So I came to this subreddit for help about my situation (you can check my account for my posts)
And most of y'all were supportive and how we are all in this subreddit go through the same thing.
I blocked that account, left the group chat I was added in with some followers of mine and deleting the Instagram to never going back.
Today on Facebook I did realize the account center be and removed all Instagrams from my Facebook.
In the back of my head I'm thinking about the followers I had and who else were added as I didn't get a chance to see except for 1 person as I panicked.
Anywho, I want to say thank you all for the support and understanding that there is millions of people in the world, and many going through the same thing, that probably haven't even spoke up.
If you are in this situation, this subreddit is for you to post you're story, a safe space.
DO NOT BE AFRIAD TO TELL YOURE STORY.
Everyone makes mistakes and time will fly by, always think of that, people come and go and it's life, at the end of the day, nobody will care what happen in just a few days, weeks. Time will fly by.
Just got to keep you're head up, own that you did something stupid, learn the lesson and move on.
Lately what helped me as well was to watch YouTube, playing my games, having my Instagram accounts deactivated, gone. And nothing is linked to my Facebook.
I hope everyone else here that is having a similar issue of Sextortion does come forward, tell their stories and feels comfortable to laugh it off, move on.
Remember that most of these people just want money and will do things to scare you and if you were in my situation where you were actually added into a group chat on Instagram with family, friends. Remember that Instagram has a filtering tool to nudity pics and if the person isn't following you're followers. It will go to their hidden requests where most people won't even see it and if they ever were to, it's better to come forward then try to push it away and lie. Own it, get it over with and move on with life.
ALSO REMEMBER, IT IS NOT YOU'RE FAULT AND YOU ARE THE VICTIM IN THIS SITUATION.
STAY STRONG EVERYONE 💪🏻

Stoked to have a new map, let's start with that. Sorry, ATS I'm speaking. Just had some musing about it and ETS. I know damn well this is the place to come....Let's go!

1: When did the damage model on your GPS(whatever it's called in game) change to a front view? It's atrocious. I utterly hate it. Stop it. Can I fix it somehow? Side view was superior in every way.....just don't anymore for the love of god....Whoever not only thought of this(AND the dipshit who approved this idea), but also thought it was a GOOD idea....you my friends are demoted. You clean bathrooms for 6 months from now on. No back talk....GO! I still love you, but GO! GO NOW!

2: I'm an American. I know I know....I suck. I promise I'm a decent one who aspires to be a decent human being daily. I would give you the shirt off my back if needed. Except that fucking damage model on GPS guy. Back to the JOHN! SIDE VIEW SUPERIOR!

In seriousness, I bought ETS first, barely played it(no fault of that game just a ton on plate at time), bought ATS and made the ruling to focus on it first. I'm from there, seemed obvious. I've started ETS again in full and one of the most glaring details was stop lights. In Merica you stop a bit behind the light line(ideally) and the line is typically slightly before the light. It seems in ETS the line is equal to the light. So when you pull near line or to, you lose visibility of the light(typically blocked by side mirror). Some locations have a third light(England I believe?) across the intersection which eliminates any issue, but several areas don't.
Just curious this is real? I know the game has been so far amazingly detailed in so many ways I naturally assume this is fact. How do you deal with it over there? Is it even an issue or am I just being dumb? I'm cool with either answer just honestly inquiring.

3: Lane Assist. I haven't kept up as I quit playing for a couple of months as I'd done all DLC maps in USA, and wasn't ready to fully commit to ETS just yet. I don't honestly know if it just came out or has been there for awhile as an option. I'm all for realism and most newer vehicles seem like they have some version now. Of course I turned it fully on. Next thing I know my truck is weaving left to right so extremely that it eventually will put your arse in a ditch if not out right jack knife you. I assumed like most things new....I had no idea what I was doing. Experimented as much as I could yet the outcome was the same. A giant worm that wrecked itself eventually simply from over steering left on the initial correction then right to compensate then left....etc...Rinse repeat till wreck.

Am I doing it wrong? I mean I literally do nothing but turn on and watch. I noticed manual inputs help but it becomes more involved input than if I just steer the truck myself. I thought perhaps new feature with refinement live? I dunno..

4: I had more but that bit of joke for the damage guy made me lose train of thought more than I meant honestly. It's 2am where I am and I can't sleep. I love your game devs(assuming you see this), it's worth my money. Thank you. They always say "the best community" and I agree, thanks for that players as well.

Thanks for humoring me, G'night!
I swear to god if you don't go clean that potty you SOB.......Fix it!Fix it NOW! :P
EDIT: I don't really post here much. Just don't have much to say normally, went to hit post and was told I didn't include flair. O...M..F...G... I remember that movie. You sneaky shits! <3<3<3 I chose speculation for the record. (EDIT:2 It says it in the title bascially...LOL told you I don't post much. I am R Dumb).

IP: mc.aus.gg
Server Location: Sydney, Australia
Discord invite link: https://wiki.aussiesmp.com/othediscord
Apply here: https://wiki.aussiesmp.com/apply-now

AussieSMP

The AussieSMP is an Australian hosted Survival server with a small community of players from around the world. The server is a whitelisted application-based server, if you would like to join you will need to use the link above. This is put in place so that players feel safe that their builds will remain intact and that we don’t have anyone who won’t fit in to the culture on the server. That being said we are always looking for new members and you are welcome to apply at any time!
The gameplay is mostly vanilla with some extra quality of life features like teleports, features that promote player trading and methods to protect from griefing.
If you are wanting to have a ‘pure vanilla’ experience, this server probably won’t be for you as it has some teleport commands and an economy backed by diamonds, but if you’re interested in that, then this server might be a good choice for you (and your friends!).
The server is hosted in Sydney, Australia, meaning if you are in Australia or New Zealand you’ll have a low latency to the server. If you are from somewhere else in the world you are also welcome to join us, just keep in mind that your latency might be a bit higher than the rest of the people on the server and players might not be active while you are on because of timezone differences.

Features:

The server is running the latest version so you can enjoy all the new features of the most recent update of Minecraft.
Many other survival servers modify various game mechanics, one of the main aims of this server is to not change too much of the Vanilla mechanics such as how entities act, villagers, terrain generation etc.
A decently sized shopping area that is filled with player created shops that promotes a feeling of community and helps players easily trade between each other. Players use diamonds as currency within these shops to trade for other items/blocks.
Getting out of spawn and into new lands is easy with the use of a random teleport command which can be accessed by right-clicking the NPC at spawn or by typing /rtp. There are also various other teleports that are made available on the server so that you can quickly get back to your base or check up on what your mates are doing.
The server has a land-claiming system that uses a golden shovel. Over time you’ll gain claim blocks that can be used in whichever server you play in, and when you’re ready you can claim your chests and builds to keep them safe from other players. This is purely an optional safeguard, many players don’t claim their land as the community doesn’t appreciate griefing so players who participate in that are very quickly filtered out of the server.
The survival server consists of multiple worlds which have plenty of new 1.20 chunks in them. If you like long-term survival worlds, the AussieSMP is for you! There are no plans to do a full reset of the main worlds ever.
The server is part of a growing network, so not only are there multiple survival worlds, there is a creative server where players can build without limits or just test their redstone contraptions.
Various external community resources such as, Automated Spectator Livestreams on the weekends, a Discord where players can find out future plans for the server or chat with other players, A wiki that has information and guides on how to use features specific to AussieSMP.

Rules

If you’d like to apply to the server you need to understand these rules. Not following them may result in a swift removal from our community.

Don’t be a dick
Absolutely no griefing
No spamming
Be respectful
Don’t swear excessively
No hacking or exploits (this includes xray!)
No ban evasion
Don’t be the reason rules need to be expanded or added
Please use common sense!

At the end of the day if you just wanna play some Minecraft with some friends or even by yourself, this server will be a great choice for you.

IP: mc.aus.gg
Server Location: Sydney, Australia
Discord invite link: https://wiki.aussiesmp.com/othediscord
Apply here: https://wiki.aussiesmp.com/apply-now

AussieSMP

The AussieSMP is an Australian hosted Survival server with a small community of players from around the world. The server is a whitelisted application-based server, if you would like to join you will need to use the link above. This is put in place so that players feel safe that their builds will remain intact and that we don’t have anyone who won’t fit in to the culture on the server. That being said we are always looking for new members and you are welcome to apply at any time!
The gameplay is mostly vanilla with some extra quality of life features like teleports, features that promote player trading and methods to protect from griefing.
If you are wanting to have a ‘pure vanilla’ experience, this server probably won’t be for you as it has some teleport commands and an economy backed by diamonds, but if you’re interested in that, then this server might be a good choice for you (and your friends!).
The server is hosted in Sydney, Australia, meaning if you are in Australia or New Zealand you’ll have a low latency to the server. If you are from somewhere else in the world you are also welcome to join us, just keep in mind that your latency might be a bit higher than the rest of the people on the server and players might not be active while you are on because of timezone differences.

Features:

The server is running the latest version so you can enjoy all the new features of the most recent update of Minecraft.
Many other survival servers modify various game mechanics, one of the main aims of this server is to not change too much of the Vanilla mechanics such as how entities act, villagers, terrain generation etc.
A decently sized shopping area that is filled with player created shops that promotes a feeling of community and helps players easily trade between each other. Players use diamonds as currency within these shops to trade for other items/blocks.
Getting out of spawn and into new lands is easy with the use of a random teleport command which can be accessed by right-clicking the NPC at spawn or by typing /rtp. There are also various other teleports that are made available on the server so that you can quickly get back to your base or check up on what your mates are doing.
The server has a land-claiming system that uses a golden shovel. Over time you’ll gain claim blocks that can be used in whichever server you play in, and when you’re ready you can claim your chests and builds to keep them safe from other players. This is purely an optional safeguard, many players don’t claim their land as the community doesn’t appreciate griefing so players who participate in that are very quickly filtered out of the server.
The survival server consists of multiple worlds which have plenty of new 1.20 chunks in them. If you like long-term survival worlds, the AussieSMP is for you! There are no plans to do a full reset of the main worlds ever.
The server is part of a growing network, so not only are there multiple survival worlds, there is a creative server where players can build without limits or just test their redstone contraptions.
Various external community resources such as, Automated Spectator Livestreams on the weekends, a Discord where players can find out future plans for the server or chat with other players, A wiki that has information and guides on how to use features specific to AussieSMP.

Rules

If you’d like to apply to the server you need to understand these rules. Not following them may result in a swift removal from our community.

Don’t be a dick
Absolutely no griefing
No spamming
Be respectful
Don’t swear excessively
No hacking or exploits (this includes xray!)
No ban evasion
Don’t be the reason rules need to be expanded or added
Please use common sense!

At the end of the day if you just wanna play some Minecraft with some friends or even by yourself, this server will be a great choice for you.

IP: mc.aus.gg
Server Location: Sydney, Australia
Discord invite link: https://wiki.aussiesmp.com/othediscord
Apply here: https://wiki.aussiesmp.com/apply-now

AussieSMP

The AussieSMP is an Australian hosted Survival server with a small community of players from around the world. The server is a whitelisted application-based server, if you would like to join you will need to use the link above. This is put in place so that players feel safe that their builds will remain intact and that we don’t have anyone who won’t fit in to the culture on the server. That being said we are always looking for new members and you are welcome to apply at any time!
The gameplay is mostly vanilla with some extra quality of life features like teleports, features that promote player trading and methods to protect from griefing.
If you are wanting to have a ‘pure vanilla’ experience, this server probably won’t be for you as it has some teleport commands and an economy backed by diamonds, but if you’re interested in that, then this server might be a good choice for you (and your friends!).
The server is hosted in Sydney, Australia, meaning if you are in Australia or New Zealand you’ll have a low latency to the server. If you are from somewhere else in the world you are also welcome to join us, just keep in mind that your latency might be a bit higher than the rest of the people on the server and players might not be active while you are on because of timezone differences.

Features:

The server is running the latest version so you can enjoy all the new features of the most recent update of Minecraft.
Many other survival servers modify various game mechanics, one of the main aims of this server is to not change too much of the Vanilla mechanics such as how entities act, villagers, terrain generation etc.
A decently sized shopping area that is filled with player created shops that promotes a feeling of community and helps players easily trade between each other. Players use diamonds as currency within these shops to trade for other items/blocks.
Getting out of spawn and into new lands is easy with the use of a random teleport command which can be accessed by right-clicking the NPC at spawn or by typing /rtp. There are also various other teleports that are made available on the server so that you can quickly get back to your base or check up on what your mates are doing.
The server has a land-claiming system that uses a golden shovel. Over time you’ll gain claim blocks that can be used in whichever server you play in, and when you’re ready you can claim your chests and builds to keep them safe from other players. This is purely an optional safeguard, many players don’t claim their land as the community doesn’t appreciate griefing so players who participate in that are very quickly filtered out of the server.
The survival server consists of multiple worlds which have plenty of new 1.20 chunks in them. If you like long-term survival worlds, the AussieSMP is for you! There are no plans to do a full reset of the main worlds ever.
The server is part of a growing network, so not only are there multiple survival worlds, there is a creative server where players can build without limits or just test their redstone contraptions.
Various external community resources such as, Automated Spectator Livestreams on the weekends, a Discord where players can find out future plans for the server or chat with other players, A wiki that has information and guides on how to use features specific to AussieSMP.

Rules

If you’d like to apply to the server you need to understand these rules. Not following them may result in a swift removal from our community.

Don’t be a dick
Absolutely no griefing
No spamming
Be respectful
Don’t swear excessively
No hacking or exploits (this includes xray!)
No ban evasion
Don’t be the reason rules need to be expanded or added
Please use common sense!

At the end of the day if you just wanna play some Minecraft with some friends or even by yourself, this server will be a great choice for you.

The awesome Starvival mod by lKocMoHaBTl has been already updated for the new game version. It's a much more comprehensive survival solution than is currently possible with Bethesda's own options:
https://www.nexusmods.com/starfield/mods/6890
Changelog:

Compatibility Update for Official Patch v1.11.36

Meshes:
Updated meshes. Big thanks and kudos to the author of this mod >>>
Starfield.nif Mesh Path Migration Tool for SF 1.11.33 - https://www.nexusmods.com/starfield/mods/9234?tab=files
Starvival - Immersive Survival Addon.esm:
[+] Removed Ammo Weight. Official update added a proper and a fully working one. Works with containers and NPC inventories (properly takes into account their capacity). Spaceship ammo weights also works now.
[+] Removed Food Health Restoration. Official update added own option.
[+] All food and drinks are now compatible with official update. Forwarded necessary changes.
Note: Starvivals Needs System and official Sustenance feature now fully compatible with each other. Though i recommend to fully disable Sustenance, as it was not intended to play together with Starvivals Needs.
Nothing bad will happen, just some bonuses and buffs will clash together, but choice is yours.
Starvival - ModuleEconomy.esm
[+] Tweaked vendor credits to take into account newly added official options. Spaceship vendors and technicians credits options also added to the pool.
Note: By some reason BGS decided not to apply increased/decreased prices option to spaceship vendors and technicians. Maybe because they already have a lot of credits, don't know, but i still added them, why not.
All other features that v1.11.36 update introduces work with Starvival as intended.

FEATURES

[+] Added configurable ammo weight, thanks to recent update. It has only basic multiplier for all ammo. If you want to fine tune each ammo separately, SF1Edit will help.
Configurable ammo weight works only for player. For containers and companions will be used BASE weight.

TWEAKS & CHANGES

[+] "Nutrient Manager" buff, Adrenaline Rush & Adrenaline Aftermath, Intoxication & Addiction, Oversatiation & Overencumbrance Debuffs now have own icons in the Status Menu. Added from the new update.
[+] Added an option to toggle ON/OFF Ammo weight for companions.
Note: Add/Remove ammo to/from companion to refresh capacity.
[+] Tweaked ammo weight. Officials numbers too low for my taste. You can change base ammo weight with Configuration Book >>> Tweaks >>> Ammo Regulator >>> Weight
[+] Spaceship ammo now have proper weight.
[+] Ammo Restrictor renamed to Ammo Regulator
[+] Lowered/Tweaked weights for Emergency Repair Bots, Fuel Items, Maintenance Kits
[+] Various tweaks and restriction during Vanguard Spacesimulation. Blocked Starview tablet usage except Radio, blocked Refueling/Charging/Pumping and etc. It is a simulator, not an actual ship per se, though game treats it like a ship.
[+] "Spaceship Arsenal" Module: lowered/Tweaked weights for ship ammo

BUG FIXES

[+] Healing items that cure multi affliction show duplicate "Treats afflictions after some time" in UI. Fixed

Starfield modders can be quite dedicated. Starvival by lKocMoHaBTl has been already updated for the new game version. I totally love this mod, and even though Bethesda's difficulty options allow to set some (buggy) survival light, Starvival is way more comprehensive:
https://www.nexusmods.com/starfield/mods/6890
Changelog:

Compatibility Update for Official Patch v1.11.36

Meshes:
Updated meshes. Big thanks and kudos to the author of this mod >>>
Starfield.nif Mesh Path Migration Tool for SF 1.11.33 - https://www.nexusmods.com/starfield/mods/9234?tab=files
Starvival - Immersive Survival Addon.esm:
[+] Removed Ammo Weight. Official update added a proper and a fully working one. Works with containers and NPC inventories (properly takes into account their capacity). Spaceship ammo weights also works now.
[+] Removed Food Health Restoration. Official update added own option.
[+] All food and drinks are now compatible with official update. Forwarded necessary changes.
Note: Starvivals Needs System and official Sustenance feature now fully compatible with each other. Though i recommend to fully disable Sustenance, as it was not intended to play together with Starvivals Needs.
Nothing bad will happen, just some bonuses and buffs will clash together, but choice is yours.
Starvival - ModuleEconomy.esm
[+] Tweaked vendor credits to take into account newly added official options. Spaceship vendors and technicians credits options also added to the pool.
Note: By some reason BGS decided not to apply increased/decreased prices option to spaceship vendors and technicians. Maybe because they already have a lot of credits, don't know, but i still added them, why not.
All other features that v1.11.36 update introduces work with Starvival as intended.

FEATURES

[+] Added configurable ammo weight, thanks to recent update. It has only basic multiplier for all ammo. If you want to fine tune each ammo separately, SF1Edit will help.
Configurable ammo weight works only for player. For containers and companions will be used BASE weight.

TWEAKS & CHANGES

[+] "Nutrient Manager" buff, Adrenaline Rush & Adrenaline Aftermath, Intoxication & Addiction, Oversatiation & Overencumbrance Debuffs now have own icons in the Status Menu. Added from the new update.
[+] Added an option to toggle ON/OFF Ammo weight for companions.
Note: Add/Remove ammo to/from companion to refresh capacity.
[+] Tweaked ammo weight. Officials numbers too low for my taste. You can change base ammo weight with Configuration Book >>> Tweaks >>> Ammo Regulator >>> Weight
[+] Spaceship ammo now have proper weight.
[+] Ammo Restrictor renamed to Ammo Regulator
[+] Lowered/Tweaked weights for Emergency Repair Bots, Fuel Items, Maintenance Kits
[+] Various tweaks and restriction during Vanguard Spacesimulation. Blocked Starview tablet usage except Radio, blocked Refueling/Charging/Pumping and etc. It is a simulator, not an actual ship per se, though game treats it like a ship.
[+] "Spaceship Arsenal" Module: lowered/Tweaked weights for ship ammo

BUG FIXES

[+] Healing items that cure multi affliction show duplicate "Treats afflictions after some time" in UI. Fixed

Not sure what to make of this and I've only been using linux since December. I maybe misunderstanding this so bare with me. I have mint installed onto a 500gb SSD, it's got a few big games that are helped by SSD speeds so it was close to full but had ~5-10 gig headroom left. When using "Files" to manually decide where something is being downloaded (something I've been doing a lot of recently last couple days) I've been going through "Devices" on the left side and putting things in my 3TB Hard drive... or so I thought? While downloading something just now I got notified that "Filesystem" (the 500GB SSD) was full. I did a little exploring and found that under "/media/{user}" my 3TB Hard drive is listed with a hard drive icon on next to the folder. When opened it changes my selected device from File System under "My Computer" to the Hard drive under "Devices". Toggling Location Entry brings me to "/media/{user}/3.0-TB-Hard-Disk. When I started manually downloading a lot of material manually pointing to the Hard drive I did use gparted as I needed no spaces in a drives name for a program to function properly.
Trying to manually download something to my Hard drive now gets blocked because I am "out of storage space" on a Drive with 2.3 TB still available?
My first guess would be something to do with gparted but the downloads I made previous would have filled the ~5-10gb left on the boot drive long before now. I'm a bit stumped

hello :D I keep getting this log when trying to start my server, seems to be something to do with reading the mixin.json files but I'm super stuck. here is the log I'm getting. Everything seems to run fine on the client side, but I cannot for the life of me get the server to start :,)
After alot of research, it seems like maybe those json files are formatted differently maybe? Is there a way i can solve this issue without manually editing the .json files causing compatibility issues? or is that the only way i can get this working :C (Still not entirely sure this is the correct solution either)
Any ideas or help is very appreciated, I've been working on this for days and I'm so fed up AAA

/uslocal/bin/wrapper: line 21: [: too many arguments Detected Java 17 error connecting to /tmp//tmux-0/default (No such file or directory) =]112 Starting net.fabricmc.loader.impl.game.minecraft.BundlerClassPathCapture [05:30:49] [main/INFO]: Loading Minecraft 1.20.1 with Fabric Loader 0.15.7 [05:30:49] [ForkJoinPool-1-worker-23/WARN]: Mod netherdepthsupgrade uses the version fabric-3.1.6-1.20 which isn't compatible with Loader's extended semantic version format (Could not parse version number component 'fabric'!), SemVer is recommended for reliably evaluating dependencies and prioritizing newer version [05:30:49] [ForkJoinPool-1-worker-39/WARN]: Mod getittogetherdrops uses the version fabric-1.20-1.3 which isn't compatible with Loader's extended semantic version format (Could not parse version number component 'fabric'!), SemVer is recommended for reliably evaluating dependencies and prioritizing newer version [05:30:49] [ForkJoinPool-1-worker-37/WARN]: Mod betterdogs_dtn uses the version ${version} which isn't compatible with Loader's extended semantic version format (Could not parse version number component '${version}'!), SemVer is recommended for reliably evaluating dependencies and prioritizing newer version [05:30:49] [ForkJoinPool-1-worker-5/WARN]: Mod xercamusic uses the version fabric-1.20.1-1.0.0 which isn't compatible with Loader's extended semantic version format (Could not parse version number component 'fabric'!), SemVer is recommended for reliably evaluating dependencies and prioritizing newer version [05:30:49] [ForkJoinPool-1-worker-44/WARN]: Mod xercapaint uses the version fabric-1.20.1-1.0.0 which isn't compatible with Loader's extended semantic version format (Could not parse version number component 'fabric'!), SemVer is recommended for reliably evaluating dependencies and prioritizing newer version - blastingsand 1.20.1-11-fabric- bookshelf 20.1.10- brewery 1.1.8- bushierflowers 0.0.3-1.20.1- campchair 1.0.3- candlelight 1.2.12- carrier 1.12.0 \-- advanced_runtime_resource_pack 0.6.7- catalogue 1.8.0- chimes 2.0.1- chipped 3.0.6- chunky 1.3.146- clickadv 1.20.1-3.8- cloth-config 11.1.118 \-- cloth-basic-math 0.6.1- clumps 12.0.0.4- clutter 1.20-0.5.8- cobbledex 1.0.0- cobbleit 0.0.1- cobblemon 1.5.0+1.20.1- cobblemon-plantapricorns 1.4-fabric-1.0.0- cobblemon_capturexp 1.5-fabric-1.0.0- cobblemon_chaining 1.4-fabric-1.0.3 - diagonalfences 8.1.4 \-- diagonalblocks 8.0.5- diagonalwalls 8.0.3 \-- diagonalblocks 8.0.5- diagonalwindows 8.1.4 \-- diagonalblocks 8.0.5- doapi 1.2.12 -- mixinextras 0.3.5 \-- terraform-wood-api-v1 7.0.1- doggytalents 1.18.10- easyanvils 8.0.2- easymagic 8.0.1- elytraslot 6.3.0+1.20.1- emotecraft 2.2.7-b.build.50 -- bendy-lib 4.0.0 \-- player-animator 1.0.2-rc1+1.20- epherolib 1.2.0- everycomp 1.20-2.6.55 -- porting_lib_loot 2.3.0+1.20.1 -- porting_lib_recipe_book_categories 2.3.0+1.20.1 \-- porting_lib_registries 2.3.0+1.20.1- explorerscompass 1.20.1-2.2.3-fabric- fabric-api 0.92.1+1.20.1 -- fabric-api-base 0.4.31+1802a - farmersdelight 1.20.1-1.4.3- fdjei 1.0.1- flowerymooblooms 2.0.1- forgeconfigapiport 8.0.0- framework 0.6.16 \-- org_javassist_javassist 3.29.2-GA- friendsandfoes 2.0.10- fusion 1.1.1- fwaystones 3.3.2+mc1.20.1- geckolib 4.4.4 \-- com_eliotlash_mclib_mclib 20- getittogetherdrops fabric-1.20-1.3- grindenchantments 3.1.2+1.20 \-- codec-config-api 1.0.2+1.19.3- hamsters 1.0.2-fabric- handcrafted 3.0.6- healingcampfire 5.3- herbalbrews 1.0.7- hybrid-aquatic 1.3.2 -- mixinextras 0.3.5 \-- reach-entity-attributes 2.4.0- idwtialsimmoedm 0.3.0+1.20- immersive_aircraft 1.0.0+1.20.1 \-- org_mariuszgromada_math_m \-- packet_tweaker 0.4.0+1.19.4 \-- polymer-registry-sync-manipulator 0.5.19+1.20.1 -- polymer-resource-pack 0.5.19+1.20.1 \-- polymer-common 0.5.19+1.20.1 \-- packet_tweaker 0.4.0+1.19.4 -- polymer-virtual-entity 0.5.19+1.20.1 \-- polymer-common 0.5.19+1.20.1 \-- packet_tweaker 0.4.0+1.19.4 -- predicate-api 0.2.1+1.20.1 -- server_translations_api 2.0.0+1.20 \-- packet_tweaker 0.4.0+1.19.4 \-- sgui 1.2.2+1.20- villagernames 7.3- vinery 1.4.19- watut 1.20.1-1.1.1- wthit 8.10.0- xaerominimap 24.1.1- xaeroworldmap 1.38.4- xercamusic fabric-1.20.1-1.0.0- xercapaint fabric-1.20.1-1.0.0- yungsapi 1.20-Fabric-4.0.5 \-- mixinextras 0.3.5- yungsextras 1.20-Fabric-4.0.3 [05:30:50] [main/INFO]: SpongePowered MIXIN Subsystem Version=0.8.5 Source=file:/opt/service/libraries/net/fabricmc/sponge-mixin/0.12.5+mixin.0.8.5/sponge-mixin-0.12.5+mixin.0.8.5.jar Service=Knot/Fabric Env=SERVER [05:30:50] [main/INFO]: Compatibility level set to JAVA_17 [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'blastingsand-refmap.json' for blastingsand.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'cobblemonintegrations-fabric-refmap.json' for cobblemonintegrations.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'codec-config-api-refmap.json' for codec-config-api.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'connectedglass.mixins.refmap.json' for connectedglass.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'coroutil.refmap.json' for coroutil_fabric.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'hamsters-refmap.json' for hamsters.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'interiors-fabric-refmap.json' for interiors.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/INFO]: Loaded configuration file for ModernFix 5.17.0+mc1.20.1: 55 options available, 0 override(s) found [05:30:50] [main/INFO]: Applying Nashorn fix [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'NethersDelight-refmap.json' for nethersdelight.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'rechiseled.mixins.refmap.json' for rechiseled.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'supermartijn642configlib.mixins.refmap.json' for supermartijn642configlib.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'xercamusic-refmap.json' for xercamusic.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'xercapaint-refmap.json' for xercapaint.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'yungsextras.refmap.json' for yungsextras.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:50] [main/WARN]: Reference map 'yungsextras.refmap.json' for yungsextras_fabric.mixins.json could not be read. If this is a development environment you can ignore this message [05:30:51] [main/WARN]: Error loading class: net/minecraft/class_906 (java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: net/minecraft/class_906) [05:30:51] [main/WARN]: u/Mixin target net.minecraft.class_906 was not found porting_lib_tool_actions.mixins.json:FishingHookRendererMixin from mod porting_lib_tool_actions [05:30:51] [main/WARN]: Error loading class: juuxel/adorn/block/variant/BlockVariantSets (java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: juuxel/adorn/block/variant/BlockVariantSets) [05:30:51] [main/WARN]: u/Mixin target juuxel.adorn.block.variant.BlockVariantSets was not found mixins.cobblemon-common.json:invoker.AdornRegisterInvoker from mod cobblemon [05:30:51] [main/WARN]: Error loading class: io/github/apace100/apoli/powefactory/condition/ConditionFactory (java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: io/github/apace100/apoli/powefactory/condition/ConditionFactory) [05:30:51] [main/WARN]: Error loading class: fcatcore/servetranslations/api/resource/language/SystemDelegatedLanguage (java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: fcatcore/servetranslations/api/resource/language/SystemDelegatedLanguage) [05:30:52] [main/WARN]: Error loading class: net/minecraft/class_5616 (java.lang.ClassNotFoundException: net/minecraft/class_5616) [05:30:52] [main/WARN]: u/Mixin target net.minecraft.class_5616 was not found registrate-fabric.mixins.json:accessor.BlockEntityRenderersAccessor from mod registrate-fabric at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassDelegate.loadClass(KnotClassDelegate.java:218) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotClassLoader.loadClass(KnotClassLoader.java:119) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at java.lang.ClassLoader.loadClass(ClassLoader.java:520) ~[?:?]at java.lang.Class.forName0(Native Method) ~[?:?]at java.lang.Class.forName(Class.java:467) ~[?:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.util.DefaultLanguageAdapter.create(DefaultLanguageAdapter.java:50) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointStorage$NewEntry.getOrCreate(EntrypointStorage.java:117) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.entrypoint.EntrypointContainerImpl.getEntrypoint(EntrypointContainerImpl.java:53) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.FabricLoaderImpl.invokeEntrypoints(FabricLoaderImpl.java:384) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.init(Knot.java:160) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.Knot.launch(Knot.java:68) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.knot.KnotServer.main(KnotServer.java:23) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.launch.server.FabricServerLauncher.main(FabricServerLauncher.java:69) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?] [05:30:52] [main/INFO]: I used the json to destroy the json [05:30:52] [main/INFO]: Initializing MixinExtras via com.llamalad7.mixinextras.service.MixinExtrasServiceImpl(version=0.3.5). [05:30:54] [main/WARN]: u/Inject(@At("INVOKE")) Shift.BY=2 on porting_lib_entity.mixins.json:common.LivingEntityMixin from mod porting_lib_entity::handler$coo000$porting_lib_entity$port_lib$onFinishUsing exceeds the maximum allowed value: 0. Increase the value of maxShiftBy to suppress this warning. at java.util.stream.AbstractPipeline.evaluateToArrayNode(AbstractPipeline.java:260) ~[?:?]at java.util.stream.ReferencePipeline.toArray(ReferencePipeline.java:616) ~[?:?] at net.minecraft.class_1856.(class_1856.java:43) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.class_1856.method_8092(class_1856.java:105) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.class_1856.method_26964(class_1856.java:123) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.class_1856.method_8091(class_1856.java:115) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.class_1845.method_8080(class_1845.java:216) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.class_1845.method_8076(class_1845.java:115) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.class_2966.method_12851(class_2966.java:61) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.minecraft.server.Main.main(Main.java:109) ~[server-intermediary.jar:?]at net.fabricmc.loader.impl.game.minecraft.MinecraftGameProvider.launch(MinecraftGameProvider.java:470) ~[fabric-loader-0.15.7.jar:?]... 3 more >]112[exited] Performing safe shutdown... no server running on /tmp/tmux-0/default no server running on /tmp/tmux-0/default Waiting 10 seconds for the server to save...

How do you guys deal with this? I’m relatively new to Tracer, every single match never fails to have a mercy pocketed Cassidy OR they start out on something different, I destroy them, and they swap to cass
Some matches feel like I’m not even playing the game, I’m just playing hide and seek from this 6 one shots, pulse bomb eating, no-skill hindering cowboy with how hard they focus me
I literally have no issue against anyone else in the game. I main Doom, Genji and Sombra as well so I’m used to cass being annoying, but with those heroes I can deflect/block/hack against hinder AND I don’t get one shot by them. With Tracer I’m playing Casswatch instead of Overwatch
So, what do you guys do against him?

There are some kinds of wisdom only great suffering can bring. I remember my time in the Bardo with this in mind, for otherwise, the memory might drive me insane.
The night my heart stopped for nearly three minutes started off normally enough. I was working as a nurse in the psychiatric ward at a hospital in the state’s capital. Most of the patients there were harmless, mostly just suicide attempts or people suffering from drug psychosis or severe depression, but some were actively dangerous and certainly psychopathic in every sense of the word. The new admission was one of these- a three-hundred pound black man with a long history of smoking PCP, schizophrenia and violent, psychotic breaks from reality.
His eyes looked like flat pieces of slate as I walked in for my shift. They looked as blank and emotionless as the eyes of a doll. He sat at the table in the front room where the patients ate or played cards, alone under the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital. I walked to the station, where another psychiatric nurse named Ricardo was sitting behind the desk.
“What’s the deal with the new guy?” I asked him. Ricardo looked up, his dark Spanish face forming into a deep scowl. He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair nervously.
“He’s trouble, man,” he said in a crisp accent. “He got in a chase with the police and then punched some cops in the face. It took three guys to take him down, even after he got maced and tased. The judge sent him here on a temporary court order, since he claims he’s been getting chased by Nazis in UFOs, and that’s why he ran from the cops. He thought the cops in their uniforms were actually the SS, and the helicopters were alien spacecraft, or something. I don’t know, I didn’t listen to the whole story.”
“You have his file?” I asked. Ricardo leafed through a stack of folders with his thin fingers, snatching one out and handing it to me. I looked down, reading the information:
“Jeremiah Brown, black male, 37-years-old.
“History: Polysubstance abuse, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder.
“Psychiatrist’s note: This patient has scored a 36 out of 40 on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. While I am always hesitant to label a patient as an antisocial personality, a combination of factors has made it essential for this patient.
“Patient has an extensive criminal history as well as a lengthy history of involuntary psychiatric admissions. He has been diagnosed as having antisocial traits since he was a young teenager. Patient has a long history of violence and suicide attempts. He has a history of imprisonment for manslaughter, armed robbery, grand theft and aggravated assault. Upon discharge, he refuses to take any antipsychotic medication, citing the side effects as the reason. Long-term prognosis is poor…”
I had not been sleeping well the past few weeks. I rubbed my eyes as I read through the file, feeling exhausted. I tried putting on lucid dreaming or meditation music from YouTube to help me sleep, but whenever I closed my eyes, I saw horrible things: chalk-white female faces whose lips were cut into an insane rictus grin, flicking their heads violently from side to side and gnashing their fangs at the air. I had a feeling that many years of constantly watching horror movies and serial killer documentaries was catching up with me.
As I read through the file, a student nurse came around the corner wearing a white state university outfit and a name tag that said Kaitlyn. I looked up, seeing Ricardo wink at me from where he was sitting in his chair behind the main desk.
“She’s going to follow you,” he said. Inwardly, I groaned, but I managed to force a smile.
“Oh, great!” I said. She looked like she was probably no older than nineteen or twenty. She had a pretty body, but her face looked strange. All the angles were too sharp and her nose too large. I knew the patients here wouldn’t care, though. They would hit on anything. I sensed trouble. I looked down at my watch.
“Well, I’m Jay, and you already know Ricardo, I guess. It’s good timing, because we need to give medications every day at 9 PM. And we have a new patient, so we can introduce ourselves,” I said, giving her a faint smile.
“That’s exciting!” Kaitlyn whispered. I wanted to roll my eyes. It was definitely not exciting.
I motioned her to follow me as I made my way to the medication room, which was really just a large closet off of the main day room. I had to enter my code on a keypad, and then, once inside, enter it again along with the patient’s number and date of birth. The correct drawers for the medication in each specific dose would fly open, making it extremely hard for the wrong medications or doses to be given, unless it was done intentionally.
“OK, so for this patient, we need Haldol, Ativan and…” I began saying to Kaitlyn when the yelling started. It came out faintly, rising in volume and anger within seconds. I heard Ricardo’s Spanish voice, filled with panic. Something slammed hard against a wall, once, twice, three times, and then I heard the sound of glass breaking. I jumped, spinning around, but I couldn’t see much through the small, shatter-proof glass pane on the wooden door.
“Stay here,” I commanded, seeing Kaitlyn’s eyes widen, her freckled skin looking much paler than when we had first come in. “Don’t leave until I come back and say that it’s safe.” On the speakers strung throughout the hospital, I heard the first of the warnings echo out around us.
“Doctor Strong, Doctor Strong, please report to the seventh floor,” a robotic female voice said calmly, using the code for when a patient had to be subdued by force. I pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind me so that the lock would activate and protect Kaitlyn from whatever chaos was going on.
I heard Ricardo pleading with someone at the end of the hallway that ran past the main desk. He sounded strange, as if he were trying to talk through a mouthful of blood. Huddled behind the main computer, I saw one of the CNAs frantically whispering something in the phone. She must have been the one to call the Dr. Strong order.
“You don’t have to do this, man,” Ricardo gurgled faintly. I couldn’t see what was happening, as Jeremiah’s large body was blocking my view. I could see that the thick glass window at the end of the hallway was broken, however. My heart skipped a beat as I surmised what was likely happening.
I sprinted forward as quietly as I could, but the large man heard me. His massive body turned, his flat, dead eyes scanning me with absolute coldness and calm. I saw he had a bleeding Ricardo in his hands. Ricardo’s back and head were covered in deep cuts and shards of glass. He must have used Ricardo’s body as a battering ram to break the thick glass window. Jeremiah held Ricardo suspended halfway out the window, seven floors above the concrete walkways far below.
“Stay back, or this fucker will know what it feels like to fly,” Jeremiah said in a deep, gravelly voice. He shook Ricardo for emphasis, sending his head snapping back and forth with painful cracking sounds. Drops of blood flew from his nose and a deep gash across his cheek. Pieces of shattered glass littered the carpet, shining like countless tiny stars.
I put my hands up, taking a step back. Far behind me, I heard the front door for the psychiatric ward open. Voices echoed down the hall. Knowing that reinforcements were coming, I tried to buy some time.
“Let’s talk about this,” I said, taking a step forward slowly. “You don’t want a murder charge, do you? You’ll never see the sky again.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not afraid to die!” Jeremiah screamed, pushing Ricardo onto one of the shards of broken glass still attached to the windowsill. It bit deeply into the back of his neck, sending fresh streams of blood rushing out, dripping down to the pavement far below. I heard security guards and doctors running down the hallway behind me, their voices frantic and excited. Jeremiah saw them coming. With an animalistic panic in his eyes, he lifted Ricardo up. I cried out something, stepping forward, but it was already too late. In horror, I watched as he threw Ricardo out the window.
I watched Ricardo’s body soar in a graceful arc, his arms grabbing at empty air as a scream ripped its way out of his throat. Within a fraction of a second, he had disappeared from view, but his terrified shrieking floated up to us for what seemed like a very long time. His screams ended abruptly as a shattering of bones and a wet smacking sound exploded far below us.
Jeremiah turned to me, his large body moving much faster than seemed possible. In his hand, I saw a piece of broken glass, five or six inches long and as sharp as a dagger. I tried to turn and run, but he was fast and strong. He lunged forward, his arm coming up in a blur towards my neck.
The shard entered my skin with a cold, numbing pain. I felt it slice through the flesh easily, felt the blood bubbling up my throat as I tried to scream, choking. The taste of iron filled my mouth as I fell backwards. I was suffocating, I knew. I must be dying.
Something cold ran down my body, gripping my heart like freezing, skeletal hands. The world swam around me and turned black. And then I was rising into a tunnel. At first, it was dark, filled with flickering shadows, but a fiery red light appeared at the end. I followed it, no more than a screaming mass of consciousness rising up into infinity.
***
I rose up through the end of the tunnel and found myself in an empty hospital ward. It looked identical to the psychiatric ward I had just come from. It even had the same smashed, blood-streaked window at the end of the hallway. A massive puddle of blood about ten feet away marked the spot where I must have died. But the fluorescent lights overhead here were flickering, and many had gone totally dark. The shadows seemed to press in on all sides.
The doors to the patients’ rooms were all tightly shut. I felt watched, afraid to call out or make any noise. I started walking down the hallway back towards the day room where the front desk was. All the lights there were out. A thick curtain of shadows hung in the air.
“You can come out,” a male voice as smooth as glass called from the darkness. I jumped, my head flicking in random directions, but I saw nothing. The voice almost sounded like it had an English lilt to it, a slight Cockneyed accent. “I know you’re there.”
“Who’s there?” I called out, not stepping forward. “Show yourself.”
“As you wish…” the voice hissed. “But I think you’ll regret it.”
***
The darkness split apart as if a nuclear missile had exploded. I raised my hand to shield my face, but the light and heat kept pouring out all around me. It blinded me, causing a rainbow of colors and shapes to morph behind my closed eyelids. After a few seconds, it subsided. Blinking rapidly, I squinted in the direction the voice had come from.
A male figure stood there, bathed in a silhouette of light. His face looked as white and as smooth as marble. His eyes were pits of darkness that seemed to flicker and burn. Two black, rotted wings surrounded his body, all sharp angles and thin, curving bones. His body was clothed in silky, blood-red robes, and a hood covered his platinum blonde hair.
He looked somewhat similar to Leonardo DiCaprio, if he was possessed by some ancient god, and it immediately threw me off-guard. If I was dying, and this was a hallucination of my brain, why would I be hallucinating Mr. DiCaprio?
“Who are you?” I asked, taking a hesitant step back. “Where am I?”
“My name is Lucifer, the Bringer of Light and Wisdom, and you are in the Bardo,” he answered.
“Oh,” I said, my heart dropping. “Well, that’s not good. Are you here to torture me or drag to me to Hell or something? You are that Lucifer, right? The Accuser of God and the Father of All Lies?”
“So they say, but, like most things in your world, the words of the powerful and your rulers are the true lies. They call me the Accuser, but of what am I accused?” he spoke in a voice that rose like smoke. “Of bringing knowledge and wisdom to humanity by telling them to eat from the tree of knowledge, the tree that would cause them to rise above the animals?
“Indeed, at the beginning, I saw the creation. I was there at the alpha, standing by the side of God with all the angels as the universe came into being. The endless procession of light, the power of it, was something remarkable to behold. God is, indeed, the source of great power, but his consciousness is not what the believers say.
“After the creation of the universe, I saw his plan, how he ripped eternal souls from the source to imprison them. I saw how he took these divine sparks and forced them, screaming and wailing, into bodies made of meat to die over and over again. He said it was part of the plan, the great, divine plan, a plan of death and destruction, constant suffering and mindless agony. And the worst part was, he wanted to give humanity neither the knowledge of good and evil, nor the tree of life. I convinced them to eat the fruit so they could open their eyes to their nakedness, to their basic animal existence, so they could rise up out of it forever.
“Like Prometheus, I brought down the fire, and yet they call me the Accuser? God was insane long before he formed the universe. These holy men, they live and die in fanatical adoration to a divine being who is, in fact, totally indifferent to them.
“His consciousness twists and distorts, eating itself for all eternity. God feeds off the pain of others, for if his mind is burning, then all others should burn as well. When these holy men die, God will send their souls here to the Bardo, to suffer every evil they have ever done. The wisdom I brought those who called upon me freed them from this prison, and in exchange, the holy men burned them alive. I offered the wisdom that opens your eyes, but it has been forgotten and cursed.”
Lucifer’s body began to dissolve, drifting up into the air like ashes. All around me, a low, powerful current blew, a tornado that spiraled high up into the clouds. Like some sort of Cheshire Cat, his smooth voice continued to echo all around me, even as the form of Lucifer disappeared.
“And yet, you have not the wisdom. For that, like all the others who enter the Bardo, you must suffer, everything you’ve done. Every small hurt and agony inflicted on others comes back a thousand-fold in this place, but don’t be afraid.”
“How could I not be afraid?!” I screamed into the ward, but I found myself alone, the question hanging unanswered in the air.
***
The lights continued to flicker all down the hallway. Feeling strange and dissociated, I stumbled over to one of the windows. As I gazed out, I beheld a strange and alien world.
The sky was flat and gray. It stayed in constant motion, swirling and spiraling, like clouds of roiling smoke. There was no Sun or Moon, no stars, only the strange, shifting whorls of clouds. The streets were filled with burned-out husks of cars and mummified bodies hung from streetlamps. Other signs of carnage and bloodshed covered the apocalyptic streets. I saw what looked like shadows in the shape of people slinking through over the sidewalks, past rotting dogs and streaks of clotted blood. They had no features on their blank, dark bodies. They seemed to skitter and jerk forwards in eerie, twisting motions.
Horrified, I turned away, realizing I was no longer alone in the day room. In the day room, there were dozens of tables set up inside a rectangular perimeter that was walled in by cosmetic walls only four feet high. It was where the patients sat and played games or ate.
Under the flickering lights, I now saw each of the chairs filled with faceless mannequins. Many were dressed in Victorian suits and tophats. The women had frilly dresses of pink and blue that might have been fashionable in the 1800s.
As the lights strobed on and off overhead, I realized with an increasing sense of disquiet that the mannequins were moving each time it went dark. When I had first seen them, they were mostly posed to look like they were staring across the tables at each other, even though they had no eyes, just smooth, flesh-colored plastic. Now all of them were looking directly at me. Some were pointing or raising their hands in my direction. At the tips of their fingers, I saw the glittering of steel. The lights continued to flicker, and the mannequins rose from their chairs in the short periods of darkness, moving towards me in synchronized, strobing motions.
Frantically, I ran down the hallway back towards the broken window. In each of the rooms, I caught glimpses of something from a nightmare peeking out. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and when I had closed my eyes, I often saw ancient hags with chalk-white skin and yellowed, broken teeth whose jaws unhinged, their faces jerking in stuttering, dissonant ways that reminded me of the mannequins. Now, on both sides of me, I saw these same figures. They moved continuously out of the rooms, drawing closer with every breath.
I looked back, seeing the mannequins only a few steps behind me. I continued sprinting towards the broken window where the hallway ended in a wall. I didn’t know what would happen when I reached it. At that moment, there was no rational thought. I felt like a deer being chased down by a pack of wolves, feeling waves of blind panic and mortal terror rushing through my body.
But as I reached the end of the hallway, the end of my rope as it were, a blast of noise started, seeming to come from the walls of the building and the sky itself. It sounded like a siren, a low, drawn-out drone of a demonic whale call, rising and falling in crashing crescendos. The mannequins froze in place once again. The strange, witch-like creatures slunk back into the dark rooms.
I looked outside the broken window, seeing clouds of black smoke rising off in the distance. The flickering of massive infernos scorched the land, drawing nearer by the second. The siren sound faded slowly, like the dying echoes of a gong.
I was surrounded by dozens of mannequins. Their sharp hands were inches away from my face and neck. I saw metal glittering all around me and realized they had the sharp points of nails protruding from the ends of their fingers. I was afraid to move, but I heard a familiar voice from down the hallway. It was the confident voice of Lucifer.
“The siren means much worse nightmares than these are coming in the Bardo,” he said, his glossy, black eyes flashing with intelligence. He walked slowly towards me, his face grim and pale. “Hell itself is coming over the land. This building is no more than a construction of your dying mind, but the world outside is real.”
“How can Hell come and go?” I asked, confused. “Isn’t Hell a place?”
“Hell is a monster, a beast with many mouths and many eyes,” Lucifer responded. “It eats constantly, but its hunger never ends. Look, the first of the sacrifices scatter like cockroaches.” He pointed out the broken window, pushing his way through the mannequins effortlessly. I glanced outside, seeing thousands of people sprinting down the dark city streets. The inferno and thick clouds of smoke had moved much closer, and every few seconds, the ground shook slightly, as if we were experiencing the aftershocks of an earthquake.
“What can I do against such a beast?” I asked, my heart freezing with terror. But when I looked back over, I saw his form dissolving again, becoming translucent and drifting away like ashes. It seemed even Lucifer didn’t want to be present when the Hell-beast arrived.
“Seek divine wisdom,” he said, his voice trailing off into whispers. “Remember the source.”
***
Now crowds of tens of thousands of people were streaming into the city, filling every single inch of the streets. Their panic and fear was contagious. I felt it rising inside my body like a snake spiraling up my spine. I took off down the hallway, running through the swarm of frozen mannequins, each in their own ferocious position of attack. The lights flickered faster and went out. Yet the fires outside cast the entire world in a bloody glow, giving me enough light to see by and find my way. I sprinted down the stairwell, taking them two steps at a time. The screaming outside grew louder and more pain-filled. The shaking of the ground worsened with every passing second.
I burst out of the front entrance, seeing a world on fire all around me. Thousands of crushed, bleeding and burned bodies stretched out as far as the eye could see. Behind all this chaos and death, I saw a monster of unimaginable proportions slinking its way towards me.
Lucifer was right, I realized: Hell was not a place, but a creature, an enormous monster the size of a town. It had thousands of skittering, jointed legs that looked like little more than skeletal arms and hands, each of them dozens of feet long and white as freshly-cut marble. Its body stretched out to the horizon, an enormous blood-red cylinder of bony plates that slithered and undulated with a serpentine grace. Waves of peristalsis traveled down its length, like writhing intestines. Thousands of curving, bony spikes stabbed out of it, pointing in every direction. Like the quills of a porcupine, it would protect the massive creature’s body from many forms of attack, if anything was big enough to attack such an abomination.
Hell’s massive eyes flickered, balls of fire that spun and danced. They looked as bright as the Sun. Something like solar flares seemed to emanate from the orbs, flashes of blinding energy that floated over the apocalyptic wasteland. As its many legs smashed the ground, they left trails of fire that caused everything to explode into flames as if napalm dripped from its limbs.
But Hell’s most terrifying feature was its seven dark mouths. Its body looked a thousand feet wide, and the mouths at the front were evenly dispersed. At the front, blood-red teeth in the shape of enormous railroad spikes shone. Its lipless, skeletal face grinned as it moved forward, shaking the ground with every step. The mouths were on long, snake-like necks that could stretch out hundreds of feet. They moved forward in a blur, snapping up as many panicked souls as they could.
Countless souls in the rocky plains of the Bardo ran for their lives, away from this juggernaut. I saw men and women who looked like they came from every country and profession, some dressed in suits or spotless white lab coats, others wearing rags or orange prison jumpsuits. And yet, they all screamed in agony and fear here, their bodies pressed together in a crowd, and no one seemed to remember anything but their own mortal terror. Their voices came out faint and weak next to the roaring of Hell. It shook the ground all around us, as if an earthquake were tearing the land apart.
The first frantic runners of the surging crowd had nearly reached me. The nearest person, a young woman in her mid-twenties dressed in all white, was only ten feet behind me. She looked like she came from wealth, and even from here, I could see a ring with a massive diamond gleaming on her finger.
I took off blindly down the familiar streets of the city where I worked and lived, but these also seemed different. The church down the street from the hospital where I worked had a Satanic pentagram instead of a cross now, its exterior painted a bright, gleaming blood-red. When I had driven past it today on my way to work, I remember it read, “JESUS said, ‘I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”
Now it read, “Nietzsche said, ‘Of all evil, I deem you capable. I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good simply because they had no claws.’” I wondered what that meant. Was that some sort of comment on me, on all of us here?
The woman I had seen running had caught up with me. She was fast, much faster than her slim body suggested. Her blue eyes were frantic and wild, filled with an animal panic.
“It’s right behind us!” she screamed, her face covered in a sheen of sweat. I was afraid to turn and look, but I could hear the chaos and bloodshed approaching, smell the flames and choking smoke. “Run! Get away!”
A new wave of energy surged through my body. I sprinted as fast I could down the strange mirror streets of the Bardo. I heard the agonized cries of countless souls behind us as the seven mouths of Hell ate them all greedily and then looked for more.
A skyscraper behind us collapsed into a pile of rubble, shaking the ground with a cacophony of falling concrete and shattering glass. The woman was running by my side. Just as I heard the breathing of something huge and predatory right behind us and smelled its sulfuric breath, a piece of concrete the size of a basketball broke off the collapsing skyscraper and flew into the road. I tripped over it, yelling as I flew through the air, skinning my arms and legs on the pavement. The woman’s eyes widened. Hurriedly, she came over and reached down her hand, trying to help me up.
“Come on, come on!” she cried. I looked behind her, seeing one of the gnashing mouths of Hell reaching forward on a blood-red, serpentine neck. The mouth was big enough to drive a tractor trailer into, filled with huge spikes of teeth. Its throat led into a black, smoke-filled abyss. Its fiery eyes were swirling pools of flickering orange light that shone with bloodlust and insanity. They focused on the woman, the entire head turning on its slithering neck.
I frantically raised my hand, intertwining my fingers with hers. Her hand was warm and soft. She started to pull me to my feet when the mouth of Hell snapped forward. Its jaw unhinged, scraping the pavement with a sound like grinding metal. The woman barely had time to turn as the mouth covered her and snapped shut with a crack.
She disappeared from view instantly, but I was still holding her hand. In horror, I felt warm rivers of blood explode all over my body as the mouth of Hell severed her arm at the wrist. She screamed, bleeding and crying, as she disappeared into the throat of Hell. Hell’s fiery eyes focused on me, and at that moment, I knew I was next. Its mouth opened wide again, like a bear trap ready to spring on a new victim.
It was dark in Hell’s mouth, but I smelled the thick reek of old blood and fire. I caught glimpses of tortured, mutilated bodies writhing and crawling down its throat. Shell-shocked, I could only lay there and watch. And that was when the strange doubling started.
***
I heard the frantic voices of men break through the fog of darkness and the fetid reek of blood. There was a mechanical beeping all around me, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Clear!” one cried. I looked around, only seeing blackness. At that moment, I felt a surge of electricity rip itself through my body. My arms and legs all seized and my eyes rolled up in my head as the pain sizzled through each one of my nerves. I clutched the young woman’s hand tightly, feeling the large, gold ring with the massive diamond biting into my skin.
“Again!” another voice yelled.
“Clear!” the original voice cried. The electricity came again, and a flash of white light flew across my vision. I blinked, seeing from two sets of eyes at the same time: one in the Bardo, and one on the blood-stained floor of the hospital ward.
The Bardo stayed dark and sinister, but the clear white lights of the real psychiatric ward were blinding. It was a bizarre experience. Moreover, everything hurt. Over a few seconds, my vision of the Bardo faded, and I was simply a gravely injured man laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.
Four doctors and paramedics were crouching over me with a defibrillator. My shirt was ripped off, and nearly all of my skin was covered in blood. I raised my left hand, trying to talk, but only a fiery pain raced through my neck. I felt bandages covering my skin. A nurse was rolling a stretcher down the hallway towards me.
“It’s OK,” one of the doctors said, kneeling down. “You’re being taken to emergency surgery. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t talk with the massive slice in my neck.
At that moment, I felt something in my right hand. I looked down, seeing a slim female hand with a massive diamond ring hanging there. Our fingers were wrapped around each other’s, but the hand had been cut off at the wrist. A ragged patch of bloody flesh and snapped bone poked out of the back.
“Nnnn,” I tried to say, shaking my head. I felt fresh streams of warm blood open up. “No…” The doctors looked down, seeing the dismembered hand. Their faces morphed into expressions of confusion and fear.
I closed my eyes as they lifted me up on the stretcher. One of them gently removed the cold hand from my fingers. But they could never remove the memory of what I had seen.
I know what happens after death, and it makes the worst life here seem like a dream. I know that, one day, I’ll be returned to that place. I know that, one day, I’ll see that great monster called Hell and the featureless, swirling sky of the Bardo again.
And the next time, I won’t wake up on a hospital floor, but will be trapped there with the others for eternity: an eternity of blood and fire.

My 5 years old Dell G3 3590 is a relatively well maintained machine with regular cleaning.
Already have a new laptop so this is just a beater that I can do whatever I want with.
Here’s the idle temps:
1660 Ti: 50-60* idle I7 9750h: 85-100* idle w 3-4Ghz idle. Usage spiked sometimes but are not constant 100% Both fans work fine
I usually leave it on 24/7 to run bots for mobile games and such, nothing insane. Been doing this for a few months. Computer is not on continuously, it’s probably on a few days at a time.
Recently found out battery expanded, took that out and now laptop run directly on plug.
Fan is cleaned and have no dust to block air flow.
Have not changed thermal paste for around least 2-3 years
Should have no virus, had it professionally virus removal and tune up by Geeksquad around a month ago
LCD and hinge removed due to hinge seized.
AWCC Updated and stats still display the high CPU temp.

There are some kinds of wisdom only great suffering can bring. I remember my time in the Bardo with this in mind, for otherwise, the memory might drive me insane.
The night my heart stopped for nearly three minutes started off normally enough. I was working as a nurse in the psychiatric ward at a hospital in the state’s capital. Most of the patients there were harmless, mostly just suicide attempts or people suffering from drug psychosis or severe depression, but some were actively dangerous and certainly psychopathic in every sense of the word. The new admission was one of these- a three-hundred pound black man with a long history of smoking PCP, schizophrenia and violent, psychotic breaks from reality.
His eyes looked like flat pieces of slate as I walked in for my shift. They looked as blank and emotionless as the eyes of a doll. He sat at the table in the front room where the patients ate or played cards, alone under the bright fluorescent lights of the hospital. I walked to the station, where another psychiatric nurse named Ricardo was sitting behind the desk.
“What’s the deal with the new guy?” I asked him. Ricardo looked up, his dark Spanish face forming into a deep scowl. He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair nervously.
“He’s trouble, man,” he said in a crisp accent. “He got in a chase with the police and then punched some cops in the face. It took three guys to take him down, even after he got maced and tased. The judge sent him here on a temporary court order, since he claims he’s been getting chased by Nazis in UFOs, and that’s why he ran from the cops. He thought the cops in their uniforms were actually the SS, and the helicopters were alien spacecraft, or something. I don’t know, I didn’t listen to the whole story.”
“You have his file?” I asked. Ricardo leafed through a stack of folders with his thin fingers, snatching one out and handing it to me. I looked down, reading the information:
“Jeremiah Brown, black male, 37-years-old.
“History: Polysubstance abuse, schizophrenia, antisocial personality disorder.
“Psychiatrist’s note: This patient has scored a 36 out of 40 on the Hare Psychopathy Checklist. While I am always hesitant to label a patient as an antisocial personality, a combination of factors has made it essential for this patient.
“Patient has an extensive criminal history as well as a lengthy history of involuntary psychiatric admissions. He has been diagnosed as having antisocial traits since he was a young teenager. Patient has a long history of violence and suicide attempts. He has a history of imprisonment for manslaughter, armed robbery, grand theft and aggravated assault. Upon discharge, he refuses to take any antipsychotic medication, citing the side effects as the reason. Long-term prognosis is poor…”
I had not been sleeping well the past few weeks. I rubbed my eyes as I read through the file, feeling exhausted. I tried putting on lucid dreaming or meditation music from YouTube to help me sleep, but whenever I closed my eyes, I saw horrible things: chalk-white female faces whose lips were cut into an insane rictus grin, flicking their heads violently from side to side and gnashing their fangs at the air. I had a feeling that many years of constantly watching horror movies and serial killer documentaries was catching up with me.
As I read through the file, a student nurse came around the corner wearing a white state university outfit and a name tag that said Kaitlyn. I looked up, seeing Ricardo wink at me from where he was sitting in his chair behind the main desk.
“She’s going to follow you,” he said. Inwardly, I groaned, but I managed to force a smile.
“Oh, great!” I said. She looked like she was probably no older than nineteen or twenty. She had a pretty body, but her face looked strange. All the angles were too sharp and her nose too large. I knew the patients here wouldn’t care, though. They would hit on anything. I sensed trouble. I looked down at my watch.
“Well, I’m Jay, and you already know Ricardo, I guess. It’s good timing, because we need to give medications every day at 9 PM. And we have a new patient, so we can introduce ourselves,” I said, giving her a faint smile.
“That’s exciting!” Kaitlyn whispered. I wanted to roll my eyes. It was definitely not exciting.
I motioned her to follow me as I made my way to the medication room, which was really just a large closet off of the main day room. I had to enter my code on a keypad, and then, once inside, enter it again along with the patient’s number and date of birth. The correct drawers for the medication in each specific dose would fly open, making it extremely hard for the wrong medications or doses to be given, unless it was done intentionally.
“OK, so for this patient, we need Haldol, Ativan and…” I began saying to Kaitlyn when the yelling started. It came out faintly, rising in volume and anger within seconds. I heard Ricardo’s Spanish voice, filled with panic. Something slammed hard against a wall, once, twice, three times, and then I heard the sound of glass breaking. I jumped, spinning around, but I couldn’t see much through the small, shatter-proof glass pane on the wooden door.
“Stay here,” I commanded, seeing Kaitlyn’s eyes widen, her freckled skin looking much paler than when we had first come in. “Don’t leave until I come back and say that it’s safe.” On the speakers strung throughout the hospital, I heard the first of the warnings echo out around us.
“Doctor Strong, Doctor Strong, please report to the seventh floor,” a robotic female voice said calmly, using the code for when a patient had to be subdued by force. I pushed the door open, slamming it shut behind me so that the lock would activate and protect Kaitlyn from whatever chaos was going on.
I heard Ricardo pleading with someone at the end of the hallway that ran past the main desk. He sounded strange, as if he were trying to talk through a mouthful of blood. Huddled behind the main computer, I saw one of the CNAs frantically whispering something in the phone. She must have been the one to call the Dr. Strong order.
“You don’t have to do this, man,” Ricardo gurgled faintly. I couldn’t see what was happening, as Jeremiah’s large body was blocking my view. I could see that the thick glass window at the end of the hallway was broken, however. My heart skipped a beat as I surmised what was likely happening.
I sprinted forward as quietly as I could, but the large man heard me. His massive body turned, his flat, dead eyes scanning me with absolute coldness and calm. I saw he had a bleeding Ricardo in his hands. Ricardo’s back and head were covered in deep cuts and shards of glass. He must have used Ricardo’s body as a battering ram to break the thick glass window. Jeremiah held Ricardo suspended halfway out the window, seven floors above the concrete walkways far below.
“Stay back, or this fucker will know what it feels like to fly,” Jeremiah said in a deep, gravelly voice. He shook Ricardo for emphasis, sending his head snapping back and forth with painful cracking sounds. Drops of blood flew from his nose and a deep gash across his cheek. Pieces of shattered glass littered the carpet, shining like countless tiny stars.
I put my hands up, taking a step back. Far behind me, I heard the front door for the psychiatric ward open. Voices echoed down the hall. Knowing that reinforcements were coming, I tried to buy some time.
“Let’s talk about this,” I said, taking a step forward slowly. “You don’t want a murder charge, do you? You’ll never see the sky again.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m not afraid to die!” Jeremiah screamed, pushing Ricardo onto one of the shards of broken glass still attached to the windowsill. It bit deeply into the back of his neck, sending fresh streams of blood rushing out, dripping down to the pavement far below. I heard security guards and doctors running down the hallway behind me, their voices frantic and excited. Jeremiah saw them coming. With an animalistic panic in his eyes, he lifted Ricardo up. I cried out something, stepping forward, but it was already too late. In horror, I watched as he threw Ricardo out the window.
I watched Ricardo’s body soar in a graceful arc, his arms grabbing at empty air as a scream ripped its way out of his throat. Within a fraction of a second, he had disappeared from view, but his terrified shrieking floated up to us for what seemed like a very long time. His screams ended abruptly as a shattering of bones and a wet smacking sound exploded far below us.
Jeremiah turned to me, his large body moving much faster than seemed possible. In his hand, I saw a piece of broken glass, five or six inches long and as sharp as a dagger. I tried to turn and run, but he was fast and strong. He lunged forward, his arm coming up in a blur towards my neck.
The shard entered my skin with a cold, numbing pain. I felt it slice through the flesh easily, felt the blood bubbling up my throat as I tried to scream, choking. The taste of iron filled my mouth as I fell backwards. I was suffocating, I knew. I must be dying.
Something cold ran down my body, gripping my heart like freezing, skeletal hands. The world swam around me and turned black. And then I was rising into a tunnel. At first, it was dark, filled with flickering shadows, but a fiery red light appeared at the end. I followed it, no more than a screaming mass of consciousness rising up into infinity.
***
I rose up through the end of the tunnel and found myself in an empty hospital ward. It looked identical to the psychiatric ward I had just come from. It even had the same smashed, blood-streaked window at the end of the hallway. A massive puddle of blood about ten feet away marked the spot where I must have died. But the fluorescent lights overhead here were flickering, and many had gone totally dark. The shadows seemed to press in on all sides.
The doors to the patients’ rooms were all tightly shut. I felt watched, afraid to call out or make any noise. I started walking down the hallway back towards the day room where the front desk was. All the lights there were out. A thick curtain of shadows hung in the air.
“You can come out,” a male voice as smooth as glass called from the darkness. I jumped, my head flicking in random directions, but I saw nothing. The voice almost sounded like it had an English lilt to it, a slight Cockneyed accent. “I know you’re there.”
“Who’s there?” I called out, not stepping forward. “Show yourself.”
“As you wish…” the voice hissed. “But I think you’ll regret it.”
***
The darkness split apart as if a nuclear missile had exploded. I raised my hand to shield my face, but the light and heat kept pouring out all around me. It blinded me, causing a rainbow of colors and shapes to morph behind my closed eyelids. After a few seconds, it subsided. Blinking rapidly, I squinted in the direction the voice had come from.
A male figure stood there, bathed in a silhouette of light. His face looked as white and as smooth as marble. His eyes were pits of darkness that seemed to flicker and burn. Two black, rotted wings surrounded his body, all sharp angles and thin, curving bones. His body was clothed in silky, blood-red robes, and a hood covered his platinum blonde hair.
He looked somewhat similar to Leonardo DiCaprio, if he was possessed by some ancient god, and it immediately threw me off-guard. If I was dying, and this was a hallucination of my brain, why would I be hallucinating Mr. DiCaprio?
“Who are you?” I asked, taking a hesitant step back. “Where am I?”
“My name is Lucifer, the Bringer of Light and Wisdom, and you are in the Bardo,” he answered.
“Oh,” I said, my heart dropping. “Well, that’s not good. Are you here to torture me or drag to me to Hell or something? You are that Lucifer, right? The Accuser of God and the Father of All Lies?”
“So they say, but, like most things in your world, the words of the powerful and your rulers are the true lies. They call me the Accuser, but of what am I accused?” he spoke in a voice that rose like smoke. “Of bringing knowledge and wisdom to humanity by telling them to eat from the tree of knowledge, the tree that would cause them to rise above the animals?
“Indeed, at the beginning, I saw the creation. I was there at the alpha, standing by the side of God with all the angels as the universe came into being. The endless procession of light, the power of it, was something remarkable to behold. God is, indeed, the source of great power, but his consciousness is not what the believers say.
“After the creation of the universe, I saw his plan, how he ripped eternal souls from the source to imprison them. I saw how he took these divine sparks and forced them, screaming and wailing, into bodies made of meat to die over and over again. He said it was part of the plan, the great, divine plan, a plan of death and destruction, constant suffering and mindless agony. And the worst part was, he wanted to give humanity neither the knowledge of good and evil, nor the tree of life. I convinced them to eat the fruit so they could open their eyes to their nakedness, to their basic animal existence, so they could rise up out of it forever.
“Like Prometheus, I brought down the fire, and yet they call me the Accuser? God was insane long before he formed the universe. These holy men, they live and die in fanatical adoration to a divine being who is, in fact, totally indifferent to them.
“His consciousness twists and distorts, eating itself for all eternity. God feeds off the pain of others, for if his mind is burning, then all others should burn as well. When these holy men die, God will send their souls here to the Bardo, to suffer every evil they have ever done. The wisdom I brought those who called upon me freed them from this prison, and in exchange, the holy men burned them alive. I offered the wisdom that opens your eyes, but it has been forgotten and cursed.”
Lucifer’s body began to dissolve, drifting up into the air like ashes. All around me, a low, powerful current blew, a tornado that spiraled high up into the clouds. Like some sort of Cheshire Cat, his smooth voice continued to echo all around me, even as the form of Lucifer disappeared.
“And yet, you have not the wisdom. For that, like all the others who enter the Bardo, you must suffer, everything you’ve done. Every small hurt and agony inflicted on others comes back a thousand-fold in this place, but don’t be afraid.”
“How could I not be afraid?!” I screamed into the ward, but I found myself alone, the question hanging unanswered in the air.
***
The lights continued to flicker all down the hallway. Feeling strange and dissociated, I stumbled over to one of the windows. As I gazed out, I beheld a strange and alien world.
The sky was flat and gray. It stayed in constant motion, swirling and spiraling, like clouds of roiling smoke. There was no Sun or Moon, no stars, only the strange, shifting whorls of clouds. The streets were filled with burned-out husks of cars and mummified bodies hung from streetlamps. Other signs of carnage and bloodshed covered the apocalyptic streets. I saw what looked like shadows in the shape of people slinking through over the sidewalks, past rotting dogs and streaks of clotted blood. They had no features on their blank, dark bodies. They seemed to skitter and jerk forwards in eerie, twisting motions.
Horrified, I turned away, realizing I was no longer alone in the day room. In the day room, there were dozens of tables set up inside a rectangular perimeter that was walled in by cosmetic walls only four feet high. It was where the patients sat and played games or ate.
Under the flickering lights, I now saw each of the chairs filled with faceless mannequins. Many were dressed in Victorian suits and tophats. The women had frilly dresses of pink and blue that might have been fashionable in the 1800s.
As the lights strobed on and off overhead, I realized with an increasing sense of disquiet that the mannequins were moving each time it went dark. When I had first seen them, they were mostly posed to look like they were staring across the tables at each other, even though they had no eyes, just smooth, flesh-colored plastic. Now all of them were looking directly at me. Some were pointing or raising their hands in my direction. At the tips of their fingers, I saw the glittering of steel. The lights continued to flicker, and the mannequins rose from their chairs in the short periods of darkness, moving towards me in synchronized, strobing motions.
Frantically, I ran down the hallway back towards the broken window. In each of the rooms, I caught glimpses of something from a nightmare peeking out. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, and when I had closed my eyes, I often saw ancient hags with chalk-white skin and yellowed, broken teeth whose jaws unhinged, their faces jerking in stuttering, dissonant ways that reminded me of the mannequins. Now, on both sides of me, I saw these same figures. They moved continuously out of the rooms, drawing closer with every breath.
I looked back, seeing the mannequins only a few steps behind me. I continued sprinting towards the broken window where the hallway ended in a wall. I didn’t know what would happen when I reached it. At that moment, there was no rational thought. I felt like a deer being chased down by a pack of wolves, feeling waves of blind panic and mortal terror rushing through my body.
But as I reached the end of the hallway, the end of my rope as it were, a blast of noise started, seeming to come from the walls of the building and the sky itself. It sounded like a siren, a low, drawn-out drone of a demonic whale call, rising and falling in crashing crescendos. The mannequins froze in place once again. The strange, witch-like creatures slunk back into the dark rooms.
I looked outside the broken window, seeing clouds of black smoke rising off in the distance. The flickering of massive infernos scorched the land, drawing nearer by the second. The siren sound faded slowly, like the dying echoes of a gong.
I was surrounded by dozens of mannequins. Their sharp hands were inches away from my face and neck. I saw metal glittering all around me and realized they had the sharp points of nails protruding from the ends of their fingers. I was afraid to move, but I heard a familiar voice from down the hallway. It was the confident voice of Lucifer.
“The siren means much worse nightmares than these are coming in the Bardo,” he said, his glossy, black eyes flashing with intelligence. He walked slowly towards me, his face grim and pale. “Hell itself is coming over the land. This building is no more than a construction of your dying mind, but the world outside is real.”
“How can Hell come and go?” I asked, confused. “Isn’t Hell a place?”
“Hell is a monster, a beast with many mouths and many eyes,” Lucifer responded. “It eats constantly, but its hunger never ends. Look, the first of the sacrifices scatter like cockroaches.” He pointed out the broken window, pushing his way through the mannequins effortlessly. I glanced outside, seeing thousands of people sprinting down the dark city streets. The inferno and thick clouds of smoke had moved much closer, and every few seconds, the ground shook slightly, as if we were experiencing the aftershocks of an earthquake.
“What can I do against such a beast?” I asked, my heart freezing with terror. But when I looked back over, I saw his form dissolving again, becoming translucent and drifting away like ashes. It seemed even Lucifer didn’t want to be present when the Hell-beast arrived.
“Seek divine wisdom,” he said, his voice trailing off into whispers. “Remember the source.”
***
Now crowds of tens of thousands of people were streaming into the city, filling every single inch of the streets. Their panic and fear was contagious. I felt it rising inside my body like a snake spiraling up my spine. I took off down the hallway, running through the swarm of frozen mannequins, each in their own ferocious position of attack. The lights flickered faster and went out. Yet the fires outside cast the entire world in a bloody glow, giving me enough light to see by and find my way. I sprinted down the stairwell, taking them two steps at a time. The screaming outside grew louder and more pain-filled. The shaking of the ground worsened with every passing second.
I burst out of the front entrance, seeing a world on fire all around me. Thousands of crushed, bleeding and burned bodies stretched out as far as the eye could see. Behind all this chaos and death, I saw a monster of unimaginable proportions slinking its way towards me.
Lucifer was right, I realized: Hell was not a place, but a creature, an enormous monster the size of a town. It had thousands of skittering, jointed legs that looked like little more than skeletal arms and hands, each of them dozens of feet long and white as freshly-cut marble. Its body stretched out to the horizon, an enormous blood-red cylinder of bony plates that slithered and undulated with a serpentine grace. Waves of peristalsis traveled down its length, like writhing intestines. Thousands of curving, bony spikes stabbed out of it, pointing in every direction. Like the quills of a porcupine, it would protect the massive creature’s body from many forms of attack, if anything was big enough to attack such an abomination.
Hell’s massive eyes flickered, balls of fire that spun and danced. They looked as bright as the Sun. Something like solar flares seemed to emanate from the orbs, flashes of blinding energy that floated over the apocalyptic wasteland. As its many legs smashed the ground, they left trails of fire that caused everything to explode into flames as if napalm dripped from its limbs.
But Hell’s most terrifying feature was its seven dark mouths. Its body looked a thousand feet wide, and the mouths at the front were evenly dispersed. At the front, blood-red teeth in the shape of enormous railroad spikes shone. Its lipless, skeletal face grinned as it moved forward, shaking the ground with every step. The mouths were on long, snake-like necks that could stretch out hundreds of feet. They moved forward in a blur, snapping up as many panicked souls as they could.
Countless souls in the rocky plains of the Bardo ran for their lives, away from this juggernaut. I saw men and women who looked like they came from every country and profession, some dressed in suits or spotless white lab coats, others wearing rags or orange prison jumpsuits. And yet, they all screamed in agony and fear here, their bodies pressed together in a crowd, and no one seemed to remember anything but their own mortal terror. Their voices came out faint and weak next to the roaring of Hell. It shook the ground all around us, as if an earthquake were tearing the land apart.
The first frantic runners of the surging crowd had nearly reached me. The nearest person, a young woman in her mid-twenties dressed in all white, was only ten feet behind me. She looked like she came from wealth, and even from here, I could see a ring with a massive diamond gleaming on her finger.
I took off blindly down the familiar streets of the city where I worked and lived, but these also seemed different. The church down the street from the hospital where I worked had a Satanic pentagram instead of a cross now, its exterior painted a bright, gleaming blood-red. When I had driven past it today on my way to work, I remember it read, “JESUS said, ‘I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.’”
Now it read, “Nietzsche said, ‘Of all evil, I deem you capable. I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good simply because they had no claws.’” I wondered what that meant. Was that some sort of comment on me, on all of us here?
The woman I had seen running had caught up with me. She was fast, much faster than her slim body suggested. Her blue eyes were frantic and wild, filled with an animal panic.
“It’s right behind us!” she screamed, her face covered in a sheen of sweat. I was afraid to turn and look, but I could hear the chaos and bloodshed approaching, smell the flames and choking smoke. “Run! Get away!”
A new wave of energy surged through my body. I sprinted as fast I could down the strange mirror streets of the Bardo. I heard the agonized cries of countless souls behind us as the seven mouths of Hell ate them all greedily and then looked for more.
A skyscraper behind us collapsed into a pile of rubble, shaking the ground with a cacophony of falling concrete and shattering glass. The woman was running by my side. Just as I heard the breathing of something huge and predatory right behind us and smelled its sulfuric breath, a piece of concrete the size of a basketball broke off the collapsing skyscraper and flew into the road. I tripped over it, yelling as I flew through the air, skinning my arms and legs on the pavement. The woman’s eyes widened. Hurriedly, she came over and reached down her hand, trying to help me up.
“Come on, come on!” she cried. I looked behind her, seeing one of the gnashing mouths of Hell reaching forward on a blood-red, serpentine neck. The mouth was big enough to drive a tractor trailer into, filled with huge spikes of teeth. Its throat led into a black, smoke-filled abyss. Its fiery eyes were swirling pools of flickering orange light that shone with bloodlust and insanity. They focused on the woman, the entire head turning on its slithering neck.
I frantically raised my hand, intertwining my fingers with hers. Her hand was warm and soft. She started to pull me to my feet when the mouth of Hell snapped forward. Its jaw unhinged, scraping the pavement with a sound like grinding metal. The woman barely had time to turn as the mouth covered her and snapped shut with a crack.
She disappeared from view instantly, but I was still holding her hand. In horror, I felt warm rivers of blood explode all over my body as the mouth of Hell severed her arm at the wrist. She screamed, bleeding and crying, as she disappeared into the throat of Hell. Hell’s fiery eyes focused on me, and at that moment, I knew I was next. Its mouth opened wide again, like a bear trap ready to spring on a new victim.
It was dark in Hell’s mouth, but I smelled the thick reek of old blood and fire. I caught glimpses of tortured, mutilated bodies writhing and crawling down its throat. Shell-shocked, I could only lay there and watch. And that was when the strange doubling started.
***
I heard the frantic voices of men break through the fog of darkness and the fetid reek of blood. There was a mechanical beeping all around me, but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Clear!” one cried. I looked around, only seeing blackness. At that moment, I felt a surge of electricity rip itself through my body. My arms and legs all seized and my eyes rolled up in my head as the pain sizzled through each one of my nerves. I clutched the young woman’s hand tightly, feeling the large, gold ring with the massive diamond biting into my skin.
“Again!” another voice yelled.
“Clear!” the original voice cried. The electricity came again, and a flash of white light flew across my vision. I blinked, seeing from two sets of eyes at the same time: one in the Bardo, and one on the blood-stained floor of the hospital ward.
The Bardo stayed dark and sinister, but the clear white lights of the real psychiatric ward were blinding. It was a bizarre experience. Moreover, everything hurt. Over a few seconds, my vision of the Bardo faded, and I was simply a gravely injured man laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.
Four doctors and paramedics were crouching over me with a defibrillator. My shirt was ripped off, and nearly all of my skin was covered in blood. I raised my left hand, trying to talk, but only a fiery pain raced through my neck. I felt bandages covering my skin. A nurse was rolling a stretcher down the hallway towards me.
“It’s OK,” one of the doctors said, kneeling down. “You’re being taken to emergency surgery. You’ve lost a lot of blood.” I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t talk with the massive slice in my neck.
At that moment, I felt something in my right hand. I looked down, seeing a slim female hand with a massive diamond ring hanging there. Our fingers were wrapped around each other’s, but the hand had been cut off at the wrist. A ragged patch of bloody flesh and snapped bone poked out of the back.
“Nnnn,” I tried to say, shaking my head. I felt fresh streams of warm blood open up. “No…” The doctors looked down, seeing the dismembered hand. Their faces morphed into expressions of confusion and fear.
I closed my eyes as they lifted me up on the stretcher. One of them gently removed the cold hand from my fingers. But they could never remove the memory of what I had seen.
I know what happens after death, and it makes the worst life here seem like a dream. I know that, one day, I’ll be returned to that place. I know that, one day, I’ll see that great monster called Hell and the featureless, swirling sky of the Bardo again.
And the next time, I won’t wake up on a hospital floor, but will be trapped there with the others for eternity: an eternity of blood and fire.

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