Thirteen years ago today, my older sister and I were called from our play to empty the dishwasher. We hurried about it, not wanting to spend more time than needed on putting away the damp warm dishes. The phone rang. Your brother is dead, a small voice in my head said. The phone always rang. My mom had a lot of friends, my dad had a lot of work. I picked up large, sunset-coloured dinner plates, surfaces cracked from use. My mom went and retrieved the phone--a cellphone, the first one she’d ever owned. She answered in the hall, her voice customer-service friendly. My sister happily stacked plates on the counter, blond hair catching the sunlight. My mother’s feet brushed against the tiles. “Go into the basement,” she said to us, voice strange. And in the pit of my stomach, there was a hollow, and in the back of my head, the voice whispered again, your brother is dead. We gathered our younger sister, a chubby three year old, and went into the basement. She pulled open the toy cupboards and stacked blocks, and my older sister and I took out toys and idly shifted them around, ears tuned for the muffled conversation. “Maybe it’s Dad’s job.” My older sister said. “Maybe,” I said. “Maybe it’s grandma and grandpa,” my older sister said. “Maybe,” I said. When my mom brought down a plate of two pancakes, tops singed black, and disappeared upstairs again, we stopped pretending to play. We peeled off the burnt areas and fed our little sister, picking at our own portions. “Maybe it’s the car,” my older sister said. And I said maybe. The afternoon sunlight began to grow long and grey. The remains of the picked-apart pancakes were cold, and my little sister cheerfully smashed dolls against one another. “Maybe Jotham’s dead,” I said finally, the pit in my stomach wide and powerful against my fragile skin. “No.” My older sister said, absolute certainty in her voice. That could not be it. “Maybe Dad lost his job,” my sister proposed again. “Maybe.” As the afternoon light stretched longer and longer, my mother called us back upstairs. We took up the purple plate with the cold pancake remains and our little sister, and I began emptying the dishwasher again. The warmness of the dishes had long since faded; they were clammy against my hands. “I have something I need to tell you,” my mom said. “Jotham died.” As my mother and sister sat on the kitchen floor and cried, I emptied the dishwasher until my mother pulled me to her.
Today, he would be thirteen and a half. I imagine he would be tall and lanky, dark skin and bright eyes. Maybe he would be like me. I hope he would’ve been better. I don’t think of him often, so this grief hits me strangely tonight. Yes, I miss him. I remember him as my brother. But he was so young, and I was so young, and in these thirteen years I have changed an awful lot from who I was then, as children tend to do. Last year I forgot his birthday until a few days later, then it hit me and I mourned again. I think, perhaps, it’s a mercy he died. The hell of my childhood isn’t one I would wish on anyone, even if I didn’t know how dark it could get back then. I think, maybe, he’s better off in whatever afterlife there is than living with the trauma me and my surviving siblings have. Maybe he would’ve been an athlete. An artist, or a musician. Maybe a blue-collar worker, maybe a politician. Shouldn’t he have had the chance? There’s five of us now, two who came after him and the three of us who remember him. But even the youngest knows about Jotham. They’ve seen his photos. They remember that there’s six of us, one is just far away. My mom says we’ll see him when we get to heaven. I don’t think I believe in heaven, I don’t know if I believe in an afterlife, but nights like tonight I want to. I want to believe he is happy, and at peace, wherever he is. Goodnight, Jotham. Perhaps one day we will meet again.

Never did I expect to be writing this, or that this game that we all love would lead to something like this, but here we are.
After the posting of today’s results, it was made clear that many people disagreed with certain choices that were made by the judges panel. Now, I am all for disagreement. It is healthy to have our ideas challenged and have people disagree with us, when it is done in a respectful manner. What I did not expect to come out of this afternoon’s results posting was personal attacks against our judges panel. While I can only speak on what I know of, I am sure more has been said than I am aware of. I have always been a big advocate of the fact that it is perfectly fine if you disagree with decisions that are made, as long as at the end of the day you respect those making the decisions. That seemed to have been lost a little bit today and I just want to address it briefly…
I’ll just start by saying this: I ultimately was the person who decided that Tracy was the winner. You can ask any of the five other judges that were a part of the conversation, I ultimately was who decided Tracy as the winner of the looksync between her and Liz. I think Liz had a great look as well, but I saw the vision that Tracy was going for. I saw what she intended with the reveals, I saw the story she was trying to tell, and I admired the interpretation of the song. I know that vision was not clear to everyone, and I know that many people felt that a different decision should be made. But, at the end of the day, that was the decision made, and the world keeps spinning. If you all truly need someone to direct frustration at over this decision, please, feel free to send it my way at u/BlueCloud45 and I will happily have a conversation with you about. I respect your differing opinion, and I would hope you will respect mine as well.
What I will not tolerate and will not stand here and let happen is any hate or personal attacks on the character of anyone involved in this decision. This is a game that we all love, and Cali and I started this race because we loved the game and loved the way these competitions brought together likeminded people to build friendships and a community. That has always been the goal for us, and always will be. Hatred and Personal Attacks have no place here. We are all still people at the end of the day, playing a game of pixels.
With that said, I look forward to the remainder of this season with all of you, and especially the queens involved this season who have put in amazing work.
With love,
Orchid 🌷

The background:
This is a long story because there's a lot of important background info that's relevant, but I want to start by saying my partner is a very kind, thoughtful, communicative, intelligent, and passionate man. We are from different countries, with different native languages, and are both currently living in my country (US). We met living in a major city, got very invested in each other very quickly, and after about 3-4 months he dropped a bomb that he'd applied for PhD programs all over the world and gotten into one in Europe. I have a really fantastic job and am pursuing an industry funded PhD in the city we met in, so moving was not an option for me. I had just gotten out of a LDR about a year prior to meeting him, and it really did not work for me because I value physical contact. But I really loved this man, he was so wonderful, treated me like an absolute princess in a way I've never really experienced, and I couldn't bare the thought of ending things, so we tried to make it work.
Fast forward, it's been like 2 more years. He reapplied to schools in the US and left his program in Europe to come back here and be closer to me (the visa issues and cost of the trans Atlantic flight were very difficult to manage). He is still a 2hr plane ride and 3 hour car ride away. This is tough because he doesn't have a car, but we see each other approximately every other month for at least a weekend, and spend summer break in my city.
For a variety of reasons, we are still really struggling. Our communication is off, and we have constant arguments and misunderstandings. I think we often miss each other because things are literally lost in translation (I am taking classes to learn his language, but we still primarily communicate in English). Our lives are now very different - I make a decent amount of money, travel frequently, I have roots in my city, and a good friend group and busy social life. This was how both of our lives were when we met, but he's now making very little money as a student and so he really can't travel even on a budget, a lot of his friendships have fallen off or moved away, and he's living in rural Midwestern US. I care so much but I'm losing track of what we had in common, and it's increasingly difficult for me to just "flip the switch" into relationship mode when he is here.
The conflict:
We had a very healthy but also honest conversation when he arrived for the summer a few weeks ago that neither of us were very happy, our communication is really poor, and decided that we would try to actively improve our relationship this summer and reassess if we wanted to continue in the fall. His program has 4 more years. I live in a big house with several friends because a) the rent in my city is insane for a single person and b) I like the company.
We had a big party yesterday, as we do a few times a year, and my boyfriend had fun all day, but at some point got really drunk and told my roommates' partner that he used to hate her, but he likes her a lot more now. I didn't witness this, and he wouldn't or couldn't tell me what he said, but another roommate approached him to say this really wasn't okay and the person was hurt by his words. He brushed it off saying he didn't mean it. We've talked a lot about how what you mean isn't as important as how it is perceived, and that having a filter is important, and my roommate was echoing these exact things I've said to him (which I have never mentioned to her), so I very much believe it happened. The partner he said this to also lives in our house about 50% of the time. My roommates allow him to live with us rent free over the summers because he has to maintain a residence in the state his uni is in and is pretty much flat broke, but this is really just out of kindness on their part. They could very easily ask for addition rent (our rate was just hiked significantly) and besides that, he's disturbed the peace in my home, which I really do not like.
He then sat down next to me (I was playing video games on the couch with a male friend, who is recently engaged, very kind, and totally platonic) and my boyfriend started muttering under his breath about how I wanted this guy and we were fucking or something. I don't even think my friend understood it was directed at him, but I definitely did. At this point I brought my boyfriend upstairs because I didn't want him to say any more shitty things to my friends. I asked him very calmly what was going on and he could barely make eye contact, would not acknowledge what I was saying, and wouldn't give me any straight answers. He then proceeded to say a bunch of horrible shit about our relationship, how it was already over there was no point trying, I would be happier fucking other people. I cried and hyperventilated all night and sent him to a friend's in the morning. I should mention that I am the child of a really nasty drunk who used to say horrible things and not remember anything in the morning. This experience really really triggered me.
I've had several lesser unpleasant experiences with him while drinking, and one major one where he made a friend's partner cry in front of a huge group of people while drinking at a beer garden. In that situation, what the person was saying was shitty, and it was okay to call her out, but he couldn't exercise the self control to stop himself from hammering her into the ground about it to the point of tears. This woman is now engaged to his best friend and their friendship has never been the same since this happened. For someone who genuinely is a thoughtful and emotionally aware person, I think he really struggles to read the room. He's very proud of his country, generally stubborn, and politically opinionated and this can be really damaging combined with the communication issues I often experience with him. He is fluent in English, but doesn't understand a lot of nuances (how strong the word "hate" is, for example, or when someone is trying to politely change an uncomfortable topic). All of these traits get a lot worse with alcohol and while I don't think he's an addict, I do think he's shown a few times now that he is an angry drunk, which is very scary to me.
In the morning, he was very apologetic and accepted the blame and said he would take steps to fix this problem so he wasn't drunk like this around me again, but I fear he's damaged a relationship with my friends and housemates, and also with me, in a way that's not easily repairable. We were already struggling, and I was very committed to trying to resolve our differences, and work on our relationship, but I am no longer sure it's worth trying. This is something that will take a lot of time for me to get over, and we don't have that much time together, and we also don't have very much space. He is staying with friends for a few days but beyond that if I can't deal with sharing my room he just needs to go back to his state
Am I overreacting to this situation? Would you try and work it out? I recognize that this is a trigger for me, and maybe I could get past it with time. Our relationship was already a little broken, and now feels shattered. I am so sad sitting here without him, but I am so upset I don't know how to move forward. Is it just time to move on from this? I love this guy so much but maybe I am beating a dead horse here.
Tl;Dr Long distance relationship of ~2.5 years between people from very different cultures is constantly encountering obstacles related to communication, despite a lot of very healthy and honest discussions about it. The communication issues overflowed to my friends and roommates during a party, and dealing with my angry drunk boyfriend brought up a lot of trauma from being raised by an angry alcoholic. Unsure if I'm overreacting or if it's just time to cut this off.

I apologize in advance for the length of this behemoth Story time Reddit: Last night I was chilling at a camp grounds in upstate NYC and this really cute bartender was on her first day ever for the job, anyways I didn’t even notice her until a community dinner at 6pm when she got some food and went to the bar to get ready for the night because us folks at the camp were gonna party till LATE I’m 18M turning 19 and I had aspirations to be a bartender myself in the familiar country of Mexico where my family operates a gin booze business. she 22F just turned and I was eager to Yk like ask her how her first day on the jobs going right? Now I time goes by we all just chilling having dinner and our rolls out some Gigachad kitchen employees with dessert and everybody fiends the fucking ice cream sandwich bars and I hastily think about the fellow bartenders out the back of the building (it’s the girl I’m taking about whose new and one other girl whom is basically her chaperone because they are her aunt) approach the bar with 2 ice cream sandwiches asking if they wanted the last stock of what remained of dessert 😂 they politely decline and I just give them away to my boys and walk back to the main cafeteria area and around 5 minutes pass people start to clear out and I not really a drinker and not of age to drink in the US (although I have been to other countries to bars that you don’t need to be 21 to drink all fine) Sit down at the bar with the 2 bartender ladies, i start yapping about all the musical bullshit I do in life and the video game I’m developing and whatnot and that’s why I came up to nature to record the ambient sounds for my project idk why BUT then when I realize is that the girl whose new’s eyes fixated on me intensely full German stare and I’m kinda intimidated ngl, so ofc as a good bartender would ask, they ask if I want anything to drink and i politely decline because I wasn’t really thirsty 💀 We start to just chat a bit I ask about how their day went and then that’s when I realize the new girl whose bartending it’s her first day and she’s absolutely drunk out the wazoo, I feel kind of bad because she was about to just go take a walk break and I saw she could barely even move straight 💀 so I ask “so what are some good things to do around here?” They reply really excited that before it gets too dark (somehow they say that and it’s already becoming 8:30 and dark at out) I should go to this really pretty creek waterfall and the absolutely double whammy hammered chick volunteers to take me. Now me skeptical af and realizing that either A, she can’t keep her eyes of me because she’s deadbeat drunk or B, she thinks I’m cute and wants to know me this is why she offered to take me to a cool place. I accept and I have to walk this girl out the bar because she’s in heels and bouncing all over the place. We make it to a downhill section we have to cross and I see her struggling and ask if she needs a hand and she hastily accepts, next thing up her arms are basically spaghetti and rolling with the wind as we make it down this hill her holding onto me for dear life. We start to walk a bit and I start to ask the big legal concern questions that us “technically inclined” men ask like “How old are you” “Do you have a boyfriend?” And “Are you in school?” I eventually get all these answers and we by some will of god walk up to an abandoned dark horror movie looking ass tipi (basically this ⛺️ thing for u non cultured swines) for some reason my hood senses start tingling and the white girl slasher film mindset goes into my mind like “Why the fuck am I about to go in there?” But hey YOLO why not go into creepy dark crowded place with drunk girl? We waltz up into that bitch looking like injured bank robbers clobbering all over the ground because the ground muddy and we can barely fit into the small opening of it, point is in there she starts basically interviewing me fucking speed run piers style and I answer being sober decently competent. Me not trying to make her feel uncomfortable turn my flashlight on to scout the area and we realize there’s some makeshift bench in there so we have a seat. She doesn’t like the fact the lights on and then she asks “do you want to kiss” and proceeds to inform me I’m a weirdo for turning on the light. Now I’m like: “ aight what the fuck girl like it’s dark spooky af out the hell u want me to do get mauled by spiders in this Native American trap house? Then Yk me never had a girlfriend and curious accepts her kiss offer and right as we are about to friggin kiss a RANDOM ASS NPC COUPLE SPAWNS IN AND JUST WALKS UP TO OUR FUCKING TIPI! What are the fucking odds bro, like it’s pitch black basically out and I’m in the middle of the woods, now they see us (we look hella sus at that moment) and kinda just walk away after being like “ooooh cool!” But anyways I get a pretty Alr first kiss, get insulted for being a horrible kisser and walk it off quoting myself “Bro it’s cuz I’m a Libra right?” Jokingly anyways we kinda talk a bit she enlightens me on some personal facts and me too, I ask if she’s had a boyfriend and she says yeah I would had asked how many but didn’t weirdly enough and she’s asked me then if I had ever had a girlfriend and I respond honestly that nope I haven’t and she doesn’t buy it, she thinks I’m lying. She then proceeds to ask me how tall I am and me being a tall ass mf for my race i respond “6 foot 3” and she’s like DAMNNNNNNN ewwww. I’m dying of laughter and ask what’s wrong. I never get a response 😭 Anyways she then decides to empty her pockets and she came for some reason with basically a mythical rarity load out of pocket loot. 2 Cinnamon booze plastic shots, lip gloss, chapstick and a cart. Now me being the worlds biggest glorified coward who never smoked and almost never drinks was amazed she had all this shit on her. I ask her how much she had to drink tonight and she told me how for every drink she served she also drank (idk why tf weird flex but ok?) we then kinda decide to go out of the tent because all of a sudden she wants to explore the pitch black woods when we both have very little phone battery left for flashlight. I think in my sober mind that’s a horrible idea and I remember in the back of my mind we had to be back in an hour from like 8:30pm and I remind her assuming she will have it into account but fail to realize SHES DRUNK AF AND CANT PROCESS SHIT!!! Anyways we walk around the creek bed and eventually we have a seat and just weirdly enough lay down watch the stars and talk about romantic stuff, she is very kind all of a sudden and we are just laughing wholeheartedly and enjoying ourselves and occasionally she tries to sloppily kiss me and I’m kinda just laying there like : 🙃. But yeah we there doing all that and then she somehow convinced me to do shots of the weird spicy booze she brought and I was very nervous and almost about to fully fold because I had a lot of important things in my life impending in the coming days and I didn’t want to fuck something up being drunk (not knowing myself if I’m a lightweight or heavyweight drinker) We each do one and I’m kinda there lying paralyzed and shivering in my boots not because of the alcohol but because of the nerves I am chilling with a girl on a beauty of a night next to some lovely sounding creek noises and making out. Me being the newbie I am just go along with anything she says or does because I’m not trying to blow what I have going Yk. But yeah time passes we just there on essentially natures lawn hugging and kissing and talking about cute life aspirations and then I have to break the hard news to her, I inform her I won’t be staying around long by any means ( I leave the next day back to da hood for school) and I feel so bad inside! Like this girl even age difference aside whatever was very kind and I didn’t want to ruin what we had going so I try and explain how I would try to visit her and later the next day I am able to check that tickets cost roughly $50 for one ways to the town she lives in and takes 2 hours and a half something if me for love I was able to do im down ig… Now as a recap: She knows I live super duper far away, She and I both understand we don’t want to ruin what we have and we are trying to see how we can keep this going. I hear someone scream her voice and then I’m like Awww shit ur in trouble right? I check my phone and it’s MOTHERFUCKING 11PM!!!! I’m like OH SHIT WE BEEN GONE A WHILE DAMNNN, I pull her up off the ground and try to get her to her aunt who I assumed was looking for her and then we sadly said it last farewell quickly. She kisses me and then she gets yoinked and chewed tf outta by basically her big auntie bartender me feeling horrible and all because I was so immature not checking the time, I walk up to her to take responsibility for the situation and not be a beta male type character she asks me all of a sudden if I’m “ok or hurt” and I say yeah I’m fine and then she walks away and for some reason my good manners and habits kick in as I quietly shout “good night” and she shouts back “yeah good fucking night!” Slams the door with my newfound friend and they both gone. I feel real bad for the situation but hey it already happened, and I then find out from some of my fellow campers that she was threatening essentially to call the state police because people have gotten lost in the woods but in my head I’m like NUH UH I GOT S TIER GOD MEMORY!!! Anyways I do have the girl I was withs number I message her apologizing for not being more responsible and whatnot and then a lot of time happens from there on. I go to bed at 1:30am, wake up the next morning at 6:57am and I’m worried because she hasn’t responded. I paranoid and feeling like a hopeless romantic sit around stressing for hours until BOOM I get off a call checking up with my moms who was out of town get a message from my dear bartender girl! I’m beyond ecstatic and try to see if we can say goodbye because I have to go so soon that same day (today as I’m writing this) we try to compromise and plan but sadly it doesn’t work out for us and we just don’t get a well deserved farewell. I feel truly defeated and depressed about it and people I’m with are speculating how I have barely eaten in all the hours I have been up today. I reply it’s that m stresses but don’t go into detail trying to avoid ancontroversial discussion. This girls name is Sofia and I as I hope a constituted decent person hope I can keep this relationship but there are a few obstacles. 1, she lives 2 hours best case scenario from me. 2, she doesn’t really answer my messages until very late after I send them (for example i message her 12:30 she responds then doesn’t respond until past 5pm same day) and It’s hard to have a relationship with flawed communication I can see. Now for me I have always wanted to find love but never really succeeded in it and I’m truly just grateful for having any experience like this at all and I want to hear feedback from fellow guys and girl as to what I should do to keep this a respectful and responsible relationship you know?
Sincerely and looking forward to feedback, K

hi guys, just want to share my experience. i feel happy because i think i am finally coming to terms with being asexual. but i also feel really sad because for all these years i was ashamed of myself and tried to convince myself i was "normal". (cw: references to sex and sexual/religious trauma, masturbation?? idk how that works lol)
my earliest experiences with sexuality were really weird, i could tell i was different it was really obvious. instead of being attracted to human naked bodies or actual sexual things, i would get physically aroused from certain non-sexual fantasies, many different things but stuff that most people would probably never think to connect to sex (although some do). but there would be no actual sexual attraction at all.
when puberty came it was totally traumatic, as i assume it is for many ace people. all the boys around me talking about girlfriends, sex, and for me it felt so weird and gross. i didn't want to participate in those conversations at all. because of that people assumed im gay and everyone bullied me. so then id cry a lot thinking i probably really was gay because thats what people were telling me. i even told my orthodox christian parents i thought this which led to them trying to pray/psychologically torture the gay out of me. sorry parents, but now that ive moved out i still like men just as much as women, just not in a sexual way. lol
eventually i found masturbation and porn. i enjoyed both. but i made sure to find porn where the people had as much clothing on as possible, and had as little penetration as possible LOL. interestingly it became an addiction and i got into the bullshit nofap semen retention trends which wrecked my mental health because of trying to suppress natural human urges. (i actually do not think that refraining from masturbation is bad, but it should be because thats what you want to do not because of some stupid metaphysical reasons)
then i got my first girlfriend. i told her straight up i wasnt the least bit interested in having sex. but she was very sexually attracted to me so we ended up doing it anyway. felt good but it was very stressful for me and even traumatic at times. then eventually we broke up which led to me doing a whole bunch of hookups. and now im here, seeing that i never actually liked sex and was just fulfilling societal expectations.
anyways, being asexual is cool and valid. if anyone questioning is reading this, please know it's ok to be like this!

It was a typical Wednesday night, and I was lounging on the couch with my three cats—Mittens, Shadow, and Ginger—when the emergency alert blasted through my phone, startling all of us.
“THIS IS A CDC EMERGENCY ALERT. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. REPEAT, DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. AN UNKNOWN PATHOGEN HAS BEEN RELEASED.”
The message repeated in a loop, sending chills down my spine. My cats, sensing my unease, huddled closer. I bolted downstairs to the basement, where I had a small stockpile of supplies. We’d be safe here, I thought. We’d ride this out.
Days turned into a week, and the supplies dwindled. The eerie silence outside was unnerving. No sounds of traffic, no neighbors, not even birds. The world had gone quiet. My cats and I were growing hungrier by the day, and I knew I had to venture out to find food.
Covering my mouth with a makeshift mask, I cautiously opened the front door. The streets were deserted, an apocalyptic wasteland. Abandoned cars lined the roads, and trash was strewn about, but there was no sign of life. I moved quickly, staying alert for any signs of danger.
As I rounded the corner near the local grocery store, I froze. In the distance, a group of people in hazmat suits with CDC and unrecognizable insignia on their uniforms were gathered around a body. The figure on the ground had charred skin, a sight that turned my stomach. I tried to back away silently, but one of them spotted me.
“Hey! Get inside!” one of the soldiers shouted, his voice muffled through the suit. “Now!”
Panic surged through me as they began to run towards me, their weapons raised. My legs moved before my mind could catch up, and I sprinted back the way I came. Bullets whizzed past, the sound of gunfire echoing through the empty streets.
I darted into an alley, heart pounding, and ducked behind a dumpster. My breaths were ragged, and I clutched my chest, trying to calm down. Peeking out, I saw the soldiers sweeping the area, their movements methodical and precise. They were searching for me.
After what felt like an eternity, they moved on, their shouts and footsteps fading into the distance. I waited, paralyzed by fear, until I was sure they were gone. I needed to get back home, to my cats, and figure out what the hell was happening.
I made it back without further incident, collapsing inside and bolting the door behind me. My cats mewed softly, sensing my distress. I sank to the floor, trying to make sense of the chaos.
Days passed, and the hunger gnawed at us relentlessly. The hazmat soldiers were a constant presence, patrolling the neighborhood. Each time they passed, I held my breath, praying they wouldn’t discover us.
One night, as I lay in the darkness with my cats, I heard something outside. A soft scratching at the door. My heart leaped into my throat. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and approached cautiously.
“Help… please…” a weak voice whispered.
I cracked the door open and found a woman, her skin marred by burns similar to the body I’d seen. She collapsed into my arms, barely conscious. I dragged her inside and locked the door again.
She looked up at me, her eyes filled with terror. “They did this… the soldiers. They’re not CDC. They’re covering up something… something worse than the pathogen…”
Before she could say more, she slipped into unconsciousness. I stared at her, my mind racing. The real threat wasn’t the pathogen—it was something far more sinister.
The soldiers returned that night, searching more aggressively. I knew we couldn’t stay here much longer. Gathering my cats and what little we had left, I prepared to leave. We had to find a safe place, a place where we could uncover the truth.
As I stepped into the night with my cats in tow, I knew there was no turning back. The world outside had become a nightmare, and the only way to survive was to uncover the secrets that the soldiers were so desperately trying to hide.As I stepped into the night with my cats in tow, I knew there was no turning back. The world outside had become a nightmare, and the only way to survive was to uncover the secrets that the soldiers were so desperately trying to hide.
We moved swiftly through the deserted streets, keeping to the shadows. Every rustle of leaves or distant sound of movement set my nerves on edge. The weight of the knife in my pocket was the only comfort I had.
I needed a plan, but first, we needed a safe place to rest. I remembered an old abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town, a relic from a bygone era. It wasn’t ideal, but it was our best shot. We reached the warehouse without incident, and I carefully pried open a side door that had seen better days. Inside, the air was stale, and the darkness was absolute, but it would do.
Setting up a makeshift camp, I turned my attention to the woman who had found us. She was still unconscious, her breathing shallow but steady. I cleaned her wounds as best as I could with the limited supplies I had. My mind raced with questions. Who was she? What did she know about the soldiers and their cover-up?
Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open. She looked at me, her gaze intense. "You have to leave," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "They're looking for you. They know you're here."
"Who are they?" I asked, desperation creeping into my voice. "What's really going on?"
She tried to sit up, wincing in pain. "They released something—something they can't control. The pathogen was just the beginning. They're trying to contain it, but it's spreading faster than they anticipated. The burns… they're from the inside out. It's like the body is burning itself."
My heart pounded as her words sank in. "What do we do?"
"We need to get to the CDC headquarters," she said, her voice gaining strength. "There's evidence there. Proof of what they did. If we can get it out to the world, we might have a chance to stop this."
It was a long shot, but it was a plan. I gathered what little supplies we had left and prepared for the journey. The CDC headquarters was on the other side of town, a perilous trek through an urban wasteland patrolled by hostile forces.
As we set out, I kept a vigilant eye on our surroundings, my cats close by. The streets seemed even more desolate, an eerie silence hanging in the air. We moved quickly, avoiding the main roads and sticking to the back alleys.
Halfway to our destination, we heard the distant hum of engines. We ducked into an abandoned building, peering out from the shattered windows. A convoy of military vehicles rolled by, soldiers scanning the area with flashlights. I held my breath, praying they wouldn't notice us.
Once they passed, we resumed our journey. The closer we got to the CDC headquarters, the more signs of destruction we saw. Burnt-out vehicles, collapsed buildings, and the occasional body lying in the street. It was as if the world had ended while we were hiding in our basement.
Finally, we reached the perimeter of the CDC compound. The building was heavily guarded, soldiers in hazmat suits patrolling every entrance. We needed a distraction. I spotted a gas station nearby and formulated a risky plan.
"Stay here," I whispered to the woman, handing her the knife. "If anything happens, run."
She nodded, her eyes filled with determination. I crept towards the gas station, my heart pounding. Breaking a window, I managed to find a few fuel canisters. I rigged a crude explosive with some rags and matches, praying it would be enough.
With a deep breath, I lit the makeshift fuse and tossed it towards the gas pumps. The explosion was deafening, a massive fireball lighting up the night sky. The soldiers scrambled towards the blaze, giving us the opening we needed.
We slipped through the perimeter and made our way into the CDC building. Inside, it was chaos. Alarms blared, and people in lab coats rushed about. We found a terminal and the woman began to download files, her fingers flying over the keyboard.
"Hurry," I urged, my eyes on the entrance. "They'll be here any second."
The download finished just as the first soldiers burst into the room. We grabbed the USB drive and ran, bullets whizzing past us. We burst through a side exit and into the night, the precious evidence clutched tightly in my hand.
Now we had the proof, but getting it out to the world would be another challenge. As we disappeared into the darkness, I knew this was just the beginning. The fight for survival had only just begun, and the truth was our only weapon against the horrors that had been unleashed.We ran through the night, the USB drive clutched tightly in my hand. The CDC soldiers' shouts and gunfire faded into the distance as we made our way through the abandoned streets. We couldn’t stop now. The evidence we carried was the only hope of exposing the truth and stopping this nightmare.
"We need to get to the old radio tower on Pine Hill," the woman said, her voice strained but determined. "It's heavily guarded, but it's our best chance to broadcast the evidence to the survivors."
The radio tower was a relic from the pre-internet era, now repurposed by the government for emergency broadcasts. It was located on a hill just outside town, a place that would be swarming with soldiers. We had no choice.
The journey to Pine Hill was treacherous. We stayed off the main roads, navigating through back alleys and abandoned buildings. Every sound made us jump, every shadow felt like a threat. My three cats, Mitten, Shadow, and Ginger, stayed close, sensing the tension.
As we approached the hill, the reality of our mission set in. The radio tower loomed ahead, surrounded by a high fence and a contingent of soldiers. Their hazmat suits and the strange insignia on their uniforms made them look more alien than human.
"We need a plan," I whispered, crouching behind a crumbling wall with the woman. "We can’t just charge in."
She nodded, her eyes scanning the area. "We need to create a distraction, something to draw them away from the main gate."
I thought about the explosion at the gas station. "If we can set off another explosion, it might draw enough of them away for us to sneak in."
We scavenged the nearby buildings, finding a few old fuel canisters and some rags. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do. We set up the makeshift bombs at a safe distance from the gate, rigging them to go off with a delay.
"Ready?" I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.
She nodded, her face set in grim determination. We lit the fuses and ran back to our hiding spot. Moments later, the night was torn apart by a series of explosions. Flames shot into the sky, and the soldiers at the gate scrambled towards the inferno.
"Now!" she shouted, and we sprinted towards the fence. The distraction had worked; most of the guards had left their posts. We cut through the fence with a pair of wire cutters and slipped inside, making our way towards the tower.
Inside the compound, we moved swiftly but cautiously. We encountered a few straggling soldiers, and a quick, silent takedown ensured they wouldn’t raise the alarm. The main control room was on the top floor, and we had to move fast.
As we ascended the stairs, the sound of footsteps echoed from below. More soldiers were coming. We reached the control room and barricaded the door behind us. The equipment was outdated but functional, and the woman immediately began setting up the broadcast.
"Keep them off me," she said, her fingers flying over the controls. "I need a few minutes."
I nodded, gripping the knife tightly as I stood guard. The door shook as the soldiers pounded on it, shouting orders. I knew it wouldn’t hold for long. My heart raced as I prepared for the inevitable confrontation.
The door burst open, and soldiers poured in. I fought with everything I had, slashing and dodging, trying to buy her enough time. The room was filled with chaos, the sound of gunfire and shouts echoing off the walls.
"Got it!" she yelled, just as a soldier lunged at me. I managed to dodge, and she hit the broadcast button, sending the evidence out over the airwaves.
The soldier caught me off guard, his gun aimed directly at my head. But before he could pull the trigger, the woman tackled him, knocking the gun from his hand. Together, we fought off the remaining soldiers, adrenaline fueling our every move.
The broadcast was live, transmitting to any survivors who might be listening. The truth was out there now, and there was no turning back. We had exposed the government's dark secret, revealing the horrors they had unleashed.
As the last soldier fell, we took a moment to catch our breath. The room was a mess, but we were alive. The woman looked at me, her eyes fierce.
"We did it," she said, her voice trembling with a mix of exhaustion and relief.
"What's your name?" I asked, realizing I never knew the name of the woman who had saved us all.
"Emily," she replied. "And you?"
"David," I said, offering her a weary smile. "What's next?"
"We find more survivors," Emily said. "We need to band together, stay safe, and figure out how to stop this once and for all."
As we left the radio tower, my cats trailing behind us, I knew the road ahead would be long and dangerous. But for the first time since the outbreak, I felt a glimmer of hope. We had taken the first step in fighting back, and we wouldn’t stop until we reclaimed our world.As we descended Pine Hill, the adrenaline from our successful broadcast still coursed throughour veins, we encountered a lone CDC soldier. He was younger than the others, his hazmat suit splattered with dirt and blood. He raised his hands in surrender, his eyes wide with fear.
"Please, don’t shoot," he begged, his voice trembling.
Emily and I exchanged glances. We needed answers, and he might be our best shot.
“Drop your weapon and get on your knees,” I commanded, keeping the knife at the ready. He complied, dropping his rifle and kneeling on the ground.
“Who are you?” Emily demanded. “And what the hell is going on?”
“My name is Sergeant Walker,” he stammered. “I’m just following orders. Please, you have to understand, it’s not what you think.”
Emily stepped closer, her eyes narrowing. “Then explain it to us. What have you released? What’s really happening?”
He swallowed hard, glancing around nervously. “They didn’t tell us everything at first. The pathogen was supposed to be a bioweapon, something to give us an edge in warfare. But it mutated… it’s out of control.”
“We already know it’s bad,” I said, tightening my grip on the knife. “Tell us something we don’t know, or I swear we won’t be as kind as we’ve been.”
His eyes darted between us, and he took a deep breath. “There’s a new variant,” he admitted, his voice shaking. “It’s worse than the first one. The mortality rate is 98 percent, and it’s incredibly transmissive. It turns the infected’s brain to jello, makes them mindless, driven by a desperate urge to consume others.”
I felt a cold dread settle in my stomach. “What do you mean, ‘consume others’?”
“They eat other infected,” Walker said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s like they’re trying to regain parts of their humanity, but it’s futile. They’re just spreading the infection further.”
Emily’s face paled. “How did this happen? How could you let this happen?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he said, tears forming in his eyes. “We were just following orders. We didn’t know. By the time we realized, it was too late. The higher-ups tried to contain it, but it spread too fast. Now they’re just trying to cover it up, to hide their mistake.”
I looked at Emily, the horror of his words sinking in. “What do we do now?”
“We have to find more survivors, warn them,” she said, her voice resolute. “We need to band together and fight back, somehow.”
I turned back to Walker. “Thank you for telling us. Get out of here, go somewhere safe. But know this: if we ever see you again, and you’re still working for them, we won’t be as merciful.”
He nodded, tears streaming down his face. “Thank you. I… I’m sorry.”
We watched as he ran off into the night, his figure quickly swallowed by the darkness. The information he’d given us weighed heavily on our minds. The situation was far worse than we’d imagined, but we couldn’t let despair take hold. We had a mission, a purpose.
As we continued our journey through the desolate streets, my cats trailing close behind, I felt a renewed sense of determination. The world had become a living nightmare, but we had taken the first steps toward fighting back. We would find more survivors, we would uncover more truths, and we would stop this horror, no matter what it took.
The road ahead was fraught with danger, but for the first time, we had hope—and that was something they couldn’t take away from us.
As we watched Sergeant Walker disappear into the darkness, a sinking feeling settled in my chest. The weight of his revelations hung heavy in the air, and I couldn’t shake the sense of despair that threatened to overwhelm me. But before we could fully process what had just transpired, footsteps echoed behind us, and Walker’s voice called out.
“Wait! Please, don’t leave me!” he cried, his voice frantic.
Emily and I turned, startled by his sudden return. His hazmat suit was torn, his face streaked with dirt and tears.
“What do you want?” Emily demanded, her voice sharp with suspicion.
Walker stumbled forward, his hands trembling. “I can’t go back to the CDC,” he gasped, desperation evident in his eyes. “Not after what they’ve done. You said you need survivors… well, I’m one of them. Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me stay with you.”
I exchanged a hesitant glance with Emily. Could we trust him? After everything he’d been a part of?
“We can’t stay here,” I said, my voice low. “If you’re coming with us, you need to keep up.”
Walker nodded eagerly, his relief palpable. “Thank you. I won’t let you down, I swear.”
With that, we continued on our journey, Walker falling into step beside us. The night stretched on, the silence broken only by the occasional sound of our footsteps and the distant howl of the wind. We didn’t speak, each lost in our own thoughts, haunted by the horrors we’d witnessed.
As the first light of dawn began to creep over the horizon, we found ourselves on the outskirts of a small town. It was quiet, eerily so, but there was a sense of life here that we hadn’t felt in days.
“This is where we’ll start,” Emily said, her voice firm. “We’ll find survivors, gather supplies, and figure out our next move.”Walker nodded, determination shining in his eyes. “I’m with you,” he said, his voice steady. “Whatever it takes.”And so, with the dawn of a new day, our unlikely group set out into the unknown, united by a common goal:
survival. The road ahead would be long and fraught with danger, but together, we had hope—and that was something worth fighting for.
As the sun rose higher in the sky, casting its golden light over the desolate town, we knew our first order of business was finding hazmat suits. With the threat of infection looming over us, protection was paramount if we were to continue our mission.
Scouring the abandoned streets, we moved with caution, alert for any sign of danger. Emily led the way, her eyes scanning every building for a potential source of supplies. After what felt like hours of searching, we finally stumbled upon an old hardware store.
The door creaked open, revealing shelves lined with dusty boxes and debris-covered floors. We moved quickly, gathering whatever supplies we could find—flashlights, batteries, duct tape—anything that might be useful in our fight for survival.
But the real prize was the hazmat suits tucked away in a corner, their bright yellow material standing out against the gloom. We wasted no time in suiting up, grateful for the added layer of protection they provided.
Once we were fully geared up, we stood in the dim light of the store, our spirits lifted by the newfound sense of security. But our moment of respite was short-lived, as a noise from outside drew our attention.
Footsteps echoed in the distance, growing louder with each passing moment. We exchanged tense glances, our hands instinctively reaching for our weapons. Whoever—or whatever—was approaching, we were ready to defend ourselves.
The door swung open, and a figure stumbled inside, panting heavily. It was a young woman, her hazmat suit torn and bloodied, her face streaked with dirt and sweat.
“Please,” she gasped, collapsing to the ground. “Help me.”
Emily rushed to her side, pulling off her helmet to reveal a shock of red hair and wide, terrified eyes.
“What happened?” Emily asked, her voice gentle but urgent.
The woman took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. “I was part of a group trying to escape the city,” she said, her voice trembling. “But we were ambushed by infected. They came out of nowhere, tearing through us like animals. I’m the only one left.”
A chill ran down my spine as I listened to her story. The infected were becoming more aggressive, more organized. If we didn’t act fast, we could be next.
“We need to get out of here,” I said, my voice tense. “Now.”
With a sense of urgency, we helped the woman to her feet and gathered our supplies. The hardware store was no longer safe, its walls offering little protection against the growing threat outside.
As we slipped back into the sunlight, our hazmat suits offering a false sense of security, I couldn’t shake the feeling that our journey was far from over. The road ahead would be treacherous, filled with danger at every turn. But together, we would face whatever challenges came our way, united in our determination to survive.

Can a male give me some advice.
I am (29f), very pretty by societal standards, I always get compliments on my personality which is new because for a long time I always struggled with being stereotypically pretty and whether I had a personality worth getting to know.. I know I do and I know I am really cool to hang out with.
This is not me being obnoxious it's based on what many people have said. I also struggle with mental health but I do my very best to not emulate that.
I know I am not perfect and of course have flaws but WTF.... also I am sure looks are not %100 everything but for online dating looks are what get people past a certain point, you know?
I never get past date 3 and I try not to message too soon, or show TOO much interest.. I never bother them or text too much.. I was talking to a guy approx 10 yrs older and we would talk on the phone 2x/day for about 4 days... at first I knew it was kinda too easy, like it felt a little fast to be getting along with someone so easily so quickly but despite being done so wrong so many times, I still choose to romanticize things....
2 nights ago he drank and expressed how he was always excited to have our daily phone calls and talk to me. (via text).. the day after, I felt an energy shift, he didn't call me at all, I waited until he finished work, around 4 pm, to say " hey, I just wanted to check in, we didn't talk much today and I don't want to assume or anything," he said he's "just tired" since then we have had NO phone calls only scattered texts.....
he messaged me today for the first time consistently, initially when he said he was 'tired" that was the day after we agreed that on Sunday (today) we would go to a restaurant for a late snack since I worked until 9pm.... then he asked, "hey can you come here and we can just have a fire in my backyard?" and I know right now he isn't driving and we live like 45 minutes away so I agreed, **stuid of me.., I know... Then all day today he was like omg I went out last night, I'm so tired. he asked me what I want to drink and he would get it, not even 30 min later he's like omg I'm exhausted do you drink wine? I do not want to go out but I have wine...
I told him, hey, it's fine just get some rest, like I do not want to see you up etc.. he said to message him when I finish work. around 9:30 he said "hey something came up and I have my son tonight" like WAY too convenient. and he's like oh, you're probably pissed.
My feelings have been off for days, since he stopped calling me etc, please tell me if my feelings are correct. like this is weird, I feel like he's hiding something and I genuine feel like he's still with the mother of the baby. like I feel something is not right and I always do my best to not pass judgment, esp. when there is a child, like I know your responsibilities but what...?
I told him I understand, it's his kid, it cannot complain etc, but if he cancels again obv I will not be okay with it. and he has not responded. I will assume he's asleep but I am so sure he is gone ghost me OR come up with an excuse.
I know this was a lot but so fking tired of this, I try t never pass judgment and I want a romantic life but time after time its just men, GROWN ASS men, playing games I do not want to be involved in, I'm exhausted. It cannot possibly be me a this point.
and yes, this scenario is in fact black an white, there is no grey area I'm missing...

A couple of weeks ago, I was at my lowest point with my urges. I had at least 10 crushes on women, ranging from those at the gym to those on the train I take. My friend, who is probably also addicted to pornography, and I would go on random walks during the day just to find some girls. But we never actually approached them; we would just stare and talk about how good they looked and how we weren't good enough for them. Doing this increased the tension to masturbate so much that I wanted more.
I did some research on how to make masturbation feel better since, after 10 years, it gets a little old. I came across a post suggesting getting a flashlight. This post caused such excitement in me that I got incredibly horny and ordered one right away after doing some research and finding a highly-rated one. I was so eager that I paid for expedited shipping, and it arrived in two days. Once it arrived, I wasted no time ripping the box open, putting some lube on it, and using it immediately.
But something weird happened—it felt like nothing. Absolutely no feeling whatsoever. I'm fully natural down there, so it was impossible that I was feeling nothing at all. I was crushed. I bought this to imitate the sexual feeling I was missing, but I was feeling NOTHING. What did I do, you ask? I threw it away and bought another one. This time, I went all out and bought a much more expensive one. It arrived, and again, no feeling whatsoever. Frustrated, I quickly resorted to doing it the old-fashioned way by opening the private browser and using my good old right hand, and it was so much better.
But we all know about post-nut clarity, and this one really hit me. It made me super insecure and made me realize that if I found a girlfriend and eventually had sex with her, I would feel nothing and would just go limp with no pleasure.
Fast forward to now, and I am doing so much better mentally and physically. Day 5 was the hardest, literally. I had the biggest erection of my life out of nowhere, but I just ignored it and went for a walk (after it went away, of course). Now I am on day 9 and have no plans to ever open up the hub again, nor will I touch myself.
To whoever has read this, I have a message for you: please don't give up on this journey because there are no positives in this addiction. This will literally ruin your sex life and ruin your confidence. Stay strong, and keep moving forward.

So, I knew the extended family was kinda messed up as kid because children were “ignored”-in reality, they weren’t ignored they were dangerously neglected.
I was deeply concerned about young cousins and was constantly rescuing them from near misses and a few smotherings from older siblings-yes, that is not an euphemism.
Some of those incidents involved fireworks being given to people who were way too young for them and I am not talking sparklers, though unsupervised sparkler use happened too.
(And you better not tell that adult not to give the two year old a sparkler before they leave to go have a beer with the adults-who the **** do you think you are, telling an adult what to do?)
While I was watching the kids I had a weird uncle who would follow me around “negging” me before that became a thing. Just saying random horrible things to me- I knew that he followed me around because he had been kicked out of the group of siblings by his Sisters for misbehaving.
(He’d say that I wasn’t a real part of the family because I was lucky and the family was cursed. That I was too “well-mannered” cause that is a bad thing and needed to be introduced to the Real World. That I thought I was smarter than everyone else and needed to be put in my place. That I needed to be brought down a peg or three-who the flip says that to a teen?)
I was never allowed to “graduate” from the kid table to the adult table-the family simply stopped having a kid table. Which happened after I stopped showing up, for several years, because I wasn’t taking off work to travel 10 hours to go babysit someone else’s kids or do manual labor at someone else’s house.
I believe that the kid’s table vanished when I stopped regularly attending because it was just 3rdthrow’s babysitting table.
I’m a social introvert and would burn out on the kids. If I went into a room to go sleep it off-I would be made fun of by my family for being anti-social, and treated as though I was an alien.
I rarely got to sleep alone but for the most part didn’t mind the kids curling up in bed with me.
The kids often stayed glued to me because I paid attention to them.
It broke my heart when they would trip over their words talking to me because they were talking so fast, their mouths couldn’t keep up. They did that because their parents wouldn’t listen to them and they were hungry for an “adult” (teen) to hear what they had to say.
Several of them told me that their parents had told them to “shut up” “children should be seen and not heard” “No one likes someone who talks all the time” that last one has me rolling my eyes-the adult who said it had never kept their opinion to themself in their entire lives-it has cost them almost every relationship.
Eventually, we all grew up and most of my cousins sort of disappeared from the family gathers never to be seen again.
The last family gather I went to, I talked about a new invention (that I can’t talk about online) and was dismissed, the conversation changed to someone else’s previously announced pregnancy.
I decided that outside of someone dying, I was no longer going to any family gatherings.
I just had a moment of clarity looking back and wanted your support and any thoughts that you had.

Preface; I am 40 years old, and maybe i'm too empathetic to send this to my old man, I feel this would quite litterally kill him, or maybe i'm just a coward for not sending it. Anyhow, I know he doesnt use Reddit so I'll leave this here.
Dear Father,
I hope you are enjoying your holiday up the top end, you look happy.
Meanwhile, your daughter and I are going to court this week to put away the scumbag who abused us. Once again you are choosing to ignore us, like you always have. You could have done more to stop this, you could have taken us away from that violence. There were so very many opportunities for you to do more than just the bare minimum.
If i try to recall my childhood the only real memory i have with you, that i can visualise, was you turfing us kids outdoors so you could fuck your girlfriend. You never, ever, made an effort to give my sister and I a space to exist in your new family/homes, we were always made to feel second rate to her kids and a general afterthought. You knew that scumbag was abusing us, and our weekends with you could have been a safe space for us, but it was just another dungeon. Something else i remember, the old lady never talked smack about you, it wasn't until i was an adult that i learnt things such as you didn't consistently pay childsupport, but I do remember you and especially your girlfriend/new-wife talking shit about the old lady either to us or within our earshot, and that kinda says a lot.
But you know whats worse than all this? I don't even care anymore. I've accepted that you have your family over there, you have their grandkids over there. I just don't even mention you to your actual grandkids anymore, and they've stopped asking after you. All of my anger, frustration, sadness, toward you stems from you not being there for my sister, for your daughter. You knew what was going on at home, but you either chose not to believe her, or just didn't give a damn, and don't pleed ignorance, that is the worst excuse ever. Then for fuel to the fire, my sister always finds a way to forgive you, and way too easily, she always has. You take that for granted and i dispise your for it.
I know you want to turn around and blame the old lady. Don't worry, I know the old lady fucked up, she knows it too, and trust me she is on the firing line with you. But at least when there is one final chance to show you give any sort of a damn, the old lady is turning up. But hey, you're happy and thats good, somone should be in this shit storm.
From Your Son.

(Warning long read ahead)
Hi! For the sake of privacy I won't refer to anyone in my story by there real names I will go by these fake names I'll use. Anyways let's begin.....
So I recently got over a rough break up with my ex and in order to move on I downloaded the dating app Tinder. I swiped right on a couple of people but I ended up meeting this really sweet guy named Sasuke. He was super sweet and he helped me out with my situation that I was in. He saw that I was in a rough spot so he offered his home to me so that way I can bounce back and be able to grab my own apartment again after my ex destroyed my credit with a derogatory mark. So after meeting him on February 16th and only knowing him for like 3 days I moved in. Best sleep I had in a while right. After like the 5th or 6th day I decided to have the sexy time with Sasuke. It was good but I feel like I moved to fast on doing it with him but it's too late for regrets now.
So during that first week he was showing me affection. Giving me hugs and he gave me a kiss before I went to work at my job. After the sexy time happened I noticed he beginned to change... He would say that affection is based on actions and saying I love you to you isn't really a true way to show ones love for one another. I was like cool so how do you show affection to another person and he was like its based on actions and what you do for a person. Again he's not completely wrong but the problem with that way of thinking came out way later...
After a month of dating which he took me downtown Atlanta and I was always allowed to ride with him he says that I was his girlfriend. I was surprised because he never gave me a title until now and it took me off guard but I was happy that he called me his girlfriend. We dated each other for like 2 months and we did have our arguments along the way. When I wanted a hug or a kiss he would shove me off of him. If I said a opinion he didn't like he was quick to punch me in my arm or slap my thigh or whatever the case maybe. He says love is based on actions right so I told him having a hug or kiss is a action so why couldn't he do it??
He always says that I force my trauma onto him but I never had any real trauma happen to me??? He would always tell me fuck my feelings when we argue and that he has all of this bad stuff that happens to him (Ex: physical abuse or being stabbed ect don't wanna name all the trauma) so why do I feel entitled as a woman to complain and say he hurted my feelings when he had all these things happened to him and you don't see him crying about it. He was basically telling me to suck it up and deal with it on my own because it's not his responsibility to cuddle me which I'm not asking for I'm just asking for him to CARE a little about my feelings.
I often would ask him why did you open your house up to me if you felt uncomfortable with someone staying with you??? Because you could have just left me alone at my friend's house. He would always say oh I felt bad I felt like you needed the help which btw he constantly throws in my face that I never took advantage of his kind gesture because I didn't have to pay anything to stay here I just needed to work on myself and get me another apartment again.
At this point the arguments intensified because he never showed me affection and he always shoved me away from him and I felt lonely... I always wondered why his girlfriends cheated on him and why the other two dumped him but maybe that's the reason why because the lack of affection?? Regardless he always says fuck my feelings and never seem to cared about them. When it was his birthday and I bought him a crap ton of balloons and cake he was like I told you I don't like that shit so why did you do it??? He never once said thank you for what I did btw until I asked him about it later.
We argued again yesterday and apparently it was enough to warrant him dumping me because I was too soft and sensitive and he doesn't have time to cuddle me which I'm not asking for again I'm just asking him to CARE A LITTLE. He looked me dead in my face and said that all people inherit violent tendencies. He said if he threw his mom down a flight of stairs imagine what I could do to you and he looked me seriously in my eyes when he said that. I feel like he was mentally and verbally abusive but physical I'm not sure because we wrestled and play fight but sometimes he would hit me in the face or shove me through a room ECT and never apologized for it because he says he always warns me about the consequences of us play fighting.
But overall I was just trying to see if this is worth me saving?? Should I try to make amends and continue to date him or should I run for the hills like my friends are telling me?? He did threaten to beat me way worse then his mom so that is a red flag and when I got up this morning I looked to my left and saw a whole bunch of woman on his phone which might explain why he doesn't want to work it out with me because he was cheating which I may be reaching on. When I tried to dump him in that first month because we were two different people with showing ways of affection he told me to try and work it out and don't give up on us and when I tried to apply that same logic to the situation he just said he couldn't do it anymore in order to protect his money and not go to jail for beating me he said it was necessary. So should I stay or should I go?
(If you have any questions I'll answer them in the comments this is getting long lol)

Hi everyone, posting this on a throwaway account for safety and privacy reasons.
I have recently been feeling very sad and conflicted about my LDR. For context, my partner and I have not been together for very long, we only started being official at the end of January and have had some ups and downs. Due to our conflicting sleep and work schedules, there are some days when we find ourselves unable to spend any time together, and in recent times I've been trying my best to get us back to where we first started and bonded, back when we used to text and hang out much more than we do now. Admittedly this is something we have to work on a lot, and it seems that my partner is willing to change things around as well so I know it's not a one-sided effort (but yet to be proven until actions are being put in place, of course).
I try not to be pushy when it comes to needing more of a concerted effort and time from him, though I also think I am not asking for very much. He is currently not working due to a career path change and I've communicated with him on several occasions that we need to work on spending more time together as well as putting more quality into our interactions. Up until this point, nothing has changed yet and unfortunately he has had something happen in his family (oldest family member stricken with cancer) right now. Of course, this meant that he needed space and privacy to sort out his feelings. I've extended my sympathies, texted him 2-3 times that if he ever needs me for anything, even if it's just us sitting in silence on voice call, I will be there for him. No replies or further communication from him, except for the one 'how are you?' just 2 days ago.
I realise I could be selfish for thinking this but wouldn't you share your feelings or at least try to text your partner every now and then, or is it because he does not feel safe with me enough to want to share his burdens with me? This silence from him has been going on for 2-3 weeks now and I'm just feeling rather sad that he has chosen to shut me out and me specifically it seems. The reason I say this is because I see him still interacting with a streamer that we both watch online and playing games with his friends, very clearly ignoring my messages. Again, I wish to be understanding and patient and to be of zero bother to him, but finding it very difficult to let the negativity of my own thoughts get to me.
Am I doing something wrong here? Am I being a lousy girlfriend and that is why my SO is treating me this way? Is it possible that he does not want me anymore and we are simply delaying the inevitable due to his family matters? Please tell me how I can do better, or if this relationship seems like a lost cause to you. Thanks in advance.

Yo, just joined this sub cause it’s something I can really use. Just wanted to vent, if anyone needs to vent in the comments then you can do that too. I enjoy helping people and I also need to do some venting of my own.
So, I’m a teen, never had a girlfriend. I actually feel really lonely, but I’ve never really told anyone this. I have social anxiety so I’ve never asked a girl out. I was talking to a girl over Snapchat who knew my best friend. I met her over Facetime, she asked for a picture of me and said I was cute and got my number, we talked for twelve days until she text me and said ‘do you think we’re like, talking, in a relationship type way?’ And i said yeah ofc cuz she literally said I was cute and proceeded to ask for my number. Well apparently that whole time, she just wanted to be friends and she never wanted us to be anything. I just can’t wrap my head around that logic, but I don’t know. I know a lot of you here have actual problems like abuse and stuff, and I do understand my relationship issues aren’t nearly as bad as that, I just really needed to vent. Thanks :)

My gf and I have been a couple for more than 5 years.
Awhile ago, I drove through the heavy rain and flooded streets from Novaliches to Paranaque to fetch her… so as she would be safe and fresh during a meetup with her friends. They were about to watch the SB19 Pagtatag concert in Cubao, QC.
Just like before, upon arriving in her place, I waited and parked outside her condo. Technically, there were really no designated 'parking spaces' outside the condo. One can just turn on the hazard lights while waiting for his/her passenger in the pick-up area.
Here's the thing... there is this recurring issue from the past. She always expects me to 'meet' her in the condominium's lobby entrance and to open doors for her. OF COURSE I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT. WHICH DUDE WHO LOVES HER GIRL DOESN'T? Please keep reading.
To add to the context, in the past, there were lots of times when she asked me to fetch her in her condo unit. There were lots of instances wherein I waited for her in the unit… Those instances usually lasted around 15-30 mins while my car's hazard light was ON and engine was off. It's a condo policy that all cars waiting for passengers should have the hazard lights turned on so I had no choice. On that setup, several times, my car's battery got drained. So we just agreed halfway that I'd just fetch her in the lobby. My point is, it is NOT AN OPTION to leave the car in that state for a long time.
Since then, I would always do my best to fetch her in the lobby like as she wanted. However, there were times of course, when I wasn't able to mainly due to two reasons. One, because there were LOTS OF CARS in the WAITING AREA and I couldn't find an area to 'park and wait'. Two, there were also instances, like awhile ago, where in I was on my phone while waiting for her and didn't notice for her to be there.
Awhile ago, I sent her a chat message telling that I'm already waiting in front of her condo and requested for her to inform me if she's already on her way down... There were lots of cars waiting as well initially but after about 5-10 mins, I was able to 'park' properly in the designated spot. My car's driver side window also has also this defect of fogging up.
As you can guess, I wasn't able to do her thing. She wasn't able to read my chat message and I was on my phone browsing about SB19 (since she took more than 15 mins again before going down). I immediately saw that frown in her face when I opened the doors for her. I immediately hugged her and told her I missed her but clearly saw that she was not in a good mood. I explained to her what happened this time, and told her that I even sent her a message but she kept pushing the issue.
I was so hurt about what happened because the TRIP going to Paranaque was so long because of traffic and it was raining very hard. There were lots of flooded areas so I made lots of detours and "buwis buhay" attempts driving through flood.
After explaining myself and saying sorry, I didn't talk all throughout the trip. She also didn't.
This isn't the first time that this has happened. I know that the gesture is important for her and isn't just a petty thing. But is it really necessary to dwell with it everytime? Like suck the positive vibes instead of letting it go? I could have done a 'little better' like continuously checking the lobby entrance for >15 mins if she's already there.... but... really?
Do I really have to let her win every time even though she was clearly wrong? Of course there are LOTS of times where I just let her win for the peace of our relationship… but every time? Shouldn’t it be US against the problem? Why do I feel like I’m always the bad one during issues like this?
It’s hard to balance between “a happy wife means a happy life” and “you deserve what you tolerate”.
ABYG if I’m already considering breaking up either her? Simply because I don’t know if we can co-exist? There are also other things like this and this is just one example.

Wanted to share my experience doing crash course studying for 7 days and passing the SIE first attempt! I never post anything on here, but others posts made a big difference for me, so here goes!
TL;DR:
I passed my SIE yesterday after only 7 days of study. Intense! I used Pass Perfect, spent 50 hours studying total. If you only have a week or two before your test, DO NOT take a bunch of notes on everything! Read the content, take the quizzes and test, take notes on those answers and explanations!
VERY IMPORTANT: Use the two free Achievable SIE dump Sheets and watch both the S7 Guru and S7 Whisperer 60 min crash course SIE YouTube videos the day before or day of test! I’ve included links at the bottom of this post. Be sure to memorize the dump sheet tricks and formulas, and decide what’s most important to reference. The test center gives you two laminated sheets and dry erase markers you can use as soon as the test timer starts. Be ready to write down key formulas, acronyms, timeframes, etc. Mine were the Options Matrix, SLoBS & BLiSS, yield teeter totter, Settlement times (T+1 or T+2) and notes on Open vs Closed end market. (All on the achievable formula dump sheets except specific Open/Closed Markets notes I took).
My Story:
In late April I was hired by Vanguard for a position starting May 28. I’d been a contractor doing customer service in an unlicensed VG position for about 10 months (no finance background before that); with the goal of getting hired in a licensed, permanent role within a year. I worked hard and got hired! The position requires SIE, S7 and S63. After my start date they pay me to do nothing but study and take exams for 9 or 13 weeks (depending on whether I’d passed the SIE prior to start date), which is awesome, but there’s a $5000 bonus if the SIE is passed at least a week before start date.
Note: I did have a little familiarity with basic terms and what’s required for account opening, due to my contractor position).
I originally scheduled my exam for May 13. I had about a month from hire date to May 13, and VG paid for the Pass Perfect course. I started some light studying the first week, thinking I had 3 more weeks and was on track. Then I got really sick for 2 weeks! I’m talking bed ridden, definitely no studying. So May 10 I rescheduled my exam to May 18! I had to pay $40 but figured it was well worth it not to fail, lol.
I was finally well enough to start studying on May 11, giving me 7 days. 😅 I had retained very little from my initial studying so I started over. I thought “I can do this!” I figured I’d had to do similar in college while working full time. Boy it was rough!
7 Days to PASS the SIE:
The first 3 days I had all day to study: Sat, Sun and Mon (had the day off for my original test date).
THE PLAN 41+ hours 5 practice tests, scoring at least 75%
Days 1-3 (full days) - 8+ hrs per day - Complete Pass Perfect Course (16 chapters) start to finish (reading and all quizzes, chapter tests)
Days 4-5 (Tues, Wed) - 5 hrs each day (2 before work and 3 after) - Take 1-2 Pass Perfect Final exams (1 hr 45 min each) each day, taking time to focus/take notes on anything I missed - Goal of 4 total tests, with 75% or higher on 3
Day 6 (Friday, day before the test) - 5 hours (2 hrs before work, 3 hours after) - Take 1 FINRA practice SIE exam before work (free on FINRA website) - after work, Review all Difficult Topics - Listen to S7 Guru & S7 whisperer on YouTube. (They each have a 60 minute crash course review, recommended for day before or day of test). - Print out Achievable Dump Sheets - add my own notes to dump sheets
Day 7 (Day of Test) Test scheduled for 2pm (1:30 registration) - 2 hours Notes and Dump Sheets Review in morning - Leave for Test at 11:30, arrive 12:30 (45 min drive) - One last Review of Dump Sheets for 45 min, take a break before registration
Great Plan Right?! Wellll, I didn’t quite stick to it. 🤣
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED: 52 Hours Study - Not at the planned pace! 4 Practice Finals (71% average) A lot of tears, anxiety and stress!😫 A rollercoaster of Self-doubt and Self-Confidence
Day 1 (Sat): 7 hrs Completed first 3 chapters, taking tons of notes on a Google doc, color coded and highlighted. I’ll do more tomorrow I thought, my brain is fried
Day 2 (Sun): 10 hours Completed chapters 4 & 5 again taking tons (too many) notes, taking quizzes and Tests multiple times, worried I wasn’t getting the concepts and terms well enough. Didn’t want to move on until I had chapters 1-5 down pat. Getting really worried about my pace now, but “hey I have tomorrow. I’ll crush it and catch up”. Maybe I won’t get to tests until Thurs, but I’ll be okay..
Day 3 (Mon): 7 hrs (I was exhausted and burnt out, still not 100% from being sick) Chapter 6 OPTIONS… the death of me, soooo much to learn. Barely got through chapter 6. Full panic has now set in! I have to work full time the next 4 days! If the rest of the course is this hard, I’m screwed. There goes my bonus, how will I tell my husband? (He would not have been mad but I would feel terrible). “Children and husband, do not bother me! I need to focus!” 😅
Day 4 (Tues): 6 hrs ( 6pm-12am) Intense panic and anxiety, how the hell am I going to finish?! Screw notes, get through the chapters! Completed chapters 7-10. Whew, these chapters weren’t as bad, maybe it’s getting easier. I think I remember a good amount. Better wrap this up tomorrow!
Day 5 (Wed): 5 hrs Very worried, but I’ll finish today and take lots of tests the next 2 days! Completed chapters 11-13 😫 OMG I’m still not done with the course and I have 2 days left! I must sleep.
Day 6 (Thurs): 6 hrs in the evening - Completed remaining chapters 14-16, course done 8pm. Whew, content done. Worried about not taking any tests yet, but at least I feel like I know the content decently! Took my first Pass Perfect Test, score 71% not as bad as I thought but that’s not a lot of margin for error! (Need 70% to Pass actual SIE test). At that point I’m calculating how much each point is worth, looking up suggestions online and praying, lol 🙏
Day 7 (Fri): 7 hrs Took 2 Pass Perfect tests, reviewed missed answers carefully and took notes. Scores: 71% and 73%. Took FINRA SIE test (on their website), 69%. Omg I’m gonna fail tomorrow. 🥺
Friday night I thought “Hmm Maybe I can reschedule for Monday (the deadline to pass for bonus). Two more days and I will be ready!” So I go to the Prometrics website and try to reschedule, seeing one slot for Monday at a site 2 hrs away… awesome.. NOPE, NOT ALLOWED less than 3 days before scheduled exam! (Why did I not think of this Tuesday?) 🙄 So I called customer service, begged and told them I had been sick.. Since they said I could not reschedule the day before the test, I asked if they could cancel it and schedule a new appt for Monday? DENIED. So I took a deep breath, cried a little and came to terms with it. This test is happening, tomorrow. 😫 🤬
Friday night 9pm: As recommended by colleagues and online forums, I listen to S7 whisperer 60 min crash course on YouTube; no notes, listening in bed). Ok, learned some things, great overview/review. Maybe I can pull this off afterall. 🤔 Things are looking up. 😊
Saturday, May 13… Day of Test (2-4pm)
7am woke up, ate a good breakfast, prepared everything I needed to take and do. Now what? Should I take another practice test? Review my notes? Listen to video? I decided no more tests, I’ll listen to the other crash course ( S7 Guru 60 min crash course on YouTube). 🤞
8am—11:30 Crunch time. Im determined to pass this exam!! Spent 3 hours listening to the 60 min S7 Guru video, pausing when needed, replaying as needed. Took 11 pages of color coded notes on the most important points and formulas I needed to remember, mainly on Regulations, Rules & laws (what market does it impact, what type of product, who, timeframes, holding time, etc). I knew this was going to be at least 15% of test (I was right) and these were the main questions I had missed on my Practice Finals.
11:30am Renewed Faith 🙌 DAMN I learned a LOT. I’m gonna pass this thing! I was already getting low 70s on Thursday practice tests and I KNOW I learned enough from the video to pass several more questions. S7 Guru literally saved me, pulling it all together in my mind! 🤯
12pm Went to UPS store, color printed the 2 Achievable dump sheets and my 11 pages of notes from the video! (I think the colors really help my mind retain the info). I scanned over them at every red light on the way. 😂
12:59 arrived at test center. Spent 20 minutes reviewing dump sheets and drilling in my mind what to put on the 2 pages they would give me for notes (see TL;DR for what I used on the test sheets, links to dump sheets at end)
1:20 walk in, first one there.. registration complete at 1:35. To my surprise, they seat me and I can start test immediately!
As soon as the timer started my hands were flying on the 2 laminated sheets they gave me. I spent the first 15 min vigorously writing out things I wanted to reference. 90 minutes left for 85 questions. Watched the timer closely to stay on pace. Used the notepad on the test platform for each question to write out calculations, or break down what each part of the question meant, used critical thinking for answer, marking questions for review when I was stuck between 2 answers. Most importantly, I followed my gut. I knew this stuff! Used calculator for EVERY calculation, even easy ones. Finished all questions with 5 minutes remaining. Reviewed marked questions but changed only 3, if I was SURE my original answer was wrong. Almost all advice I was given in the week before said DO NOT change your answers. Your gut is usually right, unless a later question clarifies something.
I hit submit and held my breath. 🫢 OMG, does that say PASS?!!! Yes, I actually Passed! 😳 I cried out of happiness and relief, was on cloud 9. Swore I would never cram like this again! S7 and S63 will be better, lol.
SO here’s how you can have a better experience than me if you’re a week or two away and wondering how you can possibly pull this off. YOU CAN DO IT! 💪
TIPS FOR CRASH SIE STUDYING (learn from my mistakes)
1 NOTE TAKING: I’ve always learned best by taking a ton of notes, color coded on a google doc. Taking notes reinforces it in my brain and helps me find ways to remember it for myself. However, if you are crash course Studying for the SIE, you do NOT have time to do this, lol. Honestly I barely looked at those notes in the end.
TIP: Read through the content quickly and only take notes when it tells you it’s likely a testable question! Take all quizzes and tests, REVIEW the quiz/test answers (in PP the answers also give you a brief explanation of the concept) and take light notes on that! Do NOT replace reading with the videos! The first 4 chapters I tried to save time doing this and wondered why I was failing the chapter tests. The reading content had way more info than the video! Don’t shoot yourself in the foot and spend even more time you don’t have!
2 DON’T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME on EARLY CONCEPTS! The earlier (and for the most part, less valuable - less test questions) content (at least in the Pass Perfect course) will be reinforced throughout the following chapters in the course. Many of the of the concepts in the first few chapters build over the course, so the basics are reinforced later anyway. I wasted several hours!
3 EXPECT 20-25 hours are needed to complete the course/learn the concepts! You need to understand them, not just memorize them. Give yourself a day on REGULATIONS and 5 hours on OPTIONS, a few hours on BOND YIELDS, these comprised a LOT of questions on the test, could make or break you!
4 TAKE at least 4 PRACTICE FINALS with a goal of 75%, but if you’re not improving, use the crash course Videos, learn the content. (Don’t use those crash course videos until you have completed the course/content for all material. It will be confusing otherwise and feel overwhelming). Don’t just keep taking more tests in lieu of learning!
5 SPEND A FEW HOURS on (free) ACHIEVABLE DUMP SHEETS along with S7 Guru & S7 Whisperer crash course review videos on YouTube! I doubt I would have passed without these! Reviewing them for 4 hours and using them for key points on my tests sheets saved my ass!
I’ve included links below for the FREE Achievable Dump Sheets and the 60 minute crash course videos. Feel free to message me for more help!
GOOD LUCK! It IS Possible to pass in a week! 🍀
SIE DUMP SHEETS: (scroll to bottom of the page, there are links to download them):
https://achievable.me/exams/finra-sie/overview/#resources
S7 Guru 60 min crash course
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hQRLmVspNE
S7 Whisperer 60 min crash course
https://youtu.be/_-x-RFmFAD0?si=i_ZDrrFIWuMOTK6A

My boyfriend and I have been together 2 years and have decided we are ready to have a baby together. This might seem early in the relationship, however, I have been with my fair share of bad boyfriends and I know this one is the one and we will make good parents together. We actually really wanted to have a baby together within the first year however we decided to be responsible as we weren’t living together, didn’t have much money saved and just knew it wasn’t the right time. We are now both 25, we have a house together, have enough savings and feel it is absolutely the right time. We have worked hard to get to this place and are very excited for the next step. Not only are we excited to actually start a family but I have always dreamed about telling my family and how excited they will be. I was also extremely excited to tell my boyfriends family as he is the oldest and our baby would make his parents grandparents for the first time. When I first met my boyfriends Dad, he asked when the grandkids were coming, telling us he couldn’t wait to be a grandpa. He also got out his phone and showed us a video of a gender reveal involving a truck blowing the coloured smoke out of the pipes and told us this is what we would do when we had a gender reveal one day (he is a very proud truck driver from a long line of truck drivers). My boyfriend and I laughed and said that was cool and we will do it one day. Every time we rang my boyfriends Dad as he lives 5 hours away, he would always ask when his grandchildren are coming.
Fast forward a year. My boyfriend and I were still trying to conceive with no luck yet, we knew it wouldn’t happen over night. However, one night we receive a facetime phone call from my boyfriends Dad. He is sitting beside my boyfriends younger brother, we’ll call him Tom, who is 22 and says ‘guess what’. Tom then holds up a new born onesie and says ‘we’re having a baby’.
My heart sinks. And this is where all of my ugly, angry, sad emotions begin. I would also just like to disclose before I go on, that I KNOW I should not feel this way, but it’s just the way I do feel.
My boyfriends younger brother Tom has been with his girlfriend for 4 months, we’ll call her Sarah. She has an 18month old baby with someone else and doesn’t work to take care of this child. Tom lives next door to his Dad and step mom in a rental with 2x of his step brothers, absolute bachelor pad. They all work in the truck yard down the road and smoke bongs in the shed every night. Sarah moved in to the house with her child as soon as she met Tom and sure enough now she is pregnant with his child. Tom is always broke, asking my boyfriend for money all the time. He is constantly caught short for rent, which isn’t even that much considering it is split 3 ways. Tom drives a two door v8 Ute which is his pride and joy, which he will now have to sell to get a family friendly car.
My boyfriend is happy for his brother, yet I feel crushed. I want to feel happy for them.
A few months later, my boyfriend and I took some time off work to visit his dads side of the family (his parents are split). We drove 5 hours to come and stay with them as my boyfriend doesn’t see them very often. Whilst we were up there we met Sarah for the first time and her child from her previous relationship. Sarah, Tom and the child had moved into a slightly bigger ‘bar’ room out the back of the bachelor house and it was absolutely trashed. They are sleeping on a mattress with no sheets, there is clothes, toys, empty food containers, dishes, rubbish covering the floor and surfaces. Tom simply remarked ‘when you have kids, you’ll understand’. I get that, having kids is hard and messy but this was beyond that, and, Sarah doesn’t work she is home all day every day. My boyfriend commented that Tom use to be a neat freak which I found hard to believe.
Whilst we were up there it seemed all everyone could talk about is this baby. Sarah was also constantly leaving her other child with various of Tom’s family members and just going to bed. My boyfriend and Tom’s stepmum quietly said to me that she is constantly left with the child whose nappy is always full. I spent some time with Sarah who mentioned to me that she happened to fall pregnant and asked Tom if he wanted to keep it or if she should abort it. My boyfriend and I had argued over whether we thought it was a planned baby or not, my boyfriend insisting it was planned. Obviously not.
Sarah also began discussing with us that she and Tom were going to do a gender reveal. She then explained that they were going to do the same truck idea that my boyfriends Dad had showed us. I made an excuse to leave the room and I burst into tears. This made me feel like his Dad didn’t actually care if my boyfriend and I had a baby, he just wanted a grandchild no matter where it came from, and Tom did it first. Whilst we were staying with my boyfriends Dad, we also saw so many fights unfold in front of us between Tom and Sarah. Yes couples fight but they were screaming at each other, in front of the 18 month old and getting in each others faces. A very healthy thing for a couple about to be a family of 4. Not long after this trip, Tom and Sarah announced the pregnancy on Facebook and all of my boyfriends family commented on there how excited they were and how Tom is a ‘clever’ boy as there will be 5 generations since Tom and my boyfriends great grandparents are still alive. I again tried to feel happy for them but this was stifled by my feeling of anger. Since day one of meeting my boyfriend I had always put in a HUGE effort to not only meet my boyfriends family but we travelled immensely to meet all sides of family as he has family all over the place. His mum and her partner live away and we often spent lots of weekends with them which was not easy at all as his mum is addicted to hard drugs and my boyfriend is the only family member that still speaks to her. We also travelled 4 hours multiple times to stay with his grand father and visit cousins. We travelled 3 hours on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas with his cousins family and recently we travelled another 6 hour round trip to spend the day with his Nanna who is sick. Family is very important to me and also my boyfriend so I always made a huge effort to visit them with him. This is what has bothered me almost the most, my boyfriend and I have made such an effort with his family, yet, all they can talk about is Tom and Sarah having a baby. Tom and Sarah have not made nearly as much effort as us to meet any family, Sarah has met Tom’s dad and brother (my boyfriend) and that’s it. Everytime my boyfriend speaks to one of his relatives it’s always ‘isn’t it so exciting, not long now’.
A few months after this, my boyfriend and I had a triumph - we were pregnant! Followed by heart ache, an early miscarriage.
I spoke to my family who were extremely supportive and my boyfriend told his who were supportive at the time but just told us to ‘keep trying’. No one has spoken about it since, which is okay, but, I am not okay. Whilst I was feeling so hurt and upset before, it is now millions times worse. I have had good days, and bad days. One of my worst days was recently when Sarah invited us to her baby shower. My boyfriend came home from work and said ‘we’ll have to book some time off work since it’s on the Saturday and we have to travel’. We then got into an argument as I was so hurt that he just assumed I was okay to go to it. After a few days of thought I realised how important it was to my boyfriend and I had to push my feelings aside. I’m still so frustrated though because aside from all of my pain, I KNOW they would not travel 5 hours and take time off work to go to our baby shower if we had one.
So the baby shower is in 2 weeks and I’m still having the same ugly, angry, sad, disgusting thoughts swirling around my head.
Why do they get to have a baby within 4 monts of knowing each other, completely unprepared, no money, no vehicle, no house, no nothing? They didn’t plan this, she just let herself get pregnant or they were so careless not to use protection. My boyfriend and I could’ve gotten pregnant within the first months of dating but we’re not that stupid and irresponsible. My boyfriends stepbrother has moved out of the house and is living in a shed so that Sarah and Tom have more room to have a baby which I think is so completely unfair. And now the other stepbrother that lives there will have an 18month old and a new born in his house which he never signed up for. Tom and Sarah have just gotten pregnant and not thought about anyone else or how this effects anyone else. My boyfriend and I have worked long, hard hours to save for our dream and yet we’re here watching it unfold for someone else whilst we deal with the heart ache of getting so close and losing it. I work in disability which is extremely mentally draining and my boyfriend is a diesel mechanic which is physical and hard. Sarah doesn’t work, yes she takes care of her child yet they’re living in filth and she manages to palm him off most of the time anyway. Tom is a casual at his work and spends most of his pay check on weed and smokes every night. Yet, the entire family thinks they are so incredible and wow! They’re having a baby! I feel so cheated, I feel like it should be us, and I know that’s so incredibly selfish but we couldn’t have planned this more if we tried yet they simply didn’t use protection and get to live out our dream.
I’m wondering how on earth I am going to manage to get through this damn baby shower and I would love to know peoples thoughts on this, but please, be kind 😭

Shore-ing Up Sides
What kind of a name is this episode? Stupid title. It does give us a clue that this episode will show the demise of friendships and that the cast takes sides. They split up! The casts of NJ are all doing interviews online and on TV. Don't look online or any entertainment news on TV if you don't want to know who switches sides and all of that. I know who switches sides, but I will dance around the subject in the recap. But I will talk about it in the comment section. I doubt anyone cares if it's spoiled, but you never know. We got a long season ahead. Please! I hope the arguing isn't as bad as last year!
The cast is still down at the Shore. It looks beautiful and also fun! Of course, they are still divided. Jen and Bill A is with Dolores and Paul. Teresa and Louie went home because Gabriella is leaving for college. Rachel and John are with Adult Jen Fessler and her husband Jeff along with Danielle and Nate. Melissa and Joe are with Marge and her Joe--he really loves her, he's rubbing her feet, very clingy. I would hate it! But that's just me. Most women love to be pampered. Not me.
John asks Adult Jen F about the party the night before. He secretly wants to know why she is hanging around with the enemy, Teresa. Jen states that she never had a problem with Teresa, Rachel looks at her with daggers, she is mad as hell. She states in her talking head that Adult Jen couldn't stand Teresa and that now that Adult Jen has jumped ship, Rachel is done with her. She is very hurt and called Adult Jen F stupid.
Dolores asks Jen A what is going on between Melissa and her. Jen says she is not feeling her and is not a chump. Melissa tells Marge that Jen A spread rumors, so she is not happy with her. The bad feelings is mutual between these two women...
Melissa is throwing a Birthday Party for Joe. It's going to be an Italian theme party. She and Marge discuss what to do about Jen A because she might feel like the lone enemy there without Teresa. Melissa thinks she and Bull should attend. So, with that, Joe Gorga calls Bill and extends an invitation to him and his wife. Bill tells him thank you, but his wife Jen is still not in a good place with Melissa. Jen is not having it. She is still hurt from last year and thinks Joe's invite was not sincere. She is glad that Bill finally stood up for her. She says they are a team from now on. He will stand up for her or he will feel her wrath! Bill just smiles at her no matter what she says. Why is he always smiling?!
Teresa and all her girls are packing up for Gabriella. Gia is crying, all the girls are crying. Gia tells Gabriella that she is so proud of her for getting into the University of Michigan. It's a very had college to get into. Teresa is also crying. Teresa ex, Joe Guidice calls. Teresa can't look at him or she will cry. He tells them all this is a good thing. Louie comes in and tries to cheer them up too. Joe can't afford college, so Teresa and Louie are paying. I doubt Louie is paying, but Producers put Teresa on the spot and asked her if Louie is also paying. Of course she is going to say yes. Pretty sure only Teresa is paying. I saw a preview that Louie went through all of Teresa's money. So, there's that.
Teresa and Louie go outside. She tells him she is in her love bubble with him and no matter what happened at the party or with their enemies she has his love. What does enemies have to do with their love bubble? They are holding hands, clinging to each other while they bring up John Fuda, they rip him apart. Louie called him ugly and a loser. Louie you're no prize in the looks either so no room to talk. Teresa tells him he handled it with grace with John and she is sorry he has to deal with this. He says the same to her, she doesn't deserve any of this. I feel so bad what these two have to put up with. Not! Louie handled it with grace! What the... such an odd thing to say. Louie wrote on Instagram that Teresa has so much grace. I would not describe these two with the word grace.
Joe Gorga's party starts. It looks like fun. The men were doing shots on a blow-up doll's ass that John brought. Ass shots are not my style of fun, but to each their own.
Rachel is complaining about Adult Jen F's betrayal and Marge is talking about Jen A. Marge thinks Jen A should have shown up. Why? I wouldn't if I was her. Rachel agrees with me and says she wouldn't have shown up either.
Back home Teresa throws a going away dinner party for Gabriella at a restaurant. Louie's boys are there along with her daughters. It's a nice family scene. They all reminisce and have a nice time together. Cheers Gabriella! I hope she succeeds in whatever career that she decides to do. I am sure she will.
Back at the party John and Paul joke around with the other men and make up. Oh, and Frank is there. I thought he was off the show for good. He tells Joe that he misses him and that he is Starchy to his Hutch. What?!! Oh, and Frankie Jr. Isn't in Dolores' background family tagline. It's Paul and her daughter. Maybe Frank Jr. had enough of the show.
Marge, Rachel and Adult Jen F sit down. Marge is going to get her. She asks her about Teresa and Louie. Marge is going on and on about it, she is annoyed. Jackie sits down and takes Adult F's side. Marge and Rachel are not having it. Marge tells Adult Jen that she doesn't understand what she is doing, she hated them. Adult Jen is not budging, she now loves Teresa and will be friends with whoever she wants. Rache; starts crying about all of this. Adult Jen feels bad for Rachel, but she loves Teresa now! Rachel feels very betrayed, and Marge is not having what Adult Jen A is putting down. This is messy. Jen F told Marge she is not Marge's soldier, and she will do what she wants and be friends with who she wants. There is a lot of arguing going on and I am sure it will continue. Jackie is comforting Adult Jen and Marge and Rachel are talking about Jen F to Danielle, Rachel is still crying. The betrayal is real. Danielle agrees with Rachel and Marge--she says Adult Jen F isn't loyal and should never do that to her best friends.
Adult Jen F is trying with all her might to tell everyone that she is the best friend anyone could ever have! I don't know about that. What do you all think? Is Jen F a traitor or is Marge and Rachel being unreasonable? If someone does me harm and spread rumors about me. I wouldn't be too fond if my friend befriended that person who she knew for a minute and said she disliked. It's hurtful to do that to a longtime friend who you trusted. That's my take on this.
Oh yeah, and Joe Gorga gets a nice big Italian cannoli cake! Besides the arguing, there were a lot of people there having a lot of fun. Everyone wished him a Happy Birthday and it ended on a happy scene with the delicious cake! Who doesn't love cake?
To Be Continued...

(Warning long read ahead)
Hi! For the sake of privacy I won't refer to anyone in my story by there real names I will go by these fake names I'll use. Anyways let's begin.....
So I recently got over a rough break up with my ex and in order to move on I downloaded the dating app Tinder. I swiped right on a couple of people but I ended up meeting this really sweet guy named Sasuke. He was super sweet and he helped me out with my situation that I was in. He saw that I was in a rough spot so he offered his home to me so that way I can bounce back and be able to grab my own apartment again after my ex destroyed my credit with a derogatory mark. So after meeting him on February 16th and only knowing him for like 3 days I moved in. Best sleep I had in a while right. After like the 5th or 6th day I decided to have the sexy time with Sasuke. It was good but I feel like I moved to fast on doing it with him but it's too late for regrets now.
So during that first week he was showing me affection. Giving me hugs and he gave me a kiss before I went to work at my job. After the sexy time happened I noticed he beginned to change... He would say that affection is based on actions and saying I love you to you isn't really a true way to show ones love for one another. I was like cool so how do you show affection to another person and he was like its based on actions and what you do for a person. Again he's not completely wrong but the problem with that way of thinking came out way later...
After a month of dating which he took me downtown Atlanta and I was always allowed to ride with him he says that I was his girlfriend. I was surprised because he never gave me a title until now and it took me off guard but I was happy that he called me his girlfriend. We dated each other for like 2 months and we did have our arguments along the way. When I wanted a hug or a kiss he would shove me off of him. If I said a opinion he didn't like he was quick to punch me in my arm or slap my thigh or whatever the case maybe. He says love is based on actions right so I told him having a hug or kiss is a action so why couldn't he do it??
He always says that I force my trauma onto him but I never had any real trauma happen to me??? He would always tell me fuck my feelings when we argue and that he has all of this bad stuff that happens to him (Ex: physical abuse or being stabbed ect don't wanna name all the trauma) so why do I feel entitled as a woman to complain and say he hurted my feelings when he had all these things happened to him and you don't see him crying about it. He was basically telling me to suck it up and deal with it on my own because it's not his responsibility to cuddle me which I'm not asking for I'm just asking for him to CARE a little about my feelings.
I often would ask him why did you open your house up to me if you felt uncomfortable with someone staying with you??? Because you could have just left me alone at my friend's house. He would always say oh I felt bad I felt like you needed the help which btw he constantly throws in my face that I never took advantage of his kind gesture because I didn't have to pay anything to stay here I just needed to work on myself and get me another apartment again.
At this point the arguments intensified because he never showed me affection and he always shoved me away from him and I felt lonely... I always wondered why his girlfriends cheated on him and why the other two dumped him but maybe that's the reason why because the lack of affection?? Regardless he always says fuck my feelings and never seem to cared about them. When it was his birthday and I bought him a crap ton of balloons and cake he was like I told you I don't like that shit so why did you do it??? He never once said thank you for what I did btw until I asked him about it later.
We argued again yesterday and apparently it was enough to warrant him dumping me because I was too soft and sensitive and he doesn't have time to cuddle me which I'm not asking for again I'm just asking him to CARE A LITTLE. He looked me dead in my face and said that all people inherit violent tendencies. He said if he threw his mom down a flight of stairs imagine what I could do to you and he looked me seriously in my eyes when he said that. I feel like he was mentally and verbally abusive but physical I'm not sure because we wrestled and play fight but sometimes he would hit me in the face or shove me through a room ECT and never apologized for it because he says he always warns me about the consequences of us play fighting.
But overall I was just trying to see if this is worth me saving?? Should I try to make amends and continue to date him or should I run for the hills like my friends are telling me?? He did threaten to beat me way worse then his mom so that is a red flag and when I got up this morning I looked to my left and saw a whole bunch of woman on his phone which might explain why he doesn't want to work it out with me because he was cheating which I may be reaching on. When I tried to dump him in that first month because we were two different people with showing ways of affection he told me to try and work it out and don't give up on us and when I tried to apply that same logic to the situation he just said he couldn't do it anymore in order to protect his money and not go to jail for beating me he said it was necessary. So should I stay or should I go?
(If you have any questions I'll answer them in the comments this is getting long lol)

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/Kitchen_Earth7954
Originally posted to AmItheAsshole + their own page
Previous BoRU originally posted by u/KittenDealinMama
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: AITA for telling my wife that I’m tired of raising a kid that is not mine + 1 year UPDATE
Trigger Warnings: possible domestic violence, possible financial abuse, possible divorce
RECAP
Original Post - May 19, 2023
I (31m) am married to my wife Amber (30f) we have a daughter Emma(7f) the problem is my wife’s best friend Jennifer (30f) has a daughter as well Harper (7f) well Harpers dad is a lazy sack of crap and refuses to do anything with his daughter. He is the type of guy that brags about how he never changed a diaper.
Jennifer and Harper are usually at Amber and my house on the weekends because Harper’s dad is drinking and watching sports all weekend. On Saturdays I normally sped all day with my daughter because I don’t see her as much as i want to during the week. However with Harper being there every Saturday anything I do with Emma I have to do with Harper. Take Emma to the zoo it’s Emma, Harper and I. Taught them both how to ride bikes, takes them both to dance class, take them both to the kids salon, and so on.
Mother’s Day was the last draw, I took them both to dance class Saturday morning ( Amber and I also pay for both dance classes because dead beet won’t) on the way home Emma asked if we could stop to get something for mom for Mother’s Day, I said sure but then it ended up I had to buy something for Harper to her her mom as well. On the way home I just kept thinking why am I buying someone else’s wife a Mother’s Day gift, that’s his job.
A few days later (because I did not want to ruin Mother’s Day) I told my wife that I am tired of raising Harper, her real father needs to step up. I tired of it taking away time I get to spend with Emma. She said that Jennifer is her best friend and we need to be there for Harper.
Now she is not speaking to me and sleeping in the guest bedroom. So AITA?
Just wanted to add some updates to questions I see.
Emma and Harper are best friends.
It was my idea to spend Saturday with Emma, I work more during the week so I wanted to spend Saturday with Emma and to give my wife a bit of a break.
We pay for things be Jennifer’s husband thinks it’s a waste on money to pay for dance class and Jennifer can’t afford to pay by herself.
Jennifer and Harper do things with Amber and Emma 1 or 2 times a week together during the weeknights.
VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE
Comments

where’s Harper’s mom in all this?

OOP: Just hanging out at our place, Harper started to come along because I thought it would be mean to take her friend and not her. At the start it was not all the time like it is now

So your wife probably enjoys hanging out childfree with her friend every weekend. If your wife doesn’t agree to friend free days maybe the moms should start needing to attend the outings too? I don’t understand why Harpers mom isn’t at least driving kids to dance since you pay it etc?

OOP: Our house is on the way to Dance, so she comes here first. I also like going to Dance, it’s kind of fun being the only dad there, and after class we have our routine of going to the local bakery and getting a croissant and smoothie for breakfast.

are the gift and things you spend on her getting paid back to you?

OOP: The short answer is no, the longer version is Amber and I make a decent amount more money than Jennifer and her husband and her husband dose not like to waste his money on the kid. Jennifer can not afford to pay us back, So any money I spend on her kid I know we are not getting back.

7 years in, you've set the expectation and Harper is NOT going to understand your withdrawing. So hmm.... for taking 7 years to decide this was an issue.

OOP: I see what your saying, but it’s gradually gotten to this point over 7 years. Part of it is she is here more now than when she was younger, part of it is as Emma has gotten older we do more involved things, when they were three we just went to the playground down the street now it’s trips to the science center.

you should definitely have a talk with this sorry excuse of a father, if anything just to tell him what you think of him

OOP: I would but he is not the civil discourse type of guy, but more of the Alpha male beat you up type of person

Why do you pay for her dance classes? Why can’t either of Harper’s parents do it?

OOP: I pay for the classes because Emma wanted Harper in class with her. Harpers father is they type of who is my money is my money and Jennifer’s money is their money and he does not want to waste money on classes.
 
Update #1 - June 2, 2023 (2 weeks later)
So quite a few people has asked for an update on this situation, sorry it’s taken so long but it’s been a hectic few weeks.
As for the updates the Amber and I are fine. Her reaction was based on poor word choices by me, poor communication by both of us, and some things I was unaware of at the time.
The short version is:
Things at home were much worse than I was aware of for Jennifer, and my wife had only recently found out how bad things were.
Mother’s Day was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Jennifer as well, she was raised in a you must stay together for the kids family, when Harper came to me for a gift she realized that her daughter did not see her sperm donor as a father so it was time to get out.
Jennifer came to my wife to ask for help leaving because she had no family in the area and Jennifer does not have the financial resources to leave on her own.
So the night my wife was going to ask me if we could help her is when I told her I was tired of raising someone else’s kid. That’s what caused her reaction.
The Saturday after out initial argument Jennifer did not come over and Emma went to her grandparents, so the wife and I had a long discussion about what was going on, that’s when I found out all the stuff going on with Jennifer.
The wife and I decided the Jennifer and Harper can stay with us for the time being. My problem was never with those 2 it was that I had to take over for the deadbeat ( or dead beet if you prefer).
When we told Emma about this she was super happy her friend was staying with her. We had a conversation with her that if she wants to have time with either parent with out Harper just let us know, and we do not want her to feel left out of anything.
Last weekend with the help of a Uhaul and some friends of mine we got all of Jennifer’s and Harper’s stuff and moved it into our house. The good thing is we have a 4 bedroom house so everyone gets a bedroom, the bad news is my wife’s office got moved to the basement.
Wish me luck we shall see how this goes.
 

----NEW UPDATE----

Update #2: 1 year later - May 12, 2024 (11 months later)
So it’s been almost a year since my last update but with Mother’s Day upon us I thought I would post an update and try to answer the questions I’ve gotten.
Jenn and Harper are still living with us. As I mentioned before Jenn did not make that much money, she worked as a phlebotomist for our local health network. The good news is with the current nursing shortage they have a program where they will pay for employees to go to nursing school. She was able to start that in the end of August. The bad news is it’s an 18 month program and they only let you work 20hrs a week while you are in the program. So the arrangement is one she graduates she will move out then. That should be next May.
The Divorce with Dead Beet is still ongoing. Once he found out he was going to have to pay child support he tried every dirty nasty trick he could think of. No idea when that will be finished.
My wife is doing good, she happy she is helping her best friend, but 5 people in a house is a lot more work than 3. Since she works from home the pre and post school work falls on her.
Emma and Harper are still best friends. Shockingly Harper is doing much better in this environment than before. They don’t do everything together anymore. Harper quit dance class, but she started with soccer. I think knowing that she will get fatherly attention no matter what she is doing has given her some freedom to pursue other interest. Harper has turned into my Lego buddy. Emma never had any interest but Harper and I have done some nice sets together.
Emma and I still have our daddy daughter dates on the weekend, I still take her to dance class, and she started to take fencing classes. I don’t know if I should be proud or scared that she could defeat me in a sword fight.
I think I am doing better a year later. That there is a plan with a timetable for Jenn and Harper has relived a lot of stress from my life. That I also don’t have to see Dead Beet has also been a relief. I also try to take a few hours a month for me time and to do my hobbies. The bad part is I had thought that I was done with the portion of my life where I had roommates. It will also be nice when Jenn either gets her nursing job and/or gets child support so that Amber and I can stop footing the bill for so much.
For all the people that said Jenn was going to become our sister wife, or that I was going cheat of my wife with her, or that she was going to ruin my marriage out of spite, or any of the weird sexual fantasies some of you people had absolutely nothing has happened.
 

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