Make scary pop ups

It is a 22’X52” round pool, we tried to do it right and make it level but it just hasn’t worked out. We put the pool up the first time after getting the pool filled up about 1/2 way I noticed it was very unlevel, about 7-8” so we drained it and I used a tractor and level to get it very close to what I thought was level. I’ve put it back up and filled it about 3/4 of the way and I’ve found it’s about 4 1/4” unlevel still. 8 3/4” from the top of the water to the liner below the top rail, 13” at the other end. The pool makes creaking noises while swimming in it so now I’m worried, what are the chances this pool lasts the summer without collapsing? I’m gonna pay a professional to level the ground next year but this year money is tight.

My father and grandmother died a month ago and due to the fact that my father died a few days before my grandmother, my dad's allocation of his mother's trust is set to be distributed to my dad’s two siblings (they each get a third), and because my dad is dead, his third is getting split to me and my sister. It’s in her will.
It’s a long story, but basically my dad stopped working when I was 17 to deal with our family issues and he never got back to full-time work in his field. He tried other pursuits that didn’t pan out and collected disability for many years. I’ve also learned (still need to verify exact numbers) that his parents (my step-grandfather and grandmother) had been piece-mailing him money for years when he asked for it, and he’d say he’d pay them back but never did. I didn’t know this was going on for nine years.
It was hard watching my dad struggle over the years and watching him get pancreatic cancers and die is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.
After nine years of not talking with my dad's family I reconnected with them while he was sick. The problem now is my dad’s siblings are now asking my sister and me to give up half of our share of our inheritance to “pay my step-grandfather back and keep him happy”. They are claiming he’s low on funds and needs money. Mind you, there is no promissory note saying the money my dad got is a loan (it was gifted)
AITAH for keeping my full inheritance and not writing my step-grandfather a big check? Mind you they tried to legally sue me and my sis for the money but realized they have no legal recourse, so tried to make it look like “there’s a complication in the disbursement of the inheritance” Would like your thoughts. Thanks.

I know this is a long shot because I don't have much information to give but I've had this melody stuck in my head for hours and it's driving me crazy.
The song I'm looking for is an old Korean song (could be trot or early K-pop), was originally sung by a woman and the only thing I am absolutely sure of is that it's a very upbeat song but with sad/breakup lyrics like "today I woke up and decided I was going to leave you".
I think I might have heard it once when Baekhyun sung it during a reality show and now after all this time it has come back to haunt me. Any help appreciated!

I'm on 20mg (recently, from 10mg) escitalopram, 150mg bupropion, and 25mg hydroxyzine (as needed). The medication I take specifically for my anxiety is escitalopram. And all the time, I see people talking about how much their meds help them, how their life has never been better, how much less difficult it is to get through each day, how they need to take it every day to function, how much their life has changed, etc. etc.
I haven't experienced that at all. I've noticed it's a little easier to ignore the overthinking thoughts when it comes to actions like talking or moving, but that feels like a result of my own hard work, not the meds. I haven't noticed anything significant at all, good or bad, and I've been on them for... a little under a year now. Hence why my psych recently upped my dose; I told her I still have lots of overthinking thoughts. I just... I'm not feeling any different.
(By the way, this is why I started smoking weed and vaping via my state's medical program. THC helps me so noticeably and undeniably. I feel so much more in control of my own thoughts and free to be openly my autistic self. But I just want to be normal and I'd rather pop pills in the morning than have to sneak hits of my vape at work.)

So I was lucky enough to catch the band doing their residency at Baby's All Right in Brooklyn along with some other one off shows during the 2014 time period in Brooklyn. I was wondering if anyone else here was there as I've only been able to add a couple songs to their setlist.fm from the videos I took. I seem to remember them playing some ELTS, But I was very new to the band and am not sure if I'm making that up. I'd be curious if anyone else here was at any of those shows (especially the baby's all right ones) and had any recollection to fill in the gaps ✌️🐊

couldn’t put the tag, but tw for self harm
if your wondering why i have a problem with this being posted on other platforms, it’s because i know for a fact that the person i m talking about does not use reddit. and i’ll be deleting this afterwards. I am 15f. this is pretty dark elementary school drama but it has stuck with me since and has since haunted me😭😭 so this was about 2017 when i met this girl and let’s call her alicia. we hit it off at first because we both had similar interests. for background i was a shy girl who had gotten bullied in the past. it was going pretty good for a couple months with alicia.until she was also kind of mean to me and she would call me names(names that wouldn’t hurt me now, but at the time it did.) she called me a scaredy cat over something stupid and i got really upset at this. i remember holding back tears. she also did this on my moms phone as i didn’t have one at the time. to which my mother never told her to stop. i don’t honestly remember anymore, we were frenemies from that point on. i think i blocked some of it out because it caused trauma. we would be good one day and then fighting the next. i was also a mean girl at times, but this was mostly as a result of her being toxic towards me. i also had bad traits too, and was very ignorant. i am not and was not an innocent angel, but i was 8! i know now that she possibly had mental issues, but i accused her of faking depression.(to my defense, it really seemed like she was. she would cry on video on tiktok)i also have many memories of her at my house being a spoiled brat which is what i WILL call her because there’s no better way to say it .My parents work very hard to have the stuff that we do have. we are not rich and have struggles with money.when i was 8i had my barbie smart house. she was pushing the elevator up and down(an electrical one and she was doing it roughly) and my dad yelled at her. maybe this wasn’t his place to do,but cmon this girls mom literally just dropped her off at our house and my mom let her in without asking if i was even in the mood for a playdate. Obviously he is going to yell! it’s a barbie smarthouse!! very very expensive. she started crying afterwards which isn’t my issue. most children cry after being scolded (hell even now i be crying😭) my issue is with that my mother decided to run after her into my bedroom and comfort her and hug her. she never did this for me. she was nicer to alicia most likely because of her issues, (if she has any)but damn i’m ur child! another moment was when her mother once again just brought her to our home randomly without texting about a playdate the day before. (she had errands to do and i respect that but.. it’s honestly rude to assume we want another child here.) we were having a pool party with two of my friends who i still talk to this day. let’s call them blonde and ginger. me and ginger wanted to have the pool for ourself just for a moment to show off our dance. we politely asked if they could step out for a second and she threw a fit. blonde and gingers mom was mad at them and i got yelled at by my father. i got grounded,forced to apologize,and sent inside. she lies about this situation to this day and claims i called her”not pog”(ew i hate dreamsmp and it also didn’t even become popular until 2020.it was 2018.) she lies and twists stories to her liking to make herself seem like a victim of bullying by me. this time we invited her over,she also cried about having to get out the pool and help us put the pool cover on. it’s our pool and if my dad wants her to do something she should do it and not whine.my father yelled again, my mom telling him to stop, and comforting alicia once again. she never did this for me i grew up wiping my own tears which i still do and now have trouble expressing emotion in relationships. she lied to her friends about me and said i bullied her. i also struggle with anger issues now half of which probably has to do with her because i’m angry that no one believed me and some still do not. my mother accused me of bullying her and told me (8 year old again) that murderers will go for me and try to k word me first because they think i am a bully. recently told her she should’ve just adopted her and she loves her more than me. she told me to move on but it is hard when it caused me so much pain— i don’t hate my parents,i love them very much and i’m working on getting a better relationship,but i resent them. i resent the kind old l teacher who everyone loved, who accused me of whispering about alicia.(i did talk shit about alicia and i do about her but teacher lady had 0 clue.) “people talk about me and i know how that feels”-teacher lady. i resent the childhood friend,Australia, who commented on my tiktok about me needing to leave her alone and alicia tagged my account saying i bullied her,crying on camera when i had dropped her that day for being a toxic spoiled hypocrite . BY DEFINITON I LEFT ALICIA ALONE BY DROPPING HER BUT ALICIA DIDNT WANT TO SAY THAT PART!it doesn’t give her the sad victim image she wants.her mother texted mine because alicia said she wanted to (not going to say on here so i’ll just say do bad things to herself). parents immediately looked through the phone they gave me. they saw the hurtful things she said about me by which i retaliated back.decided i was the bully and sent me to bed,spanked me,and took away the phone. Do you know how much it hurts a nine year old when it feels like noone understands the big complex feelings you have in such a small body? Sounds messed up but i was very jealous of her and her ability to get away with so much from everyone due to her mental illness or whatever she had going on. i resent everyone who believed her in the past even though it was 4th grade. there is so much more. she did terrible stuff to my friends and her ex. maybe i got a miracle, now i am the popular one and she is alone most of the time. i heard she still says i bullied her,that stupid pog thing,i’m a fake latina(i am adopted with white parents ),takes pics of me , lied to my bf last year,lied to my friends, and many people have apologized to me for believing her overdramaticized fairytales. but she changed something in me that idk if ill get back. the ability to trust. i know i suffer with anxious feelings because of her fs.+the resentment i feel to the people i love the most. since i was very young all i’ve ever known is to be angry which ends in me cussing people out,physically fighting and accidentally hurting loved one’s feelings. again not trying to make myslef seem like a victim(just explanations for why i’ve acted the way i have),so here’s some shitty things i’ve done to her.
Things i’ve done to alicia: •talked shit back,still do to this day but mostly just about what happened bc my image is now tainted •threatened to fight her last year •talked shit about her mom not disciplining her enough •made fun of her haircut •made fun of her interests •made fun of her unibrow with her best friend in 4th grade •call her names •was jealous of her, seemed like my mom didn’t love me and only loved her
I want to be better. i do. i feel cold and mean.I’m working on it but i want a moral viewpoint. please be kind in the comments but tell me if i am the AH. i want to be able to sleep at night and fix my life.

Throwaway account and fake names for obvious reasons.
For some background, my wife Jane (24F) and I (26M) have been together for seven years. Her brother Jack was one of my good friends in school, and honestly I thought she was both hot and funny for several years before I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. I'm still in disbelief that she agreed, since I was definitely not the most attractive or most outgoing member of the friend group that she occasionally joined her brother to hang out with. Many a dumb, teenaged comment were made about how Jack's sister was hot, charming, etc. Jack always told us to knock it off, and ask her out if we had the balls. Well, turns out I was the first one the grow a pair, somehow.
And that sort of brings us to the problem. Three months ago, Jane gave birth to our son Jacob. We've been married for three years, and had decided that we wanted kids soon after the wedding. We waited a bit to improve our financial situation, which is now fairly secure. I am a civil engineer, and my salary has increased the point that Jane didn't have to worry about not being able to work for a while to both physically recover from the pregnancy, and focus on raising our son for a while. I don't at all mind her being a SAHM, and I make sure to clean up after myself at home so I'm not just offloading a bunch of chores onto her.
Overall, things are going pretty great. Jacob is healthy (and has a strong set of lungs), all the bills are paid, and Jane and I are both happy with our careers/roles. However, things hit a snag a month ago when Jane indicated that she felt recovered enough to resume having sex again, should I want. Our sex life has always been quite active, and I'll admit, not being able to be intimate with my wife for many months straight sucked, both physically and emotionally. However, I know that her physical condition was a lot more strenuous than mine, so I took care of myself in private and didn't say anything. However, I was quite happy to hear that Jane was feeling better, and that taking care of Jacob hadn't sapped all of her energy.
We had sex for the first time in five months, and immediately I noticed that things weren't quite as "snug" as they used to be. I'm pretty much exactly the average below the belt, and we had never had any problems with satisfying each other before, and I guess I wasn't expecting the difference to be as noticeable as it was. However, due to the fact that this was the first time I'd gotten more than a handjob in almost half a year, I didn't take significantly longer to finish than I normally would. Because of this, I didn't say anything about the difference in sensation, because even thinking about made me feel like an asshole. She'd pushed my son's entire body out of her, so complaining about how it felt to me seemed selfish.
However, the next time we had sex, it took me longer to finish than it did before the pregnancy. The difference was enough that Jane noticed it, and was subtly telling me to hurry up by the end, since she'd already finished and was ready to be done. When it took the same longer-than-normal time after that, she asked me if there was a reason why I couldn't seem to cross the finish line as quickly. I tried to tell her that it was just nerves, I was tired, etc, but she saw through that. She pushed, and I didn't want to lie to her. I told her that it "wasn't quite as taut as it used to be," my exact words.
She immediately became angry with me, saying that it was gross that I thinking about how she'd become looser after giving birth. Of course it wasn't going to be the same, she'd pushed out something way wider than my dick, etc. She said that it was extremely hurtful that I thought less of her based on her tightness, even though I never said that. She asked why it was taking me longer to finish than it took me before, and I answered with the words quoted above. I never said that was all I was thinking about, or that I thought less of her for it.
If anything, I love her more after having our son, because I saw first hand how much pregnancy fucking sucks and how she soldiered through with my help. She is the love of my life, and it felt terrible to be accused of only caring about how tight she was. I reminded her that I had initiated sex two out of the three times we'd had it after the pregnancy, so why would I do that if I was unsatisfied with her? It wasn't like I was unable to finish at all, it was just taking me longer to do so. I tried to sit down and talk with her the next day after she'd cooled off, but when I brought it up she just became angry again and refused to discuss it.
Needless to say, I haven't tried anything remotely sexual since this fight a week ago. She always kisses me on the cheek when I leave for work, but since our argument even that gesture has felt less enthusiastic, like she's only doing it because she's always done it and doesn't want to start another fight. I pray that she doesn't feel that way about sex too, but I don't know at this point.
TL;DR: Had sex with my wife for the first time after she gave birth. She noticed I was taking longer to finish and confronted me. I said that it was because it "wasn't quite as taut as it used to be," and she became angry and is refusing to discuss the subject with me.
AITAH?

Hello, I need some help but not sure what I can do in this situation. there is a very very small stream that runs at the bottom of our gardens. I have had no issues in the last 15 years but next door neighbour sold up and the new neighbours have somehow managed to cause a blockage on their side, which means the water isn't flowing down, it's sort of flooding out from under the hedges and into my garden and the grass is now slush. It's been like this for nearly 2 years now.
I have spoken to next door about it several times, they've even popped over to have a look at my garden and agreed it's bad but they've taken no action. I get fobbed off with excuses each time, eg we are saving up to redo it, we are waiting for xyz to arrive etc. I've also had several landscapers and gardeners come take a look because to see if I can do something on my side to fix it but have been told the blockage next door needs to be dealt with.
I'm at my wits end and I'd quite like to have a garden that isn't 90% waterlogged slushy mud. What can I do, is it any use contacting the council ?

So I've been on a relationship for almost 6 months, I am the kind of romantic and cute guy, I like cuddling and saying cute things. but my partner doesn't, and it's been super challenging to me. I've tried to understand her, change some parts of me, being less affective and trying to concentrate more on the conversation. But now I can't anymore. Sometimes I need someone to hug me, to kiss me, to say cute things to me, to make cute jokes and all that movies stuff. But my gf it's just not giving me that, and I do, I always send her PARAGRAPHS of text saying how much I love her, I try to say the cutest stuff to her and have also cute moments, but she's just to dry. Whenever she hugs me, kisses me or says cute things to me it's either because I started it first or because she sees me quiet. I've tried to tell her in a non-claiming way but she just said to me that I didn't spend to much time with her and that sometimes she felt ignored. So I started spending more time with her, now we make 1 or 2 hour long calls every day, plus the time we spend at school. And even spending more time, she didn't change that much, she still wouldn't show me as much affect is I do, so I told her again because I believe that saying how you feel, no matter how risky it is, is the key to have good communication. And when I told her she just said the same, she said that she feels ignored and even with the calls and all that she thinks that I'm doing it with bad desire. She always said to me that it was hard for her to show me affection and I have seen that she tries a lot, but sometimes I feel like even knowing how much she tries, I find my self sad because I need someone to give me that kind of love, or at least the same amount as I'm giving. I really don't want to break up with her, she is my everything and I love her, but still I am really not doing that well, and I just wish things could be easier, maybe I'm selfish but It's just hard to keep giving all you have and receiving less that you expect, even though its from someone you love the most, and I don't know what to do.

I'm not really super competitive or anything, but my current pad (old Razer one) is super worn out and I'd like to get a desk pad because I like the look and how it makes my keyboard sound. I'm not super picky but I'd like something decent quality and that has a smooth surface that won't irritate my skin, but not a super slow glide or anything. I can go up to 1000x500mm dimensions but would prefer to stick with 900x400 or smaller because I would need to buy a monitor arm to make room for the depth on a 1000x500 or 950x450. Considered LGG pads (Saturn and Venus), Aqua Control 2/+, Fnatic Focus 3, new Razer Strider since I heard they made it smoother (but haven't actually felt any in person so don't know how I feel about the texture). Also some things more focused on the look and feel like a desk pad from Drop or The Mousepad Company. AC2 seems like my best bet but people say the stitching is raised and it has a rough texture, and poor stopping power (like I said, pretty casual, my aim isn't steady enough to get away with that). AC+ is harder for me to get my hands on but might be better for me. Would love opinions/advice/personal experience if at all possible.

i’m 21f and he is 22m. we had a disagreement that lead to him blocking my number. wasn’t an argument or anything. is that some type of mind game?
he still watches my stories. i tried to talk to him yesterday about anime and he just put a reaction and didn’t respond. it doesn’t make sense for him to still follow me and keep up with me if he no longer wants me… i’m very confused on what to do but i no longer like him. what should i do?
tl;dr - he blocked my number but not my socials and still keeps tabs on me

A decade ago, I had a mental breakdown or identity crisis. Friends, family, relationships, bad decisions, life consequences, etc. all weighed heavy on me; especially while diagnosed depressive (turned out auADHD definitive). I had a heavily crafted IG/twitter feed at the time with thousands of followers. My lense of my life was through these filters day in and out.
I got fed up. I threw my phone in a river, got a new number, permanently deleted all social media accounts, moved states, and never spoke to any of my friends again until recently. I would be asked if I was dead, to make a better picture of how extreme my 180° was. For the better part of the past decade, I was officially offline and kept my circle very small. I flourished in this. Fell in love, moved next to a beach, and became fairly successful and well off. Most importantly, I learned to become present with myself. I attribute this all to my extreme decision to start new.
I recently had a baby which made me revisit my social life and those who I cared about who caused no harm to me. With this, I started a new IG. It also helped me make mom friends as I wanted to feel accepted socially in this new journey and create a village. I don’t post daily or overshare, but I have a tremendous amount of guilt for being back online after so long. I downloaded TikTok as I felt pressured to understand the new wave of media consumption. From here, I notice my tech consumption large and my attention span low. My motivation is also stunted even though I continue healthy decisions daily such as eating clean, lifting weights, doing Pilates, engaging my relationships. By being online, I see myself comparing every decision and judging every environment.
I feel my extreme nature is confusing my moral compass or discipline. Has anyone felt they navigate extremes better than balancing both? Is there a good perspective on what balance looks like?
Any advice would help or past experience stories to share. I am not in a bad mental state, very far from and incredibly grateful for it, but social media makes me question things I never have before such as being a one hit wonder or extremes being seen as negative, etc.
Thanks!
TLDR: Moved and started new offline. Was offline for decade. Established success during. Back online after having a baby to connect with new moms as a first time mom. Feeling guilty using social media after not. Not knowing if there’s balance between navigating pros and cons of surfing or if it’s cold turkey only. Seeking advice.

As others have commented elsewhere, in practice the semis in Budapest might do more to determine the Olympic tickets than the finals. But for fun, I tried to come up with a list of semi results that would create the tensest, most competitive finals possible.
These lists were designed so that no one going into finals is already guaranteed an Olympic ticket with 8th place, everyone in finals could earn one, and the intra-team mini-comps are still relevant:

	Women	Men
Top 8	Nonaka Miho, Ito Futaba, Annie Sanders, Manon Hily, Franziska Sterrer, Laura Rogora, Tucija Tarkus, Fanny Gibert	Sam Avezou, Mejdi Scalck, Luka Potocar, Nicolai Uznik, Filip Schenk, Stefan Scherz, Stefano Ghisolfi, Hannes Puman
9	Molly Thompson-Smith	Paul Jenft
10	Mia Krampl	Alexander Megos
11	Lucia Dorffel	Nicolas Collin
12	Kim Jain	Yannick Flohe
13	Zelia Avezou	Hamish Mcarthur
14	Camilla Moroni	Hannas van Duysen
15	Brooke Raboutou	Sascha Lehmann
16	Luo Zhilu	Adam Ondra
17	Jenja Kazbekova	Alberto Gines Lopez
18	Seo Chaehyun	Lee Dohyun
19	Erin McNeice	Pan Yufei
20	Ryu Nakagawa	Anze Peharc

This isnt the semi results I'm rooting for, but they would make for a wild finals! Anyone else making lists like this?

17 yr old, graduated school early, currently working with counselor for employment assistance which led to recommendation to LearnKey. No “IT” classes or clubs in school but always interested and enjoy tinkering and troubleshooting with both hardware and software. Have minimal web development knowledge, like surface level stuff( HTML, CSS, Java, C). Not necessarily interested in app or web development & have no qualms about learning about it, but would like to be involved behind the scenes, like maintaining server racks and networks with occasional end user troubleshooting.
Currently reading the A+ book from Mike Meyers and honestly a lot of the stuff clicks and makes sense, with the occasional thing I’ll have to look up; will prob read the book twice and mix in some YouTube video tutorials to fill in gaps (Messer, Network Chuck, Tech Gee, & even LTT coming in clutch) .
Don’t know if any of this makes sense or even the right place to ask, but figured I’d ask; how did you get to where you are now? (Most likely than not, help desk / very entry level, which is fine, absolutely do not mind; would like that as well, boots on ground and learn ropes before trying to run. However most “entry level” job postings I’ve seen ask for 2-4 years experience, among other things). If you could go back and do it differently, would you? and how? Any time or resources you spent learning something you wish you would’ve focused on something else?
LearnKey offers what they call signature programs. And am interested in their Entry level cyber security program, which includes: 1. CompTIA IT Fund 2. A+ 3. Net+ 4. Sec+ 5. EC Council Ethical Hacking Essentials (EHE) 6. Certified Ethical Hacker (CEH)
and additionally a entry level cybersecurity digital forensics course which includes those 6, plus: * EC-Council Digatal Forensics Essnt. (DFE) * Computer Hacking Forensics Investigator (CHFI)
Alternatively on shorter time frames & different curriculums, a course containing just: * CompTIA IT Fund. * ITS network Security * ITS cybersecurity * EC Council Network Defense Essentials
And another one with only: * CompTIA IT Fund. * ITS network Security * EC Council Digital Forensics Essentials
Ideally, would opt for Advance level networking that includes: * CompTIA A+, Net+, Sec+ * EC Council Network Defense Essentials (NDE) * Certified Network Defender (CND) * Cisco Certified Network Associate (200-301)
but I know well enough I’m not anywhere near “advanced” in terms of knowledge and skill. Although, I am offered the opportunity to “upskill” down the road so that’s why I’m leaning on an entry level program (besides not wanting to overestimate myself). I’m also definitely not trying to take shortcuts or rush through any of the learning process (that’s kinda the part I enjoy most, well after actually applying what was learned), so don’t mind “taking” time to learn. The time will pass regardless.
I know it’s a long post, I’ll most likely cross post to reach different opinions and views. Basically I’m just asking for some guidance and experience from those that know more than I do. Not to familiar with the ITS certs, and could be wrong but from the research I’ve done, have been led to believe the CompTIA ones hold some more weight.
Long term goal would like to aim for, (junior) System / Network Admin / Specialist, LAN Admin / Specialist, IT Specialist or something along those lines. Would the courses, if any, qualify for any of these roles?
Any input or advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you and have a great day.

So I'm a 32M and this relationship just started about 3 or 4 months ago. So it is pretty new. Everything has been really good so far. Except for one issue her mom.
At first her mom was the sweetest woman. Very welcoming, extremely hospitable, those things have never been an issue. However, lately she's gotten weird and is constantly making comments about how much time I spend there. How I should be going to church, and trying to start arguments over my music/political choices.
To expand on a few of those points we will start with how much time I spend there. I have been too my girlfriends house every weekend for the last two months. Sometimes when I come on Sundays I'll leave earlier like 8, but I get there at noon or earlier. To me this is plenty, I have work tomorrow and need some down time too. This relationship is still new and I don't feel like setting the precedent of codependency. Anyway she'll make comments about how I'm always leaving early not spending time there. I personally feel I've been generous with my time. I've seen them way more than my own family.
Number two is the church thing. She's very religious, I'm not at all. Consider myself atheist. She's made many comments about getting married in churches and me joining them on Sundays. I've been very respectful but it's just not something I'm into and I think she keeps bringing it up trying to break me down.
The last is the weird politics and music thing. I really don't have a strong political opinion. I often see both sides and like to joke on both. I hate joe Biden and Donald Trump. I feel like I joke about both evenly. She's a huge trump fan and constantly picks fights with me by making little comments about how trump is the best candidate and I shouldn't treat them as the same or something? Then also I love hip hop. I always have it's apart of my identity and I'm proud of it. She told my girlfriend that it's a shame I listen to hip hop because she thought I was a good person. Which was weird to me. Then since she found it she'll constantly bring up how violent hip hop is. She went to a country concert and the next day kept saying she saw someone got arrested and it "felt like a rap concert" I'm honestly getting offended because it seems obvious it lines up with when she found out.
Anyway I'm just saying all this because the relationship is new. I'm older I'm really not trying to waste my time. My girlfriend is great, but I'm really worried her mom is alittle overbearing for me. I've dated multiple people whose parents were much less involved. Parents always are it's just human nature. But some of this seems excessive to me. I want to make sure I don't waste both of our times and I'm seriously considering moving on while it's still early because this really bothers me.
Thanks for reading!

So I (34F) have never been formally diagnosed with anxiety but I absolutely have it to some degree and struggle to deal with it in certain situations.
One that comes up often for me is hosting anxiety.
I cannot just sit still and enjoy the company. I need to constantly be on the move, cooking/putting things back that are out of place/taking out garbage/whatever it is that keeps me busy. Just sitting and talking with someone face to face feels so hard for me, so it’s easier to keep moving when I do it. Even worse is when my in laws visit for several days and stay with us while they’re in town. I always just have that “impending doom” of someone being in my house, so I can never totally drop my guard and relax. Just constantly anticipating needs, wondering if they’re judging me about anything (they’ve never given me a reason to believe they’re judging me), putting my “hosting hat” on - it’s exhausting.
Couple this all with the fact that I have two young kids, and when our whole extended family comes over with their young kids, the scattering of toys and chaos all across the house makes me absolutely LOSE MY MIND. I can’t focus on anything else besides that fact that X toy is now in the basement when it belongs upstairs, all the legos are scattered across the living room floor…etc etc.
Anyway. Anyone relate? Or know how to better deal with this? I feel like I put my guests on edge with my constant “puttering” and I hate that I might give off unwelcoming vibes because of the anxiety.

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A soft chuckle filled the cave, carrying with it so much weight that not a single echo chased after it. It was as if, instead of making a sound, her laugh transmitted directly into his head and filled his body.
“It is alright child,” She petted his head. “Unlike the immortals from the stories you may have heard, I do not care for customs and formalities such as these. Raise your head.”
The way that she spoke reminded Mareus of Elder Guo in the almost ancient way that he would form his sentences while speaking in commands. Though it didn’t feel as if she was being overbearing.
Mareus struggled to his knees while looking everywhere except for her face. His eyes darted around her outline, looking into the darkness behind her, at the way her hair moved in the still air. Doing everything they could to avoid recognizing the disdain present in her gaze. Instead, when he finally met her eyes, he only saw softness accompanied by lines only formed with a gentle smile. Similar to the face a mother would make when consoling a crying child.
“Tell me your name, child.”
“M-my name… my name is Maris. I-I don't have a family name, but I was raised by a grandmother with the name Hua.” Starting to feel more comfortable, he asked. “May I know the name of the person who saved me?”
“Hmm, Mare-us.” She mulled over his name for a moment, as if she were determining what characters it used and their meaning. “Yes, it's a good name. The person who picked it chose wisely.”
He wasn't quite sure what to say. He never actually asked where his name came from. So he wasn't sure if it was his parents who chose, or his grandmother. He did ask her what it meant when he was younger, she could never give him a full answer though. Instead, she told him how the first character meant ‘endless’. “Like the boundless and infinite sea,” she would explain.
Having never seen the sea Mareus wasn't sure exactly how true that was, but he did ask a villager who had traveled outside the valley once, and they compared it to the sky. Because of that, he would often stare at the blue sky during the day, tracing the heaven’s scar as it ran into the horizon.
The woman continued to run her fingers through his hair like she would with a beloved pet. “I do have no family name. As such, I have many names over my life. The one I am currently fond of is Fu Kong.”
As if she had gotten what she came for, she gracefully rose to her feet and retreated back to the edge of the darkness. The shadows that fled when she revealed herself now returning, bathing the cave in total darkness.
“Do make sure to eat your meals, I will return with a change clothes for you. Unless, that is, you prefer those rags clinging to your bandages?”
Mareus lowered him so back into kowtow. “Mistress Fu Kong, you bless me with your kindness.”
His words were met with silence, and after a few heartbeats he raised his head to find only darkness awaiting him.
After breaking free from the awe, he finally examined his body for the first time. He had become noticeably thinner from skipping so many meals while his body was healing. It wasn't quite at the level that could be considered unhealthy, but he was already smaller than most children his age, and now he even skinnier.
His thick black hair was crusted and knotted, with some of it knitted into his robes. It's oil seeping into what was left of his clothes and his bandages. That wasn't the worst of it, though. The thing that shocked him the most was the stench.
While retching, he thought. How did I noticed this before?
Mareus reeked with the pungent odor of rot and filth. He was reminded of after the wedding and the parts of the Shou that were left in the field to decompose before being turned into fertilizer.
Breaking free from his regrettable fantasy, he felt a kind of enlightenment that was quickly replaced with embarrassment. I can't believe I was in front of someone like her while like this. He agonized and rolled in his makeshift bed while covering his face.
He frantically looked around for anything to help him hide the stench and, hopefully, his shame. When he noticed a few things that weren't there before. The darkness of the cave faded again, as if the shadows were imitating the clouds on an overcast day.
Without the distraction of a heavenly fairy or his eyes blurred from his tears, he could finally clearly make out his surroundings. And it was no wonder he could find the exit before, instead of a wide area, naturally carved out inside a cave. The room was more like a misshapen bowl with a high ledge that led to several more dark passages.
In the bowl, the closest wall had a small table and stool with a used candle and some parchment. The adjacent one revealed a pile of furs he couldn’t recognize. On the far end of the cave were some plants he'd never seen before. As Mareus got closer he noticed: a small bucket of water, a piece of pumice soap, and a cloth.
He absentmindedly spoke. “I guess she really thought of everything.”
Mareus realized that either the stool was far heavier than it looked, or he had gotten that much weaker as he struggled to drag it between two bigger plants. He tore off his tattered clothes and sat down before fighting with his bandages.
“I'm glad you're taking the initiative to explore on your own.”
He connected the sudden voice into a lot of his feet while trying to cover anything he could. Although the remains of his robe didn't cover much more than the wraps already were.
Unbothered, Fu Kong continued. “I worried that you'd fall back into your depression after I'd left. But seeing you up and about is a testament to the strength of your soul.”
He slowly climbed back onto his seat as the strange woman spoke. Making sure to have most of his body turned away from her. When she suddenly stopped speaking, he looked back to see if he had disappeared again. Instead, she was gracefully sitting on a inky black ledge he didn't notice before.
“Mistress, I don't want to seem disrespectful, but do you need something from me?”
Her face didn't change as she thought for a moment. “There's no rush, I can wait until you're ready.”
Accepting that she had no intention of giving him any privacy, he started scrubbing the areas that weren't covered by his bandages. He quickly noticed that when he accidentally scrubbed over the edges of the bandage, it drank the soapy water. What was even more surprising was that the characters wriggled like they were alive before the bandages secreted some sort of brown substance.
The stink was even more horrendous than before, he immediately slapped it away and watched as it splashed in the bucket. The gunk sizzled away in a matter of seconds until the water was clear again.
Experimentally, he cupped his hand and scooped some of the water onto his leg. Mareus immediately regretted that because the smell was so overwhelming he released what little there was left in his stomach into the bucket.
While covering his nose, he hurriedly cleaned up the remainder of the gunk and made sure to only wash small sections before scraping away what came out into the bucket.
Train to distract himself, he started up a conversation with the woman watching over him. “You said you'd wait until I was ready. What am I supposed to be ready for?”
“Before anything else, we'll have to get you something substantial in your stomach, or you'll waste away completely. You’ll also be needing new robes that are preferably more durable. Your old ones are beyond anything that could be called clothes now, and there's no point of getting you ones that will only fall apart right away.”
Mareus stared at the tattered cloth that was no different than the rag he was using to wash his own body. Wondering just what exactly she had in store for him.
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