My husband's (Jake) ex (Heather) hates me. They divorced about two years before I met him. He had an 8 year old son (Jamie). Heather wanted me to stay away from Jamie. She went out of her way to make sure that he and I never got a chance to get to know each other.
She would mess with their custody schedule, give Jake bad information regarding Jamie's activities, sign Jamie up for activities whenever I might have free time.
I didn't care really. I liked Jake and she was giving us plenty of alone time. Enough that we fell in love moved in together and got married two years later in.
She kept trying to mess things up but now I was in the house all the time when Jake had his custody time. She still hates me because I'm the reason Jake never went back to her. NOT TRUE.
When Jamie was 13 Heather met he current husband. She started letting Jake have extra time with Jamie. She still wanted me to stay away from him and would not give me any sort of authority over him. It was fine in the house but it became an issue with Jamie's school. Eventually the lawyers fixed everything and I could help with school and medical emergencies. None have ever happened, yet, fingers crossed.
Jamie was always standoffish with me because of how much his mom hates me. But he needed help with math. I am great at math, Jake not so much. So I started tutoring him. I have been doing so for four years plus now.
Jamie just graduated with honors. He got to give a speech as the top student athlete of his school. I was in the audience and I cried when he thanked me and said that he would not be where he was without me taking the time to help him when he was struggling. He said that as a bonus mom he could not imagine someone better.
Heather lost her shit. I never talk to her. Jake only communicates through lawyers. Jamie knew it would piss her off if she knew we were on good terms so he never told her.
She actually screamed at me at the restaurant where we went to celebrate Jamie that I was an asshole for stealing away her husband and her son. I felt really bad for her husband until he got up and walked out.
They are getting divorced. Not because of the screaming. It was already happening. He had just agreed to come to the graduation to put on a show.
I did not know she wanted me to basically ignore Jamie and allow him to fail I guess. She is still furious.
I'm lost. I thought I was doing the right thing for a kid. I love Jamie but I have never really been his step mom. More of a trusted adult and friend.

@ u/Educational-Slide-19
[Note: I was blocked from the original thread you commented on, so I could not reply there, but I did want to address the points you made. Quoted below are your comments followed by my responses. Thank you for taking the time to comment.]

"The return of Christ in 70 AD was a public event for the land (translated, earth) of Judea, but he didn't touch down on the earth. In his next coming, he will rule from Jerusalem."
If it was a public event, we would have records from those times. We would at the very least have records of eyewitness accounts from people around Judea, as that would hardly be an event that is just passed over and forgotten. People in Judea who saw it would keep records, or at the very least, there would be records of seeing something other than the temple being razed/Jerusalem being destroyed by the Roman forces, because by your position that this is also where the church was actually taken. Hardly a "small and insignificant event". Records would've existed of these miraculous occurrences. History and anthropology would back it up. We have none. Zero. Zilch. Zip. Nada.

At the time, Christians were undergoing empire-wide persecutions. The Jews were fighting a bloody war with Rome that eventually lead to their death, enslavement, and exile from the Land.
Who had the time to document such historical accounts?
Of those who did, why would they? Why would the Jews want to admit that they killed their Messiah? Why would the Romans want to lend credence to Christianity and undermine their own state religion? Why would the Christians who were left behind want to document their shame?
And if any such documentation existed, how would it have survived? Do you realize how much of a miracle it is that we have the Biblical manuscripts that we have today?

A good explanation and deconstruction of the preterist's beliefs exists here.

Both Old and New Testament prophets sometimes describe a national judgment with symbolic language picturing the end of the world. That is the case here, making it difficult to know exactly which verses fit which event. Thankfully, Luke clearly distinguishes between the events of A.D. 70 and the events surrounding Jesus’ final and visible return in person at the close of human history. He does this by inserting an intervening era not mentioned by Matthew or by Mark — an era that will separate God’s judgment on Jerusalem from his final judgment of the entire world. Jesus identifies this period as “the times of the Gentiles” (Luke 21:24). During this intervening era, said Jesus, the Jews would be scattered among the nations and Jerusalem would be “trampled under foot by the Gentiles.” Based on this detail recorded only by Luke, we may also draw a line also in the accounts of Matthew and Mark, separating Jerusalem’s fall in A.D. 70 (Matt. 24:4-22; Mark 13:5-20) from Jesus’ personal return in power at the close of earthly history (Matt. 24:23-31; Mark 13:21-27). Indeed, with generations of Christians who preceded us, we may confidently affirm that Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again (visibly, according to Acts 1:11).

Luke makes it perfectly clear that you (preterists) have combined events where there was an actual clear dividing line between the Matthew/Mark narratives.
If you want to continue to believe that Jesus came in 70AD, more power to you I suppose.
However again, even if Jesus did not physically touch down on the earth during His "coming in 70AD", his coming would've been accompanied by signs and wonders, including the taking of the "church", seen by those in Judea and written down feverishly in first hand accounts by witnesses for people elsewhere to see, and venerate, and regret that they weren't the ones taken. There would've been some mention of some miraculous event, perhaps diluted and changed and warped through the years of record keeping, but something that happened that was of a miraculous nature.
Yet there are no records, no anecdotes, no witnesses to this public event that, even if it was limited to Judea, would've had many, many witnesses, both among the Roman legions and the locals of Judea.

I'm not a full preterist.
I don't know how much of my original comment you've read, but I stated that there are actual two separate returns of Christ which are easily overlooked. One happened in 70AD as described in Revelation 6:12-17, and the other is still to come, when Jesus returns to rule the earth from Jerusalem. This is depicted in Revelation 19.
There are other passages that support this two-fold "Day of the Lord" model. Nevertheless, the faithful members of the Church were taken into the clouds in 70 AD (commonly known as the rapture). This is evident in the fact that there are no longer any apostles to shepherd us into the unity of faith. There is no Church on earth without apostles on earth.
[Eph 4:11-13 NASB95] 11 And *He gave some [as] apostles, and some [as] prophets, and some [as] evangelists, and some [as] pastors and teachers, 12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; 13 **until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.*

Just no.

Respectfully, this is not a valid argument, nor is it conducive to an honest discussion of the matter.

Ironically, the two things aren't related. My marriage had already been dead, but I had been trying to hang in there until the Fall when my son started school. It's just constant tension, conflict, awfulness.
My brother, who has been clean and sober since about 2018, relapsed a few weeks ago and then died of a fentanyl overdose. He was even trying to get back in a halfway house, and had been back on dope for such a short period of time he hadn't even lost his job. He'd literally worked a double shift, gone home, and done it before going to bed. I know he hadn't told me or our mom because he was ashamed and I can't stop thinking about how if I'd just tried to be more upfront that I would be there for him if he relapsed.
We'd grown so close over the last few years - we'd become almost estranged while he was strung out, but after he got clean he became literally this great person who helped my mom, took care of his older daughter, got married and had two new kids and was like an incredible father. We talked on the phone a lot - he drove a dump truck and I sit in traffic on my commute so I'd call at lunch or on the way home. I have no friends in this city, and my wife has never been someone I can talk to. In addition to the loss of my brother, my best and only real friend is gone, too.
I just can't believe he's gone. After so much of my life was spent waiting for this, only for me to finally think this part of my life was past, then out of the blue he's dead. The first thing that hits me every morning when I wake up is that he's gone. It feels like a piece of me is missing. I wake up every morning feeling like I only have one lung.
Anyway on top of this my terrible marriage is terrible. My wife did her duty by watching the kids so I could go home for the weekend to see my family, even though she keeps noting how I didn't come back a day earlier like she asked (I was home less than 72 hours before coming back to help her with the kids, despite it being a 9 hour drive each way).
Since getting back two weeks ago she has asked me how I'm doing one time. She said "so is that whole thing still bothering you or are you trying not to think about it." I said something to the effect of "no I'm still really upset", to which she replied "oh, huh." and that was it. That's been it.
I can't wait to be rid of her. I can't wait to not hear her nagging me about every fucking thing on the never ending list of minor bullshit she needs handled (I do about 80% of the housework and make about 80% of the money, she spends most of her time on instragram and curating her Posh Peanut collection). I can't wait to just be free and only see her when we trade the kids. But, I'm trying to hold out until Kindergarten starts, so it's easier on my son, but i really don't know if i can make it.
Just not sure how the fuck I'm supposed to get through the next few months.

I don’t really know where to start this post or in which forum to post it, but here goes.
It all began when I was 15 years old. I messaged a 16-year-old boy to talk about poetry, a passion of mine at the time. We moved in the same circles—his cousin went to my school, and most of the girls at my school were friends or family with the boys at his school. In December 2014, as silly kids in love, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I agreed, and we started dating. A few months later, we decided to let our parents know. My mom laughed when I told her I had a boyfriend, but she agreed to let me date him as long as I kept my grades up, if not better. I was her perfect kid—always on top of my class, quiet, obedient.
After high school, I moved to the US and earned a bachelor's degree in nursing. My boyfriend went to a different state and graduated with a bachelor's degree in business. He graduated before me and moved to my state to be closer, as we had been doing long distance. In December, on our seventh anniversary, he proposed, and we got married a few months later. We rushed because we wanted to finally live together and live our love. However, we both wanted him to be stable, meaning we needed to file immigration papers for him since I had become a permanent resident through my mom. Everything seemed fine.
One year before his graduation, while he was visiting me, his mom asked him to marry one of her friend's daughters for residency. She assured him that the girl was not as pretty as me but was a good, church-going girl. My boyfriend refused, saying he wouldn't do that to me. I was around 20 at the time, and I was furious and hurt. Why would she do that to me while always being friendly and asking me what gifts I wanted? When I confronted her, she claimed it was a joke and accused me of invading her privacy. I left it at that, but the incident haunted me.
We talked it out at my boyfriend’s graduation in 2021. She insisted I had taken it the wrong way. My boyfriend proposed on our seventh anniversary, and we got married in a court ceremony in July. We moved in together a few months later, after I started my dream nursing job.
In October, on the one-year anniversary of earning my nursing license, I lost my job. It was surreal because the night before, I had a dream that someone tried to shoot me, and my mom was trying to protect me. A few days later, we received a deportation letter for my husband because I wasn't a citizen yet. Fortunately, I had applied for citizenship two months prior. I decided to tell my mother-in-law. She claimed she had a feeling something was wrong because she dreamed I was pregnant, but my husband had reassured her everything was fine.
November and December came, but no job offers, despite positive interviews. My mom couldn't believe it since nurses are always in demand. My mental health plummeted. Two days before Christmas, I had a dream about receiving a black car, and the following night, a black cake. These dreams left me feeling uneasy. My mom sought advice from elders, and they told us to pray, as the dreams seemed ominous.
My eyes started twitching nonstop, my ears rang incessantly, and my heart raced, though my pulse was normal. My uncle, who practices voodoo, consulted a priest to understand what was happening. The priest revealed that someone had done extensive work to separate my husband and me and had caused me to lose my job because I hadn’t divorced him. Skeptical, I dismissed it at first, but the priest asked me to identify someone I had a conflict with and became rancorous. I couldn’t think of anyone but mentioned my mother-in-law. My family found it hard to believe, as she had always been like a second mother to me.
The priest gave me instructions to reveal the perpetrator, and I dreamed of my mother-in-law. Things worsened, and we discovered she was part of a secret society and had sold me to them in December. She had initially sold her son as a sacrifice, but since we were married, she switched him with me. She stopped texting me in January 2024, and my husband and I slept at my mom’s house out of fear. We removed a bracelet his mom gave him, which the priest said was cursed.
In April, my mother-in-law sent me a strange birthday message, expressing love and admiration for me. I blocked her. My husband believed in the coincidences and the night terrors he experienced. He told his grandma, who was skeptical but didn’t dismiss the possibility since she had a weird mystical spiritual kind of dispute with my MIL uncle when my husband was about to be born. She found it weird cause my MIL cheated for 3 years in her marriage with a friend of the husband. She told my hubby she didn’t tell the dad to divorce him even when they were separated for some time, she only advised the son to work it out and not telling her anything about what the wife did to him. Grandma said how could she do that to us when her, she asked his son to work things with her.
My husband spoke to his dad, who initially doubted the story but then after telling my husband he went to a voodoo priest, he said to my hubby that is not true what I told him and suggested I might be trying to distance him from his mom. This strained our relationship as my husband believed his dad. My dad, with his familial spiritual insight, saw that my mother-in-law continued to target me despite being judged in the spirit world and found guilty.
Now, I feel trapped. My husband, my best friend, doesn’t believe his mother could do this, yet she continues her witchcraft. My family is at a loss, never expecting such a situation. I fear for my safety and sanity, constantly praying and crying. If I divorce my husband, he might get deported. We will have been married for two years in July and together for a decade in December. He is my family and my best friend, but I don’t know if I can have children with him, knowing his family, especially his mother, is after me. I don’t want to spend my life in fear. I am lost. And I love him…

Sorry for all of the scripts I am dropping in such a short amount of time and flooding the sub; I’m having fun with it haha. A script concept that my fave vtuber (and best friend) CelineWhitetail requested!
Okay to monetize, okay to paywall (share with me), okay to gender swap, okay to edit if it is to make changes related to swapping of genders but nothing else (there is a line in there about dudes not being allowed in the women’s dressing room so, that might be a challenge to adapt).
If you like this and want to record it, please credit me as GulltheCactus on Reddit, Twitter, or Twitch!
Scriptbin link: https://scriptbin.works/s/84c4w
A longer NSFW version will be posted on the sister spicy sub and on my Scriptbin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[mall ambience, sneakers on tile]
Okay, I still can’t believe you’ve never had a date at the mall. It’s like…a rite of passage in high school.
Yeah, I mean, you would go to the mall with your friends on a Friday night and all of the boys would go too and you would awkwardly flirt by teasing and playing hard to get in the food court until one couple got brave and dared to break away from the group and hold hands. Then the rest of the group would make fun of them while the guy would buy his new girlfriend stupid things from Hot Topic! Malls are perfect for dates!
I mean why not? There’s everything here. You can get a soft pretzel, boba tea, new shoes, and dodge around preteens at every turn, all without going back outside the comfort of slightly stale central air conditioning.
Haha, okay okay. It’s a little dorky. But it’ll be fun. Come on, hold my hand and buy me things I don’t need from Hot Topic, babe.
Really? I mean, that’s fair. I think I’ve been in Hot Topic like…once. And that was somewhere around…2007. Do you think they still sell anime t-shirts and like…those edgy little decorations that were shaped like boobs or dicks?
I swear to god, I am not making that up. It was scandalous to go into Hot Topic because you’d probably see a cartoon penis.
Ohhh, you’re right! That was Spencer’s! Yeah I guess they were both a little too edgy for highschool me. [lowers voice] I was a good girl then.
I don’t know, have you done anything to deserve me being good, huh? Hah, yeahhhhh, you are pretty alright, I guess.
[giggling and more mall chatter ambience]
Ooh, yeah, it smells amazing. I think it’s the Great Cookie upstairs? Or…does the Great Cookie exist anymore? It occurs to me now that I’m walking through this mall that I don’t think I’ve been here in literally 15 years so my mall intel might be severely out of date.
Well, where did you want to go? Start at this end and just go through the whole first floor?
…Well what did you have in mind?
Okay, I accept. But just know that I am gonna kick your ass. I can think of like five different stores that are already competing for the title of “freakiest merchandise,” so finding the weirdest purchase in this mall will be child’s play, babe.
Okay, okay. I still think I’m going to kick your ass, but it’s a deal. You pick the store I have to buy something from, and I pick your store. Winner gets…hmm, let’s let the winner decide for the extra stakes. Shake on it?
[a quick kissing noise from boyfriend]
Hah, you and your kisses won’t distract me. You’re looking at a woman who has never backed down from a challenge in her life. So do you want to go straight to our respective challenge stores or just make it a surprise?
Sounds good to me. We’ll delay your inevitable demise.
[walking along, mall ambience]
Awww, I loved this store when I was in high school and college!
Yeah, it’s like a slightly more expensive boutique, you know, jewelry, bags, scarves, etcetera. It looks like they have a few more dresses and things than they used to.
Nah, I don’t think it’s really my style anymore, I was preppier back then. But it’s a nice nostalgia moment.
What about you? I think they have a Games Workshop and there’s another little local DND and comics store just a few stores down.
Yeah, I think it’d be cool to check out! Do you have any physical dice? I know you pretty much always play online so…
Aww, that’s so cute! Do your siblings still have their sets too?
I love that. We mostly played board games, and usually only when we went over to my one cousin’s house.
No, I’ve never played it but everyone talks about how fun Catan is. We played like 90’s and oughts popular games. You know, Monopoly, Scattergories, Pictionary. Ooh, I loved Cranium, I destroyed at that game.
No, I don’t know what you mean. I am a perfectly well-adjusted and not at all overly competitive individual, thank you.
But yeah, I also wanted to try…the Hill House one?
Yes! Betrayal at the House on the Hill! That one! Everyone in my Friday DND group tells me it’s so fun and I’ve never had anyone in person to play it with.
Really? Yesssss! Okay come on it’s right here.
[distant greeting from an employee]
Hi! I’m great, how are you? We’re just looking right now, thanks!
Okay so the board games are over there—Ooh, look at those dice! Are those glass? They’re so pretty! And look, babe, they match this set. Oh and wait, look at these dice trays!
[sound of footsteps moving away]
[slightly more distant, talking to an employee] Yeah! I play on Roll20 and Foundry online, I’ve never had any physical dice…
[sound of your own footsteps, picking up a board game or two and pieces shift in the boxes]
[getting closer as she speaks] Hey babe, so those dice trays are made by a local guy—I got a business card for his Etsy too—and they’re two for $45–
[pause]
Haha, wait how did you have time to grab all of this stuff—Oh my god is that a Yuumi plushie?! She’s so cute, oh my god!
Aww, babe. You really were gonna hold my hand and buy me things. Okay, wait, new plan for this store. I saw things I wanted to get you, too, so let’s split up and then meet at the front of the store after we pay?
[peck on the cheek sound]
Okay, see you soon!
[more footsteps and shopping sounds, eventual beeping of the card reader as you pay]
[the crinkle of a plastic bags]
Hah, I’m smiling because I’m excited to show you what I got you! Come on, there’s a free bench over there.
Okay, so, I remember how much you said you liked this anime as a kid, and they had a section for model building so…Ta da!
Yeah! I remembered you loved the one that could change its armor and then as soon as I saw the blue version and the orange one I was like, yep, Liger Zero Schneider, that’s the one.
It was on sale!
…Like 15% off? Come on, you love it though, right?
See!
Yeah, and I love that. I’m so excited to play Betrayal at the House on the Hill and Catan. And that Yuumi plushie is going right on my desk.
Yeah? …Okay! But let me show you what I got us both first!
Here, this one’s for you, and this one’s mine! Aren’t they awesome? The guy does his own woodworking and staining and then his wife designs the fabric for the trays!
Haha yeah! See look, I got the one with the lilacs and daffodils and roses, and you’re the suns with the fun sunglasses!
Of course you’re the sunshine! You’re my sunshine.
Nope, you are.
We’re not arguing about this in public, we’re too disgusting, I refuse. This one is yours. And I got you these dice!
Look they have little quotes from famous literature all pasted on the inside.
Yeah, of course you do, it’s cause you’re such a nerd, babe.
[peck on the cheek]
You’re right, I do love it.
[dice clacking together]
Wait, aww! They’re so cute! The orange ones look like Amber, oh my god! I didn’t even see these cat dice!
Hah, sneaky sneaky. But yeah, that makes sense, I did see you go talk to the guy at the dice counter like instantly.
And then—
…What? It’s just one more thing, I promise! And it’s small!
See, look! It spins! And you can keep it on your keys, so anytime you need to make a choice and can’t decide, you can spin it and the d20 can decide for you.
Hah, yes, I do love you anyway, but the times when neither of us can come to a decision point make me want to cry sometimes.
Haha, love you!
…Okay? Why?
Wait, I didn’t know we were doing the bet yet. I thought I was supposed to pick your store.
Okay, okay. I’ll close my eyes, fine!
I’m scared, why is this box so heavy?
[horrified pause]…Oh my god—
Stop laughing! Oh my god, you did not—!
Why am I trying to hide it? [lowered voice] Maybe because I don’t want everyone in the entire mall to know I’m an anime degenerate, okay?
No, you did not win!
Yes, I am horrified because you probably just spent $400 on a statue of Sebastian from Black Butler, and no, the ridiculousness of the situation is not lost on me.
I mean, no, I don’t think I could buy you something worse than this.
…I don’t think it’s any of your business where exactly I am going to display this stupidly detailed figure of my anime husband in my room, okay? That’s private.
No you didn’t win.
No—
[a sigh] Okay, fine. I cannot think of something that would horrify you more than this purchase horrifies me.
No, I’m not going to say it.
Because you cheated. You used deeply held, embarrassing anime knowledge against me. Humph!
[peck on the cheek sound] I said it before and I’ll say it again, you will not distract me with your kisses.
Oh? And just what is my punishment for losing exactly?
[annoyed sound] You will use any excuse to allow yourself to buy me fancy clothes and things I don’t need, won’t you?
You’re ridiculous. [peck on the lips] Thank you, you don’t have to.
Hah! Okay, fair. So where exactly are you taking me to buy said clothes you want to [lowers voice flirtatiously] take back off of me?
Oh geez, babe. Nordstrom’s is so overpriced!
No, you didn’t win, you cheated! I am holding hands and following you under protest! I am gonna file an appeal with the Silly Couple Amateur Bets Commission.
Wait, hold on. Please don’t spend too much?
No.
No!
$200.
No way! $250.
I am being reasonable, you’re the one saying you want to buy me $5000 worth of clothes for no reason!
Yeah, a date to the mall. We’re supposed to go split a lemonade and a soft pretzel from Auntie Anne’s, not spend a down payment on a car.
[sigh] $1000.
[mock threatening] Fine. And if you spend a cent more—
[hushed, slightly embarrassed tone at saying this in public but still trying to be threatening] I won’t go down on you for a month!
[indignant] Yes I could!
[deadpan] I hate you.
Thank you. $1000 is already an insane amount to be spending.
Oh?
Okay, okay. I can get behind that. But I do get to veto clothes I really don’t think I will look good in.
Yeah, okay. Laying it on a little thick aren’t you, buddy?
Yeah, well, you’re handsome.
Okay, so the women’s clothes are on the next floor up I think.
[escalator noises]
Yeah, I got my prom dress at a Nordstrom’s, I went with a couple of my friends.
This might shock you, knowing what you know about me, but it was…green.
I know! I’m predictable. What can I say? Nature-loving bitch right here.
[stifled laughter] And I’m sure you looked stupidly handsome even in your pale blue suit.
Okay, so, where do we start…?
Hah, fine. But remember your limit.
Ooh, this is cute! And the blue lace would match that one tie I got you last year.
Yeah, it brings out the hazel flecks in your eyes.
Okay, wow. Yeah that is—Babe, that dress is $400!
Fine, fine, but I’m tallying! I’ve got my phone out, calculator right here!
But fine, what else did you want me to try on?
…To be honest, I’m sort of surprised you didn’t start at the lingerie and bathing suit section.
Ooh, look at that one! Do you think I’ll look dumb with all the straps? I’m just hoping it’ll make my boobs look good.
Yeah, of course you would say that, you’re down bad.
Haha, of course. [whisper] I’m down bad for you too.
[clicking of hangers against each other on the racks]
Hmm. What do you think about—
…Babe. That bikini is practically microscopic. I don’t think I can even try that on in the store.
Okay, okay, I’ll give it a shot.
Anything else you want to throw on the clothing pile?
You do realize that every new thing you add is probably another 5 minutes in the dressing room right?
Alright, alright. They have a five item limit so I guess you’re waiting your butt out here with the rest of it.
Yes, it is a cute butt. I’ll be back soon.
Yessss, I know. I will show you everything that fits.
[quiet department store chatter]
[squeak of a dressing room door and a hushed stage whisper] Babe, I cannot walk out there and show you this bathing suit.
[still a stage whisper] Because it’s tiny! Basically all you can see is my underwear.
Then come in here!
[the sound of the dressing room door creaking again] Tada?
Hah, okay, calm down. Sure, my boobs look great but—
[shutting and locking the door as footsteps approach]
[whisper] Shh!
Because you’re not allowed to be in the women’s dressing room.
[the sound of clicking hangers on a rack, footsteps coming closer, more clinking…and the footsteps walk away]
[quiet bursts of laughter for a long time] Okay, okay. That was close.
Oh?
Hah, yeah, considering I’m not letting you leave until I’ve finished changing and can be your lookout, I guess you really did win the bet. [flirty whisper] Enjoy your front row seat, babe.
[kissing sounds as the mall ambience outside fades out]

Or be honest and just tell me to give up.
Complicated situation, and I've been feeling like I'm drowning for years. I have a 12 year old son, who is wonderful but does have many mental health issues. He's witnessed a lot of trauma in his life, including domestic violence and losing his father to suicide. He can sometimes be full of rage and physically aggressive towards me. He's in multiple therapies/programs and we are actively working on it.
We live with my Dad (81). He needs help with cooking and technology and random things. I lost my Mom when I was 26. and promised her I would look after him. I don't know if he actually means harm, but he can be quite narcissistic and very controlling. Living here, I feel like I don't have my own life, I'm just living life according to my Dad. He needs to know where I am, what a buy, how much it cost etc.
Me (35) I've faced mental health struggles in my life which we're at their worst 8 years ago, which is when we moved back in with my Dad. I've been actively working on it. Went back to school, got a job in my field, left old habits behind. I've suffered from depression, anxiety, CPTSD, getting evaluated for ADHD next month.
Living with my Dad is miserable, I'm so tired of being controlled and treated like a child at 35 years old. The house itself kind of sucks too. It's in disrepair, no renovations since the 50s. My Dad is a bit of a hoarder, so the house is full of junk and clutter, and he loves to bring new stuff home. We have had mice and pantry moths for years. Last week I discovered that my Dad has had bedbugs in his room for 8 weeks, but didn't feel the need to tell me. I offered to pay for proper treatment, but that would mean clearing out some of the clutter, so he's very against it.
I really want to move. I live in a really HCOL area, but I've saved up about a years worth of rent, and I'm pretty confident if I'm careful and work really hard I could make it work. My boss has confidence I could make it work too. There's an apartment I could probably get coming available for August 1st.
A therapist/social worker that my son and I decided from some of the things we've told her that my Dad is abusive in some ways, and has offered a spot in a women and children's shelter, that would then help us find permanent subsidized housing.
I told my Dad that if he wasn't willing to work with me on the bed bugs and clutter, that my son and I would just have to start looking for an apartment. At first he said fine, I don't need you. But now he's trying to convince me that I can't do it on my own and I'll just fail like I did 8 years ago.
I also feel so terrible leaving him here all on his own, but I really think that he thinks that I'll just live here under his thumb forever. Life as it is right now has absolutely no joy.
So, Bromos, what should I do? What would you do? I'm terrified of it all, but I really think I might need a change to make life feel like it's worth living again.

I had a travel credit of $1160 that was set to expire March 2, 2024 so in February I booked three tix (for my husband, son and me) to PHX for January 2025. In May, I got a message from Jetblue saying that the schedule had changed and because of that I could change for free or cancel and they would extend my travel credit for two weeks to allow me to rebook. So, I took the latter and rebooked for another destination. The fare was much higher and so I ended up booking only two tickets (for my son and me) and even had to pay $280 on top of my travel credit for a total of $1440. I purchased a separate ticket for my husband. Today, I noticed that the fare had gone down significantly and so I changed the tickets to get the lower fare (-$440 for the two tix) for my son and me. I assumed I would get $280 back in the travel bank and would lose the rest because the credit had expired. However, Jetblue’s automated system only refunded $115 back to my travel bank. When I asked why not the full $280, they said the tickets were charged separately and because one had been paid for entirely by my travel bank, that amount was lost. Since I was only eligible for a refund of $220 for my second ticket, that’s how much I could get back (not the $280). However, the automated system refunded only $115 to my travel bank and the other $105 as expired credit. Eventually, they were able to correct it and deposit $220 to my travel bank. But I am annoyed it’s not the full $280 (and that I am out $260 in total given the expired credit), While I understand their explanation, it’s not like I get to decide how the payments are distributed. Anyway, not sure what recourse I have, but I am feeling frustrated and needed to vent!
Edited for spelling

How do you make space for disagreement in friendships? I very rarely form bonds with anyone. I’m too passive. When I do, usually due to the other persons labour, I get very attached until I come across that persons differing mindset or values that I perceive as problematic or opposing to my own and then I fold inward and I feel like any closeness is lost and I want to just ghost. I did used to just ghost when I would get to that point previously and I have been trying to instead be a little more curious and open (and use the Socratic method) to explore their beliefs and gently share my own as well. This happened recently with the only person I really connect with, they started opening up about how they believe feminism has gone too far and wanting to share what sounded like redpill YouTube links with me (that I tried and find too distressing watch). I’ve been friends with this person for four years now and it’s their son that feels persecuted for being a male and my friend has absorbed and taken on her son’s mindset. I don’t want to lose my friendship and I want boundaries about this topic. I don’t want to hear her vent about it and compare isolated incidents are conflated with across the board inequality. I am feeling rejected and really sad and I am having nightmares again. I tried offing compassion to her son and how he is feeling and she snapped at me that she wants me angry at the lesbian females ruining gaming spaces, universities and star wars. She was comparing them to the people that abused me and I felt betrayed because in my situation their was no consent, but in putting oneself in an online space as an adult, or attending a movie or not is something I can choose to consent to. I don’t know if I am making sense at all. How do you navigate more complex communication and not fall back into the flashback reactions from childhood (mine are mainly freezing and folding in which I lose my voice and then just disappear from the relationship).

Sooo,
I have been doing a little reading about things that can or will happen during this process. And some of them, I don't know if I will accept very easily. haha
My fear, wrinkles and sagging skin and hair loss.
So, My new prevention product in the works.... I have already been taking a lot of vitamins and continue to hope that this will prevent the hair loss. I started taking them before I started GLP1s.
But lately, the fear of bagging, sagging skin is bothering me. So i am creating, like a chemist with no experience, a lotion and serum. Slowly, i am buying the stuff I want to put in it and then the lab work will begin!
I have been reading a lot about skin care products, peptides etc.
I don't want another injectable, at least not right now. I also don't want to spend 100s of dollars for minute amounts of serums and lotions. My hair will do a bottle of these serums in no time because it is so thick.
Ironically, I lost my sense of smell so my son will have to tell me if I repel anyone when its done. haha

I am a U.S. permanent resident preparing to initiate the follow-to-join process to bring my wife and son to the United States. Based on what I’ve read in this subreddit, it seems many people have had terrible experiences once their I-824 was approved. Issues range from USCIS not forwarding the approval to the NVC, to the NVC not responding for years, leading to fears that the application is lost.
I would like to hear from those who have completed the process about what to expect in terms of timeline and any recommendations to avoid processing delays.
Greatly appreciated. Thank you!

My son has the Tyranid Swarm commander deck that he has upgraded with lots of X spells that he then copies with his commander ability. He quickly gets duplicates of big creatures with lots of counters. I have the LOTR Elven Council deck that I have upgraded by following this guide (I got every card under $30): https://edhrec.com/articles/elven-council-precon-upgrade-guide/
He still crushes me every time. Today I lost in 6 turns. I need to show him who’s boss!
I do not think that my elf deck can be fixed. I think I need a new deck with a mechanic focused specifically on beating Tyranid Swarm. I need advice. I need to beat this punk 😃

My son got diagnosed at 15, and I got diagnosed at age 47 after he did. After some reading I’m pretty classically the girl who got lost, because I had a high IQ and wanted to please everyone so I masked a lot. I had very high sensitivity, both emotionally and to sensory stuff. I forgot things all the time. Couldn’t navigate, procrastinated on projects til the last minute, and just generally suffered from low self esteem because I always felt like I was fucking up. For the last two years I’ve been assuming that it’s just me and my son, but I know this is genetic.
My daughter (16) has had a ton of mental health issues this year, and has been diagnosed with OCD and social anxiety, but I’m honestly wondering if we missed ADHD in her. She’s rejection sensitive, her room gets to be a huge mess if she doesn’t hyper focus and clean it for hours, she gets easily overwhelmed, and doesn’t seem “able to do hard things” a lot of times. She cannot motivate to go to school a lot, and can’t motivate to help with the dishes. She’s probably addicted to video games. Oh and she has misophonia and struggles to process quickly, especially when there are several people talking at once. Do I need to get this girl tested? It’s so expensive (out of pocket) but I’d hate to miss this in her too.

I'm about 7.5 months pp. As my other posts show, my son was born early and had enough issues transferring milk that I ended up pretty much exclusively pumping for about 6 months. Pumping wore on me and I decided to stop after 6 months. I was convinced, though, to try nursing again, since LO never stopped be willing to latch. That's what I've done for the past 1.5 months or so. It's been better than pumping, for sure, and I'm proud of my LO for trying. He has gained weight during this time, but slowly, and not without the help of high-calorie/fat solid foods (which he is loving more and more every day). It's been stressful seeing him not gain well, which has been making some mealtimes where he doesn't eat as well more tense. I really want to just relax about his food consumption, let him enjoy solids, etc.
I was going to start weaning to formula in the middle of June (when he turned 8 months old). But after disappointing scale measurements over the weekend, I decided that today was going to be the last day of nursing. Drying up starts tomorrow. It’s not that far off from my goal (and still better than my original goal of 6 months), but I’m already feeling emotional about it, and I’m sure the weaning hormone chaos hasn’t even begun yet. Pumping/nursing has consumed so much of my conscious and subconscious mental space and energy for so long that I don’t really know how non-lactating people live anymore! No more pushing water (I’m not naturally a very thirsty person), thinking about whether a meal will lend itself to milk production, timing activities based on how long it’s been since I nursed/pumped, remembering which breast was used last, etc. All those things are rather small and silly, but I hadn’t noticed how much they add up. Now I feel sort of aimless, like I’ve lost my purpose in life. Logically, of course, I know this is a tiny blip in my life as a parent, plus LO will be happy on formula, but I’m still feeling these things and a sense of loss tonight. Can anyone relate?

I had a company come out and clean out my main line and send a camera down it. There were some obvious issues and we were quoted for a liner repair.
The company called me today saying my city requires a bond payment of $5,000 in case the city line is messed up during repair. The company said that I’ll get the payment back in a few months. Yikes!
No work has been done or money exchanged at this point. I did sign a contract. But I’m sitting here thinking, shouldn’t the company be setting up the bond since they’ll be doing the work? If they screw up the job won’t my money be lost?
I plan on calling in the morning to get clarification. Anyone else have this experience?

Unfortunately due to a really nasty divorce, I won’t be able to give him much. I make around 100k but have quite a bit of my own debt now. I feel like a terrible mom. My ex is so awful and I suspect he made less than me, but won’t likely fill out the FAFSA. We live in Wisconsin and my son will be a senior in HS this coming year. How can I help him get through school with the least amount of debt? What loans should we look into? I will definitely co-sign… I’m just lost as to how this all works. He is a good student (3.6 GPA) with a 25 ACT score. We will of course look for scholarships but I don’t even know where to start. I’ve tried so hard to give him a good life.

I am sad. Confused. Emotional. Lost. My sweet firstborn son will be hitting 7 months old already this week Thursday, & I have been exclusively pumping since the day he was born. The NICU robbed us of our initial breastfeeding bond opportunity, which I’ve since coped with that piece, however now I find myself almost obsessing over still being able to provide him with pumped breast milk to the point of being unhealthy where I’m attempting to wean & just cannot bring myself to fully commit.
I’m down to 2PPD, roughly 25-30mins at a time from originally doing 4PPD rather consistently but for long periods of time as that’s how I found I made the most milk & tolerated pump sessions (my nipples are sooo ready to be done, my supply recently dipped in my champion boob roughly 2 weeks ago after I had 2 nasty clogs at the same time, UGH). So cutting back to that within itself is a huge milestone for me, but as I approach the idea of fully committing to stopping, I just want to cry.
How can I be this emotionally attached to something, a literal chore-like task I dread each & every time, yet cannot bring myself to fathoming just stopping? I have tried viewing the positives, including having no issue really with using formula to supplement here & there to get a decent freezer stash, but the concept of having no more fresh breast milk to feed him or freeze? Breaks my heart. I truly thought I was ready for this journey to end, but I find myself doubting myself being ready every time I hook up to the pump.
I know deep down, it’s time. I want to enjoy summer, let alone my baby while he’s still a baby. But damnit, this shit is so hard. I’m SO proud of being able to do this not just for my baby, but for me, my second “full time job” if you want to call it that. Not to mention my postpartum weight loss! But this routine has taken its toll, & I know I need to stop. Any feedback, words of encouragement, or similar experiences would be welcomed at this point because I just feel like no one around me truly gets it & thinks it should just be easy. Asking for a momma friend.

For about half of 2022, I lived at my grandparents' house. I liked it there; I had family and cousins to rely on. But I was starving—the food they cooked was so bad that I would always order from outside. Eventually, I dreamt of my mom's food, and this led me back to living with her. At first, it was just for a couple of days, but the next time I came, I decided not to go back.
My mother was very cold towards me at first. Sometimes, I would visit her when I was living at my grandparents' home, but she would always start an argument with them, saying how my dad was using me and doing black magic on my soul. Now, my father told me they were crazy people, but eventually, I figured out that some of the things my mom said were true.
My uncle, God rest his soul, died in 2022. My mother had claimed that he was being blackmailed and verbally abused by his wife and her sisters, or as my mother called them, witches. I asked her for proof and found out that what she said was true—my dad's family were verbally abusing him terribly. This convinced me that my father was a blatant liar and that my mother was right.
I'm not gonna lie—living with her was good; I loved it. But when September came, oh my God, the amount of stress. My mother took me to the US embassy for American flight tickets back to America. The embassy told her if she went back with the embassy paying for it, she would owe the government $2,000, which she didn't have. At the same time, my father had arrived in Pakistan, and he wanted to take me to the US embassy.
I was stuck in a shithole. I tried to explain to my mother that maybe I could go with my dad and she wouldn't have to worry about the money she would owe to the government. But all she said was, "If you want to live with your father, fine, but never talk to me again. You're dead to me if you do."
Anyway, after I told my father I couldn't go, he said I was a coward and needed to grow a spine. He said people my age were getting married and having kids (keep in mind I was 15 when he said this). He told me, "Son, I don't know how you're going to do in life if you're this soft." He left again, and I didn't speak with him much after that.
Now, his next visit is in 2024.He was coming back to get married to his new wife. At this time, I was extremely homesick and desperately wanted to go back. My father promised to take me with him, but he also threatened me, saying, "I want you to know something. If you try and fuck me over like your mother, I'll throw you on the streets. I don't give a damn what happens to you after." He gave me multiple threats, but nothing hurt me more than him saying that he was only coming back to get married, not for me, as if I wasn't his top priority.
I really loved and admired him. He grew up in a village in Okara, Pakistan, and worked his way up to get to America. He would say he did all this so I wouldn't grow up the way he did. But now I think that was just a mask he wore, and at that moment, when I was talking with him, he finally let it slip. Then I started to think: when was the last time my dad sent money for child support? I figured out he wasn't paying child support until 2023 when my mother threatened him with legal action.
And before you think my mother is a darling angel, she was extremely abusive to me. In 2023, when I went to get my Pakistani ID card, it turned out my father had already made one and kept it in the USA. My mother's eyes looked at me like she wanted to kill me right then and there. When we got back to the house, she yelled at me for five hours, with her sister glaring at me and her friend—let's call him Bob—saying that I was purposely keeping my mother in Pakistan and that I was a spy working for my dad. She broke my heart that day, but I forgave her like I always do. It's expected in Pakistani culture. I don't really know how to start this, but I'm a 16-year-old male. In 2022, when I was 14, my mother and I went to Pakistan during the summer. During this time, I went to live at my grandfather's house after I had an argument with my mother. I actually didn't want to go back to Pakistan since, during COVID, I had already spent a year there and had just gotten back to the States. It takes time to adjust, but she wouldn't listen. She was extremely aggressive about going to Pakistan—not physically, but mentally.
Anyway, I thought if I went to my grandfather's house, I'd easily go back to America pronto. However, when my father came to pick me up, my mother had stolen my passport and hidden it. She refused to give it back under terms my father would agree upon. My father wouldn't even listen to these terms and left Pakistan, abandoning me.
For about half of 2022, I lived at my grandparents' house. I liked it there; I had family and cousins to rely on. But I was starving—the food they cooked was so bad that I would always order from outside. Eventually, I dreamt of my mom's food, and this led me back to living with her. At first, it was just for a couple of days, but the next time I came, I decided not to go back.
My mother was very cold towards me at first. Sometimes, I would visit her when I was living at my grandparents' home, but she would always start an argument with them, saying how my dad was using me and doing black magic on my soul. Now, my father told me they were crazy people, but eventually, I figured out that some of the things my mom said were true.
My uncle, God rest his soul, died in 2022. My mother had claimed that he was being blackmailed and verbally abused by his wife and her sisters, or as my mother called them, witches. I asked her for proof and found out that what she said was true—my dad's family were verbally abusing him terribly. This convinced me that my father was a blatant liar and that my mother was right.
I'm not gonna lie—living with her was good; I loved it. But when September came, oh my God, the amount of stress. My mother took me to the US embassy for American flight tickets back to America. The embassy told her if she went back with the embassy paying for it, she would owe the government $2,000, which she didn't have. At the same time, my father had arrived in Pakistan, and he wanted to take me to the US embassy.
I was stuck in a shithole. I tried to explain to my mother that maybe I could go with my dad and she wouldn't have to worry about the money she would owe to the government. But all she said was, "If you want to live with your father, fine, but never talk to me again. You're dead to me if you do."
Anyway, after I told my father I couldn't go, he said I was a coward and needed to grow a spine. He said people my age were getting married and having kids (keep in mind I was 15 when he said this). He told me, "Son, I don't know how you're going to do in life if you're this soft." He left again, and I didn't speak with him much after that.
Now, his next visit is in 2024.He was coming back to get married to his new wife. At this time, I was extremely homesick and desperately wanted to go back. My father promised to take me with him, but he also threatened me, saying, "I want you to know something. If you try and fuck me over like your mother, I'll throw you on the streets. I don't give a damn what happens to you after." He gave me multiple threats, but nothing hurt me more than him saying that he was only coming back to get married, not for me, as if I wasn't his top priority.
I really loved and admired him. He grew up in a village in Okara, Pakistan, and worked his way up to get to America. He would say he did all this so I wouldn't grow up the way he did. But now I think that was just a mask he wore, and at that moment, when I was talking with him, he finally let it slip. Then I started to think: when was the last time my dad sent money for child support? I figured out he wasn't paying child support until 2023 when my mother threatened him with legal action.
And before you think my mother is a darling angel, she was extremely abusive to me. In 2023, when I went to get my Pakistani ID card, it turned out my father had already made one and kept it in the USA. My mother's eyes looked at me like she wanted to kill me right then and there. When we got back to the house, she yelled at me for five hours, with her sister glaring at me and her friend—let's call him Bob—saying that I was purposely keeping my mother in Pakistan and that I was a spy working for my dad. She broke my heart that day, but I forgave her like I always do. It's expected in Pakistani culture.
When my mom found out that my dad was getting married, she told me I could no longer meet my cousins. Keep in mind, they were the only people I had to be social with. I can barely speak Urdu, and it doesn't help that I have white skin and dark blonde hair. My mother cut me off from the only social life I had.
When my dad found out I couldn't go to his grandparents' house, he basically said, "Are you ever gonna fight back? You just sit there and do nothing." I then entered a hikikomori state. I would barely leave my room. I would just play video games, jerk off, and watch TV. I lost two years of my high school life because of them stuck in a foreign country not knowing my language.
Now, at the end of June, my darling father wants me to return to the US. But how can I trust him? How can I trust any of them? They all used me. I know it. I can't fight back because they are protected by Pakistani culture. Talking back to my parents is frowned upon. Even the slightest rebellion I would show, they would all say, "What, you think this is America? You obey our rules."
I don't know what to do. I know the only reason my dad wants me back is so he can save face since my mother filed a case against him. I'm lost and stuck in a loop. I'm afraid of women now; I think they're all the same and can't even look one in the eye because of my mother.

So one of the most disappointing parts of the otherwise amazing book that is Curse of Strahd was Fiona Watcher and her cult. What started as an intimidating minor villain lesser BBEG that seemed to be pulling a lot of strings for Strahd, quickly turned into a shallow side show con artist with so much lost potential. In the book there are blink-and-you-miss-it implications of her being a much bigger threat that goes absolutely nowhere, and kinda ruins the suspense and weight of her threat and the triumph of defeating her for me. So I’ve rewritten and expanded upon her and her cult’s lore and part of the story. A lot of this is non-cannon and completely homebrewed so it may not be for everyone but I hope you enjoy it!

The Ancient Left Hand of the Devil

In the book there’s letters that can be found in Wachter Manor that implies, that due to the reincarnation nature of the people of Barovia, that Lady Fiona Wachter has served Strahd for centuries as different Lady Wachters, though this is never built upon or used. So to start this off, let’s make that a core part of her character.
All the way back in the first few years following the night Strahd completed his deal to become a Vampire Lord and Tatyana threw herself from the Castle Walls, in the town of Vallaki was the eldest daughter of a noble house, Lady Lovina Wachter. Her well connected noble family was secretly the heads of a cult of warlock worshipers and servants of Asmodeus, but with their connection to their master severely weakened, her family was in a state of panic and terror desperately trying to make sense of the changes to the valley. They had found no one but the Vistani could enter the mists safely, let alone leave the valley to travel to other lands. More confusing still, any children born since the mists’ arrival were either soulless and emotionless husks that were quickly being referred to a Misttouched, or had uncanny resemblances in looks and personality to previously dead Barovians with some children even claiming to have memories of what appeared to be a past life. It was a time of chaos and unrest. All had many unanswered questions and few had any answers.
The one blind spot in the sight of her family’s cult was Castle Ravenloft. Since the night the mists came, no one had left the castle that seemed devoid of life. None were brave enough to approach the castle and most believed it to be cursed or overtaken by monsters. Unfrightened by such rumors and fears, and desperate for understanding of what had happened, Lovina slipped away to the castle to investigate for herself.
Inside she found the halls still and empty, as if all life had vanished and the castle was left abandoned. That was until she found him, Lord Strahd Von Zarovich. He was in a depressed stupor huddled in the undercroft of the castle, wallowing in his guilt and self pity. She asked cautiously what had happened and why no one had seen him or anyone else from the castle. He explained everything, how it was all because of him, that he performed a dark ritual with the blood of his brother and made himself into an immortal monster that caused the land to be shrouded in mist. He had expected her to be frightened or outraged, enough to end him or find someone who would, to bring an end to his suffering once and for all. However, being a devil worshiper, not only was Lady Wachter not frightened or disgusted, she was amazed and inspired.
She saw him as not a monster, but a demigod made flesh! A true master of fate and the world. She reframed all the events of the night of tragedy Strahd spoke of as not a fall from grace, but as Strahd’s first steps onto rising to it. She spoke highly of his accomplishments and even described how his influence has changed the very land he rules between the mists and the reincarnation through Barovian children. All of it nearly fell of deaf ears who wanted little more than this annoyance to leave him to rot in peace until she described the reincarnation. Upon hearing that, he was gifted with a piece of hope that he may see Tatyana again after all. With a new fire ignited within Strahd, he found purpose and a cause to strive for.
As thanks to Lovina, Strahd took her under his wing as his new left hand in his court. He helped her remove her parents and siblings as both heads of her family and their cult and threats to her claim over them, and set her to work searching for his beloved with her new influence. He would teach her some magic and together they experimented with the mists and Strahd’s control of it. They discovered that he had the ability to, with proper concentration, restore the memory of those who had reincarnated, but also, with proper preparation and permission from the soul in question, draw a soul from the mists and implant them into the body of another person. While it didn’t work on Tatyana's soul that still feared and hated Strahd, it did allow Strahd to restore Lovina and other mortal servants to life with all the memories of their previous life. They would use this to ensure Lovina’s enduring servitude as his eternal mortal servant capable of carrying out Strahd’s will in ways his undead servants couldn’t.
After Lavonia withered from age, Strahd used his control of willing souls to restore her in a new body, usually a mist touched(or soulless) young adult girl. Since then and with Wachter's help in providing a host body for her soul, he has repeatedly restored her whenever she died, allowing her to continue her twisted form of immortality and faithfully serve Strahd. She always takes on the first name of her new host body to avoid being noticed over the centuries by those not trusted part of her cult or Strahd's court. Regardless of the first name it is always Lady Wachter, the eternal left hand of her lord. Over the many years and many lifetimes Lady Wachter has learned many skills and magics making her an Archmage in her own right with high Charisma and proficiency in all forms of speechcraft.

The Crimson Order

In the book Wachter’s cult is little more than Wachter duping a bunch of easily manipulated idiots with a literal smoke and mirror show before her imp sprinkles a few coins at their feet, making them think it’s somehow a blessing from a devil overlord. It’s not even that big of a faction having only existed for a few years and Fiona’s latest of a series of wacky schemes to take over Vallaki. Making all this little more than Scooby Doo villain shenanigans. The cult doesn’t even have a name, only referred to as Wachter’s cult. So I’ve rectified this.
What was once a devil worshiping cult of Asmodeus, was reformed into the cult that worships their immortal vampire lord Strahd. Viewing him as a more perfect being and his spawn as a proto form of that perfect form that is a blessing from their master. Lady Wachter, their leader, uses her twisted form of immortality through the sacrifice of mist-touched girls as host of her soul as a manipulation tool, promising her followers eternal life like her or through their lord’s blessing as the ultimate goal through their dedication and sacrifice. In reverence of the vampires they worship, the cult symbolize their dedication through blood symbology by calling their group The Crimson Order and dying their robes blood red. Those who have magic granted to them by Lady Wachter also show this through learning to manipulate blood through their magic including the summoning/creation of blood elementals(older edition monsters converted to 5e by the YouTuber Dungeon Dad) to aid them in battle and to protect important locations.
Finally the cult members while in uniform wear a mask, black ones made to resemble the face of a skull, the masks help provide anonymity, but their real purpose is the enchantment on the inside of the masks. Each is hand made by Lady Wachter and enchanted to cast either Finger of Death on the wearer when a command phrase is used or Animate Dead when the wearer is killed in combat. This ensures that the Crimson Order members can continue to frustrate and fight their enemies after death, and that they do not run the risk of being captured and tortured for information, or their corpses being post mortem interrogated as Speak with Dead has no effect on undead creatures. Each Crimson Order member is convinced that using the mask when needed will guarantee favor with Lord Strahd and earn them immortality and will gladly use the mask to end themselves should it become necessary. Some members will even wear the mask under their shirt or dress when not in their cult robes to ensure they are not caught off guard and are prepared.
The Cult’s reach extends to all the settlements of Barovia, including at least one representative that stays with The Yester Hill tribe. They constantly are keeping an ear out for any threats to Strahd and Lady Wachter as well as taking on special missions and tasks from them. Crimson Order cultists or their remains should be found in most places in Barovia to demonstrate their reach including the Amber Temple, Castle Ravenloft, encounters on the roads, maybe even some hunting for the Mad Mage.

Toy Spies

One of Wachter’s primary missions above all is to find Tatyana in whatever reincarnation she has taken. She and her cult have successfully found her a few times but they were hard-pressed to do so. Only two portraits of Tatyana exist, one at Castle Ravenloft and one at the Abbey of St Markovia so Wachter’s agents usually only had a loose description to go on. She used to make leaflets with pictures of her likeness but the color ink was expensive and the leaflets easy to lose by her agents. Recently, however, when Wachter visited the local toy shop to find a perfect wooden replica of Tatyana she was inspired.
She commissioned Blinksy the Toy Maker to make hundreds for her that she would take to her cultists. Together they would enchant them, making them into carrionettes. These Toy Tatyana dolls would be distributed by Wachter and the Crimson Order to as many families as they could, even sending some dolls to find families themselves. With the Toy Tatyanas they had not only something easily scryed upon in most households and spies who could easily slip away in the dead of night to report to when recalled by Crimson Order Agents, but they also acted as a tool to more easily find Tatyana. With a 3D replica of her physical characteristics that both Crimson Order agents could use to compare, but also let the public passively aid their cause since all it would take is one parent, one childhood friend, one neighbor say “that doll looks just like her'' and Wachter and her agents would easily be able to locate her.
Toy Tatyanas should be found in most households even if they don't have children found either in a hidden location in bedrooms and living rooms or hiding among toys or other household items where they are most likely to hear anything important. Should they be found they will remain limp and avoid detection as anything but a toy until attacked or a spell or other magic reveals them, at which point they will try to flee and escape, or use their soul swap ability to take over a creature to use their body to fight back or run away with their toy body in hand.

The Propaganda Machine

To serve both her own end and to support her master, Wachter in her early years learned to put her skills in calligraphy and spell casting to use casting Fabricate to essentially act as a living arcane printing press. There is now a book store in Vallaki owned and run by Wachter and The Crimson Order that both generate coin for the cult's purposes without need of begging Strahd, and distributes propaganda full of lies, misinformation, twisted facts, half truths to gaslight and manipulate the population of Barovia. As one of the only sources of books and escapism in Barovia, Wachter's Book Emporium is a very popular and successful business. Few question the authenticity of the information in many of the books and those that do often are visited late at night by blood-robed cultists.
Using the books Lady Wachter made, the Crimson Order has over the years slowly shifted the views on Strahd from gruesome monster to tragically cursed and betrayed fallen hero that seeks to free Barovia. Not all buy this, but enough that the Crimson Orders numbers have swelled over recent years and it would complicate any attempts to rally an uprising without proof to contradict the propaganda. Enough even feel sympathetic enough that the settlements of the Valley have on occasion agreed to pay tax of blood in place of coin to Castle Ravenloft to alleviate his and his spawn’s struggles.
In most books written by Wachter and the Crimson Order, Sergi is portrayed as the villain who cursed Strahd and the Valley on the night he killed Tatyana to steal her away from Strahd who she was set to marry instead of Sergi. The Crimson Order has worked tirelessly over the years to find and destroy any mention of historical accounts to the contrary. Even assassinating or modifying the memories of any knowledgeable historians who know differently.

Fiona’s Daughters and Wachter’s Rebirth

So to start with, I couldn’t find a way for Fiona’s sons to fit into the story very well and since they’re not much of characters anyway, I nixed them. What I have I think is much more interesting anyway.
To ensure that Strahd would always have the ability to restore her, Lady Wachter partially turned her mansion into an orphanage/boarding school for young girls, especially mist-touched girls. She would choose one or two girls she would dub her “Successor(s)” to be raised as her true daughter(s) to inherit her estate upon her death. Then when she dies, one of her chosen daughters is taken by her cult to a secret ritual chamber where Strahd performs the ritual to draw Wachter’s soul from the mist and force it into the unsuspecting girl who becomes the host of Lavonia Wachter’s soul. While the process of reincarnation in Barovia doesn’t require a body of the same sex to work, Lady Wachter carefully chooses girls for “how comfortable” she would be with as a host for her soul. She has also found that by training a host to be at least somewhat proficient with her skill makes the transition to a new body much easier and smoother as the muscle memory needs to be trained less, meaning she ensures each girl in her boarding school is given proper education and training. Girls who “age out” for her liking are often immediately recruited to the Crimson Order to serve as spies for her ends, though tabs are kept on them in case they become necessary to be made into an emergency host for Lady Wachter.
Lady Wachter’s preferred method of transferring to a new host starts when she reaches the age of 45 when she begins the process of choosing her Successors. She’ll generally pick 1 or 2 girls in her orphanage of the age of 5 or 6 and give them special attention and training, dubbing them her Successors as a “family tradition”. When she reaches an age where she is no longer comfortable in her current body, usually 60 to 70, she will pick a girl to be her host of her Successors, leave instructions for her cultists, then drink a painless poison that kills her in her sleep. There is a cabinet hidden in her bedroom full of this poison for these end as well as to be used to assassinate rivals and enemies quietly. The chosen host is taken in the middle of the night to a ritual sight where the host is brought before Strahd who imparts the soul onto the unsuspecting girls. All that remains for Lady Wachter with a fresh body and new first name to demonstrate her power to her cult and bury her previous body before picking up her plans where she left off.
At the time of the campaign, Fiona Wachter is 56 and has been grooming two of her girls as Successors: Stella and Sanja. Both young women are highly trained mist-touched girls taught how to mask their soulless nature, something unique to Wachter's boarding school that some believe to be a miracle cure. In reality it is rigorous training to give an illusion of such a reversal of nature to ensure few questions about the change in personality after Lady Wachter takes their body. As part of their preparation for becoming a host, they have been paraded around Vallaki to allow the nobility to meet them and learn their names and station. As such, they are regarded as Barovian Nobility of Wachter’s house despite nearly all girls in her boarding house being low-born peasants. From all appearances Wachter seems to be a legitimately caring adoptive mother for them. Despite their act there are very evident cracks in the mask that should show when interacting with the girls in a “uncanny valley” sort of way. It's all an act after all. By the time of the campaign, Stella has been severely psychologically scarred by a curse caused by Victor Vallakovich and in her warped mind she thinks of herself as a cat. This strange curse is a deeply rooted one that can not be cured by anything short of a Greater Restoration. This has only enraged Lady Wachter in what may at first come across as genuine maternal instinct but is more of frustration at the lost time, resources, and potential as Stella was her favorite of the two and first choice as a next host. While Fiona holds out hope for a way to fix Stella, she won’t dedicate any more time or resources to her with her plans for Vallaki needing her immediate attention. Besides, with Sanja she still has a backup host at the ready and there is time to fix Stella later. None of this is voiced by Fiona as she can't have her secrets spilled or her weaknesses revealed.
If something happens to Fiona Wachter and the party doesn't keep Sanja from being taken by the Crimson Order, Sanja will disappear and return a short while later as Lady Sanja Wachter to continue Fiona’s missions which may include trying to get rid of the party. Should Sanja be made unavailable, The Crimson Order will take one of the other 22 girls instead. Should none of them be available, Strahd will be forced to use the form of another random person to restore Wachter, which I encourage the use of a random NPC generator to make it interesting, especially if they settle for a man. As Wachter is a very useful and dedicated follower, Strahd will always ensure her restoration within 48 hours as long as he's able, with the actual ritual itself to restore her taking an hours, the first minute for fishing her soul from the mists into the new form and the rest of the hour for restoring her memory. Should either part be interrupted the ritual may be left half-finished and may have to be redone.

The Cistern

In the book Wachter uses her basement as the main headquarters meeting spot for her cult. Since that is far too conspicuous for a cult of its new size. This is especially so when so many young girls who may not be privy to the cult’s secrets are living in his home, so it's been moved.
Cutting deep underground with magic and forced labor from charmed laborers that were bled dry after their work was complete, is the headquarters of the Crimson Order, the Cistern. Constructed beneither Vallaki to allow the ease of the bulk of its members to easily meet, it is mostly a plain hune stone system of tunnels and caverns decorated with carving and tapestries of exaggerated scenes of Strahd’s life mixed with vampire and blood iconography. The majority of the structure is dedicated to either sleeping quarters for members of the cult, storage of bones and bodies of victims past to be used to make undead, coffins of hibernating vampire spawn waiting to Strahds to collect them, magical components and gear for the cultists, book printing materials and extra stock, yet to be enchanted and incomplete and dormant Toy Tatyana dolls, and of course blood.
In the deepest part of the Cistern is the main ritual chamber where the vast majority of cult rituals are held. On the stage on the East side of the chamber(the side closest to Castle Ravenloft) is a massive statue of Strahd that looms over the chamber, its eyes seemingly watching any who are in this chamber. This is where new members are inducted into the cult, where Lady Wachter’s soul is infused into her new hosts, and where the cult members meet monthly to affirm their devotion to Wachter and Strahd and give sacrifice of valuables and blood to the cult and their master. In the center of this chamber is a massive circular blood pit 30ft wide and nearly 100ft deep filled with blood. Lurking in the blood pit is a gargantuan Elder Blood Tyrant, a massive blood elemental. This monster watches over and protects to cistern from invaders, placated by the blood given to it by the cultists’ monthly ritual. This elemental will, once roused by a threat, flood any hallways and chambers it has to drown and kill the intruders before dragging them back to the pit to bleed them dry before depositing their husks beside the pit for the cultist to collect later. To this end each room in the cistern, aside from the main ritual chamber, is deliberately built to be 20ft in size to allow the Elder Blood Tyrant the ability to fill it in its entirety to more easily deal with intruders.
The main ritual chamber also has small outcropping carved into it with a teleportation circle each in them for the cult’s outposts at the various settlements across Barovia, Lady Wachter’s home, and Castle Ravenloft. None are labeled, but the cultist knows which of them is which to avoid using the wrong one. To ensure they can always be used by even junior member without Wachter or other important members having to be present and waste spell slots, the cult has made a powder infused with magic they keep in pot near the circles. When tossed onto the circle it powers and activates the circle allowing it to be used as if someone cast the Teleportation Circle spell. These circles allow for quick and immediate transport for the cultists to get from place to place quickly and allow Wachter and Strahd to visit with ease without openly and publicly leaving their residences.
Aside from the teleportation circles there are two physical entrances into the cistern, the first is through the basement of Wachter’s Books Emporium behind a sliding bookshelf that unlocks when the “book” “Blood Connection” is pulled. The second is tunnel the leads just outside of Vallaki’s walls that is hidden behind a fake rock that magically shifts out of the way when one whispers the words “Praise Lord Strahd” to it. Cultists use these if they are already in Vallaki or need to discreetly sneak out.
If the cistern is compromised by the party most of the cultists will try to flee through the exits and teleportation circles with a handful of usually low importance and less valuable new members that will be ordered to stay and defend it from the intruders. This gives room for the Blood Tyrant to deal with intruders with minimal unnecessary risk to the cult's members. Something else that only the highest members of the cult are aware of, is that there are hidden glyphs of warding designed to go off in the event the Elder Blood Tyrant is slain. To ensure that the cult’s secrets can't be compromised or used against them and Strahd the glyphs cause the whole cystern to systematically collapse, hopefully trapping the intruders inside. The last room to collapse is the main ritual chamber, this allows any remaining cult members to quickly get out, but it may also allow for the party to make a last-second escape for a crumbling hideout. The party will likely not know where each circle goes so if used to escape it may result in an interesting turn depending on which circle they choose to use.

The Baronship of Vallaki

Over the centuries Wachter and Strahd have been content with her position in Barovia’s nobility. As a wealthy noblewoman who’s family has had long standing influence over the valley her power has been more than sufficient for their goals. However things have shifted in the politics of Vallaki, and possibly Strahd’s goals. The Current Baron, Vargas Vallakovich has been spreading decent and talks of uprising against Strahd. This is something neither of them can allow. Especially if Strahd has greater machinations in the works, plans that could be approaching completion and require as little interference as possible. To end this insolence from Vargas, Lady Wachter, currently Fiona, has made several attempts to persuade him otherwise, even visiting his dreams, though it has done little more than galvanize him. He, and rightfully so, believe that Strahd and his servants are out to get and control him, though he refuses to succumb to their influences.
Since then, Wachter has sent assassins to remove him, but none have been successful thus far. Worse still, Wachter has been attempting to gain control or influence over Vargas’s son Victor so she can ensure his compliance to her and Strahd’s ideals and plans after his father’s removal, but he too has refused her. Her last attempt to worm her way into the Vallakovich household was when she sent her Successors Stella, to seduce young the Victor and wed him so Lady Wachter herself could slip into the family to combine both the power and influences of the Wachter Family and the Vallakovich family while removing a thorn in her and Strahd’s side. This however ended in disaster when, as stated before, Stella was cursed by Victor. Stella was returned to Lady Wachter, a mad and confused mess.
Infuriated by her repeated failures and the damage done to her Successor, she has become desperate for a solution. If necessary, she’ll use the chaos of the attack on Festival of The Rising Sun to have her cult ensure all the Vallakoviches are removed, but she doesn’t want to have to get her hands dirty. She’d prefer a much more peaceful and smooth transfer of power from Vargas to her to guarantee an easy rulership of Vallaki without risk of unrest and uprising. This is where the party comes into play as outsiders who can act independently from her and be easily blamed if necessary. Sending her spy Ernst Larnak to learn about them and find what she can use to manipulate them before inviting them to her estate. Using her charm and wit she’ll do and offer anything to the party to do her bidding to remove Vargas and the Vallakovich family for her.

The Kinds of Cultists of The Crimson Order

Here is a PDF with descriptions, Heroforge made artwork, and stat blocks for each of the different kinds of Cultist and Blood Elementals.

My son is 6 years old, level 3, nonverbal. He's also an extreme sensory seeker, which means that he makes a lot of messes. I got home from a very eventful day of work and he's been doing nothing but destroying the house since I've been home, I already don't even want to do the dishes that my fiance left in the sink before he left for work. After about four different extreme messes being made, I finally got him to calm down. I got us some Chinese food, and while I was putting the food out on the table, my son was sprinkling cinnamon all over the kitchen. I stopped him and cleaned up. While I was cleaning up, he got into his fried rice and threw it all over the living room. While I was cleaning the rice up, he ran back into the kitchen and started flinging soft spreadable butter everywhere. It's been like this a lot lately, I just chase him around cleaning up crazy messes. I lost it on him, I screamed at him for a good minute or two. I berated him and I just feel like a big piece of shit right now. Right now I'm in my bedroom trying to calm down, and more than likely he's made at least five messes while I've been in here. I have ADHD and I'm pretty sure I'm also on the spectrum, and I have a really hard time when I get overstimulated. I don't want to be that Mom that just screams at her kids. I know it doesn't help, if anything it makes their behavior worse. I just don't know what to do when I get feeling like this. What do you guys do? What are some techniques for calming down? How do you get your kids to listen and to not act like feral animals? I know going in the other room and calming down works to an extent, but it's kind of hard when I'm in the room trying to calm down and I can hear my son running around the house throwing stuff. How do you cope? I'm starting to think that I'm an unfit parent because I can't control my emotions. Edit to add: while I was in my room typing this, he got into the cupboards, got the vegetable oil and spread it all over himself and the kitchen floor. I just can't, I feel like I can't do this anymore.

Sebastian Rogers/ Based on Finding Nemo concept of Seth Searching for his lost son but wanting more money, which turns out to be a big scam and Not a missing child.

7th: Ami Cusack 1.0 (Vanuatu - 6th)

queen shit
u/SMC0629:
Ami is easily one of the best villains the show has ever seen, and her time on Vanuatu is super important. From the swap to the final 8, she practically controls the entire game, seeming to be unstoppable. Her strategy and charm make her super entertaining to watch, but her downfall is just as good at the hands of Scout and Twila. Easily one of the best characters in Vanuatu, so happy she made endgame.
~
u/DryBonesKing:
I don’t think I can even do a small little short write-up like this on Ami and give her the justice she deserves. She is in contention for being the most complex character of all time, with her balancing out being probably one of the most empathetic people Survivor has ever cast while simultaneously playing one of the most ice-cold games the show has ever seen. Ami’s ability to turn off her heart and completely snow someone in the most ruthless way possible is second to nobody.
There is something truly beautiful watching this force grow and develop into the de facto leader of the Yasur all women’s tribe and become essentially a Queen that ended up taking herself out of the game; her biggest mistake ended up being a brief, fleeting moment of empathy that she had never displayed prior, and it makes all the more impactful to see that of all things lead to her end. Combine that with the grandness of Leann’s blindside the round prior to her own and Scout’s voting confessional for her, and you essentially are left with possibly the most dynamic vote-out in Survivor history, bar none.
My Dad is someone who barely remembers any Survivor seasons after they finish airing, but Vanuatu is one of the few he remembers. And while it probably helps that both my Mom and I are obsessed with the season, it probably also is mainly because of Ami, who just struck a real deep image in him as probably one of the most intimidating villains the show has ever produced. I think that’s probably my biggest takeaway regarding her and why she feels so important to me; if you watched Vanuatu, you should just simply know how amazing she is. God, how in the literal fuck is someone like her not even the best character on her season? Vanuatu truly is one of the most top-heavy, blessed seasons the show has ever produced.
Overall Rank – 10/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
Ah yes, the ice queen and star of Vanuatu. She’s a spectacular addition to an already incredible cast and the season wouldn’t have half the soul and complexity without her.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
Ami’s the Ice Queen! Her leadership role on Vanuatu is just perfect, and her downfall at the hands of Chris, Twila, Eliza, and Scout is told so eloquently that you don’t hate Ami but you also understand why she’s being voted out. Now is Ami the most entertaining presence? No, but her role and story is just something not replicated by anybody else ever and it just makes it something so special.
~
u/ninjedi1:
What can I say about Ami that isn't going to be said already? As much as I hate the term with how often it's used for almost every survivor woman, Ami really the mother of Yasur, as she cares about all the women on it, showing her more caring side, but she can also show her claws when the men show up, ready to take them out as well. However, it's that personality and clashes with the other women that lead to her downfall, and it's overall a more unique and interesting villain story compared to others.
~
u/Regnisyak1:
Ami Cusack (Vanuatu, 6/18)
One of my favorite pieces of symbolism that occurs in Vanuatu is the motif of Ami stabbing coconuts with a pike. How can a story get any more perfect than that? And just like Bubba, just like Lisa, just like Rory, just like Sarge, just like Chad… each person gets their coconut on the pike. One at a time, one is frozen, iced out, and taken to the curb. The ruthless gameplay of Ami instantly becomes a classic aspect of her character. But, it’s the contexts behind her character that lead her to be such an exquisite character. One is her abundant feminism on the season, and how she advocates so hard for women's power, only to be destroyed by the existing fractures of the Yasur tribe. One is her kind-hearted soul, as we see countless times throughout the season, perfectly contradicting her ruthless nature. One is her brother watching over her, which leads to her vitriolic reaction against Twila swearing on her son’s life. One is her being the first lesbian (tied only with Scout) in the series who makes it to the stage where she can have a loved one run out to see her. The culmination of these character traits leads to a character that quickly becomes a legend, with some of the most intense complexity the show has ever seen, and much-needed representation the show needed.
Ami’s story on Vanuatu is a beautiful crescendo that depicts a rise to power and a fall from grace. Ami was in good on the tribe, had maintained a fantastic position, and was the mafia boss in the game, threatened by anyone who said her name, and eliminated thereby after. But the morality of Ami is what makes her so interesting. Ami is driven and determined, but her heart of gold shines through constantly. Her competitive streak came out on Survivor, but through her relationships, personal contexts, and incredible characterization, we get one of the most interesting villains in the history of the show and someone with a downfall that feels earned. It’s tragic, the way she’s eliminated, but the cockiness and arrogance she gets are incredible.
Undeniably, Ami’s story is wrapped around the concept of gender in Survivor. Her most important confessional explaining this fact is also her first confessional. At the ceremony at the beginning of the season, the women are put aside while the men are celebrated. Ami then states that she is not used to being put behind a man. At this point, the switch in Ami is already turned, and when the tribes are confirmed to be separated, Ami becomes a leading voice for feminism and keeps them together until the end. Adamant to create and maintain the first stable all-girls alliance, Ami’s determination becomes clear.
Even at the beginning, Ami is understood to be the one around camp, celebrating their gender, rather than tearing it down. She’s the leading voice against the men and beating them at the challenges. She is expressive toward Twila’s behavior on camp and becomes defensive when Twila states that she does not respect women who go around camp and just play with their hair all day (ask for your hair to be French braided!). She’s the first person to run up to Dolly when she breaks down. At first, during the pre-swap, Ami’s behavior is streamlined to supporting the women in the tribe, even if the cracks are already formulating quickly in the Yasur tribe, whether it is the division of women from young (+ Lisa) vs. old, or Twila and Mia’s behaviors further separating the two groups.
Preswap Ami shows her morals in the game - she deeply wants an all-women’s alliance to work, and there are clear good motivations for why she wants it to - it has never happened on Survivor from that point, and the culture expressed early by the Vanuatuans in the island made her volcano erupt and her determination set ablaze.
However, Ami’s motivations quickly begin to change, and that’s the moment that she comes into contact with the men. Yasur 2.0 has some new additions to the tribe, seen with Rory and Bubba, and that’s when Ami’s vitriol and desire to keep the women together becomes more harsh and unwelcoming than previously. Let’s start with Bubba and his ousting. Throughout the game, Bubba has been described as someone who is a well-meaning man who is out there for one reason - his family. His character is proven constantly to be a positive attribute of the tribe, and Lopevi 2.0 would have been shocked if it was him over Rory. But the issue is that Bubba gave a signal to Chris, leading to his spiral in the game.
Ami, at this point, is livid, and this is the most aggressive that we’ve seen her in the game. Immediately, the moniker “ice queen” becomes evident because after Bubba does that, there is 0 hope for him to reenter the good graces in Ami’s game. Ami doesn’t even need the extra 8 hours after the challenge to mull over the vote - it’s Bubba, full stop, and she doesn’t really have to do any more convincing. A man was going to go home anyway, so why even bother changing the vote around all day? Bubba’s boot represents the potential threat of the men making their leeway in the game, and the moment that signal goes off is when Ami gets lit up and she begins to play individually, in the best efforts to save the women’s tribe.
Or, so we think. It isn’t until the next episode, that we truly see Ami’s vision of the all-women tribe start to fall apart, with the leading domino - Lisa. I’ve mentioned before in this rankdown that I find Lisa to be an underrated character, just because of how integral she is to demonstrating Ami’s determination and no-nonsense attitude in the game. Lisa at the get-go was determined as untrustworthy because of her swing vote nature between the younger and older women on the tribe, and Ami’s loyalty and trust in her was already teetering on a thin line. It wasn’t until Lisa had a massive slip of the tongue, though, that her game imploded, and Ami again, iced out Lisa.
Lisa, asking Ami where the manioc is, in case something… happens to her, set off alarm bells within Ami, even if it was a clear slip, Freudian or not. With Lisa’s vote, we understand that the women’s alliance, while nice in concept, ultimately does not mean much down the line when Ami is threatened. Ami’s paranoia reaches an all-time high in this episode, and another switch is flipped when we see that she also understands that Survivor is an individualistic game at points, with the collectivist attitude allowing her to get to the end by helping her out when necessary. Lisa’s (and Bubba’s) vote also represents the beginning of the entitled Ami that we see and know throughout the season. She still talks about the women’s alliance with big eyes, but she comes cocky at this point, realizing that she is able to take people so easily out with her alliance and leadership role. The irony of Lisa’s vote, too, is that Lisa was a loyal soldier to Ami, even despite her previous behaviors before. We might never know what happened to the later portion of the game, but I can bet you that Lisa might have been more willing to keep Leann in the game and vote Eliza out. The shortsightedness with Lisa's vote is Ami’s game-losing move because her perception is changed, she loses a number, and the aura of Ami’s determination in the game becomes clear.
However, one character sees right through the bullshit of Ami, and how her ego is taking over her brain. Rory, the gruff crabass on the side who is doing anything to survive the little world of women on his tribe immediately clocks Ami for her behavior, and her brutal honesty about her wanting to keep the women together until the end becomes evident. Rory’s understanding that Ami is leading the vote him because he is a man, pisses Rory off, and he goes ablaze with the camp and Ami. Several slingshots later, Yasur skirts by tribal, but the merge is when the Ami vs. Rory relationship shines. Rory, fearing for his life in the game, is completely iced out by Ami, yet again, because of his gender. She wants to vote out all the men in quick succession and believes that the process should be easy and done.
But over Rory’s dead body will he go out without swinging. As soon as the other men come to the camp, Rory leaks Ami’s sour behavior toward him at the camp, and her complete cockiness and arrogance are evident as the women’s alliance becomes more and more true. Rory running around and throwing out that Ami is a massive threat in the game is important because it puts people on edge, and the other players begin to see what Ami is, even despite the misconstruals - she is a shrewd player who is potentially using the women’s alliance as protection for herself as the game goes on further. Scout, Twila, all the men, and Eliza at some point begin to see through Ami’s behavior in the game and realize that she is the kingpin in the tribe.
However, people continue to fall in line because Ami’s ice froze over the men at that point. Rory becomes the quick sacrificial lamb for their tribe, especially given Twila’s connection to the other men. Lea is a dead man walking following Twila’s fear against him lying to him. Chad… well Chad is a man, so sadly he needs to go. Ami (and Twila) are the leaders against the men, with Ami’s context being that she needs the men out as soon as possible and doing anything in her power to do anything for it.
This is why Ami’s next vote is so peculiar - she doesn’t go for Chris, she goes for Eliza. The moment Ami takes her eyes off the prize, she implodes and her closest ally, Leann, is immediately stabbed in the back by Twila, Scout, Eliza, and Chris. Her deviation seems peculiar when given how she played the game throughout the season - she wants the women to win, yet Eliza becomes so annoying it becomes obvious that Ami is a people pleaser at the end of the day. She wanted to help Twila and Scout by getting out Eliza, and yet they used that against her. Ami was ultimately never an ice queen, but she wanted to do what was best for the others around her, and ultimately her judgment in this moment was a negative.
Leann and Ami have an interesting relationship on the show too. I rewatched Vanuatu for this writeup, and Leann impressed me the most from the season. She has a tenderness quiet about her that I found to be really interesting because it actively went against Ami’s larger-than-life personality of being a freeing person. I loved Ami’s strategy in the season, where she was actively using a personal love language with being a touchy person with others around her, and the juxtaposition of the more reserved Leann leads to a power duo between them where one is based around their quietness and the other is drawing people in through comforting people with physical touch.
Following Leann’s final tribal council, Ami’s shining moment was the following episode where we see the catty side of Ami fly out, as she expertly tries to maintain herself into the game. In this episode, we see Ami’s vulnerability at an all time high. Ami has never been on the bottom of the game at this point, and the position is terrifying for her because she is a control freak, for lack of a better term. We see Ami have a lot of emotions in the episode - anger and bitterness toward Twila and Scout. Love and admiration for Julie and Eliza. Desperation to maintain in the game, and her ambitions at an all time high. The performance in her boot is one of the episode, and the emotional climax of her ousting is devasting in a lot of senses, even when Ami was treated as a villain. It shows the complexities of her character and how, even though we are not rooting for her, she is still a tragic figure.
Three important relationships exist within her boot episode, being Eliza, Scout, and Twila. With Eliza, we see her play her like a fiddle and attempt to get her to switch sides to keep Ami in the game. I love how Ami is brutally honest with Eliza because she was one of the leading voices to keep her in the game after awhile. Eliza is an annoying personality, but they always forged a big sistelittle sister, and I think Ami’s constant working on Eliza at the reward was really important characterization that shows her personal nature in the game. But at the same time, Eliza is aware of her position in the game, and I think while she was portrayed as a swing vote but knew that Ami was the ultimate threat. Eliza talking about how much she loves Ami at the end of the episode however, and their tears at the end was beautiful.
With Scout, we see her nasty side come out, which is especially strange given their initial perceptions of Scout and how she was seen as the wiser woman on the tribe. Ami was a person who perpetuated that belief with Scout, but as the episode went on she began to see through the ultimate bullshitter on the island, Scout. Ami yelling at Scout to put down her blanket was a great scene, but it was really their dualing voting confessionals. Ami basically saying that she was not apart of any rainbow she’s ever seen and Scout referring that Ami was arrogant with lightning striking the highest point was some beautiful characterization between the two.
But the relationship with Twila is the centralizing moment for Ami. Something that I have glossed over during this writeup was the death of her younger brother. That was depicted during the incredible reward with coffee and Rory earlier in the season, but we learn that Ami is guided by her brother in sky, who is looking down on her from above. The characterization of that seems random at first, but we learn how it fits into the story the moment that Twila swore on her son’s life when she offered to stay in the group with Leann and Ami, and then turned around and voted her that not. Ami’s vitriol following that tribal felt earned because she was genuinely hurt by Twila swearing on something so serious. Twila was not proud of what she did, but she had to do it to stay in the game, at least by her ways of thinking. Twila is a great character because she seemingly overthinks aspects of the social strategy in the game, but this time, the consequences were severe.
I loved their fight in the following episode because you can see Ami’s heartbreak. Ami blames Twila for getting pulled into their vacuum of nastiness, but also continually calls her a disgusting human being for swearing on her son and making that mistake. With Ami, it is a personal moment, and Twila’s flippancy with life and death actually has a severe negative consequence with her. It’s a great characterizing scene, one of the best fights of the season, and helps embellish both of them.
Twila and Ami culminate to an incredible jury speech in a sea of fantastic moments from the final tribal council of Vanuatu. With Ami, she needs to know about the lying and why Chris and Twila relied on it so much during their time on the Fire Islands. She wants them to refute the lying, but she also needs to know why she didnt have what it takes to make it to the end. I love what Chris says here, saying that she has too soft of a heart (the ice queen was just the exterior), but it was Twila’s response where Twila was playing the game in anyway possible, and that meant doing anything, even those idea that are considered unsavory. Twila’s answer of “a little colder, a little meaner. I wear my emotions on my sleeve” was an incredible moment for both characters, and I think there was a massive sense of closure between the two characters.
But it’s the fact that Ami respected Twila enough, and her answer, that we get her being the only other vote for Twila at this moment besides Scout. I think there are a lot of reasons for why Ami voted for her. It shows her kindness toward other characters and how ultimately the ice queen exterior can be melted. It demonstrates that she ultimately was pro feminism the entire time, and even with Twila, someone she detested at the end, she still supported that narrative, and her goals were not fake at all. And, at the end of the day, Ami’s narrative still supported that. I love that she ultimately reaffirmed her goals during the season, and it’s yet another layer in her complex character.
Unarguably, Ami has one of the greatest stories in the history of Survivor. There was a conciseness with Ami, where she was not overexposed on the beach, but her downfall felt well-planned, and her relationships were defined inciredibly with a sense of nastiness, love, and anger that blended into a set of emotional and pecuilar relationships. Her emotional, kind attitude created a unique villain that might never be replicated on Survivor again and the complexities of her brother, relationships, ice queen and harsh strategy, created a character that was a rolling amount of fun, intensity, and someone with a downfall that had everyone seated.
My last note on Ami is that she is a great confessionalist and can be quite funny at times. Vanuatu is filled with a lot of fantastic confessionals (and also ones where Chris belittles women again and again, ZING!), but Ami had a few that really stuck out to me. One was the great Michael Jordan one with Bubba, where she mentions that Michael Jordan would never talk to the other team. Another was about Scout in her slash and burn episode, mentioning that Scout put cayenne pepper down her pants and she is ready to DANCE! And lastly, one of my favorite quotes on Vanuatu was when Eliza matched the grapefruits in the memory challenges, and Ami so seductively yells “nice grapefruits!” No random moment makes me laugh harder than that one.
I was a little nervous when I got Ami’s writeup (she was last picked, lol), but I really am glad that I was able to experience Vanuatu again and watch it more from Ami’s perspective. Previously, I did it from other people, like Chris the first time, and Twila the next, but with Ami, we understand her villain arc so well because it is rooted in her real life contexts. Before writing this, she was already top 10, but at this point I am even considering moving her higher. Slay Vanuatu tho!
SMC0629: 8
DryBonesKing: 9
Zanthosus: 4
Tommyroxs45: 10
Regnisyak1: 9
DavidW1208: 19
ninjedi1: 10
Average Placement: 9.857
Total Points: 69
Standard Deviation: 4.525 (8th Lowest)