( posting on behalf of a friend to confirm where we stand, thank for your help! )
Currently living in student accommodation through a private company (one medium building outside the university campus/area completely, flats of 6 rooms w shared kitchen/toilets) so I don’t think it counts as “student halls” instead as private accommodation for students with a 250£ deposit secured through DPS.
We’re almost at the end of tenancy in a month or so and during random inspections, my friend had left a sock blocking the smoke detector in her own room, to light incense, and the staff has taken a picture of this and sent an email regarding a 50£ fine (which due to the obvious safety concerns and lack of care, I understand that this is a criminal offence (although unlikely a problem in our scenario afaik)
I’d appreciate if someone could let me know if on non-payment of this fine, are they able to increase the amount significantly over time? and if it is deductible from her deposit or not?
As per my understanding, although disallowed in the contact to cover fire alarms, unless they can prove damages and costs incurred, then they have no authority to fine/deduct from deposit for this? (maybe eviction rights? but unrealistic in this scenario I think)

Just woke up from a nap that I think should be shared with other believers. Essentially this is how my dream went…
I was at work, working my general 9-5 and being extremely bored. I am anticipating talking to someone who I haven’t started dating yet who I’ve met on an app. We’re both Christians and although we haven’t started dating yet, I understood that we were both striving to wait until marriage.
While I understood that, I also knew that this meant another prolonged season of waiting. Which of course wasn’t what my flesh wanted of course. While contemplating how I was going to remain steadfast in my future endeavors with this person, someone came up and was attentively sticking close to me.
This person was conventionally very attractive, good hair, nice skin, fit body type, and beautiful eyes. We made conversation and at first they were quite reserved and shy. After pleasantries discussed they suddenly became very sexually aggressive. They began suggesting that we partake in entertaining each other.
Unfortunately in the dream I obliged and they took me out of my place of work to be promiscuous. We were (NSFW Warning) trying to do finger play on each other outside my office and were having a good time. After a period of that, we began making our way back to my office when alarms were ringing, the building needed to be evacuated.
Seeing the situation the person I was with suggested we continue our activities at my place. Considering that it was getting close to the end of my work schedule and the building was being evacuated, I agreed.
Along the way back, for some reason I ran into some old friends from way back and I began to engage in conversation because it had been a long time. The person I was with again had an abrupt change. They began to become extremely impatient and was actively trying to hurry my conversation with my old friends. Not only that but their attitude was rude and they were taking pictures and trying to reply to other people from a dating app.
Seeing this behavior, my old friends didn’t want to conversate anymore and me and this sexually charged person began to continue to my place. I asked to see their phone to check out the dating app and what I saw was a satanic illustration that they put together through typing letters of a language that I didn’t understand. This put me off greatly and as we got closer to my place, I had the willpower to end my dream.
I sat up in relief, and I began to ponder on the dream. I interrupted it as an attack on the devil as a demonstration of how easy it would be for me to find someone to satisfy my flesh. I’m thankful that I’ve waited and I’m waiting for marriage because I didn’t provide fuel for the enemy to enlarge that fire. Looking back on the dream, me and this sexually charged person only did the things which I’ve done before. While although what I’ve done wasn’t right, I’m thankful that I’m not tempted with experiences I haven’t had that I do want.
I’m only as susceptible to temptation that I’ve had access to because I’ve experienced it. Therefore I wasn’t tempted with the prospect of sex because I’ve never had it. I wanted to share this because I know there are other young singles like me, men and women, who desire for intimacy. I implore you like myself to stay strong and not engage in those activities as it is a barrier to prevent you from doing it before marriage. For those of you who have done it, I implore you to stop. The enemy can only entice you with what you’ve done, so don’t give them more arrows to shoot you with.
While I am a male 23, and the person who was pursuing me a woman. I intentionally made the person’s gender in my dream up to interpretation because it can be reversed. There are men and women that are obstacles for women and men of God daily. I hope this helps someone pursue intimacy in the way God designed it and flee from the pursuit of sexual gratification.
TL;DR: Waiting for marriage helped me not give in to sin in my dream. Which hopefully will help me to continue to not give up in my daily walk.

Blaze 3:Demonic Arc 5: Immortal Sins⁵
Last time. Tijiri was trying to unite the Anti-Sapiens. A mask man would attack people. His name is Takei and he is an Anti-Sapien. He got into a fight. Will Julmbo be helped? Find out right now. Takei launches his blades at Julmbo then appeared behind him. However, he is not there. Person" Where'd he go?" Person2" I do not see him." Looking around. Takei" Must be one of his tricks?" Fire comes from the ground. Draum appears from the fire. Holding Julmbo. Jumbo" Where did you come from?" Draum" I was actually site seeing and heard your distress." Takei" Bravo. Are you going to be taking his place?" Draum" You get the people out of here and I'll hold him off. Deal?" Julmbo" Deal."
Tinn is not with any Justice Driver members. Tijiri" Look who is all alone. Your mohawk is trash." Tinn" Take it back!" He turns around. Tinn" He has a mohawk to." Tinn has a standard mohawk while Tijiri has spikes in his hair. Tijiri summons his his blades. Tijiri" How bout we duel a bit?" Tinn" What is with this guy? I guess I'm fighting." Tinn summons his weapon. Tinn" Good thing I have this blade." Tinn duplicates his blade. Tijiri" That's a neat little trick you got there." Tinn shows off his blade's speed. As Tinn tries to cut, Tijiri's body becomes paper and he gets away. Tinn" What the hell?! His body just became paper. Fascinating. I'm going to have to keep a great eye on that."
Tijiri" Sure you will. I'm not done yet." His body becomes metal. Metal looks different on body(body parts). His mohawk is a weapon now. He goes over to the sand and his hands glows(spirit energy) then he touches it. Tinn uses his Moon Blades. 7. His lower half is made of sand and goes through the move(lower half came apart). Tinn" Did my eyes just catch that?" Tijiri" You see. I get to absorb just about anything into my hands then transfer them to different body parts. Like gas, liquid, or etc. I can even make my right hand become wood, my left leg metal and my back becomes sand. All at once. In other words you are fucked. I'll show you more." Kevin Levin's power from Ben 10.
Tinn" Is he foreal? There's no way I'll stand a chance now." Ending. Tijiri is about to finish him but he stops. He is gone. Tinn" He just left like that? I'm not going to question him. Who knows what he'd done to me if he took it seriously. That was too close." FATHER" There's another Anti-Sapien close around here." Takei" I'm waiting to see him." Tijiri" Are we getting closer FATHER?" FATHER" Sure we are." FATHER can communicate with more than one Anti-Sapien at the same time. No matter how far they are from one another.
Takei" There he is. So you are the other Anti-Sapien." Tijiri" Please to meet you(bows with one hand). My name Tijiri Akaru." Takei" Takei Mizukuro." FATHER" Now it's time for me to discuss something. All we have to do is round up more and then the world will fear us. Where's Jillian?" Tijiri" She remained at the Togyu Manji." FATHER" Fine by me." Next scene. Draum meets up with the Justice Drivers. Julmbo" I just got beat up by an Anti-Sapien." Tinn" You fought an Anti-Sapien? I might have as well. He was pretty strong. He walked away from the fight and could've easily beat me." Strider isn't there. He's on the mountain.
Spike" It looks like you had a bad day guys." Draum" We may want to contact Eyashi just in case." Julmbo" Why for?" They are calling Eyashi. Eyashi" Of course you got beat up, Julmbo." Julmbo" What is that supposed to mean? Are you calling me weak?" Eyashi" Maybe I am." Julmbo" Why you!" Eyashi" Relax I'm ony kidding." Julmbo" Hey those could hurt a guy's feeling." Eyashi" Enough goofing around." They are describing them. Eyashi" A spiky mohawk? We encountered that same person earlier. Was he with someone?"
Tinn" They were both alone." Eyashi" I know he's not alone." Scene shows Eyashi and the others. Rachel" So this is what it looks like. It's so beautiful. And it's ours." Sidney" You bet." They take a look around. A group of people are fighting demons. Jillian appears. Jillian" It seems that these people need my help. Don't worry. I'm here to save you. Demons are evil doers and must be stopped." She takes them out. She uses lightning. Lee" She took them all out." Shu" That was amazing. Who are you?" Jillian" I'm Ji. I'm Lady Lightning. I'm just doing my job. I got to protect my image. I think I need a disguise. I know where I must go." She goes to the her father.
Jillian" Father I need a favor." Jim" What is it dear? Anything you need." Jillian" I need a superhero suit to hide my identity while I fight crime." Jim" You can count on me. I am a great carpenter and craftsman you know." Jillian" Thanks pa." Hours later. Jim" As you can see, I made this prototype version while I finish touching up the original. You can try it out as you please." Jillian" I couldn't wait another second." Next scene. Sidney" Hey look at what I found. It's this picture(he unfolds it)." Sid" I want to see. Wait, it's Eyashi and he's holding me. And there is mom, dad, Haden, Haden's wife, Zushi, Bosch, that's you and that must be Aeriel? I didn't know this existed."
Fasha" Let us see." They see the picture. Eyashi" It's time for us to start training. Now is the time." Sidney" I'm going to get my group together. They will be a great aid." Eyashi" Indeed. Whoever we need. Hey Sid. There's something I have to teach you really quick." Sid" I like new things." Time to learn the Raika. Now this should be a piece of cake for you." He forms it in his left hand. Sid" How are you able to use it?" Eyashi" That's a good question. Your mother put some of her light power in my left hand." Sid" Why?"
Eyashi" She tried teaching me the move but I couldn't learn. This is something I wasn't use to. I would then master the move and it wouldn't be me not to brag about it to Zushi. She started to get mad at me, so I told her and gave her some of mine. Hers is in her right hand. Ours are weaker and incomplete compared to Fatha's but yours will be the real thing. The final thing is we can't use it in the alternate hand." Eyashi is still holding the Raika but he diffuses it. Fasha" I saw Zushi used the Raika during her flight with the Dark Phantom member. It was very resourceful." Zushi" Of course it was." Eyashi" It seems that Zushi is here(outside)."
Phil" If Sid's mother could give some of her light power to others, could it work for someone else like me?" Eyashi" I did not think on that. I have to see. Sid Form your Spirit Cannon." He does. Eyashi" Now harness all of your light power into your Spirit Cannon." Sid" I got it! It changed." Eyashi" The Spirit Cannon is now a Raika. You see. I told you it was a piece of cake." Sid's is glowing whiite while Eyashi and Zushi's are regular white. Fatha's is glowing purple because she infused it wiith her aura. Is smaller and cost less spirits. Phil" Now let's see could I hold it." Sid tries to but he gets blown back. Phil" That had some kick to it." Fasha" How do you feel?" Phil" I'm fine. I think." Sid" Let me try this." He tries to distribute some of the Light power to Phil and Fasha. Zushi" It doesn't seem to be working."
Sid" I guess I can't then." Eyashi" Time for some training then. Think we should use the Training Simulation Room. Been a minute." Jillian is shown. Jillian" No Evil doers can stop me now. What's that a distress call(noise heard). Hear I come. Don don don." She runs into CJ. CJ" Who are you and why are you dressed like this." Jillian" Well that's because I am a superhero. I'm fighting the evil doers." CJ" Can you fly?" Jillian" No I can't." CJ" Well then that makes two of us." Jillian" What are you searching for then." CJ" My friends fought these things called Anti-Sapiens. I believe that's what they're called. I wanted to fight them mysel, to see how strong I am." Jillian" What is your name?" CJ" CJ and yours?" Jillian" It's Ji...I mean Lady Lightning. I have something to show you."
She shows CJ her Anti-Sapien symbol. On the back of her neck. Covered up by hair. CJ" What am I looking at?" Jillian" It's my Anti-Sapien symbol. I thought you knew what it looked like?" CJ " Wait! You are one of them? How strong are you? I want you to fight me." Jillian we're not supposed to fight each other. We're supposed to fight the evil doers." Enemies appears. CJ" Time to test ourselves." Fight finished. Jillian" You did good. Maybe you will even be my sidekick and wear super suits. She charges off. CJ" thanks for your help. She was really positive." Strider is by the mountain. Strider" Feels nice out here. Too nice(switching his eyes). He looks alarmed. Buzzing sounds are heard. Strider" I'm not alone here. I've got company. You can come out now stranger! Somethings crawling on me." He scratches. He pulls his shirt up. Strider" What are these things? They're huge!" He destroys them. More bugs appear.
A person is shown in the distance. He has dark clothing on. He" This town is mine for the taking. He shows himself to Strider. Doesn't show his face. Strider" Are you responsible for this?" He doesn't say anything. He uses bugs to fight. Strider" So it was you. These bugs are too strong." The bugs form as one and choke Strider. They release him. He walks away and says" Next time I won't be be so merciful. He's gone. Strider grabs is neck and is breathing heavily. Strider" That son of bitch!" He goes to the others. Strider runs into Draum. Draum" Why do look like this?" Strider" I just got into a fight with this weird guy. I couldn't see his face though. He used these bugs on me and was able to do away with me but didn't. If he comes back, I want to be prepared. Draum" Slow your roll. We need to get to the others first." Strider" Angreed."
Draum" Interesting. We got into fights with random people. In the same day." Strider explains it. Julmbo" So that's what happened. Thought that mask man would show up again." Tinn" Perhaps they are together. Trying to throw us off." Spike" If they are working together, then the both of them could be Anti-Sapiens." Julmbo" More problems. If that guy is an Anti-Sapien, where are they coming from?" Tinn" He better not be! You barely got away." Spike maybe we could perform an ambush." Julmbo" Good idea. I like it Spike. We need to come up with a strategy first." The bug guy is shown. Anti-Sapien. FATHER" This town will soon be ours. The Anti-Sapiens will slowly but surly rise to power. Don't fail me Buzz." Buzz" Affirmative. You can count on me." FATHER" Thank you my son." Face shown. Black man. Black hair. Has a jacket with the mouth covered. Similar to Shino Aburame from Naruto and Candyman.
Buzz is shown destroying and killing people. People are yelling: What are you? You are a monster! Buzz" Oh I'm a monster. I'll show you a monster." Bugs get into their mouths and they die. Later on. Buzz is out of his disguise and bumps into Tinn by accident. Buzz" My bad." Tinn" No it's my fault. I wasn't paying attention." Buzz has his hands behind his back and is planning something. The Justice Drivers arrives and he backs off. Strider" Did you find anything?" Tinn" No. Nothing." Takei and Tijiri are together and spots Jillian. Tijiri" There you are. We finally found you." Jillian" Whose he?" Tijiri" He's an Anti-Sapien just like me and you." Jillian" Another Anti-Sapien?" Takei" I'm Takei Mizukuro or Massk. You must be Jillian?" Jillian" I'm not Jillian. I'm Lady Lightning." FATHER" We're almost there. Just a few more to round up, then we'll be rolling. There's another Anti-Sapien back at Conithio Town but we'll worry about that later. Let's see them take us now."
Team Blaze are finished with the Training Simulation Room. Eyashi" That was worth the workout. How do you guys feel?" Sid" It feels different from Haden's." Eyashi" By different, you mean better." Phil" I feel like I can beat 20 Anti-Sapiens." Eyashi" That's the spirit Phil. What about you Fasha?" Fasha" Feeling like I'm really getting the hang of this blade." Eyashi" And finally you Zushi." Zushi" I feel like hitting you in the face." Eyashi" Woa. Woa. Woa there. Somebody's being spicy. I like spicy." Zushi" Spicy. I'll show you spicy!" She punches him very hard. No more joking around.
CJ" There you guys are. It seems you've finally finished. I had to tell you. Earlier I ran into this lady. She had this suit and called herself Lady Lightning. She wanted to fight evil duers. She even talked like a superhero. Demons would appear and we took em out. I'd mentioned I wanted to fight an Anti-Sapien then she revealed her symbol. I never knew what it looked like. I still wanted to fight her but she turned it down. Mentioned that the good guys shouldn't fight each other. She was very polite. Have you ever seen a nice Anti-Sapien before?'" Zushi" No. They all wanted to kill us.” Eyashi" Sometimes they can act nice at first but end up villainous. Never befriended an Anti-Sapien before." Zushi" Maybe you're just being played?" CJ" I don't think she was acting. I believe she is actually like that." Sid" won't know unless we meet her." Fasha" Right!" Phil" Sure! Can't wait."
Buzz is shown again. FATHER" Keep it up my son. Don't let up. Destroy, destroy, destroy, and destroy. Don't forget what the world did to you. Now take advantage of em." Buzz begins to think about many years ago. Scenes are shown but quickly. Buzz" Yes sir. I will. FATHER." Buzz sees some people(humans) about to be attacked. A man and woman are crawling away. Begging. He sees the same thing happening to his parents. He kills them(no bugs). They thank him. Buzz begins to kill more people. He stops when he sees a woman with white long hair. Buzz" Heather. Is that you?' she is turned around. She turns around and says" My name isn't Heather. It's Harper." He ignores her and and continues to call her Heather.
Buzz" I thought I'd never see you again. Heather. I saw you get burned. I thought you died." Harper" What are you talking about?" Buzz" You were burned because the house was on fire. Someone tried to set you up." Harper" How was Heather? She looked just like me. Tell me about her and your name." Buzz" My name is Jakob Akali but you may call me Buzz. It's my Anti-Sapien name(shows symbol on mouth/keeps mouth covered like Kakashi). Heather was a very upbeat person. She loved trying new things. Heather hated the loud noises. We went on many dates. I would do anything for her. She hated my brother. So you know what I did? I killed his ass. There were these people who kept aggravating her. They were killed as well (Harper gulps). Now are you afraid of me? Heather."
Harper" No(scared voice)." Buzz" Come to me (his bugs fly around heIn her face). Heather told me something before her passing. She said that she loved me very dearly. I wanted to marry her and she said yes. She is not here. That's where you come in. I want to marry you instead. You are a split image of her very existence." Harper" You want me to marry you(shaky voice)?" Buzz" So, will you marry me or not? The choice is yours. What will it be, Heather?" Harper is thinking in mind and says" What will I do? If don't choose yes, what will happen to me? I don't want to be with him." How will Harper get out of this? Will she marry him or not? What will happen next time on Part⁶? "To Be Continued"

So I'm just here too vent I don't know where to start but I'll start at the beginning so some backstory, I grew up in a traditional household as in I was fending for myself from the age of 14 by that I mean that once I turned 14 I cooked my own meals I did my own laundry I cleaned my own room I did my own jobs where I got paid money for things Such as babysitting house cleaning and sitting. Also I feel like I should mention that I grew up in a sixth generational military household where we were Raised under strict discipline We were also raised to have strong moral values as in do not do anything illegal and be an upstanding citizen you see something wrong report it. So to the meat and potatoes of why I want to vent so For this we need to go back 12 years ago so I just graduated high school I decided I want to start dating so I ended up meeting the person who would become my life partner when I first met him and we were on our first date I specifically told him that if we are going to be serious there's a game changer or end of game for me would be If he Or any of his friends or family members Had a criminal record that it would be game over "sorry thanks for playing tell him what he has won Charlie". He very plainly told me that no everyone and his family and his life are good people. So I give him a chance and we ended up dating for 2 years. Eventually I ended up getting stationed far away and I asked him if he would like to move in with me and he said yes. After a short while of us living together we ended up getting pregnant with our daughter and then he wanted me to meet his parents. side note The reason why I haven't met his parents up until this point is because I was a strong believer in not meeting the in-laws until marriage was either on the table or at least in talks but I did not want to meet them unless I and he was absolutely sure that we wanted to take that step. So we eventually went to go meet his parents and siblings and his siblings kid and everything went well it was a very lovely meeting and there was nothing to complain about nothing out of the ordinary. It eventually got to the point where every weekend we would be going to his parents house and the rest of the pregnancy went by swimmingling no problems whatsoever. Eventually my daughter came into the world during the summer and she was full term healthy happy baby. After 2 months of recuperating from giving birth we went to go visit his family let them see their granddaughter, niece, cousin. When we arrived at my in-law's house his cousin was there just chillin sitting on the couch. My partner said "cousin you're out of juvee that's amazing I wasn't expecting you to be back so soon" Safe to say my eyes widen when I heard my partner say this because I flashback to when we first met and I specifically asked him if he had any family members or Or friends who Who had a criminal record. I pulled him to our room that we had aside at the In-law's house and hushley yelled at him saying that he had told me that he had no family members are friends with criminal records he very nonchalantly Said "oh cousin doesn't have a criminal record it was expunged when he turned 18" 🚩#1: I don't know about everyone else but this was a red flag when I first heard it cause he basically got me on a technicality But I still felt betrayed because his cousin was in juvee for a pretty bad crime.( Not gonna mention here but it will come into light later in the story.) I let it go for the moment And enjoyed the rest of my weekend unfortunately though I had left my ipod In my room cause I was told it would be safe there because I was also told that I should make my partner's room feel more homey to me. But when I had came back the following weekend to get my ipod it was not where I had left it I ended up tearing apart the room looking for it because it had sentimental value to me due to irreplaceable photos videos from high school of friends, friends who are no longer with us, events that I held dear from high school Especially all the events that come with senior year of high school. I asked all the family who were living in the house at the time if any of them had been in partner's room or Or borrowed my ipod and everyone said no everyone said I don't know where it is. I then asked who has been in the house during the week since I was gone and mother-in-law said oh cousin was here because he was having trouble with his girlfriend. I went to partner and asked him to call cousin to see if he borrowed my ipod because if he did then I would like it back because I have I have irreplaceable photos on the ipod. 🚩#2: Partner said no cousin wouldn't never take anything from my room cousin's not like that you're crazy why you being so upset and crazy over a few photos and a ipod. Partner also mentioned that because of my view of His cousin that that's clouding my Vision of him so of course I would automatically assume he would take it granted I did not specify he stole it I said borrowed did not say stolen please refer to previously mentioned reason why this ipod was so important to me...partner knew of the sentimental value of the ipod also that I paid for it with my hard earned money, it was the first expensive thing I had ever brought. Anyways partner had me second-guessing myself so I eventually just let go the fact that my ipod was missing I did not bring it up I should have it would save me a lot of mental health in the future anyways flash forward to 2015 my contract With the military was up I decided not to reinlist. As a goodbye gift my master chief had given me a deer antler bullet Pen that he had made personally for me. At the behest of his parents me and partner and our daughter moved into his parents place I kept the pen in a pen holder On my desk in my room At this point in time I was always out of my room and out of the house looking for a job. I didnt really need one I was making and still am making plenty from the VA. I'm sure a lot of you I probably gonna say that when I had moved in I should learn my lesson with the ipod and had installed a lock on the door but my in-laws were strong believers in a no lock policy in the house of course I did not And still do not believe in that policy I like privacy I do not like the idea of someone just randomly barging into my Space at any given moment. So eventually one of my old navy buddies had came to visit me and wanted to see the pen that master chief had given me. We wanted to compare the ones that Master chief had given both of us Every pen he had made was always unique so we wanted to see the difference Between the 2. Low and behold my pen was missing and I was devastated. And true Rinse and repeat fashion. I asked all the family members who were living in the house at the time if anyone had been in my room and took a pen they all looked at me like I was crazy and said are you going to get upset over a pen missing now and I specified that that pen was basically a parting gift from my boss for For being in the military. 🚩#3:After I realized that I was not gonna get anywhere with asking the family, I voice my concerns and grievances to my partner he also made me feel like I was crazy because he stated that "it's just a pen get over it". Eventually I did manage to get a few jobs over the next few years up until 2019 when I eventually decide I want to better my education and go to college so from June till may of 2020 I was going to college.side note: From when we had moved in with his parents all the way till even today I have been doing 90% of the housework as in I cook, I clean, I do laundry all the while working 40+ hour weeks. All partner ever does is just go do work with his dad And come home to fresh clean clothes and towel fresh out of the dryer laid out in the bathroom and a hot meal waiting on the table as I'm sure you're getting from the tone of what I'm saying right now I think you know Where this whole thing is gonna go real soon. So while I'm going to school and doing all the housework taking care of our child. My partner would come home shower do all the normal stuff and then go to bed but then he wouldn't touch me or be intimate with me he would always say I'm tired I'm not in the mood I have a headache. Maybe you dont understand partner but I never pressed on him because I assume because of certain work stressors He must be having a tough week so I never pressed him to be intimate with me. Pass to around a few weeks before Halloween I was just randomly scrolling on his phone looking at Halloween costumes for our daughter cause she wanted a very specific costume and he had gotten a text message from someone labeled under a male name and they said something that was very alarming and I looked in the text against my better judgment And what it said was hey how about we have another car date. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so me in stealth mode I text it back saying what would you like to do during the car date and the person replied oh the same thing we do every time we go on a car date you me in the back seat and you pounding me like crazy. With you saying my name and me screaming yours. Safe to say I was sick to my stomach just from reading what the person had text I had screenshot the text and I had sent it to myself and then deleted the text that I had sent to myself from my partner's fault I then put the phone away and then partner went and got his phone and I could see his face turned pale white as he saw that the Text had been opened but he didn't make any mention even brought it up. After this I went into FBI mode and I would casually look at his phone whenever he was in the shower he would always leave it charging as soon as he got home from work and then any text messages that seemed kinda off I would screenshot them and I would look app the number at a later time and back track it via Google. The information you can find on Google is crazy to me thank God for google. I eventually would get the person he was sending messages 2 send pictures as proof that they were together And evidence was unmistakable the things that she had sent made my stomach turn lowkey I could hear just what the episode of SNAPPED would have said about me if I had listened to that inner voice. After getting plenty of proof of his infidelity I eventually confronted him And here's where red flag number 4 comes into play. 🚩#4: He stated that I had become distant from him that I was more concerned with our child and school then I was with him and then also another thing that was basically as he said the straw that broke the camel's back was that I had put on weight. at this point in time I was Only 50 pounds heavier than when I got out of the military. He also mentioned that I didn't make time for him anymore Which was far from the truth if anything I always tried to push to have time with him on his days off but he was always "with his friends" I later found out that he was with her. Another reason he had given was that our relationship had grown stale and cold and boring and he wanted something exciting and new. I gave him the ultimatum either he picks me and our daughter or he picks his side piece. And true kid mentality he said it wasn't fair because he loved both me and her and he couldn't pick and he had the nerve to come up with the idea that we do a sister wife/polygamy type of relationship. 🚩#5: He even went As far to say that we should do an open relationship but primarily one where he would be in a relationship with someone but I would have to be faithful to him.another side note:he's not morman or LDS or muslim Very nicely I state did that it would be a cold day in hell when any of those options would be even viable to me.* Again I grew up in a traditional household where monogamy is a necessity And I also made it very clear when we started dating that I was a monogamous person so how this even became an idea in his head I have no idea.* So he tells me once he sees that I am dead serious that he chooses me and our daughter and I stated good choice and I thought that was the end of it until December of that year when I had heard his phone go off while he was again in the bathroom and I went to look at it and it was her and she had stated that He had left his wallet at her place when When he had seen her last week. I was feeling mad and when he came to sit back down on the couch I threw his phone at him I Called him out for the sleazy dog that he wasAnd brought up other harsh words Regarding events that had happened in the past years Since we had moved in with his parents. 🚩#6:He stated that he hasn't seen her since I had given him the ultimatum and that she is just trying to get rise out of me because he had told her that I had found out about her. Of course I did not believe him so once he left for work the following day I checked his Google location for the day that she had mentioned that he had left his wallet and lo and behold he had been at her house during that week and then also later in the day after the text he had been at her house again this time he was at her house for the better part of 3 hours when he strictly told me that he was gonna be super busy and working with yard tools where he would not be able to hear his phone go Off whenever I text or call him. * Yes I can hear you all screaming at me that I should have left him when he first had the affair but I don't know maybe I had my daughter in my mind and didn't want her to grow up in a broken household or whatever may be the case but for some stupid God forsaken reason I gave him another chance And kept giving him chance after chance every time I saw he had gone to her house* Eventually he had grown tired of the girl and then he settled back into being monogamous again and everything for the most part especially after covid happened was quiet and calm but that's what I thought. Queue cousin entering from left stage. Cousin ended up staying with us during COVID because again he had a falling out with his girlfriend now baby mama And one particular day I came home from working limited hours due to covid and I see an iPod that looks eerily similar to the one I had. Curious I looked at the back and low and behold there was still a sticker residue from A sticker that had previous There. Fun fact about my ipod I had an anime sticker That I had personally designed. Again curiosity got the better be and I unlock the ipod and check the serial number in IMEI numbers and check the same Info on the product box that I had gotten my ipod in and lo and behold they matched perfectly to a T. Stupidly optimistic I was hoping someone had found it where it might have been misplaced and I was hoping that my photos and videos were still on the ipod. But as I'm sure you're probably already guessing it was wiped clean and it was nothing but photos of and you guessed it cousin and his baby mama and their baby. every video and pic that I had on my ipod from when I first bought it In freshman year of high school to when I had eventually had my daughter Was gone forever. Cousin came out of the bathroom and asked what I was doing with his ipod. I'm sure you know where this conversation is going so I'm not gonna repeat it but let's just say a few harsh things were said and he eventually felt guilty for not coming to me and asking if the ipod was mine. I obviously gave it back to him because it had no more sentimental value to me because all my stuff was deleted and it was basically his at this point. So later that night I again leaned on Partner's shoulder and Express my grievances and how I didn't appreciate that he gaslet me into thinking that his cousin wouldn't take something out of his room when in later years it is found out that he did in fact I asked for an apology on the matter and he stated... 🚩#7: Why are you upset over something that happened in the past and over photos that Aren't that important.* Our daughter's entire birth was on the ipod by the way Not to mention all my pregnancy bump milestone photos were there too.Also I have fertility issues and was told carry children would be difficult...I think they meant conceiving because like a unicorn no morning sickness or any of the negative things you hear that comes with pregnancy* Later in the year 2020 partner's brother ended up moving out and moving about 2 hours North of us With his girlfriend now wife. In the same fashion as us not too soon after they moved into their new place they found out they were expecting their first child together. The entire pregnancy went by just as smoothly as mine but around December, Brother-in-law and cousin decided to do cross-country trip this is all that they told us we thought they were crazy because His brother-in-law was expecting his first child and cousin was expecting his second child And the babies were going to be due any day at most within the coming weeks. Well surprise surprise we get a call from brother-in-law's frantic wife stating something happened to brother in law and cousin and that she couldn't talk about it over the phone. When she eventually arrived she was hysterical, Tears rolling down her face I actually felt A sense of concern and dread for what she was about to say to us. So long story short cousin and brother-in-law had been working for unfavorable people and transporting unfavorable items across state lines. sil and cousins baby mama knew what they were doing and would tag along, they "didn't care because the money and their lives were good" * Brother-in-law's ex then gf had previously told me that he was working for the same unfavorable people and when I brought it up to 🚩#8: partner he said x is crazy don't listen to Her. (He later told he and fam always knew what bil and cousin were doing just never brought it up because 'thats cousin and bils business to tell us'* Again due to COVID the court system was delayed and brother-in-law did not go to jail right away. While we were awaiting a sentencing Brother-in-law set all the family down and asked us to look over his wife and kids (yes kids plural he ended up having a second child while awaiting sentencing stupid I know.) The rest of the family said they would look out for Brother-in-law's family. But here's where I'm going to sound like an a****** but I very plainly and bluntly told him that I will not look after his family because I did not marry "wife" and I did not have "kids" I also stated that he knew that he was expecting a kid and he went to do a run even though his kid was due any day and I also mentioned that he needs to suffer the consequences of his actions. To make it short the family looked at me like I was the devil for saying this but I have made it clear of where I stand when it comes to criminals and doing illegal activities. I also have made it very clear how I feel criminals should pay for their actions. I know this will sound cheesy but if you cannot do the Time do not do the crime. In my eyes this was a textbook case of f*** around and find out. I do not feel like I should bend over backwards when I am taking care of my own family and my own problems and adding my brother-in-law's problems to my plate. Again this is where I might lose people but as I previously I grew up in a traditional household where we pull our weight and take care our ourselves. Sister-in-law is now living with us she does not have a job, she does not want a job, she does not pitch in for any expenses. I am paying over 70% of the household expenses water, gas, Wi-Fi etc. * Also after looking at the mortgage payment statements the rent I pay my in-laws to stay in the house pays for more than half of the mortgage.* Sister-in-law does not pitch in a dime. She has no disability she can work she just chooses not to. Well if you couldn't guess it the house was tense for the rest of the time that brother-in-law was in the house until he was eventually sentenced and put in jail. So since brother-in-law has been in jail I still stick to the hole I don't help sister-in-law with anything pertaining to her, I don't ask her for anything. She's been making it a habit of calling my partner and having him move my car from the spots that Im able to get in front of the house before she got into the spot to have him move the car for her because she doesn't want to walk far with The kids. This was usually how things were done until yesterday when sister-in-law was calling my partner to have him move my car and he wouldn't answer because he was asleep due to being sick. So In a begrudging fashion I assume this was for her she calls me to have me move my car, I told her I don't mind the car being moved but she would have to come get the keys to move it as I was currently busy rearranging my Space, And that I was trying to get everything i needed to get done before my day was over cause this was my only day off during the week, And in A spoiled sounding tone she says whatever Forget about it. Later in the day when my partner had woken up he Received a call from Sister-in-law stating that I was being difficult and wouldn't move the car From my spot.* I think it's fair to Mention that there are plenty of spots In front of our house but for some reason she always wants to park where I park. She never calls anyone else who's parked in front of the house ,if they're parked there, to move their cars only me or my Partner.) Also full circle, I was cleaning out our family's "junk cabinet" yesterday during my cleaning frenzy and found my deer pen it was in fils work bag, and yes its mine says my rank and full name on it.(trust me it'll come into play) So after the call with sister-in-law partner starts berating me Stating that I'm a part of this family and that I should be helping everyone out nevermind that I pay 70% expenses and more then half of mortgage,among other things. I told him very sternly that I had let her know that she could come and move the car herself but I was currently busy. I also stated that I told her when When brother-in-law asked us to help out with his family that I would not be doing any favors I will not be dropping things at the Whim of a hat for sister-in-law. I have my own things I need to do I can't just be stopping what I'm doing just to help her just cause it'll make it more convenient for her. I also stated during the convo with partner that there are plenty Of Mother's whose Partners are also in the prison system Who have multiple kids who are doing just fine by themselves. And that sister-in-law needs to women up And handle things on her own. I also stated that I did not tell her to have the kids That was all her choice. I also stated that I have never asked or received help for anything during my time with him and his family. I've been a very self-sufficient independent person. I'd like to make it known that we primarily survive off my income alone most of his income that he gives to me goes into savings because I make a Remarkably large amount of money thanks to what I get from the VA and from my 40+ hr job in the federal sector. And with the hours I work I don't have to worry about childcare as I watch my daughter during the day, When partner comes home from his long day at work I will sleep for a couple of hours before I start my night shift, I also will sleep while my daughter is in school till I have to pick her up then I do housework and take care of my child till my Partner Comes home and cook dinner. The only reason we live with in-laws is to help them with the mortgage because the mortgage is so incredibly high in the area that we live in. So to reiterate I have never asked or needed help from any of partner's family. And I find it funny that they are now preaching that we're a family we need to help each other, Yet never once while I was living with them have ever offered help offer to watch a our child for the night or anything. Not that I would accept or anything just saying it would have been a nice gesture at the very least. But after partner said that we're family, I retaliated by saying family doesn't violate personal space and go in your room and steals your stuff. He sighed and said you're on that again and I said it's not just the ipod it is also the fact that your dad stole my deer pen. And that the ipod was and the deer pen is sentimental to me. Like a broken record I stated that the ipod had everything from my past that was irreplaceable memories of friends who are no longer with us and of our daughter's first breath into the world And the fact that he is not as mad as me about the fact that we no longer have the video of our daughter being brought into the World Is eye-opening. We ended the day on a sour note where he ended up sleeping on the couch and I in our bed. which has led me to write out my emotions because I just want to scream at him for 🚩#9: everytime he gave his free time to his family,when I couldn't even get 2 hours a day to just chat, the little bit of time I did get with him he just wants to "sit in silence" where he ends spends the time on tiktok. Also whenever I find out when i have a day off usually a month in advance. I try to plan an "US" day where its just me, him, and our daughter.spoiler alert I rarely if ever get to share a day off with him and when he manages one, on the day we had plans he says something along the lines of I have to do a tree trimmng job or fix a sprinkler head, he states "won't take long" then will call and say he'll be bit longer, rinse and repeat this and he spends the whole day at his clients house fixing his fuck up. no hes not seeing AP I have untraceable GPS trackers secretly hidden in all the vehicles, and no not illegal I legally own and insure all our vehicles at my suggestion due problems with the parents. Also partner owns piece of fils business so in a way its keeping track of work equipment in case it gets stolen. I've gotten to the point where the moment he says he's gonna take longer than planned I just leave with my daughter and do what I had planned like go to the zoo, museum, trampoline park, etc. Partner does not call me all day. im at the point idc,still frustrated but don't care. Also here's the cherry on the cake usually when me and daughter go out we get back right when partner gets home and is unpacking the work vehicle and he has this look like were you out of the house all day? Which is confirm with that very question coming from his mouth. I send our child to go in the house sensing where the convo was leading to and once she was out of ear shot. Again very bluntly I tell im not gonna cancel my day if your not gonna prioritize me and our daughter's time I had plans for today I told you in advance you made your choice of which is more important so while you used your day off to do an extra job I used my day off to make memories with our child. In true child fashion he says but I wanted to go to insert place too. You should've just waited to go on a different day. I tell him that he always postpones or comes up with a reason not to go (too expensive, too hot, will be crowded, blah blah blah) so instead I will make the plan to go tell him ahead of time if he takes time off great if not no sweat im still going. Boy he got so irritated for being called out especially when our daughter yelled from the doorway dad you always cancel on us. BTW daughter is unaware of partners affair on the day that I confronted him a close friend that I had told of my situation told me and partner that her daughter wanted to do a sleepover I was unaware this was her sneaky way of helping me. I just took advantage of the empty nest situation I'm sorry if this is more of a rant but my anger and emotions all over the place I'm half tempted of just ending things cutting ties with him and his family because they expect me to change my morality, which I'm very uncomfortable with that. Everything that I was taught respect the relationship your in, respect the law, dont do anything illegal etc these are basic common sense things. Mil, bil, and partner did not respect their relationships or partner. Mil and partner cheated (not with eachother gross but with other people). Bil left pregnant wife alone, due to have a baby anyday, to do something illegal. Also the mental abuse i deal with Partner's sisters bullying me by critiquing how my parents raised me, on my parenting, calling me a hypocrite on my morality because I was trying to pin a baby on partner (was not true he was given the choice to leave all the way up until before delivery) I'm just mentally, physically and emotionally tired. And separation is looking really like a good idea. I've asked for family and couples counseling, inlaws and partner say "we don't have issues you do,why dont you get it, your too needy and selfish always wanting to spend alone time with partner" Thats why I'm turning to reddit one to vent/rant and two for second opinions. I try to limit what I tell bout my family to my parents friends and sibs partly because I hate painting people I've chosen to keep in my life in a bad light also my dad and brothers wouldve have made partner and inlaws take a dirt nap in the desert if I had told them what they've been putting me through and what partner did around time of covid, no trace or evidence think scene from boondocks of the assassin who "took care of" the entire family.only my close friend has seen and knows the full extent of what I've gone through, so she could be a witness to my family if partner tries to spin this around in his favor. But also she suggest the reddit route so I can get opinions and see if maybe I'm seeing this in a different light like seeing this though a different POV. Any advice or insight would be appreciated. I know I most likely am gonna get hate for this next thing I about to say as well But when we found out she was pregnant with the second kid I said with a great deal of concern that she should "take care of it" because "if you arent sure if you can handle two kids while brother in law is away then maybe keeping this one isn't the best choice" Again family looks at me like I'm the devil for suggesting this.Just so It's made clear I was not pushing her to get an abortion I was just trying to make it clear to her that she is going to be having 2 kids under the age of 2 in her care While her husband is away. Also for further insight cousin broke up with baby mama while she was pregnant with second kid but after it was too late to do anything about it when baby mama announced her pregnancy (prior to the crime) i voiced my same concerns with her,in standard young dumb full of it fashion she state "we are in this ride or die" and now she cries to me saying she can't handle two kids and "why did i have a second one" baby mama is now regretting her decision.For any single parent taking care of two kids is a daunting task so I was just looking out for her mental health due to the fact that she would be Taking care of 2 kids by herself at the same time her partner was going to be going to jail for an undisclosed amount of time and at the time not knowing if she might have ppd like some people have after having Irish twins.

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Skepticism, Why It Exists and isn't Inherently Bad or Problematic
There's nothing wrong with being skeptical or wanting there to be evidence of something before you try it out. Quite the opposite actually, it is completely understandable and healthy, even beneficial at times. Before you buy something, you look for proof that it's as advertised and is actually worth spending money on it. Before you go outside, you probably check your weather app for evidence that the weather will change later and that you'll need to bring a coat or umbrella with you.
Skepticism is something that exists to stop you from wasting your time and resources and can even save you from getting mixed up with scams, fraudsters, and other toxic things/people that want to harm you emotionally, financially, or even physically. Which is why I understand why many of you are so skeptical towards shifting, especially for those of you who are very logical and those of you who've been scammed or manipulated before.
Like if someone tells you that you can achieve your wildest dreams and desires in the blink of an eye, without needing to lift a finger and all you have to do is change your beliefs or start meditating, for completely free with no strings attached...why wouldn't you be skeptical? It's very rare that you come across something that's high reward and low risk and on the chance you do, it's almost always too good to be true with the rewards being exaggerated while any risks and costs are downplayed. So again, I understand why many of you wish to have solid evidence that you aren't just wasting your time following a pipe dream. Especially if you keep seeing people swear that it's totally real while you've been at this for multiple years and it feels like nothing has happened for you yet.
And it makes sense logically too because if something is truly is real and possible, then surely there is evidence that points to its existence and validates any claims about it. So therefore, if shifting is real then someone who has shifted should be able to prove it to the people who haven't shifted, right? People say that there's no limit to what someone can do with shifting, so how come no one has tried to do something that would normally be impossible to prove that shifting is real? Why can't those people who claim to have mastered shifting use their ability to instantly give everyone else the ability to shift too? Why hasn't someone devised an experiment for shifters to do in order to prove that shifting is real?
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Subjectivity and Why Shifting cannot be Proven
The answer is that is because shifting is a subjective experience, not an objective one. Something objective can be proven with solid evidence because it is something that can be observed with the senses and can be observed scientifically. But something subjective cannot be measured with solid evidence and largely based on someone's own experiences. That doesn't make subjective experiences any less real, but because they differ so much from person to person, it's nearly impossible to prove them in a tangible way.
Additionally, the realities that we experience are also subjective and are unique to each of us, they are shaped by our own experiences, desires, and assumptions. You've probably heard people say "you're the only one who can shift you" and that "everyone's shifting journey is personal" and what they mean by that is that you have control over the realities you experience but you cannot control the realities that OTHER people experience, and vice versa. You can have influence over the version of someone who exists in YOUR reality, however you cannot influence someone else's consciousness which is the thing that creates THEIR reality.
Hence why someone can't do something that proves shifting, because while it might work in their reality, that doesn't mean that it will work in your reality, especially if you're working with the deep seated belief that something is impossible and that the other person will fail to deliver. And in my opinion, if it does work, it's because that it gave you the mindset that you're going to get your desire (proof that shifting is legit) because you trust that they will get it for you and created a reality where we both succeed. They are two different realities (yours and theirs), but your desires and mindsets (along with other factors) overlap so you can achieve the same goal in both of your realities.
But at the same time, if your desires and mindsets conflict (they know they can succeed, you think that they'll fail) then the two realities would be very different. One where they successfully proved shifting and got your desire, another one where they failed and all your doubts and skepticism were justified. If you control your reality, the places you shift to and the things you manifest, then you are the only one who is capable of proving anything to yourself. People can give you the tools and information you need to shift/manifest, but they cannot do it for you, which leads into my next point...
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Successful Shifters/Manifestors are People (not your Guinea Pigs or Genies)
The entire reason I made this post was because of something I saw on Tumblr today that was just so entitled and gross. I follow a handful of LOA blogs and one of them had posted about how she went into void state and used it to manifest her family going on a nice vacation and even shared a few pictures of it. But someone anonymously told the blogger that that wasn't good enough and didn't actually prove she used the void, instead they made suggestions for how she actually "prove" it to them. They suggested that she, among other things:

• show something "unusual" or "magical" happening because she manifested it
• share a video of them manifesting something out of thin air
• manifest the LIFA app and show off everything it could do
• manifest telekinesis and film herself using it to move things around with just her hands
• literally GO TO THE MOON and share a picture of herself there

Now sure, someone could do this things but again...just because it happens in their reality doesn't mean the same thing will happen in yours, especially if you have the mindset that certain things are impossible. And let's be real, if you don't believe that someone manifested a vacation in the void, why would you suddenly believe that they used it to give themselves superpowers or go to the moon?
And even if someone had photographic or video evidence that can do these things, you're much more likely to assume that it's edited, uses filters/special effects, or maybe is even AI generated rather than taking it at face value. Going to the moon is a very extreme example, but the same arguments applies for more "reasonable" things someone can accomplish with shifting/manifesting. People can manifest anything and have the photos, videos, documentation from officials that literally prove something happened and people will still find a way to call it fabricated or make up for clout or scripting purposes.
No one is obligated to share their experiences online, they're even less obligated to share personal information online as proof to be judged by total strangers, and they definitely are not obligated to help strangers get their desires beyond sharing a couple tips (if that). Too many shifters get bombarded with DMs from desperate shifters asking them to do all the heavy lifting for them or with skeptics who want them to drop everything to prove shifting to them. I myself have had experiences like that, including someone (clearly an anti/troll trying to "debunk" shifting) who straight up expected me to give them winning lottery numbers so they could become a millionaire.
We are not guinea pigs who exist for your experiments to prove or debunk shifting, we are not genies who you can command to get your desires for you, we're people with emotions and feelings of our own who just wanted to try and help people. I know most of you are mature enough to know this, but please do not take try to take advantage of people's kindness like that. Coming up with ways for people to "prove" shifting is more obnoxious then clever and I guarantee that you are not the first person to come up with your specific way of validating shifting (if it were possible that way, then obviously people would have done it by now)
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What To Do Instead if You Need Proof
If you want proof of shifting or manifesting, you can do whatever experiments you want on your own. Like "the ladder experiment" that was discussed by Neville Goddard, which exists to show how the imagination and subconscious outrank the 3D and the conscious mind's doubts. The gist of it is that you imagine a specific ladder and climbing the ladder for a few nights while you also tell yourself "there is no ladder" or "I will not climb a ladder" and after a short amount of time, the ladder will somehow find its way into your reality. I've also seen people do the same thing by manifesting that they receive $50 or $100 in cash, or even a $2 bill. Or using intention to wake up at a specific time without the aid of an alarm (I like waking up at 3:33am ✌🏽).
Basically you can manifest smaller shifts/changes in your reality that are small enough for you to believe in, but still random enough that it likely wouldn't happen without your desire for it to. And while it's not necessary to build up to bigger shifts, it can help boost your confidence and belief if you feel that you need it. You do because it shows how powerful you are and how you can get anything you want even if you're seeing proof otherwise.
It's much very effective and highly reccomend it for those who feel they need "proof", especially over just going into the DMs of random successful people and begging them to everything for you. Remember, skepticism and doubts are perfectly fine but using them as justification to be entitled and disrespectful is not. Keep that in mind when you interact with other people in the shifting or manifesting communities, please and thank you.
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edit: cleaned up formatting slightly and gave each section a nice header so it's easier to follow everything

I'm not one to carry a GoPro, take many pictures, or train for an event, but I like writing things up after. It's old school, but the stream-of-consciousness, no edits style can be fun and raw. An old, broken body will always voice it's displeasure, and that's part of the fun too.
Wednesday, May 22nd , 2024 to Thursday, May 23rd, 2024
45.3 miles
10,710 feet of descent (that be the downhill parts)
10,310 feet of ascent (that be the uphilly parts)
Route: start on South Rim,
down South Kaibab (7.4 miles, 4,700’ descent)
up North Kaibab (13.6 miles, 5,695’ ascent) arriving at North Rim
down North Kaibab (13.6 miles, 5,695’ descent) (wow, you go back and forth on the same trail and the distance and elevation match)
Up Bright Angel (9.5 miles, 4,314’ ascent, arriving back at the South Rim
Don’t @ me that those numbers are a little off… I used Phantom Ranch as my trail start/terminus because that’s where I stopped.
A little background, in 2019 I did Rim-to-River-to-Rim with my good friend. At Phantom Ranch, I seriously asked if we could just keep following the North Kaibab trail and do what we really wanted to do: Rim-to–Rim-to-Rim, but wiser heads prevailed. That was my friend, not me. Ever since, I’ve been thinking about doing the double crossing of the Canyon in a non-stop, or non-camping, manner. Why? Because that’s how I wanted to do it.
Wednesday I caught a flight into Phoenix, grabbed my rental car and shot north to the Canyon, arriving around 5pm at my hotel in Tusayan, the hotel and restaurant town a few minutes outside of the park. Check in was easy. I had stopped on the way to get a couple gallons of water and a Subway sandwich for the trail, so I did not need to grab dinner. After loading, and weighing, my pack (new CamelBak Octane with my old 3 liter reservoir) I ate ½ of the sandwich and made a few calls. Yes, my pack was definitely overdone. There was no need for 13 pounds.
Thanks subway staff! They got the bread wrong, and it tasted terrible. Of course I would still carry the other ½ sandwich into the Canyon with me, but I knew I wouldn’t eat it.
After closing the blinds and setting an alarm, I laid out for a little pre-event sleep. Thankfully I was able to get an hour or so of a nap in before my alarm barked at me at 8:50pm. By 9:15 I was on my way into the Park, and by 9:30 I had parked, walked to Bright Angel Lodge and called the park taxi. I’d recently learned that there was a Park taxi (only one of them), and they can take directly to the South Kaibab trailhead which is not accessible to normal vehicles. After waiting a while to get slotted, I was given a “be ready in 20 minutes” from the dispatcher. Inside the hotel lobby it was warm and not windy (that’s what real authors call “foreshadowing”).
A guy about 10 years older than me was in the lobby waiting for his daughter to drive her car up and get him. They had done Rim-to-Rim that day (North to South), and he was hurting bigtime. He mentioned more than a few times how the footing on the North Kaibab trail was terrible. Yes, backcountry trails on steep terrain are always pretty terrible. It’s ain’t a bike path. They rolled out, and I waited a bit longer until I saw the taxi arrive.
As is always the case, delays are real and always happen. There were supposed to be 2 other people being picked up, but they were nowhere to be seen. We waited, the taxi driver ranted, until I suggested we had waited long enough and hit the road. Driver guy had had one hell of a full-moon night and we chatted while he observed the speed limits of 15mph and 25mph very carefully. The roads were deserted at 10:15pm, but he said he was GPS monitored on speed which I can understand. He rolled right up to the trailhead, dropping me off, and picking up another hiker up who had been waiting for up to an hour. It was very, very windy, lots of dust in the air, a bit of sandblasting, but such is life. I had my Marmot rain shell on which I always wear or carry and headed straight for the trailhead.
I had turned on and started the GPS tracker that I had borrowed, so the only pause was to take a picture of the trailhead.
Hoping to get out of the wind, or that it might slack off the lower I got I started heading down the trail. SK is pretty steep, but the wind was not quick to abate. During my last trek here, I had shed my rain shell very early. Today I was going to keep it on for protection from the flying dust and debris.
A few switchbacks down I spotted some lights below me. Cool, someone to catch. Yes, I’m externally motivated. It’s not the best way to live, but it’s who I am.
The switchbacks kept coming, as did the log ladders and mixed trail terrain. Some sections were runnable, so I did. The switchbacks that hit at exposed peaks were definitely a sketchy. With massive dropoffs on either side and wind gusts that rocked the body, these points required some thought. Mainly that thought was “crouch down, so that you don’t get blown over the side to your death.” The darkness exacerbated the fear of falling to my demise. It wasn’t that bad, but mentally, and being alone, it was a thought I couldn’t shake.
At some point I caught up to the couple ahead of me, said a few greetings and scooted past. They had trekking poles and were navigating the uneven trail a bit slower than I was. In the darkness I missed Ooh-Ahh point and it’s famous view. Granted, there’s not much to see in the dark anyway. I had picked a full moon for my trek, but it was not illuminating much. I tried turning my headlamp off a few times because I love trekking by moonlight, but the shadows were too dark and hid critical details that could easily lead to a twisted ankle or maybe worse (steep terrain, dropoffs, ….. You get the picture). I wanted to get rid of my jacket, but was getting buffeted still and decided it was not quite the right time even though I was heating up.
I was doing my usual sipping frequently from my camelbak reservoir and it felt like I was stopping to pee every 5 minutes. That was concerining because it was coming out very clear which is a sign that fluids are passing right through.
At some point, I braked to a complete stop, having spotted a HUGE scorpion just resting in the middle of the trail. I am no fan of those critters, but it was easy to step over. Back to losing elevation I went. I don’t know where I was exactly, I had shot through Cedar Ridge and around Skeleton point where it opens up a bit I noticed a Katadyn 1 liter Be Free water pouch with filter. Both to keep the trail clean and, why not, I picked it up, drained it, and stuffed it in my pack. I already had one just in case I needed to filter water, but a spare doesn’t hurt. Whoever had lost it was well off trail by then and not coming back for it.
Finally I was able to shed my jacket, while moving, which felt amazing.
Turning one corner, I noticed even more lights below me that led to believe there were a few more people on trail below me. There was not, as I’d learn later, but it would have been nice had there been.
Soon I hit the junction with the River Trail which felt pretty soon. Then I was really shocked to come up to the tunnel at Phantom Ranch Bridge (or black bridge as some call it). I was really shocked. I’d been on trail for about 2 hours but didn’t think I’d come this far as mainly I’d just been putting one foot in front of the other and and making forward progress. This was a cool boost!
I crossed the bridge and headed with the flow of the river toward Bright Angel Campground and Phantom Ranch. At Phantom, I topped off my water reservoir and hopped back on trail within a few minutes. It was dark, the air was cool, and life was good. Why not make time?
Heading out of Phantom the trail did what it does and started moving upwards again. About the first half (7’ish) miles of North Kaibab trail are more gradual with 4% to 7% grades which is where one can put some miles in. The longest section of the trail without services is between Phantom Ranch and Cottonwood campground which are a little less than 7 miles apart. This is also the hottest part of the trail during the day. Several miles are in between towering cliffs where the heat has nowhere to go, this section is called “The Box.” Of course, at 1am, it wasn’t hot at all. The full moon was providing some super cool illumination on the cliffs, but I still needed my headlamp for trail details. Just above the box, there was a stream in the middle of the trail which I avoided. Wet feet can be the end of a hike. A few hundred feet up, it was clear that it wasn’t a stream but a break in the water line.
Uh-oh. The water line supplied the North side water stops. Would they now be shutoff?
I was still making good time and decided that, even with the waterline break, I would skip refilling at Cottonwood and go the next 1.4 miles up to Manzanita rest stop to refill. Made it to Manzanita and the water was still on, so I quickly refilled my reservoir and got back on trail. Now it was steep again with an 11% grade. I was thinking longingly of the 7 mile stretch between Cottonwood and Phantom Ranch and how nice it would be to jog that section once I returned to it later in the day. I still think it would be nice to jog that section someday.
I was starting to see headlamps above me from the people who had done an early start on their Rim-to-Rim treks staring from the North Rim. I loved the solitude of being alone in a very popular national park, but it’s also good to know that a few people are around.
I have read different numbers, but it is said that out of 4.75 Million people who visit the Grand Canyon every year, only 5% go below the rim (at all) and less than 10% of those folks make it to the river. That would be about 0.5% of visitors make it Rim-to-River-to-Rim or Rim-to-Rim. I can’t find any data on who many people do double that up and do Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim on any given year.
Let’s divert a bit and talk about how this can be done… Yes, there are many options. Some people hike straight through, they leave the North Rim in the dark and traverse to the South Rim over the course of 10-20 hours. Another choice is to overnight camp along the way at one of several campgrounds (reservations REQUIRED). I’m not against the concept, but the thought of carrying a tent and sleeping bag up the other side of the canyon sounds way too hard to me. Yet another choice is to reserve a cabin at Phantom Ranch where you can also get dinner and breakfast. Because it is a cabin, you don’t have to haul camping gear.
Speaking of Phantom Ranch, they do sell a few things to hikers including ice cold lemonade. A lot of people talk about it like it’s an elixir from the gods. Personally I would prefer to keep walking and not waste time stopping, buying and drinking something that needs to have it’s cup recycled at the location.
Back on trail, it was good to see people. Most honored trail etiquette - whoever is going uphill has the right of way, so I got to keep plugging along. It was finally light, and I was able to ditch my headlamp finally which was lovely. Up, up, up, I went. Seeing many folks who had questions, “when did you start?” “how are you doing?” and the obligatory “You’re ALMOST there!”
Note to the trail gods, I was NOT “almost there.” It was nice for folks to say it, but after every group said it, and I could see at least 1,000’ vertical to gain I started thinking “Do they think that I am almost there, or are they being incredibly nice?”
Answer: they were being nice.
At this point, the trail had more and more major step ups and log ladders, and my left knee was really hating me. Over the years, my patella, which does not track correctly, has ground away the cartilage from my femur, so any 90deg bend with force causes a massive stab of pain. OK, step ups would only be with my right leg from now on. Plus, as I was gaining altitude it was getting a bit chilly. Keep moving. My sleeveless t-shirt does not provide a ton of warmth.
I had tried to use one of the long-sleeve sun protecting hoodies, but I really didn’t like it. It just wasn’t for me. Another tangent, so much of this stuff is personal. What gear do you bring, what shoes do you wear, how many layers do you bring, what do you eat? It’s all a matter of trial and error.
At some point, I came across a group of Chinese couples who were descending for their R2. The guy at the lead of their pack asked me a few questions and finally asked “are you doing R3?”
“Uhhhh, yeah. At least I’m hoping to. Need to finish Rim-to-Rim first.”
For years I did not bring people in. I had a “NOBODY CARES. WORK HARDER” sticker in huge letters on my handstand pushup wall. After a lot of work on myself, it turns out that A LOT of people care. Even strangers from another country can care. The lead guy yelled back to the rest of their crew who congratulated me with every person I walked past. It was pretty cool.
The trail though? It didn’t care. It just kept going uphill.
Not too far from what really was the end, there was crew of about 5 guys who took up most of the trail and refused to share. There are always those folks out there. Everyone else was cool as heck.
And then… the final stretch, well, for this section, and I was at the North Rim. It was cold. I didn’t need water, so I took my selfie at the North Rim sign, used the GPS personal locator to send an “I’m OK” message and went back down the trail.
Unfortunately, my legs were more than a bit wrecked. That I could only step up with my right leg meant I could also only lower myself with my right leg when there were rocks and logs to step down from, and the muscles along my left shin were screaming in pain too. I was good and assessed if this meant I should call it a day and try to get a shuttle to the South Rim, but I could still move even if only slowly.
Down we go again… Step downs were not fun. Plant right foot, pivot on it, lower left leg to the ground below, repeat, repeat, repeat. Oh, and blisters were cropping up too. There is a water filling stop at Supai tunnel which I targeted for my refill and blister treatment. Once I covered the 1.7 miles to the tunnel, I took a break, pulled off my pack and dug out my blister kit.
I say “dug out,” but the Octane pack is pretty well organized. I simply located the blister kit in the little internal pouch, pulled out the tiny scissors and started lancing blisters. One circled the back of my heel where the insole ended. 20 miles to go and now my shoes finally show their true colors. After refilling my water and bandaging my blisters, I got back to what needed to be done, losing elevation. Damn I was going slow though. Way too slow but having to walk differently to avoid pain was a slow process.
I’ve done it many times before in many situations. There was no danger, I had food and water and was regularly ingesting salt tablets. It’s a mind-game now. The plans I had roughly sketched out where out of the window, and it would be a day of slow and steady progress.
The trail and terrain look so different coming down than going up and not just because there was now light to see.
As with all alpine type trails, distances are weird. I saw a building below me which I thought was the Manzanita rest stop, and it looked very close. Problem was, it was not the Manzanita rest stop, and to get to it required a lot more switchbacks and uneven terrain. It’s almost sad when you realize it’s a building I couldn’t have seen in the morning on the way up.
Around now, more people were coming up the trail too, doing a South to North version of Rim-to-Rim, with a few doing R3. Also came across a guy lugging a mountain bike across the Grand Canyon, because the Canyon is part of the Arizona Trail. You can’t ride a mountain bike through the canyon, so, if you are doing the AZ trail by mountain bike, you have to carry it across. That’s hardcore.
I passed a few R2 hikers, even in my slow state there are always folks moving slower, and heard some people talking behind me. I have a fragile ego and didn’t want to get passed this close to Manzanita rest stop, so I picked up the pace a bit. By “a bit” I only mean 1-2%. I wasn’t winning any prizes today. Thankfully, Manzanita appeared, and I was able to hop off the trail before getting passed. I said it, and I meant it. I have a fragile ego.
The two guys also hopped in to the rest stop. One taking the seat next to me at the picnic table and immediately pulling his pants off.
OK, he had running shorts underneath, but that did not stop me from remarking “it’s not everyday a guy I don’t know takes his pants off next to me.”
I didn’t need water, but I did use the time to apply a nice layer of sunscreen. The slurry of sunscreen, trail dust, and salt crystals is probably a great sun protection, but it’s kind of gross too. 10 minute break over it was time to get back on trail. I was not happy at this point. I should be able to run some of this, but my legs were not allowing any of that. The 1.4 miles to Cottonwood took just as long going down as they had going up in the morning.
Actually, it was still morning, around 9am or so (?), but I had been going since 10:30pm last night. At Manzanita I used the GPS to message that I was safe (have to say that or people freak out) but struggling and plans have changed. I’d probably be stopping for a while once I got to Phantom Ranch. That lemonade that I had distained earlier was sounding pretty darn good.
It’s pretty wide open at this point with the nothing to block the sun. My boony hat with neck guard was doing a great job of keep my head, neck and face protected, but nothing was protecting me from my slow progress. There were a lot more northbound folks on the traill, and they looked a LOT fresher than I felt. They kept saying “good morning” too which was incredibly surreal. Didn’t they know it was late afternoon already? Except it was not late afternoon.
They guys who had been behind me at Manzanita would leap frog me. They walked faster but took frequent breaks. Soon enough I hit Cottonwood Campground. No need to stop for water, so I kept going. There are a few uphills in this section, and those did not feel fantastic. Again, no danger, no worries, just keep moving the legs.
When I hit the part of the trail with the water line break I knew I was close to the heat of the box. It wasn’t the heat of the day, but it was later than I had hoped to be there. Drink, talk salt tablets, eat as I could, keep plugging.
My only thought when entering the Box was to get through the Box and into Phantom Ranch, which is really close to the end of the Box. The only way to get out of the box is to keep walking, and, at some point, instead of seeing canyon walls, the sky will open up to show the South Rim. Oh hey, the South Rim is 4,000’ vertical above, and will need to be dealt with at some point today. All in it’s time though.
My history of epic events has taught me some very critical lessons: I’m not very smart, and I can dig deep and grind out distance when most people can’t. It’s about turning inward and just making progress when the only thing you can do is make incremental progress.
I was probably down to 1.5 miles per hour now, and that was downhill. Ugh.
Every corner revealed a new section of canyon walls instead of open sky, and the Box was getting warm. Even with the roaring creek beside us this section just held a lot of heat. The trail varied sides of the creek as the 7 bridges criss crossed it. One more bridge down meant a little closer to a long break. More canyon meant another corner to hope to see the South Rim. By now, I was sitting regularly for a break. My legs wanted it, so I gave it to them.
The first deep drink from my camelbak was inevitably hot, and the 2nd and 3rd, which had not been exposed to the sun, were delightfully cool. I was cherishing those 2nd and 3rd sips.
Another corner, and still more canyon walls. In the distance I would see the 2 guys who I’d talked with earlier. They weren’t making that much headway in comparison. At some point, the canyon walls fell away and Phantom Ranch appeared. I really wanted that lemonade.
The steps up to the window counter at Phantom were not nice to me, but I got my lemonade, 2 ice cold apples, and a small bag of peanuts (more salt for the fluid absorption). There was a picnic table, in the shade, so I took it. Sipping lemonade and enjoying a couple of lovely apples.
Given that I had been on trail for 12 or so hours, with no sleep, I decided to set an alarm and take a 30 minute nap. You know you’re tired when you are old and immediately all asleep while laying the bench of an old picnic table.
I woke up when my person lightly scratched their nails on my shin to get my attention.
Except I was doing this solo, how they hell did they get here? Oh, it was a squirrel trying to climb me to get to my apple core. The mind is an amazing thing.
The Chinese crew was at Phantom too, and they were very interested in my condition. They were expats living in Toronto, and we had a nice chat.
After an hour at Phantom it was time to move on again. I wanted to soak my feet and legs in the cold Colorado river, but the Phantom access was upriver, so I targeted the river access that was across the Silver Bridge and up the trail a ways. As I left Bright Angel campground, the “pants off” guy from the duo asked if I had seen his buddy. They had gotten separated.
“You mean your friend with the blue shirt?”
“ummm, I have no idea what color shirt he has on, I’m color blind”
“oh hey! Me too… the dark shirt?”
“Yeah him. He went back to the store for something and hasn;’t come through”
“No, I haven’t seen him”
Crossing the Silver (OK, the “galvanized”) bridge, a couple of motor rafts drifted below. Maybe they had the better way of seeing the Canyon.
I wasn’t emotional at all, no frustration or anger. I knew that my plans were out the window, but the true nature of all of this was in dealing with what is versus what one wanted things to be. The section between Silver Bridge and the river access (before the trail turns left and heads up again) is pretty mellow. The section where the trail is beach sand is a bit challenging. Mainly it was all just warm. Very warm.
At the river access, a construction crew was working with some type of cable. I assume it was massive power cables, so I chose not to do my soak there. I know there are a few places where a creek crosses the trail up ahead. Thankfully there was one just a few yards up, so gladly stopped and dropped my pack. The cold water felt great on my feet and knee, and I took the time to do some more blister surgery.
Unfortunately, as I put on fresh socks, which I had debated about carrying, I knocked my sunglasses into creek which swiftly took them away. It was getting into later afternoon, still sunny, but I hoped I could get by with lowering my hat.
Back on trail, up I went. If I haven’t said “stead motion” a hundred times by now, just wait, I’ll easly get to 100 by the time this over.
The two guys came through this section and rested for a bit and headed out before me
Bright Angel trail is about 10 miles, and it’s roughly divided up into sections. It’s about 5 miles from Phantom to Havasupai Campground (the only water source turned on today), then it’s 1.5 miles to 3 Mile Resthouse, 1.5 miles to Mile-and-a-Half Resthouse (quick, do the math on that…) and then another 1.5 miles to the South Rim. The section to Havasupai was a slow slog. Somewhere on the Devil’s Corkscrew, which is a series of switchbacks that is really visible from above, a guy flew past me wearing full pants, boots, and a firefighter helmet while also holding a radio. It was impressive and disheartening.
The two guys were ahead of me, and I could see them on occasion, never catching up to them.
During the section where the creek runs in the middle of the trail, another shirtless firefighter blew past me. “How far is he ahead of me?” he asked, “I have to catch him.” You go bro.
Surprisingly I caught up to the two guys. We chatted for a bit wondering how much farther Havasupai was. We estimated at last another mile or mile and a half. This is where there is a creek on the South side, and the greenery and animal sounds were amazing. They kept me company as I moved along at my 1.5 mile per hour pace. Then I hit Havasupai, took a seat, took off my hat and pack, and rested.
The Chinese crew was here too as they had left Phantom well before me. The duo arrived too. I rested, filled my water reservoir, ate a little, and rested some more. By now I was using a stop watch to keep track of my stops. I will look at my watch but never remember the time. Seeing “10 minutes” on a stopwatch is much more effective. At 5:40pm, the duo and I pulled on our packs to leave and discussed how much time we had left.
“It’s about 1 ½ miles between each next stop (3 mile, 1 ½ mile, South Rim), with about 1,000 feet of vertical between each. At my pace of 1.5 mph, that’s roughly 3 hours plus stops, so I’m saying 9pm on the Rim”
Hey, I sounded like I knew what I was talking about. Confidence when speaking is critical.
I pulled on my pack and started up the trail. It was now early evening, it was cooling off, and the sun was not beating down. If you are paying attention, I wasn’t, you’ll notice that I forgot something.
About 20 minutes later I realized I had forgotten my hat. Oops, but there was no way I was going back for it. Somebody can get some use out of it. Instead I started thinking about hat shopping. What kind would I replace it with?
I had forecasted an hour of hard hiking between each waypoint, so I used time as my measurement. I should get to 3 Mile at 6:40pm, and I kept looking at my watch as I walked about. 6:01pm. 6:07pm, 6:20pm. Etc. etc. It was my way to guage progress. I also caught and passed the Canadian Chinese crew. 4 married couples who adventured together and trained together. We chatted for a while, but I need to keep my pace. After leaving them a French guy caught up to me “excuse me, did you leave a hat at the water stop?”
Yes, yes, I did.
“My friend is carrying it…” OK, I waited a minute for the friend who handed me my hat and scooted up the trail. No way I was taking my pack off, so I rolled it up and held it in my hand. I really didn’t pause in hiking, did take a short seat a time or two, and at 6:30 the 3 Mile Resthouse’s beauty appeared before me.
Normally when I hike long, my fingers swell significantly. It’s not sodium, it’s that edema pools in my fingers. I had noticed it for most of the day, but it, very surprisingly, had gone away in my right hand. Holding onto my had cleared the edema from my hand. Maybe I should look at getting some decent trekking poles with large grips in order to force my hands to hold something and reduce the swelling?
OK then, making good time all things considered. I went past the resthouse and took a seat on a rock. A young couple I’d been leap frogging with ended their break at the resthouse and started up ahead of me. There was no way I’d be catching them.
Throughout the day, I had noticed one set of shoe prints with a distinct “Adidas” logo, and I started seeing it again. Was it him or her? The dust of the trail held perfect shoe impressions, but only briefly, so it became a game to track the Adidas logo and guess which one of them it was.
You have to do something to pass the time.
It was coming on to to sunset, but this section of the trail isn’t the best aligned for sunset views, so I admired the vistas and searched for shoe prints wil also looking at my watch to see how much of the next hour I had left before I reached Mile and a Half Resthouse.
If you have never done it, pushing forward for literally hours on end is a reward unto itself. It takes WORK to gain 1,000’ of vertical in a mile and a half (approximately an 11% grade). This trail section is better than most with several decent sections, but there are alway log ladders and step ups to overcome. My left leg felt a lot better since soaking in the creek, and I was able to judiciously use in on smaller step ups to save my right leg. For the bigger step ups it was “adjust stride to put left foot at the base of the step up, step up with the right leg, then push myself up and over.”
At 7:30 I hit the Mile and a Half Resthouse, right on my adjusted schedule. After a brief sit, it was time for the final push to the Rim.
I had not seen the duo since Havasupai, and I had managed to catch a couple of people. It wasn’t a lot, but it was still a nice mental boost.
The Bright Angle Tunnel came out of nowehere much to my joy, but I forget that it’s further down trail than I want to admit. There was still time left in my day. Right about then I heard strong footsteps behind me. It was a guy I’d seen a time or two during the day in a party of four. One of their team was hurting, so he was charging ahead to get some food for the guy and bring it back down. That’s impressive.
He also told me that Maswik Lodge has a food court. By now, my thoughts had turned to “what am I going to eat when I’m off this trail, and where can I get some LEMONADE?”
Food court you say??? Hmmmmm.
The guy said we were 3 switchbacks away from the end. Granted, the last switchback is a haul from the trailhead, but it was good info. I came across two women, one of whom had pushed it too hard sensing the end, and was heaving at the side of the trail. They assured me that they had what they needed. OK, the woman who was not heaving assured me that they have fluids and clothing and headlamps after I had checked to see if they needed any help, so I kept moving forward.
Then, there it was, the buildings at the edge of the Rim! 20 hours to the minute instead of what should have been about 17, but life is what you make of it.
I didn’t see the big Bright Angel sign and wanted to get to my car, so I took at quick selfie at the trailhead sign and hoofed it to my rental SUV. it felt sooooooooo nice to take off my running shoes, socks and gaiters and put on my Teva’s. Pure bliss.
Of course I was shivering uncontrollably in the wind and from the exertion. After changing shoes, notifying everyone I was OK, and texting Monika and my kids, it was time to roll. My intent was to get out of the park, but, driving past Maswik, which looked open, I had to stop in. After acquiring 4 slices of cheese pizza I was on my way to my hotel. Stopping at the minimart in Tusayan, I scored a lemonade, a coke, and a Double IPA. All sounded delicious.
The parking lot was full, so I did the back lot which required a set of downstairs to get to my room. That was a challenge.
In my hotel I made a few calls. My 89yo mother had been more than a little worried. My person was incredibly happy for me and also no fan of the GPS tracking software. My kids were cool that I was still breathing. I enjoyed the lemonade and coke, AND the pizza. It wasn’t that great to be honest, but I loved it.
Then I hopped in the showing to erase 20 hours of trail dust and grime. I’m sure the hotel is used to it, but I felt bad that the washcloth was far from white when I was finished. At least I was clean!
And then I slept, and a good sleep it was. So good. 11 hours of bliss.
The next morning I took my time, packed up while drinking coffee, and walked over to the Mexican place next door. It was only 4.0 on Google, but I have rarely met a chimichanga that I don’t like. Deep fried is amazing.
Then I headed back into the park. The line took a bit, but it wasn’t too bad. Plus, my free veteran park pass meant I didn’t have to pay. The main lots were full, so my goal of getting a picture at Mather Point wasn’t going to happen. I was feeling pretty good but not like walking a mile or two. Nor was I interested in riding the park shuttle. A quick stop at the Market Plaza allowed me to find a replacement pair of sunglasses for the drive to Phoenix. Then I drove over and found a hidden parking spot near Bright Angel. I might not have been able to get to Mather Point, but I wanted a couple of daytime pictures.
After that, I pointed the car south, and then west for a visit with my friend Mark and their partner in Prescott. Based on their suggestion, I was able to book a short massage the next day also. Seeing their town, laughing about life, and explaining the fun I had had the day before was a fantastic detour. After my massage, Mark and I grabbed lunch, we were able to swing by Beth’s shop for a goodbye, then I was off for the 2 hour drive to Phoenix airport and my flight home.
Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim is now done.
Will I go back again? Probably. I know a couple of people who are interested in doing Rim-to-Rim, and, well, though the experience has been achieved, and in my core I am entirely an experience junky, there’s that little thing about doing Rim-to-Rim-to-Rim with style, and speed, that is brewing at the back of my mind.
It’s just a little thought though.
At least it’s a little thought for now….
45.3 miles
10,710 feet of descent
10,310 feet of ascent
19 hours and 51 minutes

It seems like this happens every so often on a few more hookup-y dating apps I'm on (Grindr and Feeld in particular): I'll match with/get messaged by a profile I've never seen before of some cute trans lesbian. They always fit the same general type: thin, white, pretty, very nice pictures but all solo. The kind of pics that COULD be legit dating app pics...or would be right at home as instagram pics that were stolen by some catfish.
The profile bio itself is usually v minimal in detail and more describes their relationship or sexual preferences than actual interests or personality, like a blank slate for the reader to project upon. And the real cincher is that within a few messages of the conversation, which usually feel a little off and lacking in the kind of real personality that chatting w/ an actual real person would have, they send a random "sexy" photo of themselves in undewear or athletic wear and then say something like "here's what I look like rn". Again, the pic is always perfectly shot and lit in an extremely IG or OF way. The few times I've not broken off the conversation there they always try to push things towards either exchanging photos (often blocking me outright when I decline) or they try to get me to meet up at their place and seem to entirely oppose a public meeting
What is up with these!? I can kind of understand the goal of the pic exchange ones, they're just trying to get trans women to send them nudes I suppose, but I'm really concerned at what the ones that try to get you to come to their apartment sight unseen are aiming to do! I almost fell for one of those on a particularly lonely evening before they pulled some weird "I'm naked in my apt rn so just come on up and undress the door is unlocked :)" shit that immediately set my internal alarm off at full blast

We met by chance at a mall a decade ago.
I was calm and somewhat withdrawn, patient, and understanding, but also occasionally emotionally distant. I focused on tasks and solutions, always looking ahead with optimism, and concentrating on future plans and goals.
He, on the other hand, was very emotional, sociable, often impulsive, wasn't afraid to admit his mistakes or apologize, but felt his failures deeply. He had low self-esteem, thought a lot about the past and tended towards pessimism.
Despite these differences, we got along exceptionally well. We were both very self-aware and had frequent deep conversations about philosophy, politics, and life.
We were the picture-perfect couple, spending all our free time together, sharing interests, and growing closer as the years went by.
After five years, we moved into a small apartment in a different part of the country. I was in college, supported by my parents, and he finally found a steady job he enjoyed, even though it didn’t pay much.
In this time he wanted to propose, but I wanted to wait until at least halfway through my studies because my mom didn't approve of him, and I feared she might cut off my financial support if we got engaged.
Four years later we moved to a bigger apartment, and I finished my studies the following year. In the meantime, M's grandmother passed away and left him a substantial inheritance, which was more than enough to cover a wedding for 100 guests and an heirloom family ring for the engagement. We even went to the jeweler together to resize it.
After my graduation, we were set to go on our first vacation abroad, and it was no secret that M planned to propose then.
I started planning the wedding before the official proposal because I wanted to secure a date in 2024. M was fine with this until I told my sister about the tentative date, and she spread the word to our entire family. M felt that I had taken away his agency, and this issue escalated.
The proposal itself was awkward. I had asked him not to do it in a public because I was shy, but he didn't fully understand it and felt restricted. He proposed on a crowded pier, trying to be discreet by pretending to tie his shoe, which made it even more awkward. My immediate reaction, a panicked “Not here!” worsened the situation.
After returning home, I focused on wedding preparations while he visited his dad (54M), who planted doubts in his mind about the marriage, saying it was a mistake, that I was controlling his inheritance money, and that planning the wedding before the engagement was emasculating for him.
During this time, M insisted on getting a gigant breed dog. I wasn't convinced due to our limited finances and the upcoming wedding, but I eventually agreed. We ended up with a male dog with a difficult temperament. Our schedules clashed: I worked from 8 to 4, and M worked from 2 to 10. The dog was mostly my responsibility, and I struggled with the mess, huge costs, and his destructive behavior. Three behaviorists couldn't help.
For months after getting a dog M and I barely saw each other and mostly spoke on the phone during breaks.
After a while M started texting female colleagues (3 girls in their early 20s). At the beginning it didn't alarm me since we both had friends of the opposite sex.
However, he began coming home from work later and stopped calling me on his way back. He was also dealing with a bout of deep depression, so I attributed his behavior to that.
I, in the other hand, was stressed, overwhelmed with work, the dog, and wedding planning. I was sleeping a lot and had little to no energy for anything else than those things.
5 months before the wedding, M woke me up at 3 am to confess he had slept with a colleague (20F) and wanted to move to his father's place with the dog. I calmly asked if he wanted to break up the engagement. He said he wasn't sure, so I gave him time until the next day to decide. He left the house, and I cried through the night.
The next day, he asked for another chance. I agreed, warning him it was his last. Less than two weeks later, I found flirtatious messages on his phone with the same colleague. He was lying about his whereabouts and spending time with her (although he did not slept with her again).
This emotional betrayal hurt me more than the physical one.
When I finally ended things, he didn't protest but acted hurt (almost like a victim) for the next 2 weeks.
Since moving out wasn't immediate, we lived together for another three weeks. One day after a heated argument, we had a long, honest conversation (that took us almost 4 hours). M took full responsibility for everything and explained his feelings of being unloved for the last year and his belief that I was only with him out of habit. He told me that my calm reactions only reinforced this belief. He acknowledged all the issues he needed to work on from his side, and showed me that he had started therapy. He didn't ask for forgiveness or a second chance but said he still loves me and he always will because I'm the love of his life. He even compared me to his dead mother.
Despite this, I will move out this week, but I suggested revisiting the topic after 2–3 months of “no contact” and therapy.
M seems optimistic about fixing things, he sees this as a chance to rebuild, take full responsibility for his life and the dog, and even consider better, future engagement.
In the same time he is still in situationship with his college, even though he said he do not see himself with her in the future. To be 100% honest, it's not that black or white because I told him to give her a chance as well, but he lie to her about my current relation with him and I feel it is not ok to both of us (me and her).
I'm hesitant, wary of the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” and unsure how to explain to family and friends, who now despise him, that we might get back together.
It's difficult because I know that if this situation hadn't happened, I would never have left M. From the beginning to the end, I was happy in our relationship and had no idea he felt differently. At the same time, I'm unsure if I can forgive him for how he hurt me and trust him again.
TLDR: Met by chance a decade ago, and we were seemingly the perfect couple despite our differences. Planned a future together, including a wedding, but issues arose when I took the lead in planning before the proposal, leading to tension. He proposed awkwardly, and doubts about marriage were planted by his father. Amidst this, we got a challenging dog, and he began cheating with a coworker. Confessed, I gave him another chance, but he continued the affair. After a heartfelt conversation, we decided to separate temporarily, both attending therapy. He's optimistic about fixing things, but I'm hesitant. Unsure about forgiving him and facing family and friends. He stays in situationship with his college.
What do you think about this? Where did he go wrong, and where did I go wrong? What would you do in my shoes?

This may be kinda long, so I added a TL;DR at the bottom for those who don’t want to read this much.
I (M24) have a very strong and vivid imagination. I picture all sorts of things throughout the day, and then my mind takes hold at night and gives me the weirdest dreams, I could honestly write a book of all the strange things, situations and people I have had dreams of.
It’s not uncommon for me to dream of people I don’t really have much of a relationship with, and sometimes even dreaming of people I don’t even know but have seen their faces. And, while sometimes these dreams can be funny or like my own customized horror movie, other times they’re super emotionally charged, and I wake up feeling like I’m missing someone in my life.
Another thing is, often, in my dreams, I can feel like days are passing, which can be disorienting when I wake up since I feel like a very long time has passed and suddenly I wake up with only like 6 hours of sleep. And last night was one of these times.
In my dream, last night, me and my family were traveling to go on some vacations, but the car broke down on our way there and we had to stop in a small city to spend a few days there while the car was fixed. We looked for a place to stay, and found this place that I can only describe as a meeting house. It looked like at some point it had been used for groups of people to meet and do certain activities, it had plenty of space for that. But inside we only found a guy, mid-twenties, and I immediately recognized him as a photographer I follow on social media. He’s not well known, has less than 2k followers, but the way he captures the world is mesmerizing, and his portraits are quite literally from another galaxy and another era, and he’s literally one of my favorites. For the sake of privacy though we’ll call him Jay.
Anyway, we talk to Jay, ask him if we would be able to pay him to give us one of the rooms to crash in for some time while we got the car fixed. He said he didn’t really need the money but that he would love to help us and host us during that time. So, as time went on, me and Jay started becoming really good friends, he introduced me to his best friend Andrew, and the three of us became a very close trio. I must mention that I don’t recognize Andrew’s face, which sometimes happens. He may be someone I saw at some point in my life and his face was just stored in my long term memory.
Us three spent a lot of time together, I praised Jay on his art and even went with him to different places to see the process of how he took his pictures, how he edited them and then posted some of them on his social media. Also, we had a lot of “sleepovers” where Matt and I would stay in Jay’s room and talk a lot or watch movies, etc. Eventually, Jay and Matt actually started dating, and I was so happy for them.
By this point, I had probably spent about 3 weeks in my dream, and I loved my new friends. But one day, Jay and Matt were driving to go do some shopping, and they got into a terrible accident, and neither survived. This completely killed me… I sobbed and cried for a very long time, I couldn’t stop. It seems like maybe this was too much for my brain, because I woke up soon after that, before any alarm rang. But the heartache followed me into the real world, and I can’t get it out of my head.
I need advice because I have this urge to send a message to Jay, even if he never even looks at it, but I feel the desire to tell him about my dream and let that sadness go. And I’m not sure this would be appropriate… Jay has never even heard of me, he doesn’t follow me, and I understand it may be very strange for someone you don’t know to tell you they had such a wild and kinda significant dream about you. Is sending him a DM about this a good idea, or would it be better for me just to store this experience away and hope the sadness goes away on its own?
It’s worth adding that similar instances have happened to me, but it’s always been people that knew me and I could express these feelings to them, they would hear me, sometimes comfort me, and that would be it. This is the first time it’s someone I’ve never met IRL.
TL;DR: I dreamt I became really close friends with someone I don’t know IRL and in my dream they died in an accident, leaving me really sad when I woke up. Now I don’t know if I should DM this person to tell them my experience and my feelings to let go of that sadness like I have done in other instances when I dreams of people I did know, or if I should keep that to myself and let it die on its own.

A newcomer to the strange town of Maelstrom finds himself embroiled in a strange festival dedicated to their Great Eel God
“Maelstrom! Everyone off for Maelstrom!” The lethargic voice of the bus driver rang out.
I felt a dozen seated eyes on me as I awkwardly stood up, mumbling apologies as I shuffled past the unhappy-looking man beside me and onto the aisle. I couldn’t help but notice the bus driver’s stare on me as I clambered down the steps off the rickety old bus. Nobody else had alighted with me.
“Hey, sir!” He called out. I gulped. Did he notice…?
“You sure you’re alighting here? Augusta’s two stops down.” He continued.
“I’m alighting here, that’s right.” I said, a small sense of relief washing through me. His eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say something else, but apparently decided otherwise and bit his lip.
“You’re letting the bugs in!” An annoyed voice shouted from within the bus.
“Alright, suit yourself.” The driver gave me a slow shake of the head before closing the doors. The bus drove on down the lonely road, spluttering black exhaust as it clattered onwards.
I took a deep inhale, breathing in the salty scent of the sea. It had been a long time since I was on the coast, or anywhere nice, really.
It was a short walk off the road and along the coast before I came upon it: Maelstrom. The tiny quiet fishing village stretched from the coast all the way up the side of a hill. The villagers had carved the slope up into terraces, each packed with houses, narrowing the higher up the hill they went. Each terrace had its own path, and they were connected by steep flights of stairs cut into the earth.
Something caught my eye. At the heart of the village, around halfway up the hill, construction was ongoing. It seemed like some sort of festival square, wooden beams and arches draped with unlit white lanterns. Two open-air wooden towers flanked the square reaching in height to the next terrace up, a wooden plank connecting it to that path. Banners with all colours of the rainbow were strung up between them.
My gaze then leapt from house to house, spotting a lone red one at the very top where I presumed the village chief stayed, but none of them showed any signage designating them as an inn.
 
“An inn?” The first stranger I’d gone up to asked as if it were the strangest question in the world. He was slightly taller than me, with dry matted hair and leathery sun-baked skin. “We don’t have an inn.”
“You don’t?” My eyes widened.
“Don’t get visitors around here. We don’t like tourists.” He gnashed his crooked teeth together.
“I’m not a tourist. I just want to stay here for a few days before moving further upstate.”
“Well, doesn’t change much. We don’t have an inn, a motel, or a hotel here.”
“Great…thanks anyway.”
Staring at the man as he limped off towards the coast, various possible solutions ran through my head. This wasn’t going to be fun.
 
My sore knuckles rapped against the next door down.
“Hey, sir, I’m new in town. I’m wondering if you have a room that I could rent for about three to four days.” I forced a smile for the umpteenth time.
“No tourist is going to live in my house.” The bald grumpy fisherman slammed his door in my face.
“I don’t even have enough rooms for my own family, run along.” The bearded man with a long scar across his eye shooed me away.
“Leave!” I heard the elderly lady latching at least three locks on her door.
“Sorry, no openings here.” A young woman said, only peeking her right eye at me from behind her door.
The setting Sun’s orange rays peeked through from behind the hill and cast a long shadow behind me as I went for what must have been my millionth door and tapped on it. It slowly creaked open.
“Hi sir, I’m new here. Do you have room for rent or something?” I asked. God, I was thirsty.
“Room?” A raspy deep voice emerged from the house. Elongated thin fingers about the length of my hand wrapped around the edge of the worn wooden door and pulled it open, slowly revealing the inhabitant to me.
The man was tall, at least two metres in height. He towered far above me, bending down nearly 70 degrees to avoid hitting the doorframe. I barely reached his hips, which were supported on disproportionately long and thin legs. A belt had been curled three times around his waist to hold up his baggy pants…or were they regular-sized?
“You need a room, you say?” His beady eyes surveyed me as he leaned out the doorframe, then grunted in annoyance at the sunlight reflecting off the sea. The brief glimpse of him in the light illuminated what his wrinkled, sagging oval-shaped face. Both it and his long neck were covered in black festering sores. He settled back halfway out the door.
“I think I’ve one to spare, young man.” The man said, scratching his arms. I had a sudden, very bad feeling about this situation.
“A-actually, I don’t need one.” I stammered out.
“So, you knocked on my door for fun?” He glared at me, his scratching on his arms getting faster and faster. “I think it’d be rude not to come in to take a look, wouldn’t it?”
“No, no, um…how many rooms do you have on offer?”
“One.”
“Ah, see, I’m actually renting for two people.” I said, before another thought rushed into my mind. “And we both cannot stand being in the same room with each other.”
“Hmm…well I think I could spare two rooms.” He pondered, biting on the skin of his index finger and pulling it a dozen centimetres away before letting it snap back.
“Did I say two? I meant three people total.” I nodded frantically. “Three rooms. We all hate each other.”
He stared at me.
“Welp, gotta go then.” I gave him a slight bow and power-walked away from the house as fast as I could.
Just my luck! I grumbled under my breath as I walked off. I’d chosen this town since it was so remote and unknown. Just one review on Google too (one star), saying it was weird but cheap. Everything lined up, or so I’d thought.
Now what? Addison was probably heading this way, if she hadn’t been caught already, but it would take three or four days. The thought of sleeping rough in such a strange town didn’t bode well, but if I had no choice…
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I nearly walked straight into a thick wooden pillar in the middle of the terrace path. Looking round in annoyance at this awful bit of town design, I realised I’d accidentally stumbled my way onto the festival square. Nobody seemed to be around; it was evening after all.
Rounding the pillar of the leftmost tower, I stepped onto the festival square. It was about 15 metres wide or so, with the centre having a massive rectangular platform raised slightly from the ground, stretching to the edge of the terrace facing the sea. Perhaps they’d construct some altar of sorts, I thought.
I stared into the sea, waves gently lapping at the shore. I blinked. For a moment, I thought there had been something utterly massive under the waves.
“First time seeing this?” A gentle-sounding voice came from behind me. I quicky turned round to see an attractive young man, looking to be around my age, with loose, neck-length black hair and tanned skin, dressed in a T-shirt and frayed jean shorts.
“Umm…sorry I was just taking a look.” I tried to explain.
“Yeah, don’t worry, you’re new.”
“Oh, is it that obvious?” I scratched my hair sheepishly, cheeks turning red.
“We don’t get many visitors, and people who live here don’t gawk at the festival square like that.” He said, running his hand along the wooden pillar of the towers. As if on cue, a tall woman with stringy blonde hair walked by, clasped her hands, and slightly bowed at the square, before continuing onwards without a second glance at us.
“What’s this festival about anyway?” I asked, glancing round at all the beautiful decorations in the half-finished square.
The young man stepped closer to me and pointed out to the sea, where the waters twinkled with the orange sunlight and where several boats were slowly pulling back to the small harbour.
“This town worships a god, who lives in the sea. Each year, we hold a festival, lighting this square up, and bring him to shore where we give him our devotion.”
“And he shows up?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright.”
“You don’t believe me, I get it.” He giggled. “Just look there.”
I followed his finger, watching it trace an invisible line from the square all the way to the coast, across dozens of houses. At first, I didn’t quite get what he was showing me. There wasn’t a road or path for this god of theirs, it was just various houses, somewhat haphazardly built.
That’s when I noticed it. These homes. They were repaired out of seemingly whatever materials the villagers could get, unlike the ones to the edges of the village or in the terraces of the hill. They looked awful, like two halves made from different materials and by different people had been awkwardly smushed together, but only houses in a rough wide line from the coast to the square. Almost as if a very precise tornado ripped through there a year ago.
Or a god.
“Well, if that’s true,” my mind was racing for explanations, “why would they rebuild their houses in the same place? Why not leave a proper gap for your god?”
“That’d be the smart choice, I guess,” he had a small grin on his beguiling face, “but people think its auspicious if their homes get touched by the divine.”
Touched? Just how big was this god of theirs, if he were actually real?
“When is this festival?”
“In two days. We’ve never actually had a newcomer arrive this close to the festival. Will you be staying?”
That stomped my current conundrum firmly back into my conscious thoughts and all I could do was sigh. “Well, I want to, but this place doesn’t actually have an inn, and people don’t want me to rent out a room.”
A twinkle seemed to appear in his brown eyes.
“You’re not going to believe this.”
 
“Hmm…”
I sat straight as a needle and sweated buckets as the short, middle-aged woman with dark eye circles and braided hair circled me, looking me meticulously up and down by the light of a candle.
At the other side of the small wooden dining table sat the young man, who I now knew as Erik, giving me an embarrassed smile, frequently averting his eyes.
“Mom, come on, isn’t that enough? Nick's fine.” He shook his legs anxiously.
“Hmm…he seems nice enough, not like a troublemaker.” She said in a wiry voice. Erik covered one side of his face in sheer awkwardness.
“Plus, he’s not bad in height.” She continued.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, throwing in a half-hearted laugh to avoid sounding rude.
“We like tall people around here. The taller, the better. It symbolises closeness with our deity.” Erik explained. The image of that grotesquely tall man staring at me in the doorframe crept back into my brain.
“We’ll let you take that room then.” Erik’s mother pointed to the closest of a set of three doors. “Rent will be $30 a day, and you will have to pay for what you eat here at the end of your stay.”
“Thank you so much!” I leapt up and shook her hand, feeling the weight of one solved problem being relieved, and at a price I could afford too! I’d been saving so much on my money that I’d even actually not gotten a real ticket for that bus ride. That would be solved once Addison makes it here. If she could without getting caught. Right away, I handed over the $30 in cash.
“Hope you like seafood.” Erik was positively beaming, an alluring smile from ear to ear.
“Don’t worry, I love seafood.” I said, sitting back down at the table again.
“Speaking of seafood, those useless fishermen caught less than half their usual haul today.” She said, bringing a plate of steamed fish to the table, the aroma making my famished stomach grumble.
“Mom, it’s just that they caught so many eels this time.” Erik said, clearly salivating at the food too.
“Eels are nice.” I said, causing both to look at me. “I’ve a friend, Kana, who’s really into researching them.”
“Research?” Erik’s mother raised an eyebrow.
“You know, studying them in jars, cutting them up after death, that kind of stuff.” I’d just finished the sentence, but it was like someone had taken a knife to the mood. Both the others at the dinner table now stared at their food, disdain slowly rising in Erik’s mother’s face.
“Um, Nick,” Erik cleared his throat, “eels are kinda sacred here in Maelstrom.”
I felt a deep sinking feeling in my gut.
“Sorry, really sorry, I didn’t know.” I said, looking over to Erik.
“Newcomers are always like this, right?” He gave his mom a light laugh in an attempt to defuse the situation.
“Don’t say it again.” She stared straight through my soul.
“Never will.”
 
The room they gave me was alright apart from all the junk that looked like it had been dumped in the corner and chopped apart with an axe.
“And that is?” I pointed at it, small candle in hand.
“Ah well,” Erik sat down on the bed, bouncing on the mattress a little, “this was my uncle’s room. But he did something we didn’t like.”
“We as in you and your mom?”
“We as in Maelstrom.” Erik looked down at his feet. “Look, there are some lines you don’t cross if you were born here, and he did.”
“And he’s…gone?”
“He left the village. Mom gave him three days to come back, and when he didn’t, she destroyed everything that he owned and has been looking for someone to live in this room for a while. To get rid of the scent, according to her.”
“Why not burn it, instead of just leaving it lying in a corner?”
“We’re not really allowed to start a fire so close to Storålens natt, even during the day. Inauspicious thing.”
“Sto-what?”
“The festival.” He let out a giggle. “Like I said earlier, we light up the square at night and bring our god in once a year. Every other night, Maelstrom is darkness incarnate.”
I peered out of the window, and he was right. The only light source was the dim glow from the candle in my hand. Everything outside the wooden windows had been swallowed up by the pitch-black night. I could hear footsteps in the dirt and some light chatter from nearby, but unease crept into me at not being able to actually lay eyes on those producing the sounds.
“That’s…creepy.”
“You get used to it. You can start unpacking now, I guess.” Erik motioned towards my bag.
“I don’t have much.” I chuckled softly, unslinging the backpack from my shoulders, placing it on the floor, and pulling my camera from it.
“Is that…?” His eyes widened.
“A digital camera, yeah. Smile.” I raised it to my eyes and aimed it at him. He let out a childish squeak and waved his outstretched hands to block his face.
“Don’t worry, I’m just joking.” I laughed again, lowering the camera and moving to replace it in my bag.
“Are you any good at photo taking?”
“Sure, I’m decent.”
“Hmm, I suppose it would be a waste to not take a picture.”
“So, you do want it, Erik?”
“Alright, Nick, you can take your photo. And you can delete it if it’s not good either.” He hurriedly threw the second sentence in.
“Smile.” I brought the camera up. Erik scrambled to a better position on the bed, crossing his left leg over the other and giving a slight smile. I clicked the button and enveloped him in a bright flash which made him flinch in surprise.
“Careful, don’t aim that out of the window.” He warned, before pushing that concern aside and practically bounding across the room to me. “How does it look? Not too bad, I hope.”
I flicked it over to gallery, staring at the captured image: his twinkling brown eyes, his smooth hair, and semi-confident look. “I think you look great.”
“That’s quite good. Uncle never took photos like this with his camera.” He rubbed his hands together in excitement.
“Did it get smashed to pieces?”
“He took it when he left.” He said with a wistful tone that clearly divulged some sort of longing for that man. “Do you have anything else fancy?”
“Just my extra clothes mostly.” I gave him an apologetic smile.
“You’re not traveling with much. Where are you going after these three days?”
“Upstate probably. Just waiting right now for a girl, Addison.”
“A…girlfriend?” He looked away at the floor.
“Nah, just a good friend. A partner of sorts.” I just hoped she’d avoided trouble so far.
“And you’ll be settling down somewhere in northern Maine then.”
“I suppose, yeah. You?”
“We’re not really allowed to leave. That’s part of why my mom was so mad about my uncle.” He sighed, anxiously fiddling with his fingers. “When we reach adulthood, all of us swear an oath for a lifetime of devotion to our god.”
Both of us fell silent for quite a few seconds before he awkwardly got up and cleared his throat. “I’ll leave you to it then. Goodnight, Nick.”
“Goodnight, Erik.”
 
They say the first night in an unfamiliar place is always sleepless. I’d managed to sleep in all sorts of places just fine since I left home seven years ago. But now here I was, staring into the ceiling, engulfed in total darkness now that I’d snuffed the candle out. Something about Maelstrom was off. It wasn’t just the weird customs or religion. The whole village felt wrong.
As I tossed and turned in the bed too short for my stature, strange sounds began to creep through the closed windows. I strained my ears, trying to make it out.
That was…hammering? Sawing? Soft chatter. Dragging wood and metal. Slowly, I got to my feet and crept to the window, pulling them open. The noises got louder. It was definitely construction, and it seemed to be coming from the direction of the festival square. Of course, as much as I squinted, I failed to pierce the veil of night that hid them. Why were they doing building up the festival stuff without any light? It seemed like a safety hazard.
Should I…take a photo with flash?
No, no, awful idea. Erik already warned me about the rules. Physically shaking my head as if to get that dumb thought out of it, I closed the wooden windows again and settled back in bed, the sounds of them building the festival square forming a monotonous background noise.
I’d just began to drift into sleep when I heard a different, louder sound. Boots crunching in the rocks and dirt, getting closer and closer. My mind shot awake immediately, but I stayed lying under the blanket. Just someone passing by with materials, probably.
The footsteps got closer and closer until they got to outside my window. Then they stopped.
I sat up quietly.
Sniffing sounds came from outside. I heard the wooden windows slowly open with a creak.
As silently as I could, I reached into my bag, taking extra care until I felt the metal blade of my knife and the remnants of dried blood on it. Tracing my finger along until it touched the handle, I grabbed the weapon and pulled it out, crouching low to the ground and very slowly creeping until I was beside the window, which had just hit the angular limit of its opening.
Then nothing.
They were waiting, I was sure of it. Waiting for me or waiting for something. I couldn’t see a damn thing, so I only had my ears. It was quiet except for the distant construction and the loud thudding of my heart, pounding at my ribcage. My hands were so sweaty I was sure I was going to drop the knife and alert whoever it was.
I could smell something vaguely fishy. As in actual fish. What the hell was happening? Should I go back to the bedside and light the candle?
Something big touched me on the front of the chest. Barely able to restrain a yelp, I hacked the knife down as hard as I could, cutting through it. Something heavy thudded to the floor and a deep howl of pain came from outside the window. Footsteps quickly retreated away from my window towards the festival square.
One hand still clutched on the knife handle in a death grip, I backed away until I felt my legs hit the bed. My left hand swept across the bedside until I grabbed the lighter, flicking it on and reigniting the candle.
I pushed the windows closed with my foot to make sure no light escaped and crouched down to the floor, searching for whatever I’d chopped off. My heart nearly stopped when I saw red blood staining the wooden floor. Following the trail, I spotted my target.
Still squirming on the floor was a severed human finger, at least fifteen centimetres long.
 
All the colour drained out of Erik’s face when I showed him the bloody mess the next morning.
We went out for a walk at dawn at his insistence, and I watched as he quickly tossed the finger into a small pond nearby, where the fish began to devour it ravenously.
“Don’t talk about it.” He told me grimly, and I could do nothing but nod. After a quick breakfast, Erik led me down the hill and into the more coastal section of Maelstrom. We navigated through streets filled with junk, where stray cats hissed at us and tired-looking villagers shot us glances as they went about the chores. Up close, these hastily rebuilt houses looked even worse. Walls barely held up corrugated metal roofs and gaping holes led water into them.
Finally, we arrived at the vacant remnants of a house that evidently never got reconstructed. Most of the items in the house had been cleared, as had much of the debris, leaving several piles of junk and the occasional weathered piece of furniture, where two others sat, a young man and young woman with dark tanned skin.
“Who’s the tagalong?” The woman asked, giving us friendly waves.
“This is Nick, he showed up in Maelstrom yesterday. Nick, my friends Jonas and Sigrid.”
“Nice to meet you.”
“We haven’t had a newcomer come this close to Storålens natt before.” Jonas mused.
“How exciting.” Sigrid said with a level of sarcasm I didn’t know was possible. “You looking to get eaten too?”
“Eaten?!” I exclaimed in alarm. “What do you mean?”
Both of them looked over at Erik.
“What?” He shrugged sheepishly. “There wasn’t a good time to explain yesterday.”
“You’re saying this festival involves people getting eaten? I thought your god just came ashore, crushed a few buildings, and got worshipped.”
“See this house we’re sitting in?” Sigrid said.
“Not really much of a house.” I pointed out.
“Exactly. The Larsen family used to live here. Two elderly parents and an unmarried son. The two old folks got eaten a couple of festivals ago, and their son finally went with them last year. Nobody was left to rebuild this place, so the village chief just collected their stuff and distributed it.”
“You need to explain what the hell happens.”
“Our god, a great eel, comes out onto land on Storålens natt every year.” Erik said, a deep frown on his suddenly crestfallen face. “Part of the festival…the most important part…devotees feed themselves to him.”
I gulped reflexively.
“They stuff him as much as possible, and he vomits out most of them before he leaves. Those ‘lucky’ ones are consumed, and we believe he takes them to his underwater kingdom to live for eternity. The Larsens got lucky, as they say.”
Words failed me in the moment. I looked back and forth at all three of them. Jonas gave me a sympathetic shrug.
“And those that get thrown up?” I finally said after what felt like an eternity of silence.
“They get blessed by the Great Eel God, physically.” Sigrid said.
My mind, overwhelmed by racing thoughts, snapped on a crystal-clear image. “You mean they get really tall and thin.”
“That’s one of them.” She nodded.
“Erik,” Jonas said hesitantly, “is your mother still insisting on feeding the Great Eel God tomorrow?”
He looked away. Both Jonas and Sigrid gave him empathetic looks.
“But don’t you all think that’s good? I mean, in your religion?” I asked.
“We’re supposed to.” Sigrid sighed. “But once you’ve actually…lost people or seen them change, it doesn’t feel good.”
“All the proper adults, our parents, the chief, everyone. They say it’s the nature of youth to have shaky faith in the Great Eel.” Jonas threw his hands up. “As if we don’t know anything.”
“Hate the chief.” Sigrid growled. “Spineless prick. When my grandma got eaten, he scolded me when I was sad. Said I was selfish.”
“We just have to go with it. Not like we can leave anyway.” Jonas continued.
“Why not?”
“I already told you last night. We’re not allowed to.” Erik said.
“Are there guards preventing you from leaving?”
“Um…no?”
“Then why can’t you leave?” The three of them stared at me incredulously.
“We can’t just leave our parents, you dick.” Jonas’ face reddened.
“It’s Nick. And I ran from my home when I was just 13. Sometimes, if there’s a situation where you just have to get out, you get out, even if it hurts. You have to let go.”
They all glanced at each other, except Erik, who stared at the ruined ground and refused to look over.
“And has your life been good since you ran away?” Sigrid asked.
I took a sharp inhale. “Well, no, it’s been pretty awful to be honest, but it was better than staying with my mom and dad. I’m just saying, really think about it.”
We stayed talking for a while, them prodding me for life details and me prodding them on this festival, but nothing substantial came from it. Sigrid and Jonas showed me around the coast, and before I knew it, the Sun was setting again. We bid goodbye to the two and Erik led me back up the hill through the steep terrace staircases and back to his home.
As we reached the terrace where his home was located, our path was blocked by two figures. I recognised the first man immediately. Looming menacingly before us was the same tall, thin man that I had rejected the room rent offer from, his saggy face with disgusting black sores moving closer to me.
“Village chief!” Erik greeted immediately, standing up straight.
“He’s the village chief?” My disbelief that my luck could be that bad rising.
“Is there a problem?” The village chief rubbed his ten spindly fingers together.
“Oh, no, chief. I’d just assumed that the village chief would be staying at that lone house up there.” I pointed to the highest house on the hill, roof glinting with sunlight.
“That’s just where Old Henriksen stays. Just a weirdo who never shows up.” Erik explained. A weirdo even by Maelstrom’s standards? That I had to see.
“Through my tenure as chief and my predecessors before me, it was deemed untenable to move Old Henriksen from his rightful home. But enough about that. I see you have decided to stay, newcomer.” He said.
“Yes, with Erik here.”
His lips curled open, but not into a smile, instead showing his rotting pointed teeth.
“I recall you saying you had two companions with you who required separate rooms. Yet young Erik here only has one room to spare, that of his rotten uncle.” His breath was pungent like rotting fish and meat.
“They decided they hated this place and left for Augusta.” I stood as strong as I could, barely hiding the sheer panic telling me to run for the next town.
“Very well. You are welcome in Maelstrom, even to observe Storålens natt, but we will not allow you to participate.”
“I understand.” Not like I wanted to get eaten by this supposed eel god anyway.
“And you will not take any photographs or videos to share with the outside world. This is our most sacred ceremony…I hope you understand for your own good.” He slapped me on the shoulder with his hand, fingers wrapping halfway down my spine.
“Of course.” I said, stepping back to dislodge the physical contact. “We will be hosting it here tomorrow night.” He gestured at the festival square one terrace step down. Work had been done on it since yesterday. A wooden roof structure with angular bent pillars covered the rectangular platform, now covered with a glittering piece of purple velvety cloth. The decorations of unlit lanterns and banners was far more complex, criss-crossing over and hanging from every available height.
“One more thing, don’t forget not to use any bright lights at night, or there will be consequences.” The chief said, breaking into a smile. “At last, after having been so devoted for so long, I will finally get my chance to join our god down in his eternal abyssal domain.”
“You’re leaving tomorrow?” Erik asked, surprised.
“Yes, Edvard here will be taking over.”
The man behind him, even taller and thinner with crumpled scratchy skin, nodded in a way that was somehow threatening. He scratched furiously at his face, where the skin was clearly peeling off and red raw.
“You better listen, newcomer.” His voice was thin and croaky.
His hand. Where his index finger should be was instead bandaged and stained with dried red blood.
“Lost your finger recently?” I stared at him. He returned the gaze with his beady dark eyes.
“Fishing accident.”
 
The exquisite taste of the salmon was almost enough to make me cry.
Erik’s mother looked at me amused as I scarfed down the food as soon as it touched my plate.
“See, son? My cooking is as good as it still is.” She boasted with the proudest grin on her face.
Erik stared sullenly into his own plate of food, taking the smallest nibbles once in a while. As dinner went on, his mother talked constantly to both of us, but he never replied to her once.
“What are you so angry about?” She finally asked. “Is it about Storålens natt?”
He didn’t speak.
“Erik, I’ve been waiting for this chance for a long time. I know your faith is shaky.”
Silence.
“Your father got lucky that day, you know?”
“He did. But we didn’t.” Erik mumbled just loudly enough for us to hear.
“Stop talking nonsense, Erik.”
“He got to go to his eternal underwater kingdom. We had to live life without him.”
“You should be happy for him.”
“I am. I’m just not happy for us.”
“I know you miss him, Erik. I miss him too.”
“Then why did you let him go?” He was shouting. “Why did you let the Great Eel God consume him?”
“It’s what he wanted.”
Erik silently shook his head, staring down at the table. “He was being selfish, letting us go.”
“Erik, what are you talking about?” His mother snapped at him.
“How much of our money did you have to spend on this?” He jabbed a fork at the salmon.
“Having a guest over is a special occasion.” His mother awkwardly glanced at me.
“Uncle Jakob had to get two jobs to help earn us enough money. He saw Storålens natt for what it was. That’s why he ran away.”
“That idiot abandoned us!” She slammed a palm on the wooden table. “He left us to have to fend for ourselves.”
“Isn’t that what dad did too?”
The sheer boiling rage displayed across her face made me want to cower under the furniture. She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him with little resistance to her room and slammed the door shut. I heard loud cursing and the sound of palms colliding onto flesh. My appetite suddenly gone, I hurriedly retreated into my room.
About half an hour later, I heard the door open and slow footsteps shuffle into Erik’s bedroom. I heard him crash onto his bed and softly sob for a long while. Part of me urged me to go over to talk to him, comfort him, but when I stood up, nothing but a huge wave of anxiety and fear washed over me.
Giving up on that thought, I sat back down on the bed and took my camera out in the dim candlelight. Clicking into the gallery immediately took me to the pleasant photo of Erik last night.
Could I? Should I?
Two sides of my mind were in fierce debate. I’d enough run-ins with the law not to risk it. Not to mention the village chief had warned me of ‘consequences’.
But listening to the quiet weeping next door, I had to. I was going to capture evidence of this accursed festival tomorrow and get some sort of law enforcement intervention.
 
Read PART TWO here.

So I started min/fin spray combined with mico needle once a week about 3 years ago and have maintained pretty well in the front and gained a bit in the back. Never had a shed before. I read a post of a guy that micro needles and used his spray immediately after he needled ,instead of using on an off day as recommended, and had some great results. So about 2 months ago a I started doing that, using fin/min immediately after needing, and now I'm not sure if I'm losing ground or shedding. It's pretty alarming as I was maintaining decently and I'm worried I may have messed up. Sorry there's no pictures but any help would be appreciated.

Hi there Reddit-users and fans/posters of this community...first I want to apologize for this very long post...but I just wanted to clear some things out...to get straight to the point...I absolutely love the taste and the feeling of fresh warm cowpoo/cowshit...i've done so in more than 30 years, cause when I was in my early teens i thought young heffers were so friendly and fun to be around, and I spent some days in the summer in a lot of different fields/pastures..now that I'm MUCH older, I have come to understand cows and heffers, their reaction towards humans...and I'm not the slightest scared...now to the interesting bits...I'm a city man, and have no relations to farming whatsoever, but close to my hometown theres an few milking-farms and one in particular which I visit NIGHTLY a few times each month all year round ( better during autumn/winter when the cows are inside ). Ofcourse its trespassing...but i sneak and make no appearance or noise anywhere, and even if I've almost been seen a few times, because of triggered alarms, nobody has actually caught me in over 10 years!!! I also make sure I leave no evidence of my presence, EVER, and with my very late nightly visits, everybody is sleeping...apart from the cows that have noticed me ofcourse...but they are not scared..some are "jumpy", but most of the time they seem to accept having a dude standing behind them with a face close to their creamy, slimy and shitty assholes..but I ONLY eat and get smeared in their LOVELY dung and feces ( and the wet ones are really, really tasty flowing freely into my mouth )...
Since theres a lot of discussion and questions on this reddit community I can say that I'm over 50 years old and I've still never been sick, felt nausious, had any stomach problems after devouring the milking cows creamy and runny poop...but i also usually dont swallow, but spit out most of it, so theres maybe an explanation. I also avoid the more solid dung and I never drink any urine...I also dont have any sexual actions with the animals, and i never use any violence, even though I've been kicked, headbutted and even almost rammed a numerous times...but thats something I've always prepared for. Since its a complete natural thing for a heffer to stand up, raise its lovely tail and just empty their stomach/stomachs, its seldom any problems, and I'm on my knees or standing just directly behind them, getting the feed of HEAVENLY, often sweet and some what milk-tasting fresh cowdung!!! And since I'm loving it and is very aroused the jerkoffs I have are DIVINE, even though getting an orgasm/ejaculation is not always possible since all the cows are "free going"...and they sometimes just walks away. But theres always another cow laying down...right? At the dawn of light I'm usually hurrying home, for a extended and intense shower, that is a ofcourse absolute necessity, when doing what I do, and sometimes I'm completely drenched..
So...there you have it...coming to pictures and video...I have made a few very long vids ( 1,5 hrs ) of shitting cows, but i do think they are way to long to share to this community, but I can share some shorter clips I've downloaded from Youtube, TikTok ( theres a guy who seems to love watching cows shit, he does not eat the dung, and he keeps his distance/outside of the pastures )...but I have most of his vids and can share them if you like... This has been my first and longest post to your community, will not write anything more of this length, only share/post some vids/images, for all you to enjoy!! And I'm not any lawman, I'm completely truthful in all my words, I do not want to inform anyone of my location, other than I live in Sweden, and its a free world, its up to you and your actions, but i do not recommend my actions to anyone...but tonight after the break of darkness I will visit the most heavenly shitdroppers on the planet ( and I do not care of any other animal feces either ), and I hope since its summer-temperatures at least maybe 100 animals are indoors , and I have not triggered any alarms during my last visits to the farm...just got to be vigilant, sneaky and careful, so I hope and expects my extacy-filled cowpoo-loving night will progress without any hickups!
Sorry again for this extremely long post and story ( all true ofcourse ), and I do understand the complete "perversiness" of my actions, but since i dont injure any animals or anyone, I just indulge in the cows most natural behavior, I'm completely aware of my situation! THANX for this great community ( cowshit ) and others alike...Its wonderful to see there are others who has this kind of nasty fetish, and i LOVE the images and videos you share!! "Keeping it FRESH"...Yours sincerely, "the ULTIMATE cow-lover"

Hi all. I ordered an online delivery from Tesco which included vodka. I've never ordered booze online before. It was still in the security anti shoplift case. I cut this to get it out which triggered the alarm. Eventually I had to hit the alarm part with a hammer and chisel to shut it up.
Is this normal or should the anti theft system have been removed at the store? Or should the delivery guy remove it? He never checked id. If not, how is one meant to remove it at home without all the faff and noise?
Edit: I removed a link showing a picture of the alarm. I can't figure out how to upload this as I'm on mobile.

Getting around to telling a story that happened to me, and has always sat and dwelled in the back of my mind. Always wondering if it was a figment of my young, fragile imagination, or if I had truly stumbled upon something more sinister?
During my adolescence, I wasn't particularly the most fortunate, but I would make the most of every situation. My mother would work extremely long and grueling hours at our local supermarket to make sure that my brother and I had everything we needed—food, clothes, and the essentials. While my disabled father would try his hardest to make my life, as well as my mother's and brother's lives, a living embodiment of chaos. On the opposite end of the wage gap, my grandparents were very well off. Any opportunity we had, my brother and I would go over to enjoy the good snacks, television, and their ever-so-comforting presence. It also gave my mom a much-needed rest from having to raise her two sons alone while constantly being berated and ridiculed by a man who never deserved her time, let alone whether he even wanted her or us to begin with.
I grew up in a predominantly small town, but my grandparents, who lived about thirty minutes away, lived in an even smaller town. One main road connected the towns, as if that road were the towns’ heartbeat. They lived in the back of town, heading towards the sticks. As an adult, you can find peace and tranquility in the silence the night brings in a town like that. As a child, though, it always left me with a lingering feeling of dread when nighttime came.
They would always pick us up early in the morning, early enough to get breakfast from McDonald's so we could eat in the car as we drove our way a few towns over. We took the main road off to climb our way up the hill where the house, as well as the property, resided. Although mostly burnt up by the sun, the land itself always brought me some sort of internal peace, as if when the gates opened and closed it was a safe spot for me. We had set our things down and begun to get our blankets, clothes, and whatnot all set up for the weekend. The day continued like any other, with a house filled with laughter, mischief from me and my brother, and plenty of cartoons.
The night had finally begun to peer its head over the house on the hill, watching the orange, blue, and pink sky slowly being swallowed by the stars and the moon from on the porch. At the time, my brother would sleep on the pullout bed that we had in the living room, and every time we would stay the night, my grandfather would sleep in his recliner, as if he were watching us sleep, like a wolf to its cubs, protecting them through the night. They deemed me old enough to sleep in the empty guest bedroom, and I was thrilled to say the least. A kid with his snacks and TV to watch as much as he wanted. What was there to hate about it?
I always had a vivid imagination when I was young. Turning a space that would be considered by most as empty and devoid of existence into a lively picture that was painted in my own head. Always thinking, always imagining, always dreaming. But I am confident that what I saw was not a dream, but instead a glimpse of hell peeking around the corner. Taunting me.
While I stirred in the middle of the night, at some point my mind finally drifted and lulled me to sleep. I woke up with a pit in my stomach. Without hesitation, I sat up, as if the undisclosed tension in the air was enough to shake me to my core. I got out of bed and opened my door to an empty home—not empty in the sense of furniture and belongings, but empty and void of the soul and life that had filled the house the day before.
Determined to uncover what was happening, I meandered through the house, discreetly checking every door, room, and couch, but I found no one. As I made my way to the kitchen, that pit in my stomach unfortunately became validated. The back door in the kitchen that led to the washer and dryer was ajar. I remembered being told as a child that I wasn't raised in a barn, knowing full well anyone that left a door opened, especially an door to the outside would get an ear full. It had immediately set off alarms in my head. Creeping my way over to the door, I could hear a breeze. As I entered through the door, my fear reached its climax. The door to the laundry room was also wide open, leading to the carport that still contained my grandpa's beloved van. The door to the outside is one of those air-hydraulic ones; when pushed open, it would close on its own unless the metal piece connected to it was pulled, preventing it from doing so. The piece had been moved. Utterly petrified, I took a step outside, surveying my surroundings. But the only thing my mind could retain was the sight of one of my grandfather's crocs lying there before I was dragged back into the clutches of reality. Or so I thought.
I can recall what happened next with crystal clarity; there are no changes in the stories. rhythm, down to the last word. My eyes shot open, glued to the ceiling as I almost audibly let out a sigh of relief, knowing it was all a dream. I rolled over onto my side to readjust and get cozy when my whole perception of life as a child shifted. There he was, standing in the open doorway, gazing at me with a sickening and sardonic smile, as if he were mocking me. I was petrified and vulnerable, only able to stare daggers back at him. Rather than looking grotesque and disfigured, he had the appearance of the uncanny valley. A man I saw as a protector and father figure was cast in a cloud of hate. He—it—looked just like him: his goatee, his stance, his bald head with a few dangling hairs begging to be cut. But it was his eyes that told the story. That was not my grandfather.
Now, almost in a trance, I was unable to move. The fear coursing through my being like a disease flowed its way through my body, no, my soul. I was never able to speak to it, to interact with it. He only smiled, he only smiled at me. Almost coming to terms with my fate, I awoke.
I awoke to my grandmother at the foot of my bed, looking concerned. Of course, my initial reaction was to cringe backward, fearing she had also come for me. "Honey Bunches, are you okay?" "You gave us quite the scare with all of that screaming," she said softly, understanding full well that something had happened. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "Yeah, Mamaw, I'm okay. It was just a bad dream, but I'm better now." She guided me into the kitchen to eat with my brother and grandpa. We had our usual small morning talk, me finding it hard to... let the love that was in that room lift my spirits. As Grandma and my brother walked toward the living room to put on cartoons, my grandpa stopped me before I could follow. "Hey, buddy, did you, by chance, go out last night and leave the doors open?" "It's okay if you did, but please close them next time; you weren't raised in a barn, after all." Chuckling off a statement that meant nothing to him but brought hell down on me. Only able to agree with what he said and apologize, out of fear and confusion, I didn't tell him. Wanting to believe it was truly just a figment of my imagination, I finally made my way to the living room, being greeted by my family. As he followed me in, he told us all that he would be doing some yard work and if we needed anything, we could run out and get him. Hearing his socks shuffle along the tile as he headed to the back, he raised his voice to get my... grandmother's attention from the back of the house. "Hey, honey, where did you put my shoes?"

Trent Alexander Arnold was dribbled past more than any defender in Europes top 5 leagues
Having watched all of Liverpools games and heard the media narrative of sky sports (especially Carragher and Neville), is there a difference in opinion from fans outside of Liverpool to the narrative of the media when it comes to Trent Alexander Arnold?
I'm not going to deny there are qualities he posseses that players dream of but they haven't been on show consistently for a long time.

• Offensive Contributions: Trent has scored 3 goals and provided 4 assists in the Premier League from 28 games. Given his role and the creative freedom he enjoys, these numbers are underwhelming. To put it in perspective, he has the second most shots among defenders in the PL, yet he has fewer goals than Ben White, who has had less than half the attempts.
  
• Defensive Struggles: One of the most glaring issues is that Trent has been dribbled past more than any other defender in Europe's top 5 leagues, with a staggering 60 instances. This highlights significant defensive vulnerabilities, which cannot be overlooked. His ground and aerial duels are quite poor and well below a lot of PL full backs, especially the ones in the top 6 sides.
  

Liverpool fans often cite his injuries as a reason for his diminished attacking output this season. However, this doesn't explain his defensive shortcomings. Even with missed games, being dribbled past more than any defender in Europe's top leagues is alarming. He does have a decent xA and big chances created which you can attribute to poor finishing but he's 5th in Liverpools assists, so there is a disconnect somewhere, especially when he's seen as the main playmaker.
Looking at the broader picture, Trent has been quite poor this season. If we reflect on the 2022/23 season (although he did end the season well), he was arguably even worse, then in 2020/21, he was average to poor overall. This brings up a critical question: Why is there a persistent narrative that he is a top-tier player when his stats and performances over the last few seasons suggest otherwise?
Outside of stats, he's been poor in games, if you look at each game individually, there haven't been many top performances lately, especially outside of the dates I mentioned. I looked at some of the player ratings for each game and I'm not seeing a top full back, in fact if you read it game by game, he comes across as exactly what I see, a player that has not created a lot but struggles defensively over the past 2 seasons.
He did show glimpses of his old self in the first half of the 2021/22 season, but since then, his form has been largely average to poor. The constant media hype from pundits like Carragher and Neville seems increasingly unjustified given the empirical evidence.
I know Liverpool fans get quite defensive about Trent but surely if you look at this objectively with individual performances, stats or player ratings, you can see, he's not performed at a top level consistently for 3 of the last 4 seasons and arguably in 22/23, he finished that season without doing anything special.

Hello reddit community,
We have just returned from a fantastic 16-day trip to Japan. Here is our experience, I hope it helps some of you with planning your trip!
Places visited
· Osaka
· Nara
· Hiroshima
· Miyajima
· Himeji
· Kanazawa
· Takayama
· Tokyo
About us
Myself (36yr F), husband (39yr M), and our kids (10 yr old daughter & 7yr old son) from Melbourne, Australia.
Likes
beautiful nature, exploring new areas, shopping, anime (husband), Pokemon (kids & husband), Japanese food and culture. We went to Japan 10 years ago and visited Tokyo, Nagoya, Kyoto, Nara, & Hakone, so this time we wanted to return to some of our favourite places and experience some new ones. I know this is an unpopular opinion but Kyoto was actually our least favourite place of our last trip, so we opted to skip Kyoto for this one.
May weather
We specifically chose to travel in May as we wanted to avoid the crazy crowds in the peak times and have mild weather. The weather while we were there was average 21-28 degrees celsius, perfect t-shirt and shorts weather. In 16 days we had only 3 days with rain (2 days of off and on drizzle in Takayama, and 1 day of torrential rain in Osaka).
Packing
We wanted to pack light (no suitcases, because there are so many stairs and finding lifts is time consuming and involves a lot more steps). We took 4 x backpacks (1 each) and 2 x hiking back packs (for all our clothes). Packed clothes for 5 days. I packed 2 x jumpers and 2 x pants each, but 1 each would have been fine. 1 pair of good runners each. kids took 1 teddy each. 3 of our hotels we had washing machines in our rooms, and the others had a laundry room with coin machines. I did washing 3 times. Clothing wise, Japanese people dress very conservatively, so we took that into consideration when packing. Especially because I live in activewear normally. I saw no one wearing activewear at all!
Flights
We flew from in and out of Osaka from Melbourne, which we got on sale for $575 AUD return each person
Transport
We travelled exclusively on public transport. Mostly trains, Shinkansen between major citites, trams and some buses. We found public transport to be easy to navigate, well signed in english also, and frequent. My husband broke his foot badly 1 year ago and still has issues with it, and with 2 kids in tow we always opted for getting on a train to get us closer to where we needed to be, even if it meant transferring train lines a few times. The IC cards come in super handy for this!!. We saved so many steps each day by doing this, and saved a lot of complaints from the kids about tired legs!
IC cards - My husband and I both downloaded Suica cards in our Apple wallets on our iPhone, its super easy to do and super easy to top up. Had no problems topping up with AMEX or Mastercard that was in our apple wallet. The only issue we had with the digital cards is that you chew through so much phone battery taking pictures and videos and using google maps there were many days we were stressed about our phones dying. So make sure you always take a power bank with you just in case.
Kids IC cards - You cant get digital kids IC cards, and our kids don't have their own phones either so I picked up 2 x kids ICOCA IC cards from the JR ticket office at Umeda station (osaka). Just make sure you have their passports with you. The kids fares are half the price of adults, so its worthwhile getting them for how much you use the trains. You can top up the cards at almost all ticket machines (cash only).
Transport passes - We purchased the JR West Kansai-Hiroshima area pass in advance online as this worked out cheaper for our itinerary than individual tickets. I picked up the pass from the JR ticket office at Kansai Airport station. Also purchased a 1 day Osaka-metro pass (820 yen for an adult) only on one day for moving around osaka alot. You can get them from any osaka-metro station ticket machine.
Shinkansen Tickets - I only booked our first shinkansen (Osaka - Hiroshima) in advance, online through JR west website, which i picked up at the airport station when we arrived. We booked most of the others either on the spot (No issues getting a seat), or through the Smart Ex app ( Tokyo - Osaka) We booked that one in the morning of the day we were travelling, and i'm glad we did as the train was almost full when we got on (5:47pm time).
Language
I know a little bit of Japanese ( from what i remember from learning Japanese in high school). My husband and the kids played on duolingo for a few months before hand. Most people in Osaka, Tokyo, and touristy places spoke a fair bit of english. But we tried to speak some Japanese where we could. We downloaded Google translate, and DeepL. The translation on DeepL was much better and a more accurate than google translate. The translate camera function is fantastic for shopping for food and working out how to use the washing machines etc. The Japanese people were always so happy when our kids spoke some japanese to them.
Advance bookings
Hotels - Some through booking .com and others direct to the hotel. We found the prices were mostly better when booking direct to the hotel
Universal Studios - 2 months before hand. we bought express passes and studio passes. i tried to purchase through the USJ website but had no luck with it accepting our credit cards. we tried AMEX, Visa, and Mastercard. gave up and purchased through Klook. Yes you can now select times for timed entries on Klook.
DisneySea - 1 month before. purchased through Disney site. nil issues.
TeamLab Planets - 2 months before, through official website
Sumo - We tried to get tickets to the sumo tournament for when we were in tokyo. We jumped online when the tickets were released, but the website crashed. After many many refreshes, when we finally got onto the site 1.5 hrs later, they were sold out for the days we could go :(
Food - Restaurants
We love good food, but don't fancy waiting in line for an hour to have an instagram hyped food. We made no bookings for restaurants, and just stopped when we saw something that looked good. It often involved a lot of walking as its difficult to get a spot for 4 people in some tiny restaurants. Street food was great! We used uber eats a few times from the hotel which was great for fussy kids, super quick and was reliable both times. the food was great too! Breakfast was mostly combini, yoghurt, smoothies, waffles. We found that department stores had great food halls (usually basement level) for takeaway with everything from sushi, salads, fried chicken, dumplings etc. A good option for groups with different tastes, affordable and a nice change from the combini food. Coffee almost everywhere was terrible.
HOTELS OSAKA - May 14 - APA Umeda-Eki tower. A pretty standard business hotel, small. location was ok, close enough to walk from umeda station. In hindsight, I should have just booked a room at the airport hotel. kids were absolutely exhausted from the 2am wake up in Melbourne with no sleep on the plane (too excited), our daughter was in tears at the airport from exhaustion. our son finally fell asleep on the train which meant i had to carry him (25kgs) and luggage through the station and to the hotel. we got to the hotel around 10pm. (approx $220 AUD 1 x night)
HIROSHIMA - May 15-16 - FAV HOTEL Hiroshima heiwa odori - Amazing! apartment style, great location, breakfast included. 2 x Queen beds in the room, washing machine and dryer. Would 100% stay here again if in Hiroshima. (approx $530 AUD 2 x nights)
KANAZAWA - May 17-18 - Tsukuyomi Chuodori . A Japanese style vacation rental house. location was ok, a short bus ride to the main area, or you could walk. very quiet residential area, actually had the best sleep here out of entire trip, although it was bright at 5:00am as there is only shoji screens for window coverings. very steep staircase to the top floor, probably not suitable for very young kids or older people. (approx $330 AUD 2 x nights)
TAKAYAMA - May 19-20 - FAV LUX Hida Takayama - great location. amazing apartment style 2 x queen beds + 2 x single bunk beds on top. Would 100% stay here again (approx $560 AUD 2 x nights)
TOKYO - May 21 - 25 - Mimaru Asakusa Station - location is 10/10!! literally next to the subway line, food, shopping on the door step, sensoji temple like 200mtrs away. Apartment style 1 x queen bed and 2 x single bunks. This may also be an unpopular opinion but you don't need to be near the Yamanote line in Tokyo. it was so easy to transfer to anywhere you want to go in Tokyo, the stations and different subway lines are so well signed and colour coded. I have stayed in Shinjuku and Tokyo station area before, and I would definitely stay in Asakusa again over those areas. (approx $1650 AUD 4 x nights)
OSAKA - May 26-30 - Randor suites Namba - Location was great! right next to a subway line, literally 3 doors down. Or a 950mtr walk to shinsaibashi. Was a whole apartment, huge for Japan. We shared this with my Sister in-law and her 2 boys (aged 10 and 12) who joined us in Tokyo for the last half of the trip. (approx $1450 AUD 4 x nights (our share about $800 AUD for 4 x nights)
BUDGET
We didn’t really set a specific budget as we had been saving for a while. All up in total, with absolutely everything ...flights, tickets, trains, food, accomm, shopping. It cost approx $16,000 AUD for a family of 4 people (1,600,000Yen). "Santa" got the kids new wallets and 10,000 yen each for xmas, so it was nice for them to work out what they wanted to spend their own money on.

DAY 1 - OSAKA - tues 14th May
12,221 steps
Flight from Melbourne - Osaka arrived 7pm
Through customs, baggage, JR tickets, got a 8:46pm (with 2 mins to spare) JR Haruka to Umeda (covered by the rail pass but you need a reserved ticket, which i got from the JR office when picking up the passes).

DAY 2 HIROSHIMA - wed 15th May
18,787 steps
I had booked a 1220 shinkansen from osaka to hiroshima. Which meant we had time for a restful slow morning ( only 1 hour time difference from Melbourne, so no issues with jet lag). We went to the Daimaru umeda and the pokemon centre, nintendo and some other shops, grabbed a bento box and on the shinkansen. We took our bags with us to the shops as we didn't want to trek back to the hotel.
An easy tram transfer and 600mtr walk to the hotel. We had a refresh at the hotel and then walked to the peace Museum. Entry is free for kids and 200Y for adults, a must if in Hiroshima! it was busy in some parts as we were there around 4pm but have never been somewhere with so many people and so much silence. Followed by a walk around the peace park and atomic bomb dome. You don’t need to be into war history to enjoy Hiroshima. The whole area has the most amazing peaceful vibe. If I lived in Japan, Hiroshima is where it would be! Dinner at Okonomi-mura. Delicious hiroshima style okonomiyaki. get there early, most places were sold out by 7pm.
DAY 3 MIYAJIMA DAY TRIP - thurs 16th May
23,589 steps
Opted to catch the tram to Miyajima ferry station, which was longer, but cheaper and meant we didn't need to transfer at the station, and also so we could see a bit more of the area out the window. you dont need to book the ferry in advance just get a ticket at the dock ( ours was covered by the JR area pass, still need to pay a 100Y tax for adults) ferry ride is about 10mins. We just walked through the streets poking in shops, eating some street food. The whole area is really beautiful and was busy but not over crowded. we wanted to ride the ropeway up to Mt Misen but when we got the the ropeway station it was closed due to strong winds. I was keen to go up so my hubby took the kids back into town and i did the 2.5km walk up the mountain to the look out. Do not attempt this unless you have a relative level of physical fitness, what starts as a nice meandering path following the river and waterfalls, quickly turns into 2km of stone steps up the mountain. it took me a bit over an hour to walk up and the view at the top is incredible. the trip down was much quicker, just be careful if you have bad knees. we left about 4:30 as we promised the kids we'd go to the pokemon centre. Went back to the hotel and got some uber eats for dinner, delicious ramen and gyoza
* Mine and my hubby's favourite day of the trip*
* Felt like we needed ½ to 1 extra day in the Hiroshima *
DAY 4 - TRAVEL TO KANAZAWA VIA HIMEJI - fri 17th May
12,993 steps
checked out of the hotel and took our luggage to 7-11 to transfer to our hotel in takayama 3 days later so that we could do our himeji and shirakawago stops on the way. we managed to stuff everything into 1 hiking pack and cost $25AUD to send. we kept 2 days of clothes with us in our backpacks. booked a shinkansen to himeji at the station immediately prior to travelling (covered by the pass). Walked around himeji castle, its beautiful. we didn't go inside as we were a bit pushed for time as we needed to check into our house by 7pm in kanazawa. but its worth the stop if its on your way. Our JR passes covered the trip to Tsuruga where we transferred to the shinkansen to kanazawa. We booked this on the spot and it was not busy. got to our house at 6:15pm, got some dinner recommendations from the house host and ordered through uber eats. hubby and i had curry kastu (kanazawa specialty) and got the kids some chicken and chips from a different place both delicious.

DAY 5 - KANAZAWA - sat 18th May
20,719 steps
We had lots of plans for the day, but our daughter was sick (vomiting) (she had a chest infection from when we left home) so we had aborted our mission and went back to the house, kids watched a movie on the ipads with hubby, and i went for a walk to the supermarket. I had fun browsing all the food for 1.5 hours. After lunch we went to Kenrokuen. The kids hated it, complained it was too hot and asked if we were ready to leave the whole time. it is a lovely large garden that is so well kept. However, we felt it lacked any real feeling (if that makes any sense). We had some obligatory gold leaf ice-cream at $10AUD each (Nothing to write home about, but of course its a good photo op). We skipped the market and the old district as our daughter was still feeling sick and hot, and opted for some shopping at kanazawa station. Of course pokemon centre. We enjoyed wandering the shops here for a few hours, got some happy pancakes, and dumplings on the top floor for dinner.
* side note, buses in kanazawa only take cash ( No IC cards, except the loop bus takes IC)
DAY 6 TRAVEL TO TAKAYAMA - Sun 19th May
15,910 steps
We got up early to get the first bus to Shirakawago around 8:00am. Although we didn't realise you need to reserve seats for this bus. I went to the counter and the first available bus was not until 1pm as the others were booked out. Also all the buses from Shirakawago to Takayama were booked out for the day. So we had to change plans and we jumped on a train to Toyama and then the limited express to Takayama. it was a 4min change over so we raced to the other platform and jumped in a non-reseved car. it was Packed, my son had to sit on my lap. The train ride is about 1.5 hours and absolutely stunning scenery. we arrived in Takayama, thinking we could tap our IC cards, but NO! No IC cards in takayama. luckily we paid the fare at the ticket window. however, we could only pay the Toyama to Takayama fare as they are different train line companies. Our IC cards, still said "In transit" so we had to fix that up when we went back to Toyama and pay the fare that we missed from not tapping off in Toyama. We learnt that it was super busy with tourists in Takayama so we booked our express train back to Toyama and the shinkansen to tokyo then at the station for the Tuesday. Checked into the hotel " our bags from hiroshima were there waiting" walked around the streets of takayama, grabbed some dinner at a soba place and headed back to the hotel for an early night.
DAY 7 TAKAYAMA - Mon 20th May
10,939 steps
Walked to the morning market, had some hida beef sushi (AMAZING), Midarashi dango (salty dango, YUM!) the most amazing criossants, poked in the shops around the old town area. kids fed the Koi and trout in the river. ate the most amazing cotton candy from a little shop. tasted sake from a brewery. Dinner at Suzuya (amazing, best meal of the trip, hida beef sukiyaki!!!) get there early! we were there at 5:10pm and already a big line in front of us. They won’t serve any one after 6:30pm. we booked a spa and sauna room for 7-9pm at the hotel so headed back to relax.
\* Saw lots of lovely souvenirs, engraved chopsticks, holders etc that in hindsight i should have bought in Takayama...but i thought i'll wait until Tokyo because it will be cheaper there... but I just didn't find many nice souvenir shops in Tokyo or Osaka, or we would have had to go out of the way to go there.
DAY 8 TRAVEL TO TOKYO - Tues 21st May
11,209 steps
Took the 11:07 limited express back to Toyama and the shinkansen to Ueno. We arrived at the hotel in Asakusa around 4pm. Dropped off bags at the hotel and headed to Sensoji, the area around the markets and temple was packed. We met up with my hubby’s sister and her 2 kids (they had the room next to us at the hotel) we walked down the street and found a teppanyaki okonomiyaki restaurant that could seat 7 people. The food was yummy, although they mustn’t have trusted us with the kids to cook our own food as they cooked it all for us downstairs and bought it up already cooked. We went to the sky tree for yet another pokemon store.

DAY 9 TOKYO – EAST SIDE – wed 22nd May
21,732 steps
Exploring and shopping Shibuya, Harajuku and Shinjuku. We went through Shibuya scramble, wandered the streets and shops of Shibuya and Harajuku, looking at shoes, cosmetics, gacha, anime. We had dinner at TGI Fridays in Harajuku, mainly because we could fit all 7 of us together and there was something on the menu that everyone would eat, the food is as you would expect (we found it difficult to find places suitable for everyone as my SIL is vegetarian, her son is super fussy (has autism, will not eat new foods), and our son is fussy too). We then jumped on the train and headed to Tokyo metropolitan government building in shinjuku, its great for the free observation deck and light show. The light show runs for 15mins every half hour from 7pm.

DAY 10 TOKYO – DISNEY SEA – Thurs 23rd May
31, 464 steps
One of the only days we set an alarm for the whole trip. Caught a train from Asakusa at 7:15am and arrived about 8:10, grabbed a coffee from starbucks there and headed in. The line was already massive. We got through the gates around 9:20. This is everything we did
Journey – first ride of the day went straight there 45min wait 9/10
Indiana Jones – 40^th anniversary pass 9/10
Tower of terror – DPA – 8.5/10
Raging spirits – single rider line, 20 min wait 6/10
Soaring – DPA, 10/10 amazing, we don’t have anything like this in Australia so we were all blown away, even the kids
20,000 leagues under the sea – 40^th anniversary pass 6/10
Toy story – DPA – 7/10
Jasmine’s flying carpet 5 min wait 4/10
Jumpin jelly fish – 20 min wait, just the kids went on, they said it was boring
Flounder coaster – 10 min wait, surprisingly good for a little kid coaster, took my daughter on it again at the end of the day while the others went on Indiana again as she wouldn’t do any of the bigger rides
Believe sea of dreams - really lovely show, brought some of the Disney magic that is missing from the park.
Fireworks were cancelled due to wind. Overall we had the most amazing day!!! We got to do everything we wanted (with some careful pre-planning), the weather was perfect. The park is huge! We still didn’t see everything, with fantasy springs opening you definitely need 2 days to see everything. The park itself is so well done, every nook and cranny has amazing theming, but it does miss some of that “disney magic”. However, I think with the fantasy springs addition, the park will really have it all. The food is great…albeit very long lines. We ordered dinner through the Disney app and picked it up at a designated time which was a life saver.

DAY 11 – TOKYO – Fri 24th May
18,504 steps
We had a 10:30 timeslot booked for team-lab planets (knowing we didn’t want to have a too early start to the day following Disney) Team labs was lovely, hard to be blown away following the day at Disney but it was still a nice experience. It is certainly a photo opportunity rather than a place to actually learn about and appreciate the art. Either way everyone did enjoy it, and its much more affordable than the digital art galleries we have in Aus. We stopped at Ginza on the way back to go to a few shops and grabbed some lunch from the Matsuya department store food hall. The group split up here and hubby went to Akihabara with our nephew to look at anime stuff. I took our son shoe shopping in Ginza and then headed back to the hotel to do some washing. Took a nice walk along Sumida river and went to an early dinner at Ichiran ramen. It was yum, but not the best ramen of the trip. When the kids were in bed I headed to Don Quijote Asakusa alone to grab some things I wanted to try. It was so busy even at 11pm at night, don’t attempt with kids! the line for tax free registers took over 30mins to pay. I walked back through sensoji around 12:45am and it was so peaceful with no one else around.

DAY 12 TOKYO – TRAVEL TO OSAKA – Sat 25th May
16,914 steps
Last minute shopping in Tokyo. We split up, hubby took all the kids to some toy stores, and my SIL and I went shopping in Ginza. Originally I thought that Ginza was only high-end stores but found it to be the best place for shopping as they had all the major stores there, Uniqlo, Nike, Loft etc. 5:47 pm Shinkansen to Osaka. Arrived around 8:30pm to Osaka hotel.
\* an extra day in tokyo would have been nice*
DAY 13 - NARA DAY TRIP – Sun 26th May
21,335 steps
We went for a walk in Nara park, Todaji temple and walked through the streets of Nara. We went to Nara 10 years ago and loved it, but this time just didn’t feel the same. It was so busy, smelly (deer poo), and just felt nothing like we remembered. That was a bit of a disappointment for me and hubby, the kids still seemed to enjoy it as they liked patting and feeding the deer, and looking in the souvenir shops. Dotonbori for dinner

DAY 14 – OSAKA – Mon 27th May
21, 817 steps
Went to Kuramon market in the morning. I loved walking through here (and i don't eat seafood!!) there is so much amazing food here. definitely go with an empty stomach! Got some nice chopsticks. Explored Shinsaibashi, Dotonbori, Umeda, Pokemon store, shopping. Ate some street food. Tried to get an early night before USJ.

DAY 15 – UNIVERSAL STUDIOS – Tues 28th may
24,352 steps
Set the alarm early and arrived at USJ about 8:15am. We were through the gates by 8:30am. The weather forecast was rain all day….and boy did it RAIN ALL day. 110mm of rain it was horrendous! Hot tip, if it is expected to rain then definitely bring an umbrella for each person and a poncho! So much cheaper to buy in Osaka than the 1800Y they charge per person for a poncho at the park when you have no other options. They have really cool merch tho, way better than Disney.
We pre-purchased Express -pass 4 (variety fun) for our kids (they were too small for some of the coasters, or didn’t want to ride). The rest of us had express pass 7.
We had 10:20am timed entry for Harry potter and 5:40pm timed entry for Super Nintendo (although you didn’t need a timed entry on the day). When we got in hubby and my nephew raced over to Demon slayer (both big anime fans) and the rest of us went to Minions. We spent a lot of time in souvenir shops and seeing shows that were out of the rain. Flying dinosaur, Hollywood dream, & flight of hippogriff were all closed until 6:30pm when it finally stopped raining.
The rides we did
Minion Mayhem – waited 5 mins at the start of day, 6/10 due to motion sickness factor. My son would say 10/10 it was his fav ride. Went on again later in the day with our express passes
Freeze ray sliders – kids said 6/10, I didn’t ride. Got straight on.
Forbidden Journey – Used our express passes and got straight on, pretty cool ride 8/10. Hubby hated it due to motion sickness and vomited as soon as he got off. Kids loved it. I took the kids on again at 7:30pm and walked straight on.
Flight of the hippogriff – managed to use our express passes when this opened about 7pm. 6/10, its fun but really short, the best part is the view of the castle.
Flying dinosaur – express passes, waited 5 mins. 9.5/10. Amazing coaster.
Demon slayer - hubby said 9.5/10. Said it was pure fun the whole time. Coaster + VR. No motion sickness.
Mario Kart – Express passes. Waited max 10mins. 8/10
Yoshi – Kids used our express passes as it wasn’t included in theirs but we decided to go in the normal line and got on only a few cars behind them. A nice view of SNW but pretty boring otherwise 4/10
JAWS – 6/10. My daughters fav ride. She went on twice, 5 min wait all day.
SING – live show. Fun singing along to the songs.
MyHero 4D – in Japanese. Was still fun, and dry.
Had dinner at Hard Rock outside after we left.
*adults preferred Disney and the kids preferred universal (even in the torrential rain)*
*our son's favourite day (7yr old)
DAY 16 – OSAKA -Home – Wed 29th May
17,070 steps
Took our time in the morning packing and left luggage at the hotel. We stopped by shinsaibashi to grab a few things we wanted to buy, grabbed some lunch and then went to the Osaka aquarium. The aquarium is beautiful and the whole area near there is really nice too, they have a giant ferris wheel and legoland which we didn’t go to. Would have been nice to have a few more hours to explore the area. We headed back to the hotel at 4:30 to grab our luggage and got the Nankai airport express train to the airport. This was pretty straight forward and we managed to get a seat after a couple of stops. Flight home at 9:25pm
* Our daughters favourite day (10yr old) (besides the flight)
If you got this far, thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you enjoy your trip