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Just finished stories first season and I know this is old but I really needed to vent, that finale was the worst I've ever seen.
Are we supposed to root for Scarlet and Ruby? I understand Scarlet trying to get revenge after those girls betrayed her, but after killing them everything goes downhill, so she gets a psycho girlfriend that likes killing and torturing for fun, kills Scarlet's parents to make her stay, and without a second thought encourages her to kill herself to become a ghost.
How are ever supposed to like such a character? and then Scarlet gets as bad, she's completely okay by Ruby killing her parents, then they both start killing people for fun and Scarlet is suddenly a professional assassin that gets rich and complains about her life having no meaning besides visiting Ruby each Halloween as if she couldn't visit her every single day. Also the terrible writing doesn't help, so the dead girls want to kill her outside of the house to separate her from her girlfriend but then a moment later they change their mind and even become friendly with Ruby which killed and tortured them multiple times?
And the finale is the worst part, so they kill that game developing mother, Ruby just casually says sorry and the mother says that it's okay because she brought it to herself. Seriously I don't understand how it seems as if the writers really want people to see any of these psychopath actions as positive, and then they get a happy ending as if anyone was rooting for them (and I don't even know if it's canon because it happened in the videogame but that's another whole topic to complain about)
This whole story feels like a power fantasy written by a bullied teen girl who fantasizes about school shootings and gore, there isn't any depth or anything positive to make them likeable villains, much less the main characters they're portrayed as.

Hi there,
I'm not quite sure if you're still active here on Reddit...
But I've been thinking a lot lately about us and how things have changed. You were once my closest friend but now, it feels like we're strangers. I miss you, more than words can express. There's a void in my life that used to be filled by your presence, I find myself longing for that.
I've tried to understand what went wrong between us, but I'm continuously left without answers. You started to pull away, and I respected your space, giving you the distance you seemed to need. However much I've tried, I can't shake this question that keeps haunting me. Why?
Why did you distance yourself from me? Was it something I said or did? Did I unknowingly hurt you in some way? Or was it simply a change of heart? I miss our friendship, our connection and I'm willing rebuild what we once had.
Please know that my door is always open if you ever want to talk or try to work things out. I cherish the memories we shared together and I hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, we can find our way back.
Until then, know that you'll always have a piece of my heart, no matter where life takes us.

TLDR - Was emetophobic in childhood, went away for a few years, then hit me like a truck at 16/17 years old. Had an incident at work one day then had a constant feeling of being trapped (which I suffered from at age 13/14), and if I needed to v* I couldn't escape, which led to me not being able to sit in a classroom, dropped out of school at 17 because I couldn't function properly and was n* constantly. Hardly left the house in 6 months and don't even think I can go to the store or the doctors/therapy due to crippling anxiety/n*. Need serious advice on what to do/who I can talk to. Sorry for the yap session if you even choose to read it...
For a bit of background I'm 18M, and I think became emetophobic after I had an sv* at around 10 years old which was absolutely traumatizing for me. For about an entire year after this I could hardly sleep at night, always was terrified of night time because that's when the house is completely silent, and I was (irrationally) scared of waking people up by V*ing. Night time is always so much worse for me.
When I went into year 9 (Like 8th grade in the US), my emetophobia kind of disappeared and turned into more germaphobia, I mean, I couldn't touch my face all day at school, and when I got back from school I used to sit in the bathroom and wash my hands for over an hour in some cases, until my hands cracked and bled. I had a really bad incident during an whole-school assembly later that year (around 500 people in the hall) where I was trapped in the corner of the bleachers and was essentially trapped and almost v*ed, had to sit there and push it down for nearly an hour with people packed in around me. So after that, I used to get horrific anxiety n* whenever I had to sit in a school assembly, or an exam hall, basically any setting where there's a bunch of people in one room, and you can't leave immediately. It was like a fear of being trapped, or like not being able to leave, and then v* in front of everyone which is a recurring theme with me.
My emetophobia and germaphobia weirdly completely disappeared by itself from Year 10 to year 12 (9th-11th Grade). I sat my GCSE exams with ease, went to sixth form in the UK and was completely fine for a year, got myself a girlfriend and a job, even v*ed probably 4 or 5 times within those 3ish years and was fine.
The job I had was lifeguarding, I was there with no problems for nearly a year until it started getting hot (Like nearly 30 Degrees Celsius with no ventilation on poolside) One morning I went into work as normal and went to go take position in the high chair (Those tall stepladder chairs lifeguards sit on), as I was about to start climbing up, I felt violently ill, thought I was about to v* and had to rush to the toilet. Didn't even v* but got sent home because apparently I looked really ill and I couldn't continue as I felt violently n*. The thing is with my job is once you're on position on poolside, you can't leave - you have to stay on position until you're rotated off. And if someone comes off rotation/is late for rotation it fucks up the entire rotation system, and if you are late or something, you let your coworkers down as there'd be no one to replace them and they'd have to stay on position for longer, so there was a lot of pressure on not letting your colleagues down.
Basically from that initial day where I felt n* going onto position, I couldn't stand it anymore, it was like the exact same feeling from all those years ago when I used to get really anxious about going into school assemblies. It was peak season as well in the middle of summer, so hundreds of people in the pool, and was absolutely scorching hot. I kept getting this recurring feeling that I'm trapped and that I have no escape (I literally was when I was on position, lifeguarding) so if I needed to v* I literally couldn't get out, if that makes sense. And that was the root of it. Just a trapped feeling, and that if I needed to v* I couldn't get out, and I'd v* in front of hundreds of people.
I had to push through another month or so of shifts throughout peak season. I used to absolutely decimate the skin on my hands, as I used to pinch my skin as hard as I could because it sometimes alleviated the n* for a moment, like a brain distraction type thing, my coworkers probably ended up thinking I was a freak because I had these scratch and scab marks all over my hands, but that was one of my coping mechanisms.
I quit that job after the peak season ended and started my 2nd year at 6th form (12th grade), that horrific anxiety n* somehow transferred into my school life (me thinking it was just the stress of work etc), I started getting that trapped feeling when sitting in a classroom, even though I'd been sitting in the same classrooms for over a year before and been fine. I just started feeling n* literally everywhere at school and constantly feeling like I was trapped everywhere I went. I started distancing from my friends, I couldn't sit in their cars or go on drives because I kept getting that trapped feeling which almost always ended up in me getting severe n* and thinking i was going to v*, especially all over someone else's car as well which made it so much worse.
I kept skipping lessons even though I consciously didn't want to because I couldn't bear to sit in a classroom and be trapped and not be able to leave. The absences piled up, the senior teachers started pulling me out of lessons (when I showed up) to ask me why I hadn't been coming, I said it was because "I didn't feel very well" and they just told me that if it keeps happening they'll have to get parents involved etc, or that I'll be kicked out.
I kept skipping, even though I didn't want to, I just physically couldn't sit in a classroom anymore. I used to get the bus to school, and used to sit on a bench outside fighting with my mind knowing that I needed to go in, but my body was telling me I couldn't. Most of the time just getting off the bus and then literally just walking to the train station and going straight home. My parents wouldn't find out I hadn't showed up until about 1pm, where I'd get shouted at etc. I used to sit on a park bench and wait until I had the courage to go and face my mother who gave me hell every time.
I had a meeting with a school guidance councilor and my mother where I told them both everything (previously kept this all to myself for 7+ years), as an 17 year old guy at the time, I almost burst into tears. The councilor could basically do nothing, all she could offer is to walk me into lessons which obviously wouldn't help. The 2nd meeting - we agreed that I was to take a year out of 6th form, and try to get better and come back aged 18 - this was the only thing I could do really, so I took it. Girlfriend broke up with me as well.
Fast forward to now - I've hardly left the house in 6 months, I physically don't think I could even go to the store without crippling n*/anxiety. I just have no idea how it even got this bad. It was like one day at work, a switch just flipped, and it all came back to me and I literally just can't even function like a normal human anymore. I genuinely have recurring suicidal thoughts because I literally cannot function in a basic sense. I've turned into a fucking hermit and serve no purpose.
I really want to get better but I have no idea how. I don't think I could go into a doctors office or a therapy office. I've never been medicated or seen anyone professionally, only a few close friends and my parents know about my issues. I really don't know what to do.

Even if it means halving the values.

• Currently, neither facet offers much for big combos. You want to be an AoE caster, not a Skywrath-type hero to deal massive damage to one preferably.
• It is very hard as the game progresses to ensure the enemy will have your right click debuff. Why shouldn't you be able to cast combos without getting in the heat of battle with your average 600 range and very slow 900 projectile speed?
• The point of the past bickering was to make Invoker not have these obnoxious quirks.
  • For example, if you wanted to combo you had to sacrifice maximizing CDR or Spell AMP.
• The lack of AoE amp means Sunstrike/Cataclysm are considerably worse spells, as well as Chaos Meteor in fights. You are clearly dictating a Pharasma build type of spellcaster, while leaving almost no space for a general spellcaster build.

I do not know how others feel about this, but having over 4500 Invoker games, being about 7k MMR, I do not see this positively. I'd rather have the general spell AMP.
Also, these generic talents have existed for far, far too long. They should have been changed already.
https://preview.redd.it/ylmyld6px42d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=30b2583da671827d66b694cdfcb6eafe9672eb36

A Familiar Scenario

The following scenario almost transpired at the end of the Mavs/Wolves game last night:
A team is down 2 points with 2 seconds left on the clock and they have a player at the free throw line with one shot remaining. His best move is to try to miss so that his team gets a chance at a 2- or 3-point field goal.

What's To Be Done About It

The most rational thing for the opposing team to do is to have a player commit a violation so that the shooter is "awarded" another free throw.

Primary Strategic Considerations

If they keep doing this, the shooter keeps having to shoot more free throws. There appears to be no rule against repeated lane violations on free throws. (On the other hand there also seems to be nothing in the NBA rule book about a free throw missing the rim resulting in a dead ball and we all know that that's a rule. I'm assuming that somewhere in Adam Silver's basement is a page on it that supports that rule.) If the shooter keeps trying to miss, he will eventually either a) miss the rim entirely and in effect hand over the ball to the opponents to throw in from out of bounds, still down 2 points, or b) make the basket by accident, down 1 point. Both of these outcomes are desirable to their opponents, so a rebound is off the table now that I've posted this. The shooter will decide to make the shot and we'll hear no more about teams trying to miss a free throw at the end of a ball game... except: the shooter's team can also commit a violation.
If both teams commit a violation, what results is a jump ball at midcourt. Whether this is preferable to the missed (and live) free throw may be a matter of great debate and discussion, some of which will likely relate to personnel on the floor and precisely how much time is on the clock, but if the opposing team isn't allowing them a chance to rebound a free throw, this is the best outcome available to them. (Some strategists will conclude that this rule, combined with this here prophesy that I'm about to unfurl, renders the attempted miss generally inferior to making the shot and attempting a steal on the in-bound, but I think they'll be a small minority. I think a jump ball at the free throw circle would be more equivalent, but changing the rule to that would seem like a naked attempt to preserve the potential for the intriguing tactic of deliberately missing free throws near the end of close games, and I suspect that the NBA is above that, though I'm not entirely opposed to it.)
The worst outcome for the shooting team—equivalent to missing the rim altogether—is for them to commit a violation and for their opponents not to. They would lose the ball and still be down 2 points.

Strategic Ramifications

We've got a sub-game where if both teams commit the violation it benefits the shooting team but if only one of them does it benefits the opponent (relative to the outcome of a plain old missed free throw). This sub-game only ends when the shooting team commits a violation or the shooter screws up. ("Hey, kids. Don't screw up. Screw down."–possibly Scot Pollard at some point) This is where things get fun. The opponent will have their three players on the lane lines, all ready to violate. But the shooting team is at a disadvantage. What will probably eventuate is that most teams will have a single designated violator (not a formal position by the way like a DH in baseball—just something that teams decide at their pleasure, kind of like the designated in-bounder or designated tech shooter). This designated violator's role only applies while on the shooting team, and that role is to walk into the lane when he's absolutely sure that an opponent is also committing a violation. If he enters but they don't violate, the opponents get the ball out of bounds, up 2. He will want to be very sure that any violation he commits coincides with the violation of his opponents. That's the only way they achieve anything better than a made free throw. If the shooting team has multiple players trying to get into the lane at the right time, the likelihood of their worst-case scenario increases considerably and there's hardly any advantage in it on the upside. That's why there'd probably only be one violator on the shooting team.
The opponents will be messing with the designated violator, one of them leaning as the shooter raises the ball and another charging into the lane a split-second later as if to beat everybody to a rebound that he knows will be whistled down. Then on the next shot it'll be a little different. The designated violator (I really don't want to use the abbreviation DV here, so please bear with me) will be almost certain that on any given miss attempt an opponent will perform a violation, but not absolutely certain. He knows that the other team is trying to give him the yips. He knows that from the beginning. The opposing violators are trying to fake the shooting team's designated violator into pre-emptively violating. And they don't mind faking out the shooter while they're at it.
Aside from leaving the lane space, an opposing player can commit a disconcertion violation (e.g. waving hands or talking to a shooter while he's shooting), and this is treated the same way as a lane violation. There's an asymmetry between the violations that the shooter's team mates can commit and the violations that a shooter's opponents can commit. If a team mate talks loudly or waves his arms while the shooter is shooting, no violation takes place. But when an opponent does so, it's a violation and another free throw. The only violation that a team mate of the shooter can commit during the free throw attempt is to move out of his lane space, which takes longer to do than yelling or clapping. So an opponent of the shooter can deeply inhale as if he's about to shout something as the shooter is raising the ball and then wait to see whether one of the shooter's team mates is showing physical signs that he's about to commit a violation and respond appropriately. If he shouts once the shooter has the ball at his forehead, it's overwhelmingly likely that he's going to be the only one who incurs a violation, and the shooter shoots again. A related factor is that this sub-game would be distracting to the designated violator, and his opponents might recognize that that distraction gives them an advantage in getting a rebound and they might just let the shooter shoot. That's what ties this all together. Once this subgame exists (which it now does), the first instance of a violation in such a scenario would initiate in the minds of any player aware of it the thought process that I just laid out. That gives the opponents an advantage, which may lead to some teams deciding not to deliberately miss free throws in these situations.

For some added complexity:

In order to be as responsive as possible, the shooting team will be tempted to make their designated violator a smaller, more agile player. If they overdo it, the opponents will just allow the shooter to miss the free throw and be virtually certain to gather the rebound.

Conclusions

It's definitely the best strategy for an opponent to play this subgame of committing violations to keep a free throw shooter shooting. It has more upside than downside, and whether or not the shooting team distracts themselves by playing it, they're at a disadvantage. Whether this disadvantage is enough to make teams change their minds about shooting to miss these free throws may remain to be seen.
I guess this is all moot if the ref calls a technical foul under 12.A.V.a of the NBA's rules "for conduct which, in the opinion of an official, is detrimental to the game" subsequent to a warning upon the (I'm guessing) third consecutive instance of a violation. I don't know how that would play out, though. It seems like it would be a scandal either way, since it's arguable that discouraging a team from sabotaging their own scoring opportunity is beneficial to the game. I think this is the sort of thing that gets addressed during the off-season and that addressing it now would be unprecedented. Maybe it's the kind of exploit that's available now, for a short time only.

Guys, I'm so done. I can't cope with all the hurt, my ex put me through. I know, there are different subs dedicated to this topic, but actually, I've been through domestic violence. Here's my story:
So I was in highschool. That was 4 and a half years ago. I was actually broken too. Had several PTSD therapies and was absolutely broken. My childhood was tough as my father had BPD and was very abusive. My parents got divorced and we haven't spoken for 10 years, with my father. That's why I had PTSD. 4 and a half years ago, I met this girl. She was so innocent and lost. I knew, I had to ask her out. Things were quick. A month later, we started dating and my love for her only grew faster. On the other hand, her parents hated me from the very beginning. My father was arab and so my skin tone is slightly darker which is unacceptable, in my country. And as she is a pale blonde, they were upset because I'd probably ruin their pure white family with my genes if I ever had a child with their daughter. This was pretty hard pill to swallow..
Anyways, we remained dating. Everything was just perfect untill the day I took her to a camping site during summer holidays. Went for a hike and suddenly, she started crying, saying she's having this "crisis". The "crisis", ever since then, became her tool to make me try harder. That's when the emotional abuse began. She's had about 15 of those major crises throughout the relationship. Later on, she told me she was lost and didn't know whether she's not missing something while being with me. I fixed that and she switched back to loving me. After that, things got worse. I mean, her demeanor was somewhat different. We started having arguments over NOTHING. But yeah, it wasn't that dramatic so far, so we remained together. Another year went by and I remember, I was like, 18? I took her out for shopping. Out of the blue, she told me to my eyes, I don't love you anymore. My heart was torn apart. I remained still. Told her that we could take a pause so that she could think it through. I gave her space. Man, it is excruciatingly painful when you tell them that you love them and they don't respond. I did everything she wanted. After a month, she switched back again. At this time, I realized, I wouldn't make it if I lost her. I've put her first in any aspect of life. I've sacrificed so much for her. Her demands were only higher and higher yet her respect for me went to zero. But still, another year passed by. The third year, I went through hell. My father called me. It was intense as we haven't spoken for 10 years. He told me, he has a cancer in it's final stage. Heartbreaking. I had to take care about him till the end. Meanwhile, my gf had a beef with her mother and I've decided to help her and take care of her problem as well as that of mine, with my father. I even ended up taking her mother to a restaurant where I had to explain, how it is important to communicate, in family. You get it? Me, a 20 yo, let's say kid, explaining this to a 50yo woman? WILD. I stood our ground and told her that we are moving. Did my girlfriend thank me? Nah. But before moving in together, I managed to find us a part time job abroad, for the entire summer holiday. I was so proud of myself that I could really manage to do this. We went there and the very first thing she told me was that she's about to have another crisis. It crushed me. We were supposed to help some old owners of a guest house. They only spoke their language, couldn't speak english nor our language, so clearly, I said, I have to learn their language so that I'd be able to communicate with them. My gf? She told ME to speak with them. After a month being there, I could speak quite well and she could barely say anything. Still, she blamed me for it and made a huge scene in public about it. Speaking of the huge scenes, she made these even in our country. She always did it in public, where she would start screaming, crying in order to make me look as an abuser in front of everyone. She did it many many times, mostly in shopping centers.
When we returned, we moved in together. Of course, I was the one who found us a dormitory to be. She didn't do anything for it. Our mutual life was okay, at least to her. I started feeling neglected and abused. The hell was only to begin. She started calling me names, making scenes in public so that I seemed as a total abuser even more frequently, gaslighting, blackmailing, humiliating, she hated my friends, hated my projects (podcasts), hated my opinions and everything I did was just wrong. Sometimes, it went physical. She blamed me for receiving an orphan's pension and not taking her out or buying her shit. It hurts to write. Sexually, she liked to frustrate me for weeks or even a month. Then, when I naturally didn't last long, she threw a tantrum. Sometimes, she screamed at me during sex over something I did or didn't do during the day. Then, it got even worse. We didn't sleep together whatsoever and she started isolating me. Blamed me for going to my parents for a weekend, saying, I don't feel at home with her. She even forbade me lighting a candle on the day it was a year after my father died. I was so lethargic. Didn't know what to do. She found herself some friends at work and started hanging out with them after work. I remember going for her to work in winter. It was so cold. She left me waiting outside for an hour only to tell me that she was in a pub, after work. I stopped going there. And she hated me for that. Then, she broke up with me. Just like that. She was so suspiciously over it. I asked her about any other guy and was told she doesn't have any nor does she want anyone else. I went home, to my parents. A few days after, I found out, she had a crush at work. Well, my panic attacks came back.
she seemed so indifferent but when I returned to that room, I saw, it was a room of a total mess. I found our photos on the desk, our products still displayed and my t-shirt, she clearly still slept in it. So damn weird. That's when it got really really suspicious. I consulted this whole situation with my psychologist and he said, by all that I describe, There's no doubt she has a BPD and I wouldn't ever change her. The end was INEVITABLE. But I didn't know much about BPD, back then. I didn't know anything about hoovering. She did it. She stalked me to school and made a huge scene in front of my classmates about how she still loves me and won't make it through summer without me. I rejected her and told her to go away. A few days after, I was so curious about what might happen. I just went to the room again and I shouldn't have done it. She took a pose. A mask of arrogance so that I can't hurt her. The first thing she said was that she's happy without me. It made angry and confused because it didn't make sense as she told me how she still loves me, before. I spat all the shit she put me through, at her. I didn't scream or anything, but told her everything. She said things that hurt me but I hurt her too. I could see her "mask" breaking and her eyes flooding in tears. Oh god, I hurt myself by doing that. I suggested, I knew about her crush all the time. She acted indifferent. I left.
I feel shame. As a man, I should've acted more assertive. I just couldn't and so I came through the same hurt, as during my childhood.
I can't do this anymore. The pain is just excruciating.

I was abused and bullied relentlessly by my nfamily and they never let me do things without their explicit permission. I would have to beg them to go to a friend's house, and they would try to sabotage me by making me do chores or trying to guilt-trip me into staying home instead of going. They were covert narcissists which made it harder to see that what they were doing was abuse.
One of the worst things they did was isolate me. When I was in middle school, I was critically underprepared socially. I had been infantilized by my nparents so much that they treated me like I was still 5 years old in many ways. When I went to middle school, I felt as if I wasn't allowed to develop and change in the same way that other people my age were, and felt more and more isolated. If I ever tried to explain how I felt to my nparents, they would gaslight me and tell me that I was overreacting or that "children in Africa have it much worse".
The middle school itself was horrific and had a huge bullying problem. I was bullied every day, often by people who had previously treated me nicely in elementary school. Whenever I told my nparents about what was happening, they would tell me to "tough it out" or to "try being friends with them". I am still enraged to this day about how they responded to the bullying and treated me. Because they never did anything to stop the bullying and never helped me cope with it, I became depressed and suicidal. They also abused me a lot more at home during this time, and ndad especially started to scream at me and occasionally beat me for getting one C on a homework assignment that I had forgotten to turn in because of all of the fucking things I mentioned above that were destroying my mental state. It was hard to simply get up in the morning and I dreaded every fucking day. Even worse was that ndad forced me to play on his soccer team which required me to go to soccer practice right after school until 9pm three times a week, and then he'd expect me to somehow get my homework done afterward (or would force me to do it while at soccer practice). What the hell was wrong with that fucking asshole? I never got a fucking break from anything.
By the time I was in 8th grade, I was suicidal. I was making detailed plans and thinking about ways to commit suicide every day. My siblings, who were both narcissists, were constantly bullying me nad making my life a living hell. School was unsafe, home was unsafe, and I couldn't even have a fucking extracurricular activity or club to feel safe in because ndad fucking stole that from me too. I was completely isolated at school and had one friend who was abusive but at least he didn't bully me "as badly" as other people. I truly thought I would be dead before I went to high school. But then, seemingly out of nowhere, my fucking nparents suddenly decided that bullying was bad and that they needed to pull me out of public school. I, loving the idea of getting at least some peace and quiet and getting away from the hell that was that middle school, jumped at the chance, but I had no idea how bad things were going to get from there. My nparents, instead of trying to find a safer school for me to be around people who were nice to me, instead put me in virtual school and fucking patted themselves on the back for it as if they hadn't spent the last 3 years laughing at me when I told them I was depressed and suicidal from the bullying. All virtual school accomplished was isolating me from every single outside connection I had except one, and making it impossible for me to leave the house at all. Looking back it was horrible, but at the time it was better than what I had experienced so I preferred it. What child who had gone through all of that and didn't have responsible parents wouldn't want to stay home and play video games after school instead of going to classes all day? It took a heavy toll on me though, and for 2 1/2 years I was in virtual school and felt as if I had been ostracized from society because I left public school.
I can stress enough how leaving public school impacted me. I had gone to the same classes for years with the same people, and to be in public school made you feel like part of the "in-group". When my nparents pulled me out, I felt as if I lost that one small sense of community that I had. People who have been homeschooled can probably relate to that feeling. I perpetually felt a sense of FOMO ever since that experience, and believed that I was a horrific monster who didn't deserve to be a part of humanity. It's hard to put all of that into words, but that's the best way I can phrase it. Ever since then, I feel as if I've been trying to compensate for that experience. It makes me feel incomplete, and I know that I missed out on a lot of necessary personal growth that may or may not have happened if I was in public school. I missed out on critical social skills and growth, and what made it all even worse was the fact that my nparents continued to fucking treat me like a 5-year-old. The infantilization was insane. I still felt 5-years-old when I was 17. I still felt as if I was "too young" to do "adult" things. I didn't get any sex education and was explicitly not allowed to date by my nparents despite being a boy and that not being something that parents usually seem to tell boys. All of it is insanely confusing and the rage from all of it has stuck with me ever since. The most enraging thing of all, though, was how my nparents gaslighted me about all of it. They didn't have the decency to even admit that they had made mistakes as parents and hadn't taught me critical life skills. Instead, they would act surprised when I didn't know how to do something such as shaving, changing the tire on my car, or how dating worked, and would then yell at me for not knowing despite it being their fucking fault that I didn't know. Narcissists really are the fucking worst of humanity and I'm disgusted that I had to be raised by two of them.

Hello, so this is the first post of mine also English is not my first language so if I misuse any words please bear with me and feel free to ask any questions.
I’m in early 20s and around 2 years ago I dropped out from university to rest and get some medication with my mental illness which is CPTSD caused by my biological father
and only thing doctor ask him to cooperate is to not yell at me &to not hit me anymore
So, long story short, we’re Asian and he received these kinds of emotional/physical/verbal abuses from his own parents (which he cut ties with them + is what my mom told me him however never try to explains anything though)
which is why he’s passing down what traumatized him to me
and when someone tell him “Don’t do this, you see it’ll only make things worse”
he’ll just go
“I can’t I have to make she know her place”,
“This is my house she’s just a resident”,
”She’s just over reacting/overdramatic”
“Hey you can stop acting that’s too much now stop acting like I’m a monster” etc.
You see the thing is my mom tried her best to make things work for us as father-daughter and even though I’m very very scared at the time that I decided to leave uni I was like very crippling , I can’t sleep and can’t sleep in peace without nightmares and always in verge of tears so I know I’m not in the good condition for study anything which is why I come back to the house and give it a try another time with everyone
but even after I’ve been through medications, do my own self healing and recently I feel really happy with my progress both in mental health wellness and self studying I’ve been doing all that times starting to look decent to me to make some money
That day, we went to our another house and let’s say something I can’t physically control just happened um like his huge pet got in the house area through opened fence and I can’t physically drag her out or anything at all, it’s his pet 100+ kg buffalo and it just come in to play with my lil dog which is her favorite. Idk I mean just can’t right? I’m not even that strong my good hand have carpal tunnels syndrome and I can’t even grab pen good like wtf
And he yelled at me, not that bad one bc I got my anc headphone on and it reduced the decibels but yeah I mean I just kinda feel lil bit down but try to console myself and go talk to mom who’s inside the house at the time and yeah I cried at calmed down a bit but I still feel bad
So when he was driving us home I got silent but actually it’s not that weird sometimes I just feel tired and sleepy and for this case I try my damn best to not cry and make him think I’m making a scene again
but yeah I was wearing headphones and pretend to listen to smth and he asked me “why you have to have the headphone on all the time?”
ok guys I got this headphone just 2 days before that day, the first day I didn’t touch it much just unwrapped and qc so I was wearing this on when I’m studying, listening to music and when I go to dog park. So it was literally 1 day or less and he’s not even seeing me all the time??
I got quiet after that bc I don’t want to answer and burst of tears bc that have happened and it make him pissed out even more and call me crazy
But yeah he turned up the volume of the radio to the point my anc can’t block out (I think this one can block around35-40decibels) and outburst the anger and start hitting steering wheel and yell at me he went like, with the loudest voice,
“I don’t want to live in this house anymore”
idk what and where this came from at all
“I can’t fxxing say anything huh how much we have to spoils you”
bc he has to stop yelling as doctor said and controlling me just bc he wants to
“And look how you dress like a slxx”
it’s tropical country and it’s a short with grandma(like she gave me fr) t-shirt
“You two are driving me crazy I’m going crazy like you two”
maybe I’m idk I’m trying my best to function but mom is just weak bc him
And I was freezing in fear at first then cried out very loud bc I can’t hold it anymore
and he seems to calmed down, or not idk I just know that the voice is quieter but Idk I was shivering and crying and actually I wanna jump put of the car and runaway but my dog is there and I don’t want to abandon my dog with this guy or mom who does nothing at the moment
and I fear of death at the moment I fear that he’ll just get us in car accident and we all will die just because all these stupid reasons he said
But Idk when arrived home I ran with my dog to the storage room upstairs and mom just tell me to wait and come talk with father…? I mean wtf he’d kill me!! he almost killed us!!!!
I yelled back to her that I can go live with grandma!!
And then yeah idk I locked myself up and I think father needs therapy asap or I’ll never be able to be healthy again bc he’ll always take me back to square one
So I talked to mom, but yeah….I thought we understand the point……
I convinced her he shouldn’t be mad at anything like this at all and have to stop focus on me and expect me to focus on him and please him (&bc rn I’m teaching myself to stop people pleasing as well…but I didn’t tell her this I can handle my own improvement journey)
I asked my mom I need to be alone for a while to adjust my thoughts and it just basically means please don’t let him near me for a while and she said back”it seems to have to be like that”
Yet, he came to my room while I’m doing laundry and trying to find solutions for this situation
I just have a glance and he mumbled smth like “come..” and gesture like he’s gonna hug me
but my scared ass can’t, I can’t anymore so I mumbled back like “no…no..no” and went to my room and cry and after make sure he’s gone I came out to do laundry…
Mom came to me and after I asked she said they didn’t talk yet he just do it by his own
(the context is mom has done this kind of thing once, which is when I say I can’t I don’t want to talk to him and at some point she’ll just drag me to apologize and talk to him and trust me it’s all about trivial stuff)
The thing is I don’t think he came to say sorry I think he just come to make it sounds good enough to admit it’s all my fault as always and he’ll do it again I’m sure
I texted mom and ask her if she gonna take dad to therapy or else I have to find other ways bc I can’t trust him like before anymore, I don’t think I want to sit in the car he drives and I don’t want to talk to him( bc apparently I’m back in this state where I can’t feel safe living and wanna die)
Mom sent me the application deadline for university and tell me to go
I read and confused then cried, like wtf?? why now??? we’re trying to make dad go to therapy and I have to start over my therapy and mom just think sending me away in whatever state I’m rn is the best choice? So I called her talk to her and start crying uncontrollably
So mom came to talk to me second time, this time she look pissed somehow idk
Turned out, she never actually listen to me, I was talking with a wall all along this time
You see, I always told her what am I intended to do, what am I studying, when I have bad feelings
But I don’t think I have to tell her everything like step by step of what I do
I just think it’s my thing, I’m getting myself tgt and she’s busy af bc dad don’t work much
and I was like it’s ok she trust me and respect me that I’ll be able to manage this study and I’ll ask for her help when I’m stuck
But she just basically say “I don’t know if that career you’re aiming for is stable and I think this is better” but what about my opinion??? I told her like thousands times that I want to do this and I showed her the possible works, events and stuff like manufacturing and the payment and oh Idk what else should I do, should I just have to work and study in front of her??
And the thing is, she mentioned it now! like not when I’m in best state to decide anything big at all
Omg I just wanna die you know these days I just want to sleep and fxxxing die or I just want to kms with that big kitchen knife and leave a letter saying it’s all all his fault and as ghost I really wanna see if he’ll go to therapy ughhhh
So, I blurted out everything yk I do really think I will die soon and even I didn’t tell her that, what came out of me at that time is really really negative ways to see things but to admit it, it’s what I was feeling deep down like
“I don’t think he love me, he hate me so much he have to find something to insult me and he never respect me as human being I feel like I’m his extension, his dog or anything but my own self and I admit i lose my motivation I’m still here bc I love my dog sm and he’s so velcro he literally can’t live without me and I don’t think I can’t go study like this, you think I just go somewhere else and wow I just magically be happy even the problem is still there unsolved? etc. etc.”
yk I know I was the harshest I’ve ever speak to mom but it’s so so clear that man want everything orbit around him
Like, he once told me to leave ‘his’ house to live with grandma bc I just went silent at him bc he’s so so stupid yelling me at trivial stuff as always and do I have any right to be angry???no???
I didn’t even yell and even try to not cry not showing my face to him so he just feel better not seeing my ugly face why is it so hard why it’s always my fault even I choose silence????
And yes, at that time I went to grandma’s and stay there, quite happily I mean I feel much much better (unfortunately for now I can’t go bc they’re taking care of another grandma who has Alzheimer and very stressful I don’t want to bring anymore stress to them)
But one day dad just call in to my uncle and grandma to tell them how sly I am(???)
like, “She never actually into studying why pretend like she’s now such a pretentious”
I mean I was shook yk, I thought he’d never ever ever do this, not to my grandma
what was he thinking? he thought grandma’d hate me so she send me back??? it’s so sick…
so yeah this is a support story why it’s so hard to trust him but oh dw grandma and everyone just go “damn, this guy is sick…” and not believe any bullshit he said to me
I’m still locked myself up to escape him and yeah I admit that I’m escaping reality and I sometimes go out walking my dog to the park and just that…
I don’t eat much and my nightmares start to come back and I actually lost most of the things I’ve been trying to build yk for example, trust and confidence
Another point is that my dog is almost like, sleep when I sleep and get up when I do and I'm very worried about him bc I'm very messed up rn and I don't want him to get sick
I’d choose death if my dog isn’t here and I don’t know what to do next please give me some suggestions
Thank you

An old friend of mine who moved abroad a few years ago is returning to the country for a visit. He asked me months ago (early March) when I was available and if he could stay. I told him outright staying wasn't an option, as much as I'd love him to. I then gave him a copy of my calendar for the next few months.
Anyway, I got a text from him late last night saying his flight lands tomorrow evening and wants to arrange something. My calendar has had this weekend blocked out since last year as it is one of the first big events of the year for my business, extremely profitable, needs both me and the other owner there all the time to ensure everything goes smoothly. We leave 5am tomorrow morning to start the setup for the weekend.
My friend was rather annoyed at this, but I said, I'm sorry it's in the calendar, you knew when I was available, I can't not be there. He suggested that I just let my business partner run it without me, I explained why that wasn't possible. That it needed both of there to maximise profit/efficiency, that without me the team would then struggle for various reasons, including travel for some, it would put a strain on everyone else. Many of our long term staff as well as my business partner are friends too. I couldn't do that to them.
Sensing his upset and disappointment, I offered him another solution.
I said, why don't you come along, there is room in our accommodation, you can either chill there during the day or if you wanna earn some extra money I can probably get you a few shifts. It's a fun job, we all have a laugh anyway so we'd still get to hang out. Technically we're fully staffed but it's a busy event, but I was prepared to give him a few short shifts and pay him out of my own pocket, rather than blow the wages budget.
I don't quite see how, but this suggestion offended him. I'm apparently an AH for just trying to get him to come and work when he's back here on a break. That I viewed him as just another way to make more money and that work is more important to me, than being a friend, etc.
I'm worried maybe there is something else going on with him as this strikes me as very out of character for him.
I don't see how I could be considered the AH, really, but maybe my own judgement is bias and I'm missing something?

I've seen many fall for the hype of quick success. For example, a creator claimed to make $30k in 30 days but spent $12k on ads to achieve that. All good with that—but he is selling online courses on how to start a clothing brand, so I want to break it down:

• $30k revenue (this is what he claimed to make on Shopify)
• $12k on ads (this is the ad spend I have seen on his account)
• $4,500 on product costs (750 t-shirts at $6 each; I'm just guessing these numbers—I personally spend even more on product costs since quality is very important to me—but it could be that the creator buys them cheaper)
• $2,400 on shipping (400 packages at $6 each)
• $2,000 on other expenses (photoshoots, fulfillment services, Shopify fees)

Total expenses: $20,900. After taxes, the net profit is about $6,100.
And its very very unlikely that you are able to achieve that as well. (it actually requires you have around 15k in the bank to start with this method - they are way cheaper ways to get started - that do not require 12k ad spent or buying a course)
Why is this important to share with you?
Before buying a course or starting a brand, you should first consider what your personal starting point is before giving away thousands of dollars to buy any of these courses. I own a brand of my own, and I'm doing six figures a year. But my first try with my brand 12 years ago failed (yes, I'm an old dude—33 years old, haha). After failing 12 years ago, I was in debt, which caused me huge depression for years. I was only earning $1.5k in my 9-5 and had to pay back 30% of my earnings every month for years. It took a few years to get back on track, but it came with the cost of my health, etc.
I'm not blaming online masterclasses (I actually spent $25k in the last two years on them—non-streetwear related—and it was well worth it). However, it's a double-edged sword—these days, you have to be very careful with these courses. There are many creators out there who have not figured out their own success before they started YouTube, and then they are teaching others and asking a huge price for the course. Im a lil bit emoitonal about that whole topic since i know what it can mean if you spent to much in the beginning. start small and agile - test first before doing massice steps. Im personally a very shy person but this topic makes me so sick that i started a youtube channel where im going to share everything i know without gatekeeping.
All of the information that they are teaching is out there for free. Only buy courses from people if you want to save time learning from the best (and most of the time, streetwear brand owners are not the best at what they are teaching since the field is too broad—I took courses on online marketing, eCommerce, paid ads, branding, etc. I picked the best of each niche. Most streetwear brand owners cover everything on the surface, and that's most of the time not worth the price tag they are asking for). Investing in yourself is really important, but keep your costs low; you are most likely to fail if you're spending too much.

Tldr; My boyfriend makes me feel uncared for, alone and like my emotions don’t matter. I’m unhappy, but I’m scared to leave because he can make sure I will not get a job again.
We started dating almost 5 years ago when I had just started college. He had Finnish two years earlier with the same degree as me. We quickly fell in love, he was the sweetest, kindest and funniest guy I had ever met. My friends and family loved him. Six months after moving in together, I asked for a break because he didn’t fulfill my emotional needs and wants for a relationship, he bought a dog as a surprise to apologize and got pissed when I didn’t wanna be responsible for one. Blamed me. That’s two years ago. My friends are starting to see through him. I still don’t get what I need emotionally. If I start crying during a fight because of the things he says he accuses me of being manipulative and keeps yelling at me. He has called my psycho three times the last week. He yells and comes all up in my face, which is triggering to me. Not that he cares, he says that he can’t make himself a different person just because I have trauma. I tried explaining to him that he made me feel unsafe, he said that was on me and not him.
I tried explaining to him that if I feel some sort of way based on something he has said, it comes from somewhere, there’s a reason I’m having that reaction. He used this argument against me in a petty way… “oh so that means I can start crying and screaming if you ask me to hand you the salt and I interpret that as you calling me fat?” In a mocking manner. It’s always like that. He never listens, he never cares, I’ve never felt so unloved. I find myself trying to come up with plans to get him to change.. what if I act like the perfect girlfriend, cook, clean, have sex, be friendly, only spend my time with him - maybe he will be nice to me then? I find myself daydreaming about a relationship, a different relationship. Maybe I don’t deserve it.
He has his good sides too. He’s great at helping me with whatever I need, he steps up any time I need him. He is generous and enjoy giving me things, I just gotta remember to be grateful enough - and don’t I dare ask for 50% of a household bill a few days afterwards; “don’t you see all I do for you?”. He makes me laugh, we like the same shows. He doesn’t care about satisfying me sexually. He knows all the things I like, don’t care to do any of them most of the times. The other day we woke up hungover, and he tried sleeping with me without a condom. We’ve been using condoms exclusively for 3 years. I got up and told him he made me uncomfortable, he started yelling at me about something I had done wrong at the party the night before. I had done something wrong, and stuck up for my friends in a discussion those two had. I felt used in that situation. Every time I tell him how I feel, he is most worried about what I will say to my friends, what I will lie about to the world. That’s his biggest concern, not how I feel or how he can fix that… it’s his reputation that matters. And whenever I start crying or get scared because he is yelling, and I tell him afterwards how it made me feel, he says “well I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t been acting like a bitch” and I’ve tried explaining how hurtful it is to say that to someone who has been in a physically abusive relationship before.. but he says it’s not the same. I asked him if he thought I had deserved being hit in the face by a guy I went on two dates with, he said “I don’t know I wasn’t there”. God knows I’m not perfect either. I drank too often and much during college, and have since stopped fully because it affected both of us badly. I made that change.. I’ve made other changes, why can’t he?
Here’s why I can’t get out: even though I am economically self sufficient, we are in the same industry. We’re in the film industry, where he has a role that can and will hire me for jobs in the future. So breaking up? Can very likely mean he’ll have me blacklisted in the industry. We’re in a small Scandinavian city, everyone knows everyone here, and I don’t think for a second he wouldn’t tell everyone lies about me to make me look bad. I’m good at my job, I love my job. I can’t loose the only thing I’ve ever actually been good at. Freelance work is scary, I never know my next paycheck and although I’m booked in all of 2024, I fear never getting work afterwards if I break it off with him. I fear he will go after my in any way he can. I don’t think he’d be violent, he has thrown glasses into the ground during fights at most, but I fear the consequences for my career. He is well connected , and a small part of me is considering staying for a few more years, use his connections to get the career I want and then get out afterwards, but that’s cruel. I do have a lot of love for him, I wouldn’t be where I was without him.. But I don’t want to marry him, I don’t want him to be the father of my children. But I’m so tired of beginning him to listen to me, to comfort me and to show me he wants to work for our relationship. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Thank you for reading. Do you think any of this is solvable? Is it any point in couples therapy?

This took place after Onyx got kicked out by Selkie but before Zora talked with Onyx.
Extra just to clarify: 1. Selkie’s hairpiece makes it possible for them to physically interact without Selkie getting even though Victor is a ghost.

1. No, this is not meant to justify Selkie’s behaviors, his actions towards others are still his, this is just to show another side of him that he would never admit to in cannon, just because he’s a victim doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt others, but it doesn’t mean he’s invalid either :).

TW/CW: manipulation, abusive relationships (even if the abuse isn’t physical), and mild victim blaming in the end. If this triggers you, please don’t read, it gets heavy, specially at the end, please stay safe!:
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Selkie laid on the bed after kicking out Onyx, something in his chest stung after he did it, was it guilt? Did he go too far? Why is he feeling this conflicted? What’s wrong with him?
Selkie: Sigh “HA! Stupid dummy, I don’t even need them! They should be grateful I even agreed to be their roommate in the first place!”
He knew this was self-delusion but whatever allowed Selkie to sleep at night
Selkie: “I’m aaaalllll fine here by myself! I’m the Selkie Sylvester, they will turn back to me crying, begging for me to let them back in…surely they will…”
Selkie stops the speech and just starts crying and screaming in anger, he stands up and looks into a mirror before wrecking it and sinks back down as he wept.
‘Who am I kidding, they are probably happier without me…everyone always is…’
Soon, the intoxicating smell of roses started flowing into the air, Selkie’s blood ran cold, heart thumping at the speed of light, and bile crept into his throat
Victor: “You’re crying again…”
Selkie glanced up at the ghost staring him down as he sniffled a bit
Selkie: “Wooow, what an observation…not even a hello..”
He proceeded to roll his eyes and then Victor glared at him, Selkie froze and then mumbled
Selkie: “S-s-sorry! Didn’t mean to come across as rude! I’m glad to see you! I’m sorry, please don’t hit me…!”
Victor immediately grinned as he placed a hand on Selkie’s shoulder, the other one in turn was now terrified before being lifted from the ground harshly
Victor: “Have you always been this pathetic, Selkie? You are acting as if I’m a monster or something, you offend me, pet.”
Selkie: Sorry Vic, I was just not in the best mood, sorry…
Victor: “Ah, it’s alright! Shouldn’t expect much from someone like you anyway! Hehe!”
Selkie: “He…he…”
Selkie made his displeasure with the joke at his expense a bit obvious but knew to shut off, he didn’t want to suffer more tonight.
Víctor: “So what is it that you’re crying about in the first place? Is it that someone rejected you again? Wouldn’t be the first.”
Selkie: “No…not that, it’s about my roommate, they left.”
Victor proceeded to yank Selkie onto the bed and placed him on his lap, Selkie used his wings to protect himself before Victor lifted his chin
Victor: “Should have seen it coming, tch, People don’t know how to appreciate the finer things in life, Stupidi coglioni pretenziosi!”
Selkie felt flattered at the perceived compliment and at the fact Victor bothered to learn his native language. He even lightly blushed, never mind that he was fearing for his safety seconds ago. Victor saw this as an opportunity as he continued to speak, rubbing circles on Selkie’s back.
Victor: “You are more special than you seem pet, since I’ve met you I knew it. You are entertaining, amusing, lovely and so much more! You know that, right?”
Selkie: “Yeah…?”
Victor grinned as he tucked a strand of Selkie’s ear
Victor: “You really should not be looking for any of these prudes, they are just idiots who won’t love you. Who else would put up with your fits? Who else has given you a roof over your head and saved you? Who else has given you everything you have? Just me, right, amore?”
Selkie, in an almost robotic tone: “yes, Victor.”
Victor: “Selkie, I’ll always be the best you ever have, do not ever forget it~”
Selkie just nods and then he feels a hand his thigh, causing him to freak out. He starts getting more closed off and uses his hoodie to cover himself
Victor: “what’s wrong? Why are you being so dramatic?”
Selkie: “it’s just…it’s just…”
Victor pushed Selkie off him and pins him down on the bed
Victor: “I’m treating you nicely, did so much for you, and you can’t even let me have do this one thing with you?!”
Selkie: “Vic, I-I’m sorry! I’m just not in the mood tonight! Please…!”
Victor rolled his eyes as he noticed Selkie’s distress and got off before glaring at him. Selkie tried to reach out to Victor but he proceeded to slap Selkie’s hand away
Victor: “Don’t touch me, disgusting freak.”
Selkie’s heart sank as Victor disappeared at that moment, only leaving Selkie in his room. For the rest of that night, Selkie just cried onto his pillows, he didn’t even notice the smug face the ghost had when he appeared again.

So, when I wear boxers, and I walk, it always make my skin below groin irritated. So much, I can't walk, without feeling like I'm cutting my skin. And any boxers I've tried, somehow they curl up, and get more concentrated in there, and it feels like someone is cutting that part of skin. I can't walk without pain. Even with shorts, and with pants even worser.
When I simply don't wear underwear after few days it heals. But I need something when I wear pants.
Normal boxers, tighter ones, which else to try ? Underwear is always soak wet whenever I go somewhere. So that contributes probably. I don't even notice how much I'm sweating in there. It's just wet fully.

Yesterday I got into a car from a car sharing app. I was on the way to a friend. I was just 5 min away from my home (by foot). Suddenly I feel weak and the next thing I remember my car is crashing against a parking truck in the right side of the street. My car does a 90 degree turn and blocks half of the street. It wasn't even a small crash. The whole front is wrecked and the airbags went on. I'm still in total schock. Thank god no one was hurt.
Add to that I will have to pay a minimum of 1000€ for the car. But I'm afraid the insurance wont pay since the other car was parking. I'm so scared of having to pay more. I can't afford the whole car. I would be bancrupt.
I just feel so stupid, the street was so wide how was I so far right anyway. And how did the car get wrecked so bad I was going maybe 35 km/h tops. It's such a dumb stupid mistake. I don't feel like I can tell anyone. I'm just relearning how to drive since I had a long break. I feel like everyone would worry too much about me/not trust me anymore. I'm scared of driving again. Also my phone just got stolen a few days ago and I can't face telling everyone that now this happened too.
About the feeling weak: the best way I can describe it is a small black out but not full on unconsciousness. I sometimes have low blood pressure. It could be related to that (although something like that never happened before). Could also be just from the shock of the accident.
I just wanted to get this of my chest. I've been crying the whole time while typing this. Maybe it will help me calm down a bit.
Where you/anyone you know in a similar situation? How did you get over it? Would appreciate any tips.

There’s a girl at my workplace who I’ve recently become friends with. Initially we vibed really well. Then she started making subtle jabs at me, the way I talk, the way I live my life, and even things that I say. She tries to make me appear dumb, whether we’re talking one on one or in a group. She makes fun of me by randomly laughing at me with others and when I ask what’s the matter she just says “aw you’re so cute”.
I’m fucking 28 and she’s 27.
But I’ve noticed she doesn’t behave that way with boys. In fact she likes to hang out with guys more. With guys she’s subdued, normal. But with us girls she’s loud, obnoxious, always trying to one-up me in particular. And I’ve noticed the way she tries to draw people in is by flattering them. Extreme flattery.
I’d like to remain friends with her but the way she treats me is getting so much on my nerves that I’ve started avoiding her. I don’t want to be a sensitive asshole but idk, just thinking of talking to her makes me anxious because her whole body language says she’s making fun of me. And the worst part is she is ALWAYS trying to one up me, or dismiss what I’m saying, or trying to give unnecessary advice. And if I talk about myself or my life she makes fun of it. Then she starts talking at length about herself, how she’s so good at this and that, how disciplined her life is, how many friends she has etc etc. I even caught her in a lie. When we were with a different group of girls she loudly proclaimed she knew how to cook complex dishes. When we were with another group of girls, she said she doesn’t know how to cook at all. I didn’t call her out but that confirmed to me that she was a liar and it wasn’t all just in my head.
How do I stay friends with her without being a sensitive idiot?
TL;DR A coworker I’d like to stay friends with tries to humiliate and make fun of me all the time.

I should start by saying, I'm 37 years old, from Canada, but moved to Berlin 7 years ago. I played FF on NES and played through FF4 a few times in the early 90s in my youth. Like many though (at least I thought), it was FF6 that didn't just make me appreciate the series, but put video games, in general, in a completely different light. Prior to this, video games were an enthusiastic pass time for a young boy, but the story, and music particularly, of FF6, we're my first foray into material that moved me in a way I hadn't yet experienced. I use to burn the MIDI themes onto CDs, and listen to them on my discman. I was obsessed with the fierce battle theme of Atma Weapon.
I still consider FF6 to be the greatest video game of all time. I couldn't wait for Final Fantasy 7. I bought a Playstation purely to play it, but was immediately slightly turned off by the futuristic backdrop. I played it once, thought it was good, and never played it again. I didn't feel the series needed 3D to evolve. I played FF8, and didn't even finish it. When FF9 returned to it's fantasy themes, I played that, but also didn't finish it. FF6 on the other hand, I played over, and over, and over on SNES roms, as recently as last year, along with other SNES Square classics, but mostly Chrono Trigger. Nothing about what Square did after FF6 really appealed to me. I kept my eye on the FF series from a distant, most of the titles of which didn't seem particularly well rated and didn't inspire me to buy a new console, and so I semi-retired from video games, lived abroad, and lived a very different life from the crowd I observed at Tempodrom in Berlin yesterday. I had an XBox in the 2000s, played a bit of COD and Halo, and played GTA5 on PS3. That was about it (though much more recently got a PS5 and Elden Ring, which I now consider a contender for greatest game of all time with FF6).
I'd always wanted to go to a Distant Worlds concert considering how monumental FF6 was to my youth. I knew I'd be out of the loop, having not played any of the modern titles, but to hear a handful of these themes by a live orchestra was an opportunity I couldn't miss. I looked at the playlist from previous concerts and knew I wouldn't know a lot of the material, but was excited about the potential for the Phantom Train medley to be included in the setlist. The show began, naturally with a lot of FF7 material. While I didn't adore the game like FF6, I respect that FF fans love this game, and that it is actually good. All the cosplayers at the show were characters from FF7. The production was amazing, sound quality excellent.
In the first half, they did 3 pieces from FF15. The images on video screen also didn't inspire me to ever play this game. Still, I expected more people like me, FF6 purists, who wanted to hear "the hits". I also understand that musical artists, like Metallica, aren't going to play every song off their retro, heyday album that defined them, and you have to sit threw some of the junk they've made since then at a concert. I get that. But I noticed the crowd was surprisingly enthusiastic as the conductor announced themes from FF9, 10, 14, etc. I thought, wow, everyone here is going to lose their shit when they finally play something off FF6. The entire first half goes by without any nod to FF6. They must be building up the anticipation, I consider.
After the intermission, the conductor presents "Searching for Friends" from FF6, to what sounded like relatively little fanfare (also one of the least interesting pieces from the game I'd say). The track comes and goes in less than 5 mins. This can't be it, but it was. More themes from FF12, 14, etc. It got me questioning my relationship with this game, and the series in general. Of the two hours and nearly 30 pieces played, they played that one piece, and some of the battle themes in a battle medley at the end (which was admittedly great). Did people actually play FF13? I'm thinking to myself. "This series is nothing without FF6!". So I've come to Reddit to ask the Final Fantasy community, am I alone in this? If FF7 was the spark for the series for vast majority of fans, I can see how a relationship would develop for future titles, but wasn't the return to fantasy in FF9 an attempt to appease people like me? Was a lot of the crowd GenZ who started with FF10, which I hear is great? Is it a German thing (maybe video game culture wasn't as pronounced in the early 90s here/Europe in general)? Am I too old and out of the loop?
TL;DR I'm just a bit sad I didn't get to hear one epic piece from FF6 in a 2 hour concert considering how important that game was to me, and thought the crowd was a lot of people like me....

It’s difficult to word this but I’ll do my best not to make it too long.
As the title implies, praise in any sense is something I don’t feel worthy or deserving of. I can recognise why people give it, but accepting it feels wrong. The best I can say in return is “I just try to be good so things are a little easier.”
An example of one was at a social gathering. I was coming back to our group with food for my partner and I. Two plates, she could choose which she wanted and I’d have the other. The other girls saw this and said how sweet it was not only that I got her food but that I gave her options. Another is regular with the house work. Cleaning, cooking, all the typical things but my partner sees it as a me taking on a lot. She tells me all the time how happy she is with how much I do without needing clean in some cases.
To me these are normal actions. I’m not exactly trying hard or going out of my way. It’s very basic and things I’d be doing regardless. Which makes it almost always feel unwarranted. I really don’t mean for this to sound like I’m unhappy with being praised. It’s more that I don’t understand why I have such a hard time accepting and feeling good about it.

There’s a girl at my workplace who I’ve recently become friends with. Initially we vibed really well. Then she started making subtle jabs at me, the way I talk, the way I live my life, and even things that I say. She tries to make me appear dumb, whether we’re talking one on one or in a group. She makes fun of me by randomly laughing at me with others and when I ask what’s the matter she just says “aw you’re so cute”.
I’m fucking 28 and she’s 27.
But I’ve noticed she doesn’t behave that way with boys. In fact she likes to hang out with guys more. With guys she’s subdued, normal. But with us girls she’s loud, obnoxious, always trying to one-up me in particular. And I’ve noticed the way she tries to draw people in is by flattering them. Extreme flattery.
I’d like to remain friends with her but the way she treats me is getting so much on my nerves that I’ve started avoiding her. I don’t want to be a sensitive asshole but idk, just thinking of talking to her makes me anxious because her whole body language says she’s making fun of me. And the worst part is she is ALWAYS trying to one up me, or dismiss what I’m saying, or trying to give unnecessary advice. And if I talk about myself or my life she makes fun of it. Then she starts talking at length about herself, how she’s so good at this and that, how disciplined her life is, how many friends she has etc etc. I even caught her in a lie. When we were with a different group of girls she loudly proclaimed she knew how to cook complex dishes. When we were with another group of girls, she said she doesn’t know how to cook at all. I didn’t call her out but that confirmed to me that she was a liar and it wasn’t all just in my head.
How do I stay friends with her without being a sensitive idiot?

Hello, currently I am running Spring Boot app on VPS for testing purposes and I can observe that as of now with several requests made it uses 750 MiB. The app itself contains many services, classes, various endpoints, etc.
Is there any way I could predict/calculate/test extensively how would it do if there was 100, 1k or even 100k users? Can I do any testing, calculations, is there anything as of right now that could help me with the prediction? I need to make sure I know at least approximately how much resources to assign for VPS without scaling as of right now.
I understand that for this kind of testing comes various factors, that's why I am asking for advice of what could be done to make sure the calculations are approximately as close as possible to real scenario.
Thank you.

Hello everyone! I'm proud to announce that, as i announced a couple years ago on this sub, Guild Master - Idle Dungeons is now finished and live on the Play Store!
I have always loved both idle and dungeon crawler games, and this is my contribution to a hybrid of the two genres. I did my best to create an intuitive user interface, fun mechanics, and a compelling story.
You will start your guild from scratch, recruit adventurers, and send them to explore dungeons. The expeditions will continue on their own with enemy encounters, findings of secret item stashes, NPC encounters, side quests... You can choose to either leave them alone and come back later to see how it's going, or watch them closely to refine your builds, team composition and strategies.
You will be able to run multiple expeditions at once with different teams: i wanted players to balance their strategy not around a linear progression style, but around the progression of the whole guild: as you acquire more adventurers, you will be able to setup different teams for different goals. A higher level team to delve deep into a hard dungeon, a mid level one that farms ingredients for that legendary armor in a lower level area, and the newly recuited units gaining levels in a starter level dungeon: the personalization of this strategy is up to the player.
Other features are:

• Each adventurer you recruit may have different combination of traits, some rarer than others, that make them perfect for a particular build but not so much for others
  
• A branched class system where you can choose how to upgrade your units as they level up. The classes are really a lot and each one does something different, so there will always be something new to try out
  
• A large amount of items either found in dungeons or crafted from ingredients. They allow for many viable builds, each best suited for a particular situation.
  
• Fully upgradeable guild headuarters: you won't be focusing only on the dungeon exploration part, but you'll need to manage every aspect of your guild: selling unwanted items to visitors, recruiting promising adventurers spending a night in the tavern, upgrading your workshop to craft equipment faster.
  
• Raids are especially hard dungeons you will unlock after a while, each offers a challange with unique mechanics but grants the most powerful rewards in the game
  
• A story where you uncover a dangerous truth as you advance towards the edge of the Kingdom, in a race against time to stop a looming threat.
  
• Extremely low battery consumption, i think less than half the average android game
  

For transparency about monetization: the app has both ads (max 5 per day, must choose to view them) and in app purchases. Every dungeon, class, level, etc can be obtained without spending a cent or watching a single ad, and no content is gatekept in this way.
Thank you for reading until the end, let me know what you think of the game here or on it's subreddit :)

Let me preface this by saying I already know I'm an insult to what doctors do. You're working to help people get better and I'm actively destroying myself, I want to fix that. I apologise for asking for time I know I don't deserve.
Female, 31, 5'7, 130lbs, resting heart rate 71, non smoker, no other substances or history of other substances.
No physical health issues, as of last month bloodwork is normal, ecg normal, urinalysis normal, life long history of depression starting in childhood. Rare episodes of visual migraines.
I have been drinking since 2018, a friend died, I witnessed it and couldn't get the image out of my mind. I never drank before. I was sober from August 2023 to January 2024.
I make sure to take electrolytes, vitamins, hydrate and eat at least once a day. I have never day drank. I have got my drinking down to 250mls of spirits as of yesterday. It was 600mls at my worst. I can go to 19 hours without a drink with only mild withdrawal before starting to feel a bit off scoring a 5 on the CIWA site. Though I am having some random flashes in vision but I am prone to retinal migraines.
My plan is to reduce by half daily. When at 0, use the last of my previous librium script to do one day of 10mg x 2 daily followed by 1 tablet for 2 days. (If I can stomach it)
My GP advised me to taper after I didn't tolerate librium well due to vomiting. I have a history of vomiting and nausea with the medication which reduces my options.
At how many mls of spirits is generally considered safe to stop?
My GP clinic assigns you a doctor based on availability and I've gotten mixed answers in the past. Some have advised to reduce and others have said 375mls and under is generally safe if there is enough time between drinks.
In advance, thank you for your time. It's very much appreciated.