My name is Joe Clarkson.
When I was a small child, I was gifted. Great at a lot of things, and adequate at most. That all changed when I moved to Oakfield. Not too far away, but somehow not in the same state.
Oakfield was a small town, somewhere near the Canada-US border, yet my parents never told me which state it was in. They couldn’t. Dad got a really good job offer.
I started third grade there, I was eight, and would turn nine later in the year. On my first day of school, there was nothing really academic, thankfully, so I had no chance to show off my proficiency.
However, the walk there was interesting, with the edifice that was the mental hospital. Edifice for the town at least, it was only a couple stories tall. It stood in the distance, and you could see it from the school yard, and the street there. Always looming.
I was bored between the three recesses, each being a little breath of fresh air on the otherwise stagnant school day. That was, until the last one.
It was the afternoon, and I hadn’t really made any friends yet. I was just sitting by myself under a tree, when I saw a rough looking man, standing behind the chain-link fence I was seated next to.
The fear of strangers had been forced adamantly into my mind by then, and I whimpered, backing away.
“I won’t hurt you,” he said. That’s what someone who wanted to murder you would say.
But, considering the fence, I deemed I was relatively safe from this haggard man, and so, I approached. He was coughing.
“I don’t have much time. Take this paper,” he said as he passed a sticky note to me. “Follow what this says. Take it seriously, and you will be fine.”
I heard Ms. Smith calling out to me and approaching and turned away for a second before looking back. The man was gone, the coughing silenced.
Knowing if the teacher had seen the man that she would with no doubt take the note from me, I stuffed it in my pocket, then waited for her to approach.
“Joseph, what are you doing over here? Who were you talking to?” she snipped.
Quick thinking saved me here. “Imaginary friend.”
“Well, you should know better than to do stuff like that. We don’t do strange things like that here.” She paused. “You’ve learned your lesson, but I will talk to your parents about this.
She left, and soon recess was over. That day as I walked home from school, I looked for the man, but he was gone.
As said, my parents had a word with me about imaginary friends, and how I was too grown up and that they would have to send me to the ‘psychiatrist’ for it.
I of course paid them no heed.

Later that night, I opened the note. It had barely legible scrawl, unlike Mrs. Smith who had perfect handwriting, which I was sorely jealous of. This is what it contained:
If you are reading this, I may be able to save you. I need you to follow these guidelines:

1. Hide your identity
2. Socialize only when necessary
3. Be unexceptional
4. If someone is following you, find a crowded place to be

They will forget about you.
I have proof, so that you will believe me. Look at your classmates. Think about their defining features, whether physical, social, etc. They will change. For now, you have to trust me.
Once you have memorized this, destroy it.
The fourth rule seemed common enough, and the others seemed not too hard to follow. It was weird, but considering I had nothing to do at school, I decided to play along, holding in my laughter as I presumably tricked everyone. I would not laugh soon enough.

Xavier was a new kid. He moved in around the second week of school, when I was beginning to get bored of the ruse. He was bright and funny, yet Ms. Smith never laughed at his jokes. She got tired of him quickly, unlike me.
I was friends with him, we would play on the playground, mostly tag, but I made sure to never outrun him, nor anyone else. One day, we were playing tag, and I was chasing him. It had lasted longer than normal, and I was beginning to get very tired of the charade, so I decided to try and win this time.
We ran for so long, he eventually ran into the school, and I chased him, laughing, panting as he sprinted through the halls. The teachers were very mad at us and shouted at us often. But none chased.
However, after around fifteen minutes, we had slowed down significantly, and he stole away around a corner. When I turned the corner, Xavier was gone.
I didn’t see him for the rest of the day.
The next day, I went to school, ready to interrogate him about where he had gone. And, sure enough he was there. But when I asked him, he said he had gotten bored, and left it at that. It explained nothing, and I was grumpy about it for the rest of the day.

Xavier made jokes after that. But they were different, not funny. But Ms. Smith sure seemed to think so. She always chuckled at them, as did many of the other kids, and I chuckled along to follow suit. Xavier said to call him by his middle name, Steven. I didn’t talk to him much after that. The ‘psychiatrists’ had probably made him normal.
I dug through my backpack and eventually found the note from the man. It had been a few weeks now, and I hadn’t destroyed it.
I have proof, so that you will believe me. Look at your classmates. Think about their defining features, whether physical, social, etc. They will change.
Sure enough, it had happened.
I heard a knock at my door. My mom spoke in an indifferent voice.
“What are you doing in there, sweetie? Hopefully not talking to your imaginary friend again,” she said, giving a faint chuckle.
“One second mom!” I shouted, as I read through it a few last times, before shredding it, then scattering the pieces.
She opened the door. Her eyes grew frustrated for a single moment.
In an instant, I smiled slightly, rising, I coughed, partially because of my recent cold, partially to cover any anxiousness in my voice.
“Is it time for bed yet?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I went to sleep.

The man appeared in the newspapers. He had been taken to the mental hospital, locked away forever. I never disregarded what he had said, however.
I heard my mom talking to my teacher.
“Something’s wrong with him, he’s been acting weird. Watch over him, okay?” my mom said. “I’m worried.”
The only thing she should be worried about is my stupid cough that won’t go away.

I blended in throughout the years, getting a mix of B’s and C’s, as well as an occasional A. I didn’t raise my hand in class often, limiting myself to once a week. I chatted with a few other friends, though spending time with them left me unsettled.
On my sixteenth birthday, I ran away. I had just got a new car, drab and grey, courtesy of my father. I told them I was going to take a drive around the park. They believed me.
As I took it out, slow and steady, I noticed something. Ms. Smith. She was in her own car, tailing mine. I didn’t acknowledge her. The school hadn’t given her my address, yet she had been waiting for me.
I drove around the park a few times, then checked my mirror, making sure to not move my head. Ms. Smith was gone. I changed my route.
Moving through the town, I could tell something was off about the buildings. The same buildings everywhere, the same few colors of cars, no one outside, everyone inside at once. They were all gathered around a dinner table. Every single house.
I increased my speed, and my car started to screech, so I quickly slammed on the brakes.
I drove for a while, barely staying awake. After a few hours, I was back in town. Not in the distant byways.
Ms. Smith was behind me again.
In a moment of panic, I turned my head back, checking to make sure. Ms. Smith grinned. I waved at her, then continued back to my house. To this day, I’m not sure why I turned back. I wish I hadn’t.
As I approached my house, I remembered the fourth rule, and realized home would not be safe. I slammed the gas and veered in the direction of the high school. There was a football game going on, and there were lots of people there.
Ms. Smith had apparently been lost in the confusion and was not following me as I approached the field. I snuck in, then sat on one of the bleachers. Everything was normal, except for the highschoolers not being as rowdy as I had expected. I had seen things on television back at my old home, yet there were none of the old television programs here.
There were also no telephone wires. No outside communications. I realized this as I sat up there, next to one of my distant friends, Cody.
“Why are there no phones?” I whispered out loud.
Cody turned to me. “Of course there are.”
He turned back to the game.
“John’s doing so good today, would you look at that!” Cody said.
I heard my name being shouted. My parents had found where I had been, and were mad, they climbed up the bleachers, and I saw no use hiding from them.
“Cody, what have you been doing to our little boy?” Mom growled. She turned to me, “He’s a bad influence, sneaking off like this. Someone else will take care of that, come with me.” On the supervised drive back to my house, I noticed telephone poles lining the streets.

“What are you doing?” Mom asked.
“I’m calling Susie, from my old school. Just want to keep in touch,” I responded dully.
“She probably moved. That’s not her number anymore.”
“Their house was passed down through generations. Not likely,” I accused.
Three days later my mother came up to me. She turned on the news, then ushered me over.
“Breaking News: Local teen found dead, hit by car! Identity confirmed to be Susie Coleman, of local high school...”
I blocked out the rest of the speech. There was a picture of her corpse, and it was her, blood trailing from various wounds.
“That’s horrible!” I exclaimed. “Now I see why my call didn’t go through.”
The thing was, there was no news channel that broadcast things outside of the town. I barred my windows and door that night, then slept in my clothes hamper. I held my coughs in. When I woke up the next morning, things in my room were moved. My worst fears had been confirmed.

For the second time in a week, I tried to escape. Dawn would not strike for a few hours, and I knew no one could see me. The town was on lockdown, hunting for a ‘missing person’. I stole my mom’s car, not daring to use my own.
From the minute I pulled out of the driveway, I knew I was being followed. A car trailed behind me; the windshield tinted enough that I couldn't see the driver, but I knew it was Ms. Smith.
I floored the gas, uncaring, driving as fast as I could to the nearby forest. I jumped out of the car, placing my mom’s purse on the gas pedal to keep it running. It would hit ahead and throw them off my trail.
I entered the forest.
Stumbling through the trees at night was not a pleasant experience. I cut myself on branches and twisted my ankles trying to get out.
I made my way to a clearing. There was something moving there, a body. It was moaning and screeching, drenched in blood. Susie. She stopped when I drew near, then stared at me, eyes devoid of pain. Devoid of expression.
I ran out back into the forest and heard a limping figure behind me. Adrenaline pushing me as hard as it could, I slowly heard the limp grow stronger and stronger, becoming a full run.
Curving around a ditch, I tripped, falling into the hole, then heard the footsteps draw nearer. I saw the ditch led to a drainage pipe. I hid in there, making little noise, and waited until she left. Screams of anger echoed through the night.
After catching my breath, I peeked out, coughing. Nothing but the cool night air. Slowly, I made my way out. In the distance, I could see a light.

It took only a few more minutes to make it to the source. It was a gas station, and the man in there greeted me with something I had not seen in years. A warm welcome.
After getting some food and water – for free since I didn’t have my wallet on me – the man began to question me about my appearance.
“That’s a crazy story coming from Oakfield. Nothing ever happens there. I suppose they want to not be noticed, from your story. By the way, son, what is your name?”

1. Hide your identity

“You don’t need to know that” I said, still tense.
“Come on, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“No.”
“Son, I just want to check your records, make sure you’re not a nutcase,” he sighed. “Afterall, you don’t want to have to go to the psychiatrists, do you?”
I backed away, and the man began to grow agitated, shouting for me to come back and tell him my name. I ran out and started down the road. There were no cars.

A day or so later I reached a town. A normal one, with normal people. No one following me. No one trying to take me away. It was hard to get back on my feet of course, going to high school in the day, then working at night to make ends meet.
I never told anyone else about the town. No one. That is until now. You see, last night I found something. A trail of blood leading to a field.
“Joe, come back...” it said. “You can’t leave Oakfield. It can’t get out.”
They still follow me. They do not want people to know about this, because they do not want people to know about Oakfield, and whatever goes on behind the doors of the mental hospital. I intend to go where they cannot find me.
No one will take me seriously. After all, nothing ever happens in Oakfield. And to them, I am insane.

This is an incredibly long story so I'm going to shorten it best I can.
I met (fake name) Jordan when we were teenagers (17, 15) through a mutual friend during the summer. I actually had a thing (emphasis on thing, we weren't together by any means) with our mutual friend at the time, who turned out to be a horrible person who we have both since cut off.
I was immediately into Jordan and we hit it off immensely well. We had great, easy conversations and had great chemistry. I don't think I've ever gotten along with someone so naturally right off the bat without a lick of awkwardness between us. The second time I met her was just me picking her up to go hangout with our friends and the entire car ride was laughs.
We would all hangout with our mutual friend group and I found myself entranced with her rather than our friend. After our mutual friend and I had our falling out (we remained friends at that time), I wanted to ask Jordan out. However, she had started dating someone else and I also had a couple of other prospects I was interested in from before meeting Jordan. I started seeing one of them (Emily), but that flamed out quickly as she chose someone else over me.
I then started dating another girl at the end of that summer, who I ended up dating for almost 2 years. She and Jordan were friends at first when I introduced them, but it quickly became apparent to the girl I was dating that Jordan and I had great chemistry. It all came to a head when I ditched my gf and her family during trick or treating (we were taking her younger brothers) to take Jordan to her boyfriend's house because she wanted to break up with him. Obviously, this was a dick move by me being a dumb teenager and making wrong decisions. Long story short, Jordan took a long time in her boyfriend's house and they didn't even break up. This whole situation caused my gf to basically make me decide between her and Jordan. I chose my gf since I didn't think Jordan and I would ever have a shot like that, and I didn't even think Jordan felt that way towards me.
Side note: Before I started dating my high school girlfriend, Jordan and my mutual friend had texted me that Jordan did in fact like me but was too nervous to say anything. I didn't really believe my mutual friend and reached out to Jordan for clarification, since she was dating someone at the time. Jordan didn't exactly give me a straight answer, but I remember leaving that conversation feeling like she didn't actually want to date me.
So, a few years go by and we don't really talk. My high school girlfriend and I break up shortly after I started college (she was the same age as Jordan, so she was a junior in high school). I took that break up very badly, as I was cheated on multiple times by her and became wayyy to dependent emotionally on her so I was a bit of a wreck. I had to go to therapy to work through it all and I also dropped out of college after my first semester.
Jordan and I reconnected and became great friends again. She was still dating the same guy (bit of a narcissist, later found out he was pretty sociopathic and was cheating on her, but we'll get there). They ended up breaking up for the first time shortly after my break up. I was a complete mess and was trying to figure out my life at that point, so I didn't make any moves towards Jordan as I didn't think that was something I could handle at the time and didn't think she felt that way towards me.
We would call each other our best friends, and we truly were. It all got a bit weird as she started coming over more often and sleeping over. No sex, but she would sleep in my bed and we would often cuddle. For some reason, I never felt like it was romantic for her, but looking back at it and having conversations with her later in life, there were definitely times where she wanted more than what we were doing.
During this time, she started dating a friend of mine (not a super close friend, but a guy I had known for a while). He was a bit of a dumbass and a year younger than her, so three years younger than me. Once that became official, I knew for sure how I felt about her as I would get stupidly jealous and avoided the both of them like the plague. I confided in our mutual friend (from the beginning of the story) how I felt about it, and she basically just told me I missed my chance and that if I did care about Jordan, I would let her be happy. So I took that advice and kept my distance.
One day, I pulled into our friend's house (new friend, he was a mutual between all of us but was very tight with me and Jordan's new bf) and Jordan was walking out to leave. She was super excited to see me and everyone that was hanging out came outside and started chatting. She left, and then I had to hear, in great detail, about how much they were having sex and he started making fun of certain hygienic aspects of Jordan (fish-related humor) which I obviously found annoying.
Anyways, he ended up screwing up by being a pathological liar and they broke up. A bit after they broke up, I broke down and told Jordan how I felt about her (over text because I'm a pussy). We basically had long text convos about us, and I just kept getting the impression that she wasn't into me like that but didn't want to lose me as a friend. I basically told her that my feelings for her were very strong and I felt as though I couldn't be friends with her if we couldn't be together. She, rightfully, took that as me being manipulative, even though that wasn't my intention. I was just in pain. I didn't want a relationship based on pity.
Eventually, we reached a point where we were seriously considering being together. It didn't last long, however. On my 21st birthday, I invited a bunch of friends over, including her and her ex who was part of the friend group. I so badly wanted to make things official with us at that time, but the universe kept throwing road blocks in our way. I took her outside to talk privately, but one of our dumb ass friends was like OH YOU GUYS ARE GOING OUTSIDE I'LL JOIN YOU FOR A SMOKE so I couldn't talk to her about what I wanted to. I basically shut down halfway through the night, and as she left, her ex followed her out and told me a day later that they kissed. She fully denied it happened, but she admits now that she was extremely immature around that time, so I wouldn't doubt it happened. We weren't officially together, but I took it poorly.
A common theme of our friendship has been the universe throwing roadblocks in my face whenever I got close to discussing us and a relationship. There was one night she slept over that I literally couldn't sleep and told her right when she woke up how I wanted to be with her. Her response was a sleepy "i haven't even had my coffee can we talk about this later". Later didn't come.
The last night she slept over, she received a call around 3am and ran out of the room to take it. She came back about thirty minutes later and said it was her mom and she needed to go. I was worried about her so I couldn't fall back asleep. I went outside around 6am and her car was still outside, so I was very confused.
That's when I remembered that her ex (from the beginning of the post, the narcissist) lived next door from me. It was a common joke we had that he was right over there. I knew at that moment what was going on. Without me even confronting her about it, she ghosted me for about 2 or 3 weeks. Her friend told me to stop trying to contact her and that it was my fault because I said I wouldn't be her friend anymore if her answer was no, which is fair. Again, I didn't mean it to manipulate her into a relationship. My heart just couldn't handle her being with someone else anymore.
Eventually, she reached out and apologized, but it was what I feared. She got back together with him and told me how she never really got over him. They dated again for a few years and she and I did not speak.
Fast forward to 2018. I had another bad break up, and for some reason, I missed my friend. We reconnected and became friends again, vowing to put the past behind us and just be good friends like we knew we could. I felt as though enough time had passed and I was mature enough to do that.
Ha. I slowly slipped back into love with her. She and her bf eventually broke up later that year, and I helped her move out. While helping her move out, she noticed that another woman was spending the night in their bed, which obviously hurt her (they broke up because he was basically non-existent in the relationship and just went through the motions of everything; she loved him, but he made little to no effort on anything). We came to realize he was probably cheating on her for the majority of their relationship, which hurt her a lot.
I decided not to pursue her again since we agreed to just be friends. However, dejavu is a fucking bitch. I was back in college at this point and was living with 3 roommates in a downtown metropolis city. She would come over all the time as we regularly held parties and she got to know all of my newer friends. After a while, she approached me about potentially pursuing one of my roommates. Man, that shit stung. I pushed the bad feelings deeeeeeep down and told her it was OK. So, they started seeing each other for a very brief period. I came home one night after work after knowing they went out to the bars, fucking praying she didn't come home with him.
She did. I didn't sleep at all that night. I heard them wake up and her leave later that morning. I spoke with her later that week, and she told me they didn't sleep together, and that I was the reason, which I thought was weird as I didn't tell them not to do anything. They kept seeing each other, but I started to become more and more resentful. I started giving my roommate the silent treatment, and fairly quickly he ended things with her. He knew the history I had with her, and I probably should have told him to respect the bro code, but I didn't because I didn't want her to think I still had feelings.
Time passes, and my feelings resurface. I again confess that I'm in love with her, and it becomes emotional for us both. She doesn't want to lose me, but also didn't believe she deserved me (whatever that meant). I felt like that was just code for her not having the same feelings for me. Long story short, we had another falling out and we stopped talking. She decided to move states with some mutual friends of ours, and texted me a week before she left, basically saying how she wanted to see me and how sorry she was. I did not respond, as I had grown cold towards her and didn't want to deal with the emotional baggage.
We reconnected after a while as I reached out and apologized for my behavior. I ended up visiting her out in her new state and stayed at her apartment with her roommates. Nothing romantic happened between us, and we again decided to be friends, which we still are.
Lately, I've been noticing that I only want to be with her. I've dated and have not found anyone better. She's dated and is still very single, which is crazy because she's objectively very attractive. I think she grew tired of the relationships she was in and has a bit of trauma from the sociopath.
I recently told her how much I liked her when we first met, which surprised her. She finally confirmed that the third-party conversation when we were teenagers was true and that she really liked me at that point. Then basically told me that she missed her chance with me. It still doesn't quite feel like she feels the same way about me, though. She always jokes about how she wants to be the best man at my wedding and how she needs to approve who the bride is, etc.
I know she loves me a lot as a friend. That much has been very obvious over the years. She's said on multiple occasions how great I've been to her and how no guy has treated her better and been there for her more. Her mom loves me and always asks about me and my family.
The problem now is that she lives halfway across the country. She has a life/job out there. I'm starting grad school over here and all of my family and friends are here. I feel like I'm finally at a point where I want to start growing my forever with someone, and no one I meet even comes close to how I feel about her or have the natural chemistry she and I share.
I don't think a big gesture would be a smart move at this point - it just doesn't make sense for us to be together right now. It just sucks because I've been dreaming of being with her for over a decade, and I keep roller-coastering about how I feel about a potential future with her. I always want that future with her, but I sometimes have to be realistic with myself that it may never happen.
I guess I just want to see other people's opinion. I can go into more stories/details if this gets enough traction/interaction. Should I just keep pushing through the next few years and see where it takes me? I keep finding myself thinking about her and how badly I wish things were different.
Any advice or shared stories/thoughts would be great as I just need some support.

As background—will probably arrive in the afternoon (on a Wednesday at end of July) and go here while we wait for our hotel room to be ready.
1) is Hershey Chocolate Tour Free? 2) is the show Great Candy Expedition worth $20? (Assuming you don’t get the bundle) 3) is the show Hershey Trolley Works worth $23? 4) Hershey Unwrapped looks cool, unless someone says it’s not. I like the idea of tasting different types of chocolate. 5)I will probably create a Reese’s, my son will probably create a candy bar.

Gf’s 21st birthday coming up and looking for good bars that have live music on a Tuesday. I know that might be unrealistic lol but please let me know! (Any other bar recommendations are welcome as well thanks!!!)

So, I'm kind of in a predicament...
Long-ish read ahead, you can skip to the TL;DR if you feel like it, but I think the paragraphs below have some important information.
I've started watching Star Trek with Star Trek: Discovery about one year ago and really loved the visual style of the series. I didn't really plan to get into the whole Star Trek franchise, but after finishing the series, I wanted more.
After I had finished Discovery, I tried to find a similar series, or at least one that also had spaceships and nice visual effects, as I've said, I'm just a sucker for that kind of content. So, I've discovered Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and also loved the series. For me, it seems like the series has a similar feel to Discovery and also has quite nice VFX and CGI. I basically binged the series and from that point forward, I've been hooked.
I continued with Star Trek: Picard, and if I may say so, I really wasn't for me. I thought it was just so slow paced and generally just didn't feel like something I wanted to watch, way too much drama. So, I basically tortured myself through the first season. The second season was way more manageable, and the third one was rather good, compared to the other ones.
As I've now finished Picard, I still need more, but I don't know how to continue. I know my watch order is really strange, but as I've said, I just kinda fell into this franchise by accident.
TL;DR (skip to the next paragraph if you read the above):
I've started watching Star Trek with Discovery, continued with Strange New Worlds and now have finished Picard. Please read the last two paragraphs, as they are quite important to my question.
Another thing to note is, like I said, I love good VFX and CGI, and it's kinda important for me. I love me some eye-candy. And I don't think I can get myself to watch some of the older series with the, in my opinion, horrific black bars on the sides, YET. I don't think I'm far enough into the franchise to allow myself to fully enjoy them. But I really believe I'm gonna come around sooner or later and watch the older ones too.
My question now is: How do I continue? What should I watch next, or in which order should I watch? I'm also okay with rewatching things I've already watched, if that's important.
Edit: Totally forgot to mention, I already watched The Orville and totally loved it. And btw thanks for the really fast replies and your help, much appreciated!

A little preface I'm 30 m/f transwoman getting a divorce and I live with my ex, her son who's 7, our daughter who's 5, and her 17 yo brother and another brother of hers and his wife (their older). It's a female coworker. I've only hung out at work except once when me and the coworker went and saw a movie and to a bar for my birthday. She's also met my daughter once when my in-laws brought her in to work to see me.
I don't know if I made the right decision so I'm letting y'all know the situation and see what y'all think. I want to hang with a coworker and my daughter at home, but my ex doesn't want anyone around the kids. (Her son isn't here he is with his dad.) So the household wanted me to compromise and just let my daughter go with her mother then I could have my friend over. I didn't want to do that as my daughter was lying down for a nap, so I canceled with my coworker.
Am I looking at it wrong? Idk anymore.....
Any thoughts help! Plz...
Edit: I wanted to add that the divorce is filed in court. I'm chill with the roommates. There have been other issues in the household that have my roommates ready to give my ex a 30-day notice. My ex has bipolar, and seizures. She has taken the kids to jungle Jim's. She ended up picking up a guy towards the end of the trip and was holding hands walking beside the river, and kissing him. Also spent the night with the kids at someones house once aswell

So basically what the title says. I'm noticing these days that there are a lot of community activities, events, etc. that always seem to have drinking or alcohol involved. It's really hard to find anything that doesn't.
I remember a time when movie theater concession stands had soda, popcorn, and candies. Now you can't step into a theater that doesn't also have a full bar, or cocktail options. My boyfriend and I ran a 10k for our anniversary last year, and there were beers and vodka seltzers at the finish line. I did some volunteer work at a rehab center and someone in a meeting circle said Chuck E. Cheese serves wine for the adults now. Which...I'm sorry I find that wildly inappropriate. I do blame Mommy Wine culture for that one...
I've seen posts on other subreddits with people absolutely losing their minds over dry weddings. Even when the couple chooses to have a dry wedding because of family history of addiction. People argue there's no point in going without being able to drink at the reception. I think if I had a dry wedding and one of my friends or family members said they wouldn't come JUST because there isn't alcohol...well I'd be hurt.
I don't drink much myself, and my boyfriend has decided he's not into drinking anymore either. Problem now is how hard it's been to find social scenes and activities that don't have alcohol. Some spaces offer non-alcoholic options, and we have the choice not to drink, but sometimes we just don't want to be around a whole group of people who are drunk.
He is getting into sporty things (just got a pickleball set) but what other suggestions does anyone have? Anybody else feeling this way?

Bonjour and Hello all!
My friend and I are popping up from Boston to celebrate my birthday for this weekend. We’re just two single dudes looking to have a good time, party a little bit, and vibe out with the locals. I’ve been to MTL many times, but not for a few years now. I know it’ll be Grand Prix weekend, and I know you guys probably hear this question extremely often, but where would you ship two of your male friends for some lively spots to have a good time? Definitely gonna show him foufounes, but outside of that, we do like house music, love a bar with a good social scene, nothing is really off the table.
Any and all suggestions are welcome and appreciated.
Thank you!

BWT! I love this sub so much and am requesting some help! My birthday is July 5th and it always sucks so I haven't done anything big for it in years and really want to do something fun with a group that isn't crazy expensive for anyone (i.e. renting a bar or something is out of the question).
I'm thinking a day trip to a beach (I've lived here for 20 years and have only really been to the Rockaways or LI, don't judge me! Lol) or a cool non touristy boat cruise and dinner for like 10-15 ish people (give or take). I'd probably plan it for the 6th but everything will still be packed, I'm sure.
Does anyone have any good recs for beaches with good restaurants nearby or a fun boat cruise you've done or just anything cool or fun outdoors ish (doesn't have to be though!) activity that you can think of? That's all I've come up with so far and while that would be fun and great, I think it's worth asking for ideas.
Taking all and any ideas, recommendations for activities and food for a crowd of people in their 30's/40's ish that hopefully doesn't require a ton of effort or big bucks (lol).
THANK YOU!!! ❤️ ❤️

Title says it all! Anyone have recommendations for bars we can reserve outdoor space for ~40 people for a birthday party? Even an indoor / outdoor hybrid would work. It would be during the day on a Saturday so want to take advantage of the summer weather :)

First off, it was a wonderful experience! I enjoyed the vibes, the music, the people just all of it MWAH! I felt like the music was well paced for the most part and I enjoyed the openers! Here’s my in depth review of the vip lounge for anyone who’s curious! (Yes I did spend $600 😭 but for nature of this tour, I’d say it’s worth it to hear these songs live and get some cute collectibles)

• To start, I got there at 3pm and was let in at 4. They scanned us in, checked our bags/tickets then we were given our merch packs which included:

1 tote bag 1 metal mug 1 collectible figure 1 signed poster 1 vip laminate 1 perfume sample sheet
Things to note were that the poster is smaller than last years’ tour but the quality was better. The tote bag is bigger and better quality. I wasn’t expecting the perfume samples so that was a pleasant surprise, although it’s more like the samples you’d get in a magazine.

• Next we were lead to the lounge area! It was very calm and serene. There were couches at my venue as well as the floor seating area. They did fill up fast but there was also more things to do besides the sitting area so you would find a seat eventually.

The museum was cool, lots of props from all the music videos! I took lots of pictures. As for the snacks, there were:
Moss cookies - chocolate cookie with coconut on top No rating since I didn’t try it, but I heard it was okay.
Sugar cookies - basic sugar cookie with crunchy icing 4/5 typical cookie but I like them so it was my favorite
Strawberry parfaits - thick vanilla yogurt with strawberries and a graham cracker crust topped with a pretzel 3/5 it was pretty good, would have been better if more cold
Gummy candies
Rose Lemonade 2/5 - it didn’t have much sugar in it, so it was very tart and watery
Horchata 1/5 - unfortunately all the drinks were watered down since the ice melted and the horchata just tasted extremely watered down. It also did taste like it had almond milk instead? It was bland.
Overall the food was okay, I did wish they would have had ingredients listed more openly since people might have had allergies. It was fun to sit down and trade with people but the snacks were meh.
There was a mini doll house craft as well as the sticker sheets. It seemed like there was enough for everyone.

• After this around 5pm, we were lead to merch. The tables had most of the merch but there was also a truck outside that had the dress and the bunny hats that people were looking for. The truck was only accessible outside and was on the other side of the building from where the VIP line was. So a lot of people didn’t get to go to the truck before being let in, and once you left you couldn’t go back in so everyone had to wait until after the show. Given that we had early access to the merch, it sucked for some that they had to wait until after when everyone had access. This could have just been a Philly thing. If you didn’t get back to the lounge by 5:30 then you couldn’t go back in. So we all just stood around.
  
• A little after 6 we were let into the stadium to our seats. I don’t remember exactly when the openers started but I LOVED both of them.
  

Melanie came on about 8:30 ish and ended closer to 11pm! The show was energetic and entertaining! Lots of moving props and lots of fire and fireworks, especially for portals. There were bubbles and balloons too at some points! It was an electric experience!
All in all, if you want more of a fancier experience and want to be let in early, the vip was worth it!

Ben(22M) is in my friend group and we used to be friends with benefits before we mutually ended it and I met my current boyfriend Greg(23M).
Greg and I are exclusively in a long distance relationship; he used to live in the same country as me and was moving back. Before we were dating I told him about Ben out of respect because I don’t want to hide things from him, he’s been cheated on so he has trust issues but he understood and said, “Just tell me if you’re ever going to chill at his house.” And so I do.
Ben and I are still in the same friend group, it’s not weird and we had talked about how we’re still friends, that was in the past (it’s been a year and a half at this point), it was fun blah blah and more boundaries were set because Ben got back with his girlfriend and I was happy for him because he’s my friend. The friend group all chill at his house because the majority is there (his brothers, his best friend, his brothers girlfriend, her friend etc) and his house has a separate wing so we don’t disturb his family.
Greg then set boundaries: 1. “I don’t like you going to celebrate his birthday.” I AGREE Context: Ben invited people to celebrate his birthday. I tell Greg on the morning of the day of party (just after I got the invite) and Greg has an issue because “Why would you go to your ex’s birthday?” I tell him again Ben is not my ex-anything and it’s not an intimate thing it’s basically a huge house party and people are just coming to drink, he’s okay with it so I go. The next day he said he wasn’t okay with it and told his sister; she’s agrees with him.

1. “Don’t go to Bens house anymore, ask everyone to change the location or you host it.” I RELUCTANTLY AGREE Context: Ben had a game night, I tell Greg and he says, “Text or call me and just keep in contact when you’re there.” He knows I’m barely on my phone when I’m with friends but of course I agree. I text him, he doesn’t read them. I call him, he doesn’t pick up. The next day Greg tells me I didn’t bother to text or call, I forgot about him and that I feel he’s not important to me. I told him I did, he tells me his battery died.
   
2. “Stop replying.” I AGREE Context: Greg has my instagram login and sees Ben sends me reels, he find memes we used to send to each other when we were friends with benefits and I tell him that was before I knew you. He asks me to stop replying to the reels Ben sends and to stop sending him reels.
   
3. “I don’t want you to be friends with Ben.” I TELL HIM I ALREADY RESPECTED ALL THE BOUNDARIES YOU GAVE ME BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN WERE IN THE SAME FRIEND GROUP Context: This is after Greg has moved back and I invited him to our New Year’s Eve plan with my friend group where Ben’s girlfriend was also invited.
   

Context for ultimatum: I went to drop another friend from the friend group at Ben’s house after a child’s birthday party. When I get there a few of my friends parents are there too so I go into the house to say hi and not be rude. Ben’s mum and another friend’s mum make conversation with me and tell me to stay for a bit. I stay and play with the kitten while the friend group watches the champions league final. I get home at 11:15pm and call Greg, he’s at a bar watching the match with work friends (I knew about this). I tell Greg I dropped a friend at Ben’s and was there for a bit to show face. I get a text at 10am the next day; “You were at Ben’s house?” Greg deletes that message and doesn’t talk to me until Monday morning. I’m busy at work I can’t answer. He says he got home late and slept the whole of Sunday, I say; “You had time to send and delete a message about a boy but you couldn’t say you would be sleeping?” It escalates and I tell him he always brings up Ben even though I’ve listening to him and respected all his boundaries, it’s like we’re taking a step back instead of forward.
The ultimatum “Me or Ben.” I tell him that’s not fair because I can’t control the fact that I could end up at Ben’s like to drop off a friend and that this ultimatum is disregarding all the effort I made to respect your boundaries and that hurts. All my effort, love and respect was for you to deem it useless and give me an ultimatum. I’m barely considered a friend to Ben anymore, I can’t go to his house if we have games nights so I might as well not have a social life or friends. Greg gets mad I basically told him I don’t have a social life and won’t if I completely cut off Ben because we’re in the same friend group and if I complain about not having friends it’s because that’s the consequence of giving me this ultimatum and not because I want to make him feel bad.
After being mad and saying I don’t text or call him and that I don’t love him, Greg says he’s a useless boyfriend because he made me feel this way and that I should leave him and my reaction was a build up to me dumping him. I told him to stop guilt tripping me and see that the ultimatum is hurting me and made me feel threatened because it’s this now but what will it be later? Because clearly respecting his boundaries was not enough from me. He then says he failed as a boyfriend again because me made me feel like I’m not enough. I’ve been telling him it’s the ultimatum that’s doing this and it’s not necessary because I have respected all his boundaries and compromised so much for him. But he guilt trips or tells me I’m defending Ben, it’s been me saying the same thing to him for 2 days.
I love Greg so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, he knows that. But am I dealing with the situation correctly? I’m defending myself and I want him to understand that an ultimatum isn’t what we need but am I gaslighting him? My mind is so clouded that I feel like I’m in the wrong now.

Hello, Charlotte I really love your videos, they always made me laugh even if I was at my lowest. And I am happy to share my story with you.
I am a (23f) and my boyfriend is a (23m). We were high school sweethearts and our relationship lasted at least six years. This story may be long but I think it's best to know the whole story. Also, sorry about my bad grammar and punctuation.
During my time in high school I was always a “good person” even if you don’t want to believe me. I’ve always been the “quiet type" according to my classmates. So, I never thought I would have a relationship during my high school years because I was mostly afraid of men and my parents are strict. The reason why I was afraid of men is a whole different story.
During my first day of high school, I felt more confident about myself and I realized that I wanted to dress up more. So I did and that's when my future boyfriend started noticing me however there was an issue he had a girlfriend. Also, his girlfriend was my best friend. So, I never acknowledged his existence and just focused on my school work and continued with my day. A few months later my best friend cheated on him and they broke it off. That's when I popped in and he asked me out and I said “no” so he waited a couple more days to ask me again. That’s when I agreed to be his girlfriend and I didn’t know what to do because this was my first relationship. To be honest I think I was just a rebound, nothing special.
During this relationship I was clueless what a girlfriend does during a relationship. So, I asked my closest friends for any relationship tips and most of their boyfriends were telling me what to do. The only thing that I wasn’t ready for was intimate stuff because I was still scared of men which made me scared of him. Even if I didn’t feel ready to do most things I forced myself to do anything he wanted because I was scared of him. When I finally had the courage to tell him he was very understanding and we took things slow until I felt more comfortable and ready.
We did everything together. He was my first for everything and I was happy being with him. I was always supportive of him and he was also supportive of me. I genuinely fell in love with him. One day he said “I want us to be serious” when I heard this from him I said “are you sure?” and he said “yes”. Since he wanted to be “serious" I had to tell my parents because I wanted them to know. During this time of happiness there is always sadness that takes place.
One late evening I got a call. He told me that he cheated on me with someone else named Lexis (fake name) and he told me that he might have gotten her pregnant. He told me this wasn’t the first time he cheated. The beginning of our relationship he had intercorse with his ex’ because I told him that I wasn’t ready to be intimate with him. When I heard this from him I was so heartbroken that I started crying and I didn’t know what to do. So, we decided to break up, especially since we graduated from high school.
During this time I decided to go to college and get my associates degree. The first semester was nerve racking however I managed to get straight A’s. During my second semester, my ex boyfriend and I started talking again. He came over to my apartment to give me a gift as an apology for what happened in the past. The gifts contained a bouquet of white roses, chocolate, a necklace and a ring with a blue sapphire in the middle and little diamonds around the sapphire. The ring was a promise ring and I was shocked because he told me it cost him an arm and a leg. I was scared because I know how much his family struggled with money and I didn’t want him to spend his savings on me. I tried to reason with him to return it and get his money back but he really wanted to make this work. So, I agreed to continue our relationship and try to make this work.
We started living together in the apartment and our relationship was doing great. Until one evening he was distant and wouldn’t let me near his phone especially if I wanted to look up something or call someone. So, one evening I had to look through his phone and I knew I was invading his privacy. I just needed to know what was going on. When I looked through his phone I noticed that he's been texting five other women and he was using his rent money for onlyfans. When I was looking over his text message I saw someone familiar and it was Lexis. I wanted to wake him up and confront him, however I knew this wouldn’t do anything. So, I took off his promise ring and put it on my finger because I know I can keep a promise. Of course this became a problem lol.
Of course I forgave him and did whatever he asked of me. I just focused on my studies and tried to make time for our relationship. Everything was great until he told me he had to go to Texas with his grandparents and family. It was surprising because he told me last minute and he rarely goes out of state. But I didn’t want to make a fuss about anything because I adore his grandparents and his whole family. He left for two weeks and I usually update him on what's been going on for the past two weeks.
When he came back I was so happy to see him that we started to cuddle with each other. As days passed I noticed he was distressed about something and I wanted to talk to him but he kept pushing me away. The next day he went to work. It was just a regular day until he came walking through the door a few hours later. He told me he was in pain for a couple of days and some reason he thought the pain would just go away. I told him let's go to the hospital but he kept refusing to go to the hospital. I didn't want him in pain so I convinced him to go to the hospital and I would be there for him.
We went to the hospital and I waited to make sure he was seen and cared for. When he was being cared for I saw one of his aunties working as a security guard and I told her that he was refusing to go to hospital even though he was in pain. She told me to call her if this happens again and she’ll drag him to the hospital herself lol. She really appreciates me for taking care of her nephew. He saw us talking and we spent our time talking to his auntie until his medication was ready at the pharmacy.
As we started to leave, I asked him some questions about the diagnosis or what medication did you receive. He didn’t say much about what happened in the hospital; the only thing he told me was the name of the medication. The medication sounded so familiar especially since I was taking a class about pathophysiology. The medication he mentioned was doxycycline. I remember the medication is an antibiotic which is used to treat infections. This got me thinking about what he was hiding from me. I remember I wrote down his symptoms on my phone. I wanted to ask him more questions and how this happened but I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer.
A day after the hospital incident we plan to go to his family's home and stay for the weekend. I wanted to talk to him about the hospital because I was getting worried about my health. Everytime I tried to talk about it he wouldn’t tell me anything then I started noticing something was wrong with me. So, the next morning when he was fast asleep I had to look through his phone again. When I was looking through his phone he mentioned having sex with Lexis during his family trip to Texas. I knew he was hiding something but I didn't want to believe it. So, I slapped his ass awake and I started yelling "did you have sex with Lexis and what was the diagnosis?” He looked at me in shock and said “yes, I slept with her and the doctor told me I had STI”. I started to cry and I ran out of the room and told his mother and his grandparents. His grandparents were trying to comfort me and his grandpa scolded him saying “he never wants to see me cry again because it was too heartbreaking”. That morning I got ready to go to the hospital to get treated. I remember crying in the hospital and trying to keep a straight face through the whole procedure. I requested for him to be in the room to show him the whole process of what a woman has to go through just to get treated. Since the pharmacy was closed I had to wait for the next day to receive my medication. We started heading back to his home and he told me he will never do it again because he never wanted to see me in a hospital gown. I didn’t have time to cope. I just wanted to finish my semester and try to get closer to finishing my associate without falling apart.
During this whole process I told him to call Lexis about what happened and this is a serious situation that she needs to know. He asked “Why should I?” That is when I said “she had the right to know and I don’t want her to suffer horrible symptoms”. Later that day he told her about the STI situation and told her to get checked. She was upset thinking it was her ex that gave it to her. Few days later I noticed they started texting each other about how life would be with each other. That’s when I got the courage to text her myself on snapchat and asked “do you know a guy named____”. That’s when she said “yes, who are you?” I said “oh, I’m his girlfriend of six years and I would really appreciate you stop texting him”. That's when she sent a voice message saying she didn’t know he had a gf. She remembers my username and whenever she asks “who is that?” he responds saying “oh, that's just my roommate, nothing important”. That made me cry so much and she told me to leave him. He doesn't deserve you. That’s when she called him and I could hear her yelling and she blocked him after that.
After all that, that's when the semester ended I started working at a grocery store part-time. This is when I met a guy named Nathan (fake name) a 43 yr old male who is a first responder who also works part-time at the grocery store. Nathan was a very interesting guy easy to talk to. We usually talked about the classes I was planning to take next semester and we talked about his life when he used to be in his early 20’s. Ever since I started talking to Nathan my boyfriend started getting jealous and started questioning me. I told him nothing is happening between me and the guy that is twice my age.
Since then, summer has come around the corner. I knew my twentieth-second birthday was coming up. My family suggested I should have my birthday at one of the theme parks that's located closer to my older brother. I agreed and my parents also suggested bringing my boyfriend along. I know I was stupid enough to still be with him. He wanted to make this work. Also, I didn't want to abandon him because he had no one at this time and I didn’t want to be heartless. I always try to include him into my family trips. He always denied my invitation especially when it comes to special events such as my birthday. On my upcoming twentieth-second birthday I asked if he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me at the theme park. I asked him six months in advance he couldn’t make a decision and he had only a month to decide. So, I made the decision to take him with me. The trip was great, however, he rarely talked to me during the trip. I didn’t know if he was mad or if I did anything wrong. At least my family and I enjoyed the trip. That's all that matters.
When I came back from my trip I finally relaxed and everything was fine. That’s when I started to burst into tears everything I bottled up was finally taking control. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend about our relationship but he said “I have to go home, I have other things to do, we'll talk later”. So, I tried calling him over the phone because I wanted answers from him. He told me “you need to get over it…It was in the past, you should just take this time to heal because you’re being too emotional”. That's all he said to me and just hung up. I tried calling back but he never answered everyday for the past three weeks.
So, I just went back to my work and just acted like nothing happened. I was so heartbroken that I didn’t know what to do. I kept thinking about what he has done to me especially when he didn’t tell me about the STI. I really thought about how he watched my health decline and never had the heart to tell me the truth. All because he was afraid of the consequences he had to face. I've been with one person in my life and I still got an STI from doing nothing and all I could think about was how my body was ruined because I wasn't careful.
During this heartbreak realization I remember that I was going to school to better myself in the future, not for him. That’s when I started thinking about my career choice and I really wanted to work in the medical field. To be able to do this I need to update some documents which means I need to renew my BLS certification for one of my upcoming classes. That's when Nathan popped into my mind so I contacted him asking if there was any BLS training going on that he knows of. I was happy that Nathan found an opening for me and I signed up for the training for next week. Since I was on the phone with him we started chatting and I started telling him about my relationship with my boyfriend. Nathan was pretty shocked that my boyfriend would ruin a good relationship with someone that actually cared for him. We chatted until I fell asleep on the phone with him and that was the first night I haven’t cried myself to sleep.
After I finished my BLS training, the instructor told me my certification will be sent through my email. Then I saw Nathan helping the instructor packing the equipment up. I asked if I could help, they both agreed and Nathan asked why I wanted to help. I just said “I’m just bored and I just wanted to do something even if it's just putting stuff away”. When we were putting the equipment away, the instructor informed Nathan that he had to go home and told Nathan to finish what we started. As we were leaving he asked if I had a ride home. I said “No, but I would be happy if you could take me home”. FYI I just walked to the BLS training and it wasn’t that far lol.
During this conversation I asked where he was going after he dropped me off. He told me that he had to drop off most of the equipment at his work. Me being curious I asked if he could take me and maybe show me around, thinking he would deny me. He said “sure, I don't mind” and he told me that some of his co-workers might be there. I told him “I don’t mind seeing his co-workers”. His co-workers were very friendly towards me and talkative. Nathan started showing me around the building; it was just a simple tour. I started to notice most of his co-workers left the building to go home or to take care of other stuff. So this means I was alone with him in his office and my mind started to wonder how it would be if I slept with Nathan. I knew if I was going to sleep with Nathan I’m going to feel like a hypocrite. Also he's twice my age, so I had to get my mind out of the gutter. I started telling him different shows to watch to distract me from doing something stupid.
That’s when Nathan started talking about my relationship with my boyfriend and I told him “I don't think I can fix my relationship with him anymore”. We started talking about different things and out of nowhere he started making moves on me. When I noticed this I looked at him and he said “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that”. I really thought about it and I just said “fuck it!!”. As we were making out, his co-workers came back and we had to stop. Later that night he drove me back home and we started talking about what happened. I started tearing up because I had never done anything like this and I was nervous. He reassured me that “it was okay”, he told me that he was also nervous too, especially how this can affect our friendship. That's when I told him I wanted to go through with it so he took me back to his place.
The next morning I came back to my apartment and got ready for the day. And out of nowhere my boyfriend came back home and started showering me with affection. I was scared of him finding out what I did especially if he found the love bites Nathan gave me. I knew he was going to find out soon or later but I wanted to wait because he told me he had a bad day and seeing me his day got better. He also told me that I look sexy for some reason and he wanted to do the devil's tango. So, I just agreed as we were doing the devil's tango he found the love bites and I just said “oh, something hit me lol”. I want to note that I sucked at lying.
Two weeks have passed and I still haven’t told him everything. One night he told me he was going out with his friends to a bar downtown. This was the first time I saw him go to a bar. I remember waiting for him all night until he came back in the afternoon and smelled like cigarettes and a little buzzed. Two days later he said he was heading out again to the bars downtown. I asked if he was coming straight home or are you staying at your friend's house again he never gave me a clear answer. Later that night I got a video call from Nathan. We started talking and I accidently fell asleep on the call with Nathan. That's when my boyfriend came in and noticed the video called this was his opportunity to look through my phone.
I woke up in the middle of the night watching him look through my phone. I didn’t know what to do. He started to yell at me and I was scared to even do anything I just sat there until he was done. I was nervous that he would do something that he would regret while under the influence. I just watched him until he fell asleep in the living room. To be honest I have no clue what is going to happen when he wakes up. The next day it was a normal day. He really didn’t want to talk to me and I knew it would be my turn to face the consequences I made.
As a few weeks passed I started to notice little things missing around the apartment and it was my boyfriend's items. That evening he wouldn’t talk to me and he just grabbed his stuff and left. When he was leaving I tried my best to talk to him but he wasn’t having it. So, I started to cry and that’s when Nathan called me and I told him that he just left without saying anything. Since he was no longer living with me I had to take him off the lease. It really didn’t bother me taking him off because I was the only one paying and he never helped me.
After he left I picked up my big girl pants and started working towards my education. As a few months passed by, I got my drivers license, associate's degree, and got my nursing assistant certification. It may not seem a lot but it is a start to a new beginning and to continue my education in the medical field.
AITA for cheating on my boyfriend and My question is what would you do if you were in my situation?

looking for something to do either this sunday night or next wednesday night for my 24th birthday. I don’t want to go to dinner or just a bar and my apartment is too small to comfortably accommodate 6 people.
I’m really just looking to do something besides just eating and drinking. thanks for the recommendations!

Ok, hi this is my first ever post on here. So some stuff about me, Im a dumb teenager ok i can be reckless at times and have some mental stuff going on as of recently but pls note im a good kid..i follow the rules and rarely get in trouble.
For my birthday recently i got a quad in march. I work on it daily wash it pay for the gas ECT. I rarely ask anyone for help minus my bike friends for air in my tires from time too time thats it.
Now onto the events of yesterday. Yesterday i had a terrible day at work my morning started with me fighting with one of my friends and getting stressed with my mom before work. My dad dropped me off and picked me up. I got home overwhelmed and just not ok especially without medication. My mom is currently sick with a bad flu and told me too take my younger sister (age 7) out for a bike ride. I said fine after arguing for a bit and took my bike out but i was unaware my dad had tied my lock around my tire. So when i pushed my bike out, my back bar of my bike bent with my tire and my lock broke. So me and my sister went too the store and we bought a new lock and tried our best too fix my back bar which is very very heavy not even our friends could help. I was having bad anxiety so my friends said too go on a solo ride and let my sister play with their siblings. So i agreed. Worse. Mistake. Of. My. Life. I went over 100 mph maybe more due too how stressed i was…i let loose. I lost control after going over a speed bump at full speed and well, i landed terribly. I had so much adrenaline i didnt feel the pain till i got too my friends house. I got there took my sister home and got back home. My dad was outside when he saw me and gave me a dissatisfied look and slammed the door shut. My mom came out yelling at me asking why i did what i did and was just so disgusted and disappointed in me. I didnt know what to do as i was putting my bike away but soon the pain hit and i was trying too get my bike up but couldnt. I was in alot of pain. My dad put my bike away and bandaged me up as the wounds i had were bleeding so much even through my shirt. So my dad got me in the car as we got too the ER, i checked myself in and was taken back 10 minutes later. My dad was behind me and i turned around in tears and said “dont bother coming, your mad and your just going too yell at me.” And i walked away..when i was discharged my doctor said too my dad i would be seeing a psychiatrist soon too reevaluate me and that my wounds were minor. I basically ripped my skin open on the sides of my legs arms and a part of my side so i had stitches done. My dad was on facetime with my mom and in the car she was yelling at me till we made it home. When i got home i cried too my friends on the phone unable too move and just sorta passed out. This morning my mom wont talk too me and keeps giving me a grossed out look.
I feel like i may be the asshole for many reasons but at the same time. I feel like my parents need too understand im growing. I will make mistakes at times but i also know that arguing with my mother who’s sick was a bad side on my part. Im not sure if i really am the asshole for getting hurt and feeling like shit. Im unsure of what to do as of currently. I’ve been doing everything i can with a cane too keep my leg balanced and just helping as much as i can too make it better but everyone in my house says im still the asshole. So… AITA?

This is just a vent post. I'm not really mad or anything, but I just feel sad and want to let it out and I understand this is no one's fault but my own. I've been working overnight stocking at wal-mart for one week (this is my first job I've ever had and I am 35) and I feel not only overwhelmed, but also sad. I'm not nearly fast enough compared to everyone else no matter how hard I try and I just feel overwhelmed by the amount of freight we get (I've been working in grocery for one week.) The thing is my store has been more than gracious I think with showing me the ropes. I was assigned an excellent veteran co-worker and let me shadow her.
My last 2 shifts didn't have her and on the first day I didn't have her, I was assigned to an aisle I didn't know but people said was easy (coffee tea and bread.) but I ended up staying for 90 minutes affer my shift. They ended up sending help to help finish the aisle for me and I felt so bad. The people who helped were very understanding and so were the people in my ON team. Today I had to work 4 aisles I liked from what I did (candies snacks in one aisle, chips peanuts and treats in another). I think I let my own doubt and self confidence get the best of me because I was left alone the whole night outside of people helping me with my overstock and pallets, which I am still very clueless about. I ended up only taking one break to drink water and ended up working for 7 hours without lunch to try and finish my assigned aisles. When I couldn't even do that and I was still working with only a few more, something inside me broke and I had an anxiety attack. I ended up cleaning up my trash, put in my claims, and clocked out. I'm really disappointed in myself because even doing my best wasn't enough in the end sbd I just left with my job unfinished.
I am really serious about improving, but I just don't know how. I even called in absent today for my shift because I feel guilty for just clocking out. I'm probably gonna get fired for this and I deserve it. I chose to work overnight because I have severe social anxiety, but dealing with this guilt and shame is far worst. If you managed to read this far, thank you. Today is my birthday so I'll just spend it relaxing and deal with the aftermath on my next shift, if I still have a job

Recently sailed on the Valiant Lady which was my first time on Virgin for my partner and I's 30th birthdays. We sailed to Grand Turk and then Bimini over the course of 4 nights/5 days. Wanted to go through my experience in hopes that it helps others a bit (the good, bad, and in-between). This cruise was over Memorial Day weekend. These are my thoughts and opinions - you are entitled to your own and your experience may differ significantly.
The Terminal:
Our experience at the terminal was a breeze. Arrived around our boarding time (4 of us) and were on the boat in maybe 10-15 minutes.
As we stepped onto the ship, it was a bit busier than we had expected. We boarded near the champagne bar and ordered a few drinks to start - it seemed the bartenders were a bit overwhelmed (this will be a theme for this review) and we got our drinks probably 20 minutes later after taking a seat.
We made our way to the pool area on the top deck which was much smaller than we had anticipated. The pool is about half a foot deep on both ends with a section in the middle that goes to about 5.5 feet. The section in the middle can probably hold 10-20 people before it gets overly packed. Though the pool itself was very small, there was a good number of chairs and placed to lay out which was nice (as well as bars on both ends and drink runners). Overall we were slightly disappointed in this area and wished the pool itself was larger. Also no real "events" at the pool outside of the DJ from time to time (and scarlet night - more on that later).
We then moved onto checking out our room - we had an XL Sea Terrance at the very front of the ship. The size of the room, balcony, and bathroom (with separate rooms for shower and toilet) was great. The layout, however, of the room could have been better though. The bed more or less blocks off the sliding doobalcony, and unless you want to convert the bed to a couch during the day (we didn't want to do this), you have to shimmy past the TV or step over the bed to get outside. On top of that, the bed was incredibly uncomfortable (though size wise was perfect). We also were abruptly woken up any time the boat docked - our room would begin shaking loudly and violently between 6-7am when the boat was docking. Not fun (especially after a night of drinking). Our room attendant was a highlight - any time we needed something, he was there to help (more water, towels, etc.). The lowlight was room service - we tried ordering food and drink to the room 5 times. 2 times when we woke up, 2 times roughly 12-24 hours ahead of time (pre-ordered), and once at night time. All 5 times the food/drink showed up at least an hour late - one time I had to cancel it all together at it was causing us to be late to a reservation. We believe the cruise was sold out (Memorial Day) and it seemed as if the ship and staff were not used to it being this busy.
For dinner on night 1 we went to Test Kitchen - very interesting concept and good food all around. Service was very friendly. I ordered a drink pairing with each of our dishes that I wouldn't have done again - little too adventurous. Would recommend getting drinks you know you like unless you love trying new things and don't mind a mixture of different spirits. After dinner we went to see the Magician/Mentalist - Ben - who was great on stage. Funny, good tricks, and had a great stage presence. The PJ party later that night was fun, though there was not a whole lot of organization (just a lot of people hanging in one area in pajamas, lol).
Day 2 consisted of lounging at the pool again, brunch at The Wake (which was fantastic), and trivia later that night. With how busy the ship was and most everything (shows, restaurants) being completely booked, we started to feel that there was not much to do around the ship. There are really 3 main levels - 6, 7, and 15. Outside of those floors, very little to do from what we saw.
Day 3 we docked at Grand Turk (and were woken up at 630 from the noise). It looked gorgeous from our balcony - super blue water. Keep in mind, this was a last second adjustment on our cruise. We originally were supposed to go somewhere else. We got off the boat and wanted to walk the beach we were on. As we did this, we were followed/harassed by locals the entire way trying to get us to buy chairs/towels/photo shoots. Walked into a local bar off the beach to try and get a drink - stood at the bar for 10 minutes and ended up leaving as the bartender seemed too busy. Ended up going back on the boat to wait until our Dune Buggy adventure at 3pm. What threw me off a bit - while docked, nearly everything on the boat is shut down. Not sure why this is the case - seemed that only the bars and food by the pool were open.
The dune buggy adventure was a highlight - very fun and would highly recommend. An issue outside of our control did happen (a girl crashed her dune buggy into the cart in front of her) which almost caused us to miss the ship leaving, but we ended up getting on with a few minutes to spare (just slightly stressful).
Later that night was Scarlet Night - this is a ship wide party were guests are encouraged to wear red. On the same deck as the pool, there is a DJ and this was a blast. Everyone having a great time, dancing, jumping in the pool fully clothed. Have to give a shoutout to the Happenings Cast (the main lineup of Virgin Team Members) - they did a great job this whole cruise keeping the energy up.
Day 4 (day at sea) was, again, tame. You can point the finger at us for not booking up shows if you want. We spent most of the day in the casino (winning a slots tournament) and playing bingo (this was a fun time). Small gripe - the casino is tiny. On an adults only cruise line I had expected the opposite. Was sorely disappointed in that aspect though the dealers were all fantastic. It's never fun when players on the craps table are running into people on the roulette tables because they are so close (or having to wait for a seat to open at one of the 2 non high-limit black jack tables).
Day 5 we docked (and were awoken, again - can you tell I'm a little salty about this?) at Bimini. This is the beach and pool club that we were expecting the whole time. DJ. Great beach. Large pools. Drinks, food. I really wish we could have spent 2 days here instead of one at Grand Turk. Drinks were pricier though as they need to charge tax.
I disliked the bar tab idea and felt that drinks were priced no differently that they would be at a middle end restaurant (pricier than a sports bar, cheaper than a steak house). I ended up blowing through my bar tab in the first 48 hours. I get what they're going for here, but the fact that they don't refund unused bar tabs sucks. Hard to find the right balance there - purchasing enough of a bar tab without going overboard. I wish there was an option for a drink package so I didn't have to worry about it. No happy hour or drink specials either. For reference, a Jameson was $11 and a Michelob Ultra was $9. I felt as if they downplayed how quickly these would add up (I'm a moderate to heavy drinker while on vacation).
Couple closing thoughts and comments:
Scarlet Night and Bimini were a blast.
Grand Turk sucked except for the Dune Buggies.
Drinks were pricier than expected.
Ship was not prepared for a sell out.
Ship, pool, and casino too small (I almost felt sea sick at times which has never happened before)
The employees were great even when overwhelmed.
The food was very good and much better than normal cruise line food.
All in all - I think the bad (overly busy, lack of activities, size of ship and spaces, noise) outweighed the good to me (service and food) - especially at the price point (all in all we paid nearly 5k including bar tabs). I'm sure that Virgin will continue to grow and I hope to give them another try down the line.
tl;dr - Service and food good, ship and spaces small. Not prepared for high volume. Pricy.