Little ceasar pizza

11/20/2017
Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
When I woke up, I was in such a haze that I couldn’t make out where I was at first. My vision was a blur and all I could hear was the sounds of rushing water. I tried to move my limbs, but each muscle down to my little finger felt like lead weighing down on me, making it hard to breathe.
It felt like forever before the ringing in my ear was slowly swallowed out by a voice crying out from what sounded like a distance only to grow louder as it seemed to approach me from the void I had woken up in. It wasn’t until I heard my name that I recognized it was Kate’s voice, pleading and filled with tears.
I blinked away the blur, finding myself staring up at a water damaged ceiling, a single yellow light brightening the room. My head was pounding and my body still felt heavy, but I moved my head enough to turn and see where Kate was calling from. It took a moment, but I soon realized that she was lying on her back, strapped by her arms and legs to a metal table, looking to me with wide terrified eyes.
“Detective, please help!” She cried out. “Please don’t be dead! Please help me!”
“Bl-Black…Well…” I groaned out as I tried, painfully, to pick myself up off the stone floor, “Black…Well… Ah… Shit… Shit! Ms. Blackwell-“ I was gaining consciousness minute by minute as I finally took in the situation and got to my feet. However, the moment I had gotten to my feet and began running to Kate only to immediately fall back to the floor once again, my ankle getting caught by something heavy. I turned to see my ankle had been shackled to the floor by a cuff and chains. I searched my person to find my coat, along with my Glock had been taken, blood decorating my pants and sleeves. I placed a palm to my forehead to find blood when I lowered it down to look at the warm liquid slithering down from my scalp.
“Ms. Blackwell,” I returned my attention to her, examining what I could from my place on the floor, “are you alright, are you hurt?”
“I… I… I don’t… Don’t think so…” she managed to whine out.
“Where’s Mr. Raines?”
To this question, Kate looked away from me, sobbing being her only verbal response.
I went back to the shackles on my ankle and began trying to yank the chains off from the floor, but they had been well maintained and were too strong for me to simply yank out of the stone. I then quickly looked around the room to find we were in a different basement from the one in Cabin #3, though it had the same kind of layout, the table the only major difference. I also took note of the blood stains that trailed from the sides of the table and the dried pools below.
“I want my mom!” Kate cried out, her voice echoing in the empty room.
“I’ll get you to her, I will, I promise,” I assured her, trying to find something, anything to get us out of this, “do you remember how we got down here?”
“I… I… I just re-remember… Remember you g-getting knocked out… Knocked out by someone and them… Them putting a rag over me… Then everything went black… Then I woke… Woke up… H-Here…” Kate answered, trying to breathe with each sob she let out. “I… I th-thought… y-you… You were d-d-… Dead!”
“I’m not, I’m very much alive and I’m going to get you out of here and back to your parents,” I vowed as I continued looking for a way out of this situation, “we’re going to get you out of here, get you home, and we’ll make sure no one ever gets hurt here ever-“
The sound of the basement door from the splintered wooden steps cut me off. I listened as feet descended down the steps to the basement below, Kate’s ragged breaths the only other sound. The person who came down was a woman. The same exact woman from the photo I had found in her house. She looked as if she had not aged since that photo was taken, despite how long ago it seemed the photo was taken. She had the same exact long, white hair, same tired looking eyes, and same disgustingly pale skin as in that photo and on her profile picture. It was Mrs. Larson.
“Deeeeeetectiiiiiiive,” she spoke in a hoarse voice mixed with what I assumed was her own and several others, both male and female, adult and child, “youuuuuuu shouuuullld haaaaaaaaave juuuuuuusssssst giiiiiven herrrrrrr toooooo meeeeee… Youuuuuuuu diiiiiiiiid nooooooot haaaaaave toooooooo ssssssseeeee thiiiiiissssss…”
“Fuck you!” I shouted, beginning to charge at the elderly woman only to be yanked back by my shackles. “Let us go, right now!”
“Nnnnooooo,” Mrs. Larson replied harshly as she stepped over to loom over Kate.
“Stay away from her!” I barked, trying desperately to break free of my shackles.
She ignored me as she ran a shaky hand down along Kate’s trembling face. “Ooooooooohhhhh, Kaaaaaate… Sweeeeet, sweeeeeeeet, Kaaaaaaaaaate…” Mrs. Larson cooed as she went on stroking Kate’s wet cheek. “Doooooo noooooooot crrrrrrryyyyyyy, dooooooonnnnnn’t thiiiiiiiiiinnnnk oooooofff iiiiiiiit aaaaaaaassssss dyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnng, thiiiiiiiiinnnk ooooooooffff iiiiiiit aaaaaassssss ssssssssaaaaaaaaaviiiiiiinnng aaaaaannnnoooootherrrrrrrrr liiiiiiiiife.”
“I-I… I d-don’t… Don’t under-understand… w-what th-that… That m-means…” Kate cried, her hands gripping the sides of the metal table beneath her, “P-Please, d-don’t… Don’t kill me… L-Let… Let us-us go!”
“Nnnnnoooooo,” Mrs. Larson answered in the same harshness she used on me, “IIIIIIIII neeeeeeeed youuuuuuuuuu,” she then shot a death glare my way through tired, silver eyes, “aaaaaaaannnnnnd heeeeeeeeee’ssssssss beeeeeeeeeennnnnn nnnnnnnoooooooothiiiiiiiiinnnnnng buuuuut aaaaaa thooooooorrrrrrnnnn iiiiiiinnnnn myyyyyyyyy ssssssssiiiiiiiide siiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnccccccce youuuuuu eeeeeessssssscaaaaaaped meeeeeeee.” She then looked back to Kate with a softer look. “Aaaaaaaassssss fffffoooooorrrrr whaaaaaaaat youuuuuuu caaaaaannnn’t uuuuuunnnnnnderrrrrrssssssstaaaaaaannnnnnd, IIIIIIIIII nnnnnneeeeeeed yourrrrrrrrrr heaaaaaaaarrrrrt tooooooo ssssssssaaaaaavvvvvvve myyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiisssssssterrrrrrrr.”
“The fuck does that mean?” I demanded, still trying to vain to pull my ankle from the chains. “How the hell will Kate’s heart save your sister?”
“Diiiiiiiiidnnnnnn’t nnnnnnneeeeeeed toooooo beeeee Kaaaaaaate’sssssss,” admitted Mrs. Larson, “buuuuuuuut sssshhhhhheeeeee hiiiiiiiiid theeeeee ooooooootherrrrr giiiiirrrrrrllllll ffffffrrrrroooooommmmm mmmmmeeeeee.”
“S-Son… Sonja…” Kate sniffed, the tears still streaming down her face.
“IIIIIIII oooooooonnnnnlllllyyyyy neeeeed fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllle,” Mrs. Larson dismissed Ms. Greymoore’s name, “ffffffeeeeeeemmmmmaaaaaallllle heaaaaaaaarrrrrrrtsssss toooooo rrrrrrreeeeeetuuuuurrrrrrnnnnn mmmmmmyyyyy ssssiiiiissssssterrrrrrrrr toooooo theeeeeeee giiiiirrrrrllllll ssssshhhhhheeeee uuuuuuuusssssed tooooo beeeeeee.”
“That’s a fucking joke right?” I asked. “The hell makes you think eating a female heart will turn your sister back into a human woman? Have you seen what’s happened to your sister?”
“IIIIIIIII knnnnnnnooooooow beeeeeeecaaaauuuuusssssse iiiiiiiiiiit wooooooorrrrrked ooooooonnnnn mmmmmeeeeee,” Mrs. Larson explained, “IIIIIIIIIII waaaaaasssss aaaaaaablllllllle toooooo reeeeeeetaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn thiiiiiiiiiisssssss huuuuuummmmmmaaaaaannnnn fffffffooooorrrrrrmmmm ffffffrrrrrooooommmm eeeeeaaaaatiiiiiinnnnnng theeeeeeee heaaaaaaaaarrrrrtsssss, sssssspecifffffficaaaaaaallllllyyyyyy fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllleeee sssssssooooooo IIIIIIIIII mmmmmmaaaaaayyyyyy rrrrrreeeeetuuuurrrrrnnnnn toooo beeeeeiiiiinnnng theeeeeeee giiiiiirrrrrrrllllll IIIIIII uuuuuuusssssed toooooooo beeeeeee.”
“You were dead,” I pointed out, “they found your body up here, you were buried.”
“Theeeeeessssssse sssshhhhheeeeeellllllsssss arrrrrrre mmmmmeeeeeerrreeeellllyyy veeeeeessssssellllllssssss ffffffoooooorrrrrr theeeeeeee sssssspiiiiirrrrriiiiiitsssss weeeee hiiiiiiiiiiide beeeeeneeeeaaaaattthhhh,” Mrs. Larson responded, finally turning her gaze to me, “IIIIIIII haaaaaaad tooooooo maaaake peeeopllllle beeeelieevvvve IIIIIII haaaaaad diiiiiiied tooooo keeeeeep frrrrroooommm theeeee poooooollllliiiiicccce ffffrrrrrrooooommmm pooookiiiiiinnnng aaaaarrrrouuuuuunnnnd aaaaannnnnd rrrrruuuiiinnnnniiinnnng eeeevvvveeerrrrryyythiiiiinnnng.”
“So, let me just get this whole thing straight,” I began as I started rubbing my temples, "when you and your sister starting into… Whatever the hell that thing you call your sister is-“
“Ooooouuuurrrrr sssssspiiiiiirrrrrriiiiiit,” Mrs. Larson corrected.
“Whatever!” I shot. “You found out that eating female hearts turns you two back into human women and to keep police from suspecting you, you pretended to be dead and… What? Just hope a shitty real estate agency would buy your property and you could just… Kill people, people with lives and families outside the mountains?”
“Thaaaaaaaat iiiiiiisssss cooooorrrrrreeeeect…” Mrs. Larson admitted, narrowing her eyes at me.
That’s when I began laughing hysterically, holding my sides that hurt with each harsh breath of a laugh I took. Both Mrs. Larson and Kate looked to me as if I had lost my mind and at this point I was starting to believe I had. Everything I had seen and heard about this entire case would put anyone in the looney bin. And I’m the damn fool who dug too deep into something he had nothing to do with.
“Whaaaaaat’s ssssoooo ffffuuunnnny?” Growled Mrs. Larson, stepping around Kate to stand between us.
“I don’t know what’s fucking funnier, honestly,” I chuckled, running a hand through my hair, “the fact that you thing people won’t be poking around even more when they discover not only is Blackwell missing, but so is a detective and escaped convict all of whom now have ties to these fucking mountains and those cabins, or that you thing I’m more afraid of what you plan on doing with me more than I am when her father finds out I got her in this situation in the first place!”
“Heeeeeee wooooonnnnn’t beeeee aaaaabllllle toooooo doooo aaaaaannnnnyyyyythiiiiiinnnng aaaaaaafffffterrrrrrr IIIIIIIII’mmmmm dooooooonnnne wiiiiiiiith booooooth ooooooooffffff youuuuuuuuu,” Mrs. Larson hissed as she inched closer, “fffffffiiiiiiirrrrrrssssst, IIIIIIIII waaaaaannnnnt youuuuuuuu toooo waaaaaatch mmmmmeeeee kiiiiiiillllll herrrrrrr,” she turned her head to look to Kate who was now just shaking, her eyes seemingly gone dry from the crying, Mrs. Larson then looked back to me, “sssssseeeeecooooonnnnd, IIIIIIII wiiiiillllll ssssssaaaaave youuuuu fffffooooorrrr mmmmmmyyyyy sssssiiiiiisssssterrrrr, oooooonnnnne heeeeaaaaart wiiiiilllll nnnnoooot ssssssaaaaaatissssfffffyyyy herrrr huuuuuunnnnnger.” She took another step. “Uuuuuuuunnnnnllllliiiiiike sssssssoooooommmme ssssssiiiiiibllllliiiiiiinnnnnngsssss, IIIIIIIII caaaaaarrrre aaaaaaboooouuuuut mmmmmmyyyyy ffffffaaaammmmiiiiilllllyyyyyy.”
She stared into my eyes, expecting a reaction and while my blood did somewhat boil at the accusatory statement, I didn’t fully understand what she was getting at. Not until she used that voice. Not until she relived that day with those two familiar child-like voices.
“Screw you, Liam!” She cried out in a voice I remember from my childhood. “I hope you drop dead!”
“Stop.” I demanded.
“Piss off, Ryan!” She shot back in a second boy’s voice.
“I said stop!” I began shouting.
“Help me, Ryan! Please, help me! I’m sorry! Please, Lucky Dime, help me!”
I then lunged toward her, reaching my hands out toward her neck only to be stopped by the shackles as she swiftly, almost without even moving, stepped just out of my reach.
“Fucking bitch!” I screamed out.
“If only you really cared about me, Lucky Dime,” sighed Mrs. Larson as she turned and began making her way to the side of the room where a cart stood in the shadows. She pulled it over to Kate’s side, the cart covered in rusted medical tools.
“P-Please,” Kate wheezed, “p-p-please… I… I d-d-don’t w-want… Want t-to d-d… D-Die, I… I w-w-want m-m-m… My m-mom!”
“Dooooonnn’t woooorrrrryyyyy,” Mrs. Larson soothed, using that mix of different voices, “mmmmmmaaaayyyyybeeee sheeee wiiiillll cooooommmme loooookinnnng ffffooooorrrr yooouuuuu aaaaannnnnd sheeeeeee caaaaannnnn joooooiiiiiinnnn youuuuuuu.”
Kate began to sob, begging and pleading for Mrs. Larson to let her go, thrashing around in her restraints. Telling the older woman that there was no saving her sister and that she was too far gone for this sick ritual to work anymore. I tried to yank at the chains once more, trying to loosen it at least enough to break free and grab at Mrs. Larson.
“Rrrrrrreeeeellllllaaaaax,” Mrs. Larson ordered as she began filling a syringe with some kind of clear liquid from a small bottle, “yoooouuuuuu woooooonnnn’t eeeeeveeennn fffffeeeellll iiiiiiit, thiiiissssss wiiiiiillllll puuuuuut youuuuu toooo ssssssllllllleeeeeep aaaaaannnnnnd wheeeeeennnnnn youuuuuu waaaaaake uuuuuuuup, youuuuuuu’lllllll beeee iiiiiinnnnnn heeeeeaaaaaaveeeennnnn… Uuuuuunnnnnnnllllllessssss youuuuuuu weeeerrrrrrre aaaaaa haaaaaarrrrrlllllooooooot, iiiiiiinnnnnn whiiiiiiiich caaaaaassssssseeeee, mmmmmaaaayyyy Goooooood haaaaaaaave mmmmmmmmerrrrrrrcccccyyyyy ooooonnnnn youuuuuur ssssssoooouuuuullllll… Aaaaannnnnd baaaaaaasssssed ooooonnnn hoooooow youuuuuu drrrrressss aaaaannnnnd theeeee coooommmmpaaaannnnyyyy youuuuuu keeeeeep,” She added as she eyed me, “IIIIIII ssssssaaaaaayyyy youuuuu haaaaaave aaaaa lllllloooooot ooooooffff fooooooorrrrgiiiiiviiiiinnnnng tooooo dooooo.”
Kate continued to cry as Mrs. Larson pushed the needle of the syringe into her arm, pushing down on the plunger as it pierced the flesh. Kate’s loud screams soon turned quieter and her red eyes began to glaze over, but she continued to stay awake, tightening her grip on the table and still begging to be let go.
“IIIIII waaaaannnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch, Detective,” Mrs. Larson spat out my title in Mr. Blackwell’s voice, “IIIII waaaaannnnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch herrrrrr fffffaaaaaade aaaaaannnnnnd mmmmmeeeee rrrrreeeemmmmooooove heerr heeeaaaarrrrrt toooooo ffffffeeeeeed tooooo mmmmmmyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiissssssterrrrrr,” she then pulled out a recorder, “theeeeennnnnn wheeeeeennnnn IIIIIII ssssssuuuuummmmoooooonnnnn herrrrrrr aaannnnd sheeeee fffffiiiinnnniiiishessssss oooooofffffff heeeerrrrr heeeaaaaarrrrrt, youuuuuuu’llllllll beeeeee neeeeeext.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled, “I hope you and your sister burn.”
“IIIIIIIII’mmmmm gooooonnnnnaaaaa gooooo aaaaallllllerrrrrrt mmmmmyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiissssterrrrrr,” Mrs. Larson turned and began making her way to the basement steps, “ssssseeee youuuuu boooooth ffffffoooooorrrr diiiiiinnnnnnerrrrrrr.”
She then pressed the play button on her recorder and a small, little girl’s voice echoed in the room before Mrs. Larson vanished up the steps.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
Then the door slammed shut.
“De… Tec… Tive…” Kate squeaked out, her breathing slowing.
“Stay awake, Blackwell,” I ordered her gently, looking around frantically for anything to get us both out of this alive, “I’ll get us out of this, I promise, just stay awake, we’ll get out of here, I just need-“
“I’m… S… Sorry…” she breathed out. “I’m… So… Sorry… For… Get… Getting… You… In… To.. This…”
“No, no, this is not your fault!” I assured her. “That psychotic bitch got us both into this shit and I won’t stop until I get us out and put her and her fucking sister are six feet under!”
“W…Wha… What… H… Hap… Happened… To… To L… Liam…?”
I stopped struggling with the chains and turned to look to Kate. Her head was turned to me, her face wet, hands clenching as hard as they could to the table beneath her, the light in her eyes slowly fading second by second. She was trying desperately to stay awake. The medication Mrs. Larson taking hold of her as the minutes ticked by.
I dropped the chains that were in my hands, looking away from her, wanting to stare at anything other than another person I had failed.
“He was killed,” I answered, “we were fishing at a lake nearby… Lake Gaagige… We got into a really stupid ass fucking fight about how which fishing pole we were going to use. I wanted to use our dad’s, but Liam was older and said only men could use dad’s fishing pole… I told him… To drop dead and stormed off… When I got home, my parents dragged me back to the lake and scolded me for leaving him…” I trailed off, swallowing all the tears and screams I’d bottled up since that day. “When… We found… Him… The autopsy… Said he was mauled by a bear… I’ve blamed myself for leaving him there alone… For letting him die and getting killed like that… The last thing I ever told him was to drop dead… I was a shitty brother and now I’m a shitty detective…”
“Is… Is he… Why… You became… A… Detective…?”
I took a deep breath and swallowed the tears again. “No, Blackwell,” I answered, “he’s not why I became a detective… I already knew what had killed him… It was my fault… If I hadn’t been such a brat and stormed off… He might still be alive… And now… What that bitch said…” I replayed Liam’s screams that escaped Mrs. Larson’s mouth. “I’m starting to think I’m getting what I deserve. Karma’s back to kick my ass…”
“H… How… Old…?”
“I was six… Liam was eight…”
“N… N… Not your… F… Fault…”
I turned to look to Kate, her eyes on mine, however faded.
“Y… You were… Only… A k… Kid…”
I took another intake of what little air there was down in that basement. I had spent years trying to convince myself of the same thing, but those moments never got easier for me when those thoughts returned.
“I think you’re just being nice,” I laughed painfully, “but I’m afraid I- and my folks- don’t share the same sentiment.”
I was staring down at where the chains were coming from in the ground, Kate not saying a word for over a couple of minutes. I spun to see if she had fallen asleep and immediately tried to find out how to wake her up again. However, once I our eyes met, I saw that she was still fighting sleep, the last of her tears rolling down across the bridge of her nose and into her hair.
“I… I… I had… Had a c… Crush… O… On… J… Jasper…” she confessed, her voice getting quieter and higher. “P… Paul and… And Son… Sonja knew… I never… Never c… Cared f… For Luke… But I’m… Sure… S… Sonja t… Told him…” she looked like she was going to sob again. “I… I never g… Got the… Ch… Chance… T… To tell J… Jasper… I… Was… Scared… He… He and… P… Paul were friends… And I… I kn… Knew… How P… Paul f… Felt… A… About m… Me… I… I did… Didn’t wa… Want to… R… Ruin… Anyth… Anything…” She took a gulp of air. “I… I ha… Hated L… Luke… I… A… Always… Kn… Knew… He… He was a… Player… B… But Sonja… Said… Said she was hap… Happy… So… So I did… Didn’t wa… Want to g… Get in… H… Her way… B… But Luke d… Didn’t l… Like h… How cl… Close… We… Were… I d… Didn’t w… Want him to make… Make her th… Think I… I was l… Leading her o… On… T… To get them… To b… Break up… Th… Then… That n… Night… Sh… She w… Wanted to… To leave…” She let out two pained gasps of breath. “I… I let them down… I let them all down… Luke pro… Probably thought… Thought I w… Was the one who… Who f… Filled Sonja’s mind… With thoughts of… Of him ch… Cheating… Th… Then I… I got them… All killed…
I… I didn’t deserve them, d… Detective…” she went on, looking away from me to stare up at the water damaged ceiling, “I… I… I was a… Terrible… Terrible friend…”
“Did you read their guest book entries?” I asked.
“N… No… D… Didn’t w… Want to… To r… Read any… Anything p… Private…” Kate answered.
“Jasper didn’t blame you,” I assured her, remembering what he had written in his entry during his time watching Mrs. Larson just outside the cabin, “even when he heard the voices- when he heard Mrs. Larson- telling him to, he didn’t. I don’t think the others blamed you either. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ms. Blackwell, there’s no way you could have known any of this would happen.”
“K… Kate…”
“What?”
“C… Call… Call me… Kate…”
“Aright, Kate,” I let out what little laughter I had left inside me, “so long as we’re the last people we’ll be chatting with, call me Ryan.”
“R… Ryan…”
“If we at all live through this, I’m going to need a long vacation after this,” I said as I turned to look at my shackles again, looking around myself to try finding anything to Get free since a vacation sounded like something to die for at that moment, “do you know any good vacation spots I can book for the fall?”
“Y… You’re… You’re a… Dick…” Kate struggled to laugh.
“I also enjoy pineapple on pizza,” I winked as I reached down to my ankle, ready to break it just to taste that sweet combination of tomato sauce and fruit.
“G… God… I… I c… Can’t… Believe… I th… Thought y… You w… Were c… Cute…”
I sat down on the floor, grabbing my ankle with both my hands. Needing to hype myself up enough to do what I was going to do, I began removing my shoe and sock from the foot, rubbing and squeezing my way up and down the ankle to my toes. I had never broken a bone in my life before this and I definitely never thought I’d do it of my own volition, but this was a desperate time and it definitely called for desperate…
“Wait what?” I turned to look to Kate, finally registering what she had said.
However, just before I could be sure of what I heard, the sound of a hunting rifle going off just above our heads right before we heard the door to the basement swing open and immediately be slammed shut. Both Kate and I turned to see someone stumble down the wooden steps, his clothes torn and body scratched and cut to a nearly deadly degree. I was even shocked he was still breathing.
“M… Mr… R… Raines…?” Kate gasped out.
“What’s left of me at least,” Mr. Raines grumbled as he limped over to Kate and quickly began undoing her straps to the table, “damn thing almost ripped my head off, but one swing of the barrel to its eye and I was able to get away… Can’t say it didn’t do its damage though… I’m… Getting really fucking hungry…”
He shook his head violently before limping over to me. He then raised an eyebrow at me when he saw how I was positioned still on the floor with a bare foot in my hands shackled to the floor.
“I… I was… I… I thought you were-“ I stammered.
“I am,” Mr. Raines interrupted, “at least, I’m on my way there anyway.” He then retrieved my Glock from his back pocket. “I don’t know what that thing did to me, but I’m not gonna make it out of this alive, or the way I came in. It’s a massacre out there by the way. Lot of men in blue bodies out there… Very… Hard to ignore… Sure more will be on their way. So.”
With that, Mr. Raines pointed at my chains and pulled the trigger on my clock, barely giving me time to cover my ears as the sound rung out loudly in the basement. I shook my head, trying to undo the blurry and ringing side effects of the sound of a gun going off near your head. I gave the older man a glare before standing and snatching my Glock from his hands. That’s when I saw Kate shifting herself to the side of the metal table she was no longer tied to, trying to get her limbs to comply with her to help her off and on to the floor.
I ran over and grabbed her just as she nearly stumbled face first to the floor and lifted her up to her feet, her body heavy with lack of keeping herself up.
“Do you think you can walk?” I asked, trying to keep her on her feet.
“I… I don’t… I…” Kate stammered as she tried to push herself off of me while also using using me as a crutch until she could stand on her own. However, she didn’t seem to be able to put any kind of pressure on her legs without falling down.
“Kate?” A girl’s voice called out from above us.
Feeling Kate shudder, I realized that it must have been the sound of Sonja’s voice and Mrs. Larson was using her to keep Kate from running. I quickly swung my arm down behind her knees, pressing the other down on her back as I lifted her up off the floor, my Glock at the ready as I kept it pointed in front of me while my arm held up Kate’s knees.
“She must have heard the gunshots,” I pointed out, “how’d you get past her in the first place?”
“I set the other cabins on fire,” Mr. Raines answered as if it were the simplest of answers, “I had to distract her somehow and give those bodies she’d been eating a better fate than becoming her shit.”
“Are you planning on setting this place on fire too?” I asked.
“‘Course I am!” Mr. Raines exclaimed, seemingly offended I’d even ask. “I already doused it in gasoline, I ain’t wasting all that time!”
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice cried out, getting closer to the basement door. “Are you seriously leaving me here to die alone again!”
“Please… Make it… Stop…” Kate sniffed as she gripped my shirt and burying her face into the fabric.
“Let’s get you two out of here.” Mr. Raines began leading the way to the basement stairs, cocking his rifle as he did so.
“What about you?” I asked, immediately following after him.
Mr. Raines didn’t answer as he stomped up the stairs and kicked the door open to the first floor of the cabin. The stench of the gasoline he had spilled hitting me harshly in my face.
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice, along with a different crescendo of male voices shrieked out as Mrs. Larson appeared from the corner of the hallway where the basement was located.
“Leighton?” A different woman’s voice asked the moment the old woman’s eyes spotted Mr. Raines. I then watched in both shock and confusion as it almost looked like the very skin on the woman melted off to reveal a much younger woman. The woman I recognized as Bonnie Collins. “Leighton… Love is that you?”
Mr. Raines kept his rifle on the vision of the woman he once loved before her murder, but didn’t move or speak.
“Darling, I’ve missed you so much!” The fake Bonnie cried out as she began making her way to Mr. Raines with arms open wide to hug him.
Mr. Raines then lifted his gun up higher, placing his finger on the trigger which caused the vision to stop in her place.
“Leighton?” The fake Bonnie asked. “Baby, it’s me… Bun-Bun… Don’t you recognize me…?” She began to tear up.
“You’re not my Bunny,” Mr. Raines growled before he shot once at the woman.
The fake Bonnie swiftly dodged the bullet, an inhuman hiss coming from an unhinged mouth, revealing a row of long, sharp teeth. The skin of Bonnie then melted off to reveal another woman, a lot younger than the first one it intimidated. The face of one of the victims upon being brought on this case.
“Kate,” the fake Sonja called out, “Kate, what are you doing? Who are these men? Why are they trying to hurt me?”
Kate let out a sobbing gasp, her nails digging into my shoulder with her arm wrapped around my neck.
“Didn’t I suffer enough?” The fake Sonja asked. “First my boyfriend and now you? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore?”
“Shut up!” Kate demanded. “You’re not Sonja! You killed her, you killed all of them! I don’t care what happens to me, but I’m not letting their memories end with you!”
Kate then snatched my Glock from my hand under her legs and shot directly at the fake Sonja’s head. Again the shot missed as the fake vision of the girl slithered out of the way, a frustrated growl of a dog and human escaping it’s mouth. It then zipped to the side, cowering with its back to us on the floor.
“Lucky dime…” A child’s voice then took over. The vision’s skin melting now to a much smaller figure. “Is this what you want? To kill me all over again?” He turned to look up at me, Liam’s face forever eight-years-old staring up at me. “It’s no wonder mommy and daddy hate you now… You were always a shitty brother… Now, I’m gonna starve to death because you’d rather help a couple of strangers.”
“I’m sorry, Liam,” I replied, everyone, including the fake Liam looking to me in surprise, “I left you alone out here and that’s what got you killed by that thing out there and I’m sorry. But, if I’d stayed it may have been both of us and then mom and dad would have no one left to blame but each other. If you had left and I was the one killed, you’d probably be in my shoes instead. I’m sorry for letting you get killed, but I’m gonna make up for it now.”
I then took my Glock back from Kate and pointed it to the vision of Liam.
“Good bye, Liam.”
I shot the gun once again, missing the creature again, however, this time I just kept shooting, Mr. Raines following after. Our different bullets just kept firing, the thing dodging and trying to get closer to us. The creature screeched out at us in a myriad of different voices both familiar and unknown. It wasn’t until one shot from my Glock struck the creatures shoulder and Mr. Raines’ rifle struck its head when the skins of everyone it was trying to turn into all melted off, revealing Mrs. Larson once again.
However, this time, she looked shriveled, older than she looked before. Her face looked deformed, beginning to grow furry, her eyes growing nothing but red, no irises, no pupils, just red. Her hair grew longer, branches like antlers growing painfully out from her skull, breaking the skin as they grew larger. The lower half of her face grew elongated, turning into that of a muzzle of fangs and a drooling mouth.
“You… All… Have no rrrrrrriiiiiight!” A different, unknown voice snarled out from what used to be Mrs. Larson. “People liiiiiike you all… Abandoned me and myyyyyyyyy sister!” The fur growing around this thing grew out short and shaggy, the cloths it was using melting off with the skin and flesh it was wearing. It now didn’t look anything like a human woman. It now took the form of a large wolf mixed with that of a deer, it’s body dog-like with hooves, antlers, and a long, scraggly tail. “You lot abandoned us here! You left us all here to diiiiiiiie!”
Guilt was weighing down on me with each syllable it was growling. Kate looked away from it, burying her face in my neck as Mr. Raines lowered his rifle.
“Nooooow, you’re bringing more here to just leave and let die out here!” It went on, it’s horrifying, broken body shuddering. “Why let them just vanish and die up here when they can bring people like my sister and I back? Give me Kate’s heart and fix what you threeeeeeeeee failed!”
Mr. Raines then handed over his rifle to Kate, placing it down on her stomach as her hands were still wrapped around my neck. The older man made his way over to stand over the thing, its neck creaking like a rusted door as it turned its wolf-like head to look up at him.
“Leighton…” Bonnie’s voice came from the creature. “Give mmmmeeeee her heart aaaannnnd we can be togetherrrrr again… If you eat the deeeeeetective’s we can saaaaaave you tooooooo…”
“My Bunny’s dead,” Mr. Raines told it as he dug in his pocket and took out a carton of matches, “and so am I.”
“You’d burn your wife?” A mix of Bonnie and Mrs. Larson’s voices shrieked as it glared at the match he took from the match box.
“You’re not my wife,” Mr. Raines told it, “and I’ll never see her again.”
“Fooooooool,” Mr. Larson’s voice chuckled, “you’llllllll killllllll us both!”
“With the shit I’ve done in my life, I know you’re taking me to Hell with you,” Mr. Raines growled back as he struck the match on the box, “so I’m sure as fuck not afraid to burn here on Earth with you!”
Mr. Raines then dropped the match to the floor right before the creature and everything around the two of them immediately went up in flames, the fur of the creature catching quickly and engulfing it. An agonized shriek echoed out all around us, the creature thrashing in the fire it had gotten swallowed up in. Mr. Raines then grabbed it by it’s long, furry throat and swung it down back flat the floor, jumping to pin it down.
“Get out!” Mr. Raines cried out to me. “Leave here!”
Not needing to be told twice, I held onto Kate tightly and bolted past the two burning bodies, jumping over the fire as it began growing fast throughout the cabin. I quickly got to the front door and stopped to look back to see Mr. Raines fighting the creature and preventing it from coming after us, it begging for me to bring Kate back and that it would die without her.
“I’ll clear your name,” I called back, trying not to reel back in horror as I saw Mr. Raines skin begin to melt off, “I’ll let people know you didn’t kill Bonnie!”
“I’ll let people know you didn’t… Kill… Liam!” Mr. Raines’ voice called back, him thrashing around with Mrs. Larson as he said my brother’s name in my voice.
I turned back and kicked the front door open, rushing Kate out of the burning cabin. I ran until I got far enough from the smoke, turning back to see all three cabins now on fire, the area around them all ablaze. The only place untouched was Mrs. Larson’s house, all the evidence remaining. I could hear sirens in the distance coming closer. The sounds of shouts from the surviving officers sounding much closer.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
I looked to the front porch of Mrs. Larson’s house where her recorder continued to call out for her sister. I set Kate down at the base of a nearby tree and ran to snatch the recorder, shutting it off. I searched around, looking for any signs of Prudence, but it appeared that the fire and the sounds of sirens and voices had scared her off. I ran back to Kate, her eyes closed and her not responding to me calling to her, but after checking her pulse and breathing, I found that the medication Mrs. Larson had given her had finally taken over and she was now fast asleep, the rifle Mr. Raines gave her still sitting on her rhythmically rising and falling stomach.
Letting out a sigh of relief, I leaned against the same tree I set Kate down on and slid down to the ground next to her. The first two cabins were already practically nothing but ash, the last still blazing as I heard the slowly fading screams of Mrs. Larson and Mr. Raines coming from inside.
When the screaming ended all together, the smoke turning blacker as it rose from the flames, I got to my feet and took out my pack of cigarettes as I approached the fires, staying far enough away not to get burned. I opened the pack up before stopping myself as I reached for one of the ten remaining cigarettes inside. I then flung the entire carton into the fires without taking one.
“Save one for me down there, you old bastard,” I told Mr. Raines before making my way back to Kate’s side.
It wasn’t long before the remaining officers found us, looking in confusion at the fires and to me with a sleeping victim in a homicide case on the ground. I told them we’d need to call an ambulance for Kate and that we needed to keep the flames from getting to Mrs. Larson’s house as it held evidence on the case. One officer retrieved his radio and called for an ambulance while a group ran to the house and another went to try controlling the fire as best they could by yanking out any bushes near by and throwing them away from the area around the house.
Luckily, the fire trucks were called long before the fire spread too far, residence noticing it practically the moment Mr. Raines set the first cabin on fire.
As I sat there, keeping Kate held up against the tree we sat under, I listened to the crackling of the fire, the sirens of fast approaching fire trucks and the ambulance, and the sounds of distance, coyote, almost human, howling.

Me 21M my sisters 13, 23 . For as long as I can remember when we would plan to go somewhere it would have to places they liked, If I wanted to go eat/ shop somewhere it would have to be somewhere they thought was good or had to be close by. I would put my foot down and insist on going. But we would still not go or they would be mad and go which would spoil the trip. If i refused to go I would be met with insults on how ungrateful I am or that I am a baby. I usually let it go or just swallow my pride and don’t take it too serious.But I think this incident was the final straw. I have planned a trip to the beach on Sunday and planned to go at the end of the week. My sisters said sure which is rare because they don’t like the beach. The days leading up I was so excited and got a body board. They told me” WhhYY” and to chill out that we weren’t gunna do much. I kept bringing it up to make sure they didn’t change their mind like they usually do. That Friday when the trip was supposed to happen I asked them if they were ready. They my older sister said “ I only like going in the morning it’s already 4 pm I don’t want to go now there are to many people” I assured her that there isn’t that many people and we would find a spot since i’ve been during worse times. She still said that she didn’t want to go today. I suggested tomorrow but she said “How?” I told her we just have a garage sale tomorrow morning and that’s all. We had the rest of the day to go. She said “ I want to go in the morning “ before she finished saying her excuse . I told her to quit the crap and tell me yes or no. She told me to stop being dramatic. I then asked my little sister if she was still down to go and told me no. At this point I was over it and went to chill out in my room. My sister told me to go get a pizza I told her I was busy. She ordered one and told me to pick it up in 30, then told my sister and I that we should do a game night. I told her I only play board games in the mornings. Which was a cheap shot but felt good in the moment. Later that evening I get them pizza and when I am about to grab a slice my sisters yell “I wanted the small slice” So i drop back in the box and get told im dramatic for doing that. I get insulted all the time and I make excuses for it because they are my sisters and this happens. But this happens so often that im fed up with it . I want to tell them how this makes me feel. But each time I have told them they shut me down saying i’m being emotional then bring it up later to taunt me later. I’m not sure if im just being a baby about all or this ? AITAH for giving them the cold shoulder ?

Hello everyone, first of all English isn't my first language, I'm on mobile, and I tend to ramble, so I'm sorry about that. I (34F) am in a short relationship (4 months) with L (28M), he's very kind and sweet, and I'm still adapting to this whole new relationship thing, for this last sentence I'll give you some background. My last serious relationship lasted for 3,5 years between me (24F at the time) and F (21M at the time). It started after we matched on a dating app and we went on our first date. Our first date was crazy perfect, he picked me up on a garden and we went to a tattoo/piercing shop where we got pierced. We talked for hours until evening, and he invited me to eat pizza at his place with his dad lol. It was super late by then, and I lived far far away, so we slept together just cuddling, nothing else. Since then we would meet each other every day. One time (6 months into the relationship) he rear ended another vehicle while going back home. So I decided to move closer to him, because the commute was getting to us. So I did. One week into the new lease, I had an accident and broke my ankle. So he decided that it was better for me to stay at his place to recover (bigger house, access to vehicles, and accessible in general). Three months and two surgeries after I decided it was time for me to go home, but he would convince me to "postpone just one more week" every time, and I would always oblige (I know the little doormat I sometimes am). And things would go like that until I hit the one year mark into that lease. And I said to him "or I move back home or I move definitely here, there's no middle therm", so I moved into his place. I offered to pay rent but he refused. Until this moment the relationship was perfect, his father also lived at that place, and we would always cook together, sing together, go for short trips, etc. But after a while I started to have symptoms of anxiety and depression. Until one day I had a panic attack by just sitting in front of my computer at work. I started to treat that and the doctors said I would have to stop work for a bit, because it was super serious (I don't want to go into too much details for that). At the beginning he was super supportive, but now I know that to have a relationship with someone w/ depression and anxiety it's super hard, 0/10 not recommend. So he and his friends started to be petty to me, and I noticed. One day me, him and his friend went for dinner and I got catchup for me. His friends started to berate me on how catchup is bad for my health and that I should stop using it. I simple replied that every time I see him he is smoking his cigarettes and I never said nothing. Or one time that his friend started to talk bad about gold digger women and insinuate that I was one, because I wasn't working. Before stopping to work I had a career in IT, while my bf had an assistant warehouse job, and I used to earn way more than him (that was never important to me before, honestly). So I said "I know I'm not working, but as soon as I get better I'll earn 4 times more than my bf, so your argument doesn't apply". Just wanted to point out that I had my savings, and I was living off it, paying for food, and other bills. My bf then was very mean and cold to me too, and at one point I asked "Do you want me to move out?" and he said "yes". "After that will you break up with me?" And he said "yes". So I activated my survival mode, and started to work my way into leaving. Between that, and getting a job, I started to pack my things quietly, and applying for jobs. All that while mourning the relationship. For him, I was doing nothing, but I was actually already in the way of signing a new lease, going to interviews and packing my things (and hiding in the house), I wanted to just disappear, I felt humiliated to not be able to leave in the next day after that talk. One day he went after me for sex, and I said "don't be like that, I feel like a piece of meat", he answered "so I'm going downstairs to get some salt then", and from that moment on, all the good feelings I had were replaced by disgust and disdain. A couple days after he asked me what I was going to do on next weekend, because he would go on a trip and wouldn't be home, and I said "nothing". I actually went to help the landlord to clean and paint the new place, since I wanted it to be ready ASAP. And I could move in next Wednesday. When I broke the news to him, he looked surprised and said "already??". So I kinda moved all out in less than a day. After that he would always go after me. I was 27 by then, and from that moment on the idea of a relationship would always make me sick. So I had the crazy teenager phase (since I always had long relationships before) and decided that I would be alone. I started to draw a plan to move to New Zealand, as far away from my ex possible and the plans didn't go through. But 3 years later I moved to Europe, my ex would always send messages saying he missed me, even when he was on a relationship, and in one of my birthdays he sent me a picture from his wallet with my picture in it. I replied politely, but I felt disdain honestly. We haven't talked in years now, honestly, and I'm alright with that. I was single for 7 years icking the idea of going through all that again. Ok, so now, what's happening? I'm 34 now, and I have my cute sweet new boyfriend, and every time he comes here to sleep with me I dream that I sneak out the bed to sleep with my ex. Even though I would never do that, even if he was in other bed next to us. I always feel guilty and dirty, like I'm cheating. I spend the days thinking that I should tell my bf, but I don't want to hurt him. All I feel for my ex is disdain and ick. But I feel like I'm hiding something. What do I do?
TL;DR!: Every time my bf sleeps over, I dream that I sneak out of the bed to go to sleep with my ex, and my brain thinks I'm cheating.

I'm at my wits end, somehow I often have trouble making pizza.
After the dough is ready and I can shape the pizza, things often go wrong, or holes appear, or I can't get it onto the pizza peel properly, and to make matters worse, if those two steps are successful, then what happens is it then happens that the pizza and ingredients do not come off my pizza peel when I am at my pizza oven.
Who can PLEASE help me, I'm at my wits end. This shouldn't and couldn't be that difficult, right?
My dough is (I don't think there's anything wrong with that, this is from the internet and everyone is very pleased with it).
153grams 00 flour (1 cup plus 1 tablespoon)
153grams all-purpose flour (1 cup plus 1 tablespoon and 2 teaspoons)
8 grams fine sea salt (1 teaspoon)
2 grams active dry yeast (¾ teaspoon)
4 grams extra-virgin olive oil (1 teaspoon)
Step 1 In a large mixing bowl, combine flours and salt.
Step 2 In a small mixing bowl, stir together 200 grams (a little less than 1 cup) lukewarm tap water, the yeast and the olive oil, then pour it into flour mixture. Knead with your hands until well combined, approximately 3 minutes, then let the mixture rest for 15 minutes.
Step 3 Knead rested dough for 3 minutes. Cut into 2 equal pieces and shape each into a ball. Place on a heavily floured surface, cover with dampened cloth, and let rest and rise for 3 to 4 hours at room temperature or for 8 to 24 hours in the refrigerator. (If you refrigerate the dough, remove it 30 to 45 minutes before you begin to shape it for pizza.)
Step 4 To make pizza, place each dough ball on a heavily floured surface and use your fingers to stretch it, then your hands to shape it into rounds or squares. Top and bake.

I work in a small business gas station that sells hunt brothers pizza. There is just ONE customer who gives us real problems consistently. On any given shift there are 2 people working, 1 on register and one on pizza duty. Its a busy day of course (friday), we’re both buzzing around busy, i notice her name on an order sheet. Turn to coworke, “oh God its her, that bitch is crazy as a shithouse rat.” Nearly EVERY time she comes into the store she’s offended at something. I have a migraine and dont sound too chipper? she gets offended. I have the wrong look on my face? Offended. Its like she just comes there to torture me, why tf would you keep coming back if you just don’t like me?! Everyone else likes me plenty, hell when I’m not there people ask about me “is he okay? Etc etc” Well she gets her order already has an attitude, opens them up “THESE IS BURNT”. Okay let me look, uhh ma’am i dont believe theyre burnt, the top layer of this cheese pizza is crisped a little its perfectly normal and the thin crust is supposed to be crispy. She leaves, comes right back, “I TOOK A BITE AND IT TASTED BURNT”. Puts the pizza down on the counter as she didnt want them. Atp she’s getting really pissy and starting to yell and cuss. We tell her it will be a little wait, im saying aloud i really dont think there’s anything wrong and if we make another theyll be the same. She says im talking shit and threatens to beat our asses. On the way to throw them away, i take a bite of one of them, its fine. Put it in box and throw it away. Ended up refunding her and told her to leave. She called my boss and VASTLY exaggerated what actually happened and made us seem like the assholes of course. So i talk to my boss tell him everything says hes gonna watch the cameras on monday which is great because we were talking mad shit when she left but oh well. He was worried about legal action, no fucking way anything shed try would fly in court. She tried to tell him i ate a slice of her pizza in her face (i was all the way across the store) that she still wanted (she didn’t) and threw it in the box out of spite to prove it wasnt burnt or some shit. Fml i hate here

I’m a 23-year-old guy from India, and I’m reaching out here because I really need some advice and emotional support. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for over two years now. She’s 22 and lives in the USA, so we’re in a long-distance relationship. This is my second relationship. My first girlfriend tragically passed away in a car accident, which left a huge void in my life. Finding love again was something I never thought possible, but then I met my current girlfriend, and she brought light back into my world.
For the first year and a half, our relationship was nothing short of perfect. Despite the distance, we managed to stay deeply connected. We would talk for hours, sharing every little detail about our days. I felt truly happy and content, knowing I had someone who cared for me just as much as I cared for her.
However, things have taken a drastic turn recently, and I feel increasingly neglected and unheard. About three weeks ago, my girlfriend started working as a cashier at a pizza shop. She has a co-worker there who, in the beginning, didn’t concern me because I trust her deeply. But lately, his behavior and their interactions have been making me uncomfortable.
She often talks about how much fun he is, how he’s always pulling pranks and making everyone laugh. While I’m glad she’s enjoying her job, it’s hard not to feel uneasy. Last Thursday, they went to a pool party together. My girlfriend didn’t know anyone else there except for this co-worker who invited her. She told me he was dragging her into the water and they spent a lot of time playing together. She described it as a great time, but what bothers me the most is that she never mentioned she was going to this party. I only found out the next day when I was telling her how sick I felt.
This incident hit me hard. I feel like my boundaries aren’t being respected. I’ve always been loyal to her, never going out with other girls or allowing any girl to get close to me because I value our relationship and her trust. But even setting aside my worries about her co-worker, I feel like I’m not getting the emotional support I desperately need.
A few days ago, I had a severe panic attack. I texted her, pouring out my feelings, telling her how my heart was racing, I couldn’t breathe properly, I was sweating profusely, and feeling extremely anxious. Her response was, “Damn, that’s pretty bad.” That was it. Her lack of empathy made me feel even worse, and I ended up crying. I felt so alone in that moment, even though I have someone who’s supposed to be there for me.
I understand that she’s had a rough past with her exes. She’s told me about her three exes who were all controlling and toxic, dictating what she could or couldn’t do, who she could talk to, and where she could go. I’ve always tried to be different, to give her the space and freedom she deserves. I don’t want to be like her exes. I don’t want to be controlling or make her feel trapped. But this situation is tearing me apart.
There’s always been a communication gap between us. We’ve talked about it multiple times, and she agreed to be more open about her feelings and what she’s doing. But this change only lasted for a few days before things went back to how they were. I feel like I’m always the one reaching out, sharing my life, and trying to keep the connection alive, but I don’t get the same in return. I tell her everything because I want her to feel reassured, knowing how much I love her and that I’m loyal. But I don’t get the same level of transparency and support from her.
I’m not asking for complete access to her life. I just need some reassurance. I need to feel like I can trust her, but without proper communication, it’s incredibly hard. I’m a human being, and I need some form of reassurance to feel secure in our relationship. Knowing about something as simple as her plans, like going to a pool party with her co-worker, would make a world of difference to me.
Whenever something significant happens in my life, whether good or bad, she’s the first person I want to tell. But it feels like she doesn’t have the same desire to share her life with me. I feel like I’m not being listened to, and it’s taking a heavy toll on my mental health. I’ve had multiple panic attacks because of this, feeling lost and helpless.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I love her with all my heart, but I don’t like how I’m feeling. How can I communicate my feelings without sounding controlling? How can I get the emotional support I need without making her feel pressured? I’m scared of losing her, but I can’t continue feeling this way.
I desperately need advice on how to handle this situation. Any insight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Pf has really gotten cheap at my location. Staff get ripped off benefits, ghost crew, one person working nights. They then get into trouble for not completing there cleaning tasks. The trainers are going from full time to part time. No pizza days, bagels, or little tootsie rolls. They are hiring students on visas that can only work a certain amount if hours and cutting back or getting rid of some of the long time staff. I worked at one before and it breaks my heart seeing how everyone of the staff are being treated .

everyday. EVERY day im with my mom... it feels like a battle. she is always finding some way to attack me and im just not able to handle it anymore. she is the reason why ive started cutting, more than half a year ago, and tonight was just. too much. i was trying to have fun, hanging out with my friend over but every interaction with my mom was with her yelling at me and chewing me out about something. she always puts such a negative light over me and is just so dehumanizing and dramatic. i was home alone today and in the morning i was told to retrieve a package from the post office. well, i forgot to do that and when my mom arrives home and enters, "why the fuck didnt you get the package from the office!? that is extremely rude, you were told to do one thing!" and i had been having a good day, alone, until she got there. and the rest of the night was just a drag. i tried to have fun with my friend, which we did, but my mom just kept getting mad at me for little things. when it was dinner time, i let her know that the pizza had arrived. i fixed a few slices for me and my friend and my mom came in a few minutes later and asked if i did the cats litter and then asked if i did the trash without giving me time to respond and then said "uh. yeah. i didnt think so." and just really strained my good mood. later while we ate, she was on the couch behind me while she did her nails or something. she made a noise and i thought i could lighten the mood, so i turned slowly and raised my eyebrow real high as a funny face. and then she got mad at me again, and later said i "dead-ass glaired her in the face for no reason." even after i explained that i wasnt glaring, it was a funny face and i was just trying to lighten the tension. later, my friend left and i walked back in and i grabbed my switch i had left in the living room and the wired controller i had and started to bring it into my room and she yelled again, "what the heck do you think your doing!? do i need to run the RULES by you again!?" i am 16 and personally have no interest in playing video games past 10:30, especially noting that i have insomnia and already have a lot of sleeping problems, i told her that its been in my room for the past two years and i havent played it once past the time i went to bed and she got onto me once again and so i handed it to her and asked her to put it in the couch consol so the cats wouldnt get it(which she rester her elbow on) and she said "NUH-UH, no sir! you better walk your ass around the couch and put it up yourself!" and she tossed it back at me and i did just that and. .. i think that was the edge for me because i really wanted to get all of that anger and rage out of my body and i just didnt say a thing and walked into my room, brushed my teeth, and here i am.
tl;dr: i cant handle the way my mom treats me and it has led me to self-harming tendencies and i just dont know how to not freak out because of her behaviour.
sorry for this stupid vent... im too tired to re-read it an edit, but i will be here tomorrow... please, i just would like some advice for handling these situations. thank you for reading

59M, weight - 147lbs, BMI - 22, body fat - 16% (DEXA scan)
Just got results from my blood work and the cholesterol numbers were better than expected. I got a lot of tips here, so paying it forward. I haven't eaten mammals for 3 decades - only fish and chicken. I am also mildly pre-diabetic, so making changes for that also including no snacking especially in the evenings and very little alcohol.
May 2024

• ApoB - 66mg/dL
• LDL-C - 83

Dec 2023

• ApoB - 79
• LDL-C - 112

Oct 2023 -> read Outlive by Peter Attia

• ApoB - 102
• LDL-C - 122

May 2023

• ApoB - didn't know what is was then
• LDL-C - 137

These are some of my diet changes. I also exercise quite a lot, but that doesn't really move the needle in the numbers above. With the diet changes and exercise, I lost about 6lbs of all fat (checked with DEXA scan).
Food added

• about 10g physillium husk with whey protein powder for breakfast along with oatmeal and either flax or chia seeds
• Lots of spinach
• Nuts, especially walnuts which I like
• More avocados
• Cooking with extra virgin olive oil or avocado oil rather then sunflower oil
• 0% milk rather than 1% or 2%
• 0% Greek yogurt
• Lots of spinach and salmon
• Egg whites
• Berberine (1,000mg) as a supplement for my pre-diabetes (might help here too, no idea)
• Flaxseed crackers (from Trader Joes)

Food that has been cut back a lot

• Ice cream
• Cheese, except for occasional pizza
• Chocolate
• Egg yokes, just eat whites (buy in carton like milk)
• Cookies

Hope this can help someone out :-) Big diet changes are an alternative to statins for some people.
Testing for ApoB is very cheap in the US ($15.05 at ownyourlabs.com who use LabCorp)

Hello! Before I should start I should say that I'm aware the answer is probably to see a physician/psychologist (I see a therapist/psychiatrist regularly) but this diagnosis only occurred to me very recently. This post is inquisitive, but I thought it would be helpful to lay out my thoughts in one concise post that I could revisit later. I appreciate any insights people will have!
I guess I had been wondering if I had autism ever since my ex-partner got diagnosed with autism as an adult. She's been the person who I got along with the easiest, and definitely the one romantic interest who I felt I could meaningfully and easily talk to. I've definitely copied her traits (I serially copy strong personality traits of all people who I'm close with) so I chalked it up to that, but it still nagged at me. More recently I asked my friends if I was on the spectrum, and they emphatically said yes. I was kind of surprised at how convinced they were, and honestly I still can't tell if they were being serious or not. This lead me to ask some information from my mother and reflect on my life experiences. I've already been diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, and over the past few months I've had a major depressive episode.
Supporting evidence:
As a child, I didn't meet several developmental milestones. I was also incredibly susceptible to ear infections, and had one pretty much the entire time for the first year of life (24 different antibiotics in one year). I had issues with speech production and coordination, and had to be put in speech therapy for years. I also had lack of fine motor control, which caused my mom to delay putting me in kindergarten for a year. I didn't start using complete sentences and extended speech until I was three years old. My mom told me that I would pick up certain words and drop them after a while before I started using sentences. My doctor wanted to test me for autism as a child because I was monologuing about a toy and wouldn't shut up about it. My parents didn't do that because they were convinced I didn't have autism, since I was "bright". Interestingly, many family members who I've talked to are absolutely convinced my grandfather has autism, and wondered if me and my father had it.
Growing up, I've always found it hard to socialize. I had trouble starting and keeping conversations, and I would frequently latch on to one topic and it would be hard to get me off of it. My parents attributed this to me being a late bloomer; internally, I just had no idea what to do. I think very analytically, so unless I was talking to solve a problem or analyze something I didn't really see any need to. I certainly wanted to be great at being social, and my dad pushed me to be outgoing. I also had problems analyzing body language. My mom told me when she would get mad I wouldn't react and would just keep doing the thing that annoyed her; this is because I frequently conflate angry expressions with excited expressions. I still have issues recognizing body language in people, and socially I feel greatly improved in some ways, but very lacking in others (I love meeting new people, but I'm terrible at making small talk). Whenever I try to talk my speech comes across as meandering and disorganized, but when I write I feel like I can order my thoughts much better.
I've always had a strong need and love for repetition. I can't really recall any examples from childhood (Other than replaying the same level of halo 3 nearly every night, the Covenant [the best one]), but currently I have tons of repetitive behaviors. I take the same route to a location even if there's a quicker one, I've listened to the same seven songs for nearly 5 years, and I have a range of internal scenes and phrases that have played in my head for years nearly every day. I have some specific hobbies that I am very attached to like dnd, and I have a hard time adding new interests in some areas. I'm very good about trying new foods, but I'm still a very picky eater for my regular foods for instance. I also have a lot of repetitive hand and leg motions that I use, sometimes without even noticing. I find it satisfying to make, repeat, and slightly change patterns of movement. I've noticed my dad use these a lot as well.
I think I might have sensory issues? It's difficult to tell because I'm the master of worrying about medical diagnosis and making too much out of a particular feeling. But I am very picky about my foods since I judge them nearly entirely based off of texture rather than taste. I actually really enjoy pizza that has the texture of cardboard for instance; most people seem to use that as an insult, but I really like that texture. I despise sludgy textures like mashed potatoes. I am hypersensitive to bitter things; I cannot eat milk chocolate due to it's bitter aftertaste, and I can't stand coffee even with mountains of creamer in it. Any other kind of flavor is secondary though. I'm very sensitive to loud noises; if I'm around them too long I get upset, and I avoid crowded areas because of the noise. I think in general I receive a lot of satisfying sensory feedback through touch (and vision of course), and I tend to ignore smell and hearing feedback.
This point is harder to articulate, but I don't really feel like a person a lot of the times. I can't isolate a trait that I have which isn't taken or inspired by someone else; I have a strong sense of right and wrong because I grew up reading Percy Jackson and I tried to emulate the hero's in those books. I copy individual traits and phrases from people that I like. Whenever I dance, I constantly look around me for moves other people are doing and replicate them with slight changes. I know it's normal to change who we are based on the people around us and our experiences, but I feel detached from myself as a person. I think of myself like a third party observer, and I constantly feel dissociated from the world around me. Whenever I interact with people, it feels like I'm adopting a suitable personality for the right situation to accomplish a goal, not being myself. I have an extremely rigid and logical way of thinking that bleeds into everything I do. Whenever I watch a movie I am mentally incapable of simply enjoying it; I have to analyze and dissect it (which is fun for me!).
Oh, I talked with my therapist during the most recent session, told him everything, and he said I'm probably on the autism spectrum, but we should discuss it more next meeting. He said I had a lot of little bits and pieces of other diagnosis, but when viewed through this lens it would explain a lot of my behaviors.
Counterarguement: All of this could just be my social anxiety, lol. I've been going through a really stressful time in my life right now, and mental health has been utter garbage. I wonder if I'm reading in too much into my behaviors, trying to make stuff fit to achieve a diagnosis. I suppose my post here is just more of that tbh; my bias is definitely to receive feedback that I'm likely autistic, because it would put my struggles into perspective and give me relief. But I have a strong desire to be as objective as possible, so I don't want people to tell me yes just because it's what I want to hear.
There's more to write, but I feel this post is long enough as is. I've done a lot of reading about autism in the past few weeks, but that's not the same as talking with people who are autistic. Thank you for reading this long ass post, and I apologize for any typos/offensive mistakes I may have inadvertently made. Tell me what they are and I will edit them. Thank you for your time.

Title may seem like if i’m spoiled but that’s not the case here,, I F(14) and Mom F(36) have been fighting the past couple years about birthdays. I at first didn’t mind my birthdays, they were cute and family oriented i couldn’t ask for anything better. But once I turned 11 my mom stopped caring about my birthdays. It made me feel mad and sad because all i would see is my mom trying her hardest for my siblings then try nothing for me. We are a family of 5 My mom, Dad, Sister, And little brother. (including me makes 5) We are a wealthy family,, so being financially unstable isn’t a thing for us.
Last year My mom made my brother a birthday party at incredible pizza. It’s a big arcade with a buffet and it has some attractions like a small rollercoaster and stuff like that. I had fun at the party,, my brother had millions of gifts, all his friends came, all the family came, he had a custom cake, candy boxes themed of pokémon, and more. It was the perfect party. My brother (M7 at the time) was so happy. And i’m happy for him too!! i had so much fun and it was amazing. my mother has a habit of going all out for my little brother because i will admit,, we aren’t a happy family and me and my sister suffer most of my parents fights, trauma, and more. So my mom tends to try and change for my brother.
Flash forward to my sisters birthday (she’s my older sister BY A YEAR KEEP THIS IN MIND) She was turning 15 my parents planned a surprise trip for her,, i was expecting texas? maybe a close by trip?.. No. she went all out. Meaning our family had NEVER gone on a plane before and she booked a plane ride ALL SEATS FIRST CLASS. Not only that.. WE WERE GOING TO NEW YORK. In my opinion the MOST expensive state i’ve heard. Then we stayed in new york for a week or two.. EXPENSIVE. my sister got to pick somewhere to eat.. THAT HAD TO BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE and FANCY restaurant EVER. Everyone got expensive food and all i was allowed to get were FRENCH FRIES. I got angry at my family and didn’t talk throughout the whole dinner. Not to mention my aunt and her girlfriend were invited,, they came to the trip for my sister (keep that in mind) and they didn’t acknowledge me. i wanted to be included so bad but they didn’t even want to try and talk to me. The bill ended up being OVER 2k and it was absurd. my parents paid for it with no complaining or issues. Then i made my sister a birthday cake because they didn’t get her one so i surprised her with a “cake” made out of cherry donuts. her favorite. i spent all my money on it just for her to feel special and blow out some candles. I showed her it and she just rejected it and said “no it’s ugly i can’t post on social media.” i was almost crying. maybe tearing up? i put so much thought into it just for her to reject it like that.
my sisters birthday is on the 15th mines on the 27th. I asked my mom if i could have a birthday dinner with all my family because i wanted them over. (by that i meant my cousins family) and she said yes and that she would invite them. I was so excited to have them go with me i even invited like five friends. I was so excited. i moved my birthday dinner to some days later because it was on a thursday. so i moved it to a saturday so everyone can come. The day comes and one, the family i wanted over doesn’t come, none of my friends come and in sitting alone at the table cuz my family doesn’t like the restaurant so i got left there waiting. i spent my birthday alone. When i got home i was so pissed and yelled at my family for not even being there for me on my day. they said i was being selfish and rude so i got grounded. I didn’t care i was mad and cried in my room. This year my brother yet again got a big party. My sister is getting A CAR. and i don’t even know what im getting because somehow my birthday we are always in a financial situation or “just get a cake” I yelled at my sister and mom for being rude to me either way because it’s unfair my sister gets all these things. My mom said it’s because she’s older. I don’t see a difference because it’s just a year. it’s not different whatsoever. I said i wanted a trip to be special too and my mom said we can’t because “we don’t have anywhere fun they want to go.” my auntie i asked her if she wanted to go to japan with me and my family, her and her girlfriend responded with “sure but we’re only going for the trip” I feel so heartbroken and angry i keep wanting to argue and have a good birthday but im never gonna get a good birthday. i’m PISSED. I don’t know what to do. AITAH for wanting a big birthday party??