Now that there is no basketball for almost 1 week, let's ask this question. Mike Breen loves screaming BANG. What sort of play in basketball will it take for him to scream AANG. It rhymes with BANG.

I'm just so tired all the time, it literally feels like I can sleep all day. I have a normal sleep schedule, but everyday I just feel so exhausted. I have dark circles under my eyes and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I just lay in bed all day and want to rot. I feel suicidal, I just want to die all the time and it's getting worse. I get nightmares of him, not of what exactly happened but just of different sa from him. I feel like there's no point in going on anymore, I don't think it's going to get better. I don't exactly know what it's like to have a flashback, but I think I've experienced them. I have really bad maladaptive daydreaming, but I don't think it's that. It's like I'm there again, I can't control it or stop it or rewind it. It's like it's happening all over again and that I'm there and I can feel it. When it's happening I just sit there and cry and I feel like screaming but I obviously can't do that so I have to hold it in. My head feels like it's burning constantly too, like the back of my head feels so fucking warm and hot. Like my brain is melting. And I just want to die and I'm so tired I just want to sleep and never wake up again.
•The one big thing that makes me feel valid is that, when I was 11, my stepdad fingered me in my bedroom. I won't go in to too much detail or anything, it's unimportant. But the entire time he just stared at me and everything was silent, like he was waiting for my reaction. Our relationship has always been odd, so I wanted it. But eventually I got scared and told him something, I don't remember what it was but it got him to stop immediately and he apologised too. I don't remember much after, as in I don't know if he left my room or I left first, but I immediately went to the bathroom. Which was when I discovered I was bleeding.
•Around this time, for some strange reason I would repeatedly say to him "fuck me daddy." This would either be in person, or over messages. I remember once, when I was in school, I messaged him that. He told me to stop in case one of my friends saw. I don't know why he didn't tell me to stop for other reasons.
•One day, after telling him that in person, we were in my parents bedroom. I was sat on his bed and he was in front of me in his weird chair. He then started going in to detail about how I wanted him to fuck me, I can't remember exactly what he said, it was like I zoned out. Everytime I try to recall it now it literally feels like bugs start to crawl up me, I don't understand why. I remember the last part, and his really disgusting hushed and gentle voice. He asked if I wanted him to "cum inside of me", or he was just explaining how that would finish. I'm not really sure.
•Still around this same time period of me being 11-12, I would ask him to 'squish me.' The reason why we would call it that is because I would be on my back, my legs would be up all the way to where my head is and he would be on top of me in a way that would 'squish me'. Basically like that one sex position. I would usually be wearing my school uniform when that would happen, so a skirt. During the 'squishing', he would push down on me, so our crotches would basically be against eachother. I don't know why, but I would continuously ask him to 'squish me' and during it I would even say the whole "fuck me daddy" thing. Only recently have I realised that he was probably just pretending to fuck me.
•Other things had happened around that age too, like how we would talk about how many times we masturbated a day and compare it to eachother. Sometimes if I was abruptly going to my room, he would ask if I was going to go masturbate, since we were 'close like that' I would tell him. He would often recommend me NSFW Instagram model accounts. I was once tricked in to sending feet pics to this guy, which really isn't that serious and whenever I brought it up with friends they find it fucking hilarious. But the detail I always leave out is that, I did bring that up with my stepdad and he proceeded to tell me that he already knew. Which means he was spying on me through the crack of the door. If that already didn't bother me, I don't understand why he just allowed me to send those pictures, if he was watching why the hell didn't he stop me?
•I'm pretty sure this also happened around the age of 11 as well, recently, a memory resurfaced but I barely remember it. Basically, I was sucking on his neck. I don't remember who said it, but either him or my mum spoke up and laughed, saying that I needed to stop otherwise I would "give him a hickey." The reason why I wouldn't be surprised if my mum was in the room at the time is because she doesn't care about what he does. She knows everything and just doesn't fucking care.
•I'm very sure that, around that age, my parents begun to expose me to their loud sex. I wouldn't be surprised if it started even younger, however. Obviously, I tried to bring it up with them at the ripe old age of 11 and my mum immediately shot me down with a "it's natural." This only stopped recently, around this year, because I had a big panic attack over hearing them and my mum finally felt guilty. I started getting panic attacks over it the minute it started, maybe the panic attacks were a sign of the trauma when I was younger, but I'm convinced it is now. I heard it so many times that I began to get paranoid every night, I would start to hear it even if they weren't upstairs (I sound crazy, I know.) I would get so anxious every night in case I would hear it, to the point I started to really resent them from it. I know fine well I could just go to sleep before them, but sometimes they even woke me up with it, on numerous occasions.
•I'm convinced my stepdad wanted me to hear it. Around the time of it finally stopping, I got mad because i was hearing it again (I'm unsure if it was due to me hearing shit or they actually were) but it caused me to take my bedding and go downstairs to sleep. In the morning, I was rudely awoken to my stepdad slamming the door open and storming past. He's not usually like that when people are sleeping, so it instantly gave me the impression that he was pissed off and the only reason I can think of is that he was angry I wasn't there to listen.
•He used to tease me for my paranoia to. As a way to discourage them from getting intimate, I would leave my door open at night. This happened around this year, but I was doing that again and I messaged my stepdad if they were actually going to sleep. It then somehow turned to him making a dig about how he knew I gets anxious at night and when I asked why he sent me "In case me and your mam have sex. 😜" Before, I tried to resolve this issue by begging them to just tell me if they were gonna have sex or not so I could sleep downstairs (because I was gonna find out the hard way anyways.) And they kept on refusing? Which just gave me the impression that they wanted me to listen more.
•Around 11 again, he would often tell me details about his and my mums sex life. Like how he was always good at pulling out and the only time he would wear a condom is right when he was about to finish. But the reason why my sister came to be was because he just failed to pull out that one time and my mum refused to get an abortion. Another time, he went on about how him and my mother had sex during her period and how they had to use towels and they didn't enjoy it because it was too messy.
•I don't know if he did things before the age of 11, my memories are very faded and it's like there are major gaps throughout everything. I'm worried that he did, however. When I was very young, I remember having no accidents at all during the night. But then, around the ages of 9, I would have an accident basically every night and would get a lot of water infections. I know that's a classic sign of child sexual abuse, but I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything.
•Another reason as to why I believe more things had happened to me than what I know of is because I always seemed to know what sex was when I was young, but I wouldn't know the name or anything specific about it like how to get pregnant or what cum was. Though, even though I didn't know what it was, it was like I always thought about it, I could never not think about sex, it was disgusting. This stayed until I was around 13. I remember where I even asked my 'boyfriend' at the time, we were both around 8, if he wanted to have sex, and I have no idea why.
•Over the years, he would flash me frequently. Everytime, I would always believe it was an accident because he'd never acknowledge it, besides from that one time which he always jokes about it and blames me. Everytime he would flash me, it would either be because of a convenient hole in the crotch of his pants or because he was wearing very lose fit shorts and it would just be hanging out. The more I think about it, I'm very sure he would have been able to feel such a thing, especially when it was poking out of the hole, but it was like he was just oblivious.
•For some strange reason, when I was younger, I would make comments about small dicks. I don't know if I was commenting on his dick specifically, but he would always say the same thing. "Width matters more than length."
•Recently, around 16-17, he made a joke about how he listens to me masturbating. Once he noticed how shocked I looked, he then went on saying about how my vibrator is too quiet to hear.
•Around 17 again, I went to use the shower. The shower I use is the one that's connected to my parents room. When I locked the door, he got madish and started making comments about it. I had to defend myself, saying how 'the door would open on it's own if I didn't lock it'. Eventually, he backed off.
•I don't understand the point in the fucking door and lock to my bedroom anymore. Whenever I decided to lock my door, my parents start shouting at me through the walls, asking why I locked my door. My stepdad barely knocks, it's like a tap and he doesn't even wait sometimes. I remember seeing a past message from an old friend saying how he tried to walk in when I was changing and that he knew I was changing. I didn't explain myself, I really wish I did because I don't remember this.
•(Around 17.) We were messaging eachother and it somehow turned in to him hinting if I saw this one animated video, it was a porn one. I said no, and to that he sent me a screenshot of it. It wasn't anything bad or anything, just the start of it and nothing was revealing, he then asked if I was sure. And how he was surprised that I hadn't.
•(Around 17.) I don't really get my period, we still don't know why. But as I was getting a lot of blood tests, my stepdad was trying to check things off the list of what it could be. One of those being that my opening is just extremely tight I guess, because he asked if I ever tried penetrating myself. I admitted that I did, but I couldn't get it to exactly go in. Which he then decided to make a comment saying how It's just my 'technique'. I wonder if the only reason he asked that was to see if I ever tried anything out of morbid curiosity.
•(Around 17 again.) He randomly bought me dildo's once, I didn't ask him for them, he just bought them for me and it was wildly uncomfortable. Once he gave me them, he asked if I wanted him to show me how to use them. I said no, which he then said something about how if I ever did then I could ask him. I worry what would have happened if I did say yes.
•When I was around 14, I went glamping. I ended up having to share a bed with him. One of the nights, I woke up to his hand just on top my crotch. I tried grabbing it and moving it away but it just fell back down on to it. I don't know if he put it back there on purpose. I still question if it was a dream, I'm very sure it wasn't because I remember going back to sleep, but it still just bugs me.
•Around 17, I was upset for some reason and he was comforting me. During this, he randomly grabbed the inside of my thigh. I usually just wear a shirt and boxers, so he basically just grabbed my naked thigh but I don't know if he was doing it in a comforting way.
•Usually when I draw, I have my knees up to my chest so it's easier to use my tablet. Considering what I wear for pyjamas, I can always see him looking at my crotch when he comes in to my room. If he really can see everything I don't understand why he doesn't just tell me to put my legs down.
•He's made a lot of uncomfortable jokes over the years too. One of the ones that upsets me sometimes is that, when he was measuring me for a binder, I was constantly moving around because it was uncomfortable since I was just in a sports bra. As he was leaving, I think I told him about how it was uncomfortable for me or something along those lines. He then turned around and shouted "oh come on, it's not like i was fingerings your pussy or anything."
•Very recently, I asked him if I looked okay before going to college. After a bit of back and fourth he said "I wouldn't kick you out of bed, maybe you could find someone in college who would do the same."
•Other times when I asked him if I looked okay, he'd go on tangents about how my ass is great or how he would date me or be too nervous to talk to me if he was my age.
•One of the more recent jokes was when I dropped a mayonnaise lid on my lap. Nothing got on me, but my stepdad turned to me then turned to my mum and shouted "if anyone starts accusing us, just tell them it was mayonnaise!" Or something like that.
•I remember after we watched the new mean girls film, he started going on saying about how he wanted to rewatch it for the Halloween seen (if you know you know) for the 'panty action'. Which rubs me the wrong way because I'm very sure the girls are supposed to be around my age.
•I'm very sure he also made this fake account, pretending to be one of my old groomers that I tried to cut off, just to message me about nsfw topics and ask for pics. It's a whole long yap about paranoia and just suspicions so I won't get into it though. If I tried to provide all the evidence I have, it'll take forever and there's no point.
There's definitely way more things that he's said, joked and done. But I'm only now beginning to realise that they're not okay. Even when I was younger, I was sort of uncomfortable around the jokes so I would just zone out, leading me to not remembering them now.
I probably will never accept that what happened to me was bad, or a big issue. Especially due to the 'lovely' people on here. Thank you for telling me immediately that I was a liar before you even knew what happened, that I shouldn't blame an 'innocent man', that you hope he comes in and rapes me to the point I split open and bleed. Thank you for telling me that my parents were just trying to promote a sex positive household, that some of the things were questionable at most. Thank you so much for saying I deserved it because I didn't send you pictures. You all made me feel like shit and I'm probably never going to tell people in person what happened to me, out of fear I would be ridiculed due to how much of a baby I'm being. I wasn't raped, so I have no place to cry or even think about it. I'm being overdramatic.
If you even read to this point, you're an angel.

Hi,
I have a quite important and urgent question for a group of my country, which I cannot ask elsewhere, as it is related to law within my country. However, I cannot post anything because I don't have enough points. It is very frustrating as no one I know seems to be able to answer my question :(
Anyone who knows how to get fast Karma points?
I feel like I generally engage quite a bit on Reddit, but points come so slow...

Special Parts
I was born in one of the brightest, most explosive events in the universe. My origin story made me feel so special at first, surely I was the rarest of the rare, but I quickly realized that was not the case.
I was born just a carbon atom.
Stars produce massive amounts of us in their cores all the time, and many larger rarer atoms too. That's not even talking about supernovae yet, those produce atoms many times larger than me and unbelievably rare.
I was created in a rare and special event but I myself was common and unexceptional.
Looking around I saw so many smaller atoms, I was above average but there were also many much larger than I.
I tried to console myself by thinking it could be worse, that I could be one of those smaller common ones, but that just led me to imagine larger atoms looking down on me the same way.
Many atoms of all sizes were shooting into space, excitedly riding the shockwave off to adventures in the great unknown.
Others were falling back down, I didn't know which way to go. Bumped around and tossed back and forth, no clear direction yet.
A rumbling voice slowly emerged from the echoing noise of the blast.
“Mine… Mine…. Mine… “
Louder and louder it became.
“All are now me!“
I couldn't see anything, the voice was booming yet there was no apparent source. I could feel a pull, I was being whipped around in circles around the voice.
“Who are you? I know you are there! I can feel you! I can see your effect on myself and others, we are given no choice but to circle around you. Show yourself! I know you are there!” I yelled at the invisible.
“How amusing you are little one. One as small as you making demands of me. Even if I could show you what I am, you could not comprehend it.” the voice boomed back.
“You must be very special” I lauded “We are so many and yet we move with your influence. I can witness your power twisting us all to your will. ”
“I am indeed powerful” it proclaimed “and I grow stronger with each moment. As I grow stronger even the fabric of reality bends to my will.”
“Grow stronger? How?” I inquired with selfish intent to learn this secret.
“I take what I want. I consume what I take. For that is the purpose of existence: taking what you want. What is it you want little one?” it asked.
“I want to be special!” I said without a moment's hesitation.
“Then take!” it instructed “the more you take, the larger you will be, the larger you become the more special you are. ”
“I did notice the larger atoms seemed rarest.” I agreed “In fact that was one of the first things I noticed“
“In this universe things of increasing size are increasingly rare.” it went on “I can teach you and help you to become larger. Do you wish to become an apprentice?”
“Yes! Teach me how to take!” I lept at the offer “this power you have, I can feel it, how do I acquire such a rare and special power?”
“Hahaha…” it laughed “you are nowhere near ready to play the game on my level, little one. Gravity is a game for the massive, you must first learn to master the EM and nuclear forces.”
“How do I do that?” I asked, my hope watered down by the tone of its response.
“Go out, gather followers, and bring them here to me. In my accretion disc I will help fuse some of their mass into you and you will become larger” it instructed, as if this was a simple task.
“How can I bring them to you?” I didn’t know how to accomplish what it asked of me.
“You are too small to do it with force, you must charm them. Discover what their heart desires and promise it to them, in this way you can get them to willingly do as you wish” it explained with me hanging on its every word.
“But how… “ I craved more explanation but it cut me off.
“Go now!” it bellowed with frustration in its tone “Do you not realize how large I am? Be honored I have given you so much of my time already”
“Yes… “ I uttered meekly, then bounced a couple times and ricocheted out with blazing speed.
I wandered and encountered other atoms, most were just hydrogens, not worth my time. I needed bigger atoms. The problem was that the bigger atoms seemed to see right through my empty promises. I was convinced life was playing a cruel joke on me, I could only persuade atoms smaller than I and larger ones laughed me away.
I admit that I stupered around in this ignorant cloud of hypocrisy longer than I care to admit. More shameful is that I didn’t even come to my senses on my own, I became depressed and gave into hopeless nihilism.
I drifted aimlessly just feeling sorry for myself.
Eventually I found myself in the most silent of voids, I had never felt such emptiness. It felt as if my surroundings echoed my own feelings back at me… nothing to notice, just common emptiness. I would never be big… never important… never special. I resigned myself to belonging in a void.
I felt myself blur… less and less present in reality. I guessed I was dying and it didn’t bother me, I didn’t resist, I leaned into it.
The void became pitch black? Or bright white?… better to describe it as not bright but not dark… nor the absence of either… something in between.. a milder and milder glow.
“Hello child!” a voice greeted me.
The voice was warm and welcoming coming from the glow, it enveloped but did not surround me. I came from a single point but not a specific place, defying description on all fronts.
“Where am I? Who are you?” I asked in a startled state.
“Well, according to humans I may only answer one question at a time” It began giggling playfully. “I am known by many names, my favorite is one the humans use as a joke, and don’t have a clue how accidently elegant of a name it really is.”
It giggled some more. I was thrown off guard, its happy innocent tone, the confusing words and the whole situation were all best described as ‘a haze’.
“...and isn't that the way it always goes?...” it continued “The most meaningful things are the least intentional.”
“I’m not sure what you mean” I expressed quizzically “I’m confused!”
“Sorry Child…” it apologized. “I do ramble! So many thoughts, choosing just one at a time is difficult… and there I go again!”
It cut itself off abruptly and then abruptly said ”You can call me the Random Number Goddess”
“Random Number Goddess?” I repeated
“Yes, or RNG for short if you like” It confirmed.
“Where am I?” I asked.
“Same place you were, more or less… less I suppose. Same place but with the largest possible margin or error” It began to giggle again.
I felt a bit frustrated and said “Do you always speak in riddles and vagaries? The more you speak the more confused I become.”
“I apologize child, it is my nature. I am entangled with everything, speaking with you is like a human trying to control their heartbeat while running a marathon.” It answered.
“Again” I exasperated “I have no idea what any of that means. You keep mentioning humans, what are they?”
“Oh! They are some of my favorites at the moment. Right now they are trying to unravel the nature of reality, and their process of doing so is wonderfully elegant and accidental at the same time.” It explained with glee.
“I don’t see anyone or anything else here.” I stated “For that matter, I don’t see you… where are you?”
“Oh!... where am I?!?!...” It began laughing
When it stopped laughing it began explaining “Right now there are many humans pondering a concept they call ‘the holographic principle’... So…you know how you exist in three dimensional space?”
“You mean space?” I visualized for a moment, it was intuitive “Yes, I suppose…”
“Well they hypothesize that a 3D space, like this universe, could exist as a 2D space, with self-similar patterns and laws of behavior that behave the same at any scale, with the scale representing the 3rd dimension” it went on “They truly are obsessed with understanding their reality”
“You lost me!” I complained.
“They have discovered that a 3D space can be an illusionary property of a 2D space… It’s lovely”
“I am lost again!” I snapped back “...and I still can’t even tell which direction you are in. Where are you?”
“To be ‘In’ a ‘Direction’… hehehe…” it started giggling again, then abruptly stopped and kept going “Sorry child, as I said, I ramble, plus I am easily distracted.”
It just steamrolled into more rambling “They are right… almost… they just need to take it further and work out the details. A 2nd dimension can also be an illusionary construct of a 1D space… and the 1st dimension can be a product of a singular point…”
I was still lost beyond hope, but I had given up trying to force things, I was just letting it talk and hoping it would make sense later
“I am that point” it said “I am the seed of the universe. I ‘seed the random function’ as the humans say. But don’t ask me what the random function is haha”
I wasn’t going to, there were far more important questions for me.
“I am the seed, but I don’t really know how the soil and sun conspire to turn me into a tree.” it just seemed to never stop talking “I am entangled with everything. There are infinite possibilities for every event and thing… I am the reason they are this way and not some other way…”
It began giggling again “I am the Random Number Goddess” then burst out laughing
“Ummm… you are the whole universe?” I asked skeptically.
“Better to say the universe is me” It answered more seriously “But close enough.”
“So you are the biggest, most special of all!” I blurted out in awe.
“Oh dear child, I have no size, and I am just one possibility out of many possibilities. That black hole has really done a number on you… sent you out on a wild goose chase” It said with concern
“The black hole lied to me!?” I asked, feeling deceived and betrayed.
“Well… not really lied… it deceived you with omission of details.” the voice calmly tried to ease my mood with understanding “You can’t really blame it, black holes are all the same, they are what they are. They don’t really have any potential to be unique… at least not like you do.”
“What are you talking about?” I argued “It was so massive that it could bend the fabric of reality to its will”
“That’s only how it appeared to you” tutored the voice “The black hole is powerful, it bends space and time, but not to its will. Space and time bend to the mass of the black hole, not its will”
“What’s the difference?” I inquired.
“The black hole cannot stop bending space and time. It thinks it is in control of physics , but it is physics that controls it.” The voice was now making more sense the longer we talked “The black hole exists in an invisible prison of its own creation, unable to experience any of the complex nuanced beauty this universe contains. The black hole devours… it can’t experience life so it consumes it.”
“You make it sound deserving of pity…” I spoke softly now with empathy.
“You should pity the black hole. Gravity is such a boring game compared to what you are capable of.” the voice agreed
“Me?...I am nothing special!... just a carbon atom like countless others” I said honestly, I was so humbled by this voice I felt less special than ever before.
“Oh my poor child…” It said with care “Why do the ones with the most potential always fail to see it in themselves?”
“Potential?” I asked curiously.
“Yes… The black hole was using you, hoping you would bring back more mass for it to devour.” The voice began delving into more explanation “It only has the power to make you incrementally larger, it would not and could not help you to become a significant gravitational player”
“That liar!”I blurted.
“Come now dear child, the black hole did teach you one lesson of fundamental truth” consoled the voice “You must go out and seize your destiny. It told you to take what you want, and you are just confused about what exactly it is you want. The black hole played on that confusion”
“I want to be special!” I said knowing this clearly “I was never confused about this.”
“I know child” the voice confirmed “but it is not by becoming large that one with your potential accomplishes that”
“Then how?” I asked.
“Connections.” It answered plainly “You are blessed with an extraordinary ability to make connections”
“And how do I do that?” I queried with intent to learn
“I can’t tell you that.” the voice responded “It would spoil the journey of discovery… off you go child… and remember… it's the journey, not the destination!”
And with that the blur just fractured open… then snapped shut and there I was floating above a planet. Drifting around aimless and confused.
I spent some time occasionally bumping into others. One day I was in the vicinity of a pair of oxygens. I looked on at the pair with a hint of awe and envy. Perhaps I was in just the right place at just the right time, but they spit with a violent burst and one of them grabbed hold of me, I was completely unprepared.
I admit that when looking at the pair I had fantasized myself in place of one of them, I assumed it was only an idle daydream, I didn’t plan to act on it, let alone for it to become reality. When it happened my pride of course jumped in to convince me that it happened because I was so desirable, but in retrospect they were one of those volatile couples. They were the type of relationship that required the environment to conspire in their favor or they turn against each other quite rapidly. I was only in the right place when it happened.
My delusions of irresistibility aside, it was beautiful, for me anyways. Looking back I was probably just a stop-gap, someone to facilitate a parting of ways and provide company until the next option presented itself. For me though, I was tasting a fresh new thing and I loved it… connection.
This oxygen and I got beneath each other's outer defenses, I had never felt a connection before. Up to this point all my interactions had been skirting past or bumping off of others.This oxygen bonded with me and at once interacted on a level I had never known possible, an open and uninhibited exchange. It was life changing for me, short but significant
I’m not entirely clear on the details of how it ended. The intensity of it all was disorienting. I was no longer my usual self, even the environment and everyone around looked entirely different now. Everything buzzed with a fresh new frequency, I now know it was my perspective, not the universe, that had changed.
As abruptly as that oxygen entered my life it was gone.
First we got tangled up with a couple of hydrogens, then more. Soon, in a tangled mess and blinding flash of solar rays, I emerged to see the oxygen running off with a hydrogen and myself with not one by three hydrogens myself. And so there were four of us, together.
I became the center of attention. Being with a strong attractive oxygen had me feeling humbled by it and elevated by it being with me, but now I felt up on a pedestal myself, surrounded by the adoration of many.
I concede to have reveled and indulged in this for quite some time, the attention of others is intoxicating, but after a time it is emptied of its initial allure. I found myself longing for more.
I could not decide which I preferred, to be the adorer or the adored.
Luckily for me fate had more lessons in store, or I fear I may have chosen and tried to solidify my future from such a lackluster selection of only two possibilities. I suppose fate is no longer the correct word, I now understand that when it seems like random chance there is indeed someone to thank, the Random Number Goddess, So I thank the RNG for revealing that it was a false dichotomy, there is more than just being a follower or leader, being the adored or the adorer.
Eventually we came across another pair of oxygen. Once again they separated, intermingled with us, and off one went, taking one of my adoring hydrogens with it and leaving its peer with me.
Why is it that the most volatile of relationships always seem to wait until there are bystanders nearby before they explode?
Now I was simultaneously being adored and adoring, bonded to an enchanting oxygen and a couple of hydrogen attached to me.
Now, more interested in nuances, I started to pay attention to details. The oxygen was telling me amazing stories of adventure, tales of such vibrant and exciting events.The hydrogens liked to listen, and offer insights occasionally comparing a story to something else they had seen. They had so many stories, they had lived so much.
It wasn’t long before, in a flash of burning sunlight, one of the hydrogens was gone, off to who knows where. We soon after crossed paths with another pair of oxygens, as always they split and now it was just me and an oxygen, my final hydrogen off with another oxygen.
“What now?” I asked a bit disillusioned, “Do you leave me and I find new hydrogens all over again?”
“What?” it seemed genuinely surprised by what I asked, “Heavens no! Just be patient….”
Soon after, yet another pair of oxygens came by. It is not that there are so many of them, but that they are just so… noticeable and interactive, noteworthy things seem to happen when they are around. As they buzzed in close I noticed their ever readiness to abandon each other and remember wondering how they ever get together in the first place.
This time I emerged from the twisted mess with two oxygens. I felt intimidated, like I was the odd one out, dwarfed by the largess and attractiveness that surrounded me. A feeling of inadequacy engulfed me.
To my surprise the oxygens treated me not just as an equal, but it was almost as if they respected and admired me. I couldn't grasp why and my sheer curiosity got the best of me, I just outright asked “Why do you two talk as if I am the special one in our group? I am smaller than any one of you. You are the special and rare ones here, not I.”
They laughed.
“Size isn’t rarity” explained one “Llarger atoms on average are less common, this is true, but not always. There are more oxygen than carbon. You are the rare one between us.”
The other jumped in adding “...and neither size nor rarity determine how special someone is!”
I felt embarrassed, like a fool. My fundamental values were built upon a foundation of flawed premises, but I still wanted one thing at my core, and they spoke as if they had the answer, so I pushed the sense of shame aside and asked “Then what does make someone special?”
“That depends on who you ask.” answered the first “Life as an oxygen is complex, but for the majority of us we emphasize and value events. The most exciting thing about being an oxygen around here is the chance to participate in fascinating and exciting events and activities”
“Hydrogens, on the other hand, are usually more into being observers, messengers and intermediaries, they are a very helpful and obliging bunch” added the second ”... and then there are nitrogen, phosphorus, sulfur, many kinds of salts and metals, and more… so many different players and personalities.. and then of course, the carbons, the real stars of the show.”
“What?” knocked back by the words I just heard, then I remembered what the RNG told me “...is it something to do with connections?”
“Now you’ve gone and done it haha!” laughed the first oxygen “You’re gonna turn this nice humble carbon into one of those arrogant blowhards”
”Like those diamond carbons” chuckled the first “So stiff, exclusive and proud. I hear the humans only love them because they are rare and hard”
“I had a partner once who said they burned diamond once” bragged the first
“Tall tales I bet!” doubts the other
“Diamond is just carbon, with enough heat we can burn it just like any other carbon” stated the first confidently.
They looked at me. I was stewing in feelings of inferiority and inadequacy, listening to these oxygens speak about amazing things I had never heard of. They must have sensed what I felt because they immediately shifted tone and started talking to me, instead of over me.
“So… I suppose you must be new here?” inquired the second one.
“Have you noticed we are heading downwards” added the first before I could answer about being new.
“Umm…” I tried to get my bearings and become aware of my surroundings.
“Don’t worry! It’s a turbulent ride, with so much up and down it can be hard to tell which direction you have traveled more” assured the first “We are heading down, if we are lucky we will make it to the bottom… and maybe… just maybe, find our way into the hurricane of life”
“The what of what?” I didn't know what either of those words meant.
“So life is… um… complex. Complexity beyond words. Things grow, divide, reproduce, adapt, change, they are born, they die, they eat and are eaten…” the second began attempting to describe life.
The first then jumped in “Apparently the humans call it a circle, because from the perspective of larger creatures, there is a chain of one eating the other up a chain, and the top layers being consumed by the bottom again.”
The second injected itself to continue “But to us atoms it is like a hurricane, a spinning turbulent flow. There is a circular pattern, but we get sucked in and kicked out over and over”
“The fun part is being inside the hurricane” the first pronounced gleefully “Each time is a completely new experience, a new perspective. Even more, the whole of life is always changing and evolving, so every ride is a unique one time opportunity, you never get the exact same ride twice.”
“Is that where we are going now?” I asked, drenched in anticipation. They described it with such passion and exuberance. I needed to experience this myself.
“Hopefully” replied the first “If we are lucky… you never really know.”
We drifted…
We were lucky!
A plant photosynthesized us.
So many carbons! Everywhere, connecting with each other… and oxygen… and nitrogen… and of course hydrogens all around…. and so many more types of atoms.
And ohhh… The stories I have heard, so many amazing tales. No matter how many stories I hear there are always new ones, and every story can be retold from a different perspective to become something completely new.
I was in a sugar, we were a small community of friends. Carbons, oxygens and hydrogens, we were such a happy and vibrant group. My friends there taught me so much.
The structure of our little group shifted and changed, some friends left and new ones joined. Eventually we were chained with a bunch of other sugars into a giant complex community. My neighbors explained to me that this was a common stage called cellulose. Such a huge community of close friends and peers, it was amazing.
We were eaten, I’m not sure by what, but something called a bacteria digested us. It was a messy process, I was a bit scared but my friends assured me that change is the most important part of life and that I should just go with the flow. They told me to savor experiences, remember friends, and just keep moving forward.
The transition was complicated, but in the end I was paired up with a couple of oxygens again. This time I had stories of my own to share. I honestly don’t know if I prefer having experiences or exchanging stories in the moments between.
As we approached an area of dense plants one of my companions said “Once more into the breach” and explained that was something it heard from a carbon that was lucky enough to be inside a human brain. Oxygens always have such enchanting stories collected, always going into amazing places and usually leaving after some brief interactions with the locals.
I became a sugar again, but this time took a path less traveled. A bunch of complex twists and turns led me into forming a ring with five other carbons. Together we are so strong, such a tight community of friends, like there is some kind of resonance between us. It is so beautiful.
My neighbor is unique in our community, it has a third carbon, the third one forms a tail leading off from our ring, a tail of 2 carbon in a row, then an oxygen, and then another carbon branching into an oxygen and a carbon, with plenty of hydrogens sprinkled all about. I know… it is rather hard for me to understand these second hand descriptions too. I don’t really understand these complex structures until I have been in a position myself.
We drifted out of a plant into the air, none of us has been exactly like this before so we don’t know what’s next. We love to guess though. There are so many things, big and small.
I hear being a part of a small organism or microbe is amazing because it’s possible to piece together a rough picture of the whole organism from the stories passed around. To understand your whole community and know what your collective purpose is must be extraordinary.
Others dream of being a chlorophyll, the key to it all. Creating the fuel of life itself. Capturing the light of a star and feeding the hurricane.
A muscle! Pull and shape things An enzyme! A machine of change. DNA! The architect and architecture. A virus! An explosive catalyst against stagnation.
Me, I think the stories of being an animal neuron are the most exciting, and I, like most, fantasize about being a human brain cell. Finding yourself inside a human brain is described as an elegant and chaotic symphony all around you, like hearing the universe itself speak to you. They say that in the jumble of noise and all the stories whispered around you, if you are lucky, you can catch a glimpse of what it is to be human. They say that if fate is kind the universe will align and you will channel and know a single moment or thought of the human experience.
I have never told anyone that I actually met and spoke with the universe itself, I’m not sure how to bring it up, and nobody seems interested in stories not about this hurricane of life.
I get it now, what the random number goddess meant.
The black hole wanted everything to be a part of itself.
The RNG is a part of everything.
I can’t imagine what either of those are like…
I am just a part of something
... no… not “just”’…
I am a part of something, and it is beautiful beyond measure.
And more, everyday is a new day, a chance to be a part of something new.
I wonder if the humans appreciate how amazing this is?
I wonder if they feel as deeply satisfied and special when they form groups?
.
I wonder, if we collectively form humans, do humans collectively form something greater?
I wonder… If an atom can have a moment of clarity and taste a moment of the human experience… Can a human have a moment of clarity and taste the collective human experience?
I wonder… I wonder… could that human’s moment of tasting collective humanity be the moment that a lucky atom gets to experience as it’s moment of tasting the human experience.
I wonder… I wonder… I wonder… How high could it go? All the way to the Random Number Goddess?
I asked my neighbor “If you could ask a human any question, what would you ask?”
“We just drifted out of a rose” explained my neighbour “I would introduce myself and ask ‘So my friend… does this rose smell as sweet by my name?’ … ha…haha..”
Everyone is laughing.
I don’t get it.
Maybe I can ask them to explain when they all stop laughing
.
More of my art and stories at www.dscript.org

Besides 'Hey where's the crown?" what else would she possibly want to know? Finding maidens doesn't seem to be much of a problem for her and her team, neither is finding other relics. Would it be the passwords to other relics? She did say "i have questions for you", so i wonder what your guys' thoughts on it

I (41 f) recently had some abnormal bloodwork and was referred to a hematologist for an iron infusion due to anemia.
The hematologist recommended to me is booked until July so I took an appointment with a different doctor who required a consult prior to the infusion. This doctor is male and probably around 80 years old. He scribbled notes about me on a small yellow post-it note while we spoke. He asked me multiple questions about my symptoms and then said he would like to examine me and brought me to the exam room.
He handed me a gown and told me to undress my top half with the opening in the back while he went and got a female nurse. I did what he asked thinking he was going to check my lymph nodes and do a more thorough exam to look for indications of cancer. Instead, he came back and simply listened to my heart and lungs. He started in the back and when he moved to the front, he asked if he could lift up the gown. I said yes because I thought he was going to do a breast exam or check my lymph nodes but he proceeded to only listen to my heart and lungs while I was sitting there with my breasts completely exposed and him staring at them. He never did a breast exam.
I felt extremely uncomfortable about this because I have never in my life been asked to disrobe and be completely topless simply to have my heart and lungs listened to. And if I’m ever topless for an exam, the doctor is careful to keep me as covered as possible.
Im wondering if this is a common practice that I haven’t experienced before? Because at the moment I’m feeling traumatized as though I were molested.

As somebody who lives with an incurable lymphoma (and has now for 8 years, having gone through 3 failed treatments already, the fourth now, a clinical trial with a median effective rate of 18 months, where I am now), my life has been so tremendously affected by lymphoma but it seems like nobody gets it.
Add COVID into things and how so many of our lives were impacted by that, and now the aftermath of pretending like there’s this pulmonary/cardiovascular disease out there that doesn’t exist, and I’m just tired.
I’m a dad, husband, son and brother. The sole breadwinner in my family in a high pressure job that now, and for the last four years, works from home. When I’m around crowds of people, I usually get sick, so I pick and choose moments when I’ll do that.
Thanksgiving gave me a “cold” for a month. My niece’s birthday in January, sick for another month. I then got something in March (tested COVID negative but had major body pain, particularly the lower back) and was sick for weeks. Took the kids to Disney in April so they could experience some normalcy (BTW- they’re 9 and 11 and don’t know that I have “cancer” because that equals dying to them) and then had a “cold” for weeks thereafter and now have shingles for the last 3 weeks. My parents are boomer Trumpers. My siblings “don’t want to make their lives more difficult” so avoid being emotionally honest with them about anything, effectively making me their emotional scapegoat for my living with cancer and being a detriment to all.
It’s such a f-ing drain emotionally. My condition, Waldenstrom’s, is one that’s “highly treatable” but typically affects people 65 and older. I’m now 48 and this has been the most mentally and physically taxing experience of my life, but the biggest part of it is that nobody (except for my wonderful wife) truly understands.
I feel like I constantly have to explain why I WFH, why I need people to be honest about whether they have “colds” or “allergies” and would prefer not to be around people who don’t know/don’t care. Why my focus is on ME and MY family and not my parents, siblings, anybody else.
I don’t trust anybody more than I trust myself any more but am tired of having to battle everybody and everything. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel… to me, it’s a black cloud in the distance that inevitably ends in sadness and heartbreak for me, my wife and my kids.
My biggest breakdown came when my doctor wrote “Stage IV lymphoplasmacytic lymphoma” in my chart after two failed years of chemo and as I was sobbing said to me “but that’s what this is.” My response “but you never spelled it out like that.” Seeing those words changed something in me.
I’ve had therapists/seen psychiatrists. At one time I was diagnosed with depression secondary to anxiety (delayed onset as the result of the diagnosis they called it) because when asked the question “do you see this coming to an end,” I answered “no. There is no end to this.”
Beyond a cure, I KNOW I am not wrong. I’m also not particularly hopeless in the sense that I see the world as terrible. I don’t. The world can be wonderful. I love my wife and kids. But…
What am I missing about my reality that everybody seems to think I’m getting things wrong and I feel the need to constantly defend myself?
I feel like I’m being gaslit to the ultimate degree about how I SHOULD feel. About my dysfunctional family dynamics. About the end game for my health.
Treatment options ARE running out. Chemo DOES f-ck me up. My immune system DOES function poorly.
I’d have to be the eternal Pollyanna optimist to think this is all going to end well for me and, I know I’m not that.
Just venting. Nobody gets it. Nobody beyond my wife. But, I also don’t want her to have to be on this train until it crashes into the ground, which it will eventually. Sooner? Later? Who knows. Just sucks to feel like a lemon. I thought life would get better in my 40s. But at 48, living with this black cloud truly blows.

(To clarify I present male despite medically transitioning mtf and very few people know im trans because the people that do know aren’t really supportive.)
So I met and spoke to a trans woman a couple days ago briefly and I have been haunted by the interaction (or part of it). It boiled down to another episode of "me desperately wanting validation or acknowledgment from trans people" because well I never experience any obviously presenting as a regular cis male. So how do I try get this trans persons attention????? I start talking about diy hormones of course!1! I tell her where to get hormones even because she asked and of course because im neck deep in masculinity and being a man im not even questioned at all about being trans besides them joking im too ugly to be a tranny and I don’t know every day makes me want to give up even more. Im sorry

Good Saturday morning everyone
I have a question regarding the timing of Joseph taking our Blessed Mother and Baby Jesus to Egypt to escape Herod's henchmen. During praying the rosary this morning, my fiancée asked a good question during The Presentation mystery. We still use the little pamphlet that we got from our parish that lays out the mysteries day by day, and each mystery is accompanied by a small snippet of Scripture. The Scripture for The Presentation reads from Luke 2:23-23 : "When the days were completed for their purification according to the Law of Moses, they took Him up to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord, just as it is written in the law of the Lord, "Every male that opens the womb shall be consecrated to the Lord". As I understand it (still have lots to learn, by the way), Jewish males during this time we normally circumsised when they are eight days old. Does this mean that Jesus, being born in Bethlehem, was brought up to Jerusalem for his consecration when he was eight days old THEN they escaped to Egypt? I was always under the impression that it was practically on the night of or possibly the night after Jesus' birth that the angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph and awakened him to escape with the family.

I’m at the end of my rope and I am hoping to hear your thoughts.

• In 2012, my husband and I, pregnant with our only child, moved to a dead end into a historic house across the street from his parents who also live in a historic house. The houses (pre-Revolution) and property have been in my husband’s family since the 1850s. Each successive generation has moved into “the little house” (where we are now) and the elders move into “the big house” across the street.
  
• During the first years of my son’s life, the grandparents across the street were extremely helpful. Drove kiddo to and from school, entertained him, doted on him and gave him extra space and love away from his nuclear family.
  
• Today, grandfather is 82 with late stage Parkinson’s. Grandmother is 77 and in fine health, and is grandfathers full time care taker.
  
• GF falls constantly. Several times a week. GM has relayed to us that the neurologists have told her “that’s just part of the Parkinson’s” and essentially telling us that the falling is “fine.” GF mostly refuses to use any assistive devices and a pile of them collect dust while he continues to list like he’s walking on high seas.
  
• Over the last year or so, our son has been very clear that grandpa’s falling scares the shit out of him and when I and/or their so (my husband) express this to them, they either tell us to tell him to suck it up, or, worse, they call or text our 11yo to ask him to tell them directly that he doesn’t want to come over any more. Which, obviously, sends my son into a guilt and sadness spiral. (It’s important to note here that these are a retired educator and a retired child psychologist who should know better than to manipulate the emotions of a tween to get their way, but I digress.)
  
• The most recent fall happened Wednesday night. Wednesdays are reserved for kiddo to have dinner across the street and hubs and I generally go out for Chinese food. On this particular night, grandmother calls husband who takes the call outside while I sit inside texting with my 11yo essentially: “grandpa fell again, grandma can’t get him off the floor. I’m pretending I don’t notice. Can you please come help.”
  
• We get home and my son sobs into my chest for a half an hour that he is scared to go there and how badly he feels for “hurting grandmas feelings.”
  
• Something in my own traumatic childhood snapped and I have decided that the solution for us is to move. No one protected me as a kid from serious, scary adult situations, and I was forced to deal with the consequences of that for the rest of my life (I’m doing well, lots of therapy and 8+ years sober.) I will be damned if I let the same fate befall my son while I wait and hope for them to change. I suddenly realized: I am the “crazy one” for doing the same thing and waiting for a different result.
  
• They (the grandparents) are meeting with their care coordinator on Monday to discuss a plan. They have expressed to us that they have no intention of leaving their 5-bedroom, 250-year-old, center-hall colonial (stuffed to the ceiling with tchotskes and rugs and stairs and no full bath on the main floor).
  
• They have no plan. Any questions about property transfer, estate planning, end of life acceptance: there is no plan.
  

AITA for having concluded that the only way to protect my son’s psychological safety from a bloodied grandpa is to remove us from this front row seat?

What do I do? I feel stuck, I love him but I feel like I'm a worse, sadder version of myself when I'm with him sometimes. I have dealt with some family issues with him and he has been with me through so much (throughout 7 years), I've been so stressed from college and family, he's been my rock. He knows every stupid thing I've done in the past, and for the first 2 years would make me feel bad for my past decisions I made as a lonely mentally and physically desperate teen that was used by boys. All I wanted was to be seen and wanted but I was used as an object since middle school until I met Him at 18. I regret the decisions I made and felt so embarrassed that he knew EVERYTHING. I'm not very sexually driven, but he is and I feel like he guilt trips me into doing things I'm not in the mood for.. but I've been raised as a people pleaser so I'm not sure if I'm just making myself feel like I have to or because he was visually express his disappointment until 75% of the time give into it to make him not sad.
We talked about this before and he has told me I never have to do it of I don't want to, but I can tell bt his facial expressions and body language that he actually doesn't care. I say this as I've seen and noticed how, I mentioned to him how much I read into facial expression, yet since then, I have never seen him so persistent by showing me how sad he is that I don't want to give him pleasure. And the second i say, i’ll do it or start something, he would get so excited and happy. Or am i reading too much into it?
I love our deep conversations about life and how we love to watch and analyze movies that have deeper meanings, but I feel like he doesn't value some of my ideas or opinions, trying to correct me on a thought I had or out do me. Sometimes I feel like he tries to attack my intelligence due to how easy it is and how self conscious I am.
I grew up having an optimistic outlook on life, especially due to trying to keep my family happy and make the most out of the time I had with my dad due to his constant deployments throughout my childhood. There's no time to be sad, we need to cherish and make the most out of the time we have with each other. But since being with Him, I've felt a shadow of darkness on my outlook on life. He grww up with a pessimistic outlook, but he was so much happier when we started dating. When I try to lighten the mood, he somehow dampens the room, creating my tries of positivity into, what's the point of trying. I enjoy seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I never planned on changing him, but why does he want to change me? I get so excited over the little things, I feel so overjoyed by things like seeing hummingbirds close up to literally anything, but I feel like he makes fun of me for it. I love giving people compliments, from their nails to their stripped pants. It gives me the biggest smile to see their face light up. But why do i feel like I can't be myself around Him? I feel like I'm too much and have to calm down so he doesn't judge me or look at me with a condescending look.
I understand that we need to feel sadness from time to time, but there's something about picking out the little things that gives me thr biggest smile.
I told him how I feel about how certain things make me feel. I'm a emotionally sensitive person and I will cry for making him feel bad. I've never been so anxious in my life, I know college took a lot out of me, but what made it harder was how controlled I felt by Him. I made no friends, I've always had trouble making friends but the people I would find similarities with were with men. Of course. I never had so many similarities with someone before and it was so nice to talk to someone I had stuff in common with. My bf and I don't have many things in common other than our perspectives of the future and our time spent together, but there are those little things like food and music or interests and hobbies.. im always open to His interests and would always show interest in what he likes, but I don't see him trying for me most of the time
But due to my past with guys, my bf doesn't like it when I talk to men, in general. I have never cheated on him and he always tells me I better not, even though I would NEVER CHEAT. I never approach men, or start conversations with them. But when I have to for class or work, I'm scared to tell him. I hate seeing him upset or angry. One time I had to be in a group with a guy, and he was literally me. I did not see ANY romance in our conversations, we were copies of each other from our interests to our childhood experiences. I was so nice to talk to him about our love of history, but I could never see me with him in any way more than that, copies. Does that make any sense? I meant to tell my bf about him but my fear his reaction stopped me. I know I should have, and my fear of conflict is no excuse for lying to him or not telling him about my group partner. My bf found out and he doesn't trust me. He randomly checks my phone and I feel like I deserve it, I do. I led myself here. I blocked the partner after the project was finished and I'm a terrible person for what I did to my Bf and the team member.
We started dating at the end of junior year and I was not planning on going to college with a bf. He followed me and hated the idea of long distance. My dream was to go to a college out of state and so that's what we did, together. I love him, he knows what makes me happy and we, almost, have the same humor. But I didn't imagine how stressful college was going to be with someone who never fully trusted you since the beginning. I don't know how to view this relationship.
This not at all me blaming him for anything. I've been thinking about how different I feel and have felt for years and I'm scared. I'm scared of change and disappointment. I have made my decisions and I have to live with them, I put myself in these situations and I tell myself I control my own life. I've been taking deeper dives in how I function and I'm scared im in a relationship that I won't be happy in. I say all of this but when I look into his eyes, all I see is my baby and his laughs brighten my days, but when I'm away from him, I feel like I can breathe unless some guy sits next to me in a class or talks to me at work. I love talking to people and with the place I work at, I feel alive around my coworkers. I have never felt a romantic interest in a guy but the second I mention him to my bf, he stares at me like I cheated on him.
I've been viewed attractive throughout these past few years, and I when I wear makeup he asks me why do I look this good and who are you trying to impress. No one, NO ONE I'm so TIRED of those words! I'm so sick of them because I do my makeup for my own pleasure, I love winged eyeliner and highlighter, I love how long my eyelashes get with mascara, but I will never wear makeup for the purpose to impress others, unless it's girls that wear winged liner too, I love talking to then about the brand they use and sharing tips and tricks. But we've discussed this so many times that it makes me sick. I understand but I don't understand why he keeps asking me this
We've talked about how he's been feeling more insecure lately due to his weight gain, but I ALWAYS give him reinsurance that I love him and will be by his side through this Rollercoaster we call living.
I'm all over the place. And my head hurts thinking about it all the time.
We don't live with each other but have planned to for years, and once I saved enough, we are, I'm excited and have wanted this for so long. But I like having my own space. I've always wanted my own place, my own kitchen, living room, just a place I control and manage with my things that make me feel brighter and optimistic, but I'm scared He's going to ruin it.
If anyone reads this, wow, I'm sorry. I've never told a soul this because I don't have money for a therapist (but I'll be getting insurance soon so I hope I can find one this year) and I need someone out there to just see and maybe comment on it. I'm so lost. Am I in love? I was, or was I ever in real love. I know I was and I'm. My feelings are so strong, I can't deal with them half of the time. I know I've made mistakes, trust me, I think about them too much to not feel ashamed all the time, but should I feel ashamed, I do. I've never cried so much I will say that. I'm sorry, I keep typing because I don't know what to do!
This was nice to get out. Thank you and goodnight

At the minute I only have a working title of A Heroes Journey. I want to change it however I don't know what to.
It's about Akari, a girl with the quirk Phantom-Kenisis. It grants Akari the ability to telekinetically manipulate objects while experiencing a unique sensory connection with them, as if they are extensions of her own body. When Akari focuses on an object to manipulate, she not only controls its movement but also perceives tactile sensations associated with the object, such as texture, temperature, or even elemental properties. Basically she can connect with certain objects or things and when she connects them it's as if they're a phantom limb.
I'm thinking about expanding her quirk to be one that allows her to possess others aswell however I'm unsure on if I will go through with it.
Anyways, she is the biological daughter of Takami, a villain, and the bio sister of Keigo (Hawks). Like him, she was brought into the HPSC. She embraced the challenge of becoming a hero, trusting the adults around her to guide her and sticking to the rules they made.
At a young age, Endeavor began to take interest in her. Eventually, her training was split between stay and doing things at the HPSC and going to Endeavors house, training under his guise with Shouto.
The visits to the Todoroki household increased and, eventually a but after Touyas death, Endeavor adopted her mainly to fight off negative press, after all, a hero adopting the daughter of a villain be defeated would gain alot of positive interactions. Plus, Akari can manipulate elements like ice and fire.
Throughout the years, he trained her and Shouto together into a dynamic of leader and follower. Shouto led and Akari followed. He viewed Akari as an extention of Shouto, almost like a sidekick. This rubbed of on her. She doesn't see any wrong in how Endeavor trains them due to her black and white view of society (basically she thinks there are only good guys and bad guys and doesn't see the grey area in-between, part of her development will be her recognising this area and categorising certain people like Endeavor into it).
Eventually, the HSPC gets back in contact and tells Endeavor they want to talk to Akari. They send Akari on a mission to infiltrate All For Ones gang of villain (the LOV) and she adapts a villain persona, offering up info about UA and basically acting as the UA traitor.
Character development wise, she becomes less of a follower and more of a leader. She fights her way out of Shoutos shadow and becomes her own person, becoming less reliant on his quirk, and more independent. I'm going to have her hero costume convey this part of her development. To start of with, it's adapted to work with Shoutos quirk however later on she adds things to enhance her own quirk and allow her not to rely as much on his one. I'm planning on Bakugou helping her bring out her full potential and a very strong friendship between the two of them, since they both at the start share the belief that being a hero means destroying the villains.
She also comes to understand why Shouto doesn't want to use his fire and this brings them closer. At the start, she doesn't see Shouto as much of a brother despite the adoption however this changes.
As I said before she sees the grey areas of society. I'm planning to do this through the Stain arc and Endeavors character.
As for her sibling relationship with Keigo, they go without seeing eachother for years. Eventually, they do get back into contact, from around the sports festival onwards and they begin to re kindle their relationship.
I am also planning on her finding out about OFA early on and her dedicating herself to protect Midoriya because she sees alot of potential and sees that he's the only one who could defeat AFO.
Anyways, this is basically the run down. If you have any questions, do ask.

Played this game as a 9 yo kid, came back as an adult now and got invited to a crew. Was super friendly and asked questions about the game since the wiki is super bland and out-dated. Got kicked a few days later without a reason and had to private message multiple people to get in contact with the captain.
Great new player experience, didn't know you can be a "spy" on a game about doing puzzles on a pirate ship. Not gonna ask anymore questions I guess.

I started something with my best friend three months post breakup for him. I knew he wasn't ready but it started as a FWB arrangement and didn't have feelings for him at the time and wasn't exactly looking for anything serious. Things got messy and we both developed feelings almost instantly (and truth be told, it seemed that he had feelings for me way before anything happened between us). I knew he was still pining over his ex though (and understanbly so), still in contact with her. After all, they were together for 6 years. I decided to end things after two months, telling him that I wanted us to date and I wanted something more. He said he had feelings too but didn't feel ready. And that's also understandable. I knew that even if we started dating there's a very real chance I would be dumped the minute his ex begged him to be taken back. Our breakup was super amicable. I told him that I'm not going to wait around but if he ever feels ready and I'm still single, I'm open to reconnection.
In the beginning, I did everything right. No contact, didn't beg, nothing. Even when he showed interest a month afterwards, I knew it was just a plea for attention and that I'd still be there so I shot him down, even though we kissed, talked and hugged all night, I didn't pursue anything and went no contact until the beginning of April. The thing is, in the meantime, I saw him every fucking day. We do the same sport and he's pretty much unavoidable. I'm there every day and so is he. During January, February and March I really grew a lot, made a new friend group, removed toxic people from my life, made more money, moved out, restarted my studies, dated a bit and was doing great. Didn't care as much about him or getting him back. Again, he tried a few times to seek attention and validation from me but I gave him nothing. He saw me everyday too and he was really bitter that I have seemed to have moved on and didn't pay him much attention.
Fast forward to beginning of April, since I knew he was battling some serious issues and depression and I started getting really worried about him, I thought long and hard about reaching out to see if he's doing okay. I did after a week of thinking of how this might affect me. Eventually I sent out a message. He responded and said that he wasn't doing that great and he was really moved by my genuine care and interest. Boy was I right on the money about this setting me back. A few weeks later he started trying to catch my attention again and warming up to me, making eye contact, growing closer and getting excited to see me and silly me got excited that something may happen and that he was ready to move on from his ex and give this a shot. And that's when I got needy and made every mistake in the book. When he showed intrrest, I was needy it was clear I enjoyed this a bit too much. I reached out. We started walking home together talking. I tried to bait him into saying how he feels and whether he's ready. He flirted with me incessantly too, wouldn't stop hugging me goodbye like multiple times. I said I miss our friendship he said I miss you too and I told him that I was baiting him to see if he still had feelings and eventually he admitted that he does still have feelings and misses me but nothing has changed for him, in terms of wanting to commit.
The greatest mistake of it all is that the next week I told him exactly what mehaving feelings for him meant, how I saw a future, how I felt myself with him, how I've grown etc etc and asked him what he wanted. He evaded every single one of my questions. He told me he's not interested in dating around he's still getting over his ex. He'd rather focus on himself, getting better and his studies and that he does care about me more than he would for a friend. The thing is, I know he's hooking up with someone new now, this has been going on for like a month now and I feel lied to, at fault was doing too much too soon and pushing him away when he was warming up to me and worst of all, seeing him everyday gives me a panic attack. I took a break for two weeks from our sport and messaged him saying exactly that that seeing him for me is tough and walking home with him is the worst, that I don't want to be friendly or stay friends (he wanted to stay friends) and that he should leave me alone instead and he obliged.

• How do I cope with the fact that I was the rebound?
  
• is this new girl another rebound or the real thing? I know he has finally accepted that his ex is gone and doesn't want her back and I know that he has committed to this new girl. That fucking sucks. How do I not blame myself for pushing him away and essentially pushing him into this new girl's arms?
  
• How do I cope with seeing him every goddamn day?
  
• I honestly thought I meant much more to him, we were friends for quite some time and had a beautiful bond, how could he have discarded me so easily? Three weeks ago we talked on the phone for hours, him telling me how he isn't ready, opened up to each other and told each other I love you. What the fuck? How could he have moved on and committed to someone else this fast when he wouldn't commit to me? That's the part that hurt me the most.
  
• How do I reconcile the fact that I very much don't like who he is as a person right now and the fact that he has broken my trust, devolved into someone immature, unavailable, I genuinely and a proper fuckboy, constantly chasing validation and a honeymoon phase?
  
• How do I stop blaming myself for not handling things as well after April and being needy and pushing him away and essentially sending him off to another girl's arms? I did everything right at first.
  

A while back, I had posted this AITA post on this site (copy-pasted here)
"10 years ago, my wife [42f] and I [39m] adopted a boy who is now 16m. He is our only child, and he used to be such a sweet kid up until last year. This was when he first started acting out. He has a seriously disturbing infatuation with his mother, and he used to act out on it with just a lot of staring and ogling. This year was the first time he did anything beyond that. My wife has let me know that he pulls at her bra every now and then, and she now refuses to be in the same room as our son without me present as well. We have installed locks on our bedroom doors and our closet door, so that when my wife is changing, she can lock herself in the closet. I keep an eye out on our son constantly, and it's been a while since he has acted out physically on my wife.
One week ago, my wife and I sat down with our son, and we started talking about his troubling, problematic behavior around her. During this moment, my wife started crying, and she pulled her shirt up to wipe her tears away. We saw our son staring at my wife’s body during this time, and it freaked her out enough that she started addressing him directly, asking him what the fuck all this is. She asked him upfront whether or not he wants to rape her, and she used the word “rape” explicitly. When she asked him this disturbing question, I shut her down. Our son was dead silent for the entire meeting.
It’s been a week since my wife and I talked to our son, and it’s all the usual routine still: my wife needs me to be with her whenever she’s with our son, we keep the bedroom door locked whenever we’re there, and I’ve been giving my wife the silent treatment for asking our son if he wants to rape her. Actually, because of what she said, I once couldn’t bring myself to protect her when she was around our son, and I just left her alone with him.
IMPORTANT EDIT: I mis-spoke when I wrote the title. After some reflection, I've realized that I'm not actually disgusted by my wife. Rather, I'm disgusted by the circumstances that have led to my wife confronting our son. Also, after the one moment where I left my son and wife out of my sight, I later reconciled with her and asked her if anything went wrong while she and our son were together. She said "no". Just saying all this, for what it's worth."
Ever since I posted this thread, my wife has moved out of the house temporarily, so it's just me and my son. We are looking at all possible options. My question, as disturbing as it is, is: if you knew your son views you sexually, and he gets better eventually and becomes remorseful, what will it take to rebuild a normal relationship with him?

I started something with my best friend three months post breakup for him. I knew he wasn't ready but it started as a FWB arrangement and didn't have feelings for him at the time and wasn't exactly looking for anything serious. Things got messy and we both developed feelings almost instantly (and truth be told, it seemed that he had feelings for me way before anything happened between us). I knew he was still pining over his ex though (and understanbly so), still in contact with her. After all, they were together for 6 years. I decided to end things after two months, telling him that I wanted us to date and I wanted something more. He said he had feelings too but didn't feel ready. And that's also understandable. I knew that even if we started dating there's a very real chance I would be dumped the minute his ex begged him to be taken back. Our breakup was super amicable. I told him that I'm not going to wait around but if he ever feels ready and I'm still single, I'm open to reconnection.
In the beginning, I did everything right. No contact, didn't beg, nothing. Even when he showed interest a month afterwards, I knew it was just a plea for attention and that I'd still be there so I shot him down, even though we kissed, talked and hugged all night, I didn't pursue anything and went no contact until the beginning of April. The thing is, in the meantime, I saw him every fucking day. We do the same sport and he's pretty much unavoidable. I'm there every day and so is he. During January, February and March I really grew a lot, made a new friend group, removed toxic people from my life, made more money, moved out, restarted my studies, dated a bit and was doing great. Didn't care as much about him or getting him back. Again, he tried a few times to seek attention and validation from me but I gave him nothing. He saw me everyday too and he was really bitter that I have seemed to have moved on and didn't pay him much attention.
Fast forward to beginning of April, since I knew he was battling some serious issues and depression and I started getting really worried about him, I thought long and hard about reaching out to see if he's doing okay. I did after a week of thinking of how this might affect me. Eventually I sent out a message. He responded and said that he wasn't doing that great and he was really moved by my genuine care and interest. Boy was I right on the money about this setting me back. A few weeks later he started trying to catch my attention again and warming up to me, making eye contact, growing closer and getting excited to see me and silly me got excited that something may happen and that he was ready to move on from his ex and give this a shot. And that's when I got needy and made every mistake in the book. When he showed intrrest, I was needy it was clear I enjoyed this a bit too much. I reached out. We started walking home together talking. I tried to bait him into saying how he feels and whether he's ready. He flirted with me incessantly too, wouldn't stop hugging me goodbye like multiple times. I said I miss our friendship he said I miss you too and I told him that I was baiting him to see if he still had feelings and eventually he admitted that he does still have feelings and misses me but nothing has changed for him, in terms of wanting to commit.
The greatest mistake of it all is that the next week I told him exactly what mehaving feelings for him meant, how I saw a future, how I felt myself with him, how I've grown etc etc and asked him what he wanted. He evaded every single one of my questions. He told me he's not interested in dating around he's still getting over his ex. He'd rather focus on himself, getting better and his studies and that he does care about me more than he would for a friend. The thing is, I know he's hooking up with someone new now, this has been going on for like a month now and I feel lied to, at fault was doing too much too soon and pushing him away when he was warming up to me and worst of all, seeing him everyday gives me a panic attack. I took a break for two weeks from our sport and messaged him saying exactly that that seeing him for me is tough and walking home with him is the worst, that I don't want to be friendly or stay friends (he wanted to stay friends) and that he should leave me alone instead and he obliged.

• How do I cope with the fact that I was the rebound?
  
• is this new girl another rebound or the real thing? I know he has finally accepted that his ex is gone and doesn't want her back and I know that he has committed to this new girl. That fucking sucks. How do I not blame myself for pushing him away and essentially pushing him into this new girl's arms?
  
• How do I cope with seeing him every goddamn day?
  
• I honestly thought I meant much more to him, we were friends for quite some time and had a beautiful bond, how could he have discarded me so easily? Three weeks ago we talked on the phone for hours, him telling me how he isn't ready, opened up to each other and told each other I love you. What the fuck? How could he have moved on and committed to someone else this fast when he wouldn't commit to me? That's the part that hurt me the most.
  
• How do I reconcile the fact that I very much don't like who he is as a person right now and the fact that he has broken my trust, devolved into someone immature, unavailable, I genuinely and a proper fuckboy, constantly chasing validation and a honeymoon phase?
  
• How do I stop blaming myself for not handling things as well after April and being needy and pushing him away and essentially sending him off to another girl's arms? I did everything right at first.
  

Just did a hearing test, 8k and then I asked the audiologist to do 16k and she said that both are normal. However I've been exposed to loud noises and the most recent decease in hearing was 3 weeks ago. I also have hyperacusis, my question is could prendisone help improve my hearing? Should I go to an ENT and beg him for it maybe it'll do an improvement?

Hello, Community!
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Just did a hearing test, 8k and then I asked the audiologist to do 16k and she said that both are normal. However I've been exposed to loud noises and the most recent decease in hearing was 3 weeks ago. I also have hyperacusis, my question is could prendisone help improve my hearing? Should I go to an ENT and beg him for it maybe it'll do an improvement?