Swift sport angel eyes

She was only Six weeks old.
A beautiful domestic shorthair, with black fur and green eyes. Her name was Stormy Gremlin. Stormy because we found her on our porch during a storm, and Gremlin because she had a knack for escaping anywhere I tried to put her, and get into ANY place she wanted regardless of my efforts.
I only had her for about five days, but I instantly fell in love. I've had pets before, and pets that have passed, but She was the first pet that I picked up, that I took respondsiblity for. I cared for her, and loved her.
She would sleep in my bed with me at night, and would wake up about 2 or 3 am nightly for food, poop, and play. No matter how tired I was I obliged. I would get up, sit with her, play with her until she was tuckered out for another snooze.
Her favorite toy was a stick with a string and a fish on it, made with rip proof cloth so that she could claw, bite, and tackle it to her little hearts content. She would sleep on my belly with me cradeling her when I was on my PC, and purr a very lovely purr.
Last night seemed normal. I had taken her to her first vet visit, she was given a clean bill of health with a recommendation to do a Mite Test on her ears, and a deworming just incase treatment. I was planning to start all this at the end of the week.
Then when I got off work after dinner, I played with her held her, introduced her to a new bed to sleep on with a Sherpa pillow in a plastic crate with a VERY low lip so she could easily get in and out of it. I think she liked it, because she instantly was making biscuts in it, and took two seperate naps in it.
Around 11pm I noticed a red bulb on her bum. I was concerned googled it, and thought okay feline hemorid no big deal we'll call a vet tomorrow. Then it got bigger more pronounced. I woke my mom up concerned and we called the Emergency Animal Hospital nearby, and they quoted an insane price as I paniced. I tried signing up for three different vet credit cards for help and all of them rejected me. At this point I realized it was a prolapse, as almost an inch of her bum was sticking out. She'd vomited twice, and was now straining very hard to poop, but was still active and energetic.
Unable to do much else for her I called them again in Tears...because if I couldn't get her treatment NOW she was eventually going to start suffering from a prolonged prolapse...infection, pain, death. They offered only putting her to sleep free humanely. I even got my mom to try signing up for the assistance too...they rejected her as well.
So around midnight we drove to the animal hospital with her wrapped in a towel against my chest purring contentedly as I bawled my eyes out. They wouldn't even let me sit with her when they did it, because she was so small, that the usual instruments would be too big, so took her to the back to do it alone.
My baby was with strangers, scared alone, and they put her down. I even heard her start meowing in the waiting room, and I couldn't take it I had to go outside. When the Vet came out with her in a little gray pet body bag....I almost collapsed. He said it was likely parasites, and surgery would likely have been needed to help her in the sum of 2-3,000 dollars.
I buried her this morning...and pur her favorite toy up as a marker. I had to get rid of her litter box, and gave her kitten special kibble away to a friend who has a Calico Kitten that is maybe two weeks older than Stormy.
I feel so guilty, like I let her down. She trusted me, she would follow me around the house. When she got too lonely she'd crawl up my pant leg for attention, and I sent her off to die with no one that loved her around her, strangers.
It hurts....I'am trying to think of it like this...That she was going to end up passing, I could have kept her alive, but without the funds to get her help she would have likely suffered and died painfully. So I took my happy, content little baby to a Vet that terminated her.
It's only been one day...and I can't stand it. I miss her so much. I'll admit I am lonely...I am just here with my parents to help them as they are elderly and need the assistance...she was my baby. I a 6'1 41 yr old man bawled my eyes out, and still tear up over this sweet little angel....and I can't shake the guilt that I killed her. If I had a better job, I could have saved her, if I had money she would still be with me...instead she's in the Cold ground outside. I can't stand it.
I haven't been this depressed in a long time...A Storm Brought her to me, and a storm took her away.

I understand, I'm going HAM. But, Hockey has been eating my life since the playoffs started, and I thought this might be fun. I respect the hell out of the Panthers, but it's been irritating listening to the hype they've been getting and the Oilers being constantly underrated. I'm just a guy, I could be totally out to lunch. But, the only thing that will convince me of that is the Florida Panthers. It's up to the players, and anything can happen. That's why Hockey is brilliant. Teams come back from down 3-0. Bottom feeders beat president trophy winners. It's not like Basketball is - the "better team" doesn't always win.
So I'll start-
East is a dog conference, and every team the Panthers have played against has been riddled with injuries or simply just been missing pieces. Everyone thought Boston was going to be rebuilding with their roster, Kuch and Stams dragged the Lightning to the playoffs, and New York's captain would have been a healthy scratch if he wasn't the fucking captain. This isn't me putting these labels on these teams - this is all common knowledge and I've seen it relatively widely accepted amongst fans of these teams.
In contrast, many people thought that the Kings could actually upset the Oilers. The Canucks were essentially dubbed the series winner when they went up 3-2, and 95% of fans everywhere (and 100% of Dallas fans) thought the Stars were cup bound after dethroning the last 2 champs.
Florida's physical play essentially shut down every team because they were one-dimensional. Boston could only count on Pasta for offense. Tampa needed Kuch to connect with Stammer, and while the Rangers top line can score and produce in a lot of different ways - they're truly the team everyone markets Edmonton as. They have one line that scores.
Listen, if it were last years Edmonton team - sure. This version of Florida probably punks them. But, this Edmonton team has proven to be the most versatile team in the entire playoffs. They're not getting credit for it.
They score in all situations, they can hold a lead, and they can lock it down. Skinner is still a question mark at times, but honestly, Florida's offense is 100% produced by defensive zone errors. They're really not that talented at making high danger chances appear against established defense. Edmonton doesn't have lines that make many mistakes on defense. The majority of goals scored against Edmonton in 5 on 5 play have been blue line bombs that are heavily screened or tipped in, or goals off the rush - particularly when Dallas was successful in cherry picking. Ofc Vancouver scored many goals on incredible shots, but they had a magical season in terms of shooting %, a complete team of hard core snipers. They did the same thing to Sarous and what most people considered a relatively good Nashville defense. The only major defensive blunders that come to mind the Oilers have been scored on are the McLeod and Kulak whiffs on zone clears, along with a couple of mental mistakes by Darnell Nurse in particular during the Vancouver series.
The Oilers can play a skill game, or they can play a physical game. If you want to trade penalties, they lead the playoffs in all special teams categories. They broke the second best PK in the league during the first round, the LA kings, then they outscored the 6th best power play in the league, the Dallas stars, 1-0 while Dallas had a man advantage. Not to mention that the Canucks and the LA kings were both top 10 power plays, and were held scoreless outside of a two game slump the Oilers completely left behind.
In terms of 5 on 5? They out depthed the stars. The team Hockey had dubbed the deepest team in the league. The Oilers had 13 players score goals during that series. The stars had 7. The Oilers lead the playoffs in even strength goals. They also have 4 players with 20 or more points. And, they've had 16 unique goal scorers, compared to Florida's 14.
I'll remind you that LA and Dallas are both considered elite defensive teams with multiple shut down lines and players. The Canucks were also touted as a defensively strong team, as well as a physical one.
If the question mark is the goal tending, I don't think goalie bob passes the eye test. He's quietly let in some softies. But the Florida defense and turtling style of play has mostly insulated him. For sure, he can be given the edge over Skinner. But we've seen Skinner bend and not break. If the oilers broke Otter (2 goals on 3 grade A shots in game 6, 4 goals in game 5) they can certainly break a goalie that has shown at times to be shaky at times.
In terms of defensemen, Mattias Ekholm and Evan Bouchard are fire and ice. They're simultaneously impossibly difficult to score against, and uniquely talented on offense. They will likely lead the team in minutes, particularly Bouchard. Nurse will get down and dirty with the Panthers, and the Oilers have shown they have 7 capable defenders. While Florida certainly has an edge in the bottom 3 defenseman, I don't think any of their pairings are better pure defenders than Dallas' top 4.
Finally - the Oilers will have the best player on the ice during at least 1/2 the play time. Draisaitl had a finger injury during the Dallas series that seemed to be resolving by the end of it. He still has 28 points. With a week of rest, I think we're about to see the Draisaitl we saw during round 1. Or even during last years playoffs. Nothing needs to be said of McDavid. Both have proven time and again that physical play doesn't bother them.
Bottom line is this - the Oilers don't need teams to make mistakes for them to score. McDavid and Draisaitl will beat players 1 on 1, which means at some point, Florida will commit another guy to them or take a penalty. Florida has no offensive talent that demands the same attention. They have an excellent group of players that pounce on teams that make mistakes. The Oilers don't make many.
I've got Oilers to go up 3-1. I don't know if it'll be game 5 or 6, but I can't see it ending without McDavid lifting the cup.
Thanks for reading. Just my thoughts and observations. I'm just a regular guy who likes sports.

I’ve suspected pots for a few months now (I think I’ve had it for maybe 2 or so years) and finally got in to see a cardiologist, the first thing he said was that “We don’t really call it POTS it just describes a set of symptoms”. Which was strange…. But I looked past it, got him to look at my history, my holter results, medications EVERYTHING. And described in detail the immense impact it’s had on my life (even cried quite a bit) but he just looked me up and down and said “Maybe you should exercise more”. Jesus. I am overweight, but the thing is before Pots came on in me I was super active; running, walking, sports etc. I tried to explain that I had these same symptoms before I gained weight (from struggling with fatigue) and that I physically couldn’t do these things anymore, I didn’t just stop for no reason. He just rolled his eyes and advised I also stop the other medications I’m on.
I really pressed him about if he considered my heart rate jumping sometimes 50 beats just from standing is just because I don’t exercise enough, which he just said “it’s hard to tell” and that he wouldn’t want to diagnose me until I reach a weight he deems adequate. He also said, that “usually these things go away” if I just exercise and eat better.
I have PCOS that affects my ability to lose weight, but I do exercise everyday! Sure it’s all horizontal on the ground stuff, but it’s a lot even if it’s not traditional upright cardio.
I then asked if he thought my occasional fainting episodes were also because I’m overweight and he just said “I don’t know?” He also admitted he doesn’t know much about dysautonomia which was really the cherry on top.
Anyway I’m just super frustrated and so emotional because this has been a really hard journey and process for me and he wouldn’t even take me seriously.
Anyone else had a similar experience where they just tell you to exercise more to make the “pots” go away?
Edit: Also want to say, I totally understand that he is a medical professional, and that being a healthy weight and exercising is important! I exercise frequently and eat as well as I can, but he wasn’t willing to investigate my problems (which have been ruining my life, I can’t function as a human) just because he looked at me and decided my weight must be the issue. That’s where my issue lies.

MATCH RESULTS

Winner	Loser	Match Finish	Stipulation
Jordynne Grace	Stevie Turner	Juggernaut Driver
Jazmyn Nyx	Thea Hail w/ Andre Chase and Ridge Holland	Pele Kick
Tony D'Angelo w/ The Family	Damon Kemp w/ The NQCC	2-0 Fisherman Suplex	For the NXT Heritage Cup
Natalya w/ Karmen Petrovich	Izzy Dame	Backslide
Sol Ruca, Jaida Parker, and Michin	Kelani Jordan, Lash Legend, and Fallon Henley	Sol Snatcher

IMPORTANT NOTES

• Kickoff with Ava waiting for someone to arrive as Ethan Page rolls up and says Ava really knows how to treat a free agent as Ava waits with security and Robert Stone nearby.
  
• In the parking lot Trick apologizes to Lash for last week and asks if she's seen Ethan. Lash says they're good but he hasn't seen him but hopes he finds him. Trick says he's not on the same page as Noam and Oro but what Page did wasn't right. Trick tells Lash he knows she's locked in to become Women's North American Champion, and he'll knock the ego out of Page.
  
• Shawn Spears is speaking to trainees and Je'von Evans saying they can go far but their path may be dark. Josh Briggs comes by and tells them not to listen to this idiot. Shawn says there is a difference between saying something and proving it but Josh accuses him of trying to find someone to manipulate. Josh gets heated but Je'von steps up and tells him that Shawn isn't worth it.
  
• The six competitors in the Women's North American Championship ladder match are in the ring for a summit hosted by Booker T. Booker says he sees the future of this business in this ring right now but the question is who's going to be the first? Michin says she knew she had to be the first champion, she knows what it takes since she's competed in ladder matches in NXT before and this is where she gets to be the HBIC. Jaida parker cuts in and tells Michin this isn't Black and Gold and if she tries to step she'll turn her ass back and blue. Fallon says this is her match to win because she doesn't care about a single person in this ring she respects and that title was made just for her. Kelani Jordan says they all have an equal chance but no one will put it all on the line like she will because these people deserve a champion like Kelani. Booker gets things back on track and asks Sol Ruca what she'll do to get it done. Sol says she was willing to let everyone else get their jabs in, but the fact is five souls are going to be snatched on Sunday. Lash tells her she isn't snatching a damn soul over here, while it's been a rough couple of weeks but Sunday is about going from a woman with potential to the woman who's made it. Jaida says the only thing Lash can think of is big Trick and the 6 start to brawl. Robert Stone comes out and says he has received permission from Ava to make a 6 woman tag match official for tonight.
  
• Charlie Dempsey is doing a mob impression in the mirror when Damon Kemp and Myles Borne sneak up behind him and talk in the mirror as well. Charlie keeps up his impression as he tells Damon to win back the Cup, capiche? Damon says he still doesn't know what that means but okay.
  
• Thea Hail is hyped up backstage but Riley and Duke Hudson say they won't be able to come out for her match tonight. Thea says she thought they were Chase U and they always stuck together. Andre tells her he'll still come out and as they make their way down they are joined by Ridge Holland who asks what's going on. Half way through Thea's match, Riley and Duke come out through the crowd, throwing Thea off her game.
  
• Backstage Ethan Page thanks Ava for the lucrative offer but reminds her when you have all the leverage you can basically get everything you want and walks off. Robert Stone tells Ava he handled the 6 woman tag from earlier and will even add a stipulation. Ava thanks him as they look over all of Ethan's contract demands.
  
• Earlier today, the Good Brothers ambush Axiom and Nathan Frazer at the merch stand until security can break them up.
  
• Josh Briggs is set to make his entrance but we go to the back to see that Shawn Spears has taken him out with a chair. Je'von Evans approaches and challenges Shawn to try that on him and the two brawl to the ring. Je'von brings the fight to Shawn and dives at him to the outside until officials try to pull the two apart. Shawn shoves Je'von into the steps and tears apart the announce table and drags him on top of it. Shawn goes to Pedigree Je'von through it but he gets back body dropped through it instead. Evans finishes with a springboard cutter in the ring and throws Shawn to the outside.
  
• Tony D'Angelo says these cup matches aren't his cup of espresso but he's learned to like the taste and Luca has given him all the ins and outs of the Catch Clause.
  
• Ava says she wanted Ethan Page to sign his contract in her office but he is demanding he does it in the middle of the ring. Trick Williams walks up and says Ethan is crazy if he thinks he's going to jump
  
• Michin and Sol Ruca run into Jordynne backstage when Jaida Parker interrupts to tell them to stop kissing each others ass. Jordynne walks off when Arianna Grace comes to introduce herself and says of course Jordynne should know her since they both have the last name. Tatum Paxley sneaks up and feels up the Knock Out's Championship and says she just loves championships and Jordynne says it's the most important thing to her but Arianna says it isn't as important as her crowd.
  
• Axiom says the Good Brothers aren't tough for attacking them from behind, Nathan says real toughness is getting back up and then going on to defend their titles and putting on the performance of a lifetime.
  
• Gallus ambush Tyson and Tyrique before their match before cutting a promo. Joe says they are back at full strength unlike last week when Sexy Red was allowed to be at ringside while Wolfgang wasn't. Joe says maybe if they shook their ass or if they played some other sport then they'd respect them. Mark says they aren't here to be influencers, they are there to be professional wrestlers and Wolfgang says the next generation is a bunch of wee boys pretending to be wrestlers. Joe says they have business to take care of at Battleground since the triple threat means anything goes. Oba Femi makes his ways out, he says it'd be foolish of him to think of them as anything but extremely dangerous. However he warns Mark and Wolfgang that they can try to help Joe but the outcome remains the same. Wes Lee makes his way through the crowd and says if he's going to win his title back he's got to through three angry Scotsman and the most dangerous superstar in the game today. Gallus assault Oba, taking him down as Wes Lee rushes the ring but is quickly cut off by the numbers game of Gallus.
  
• Wendy Choo gets ready but when she looks in the mirror her eyes look possessed and the mirror shatters, she will return next week.
  
• Lexis King says he beat down Dante Chen so bad he isn't even here this week but he gets ambushed by Dante and the two brawl until they are pulled apart. Lexis says they are going to finish this once and for all.
  
• Ava is about to walk to the ring for the contract signing when Stevie Turner approaches her and says it wasn't exactly fair to put her against Jordynne Grace so maybe she should get another opportunity next week.
  
• Ava is in the ring for Ethan Page's contract signing. She introduces him and Ethan walks to the ring. Ava says this isn't how she likes to handle business so let's get this finished. Ethan tells the crowd to shut the hell up as they chant for Trick. He thanks Ava but tells her she better get used to him calling the shots if he's going to sign this contract because he's going to get a lot of perks other people aren't going to because he's no longer waiting around. He says Ava is about to sign the wrestler with the biggest upside in the business. Ava tells him she isn't signing someone with these demands. Ethan says everyone know that NXT lost a ton of top stars in the draft and they need someone as big as him to fill the void. Ethan says he could have sat at home for two years collecting a check but he isn't about that. Ava knows he's talented and he's a megastar and more importantly she knows that he's earned the ego that he has because so far tonight he's only been spitting facts. Trick Williams makes his way down as Ethan throws the table out of the ring and demands the music is cut. He tells Trick he knows how these things go and neither of them are going through a table because he's here for business. Trick tells Ava to give Ethan whatever he wants so he can get what he and everyone else wants and that is to watch him whoop Ethan's ass. Trick says he's been there for a minute and there's a few boys in the back who've been there the whole time while Ethan is trying to jump the line in his house. Trick says he's going to make an example out of Ethan to show everyone who thinks they can just jump to NXT and get a title shot. Ethan tells Trick to chill out since this is just business but says Trick has every right to be angry after what he did last week. He tells Trick to listen, the two of them actually have a lot in common, he watched how Trick was in Carmelo's shadow and it's a spot he's been a hundred times in his career and he respects Trick for breaking out. Ethan says that title comes with the spotlight that he craves and there was nothing personal about the attack, it was about getting what he deserved and signs the contract. Ava says she can't agree to this as Trick tells her to sign. Ethan says she won't sign because if she signs she'll be giving Ethan his first match this Sunday at Battleground for the NXT Championship, and she is signing the End of the Whoop That Trick Era. Trick tells him he isn't ending nothing and he's just going to learn what it means to whoop that Trick and tells Ava to sign the contract which she does as Trick and Ethan square up to each other.
  

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The episode came back to the Grips walking off their team's bleachers at the badminton court, Anne Maria and Millie at the front followed by Topher and Justin. The model lingered briefly before grabbing Topher by the arm and holding him back.
“Hey! Why are you holding me back?” Topher gave him an inquisitive look.
"We need to talk about the vote should we lose today," Justin said.
“I can see where this is going,” Topher mused.
"Me and you aren't voting ourselves off, obviously, and I know you'll throw a fit if I even consider Anne Maria, so that would leave us with Millie," Justin considered.
“I'm already on board, Justin, but I'm not sure if my girlfriend would vote for her after your poor choice of words earlier on,” Topher said.
“I'm already aware of that, but I know how to get Anne Maria on our side,” Justin said. “I'm not going to flirt with her, per say. I know she's taken. Just convince her in my own special way.”
“Anne Maria's got some pretty strong loyalty to me, so you'll obviously fail if you try to make a move on her or get socked in the eye,” Topher reminded him.
“As a bonus, with Millie gone, you'll get to spend more time with Anne Maria, Topher,” Justin informed the fanboy. “She and Millie are usually together before you came into the season.”
"You've got yourself a deal already," Topher said with a smirk.
The footage flashed forward to the castmates sitting on wooden bleachers inside another studio, separated by team with Gaffers on the left and Grips on the right.
"I wonder which athletic player I'm going to be up against?" Topher said to Millie. "I've already beaten Jasmine before, so I'd like to do it again, but I think I'd prefer going up against Chase."
"This is because you think Chase is weaker than Jasmine, right?" Millie told Topher. "He's more capable than you think and can handle his own battles."
"I'm not saying that he's weak at all," Topher tried to clarify.
“Right,” Millie dully remarked with a roll of her eyes.
"SILENCE!" Chris shouted in an odd but dramatic accent, earning the attention of all eight contestants. He was dressed in nothing but a toga and a head wreath, standing in a chariot being pulled by a helmeted Chef Hatchet. A suitably dramatic piece of music began in the background as he continued. "The score is one to one! And now, second-seat Topher will be competing," he said as the chariot came to a halt in front of the bleachers, "in Grrrreco-Rrrrroman wrrrrestling with," the camera panned to reveal that they were in front of the same ring that had been used for the boxing match, "Jasmine!"
The tall Aussie grinned.
Confessional: Topher
"I gotta say," Topher told the confessional camera, "I am out of my league wrestling a girl who's shoulders my head can't even reach. It was one thing when it was knocking her into a tar pit with a bone. This time, I am completely powerless, but I have to try!"
Confessional: Jasmine
"I'm really stoked for this competition," Jasmine told the camera confidently. "For one, my intimidating physique will come in handy in a fight, and this will be a great opportunity to gain the trust of my new teammates."
Confessionals End
Jasmine was stretching in her swimsuit in the right corner when the footage resumed, smirking cockily across the ring. The camera panned over to Topher, also in his swimming trunks, but looking quite assured.
"I really wish that Jasmine was faster than Chase, but then again, Chase has lightning speed," Topher whispered before the shot panned over to Chris, who smiled impishly and pulled a rope that was hanging next to him.
The camera zoomed out as a high-walled glass box filled with colorful plastic balls was dropped into the ring on top of the contestants, a few balls scattering on the floor with the impact. The castmates on the stands looked shocked and surprised, and Jasmine popped back up completely flabbergasted, spitting one of the balls out of her mouth.
"We have to wrestle in a ball pit?" Jasmine asked with disbelief after wiping her mouth with the back of her arm.
"A seriously disgusting one," Topher echoed, surfacing nearby with a used diaper on his head. He tossed it away with a look of horror and faced the host. "Where did you get this from, anyway?"
"The local carnival," Chris answered happily. "They were pretty cheap, too, so those balls haven't been cleaned in, oh, ever. Now play ball!" He picked up a large curved brass horn and blew a few notes, signaling the start of the match.
Topher was the first to move, diving into the balls while Jasmine watched and looked around with planned caution. The fanboy resurfaced seconds later, pouncing on the Outback girl's back, who yelped in fright. He quickly put her in a headlock, but it quickly became apparent that Jasmine wasn't budging.
In fact, her shock quickly faded into annoyance, and she grabbed Topher by the arms and tried to pry him off her. "Just get off," Jasmine told the boy as he struggled to keep his hold. "You aren't gonna take me down so easily." She finally managed to break his grip, and tossed him lightly into the balls on his back.
"Quick, get him while he's down!" MK called from the sidelines, earning a nod from Jasmine.
She took a step towards Topher, but he got back up and tackled her in the stomach. The shot pulled back from the close-up of him pushing at her, to reveal that she stopped herself from falling over and grabbed Topher by the shoulders before forcing him away from her.
"Knock her out, baby!" Anne Maria called from the sidelines in excitement.
"Hey Chris," Jasmine asked, "how do we win this, per say?"
"I guess you could throw him out of the ring, but those walls are kinda high," Chris said after thinking.
Jasmine looked up at the top of the glass walls, then over to what looked like a mesh screen on one side. "I'm gonna do it," she said in determination.
"No you're not!" Topher countered, the camera cutting to him as he dived in and grabbed her leg, pulling it out and causing the Australian teen to fall backward, sending several balls and a baby bottle flying.
Topher took the opportunity to pounce forward onto her chest and grab her leg in an arm lock. "This does not count as me harming a lady, by the way," he told Jasmine. "Prepare to lose to-"
"Ma-ma?"
The music came to a complete stop, and the two competitors turned shocked looks to Topher's back, where a small and well-dressed child with curly black hair and glasses was clinging. Neither said anything, even as Chef suddenly descended from above on a rope harness, picked up the child, and ascended just as quickly.
Still wide-eyed with shock, Topher soon found himself getting flipped around as Jasmine broke out of his hold. "Time to put an end to this," she told him as she grabbed him by the waist and slung him over her shoulder, "once and for all." As he grunted and struggled to escape, she walked unflinchingly to the mesh part of the wall, ripped it open, and tossed Topher over the ropes and out of the ring.
The fanboy landed on his butt with a stunned look on his face, and Chris was next to him in moments. "And we have a winner!" he said with a grin, a victorious tune playing as the other Gaffers cheered.
Still in the ring, Jasmine cheered with her hands on her hips. "Now how ‘bout that for scoring one for the team?"
Confessional: Jasmine
"Topher would've had a good shot at beating me if it hadn't been for that kid," Jasmine told the confessional camera. "I do feel sorry for him about that, but my team has to score a win today."
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to a close-up of a smiling Chris walking across the football field used earlier that day. "So, as we head to the fourth and final leg of the Total Drama sports tournie, the Grips are ahead two to one." The four leading players were shown standing together and smiling at one another.
"The final face-off?" the host said as the shot pulled out, revealing that a small basketball court, net, and slanted trampoline had been set up. "A slam dunk competition, with points going to the most creative dunk. Let's play it for the camera! It's..." he said, passing a basketball across the court to the eye candy, who caught it and gave his competition a smirk, "Justin and Chase!"
The Grips were shown cheering for Justin, who still clutched the basketball in his hands as he looked confident. The shot panned over to Chase, also smiling confidently as his team cheered him on.
"Okay Chase, show them what a real athlete can do!" Ripper shouted.
"I'm looking forward to it!" Chase chuckled coolly.
Confessional: Chase
"This challenge was built for me!" Chase boasted in the make-up trailer. “No puzzles or tricks. Just me dribbling a ball and slam dunking! Swish!"
Confessional Ends
The footage cut back to a shot of the court, Justin standing at the left side of the center circle facing the trampoline and basket on the right, with Chase and Chris standing in the front right corner and the other six contestants along the far side of the court.
"All right. I call this the "Justin Freezes the Gaffers" Slam!" Justin announced. Chris blew his whistle and he got started, beginning with a few trick dribbles between and around his legs as he walked down the court to a jaunty whistling theme. “Hey! Keep watching!”
Justin walked past Chase and stopped nearby in order to give him a playful nudge to his arm. “Whoa! Hey!” he said and walked back to the court. He paused in front of Jasmine and Ripper. “Look out!” he warned the two as he slammed the ball under Jasmine's legs and onto Ripper's crotch, the latter groaning as the ball went back to Justin.
For his final act, Justin ran across the court and grabbed MK's hat off her head, prompting her to gasp. With both the ball and the hat in his possession, Justin placed the hat over the ball, jumped onto the trampoline, and slammed it through the hoop with only one hand.
He landed perfectly and walked back to his cheering teammates in victory.
The shot panned to the right to show Chase walking over to MK and giving her her hat back. “That was nothing!” Chase snorted. “I'll show them what a real slam dunk looks like!"
The scene cut to Chase at the center circle, already dribbling with a smile on his face. "I call this move the “Fly ‘Til You Cry” Dunk!"
“That's pretty creative,” Justin said from the same corner Chase had been standing in previously, but the stunt boy wasn't phased by it in the slightest.
A hard rock theme began to play as Chase dribbled hard a few times then ran down the court. He shot the ball high into the sky and dashed towards the trampoline. He proceeded to jump on the trampoline and bounced up, executing a front flip before scooping the descending ball and slamming it through the hoop.
He struck a pose as he landed, and the ball bounced off the court. "Point to Chase and the Gaffers!" Chris declared as both sidelined teams stood in stunned silence. "Prepare," the host said swiftly, leaning forward dramatically as the more generic background music that had resumed after the hard rock ended quickly rose in tension, "for the Ultimate Extreme Sports Tiebreaker!"
All eight teens looked wary at the announcement.
The scene flashed over to a jumbo screen set up by some fake buildings, the host appearing on it immediately. "Get ready for the battle of battles," Chris announced as an intense metal song played in the background. "The grudge match the world has been waiting for!" He slid off the screen to the right, only to slide back in from the left a moment later. "A competition so intense," he slid back to the left and reappeared from above, "so grueling," he slid back up, then popped in closer to the screen, "so..."
"So what is it already?!" Millie shouted up at the screen.
Chris blinked on the screen, which soon cut to static. The viewpoint shifted to a distance shot of the football field, now without any additional courts on it, as the host drove up in a golf cart holding several things of a distinctly pink color.
"Pompoms?!" Ripper exclaimed in disbelief after the host shook one of them.
"Yes!" Anne Maria cheered and stepped forward. "This is so much more my speed than badminton!"
"Glad to hear it," Chris told her with his trademark grin, "because the tiebreaker is a cheer-off between the Grips and the Gaffers. Each team's gotta dig deep, and create a cheer for someone they think deserves cheering."
The scene flashed again, showing the Gaffers in a huddle talking. The camera panned over to the Grips in a similar situation, and cut to a viewpoint looking up at them from inside their circle.
"I think we should just cheer for me," Justin suggested. "I'm the most good-looking guy on the show."
"Cheer for you?" Millie doubted. "Chris said we had to dig deep, and cheering for only you won't fit that criteria."
“We could cheer for the show and how famous it's making us,” Topher suggested.
“You all should listen to someone who's on the cheer team back home, i.e. me!" Anne Maria interrupted. "We're not gonna cheer for one person or a sadist show. That's not gonna work at all."
"So what are we going to cheer for?" Millie asked. “The other team are also working on how they're going to beat us!”
"We have to do something that has a lot of spirit," Anne Maria said. "Now listen up, this is what we're gonna do..."
The view flashed back outside the Grips' huddle just as Chris stepped towards them. "Time!" he called, getting their attention and breaking their huddle with a shake of his pompoms. "Grips up!"
Anne Maria took a deep breath and stepped forward. Taking the pompoms out of Chris' hands while a marching band drumline began in the background.
"Justin, Justin, he's our guy! He's got a dashing smile and he's looking pretty fly!" she chanted with a few twisting flips and back handsprings.
"Millie's the best and a savvy teen! She helps us stay so super lean!" She shook her pompoms around and did a few jumps.
"Topher is S L I C K! He makes us all pumped up every day!" She shook her pompoms a few more times and did some leg kicks as Topher, Millie, and Justin scurried into place behind her.
"Give it up, give it up, for Anne Maria! A dynamite gal, not a Cinderella! Goooooooo Grips!!" She finished with a spinning backflip just as her team unfurled a banner between them that read 'GO GRIPS!'.
The drumline ended, and the Grips were still in the poses they'd struck at the end of the cheer.
"Nice job," Chris told them. "Really speaks to cheerleading tradition. Gaffers," he turned to the other four, "your response?" Jasmine, Ripper, Chase, and MK nodded at each other, then lined up.
"Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris!" MK chanted to the tune of Men Without Hats’ “The Safety Dance”.
"Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris!" Chase joined in.
"Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris!" Ripper joined in next.
"Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris Chris!" Jasmine finished off last.
"CHHHRRRRIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!" they all chanted as one in tune as they kneeled on one leg spontaneously.
"Amazing!" Chris gushed with absolute glee. "The rhythm, the synchronicity, the incredible kissing up!" he told the Gaffers. "We have the winners! And as for the losers," his face fell into a disappointed frown, "I'll see you in the theater!" He left the Gaffers to cheer with each other.
"And we were on a good winning streak!" Millie said from the sidelines, the other Grips looking just as disappointed about their loss.
For the first time since the previous Aftermath, the Gilded Chris Ceremony opened with its usual sequence and fanfare. The host and assistant were already on stage when the introduction ended, with Chef in his formal pink dress.
"So, the Grips lose for the first time since forever!" Chris said over a shot of the four teens casting their votes, Justin seated in the front row somewhat apart from the rest of his team. "Must be tough, especially for Topher since he just debuted!"
The camera focused on Topher, who was sitting in the second-highest row with Anne Maria a row below and Millie a few feet away from Justin. "Hey," he protested, "we had a good thing going!"
"Maybe, maybe not," Chris said with a grin before turning his gaze. "Justin sure didn't help with his loss to Chase in today's basketball match!"
Justin shrugged. "Not taking any responsibility for that one."
Chris carried on. "Meanwhile, despite actually winning in the boxing ring, Millie doesn't seem to have much going on!"
"I don't need to be manipulative in order to be interesting," Millie shot a pointed glare at Chris.
"Anne Maria!" Chris continued with a grin. "I'd say you're the only one here who might be safe!"
"No kiddin’," Anne Maria said. "Why else-"
"Oh, nobody wants to hear it," Chris interrupted. "Just take the statue!" He tossed a Gilded Chris to the Jersey girl, who glared but caught it anyway. The camera panned down to Topher, who was tossed an award as well, and he caught it happily. "Tango Fail, you're safe too!"
The focus moved over to the podium as Chris turned a solemn look over to Chef, who had but a single award left in his hands. The background music turned tense, and Justin and Millie were shown waiting for the reward.
"Justin, I'm sorry, but..." Chris said slowly and sorrowfully, attracting the eye candy's attention and putting confusion on his face and a smile on the author's, "...head's up!" He suddenly tossed the final Gilded Chris his way, and he caught it perfectly.
"Aww!" Millie pouted, standing up with a distraught expression. "I was so close to the merge."
“Sorry, but I had to vote for someone,” Topher said nonchalantly.
Confessional: Topher
"Justin's plan to get rid of Millie worked," Topher said in the confessional trailer with a smile. "Though I wonder how he convinced Anne Maria to vote for her."
Confessional: Justin
"I'm not saying I voted for Millie just because she said I'm not cute," Justin confessed calmly. "Okay, it was just because of that. Thing is, Anne Maria told me she was sending me home, even though I haven't tried to use my affections on her lately. So you see? I didn't lose my mojo. I just needed to shake things up. With my new patented, all-time lady-killing mega flip."
He slowly shook his head from one direction to the other, and his hair moved about even slower before falling back into its normal perfectly well-coiffed position. "I'm back, baby!"
Confessionals End
Chef Hatchet escorted Millie to the Walk of Shame. “Millie, wait up!!” The two were stopped by Chase running over to them.
“Chase?! What are you doing here?!” Millie wondered.
“I can't just let you go without a goodbye from me,” Chase explained.
“I'm sorry we can't make it to the merge together again, but only this time, the roles are reversed,” Millie said.
“Don't worry. I'll be fine by myself just like you were last season,” Chase comforted her. “And I will win this season for us! I guarantee that!”
“Make sure to watch out for MK,” Millie added. “Me and Jasmine are sure that she's up to something.”
“Hurry up, roaches!” Chef shouted impatiently, startling the two for a brief second.
“I have to go now! Remember that I'll be supporting you while watching the show,” Millie bid her goodbye before grabbing Chase by the face and giving him a quick kiss to the lips. Afterwards, she let go and walked the red carpet with Chef, Chase waving goodbye to her.
The scene flashed forward to Millie stepping into the limousine of losers, which sped off with a cloud of dust.
The scene cut to Chris in the boxing/wrestling ring. "Wow! Looks like Millie left us with a bit of a doozy!" Chris laughed, an energetic and sporty song starting up as he sported boxing gloves. "How's that for a dramatic sucker punch?" He threw a few test jabs in the direction of Chef, who was back in his normal clothes save a pair of dark pink boxing gloves.
"Will MK continue to stay in the bad guy corner? Are Topher and Anne Maria gonna kiss?" he asked while continuing to punch the air as he worked his way around an unimpressed Chef. "Am I gonna knock big ol' Chef out with my killer uppercut?"
He started to throw a punch at his assistant, but it was swiftly answered by a hammering fist that knocked the host off his feet. "Find out next time," he said as he got back to his feet and Chef walked away, "here, on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
"Honestly, I'm kind of happy to be going home today," Millie told the camera as she sat on the seat of the limousine. "The million dollars would have been great, but I'm sure I can make tons of money selling my finished book!" She whipped out her book from her pocket and showed it. “Thankfully, I didn't get framed for writing nasty stuff about the contestants like last time, and I certainly didn't have anyone drive a wedge between me and Chase. It would've been nice to spend more time with him, but we have to focus on our own interests and passions. And if he was to win the season, then that means I'd technically win as well. So it's basically a win-win for us." She sported a face of realization. “That was a bit of a mouthful.”
Eva - 15th
Geoff - 15th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 13th
Sky - 12th
Brick - 11th
Scott - 10th
Izzy - 9th
Millie - 8th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Justin, Topher
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Jasmine, MK, Ripper

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Justin, Millie, Topher
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Jasmine, MK, Ripper
Episode 15: Million Dollar Babies
"Last time on Total Drama Action! Our caveman movie challenges made some people look good! And other people look bet-ter!"
"Jasmine switched over to the Gaffers, and even then, they still couldn't score a win against their competition. And Topher showed off how much he meant to everybody."
"As their reward, the Grips won a mammoth rack of mastodon ribs while the Gaffers had to make do with what they could find, and what could find them."
The scene then flashed over to a few of the control tent's monitors. "Will Jasmine stay on good terms with her new team?" Chris asked as the two monitors that were focused on cut from static to identical pictures of the nervous looking girl. "Will Ripper keep up his jerkitude?" The two monitors cut back to static before cutting to identical pictures of the glaring boy. "And will anything happen between Anne Maria and Topher?" The monitors switched to static again, then to pictures of the Jersey girl and the fanboy smiling at each other.
The screens cut to static once again and the camera pulled back to show Chris sitting in front of them. "Find out the answers right now," he told the camera before the scene flashed to the area outside the cast trailers, "on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
Snoring could be heard as the episode opened on the morning sun, a small bird passing through the scene as the camera panned down to the cast trailers. It focused in on the boys' quarters, and the scene cut inside to Ripper fast asleep, causing the snores that had been heard outside.
The sound of a trumpet rang through the air, startling the rude boy upright. "I get the first and last waffle, Xander!" he shouted, still half-asleep.
"I'm up!" Topher shouted from the other side of the room. He rolled out of his bed and onto the floor. "Wait a minute, I'm not a military recruit at all!"
Across the room, Chase sat up in his bed. “It was just a wake-up call for all of us,” he grumbled.
"That's it! I'm moving to Canada!" Justin said, fully awake. "Except I'm already there!"
The scene cut back outside, the door to the girls' trailer swinging open. “At this point, I'm not gonna complain about our wake-up calls,” Millie said while walking out along with MK and Anne Maria.
The camera panned above to show Jasmine yawning before dismounting off her tree, landing on top of the trailer, and finally jumping to the floor. “Good morning, girls!” she greeted them happily.
“There's nothing good about this one,” Anne Maria scoffed. “Not when we were rudely awakened!”
“I'm used to it,” Jasmine told the girls. “I'm normally woken up by the alligators roaring next door to my home.”
The shot cut to a close-up of a trombone as Chris played a few notes on it. "Morning, sports fans!" he greeted as the camera pulled back to show him wearing a sort of one-man marching band outfit – a stereotypical hat accompanied by a combination bass drum and cymbals strapped to his back that sounded with each step he took.
The moment he appeared, an upbeat melody reminiscent of a sports movie began to play. "Who's ready to put up a good offense?"
"'Ghetti here!" a familiar voice called out from behind the host, the shot pulling back again as Chef walked up to the cast. "Get your pipin' hot spaghetti here!" He was wearing the hat and large box associated with food vendors at sporting events, and true to his word, he was serving up balls of tomato sauce-covered spaghetti. He smirked, then began pitching them at the cast – first Chase, who was hit in the gut as Justin and Ripper leaned out of the way; then Anne Maria who was struck in the chest but managed to catch it on the rebound; followed by Jasmine and Millie who easily caught a couple each; and finally MK, who quickly ducked under the first before getting struck in the head. Sauce and pasta sliding down her face, she shot an utterly unamused look off-camera.
"Hey, what's the deal?" Jasmine asked the host.
"The deal is breakfast," Chris told them all.
"Wait, we're having pasta for breakfast?" Millie asked in disbelief as Jasmine shrugged and started slurping a noodle.
"It's called carbo-loading, contestants," Chris explained, leaning towards the girl. "Today, you're all going to give 200%, in our Sports Movie challenge!"
"That is a mathematical impossibility," MK deadpanned before taking another pasta ball to the face.
"Suck that 'ghetti back, you lovable underdogs, destined to come back from certain failure!" Chris told the cast as he began to walk away. "We've got a training run!"
Chase cracked an eager grin as the host walked past. "Did you say running?" he asked excitedly just before the scene cut away with a flash.
A close-up of several shoes running along a grassy field was shown, accompanied by the huffs and pants of their owners. The shot pulled back to the contestants running along a football field, Chase and Jasmine silently vying for the front position. Anne Maria and Topher were behind, shortly followed by Ripper, Justin, MK, and Millie.
"That all you got, sports fans?" Chris called to them before they were shown to have stopped, everyone but Chase and Jasmine trying to catch their breath. "Man up! It's time for more action!"
"You call that a training run?" Chase scoffed. "A ball of noodles and a 3k jog is nothing!"
"That wasn't even a warm-up," Jasmine added.
"Good to see the two of you are so eager to get going!" Chris told them with a grin. "Of course, since this is just a set," the shot pulled back to show that they were standing in front of a stadium-seating backdrop, "and you guys are actors, we don't need to go all-out."
"That explains the astro-turf," Millie said, poking at the plastic grass she was lying on.
"Still," Chris continued, "today's competition is gonna require sweat, guts, heart, and sweat."
"You said sweat twice," Topher corrected. “Not that I'm whining.”
"That's 'cause it's not just your sweat you'll be dealing with," Chris explained. "There's Chef's sweat too!"
The camera quick-panned over to the hulking man, now doing jumping jacks in sweatshirt and training helmet. "'Cause you'll be pushing him the length of the field," Chris said, "aaand, he just ate a huuuge jar of jalapeño peppers, so," Chef stopped jumping and walked over to a tackling dummy that had been set up near the host, "he's sprayin' like a gym class shower!"
"We gotta push spiced up Chef like he's a football dummy?" Justin asked.
"Don't call me a dummy," Chef said.
"Don't worry, Gaffers," Ripper told his team with a quick flex of his arms. "With me around, you don't have to push a thing, dummy or no dummy!"
"What'd I say about the dummy thing?" Chef repeated angrily, sweating profusely in his close-up.
"This is a team effort," Jasmine said to Ripper. "We all have to push, not just you."
The bully frowned upon hearing that comment.
Confessional: Ripper
"Is she seriously doubting the strength and muscle of Ripper?!" Ripper told the confessional camera with disbelief on his face. "I once clobbered a vending machine when it wouldn't give me my dollar back, and that thing was super cheap!" He furrowed his brows. "Jasmine is gonna have problems with me if she continues to doubt me!"
Confessional Ends
With a stopwatch in one hand, Chris blew a whistle in the other and the Gaffers began to push against the tackling dummy Chef was standing on. "That all you got?" he taunted, the sled not moving an inch. "I could push better than that on my day off!"
"Don't even think about talking trash to me!" Ripper protested. His teammates backed off, and with a grunt, he shoved the dummy, Chef and all, into a heap ten yards away. "Booyah! That's how I do it!" he boasted, quickly flexing his biceps while Chef struggled in pain to get the dummy off him.
The scene moved to a group of eight tires that had been set up at the other end of the field. The Grips ran towards them, with Anne Maria in the lead followed by Justin, Topher, and Millie. They made good headway, but the camera soon pulled back to show that each tire had gotten stuck around one of their feet.
"What's with these tires?" Topher cried as he and his teammates tried to shake them off.
"How are we supposed to run this course if our feet are stuck?" Millie questioned.
"Aww, really? I'm sorry!" Chris told them as he walked up before whispering "Wait 'til they get a load of the mouse trap!" to the camera. Moments later, a series of snaps came from inside the tires and the Grips cried in pain and annoyance as they tried to jump away from the traps. "Snap to it, losers!" the host told them with a grin.
The footage skipped forward yet again, now showing MK as she crawled through a mud pit, a wary eye on the barbed wire strung above it. Justin and Topher followed after her, and Anne Maria and Ripper after them. "I've never seen the football team back home do this!" Anne Maria said amid the grunts and groans of her fellow cast members.
"You're right," Chris told her as the camera cut out to show all eight crawling through the pit while the host watched from the other end. "But we had some mud and barbed wire left over from the war movie, and it just seemed fun to me!" He smiled as the camera came in for a close-up. "Is it?"
Everyone groaned in frustration or exhaustion.
"That really bit," MK said as the camera panned up over her mud-splattered figure.
"Who even won the challenge," Topher asked the host.
"Let's see...," Chris told the contestants as he started reading the clipboard in his hands. "Huh, three... carry the five...," he muttered before breaking into a grin and announcing "Nobody!"
The castmates gaped with shock and uttered "Huh?!" as one.
"It was just to establish who's playing who for the real contest to follow," Chris explained before looking over to a large screen nearby. An upbeat techno tune began to play as the camera focused on the screen, which was divided into four sections with each depicting a stick figure performing a different physical activity against a colored background – punching on yellow; swinging a racquet on blue; wrestling with another figure on red; and throwing a ball on green.
"We're running four sporto contests," the host said, "with competitors seeded according to these results." The four-way split disappeared, replaced by two columns of contestants' pictures divided into teams, which disappeared again and reappeared in the following order: Chase and Justin on top; Jasmine and Topher second; Ripper and Anne Maria third; and MK and Millie on the bottom.
"I'm at the top!" Chase cheered. "Just like in track competitions!"
Beside him, Topher raised an eyebrow.
Confessional: Topher
"So it'd seem that Chase is one of the most athletic players on his team," Topher told the confessional camera. "With his speed and agility, he's basically a male Sky, only that he's less humble and more likely to risk his life. He'd be hard to beat."
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to a close-up of a hanging microphone which was promptly grabbed by the host, causing a small amount of feedback. He was revealed to be standing in the middle of a boxing ring wearing a referee's uniform as the camera panned down, and quickly began to speak.
"In the right corner-ner-ner-ner," Chris announced dramatically, "from the Killers Grips-ips-ips-ips! The bookworm bruiser, the judgemental juggernaut, the prim powerhouse," an energetic tune began to play in the background, "MILLLIIIEEE!" The crowd went wild as the camera panned to the corner behind the host, where Millie stood politely inside the ring with a rather blank expression on her face. Justin was standing to the right outside the ropes with a smirk, while Topher and Anne Maria smiled off along the back.
"And in the left corner-ner-ner-ner," Chris announced, pointing in front of him, "from the Screaming Gaffers-ers-ers-ers! The brainy brawler, the crafty cobbler, the sneaky snarkhouse!"
The camera cut to Chase and MK hanging on to the ropes on the left side. "He's clearly talking about you," Chase told his teammate with a sly smile.
"MMMMMMMKKKKKKKKK!" Chris finally announced, the crowd going wild again.
"Why me, though?" MK asked.
"Because you and Millie came last in the football drills," Chris explained to her and the other Gaffers. "Loser, versus loser." He looked over at the writer, who frowned at him. "We're going to build to the top two players."
"Do I at least get gloves?" MK asked, holding up her hands.
A pair of large 'gloves' were immediately placed on them, startling MK. "Are these made of marshmallows?"
"Props," Chris told her, "so you don't hurt those pretty actor faces. And in true boxing movie tradition, you'll be fighting in," the camera zoomed in as he said with exaggerated slowness, "slllooowww moootttionnn."
Millie looked back at her teammates uncertainly as the roar of the crowd began to rise, and MK entered the ring.
The bell rang, and Chris was pulled up and out of the ring by the hanging microphone. A slow fight song began as the two girls approached and began to circle with an awkward sort of caution.
"C'mon, take a swing!" Anne Maria barked from her corner.
"Attack her, MK," Ripper shouted from the opposite side of the ring.
MK rolled her eyes, but complied with an agonizingly slow marshmallow-covered left hook that Millie easily stepped away from.
"Is that the best you can do?" Topher asked.
"We're supposed to do this in slow motion!" Millie tried to explain, looking back at her teammate and opening herself up to a slow right jab from her opponent. The impact was largely inconsequential, however, as MK seemed at a loss as to how she should react other than taking a step back.
"This is the lamest fight I've ever been in," MK muttered dryly before dodging a weak punch from her opponent.
"Just keep going!" Jasmine called from the sidelines. "Show her who's boss!"
"Thank you, Jasmine," MK said sarcastically as she blocked yet another of Millie's slow strikes and struck back with a creeping body blow that sent the writer staggering back in what seemed to be a purposeful manner.
"Keep going!" Justin shouted.
In fact, Millie staggered all the way back to her corner of the ropes. "What do I do?" she asked under her breath. "I've never done anything like this!"
"I don't know. Just punch her in the face or something!" Anne Maria said back.
"This is supposed to be a movie, so maybe you could try distracting her with some speech or something?" Topher suggested.
"In the middle of a fight?" Justin asked in disbelief.
Topher shrugged helplessly. "It's the only thing I can think of!"
“If it'll give us the win,” Millie sighed and stepped back towards MK.
Seconds later, the bell rung again, and the two girls halted their reapproach as Chris descended back into the ring. "Round Two-oo-oo-oo!" he announced as Chef walked across the ring holding a placard above his head with the number 2 on it.
"You got this, MK," Chase told MK as she loitered in the corner, watching Chef as he walked up to her then back across the ring. "Just give it to her hard and fast!"
The music picked up its pace as the two girls approached the center of the ring once again. "You'll never defeat me!" Millie declared at an exaggeratedly slow pace as she and MK circled one another, the AV girl going in for a few slow jabs that the writer easily ducked and dodged. "I fight for truth," she ducked beneath a heavy swing, "and justice," she leaned out of the way of another blow and drew back her own fist.
Millie finally struck out at MK's face, and having been caught off-guard by the slow-motion speech, MK was unable to dodge the slow-moving uppercut. With a sound like an anvil being struck, the short girl fell to the mat, and the host quickly appeared at her side.
"One!" Chris called out, holding up a single finger. "Two! Three!"
Jasmine gasped from the sidelines. "Get up, mate!" she yelled in shock.
"Fourfivesixseveneightnine and ten!" Chris counted off quickly before the fallen techno could recover. "And the winner is-is-is-is," he announced, "Millie, and the Killer Grips!" He held up the author's right arm, and a triumphant boxing theme began to play.
Anne Maria, Justin, and Topher started to cheer. "You both did pretty good with the slow-motion," Chris told the two competitors, "and even though MK did fall first, the deciding factor was technically Millie speech – great job on that by the way, it really sold on the whole 'underdog' aspect."
“Thank you,” Millie smiled proudly as Chris walked away.
MK grunted in frustration as she got back on her feet. "I wanna know what's more humiliating," she muttered. "The loss itself or how it even happened."
"I don't know," Ripper grinned. "I thought they were BOTH funny!"
“Ripper, knock it off,” Jasmine warned him with a glare.
The scene flashed to a close-up of a racquet which quickly zoomed out to show it in Justin's hands as he gave it a few test swings. "Hey," he said, "it's a miniature tennis racquet," the shot zoomed out again to show him standing at the front of the contestants on the sidelines of what looked like a tennis court with the net raised up off the ground, "Where are the miniature tennis balls and how come the net is so stupidly high?"
"This is a badminton court, Justin," Chris told him as he and Chef approached the cast.
"There was never a sports movie about badminton! That'd be seriously lame," Justin said.
"There was a movie about badminton," Chris countered sharply. "It was very un-lame! Thanks for asking, I'd love to recreate my finest scene," he added smugly before the scene flashed to the next one.
"I just want you to know," Chris began dramatically, swinging the racquet around to emphasize his words as an emotional song started playing in the background, "you guys are the best darn badminton players I've had the pleasure of coaching!" The camera panned across the castmates, every one looking bored and unimpressed.
"You're beacons of freedom!" the actor-turned-host continued as Chef walked up behind him with a sad look on his face. "Go show the Olympic Committee we deserve a shot!" The music turned more upbeat and inspirational. "Show them, it's not badminton, it's goodminton! Heck, it's greatminton! Now get out there, and win one for the Flipper!"
The camera focused in on Chef as a tear came to his eye and his lips trembled.
Confessional: Chef
"Why couldn't the Olympic Committee just give the Flipper a break?" Chef Hatchet asked the confessional camera, struggling to contain his tears. "It was his big dream!" He finished with a cry and a snort.
Confessional Ends
Chris adjusted a cap he'd put on, then smiled at the camera as a tense song began to play. "Battling for supremacy in our second round," he announced as the shot pulled back to show the two contestants already on the court and their teammates in the stands behind him, "Anne Maria and Ripper!"
"Sorry Rip," Anne Maria called with confidence from the left side of the court, "but I've got tons of experience with badminton!"
“I'll have to see it to believe it, tan lady!” Ripper smirked at her from the right side of the court.
"Watch the birdie!" Chris called before tossing a small plush bird to Ripper.
He looked at it quizzically for a second, then Anne Maria called out "Time to make feathers fly!"
"You got this, Ripper!" Jasmine cheered from the bleachers.
"Yeah," MK added, "don't let her quips turn you into a baby and you'll be fine!"
“You can bet on it!” Ripper nodded at them confidently, raised his racquet, and tossed the birdie into the air – the camera followed it as it fell back down and was struck when Ripper twirled the racquet down under it. On impact it made a squeaking noise that startled both players, and Anne Maria had to scramble swiftly to intercept it when it passed the net.
She missed her swing, and the birdie squeaked again when it hit the ground. "It's not alive, is it?" Anne Maria asked hesitantly, looking at it with wide eyes.
"It's stuffed," Chris told her as he walked over and picked the birdie up. "With a squeaker?" he tossed it lightly in his hand, making it squeak again. "That okay, hair spray?" Anne Maria nodded, and Chris walked away. "Point to Ripper!"
Once again, Ripper served the birdie quickly and easily, and once again, Anne Maria failed to return it – but by a smaller margin than last time. "Woo! Nice going, dude!" Chase called to his teammate. "Keep this up and we'll be winning this challenge!"
"Don't give up, Anne Maria!" Millie encouraged from the Grips' side of the stands.
Anne Maria grit her teeth in frustration, and Ripper made his third serve. This one was returned, however, and it was Ripper's turn to scramble for an interception. The music picked up as the birdie was followed back and forth, squeaking each time it was hit.
"Come on!" Jasmine cheered from the sidelines. "Show her you're pulling no punches!"
Ripper grinned and started putting more force into his swings, making it harder for Anne Maria to keep up.
Confessional: Anne Maria
"I know I say that I was good at badminton, but that Ripper guy is something else," Anne Maria confessed while filing her nails. "Still, I don't wanna show that I'm all bark and no bite here." The tanned woman stuffed her nail filer into her pouf. "So I'm gonna show off my bite!"
Confessional Ends
The music deepened as a montage of Anne Maria hitting the birdie was shown, including shots of her diving, going between her legs, and even holding the racquet with her hair to return the birdie. It ended when the Jersey girl tossed the racquet up into the air with a twirl and a pose, intercepting a high-flying shot and sending it hurtling back at a shocked Ripper.
It struck the bully square between the eyes and knocked flat on his back. "Sorry, but I play hard!" Anne Maria called from off-screen as cartoon birds similar to the birdie were shown flying around the Ripper's eyes. They flew off when a whistle was blown, and Ripper sat up in a daze.
"We have a winner!" Chris announced, the music turning triumphant as the Grips began to cheer. "Now that's some greatminton!" Chris said as he watched Anne Maria walk up to her team with a grin on her face.
"So whatcha think about that?" Anne Maria asked the other Grips. "I told you that my badminton skills weren't just for show."
"I never doubted you. Not even for a second," Topher admitted. "And even if I did, you'd obviously make me regret it," he added with a nervous tone.
"Uh, what do you mean by that exactly?" Millie wondered with curiosity.
"What he means is that we support each other heavily as boyfriend and girlfriend," Anne Maria smiled as she emphasized.
“Absolutely,” Topher confirmed. “I am still my own man though. It's not like she has me whipped or anything.”
“Strange,” Justin started to say. “I thought your relationship would simply consist of Anne Maria bossing you around and you just accepting it.”
“Are you serious?!” Anne Maria asked in disbelief.
"Hey, just because Anne Maria isn't the nicest person around, doesn't mean that she'd abuse Topher for no reason," Millie defended.
"Yeah, and even if she did, it'd be because I did something wrong," Topher added.
“I've seen a lot of cliche relationships before, so I just assumed you two would be one of them,” Justin said admittedly.
"Oooh, looks like this team's got their work cut out for them!" Chris said as he suddenly popped into the scene. "So don't go away," he added as he dashed over to the ref's chair he'd been sitting on during the match and climbed up it, "there's still more sports-themed fun to come on Total! Drama! Action!"
(Commercial Break)

Went to a local dealership and was quoted 31k pre sales tax for a 2024 Civic sport. My eyes widened to say the least, 31k for a 26k car. The car didn't have the special / extra cost white or grey paint job, just black.
So is this normal? Im going to another dealership tommorow but I want to be more prepared this time.

For about half of 2022, I lived at my grandparents' house. I liked it there; I had family and cousins to rely on. But I was starving—the food they cooked was so bad that I would always order from outside. Eventually, I dreamt of my mom's food, and this led me back to living with her. At first, it was just for a couple of days, but the next time I came, I decided not to go back.
My mother was very cold towards me at first. Sometimes, I would visit her when I was living at my grandparents' home, but she would always start an argument with them, saying how my dad was using me and doing black magic on my soul. Now, my father told me they were crazy people, but eventually, I figured out that some of the things my mom said were true.
My uncle, God rest his soul, died in 2022. My mother had claimed that he was being blackmailed and verbally abused by his wife and her sisters, or as my mother called them, witches. I asked her for proof and found out that what she said was true—my dad's family were verbally abusing him terribly. This convinced me that my father was a blatant liar and that my mother was right.
I'm not gonna lie—living with her was good; I loved it. But when September came, oh my God, the amount of stress. My mother took me to the US embassy for American flight tickets back to America. The embassy told her if she went back with the embassy paying for it, she would owe the government $2,000, which she didn't have. At the same time, my father had arrived in Pakistan, and he wanted to take me to the US embassy.
I was stuck in a shithole. I tried to explain to my mother that maybe I could go with my dad and she wouldn't have to worry about the money she would owe to the government. But all she said was, "If you want to live with your father, fine, but never talk to me again. You're dead to me if you do."
Anyway, after I told my father I couldn't go, he said I was a coward and needed to grow a spine. He said people my age were getting married and having kids (keep in mind I was 15 when he said this). He told me, "Son, I don't know how you're going to do in life if you're this soft." He left again, and I didn't speak with him much after that.
Now, his next visit is in 2024.He was coming back to get married to his new wife. At this time, I was extremely homesick and desperately wanted to go back. My father promised to take me with him, but he also threatened me, saying, "I want you to know something. If you try and fuck me over like your mother, I'll throw you on the streets. I don't give a damn what happens to you after." He gave me multiple threats, but nothing hurt me more than him saying that he was only coming back to get married, not for me, as if I wasn't his top priority.
I really loved and admired him. He grew up in a village in Okara, Pakistan, and worked his way up to get to America. He would say he did all this so I wouldn't grow up the way he did. But now I think that was just a mask he wore, and at that moment, when I was talking with him, he finally let it slip. Then I started to think: when was the last time my dad sent money for child support? I figured out he wasn't paying child support until 2023 when my mother threatened him with legal action.
And before you think my mother is a darling angel, she was extremely abusive to me. In 2023, when I went to get my Pakistani ID card, it turned out my father had already made one and kept it in the USA. My mother's eyes looked at me like she wanted to kill me right then and there. When we got back to the house, she yelled at me for five hours, with her sister glaring at me and her friend—let's call him Bob—saying that I was purposely keeping my mother in Pakistan and that I was a spy working for my dad. She broke my heart that day, but I forgave her like I always do. It's expected in Pakistani culture. I don't really know how to start this, but I'm a 16-year-old male. In 2022, when I was 14, my mother and I went to Pakistan during the summer. During this time, I went to live at my grandfather's house after I had an argument with my mother. I actually didn't want to go back to Pakistan since, during COVID, I had already spent a year there and had just gotten back to the States. It takes time to adjust, but she wouldn't listen. She was extremely aggressive about going to Pakistan—not physically, but mentally.
Anyway, I thought if I went to my grandfather's house, I'd easily go back to America pronto. However, when my father came to pick me up, my mother had stolen my passport and hidden it. She refused to give it back under terms my father would agree upon. My father wouldn't even listen to these terms and left Pakistan, abandoning me.
For about half of 2022, I lived at my grandparents' house. I liked it there; I had family and cousins to rely on. But I was starving—the food they cooked was so bad that I would always order from outside. Eventually, I dreamt of my mom's food, and this led me back to living with her. At first, it was just for a couple of days, but the next time I came, I decided not to go back.
My mother was very cold towards me at first. Sometimes, I would visit her when I was living at my grandparents' home, but she would always start an argument with them, saying how my dad was using me and doing black magic on my soul. Now, my father told me they were crazy people, but eventually, I figured out that some of the things my mom said were true.
My uncle, God rest his soul, died in 2022. My mother had claimed that he was being blackmailed and verbally abused by his wife and her sisters, or as my mother called them, witches. I asked her for proof and found out that what she said was true—my dad's family were verbally abusing him terribly. This convinced me that my father was a blatant liar and that my mother was right.
I'm not gonna lie—living with her was good; I loved it. But when September came, oh my God, the amount of stress. My mother took me to the US embassy for American flight tickets back to America. The embassy told her if she went back with the embassy paying for it, she would owe the government $2,000, which she didn't have. At the same time, my father had arrived in Pakistan, and he wanted to take me to the US embassy.
I was stuck in a shithole. I tried to explain to my mother that maybe I could go with my dad and she wouldn't have to worry about the money she would owe to the government. But all she said was, "If you want to live with your father, fine, but never talk to me again. You're dead to me if you do."
Anyway, after I told my father I couldn't go, he said I was a coward and needed to grow a spine. He said people my age were getting married and having kids (keep in mind I was 15 when he said this). He told me, "Son, I don't know how you're going to do in life if you're this soft." He left again, and I didn't speak with him much after that.
Now, his next visit is in 2024.He was coming back to get married to his new wife. At this time, I was extremely homesick and desperately wanted to go back. My father promised to take me with him, but he also threatened me, saying, "I want you to know something. If you try and fuck me over like your mother, I'll throw you on the streets. I don't give a damn what happens to you after." He gave me multiple threats, but nothing hurt me more than him saying that he was only coming back to get married, not for me, as if I wasn't his top priority.
I really loved and admired him. He grew up in a village in Okara, Pakistan, and worked his way up to get to America. He would say he did all this so I wouldn't grow up the way he did. But now I think that was just a mask he wore, and at that moment, when I was talking with him, he finally let it slip. Then I started to think: when was the last time my dad sent money for child support? I figured out he wasn't paying child support until 2023 when my mother threatened him with legal action.
And before you think my mother is a darling angel, she was extremely abusive to me. In 2023, when I went to get my Pakistani ID card, it turned out my father had already made one and kept it in the USA. My mother's eyes looked at me like she wanted to kill me right then and there. When we got back to the house, she yelled at me for five hours, with her sister glaring at me and her friend—let's call him Bob—saying that I was purposely keeping my mother in Pakistan and that I was a spy working for my dad. She broke my heart that day, but I forgave her like I always do. It's expected in Pakistani culture.
When my mom found out that my dad was getting married, she told me I could no longer meet my cousins. Keep in mind, they were the only people I had to be social with. I can barely speak Urdu, and it doesn't help that I have white skin and dark blonde hair. My mother cut me off from the only social life I had.
When my dad found out I couldn't go to his grandparents' house, he basically said, "Are you ever gonna fight back? You just sit there and do nothing." I then entered a hikikomori state. I would barely leave my room. I would just play video games, jerk off, and watch TV. I lost two years of my high school life because of them stuck in a foreign country not knowing my language.
Now, at the end of June, my darling father wants me to return to the US. But how can I trust him? How can I trust any of them? They all used me. I know it. I can't fight back because they are protected by Pakistani culture. Talking back to my parents is frowned upon. Even the slightest rebellion I would show, they would all say, "What, you think this is America? You obey our rules."
I don't know what to do. I know the only reason my dad wants me back is so he can save face since my mother filed a case against him. I'm lost and stuck in a loop. I'm afraid of women now; I think they're all the same and can't even look one in the eye because of my mother.

Hi all, I (M41) just need to tell someone about this. I don't have anyone near me, and I feel like if I write it all out, then maybe it can clear my head. This will be long, but I am putting it out there because maybe if I get it written, then it will make sense to me.
So, I married my wife (F48), let’s call her May, in March of 2008. We met at a party through a mutual friend. She had graduated from a community college working as a paralegal, and I was finishing grad school for Biomechanical engineering. We hit it off right away, and within a few months, we decided to officially start dating.
May was great. She was pretty, smart, kind, and would give the shirt off her back if that meant that someone else would be warm. She has one sister that is important to this entire thing, I will call her Jane (F43). Jane and May were not very close throughout their childhood, but they became closer as they grew older.
When May and I had dated for a year, there was a conflict with her landlord and she had 30 days to leave her apartment. I obviously did not want her to be homeless, so we decided to move in together. Things were great. One thing I admired is how simple May wanted our life. Things were early, but we were seriously dating. We talked about kids, about moving to a different part of the country, what we wanted in life, and it was like we both checked off all the boxes.
When I finished my graduate degree, I proposed to May and she said yes. At this point, we had been dating for close to four years. Both our families were thrilled, and we ended up having a small wedding, saving most of our funds for the future. My parents paid for half the wedding, I only have one brother who remains unmarried but with a spouse so they wanted us to have an actual wedding. It was really fun, and it was one of the best days in my life.
After our wedding, we decided that we wanted to have kids. Additionally, I got a job with a big company which forced us to move about 14 hours away from where we met. This was very hard on May because she really loved her family, and she was used to having them right there when she needed them. However, we had talked about this prior to getting married, and if the right opportunity presented itself, then we would take it. And this was that opportunity.
So, we moved down to a southern city in the US with a great school district and relatively moderate housing prices. That is why we didn’t have such an extravagant wedding because we put a down payment down on a house. It was weird having a house and this huge job, but May and I took it in stride.
One thing about my work is that I am required to go on business trips. At first, it was for one to two days a week. However, as I progressed my way through the ladder, it soon became five day trips. From Monday morning to Friday evening. I felt bad because I knew it was difficult on May to have her husband away for so long, but I made sure we had constant contact, and when I got back, I wanted to make sure that I gave her all the dedication she deserved. Plus, the pay was really good for this job. I knew that if I could stick it out for a few years, we would have enough money to start looking into having kids.
Well, things changed when May called me multiple times when I was at the airport, getting ready to drive back home after my work week. It was odd because she would typically only call once or twice, but she then texted me frantically telling me that she needed me home asap.
I asked her what was wrong, but she said to get there when I could. I flew out of the airport, and what was typically an hour drive was closer to thirty minutes. My heart was beating so badly out of my chest, and I was worried that something bad had happened.
When I got back home, I flew through the door and it was completely dark. I started screaming for May but it was completely quiet for a few seconds. Until the lights came on and May was holding a cake with a simple plus symbol on it. I looked at her and was confused.
“What is this?” I asked, and then it dawned on me. I asked her if she was pregnant and she said yes. We hugged, cried, and were so happy to finally be parents. We hadn’t been trying but we also wouldn’t mind if we had children.
From then the next four years were an absolute whirlwind. We had three beautiful daughters, each one being about 18 months apart from one another. Things started to become crazy, with having little children and my work continuing to pick up. I tried my best to be attentive and lessen my work load to help care for my children. What I did was make it so my trips were actually in town so I didn’t have to travel. I would start early in the day, helping May wake the kids, getting them ready, and before I would leave, I would ensure that they were packed, ready for preschool, and good to go. I would then come back in the evening, around 600 to have a home cooked meal and spend time with my daughters before bed.
As the years progressed and my daughters got older, my work required me to increase my business trip days, and it was now every week that I was away Monday to Friday night. I would keep in constant contact with my kids, talking to them everyday. On the weekends, I would make sure that we would have either an activity with just the girls and I so May could get a break or all of us so we can have family bonding.
The girls became more independent, and May was thinking of going back to school to get a certification in real estate, but we always held off on the idea until the girls were in their early teens. I encouraged May to go for it, but she also said that it was too much work with the girls, and being a full time mom would make it difficult to get her certification. I didn’t argue with her on it because what she was saying was absolutely true; being a full time mom was incredibly difficult, and maybe when the girls were teenagers or pre-teens, then May could get the certification.
One evening, when the girls were in bed and May and I were in our room, she brought up the idea of moving. I was kind of surprised because I thought we both liked it where we were. Our girls grew up here, they had all their friends, all their interests, and they found this city as home. But May said that she was starting to feel suffocated and that this change would be the chance she could get to get her certification. She said it would be like a renewal. I told her that this would make my travel schedule even longer. Where we were was right near a major airport hub, so traveling was easy. But when I asked her where, she said she already knew where she wanted to be. It was right on the east coast, she said she found this house she liked, and maybe we could tour it on our next vacation to this area, in about two weeks.
I was kind of surprised about how much in depth she already knew where to go and it was apparent she had been thinking about this for awhile. I wanted to agree with her, but my thoughts were about our girls. Would it be fair for them to just suddenly uproot our lives and go to this place where they would have no friends or connections?
Two weeks later, we went on vacation. The girls were enrolled in tennis academy sessions, as all of them were very dedicated and loved the sport. We had some free time and decided to go check out the place that May had looked at. Again, I was hesitant, but when we went to the area, May fell in love. Seeing her so happy made me wonder if moving was the right idea. I mean, we had vacationed at this place twice a year for eight odd years.
May then grabbed my hands and looked at me saying that this was where she wanted to live. I told her that the houses were far out of our price range considering we have three almost pre teen girls that have to get to college, but she said she knew a house that would be right in our budget. It had been on the market for eight months and was heavily discounted. There also was an open house the next day, so we went there, and May just about was head over heels for this house.
And within two months, we had completely uprooted our lives and left. I thought we should have waited until the school year ended, but May was insistent to leave. We had talked to our girls, and they were fine with it. Though my youngest Lilly (F14) seemed to be taking the move really hard. I noticed it first at how quiet she was; she said she was fine with moving, but I could see how difficult it was for her moving to a new school with only a couple weeks left to go.
I sat down and talked with Lilly and she admitted that she said it was fine to move, but she felt like May had forced her to say yes. I told her that what she was telling me wasn’t okay, and that I understand her feelings and will talk to May about it. However, Lilly said to not tell her because it would upset May. Respecting Lilly's wishes, I didn’t tell May, but there was something in my heart telling me that something was wrong.
The school year ended and the girls were enrolled in a full time tennis program within our neighborhood. Everything was right there. We lived in a gated community with a huge tennis center, multiple pools, and right outside was a name grocery store. The girls were in biking vicinity for everything, and it felt like everything was going great.
However, I noticed that Lilly and our middle Daughter Abby (F12) were starting to become more distant from May and I. We assumed it was because they were pre-teens and liked their freedom. May then said that she wanted to get certification, and I told her to go for it and that I would support her. Also, the girls were most independent, plus the classes were in the evening, so May would still be there for our girls when she left (around 7pm) and got back when they were sleeping (around 11pm). I didn’t like the idea of leaving our girls alone for so long, but the area was very safe, and the girls had a neighbor right next door if anything happened.
Things were going well until one weekend, when I was home in the afternoon making lunch, Lilly got back home and didn’t say hi to me. She had tears in her eyes and she went to her room, locking her door.
I was majorly concerned and went to Lilly’s door and knocked on it, asking her what was wrong. But she just told me to leave her alone. I told her that if she wanted anything, she could go to my bedroom.
After a few moments of silence, Lilly unlocked her door and it was apparent she had been crying. She looked around and asked if Mom was there, and I said no, that she was studying at the library (her certification licensing exam was coming up).
Lilly wiped her tears and hugged me just crying. My heart ached and I just hugged her back, not knowing what to do. Only then did I really notice how small she had gotten. Lilly was always a bit bigger in size despite doing lots of activities and eating regular and healthy meals. This summer, I noticed she had lost weight, but now I was seeing just how much weight she had lost. It had me concerned but I wasn’t sure what to say.
I asked Lilly what was wrong but when we released she just shook her head, said thank you, and closed the door. I was absolutely confused, unsure if this was just pre teen emotions or if something was really wrong. My first instinct was to call May and ask her what to do, but I wanted to honor Lilly’s wishes and so I didn’t call May.
However, I soon became curious and went to our garage where there were medical documents sorted away. I went ahead and pulled out Lilly’s annual physical documents and noticed how drastically her weight had gone down. At 12 she was 5’3 and 130 lbs and then at 14 she was 5’4 and 110 lbs. I knew something was really wrong, and something just didn’t feel right.
As I was putting documents away, my mind kept running. I went to the fridge and curiously checked the groceries we had in there. We had groceries, but I noticed that the stuff we had was entirely new. Obviously, with a family of five we had a lot of groceries, but everything was completely new, from the day before. I pushed it out of my mind, but I made a mental note about it.
Over the next few weekends, I noticed that Lilly became more withdrawn and our other girls were acting out more. They were still younger, but the tantrums were almost daily. It wasn’t just tantrums, they were screaming matches and lots of slamming doors and hitting things. This hadn’t happened until recently, and I noticed that Lilly often had to break up the fights and would manage to calm down her sisters better than May or I.
Suddenly, a few months ago, one morning, our youngest, June (F10) , woke up in agonizing pain and we were going to take her to the hospital. But May insisted that she will go with June, and I will stay home with our other two daughters so that when they got up, we could go to the ER and they wouldn’t be panicked.
I helped June to the car, and May drove off hurriedly. I went back indoors before I noticed that May had left her phone. This sounds like a bad movie, doesn’t it?
We had an open phone policy, and I was gonna look away before I saw a notification pop up. It was from her sister.
At first I was going to walk away, but I checked the message and my whole world changed. Her sister had been warning May to stop the affair because if I found out, it would ruin everything. Of course I was confused, what just happened?
Inclined, I scrolled back and looked in horror to see that May was admitting to her sister that she missed being with who we will call Derrick and that he made her feel so much like a woman when they were together. Messages said that she couldn’t wait for her library meetings with him and that she knew it was wrong, but she started to fall in love with him.
Hurriedly, I went out other messages and looked for Derrick, but there was no contact. I looked into a search bar and typed Derrick and low and behold, under a different alias named Jenny, there were nudes, sexting, and plans to meet up almost every evening of the week when I was away on business trips.
I was so disgusted and I didn't know what to do. But logically I needed to ensure I had this contact, so I wrote down the number and information and put the message screen back to her sister.
Suddenly, this life I had thought I was leading was crumbling down. An affair… for how long? Was it just him? Was it sexual? Emotional? Have my girls seen him?
So many questions running through my mind, and behind the anger, I felt blame. If I had spent more time with May, then she wouldn’t have to chase another man.
After twenty minutes, I woke up the girls and we all went to the ER. On the way, I got a call from the hospital asking if I was June’s father and I said yes, and it turned out she had acute appendicitis and was in surgery.
I didn’t relay this to my girls who were already sleepy, and we just rode in silence with my thoughts and this whole thing. I couldn’t be mad at the moment, I had to be there for June.
Thankfully, June was okay and was allowed to go home after three days. I took off from work for the week and spent as much time with my girls as possible. May had her exam coming up and she would say goodbye to me every night at 630. She wanted to kiss me goodbye, but it was always painful when I knew that she kissed “derrick” with those same lips every night.
On Thursday, when she left, Lilly came out of her room and came to my room. She was tired and looked like she had been crying. I asked her what was wrong and she admitted to me that she had seen Derrick before in our house. She said him by name. Lilly had been thinking of telling me for some time but was always so scared. However, she was sick of it. Not just that, oh no there was so much I was missing.
What Lilly said to me was heart aching. She admitted to me that ever since she was five, she had to play mom. May apparently locked herself in her room all day and either slept or ate. There were periods where Lilly wouldn’t see May for up to three days at a time. Food would get so low that Lilly would have to make three to four trips to the grocery store and back on her bike just to get a decent amount of groceries. She had been learning to cook but wasn’t very good at it.
Additionally, she felt like her mom never liked her. She said she had tried to talk to May on various occasions about depression symptoms, but her mom always said that what she was feeling was normal. Then, Lilly said she was worried about her weight to May, and May said that Lilly wasn’t at her “ideal” body weight yet and she needed to continue restricting meals.
Yes. You heard that right. She was telling Lilly to have one meal a day that being lunch. Lilly had tennis for six hours a day, biked close to 10 miles, swam for two hours, and then had to watch over her siblings.
I was sick. I wanted to throw things, I wanted to scream at May, I wanted to divorce her and sue her and everything was so red.
Lilly said she hadn’t told me because she was scared to. And god, everything now was making sense. I told Lilly that this would be last time that May anything like that to her, and that if she wanted, I could put her into counseling to talk about her feelings.
She begged me to not say anything or do anything or else it would ruin the family. She said that she would ruin the family. But I told her that this has gone too far. I told her I loved her and that I would make sure that she couldn’t be hurt anymore. She asked me to promise her, and I did.
It was when May got back that I wanted to tell her that I knew everything, but I decided to wait until the next day when the girls were gone.Well, the day came and when the girls were gone I confronted May about the cheating. She denied it at first, saying that I was being ridiculous and that she would never cheat on me. However, I had prepared for this. I had messaged her sister prior to our discussion and her sister had admitted to me that she couldn’t hide this any longer. I also had her “boyfriend’s number” written down.
When I asked May about the number, she denied it. But when I asked if I could put the phone number in the search bar for her phone, she hesitated greatly before giving her phone to me. I put in the number and the messages came up.
Suddenly, May was crying, begging me to not leave her and that I was everything to her. She would end the affair, that it was only because I was gone so much and she had to take care of the children. I then screamed at her asking her about the days she locked herself in her room. Where the girls had to ask friends for rides to their schools (two of them didn't have buses) because she couldn’t get out of bed.
I asked her why she didn’t get Lilly consoling, why Lilly had to be the mom that she wasn't.
May was crying and said that if I left her, she would take her life. To say I was surprised would be an understatement. May suddenly went to the kitchen and grabbed a large knife, putting it to her throat and threatening to take her life right then and there.
I pleaded for her to put the knife away, but she said she would only do that if I forgave her. She said she would stop the affair and be a better mother, but I had to forgive her to do so.
I said I forgave her and then she cried into my shirt saying thank you.
This was two weeks ago.
Now, I am not sure what to do. I have started looking into divorce attorneys and alternate places to go with my girls. My business schedule is so busy that it will be incredibly difficult for me to get remote work, but I have emailed my boss explaining my situation.
The issue I am having is that all our family is over sixteen hours away. I haven’t told my parents, I haven’t told anyone. Besides Reddit now.
I want to divorce May and take my daughters. I have found a cheap two bedroom condo that is on sale; I sent out an email asking the landlord how much it would be to move in as soon as possible.
I can’t mess with our accounts at the moment or else May will become suspicious. It’s so difficult having to do this because May has reminded me that I forgave her and that we should move on for the sake of the girls.
She apparently broke it off with Derrick but I think she’s with him. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. I hope to update when my boss gets back to me.
Sorry if this was a rant/ramble. I have no one to share this with in real life, and I feel like my world is falling apart. I am home right now taking a few remote days so I can watch over my daughter.
I don’t know what it is like being a single dad; I will have to fight tooth and nail to make sure that I even get my girls. May can easily concoct a story saying that I was abusive and that she should have the girls because I am often away on work and am not willing to co-parent with her.
I don’t know. Thanks for listening.

Planet	Period
Jupiter (Fruitful)	05:31 AM - 06:37 AM
Mars (Aggressive)	06:37 AM - 07:44 AM
Sun (Vigorous)	07:44 AM - 08:51 AM
Venus (Beneficial)	08:51 AM - 09:58 AM
Mercury (Quick)	09:58 AM - 11:05 AM
Moon (Gentle)	11:05 AM - 12:12 PM
Saturn (Sluggish)	12:12 PM - 01:18 PM
Jupiter (Fruitful)	01:18 PM - 02:25 PM
Mars (Aggressive)	02:25 PM - 03:32 PM
Sun (Vigorous)	03:32 PM - 04:39 PM
Venus (Beneficial)	04:39 PM - 05:46 PM
Mercury (Quick)	05:46 PM - 06:53 PM

What is Hora?

Hora Chakra can be used to find suitable timings. Hora, derived from the Sanskrit term अहोरात्र, represents the duration between two sunrises. The concept of Hora is also present in Spanish, where it means time. There are seven distinct Hora, which rotate in a fixed cycle, making up 24 Hora in a day and night. This system helps individuals choose a favorable Muhurta or a period.

The seven Hora are associated with specific activities and gemstones:

1. Sun Hora (Surya Hora): Ideal for political work, court dealings, and government jobs. Most effective on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Good for wearing Manik (ruby) jewel.
2. Venus Hora (Shukra Hora): Recommended for love, romance, and artistic activities. Most effective on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Good for wearing Opal or diamond.
3. Mercury Hora (Budha Hora): Suitable for education, learning, and travel. Most effective on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Good for wearing Panna (emerald) jewel.
4. Moon Hora (Chandra Hora): Appropriate for most activities, especially gardening, food, and feminine work. Most effective on Monday and Thursday. Good for wearing Moti (pearl).
5. Saturn Hora (Shani Hora): Recommended for activities involving oil, lead, glass, and iron, but not for tasks requiring speed. Most effective on Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. Good for wearing Neelam (sapphire) and Gomed (hessonite) jewels.
6. Jupiter Hora (Guru Hora): Suitable for most auspicious activities, financial tasks, and spiritual activities. Most effective on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Good for wearing Pukharaj (yellow sapphire) jewel.
7. Mars Hora (Mangal Hora): Ideal for bravery, sports, and construction work. Most effective on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday. Good for wearing Moonga (red coral) and Lahasuniya (cat's eye) jewels.

Subscribe for daily Hora's (Muhuruta, Panchangam)

I know Im ND, Im diagnosed with ADHD, combined presentation, and have always resonated strongly with the criteria, but I’ve always just had really significant struggles with executive function and general life management and have always chalked it up to really really bad adhd. recently I’ve been thinking more seriously about autism, which I’ve considered for years. I don’t have the resources to seek a diagnosis currently so I wanted to ask here if y’all had any insight on distinguishing between adhd and autism. The biggest thing for me is that I’ve always had friends and have been received well socially. There are certain aspects of social interaction that I struggle with though, so I wanted to ask if these sounded familiar or could be enough for me to self diagnose. It’s really hard for me to tell between the adhd and autism and I just don’t know if my struggles are real enough to truly consider myself autistic from here on out. I’m just gonna list the things that I’ve observed in myself recently as a whole. I’m 21f.

• I restart the same movies and tv shows again after watching them, am currently watching desperate housewives and started it over again immediately after finishing
  
• Go thru phases where I find a really good movie and watch it every day for a week
  
• When my friends are putting on movies I say I prefer one I’ve already seen
  
• Comprehending a new story otherwise feels like a task
  
• I listen to my favorite songs over and over and feel a need to absorb the beat and express it thru movement and do so when I’m alone
  
• I eat the same things a lot and rely on things I know I like to sustain me because it’s otherwise draining and a lot of energy
  
• I’m hypermobile with knocked knees, winged scapulas, low muscle tone, and scoliosis
  
• I’ve had a lifelong habit of touching my ears when they’re cold, I do so constantly and it’s in all my baby pictures
  
• I have a knack for writing and have always been complimented by teachers and professors
  
• Am always picking at the skin around my nails
  
• I’m very reserved and don’t typically speak unless spoken to, have been described as mellow many many times. I just tell them I’m low-energy and it’s hard for me to energize myself and match the energy of super outgoing people
  
• More perceptive people notice this in me and like to ask me why, I find that i just operate on a specific level that certain people really vibe with but some never attempt to understand or get to know me further
  
• Despite this I feel that recently I’ve been much more animated and expressive when I feel my personality is allowed to come out; I am easily excited
  
• People that get to know me usually really like me and my energy and say I’m their most trusted friend/most genuine person they know
  
• I’m conventionally attractive and I smile a lot when meeting new people so I think people feel inclined to be comfortable around me but again some just really don’t vibe with me and I can usually sense that
  
• I’ve become more talkative and less shy in more comfortable settings because I know people find me attractive and it just lessens some level of pressure of me regarding performance
  
• While I’m generally well-liked I’m just also kind of babied by friends/coworkers & seen as fragile or like some sweet little delicate girl or something. I’m very much a people pleaser
  
• It’s hard for me to break into social spaces on my own. It takes me a long time to adapt and learn how to navigate. In both college and high school it’s taken me two years to grow into the space and feel fully comfortable. I had a horrible transition into college and got bad grades my freshman year and made one friend; I’ve joined clubs and things since + found a few friends thru them but it’s generally hard for me to make friends on my own and I put a lot of pressure on myself to do and say the right things. I go to a school w competitive sororities and somehow joined one of the better ones my freshman year but COULD NOT break into that scene, could not care about anything they talked about or pretend like I did, could not form connections or navigate the interaction how everyone else did. I felt naturally shunned but also like I projected the shunning.
  
• I overthink social things so much when there’s pressure to perform well and get really bad anxiety, get really shy when I feel out of place. When I have others I know and am close with to accompany me I feel fine but by myself it’s a nightmare. I feel flustered and kind of shut down socially when I have to walk into a new and busy space where I’m expected to socialize by myself and have nothing to rely on or go off of. Like a career fair where I need to perform for the sake of my future, a sorority gathering, or summer program where I’d naturally want to make friends. Though I’m very unathletic, I did easier sports for me like crew and tennis in middle and high school, and in middle school with crew, was completely unable to make friends or connections or talk to anyone meaningfully and I still don’t know why. I just don’t know how to intuitively navigate.
  
• I have trouble knowing how to hold myself or my body weight in conversation and feel awkward standing sometimes. I notice this at my job the most, when I’m standing in someone else’s office while they’re sitting down; I don’t know how to hold my hands or where to put them, which leg to lean on and I’m thinking of it constantly.
  
• I do this thing in conversation where if I’m smiling when I don’t want to be, I’ll immediately drop it into a dead stare once the other person turns around. And I know it’s weird and would be embarrassing if observed but it just feels like immediate relief
  
• When I have to consistently navigate a convo that doesn’t feel natural, my body language also feels unnatural and I don’t know what to do with myself and I feel kind of trapped
  
• I plan all my texts in my notes app if I really care about the person or don’t know them well or just feel pressure. My notes app is filled with random drafts of texts that are ultimately meaningless and momentary
  
• I mess up in conversation sometimes and have a hard time answering basic small talk questions, about myself or literally anything. I always respond with the most logical thing or what seems most present to me in my mind, the first thought, not the most socially acceptable thing. I always end up veering off and including something that just didn’t need to be said. Something telling or embarrassing.
  
• I interpret things wrong sometimes or take jokes too seriously. I get humor a lot of the time but a few key moments stand out where I can’t believe I didn’t get the joke.
  
• Instructions are very hard for me. My current role’s expectation is to be intuitive and anticipate needs and I just get it wrong sometimes. I’ve always known that I need very clear instructions. Writing emails is difficult for me, I don’t know the proper punctuation or tone.
  
• Eye contact is not always something I think about but I feel I’m aware of it more often than others. it’s hard for me to know when to break away contact or how long is too long to look at someone’s eyes when speaking one on one, if I start to think about it. If I feel comfortable with them I’m not sure i always notice.
  
• I had my first kiss at 17 and it went soooo terribly oh my god… I didn’t know what to do so I just shut down and stated off into space bc I physically couldn’t attempt to kiss him back even tho I wanted to. I just couldn’t move my lips. I ended up dated this person and was fine from there on out, but it happened again with the second person I kissed, who told me he’d “never met someone who just couldn’t kiss”. We ended up dating and it was very enjoyable for us both there on out lmao. It’s like I never know what to do intuitively and get really scared but can always learn to navigate.
  
• I definitely have meltdowns and always have, have always been the “black sheep” of the family and known for my tempedisagreeable nature
  
• very emotional and reactive to things, but when my grandma died and parents divorced I told myself I didn’t feel anything
  
• Infodump about my interests, specifically anthropology
  
• Sort everything into an anthropological perspective
  

I am so sorry for how long this was!!!

I feel like my whole life has kind of felt like a blur. Growing up I was really outgoing, I was a bit shy as a kid I guess around new people like anyone is, but I was normal and I loved meeting new people. I was a big extrovert as a kid and I loved talking and hanging out with people. I played a lot of sports like soccer and football mainly. I was a pretty popular kid as well growing up, I was friends with everyone in the school and I could confidently walk up to literally anyone I wanted to in middle school and talk to them and have a blast, because I was outgoing and fun, from what it seemed like, people loved to be around me because I was fun and was the class clown. This changed tho, pretty drastically. In middle school I did go through some hard personal times, had a lot of conflicts with my step dad, and I overall really started to decline from there ( grade 8 ). Some things I cant say due to rules and stuff but I got into doing some bad things, nothing like BAD bad but things I shouldnt do at that age and it hurt my family for a little bit. I was just a curious kid and was trying new things and I dont regret it because I learned from it, and it changed me for the better, but I think this still marked a big changing point in my life. Later down the road, around freshman year life was pretty good, I had some good friends and we would always hang out and goof around get into trouble but it was so fun. Me and my friend would mess around during class but we would be respectful about it and the teachers would even laugh they actually liked us a lot we would fist bump and had hand shakes and stuff it was really cool, one of the teachers would even play some of our favorite songs during the beginning of class. So life seems pretty great so far and it was, I had a great family (step dad questionable but he got a lot better with time) and a great school life so far. My close friend, the one id always goof around with moved tho during sophmore year, and ever since then it broke up the friend group really bad, and i didnt realize at the time but I really depended on him, and honestly I kind of lost myself after that. I stopped talking to people, obviously if they came up to me I would say hi and stuff but I never started conversation unless necessary. I instantly turned into the quiet kid no one talked to, in what felt like a flip of a switch. I started to struggle in school, I started to lose motivation and a will to want to try any more in my classes as I didnt enjoy school anymore. I only had a push to go because I had fun BECAUSE i got to see my friends, but ever since the friend group broke up, I lost my motivation, which in turn made my grades plummet. Ok so big deal, just lock in and get my grades up right? well no sadly, it wasnt that easy, I was struggling really bad, contimplating some bad things and although never went through with anything, I convinced my mom to let me go to online school.I switched to online school around the end of junior year in high school, I know a weird time but we were able to transfer grades over and it worked out. Life was a lot easier after this, I was able to stay home, avoid social interaction, and be at peace. I could do my schoolwork when I wanted to, i could plan my own schedule and it was really amazing. I pretty much played games all day as school was never really challenging itself, but the motivation and drive was the hard part, and if I had no push, then what was the point to care? My parents believed I was a gifted kid and have always told me that, even told my siblings that I am the smartest to there face which I always thought was very disrespectful, however I guess with time they started to agree, which was sad to see, almost like disappointment from them, but all I could do was thank them and try to be my best self. My classes senior year were incredibly boring, and this led to more feelings of hopelessness and so on, having no drive ruins me and makes me act in bad ways for myself and my well being. Some bad decisions were almost made and although they never were, they only escalate further later in life. I eventually graduate! I didnt even think I would make it to graduation but I did with a 4.0. 2 years in a row. My family was proud and I was happy I was able to make them proud and happy. But its interesting, because I never felt like I was living for myself, if that makes sense. I always felt like my purpose was to please my family, when in reality thats not what someones life should be about, it should be about living and hanging out and dating and making friends and going places, living life should be fun and amazing and crazy, but I never had that. My life was fun and I had a pretty normal kid life up until freshman/sophmore year ish. Although I know how life should be, and how fun it can be, and how amazing and beautiful it can be, It isnt for me, but thats okay. Im 20 now as the title describes, Ive never been on a date with anyone, I barely go out places, Im too scared of social interaction and I get nervous even thinking about going shopping that 90% of the time I order food which is too expensive and I feel guilty everytime I do it, but its not like guilt will stop me, its disgusting how much of an idiot I feel like. My mom is worried about me, she really wants me to meet people and talk to people my age. She wants me to take in person classes and interact with people because she says I need it. And yes I can agree I do need it, but I dont want it. I want to be alone, I want to be by myself where Im comfortable, not around anyone while im feeling anxious about every little thing that could go wrong and how im gonna make a fool of myself and so on. I beleive I have like agoraphobia or something like that im not really sure its just a good idea. My moms a therapist and she's very smart and knows a lot about this stuff and she brought that up as a possibility, but obviously she cant say if i am or not because im family. Every single day, I wake up, hop on my computer, play games, and do homework, for classes I dont even care about, but I have to do because a degree is necessary in my family, and I need to make them happy or else i will be hated forever or something idk! I am so tired. I want a break, I want to just stop and be frozen for a while, and just breathe, But i dont feel as though I can anymore, its hard. Im so scared of social interaction, the amount of opportunities ive thrown away due to it is literally uncountable and it makes me feel so worthless. I think theres a lot wrong with me, everyday I feel like I notice more and more and it sucks. I could have issues with my nervous system as my mom did, or I could have something else. For example I feel like somethings crawlign around my skin all the time randomly in different spots anywhere, usually legs arms or back but anywhere. It feels so bad because I cant concentrate on anything im doing, its like almost a really intense itch but not really, its like if an ant is crawling on your body but worse idk how to explain it. Not even showers help it, even if i get in the shower I get even more itchy, it doesnt even make sense. And I feel like im really paranoid a lot, i could just be walking around my house and i feel like someones near me or stuff like that. I feel like i see things out of the corner of my eye a lot and maybe this is what causes me to be more on edge which could be leading to me feeling paranoid but i dont think so? I dont really understand my own emotions it just sucks. Im not living life like how others are, im not living life like how I should, im not living life at all, im just existing. I dont feel as though I am using my time wisely, but whats there to do with no motivation? I dont know why im writing this, and I dont think anyone will even read past the first couple sentances, if that, but if on the off chance some random soul decides to read this, im sorry but thanks you for your time. I hope everyone has a good life and lives like how you should. Dont be like me, dont be scared of what other people think and have them dictate your life. Love yourself.

I generally follow sports without a favorite team, so I tend to gravitate towards general storylines and individual players to guide my interest. My favorite players headed into this season were Kelsey Plum, Sabrina Ionescu, and Elena Delle Donne, but the early results from watching more Sky games this season has me loving Mabrey's game. She gets buckets and I love the emotion and swagger she plays with. She's also from the same state as me so it's a no brainer to add her to the list of players I fuxx with more than others ;p Also been noticing myself keying in on DiJonai Carrington during the couple Sun games I've seen.
Who's newly catching your eye during the early innings of this season?? 👁️

"Cancer, as known to the State of California, is this bag of roasted peanuts." Is what she said.
I wasn't paying attention anymore. I was staring instead at the goat.
I think that goat was actually Fred, and we just didn't know it yet.
We were still on our little detour when it started getting dark across the desert, rather quickly.
"I don't want to drive back in the dark. Let's stay in San Piana." Gloria had said.
That's when what appeared to be the same goat crossed our path.
I had to slam on the brakes, a cloud of road dust flowing over our vehicle and hovering over the road before us.
"I think that's the same goat." I said. I looked and saw it was atop someone's roof, staring down on us with red glowing eyes. I felt nervous while it looked at us, it's blackening silhouette against the evening sky looked sinister.
"Ew, I hate goats." Gloria got out her phone. "We have no reception out here."
I checked my phone - she was right.
"Let's find a place to stay for the night, then." I told her. We left our car parked in the middle of the dirt road leading into the village and took our bags to the nearest shack.
I banged on the door. A little old lady opened the door, with half her face looking like it would just fall off her skull at any moment. "Excuse me. We are travelling on our way to my sister's wedding, and we decided to drive this rental car. Now we are stuck here for the night, because the road back to civilization from this little detour is too dark and treacherous to drive back at night. So, we need to stay here tonight."
She said nothing, but reluctantly shuffled out of our way as we brought in our bags and made ourselves at home. I looked around at the little hovel, and despite looking like a primitive shack from the outside it was rather clean and tidy inside. "Not too bad. I thought it would be filthy in here."
"No vacancy." The old woman grumbled.
"Yes, of course. We have this little bed and breakfast exclusive to ourselves." I smiled, sat back in her rocking chair and put my dusty boots on the coffee table. The little old lady remained stoic, but I could tell she wasn't used to civilized folk. We took over the bedroom and left her on the couch, whining rather unprofessionally about her arthritis.
In the morning the lazy stiff had gone cold, forcing us to make our own breakfast. While we were eating, the village's chief showed up. He was wearing a brown button up shirt with a logo on it that vaguely looked like a county sheriff at a glance.
"Mrs. Summers has expired?" He noted the little old lady was still wrapped in an Afghan on her couch.
"Yeah, could you help me with that? She smells gross." I went to one end of the couch and indicated that I needed his help. He reluctantly assisted me while we took her and the whole couch outside and left her on the porch.
"Now I'll have to wait here with her until they can come get her. We have wild animals around here." Thoman sat, looking sad.
"Why the long face?" I asked.
"I just, it's sad she's gone. I've known Mrs. Summers since I was little. How'd she die?" He wondered.
I shrugged. "She was old?"
My wife brought out our bags, glaring at me for not helping.
"Well, we'll leave a nice review." I patted his shoulder and then left him there.
We tried to drive out of San Piana, but as we turned around, we couldn't quite find the road that led back the way we had come. We circled around for awhile while the villagers came out to see what we were doing. We waved as we drove past them and finally I stopped and asked how to get out of town.
They all pointed in eerie unison, with weird blank looks on their faces. I was feeling a little bit creeped out by them.
I was about to roll up my window, but never did.
As we were about to go, the goat came running at me from nowhere and ran its horns into the driver's tire. I never would have believed a goat could puncture rubber with its horns and tear it open like that. The whole car was being lifted on the impale, the goat bleating angrily.
When it was done it trotted away like nothing had just happened. Suddenly the airbags deployed.
"Help!" We were shouting for help. The villagers just stood there, staring at us.
"You are chosen by Azazel. You shall carry our sins, and the rotten soul of Mrs. Summers with you, out into the desert." Thoman was suddenly at my driver's side window like a jump scare. I was so surprised I gave him a high-pitched bark and almost slapped him. After the goat attack my nerves were shot.
"Your goat did that! You'll pay for the damage!" I proclaimed.
"All in good time." Thoman said with certainty.
I got out of the car, my knees wobbling from the scares. "What sort of place you running here? I want to see the manager!" I shoved Thoman and yelled.
"You will see Him." Thoman's eye's looked like goats' eyes when he said: 'Him'. I felt a chill, despite the warm desert sun.
I got back into the car and said to Gloria. "There's something wrong with this place."
She said nothing and I looked to her seat, empty. "Gloria?"
I got back out and looked around for her, seeing that the streets were now empty. Everyone had gone back inside their shacks. Gloria was nowhere in sight. I began walking around, banging on doors, looking in windows and searching for her, demanding to be told where she was. The villagers all played dumb, shrugging and acting like they didn't know any English.
As the minutes began to add up and I couldn't find her, a cold sweaty panic burst out of me. For about an hour I just ran around the place, looking desperately for her. When it got hot out and I was exhausted, I found myself sitting on the front porch of Mrs. Summers.
Thoman came walking up. "There you are. I had to come find you, see if I can help."
"Where's Gloria?" I asked, exhausted.
"I'm sure she's around somewhere." Thoman lit a smoke and looked at the empty couch. "Looks like Mrs. Summers has gone missing."
I looked and saw her corpse was removed, leaving only her shroud and some suspicious pawprints, like a team of oversized coyotes had dragged her away when nobody was looking. I shrugged.
"Gloria is missing." I pointed out. Thoman nodded as he realized I couldn't care less about the local wildlife problems.
"People go missing sometimes. They always get found sooner or later." Thoman said, somehow mirroring my attitude about the missing old woman, but regarding Gloria. I started feeling hostile towards him.
"Do you know where she is?" I stood up, trembling and sweating.
"Of course, but it won't do you no good. She can't be found if she doesn't want it." Thoman blew smoke at me, dropped his smoke and crushed it underfoot until it was a mess of tobacco, ashes, paper and the filter. "Still there."
He dusted his hands off on his jeans and walked away, leaving me there looking at the whisp of smoke hovering ephemerally over the ruined cigarette. I heard coyotes howling in the distant hills in the middle of the day, I heard wind chimes making discordant sounds, I heard the bleating of the goat sound like laughter and then the cackling of the old woman who I knew was dead.
I sat, and from my feet a numbness of fear began to climb up my legs like tarantulas. My skin was like braille, and my sweat ran in rivulets into stains darkening on my clothes. My eyes stared, listening to the desert while it spoke the name of its lord. I was afraid, I knew I was against something that wanted to eat me, somehow.
"Where are you?" I asked Gloria, my voice a dry cracking sound. I went into the old woman's shack and poured some of the iced tea she had made at some point before she died. It tasted like tomatoes with a hint of almonds and made me feel sleepy. While I walked to the couch, I dropped the glass and fell over.
Darkness made me blink, my eyes darting around for any source of light. All around me, in the midnight desert, candles stood upon cooled-melted stands made of old wax - atop human skulls. I was tied naked to a cactus, my body seemed to be covered in writing done in ketchup.
There was a humming sound of many human voices, not an unpleasant sound, except in the circumstances it frightened me to know I was surrounded by people humming in unison. Gloria was standing at one end of the triangle, holding a Nosegay Bouquet like it was some kind of offering towards the darkness. She wore nothing but an open hooded robe of shimmering crimson and scarlet.
I always find my wife exciting, so despite her betrayal, I still think she looked hot as a Satanic priestess. I'm pretty lucky.
The third corner of the triangle was an old woman wearing the skin of an oversized coyote, and also slippers made of coyote feet. She howled dramatically and her voice was answered by a disembodied growling from all around us.
I peed myself in terror, glad I wore nothing to absorb it. Instead, it just ran down my leg and collected under my left foot. I wanted to scream, but I felt weak and frightened, unable to do more than whimper pathetically in mortal dread. Gloria looked at my mess and smiled weirdly at me.
"Azazel, take from our community our sins, take our sins to the desert. Leave us another six years of peace. We offer you the slaughter of the scapegoat. Lord of the wilderness, accept our humble sacrifice." The gathered creeps were saying their prayer slowly in unison. They repeated it word-for-word again and again, long into the night.
Something was coming closer, something was coming. All around us desert creatures hopped and leapt and swooped, chittering, yipping, barking and hooting. Thousands of beetles, centipedes, tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, mice and crickets swarmed everywhere except the hot wax and flames of the candles. I cried and shivered, moaning in horror as the creatures crawled all over me.
The glowing eyes, a shade of golden brown, loomed from the darkness. As the shape of the entity formed in my mind around the darkness it was cloaked in, sleep overwhelmed me. I straight up fainted at the sight of Azazel.
The early dawn found me in the back of our rental car, driving on a spare. Gloria was driving, getting us to her sister's wedding on-time. "Why?" I choked out a word.
"I wouldn't bother, but his business is in jeopardy. When we cross the border into that state, we are in the territory of one of the most corrupt governments on the planet. Technically, California is part of the United States in name only. Everyone knows their government is run entirely by criminals. The new laws will eliminate her new husband's franchises. They'll lose everything and have to live with us. I hate my sister, you know that." Gloria enlightened me to her insane political opinion and family drama, without answering my question.
"You're telling me all that was about burgers and ketchup?" I wheezed, needing a drink.
"With this -" Gloria held up the bridal bouquet "My lord will bless their union. She cannot be made poor by the dealings of other devils. They are all on the same team, you know."
"Team McDonald?" I asked.
"Team Humanity. They just want what's best for us." Gloria explained.
"Demons want what's best for us?" I tried not to sound too incredulous.
"No. You are missing the point. Humans make the sins, they just feed. They are fair, if you ask them for a favor. They'll take care of you."
"Like getting someone elected?" I guessed.
"Yes. Exactly." Gloria agreed. I stared out at the scenery of Angel's Crest National Monument as we drove.
We arrived at the wedding and I kept thinking about how good Gloria looked as some kind of Satanist last night. I requested we spend some married couple time together and she considered it, but said we had no time for such things. She promised we'd spend some quality time together after the wedding, provided I play for her team.
"I can't promise anything." I said honestly to her. For whatever faults I have, I do insist on being honest with my spouse.
We parked in the alley and got ourselves ready to go into the wedding, still looking like we were out all night, despite twenty minutes of details.
"We need to get going." Gloria urged me. I was still fiddling with my tie in the passenger's mirror, since the driver's side one had a crack in it already. I kept reminding myself how this car was a rental, as the thought was easily slipping my mind under the stress I was feeling.
I hate weddings.
We went in and the place was simultaneously too loud with all the murmuring and too quiet with all the whispering. I kept hearing words of profanity and would look up to see if any of the holy statues were reacting. No weeping or bleeding.
It really freaks me out when statues cry and bleed and have flesh underneath when they get damaged. I'm pretty sure there are actual religious orders where they entomb their saints alive, after eating a diet of herbs meant to sedate and preserve the corpse sealed inside. Not too freaky, but I am just one person being judgmental, aren't I? I realize I am sorta disrespecting their whole culture in a way, and that's not how I mean for it to sound. It's just not for me - I get scared - that's all you need to know.
The blurry way the statues looked had me standing in front of the bride's aisle while everyone was wondering what I was looking at with that look on my face. I'd provided the distraction Gloria needed to ensure absolutely nobody except her saw her make the switch of the bouquets. She had an exact copy of her sister's bouquet, unironically.
Out behind the church we met and she had started a small fire in a coffee tin with holes around the bottom rim. She closed the knife she'd used and used the longneck lighter to get a couple candles going on the side.
"Hurry, someone might see us." I said as loudly as I dared, half hoping someone would hear me and look around the corner. I couldn't help it, part of me was against whatever we were doing. I still felt nervous, nervous we'd get caught or that we'd get away with it. My anxiety had me holding my hands like I was warming them to the fire.
"And white goes softly into flames, and black comes the smoke, pure and thick." Gloria dropped the blessed flowers into the flames.
"Uh, amen." I coughed.
"Let's go watch her get married." Gloria growled.
We went in and there was a wedding that happened while we were in our seats.
While most people were on their phones, texting or whatever they were doing, others actually watched the wedding.
I looked around and saw how some people were observing the ceremony. I too was looking at it, but trying not to. I knew I was seeing something there that they weren't, and it was pretty scary because I knew it was real. Therefore, it was invisible to all of them except me.
I leaned over to my wife and asked her: "Who is the goat up there with them?"
"That's Fred, she's like a bridesmaid." Gloria whispered back.
"Fred is a girl goat?" I asked.
"I can arrange for you to have visits from Fred, Sweetea, if that's something you're into." Gloria teased me weirdly, but I didn't really find it that amusing, just creepy. The last thing I wanted was to be haunted by an invisible goat-demon.
"Ew, no thanks." I said.
When the bouquet was tossed, Gloria caught it. She'd run in, shoving all the maidens like a quarterback. Some of them had fallen and gotten serious scrapes and bruises. Her sister yelled at her, but Gloria just looked at me and we took off around the corner and went for our car.
"Why aren't we leaving?" I asked.
"This has to be under her bed on her wedding night. My sister is a virgin, she has to be given to her new husband first." Gloria waved the bouquet in front of me, gripping it the same way she had gripped her foldable dagger earlier when she'd cut the coffee can.
"I have a feeling you mean Azazel." I gulped, realizing I couldn't go that far with her. I had to find a way to stop this.
"What's that?" Gloria asked me sharply.
"I'd best dealing be with Azazel?" I tried to change what I'd said, botching it horribly.
"No, you said something else." My wife said firmly, and frowning. I had a feeling my bed had just gone cold, and it scared me as much as the devils, because as I mentioned, Gloria is what's best in my life.
"I don't like this." I admitted. I also mentioned I really don't lie to her.
"She won't know the difference." Gloria smiled a little bit, a kind of evil villain-styled smile. I found it too sexy.
"Either way, it's wrong. I'm not sure exactly how, but it seems super perverted and evil and I won't allow it." I proclaimed.
Gloria slammed on the breaks and flicked out her knife and held it to my throat. "Get out."
I was left standing by the side of the road with my bags as she sped away, driving to some unknown honeymoon destination to put some cursed flowers under her sister's bed to summon some kind of husband demon for her wedding night. I'm pretty sure I had to stop this from happening.
"You still fighting the good fight?" Ronald McDonald stepped out from where he was waiting to catch a bus.
"I love my wife to death, but she is trying too hard to ruin her sister's wedding." I sat on my bags, feeling tired and my eyes watering.
"Don't cry." Ronald McDonald told me. "You got to man up right now. This is your chance to set things right."
I sniffled and tried to smile for Ronald McDonald. He smiled back and we shared a moment on that desolate highway.
"I've got something for you." He told me. He handed me a toy from a happy meal I'd gotten as a kid, the Muppet Baby Fozzie. I assembled his armor and put him on horseback. When I looked up, Ronald McDonald had caught the bus and was waving goodbye to me.
That's when the tears started. I knew I had to step up and stop her. I wiped 'em on my handkerchief and got my phone out of my pocket. I used the app we had to find where she was, after figuring out how to use the darn thing.
Then I used another app to summon a professional getaway driver named Breeze. She arrived in less than four minutes, the sound of her engine in earshot for the whole last minute as she took the three miles of road between us with fury. We said nothing to each other. I showed her the destination and the review I'd already written and nine one-hundred-dollar bills and she gave me a hand signal I guess meant we were in business. We caught up to Gloria and then I found the only likely honeymoon spot, a desert view bed and breakfast, of course.
We got ahead of Gloria and Breeze accepted her payment and vanished into thin air, leaving only burning tire tracks in her wake. I reached into the newlyweds open car and released the parking brake. With a muscle-pulling, ankle-twisting, hernia-inducing, disk-slipping effort I got the darn car moving, with the toy in my pocket making me pretend I could do this. I got their vehicle into the ditch, out of sight.
I went into the bed and breakfast and checked the guest registry. I was sweating and my suit was coming loose all over. I was limping and groaning, although I wasn't feeling what I'd done to myself yet. I looked at the names. They were here.
With the page torn out I started a new entry for the weekend and made up a couple fake names before the owner found me there.
"Uh, sorry." I said. I set the toy on the counter and fled.
I watched from the bushes while Gloria went in. See, I find simple plans without a lot of moving parts work best in any situation. Gloria found no evidence she'd come to the right place. The owner was already freaking out and gave her a stern goodbye.
Gloria tried to call her sister but got nothing. As she drove away my terrified state began to subside. I collapsed in the bushes, sleeping with a butterfly on my eyelash keeping me company.
"You did this." Gloria was saying. I was in the back seat of the rental again. She was smoking, and she'd smoked enough that the little strip had turned yellow, indicating we would be charged a cleaning fee for the damages. There was no ashtray, so she was just putting them out on the dashboard, leaving little burns and ash everywhere.
Her phone chimed and I saw she was chatting with one of her old boyfriends. She made sure I saw this. I rolled my eyes. It's not like we'd spent twenty years married. Her interrogation techniques needed improvement, especially since she would know - I don't lie to her. I'd never seen her smoke, not that I could remember, not for a long time.
I was under a lot of stress, but as I thought about it, she was smoking the whole trip.
My mind played a weird montage of all her light-ups. I felt like it needed a theme, so I hummed the theme to that show we were just watching. Then I looked at her and stopped humming, humming that cue for the other person who hums to hum along, you know what I mean. There should be a word for that kind of cue, probably is, but I'm not fluent in music vocabulary.
She didn't get it, but instead got mean and lifted her hand like she wanted me to stop humming because it was annoying or something. I stopped.
"You're not even Gloria." I complained.
"Took you long enough." The creature grinned.
My mind went wild with terror, as I realized she was some kind of horrible demon disguised as Gloria. She handed me the toy from McDonald's and it started to melt, becoming warped and evil looking. Her laugh sounded like a stretched audio recording of a laugh, all distorted and demonic, exactly like the best horror movie foley artists make it sound, and making me pee from my frozen spine bone and dry eye sockets staring till my eyes hurt.
Demonic laughter is unforgettable, a kind of maddening sensation, like something is being ripped out of you suddenly, a painful disorientation that you never quite stop feeling dizzy from. Its an ache, an unhealing wound of the psyche, always oozing and causing me some kind of misery. It lives there, like a tiny flea, too small to squish or catch, in its hole, in my mind.
Weirdly enough, the horrible little toy it gave me contains it, and that is why it must never be touched, for although it is a burnt figurine, it imprisons a part of the wilderness of souls.
I held it there, and looked up at the not Gloria. She looked just as relieved and bewildered as I felt. She was Gloria again, I could tell it was her.
"Where is it?" She asked me.
I held up the toy, having already dropped it into the burnt coffee tin to contain the prison for the sound that the demon had become when I'd listened to it, pretending to be my wife, therefore listening to my wife also.
"How's that work?" Gloria asked me, sobbing. She wanted reassurance it wasn't going to take control of her ever again.
"Well, we are in this together for better or worse." I figured I'd say.
"We weren't helping it. It already got me, using my hate for her against me. Remember when we got the wedding invite?"
"I thought it was weird there was a goat with glowing red eyes drawn on that." I pointed out.
"I never really wanted to hurt her." Gloria felt awful. I hugged her close and kissed her forehead.
"I'm the one who got hurt." I reminded her.
We went over all the things like cactus and such that I'd suffered, dehydration, scares, murder and mayhem, dagger stabbings, cannibalism, arson and demons. It was agreed I was the hero in all this, and I finally got some ketchup on Satan's burger.
It was delicious.

Great discounts and excellent feedback history so buy with confidence. Combined multiple posts into one here with a bunch of price drops. Ship to lower 48 (open to shipping internationally and to AK & HI, please ask). Paypal friends & family preferred or add 3% for Paypal goods & services fee. Just let me know which items you’d like and I’ll check the least expensive UPS and USPS tracked shipping (nothing earned on shipping). Thanks for looking!
**\* SHELTERS **\*
1) Liteway Pyraomm Duo Tarp 2P Pyramid, Stealth Olive (just like MLD Duomid) + Liteway Pyraomm Mesh Half Inner, New (set up only once), $339 (Regularly $475 = Tarp $281 + Inner $194. Equivalent to MLD Duomid Tarp and Solomid XL mesh inner which sell for $470 = $290 + $180). Photos: https://imgur.com/a/Tq5mtRP - Extremely well-made pyramid shelter and generous half mesh inner - use the tarp alone, or the mesh alone on nice nights for stargazing, or both together for an ultralight double wall shelter. Fantastic bomber solo shelter, and the tarp works for two, but I’m always going on trips with my partner and we use a wider inner. Sheds wind far better than double trekking pole shelters. https://liteway.equipment/pyraomm-duo/pyraomm-duo-tarp https://liteway.equipment/pyraomm-duo-half-mesh
2) Hennessy Hammock 4 Season Expedition with XXL Snake Skins, New, $235 (regularly $309.90 = $289.95 + $19.95 for the XXL Snakeskins). Photos: https://imgur.com/a/LZN8HI8 Not only is the HH Expedition one of the best, most comfortable and durable 4 season hammocks you can get, it’s also popular for summer use in areas of high bug pressure as the double bottom is impervious to the worst mosquitoes (mosquitoes can bite through single layer hammocks). Many militaries rely on HH hammocks for good reason. Comes with attached mosquito netting, detachable Hex rain fly, support ropes, compression sack with set up instructions on back, complimentary standard 42" / 107 cm long "Tree Hugger" webbing straps to protect tree bark, and an oversized open-cell foam pad. HH asymmetrical design is very comfortable compared to more classic hammock designs.
*** PACKS **\*
3) Hanchor Marl Large Backpack, 19-21 in. Torso, New, $239 (regularly $250 + $20 international shipping. Blows away Hyperlite Mountain Gear packs) - Top backpacking guide and author Andrew Skurka has praised the Hanchor Marl for its excellent construction, strong waterproof materials and light weight and has carried one on many trips. The Hanchor Marl blows away similar volume HMG packs for carrying capability, comfort and construction (incredible stitching), and at a much better price. Aluminum stays can also be shaped to exactly fit the curve of your back. The load lifters work great to keep weight off your shoulders. Bright interior makes it easy to find gear. Convenient hip pockets with waterproof zips. Clean, simple design is a pleasure to use, with everything you need and nothing you don’t. Large size typically fits 19-21 in. torsos (removable aluminum stays are 23.5 in long). Photos: https://imgur.com/a/fxTthYj
4) Ultimate Direction Fastpackher 30L, M/L, New, $129 (regularly $179.95 + tax) - Women's version of the above. Size goes by measurement around the widest part of the chest, the range is 36 in. to 48 in. and the pack is highly adjustable so you can dial it right in. The women's backpanel is only 1/2 in. narrower than the men's, so will fit men too. Just go to this link and click on "Sizing": https://ultimatedirection.com/fastpackher-30-2-0/ Photos: https://imgur.com/a/ZfY5IB4
*** WATERPROOF BREATHABLE PANTS **\*
5) Men’s Mammut Waterproof Breathable Stretch Schoeller Pants for winter hiking, skiing, snowshoeing, climbing and mountaineering, Men’s 34-38 waist, never worn, $149 shipped (sold for $349 + tax) - Mammut makes some of the best outdoor pants in the world, with a fantastic cut that really moves with you. These Men’s Mammut Castor pants have the stretch comfort and toughness of a soft shell with the waterproof breathable membrane of a hardshell, and built-in internal gaiters and reinforced wear areas. They are great for winter hiking, snowshoeing, climbing, mountaineering and skiing. Two zipped front pockets, one zipped rear pocket, zipped mesh thigh vents, belt loops, snap zip fly, mesh lining, reinforced cuffs to protect against metal-edge skis, crampons and snowshoes, internal gaiters to stop snow from getting in your boots, zippered ankle openings with velcro closures. Absolutely bullet-proof pants. Fits Men’s waist 34-38 in. thanks to awesome stretch in the Schoeller stretch fabric. https://www.trailspace.com/geamammut/castor-pants/ Photos: https://imgur.com/a/YjKvQVK
6) Women’s Mammut Waterproof Breathable Stretch Schoeller Pants for winter hiking, skiing, snowshoeing, climbing and mountaineering, EU Women’s size 38 (US W’s Size 6-8), never worn, $149 shipped (sold for $349 + Tax) - See description above. Two zipped front pockets, one zipped rear pocket, zipped mesh thigh vents, belt loops, snap zip fly, mesh lining, reinforced cuffs to protect against metal-edge skis, crampons and snowshoes, internal gaiters to stop snow from getting in your boots, zippered ankle openings with velcro closures. Absolutely bullet-proof pants. Size is EU 38 Petite, but pants are sized for great coverage and long enough that they should fit regular inseam too. https://www.trailspace.com/geamammut/castor-pants/ Photos: https://imgur.com/a/kYE1kkD
*** MERINO **\*
7) Women’s Medium Merino Long Sleeved Crew, Black, 100% Merino, New, only $35 (Regularly $75 + tax and shipping). Photos: https://imgur.com/a/XuJLsINOdlo of Norway is a top quality Norwegian-founded Swiss-engineered European merino and outerwear maker. Looks sharp on trail, in town and at work. Only 6.3 oz (180g) with tags.
**\* HIKING CRAMPONS FOR TRACTION ON ICE & STEEP GRASS SLOPES *** Photos: https://imgur.com/a/ZbSvp4I
8) Hillsound Trail Crampon Hiking and Backpacking Crampon, Small, New, $59(Regularly $84.95). Later fall, winter and early spring are some of the best hiking times, with so much beauty and lack of crowds. Don’t let lack of traction stop you and avoid injury due to slips. Specs & Size Guide: https://hillsound.com/collections/traction/products/trail-crampon
9) Hillsound FreeStep 6 Hiking and Backpacking Crampon, Small, New, $45 (regularly $64.95) A slightly less aggressive and lighter crampon than the Trail Crampon above. Specs & Size Guide: https://hillsound.com/collections/traction/products/freesteps6-traction-device
**\* GAITERS **\*
10) Hillsound Super Armadillo Nano Gaiter, Small, New, $69 (Regularly $104.95 + shipping) - Top-notch gaiter with thermoregulation and self-cleaning embedded in the upper section. Material adjusts to your temperature - keeps you warm or cools you off as needed and no water or dirt gets absorbed by the material. Lower section which is abrasion and slash/puncture-resistant. Both sections are waterproof and breathable. Keep out snow, slush, rain, mud, scree, rocks, debris and dust and save your lower legs from brushy conditions. For mountaineering, backpacking, snowshoeing and hunting. Built to last and covered by a limited lifetime warranty. Photos: https://imgur.com/a/9gIO1QG https://hillsound.com/products/super-armadillo-nano
*** Ultralight Snowshoes (buy now and save over next winter) **\*
11) Northern Lites Elite Snowshoes 25 in., Red with Gray Decking, New, $169 (Regularly $234.95 + tax) Northern Lites are the lightest and fastest to hike in snowshoes, thanks to the ultralight materials and rounded frame. NL’s are a favorite of snowshoe racers. https://northernlites.com/products/elite?variant=29843534512210 Photos: https://imgur.com/a/a3P0B37
12) Northern Lites Tundra 33 in. snowshoe with new Speed Spin bindings, New, $189 (Regularly $274.95 + tax) The new Speed Spin bindings are super fast, adjust in seconds in one quick turn of a knob instead of pulling and securing multiple straps one at a time. https://northernlites.com/products/tundra Photos: https://imgur.com/a/yUCtsLW
**\* HEADLAMPS *** Photos: https://imgur.com/a/Mnrxp1w
13) COAST FL75R Rechargeable Headlamp Kit, New $39 (Regularly $59.99 + tax and shipping) - Up to 530 lumens brightness, 511 ft range, with adjustable focusing beam from bulls-eye spot to wide flood. Comes with both rechargeable battery up to 500 charges and 3 Duracells AAA. Note that though this is new in the plastic see-through package, I can see that one of the included duracells in the plastic package leaked (these are in a separate compartment in the plastic blister package, not in the headlamp, and do not affect the headlamp at all). https://coastportland.com/collections/headlamps/products/fl75r
14) Fenix E16 Portable, High Performance 700 lumen EDC Flashlight, New, $22 (Regularly $39.95 + tax and shipping) - 700 lumen, 5 Modes, 16340 or CR123A battery.
15) Petzl eLite Ultralight Emergency Headlight & Signal Device, Pair, Never Used, only $20 for both (retailed for double the price) - includes adjustable headband and protective cases, many light settings including white, red, steady and blinking.
**\* KNIVES & MULTITOOLS **\*
16) COAST Dual LED Multi Tool, New, $29 (Regularly $49.99 + tax) - The LED150 Multi-Tool comes packed with 13 tools that can help you master any task or job. Tools: Spring-loaded pliers with wire cutter, 3.0 in. Blade, two built-in LEDs, Phillips (1) and flathead (3) screwdriver tips, bottle opener, wire stripper, can opener. 2 x CR1616 batteries included. With Coast’s commitment to quality, the LED150 Multi-Tool is backed by Coast’s lifetime warranty against defects in materials and workmanship. 4 in length closed. Never opened clear blister case has some small cracks in the back around the sheath. https://coastportland.com/products/led150 Photos: https://imgur.com/a/VryHhPy
17) COAST FDX300 Double Lock One-Handed Open Stainless Steel Folding Knife, 3 in. blade, New in package, 2 available, $45 for both (regularly each $30 + tax) - One-handed opening, double lock system for double safety, stainless steel handle, partially-serrated and partially-straight blade, ambidextrous opening, 3-position pocket clip, 7Cr17 stainless steel (also known as 68Cr17, a modified version of 440A steel, with more vanadium elements added to give it extra strength, increase toughness and wear resistance). Lifetime warranty. It’s the drop point version of this $29 COAST partially-serrated tanto: https://coastportland.com/collections/cutting-tools/products/fdx306 Photos: https://imgur.com/a/yxS7uno
**\* SAWYER WATER FILTRATION **\*
Photos for all Sawyer items below: https://imgur.com/a/EyGwPih
18a) Sawyer Tap Filter for fast emergency water & for cabin use, New, $36 (Regularly $48 + tax) - Great for muddy tap water following pipeline work, use at a cabin or in an emergency. With tap filter, backwash adapter, threaded spigot adapter, dual threaded adapter, tap gauge and extension hose. Highest level filtration 0.1 micron absolute. (verification photo above in 11)
18b) Box of Two 64 oz Sawyer Squeeze Pouches, New, $10.50 (Regularly $14 + tax) - 1 left. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005SO8SPC/ref=twister_B08NGGJMD6 (verification photo above in 11)
18c) Box of Three 16 oz Sawyer Squeeze Pouches, New, $6.75 (regulary $9 + tax) - 2 boxes available. https://www.highwaterfilters.com/products/sp116-sawyer-5-l-16oz-squeezable-pouch-set-of-3 (verification photo above in 11)
*** STORAGE SACKS **\*
19) Hillsound Weatherproof Packstack Pro Storage Sack, 40L Tall, New, $25 (regularly $35) weatherproof storage sack that made Outside Magazine's Gear Guide Editor's Choice Award. https://hillsound.com/products/packstackpro Photos: https://imgur.com/a/7wlWcDr
20) Hillsound Weatherproof Packstack Pro Storage Sack, 40L Short, New, $24 (regularly $34) - weatherproof storage sack that made Outside Magazine's Gear Guide Editor's Choice Award. https://hillsound.com/products/packstackpro Photos: https://imgur.com/a/7wlWcDr
*** KITCHEN *** Photos: https://imgur.com/a/TfCHUez
21) FlipFuel Fuel Transfer Device, New, $25 (Regularly $35 + tax) - Save gas from your half-empty canisters, super easy to use, compact and ultralight. https://www.flipfuel.co/ Photos: https://imgur.com/a/nY5PQNi
**\* POCKET SURVIVAL PACKS **\*
22) Adventure Medical Kits Doug Ritter Equipped to Survive Pocket Survival Packs, New, $15 each (was $26.99 + tax and shipping) - a collaboration with survival expert Doug Ritter, of Equipped to Survive. Photos: https://imgur.com/a/POeccVT
**\* COMPACT, ULTRALIGHT SUSPENSION STRENGTH-TRAINING GEAR, AT HOME & TRAVEL *** Photos with verification: (Gray set in cardboard box are Monkii Bars II Tactical Edition, Sealed Black box is the Wild Gym Pocket Monkii Set) https://imgur.com/a/bZgIowi
23) Wild Gym Monkii Bars II Tactical Edition, New, $129 (Regularly $199 + tax) - light, strong, compact and use-anywhere outdoors suspension strength trainer. Plenty of exercises to follow available on Wild Gym’s app as well as on Youtube.
24) Wild Gym Pocket Monkii, New, $69 (Regularly $95 + tax) - light, strong, super compact and use-anywhere outdoors suspension strength trainer. Plenty of exercises to follow available on Wild Gym’s app as well as on Youtube. https://www.wildgym.com/products/pocket-monkii-suspension-trainer-exercise-straps
**\* BIKE GEAR *** Photos with verification: https://imgur.com/a/tVBmPqJ
25) Canari Men’s Microlight Cycling Wind Shell, Hi-Viz Safety Yellow, Large, New, $29 (regularly $45 + tax and shipping) - Elastic cuffs and hem seal out breezes, wind-resistant fabric and full-front zipper and collar.
26) OnGuard Wheel Locks, Pair, New, $25 (was $49.99 plus tax per pair) - Replaces quick-release skewers to prevent wheel theft. Super light cold-forged steel design. 2 pairs available.
**\* THERMAL X-COUNTRY SKI BOOT COVERS *** Photos with verification: https://imgur.com/a/u6KhIHa
27) LillSport X-Country Ski Boot Thermal Covers, New, Pair of Unisex Boot Size EU 46-47 (US M’s 11.5-12.5 and W’s 12.5-13.5), New, $39 (regularly $79.99 + tax) - X-country ski boots are very thin and your feet can get quite cold on cold days. These boot covers go over your x-country ski boots to keep your feet nice and warm and protect your boots without any bulk. Also helps racers keep their feet warm before the start. Once you’ve used them on a cold, windy ski day you’ll wonder how you skied without them before. https://www.gearwest.com/products/lill-boot-cover-thermo
28) LillSport X-Country Ski Boot Thermal Covers, New, Pair of Unisex Boot Size EU 40/41 (US Men’s 7-8 and W’s 8-9) New, $39 (regularly $79.99 + tax) - Description same as above. https://www.gearwest.com/products/lill-boot-cover-thermo
Thanks for stopping by!

Hi. 19, college student looking for a reliable cheap first car for daily commute. What cars would you recommend? Cheaper insurance would also be great as well.
Budget - around 7k
Right now, I have my eyes set on a 2013 mazda 3i sport at 6k for 127k miles with a clean title and no accidents reported. Most posts recommend honda, corolla or mazdas as reliable cars, but I’d appreciate specific models that align with my budget.

Ok, so I said I would return with the rest of Nathan's story and here I am. My higher-ups already know of my misdeeds when I uploaded part 1 so I don't think I'll be around much longer. Anyway, I spoke to Nathan some more and he was fully willing to finish his story. After hearing it myself and transcribing it, I fully understand why he's in a tube and why I'm monitoring him. After you read this, you will understand why as well. Let's get into it!
Barely standing and gasping for air, Nathan takes a moment to stop running and realizes he has no idea where he is going. He begins looking around to see if there’s anywhere to hide or even, hopefully, find food or at least water. After a moment, he finally spots a few buildings in the nearby distance.
With high hopes, Nathan sprints past the remaining trees ahead and makes it to the buildings. Only one specific building catches his eye. A large sign that reads GROCERY stares at Nathan from the top of the building. Without hesitation, he rushes inside and much to his amazement, there are aisles!
Nathan quickly but quietly scans each aisle. Sadly, he sees nothing. Not until he sees a small pile of snacks lying next to a fallen end cap at the end of an aisle. Excitement dances through Nathan’s body as he runs to the food and begins eating it like a wild animal. He devours every ounce of food he finds until he suddenly hears an unnerving sound.
Listening closely as possible, Nathan hears the sound of cracking bones and ripping flesh. Afraid, yet curious, he looks around the corner of the aisle and spots the legs of a woman lying in her own blood and entrails. Upon further inspection, Nathan sees what he believes to be the creature he and Charlie had seen before. It’s a large thin four-legged animal that most likely was a wolf at one point but is now just a beast. It’s feasting on the entrails of the woman’s corpse and refusing to take its taste buds away from its food. That is until it hears Nathan, who accidentally steps on a bag of chips. It swiftly averts its attention to Nathan and the sight of its face is terrifying. Its face is half torn and its eyes show exactly how bloodthirsty it is. With blood and entrails dangling from its teeth, the beast fully turns its body to Nathan and lets out a deep and disturbing growl.
Believing this to be his final moments alive, Nathan backs up and stumbles into the wall with his eyes closed and fists clenched. He is ready for the reaper to take his soul. The beast closes in on him and readies itself to charge its prey but is suddenly distracted by the voice of unwanted company. “Heel, you stupid mutt!” It’s once again Subject Zero, who is this time covered in large amounts of blood. The beast diverts its attention to Subject Zero and prepares for a fight.
Unsure as to why Subject Zero didn’t just let the beast kill him, Nathan, stands and stares in terrified confusion. As Nathan watches, Subject Zero is attacked by the beast after a failed attempt at taming it. Directly after its attack, the beast is grabbed and bashed against a wall then thrown to the floor. The animal, no longer looking like a beast compared to Subject Zero, stands again and viciously sinks its teeth into Subject Zero’s arm but its life is soon ended. With a large and swift pull on the animal’s rear legs with its teeth still bore into Subject Zero’s arm, its body rips apart and its entrails fall out onto the floor. “I knew you were a waste,” Subject Zero says with disappointment in his voice.
Nathan quickly snaps back to reality and runs out the nearby emergency exit. No longer caring about hunger or thirst, he just keeps running and doesn’t stop even when he stumbles from exhaustion. Inevitably, any hope he once had, is lost when in the not so far distance he hears, “Just because the mutt didn’t kill you, that doesn’t mean that I won’t!”
Still running further into the woods, Nathan begins to stumble. He finally stops and falls to his knees as he begins to believe he is going to die here. He falls onto his back and lies in the grass around him while releasing a long but relaxing sigh. Nathan can feel the cold hard ground beneath him as he looks up to the sky.
Filled with raging guilt and regrets, Nathan stares up to the sky in silence. It gets so silent, he can hear everything around him. He hears the wind sing through the leaves of trees. He can even hear water flowing nearby. Water! Unsure of where, he looks up quickly and listens. Finally, he spots a creek nearby and climbs to his hands and knees.
Unable to fully stand, Nathan crawls his way to the creek ignoring all of his surroundings. He reaches the creek and practically bathes himself in the near freezing water in an attempt to feel refreshed. Afterwards, he begins to guzzle the water in handfuls.
After many handfuls of water, Nathan notices something odd. The water tastes metallic as if you were sucking on an old copper penny or silver spoon. Upon this realization, he also notices the color of the water seems off. Unsure of why, he looks around only to find something far more disturbing than he imagined. An amalgamation of mutilated corpses sit nearby rotting on the rocks of the creek shore.
Realizing he had just drank water contaminated with rotting corpses of innocent people, Nathan starts getting a sick feeling in his stomach and attempts to look away but can’t get his eyes off the sight. Finally breaking, he begins gagging vigorously. He loses control and starts puking uncontrollably before ultimately collapsing from pain and disgust.
Nathan finally gets up after lying on the ground for a moment. Hoping to find at least some form of shelter, he manages to get himself up to his aching feet and stumbles his way down the creek. Eventually, he reaches the end of the creek where a large pipe is sticking out from the ground at an angle. The pipe, being large enough to fit a man, seems like a perfect place to shelter in. Before fully deciding to sleep there, Nathan looks inside hoping that it may lead to an exit from the dome but is quickly disappointed when he sees only dirt and mud. Nathan no longer cares and decides to climb into the pipe. He manages to make it an adequate resting area. Soon after, he is unable to keep his eyes open and finally falls asleep.
“Nathan, wake up. You’re going on live television.” A very familiar voice whispers to Nathan. He opens his eyes expecting to see different surroundings, but instead, he sees Charlie sitting next to him in an unfamiliar building. Obviously confused, Nathan hesitates to even move but decides to go with it. He’s led out to a room with a male interviewer, revealing that he is on a live television interview.
The interviewer looks to the camera and says, “Welcome to TalkTime, I’m your host, Tim Wiesly, and today, we have Nathan White. Just in case you don’t know, Nathan is a brilliant reporter and reports anything in the most brilliant ways. One specific story he covered about his near-death experience is what we would like to talk about today. So, Nathan, could you tell the viewers more about your experience?”
Nathan hesitates at first but oddly starts believing that he made it out of the hell he was in and just dissociated. He starts telling the interviewer everything that happened to him.
“Well, Tim, for starters, my colleague and I had found evidence that Envirodome was a test facility. Little did we know, one test they ran there was still in the facility after decades. We then found all the missing people over the years but they were unfortunate and passed away at the hands of the facilities test subject. I eventually lost my colleague and had a run in with a rabid animal as well but I got away and managed to find a place to sleep. After that, I climbed out and decided to… to…”
Nathan stops in his tracks as he realizes he can’t remember what happened after the tunnel.
“Wait. Wait, this can’t be real. I vividly remember Charlie going insane. And all those other people started losing their minds and they all started killing each other. I remember all that, yet I can’t remember a damn thing after falling asleep in that tunnel! What the fuck is going on?”
Charlie comes running out and attempts to calm Nathan but fails as Nathan screams back.
“You’re dead! You’re fucking dead! I know you are! You aren’t real. None of you, none of this! None of it is real!”
Soon after realizing everything is fake, all of Nathan’s surroundings start changing. Everything around him becomes morbidly dark and people become mutated corpses, all of which walk over to him. They all start screaming at Nathan, resulting in him breaking and he loses his mind to the brink of insanity. Out of the dark shadows, Subject Zero walks into the area as if he were a dark god who created him and was ready to destroy him. Suddenly, everyone surrounding Nathan abruptly stops screaming and looks at him. Then they all in perfect sync say, “You’re losing control, Nathan.”
Nathan angrily stands tall and yells, “Leave me alone!” After this fierce scream with his eyes shut, Nathan suddenly hears nothing but the sound of running water. He opens his eyes only to find he was still in the town under the dome. Only, now, it is somehow nighttime. Suddenly, he’s startled by the sound of splashing water. Nathan quietly looks up from the inside of the tunnel he’s lying in. In a decent distance away, Nathan sees two mannequins throwing multiple bodies into the already corpse-filled creek. Although, one body stands out amongst the rest. Charlie's. His body is mangled and mutilated. Nathan feels sick and guilty as he stares at his dead friend.
Soon, Subject Zero’s voice is heard, resulting in Nathan realizing he needs to sneak out of the area. He quickly climbs out of the tunnel and looks around. He decides his best option is to go in one direction until he hopefully reaches an edge of the dome. He believes it may help him reach the overseer’s office where the self-destruct button is.
With his new plan, Nathan quietly sneaks away until he accidentally rams into the edge of the dome. He becomes angry at first for being dumb enough to run into it, but eventually realizes he could be on his way to salvation.
Nathan, still tired, stumbles around the edge of the dome and looks strange considering the walls are simulated to look like more land. Even though Nathan can barely handle all the stress, he still forces himself to keep moving with high hopes to avenge his deceased friend. He keeps going until he stumbles over a small brush pile. He falls onto his face and notices blood pouring from his nose.
Assuming his nose has broken from the fall, Nathan quickly checks it but oddly there is no pain and the bleeding has already stopped. He’s confused but doesn’t care as he’s determined to escape. He gets up and eventually reaches an odd looking spot of the dome wall. With a closer look, he realizes it’s a door. Full of hope, Nathan quickly opens it and discovers a staircase leading to the overseer’s office.
Nathan runs up without hesitation. He reaches the top of the stairs and makes it to the controls. Being dark, Nathan feels around for a light switch but as he thinks it, the lights come on. Now with light, he sees papers lying everywhere, all with information of the dome. Apparently, the government had the technology to make all this without ever letting the public know. It was built with a self-destruct button as safety measures if anything within the dome went horribly wrong. Although Nathan thought it would be an explosion as most self-destruct buttons cause, the dome was made to disassemble itself as it counted down, allowing the slight possibility of reaching the only entrance and exit doors of the facility.
Nathan realizes he may actually have a chance to escape this hell and avenge his friend. After a small pause, he gets back to searching for the self-destruct button. He stumbles across a glass casing labeled ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’. Nathan opens the casing and prepares to press the button but is quickly distracted as a voice breaks the silence.
“This place hasn’t been real after all these damned years?” Subject Zero reacts angrily as he slowly walks toward Nathan. “I knew this place seemed a bit small, but now that I know I can get out of here, I’ll bring my tests to the whole damn world!”
“Why would you even want that?! Every single test you have done with that fucking serum has been a failure!”
“No… No, I’ve perfected my serum.”
“What the FUCK do you mean?”
Without a single other word, Subject Zero rushes toward Nathan. Nathan quickly reacts and raises his arms in defense. Suddenly, Subject Zero flies backwards as if he was shoved with incredible force. They both now know Nathan was the cause.
“That. That is what I mean.” Subject Zero says with a grin on his face.
“No, no, what the fuck. How?!”
“You really think I didn’t take the opportunity to inject a new version of the serum into you.”
“But- but there wasn’t an injection hole. Everyone else had one.”
“That’s the great thing about it. I perfected it so much that your healing is far greater than even mine AND you didn’t lose your mind like I did. That’s all I ever wanted…”
“Screw you…” Nathan clenches his fist and swings a punch at Subject Zero. Realizing things move just from his thought now, Nathan opens his hand and telekinetically throws things at Subject Zero. The two begin to have an all-out super powered brawl as Subject Zero explains to Nathan that the serum is why every pain he’s felt while in the dome went away nearly immediately. The telekinesis just happened to come into play later on. Then suddenly, Nathan is slammed through and out the overseer’s office windows. Subject Zero jumps down onto him.
Nathan gets weaker with each hit he takes but still fights on. Before he gets up, he notices that where the broken window is, the walls show their true colors of concrete gray and glass. Aside from the window, Nathan notices the door to the office is still wide open. He quickly gives Subject Zero a powerful kick to his abdomen and jumps up to run.
Nathan runs quickly up the stairs and to the self-destruct button after leaving his enemy on the ground outside. As he reaches the button, Nathan looks out the broken window at Subject Zero and prepares to press the button.
Nathan slams his hand onto the button as Subject Zero yells out in hatred. Nathan, expecting something to happen, waits. Subject Zero laughs hysterically but then suddenly is cut off by a loud voice projecting across the whole dome. “COMMENCING SELF-DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.”
Nathan notices Subject Zero is distracted and uses this as his chance to escape. 10, 9, 8…… The countdown begins and the sun begins to rise as Nathan runs out of the office and past the unaware Subject Zero. 7, 6, 5…… The countdown continues and the facility begins to collapse as Nathan passes through the woods where he drank from the creek and soon passes the concrete room where the other people were held captive. 4, 3, 2…… The countdown gets closer to an end as the dome collapses quicker and Nathan rushes past the old house he was stuck in before. Soon enough, he gets onto the road that led him and Charlie to the town inside the dome and gets even closer to the door but suddenly Subject Zero is following behind. This time, he’s so angry and determined, Subject Zero uses his telekinetic powers to control the mangled corpses that he’s kept. He’s headed for either the door or Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t care.
1…… The countdown comes to an end and the entire dome collapses above. Subject Zero, far behind with his army of corpses, stops and accepts what is coming but Nathan keeps running in hopes to escape before the weight of a million tons comes crashing down onto him. Soon enough, the dome becomes nothing but rubble.
The entire area where the dome once stood, is now a ginormous pile of rubble and all that stands are a few trees and small bits of buildings. Nothing could have lived from inside. Unless you were close to the doors.
Nathan, barely standing or even really alive, stumbles around the rubble. With his new powers, he uses his telekinesis to move a large piece of steel revealing a small group of men nearby. Within this group are a couple of men who are clearly scientists of some sort but the others are clearly military. Nathan runs to them with hopes of help but suddenly…
“Stop right there!” One of the men yells out angrily but with a quiver in his voice. “Put your heads above your head and don’t speak!”
“Wait! I just need help!”
“I said put your hands above your head!”
Nathan is confused so he looks around in the hopes that maybe Subject Zero is who he spotted. Sadly, the guns are all being aimed straight for him.
This is the end of Nathan’s story. But it isn’t the end of mine. After hearing Nathan's story, I have an understanding of why he’s in the tube here. I can firmly admit that I’m terrified. I had no idea this is why I was sent here. I was led to believe he was just a possible danger and I needed to monitor him and continue brain scans. Little did I know, this is why.
I know it seems a bit strange and even unbelievable but I have no real reason to not believe a man trapped inside a tube. But now that he has spoken to me, he’s asked me to help him. However, I have no idea how. Aside from letting him out, there’s nothing else I can do. The higher-ups here are strict and have specifically told anyone working here not to listen to Nathan. On top of that, they're already suspicious of me. I suppose, getting his story out is one way to help him but he also wants out of here.
I don’t know what to do, but I do understand I’ve already gone too far by even listening to him. Hell, he may even be as dangerous now as Subject Zero from the story he told me. If he is, I could release a madman into the world. If he isn't, I'm letting an innocent man suffer alone in a science facility. Screw it. I’ve come to terms with what must happen. I’ll release him the moment I can, if I even can. Once this story is shown to the public, I may end up terminated. Not from my job, but from my life. If this happens then I’m sorry to Nathan. If Nathan turns out to be a danger as well, then I’m sorry to all of you. For now and possibly forever, goodbye.
PART 1:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1d7hsgf/im_a_scientist_and_a_man_in_a_tube_is_telling_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Hello! I'd thought I'd share my experience with Reach for the Stars and my suggested improvements. Thanks to others in the sub, I used your experiences/posts before I ran it and it helped tremendously.
I’ll list the changes (there’s a lot) I think you should implement followed by the reasoning- skip that if you want because this will be a bit long.
I used Meera as a hook for the golden vault. Meera is a new handler and is panicked that her first crew has gone missing. She’s heard of the adventurers and needs help quickly. As a city clerk, she was able temporarily get access to blueprints of the Delphi Mansion and copy a rough map. She gave the map to the first crew and can’t get access to the plans again on short notice- she suggests finding signs of the first crew as a start.
Rewards: 150 gp each for return of codex, 100gp each for safely returning Markos, a magic item of your choice from Golden Vault for figuring out what happened to the dead crew and bringing back their bodies safely.
Arriving at the mansion:
Don’t have Elra appear and guide the group to her camp.
While searching for the camp they may encounter two cultists and a mutated dog (use blink dog stat block) scavenging for mushrooms for the head alchemist’s experiments in the surrounding forests. (Roll stealth and perception checks for both groups as necessary.) The cultists can surprise the adventurers.
Suggested description: Vagith (Ken) and Ghrougnurc (Samantha), wearing dark-purple silk robes, are scavenging for eldritch-tainted mushrooms in the area using a mutated hound. The hound's eyes are covered over with skin and a tentacle sporting an eye protrudes from its forehead. It has a mottled inky coat. The cultists grumble about the task and periodically insult the dog to hurry up.
What the cultists know/have:
Cultists know: “Markos has a room on the third floor where he performs rituals.
Cultists know: That the alchemy room/head alchemist is on the second floor. That there are odd far realm surges happening in the mansion.
A note in one of cultist’s pockets: “Mansion windows can be unlocked using the password ‘Krokulmar.’” (their cheat sheet, bad memory)
When and if the players find Elra’s camp:
Describe an eldritch-like surge when a player begins a search and Elra appears. You can read the blurb EXCEPT:
Elra DOES NOT know about the cavernous room in the basement OR about the mansion windows password.
She knows about the third floor ritual-like area and that there is a hooked horror creature there. That is where the group was killed.
In the camp: The drawn map (I had this printed out and cut into pieces) except DO NOT show the players anything behind the secret door of the basement or the beneath the house chamber. Explain that the drawn door in the basement is a printer error and that there are no exits in the basement.
Reasoning: This lengthens the module, but I think it’s worth it. As written, they show up and get handed all the information, the whole map, and all the clues from a floating head- there’s no player agency and it’s not interesting.
The encounter has the players getting a glimpse of the eldritch energies effects and gives them options of how to get the information they need.
The players will find out about the basement and the secret ritual from the mansion itself- this will give them a sense of discovery and sleuthing.
Third floor changes: Remove the ghouls in D22. (added ghouls in basement)
Second Floor Changes: Markos’ Office-
In the desk or file cabinet, they find notes and sketches about expanding the basement. They get the map of the rest of the basement (D24-D26). Do not show D27. They find information about him gathering large purple crystals and taking them into some cavern below.
If they do not go to the office then place this information/designs somewhere else appropriate, preferably on the second floor. Or not- they will have an information disadvantage on the final fight.
Reasoning: This is an “aha” moment hopefully; they get another piece of the map and know an important element of the final boss fight. Makes the second floor more interesting.
Basement Changes: If they find and force open the secret door before exploring the rest of the house, then a force field prevents them from D26B from D26A. They need the password to deactivate it (from 3rd floor).
When the players enter D25, with the dead original crew, if the statue in D24 has not been destroyed, then an eldritch surge occurs, and two are raised as hostile ghouls.
Reasoning: Allowing them to force open the secret door and then to go to the final boss fight immediately with one skill check is just bad design. This allows them to benefit somewhat from succeeding- if they topple the statue then they won’t have the detrimental surges throughout the building. Also some NPCs might be friendlier if the surges stop.
Raising the old crew as ghouls gives the players an interesting fight here rather than a boring general ghoul fight on the 3rd floor. They need to bring back the crew bodies somewhat intact for the bonus gold, so they can’t just pew pew here.
Final fight changes:
Each pillar gives the enemies +2 AC and +2 to saving throws.
Increase the health and/or AC of the pillars- I didn’t and they died really quickly, even with the bonuses to AC and saving throws. Not sure about the tuning. Maybe keep AC13 and health of 25 each.
If the fragment of krokulmar dies and at least one pillar remains, Markos can take an action to summon another fragment on the decapitated body.
Bring back surges to the fight! (see expanded surge table below)
Add a bonus action for the Fragment:
The fragment calls out to Krokulmar and applies an eldritch surge to the room, the fragment/body is immune to any negative effects from the surge.
(You may have to adjust a surge to make it affect the fight- for example teeth/door one I had the pillars sprout teeth and try to bite players.)
The fight is over when all the pillars and the fragment of krokulmar are dead…or Markos is dead.
This fight is WAY too easy and boring without changing it IMO. One hit can destroy the fragment and it’s over. Turn this into a fight where the players need to keep Markos at bay while destroying the pillars and interrupting the fragment.
Expanded Eldritch Table surges for below mansion suggestions:
5) The room is filled with Deep Speech whispers and all creatures' speech is twisted into Deep Speech. Characters do not gain the ability to understand Deep Speech nor can cast spells with a verbal component without knowing Deep Speech.
6) A protective magical force surrounds each creature in this room, manifesting as spectral tentacles that covers you and your gear. You gain 5 temporary hit points for the duration. If a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points, the creature takes 5 cold damage.
7) In this room, random items from each creature's inventory get teleported into the air.
8) Madness attempts to enter the mind of every creature in the room. Each creature holding a weapon must make a DC13 wisdom saving throw. On a fail, they make a melee attack against themselves.
Let me know what you think!