This year has been a rough year. A lot of things has happened, and I think every day is more intense in comparative of yesterday.
I'm in my 4th year of school, I really like the career I am studying, but it is so exhaustive. It is a humanist career, so I have to read a lot, like for the next next week I have an oral interrogation where I need to read 2 books with 400 pages each one, and that's just 1 subject. I am assistant in a subject and the rest of the assistant (2 other people, I'm mad with one of them because last year didn't help me with anything and I collapsed because of that) aren't very helpful, or they make some comments that hurt my feelings. Because of this and other situations, I am not comfortable when I'm in class and I get drained easily. Sometimes I'm daydreaming about changing career and study arts, because I always wanted to be an artist, but I don't have time to do something, and I am too ashamed to share what I do to my friends.
I am not comfortable in my home, neither. My little brother (4M) is at that moment of his life where his is super hyperactive but, at the same time, he is a little violent ? I don't know. He pushes me, he pinches me, he screams all the time, and he learned to open the door lock of my room, so I have no privacy. I am tired. I do not have the best relationship with my mother since never, and last time we started to talk more about how can we be gentle with my brother. Last week he got diagnosed with autism, so I have been helping and giving advice to my mother because I am autistic too, but I got diagnosed last year (my mother didn't believe me at that time, now she always tries to talk about it to me because I can help her with my brother but, at the same time, she hasn't said it to my other family about it ?? Like she ignores that I am autistic too and ignores all my struggles and that. It is not that I want she to say it to all the world, but when I came out to her, she told all my f* family and it was so weird. My family always tells everything to everyone, so. Yes. Is very weird) and I can help a little with that. My brother is like that because my grandfather (we live in his house since ever) like to scream and insult a lot, he has me fed up, and the father of my brother doesn't help her with him because he is having a parental burnout (is his first child so very understandable). This is a very stressing situation for everyone.
So, the "cherry on top" is that my partner (20M) and I decided to start living together. Yea. We both have similar situations on our respective homes, so we were so tired emotionally about it that we decided to search for a flat. And we luckily found a very good one last Saturday! So we are happy about it. But his family is more supportive than mine: my mom started the law of ice (I don't know if that's expression is valid in English, in resume she is ignoring me) and try to avoid me. But there are some days that she's super worried about it, and she gave me a washing machine and wants to buy me other things and that makes me so uncomfortable because since I was 15 yo I started to worry about myself and my needs (health and educations, my mom doesn't pay my university and nothing related to me) so is strange.
And I am tired because even if I have these good things in my life (a fantastic academic life, a partner that listen to me and is super nice to me and this new home only to us) I feel so sad and so insecure about a lot of things... I don't know if I am making the right decision with this, since I am just moving from home, but I'm still in the same city (I have this and the other year to finish my career, but I'm planing to study a master or still working in research) and sometimes I think that's dumb. And I know that it doesn't and this is going to help me with my mental health, but sometimes is just. I don't know. Everything is so complex.
I just wanted to vent, but if anyone wants to say something or share a similar situation, I am all ears. Or eyes in this case.
Sorry for my english, that's not my native language. And thank you so much for read me and for your time.

Well, I never drank alcohol until the last months. Family from both my father and mother, among other things, died from alcohol. That’s the reason I didn’t drink, because it was no secret, that something is different in our genes.
I started to play a bit with alcohol, got a bit tipsy, got some blackouts and what not; I experimented and experienced a fair amount. The only problem, is that I don’t have the negative feedback, and that’s why I don’t remember a day that I went to sleep sober, in the last 2 months. In other words, I wake up new, like nothing happened. If I drink a lot, I just wake up drunk - thats it. So? I kept on drinking, because it is nice.
Lately I feel like a barely sleep, and always looking to drink here and there. Last night I drank vodka like it was a bottle of water, and had some nasty black outs, but woke up drunk and just fine.
I must stop. I know it’s not healthy mentally and physically, but still, I feel like It didn’t hurt me enough to actually kill the switch in my brain to do this step.
Will be happy for your feedback, advices and experience. Have no one else to talk to.

Hi, I’m a 15F, and I’m turning 16 during the summer. My dad is part of a “religious practice" in which we do not celebrate pagan holidays like Christmas,Halloween,Easter,New Years, birthdays, and more. When I was younger, we used to celebrate, but we stopped when i was around the age of 9–11. I never had a big problem with it until, like, a year ago. When I was 13, I was jealous of my long distance family members and friends for celebrating fun holidays while i did nothing. Recently, most of my friends turned 16 and had parties. The best sweet 16 I’ve seen was an ex-friend of mine had. She had a massive venue with a beautiful pink dress and crown. Her family and friends were there to support her. She was gifted a car and received so much money. I was extremely proud of her, but I couldn’t help but feel abiT of resentment. I only had the chance to experience the moment on camera because I’m not allowed to go to birthday parties. My second friend had a dinner party with friends and received expensive and thoughtful gifts, but I wasn’t able to go. Now a third friend had a sweet 16, but I wasn’t invited because I’m not close to her, which is understandable. Everyone had pictures and videos of her walking down the venue in a long gown. She looked like Disney Princess Tiana; she was so pretty, and her girlfriend was slow dancing with her. It was so cute, but once again, I couldn’t help but feel jealous. I asked my dad if I could do one, because I remember him saying a long time ago that I would be able to celebrate my 16th birthday. He obviously didn’t remember and said there was no point in throwing a birthday party because in his own words “what’s so important about turning 16 and not 17, 18, 19, and 20?”. He also said it’s disrespectful to God because I’m supposed to celebrate God alone. I don’t believe in God, but he doesn’t know that. I asked instead of throwing a big party if I could just have a birthday dinner with family and look pretty. He didn’t answer my question, but I could sense he’s not so on with it. I don’t believe I’m being unreasonable with my wishes; I’m aware we don’t have much money and a birthday dinner will work fine. My father isn’t a bad person; he’s just gotten really religious over the years. He's gotten less strict recently, but I still don’t want to miss out on my teen years. My birthday is coming up in a month, and I just want a day to celebrate me and my accomplishments in life.

i (20F) have been with my bf 21M for ab 3 years, we broke up and went no contact for a few months and started over. the past year have things been on track.
i feel this is relevant but, my dad is abusive, last year before my birthday he told me he never loved me. he is a narcissist and does not know how to love. he used to slut shame me and humiliate me as apart of the abuse. when he found out i was assaulted, he said “i figured”… not the reaction you’d expect from a father. anywho my point in mentioning this is that i have never known a kind love from a man.
my bf is nonchalant. he never kisses me, never says i love you first, just never gives that reassurance, and sometimes isn’t very gentle when he speaks to me. it makes me really upset. i have brought it up multiple times and have told him i need reassurance because i do struggle with a fear of abandonment and it just makes me feel valued. he NEVER fixes it. he never posts me and i’ve also mentioned that. and idk overall he just is unaffectionate and i hate it because sometimes it feels like the same shit my dad does to us and i don’t wanna end up like my mom being in a loveless marriage.
BUT on the other hand i feel like he does love me. he comes everywhere with me and he spends his time with me and he is ALWAYS there for me. he does take care of me and overall he is a good person. he also communicates with me often and is very vulnerable about his personal emotions with me. i could go on and on but i know he does care about me. i can’t tell if i have a hard time with him non chalant or if dude just doesn’t love me.
how do i effectively communicate that i need to feel special, and loved?

[fucking long] (22m) I genuinely don't remember when I was last happy, like I remember when my parents were together in a decent looking house in a higher middle class neighborhood when my second sibling was born enjoying the time we spent together just playing outside with our rude neighbors and petting our cats indoors and just being kids. Not long after that we went for a walk by a pond with some geese and my mother became irate with my father said some stuff (that I honestly don't remember) and took his tin of dip pouches, told me to eat some and threw the rest to geese. Afterwards my father tried to get me to spit them up we went home. I don't think we talked about it or even went to a doctor. 2 years after that we were staying at my grandparents house bc my grandma was terminal, and maybe a week or two after she passes. We went to the funeral I was crying and crying and I don't remember what else happened. I don't know why but after that I was told that we were going to go see Grandpa again and to get ready, when I went to my room I remember crying and choking myself with a cord to some kids magnify glass (I don't know why I did that) and I don't remember the trip. We ended moving again but were in the same town. My last sibling was born, I ended up getting to choose his middle name pretty prideful of it. My father and mother fight bc my mother feels neglected, so my father ops to work nights. My mother feels that my father doesn't help with the family, he cooks meals 4 times a week. My mother thinks we should be going to therapy, so we do. The therapist thinks I have depression, so I get prescribed antidepressants at 8. Turns out I'm allergic and break out into hives, ended up going to the hospital and getting prescribed steroids. (This happened 3 times total) Parents have a big fight bc Mom was caught with another man in the house, mother moves us to a different town closer to her family. Mom takes me with her to see father in original house at night, he's on the porch sitting in the doorway just sleeping and loopy. Mother is waking him up saying something about him having a problem. (Years later he told me that paramedics were called on him since he nearly ODed on opioids, and he nearly died) Dad comes to check on us and parents are being happy again. Mother's family doesn't like dad (apparently my grandfather is super racist and found out that my father is 1/4 aa from his grandmother. IDK why he never said bitched about it years before, but different matter.) They get back together in the original house, and not even a year later I see my mother talking to a random guy in a laundry mat bring it up to her and she starts hitting me telling me to forget it. More time they fight, we end up leaving in the middle of the night with my father being put into a cop car. (He was released a day later doing nothing to my mother. But what's funny is that the expensive stuff that was bought for my siblings and self was seemingly gone, with my father saying that he assumes that it was my mother and our pothead neighbors nextdoor.) Mother ended up moving us around three times before we stayed in a the same shitty town that my mother was born in with 3 potheads my mother said were her friends. (Personal hatred of stoners) I licked a spoon from a pot of jambalaya, so the prick that my mother was dating waited until I went to sleep and scared me awake [while wearing a balaklava and all black] holding me down, before getting off of me saying that he scared me and to never eat from the ladle again. My cousin let me smoke some weed with him that he never said was laced until I later asked(I don't remember what is was but I remember everything looking static and blocky). I threaten to call the cops on the prick that my mother was dating if he did anything to them. So my mother puts me in a program called options, I was there for a month before my father pulled me out of it. My mother moves to a trailer next to a daycare, I end up riding a short bus and end up going to the daycare. I ended up fighting with the caretaker saying that I could just take care of myself over at my home, and later that night I get into another fight with the prick my mother was dating. Got put in another options clinic further away and labeled with Asperger's before getting it changed to autism and AdHD without even testing me, was two weeks before my father pulled me out. My mother gets me again, takes me with her to a Kroger parking lot where she sells her pills to someone. I mentioned it to my father when I saw him again. Some time later we went back to the stoner house and my father goes there and started yelling and following my mother outside where she was putting us kids in the car. (Apparently he found out that my mother was letting us be around these people who 2 of them had SA charges with one of them being with a minor.) Before decking the shit out of the prick and break his jaw (unfortunately only needed to get his jaw wired for a month). Aunt saw a text message from my father on the phone that was given to me [said that he was sorry that my siblings and me had to experience all of that] and ripped it out of my hands saying that I should never talk to him. My father ended up being put in jail for a year. My mother left the prick and got together with a dirt bag that my father used to be friends with. They would typically go out to eat with his daughters leaving us at home and give us the scraps from their take out or just tell us to make something ourselves (I was 13 and never taught anything), after that I got pissed and ended up disappearing for a whole day because I didn't want to go to school and ended up having some cops looking for me and amber alert and being sent to live with my dad. (I don't care I fucking won) Some time later I ended up breaking my leg from roller skating in school and permanently getting it removed from the criteria and ruining everyone's 7th grade year. (feel like a winner) Moving to a new town with dad(final town to this day), going to highschool. [Retrospect] Some cute girl sat across from me at the library wanting to interlock hands, so I did. She asked if it felt special (I didn't know what that meant to me), I said no and she never talked to me again. Another cute girl, asked me on the last day of middle school if I was interested in anyone and if I wanted to date. I said no (I didn't think I deserved anything and didn't want to waste her time) Freshman year I ended up "e-dating" two people I met on Wattpad(I am aware how cringe I am). First person was someone who suffered anorexia and we used Skype would talk daily and she ended up breaking things up 3 weeks after. Second person was someone who wanted to talk and watch each other sleep before she ultimately changed it to having us sext(hoimomes and teens) her friend wanted her to break up saying that I was probably some old man who was a pedo. (I did not leave that area of the Internet in the healthiest way possible, both for my mental being and how I left the people on there) Pretty much zoomed though highschool stabbing someone freshman year, being thought to be a potential shooter, and overall being treated with fear and respect. Though some people did think I was wasting my potential, especially since I never did my homework but always scored high on my tests and was always asleep at home. Highschool graduation was ruined by COVID, I didn't care. Got a job working on a warehouse dock buying knifes and testing how sharp they were on the top side of only one of my arms, slowly breaking mentally before asking a friend(19m) out saying that was fearful that I was nothing more than a background friend.. 9 months and 3 grand later we broke up (and I don't talk to him to this day) Quit the job, was unemployed for a year just sleeping in bed all day, wound up poisoning my self with caffeine pills so bad that I was taken to a hospital. Got another job, wound up continuing the knife hobby before stopping (stopped feeling any emotion related to the pain, so it was pointless) and got into a different hobby (to burry any resentment or negative feelings) And that's been going up until today with me getting so bored that I was curious how much weight I would lose if I stopped eating every other day. (Lost 25lbs from 210 to 185 yoyo-ing 180 if I don't eat enough calories)
all I feel daily is nothing but empty and tired. The only reason that I am still here is the self hatred for everything I've done wrong by own admission or what I've been told by horrible mother.
Tldr: I am the mistake of two fuck ups and am still here by the means of so much self hatred that I ignore my loneliness.

Snail: Dedede! King Dedede! The most greedy, tyrannical, and goofy penguin in all of dream land!
Bowser: Self made ruler of the land and by that I mean he kicked everyone’s butts and nobody could stop him! He took all the food in dream land! He’s starving a planet the fuck-
Snail: King Dedede would smash anyone who stepped in his way as massive ego boosts for the unrighteousness and undeserving king! All until a certain Star Warrior name Kirby came along!
“Hiiii!”
Bowser: Kirby kicked Dedede’s ass not once but TWICE! And in one game geez dude he didn’t even have copy abilities yet that’s sad!
Snail: But even still Kirby showed the king… kindness?
Bowser: This really changed Dedede’s view on things by the next game he tried saving dream land! I mean while looking like a dick because he sucks at asking for help but he’s trying!
Snail: While it would take time Dedede was on the path to redemption! But he’d have to be strong!
Bowser: While not as strong he fought with and alongside Kirby on multiple occasions! And even defeat Magolor and his ship! Magolor’s ship could cross another dimension a higher dimension that exists above time and space! And even destroy another dimension!
Snail: And while he had his trust hammer to clobber the bad guys and that there Kirby he wanted a bitttt more!
Bowser: Like the invincible Candy that can make King Dedede entirely invulnerable for a short period of time! Or his jet hammer that has missiles! And is a flame thrower!
Snail: Even with mask and hammer King Dedede is a king… SO HE HAS AN ARMY! Like his snail servant super cool right hand man! Escargon! He’s not much of a fighter… but he and Dedede have a car with a canon on it!
Bowser: What about the Waddle Dees! You got ones with spears, a guy with a bandanna, umbrellas, cars, they the waddle boys!
Snail: Of course they aren’t very strong or competent fighter with Bandanna Waddle Dee being the only notable exception but they are all extremely loyal to their king to the bitter end! No matter what! And Dedede loves all of them willing to put his life on the line to save them!
Bowser: In order to keep him say he learned a ton of powers! He can regenerate after being stabbed or come back as a ghost by absorbing life force! He can fly! And inhale his enemies and spit them out!
Snail: A lesser version of what Kirby can do! Because King Dedede always wants to one up Kirby!
Bowser: Why do that when the King has his own abilities and weapons that are just as cool! Like bombs! Every good game villain like us needs bombs!
Snail: His mask amplifies his own power greatly and he can shoot electricity out his hands to paralyze people!
Bowser: He can summon the monster of the week from Nightmare enterprises although don’t expect him to pay!
Snail: Lovely! Ya know too think all this cuz he was beefing with a baby.
Bowser: King Dedede’s intelligence may seem below average but it’s far from it, he is a master fighter with experience fighting aliens, robots, alien robots, gods and bug queens! And even drive giant mechs like the the Dedededestroyer Z! A giant mech with more missiles and a hammer arm! It’s huge!
Snail: What a self absorbed penguin! But he’s there for his friends thick and thin! While before he was unwilling to allow Kirby to help him, he went from that to be fine cowering behind Kirby and being happy to see his now friend.
Bowser: Maybe Dedede ain’t so bad! Like when he got double mind control in forgotten land! He became stronger than ever but didn’t care that he lost!
Snail: But when a giant bunch of animals attack our heroes and a Waddle fell behind Dedede tossed that Waddle to make sure he was safe with Kirby and was ready to put down his life and fight alone to protect his friends and subjects
Bowser: And hey he survived! What a legend! He may be kind of a jerk at times but he’s a caring jerk!
Snail: I think Dedede shows us all why we should be kind because one act of kindness can change the worst people for the better!

Bowser: In the world of Hazbin Hotel where angels purrge Hell once a year none can hold a candle in terms of crafty building as Sir Pentious!
Snail: While he may not be as smart as me he’s a very dangerous man! Sir Pentious is a sinner and they’re people who died and of course, went to hell!
Bowser: Very bad ones! While it's unknown how he died we know when! Back in 1888! He's a whole sas steampunk inventor so he had time to learn how to make hell weapons I guess!
Snail: Sir Pentious as a sinner has all the regular sinner powers you'd expect! He can regenerate missing arms and he's immortal as a never-aging demon, without death, as a possibility for him cuz he ya know died.
Bowser: He was a ruthless crime lord who survived the complete vaporization of his airship a feat that would have required him to tank 104 tons of TNT! And he's considered a physical wimp in hell! Oh yeah, he has an airship!
Snail: It comes equipped with lasers, giant thrusters, and more lasers! And even a holy laser!
Bowser: His minions are the Egg Boiz they are egg people who are fierce and loyal they also have electricity guns!
Snail: Sir Pentious wields a chain for combat as well as a spider like well… arm thing? I'm not sure what this is.
Bowser: He may not be the best in hand to hand but he still has the hands and even if he struggles he can use his many eyes over his body to shortly stun or hypnotize you! Combine that with a poisonous bite and he’s no push over! Well maybe he is but-
Snail: He should also be far superior to imps like Blitz! Who can fight robots who can dodge sniper shots at Mach 9! Making Sir Pent very very fast!
Bowser: He really just wanted to be an overlord a ruler of hell but instead he was manipulated by a group of overlords and force to spy on the Hazbin Hotel where sinners get redeemed!
Snail: But he got caught extremely fast and got told to Low Tier God himself by his boss! But god damn the Hotel was nice enough to let him get redeemed! He made friends, joined them in bondage, and crushed on the fire bomb! Cherry Bomb!
Bowser: But to save her and the rest of the hotel he gave his life to stop Adam and shoot a laser at him! The same Adam who could cut mountains! No, he got killed before he could hit but even Adam admits it could've gotten ugly if he was hit!
Snail: And hey for his good actions he went to heaven! I’d say this Hazbin turned his afterlife around pretty damn well!

I get utterly fucking confused when we fight. We start talking about one thing I make a point and she starts talking about something else like she’s grasping at straws trying to win the argument vs solving things..either way my dumb ass gets sucked right into the rabbit hole and by the end of it I have no fucking idea where I started and I end up caving in to the 3 hours of no talking in the house and telling her I love her..this time I’m not.She actually had the nerve to tell me to leave if I’m not happy…we’re married with two kids and I absolutely love this women.Im the sole provider a very involved father wine and dine this women massages,coming on to her you name it but yet she always finds a way to make me feel fucking worthless I go to extremes to take care of myself for her to come on to me more often,but I have to ask instead I feel like all she does is take and never give then she’ll asks what’s wrong and I’ll be honest very calmly and she’ll say that I make her feel like shit,but I’ve felt like shit for weeks.i feel like her affection is an act at this point for her gain….my mind is so scattered and i have no one to vent too.so sorry. But man my brain is in need to rest and I can’t seem to get it.Is this just me ?

We broke up over a year ago on my birthday, but ever since then he never went away. I don't know why he's here 'cause he all ready has a new boyfriend and still comes to sleep over at my house.
For context I'm 19 and so is he, but i live with my parents and he lives alone. My dad forced us to break up but i thought we would still be together just keeping it covered, until he started saying that i was not a good boyfriend, which i admit i really wasn't, i was full of anger issues and used to let my anger out on him, I'm not proud of myself because of that but i still tried to make him happy, despite the fact that he accused me of cheating on him several times, he told that to a bunch of my friends, and some of them cut contact with me because of that.
I really thought that we were meant to be, but in less then a month he got another boyfriend, the fact that he replaced me in such a short period of time had me in tears for days, it really wasn't my best phase and i am still struggling to overcome this because he and my father have a wierd bond now, and occasionally he comes over and sleeps here, almost every time he's here he treats me like garbage, and sometimes he comes here all flirty and says some very graphic stuff that y'all don't need to know and i admit one time i did let myself go, again not proud of it.
I truly just needed to let this all of my chest, but if anyone has any advice on how to get myself out of this situation, i would love to hear it! Anyway thanks for hearing about this mess i got myself into :)

[ First / Previous ]
Memory Transcription Subject: Hileen, Krakotl Fugitive Recovery Agent
Date [standardized human time]: November 28th, 2136
It'd been a while since I sat in Marlig's office for a talk face-to-face. Given the agency's secluded location at the edge of the downtown region, it was a chore to drop by when it wasn't for business, but I'd deemed the matter at hand to be worth my time.
I passed by Nampi at her desk on my way to the door and she gave me a coy glare as I carried on. Trying to ignore her risible ear waggle, I turned the corner to the door with my boss’s name painted on the glass panel where I could hear the frantic crumpling of paper.
Quietly, I entered Marlig's office without prompt as I knew he hated to be spooked by knocking. My mentor was surprisingly spry for a bird at his age, sorting through papers with one wing and an eye while using his talons with the other to set away the papers he had splayed out.
“Hileen!” he chirped. “Glad you could make it in today. I was just finishing up my paperwork. Take a seat.”
It was always nice to hear him drop the professional motif for a more grandfatherly attitude when speaking in person. I did as he suggested and took a seat while he grumbled to himself over the sorting. My eye caught a few of the old contracts he was rifling through and saw that some dated back to his days as an agent.
Eventually, he left some sitting out as he sequestered the rest back into their files, sorted by a dichotomy that only he and Nampi could comprehend fully. He motioned with a wing for me to peruse and I turned the first one to face me to find it was my first contract, signed by me in a sloppy fashion. “This takes me back a couple of years.”
“Slick bastard thought he could get away on a forklift but you showed him! Certainly more exciting than my first day!”
“Mm-hmm. And it was when I nearly got impaled that you had the idea to commission all of us utility vests.”
He chuckled, “I really should’ve done so sooner. Cuts and scratches were already a risk, but a forklift was a new one!”
I flipped through the pages of each report, finding that Marlig's notes were filled with praises of my work. There were highs and lows, but I was flattered to find that the grizzled krakotl held my performance in such high regard.
“Flawless interception!” read one footnote about me catching a runner. “Couldn't have done it better myself!”
Marlig waited patiently as I browsed quickly through each page, realizing more and more how the notes also marked improvements in my work. How I found it easier to talk down a rowdy client, or apprehend them in the case that they were beyond helping on my part. Flowery language plastered most pages with him fawning over my work as a doting father would to his prodigal child.
The trend took a sharp turn as the notes became fewer and more critical the closer the dates reached to the present. I brushed the others aside with a wing to peruse the final paper. “And this…”
“Is Tac. Your latest contract. The most recent in a line of declining performance since the interview. This has become a pattern, Hileen, and its consequences are beginning to reach beyond yourself. Paji and Vesek resigned recently for personal reasons, which leaves us even less hands on deck than before. That's four people to cover the entire municipal region, and maybe even beyond, should needs arise. Three, if we include this little probation I have you on.”
“What was I supposed to do? Marlig, these ‘jobs’ you've got us working on overstep the contracts we were signed on with. Our job is to make sure people obey their court-mandated duties, not drag them off to the facilities ourselves!”
“... So the trip we took to the facilities did bother you.”
A sigh clicked in my throat as he reminded me. “Is that what happens to the people we take in, Marlig? Is that what would've happened to your wife?”
His feathers ruffled.
“That's what happens to those who are too dangerous to the general public to be left roaming free. Not everyone we deal with winds up there, but everyone can be subject to it. Miskela sued for her exoneration and proved in court that she was not diseased. I brought you there to show you how it helps the people, but I see now that it was a mistake. I understand why you were so perturbed, really, but it's how things have been for centuries. It's how we've protected ourselves from the dangers out there.”
“You were willing to let Barsul be interned there, too.”
Marlig flinched and sighed as he swept the papers towards himself once I'd signaled I was done. He turned one eye to me while he sorted them.
“There's no room for favoritism, girl. I negotiated for him to be allowed to walk free, and look where that got me. That boy - your neighbor - suffered the consequences of my nepotism. So too would the girl, had nobody intervened.”
“Like Richard.”
“The human, yes. Or you. Or the police. Where does this sudden obsession with humans come from, anyway? I get notifications of you talking about the acceptance of them all the time on forums.”
“Does it even need explaining?”
“Well, I guess not, no, but it's certainly an about-face from the way you used to talk about them with me beforehand.”
“People can change, for better or worse. Which one I fall under remains to be seen.”
Marlig stroked at the plumage on his neck as he finished his sorting. “I hope it's the former, for your sake. Was there any reason you came to talk, or were you just checking that I hadn't gone senile?”
“Well, I was hoping to borrow your secretary for the evening.”
He perked up while his eyes narrowed and he laced his fingers together with curiosity. “You… want to spend an evening with Nampi?”
“It's not what you're insinuating, but yes.”
“I was insinuating nothing,” he warbled coyly. “Go ahead and take her, and make sure to split the bill at dinner.”
“Pain-in-the-ass geezer. I'll keep in touch if your friend causes any more trouble.”
“Keep in touch regardless. Miskela and I get lonely in our old age,” he called back. “Take care.”
I stepped out into the hallway and turned toward the desk where I could hear the secretary's claws tapping furtively at her keyboard. Nampi sat silently with her ears and tail in a relaxed position that implied a bored demeanor. There was barely any response as I stood before her, waiting politely for her acknowledgment that never came.
Hesitantly, I cleared my throat.
An ear raised in acknowledgement, but her focus remained on the screen of her computer. “Mhm?”
“Do you…?”
Her ear rotated toward me, though she still maintained a passive attitude as she continued to glare mindlessly at the monitor.
“Are you free this evening?”
“Well, I'm quite booked, I believe. Why do you ask?”
I was surprised at her curt, dry tone. She hadn't spoken with me like this since we first got to know one another.
“Well,” I started. “I realized something. Every time we went out, whether it was clubbing, or dinner, or even walking around the parks, you always footed the bill. And so…”
Slowly, her other ear perked up and I saw her keystrokes slow down as she listened in.
“I wanted to return the favor?”
Her lips smacked as she opened her mouth, though paused before she spoke. “How could you possibly do that?”
“With a little gesture of friendship.”
Nampi's horizontal pupil turned up toward me and her tail twitched.
I continued, “So that belt you're wearing? It's the same belt you've worn since we first met. And I know you're the pragmatic type who'd never spend a credit more than she needs to, except for all the times you do"- her ears twitched in indignance -"I wanted to see about getting you a little something… extra?”
Her paws raised from the keyboard and she leaned in, resting her snout on her palms. “Go on.”
The bubbly venlil's tail sold out her collected facade as it twitched with anticipation. She was cornered and she didn't even know it yet.
“Well, I found just the place on the other side of town where we can start. It's a place almost as rich and indulgent as yourself.”
“The Platinum Paw? I mean3”
Her ears folded back in embarrassment as she cracked. She wasn't cut out for acting anyway.
“So that's what it's called! Jeez, I couldn't for the life of me figure out what it was called. Now what do you say? We go over there and find you something nice—”
I hadn’t even finished my thought before Nampi had grabbed her bag and was out the door, giving me a playful tail flick that said come and get me.

The place I suggested was in a shopping center on the opposite side of town, though easily accessible because of its proximity to the transport rails. Nampi had insisted on grabbing something to eat beforehand and so now gleefully bit into a bundle of stalks that had been “grilled” as explained from the food truck we'd stopped at.
Her tail flicked back and forth with her usual enthusiasm as we entered the massive complex of stores. The roofless plan allowed the natural, orange sun to flood the upper levels while artificial lighting illuminated the ground level wherever the light couldn't reach.
The place was built in the last decade by the previous City Magister in a bid for popularity, though ultimately for naught as he would lose the vote following a scandal involving an iftali priestess and a carved bar of soap. I had to say that despite being sick in the head, he sure had a great sense of decor.
Nampi snacked away, joining me in admiring the scenery as we continued to the place I’d planned out for us. Aimless chatter all melded together into a single, thrumming murmur as pedestrians navigated the many levels and stores offered in the place.
A troupe of children passed by us, held in a chain of tails and arms as they were escorted by a pair of venlil who I assumed were students and teachers on a school trip. I caught a whiff of a sweet, aromatic breeze and found it to come from a perfume shop on the same level as us; naturally, venlil were not to be found inside.
We passed a fountain where a couple sat on the edge, their tails twined together as they giggled and flirted. I turned and caught Nampi watching them as well, though she awkwardly returned to sucking the remains of her meal from her claws when we made eye contact. Her ears lifted when I raised a wing to signal to the store we were going to stop at first.
“Platinum Paw, The Greatest Fashion Emporium For Everyone!”
The title alone was painfully cliche, taken to the tenth power by the brightly lit store taking up three department slots. Despite the flashy exterior, though, it was the best place to shop for belts, brooches, and bracelets alike. Customers who looked like they earned my yearly salary in a week browsed the higher end brands while I brought my friend to the section I wanted to show her.
Her ears were held up as we stood together next to a shelf chock full of fashionable bags and bandoliers of every variety.
“Pick one,” I told her.
Nampi's ears shot to a straight pose in surprise, “Any?”
“Within reason. I've got a few extra credits to blow and I know nobody better to spend it on.”
With an inviting headtilt, I let Nampi peruse the shelves at her leisure. Her lips pursed together and her tail flicked with glee as she fingered at every piece that caught her eye. I chuckled at her outburst of enthusiasm while turning to find my own items to gloss over.
A breeze from outside nipped at my beak while I considered what I’d like to purchase. The place dripped with an atmosphere of faux hospitality, from the bright blue-stained floorboards to the radio prattling off advertisements in a sickeningly sweet tone to the faint, fruity aroma of scented cleaner. It was oppressive as only a fissan-owned company could be to the senses.
What I wouldn’t pay to see how a human would fare in such an environment.
I knew they were social creatures at least, but I had no doubt that the predatory senses of a human, so honed to hunting, would get overstimulated in this center of gaudy indulgence. Knowing I was something of a predator myself made me sympathize provided that even I had to squint to keep the pale lights inside from searing my eyes. I could only imagine how the arboreal eyes of a Terran would fare. I was so lost in thought imagining how lost the Terrans would be that I could almost ignore the obnoxious giggling and metallic rattling coming from behind me.
Risking a peek at the source, into my sight came a pair of venlil, one a male carrying a pair of bags as well as a couple more strapped to his belt. The bored expression in his eyes was not one of a man who was in high spirits. The other venlil was a woman who was the source of the noise.
Her mottled gray pelt was accented by a tasteful belt design, free of almost any practical functions but not flashy or excessive in garnishment either. At least, that’s what I would say, were it not for the braid of beads that dangled on the belt, jingling with each bounce of the lively woman’s stride. It was clear that such a gaudy accessory was intended to draw attention to her, though why was a mystery. Certainly, the shiny braids seemed designed as decoration first and practical second.
She turned about and I faced back to my browsing before she could catch me staring. Nampi was nowhere in sight, though I figured she was somewhere behind the shelf, sifting through every accessory on the section I'd suggested.
Clink.
Something pelted to my immediate right. I tilted my head to spot a tree nut shell clattering to the floor. Without being able to guess where it came from, I had to wonder what could've launched it over this way. Even with my keen eyesight, nobody in the crowd seemed to be a suspect.
Clink.
Another shell pelted my vicinity, ricocheting off of the floor and hitting the shelf I was standing next to. I ruffled my feathers in frustration - clearly, someone was trying to get my attention, though I couldn't make out who it was. Out of the corner of my vision, the woman from before eyed me curiously as I looked about, though I wasn't interested in engaging with her.
Thwack.
One more shell came flying and, unfortunately, the aim on this one was true, nailing me on the beak. Irritated, I stormed out of the store to find the source of the instigator. I scanned over the bodies to find anyone who could've been responsible for this indignity, eventually concluding that it came from the dining area across the walkway.
Whoever was responsible was in for an earful and I was already structuring which of the offender's family members would be acceptable as fodder for stray words. As I approached, I found the tables were mostly empty save for one, which made my heart begin to drop as I met eyes with the only occupant. Suddenly, I was much less inclined to hurl insults.
“Oh, hi there!” Qitel called out in a sickly sweet tone. “Come, take a seat! We have much to discuss!”
The Exterminator clutched a bag of tree nuts in his claws, a pile of discarded shells already gathered on the table next to him. He grabbed another as I approached, effortlessly prying the shell in half between two claws and tossed the contents into his mouth. “Good protein, these,” he commented as I sat down.
“Must be for that good arm you've got there,” I mumbled. I caught sight of a couple of bags beneath his chair, seemingly from one of the tech stores contained within the center.
“Bah, it's guesswork. So how are you? I haven't heard from you since we worked together!”
“I was just spending time with a friend, shopping and enjoying my time off.”
“Your time off? Oh, am I interrupting something?”
His snide tone irked me, though now wasn’t the time for interjections. “You are, Qitel,” I replied with no shortage of vitriol in my tone. “But I see no harm in chatting for a bit.”
“Good, because I have some merchandise”- he reached into his belt pocket and deposited a couple of items onto the table -“and you’re just the person to look into it, human sympathizer.”
I drew a terse breath in shock, but my worries were quelled when I considered that if Qitel had the power to do anything about it, he would’ve done so instead of approaching me so discreetly. A glance down at the item on the table showed that he was presenting what looked to be a tracker as well as a personal drive. “Found in the garbage,” he told me.
“The guild resorts to dumpster diving when they already have such a bloated budget now?”
“No, featherbrain, I have decided to keep this for myself. These items were found together, sealed in a plastic pouch, and placed in a garbage bin. The city has bans against electronics being placed into public bins, and so I was curious why this wound up in there. Managed to get my coworker, a techie, to crack it open and…”
Qitel reached into his belt again, glowering at me with the same condescending gaze he’d given me when I first saw his face. He seemed to revel in digging for the item as slowly as possible to waste my time. Finally, he found whatever he was looking for and revealed it as a printed piece of paper, folded into eighths. The snobby yotul threw the unfurled paper on the table and rolled it toward me.
I craned my neck to look at the parchment, though I was immediately perplexed by the text on it; it appeared to be some sort of form, going by the boxes with words on the inside, followed by blank lines. “Found on the drive, here,” Qitel told me, jabbing a claw to the storage. “Translator shows it as Terran writing.”
Drawing my holopad from my satchel, I held it over the paper with the translator to get an understanding. Surely enough, the language on it came up positive as a variant of Terran writing and I was affirmed in it being a form of some sort based on the wording of the text. The boxes seemed like an odd sort of job application, asking for the typical name, contacts, and prior work experiences, but quickly took a strange turn as it began asking for where their home on Earth was prior to arrival, what family they had on Venlil Prime if any, and where they worked, implying that they were seeking individuals who were already employed.
I knew little about human employment methods, but I didn’t imagine that sourcing individuals from other jobs was the most efficient way to gain a workforce. Terran service industries already dotted the planet while many humans also found work in local environments. So what was the angle that the creator of this application was going for?
Most concerningly was that the paper had no insignia, identifying marks, or noted address to return the form to. “And where did you find it again?”
“In the garbage, alongside this intact tracker that was activated at the time of recovery. Y’know, when I was dumpster diving. Text on the document showed it was addressed to one ‘Choctaw Nexus’.”
“A pseudonym of some sort?”
“Clearly. Short sorting through the archives shows the first name traces back to the group out east - perhaps you've heard about them. How the name and the items we have here are connected is beyond my understanding, but-”
“Well, this has been an absolutely riveting discussion about your collection of trash, Qitel,” I told him as I stood up to leave. “But this really sounds like an issue to be resolved by your fellow guildsmen.”
The sound of another shell splitting rang out as I turned away.
“I'm not through talking with you, predator.”
The sting as a piece nailed me in the back of the head prompted me to whirl back around, sticking my beak in the insolent yotul's snout. “Perhaps you've forgotten, little man,” I cooed in an equally bittersweet tone to the one he gave me before. “The krakotl never had a problem with settling issues the old-fashioned way before the interview. Try me and find out why I'm in the line of work I am.”
“Oh, we wouldn't want that in such a"- he waved his paw to a group of passersby who had stopped to gawk at my display -”public forum. Please, contain yourself.”
I had to force the feathers on my back to settle and I raised my head away from him. “What else is it you wanted, then?”
“Well, I'd appreciate if you took this merchandise off my paws,” he told me as he brushed the electronics and printout toward me.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you're closer to the humans than I'd ever care to be, and may be able to find out who this Choctaw Nexus is. Something about the package just feels… off. And I know when to trust my feelings. Besides, we both know that you know where Tac is, don't we?”
“I don't-”
“We have videographic evidence that you conspired with a human - of the aforementioned squatters, no less - and let the kid escape. You're not as sneaky as you think, and if we find this ‘Choctaw Nexus’ turns out to be a bad actor that can be traced back to them - and by extension, you - well, there’d be no talking down my boss from having you dealt with. By helping me find out who this is, you may yet be able to clear your name of any wrongdoing.”
I clenched my beak tightly to maintain a straight face. Qitel stood up with a flourish and discarded the bag he was carrying in a bin.
“See, the krakotl were never special for using threats and bullying to get results. It's because you were good at killing predators,” he jeered. “Now, if you don't mind, this primitive has appointments to attend to… old lady who got trampled courtesy of the humans and all. You stay out of trouble, Hileen, and stay in touch.”
The self-assured marsupial melded into the crowd in a matter of seconds, leaving me with a table containing dumpster trophies and a pile of shells. Reluctantly, I swept the shells into my wing and dumped them into the bin before gathering the other two items he'd left me and stuffing them into my bag. I'd been gone from Nampi long enough and she would notice my absence before long.
Crossing the walkway again, I could spot from where I stood that Nampi was indeed still in the Platinum Paw. I approached, and soon I found that while she didn't seem to have noticed me stepping away, she was definitely in a soured mood based on the sagging of her ears and tail. With my talons clacking on the floorboards, I hustled to her side and her mood chippered up ever so slightly as she heard me approach.
I chimed in, “Find anything?”
“Everything. I want everything, Red, and I can't decide on what I want. They all just look so great!”
From behind, a voice called out, “Nampi!”
We both jumped at the exclamation and turned about to spot the venlil lady I'd seen before spring from behind the shelf. The man poked his head from behind the shelf too, though less enthusiastically and with yet another bag in his clutches. My friend's eyes widened in surprise with her tail and ears perking up in kind. With a light in her eyes, she exclaimed, “Nalek!”
The two embraced with shrill squeals and laughter as Nalek's accompaniment and I traded awkward glances.
“It's been too long!”
“You never stayed in contact!”
The women exchanged giddy greetings and the pompous stranger turned to me, leering over me as though she was sizing me up.
“Who's your friend here?”
“Oh she's actually my-...”
Nampi paused for a moment, looking back to me.
“Yeah, she's a friend.”
“A friend,” Nalek repeated while her eyes flicked between Nampi and I. “Right.”
Somehow, I get the impression that that was judgemental.
“I'm Hileen, by the way,” I chirped, “if names are to be exchanged.”
“Hileen, that's a lovely name! And such plumage to match, it's a wonder you aren't swarmed by suitors!”
Internally, I groaned at the notion. The idea of being approached by someone to state their interest in me made me queasy, to say the least. Thankfully, I never had that issue growing up as most of the other drakes in school were too busy chasing girls who didn't have a lousy pigmentation mutation such as myself.
“I'm flattered,” I told Nalek before turning to the man whose name had yet to be introduced. “May we get your name?”
“Sask.”
His response was succinct and tonally flat, though there was a brief silence as I expected him to elaborate. Nalek's beads jingled as she lashed him on the calf with her tail.
“I'm Sask, Nalek's fiancée,” he added, throwing her a look to see if she was satisfied.
Nampi gasped with her paws over her snout. “Fiancée! Nalek, you're getting married and you never even told me!”
“Well, I felt a little guilty since it technically broke our pact we made when we were pups. You remember that?”
“Of course! Why wouldn’t I? ‘Let she who bonds through betrothal first be cast out unto the world for all to admonish her!’”
Sask and I both gave inquisitive expressions. “You two spoke like that as pups?” Sask asked.
“Well, I'm paraphrasing,” Nampi admitted with a playful ear waggle. “But you get the gist.”
“Indeed, they do, sweet Nampi. Now, may I ask what you're doing bringing your avian friend here into this store on this fine claw?”
“Oh, no no, she's the one treating me! Isn't that right, Red?”
I saw her tail twitch and was sure it took restraint not to tickle my neck with it as we stood before her old friend.
“She's been a good friend,” I explained. “So I wanted to reverse the roles for once and treat her to something myself.”
Nampi skipped over to me and wrapped her arm around me, glancing back to her old friend. “See? We'd all be so lucky to have a… friend like her.”
“So I've witnessed. But perhaps you're a bit stuck, as I've seen you prancing up and down these aisles for a while, no? Maybe you don't know what you want?”
“Nalek, you know I've never been good about making my mind up.”
“Some things never change, you ditz. Tell you what: you and Sask go find us a seat and we can catch up all we'd like when we're not taking up aisle space, yes? So shoo! I'll help Hileen here pick one out for you!”
With a bored grunt, Sask made off with the goods he had strapped to himself, followed by Nampi who gave me one more playful tail flick before dashing off into the crowd. I looked back to the mottled snout of Nalek who watched her friend wander off with a wistful glance.
“She was my first, you know.”
“Your what now.”
“Love. Way back when we were growing from pups into young adults back in private education, we explored much together. We saw each other through a lot, including the less savory parts of finding a mate. When Nampi realized it wasn't the boys she was into, she turned to me, and I offered my hand as her stalwart companion… to a point.”
“You weren't interested in her the same way?”
“I'd grown up seeing her as a sister of sorts, so ultimately, when we split it off, we stayed close as friends and she never seemed to be bothered by it. She struggled to find others in school who had the same interests as herself, but she never fussed about it.”
Nalek's claws browsed over a set of pouched bandoliers made with intricate embroidering. “Have you two… spent the night together? Alone?”
Spiritually, I reeled from the inquiry. The whiplash from that question was equitable to being smacked by a human. “Wha- why? How's that pertinent to the subject at hand?”
“That sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” she purred with a smug glance my way.
I didn't need to begin to list the different ways such a question was violating to our privacy, and yet this woman was treating it like a game.
“Not really your concern, ma'am.”
Nalek chuckled as she picked out one of the bandoliers and inspected it with her claws. “I'd like to think that she and I still have that old connection, despite everything. And to that end, I know that she's no slag and doesn't trust easy. To see her be so vulnerable around you and to talk so highly of someone who's clearly below her income level as a predator…”
She stretched the bandolier out to appreciate the design in its entirety.
“Well, that's something special. Here"- she foisted the accessory into my wings as I stood gobsmacked -"this just screams her name.”
“This is, like, double my budget.”
“Love don't come cheap, darling. You wanna see good things happen, sometimes you've gotta step out of your comfort zone and grasp for it!”
“I'm being lectured by a rich woman on finances.”
“It's a philosophy that goes beyond money, ‘Red.’ The humans have a saying, in their horrendously predatory nomenclature, that contains a kernel of truth: ‘you miss every shot you don't take’.”
Yep, that's definitely a human phrase.
Nalek's steely braid rattled with every flick of the tail as we proceeded through the checkout.
“You want things to change between you and her?” she continued. “Don't just wait for it to happen.”
She let the conversation rest there as we finished the purchase, possibly to let me recuperate mentally from the damage done to my account. Outside, we found our respective partners sitting at a table with Sask looking up in boredom as Nampi chatted away, though she immediately shut up and turned to me with excited flicks of her tail as she saw what I was carrying.
I held it toward her and she happily shot to her feet, effortlessly removing the tags with her claws and clipping it to her belt. Nalek clapped and waggled her tail as the giddy lady did a whirl about to let us admire the accessory. While I'd have preferred one with pockets to give it a more practical use, I decided to let Nalek have the victory as our mutual friend clearly enjoyed it.
The rest of the paw was a blur as the two friends chatted without end until Sask eventually reminded his betrothed that they had a schedule to attend to. Though Nalek offered to call us a taxi home as a gesture of kindness, I saw through her ruse to determine that she was trying to pull a fast one on me - the clever ear flick she gave as we boarded the automated vehicle sold it for me.
We sat in the seats as the vehicle took the express ride home.
Nampi cleared her throat before she spoke, “Thank you for taking some time to spend with me, I know you've had a lot less free time as of late.”
“It's a prison of my own design, if I must be honest. A feedback loop of working a job that doesn't guarantee a paycheck to pay for rent that keeps going up, and thus needing to work more.”
The venlil giggled and chided me, “You really should've stayed in university.”
“There's a lotta 'should haves’ that've led me to this point. No use wondering what could have been.”
“There's always a use for wondering what could have been, Hileen.”
She wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
“Every decision I make, I always wonder what I could've done differently that it'd have turned out better,” she explained as she waved her free paw to the sky. “It's how you grow as a person, Red.”
Her silky pelt felt heavenly in contrast to the chilly air from outside, making it hard to let her words sink in.
“You rich types seem chock full of philosophy. I wonder if I'll become a brooding orator when I get some cash to my name.”
The cab filled with laughter as we veered around the final corner to my neighborhood, as it was the closest stop. The door popped open accompanied by a chime from the drone, signaling for me to depart.
But before my talons could even hit the pavement, I felt Nampi's scrawny arms wrap around my waist and she let out a pitiful mewl again.
“You don't need to get off here,” she told me with a pouty expression. “We can spend the rest of the paw at my place.”
“I'd love it, but I need to water my plants and get the month's bills sorted before they're due. Again.”
One claw at a time, I plucked her paws from around my waist and the childish venlil conceded, giving me another ear waggle as I departed. “I'll see you tomorrow?” I asked her.
“If you still have eyes by then, then you can bet your ass!”
“I still don't gamble.”
“You'll come around to it eventually.”
I shut the door to the taxi and watched as it carted away the one venlil who I ever truly felt on the same wavelength as. Fiddling with the lock felt like more of a chore than usual at this time as I felt a little voice tugging at the back of my head.
“You miss every shot you don't take.”
The lock felt jammed as I began to jiggle it more vigorously with the electric key. Either the RFID or NFC readers were messed up, as the lock refused to accept my key. I looked up and down the street, though Nampi was now long gone for me to rescind my earlier rejection.
“Every decision I make, I wonder what I could've done differently.”
The door rattled as I grew more and more infuriated with the lock. Qitel's smug expression as he threatened me so boldly in public played back in my head, and I wondered what would've happened had I decided to go through with insulting his mother. Better yet, I wondered what could've been had I not backed down in the face of his unflinching confidence.
Bzzt. The lock rejected my key again.
“Raagh! You fucking useless hunk of junk!”
I squawked in anger and kicked against the door, careless of the consequences of having Markol back down here to admonish another of his tenants for causing a ruckus. The walls were surprisingly sturdy for how ineffective the venlil architecture looked on the surface and I reeled back in pain as my leg throbbed.
Click.
I looked to my left to see that it wasn't my door that came open, but that of the twins. The door cracked open ever so slightly, no doubt nudged by the force of my tirade and I sighed. Nobody was expected to be home at this time, with Vili being away and Luka leaving early to get a head start.
Luka had been given a stern talking-to by the landlord for allowing one of those cats into his apartment through neglect, and I was disappointed that he seemed to have not learned his lesson this time. In fact, it seemed he hadn't even thought to lock the door this time.
I took it upon myself to shut the door for him before turning back to my own apartment door. Grasping the key with one talon, I turned it ever so gently, though the lock still refused to give in.
With a bit more force, the torsion applied to the key felt as though it should've snapped it by now. Markol sure didn't waste any expense for the security for this place, doubtlessly as a result of his history in electronic security, but I wished now that he had provided a way in that didn't rely on privately sourced locks.
Considering my options as I stood trapped outside, I realized that I had never gotten around to paying for a new lock for Tadi. I'd considered contacting her to inform her that Tac had made it out of town safely, but that'd involve also telling her that her son was now in the care of humans, as if that was a better outcome to her.
Stepping out front, I realized that there was one more option I hadn't considered: my window. I usually forgot to lock it after I was through letting air circulate and I was silently grateful to myself for this absentmindedness now more than ever. Sticking a foot on the threshold, I lifted myself in a way that'd allow me to have leverage to force the window open.
The window made me fight for every inch, but I felt a strange satisfaction as it slowly opened up into an entrance that I could squeeze my way through. I let out a sigh as my talons clicked against the cool floor and slid the window shut.
I laid my satchel on the couch and turned back to the door, ready to unleash my fury on the disobedient object. But as I reached for the lock to manually open the door, I noted that the lights on the RFID interface both flashed at once, blinking erratically. Red and green flickered without rhyme or reason, indicating that it was both active and inactive.
As pretty as the colors were, I now knew that Markol's locks were not as reliable as he had touted them about: typically, such would not occur unless the device was damaged deliberately, and yet nothing indicated that I'd had uninvited guests. One could pray that those cats didn't secretly know how to cobble together an ECM jammer, but my personal wager was on faulty equipment.
Settling in, I browsed my favorite soaps on the television. For what was intended to be a day of relaxation and show of affection for a friend, I found myself rather wound up over all the things that added up. Couples threw around flowery words and swooned over one another on screen as I felt the tension diffuse. My holopad rang and I turned it over to spot that Nampi was informing me that she'd arrived home safely.
>>> Feels empty here, all alone.
She made sure to drive the point home with a sticker of a venlil making a pouty expression.
Next time, I thought to myself, I'll get it right for you, Nampi.
[ First / Previous ]

So I have been dating this guy since December of 2023 he’s 27 I’m 24 but anyways his birthday was back in March and for his birthday I gave him $150 he recently just joined the military so I wasn’t able to do much for him besides send him money because he was in boot camp at the time. My birthday was on the 17th and he couldn’t wish me a happy birthday because he only gets his phone on Sundays. Today is Sunday and he texted me but didn’t mention my birthday or give me anything he’s just carrying on a normal conversation to me as if it doesn’t matter and before you guys ask yes we both agreed that we are exclusively dating we’ve made that clear to each other!!! I am hurt by this I haven’t said anything to him and idk what to do it definitely rubbed me the wrong way… what would you guys do in this situation??

I (30f) got married last year and my younger sister (25f) has been continuously telling everyone that is willing to listen that I'm a Bridezilla. I stand firm in my decisions and if I had to do it over I'd do it again. I was engaged for 10 years before getting married because we felt that we were too young to get married we were just getting to know ourselves much less each other but we were committed each other so we were happy with just being engaged. A little background on my sister Kate, we don't share the same father she isn't the youngest for my mother (I have another sister that follows her) but she acts like it. Ever since we were young she wanted everything I had to the point that whatever my father was taking to to give my mother for me he would just buy two so she wouldn't fight for mine (didnt work) mind you whatever her father brought for her was for her and her alone. I never gave into her tantrums even when I was a child I shared when I wanted to and ignored her when I didn't want to. I left home when I was 17 and went to live with my father bcuz her behavior never changed and I didn't want to live like that anymore. To some my life would be considered boring because I am introverted so my day to day life consists of me just going to and from work, other than the odd birthday vacation each year,I rarely go out. I do however buy nice things for myself bcuz I work hard for it and I deserve it. She complained to my mother once that I was showing off because I'm always buying my daughter (8) expensive things which I don't. As a way to teach my child the value of money she does her chores and earns her allowance which she has to save and at the end of the term she chooses what she wants to buy and if her savings isn't enough I will put the difference however because of the complaint that she made to my mother my daughter no longer wants to hang out with her cousins and I will not force her. Now to the story. Two years ago my fiance Rich and I decided to start planning our wedding but we were having issues because I'd rather elope and move on but he's so extroverted we were clashing on every decision from total guest to the wedding colours. After weeks deliberating and petty pranks (on both sides) we finally came to an agreement on the wedding colours so we decided to inform the family. My mother has a family dinner on my birthday and that's where I decided to make the announcement. My sister and her fiance were present and she jumped at the chance to beg for a double wedding and I immediately shot that down with an abrupt "No" and continued to eat my dinner. She started whining and complaining but my answer was no and I told her I had no reason to explain myself to her. When she realized that she wasn't getting anywhere with me she turns to my mother and starts complaining to which my mother told that it's my money and my wedding and I'm free to do whatever I wanted and her tantrum only got worse. In an effort to not ruin my birthday dinner my fiance explained to her that she and I had different personalities and liked different things and our friend circles were too different to even consider mixing them together but he was fighting a losing battle bcuz he wasn't equipped to handle that level of crazy. I turned to her and ask who would pay for her half of the wedding and who would buy her dresses as she is unemployed and her fiance at the time was just a trainee, she turned to me and asked me why would she have to pay for half of the wedding and at that statement I went back to eating. My fiance finally understood why my mother and I didn't even bother to explain anything further to her, he looked at her fiance and told him "I'm only getting married once so I going to do it right" and ended the conversation, she flipped out and left and her fiance had to gather her kids and ran behind her. I moved on with my wedding plans and everything was going along smoothly because money wasn't really an issue. I have a lot of family from both parents and both step parents so in order to pick bridesmaids I literally made a little lottery and picked their names out bag and I made a whole deal out of it by taking a video and sending it the various WhatsApp groups. I picked one sister (my big sister Kim) one cousin, one friend and one step sibling and we all lived happily ever after until the first rehearsal for my wedding. After the rehearsal we went to Pizza Hut and I posted a pic on my WhatsApp status of us all eating and goofing about and she messages me and ask how I'm hanging out with family and leaving her out to which I said were just hanging out after the wedding rehearsal so it's just the wedding party, she demanded to know why she wasn't chosen so I just sent her the video of my "lottery" bcuz it was so much easier than explaining it to her, she said nothing and i thought that was the end of it, I shouldve known better. When Kim went home she told my mother everything that happened at the rehearsal and how I was considering making it a child free wedding because of the chaos that happened at the rehearsal with all the kids of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, I was traumatized lol. Kate asked her if my daughter would be there to which Kim replied and said yes she's the flower girl and the conversation ended there. That day Kate sent me a 14 minute voicenote which I ignored bcuz I've said it repeatedly if you cant say it in a minute just call me I'm not listening to that and I refuse to compromise on my boundaries especially with her. Because i didn't listen to the voicenote I didn't hear all the disgusting things she called me and my child that and Rich so I went about happily until the day the invites were sent out. My wedding colours were silver, rose gold and black however the only dress code stipulation I had was NO WHITE bcuz I wanted the only one to be in white. I had a busy day at work so I didn't look at my phone much but with the few glance I took I saw that the family group was buzzing so I made sure to check it as soon as work ended and I was shocked af. My sister was telling our entire extended family that not only did I not invite her to my wedding I was lashing out at having her son as my ring bearer and that the comment I had made about the white dress was directly aimed at her because I was telling people that she was trying to ruin my wedding and the evidence that she was using was that she wasn't made a bridesmaid, Thankfully I had persons defending me. I went into her inbox to ask her to cuss her out tbh and saw the 14 min vn and decided to listen and I was dead ass fuming after the first 30 seconds so I just forwarded the vn to the family chat and I sent a screenshot of the conversation that she and I had before the vn and I let them have all the evidence. I then publicly uninvited her to the wedding and I made sure to note that it was only her that was uninvited not her sons or her fiance their invites were still valid and they were more than welcomed there. I took a screenshot of that post and every time she posted on her status or her Facebook about how evil I was I would repost it and I did that right up until the day of my wedding. I am now happily married and have moved on with my life but since the wedding she's been using the excuse of me refusing to allow her to have a double wedding with me as her reasoning for her behavior and that I was Bridezilla bcuz of that. I don't feel like I should be obligated to do anything for anyone in the name of "family"especially if said family member is an overgrown toddler. I changed the names but this is my real so she might see it but I'm fine with it as I stand by every decision I made

Okay, so long story short marriage wasn’t ideal with wife, we made a child together and I love him tremendously, but a few years in she got paranoid about me cheating (and I didn’t) there were just rumors from folks wanting a good story to tell. So she asked to move to apartment and hour or so away from our town, but when she didn’t have to work she’d be back home with the family. To keep peace and to do as she needed, I complied. I wanted my marriage to work regardless, we’ve known each other since we were kids.
So the bright side of this was we get to date each other again which is kinda fun. One weekend she’s working and staying in her apartment, she asked me to drive up and have a date after work. I’m so excited, I shower get all ready plan out how our kid can stay with a grandparent and I go. It’s a really good night, really, so I hope this isn’t too graphic but we had been arguing about adding another child to the family, and I was so happy to be with her well, not to be too graphic but I tried to do it twice and did. I didn’t care if she got the kid she wanted even though I wasn’t excited about it , I was excited that maybe this weird and awful part of my marriage was done .
Cue to a few weeks later, she seems really off, worse than usual and she doesn’t want to be in the apartment at all she’d work 14hr shifts and still drive an hour back home. But I get some exciting news, I get promoted to a new job, I’d be traveling and teaching stuff with my company. And she’s home with us most of the time which is good. The day I was to drive 4 hours to start my new work. She tells me that she’s pregnant.
After our date this didn’t sound odd at all, I wasn’t happy about the second kid but new job and training folks. I left for work.
But things get more and more odd, her first pregnancy she was so happy, just delighted to be carrying my child. So 2 months passed by but she felt like I was right our family could not sustain another kid, she mentioned abortion multiple times which was odd. But I was okay with it. But she’d go to the clinics for appointments then tell me that she couldn’t do it and she’d leave the clinic, I told her it was her choice. Anyway, things felt so wrong, I had an intrusive thought. What if it’s not mine? By this point it was 6 months.
So I probe, I dig, I naw at it, I couldn’t stop. Finally after a while she told me it may not be. I felt like death, I wanted her to go. I wanted her gone. But then she said it, she was SA one night and didn’t knows what to do. She just said the lock on her apartment broke and there was a party downstairs, she was tired from work, and one of them cat called her on the way up. I’ll spare any more gory details.
This entire event broke me as a person. Up was down, right was left. I cried balling for a whole day over what happened to my wife. But I still needed to know. I paid almost 2 grand to find out who’s kid it was all the while doing my best for her although this broke me. We got the results, it’s not mine. I spend another day weeping. But I had to explain this as I could to my parents. Because the kid woulda been mixed and we are both white.
And we live in a small town, news would spread, and is vehement that she doesn’t want folks to know she was SA’d, and before anyone chimes in with “lol naw brah” go fuck yourself, you didn’t see the fear in her eyes when she told me. She had a more successive career she coulda just left with someone else.
Anyway kid is born, and my dad told me it doesn’t matter, you love her that’s your baby, so I do that. As far as he knows I’m his only father. He’s still pretty young. But this whole ordeal broke me. I started to drink a lot. Eventually and yeah this is too long. She asked for another full separation. But still wants sex but I can date and fuck other girls I do.
But I stopped having sex with her six months ago and am ready to move on , when I’ve tried to do this before it gets ugly af, threatens to take away the kids etc, but I met someone I really like and am ready to move along. How can I do that without her going ballistic on me?

A little background: I was around 13 (oldest daughter of 3 siblings) when my parents went through a very nasty, very drawn out divorce and in the process my dad showed his true narcissist colors and very quickly became someone that I couldn’t keep in my life for the sake of my own mental health. I couldn’t keep up with the lying, the child neglect, the manipulation, the alcoholism, the apparent lack of interest or involvement in being a father to us, or the violent outbursts/emotional abuse that he displayed daily. We more or less all decided to go no-contact after a year or two, and eventually stopped holding out for any sort of apology or change in behavior.
Today we’re all adults ranging in age from 18-26, and while I hear from his mom and sister on Facebook occasionally (most recently congratulating my fiancé and I on our engagement), he’s been radio silent toward me for a little over a decade. I assumed it was nothing personal for years until my brother and sister mentioned the other day that they hear from him on birthdays and the occasional holiday, and now it’s forced me to rethink my stance. I’m not sure if I just knew too much and that’s why he pretends I don’t exist or if I’m just straight up too much like my mom for him, but fuck, it’s a shitty feeling. AIO for being so bummed out about this?

Hi everyone!
I made a post last night indicating I was new here and stumbled across this group when searching for any LP/Thranduil news for 2026. The topics being discussed in here briefly peaked my interest so I decided to stick around for a bit and just do some skimming. If what I've read is correct, it seems LP has yet to discover his true self and adjusts his personality and beliefs according to his social circle at the time, good or bad. If that is true then that is extremely unfortunate as someone who was able to portray a character such as Roy in, "The Fall", could only do so if they possessed a beautiful heart and soul. I'd like to think that side to LP is still in there somewhere laying dormant if it has been hidden away at all.
However, I cant help but wonder how much of what has been said in this subreddit is just purely gossip and speculation or perhaps has been built on an element of truth and heavily embellished to fit one's narrative. None of us actually know LP or his husband at the end of the day so I'm just confused as to why people are so invested in his private life? It was his choice to marry whom he believes is his life partner and now raise a beautiful child with them. I've never heard of MF before and I know nothing about him apart from he works in fashion (and is obviously married to LP). Granted, MF's style has clearly rubbed off onto LP and the observer in me wishes it hadn't because it just doesn't suit LP at all, especially for his age. At the end of the day, it's LP's choice to embrace whomever and whatever he chooses into his life, regardless of what the public may think. He owes us no explanation into his decisions. All he owes anyone really are fantastic performances of roles he chooses to take on for work purposes. Everything else is not of our concern, including his current and previous relationships. In my heart I truly hope he is happy because he, like all of us, deserves a full life that contains endless amounts of love and support. If he has found that, who are we to even question it? If he hasn't, well the choices were his own and now all we can do is hope that he has a network around him who can support him and bring his heart back to where it used to be.
Who knows, if he really has lost his way spiritually as many in this subreddit have suggested, perhaps the power of becoming a parent will help guide him like it did me. I had no idea who I was for the longest time and motherhood just flicked a switch inside me and now I've never been more sure of my purpose, and it's not around my child. My daughter just helped me realise so much about myself and my values in her short 4 years on this earth, she's my muse. If LP is missing that guidance, perhaps his daughter is the one to show him the way.
Anyway, this has become much longer than I anticipated. I just wanted to share a different perspective and it's your choice whether or not to think on it, keep scrolling or come for me in the comments. We all want nothing but the best for LP and his family. No family is perfect and without their hardships. I just truly hope, after reading everything in this group, that LP does in fact have the support he needs from his partner, immediate family and friends while he tries to find the balance between fatherhood and other commitments. It's not an easy road and it takes a village. And if MF is truly becoming an absent father (who actually knows this besides those in the immediate family), then the only person he's hurting is himself. That little girl is going to form bonds with those who make a genuine effort to be present. Speaking from experience here, those immediate family members in my life who didn't make the effort with my daughter she keeps at arms length or doesn't acknowledge. It doesn't affect her, just them.
We all just need to stay in our own lane as best as we can and support each other when it's needed or asked for. Speculation and gossip is poison not only for the person in question but also for the accusers. It eats at your mind and has the power to make one say and do unstable things.
Big love xx

My wife comes from a blended family where she splits major holidays between both parents (ex. Christmas, Thanksgiving) although neither parent lives in the same city. She is the youngest of her father’s kids. Her older sister has an unhealthy relationship with her. It's a mixture of attachment/bullying in my opinion. A major part of the relationship is my wife being her “little sister” although they are less than a year apart.
Every holiday her sister blows her up badgering her on when she will get to her dad’s. Although the routine has been the same the entirety of our relationship. We start at her mom’s and eventually migrate to her dad’s in the second half of the day. This past thanksgiving at her dad’s was a potluck format for which my wife was responsible for getting the drinks. Knowing she splits the holidays she tasked another family member also responsible for drinks to get enough for which she paid her. Like clockwork on the morning of thanksgiving her sister starts her routine and my wife told her more or less “I took care of the drinks but I expected this either way”. Fast forward to our arrival at her dad’s and her sister did not say a word to either one of us for the duration of our stay which was overnight and well into the following day. They did not speak for months as my wife had finally decided to stand up for herself as she had done nothing wrong.
Her sister has a birthday tripped planned in the summer that started the planning process well before thanksgiving. Around March she started weaseling her way back in with my wife as though nothing happened. We attended an event in support of another family member which her sister also attended in March. Her sister proceeded to continue to not speak to me but did converse with my wife.
Fast forward to yesterday in which we attended a birthday dinner for my wife’s step mom and her sister’s trend of not speaking to me continued. Today at brunch I let my wife know that I don’t intend to be around her dad’s side of the family in the near future as the disrespect had finally gotten to me. I had to drop the conversation because I knew it was one we could not continue without her crying which she had started to do.
I’m at a loss because asking your spouse to stand-up for you when you have done nothing wrong doesn’t seem like a tall ask. That said my wife doesn’t do well with conflict so the easier route for her would be me swallowing my feelings. I don’t let my own sisters disrespect me in this manner so it is becoming tough on me because it is exhausting wearing the mask out of love for my wife.

Hi my love. I hope you had a good Sunday. Kasberg's last day was today. (This time, lol) Not really sure what he's gonna do, but he said he's gonna stay local. He made me some of the best Chicken Cordon Bleu I've had in a long time. It was sooooo good. I'm still stuffed from earlier. Today was another boring day at work. I was there for 3.5 hours and made pretty decent money. It's nice. Except I came home and started cleaning more. But I'd rather do it now and not have to do it another day. I would have been working later anyway if it was a regular Sunday, so why not?
I am so stoked for tomorrow. It's finally Ava's birthday party at the river. I have been looking forward to it for weeks. I get to bring a fruit bowl and gummies to share, LOL. I am going to think of you soooo much. Even more than I always do. I hope I can channel a good feeling of your energy there instead of being sad the whole time and missing you so much. That's the struggle I face on a daily basis. A flip flop of extremely happy thinking of you and feeling your presence and writing to you and then super sad that I have to do it through a computer screen and that the energy is just energy and you're not here to hold me and hug me and tell me it's all gonna be ok.
My tummy is so bloated. I keep stress eating and it's nothing good. I need to go potty. I need to eat something that will help. I hate the constant yuck feeling. Maybe I should just go on a liquid diet for a few days to reset myself.
Thank you for my note this morning sweetie. 🥰 There's nothing better than seeing that to start my day. I always love the activities, but I love the notes even more. I still have every note you ever wrote to me. I read them sometimes, but it usually ends up making me cry. Sooooooo many emotions flooding over me. So many thoughts. So much everything. I miss you so much. I can't wait to write to you tomorrow. Always and forever, I love you more ❤️

Sabertooth is big and strong, has a feral cunning and some actual smarts, his healing factor is either on par with Logan’s or even more powerful (or maybe technically weaker but no adamantium to deal with) So, my question is… (and I am a fan of Sabertooth okay but…) are Creed’s claws actually claws, like a Lion’s claws or a Sabertooth Tiger’s claws? Are his hands and fingers incredibly muscular? Because I’ve seen countless debates about how Logan’s claws would or wouldn’t work or couldn’t actually retract or he couldn’t make a fist or whatever, but what about Creed? Wolverine’s bones are (usually) laced with adamantium and he heals…his (usually) metal retractable claws are roughly about 9-12 inches, depending on where you look and who you ask. So, as much as I am a fan of good old Mr. Happy Birthday, I gotta ask, how does Creed do damage? By breaking bones…? No. It’s tissue damage. He bites and claws and throws Logan around. Remember when Logan had to marry Viper in Madripoor and Sabertooth broke his claws and gored him and threw him off a cliff? That really fucked Logan up because he didn’t have the adamantium. Then there’s the flip side where you get heroic AoA Victor getting gutted and strung up by Genesis taking hits for the team buying them time, and it works because he doesn’t have the adamantium and his healing factor isn’t as strong (writers determine strength for dramatic effect) but yeah I guess I’m having like an existential crisis about the dynamic between Wolverine and Sabertooth and what makes a good story for the two of them, because everything from the Origin comic (not the OriginS movie) to Old Man Logan to the LOGAN film, AoA, and everything AFTER Logan gets his nose back…yep, less adamantium, power creep not as great, the playing field is more even, Creed is able to do more damage to Logan, but even Logan’s bone claws are WAAAAY longer and potentially more durable than what are essentially Victor’s fingernails. Sorry for the rant and ramble, but I’ve been a Wolverine fan for almost 40 years and I have NEVER questioned how dangerous and powerful and scary Victor could be…until now. I think Wolverine might actually NOT be the underdog.

Alright, to make long story short from my last no contact we both really needed closure from our fight that resulted in our break-up. We hanged out every other weekend and talked for about a month. Why we broke up was due to pettiness, ego, and pride on both sides and she was on her menstrual cycle too, I was also very confused on her antics during our relationship and didn’t communicate at all with her on how I felt about, in which resulted for a perfect storm for us to break up. Fast forward a month, she reacts to a message I sent on Instagram before we broke up with a bunny on Easter. I tell her my apology and hope she and her family were doing okay, the following week calls me drunk and all emotional about wanting to be back together and wants me to go see her calling me “babe” “I love you,” etc. We hanged out, watched the Total Eclipse, a movie the following weekend, trip to Dallas (she lives in another city not too far ((kinda far actually))😭But then, she told her father after he called her during our date in Dallas. Now I already told my mom that I was seeing her again, she didn’t say anything and really didn’t care. She told it was my choice in the end of the day. Will her Dad wasn’t too fond of her being with me and after I broke up with her. After I dropped her off I messaged her the day after because she was kinda ghosting me that night I dropped her off. She just told me that her father wasn’t too happy that she was hanging with me so she said that we shouldn’t hang out anymore and or talk all together. I totally agreed as I talked to her on the way dropping her off about how I felt and if a scenario ever happened where I got a disapproval from her family it would result to me leaving because I care for her and I don’t want them and her to be unhappy for us being together after betraying there trust with there daughter. After that, we parted ways and thanked each other for the great memories and we didn’t speak for a couple days until she messages me 2 days later “ ____ 😭😭” (fill in blank with an imaginary name) I responded with “is everything okay” and then … radio silence. For a day, then messages me with “I fell asleep” at like 9PM which she knows I’m asleep because I have to wake up at 5am. I tell to stop being dry and to spit it out. I was honestly kinda annoyed because she was just drowning me in like suspense or something so I sent her a paragraph telling her I love her and care for her but it’s best for us to go no contact. AND… was left on delivered again. Now to current events, sorry the ‘ prologue’ was not “long story short.”💀
Fast forward two weeks later. It was ruff on not only me but her too. I honestly was really depressed and honestly praying to god for another chance and will, he delivered. On Thursday I took a nap of misery and told god for her to message me and give me on last time with her. Waking up at 12am all sweaty, stinky breath, thirsty as hell, I check my phone and I see a notification from her. My first thought was “my prayer was actually answered.” She just said if we could talk and how she wasn’t really handing our break up #2? She stated her dad got drunk and just told her he wasn’t mad about hanging out with me but not telling him she was hanging out with me. I told her that I was honestly really depressed and wanted her back in my life because I can’t see myself with someone else. We accepted that we will AGAIN rekindle our “friendship” (seeking to rebuild our relationship back but slow and exclusive) but here’s what’s troubling me now.
She’s being all shallow and ghosting me for hours sometimes even days. I can’t process her telling me she’s “not doing so good” without me but ends up ghosting me or being dry at times and honestly it’s bringing me the assumption she doesn’t really miss me but just likes the company and the attention. It’s very frustrating that she comes back to my life, twists the knife even deeper and then puts little effort in trying to fix it (I thought I did something there😭🔥) But Yha, this is my biggest struggle by far right now with her. And this isn’t new, after our first initial no contact she was the same, ghosting me being dry as the savannah desert, and now. So what do you guys think if someone even read this far😭 if you did, ummm… I’ll pray for you tonight🥹 anyways have a great day people of Reddit🫡