Aderall pill feelslike its stuck in throat

Finally a place where I can post these types of questions without getting banned!
So I'm sure a lot of you have seen this paper recently - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0040403908023502 - and after going through the steps and fucking up and getting DMT Oxide due to excess of oxygen while air drying (I used a fan as I was unaware I shouldn't try to speed up the evaporation) I was wondering...
Would the freebase crash out of the IPA if I just stuck that bitch in the freezer for 48-72h, as it does in STB in heptane when extracting from root bark?
The deprotection worked great, but it really deteriorated the potency, I didn't experience the "soapyness" in the throat and mouth as most people report when smoking NBoCDMT and tbh it tasted just the same as the one I have extracted from root bark, just not really as potent.
To note I'm following the already adapted process found here by runic7_ https://www.reddit.com/researchchemicals/s/lHvGgBB5Co
Fyi I'm in Europe and never had a chemistry lesson in my life, all I've learned and achieved has been through online literature and a lot of reading, so sorry if this is ultimately a regard question 🫠
Thanks for your input!

Even if there isnt any chance of me having sepsis or going septic, if someone can help pinpoint what i could have until i can get to a doctor, thatd be amazing. 19F, 171lbs, 5’5. I take a multi vitamin and Benadryl for allergies. Physical health wise I’ve been diagnosed with anemia and hemophilia since 2018, lab results from May 2023 confirmed both of those still but i havent been to my doctor since then (im horrible, my dr moved and im terrified of doctors but im now learning ive gotta get over that). Other than that and where my really bad issues start i went to the ER in mid April, i think the 18/19th because i had extreme pain in my lower right abdomen that continued getting worse and spreading throughout my stomach which got diagnosed as enter-colitis (enteritis and colitis). I stuck to the BRAT diet until i felt safe enough to switch (they told me at min. 3 days i believe i carried it for at least 5). I’d like to say ive been super mindful of my diet ever since but its already hard for me to eat anyways so when i want something, i dont really deny myself that because i dont really eat much in the first place. This is where im gonna note i have a lot of the same symptoms as gastroparesis, if any further explaination on this would help ill be happy to give it. May 31st from 2-3am i puked 4 times, no blood. I will say i took a couple of shots but only enough to feel buzzed, not drunk, i also havent drank since Sept. last year as im not a big drinker however i do smoke weed when i need to eat or else i feel sick, and before i sleep. I know both of those can mess with you gut health so i figure its worth mentioning. But the whole reason i felt so nauseous anyways is because i felt like i needed to shit so bad but i just couldnt so i guess puking was the second better option for stomach relief. For a while it truly did make my stomach feel better id say around 2pm (May 31st) is when my stomach started bothering me again like it does almost daily, it gets hard for me to eat or be hungry, i also do think shaking thing a lot that could either be low blood sugar or what i mainly think it is, POTS, and i just dont shit a lot (partly why i think i have gastroparesis is literally because i do have delayed gastric emptying) even when i do its never like a normal one and its almost always at least somewhat painful to do so. As of right now, June 1st 3am, the whole left side of my stomach hurts like hell, when i used the bathroom earlier there was bright red blood in my stool, and this is going to sound dramatic as hell but it feels like my stomach acid it actually burning my stomach, chest, and throat. I wont go into a lot detail unless needed but id also like to note from 2019-2022 i had multiple eating disorders mainly starving myself and purging where i abused laxatives like crazy (would eat a full laxative chocolate bar in a day). Ive also overdosed on ibuprofen, tylenol, midol, and benadryl and didnt go to the hospital afterwards id just make myself throw up. Not to pity party or make this dark but as ive grown up i’ve realized that i probably brought all these stomach issues upon myself as all those things are fucking horrible for your stomach! Any and all help is appreciated and if any questions need to be asked i will literally answer anything. if anyone thinks its ok to wait longer ill probably just make an appt with my pcp but if its something urgent ill go to first care or if pain or blood in stool get too much worse ill definitely go to the ER.

My boyfriend(31M) and I(34F) have been together for over 3 years. We live together and have discussed marriage and starting a family. For the past two years, he has struggled with addiction. For as long as I've known him, he has had an alcohol problem but a series of events at work caused him to eventually start taking pills. At the worst point, he was taking upwards of 10 pills a day.
It caused financial problems and he would tell me he wants to stop taking the pills. After threatening to leave on several occasions, he finally decided to quit and did it cold-turkey. It was a stressful few weeks but we worked through it. Unfortunately he relapsed. I got extremely hurt and angry and wasn't sure how to voice my feelings, so I resorted to hurting him, as I was feeling hurt. I called him a loser and an addict and that he would never change.
We eventually worked it out but then he lost his job. He chose to take that time during unemployment to focus on his sobriety and I couldn't be happier for him. But he was never truly sober. He had cut out the pills but never the liquor, drinking a pint to two pints a day. He was spending all of his unemployment money on liquor and cigarettes, and never contributed to the rent. I voiced my frustrations with him but also felt that I needed to let him have his time. He was still struggling with his addiction and I felt guilty for all the name bashing in the past.
But once his unemployment ran out, he kept coming up with excuses to not find a job. He was smoking weed occasionally so he knew he wouldn't pass a drug screen for a job. His grandmother passed away and he needed to go to Florida to help with the funeral plans. I supported him through everything. I made sure to pay all of our bills and have food on the table. Oftentimes, I would come home from work and he'd still be sleeping, which would cause an argument. I'd resort back to the name-calling, i.e. loser, deadbeat, bum, etc. I always felt bad after the arguments. I love this man with my whole being. I want a life and a future with him but I feel like I was in this alone.
I finally worked up the nerve to leave. He started a new job and called out one day during his first week. I was absolutely livid. It had been almost a year of me paying for all the household expenses, while he focused on getting his life back on track and sober. He told me he was tired. I lost it. Again called him a loser and a deadbeat and no good for nothing. And I left. Went to my parents. Part of me just wanted him to see what it would be like having me gone. Part of me wanted to actually leave. But I love him and I want to work it out.
He now is telling me that it's over. That he's tired of all the emotional and verbal abuse I have forced on him the past 2 years. He's tired of me going to my parents every time we have an argument. He's tired of me confiding in my friends about his addiction. He says we could've worked it out had I stayed, but I chose to leave the house and leave him and go to my parents.
I told him maybe we just need some space and we can come back in a few weeks and figure out what we want, maybe even see a counselor, but he says that he doesn't believe in therapy and just wants to be done.
Now I can't help but feel guilty and ashamed that I left. Perhaps I should've stuck around a little longer and trusted that he would be okay at his job. Perhaps I shouldn't have called him all those names all the time. Perhaps I should've just been there for him.
Tl;dr- addiction and name calling destroy relationship

i've "known" i was trans since i was 14 (~6 years ago), which you'll probably be able to tell by my post history lol. you're welcome to look but it's wayyy too cringe-y for me. when i first discovered this about myself it took up a lot of my mental capacity. i was far too young to understand the ramifications and kinda just, did nothing? i repressed those feelings but--surprise surprise--they hadn't gone anywhere. flash forward to ~9 months ago and i have a dream which, sparing the details, reminded me that this isn't really something i can just brush off. and transitioning has been an almost constant thought in my head since.
i really find myself more jealous of trans girls than cis girls. saying fuck you to the hand you were dealt and metamorphosing into a beautiful broad is one of the most badass things you can do. and i know that could be me, and by god do i want it to be me, but it's just... really scary.
i'm pretty happy(?) with my male body, all things considered. of course everyone has self image issues to some degree, but i honestly don't experience much dysphasia, besides some of the more "stereotypical" transfemme dysphoria areas. i just feel as if i'd be "wasting" myself transitioning. if i could look into a magic mirror and see what i would look like post-transition and know that i would pass i'd be on HRT by yesterday, but i'm definitely no snow white.
enough rambling, here's my thesis statement. i'm at a crossroads between a red-pill shaped door in which i stay male, content, but ever yearning, secretly seethingly jealous of women. or a pink-pill shaped door which i either come out a girl (yay!) or something in between. i feel like an ass saying that out loud, it's probably transphobic, but uhhh i just really need to get it off my chest.
i just feel stuck. i know i cannot live my life i a constant cycle of "oh god im trans" -> "okay well there's no way i can transition." -> pretend to not care for years -> "oh god im trans", but the alternative doesn't give me much hope.
i apologize if this was a bit ramble-y. it was basically just a stream of consciousness, so if you'd like clarification please ask. i'm an open book. happy pride and have a good one girlies

Something grabbed my leg at the pool.
I was on my last lap—just doing a leisurely breaststroke—when massive fingers wrapped around my thigh and dragged me down.
I squirmed and tried to get away, but the fingers were wrapped tight. They had some form of suction cups. My ensuing struggle attracted the attention of the lifeguard. As soon as he came to my aid, the massive fingers let go.
The guard believed me when I said that something had caught my leg. He inspected the area. But all he could find was a pink plastic wristband.
“That’s not what pulled me down,” I said.
He shrugged and put on the wristband.
***
In the locker rooms I swear I could hear something walking around, making large, squishy, plodding sounds. I stayed hidden in my change room, waiting for the sounds to stop.
From beneath the change room curtain I could see wet footprints. I could literally see large, towel-length footprints appear on the ground—out of nothing.
Of course it freaked me out. And of course I gasped out loud.
Before I knew it, the curtains opened and closed on their own.
I was cornered in the back of the changeroom.
I let out a half a scream before invisible wet fingers wrapped themselves around my face. My head was shoved against ceramic tiles.
Fear froze me completely.
A hot breath arrived, smelling like moldy fruit. Then a voice came. It was high pitched and squeaky, choking a little on its own words.
“No need to be scared. It's just me. JUMPY!”
Like a chameleon, the skin of the creature slowly solidified into gray. One of its eyes was the size of my head. I would say it looked like one of those red-eyed tree frogs, except it was nine feet tall and it could easily kill me.
It switched from holding my mouth to pressing its sticky fingers against my throat. “Remember me? Remember me?”
‘No’ seemed like the wrong answer, so I just repeated the name it told me. “...Jumpy?”
“YES! YES!” The creature jumped up and down—still holding me by the throat. If I hadn't grabbed hold of its fingers, it might have hung me on the spot.
“Jumpy! Jumpy Frog! That's me!”
I was dropped to the floor as it started to clap. The massive webbed hands created a deafening applause.
“Marie-Anne and Jamie made me when they were babies! I was their best friend!” The frog jumped onto a wall effortlessly and peered down at my struggling body. “Every day I was with them—every day I helped them!”
It was referring to my older twin sisters, who died last year in a car accident. Part of the reason I was out swimming so late is because that’s how I’ve been coping with their passing. We all used to do synchronized swimming for many years.
“But now they’re gone… They're gone! How terrible is that?!” The frog sounded like an overdramatic, sad cartoon. It teared up, and pounded the very wall it was climbing. “And now, no one believes in Jumpy!”
I was still recovering, breathing through a pinhole, but that didn’t stop Jumpy from hoisting me by the leg.
“You’re the only Whitaker sister left! You have to believe in Jumpy!”
It felt like I was speaking through a tiny straw. “Have to?”
“Yes! Can’t you see? I’m fading! I used to be green for frog’s sake!” Jumpy shoved its forearm against my face. Some of the gray slime stuck to me.
“If you don’t believe in Jumpy … I’ll die! And I don’t want to die!”
The frog crawled to the ceiling and dangled me by the leg, high above the marble floor. “You have to believe in Jumpy! You HAVE to!”
If I landed in the wrong way, I could easily break my neck, or skull. I forced myself to sound happy. “I believe in Jumpy, I believe in Jumpy.”
For the first time in the entire encounter, the creature treated me like a porcelain doll. I was gently lowered to the floor, and then patted on the head.
“Good. Keep believing in Jumpy. Think about Jumpy every day.” The frog made a gagging sound, then leapt back to the ceiling, leaving wet marks along the wood. “And if you stop believing in Jumpy, don’t worry … I’ll come back to remind you!”
The frog smiled in a way that made its giant eyes bulge and look in two opposite directions. I thought for a second it had a tongue lolling out of its mouth, but I peered closer, and could make out a human hand in its lips.
A human hand with a pink wristband.
Jumpy slurped it up.
***
Since that encounter I’ve basically been in a permament state of fear, praying that Jumpy never visits me again.
I’m an animator so drawing is a hobby of mine. I’ve drawn countless sketches of Jumpy and left them around my house, my work, on my phone, etc. Not a day goes by without me seeing a picture of that frog.
I believe I’m fulfilling my promise. I’m thinking about Jumpy every day. But I also haven't slept properly in like … months.
I’d like to stop thinking about the frog. But that also sounds terrifying.
I’m pretty much forced to think about my worst fear all the time.
Its wearing me down. I’m so exhausted…
What am I supposed to do?

Hello, this is my first post here as I've recently just been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis about 3 weeks ago. I just got my medicine to help me go into remission but I am having trouble swallowing it. The pills are pretty big and they're capsules, and everytime I try to swallow them I either throw them up, or I get this feeling that they're stuck in my chest. I've tried drinking lots of water or making sure I don't take them on an empty stomach but I still can't get them down. I've talked to a doctor about it and they've done xrays and I've had an endoscopy done but they don't see anything wrong. They say that it's probably just a feeling I'm having and that I'm not used too taking such big pills. I really wanna get better as I've been in an out of the hospital so many times now and I'm just tired of being in so much pain. I'd be very thankful if someone can give me some tips on how to take them without feeling like they're getting stuck. I'm 18(F) if that can help in anyway. Thank you!

27m, 5' 10" , non-smokee, Latent TB, duration 1 day (so far)
I have not left the house in 4 weeks, except for a trip to the corner shop every now and then. At which I'm always the only person in there and the cashier never had signs of being ill (sniffles, coughing, no catchy voice ect). I've know them my whole life so I know what they sound like.
Well I finished uni 4 weeks ago and like I said, I haven't left the house for anything other than what I mentioned. I live with my parents and neither of them have been ill. Yet today I start to get a sore throat and the chills. How can this happen, if from what I know of.. I haven't been in any situation to catch something.
Which makes me wonder, I have latent TB.. and have just finished a 3 month treatment of strong antibiotics. The treatment ended (I took my last pill) literally 3 days ago. Could this be a flair up from no longer being on antibiotics?
Also to note is that I did not get ill the entire time I was on the course of antibiotics, but now I check my throat with a light and it's inflamed and red in areas, also noticed a polyp just behind where my tonsils used to be.
Any ideas?

My dog is 14 years old and still going strong, other than her arthritis which is still not severe. She fights me for every medication, whether I make it a fun game of catch or trick her with super yummy snacks. She’s suspicious of any new treats and sometimes even over chews cheese and bites of steak to make sure there’s no medications hidden inside. So basically I’ve come down to force feeding the pills down her throat but this is obviously not a great long term solution to do every 12 hours for the rest of her life. Curious to hear anyone’s thoughts on how to have an easy medication routine, especially since this is for the remainder of her life. Here’s what I have tried that is not working; 1. Pill pockets 2. Steak/steak fat (warmed or refrigerated) 3. Chunks of chicken (warmed or refrigerated) 4. Chicken skin (warmed or refrigerated) 5. Cheese 6. Peanut butter 7. Cheese whiz 8. Mixing it in with wet dog food

A few years ago my mother said I had psychosis, narcissistic personality disorder and my memories were 'distorted' when I confronted her about her behaviour. Now this:
Her message (TLDR 1: the gist of it is that she is saying I am bipolaborderline):
Always remember that the real you is an incredibly kind, loving, fun, joyous, intelligent person. The you that always had empathy. I have not been able to express myself or be me with you because of the explosive rage and extreme reactions that I understand is difficult for you to navigate when you interact. Nevertheless it inflicts a heavy cost on your own well being and on those who love you. In the past I used to get stuck in my own pain due that explosive anger and was fearful of speaking my mind for that reason. Now I try to move beyond that pain to try and understand what is going on for you, with all the emotional dysregulation. risky behaviours, possible promiscuity, compulsive behaviors, explosive rage, isolating those who love you, relationship difficulties and it points towards an illness that is heritable. But it is so debilitating unless you take the appropriate help. I yearn to see you but I fear deeply that anything I do or say when we meet wil be misinterpreted if you have not sought treatment for bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder ( I believe you may have one of these). Unless you seek treatment for that. Unless and when you are ready to have these conversations and be treated for this, you and your relationships are not going to heal. I know you were not born this way, you had and have a clean ‘operating system’ and this is a genetic virus that has found its way ( if it is bipolar disorder), it has to be treated. I am aware that this may throw you into a rage again or disappear on me. But I would rather take that risk if there is even a minute chance to get you to seek help for this because the most painful fallout of this is the intense pain it causes you and the struggles with your own life. Know that I love you. I am here to support you. And meeting with you before you get treatment for this may not help you and me as well as we may get emotionally wounded again. So I am proposing that we meet when you are ready to get treated (maybe you already have) or have these conversations for me and you to feel mentally safe to speak with each other. That means regulating emotions when interacting. I would not want either one of us to have an emotional outburst on my birthday. That means we need to start having healing conversations and being emotionally regulated before we meet. So that is the real reason behind my decision. Remember, within you is this kind and beautiful person. We all have broken parts. Mental health issues are no longer a taboo or something to be ashamed of. I love you. Mum
--------end of her message
My response (TLDR 2: I think she's crazy):
Explosive rage?
Says the woman who put her hands around papa's throat.
Says the woman who beat the life out of her kid son for having anxious ticks
Says the woman who screamed like a hyena at a boyfriend who flirted with other women instead of just leaving. And didnt you meet this man when he came in for counselling to fix his marriage with his ex wife?
Says the woman who dragged her 12 year old daughter on the floor by the hair
Says the woman who fought with all her boyfriends kids, including a 4 yo, because she can't stand the idea of not being centre stage in her relationships
Says the woman who diagnosed her son, ex husband and daughter of narcisstic personality disorder, psychosis and now bipolar
Says the woman who harassed her 80 yo father about how much money she was going to get from him in the will while he was ALIVE because the thought of her sister getting more was intolerable.
Says the woman who tried to coerce her completely normal bodied daughter to get her stomach stapled.
Says the woman who obsessed over her weight and diet for so long and forced her teenage daughter to as well so she could have someone to project on.
Says the woman who practiced as a psychotherapist for years with a qualification in hypnotherapy and got angry when clients snooped around to find out about her qualifications.
Says a woman who brought children into an already failing marriage, cursing us to years of discord because that's what she thinks is normal.
You're insane. The only reason you can't be 'you' is because your constrained by the boundaries I've set up that prevent you from wrecking my life.
I didn't want to talk about my mental health because you won't like the diagnosis.
It's PTSD. From growing up with parents that never thought about whether they were fit to be parents and brought us into their miserable marriage.
We all need to keep a steady job and aim for something in life so I am obviously going to do whatever it takes to pay the bills, depressed or not. My friends are my family.
I don't need to diagnose you of any disorder to know why we are estranged. Nor do I have to rely on one to make excuses for the past.
This was a mistake. Back to no contact we go. I'm relieved we are not seeing each other. Honestly, who needs enemies with a mother like this.
-------end of my message
I've been in therapy for 5 years now and I always think I'm over her but it never really ends.
TLDR 3: She's been 'diagnosing' me since I was born. No therapist I have seen has ever mentioned bipolar but she's always making me question reality.

38F 5'5", 150 lbs, non smoker, United States. Duration one day.
This morning I woke with a stuffy right ear, after fighting what I think was a light case of flu (I'm vaccinated) this week. I did not have any congestion really, just a sore throat, dry cough, chills and fatigue. I also had some conjunctivitis in my right eye that seems to have been viral and not responsive to antibiotics.
So all of that was going away and getting better until this morning. I am not congested except for my ear. Over the course of the day it got worse. I took Mucinex, Sudafed, Aleve and Flonase in an attempt to get it unclogged, but it just got worse. I used swimmer's ear drops as the pain grew even worse. Finally around noon it got bad enough I did a telehralth appointment. They said nothing they can do without looking (why was earache on your menu then 🙄), so I make an appointment at a Minute Clinic. By this time it is abaolutely excruciating pain.
When I get examined at 3:30, my ear canal is so swollen she couldn't see my ear drum. To be safe, she gave me antibiotic drops and pills, and told me to take both Tylenol and Advil. I do all four ASAP and after a short nap felt a little better. My ear started crackling, which seemed like a good aign. Got my kids to bed and started feeling bad again so I took more Advil and another dose of the antibiotics. Been lying awake with tinnitus and pain until midnight, took more Tylenol.
I am still wake ful and ouchy. I may be panicking at this point but my other ear feels like it might be starting to clog.
Is this some kind of virus? Do I need steroids? I am a working mom and I have not gotten as much rest this week as I would like, never do. I am sure my immune system is run down.
I just want this tinnitus to stop and a clear ear so I can take care of my kids this weekend. They are so mad at me for being to sick to go to the pool all week. :(

So my voice had been gone and I can’t hit the Adele notes. I can still sing but at a low voice but as soon as I try to sing loudly my voice can’t even reach that and I have to cough or clear my throat…
Thing is I went to an EMT already about 2 weeks ago and he said everything looks fine..
My throat has a pain in it most the time not even when I’m just singing but the pain is there when I’m not even using my voice for even speaking or anything.
I have a hoarse voice and sometimes when I sing my voice won’t come out idk how to explain it but also my voice cracks at loud singing parts..
EMT says it doesn’t look damaged. He only checked my ears, mouth, and he stuck that long camera down my nose to see inside my throat..
NOTE: people that have had this report losing their voice completely not being able to talk AT ALL, but this hasn’t happened to me.. also never had a fever
It’s been MONTHS now and I just wanna get back to singing again 😞😞

32F , kienbocks, hashimoto’s, POTS, raynaud’s, PCOS, ADHD, anxiety, depression. I take guanfacine, Wellbutrin, and levothyroxine.
For 3-4 years now I am getting small bits of food such as ground beef, rice, or even crushed ice caught somewhere in the top front of my throat. Swallowing water or more food does not help it go down and I have to get a drink which helps sometimes - otherwise I am able to cough it out. Sometimes it takes a while.
It’s really embarrassing because it happens often throughout the day. Tonight one of my pills (chewable aspirin sized) got stuck there and started dissolving which was miserable, leading me to come here.
I have had a swallow study done two years ago and they did not see any “pockets” that would cause this. I’ve been trying to ignore it and just live with it, but It’s getting worse, and I’m not sure what else I can do or check as my doctor was stumped when the test came back clear.

26 female. Major diagnoses: congestive heart failure as a result of illness (covid) from 2022.
Smaller diagnoses: chronic migraines, some mental illness.
I take a slew of meds for heart failure and depression/anxiety; I’ll provide a list if someone thinks it’s relevant.
May 15th, I started a dry cough. Symptoms worsened over the next few days (the usual: runny nose, sore throat, coughing horribly, fever, shortness of breath) until I finally went to the ER on May 19th. They said I had pneumonia and told me to come back on a hair trigger if I felt like I was getting worse. They administered doxycycline via IV and gave me two azithromycin pills; sent me home with a prescription for six more azithromycin to be taken once a day, along with a script for an albuterol inhaler.
That said…my dad had a nebulizer breathing treatment machine thing and tubes of albuterol for it. He hasn’t used it in a while so he sterilized it and gave it to me because I was having such a bad time trying to breathe that first week. I’ve done 3?4? treatments with it, one or two that first week (not anymore because I just never felt like cleaning and setting it up each time, I felt that bad), and 2 in the last two days when my mom forced me to bc by the end of the day I’m still struggling to breathe.
I really should have gone back to the ER, because I DID get worse in those few days after leaving the ER, but I did not want to be admitted to the hospital after what happened last time. Looking back I wish I had; these last couple weeks have SUCKED.
I’ve since improved, but still been coughing pretty frequently and having a runny nose. This entire time I’ve been coughing up mucous that’s varied from clear to yellow. I’ve also been sneezing up very thick yellow or white mucous.
This morning, after doing an albuterol breathing treatment last night, I coughed up more mucous. For the most part it was clear, but I saw some flecks of blood, which was odd. A little bit later I coughed so more up and there was still some blood flecks. No big deal, whatever, I’ve been able to breathe pretty well today.
However, it’s late now and I just coughed up so more mucous with a significantly more prominent blood spot in it. The mucous is pretty obviously pinkish red with a couple of flecks of bright blood. It was significant enough that I could taste the iron when it came up.
Should I be worried or is this normal? The ER doc didn’t really tell me what to expect as far as recovery goes; I think he expected me to come back…

24F, vaginal dermatitis from over medications a yeast infection a month ago (antifungal cream, boric acid and oral antifungal pill)
Hello,
A bit of context here – about a month ago I was sick with the flu and got a yeast infection at the same time. I attempted to treat it with antifungal cream, which didn’t work. Then I use boric acid. This unknowingly caused irritation, making me think my yeast infection hadn’t gone away. This lead me to take oral antifungal pills from the pharmacy.
This caused vuvlar dermatitis which I am waiting for a specialist appointment as it is still something I’m dealing with.
Yesterday I went back to the doctor because I had strep throat. I was so hesitant to take antibiotics because my vagina has already been through a lot and is not fully recovered and I did not want to induce another yeast infection. I took the antibiotics because the strep throat was getting really bad.
I am wondering if I use the antifungal cream I have to prevent any kind of infection from StArting. But I also don’t wanna irritate the dermatitis anymore with additional medication even if it’s just a Cream. Because that is how it caused the problem. I also don’t wanna have another full on infection either and have to treat that. What is the best thing to do? Should I just wait it out or should I use antifungal cream in the meantime?
I’m currently just using coconut oil on my vagina as I have been using it for the dermatitis and it gives me relief and was okayed by my doctor. I am also taking probiotics and eating a lot of yoghurt while taking these antibiotics.

I bought a thing of gold peak an hour ago and there's something powdery in it. I can't see it but when I drink it there's something that gets stuck in the back of my throat.
It's not expired till next month. Is it bad?

It was one of those warm summer nights that left the air thick and humid, making it hard to breathe. The windows were left open in hopes of catching any kind of breeze. I Tarun Pratap Singh, a 20-year-old young boy with a muscular build and chiseled jawline, was lying in my bed. I was naked, as I often was when I slept and was tossing and turning in an attempt to get comfortable.
Sonam, my 18-year-old younger sister, had just gotten out of the shower. She was freshly clean and felt the sweat starting to build up on her skin again. Her long, black hair was still damp and stuck to her back. She walked over to my room to grab a fan, hoping it would help cool her down.
Sonam quietly opened the door, not wanting to wake me if I was asleep as we love each other like other bro and sis usually do. She looked over and saw me lying there, completely naked. She was nervous and a little bit scared as she never saw me like this until we were children. Sonam couldn’t help but stare at her brother’s body. She had never seen a man naked before and my body was perfect. my muscles were toned and defined, and my dick was long and rock-hard. At first, she was nervous and scared to see me like this. But later, she felt her pussy getting wet as she stared at me.
I woke up to find Sonam my younger sis standing in my doorway, staring at me. I was confused and slightly embarrassed too, but I couldn’t help but feel aroused. I had never seen my sister like this before, and it was turning me on. Her eyes were continuously staring at my long, fair, soft and rock-hard cock. Oh yeah! I almost forgot to mention that I often shave my dick from time to time so I can keep clean and hair free my dick.
Anyway, back to the story. Sonam walked over to the bed, still staring at my body and indeed my cock too. She sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch my dick. I let out a soft moan as she started to stroke my dick. I couldn’t believe what was happening, but I didn’t want it to stop her.
Sonam leaned down and quickly took my dick in her mouth like she was eating a banana. She swirled her tongue around the tip and sucked it deep into her throat. I let out a loud moan as she started to deep-throat my dick. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to have my sister’s mouth on my dick.
I then reached down and grabbed Sonam’s hair, pulling her closer to me. I started to fuck her mouth, hard and fast. Sonam gagged and choked, but she didn’t want me to stop. She loved the feeling of my dick in her mouth and she wanted more. Within no moment I was ejaculated in her mouth. I couldn’t believe that she drank all of my semen even if it was her first time.
I pulled Sonam’s head off my dick and pushed her back onto the bed. I climbed on top of her and started to kiss her neck. Sonam let out a soft moan as I started to suck on her neck. She could feel my hard dick pressing against her pussy, and she wanted me to put it inside of her pussy.
I reached down and started to rub Sonam’s clit. She let out a loud moan as I started to finger her. I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, and I knew she was ready for it.
I positioned my dick at Sonam’s entrance and started to push inside of her. She let out a loud moan as I started to fuck her. She also felt pain as I tiered her virgin pussy. But she said that It felt so good to have me inside of her, and she couldn’t get enough.
I started to fuck Sonam harder and faster. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me deeper inside of her. She could feel herself getting close to orgasm, and she didn’t want it to stop.
I reached down and started to play with Sonam’s nipples. She let out a loud moan as I started to pinch and twist them. It felt so good, and she could feel herself getting closer and closer to orgasm.
Sonam let out a loud moan as she came. I could feel her pussy tightening around my dick, and it felt amazing. I couldn’t hold back any longer, and I came inside of her.
I pulled out of Sonam and collapsed onto the bed next to her. We both lay there, trying to catch our breath. Sonam couldn’t believe what had just happened, but she knew she wanted more.
I looked over at Sonam and smiled. “That was amazing,” I said.
Sonam smiled back at me. “I know,” she replied. “I want more.”
I pulled Sonam closer to me and started to kiss her. We both knew that this was just the beginning of our new relationship. We were going to explore each other’s bodies and enjoy every moment of it. We were going to be each other’s fuck buddy, and we were going to love every second of it.

This is my ficnapping of The Power of Forgiveness by u/Espazilious. If you're here and you haven't read it yet, (why?) do it now! Anyways, here it is.
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Memory Transcription Subject: Dan Hayes, Human Resident of Venlil 4
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Date (standardized human time): January 24th, 2137
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I woke unpeacefully, jolted awake by the doorbell going off. I stared at the ceiling for a good few moments, trying to banish the dreams that weren’t fading quickly enough and hoping whoever it was would go away. To the annoyance of my sleepy mind, the doorbell rang again.
I grumbled and yanked the blankets off me. Damn was it good to sleep in my own bed without an alien squeezing my lungs for hours. Speaking of, Sparci wasn’t in sight. The Farsul must have scampered off while I was still sleeping.
I groggily ambled around to the front door and unlocked it. Outside was a Venlil with an, admittedly, adorable little uniform. I looked down at the delivery person, having completely forgotten to put on my mask.
The poor sheep staggered backward as soon as they saw my face. There was also a box, markedly larger than I could comfortably carry. How the scrawny Venlil got it up here, I didn’t know. Nor did I really care.
“Hey, I almost forgot about this thing. Glad it's finally here, though,” I casually said. “You need me to sign anything?”
“U-Uh. Y-Yes. Please.” They raised their appendage with the holographic screen for me to see. I waved my finger around, signifying my identity with nought more than a single curvy line. They wouldn’t be able to tell the difference anyways.
“Thanks.” I put my hands on either side of the box and tugged, sliding the box into my humble dwelling. I pushed the door shut before the Venlil could do anything else and began to shove it further into the main living space.
“What is that?” Sparci pondered, suddenly emerging from off the couch. He must have been reading, or something, while I was still asleep. At least I don’t have to worry about him answering the door, I suppose.
“What does it look like?” I retorted.
“A box.”
“Amazing.”
“Well…” he pouted. “What’s inside of it?”
“Stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“The stuff that I have to ship across the damn galaxy and pay way too fucking much on shipping fees. All this crap is only found on Earth.”
He stood still for a moment, thinking of what to say. I waited patiently.
“Can… Can I see?”
I quickly grabbed a knife. I sliced through the tape, then slowly drew my gaze to Sparci. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“Of c—Wait, why do you say it like that?”
“Once you lay your eyes on what’s in this box, you may never be the same.”
There was a twitch of his ears. “Uhm… Okay?”
I slowly lifted the lid, pausing for dramatic effect. Unfortunately, Sparci wasn’t playing along with my foreboding box unfolding. He took a few steps forward to peek inside as I began to dig through it.
The first thing in the box I spotted was a reflective mesh in the shape of a bowl; the ideal tool to teach those damn wet noodles a lesson. Never again.
I fished it out of the box and handed it to Sparci. “Here.”
His ears perked up. “What is this?”
“A hat,” I deadpanned. “You can wear it, if you want.”
He studied me. It took all of my willpower to keep every muscle in my face straight, and by some divine power, I managed to do it by the time he took it from my hand. I quickly looked away, doing my very best to not imagine him wearing a strainer atop his head.
After pulling out some less interesting items, including some spaghetti sauce, Sparci spoke, “I thought it would be more. Um. Comfortable?”
I looked up. Oh lord, forgive me, and bless this poor innocent soul.
His poor ears were being smushed against his head by the dome of shiny metal lattice. The rim of the thing came to a rest right at the end of his snout, leaving his eyes partially hidden. At least he could see me, a little. Overall, he looked exactly as I expected an alien wearing a strainer to look.
“Yeah,” I forced a laugh back into my throat. “Works better on a human, I think.”
He took it off and gave it back to me. “I want to see.”
I spun it around in my hands, contemplating his words. It would only be fair. In a decidedly smooth motion, I flipped it onto my head, feeling the metal scratch against my scalp. He studied me, hopefully in awe, but realistically in confusion.
In a strange burst of compulsion, I tipped the rim at Sparci. “M’lady.”
“What?”
Immediate regret. “Nothing.”
“Is that a human greeting?”
“No. And don’t ever repeat what I just said. Ever.”
His ears pulled back in what I guessed to be fear, or maybe shock. “O-Okay.”
I quickly yanked the strainer off my head and threw it into the kitchen. I was aiming for the sink, but it came short and clattered to the floor in a mocking fashion.
“Anyways,” I resumed. “Let’s see what else I got.”
Before I could look back in the box, Sparci was already pointing inside of it. “What are those?”
He was motioning towards a brightly colored package full of sugary treats. “Those are gummy b-” I stopped myself. Would it be wrong to lie about what the shapes represented? Would it be worth it to see if he liked them? The answer to both questions was, undoubtedly, yes.
“They’re gummy candies,” I continued, reaching for the package. “You wanna try one?”
“Yes. Please.”
I ripped open the package and handed him a small yellow bear; the worst flavor. He took it, and while I popped a green one into my mouth he spun it around in his paw.
“What is it supposed to look like? It’s almost like a Zurulian.”
I frowned, realizing I was worried about the wrong thing. “Um. These have existed for far longer than we’ve been spacefaring, so that’s just a coincidence.”
“But that still doesn’t answer my question.”
Damnit. How do I explain this to him? A predator eating a candy version of another predator. That’s about as bad as it can get for these aliens.
“I dunno,” I said. “People just make weird stuff sometimes. Give it a try.”
He gingerly placed it into his mouth and began to chew. He eventually swallowed it, without much reaction.
“No reaction at all?”
“Sugar,” he admitted.
“Yeah, fair enough.” I put the gummy bears on the counter and began to dig through the box again. My eyes fell upon something I had forgotten I’d been looking forward to. “Alright, I think you’re gonna like this next thing I got.”
“Hm. What is it?”
I twisted the lid off and pulled off the seal, exposing the hopefully creamy peanut butter. I paid extra for this, so it better be worth it. I noisily dug out a spoon from the drawer and stuck it into the semisolid, pulling out a nice dollop of it. As I offered it to Sparci, I had to forcibly stop myself from simply wiping it on his nose and letting him deal with the aftermath.
He gingerly took the spoon from me, giving it a sniff. “It smells… interesting.”
“I did a quick look-through on any dietary limits… mainly allergies. You should be good to go but… maybe just take a tiny lick for now.” When his ears folded in that special way, I quickly added, “It’s nothing to worry about, really.”
He stuck his tongue out the tiniest amount, taking just a drop of it into his mouth. His ears twitched, and in the time I could blink he shoved the entire spoon into his mouth.
“Itsh shticky in my mouf.”
I let out a small chortle, to my own disbelief. “Yeah, it, uh, tends to be that way. I take it you like it?” It was a dumb question, but it would make him talk with his mouth full again.
Instead, he nodded, foiling my plan. When did he learn to do that?
“You can put the spoon in the sink. When you’re done, I mean.”
He pulled it out of his mouth, completely spotless. “Can I haf shum more?”
I twisted the cap back onto the jar with vehemence. “Hell no. Do you know what this is? This is Extra Deluxe Creamy. With shipping, that’s at least six times what normal peanut butter costs. Go get your own.”
“Meow?”
“It’s less cute when your mouth is full of peanut butter,” I lied. “Try again later.”
To say he looked crestfallen would be a massive understatement. I set the jar on the counter, and made a mental note to hide it on the top shelf of a cabinet. The sneaky shit was bound to try and find it at some point.
When I got back to the box, Sparci was looking into it. He pointed at something. “What are those?”
I took out what he was referring to. “Socks.”
“Sawwcks,” he repeated. “You wear them?”
“Yeah. I need socks for my shoes and shoes for my feet. It stops me from doing that,” I gestured at the small trail of paw marks leading from the front door he’d left after the storm.
He coyly lowered his ears. “S-Sorry.”
“Whatever.” I took the package of socks and threw them into my room. I had no idea where they landed. Had to keep things entertaining for my future self, of course.
I shuffled through the rest of the box, mostly innocuous items that were apparently the most interesting thing in the world according to Sparci.
After many questions and explanations and objects thrown into my room, I finally got to what I had really been looking forward to.
“Alright, these last few things I got specifically for you.”
He dropped the pair of sunglasses he was trying to fit on his face and scurried over to me. I reached into the box and pulled out the two books. I gave them a quick look-through before giving them both to Sparci.
His expression changed several times. “What…?”
“Coloring books.”
He began to look through one of them, tail flicking with eagerness. “I recognize some of these…”
“They’re both full of animals you would find on Earth.”
He was already flipping through the second book. “There’s so many!”
I smiled. “Well, I sure hope so. There aren’t many dogs or cats, or raccoons for that matter, but I think the variety makes up for it. Oh, and don’t forget these.” I reached for the last item in the box, a 48-pack of not-so-cheap markers, and gave them to him.
His eyes sparkled as he took it into his paws, flicking over each color. “These are…”
“Better than crayons,” I finished. “And I rightfully paid for them, so you don’t need to worry about that. Oh, and I hope they aren’t too… childish? The last time I touched a coloring book was… well, I guess I don’t know, but I figured one from an alien planet would be interesting.”
His eyes looked back and forth between the books and the markers, as if he couldn’t decide which one was better.
“…do you want to go color?”
“Mhm!”
He took off. It was good to see him move so enthusiastically. What he revealed to me the night before still weighed on my mind, and he was the one that had to live through it. But now wasn’t the time to think about that. It was time for the Happy, and damn if I wasn’t going to get it.
I joined him at the table as he was flipping through pages, trying to make a choice. He managed to pick a sea turtle. Or perhaps “choose” was a strong word, as he took on a more confused expression.
“What is it?” I asked.
“I just realized I don’t know what color to pick.”
“Oh. Well, I guess I could search up a picture or a video of one. Or maybe you could color it what you think is right, and we can compare after.”
“Hmmm. The second option. But can you tell me what kind of animal this is? It doesn’t look like any of the ones from your videos.”
“It’s a sea turtle. They’re reptiles, and they spend most of their time in the ocean.”
His ears drooped. “The… ocean.”
Oh. Of course. The Archives.
“There’s plenty of kinds of turtles that live in freshwater, like rivers and lakes. If you want to color it, do it. Nothing else should matter.”
“I… guess you’re right.” He thought for a long moment before his gaze settled back on me. “Do you… want to color something?”
“Sure. Why not.”
He passed the other book to me and began to dig through the markers. He settled on orange, which I of course would not weigh in on. If anything, I was curious what he thought a turtle might look like. Plus, I would get to see what his reaction would be to seeing how the real thing compared to his colors.
I decided to pick a random color and flip to a random page. Filling in a bunch of smaller shapes to create one larger shape wasn’t exactly the most exciting thing. Although, an alien coloring book would certainly be more interesting. Maybe I should’ve looked into getting a coloring book from one of the local stores. What would aliens decide worthy of coloring?
My random choice left me creating a grass green moose. Earth grass, that is. Not some weird purple alien stuff from God knows where. Sparci was already diving into one of the turtle’s now orange flippers.
“You have any music on your pad you might wanna listen to?” I asked, the silence slowly becoming loud.
He stopped coloring and looked up at me, his brows furrowing and ears tilting back. “I’m, uh, not sure you would enjoy it.”
“You listened to me ramble on about Esoterica for a good two hours. I can at least repay the favor. Plus, I’d like to think that I’m pretty open to new music.”
He thought for another moment.
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Advancing transcript by ≈50 minutes
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“Oh! This is another really good one!” Sparci’s ears wiggled and his tail picked up some speed as another track came on. He replaced his marker for a different color.
I still hadn’t finished my green moose, and he was already on his fourth page. The other three he removed from the book and laid out across the table to see. There was his orange and brown sea turtle, a blue elephant with a cyan trunk, a school of fish colored to create a rainbow across the page, and was now working on a fairly normal looking cheetah.
“So how long ago did this one come out?” I queried.
He didn’t look up from his page. “This specific one came out around thirty years ago, but it’s a remix. The original came out about eight years before that. I can find the original if you want, but I prefer the remix, not that it’s worse, but I think the different bassline and effects they added make it just a little more to my taste. Oh, and they also replaced one of the verses with a new portion by a different singer, and it’s a lot catchier, and they manage to do that all while keeping the feeling of the song the same.”
I nodded along to the quick beat, but the translator left something to be desired. The lyrics talked about the incredulous nature of giving a ground mammal wings to fly, or something. The instrumentals were catchy enough, a blend of strings and synths. It was almost like listening to a foreign pop song.
“It sounds… kinda similar to something. Is-”
“It’s part of the same album as Teleport, so also the same artist. But like I said, it’s also a remix.”
“Ah, that explains it.”
I still couldn’t get over just how much he could talk when he was prompted with a set of ears and something he liked. And that wasn’t even mentioning that he had talked for nearly seven hours straight the moment he got his pad’s data back. Getting that worked out was probably the best thing that anyone could have done for him. It was good to see him like this. Enjoying himself.
I finished up the final details on my green moose. By stroke of my random color choice, it had bright red antlers, even though I wasn’t exactly going for a holiday theme.
I spun the book around to Sparci. “What do you think? Is it fridge-worthy?”
He slowly pulled his head up even as his eyes lingered on his page. Once he finally finished filling in the shape, he looked over my page. He stopped wagging his tail to the beat of the song. “What is that?”
“A moose.”
His ear twitched. “That’s what it looks like?”
“Hey, I didn’t judge your coloring.”
“That looks nothing like the other animals I’ve seen.”
“What did you expect? I chose random colors.”
The other ear twitched. “But aren’t you supposed to know what they look like?”
“First of all, that’s very prejudiced of you. Secondly, it was a lot more fun this way. Here, I’ll show you what an actual moose looks like.”
I pulled out my pad and quickly looked for a picture. A moment later, I had it pulled up and Sparci was looking at the animal with awe.
“That one’s brown,” he commented.
“Correct.”
“Its head things are big.”
“Yep. I should also mention that they’re huge. Like, as tall as I am, and about five times as heavy.”
His eyes went wide. “How big is its body!?”
I resisted the strong urge to slap my forehead. “No, it’s body is as tall as I am. Its antlers put it a little bit higher.”
His shock died down slightly. “Oh. That’s still huge.”
“Wait until you learn about the elephant you colored.”
His eyes darted between his colorings. “Wha…?”
I stuffed my pad away. “Welp. I think I’m done coloring. And I’m also hungry. You want some questionable fruit goop oatmeal?”
He perked a single ear. “Uhm. Yes. Please.”
I got up from my seat and shuffled into the kitchen, picking up the strainer off the floor. I put away the rest of the things, making damn sure the peanut butter was tucked away in the corner of the highest shelf of a cabinet.
I was reaching for the oatmeal when I noticed the music had paused. I looked over, seeing Sparci standing in the kitchen.
“Do you want me to show you an elephant?” I guessed.
“No. I mean, yes, but… I…” His tail twitched restlessly.
I patiently waited.
He took a breath. “Thank you. For, um, everything.”
I shrugged. “You’re welcome. But you’ll have to thank me again soon, because this oatmeal is going to be fire.”
“You… You didn’t have to do this.”
I shrugged again, setting a pot on the stove. “I was just ordering some normal stuff, and had the thought to get a pair of coloring books. It’s not that big of a deal.”
His tail curled around his leg. “But, everything else.”
I guessed even little things could mean the absolute world to someone when they were coming back from what Sparci had gone through. Was still going through.
I sighed. “Yeah. You’re welcome for everything else, too. Thanks for sharing the music. It’s, uh, definitely alien music.” Is that even a compliment?
He seemed to hesitate for a second before coming further into the kitchen towards me. His arms parted slightly, and before I knew it he had them wrapped around me. I mirrored the motion, placing my hands on his back and gently rubbing.
There was something ever so slightly different in him at that moment, as if he was more sure of how he leaned into the hug. His warmth slowly seeped into me, starkly contrasting how cold he had been when I carried him from that alley, broken and bruised.
“Thank you,” I heard him whisper.
I simply rubbed his back and let him pull away on his own. I hadn’t even realized how quiet it was without the music.
I cleared my throat. “Alright, lemme get this oatmeal going before you get hair everywhere.”
—
A/N: Oh my goodness, give this poor boy everything I have. He deserves the world. Strainers, peanut butter, my soul, whatever. And, of course, some coloring books and a good playlist to share.
Thanks to for organizing yet another ficnapping! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for reading!

Most of us long for company, for love, for romance. Sadly, life is unfair. Some people get it, some people don't. The reasons varies. The blue pill says personality is the most important; The red pill asserts resources and self-improvement are enough; The black pill states that appearance is sovereign, and there is no changing that.
As with all things, perhaps there is a bit of truth in each of these ideologies, but they seldom hit the whole mark. Not only that, they are all so close-minded that they don't evolve, they don't adapt to new information. This lack of flexibility is a breeding ground for absurd ideas, hypocrisy and uncharitableness towards other groups of people. They almost never ask questions, for they are always so certain that whatever it may be, their answer is always the right one.
I created this space because I was in each of the aforementioned spaces in certain periods of my life, and none of them quite clicked. They always disappointed or failed to explain certain events. I never quite mingled with the incels, for their rhetoric and reasoning seemed alien to me, despite our shared burdens. I felt stuck as to whether I was or not an incel. If you consider the original meaning of the word, coined by Alana in 1993, then yes, technically I was one. But times have changed. Over three decades passed since the word was first used. Anger, bitterness and resentment turned an otherwise wholesome community malignant. Now, a plethora of negative stereotypes are attributed to the word incel. Alana tried to make a community similar to the original involuntary celibacy project, but quickly abandoned it. As a result, I was lost and felt like I didn't belong anywhere. On one hand I was lonely, virgin and unable to get a relationship, but the incels would never welcome someone like me, thanks to their aversion to the feminine; I sympathized with the femcel's pain, but their hatred for my gender would render any communication impossible. On the other, if I identified as an incel, it didn't matter what came after the 'but', judgement would follow and assumptions would be made.
No ideology managed to quite satisfy me either:
The blue pill's excessive optimism and toxic positivity didn't show results in real life. Despite me being kind, supportive and helpful, I was invisible.
The red pill didn't make much sense in the real world, once put into practice. Firstly, it has a narrow definition of masculinity, In order to follow it, I would need to sacrifice my identity to fit in. I quickly abandoned it when I saw that not every effort will materialize into results. Sometimes, hard work will not pay off.
The black pill made some sense. It entertained and validated my despair, my pain. But some things were off. I observed that the standards the black pill was saying men needed to attend in order to get attention from women were not always met in couples I saw on the real world. Sure, select individuals have preferences and pretty privilege is a thing, no matter the gender, but by and large it seemed like the black pill exaggerated and catastrophized a lot of the events, while also restricting men as the victims and women as the oppressors. I resisted this, I tried to explain these discrepancies, but my curious side always sent me asking questions in the most improbable of places, daring people to challenge my views and wanting to be proven wrong. Eventually, I realized that this ideology simply wasn't aligned with the truth and gave up on it.
And here enters this place. I decided to create it for a few reasons: The first, is that I still felt lost and needed a place to belong. Since I searched and searched and found nowhere, I decided to manifest it myself.
The second, despite leaving the black pill behind, I still feel despair, hopelessness and sadness about my situation. I didn't blame anyone for my misfortune, I simply suffered alone. I wanted to know if I am the only one having this view of their problem.
Finally, the third, I realized how many people ended up in the black pill, co-opted by the incels, simply because they had nowhere else to belong, where they were radicalized and turned into monsters. Perhaps they didn't need to end that way if they had a more welcoming place.
As for my ideology, I observed incels' behavior and theorized that they may be going through a grief process. Here is my reasoning: First, comes denial, the blue pill, the red pill, the coping. Some people are blessed enough to live in ignorance like this forever. Eventually, reality kicks in, their expectations are betrayed and in comes Anger. This second stage is where you see the frustrated people at incel forums saying abhorrent things about women - and about themselves - that I don't even think I can even repeat here. Some people stay in this stage indefinitely. It truly is a miserable way to live. Then comes bargaining, and this is where the 'looksmaxx' movement pops up. People trying to radically alter their bodies in order to conform to an ideal that may or may not be vigent in today's shallow society in the hopes that they may get success. Some may get what they desire, but for most, it will never be enough. Depression is the next stage, and where many stop. This is the place where people truly lose all energy. Some seek help, only to find platitudes at best, and judgement at worst and finally give up. A minority may find love and leave this. If you see someone doomposting, not even mustering the energy to show anger anymore, just rotting bitterly, they are in this stage. If you know the full grief process, then you know there is another stage, acceptance.
There enters what I am dubbing the "gray pill". What it says is that Hope is the root of all evil. All disappointments come from expectations not met. "Hope is an attachment to an already perfect future", as Seth Godin put it. But if you lack hope, you will fall into despair! Yes, endure it. If you endure it, you are going to continue to suffer until your mind finally learns helplessness and loses the primal fear, the fear of death. All feelings derive from fear, the feeling that keeps you surviving. Lose this, and you become unaffected by everything. What happens next is up to you to decide. If you continue living, you will find that you reached acceptance. When inconveniences happen, you will not feel angry. When something sad happens, you will not be moved. When something good happens, you will not be happy. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. The gray pill essentially preaches apathy. Yes, it sounds extreme, bleak even. It's not for everyone, and frankly having your hopes fulfilled ultimately leads a much more desirable life. But some of us have been born so unlucky, that this wish will never be granted. Thus, a permanent and drastic solution is needed. What I am going to say next is going to sound paradoxical, but once you take the grey pill, you should try to escape it as soon as possible. Exhaust every opportunity until there are none left, try everything you have the energy for. Yes, to take the gray pill is to want to spit it out. To believe in an idea is to be willing to betray it. This is because of the second idea the gray pill proposes: You need to keep an open mind. Rigidity will not serve you. You should not care about your ideas. They need to be flexible and easily transformable or replaced. Welcome anyone who may challenge your views without taking it personally. Is it a point of no return? No. But the recovery isn't easy, you will lose your feelings and will have to relearn them. That will require therapy.
About the subreddit itself, this is a place to welcome anyone who is despairing about finding love. You can vent to your heart's content, discuss your views on the world or debate a certain topic and ask for advice or help. This is going to sound counterproductive but I really hope you leave this place. In the event that something good happens, or you finally get what you desire, you can post your celebration for others to see. If you are an outsider and want to weigh in, even if just to criticize you are welcome to do so. This isn't an echo chamber. Nothing I say here is written in stone. I may change my mind about my worldview. As long you follow the rules, you can disagree on everything I say here. I am still learning, after all. Always will be.
Finally, about the future. I never managed a community before. This is going to be new, so some rules may be added or modified as necessary. If this grows, I will need help. I don't wish to see this devolve into another incel hub, so a strong and diverse moderation team will absolutely be needed. Emphasis on diverse, on gender and sexuality. It may be that I am the only one who thinks and feels this way and this community will remain empty. If that's the case, so be it.

Look, I have American friends and they're mostly pretty chill I love them, but when I see Americans on social media platforms I can't help but to roll my eyes with the amount of dumb and absurd shit people will say and they end up getting 200k likes. With the American politics rn.. people calling the trump situation rigged is so insane to me and will say anything ridiculous to push the narrative.
Another issue is guns, guns, guns, guns. Why do Americans keep thinking more guns = more safety? When that's statistically wrong with the rest of the planet but they keep being in complete denial then call other countries "a police state" because we have actual gun control, But I'm like well, I'm not worried about my child getting shot at school every single day or every single week and every single year living in constant stress so how are you doing? also one thing I hate is the lack of healthcare there is with so many people being left untreated, literally 5050 of the population is at each other's throats constantly.
The one thing that also irks me is the lack of geopolitical knowledge, it seems like Americans are so invested with themselves that they lack any basic understanding of how the world works and then they say the most funniest shit of all time because of the cluelessness.
Sports, what's funny is that they call all their own sports the "world championships" which is completely fucking stupid, I remember a basketball player saying the same thing and he was 100% correct about the NBA, then everyone flamed him under the sun because he was telling the truth. NBA isn't the world, yes it has a world of influence but it isn't a worlds championship.
The food looks way to overloaded with most places that it's hard to believe it's healthy with standards, which is why a lot of Americans are obese as fuck.
Americans when they see videos of white people on the internet they immediately think it's an American when clearly you could see UK or Aus suburbs, the way how they pronounce some words is funny, they are the only ones that uses Fahrenheit then gets confuses when the rest of the world speaks on Celsius terms.
Education system is abysmal, the system is that unfair to you guys that it's hard to view America as "land of the free".
Road rules on drink driving, I am honestly in shock how many times I have seen videos of US cops letting people go back to driving when clearly the person is intoxicated..it's absurd to me to think that at any point of intoxication makes it okay to drive even if you've been caught out they will let you drive home free. I remember a story of a US woman driving in Sydney, Australia tunnels then gets caught by a speed camera then gets a ticket delivered to her then she had a massive tantrum over it, she shouldn't come into a country and expect it to be the same rules as the US. What's craziest part is that I see a lot of Americans defending her and calling our drunk driving laws ridiculous just because WE take it very seriously because we want families to have loved ones return home as safe as possible and yet Americans think that's a problem we have? Okay...
Uhhh, Americans on social media is so toxic to look at and I can't stand it but I'm stuck having to see it all the time because most of the platforms are American owned. The rest of the world gets dragged into their shit and they expect us to understand everything about their home soil on a drop of a hat. In Australia everyday I'm starting to see more and more anti-americanism in Australian communities.. but whose to blame?