Just going to be a rant. For context, I’m a high school senior and I’m about to graduate high school Tuesday next week. I’ll be licensed in LA County by late June. I’m not in this profession for the money but it’s demoralizing to hear that peers and friends are making $20-$25 at a McDonalds, In-N-Out, Target. I love feeling like I’m making a genuine difference in a patient’s life. I’ve already learned so many things on and off the ambulance when it comes to patient care and what it means to be a healthcare provider.
Why is that after hundreds of hours of studying, $2500 of tuition, $1000 of out of pocket costs. And yet, I’m paid $18/hours?? But fast food workers are paid so much more :/

I know this is a very silly question but hey, I’ve been feeling kinda insecure and nervous about it recently. I graduated highschool in 2021 and I took a gap year, then got a certificate at conestoga college, and now on my second gap year. Im finally starting university to get my B.A in English in September, but I’m feeling kind of anxious about being 21 in my first year bc most people in their first year are 17-19 and fresh out of highschool. I’ve been on a few tours of the school, and man I just feel so out of place, even though I’m really not that much older.
Just wondering if anyone else is starting in September and possibly feeling the same way as I am. Feeling too old to be able to make friends and have a fun uni experience. Or if there’s anyone who’s been at guelph for a while and entered as a mature student and wants to share their experience, please do!
Thanks for listening to my silly anxiety question and congrats to everyone who accepted their offer to guelph!

I have a sibling who did his undergrad at UCCS and he said the school helped him a lot with internships. He is now a full time SDE with a 120k salary. He graduated last year and moved from one job to another. I don't think he was a stellar student, he just happened to have a lot of internships / work experience.
I was wondering if the school accepted people with a non-CS background into their program?

M(27) here. Back in my high school days as usual may mga bully. Usually nyan yung mga tamad mo na kaklase na walang ambag kundi pangpatawa lang sa classroom; nakakatawa naman sila pero pag may pinag titripan yun lang yung hindi nakakatuwa. All 4 years of my highschool classmate ko na sila, apat sila. Ako yung type na lalake na madaldal sa mga kaclose tapos gwapo (ito description sakin eh, sorry na agad) pero at times tahimik lang din. First 2 years ko hindi nila ako pinag titripan or anything, casual lang din ako sa kanila. Until 3rd year siguro nag iba yung ihip ng hangin siguro nung araw na yun, nagbabato sila ng libro sa harapan ko, pinapadaan lang sa mukha ko. Hindi din talaga maganda mood ko noong araw na yun di ko na maalala bakit. For the record hindi ako palamura and I rarely get mad; so dahil ginagawa nga nila yun ulit ulit, tapos inaasar nila ako na di tayo pinapansin guys oh! Very clear pa din sa memory ko yung nangyare, "PUTANG INA NYO HA, KUNG ANO ANO NANAMANG KAGAGUHAN NAIISIP NYONG HAYOP KAYO." tapos nilapitan ako ng pinaka-in a way, leader nila. Nilapit nya mukha nya tapos sinabihan ko sya sa mukha nya "GANTO KA DITO BRAD KASI DI KA MAKAGANTO SA INYO, DI KA MAHAL NG MAGULANG MO NOH GAGO" Kita ko yung kamay nya na gusto ako sapakin malamang, lastly sabi ko "SUBUKAN MO, TANG INA MO TALAGA"
After ng school syempre kinakabahan ako baka abangan ako eh, hindi naman. Pero nag sorry ako the next day sa mga nasabi ko, naguiguilty kasi ako pag may ginaganun ako hahahah after nun never nila talaga ako pinag tripan or what, pero feeling ko parang nag ti-tip toe sila pag di ako nakangiti.
Kayo ba?

What do you think? We never learnt about speciation in school (actually we completely skipped evolutionary biology, astronomy and even WWII, unlike my brother who went to the same school with me). I discovered a lot of these things by accident, you know, through YouTube (particularly Aron Ra), browsing Wikipedia and of course this sub.
Did your middle/high school bio or science teacher educate you on how speciation happens, and on the evidence for common ancestry? I imagine that a lot of teachers do a poor job, especially if they're creationists trying to mislead children through all the falsehoods of creationism and anti-science apologetics.

Currently a University of Winnipeg student with hopes of graduating by the spring or fall of 2025.
I have not taken the MCAT yet, I am scheduled to take it at the end of this summer. I was however curious and wanted some advice..
I'm nontraditional (I believe... I'm new to all this lingo). I took a gap year after high school and moved to another province to work. After about 4 years I moved back to Winnipeg and went to the University of Winnipeg where I've been working full-time and attending school part-time/full-time (depending on the semester). Upon checking I have:
Cumulative GPA: 2.891
Institutional GPA:2.976
and I still have 30 credit hours remaining (only 6 credit hours of mandatory courses and 6 humanities, the rest are electives) and was planning on taking some courses with Athabasca to work on before the fall semester begins.
I wanted to know some thoughts/advice on how im doing, what I can do to improve, etc.
I am a Manitoba resident and was hoping to get into U of M. Im open to other schools but due to ease and cost, Manitoba is my first choice.
I feel a bit scared as I am worried im not doing so well. I know I can (and will) improve, but wanted advice on my stats.
I'm currently working with an OT to manage my ADHD, discipline, consistancy and scheduling to help me going forward and for when I eventually (fingers crossed) get into med school :)

I am a high school teacher (9th grade), and I am wanting to expand my classroom library. I started keeping track of what my students checked out this year, and I noticed the handful of manga and graphic novels I have are what's being checked out the most. I also have students making requests, but I have been hesitant to just buy these books willy-nilly without knowing what I'm getting into. I want to add to this collection, but I have no idea where to start. The books I currently have were inherited from the teacher who had my room before me. I don't want to put anything in my library that could get me fired, but I don't have the time to read through everything I buy for the kids. I have a few Attack on Titan, 1-3 One Punch Man, Assassination Classroom 1-3, and some others. Any suggestions?

I was hired as a preschool floater teacher and have been working for a week. Today I go to work and see they hired another floater teacher. Today was her first day. Do preschools hire more than one floater? I'm thinking maybe because the new school year is starting in August and they need more staff because more students are coming? I hope they don't let me go and keep her lol

Hi all,
Would love some eyes on this situation I encountered today with my dog.
I often run her at the local high school field and, at a certain time, a group of retirees brings their Labradors. I make an effort to go either when they aren't there, or to take my dog to the far side of the field, where she and that group mind their business and don't intermingle.
I went there today for the first time in a month or two, and, not thinking, thought that it would just be us because people weren't off work yet. Because of this, I opted to have her walk off-leash with me 20 feet from the parking lot to the field. (She is always e-collared when off-leash, so she had that one.)
When we got up to the field, I saw that not only was the Labrador group there, but a group of small dogs was also present. I told my dog to heel, thinking we'd walk straight by to the far corner of the field that is open for use. (Background on this: my dog regularly walks off leash in a heel with me along our beach trails, where many leashed and unleashed dogs are present. She is very used to walking past other dogs, even mean ones, and isn't fazed. I wouldn't have asked her to do this if she hadn't had a track record of doing it successfully.)
That was, apparently, ill-advised on my part, because someone's evil tiny Chihuahua mix runs up on us. I told my dog to heel again, making an attempt to arc away from the approaching dog, but the dog (with her owner close behind) didn't stand down.
This is where things went sort of south. My dog started inching out of heel and I called her back into it, but as the dog approached, she broke out of heel again (which is when I would have and should have corrected her, but her e-collar was set to the lowest stim just for communication, not correction -- or when I should have made her sit, or sent her out, and handled the dog myself.)
A kerfuffle ensues. The tiny dog is yapping and snapping, my dog, hackles up, is romping around. The tiny dog tries to bite her multiple times, chasing her, and my dog corrects her, not even making contact, and the dog comes whimpering back to its mom, not a scratch on it and walking just fine. Her owner tells me "that it served her dog right" and that my dog is beautiful--meanwhile, my dog and a Lab briefly sniff each other, no trouble ensues. As a general rule I don't allow her to greet dogs I don't know, so I call her to a middle, re-engage her with her tug, and off we go to our clear corner of the field.
The little dog was none the worse for wear, my dog kept appropriate space from the other groups, we played and trained, etc.
But regardless of the relatively positive outcome: I'm beating myself up over it. If I'd had her on a slip lead, or a regular leash, or a leash and a prong, I could have kept her in a heel and corrected her for breaking it. If I had the e-collar dialed to a higher level, and corrected her firmly enough the first time for breaking heel, I also could have corrected her. If I had just turned around when I saw them coming, I could have saved us the trouble of being in a bad situation. If I had been more assertive with the other dog maybe she wouldn't have felt the need to break out of heel at all. I'm asking myself if this is considered reactivity--we worked hard to make sure she didn't react when another dog on leash acted out-- And then I'm wondering: was it actually okay that my dog made an executive decision to create space between herself and that dog, and to correct it with a lot of restraint, and to re-engage with me once the other dog was no longer trying to bite her? Would I have wanted her to hold a perfect heel while another dog tried to bite her in the leg? (That is a genuine question: I can't make heads or tails of it.)
Either which way, I'd like to train reliability through situations like that. Part of me wants a game plan to go back at the times I know those groups will be there. I know one person who brings her working K9s to the dog park and requires them to completely ignore the dogs around them, and to hold focus even when the dogs are sniffing or harassing them. (I don't know if I'd consider that "fair" or "reasonable" and hesitate very much to do that with my own dog, even though her dogs are impeccably trained.)
Any thoughts or perspective on this collective screw-up would be appreciated; it's very jarring because we haven't had any incidents in ages when she's been off leash, largely owing to her engagement and obedience with me when we're out in public. I'm super disappointed and concerned and want to compensate for it in training if I can.

The Context:

/JoeRogan is a subreddit dedicated to “Joe Rogan, JRE, comedy, cars, MMA, music, food, psychedelics, science, mind-expanding revelations, conspiracies, insights, and fitness & health...and all other cool shit.”
A user posts a video of an LGBT-branded cop car in Toronto. The post uses the video to express incredulity over the state of “Trudeau’s Canada.”
Users begin to push back on assumptions made in the video, debate the use of what has been termed the “one joke”, and Trudeau’s role in this. In addition, other Redditors get involved in a sexually-explicit slapfight.

The Drama:

Things get very personal:

LGBTQ police is a clown show. It's not hyperbole. It's not my job to educate you in what red fascism is. Get an education.

They aren’t LGBTQ police, they are just normal police in a car that is showing support for trans people’s right to exist. God I can only imagine the stupid hateful shit your relatives said when bathrooms became desegregated in the south. (Also your first paragraph is 100% an example of hyperbole, as a member of the LGTBQ becoming a police officer has zero overlap with an actual clown show, but at least we know you don’t know what hyperbole means).
I never asked you to educate me on what those terms mean, what I asked is for you to explain what you mean without using hyperbole and buzz words.

Instead of spending time learning about fraudulent postmodern theories you should go to school and learn what they mean and ask for a refund from the education institution you attended.

You're an old fat fuck, get on your bike and off reddit. Go touch grass

Your mom is next to me and she says your like this because you have a micro penis. She says you took after your dad and you should just be ignored.

[Continued:]

Lol you have baby dick from using juice I bet

Actually your mom says it's the biggest BWC she's ever seen. Bigger than most BBC she's had and she loved those until she met me.

It's too bad your old bitch body has no testosterone anymore to even get that little baby dick up, even taking your TRT.

Your mom makes sure I get hard every time.

That's why your woman came to a young stallion like me, she got sick of fucking your limp baby dick and the dildo you got her. But the best was when we made it a 3 way with your mom, cause I dig the GILF's. Your mom sucks it good

But what of the filmer?

I know the guy filming identifies as a douchebag.

And you must identify as a little crybaby

Seriously, if someone doesn't think that was funny as shit, why are they even in a Joe Rogan sub? I watched in 5 times and laughed each time lol.

Can’t take a joke but can take dick smh

Is taking dick a bad thing?

[Continued:]

No? Did I say that? But not taking a joke is definitely a bad thing, no doubt.

I mean you were using it as an insult so it seems like you think being gay or taking dick is a bad thing.

One user objects to the length of Trudeau’s tenure:

Trudeau has been in power for a DECADE. WAY TOO LONG.

He has won three elections in a row. It is called democracy.

It'S cAlLed DeMoCrAcY. Really? Explain how it works.

What are you even arguing here? That’s literally democracy.

Who voted to paint cop cars with the LGBTQ flag? Are they the private soldiers for their cause?

[Continued:]

It's already explained honestly and factually how/why that exists in reality, (AKA cop cars promoting pride), in lucid and plain English.
Basic insight about how the Canadian hierarchy of leadership works though is: city=mayor / premier=province / prime minister = country
If you want to focus on fucking Trudeau, we can discuss that too.

Minority LPC pro LGBTQ far left red fascist government inacts FEDERAL LGBTQ legislation enforced by LGBTQ police.
BASICALLY LGBTQ minority government with its own laws and police. They're even building their own LGBTQ monuments in Ottawa the capital of Canada.

Ohhh you’re just brain-dead. Sorry for triggering you.

The “one joke” is called out:

Sigh One joke

Still funny

You’re a redditor.

Ew

You have more karma and posts than the average account and you did it in 8 months 🤣

[Continued:]

You post more in a day than I do in weeks. At least I’m not on your level lol

I'm not the one obsessed with complaining about Reddit. You're a loser and you can't ever leave this place 😂

I’m here for hobbies. You’re here all day making fun of strangers. Yet you call people losers.
Thus the username.
I hope your day gets better.

Who’s obsessed here?

And they say it's not being shoved in your face and you can just ignore it lol

Lol you fuckers think of gays fucking more than the gays

Nobody thinks about fucking more than gay men, nobody.

Nah bud that's just you projecting

Nah i know gay guys, you wouldn't even want to know their bodycounts.

[Continued:]

Isn't it amazing how horny most men are? The limiting factors for men are their looks, personality and especially sexuality. When men fuck men, there are very few limits.

Nah, you know men with low standards. If women had such low standards even you would have a high body count.

Hahaha what a fucking loser

Two get into a slapfight over blackface:

I knew blackface was wrong at 20. You didn’t?

What if it’s a joke?

Give me the blackface joke in context you enjoy

The it’s always sunny in Philadelphia Lethal weapon remake episode. When did everyone get so PC?

Your example is an actual commentary on blackface, you realize?
You remind me of the people that made Chapelle quit comedy where they only laugh at the ‘Rick James bitch’ part and not think any deeper about the jokes.
Your own episode example ends with a white savior gag. The joke in that context isn’t the blackface itself being the humor like Trudeau’s.
I’ll ask again. Do you have a personal example you enjoy that isn’t meta?

[Continued:]

That’s the only thing that came to mind. But a joke can be a joke without me thinking it’s funny or enjoying it. Never thought a comedians subreddit would be so uptight.

You keep saying it’s uptight, but can’t even give an example, which is entertaining from the pro-blackface guy
There’s a Tosh argument about how any subject is fair game at a comedy club, which I agree with.
There’s another argument that is just gaslighting, like blackface in the 2000s was normalized for everyone and standalone blackface gags were funny to anyone. That’s preposterous as a stance because like you, I can’t think of an example of that either.
There are funny instances playing up the offensiveness, like Downey and Always Sunny, but there isn’t a case of Trudeau’s ‘I’m black guys, get it?’

I don’t need an example. Also, don’t need you to feel a different way about this. You can be offended. You’re not the only one.

If you’re going to counter my point with ‘what if it’s a joke?’. A basic follow up question may be asked for the examples of the jokes you found funny as a reference.
Your critical thinking definitely fits on this sub

I don’t need to find something funny for it to be a joke.

[Continued:]

If you’re gonna defend its place in comedy, an example of the joke you find funny is necessary to at least see if what you’re arguing for even exists

The Flairs:

• “It'S cAlLed DeMoCrAcY. Really? Explain how it works.”
  
• “Wokester are ridiculous people and their ideology should be ridiculed publicly”
  
• “If women had such low standards even you would have a high body count.”
  

Hi all,
I’m 26f and have been single for seven years now. I had a very bad physical health complication which landed me in the ICU when I was 18 and none of my high school friends at the time hung around, so I’ve been virtually friendless since then. I’ve attempted to make friends through my work, family members and university but nothing seems to stick. My last real dating experience was in 2022 and I was quite fond of this man, however he led me on for four months before becoming nasty and telling me “would never consider me as a long term partner” and that it was just fun to “have a girlfriend without the labels”. All the way through he had been telling me he really liked me and alluding to us becoming a couple.
Ever since then, I’ve been very depressed. I had bravely thrown my hat into the ring and truly thought I’d found a genuine person. My studies at university are going well and I exercise a lot as a hobby but I feel very isolated in the world. I spend my weekends at home (I live with my parents) doing nothing and feeling despondent. I don’t want to be so desperate for love and companionship but it’s been a long seven years and the last experience has made me scared to ever put myself back out there.
Does anyone have any advice on how to give yourself the love that you know you’re longing for?

I (31F) am a college student pursuing meteorology. I went to my school today to speak with an academic advisor. The wait time was an estimated 2 hours according to the system they use. I arrived at 3pm and at 4pm, a family walked in and checked in. At 5:30pm, the dad walks up to the desk and started speaking very rudely to the two ladies working at the front desk about the wait time and was trying to demand to be bumped up because they were waiting for awhile. Mind you, I had been waiting for two and a half hours, very patiently. He left the desk and I stayed quiet, but was listening to the conversation because I’m nosy lol. Around 6pm, his son came in talking to the ladies the same way his dad was speaking to them earlier. I stayed quiet at first, until the dad was given his two options: 1) stay and wait or 2) be taken off the waitlist and that they could come back another day. He immediately goes “please don’t talk to me that way” when the lady who gave him his options was not being rude to him. At this point I’d had enough and spoke up saying that I had been waiting longer than him and that nobody saw me going up to the desk berating these women who were just doing their job. He told me that since I’m not faculty, that I needed to “shut up” and “mind [my] business since I’m only a nobody student.” I saw red at that point and said, “Excuse me, but you have no business speaking to me or anyone else the way you have been. Just because I’m a student doesn’t mean you can disrespect me or the ladies working at the desk who are just doing their job. I suggest you work in customer service so you learn how to talk to people with respect versus acting like an entitled brat. Just because you’ve been having to wait doesn’t mean you get to be bumped ahead of the line.” He said something along the lines of going back and minding my business but I had said what I needed to say. With all this said, AITA for confronting him?
I will be going back to the academic advising office and bringing them Starbucks gift cards because they had to deal with him.

Hiii, I need help. I was deferred from Electrical Engineering to Mineral Engineering at the University of Toronto and also received an offer from McMaster University for engineering. I'm grateful for both offers and like both schools a lot. I visited both campuses and talked to the students and recruitment officers.
Although Mineral Engineering is not my top choice, I don't mind exploring it because I've heard about the job prospects. However, I have always leaned towards Electrical or Mechanical Engineering because of the courses and co-op I took in school and because I find them interesting. I asked the UofT admission officer about transferring programs, preferably before the school year, because I know it is difficult to do after the school year starts. I would need an 80% average after the first year to switch programs. Although I believe in myself and know I'll work hard, I don't believe in myself that much😭. They said I can transfer before the school year given my end-of-school-year marks in July and space availability, but it is not guaranteed.
At McMaster, I liked the student life and the extracurriculars alot. I know its engineering program coop is not as highly ranked as UofT, but I believe I'll work hard to get a coop because employability is hard everywhere now. However, I did not get free choice, so I still have to work hard to get a good GPA to get into Electrical Engineering. Furthermore, I live in Toronto, so I would save more money at UofT compared to McMaster with residence and a meal plan. What should I do? Should I take the risk and accept UofT hoping I transfer in the summer or should I go to McMaster for engineering and work for electrical.

Hello!
I am currently a PGY-1 IM intern, about to start second year. I have $68000 remaining in student loans (which includes interest), all from med school. I’ve been on the standard repayment plan making pretty minimal payments monthly ($620 required each month, I’ve been paying $800 monthly). I’ve been hearing so many things about how I shouldn’t be paying more on my loans now because it can hurt me in the long run, get my future job to help pay, etc. I don’t think I want to do PSLF right now. Future goal is to start working as a hospitalist after residency. My school gave us horrible financial exit counseling so I would appreciate any insight or tips on how I should go about paying these loans. Should I be paying more now and making a dent on the principal, switch to a different plan, pay just the minimum now and pay more later? Thank you so much in advance!

My son is in going to be in 9th grade next year and because the high school is three miles away I'm thinking of getting him and electric bike for his birthday. He is currently 6' 2" and doctor says he will grow to around 6' 7". I don't want to buy a bike over 1500$ and haven't been able to find much online. I need some recommendations for an E-bike.

So I have weird question.
I would like to help a relative out preparing of his JEE exam in the near future. It will be a good refresher for me.
I have taken several university level courses in the past (cal II, physics II)
So my question is what level of university do you need to ace JEE exam.
Q1: Do you think 1st year university courses in Math/chemistry/physics are enough to teach someone JEE?
Q2: If not, do you at least think 1st year university courses are enough to ace the JEE exam.
What level of university is enough to teach someone.
Because at the end of the day its a high school exam but I need to fundamentally understand the material so I can do the question in my first try.

I completed masters and now going to attend REU program in super high ranked institute. Super scared since I come from lower ranked school and people give me a look - what's grad student doing in REUs?
Anyone who is like me? Feels sooo weird

Hello everyone,
I've been lurking on this sub for about half a year now, and I want to share my story of how I ended up here (on this sub, and in my life). My intent with this is to inspire self-reflection and show how a problem with alcohol develops; highlighting how it doesn't always start with "hitting rock bottom" or some serious incident. For me the change was slow, taking years before realizing I have a dependency on drinking. I hope that this may help some people catch themselves early, or perhaps provide some support to those who are aware of the daily struggles of alcoholism. Apologies in advance for the long post...
Let's flash back to 4 years ago, 2020.
I was a college student and had my fair share of fun, casually drinking on weekends with friends, but I used to be one of those people that would see others with addictions (smoking, drinking, etc.) and think, "That could never be me", or, "How could anyone let themselves go that far". I only drank on the weekends, and during the week I stayed busy with school, friends, and hobbies. I never found myself with the desire to drink more than what was socially acceptable, and life was good. I was going to graduate at the end of the year, I had my whole life ahead of me, and I was excited to land my first job.
Come December 2020, I graduate with no offers yet, and COVID causing big hiring problems. I lived at home with my parents and continued the job hunt for a few months, and eventually got a great offer. The only catch was that the job was on the other side of the country. I would be completely uprooting my life, leaving family and friends behind. I accepted. "What choice did I have?"
Things started off fine, but I was lonely. Really lonely. Going from being surrounded by friends, family, and peers, to utterly alone and working 40 hours a week was miserable. "Luckily" for me, there was a nice area outside of my apartment complex with shops, restaurants, and a brewery. I figured, "Hey, that sounds like a good place to meet some people", so I sat down at the bar and began chatting up the bartenders and various people who were nearby. This place was cool! The bartenders were nice, there was a number of my neighbors who frequented there, and I felt like I had a little bit of community and what I would consider to be my friends. What used to be a weekend activity, turned into the occasional after-work happy hour. "That's okay," I told myself. I would only have a beer or two and head home for the rest of the night.
Over time, I was finding myself at the bar more and more, until it was a near daily occurrence. Again I told myself it was okay, mostly because I was still struggling with loneliness, and this was where my friends were. I had even met a nice girl there and we ended up dating for a few months. This "positive reinforcement" just had me back at the brewery most days, and it was not something I was willing to give up on since I had some form of social life outside of work. I noticed I was gaining some weight, ordering food in because I didn't want to drive with a buzz, and sometimes waking up a little hungover.
Fast forward about a year, and I find myself craving a drink after work every day. Nothing really sounded fun anymore besides unwinding at the bar since I had essentially spent the last year going through the same routine of work, drink, order food in, and repeat. I started to log off games with my friends from home early because I was feeling sick, or because I wanted to go back to the bar for another. I started having more than just a beer or two. I was drinking to get drunk to cure my boredom. Well, breweries these days are expensive and money is tight, so instead of that, I was going to just buy a bottle of liquor and make some drinks at home. Bad move.
My desire to drink had even taken me from my new social circle, and landed me sitting in my apartment with a bottle of booze and no desire to do anything but get a buzz rolling. I would still get online with my friends from back home, and would run to the kitchen between games to make another cocktail. Before I knew it, I would have finished 3, 4, 5+ drinks. This obviously resulted in me either being drunk or hungover most the time, and began to effect my personality, productivity, and overall happiness (not that I was very happy being here to begin with). I could finish a 750mL of whiskey or vodka within 2-3 days, and wasn't able to fight the urge to buy another as soon as I was out. This continued for probably another 1-1.5 years with no light at the end of the tunnel. I was depressed, stuck in a loop, and needed support.
About a year ago (June 2023), came an absolute saving grace. My brother had just finished his grad school, and he was able to get a job in my city. He moved in right next door to me, and he was happier than ever to be here with his baby brother. He has always been so active and enthusiastic about numerous hobbies, and he constantly urged me to join him. He didn't know that I had such a severe problem at this point, and I even felt resentment towards him that he was so happy, or that he was bothering me so much to do things when all I wanted to do was stay at home with the bottle.
At this point I knew that I was an alcoholic, but I was functional enough at work and around him that I was able to hide it fairly well. This triggered an immense shame in myself. "What happened to me? What happened to the happy, motivated, and responsible person that moved out here?" I knew I had to do something. I couldn't keep living this way. I couldn't stand myself.
First, I gave up the liquor at home. No bottles in the house. Back to the brewery it was, but this time I would order the lightest seltzer they had instead of the 8.5% beer that I had exclusively drank the years before. I began spending more time with my brother, trying to relearn how to be "normal". I also began this self-reflection and trying to remember what I was like years ago. What did I like to do for fun? How did I spend my free time? I just wished I could reset my mind to who I was before all of this. Unfortunately, as I'm sure many of you know, it isn't that easy to let go.
Starting in 2024, I still struggle with the cravings. I still have a drink or two almost daily, but I can keep it to that. I go to the grocery store directly from work so I always have something to eat before I have my allotted drinks, and it has helped me sober up before bed, preventing a hungover work-day. I made a music playlist called "Recovery 2024" which includes many of my favorite songs from my childhood, but also themed towards addiction, recovery, or just happy songs. I listen to this playlist all day at work, and I feel that it keeps some of my cravings at bay. It's a reminder of who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. I've been forcing myself to take care of my body and mind, and I feel better than I have in years. For the first time in a long time, I have a positive outlook on life, and I am happy with the person that I am today.
In conclusion, alcohol took hold without me even knowing it. I used it as a crutch, and then it became a part of me. Through trial and tribulation, I've learned the truth of this poison, and I am finally able to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I hope that by reading my story and experience, some of you may finally get to see that light too.
Thank you for reading,
IWNDWYT

I am into hardcore gay porn and I imagine I am the dominant man, I imagine I fuck another man’s masculinity out of him, so I become the real man and he become subservient to me. I believe my AAP is due to I cannot cope with the fact that men hold much more power than women, but I am sexually dominant, hence I want to be a man. From a very young age I know women have inferior social status, and I was very upset, because I am so feminine that I identify with being woman strongly. The boys at my school love to upskirt girls. After puberty begin, some of them steal period pads from girls’ school bags, some of them mock the bra line revealed by thin fabric. I believe I still feel ashamed of female sexuality.
I used to be a very feminine girl, but at some point I started to purposely do more “masculine” things. For example, I asked my parents for legos, toy vehicles, model planes, video games… I also choose the most gender neutral clothing in girls’ section. My parents were shocked, because I loved barbie and princess skirts, but I suddenly had a 180 degree turn. I remember clearly I disliked these things at first, but eventually I fall in love with them. At first I pretended to be masculine, eventually it became true. My parents were still baffled, they always say that girls either go from tomboy to girly girl due to social pressure, or they are always girly girl, but I go from girly girl to tomboy.
When I was in high school, I had a very masculine teacher, he is very tall and muscular, he has great beard and dress very masculine. And he is dominant among other teachers as well. Instead of feeling attracted to him like a normal girl, I was extremely jealous of him, he was everything I wanted to be. I always asked him hard questions during class, hoping one day he cannot answer and feel embarrassed. To my dismay, he didn’t. This makes me feel acting masculine is not enough, I also want to look masculine. After graduated from high school I had total freedom of clothing choices, I wear everything from men’s section, I cut my hair short. Many people think I am a butch lesbian lol. When I tell them that I am straight, they are shocked, they are like: Wow! A straight woman can be this masculine?!
After I watch hardcore gay porn, I feel even worse because it shows having dick = dominance. But I will never grow out a dick, even pegging affirms that the point that dick is dominant. I am jealous of both straight and gay men, I am also jealous of lesbians because they don’t have to deal with men sexually dominate them. In my mind I see receiving penis = submissive. I am jealous of everyone who isn’t a straight woman, but I cannot change the fact that I am a straight woman.