intimate event "I dont want to hurt you; I dont want to be the person to hurt you.", but it made me feel so very good, how do I navigate this? She would say I was the highlight of her days, the highlight of her semester, how sad she was I graduate soon, how she wishes I was in her grade, how im not a chore to talk to or hangout with. I certainely didnt fully stop these physical actions now because I was selfish, because I was ignorant. She would rub my head as we drove and put her arm down my shirt and while I was driving, etc. She would often also say "Why havnt you killed me yet...you must hate me etc." but why would I? She was my closest friend I ever had in my life. Things get super bad here, we head out and I buy her a vape(she did not ask) and we have another tough conversation about things, with the usual, "Im not breaking up with my boyfriend but your so lovable" and I get super emotional and hurt,
I really didnt want to hurt anybody. Anyways I get drunk; shes sober, and she lets me into her room a hour later as we were going to go see live music and she sits on my lap again forward facing and non-platonic things occurred, it doesn't go as far as sex but a line is crossed and we both immediately stop, but she cheated; I hurt her. I hurt her bad. I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt anybody. The guilt is beyond anything I ever experienced and I cant even understand how she feels. She downplays it, I almost cut myself because of the shame I felt that night, the next day im crying really bad to her and tell her she should probably tell her BF if she really loves him, she says "ok i will, he will still love me tho" "doesnt this scare you? I fuck around" "this guy called me cute the other day" "you deserve better" , I then tell her not to tell her BF, because im scared and didnt know what to think to do. I should of not stopped her and walked away then. We stay close friends for around 2 weeks after this event with a bit of contentation afterwards. There was a time I got super emotional and basically told her I wish there was a camera or a third party watching this to see what you were doing to me with all this rubbing and cuddling and affection, which made her pretty much storm away from me and me saying sorry im wrong and begging her to just talk and I have a panic attack. Eventually she realized because of a outside voice that she had to tell her BF(her roommate walked in on us as that event in her room was done unfolding) , she said her BF broke up with her and she needed space, me being a selfish asshole was unable to do that, I didnt want someone I cared about harming themselves because of me, she stated the day prior she was "going to get whats coming to her" I wanted to be there for her more than anything, I get extremely drunk throughout the week and I send her messages about how absolutely terrible I felt and how much she meant to me and of selfish ideals, I then saw her outside and ran up to her, she ran away and she couldnt even look at me.
The next day she said that was unacceptable, which it absolutely was, and even before that event she didnt see room for friendship since it was never"real", what does that mean? I still dont understand it, how was it never real? She then blocked me, said she would call the police on me if I approach her again. she would still absolutely avoid me even 2 months after.
During that time after I tried to apologize, I tried to make amends, I tried to give my closure, I tried to seek closure, All met with disgust, hatred and anger. She would literally will sprint away from me full speed as I stand. She stayed at a event I was presenting at and looked away from me for the whole hour, then very obviously took pictures of me then sprint away full speed as I sat there. That hurt me beyond belief. I never in my life had someone dead sprint away from me like im a monster. I dont know whats wrong with me or why she would think I would hurt her after everything she knows about me, after everything, but I dont blame her. She said she was sorry for her decisions before this and I had little to be sorry for, and gave me a blanket "im sorry for my decisions" but how do I have little to be sorry for if I was treated as im a abuser? I should hate her guts, she even said she led me on, she knew how bad that would hurt me, she dangled happiness infront of my face for months, she ruined my senior year, shes filled my brain with pain and resentment and betrayal, she caused me to become ostracized, to become an outcast. I never felt that low in my life, I never felt that extreme level of emotional pain. I honestly feel forever damaged. But for some reason I still have this deep care for her and I shouldnt, I still hope with all my being she passed and succeeded. I hope shes okay. If she fails or hurt herself over this I dont think I could ever forgive myself. It feels like she trusted me and I betrayed her, but I dont know.
I can't stop thinking how scared and confused and sad she was on the last day we talked, how can I forgive myself for doing that to someone, it haunts my dreams and beats me to my knees everyday. I was usually very sad when i was hanging out with her. And if she for some reason forced herself to do those things with me because she felt bad for me then I don't know how I can live with myself, I never asked for those things, but I should of stopped them, I knew they were wrong, Im sorry.
Its just so unfair. Why not just leave me alone why put all this into my head even after I told her how bad this would hurt me. If im not the bad guy then why put the image of someone in my head sprinting away from me like im a monster. There has to be something im missing, I dont understand how you can move on from something like this. The closest friend I ever had dead sprint away from me, the person I would talk to every single day for 5 months straight absolutely hates my guts and my whole being. I dont want to try anymore. I gave it all the little I had.
Im not a victim, im not a saint, I didnt stop my actions, I played a role and Im forever sorry, I lost someone I cared about and someone who maybe at one point actually cared about me. Im sorry. I dont know how to view this. I just want someone to talk to and someone to understand me, I just want someone to tell me I wasnt blind, for someone to tell me this doesnt define me, for someone to say your going to be okay, because as of now im 2/2 for being hurt badly in a relationship(I dont even know what to call this), any insight I get online I always have to type in "ex" to get relevant results which only makes me more confused. She couldnt even wish me happy birthday or give me the present she bought me, i spent it all alone. I graduated college months ago, I have a ok job lined up which I hate.
I have a not so great home life, I dont know what to do with myself or how to live with myself after all this, why would I do this to myself, why do I struggle forming connections? why do I hurt people I care about? It felt real to me. I now talk to maybe 2 people, im bisexual and live in the middle of nowhere and have nobody. I dont want to talk to anyone ever again. Theres more to it perhaps, she used to always say " i hope im doing him more good than harm etc" but i dont know how leading someone on who has emotional trauma helps them, maybe we both should of left each other alone. I really did like talking to her, and liked hearing what she had to say, but ill likely never talk or see her ever again. I dont want to go down this road again. I dont want to hurt anybody. I have panic attacks when I would go to her hallway or if she saw me. It felt like i had to document everything I did. I feel like a weirdo loser. I constantly breakdown. I spend most of my days sleeping and waking up feeling immense internal guilt and hatred and pain. Anytime I tried to talk to someone about this i was seen as estranged and disregarded, the only thing I could of done was tell my side with proof and videos, but I dont want to hurt anybody. but it so unfair; im tired of only knowing pain.
If you read all this then I deeply appreciate you, I dont know why I cant understand what happened.
TLDR: OP(21M) meets (19F) after self isolating from abuse for years, she reveals she had a long-distance boyfriend. Despite agreeing to stay friends, their relationship blurred boundaries, involving deep emotional sharing and physical affection. This led to emotional cheating, exacerbating his mental health issues. When their physical interactions crossed a line, she eventually told her boyfriend and cut off all contact, leaving the author devastated and guilt-ridden. Now he grapples with intense guilt, isolation, and a sense of betrayal, questioning his actions and struggling to move on from the experience.

My mother was just in the hospital for septic shock. While there her lungs started failing so they put her on a ventilator. She was on the ventilator for 4 days and then was brought back to stable and moved out of the icu into a room. While in the hospital they figured out that she has something wrong with her heart making her a huge risk for a massive heart attack and that she needed open heart surgery. She needed round the clock care getting up and moving to the bathroom ect because of her foot that she had just had surgery on a month ago, which was the source of the sepsis. A little background, my mother has never been any good at managing money, so I have been paying for 70% of everything that she has including cigarettes(at least a pack a day or more) and goody powders (9 or more a day). While she was in the hospital she asked me to bring her goody powders to which I refused. She did not like that. Anyway, they put a picc line in and she was to take iv antibiotics multiple times a day for like a month or so. Her case manager and I talked her into going into a nursing facility temporarily until she gets healed up. Well as that was getting set up she decided that she didn't want to be in the hospital anymore and demanded that I come take her home. She even called security and told them she was being held captive in her room. The nurses and I told her that if she leaves now she will likely die because legally they couldn't send her home with the picc line in and couldn't send her home with antibiotics she needs. She even signed a waiver saying that the hospital could not be held liable if she goes home and dies. Well she still insisted she went home. I told her that she needed to stay and let them take care of her because i couldn't do it myself (I work a full time job and we fight all the tine anyways) well I took her home and dropped her off because I was angry with her choices. I left a pack of cigarettes and a few goody powders and told her to make them last because she wasn't going to get them from me anymore, I wasn't going to contribute anymore. The septic shock made her lung start failing, but im sure smoking like a frieght train did not help matters. The next day I checked up on her and she asked if she could have a few cigarettes and I told her no and stood on what I said the day before. I leave because I didn't want to fight. She later messages me and tells me to not come around anymore. Says thus has been a long tine coming. I said "over not buying cigarettes? That's crazy mom." And then I brought up all the years I've supplied everything for her and that she only looked at me as a cash cow. The next day I woke up to a message from her saying that she knows that I don't love her and that I never have and that if she dies somebody would let me know, and then blocked me. So my question is am I just being an asshole and should I give in to her like i always do, or should I just stand my ground and do nothing. Sorry for the long post, me and my mother have a complicated history and there is much more relevant stuff to type, I'm just not trying to write a novel. I'm 32(m) and she is 58, if that matters.

OOOH. I was SO excited for these! I got an 8 pack sampler set (which they have a REALLY cool system where you can pretty much get as many samples as you like, and aren't limited to a 5 pack). They came in while I was away on a trip, so thankfully I got to skip a week waiting period and get to them after they had settled a bit, to try them out. Great TAT from this house (got them in within a week or two) AND you got to pick which Freebie you wanted, which was so awesome!
My review of this scent house so far: 4/5. It would honestly be a 5/5, but for that they have such a short wear period on my skin. Pretty much every 2 hours, I'd have to reapply :/ But, pretty much every single scent was really great and accurate to their scent descriptions, and I'll probably still FS buy a few!
Just make sure to slightly mix these guys up by turning them up and down a couple times (not so fast that you create air bubbles), to make sure the scent is fully mixed. You'll read in my notes, some of my first impressions when I Didn't do that. Don't make my mistake lol
My Rating System:
1/5: In my opinion this scent just smells really bad. I am not interested in the least. It is NOT my cup of tea and I would actively run away if I smelled it on someone else
2/5: Eh, it smells more like a scent for a cleaner or laundry detergent or maybe just a room scent. Not a perfume/cologne for me
3/5: Not my cup of tea, but It's well balanced and I could see someone else wearing it! Just not me lol
4/5: Almost perfect, just missing a scent note or two, or doesn't last very long, or dries down powdery/weirdly
5/5: I love this scent and will definitely be wearing it, if not FS-ing it!
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Cottagecore No. 1:
Official scent description: It is a warm and inviting blend of blueberry cobbler, wood burning stove, and spice cabinet. It starts off sweet with a buttery rich crust and fresh picked blueberry cobbler. A whisp of spices cut through to break up the sugars. There's a background of smoke, musk and burning wood that lingers in the background but really comes to life on the dry down. The sweetness fades to meet merrily in a dance of oud wood, smoke, spice and cobbler. Feels like a cottage in the woods on a warm summer day after picking berries all morning. A fresh cobbler in the wood burning and comfort in your soul. A gender neutral scent that anyone can enjoy.
Top- buttery crust, cinnamon, incense
Middle- blueberry, brown sugar, wood smoke
Bottom- vanilla bean, oud, musk, amber
My review: Straight out the bottle, it is pure blueberry cobbler, but as it dries, it gets weirdly perfume-y? Very quickly, too. You still get the hints of blueberry, but this powdery note kinda overtakes it all.
After a little bit the powder dies down and do you get more of the buttery crust blueberry cobbler, but this one may not be my cup of tea, sadly :/
2/5
**after about 10 minutes the blueberry pops back up to a mix of spices and blueberries that I actually like! 3 or 4/5. I do wish it had a bit more blueberry throw AND didn't have that weird powdery burst at the first dry down. A very fruity comforting fall scent, I think. Yeah, I really like it for a fruity fall scent**
**UPDATE*\*
I had to try this one a second time after that initial review. Just to try it after shaking it lightly, just a bit, to mix.
Wet I absolutely love this scent. It's giving start of fall and you're making blueberry pie or cobbler and it's spiced with fall spices and you even scraped out some authentic vanilla beans for the recipe and I actually don't get that weird strong powdery note at all! So, definitely make sure to turn samples from this house a time or two, to make sure everything is mixed, but not so much that there are air bubbles. After about 30 or so minutes it dries down to autumn cooking spices, mainly, with mainly a hint of a fruity scent. Still lovely though!
4.5 /5 it would be 5, but pretty much all the scents from this house go poof very quickly on me. All trace of it leaves my skin by 2.5/3 hours
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MIDNIGHT CIRCUS
This one was my freebie. My brother and I are putting on a type of Dark Karnival -esque camping event this fall and I really wanted to get a scent to wear there lol
Official scent description: a dark yet lively experience of caramel popcorn, fire, lacquer floorboards and whimsy
Top- hickory, honey, incense, cinnamon
Middle- smoke, amyris, caramel, salt, praline, spice
Bottom- cedarwood, moss, oud, olibanum, amber, musk, leather, popcorn, butter, vanilla
My review: This smells exactly like you're walking around a fall carnival with a big bonfire going on in the middle. Essentially it smells like your favorite fall candle scent, but just a bit more complex with the wiffs of campfire smoke and cedarwood in there. Even though it's the end of May, I sniff it on my wrist and think it's gonna be chilly outside. That feeling you get when the seasons are changing.
Strongest notes on me: wood smoke (though I wish I got more hickory to it), spices (cinnamon mainly), carameled buttery popcorn, vanilla and maybe the honey, maybe praline? It all blends very nicely into a great, if slightly generic, fall scent
Notes I don't get at all: leather, moss, oud. Those are the notes that would probably make this perfectly complex, but I just don't get them out of it. It's pure fall gourmand. I'll probably layer this over a scent that has those notes and need sweetening
Enough of a throw that I get a wiff going about my day
last drydown: dries down to autumn spices, essentially. Reminds me of walking in Gatlinburg in the fall, through all the little shops nestled in the mountain amongst the autumn trees. Completely gone within 3 hours though
4/5
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BLACK HONEY
Official Description: Black Honey is a sultry blend of Spiced Honey, black amber, cedarwood, tonka, and tobacco leaf.
My Review:
I like it! I just don't LOVE it :/
The spiced honey notes in this, wet straight on my skin, are my favorite parts, though there is a weird 'Clean' note behind it as an undertone. Maybe it's the black Amber or the tonka. I've been running down a dead note for myself and one of those might be the one. The strong Clean note blends back down into the other notes, after a bit, though. But, going back to it after about 30 minutes, it does still smell very 'clean' smelling. Like, I showered with a dark spiced honey shower soap.
Sadly, I think honey may just be a note so good note for me. So far, it always goes soapy/clean on me :/ I'm hoping it's not just the Honey note in particular, and more just an underlying note or two that generally gets paired with Honey. Otherwise, honey may be a dead note for me :/
Long drydown: it smells like I just stepped into a specialty soap shop. The ones where they sell soaps, beeswax, and honey. And by afternoon my skin just smelled lightly sweet from it. Not my favorite for most days, but maybe on occasion, or to layer in a honey note to my darker more witchy scents
3.5/5 *sigh* I really just want a dark spicy Gourmand honey. Can anyone give me any suggestions for that?? a Honey scent that DOESN'T dry down clean and powdery??
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Haunted Library
Official description: This scent will transport you to an old Victorian library. With ceiling high wooden book shelves, Creaky floorboards, leather bound books covered in a blanket of dust, fragile yellowing pages, and musty tufted chairs. Wafting through it all is the scent of sweet tobacco- the scent of the spirit that haunts these walls.
Top- Teakwood, tonka
Middle- cedar, leather, sweet tobacco, molasses
Bottom- sandalwood, Patchouli, mahogany, dark musk
My Review: a VERY light scent. Wow. Make sure you turn up and down a bit to really make sure the scent is fully blended, cause I could Barely smell it out of the bottle. It's a bit Cleaner than what I think a haunted library would really smell like. But, maybe like a lady ghosts' personal library? Overlooking the sea maybe? It weirdly gives off Cape Cod/Northeast coast/maine vibes to me. Like a Ladies Library in a Newport mansion.
I'm generally more of a sweet fruity over complex herbally scent person, or really cool gourmand scents, but I actually really like this scent! I have no clue in what instance I'd wear it, but I really do like it. I'll probably use it to give a tea or vanilla scent more complexity, or after wearing them, maybe even layering it with Stains of scarlet (down below). I don't get too much of the individual notes, but they all blend Very nicely for a femme leaning unisex scent!
As it dried the dust notes got sharper and the molasses got brought out more. First out the bottle, the wood and pachouli notes are a bit stronger. I still don't really get any leather though. My kingdom for a good strong leather scent! Lol. This is like a dainty haunted library, haunted by one of the Bridgerton ladies lol. Sweet, slightly dusty and papery, with a light hint of nostalgia and faded sweet perfume….Oh my goodness, this is Eloise's scent lol, to a T
4/5 only really because it's not really my vibe and this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours
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White Magic
Official description: White magic is an herbaceous blend of sage, lavender, incense and eucalyptus. The sage, lavender and eucalyptus are balanced equally where the incense is more of a background player here. This blend feels clean and comfortable and wears beautifully. Sage can be an off-putting smell to some put it is added subtly to not shine over the lavender. It rings to me, as a comforting freshness that I can't get enough of. This is a gender neutral scent.
Top- lavender, bergamot, pine needles, eucalyptus
Middle- chamomile, sage, camphor, rosemary, pepper
Bottom- Cedar, Sandalwood, incense, Orris root, amber
My thoughts: First out the bottle my first thought was YES!!!!!! Finally a lavender scent that doesn't smell powdery or like laundry soap! It does smell a wee bit Clean, but I think that's more the nature of any scent with these scent notes, since they're used in cleaning supplies and soaps so often. But, this scent is a Super green floral. No powdery note to my nose at all! (and I pull powder like CRAZY lol, it's been a problem for me since I hate powdery scents). This scent transports me to a spa shop full of fresh drying Eucalyptus, sage, and lavender. By the last drydown, the Eucalyptus is the strongest note
4.5 out of 5, only because this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours ______________________________________________
Memento Mori
Official Description: an intriguing blend of smoked vanilla, dark spice, patchouli and black amber.
Top- smoke, clove, white pepper, blood orange Middle- sandalwood, jasmine, amber, nutmeg, black pepper, cardamom seed Bottom- black amber, vanilla, dark musk, benzoin, amyris, patchouli, cassia bark, ebonywood, dark musk
My review: Not gonna lie, this is almost chrismasy. Like a Dark Yule vibe. The dark spice in there completely reminds me of late fall/early winter spices. It's definitely going to be a fall/winter scent for me. Smokey spiced vanilla and clove. It'll be perfect to mix with an Apple scent to add more Autumn/early winter complexity! It gives walking in late fall/crisp winter when the leaves are almost all gone and you have a cinnamon chai warm in your hands walking out in the cold, vs Midnight Circus which gives off Fall carnival with smoky campfire vibes
By the end of the drydown (1.5 hours, maybe 2), all I get is cinnamon and maybe some other spices, Very light sweetness coming from the vanilla. This'll be a good mixer with some of my more sharp winter woodsy scents from Pineward, for a great late fall/winteyule scent!
4.5 out of 5, only because this scent house goes poof too fast on me. All the scents from this house poof in about 2.5/3 hours
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Nightshade Elixir
Official Description: Nightshade Elixir is an intoxicating blend of deadly nightshade, Moonflower Nectar, Elderberry and absinthe. There is a mysterious quality to this blend that keeps it from being too sweet from the berries or too floral from the Moonflower. There is a perfect blend of fruity, floral, spice and mystery. It starts out on the sweeter side to draw you in (from the black currant and agave), before the deadly dark side starts to shine through on the dry down with black tea, saffron, absinthe and Anise. An all together delectable and mysterious blend that will keep you coming back for more
Top- saffron, anise, agave
Middle- Black current, black berry, jasmine
Bottom- amber, tonka, dark musk, black tea, absinthe, dark musk
My review: Okay, this one does go a bit on the powdery/clean perfume vibes. But, I do still like it?? Very strange, considering I hate clean/powdery scents, but this one balances the Clean notes with a juicy fruity flowery vibe that it balances things quite nicely and I can't stop smelling myself. There's a sharp powdery note in there, though, that keeps me from giving it a 4/5. I've narrowed it down to either the Amber or dark musk or tonka. Whatever it is, it's totally a dead note for me. It's popped up in a few other scents over the samples I've gotten, and it's been quite annoying. I May add something a bit juicier to this. But, it almost gives Spring Fairy Queen vibes. fruity and florally, but also a bit perfumey and stringent
3.5/5 I do like it, it's just a bit too powdery perfume-y for me. Under a pear or other fruit scent, I think it would be quite nice!
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Black no 1
Original description: This scent was inspired by Type O Negative's song, "Black No.1", with notes of crisp fall leaves, burning cedar, smoke and incense.
I wanted to capture the essence of burning leaves as well as autumn air, a faint whisp of clove cigarettes, freshly dyed hair and wolf skin boots. The scent opens up with deep Notes of leather, incense and smoke. Then, brightens slightly with spiced fruit in autumn air, intermingled with warm amber. Wrapped up on a base of burning cedar and musk. This is a deep, gender neutral scent, not for the faint of heart
Top- incense, cedar leaf
Middle- green leaves, smoke, pine, spiced fruit
Bottom- cedar, amber, musk, leather
My review: Ooh, you DEFINITELY get the spiced fruit. Where Memento Mori you get a late fall Slightly into Winter vibe, this scent is ALL winter vibes. Like you're drinking mulled berry wine and christmas shopping downtown, so there's a tinge of cold in the air and incense/fall scented candles are lit in the stores. This scent house REALLY likes its cinnamon note. Those spices are the strongest hit in this, first on my skin. Straight spiced mulled fruits
4/5 but only because the scent description notes of 'clove cigarettes, freshly dyed hair, and wolf skin boots' kinda gave me the vibe that it would be more a kickass chick wearing a leather jacket- kind of scent, but it's more a straightforward CHRISTMAS scent lol. Did not expect that vibe from the original scent description. If the leather and smoke and leaves and cedar were more prominent, maybe. I just REALLY want a good leather scent :/
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I hope this review helps out someone looking for new samples to try!
Also, if anyone could recommend a really good leather scent...please hook a girl up? ;)

Hello , short version, only interested in something serious and longterm. USA strongly preferred.
Absolutely no : History of abuse, history Addiction, mens haircuts, Colored hair ( blue, pink etc) heavy drinkers, single moms, cigarette smokers , NEW ACCOUNTS, no activists on any level, NO Black woman, must be an actual female from birth, im sure there is more but mind is blank at the moment.
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I am looking for someone who is willing to actually put 50/50 effort into this. If you have zero desire to talk, check messages, respond in a timely manner etc we have absolutely ZERO to be talking about. I am very much over these types of interactions, I honestly dont get it haha. Communication is very key.
\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\_\\\Brief info about me : Enjoy all things true crime related ( podcasts, documentaries etc), I listen to all types of music to the point its just easier for me to say if I like it, ill listen to it period. If you saw me in person and then saw my Spotify it would probably shock you, not in a bad way though haha. I like to cook and BBQ when weather permits although I have been slacking on the bbq aspect lately. I use to compete with my exes father and it was a ton of fun. learned alot of things and made some amazing ribs and chicken. I love to try new foods when possible, id love to travel more, I do enjoy cruises, im pretty laid back type of person in the sense im open to whatever as long as it isnt lame.Please be 420 friendlyIts really pointless to write a lot here considering most messages are fake accounts / bots. Please send your basic info when you message instead of just "hi". Name, Location, age please thanks. Also be ready to exchange photos, if as an adult you "cant" do that, please dont message me lol.

It's been so long since I did any analysis of RM's music, the last time I was fifteen and so so depressed. RM has grown as an artist while I grew as a person, in a way it's so personal that every time he comes up with new music, even if it's been long since I really liked BTS music, I just have this ich in my fingers asking me to write down my thoughts. With Right Place, Wrong People I just can't hold myself, Indigo almost made me write my thoughts down in this sub (because that album was made for me, an art theory nerd) but this new album???? Man, I've got things to say. So, sorry for babbling, here are my thoughts:
Before talking about the content, lyrics, and general thoughts, I need to mention and study all the great artists working with RM on this album. First and foremost, San Yawn from Balming Tiger literally could be called the co-creator of this album. Another member of Balming Tiger, bj wnjn, also appears in the credits of a few songs. In the chorus in Dodomachi, you can see the best example of his influence because he's the one who sings it. The sounds, gimmicks, and the way most of the songs in the album are pierced together really feel like Balming Tiger, if anyone is a fan of them you know what I mean. Check them out, they just recently came out with an incredible album: January Never Dies. And for some song recommendations, if you really liked the theme in LOST! in Right Place Wrong People, you will love UP!.
Some other great artists work in production, OHHYUK (from HYUKOH) is the producer of Come back to me, and it really shows. I desperately ask you to go listen to HYUKOH's albums if you liked that song cause, man, that song could have fooled me if you told me it was theirs. Mokyo too, recently has been working with a lot of artists and coming out with really creative stuff, so please check him out. Going back to Come back to me, Kuo from Sunset Rollercoaster worked in it too and the guitar in the song really shows it. Check Sunset Rollercoaster too, they deserve a lot more love from the k-rock lovers. Supremeboy, even if he only appears in (I think) the credits of out of love, deserves always the love and respect from old fans of RM, so shout out to him too.
The really rich mixture of sounds and genres in the album really makes me think once again of Indigo, but this time it feels so different. In Indigo RM took a lot of inspiration from the sound of this artist but the message was less introspective in his lyrics than in Right Place Wrong People, now the mix with this artist really mixes so deeply the introspection in the lyrics with the sound. And really, the appreciation we should have for those who worked with RM in the production and writing of the album should be pointed out in bold letters and neon, cause it's fundamental to understand the whole meaning and message of the album, to the understand it's conception.
In the album, RM talks primarily about how he's perceived and how that affects the person he's come to be. It's a beautiful introspection on how others interact and convince him, and how that has affected him, and how he interacts with people. On the one hand, you can see the real symbolism that is the mix of RM's introspection with the people he collaborated with. Most people only look up to the features when we talk about the mix of different artists sounds, but in Right Place Wrong People, the symbiosis of RM's compositions it's with those that he's featuring and with those that work with him in production. See Dodomachi, he's featuring Little Smizs (I promise you I was shocked to see he was collaborating with her, go check out her last album Drop 7, it's GOLD), he collaborates and mixes his sound and lyrics with hers perfectly, but at the same time it's in the production and the choruses where what shines it's the work of bj wnjn, with his distinctive singing and those lyrics heavy where we can hear a more hollow and dark feeling in the "Friend, let's dance here", really showing the true heaviness of dislike for the life of partying he's been pushed to by those called friends. the mix of sounds, the collaboration of other people's voices (this time the right people in the right place) it's what gives the extra layers and deepness to RM's new album.
On the other hand, RM's introspection feels old and comforting for an old fan. I remember when Mono came out and how much I loved (and I still love) Seoul. Listening to this new, older, Namjoon I can't help but see in this new tone the comeback of the idea he presented once:

If love and hate are the same words /I love you, Seoul

Back then the music is very conciliatory, and acceptance of change. That has changed, in Indigo we see a brief development on this idea with Change pt. 2:

Love change, friends change, everyone change, no, yeah / It is not strange, hmm, that's the world's shape, aye / You gotta admit it, hmm Don't you get it still? / Someday, a great grief will do come for you, hmm, yeah

The song, while being in Indigo, has the same type of violent emotion that connects more with Right Place Wrong People than with the album it's in. It refers to things that connect with songs like LOST!...

Ay, ay, ay, ay (Dump it on the ground, shit) / Ay, ay, ay, ay (Dump it on the ground, shit) / I keep trippin', I can’t stop bleeding / I got lost in the ground, but not beggin' at you

It refers to things that connect with songs like LOST! while also being the stage in between Mono and Right Place Wrong People. The three albums together can be read as the stages of the being of RM, the acceptance of what he was back in 2018, what his art is in 2022, and who he is in 2024. Right Place, Wrong People, as much as you can talk about it being an album of songs giving the middle finger to people, is (for me) an album about RM, how he's now as a person, and how that relates to the people around him and love. For me is an album about love and being oneself openly, and aggressively. It's love connected with pain, "pain divine". It comes back to Seoul and the connection with love and pain, how Seoul and RM's soul were the same, and how he has grown with that deep pain and love. What once was a song written with the calm acceptance of this, in Right Place Wrong People we see how this understanding has grown and RM just can't keep pretending he's not this, someone built by pain and love. In Come back to me we see it:

You are my pain, divine, divine.

A song, talking about someone that's not there for him anymore, connects with this idea RM has been working with for so long in his music, that his soul is built with pain and love. But now he's not only accepted it, but he's confident in it. You can see this in Nuts, where he compares the love between him and others with elements of danger, while also assuring the person that he doesn't wish to change things to be with them, he "can make this place right for" them.

It was a tough relationship, there's a stigma on my chest / It's called you, I can't even believe we were together /It was a flu, and we could see the karma coming through

RM works around the concept of being built by pain and love, and turns it into the concept of painful love. He works around this idea in this album with these two songs especially, but you can see it in others like Around the world in a day with Mosses Summey:

We who are lost don't look so pitiful / Now with a smile, raising the middle finger / Yeah, all the past, the present / I'ma pass, then give it to you / I like myself broken, b!tch, that's the sh!t

I think the more interesting line in this song is the one that goes "My appearance like a lost item hoping to be found / We who are lost don't look so pitiful / Now with a smile, raising the middle finger", and it really connects these songs I've talked about with the rest of the songs in the album, the ones that as he says is a "raising the middle finger" to those that criticize him, in those that expect him to be someone different. This theme is maybe more prevalent, you see it in Out of love or in Dodomachi. In one he says it directly, referring to the (dumb if you ask me) scandal with the picture of him smoking with these lines:

I'm just a pack of cigarette / I'm going to burn down all the love and the hate, the right, the wrongs / Even the goddamn world I've been livin' in for my whole life / Smoking kills, I know / It's my business, you bitches stop, don't talk shit / Ashes falling like snow / I've been changin' the flow

In Dodomachi he uses singing, the dark pessimistic voice of bj wnjn to talk about how he's being pushed by those who call themselves his friends to change, to be what people would expect of an artist as famous as he is, to make him forget who he was before:

I been slipping through all kinda b*llsh*t, I forgot where I came from / All s*ckers wanna get it, take a sip, silently pour it into the glass / All the s*ckers wanna hit it, I'ma lead you to the heaven, blow the flute / All my friends wanna get around in O's, all my friends wanna take another pose / Yeah, I'm knocked out, what a bullsh*t (Get the f*ck down) / Muhf*cka, want a doom sh*t

And while I could continue for days writing my ideas on this album, I think I should conclude (I have an exam tomorrow I should be studying instead of doing this, I blame you Kim Namjoon for my laziness) with what this all concludes in the album. It's called Right Place, Wrong People and that's because of good reason. What comes out of all the ideas RM presents in the songs is one big concept: the confidence of who he is, with the pain and the love that has built him, and how he just doesn't care to conform to those that not understand this and want him to be someone else. From Seoul to Right Place, Wrong People, he shows how not only he has accepted who he is (pain and love) but he also doesn't care if others don't accept him. I think the best examples of this are in ? (Interlude), and Heaven.

You know you got the best of me / Do you know me? / I don't mind at all

This album is one of self-love, introspection, and knowing oneself, to not only accept to be confident in those things painful in one. To give a middle finger to those who want to change him and to those who criticize him for not conforming to the cruel world of fake image, violence, and stardom. It's a beautiful conclusion to ideas he has worked with in BTS and with his early works as a soloist, going as back as 2017 when he asked to be told "everything is alright" in Change with Wale. I think is beautiful how all these ideas have changed and morphed and matured with him, going from:

And tell me that every, everything gon' be alright / Oh tell me who's stupid, baby, is it me or them? / Just tell me who's insane, baby, is it me or them? / In this crazy world after patience, could we get the pearl?

to...

There are so many unlucky bastards in the world / So what? Just keep going your own way / There are so many incomprehensible bastards in the world / I just step on it harder, just step on it harder / Yeah, I fuck it up, I fuck it up / Hate is harmful but I suck it up /Now I'll go the other way, to the cliff (...) Just lower your eyes, so don't provoke me / If you want to be friends, just pour me a drink, you dig?

PD: I wrote so much, god, and I haven't studied a bit. Going to stay up all night. Wish me luck guys! And go listen to RM's new album and all the others artist that worked with him!!!!!!
PD2: I posted this before but deleted when I was told there was a megathreat for the album, but I think it's a bit too long and counts more of analysis than reaction or discussion of the album? so someone told me I could post it as it one and I agree, if you see this hope work went well!

My boyfriend is a smoker. He says he'll quit, but only reduces for a while before he starts outright smoking again. I've told him I would prefer for him to quit, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. He knows how I feel about it anyway.
I'm a bit of a homesteady type and I keep looking at his cigarettes like if you're going to smoke those, let's at least grow them ourselves. At the same time, I'm vehemently against smoking, so I don't want to help feed into his habit either.
Is there a recipe or a method so that if I start planting tobacco, he can use it without smoking (and maybe even quit in the long term)?

Irritating and petty neighbors
(23 M) I live at Vanasthali colony ( Dhanbad, Jharkhand) near bhophor mandir at chanakya nagar. I have a family of 4 , Ma , papa and Bhaiya. Not disclosing the flat name as for security purpose, We relocated here during covid period in 2020, the locality and people are decent, sometimes they are too much religious and friendly also. Long story short everything is perfect except a particular person named Sachin, he lives only with his wife as per my knowledge. This duo of scumbags have been continuosly poking and causing problems for us. At first it was because of a parking issue which we settled down and compromised as we don't wanna fight to them directly. Me and my elder brother both are extremely hot headed and bulky in nature but at the same time we have our ma and papa in their 50s and we don't wanna cause any trouble for them in long run. The parking issue was followed by continuous garbage throwing near our balcony which created a smelly dump and was not tolerable at all. We complained to the builder and caretaker which solved this issues till some extent. But now after so many weeks he started throwing burnt cigarette buds at our balcony from the parking area. He is the type of petty and lichar person who keys at your car randomly just because of an argument. I need to know what type of legal action I could take on him which will not be a hassle for our parents but also solve the issue of constant misbehavior. The lit buds he threw yesterday and day before yesterday were on our back side of balcony were we use to keep small gas and stove for non veg. We could close the Sliding windows to avoid this but we have an ac duct outlet connected to it which could overheat and trap hot air during summer times... Please I need some kind of idea or legal step to stop all these for once and for all. He(Sachin) is a scrony and drwafy bastard who I could literally send flying with a single slap(punch not worth it ) and still is a nuisance to us just because we have kind quiet and humble parents.

So I don’t really know how to explain this. I work at kfc with my sister (it happened to my sister) at work, we’re supposed to have shared lockers, but people started putting locks on the lockers, so nobody can use them except people who have locks. So if you bring any personal items like keys you have to leave them on the break table.
My work recently hired this new guy. In my opinion he’s kinda off (even before the key incident) hes 18 and wears his pants extremely low (with no underwear) so I have seen his bare ass multiple times.
So my sister left her keys on the break table and we both worked an 8 hour shift. After our shift we got into the car and my sister immediately said the car smelt weird. (Like cigarettes, neither of us smoke) And personally I don’t think I smelled anything but I don’t have that great of a sense of smell. She also said her aux cord wasn’t where she left it (she has little cord holder so it doesn’t hang on the floor) and when we got in the car it was hanging on the floor. She also keeps a pack of gum in her side door. And when she opened it today almost 50% was gone and that I know wasn’t like that.
I haven’t brought it up to the boss cause they have a tendency to ignore these types of issues ( I have been physically assaulted by a manager (he threw a bag of tortillas at me)) I have a year left of school, if that and then I’m quitting. If I make it that far. But I don’t know if there’s any cameras or if our cameras even go that far into the parking lot. Or even if I bring it up to the boss if they’ll even believe me. My sister doesn’t want me to bring it up. But I don’t think what happened is legal. Do you have any advice. Besides quitting?

I copy pasted this from a longer version of this story so that’s why these are labeled part 2 and 3. I edited out/ added context to make this part make sense on its own. And I’m trying to give as much context as I can to show why I’m having these feelings. Me and my husband have known each other a little over a year, we have been dating for 7months and married for 2months, crazy timeline I know but it’ll make sense with the rest of the context lol. (why I refer to him as leany was explained in the first part, just go with it) tldr@bottom of post
This next part is basically part 2: Flash forward and I start being friends with this guy at work that I had a crush on ( you guessed it, it’s Leany) he was a dishwasher at first but by this time they have him doing everything but that. He is a tall, light skin nerdy guy with curly hair and glasses that were broken so he literally had the stereotypical nerd piece of tape in the middle holding them together lol. He NEVER SPOKE when he was doing dishes, he had his headphones in and did his job. But once he started doing other things in the kitchen we would have a small interaction when he would come put more plantain on the line( I served food at a Jamaican spot) one day he restocked them and I said thank you, and he said “ur welcome” yall in that moment it went from a little crush to damn near a full on obsession, his voice was so deep and sexy like idk what I thought he would sound like but it wasn’t that. Flash forward to new years 2023, he gets drunk asf at the work New Year’s party, and my boss asks me to to take him home, (at this point me and him are kind of cool every once in a while we’ll hotbox my car while on break) so now I’m really excited to have time to talk to him alone and stuff and my boss wasn’t helping cause she was drunk too and kept winking and being suggestive about me giving him a ride she was like “be nice to him, be gentle with I’m if you get some, yall would be so cute together, he is a sweet boy he needs a good girl like you “ and all my coworkers are egging this on, so I leave to take his drunk ass home, and when we get there he asked if I wanted to smoke before I headed home, I said yes duh. So he rolls up and we get to talking and you know wtf he says to me “do you know if (girl we work with) likes me?” My heart sank so fast and my crush died right there because I knew it was a waste of time, me and this girl were nothing alike, We’ll call her B. B(f20 at the time) is a short darkskinned girl with a really nice body and a pretty face. I knew if she was his type he’d never look at me that way. Now he’s where things get messy kids, put on ur overalls. Me, B and another girl at work were kinda cool, tho I wouldn’t really call us friends (B and the other girl were really good friends, they hung out outside of work) anyways one day the third girl had asked me and B if we thought “Leany” was cute, I said yes, third girls said yes, B said no. “He’s not my type” (mind you B likes older, toxic, emotionally manipulative type men. She would say shit like “Leany just doesn’t get my 🐱wet” she was mainly dealing with this 40something year old man that she swore she was in love with, she would literally say she knew he was only with her for her body, but she still loved him and was convinced they’d be together forever, she even tried to talk me into having a threesome her and him) so when he asked me that question that night I told him about that day when we talked about it. Y’all I STG I meant no harm, at this point me and Leany are friends so I’m thinking he’s tryna get advice before shooting his shot so I wanted to be real with him so he didn’t embarrass himself. But then he gets mad and is like “ oh that lying bitch she told me I was handsome” and I’m like huh??? Then he pulls up their messages and shows how she would like low key flirt with him because he was a simp and he was buying her shit, giving her weed for free, and I’m like oh shit I fucked up, cause had I known they were already talking I wouldn’t have told him that, I just would have minded my business but I was thinking he wanted to shoot his shot so I was telling him it might not work out. He asked her she wanted for Christmas and she sent him an Amazon link for some 50$ hubcaps she wanted for her car. (Keep in mind this man is drunk asf during this whole conversation) he had already bought the hubcaps, but now he is seeing that she’s running game on him he doesn’t want to give them to her, so he is trying to give them to me. And I’m like nahhh buddy, at this point I was trying to become better friends with B cause like I said I didn’t have any friends in this new state. I’m like “wtf am I gonna do with them”
he says “put them on ur car”
and i said “and then show up to work with the same hubcaps she knows you just said you would buy for her”
and he’s like “yep exactly, and if she asked about them tell her you got them from Leany”
“no dude, ur drunk asf and you have valid reason to be upset but I’m not getting in the middle of this.” He goes and gets the damn hubcaps anyways and like I’ll put them on for you right now. I keep telling him no to go inside and get sobered up, but he is not taking no for an answer😭 he’s just like “okay pop the trunk I’ll put them in there, you can put them on later.” I said “I’m not using them, if you put them in my trunk, I’m gonna sell them” he said he didn’t care as long as B didn’t have them so finally I let him put them in my trunk and we said goodnight. Time goes on, he is still being led on by B, he’s got it bad for her, and me and B are getting a little bit closer sometimes the three of us hang out together outside work. It gets messier kids, grab ur rain boots. B and her mom got into it, she moves out and moves in with Leany….. mind you I’m pretty good friends with both of them at this point, they both drink a lot and they are literally constantly fighting like a fucking old married couple. Leany is upset that B, is out hooking up with Other dudes every night and keeps telling him about it despite knowing that he has a crush on her, B is mad that Leany can’t let go of his crush even tho she is definitely still towing the line with him. I’m hearing both sides of the same story about the arguments form each of them separately with both of them conveniently leaving out things they said or did that make them look bad, I’m not picking sides tho, and I don’t tell one about what the other is telling me, despite them constantly asking what the other is saying about them. I tell both of them that they are wrong, Leany is wrong because he is only letting B stay with him in hopes that they might hook up, and B is still leading Leany on and giving him false hope so that she can have a place to stay. (Mind you they are living in his mother’s house, with his disabled uncle, and his brother lives in the garage!) so the whole house is having to deal with their drunk asses arguing all the time, his mom goes on vacation to visit her other son and grandkids she is gone for like 4-5months and during this time she gave B permission to sleep in her room. And they are still arguing all the time till things finally come to a head one night. B is not even of legal drinking age yet, but she has a fake ID so she will still go out and get drunk and drive home, one night they were both drunk and arguing and she tries to leave and Leany takes her keys and is like “no, I’m not letting you drive drunk” she calls the fucking cops on him… and tells them that he won’t give her her keys and of Course he is saying because she is drunk. She manages to convince the cops that she isn’t drunk somehow and they make Leany give her the keys otherwise he is basically holding her hostage and she leaves. Why he didn’t put her out after that I do not know, but both of them are getting worse with drinking and worse with arguing and now his mom is about to come home so he tells her for the 100th(and finally final) time that she needs to leave cause this shit is toxic and their whole dynamic is weird cause they aren’t even a couple and they are going at it like this, B has decided to join the military and is trying to convince him to let her stay till she leaves for boot camp but he’s not having it they end up arguing again and Leany say’s probably one of the most fucked up hurful things you could say to someone to her, I’m not gonna be specifics but it was pertaining to a certain type of abuse that B experienced as a child. At that point she finally decides to stop talking to him and block him, during this final argument he was literally throwing her stuff out of his house and she grabbed it and left with it but left a lot of shit behind, he says that she left his moms room a mess with dirty dishes piled up in there and even left her vibr@tor on his moms bed he threw the rest of her stuff away and cleaned the room and that was the last time they spoke. He felt like shit afterwards and even stopped drinking for a long time, he kept texting her to apologize but she had him blocked, and he even tried going thru me to contact her. but atp me and her are hardly friends because I don’t like the way she was treating Leany and B also fell out with the other girl at work that she was close with because of how she used to treat her especially when she got drunk, B would get really belligerent. I had already bowed out of their drama because they would constantly come to me to complain about each other but when I would say “yall are both shitty people in this situation“ they would tell me to shut up and mind my business so I started shutting them down when they tried to talk about each other to me. He was mad that I wouldn’t help him get in contact with her but I didn’t care, B told our boss about what he had said to her so our boss made sure to schedule them on different shifts.
Part3:(gets a little NSFW, but I’ve censored it best as I can) Flash forward some more and things have kinda blown over. Me and Leany are pretty close atp, but not too close cause I didn’t like the side of him I saw come out with B, and also I didn’t like how he always prioritized their friendship over ours, and now it felt like me and him were only this close because B cut him off. Leany decided he was also gonna join the military, but in different branch than B. She has already left by now also. And Im also thinking about taking that route and the same branch as him. He started talking to a recruiter and I said before you leave we should get together and get a drink to say goodbye cause yk, he had to quit smoking to join so we couldn’t hotbox. This is months later and he’s started drinking again in moderation. his go to is cans of Twisted Tea. So he was like yea let’s do it I’ll go the liquor store what do you want to drink I told him I wanted to try the Monster Beast, cause I fucking love monster energy drinks. So he grabbed me 2 and grabbed himself 2cans of twisted tea. By the time I got to his place he had already been drinking (come to find out he had already had 2cans, and was on his third one by the time I got there but I thought it was his first) anyways he drinks his tea and I drink my monster and I’m like we should get really lit, like do some shots, so we go back the liquor store together and buy a bottle of Bacardi rum, on the way back we passed the adult novelty store and I was like “I always wondered what was in here” so our tipsy asses go in. I end up getting a d!ldo and he gets some c*ck rings. It was buy 2get one so we also grabbed a bottle of cleaner for my toy. He payed for everything (mind you at this time I am still regularly hooking up with my ex, I actually picked that d!ldo because it looked exactly like what my ex was packing) we come back to his place and proceed to get fucked up off this bottle. of course he is miles ahead of me cause of those 2cans I didn’t know about, and we both open our new toys from the shop. He asked me how far In my mouth I could fit mine and I’m like “mf how far can you fit it” and he’s like you show me first and I’ll go next and I just wanted to see him put a dildo in his mouth so I went first💀 I could fit about half of it I think but he could fit damn near the whole thing lmao, (he just has a really big mouth he said it didn’t touch his throat lol) it had a suction cup on the bottom so he stuck it to the wall and was like “lemme push ur head, I think you can fit more in there” and I’m like okay go ahead but I’m drunk so if I throw up on ur bed that’s on you” even with him pushing me I couldn’t go much further. Then he turned around with it and was like comparing it to his own d!ck with his back facing me and he was saying it was little bit bigger than he was and I’m like what? so he turned around and showed me the comparison. Y’all his thing was so pretty, lengthwise it was about the same as the toy (not fully hard btw so def longer than the toy fr) but it was much thicker. And he had shaved so I could see the whole thing and drunk me and horny me are one in the same so instantly I wanted to suck it. He left to go to the bathroom and I’m just sitting in his room wondering if I’m really about to do this, but knowing my drunk ass definitely was. Now like I said we were very drunk so when I think back on that day it’s like watching a slide show in a room with strobe lights, like I just have different scenes in my head but no clue which order or how they transition from one moment to the next so bare with me, cause all I really remember was me trying to suck him and him encouraging me to go deeper, then he was on top riding my face, but his dingaling angles upwards so that just made it harder, then we were on the floor trying to take more shots but we spilled half the bottle of rum.🤦🏾‍♀️ then were wrestling but naked on the floor laughing at some point I took a belt and tried to wrap it around his throat but it ended up wrapped around his face(don’t ask why idk why😭😭) at one point we were actually having s3x (he wasn’t the best Ngl, no hip action at all he was using his knees in missionary) so I asked for back shots but he kept going soft later on he told me it was because he was super nervous cause i had “all that @ss” and he didn’t know what he was doing 😂 then at some point he opened the door a crack cause he thought he heard something and I’m like dude close the door were naked and his drunk ass goes “this is my house I can be naked” throws the door open and walks through the house outside (backyard) to take a piss, this sobered me up so fast and I threw on some clothes rq to go get him cause we weren’t the only ones home at the time. I walk outside and grabbed his hand and as I’m walking him back inside his mom was standing in the living room, and she like “boy wtf are you naked??” My drunk ass ain’t no what to say so I dropped his hand and bee lined back to the room, then they sat out there for like 5 minutes talking and he came back in annoyed and started putting clothes on and he was asking me to go talk to her and I’m “like wtf am I supposed to say to her” and he said “could you tell her I’m not a fucking r@pist” and I’m like bruh what???? Apparently the walls are thin, so she could hear most of what was going on in the room, so from her perspective: she could hear us fumbling around in there knocking stuff over, remember I said he was encouraging me to take more of him in my mouth he was kind of aggressive about it (nothing I didn’t like, I promise) so she’s hearing shit like “you can take it, move your hand, does it hurt” and then he comes out the room butt naked and I still have clothes on😭😭😭 so yea things from her POV were a little sketchy to say the least. So I went out and talked to her and apologized for disturbing her, and said it was my idea to come over and drink with Leany as a way to say goodbye before he left for boot camp(didn’t help I had gotten the hiccups from being drunk and nervous lol). And she said there’s nothing wrong with having a drink from time to time buts it’s the middle of the afternoon and we took it to far and she told me to sleep on the couch to sober up and she got me some blankets and stuff and I thanked her. I stepped outside to tell Leany I talked to her, he was out front smoking a cigarette and he asked “did you tell her I wasn’t forcing myself on you” and I told him I didn’t get to say that cause she cut me off telling me to lay down, and he was upset that she might still be thinking he tried to hurt me. So when she came out I made sure to tell her that wasn’t the case but being drunk as I was I basically said “i know that might have sounded crazy from ur perspective, but nothing happened in that room that I didn’t want to happen” and she was trying not to laugh and he was whispering under his breath for me to please stfu💀 Anyways I came in the room to get a pillow for the couch and he told me to lay in the bed so we could take a nap, and I’m like I think ur mom wants me on the couch, and he just said “she’ll be fine she just wants us to sleep and sober up I’m not gonna make you sleep on the couch.” So we slept and woke up later that night I think it was around 11, but I’m not sure I just know it was super dark. Anyways after that day I started spending a lot more time at his house but we weren’t having s3x we really were just chilling watching anime and drinking twisted teas, my aunt and me were beefing so I was spending most of my time at his place, she was talking about putting me out and I had asked him if I could stay with him till I could afford a bus ticket back to my home town. But he said his mom wasn’t comfortable with him having more house guests after all the shit with B. And I couldn’t be mad at that. we were cuddled up and stuff and after damn near a month i was like I know better than to be laid up with man like this with no label so I popped the question “what are we” I have to be honest tho, he kinda asked first, like he was trying to sus out what type of timing I was on, but I didn’t have an answer for him so when I asked him he turned it back on me like “I keep asking you the same thing” and I’m like I feel like we’re definitely more than friends now, but not really friends with benefits cause we only hooked up once. And he was just saying “all I know is I like spending time with you” which I definitely believed because by this point I had lost my car (totaled) and he was paying for my Ubers to and to his house, and we weren’t even sleeping together tho we messed around a little bit. But we were barely even kissing. So I believed him when he said he liked having me over. And then we had a Long awkward talk about our feelings with both of us tiptoeing around the elephant in the room not wanting to be the first to admit our feelings and eventually he grinned and said something like “i know you like me” while he was sitting on the table the swinging his legs, and that made me giggle and I couldn’t deny it, and he finally admitted to liking me too and that’s when we became official. Not too long after that my aunt put me out and I his mom has such a big heart that she changed her mind about me moving in, atp I was practically living there anyways I slept there almost every night for the last month , so she could see that I wasn’t one for drama like B was. She welcomed me in, and made space for me to keep my things, she offered me some space I’m her closet and one of the two sinks in her bathroom I moved into Leanys room, by then I had left my job at the restaurant but I went back after moving in with him to make commuting easier and yea, that’s where I am currently living. We both started our process to join the Air Force, his process went smoother than mine so he left for boot camp in late March. He proposed to me on Valentine’s Day, and we tied the knot about 3weeks before he left. We’ve known each othe been friends well over a year but we had only been dating for a few months before we got married. The 4th of this month marked 2months of marriage for us, and the 24th marked 7months of being together… I know we rushed things but I love him so much. We are working on our communication skills and we argue a lot but we also are able to come together and talks things out level headed in the end. I love him so much and I want to start a family with him one day.
So now to the actual issue, I can’t shake the feeling that the only reason me and him are together is because the girl he really wanted didn’t want him back, not that there is anything wrong with moving on from unreciprocated affection, but I’m sacred that one day he’s gonna wake up and realize that he doesn’t wanna be with me and that he never did. ( I know, I know I read too many Reddit stories🤦🏾‍♀️) But lately that’s on my mind heavy, especially cause I’m still friends with B on social media so every time I see a picture of her I keep thinking to myself that’s the type of girl he really wants. I worked with him long before B started working with us, he never talked to anyone at work till she came along. And for months I was the main person he vented to about how frustrated he was that B wouldn’t even give a real chance. One day we spent the day together walking round town while my car was getting detailed and we had a really good time. I had 2 gold 1$coins, he asked to buy them both off me but I didn’t wanna sell them, and he said “okay just trade me one for a dollar and keep one and we’ll have best friend coins” like SpongeBob and Patrick’s rings. We even sung the little jingle but replaced “rings” with “coins”. But I later found out the only reason we were hanging out that day is because him and B got into an argument and she left the house and wasn’t responding to his call/texts. And after him and her stopped talking to each other I was comforting him and he looked at me and said “I just lost my best friend” and I was genuinely hurt like “I thought I was your best friend” and he just told me to stop joking cause he was really upset, after that I was honestly holding back tears cause I didn’t wanna make the situation about myself. I tried bringing this up before but he acted like he didn’t understand why I would be insecure, and it took forever of us going back forth until I finally said that had him and B gotten together in the first place me and him wouldn’t have even been friends let alone ending up married, and that every time we ever hung out alone was when B was ignoring him. He says that he is over her and doesn’t want her in his life anymore, but I’m like dude you don’t have a choice she blocked you, for a time he was even trying convince me to call her on my phone so he could talk to her but I refuse (of course this is before we got together) but now all these thoughts keep pulling up in my head and I’ve been trying to bring it up to him again but idk how, or if I even should we are supposed to be talking tomorrow but he doesn’t know what I want to talk to him about yet.
If you read all this your a real one and I would appreciate any advice you have, positive or negative feedback is welcome. I just wanted to clear my mind sorry for any bad grammar or typos.
TL:DR- my husband used to have crush on mutual friend of ours but she never liked him back, after being rejected by her he turned his attention to me and we are married now. but I’m afraid that he settled for me and one day he’ll decide he doesn’t want to be with me anymore cause he never really wanted me in the first place.