How to say happy birthday to dead person

Pokémon Go Brag

2018.05.06 19:43 Exaskryz Pokémon Go Brag

Share your proudest moments from Pokémon Go here!
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2017.06.02 22:50 _CodyB WokeKids

Incredible children who have amazingly developed senses of social justice that coincidentally mirror those of their parents. This truly is the greatest sub of all time. Our official song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3wkyerSBpw
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2015.09.27 10:23 sciencegey shittyaskflying

I’m not ready to copy. I’m flying! Even we know two-way comms is not a bravo clearance.
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2024.05.20 07:30 kpay10 How to create sexual tension as a man without coming across as creepy?

When I (33M) match with a girl in a online dating app. I would ask if she would be interested in meeting in person, they would always respond with "lets get to know each other first". So we text and get to know each other, and when we finally meet up, there is nothing else left to say in person because we basically talked about everything via texts such as "what do you like to do for fun?", "what kind of music do you like?", "what do you do for work?" So there's no point in repeating those questions.
It also doesn't help that I'm extremely shy and awkward. When I ask a girl "Hey how are you?" and they say "good". And I have no idea what to say after that.
In the past when I gone on dates with girls, I get so shy, nervous and awkward that during the date, its about 90% awkward silence and 10% talking. During that 90% of awkward silence, I think about what I should say but my mind goes blank. My shyness has ruined so many good opportunities. I been told multiple times after the date has ended: "You are really nice but I didn't feel the chemistry", which I blame myself for being so shy.
submitted by kpay10 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:30 HazySorm Kinda scared of my martial arts coach.

Sorry I know it's long.
So I (19 F) started doing martial arts almost a year ago. I moved for school and didn't know anyone and needed to get out of my house and there was a dojo only a few minutes away. It seemed like a good idea. I really enjoyed it, I never worked out or anything before and was very overweight so it was also incredibly difficult. I started being happier and actually made some friends there. Now to the point. Being the only female in the BJJ class was another challenge. All of these guys were bigger, stronger, more fit, and more experienced in this fighting style. I knew the coach (36-38 M) offered private lessons that lasted for between thirty minutes to an hour for like $30, so I asked for extra rolls.
If you know even the basics you know BJJ involves a lot of touching and grabbing. I thought his hand placement was weird but I thought I was being dramatic or making something out of nothing so I pushed it to the back of my mind. I didnt pay much attention even though it made me uncomfortable when he grabbed my behind, my upper thighs, my chest, or any other remotely private area. I thought it was normal because I was very new to the sport.
He recently messaged me and had me come to the gym it was a little after regular classes had ended so I thought I forgot something there because it's happened before. When I walked in it was dark, the lights were off, I thought it was weird and had the feeling I should have recorded but I ignored the feeling and didn't which was stupid in hindsight.
I flipped on the gym lights and he was there he asked me to go to the back it's another part that has the striking equipment bags, gloves, ect.. As soon as we got there he flipped the lights back off and my heart spread up and my stomach was in knots. I was panicking, silently of course, because I know this guy is a pro, and could very easily overpower me if he wanted to.
At that point I had pieced things together but I played dumb. He asked if I knew why he called me, I certainly did then, but I said no. He said, "I'm physically attracted to you. I've enjoyed rolling with you when we do it. Let me partake in you." (Yes he used the word "partake") He said this in a very intimidating voice while stepping closer and I immediately began looking for an exit but the only way out was the way I came in. I said, no, and thankfully he took it but he wasn't happy about it. As I tried to leave he stopped me and grabbed my hand and squeezed hard and said, "I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable coming back here. Have a good night."
I walked to my car and started crying, it was like a wave of releif washed over my body. I know something ten times worse could have easily happened. The next day he put in the gym group chat the he was having a ceremony for his wife, who happens to be his highschool sweetheart, and wants to thank her for everything she's does for the gym. Last week he had the ceremony, gave her flowers, kissed her, and gave a speech about how much he loves and appreciates her and his three daughters. All of this in front of the over twenty people there that day.
I've become more aware of every single movement this man makes. When I went to the striking class the next day, during drills he touched my back, waist, and hair. It made my skin crawl. His wife and children were at the dojo that day, it scares me how bold he is. How is he comfortable doing that when they could easily see him?
I know his wife. I've had several conversations with her. I've helped her with remodeling a studio. I've played with his children. She and his kids adore him. I can't understand why he would throw all of that away. I can't tell his wife because I don't think she'd beleive me and if she did I'd be tearing apart a family. I know and he knows I can't say anything to anyone else because he's a "good Christian man" and always praises and brags on his family and talks about God and Jesus and has known all of these people for years before I came into the picture. To them I'm a newer friend who isn't religious. They'll take his word over mine any day.
He's acting like nothing happened at all. I think he's trying to make me think I'm crazy and to be honest it's working. I've questioned if it actually happened, if anything happened, the only reason I'm sure is because I called my therapist that night damn near having a panic attack. I've thought about switching then change my mind because it's not that bad right? I told my friend that and she knocked me in the head and said I was switching whether I liked it or not and that she would start going with me.
He still keeps messaging me asking me what I'm doing, if I'm coming, if I want private lessons. It scares me because he knows where I work and go to school. He thankfully doesn't know where I live. I just know if he had really wanted to that night he could have easily had his way with me. He still could if I'm not careful. I have a few months until my contract with that gym is up, then I'm going to switch. The next closest one is an hour away, but I guess that's the cost of being a woman....
I'm just mad, and a little sad. I thought this guy was my friend, and now I'm going to lose all of the friends I've made at the dojo so far. I finally found something I enjoy doing with people that i like being around. Now I have to leave and try to get to know new people again. I'm terrible with socializing so this was hard, and I'm going to have to do it all over again.
I just wonder how long he was looking at me like nothing more than a piece of ass. At the same time that thought makes me nauseous. How many times has he done this? Is this the only time? Does he do this to every barely legal aged girl that walks into his gym? Is this why there are only three female members? Does his wife know she married an unfaithful piece of shit? So many questions, and no way to get answers.
I've thought about quitting martial arts all together, wondering if the hour drive every single day is actually worth it when I move gyms. Every time I think about it I feel awful though. I know I can't quite or I'll spiral....I hate this and I'm tired of this...I want to tell my family but I can't. My mother and aunt would cause even more problems for me and I think my great-grandmother would worry herself to death. The only people who know are my four friends outside the gym, my therapist, and now whoever decides this is worth it to read.
submitted by HazySorm to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:30 iwtwell Reasons to Try Trauma Therapy Columbia MD

It is possible that finding a qualified mental health professional who is located close to your house in the Trauma Therapy Columbia MD, might be an essential component of your route to recovery after a traumatic experience. When clients participate in trauma therapy, they may discover a secure environment in which they may process their responses to the traumatic event, which may include their emotions, thoughts, and behaviours.
People who are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, or any of a variety of other mental health difficulties that are the result of a horrific event may find that seeking professional treatment from a therapist may be a lifesaver. Columbia Associates is ready to assist those interested in beginning trauma treatment, which offers many benefits.
A Restorative And Safe Setting For The Purpose Of Healing
A person may feel helpless, overwhelmed, and alone after a terrible experience. When speaking with loved ones who have not gone through traumatic experiences, many people find it challenging to find the proper words or to comprehend what they are saying.
When you participate in trauma therapy, you will have the opportunity to interact with a competent professional who has previous experience working with those who have been through terrible experiences. Talking to a therapist may provide you with a secure and welcoming setting in which to process the trauma you have experienced.
Training For Resilience In The Context Of Dealing With Stressors
After the fact, it is expected to have triggers that bring back intense sensations or memories triggered by a traumatic event. The following are some examples of items that might act as triggers for the traumatic incident for the individual:
•Individuals
•Locations
•Things of a physical nature
•Able to be heard
•The Smell Of Pungent
When you Trauma Therapy Fort Washington MD, you will be able to discover appropriate strategies to cope with these triggers. Finding out what causes you tension, learning how to relax around them, and being ready to cope with them when they occur are all essential steps.
The Improved Mental Condition Of Being
Following the occurrence of a traumatic event, individuals may experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other mental health conditions. The core cause of the traumatic event may be addressed via trauma treatment, which may help lessen symptoms.
It is true regardless of whether the traumatic experience was a one-time incident or a continuous source of stress. It is possible that treating your trauma in treatment may provide you with relief from symptoms as well as an improvement in your mental health and overall well-being.
Acquiring A Richer And More Complete Understanding Of Oneself
When you have gone through a traumatic experience, it may be challenging for you to orient yourself and the people around you. During trauma therapy, you and your therapist will discuss your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in response to the traumatic event that you experienced.
There Is A Mental Health Clinic
According to the results of a recent poll, 42 percent of people living in that they had difficulty obtaining good care for their mental health, which suggests that the town is neglected in this respect. In an attempt to fill this need, it offers many types of mental health treatments, including trauma therapy.
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2024.05.20 07:30 BackgroundSoftware20 Age Gap/Partner is not attracted to me anymore? Post Partum? Dead sex life?

12 year age gap? I am the younger and he is older. We met through online gaming through mutual friends. We have been friends and played throughout the covid years for about 2 and a half years together until we started dating. We were long distance in different provinces. I was a single mom of 2 kids and had my own house I rented, paid all my bills and handled my own pretty good. He was single and had his own home and career going so we blew off steam from our daily lives in the online gaming world. Anyways I decided to shoot my shot one day and the feelings were mutual. I was scared I would get denied due to our age gap but I decided to go for it. We did long distance for a few months and he would drive the 6 hours to come see me and vice versa for me to see him depending on our schedules. When we first started dating it was lovely as the sex was great and intimacy was high between us. I fell in love and my kids took to him as well. It was a very slow process. (Side note: I left from an abusive relationship years prior with their dad who refused to help raise our kids) I did my inner work on myself healing my traumas and identifying alot of personal work on myself before I even considered trying to date again. My current bf felt safe and secure. Fast forward we dated long distance and eventually decided to move in together. I left my home city and moved out to the country with him. We decided to aim for a baby as he always wanted kids and the family life. Not long after I got pregnant all intimacy stopped between us. Sex started going to a day apart and then 2 days and then a week where all of a sudden 2 weeks to a month and its super rare now like the eclipse. I weighed 107 when we met and I went to 160 throughout the pregnancy but dropped back down to a total of 115 as of now. I'd voice my opinions to him as I needed some intimacy like basic cuddling or even the "deed" and how it felt like we weren't even a couple anymore. Our kids take a toll on us sometimes so its hard being parents and then trying to get some us time in the day. We began sleeping in seperate rooms about 3 months in the pregnancy. I felt so alone being so far away from my family and friends. I took that leap of faith for love and realized how lonely it is out here. He worked 8-5 5 days a week but took paternity leave off for 10 months after our son was born so he kicked in big time with helping me with our newborn. I paid half the bills and groceries so financial matters was not a problem for us. He's so proud and such a great dad to our kids. I've asked him if he wasn't attracted to me anymore as our sex life died. I use to intiate and over the time we were together after I got pregnant he started brushing me off like no sex or small things where i tried rubbing his back and he said that bothered him. So everytime I tried to intiate it made me feel rejected... meanwhile my body took a toll on the pregnancy as I chose to put my schooling off another few years so I could give him a baby. I love our son he is the best thing ever! As parents we rock but as partners its like we fizzled out to be room mates. I miss sex, its like theres still unknown things I haven't learned with him yet as a couple. Our interests and hobbies are the same but he just seems uninterested in sex. Even when we'd try force it just to get it done seemed like no interest. We don't make out just the basic pecks of goodnight and see you when he leaves for work. I've been getting back to my fitness journey again and I am so excited to get back to myself again. I just feel like... maybe he has low testosterone? Maybe he's not attracted to me anymore? I'm started to think maybe were not for eachother as a couple anymore but we are great friends. I love him and he loves me but post partum is really kicking my ass. I want to be the best mom for my kids and be me again where I laughed and did things that made me be me before the relationship. I'm so drained being a full time mom and neglected house wife where intimacy ceases to exist as well as isolation. He has no problem getting it up when its time for us to do the deed so porn was ruled out lol I am debating if I should stick it out before I move back to the city single with my kids? Or continue on with him in a sexless relationship. I am started to dread weekends as I just cut the grass and go grocery shopping and its been like that forever. We don't do anything fun nor do I have anything to look forward too in life anymore. I have voiced my opinions and concerns to him multiple times but I keep getting dead feedback like.. I do love you and I am attracted to you. I just don't feel it though. Am I crazy for thinking of leaving? Idk what to do. Stick it out and hope we change our lives around for the better? All my decisions are based on my kids lives and I don't want to add any trauma to them due to my first abusive relationship to their dad. Or any women going through this as well did it get better? Or is it time to leave and start doing things again that made you happy so you can thrive to be the best version of yourself for the kids? I will be applying for university next year since I missed the deadline this year so relocating back to my home city with my friends and family excites me! He is considering quitting his job and finding a different one in my city when its time for us to move. I'm scared to add any drastic measures to his life if we don't workout in the future. He will be leaving his house, job and family as well if we stick it out. Although I sacrificed alot of my life as well. Any advice or tips would be lovely.
submitted by BackgroundSoftware20 to u/BackgroundSoftware20 [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:30 Weary_Hiker Can't post videos

For some reason I can't post videos in any of the groups I am in. When I post a video, it says "post submitted" but it never posts. I've reached out to the moderators of those subreddits and there is nothing there for them to approve. They have checked the settings and people can post videos. They said I'm not the first person to complain about this. Any ideas what is happening here and how I can post videos?
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2024.05.20 07:28 hannalysis I’m a therapist who works with clients with BPD and has had many close relationships with people with BPD. Here’s how I understand it — is it accurate?

Hi. I’m a therapist who works often with Cluster B PDs, but by far the most frequently with BPD. I also have had several close friends and family diagnosed with the same. It’s very important to me that my clients feel (and are) accurately understood and seen, and I wanted to check in with this community to see how y’all feel about my current understanding of BPD, and how people might respond if their therapist presented a similar framework or analogy to at least partially describe your experience. I recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all experience or metaphor that fully encapsulates the infinite complexities and nuances of each individual; I just wanted to check in and see if people generally feel like I’m on the right track.
In my grad program (Clinical Mental Health Counseling), we were taught that there’s typically a “formula” for BPD that involves two specific ingredients, whether they rise to the threshold of trauma or not: Emotion dysregulation + an invalidating environment. I really appreciate this approach because it covers severe abuse and neglect, but also extends to families that are relatively “normal” and well-adjusted — but not intrinsically equipped to effectively navigate the extreme distress and dysfunction of something like genetically-predisposed BPD.
If a person who is predisposed to BPD grows up in a fairly healthy family and experiences typical/unavoidable adversity and rejections as trauma, the stability and general state of wellbeing of everyone else in that family system is inherently invalidating. Everyone around them is able to become a healthy, happy, and solid individual in that same environment, and yet they aren’t. Everyone else in the immediate family experiences emotions fundamentally differently — not through any malice, gaslighting/manipulation, or objective neglect, but simply because their brains, nervous systems, and genes are wired differently — and this means that a person predisposed to BPD experiences feeling relentlessly invalidated, gaslit, minimized, and dismissed for the instability and volatility of their own emotions and experiences. There’s an emptiness that has no external root or source, but that hurts insistently, every day, regardless of the lack of circumstances to explain it.
I think of BPD as the emotional equivalent of a tooth with weak enamel that easily chips and quickly exposes the root/nerve with no insulation. There’s profound ‘temperature sensetivity’ in the preoccupation with abandonment — reading extremes of affection and rejection into neutral or often minor interactions/conflicts; and there’s extreme ‘pressure sensitivity’ in their intolerance for genuine closeness with others before the intensity of the proximity causes overwhelming pain. Such an uninsulated tooth/nerve experiences extreme pain when trying to perform basic functions (chewing normal foods/navigating day-to-day life and relationships) and experiences intolerable suffering when exposed to genuine extremes (biting into ice cream or eating hard and crunchy food/experiencing deep rejection or encountering significant resistance/rigidity in their environment). This framework helps me better understand pwBPD, and it helps me balance profound compassion with accountability (if a tooth is that compromised, we need to avoid chewing with it until we can implement external supports and build that insulation back up). I would love to hear if this analogy is helpful to anyone but myself, though.
submitted by hannalysis to BPD [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:28 b_-_b I feel like I can’t get over this break-up.

I have been dating with my ex for 4 months. Even though it was not that long, we had so many memories together. He was my first boyfriend after becoming 18 so I have done many things with him for the first time.
He was such a good person. He was kind, caring and nice. I could feel that he loved me a lot. The problem between us was me. I wasn’t honest and sometimes acted like an asshole. But at one moment, I realised that this relationship was wrong and I should not hurt him.
I told him to break up. I still love him but I know I can’t hurt my beloved like this so I let him go. He deserves much better than me.
But my heart feels like it’s so broken. I feel like I can’t date with any other person. I still love him and want him to stay with me but at the same time I know this relationship will not work and I will keep hurting him. I blocked him on every social media so that I don’t contact him when I get drunk and deleted all photos of him.
People might say that time is medicine but I don’t think time will solve mine. So heartbreaking. He seems like he’s okay and I’m happy with this but I’m so painful. I might be getting my karma back.
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2024.05.20 07:28 Raasiboi why does my nmom keep bringing up the exact same story

i have heard this story a million times, she tells it to almost every single person. Firstly, she always says I used to cry a LOT (probably because baby me knew what kind of world i was coming into) but there’s a specific story about how one night I wouldn’t stop crying so they spent the entire night driving around, went to the hospital, went to my aunts, a couple other places to figure out what was wrong with me. i’ve never heard the end of the story, presumably i fell asleep.
she’s used that story multiple times to guilt trip me but i just don’t get why everyone has to know.
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2024.05.20 07:27 Spiritual_Pen2233 2 weeks post thyroidectomy

I must say I’m happy with my healing so far after seeing how rough some peoples scars looked online. I had my surgery just over two weeks ago. So far everything feels ok besides still having some numbing in the neck and voice issues trying to talk loud.
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2024.05.20 07:26 Mj_Frosty Sold on the PC OLED experience (ASUS ROG PG27AQDM OLED monitor)

Sold on the PC OLED experience (ASUS ROG PG27AQDM OLED monitor)
Although I'm a bit late to the launch party on this one, I finally took the plunge and moved to OLED after waiting for a decent 27" option, and can safely say it's one of my best upgrades in a few years. I've just come from the Samsung G7 VA panel and have been gobsmacked.
For me personally, the anticipation for OLED technology in the PC space has been nothing short of a journey. We've patiently awaited its arrival, not just for the obvious benefits in visual quality, but also for more suitable size options that cater to our competitive streak that is part and parcel of our makeup as PC enthusiasts. While OLED has long been celebrated in other realms, such as TVs and smartphones, the PC gaming community has yearned for OLED panels in the 27-32" range—ideal for gaming without compromising desk space. We can finally bid farewell to the compromises of IPS, VA, and other panel types. It's been a landmark moment for me to embrace gaming with vibrant colours, deep blacks, and lightning-fast response times all rolled into one panel with very few drawbacks and not to mention exceptional brightness. Even with general desktop use, the panel maintains around 250 nits in SDR, making it more than suitable for day-to-day tasks outside gaming.
The OLED Care functionality also reduces the risk of burn-in to near zero, so damaging the panel from prolonged use is a lot more difficult than I anticipated. Auto hiding taskbar and not having a desktop background simply aren't needed with the panel technology and preventative functionality like “pixel cleaning” and “Screen Move”. “Screen Move” is more of a pixel “shift” and is an optional function with various levels of strength which adjusts the location of stationary pixels. Some users may find this function distracting for desktop use. Experiment with the various modes to see which you find to be tolerable, however it can also be switched off. I didn't notice any issues with this at any strength level.
Stepping into the world of OLED PC gaming after years of relying on VA or IPS counterparts is a huge step. The first thing you notice is the richness and depth of colours. The deep blacks are almost surreal, providing a level of contrast that was previously unheard of. It's on par with upgrading from standard definition to 1440P and beyond. Every detail is sharper, every scene is more immersive.
Brightness is very impressive on W-OLED panels as a whole, but I was impressed to hear that the precision heatsink on the PG27 somehow elevated peak brightness over the LG 27GR95QE-B by as much as 30% in both SDR and HDR over its LG counterpart. On the other end of the spectrum, the benefits of infinite contrast make OLED a must for gamers like me who enjoy their horror. There's nothing worse than seeing washed-out grey where parts of the environment are supposed to be cloaked in darkness. Having the ability to simply switch pixels "off" is simply something that really should have been in the PC space way sooner.
https://i.redd.it/1ms1tle7oi1d1.gif
Equally, where there needs to be colour there's no disappointment there, either. With true 10-bit depth and 99% DCI-P3 gamut, vibrant scenes look stunning. Horizon Forbidden West landscapes really "pop" where there's lush vegetation and water, and with over 1000nits on tap the sun's glaze is set apart from the landscape. The insane contrast capabilities on these panels make the transitioning between different environments far more lifelike than what's possible on traditional LED technology.
Overall this has easily been my best upgrade in the last 3 or 4 years, very happy. I'd recommend it to anyone still swaying on the fence with an older IPS or VA panel.
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2024.05.20 07:26 Ok-Sprinkles-6880 How can I become a better supporter to my friend?

Hi, all! I have a question about how to best support my friend. We both are neurodivergent. I have ADHD and am suspicious of autism. She has been diagnosed with autism. She’s the type of person that’s always happy to be there for other people, but it’s the opposite when she’s going through something. She likes to isolate and go quiet. It’s hard for her to accept people’s help or support. I’m the type of person that is usually very forward with my support. I think there have been times where that approach has been overwhelming for her. I’ve tried to tone it down. It seems like less is more when she’s upset about something.
What she does do though is occasionally post things like poetry that are expressing her emotions when she’s down. I don’t reach out to every single one of them with a comment when she posts, just occasionally. I’m always wondering what the right thing to say is to show her my support, but in a way that’s not overwhelming. It seems like opening up makes her afraid that people will run from her. I still don’t think she understands how much I value her as my friend, and we’ve known each other for over a year now.
She’s so caring when supporting me, but sometimes it seems like she’s also trying to support me in a way that shows she cares but doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I think we both worry about scaring the other one tbh. We’re both givers, but not good at receiving from others. Lol! Any advice for navigating a situation like this?
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2024.05.20 07:25 Careless-Wish-4563 Does it sound as though I would struggle to maintain a longterm romantic relationship with a black man due to my own internalized racism, and the environment I was raised in?

I am a black woman, 19. I was raised in, and still live in, an environment with a very low black population. I have reflected on how this was why I generally preferred white, white passing, or generally non-black boys in elementary and middle school. In 9th grade, this started to change somewhat, as I had my longest strongest ever crush on a 1/2 black 1/2 white boy who was slightly above average looking (he was a bad person/definitely did not have good morals although he seemed to notice me when I was depressed and this was why I came to like him so much. My older brother had entered into rehab earlier that year, and I was having an extremely hard time mentally after realizing that my parents had been abusive toward my brother. I started to resent both of my parents in high school and saw a therapist from 9th-12th grade.)
I do have internalized racism, and I know this. I think that I am absolutely better about this than I was in middle school, though, and now that I am actually an adult I have more of a desire to meet other black people and learn more about black culture.
My father is an unintelligent alcoholic, who threatened to physically abuse my brother when he was a child. I have $11100 saved and should have $12000 or close to it by the end of this month. I still live with my parents in the apartment complex I grew up in and am itchy right now because we have bugs in here a fair amount. I’ve been particularly depressed recently - I think I’m realizing that things for my family may never truly get better (my father is as dumb as I said he was. If we are ever kicked out of our apartment complex, we have nothing to fall back on. I actively make an effort to not think about what my brother grew up in because it makes me even more depressed, and I figure that it’s not healthy.)
I went out with a black boy in high school. I talked the way I probably truly sound around him (no code switching, dated December 2021-March 2022.) He pointed out that I never said the n word or seemed comfortable with saying it. He was right. Even now, I feel weird and extremely uncomfortable saying it or thinking it and just don’t want to.
Whenever I’m not working (am an educator,) I watch “Laverne and Shirley,” “twilight zone,” or more recently Star Trek tos (I saw the first episode tonight and hope to see more of it.) I take community college courses but don’t know what I want to major in. I generally watch videos from retrotvcentral daily. I am reading “Carrie” by Stephen king but am reading it very slowly because I’ve become lazy
I believe that being overweight is a bad thing (bad for your health. I know this may be a fatphobic comment, but I think being overweight makes a woman average, and if I were overweight I would make an effort to lose the weight even if especially depressed.)
View Poll
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2024.05.20 07:25 JustinTHuntAuthor My Indigo Park Discoveries and Theories

SPOILERS for Indigo Park Chapter one! You are warned!!
My Indigo Park discoveries.
1st: upon entering the first section where we meet Rambley, we’re given two bits of info. 1st is that according to the computer, the date is Saturday 7th 20XX (mysteriously left vague) and that the staff need to give the correct coupon/discount for that day. However, Rambley Raccoon the AI mentions at least twice that it’s actually a Tuesday, and he says it's been exactly 8 years (2920 days) since the last person visited Indigo park.
2nd: Something else to note is that, if we go by the very beginning visual recording we saw of Isaac Indigo, and listen to Finley’s chat when we first meet Finley, we discover that The Park, or at least the animated characters/ mascots have existed for 100 years. If we look at a calender to see what fits with these two bits of information, we can come to the very plausible conclusion that Indigo Park started officially back in 1925, and that the CURRENT DATE , the date WE as the main character go in by, is actually Tuesday 7th 2025, meaning that it was 2017 when the last person logged on for Indigo park, which would actually fit with what we’re told.
Solid fact: COMPUTER says sat oct 7th 20xx (doesn’t give proper date). AI RAMBLEY says Tuesday is the day we’re there, at least twice. RAMBLEY claims it’s been exactly 2920 days, 8 years, since the last person came to the park. Therefore in order for the date to make any sense at all, and align with the info we’re given so far, Indigo Park has to have been created back in 1925, the bad event happened around 2017, and we’re going into the park 8 years later in 2025.
3rd discovery: When we first see the Mascot characters checking in on us, the first and most consistent one we see is Molly Macaw the bird. What’s interesting is we find a wrecked and discarded version of an old mascot costume for her in the very first ride. The second most interesting fact we have is that the molly that pursues us, along with the lion as well, are far too real to be people in costumes, and move too fluidly to be AI controlling costumes. This gives me the belief/ theory that perhaps these are actually CREATURES, possibly scientific experiments, that have taken on some of the traits of the mascots we see in the park. This idea is further solidified by the fact that, later in the game, we actually end up decapitating Molly *spoilers*, and real blood comes from her. The same thing could be said for Lloyd when we get jumpscared by him in the theater. He reacts negatively to a noise the critter cuff makes and runs off. At first I thought maybe it was the AI telling him off, saying ‘hey don’t kill that person, they’re a guest’ or something, but knowing now that these creatures are actually flesh and blood makes me wonder if perhaps these were indeed wild animals that somehow became the mascots for the park at some point, and along the way something went wrong. It would sort of make sense, given that later on near the end of the game, if you manage to collect a mascot mask during the molly chase, you’re given some lore from a recording about new mascots arriving at Indigo park. These new mascots were concerning the old workers in this recording, as they worried the new mascots would ‘take their jobs’. Meaning that at some point new mascots came in and the old mascot performers weren't too happy about it. Perhaps one of these disgruntled workers did something to cause the new mascots to go wild, and that caused all the events that led to the evacuation of the park. Which brings me to THAT point.
4th discovery: The Evacuation of Indigo Park, and abandonment of it.
Something I noticed during the entire game was just how ruined everything was. Like, it is completely wrecked, even more so then I would honestly believe for a place that’s been abandoned for 8 years. Some things are still running, and some buildings are still in tact for sure, but there are ENTIRE buildings and walls just… absolutely wrecked, like a wrecking ball smashed through some of them. I’m not an expert on how long buildings take to get to the extent of disarray Indigo park is in when we go there, but it’s just ABSOLUTELY wrecked. Even when we go through a tunnel at one point, there is a collapse that closes the entrance behind us at that point. Sure, its game play to stop us from returning, but from a story standpoint, if you were to look at that tunnel entrance just before going in, it looks perfectly fine. The least you would expect to see is some dust crumbling down, cracks in the wall, stuff like that, as it prepares to give way. But that doesn't happen. No, instead, I suspect that it was actually the new mascots, specifically a character like Finley who has been labeled as rather large and strong, that caused the majority of the damage in the park. My evidence so far comes from two examples. First example is when we first almost get attacked by Lloyd in the theater, and he gets almost flattened by crates. You could make the argument that he was pretty weak, especially since he kinda just gives up and disappears only to try and get us as we leave and then gets scared by the critter cuff. But if you notice, the crate that lands on him is fairly wide and fairly large, and does NOT look light in the slightest. And since he’s meant to be a lion, he should be fairly strong. So, that crate that flattened him but didn't kill him? It SHOULD have killed him or knocked him out had he been a normal human in a costume.
My second evidence to this idea is Molly. We’re talking about a bird that has feathers for hands/fingers. That shouldn't make her strong by any means. And yet, when we get chased by her, the door she comes through to get to us gets pulled open by force by her. Watch that scene again carefully and you’ll see what I mean. True, the door is slowly starting to open, but it STOPS, and then she forces it open with absolute ease! And that was a solid steel door!
And third factor (I know I said two factors but I wanted to point this out a lil too) is the existence of Finley’s real sea-dragon body, seen RIGHT at the end of the chapter. There is no way that is a real human, and definitely no way that's an animatronic either. That thing is real, and its definitely strong.
My guess? These guys are what actually caused the majority of the damage we see in the park. It would explain why the place got evacuated at all, and why police wanted to keep people away from the place so badly.
5th discovery: little things to note.
So in chapter one there’s a few little things of note which might not be huge to the lore, but I wanted to talk about for sure cus they fascinate me.
1st lil note: On the train ride in, if you turn around upon seeing conductor Rambley enter the train, there’s a picture of Rambley and LLoyd shaking one anothers’ paws. I haven’t been able to get a closer look, but I believe there’s also some kind of letter or note in the picture too. I have no idea what this implies, but I found it interesting given that, for the rest of the game, Rambley basically hates Lloyd and resents how much attention the lion gets (despite the fact that rambley is most definitely the one character that gets the most attention.)
2nd lil note: if you pay close enough attention throughout the chapter (after you officially enter, and before you see her in the Landing Pad room) Molly Macaw actually appears a few times. Sometimes physically, sometimes saying things. I think the first time you can officially see her is in the cue for the train ride as she goes around a corner. You can spot her a few times during the train ride as well, and can even hear her saying something after Finley has his little ‘come visit me’ speech. I don’t know exactly how many times she pops up along the ride, but that is very interesting. I also believe she pops up in the theater, both physically and for a brief moment you can hear her too, just before you see Lloyd in the backstage area.
Collectables. Like with FNAF security breach, this game has collectables that reveal a lil more lore, but unlike FNAF, you can only find out info about the items once you reach an info kiosk. For the most part, the info you get if you scan the items seem to be about your character’s backstory, which honestly isn’t… much? But there could be more in the future, who knows. But if you click on them, you can learn more about the items from Rambley, which is where you also get to learn about the secret recording regarding that one mascot mask. They’re part of the game, but I don't think you have to get them? At least, I don't think they unlock anything special if you do get them all. I know nothing changed when I got them all.
Our character's height/age/info. So, when we are first introduced to the character we play as in the beginning opening intro, it's pretty obvious that we’re playing someone who’s either a teenager, or a fully grown adult. They’ve been known for exploring abandoned places before, if we pay attention to the messages they share with an internet friend, and in the game, our arms are quite muscular, meaning we are known for being fairly strong ourselves, and more than capable of running for long distances (which makes sense later on with the molly chase).
However, a couple of things I wanted to note: If this is true, then why are some things in indigo park different heights to us then what they should be? For instance, a normal upstanding bin, with nothing keeping it above ground or adding to its height, is only just below our chin basically. Another example is that some of the desks in cafes or kiosks are higher than us. Yet it's made pretty clear we’re not playing as a kid. I suppose it is entirely possible we could be playing an adult of short stature, but I’m not entirely sure. It is also possible that this was done as part of the game’s physics, to avoid players jumping over things. Story wise, it is a bit inconsistent and I thought that was a little strange. Could be nothing, but could be something.
My current Theory:
So here’s my running theory. I want to point out that this is a theory and not absolute fact, and if you have theories of your own I’d love to hear them. I’m just theorizing according to the evidence I’ve picked up. Here goes.
Sometimes back in the late 2010s perhaps, Indigo park decided they wanted to take things in an exciting new direction. Their ideal thought was always to try and bring dreams to life, of course, and perhaps Isaac Indigo felt that the current Mascots weren’t doing the best job at that. He brings in some scientists and discusses with them a revolutionary idea: turning ACTUAL animals into the mascots for Indigo park. Perhaps he reasons with them by saying things like ‘hey, people want to see and feel the realness of these mascots they’ve come to love, what better way to do it then to give them REAL animals.’
Unfortunately, this means some scientific experimentation. A scientist, we’ll call them Richard for now, gathers up the actual animals that represent the mascots (perhaps getting a lion cub from a circus to avoid being killed by lions in the wildlife)), and starts to run experiments on them by giving them potions that slowly, over time, start to ‘transform’ them into the mascots for Indigo park. However, he gets to the one for Salem the skunk, and since Salem is supposed to be the evil, tricky, clever one, her transformation goes awry, and they break free, enabling the other animals to break free as well. Causing the chaos of the park to ensue, and the eventual evacuation of the park. They decide they want to keep Indigo Park as their home, because they know that the outside world would probably kill them on the spot, and slowly over time become more animal like, but still hold onto some of the old traits they were injected with. The AI known as Rambley was confined to the front desk, most likely because that would be one of the last areas staff went to before fully evacuating. Meaning he was stuck there until we came along. Now he wants to bring the park back to life, because that’s what he’s programmed to want, and to do, but he needs human clearance, which is where we come in. But the animal mascots will probably not like that, because that means we’re bringing back to life the place that condemned them to start with. So they will try to stop us any way they can. Is this right? Again, not sure. It’s just a theory right now. But I’ll be interested to find out what happens in chapter two.
Was there anything I missed? What did YOU think of Indigo park? Got any theories? Let me know and let’s discuss Indigo Park!!


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2024.05.20 07:25 Downtown_Fun_5998 I don’t know what to do.

It’s my first time using reddit, bare with me if I make any mistakes. I’m Filipino, and I live in Auckland.
8 months ago (specifically September 19, 2023) I met this guy (Me and him were the same age, 19, just turned 20 this month. He’s half Filipino, Half Egyptian). The day before, he messaged me on Discord and when we knew that we were in the same country, we decided to meet up. It wasn’t really love at first sight, but he was very consistent with effort and I slowly fell in love. I don’t think we were friends to begin with. He is an average guy, and as we were dating I slowly made him into a better person (taught him to cook dishes I would cook, made him into a cleaner person, and in terms of looks, I made him glow up). I guess you can say it’s the girlfriend effect. We were open about any topic, we just enjoyed each others company, and slowly grew very affectionate of each other. I later knew that he was actually Muslim (I’m a Catholic), but I didn’t care about it honestly, I just really enjoyed our time together. He would spoil me, treat me with so much care, respect, love, and he’d find ways to see me when he can. Later on, my Dad realized that he was Muslim (My boyfriend didn’t mention his religion to my Father at the start of the relationship) and slowly started to disagree of me and him being together. But he told my boyfriend that he will trust him.
As I mentioned, me and my boyfriend are very open with each other, affectionate and he delivers all 5 love languages. The problem is: he has anger issues. I could vividly remember how many arguments we had, and every single one he would include the topic of “Breaking up” (even though it shouldn’t have to escalate that far). He would promise to change but wouldn’t (that would later change, but would go back to being angry after a while). Other moments would be like I’d be having a problem but he would go like “What about me? I’m insulted.” (Gaslighting?)
About 2 months ago, I mentioned that I felt like my freedom was slowly being stripped away as I have to take care if my Mother who has Early onset Alzheimers. My university hasn’t started until July 15, so most of the time I’m in the house doing chores, taking care of mom and just doing my own thing. He would make sure to visit when he can (he has uni and work, so sometimes I think I’m adding onto his plate but he would insist on coming so I let him) and would take care of my mother too. Later on, there was a topic about me moving out to go to his place. I thought to myself “would it be really worth it?”. Fyi, I’m Filipino, so I’ve been taught to honor your parents, never talk back, never disrepect, respect family values, blood is thicker than water, and that Family ALWAYS comes first. I was hesitant. I didn’t want to move out. The reason why he mentioned about moving to his place is to have more freedom, more closer to university, to the city, hospital, and that I can use his car. More convenient for me right?
As I told dad about my plan, you know it, he COMPLETELY disagrees with it. I would mention what he did to me, but it does include a bit of abuse. He doesn’t do that all the time though. I guess I got a bit brainwashed. As I told my boyfriend, he became mad at my Father and even asked me to pick between me or him. He went as far as calling my Father curse names (didn’t tell that directly, me and him were on call) and wanted to take me away. I told him that I just wanted a bit of comfort, but he asked me “How about me? Where is my comfort?”. Over next few weeks, we would keep arguing that if I did not move out, then our relationship was over. It was a repeated cycle of him gaslighting me, verbally abusing me and saying that I made the problem even bigger, I was at fault that the rs is over, etc etc.
We are still together until this day. But I can’t make myself tell him that I don’t want to move out. He said he’s not forcing me, manipulating me, or gaslighting me anymore into moving out, but you know that feeling that if you say no, he’ll still be disappointed? I don’t think moving out has be a problem or a cause for breaking up, right?
I know that there are other men out there that will treat me even better, more than what he’s doing, but I can be stupid, and think that he’s the last guy on earth to treat me preciously, and letting that go, it feels like he’d be the last person to be like that to me🥹 please give me advice! I really need it. Most of my friends are disappointed that me and him are back together after everything he told me. I know they’re just looking out for me, though.
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2024.05.20 07:24 Hour-Negotiation2597 I think I have a quarter life crisis....Or I'm being dramatic.

I (22, M) just finished college and am currently working as an Assistant Editor. However, my contract will end in mid-June, so I have to start looking for a new show (I have a 50/50 chance of getting employed).
Since high school, I have loved journalism and accounting but never thought I could pursue both. I always believed I was not smart enough, and the passion died off.
So, after I went to college and got a Broadcasting diploma, my passion reignited because I gained confidence in myself by helping with research, budgeting, and working on student projects. I plan to continue my education at a university, majoring in journalism and minoring in accounting. I will probably pick up a few extra accounting-related courses or work on the side while in university. Eventually, I hope to get a CPA certificate and an undergraduate journalism degree (if I complete both in time). Even though the two fields don't seem related, I enjoy both. Choosing one will make me wonder, "Did I make the right choice?"
Path A:
A/ Ontario has been challenging for a while, and it's expected to get worse over time (high inflation, increasing rent, and grocery prices).
b/ If I continue my education, I potentially will have to start paying off OSAP, which means more debt. Also, during college, my family helps pay off my student loan while I just cover the living costs, groceries, and a couple of extra courses I have to retake. If I go to university, my family will not pay for anything, and I will have to do everything completely by myself.
c/ What happens if I fail? Like, going through all the trouble and ending up with nothing or getting stuck (I don't know, maybe at a fast-food restaurant. I'm not saying it isn't good to work at a fast-food restaurant, but after spending all this time, I'd like to move forward).
d/ I will probably graduate when I'm 26 or 27.
Path B:
A/ Be happy with what I got, and not go to university and continue to work, find a job, and make connections as an AE. This would eliminate almost half of the problems I mentioned earlier, and I could climb the "ladder" and potentially become a post-production supervisor.
I understand that every decision comes with its own set of outcomes and consequences, and that unemployment or high inflation may be unavoidable. However, I'm struggling to choose the best path forward. This uncertainty is causing me stress and is beginning to impact both my professional and personal life. I have approximately one month remaining to make a decision, but I'm finding it difficult to come to a conclusion.
submitted by Hour-Negotiation2597 to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:24 Helenanan_796 Conflicted about college

I want to preface this post by saying giving you a little background into who i am. I am 19 years old girl from an African household (Liberian), and I'm surrounded by majority of the time African people in America(west africans). I was raised in America.
So I am coming on here because I just don't have anyone else to talk to about this sort of thing revovling college and what I want to do.
Before College I thought I wanted to become a cardiac surgeon because that seemed like a intresting career path. However as a venture through college I realized that I don't really like medicine or anything to do with Healthcare.
I find myself more interested in creative writing and pursuing a career in writing. Though I don't have enough resources to find programs to do to help me with my writing.
However, I've just been thinking lately and I have been feeling pressured from my family and friends to pursue a field in healthcare and to major in biology because it's more profitable and practical. They make a lot of good points.
They told me that my interest should be more of a second thing or a minor.
It's a lot to take in at all at once, and I don't really know what to think.
Especially so since they constantly compare the job earnings of people with bio degrees in the healthcare field compared to English degrees.
All of this just have me worried about my future after college.
Like I'm worried about being able to sustain myself after college financially and securing a job. I know this is a bit too personal.
I also want to give more context into saying that, I had a conversation with a biology advisor early this semester. I told her I wasn't really doing well in biology courses and didn't have time to manage my bio courses, specifically biology 13 and 15. And she bluntly told me that if I'm not doing well in the introductory courses of biology, I'll most likely fail the advanced courses, or at least not do as well. Because at the end of the day introductory courses are the building blocks to Advanced courses. And failing both will impact my GPA. ( I get C,C+, in my science courses but As in literature courses)
The most important things she told me is that if I'm not doing something that I love then I won't be happy as a college student.
But then again if I do something that I love then I won't I might not be happy for the rest of my life financially. How am I supposed to pay off student debt?
Do you guys have any advice on any of this?
I just feel super overwhelmed.
submitted by Helenanan_796 to africanparents [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:24 Ok-Sprinkles-6880 How can I become a better supporter to my friend?

Hi, all! I have a question about how to best support my friend. We both are neurodivergent. I have ADHD and am suspicious of autism. She has been diagnosed with autism. She’s the type of person that’s always happy to be there for other people, but it’s the opposite when she’s going through something. She likes to isolate and go quiet. It’s hard for her to accept people’s help or support. I’m the type of person that is usually very forward with my support. I think there have been times where that approach has been overwhelming for her. I’ve tried to tone it down. It seems like less is more when she’s upset about something.
What she does do though is occasionally post things like poetry that are expressing her emotions when she’s down. I don’t reach out to every single one of them with a comment when she posts, just occasionally. I’m always wondering what the right thing to say is to show her my support, but in a way that’s not overwhelming. It seems like opening up makes her afraid that people will run from her. I still don’t think she understands how much I value her as my friend, and we’ve known each other for over a year now.
She’s so caring when supporting me, but sometimes it seems like she’s also trying to support me in a way that shows she cares but doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I think we both worry about scaring the other one tbh. We’re both givers, but not good at receiving from others. Lol! Any advice for navigating a situation like this?
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2024.05.20 07:23 BbbeansonToast Need input and advice - ex moved on very quickly after a very serious relationship.

I've (21M) fairly recently gone through a breakup with my ex-girlfriend (20F) and shes moved on very quickly. The relationship lasted a year and a half and we were living together for aproximately 5 months before the breakup. It has honestly been one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Its been about 2 months since the offical split and its not been getting much better. What makes it so hard is how serious it was, we were living togeher, she would frequently tell me she wanted to get married in a few years, we would constantly talk about our future together. She was from France (I'm Australian and she had immigrated here for studies and is planning to stay). In November and December of last year we travelled back to her home country and I spent almost 2 months staying with and meeting the vast majority of her family. As you can imagine I felt as though this would be the one, we were very close, I loved her incredibly deeply, and even though we're young I thought she was very committed, and her words and most of her actions reflected this.
We had had a few hard discussions, one in particular in France, largely around my need for reassurance and sensitivity. For context, I was not controlling in any way, I understand the importance of friends, family and maintaining a life outside a relationship and didn't put any barriers up stopping her from doing this. In fact we had had multiple discussions about me helping her branch out and find more friends and connections in Australia, and I did everything I could to help her. I am however, a deep feeler, and attach quite strongly to people in my life and have a big need for quality time so in situations when she was becoming distant or I felt like I wasn't prioritized or appreciated I felt insecure and needed reassurance often. However, after the discussion, I became more aware of how this affected her and did a LOT of work to not require reassurance as much and accept her need for space. Following our trip to visit her family, when we got home, things started to degrade. She was steadily becoming more and more distant, and the majority of the time I was doing a lot of work in the relationship to make sure her needs were met and sacrificing mine. Despite this, everything still felt generally happy. As time passed though, she kept on becoming more distant and not communicative which resulted in me feeling incredibly anxious all the time. Eventually, we had a discussion and the idea of her moving out but continuing the relationship came up. Initially, I was on board with this, admittedly very confused as the idea of us moving in together was hers in the first place. I was more reluctant but it ended up working very well for me and was very happy living together. Eventually, we decided to keep living together, but give each-other more space through other means.
Now where shit really hits the fan: This seemed to be working well, but she went away for a weekend trip with some friends, and came back very very distant, telling me that she thought moving out was the better idea. I was understandably hurt by this and asked her if she wanted to even continue the relationship. She said she wasn't sure, and long story short we (mostly her) decided she needed a break for a few months. While she found a place, we kept living together but in separate rooms to simulate a break. As time went on though, she would come to me more and more, spending more time with me, and we had back-and-forth discussions about whether the break was really needed. She ended up deciding it wasn't and would just move out. She would often talk about how she was hopeful for the relationship, talk about our future with me again, and come visit my family again.
She went on another trip away one weekend shortly after this and came back cold, distant and a bit cruel. She basically said that she was lying and that she wasn't hopeful, didnt love me anymore and wanted to end the relationship. I was very very very hurt and confused, it was like she was a different person. She moved out a few days later. Throughout this process I was so kind to her, making sure she felt safe, ate well, and had someone helping her. Despite this she was cold and cruel and I somewhat regret that I treated her with kindness she didnt deserve.
Post breakup I haven't recovered in the slightest. How could someone who seemed so in love and committed just leave like that? and how could her feelings have faded seeming so quickly? I called her today because I was struggling with closure and she just sighted "sometimes people just drift apart" as well as "you were too sensitive, needed too much reassurance etc." She also moved on to another person less than a month after the breakup which makes me feel worthless, unloveable and that none of our relationship mattered. I just cant wrap my head around why? why did she move on so quickly? we had such a serious relationship and I'm hurting harder than I knew possible and she told me how much happier she is now. I understand that she probably checked out of the relationship a while ago, but to understand that is beyond me - especially after the things she talked about our future. I'm seeking help today, getting a referral to a psychologist but the hurt doesnt feel like it'll ever stop.
I just need some input from others. It really feels like my fault and that I've lost the girl of my dreams and to help me make sense of how she can move on so quickly. I loved her so deeply, even when she treated me poorly. I was the first guy that she introduced her whole family to, I was even included in family photos with them and they all loved me, she loved me. How can that fade so suddenly and with such poor reasoning. My family embraced her so much and myself and them did so much for her. I know myself well enough that I know I treated her so well which makes it so much harder to accept that she could just leave.
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2024.05.20 07:23 smithee101 feelings returning

So, to condense a longer story short, I'm (m22) friends with this girl(f22) that I met while studying abroad last year. We met via mutual friends in our friend group, hung out a bunch, got closer, I catch feelings, typical story. The whole time I hid my feelings from her since I could tell at the time it wasn't mutual. In doing so she accidentally hit with one of those "the worst she could say is no" moments that really fucked with my head and tested our friendship. At some point she knew that I had liked her, and I knew that she knew, so awkwardly we continued our friendship ignoring the elephant in the room. Luckily the friendship survived and I generally moved past it, but I was still unsatisfied with never having got proper closure. A few months after I returned home, I asked to have a call with her to fully sort out my feelings, my heartbreak, and the future as friends. Happily she obliged, and we mutually expressed thoughts, exchanged apologies at our mistakes and overall had a healthy conversation, that I hoped would bring me closure.
Since that call, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, but I didn't fully feel closure. It cleared up any potential awkwardness between us (on my end at least) and gave way to what was next. A few weeks after the call, the two of us started making travel plans to go and see our friend group in the summer, the first time seeing them since we both returned home. Over the past few months since we decided to make those plans, we've been called for hours, texting multiple times a week, just generally being good friends despite time differences and distance. I feel we'd bridged whatever distance was between us, and now we're back on track to stay good friends for a while.
The problem is that I think I have feelings for her again. Either that or subconsciously my feelings never went away and now they're coming back with her actively in my life again. I know that I'm free to talk about feelings-related stuff with her, but I don't want it to change the mood of our trip, or make her feel as if she has to act differently around me. While it takes 2 people to tackle this problem, she's only a human, and it feels unfair for her to carry the burden of my emotional state time and time again. It feels like closure is a myth to me.
So now to my question: how should I proceed? should I bring it up before the trip, or have the heart to heart convo in person? Obviously not everything can be answered now, but any insight or opinions would help me sort my thoughts.
TL;DR: I fell for a girl overseas. It went unrequited and I thought I got over it. we're planning a trip to see each other (and other friends) again, and after planning the trip I think my feelings are returning.
Thank you for reading, I appreciate it
submitted by smithee101 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:20 GrimmNeedles 31 [M4R] CA/Online - Long term friends?

Hello there, mysterious stranger! I am here to hopefully find new friends, as well as, new chats. Long term would be preferred, of course, but you have to start somewhere.
A little bit about myself: Avid movies and TV shows watcher. You too? What, you don’t say?!. Movie genres, that I like, are all over the place. Favorite genre, though, horror. Slasher films, Halloween especially, that would be my top one favorite slasher series, but I also enjoy stuff like, The Exorcist, Christine, etc. Psychological horror is cool also. Hereditary and Midsommar, I'd recommend both for that kind of horror aspect. But, outside of horror, I would say movies like The Terminator, Terminator 2, Dumb and Dumber, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Mob movies, strong 2nd favorite, like The Godfather Series, Goodfellas, Casino, etc.
Shows wise, it's all over the place, but I like True Crime shows, Drama shows, Animation, etc. Specifics wise, some would be The Twilight Zone (Original), The Sopranos, Breaking Bad, 1899 (Does it matter to complain about a Netflix show ending on a cliffhanger? That's what I thought), King of the Hill, South Park, Beavis and Butthead, The X-Files, much much much more.
Obligatory enjoyer of video games. I currently have an Xbox Series X, as well as, a custom PC. At the current moment, I’m switching between GTA Online on the Xbox, and then, Forza Horizon 5 on PC. I do have various other games on both Steam and also the Epic Games Launcher. I have TONS of games alone from the Epic Games Launcher, because of the free games, every Thursday, so maybe we can find something?
If you wish to try to chat, feel free to send a chat message (If those work?). A normal message works also, if chat messages are bugged and etc. I do have Discord also, but would prefer we've been talking for a while, before moving onto there, personally. Bye!
submitted by GrimmNeedles to r4r [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:20 Idealcosmos Can’t decide if optometry is for me…

Hello everyone,
As the title states, I cannot figure out if optometry is for me… I feel like I’m making things more difficult than it has to be? I hope I can find people who have similar experiences and can give some advice on what I should do. I’ve been on this indecisive journey for a couple years now and it’s starting to affect my mental health. I‘m at a point in my life where I just want a quiet/little life and be happy, but I also don’t want to regret my decision saying no to optometry.
I am 26F and a first-generation student who graduated with a biology degree in 2020. None of my family has pursued a doctor’s degree before, and so I’m kind of navigating through this myself. Ever since graduating I was able to obtain a contact lens technician position for about 2 years now, working at an OD/MD office. While in college I always had an interest in eyes, but decided against going to optometry right away, so I can obtain work experience and become a competitive applicant.
Reasons why I wanted a career in optometry: meaningful purpose to help others with vision, interest in science, good work-life balance, be apart of a community that I can relate to as I wear glasses myself, a good income (I will be grateful getting anything above 100k as I come from a low-income family).
Now that I’ve worked in the field, I’m starting to debate if this is what I want long term because of the patients… It’s almost like a love-hate relationship. I love working with the patients who are kind and grateful, but hate it when I have to deal with entitled/rude patients who’s not happy with everything I say or do. When it comes to difficult patients, it really drains the life out of me. I fumble with my words and my voice/hands shake due to the encounter. My anxiety rises and sometimes it’s those patients who I think about the most about. Sometimes I go home and continue to think about them. It drains me thinking about their follow-up because I worry about another negative encounter.
I try to be understanding of the patients, knowing that maybe they had a bad day, but sometimes I cannot put myself to understand why I have to deal with this kind of behavior as I did nothing wrong and I’m getting the end of the stick. I feel like I’m the most patient/understanding person ever, but I feel like as I continue to do this, I’m not sure how long that will last. Maybe because I’m a “contact lens tech” and not a doctor… maybe I’m the one getting the end of the stick? Does it get any better if I become an optometrist? How am I supposed to follow-up with these types of patients throughout the years knowing they might be disrespectful each time I see them? As a doctor, is this something you get used to over the years?
Then I have other questions that make me doubt myself: What if I can get into optometry school but can’t pass boards, what are my next options? Is a 300k student loan worth it? Should I pursue a different degree that wouldn’t have such an impact on my mental health but still earn the same income? Is the grass greener on the other side?
And I’ve shadowed 3 optometrists before, but I don't feel that “spark” where I know optometry is for me. I am a bit torn because I do enjoy learning about the eyes and a meaning/purpose in a career matters to me, but I feel like this job will drain me out long term because I’m such a people pleaser and introvert. Sometimes I find small talk difficult and it’s hard to connect/relate to patients outside of their eyes. Some days I don’t feel like interacting with strangers and I just don’t have the energy to care about their story outside of their vision. Some days I don’t feel like going above and beyond. Thus, I don’t feel confident that I’ll be a personable/relatable doctor. I’m worried this might affect my bedside manner and I’ll become that awkward doctor and that’s something I definitely don’t want. Am I not fit to be an eye doctor if I have these thoughts?
I feel this pressure to make a decision soon because I don’t want to finish school later than 32y/o and would like to settle and start a family right after school. Optometry/vision is all I know so switching careers completely is difficult. I wouldn’t know what other career paths would be a good fit for me.
submitted by Idealcosmos to PreOptometry [link] [comments]


2024.05.20 07:19 Hour-Negotiation2597 I think I am having a quarter life crisis... Or maybe I'm over dramatic.

I (22, M) just finished college and am currently working as an Assistant Editor. However, my contract will end in mid-June, so I have to start looking for a new show (I have a 50/50 chance of getting employed).
Since high school, I have loved journalism and accounting but never thought I could pursue both. I always believed I was not smart enough, and the passion died off.
So, after I went to college and got a Broadcasting diploma, my passion reignited because I gained confidence in myself by helping with research, budgeting, and working on student projects. I plan to continue my education at a university, majoring in journalism and minoring in accounting. I will probably pick up a few extra accounting-related courses or work on the side while in university. Eventually, I hope to get a CPA certificate and an undergraduate journalism degree (if I complete both in time). Even though the two fields don't seem related, I enjoy both. Choosing one will make me wonder, "Did I make the right choice?"
Path A:
A/ Ontario has been challenging for a while, and it's expected to get worse over time (high inflation, increasing rent, and grocery prices).
b/ If I continue my education, I potentially will have to start paying off OSAP, which means more debt. Also, during college, my family helps pay off my student loan while I just cover the living costs, groceries, and a couple of extra courses I have to retake. If I go to university, my family will not pay for anything, and I will have to do everything completely by myself.
c/ What happens if I fail? Like, going through all the trouble and ending up with nothing or getting stuck (I don't know, maybe at a fast-food restaurant. I'm not saying it isn't good to work at a fast-food restaurant, but after spending all this time, I'd like to move forward).
d/ I will probably graduate when I'm 26 or 27.
Path B:
A/ Be happy with what I got, and not go to university and continue to work, find a job, and make connections as an AE. This would eliminate almost half of the problems I mentioned earlier, and I could climb the "ladder" and potentially become a post-production supervisor.
I understand that every decision comes with its own set of outcomes and consequences, and that unemployment or high inflation may be unavoidable. However, I'm struggling to choose the best path forward. This uncertainty is causing me stress and is beginning to impact both my professional and personal life. I have approximately one month remaining to make a decision, but I'm finding it difficult to come to a conclusion.
submitted by Hour-Negotiation2597 to Advice [link] [comments]


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