Why do women spot 6 days period before a

Hi everyone, the title of the post sounds like a title for a scholarly article or novel, but I really just couldn’t think of how else to put it.
For some context, I’m fairly new to this community. I underwent an emergency D&C this past Wednesday after having an incomplete MA which unfortunately, led to me hemorrhaging. It was terrifying and traumatic. I lost a lot of blood. Apparently I made it into the “rare complications” club where this happens to less than 1% of people who have an abortion, per the nurse who put me under sedation. This was not only my first abortion, but it was also my first pregnancy. I was 7 weeks, with a supportive and loving partner, making a decision as difficult as you all very well know.
Since the D&C, I thankfully am feeling much better and have been able to process everything more in terms of my emotions. It was hard to do that after the MA when I was still feeling all the pregnancy symptoms but unsure as to why. The day after the D&C I felt like myself again. The nausea, heart burn, food aversions - every single symptom I had was gone. Even my breasts weren’t as tender as they had unbearably been.
This experience, thankfully, made myself and my partner of 4 years even closer than we ever have been. I’m very grateful for that. He’s been incredible throughout this entire process and has held my hand every step of the way. So, yesterday, as I’m feeling relatively back to my normal self minus some fatigue - I look at my partner, feel those butterfly feelings, and my immediate thought was, How in the fuck can you be horny after what you just went through? What is wrong with you?
I immediately felt confusion, guilt, shame, and an uncontrollable desire to feel close to him. I started googling: “sex drive after abortion” “is it normal to be horny after an abortion?” “Why do I have such a high libido after an abortion?” I really didn’t find much in the topic beyond a few Reddit posts and some old forums. It made me feel even more guilty, that clearly MOST women don’t want to be touched at all after something like that, but I couldn’t control what was going on with my body.
For me, my libido was fairly average prior to all of this, but for some reason yesterday I could not control my sex drive. It was driving me crazy for hours. I didn’t want to tell my partner because I was ashamed and embarrassed to be feeling how I was. I also know he’s been processing everything too and I felt like if I made a move he would be upset by it because why wouldn’t he be? That’s the normal response. I’m the odd one here and I’m the one who went through the damn thing, right?
Easy fix! I’ll just have some sexy self-care time, right? As long as nothing goes in and I just keep it external, I should be all good right? Come to think of it, the nurses and doctors didn’t mention anything about it. What does goggle say? Nothing, really. Mostly just websites and forums saying no PIV for a week or two. Nothing about masturbation. Will I be okay? Will my uterus fall out? What if I start bleeding even heavier? Will it hurt? Will it slow down healing or speed it up? Why am I even thinking about any of this at all?
Just more guilt. More self-shaming. More anxiety, more fear, and at this point - I’m STILL horny. Screw it. I didn’t read anything saying don’t do it, so let’s just do this, but wait until my partner takes a shower so he doesn’t know. And that’s what I did. I waited until he was in the shower so I could do it in secret because I felt that much shame and that much guilt. I was worried, but my sex drive was so high I truly didn’t care in the moment. That is, up until the moment where I hit the big O and there was some cramping. It scared the shit out of me. But. It was mild, barely anything, and the big O was probably the biggest I’ve had in a long time.
Immediately after I felt relaxed, relieved. Then I went to the bathroom and after having mostly spotted since the D&C, my stomach dropped when I saw bright red on the toilet paper. Look at what you did. What’s wrong with you. You’re going to bleed out again because you were horny? It will be your fault, again.
I spent most of last night scared, worried, scrolling google for answers, and feeling horribly guilty. However, I woke up this morning alive and well, back to the super light barely noticeable spotting. Then about half way through the day, the butterfly feelings returned. IM HORNY AGAIN?! WHY?!?
Without going through all the details, I went through the whole entire cycle I did yesterday again today. Now, I’m here typing this extremely long post. If you’re still here reading, I really appreciate that. I doubt I’m alone in my experience and feelings as it’s far more rare to have a singular, independent thought or feeling that no one else on the planet has ever had. However, I don’t see this experience talked about much and I’m not sure the reasons, or maybe I just wasn’t looking in the right places to begin with. But, I want you to know if you have felt this or are feeling this way after your abortion - it’s okay.
I know my hormones are raging. I know I just went through something horribly traumatic and it’s normal to have anxiety after going through something like that, along with the complications. I also know that everyone’s libido after this experience will drastically vary from person to person. I’m trying to remind myself not to feel guilty after that and if what I went through isn’t a shameful thing, then why am I shaming myself for any feeling I have afterwards or if I want my body and mind to feel good again with a little sexy time self-care?
Anyways, that’s it. Stay strong out there. You got this. Feel what you feel and don’t be ashamed for it either way.

Hi all, this is sort of a cross post, and I am not sure I chose the right flair so forgive me and let me know if not so I can fix it! It’s quite an add situation, which is why I was not sure which flair to choose…
Against what I now know as better judgement, I accepted a pretty odd job with who is my current roommate/landlord, which is how I ended up moving here.
The original terms were that rent and food would be covered in exchange for basically being their personal assistant, while also leaving me time to pick up part time work so I had cash inflow.
Took a little longer than I liked, but I found outside part time work toward the end of February, and by the end of March I was told we didn't have time for me to be able to have another job, and was forced to quit my other job on the spot (for fear of losing my housing).
Once again, I'm cooking and cleaning for this person, as well as helping them with anything they needed for their fairly successful online business, including shipping, customer service, and odd jobs similar to research and data entry relating to the industry (sorry to be vague here, but in the off chance they see this, I would really like to do my best to protect my identity because it is a fairly small and close knit industry).
I was told I can't be actually paid, but as an amendment to our agreement, they said they could let me use their credit card for whatever I needed (which honestly ended up not being super true in the end).
I am essentially in a position where I have to ask someone else to do ANYTHING at all at this point, and I asked to take an entire day off (which would be literally my first day off since I got here in January) to spend it with someone I met here, since given the conditions the last month and a half have been a lot, and incredibly suffocating.
They said yes, then about 8pm on the day I was told I was allowed to be off, they texted me and informed me they didn't believe our arrangement was working for them and they have packed my things and will leave them outside and have changed the locks.
I asked if this would include the things that were purchased for me in lieu of actual payment, and was told they would "reimburse" me for the things instead. I told them simply I am not able to come at the moment, because I am not able to get back there.
I have only been paid monetarily sporadically or have had tips they collected in my name from their customers dispersed only at their discretion, and every time I have tried to leave the house for even a few hours before this there have been issues.
As far as I am seeing it, though, I was fired/locked out on a day I received approval to be off from work, for not being at work (we work from the house). I have plans to speak with local legal aid first thing in the morning, but have been trying to do research independently and am becoming increasingly more confused.
Which laws has this person broken? I’ve been researching this tirelessly since I received the message and just need some advice/guidance about what I need to have and know to be prepared to deal with this situation legally.
I feel like the internet is leading me in 17 different directions here.
Any help appreciated!

This is my first time here. Situation I am describing is a very known situation at many households. But this is happening to me AGAIN and AGAIN.
So, I have an ailing Father in law, completely paralyzed with tracheostomy tube, feeding tube and a catheter, whom we are caregiving in a Tier 2 City since 5+ years, I work from home . I have suffered a missed miscarriage and had a D&E after that in September 2023 at around 12 weeks marks. SInce then we are trying and not had a success. My sister-in-law lives in same city so she comes to support the care. I am a secondary caregiver as I am the only one who is earning. My husband is on career break as the Staff is not permanent & load of caregiving is huge. My mother in law expired in 2020.
My sister in law since marriage was a person I always had doubts on. I make friends for life once I get to know them, but here even if the dynamic was weird, I gave her lots of benefit of doubt & she proved me wrong always. She and my MIL were best friends. They had never included me the way a daughter in law should have been included. So because of my mothe r in law, the home was always under her control. Whenever I used to come, I was being indirectly commented on our stuff lying here and there(we were not having any room, so obv it was to be taken in and out of bags), SIL used to say in a really really bad tone blabbering and going here and there " why do people bring stuff if they don't know how to place" the etc. in short I was never allowed to even touch or know things in house. It has to be done by my sister in law always. For smallest of things, she was always given preference. Please don't take me wrong, but I am from a home where we are 2 sisters and obv I was being trained to handle all the things so that I never ever become dependent. And here I am in a household, where I am being told, "you won't be able to do this" to everything I wanted to attempt. All what I had to do is cooking, which I didn't know much. Btw I was the only working lady that time.
Anyway I don't want to go to my MIL's drama because that was HORRIBLE and I thank God every day for relaxing me!
This is not the first time SIL has done maligning/ bitching, she has been involved to malign the image. It has never happened anywhere that people don't come to talk to me, because I generally listen to the problems and I am amicable! I have lived in Chennai, Mumbai, Pune, but it is only here that I couldn't foster any relationships with anyone! It always was a thought in me which I didn't know had a solid cause. I caught her tarnishing my image on camera (we kept it for FIL) blabbering things like : "She has eaten crab" (Kekde khati hai) which I haven't, I have had fish 2-3 times in my whole life, these guys are purely vegetarian, which I was as well, but I had just shared it with her as a thing! "She is putting pressure on my brother so that we have a fight, and now he came to beg sorry that I did a mistake"(Ary masi, ese hi koi nai karta, jab tak upar se pressure nai aata , and aaya tha maafi maangne fir, ki mujhe maaf kar do, ye to chahti hai ki humari ladai ho jaye and toot jaye relationship) (which I never ever do, I come from a joint family and such adjustments are inbuilt in my nature)
When my husband and herself caught covid, they were isolated, I was at my mother's place and rushed back to support them and fully supported them for 2 weeks managing my work alongwith. Later on during 3rd wave of covid, I had covid and I didn't even was asked for! I missed my parents a lot! She gave the most vile response in that conversation with her Masis. "She got Covid!, She got covid!, Now she will make sure to come to our father's room" (That had broken me that time) (Ab ho gaya usko!, ho gaya!, Ab to aur ayegi papa ke room me) (with an intention to kill him)(I have been dealing with a tough situation where it affected my marriage the most and I had to voice my needs to them as noone was paying any attention to my needs and I wanted to have a family of my own during that time. It was 2020-21, I was 33)
I was a scared bird, I was so so scared of confrontation previously that she exploited a lot out of me. Their home is in a place where people have never gone out of the city so the thoughts are so weird when they see me doing it! For example : employing a maid! Now Imagine ! Her masis are equally involved. When my mother in law was dead, and the rituals were happening, people flocked and populated our home. MIL had 5 sisters, all of them bombarded in the tiny home! and then one of them started saying, "We didn't even get tea! She gets up at 7!"
I am harmless creature, who has never picked up fights, She is argumentative and of a nature where she has to win always which is through talking. I avoid it. If I talk, by hook or crook she will manipulate so that things are in her favor and last sentence is hers. She even called my parents and said "aap logo ko thoda encourage jitna karte ho aur karna chahiye" without my knowledge , and they were speaking for me! and I was at a different city. That was my tipping point! I came back, ignored her for 3 days finally bursting on her. She argued that "are they nothing for me", I said you are not allowed to call without my knowledge, you have to go through ME!!
Coming to problem:
My sister in law just had a baby who is 6 months now. after my miscarriage! 2-3 days before, she left her phone at our place,and asked to forward a number from her mobile. My husband forwarded it and then sifted through her chats. He got into a chat with their cousin sister where my sister in law described me as
"I stopped you to go and made her (me) to go because she puts evil eye on my kid and my baby has stopped drinking milk, you are of pure heart, but not everyone is like that, we dont know what's going on in other's mind"
"Ary behna! Bura mat maniyo, wo nazar lagati hain HAMESHA, Ab bechari doodh bhi nai peeti dhang se, tera dil to saaf hai, lekin sabka nai hota"
I was aghasted by this chat comment. All I gave was a genuine love for the purest soul who is infront of us!
All I do is my job in the only room at this house. Previously I was so disturbed that I took psychologist's support! Can you believe it! SIL problems to psychologist!! And After she had a baby, she became better I thought so, so I forgave her and interacted, went to her home as well. Then I backtraced and found another incident where I could connect the dots:
I was deliberately asked to prepare tea while at her home, her masi were also there, and her masi said, Let me prepare the tea, and she said I want to have her from only her hands!! (While in kitchen I found it weird but I gave her space and didn't come out), Later in remembered that she was feeding her baby! HOW PATHETIC! I am so so hurt by such things happening around me! One of her masi, couldn't bear children and "her nazar" has been talk of town always, another masi she was seperate from all sisters and minded her own business, she has "money" according to all of them(which is for sure hard earned and they are jealous that she earned, kept up with sasural, she didn't give a f**k to such chalak sisters ) her nazar is considered "killing/deadly"! She has been a very kind person when I met ! So when I heard about them from SIL I couldn't believe she is saying all that about her own masi! and now when I heard something about me all I could think of is 20 years in future people will still not talk to me because I put nazar! I thought of confronting her husband as he is humble , talking to her is exhausting and I feel talking doesn't bring any conclusion. I thought of never going to their home, I don't know how feasible that is, so my action plan is to never handle her baby and comment on her like : "dont put your baby with me, she will get nazar" . Or if her husband asked why are you not coming, then I will reveal. But I don't know I am getting anxious, something has shifted inside me for good.
I know this is a difficult phase of my life and I am trying for pregnancy can't leave this place until his father's death. I had been away from family in past and that made me more depressed and abandoned as my husband is crazy for his father and he left everything for him! So I couldn't even ask him during all these years of my needs. He was faced by his mother's death and an ailing father so naturally he had a reaction. I had survived a very very difficult phase alone, we both had different journeys for past 4 years. God has been very kind that my job was there throughout to support my family!
Any suggestions on how to deal are appreciated.

So we have 4 teenagers going off to college or military currently. Plus 2 littles ending prek and 3rd grade this school year. I'm starting a new teaching position at a new district next school year. 3 of the next 4 weekends are planned out for major events including a week long camping trip at end of week 4 and family reunions, visits to my son in the in the navy at his a school. Total chaos. So my SO says the front end of the truck we pull the camper with needs to be replaced before all this travel. No problem. You create an eBay account and order things yourself. So they do. They entered the address wrong. North state Rd instead of South. So 5 packages from different sellers all routed to some other random non existent spot. Plus they ordered the wrong size tires. I don't know why I didn't just do it myself. Its been nuts. I guess women are better at that kinda stuff than men because our brains are different. I'm just tired of being in charge of everything that has to do with technology or appointments etc. I know he does the other stuff I don't want to do but dammit man

This girl, let’s call her Emma, only joined our friend group because I had set her up with my boyfriend’s college roommate. We had always had mutual friends but were never that close. At one point she suggested we become roommates, and while I was initially excited, I learned she was applying to be an RA so I declined because I did not want to be left searching for a roommate last minute. Little did I know, that this would have caused her to possibly not like me. It first started small, I have ASD and am sensitive to loud sounds. Our friend group would hang out and play card games and she would yell and become extremely competitive so much so that I decided I would avoid playing games with her altogether and not say anything. Then she would only be kind to the guys in our friend group, particularly my boyfriend. She made comments about how she was so short and wanting to compare hand sizes with my bf. I felt uncomfortable but shrugged it off. One day, a couple in our friend group asked me for help as her boyfriend didn’t know what to get her for Valentine’s Day. I asked my boyfriend to help him and thought that was the end of it. Later, as I was sitting with another friend group Emma was in for lunch, she criticized me for being pushy and getting involved when I wasn’t asked to. I corrected her but was weirded out that she would bring that up in front of so many people. My boyfriend this entire time was encouraging me to not judge her as maybe she didn’t mean to do these things. At other lunches, she also would criticize her boyfriend and my other friends to her friends who didn’t know them that well. I was extremely uncomfortable and decided to schedule a group talk so we could fix this situation. Everyone in the friend group talked about their issues with her and gave her the space to explain and address her issues with us. We asked that she at the very least address the issues with us first before talking to people we didn’t know. She agreed. The next day however she came up to me and listed more issues she had with me that was all from her eavesdropping so almost none of it was accurate. She suggested I was homophobic even though I am I have expressed to her multiple times that my sexuality is complicated as I am attracted to women but have been SA’d. She also started faking ASD I had previously told her my symptoms. For instance I struggle with change, like a routine, and can get overstimulated. She then lamented about having to change her wallpaper. The next night she started hitting herself and acting dramatic to Lofi music when I have seen her listen to it before. She then threw temper tantrum on the floor for two hours claiming that her routine would be changed When previously, she had done something similar and did not act like this. My boyfriend even took note and said he was uncomfortable. As someone who has this disorder, I was extremely upset. Then everything sprung out of control because my friends were continually telling me things she had said about me. One day somebody came up to me and told me she was cheating and flirting with other people. This person lived in the dorm beside her and showed me a screenshot as proof. However, the profiles were removed, so I couldn’t determine if it was her or not. Being worried about it I asked some of our mutual friends if they knew anything. I maybe shouldn’t have at this point. I was worried about her boyfriend. In the end, we told the boyfriend that we didn’t know for sure but someone had mentioned cheating. I couldn’t give her the benefit of The doubt anymore. Soon, there was a miscommunication and she couldn’t go to an event. My friends are planning event event. at that event, one of my friends male ended up, kissing her boyfriend. This was because of jokes they were continually making and wasn’t serious at all. In fact, both of them were dating women. If anything, she was encouraging these jokes and said quotation marks on multiple occasions that they should kiss. my other friend took a picture and sent it in the group chat after asking Emma‘s boyfriend if it was OK. She stopped talking to us after that point. I asked her friends if they knew anything about this and expressed confusion relating to the situation. I sent a message and asked her if she could talk to us about why she was upset with us as she had already talked to her boyfriend. After 24 hours and much debate , I sent her a message and said I no longer wish to continue our friendship, but we did not need to make it a serious big issue and I would just prefer if we dropped it and didn’t have any ill feelings toward each other, and talk about each other badly. She screenshotted this message and sent it in the group chat. She then attacked me and said that we were never her friends and said that I had called her homophobic, toxic, and said a wide variety of things that I had never said to her about or to anyone before that. I soon noticed were people were ignoring me because of this. I only corrected what she said to the people I cared about and tried to ignore the situation. I don’t know what to do as she is actively trying to destroy my life.

This is in reference to this recent post on Cosmere. The title is intentionally provocative, and the word "debatable" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. Still, I was surprised how fervently most commenters defended Kaladin. It seems to me that Kaladin is constantly doubting himself and struggling with what is right, and so too should the reader. There are many things to talk about, which commenters in the original thread have pointed out, but in this post I want to focus on his role as a soldier in Amaram's army, which is, in my opinion, his biggest moral failing.
The basic argument is this: even a non-pacifist should agree that a war requires very good justification and defaults to being unjust otherwise. After all, wars involve a lot of killing. A soldier, then, has a moral duty to avoid participating in unnecessary wars, lest he become a murderer. Amaram's wars are clearly pointless and unnecessary, yet, Kaladin continues to willingly participate.
He does this by intentionally separating people into "us" and "them," and protecting only the "us."

There were six spearmen here, all wearing brown. Kaladin spun among them in a wild offensive rush. His spear seemed to flow of its own accord. He swept the feet out from under one man, took down another with a thrown knife. He was like water running down a hill, flowing, always moving. He could not be stopped. [...] Odd. There hadn't been a breeze before. Now it seemed to envelope him. All six enemy spearmen were dead or incapacitated.

He protected Cenn -- a laudable achievement -- but did so by killing 6 people. Compare this with the appearance of Shallan's brother, the shardbearer:

"NO!" Kaladin bellowed. "NO!" Dallet's body fell back to the ground, eyes seeming to catch alight, smoke rising from them. The shardbearer cut down Cyn and trampled Lyndel before moving on. It was all done with nonchalance, like a woman pausing to wipe a spot on the counter. (Ch. 47, WoK)

It is unsurprising and very understandable that Kaladin would detest the man killing his friends. But the intensity of this hatred is nevertheless ironic, especially considering that the ease with which Helaran kills Kaladin's squad is eerily similar to the ease with which Kaladin killed the spearmen. Each of those six spearmen was "Dallet" to someone. When Helaran kills Kaladin's friends, we feel Kaladin's pain, his anger, and his grief, but he himself had just caused such grief moments before, without a second thought. We should not overlook this, just because we did not see the Kaladin on the other side cry out in pain as our Kaladin slaughtered his friends.
I think most people would rightly point out that Kaladin is the most honorable and good he can possibly be, given that he is a soldier fighting a messy war. I would agree -- but it is not a given that he has to be a soldier. Even after coming to Amaram's army:

He stood watching as [the surgeon's] apprentices folded bandages. Kaladin had once idly considered getting wounded so he could join them. [...] Kaladin hadn't been able to do it. Wounding himself seemed cowardly. (Ch. 47, WoK).

It would be one thing if Kaladin carefully weighed the choices of protecting by killing, or refusing to kill, and reluctantly made the choice to kill for the greater good. But this is not what he does:

"How can you hurt people, Tukks? They're just poor darkeyed slobs like us." "I think about my mates," Tukks said. "[...] My squad is my family now." "So you kill someone else's family?" [...] "Don't worry about the war. Or even the battle. Focus on your squadmates, Kal. Keep them alive."

Following Tukks's advice, Kaladin forces himself to ignore the humanity of the enemy, focusing instead on protecting his friends. This works, until the battle in Kholinar, and Kaladin is forced to reckon with the fact that the "enemy" could be his friends too.
I do not mean to suggest that Kaladin is a bad person. But there are characters (Renarin, Lift, etc.) who are good in the sense that they have not killed unnecessarily, and Kaladin, who is surely responsible for many orphans, widows, and grieving parents, is not one of them. This automatically makes him a morally gray character. In the end, this is a good thing! Kaladin would be a boring character otherwise. Kaladin uses Tukks's crutch of partitioning people into groups: the weak, the innocent, and friends and allies are to be protected, but others not fitting these categories can be killed in service of that protection. Throughout the series, this justification becomes weaker and weaker, until it eventually cracks in Oathbringer, causing him to freeze, and plunging him deeper into a depression that he spends all of RoW recovering from. It is only because Kaladin is a morally gray character that he is able to have this character arc at all.

The answer might be obvious to some of yall but hear me out. I, (17 Female) have had a rough childhood. Always abused and screamed at. I am convinced my mom actually hates me. a few years back, when I was 6 or 7, my step dad beat me with his belt. Multiple hits as I cried in the corner of my walls. Through the whole thing, I only yelled for my mom to help me. I knew she was nearby. My yells should have definitely reached her. After he stopped and walked away while cussing at me. I cried for 30 minutes and then went to go find her to see why she didn’t come. I couldn’t believe what I saw. She was on the couch the whole time SMILING and LAUGHING while talking to her friend. I asked her why she didn’t help me. She acted confused as if it was meant to happen to me. She then said I deserved it for being bad and to go away. I stood there with my puffy red eyes. tears dripping down and that’s when it hit me. I now knew she definitely would trade me for anything that day. As years passed by things turned worse. One thing good happened though. I got stronger from all the abuse and fought back. one thing I can’t handle is her screams. She hurts me. we fought a lot throughout the years, she always guilt trip me and acted like a victim when my step Dad gets involved. Even when she started or hurt me more, she would always say I hurt her more. One time she even drew blood on my skin with her own nails. Then laughed it off and walked away. I pretty much hate her every move. When she breathes, when she laughes, when she walks, etc. A Lot worse happened. But today I’ve had enough. My friend came over unexpected and I was so happy. We hung out and she excused herself to the restroom. the amount of shame I felt when she told me what happened in indescribable. She said she saw bloody undies On the ground. I looked at it and gagged. No one should be ashamed to have their period but this was just disgusting and shameless. I told my friend to kindly leave and that I need to speak to my mother. when I came in my moms rooms, she started yelling at me. she said “WHY WOULD YOU LET HER SEE” or “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT”. I was so confused and asked her what she’s talking about. She said I let my friend see her Underwear and kept blaming me. I’ve had enough and told her that she’s unhygienic and disgusting. It sucks living with her and having to shower everyday because just the thought of her makes me feel the need to shower. I said more but I don’t wanna get into it. My step dad came home and yelled at me. Wouldn’t get out of my room. He kept getting close to me but I didn’t want to get harmed so I just told me to please get out while crying. and guess what? He still wouldn’t. I pushed him out and shut my door fast as he pounded on it. I cried out for him to go away. After an hour of my arms being sore from holding my door so that he couldn’t come in I just cried while sitting on the floor. I heard my mom laughing and telling him that he put up a great fight. I am sad. Miserable even. I have one job that doesn’t pay well along with school to pay attention to. I’m trying to graduate early and I’m almost 18 in a few months. why am I trying to graduate early you ask? Well I have this friend in another state whos dad is a college professor. He said he can get me Into my dream college fast if I come to his state. i believe him because he did it before except I had to turn it down because I had other plans in the past that didn’t involve going to college. But now i know that college is my only freedom, escape, and future. I have 896 dollars saved up So far. I need enough to buy a flight and then rent an apartment. I hate to ask anyone for help but my cashapp is $Iambm9 and every cent helps. If anyone wants updates let me know.

Let's just get to the gist to it. There's this boy, who we're going to call glasses. We both have fourth period math together with each other and sit right beside each other. We sit in groups of four in the class, and our table is centered towards the back of the room. Every day I had to help him with his work because he has trouble with understanding the lesson we're in. It's not like I'm a super smart student, but at least I understood the material. It wasn't a big deal for me. His grades overall for math and science are terrible. It's not a secret, the teacher has even made jokes before in the class about his grade. Everyone else at our table was pretty much the same way, so I felt bad that he had to sit with all of us.
I'm not sure how we got on the topic, but at one point, I was basically doing his work for him because he said he didn't understand anything, and in all honesty, I don't think he even was trying to do it. He had to have had some knowledge about what he was doing though, because when he finally did his own work, he would get every answer wrong. That didn't stop him from making dumbass remarks, using his phone to look up the answers to the questions, and watching tiktoks on his phone. The only reason I would have been helping him out, is because it makes the class more enjoyable. If you're just sitting there by yourself, the class can be really boring. He has this habit where he would just say the most randomness statements. For example, once we were in the middle of doing an assigned online lesson, he just randomly turns to me, and tells me I'm gay. He has no filter on his mouth. I don't pay him any attention, as I have never felt attraction to a guy.
Not saying he's ugly or anything, he's pretty average looking. I've seen worse looking people. He's got this nice taper haircut, and looks good when he keeps it freshly trimmed, he wears those clear glasses, and has a pretty nice big nose. Not in a bad way, but a good size, and shape. I don't think I've ever seen him without a black or grey hoodie. I'm pretty sure he has an addiction. He has a pretty average body too, a little skinny, but it suits him. It's not like it's bad or anything. I don't judge anyone on their looks. We're both about the same height, with him being about an inch taller, maybe? His personality is probably his most unique..? Interesting? attribute. He's not one to hold back from sharing his thoughts. Sometimes I have to put up with him making fun of me and my personality. Sometimes in a playful way, but I have a few traits that can be picked on. One thing that is probably his biggest flaw is his over confidence, and the fact that he thinks he's the best at everything.
He's constantly bragging about things. He's the kind of person that makes you want to punch him. Not the worst thing in the world, but not the best. When we first started having conversations, it was pretty casual and chill, but then it escalated into him getting to the point of being aggravating. He would say the stupidest stuff. He would make fun of the way I looked, my clothes, how tall I am, and just the way I spoke. I'm not a super social person, so it's not that hard to make me uncomfortable. But still, when he wasn't annoying me to the point of begging the teacher to move my seat, I could have some decent conversations with him. He wasn't all that bad. He just didn't have the filter between his brain and his mouth. That's something I respect about him. It's a good trait to have. He's the type of person that will always be honest, and won't sugar coat his words. Even if it might be considered offensive. We'd have a lot of occurrences when he would say something funny. I can't even count how many times he made me smile, and even laugh. I was never embarrassed or ashamed about laughing. Not once.
I can tell he likes the way I laugh. Whenever he gets me to laugh, he'll be staring at me with this big grin on his face. He doesn't hide the fact that he wants to stare at me. When he says something funny, and he gets my attention, he'll give me a smile. It's not a forced one, it's natural, and I can tell that he genuinely means it. Sometimes I'd feel him looking at me and I'd catch him staring. It was usually a quick glance, and he'd turn his head away. But I could see him looking. At first I was confused, but I eventually got used to it. I'm not going to lie, it does make me nervous. I don't like being stared at. It makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. But I never told him that. He was probably just trying to get my attention.
He's got a very strong sense of humor, and a lot of the things he would say, even the most serious and inappropriate things, are actually really funny. The way he speaks, and how he carries himself, I can tell he has a lot of self confidence, and a big ego. He's not afraid to show it either. It's almost like a form of self expression. It's hard to explain. The way he expresses his personality, it's something you have to see. The funny thing is, he's not even a good student. I have no idea why he was placed in a class that was obviously above his grade level. The only reason he's probably passing is because the teacher lets him goof off. The way he talks and acts, I'm pretty sure the teacher knows that he's a big distraction to the class, and doesn't want to have to deal with him. So she gives him the benefit of the doubt. I have no idea why he even cares so much about his grades. He always talks about how he doesn't care, and that his grades don't matter. The thing is, his behavior shows the opposite. Every day he'll come into class, and sit there waiting for the teacher to finish instruction, and when we began to work, he asks me if I can help him. Sometimes he'll just copy my answers. I've never said no, and have always helped him out. I've tried giving him hints and suggestions about the material, but he just doesn't listen.
It's not like it matters to me anyway. If I'm not helping him, he'll ask another student. He's a real pain in the ass, but I don't blame him. If I were in his situation, I'd be the same way. He's not the best student, and probably one of the dumbest kids in the school. The funny thing is, is that he acts like he's so much smarter than me. Like he's better than everyone else. But he's not. He's just a stupid, annoying kid who's not very smart. But he tries. And that's what's important. So once again, we're sitting at our table, doing an assigned lesson, and everyone else is talking to the table mates or doing their own thing. I'm pretty sure the teacher was helping out other students who was stuck on a question. We were sitting right next to each other. I was doing my work, while he was on his phone and had barely even began the assignment. That's when I felt a hand rubbing up and down my thigh. I was wearing some heavy baggy jeans, and could feel his hand moving up and down. I looked and stared at him while removing his hand. He looked at me with this knowing grin, and turned his attention back to his phone. I couldn't even concentrate at that exact moment. He was just acting like nothing had happened. I could feel my heart beating fast and my face was hot. I don't know why, but it was.
A few more minutes went by and the hand returned to my thigh. I tried shaking it off, but he wasn't having it. He wasn't letting go. So I gave up and left his hand there. I couldn't even finish the problem I was on, I just sat there letting his hand rub up and down my thigh. I looked over at him, and he was just staring at me with a grin on his face. His hand was just gently rubbing, up and down, up and down. Then he stopped, and he slowly removed his hand. He turned back to his phone. I don't know what I was thinking, but I reached my hand over to his thigh. I didn't look at him, and just placed my hand on his thigh. It was a pretty firm squeeze, and he flinched slightly. It was almost as if his entire body stiffened. I practically froze up since I forgot to do the whole rubbing motion. It was probably the most awkward moment of my life. It wasn't the way I wanted to react, but my body did what it had to do. I started slowly, but firmly massaging his thigh, and could feel him starting to relax. His eyes were glued to his phone, and he wasn't paying attention to the hand that was rubbing up and down.
Eventually, I removed my hand as the end of class was nearing. He and a few other students started standing up and gathering their things. I remained in my seat, as I felt a slight stiffness in my pants. My heart was racing, and I could feel my hands starting to get sweaty. I wasn't expecting anything like this to happen. It was awkward, but I had this.. lustful feeling in my stomach. As I sat there, he went on the other side of me and slyly pressed his crotch up against my shoulder. I could feel heat radiating from his body. It was obvious why it was so warm, and I knew what was happening. It was a weird sensation. It's hard to describe. I could feel the heat from his pants on my shoulder. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it was enough to get me really flustered. I was starting to feel a little anxious. After that, the bell rang and everyone quickly gathered their belongings and left the room.
It was a weird feeling, and I couldn't even focus in class. I could barely think straight. I couldn't even finish the lesson we were assigned. I didn't know what to do. I was just caressing another guys leg. What was even worse was that the guy I was caressing, was the same guy who was always making fun of me. I was starting to panic. Was it wrong to have done that? Am I going to get in trouble? What if he tells someone? The only reason why I did it was because I was curious. What if someone saw us.
I'm really confused and I don't what to do. We've only have a week left of school, and then we'd have summer break. I want to ask him for his number. And I don't know why I want it. To talk? Hang out? Something else? What do people usually do to have fun with people like him? Should I ask him for his numbers?

TLDR: My flight was overbooked, so I was stressed about Delta not being able to get me to my destination and making me figure out a way to get there myself, as well as leaving me stranded for a night in NYC. A Delta supervisor then followed me after I was done speaking to her and walked away from her to harass me about how I should have nothing to complain about. They also sent my bag to the wrong country despite me warning them multiple times beforehand that it was mistagged and should not be going to that country at all, but they fully ignored my concerns and gave me false information until it was too late. Avoid delta at all costs.
On Thursday, May 16, 2024, I was scheduled to fly to Stockholm with a layover in JFK. I made it to JFK with no issues, four full hours before my next flight, which was DL 204 from JFK to ARN. Once the plane and gate agents had arrived, they started asking for volunteers to go on the next flight to Stockholm as they had overbooked the flight. Because I had no seat assignment, I became increasingly worried as it got closer to the scheduled departure time and the compensation amount kept going up, meaning they still needed more volunteers. Once everyone who had a seat assignment boarded, I asked the supervisor at the gate if they would be giving out any more seats. She said we would have to wait and see, to which I said “Okay, thank you.” A few minutes later, I went back to the desk to ask a different gate agent if I would get the compensation volunteers are getting if I end up not getting a seat, as pretty much everyone had boarded and I still did not have a seat. I asked her this politely from the other side of the desk she was sitting at. She refused to look up from her computer or even acknowledge that I was speaking to her, despite her clearly not being too busy to at least look at someone who is respectfully speaking to her and having heard me. I had witnessed her do this to multiple other customers who tried to politely ask her reasonable questions about the status of our flight. She refused to even look at any of us and smirked while ignoring us as if it was amusing to her. You learn when you are a toddler to look at someone when they are speaking to you and at least acknowledge their presence when they ask you a reasonable question. I calmly told her, “This is incredibly unprofessional, by the way,” at which point she started to argue with me. She claimed, “You asked my supervisor the same question and she already said she didn’t know, so I don’t have to answer you,” as the supervisor nodded in agreement. I told her, “You can still at least acknowledge when someone is speaking to you,” and walked away as I was already fed up. I had asked her a completely different question than I had asked the supervisor, and regardless, purposefully ignoring paying customers in this way is disrespectful and completely inappropriate. I was baffled as to how she acted this way in front of her supervisor and thought this was okay. But once I talked to the supervisor for longer than the 3 seconds I spent asking her that one question, it became clear to me why the gate agent acted this way.
Eventually, another gate agent told me I had been assigned a seat and that I could finally go and board the plane. Once I got down to my assigned seat, someone was already sitting there. She had volunteered earlier to give up her seat, but due to miscommunication within the team of Delta agents, she had been told to go back to her seat and that she no longer needed to volunteer. I went back to one of the agents, who I watched put me on the volunteer list without actually verbally telling me anything. I never actually said, “Yes, I want to volunteer.” I was told to go back up to the gate, so that the gate agents can help me rebook my flight. Once I got up there, I repeatedly told the agents that I needed to be in Stockholm by Saturday morning, and they reassured me each time that there were flights available for me to do so. One agent had found an itinerary for me, but then was told to go by the supervisor, as the supervisor apparently no longer needed as much help anymore since the overbooking situation had been figured out (at least in the supervisor’s eyes). As I stood at the desk trying to get someone to help me, the supervisor eventually told me to come over to her. At first, she told me there was an itinerary that she could book for me to be in Stockholm by Saturday morning. I asked her for the details, then she said that itinerary was no longer available, despite her having told me thirty seconds prior that it was. She then started helping a different customer, despite not having resolved my flight issue, and I watched her continue to help other people before returning to me. When she finally got back to me, she started barking alternate destinations at me, without giving me any time to process or look up if I would be able to get to Stockholm if I was sent to that alternate destination. She eventually said Amsterdam, and as I searched for transportation from Amsterdam to Stockholm, she told the person she was on the phone with, “I don’t know, she hasn’t responded to me,” while side-eyeing me. It had been less than a minute since she told me the alternate destination, and I had told her I needed a second to see if I would be able to make it to Stockholm with alternate transportation before giving her confirmation that I could be put on the flight to Amsterdam. Eventually, I was able to find a KLM flight that would get me to Stockholm from Amsterdam, which she was no help in helping me find. In fact, the other customers who had volunteered helped me figure this out, as they stayed with me for emotional support, even though their own situations had been figured out. As they saw that I was a stressed teenage girl that had been put in this situation, they empathized and showed me kindness, something the actual Delta employees refused to do. Once I saw that there were available seats on the KLM flight from AMS to ARN, I told the supervisor that I would take the flight to Amsterdam. Once this was confirmed, I asked if I was guaranteed a spot on this new flight, since I did not want to end up in the same situation. She told me with an aggressive tone “Once you are booked, you are guaranteed a seat.” Confused, I responded “I booked this original flight months ago, but did not get a seat on this flight.” This is when she raised her voice to yell at me, “No, you volunteered to give up your seat. If you really wanted to be on this flight, I would’ve told the other lady to get off.” I did not knowingly volunteer. I was put on the volunteer list without anyone asking me. To add on, when I saw they put me on the volunteer list, I was scared to say anything as one agent had already been argumentative with me and if I did not let them put me on the volunteer list, I would have gotten significantly less compensation and still not gotten a seat on the flight. I really had no other choice than to let them put me on the volunteer list (again, without actually asking me at any point), but the supervisor acted if I had made the decision on my own. I would’ve preferred to be on the original flight, but I never had that option. I then just replied, “Okay, thank you.” and walked away from her.
I would also like to add that throughout this entire interaction, she repeatedly told the other employees around her how much she did not want to be helping me anymore and how she just wanted to go get dinner. Further, the new flight to AMS was the following day, and she did not even attempt to help me get accommodation or transportation. As stated in Delta’s policies available on their website, if you are inconvenienced for greater than 4 hours and overnight away from your home or destination, Delta is meant to provide complimentary hotel accommodations or provide a voucher for accommodation, as well as providing transportation and vouchers for meals. I am a teenage girl that she left stranded in NYC for a night. Luckily, I knew someone in NYC that I was able to stay with, but had I not had that option, this would have been a horrible situation to put a teenage girl in. She did not care at all, and to her, rebooking my flight was good enough, despite it being the next day and to an entirely different country than my destination. Further, Delta is meant to rebook you on a flight or combination of flights to your original destination or next layover, which they did not do. I had no plans to be in Amsterdam, until Delta forced me to go there as they gave me no other viable option. Delta is also supposed to “provide notice explaining our obligations and the compensation you will receive if you are involuntarily denied boarding,” which the supervisor and gate agent(s) refused to do. I was deliberately ignored when I asked, as I described earlier.
After I had ended the conversation with the supervisor and walked away from her, the other customers/volunteers who were supporting me asked what my situation was now. I started to explain to them, “I have been put on a new flight to Amsterdam and booked a flight from Amsterdam to Stockholm, but I am still a little stressed because I don’t have an assigned seat on my new flight either. I might call Delta customer service later just to confirm that I will be able to get on this new flight.” As soon as the supervisor overheard that I may call customer service later, she stormed up to me, following me to where I was after I had walked away from her desk, to yell the following in my face: “Are you saying the customer service I provided wasn’t good enough? Are you not happy with the $7000 voucher?” I was grateful for the generous voucher, but still rightfully frustrated by the situation. I started trying to respond, telling her, “No, it’s fine, I just-” I was going to say that I was still just a little confused and stressed and wanted extra confirmation, but she cut me off. She raised her voice even further to say, “I’m not done. Let me finish.” At this point, I felt scared, as she clearly had no problem arguing with and berating customers, and I did not know how the situation may further escalate. This is when I told her, “Okay, bye,” and told her how unprofessional she was, as I walked/ran away from her as quickly as I could out of fear that she would follow me again to harass me further.
In addition to this, once the flight had left, I was also told that my bags had been taken off the plane and would be available for me to pick up at JFK’s baggage claim. When I arrived at baggage claim, they at first could not tell me where exactly my bags were, but told me to wait as they should be coming. After about 30 minutes of waiting for the bags to arrive at baggage claim, I went back to the Delta help desk at baggage claim, where they finally told me that my bags had been retagged and checked in to be put on my new flight to Amsterdam. When I tracked my bags online later that night (Thursday night), I saw that one of my bags, which was my main luggage with all of my clothes and toiletries, had been tagged to be on a KLM flight to Copenhagen after the flight to Amsterdam. I truly do not understand how or why this happened as I never had any plans to fly to Copenhagen. Once I noticed this, I called Delta customer service, as well as Delta’s baggage service department to tell them that it was tagged wrong and should not be going to Copenhagen. Both assured me that neither of my bags would go to Copenhagen and that I would be able to pick them up in Amsterdam. When I woke up Friday morning, I called again before my flight to Amsterdam to really make sure that my bag would not end up in Copenhagen. I also texted Delta’s baggage department and talked to a representative in person, who all reassured me that neither of my checked bags would end up in Copenhagen and that I would be able to pick up both of them when I land in Amsterdam. I get to Amsterdam on Saturday morning, and one of my bags comes out to baggage claim, which was the one that had been tagged properly, while my main luggage (that I warned Delta numerous times about having been mistagged) had arrived in Amsterdam but was immediately put on a plane to Copenhagen before I had even gotten to baggage claim. I was extremely frustrated because I knew this was going to happen, but Delta dismissed and ignored my concerns repeatedly until it was too late. A KLM employee was finally able to help me solve the problem Delta created by marking the bag to be delivered to my hotel in Stockholm. By Saturday night, my bag had been confirmed to have arrived in Stockholm. By Sunday afternoon, when my bag still had not been delivered to the hotel, I tried to contact Delta again, as they were still responsible for my bag, despite the KLM employee being the one that actually helped me. When I contacted them, Delta continuously made excuses saying it was probably too late to intercept the bag when I called earlier, which is why it ended up in Copenhagen, as well as saying that since the delayed baggage report was made on Saturday, they still were not in the wrong as it was only Sunday. One representative also hung up on me for saying “This is fucking ridiculous,” which it absolutely was. I understand that I probably shouldn’t have said fuck, but she kept making excuses and telling me information I knew was false, so I was entirely fed up, especially after the nightmare Delta had already put me through. To be clear, I had been calling Delta about their mistake since THURSDAY NIGHT when they still could’ve easily made sure it was tagged properly and/or intercepted the bag before it was sent to Copenhagen. Instead, they ignored me and lied to me because they were too lazy to even try to fix their mistake when they still could. My bag being sent to the wrong country was entirely preventable if Delta had actually cared to listen to me about my concerns.
Absolute worst travel experience I have EVER had. I have been taking at least 6 flights each year literally since birth and have never been treated so poorly by an airline, or any company ever for that matter. Truly don’t know how everything went so wrong and why Delta could not do a single thing right in this entire process. They continuously made things worse through their employees’ behavior and refusal to actually do something about their mistake(s).

17 yr old, graduated school early, currently working with counselor for employment assistance which led to recommendation to LearnKey. No “IT” classes or clubs in school but always interested and enjoy tinkering and troubleshooting with both hardware and software. Have minimal web development knowledge, like surface level stuff( HTML, CSS, Java, C). Not necessarily interested in app or web development & have no qualms about learning about it, but would like to be involved behind the scenes, like maintaining server racks and networks with occasional end user troubleshooting.
Currently reading the A+ book from Mike Meyers and honestly a lot of the stuff clicks and makes sense, with the occasional thing I’ll have to look up; will prob read the book twice and mix in some YouTube video tutorials to fill in gaps (Messer, Network Chuck, Tech Gee, & even LTT coming in clutch) .
Don’t know if any of this makes sense or even the right place to ask, but figured I’d ask; how did you get to where you are now? (Most likely than not, help desk / very entry level, which is fine, absolutely do not mind; would like that as well, boots on ground and learn ropes before trying to run. However most “entry level” job postings I’ve seen ask for 2-4 years experience, among other things). If you could go back and do it differently, would you? and how? Any time or resources you spent learning something you wish you would’ve focused on something else?
LearnKey offers what they call signature programs. And am interested in their Entry level cyber security program, which includes: 1. CompTIA IT Fund 2. A+ 3. Net+ 4. Sec+ 5. EC Council Ethical Hacking Essentials (EHE) 6. Certified Ethical Hacker (CEH)
and additionally a entry level cybersecurity digital forensics course which includes those 6, plus: * EC-Council Digatal Forensics Essnt. (DFE) * Computer Hacking Forensics Investigator (CHFI)
Alternatively on shorter time frames & different curriculums, a course containing just: * CompTIA IT Fund. * ITS network Security * ITS cybersecurity * EC Council Network Defense Essentials
And another one with only: * CompTIA IT Fund. * ITS network Security * EC Council Digital Forensics Essentials
Ideally, would opt for Advance level networking that includes: * CompTIA A+, Net+, Sec+ * EC Council Network Defense Essentials (NDE) * Certified Network Defender (CND) * Cisco Certified Network Associate (200-301)
but I know well enough I’m not anywhere near “advanced” in terms of knowledge and skill. Although, I am offered the opportunity to “upskill” down the road so that’s why I’m leaning on an entry level program (besides not wanting to overestimate myself). I’m also definitely not trying to take shortcuts or rush through any of the learning process (that’s kinda the part I enjoy most, well after actually applying what was learned), so don’t mind “taking” time to learn. The time will pass regardless.
I know it’s a long post, I’ll most likely cross post to reach different opinions and views. Basically I’m just asking for some guidance and experience from those that know more than I do. Not to familiar with the ITS certs, and could be wrong but from the research I’ve done, have been led to believe the CompTIA ones hold some more weight.
Long term goal would like to aim for, (junior) System / Network Admin / Specialist, LAN Admin / Specialist, IT Specialist or something along those lines. Would the courses, if any, qualify for any of these roles?
Any input or advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you and have a great day.

I binged the whole series in 3 days (i work remotely and have usually nothing to do during my night shifts lmao) and Upload really got me hooked. Despite it's big flaws, it still was a fun show to watch, not sure how i didn't know about until now, the premise is something that is really up to my alley.
But yeah i thought i wanted to share some of my thoughts.
First, fuck Matteo. That guy was just such a toxic insecure ass creep.
I think the series lost some of its magic after the first season. Maybe it's just me who loves when romance is at is "edging phase". It was satisfying to see Nathan and Nora finally meeting up in real life and being a couple and acknowledging and overcoming the difficult parts that happens with long-distance partners.
I was also happy that the show did keep making fun of or showing the faults with AI and the enviroment it provides, but i still think it could've shown lot more, like the psychological aspects of it.
I loved the growth on Ingrid. It was really really slow but i think it was fitting how slow her character progression was, i'm happy that her character didn't go to full evil manipulate snob girlfriend and instead progressively got better and we saw her trying to understand herself more and through that, becoming a better person.
Loved the outgoing gag how most of the calls ended up with the other caller feeling like the call ended way too shortly for them.
I think this shows strength is in its characters, the story is fun and entertaining, but with lot of holes and weird decisions in it.
Before i get into talking or ranting about weird decisions or of the plot holes in the show (please correct me if i got something wrong or missed something), i want to say my piece about the ending when Nathan called everyone and said there's only one of him left.
I think both Nathans still exist. I know many think the backup Nathan is the one existing because when Nathan called, we could see a gray background and backup Nathan was running towards it, despite being dragged away from it in the end. I think showing Nathan with that background is just a red herring. I'd say that it was the real Nathan calling and backup Nathan is being held as a prisoner or a hostage somewhere because he might still be a valuable source of information to the big bad company.
Now, about things i'm kind of WTF about

1. I know i said i hate Matteo but i still find it weird how after he died, dude was just forgotten. Nora still had history with him and all but no mention of his death after his death scene.
   
2. Jamie being dead, or, supposedly at least. Like, they saw him the memorial stuff about Nathan and Jamie and it was just brushed off. Shouldn't that been a bigger deal? They were just like "oh, he's dead". He was Nathans best friend and Nathan with their last call did make it clear that they can still clear things between them eventually so it's weird that Nathan didn't seem to care at all.
   
3. Noras dad. First season made such a big deal about him dying and how much it affects Nora and how she has already lost her mother and all. Season 2 and 3 just forgot about him and his dying ass is probably still sitting in the woods with no proper healthcare. Nora didn't even mention him and or worry about her family and all in the season 2 and 3.
   
4. The cult/the bludds. In the end, it was just Nora, Matteo, and Ivan doing stuff. There were some cult goons with them at the body factory but yeah. The weird ass cultish priest was also just a plot thread that didn't lead to nowhere.
   
5. Ingdrid in season 3 was broke and poor but still afforded her luxurious apartment and was able to keep pay for backup Nathan to stay in Lakeview ? Wtf lol
   
6. Writers just really forgot Fran. What even was the point of her. Last we saw her, was that a car she was in drove Fran to her death and no mention after. Super weird and stupid.
   
7. WHY the FUCK was real Nathan at the courthouse in the season 3 last episode ??
   
8. Why didn't they tell Ingrid maybe not to mention that there is a backup Nathan and real live Nathan ??
   
9. The kid from season 1 was just really forgotten after making it seem like he'll be in a big minor character role lmao. I don't really mind tho, didn't care for him but still weird.
   
10. AI guy being out in the real life was just totally forgotten.
    

All in all, fun lovely show, nice balance between comedy, drama and mystery. Some really bad writing there and there but the premise is interesting enough to forgive some of it.
Will be looking forward to season 4.

My grandparents (especially my grandmother) are so mentally challenged (including my mother) to the point where I don’t and can’t establish a connection how it is i even come from these people. For example today an argument happened between my grandmother and I. I have been dealing with a chronic medical condition called tmjd and I’m miserable every single day of my life. Today moments ago we tried to have a conversation about it that ended in disgrace as it normally does because my grandmother has such a significant lack of comprehension it’s almost unrealistic. We try to talk and it starts out by her asking me if I’m ok. I go on in an aggressive way to tell her no. I can’t even bare the idea of talking to her anymore because she disgusts me to the point of disbelief which is the reason I aggressively tell her no. Mainly because our conversation end up no where and what she says makes no sense at all sometimes. At this point after 6 whole years of dealing with this condition and wanting to die because of it she still has the audacity to say why. I don’t even know if it’s audacity at this point or if it’s just such complete ignorance. How after 6 full years of conversation after conversation, doctors after doctors. Getting injection therapies and so forth can she be so belligerent to keep asking me why. Same thing with my mother . My grandmother is 75 now but she has been like this her whole entire life. So it’s nothing new what so ever. I got this condition when I was 22 and haven’t been the same since. I used to be a regular gym goer. I was into powerlifting and believe me I was a strongman not just your average powerlifter. I had super human strength. Could have made worlds strongest man competition easily. I was healthy as an ox. I just don’t understand at this point how they can’t tell a difference. I mean my physical appearance is even dramatically different. So back to that. So I began by asking her how she can’t tell a difference in my physical appearance and condition. She says you look like you lost weight. I’m thinking ok but I’ve obviously lost muscle I have bags under my eyes I sit in the house all day and don’t move from my bed and all you have to say is I lost weight? Then I say I used to bench press so and so weight. I say what’s that mean to you that I can’t do that anymore. She says “it means you look good” …….WTF? I’m thinking to myself like this lady has absolutely lost her fucking mind what does that even mean. How does that mean that and how does she even think that it means that. It sounded like gibberish just came out her mouth. I feel like I’m talking to a bunch of two year olds all the time. Over the course of my entire life she has always said nonsense similar to this but in other ways with other conversations. My mother as well. I just feel completely lost at this point they have made me absolutely hate them. I hate them so much that if I wasn’t in this state of condition I’d pack my things up and leave and never look back and change my contact information and all. They are all so mentally challenged that I have no idea how they made it in life. It’s absolutely astounding. My grandmother has never had a job in her life. My grandfather owns a bar and my mother runs it. But for Christ sake I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m in misery every single day of my life and I want to die. My family does not by any means make my life any easier and they help me in no way other than giving me a place to live. They don’t even know where to begin to help me even if they wanted to. I just feel like every time I talk to any of them our conversation feel child like. It’s like I’m the adult and they are the children. I just want to hold and intellectual conversation with my family but I know they are not capable of it and it’s saddening. But mainly frustrating to the point where I want to hit them. It’s not even about trying to have an intelligent conversation (because they aren’t capable) but it’s about even having a regular one which is difficult to them. It always ends up in an argument where they are saying things from emotion and not actually logical in anyway and so then it’s turns into this victim mentality situation and it’s just an absolute fucking mess. Or someone says something that’s utterly gibberish. It’s pointless to talk to them anymore and I have nobody I can speak with about it. It’s so awkward just being around these guys and not talking to them through the entire day. There’s times where my grandmother will constantly insist on talking to me me but I straight up totally ignore her. And she won’t understand that that’s what I’m doing and she’ll hold an entire conversation basically by her self but she’ll imagine she’s talking with me. I mean it’s absolutely crazy what I go through with these guys. If I want to ignore my mother she’ll turn hostile. But if I know it’s one of those days for her that’s she’s going to say some dumb ass shit I have two choices which is engage in conversation with her whether I like it or not and it still turns into an argument or ignore her which will turn into an argument. It’s a lose situation with her all the time. She’s also an alcoholic and won’t admit it. I just wish I had some help in my life but there isn’t any. I have hundreds of videos of these guys acting belligerent and senile. I just know if I ever get better I’ll always have these to reflect on and remember as to why I went my separate way and decided to never talk to any of them again. Any suggestions other than move out. Talk to a therapist or go for a walk. I also have about 8 disc herniations from a car accident. So makes it even more difficult to get out. I don’t have a job because I’m so disabled from having a constant head and the car accident. I just don’t know anymore. Trust me if I had the option to move out I would have a long time ago. I hate them so much. I mean I genuinely from the bottom of my soul hate them. Very badly hate them. I wake up in disgust. I look at them with disgust. Everything disgust me about them. And they don’t get that. They don’t even act accordingly to other emotions to towards them. If I knew someone hated me as much as I hate them I’d never try to establish a connection with them just based off of that. But they act as if they never get into an argument with each other one moment and then the other are screaming their heads off at each other. My mother does 90% of the screaming. She’s screams like a maniac. I understand everyone has yelled before in their life but when it comes to my mom she’s screaming on a regular basis. It’s made me absolutely despise her. I won’t miss a single one of them when they die. They have no respect for me or understanding that I’m going through what I’m going through. I can’t express how much I hate them. My stomach feels uneasy when I look at any of them let alone want to talk to them. My mother nonchalantly goes on with her life right after an argument and then will talk to you moments later as if it didn’t even happen. My grandmother does the same. I just want to feel better so I can move on in my life. I forget to mention my dad has never been in the picture. But from my understanding after talking to him a few times I understand exactly why he’s not apart of my life. I mean we talk over the phone. But I understand why the relationship between him and my mother never lasted. Just by what he tells me about my mom, I can relate the same experiences. Makes total sense and I swear to God, I do not blame the man.

I feel like I had a really good 7 days after bubs was born. I felt an overwhelming sense of love towards her. Then day 8 hit and it was like my whole world turned upside down. I look at her now and feel like I have absolutely no connection with her.. this was my worst fear and I feel like it’s come true. I feel like all I do is breastfeed, cry, change nappies, listen to my baby cry and sit on the couch. She sleeps for 2 hour periods but wakes for an hour and a half between naps (I know this isn’t terrible) but I feel so exhausted.. I’m crying on and off. One minute I feel like I’m in control, then the next I’m a weeping lunatic. I don’t even know why I’m crying. I miss my old life. I miss sleep. I miss seeing my friends. I miss doing the food shopping. I miss having the motivation to put the washing on. I’m petrified because I’m only at day 11 and I’m reading everywhere that this could go on for at least 6 weeks. I don’t know if I can do this for that long. I feel like this is going to last forever and then I feel guilty because I have this beautiful baby and I’m not even happy to have her. I feel like I’m spiralling and there’s nothing there to stop me 😭

TW for sexual, physical, medical, emotional, and religious abuse, childhood sa, suicidal ideation, and self harm
This past week has been incredibly difficult so I decided it would be good for me to write a letter to my mom to keep for myself during my healing process to get everything out and it's been very cathartic (all fake names used). Part of my healing journey has been sharing my (extremely personal) experience with others who understand, hence why I'm sharing this here, and maybe it'll give someone some strength knowing that I made it out. I hope everyone is kind to themselves this week and was able to treat this holiday as a holiday for themselves for surviving their abusive moms!
Dear mom, Happy belated Mother’s Day. My Mother’s Day was spent being upset and anxious so I decided to write this letter. This letter is so incredibly difficult to write and even more difficult to read back to myself. Moving away from my university and back home during COVID was genuinely one of the most difficult things I have done in my life simply because of all of the repressed memories that flooded back into my brain every single day I was in that house. I used to resent the pandemic for forcing me to live in an environment that made me want to harm myself every single day and die every other day, but I am now thankful for the clarity that it brought me as I don’t think I’d have the foresight that I have now.
There is a lot that I want to say. I am angry, bitter, resentful, and traumatized from things that you have done to me as a child and also as an adult. Growing up, you’re never able to fully recognize what is healthy because whatever you experience will be your barometer for normalcy. I thought for a very long time that thing were normal but thank God I now know just how truly fucked up so many of my childhood experiences were. Not a single day goes by where I don’t think about the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that I went through. I am haunted every single day by things that you did (and some things that you didn’t do) and hope that one day I will be able to heal from what I experienced.
I grew up being close to my cousin Chloe (a year younger than me) who was obviously very bitchy, mean, and abusive. This fact isn’t something you weren’t aware of as I know a fully grown adult would be able to see how she treated and talked to me when around you and come to the obvious conclusion that I should not have been allowed to be around her. She bullied me, called me names, physically assaulted me by pushing me, pulling my hair, and sitting on me with my hands held behind my back until I couldn’t breathe, forced me to bathe in scolding hot bath water that would burn my skin, making me undress and make fun of parts of my body, and forced me to watch things that she knew would scare me. This is the same time that I started having insomnia and struggled in school due to anxiety. It’s also the same time I remember my sound sensitivity starting. Do you remember my childhood friend’s mom Amelia and how protective she was over my friend, Diana? Diana met Chloe at my 9th birthday party and Diana went over to her house for a playdate and Chloe did something to her. She physically reached over and groped Diana on the privates. I knew Amelia IMMEDIATELY prevented her daughter from ever being around Chloe again. I also knew that it's possible she mentioned this to my aunt, but I'm not positive. I know that Amelia is the type of mom to prevent Diana from reading Harry Potter because she thought it was a bad influence on her due to being “demonic”, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she made you aware of what Chloe did to Diana as she knew that I spent a lot of time around her. I doubt that what Chloe did to Diana was ever kept a secret from you. Chloe also forced me to do sexual things I didn’t want to do from roughly the ages of 8-11. One time, we were in her kitchen and she pulled out a knife and said that she was going to stab me. By then, I knew she just wanted to scare me so when I had no reaction, she put the knife away. I was terrified of what would happen if I said no to her so I went along with whatever she wanted. She would go into the bathroom and tell me to follow, would lock the door, and make me take off my clothes and let her do things to me and forced me to do the same things to her. I used to think that you had NO IDEA about this until I remember you saying the words- “you were an amazing kid and never had any problems until you got a little older. I always wondered if something happened.” Who the fuck says that to their kid? Yeah, something did happen and it wouldn’t have happened if you protected me!!!! You fucking idiot!!!! I remember being in our new house and taking a shower with you when I was about 8 (which was VERY inappropriate and should NEVER have happened at all) and saying something that clearly made you uncomfortable. I remember the exact face you made and know that any normal, healthy adult would have done something about it and made sure nothing was happening. They would have made sure I was SAFE, and talked to me about safety, but nothing was said or done. You have failed me many times, but this one is the most painful. Not only will you need to live with the fact that you knew about my abuse and did nothing, but I will have to live with the fact that my mom knew "something happened” and didn’t care about me enough to protect me. I look at my beautiful niece Hallie, and imagine not protecting her like that and want to vomit. I cannot fathom how a mother would have the thought “I wonder if something happened to my daughter to case a massive behavioral change” and NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! You didn’t talk to me, never asked me if Chloe was doing anything, or anything at all. If I even had a minor suspicion that something was happening to Hallie, I would IMMEDIATELY do something about it because THAT IS MY JOB as an adult in her life. You failed me and deserve to know that this traumatized me and gave me PTSD. I am NOT autistic, no matter how much you WANT me to be so you can go around and gain sympathy for “having an autistic daughter” rather than owning up to the fact that you caused what “went wrong” with me.
Not only did you not help prevent me from being molested by my cousin, you also added to my sexual trauma by forcing me to use the giant egg monistat insert to treat a yeast infection when I was 11. I was ELEVEN and you had a bright idea to force a HUGE foreign object into my prepubescent body even though you were fully aware I could have easily gotten a prescription for a pill to swallow from a doctor. I was scared. I had so much pain and itching and needed a mother to hug me, tell me it’s going to be okay, or at the very least, EXPLAIN what I had and how we were going to fix it. You didn’t do any of that. You told me to lay down and proceeded to try and administer medication that is NOT meant for children 12 and under due to the physical damage it could cause. I was clearly in pain and scared, but you kept trying anyways. At any point, you could have stopped and taken me to the fucking doctor, but nope. You then got frustrated that “you couldn’t get it in” and told your 11 year old daughter to shove it inside herself. Then you left the room. I hadn’t even had a period yet, let alone know where my vagina was but you sure felt the need to yet again abandon your parental responsibilities and place them onto your kid! Miraculously, I put it in and wobbled out to lay on the couch because I was in physical pain from BOTH the infection and YOU, but because a child’s body isn’t able to properly fully insert the medication used (which once again I’ll remind you is meant for girls 13 and up), it came out and got on the couch because you didn’t give me a pad. And rather than prioritize your own daughter’s health, safety, wellbeing, and comfort, you were more upset about the stain on the couch and yelled at me. I will never forget in all of the years that I am alive how ashamed and disgusted I felt standing behind you watching you furiously scrub at the stain that I caused (actually, that YOU caused since this never should have happened in the first place!) and feeling a huge flood of guilt every time I saw that couch stain. One of the best days of my life was when we got a new couch and I never had to see that stain again.
All of this caused me to develop anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts and ideation, self harming behaviors, having out of body experiences where I dissociate, and panic attacks amongst other things. YOU caused ALL of this and you fought tooth and nail to convince me that it was MY fault for being broken. “There’s something going on with you,” and you made it your mission to never take any responsibility for any of the trauma that you caused. Not only did you ignore all signs of abuse and sexually assault me yourself, you bullied and helped a family friend Sharon bully me when I was “being mean” to (her daughter) Faith. I was treated like I was a mentally ill monster who couldn’t be trusted and always got in trouble whenever Faith shed a single tear because I was “mean to her”. Faith cried at LEAST 15x a day, and I was blamed every time she decided to say I was the reason. You allowed a monster (Sharon) to ABUSE me and had the incredibly wise idea to start passing along what shit talking you two would say about me TO ME, a 13 year old girl. I was THIRTEEN. I was A CHILD. And yet, you came crying and complaining to me about how tired you were of hearing Sharon say I was being mean to her daughter when you could have TOLD THE OTHER ADULT IN THE SITUATION TO STOP. It never was my responsibility as a child to try and make another adult stop abusing me by “behaving better.” There was nothing wrong with how I was behaving. You never once tried to help me, you always blamed anybody and everybody else for your failures. I would come and ask you for help when I was struggling and if you didn’t care, you would pawn it off to somebody else- “go talk to your older sister” “talk to your therapist about that” “I don’t know what to say except to tell you to pray about it” and when I came back saying praying didn’t magically fix my depression, you told me to pray harder. I guess you really thought it was a skill issue rather than a diagnosable health condition! No wonder I wanted to die! Hahaha! I’ll never forget the look of disgust on your face when I was sobbing hysterically and struggling to get out the words when I told you just how badly I was affected by Sharon and said how you played a role in helping her harm and abuse me. “WELL. I’m SORRY if you think I didn’t protect you enough. I know what that feels like because my parent’s took my sister’s side a few weeks ago when we were having an argument” (as FULLY GROWN 50+ YEAR OLDS arguing and bitching LIKE CHILDREN!) No, mom, it’s not the same. I was a child and not only did you not stop an abuser from harming me, you joined in. You allowed her access to me and you passed along what horrible things she said was wrong with me. “SHARON said she thinks YOU’RE BIPOLAR. Do you think you are?” “Sharon told me that you’re having AN EPISODE and are being mean to Faith! Show me your phone!” “Well, I just don’t understand why you keep bringing this up when it happened so long ago. I just hope you can forgive her and move on.” You’re fucking disgusting. Should I go into detail about how many times I asked you to not interact with Sharon more than you needed to and you proceeded to try and force her into my life more? You KNEW how uncomfortable I was with you attending Faith’s wedding and yet, you cared more about how you looked and not only attended, but hosted both her wedding and wedding showers. I have always wondered why you never cared how I feel until I realized that you prioritize yourself and how you look to other people above anything and everyone. There is a clear pattern of behavior-

• When I was 17 and you were painting my fingernails and berating me for wanting to visit my friend up in Boston to see a concert together because “you just didn’t understand why I’d want to do that” and I started crying. You rolled your eyes and said “you better leave now if you don’t want my next client to see you crying because her appointment is in a few minutes.” You cared more about having your random client seeing me cry and potentially thinking you’re a bad mom than comforting me.
• When I was 13 and we were saying our nightly prayer the night that I had my “therapy appointment” (aka, you and my “therapist” chastising me for writing in my diary that I was having suicidal thoughts), when you were praying you said “Dear God, please help (my name)… and… pLEASE HELP ME!!!!” Clearly, YOU were affected more than I was even though I was the one wanting to die because of you. Wow. Your life is so hard!
• Telling everyone around you that I “have problems” and am “really struggling” so you can gain an ounce of sympathy. The way that your friends come up and talk to me is baffling. They treat me like I just got home from the psychiatric hospital.
• Laughing about me with my friends in high school when I was out of the room- “hahaha my daughter is sooooo weird hahaha”
• When I was 18 and you called my “therapist” (who did NOT get my consent before doing this and violated her ethical guidelines) after I moved out and stopped talking to you, you got her to help you write a list of “rules” to force me to stay in contact with you. They consisted of requiring me to “talk to you, dad, or my sister at least 1x/day” so you “knew that I was safe” aka, you wanted to control me even though I was an adult and not living in your house. I was perfectly safe, and yet you made me sound like I was doing drug deals in the morning, prostituting myself after lunch, and had plans to commit felonies later that night. I went to school, ate, and went back to my apartment. You had no right manipulating me into talking to you by using my therapist, dad, and sister against me. Pathetic.
• Telling me to go do my runs on a strange man’s property instead of the road because it’s “safer.” Dad said that this man who I’VE NEVER MET told him that “there are bad people out there who will kidnap her and do horrible things to her, SO INSTEAD she should run on MY property!” Not sketchy or rapey at all, right? And completely dismissing me when I said that made me uncomfortable by saying “my dad knows him”? Lady, do you know any rape statistics? Clearly not, because you’d then know that only 7% of assaults are strangers while 93% are family members or acquaintances. NINETY THREE PERCENT. The amount of times that I’ve mentioned someone made me uncomfortable or had a massive affect on me as a child and you’ve replied with “Oh, well did they touch you?” People don’t have to touch me to traumatize me. You’re pathetic for thinking that.

I’m not mad at Chloe. I don’t feel any anger or ill will towards her at all. She was a child just like I was a child. She was failed more than I was failed. No child acts that way and assaults other children without learning that from somewhere. I blame her parents for what happened to her. I blame YOU for what happened to me. I vividly remember things that my aunt would say the same time this was happening about little girls and their bodies and I want to smash my head against the wall. Children are to be protected above anything and everything else, by you didn’t. Do I hate Faith and think that she’s a bad person because of what happened when we were 13? No. I fully blame you and Sharon. The amount of adults that have failed me in my life keep me up at night. I think about how different my life would be had dad been more involved and seen what was going on and taken me away from you. I am angry with him for that. I dream one day I will be able to sit down with him and tell him everything I have written about and he will hug me, support me, cry with me, and apologize for not being there more to protect me. But who knows, he might defend his child abusing, mentally ill wife and say I’m making up everything. Who knows.
Do you want to know what my sister said when I told her all of this? She apologized to me for not being 15 years older than I am so she could have raised me instead. I want you to sit here and think about how fucked up that is. My own sister wishes she could have taken me away from you so you couldn’t have abused me. I imagine the pressure she must have felt having to grow up while also raising her mother and sister and I sob for her. I’ve sobbed for me for the mental anguish and torture I experienced at your hands. I’ve even sobbed for you because I can’t imagine being even a fraction of how fucked up you are to resort to abusing and neglecting your child- a child you begged to have. A child you had trouble having and prayed for. Embarrassing.
I’m never going to have a relationship with you again. If God is willing, I will never have to interact with you ever again. Saying that phrase “if God is willing” is ironic because you forcing me to pray my problems away rather than helping me led me to not believe in him. How can I believe in something that also neglected me? I’d sit in my dark bedroom night after night praying and sobbing for him to help me. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but I felt broken and alone. I now know that I was a child praying for God to take away my PTSD, and that is not possible. My heart breaks for that child.
You’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and human being. I’m truly shocked that I survived you and your abuse. I’m surprised that I didn’t ever try to kill myself to try and get away from you because you’re a vulture that prays on innocent people. The only important people in your life are people you think will give you something or will make you look good. That’s why you refused to ever cut ties with Sharon, you knew she was sexually abused as a child and you couldn’t POSSIBLY NOT be her friend because you need her to be your “friend,” or rather, your token sexually abused as a child friend. I genuinely hope that you get better and become a normal healthy person but I won’t ever be around to see it. I hope you feel even a fraction of the pain and abandonment that I have felt my entire life. Happy Mother’s Day, but today isn’t Mother’s Day for me, it’s Daughter’s Day. Moving far away from you one month ago has truly saved my life. Instead of trying to survive, I am enjoying my life. I would have died in that house. I get to finally celebrate being away from you and celebrate myself for staying strong and fighting when I could have easily given up. You once told me “you feel like I HATE you!” to guilt me into fawning over you and telling you how much I loved you, but now you get the opposite. I DO hate you and hate how you have permanently changed me and I wish to never see you again. Instead of praying for the “God forsaken, atheist, lost, evil, liar, miserable, spiteful, hateful, disgusting, mentally ill, “autistic” daughter, pray for yourself. Pray for God’s forgiveness for emotionally, medically, physically, sexually, and religiously abusing and neglecting me. You deserve to remain in your "clueless" state of "having NO IDEA what you did wrong to make her stop talking to me!" for the rest of your life.Happy Daughter’s Day.

I’d like to start off saying that I’m not looking for critique unless you’ve read the full story, not just the TLDR. This situation is far more complicated and has been years in the making. If you want a rundown, I’ve put a TLDR at the bottom. I truly just need a space for me to type out my story and possibly maybe hear similar stories if anyone can relate. This is an extremely long post, and there’s a chance I ramble, so just as a warning
I’ll give some background before I say my case: I (22F) have been suspicious of my dad (50M) for the better part of my life. I have diagnosed anxiety and for the most part, I’ve thought my ideas and skepticisms on the matter as just intrusive thoughts. My dad and I have l always had a weird relationship. It doesn’t change how much I love him though. Even as I sit here today, I can’t in good conscience say I hate my dad. I love my dad. Even in his bad moments and questionable behaviors, hes my dad and usually my biggest of supporters. I think because of his bipolar nature it makes this situation so hard.
My mom and dad have been married for 25 years. Like I said before, they have four kids, both come from strict Catholic families, and share the same group of friends. On the outside, everyone can tell my dad loves my mom. He worships the ground she walks on, splurges on expensive gifts for her and is pretty openly affectionate. My mom, however, has never been vocal on her affections, inside and out of the house. Honestly, I can see how this affects my dad. Over the years, they’ve gotten shorter with each other, dad lashes out a bit more (something I’d say to remember as you keep reading), and will disappear into the night after a harsh argument.
I’d say this is where I start to get weird feelings on him. We all have a joint Life360. All of us, including our parents, can see where we are at all times. I’m fine with this, given at the time of this starting I was 20 and in college and I understand why a parent would want their kids locations. When checking the app, I started to notice my dad’s location being off at weird intervals of the night. If you have Life360, you’d know that it will tell you someone’s location has been turned off. Naturally, I’d ask my dad and he’d laugh it off saying his app was screwed up and he wasn’t sure why it was doing that and then 20 minutes later his location would be back on. Whatever, fine. The locations would only turn off around 11 P.M. on random evenings, usually when he was in town. He’d still throw the excuse that it was because he was just flying and airplane mode screws up Life360 (which isn’t true btw).
Anyways, I guess the meat of this story starts December of 2022. Dad’s anger is at weird levels. He’s arguing with my mom more and turning off his location. Me, being stupid, accused him of acting weird a few days before Christmas. Naturally he gets defensive and starts to say things like I’d never cheat on your mom, how could you accuse me of things like that, my phone is just wired. I’d argue back that I never accused him of cheating, just that he’s weird. That didn’t help my case. This is where his true character started to show. Threats of I’d cut you off from college (they pay for my schooling, car and phone), yelling at me for not showing respect for him, how he’s done so much for the family. After this argument I’d see him deleting no name contacts off of his phone after a conversation. I brought this up to my mom, and she tells me it’s probably work so I drop it. If my mom’s not worried why should I be.
After Christmas, we fly north to visit family since we’re the only ones down south. During our trip, he’d take my grandparents car (with their permission, these are my moms parents) to run errands for the Christmas parties that will be happening over the next couple of days. Once again, every time he’d go out his location would turn off. The tipping point for me was when he said he was going to fill up my grandparents car with gas. They live 5 minutes from a gas station. We had a reservation in an hour with his dad that we cannot be late to. My dad knew this. He was gone for an hour. Location off. He’s not contacting anyone, including my mom, on where he is. When he gets back, 5 minutes after when we were supposed to leave, he tells us all that there was an accident at the gas station and they needed him for a witness support. I shoot him down asking why his location was off and why he didn’t tell anyone this in front of my siblings, mom, and grandparents. They all laugh like it’s a joke but once I look at him he’s fuming. He tells me to get in the car so we can get to dinner.
Once we all pile in for dinner he screams at me, once again repeating the things he said before Christmas and how dare I accuse him of anything in front of his in-laws. When we finally parked the car and started to walk into the restaurant, he screams at me in the parking lot. My cousins and grandfather are standing outside watching him berate me in public. I’m 20 years old and he’s treating me like I’m 5. He told me he was going to stop paying for school and my rent this upcoming school year to teach me a lesson. I have never seen my father like this before, and true to his word, I paid for the first two months of my Spring 2023 school year. After some convincing from my mom, my dad texts me in March to not worry about the rent. I think after this is where I truly realize what’s at stake and what more I could lose if I try something like this again, and I never once verbally said he was cheating to anyone. Besides I had no proof.
In between this period, my mom and I have a huge heart to heart. I confess to her that her relationship with my dad is not something I view healthy, and I’m fearful that my marriage one day will look like theirs. I tell her I think she’s treated unfairly behind closed doors and she needs to step up for herself. She agrees but once I bring up divorce, she laughs and says she’d never in a million years consider that. She’d never get a divorce, and she kept reinforcing that. My parents are super Catholic, so I’m not surprised by this statement, but I feel like this paragraph is important to note.
Jump forward it May 2023. I’m off for the summer, in a limbo between end of the school year and starting my internship, so I’m back home. One evening my parents and I are watching a show in the living room. How we are all positioned makes it that my dad is in front of us. During a commercial break while my mom is getting water, my dad takes out his phone and starts texting, however it’s not on iMessage. It’s on Grindr. The only reason I know it was Grindr is because I have a few gay friends at school and I’ve seen some of their messages before. Honest to god, I’m shocked and paralyzed in my seat. What I’ve been suspicious about for the past half of the year is true. Just not in the sense I thought he was. Excusing myself to my room I go to recollect myself and reach out to two of my closer friends about the situation.
Over the next few months when I visit home, I start to document any instance I see him on the app or turning off his location. I have multiple videos of him texting people on Grindr. I’ve started to hint to my mom that something isn’t right and made out loud comments how weird dads been. Since last May, I’ve told my younger sister (F19) about my dad and showed her some evidence. She refuses to acknowledge the behavior and does not want to do anything about it. We’ll joke about it sometimes behind closed doors but when I bring it up to her today about telling my mom or talking to my dad, she gets fearful and thinks it’s stupid to do.
Which leads us to today. I am a fresh graduate from college. I’ve moved back home and am looking for work. And I know I’m being extremely selfish to everyone in my family for withholding this information. After countless talks with my therapist, she thinks it’s wise to not tell my dad or mom what’s happening, at least currently. Since I have been actually cut off from my dad and my mom has expressed that she doesn’t want a divorce and can’t really be bothered to look into the situation more, my therapist and a few of my friends agree to wait until I’m financially independent and moved out of the house. I think about telling my parents everyday what I know. But then I think of me, and my three younger siblings (the youngest is 13) who are still living at home, and the fact my mom is financially dependent on my dad. And I think the worst part and it makes me feel awful for even typing this, but it feels a bit easier to cope with this because my dad is exclusively talking to men. He’s not cheating on my mom with other women. My sister and I over the holidays looked to see if he had any of the other dating apps and we found nothing.
Honestly, a lot of you all might have read all of this and may still think I should tell my parents asap. Or question why I’m still waiting. I think I’m scared. I think I don’t want things to change. I don’t want to be blamed at or remembered as the daughter who ruined the **** family. I know it’s my dads fault and it’s not on me, but I’m scared I’ll truly lose my dad if I bring this to light. I’m scared my moms life will be flipped upside down forever. I’m scared my younger siblings will resent me for ruining our family and their cushy life will be lost.
I just needed somewhere to write this all down. I needed to get this off of my chest while I sit in my childhood bedroom. I’ve never felt more trapped and guilty in my life. It’s easier to forget that this is happening while I was at school, but now that I’m home, it’s harder to ignore. If anyone has any similar stories I’d love to hear them. There’s a lot more I’m leaving out so if there are questions I’ll try and answer them.
TLDR: was suspicious of my dad for cheating back in 2022 based on some behaviors and was cut off for two months when I asked what was up. Now I know he’s gay and is cheating on my mom and has been for maybe years. Mom doesn’t seem to worry/care about his behavior and Dad is still creeping around. Now that I’m back home the guilt of not saying a word to either of them is building up but I’m scared I’ll lose my family.

So, this is really long but I think it's worth the read as there has been nothing else like this in the Gtag community before. I have been working on this almost every day since Valentines Day Update 2022. I have changed it, restarted it, and updated it for every new Gtag update. I will make Updates to the in the future as it seems like we are getting more updates and more maps in the future.
Updates are not always literal, for example, the Human Tag Update only shows that humans exist or once existed in the Gorilla Tag world. The Monkes are not literally wearing masks that resemble humans. This logic applies to every update unless it's just cosmetics or a new map. Also, it's really weird at the first few Chapters so just stick with it or skip ahead. Ask any question in the comments about why I put the things I put and if you want evidence.
Most recent Updates to this are in Chapters 8, 14, 15, and 16
BI = Before Infection AI = After Infection
Prologue: Gods
4,500,000,000 BI - 212,001 BI
When Earth is formed, two gods form with it to rule over the planet. Mother Nature, the god of life and nature, and the Illuminati, the god of chaos and ice. Mother Nature usually takes the form of a 3,000-foot-tall tree called the Tree of Life, while the Illuminati takes the form of an ice pyramid with an ice eye in the center. Mother Nature creates life to populate Earth while the Illuminati constantly tries to kill it.
Chapter 1: The Rise and Fall of Humanity
212,000 - 200,001 BI
Humans, the most powerful species on Earth has cut down the Tree of Life and taken Mother Nature out of control. This leaves the Illuminati to slowly creep into the modern society. Some Humans form a cult around it, and they are the most powerful people on Earth. That means, the Illuminati can tell them to do something, and they can affect the most powerful nations on the planet.
Eventually, the Illuminati tricks the humans into fighting each other. The biggest nations on the world begin to go to war with some of the biggest possible nukes. They destroy the surface of the Earth causing it to go into a nuclear ice age. The Illuminati, an ice god, now has full control over Earth. Anytime life appears, it almost instantly dies. However, some humans were able to survive and eventually, the ice age comes to an end, and no god is in control of Earth.
Chapter 2: Monke
200,000 BI - 1,001 BI
After hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, Humans have evolved into a new species called Monkes. Monkes are gorilla-like apes that can survive the harshest of conditions. Their diet consists of grass and bugs. Some bugs and patches of grass have survived over the past few million years.
Mother Nature has started to take back control of the world as she creates the Tree of Life and a whole forest around it in a crater from a nuke. Many Monkes travel to this crater and end up being trapped as the forest is on a lower level then the rest of the crater.
Chapter 3: Rise of the Monkes
1,000 BI - 601 BI
All other Monkes go extinct meaning that the only remaining Monkes are in this crater. One day the Monkes decide to finally make the jump as they all jump down into the forest. Most of them die, but the few that survive are left without legs. About 100 Monkes are alive and they quickly learn to use their arms like legs.
Unfortunately, just like there Human ancestors, the first thing they do is cut down the Tree of Life and use its wood. This leaves Mother Nature powerless again. The wood from the Tree of Life will last them for thousands of years. They build bridges, tree houses, ramps, and a gazebo in the forest. All the children of the surviving Monkes also don't have legs making it now a fundamental part of their species.
They hollow out the inside of the Tree of Life's stump and start to build tunnels out of it. These tunnels reach out to all over the crater. One tunnel leads to a small set of canyons covered in sand. Another tunnel leads to a massive flat, rocky, landscape in the other side of the crater. The final tunnel goes straight down into the ground until it hits a large cave filled with crystals.
They build mines underneath the cave and harvest the large crystals. These crystals are radioactive because of the ancient nukes. The Monkes harvest the crystals and start to use them in technology. They create lamps, litghtposts, lights, signs, and even their greatest accomplishment a computer.
Chapter 4: The City
600 BI - 30 BI
The large, flat, rocky landscape they discovered has a lot of useful recourses in it. Over the next few hundred years they build an entire city with large skyscrapers and new technology that is widespread. There are thousands of Monkes now living in The City. The forest and canyons have become vacation places for most Monkes, and the homes of the most rich or important Monkes.
The Monkes decide to have a leader, so a rich family decides to step up and become the royals of the Monkes. There king is named Yorick, and their queen is named Lucy. They both live in a basement-like area rights next to the main entrance into The City. Queen Lucy also turns the canyons into an industrial area and improves quality of life for the main populous.
King Yorick and Queen Lucy have a son named Blue. By the time Prince Blue was 13 he already starting his dream job of being a scientist.
Chapter 5: The Hunt War
29 BI - 21 BI
A tunnel is dug in city after, and they dig all the way until the edge of the crater. The walls of the crater look like large mountains from down below and they are extremely cold. They accidentally cause an avalanche, and the base of the walls are filled with snow and ice. From this avalanche comes the god of chaos and ice, the Illuminati. The Illuminati causes many snowstorms and causes a sort of Ice Age.
Queen Lucy tries to keep everyone calm and civil. However, the Illuminati is able to influence the Monkes minds and causes chaos and destruction to happen all throughout Monke society. After years of pure chaos, the Monkes are able to split into two factions, The Monkes, and the Smiles. They also are helped by newly discovered species that came with the Ice Age. These species are Penguins, Polar Bears, Snow Owls, and many other species that live in the cold. These species were the only survivors of the ancient human war that nearly killed Earth. Over the past few hundred thousand years, they have all migrated across the world, and have worked together even if they were from different poles of the Earth.
The royal scientist, Prince Blue has created many new technologies before. During the war, he creates a Hunt Watch. A Hunt Watch is a watch that targets the nearest enemy to you. Once you touch that enemy with the watch on, they turn into an Ice Monke and can easily be shattered to bits. Over time, this technology allowed them to win the war and bring somewhat order back.
Chapter 6: The Ice Monkes
20 BI - 1 BI
Many Ice Monkes were not killed in the war, usually they were turned into Ice Monkes but were able to get away before being shattered. The Ice Monkes are still just regular Monkes except they are made of ice, can't go near heat, and are fragile. Even though the war was over, the Ice Monkes were still treated horribly. In this already hard time period, the Ice Monkes had absolutely nothing. Many veterans of the war still had their Hunt Watches, causing many more Ice Monkes to be formed.
Meanwhile the Illuminati builds snow castles for itself in the forest. This means that the mountain base was safe to enter now. To lighten the spirit of this dark time they built a large waterslide in this new area. Many murders and crimes still happen throughout The City, but one day it gets out of hand. King Yorick is assonated, his head was chopped off in the middle of The City. The now lonely Queen Lucy keeps his skull in her home.
Chapter 7: The Infection
0 AI - 3 AI
Ever since the bombs dropped hundreds of thousands of years ago, a volcano has slowly been forming in the crater. Now, the volcano has fully formed and is erupting. All the snow and ice are melted, the Illuminati is gone, the caves are flooded, and the mines are caved in. The base of the walls still has snow but lots of it melts and reshapes its surface.
In the lava was an extremophile virus that can survive the lavas heat. It is radioactive and spreads very quickly. This virus is called the Infection, and many Monkes get it. The infected Monkes get resistant to lava, they get stronger, they get faster, there skin is replaced with lava, and they have an uncontrollable instinct to hunt down normal Monkes and infect them.
The infected spread everywhere but The City is able to be kept safe and nobody can enter or leave The City. After a few years the volcano stops erupting, but the Infection stays around.
Chapter 8: Calming Down
4 AI - 6 AI
Prince Blue finds a cure for the Infection, some Monkes are given jobs to specifically leave The City and cure a ton of infected Monkes. They start doing this and it actually works. The cure is called Kai Juice. Anytime someone enters The City, they are given Kai Juice just in case. It is no longer dangerous to leave The City as if you get infected you can immediately drink some Kai Juice and go back to normal.
The caves and mines are drained and dug up. The old caves and mines completely caved in and revealed even more caves underneath. They start mining again and find loads of dinosaur bones along with a 40-foot-long crystal. Prince Blue has a son named Pink, but unfortunately during such great times, Queen Lucy dies of old age. Blue becomes King Blue and Pink becomes Prince Pink. There is a massive funeral for Queen Lucy that spans from The City all the way to the forest. They burn her body and put her ashes in a vase beneath a grave.
Chapter 9: Exploration
7 AI - 17 AI
A large tunnel is found on the forest walls, they follow it, and it leads out of the crater. Just on the other side of the crater is a beach covered in ancient, broken, human buildings. King Blue sees this and is the first to figure out that there was a complex civilization before them.
A few years later, they have made boats to sail out into the ocean and have built shops to supply the ships on shore. The ocean and beach are also home to many new animals. Meanwhile, King Blue discovered that if an infected Monke stays infected for multiply years, they harden and become rock. When they harden, they can't infect anything, but they can't be cured either. They also get even stronger, even faster, and their rock skin is almost impenetrable.
Chapter 10: The Tree of Life
18 AI - 47 AI
King Blue has been studying everything he can since he became king, and he has noticed that it is possible to revive the Tree of Life. For hundreds of years the Tree of Life's stump has been sitting in the forest, so King Blue is going to be the first one to do anything about it.
Over the next decade they nurture the stump and help it constantly until the Tree of Life has fully grown back. The only problem is that the Tree of Life is almost a mile tall, and they can't climb up that. King Blue and his engineering team spend the next few years building a rocket. When they are finished, they put it in the middle of The City and launch it. On the rocket is a team of explorers and engineers to work on top of the Tree of Life.
When on top of it they build large platforms along with massive rocks wheels and other things powered by winds. When they come back down, months later, they tell everyone what they built. The rocket becomes the main form of transportation in between The City and the Tree of Life’s top. The public uses that rocket to get up there because now people live on top of the Tree of Life in a place called Cloudtown.
Chapter 11: Calm Before the Storm
48 AI - 54 AI
King Blue and his team start to develop a new rocket after realizing how well they built the first rocket. The second rocket they build is not in The City and much larger. They build this rocket for years before eventually, it is done. It launched, flew out of the atmosphere, and took a 3-day journey through space until they landed on the Moon.
The Illuminati has created a being named Humbug. Humbug appears as a 30-foot-tall snowman. Humbug also has the abilities to change size, change the size of other things, transform, and transform other things. He takes the form of an old Monke named Santa Claus. In the form of Santa, he would give out presents to everyone and create ridiculously large birthday cakes for everyone. Everyone loved him and had no idea of his true form. He would use his powers every now and then to shrink people down and kidnap them. Over time he would slowly transform them into children's toys that he would give out to the people. However, the Santa form broke down over time. His red clothes and white beard becoming gray. But the public still loved and cherished him.
Chapter 12: Humbug
55 AI - 62 AI
Humbug reveals his true form and takes over The City. He shrinks down King Blue and Prince Pink. He then mutilates and transforms them into monsters called the Monkeyes. He traps them in a miniature maze and throws Monkes in there to be killed by their previous leaders. Everything is covered in snow once again by the Illuminati, but he still is not fully in control. Humbug takes over everything the Monkes have made before climbing his way up the Tree of Life. Humbug makes it up there and destroys Cloudtown in an attempt to take control over the Tree of Life. This does not work.
Over a few years, the Monkes have been able to create something called a Tesla Coil. The Tesla Coil is a machine that can take away Humbugs powers and use it against him. Humbug's powers are stripped away, and the Monkes take back control. Humbug is shrunken down and trapped in a miniature maze. The Monkes also start to use his powers to make themselves super big. However, with King Blue and Prince Pink turned into monsters, and Humbug overthrown, the Monkes have no leader.
Chapter 13: The Giants War
63 AI - 75 AI
The Monkes have been living peacefully for a few years, but eventualy, the different sizes start to look down on each other. This leads into the Giants War, where the different Monke sizes fight for 9 years. Eventually, the Monke population dwindle so much, that the war ended. The Monkes that did not change their size did not interact with the Monkes that changed their size. Now, tiny Monke skulls and giant Monke skulls are littered everywhere, and the only surviving Monkes are the ones that never changed their size.
Chapter 14: Peace
76 AI - 90 AI
The Tree of Life grows massively and repairs the damage done by Humbug years ago. Countless new branches and huge leaves sprout from its trunk. This allows the Monkes to make their way back up to the treetop with a newly repaired rocket. Cloudtown is rebuild, slowly, but rebuilt nonetheless. This is called, New Cloudtown.
A year after the Giants War ends, the skulls and bodies are cleared out. The City was practically empty as most buildings were either destroyed, damaged, or tilted over in the war. Many Monkes just went to New Cloudtown to survive as going anywhere else other than The City would mean being attacked by Infected Monkes. Also, during this time, the mutated monsters that were once King Blue and Prince Pink were killed by another Monke for sport. Their souls go on to become ghosts that wander the city. King Blue's soul becomes a ghost called the Ghost Wanderer, and Prince Pink's soul becomes a ghost called the Ghost Lurker.
The population has grown more, and the Monkes have created sports to celebrate the era of peace. These sports are Hockey, Watersoccer, and Paintbrawl. This happens during the fall where Lucy's spirit flies out from her grave and starts playing with some random civilian Monkes. She then reunites with the souls of her son and grandson in the forms of the Ghost Wanderer and the Ghost Lurker.
Chapter 15: Advancements
91 AI - 100 AI
A new type of plant is found in New Cloudtown. This plant sprouts large leaves with handle-like stems. These plants are called Glider Vines. The leaves of Glider Vines are used as gliders to fly around New Cloudtown.
The Monkes are unable to explore anymore. The ocean is too vast, they never got back from explorers they sent into the ocean, and the crater walls are too high to climb. So, they spend a few years creating an artificial environment that they can change on a will. They do this by using a Tesla Coil that harness Humbug's powers. In the first testing of it, they try to bring back the vast cave systems they found hundreds of years ago. It was an attempt to make infinite recourses. It turns out as a failure, everything is extremely broken and blocky. After much testing, they have it so it could be a tundra, a swamp, an ancient temple, and basically anything else. This underground, artificial environment is called Rotation.
They decide to excavate a larger area for Rotation. They then finish their original plan of recreating that same ancient cave system. This time it works, and it looks just like how it did hundreds of years ago. However, during the excavating of the larger area, the long dead Queen Lucy's vase finds itself in Rotation. Minor Monkes enter this cave and start mining, but when they discover Lucy's vase, they open it. From her long dead ashes rises the confused, lost, and insane spirit of Lucy. She has been trapped underground in the dark for almost a century now and has gone insane. The minors call her the Burnt Lucy, a dark reflection of their long dead Queen.
Chapter 16: The Return of Humbug
101 AI - ??? AI
The usage of the Tesla Coil attracts Humbug. He is able to escape the miniature maze the Monkes trapped him in, and slowly make his way to Rotation. When he arrives, he is able to get some of his powers back from the Tesla Coil, but he is noticed by the Monkes.
One of the first things Humbug does is kidnap three Monkes and turns them into small monsters called Monkeyes. He places them in the tiny maze that he was once trapped in.

Hello everyone. Thanks for reading my long post. I haven't posted on reddit before so this will be my first time. I am beginning to feel like either I have some really terrible luck when it comes to supervisors or maybe I am just not cut out for this field. I graduated my masters program 2 years ago and I have bounced between a few different private practice clinics until I landed in this current one. I have been at this current clinic for almost a year now and this is the 2nd (IMO) terrible supervisor I have had. I have had one supervisor and owner of a clinic who really trusted my judgment and made me feel very supported. My 2nd supervisor was pretty "lais a fare" with their supervision and so I went for supervision with a really old lady who... just kind of talked about psycho-ed stuff the whole time with some random clinical stuff tossed in there. I also had a supervisor in my graduate program who I don't mention but she was very much on par with this current supervisor as being the worst people/therapist/supervisor I have ever had but I don't mention her very often. Now for my 4th (long term) supervisor.
When we first started, she began sending notes back with silly errors that did NOT make any sense. She would send a note back because she said that elopement meant that the patient was running away to get married and its not a clinical word... I did argue and re-submit my note and she just signed it. I have consistently gotten feedback on about 80% of my notes about the most silliest of things: don't use past tense but use reported here, you used the word "too" here and that's a judgement, i would use "assigned task" here instead of assignment. really silly feedback like this. Now... to throw out some professional humility here.... I really don't think im the strongest note-taker. I sometimes use pronouns incorrectly or will forget to use a comma pretty frequently. maybe even misspell a word.... but this supervisor is so strict that i recently found out that "three months worth of work" is enough to get a note sent back due to grammatical errors. THE MONTH IS THE OWNER OF THE AMOUNT OF WORK TO BE DONE AND THEREFORE IT NEEDS AN APOSTROPHE!.... this is unbelievably frustrating for me. Se even said that its inappropriate to use "however" to start a sentence. which i was using however to provide contrast between presenting assessments and reports.... I recently found out she has been watching me take my clients to and from my office through the cameras. I mentioned a mother came back for no more than 3 minutes to talk about some issues her child was having.... and she said "1 minute and 4 seconds". And, she will send clinic wide notifications about someone "me obviously" putting a chic-fil-a coffee cup with some melted ice in the office being rude because she is the only one cleaning then took out my cup and put it in the sink with the 1/4 inch of ice water in the bottom. She watches me on cameras leave every day and has mentioned that I should not be using the big trash bags for my office trash-can (I don't I use the small ones) and I had to explain to her that I was being nice and took out and replaced the stinky break room trash bag and put my office one it it. She even mentioned to not park in the front spots because those are for clients because I parked there a few times.... she literally parks there 3 times a week... and now i just found out that she has removed EVERYONES PTO! I don't take PTO very often... she offered a week and I was like "oo that's nice! I can finally do a week long back-packing trip I've been planning". I even talked to her about it 6 months ago she said I can use my PTO to go on my trip and take some sick leave to do some wedding BS I have to do the following month. Now.... gone..... says I literally cant even.... but is placing adverts up on indeed offering PTO to new hires.... now... she's coming after my clinical judgement on multiple levels...
(this part I kind of wrote as a rant sorry) Suicide assessments... do we do chronic or acute? nah... neither... its based on her judgment. 2 months is maybe u can stop doing assessments.... 3 months? who knows..... right to self-determination? sure... they can find a new therapist if they don't like coming twice a week.... (next week) then put them once a week if they are complaining... why are you doing DBT skills for mindfulness if they come in with conflicts about their spouse? you need to do psycho-ed on communication.... expressing anger is dangerous unless you do some weird reiki shit or goose-fraba.... yelling or intense exercise (tip) reinforces the anger and will make you more angry... u just goose-fraba it.... yelling is abusive.... but when another Therapist says her client represses her anger and to just let it out and let the Th get yelled at as an out for the client "OHHHHH that's great!!!"... like c'mon really? she even told me to have my WIFE (albeit she's a therapist also) look at my notes and give me feedback! which I do kind-of.... I ask her specifics like do we use however to start a sentence? and she's like omg what? yea I do this all the time... and then she googled it and is like yes? wtf?
Now... for context.... I am currently looking to move to a new state.... I still have my LPC-A for 3 more months until I can test for my independent (that's not my state license but to keep it low-key lets use that..) but I cannot transfer my LPCC-A license to the state. I am purchasing a home (just put an offer in today actually and I'm feeling so overwhelmed) that me and my wife have dreamed of... but if I quit I wont be able to get the loan... I really want to quit and find a completely virtual job and complete my licensure in my state then have it transferred and be completely done with this state and everyone in it. I am so emotionally drained and feeling like i don't know what to do. She is super passive aggressive in her communication style but very authoritative. its her way or the highway. She reminds us all the time that she doesn't even draw a paycheck from the clinic (which I used to do program management at my last job and I see the numbers we generate and the amount we pay and there's no way I'm alone not pulling in 10k a month and only getting paid 3k). I am about to cry writing this. SHE EVEN SHIT TALKED MY GRAD PROGRAM TO MY FACE DURING SUPERVISION!
Am I just being overly sensitive and this is pretty normal stuff and should drop the field? Or is this pretty crazy and out of the ordinary and I should run fast and find a virtual job. Any advice for ANYTHING will be helpful as I feel like I'm loosing my mind.

I (29f) have two kids 7&5 and have noticed in the last three years some prolapse. I went to get it checked out and found out it's uterine prolaps. I'm about to join physical therapy, and already decided that hysterectomy probably wasn't going to be ideal for me. I was hoping that the physical therapy will be enough. However, I am currently in the middle of a possible pregnancy scare (It's been 4 days, so I guess I'll find out in a month or so) and am staring to reconsider the hysterectomy. I live in America and have heard, though I'm uncertain that sometimes after pregnancy women can get a hysterectomy with approval of the husband. I'm not sure if this is true or not, and am hoping for some guidance on wether of this os true if I should consider it if I do end up pregnant.
If I'm not I'm still considering wether it's worth it or not. I have noticed an increase of heaviness in my period in the last three years and spotting on between, there seem to be no cysts that can be spotted so far (did have an altrusaund for it) and I am rendered pretty much useless during periods as I'm so exhausted I can barley move or think for the first 2-3 days. But honestly I'm really scared of having a battery sling and bwver being able to lift heavy objects (what about my growing kids?) I feel like I don't have enough information in this topic to decide if it's a good idea or not. Can someone give me advice/information?

(I already posted this somewhere else, but I would like to get as many opinions as I can.)
In the third trimester, I did an ultrasound and i was told that my daughter has huge ovarian cysts which come from the hormones of the mother. I was told that this is rare and they usually go away on their own after birth but sometimes, they don't and it would need surgery. These fetal ovarian cysts were not only huge but bilateral meaning they were on both of her ovaries, left and right. Eventually they torsioned and she had to get surgery when she was 2 months old 💔 Her left ovary died along with most of her right, only a small part of her right ovary remains and just barely her right fallopian tube, but its still unsure if the remaining right ovary will survive or not. This is my first child, and I did not expect for motherhood to start out like this. I feel so heartbroken for her and cry all the time. Her not having her ovaries essentially means high risks of health problems and taking hormones for the rest of her life so she can grow through her stages of puberty.. and she also will probably not be able to get pregnant or have her monthly period.
Her case is EXTREMELY rare which has me thinking if this is a punishment from Allah.
I always think to myself how will she get married. I know Allah wouldn't do this to me or her unless it was for a reason, but it's hard to wrap my mind around everything. I feel bad for her and I wonder if I am at fault. If Allah punished me for not being as close to him as I should've been during my pregnancy like not listening to Quran..
She's already starting to smile .. everytime I see her smile and laugh I start sobbing imagining if all of this is my fault that this is happening to her and I get extremely nervous imagining what the future holds for her. It would absolutely break my heart if she came to me in the future asking why she can't get married or have kids.. (I saw it was discouraged by Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to marry women who are "barren") 💔
I don't know what I should be doing from here on out as a Muslim other than making lots of dua. I guess I'm asking for lots of advice and kind words and how i should be viewing this from an islanic perspective.
All I've been doing these days is dua, but a change in perspective would be very helpful.
Please any words of advice with Ayah/hadith reference would be great. And any dua for my daughter's ovary that it's akive and will stay alive and be able to get married and have kids just fine would be everything to me JazakAllahu Khair.

Hey, figured I'd share my tonsillectomy experience because this sub was a great resource for me leading up and after my surgery.
I had surgery on May 2, after quite a bizarre experience with my tonsils. I've had tonsil stones for as long as I can remember, but as everyone here can attest to, ENTs and doctors don't really treat stones. Also, at about the base of my left tonsil, the tissue had hardened a bit, and I suspected that I had a tonsil stone wedged deep that I could feel. After seeing about four ENTs and two oral surgeons, they all gave me the same recommendation: get those suckers yanked out.
I still wasn't convinced so I asked about getting some imaging done (I'm in the US with good private insurance, so relatively easy to schedule, but still decent $$$). I got an MRI and it didn't show anything nefarious, but interestingly enough the tech noted a "lesion" on my right tonsil, the one that felt perfectly fine. Given this new information my ENT suggested a tonsillectomy because it was really the only option I had left and every other doctor suggested the same.
I scheduled my surgery and soon enough the day came. I've had surgeries before (2x ACL, 1x meniscus over a 30 year soccer 'career') so I knew what to expect. I didn't anticipate being in the surgery center with 6 year olds as I was the only adult getting the procedure that day!!
Day 1: They wheeled me back and knocked me out, and when I woke up I remember being surprised that the pain I was in was probably a 9/10. My second ACL surgery was like an 11/10 when I woke up (interestingly enough my first ACL surgery was like 3/10) so I was initially surprised how uncomfortable I was.
They fed me ice pops and gave me ice water and tried talking to me, but before I knew it, I was on my way home. In the US, if you go to a private surgery facility, they generally wheel you out within 10 mins of waking up.
The rest of the day was pretty brutal as swallowing was uncomfortable, but my mouth kept filling with saliva so I essentially had to keep drinking water and swallowing, which wasn't great. Eating was completely out of the question, but I had stocked up on some ready to drink protein drinks that kept me relatively satiated. I kept to a pretty strict medicinal schedule which helped me sleep a bit.
Day 2: Still uncomfortable but the pain was significantly less, maybe a 5-6/10. I took about 5ml every 4-5 hours of liquid oxycodone and caught up on Vanderpump Rules. I kept a large cooler by my bed stocked with ice from Sonic, Alo Water, protein drinks, a million water bottles and ice packs. I had a couple of ice pops, but honestly, I just didn't have any appetite for ice cream or ice pops or the like. Ice cold water and the Alo Water were great.
Day 3-4: Pain was about a 4/10 and getting better. I kept to the same schedule for medicine, trash TV shows, and water + ready to drink protein. My wife made me some pastina pasta with butter and although it took me 45 mins to eat a couple of spoonfuls, it did a lot for my mind. I also ate one scrambled egg, but it took me a while. I also had my bowel movement! This is very important after surgery!! Please take some stool softener!!!
However, on Day 4 right before bed around midnight, I "spit" (aka let drool fall out of my mouth) and noticed blood in my saliva. My doctor just said to call if you see any bright blood in your saliva and I noticed it more and more, but not a lot of volume. Of course I freaked out and called at 1am, but my understanding is that a little blood is ok and should resolve itself with ice water and ice gargling. It's really only if your mouth is filling with blood rapidly that you should head to the hospital.
Day 5: I woke up out of a decent sleep at 4am not in pain, but seriously uncomfortable, like my throat and mouth were incredibly sore. The painkillers really helped and I felt like I had taken a step back in the recovery. I could start to talk a little bit more, but nothing more than a couple of whispered sentences at a time.
Day 6: Still sore, but I remember feeling like I turned a corner finally.
Day 7: Back to work! I work hybrid so I was home to recover and didn't have any problems concentrating or typing or anything. I had only been taking the painkillers maybe once a day, usually at night.
I'm a little over 2 weeks now and I feel as though I'm completely back to eating normally and speaking normally, though I can't talk too loud or for too long. After living with tonsil stones for so long, my mouth feels a lot cleaner if that makes sense.
No regrets on the surgery. Looking back, spending time in front of a mirror pushing calcified food particles out of crevices in your mouth is a wild way to spend your time. The recovery was tough I'm not gonna lie, but it is relatively short.
I found myself just like drooling saliva out of my mouth over a sink because I didn't want to swallow anymore. Ice cold water makes swallowing way more tolerable so try to always have ice cold water on hand at all times. I drink water like a psychopath so I was super hydrated, to the point where I was peeing every 45 mins the first two days. I couldn't imagine being dehydrated and trying to recover.
If I could do it over again, I would brew more tea with plenty of honey and let it cool down and then drink it cold. Honey is basically a wonder drug but I didn't utilize it enough in the beginning.
I found and downloaded a text to speech app, which was pretty handy. My kids loved it.
Here are some essentials that other people have mentioned here but I'll list them below. Good luck!!
Pillow Wedge for elevated sleep - I actually still use this as I enjoy sleeping a bit elevated now
Alo Water with Honey - I didn't realize there are clear pieces of aloe vera "pulp" in the drink, which was a super weird experience. I wound up straining the pulp out. Also, try to cut this with water, there's an insane amount of sugar in the huge bottles and you don't want any unnecessary discomfort while you're trying to recover.
Warm and Cool Mist Humidifier - I already owned this and I had it running basically 24/7. I still woke up with a dry mouth which is kind of miserable, but I think it would've been worse if I didn't have this.
Fairlife Core Power Protein Drinks - 26 or 42 grams of protein is amazing when you're recovering. They are a bit expensive, so I picked up a case of the Fairlife Nutrition Plan from my local Costco.
Sonic Pebble Ice - Pebble ice is so much better than regular ice from a freezer or if you're freezing a tray. I don't know why. It's so much easier to chew and it's so much more satisfying to put in your water, especially recovering from a tonsillectomy. If you don't leave near a Sonic, try to find pebble ice somewhere!
Miralax, 7 Once Daily Doses - You NEED a stool softener. The opioids will back you up. The worst part of my ACL recovery was that first bowel movement. I didn't stay on top of my stool softener game. You gotta get that first BM out of the way ideally within like 2-3 days.
RTIC 52 QT Cooler - It's not necessary to have a $200 cooler next to your bed, but if you already have a nice one like a Yeti or RTIC, I'd definitely recommend keeping it near where you are recovering.
Tongue Scraper - I didn't brush my teeth for like 3 days and I felt awful about it. I'd recommend at least a tongue scraper to keep up on the hygiene.
Ice Pack Head Wrap - I thought I would use this more, but it came in handy on days 5-6. I didn't need it, but I'm glad it was around.

**WARNING** long post. Feel free to skip the background information if need be
BACKGROUND:
I am a software engineer at a major bank. Relative to my counterparts on my team, I am the "most junior", but I have three years of experience. This is important to know as it may offer some insight to our team culture. I landed this job in November 2023 and was placed with my team in January 2024. The team consisted of two women, including myself and five men. I work at our NYC office with three of the other men, one of which is our team lead, let's call him Anderson. The other woman coworker lives in FL and the other two men are in India. I am the only black person on the team, and the rest of my coworkers are of Indian descent. This, too, is important to note.
From day 1, I was intentionally assigned low level administrative tasks while my coworkers were purposefully trained and briefed on other, technical tasks. The first week with my team, I mentioned to my team lead that I felt it important to learn the technical tasks that my teammates were learning, even if these technical tasks were not going to be my responsibility, because there would not be anyone to take on the technical tasks if someone was on vacation. My team lead told me to focus on the work he assigned to me.
Still determined to learn the technical tasks, I scheduled trainings with my offshore counterpart so that he would train me instead. This meant that I had to sign in to work after hours to be trained. I was now trained on what my "work buddy" knew, but still not fully trained on what the rest of the team knew how to do. Suddenly (not suddenly), my other woman coworker, let's call her Sandra, went on maternity leave and I was assigned her work. My team lead expressed his frustration with me not knowing how to do her job, and told me to figure out how to learn the things she was doing.
What is interesting to point out here is that during the first few weeks on the team, my team lead would assign our other senior engineer to train Sandra and answer all questions that she had. I was not granted this opportunity. Instead, my Slack messages went unanswered (I have all of this documented) when I had questions and after another two weeks, my team lead quietly reassigned Sandra's work from me to another senior engineer instead. He never explained why he did this, or gave me feedback on the work I was doing.
As the weeks went by, my team lead called me into a meeting to gauge my knowledge on querying our databases. He asked me to find a few items, which I could not find because for one, I had NEVER interacted with the databases before, and for two, I had no understanding of the database architecture or the data flow for our app. Nevertheless, I decided to ask clarifying questions to help me better understand the data so that I could write appropriate queries. My team lead responded to this with yelling "you are an engineer and you don't even know SQL", to which I responded that my knowledge of SQL was sufficient (part of my technical interview was based on writing complex queries), but I needed to understand exactly what he wanted me to find. He ended the meeting and never followed up on the information he was looking for. I still do not know what task, if any, that he was trying to assign to me.
I decided to follow up with him and explain to him that I could sense his frustration, and I asked him to define clear expectations for me and the team, and provide official training that focused on our application architecture and other technical areas that we needed to focus on. He told me that no amount of training would fix the "fact" that I did not know SQL and that it is the team members' job to train themselves.
Nevertheless, after that meeting, he assigned me with handling all onboarding for new projects moving forward. I have taken the liberty of advocating for my team members to ensure that we are all properly trained and provided with ALL resources needed to do our job well. Since then, the team, and myself has expressed more confidence in our ability to do our work. We are even at a point where senior team members reach out to me when they cannot find resources and either ask me to provide documentation, or ask me to reach out to other engineers to schedule meetings to provide trainings. Here is where I am concerned that I might be experiencing hostility at work. Please provide objective feedback and even constructive criticism if need be:
MAIN POINTS:
-my team lead uses language in his interactions with me that creates a false narrative. For example, he accuses me of "not caring" about my job, not "being collaborative", and not paying attention. One example is where I was tasked with migrating a google guice project to springboot. We had four weeks to get the work done and each week during standup, I brought up to my team lead my plans to make changes to the service. Each time, he would redirect my attention to administrative tasks. The third week of the sprint, literally in the middle of a Slack conversation of me telling my team lead that I planned on making some code changes and him instead telling me to do something else, our senior manager called a meeting with the team and yelled at my team lead for not getting any work done related to the code refactoring. After the meeting, my team lead followed up with me and berated me for not having work done. This is all documented in Slack and I remember being very confused as he had literally told me to do other tasks. As a result, my team lead removed me from the code refactoring project and used this to further justify his belief that I do "not care" about the work. Keep in mind that these interactions are documented.
-my team lead constantly verbally berates me in my interactions with him. One example is when I was typing up a document on a zoom call and I was sharing my screen with him. He kept rushing me and was saying things like "come on man I have other things to do", "ughhh hurry up", "you need to move fast!". Two things here: he yelled at me for moving fast because he said he could not see what I was clicking on when I moved fast. Then he yelled at me when I slowed down. There was one time he yelled at me for clicking a back button instead of the home button on the screen...he told me that I was not listening to him or paying attention...I am confused by this because the point of his instruction was for me to return to the home screen. There was another time where I misspelled a word in the middle of him berating me, and then he berated me even more for misspelling the word...
-my team lead has unclear expectations and gets angry at me when I do not do things he wants me to do. One example is when he wanted me to watch a 40 minute training video, summarize the points in the video, and schedule a follow up training with the person who lead the training so that the team (me) could ask questions. He asked me to get this done within an hour. He also wanted me to upload some recordings to Sharepoint. But this task was just another task to complete and not time-sensitive. After the call, I watched the video and made a summary and got back to him with an update in 45 minutes instead of the hour. He responded to my message 20 minutes after I wrote him by hopping on a call with me and yelled at me for not having the videos uploaded. Again, he accused me of "not caring" about my job. When I explained to him that the videos were not uploaded because I was focusing on the other, time sensitive task, he said that that task was not as important as having the videos uploaded and "people" were asking him about the videos in the Sharepoint space....this was a lie because it has been a week and the only person who accessed the uploaded videos was...you guessed it...me :)
-my team lead just berates me in general. He berated me for collaborating with a team member to explore a new internal application. He said that there was no need to get on zoom with the coworker because we should have already known everything...the app was new and I was the only one who understood how to navigate it after exploring it with the team member...oh...need I mention that he then asked me to train the other team members on the new app's UI next week?
-my team lead expressed his frustration at not having access to certain resources when I was on bereavement.The documentation was incomplete and I had to take a sudden leave due to a death in the family. Upon my return, he asked for the documentation and said that he find an "excuse" to tell his manager as to why the documentation was incomplete and that I was "on vacation"
-my team lead "warns" me not to "disappoint" him when he assigns me with tasks. When I ask him to define what a "disappointment" is and for us to agree on what is acceptable, he ignores me.
-my team lead tells me that "people" ask questions about my work and one day he is going to make our department head "deal" with me. The department head is known for being a hot head who yells at people. But he (department head)has NEVER yelled at me in any interaction I had with him, no matter how frustrated he may have been.
I want to make an important note here that my team lead does NOT speak to other people like this and he ONLY does this over zoom. I work 3x days in office and on the days where he speaks to me in person, he does not even make eye contact with me and he speaks so soft I can barely hear him sometimes. My team lead has never provided any feedback on my work. As a matter of fact, he uses my documentation and my explanation of technical tasks as if they were his own.
I am considering taking my concerns to our senior manager, who apparently is a well respected, "big boss" at work, but also MY direct manager and I happen to have a great relationship with him. I want to be as objective as possible in my complaint but in the meantime, I would like to explore areas where maybe I can improve to minimize my team lead's verbal assaults on me