Context: American health insurance system. Long story short emgality is the only preventative that keeps me able to work. I was unable to work for over a year. I have a whole handful of chronic illness issues but the MIGRAINES. Jesus CHRIST.
I have migraines that have been a daily constant for 4.5 years, like this migraine never fully goes away. I have cluster headaches and trigeminal neuralgia. So my head is the biggest freaking issue. (Also fibromyalgia, hyperPOTS, inflammatory arthritis, and just found out also autism lol cool cool cool.)
Point being it has been a JOURNEY and I have tried everything. The things that work are: emgality, memantine for brain fog, nurtec for an extra option, propranolol (for pots but also good for migraines I guess), ginger, magnesium, riboflavin, dry needling and trigger point injections in my neck and jaw. Also I use weed when I'm not working. But the Emgality is KEY and I've been on it for a couple years.
But we all know insurance can just MEH change your coverage. So my emgality stopped being covered in February and it took 3 months to figure out why and get the savings card from the manufacturer. It sucked and my migraines absolutely got worse, significantly worse, which makes everything worse really. They denied it, I appealed it 3 times and had my doctor do a consult, they still denied it. My neurologist re prescribed it with the loading dose because of the gap, insurance required another prior authorization be process so they could they deny it again.
Finally they officially denied it for the 4th time. Got the savings card, got the loading dose, the pharmacy told me they would accept the card every month.
Tried to refill it this month and the savings card doesn't work. Takes me a few days to figure out what the fuck is going on and honestly I'm still not 100% positive because they don't have to tell you lol. It seems that my insurance has not denied this prescription in their system now since it is a 1 dose / month prescription which is technically different than the loading dose. So because they haven't technically denied this version of the prescription, the system won't take the motherfucking savings card because it's waiting on insurance which is waiting on prior authorization which took THREE WEEKS for them to process last time but oh they're requiring it! Again! Literally the 5th time this year! They're gonna deny it again because they always do, but it could take a mystery amount of time and I NEED my meds.
I tried so hard to prevent this happening again but I couldn't do anything else. I refilled it as soon as it was refill-able so that I would have as long as possible but it's still only a few days extra so I literally could not force this to be processed.
I also pay so much for my meds with this insurance and spend so much of my income on Healthcare even with insurance. Like fuck me. What am I supposed to do? I swear I'm doing everything my neurologist suggests and I've found meds that help me so that I can work like a good capitalist adult and I'm still fucked. I will miss work and I will be fucked, again. My relationships suffer because I'm in pain, I'm useless, I'm more sad and grumpy. I don't feel like doing anything fun. My partner is amazing but like obviously this situation makes us both sad and frustrated and I can't do as much and I hate it.
Idk what I'm supposed to fucking do. I'm gonna call the Lilly line for the savings card and my insurance on Monday. My partner asked if this is when we call a lawyer but I don't think the company is even doing anything they're not allowed to do. The industry is just designed to fuck us as thoroughly and roughly as possible.
If I could call the president of the board of my health insurance company and the CEO and whoever is in charge of "authorizing" meds then I would like to say. First of all dishonor on you dishonor on your cow. Second of all, did your mother die birthing you from the sheer evil passing through her? Third of all, who gave you the AUDACITY to fucking shit radioactive waste on every doctor that doesn't work for you and ignore their prescribing decisions? Fourth of all, I've collected the radioactive shit and mailed it to you and I need you to FUCKING EAT SHIT. Fifth of all, I wish you the worst migraine I have ever had for the rest of your miserable life and I'm going to pin you to one of those spinning wheels and spin you around while people toss rocks at your head. Then I'm going to pour vinegar on you and salt your eyes. I hope your socks are full of thorns and soggy. I hope you find sandpaper in an orifice where you don't expect or want it.

I recently got diagnosed with adhd but I don’t feel any relief with the meds or the therapy I feel like my symptoms are more ocd ? l count almost everything in sight when stressed or driving, I also need to have my fingers moisturized at all times or else my hands feel like they will fall off. I constantly repeat words in my head over and over until they seem right or I’ve reached a certain number and I’m struggling alot with criticism from others. I get a small thought and it spirals into many intrusive ones of thinking everyone hates me. I’m currently obsessing over someone stealing my car to where I don’t even want to leave my home. I’ve heard this could all be related to OCD and I’m just lost and exhausted of feeling this way

I’ll start by saying we have an appointment for Wednesday with vet, wellness vaccine appt but now $$ appt i guess. 80 lb german shepherd loves to be active run and jump. past few day has limped on right front paw, not swollen or cries when i touch it. he did have a sticker burr up in the crevice of paw that i removed last night? what would be some signs and symptoms of fracture vs just sore from stepping on sticker. He is a bit over dramatic and soaks up the love and attention these past few days.

Not really sure where to start with this post. I recently got two fairly large tattoos from a new artist. I have several color tattoos already so I figured I knew approximately what to expect. Both of these tattoos, however, were significantly more painful than any of my previous ones and they both bruised within a few hours of the appointment. I’ve never had bruising or swelling before. My skin was swollen after these tattoos and looked progressively more chewed up as the sessions went on. I started feeling panicky, thinking that surely I was going to have scars and the tattoos would be ruined. Thankfully they were fine and healed well.
There are a few things that I think contribute to these most recent sessions being painful: 1. I got my first color tattoos in my early 20s and I’m now almost 30 2. I have been diagnosed with MS since getting my first tattoos and have started an immunosuppressant medication 3. I think the artist is heavy handed
If the artist IS heavy handed, is it appropriate for me to ask him to be a little more gentle going forward? I really like his work and I would hate to stop going to him for something he might be able to adjust, but I also don’t want to overstep. He’s the artist, not me, and I don’t feel right telling him how to do his job.

GERD for 20 years. Omeprazole or Pantoprazole the whole time. Before I started treatment, I had all the classical symptoms and the acid destroyed most of my teeth. After treatment, I mostly had stomach cramps and back pain, with a lot of bloating, but no actual reflux. Also, it's difficult for me to burp, as if my esophagus got thinner or something.
Lately, I've had symptoms close to Orthopnea - shortness of breath while lying down (mostly at night) and a slightly tight chest. Thing is, I'm not gasping for air or anything or respirating faster nor any swollen feet. I do have a bicuspid aortic valve, but I read that Orthopnea is usually from left ventrical dysfunction, which mine is fine. Kind of feels like a stuffed nose, except in my lungs/throat, hard to describe. Sit upright and it almost immediately goes away. I've noticed my omeprazole has started to not work as great lately and find myself taking antacids and pepto. Might be the garlic and lemon juice I've added to my daily diet (removing them now). I'm thinking of taking a second dose in the evening and seeing what happens.
Also, last year I developed allergies and had trouble breathing for the first time in my life around the same time as now last year. Could be that too, or both. Also, a history of anxiety.
Anyone else?

I happened upon this reddit group while looking up those who are/have been on lovenox shots and decided it would be helpful for myself to share my story with others who could somewhat understand what I really went through.
I'm a 34F recovering from some traumatic events.
October 2023, I found out I was pregnant after several years of my husband and I trying. I was over the moon. Then began the 1st trimester fun. Over the next month, my morning sickness was more of an all day sickness. I pretty much survived on crackers and toast while I hid in my office and tried to survive my days at work. I started to experience shortness of breath but I though it could have been just because I was so fatigued. But then it got worse. I could hardly walk from office to office at work without being short of breath and having pains in my chest. No way could this be "normal".
I had my initial OB appointment set but it was still a couple weeks away. I saw my PCP and told her about my symptoms. During that office visit I told her just how bad the shortness of breath was and that it hurt in the center of chest. Since I had a little cough cuz it was so dry in the doctor office she diagnosed me as having "issues with allergies" but also had me tested for flu, strep, and covid. All negative. No blood tests or any scans done.
Two days later in the evening, I was sitting on the side of my bed when I had a coughing spell. The next thing I know I'm on the floor. At first my body felt heavy and I thought I was dreaming. When I opened my eyes I realize I ended up on floor face first and there was blood EVERYWHERE. I started screaming for my husband. I have no clue if I had passed out for just a few minutes or if it was longer. Judging by how much blood was there, it had to be at least a little while.
911 was called. I had a head wound several inches wide. I think when I passed out my head hit the corner of my nightstand and the floor kind caught my face. EMTs arrived and helped me off the floor (I think I passed out in the transport chair briefly). I was taken to our local ER. The doctor working that night stitched up the laceration carefully (29 stitches later) and said they were going to do some scans and bloodwork. I was worried about how all this would affect my unborn child but I also needed answers. The hushed whispers of some of the techs taking care of me had me starting to feel this cold fear creep into body and soul. Doctor said there was a huge embolism in my chest and they were going to get me transferred ASAP.
Once they found a hospital that could take me, off I went in the ambulance. At this point I had already spent most of the night and early morning in the ER. My husband and family had been up with me all night. My pregnancy wasn't known to my parents yet. What a way for them to l find out.
Once admitted to a different hospital, the staff went to work. Changed into a hospital gown. More scans. More blood work. Heart echo. Later that afternoon I was wheeled down to my thrombectomy. I found out right before the procedure just how life-threatening my condition was and due to my pregnancy I'd have to be awake for the procedure. I thought, not for the first time that day, that maybe I wasn't going to survive. The procedure took about 3 hours I believe. As I layed on the operating table I had felt every tug as they removed blood clot after blood clots. When the procedure was finished, I got to see how huge the clots in my chest were. They removed 15 of them.
During all this time I didn't sleep a wink. I was scared I was losing my baby. I was scared I was going to lose my life. That night when I was recovering, I was still terrified but exhausted. My right eye was swollen shut. I looked like I had gotten into a fight and lost. Found out that I had fractured my orbital socket in my fall but the following appointments in the next couple weeks would reveal that everything would heal okay on its own and my eyesight (once the swelling went down) would be okay.
While I was recovering from the thrombectomy, they did an ultrasound. I saw my baby on the monitor for the first time. I found out that I was about 8 weeks along and the baby was okay. I waS in the hospital for 4 days and then discharged home.
The following week it took me a while for me to stop being scared of being home alone. Thankfully I had family and friends willing to sit with me to keep me company. God bless the people who brought meals from my church. I couldn't enjoy them due to my morning sickness (still hadn't told anyone outside my family) but the love and food was appreciated.
The next couple months were full of appointments, high risk visits, lovenox shots, and trying to survive my first trimester. Every ultrasound I was nervous to see if my baby would be okay or not. Every time they said everything was progressing okay I'd sigh in relief.
However. I ended getting hospitalized again with severe pre-eclampsia at 25 weeks (March 2024). Blood flow in my placenta wasn't good and my baby wasn't growing. A few days later my kidneys and heart were having issues. My daughter had to be delivered via c-section. They couldn't wait any longer. At first I had hope. My spunky premie was a fighter. But her body/lungs were too weak. They tried everything in the NICU. My daughter died in my arms after being part of this world for 6 days.
I'm still recovering physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually from this ordeal. I'm still on lovenox shots at this point. Currently in the stages of working with a hematologist to figure out if my clotting issues were just pregnancy related or if I have some underlying condition.
So. If you stuck through this entire post, thanks for letting me share my story.

when i wake up my heart kinda races almost every morning is this a possible symptom? I also have a small buffalo hump, mostly all fat, vision changes, ears ringing, red cheeks all the time, fat around my neck under my jaw and a lot of fat on my lower belly. I wake up with little headaches. my bones are always cracking and my low back hurts if i walk a lot. muscles hurt feet hurt hands swell up and hurt sometimes. I have acne on my face, my chest and my back. thinning hair on my head and hairs growing on my chin and buttocks. i know i have pcos but im starting to think this is cushings… oh and i feel dizzy and get hot flashes sometimes too… I have an appointment to see an endocrinologist in October but I’m wondering if my PCP could start testing? sooner ?

Hello every one!
When I am doing diamond art/even writing I tend to have a tight grip and I have arthritis in my writing/tool hand due to a pretty severe injury that required reconstruction. It affects my thumb/ring/middle.
So I use the pencil grips that are included but I’m wondering if a bigger drill tool would be better? Or anyone else can recommend any thing that’s been helpful?
I’m not wanting to spend more than 25.00. If possible.
I try to remind myself to relax my hand more.

After a long battle with thinking that it's not ADHD it's just I'm not putting effort I finally decided to give a shot at getting diagnosed and went to a psychiatrist I didn't particularly tell him I was thinking I have ADHD for not creating any bias in diagnosis and ended up getting diagnosed with anxiety with a anti depressant and clonampro prescribed to me I wasn't doubting it so I took the 30 days dose and nothing changed with me so I went to psychiatrist to follow up this time I ended up saying I think I had ADHD to which in response he told me to meet a psychologist so I booked and appointment for it ended up talking about my life experiences for about 1 and hour half and she didn't feel like I was trying hard enough and don't have ADHD symptoms as ADHD kids are hyperactive and are diagnosed at an early age and recommended me to get personality test and ended up telling me to continue talking anxiety meds as it takes time to work and shifted me to a Fluoxetine 40mg from 20mg it's been another month and nothing has changed and I don't know what I should do now as I'm afraid that even if I do get ADHD diagnosed what if the meds don't do anything for me and I'm full of self loathing over every little thing that have planned but I do not end up doing.
These are the symptoms I experience : Feeling lazy and sleepy all the time and procrastinate things till the last minute till the pressure gets me to act
Trouble with personal hygiene even getting normal things done like brushing and bath feels like a task and trying to avoid it which led to me getting a root canal and 4 fillings last year
Avoiding social interaction for a long time going out only twice or thrice during the month
Same with school and college I used to skip a lot because I couldn't find the patience to stay I was enrolled in classes for boards initially I went but then I started skipping those as well.
COVID helped me with college as lecturers were online but I couldn't really pay attention to them cause it would space out and can't rewind stuff in live lectures so I just joined those lectures for attendance then when those lectures recordings were available offline I used to watch them later so I could rewind any part where I spaced out .
Taking impulsive decision and feeling guilty after taking them like spending money on something I don't really need or in game purchases
Hyperactivity and Fidgeting keep moving my legs and pulling hairs when doing something that doesn't interest me with slight active tremors in hands which have not gotten worse since I have no problem with writing and doing daily tasks experiencing for last 5 years that I can remember
Trouble with concentrating and forgetful which leads to silly mistakes repeatedly. Haven't sit still for an hour concentrating on something without getting up or moving legs or making up some kind of excuse just to get up and avoid the task that I was supposed to do
Problem of maintaining eye contact during a conversation and spacing out during a conversation having issues to do both at the same time which sometimes lead to very awkward moments.

My rheumatologist(only one in my area)has been very difficult to understand. I was referred to her with ANA positive results somewhat high. Also tested positive with HLA b27. Also at one point had very little cortisol which has returned to normal. All other labs are mostly normal. My symptoms are all over severe pain, weight gain, Raynauds, mild skin issues, brain fog, weakness especially in my hands, and hairloss. Im currently on hydroxychloriquine and methotrexate. This all started with covid. My rheumatologist says 100% fibromyalgia every time but believes I have more or would not continue to see me. After responding to prednisone has talked about lupus and MCTD and has been very unclear about it. I asked her one day to tell what is my exact diagnosis and she looked at me and said mixed connective tissue disease and said something about lupus being a broad area. However, every visit I have had since then says fibromyalgia as the reason for my visit. So I emailed the nurse (who told me other patients have also been unclear with this dr)and asked for my diagnosis in writing. They responded with fibromyalgia. I replied with asking why she told me mctd. The nurse forwarded me an email from the Dr that says:

Generalized body pain and tenderness, mental fogginess, mood disturbance consistent with diagnosis of fibromyalgia versus post-COVID syndrome

Seronegative inflammatory arthritis responsive to prednisone o early MCTD. What does this mean? I'm so confused.

The second half of a long chapter.
“Oh, professor page,” I heard Anna yell from the living room, “You better get your ass out here quick.”
I quickly rinsed off my hands scurried into the living room, greeted by the two couples sprawled out on the sectional couch in their swimwear, Anna and Kelly in string bikinis and Archer and Paul in speedos. My cock was never limp that day, but there were moments – typically, those of the most intense humiliation – when it was harder than others. Seeing the four fit young bodies in all (or at least, most of) their glory was one of them. And while my gaze naturally was first drawn to Anna’s toned, long legs and taut midriff, followed by Kelly shorter, but still attractive legs and pretty toes, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to admiration of the slender, muscular swimmer bodies of the two young men as well.
My eyes also drifted over Paul’s bare feet. It was the first time I had seen bare the feet I had kissed in the bar through his sneakers or in the apartment through his thick wool socks. I was curious, naturally, but didn’t want to be too obvious, so quickly averted my glance before getting a good look. I need not have worried, however, as I would be spending a great deal of time up close and personal with his bare feet (and Anna’s) in the months that followed, starting a few minutes later. Paul did not have the same obsession with having his feet worshipped as Luke did, but there is no question that he greatly enjoyed the power trip of having an older authority figure quite literally at his feet.
I must also confess that in addition to dwelling as long as I dared on the breasts of Anna (like Brooke’s, ample but not overly large) and Kelly (slightly larger and, to my mind, less proportional to her shorter frame), my eyes also flittered over the speedo-clad crotches of Paul and Archer. Speedos leave so little to the imagination. While I was mortified when forced to wear a speedo, my inadequacy on full display, these two young athletes were completely at ease. Their muscular, chiseled bodies were one explanation for that; the size of their bulges was another.
“Perhaps the professor page can stop ogling our bodies long enough to get us all another round of drinks,” said Anna.
Kelly said, “I think he’s staring more at the boys’ bodies than he is at ours, Anna. I’m jealous.”
“Most cucks are closet fags, so that’s no surprise,” said Paul.
I wanted to object that I wasn’t gay, closet or otherwise. I wanted to say, “What about you, someone who enjoys humiliating other males, forcing them to dress in feminine clothing, spanking their bare bottoms with your bare hands, perhaps other, more intimate things….What does all of that make you?” But I dared not I was say anything of the kind. Instead I simply confirmed their drink orders and hurried off to make them, checking on my stroganoff. And being honest with myself, while I knew beyond a doubt that I was not homosexual, I did have to admit that I was not immune to the physical attractions of dominant, young alpha males. Did I have this attraction prior to the events of the last seven months when Luke came onto the scene like a cyclone? Probably on some level, yes, but it had been latent. No longer.
When I returned to the living room with a serving tray holding their four cocktails, trying hard not to spill any of them, Paul said, “We know our page boy knows how to clean shoes, but what about other personal duties? Who besides me would like a foot massage?”
“That sounds like an excellent idea, dude. Count me in,” said Archer.
“You two boys go ahead. If he does a good job, Kelly and I may have him massage our feet as well,” said Anna.
“Start with Archer. On your knees, of course, page,” said Paul.
“Yes sir,” I said, kneeling before Archer, and beginning to work on his feet with warmup twists and arch rubs. His feet were somewhat calloused, but well formed.
“Ah, that feels good. He’s actually not too bad at this,” Archer said.
Pointing at my crotch, Kelly said, “Look, his little cock is stiff again. Are you excited to massage my boyfriend’s feet, professor?” As she spoke, she pressed her toes lightly against my cock through my tights. It surprised me that it was Kelly, rather than Anna (or even Paul), to first touch my liberated cock.
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“No? But your little stiffie says otherwise. Are you not being honest with us, professor?” She pressed a little harder with her foot, smiling wickedly.
In truth, the entire situation was incredibly arousing and, therefore, incredibly humiliating. Which made it still more arousing. It was a viscous cycle, one which I had been getting increasingly used to with Luke and Brooke. But the dynamics with my students and Archer were different, and, if anything, more intense. Was it the greater age disparity, the bigger inversion of authority, the fact that there was an element of coercion involved? All of the above? Brooke would tell me that I think about these things too much. She would counsel me to go with flow, enjoy the game, embrace the sheer eroticism of it all. I tried valiantly to do just that. Can one be valiant in accepting servitude and abuse?, I wondered (see how I over analyze everything?!)
Lancelot would no doubt have answered my question in the affirmative. Yet, his servitude was solely to Guinevere, and the abuse and humiliations he suffered were solely to satisfy her commands, her whims. Whereas Brooke was not even aware of my servitude to my students. Still, I could tell myself – with some degree of honesty – that the indignities I was suffering at their hands were because of my devotion to Brooke. Because I was in their power as a direct consequence of my obedience to Luke, and I was obedient to Luke for Brooke and Brooke alone. The frail heartbeat of chivalry was still detectable (to me, at least). Perhaps the time had come to tell Brooke of my predicament with Paul and Anna? But there was something so shameful about it. Would it diminish me in Brooke’s eyes in some different, profound and irrevocable way? Or would she hug me, perhaps even thank me for my sacrifice, and tell me everything will be okay?
These were the myriad thoughts that ran through my head as I also contemplated my response to Kelly’s fraught question. “No, princess, I mean, it’s all of your feet…,” I answered,lamely.
She snickered. “Well, you are the Liitle Foot Page, so I guess it makes sense that you’re turned on by feet.”
“Pretty much all submissive guys are turned on by feet. Issac is insane for my feet,” said Anna. You will recall that Issac was the young male slave in Paul’s and Anna’s stable.
“Not just submissive men. Cindy loves worshiping your feet too, babe,” Paul said to Anna. If you recall, Cindy (who, like Issac, I had not yet met at that point) was another member of Paul’s and Anna’s stable of slaves, a fellow student at the college whose intense crush on Paul was not reciprocated. Instead, he put her squarely into “ the friendzone,” eventually introducing her to Anna. Cindy was now a submissive servant to both of them, grateful to be part of Paul’s life under any circumstances.
Anna said to Kelly, “I don’t know about you, but I love having my feet pampered and having my toes sucked, and love the sight of submissive creatures groveling at my feet. At the same time, I couldn’t imagine in a million fucking years being the one doing the sucking or groveling. I have no desire to be that close to anyone’s feet.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I wouldn’t even want to kiss Archer if he sucked my toes. Ew, gross,” said Kelly, with a little shudder.
Archer interjected, “Yo’ve got nothing to worry about there, darling. You have pretty feet, but I have zero desire to kiss or lick them.”
“Or course you don’t, you’re not a perv, like the good professor here. Professor pervert, kiss the bottom of the foot you’re massaging. You don’t mind having your feet kissed, do you sweetheart?” Kelly asked Archer.
“No, I have no problem being worshipped. And I’m secure enough in my masculinity that I don’t care if it’s a submissive cuck like this loser doing the worshiping.”
“That’s what I love about you, sweetheart. You’re masculine, dominant AND open minded. That’s like icing on a yummy cake.,” Kelly said, as she started to kiss Archer passionately. “Professor, keep kissing the bottoms of my man’s feet while we make out.”
I kissed the balls of Archer’s feet, trying to avoid the callouses. I wondered: aren’t swimmers more prone to plantar warts, walking around all those bacteria-riddled pools and locker rooms in their bare feet? I knew plantar warts are highly contagious. Could I get warts on my lips or in my mouth? I made a mental note to research this on-line later. From extensive experience with Brooke and Luke, I was well aware of the aphrodisiac effect my submission could have on a couple dominating me. The exact reasons for this still remain something of a mystery to me. Just like you have to be a masochist to understand certain things, I guess you have to be a dominant or a sadist to understand others.
As if reading my thoughts, Anna said, “I think submissives’ brains must be wired differently. They have to be for them to enjoy feet so much. I mean, sometimes after we work out at the gym, Paul and I will rest our feet right on Cindy’s face. Can you imagine? Our sweaty, wet socks covering her nose and mouth. You’d think she’d have some self-respect and tell us to go to hell. Or, at a minimum, that she’d complain about the smell. Not that my feet smell, of course, but Paul’s smell something awful after he’s been working out,” she smiled at him.
“Yeah, right, babe,” Paul replied. He then explained to Kelly and Archer, “Don’t believe anything she says about her feet not smelling. The smell of her foot sweat is overpowering.”
“Bullshit,” Anna said, smiling and hitting him on the shoulder. “But, like I was saying, far from protesting, Cindy actually inhales the smell of our sweat socks and our sweaty feet. She almost looks as if she’s in ecstasy, like she’s smelling perfume or fresh flowers or something. And she even looks happy when she’s licking the toe jam and lint from between my toes. It’s disgusting. But it’s pretty funny watching her. And I like the sensation of her tongue on my toes.”
“It’s what I’ve been telling you for awhile now, babe. Submissives are intellectually inferior. They’re sexual deviants. By humiliating and abusing them, we’re giving them what they want, what they need, in fact. So there’s no reason for us to feel bad when we mistreat them. We’re actually doing them a favor,” said Paul.
Paul was a Psychology major and fancied himself some sort of authority on this subject apparently, although it was clear to me that he was greatly oversimplifying what were, in reality, very complicated human relationship dynamics. He also had a facile understanding of human intelligence. Under different circumstances, I might have tried to engage him in a debate. But to have done so at that moment would have been the height of folly, so I kept my mouth shut and my fingers busy.
After spending 15 minutes on Archer’s feet, I massaged the feet of my three students for the same amount of time (timed by Paul). Paul and Anna kissed each other while I worked on Anna’s feet, much as Archer and Kelly had done. Each insisted I respectfully kiss the bottoms of their feet after finishing the massage. Paul was last. While I massaged his feet, Anna prodded my balls with her high heel shoe, laughing as my cock twitched through my tights. Having been denied release for so long, my biggest fear was that all of the stimuli – the scantily-clad, young bodies, the humiliating dissection of my fetishes, the pressure of Anna’s foot (which she occasionally brushed against my the underside of my shaft) – would cause me to ejaculate. The thought of that was beyond mortifying, so I did everything I could possibly do to distract myself mentally.
Their ongoing conversation about feet did not make my task an easy one.
“Rollins, you’re actually pretty good at this. In a sensible world, you would be spending your time in your classes massaging all of your students’ feet rather than lecturing to them. It’s a better use of your talents.” There did seem to be a general consensus that I have a knack (was Paul’s term, “talent,” too strong a word) for giving foot massages. I guess there’s at least one thing I can do well with my hands after all, I thought to myself.
“Now, Paul. Don’t be cruel. I’ve had some pretty good courses with Professor Foot Page. I don’t see any reason why he couldn’t lecture while he massages everyone’s feet.” Kelly giggled.
Anna snickered. “Can you picture it? I can. He would be dressed just as he is now, crawling from student to student.”
“Yes, and then he could massage the feet of all of the other faculty members of the English department,” said Kelly, giggling.
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t already massaging Neil Lawson’s feet. Lawson already has him fetching his coffee. Or he did today, at least. There’s definitely something going on there,” said Paul.
I couldn’t decide whether to be relieved Paul didn’t know any specifics or to be distressed that he was so suspicious – and that his instincts were correct. I remained silent.
Paul continued, “He obviously has a big foot fetish, like most submissives. Rollins, you ought to consider having a whole chapter dedicated to foot worship in that book you’re working on. You’ll be a real authority on the subject before we’re finished with you.”
Putting aside the implicit threat in his last remark, Paul actually might be on to something, I thought. I had been struggling with the organization of my book, which had really evolved quite a bit over the last six months. While I still aimed to show how medieval courtly poetry was what started the rich history of male masochism in western literature, I was increasingly focusing on contemporary BDSM cuckold fiction and what had clearly been an explosion in interest in that lifestyle in recent years, globally.
Miraculously, I was able to get through the massages and constant teasing without ejaculating. About halfway into my 5-hour stay at the condo, I served the four of them dinner, trying to remember to curtsy at all the required moments. They had changed back into the clothes they were wearing before their swim, Anna and Kelly in short skirts, stockings and heels and Paul and Archer in jeans and polo shirts. Anna kept her little notepad next to her plate on the table, and occasionally wrote in it, causing me further anxiety. When not going back and forth between the kitchen and dining room, I was expected to stand by the table at attention – to refill glasses of the wine I had purchased, fold the napkins of anyone who got up from the table, or do anything else ordered of me. My cock tented out my tights the entire time, of course. My self consciousness about this at least had the advantage of taking my mind off my hunger somewhat, as I enviously watched the four of them eat the meal I had prepared (I sampled the stroganoff as I was cooking it, and thought it came out quite well).
Anna invited everyone to critique the meal afterwards, and it was generally agreed upon that the beef and mushroom sauce was delicious, but that the pasta was overcooked. The salad and dressing was a success, but the Italian green beans less so. I was grateful that Anna had not required me to also prepare dessert.
“Well, Professor maid, it seems that both punishments and a reward are in order for your uneven meal and service. You also earned demerits for failure to curtsy on at least four occasions – I’m sure that I missed others – and continued deficiencies in your technique. Also for how you walked in heels earlier. The mushy pasta and beans were also unacceptable. On the other hand, the stroganoff itself was excellent, as was the salad and dressing. The boys will administer your punishment, and Kelly and I will grant you your reward.”
I replied, with a curtsy, “Yes, princess. Thank you, princess.” The truth of the matter is I didn’t know which of the two caused me greater dread: the punishment or the reward.
“Which should we give him first?”, asked Kelly.
Paul said, “Definitely the punishment first. We need to leave enough time for the redness of his ass to fade in case Luke or his wife want to punish him as well when he gets home.”
“And a submissive freak like him will probably enjoy his reward more with a sore ass. I’ve calculated that he’s owed 120 spanks. 100 from today, and the 20 we didn’t give him on Tuesday that he was due. Which one oy you strapping young men will do the honors?”, said Anna.
“This is going to be so much fun to watch,” said Kelly gleefully.
“It’s going to be hot,” said Anna. “I get all tingly watching Paul punish the slaves. Especially the beta males and sissies.”
“I know you do, girlfriend. Me too,” said Kelly. “I think it’s only fair that each of the boys give him sixty spanks, so you and I get to enjoy this equally,” said Kelly.
“Sounds good. Okay with you guys?,” said Anna.
“Fine. After you,” Paul said to Archer.
“Happy to dish out some discipline to the old cuck. Should we take him up to the dungeon and put him over the bench?”, asked Archer.
“No need to. We have to use our hands for now because we can’t leave any asting marks on his ass. So just take him over your knee,” Paul replied.
“Oh, how I wish we could cane or strap him! I think the cane is a lot more persuasive than just your hands. And the welts can be lovely,” said Anna.
“Someday, babe. You just have to be patient,” said Paul. “Not one of your strong suits, I realize.”
“Don’t worry, ladies. I will make sure his spanking is plenty persuasive. Get over my knees, old man,” commanded Archer.
“Yes, sir.” I draped myself over his knees, incredibly ashamed as I felt my hard cock press through my tights against the jeans covering his firm thighs.
“Do you feel his little stiffie on your leg, honey?,” Kelly asked, tittering.
“I do, but not for long. I’m going to beat it out of him. By the time I’m finished with him, he’ll be as limp as one of the overcooked noodles he served us,” said Archer. I felt his sizable hand resting on the center of my tights-clad bottom. Without warning, he lifted his hand and brought it down sharply on my right cheek.
I typically tried to be stoic in such moments, but the ferocity of his strike (and the suddenness of it) caused me to cry out, “Ouch!” I heard the amusement of our audience.
“That’s right, honey. Give it to him good! Pull down his tights and give it to him on the bare,” said Kelly.
Archer did as Kelly requested. What followed were repeated, loud smacking sounds of flesh striking flesh – as Archer carefully alternated cheeks – accompanied by a slow but steady buildup of pain. The tights had offered negligible protection. The sound was the big difference, but it seemed to provide a more satisfying sensory experience for my three students, who were witnessing the remarkable spectacle of their professor being punished like a naughty child. By the 30th spank or so, the pain was intense. And Archer was correct, my cock had deflated under his relentless assault on my bottom. Not as severe as a cane or strapping certainly, but a hand spanking that rivaled Luke’s in intensity.
I heard Kelly say, “Now that’s what I’m talking about. Look at that shade of red, will you?”
“Not as lovely as welts, but not bad,” added Anna.
By the 50th spank, my attempt at stoicism was a distant memory.
“Please, sir. Please don’t hit me so hard.” He ignored me, delivering the final ten with extra zeal, if anything. When he was finished, it was difficult for my mind to process the fact that my chastisement was only halfway complete.
After Archer pushed me unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor, my tights still lowered to just below my poor, tenderized bottom, Kelly ordered me to stand up. I started to pull up my tights as I stood, but she said with surprising sternness, “Did I say you could pull up your tights, professor? Leave them down so we can all get a proper look at your little cock. Turn around and stand before us. Put your hands on top of your head.”
When I complied with her order, my cock was still quite limp, somewhat shriveled even. But almost as soon as I stood up, I felt it began to stir under their scrutiny.
“Look at the tiny, hairless thing.,” said Anna, smiling contemptuously.
“Pathetic,” said Archer, with a sneer.
“Oh, look. It’s starting to get bigger. That was quick! It must like all of the attention,” laughed Kelly.
With each humiliating comment, it grew harder. My ass was burning, but no longer under a constant barrage (for the moment, at least), the sensation only fueled my involuntary, indeed most unwanted, arousal.
“It looks like it’s up to me beat his hard-on back out of him,” said Paul, patting his knee. “Come over here, Rollins, so I can finish your correction. Leave your tights down. You have 60 more coming.”
As this was unthinkable to me, I felt compelled to try to negotiate – or, perhaps it would be more accurate to say, grovel. When I walked over to where Paul was sitting, rather than lie over his knees, I dropped to my own, at his feet.
“My lord, Sir Archer’s punishment was quite severe. I’m not sure that I can take another 60 right now. I beg you to show some mercy to your lowly page by deferring some of my punishment until next Tuesday.” I then grasped his right foot with my hands and began kissing the tops of his brown, leather shoe. “Please, my lord.”
That Paul was triumphant, bringing me to my knees and abasing myself at his feet – even without being expressly commanded to do so – was clearly evident in his supremely smug, self-satisfied expression. It was painful to behold, but not as painful as another 60 spanks on my already wounded bottom would be. Groveling was a skill that I been refining over the last several months with Luke, so I continued my efforts.
“Please, my lord. Surely you and Princess Anna have some more dry cleaning that needs to be done or some other errands that need to be run. Your humble page is at your disposal.”
“This is a trip,” said Kelly.
“It IS a sign of strength for a ruler to occasionally grant mercy. What do you think, babe?”, said Anna.
“I’m considering it,” said Paul. “Sharing information might help your cause, page. Tell me, what is the story with you bringing Neil Lawson a cup of coffee today? That coffee shop is on the other side of campus. Is that a service that you regularly provide for him? Before you answer, you should know that if I sense you’re not being completely truthful, I’ll add 20 spanks to your punishment now, rather than reduce or defer any of it. If I find out you’re lying after the fact, the consequences for you will be dire.”
To say that I felt somewhat trapped at that moment would be an understatement. I certainly didn’t want to reveal any information to Paul about the nature of my relationship with my colleague, and yet I felt that not doing so was perilous. The slippery slope, again.
So, I continued my descent. “I bring Neil a cup of coffee four days a week, my lord.”
“Why? Are you his lackey or something? You’re senior to him on the faculty, right? Shouldn’t he be the one bringing you coffee, if anything?”
“It’s true that Neil doesn’t have tenure yet but he’s up for tenure in the spring. But it’s not like junior faculty members run errands or anything like that for senior faculty members. It’s just that Neil knows that I’m on a diet and feels that the exercise will do me good. He takes a personal interest in my health and physical fitness, as my friend.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me. I’ve seen Neil lifting weights with Luke at the gym a couple of times. It looks like they’re getting to be pretty chummy.”
“Yes, my lord, they like to work out together. They bond over sports.”
“Interesting. Is Neil aware of your weekly weigh-ins and punishments for failing to lose weight?”, Paul continued his interrogation.
“Yes, my lord,” I answered, deeply ashamed.
“Well, you’ve definitely lost quite a bit of weight, professor. Keep up the good work!”, said Kelly, with seeming sincerity. What a surreal moment this was, I thought to myself.
“Thank you, Princess Kelly.”
“Does Luke allow Neil to witness your weigh-ins and punishments,” Paul asked.
“Yes, my lord. Twice.”
“Keep kissing my shoes when you’re not speaking. Does Luke allow Neil to participate in your punishments?”
“Yes, my lord. Once.” I started kissing the bottom of his right shoe.
Being humiliated and punished by Luke was shameful. Neil’s participation in my punishment and humiliation made it infinitely more so. Being humiliated and punished by my students was incredibly shameful. Them knowing that Neil, another professor in my department, not only was aware of, but even took an active part in my punishment and humiliation was indescribably shameful. It was more than a slippery slope. It was quicksand. And I was sinking deeper by the second.
Paul was not yet done with his interrogation, however. “What other services do you provide for Professor Lawson, besides bringing him coffee?”
I hesitated. But mindful of Paul’s warning (he did seem to have some mysterious ability to intuit and/or discover things about me), I came clean, thereby deepening the pit in which I was sinking: “On Wednesdays, when he has several back-to-back classes, I have started to massage his feet in his office.”
“I knew it! Last week when I walked into his office and you were there, you were acting very nervous. I saw his shoes on the floor next to his desk. There’s not really many reasons to take off your shoes and socks on a freezing day. I had a sneaky suspicion that that’s what was going on. You’re an even bigger beta than I could’ve conceived of, Rollins. Is there anyone you’re not subservient to?”
“Yes, my lord….I mean, prior to 10 months ago…I wasn’t submissive to anyone….except in…my…my, imagination. Everything’s different now…”
“You’re leading a male masochist’s dream! Lick the bottom of my shoe. Do you realize how extraordinarily fortunate you are, old man?”
“Yes, my lord,” I said before reapplying my tongue to the sole of Paul’s shoe.
“This discussion has been very useful. You’ve given me all kinds of ideas about how to further enhance your submissive experience to make it truly exceptional. To make it world class. All the building blocks are already in place. We just need to find a way to integrate them,” Paul said.
“Look how hard his baby cock is! He loves the idea!”, said Anna.
“Now lie down across my lap. The new information I learned just now has caused me to feel magnanimous, so I will grant you mercy by deferring 20 of your spanks until Tuesday and pardoning 10 altogether,” Paul said.
At that exact moment, having my remaining punishment cut in half (at least for that day), I was more grateful about the present reprieve than concerned about any possible future danger that might result from Paul’s increased knowledge. It was only later, during many restless, sleep-deprived nights, that I began to really worry about the possible implications of Paul knowing that I was also submissive to my fellow professor.
“You are very kind, my lord,” I said as his hand came crashing down on the center of my ass. The irony of the moment produced hearty laughter from both Anna and Kelly.
My tights were still lowered, so my erect, bare cock pressed against the denim – a coarser variety than Archer’s – of Paul’s jeans. How much shame could one person endure in a single evening? But it was only 8:30 PM; I still had over an hour left with my young tormentors.
Whereas Archer’s technique was to alternate cheeks, Paul preferred picking one spot and sticking to it for repeated spanks. He focused on the center of my bottom, initially 10 strikes where the crack of my ass began and then moving methodically lower until the final 20 were on the area closest to my scrotum. Unfortunately, Paul hit harder today than on my last visit, no doubt making sure he at least matched the force of Archer in front of the two young women, who were watching with rapt attention. As he delivered the final twenty or so spanks, the pain was searing and I began kicking my legs more and more and squirming around on his lap in a futile attempt to alleviate it, or to escape. On the bright side, my erection quickly subsided under the intensity of his assault.
“Stay still, or I will add the 30 back,” he warned, sternly, grabbing my right arm and holding it tightly behind my back with his free hand.
When he was finally done, he roughly pulled up my tights, producing a wedgie effect, and almost playfully swatted my bottom twice, saying, “You may get up now. Go stand in the corner. Hands behind your head.”
I did as commanded, but Kelly objected, “Why did you pull his tights back up? I want to see what shade of red his ass is now.”
“Lower your tights, page boy,” ordered Anna.
“Yes, princess,” I said, following her command. My eyes were wet with tears, but I was hoping they wouldn’t notice. I wanted to at least deprive them of the satisfaction that they caused me to cry.
“Do I hear sniffling, professor? Did getting spanked by his big, mean student make the poor, wimpy professor cry?”
“No, Princess Kelly.”
“I’m not sure I believe you,” Kelly replied.
“Look at his ass. The color reminds me of raw hamburger meat. Are you sure it will heel quickly enough, babe?”, asked Anna.
“Archer and I hit him hard, but not hard enough for any permanent bruises. The color will fade quickly,” said Paul. “Sort of like a sunset. An intense color that fades quickly.”
“Too bad. It’s such a lovely color, “ said Kelly.
After 10 minutes, during which they passed around a joint and continued to tease me, Anna said, “You’re right, the color is starting to fade already. Turn around, you naughty page boy, and face us. Keep your hands on your head.”
“Well, the color of ass may be like setting like the sun, but his little cock is compensating for it,” said Kelly, with a giggle.
“Pathetic,” commented the eloquent Archer.
I looked down to see my cock standing at attention through my tights, wishing I could simply disappear. I stood there shamefully for another twenty minutes as they finished a second joint.
After they finished, Anna said, “We’re running out of time before the good professor turns into a pumpkin. It’s time for your reward, professor. Obeisance!”
Recalling last week, I quickly dropped to the floor down on my belly and clasped my hands behind my back.
“Very good. You remembered,” Anna said. “Now slither on your belly to our feet, as we taught you.”
I began my humiliating belly crawl across the floor – only a few feet, but it felt like many more – my hard cock grinding into the hardwood, once again fearful that the combination of the potent humiliation and the stimulus to my cock would result in me ejaculating en route. Fortunately, it did not. Once I reached them, I craned my neck up to look at the four pairs of shoes hovering above me, and planted a kiss on the top of each, as I had been instructed during my last visit.
Anna then said, “Kelly, switch places with Paul, please.”
Once she did, Anna ordered me to lie on my back next to where she and Kelly were seated on the sofa. Rolling over, I winced with pain as my bottom touched the floor. From experience, I knew that sitting would be uncomfortable for the next day or two.
She then said to Kelly, “Do you want to provide the olfactory stimulation or the tactile stimulation?”
As if this was a routine occurrence in their lives, Kelly said, “Oh, definitely the tactile stimulation. It will be fun to toy with his little dicklet. Besides, based on what Paul said about your foot sweat, you’re the one who can provide the best olfactory stimulation.” Kelly chuckled.
“Very funny,” said Anna, smiling. “Very well.”
Anna removed her heels and placed her moist stocking-clad feet directly over my nose and mouth. Kelly kept her heels on and began pressing the toe of her right heel firmly into my balls, through my tights. She then began lightly kicking my balls. It was mildly painful, but not so painful that it caused my hard cock to deflate; it was painful yet still highly arousing, a well calibrated approach that suggested to me that Kelly had some experience tormenting others along similar lines.
“Take deep breaths, professor,” Anna ordered.
Her feet indeed had a strong, distinct odor, at once malodorous and fragrant, sour yet sweet. As I inhaled, Kelly began grinding her heel directly into the underside of my cock, pressing it into my body. Only about three minutes into this sensuous torture, my cock erupted, my semen seeping copiously through my white tights. I groaned involuntarily as I orgasmed, a groan of simultaneous ecstasy and despair. Because I hadn’t come in so long, I produced what was for me at least, a prodigious amount. What appalling, exquisite humiliation! I tried to imagine what it would be like facing my three students in class next week, or for that matter, any time again for the rest of my life. It was certainly a moment that would never be forgotten by anyone in that room.
“It looks like our professor enjoyed his reward,” Kelly said, snickering. “And I could tell when he was about to shoot his wad, so I moved my foot away just in the nick of time.” She picked up her heel and pointed at it, “See no icky professor goo. It’s clean.”
Anna said to me, “You see, being enslaved to us is not all about punishment. There are rewards as well, occasionally.”
“Yes, thank you Princess Anna, Princess Kelly.”
Well, at least I wouldn’t have to lick up my ejaculate this time. Paul threw me a towel. I was permitted to clean myself up and was then ordered to put the towel into the washing machine (by itself, as Anna didn’t want the towel I soiled to be near any of their clothes or linen). I then cleared up the kitchen. Finally, I was allowed to change back into my street clothes. Before I left the apartment, I was required one last time to bow down before each of them, kiss their feet and thank them for allowing me to be of service. I then went down the elevator, relieved to see a different doorman (one who I had never encountered before), who more or less ignored me as I exited the building.
I pulled up to my house at 10:20 P.M., surprised to see the light on in the kitchen. When Brooke and Luke went out to dinner on Thursdays, Luke usually drove, so it was not unusual to see Brooke’s car in the driveway. Maybe they had just forgotten to turn off the lights?
But as I entered the kitchen, I was alarmed to see Brooke sitting alone at the table. Expecting to be asked where I had been, I started trying to think of plausible explanations.
However, Brooke simply looked up at me. She had a glum expression on her face and her eyes were bloodshot, as if she had been crying. Something was definitely up.
“Hi, honey,” I said, nervously.
“Hi.”
“Where’s Luke?”
“He’s gone.”
“Will he back later, or is he staying at his house tonight?”
“He’ll be staying at his house every night from now on.”
“What are you talking about? What happened?”
“Go get a bottle of scotch and two glasses. I need a drink.”

My rheumatologist(only one in my area)has been very difficult to understand. I was referred to her with ANA positive results somewhat high. Also tested positive with HLA b27. Also at one point had very little cortisol which has returned to normal. All other labs are mostly normal. My symptoms are all over severe pain, weight gain, Raynauds, mild skin issues, brain fog, weakness especially in my hands, and hairloss. Im currently on hydroxychloriquine and methotrexate. This all started with covid. My rheumatologist says 100% fibromyalgia every time but believes I have more or would not continue to see me. After responding to prednisone has talked about lupus and MCTD and has been very unclear about it. I asked her one day to tell what is my exact diagnosis and she looked at me and said mixed connective tissue disease and said something about lupus being a broad area. However, every visit I have had since then says fibromyalgia as the reason for my visit. So I emailed the nurse (who told me other patients have also been unclear with this dr)and asked for my diagnosis in writing. They responded with fibromyalgia. I replied with asking why she told me mctd. The nurse forwarded me an email from the Dr that says:

Generalized body pain and tenderness, mental fogginess, mood disturbance consistent with diagnosis of fibromyalgia versus post-COVID syndrome

Seronegative inflammatory arthritis responsive to prednisone o early MCTD. What does this mean? I'm so confused.

To preface, I have been a cardiothoracic ICU nurse for the last 5 years, but having trouble visualizing my dad’s prognosis.
His history: lots of stress, unhealthy eating, lack of exercise in his late 40s to early 50s when I was a kid led to his MI he had in 2003-2004ish. He had a stent placed, I’m assuming was his LAD (he is unsure which one). He had the typical symptom- chest pain and went to the hospital immediately.
Fast forward to present day, he got a diagnosis of afib back in March, I assume it was paroxysmal, because he had a pet CT stress test done and the results showed he was in NSR at that time. The results also showed his EF was 35%, with inferior wall hypokinesis.
He began feeling symptomatic in March, with random episodes of losing vision temporarily, and almost falling each time, the episodes are quick and he doesn’t lose consciousness. He went to either his primary or cardiologist and had an EKG done which showed afib. They started him on Eliquis and scheduled a cardioversion. They also did US of his carotids which were negative, and the stress test mentioned earlier.
He had his cardioversion this past week and while he recovered well, it did not work. They told him he would need to follow up with an EP doc. I assume they will be discussing an ablation next (thoughts?).
The biggest reason I am concerned is that he lives over 1,000 miles from my sister and I, his only family he has contact with. He moved out to the middle of the desert alone 8 years ago, about an hour from the closest hospital, and 1.5 hours from the closest city with capabilities to do cardioversions, ablations, etc.
He is 74 years old, currently lives a very healthy lifestyle, exercising (cardio and strength) every other day, eats very healthy, maintains healthy weight, doesn’t smoke or drink. He has been building his dream house with his own hands (and with the help of some random contractors here and there).
His only health history is kidney stones 10 years ago that caused some scarring in his ureters, causing hydronephrosis. His BP is great- 120s/80s. No history of diabetes. He takes atorvastatin, tramadol (for chronic back pain, been on the same dose for years) and eliquis.
I have begun conversations about him moving back closer to my sister and I, but he is adamant about continuing his house building and that he will live the rest of his life in the desert. It is not possible for my sister or I to pick up our families and move across the country from our hometown to watch over him.
I guess I’m looking for some peace of mind, or if I need to have more serious conversations with him about this. He had no idea about his EF and his cardiologist just told him he had some heart damage from his heart attack.
How much longer can he live the meaningful life that he is living with an EF that low and afib? I can’t fly out here every time he has a procedure. I’m pregnant with my first child and already know I won’t be able to come out here as often as I have been. Thanks in advance for your advice and expertise.

Just diagnosed with methane and GI ordered the Xifaxan + neomycin combo. While I'm waiting on those to be filled, I've been thinking. Is it wise to jump into treatment without knowing the root cause? Without knowing food sensitivities? Without a care team who knows my history? Or should I just go forward with this treatment that's finally here after at least 4 years of dismissal and suffering without a diagnosis?
I'm at such a point of low trust in healthcare, I'm feeling on edge about next steps.
Some additional context about my care team:

• IMO diagnosis came after a breath test following two 20-minute appointments with a GI nurse practitioner who had SIBO herself with a root cause of food poisoning. She ordered and I did an endoscopy, colonoscopy and ultrasound which ruled out other stuff. In my initial appointment, I told her I may have had food poisoning. But the more I read about SIBO, I'm not sure that was my particular cause (said it bc I suspected SIBO and wanted to be taken seriously). She sent me the prescription instructions via patient portal and we don't have a follow-up appointment until late August. Seems rather cold, at best, and risky, at worst.
• A dietitian who happens to have functional medicine training did a GI effects stool test and says my results of high inflammation and dysbiosis suggest I have leaky gut and/or food sensitivities. She wants to do a low-FODMAP based elimination and re-introduction with me over about 6 weeks. I've done just one week of low-FODMAP to reduce symptoms. She says we'll pause for GI's plan to have me eat more normally while on antibiotics.
• I started paying out of pocket for a new integrative primary care doctor who doesn't take insurance before I knew I had SIBO. Now come to find out, he doesn't seem to have much experience with it. Didn't expect me to test positive and has not done a thorough, proactive evaluation of my health history. I wanted someone to give me true primary care and take the lead on managing my case and give me a roadmap for a treatment plan.

Is it too much to expect that just any GI or primary care doctor will effectively manage a SIBO case? My sense from this subreddit is yes, but asking to get clarity.
I have a phone consult with a doctor a few hours away from me who specializes in SIBO. Wondering if I should become his patient and let him guide me through a more clear, methodical roadmap and streamline my care through his team?
Not expecting anyone to diagnose my root cause here lol, but wanting to share the overview of my history in case it makes a difference for the questions above. Also, I'm curious about others' similiar symptoms/experiences and hope maybe it can help someone to read mine.
Health history and symptoms:

• I'm a 36-year-old woman. 5'10" and I only weigh 113 pounds right now (lost about ten pounds in this current flare but was previously 120ish). I've struggled to gain weight my entire life.
• Seemingly healthy childhood but possible unaddressed dairy issues
  • I wasn't breastfed, my mom said the dairy formula didn't work either and I had to have a soy formula. In childhood I was never tested for lactose intolerance, the story was just that I "didn't like milk but cheese and ice cream were fine". I continued to eat the latter two and always prided myself on being open to eating anything.
  • I was diagnosed with depression at age 8 and did antidepressants on/off through my early 20s. Otherwise always was told I'm very healthy (despite never really feeling that healthy or energetic).
• I had a doctor suggest IBS while I was studying abroad in London at age 20 (which sadly I didn't take seriously), and then migraines with aura started at age 21, then rosacea at age 22. Frequent UTIs and antibiotics throughout my 20s. Allergic to two antibiotics now. Hemorrhoids started in mid-20s. At 32 (when the pandemic started in 2020), I had my first "flare", two simultaneous problems at the time diagnosed as:
  • another "UTI" after sex despite negative test results, got 3 rounds of antibiotics for possible kidney infection
  • symptoms of "GERD": loss of appetite, globus, burping, food sitting in belly for hours, gas, bloating, abdominal pain, back pain
• Since that first flare brought on by stress of the pandemic and possible unwanted pregnancy, I've experienced:
  • 2 other major flares (lasting 4ish months each)
    • 2023: conflict with live-in boyfriend leading to break up - sensation of slowing motility/early satiation followed by constipation followed by intense pelvic pressure and bloating plus frequent urination. resolved after months and getting myself into pelvic floor PT.
    • 2024: intense work stress paired with delayed period/fear of pregnancy with new boyfriend of 2 months followed by constipation, dry scaly hands, followed sensation of slowing motility/early satiation with intense stomach gurgling/churning, food sitting in belly for hours, burping and varied acid reflux symptoms including globus, excess saliva, throat bubbles with any food/water or change of position, back pain, dandruff (seborrheic dermatitis), red eyes
  • on/off symptoms / notable findings in last 4 years:
    • tingling/random brusing in fingers, random itchy rashes kinda like hives, random vibrating feeling in lower abdomen, nerve pain/twitching in inner groin, eye, and leg
    • more headaches during menstration
    • loved cilantro historically, but on/off tastes like soap (especially during major flare)
    • gum inflammation I can't seem to resolve with improved brushing/flossing, etc.
    • inflamed cervix on pap smear
    • cloudy urine
    • A1C1 near prediabetes level
    • vitamin deficiencies (D and B12) - had to request my own tests
    • on my home scale, my BMR was always 3-4 years below my current age but now it's 2 years above my current age
• All 3 major flares were times I was eating LOTS of fibefodmaps thinking I was helping my health
• Other notable things:
  • I have a PT who believes I might have hEDS even though I don't meet the diagnostic criteria
  • I had a pap smear in 2019 that showed HPV positive for high-risk strain; 2024 pap smear showed clear
  • May have developed orthorexia after the first flare and trying to heal myself with food. Might have also struggled with eating enough calories on/off in life due to stress and feeling full early in meals throughout my life.

Hello,
Basically what the title says. I am not sure if this (in the photos) is an outbreak or not.
Backstory: Back in January i developed acute neuronitis. Researching how to deal with it online, i stumbled upon many people on reddit saying sometimes the cause could be HSV. I then got tested for both IgG and IgM. My IgGs were as follows: HSV1: 1.4 (negative is up until 0.6) HSV2: 32.9 (negative up until 0.5)
My IgMs were: HSV1: 2.79, positive is above 11 HSV2: 3.59, positive above 11
So i was diagnosed with HSV, both strains, but no active infection at that time.
Immediately after, i developed some bumps on the middle finger from the left hand. I did have some tingling/burning before.
Now, i had the same symptoms for prodromes. A bit of tingling, burning, and the bone seemed to hurt(which i accounted it to nerve pain).
But looking at pictures of OBs, mine never seemed to be as large, as many, or develop into groups of blisters. They look and feel as though i have a splinter that inflamed the tissue around it and are developing an infection.
What’s more confusing is the OB site. Never had genital OBs, or oral. (Knock on wood, dont want to jinx it lol). I know this could be whithlow, but how frequent is it?
I have been taking 1000MG Lysine a day ever since i got diagnosed as well.
My questions to you are:

1. Do you think i have an active OB?
2. How long do you think i’ve had both, based on the IgG?
3. I took valtrex 2000 mg/day, but the blisters/symptoms did not subside, on the contrary. See below pics

I have read every article, journal paper, every reddit post to educate myself and find the answers. But these bumps don’t quite look like anything i’ve seen online, althought the prodrome is there beforehand.
Any help with my questions is appreciated.
Link to initial pics day 1-2: https://imgur.com/a/ob-not-ruetDRg
Link to days 3-5. Although i took valtrexz, 2000 mg/ day, they did not subside, on the contrary on day 4 i got a new blister on the tip of my finger and my hand was hurting like it was the nerves hurting, and i got a redness along the path of the pain that stopped under my pits. Which is why i’m confused if it’s either HSV or Dyshidrosis. On day 5 the redness is gone, and some blisters dried out and are now red in appearance. https://imgur.com/a/8NJUhcQ

I was diagnosed with FM and CFS over a year ago. Been here reading all your experiences and I share some of the too. I was curious if others get joint symptoms like mine. Sometimes it’s like a needle poke in the joint or muscles followed by pulsations. Other times odd random sharp pains. If you got this what do you do against them ? I was tested for other issues like arthritis, inflammation, etc and the tests were negative. Including for cancer

Hello. Migraines run in my family and both my sister and father have been on medication for it for years.
Yesterday, I had the worst migraine I've had, and I have a gut feeling they will get more and more regular. That said, I'm unsure how to know what is a symptom of an incoming migraine, what is a cause of one, and what is nothing/a coincidence.
33f. I have an IUD and don't get periods often, so I don't know if my cycle is related.
Over the last week, I've noticed that I have misplaced things more than usual and three times, I felt a very sharp, alarming pain behind my left ear. I had never felt this type of pain before. My jaw has also been very tight.
Two days ago, I woke up with a stiff neck. I then traveled somewhere by car and got an unusually bad case of motion sickness and nearly vommed on the side of the road. I was out all day and drank very very little water (oops), and had one beer at night.
Yesterday, I woke up after a night of truly awful sleep and and my neck was incredibly stiff and painful. I messaged it a bit and as soon as I got up, I was helllllllla nauseous. Not knowing it was an incoming migraine, I ate yogurt with a fake sweetener in it. Then I laid in bed for the next 5 hours barely functional. I read over the symptoms and causes of a migraine and I ticked soooo many boxes.
How the heck do I figure out what contributed/caused the migraine, what was a symptom, and what was coincidence? Do I just keep a log? I have a stiff neck probably twice a month. Is there a chance that these are almost-migraines that weren't triggered to become full migraines?
Side note, this shit fucking sucks. Sorry y'all deal with this regularly. 😩

Hey I've been using chat gpt for tips and tricks as google is awful, anyway I was wondering if any one has ever experienced anything like this. I repeat words and similar motions when having a panic attack I'm not sure if it's OCD as it only happens when I have an attack
GPT Response to "involuntary repetition of words during panic attack"
In the context of panic attacks or anxiety, "perseveration" refers to the repetitive, persistent, and involuntary fixation on thoughts, words, or behaviors. It's a common cognitive symptom experienced during heightened states of anxiety or panic. Perseveration can manifest in various ways, including repetitive thoughts, speech, actions, or even physical sensations.

Characteristics of Perseveration in Panic Attacks:

1. Repetitive Thoughts: Constantly thinking about the same worry, fear, or concern, even when it's irrational or unproductive.
2. Repetitive Speech: Continuously repeating words, phrases, or questions, often without awareness or control.
3. Repetitive Behaviors: Engaging in repetitive actions or rituals as a way to cope with anxiety or to try to gain a sense of control.
4. Physical Sensations: Fixating on physical sensations associated with anxiety, such as heart palpitations, shortness of breath, or dizziness, and becoming hyperaware of them.

How Perseveration Manifests in Panic Attacks:

• Word Repetition: Repeating the same word or phrase over and over, either internally or aloud.
• Thought Loops: Getting stuck in repetitive thought patterns that cycle endlessly without resolution.
• Behavioral Rituals: Performing repetitive behaviors, such as checking locks or washing hands, as a way to alleviate anxiety.
• Hyperfocus: Becoming intensely focused on a particular aspect of the panic attack, such as a specific bodily sensation or a perceived threat.

Causes of Perseveration in Panic Attacks:

• Cognitive Overload: The mind becomes overwhelmed with anxious thoughts and struggles to shift focus away from them.
• Hypervigilance: Heightened awareness of perceived threats or bodily sensations leads to persistent monitoring and fixation.
• Safety Behaviors: Engaging in repetitive behaviors as a way to cope with perceived danger or discomfort.
• Automatic Response: Perseveration can be an automatic response to stress, similar to other physical symptoms experienced during panic attacks.

Managing Perseveration in Panic Attacks:

1. Grounding Techniques: Engage your senses to bring your attention back to the present moment and distract from repetitive thoughts or behaviors.
2. Deep Breathing and Relaxation: Practice deep breathing exercises and relaxation techniques to calm the body and mind.
3. Cognitive Reframing: Challenge negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to perseveration and replace them with more balanced perspectives.
4. Seeking Support: Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support and guidance during panic attacks.
5. Medication: In some cases, medication prescribed by a healthcare professional may be helpful in managing severe or persistent symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks.

Self-Compassion:

Remember that perseveration is a common experience during panic attacks and does not define your worth or strength. Practice self-compassion and patience as you navigate through challenging moments, and seek professional help if needed to learn effective coping strategies.

Besides for regular menstrual symptoms such as cramps, what other mental and physical symptoms do you get and when do they start, and when do they end? And what helps the most???
Some of mine are.. My hands and feet burn and hurt when I wake up. Generalized muscle fatigue that feels like I went hard at the gym the day before, even though I didn't. Anhedonia to the point where everything is pointless. Zero joy in anything. Can't focus on anything, not even a tv show. Zero energy to do even the smallest of tasks. Random crying with mixed emetional numbing.

I’ve just been at the dermatologist with my partner & our friend and we got the dermatoscopy all-clear :) I told myself that as soon as I am done with this I’ll post my experience and some advice on reddit for everyone who is still struggling to help as much as possible.
What worked for me:
Ivermectin on day 1,8,15,22 ( I overdosed a little bit, for the previous treatments the derm always prescribed 2x5 ivermectin pills but now I took 4x7)
Benzyl Benzoate on days 1,2,3,8,9,10,15,16,17,22,23,24 (no showering during BB days)
The usual cleaning, no contact with anyone or any textiles which others use as well until I had the dermatoscopy check.
My story:
I met a new person in September 2023 (my partner now <3). Roughly one month later I started having first symptoms. At this time I was not at home in Switzerland but on an interrail journey with friends. Back home I instantly went to see a doctor. Lucky me, healthcare is pretty easily available in Switzerland so I could see a doctor the day I got back and we both agreed that I probably have scabies (I already did some online “self-diagnosis”). The doctor prescribed permethrin for me only, thinking I got it from traveling.
Of course it didn’t work as my partner had it too and a few weeks later I was seeing another doctor. This time I got permethrin for my partner and a friend who slept in our bed as well. We cleaned properly but it still didn’t work. Luckily we got an appointment with a dermatologist and he told us that we still have it – by using his dermatoscope - explaining to us the poor efficacy of permethrin. We all got two doses of ivermectin to take a week apart. After the ivermectin and the usual cleaning we felt better for a week or two but then we started to get itchy again and new marks appeared on my hands.
The dermatologist had us wait for 3 months until we could have a check-up, telling us about post-scabies. We were unsure ourselves if what we had is post-scabies or nor. My advice from what I experienced: Yes, post-scabies is a thing and can itch in similar ways, but NEW BURROWS ARE NOT POST SCABIES!!! When we finally could see the derm for the check-up he couldn’t believe that we still were infected. He prescribed Ivermectin again and as he didn’t know where we could have been reinfected and didn’t believe in ivermectin-failure he also randomly prescribed to my family although they had no symptoms and we had no contact. We took the Ivermectin on day 1 and 8, however I left on day 15 to work in Greece for 1 month. Our derm told us that it’s too short for a dermatoscopy check-up before I leave but another derm told us that we can come see him. He gave us the “all-clear” and I left for Greece happily….
One week into Greece I discovered a new burrow on my hand. At this point I was really familiar with this so I was “100%” sure that I had it again. I read even more scientific papers and studies, doomscrolled on this reddit and my mental health got worse. When I got back home we went to see our “original-derm” again and he couldn’t believe his eyes: me and my friend both still had it (I have no f**king idea how, only thing I can think of is another ivermectin failure). As he was overstrained with the whole thing and I already prepared an idea for a treatment schedule in Greece I proposed him that I could do BB + Ivermectin for about a month. He basically told me to take as much Ivermectin as I need from him for the treatment for all of us which was super nice. My dad and I ordered Benzyl Benzoate in Germany as it’s not available in Switzerland and a German friend of us sent it over. For a whole month I basically stayed at home, covered in BB and cleaning daily. This really f**ked my mental health and made me go pretty crazy. But it was worth it: two weeks after the last application we went to another check-up and all of us seem to be clear :) This time ivermectin seemed to work for my friend & partner and my overkill-BB-approach worked out too. Let’s hope it stays like this.
Reddit s/scabies:
This reddit helped me find a whole lot of information, advice and motivation & support. At the same time it is full of horror stories. My tip would be: Yes, use this reddit for information but search for it specifically by using the search function. Drifting off and doomscrolling can take all your motivation and sometimes even your energy to live… If you want useful information without horror stories try finding studies with google scholar or go see maximpulse.com (my treatment schedule was somewhat similar to what he proposed and I’d say he knows what he’s talking about). So many people on this reddit give great advice and help you amazingly but be careful, some posts are just a pile of bullshit and really take your whole energy, motivation and confidence.
Motivation:
This whole thing can really f**k your mental health. Especially treatment failure, uncertainty and helplessness can really take your whole motivation to enjoy life and keep going. However, there are two things I want to tell you.

1. Okay, this may sound dumb but: “It’s not as bad as you think”.

When I was down completely I watched a YT video of an ex-prisoner in Thailand. He was in a Thai prison for 8 years under the worst conditions. After hearing what he experienced I really felt stupid for hating my life just because of some mites. This guy had scabies for 8 years and it was his smallest problem. So I encourage everyone: Yes, scabies sucks, but keep your head up and see the good things in life as it could be so much worse. You only really realize how beautiful things in your life have been when they are taken from you and you see how shitty life suddenly is without.

1. One day it will end :)

Treatment failure, reinfection and other problems concerning scabies are not the normal scenario. It happens – yes – and it’s horrible (and it’s getting more frequent sadly…). But usually scabies is more or less easily curable. During the time you are dealing with it, it can seem so much worse than it actually is. Looking back now I’d say that my 8 months fight with scabies including several Permethrin, Ivermectin and Benzyl Benzoate treatments, disappointment & desperation and even suicidal thoughts wasn’t as bad as it felt. One day this whole shit will be over for all of you!!! And then you’ll be looking back and realizing that everything wasn’t as bad as you thought when reading reddit at 2:00 in the morning.
I’m sorry for the confusing language in this post, my English isn’t the best and it’s somewhat hard to express all my thoughts clearly. I really hope that I could help & motivate people a little with my post. I created a reddit account only for this because I felt like I have to now that I am cured. I’ll stick around for some time to answer questions, feel free to ask if you have any :) And to all of you: keep your head up, it’s doable!!! <3

Okay so before we begin:
1) I am new to Crested care. I've only ever had a beardie.
2) I live in an area where popular crested geckomorphs are generally really severely inbred(or so I heard)
3) In my country apparently lily whites have “syndromes” like enigma syndromes for leopard geckos?? Never heard of it before like, yesterday
So here’s the question:
Someone was giving away a crested gecko baby for free, but no one was taking him because he’s a “syndrome” baby. I offered to take him off the owner’s hand, who said he was getting too busy to take care of it.
He says the gecko I’ll be taking home has a head tilt and that his steps are a bit wobbly, but he eats well and poops well. He just says to not keep it in a tall(or big) enclosure because it’s somewhat lacking in the ability to climb and balance itself.
I plan to take him immediately to the vet for a checkup upon getting him, and keep a close eye to see if the symptoms get better or worse, and figure out the next steps from there. I plan to feed silkworms instead of crickets for insect days(I’m worried about the head tilt), and I’ll make the enclosure flat and wide, unlike most crested gecko enclosures. Otherwise I plan to set the standard of care similar to healthy crested geckos. I am well aware that his lifespan is going to be shorter.
What else should I do for this little guy? Or should I not even take him and ask the previous owner to give him to someone more experienced??