To remind me why I went NC and also to confirm to myself they are in fact fucked up and not normal, like I thought at the time.
Here are just some samples of his gems over the years;

• This one was when I was like 4? Idk, told me this a few times over the years, I don't remember not knowing it lol: “You were an accident, your younger sibling was more planned, because we wanted someone to play with you, so you’d bother us less about it." Also "I never really wanted kids untill I saw my coworkers little girls run up to him yelling daddy, daddy. Then I did want that." And "I think your mom did want to get pregnant with you, so that she could get away from her controlling parents. ” He’d say it in a cheerful, casual way, I don’t even think he was trying to hurt me really.
  
• When I was 7 or 8: “I don’t want to be a regular dad, I want to be more like a friend you can share everything with”. He was talking about dating and sexual stuff, he was weirdly eager for me to talk to him about that. He didn’t usually care to listen about much else, that I actually wanted to talk about, like my school or interests. It was always him unloading his problems on me and me being flattered that he was "treating me like an adult" and actually having conversations with me lol.
  
• When I was 14: “You know, I lost my virginity at 11 with a girl from the same apartment block, but we didn’t really know what we were doing. I waited a long time before I had sex again”. I really didn’t want to know that, thanks. He was trying to have another one of those talks where I can "share everything".
  
• When I was 15/16 and he found a new partner with her own younger kids which he started actually parenting: “I want you to visit me more often, so you can see what a real family looks like”. That one still hurts. I never really felt part of his new family, I felt very much like I was there to observe him finally get his perfect life he always wanted, but we failed to give him.
  
• This was when I was 16/17 and his new partner was pregnant with his son. Also I had just lost a bunch of weight: “You look great now. I love "my partner", but honestly, I’ve always been attracted to thinner women”. That made me feel super disgusting. Also, I lost weight cause mom had no job and we were super poor at the time (electricity, heating and phone all got shut off at one point, a lot of our main meals were just cup noodles and often that was my first meal of the day). Plus I was developing an eating disorder cause I loved the admiration that being underweight was getting me from society. But I didn’t want him to comment on it, especially not like that…
  
• Also when I was 16/17 and he’d just taken a massage course: “Make sure when you choose a partner that he knows something about giving massages, cause then you’ll know he’s good at touching a woman’s body”. This isn’t verbatim but it captures the gist of the weirdness that was that comment. He was also often eager to give me a massage and I always felt weird about it and avoided it.
  
• When I was in my 20s and he was separating from his second partner, putting his 7yr old autistic son in the middle and badmouthing her in front of him: “He already knows she’s the reason we’re not together anymore, he’s a smart kid. It doesn’t matter if I complain about her faults to him, because he can also see them.” At that point I was still hopeful he could change (he had the capacity to show remorse for his poor choices, something my mom still lacks).
  

After I saw him treat my baby brother exactly the same as how he treated us in the divorce when we were that age, I just couldn’t do it anymore. No contact for almost 3 years now and I barely even feel guilty anymore (except over not being there for my brother).
He also shilled Herbalife for years, loved every get rich quick scheme and hated that he had to pay CS for us. He was also a flat eartheantivaxxer last time we spoke, so you can probably imagine exactly the type of narcissist he is. He's tried to reach out several times with "how are you"s and invitations to birthdays, but I stayed away. I just can't, it makes my skin crawl.

In 2021 Peter (36M) my best friend since childhood got engaged and asked me to be best man in his wedding. In the years since a lot has happened: he's had a baby, and I separated from my wife, met my girlfriend, Nina (39F), found a new job, and moved to a new state.
With everything that's happened communication between us isn't what it used to be. But I definitely have noticed there has been no effort made at all on Peter's side since the move. He hasn't even met my Nina or asked about my new job.
This week I received an invitation to Peter's wedding in October. Nina was included rather than being a plus one which I was actually very appreciative of. To RSVP there was a wedding website his fiancée had made with information about the wedding.
One of the sections on the page was "Meet The Party" and it had photos of each member of the bridal party along with who they were and how they knew Peter and his fiancée. I scrolled past the bridesmaids only to see a photo of Peter's younger brother listed as Best Man. I'll admit I was very surprised and disappointed.
I showed Nina and she was angry too on my behalf so I tried to call Peter but he didn't answer and instead texted me shortly after asking if everything was okay. By this point I was really irate and said it wasn't okay and asked when he'd planned to let me know I wasn't best man any longer.
He rang me back then and said he'd not wanted to offend me but asking his brother seemed to be the best solution since I live out of state now and we "don't talk anymore". I got angry then and pointed out he was the one to stop reaching out. Then he got defensive and said the last one to make contact was him and after that he'd begun to match my "effort" and if I didn't like that then it was my own problem.
I'd argue that a true friend, upon not hearing from their supposed best friend for five months would possibly reach out? Especially when that friend is undergoing some large life changes? Apparently Peter didn't agree and said we've just "grown apart" but if I wanted to attend the wedding as a guest he'd still love me to be there for old times sake.
I declined and said he should tell his fiancée to remove our acceptance from her website or however it works. Peter just said "if that's how you want to be". I hung up at that point and Nina comforted me in my frustration, and helped me word a text back to Peter expressing that I was hurt already that he shows no interest in my life anyway and to be dropped from the wedding party after only a few months of low contact was unacceptable and shows the kind of people he and his future wife are.
Peter texted back after a while saying it's gone on a lot longer than that and inviting me had just been as a courtesy but the invitation was rescinded due to me being a "raging asshole" which I think is incredibly unfair.
So was I a "raging asshole" or am I right to think this is incredibly rude and hurtful of Peter?

Hi, first time posting in this group.. I kinda know the answer already, but I struggle because my MIL is a narcissist so at times I feel tricked into believing she has good intentions, just for her to do some BS.
VENT.
Ever since I met my (now husband then boyfriends) family I’ve always gotten the impression they don’t like me.
My husbands family is very conservative and Christian, and both are veterans, I was raised in a cult so I’m not big on the whole Christian thing, (also I’ve got tattoos, colored hair, stretched ears, and piercings, I’m definitely an alt/hippy/adam Sandler style) I’ve set a boundary of please don’t preach to me, I have BAD religious trauma and I’d rather just not get into that topic. MIL CAN NOT respect that boundary, she thinks if she teaches me differently it’ll be ok, NO. after her repeatedly crossing my boundary, one day she handed me a book. The beautiful side of evil, that book is written by a known fraud.. she handed me the book in front of her family, I politely declined the book because it offended me. She said “Oh…” and my husband went and hugged her.. not me, who had my boundaries disrespected, but the one who disrespected me.
Then, before we got engaged, his parents told him “we’re not helping you at all with the wedding” bc they gave their other son 20k for his wedding, just to have it end in divorce 700 days later. So kinda understandable.. not really tho but whatever.
When me and my husband moved in together, his mom went through hoops to exclude me from family pictures, she had a group chat made without me.. couples pics were a thing too which is weird bc why wouldn’t you invite me? I live with your son? Like? Anyways I have my partner call his mom & ask why I’m not included. She gaslights him saying it was an accident and she thought I was in that group chat..even though she purposely made a NEW group chat without me to talk about the family piics, went through hoops to not mention it around me, and a week before I’m invited…. THEN the photographer does family pics. One without me one without brother in laws (now ex) wife. Just the in-laws and their kids.. tell me WHY my MIL uses one picture with me in it and crops me out and hangs it on the family wall?? It’s a bad crop too, my husband is missing half his body lol. Like yall took that same picture without me? Why use the picture with me to crop me out?
Anyways. Moving on. When it came time for my birthday, I’ve never celebrated my birthday. Never had a party like I said previously. Raised in a cult. Mil is going on and on about “I’ll be your real mom I’ll celebrate you” this was a few years ago. But for my cake she gets me a chocolate coffee cake, the kind from Walmart that’s presliced… I’m allergic to chocolate & she KNOWS. Then she hands me a cook book and says “I initially got this for my son, but realized he doesn’t like it so, YAY, I don’t have to buy you a gift”( BITCH YOU AINT BOUGHT ME A GIFT TO BEGIN WITH WAT? ) —what I wanted to say, but didn’t haha.
Then my husband decided to propose to me, so who better to bring to pick out rings than mommy dearest? (Could’ve literally brought any one of my sisters but I digress) before I say this, I love my ring, it’s cute, it’s unique which I wanted, heart shaped diamond. It’s just under a karat. Ok. Don’t come for me bc I’m not complaining.
After I got proposed to, we went to dinner or something with his family to celebrate, and my mother in law was so sure and loud to tell me, how she talked my husband out of so many rings and talked him into a smaller one (the one I have) like she’s literally bragging to me how she convinced my husband to get me something smaller bc I don’t deserve a big diamond yet.
For the wedding I got no help, she didn’t ask me shit, no dress shoppping, cake testing, nun. so I decided to have a back yard wedding, we asked to use her backyard and she agreed. 2 weeks before the wedding she puts her house on the market… making everything so hard for us, the house doesn’t sell, and immediately after the wedding she takes the house off the market… I feel she did that to fuck us over and make it all more difficult.
We moved to a different state right after we got married, and I love to do monthly recap posts. This is a new level of petty i don’t know. But she’ll go and only like the pictures of my husband and his dog. Not my cats, not a selfie of me, and not a selfie with my husband. She won’t like the whole post either, only pictures of her son, and if there isn’t any, she’ll like one nature picture in the mix. At first I thought it was weird but didn’t think much. But it’s been a year and a half of this shit so now I think it’s ok purpose.
My birthday was a few days ago, my husbands family all posted texted me happy birthday, she ignored me until 2 days later and said “happy birthday I didn’t get you anything. I’ll treat you to girl time when I see you next” in other words. I didn’t get you shit and I’m not getting you shit.
The one time I stood up to her after being disrespected (I have a plethora of stories) I raised my voice a level to make my point clear. I don’t scream, I don’t yell. When I left, mil claimed to everyone I’m abusive to her son, and I’m loud and scary.
Oh and I’d like to add, I got nothing, no love, support, or money for anything from them. They told m husband before we got engaged they aren’t helping so don’t ask. Tell me why this past year she gave her son 15k to pay his light bills and rent and phone bills and pay his car off… then he totals the car she bought him and paid off … but like I couldn’t get a real wedding? You just got 20k to throw at middle child’s wedding that we all knew the marriage wouldn’t last, you can give your horrible oldest son 15k+ to pay off his late bills??? But I asked to use your backyard to get married bc you refuse to help us, and bc you didn’t want to help so bad you put the house up for sale. & she has the audacity to say she loves me and has no problem with me when I tried to get to the bottom of this… the math ain’t mathing. Oh and because they “felt so bad they couldn’t (wouldnt*) help out for the wedding “ they offered us their time share to honeymoon at… I don’t have any fucking money to go on a honeymoon… it was once a month they nagged us bc they wanted to use the time share for their vacations. We haven’t had our honeymoon still.
Thank you all for reading those who came this far, I have a ton more of stories, i don’t know why mothers gotta act this way.

So my fiancée (F, 27) and I (M, 26) are getting married in November. We have been planning our wedding for nearly a year now. Throughout the planning process, my mother has been absent at best when it came to helping, always claiming to want but would book events for her business on the dates we would agree to meet to work on planning or trying on suits for me. We got her to meet for dress shopping for the mothers, but that became a disaster since when we got there, my mom refused to try on any dresses, which was very difficult throughout the day. My mom has been firmly saying that her responsibility is the rehearsal dinner. She states that putting this event on is the groom's family's job.
Nevertheless, my future MIL has been very involved in the wedding planning. She has supported me throughout the last couple of months, being a fill-in for my mom regarding things like suit shopping and general groom's activities.
So, regarding the issue and point of this post, Two weeks ago, my mom informed me that my brother was bringing a plus one that I didn't know about and wasn't planning for this person to attend. We weren't planning on giving everyone a plus-one because we planned to keep the wedding guests to family, close friends, and their serious partners. When I told my mom this, she responded with etiquette states that everyone should get a plus of their choice. We contacted my brother and discovered the person he was bringing was considered a serious partner, but I was unaware of their connection. So, we didn't have an issue with this additional person being added once that information was collected. While sorting this out, my mom asked who of her friends were invited. I reviewed the guest list and didn't notice anyone I'd considered a friend of hers. I informed her of this matter, and she became upset. I reminded her that she was told she could invite people she wanted to be at the wedding, and had even asked her for addresses for our save the dates that went out earlier this year. We did ask that she limit herself to two people, seeing as this is the number of people we offered to my father and my fiancé’s parents. She remained upset and said she wasn't in a suitable head space for the conversation then. We respected that and asked her to provide us with her intended invitees by the end of the current month.
Several days later, my mom brought up via text who would be the guest for the rehearsal dinner. During this conversation, she informed us that she intended to have my aunt coming from out of town attend the rehearsal despite not being a part of the wedding party or having anything to do with the wedding. We responded to this we would not like there to be anyone who is not immediate family or those who are in the wedding party to be at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner at the time; we were trying to limit the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner to a small group do as to not have the night before the wedding be stressful. A large portion of the wedding guests were coming from out of state. My mother then stated that etiquette for these parties states that you invite everyone who is traveling to the rehearsal dinner to ensure everyone gets a good meal. My fiancée, and I double down on how we would like it to be a more private event. My fiancée, who was becoming frustrated, responded that she did not want to talk about this anymore. My mother asked, “Why does everything have to be a fight with you?” I had to spend the night consoling my crying fiancée because my mother decided to attack her verbally.
I called my mom and attempted to confront her about all this. She became upset and said we weren't allowing her to bring her who she wanted. I reminded her that she was but was limited to the two friends. She said she could never pick two people, and doing so would upset anyone she didn't like, but she still refused to give the names of people she had in mind. We are starting to believe that she invited people without informing us and is now embarrassed.
The next day, my mother added me, my father, my future MIL, and my fiancée into a group chat and began demanding the addresses of everybody from out of town because she was going to send out invitations to the rehearsal dinner to all of them. Since it is her financial burden, then she will handle it. Due to the prior night's events, I responded to this group by saying that she needed to speak to me directly and that since it is the groom's family's responsibility to throw this event, then I should be the one who is the point of contact for the couple. My mother ignored this message and continued sending messages in the group chat about needing more information quickly so they could book the venue for the dinner. My fiancée and I discussed and agreed that if she wants to put out the bill for 100+ people to go to dinner, then so be it. Still, we also decided that we would be handling the mailing of the invitations since we were concerned that many of the out-of-state family members did not know who my mother was and would not recognize her name when they received a letter in the mail from her, so we offered to add her invitations in with our RSVPs for the wedding. We went on the website designing our RSVPs and made a sample of what she could order for her invites for the rehearsal dinner. We sent these samples to her in the chat so she could see them and give us feedback on what she would like changed. She was having quite a difficulty and requested that the font and sizes be different. When we informed her that the website that we were using didn’t allow for that, she became upset.
At this point, my future MIL accidentally sent a message in the group chat that was intended to go directly to my fiancée, saying just let her order the ones she wants so she can send them to her friends as she sees fit. My future MIL did apologize for the message, since it was kind of petty but was just trying to help calm her daughter down. When my mother saw this message in the group chat, she became irate, declared that she was done and was canceling the rehearsal dinner, and refused to be involved in this wedding anymore on a planning and setting up basis, but said that she would be there on the day of the wedding in support of her son. My mother then made a nasty comment towards my mother-in-law, stating that no wonder her daughter-in-law doesn’t speak to her anymore because of how unbearable she and my fiancée are.
So Reddit, am I the asshole for not letting my mom invite as many people as she wants to my wedding. Her only monetary contribution has been around $2000, whereas my fiancée's parents have each contributed quite a bit more, and understand they can't invite whoever they want, and the rest of the costs are being covered by me and my fiancée.

A somewhat long read.
It was 8AM on Sunday morning and I was sitting at my kitchen table just browsing on my laptop at various things. Nothing really important. I'd finished many of the morning chores as I'd been up for a few hours already. The result of being a perpetual early riser. I was calm and relaxed and as I think back now it was one of the first times I've felt that way in several months. For those who know me and have read about what's been happening in my life this feeling has been a rare occurrence.
As I was thinking about the tasks for the day I thought I heard a light knock at my back door. My dog was stirring but not overly excited. He's the type that will jump and whine with excitement whenever someone comes by. This time he was quite calm and I had to question if I even heard anything at all. I decided I should have a look. As I got closer to the door I looked out the window beside it and saw someone I thought I'd not see for several more months if at all ever. I paused for a moment as I looked and I can only imagine the expression I reflected back.
There she stood looking back at me with a nervous look herself. We hadn't seen eachother since early February when she had come back to retrieve a few items for a trip. I opened the door and we just looked at eachother for what seemed like hours. I spoke first and said "I didn't think I'd ever see you again". She responded with "I'm just here to get my tax information and some clothes". I asked if she was just back today. She said she'd been in town a week and was hiding out at her dad's house. I invited her in and she ask me for a hug. He request surprised me but I obliged. It was awkward and familiar at the same time. I said "let's talk" and motioned to go back outside to the padio. I offered her water and a jacket as it was there was still the morning coolness in the air.
As she began to talk it was easy to see she was nervous. I can't say I was much better but I thought I held it together quite well. She picked at me about things she'd heard about and noticed. Things such as me having a yard sale and her garden trinkets all being removed. All I could really say was that as far as I knew she was never coming back and I was cleaning up my life and moving forward to rebuild. She wasn't really happy with any of it but what would she or anyone else do in the situation had the roles been reversed? She'd been gone for five months and we hadn't talked at all in several weeks. She mentioned that we were supposed to talk on the mother's day Sunday and thought that I'd call her. Obviously I didn't and I think it was best I didn't call and we didn't talk. I needed the emotional break to heal from the crumbling of out relationship and all the what can only really be called toxic communication afterwards. We weren't acidic towards on another but it was easy to see I clearly wanted to work things out while she didn't.
After an hour of us sitting and talking she said she needed to use the washroom. Of course she's welcome to. Everyone needs to at some point. She came in the house and what happened next really angered me. She went past the bathroom and walked into my oldest son's room (he's 20) and curled up in bed with him. When I heard her open his door I walked down the hall to see what was going on. All I could do was stand in amazement with what I was seeing. I turned and walked into my youngest son's room (he's 18) to wake him and warn him about what was happening and what I knew was about to happen to him. Moments later she did the same to him. In intrest of not causing more trouble I allowed it to happen. About thirty seconds later I looked at her and said sternly "OUTSIDE". Of course she obliged. After a decade together she knows when I'm bothered.
I'm generally considered to be a calm and reserved man. I've always been and often to a fault. It's caused me trouble many times over the years. The trouble almost entirely being my inability to set a hold the much needed boundaries in life. I can say I've learned many lessons in the last five months and if anything what I've learned through this whole ordeal has been to better control my emotions when someone oversteps my boundaries. She knowingly did just that and most likely thinking I'd react the same as I once did. She was mistaken.
As she sat back down on the padio chair I said to her "I really wish you hadn't done that". She knew I was upset but still looked at me with bewilderment. I told her how inappropriate her actions were. I spoke about the trouble it would cause with them. Yes, I understand they're both men now and can absorb the variety of pitfalls life will throw at them. Regardless showing up and trying to act like not much has changed is just wrong. Numerous times I said all actions have consequences and her were no different. She attempted to try telling me they were her sons as well but I stopped her and reminded her that the three of us are a package deal. Cut me out and you cut them out as well. To contrast she has a son (currently 25) from her first marriage that she never really made me and my sons part of. I let her know the hypocrisy of it and the trouble it caused. I asked her what she wanted out of life for herself, for me and for us or what we were. She had no answer and just looked at me blankly. Mixed families are difficult at the best of times and all manner of integration should be attempted. It's unfortunate it wasn't. I hear her son is a half decent person albeit somewhat cold. Regardless both of my sons have seen the pain I've endured over the months and really years of our relationship the hypocrisys in it and downfall of it. Ignorance is bliss and that's the look I got from her. Truthful? Who knows? Who cares?
For the most part I was able to keep my composure. For the most part... I did raise my voice a bit and I'm sure she could see the anger and frustration in my eyes. I'm far from being a violent man and lucky for the world that I'm not. At 50 years old I'm a shadow of what I once was physically but there's still a good amount there. I walked away after a few minutes of me letting her know just how I felt about everything saying I needed to cool off. I came back and sat down in front of her moments later and said "OK I'm done". I was calm. She said she had a blast for me too. I said "let's hear it" but she declined saying she wasn't ready. I doubt she was being truthful on it. Not to boast and I'm sure it's people just trying to help me fee better but I've herd many times over the last several months that she was lucky to have me and all thst i did for her. I know I'm not without my flaws and faults but perception is everything. She apologized for how things happened and we began talking again.
Years ago she wanted to vist a naturopath. She felt it would be helpful for a variety of reasons. I always supported her but for one reason after another it didn't happen. She finally did a month after she left. She opened up a bit about her experience and what was discovered. She tells me the bacteria in her stomach is far from normal. I asked her what that meant and she told me it can cause inflammation in many different ways. It can cause various types of aches and pains. And that it can effect brain chemistry and mental health as well. I have no idea if there's any truth to what she told me. It sounded more like a justification for her actions than anything but I don't know. She didn't show me any literature on it or even give me a technical term to research. Regardless, if there's any truth to it, it would explain a great deal of the chaos that has been building over the last few years. I asked her what can be done and she told me she's taking supplements to try and correct it.
As we talked she noticed the garden I built years ago. It was beginning to bloom. She got up and began pulling weeds and talked about what each plant was and what it would do. She thanked me for building it for her and the enjoyment it gave to her and I both. This went on for a while. It almost seemed like old times. After some time I stopped her and said that maybe it was time she got what she came for and that maybe later we could meet and talk more. She said it felt surreal being here. She also said that she wasn't ready to work on us yet. "Yet". That caught my attention. But really, after everything what makes her think that's what I want? Relationships involve two people. Not just one wanting. I believe I did more than my fair share of it. She says to me "you know I have beliefs and maybe the chapter we had is the end of a really great story". I agreed and we both went in the house.
Within a half hour she had gathered what she came for. It wasn't much. She noticed how I had mostly removed her from most of the house. It wasn't an easy task for me and I know it hurt her to see it but what am I to do? I/we can't put our lives on hold. She said goodbye to the boys and I walked her back out to her dad's car. I said "see you in a few hours". She nodded an OK, got in the car and drove off.
She messaged me about a half hour later canceling. I expected as much and responded with an "OK". She thanked me for the time today. I didn't respond.
I have no idea what to think anymore. I crave peace.

Hi, I'm JoJo Mancini. A few months ago, I called out ImJustZander for spreading horrible lies about the Dream Team in a YouTube video you can watch here.
(the links should be bold)
In that video, I discussed how Zander has made three videos about Dream that are obviously fabricated to make Dream look bad, as well as other content creators.

1. In this one he claims "Dream confirmed a really disturbing audio in a fit of rage."
2. In this one he says Dream performed sexual acts towards a Technoblade cosplayer.
3. In this video he summarizes all the stuff he’s said.

In my video, I go through each claim Zander has made about Dream and debunk it, even including clips from Dream's "the truth" video so Dream can speak for himself. The video is chopped into sections, so if you watch it, you can skip to each person I defend.
Anyways, this is the aftermath of everything that has come out since then that I have been sitting on because I wanted to be the bigger person. But since Zander wants to say I’m insane, I’m just going to speak up about every stupid thing ive seen since then
After the video was uploaded, I sent the video to Zander in DMs and told him to watch it fully before he says anything since I had said I would take legal action if he tried to slander me in any way. link to our dms
He makes a paragraph for each point of my video, and my (better) paragraphs correlate to his.
Here are some things I’ve noticed from those chats:

• He always starts off his response to anyone with “I’m a survivor of rape,” which is horrible and I’m sorry that happened, but that is a form of guilt-tripping. While being a survivor of a traumatic event like rape is significant and deserving of empathy, it does not excuse unrelated harmful behavior.
• He then goes on to say that there’s a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff that “victims” are terrified to come forward with. (I’ll come back to this point with Sophie Texas.)
• He says he’s spoken to NatCat about videos he’s posted about Dream and that NatCat has more behind-the-scenes stuff that hasn’t come out yet.

-He says he has a team and a crisis counselor
Crisis counselor
(copy and pasted from my reddit, I want to debunk this right off the bat)
It's becoming increasingly clear to me that this team of researchers doesn't actually exist. In a text he sent me following the video, he mentioned having a crisis counselor on his team to assist the victims. When I requested the email of this crisis counselor to have a discussion, he responded with, "You can’t just demand to talk to my staff; respectfully, anything you need to say, just speak to me. They don’t want to deal with any of the social media stuff." In one part of his message, he states that I must communicate with him, yet a couple of paragraphs later, he concludes with, "This will be my last message because I still feel like you’ll be a little bit combative, and I have so much stuff to do." So, am I supposed to talk to him or not?
Furthermore, he claims that this "crisis counselor" doesn't want to handle social media matters, but they supposedly specialize in assisting victims from social media. Moreover, a crisis counselor typically operates on a hotline, and it's unlikely that he has a 24/7 hotline with just one person. It's also unusual for a crisis counselor to be integrated into a social media team.
Zander doesn't personally know any of the victims in his narrative, yet he supposedly reaches out to them. However, if someone famous were in a dramatic situation and a random person approached them offering to connect them with a crisis counselor, who would agree to that? Anyone with a social media presence (or any level of common sense) would likely be trained to understand that venting to strangers, especially ones who might disseminate what's said, is unwise.
Hypothetically speaking, if this is indeed what's happening, then all the behind-the-scenes evidence we don't see isn't real (obviously).
NatCat
In a now-deleted tweet, (that can be seen in my video at 11:27) he talks about how he always reaches out to victims before he makes his videos, and in dms said he had reached out to NatCat before his videos came out. He says that NatCat never said she was lying or stretching the truth. Obviously, NatCat wouldn’t say she’s lying.
Important note: NatCat and Zander follow each other on Twitter and probably have since the first time Zander reached out. They even have a few replies to each other long after the Dream truth video came out.
After Dream’s video came out, he said he was going to make a response to dreams video. He never does because Dream did an amazing job in his video. but then a month later claims theres other behind the scene stuff that hasn't come out yet
NatCat has multiple tweets saying "leave Dream alone" and "he didn’t groom anyone", also claiming to have spoken to Dream in DMs. I think NatCat is just a confused, sad person. I think she was told stuff that she thought would be helpful if she spoke up about to help victims but just got told shitty information by shitty people. Out of everyone in this post, this is one of two I genuinely feel bad for. Please dont send her hate from this.
in a now deleted tweet I have saved NatCat says "Hey guys, somebody directly involved here! Leave Dream alone dude. Amanda lied and was served legal papers. Anastasia edited screenshots. And Jamie wasn't groomed." (anyone who wants these screenshots can dm me on twitter at jo_jo_mancini)
tweet of natcat saying she was lied too
NatCat later claims, about three months after the Dream truth video with the Sophie Texas situation where Dream says if you have a problem with me then message me, she said in a now-deleted tweet, “Oh, you mean the person I’ve been trying to message for two months? IN TER EST ING.” leaving a month difference where she wasn't trying to reach out to dream after the truth video dropped
NatCat claims she wasn’t groomed and she’s not a victim of Dream’s; she was just lied to. So what the hell is Zander talking about? What is NatCat trying to reach out to Dream with? My bets are on them plotting something against Dream again, and when whatever they made up went public, there would be “proof” of NatCat trying to reach out beforehand. Making the timeline Dream posting his video, one month of them coming up with a perfect lie, two months of plotting evidence, and maybe a future tiktok from zander 🤷‍♀️
But what are the odds that zander would get other content creators who hate dream to tell him their stories so he can make slanderous videos? haha thats crazy talk...
Sophie Texas
If you’re not caught up on the drama, Sophie claims the Dream Team are horrible people behind the scenes. And the “behind the scenes” was her not getting a response in an Among Us game… four years ago… okay.
In one of Zander’s more recent TikToks, he claims not all MCYT are bad, but the ones he’s spoken to are the good ones. And then he name-drops Aimsey TV, MaxGG, and Sophie Texas. name dropping tiktok
There is just no chance Sophie has anything actually bad on Dream except for accidentally being ignored in an Among Us lobby. So what are you talking to Zander about? Are you trying to make your stupid story into a stupid TikTok? Make Dream look bad by spreading lies? I bet. Because it doesn’t matter if Zander is lying or not to brain-dead TikTokers; if someone has enough followers, they must always be telling the truth. Zander always talks about how he helps these creators behind the scenes, and yet this is the list of all the creators he’s supposedly talked to. And before you say, well, there could be others! No, there are not. And no amount of alluding to there being some can actually make these hero delusions come true.
Aimsey TV
So in the TikTok mentioned above, he name-drops Aimsey and says they’ve spoken a little bit, so whatever they talked about, Zander must have liked it since he says Aimsey is a "good MCYT".
And yet, the videos Aimsey could have complimented on are GeorgeNotFound “raping” Caiti, Zander taking clips of Caiti’s VODs (which is against her boundaries) [and I’ll come back to this], Caiti’s and Shubble’s stories being used as a clout grab, and lies about Dream that have already been disproven.
Alright, pick one. Which one do you think she complimented? And the fact Zander lies and exaggerates in each video, and Aimsey still complimented it? What are you, as a content creator, praising this? Especially when there are other content creators out there who are reporting this stuff in support of Caiti without lying or exaggerating? Why not compliment them?
Caitibuggz
Aimsey and Caiti are probably close; Caiti has probably told Aimsey how much she doesn’t like these TikTokers doing this since she told us on stream she doesn’t like it. Caiti Buggz doesn't even like ImJustZander too.
"Even the fact that reporters are messaging me, asking for my take on it all or my comment on it, is insane. Actually, choke! Are you joking? It’s insane!" This is a direct quote from Caiti Buggz, said at 24:19 in this video . The proof that Zander is the reporter she's talking about can be seen at 11:27 in my video. There is a screen recording of his now-deleted tweet, where he says, "Also, my process has always been to see if we can reach out to the victims. Most of the time, we're able to. I have a crisis counselor on standby for if a victim does feel triggered and needs to talk to someone. We weren't able to get in contact with Caiti, so we just went forward with all of our notes from her streams and George's stream."
So if Aimsey isn’t endorsing Zander’s Caiti video, is she talking about the Dream videos? Fork found in kitchen
Before the GNF and Caiti situation even happened, Dream was invited to a party at the same TwitchCon Anaheim. He declined the invite with the infamous "the ops are there." Aimsey also happened to be at this event. The Dream Team knew that the Brighton Bastards didn't like them even before the Caiti-GNF situation. This could be about the accusations that Dream had on him at the time, but Aimsey could have just talked to Dream about it.
A lot of content creators knew Dream was innocent even before his video came out because they actually talked to him. Here's a direct quote from Dream's Reddit:
"Many creators that expressed to me behind the scenes that 'even if the allegations are true' they wouldn't care because they're not a big deal, are some of the same people that were later praised for 'no longer associating with me' due to these allegations. Many creators never asked me any questions at all, even sent private messages of support, and then chose to ask me questions the same day I had drama with another creator they were better friends with. Many creators pretended not to be associated with me publicly, making jokes of the potential abuse, while privately being positive to me. Other creators dropped me as soon as I was no longer working on projects they were heavily invested in. But were perfectly fine 'playing dumb' when it benefited them for their next big stream. Many creators that knew about this specific situation for a long time and hated me long before it, continued to make slights, without me ever having any idea why they were doing it. They publicly attacked me far more than ever saying anything negative towards George. Even though I had no idea of anything remotely about this situation being a thing, and they thought that he was a horrible assaulter. It's incredibly obvious to me that this is because they already hated me, and not because they care about any potential victim, even if they are close friends."
And yeah, Dream’s busy, but I fully believe Dream would have been able to talk things through if he was ever even given a chance.
Also, side note: Zander was saying I was weird and obsessive about Dream even though we don't know each other, but honestly, count your blessings. If I knew Dream, you'd literally be cooked.
Even Prezoh, a close friend of Caiti’s, has Zander blocked, which I'm not entirely sure is from him being annoying or the Caiti situation, 50/50 chance bro is BLOCKED
He says he’s spoken to MaxGG, but the only MaxGG video on his page is the one where Max is screaming for seven minutes. So Max was probably thanking him for that. But that's still odd; he's a reporter breaking your best friend’s boundaries and making GNF out to be a rapist, and you're still praising him? Why?
I think Caiti has been convinced by her friends that the Dream Team are bad people (which is something George himself has said), and she's the only one who genuinely feels hurt by George, while the others are doing everything they can to take down the Dream Team. That's why the other content creators are praising Zander for spreading false info, while Caiti is the one who says she hates that people are getting their info from TikTok or clips or reporters and not from her directly. She says that a lot throughout this VOD.
final thoughts Caitibugzz VOD [March 24, 2024]
Im genuinely interest on what anyone else has to say about this so please leave your thoughts below

Sorry for using a throwaway but my username is too unique and would be found. This has definitely turned into a horror story at this point. Part of me is just fatigued at this point and the other part is apathetic. All names are fake. Flair is just in case for the end.
Jane and I were friends who lost contact with one another. Before that, she talked about playing a ttrpg game irl. By the time we reconnected, I had found a table and was enjoying the game. I said something along the lines of "it's a shame you and I didn't reconnect a month or so sooner because you might have been able to join this campaign and we could play together." A few months later, the table lost a few players right before the chapter boss due to life stuff/conflicting commitments. Our dm, who I'll call Marie, offered that we could recruit someone to join and it might be awkward or she could add more story and side quests and npc related stuff for us. We chose the latter.
Jane knew the players leaving the table and me so she learned the state of the table pretty quickly and seemed to expect to join. When she approached me I told her the table was closed. Unable to accept this, she got pushy with me and another player we'll call Kate who were in the campaign. Eventually, Kate and I went to Marie for advice about this because she is a seasoned dm and player. Marie told us she felt Jane's behavior was inappropriate and a red flag. Marie was upset that instead of requesting to join through her, Jane had attempted to guilt trip Kate and me. We agreed and decided to hold to our original decision and reiterate to Jane the table was closed.
I decided maybe I could try to dm something light and soften the blow for Jane even if I would be a first time dm and maybe that could appease her because she also mentioned in her messages her irl campaign was put on hiatus. I wrote a small story and said I would dm a campaign for 1-2 months, it would be a modular type story where the players could impact things but similar to a visual novel/choose your own adventure I only wrote a handful of scenes and ending options, though most of the scenes minus the intro or finale could be done in any order. Kate, Marie, and Jane were all players. A combination of factors caused it to go wrong and I decided to call the game before the final session. There were factors with most players but for Jane the issue was it felt like she wasn't separating her character from herself and at times she would get pushy on little things that made me uncomfortable as a dm (info on a missing npc I didn't plan for that she had in her backstory that I thought I could plug into the campaign ok, more info from detect spells, etc).
After these things, Jane vented to another friend how she felt that Kate and I felt she was a shit roleplayer and not good enough to play with us, that we were being elitist by excluding her. This hurt and upset both me and Kate, but especially Kate who was a new ttrpg player with less than a year experience under her belt. I personally was more turned off by Jane's attitude, but I still wasn't opposed to trying to play with her at this point because I was her friend and I wasn't as burned as I am now. She cited some of the things I said when just talking about the hobby with friends in discord, like how I said I prefer high rp tables and I would rather play a campaign with an original story than a module and I don't like to play games with too much tech in fantasy settings most of the time (ie guns, airships, robots) but I make exceptions when it is pulled off in creative ways. To be faiin good faith to Jane, she might have taken this all personally since her irl campaign was a very popular dnd module with airships and guns and they had a party artificer.
At this point, the drama with Jane was negatively impacting my main table with Marie. Kate was feeling self conscious and stressed and our party communication broke down ic as we were getting more stressed ooc. Marie, seeing this, and knowing the source did her best as a dm and friend to support me and Kate, but also decided that Jane would be permanently banned from any table she would run in the future.
Things died down a little and I want to think things healed a little. We addressed the problems on the main table and with the matter functionally closed for us and us discussing moving systems due to system burnout but wanting to continue the game we started shopping for a different ttrpg system. A second table opened up at this time and Marie was booked but Kate and I joined it. Jane, especially with Marie having no interest, had nothing in her way, but she surprisingly declined, saying she wasn't interested in the system.
Unfortunately, the second table did not last. We had three sessions over two months before the dm of that game got hit by burnout. It happens to all of us, but I was pretty crushed because it was a system I had wanted to play for years and I had put a lot of work into the campaign. An hour after I got the news after it was over, I got a message from Jane saying she was running a campaign irl and how excited she was about it. I was in a bad headspace so I logged off without replying. I woke up to her asking me if I saw the message. I took a deep breath and replied as politely as I could saying that I lost my table last night and I didn't think I could talk about ttrpg stuff right now because it was a bit raw.
Kate decided to despite her inexperience at ttrpgs and never dming to take up the system of table two and attempt to dm herself. I was pleasantly surprised by this. A few days after this, Kate said Jane was joining the table as well. I was surprised by this as well, and admittedly nervous, but the optimist in me had hoped that Kate and Jane had reconciled and Jane was out of her funk and we could finally get the gaming experience together all three of us wanted. Despite my nerves, I dm'd Jane and said I heard she was joining and asked if she wanted help with her character sheet. She agreed and we workshopped some things. I was feeling really hopeful after that.
Unfortunately, Kate did not have a great first session through no fault of her own. Like my first time dming, it was a mix of factors but the big ones being two players talking over others at the table and one player laying comic relief on way too thick. For Jane, problems similar to my campaign echoed, but arguably worse since Kate's campaign was meant to be a longterm campaign. Jane did not add to her character past our workshopping and similar to my campaign she made an npc she was looking for that she gave Kate one sentence on and expected her to write the character and give all the plot for. Kate as both a new player and dm was overwhelmed and called the campaign after one session.
After talking with Marie and me, Kate said she still wanted to dm her campaign but she wanted players who would be supportive and mindful of the fact she was a new dm. Marie and I suggested she could continue the table if she wanted to. After some back and forth, Kate decided to try her campaign again with me, Marie, and another trusted player. We tried it out and the first session went amazing.
Unfortunately, Kate felt a little guilty about not inviting everybody back to her table despite not advertising it publicly and Jane kept lamenting the loss of her character in the campaign very publicly and saying how she was excited for things. Kate, getting more anxious and stressed, replied to her tenth or so message publicly calling her out saying her statement was unnecessary and guilt trippy. Jane apologized but edited her message in a way that made it look like Kate was overreacting and snapped at her.
I woke up to 200+ messages about this. Jane had messaged Dan, a mutual friend, asking if he thought it was true that Kate cancelled her campaign "because she hated playing with her" and Dan, knowing the situation from our side, tried to tell her that it was a lot of factors but she contributed with her lack of perceived effort into prepping for the game/finishing her character sheet. She proceeded to deflect and guilt trip further, starting with we didn't tell her soon enough to fix things, that one month irl time was not enough time to properly prepare for the game and we had so much more time than her to learn the system and she was unfairly being punished for it (reminder, we had three sessions in this system in two months and were still learning the game system ourselves).
She finally said the most damning part for everyone, saying "I just need a group that is willing to be patient with me while I learn and grow." Keep in mind that Jane has played ttrpgs for about ten years, Kate has been playing for one and a half. Kate rightfully asked "And I don't have a right to learn and grow?" Jane also kept insisting she wanted me to be proud of her, which confused me because I never said I wasn't proud of her or didn't respect her. At this point though, I was more angry and worried about Kate. Kate confessed she felt for a while now that Jane saw her as competition and not a friend and that she was jealous of our friendship. I said I feared the same but it wasn't right or healthy because I saw people as unique and even if one of them were gone they would never replace the other for me.
Jane got a warning for the deceptive editing of her message and the drama it caused, and responded to the warning and sent me and Kate an apology about her promising to dm a campaign a few months ago, not updating us, then the next we heard of things she was dming for her irl friends. This did not address the current problems, nor did it address why we were angry. Kate and I talked about it, but I personally did not respond to the message for a few days, when I felt I could be calm. I kept the message as neutral as possible asking for elaboration on it but also saying that wasn't why I was upset in as polite a manner as I can muster.
This is where it turns into a more unsettling horror. Nobody has heard from Jane in three days. Given the nature of the above, while we're worried and want her to be okay, between some of the hurtful and manipulative things above, we're also worried this is just further manipulation. I feel bad for thinking that, but at this point I don't know what to think anymore or how I feel about Jane.

Frustrated about gf getting excluded from trip, now I’m not going either.
Hey yall, I (19F) am the girlfriend of a beautiful and wonderful trans woman (20F) for 6 years. We are very close, live together, and love each other so much. Something happened tonight that really made us upset and I just wanted some validation. My friend I made at the beginning of freshman year of college (now going into our junior year) invited my gf and I to go down to her hometown in Austin which is about a 20 hour drive from where we live. We were both invited bc she was going to go with her roommates but they turned out to be bad people, so she offered both of us to come.
For the following weeks it was us three until my gf got a job offer for that weekend and we said she would just choose that (was for 800$) so it would just be my friend and I . (Mind you this is 3 weeks before the trip). Well one week later (2 weeks from the trip, so today), my gf was like hey I do wanna go to [insert city here] with you really badly, so I changed my mind. Mind you, she declined a work weekend that could’ve paid her 800$ to go on this trip now. We were both originally invited (my friend had also made comments about how it’s too bad my gf won’t be able to go bc [lists something that she would probably have fun doing on the trip] and it sucks she’ll miss it.)
So I text my friend asking if it’s still ok if she comes along because she was originally invited and we both talked about how we were bummed she couldn’t go. I was expecting her to be excited based on how she was talking. Well then she said she doesn’t know if it’s ok and I ask why. Apparently her grandma that we are stopping by to sleep for 2 nights (one on the way there and one on the way back) is very conservative. She said she’s probably transphobic and she wasn’t sure if my gf would be comfortable. I talked with my gf and she said that she deals with misgendering all the time and this trip was worth it to her. Well it was clear my friend expected us to say she didn’t want to go, because she then proceeded to say that bringing my gf would put a wedge in her and her grandma’s relationship and she was paranoid it would harm their bond (?? She sees her grandma maybe twice a year).
She also said she didn’t know how this would affect her relationship with her and that part of her family in the future (which I don’t understand how this would affect her at all. We would be spending the night then leaving to her city. The rest of her family is also liberal…). I of course feel horrible for my gf for being excluded just because she’s trans and I know she’s already wrecked with dysphoria. My friend is claiming that I’m not understanding her feelings on the matter, which I am, but she claims she’s a die hard leftist and I also thought she was genuinely my gfs friend, so the fact she’s making my gf the problem (acting like SHES the reason her family would fight and not her transphobic grandma), makes me so mad.
To make matters worse, she then claims she feels she would be third wheeling the entire time and feel “socially exhausted”, which would be valid if I invited my gf myself, but she originally invited her to come with us, and why didn’t this come up before? Is it the trans thing or this? It’s just so odd and honestly I’m so uncomfortable with this situation I’m opting not to go anymore. I don’t want to be around her weird transphobic grandma and out of principle I don’t want to go on this trip because it’s so messed up my gf is getting discriminated against and made to feel unwelcome by someone who claims to be a leftist and her friend.
She also claimed she made plans and itinerary for only 2 people (mind you we had no solid plans like tickets for museums or things exclusively scheduled for two people. Just things like restaurants or events that another person could go to easily). I also think this is an excuse because what itinerary? I was not told about this and there have been no set in stone plans. Seems like another excuse to lessen the blow. Also the trip is in 2 weeks, change the itinerary??
I do feel kind of bad though because some may feel I’m overreacting and I know my friend is entitled to her feelings. Personally though I think it’s very messed up to just hide trans people from your transphobic family and shut them away for YOUR comfort. What do yall think? Personally I would never hide my gf from anyone because of her transness and I think that’s cowardly. I also think if your grandma would not want a relationship with you because you have a trans friend, maybe you shouldn’t WANT a relationship with her in the first place? Maybe that’s just me because I have very strong morals and values . Have any of yall dealt with something similar and had to call something off bc your partner was excluded?
TLDR; gf and I were originally invited to a road trip from one of my friends that invited us both. My gf said she couldn’t come at first for a week which me and my friend (seemed) bummed about, but then changed her mind and said she could come. Now my friend is rescinding the invitation because she’s claiming the presence of my gf in her grandmas house for 2 nights would ruin their relationship.

Frustrated about gf getting excluded from trip, now I’m not going either.
Hey yall, I (19F) am the girlfriend of a beautiful and wonderful trans woman (20F) for 6 years. We are very close, live together, and love each other so much. Something happened tonight that really made us upset and I just wanted some validation. My friend I made at the beginning of freshman year of college (now going into our junior year) invited my gf and I to go down to her hometown in Austin which is about a 20 hour drive from where we live. We were both invited bc she was going to go with her roommates but they turned out to be bad people, so she offered both of us to come.
For the following weeks it was us three until my gf got a job offer for that weekend and we said she would just choose that (was for 800$) so it would just be my friend and I . (Mind you this is 3 weeks before the trip). Well one week later (2 weeks from the trip, so today), my gf was like hey I do wanna go to [insert city here] with you really badly, so I changed my mind. Mind you, she declined a work weekend that could’ve paid her 800$ to go on this trip now. We were both originally invited (my friend had also made comments about how it’s too bad my gf won’t be able to go bc [lists something that she would probably have fun doing on the trip] and it sucks she’ll miss it.)
So I text my friend asking if it’s still ok if she comes along because she was originally invited and we both talked about how we were bummed she couldn’t go. I was expecting her to be excited based on how she was talking. Well then she said she doesn’t know if it’s ok and I ask why. Apparently her grandma that we are stopping by to sleep for 2 nights (one on the way there and one on the way back) is very conservative. She said she’s probably transphobic and she wasn’t sure if my gf would be comfortable. I talked with my gf and she said that she deals with misgendering all the time and this trip was worth it to her. Well it was clear my friend expected us to say she didn’t want to go, because she then proceeded to say that bringing my gf would put a wedge in her and her grandma’s relationship and she was paranoid it would harm their bond (?? She sees her grandma maybe twice a year).
She also said she didn’t know how this would affect her relationship with her and that part of her family in the future (which I don’t understand how this would affect her at all. We would be spending the night then leaving to her city. The rest of her family is also liberal…). I of course feel horrible for my gf for being excluded just because she’s trans and I know she’s already wrecked with dysphoria. My friend is claiming that I’m not understanding her feelings on the matter, which I am, but she claims she’s a die hard leftist and I also thought she was genuinely my gfs friend, so the fact she’s making my gf the problem (acting like SHES the reason her family would fight and not her transphobic grandma), makes me so mad.
To make matters worse, she then claims she feels she would be third wheeling the entire time and feel “socially exhausted”, which would be valid if I invited my gf myself, but she originally invited her to come with us, and why didn’t this come up before? Is it the trans thing or this? It’s just so odd and honestly I’m so uncomfortable with this situation I’m opting not to go anymore. I don’t want to be around her weird transphobic grandma and out of principle I don’t want to go on this trip because it’s so messed up my gf is getting discriminated against and made to feel unwelcome by someone who claims to be a leftist and her friend.
She also claimed she made plans and itinerary for only 2 people (mind you we had no solid plans like tickets for museums or things exclusively scheduled for two people. Just things like restaurants or events that another person could go to easily). I also think this is an excuse because what itinerary? I was not told about this and there have been no set in stone plans. Seems like another excuse to lessen the blow. Also the trip is in 2 weeks, change the itinerary??
I do feel kind of bad though because some may feel I’m overreacting and I know my friend is entitled to her feelings. Personally though I think it’s very messed up to just hide trans people from your transphobic family and shut them away for YOUR comfort. What do yall think? Personally I would never hide my gf from anyone because of her transness and I think that’s cowardly. I also think if your grandma would not want a relationship with you because you have a trans friend, maybe you shouldn’t WANT a relationship with her in the first place? Maybe that’s just me because I have very strong morals and values . Have any of yall dealt with something similar and had to call something off bc your partner was excluded?
TLDR; gf and I were originally invited to a road trip from one of my friends that invited us both. My gf said she couldn’t come at first for a week which me and my friend (seemed) bummed about, but then changed her mind and said she could come. Now my friend is rescinding the invitation because she’s claiming the presence of my gf in her grandmas house for 2 nights would ruin their relationship.

I (29) just started dating a (31) woman 6 weeks ago and every time we go out it causes us trouble because of how “friendly” she is. On average we spend 3-4 days together a week and frequent the bars and restaurants in her city.
Every single day she gives her number to someone; man or woman, young and old, attractive or unattractive, it doesn’t matter. If they have a heartbeat she’s spending 30mins to an hour talking to them and then giving her number even if she’s not interested.
For reference we’re both women I’m 5’9 and she’s 4’11 and we’re both very attractive women so people constantly flock to us, however I typically shut them down and tell them I’m not interested or show lack of interest so they rarely approach, yet she invites everyone’s energy into our space good and bad and she searches for it in the room. (Ex. She makes eye contact with unattractive men across the room and continues to look at them which prompts them to take it as an invite and approach.)
Last night another man had to intervene and drag a man by his collar out of a restaurant (not even a bar) because of how invasive he was being trying to engage with her. The thing is, had she said she wasn’t interested he probably would have left but she, like always, entertained his advances.
A few days ago my car was stolen by valet at our hotel and the only way we figured out who it was is because she gave the man (a bum) her phone number and inquired about a receipt found in my car. He confessed and said he’d pay me gas money. I went to management and they opened an investigation and I decided to close it, despite now having body damage to my car, all because I’m afraid of retaliation and her safety because she gave the valet her contact information.
She claims she does it because it’s her personality or because she’s 4’11 and people are bigger than her, but I personally think it’s likely due to her need for validation as she used to be morbidly obese and now her body gets her attention everywhere she goes.
Since I met her I’ve conversed with her about not giving everyone her energy, learning how to decline advances before they even approach, and even giving out a text free number instead of her personal one, but she doesn’t seem to want to change.
I need some advice on how to deal with this situation because it is disrupting my peace to the point where I no longer suggest going to bars and certain areas with her for both my peace and tbh a little bit of disrespect/jealousy because she’s dating me yet everyone has access or believes they has access to her and it takes away from our time when she’s spending time sharing her life story repeatedly with everyone.
Any advice would be appreciated.

Hey yall, I (19F) am the girlfriend of a beautiful and wonderful trans woman (20F) for 6 years. We are very close, live together, and love each other so much. Something happened tonight that really made us upset and I just wanted some validation. My friend I made at the beginning of freshman year of college (now going into our junior year) invited my gf and I to go down to her hometown in Austin which is about a 20 hour drive from where we live. We were both invited bc she was going to go with her roommates but they turned out to be bad people, so she offered both of us to come.
For the following weeks it was us three until my gf got a job offer for that weekend and we said she would just choose that (was for 800$) so it would just be my friend and I . (Mind you this is 3 weeks before the trip). Well one week later (2 weeks from the trip, so today), my gf was like hey I do wanna go to [insert city here] with you really badly, so I changed my mind. Mind you, she declined a work weekend that could’ve paid her 800$ to go on this trip now. We were both originally invited (my friend had also made comments about how it’s too bad my gf won’t be able to go bc [lists something that she would probably have fun doing on the trip] and it sucks she’ll miss it.)
So I text my friend asking if it’s still ok if she comes along because she was originally invited and we both talked about how we were bummed she couldn’t go. I was expecting her to be excited based on how she was talking. Well then she said she doesn’t know if it’s ok and I ask why. Apparently her grandma that we are stopping by to sleep for 2 nights (one on the way there and one on the way back) is very conservative. She said she’s probably transphobic and she wasn’t sure if my gf would be comfortable. I talked with my gf and she said that she deals with misgendering all the time and this trip was worth it to her. Well it was clear my friend expected us to say she didn’t want to go, because she then proceeded to say that bringing my gf would put a wedge in her and her grandma’s relationship and she was paranoid it would harm their bond (?? She sees her grandma maybe twice a year).
She also said she didn’t know how this would affect her relationship with her and that part of her family in the future (which I don’t understand how this would affect her at all. We would be spending the night then leaving to her city. The rest of her family is also liberal…). I of course feel horrible for my gf for being excluded just because she’s trans and I know she’s already wrecked with dysphoria. My friend is claiming that I’m not understanding her feelings on the matter, which I am, but she claims she’s a die hard leftist and I also thought she was genuinely my gfs friend, so the fact she’s making my gf the problem (acting like SHES the reason her family would fight and not her transphobic grandma), makes me so mad.
To make matters worse, she then claims she feels she would be third wheeling the entire time and feel “socially exhausted”, which would be valid if I invited my gf myself, but she originally invited her to come with us, and why didn’t this come up before? Is it the trans thing or this? It’s just so odd and honestly I’m so uncomfortable with this situation I’m opting not to go anymore. I don’t want to be around her weird transphobic grandma and out of principle I don’t want to go on this trip because it’s so messed up my gf is getting discriminated against and made to feel unwelcome by someone who claims to be a leftist and her friend.
She also claimed she made plans and itinerary for only 2 people (mind you we had no solid plans like tickets for museums or things exclusively scheduled for two people. Just things like restaurants or events that another person could go to easily). I also think this is an excuse because what itinerary? I was not told about this and there have been no set in stone plans. Seems like another excuse to lessen the blow. Also the trip is in 2 weeks, change the itinerary??
I do feel kind of bad though because some may feel I’m overreacting and I know my friend is entitled to her feelings. Personally though I think it’s very messed up to just hide trans people from your transphobic family and shut them away for YOUR comfort. What do yall think? Personally I would never hide my gf from anyone because of her transness and I think that’s cowardly. I also think if your grandma would not want a relationship with you because you have a trans friend, maybe you shouldn’t WANT a relationship with her in the first place? Maybe that’s just me because I have very strong morals and values . Have any of yall dealt with something similar and had to call something off bc your partner was excluded?
TLDR; gf and I were originally invited to a road trip from one of my friends that invited us both. My gf said she couldn’t come at first for a week which me and my friend (seemed) bummed about, but then changed her mind and said she could come. Now my friend is rescinding the invitation because she’s claiming the presence of my gf in her grandmas house for 2 nights would ruin their relationship.

So I (32F) am supposed to attend a close friend's (38M) wedding at the end of this month and I am so close to just not going, I really need an outside perspective before I do something dramatic. (PS Sorry about the long wall of text once I started typing the pent-up feelings started gushing out)
For some background, my housemate "S" (31F) and I used to have a third housemate "M" We used to live together during our mid 20's and his late 20's - early 30's until he bought himself a house and moved out. Still, we all remained close friends afterwards, He and I have always had kind of like a sibling relationship we would be chill and tease the shit out of each other, he calls me seagull for picking up a 50c coin off the ground and I add tiny penises to a drawing he asked to make. Then we watch an extra shitty movie.
While S was seeing someone she and I were introduced to the now fiance "B" (then 19 now 25) through the guy she was seeing, We immediately clicked and started trying to introduce her to our friend group by inviting her to any games nights we hosted, It was during one of these games night that M and B first met, S and I could tell B was smitten with M, we were mentally begging M not to fuck her because we actually wanted her to be our friend first and foremost, not be friends until the two broke up and then be awkward around each other and have the friendship fizzle out like what had happened with so many of his exes while he was living with us. and we knew B was exactly his type. A year later, our friendship remained strong, but some concerning behaviour started to surface when the four of us hung out. Whenever S or I made plans with M, B would always insist on joining in. On a trip to Sydney for my birthday, S and I offered money for fuel and parking, but M declined. However, B insisted that we should give him money despite his refusal. Another time, when we were planning to have dinner at B's place, M picked up an iced coffee for himself and one for me, and banana milk for S. As we headed to the checkout, B handed S the banana milk to pay, which seemed rather odd. Ever since B & M got engaged in 2022, it seems like she's been distancing herself from me. She's been less responsive to me in our group chats, constantly bailing on our plans to hang out, and even postponed meeting up for my birthday multiple times last year. To top it off, she didn't even send me a birthday message, despite us celebrating her, M's, and S's birthdays. This year, it feels like I was only invited to the wedding because S messaged her in April about it, and suddenly we received hand-delivered invitations with a lacklustre excuse about expensive stamps from B. S and I are in a bit of a pickle because neither of us can drive to get to the venue. We've tried reaching out to B about the possibility of one of us getting a +1 so they won't be left waiting outside for ages if we manage to find a lift. Unfortunately, we've received no response from B, and M keeps saying they'll talk to B. B has only recently mentioned organizing a rideshare if we take the train to Newcastle, but they won't provide specific info. This is causing us problems finalizing our travel plans, such as booking tickets and figuring out if we should stay overnight. And if we do stay overnight, how will we manage to get our shit before catching the train back? Yesterday I sent a long message (I'll include it below) trying to directly address the issues but has been left on read for over 24 hours now, RSVP is this Friday if don't get a reply by then then I'm not going. I understand that organising a wedding is stressful but this situation has been getting progressively worse way before any wedding plans had been confirmed, I have long since stopped considering B a friend and I want to be there for M but B isn't giving me anything to work with and M seems like he doesn't want to deal with it.
I know that choosing not to go will likely lead to the end of my relationship with M. I am already beginning to accept it and have started mourning the loss of a good friend. (I am crying as I type this)
Please provide me with some advice.

Here is the message I sent yesterday

Hey everyone, I sometimes feel like I'm being overlooked in this group chat. That's why I'm tagging everyone to ensure we're all on the same page, B ill also send this directly to you.
Has anyone confirmed their willingness and ability to help us get to the venue and back?
Perhaps it would be more effective for us and less burdensome for you to directly exchange contact information.
It seems like yesterday's discussion didn't lead to a clear plan. If we are considering staying overnight, we would need more details regarding transportation to and from the venue. Additionally, we would need to address logistics such as retrieving our belongings from the accommodation before catching the train home.
The XPT train doesn't use the Opal card system and we need to book tickets in advance. S and I really want to be there to celebrate your special day with both of you, but we need to firm up our general timeline before making any commitments. I can imagine that some of M's family members might also be facing similar travel complications from other states. I hope that, like us, they are doing everything they can to overcome these challenges to be there for the celebration, rather than feeling like it's just too difficult.

I'm trying to pinpoint what feels off about this email from my mother. I know she has no boundaries and is trying to get sympathy from me, but there seems to be an element of emotional manipulation that I can't quite identify. For context, I was upset when my mother, my daughter, my spouse, my mother-in-law, and I ran into her boyfriend of over five years with his son and granddaughter (whom I had never met). His son and granddaughter blatantly avoided us, making no effort to say hello or introduce themselves. This is the same son who I've had to wait for at Thanksgiving without even an apology for being late. Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. I've changed the names for obvious reasons.
Addressing some things that were said some that weren’t. Read it or delete it it’s your choice. This was written last night
Sophia I failed you as a child. I had always hoped that I would meet another single parent and form a blended family. Another single parent is aware of what it’s like to raise kids all the work and all the rewards. You needed that. I needed that too. I did not have a good support system other than Helen when you guys were growing up thank god for Helen. I worked at a job where I didn’t get weekends off and early starts my whole working life it made it hard to build friendships and support systems. I didn’t always do everything right with you kids you guys were my priority. At times life was very lonely..actually a few times when you and Olivia were with your dad I got dressed up and stood outside just pretending someone was coming to pick me up I’d stay awhile looking at my watch eventually go back inside. I was lonely. When I started dating I had always hoped that if I gave someone extra time because they didn’t have kids they would figure out how to make it work. I was wrong. John was as close as it came. I was always looking for a partner to complete our family. I once answered a personal ad in the newspaper of a single father in Nanaimo but never heard back. I made lots of mistakes along the way Funny guys will say what they think you want to hear in the beginning. I failed at finding you a new dad I did try more than you know. I needed a partner as much as you needed a dad. I had few friends, little money, going to school after work at times you guys were always on my mind.
David was just a big mistake period idiot move on my part. Funny too he also said I want to be a dad!
Fast forward to yesterday. I probably didn’t say hi to Jennifer I nodded I was just tired it wasn’t on purpose. Tom sees Jennifer and the girls usually every other weekend they go for lunch or something. Tom goes to the odd hockey game with them. I’ve gone a few times for lunch not many. I’m happy with that they need time together if I wanted to go I probably could. When Tom had that other woman at his place he had her go with them because she was staying with him it’s very different we both see it as different if you’re living together.
Your perception that I’m trying to keep Tom away from you is false it never entered my mind. We both spend time with our families it’s just a given. We could always spend time together both Tom and I with you guys if you want just needed to let me know.
If you’re still upset that I didn’t visit more after you had Ella I will repeat my answer again. No matter what you want my answer to it’s still the same. I called you were busy I called you were busy I called you were busy. I figured you would reach out to me when you wanted me to come over. As soon as you reached out I was there. No matter how much you want my answer to be different it’s not going to change I am not a mind reader.
Christmas this year. I extended the invitation to both Tom and Steve this year to have Christmas at your house. I am aware that Steve isn’t your favourite person you’re aware he’s socially awkward. I did say that there would probably be a lot of people with friends and family from both you and Emma. You were supposed to have more people than even showed up. They thanked me for the offer and declined. I remember I relayed that they thanked you to you. I got the idea from grandma Claire to have a dinner Christmas Eve then go to my family Christmas Day for dinner. She used to do that every year do you remember. When Tom and Jennifer declined I thought it was a good idea to cook a turkey only after they declined your invitation. I wouldn’t expect Tom to come and leave Jennifer alone on Christmas. Tom has no idea that you dislike Jennifer why would I say anything like that to hurt people. You were going to be having a house full if everyone showed up Mia’s whole family more friends too that didn’t show. You had enough stuff and stress. I thought it was the perfect solution.
I did screw up the potatoes
I had an awesome time at your place over Christmas thank you. You did a good job everyone enjoyed themselves including me. Thank you.
Chili with Peter You weren’t saying this was bothering you but I’ll take a guess and say it was. You had said you wanted everyone to get together after Max’s game. I went with that plan I needed to come up with something to feed everyone the day before so I did. I wasn’t driving. Plain and simply I had no idea that plans had changed.
I am well aware you’re not happy with me I didn’t know how bad it was. I put it down to all the stress and pressures you’re under at work and at home. I’ve been trying not to put any extra stress on you. I guess I had it wrong. I’m sure you have your reasons. They’re your reasons. I’m not sure how long things have been going on. It doesn’t feel good but you’re an adult. You seem to have ideas about things I know nothing about.
I don’t want to lose connection with my granddaughter be it a short FaceTime chat on the weekends or anything else you decide it’s important to me.
Take care of yourself Sophia you have a busy life. I’m not mentioning this to Tom or Olivia if you want to discuss it with Olivia that’s up to you. This is what I was going to say next weekend. It’s said. It seems I’m struggling to even know what’s bothering you. I’m trying to put out fires with not all the information. I’m not sure what you even think is going on. You might have it all wrong.
Looking back on the ride home My guess is that others in the car were aware of your issues with me. If that’s true I feel pretty stupid because I was the last to know.

I started perusing this sub as my 2-year-old Golden has harbored a few behaviors that R+ never seemed to alterid of. The biggest one was his mouthing - any person he met he would greet them mouth first - not unheard of for Goldens obviously, but his bite inhibition was erratic in these instances. Not breaking the skin, but not the "soft mouths" you typically associate with Labs/Goldens. I hated it, my parents hated it, my friends hated it. Nothing would work - and yes, the methods we trained long-term - redirection (bringing a toy instead -> I can't always carry a toy around, and sometimes he would mouth WITH/DESPITE the toy, or drop it so he could mouth them), time-outs, reverse time-outs, creating a greeting routine (he had to sit and shake their before they could pet him), etc. His "love language" was mouthing, and the behavior is rooted in overarousal - either anxiety, excitement, or both.
I only had experience with R+ methods - that's what they preach in puppy101, that's the method I was taught as a Petsmart trainer, and what was preached as the "best" and "only" method. I know now that the majority of studies "proving" this conducted are skewed (small sample sizes, differing criteria, etc.) but on the flip side, I only thought of prong collars and e-collars as the alternative, when there seems to be a fair and middle ground. My biggest takeaway at this point is: train the dog in front of you.
So I hired a trainer who came highly recommended in my area. Her guarantee was only needing one session to help - I figured this was because she would provide the methods/plans to implement behavior change over a longer period of time instead of working with me on a weekly basis - cost effectiveness I guess. My second biggest mistake was not asking more questions before the session, and as our session went on, I began doubting the efficacy of her methodology and reasoning. Her background was in training police dogs AND she had shadowed under Cesar Milan (when she mentioned this, my guard started to go up).
When she first walked in, she allowed my dog to "make mistakes", that is, jump and mouth and get in her space. Once she got an idea of the behavior I was talking about, she would do 1 of 3 things. 1. Direct "energy" toward him to get him to stop a behaviodo something (as I type this I feel ridiculous, but remember Cesar's show where he would make the "Shhh" sound toward a dog? That.) 2. Use spatial pressure - so essentially use her body to get into his space and essentially intimidate him to sit/lie down/move away. 3. Use tactile pressure - cup her hands and essentially jab his flank in a quick fluid motion. Or use her knee to manipulate him around. She'd use them in that order depending on whether or not he'd respond. No commands, she said those were useless.
Some of the things she told me throughout our session:
"Dogs have a scale from 0 - 10; 0 is sleeping, 10 is balls to the wall, or severe aggression/anxiety. 5 is where dogs will typically teter between making the right or the wrong choice." This I agreed with.
"If you're using food/treats, your dog is already at a 6 and you've "already lost" in terms of his exuberance/controllability, and I'm making the emotional state worse by feeding him treats." I don't agree with this.
"Dogs see command training as play - they're good for fun, but shouldn't be relied upon in real life situations." I know command/trick training is a good bonding activity, but the idea that reliable cues shouldn't be relied upon?
"You need to "claim" my things and people - either with my energy or spatial pressure. So for example, when someone comes through the door, you essentially need to use body language (spatial pressure) to tell him that "this person is mine, not yours" (almost like you'd man-to-man guard in basketball lol)." Then, when my dog chooses to go lie down, the person is allowed to go pet him. "I shouldn't let him into my space without an invite - i.e. me going to him first." I agreed with the idea of him getting attention only when he's lying down and calm, but the first part seemed...out of date.
When she does board and trains with puppies, she doesn't train with food, only attention. She "ignores" them 90% of the time and only gives them attention/praise when they 1) potty outside or 2) recall reliably.
On walks, she doesn't allow her dogs to sniff/pee/poop/change sides/etc. Only walk beside her i.e. a constant heel - no further than the pants seam otherwise they get a correction (a leash pop using a slip). She said all dogs have a "follow" mode they can switch into and that's what I need to tap into with my dog. Releasing to sniff/potty is only at her command and very seldom. Um. What? A follow mode? No sniffing?
When we talked about mat training, her method was "If he gets off 99 times, I'm putting him back on 100". Meaning I decide how long he stays on that mat. But then she told me I could reward him with treats every once in a while to reinforce the lying down/sitting on the mat. Uh. Doesn't that go against what you told me earlier? That if I treat him, he's at a 6? That I've "lost"?
My biggest issue came when she was teaching leash pressure with my dog. My dog understands (95% of the time) that if the leash is taut, I will not move forward until he sits or relieves the tension himself in some way (coming back to my side, turning, etc.) She threw a slip over him in my apartment and to my horror proceeded to essentially drag him around until he complied. She was trying to get the point across "When I make tension on the leash, you need to figure out how to remove it yourself. Example - he was lying maybe 5ft in front of her and she wanted him to come forward toward her and truth be told, he flat-out refused (tried to lay down) until she was putting some extreme pressure to get him to come forward to relieve the pressure himself. Now this is when she said "See? He's just being stubborn and manipulative." While I agree he can be stubborn, the notion that he was actually "shutting down" didn't occur to me until later - when she was using spatial pressure to get him to do something and he frantically dove under my chaitable to try and hide behind/under me to get away from her. He wasn't being stubborn or manipulative - as far as I know, dogs don't have the capacity to be manipulative like that - he was afraid. Edit: He was exhibiting a lot of stress signals before/as she was doing it - whale eye, panting, lip licking.
After our session, I felt incredible disgust and anger - at myself, at her. I didn't know what to believe anymore either - I know the dog training industry is so polarized and also unregulated, so I feel like I'm constantly getting conflicting advice. I tried for one day the method she did for walking (using the figure 8 over his snout and behind his ears), keeping him next to my side only and "popping" him when he would go ahead, but 1) it didn't seem to help and 2) I knew/felt I was suppressing his behavior rather than altering it. This was confirmed as the days after into now, his reactivity increased. I've worked with him since he was an adolescent to be able to pass by dogs about 5-10ft away without interaction - in the days after, he began to bark, attempt to engage, and jump at any dog in a 15ft radius. His "temper tantrums" i.e. when he'd become over threshold on his walk and start to jump, mouth, and zoom on leash - returned - when I had worked for a while to build his threshold and haven't had one of those instances in almost 6 months. It felt like our progress in building his tolerance. has been cut down to zero.
I'm not looking for someone to relieve me of the guilt I feel about letting someone do that to my dog, but I am looking for some clarity, or at least a third-party opinion.

How angry were you when your bridesmaid said no? Did they give reasoning? Were you ever friends again or did they even come to your wedding? I really want to say no to being asked mostly bc I have too many other weddings to go to (and being snarked at by the bride before even being asked bc she was insecure that I was too busy instead of telling me to my face). I dont have the money, time, energy to do so much for one wedding when i have 8 in the next 18 months (and i still plan on declining some invites too but not for the purpose of making it to one just to maintain my own sanity and not spend all my money). This is a college friend I havent seen in over 5 years. I feel bad , i think I have kinda moved on bu she never really made friends after college and fell out of touch completely with everyone else in her life (respectfully, makes me wonder if SHE did something to these people). I also think that the wedding and bridal party is mostly family who I do not know at all and they are mostly breastfeeding and/or pregnant moms so I think she needs a “fun captain” which I totally get but I just CANNOT be that person. Most people also live in the same town and i live a flight + 3 hour drive away so i cannot be doing that for more than just the wedding. I feel like such an evil villain but I just want to know how other people have said no and had it be a productive conversation

My (23M) girlfriend (23F), has a friend Alex (23M) who she met about a year before we started dating (we have been together a year now). When I was first introduced to Alex, I immediately assumed he was gay, partially because the way he and my girlfriend met was through a uni society that was traditionally more feminine than others. I also think to some extent it made me feel better about his friendship with my girlfriend because they would do things like wine and movie nights (mostly with other people but sometimes just the two of them) and he would buy her food and drinks and just generally act very close.
The initial issues started when I was talking to one of my girlfriend's other friends from the same society and mentioned something about Alex being gay. She quickly shut me down and said that it was a common mistake but Alex was not gay. He'd never defined his sexuality to any of them but he had definitely expressed interest in women he's just kind of awkward and introverted so has not spoken to many in any romantic context. This made me feel a bit uncomfortable about my girlfriend's friendship with him. I tried to ignore it so I wouldn't cause an issue but I started to notice little things he would say or do that bothered me now that I knew he wasn't gay. Things like initiating 'friendly' arm punches, offering to lend her jumpers, hugging her from behind and just generally talking about their friendship to other people as if he was showing it and her off.
My final straw was when my girlfriend posted an Instagram story of us at a fancy dinner with some of her coworkers and Alex replied to it, commenting on the dress she'd been wearing and how he'd never seen it before. None of the messages were suggestive aside from his questionable use of emojis and, when I pointed this out to my girlfriend, she and her coworkers (who are also familiar with Alex) told me that's just the way he texts.
I didn't say anything for the rest of the night but, when my girlfriend and I got back to my flat, I told her that her friendship with Alex bothered me and that it felt like he was flirting with her. My girlfriend went quiet for a second before saying "I'm glad you said something". Turns out that she had also initially assumed Alex was gay and, since finding out he isn't, has been a bit more aware of the way he acts. Multiple other friends have brought up to her that they think he might like her and she herself has been starting to think the same despite the fact that he regularly refers to her as a sibling. She admitted she only sees him as a friend and that his actions, including the dress comment, have begun to make her feel uncomfortable. She revealed to me multiple situations she hadn't told me about before, things like Alex trying to join in on inside jokes with her other friends which don't involve him; constantly texting her asking what she's doing at whatever place she is at (she shares her location with a group of people including me for safety reasons); and using her location to find her at the coffeeshops she and her coworkers frequent for remote work, joining them without invitation.
But the situation that made me the most annoyed was that apparently, during a movie night with some of their mutual friends, he brought out rope and suggested tying each other up for laughs (rope which he said he had purchased specifically for this reason). My girlfriend said it had made her and their other friends extremely uncomfortable and that she had declined, making a joke out of it. However, apparently Alex has brought up the idea as a 'joke' multiple times since, despite my girlfriend shutting him down every time. This made me incredibly angry as it was a clear breach of any normal boundaries. I wanted to confront Alex but my girlfriend convinced me not to because he is autistic and she thinks he just doesn't understand this particular social cue.
My girlfriend and I agreed that she should distance herself from the friendship and, since then, she has been hanging out with him less even in group settings (they have multiple mutual friends) and turning her location off so he can't track where she is. However, Alex has kept texting her friendly, supportive messages when she has claimed to be too busy to see him and, because my girlfriend is both sentimental and too nice, she has kept in regular contact with him over text (although she takes days to reply every time and has avoided one on one hangouts since our discussion).
I thought things were getting better, even if I would have preferred for my girlfriend to cut Alex off entirely, but everything kicked off yesterday. My girlfriend and I were at a drinks evening at her friend's house (to which Alex was also invited) and everything was fine until my girlfriend and some of her coworkers who were present started talking about an upcoming work deadline for a big project they're all involved in and how they have been pulling late hours at their favourite coffeeshops and the local library. Alex laughed and said something like "oh yeah I was in the library the other day but I couldn't find you". It was a completely normal comment but, because he has used my girlfriend's location multiple times in the past, I could tell it made her a bit uncomfortable. The conversation quickly moved on when someone made a comment about the short vacation my girlfriend and her coworkers were going to take once the project was done. Alex laughed again and joked about how they were abandoning him and he would be stuck here while they were on vacation (even though he is only friends with half the group at best and even I'm not going on the trip despite my relationship to my girlfriend). These types of self-depreciating jokes are common for Alex but, given everything else, it pissed me off. Instead of brushing it off, I said "Yeah, that'll probably make it harder for you to stalk her". Everyone went quiet. Alex thought it was a joke at first but I repeated it, saying he was an idiot if he couldn't see he was making my girlfriend uncomfortable. I then finished it off with "It's not her responsibility to deal with the fact you're in love with her and can't take a hint".
The party ended quickly after that and, when we left, my girlfriend told me that what I said was too harsh and that she should have probably set firmer boundaries with Alex in the first place but was scared to hurt his feelings. She understands why I did it but is mad at me for the way I handled things, and the rest of her friends from that night agree with her. So AITA?

I have reviewed a lot of Reddit and online feedback from both guests and bride/groom about fallout from lack of inviting family to a wedding. Most have given the credit to the bride and groom because it is "their day" and they should do what makes them happy. I think that is horseshit advice. I think that they are too stupid to know better. Too often they are thinking about the pictures and how great the event will look when they post it versus really planning a ceremony to share with the people that supported them and will continue to support them in the future.
My nephew/Godson was married two years ago, and I was not invited to his wedding ceremony. I was invited to the reception that was held two days later for an extended guest list of a few hundred. I have since changed the context of our relationship due to being hurt by not be included as "close family". The wedding ceremony guest list consisted of parents and stepparents, siblings, step and half siblings, grandparents, and nephews. Approximately 30 people. I previously would have described our relationship as close. I was a present godmother, closer than other aunts and uncles and supported and been generous to my godson. I spent vacation time with him and his fiancé, I visited him when he lived overseas, and I helped with anything he needed.
I may have been more affected by not being invited to the wedding by not being told that I was not invited. The Save the Date's arrived indicating the Wedding Celebration weekend (three-day holiday weekend). It did not indicate what this meant and that there would be a private ceremony. I lived out of state and due to the holiday weekend; I arranged my flight 5 months prior and booked a rental home near-by. The wedding website started to include more content as the wedding date approached. It was only then that I started to figure out that the wedding would take place on a Friday and the Celebration would take place on the Sunday. I had booked my flight to arrive on the Thursday before. I had also seen my nephew a month before making my flights during a holiday and there was no mention of the exact plans and I realize that I said things that would indicate my excitement at their wedding, yet they said nothing. As the weeks passed, disclaimers started to appear on the site that the wedding ceremony was private, but also the ceremony was included in the full agenda with arrival times for these guests which included a lobster dinner and a sunset cruise after the ceremony. My mother, nephew's grandmother, had no idea that I was not invited. But when I finally deduced that I was not on the ceremony guest list I was physically hurt. It was gut wrenching and painful. When I told my mother - she was shocked. She was also disappointed because she then had no one to attend to her by driving and taking care of her during the event. This meant she did not stay throughout the event because she does not drive at night. My mother was told that they could not open the guest list up to all the aunts and uncles because there were so many on both sides of the family. I know other aunts were hurt as well.
I decided to change my flight to arrive on the Saturday instead of Thursday because it felt strange to be staying so close to an event that I was not invited to. When my flight arrived on Saturday, I got a call to inform me that they were having a BBQ for all of the out-of-town guests that day. I was at the airport waiting on my rental car a few hours away and knew I would not arrive to the BBQ until it was well underway. I declined. I attended the celebratory dinner and left a bit after the first dance.
I have since dialed back my involvement in my godson's life. I feel that I must have been more engaged with his life or emotionally invested than necessary. The couple is aware that they hurt many of their close extended family, but I am sure they have validated their decision with the same bullshit excuses that I see on popular forums. I recently was in town visiting my mother and my siblings. I did not reach out to my nephew to inform him that I was in town. I am aware my mother informed him of my plans - I did not hear from him.
I do not feel like I am the AH and probably have made the right decision for the future to protect myself from future disappointment.

I had a bizarre experience interviewing for a new nonprofit that left my head spinning.
To start, I was way overqualified for the job which had a low salary but I was desperate to start bringing in ANY money after months of unemployment. I recognized that this mental state made me vulnerable and had my head on a swivel for any BS.
I thought I was being interviewed by their HR guy but in the interview he actually tells me he’s their graphic designer. Okay weird but fine for a small company. Then two randos also join the call and listen in but don’t tell me who they are or what they do. I was flummoxed by all these changes so I only asked after the call ended and they were still very vague about what their jobs were other than “right hands”
So they tell me they wanna move fast. Fine by me. I send in some portfolio samples. Then they ask for an assignment that is really just the job itself, so I decline and agree to a smaller and more reasonable assignment. They love it.
Want me to meet the founder and CEO the next day. She’s a wealthy woman with influence. But she was visibly bored during our call, kept getting up to answer the door and attend to her animals…it was rude. So I stopped my spiel to allow her time to give me her full attention. She seemed shocked at my gall.
She tells me she wants me to be the Head of this department when it was posted as an entry level job. And that I need to be available at all hours of the day. All for $60k. 🤨 At this point I’m like yikes forget this.
So I write the Hdesigner guy back and politely decline, saying that the scope/title/salary are not aligned. He calls me and tells me how much the founder loved me. Could’ve fooled me. And he wants me to interview with some more folks in a panel. I again politely decline.
I’m starting to feel…dazzled? Like I can’t just ask any clarifying questions without a whole tribunal weighing in. Even after getting some clarity, it still seems like this is a racket and might even be money laundering? So now I FIRMLY say no.
The two randos call me on a surprise conference call with the ENTIRE team on the line, kind of shaming me for pulling out. They want to interview me. Right now. Again, this is for $60k. I’ve never had someone pursue me this aggressively. I told them I thought this was unprofessional and that I needed them to respect my decision.
After that they stopped reaching out. All this happened within the span of a few days. Like they were ramrodding me through the process before I had any time to slow down and collect my thoughts or ask questions.
TL;DR I am glad I trusted my gut and was able to say no to something even though I was desperate.

My (18F) best friend (18NB) wanted to throw a party and asked if they could do it at my house, I agreed. We made a group chat with the friends they would invite on it with a communal playlist. My best friend and their girlfriend invited the majority of the guests, most of whom I didn't know well or at all.
I asked my two friends to come an hour early to help me set up but they were 30 mins late and soon after their friends who I didn't know arrived. The girlfriend's best friend asked to play music on my friend's speaker and I declined as my friend and I had already agreed to do the music, playing the communal playlist. I later spoke to that friend saying I found it annoying how she immediately tried to take control of the music before the party even started. My friend agreed, yet later told their girlfriend what I said. I did however queue the artist she wanted to play and played the communal playlist which she was on.
The party ended up being more people than i expected and quickly got out of control. For example, someone turned on each oven hob to full heat and burnt a plastic bag (which we found out later belonged to my friends girlfriend) which had stuck to the oven and wouldn't come off despite cleaning for a long time, people were running up and down the stairs to smoke outside and getting excessively drunk and throwing up by 8PM. My neighbors were angry very soon in the night, and phoned my parents who texted me to be quiet. Older people no one knew showed up and I rejected them.
Throughout this, my friend, whose idea the party was, wasn't helping me at all and was instead very intoxicated and left the party to go to the park and get high, despite all the problems being caused by the people they invited (including the hob thing). When they returned they remained inattentive, and only watched me keep control of the situation while chatting to their gf and other friends I didn't know, as I was visibly getting more stressed.
At the end of the party, I ended up kicking everyone out as someone had messed with the lock on my door and I couldn't close it, leading me to believe the door was broken. I was able to fix it but only after everyone had already left. Their gf brought an insulated plastic bag and was looking for it which I helped with, only to realize that bag was the one that got burnt earlier.
I made a joke alluding to the bag I forgot the details of but it upset them I also made a joke that their friends were "wild" which I think isn't harsh but they didn't appreciate that. They then called me 'negative' and that I should've been nicer to their friends. It turns out they joined their friends in the park after, and talked about being mad at me.
The next day they messaged me saying I was rude and my behavior was not okay and that I should apologize to them. They brought up how I wouldn't let their gf's friend connect to the speaker and how I didn't show enough sympathy towards the bag being burnt. I responded that they should have taken more responsibility for their own guests instead of leaving it to me and did apologize for coming off as rude to her friend. They then said they couldn't of controlled the guests and that any issues were inevitable. When I asked how they would've acted in my situation, they said they would never have even used their house for a party. They're still angry with me, was I too harsh on their friends as I don't know them? AITA?

Hello, Charlotte I really love your videos, they always made me laugh even if I was at my lowest. And I am happy to share my story with you.
I am a (23f) and my boyfriend is a (23m). We were high school sweethearts and our relationship lasted at least six years. This story may be long but I think it's best to know the whole story. Also, sorry about my bad grammar and punctuation.
During my time in high school I was always a “good person” even if you don’t want to believe me. I’ve always been the “quiet type" according to my classmates. So, I never thought I would have a relationship during my high school years because I was mostly afraid of men and my parents are strict. The reason why I was afraid of men is a whole different story.
During my first day of high school, I felt more confident about myself and I realized that I wanted to dress up more. So I did and that's when my future boyfriend started noticing me however there was an issue he had a girlfriend. Also, his girlfriend was my best friend. So, I never acknowledged his existence and just focused on my school work and continued with my day. A few months later my best friend cheated on him and they broke it off. That's when I popped in and he asked me out and I said “no” so he waited a couple more days to ask me again. That’s when I agreed to be his girlfriend and I didn’t know what to do because this was my first relationship. To be honest I think I was just a rebound, nothing special.
During this relationship I was clueless what a girlfriend does during a relationship. So, I asked my closest friends for any relationship tips and most of their boyfriends were telling me what to do. The only thing that I wasn’t ready for was intimate stuff because I was still scared of men which made me scared of him. Even if I didn’t feel ready to do most things I forced myself to do anything he wanted because I was scared of him. When I finally had the courage to tell him he was very understanding and we took things slow until I felt more comfortable and ready.
We did everything together. He was my first for everything and I was happy being with him. I was always supportive of him and he was also supportive of me. I genuinely fell in love with him. One day he said “I want us to be serious” when I heard this from him I said “are you sure?” and he said “yes”. Since he wanted to be “serious" I had to tell my parents because I wanted them to know. During this time of happiness there is always sadness that takes place.
One late evening I got a call. He told me that he cheated on me with someone else named Lexis (fake name) and he told me that he might have gotten her pregnant. He told me this wasn’t the first time he cheated. The beginning of our relationship he had intercorse with his ex’ because I told him that I wasn’t ready to be intimate with him. When I heard this from him I was so heartbroken that I started crying and I didn’t know what to do. So, we decided to break up, especially since we graduated from high school.
During this time I decided to go to college and get my associates degree. The first semester was nerve racking however I managed to get straight A’s. During my second semester, my ex boyfriend and I started talking again. He came over to my apartment to give me a gift as an apology for what happened in the past. The gifts contained a bouquet of white roses, chocolate, a necklace and a ring with a blue sapphire in the middle and little diamonds around the sapphire. The ring was a promise ring and I was shocked because he told me it cost him an arm and a leg. I was scared because I know how much his family struggled with money and I didn’t want him to spend his savings on me. I tried to reason with him to return it and get his money back but he really wanted to make this work. So, I agreed to continue our relationship and try to make this work.
We started living together in the apartment and our relationship was doing great. Until one evening he was distant and wouldn’t let me near his phone especially if I wanted to look up something or call someone. So, one evening I had to look through his phone and I knew I was invading his privacy. I just needed to know what was going on. When I looked through his phone I noticed that he's been texting five other women and he was using his rent money for onlyfans. When I was looking over his text message I saw someone familiar and it was Lexis. I wanted to wake him up and confront him, however I knew this wouldn’t do anything. So, I took off his promise ring and put it on my finger because I know I can keep a promise. Of course this became a problem lol.
Of course I forgave him and did whatever he asked of me. I just focused on my studies and tried to make time for our relationship. Everything was great until he told me he had to go to Texas with his grandparents and family. It was surprising because he told me last minute and he rarely goes out of state. But I didn’t want to make a fuss about anything because I adore his grandparents and his whole family. He left for two weeks and I usually update him on what's been going on for the past two weeks.
When he came back I was so happy to see him that we started to cuddle with each other. As days passed I noticed he was distressed about something and I wanted to talk to him but he kept pushing me away. The next day he went to work. It was just a regular day until he came walking through the door a few hours later. He told me he was in pain for a couple of days and some reason he thought the pain would just go away. I told him let's go to the hospital but he kept refusing to go to the hospital. I didn't want him in pain so I convinced him to go to the hospital and I would be there for him.
We went to the hospital and I waited to make sure he was seen and cared for. When he was being cared for I saw one of his aunties working as a security guard and I told her that he was refusing to go to hospital even though he was in pain. She told me to call her if this happens again and she’ll drag him to the hospital herself lol. She really appreciates me for taking care of her nephew. He saw us talking and we spent our time talking to his auntie until his medication was ready at the pharmacy.
As we started to leave, I asked him some questions about the diagnosis or what medication did you receive. He didn’t say much about what happened in the hospital; the only thing he told me was the name of the medication. The medication sounded so familiar especially since I was taking a class about pathophysiology. The medication he mentioned was doxycycline. I remember the medication is an antibiotic which is used to treat infections. This got me thinking about what he was hiding from me. I remember I wrote down his symptoms on my phone. I wanted to ask him more questions and how this happened but I knew I wasn’t going to get an answer.
A day after the hospital incident we plan to go to his family's home and stay for the weekend. I wanted to talk to him about the hospital because I was getting worried about my health. Everytime I tried to talk about it he wouldn’t tell me anything then I started noticing something was wrong with me. So, the next morning when he was fast asleep I had to look through his phone again. When I was looking through his phone he mentioned having sex with Lexis during his family trip to Texas. I knew he was hiding something but I didn't want to believe it. So, I slapped his ass awake and I started yelling "did you have sex with Lexis and what was the diagnosis?” He looked at me in shock and said “yes, I slept with her and the doctor told me I had STI”. I started to cry and I ran out of the room and told his mother and his grandparents. His grandparents were trying to comfort me and his grandpa scolded him saying “he never wants to see me cry again because it was too heartbreaking”. That morning I got ready to go to the hospital to get treated. I remember crying in the hospital and trying to keep a straight face through the whole procedure. I requested for him to be in the room to show him the whole process of what a woman has to go through just to get treated. Since the pharmacy was closed I had to wait for the next day to receive my medication. We started heading back to his home and he told me he will never do it again because he never wanted to see me in a hospital gown. I didn’t have time to cope. I just wanted to finish my semester and try to get closer to finishing my associate without falling apart.
During this whole process I told him to call Lexis about what happened and this is a serious situation that she needs to know. He asked “Why should I?” That is when I said “she had the right to know and I don’t want her to suffer horrible symptoms”. Later that day he told her about the STI situation and told her to get checked. She was upset thinking it was her ex that gave it to her. Few days later I noticed they started texting each other about how life would be with each other. That’s when I got the courage to text her myself on snapchat and asked “do you know a guy named____”. That’s when she said “yes, who are you?” I said “oh, I’m his girlfriend of six years and I would really appreciate you stop texting him”. That's when she sent a voice message saying she didn’t know he had a gf. She remembers my username and whenever she asks “who is that?” he responds saying “oh, that's just my roommate, nothing important”. That made me cry so much and she told me to leave him. He doesn't deserve you. That’s when she called him and I could hear her yelling and she blocked him after that.
After all that, that's when the semester ended I started working at a grocery store part-time. This is when I met a guy named Nathan (fake name) a 43 yr old male who is a first responder who also works part-time at the grocery store. Nathan was a very interesting guy easy to talk to. We usually talked about the classes I was planning to take next semester and we talked about his life when he used to be in his early 20’s. Ever since I started talking to Nathan my boyfriend started getting jealous and started questioning me. I told him nothing is happening between me and the guy that is twice my age.
Since then, summer has come around the corner. I knew my twentieth-second birthday was coming up. My family suggested I should have my birthday at one of the theme parks that's located closer to my older brother. I agreed and my parents also suggested bringing my boyfriend along. I know I was stupid enough to still be with him. He wanted to make this work. Also, I didn't want to abandon him because he had no one at this time and I didn’t want to be heartless. I always try to include him into my family trips. He always denied my invitation especially when it comes to special events such as my birthday. On my upcoming twentieth-second birthday I asked if he wanted to celebrate my birthday with me at the theme park. I asked him six months in advance he couldn’t make a decision and he had only a month to decide. So, I made the decision to take him with me. The trip was great, however, he rarely talked to me during the trip. I didn’t know if he was mad or if I did anything wrong. At least my family and I enjoyed the trip. That's all that matters.
When I came back from my trip I finally relaxed and everything was fine. That’s when I started to burst into tears everything I bottled up was finally taking control. I wanted to talk to my boyfriend about our relationship but he said “I have to go home, I have other things to do, we'll talk later”. So, I tried calling him over the phone because I wanted answers from him. He told me “we need to take a break until you get over it…because it was in the past, you should just take this time to heal because you’re being too emotional”. That's all he said to me and just hung up. I tried calling back but he never answered everyday for the past three weeks.
So, I just went back to my work and just acted like nothing happened. I was so heartbroken that I didn’t know what to do. I kept thinking about what he has done to me especially when he didn’t tell me about the STI. I really thought about how he watched my health decline and never had the heart to tell me the truth. All because he was afraid of the consequences he had to face. I've been with one person in my life and I still got an STI from doing nothing and all I could think about was how my body was ruined because I wasn't careful.
During this heartbreak realization I remember that I was going to school to better myself in the future, not for him. That’s when I started thinking about my career choice and I really wanted to work in the medical field. To be able to do this I need to update some documents which means I need to renew my BLS certification for one of my upcoming classes. That's when Nathan popped into my mind so I contacted him asking if there was any BLS training going on that he knows of. I was happy that Nathan found an opening for me and I signed up for the training for next week. Since I was on the phone with him we started chatting and I started telling him about my relationship with my boyfriend. Nathan was pretty shocked that my boyfriend would ruin a good relationship with someone that actually cared for him. We chatted until I fell asleep on the phone with him and that was the first night I haven’t cried myself to sleep.
After I finished my BLS training, the instructor told me my certification will be sent through my email. Then I saw Nathan helping the instructor packing the equipment up. I asked if I could help, they both agreed and Nathan asked why I wanted to help. I just said “I’m just bored and I just wanted to do something even if it's just putting stuff away”. When we were putting the equipment away, the instructor informed Nathan that he had to go home and told Nathan to finish what we started. As we were leaving he asked if I had a ride home. I said “No, but I would be happy if you could take me home”. FYI I just walked to the BLS training and it wasn’t that far lol.
During this conversation I asked where he was going after he dropped me off. He told me that he had to drop off most of the equipment at his work. Me being curious I asked if he could take me and maybe show me around, thinking he would deny me. He said “sure, I don't mind” and he told me that some of his co-workers might be there. I told him “I don’t mind seeing his co-workers”. His co-workers were very friendly towards me and talkative. Nathan started showing me around the building; it was just a simple tour. I started to notice most of his co-workers left the building to go home or to take care of other stuff. So this means I was alone with him in his office and my mind started to wonder how it would be if I slept with Nathan. I knew if I was going to sleep with Nathan I’m going to feel like a hypocrite. Also he's twice my age, so I had to get my mind out of the gutter. I started telling him different shows to watch to distract me from doing something stupid.
That’s when Nathan started talking about my relationship with my boyfriend and I told him “I don't think I can fix my relationship with him anymore”. We started talking about different things and out of nowhere he started making moves on me. When I noticed this I looked at him and he said “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that”. I really thought about it and I just said “fuck it!!”. As we were making out, his co-workers came back and we had to stop. Later that night he drove me back home and we started talking about what happened. I started tearing up because I had never done anything like this and I was nervous. He reassured me that “it was okay”, he told me that he was also nervous too, especially how this can affect our friendship. That's when I told him I wanted to go through with it so he took me back to his place.
The next morning I came back to my apartment and got ready for the day. And out of nowhere my boyfriend came back home and started showering me with affection. I was scared of him finding out what I did especially if he found the love bites Nathan gave me. I knew he was going to find out soon or later but I wanted to wait because he told me he had a bad day and seeing me his day got better. He also told me that I look sexy for some reason and he wanted to do the devil's tango. So, I just agreed as we were doing the devil's tango he found the love bites and I just said “oh, something hit me lol”. I want to note that I sucked at lying.
Two weeks have passed and I still haven’t told him everything. One night he told me he was going out with his friends to a bar downtown. This was the first time I saw him go to a bar. I remember waiting for him all night until he came back in the afternoon and smelled like cigarettes and a little buzzed. Two days later he said he was heading out again to the bars downtown. I asked if he was coming straight home or are you staying at your friend's house again he never gave me a clear answer. Later that night I got a video call from Nathan. We started talking and I accidently fell asleep on the call with Nathan. That's when my boyfriend came in and noticed the video called this was his opportunity to look through my phone.
I woke up in the middle of the night watching him look through my phone. I didn’t know what to do. He started to yell at me and I was scared to even do anything I just sat there until he was done. I was nervous that he would do something that he would regret while under the influence. I just watched him until he fell asleep in the living room. To be honest I have no clue what is going to happen when he wakes up. The next day it was a normal day. He really didn’t want to talk to me and I knew it would be my turn to face the consequences I made.
As a few weeks passed I started to notice little things missing around the apartment and it was my boyfriend's items. That evening he wouldn’t talk to me and he just grabbed his stuff and left. When he was leaving I tried my best to talk to him but he wasn’t having it. So, I started to cry and that’s when Nathan called me and I told him that he just left without saying anything. Since he was no longer living with me I had to take him off the lease. It really didn’t bother me taking him off because I was the only one paying and he never helped me.
After he left I picked up my big girl pants and started working towards my education. As a few months passed by, I got my drivers license, associate's degree, and got my nursing assistant certification. It may not seem a lot but it is a start to a new beginning and to continue my education in the medical field.
AITA for cheating on my boyfriend and My question is what would you do if you were in my situation?

Hey guys! Ape here, to give a bit of a rundown on all this. Until pretty recently, it seemed as though this match was still going ahead. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. MGT and I finished our booking up on March 30th, and were waiting for MJE to finish theirs up before posting, so there wouldn't be too much of a gap that caused voters to not know what the fuck was going on (especially given how lengthy both bookings were planned to be). This booking took a lot out of all four of us, but I'm glad to be able to post it now, knowing full well that only Inferno is going to read it in its entirety. Thanks. Love you.
For the people who just want to ogle at us for being stupid enough to do this, here are the numbers. This booking meets the agreed upon standards of the original match - each part clears 20k characters, for a total of 701,059 characters. It's 219 pages in Google Docs and 123,683 words long, which is about two Qurans. We just really love John Cena.
As MGT is no longer on Reddit, the whole booking is going to be posted by me. He wrote the first nine parts, and I wrote the rest. If any of you beyond Inferno are mad enough to read this, I truly hope you enjoy it. I'll be putting together a TL;DR in the next few days, explaining the broad strokes of everything that occurs. However, I'll blatantly ask for upvotes here because I think it'd be really funny to drown the sub in a 26 part booking with absolutely nothing on the line. Anyway, I'll let MGT take it from here. Peace out, and I'll see y'all in P10.
I cannot believe we’re doing this. But fuck it. John Cena’s entire career, rebooked.
After signing a developmental contract with WWE and spending months honing his skills at the company's training facility, John Cena finally sees his chance at the big time. Before call ups to the main roster, the best John could hope for was building his name and reputation on OVW, moonlighting on Sunday Night Heat and Velocity. But one day in June 2002, everything changed. Backstage soaking in the environment of Smackdown, John was fascinated with the limelight. Eager to see every nook and cranny, every turn and corner of main roster life, he found himself in Guerilla, watching the live feed along with the producers. His curiosity turns to excitement and eagerness, when he sees the Olympic Gold Medalist in the ring, holding a microphone. Kurt Angle throws out an open challenge for anyone wanting to prove themselves against the Wrestling Machine. And suddenly… Cena sees his chance to make himself a star.
One Hour Later…
Cena gets dressed, ready to head home for the night. He didn’t win against Kurt… but answering the open challenge was just what he needed. A taste of what was to come. A sneak peak at the future of his burgeoning career. John shakes hands with a lot of the veterans in the locker room, the likes of Taker, Billy Gunn, and Rikishi having already taken him under their wings after seeing his heart and passion in the ring. Cena smiles as he leaves the locker room, mind set on getting inside the bus and crashing into a deep slumber. But John’s smile fades, his entire face turning to one of confusion when he’s handed an envelope by one of the producers. Walking out the door and getting hit with the sharp wind, John opens the envelope, and his heart drops…
A pink slip is held with an iron grip between his fingers. Everything he was dreaming of, slowly sinking to the depths of Hell before his very eyes. Just another young gun, sent to the dogs by Vinny Mac himself. He saw his chance, took it… and still got canned. Cena feels the cold, unforgiving wind snatch away the pink slip, sending it flying into the night sky along with his career.
July 17th, 2002
In the heart of Nashville, Tennessee, the raucous TNA Asylum buzzes with anticipation as fans eagerly await the latest weekly PPV. Tonight, the atmosphere crackles with excitement as the reigning NWA World Champion, the World's Most Dangerous Man, Ken Shamrock, is scheduled for an exclusive interview segment. The Asylum is adorned with the regal insignia of the National Wrestling Alliance and the young TNA logo as the cameras focus in on the interview area. Ken Shamrock, with the prestigious NWA World Championship draped over his shoulder, stands tall backstage for an interview with a respected wrestling journalist. Shamrock exudes an aura of dominance and confidence as he speaks about his championship reign and the legacy of the NWA World Championship. He emphasizes the importance of competition and vows to defend the title against all comers.
As the interview progresses, Shamrock drops a bombshell announcement that electrifies the audience. With a smirk, he declares an open challenge for later that night, inviting any wrestler in the locker room to step up and face him in the ring for the NWA World Championship. The declaration sends shockwaves through the arena, as fans and wrestlers alike buzz with anticipation at the prospect of witnessing an impromptu championship match.
As the night unfolds and the main event draws near, speculation runs rampant about who will answer Shamrock's open challenge. Will it be a seasoned veteran looking to reclaim past glory? Or perhaps a hungry up-and-comer seeking to make a name for themselves on the grand stage? As the arena pulses with excitement, the moment arrives. Ken Shamrock stands in the center of the ring, microphone in hand, ready to address the crowd once more. Suddenly, the arena erupts into cheers as a familiar theme hits the speakers. To the surprise of everyone in attendance, a young and determined John Cena emerges from the curtain, his eyes locked on the NWA World Championship held high by Shamrock. Half of the crowd doesn’t recognize him, while the most in the know fans slowly remember the story of a young gun challenging Kurt Angle on Smackdown and immediately being fired to the outrage of many WWE vets and officials alike. It seems as if the big corporation has dropped the ball on a young talent, and he’s decided to take his chance in the biggest way possible.
NWA World Championship: Ken Shamrock (c) vs John Cena
With a smirk of confidence, Cena steps forward to accept Shamrock's challenge, setting the stage for an unexpected clash between the seasoned champion and the rookie sensation. In a match filled with intensity and drama, Shamrock and Cena trade blows in a hard-fought battle for the NWA World Championship. Despite Shamrock's experience and tenacity, Cena showcases his raw talent and determination, refusing to back down. The building erupts with every blow, soon having everyone on the edge of their seat.
Shamrock and Cena engage in a fierce battle for the NWA World Championship. Despite Cena's raw talent and determination, Shamrock's experience and tenacity prove to be too much to overcome. Throughout the match, Shamrock demonstrates his mastery of submission holds and ground-and-pound tactics, wearing down Cena with each punishing blow. Despite Cena's valiant efforts, Shamrock refuses to stay down, fighting tooth and nail to retain his championship. In the end, after a grueling contest, Ken Shamrock emerges victorious, securing the win and solidifying his status as the undisputed NWA World Champion.
Ken Shamrock defeats John Cena to retain the NWA World Championship (14:29)
Despite losing to Shamrock, Cena's debut in TNA sparks many headlines and rumors, the young star once again proving himself against a seasoned vet. He continues to rise in TNA, consistently opening the shows throughout the summer and putting on banger matches with the likes of Sabu, Jerry Lyn, and Raven. By September, John says he might’ve stumbled the first couple times when stepping up to the plate. But he promises… next time, he won’t flinch, and he won’t hesitate to finish the job.
September 25, 2002
In the vibrant world of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, John Cena has had a great summer proving himself, and showing the world what he’s made of. The TNA Asylum has grown to love the Prototype, his humble and simple gear hiding the fact that he’s one of the industry’s leading young stars. The crowd is already buzzing with excitement when it’s announced John is slated to be in the semi main event, a big jump from being TNA’s regular opener. But they get even more buckwild when tonight's event promises an electrifying showdown between two rising stars: rookie sensation John Cena and the high-flying prodigy, AJ Styles. Both Cena and Styles have been making waves in TNA since their debuts, capturing the attention of fans and management alike with their unique styles and undeniable charisma. The big screen shows both men preparing for war. Cena shadowboxing and Styles hitting a round of push ups to get the blood flowing. It’s about to get crazy in the Asylum.
John Cena vs AJ Styles
As the Asylum fills to capacity, the atmosphere crackles with excitement. The crowd roars with anticipation as Cena's familiar theme music blares over the speakers, signaling his arrival. Dressed in his trademark gear and brimming with confidence, Cena struts to the ring, soaking in the adulation of the fans. Moments later, the arena erupts once again as AJ Styles makes his grand entrance, his aerial maneuvers and flashy attire captivating the audience. With a determined look in his eyes, Styles locks his gaze on Cena, ready to prove himself against his formidable opponent.
The match begins with a flurry of action, as Cena and Styles trade holds and counterholds, each showcasing their respective strengths and skills. The crowd is on the edge of their seats as the momentum shifts back and forth between the two rookies. In the climax of the match, Styles executes a breathtaking series of high-flying maneuvers, springboarding to knock John off his feet both inside and outside the ring. Finally getting him woozy enough, his offense culminates in his signature Styles Clash, the audience popping for the deadly finisher. With a thunderous impact, Cena crashes to the canvas, and the referee counts the pinfall.
AJ Styles defeats John Cena (15:01)
As the bell rings, signaling Styles' victory, the Center Stage Theater erupts in cheers and applause. Styles celebrates his hard-fought win, basking in the adulation of the crowd. Meanwhile, Cena lies on the mat, visibly frustrated and bitter over his defeat. The loss serves as a wake-up call for Cena, igniting a fire within him to prove himself even more and ascend to the top of the wrestling world. He picks himself up, and storms away, not satisfied with putting on a great show. He wants more. And whatever it takes to BE more, he will do it by any means necessary.
Following big loss after big loss, Cena grows frustrated with his lack of success in TNA. Determined to make a name for himself, he is on the verge of a major transformation. As he struggles to find his footing in the competitive landscape of TNA, Cena decides it’s time to make a change. One that will unlock his full potential and give him the footing he needs to cement himself as a star that’s here to stay. Cena begins to enter the Asylum every week with newfound swagger and charisma, bubbling with arrogance as he captivates the audience with his razor-sharp wit and cutting edge promos, earning the admiration of some fans while drawing the ire of others.
Cena puts his head down and begins to work, knowing a bunch of talk isn’t enough to shake things up. He goes back to opening shows back to back, tearing the house down with guys like BG James, Christopher Daniels, and K Krush. He begins to see a shift in his fortunes in TNA, finally forcing the doubts in his head to become more quiet with every passing day. Bolstered by his newfound confidence and aggression, Cena embarks on a winning streak, dominating his opponents with a combination of ruthless aggression and cunning tactics. With each victory, Cena's ego swells, and his interactions with fans and fellow wrestlers become increasingly confrontational. He revels in the mixed reception of the crowd, embracing his role as a polarizing figure in TNA.
As Cena's winning streak continues, his evolution into something more fierce becomes increasingly apparent. Gone is the affable rookie who once endeared himself to the fans; in his place stands a calculating and ruthless competitor willing to do whatever it takes to achieve victory. Cena's promos grow more abrasive and antagonistic, as he mocks his opponents and trolls the fans who once cheered him on.
November 6th, 2002
Another weekly banger of a show kicks off in the TNA Asylum. The fans are going crazy as another lineup of matches makes their excitement double and triple. Everyone is going crazy as the main event of tonight’s Asylum show is revealed… TNA X Champion AJ Styles defending his title against none other than Jerry Lynn.
In the heart of Nashville, Tennessee, the Asylum buzzes with anticipation as TNA Wrestling prepares for another thrilling night of action. Tonight's event features a highly anticipated match for the TNA X Championship, with reigning champion AJ Styles set to defend his title against the seasoned veteran Jerry Lynn.
As AJ Styles makes his way to the ring, the crowd erupts in cheers, eager to witness another exhilarating display of athleticism from the X Champion. As Styles makes his entrance, soaking in the adulation of the crowd, a man strikes with ruthless efficiency. With a sudden burst of speed, he ambushes Styles from behind, blindsiding him with a steel chair and laying waste to the X Champion with a barrage of vicious strikes. It’s John Cena, completing his descent into darkness, deciding his first victim will be the very loss that made him make the switch. The Asylum erupts into chaos as referees and security personnel rush to intervene, desperately trying to separate Cena from his helpless prey. But Cena is relentless, driven by a thirst for vengeance and a desire to make a statement at Styles' expense. After half a dozen officials and referees pour out, Cena decides he’s done enough, dropping the chair at the carcass of his unfortunate victim. Styles is already bleeding, clutching his ribs and back as Jerry Lynn watches on. But as his attacker walks off, Styles shocks the entire building by pressing forward, stumbling to the ring, dragging his title behind him. Determined to be the fighting champion he promised he would always be. Lynn looks him up and down, the referee asking AJ once, twice, three times if he’s able to compete. Styles winces and nods, and before you know it, the bell rings.
TNA X Championship: AJ Styles (c) vs Jerry Lynn
As the match gets underway, the crowd erupts with excitement as Styles and Lynn lock up in the center of the ring. Styles, known for his agility and aerial prowess, struggles to find his footing as Lynn presses the attack, targeting Styles' injured ribs with ruthless precision. Despite his best efforts, Styles is unable to shake off the effects of his injury, hampering his ability to execute his trademark high-flying maneuvers. With each passing minute, the pain becomes increasingly unbearable, threatening to derail his chances of victory.
As the match wears on, Styles fights through the pain, drawing upon every ounce of determination and resilience within him to stay in the fight. However, Lynn, sensing an opportunity to capitalize on Styles' weakened state, unleashes a relentless assault, battering Styles from pillar to post with a series of punishing holds and strikes.The crowd watches in silent anticipation as Styles valiantly attempts to mount a comeback, but his injured ribs betrays him at every turn, leaving him vulnerable to Lynn's relentless onslaught.
In the final moments of the match, Styles digs deep, summoning one last burst of energy in a desperate bid to turn the tide. With the crowd on their feet, he launches himself into the air, attempting to hit a springboard forearm! But the effort proves to be too much for Styles' battered body, and in a cruel twist of fate, his injured ribs receive a sharp kick from Lynn in mid air, sending him crashing to the canvas in a heap. Lynn drags Styles to his feet, and DROPS him with a cradle piledriver. As the referee counts the pinfall, the Asylum falls silent, overcome with a sense of heartbreak and disappointment at seeing one of their heroes fall short in his moment of need. With a heavy heart, Styles’ eyes glaze over as Lynn is declared the winner, his dreams of victory shattered by the cruel hand of fate.
Jerry Lynn defeats AJ Styles to win the TNA X Championship (20:47)
By the time order is restored, Styles lies battered and bruised in the center of the ring, his chances of competing in the scheduled match against Jerry Lynn dashed by Cena's brutal assault. In the aftermath of the title change, Cena stands tall amidst the wreckage, a malevolent grin spreading across his face as he revels in the chaos he has wrought. After delivering a nasty FU to Styles, leaving him even more broken than before, the crowd drowns Cena in boos, finally fully turning on him. But all he can do is smile. With the X Championship now in his sights, Cena's reign of terror has only just begun, leaving a trail of destruction in his wake as he asserts his dominance in TNA as the ruthless Doctor of Thuganomics.
In the fast paced world of Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, the X Championship is the symbol of athleticism, innovation, and excitement. Three competitors. Jerry Lynn, AJ Styles, and the brash newcomer, Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena find themselves entangled in a bitter feud over the coveted title. After losing the title to Lynn due to Cena’s brutal attack before the match, Styles is on a mission to make someone pay. He only has eyes on regaining the gold, and claiming revenge. He returns from his injuries a month after the match, defeating Amazing Red in a clinic of a match, before calling out Lynn, and threatening Cena with the prospect of a shortened career if he thinks about involving himself again.
Jerry Lynn successfully defends his X Championship against a string of challengers while Styles is out, claiming that he’s taken the throne as the ultimate fighting champion. He cuts promos and has interviews before and after his matches, pushing the narrative that he’s been the greatest champion this company has ever seen. Eventually, Styles has had enough, and hits the scene to confront him. AJ calls Lynn a fluke champion, and says the moment they face each other again, the world will know how much bullshit he’s been spouting. Lynn slaps the taste out of AJ’s mouth, causing the young star to lose his mind, wailing on Lynn until referees come out to separate the two! Lynn laughs off the altercation, and walks off, ready to leave for the night. But in a moment of pure irony, he gets the taste slapped out of HIS mouth, causing him to drop his title. Cena pounces, throwing Lynn into his own car door and standing over him with his own title.
“Be grateful I let you have this. Because it’s coming home soon, bitch…”
Tensions are reaching a fever pitch. The Asylum is begging for this match to happen, and finally to the excitement of everyone, it’s confirmed. The X Champion Jerry Lynn defends his coveted title against the pissed off prodigy AJ Styles and the hard hitting loudmouth John Cena. Be there or die!
December 18th, 2002
In the electric atmosphere of the Asylum, the X Championship is on the line in a highly anticipated match featuring three of the promotion's most dynamic competitors: the reigning champion, Jerry Lynn, the high-flying sensation AJ Styles, and the brash newcomer, Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena. With tensions simmering between all three it’s finally time to capitalize and give the fans what they want! Footage shows Jerry Lynn being approached by an interviewer. The champ is unfazed, being a seasoned veteran with a storied history in the business. But he promises, the last thing he’s doing is underestimating the competition. Later on in the night, the two hungry young lions are seen warming up backstage, ready to take their chance to transform from challenger to champion. As the match draws near, anticipation reaches a fever pitch, with fans and wrestlers alike speculating about who will emerge victorious in this clash of titans.
TNA X Championship: Jerry Lynn (c) vs AJ Styles vs John Cena
As the bell rings, the three competitors waste no time in launching into action, trading lightning-fast strikes and high-flying maneuvers in a dizzying display of athleticism and skill. The pace of the match is relentless, with Lynn, Styles, and Cena each showcasing their bold offense, and near superhuman strengths and abilities. Throughout the match, the tide of momentum shifts back and forth, as Lynn, Styles, and Cena each come close to securing victory with near falls and close calls. The Asylum is on its feet, captivated by the breathtaking spectacle unfolding before their eyes.
In the final moments of the match, chaos ensues as Lynn delivers his signature Cradle Piledriver to Cena, leaving him dazed and vulnerable on the canvas. Lynn tries to make the pin, but STYLES OUT OF NOWHERE, SPIRAL TAP SENDS HIM CRASHING INTO BOTH MEN! THE PIN IS BROKEN! Cena rolls out while Lynn and Styles slowly climb to their feet, and go blow for blow, keeping the fans on edge as they root back and forth! Lynn attempts a Cradle Piledriver on AJ, but he escapes, wriggling through the legs and delivering a nasty forearm to the back of the head. Lynn falls forward, and Styles grabs him up, trying to set up a Styles Clash! Lynn lifts out of it, forcing AJ to fly over the top rope! Lynn falls to the mat, desperately trying to recover. He slowly regains balance, standing up and turning around, STRAIGHT INTO A SPRINGBOARD FOREARM, JESUS!
Styles, rushing as fast as he can, lifts Lynn and sets up for the Clash! It’s almost over! He hooks the arms, deathgrip with the hands, and SLAMS HIM FULL CONTACT TO THE MAT! It’s OVER! AJ flips him over, ONLY TO BE DRAGGED OUTSIDE THE RING! Cena HEADBUTTS Styles, and hits a brutal FU, sending AJ back first into the steel steps! Cena jumps onto Lynn, the referee sliding into position, and making the pin. 1… 2… 3. The Asylum erupts in disbelief as the referee declares John Cena the new X Champion. Cena's victory comes at the expense of Styles, who valiantly fought for redemption, only to be denied the championship in the closing moments.
John Cena defeats AJ Styles & Jerry Lynn to win the TNA X Championship (14:48)
As Cena celebrates his hard-fought victory, the Asylum is divided in its reaction, with some fans cheering his triumph while others voice their displeasure at the controversial ending to the match. Meanwhile, Styles and Lynn exchange a tired, knowing glance. Their mutual respect is thrown into the melting pot with anger, frustration, and the thirst for gold. On the final show of 2002, a week before Christmas no less, Cena rides off into the sunset with his head held high. Happy fucking holidays.
The year is now 2003. Despite the Christmas break and New Year’s festivities, ain’t shit to smile about when the new X Champion returns from vacation. The former Prototype emerges in the form of Doctor of Thuganomics John Cena. With the championship belt gleaming around his waist, Cena struts through the backstage corridors of the Asylum, exuding an air of arrogance and entitlement. A thick steel chain hangs around his neck with a padlock on the end, Cena tapping it with the title as he shoves producers and jabronis out of the way. An interviewer prepares for his arrival, ready to dig for some insight into the mind of the X Champion. But Cena brushes past her without a glance, flat out declining a place on the hot seat, for once not taking the opportunity to run his mouth.
Cena wastes no time in asserting his dominance, entering the Asylum to a chorus of boos. John smirks, before raising his title and turning his ballcap to the side as he joins commentary. He watches the first match of the night, staring down both competitors intensely, losing focus to verbally dunk on the commentators every once in a while. The second match goes down the same way, but by the third, Cena takes it up a notch. In the closing moments of Ron Killings vs Christopher Daniels, the Fallen Angel prepares for the deathblow. Gripping the ropes, he shoots up for the Best Moonsault Ever, only for the bell to suddenly ring out as he lands on the top rope! He looks over to see Cena obnoxiously banging the ring bell, forcing all eyes on him. Snatching a mic from the timekeeper, he announces that he’s bored, demanding this get wrapped up. Daniels yells out to him, only to get knocked off the top rope by Killings! Cena collects his title and walks off, glancing at Killings attacking Daniels on the outside ferociously.
Cena doesn’t stop there. The Doctor of Thuganomics tears down posters of the TNA roster backstage, replacing them with advertisements for his next show. Pictures of himself adorned with the X Championship line the walls, serving as a constant reminder of his supremacy. His fellow wrestlers are met with sneers and dismissive remarks, as Cena makes it clear that he considers himself untouchable. Despite this, potential challengers emerge from the ranks of TNA's rising stars. Cena takes pleasure in undermining their confidence and stoking the flames of animosity. He conducts interviews filled with insults and boasts, belittling his opponents and scoffing at their aspirations to dethrone him. Backstage altercations become a regular occurrence as Cena's arrogance rubs his fellow wrestlers the wrong way. His taunts and provocations only serve to further fuel the growing resentment towards him.
Inside the ring, Cena's tactics become increasingly nefarious as he resorts to interference and cheating to maintain his grip on the X Championship. He inserts himself into matches involving potential challengers, lurking at ringside to distract or attack them at the opportune moment. Costing Chris Sabin a #1 contender's match against Amazing Red leaves the Detroit native furious, being screwed out of an opportunity to rise up in the company. Red promises Sabin a shot if he manages to win. But that doesn’t work out. John bullies Red, throwing him around like he’s made of dust. He stumbles at times when the small upstart gives him a run for his money, but he manages to quench the flame, overpowering Red and landing an FU for the win. Despite the clean dominant win, referees still find themselves constantly on edge, wary of Cena's underhanded tactics but often powerless to prevent them. Cena exploits every loophole and bends every rule to his advantage, leaving a trail of controversy and frustration in his wake.
Despite the backlash from his peers and the disdain of the fans, Cena's reign of terror shows no signs of abating. With each passing week, he becomes more emboldened, relishing in the chaos and turmoil he creates. As TNA's X Champion, Cena's stranglehold on the title tightens, leaving incoming young rookies with no hope of having a chance at stardom. Whether through intimidation, manipulation, or outright cheating, he will stop at nothing to retain his championship and solidify his status as the most despised figure in TNA. And as long as Cena holds the X Championship, the reign of Thuganomics will continue to cast a shadow over the world of professional wrestling.
John’s ego grows with every passing day holding the strap in his iron grip. But lurking in the shadows of the Asylum is a formidable challenger, none other than the former champion, Jerry Lynn. As rumors swirl of Jerry Lynn's imminent return, anticipation reaches a fever pitch among TNA fans. Lynn, a seasoned veteran with a storied history before he even joined the company, vows to reclaim the championship he once held with pride. His words send shockwaves through the wrestling world, igniting a firestorm of speculation and excitement.
In the weeks leading up to their showdown, Cena and Lynn engage in a war of words, trading barbs and insults in backstage confrontations and fiery promos. Cena, ever the brash and arrogant champion, dismisses Lynn as a relic of the past, unworthy of sharing the ring with him. He already got his title, and embarrassed him enough to not show his face for a month. He’s the last person on Cena’s mind. But Lynn refuses to back down, vowing to teach Cena a lesson in humility and respect. As tensions escalate, the animosity between Cena and Lynn spills over into physical altercations, with backstage brawls erupting at every turn. Their clashes leave a trail of destruction in their wake, as furniture is overturned, walls are punched through, and security personnel struggle to maintain order. Meanwhile, TNA management scrambles to contain the chaos, fearing that the impending showdown between Cena and Lynn could tear the promotion apart.
February 19th, 2003
At another weekly PPV, the stage is set for a showdown of epic proportions as Cena defends his X Championship against Lynn in a highly anticipated match. The atmosphere is electric as the two competitors make their grand entrances, their eyes locked in a steely gaze of determination.
TNA X Championship: John Cena (c) vs Jerry Lynn
From the opening bell, the match is a brutal and hard-fought affair, with Cena using every trick in the book to maintain his advantage. But Lynn, fueled by years of experience and a burning desire for redemption, refuses to stay down, mounting a ferocious counterattack that leaves Cena reeling. In the climax of the match, with victory within his grasp, Lynn prepares to deliver his signature Cradle Piledriver to Cena. But before he can execute the move, Cena cunningly rakes Lynn's eyes, temporarily blinding him and leaving him vulnerable to Cena's devastating FU finisher. With Lynn incapacitated, Cena seizes the opportunity to make the cover, as the referee counts the three-count, declaring Cena the winner and still X Champion. The Asylum erupts in huge boos as Cena celebrates his tainted victory, while Lynn lies battered and defeated in the center of the ring, his dreams of reclaiming the championship shattered.
John Cena defeats Jerry Lynn to retain the TNA X Championship (13:17)
Cena laughs, placing a Timberland boot on Lynn’s chest, raising his title with pride. Stone washed jeans and his trademark padlock chain on his neck. The Champ… is here.