I apologize for the sheer wall of text but maybe this will be good cathartic Sunday reading? It helps a lot to write it out. I am a 49M widower, three years out of losing my wife (48F), father of three adult kids. Last year I felt I was ready to find love again, and joined a dating app. Very quickly I matched with Lexi (47F, not her real name) and was smitten right away. We were together seven months.
I am in the tech and startup space in my city and she had just moved from the opposite coast with a tech background and two exits. In fact, she swiped on me because we had just connected by email two weeks earlier because she was looking to join the startup scene in her new home.
She was so accomplished and warm and smart. She was into Buddhism and spoke much of the language of my childhood in terms of peace and joy. We had so much in common. We quickly talked about cofounding a startup, I loved her own dreams for the future, she was supportive of mine. We were honest and vulnerable and despite feeling utterly naive and awkward it felt great.
It was also complicated. She had been married twice before, the most recent physically abusive and prompting her cross-country escape with her two sons. She was self-aware enough to know she was dealing with the trauma and I was wholeheartedly supportive. Practical things like helping her finish all the paperwork for her divorce or keeping a distance so as not to upset her kids made sense.
But over time and sometimes with great pain we would run into triggers and need to break and reset. Our attempts to do something together were too hard because she would fear losing control—which made sense. She was terrified of not having support in a new city and I made sure to be available to her as much as possible—down to reserving certain hours every day to be with her. She asked me to move into her building, then panicked because her sons might see me, so I moved into the building next door.
I loved her so much and wanted to do everything to keep her happy or at least feeling safe. Maybe my years as a caretaker to my late wife conditioned me in this way. But Lexi and I knew we both were in complex places in our lives and tried hard to navigate things. She read about dating a widower, I read about PTSD and ASD—something she felt explained a lot going back to childhood, from sensory sensitivity to difficulty reading nuance in social situations. As an awkward guy myself, I was empathetic.
We co-developed a shared document that basically helped us avoid landmines. When our daily time together would be. Where to park so she wouldn’t notice if I wasn’t home. Boundaries to protect her kids—which did feel like we were sneaking around and would fill her with guilt. She loved to cook and had specific dietary preferences and I adopted the same diet (and still stick to it, mostly, because it did improve my health). She said she felt safer the more of my face she could see, so I changed my glasses and shaved my facial hair. She was afraid of getting pregnant so I got my long-planned vasectomy.
And this all sound crazy, but I was happy to do it, and she seemed to be trying hard, too. She adopted ASD coping strategies, we put reminders around our respective homes, she even put my photo on her wall as part of a ranked list of priorities… though I think I came after her boys and her dogs. (I’m a cat person but loved her dogs, dogsat her dogs, and the regular walks were a main way we spent time together, even when things were rocky.) More articles and books, personality tests, studying results to find paths forward. She had a science background so did find some comfort in analyzing us.
The biggest trigger was that I would sometimes travel out of town. I work remotely so it wasn’t hard to just stay put. But before we met I’d planned to go to a big concert in LA with my daughter, and couldn’t not go. That one weekend trip was the biggest hurdle we faced. I even paid for therapy for her and kept my promise to keep in constant touch—but it caused a two-week break, and a lot of anguish thereafter. She felt abandoned even as I showed in every way that I was committed. A couple of times she had panic attacks and curled into a ball while we were out and about. Once she ran from me, genuinely afraid of me, when I had gotten frustrated and made a sarcastic remark.
Because of her past abuse, the physical side of our relationship was also tricky. There were rules here, too, but as a middle-aged effective virgin, I was still into it. I’d only had one serious partner in my life, so everything was new and amazing… but for it to also be a hot-cold-voracious-guilt rollercoaster was… confusing. A few times I would be strong enough to say, “If this is too hard, we could just be friends.” But THAT was, as you might imagine, another huge threat to her sense of safety.
Until after seven intense months she concluded the same. We pledged—via email, because by then even text messages were too intense for her—to be good, single friends. Walks, hikes, movies. Love you always. Then no contact for four months. She mailed my keys back to me.
Of course, I still lived next door, and ran into her maybe four times during that span. She seemed stricken a couple of times, and would not speak, not really look up, and twice crossed the street to avoid me. Her dogs were happy to see me, which made it especially awkward. I tell you, I felt like the worst person on earth, a man who failed to be a good partner and caretaker when I thought that was a strength. I was worried that I made her PTSD worse, that she was a wreck, hiding from the world...
Until three weeks ago, our anniversary. She texted out of the blue and apologized for causing me pain and wanted to be friends. I could have fainted dead. We met up for lunch.
She was glowing. She was so happy. Her sons were now both adults (younger one just turned 18) and she decided they would be just fine, and feeling liberated. She wasn’t ASD (!!!), it was just PTSD. She had started a graduate program to become a therapist (something we discussed), happy to both be able to tap her experiences to help others and to have the chance to practice with herself and classmates. She turned her love of cooking into selling her stuff at a local market (something we discussed). gave up her diet because it made it hard to date. And she’d been dating. And had a boyfriend who was taking her out of town for a week. I immediately saw the brilliant woman I first met, and was frankly gutted. I was happy she was happy, but I was crushed that she got where she is AFTER me, not WITH me.
My friends tell me she was genuinely troubled and that PTSD doesn’t just vanish in a few months. That she was wearing a mask with me, and that this new boyfriend—with whom she also has amazing commonalities—is getting the same “mimic” behavior. That, if anything, her wanting to reconnect means she’s looking to assuage guilt or regain a part of her still critical support system. That I turned myself inside out for her, and the most important question to ask myself is whether I should be as open to being friends as I am.
I made a lot of changes in my life for her, many positive, many that still persist. I am trying to date again. I feel like it would be a waste to go through what we did and NOT be friends. But I definitely went through the wringer and I feel like I've been thrown off my axis with her turnaround. I believe in therapy and am going to work on this. But I’d value an objective take.
TDLR; First relationship as a widower was to an amazing but complex woman was very fraught and fell apart. After no contact for four months she asked to meet up, and she was glowing and normal and I’m shook. Was it bad timing and I missed my chance, or is she maybe not really okay? And can we still be friends?

Hello, I just graduated from Ohio State University a few weeks ago with a bachelor in science in public health. I’ve been accepted to study at NYU for an MPA in health policy, which would be my dream. My only issue is that my total in loans after the program would be around $100k, which is scary. There is the opportunity for public service loan forgiveness, however I am not sure about how likely.
The reason I am writing today is to get some insight from people who have “been there done that” and can hopefully give me some advice about what moves to make now that I’m graduated.
I am a bit lost in the job search strategy and am not super sure where to be looking and what to apply for. I have good experiences working in policy and healthcare disparities research, and would like to work in health equity, specifically racially. I am not finding many opportunities in these areas, but have only really been looking on Linkdin and Handshake through OSU. I am starting to think that I should say no to NYU and find a job before going to graduate school, but am worried about saying no to such an amazing opportunity.
I have found many opportunities on some public health organizations in NYC, however they have a residency requirement that I do not qualify for living in Ohio.
Does anyone have any advice about going to grad school right out of the gate of undergrad, or would recommend working first? If working first, does anyone have any recommendations for places to search for public health careers ideally in NYC or Columbus Ohio? I am pretty stressed trying to find a good career opportunity that doesn’t require 3-5+ years of work experience.

First off, feel free to comment about your own experiences. I would love it if anybody can relate. I'm also open to questions, advice, whatever you wanna write. This is gonna be a bit longer, just fyi. Excuse lack of proper chronological order and maybe some wonky sentences, English isn't my first language.
I was parentified.
For context, my mother has three children, I'm the youngest one, then there's my older half-brother (30) and my older half-sister (36). Their father was a violent alcoholic with schizophrenic tendencies (official diagnosis), luckily I never met him. I refer to them as brother and sister. I'm 21 now. I'm the only child of my mom and my dad, my dad has three other kids who are in the same age group as my maternal siblings. Lots of history with divorces and family fights, I'm the center of a complete patchwork family, everybody moved towns a lot, it's all a bit messy and disorganized.
My mother has severe borderline disorder and has massive trauma from several age stages, especially involving men. She was heavily parentified and yet socially cast out by her family herself. I don't remember a time where I didn't act like her father, emotionally. This is made worse by the fact that I'm trans so I was like her bestie before I began socially transitioning in my early teen years. Of course, this was a massive issue for her. She told me she had only ever wanted daughters. Materially she was taking care of things until I was about 11 - walked me to school and took care of the household, used to work, everything.
I remember sitting next to her during a talk/fight she had with my dad while she was sobbing, I can't have been older than 3 or 4. They got divorced around that time. As I grew older, I came to be my mom's sole emotional support person. We had moved to an isolated village with my step-father and she developed a severe agoraphobia for some time. My step-father avoided all emotionality with both her and me and therefore I was now her only friend. I overheard conversations that she shouldn't be having with her child next door and was told about her most severe fears and traumas from a young age. I was lashed out at on a near daily basis and punishment came unexpectedly. It would consist of being screamed at for minutes on end until I would cry and hyperventilate, but she wouldn't stop then.
In spite of her idea of punishment and raising children, she was incredibly attached to me, still is. This would include massive anxiety fits when she didn't know where I was or when I was getting into activities she didn't approve of. One time, when I was about 17, I went to a party in my friend's basement. She knew about this and approved it, knew my friends and where they lived. I didn't have any signal in that basenent so she couldn't reach me. She proceeded to look up my other friends' parents' phone number and call them to contact me. There was nothing she wanted except to know that I had arrived there.
Whereas my other siblings had long left the household years apart from eachother, both with specific and complex fights and banging doors and screaming fits, I was, as the youngest child, turned into a confessional and a therapist. I would mediate fights from a young age. I witnessed physical violence between my brother, my mother and my sister. My brother was the perpetrator for the most part (however, I was neither hurt nor threatened myself). Nobody proceeded to remove me from the situation or stop me from getting involved. From then on, every fight and every drama caused me intense bouts of anxiety and it, to this day, remains to be the only thing that makes me cry and/or lash out.
In a household full of anger, my anger was not tolerated. I was raised with some old-timey sort of black paedagogy (I'm German so it is something of a generational curse for some): I was to have unwavering respect for my parents, I was expected to be obedient, "let him cry it out" type stuff. At least when I was a younger child. When I got older, my emotions did not matter either. After stressful situations or fights that I proceeded to witness for most of my life, nobody ever asked me how I felt or explained to me what had actually gone down. I was left alone while not being left alone at all.
If I failed to provide emotional security for my mother or even attempted to call her out, I was made to feel immensely guilty. This could range from her crying/yelling things like "Why is it always me that must suffer" to guilt-tripping texts and blocking my contact for a while to very action-based suicide threats, depending on the situation. Her emotions were forced to be my emotions if I wanted to "stay alive".
At the same time, I still proceeded to excel in school. I felt like dying but nobody, and I tell you, nobody, noticed. I was a teacher's pet, I still had some loose friendships, I visited my dad once a month or more ever since my parents divorced. Nobody realized what I felt. I felt alone and had the worst depressive episode of my life when I was 13. I neglected personal hygiene. I never opened up to my father for many years. To this day I think he doesn't know everything. Especially during covid, him and my ex-stepmother were my safe space. When I first opened up to them, they welcomed me with open arms, my father was very strict and cold when I was young, but he softened, changed, and is everything and more I could ask for in a father. He is among the most positive examples of masculinity and especially of fatherhood that I know in my circles. He sends me postcards several times a month, wants me to visit, hugs me and tells me he loves me and that he's proud, gives me space. The dad who remembers the names of our childhood stuffed animals. Literally. I love him to death. He was also the only parent who engaged in activities with me and would play with me, later on take me to the movies, go to bars and restaurants, go to museums with me etc.
My mother got worse both psychologically and physically, she is chronically ill and needs immense support in a lot of things now. For about a year, my stepfather worked in a town far away and only came home during the weekends. This was during covid. Within a year, I developed a hatred so deep for my mother that I had thoughts that scared me. I took care of our pets and the household, was not allowed to get into any activities after school other than coming home and spent hours after my day listening to her rants, anxieties, fears. I get hateful goosebumps when I remember the way she used to call my name when she wanted me to do something for her. Sometimes she would make me stay awake for longer, knowing that I had to get up at 6am again. It was usually already around 12 at night. She wanted me to walk the dog before SHE went to bed because otherwise it would ruin her otherwise horribly insomniac circadian rhythm. Therefore I was not allowed to go to sleep. At that point she had not worked for more than 6 years and stayed home all the time. My stepfather and I did grocery shopping. She rarely ever leaves the house if she can avoid it. This was during the German version of my GCSE's.
I was denied medical care that could have potentially fixed my posture issues and other orthopedic issues. My mother deemed physiotherapy as inefficient and got mad when I asked her about it again. Money was always an issue. We were evicted once. I was denied certain things and never asked for extra cash because we ran low on money, my stepfather was blamed for smoking and consuming a lot of meat (which indeed is pricy), but my mother never reflected on her online shopping addiction and I'm aware that she is in an ongoing debt. Has been for years now.
Things got a bit better when my stepfather moved back and Covid cleared up somewhat. Regardless, I used pure spite to continue studying hard while they were yelling at eachother from the top of their lungs for hours on end and did the best I could to get the hell out of there. I've had therapy with several years' of breaks for a total of nearly 3 years now, that I partially applied for myself and I'm working on tackling everything. I live in a different city, studying subjects that I love. I get all my shit done, for the most part, I know how to do paperwork and know how all of the chores work. I can regulate myself in terms of sleep and food and cheap thrills. I have a (milder) case of anxiety. I keep meaningful friendships in which I find myself capable of avoiding all the harmful behaviors and attitudes I was taught. I'm learning to stand my ground and take responsibility for my own decisions and actions.
When I establish my boundaries with her now, she turns into some sort of anxious-attached mess. She over-apologizes to me. She puts me on a pedestal and I'm living a life that she is jealous of. She is intensely attached to me and considers me her favorite child and also hasn't properly gotten over my father, over 15 years of them being divorced. She will do anything to support me materially and then tear me down emotionally. Everything I tell her is followed by her mourning the life she doesn't have and never had instead of properly celebrating with me. She gets noticeably sad when I refuse to give her my full attention, she yearns for what she considered a deep and important relationship to me. But it was all just emotional neglect and emotional abuse. Now I sometimes can't help but meet her with the same attitude she gave me.
This is not perfectly chronological and all over the place. I have complicated relationships with my siblings and other relatives, which I don't mourn, but feel guilty about. My father and I are very good with eachother although I need to confront him about some things as well. With my mother I do the bare minimum to avoid conflict, yet without throwing my sense of self out of the window again. She is the only human who can easily cause anxiety attacks in me, no matter where or when. I sometimes wish I was not in contact with her. I have a tendency for smoking too much weed and being just a bit too careless with other drugs (although I rarely do those in comparison), but I also try and regulate this heavily (e.g. not finding a dealer but asking friends every once in a while etcetc). I think this stems from these experiences. Apart from that, I think I'm coping very well.
To everybody: it does get better. It does. Even when your emotions are a rollercoaster sometimes. You will be in a different place, maybe you already are, and you'll escape from these structures. I think the hardest pill for me to swallow is that I create my own reality and that nobody will give me my stolen childhood back. I am an (albeit young) adult now and I must do everything I can to avoid becoming like her. Her life is not a life I want to lead. There's hope and you won't always be in this place.

So, did you manage to count all the re-cycled elements from Steven Moffat's first Doctor Who 2-parter The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances all the way back in May 2005 in Saturdays episode Blow - I mean, Boom...?
Did we have the Gas-Mask kid - no. We did not. But the main villain of the piece is indeed a combat ambulance, we have a kid - this time a little girl - searching (this time) for her Daddy who's been converted into something approximating what he originally was but not quite the original thing and the whole episode rests around a situation wherein everything's about to be blown to smithereens at any moment due to a bomb being on pause.
Oh yes, and the Doctor ends up dancing.
I'm a huge fan of Steven Moffat but, to be perfectly honest, Boom came across more a reject from the Droste Effect meta that became both the raison d'être and ongoing motif of his tenure as showrunner throughout his Matt Smith/Peter Capaldi era.
I got the gag right off the bat: Doctor Who instilled in this guy, at a very young age - that of Amy actually when 11 first meets her (a Scottish boy character would too on-the-nose and nowhere near as pretty to work with) - the urge to write, and I understand that: this fucking show got me at about the same age too.
So, when Steven Moffat gets his chance to write his own version of this thing, it's not just going to be a bunch of stories loosely strung together: this is going to be his dissertation on both the art of TV writing, as well as a history of Doctor Who.
If you want a free and actually very, very good course on both creative screenwriting as well as a crackingly good discourse on the art of writing Doctor Who - Steven Moffat's go as showrunner is an actually very, very witty, cleverly constructed and seriously well written Open University course in creative writing: he takes you through everything, the key core concepts being that writers - not just Doctor Who writers, but writers don't originate anything: they recycle.
The put it in the clearest terms, the screenwriter is The Silence: they don't originate anything, what they do is take whatever's already been done, chop it up into smaller bits and then tell an entirely different story to the "original" by simply moving the bits around to bring about a different outcome.
And you see this used over and over - the same motifs, the same story elements refused, often reversed from the original, and used as the basis of a new story effecting a different outcome, thus:
Say in the case of The Silence) (for example) you have a highly secretive religious order who go around manipulating everything to effect a history they want to replace another yet - at the same time - excise and remove all memory and trace of themselves from reality - whereas, when we come to Peter Capaldi's run we have The Monks who basically do exactly the opposite - they set out to write themselves into history making humanity believe they've always been there helping when, if fact the exact opposite is true...
But it doesn't just stop there: go back all the way to the Bill Hartnell era and the Peter Butterworth character The (Meddling Monk) - the idea of meddling Monks in the fabric of Doctor Who has its genesis far, far earlier - and The Silence too - go back to the David Tennant story Silence in The Library/Forrest of The Dead: Donna finds herself trapped in a virtual ream governed by a dapper suited Dr Moon who, the moment reality begins to creep in, just appears out of nowhere, gives you a "rational" reason why whatever glitch isn't important - and then, you forgot....
But even this has its roots in far, far earlier Doctor Who stories: the Mind Robber), The Land of Fiction - Moffat is perfectly candid about the fact he's not just simply a screenwriter, he's an incredible geek about Doctor Who - and he doesn't go to these lengths just for your benefit, this - his version of the show - is his oeuvre - he's not just a fan, he's a cleaver, cleaver bastard, and he never gets tired of letting you know that.
And so it goes on: Moffats take on the show is a meta involving his entire approach to both being a writer, the act of writing as well as knowing his stuff concerning the show - and, as you go through it, it's a joy to peel back the layers of exactly how many levels Steven Moffat likes to hold forth - confidently - about stuff he really does actually know a fuck of a lot about...
But here, in the context of the current show - this isn't what Moffats doing: he did all that, if you want to go back and stick your head inside Steven Moffats - by all means, go back and watch his version of Doctor Who.
Boom, however, is none of the above things, is just plain lazy: this is something he could have written with one hand tied behind his back and his eyes shut - and I wouldn't put it past him to have approached it that way were it not physically impossible for him to actually have done it.
This has all the superficial gloss of being a cleaver sci-fi concept - and. lest we not forget, the Villenguard Algorithm actually exists, if you're an NHS patient the acceptable cost of your long-term treatment is pre-determined and capped, controlled by an algorithm that just does the maths and decides to pull the plug after spending has reached a certain point: this is a real life thing, Steven Moffat hasn't made it up he's just become aware of it enough to feel as outraged as any right thinking person should - but, that's a different debate.
The point is Boom really is - for a fuck cleaver guy who never gets tired of pressing home how incredible cleaver he is - is a pretty lazy rehash of something he actually wrote far better, probably around 20 years ago.
Maybe that's the point - maybe this is a measure of the distance travelled and lessons learned: were this penned by anyone else, their parents would rightly (and proudly) give a copy pride of place magneted to the fridge - but this is Steven Moffat...
He actually does know better and he's ignoring it.
For Steven Moffat this really was going through the motions at turning in an original script - nice to see Davis's "snow" - and Ruby - are properly established as this season's Bad Wolf - but even this really is sticking to tried and tested crowd pleasing ground even on Russel's part.
Boom lacks, for want of a better word - everything that made Steven Moffat penned story the treasure it once used to be - I know the extended 5 years of the bugger running the show would drain anyone - but this was a rehash plain and simply just to have something to turn in.
Moffat wasn't trying here - he was coasting and, really, it shows. Great job on Russel's part pulling the show back from the brink BBC Studios had happily let the show slide perilously close to going over as far as domestic audiences were concerned - but I'm not seeing anything here that wasn't done better 20 years ago: and frankly it lacked any of the spark that actually made the show good when it first came back.
A few nifty tricks - the whole body thing - "Sharp scratch" - this is a guy who's been to the hospital more than he would otherwise like the past few years - you hit a certain age, I've been there.
But this was more a dud than an explosion - perhaps I should have tempered my expectations, but when the name Steven Moffat is attached to something - it should at least sparkle, and this wasn't even a sparkler.
Just a dud that didn't go off.
8/10 if it were written by anyone else - coming from Steven Moffat, however - I'm being generous with a 6/10.
I watched it, probably never going to go back.

Seemingly unpopular opinion?
So as someone who loves to write and has been writing their whole life, I feel like I have a very unpopular opinion here but I wanted to give my two cents.
I love testing new writing skills and types of writing, I've written in 1st person, 2nd person, and 3rd person, across multiple genres. Something I've come to believe when doing so is that sometimes writing tips are only tips if they FIT your writing and what you wish to present to the reader.
For example, all of the pins on pinterest and things saying "don't use this word, instead use this when writing" MAY NOT APPLY TO YOU OR YOUR WRITING. I like to make my characters and their personalities show from multiple sources of the story. If it's first person, I like to write it how I believe that character would write it themself. If my character is a 16 year old boy I fucking doubt that he's going to be using words like "sorrowful".
Now, as stated before, that changes depending on how you wish to convey your story and how you write as a whole. I think that sometimes those tips CAN be very useful, I have a whole board for it. However I think that something a lot of writers need to keep in mind is that sometimes other writers INTEND to use "informal" language or grammar. Or especially during dialouge there may be an intentional fuck up that was placed there to show you more of a character and how that character acts.
So if I am writing from the perspective of a younger person in "normal" circumstances, then I am most likely going to use more informal writing techniques. Though if I'm writing from 3rd person or from an older, more formal person's perspective then it would be stupid not to write it formally.
Not to mention it also changes how serious or not a scene is presented to the reader. If you are showing a scene that's meant to be more light-hearted or silly then by all means use informal words and less serious phrases. Though make sure to make it more formal and serious when you have to start building that tension again.
So to summarize; write in order to convey the world YOU want to show. Show it how you think it SHOULD be conveyed. Don't worry so much about your writing feeling childish or messy because if you truly wrote it how you want it to be written then it is the best that the story will be, and that means that you did well. I think not a lot of people remember that not all stories are supposed to be read like a Shakespeare play. As long as YOU are proud of it, that's all that matters.

Had a (double) full circle moment with a family member while I got to 💨 and listen to it for the first time. And wow… mind blowing to say the least. I got emotional the first time to Lunch. That’s because it’s such a win for lesbian, bisexual, and queer people who love women imo. And my family member is a sapphic while I’m bi. Super sentimental for a lot of reasons.
Then my tears fell to Birds of a Feather. What a way to express such a relationship with another person. It’s beautiful to put it lightly. I can’t wait to send it to my partner. That’s a definitely a song I relate to deeply so immediately.
And now Th Greatest is getting to me as I write this. Musically for now even while I’m under an influence and can’t fully comprehend the lyrics. I’ll see myself to it. And those pipes! Good God, Billie is a talent of our generation. Even if I’m not a diehard fan, it’s a hill I will die on. That’s all.
(If you read through all this, forgive any room for misunderstanding. I not only 💨 🍃 but I’m ND too. Disclaimer I guess.)

ratemypoo is an absolute JOKE. How is one supposed to accurately rate a poo merely by the picture of it? Does a candle connoisseur judge a candle based on it's appearance alone, without giving it a sniff? Does a food critic write their review purely on the merit of the aesthetic of the plating of the dish, without tasting? Does a sculptor select clay for what is to be a priceless piece of art without first feeling its texture and density? No. So how am I ever to fairly "rate your poo" if I do not experience your poo with a variety of senses. Just going off a picture I will miss out on many things about your poo: the nutty and oaky hints in it's scent. I would never know its sweet flavor, yet acidic after taste. I would miss your poos sticky, almost stretchy texture. I would miss all of those qualities in your poo, and countless other subtleties invisible to the eye. All I would have to go off of is the picture of it floating cheerlessly in it's porcelain pool, waiting to be mercilessly whisped into the unknown of the pipes. How am I supposed to feel good giving such a soulless, uninformed rating of your poo?

Hello all, I'm a younger guy looking to get in with the city as an Operator in the wastewater plant. However, there are two different positions and I'm not sure what the differences are. Maybe someone can explain. I should mention I have 0 experience working with wastewater or public utilities, but have worked seasonally for the city last year so I have a foot in the door. So I'm not sure which would be a better fit. The water reclamation position has a higher salary range and pay more to start, but looks to have more responsibilities.
First position: "Water Reclamation Facility Operator I"
TYPICAL DUTIES:

• Takes readings and records all gauges, meters, and indicators of water, gas and power flow. Makes required adjustments as directed.
• Keeps the facility clean and in top operating condition. Makes minor repairs and adjustments to equipment or circuits as directed.
• Operates chemical feeding equipment and other mechanical equipment such as pumps, blowers, compressors, chlorinators, digesters, and emergency generators. Identifies and reports operational and equipment issues to supervisor.
• Checks all mechanisms in process including but not limited pumps, filters, digesters, aerators, screens, rag rakes, grit chambers, compressors, blowers, boilers, generators, chemical feed systems, basins, clarifiers, thickeners, methane gas systems, augers, and associated equipment.
• May perform duties of a general maintenance worker. May service, repair and replace various types of electrical and mechanical equipment.
• Performs routine sampling and testing relative to processes as directed. Calculates dosage and flow rates. Makes appropriate adjustments based on results.
• Operates various types of heavy equipment, as qualified, including front-end loader, vactor trucks, and forklifts. This may be an assigned duty to select individuals.
• Assists in the handling and transporting of biosolids, as well as handling and transporting of materials associated with wastewater treatment.
• Uses computer to input and retrieve data and to monitor facility processes.
• Maintains facility security. Operates and monitors CCTV system. Notifies law enforcement of security issues as necessary.
• Observes camera monitor; confronts unauthorized persons. Notifies law enforcement as necessary.
• Ability to make general process calculations, keep accurate records and prepare reports.
• Follow operational and safety procedures involving a wide array of wastewater treatment equipment.
• Establish and maintain effective working relationships with supervisors, colleagues and the public.
• Performs other duties as assigned.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS:

• High school diploma or equivalent.
• Ability to apply knowledge, skills, and understanding of basic principles of math, chemistry, mechanics, and general science.
• Ability to obtain and maintain a Grade II Wastewater Treatment Certification from the State of Utah within 18 months of hire.
• Ability to perform occasional heavy lifting; inspect operation of equipment; detect and repair problem situations; understand and follow oral and written instructions.
• Possession of a valid driver’s license or Utah driving privilege card.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Second Position: "Wastewater Plant Maintenance Operator I"
TYPICAL DUTIES:

• Under supervision, does entry-level to routine semi-skilled level work in inspecting and servicing pumps, motors, compressors, lifts, hoists and related equipment.
• Assists with installing and removing equipment, repairing broken parts and performing preventive maintenance. Makes minor repairs and may complete work orders.
• Operates equipment and hand or power tools. Performs preparation and cleanup tasks.
• Performs grounds maintenance; may adjust and repair sprinkling systems Washes walls, paints, cleans, and may make deliveries and pick up supplies from vendors.
• Under supervision, may begin training on heavy equipment, including loaders and 10-wheel dump trucks.
• Performs other duties as assigned.

MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS:

• High school diploma or GED equivalent.
• Ability to read, write and follow written and oral instructions.
• Some knowledge of methods, tools and materials used in general maintenance and repair work.
• Ability to operate various hand and power tools.
• Possession of valid state driver’s license or Utah driving privilege card.

Desired: Class A or B license
I'll probably apply to both but maybe someone here can differentiate what I'd be doing and the expectations between the two? The waste-water (second one) seems more manual labor heavy, and desires but doesn't require a CDL? Any advice would be great.

Hi there this is my first post ever and Though this happened a few years a go I feel like i need to write this out for cathartic reasons . so apologies if this is confusing and goes back and forth .
Background : me (28 F) and my S/o , let call him John(29M), have been together 11 years this October, being some what high school sweet hearts we have gone through most and if not all of our major moments in our 20s and now entering our 30s . When we first got together i was fully aware John and His mother dont always get along. And thats putting in nicely . In reality they get in to Full screaming and cussing fits. These can be started from a simple discussion, think "what color is the sky?" and the most unhinged argument would start. MIL is a divorced, awful narcissist who gaslights John and mentally and emotionally abuses both John and his sister , my SIL , we will call her Kelly. My SIL Kelly is also just as bad and if not worse than my MIL in some ways . In the past i tried very desperately to get them to get a long and bury the hatchet , my MIL and SIL would loudly talk about how they loved me and appreciated me and my MIL started calling me her DIL almost 3 months in tot he relationship. (Probbaly Red Flag #12 but i was young and was brought up being told its the most important thing to have your S/O family like you and you do what ever your S/O family ask of you .) Now my SIL being possibly worse than my MIL would be her anger issues on top of her own narcissistic and gaslighting behavior modeled after her mother .SIL also has 3 children by 3 different men, never married and has protection orders agaisst all these men, and dragged all of them to and from court in the same fashion as MIL divorced John and Kelly Father .Also as she had the relationship end with her first Babby daddy we inherited her dog as she couldnt keep him and he is now OUR dog has he as lived with us for almost 8 years now, he is our dog as i pay for his food and all vet needs, he is 100% a house dog and lives happily with all of us and his dog sissters . Over time both MIL and SIL obviously became comfortable and thats when i started seeing their disturbing behavior towards John and his Grandma then later to myself . MIL and SIL have abused Grandma by using her as free child care (Gma is 80) and would berate her and use the Kids against her, if Gma did anything SIL didnt like . By using the kids i mean SIL would send long text messages telling Gma she the worst and worthless, bringing her to Tears and she is banned from seeing the children untill SIL decided shes no longer upset or had no other options . As of Current she is still banded from seeing her grandchildren and we have no idea what she needs to apologize for. Next we escalated to being screamed and kicked out of Christmas Dinner , my MIL stelaing $2,500 from Johns Saving account and stealing Gmas credit card info to use on Amazon orders to just show a few more examples.
Now back ground about story in question: Myself and John found i was pregnant when we were 19 at the time we decided to terminate the pregnancy as we both heavy believe in having children only when we are economically comfortable enough to do so and both agreeing that being so young this was not the time to do this. We both strictly believe in this as we have had many family members pop out children with out any though and that disturbs both of us. Then Going to Plan Parenthood i was told i had an ectopic pregnancy and they then was rushed me to the hospital to schedule my termination . Understand this was a very scary situation for myself as i was told one of my ovaries could be removed and due to the placement fluid was building up and stuck near my hip that caused my to start losing feeling in my leg , but the surgery was scheduled for the next day . Thankfully I had some Great doctors and both my own family and John overwhelmingly supported me during all of this and i didnt have to lose an ovaries . Yay! Now i am actually a pretty private person when it comes to my heath and due to feeling some misplaced embarrassment and shame i asked John to no speak to his mother about this i wanted to keep this between us . He agreed though obviously this was stressful and devastating to us at one point he did confide in his mom for support . At the time i was pretty furious at this but understood that as my family knew and gave us all the support we could ask for i understood he did long for his own mothers support . At the time she was extremally understanding and supportive and was everything John needed emotionally at the time and she respectfully gave me space and didnt bring up any questions. I deeply appreciated this at the time as it was what i needed.
Fast forward to the day in Question: 2020
It was a bad day for me , i was very sick dealing with ,at the time, an undiagnosed Gallbladder disorder that caused sever vomiting and abdominal pain that wasn't corrected untill late 2022, and i went home early with an hour dive back to the home myself and john share with his Gma. When i arrived home SIL and MIL with the kids were at the house just visiting . During this SIL keep speaking about OUR (Myself and Johns Dog ) still being hers. During a moment i was unable to hold my tongue and said something along the lines "well he isnt your dog thats why ." she then screams "YOU BITCH!" in our home in front of the kids . I then promptly and calmly told her " You can leave now . " she then continued to cuss me out but i had blocked most of that out as none of that needed to escalate or be said in front of the kids .At this Point john was also loudly telling both MIL and SIL the leave and they will not speak like that in the house . We were then told we couldnt tell them what to do as it was Gmas home and now ours . I looked and Gma and as she went to say something MIL started screaming at her telling her to "Shut up and mind her business" By this point the argument then escalated to a point of SIL taking the kids out of the house telling us we "are wothless and we could all fuck off ". MIL was still yelling and i couldnt tell you what but then as i loudly told MIL that their behavior was unacceptable and they needed to leave our hosue and SIL behavior infront of the kids was also Unacceptable in this home and since we all live under the same roof we have just as much say in the home as Gma. MIL then proceeded to say "How would you know how to take care of children !" you got rid if yours !' It took everything in my body to not jump over the living room sofa and beat the ever loving shit out of her. I did take a step forward and said "Do you want to repeat that ?" she looked at me in horror, not because of what she said but because she probably saw the rage in my eyes and i was not acting my "normal submissive self " with her so she was not prepared for my response . John then proceeded to tell her to "Get the Fuck out of this house ! How dare she and she was no longer welcome in the home. I couldnt really tell you what i was saying at that time or if i said anything at all after that as i was in a blind rage . She stormed out of the home and slammed our front door. funny part was they left the kids water bottles so she had to come back and knock on the door to get them back. I opened the door tossed them at her and slammed the door so hard in her face the entire front door area shook and almost dropped some frames off the wall.
I apologized to gma as i know i should of held my tonge when they were over but i just couldnt . She told me to not aologize and she is so ashamed of both MIL and SIL behavior and she didnt even know what to say or do to make me feel better. At this time i was unaware i was shaking violently and and tears just free flowing out of my eyes . Both Gma and John did everything they could to comfort me but nothing quiet helped. I think i just disassociated for the rest of the day or else i would if spiraled out of control. We went NC very quickly after this as John couldnt believe that came out of his mothers mouth and was just taken a back and devisated as i was . Gma was still baby sitting and told gma i would never tell her what to do but please dont speak of me over there or anything about my family or me and John. she agreed that was best and kept her promise. though Months later i found out i was still a topic of conversation at MIL and SIL home, about my behavior that day and my "unplanned and outrageous choice to get rid of my child ." Gma came home and explained what was going on to John when i over heard and then suddenly spiraled into a nervous break down . Johna nd Gma came over to calm me and she apologized as she wasnt trying to keep it from me but didnt want to upset me further so she believed telling John was a better what and have him speak to his mother about this but he was also spiraling . after a few days i sent MIL a 4 page educational Fuck you text message and link included so MIL and SIL could better educate themselves as i did not "just get rid of it" i had a medical emergency that could i had last effects on my life. She then responded with no apologies no remorse , just blamed Gma for speaking when she shouldn't and that i "owed her" for being taken to Disneyland (which was a fully planned family trip she invited me to and was upset that John didnt propose to me during trip at disney) and i also "owed " her for her taking me to a doctors appointment. I responded and told her that was the sadest text message i have ever read and that i was so sorry she was just sad narcissitic woman who cant live her life with out blaming the world an her mother for her problems. Going forward MIL and SIL were blocked via phone , and all social medias as i will not allow people like them in my life. John also went NC and he was aware i was sending the message and if he would like he could read it himeself . He politely declined and explained going NC was the best to do as he couldn't stand to look or speak to her anytime in the near future, and with the horrible comments made about me i was allowed to say what ever i wanted to her .
(now since 2020 , we did have an accidental pregnancy around 2022 near the end of covid. All the stress led us to also make the decision to terminate as i was mentally not healthy enough , covid still going on, john lost his job it was another instant where this is not feasible for us, this was a very hard choice for us that put us at the lowest of our relationship and i even had complications after the termination which put me on bed rest for a week. MIL has no knowledge of this as it is not at all her business)
Since the house argument we went NC has been heavily inforced, with the occasional reach out demanding to speak to her son and now her refereeing to Gma by her legal name. SIL forbid gma from seeing the grandkids but will ask John to come see the kids which 9/10 times he declines. It breaks our hearts to not be apart of the kids life's but there is no more fake smiling through their BS . They have stopped by the house less than a handful of times for brisk interactions with the kids . MIL and SIL will try to engage me in conversation but they dont get anything besides the occasional "uhuh " and "oh wow" comments . They reccently invited us to the kids soccer games but sometimes the thought sends me to full blown panic attacks nd melt downs even thinking of engaging with them . I do speak to a therapist about all this and other things in my life, i do suffer from extreme anxiety and depression but as me and John have been getting better financially we have had more relaxed conversations about having kids soon which has brough up a lot of anxiety for me again with some flash backs to mentioned fight with SIL and MIL . They do occasional wiggle back into our lives like this which at times i could care less and other times cant leave my bathroom due to fear. John and myself haven't had much conversation about my anxiety for it lately but if i tell him "No" having to deal with his mother and sister , he never argues , never makes me feel bad for not engaging. He has always been extremally supportive with any of my decisions i make which makes me love him more . I understand that was a lot and i could go on forever about the crazy shit MIL and SIL do with their sad life but i just needed to get this out there . sometimes i think no one agrees with me about their behavior and after losing 2 best friends to ODs and Toxic life styles i dont have really anywhere else to express this emotion or ask for a ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on that isnt my S/O .
Well thats the general story thank you for lasting this long and reading my story today . If you have any questions or comments im happy to reply if anyone has anything to say.

It was a good day. It was peaceful and hardworking, filled with jokes and laughter but with stressed out workers. It was long and hot but that's okay. I decided to treat myself. My favorite ice cream place opened up last weekend and I wanted some so bad. I got some to congratulate myself on how hard I've been trying. I did make a choice though. I wanted a large option on a waffle cone but I got a regular instead. I knew I could satisfy my crave but also not overdo it. I am proud of myself for that decision. Even when I make decisions to treat myself and be unhealthy I'm trying to make the conscious choice of not to overdo it. I am elated with myself for doing that though that extra scoop would have been magnificent.
I ate a few different salads from work. I did have some potato salad because it was warm and it never is. Let me tell you. Try mayo based potato salad when it's warm. It is so satisfying or having topped with Andy Capps Hot Fries or mix in homemade pickled Fresno peppers. Gosh I miss my potato salad days with a bunch of extra vinegar infused with hot peppers. I'll find other pairings for my pickled peppers though! That reminds me to buy some more soon. Always pickle that night though so I don't forget them in the fridge. I love hot peppers and intend to grow some of my own Tabasco peppers some day so I can make some homemade Tabasco sauce. I wanted to also buy some of the wood chips that Tabasco sauce sits in as it ferment as well. I want to use them to smoke the salt I would put into the sauce for that extra kick. Or maybe even the peppers themselves. That would be fun and unique. Today I also ate some cherry tomatoes and didn't have time for my apple so half a PB&J. Nowhere near very healthy but it was much needed energy for the day. Peanut butter does have some protein though so I have that going for me. I had eggs and toast for breakfast and very much enjoyed myself. I know all this eggs and toast may not be the best but I'm fueling my body while also loving to eat it. From now on I'll make sure to add a vegetable with it though like broccoli or something else to gnaw on.
I am walking today. My goal is 40 minutes and I honestly missed doing it the past two days. I do like to practice Duolingo while I do it and I type some of my daily Reddit posts as well. I feel this multitasking is good for me and allows me to train my brain and my body for more. At some point I will start hogging parts of it. Right now I am content with the difficulty. One step at a time. Take in the positive and expel the negative with each breath. While I don't personally believe in the ideas of energy conduits between people and the use of crystals, I do respect that everybody has their own way of dealing with life. I'd believe we can give a sort of feeling or vibe and we can take this so-called “energy” and try to change or deal with it in positive ways. That kind of thinking satisfies my idea of bettering oneself.
My last two things. I achieved part of my goals. I cleaned my room a little but I did do laundry. My goal tomorrow is to continue to clean up and make the floor look more visible. It's a small room so that's the only reason why I can't see it. I like bags and put too much in them. I am satisfied with those achievements. My other thing was I wanted to talk about how I hit a woodchuck while driving home. I wanted to bury it but was afraid of disease. I drove past it a few times to make sure it passed away. I broke down and cried though. That was the first animal I've hit and I tear up now writing this. I believe animals shouldn't have to deal with humans so much but now it's such a part of our lives. I wish I could take it back. All I know is it happened and I can't reverse it. That beautiful animal has passed away and I hope it's life force is able to give back now. It upsets me that I caused it but I hope some good may come from his or her passing.
I get off today asking everyone what their views are on dealing with negative and positive feelings. How do you even view them in the first place? And how do you harness all of it? Thank you to the answers as I sign off my conjurers of the strong rooted trees unwavering in stature but allowing their tops sway to the changes in life.

My ex and I dated from (my age) 17-19. My best friend and I have been friends for 13 years. We all knew each other in high school and she knows the ins and outs of our (very) up and down relationship. Ultimately we weren't right for each other, and he did end up cheating on me at the very end with a girl he met on Snapchat. But he was my first love, I felt cared very deeply for him and she absolutely knows that.
I lost touch with my ex after our breakup. Recently, my best friend who I'll call Katie matched with my ex who I'll call Eric on Tinder. She had joked about seeing him on there before and swiping left but had talked about swiping right as a joke. I always laughed it off because I assumed she'd never actually do it and if she did, that it wouldn't be serious. But a month ago she told me that she ended up bumping into him and apparently they laughed about seeing each other on Tinder. One thing led to another and he asked her on a date, which she described as "just dinner out," and they got to talking about the past. Apparently he told her he thought she was cute back when we all knew each other in HS but that he never got the chance to tell her because her and I were so close. She framed this as something to be laughed off but it hurt a little that he felt the need to tell her that now. They've been hanging out and are very clearly going on dates and very into each other, but she won't put a label on it because I think she's scared to make it official and hurt me. But I still have to hear little bits about their time together when we're hanging out, and our mutual friends have told me that she has spoken more about how much she likes him when I'm not around.
In Katie's mind, Eric and I were in a high school relationship that ended because we were both immature and wrong for each other. While this may be true, I still cared about him and was betrayed when he cheated. She saw me cry and basically become paralyzed with depression and grief about our relationship ending and being lied to- I didn't eat for days and barely showered, she helped me through it. She may think it was a silly little relationship, and in retrospect it wasn't anything monumental, but it still meant something to me at the time and taught me a lot about myself. Now they are inching from casual relationship to boyfriend and girlfriend, I don't know if its gotten physical but I would imagine if it hasn't that that would be the next step.
I told her at the beginning that I was uncomfortable with the whole thing but that ultimately she needs to do what is right for her and what she wants. Now I think I was way too casual about it and made it seem like less of a deal than it is to me. She clearly knows it will affect me or she'd talk to me about it more. I know I can't force her not to date him, but I feel like I might end up having to choose between watching her fall in love with my first love or lose my best friend who has literally been like a sister, a part of my family, for nearly 14 years.
Sorry this is so long. I'm sick to my stomach writing it. I've had anxiety since it began and can't look at her the same. I keep checking his social media, which I haven't done in years, to see if he has posted her. They already comment under each other's post.
Any advice is legitimately greatly appreciated. I don't know who to turn to because my family loves her, and all our friends are mutual. Thank you.

It was a good day. It was peaceful and hardworking, filled with jokes and laughter but with stressed out workers. It was long and hot but that's okay. I decided to treat myself. My favorite ice cream place opened up last weekend and I wanted some so bad. I got some to congratulate myself on how hard I've been trying. I did make a choice though. I wanted a large option on a waffle cone but I got a regular instead. I knew I could satisfy my crave but also not overdo it. I am proud of myself for that decision. Even when I make decisions to treat myself and be unhealthy I'm trying to make the conscious choice of not to overdo it. I am elated with myself for doing that though that extra scoop would have been magnificent.
I ate a few different salads from work. I did have some potato salad because it was warm and it never is. Let me tell you. Try mayo based potato salad when it's warm. It is so satisfying or having topped with Andy Capps Hot Fries or mix in homemade pickled Fresno peppers. Gosh I miss my potato salad days with a bunch of extra vinegar infused with hot peppers. I'll find other pairings for my pickled peppers though! That reminds me to buy some more soon. Always pickle that night though so I don't forget them in the fridge. I love hot peppers and intend to grow some of my own Tabasco peppers some day so I can make some homemade Tabasco sauce. I wanted to also buy some of the wood chips that Tabasco sauce sits in as it ferment as well. I want to use them to smoke the salt I would put into the sauce for that extra kick. Or maybe even the peppers themselves. That would be fun and unique. Today I also ate some cherry tomatoes and didn't have time for my apple so half a PB&J. Nowhere near very healthy but it was much needed energy for the day. Peanut butter does have some protein though so I have that going for me. I had eggs and toast for breakfast and very much enjoyed myself. I know all this eggs and toast may not be the best but I'm fueling my body while also loving to eat it. From now on I'll make sure to add a vegetable with it though like broccoli or something else to gnaw on.
I am walking today. My goal is 40 minutes and I honestly missed doing it the past two days. I do like to practice Duolingo while I do it and I type some of my daily Reddit posts as well. I feel this multitasking is good for me and allows me to train my brain and my body for more. At some point I will start hogging parts of it. Right now I am content with the difficulty. One step at a time. Take in the positive and expel the negative with each breath. While I don't personally believe in the ideas of energy conduits between people and the use of crystals, I do respect that everybody has their own way of dealing with life. I'd believe we can give a sort of feeling or vibe and we can take this so-called “energy” and try to change or deal with it in positive ways. That kind of thinking satisfies my idea of bettering oneself.
My last two things. I achieved part of my goals. I cleaned my room a little but I did do laundry. My goal tomorrow is to continue to clean up and make the floor look more visible. It's a small room so that's the only reason why I can't see it. I like bags and put too much in them. I am satisfied with those achievements. My other thing was I wanted to talk about how I hit a woodchuck while driving home. I wanted to bury it but was afraid of disease. I drove past it a few times to make sure it passed away. I broke down and cried though. That was the first animal I've hit and I tear up now writing this. I believe animals shouldn't have to deal with humans so much but now it's such a part of our lives. I wish I could take it back. All I know is it happened and I can't reverse it. That beautiful animal has passed away and I hope it's life force is able to give back now. It upsets me that I caused it but I hope some good may come from his or her passing.
I get off today asking everyone what their views are on dealing with negative and positive feelings. How do you even view them in the first place? And how do you harness all of it? Thank you to the answers as I sign off my conjurers of the strong rooted trees unwavering in stature but allowing their tops sway to the changes in life.

Hi folks, I rebuilt my gaming PC a few weeks ago, and ever since then it has had some very strange problems that I can't explain with my limited knowledge. The worst of which is that it is randomly cutting off, specifically when playing performance intensive games.
The initial issue was that it would never boot on first try, it would first have an error (which I no longer remember) then it'd boot up into some sort of BIOS safe mode. This was when I was using an ASUS TUF B650-PLUS Wi-Fi board, which I returned. Now, I still have an issue where my PC takes FOREVER to boot, say around 1-2 minutes but it does boot. During this time my motherboard usually sits with its red + yellow error lights on, referring to the CPU and DRAM respectively.
Finally, I'm having random troubles with videos severely stuttering on my second monitor, regardless of whether this monitor is plugged into my iGPU or dGPU. I've not determined why this is the case or narrowed down the cause.
Specs for context:

• AMD 7800X3D
• ZOTAC GAMING RTX 4080 SUPER BLACK EDITION
• Patriot Viper Venom DDR5 64GB (2 x 32GB) 6000Mhz RAM
• MSI MAG B650 Mortar Gaming Motherboard
• Corsair SF1000L PSU
• Crucial T500 2TB M.2 SSD

Possible Relevant Peripherals: - Main Monitor: Alienware AW3423DWF 1440p165Hz HDR ultrawide monitor - Secondary Monitor: Dell S2417DG 1440p 165Hz monitor
I've tried logging some metrics for when the PC cuts off but since AMD Adrenalin Software only writes to memory when the logging is complete, it's been worthless. However, I did video record the logs at the moment the recording cut off. Here's the last moment before the power loss.
Anyways, if anyone has any ideas of what next to troubleshoot, that'd be great. I guess I have to try swapping out all my parts to narrow down this issue..? What a damn pain.

Can someone who is a proffesional help me with these questions
Introduction: Dear Reddit, thank you so much for taking the time to help me with this project. 1: Let me take you a moment to look at the product we are fictitiously producing. It is an innovative app that facilitates parents to make it easier for their children to do chores, and makes it more attractive for the children to do these chores. We think AI can play a big role in helping with this, and therefore see our company more as a technology company. We want to use AI in the following ways. 1: We want to collect data on parents, and based on that, give recommendations on chores they can do, for example. A bit like Netflix gives recommendations to movies they can use - Do you recommend we use an LLM for this - Will we do the data as input only from our app or could we also use other data, login with google or facebook, APIs from which applications needed? - To what extent is this possible with current LLM systems, and to what extent do we need to build our own software on top of it - Do you have any indication of what we need to do for this - Can you estimate the cost based on time and cost in euros, may be a range. 2: We want to allow children to pick out what their hobbies are and what kind of things they like. From the input we get from that, we want to ensure that the child's bitmoji is personalised. An example would be giving a child who likes Star Wars a bitmoji with a lightsaber and and laser gun. - What kind of systems would we need to get this done, is this more AI or more just writing a lot of software - Will we do the data as input just from our app or could we use other data too, login with google or facebook, APIs from what applications needed? - To what extent is this possible with current existing ideas (otherwise time indication), and what systems would we need to build on this - Do you have any indication of what we need to do for this - Can you estimate the cost based on time to make and cost in euros, may be a range - What do we need to add to make this system like the first system do recommendations, like a football club and that the user and can choose to accept it or not. 3: continue this theme and also adjust the background of each screen accordingly, for example the screen which chores still need to be done - What kind of systems would we need to get this done, is this more AI or more just writing a lot of software - APIs from which applications needed? - To what extent is this possible with current existing ideas (otherwise time indication), and what systems would we need to build on this- Do you have any indication of what we need to do for this- Can you estimate the cost based on time to make and cost in euros, may be a range- What do we need to add to make this system do recommendations like the first system does

Do you spend a lot of your time day dreaming what life would be like with your perfect match? Would that life consist of lots of quality time spent together, shared hobbies, travelling together, supporting each other and sharing not just the good times? Are your passions a weird conglomerate of sciency and artsy topics? We might just be a match. No, this is not an infomercial.
What makes finding my match somewhat difficult i,0s that my personality is all over the place, I can't really be put into a box and I dream of finding someone I'm deeply compatible with. I have a PhD in physics/math and work in a related field, involving IT and programming. My take on life is rather critical, rational and I'm not religious. BUT I'm also very by morals, emotional in certain aspects and my biggest aspiration in life is having a happy, fulfilling relationship where we are inseparable, each others best friend and more. A soulmate sorta thing if you wish, even though souls obviously don't exist...right?
Soo what are my passions that we could hopefully share together? I have to get the cliché out of the way first, I'm really big on films/tv shows/video games/manga and some books. It's not just something I consume to overcome boredom though, I'm extremely interested in stories and the art of story telling. My tastes are varied and something that would be fun to discuss, some of the things I like:
* weird, obscure horror movies that sometimes make me wonder if anyone else on the planet has ever seen them (spoiler: yes they have). Also horror movies in general.
* "artsy, deeper" movies without bordering into pretentiousness, a line that is entirely subjective but I shall still defend as if an objective truth. Kubrick I really like, also Disney.
* big sucker for romantic comedies and enjoy some goofy comedies as well.
* mostly story driven, single player games, Life is Strange would be an example of a game that had a deeper impact on me, wowser.
* would enjoy getting into multiplayer games together, I consider it a fantastic way to bond. Mario Kart (GoldenEye?) should be obligatory for a couple, friendly trash talking included (or not so friendly, if you're into that). LoL? Yes please (even though I hate it)
* I already feel like it's getting too long (that's what she said) but I enjoy the Harry Potter books and don't like when people call them children's books. They contain more wisdom about life than most literature classics.
The point being, talking about stories, analysing movies together or writing our own video game plot (don't worry I already have an amazing idea, but not so good at writing dialogue)/short stories is a big thing I'd like to share in a relationship.
Still with me? Some other things I enjoy:
* music, especially older stuff rock, pop, some metal, classical and soundtracks!
* photography, especially nature & architecture. Going on a hike or exploring nature with the intent of taking pictures gives you a whole new outlook on things.
* running, that would be a really fun activity to share together as well.
* cooking and every now and then baking. Let me cook a romantic dinner for you?
* travelling! I've somewhat dipped my toe into the digital nomad thing in the last year and loved it. Exploring a new city/country is super exciting to me. My style of travelling is definitely more adventurous. I like being out and about all day and see as much as I can in the time I'm there, doing a moderate but not too crazy amount of research beforehand about attractions. I like a certain degree of spontaneity and some days where we would just walk wherever the wind carries us. Long... really long walks on the beach are the best, especially at night. That being said, I also enjoy a day laying at the beach, café hopping, exploring restaurants or a mall haha. My favourite place so far has been Japan for sure (not a weeb I swear)(lot's of malls here!). If you're a solo traveller let me know. If you're younger or haven't travelled so much, this is not a deal breaker. As long as you're curious and open minded with a sense for adventure.
Phew ok, not done yet. I need to say something about the type of romantic connection I'm desiring as it's somewhat off the norm. I want to spend a lot of time with my partner. A lot. That doesn't even mean constantly engaging with each other, but just being around each other, checking in on each other, leaving little notes, generally what they would call being clingy. Maintaining a happy relationship should be the number 1 priority in your life, as it would be for me. I would never neglect you in favour of other people or obligations and expect the same in return. Location wise would be great if you're in Germany of course, but really doesn't matter that much to me. This would just be an awesome motivation for me to travel somewhere and as I'm very flexible in my day to day life, I would make a visit happen sooner than later.
Appearance wise, 183 cm, caucasian, slimish/fitish/averageish build, short dark brown hair and eyes. Finally, I'll finish off with an arbitrary list of traits that describe me and I'm simultaneously seeking out in a woman: sense of humour (did that come across...like, at all? Writing this post I felt like it was all rather serious at times, because I take this seriously, but my style of communication is more light hearted, being silly together, not taking everything too seriously, but being able to talk maturely should the situation require), responsible, curious, reliable, trustworthy, loyal, honest to a fault, dedicated, creative, self-aware, honest again because it's important, thoughtful, caring, kind but not a pushover, enjoys arguing/debating, romantic, sweet. If you have a (very?) k1nky side that would be the cherry on top, but it's not a must and all in due time.
Have a virtual cookie for making it this far. Now don't be shy and send me a PM already, telling me what's on your mind. If you send a chat and I don't reply, send a little PM as a follow up in case the chat didn't work.

Helllllo! Long time roleplayer here! I'm looking for a couple of new roleplay partners. First details: I am experienced, write 1-2+ paragraph responses, write on Discord, play usual female characters but am adaptable, and I love world building! I am okay with graphic scenes IC and am very big on discussing boundaries and rules with partners! I am bisexual and okay with any romance pairings.
Onto what I want! A similar styled partner, for one! Two, drama and angst! I am looking for someone who likes drama and angst mixed with slice of life. I am really craving a mob boss × undercover agent slow-burn romance with a ton of drama and angst, for one (you being mob boss). But I'm also open to so many other things. I'm just a huge fan of angst slice of life, drama, and straight up darkness sometimes.
Please, please send me a message on here for my discord!

Look yea the guy who played Rick was a good actor and time stands still part 1 & 2 is peak degrassi and probably the most popula hot the show ever been/ will be but I can’t help but wonder why did they choose Aubrey to get shot ? Something that has been bothering me now that I’m older and watch childhood shows with a different perspective why did they have to choose the only black guy to get shot but what gets me even more angry is immediately after Rick goes to Sean and Sean wrestles the gun out of Ricks hand why did the writers write Sean to be a superhero yet they wrote Jimmy to run ??? What would make Sean more likely to wrestle the gun out Ricks hand then Jimmy they were both pretty athletic teens… you think that’s enough nope they had to throw salt on the wound a couple seasons after writers write Jimmy to be a Virgin to me it looks like he pissed a certain writer off and they gave him the short end of the stick they wrote Craig as some rockstar that hooked up with every girl but write Jimmy as Virgin who was paralyzed running from a nerd covered in paint in feathers… I know James Hurst one of the writers claims Aubrey (Drake) had his legal team send him a letter that said unless they heal Jimmy and have him walking again he will not return the writer called Aubrey to the office and even though Aubrey denied having the letter sent he said being in the wheelchair had bothered him because his fellow rapper peers in the rap game was making fun of him and calling him soft… Ngl I would be pretty pissed at the writers if I was Aubrey re watching degrassi and I just feel like there’s a writer who had it out for Aubrey everyone says the shooting was written so well and perfect no it wasn’t what sense does it make Jimmy runs while ricks eyes closed yet Sean becomes Spider-Man or Superman and grabs the gun out Ricks hand if you look at this writing and ignore the nostalgia you’ll see the writers hating on Aubrey tbh if I was Drake I don’t think I would look fondly of my times at Degrassi not only did the writers treat me like garbage apparently the actors wasn’t even getting paid and recently the actor who played spinner was seen doing Uber and when Drake first came out rapping he did many interviews saying the Degrassi salary wasn’t anything life changing I honestly think he only did the im upset video because he could control it without the writers and finally get revenge on Rick he played it off like a reunion but his real intentions was getting revenge lmk what you guys think

This is my first relationship so I’m trying not to let insecurities take over here, but something I’ve always been afraid of is my future partner just wanting a relationship and thinking i fit the bill, instead of genuinely wanting to be in a relationship /with me/. I think this can be a massive downside of dating apps, but i tried to stay optimistic since i don’t have many options for meeting new people otherwise.
I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and definitely like him for his personality. I have some reservations though, like we don’t have many common interests, and I’m nervous about our religious backgrounds (i grew up very religious, he did not). I brought these things up to him and he was dismissive (i think he meant it in an encouraging way, like “you dont have to worry about those things”, but it caused the conversation to fall flat).
He said that us not having much in common just gives us a lot to share with each other, which i liked at first. But while i ask him questions about the things he’s interested in, he doesn’t seem to hold the same interest when im talking about what i like. Most of our conversations are really surface level because of that.
He said that he wouldn’t mind going to church with me if things got serious, and he’s never been against religion, just not interested in it. But I’ve never wanted to feel like I’m converting someone and don’t want him to go just because he thinks i want him to, and it felt a little like he just said it to keep me from making it more of an issue.
It doesn’t really feel like we’ve been getting to know each other better, or like things have really been progressing… at the same time, he’s talking about introducing me to his friends etc etc… I’m just worried that he wants a relationship, and I’m there.
Sorry for the ramble, i didn’t realize how much this was sitting on my chest till i started writing it out. Thoughts? Advice?

I am a 39 year old man. I like to "work from home" on the campus of a prestigious university in my city.
Why? The wifi is good, I want to get out of my house, and I don't want to feel pressured to buy things at a cafe. People accuse me of wanting to ogle and pickup college girls. Yes, some of them are quite pretty. I am 39, but look MUCH younger and am considered to be very handsome. I think that they ogle me much more than I ogle them. I very often see them checking me out and hear them say, "He's hot!"
I didn't talk to anyone. I eventually became assigned the trivia host of the on-campus bar, which does give me a better reason to be there.
There is one girl who looks like a senior. I have also seen her at a concert, and she clearly recognized me. One night she came to trivia and gave me the most exaggerated look of girlish yearning. I should have winked or waved at her, but I just didn't. Later, at an on campus festival, I saw her from afar and she was frowning at me, perhaps thinking that I couldn't possibly be attracted to her.
Months pass, and I would sometimes see her on campus. Then I finally got the nerve to approach her and chat her up. She is a senior, and I got her first name. It seemed really awkward so I didn't ask for her number, which I regretted as what was the point of speaking to her?
With her first name and some other details, I was able to figure out her full name. I mailed her a letter to the university in general and explained how I got her full name. The letter was short and funny.
I later got a phone call. One ring, then they hung up. I googled the number and it was from her on-campus job. I don't know why she called or why she hung up. I decided to write her a second letter. This one was actually much funnier and more cute.
Nothing happened, and I think it is over. I think it was good of me to approach her. We both needed vindication. Me from thinking that I am too scared to talk to women, and she might have felt good that I was in fact attracted to her.
But is this creeping people out? Keep in mind, there is a 0% chance that she was NOT attracted to me. It is very possible that she thought I was a late 20s grad student which is fine, and not a late 30s almost-rando which she might not like. But why did she call and hang up?

now, when i applied for this job i marked it. here is what i said and her response BTW SHE HIRED ME!! was “ i wasn’t aware”
since this has been brought up to my attention i am writing this because i know if i speak i will break down crying since this is extremely sensitive to me. first, when i applied for this job in late january, i put on my application on adp, i have a disability, usually the first question in the interview process is asking that i noted that on my job application, we are humans and people come and go and things get lost pretty easily. so early on working 6-3 with other co workers, kinda giving the vibe breaks are hard to get i got a collapsable stool so i have it for me. Now, if you all think im abusing the right of having it, then i will understand, and it is ok to say to me “hey thats too much for that stool”
Now, legally speaking for me, i was almost paralyzed when i was 10 years old, i was born with 2 spinal cord birth defects, and because usually you see them in infants, 10 years is alot of damage, i had to learn how to walk again, and the alot of trauma began. i was also in a spinal brace for 2 years, so i have chronic pain all the time, i can say with pride, i am the best version of myself today, but chronic pain is well, chronic, it doesnt care if you have a good day or whatever, it will make you feel much pain.
I was discriminated against by a previous employer. that job was a dream job of mine at the time, and being told “im scared of your disability, your disability seems like a problem” from an abled bodied individual, it makes me want to not say anything anymore, i try my hardest NOT to say anything because i know people dont like it.
as much as i possibly can i dont use the stool, but if it is a problem now, lets talk about alternatives, its not hours.
Thanks for your consideration.