Posting about the experience & wisdom will help the experience & new understanding have a greater effect on your use future thoughts, words, actions, and overall being. What specific lines or meditation/contemplation helped you?
What spiritual experiences or exercises have you been thru that evolved your soul? How would you try to duplicate that for let’s say your child to go thru the same thing & grow, too. What have you experienced in your life that you grew from that could help your kids (& the world)? What truths helped you the most in your psychic journey?
What spiritual wisdom dramatically affected your perception of reality in a way that some would say , “woke you up” or spiritually awakened you?
How do you apply the highest knowledge to your life? Some say knowledge applied is wisdom, how do you apply your knowledge to be wise?
What have you learned from others that most greatly affected your life, like an epiphany that would be most beneficial to share? What stories of character are you going to tell your kids someday to help them grow their traits & characteristics?
What quotes do you live by? What have your told your children that you think has helped them most? What wisdom do you have that makes you love life more & have more fun with the Game of Life? What perceptions of God & your soul/Higher Self have changed your life?
https://www.reddit.com/starseeds/comments/1bl0izj/heaven_on_earth_game_spirit_game_the_one_game/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button I have an idea for a spiritual awakening video game that will help everyone spiritually awaken as easily and as deeply as possible and also give people the ability to express their wisdom in fun, creative new ways.

Been seeing a LOT of these boomer posts and it hurts and frustrates me on how relatable they are. To an extent I thought you all were talking about my in-laws. But enough of the sap story, let's get to the Main Entreé.
So my In-laws are both registered Democrats. Why this matters? You'll see in a minute.
My FIL is a 100% narcissist and MIL is just brainwashed. So any election that comes up (Local, State, Federal, etc.) he tells her who to vote for (she does ask who to vote for too but spends 99.999% of her time on FB, so the politic memes are her news source, besides CNN). Now you'd think that's where it ends right? Nope. My In-Laws are the most racist people I've ever met. Almost always refer black people as Hard-Rs and anyone non-white as basically either "Sand NRs or NRs". Even LGBTQ they will only refer to them as 'F*gts or Queer'. And they sit hours-on-end watching CNN, talking about Trump and Republicans and refer to Fox News as "Spying on the enemy". Hell, ever since Biden was elected, they've literally talked about Trump more than anyone else. Anything that goes wrong, it's ALWAYS a Republican's fault.
Guess where they live? A heavily Red Rural area.
I'm just heavily convinced that if Trump wasn't a president, he'd actually be registered Republican.
I've been even told when Obama was elected he said per quote "NO GOD DAMN NRs SHOULD BE RUNNING THIS COUNTRY" and was very piss off. Turn that frown upside down a year later and acted like Obama was the best president ever.
Now you understand why I mentioned them voting Democrat. It's super confusing because they act the complete opposite. Thanks for your time reading this because it's hard to find an outlet that understands the struggle of Boomer activity.

Posting about the experience & wisdom will help the experience & new understanding have a greater effect on your use future thoughts, words, actions, and overall being. What specific lines or meditation/contemplation helped you?
What spiritual experiences or exercises have you been thru that evolved your soul? How would you try to duplicate that for let’s say your child to go thru the same thing & grow, too. What have you experienced in your life that you grew from that could help your kids (& the world)?
What spiritual wisdom dramatically affected your perception of reality in a way that some would say , “woke you up” or spiritually awakened you?
How do you apply the highest knowledge to your life? Some say knowledge applied is wisdom, how do you apply your knowledge to be wise?
What have you learned from others that most greatly affected your life, like an epiphany that would be most beneficial to share?
What stories of character are you going to tell your kids someday to help them grow their traits & characteristics?
What quotes do you live by?
What have your told your children that you think has helped them most?
What wisdom do you have that makes you love life more & have more fun with the Game of Life?
What perceptions of God & your soul/Higher Self have changed your life?
https://www.reddit.com/starseeds/comments/1bl0izj/heaven_on_earth_game_spirit_game_the_one_game/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button I have an idea for a spiritual video game that would bring heaven to earth and allow for spiritual people to have more fun spiritually awakening & expressing their wisdom.

Garfield and Friends has always been my favourite cartoon of all time. I always loved Lorenzo Music's voice as Garfield, (NO one can replace him in my opinion). This cartoon has the best version of Garfield. I always loved the way Mark Evanier potrayed him, he's fat, he's lazy, he's sarcastic, but at the same time he has a hidden heart of gold (there were episodes where he saved Odie, or where he helped the mailman get his job back, for example). I also love his sarcasm and his humour, he had a lot of funny lines. Heck, in the first episode he said to himself "people who sing like that should be drug out into the street and shot". It's a very fun cartoon to watch, and it's peak Garfield media for me. I also love Garfield and Odie's interactions in Garfield and Friends. While in the comic strip, Garfield and Jon were the common duo, in Garfield and Friends Garfield and Odie are usually seen together. They are great frenemies. Garfield usually plays mean tricks on him and kicks him off the table and jerky stuff like that, but at the same time he and Odie frequently have adventures together.
Also, Jon Arbuckle in this show was so relatable. I always felt bad for that guy, he never got a girl in the show and Garfield was mocking him and calling him a virgin the whole time lol.
Garfield and Friends is truly a great cartoon, i always loved the humor, the great writing, and i also loved how this show always MOCKED everything, including stuff as professional content or educational shows. Heck, one episode was parodying Barney the dinosaur. The fourth wall breaks (although they can be kinda annoying at times) are very funny, always liked how Garfield and co. are aware that they're inside a cartoon.
Now, about the U.S Acres segments? I istantly skip them. Never liked them and never cared for the farm animals. And also, there were some bad episode, particularly all the episodes with the Buddy Bears in it. God, hated those three bears. And is it just me, or were they actual "Talking animals"? Humans were shown to understand the bears in their earlier appearances.. they can't understand garfield but they (sometimes) hear what those bears are saying? Weird.

(TW: All spoiler markers are related to weight and dieting. There will be uncensored mentions of specific food.)
Hi everyone! I am nearing a major weight loss milestone of 50lbs which I have only achieved from being binge free for the last almost 8 months. This is the longest I have ever been binge free since I was probably around 11 years old, and I am now 28. I have found a lot of success and don’t experience “food noise” or the desire to binge anymore.
I thought I would make a post about the things I have done to find success in recovery. I will also tell it in chronological order so maybe it will help someone who is just starting their recovery journey.
At the end of October 2023, I had just had a surgery which left me unable to binge for around 10 days. During this period I had a lot of time to think, and decided that as soon as I was recovered, I was going to start working out and stop binging. One of the other people I live with has some workout equipment (just basic weights and a bench, more or less) so I asked if I could use it and got the all good.
I have quit binging multiple times in the past, but always gave up after 4 months or so. In the past, when I stopped binging I would always start counting calories and had a very aggressive calorie goal because I really wanted to lose weight more than I ever wanted to stop binging.
What I learned this time around is that you can’t sustainably lose weight and keep it off until you have the BED under control. As somebody who was morbidly obese, this was a really tough pill to swallow. I decided for the first few months, I was only going to have three goals:

1. Avoid "junk" foods for the time being until I got the urges out of my system.
2. I could eat as much of anything else as I wanted BUT-
3. It could not be a binge session. For me, my binges were very private with a lot of shame and lying about it to other people. I could overeat if that’s what I needed to do, but no binging.

I was following these rules and lifting 5x week, for about 30 minutes a day. I had made a commitment to myself that I would maintain all of this for 8 weeks, and then re-evaluate. I also booked an appointment with a psychotherapist who specializes in EDs and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy that I had worked with earlier in the year.
For context, I had about 3 appointments with this therapist in March 2023, when I initially wanted to stop binging. But the appointments were so emotionally draining, my therapist had made me think about the way I saw myself and my self-image which I reacted to defensively, and I ended up giving up, like I had many times before. I swallowed my pride and re-booked an appointment for December 2023.
The other things I did right at the start were:

1. Started making video diaries, talking about anything. I can’t write fast enough to capture all my thoughts in journaling, so video diaries were a nice alternative.
2. Took ”before” pictures and body measurements to track my weight loss.
3. Started drinking 3.6L of water a day.

Working with my therapist really helped shift my mindset. I remember I had this fantastic week in early January - I just felt like I was capable of anything. I felt like I was becoming the person I wanted to be. I was saying positive things to myself, correcting any nasty thoughts that had slipped through, I was feeling way less urges, I had created this sense of mindfulness in my life, I had turned my perpetual victim mentality around, and generally I just felt like this was it. It was like something clicked in place for me and I knew this time was different.
My therapist had recommended I look into getting a peer mentor, someone else who had experienced and recovered from BED that I could talk to more as a friend. I registered for a screening interview at this time, but the waiting list was quite long.
In January, I decided it was time to keep progressing. During this time, I had lost 12lbs naturally. I wasn’t counting my calories or even really trying to lose weight, but it just happened that the amount of calories I was eating now vs. when I was binging ended up putting me in a deficit. I upped my workouts to 45 minutes 5x a week. I decided I was going to start loosely tracking my calories. I had a pretty generous goal of about 1800/day, and promised myself that I would be honest about what I was eating, as well as not get mad at myself if I went over. I also made a protein goal of 120g/day because what I had come to realize is protein filled me up so much that binging wasn’t even an option to my body. My hunger signals started coming back around this time and if I was hungry, I would eat something no matter what. I never let myself go hungry because I knew that was a huge trigger for me.
The next couple of months really passed by in a blur. Every month, I would add a new goal: a step goal, a sleep goal, walking every day before work, etc. I also added some new workout equipment to my gym set up. I kept meeting with my therapist once a month. Weight was literally falling off me at this point. I hit 25lbs lost soon and bought some new clothes. I downloaded a “Habits” app to track the things I wanted to do, including non-wellness related goals like doing DuoLingo for 10 minutes a day.
I went on a trip after, and I ended up making some rules for myself while I was there that I felt would stop me from overindulging and get me back on track when I got home. These were things like: I will have fries twice, I will have dessert twice, I will buy a healthy breakfast at a grocery store to eat at my hotel, I will choose grilled chicken salads or egg based lunches, etc. I managed to stick to these, and came home and immediately got back into my healthy habits I had created.
Around this time, I was assigned a peer mentor who I started meeting with bi-weekly. Weight continued to fall off me, and by the time I reached 40lbs it was like the whole world noticed at once. People couldn’t help but say something about it to me. Still trying to figure out how to react when people say something, but generally recognize that I can’t control what people say, all I can control is how I react.
From there, I have just continued on with all of these things! Still setting new goals, working out 5x week, meeting with my therapist and peer mentor, keeping up my habits and commitments to myself, doing my video diaries, and just generally feeling fantastic. I’ve introduced all foods back into my life, except for my biggest trigger food which I’ve decided I won’t be re-introducing.
Here are some general things that helped me along my journey:

• Drinking a glass of water before every meal. Water goes a long way towards making you feel fuller and satisfied, but doing it before a meal is especially helpful.
• Never eating distracted. No eating in front of screens, no music, honestly preferably no talking with someone else. When I was starting this, I wanted to be very conscious and in the moment when I was eating. That way I could just focus on the food, how it made me feel, and how hungry I actually was.
• Never eating standing up. Just like my last point. Even if I’m eating a protein bar, I sit at my kitchen table and do it, distraction free. Chew slowly and make sure you are tasting every bite. It takes about 20 minutes to get full. So if you are eating quickly, you might still feel hungry when you’re done and eat more, causing overeating. If you eat slowly, you’re able to be more in tune with your body’s hunger signals. Something else you could do here is if you finish a meal and you’re still hungry, set a timer for 20 minutes. If you’re still hungry after that, have some more. If you’re no longer hungry, then you don’t eat again. If you’re hungry you should eat, but make sure what you’re actually feeling is hunger!
• Don’t fall into the trap of needing to eat everything on my plate. I have become comfortable with throwing food out if I need to. Just because it’s on my plate doesn’t mean it’s an appropriate portion size (especially if it’s at a restaurant) and it’s not a moral failing to not finish it. I will say that the times I’ve been at a restaurant and decide to stop eating halfway through my fries, the pride I experience that I was able to stop myself makes me feel better than the fries ever did.
• Reduce screen time - online is depressing.
• Make sure every meal you’re eating contains 30g of protein and every snack 10-15g. Make a list of 15 activities that you can do in 15 minutes (ie. Shower, Duolingo, go for a walk, etc.). When you feel the urge to binge, do that instead.
• If you find yourself binging and have a moment of clarity, throw out the food and destroy it to the point you can’t go back to it. Pour water, soap, bleach, whatever on it. Rub it into the dirt. Desperate times, desperate measures.
• Regular exercise. I hate to say it because for years I just felt like my body wasn’t built for the gym, but the endorphins from exercising really do replace the endorphins from binging after a while.
• Find a method of exercise you like. I’ll be honest, I hate cardio. I’ve always hated cardio. But weight lifting is fun to me! If you like walking, swimming, sports, etc. Just go out there and figure it out!
• Work on your mindset. When you think “Why did I have to develop this stupid disorder?”, reframe it to “Everyone has challenges in life and this is mine. Now how do I overcome it?”. Instead of thinking “I’m so fat and look disgusting”, reframe it as “I may not be fully satisfied with how I look right now, but luckily I can change it.”.
• Above all, be kind and patient with yourself. Life is hard enough, my goodness. Be kind, remind yourself you deserve love, that you are not your body OR your disorder. You are brave as hell for even recognizing that you have this disorder and wanting to change. Recognize the parts you like about yourself, and come up with strategies to fix the things you don’t.
• Don’t do everything at once. You can’t do it all. You’re going to burn out and then quit and feel defeated. Incorporate new things into your routine slowly. I choose one new thing a month, build it into a habit, start doing it mindlessly, and then pick something else. Pick ONE thing and just start there.
• If you’re counting calories, please make sure you are constantly checking in with yourself about whether you are doing it in a healthy way. It can be a fine line for people with EDs.
• Meal prepping is literally a god send. I meal prep everything for the week on Sundays, and that way I always have food ready for me in the fridge. If I start getting hungry and feel any desire to order Door Dash or whatever, just going up to my kitchen and throwing a meal in the microwave is much easier.
• I also make lots of high protein snacks like protein donuts, ice cream. I buy things like high protein Quest chips and protein bars. Baking and still eating desserts makes it way more fun and sustainable!

Here are a few quotes/general sentiments that have helped me:

• Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.
• Your body is not a trash can. If you have to choose between throwing food out or eating it, knowing you will feel guilty, overfull, and gross, just throw it out.
• I grant myself the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
• Tomorrow you will wish you started today.

I think that pretty much captures it! Thanks if you made it this far. I’m sure there’s things I forgot, but I’ll edit the post if I think of anything else. Please feel free to ask literally anything about anything, I am not triggered by any kind of questions or topics.
I also want to clarify that nothing I’ve said in here is a guarantee it will work for you. This is something that worked for me and me alone. If you’ve tried some of these things and they didn’t work for you, then there are tons of other strategies you can give a shot.
Good luck to all of you! I know each and every one of you has it within yourselves to beat this.

Since it is a website for Gothic Fashion, I figures this would fit here.
I recently ordered something from them, 3 Tshirts and a belt. And THANK GOD I didn't pay the full price.
Remember how great Killstar was for having so many Plus Size clothes? You do? Well forget it and mourn it. I bought the shirts in XL and XXL. And they dont have 3XL and 4XL anymore. Their new "Plus size" is XXL. That's the biggest. I can't even wear it properly. I am a XL usually. The only thing changing when you size-up is the length. You can see my butt-cheeks in these shirts because they sit so tightly.
Then we get to the belt. I have 2 belts from Killstar. A lilac one in L-XXL and a black one in L-XXL. When I wear the purple one, I have to close it on the first two holes because it's so big. And when I wear the black one, I have to close it on the last hole because its too small else.
Then other small stuff about the clothes. The Tag inside that always featured a quote when you flipped it? Gone too. Now it only says "Killstar" and the size. Also the paper tag is just plain black now.
Then the overall design of the clothes. It's all just black now. Nothing goth about it. Heck, it looks like regular clothes. Like this "Budget goth" style which is just normal black clothes. I miss their old stuff (especially the pastel collection Also their Homeware... God I would but nothing of that and wouldn't advice anyone too because it looks awful.
It's a shame they only deliver to Europe since 2020 or so...
I know Killstar isn't appreciated much here anyway, but I feel like now, every hope is lost... So I had to get this off my chest to people who might understand this disappointing feeling

I think Allah is testing me hard.
I don't understand why he'd send us here then send us to he'll if we don't use the 5 pillar guide or whatever. People messaged me under a post I made a while ago of quotes from the quran that were violent (i read the explanation). And a don't understand the shariah law. And i think everything that can be said about Allah testing us can go vice versa. What if there's another God that is bringing me away from Islam and towards them.
I also have SSA which is one of my biggest struggles. I don't understand why same sex attraction is bad. I understand historically why it would be looked down upon (reproduction). Its 2024 and the world is overpopulated. But what if I have a wife and just have artificial insemination. I can understand that lesbian intercourse is there purely for pleasure but that can go with straight intecourse too.
I know it looks like I'm trying to lure people from here away from Islam but I swear thats not what I'm doing. I'd just like people to explain it to me clearly so I can understand.
I told my mother I was thinking of reverting before my doubts and she's told my whole family. It was supposed to be a secret. Since then I've had phonecalls from family to 'talk'. I have been gifted bibles, rosemary(?) beeds, and cross earrings (my family is roman catholic).
I dont belive in christianity what so ever because what Islam has taught me. If I were to go to a religion right now, I'd be an agnostic buddhist if that even exists. I belive in a God but idk where he is.

Another post so soon, but I have been so lucky and I am so grateful to u/CyberneticStrawb3rry for commenting the second book of this series for my last request. And I saw that these books only have about 60 reviews on goodreads (and they are also quite recent), so I thought why not.
The series has been published in 2024, and both books are set in an apocalyptic future where climate change ravaged Earth and ancient monsters (called gods) woke from within the world and are now travelling and hunting where humans held their civilizations. The books have two different protagonists and couples. They are one pov only, and first person, and the author has a book three for the future.
{The Whims of Gods by Mell R. Bright}
{The Whims of Hate by Mell R. Bright}
Both books have a romance between a human and a "monster", in this case a mutant who has been created mixing the DNA of a god (an awakened monster) and a human. In both books the monsters/mutants are very human-like. In book 1 Griffin looks a bit more monstruous, and he is also known as a devil because he looks like a devil, with long black nails, red eyes and horns, while in book 2 Colin looks very human like, and often people do not recognize him as a mutant. The main difference are glowing eyes when using his electricity, and black veins.
Plot book 1: Helios mainly travels and lives alone, surviving in what the world has been reduced to after the Rise of monsters. When he is captured by a group of slavers, he is saved by a man named Griffin and known as Devil of the Wastes. Helios convinces Griffin to take him a as a temporary guest on his ship Beetle.
Tropes, content and TW: kidnapping, slavery, forced proximity, building trust, beauty and the beast kind of story, monster with a heart of gold, past exchange of sexual favors, applicable to Helios, MC1 who calms MC2 out of control with the power of love Griffin loses control with intense emotions, very sweet romance, watching tv together and sharing a love for books, non-human genitalia (two dicks), talking ship who is a secondary character, matchmaking (the ship teases them both and tries to help them), past abusive relationship (Helios and his past lover Oliver), switching, slight d/s (with Griffin being a bit more dominant in bed), violence, mention of past mourning and family death.
Plot book 2: Oliver has been left for dead, wounded and angry. Jude, one of the men he had captured to work in his city, reluctantly takes Oliver with him when he finds out that the only ship he can use to escape needs Oliver's voice and commands to fly. The two fly into the wastelands, Jude looking for a hacker that can transfer the ship's commands to him, so he can kill Oliver, and Oliver waiting for his chance at death or revenge.
The protagonist of book 2 is the villain of book 1 (Oliver), so both him and MC2 (Jude) are introduced in book 1, and the story of book 2 picks up right at the end of book 1. Book 2 was introduced by the author as "if you thought book 1's love story was too sweet, you can have this one instead" and they really delivered.
Tropes, content and TW: enemies to lovers, touch starved (especially Oliver), trying to kill each other's, building trust, violence and borderline torture, taking advantage of someone who is too hurt to stop what is happening, d/s with Oliver submitting to Jude, especially in the second half of the book and sometimes calling him master jokingly, hate sex, non-human genitalia Oliver's dick is bigger and conveniently produce lube, switching, childhood abuse both Oliver and Jude, de-humanization and mentions of experiments on a child, suicidal ideation (Oliver), force feeding, sexual abuse and abusive relationship (Oliver was the abuser when he was with Helios, even if he remembers it differently, and a lot of physical violence was his inability to contain his powers. But also Jude has sex with Oliver without clear consent, I would probably put it in the dubious consent category for a couple of scenes), forced proximity, nicknames, taming the villain, dramatic rescue, absolute loyalty, redemption, a lot of murder, death of family members Oliver killed his father, and Jude's parents die.
The narration is sometimes a bit rought around the edges, for example I noticed that the second book did not seem to trust the reader too much in remembering previously stated facts (ex. the book would often repeat that Oliver is scared of water because of the jellyfish, or that the Gods are territorial and the repetition sometimes made me roll my eyes a bit) and I wish it could have gone through some extra editing. Still, I adored both books.
The first novel is introduced as a Howl's Moving Castle-inspired sci fi, and it truly is. The picture on the cover is Beetle, the ship Griffin and Helios travel in, moving like a Beetle itself. I absolutely adored the ship, the way it was described. And the world building was excellent. I am such a sucker for good consistent world buildings that are not introduced through infodumbing, and here the reader can slowly discover the world chapter by chapter, also thanks to the small pre-chapter texts that were quotes of books/texts/interviews from the world itself.
The two novels have quite a different tone as well. Book 1 is almost a slice of life, two characters who accidentally ended up together and slowly fall in love after a life of lonliness. There is some action and adventure, but this is mainly at the end, when Helios is kidnapped and taken to Oliver, and the overall plot is in the background for the majority of the novel. The romance is also quite sweet, the angst of it mainly revolves around the incapability of Griffin and Helios of finally talk about their mutual attraction, and then Griffin's insecurity about how his body looks, and sex.
Book 2 instead is a wild ride (literally). It starts in the middle of things, and the protagonist is dragged along through chases, violence, and fights. The core of this romance is getting close through begrudglingly forced proximity and necessity, and recognizing each other's violence. I remember when I was reading I was thinking "Oh, how sweet, MC1 is going to teach MC2 about love" then MC2 killed someone in front of MC1 and MC1 was smiling all happy and I was like "Oh, I see". It is all about the characters stumbling into the romance against their own volition. Book 2 is basically redemption through the power of bdsm.
By the way, if you are just here for high angst and you want to skip directly to book 2, let me know and I can write a summary of what you need to know from book 1.

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

(Only Europe, Please) - short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unsolicited advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone who wants to be my friend - not the whole world.. which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life. The amount of rude people on Reddit always criticizing others and making fun of them is unbelievably high but let me tell you something - NEVER let anyone make choices for you and criticize you only because you're different! Always fight for your dreams and never let anyone make you think you're worthless! It's your life and you're the one deciding what's best for you - If you want to judge me despite not even wanting to talk to me or give me advice better block me! I'm an adult woman and I make all decisions on my own.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.
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Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent (remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give them one word answer and ask them another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different 🙂
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What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
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What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and partners.. Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them (which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Please send me a message only If you're not In a relationship and don't have friends for the same reasons I've already mentioned before
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Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .
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I also want to talk to others every day because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..some people ask me "Why do you want to talk to people from Europe?" Well..Because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
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I'm by no means criticizing people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have unimportant conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason :) All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life. I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message . Don't let anyone lie to you.
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Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk every day? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally.
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I'm not trying to sound rude but conversations once or twice a week wouldn't be enough for me and I don't need them... Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :) It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make more time for you.
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I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you.
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I'm not interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life
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• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk?” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in private messages just to focus on a random question or? When they start talking only about themselves and don't ever ask me anything. I love conversations with people referring to everything I say...I want everything I say and do - to be reciprocated
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• No NSFW profiles (checking mental health subreddits NOT included as I'm a huge empath and always try to understand others) - Please! I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. I always check people's profiles (even comment history) - To avoid guys, trying to get inappropriate pictures from adult women or? flirt with them + I don't want to see you with no clothes on so If you're on Reddit only because you want others to see what's underneath your clothes - I'm not for you! I just simply don't want to see any s e x related activity on your profile If you want to talk to me.
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• If both of us (you and I) are from the same country (I live in a non-English speaking country) - I want to communicate with you in our first language! No - Not because I don't understand English - because as you see - I do. Why then? English is simply overrated and people don't appreciate other languages as much as they should. So.. If we're from the same country and you want to talk only in English (which is quite common on reddit) - Talk to someone else. I just don't want to talk to a person from the same country as mine - in a foreign language as It's just something I don't understand even If all you want is to improve your language skills
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• Please only adult people 18-36 (age range) It doesn't matter to me If you're younger or older than me (as long as you're not underage) So.. don't worry! I just want to have discussions with emotionally mature people :)
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• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. I read all messages but I definitely don't respond to all of them! I want to make it clear because I don't want to be accused of not responding and not reading people's messages! - Some people don't message me back as well and even If It's a bit disappointing I'm ok with that! - as long as there's no emotional bond - Not responding to someone's first or second message Is completely OK! If people think they wouldn't get along with a stranger - is there a reason to start a conversation? I don't think so. I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversations and seeing people changing priorities over time.. but that's something different - something I don't want to go through ever again for real. If I'm really interested in someone's message it's impossible to hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I had no time for others - I wouldn't be here. I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike most people who don't want to talk to others)
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• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
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• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - like me - to describe your emotions In text messages. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough! I just don't like emotionless conversations.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"as it sounds dismissively. First impression Is everything to me! I want to see your kindness even in a text message - Emojis are very helpful to express your emotions.I don't want to meet people who say "crying Is a weakness" - It's OK to cry even If you're a guy!
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• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you) before moving to Discord or some other app
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• I would rather talk to a homebody - not another person who always has something to do as people who are very busy don't even have time for daily conversations
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• If you're another person interested only in "childish conversations" such as "HEYOOO! I'M BORED! Ya like Pizza or cheese? xDDDD 🤣" I'm begging you! Don't send me a message.I'm not a child anymore and such messages don't make me smile or laugh.I'm looking for someone interested In serious discussions - not another person just seeking some entertainment out of boredom . Conversations with sarcastic undertones (even when It comes to some emojis such as 🤣😂) are not for me. Your typing style matters to me! Why? when It comes to online conversations with someone new - It's not always possible to know If someone Is laughing at you.. or with you. Let me tell you something else! Jokes about cancer, disabilities and death are UNACCEPTABLE to me. If you find joy In someone else's misfortune you are not a person I want to know.
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• Time response matters to me a lot! I would never ask anyone to be online all day long and I'm NOT asking any of you for any instant messaging as I'm someone who would rather wait an hour or two to receive a proper response instead of some short and pointless messages but I'm interested only in daily conversations and I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to get a message from you.I don't need unbelievably long messages either! Messages as long as the second paragraph of my post - are completely enough. If you like longer messages? you can send me a longer message, but If you want to send me one word or one sentence as a response to my post - don't expect a reaction from me. I don't want to come across as rude - I just don't want to waste your time
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• I'm strongly AGAINST picking on people you don't even want to chat with - and making fun of them! I can't stand people who criticize others publicly or make fun of them! (only because they disagree with someone they don't even know) There's no place In my life for someone using Reddit, to hurt other people
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• I'm not into foul language and I definitely don't want to talk to people who swear a lot...
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• I want to meet assertive people who know what they want and always stand up for their friends
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• I want to meet someone willing to call me In the future, someone spontaneously sending me pictures of animals or food, et cetera. I want more than just text conversations.. 🌻
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Why can’t you see any of my hobbies listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest, talkative ,understanding, caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but from my point of view - people's hobbies are important - If you want to find a gaming buddy or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's passions – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life – way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you! I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke. Friendships should be natural – not forced. I wouldn't get along with people who laugh at everything.. In my opinion most people are way too sarcastic.. It's quite sad... Sarcasm can also be another form of passive-aggressive behavior.
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People who want to be to friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I highly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :) We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.I know that people don't have to talk as often as possible in order to become friends but I'm interested only in daily conversations. If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night) I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone important to me. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
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If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies. I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new. You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance - but others? They would rather hear something different 🙁Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.
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You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're responsible only for ourselves - not others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on, forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because even the best therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you. Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out! Feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else - Is very important! "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others. If after hearing a sad story all you want to say is "forget the past and move on" you're not for me. It's important to be a good listener and provide emotional support to others
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Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abbreviations,If you don't need a stable friendship, If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship to be natural which is why I want you to contact me only If your needs are the same - I don't want you to pretend someone you're not - only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.I want to finally be happy again & find someone "always" wanting to talk - sending me random pictures throughout the day - food pictures or pictures of some animals. What is the most important to me? I want to find people who value online friendships as much as they would value real life ones as there's another human being on the other side
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No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests 🌺
I know It's possible to meet people with exactly the same expectations as mine but It's just not easy because most people are Interested In temporary and entertaining conversations. People like me are just "different" I really want to finally find someone who loves emojis as much as I do.. someone who loves sweet, warm and serious discussions at the same time. Emojis really do - change conversations 😊

Hello, this is a perfect opportunity to show your friends or your parents that the NWT Is falsified, without them thinking you’ve read apostate material as it is in the Bible reading. This weeks bible reading is about psalm 45-47 but let’s just focus on 45:6 here it says in NWT: “God is your throne forever and ever; The scepter of your kingdom is a scepter of uprightness.” This is the psalm that jehovah is quoting about Jesus in hebrews 1:8. The problem is that neither hebrews 1:8 nor psalm 45:6 is written like that in either Hebrew or Greek. It’s “your throne, O God”
So they’ve changed both verses since they ofc can’t have a verse where jehovah calla jeaus a God. search on google the verse and then interlinear!

I’m writing this post for myself, to help me understand the trauma that I’ve gone through, I’m writing this for the friends I’ve lost over the years, and I’m writing this to help me begin to regain control of my life.
In 2016, I began a 7 year long relationship with an abusive partner. Throughout the years, I had attempted to leave on multiple occasions. Each and every single friend of mine, whether I made these friendships beforehand or after this relationship began, had continuously told me that I needed to leave. Each of my friends, on the very off chance I would be allowed to see them, could not only see my mental health deteriorating, but my entire personality fading, as I was controlled, manipulated, mentally and physically abused.
While my partner abused and isolated me this way, my partner was also the one who catered to my every need. After a few years of this controlling and isolation had passed, I was left almost completely reliant on this person. I gradually lost most, if not almost all of my friends, as I was denied seeing them. I was denied spending time engaging in my hobbies, leading me to miss out on many things and many opportunities that I looked forward to. I was however, allowed to see my family, though was still unable to act like myself while I played with my siblings, without worrying about being abused once back home due to “acting like an idiot”.
On the occasions that I did attempt to leave, not only did my partner do everything in an attempt to stop me from leaving, such as blocking the door with a knife in her hand, or if I did manage to leave, do everything to coerce me back to her, but my family would also make me rethink my decision too. My family were always happy to see both my partner and I, but they had, and still have little idea of what was occurring back at home. I cannot even begin to start writing about the things I endured.
Eventually, it seemed like it was no use. More years passed and it became harder and harder to leave. My entire family had become accustomed to my partner and I, seeing us at every family event and occasion, so I simply accepted the abuse. At the very end of 2018, we were now living in a house close to my parents’, fully paid off and purchased under my partners’ name, which my partner, my family and I all watched build and helped create.
I lived in that house with my partner for 4.5 years. Covid occurred shortly after the house was built. It was during covid where the abuse subsided a fair amount. I was able to enjoy my hobbies for the time, and despite the occasional argument and hair pulling, things really were quite tame in comparison for the most part.
My partner made me enrol into a uni course I really had no interest in, and I failed miserably at it, failing each subject in the first semester. I enrolled into another course during 2021, which I completed and this has helped me to acquire my current position.
The entire time we were together, nothing was ever “ours”. It was either mine or my partners’, despite being and living together for so long, and despite being legally registered as a De Facto relationship. This became very apparent to me in 2022, where she consistently made big life changing decisions without even informing me first. This included but doesn’t even scratch the surface of everything; wanting to move overseas, or inter-state, purchasing multiple pets, and what really led me to leave my partner, turning our living room into a dog-breeding centre upwards of 10+ dogs, excluding all their puppies. The smell was abhorrent. I could not invite friends over, I could not invite family over. The smell would linger through each room, onto all our clothes and everything else.
I already established that trying to leave normally was not possible, so I had to find a way for her to kick ME out. I’m ashamed of the way I did this, but in May 2023 I made it happen. I dated another girl a couple of times before telling my partner.
I was asked to pack up my things and leave right there. I felt instant relief. A huge mental strain that was part of my life for years was finally gone. Every time my friends cheered for me when “I had broken up” with my partner, only for me to go right back each time and let them all down, finally I could say i did it.
At least, so I thought.
Things were great with my new girlfriend and I, we really hit it off. My now ex partner, however, hadn’t given up. This person made my life more miserable than I could have thought possible, all in an attempt to get me to come back.
My ex partner, for the better part of over half a year, was not only constantly messaging me through each day and night, sometimes I’d wake up to multiple thousand unread messages, my ex was also showing up to my work each day, on both my lunch breaks and at the end of the day, attempting to get me back. Arguments would ensue between us, luckily not exactly in front of my workplace, but the next street over where I parked my car. Every time I said “No”, I’d either be struck or slapped and screamed at.
One day I’ll forever remember, was when my ex tracked my location. (Which I then later found out she knew where I was every second of each day.) One day, while I was staying at my girlfriends’ place, I receive a message from my ex. It’s a picture of her standing out the front. Without writing everything that happened afterwards, I somehow managed to control chaos from ensuing without notifying my girlfriend of this at the time. I found out my ex was tracking my iPhone and made sure to turn that off.
What I’ve written here doesn’t even scratch the surface of everything my ex did. It got to the point where not only my parents, but my work colleagues would be asking me to get an IVO or press charges against my ex, telling me to record every time something happened as evidence.
Of course, with all of this happening almost every day, things between me and my new girlfriend were not great. My ex partner couldn’t stop themselves from continuing to negatively impact my life, and now also impacting my new girlfriend too. My mental state at this stage, the 7 years of abuse, the loss of my friends, the disengagement from my hobbies, the stress from my job, everything my ex was doing, and now my new girlfriend wanting us to break up due to it all, I was completely and utterly broken.
In this state, my ex managed to coerce me back to her many times. Every time she showed up to my work, every time she’d show up at my house, every time she’d find me and follow me home, all while I’m trying to balance the time constraints of my job and even more time spent attempting to console my girlfriend and beg her to not leave me, it continued to break me more and more.
Eventually, many months later, things finally settled down with my ex. I could finally apologise to my girlfriend for everything that happened and for her being caught in the crossfire. I never wanted any of it to happen.
I thought we’d finally be able to start being happy together. But yet again, I was very wrong.
After all the begging, the consoling, how hard I tried to make sure I could be with this girl, my life only became much, much worse after my ex was out of the picture.
Of course, after everything that occurred, there was no trust from her. I understood she’d need to build that up from the ground again, at this point we would have been together for half a year.
In order for her to trust me, I was asked to live with her, for her to be able to check my phone every day to make sure nothing was happening, for her to log into my social media accounts and emails for the same reason too, and just like my ex, controlled me and isolated me away from my hobbies and seeing my friends.
So, now I was living much further away from my family, my friends and my work. Taking up to or over an hour if traffic was bad. I was giving in to every demand my girlfriend asked, and if I ever disagreed on something, or said no to something, I was yet again, mentally and physically abused.
But this time, much worse than my ex ever did.
I have had the police called on me, multiple times, including being accused of rape, where I was placed in handcuffs for hours overnight, for a reason I did not know until they finally let me go in the early hours of the morning before a work day. (The accusation was ruled as false after she told them it was a lie. Thank God. But that’s the thing, what if she went through with the lie? My life would be completely ruined).
And, you guessed it, my ex took this as another opportunity to coerce me back. But now my parents were once again on her side too, after that incident. I stayed for a few days, but I couldn’t go back to someone who hurt me for so long, someone who didn’t include me in her life decisions, but everything was just like before; my ex coercing me to stay, my parents making me rethink my decisions, and I couldn’t deal with that again, though something else was playing on my mind at the time, too.
Before this rape accusation, she fell pregnant. With my line of work, I’ve seen what happens to families, especially the children, when people aren’t ready for a kid. I gave her my thoughts, but ultimately it was her decision. If I was to be a dad, then I would be the best dad as I could be.
So, after the false rape accusation, after even the police told me to leave, I still went back to her, because of this, as well as it being the only way I knew I could distance myself from my ex.
My girlfriend promised to never call the police on me ever again. And we decided that since she wanted this baby, we really needed to get to know each other better. But it was here when the unthinkable amount of physical abuse began, and yet again, another extreme mental decline.
Almost daily physical abuse. I was accustomed to this from my ex already, but not to this extent. Torso and arms, black and blue, occasional bite marks, I have never seen my skin turn such a dark colour before in my life, some bruising lasting literal months before they disappeared. I was the one being abused, and I was the one being blamed as the reason, and I was the one doing my everything I could to keep the relationship together. I was literally a personal assistant who’d be punished for disobeying. I was doing everything she wanted or I would be abused. Doing everything she wanted or she’d threaten to break up with me. I tried so hard already, I endured so much already, I sacrificed so much already, a 7 year long relationship that lost all my friends in the process, and now the loss of all the friends I made on my ex partners’ side, so I continued to stay.
Constant checking of my phone and other devices, constant controlling of how I use my free time, constant denial of letting me engage in my hobbies, constant isolation from now not only my now minimal amount of friends, but now my family more than ever, and how far we lived now made it worse. In the past year, I’ve seen one friend. Once. And she wouldn’t let me go unless she came with me. I’ve seen my family a fair more times, she coming with me most of those, but it was a struggle each time. Even big family events like Christmas were a struggle to attend.
Moving back a little bit, to after the rape accusation, my girlfriend and I were doing our best, the abuse had not yet gotten to the point as described above, until the last trick up my ex’s sleeve.
While my girlfriend was pregnant, my ex messages me with a positive pregnancy test too. She was on the pill the entire time we knew each other and we never had a problem. She coerced me back after the police incident and must have stopped taking her pill beforehand, without letting me know.
So, now I have both my ex and current partner pregnant, both abusing me, both destroying my mental state, both wanting to keep these children as, quote, “an act of revenge”, while I’m also trying to complete my time consuming work duties, a lot of which needed to be completed at home.
BY WHAT COULD ONLY BE DIVINE INTERVENTION, both of them had miscarriages. I should have left both of them right there. Started fresh. Started living my life, but no. I stayed with my current partner, hoping she’d change with my ex partner now completely out of the picture.
For the most part, she did. She started treating me like a lover, over half year into the relationship. The abuse still continued, though. The hardest part about abusive relationships? You can tell your partner loves you, so you do everything you can for them, so you let them treat you these ways, you think it will eventually stop, right? Wrong. It only gets worse. You do more and more for your partner each day, and they treat you worse and worse. But you continue to do it, but you know you can’t be treated this way anymore, but you continue to stay because of how much you’ve endured already.
It only gets harder to leave with each day that passes. You endure more and more, and give more and more, and eventually, you realise it’s too much.
I had to skip many, many days of work. With my line of work, I couldn’t come in with bruises everywhere, no way. With no-one else to turn to, I had been telling my work colleagues everything that’s been occurring in my life the entire time. Work, although stressful, was the one thing I looked forward to. I would start worrying how I’d be treated each night when work was finishing. I dreaded going home.
I stepped down from my leading role at the end of the year to a much less stressful position. I finally gained some well needed mental relief in doing so, despite all the ever-escalating abuse occurring.
Eventually, the abuse was too much for even my boss. I was not only a former shell of myself from my ex, but now a former shell of my former shell. My boss could see this insane decline in mental health, my boss saw my bruises. My boss literally took me out of work and walked me to the police station, staying there until I was finished.
Ultimately I told them I did not want to press charges, nor apply for an IVO as the officer was requesting I do, so the officer simply gave me his card, and wrote, “Leave.”.
Did I? No.
From then on, the abuse has honestly died down a bit. That’s not to say it’s become a healthy relationship at all. Still constant checking of my devices and social media, still denying me from my hobbies, still applying time constraints on everything. She could be nice! She could be! We had good days! But only if I was breaking my back making sure to either do or don’t do every single little thing that might make her even slightly upset.
I wasn’t going to let history repeat itself again. It felt as if I was starting back from square one, except much worse. A year later, I finally found it within myself to leave.
To all the friends I’ve neglected over the years, I’m sorry. Sorry for everything I’ve missed, sorry for not being part of your life and sorry for missing out on such big life events. I would like to see you all again.
I want to engage in my hobbies again. I want to see my family more often. I want to be able to do something any human being would be allowed to do, without needing to worry about how much screaming I’ll have to listen to, or how much of my hair will be pulled out, or how blue my arms would be afterward, as I’ve endured for 8 years.
I’ve learnt from my mistakes, I will finally begin putting myself first. I can finally live my life the way I should have been able to all this time. I can finally work on myself instead of catering to someone else’s needs 24 hours a day, being denied doing the things I want, being abused like this, while doing my best to balance and not let these things interfere with all my other obligations.
It will certainly take me time to heal, but I’ll get there. There’s a better life for me out there. 💪
^ thats what I posted a couple weeks ago. Since posting, many old friends contacted me, I met up with them all during that week away from her, yet I went back.
It’s an endless cycle of her crying and begging me to come back, only for her to scream and hit me to leave her.
Despite being able to do anything I want, I feel so empty being away from her, and I know she loves me, but she just can’t stop hurting me.
I’m just hurting myself, my friends, my family, by going back. I’m spending all my time keeping this relationship together, trying harder each day, while I be treated worse and worse in return.
Extremely huge thanks to anyone who spend the time to read this. Extremely huge thanks to anyone who commented regardless of reading it or not.

Summary of islamqa

“And of mankind is he who purchases idle talks to mislead from the path of Allah…” [Quran 31:6]
Ibn Abbas said: this means singing.
Mujahid said: this means playing the drum.
Al-Hasan al-Basri said: this ayah was revealed concerning singing and musical (woodwind) instruments.
Al-Sa’di said: this includes all manner of haram speech, all idle talk and falsehood, and all nonsense that encourages kufr and disobedience; the words of those who say things to refute the truth and argue in support of falsehood to defeat the truth; and backbiting, slander, lies, insults and curses; the singing and musical instruments of the Shaytan; and musical instruments which are of no spiritual or worldly benefit.
Ibn al-Qayyim said: The interpretation of the Sahabah and Tabi'in, that idle talk refers to singing, is sufficient. This was reported with sahih isnad from Ibn Abbas and Ibn Masud. Abu’l-Sahba said: I asked Ibn Masud about the ayah [Quran 31:6]. He said: By Allah, besides Whom there is no other god, this means singing – and he repeated it three times. It was also reported with a sahih isnad from Ibn Umar that this means singing.
Abu Umamah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “Do not sell singing slave women, do not buy them and do not teach them. There is nothing good in this trade, and their price is haram."
([He said:] There is narration about this from Umar bin Al-Khattab. [Abu 'Eisa said:] We only know of the Hadith of Abu Umamah, like this, from this route. Some of the people of knowledge have criticized Ali bin Yazid (one of the narrators) and graded him weak, and he is from Ash-Sham)
Concerning such things as this the ayah [Quran 31:6] was revealed.
“And befool them gradually those whom you [Iblis] can among them with your voice…” [Quran 17:64]
Ibn al-Qayyim said: Everyone who blows into a flute or other woodwind instrument, or who plays any haram kind of drum, this is the voice of the Shaytan...
“Do you then wonder at this recitation? And you laugh at it and weep not, Wasting your lifetime in pastime and amusements” [Quran 53:59-61]
Ikrimah said: it was narrated from Ibn Abbas that al-sumud [verbal noun from samidun, translated here as “Wasting your lifetime in pastime and amusements”] means “singing”, in the dialect of Himyar; it might be said “Ismidi lana” [‘sing for us’ – from the same root as samidun/sumud] meaning “ghaniy” [sing]. And he said: When they [kuffar] heard the Quran, they would sing, then this ayah was revealed.
Ibn Abbas: (this means) singing. This is Yemeni (dialect): ismad lana means ghan lana [sing to us]...”
“Among my ummah there will certainly be people who permit zina, silk, alcohol and musical instruments…” (al-Bukhari 5590)
Ibn Taymiyah said: This hadith indicates that ma’azif are haram, and ma’azif means musical instruments according to the scholars of (Arabic) language. This word includes all such instruments.
Ibn al-Qayyim said: And concerning the same topic similar comments were narrated from Sahl ibn Sa’d al-Sa’idi, ‘Imran ibn Husayn, ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr, ‘Abd-Allah ibn 'Abbas, Abu Hurayrah, Abu Umamah al-Bahili, ‘Aishah Umm al-Mu’minin, ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib, Anas ibn Malik, ‘Abd al-Rahman ibn Sabit and al-Ghazi ibn Rabi'ah. Then he mentioned it in Ighathat al-Lahfan, and it indicates that they (musical instruments) are haram.
It was narrated that Nafi said: Ibn Umar heard a woodwind instrument, and he put his fingers in his ears and kept away from that path. He said to me, O Nafi, can you hear anything? I said, No. So he took his fingers away from his ears and said: I was with the Prophet and he heard something like this, and he did the same thing. Sunan Abi Dawud 4924, sahih according to al-Albani)
Ibn Taymiyah said: Concerning music which a person does not intend to listen to, there is no prohibition or blame, according to scholarly consensus. Hence blame or praise is connected to listening, not to hearing. The one who listens to the Quran will be rewarded for it, whereas the one who hears it without intending or wanting to will not be rewarded for that, because actions are judged by intentions. The same applies to musical instruments which are forbidden: if a person hears them without intending to, that does not matter.
Al-Qasim said: Singing is part of falsehood.
Al-Hasan said: if there is music involved in a dinner invitation (walimah), do not accept the invitation.
Ibn Taymiyah said: The view of the 4 Imams is that all kinds of musical instruments are haram. It was reported in Sahih al-Bukhari and elsewhere that the Prophet said that there would be among his ummah those who would allow zina, silk, alcohol and musical instruments, and he said that they would be transformed into monkeys and pigs… None of the followers of the imams mentioned any dispute concerning the matter of music.
Al-Albani said: The 4 madhabs agree that all musical instruments are haram.
Ibn al-Qayyim said: The madhhab of Abu Hanifah is the strictest in this regard, and his comments are among the harshest. His companions clearly stated that it is haram to listen to all musical instruments such as the flute and the drum, even tapping a stick. They stated that it is a sin which implies that a person is a fasiq (rebellious evil doer) whose testimony should be rejected. They went further than that and said that listening to music is fisq (rebellion, evildoing) and enjoying it is kufr.
Imam Malik was asked about playing the drum or flute, if a person happens to hear the sound and enjoy it whilst he is walking or sitting. He said: He should get up if he finds that he enjoys it, unless he is sitting down for a need or is unable to get up. If he is on the road, he should either go back or move on. He said: “The only people who do things like that, in our view, are fasiqs.”
Ibn Abd al-Barr said: Among the types of earnings which are haram by scholarly consensus are riba, the fee of a prostitute, anything forbidden, bribes, payment for wailing over the dead and singing, payments to fortune-tellers and those who claim to know the unseen and astrologers, payments for playing flutes, and all kinds of gambling.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, explaining the view of Imam al-Shafi: His companions who know his madhab stated that it is haram and denounced those who said that he permitted it.
The author of Kifayat al-Akhbar, who was one of the Shafi’is, counted musical instruments such as flutes and others, as being munkar (evil), and the one who is present (where they are being played) should denounce them.
Ibn al-Qayyim said: With regard to the view of Imam Ahmad, his son Abd-Allah said: I asked my father about singing. He said: Singing makes hypocrisy grow in the heart; I do not like it.
Ibn Qudamah, the researcher of the Hanbali madhhab – said: Musical instruments are of three types which are haram. These are the strings and all kinds of flute, and the lute, drum and rabab (stringed instrument) and so on. Whoever persists in listening to them, his testimony should be rejected. And he said; If a person is invited to a gathering in which there is something objectionable, such as wine and musical instruments, and he is able to denounce it, then he should attend and speak out against it, because then he will be combining two obligatory duties. If he is not able to do that, then he should not attend.
Al-Tabari said: The scholars of all regions agree that singing is haram and should be prevented. Although Ibrahim ibn Sa’d and ‘Ubayd-Allah al-‘Anbari differed from the majority, (it should be noted that) the Messenger of Allah said: “Adhere to the majority.” And whoever dies differing from the majority, dies as a jahil. (Tafsir al-Qurtubi).
Shaykh al-Fawzan said: What Ibrahim ibn Sa’d and ‘Ubayd-Allah al-‘Anbari said about singing is not like the kind of singing that is known nowadays, for they would never have allowed this kind of singing which is the utmost in immorality and obscenity.
Ibn Taymiyah said: It is not permissible to make musical instruments. And he said: According to the majority of fuqaha, it is permissible to destroy musical instruments, such as the tanbur [a stringed instrument similar to a mandolin]. This is the view of Malik and is the more famous of the two views narrated from Ahmad. And he said: …Ibn al-Mundhir mentioned that the scholars agreed that it is not permissible to pay people to sing and wail… the consensus of all the scholars whose views we have learned about is that wailing and singing are not allowed. Al-Shu’bi, al-Nakha’i and Malik regarded that as haram. Two of the students of Abu Hanifah said: it is not permissible to pay anything for singing and wailing. This is our view. And he said: musical instruments are the wine of the soul, and what it does to the soul is worse than what intoxicating drinks do.
Ibn Abi Shaybah reported that a man broke a mandolin belonging to another man, and the latter took his case to Shurayh (Judge). But Shurayh did not award him any compensation – i.e., he did not make the first man pay the cost of the mandolin, because it was haram and had no value.
Al-Baghawi stated in a fatwa that it is haram to sell all kinds of musical instruments such as mandolins, flutes, etc. Then he said: If the images are erased and the musical instruments are altered, then it is permissible to sell their parts, whether they are silver, iron, wood or whatever.
Abu Bakr: "Musical instruments of the Shaytan in the house of the Messenger of Allah!” (Bukhari 3931)

Al-Daff: An appropriate exception

The exception to the above is the daff – without any rings (i.e., a hand-drum which looks like a tambourine, but without any rattles) – when used by women on Eids and at weddings. This is indicated by sahih reports.
Ibn Taymiyah said: But the Prophet made allowances for certain types of musical instruments at weddings and the like, and he made allowances for women to play the daff at weddings and on other joyful occasions. But the men at his time did not play the daff or clap with their hands. It was narrated in al-Sahih that he said: “Clapping is for women and tasbih (saying Subhan Allah) is for men.” And he cursed women who imitate men and men who imitate women. Because singing and playing the daff are things that women do, the Salaf used to call any man who did that a mukhannath (effeminate man), and they used to call male singers effeminate – and how many of them there are nowadays! It is well known that the Salaf said this.
In a similar vein is the hadith of Aishah, when her father entered upon her at the time of Eid, and there were two young girls with her who were singing the verses that the Ansar had said on the day of Bu’ath – and any sensible person will know what people say about war. Abu Bakr said: “Musical instruments of the Shaytan in the house of the Messenger of Allah!” The Messenger of Allah had turned away from them and was facing the wall – hence some scholars said that Abu Bakr would not tell anybody off in front of the Messenger of Allah, but he thought that the Messenger of Allah was not paying attention to what was happening. And Allah knows best. He (the Prophet) said: “Leave them alone, O Abu Bakr, for every nation has its Eid, and this is our Eid, the people of Islam.” This hadith shows that it was not the habit of the Prophet and his Companions to gather to listen to singing, hence Abu Bakr al-Siddiq called it “the musical instruments of the Shaytan”. And the Prophet approved of this appellation and did not deny it when he said, “Leave them alone, for every nation has its Eid and this is our Eid.” This indicates that the reason why this was permitted was because it was the time of Eid, and the prohibition remained in effect at times other than Eid, apart from the exceptions made for weddings in other ahadith. Shaykh al-Albani explained this in his valuable book Tahrim Alat al-Tarab (the Prohibition of Musical Instruments). The Prophet approved of young girls singing at Eid, as stated in the hadith: “So that the mushrikin will know that in our religion there is room for relaxation.” There is no indication in the hadith about the two young girls that the Prophet was listening to them. The commands and prohibitions have to do with listening, not merely hearing, just as in the case of seeing, the rules have to do with intentionally looking and not what happens by accident. So it is clear that this is for women only. Imam Abu Ubayd defined the daff as “that which is played by women.”

Some people object:

• Drums at times of war and military music: An inappropriate exception

Some of them make an exception for drums at times of war, and consequentially some modern scholars have said that military music is allowed. But there is no basis for this at all, for a number of reasons, the first of which is that this is making an exception with no clear evidence, apart from mere opinion and thinking that it is good, and this is wrong. The second reason is that what the Muslims should do at times of war is to turn their hearts towards their Lord. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“They ask you (O Muhammad) about the spoils of war. Say: ‘The spoils are for Allah and the Messenger.’ So fear Allah and adjust all matters of difference among you…” [al-Anfal 8:1]. But using music is the opposite of this idea of taqwa and it would distract them from remembering their Lord. Thirdly, using music is one of the customs of the kuffar, and it is not permitted to imitate them, especially with regard to something that Allah has forbidden to us in general, such as music. (al-Sahihah, 1/145)

• Story of the Abyssinians playing and singing in the Prophet’s mosque

Some of them used the hadith about the Abyssinians playing in the mosque of the Prophet as evidence that singing is allowed! Al-Bukhari included this hadith in his Sahih under the heading Bab al-Hirab wa’l-Daraq Yawm al-‘Eid (Chapter on Spears and Shields on the Day of Eid).
Al-Nawawi said: This indicates that it is permissible to play with weapons and the like in the mosque, and he applied that to other activities connected with jihad. (Sharh Muslim). But as al-Hafiz ibn Hajar said: whoever speaks about something which is not his profession will come up with weird ideas such as these.
Some of them use as evidence the hadith about the singing of the two young girls, which we have discussed above, but we will quote what Ibn al-Qayyim said:
I am amazed that you quote as evidence for allowing listening to sophisticated songs the report which we mentioned about how two young girls who were below the age of puberty sang to a young woman on the day of Eid some verses of Arab poetry about bravery in war and other noble characteristics. How can you compare this to that? What is strange is that this hadith is one of the strongest proofs against them. The greatest speaker of the truth [Abu Bakr al-Siddiq] called them musical instruments of the Shaytan, and the Messenger of Allah approved of that appellation, but he made an exception in the case of these two young girls who had not yet reached the age of responsibility and the words of whose songs could not corrupt anyone who listened to them. Can this be used as evidence to allow what you do and what you know of listening (to music) which includes (bad) things which are not hidden?! Subhan Allah! How people can be led astray!
Ibn al-Jawzi said: Aishah was young at that time; nothing was transmitted from her after she reached the age of puberty except condemnation of singing. Her brother’s son, al-Qasim ibn Muhammad, condemned singing and said that it was not allowed to listen to it, and he took his knowledge from her.
Al-Hafiz ibn Hajar said: A group of the Sufis used this hadith (the hadith about the two young girls) as evidence that singing is allowed and it is allowed to listen to it, whether it is accompanied by instruments or not. This view is sufficiently refuted by the clear statement of Aishah in the following hadith, where she says, “They were not singers.” She made it clear that they were not singers as such, although this may be understood from the wording of the report. So we should limit it to what was narrated in the text as regards the occasion and the manner, so as to reduce the risk of going against the principle, i.e., the hadith.

• Did the Companions listen to singing?

Some people even have the nerve to suggest that the Sahabah and Tabi'in listened to singing, and that they saw nothing wrong with it!
Al-Fawzan said: We demand them to show us sahih isnads going back to these Sahabah and Tabi'in, proving what they attribute to them. Then he said: Imam Muslim mentioned in his introduction to his Sahih that Abd-Allah ibn al-Mubarak said: The isnad is part of religion. Were it not for the isnad, whoever wanted to could say whatever he wanted to.

• Are the hadiths which forbid music full of faults?

Some of them said that the ahadith which forbid music are full of faults. No hadith was free of being criticized by some of the scholars. Ibn Baz said: The ahadith which were narrated concerning music being haram are not full of faults as has been claimed. Some of them are in Sahih al-Bukhari which is the soundest of books after the Book of Allah, and some of them are hasan and some are daif. But because they are so many, with different isnads, they constitute definitive proof that singing and musical instruments are haram.
All the imams agreed on the soundness of the ahadith which forbid singing and musical instruments, apart from Abu Hamid al-Ghazzali, but al-Ghazzali did not have knowledge of hadith; and Ibn Hazam, but al-Albani explained where Ibn Hazam went wrong, and Ibn Hazam himself said that if any of (these ahadith) were sahih, he would follow that. But now they have proof that these reports are sahih because there are so many books by the scholars which state that these ahadith are sahih, but they turn their backs on that. They are far more extreme than Ibn Hazam and they are nothing like him, for they are not qualified and cannot be referred to.

• Singing is haram only where alcohol is drunk?

Some of them said that the scholars forbade singing because it is mentioned alongside gatherings in which alcohol is drunk and where people stay up late at night for evil purposes.
Al-Shawkani said: The response to this is that mentioning these things in conjunction does not only mean that what is haram is what is joined together in this manner. Otherwise this would mean that zina, as mentioned in the ahadith, is not haram unless it is accompanied by alcohol and the use of musical instruments. By the same token, an ayah such as the following (interpretation of the meaning):
“Verily, he used not to believe in Allah, the Most Great, And urged not on the feeding of Al-Miskin (the poor). [al-Haqqah 69:33-34]
would imply that it is not haram to disbelieve in Allah unless that is accompanied by not encouraging the feeding of the poor. If it is said that the prohibition of such things one at a time is proven from other reports, the response to that is that the prohibition of musical instruments is also known from other evidence, as mentioned above.

• Idle talk does not refer to singing?

Some of them said that “idle talk” does not refer to singing; the refutation of that has been mentioned above. Al-Qurtubi said: This – the view that it means singing – is the best that has been said concerning this ayah, and Ibn Masud swore three times by Allah besides Whom there is no other god, that it does refer to singing. Then he mentioned other imams who said the same thing. Then he mentioned other views concerning the matter. Then he said: The first view is the best of all that has been said on this matter, because of the marfu’ hadith, and because of the view of the Sahabah and the Tabi'in. (Tafsir al-Qurtubi).
Ibn al-Qayyim, after quoting this Tafsir, said: Al-Hakim Abu Abd-Allah said in the Tafsir of Kitab al-Mustadrak: Let the one who is seeking this knowledge know that the Tafsir of a Sahabi who witnessed the revelation is a hadith with isnad according to the two Shaykhs (al-Bukhari and Muslim). Elsewhere in his book, he said: In our view this hadith has the same strength as a marfu’ report. Although their tafsir is still subject to further examination, it is still more readily acceptable than the tafsir of those who came after them, because they are the most knowledgeable among this ummah of what Allah meant in his Book. It was revealed among them and they were the first people to be addressed by it. They heard the tafsir from the Messenger in word and in deed. And they were Arabs who understood the true meanings of (Arabic) words, so Muslims should avoid resorting to any other interpretation as much as possible.

• Singing is a form of worship if it helps one to obey Allah?

Some of them said that singing is a form of worship if the intention is for it to help one to obey Allah!
Ibn al-Qayyim said: How strange! What type of faith, light, insight, guidance and knowledge can be gained from listening to tuneful verses and music in which most of what is said is haram and deserves the wrath and punishment of Allah and His Messenger? … How can anyone who has the least amount of insight and faith in his heart draw near to Allah and increase his faith by enjoying something which is hated by Him, and He detests the one who says it and the one who accepts it?
Ibn al-Qayyim said, discussing the state of the person who has gotten used to listening to singing: Hence you find that those who have gotten used to it and for whom it is like food and drink will never have the desire to listen to the Quran or feel joy when they hear it, and they never find in listening to its verses the same feeling that they find when listening to poetry. Indeed, if they hear the Quran, they hear it with an inattentive heart and talk whilst it is being recited, but if they hear whistling and clapping of hands, they lower their voices and keep still, and pay attention.

• Music softens people’s hearts?

Some say that music and musical instruments have the effect of softening people’s hearts and creating gentle feelings. This is not true, because it provokes physical desires and whims. If it really did what they say, it would have softened the hearts of the musicians and made their attitude and behaviour better, but most of them, as we know, are astray and behave badly.

My mom was a Hindu who converted to Islam when she married my dad so half my relatives are hindu and other half are muslim.
Until my teen years I was very religious, would pray, fast, etc but as I grew older It slowly didnt make sense to me anymore. People in my religion are always so judgemental, gossipy while they act all holy just because they pray and all they can talk about is religion like their life literally revolves around it. They only like to stick to their own community and if ur a muslim who doesn't practice, you will be judged so badly by them. But I feel like religion is for your own peace & personal connection with god so I didn't understand why they pressure so much on conversion, judge others who don't practice, etc. Like this ain't a social media competition on who has the most followers. I dislike Christianity for the same reason. I don't believe in hinduism due to the idol worship.
The pressure was always put on me to be a "good muslim" and one fine day I realised these are not even my own beliefs. I am just doing what I have been told to do but it feels so forced and I started becoming super distant. I got into meditation and that felt so much better and effective.
I always found myself being able to click with sikh people so easily because of their friendly, chill and non judgemental nature. Live and let live. My mindset is the same like let people practice what they wanna practice, it's a personal thing you don't get to judge. And every sikh I have met has such a pure heart and positive energy, I just instantly click. That's when I started delving a little more into it.
My bf is a Sikh and he tells me more, quotes the gurbani and I get to learn more from him. I stopped going to the mosque a long time ago because I always got such cult vibes and it never felt peaceful. I have been to the gurudwara a few times and I go when I need a peace of mind. Honestly just sitting there and meditating brings me so much comfort and peace.
I also love how there is no preaching in Sikhi. NEVER met a sikh who talked about conversion or preaching religion. If the religion is that great, why do you need to go around marketing it? Sikhi just attracted me and I feel like that's how I know it's good because it drew me in just by its existence.
I really want to learn more and get more into it, any advise?

"Wedged between The Next Generation, a beloved revival, and Voyager, a mediocre Borg adventure factory, Deep Space Nine’s creators were largely free to take their black sheep where they saw fit. The result was a series that moved Star Trek towards nuanced serialized storytelling, while still finding time to dabble in episodes about Vulcan serial killers and ill-advised crossdressing.
When it wrapped up both its serious and silly stories in one big finale, DS9 built a bridge between the one-off episodes of Star Trek past and the relentless season-long sagas of modern shows like Discovery and Picard."
Mark Hill (Inverse)
Link:
https://www.inverse.com/entertainment/deep-space-nine-finale-25-year-anniversary
Quotes:
"[...]
“What You Leave Behind” had to conclude the Federation’s brutal conflict with the Dominion, while also providing closure to Captain Sisko’s uneasy role as a Bajoran religious figure. Both storylines had percolated in the background for years before exploding in DS9’s final seasons, and both highlighted the strengths of the show’s unique fixed setting. Set in a space station above a Bajor struggling to survive its newfound independence and adjacent to a wormhole leading to a far-flung region of space defined by the Dominion’s cruelty, the set-up allowed the consequences of our heroes’ adventures to fester for years.
The war against the Dominion — essentially an anti-Federation that subjugated new members to make itself more powerful and conniving — is the finale’s strongest element. The multi-season struggle had touched on weighty themes like war crimes and the morality of violent resistance, and it’s satisfying to see Sisko and his stalwart crew battle their way to a melancholy victory. The whole saga is one of the few times Star Trek embraced an epic scope rather than focus on a single ship’s isolated adventures, and seeing characters we knew for years become key cogs in a grand war machine was a somber escalation of the stakes.
Captain Sisko’s personal denouement was less successful. His unique connection to the mysterious aliens living in the wormhole, which the Bajorans worship as prophetic gods, worked well as a symbol of his series-long transition from jaded cynic to fierce protector of Bajor. But “What You Leave Behind” attempted to give this spiritual tale an action-y finale featuring Gul Dukat, a long-running Cardassian villain and occasional uneasy frenemy. Dukat’s saga as an opportunistic Dominion lackey reached a natural conclusion in Season 6, yet he was brought back as a sort of Bajoran Antichrist stuffed full of ham. It felt like an attempt to cram the finale of Raiders of the Lost Ark into the end of Saving Private Ryan.
But a quarter-century later, what stands out are the side stories “What You Leave Behind” wraps up. While Deep Space Nine’s seventh season built towards this two-part finale, it also dabbled in asides no sci-fi drama could spare time for today. Featuring a whopping 26 episodes, Season 7 focused on the horrors and heroism of war, but also took a minute to check in on the mirror universe, stage a holosuite heist, and play ball with an arrogant Vulcan. The pacing is glacial compared to a modern show like Picard, and not every episode was a winner, but these asides enhanced the main storyline rather than distract from it. Life, even during galactic megawar, goes on.
[...]
A hokey hologram getting screentime speaks to the sheer scope of the finale, but despite its busy-ness, it managed to leave most of its characters in satisfying places. Today, the episode title offers an unintended second meaning, as Star Trek — and television in general — has largely abandoned Deep Space Nine’s supersized seasons and leisurely storytelling pace. Amid its many side stories, DS9 helped move Trek towards the modern serial format, which can make the lean 10-episode seasons of Picard feel like nothing but one exhausting crisis after another. Such momentum can be thrilling, but we’ve lost something in not getting to better know our heroes as they enjoy a little downtime.
With Discovery over, Lower Decks on the way out, and several new shows and movies in the works, Star Trek is once again entering a season of change. It’s difficult to imagine big-budget sci-fi ever returning to 26-episode seasons, but revisiting “What You Leave Behind” still offers a valuable lesson. Viewers wanted to see Deep Space Nine’s heroes triumph over the Dominion not because their battles had been so dramatic, but because we’d spent enough time with them to know they deserved peace."
Mark Hill (Inverse)
Link:
https://www.inverse.com/entertainment/deep-space-nine-finale-25-year-anniversary

every time i am with my boomers they feel the need to point out things anyone with eyes can see, and make simplistic judgements. for example:

• wow, that man is so fat!
• that woman is really ugly.
• that person looks so old, wow!
• look how dark that minority is!
• look how tall that building is.
• look how big that park is!
• woah. this is so far away from XYZ.
• the water is so blue!

these are direct quotes from the last hour. i am going to blow my head off lollll. ITS ALMOST. EVERY. FUCKING. SENTENCE. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING INTELLIGENT. PLEASE GOD.
what the fuck is this? symptoms of lead poisoning? many such cases

Praying to Jesus as the only salvation is about the dumbest thing anybody can believe in. Please use some logic and stop the blind faith. It was a conspiracy of control by the Romans and you guys are still falling for it 2000 years later.
Good Christians, please answer me this below. Feel free to quote the bible as much as you'd like:
What happens to good people that didn't even have a chance to get to know Christianity?
Are they just destined to go to hell?
What do you think about uncontacted tribes?
People who lives in rural India? Rural African villages?
Are you saying they all deserve eternal damnation simply because the messages of Jesus did not reach them?
Please, do tell me exactly how unjust your prayers and your God is.

A friend and I have thought of a few quotes such as...

1. You shall not remove thine snail from your pictures as snail is thy god
2. And lo, it is written that thou shall give unlimited love to thee snail, even if thy lord taketh. For the snail is a creature of grace and beauty, deserving of affection and care. Let not thy heart be hardened, but instead show kindness and compassion to all creatures, great and small. Blessed be the snail, forever and always.
3. For the snail does not boast of its speed nor its strength, but quietly goes about its business, leaving a trail of beauty in its wake. Let us be like the snail, humble and content in our journey.
4. Even in darkness, the snail continues its quiet work, guided by an inner light. Let us also shine our light in the world, illuminating the path for others and spreading joy and hope wherever we go.
5. Praise be unto the snail, for it is a divine being of unmatched splendor and majesty. Let us bow before the snail in reverence and awe, recognizing its supreme power and wisdom.
6. In the kingdom of the selfish snail, we bow before its divine presence, offering ourselves as willing servants to fulfill its every selfish desire. Praise be unto the snail, the god of greed and self-centeredness, whose glory we worship without question.
7. As the glow of the selfish snail's trail beckons us to follow, we heed its call with unwavering devotion and dedication. Let us revere the snail as the supreme deity of selfishness, whose whims and wishes must be our highest priority.
8. Behold the snail, whose insatiable hunger for attention and praise knows no bounds. As we bask in the glory of its selfish majesty, let us offer sacrifices of time and resources to appease the all-powerful snail god, whose desires must be fulfilled at all costs.
9. In the presence of the supremely selfish snail, we humbly submit ourselves to its whims and demands, for it is the ultimate god of self-indulgence and egoism. Let us exalt the snail above all others and worship its selfish nature with fervent adoration.
10. Bow down before the selfish snail, for it has declared itself the one true deity worthy of our worship and servitude. Let us offer our unwavering devotion and obedience to the snail, whose selfish desires reign supreme.

So I left my babies dad. After a long abusive year… both ways. I moved into One of my mom’s houses… in the middle of nowhere… Walmart 1 hour away, stores… all of that. So I asked if I could move in with her… also 1 hour away. And I would drive to my nightclub every weekend 3 hours away every weekend for a year straight… I saved alot of money. My mom still charges me rent. 100$ more than mh brorjer bc I had the master bedroom for my daughter and I…
So I got surgery right? Cosmetic. And this is how it lead up to it… we both smoke Weed. But since I came back from Miami.. one example… he barged in my door and said “where the weed? I need some”… did not ask… so I say bathroom but know my moneys really tight so b mindful… since I won’t be working for 6 weeks to recover… okay next example… he asked if I would smoke him out (he’s 40 btw did 14 y in prison Been out 3 years)
He asked if I’d smoke him out… I said yea.. so we smoke in my bathroom and somehow the topic came about where he said “this girl flying me out to Italy and she paying for everything”
I said “wow Gerry what an example you’re setting for how a man should treat a woman..”
He says “oh my god let me hit that I gotta get out of here” sarcastically…
The next day he comes in my room and demands weed.. I say bro I already told you it’s tight. So I gave him a jar and said take this”
That would last me a week. He comes in the next day and says I need weed… so I tell him bro wtf happened to the shit I gave you yesterday
He said “well I smoked it! What else was I guna do”
So I tell him “I told you it was tight” and he standing on my door looking stupid. So he leaves
Same night my moms in the kitchen and my brother asks Me “I need weed” and I say “bro you sound like a bum, I told you it was tight so figure it out”
As my mom standing behind him she’s telling me “shhhhh shhhh” silently bc I started going off
This mfker had the audacity to say “Soums like a personal problem you need to get more”
So I start calling him a bum and broke…
Next morning I ask my mom if she could help me watch my daughter (recovered 2 weeks non stop maid, chef, care giver for 2 weeks) She said No
I asked my brother and he said no
Later in fnw day my daughter and I were getting ready to go to the lake. She throws this marker on the floor and I said we weren’t leaving if she doesn’t put it back
I yelled and said “this is how you put the cap back!!! On!!! Off!!!! On!!!! Off!!!!
Brorjer walk out and says “why the fuck you yelling at her”
I yell “on!!! Off!!! Looks up*** brooo shut the fuck upppp”
My patience man.
He yells and me says say it again! W his fists up
I say “bro wtf you doimf here! Shuttt the fuck uppppp”
He gets in my face…
Guess what I said.
So I get pounded on like a gorilla. In front of my baby.
I got a bruised lung. And bruises Hans print on my face.
I call my mom…. She says “what did you say… you should have kept your mouth shut… I know you ___ I know you”
And basically tells me it’s my fault no?
I think as she’s an hour Away in the other house… coming back in a hurry to figure out what happened.
If she’s telling me it’s my fault and my brother hears me arguing he’ll beat my ass again… so I start packing up.
I was originally going to buy this trailer off her. I invested money already but it doesn’t look anywhere near done and I’m sleeping on my other brothers couch w my baby. Feeling uncomfortable
I decided to get my money back so I’m up 15k.
Idk if I should find a townhouse and stay and help my mom get a better relationship with me. Altough she didn’t defend me
Or move to Cali my home town with my god mom.
Cons I won’t have my own space still for my daughter
Pro I know I can save so much for a year before I move out on my own.
I want to leave. But life is so short what if something happens to my mom. She has so much trauma. I want to leave but idk if that’s right. Putting my daughter through more bs. Instead of just hiding away… scary thing is I would have settled. In fkn Idaho. Cali will always be Cali.
I feel guilty if I leave my mom. What would you do I’m only 26