Genuine zopiclone

Hi all,
I'm 28m and I decided to start taking Zoloft (Sertraline) after a personal crisis. Below I will give a day by day of my experience, and here I will give you a little backstory to my situation if you're interested.
One month ago I was broken up with from a 6 year relationship, I had been in a rut (and still am) and basically wasn't being a good boyfriend. We have since begun to work things out, but that was more recently, as for the first couple of weeks of the breakup I experienced an INTENSE level of anxiety, which led to a HUGE OCD flare up, causing me to ruminate on every possible past mistake I could / could not have made (My theme was/is real event / false memory, a particularly sticky one)
The OCD then led to a depression, which I now realise is something I had never experienced before, I can't begin to describe the level of despair / hopelessness I experienced during this time, all while performing mental compulsions nearly 24/7, it was absolute agony.
So, despite my despair I decided I needed help, I was taking Zopiclone to help with sleep as I went multiple days with no sleep, and I was prescribed 50mg Zoloft by my GP.
An explanation of what I'm dealing with: High OCD, high anxiety, moderate depression which waxes and wanes
Lets get into the Zoloft:
Day 1: I took it at 9am after a particularly bad night the day before. I felt relatively depressed as usual all morning and early afternoon, and then towards the even I just started to feel... normal? The intrusive thoughts weren't bothering me, I wasn't anxious, I wasn't dwelling on the past, it was surreal, I was just in a decent mood. I debated whether this was a placebo or not and I still don't know, or just my bodies immediate reaction to the medication, it left me hopeful and a little confused.
Day 2: I foolishly decided to half my sleeping medication during the first night, due to my lack of anxiety I figured I wouldn't need it, big mistake, only got 4 hours sleep and day 2 was a little rough. The thoughts were back, the depression was creeping back and the anxiety was a little bad too. I went through the day in a fairly low mood and went to bed
Day 3: Side effects fully began, I experienced high anxiety, my feet kept sweating, my previous tinnitus became much more pronounced (still is) and I felt nauseous quite often. The depression and anxiety / thoughts came back and were in full swing, this was a very uncomfortable day.
Day 4: Exact same as day 3, barely any difference.
Day 5: First breakdown, the thoughts began to overwhelm me, the side effects were not as intense but my depression / anxiety was amplified. Due to the thoughts I was experiencing an intense feeling of guilt / shame about the past which I couldn't fully remember, this led to the breakdown where I was in a pit of despair and hopelessness. Got through the day still.
**DISCLAIMER** At this point I realised I was tolerant to the sleeping pills I was using (Zopiclone), meaning I was not getting adequate sleep AND experiencing withdrawal which definitely exacerbated my experience.
Day 6: Exactly the same as day 5, constant rumination, constant depression, constant anxiety. However, the side effects had mostly subsided, though my appetite was still gone but I suspect that was the anxiety.
Day 7: This was perhaps my lowest day of all, which I didn't think was possible. Constant rumination, low self worth, depression, doubt, anxiety, poor sleep, stress and a genuine feeling of just giving up, at this point I was considering stopping the medication, I already felt like shit mentally beforehand, and now I juts feel shit physically too. However, I decided to power through.
Day 8: I began this day with a breakdown, definitely influenced by my mental state from the previous day. I got through it and by 3pm I was feeling better, still getting intrusive thoughts but they weren't beating me into the ground like before, my appetite returned, nearly all side effects left (except sweaty feet) and I was just generally feeling okay. I have grown wary of this as I've noticed my moods have been yo-yo'ing a lot since starting the medication.
Day 9: The day I am writing this. Slept well (10 hours) appetite is back, mood is adequate, not low not high, the thoughts are still there but once again not dominating me, it feels as though I'm experiencing some of the benefits of the Zoloft, this is the most consistently normal I've felt in over a month, and I'm enjoying it. I don't know what tomorrow holds but I'll try and update this post each day.
Day 10: Well, the good mood didn't last, not exactly at least, still not in the pits of despair I was in earlier in the week but I tried Promethazine to sleep last night, it had the opposite effect, made me incredibly restless and dizzy. It kept me up until 5am when I passed out for 5 or so hours. Intrusive thoughts / obsessions have come back quite strong today, quite overwhelming actually. Trying to stay strong. It's now 10pm and I'm feeling better and a bit more rational. I've noticed that my mood tends to always improve towards the evenings but the days are quite long.
Day 11: Slept fairly will (Took sleeping pills as I'm tapering off of them) but awoke to immediate intrusive thoughts, they persisted throughout the day and only relented for short periods. It's currently 9pm and I'm still having them, but much like the last couple of days, I've been able to deal with them without falling into a pit of depression. Appetite is still going strong and tomorrow I'm going to try and get some exercise.
Day 12: Fairly good day today, no anxiety, no depression, still some intrusive thoughts but nothing I can't handle, actually beginning to enjoy things again, food tastes good, appetite is back, playing games is fun again, actually have motivation to do things other than wallow. Feels strange but good. Side effects basically non existant today.
Day 13: Best day so far by a large margin, same as day 12 but even the intrusive thoughts are mostly subsided today. Side effects all gone for today (even the sweaty feet!) I'm still nervous about sleep as I've been relying on medication, but as for today my mood is good, my outlook is good and I'm just so happy not to be in that pit of depression anymore.
Days 14-18: I must admit, I've been in such a decent mood these days that I had forgotten to update this, the Zoloft seems to be working nicely, I feel far more rational, my intrusive thoughts do not dominate me anymore, my anxiety seems to have just completely disappeared which is super strange, don't get me wrong, I still feel a little anxious from time to time but no where near what it was, the depression is also completely lifted, this feels very strange (in a good way) I just feel normal again
Days 18-26: Due to the good mood I have been quite active and had forgotten to update this post, days 18-20 were much like the week prior: very good and feeling happy. However, around day 21 my mood began to dip, I'm not sure if this was from poor sleep the night before or if it's just part of the process, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts came back quite strong, as well as a moderate depression. This may be related to the anti-depressants or it may be because of other medication I'm cutting down on (Zopiclone) However I understand it's normal to experience these ups and downs, will keep this posted updated.

I have suffered with bouts of insomnia on and off for years now. I can go for months without any issue sleeping whatsoever but every so often something throws me out to the point I’m at now (3 consecutive days without sleep). my GP prescribed me Zopiclone which seems to have no affect on me whatsoever, I feel as if whilst laying awake in bed my brain is on overdrive (random song lyrics, scenarios, heat fluctuations etc.) but the second I attempt to push through it and get up I feel tired/sick and restless. My friends have commented too things like “you look knackered” which is really hard to hear given the involuntary nature of the whole situation. If I was to drink myself to sleep tonight with an alarm set, would this possibly help to set my circadian rhythm? I have no pressing issues i need alcohol to suppress, I am just genuinely unable to switch my brain off.

I was first diagnosed with Insomnia at just 7 years old, it happened when I was sectioned due to what they called "a bid for oblivion" without getting into details I found myself in a secure ward for 6 months.
Now 32 years later its gotten worse, I have been to sleep trails, still remember the results of the last time I was there "257 minutes of intermittent sleep" & that was with heavy sleeping medications I was allowed to take with me Zopiclone I still remember that Godly medication they put me on for 2 years & suddenly took me off it saying I wasn't supposed to be on it for that long of a period.
Anyway now I am pretty much on Mirtazapine for the remainder of my years, they say its supposed to help me sleep after around 2 weeks, but I have been on them for over a year now & had less than pleasing results. I have been awake since 4am Sunday the 14th. I am basically a walking corpse I feel like one anyway, my muscles ache my head hurts yet I have work to do. My next appointment with my doctor is 23rd May (the "earliest appointment I could get after booking it last month)
Is there anybody out there who's going through this. Because I hate frigging saying this but I actually feel alone, I envy those who can sleep like a baby, my past relationships never had issues sleeping, my friends growing up would always sleep soundly on camping trips, I would be on Scout trips as a teen & it felt like all I could hear were others taunting me, simply by snoring lol. Sounds crazy I know I may be rambling I may be losing my frigging mind who knows at this point? But I would genuinely appreciate some feedback on this topic.

I apologize in advance for the long ass post, but I'm so desperate at this point and I want to give y'all the full picture. TLDR at the bottom if you don't feel like reading through my woes (mean🥲)
so for years now I've diagnosed with adhd, bpd and treatment resistent depression. c-ptsd and bp-2 has been brought up and is under a question mark as far as the medical documents go.
I'm bringing it up since I assume it's at least partially connected to my inability to sleep properly. I've had times where I wouldn't be able to sleep for two to three days straight, but most of the time I just only pass out by 7am at least, regardless of how many hours I sleep. usually I can average out at around 3-4 hours. and no, it doesn't only happen when I'm high energy or hypomanic. it's consistent at all times.
Ive been having trouble falling asleep for at least ten years at this point. up until now ambien (12.5mg) has been the ONLY drug that consistently works for me, but I've been taking it for years at this point and not only as time goes by my tolerance goes up and I have to take more than one for it to work, I can definitely already feel how badly it affected me in other ways. my memory has gone to shit, and brain fog isn't uncommon.
I have 0.5 mg of clonazepam prescribed in case i have a panic attack, and sometimes whenever I run out of ambien taking 2mg (instead of 0.5) helps a little. of course I only started taking 2 mg after trying 1,1.5, etc, but that's not a good solution either since I obviously run out of it fast and I don't have it for when i actually need it. doc doesn't want to up my dosage for sleep specifically.
I'm currently also taking 300mg seroquel xr among other unrelated meds, which the doctor did mention could be helpful with the sleep, however it doesn't do much for me on that end. I HAVE noticed that if I skip a dose I'd DEFINITELY not sleep that night at all, however.
some of the notable stuff I've been prescribed over the years were doxylamine, mirtazapine, trazodone, olanzapine, zopiclone, zalepon, lorazepam, brotizolam (which did knock me out but they don't want to prescribe this one to me permanently), and a bunch more.
weed does help me fall asleep during the times I've tried smoking before bed, however I genuinely hate the way it makes me feel otherwise, and I haven't gotten my license yet anyway. so that got me thinking:
I've heard cbd oil helps some folk, however it's extremely expensive where I live, and I wouldn't want to spend over 100 bucks for something I'm not 100% sure would do its job.
has anyone whos had lots of experience w many pharmaceuticals not working find use for cbd oil? if so, how much % cbd did it have? any specific brands you'd rec? do you guys have any other suggestions at all? I'm so tired all the time and the fuckin ambien has fucked my brain up for good at this point I feel like.
TLDR sleepy bitch that went through a billion meds that didn't do shit, looking for alternatives, please help etc etc.
I'm open to any suggestions! thanks a bunch in advance, love u guys😭

Hiya, sorry this might be convoluted and not sure if it’s the right sub. It it’s psychiatry related But I’m now wondering is my psychiatrist wrong because GP was adamant and got a but condescending
Big TLDR; I’m bipolar type 1 and have been feeling more and more manic for almost a week, psychiatrist says yes I’m manic but Gp disagrees and will not prescribe PRN to help with the agitation when it occurs and restlessness when my heart starts up or lack of sleep become overwhelming while I titrate to a higher dose of my medication to stabilise He says psych must write to him (I’ve just changed teams) but other GPS have prescribed it without issue (old old psych gave the go ahead for any prn years ago as long as it’s not max dose of benzos) and tried to get me an urgent appointment
I have bipolar 1 and I have a bipolar action plan and recently started lamotrigine but not yet titrated to full dose (was so depressed horrendously awfully depressed like full on felt like eeyore) so I annoyingly has to go private for another diagnosis (was diagnosed many years ago but I moved to a health team where they ‘never received any notes’ so they withdrew my antipsychotics my anti depressant and my adhd meds as they apparently saw no evidence I was ever assessed (o know they had that at least because they said at a meeting once oh we can see your diagnosis and like it’s not exactly a easily mistakes assessment I’ve seen some that could be but not that) and I had a manic episode that was horrendous, it started off typical really happy like everything was looking up, stopped sleeping so much and liked to talk to everyone and everything, wanted to buy an iPad and art stuff to set up a graphic design business (I can’t draw I’m bad really) and took out about £4000 of credit to do so ans began drawing people I knew and posting them on social media etc and everyone was lovely but reading back they responded as if I was a child doing a stickman in school , then I moved out into a flat with my bf and pressured him to do so even tho I had no stable income, argued with my family because they tried to stop this As they knew what a terrible idea it was and were worried because they’d seen something familiar like this before with me So we moved our after viewing the flar and me paying the deposit then and there and forcing bf to come with me to buy furniture I was going to paint etc, I was on the sick from work so hardly no money and then I began drinking loads because I wanted to go back to having fun as I started feeling agitated and irritable and sleep was non existent for days at a time Eventually ended up with the firm strong belief that my boyfriend and his mates and his brother especially were up to no good, i analysed it all like bc had sweet potato fries which I’m allergic to when he went to get food with his mate and I really believed he did that so it would transfer to me when he kissed me and then I would get really ill or die, I kept quiet and kept a little book of ‘incidents’ and times they happened and then one Saturday night I went out with him and his mates and the brother who I was veeeeeery suspicious of and convinces was planning something because I thought I’d I’m there they won’t be able to come up with anything Don’t remember much of the next following days but the night ended when his friends bought drugs and I said it’s laced you don’t know your dealer he’s laced it and you’re going to make me snort it and I just ran home as fast as I could, my gran said I rang her saying Mitchell was trying to murder me and I was running and then I got in my flat and freaked, so grandad started driving down to get me to take me to the hospital - during him driving bf had come home in a horrible angry drunk mood (he is NEVER angry) saying I need to stop he can’t take it stop saying he’s trying to hurt me to people and I freaked I totally freaked, I slammed down a bottle of elvanse I had but hasn’t been taking because my grandad had only found a surplus bottle the week before and I had like 28x40mg in me and then I blank out but I know the police were called because I had a knife and every time bf would walk in the room to just see if I was coherent I would scream and wave it at him and lunge so he’d get away
Anyway put under crisis team given zopiclone clonazepam as I don’t get on with diazepam after having it for so many years and I dislike it, and I think seroquel iirc to take for the mania then they transferred me to that mental health t am and they refused to continue prescribing medication and I was cold turkey
So fast forward to Jan I went private as I moved back to my old healthboard and the wait was sadly 3 months so I thought no gotta get this done now - 3 hour appt with consultant psych specialist in bipolar and he said yeah it’s bipolar one (Nan and Bf were there and she told about the start of it and what’s happened in the past and what she notices and BF explained about the bad mania and the depression that followed) and he said alright you’re going on either lamotrgine or lithium, I’d rather try you on lamotrgine first as lithium is my last resort but if this doesn’t work well try that
GP agreed to prescribe immediately as she could see I’d had bipolar type 1 even on my previous GP notes and just did it immediately
Now rn I feel the start, I have my action plan and I’m trying so hard because it can’t go bad again I nearly died of a heart attack last time or murdered my bf in psychosis, I can’t do it. So I realised about Saturday that I was feeling really upbeat etc and in a great mood, didn’t sleep that night and so on and so forth until it was brought up by family that it was time to being out the action plan - rapid speech, not shutting up and wanting to talk about new things all the time, reduced sleep and buzzing around like a bee with energy, I even thought about moving again but I transferred all my money to my nans saving account so I won’t be able to do that. We went to psychiatrist from old team and he said yes you are manic, I can see it very clearly because I know you and also this is textbook start; so he said he wouldn’t prescribe the prn himself because I changed CMHT the next day and didn’t want there to be a problem getting the script next time as it wouldn’t be under the GP etc and he said prn like this should be accessed via the GP like you always have done
GP says no way, he would never. It’s not ethical or best practice as he isn’t a mental health doctor ( his colleague gave me prn that I shouldn’t be using the day before mind you) and he said he does not think I am manic as I didn’t go on any tangents in my 5 min appointment. Grandad was with me and said but the doctor said this and now she’s under a different team and they can’t see her just yet so she needs this PRN while her lamotrigine finished titrating and she stabilises, we have never had an issue in previous GP’s surgeries a or even in yours to get a prn prescription which she has no charge over because we have it for emergencies since she can’t always identify behaviours etc I asked him to document his decision to refuse and he sort of signed and said he’d adjust the lamotrigine up as per the treatment plan on the system but that was all
Anyway I’ve phoned bloody everywhere, new CMHT say the Gp should be giving it as I’ve had them off them before, they can’t issue it rn as they’ve never met me and only know my name and from a few notes as some have been lost/refused to hand over by bad team. Medical secretary said she’d do what she could but the medics have to talk about it etc and it may take a while, Friday at the earliest to hear back and she’s really sorry but they have to work out a long term plan not just give her this and go away like and I get that totally
Out of hours said they were so sorry to my grandma and said he can hear I’m hypomanic at the least but he genuinely could not prescribe that as an out of hours and to ring back tomorrow if it gets any worse and he’ll try his hardest to get some sort of assessment, he said crisis team isn’t an option because I’m not in crisis and he was really like nice and said you’re doing everything you can to prevent a crisis ans that’s a big step into not letting bipolar take control
So yes, I’m at a total loss of what to do. I’m not sleeping, I did a 12 hour shift today (literally had an hour out to see GP then phone CMHT so bo lunch break lol) I’m full of energy but it’s not feeling so great now it’s like I’m buzzing in my own skin and my heart is going and I just want to not go into full blown mania, I really can’t do that to the people I love
Is there anything I should be doing differently? Is there anything they can do? Am I overreacting or overthinking it all? Is my GP right or have the others been wrong?
Sorry if this isn’t the best sub for it but if you’ve read this and have any advice (or not) thank you :) x

I've been prescribed Pregabalin since 2020, initially for anxiety and later for nerve pain too. I take between 300-600 mg/ day. These past four years have been the weirdest and least productive of my whole life. I've gotten a lot of weird symptoms, both physical and psychological. I'm starting to realize that Pregabalin might be the cause of it, though my psych prescribed it to me as an "innocent" and harmless drug. I've been getting a double chin on and off without any significant weight gain that would explain it. It looks like the tissue on my neck/ lower face is swollen, but not as bad as a genuine allergic reaction. Hard to explain.
I've also had WD symptoms that I didn't really understand and contributed to something else. For example I get an itch under my finger nails and want to jump out of my own skin. I've been very depressed.
I'm slightly scared to stop taking it but I'm also scared to continue. Should I cold turkey? Is there any drug that can help me through the withdrawals? I am prescribed medical marijuana which has helped me get off zopiclone, ADHD meds, tramadol and muscle relaxants. Pregabalin, seemingly, is harder to quit imo.

I’ve never posted here but I decided too finally because i’m at my wits end, I haven’t slept properly in almost a month am continually tired and have severely increased anxiety and trouble concentrating and focusing. I’m supposed to move onto campus for school tomorrow and am considering giving up my semester because I genuinely don’t think i have the brain function to learn or study properly.
This all started because I finally had a decent full time job with a regular schedule and as someone who generally had a shit schedule and didn’t do much during the day this messed up my whole sleep schedule somehow.
It’s like I was stressed about not sleeping enough for work before it even happened the first time and I would never be able to sleep the night before work properly. If i was lucky i’d get maybe 2 hours or go to work without any sleep. And I never felt tired after work either so it would continue the same horrible cycle over and over again. Eventually I lost the job due to having so many shift changes and days off & now for 2 weeks still haven’t been able to fix my sleep.
I sleep in weird 1-2 hour bursts when I do sleep where I wake up in between for a bit and fall back asleep. But rarely do i get more than 5 hours a night (sometimes it’s 5 hours every 2 nights). And even when I do sleep it’s only after lying in bed awake for like 8 hours and my body finally just passes out from exhaustion.
I can’t function my concentration and focus is gone I zone out constantly and mix up words when i’m trying to talk to people sometimes. I’m supposed to move out and into residence for school tomorrow and i’ve been contemplating waiting till next year instead just to see if I can resolve this. The problem is i don’t see a solution.
As of last night i’ve tried sleep hygiene techniques constantly a variety of different boring activities before and after originally going to sleep and more. I’ve been prescribed several meds from different doctors, so far i’ve tried in this order Ativan, Diphenhydramine, Zopiclone, Trazadone and Mirtazapine. None of them have given me a full 8-10 hours but zopiclone managed to get me 6 consistently but i got them from the ER and ran out because they gave me very little.
My anxiety has skyrocketed to unmanageable levels making the sleep even worse that cycles into the anxiety making it worse as well. I feel like there’s no way out and i’m never going to function normally again.
Anyways before these 3 weeks i’ve had small bouts of intermittent insomnia but never to this degree for even close to this long. After pushing through the one week of full time work at normal hours it feels like I lost the feeling of being tired and now just feel more and more mentally unwell instead of tired.
Looking for any possible solution originally my anxiety about other things kept me awake but now anxiety around sleeping itself is the issue so i’m constantly in fight or flight mode at night and during the day i’m either getting a few intermittent hours of sleep or awake trying to do anything productive while feeling like a walking corpse.
Sorry for the really bad punctuation and grammar

yesterday was INSANE. it all started with me feeling extremely empty and nothing, like i couldnt feel anything so i tried to think of things to upset me. that's when i realised that i may have childhood trauma??? like i wrote a bunch of things down bc they all just suddenly popped into my head like i didn't remember them before.
first it was me being bullied in year 3 and crying in the toilet then me remembering that my mum used to physically discipline me as a kid (it was normal in my household) and not feeling like i got much love then me being bullied in secondary school and always feeling left out and then me having sex at a young age with older guys.
after that i realised i couldn't be helped and i spiralled downwards and then i felt like my bf didn't love me then i was convinced i was evil and i needed to die because ive done so many terrible and manipulative things to my bf then i went out and cried for like 30 minutes on a bus then i was feeling extremely paranoid like people were watching and following me. after that i felt really anxious like i was gonna have another panic attack.
then i was ranting to my bf about how evil i was and how my purpose in life is to destroy all of my relationships and die alone and drag people down to my level because i dont want to get better. i genuinely still just want to get worse i want to go mad so at least i know what is wrong with me because i might not even have bpd like idk who i am its SO FUNNY.
ok THEN, after taking literal ZOPICLONE which was prescribed to me for sleep, i had this huge burst of energy and went out in the middle of the night on a nightbus and i felt SO GOOD AND ENERGETIC AND I COULD SOCIALISE i felt like the best, like it was cold, but i didn't even cARE. then when i got home i did some guitar (was finishing off mixing a song) then i slept. i also tried to get discharged from treatment but they dont believe me.
this morning i feel great, i just saw the treatment team, they dont want to discharge me bc stupid me told them about my negative thoughts yesterday, but im sure im not mentally ill and ive just been being dramatic because i want people to recognise me probably because i didnt feel that in my childhood. but yeah im good now im so happy wtfff i dont need meds or anything??!?? and when i am upset its just me acting because im either emotionally abusive or i just want attention or i want to feel worse!!! but yeah none of that matters to me bc im fine actually i am frankly ecstatic!!

Tl;Dr Keep going in circles with the mental health team and not getting anywhere with getting myself some help. It feels like they just don't believe me or think I've actually got a problem or something.
A little while back I had time off work and now I'm signed off by the doctor in total probably around 4-5 months.
People have said throughout my life that I should see a doctor about my negative thoughts and since my thoughts have become dark enough to really want to act upon. So I started talking to doctors about my problems.
At the start I said it was due to my insomnia which has been going on since around 11 years old not being able to sleep and being very quiet and reserved and generally either sad or angry.
So when I first went to the docs the header on my file was anxiety/depression but I felt it was more down to the insomnia and said so.
They kept and kept pushing me towards mirtrazapine antidepressants and after reading some really not nice accounts online and on Reddit I decided not to continue with the pills.
Most meetings since every doctor has tried to push me onto the pills and I've said I don't want to do that now.
So they've been asking what I want from the service and I've said we'll help understanding why I'm struggling so badly with relationships and generally with everything.
I do struggle with low mood and anxiety but I thought they would basically make me take medication for it and I didn't want it.
So they prescribed me Zopiclone for my sleep on the short term and they made me feel sick and they won't prescribe me any more and ok fine whatever just back to living with it.
The GP put me through to the Neighbourhood team who I've had a few meetings with now and I'm unsure what to think about how it's gone and where it's going.
3/3 meetings have been spent asking what I actually want from the service and asking me what my problems are.
Every meeting I find I'm repeating myself about what the problem is and that I don't want medication and I'd like some form of therapy.
Then they're asking what kind of therapy I want and what do I want to achieve from it... but it's driving me crazy because I've told them in every meeting what my problems are and that I don't want medication I want therapy instead.
So the latest meeting we go through yet another circle of going over the SAME STUFF! They then say to me... "So what would you like from this service".
I almost lost it and snapped, I said didn't you say you'd refer me to therapy in the last meeting? They say no because... "They weren't sure if I was going to commit to the therapy."
I genuinely got angry at this point and felt so annoyed, wound up and basically felt completely overlooked and dismissed.
They went on to say that "We can't recommend you to the therapy if you're saying you're going to hurt yourself or others."
This blew my gasket as what the actual hell? What you're not going to help me if I feel suicidal I don't understand I just want to stop feeling like this or find a way to deal with it better.
Ontop of this the mental health professional also likes to keep hinting towards going to work and getting a full time job as if I'm some sort of lazy layabout who hasn't been working full time for the past 7 years, albeit 3 years were in Uni which is full time.
I got up and said forget about it and walked out and I don't know what to do now.
Prior to this I've spoken to them about suspicions regarding borderline personality disorder (which I was told I almost 100% have by a separate hospital), ADHD and autism. My attempt to get an assessment was completely swept to the side by the MHP who basically said nooo I don't think that at all, but you can get an ADHD assessment blah blah blah.
Well excuse me you've sat with me for a total of 2-3 hours talking about the same problems all the while huffing and puffing and looking like they just want to hurry up and leave.
So eventually I phone for the GP for an the assessments and they say well that's what your next meeting is for. So in the next meeting I said I would like the assessments.. .and now they say no I can't do that for you, you need to ask the GP.
So the GP sent me to the MHP who sent me back to the GP. So I called the GP and asked for the assessment and once again they zoned in on the ADHD and forgot about literally everything else.
What the actual hell.

I've seen countless posts on reddit and forums of people complaining about the strange effect that zopiclone, in particular, gives after taking it. I don't mean the taste of the medication itself, which is very strong and bitter but the way it makes everything taste after.
Once it enters the blood it has an effect on tatse that some people call metallic, and how it ruins the taste of everything else after or even the next day, but I feel like it's closer to a minty taste, but still neither Minto, nor metallic.
I quite enjoy it, and not just because I've associated the taste with a feeling of relaxation and anxiolysis, but I genuinely like the way that it makes drinking water so physically pleasurable with a cooling sensation (I guess that's why some people say its like menthol but without the menthol taste), and I also love how everything tastes after taking it.
I've only seen a few posts from people who enjoy it, but surely there must be others like me out here on reddit?
It's like a little 'bonus side effect' of it when I've been prescribed it 😊

A bit of a straight forward question, but a genuine one.
I’ve suffered with on-and-off insomnia for about 10 years now, and I’ve had insomnia for as long as I can remember. Doctors prescribed me with zopiclone 3.5mg but doesn’t seem to be helping.
I’m just curious, let’s say the night before I get 2 hours of sleep, and then in the afternoon of the same day at about 3pm I take another 2 hour nap… Does this decrease the chance of me falling asleep at a normal time before 12 that same night? Even if i’m just catching up on sleep that i didn’t have the night before?
Weird question and might seem a bit silly but i’m just trying to help understand why I may not be able to sleep at night as often as I usually do.

I have found ways to exit and reduce sleep paralysis episodes. I have become numb to the horrid dreams I can experience next to every night since I was about 11(34yo).
However, in the last few years its all taking toll, effecting going to work.
Insomnia, in combination with the sleep disorders I already have, feels like it's crippling me.
I feel like I live another life in my dreams where I am genuinely spending energy, in combination with waking up often means that sleep is not a restful experience. Unless I'm very drunk I don't sleep all the way through anymore.
My sleep hygiene, is something I now take very serious and I don't know how to improve it further.
Sleep Hygiene: No nicotine, chocolate or sugar after 9pm Bed time at 930pm Read for 20 mins, phone away Sleep at just before 10 Phone no longer has blue screen No late night meals No snoozing alarms No lay ins No being in bedroom other than to sleep Bedroom always clean and clear
Meds: Mirtazapine Zopiclone Prazosin
I am now thinking of situations quite macro. Should i change jobs, career, lifestyles, friends?
Because what else can i do?
Whe i was a young kid i had amazing, lucid, fear free, fun, restful dreams. Now I cannot tell if my dreams keep me awake or if im dreaming because Im waking.
Therapist says im normal. Sleep study says im normal.
Anyone got any advice for someone that has near perfect routine/sleep hygiene, tried most meds and therapy options but still feels like a sack of shii everyday?

I have found ways to exit and reduce sleep paralysis episodes. I have become numb to the horrid dreams I can experience next to every night since I was about 11(34yo).
However, in the last few years its all taking toll, effecting going to work.
Insomnia, in combination with the sleep disorders I already have, feels like it's crippling me.
I feel like I live another life in my dreams where I am genuinely spending energy, in combination with waking up often means that sleep is not a restful experience. Unless I'm very drunk I don't sleep all the way through anymore.
My sleep hygiene, is something I now take very serious and I don't know how to improve it further.
Sleep Hygiene: No nicotine, chocolate or sugar after 9pm Bed time at 930pm Read for 20 mins, phone away Sleep at just before 10 Phone no longer has blue screen No late night meals No snoozing alarms No lay ins No being in bedroom other than to sleep Bedroom always clean and clear
Meds: Mirtazapine Zopiclone Prazosin
I am now thinking of situations quite macro. Should i change jobs, career, lifestyles, friends?
Because what else can i do?
Whe i was a young kid i had amazing, lucid, fear free, fun, restful dreams. Now I cannot tell if my dreams keep me awake or if im dreaming because Im waking.
Therapist says im normal. Sleep study says im normal.
Anyone got any advice for someone that has near perfect routine/sleep hygiene, tried most meds and therapy options but still feels like a sack of shii everyday?

I took it an hour and a half ago now. It’s 5mg, that’s what they had to give me at the psych ER. Maybe this dose is just too low to work?
I kind of feel like I’m drunk in some ways. Hard to think and type properly. Hard to coordinate my body when getting out of bed. You get the point. The only effect that I usually get from alcohol but zopiclone doesn’t seem to be giving me is feeling tired. And I get a weird taste in my mouth from zopiclone that I don’t get from alcohol, but that was expected.
Is my body broken or something? My grandma swears by her zopiclone, and it’s helping her a lot. It helped my mom too in the beginning, but she had to go off them because of dependency. Maybe my grandma should too, because she keeps increasing her dose and I’m scared of her tripping and falling in the middle of the night because she will break bones, she has post polio and all that it comes with including easily breakable bones.
Will the effect come soon or do I genuinely not get tired from this medication? Is my dose too low?

Hello people! I'm really struggling and am looking for some support and advice.
How do you deal with protecting your hearing? And living with this? And just... anything really. Apologies in advance for the incoming essay. It is RIDICULOUSLY long.
I developed tinnitus in one ear after a shitty rock concert (which I didn't even enjoy, wore earplugs at, and wanted to leave but convinced myself to stay at!) 7.5 weeks ago. I immediately went to A&E where I was told "too bad so sad", told I would have permanent hearing loss in that ear and given diazepam as I couldn't stop panicking. At the time I thought my tinnitus was "severe" which is hilarious now because it could easily be covered up with a handheld fan! It was moderately reactive though would return to baseline after 10 minutes or so.
I spent an entire week in high stress as I am a naturally anxious person and have struggled with severe OCD in the past so I went to my GP who prescribed high dose steroids for a week as my hearing was slightly muffled in my "bad" ear. She advised me not to take them because of them being "nasty" drugs and told me the main thing I needed to do was to learn to relax, but I was insistent. I wish to God I had listened to her.
From day one the steroids caused my tinnitus to increase and to pop up in my other ear too. They also caused severe mood swings and worsening neuropathic pain so I was in an extremely tense state for that week.
After a few weeks (the earliest I could get in thanks to the NHS disintegrating) I saw an ENT and audiologist who did some basic tests and claimed I was fine and to keep living life as normal, and I went home depressed and demoralised. The journey there and back took 4 hours because I live in the middle of nowhere and caused a massive spike, which I then stressed over, making it worse. The only way I've been able to sleep these past 7.5 weeks is by taking zopiclone every night which, due to its nature, is losing efficacy, and occasional benzos which I'm sure haven't helped the situation but my anxiety and insomnia are so intense that without them I start self-harming and enter an intense panic state which just makes everything worse.
I made sure not to avoid every day sounds as I didn't want to develop hyperacusis (oh irony of ironies), but wore earplugs when in situations that I knew could be noisy. Although the tinnitus sounded loud due to other sounds being cut off it was not intolerable.
Anyway, I started to come to terms with my situation at the end of week 6 and then experienced a MASSIVE noise trauma from a firework going off right next to my ear, from a neighbour's garden, while out on an otherwise extremely quiet nighttime walk. I hadn't bothered to put earplugs in as I live in a rural area and so wasn't expecting to hear anything other than the occasional owl. I was carrying ear defenders but obviously did not have any warning so couldn't get them on in time. At the sound of the noise (I was not even 2 metres away) my whole body tensed up in alarm and I swore loudly from the shock. I immediately experienced pain and a sense of tightening in both ears and every little noise on the way home sounded both intolerably loud and echoey. There was a sense of fullness in my left ear (the previously "good" one), but not my right.
I went straight to bed and hoped it would all be fine in the morning but woke up to far worse tinnitus and found that sounds were still louder than they should be in my left ear. I called my GP who said that I should be fine and that I should try an antidepressant! I couldn't convince her to contact the ENT department and have no direct access to them.
Stupidly, I deliberately continued to expose myself to "normal" sounds by leaving the window open, tapping at my keyboard loudly, closing and opening creaky loud doors etc as this is what I'd been told to do initially by the ENT and various NHS advice pages online. I ignored the occasional pain these sounds were causing because I didn't want any fear of sound to become entrenched and lead to what I have unfortunately ended up with.
After a few days of this it just continued to get worse, with increased sensitivity to everyday sounds and more frequent pain.
THEN yesterday I managed to slam a metal cable against a metal chair less than an inch from my right ear and immediately experienced the exact same feeling as I'd had after the firework. The burning was immediate and intense.
I panicked and took some of my left over steroids, hoping they'd heal any damage done to my sensitised ears (which I'm aware doesn't make much sense given that they CAUSED issues before but I could not think straight - part of me still wants to continue taking them just in case).
I took a ton of benzos and a sleeping tablet last night as it was the only way to get to sleep with the tinnitus blaring out (it's too loud to be covered by anything now and genuinely impossible to sleep through without meds. It still wakes me up every 2 hours and I have to take more).
Due to the sheer volume of sedatives I consumed last night I managed to get my best night of sleep in weeks (though it was still divided into segments as the tinnitus gets so loud I wake up in panic every two hours thinking an alarm is going off) and felt relatively calm upon waking. The hyperacusis seemed more intense than ever which isn't surprising given that Lorazepam, which I'd taken the night before, has always caused temporary hyperacusis for me in the past when wearing off.
I managed to stay calm and to try to hold onto some shred of hope until mid-afternoon when the noxacusis really started flaring up again. At first I was just getting a slightly delayed stabbing feeling in my right ear after ordinary sounds (though especially things like ripping toilet paper, crinkling foil, touching my scalp) but about an hour ago I suddenly, out of nowhere, experienced an increase in volume of tinnitus in my right ear to the point I became genuinely frightened. It was quickly followed by stabbing nerve-type pain in that side of my head and deep, stabbing, burning ear pain which has not gone away since. I feel like I want to shove ice deep into my ear canal for some relief.
Sounds which had previously been "safe" from provoking pain, which are mostly lower pitched sounds, are now unbearable too.
So my question is... what do I do? How do I stop this from getting worse when there is so much contradictory information out there?
I'm now at the point where I have to wear ear defenders just to pee because the sound of it hurts BUT wearing the ear defenders immediately makes the tinnitus totally intolerable, to the point it feels like my skull is vibrating and I truly cannot process any thoughts. I just freeze up and can't think because of the incredible, overwhelming volume, plus the second I take away any outside nose the tinnitus just goes bananas, fluctuating in pitch and adding more tones which remain when I take the muffs off. Earplugs are an absolute, definite no-go now.
So how do I protect my ears? Can I ever leave the house again?
I'm currently living with my mum and her partner (in my 30s - yay) and they do not seem to be willing to be quiet or to understand the severity of what I'm going through. The house is also old and extremely loud with cracking floor boards and banging doors everywhere you go. The walls are paper-thin too so even a distant flush of the toilet or clicking of a light switch sets the pain off. Any time I leave my room I am liable to be exposed to loud noise and so am essentially confined to one very small area.
Up until the firework going off I was feeling incredibly low due to the reactive tinnitus but could envision a way forward with habituation. Now I feel utterly lost and am extremely suicidal. All I can do is sit in my room with a fan on a low setting (without it the tinnitus would, no joke, cause me to kill myself straight away) and be extremely gentle with everything I touch. I can no longer type on a laptop or write or draw (which were my only "housebound" hobbies) because the sound of a pencil or pen on paper is excruciating. I haven't been able to wash my hair in days because the sound of water provokes pain and increases the tinnitus, even in the bath. I can't even go near the shower. At least before the nox/h I could have a relaxing bath with rain sounds playing and a nice bath bomb, then do some painting and listen to the birds outside my window.
I am trying to stay as calm and hopeful as possible but how can I when this is my life? I had a relatively busy social life before this, was working and had a new job lined up, spent a lot of time looking after my brother's kids who I adore, was finally learning to drive, travelled to see friends, was learning a new language, exercised multiple times a week, and generally spent a lot of time outside in nature, at the theatre, at galleries. All of my hobbies and the things that made life worth living have been taken away from me.
I am now jobless, essentially friendless (since they are all extremely busy and have young kids and pets and so are very noisy), single (the guy I was with is very social and couldn't deal with it), completely isolated to a dark room, and feel utterly without hope or joy.
For the last 7.5 weeks I was barely living. Now I feel that I am barely even existing. Oh and eating anything at all causes my blood sugar to spike and sets of the peripheral neuropathy so I can't even indulge in food for a little joy or comfort.
The things I loved the most have all been snatched away in a moment and all I can think about is my inevitable suicide. I've planned it. I've thought about it in great detail. And the thought of killing myself and escaping this hell is the only thought that brings me any kind of relief. I can't even call the Samaritans to talk me down from the ledge.
So what do I do?
Please give me some kind of hope here. Even if the answer is that I'm doomed I need some little glimpse of hope. I'm moderately religious FWIW so any Jesus-y preachy stuff is actually welcome in my case. I want to live but not like this.
I have not tried any types of therapy for this yet as they simply don't seem to be available where I live. If this is the wrong place to post this then please direct me to a more suitable community. Thank you.

Hi all, I hope this finds you as well as you can be.
Sleep. Bloody sleep. I'll keep this as succinct as I can. If anyone can work out what on earth is going on and anything that might help I’d be over them moon.
Problem: Since my LC journey began in March 2022 I have genuinely not slept for more than 40 minutes at a time. I am of course absolutely exhausted each day and indeed when I go to bed but when going to bed I manage to fall asleep for 40 minutes and following that I wake every 2-5 minutes until I finally get out of bed. At this point I am often stuck in a strange kind of shallow dream loop where I wake up and drift off again into the same dream and repeat over and over until I go slightly insane and get out of bed. My brain is on overdrive in this tone, not really asleep and constantly thinking. I also wake sometimes gasping and started. I have heat regulation issues so often overheat but this is not the case all the time (tried to combat this with just sleeping using a light sheet). Pass a lot of urine in the night too (I make an effort not to take on much fluids before sleep but the problem still persists).
What I've tried/ meds I'm on: H1 and H2 blockers, mast cell stabiliser, magnesium and melatonin before bed. Recently switched SSRI from Sertraline (Zooloft) to Mitrazapine as Mitrazapine supports sleep. This did not help. Zopiclone (sleeping tablet) which knocks me out but I wake in same cycle described. CBD oil. Smoking weed. Brown noise whilst sleeping. All the usual sleep hygiene guff (no phones before bed, breathing exercises etc). Salt intake before bed. Cold shower before bed. Warm shower before bed. Swearing. Blaming the dog. Hitting myself in the face with a saucepan. Etc.
If anyone has any advice or potential solutions they have found for chronic LC sleep problems I'd greatly appreciate your thoughts. A long shot and perhaps difficult for people to advise given the range of things that could be going on physically and perhaps indeed psychologically but I have reached a significant impasse.
Thanks everyone. Take care

TW for self harm, suicidal ideation, CSA, substances etc its all just quite fucked up. Throwaway obviously.
About two years ago during lockdown before we lived together, he texted me saying he was having mental flashbacks of something sexual that happened when he was younger and it wouldnt stop replaying in his head. He never brought it up again but it really upset me and I didnt like that he never spoke about it.
He is autistic and was selectively mute as a child, only talking to trusted adults and his twin.
A few weeks ago we did MDMA. We were in a bad patch already and he already lost trust in me for my actions the days prior(benzo binge due to a trauma trigger - I threw away all the pills when I realised how much of an impact they were having on him). I asked him about the messages a couple years back and he turned into a ghost and started muttering and being non-responsive. All he said was he was 9 (he's FTM trans) and [insert fairly popular old pop song here] was playing and that's all he remembered. He then turned over and stopped being responsive for the rest of the night except muttering.
He immediately afterwards developed paranoid psychosis symptoms (hes gone inpatient for psychosis before due to stress) and has been having somatic flashbacks about 10-20 times a day, battering and punching his legs and screaming "get off me get off me!!!!" and its extremely hard to pull him out of it It hurts so much to watch him reexperience it and have to intervene with him hurting himself while hes in a flashback. I have a long pillow that I told him to punch instead. It feels like watching a little child be raped and doing absolutely nothing to help every time.
He fell into substance abuse with me because I felt so guilty I just wanted him to sleep. He couldnt sleep because every time he closed his eyes he saw it happening again. Drugs numbed him out and stopped the flashbacks happening as much so I enabled it for a while. During this 2-3 weeks I was an enabler because I didnt want him to go through the somatic flashbacks because he kept screaming he could feel it happening again and I couldnt bear to watch him be in pain and scared like that again and grounding techniques just weren't enough for the severity of the flashbacks.
His psychosis and flashbacks got so severe he ended up severely suicidal and at times I had to fight him to get him to stop self-harming. I flushed all his blades but because they were so big, they stayed in the bottom of the toilet bowl. I had to manipulate him to unlock the door and he was fucking cutting himself with a toilet blade. He got a blade out of the fucking toilet - it had been in there for about 2 weeks and we had been shitting and pissing in there and it hadnt been recently bleached because we are both going through it.
I had to fight him to get it off of him, it was really deep so I cleaned it thoroughly with rubbing alcohol. I then gave him a dangerous cocktail of drugs to get him to sleep. This felt borderline traumatising because I shouldve made sure the blades were gone. I had already given him clonazepam, pregabalin and zopiclone when this happened but he just wouldnt close his eyes. I had the same and had to fight sleep to keep him safe. He kept asking me where I had hidden the sharps and said he would just wait until I was asleep to hurt himself more. I gave him more zopiclone and 100mg tapentadol (strong opiate) and had to force myself to stay awake until I was sure he was asleep. I checked his breathing and made sure he was on his side.
The next morning he was super wobbly all day and in the evening he was still all over the place, I was genuinely worried for his safety at this point but I had taken a bigger dose of the drugs and he is larger than me so I figured he would sleep it off. I had to wrestle him the whole night and restrain him to stop him from hurting himself. He kept saying he needed to die now and he couldnt take it anymore.
I called 999 and an ambulance came. I asked him if he would be ok for 30 seconds while I let the paramedics in. I had hidden all the sharps I could find but when I came back after 30 seconds he was digging into his leg with a pair of scissors. I went in the ambulance with him and didnt get home until 12:30am. All his vitals were fine and the paramedics reassured me he hadnt overdosed and to be fair what I did to get him to desperately sleep ia probably what a lot of people would've done in the situation and wasnt necessarily the wrong thing. I didn't want his psychosis to get worse or him to hurt himself while I was asleep because I had to stop leaving the house for 2 weeks to keep him from hurting himself and to calm him down, give him lorazepam etc when he got paranoid or started having flashbacks.
He almost immediately went inpatient to a psychiatric ward and was watched 1:1 for the first night. He hurt his head for 5 minutes before any nurses noticed because they werent watching him for a little while and he started having flashbacks.
I feel so guilty. I feel like it's my fault for all of this. I cant cope knowing he is hurting himself because a sick fuck raped a 9 year old autistic girl who trusted him because he was nice to her and she didnt really speak to anyone else who went to gymnastics. He never told a soul, not even his twin. He stopped going to gymnastics after because he wouldnt stop crying. No one bothered asking why.
I listened to the song mentioned because I actually didnt know it and I want to be sick. I feel so fucking guilty for opening this up again before he was ready for it. I hate that he blames himself. I hate the sick fuck that raped a fucking vulnerable 9 year old girl who then never told a soul and locked it away in her mind until I brought it back up. I cant stop crying I feel so guilty.
I'm just looking to vent and also seek reassurance. Maybe it was my fault? I dont even know. Im kind of traumatised from the whole situation. I feel responsible for making things so much worse but I dont know what else to do. I tried at several points to go "ok no we arent going to abuse drugs anymore theyre gonna make this worse" and he would tell me theyre the only thing that helps and without the drugs helping he would want to kill himself. I am just so fucked up from this and I hate sleeping alone and I cant stop getting intrusive thoughts about him being raped as a child and its agonizing. I feel like its my fault he has had to go inpatient.
This situation is throwing me further into substance abuse while he's inpatient because of my guilt.

Gut health: •Fasting •Anti inflammatory diet (carnivore for example) •Gut treatment (candida, dysbiosis, leaky gut) •FMT (fecal microbiota transplantation)
Supplements: •NAC (n-acetylcysteine) + Sarcosine •Maca •Mucuna pruriens
Meds: •Lyrica (pregabalin) •Benzodiazepines (Valium, Xanax, Klonopin) •Nardil (maoi) •Parnate (maoi) •Vyvanse (dextroamphetamine) •Adderall (mixed amphetamine salts) •Modafinil •Memantine (nmda antagonist) *Zopiclone
Psychedelics and dissociatives: •Ibogaine •Psilocybin («magic mushrooms») •Ketamine (dissociative)
Various: •Hormonal treatment (TRT) •Allopregnenolone (Brexanolone)
Feel free to add to this list if you’ve had positive experience with other substances or methods.
Personally i have tried the following:
*Fasting (improves brain fog for me)
•NAC + Sarcosine: (this seemed to help marginally in the beginning but faded with time. The profrontal brand did nothing for me)
•Lyrica: (one of the most effective meds Ive tried for anhedonia but mostly in the beginning, but effect fades and you have to take breaks. It also has some bad side effects)
•Benzodiazepines: (Diazepam makes me feel more present and reduces brain fog).
*Baclofen: (Sorta turns on the social part if anhedonia in ny brain and i can much more easily socialize naturally. Other than that it doesnt really do much).
•Nardil: (works marginally well at higher dosages but side effects are insane. Cognition and brain fog improves, more motivation and less anxiety and depression. Never really touched the reward part of anhedonia tho).
•Vyvanse: (this one helps the motivational aspect of anhedonia and slightly the pleasure reward but quickly fades if you use it without breaks. Bad side effects too. Good part is that it Lowers brain fog and makes my mind calm
•Modafinil: (this one in combo with Nardil at low doses is ok for energy and being more present but also needs breaks quickly to be able to get the best effect from it)
•Memantine (nmda antagonsit): (improves anhedonia while titrating dosage but doesnt last and you have to adapt to the brain fog/dissociated feeling. Also very good to prevent/slow downt tolerance to meds like Lyrica and Vyvanse.
*Zopiclone (this is probably the one that has the strongest effect on my anhedonia. I feel «awake» and alive and can enjoy conversations, tv, music and food better. I feel more engaged and can genuinely laugh. Only lasts a shot while tho and potency fades with continued use without breaks. Gives me hope tho).
•Ketamine made me feel leas anhedonia during the treatment but sadly it quickly faded
•TRT (tried a couple of courses, didnt work for anhedonia and had nasty sides like hairloss)
•FMT: didnt make any different (might try it again after i fix my stomach). Rifaximin which i took prior to this did slightly improve emotions tho.
Thanks. - Donut

I've had the same psychiatrist for about five years. By and large, he's a good Doctor, inasmuch as he doesn't dismiss everything I say, or treat me like a child. He also gives me diazepam or Zopiclone when I really need them, which I appreciate. I had an appointment with him last week that really wasn't good. This appointment had been brought forward because in terms of mood and being a danger to myself I'm worse now than I've been at any point in the last five years. I realised he has no idea who I am. I had a mh assessment which was discussed with him, in which I talked extensively about relapsing into drug addiction, and yet he was surprised when I told him I'm using again. He's forgotten I have an eating disorder, despite said disorder meaning I've lost 11 stone (i was very fat...). He kept interrupting me midsentence and generally acted like he was extremely irritated... got the impression he'd have rolled his eyes if he could. Cut me off mid sentence a number of times and was generally quite dismissive.
Like I said, I've always found him helpful up until now. I don't blame him for not remembering me, I know they have massive caseloads and people far more ill than me. It just sucks because all they'll ever know about me is BPD. It sucks because I have so much going on in my life to cause these feelings which they should be aware of, but I dont think they are. The same psychiatrist will be seeing my son soon. He needs to know that he's my son to understand both how my son is feeling (with a mother like me) and how my son being unsafe at the moment is impacting on my mood.
I don't know, I don't blame my psychiatrist. Like I said, they have a massive caseload. I'm just really sad. I always trusted that if I never said I was suicidal unless I really, genuinely was, they'd be there if I genuinely felt like that. My psychiatrist said he'd see me in six months. It's really shit to realise that when I most need these people, they're not there. I don't mean emotionally, I know that's not their remit, but practically. I dunno, a med review or something.
I feel like if MH services can't help me now, they never will. And if MH services can't help me, no-one can.

23M, duration of complaint: 11 years, no medications, I smoke cigarettes and i'm around 6 foot/65-70kg
Since I was 12 years old I've suffered from very bad insomnia, seemingly with no cause. I feel tired as I should, but when I close my eyes and try to sleep I could be lying there for 5-6 hours before I fall asleep. I've had maybe 4-5 weeks total in those 11 years where I haven't had these problems.
Starting about 8 years ago, it got to the point that I would miss whole nights at the very least once a week, up to 3 times a week, and occasionally I wouldn't be able to sleep multiple nights in a row. I think the worst it got was 3 nights total.
For the last few weeks I've been having weird feelings in my chest, around my heart. I wouldn't describe it as pressure, moreso just that I can feel that my hearts there. I get occasional pains in my back, sometimes in my chest if I stand up quick and rush off somewhere, and sometimes I get palpitations out of nowhere (even when lying down), that I can literally see with my eyes.
My question is, given that chronic sleep deprivation can lead to heart failure, am I being dramatic and worrying too much like my family has told me since the issues started, or am I at genuine risk of having issues?
Thanks in advance
EDIT: I'd like to add this as well just in case it sets off any ideas in someones head as to what might be the cause of my insomnia in the first place;
In the past I've been tried on a LOT of different medications to help solve this and not one of them has helped
This included; Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine (most effective, cut it down to about 3 hours trying to sleep but gave me horrendous nightmares that woke me up), zolpidem, zopiclone, sertraline, citralopram, seroquel, lyrica (which I ended up being prescribed for anxiety, basically fixed it over the course of a year, no longer on it), valium, gabapentin, and I've tried over the counter sleeping pills to no effect.

I won’t be posting a tl;dr. Read if you’re interested, if not - skip. My story only makes sense in its entirety.
I will be 26 this year. I started having insomnia around the age of 14. It’s been going on for almost half my life now.
It did not start suddenly. It was a gradual process of me starting to sleep worse and worse. This meant that I did not immediately realise something was off. Once I did though, I went to see a general practitioner. She directed me to various experts: neurologists, psychologists, cardiologists. The first one did a very general check-up, the type where he bangs my knee with a hammer, said I was alright. The cardiologist just said my heart was fine, and the psychologist did 1 session only with me, asked general questions like: do you have stress or trauma in your life (I don’t), and then told me I should exercise more and prescribed me Zopiclone. I took it once, slept okay, but later read more about it and decided never to take it again. None of these doctors took me seriously.
At that point, the thought of not knowing whether I will manage to sleep or not, especially after a couple of nights of zero to no sleep, the stress of having to go to high school the next day and be judged on my zombie-like appearance by my peers, lead to some very severe anxiety / panic attacks in bed. A few times I genuinely thought I’d die.
At that point my general practitioner prescribed me Hydroxyzine under the brand name Neurolax and later Atarax. She assured me that it was harmless and did not cause addiction. I’ve now been taking it practically every night for the last 10 years. I have had periods where I’ve stopped - usually a week or two - but they’ve been due to the fact that I couldn’t buy it on time. I realise that this chronic use is bad, very bad, for the rest of my body. However it’s gotten to the point where, with it, I still sleep bad; without it, I sleep terribly, or not at all. I’ve tried to limit my use, however it’s difficult especially when the more of it I take, the better I sleep, usually.
How does my insomnia manifest? Well, it’s never really the same. Already even on the best of nights, the minimum amount of time it takes me to fall asleep is 30mins. Could go up to hours. My mind keeps racing like a wild horse and I can’t keep it calm. Sometimes I fall asleep relatively quickly, but then wake up multiple times, not even needing to use the bathroom. And sometimes, I wake up very early, hours before I should have, and I feel extremely nervous and unsettled, so much that I can’t fall back asleep. There are also times when it’s a combination of the three, and other times when I actually sleep fast and don’t wake up, but feel exhausted in the morning all the same.
BTW, I’ve also tried countless mediums, natural healers etc. Needless to say, none of them helped. I’ve tried teas, melatonin, and any other OTC drug there is for insomnia. Nada.
Since it’s now been years, I’ve more or less become used to it, and only notice when its extremely bad. I try to live my life as normal as possible, and I do not forbid myself the occasional party, since I’d sleep bad anyway. I moved to another country for university, and then once I graduated, to a third one to work (European here).
I now live in Spain. I have a really good private healthcare insurance, and I’ve tried seeing a doctor here as well. I saw a general practitioner who - SURPRISE - said I’m fine, and that I should exercise more. Prescribed to me this 15gram melatonin pills that are illegal in Spain so said I should order them online (???). I asked him to please direct me to a sleep doctor. He replied to me with something I had heard one too many times: “You’re too young, you can’t have insomnia, you’ll be fine.”
Recently somehow I managed to book an appointment with a specialised sleep doctor here. It was this young woman who is one of the best professionals I’ve ever met. I went there with a lot of scepticism and generally ready to hear more of the same. However, she listened carefully, asked lots of questions, and MOST IMPORTANTLY ! For once in my life, took me and my problem seriously. The best part is - she sent me to get a polysomnography next month. I can’t wait. I can’t believe that for the first time in the last 12 years, my condition has been met with respect and I will undergo tests that might finally pinpoint the problem and provide a more precise diagnosis.
Thank you for getting to the end of this post. I will post an update once I get my results. Love you all.

I’m so sorry this will be long.
For some context: I am in England, so my primary health care is the NHS. Private healthcare is not an option for me sadly.
I was diagnosed with TN five years ago, and TMD (Temporomandibular joint dysfunction) a year ago. Both of which affect the right side of my face and the two together are absolute agony.
Through that time I’ve been trialed on a LOT of drugs. Amatryptaline, gabapentin, pregabalin, opiate pain killers (cocodamol/tramadol/morphine), and a bunch more I genuinely cannot remember the names of.
The last six weeks have been hell. I’ve had a flair up of attacks like I have never experienced before. I can only compare it to contractions during childbirth, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t even speak. I can’t care for my children so they have to stay with their father. I can’t work. I cannot function and it’s making me so suicidal. A month ago my GP finally started me on carbamazepine. He said the reason he didn’t start me on them before was because of the dangers for feral abnormalities if I have another child (I’ve been begging him for sterilisation for years but that’s a whole other thing).
I had a very very severe attack that lasted for days and it was relentless so I finally went to A&E. the trigeminal neuralgia support networks online said that the hospital would be able to numb my face, give some sort of injection, etc. But the doctor I saw was adamant that he couldn’t do anything for me at all. Told me I couldn’t have any pain relief, that I basically just had to live with it. Then began to blame it on my low mood, and said the attacks are occurring because I’m so stressed (ofc im stressed- I’m in agony constantly). He said the best treatment was a “good nights sleep” and prescribed me zopiclone and diazepam and told me to take both together. The zopiclone would make me sleep and the diazepam would loosen my jaw.
I made an appointment with my own GP, again told him I was coping so poorly that I’m genuinely suicidal, and his response was to give me more zopiclone and more diazepam and essentially sedate me. I can’t function and I’m so foggy I’m struggling to understand how to space my medications through the day.
Carbamazepine, zopiclone and diazepam feel like three VERY strong drugs to take at once (I’ve been told to take them all at bedtime). And if I’m having an attack at that time I would need to take tramadol as well. That feels like so much very strong meds and it’s scaring me.
I don’t understand how any of this is going to help me. I don’t understand the best way to pace my medications without turning myself into a zombie. I feel like my GP just isn’t listening to me and I’m being treated as a hysterical woman who Either A) can’t handle pain or B) is seeking opiates.
Can anyone help me work out what to do next? I’ve just taken my carbamazepine with diazepam and tramadol, and I’m so spaced out, and foggy, and nauseous. And it’s still not stopping the attacks. I can’t carry on like this.
Tldr: Can anyone suggest what to do next? Or help me work out how to space out my medications properly if I give you a list/dosage of what I take in a day?