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2012.10.14 04:13 trauma_kmart FIRST Lego League
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2024.06.01 16:12 Future_Adagio2052 Gordon vs Isaac Clarke: why it is actually AWESOME!
 | submitted by Future_Adagio2052 to DeathBattleMatchups [link] [comments] you may have seen or heard about this before but let me tell you why its awesome! SECTION 1: CONNECTIONS (this was made by u/Nevin3Tears who made the connections so all due credit goes to him) Full Connections List: Both are badass, alien-killing science fiction protagonists who were originally every-men forced into situations that were out of their control (Black Mesa Incident and Ishimura Outbreak respectively). They were both from games that were heavily innovative for their respective genre. Half-Life was the first FPS game to build an immersive setting rather than just be a shooting gallery like it's predecessors (Doom and Quake), Dead Space pushed for procedural enemy placement and the removal of a HUD in contrast to it's predecessors. (Resident Evil) Both worked for scientifically revolutionary corporations who studied alien technology (Black Mesa studied Xen and the Concordance Extraction Corporation studied the 3A Marker) that were sabotaged from within by enigmatic groups (The G-Man's employers and Unitologists) that manipulated the head of the facility where the incident occurred (Administrator Wallace Breen of Black Mesa and Captain Benjamin Mathius of the USG Ishimura) to go forward with the plans of said groups. Both companies had dissenters who realized the danger of the what the company was doing early on (Eli Vance and Terrence Kyne), both had previous relationships with the saboteurs (The G-Man and Eli Vance spoke immediately before the incident occurred, Terrence Kyne worked with Challus Mercer reluctantly before the outbreak occurred), and both work with the protagonists to fix the mistakes they indirectly caused and are killed in the process (Eli is killed by an Advisor in Half-Life 2: Episode Two and Terrence Kyne is killed by Kendra Daniels in Dead Space 1) Both are highly intelligent in their respective field (Gordon Freeman is a Theoretical Physicist who graduated from MIT with a PhD in said field, Isaac Clarke graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Mechanical and Electrical Engineering with an unknown Alumni). Despite this, however, they're both overqualified for the positions they're in (Gordon Freeman is reduced to pushing buttons and pushing a cart into a port, Isaac is reduced to hacking doors and producing damage reports). They are betrayed by female members of their team who are double agents of an enemy faction within the game (Judith Mossman is a double agent for the Combine, Kendra Daniels is a double agent for EarthGov). However, both of these women had ultimately noble goals that makes the player sympathize with them (Mossman was working with the Combine to ensure Eli's safety, Daniels worked with EarthGov to ensure that the Marker would be kept secure and contained from Unitologists). Both were considered high-priority targets for a military coverup operation (The Hazardous Environment Combat Unit of the USMC considered Freeman their #1 target for the vast majority of the Black Mesa Incident due to killing huge swathes of their troops, The EarthGov security force also considered Clarke an extremely high-priority target due to his objective of destroying the Marker which was considered threatening by director Tiedemann). However, against all odds, they manage to overcome this despite being massively outnumbered and outgunned, eventually forcing both groups into retreat and disarray. After making their way into the alien-world where their respective incidents originated (Xen and Aegis IIV), they end up stopping the situation by destroying the being that led the invasion in the first place (The Nihilanth led the assault on Earth by commanding the Xenian military force (Vortigaunts, Alien Grunts, etc.) throughout the Incident, The Hivemind on Aegis IIV commanded the Necromorph horde during their assault on the USG Ishimura). After these beings were defeated, the entire invasion force fell apart (literally in the Necromorph's case) as no reinforcements could be delivered. After the end of their first game, both are placed into long periods of stasis against their will (The G-Man recruited Gordon for his employers due to his aptitude during the incident, Isaac was caught stranded in Space and was forcibly placed in stasis for 3 years due to his growing instability). After being awakened, both find themselves in large, futuristic cities (City 17 and Titan Station) governed by tyrannical rulers (Wallace Breen and Hans Tiedemann). Both end up ultimately killing these said tyrants at the end of their second game, unintentionally destroying their cities as well (The death of Hans Tiedemann ultimately resulted in the complete destruction of Titan Station, The death of Wallace Breen resulted in the destruction of City 17 due to the citadel core imploding). Around the start of their second game, both of them meet likable female characters who eventually become their closest companion throughout the rest of the series (Alyx Vance and Ellie Langford are both considered the deuratagonists of their respective series). Both are haunted by enigmatic reminders of their decisions throughout their second games (The G-Man is constantly watching Gordon throughout the entirety of Half-Life 2, appearing in locations that are impossible for the player to reach conventionally. He serves as a reminder of Gordon's decision to accept his offer at the end of the first game. On the other hand, Isaac is consistently haunted by Nicole's hallucination throughout the entire game, serving as a reminder of his decision to blame Nicole for the death of his parents), however, both eventually break free of this by the start of the next game (The Vortigaunts cut off Gordon's link to the G-Man at the start of HL2: Episode One, and Isaac destroying the Marker at the end of Dead Space 2 ends his hallucinations of Nicole). Both of their most iconic weapons were not originally designed for combat in the slightest (The Crowbar is a simple repair tool, the Plasma Cutter is a basic mining tool), however, they became combat-efficient due to the innovative thinking of their wielders. Both have Gravity-manipulation tools that were originally designed for heavy lifting (The Gravity Gun and Kinesis) but became combat-efficient, again, due to to the intuition and creative thinking of their wearers. Both of them received critically acclaimed remakes in the past few years that are often cited among the best remakes ever made (Black Mesa was released in 2020, Dead Space was released in 2023). Both of them have an infamous history with the number 3. Dead Space 3 is a mess that killed the franchise until the remake came out, and Half-Life 3 is one of the most hyped up and memed games of all time because of how many people want it. Basically, EA can count to 3, but they can't pronounce it right, Valve can't count to 3 at all. SECTION 2: fight potential So now the connections are done we get to the next section which is the fight potential and dynamic which is what i’ll be explaining Both gordon and isaac obviously have guns to use against each other but we need to go more in depth For starters why would both fight each other? well it's pretty simple in the events of dead space 2 isaac suffered from hallucinations from the events of the first game and with gordon being silent it's easy to assume isaac would deem him a threat and try to attack him The fight could start with both of them using their simpler weapons such as gordons mp7 and isaacs plasma cutter as the battle would be each of them trying to reach each other and you could easily have both of them use there other weapons for gordon you could have him use the crossbow and for isaac you could have him use the pulse rifle and before any of them reaches the other they get knocked out as we get to the next escalation The next stage of the fight can be them waking up as they are overrun by either necromorphs or headcrab zombies as they stop fighting each other and fight the hoard which the commissioned track by brandon yates shows as a general idea around 2:05 https://youtu.be/DX48ImC1lXY?si=jJaI8j6tl7rgGuXO You can have both use there more closer ranged guns such as the SPAS-12 for gordon and the handheld ore cutter line gun for isaac as they kill the undead horde you can even have a scene where one of them runs out of ammo and the other person throws one at them. Eventually after the battle is over both turn the guns on each other as they resume the gun fight with both using their more explosive weapons such as the rpg and supercollider contact beam until they get sucked out of space. With this you could have a reference to the zero g sections in dead space where both of them are fighting in space maybe have isaac try to strangle gordon but he retaliates by using his crowbar against him which leads them to land on a station Which leads to the final stage where with both of them exhausted and out of options they start using their biggest weapons……..gravity! Both start using the area around them with gordon using his gravity gun and isaac his kinesis as they throw projectiles at the other person gravely injuring each other in the process as they find the final projectile each uses there weapon however a tug of war ensures as they try desperately to hold on against the other. There are 2 ways this ends either 1 gordon wins the tug of war as he launches it against isaac impaling him as he looks up at gordon who beats him with a crowbar ie hunt down the freeman style while if isaac wins he launches the kinesis at gordon impaling him as he looks up at isaac who stomps on him ie what he does in the games I hope this short visualisation helps show how their arsenals can bounce off of each other and better yet you even have more shit both can use against the other that i didn't such as isaacs stasis and gordons tau cannon. SECTION 3: DEBATE Surprisingly this matchup is very debatable with both having advantages and disadvantages against the other such as gordon having the advantage of having multiple ways to bypass isaacs armour and being able to hard counter with his gravity gun however he has less diversity in terms of abilities and is far weaker and less durable than isaac and isaac having the advantage of having a bigger and more versatile arsenal then gordon and being much stronger and more durable in general compared to him however he is less skilled and agile compared to gordon and gordon's HEV suits shield has the better defensive options Like before i hope this short description helped give you the idea on the debate and if you want to know more then i would heavily suggest checking out this blog which describes it in much better detail than i could https://www.reddit.com/DeathBattleMatchups/comments/1czug0g4_death_battle_fan_blogspredictions_gordon/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button SECTION 4: MUSIC POTENTIAL While both half life and dead space are different in terms of music you still have ways to make the music potential work as shown with these 2 here https://youtu.be/z3qEUkrJ6lE?si=rBlqoay7YX7zHVdo https://youtu.be/Nz6_Zprm9AI?si=zVXvEtn1WW-3D58d Having the music start with a slow atmospheric beginning reminisce of the dead space games https://youtu.be/Q2suSUMgROY?si=nHMo4zmg0Wwo5LHd but as it goes on it slowly turns to a more action heavy soundtrack akin to the half life https://youtu.be/7eXuoJD0cTc?si=R1YMMoRmgkovOc-F An even better example is the commissioned track made by Brandon himself! https://youtu.be/DX48ImC1lXY?si=QKnAY4XF4X5fHYJV The track starts off slow but more tension builds up as it goes on until in 2:05 where it becomes action heavy until it goes goes back to the tension before hand as it builds up with big thuds until the final thud where the track ends As said before hand i hope i helped explain how both dead space and half life music can work for a good escalation of a track and please do check out marked for life and give it a listen SECTION 5: INTERACTION POTENTIAL Now this is sort of a weakness of the matchup as Gordon doesn't talk however there are ways to make this work through other methods Such as using Gordon's facial expressions to visualise what he feels/says without saying a word as his actions speak louder than his words both in the story and in the game. you can easily make this work with his models and especially his newer one from half life alyx With Isaac he does talk however you can also use body language to also visualise what he feels/says without saying a word this should be very easy to do and you can also use facial expressions thanks to his newer model from the dead space 1 remake! So overall while interaction potential is a bit iffy you can certainly make it work through other methods which wouldn't be out of character for either to use SECTION 6: CLOSING/FINAL THOUGHTS For a legacy match up that's over 10 years old (no seriously the matchups first ever mention was all the way back in fucking 2012 https://www.reddit.com/DeathBattleMatchups/comments/1c2oljw/the_first_ever_mention_of_gordon_freeman_vs_isaac/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button like goddamn) It actually holds up surprisingly well with good connections and fight dynamic to back it up showing how it managed to hold the test of time To sum up what I said, the connections show the similarities of both characters as ordinary men thrusted into terrifying situations which changed them both. a fight dynamic showing how both of them can bounce off of each other. A debate showing both of their advantages and disadvantages and the win cons. The music potential of both series and how it can mix well together. And finally interaction potential which while a weak point is definitely salvageable and can work if we use other methods. So overall I wanted to continue and finish this post since I really like this match up and I think it deserves more love and again HUGE thank you to Nevin who wrote the connections for this mu and allowed me to make the rest of it and anyways thank you for anyone who read to this point and hopefully it will become an amazing episode.....if that ever comes out that is. |
2024.06.01 16:11 Haunting-Band-2763 Hazbin Hotel - E3S1: Scrambled Eggs (Genderswap)
(At Hazbin Hotel, the cat is sleeping at the sofa, until it hears a hammer sound and sees Charles at a stair in the front of a banner above the entrance door saying "Happy First Week, Miss Pentious")
Charles: That looks perfect! (Screams excitedly) I am so excited that Miss Pentious is staying at the hotel!
Vagner: Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with her weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.
Charles: Well, I haven't seen her try to pull any of that here.
(The cat runs from Miss Pentious pushing a giant ray gun)
Vagner: What the hell is that?!
Miss Pentious: Oh, hello, purple male. It's my new invention: the Skin Flayer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.
Charles: What? Why?
Miss Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they're planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machines are here!
(Two boys enter the hotel with a bunch of box in a cart)
Oddie: Sign here, please. (Gives a clipboard and pen to Miss Pentious, she signs it and give it back) Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.
Vagner: Carmine? As in Carmillo Carmine? You are buying parts from an overlord?
Miss Pentious: Uh, of course. He's the top weapons dealer in Hell.
Vagner: Okay, well, that stops right now. (Gets the kart with the boxes from Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Hey!
Vagner: You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel! No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice beacause they they want you to feel welcome.
(Miss Pentious looks at the bar Hisky and Angela give her the middle finger and Niffter smiles and laughs creepily to her)
Miss Pentious: I have my doubts.
Vagner: Well it's true. You have to trust us.
Miss Pentious: But I don't.
Charles: Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?
Vagner: Not before we lay some ground rules: no more building weapons, no more plotting against the other guests and you need to get rid of these things.
(One of the Egg Girls shoots a laser at the roof and breaks it)
Vagner: Ah! What did I just say? What did I just say?
Miss Pentious: What? Not my little Egg Girls! They do my evil bidding for my.
Vagner: Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?
Miss Pentious: Yes?
Vagner: Then, no more eggs!
Miss Pentious: Alright, eggies. You've got to go. I (Sniffs) can't keep you anymore.
Egg Girl #1: Okay, boss!
Miss Pentious: No, don't resist, this is how it has to be.
(The egg girls follow Vagner and Miss Pentious cries sterically with Charles patting her)
(Alice is seen eating a dead deer with fork and knife in a table in the middle of a swamp)
Vagner: Alice!
(The screen moves showing the swamp in a room and Vagner at the door)
Alice: Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.
Vagner: Pentious' eggs are all over the place and I need you to get rid of them.
Alice: Oh! Well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!
Vagner: Humanely!
Alice: Um. Well, that's a lot less fun. But I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today. (Leaves her room)
Vagner: Great! (See the dead deer) Oh, this is disgusting.
(At the looby)
Charles: Hi, guys! Thanks for coming! It's been brought to our attention that there maybe a littleeeeeeeee tension at the hotel!
(Miss Pentious grabs Niffter and prepares to shoot him, but Vagner gets her gun)
Vagner: Tension that can be counterproductive to what we're trying to do here.
Charles: We think that this group could really benefit from...(Jumps in front of a lighthing background) Trust exercises!
Vagner: Trust exercises! Oh, shit! (Falls butt down on the ground and Charles gets him up)
Charles: Vagner, we rehearse this. (Sighs) We're doing trust exercises!
Hisky: So, um, what's with the whole, uh...This?
(A stage is seen behind Vagner and Charles)
Hisky: I'm not about to put on some show for these fuckings chumps!
Angela: Oh, I will! (Puts her legs in Hisky's) But it's cash up first. And I know that one afford me.
Miss Pentious: Gross! I'd think of it, spider!
Vagner: Right, let's get started. Charles?
Charles: Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one. I trust everyone, so maybe you'd know better about how to build it properly.
Vagner: What? Uh, I don't know I'm qualified to...
Charles: Oh, come on! It'll be easy, I'm sure you can handle this.
Vagner: Yeah, um, sure. I can handle this, no problem. (Inhales) Alright, so we are starting with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable about yourself and then fall backwards while the rest lf the group catches you, got it? Who wants to go first?
Charles: Ooh! Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Vagner: Alright, get on up there!
(Charles gets in the stage)
Charles: I...I love you guys. Like, really love you! (Turns around, falls backwards and Vagner catches him)
Vagner: Got you!
Charles: That...Felt...Good! Angela, why don't go next?
Angela: Fine! (Goes to the stage)
Vagner: This time everyone needs to catch her, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you!
Angela: Well, something about myself, huh? Well, how about this? I love to lick...
Hisky: I swear to fuck if you say pussies!
Angela: Lollipops, ya sicko! Get your head head of the gutter! (Falls backwards and Hisky catches her) But ya know? Pussies, too. (Hisky drops her) Ahh! Alright, new girl, you're up.
(A spotlight shines on Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: I don't want to leave without my minions! Nobody catch me. (Falls backwards and Vagner, Charlie and Hisky catch her) Damn it!
Vagner: That's great. Wow, you're slimy. Good job. Uh, Niffter? (Niffter runs runs past him and gets in the stage)
Niffter: Sometimes, I kill father bugs in front of their children as a warning to others! (Falls from the stage, everyone backs away and he falls face down in the ground) Yay! Pain! (Gets up, goes to the stage, falls and repeats it) Hehe, pain!
(Charles and Vagner walk away)
Charles: I don't think this really working the way we hoped. Maybe, we should...
Vagner: Honey, you have to trust me here. I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.
Angela: If you're in the market for some ideas, I got just the thing for some trust building.
Vagner: (Sighs) What do you have in mind?
(In the town, Alice is seen walking with the Egg Girls)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, boy! What's the plan, boss?
Egg Girl #2: I like your suit.
Egg Girl #3: What are the antlers for?
Egg Girl #4: Can I touch your staff thing?
Egg Girl #5: Are those your ears or is it your hair? I can't tell.
(A tall woman appears in front of Alice)
Zestia: Hark, Alice. How fare thee this day?
Egg Girl #1: Who's that boss? Want me to ruff her up for ya?
Alice: Follow in silence if you value your shells! Greetins, Zestia!
Sinner #1: Ahh! Holy shit! (Falls backwards)
Zestia: Ah, the weather did become fine this day!
Sinner #2: Oh! Uh-oh! (Hides in the garbage)
Alice: Indeed! Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon!
(A demon screams, covers her in gas and combustes her in flames)n
Zestia: If our luck doth hold. I do reveal in the screams. How art thou? (Walks with Alice) It's been an ages since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to...Holy arms.
Alice: (Laughs) Oh, I just took a well earned sabatical, nothing serious. Though is fun to keep everyone on their toes. Ha ha!
Zestia: (Chuckles) There too hath been rumor of thy involvement with the prince and his flight of fancy. Tell me, how does thou fall in such folly?
Alice: That is for me to know. But please, do guess, I'd love to hear the theories!
Zestia: (Chuckles) T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alice. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm.
Alice: Coming from someone as ancient as you I take that as quite the complement!
(They walk into an alley, pass through a security cam and Alice statics it, the girls get in an elevator and Alice prevents the egg girls from entering with her staff)
Alice: No, no. I have a very important task for you: stay here and guard the front until I return.
(The Egg Girls salute Alice, the elevator closes and goes up)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, look, Frankie is up there!
Egg Girl #2: We have names?
(In the top the building, the elevator doors open and Zestial, Alice and Frankie get out of it, Frankie sees a blck eyes man and a blue skull woman saluting and a dinosaur guy come ou of an elevator and all of them enter a room with a table and chairs and Frankie hides behind Alice, the black eyes man see her, she waves at him and he smiles showing his teeth and she hides scared, and a man appears at the end of the table with the delivery boys from later)
Carmillo: Welcome, Hell's sovereign overlords. I invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with a new extermination schedul. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact. (See Zestia sitting at his side) Zestia, so good to see you my friend.
Zestia: Encanted as always, Carmillo.
Carmillo: Alice?
Alice: Yes, I know, I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering.
Carmillo: Not really. But welcome back in ay case. (Snaps fingers and Oddie gives him a clipboard) This year's extermination was brutal. Far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the Angelic Legions returning twice as quickly, I think is prudent that we...
(Veener quicks the door and everyone looks at him)
Veener: (At the phone) Yes, I've got it handled, Vix. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. Ha ha ha! Yes, I know, they're all a joke. (Laughs) Thank you, Vee. (Kisses) Kisses, darling!
Carmillo: Nice of you to join us, Veener. Will your colleagues be joining?
Veener: No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag that thinks he's tough shit. I'm here to represent.
Carmillo: Charming. (Veener puts a poop filter on him) So, as I was saying, we need to discuss...
(Veener raises and shakes his hand)
Carmillo: Yes?
Veener: On the subject of discussion. (Throws an angel head in the table)
(Everyone gasps)
Alice: Ooh! Tasty!
Carmillo: Where did you get this?
Veener: We found it during the extermination day. If these holy rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them. The girls and I have come up with a full assault plan...
(Everyone hears sipping noises, and look at Zestia drinking tea loudly and she puts the cup in the table)
Zestia: If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war, with such meagre proof. Thou art far more foolish than I be thought.
Veener: (Scoffs) "Meagre proof"? It's a dead fucking exorcist! I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive! You're going blind, old woman?
Zestia: We know not how this perished. Mayhaps it was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing might, they purge all of Hell for ding an uprising.
(Everyone mutters in agreement and Veener looks to Carmillo worried)
Veener: Oh! I get it. So grandma is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right?
(Zestia gets angry)
Veener: Oh, what's the matter, fossil? To senile to make a real power grab for...
Carmillo: (Singing) You better show some respect! Check your behavior! No one speaks too Zestia that way! Did you expect us to sir baxk and rake your insolent brazen display?
Veener: Haha! (Singing) You've got it twisted! I'm not the one who needs a attitude! Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch and I will do nothing else then what I please! Woo! I'm the backbone of the Vees! Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's 'cause no one could respect this. Sorry group attendin', since when are overlords too scared to fight? You're long past trendin'. Sorry, bae, but I ain't swipin' right. You lost your relevance.
Zestia: We can't act without more intelligence!
Veener: Ugh, no wonder I'm so respectless. I could eat you lot for breakfast. You and the Vees are inane and uninformed, Smug wannabes, who don't heed when you've been warned!
Veener: Oops! Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, couldn't help but observe that your wrinkled face was turning red! And why are you avoidin' war? That's what the guns you sell are for. Thanks to my being respectless. One thing I'm starting to suspect is. You know why this angel's headless. Do you have a disclosure?
Carmillo: This meeting's over!
(Everyone stare at the boys)
Alice: That was a productive meeting!
Veener: (Normal) Hmmph, fine. Safe travel back to nursing home, fuckers! Kiss my ass! Hahaha! (Leaves the room)
Zeezo: What the hell? We literally just got here.
Oddie: Father?
(Carmillo walks away and Zestia follows him and everyone else leaves the room almost staping on Frankie, and Alice see Zestia and Carmilla enter another room)
Alice: Well, that's interesting. You little egg creature. I have a job for you.
Frankie: Oh, yes, boss.
Alice: Follow them.
(Frankie salutes and enters the other room, back to Vagner, Charles and Angela)
Vagner: Angela! What the actual fuck?!
(They're seem in a sex dungeon)
Angela: No activity requires more trust them BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage. That's their motto. (Points to a poster)
Charles: Angela, love the enthusiasm. But umm, uh...Hmmmm...
Vagner: What makes you think anyone would be into this?
(Hisky purrs with a mister messaging her)
Hisky: Ya know, I...I don't hate this.
(Niffter appears holding a stick)
Niffter: I'm ready to punish some bad girls. (Giggles)
Hisky: Uhh...Nevermind, I-I'm out. (Gets up and walks away)
(Misters surround Charles)
Charles: (Laughs uncomfortably) Okay, hello there. Hi. Um. Hm...(Vagner drags him away)
Vagner: Ugh, can't fucking believe I let you drag us here, Angela. This is disgusting.
Charles: It's no big deal, Vagner. You know, maybe I can just help, uh...
Vagner: No. I told you could trust me. And I'm not gonna let you down. I just need to teach them the way I was taught.
(In a tower roof)
Charles: This is how you learn to trust people?!
(A lot of demons are seen fighting in a bettlefield)
Vagner: (In drill sergeant style) There is nothing stronger than a trust between comrades and arms. Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men! You...(Grabs Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions...(Vagner throws her off the building)
Vagner:...Are gonna survive together! Miss Pentious: AAAAAAHHH!
(Vagner turns to Angela)
Vagner: And you...
Angela: Don't you even think about it...
Vagner: Are make this hotel work! (Vagner throws grabs and throws Angela off the building)
Angela: AAAAAAHHH!
Niffter: (Excitedly) My turn, my turn!
(Hisky get out of the roof, Vagner grabs Niffter, but Charles catches him)
Charles: Vagner, no!
Vagner: This is the only way they'll learn, Charles.
Charles: No, it's not. There are other ways. It just take time.
Vagner: Time we don't have. How many exterminations will have to gone by before these idiots get their shit together? How many times we have to watch your people be killed before we make headway?
Charles: Vagner...
Vagner: I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm suppose to make your dreams a reality. I'm suppose to protect you. I'm suppose to never fail you. (Leans on the edge of the terrace)
Angela: I blame you for this you crazy bitch!
Charles: You didn't fail me, Vagner...You're not...
Vagner: If I can't help you, what's the point of me?
Charles: (Gasps) Vagner, don't say that! You do so much! It's...
Vagner: I'm sorry. I'd like to be alone for a minute.
(Charles turns away from Vagner and see Angela grabbing Miss Pentious in her back getting in the roof and Angela throws Pentious in the ground)
Angela: Made it.
Charles: Let's go home, guys.
Angela: Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs. (Grabs Miss Pentious and pulls her following Charles)
(In Carmillo's office, he pulls himself a drink)
Carmillo: Ay, que barbaridad. (Drinks from a bottle)
Zestia: Carmillo, what troubles thou? Loosing thy composure is unlike thee.
Carmillo: (Sighs) It's nothing, Zestia. Really.
Zestia: The felled angel...'Twas by thy hand, was it not?
Carmillo: Let's not talk abou it. (Walks away)
Clarence: Dad, maybe she should know.
Carmillo: Nobody should know. (Sits in his desk) I did what to do. I am not discussing this. (Zestia puts her hand in his shoulder)
Zestia: (Singing) What weighs on your soul, old friend? I implore you to share the load. If it was thou who slew the angel, why not let your strength be known?
Carmillo: (Singing) I always thought, that I would keep blood off my face. But when that thing attacked, I had to act, to cross that line and keep them safe. But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war and who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for! So I! I'll be your keeper! (Hugs his sons) Do whatever it takes! I'll make the mistakes! I'll keep you safe and keep this secret!
(Meanwhile, Vagner climbs the outside of the hotel)
Vagner: (Singing) When I saw your face, you made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place and it felt so good to be understood. But there's so much I wished that I could say. So I...I'll be your armor, do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll spend my life being your partner.
Carmillo: And I don't know what we might face, But I know I can't replace you so I'll do anything to save you!
Vagner: And I will try to make your dreams come true!
Vagner and Carmillo: Whatever we go through. I know I....
Carmillo: I'll be your keeper
Vagner: I'll be your armor!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
Carmillo: I'll make the mistakes!
Vagner: I'll make the mistakes!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
(Meanwhile, some of the Egg Girls are dumpster diving)
Egg Girl #3: Ooohh. This smells like fun. Ooh, I love garbage.
(Frankie get out of the elevator and Alice stops her)
Alice: So, what did you hear?
Frankie: First, the old woman w-was all "you're not yourself, you're the one who killed the angel" a-a-and the he was all (Singing) Whatever it takes!
Alice: And then what was that last thing?
Frankie: He killed the angel?
Alice: Interesting. Let's keep this between us, shall we?
Frankie: You got it, boss!
(At the hotel, Vagner finds Charles at the hotel)
Vagner: Hey.
Charles: Hey.
Vagner: I'm sorry I got so crazy today.
Charles: No, no, I'm sorry. I'm put pressure on you. We work as a team. I guess I just thought all this would be easier, but we'll figure it out...Together. I mean, look what your exercise did for them.
(In the sitting room below everyone is laughing)
Angela: And then when that buff girl started beating the shit outta you.
Miss Pentious: Ha ha! Yeah, with the desmembered arm. Yes, that, was, particularly unpleasent.
Niffter: He he. I liked that part.
Hisky: Well hey, at least you can take a beating like a champ. You did okay, new kid.
Miss Pentious: Really? Oh, well, I suppose I did get into a little of the old rough and tumblr today. (Laughs) And, uh...Thank you for pullinh me out of there. (Angela staps her back)
(Everyone laugh and giggle, the girls stop, but Niffter keeps laughing manically)
Vagner: Well, how about that?
(Alice returns)
Vagner: Alice. Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.
Alice: Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful.
Vagner: Why don't you give them back to Pentious?
Miss Pentious: Really?
Vagner: Yeah. After today, I guess I can trust you with them. But seriously, no more weapons.
Miss Pentious: Ahhhh! (Hugs the Egg Girls) My eggs! Yeah. Oh, it's so good to have you back. Now go clean my quarters this instant!
Charles: Maybe things will move faster than you think.
(In Pentious' room)
Miss Pentious: Ah! How was your day with Alastor, my minions?
Frankie: It was awesome, boss. I went to this meeting and there was a knife guy, an old lady and a dinosaur.
Miss Pentious: Umm. That's nice.
Frnkie: And the knife guy killed an angel. And I was not suppose to be talking about it.
Miss Pentious: Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow. Bit now it's time to sleep. Good night, Eggies. (The egg women sleep over her and they all go to sleep)
(The end credits start playing)
submitted by Haunting-Band-2763 to hazbin [link] [comments]
Charles: That looks perfect! (Screams excitedly) I am so excited that Miss Pentious is staying at the hotel!
Vagner: Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with her weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago.
Charles: Well, I haven't seen her try to pull any of that here.
(The cat runs from Miss Pentious pushing a giant ray gun)
Vagner: What the hell is that?!
Miss Pentious: Oh, hello, purple male. It's my new invention: the Skin Flayer 11,000! I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents.
Charles: What? Why?
Miss Pentious: Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they're planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be prepared! Ooh, the new parts of my machines are here!
(Two boys enter the hotel with a bunch of box in a cart)
Oddie: Sign here, please. (Gives a clipboard and pen to Miss Pentious, she signs it and give it back) Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase.
Vagner: Carmine? As in Carmillo Carmine? You are buying parts from an overlord?
Miss Pentious: Uh, of course. He's the top weapons dealer in Hell.
Vagner: Okay, well, that stops right now. (Gets the kart with the boxes from Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Hey!
Vagner: You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel! No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice beacause they they want you to feel welcome.
(Miss Pentious looks at the bar Hisky and Angela give her the middle finger and Niffter smiles and laughs creepily to her)
Miss Pentious: I have my doubts.
Vagner: Well it's true. You have to trust us.
Miss Pentious: But I don't.
Charles: Well, why don't we focus on that for today's activities?
Vagner: Not before we lay some ground rules: no more building weapons, no more plotting against the other guests and you need to get rid of these things.
(One of the Egg Girls shoots a laser at the roof and breaks it)
Vagner: Ah! What did I just say? What did I just say?
Miss Pentious: What? Not my little Egg Girls! They do my evil bidding for my.
Vagner: Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?
Miss Pentious: Yes?
Vagner: Then, no more eggs!
Miss Pentious: Alright, eggies. You've got to go. I (Sniffs) can't keep you anymore.
Egg Girl #1: Okay, boss!
Miss Pentious: No, don't resist, this is how it has to be.
(The egg girls follow Vagner and Miss Pentious cries sterically with Charles patting her)
(Alice is seen eating a dead deer with fork and knife in a table in the middle of a swamp)
Vagner: Alice!
(The screen moves showing the swamp in a room and Vagner at the door)
Alice: Do you mind? I'm in the middle of breakfast.
Vagner: Pentious' eggs are all over the place and I need you to get rid of them.
Alice: Oh! Well, in that case, I'd be delighted to!
Vagner: Humanely!
Alice: Um. Well, that's a lot less fun. But I suppose I can take care of that on my outing today. (Leaves her room)
Vagner: Great! (See the dead deer) Oh, this is disgusting.
(At the looby)
Charles: Hi, guys! Thanks for coming! It's been brought to our attention that there maybe a littleeeeeeeee tension at the hotel!
(Miss Pentious grabs Niffter and prepares to shoot him, but Vagner gets her gun)
Vagner: Tension that can be counterproductive to what we're trying to do here.
Charles: We think that this group could really benefit from...(Jumps in front of a lighthing background) Trust exercises!
Vagner: Trust exercises! Oh, shit! (Falls butt down on the ground and Charles gets him up)
Charles: Vagner, we rehearse this. (Sighs) We're doing trust exercises!
Hisky: So, um, what's with the whole, uh...This?
(A stage is seen behind Vagner and Charles)
Hisky: I'm not about to put on some show for these fuckings chumps!
Angela: Oh, I will! (Puts her legs in Hisky's) But it's cash up first. And I know that one afford me.
Miss Pentious: Gross! I'd think of it, spider!
Vagner: Right, let's get started. Charles?
Charles: Actually, I thought maybe you could take the lead on this one. I trust everyone, so maybe you'd know better about how to build it properly.
Vagner: What? Uh, I don't know I'm qualified to...
Charles: Oh, come on! It'll be easy, I'm sure you can handle this.
Vagner: Yeah, um, sure. I can handle this, no problem. (Inhales) Alright, so we are starting with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable about yourself and then fall backwards while the rest lf the group catches you, got it? Who wants to go first?
Charles: Ooh! Ooh! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me!
Vagner: Alright, get on up there!
(Charles gets in the stage)
Charles: I...I love you guys. Like, really love you! (Turns around, falls backwards and Vagner catches him)
Vagner: Got you!
Charles: That...Felt...Good! Angela, why don't go next?
Angela: Fine! (Goes to the stage)
Vagner: This time everyone needs to catch her, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you!
Angela: Well, something about myself, huh? Well, how about this? I love to lick...
Hisky: I swear to fuck if you say pussies!
Angela: Lollipops, ya sicko! Get your head head of the gutter! (Falls backwards and Hisky catches her) But ya know? Pussies, too. (Hisky drops her) Ahh! Alright, new girl, you're up.
(A spotlight shines on Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: I don't want to leave without my minions! Nobody catch me. (Falls backwards and Vagner, Charlie and Hisky catch her) Damn it!
Vagner: That's great. Wow, you're slimy. Good job. Uh, Niffter? (Niffter runs runs past him and gets in the stage)
Niffter: Sometimes, I kill father bugs in front of their children as a warning to others! (Falls from the stage, everyone backs away and he falls face down in the ground) Yay! Pain! (Gets up, goes to the stage, falls and repeats it) Hehe, pain!
(Charles and Vagner walk away)
Charles: I don't think this really working the way we hoped. Maybe, we should...
Vagner: Honey, you have to trust me here. I got this, okay? I'll figure something out.
Angela: If you're in the market for some ideas, I got just the thing for some trust building.
Vagner: (Sighs) What do you have in mind?
(In the town, Alice is seen walking with the Egg Girls)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, boy! What's the plan, boss?
Egg Girl #2: I like your suit.
Egg Girl #3: What are the antlers for?
Egg Girl #4: Can I touch your staff thing?
Egg Girl #5: Are those your ears or is it your hair? I can't tell.
(A tall woman appears in front of Alice)
Zestia: Hark, Alice. How fare thee this day?
Egg Girl #1: Who's that boss? Want me to ruff her up for ya?
Alice: Follow in silence if you value your shells! Greetins, Zestia!
Sinner #1: Ahh! Holy shit! (Falls backwards)
Zestia: Ah, the weather did become fine this day!
Sinner #2: Oh! Uh-oh! (Hides in the garbage)
Alice: Indeed! Looks like we might have some acid rain this afternoon!
(A demon screams, covers her in gas and combustes her in flames)n
Zestia: If our luck doth hold. I do reveal in the screams. How art thou? (Walks with Alice) It's been an ages since thou hath graced us with thy presence. Some hath spun wild tales of you falling to...Holy arms.
Alice: (Laughs) Oh, I just took a well earned sabatical, nothing serious. Though is fun to keep everyone on their toes. Ha ha!
Zestia: (Chuckles) There too hath been rumor of thy involvement with the prince and his flight of fancy. Tell me, how does thou fall in such folly?
Alice: That is for me to know. But please, do guess, I'd love to hear the theories!
Zestia: (Chuckles) T'would be grander folly by far to assume the workings of your mind, Alice. Thou hath been naught but an enigma since thy manifested in this realm.
Alice: Coming from someone as ancient as you I take that as quite the complement!
(They walk into an alley, pass through a security cam and Alice statics it, the girls get in an elevator and Alice prevents the egg girls from entering with her staff)
Alice: No, no. I have a very important task for you: stay here and guard the front until I return.
(The Egg Girls salute Alice, the elevator closes and goes up)
Egg Girl #1: Oh, look, Frankie is up there!
Egg Girl #2: We have names?
(In the top the building, the elevator doors open and Zestial, Alice and Frankie get out of it, Frankie sees a blck eyes man and a blue skull woman saluting and a dinosaur guy come ou of an elevator and all of them enter a room with a table and chairs and Frankie hides behind Alice, the black eyes man see her, she waves at him and he smiles showing his teeth and she hides scared, and a man appears at the end of the table with the delivery boys from later)
Carmillo: Welcome, Hell's sovereign overlords. I invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with a new extermination schedul. We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact. (See Zestia sitting at his side) Zestia, so good to see you my friend.
Zestia: Encanted as always, Carmillo.
Carmillo: Alice?
Alice: Yes, I know, I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering.
Carmillo: Not really. But welcome back in ay case. (Snaps fingers and Oddie gives him a clipboard) This year's extermination was brutal. Far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost. With the Angelic Legions returning twice as quickly, I think is prudent that we...
(Veener quicks the door and everyone looks at him)
Veener: (At the phone) Yes, I've got it handled, Vix. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. Ha ha ha! Yes, I know, they're all a joke. (Laughs) Thank you, Vee. (Kisses) Kisses, darling!
Carmillo: Nice of you to join us, Veener. Will your colleagues be joining?
Veener: No. They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag that thinks he's tough shit. I'm here to represent.
Carmillo: Charming. (Veener puts a poop filter on him) So, as I was saying, we need to discuss...
(Veener raises and shakes his hand)
Carmillo: Yes?
Veener: On the subject of discussion. (Throws an angel head in the table)
(Everyone gasps)
Alice: Ooh! Tasty!
Carmillo: Where did you get this?
Veener: We found it during the extermination day. If these holy rollers can be killed, the game has changed. We can take the fight to them. The girls and I have come up with a full assault plan...
(Everyone hears sipping noises, and look at Zestia drinking tea loudly and she puts the cup in the table)
Zestia: If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war, with such meagre proof. Thou art far more foolish than I be thought.
Veener: (Scoffs) "Meagre proof"? It's a dead fucking exorcist! I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive! You're going blind, old woman?
Zestia: We know not how this perished. Mayhaps it was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing might, they purge all of Hell for ding an uprising.
(Everyone mutters in agreement and Veener looks to Carmillo worried)
Veener: Oh! I get it. So grandma is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right?
(Zestia gets angry)
Veener: Oh, what's the matter, fossil? To senile to make a real power grab for...
Carmillo: (Singing) You better show some respect! Check your behavior! No one speaks too Zestia that way! Did you expect us to sir baxk and rake your insolent brazen display?
Veener: Haha! (Singing) You've got it twisted! I'm not the one who needs a attitude! Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch and I will do nothing else then what I please! Woo! I'm the backbone of the Vees! Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's 'cause no one could respect this. Sorry group attendin', since when are overlords too scared to fight? You're long past trendin'. Sorry, bae, but I ain't swipin' right. You lost your relevance.
Zestia: We can't act without more intelligence!
Veener: Ugh, no wonder I'm so respectless. I could eat you lot for breakfast. You and the Vees are inane and uninformed, Smug wannabes, who don't heed when you've been warned!
Veener: Oops! Did I strike a nerve? 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head, couldn't help but observe that your wrinkled face was turning red! And why are you avoidin' war? That's what the guns you sell are for. Thanks to my being respectless. One thing I'm starting to suspect is. You know why this angel's headless. Do you have a disclosure?
Carmillo: This meeting's over!
(Everyone stare at the boys)
Alice: That was a productive meeting!
Veener: (Normal) Hmmph, fine. Safe travel back to nursing home, fuckers! Kiss my ass! Hahaha! (Leaves the room)
Zeezo: What the hell? We literally just got here.
Oddie: Father?
(Carmillo walks away and Zestia follows him and everyone else leaves the room almost staping on Frankie, and Alice see Zestia and Carmilla enter another room)
Alice: Well, that's interesting. You little egg creature. I have a job for you.
Frankie: Oh, yes, boss.
Alice: Follow them.
(Frankie salutes and enters the other room, back to Vagner, Charles and Angela)
Vagner: Angela! What the actual fuck?!
(They're seem in a sex dungeon)
Angela: No activity requires more trust them BDSM, baby. No bond stronger than those formed through bondage. That's their motto. (Points to a poster)
Charles: Angela, love the enthusiasm. But umm, uh...Hmmmm...
Vagner: What makes you think anyone would be into this?
(Hisky purrs with a mister messaging her)
Hisky: Ya know, I...I don't hate this.
(Niffter appears holding a stick)
Niffter: I'm ready to punish some bad girls. (Giggles)
Hisky: Uhh...Nevermind, I-I'm out. (Gets up and walks away)
(Misters surround Charles)
Charles: (Laughs uncomfortably) Okay, hello there. Hi. Um. Hm...(Vagner drags him away)
Vagner: Ugh, can't fucking believe I let you drag us here, Angela. This is disgusting.
Charles: It's no big deal, Vagner. You know, maybe I can just help, uh...
Vagner: No. I told you could trust me. And I'm not gonna let you down. I just need to teach them the way I was taught.
(In a tower roof)
Charles: This is how you learn to trust people?!
(A lot of demons are seen fighting in a bettlefield)
Vagner: (In drill sergeant style) There is nothing stronger than a trust between comrades and arms. Buckle up, buttercups, because today you boys become men! You...(Grabs Miss Pentious)
Miss Pentious: Wait, wait! I can't fight without my minions...(Vagner throws her off the building)
Vagner:...Are gonna survive together! Miss Pentious: AAAAAAHHH!
(Vagner turns to Angela)
Vagner: And you...
Angela: Don't you even think about it...
Vagner: Are make this hotel work! (Vagner throws grabs and throws Angela off the building)
Angela: AAAAAAHHH!
Niffter: (Excitedly) My turn, my turn!
(Hisky get out of the roof, Vagner grabs Niffter, but Charles catches him)
Charles: Vagner, no!
Vagner: This is the only way they'll learn, Charles.
Charles: No, it's not. There are other ways. It just take time.
Vagner: Time we don't have. How many exterminations will have to gone by before these idiots get their shit together? How many times we have to watch your people be killed before we make headway?
Charles: Vagner...
Vagner: I took charge today and it all went sideways. I'm suppose to make your dreams a reality. I'm suppose to protect you. I'm suppose to never fail you. (Leans on the edge of the terrace)
Angela: I blame you for this you crazy bitch!
Charles: You didn't fail me, Vagner...You're not...
Vagner: If I can't help you, what's the point of me?
Charles: (Gasps) Vagner, don't say that! You do so much! It's...
Vagner: I'm sorry. I'd like to be alone for a minute.
(Charles turns away from Vagner and see Angela grabbing Miss Pentious in her back getting in the roof and Angela throws Pentious in the ground)
Angela: Made it.
Charles: Let's go home, guys.
Angela: Ugh! I just walked up all those stairs. (Grabs Miss Pentious and pulls her following Charles)
(In Carmillo's office, he pulls himself a drink)
Carmillo: Ay, que barbaridad. (Drinks from a bottle)
Zestia: Carmillo, what troubles thou? Loosing thy composure is unlike thee.
Carmillo: (Sighs) It's nothing, Zestia. Really.
Zestia: The felled angel...'Twas by thy hand, was it not?
Carmillo: Let's not talk abou it. (Walks away)
Clarence: Dad, maybe she should know.
Carmillo: Nobody should know. (Sits in his desk) I did what to do. I am not discussing this. (Zestia puts her hand in his shoulder)
Zestia: (Singing) What weighs on your soul, old friend? I implore you to share the load. If it was thou who slew the angel, why not let your strength be known?
Carmillo: (Singing) I always thought, that I would keep blood off my face. But when that thing attacked, I had to act, to cross that line and keep them safe. But if anyone knew, then all of Hell would rise to war and who's to say who'd survive the fray? I might lose the ones that I was killing for! So I! I'll be your keeper! (Hugs his sons) Do whatever it takes! I'll make the mistakes! I'll keep you safe and keep this secret!
(Meanwhile, Vagner climbs the outside of the hotel)
Vagner: (Singing) When I saw your face, you made me feel like a stranger in a brand new place and it felt so good to be understood. But there's so much I wished that I could say. So I...I'll be your armor, do whatever it takes, I'll make the mistakes, I'll spend my life being your partner.
Carmillo: And I don't know what we might face, But I know I can't replace you so I'll do anything to save you!
Vagner: And I will try to make your dreams come true!
Vagner and Carmillo: Whatever we go through. I know I....
Carmillo: I'll be your keeper
Vagner: I'll be your armor!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
Carmillo: I'll make the mistakes!
Vagner: I'll make the mistakes!
Carmillo and Vagner: Whatever it takes!
(Meanwhile, some of the Egg Girls are dumpster diving)
Egg Girl #3: Ooohh. This smells like fun. Ooh, I love garbage.
(Frankie get out of the elevator and Alice stops her)
Alice: So, what did you hear?
Frankie: First, the old woman w-was all "you're not yourself, you're the one who killed the angel" a-a-and the he was all (Singing) Whatever it takes!
Alice: And then what was that last thing?
Frankie: He killed the angel?
Alice: Interesting. Let's keep this between us, shall we?
Frankie: You got it, boss!
(At the hotel, Vagner finds Charles at the hotel)
Vagner: Hey.
Charles: Hey.
Vagner: I'm sorry I got so crazy today.
Charles: No, no, I'm sorry. I'm put pressure on you. We work as a team. I guess I just thought all this would be easier, but we'll figure it out...Together. I mean, look what your exercise did for them.
(In the sitting room below everyone is laughing)
Angela: And then when that buff girl started beating the shit outta you.
Miss Pentious: Ha ha! Yeah, with the desmembered arm. Yes, that, was, particularly unpleasent.
Niffter: He he. I liked that part.
Hisky: Well hey, at least you can take a beating like a champ. You did okay, new kid.
Miss Pentious: Really? Oh, well, I suppose I did get into a little of the old rough and tumblr today. (Laughs) And, uh...Thank you for pullinh me out of there. (Angela staps her back)
(Everyone laugh and giggle, the girls stop, but Niffter keeps laughing manically)
Vagner: Well, how about that?
(Alice returns)
Vagner: Alice. Failed to get rid of the eggs, I see.
Alice: Yes, well, the little monsters prove to be rather useful.
Vagner: Why don't you give them back to Pentious?
Miss Pentious: Really?
Vagner: Yeah. After today, I guess I can trust you with them. But seriously, no more weapons.
Miss Pentious: Ahhhh! (Hugs the Egg Girls) My eggs! Yeah. Oh, it's so good to have you back. Now go clean my quarters this instant!
Charles: Maybe things will move faster than you think.
(In Pentious' room)
Miss Pentious: Ah! How was your day with Alastor, my minions?
Frankie: It was awesome, boss. I went to this meeting and there was a knife guy, an old lady and a dinosaur.
Miss Pentious: Umm. That's nice.
Frnkie: And the knife guy killed an angel. And I was not suppose to be talking about it.
Miss Pentious: Oh, I'm so sure and maybe you'll meet martians tomorrow. Bit now it's time to sleep. Good night, Eggies. (The egg women sleep over her and they all go to sleep)
(The end credits start playing)
2024.06.01 16:11 Salaminja Coughing after surgery?
Hi everyone, I just wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this. It’s giving me some medical anxiety like I’m going to develop pneumonia or something. A little background that I think is relevant - My surgery was initially scheduled for the 22nd of May but on the 13th I started to get sick. By the 15th I lost my voice and was completely miserable. I had a sinus infection with a double ear infection. So they did not want to move forward with the surgery as planned and it was rescheduled for the 30th of May which was this past Thursday. I was still coughing (but hardly at all, a couple times in the morning and a couple at night with maybe 2-3 during the day). And they were (I apologize for the tmi) productive coughs still but no discoloration or anything. So come Thursday (my very first surgery ever so we didn’t know how I’d react or anything) I go under and when I wake up my throat was CRAZY sore. And I said as much and the nurse by my bed told me that they had some issues waking me up and that I was having “spasms”. I was still half out of it so I didn’t ask too many questions. But later around 1pm my surgeon came by to check on me and I asked him what that meant. Apparently when they woke me up and took the tube out of my throat my throat started to spasm and I couldn’t breathe on my own. He compared it to an asthma attack and said I went without oxygen for a few seconds and they used meds and stuff to help me. Anyway, they attributed my sore throat to that episode. Plus I’ve seen people on here mention a sore throat from intubation anyway. So I already had cough drops and tea on hand (this subreddit was incredibly helpful in planning for what I’d need after). Anyway, since my surgery, my throat has remained uncomfortable/in pain which was expected. But every now and then when I take a breath in it will get caught up on something in my throat. I cough, it’s productive, and it’s reddish brown. I asked my doctor about it (because that really freaked me out) and they assured me that it’s probably no issue. But I’m just wondering if anyone else has had this problem? How long does it take to go away? I have always had poor lungs and I’m so paranoid that it will develop into pneumonia or something.
TLDR; I’ve been having a productive cough after surgery and what it produces is reddish brown. Doctor said it’s probably irritation from intubation and my throat spasms. I fear and am trying to avoid the development of pneumonia. Has anyone else experienced this? How long does it last?
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TLDR; I’ve been having a productive cough after surgery and what it produces is reddish brown. Doctor said it’s probably irritation from intubation and my throat spasms. I fear and am trying to avoid the development of pneumonia. Has anyone else experienced this? How long does it last?
2024.06.01 16:08 Monarch357 Ficnapped: A Warm Gift
Memory transcription subject: Sare, Yotul Rebuilder Date [standardized human time]: January 31st, 2136
I pulled the hoodie tighter around myself. It had only gotten colder over the past few days; I’d taken multiple chances to thank Gavin for his gift. Every time I passed the human, I saw a grin spread across his face, and I felt something flutter in my stomach. I managed to keep myself composed enough as he joined me in the vegan line once again.
“You actually like this stuff?” I asked. I gestured to the rest of the extraterrestrials in the line. “I don’t think any of us do.”
He shrugged. “It’s different, at least. Two months of ham and cheese sandwiches does something to a man.”
I stared at him for a moment. He looked at me with a soft gaze and a slight smile, and I found myself admiring his eyes and the way his beanie-formed hair draped over them. His expression morphed to confusion, however, and he waved his hand at me.
“Earth to Sare? Are you… looking for something?”
I realized I’d just been standing there staring for a solid twenty seconds and I flushed deep green, pulling my scarf over my face. “I- uh, I’m alright, yeah! I’m just-” I wove my paws around futilely as if I could speak with them. I gestured for Gavin to move ahead of me in the line, and he let out a small laugh as he walked past to pick up his meal. I followed shortly behind him, my face burning.
Today’s meal was some emulation of venlil cuisine. It was… alright, for something made by non-venlil chefs, but I’d had better in Earth’s vegan food. Gavin, however, seemed pretty excited by it.
“As long as I’ve worked here, I haven’t had much alien food.” He took a bite from his meal and continued speaking as he chewed. “Not bad. I think I prefer yotul food, though,” he said, musing as he looked off into the distance.
I piped up excitedly at that. “I could make you something!”
“You can?” he asked, genuine intrigue in his voice. “What could you do?”
Shit.
There really wasn’t a lot of even human food available to cook with, let alone imports from Leirn that I was familiar with, but I felt like I needed to repay Gavin with something, at least.
“Uh-, well, there’s a type of salad back home I might be able to make with stuff here. Um… I don’t think it’d be very good, but-”
“Ah, don’t worry about that. Anything handmade is great if you put your heart into it,” he said, his tone reassuring and a smile on his face. I absentmindedly fiddled with the drawstrings of my hoodie as he took a few more bites from his lunch; a few moments passed before he looked at me and flushed a bit, then quickly finished his meal. I stared off into the distance, nothing in particular on my mind as I ate, but I saw Gavin hurry off to the administrator’s office. I downed my food and followed him with a brisk walk.
“What’s the rush?”
He looked me over for a moment before letting out a breath I couldn’t tell he was holding. “There’s still a lot of work to do today, y’know? It’s going to be cold tonight, and besides, it’s New Year’s Eve. I gotta get my work done quick so I have tonight free.”
We both paused for a moment. “What do humans do for the new year?” I asked.
“Normally, the tradition is to set off a bunch of fireworks- oh, those are like little explosive things-”
“There’s some great firework shows on Leirn,” I explained. “We’ve got ‘em too.” I could show you some hung on the tip of my tongue, something I deeply wanted to say but held myself back on.
“Oh, sweet! Anyway, yeah, that’s the usual thing, plus some typical family gathering and partying, but, uh… I don’t think anybody here could handle fireworks right now,” he continued, his expression trailing into something morose I couldn’t quite read. “But really, first and foremost, it’s about spending time with people you care about.”
“Guess we got that in common, then,” I added. “Where I’m from, it’s summer during the new year, so during the day, we spend time at beaches, usually, sometimes going on trips to somewhere cooler the day before. I’m not religious myself, but followers of Ralchi have a sort of traditional bonfire past sundown for the new year that most people recreate.”
“That’d be nice.”
“Yeah…” I mused. “Haven’t done anything like it in a while, and it’d be nice to spend a night around people I care about again…”
Gavin just looked at me.
“Hm?”
“Nothing,” he said, quickly perking up. “C’mon. We’ve got stuff to do today.”
I nodded, and he led us off down the road to the suburbia we’d been cleaning up the past few weeks. Some other workers from the camp had tagged along; from chats between them, the peacekeepers in charge had directed anyone wanting a lighter day for the new year down this road.
I jogged a bit forward to catch up to Gavin ahead, only slowing my pace as I stepped to his side. He glanced at me for only a moment before offering a hand to hold, which I took. I felt my tail beat against the asphalt below us a few times before I got my heart under control.
“What’re we doing today?” I asked after a comfortable silence.
“Cleanup, mostly. UN wants this place cleared of debris for rebuilding.”
“That sounds… impossible, honestly. There’s just so much wreckage,” I said, a sense of exhaustion already creeping into my voice before we even got to work. I sighed. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
He shrugged. “Even if it’s impossible, why not? Maybe we won’t clean out everything, but we’re still cleaning out something, and that’s better than nothing.”
“I just… I don’t know. How’s it better than nothing if we can barely make a dent in all the garbage?”
“Well, look at it this way. A hundred thousand people used to live here-” he waved his hand in a wide arc over the townscape around us- “-and maybe we’ll never see more than ten grand again. But so what? Even if we only get five thousand people back in these houses, that’s still infinitely better than zero. You know?”
“...Yeah. Yeah, I guess I know.”
Gavin smiled. It was a warm grin, an expression I never wanted to see end, and a smile spread across my own face. “You feeling better?”
“Definitely.”
He put his arm around my shoulder in a quick hug that I reciprocated. “Let’s get going, then.”
Some of the group hung back to direct the debris-moving vehicles down into the deeper wreckage, but most of us, Gavin and myself included, focused on the smaller things; as inconsequential as it was, the light labor and simple repetition of shoveling up garbage felt rather therapeutic.
It didn’t take too long before a sort of pessimism started again. By the time a few hours had passed, my arms ached, my legs felt sore, and while seeing what we’d cleaned was encouraging, it felt dwarfed in the face of the mountains of concrete dust and shattered debris that still coated the town. I sighed, taking a seat on some of the more solid debris, feeling my tail sweep up loose dust. Gavin glanced back at me before setting down his own tools and taking a seat as well.
“This sucks,” he said after a few seconds of odd, semi-comfortable-semi-awkward silence.
“Yeah.”
The human nodded as if we’d just made some as yet unknown revelation, then let out a short laugh. I did, too, my laugh lasting perhaps a bit too long before I felt something crumple and a few tears slipped out of my eyes.
“Still gotta do it, though, y’know?”
I glanced back at him. Afternoon light glinted off the tears forming in his own eyes as he looked at me with a small smile of his own; despite the wetness accumulating on his cheeks, he took the chance to wipe my eyes with warm, gentle hands. I pressed at the tears on his own face and he flinched back, muttering watch the fur under his breath. I snickered a bit at his reaction.
“Still gotta do it,” I said. He nodded in response.
“But you don’t gotta do everything.”
“Yeah. Something’s enough,” he said, his voice trailing off as he looked over the areas we’d cleaned from a tiny portion of the city sprawl. The sound of machinery and the occasional working song echoed off the concrete and asphalt as we watched our comrades work in silence.
Even under the cold of the late day, the something had kept me warm, and before long, we’d reconvened at the headquarters for dinner. Unlike the morning, however, Gavin went for the human food line, and I opted to follow him.
“...Can you even eat this stuff?” he asked, pointing at the (at this point, comedically predictable) ham-and-cheese sandwiches that the cooks were handing out. One of them mirrored his sentiment, cocking their head and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“I… think? We weren’t cured, so it won’t kill me. Probably.”
He shrugged. Two sandwiches came, and he rifled through the bag at his side for an anti-allergy injector. “Don’t be stupid,” he said, tucking it into his pocket for quick access.
“This whole idea is pretty stupid,” I commented.
“Be… only a little bit stupid.”
We laughed as we sat down. I set my sandwich down and watched Gavin pick up his and take a bite, staring at him in fascination before realizing that this probably wasn’t something to be particularly fascinated by. Still, it was a pretty novel experience, nonetheless; I didn’t eat meat, and for the majority of my time on Earth, any meal time was separated between those who did and those who didn’t.
I took a tentative bite of the sandwich, which, thinking about it in a vacuum, is a rather strange way to think about one’s dinner, but I was certainly nervous in the moment.
“It’s… interesting,” I said, both meat and dairy decidedly unfamiliar tastes to me. The most familiar part was the saltiness, but this felt less like the mild flavor of roasted root vegetables and more like shoving seawater into my mouth. The texture was perhaps the most familiar part, albeit still strange; it reminded me most of Rinsan fiberfruit, but its taste made it surprisingly hard to swallow.
“‘Interesting’ as in… ‘good’?” Gavin asked. “‘Interesting’ as in ‘you’re not experiencing anaphylactic shock right now’?”
“I wouldn’t say good, but I don’t think I’d say bad or trying to kill me either,” I commented after forcing down another bite.
“You don’t have to finish that, you know.”
“I’m committed," I retorted. It wasn’t inedible, at least, and the newness of the experience alone made it worth it.
After washing the flavor down with a copious amount of water, Gavin and I decided to get some rest a bit early; the winter sun had already crept low to the horizon and the work of the day set in. We could squeeze in a few hours of rest before seeing whatever festivities had been set up for the new year. My quarters weren’t too far from the canteen; if nothing else, the UN at least had the resources for all of us to get individual rooms, albeit small ones. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Some indistinct time passed before a small snore woke me up. This wasn’t uncommon, given the thin walls of the pre-fab shacks we slept in, but I craned my head up to a lump on the floor, rather than a particularly loud sleeper elsewhere waking me. It took me a second to resolve it in the dark, but their large stature and ruffled hair meant they were a human, and the guess came naturally: Gavin.
He’d brought his own blankets and made himself a nest on my floor. My half-asleep head thought it wouldn’t be too bad; I bundled up the pillows and blankets from my own bed and tossed them on the floor in a disorganized heap, even worse than Gavin’s pile, and dropped onto it. He shuffled, grunted a bit, and turned over on his side, putting a reassuring arm over my shoulders. We both fell back asleep in that comfort almost instantly.
What finally woke us was the sound outside. A general din of activity grew loud enough to make it into my room, and Gavin rose before me, shaking my shoulder to wake me up in turn.
“Think it’s almost time,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stretched, standing on his feet and reaching the ceiling before offering his hand to pick me up. I took it and he led me by that hand forward, out to the people gathered.
The gathering wasn’t too big, but it was a hearty one, nonetheless. It was a mixture of humans, venlil, yotul, and the occasional other species assisting in the city, gathered in circles around campfires dotting the street and camp we lived in. I pointed one of the fires out; it was ringed by predominantly yotul, and I recognized the new year flame structure familiar to Leirn. One of the yotul there noticed us and waved us over to take seats with them.
Gavin sat near the fire, and I laid over him, my head resting in his lap as the small campfire burned in front of us. A quick glance around showed that we weren’t the only ones inching this close to the fire; my mind flashed back to memories of Leirn, of watching ceremonial bonfires burn and singing songs of home and history, even after the Federation arrived, and I felt myself start to tear up.
I don’t know if Gavin saw, or felt, or even knew at all, but I felt a strong hand rub the side of my head, scratch a bit behind my ears. I flinched a bit on instinct.
Gavin stammered a bit. “Uh- you- um, that alright?”
“...Yeah.”
He resumed, and I felt my eyes gradually flutter closed to the sound of the fire crackling and a breeze blowing, his other arm wrapping around me. The night should’ve been freezing, but I felt the warmth of something stronger than cold wind and a dark night.
There was a brief bit of pressure on the top of my head. I picked myself up and planted a kiss in return on his cheek, laying back in his lap, his arm tightening closer around me. Three short words were all that remained.
“I love you.”
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I pulled the hoodie tighter around myself. It had only gotten colder over the past few days; I’d taken multiple chances to thank Gavin for his gift. Every time I passed the human, I saw a grin spread across his face, and I felt something flutter in my stomach. I managed to keep myself composed enough as he joined me in the vegan line once again.
“You actually like this stuff?” I asked. I gestured to the rest of the extraterrestrials in the line. “I don’t think any of us do.”
He shrugged. “It’s different, at least. Two months of ham and cheese sandwiches does something to a man.”
I stared at him for a moment. He looked at me with a soft gaze and a slight smile, and I found myself admiring his eyes and the way his beanie-formed hair draped over them. His expression morphed to confusion, however, and he waved his hand at me.
“Earth to Sare? Are you… looking for something?”
I realized I’d just been standing there staring for a solid twenty seconds and I flushed deep green, pulling my scarf over my face. “I- uh, I’m alright, yeah! I’m just-” I wove my paws around futilely as if I could speak with them. I gestured for Gavin to move ahead of me in the line, and he let out a small laugh as he walked past to pick up his meal. I followed shortly behind him, my face burning.
Today’s meal was some emulation of venlil cuisine. It was… alright, for something made by non-venlil chefs, but I’d had better in Earth’s vegan food. Gavin, however, seemed pretty excited by it.
“As long as I’ve worked here, I haven’t had much alien food.” He took a bite from his meal and continued speaking as he chewed. “Not bad. I think I prefer yotul food, though,” he said, musing as he looked off into the distance.
I piped up excitedly at that. “I could make you something!”
“You can?” he asked, genuine intrigue in his voice. “What could you do?”
Shit.
There really wasn’t a lot of even human food available to cook with, let alone imports from Leirn that I was familiar with, but I felt like I needed to repay Gavin with something, at least.
“Uh-, well, there’s a type of salad back home I might be able to make with stuff here. Um… I don’t think it’d be very good, but-”
“Ah, don’t worry about that. Anything handmade is great if you put your heart into it,” he said, his tone reassuring and a smile on his face. I absentmindedly fiddled with the drawstrings of my hoodie as he took a few more bites from his lunch; a few moments passed before he looked at me and flushed a bit, then quickly finished his meal. I stared off into the distance, nothing in particular on my mind as I ate, but I saw Gavin hurry off to the administrator’s office. I downed my food and followed him with a brisk walk.
“What’s the rush?”
He looked me over for a moment before letting out a breath I couldn’t tell he was holding. “There’s still a lot of work to do today, y’know? It’s going to be cold tonight, and besides, it’s New Year’s Eve. I gotta get my work done quick so I have tonight free.”
We both paused for a moment. “What do humans do for the new year?” I asked.
“Normally, the tradition is to set off a bunch of fireworks- oh, those are like little explosive things-”
“There’s some great firework shows on Leirn,” I explained. “We’ve got ‘em too.” I could show you some hung on the tip of my tongue, something I deeply wanted to say but held myself back on.
“Oh, sweet! Anyway, yeah, that’s the usual thing, plus some typical family gathering and partying, but, uh… I don’t think anybody here could handle fireworks right now,” he continued, his expression trailing into something morose I couldn’t quite read. “But really, first and foremost, it’s about spending time with people you care about.”
“Guess we got that in common, then,” I added. “Where I’m from, it’s summer during the new year, so during the day, we spend time at beaches, usually, sometimes going on trips to somewhere cooler the day before. I’m not religious myself, but followers of Ralchi have a sort of traditional bonfire past sundown for the new year that most people recreate.”
“That’d be nice.”
“Yeah…” I mused. “Haven’t done anything like it in a while, and it’d be nice to spend a night around people I care about again…”
Gavin just looked at me.
“Hm?”
“Nothing,” he said, quickly perking up. “C’mon. We’ve got stuff to do today.”
I nodded, and he led us off down the road to the suburbia we’d been cleaning up the past few weeks. Some other workers from the camp had tagged along; from chats between them, the peacekeepers in charge had directed anyone wanting a lighter day for the new year down this road.
I jogged a bit forward to catch up to Gavin ahead, only slowing my pace as I stepped to his side. He glanced at me for only a moment before offering a hand to hold, which I took. I felt my tail beat against the asphalt below us a few times before I got my heart under control.
“What’re we doing today?” I asked after a comfortable silence.
“Cleanup, mostly. UN wants this place cleared of debris for rebuilding.”
“That sounds… impossible, honestly. There’s just so much wreckage,” I said, a sense of exhaustion already creeping into my voice before we even got to work. I sighed. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
He shrugged. “Even if it’s impossible, why not? Maybe we won’t clean out everything, but we’re still cleaning out something, and that’s better than nothing.”
“I just… I don’t know. How’s it better than nothing if we can barely make a dent in all the garbage?”
“Well, look at it this way. A hundred thousand people used to live here-” he waved his hand in a wide arc over the townscape around us- “-and maybe we’ll never see more than ten grand again. But so what? Even if we only get five thousand people back in these houses, that’s still infinitely better than zero. You know?”
“...Yeah. Yeah, I guess I know.”
Gavin smiled. It was a warm grin, an expression I never wanted to see end, and a smile spread across my own face. “You feeling better?”
“Definitely.”
He put his arm around my shoulder in a quick hug that I reciprocated. “Let’s get going, then.”
Some of the group hung back to direct the debris-moving vehicles down into the deeper wreckage, but most of us, Gavin and myself included, focused on the smaller things; as inconsequential as it was, the light labor and simple repetition of shoveling up garbage felt rather therapeutic.
It didn’t take too long before a sort of pessimism started again. By the time a few hours had passed, my arms ached, my legs felt sore, and while seeing what we’d cleaned was encouraging, it felt dwarfed in the face of the mountains of concrete dust and shattered debris that still coated the town. I sighed, taking a seat on some of the more solid debris, feeling my tail sweep up loose dust. Gavin glanced back at me before setting down his own tools and taking a seat as well.
“This sucks,” he said after a few seconds of odd, semi-comfortable-semi-awkward silence.
“Yeah.”
The human nodded as if we’d just made some as yet unknown revelation, then let out a short laugh. I did, too, my laugh lasting perhaps a bit too long before I felt something crumple and a few tears slipped out of my eyes.
“Still gotta do it, though, y’know?”
I glanced back at him. Afternoon light glinted off the tears forming in his own eyes as he looked at me with a small smile of his own; despite the wetness accumulating on his cheeks, he took the chance to wipe my eyes with warm, gentle hands. I pressed at the tears on his own face and he flinched back, muttering watch the fur under his breath. I snickered a bit at his reaction.
“Still gotta do it,” I said. He nodded in response.
“But you don’t gotta do everything.”
“Yeah. Something’s enough,” he said, his voice trailing off as he looked over the areas we’d cleaned from a tiny portion of the city sprawl. The sound of machinery and the occasional working song echoed off the concrete and asphalt as we watched our comrades work in silence.
Even under the cold of the late day, the something had kept me warm, and before long, we’d reconvened at the headquarters for dinner. Unlike the morning, however, Gavin went for the human food line, and I opted to follow him.
“...Can you even eat this stuff?” he asked, pointing at the (at this point, comedically predictable) ham-and-cheese sandwiches that the cooks were handing out. One of them mirrored his sentiment, cocking their head and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“I… think? We weren’t cured, so it won’t kill me. Probably.”
He shrugged. Two sandwiches came, and he rifled through the bag at his side for an anti-allergy injector. “Don’t be stupid,” he said, tucking it into his pocket for quick access.
“This whole idea is pretty stupid,” I commented.
“Be… only a little bit stupid.”
We laughed as we sat down. I set my sandwich down and watched Gavin pick up his and take a bite, staring at him in fascination before realizing that this probably wasn’t something to be particularly fascinated by. Still, it was a pretty novel experience, nonetheless; I didn’t eat meat, and for the majority of my time on Earth, any meal time was separated between those who did and those who didn’t.
I took a tentative bite of the sandwich, which, thinking about it in a vacuum, is a rather strange way to think about one’s dinner, but I was certainly nervous in the moment.
“It’s… interesting,” I said, both meat and dairy decidedly unfamiliar tastes to me. The most familiar part was the saltiness, but this felt less like the mild flavor of roasted root vegetables and more like shoving seawater into my mouth. The texture was perhaps the most familiar part, albeit still strange; it reminded me most of Rinsan fiberfruit, but its taste made it surprisingly hard to swallow.
“‘Interesting’ as in… ‘good’?” Gavin asked. “‘Interesting’ as in ‘you’re not experiencing anaphylactic shock right now’?”
“I wouldn’t say good, but I don’t think I’d say bad or trying to kill me either,” I commented after forcing down another bite.
“You don’t have to finish that, you know.”
“I’m committed," I retorted. It wasn’t inedible, at least, and the newness of the experience alone made it worth it.
After washing the flavor down with a copious amount of water, Gavin and I decided to get some rest a bit early; the winter sun had already crept low to the horizon and the work of the day set in. We could squeeze in a few hours of rest before seeing whatever festivities had been set up for the new year. My quarters weren’t too far from the canteen; if nothing else, the UN at least had the resources for all of us to get individual rooms, albeit small ones. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.
Some indistinct time passed before a small snore woke me up. This wasn’t uncommon, given the thin walls of the pre-fab shacks we slept in, but I craned my head up to a lump on the floor, rather than a particularly loud sleeper elsewhere waking me. It took me a second to resolve it in the dark, but their large stature and ruffled hair meant they were a human, and the guess came naturally: Gavin.
He’d brought his own blankets and made himself a nest on my floor. My half-asleep head thought it wouldn’t be too bad; I bundled up the pillows and blankets from my own bed and tossed them on the floor in a disorganized heap, even worse than Gavin’s pile, and dropped onto it. He shuffled, grunted a bit, and turned over on his side, putting a reassuring arm over my shoulders. We both fell back asleep in that comfort almost instantly.
What finally woke us was the sound outside. A general din of activity grew loud enough to make it into my room, and Gavin rose before me, shaking my shoulder to wake me up in turn.
“Think it’s almost time,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stretched, standing on his feet and reaching the ceiling before offering his hand to pick me up. I took it and he led me by that hand forward, out to the people gathered.
The gathering wasn’t too big, but it was a hearty one, nonetheless. It was a mixture of humans, venlil, yotul, and the occasional other species assisting in the city, gathered in circles around campfires dotting the street and camp we lived in. I pointed one of the fires out; it was ringed by predominantly yotul, and I recognized the new year flame structure familiar to Leirn. One of the yotul there noticed us and waved us over to take seats with them.
Gavin sat near the fire, and I laid over him, my head resting in his lap as the small campfire burned in front of us. A quick glance around showed that we weren’t the only ones inching this close to the fire; my mind flashed back to memories of Leirn, of watching ceremonial bonfires burn and singing songs of home and history, even after the Federation arrived, and I felt myself start to tear up.
I don’t know if Gavin saw, or felt, or even knew at all, but I felt a strong hand rub the side of my head, scratch a bit behind my ears. I flinched a bit on instinct.
Gavin stammered a bit. “Uh- you- um, that alright?”
“...Yeah.”
He resumed, and I felt my eyes gradually flutter closed to the sound of the fire crackling and a breeze blowing, his other arm wrapping around me. The night should’ve been freezing, but I felt the warmth of something stronger than cold wind and a dark night.
There was a brief bit of pressure on the top of my head. I picked myself up and planted a kiss in return on his cheek, laying back in his lap, his arm tightening closer around me. Three short words were all that remained.
“I love you.”
2024.06.01 16:03 Alternative_Bet_191 TIFU by failing to bring myself to a Ethanol Induced Coma
The day it all happened I was in a bar. It was 11.30am, and it was a Tuesday. I'd left my girlfriend and went for a quick drink, or so I'd told her. I'd been feeling down a lot recently. She was always busy with her friends or work, and never had time for me. I'm not trying to excuse my actions, but I needed something to make myself feel good. I had planned on going home early, but that was before I saw her. She was sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping her white wine. We started talking and she made me laugh. I can't remember how long we were talking, but it seemed like ages. At the time, I'd forgotten about the rest of the world, I was so caught up in our conversation.
Then it happened.
All of a sudden, the bartender dropped a glass, shattering it across the floor. "Watch it!" he shouted at a customer, who'd accidentally bumped into him. Then, he threw the towel he'd been holding onto the counter, and went over to the customer and punched him in the face. It all happened so quickly, I didn't have time to react. The customer stood up, his nose bleeding. He walked towards the bartender and hit him back, knocking him into the wall. A full on fight ensued, as two other men from the crowd joined in. They were throwing punches, and pushing each other to the ground.
The woman I'd been talking to looked scared, and started backing away from the bar.
"What the hell?" she said, her voice wavering.
I stood up, and held her hand. "Come on, let's get out of here."
I led her out of the bar and back to the street. She had a look of terror on her face. I had to calm her down, she looked like she was going to have a panic attack.
"It's ok, I'm here." I told her. "Are you okay?"
She took a deep breath and nodded.
"What was that all about?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe it's stress or something. There's a lot of that going around right now."
Just then, the sound of sirens rang through the air. People were walking quickly by, looking at their phones, trying to find out what was happening. We followed the crowd and ended up in front of a large electronics store. It was closed.
"Do you have your phone?" she asked me.
I checked my pockets, but it wasn't there. I'd left it at the bar.
"Damn, no. I forgot it."
"Shit." she said, and pulled out her own.
The screen was flashing and beeping, and the words "Emergency Broadcast" were displayed.
"Oh no." she said, her face turning white.
I peered over her shoulder at the screen. It read:
Attention citizens. There has been a breach in the security at the local military base. If you see anyone acting strangely or displaying symptoms of the following, report it to the authorities immediately.
Symptoms:
"I have no idea." she replied, her voice shaking.
Suddenly, a scream came from the end of the street. I turned and saw a man running down the sidewalk. He was covered in blood, and screaming at the top of his lungs. A group of people was following him, chasing after him.
"Stay back!" he yelled. "It's not safe! They're coming!"
He ran around a corner and the crowd disappeared.
"He said they're coming. Who's coming?" asked the woman.
"I have no idea. We need to get to the police or someone to help us. Let's get somewhere secure."
We started walking towards the police station when a large group of people appeared around the corner, running towards us. They were screaming and shouting. They were completely out of their minds. The street was filled with men and women, young and old. Some were in bloody clothes, while others were completely naked.
"Run!" the woman screamed.
I grabbed her arm and we both ran for cover. We rounded the corner and started sprinting down the street, dodging past people and cars. Everything was a blur as we ran for our lives. After what felt like an eternity, we reached the police station. The front door was open and a small group of people were running inside. We followed them inside and found ourselves in a crowded lobby. The officer at the desk was yelling into the phone.
"Yes! There's rioting! Send backup now!"
Another officer came out from behind the desk and shouted over the chaos.
"Everyone needs to calm down! The military is sending a convoy to help us secure the city! Just hold tight!"
But people weren't listening. They continued to yell and scream, fighting against each other to get out of the station. I noticed a few people had bruises and cuts from the crowd.
I felt someone grab my arm. It was the woman I'd been with. She looked at me and shook her head.
"I'm scared." she said, her voice trembling.
Then she fell to the ground, crying. I reached down and held her in my arms.
"It's gonna be alright. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."
People were still pushing and shoving their way towards the exit, oblivious to us. I held onto her tightly, not wanting to lose her in the chaos. The sirens outside got louder, until they stopped altogether. I looked through the windows and saw a convoy of military vehicles pull up outside. Soldiers rushed into the station, their guns drawn.
They began shouting orders to the crowd.
"Calm the fuck down! Everyone calm down and leave through the rear entrance! This is not a request, this is an order! Anyone caught rioting or acting violently will be shot on sight! Go through the back, through the alleys, to the designated safe area! No more resistance, this is not a threat, this is a fact, now move, move, move!"
The crowd slowly filed out of the station, and we joined them.
My ears were ringing from the sirens and gunshots, but I did my best to keep moving. There were so many people, and we were forced to keep close together as the crowd funneled down a narrow alleyway. The city was in chaos. Smoke rose from buildings and car alarms blared. Gunshots and screams were everywhere.
We followed the throng of people down the alley until they reached a roadblock.
"This is as far as we can go." a soldier said. "Follow the crowd down this way and find a shelter. Don't wander around on your own, stay in groups if you can. Stay safe."
I looked at the woman and nodded. "C'mon, let's keep moving."
The crowd parted and we pushed through to the front. We soon found ourselves on a road full of burnt out cars and debris. The roadblock was full of soldiers, who directed us towards a football stadium.
The smell of smoke hung in the air as we walked through the streets. I wondered what could've started it all, and why it had ended so quickly.
When we reached the stadium it was full of people, all looking for their loved ones. I scanned the faces, hoping to see my girlfriend. I looked back towards the entrance and saw an old man and woman being helped down from a trolley bus. The lady had a bandage around her head, and her husband had blood on his face. The lady was clutching a broken arm. They hobbled their way slowly to a makeshift aid station. A soldier guided them towards the rest of the wounded.
"Grandma! Grandpa!" a small girl cried out and ran to them. She threw her arms around the woman and hugged her tightly.
A feeling of relief rushed over me, I was so happy they were alive. But at the same time, I couldn't help but think about my own girlfriend. Where was she?
People were sitting on the ground, crying. Others, stood, shell-shocked, looking around. A few people were trying to make small talk, despite everything. They were looking for ways to take their minds off the situation, to cope.
A bus was parked in the middle of the park and there were lines of people waiting in front of it.
"Are you hungry? Do you have any food?" a woman asked me, pushing her child in front of me.
"No, sorry, I don't," I replied, surprised at the desperation in her voice. "I don't have anything."
I looked at the queue, wondering if that was where the line was to get some free food. A woman in a white apron behind a stand marked "First Aid" tried to calm the crowd, raising her voice above the din.
"Everyone, please! Settle down, the military will have more help coming shortly! But for now we're out of supplies and the situation will only worsen if you don't control yourselves!"
Just then, another truck pulled up on the edge of the field. It had a green cross painted on the side of it and the word "Medicine" on the doors. My heart swelled with hope as several officers jumped out, carrying duffel bags of equipment, and headed straight to the medical tent.
"It's the supplies, everyone! It's the supplies they promised us!" someone in the back yelled.
The crowd began pushing and shoving each other again, and the woman and her kid that had spoken to me before was lost in the wave of people running forward, trying to get to the medicine. I tried to find them, to help, but I couldn't see them. There were so many people crowding around the truck, scrambling for the parcels of food and water and blankets that had spilled out.
I looked around at the field and at all the frightened and desperate people. Some were hurt and injured. Others were shell-shocked. Children were crying and their parents didn't know how to comfort them.
I knew there had been an outbreak of some sort, that the military had been evacuating the city. What I didn't understand is why the city had come to such a state of disarray in just one day.
A gunshot rang out and people screamed. It was followed by another, then several more. I ducked and covered my head. People around me started running, but I could see them lying on the ground. More gunshots and screams filled the air. Then, there was an eerie silence.
I stood up and slowly turned around, taking in the carnage. Bodies littered the ground, some missing limbs. I stepped carefully over the lifeless bodies of the fallen and made my way towards the exit of the stadium.
As I neared the gate I saw a group of soldiers guarding it. One was checking a man for weapons while another was wrapping a tourniquet around his leg. The other three were standing by a stack of rifles, preparing to re-load. I looked closer at the man with the bandaged leg and recognized him as the soldier that was on the news not long ago, telling us that the rioters had been dealt with and it was now safe to return to our homes. He had also assured us that the city would get back to normal soon.
"Clear!" the other soldier yelled, checking his weapon before handing it back to its owner. The soldier limped out the gate and was gone.
I tried to run, but my feet felt heavy and sluggish. The soldiers were getting closer, their guns drawn. They were shouting at me, their voices faint in my ears.
I turned to try and flee when a shot rang out and pain exploded in the back of my head.
submitted by Alternative_Bet_191 to copypasta [link] [comments]
Then it happened.
All of a sudden, the bartender dropped a glass, shattering it across the floor. "Watch it!" he shouted at a customer, who'd accidentally bumped into him. Then, he threw the towel he'd been holding onto the counter, and went over to the customer and punched him in the face. It all happened so quickly, I didn't have time to react. The customer stood up, his nose bleeding. He walked towards the bartender and hit him back, knocking him into the wall. A full on fight ensued, as two other men from the crowd joined in. They were throwing punches, and pushing each other to the ground.
The woman I'd been talking to looked scared, and started backing away from the bar.
"What the hell?" she said, her voice wavering.
I stood up, and held her hand. "Come on, let's get out of here."
I led her out of the bar and back to the street. She had a look of terror on her face. I had to calm her down, she looked like she was going to have a panic attack.
"It's ok, I'm here." I told her. "Are you okay?"
She took a deep breath and nodded.
"What was that all about?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I have no idea. Maybe it's stress or something. There's a lot of that going around right now."
Just then, the sound of sirens rang through the air. People were walking quickly by, looking at their phones, trying to find out what was happening. We followed the crowd and ended up in front of a large electronics store. It was closed.
"Do you have your phone?" she asked me.
I checked my pockets, but it wasn't there. I'd left it at the bar.
"Damn, no. I forgot it."
"Shit." she said, and pulled out her own.
The screen was flashing and beeping, and the words "Emergency Broadcast" were displayed.
"Oh no." she said, her face turning white.
I peered over her shoulder at the screen. It read:
Attention citizens. There has been a breach in the security at the local military base. If you see anyone acting strangely or displaying symptoms of the following, report it to the authorities immediately.
Symptoms:
- Bleeding or bruising from the mouth and nose
- Loss of consciousness
- Increased heart rate
- Increased body temperature
- Hallucinations
- Involuntary movement
"I have no idea." she replied, her voice shaking.
Suddenly, a scream came from the end of the street. I turned and saw a man running down the sidewalk. He was covered in blood, and screaming at the top of his lungs. A group of people was following him, chasing after him.
"Stay back!" he yelled. "It's not safe! They're coming!"
He ran around a corner and the crowd disappeared.
"He said they're coming. Who's coming?" asked the woman.
"I have no idea. We need to get to the police or someone to help us. Let's get somewhere secure."
We started walking towards the police station when a large group of people appeared around the corner, running towards us. They were screaming and shouting. They were completely out of their minds. The street was filled with men and women, young and old. Some were in bloody clothes, while others were completely naked.
"Run!" the woman screamed.
I grabbed her arm and we both ran for cover. We rounded the corner and started sprinting down the street, dodging past people and cars. Everything was a blur as we ran for our lives. After what felt like an eternity, we reached the police station. The front door was open and a small group of people were running inside. We followed them inside and found ourselves in a crowded lobby. The officer at the desk was yelling into the phone.
"Yes! There's rioting! Send backup now!"
Another officer came out from behind the desk and shouted over the chaos.
"Everyone needs to calm down! The military is sending a convoy to help us secure the city! Just hold tight!"
But people weren't listening. They continued to yell and scream, fighting against each other to get out of the station. I noticed a few people had bruises and cuts from the crowd.
I felt someone grab my arm. It was the woman I'd been with. She looked at me and shook her head.
"I'm scared." she said, her voice trembling.
Then she fell to the ground, crying. I reached down and held her in my arms.
"It's gonna be alright. I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you."
People were still pushing and shoving their way towards the exit, oblivious to us. I held onto her tightly, not wanting to lose her in the chaos. The sirens outside got louder, until they stopped altogether. I looked through the windows and saw a convoy of military vehicles pull up outside. Soldiers rushed into the station, their guns drawn.
They began shouting orders to the crowd.
"Calm the fuck down! Everyone calm down and leave through the rear entrance! This is not a request, this is an order! Anyone caught rioting or acting violently will be shot on sight! Go through the back, through the alleys, to the designated safe area! No more resistance, this is not a threat, this is a fact, now move, move, move!"
The crowd slowly filed out of the station, and we joined them.
My ears were ringing from the sirens and gunshots, but I did my best to keep moving. There were so many people, and we were forced to keep close together as the crowd funneled down a narrow alleyway. The city was in chaos. Smoke rose from buildings and car alarms blared. Gunshots and screams were everywhere.
We followed the throng of people down the alley until they reached a roadblock.
"This is as far as we can go." a soldier said. "Follow the crowd down this way and find a shelter. Don't wander around on your own, stay in groups if you can. Stay safe."
I looked at the woman and nodded. "C'mon, let's keep moving."
The crowd parted and we pushed through to the front. We soon found ourselves on a road full of burnt out cars and debris. The roadblock was full of soldiers, who directed us towards a football stadium.
The smell of smoke hung in the air as we walked through the streets. I wondered what could've started it all, and why it had ended so quickly.
When we reached the stadium it was full of people, all looking for their loved ones. I scanned the faces, hoping to see my girlfriend. I looked back towards the entrance and saw an old man and woman being helped down from a trolley bus. The lady had a bandage around her head, and her husband had blood on his face. The lady was clutching a broken arm. They hobbled their way slowly to a makeshift aid station. A soldier guided them towards the rest of the wounded.
"Grandma! Grandpa!" a small girl cried out and ran to them. She threw her arms around the woman and hugged her tightly.
A feeling of relief rushed over me, I was so happy they were alive. But at the same time, I couldn't help but think about my own girlfriend. Where was she?
People were sitting on the ground, crying. Others, stood, shell-shocked, looking around. A few people were trying to make small talk, despite everything. They were looking for ways to take their minds off the situation, to cope.
A bus was parked in the middle of the park and there were lines of people waiting in front of it.
"Are you hungry? Do you have any food?" a woman asked me, pushing her child in front of me.
"No, sorry, I don't," I replied, surprised at the desperation in her voice. "I don't have anything."
I looked at the queue, wondering if that was where the line was to get some free food. A woman in a white apron behind a stand marked "First Aid" tried to calm the crowd, raising her voice above the din.
"Everyone, please! Settle down, the military will have more help coming shortly! But for now we're out of supplies and the situation will only worsen if you don't control yourselves!"
Just then, another truck pulled up on the edge of the field. It had a green cross painted on the side of it and the word "Medicine" on the doors. My heart swelled with hope as several officers jumped out, carrying duffel bags of equipment, and headed straight to the medical tent.
"It's the supplies, everyone! It's the supplies they promised us!" someone in the back yelled.
The crowd began pushing and shoving each other again, and the woman and her kid that had spoken to me before was lost in the wave of people running forward, trying to get to the medicine. I tried to find them, to help, but I couldn't see them. There were so many people crowding around the truck, scrambling for the parcels of food and water and blankets that had spilled out.
I looked around at the field and at all the frightened and desperate people. Some were hurt and injured. Others were shell-shocked. Children were crying and their parents didn't know how to comfort them.
I knew there had been an outbreak of some sort, that the military had been evacuating the city. What I didn't understand is why the city had come to such a state of disarray in just one day.
A gunshot rang out and people screamed. It was followed by another, then several more. I ducked and covered my head. People around me started running, but I could see them lying on the ground. More gunshots and screams filled the air. Then, there was an eerie silence.
I stood up and slowly turned around, taking in the carnage. Bodies littered the ground, some missing limbs. I stepped carefully over the lifeless bodies of the fallen and made my way towards the exit of the stadium.
As I neared the gate I saw a group of soldiers guarding it. One was checking a man for weapons while another was wrapping a tourniquet around his leg. The other three were standing by a stack of rifles, preparing to re-load. I looked closer at the man with the bandaged leg and recognized him as the soldier that was on the news not long ago, telling us that the rioters had been dealt with and it was now safe to return to our homes. He had also assured us that the city would get back to normal soon.
"Clear!" the other soldier yelled, checking his weapon before handing it back to its owner. The soldier limped out the gate and was gone.
I tried to run, but my feet felt heavy and sluggish. The soldiers were getting closer, their guns drawn. They were shouting at me, their voices faint in my ears.
I turned to try and flee when a shot rang out and pain exploded in the back of my head.
- End -
2024.06.01 16:00 Crazy-Concern8080 Lambs Among Wolves - (Part 51)
Shout out to SpacePaladin15 for the original universe and credit to Soggy_Helicopter8589 for the AU lore, check out his story The New Age of Wolves.
First
Previous
There might be a hiatus on the horizon for this story. I was hoping my writer's block would have dissipated by now, but it seems it's not going anywhere. Anyway, enough about that, storytime.
Memory Transcription Subject: Woef, Diplomat, Warrior in Training, Project Manager
Date [Post Cataclysm]: March 7, 1291
I bounced my leg in frustration, staring across the table to the newest addition to my list of problems. When I saw that the Arxur had brought back some more Federation species, I was initially delighted. More people like them were just more power under my belt, more people I could influence to think like me. However, once I found out about a certain opinion they held, my dreams had taken a back seat.
During their time in the Viking pens, they were held with the Arxur, not separate like Kort and the rest of the original rescues. This led to a very… peculiar relation between them and their Arxur. They viewed them as protectors, guardians. The Arxur would jump in the way of thrown rocks and accept the most labor-intensive work, letting them handle only the menial work. They weren’t just accustomed to Arxur, they wanted to be around them.
That is where my problems came in. The Zurulian in front of me, as far as I knew the only one on the planet, wanted to treat an Arxur. But that wasn’t enough. This Arxur wasn’t just any old Arxur, it was Salisk. Even if Salisk wasn’t an Arxur, he and I had some negative history with each other. It would be pretty hard to forget when it burst into my room and threatened to kill me. And now I was supposed to let Hulop here waltz up to him and provide aid.
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t let that happen. And not just because you are trying to heal an Arxur. You are the only real medic we have, I can’t just let you go for who knows how long to handle this. You are needed here, you never know when something can go wrong.”
Hulop tried his best to look intimidating, but with how small Zurulians are he didn’t accomplish much. “You know that’s bullshit. This place isn’t going to fall down if a single newcomer leaves for a couple of days.”
“Maybe, but Toji will take notice. He’s the leader, and he’s on edge. I-”
I caught myself. Hulop didn’t need to know that I was in the process of taking over. I was confident that I could swoop in and take power once I had the opportunity, I just needed it. One moment where I could point out his incompetence and prove my capabilities, and it was all over for the old Gojid.
“I can’t let you go on good faith. He might start a figurative hunt for you.”
“Why not? Aren’t you in charge of me, not him?”
“Look, Toji doesn’t like me. He’s looking for any reason to knock me down a peg, if you know what I mean. Even if he doesn’t know where you are going, he would use your disappearance as ample enough ammunition.”
“I don’t care! Your politics don’t mean anything to me. Do you know what we’ve discovered? The Arxur feel emotions beyond hunger. We’ve seen irrefutable proof. All of us. They. Are. Sapient.”
I focused both eyes on him. “No. They. Aren’t. They were simply acting in a way that they thought would give them the best chance of survival.”
“How does taking a beating guarantee survival? Hmm?”
I shook my head and sighed. “I don’t know. I can’t think like an Arxur.”
“We all think like Arxur. They are sapient like us.”
I was getting tired of this. I had better things I could be doing. “List, I’m putting my foot down. You are not leaving this village, end of story. You are lucky you are here already, if Stephanium wasn’t at that meeting, you would be at the fortress. When you were given to me by the Knights, I didn’t know what to do. I had just gotten through dealing with one group, now I have another to handle. Make it easier for everyone, and just stay put. It’s not like you have any equipment anyway. Even if you did somehow convince me, you can’t work without your equipment.”
Hulop leaned back. “I already have a plan for that. There are life pods and crashed ships all over this planet, and I know where some are. Just let me travel with a few of the Arxur, and we can snag more than just some medical equipment.”
I waved a paw. “You and I both know that those have been picked clean. There is no way that they have gone unlooted for this long.”
“No, they haven’t. There is no way that the humans are getting in without knowing how to break the lock. And there is zero chance that they brute-forced their way in, not without a plasma cutter. And I really doubt that these humans have that lying around.”
I flicked my ear and leaned back. “Hmm, interesting. Still, I’m not letting you go. Forgetting the fact that you are still doing this for an Arxur, there is the process of bringing all of that equipment back with you. I know you said to send Arxur, but I still don’t trust them, no matter what you say. And before you say send the Knights, too many are already away with Stephanium taking care of the Viking problem.”
Hulop snarled. “You know what it sounds like? It sounds like you are more of a predator than the Arxur.”
I slammed my paws down and leaned close, causing Hulop to back away. “The fuck did you say to me? I’m more of a predator than the Arxur? Just because I won’t let you heal one?”
Hulop shrunk away. “Y-yeah! That’s what I said.”
I got even closer, almost touching him with my snout. “So, let me get this straight, you think that I am more evil than an Arxur just because I won’t let you wander into a camp full of Arxur who aren’t accustomed to you, one of which is the one you are trying to heal. I’m more evil than the fear-mongering, child-killing, people-eating, planet-destroying predators?”
Hulop couldn’t respond, forced into a corner by my onslaught of words. I shook my head and slumped back into my seat. “Think before you speak.”
“W-what if I don’t care about that?”
I snarled. “What?”
Hulop tried to regain his courage by standing up straight. “What if I know that Salisk did all of that, but I don’t care and want to heal him anyway?”
I tried to hold in my laugh, but couldn’t. I leaned back in my chair and slapped the table as I giggled at the absurdity Hulop had just spewed. “You- You really know how to make me laugh.”
Hulop wasn’t as amused as I was. “I’m serious.”
“And that makes it soohohohooo much funnier. You think you’re some big, bad, brave Zurulian who can just waltz into a town of Arxur like he owns the place, completely disregarding the mountains upon mountains of facts that these creatures are irrefutable cruel, and heal one.”
“They were only cruel because they weren’t given a chance.”
I couldn't stop my tail wagging, but tried to put on a somewhat serious face. “It really doesn’t matter the circumstances. When what you do is that horrible, there is no forgiving it. Context and coercion can only go so far to absolve a sin that bad.”
“That might be so, but we have the opportunity for them to do more than just use context and coercion. They can apologize. They can work with us, go through the same hardships, understand what it’s like to be on our side.”
I tilted my head and tried to keep my amusement contained. “Can they really? Do they have the intelligence to do that? Can they really know what we have gone through? Truly? After just a little stint in a slave cell? That’s equal to what they have done to the Federations for how long now?”
Hulop looked like he wanted to punch me. “We have to at least give them a chance!”
“Like the chance they gave us? Oh, wait, there was no chance. As soon as they got to the stars, they started hunting us down.”
Hulop stared at me, frustration about to boil over into something more physical, when he suddenly calmed. I could see his eyes connect some pieces, forming a plan that most likely wouldn’t work.
“Hulop, whatever you are thinking of, it won't work.”
“Oh, I do. You place me under Toji, give him authority over me, and then I sneak out. I’ll find my way over to the Arxur village and do my work. If I do get mauled, the blame falls on Toji for letting me escape.”
“But what do I get if you succeed?”
“You get a powerful ally. I’ll tell the Arxur that you let me come to their aid and you will get the support of the Arxur. Imagine what you could do with a group of thirty Arxur under your control.”
I was about to rebuff Hulop’s statement, when I caught my own words. I really like the sound of having a group of Arxur fall to my whims. I could forgive a little bad history if it meant more power for me. Either way this turned out, it sounded like I was going to get some power. I do like power.
“You know what? You were right. I do like that plan, but I’m going to make one tiny alteration. I’m coming with you, and I’m bringing some guards. When the Arxur betray you and go for the kill, me and my soldiers are going to swoop in and protect you. We bravely tracked down the lost Zurulian medic and found him in a camp full of Arxur. Stricken with bravery, we charged in and fended off the Arxur, rescuing the medic before the Arxur could kill him. That’s the story I’m going to tell, and you better back it up.”
Hulop relaxed a little. “Fine by me, when do you want to do this?”
I began standing as I spoke. “Tomorrow night, or the next one. First, we have to inform Toji that you are now under his command, then I want to inform some Knights, and a few of my own, about the plan and that might take a bit. You are the only real medic we have, losing you would be a big problem, so I am taking some serious precautions.”
Hulop stood and followed me to the door. “You won’t lose me, I promise.”
“Eh, whatever. We’ll see.”
I stepped outside and sighed amusedly. Once again, I was living a joke. That had become more and more common lately, but I didn’t care. Even if it was a joke sometimes, it was my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I navigated my way through the village and found Toji at the top of the wall. He only ever looked out of the village, never inside. Yet, he still was beginning to become aware that people were losing faith in him. We had been stagnant for far too long, people were becoming bored beyond measure, and my ideals were beginning to spread to the final few pockets that resisted it.
I wagged my tail as I walked up to him. “Hey Toji, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
He barely glanced away from Cocus to talk to me. “And that is?”
“Hulop. I need you to take him off my paws. He has proven to be too problematic for me to handle along with all the others. If you could just look after him for me, that would be great.”
Toji blinked and turned to face me. “What are you planning? You… What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on. Nothing more than what I just told you.”
“Woef, don’t think that just because I’m looking at you I haven’t picked up on the change behind me.”
“Pfft, you think I’m behind that? I don’t care what happens to this village, only the rescues.”
“Is that why you are giving me one?”
“Like I said, just for a little bit. Think of it as babysitting, you can handle that, right?”
Toji sighed. “Sure. Whatever it is you are planning, I have a feeling that I am powerless to stop it anymore.”
I blinked and put on a serious face. Did Toji really know what I was up to and just didn’t care? That makes no sense, he wants to hold power. Everyone wants power.
“Hey Toji, this is a weird question, but why do you want to be a leader?”
“To keep people safe, isn’t it obvious? When we crashed here, I knew that I had to keep everyone under me safe. I used what I was given to the best of my abilities, but sometimes I think it’s never enough. I feel like the Humans are always one step ahead. I hate it.”
I stared for a moment, before looking down to Cocus. He noticed me finally and waved. I returned it and sighed. “You know Toji, I used to hate you. It seems that every interaction we have had is negative. Even when we were in space you thought I had PD. We never got a chance to talk. It’s very difficult to hate someone you know.”
Toji chuffed. “Where did you learn that one? You never struck me as the philosophical type.”
“Believe it or not, the Humans.”
“Ah, I don’t.”
“I don’t get your hate for them. They aren’t the Arxur, they haven’t even made it into space. Yeah, they might eat meat, but they also eat plants. They have clear empathy and emotional drives beyond hunger and cruelty. And it has been far too long for this to be some kind of long con. I mean, I’ve been with them for how long now and I’m still safe?”
“That might be true, and my reason for hating them hasn’t stayed the same. At first, it was just because they were predators. Forward-facing eyes, meat-eating, culture based around war, I thought that was cut and dry. But after discovering that they were… what did they call themselves?”
“Omnivores, I think.”
“Yeah, that’s it. After we found that out, I ended up more confused than anything. I started gaining a little trust, then bam, I found out they were working with the Arxur. Honestly, I tried to understand where they were coming from. They never experienced an Arxur raid, they just saw strong workers. If I didn’t know better, I would agree. But the point that sealed it for me was that Stephanium lied through his teeth the entire time. Maybe it’s just because they are a different species, but someone who can lie that effectively should be feared.”
I sat silently for a moment, finally understanding why Toji hated the Humans so much, when I came to a realization. “Wait, do you care about power?”
“No, only what it can do. It’s just a tool, not a goal. No one in power should have the goal of power, it should be a tool for something else, something good.”
“Huh?”
I paused for a moment, taken aback by what Toji said. This was the fearmongering exterminator who always seemed to be on my tail for any minor infractions, shoving his snout in everyone’s business, and directing everyone with an iron claw. He always had power, there was never a moment where he didn’t have power, and now he is telling me he doesn’t want it.
Oh, wait, it must be a joke. I guess I’ll play into it.
“Would you be willing to give up that power?”
“No. Unless I held absolute certainty that whoever would take it could keep them as safe or safer, I wouldn’t dare release it.”
I shrugged and stepped back. “Ah, just wondering. Well, this was a pleasant surprise. I thought you would have shooed me away by now.”
“I was just about to, Woef.”
I laughed loudly. “Heh, I’ll leave you to your staring contest then. Have a good night, Toji.”
“Yeah.”
submitted by Crazy-Concern8080 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]
First
Previous
There might be a hiatus on the horizon for this story. I was hoping my writer's block would have dissipated by now, but it seems it's not going anywhere. Anyway, enough about that, storytime.
Date [Post Cataclysm]: March 7, 1291
I bounced my leg in frustration, staring across the table to the newest addition to my list of problems. When I saw that the Arxur had brought back some more Federation species, I was initially delighted. More people like them were just more power under my belt, more people I could influence to think like me. However, once I found out about a certain opinion they held, my dreams had taken a back seat.
During their time in the Viking pens, they were held with the Arxur, not separate like Kort and the rest of the original rescues. This led to a very… peculiar relation between them and their Arxur. They viewed them as protectors, guardians. The Arxur would jump in the way of thrown rocks and accept the most labor-intensive work, letting them handle only the menial work. They weren’t just accustomed to Arxur, they wanted to be around them.
That is where my problems came in. The Zurulian in front of me, as far as I knew the only one on the planet, wanted to treat an Arxur. But that wasn’t enough. This Arxur wasn’t just any old Arxur, it was Salisk. Even if Salisk wasn’t an Arxur, he and I had some negative history with each other. It would be pretty hard to forget when it burst into my room and threatened to kill me. And now I was supposed to let Hulop here waltz up to him and provide aid.
“I’m sorry, but I just can’t let that happen. And not just because you are trying to heal an Arxur. You are the only real medic we have, I can’t just let you go for who knows how long to handle this. You are needed here, you never know when something can go wrong.”
Hulop tried his best to look intimidating, but with how small Zurulians are he didn’t accomplish much. “You know that’s bullshit. This place isn’t going to fall down if a single newcomer leaves for a couple of days.”
“Maybe, but Toji will take notice. He’s the leader, and he’s on edge. I-”
I caught myself. Hulop didn’t need to know that I was in the process of taking over. I was confident that I could swoop in and take power once I had the opportunity, I just needed it. One moment where I could point out his incompetence and prove my capabilities, and it was all over for the old Gojid.
“I can’t let you go on good faith. He might start a figurative hunt for you.”
“Why not? Aren’t you in charge of me, not him?”
“Look, Toji doesn’t like me. He’s looking for any reason to knock me down a peg, if you know what I mean. Even if he doesn’t know where you are going, he would use your disappearance as ample enough ammunition.”
“I don’t care! Your politics don’t mean anything to me. Do you know what we’ve discovered? The Arxur feel emotions beyond hunger. We’ve seen irrefutable proof. All of us. They. Are. Sapient.”
I focused both eyes on him. “No. They. Aren’t. They were simply acting in a way that they thought would give them the best chance of survival.”
“How does taking a beating guarantee survival? Hmm?”
I shook my head and sighed. “I don’t know. I can’t think like an Arxur.”
“We all think like Arxur. They are sapient like us.”
I was getting tired of this. I had better things I could be doing. “List, I’m putting my foot down. You are not leaving this village, end of story. You are lucky you are here already, if Stephanium wasn’t at that meeting, you would be at the fortress. When you were given to me by the Knights, I didn’t know what to do. I had just gotten through dealing with one group, now I have another to handle. Make it easier for everyone, and just stay put. It’s not like you have any equipment anyway. Even if you did somehow convince me, you can’t work without your equipment.”
Hulop leaned back. “I already have a plan for that. There are life pods and crashed ships all over this planet, and I know where some are. Just let me travel with a few of the Arxur, and we can snag more than just some medical equipment.”
I waved a paw. “You and I both know that those have been picked clean. There is no way that they have gone unlooted for this long.”
“No, they haven’t. There is no way that the humans are getting in without knowing how to break the lock. And there is zero chance that they brute-forced their way in, not without a plasma cutter. And I really doubt that these humans have that lying around.”
I flicked my ear and leaned back. “Hmm, interesting. Still, I’m not letting you go. Forgetting the fact that you are still doing this for an Arxur, there is the process of bringing all of that equipment back with you. I know you said to send Arxur, but I still don’t trust them, no matter what you say. And before you say send the Knights, too many are already away with Stephanium taking care of the Viking problem.”
Hulop snarled. “You know what it sounds like? It sounds like you are more of a predator than the Arxur.”
I slammed my paws down and leaned close, causing Hulop to back away. “The fuck did you say to me? I’m more of a predator than the Arxur? Just because I won’t let you heal one?”
Hulop shrunk away. “Y-yeah! That’s what I said.”
I got even closer, almost touching him with my snout. “So, let me get this straight, you think that I am more evil than an Arxur just because I won’t let you wander into a camp full of Arxur who aren’t accustomed to you, one of which is the one you are trying to heal. I’m more evil than the fear-mongering, child-killing, people-eating, planet-destroying predators?”
Hulop couldn’t respond, forced into a corner by my onslaught of words. I shook my head and slumped back into my seat. “Think before you speak.”
“W-what if I don’t care about that?”
I snarled. “What?”
Hulop tried to regain his courage by standing up straight. “What if I know that Salisk did all of that, but I don’t care and want to heal him anyway?”
I tried to hold in my laugh, but couldn’t. I leaned back in my chair and slapped the table as I giggled at the absurdity Hulop had just spewed. “You- You really know how to make me laugh.”
Hulop wasn’t as amused as I was. “I’m serious.”
“And that makes it soohohohooo much funnier. You think you’re some big, bad, brave Zurulian who can just waltz into a town of Arxur like he owns the place, completely disregarding the mountains upon mountains of facts that these creatures are irrefutable cruel, and heal one.”
“They were only cruel because they weren’t given a chance.”
I couldn't stop my tail wagging, but tried to put on a somewhat serious face. “It really doesn’t matter the circumstances. When what you do is that horrible, there is no forgiving it. Context and coercion can only go so far to absolve a sin that bad.”
“That might be so, but we have the opportunity for them to do more than just use context and coercion. They can apologize. They can work with us, go through the same hardships, understand what it’s like to be on our side.”
I tilted my head and tried to keep my amusement contained. “Can they really? Do they have the intelligence to do that? Can they really know what we have gone through? Truly? After just a little stint in a slave cell? That’s equal to what they have done to the Federations for how long now?”
Hulop looked like he wanted to punch me. “We have to at least give them a chance!”
“Like the chance they gave us? Oh, wait, there was no chance. As soon as they got to the stars, they started hunting us down.”
Hulop stared at me, frustration about to boil over into something more physical, when he suddenly calmed. I could see his eyes connect some pieces, forming a plan that most likely wouldn’t work.
“Hulop, whatever you are thinking of, it won't work.”
“Oh, I do. You place me under Toji, give him authority over me, and then I sneak out. I’ll find my way over to the Arxur village and do my work. If I do get mauled, the blame falls on Toji for letting me escape.”
“But what do I get if you succeed?”
“You get a powerful ally. I’ll tell the Arxur that you let me come to their aid and you will get the support of the Arxur. Imagine what you could do with a group of thirty Arxur under your control.”
I was about to rebuff Hulop’s statement, when I caught my own words. I really like the sound of having a group of Arxur fall to my whims. I could forgive a little bad history if it meant more power for me. Either way this turned out, it sounded like I was going to get some power. I do like power.
“You know what? You were right. I do like that plan, but I’m going to make one tiny alteration. I’m coming with you, and I’m bringing some guards. When the Arxur betray you and go for the kill, me and my soldiers are going to swoop in and protect you. We bravely tracked down the lost Zurulian medic and found him in a camp full of Arxur. Stricken with bravery, we charged in and fended off the Arxur, rescuing the medic before the Arxur could kill him. That’s the story I’m going to tell, and you better back it up.”
Hulop relaxed a little. “Fine by me, when do you want to do this?”
I began standing as I spoke. “Tomorrow night, or the next one. First, we have to inform Toji that you are now under his command, then I want to inform some Knights, and a few of my own, about the plan and that might take a bit. You are the only real medic we have, losing you would be a big problem, so I am taking some serious precautions.”
Hulop stood and followed me to the door. “You won’t lose me, I promise.”
“Eh, whatever. We’ll see.”
I stepped outside and sighed amusedly. Once again, I was living a joke. That had become more and more common lately, but I didn’t care. Even if it was a joke sometimes, it was my life, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I navigated my way through the village and found Toji at the top of the wall. He only ever looked out of the village, never inside. Yet, he still was beginning to become aware that people were losing faith in him. We had been stagnant for far too long, people were becoming bored beyond measure, and my ideals were beginning to spread to the final few pockets that resisted it.
I wagged my tail as I walked up to him. “Hey Toji, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
He barely glanced away from Cocus to talk to me. “And that is?”
“Hulop. I need you to take him off my paws. He has proven to be too problematic for me to handle along with all the others. If you could just look after him for me, that would be great.”
Toji blinked and turned to face me. “What are you planning? You… What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on. Nothing more than what I just told you.”
“Woef, don’t think that just because I’m looking at you I haven’t picked up on the change behind me.”
“Pfft, you think I’m behind that? I don’t care what happens to this village, only the rescues.”
“Is that why you are giving me one?”
“Like I said, just for a little bit. Think of it as babysitting, you can handle that, right?”
Toji sighed. “Sure. Whatever it is you are planning, I have a feeling that I am powerless to stop it anymore.”
I blinked and put on a serious face. Did Toji really know what I was up to and just didn’t care? That makes no sense, he wants to hold power. Everyone wants power.
“Hey Toji, this is a weird question, but why do you want to be a leader?”
“To keep people safe, isn’t it obvious? When we crashed here, I knew that I had to keep everyone under me safe. I used what I was given to the best of my abilities, but sometimes I think it’s never enough. I feel like the Humans are always one step ahead. I hate it.”
I stared for a moment, before looking down to Cocus. He noticed me finally and waved. I returned it and sighed. “You know Toji, I used to hate you. It seems that every interaction we have had is negative. Even when we were in space you thought I had PD. We never got a chance to talk. It’s very difficult to hate someone you know.”
Toji chuffed. “Where did you learn that one? You never struck me as the philosophical type.”
“Believe it or not, the Humans.”
“Ah, I don’t.”
“I don’t get your hate for them. They aren’t the Arxur, they haven’t even made it into space. Yeah, they might eat meat, but they also eat plants. They have clear empathy and emotional drives beyond hunger and cruelty. And it has been far too long for this to be some kind of long con. I mean, I’ve been with them for how long now and I’m still safe?”
“That might be true, and my reason for hating them hasn’t stayed the same. At first, it was just because they were predators. Forward-facing eyes, meat-eating, culture based around war, I thought that was cut and dry. But after discovering that they were… what did they call themselves?”
“Omnivores, I think.”
“Yeah, that’s it. After we found that out, I ended up more confused than anything. I started gaining a little trust, then bam, I found out they were working with the Arxur. Honestly, I tried to understand where they were coming from. They never experienced an Arxur raid, they just saw strong workers. If I didn’t know better, I would agree. But the point that sealed it for me was that Stephanium lied through his teeth the entire time. Maybe it’s just because they are a different species, but someone who can lie that effectively should be feared.”
I sat silently for a moment, finally understanding why Toji hated the Humans so much, when I came to a realization. “Wait, do you care about power?”
“No, only what it can do. It’s just a tool, not a goal. No one in power should have the goal of power, it should be a tool for something else, something good.”
“Huh?”
I paused for a moment, taken aback by what Toji said. This was the fearmongering exterminator who always seemed to be on my tail for any minor infractions, shoving his snout in everyone’s business, and directing everyone with an iron claw. He always had power, there was never a moment where he didn’t have power, and now he is telling me he doesn’t want it.
Oh, wait, it must be a joke. I guess I’ll play into it.
“Would you be willing to give up that power?”
“No. Unless I held absolute certainty that whoever would take it could keep them as safe or safer, I wouldn’t dare release it.”
I shrugged and stepped back. “Ah, just wondering. Well, this was a pleasant surprise. I thought you would have shooed me away by now.”
“I was just about to, Woef.”
I laughed loudly. “Heh, I’ll leave you to your staring contest then. Have a good night, Toji.”
“Yeah.”
2024.06.01 15:42 New_Selection_4503 Help, is husband cheating?
Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.
submitted by New_Selection_4503 to cheatingexposed [link] [comments]
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.
2024.06.01 15:30 Thanah85 Dev Blog #9 - May 2024
 | May was another abbreviated month of development due to the same Irish/Greek/Italian adventure that stymied April upgrades, sorry not sorry! submitted by Thanah85 to afog [link] [comments] Greetings from Rome! All things considered, though, as far as AFoG is concerned it was a productive month and the highlight without question was the BCH Bliss conference in Ljubljana, Slovenia! https://preview.redd.it/xyqb5kkvny3d1.jpg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=493581b9a65d6c26124deff52f7ad8144a066586 This event was absolutely incredible. It was amazing to shake hands with (and in some cases be recognized by) genuine legends in the Bitcoin Cash community. The presentations were exciting, the hallway conversations were stimulating, and it was a great encouragement to see so many smart people working on interesting projects elsewhere in the BCH ecosystem. During the Builders Open House I was surprise-interviewed by The Bitcoin Cash Podcast! https://x.com/TheBCHPodcast/status/1796811972597420495 I was also delighted to have been asked by the conference organizers to use the AFoG platform to orchestrate a Street Fighter II tournament during the builders and VIPs social event! The conference itself sponsored the event, tossing a cool 50,000,000 satoshis into the event prize pool, and 17 challengers stepped into the ring! https://preview.redd.it/9ess87f1oy3d1.jpg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4a3ed68b0a0378458eff7d9cb9dd2fc6b2d8f70 To see how your favorite BCH celebrity stacks up in Street Fighter II, see the bracket and final standings here! https://afifthofgaming.com/Session/Detail/1290 BCH Bliss was also an occasion to celebrate the successful deployment of the Adaptive Blocksize Limit Algorithm to BCH main net. As a weary veteran who lived through the blocksize wars, watching this upgrade go live was just amazing. https://preview.redd.it/ysg0x1g4oy3d1.png?width=902&format=png&auto=webp&s=a0a23be2f0397042a42d5e6bcb51b9fbb1d4a47e As an engineer building tools (BitcoinCashClient) and services (AFoG) on top of BCH, I can now have confidence that my efforts will never be retroactively rendered useless by an artificially crippled base layer! Anyway, enough about the conference, let's talk about AFoG! SPONSORS As promised last month, the big deliverable during the month of May was Sponsors! Sponsors have existed in AFoG since pretty much the beginning of the tournament era, but only in a very manual and informal way. Generous donors would see my enthusiasm for the project and throw some money into event prize pools to show support and in return I would manually put their logo on the page so participants could see (and click through to the websites for) the organizations funding the events. The overarching goal for the set of stories delivered this month was to fully automate and decentralize that process while also defining and codifying the basic rules and subsystems for sponsorships. So how does it work? Anyone with an AFoG account can create a Sponsor by simply providing a name, url, and logo. They can then create Sponsorships (a link between a given sponsor and a given guild) for any number of guilds. The act of creating a sponsorship will generate a BCH address and any funds sent to that address will be treated by AFoG as sponsorship money being sent from the given Sponsor to the Guild they're supporting. For any given tournament event page, the logos of the sponsors who have supported this guild will be displayed in the top right corner, with the size of the logos determined by their sponsorship tier. There are five tiers of Sponsorship that a Sponsor can earn for each guild, with those tiers being awarded based on what percentage of the guilds recent (past 12 months, with payments weighted by age) support has come from the Sponsor. The percentages and tiers are:
The more sponsorship money a guild attracts for itself, the more expensive it becomes to secure the (one available) Emerald spot at the top of that guild's sponsorship tree, but also since payments are weighted by their age, the more time passes since a given contribution, the more potent new donations become for pushing older ones down the list. How exactly is Sponsorship money used? To be clear straight away, guild administrators and tournament organizers have no control of any kind over this money at any point. When BCH is sent into a Sponsorship wallet, AFoG checks the subscription of the guild. If it has less than 3 months remaining, a portion of the received BCH goes into their guild fund to push their subscription end date out into the future. The rest of the money (or all of the money if the subscription was already in good shape) goes into the guild vault, which is used to automatically seed the prize pools for newly created tournament events. So the more sponsorship money a guild receives, the larger and more exciting its events will be, and the more players will be incentivized to sign up and participate! What's the vision here? My hope is that Sponsorships will become another of the feedback loops driving adoption of AFoG. Organizations who want their logo and url to have eyeballs of AFoG players on them put money into the prize pools, which attracts more players to the events, which in turn drives the demand for sponsor logo space, which entices more sponsorship money. This mechanism also gives guild administrators a more formal system for soliciting support from external organizations in a way that is beneficial to everyone. They will no longer be begging for handouts, they will be offering a trade ("your logo on our high-traffic tournament page in exchange for your money in our prize pools"). So there you have it! Let's have a look through the formal change log for the month of May! NEW FEATURES
There is SOOOO much work to do! June is going to be incredibly busy! My primary focus is going to be supporting tournament organizers on the site. I will be doing this in two very specific ways: First, I will be organizing a sponsorship drive with a view towards attracting organizations to utilize our newly deployed Sponsors features to financially support the guilds that are actively running events. For them to be successful, they need players and they need prizes. With the Sponsors system now in place, we can spin up the feedback loop of prizes attracting players and players attracting prizes! Second, I will be building out a long list of administrative features that have been much-requested by the existing admins. These will give tournament organizers more control and more options for running events that are both smooth and customized to their preferences. Highlights of the list include new tournament formats (like Swiss, round-robin, single elimination), controls for cadence (how often events should happen) and entry fees, and a text editor for controlling the content of the "tournament rules" section of the event pages! Get Involved It means the world to me that you've read my dev blog! Thank you for your interest in this project and for your kind attention! If you want take your support to the next level, here are four very specific things you can do to help in a huge way!
https://preview.redd.it/y76f8ktqpy3d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=439ed8dc16dc8b724d6854cca3a3d504028edaf9 |
2024.06.01 15:29 PhilAceAston Tony Martin Talks About Black Sabbath, The Anno Domini Box Set & What Might Happen Next!
Phil Aston: Hello and welcome to the Now Spinning Magazine podcast with me, Phil Aston. And in this episode, I’m absolutely delighted to have with me Tony Martin, one of the UK’s most underrated rock vocalists. You’ve had a really varied career, but what we’re going to talk about today specifically is Black Sabbath and the new “Anno Domini” box set. So, welcome, Tony. Thank you so much for joining me.
Tony Martin: Thank you. And thank you for having me on the show. Very cool.
Phil Aston: A bit of context, because I think this is kind of helpful for you. My son is 30 now, but when he was 15, he set up a Facebook group, kind of saying, “One day, please can we have the Tony Martin Black Sabbath albums released?” That was 15 years ago. He was still at school, half his lifetime ago. And I think in the early time when he set this up, he may have reached out to you and you might have said something like, “I don’t think it’s gonna happen, Dan.” And here we are, all these years later, and it’s not only happened, but it comes out this Friday. How does that feel to know that these albums are now going to be available again?
Tony Martin: Well, first of all, well done to your son. It took 15 years, but he got it done. To be honest, there’s been a few periods when I didn’t think it was happening. In fact, about a year ago, Tony Iommi’s manager called me and said, “You know what, this is just so complicated. I don’t think we can do this.” So I was resigned to it not happening myself. It’s all to do with band politics, really. There are so many people involved or have their fingers in the pie that they all have to be on board. And there were allegiances changing all over the place, left, right, and center. So in the end, it was getting a bit tiring, but well done to Tony Iommi and BMG. My God, the patience they showed to get this thing together and actually get it out there. Wow. But how does it feel? It feels brilliant, to be honest. I’m very excited. I haven’t actually had these albums in my own hands physically for the past 25 years. I gave all mine away thinking I’d be able to get some more, and I didn’t. They just stopped making them. So to actually physically hold them again is really cool. What a great job they’ve done of it. So I’m thrilled and excited. And I’m helping out now because I’m not in the band, obviously, anymore. So I just offered my help to promote it and they said, “Great, let’s do it.”
Phil Aston: Isn’t it amazing? Because I’ve done quite a few reviews about Black Sabbath box sets and stuff, but this one, within about 12 hours, there’s literally 12,000 views of the review. The love for this period of Black Sabbath is actually huge. It’s grown. It almost feels as if the profile is higher now than it was at the time.
Tony Martin: Yeah, there is a kind of reason for that. Partly people have got over the “it’s the new guy” thing, and also it’s been 25 years since. So now we’re reaching out to a whole other group of people, in addition to those that were already there. But to the outside world, it looks like there was a huge gap, and to me it felt like a huge gap. But actually, the fans were always there. I’ve been waiting myself as well to get this back out there. And it’s just band politics, really. That’s all it is.
Phil Aston: Because you had that period when it was almost as if this part of Sabbath’s history was hidden because of band politics. None of this really happened, which I think probably stirred up more interest and kind of people wanting to find out more.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it could be. It’s an old famous thing, you know, if something ain’t around for a while, people start talking about it. But yeah, it’s a strange thing, the music business. You’re either in fashion or you’re not. But I am just thrilled that they’ve got around it. Just the patience they’ve shown to actually put this together. At one point they were just saying, “We can’t do it.” But I’m really chuffed anyway.
Phil Aston: I imagine there’s been compromises along the way. Lots of fans probably don’t understand how complicated the politics and all the different licenses and everything that goes on over the years, they become more and more entangled. People say, “Where’s Eternal Idol?” But of course, that was a different record label. Different people own it.
Tony Martin: Yeah, absolutely. It’s owned by somebody else. And also Eternal Idol, or “Eternal Idiot,” as we call it, was kind of reissued not that long ago. Really.
Phil Aston: That’s right. With the two CD version, wasn’t it?
Tony Martin: Yeah. So they were kind of thinking, “Well, there’s no real panic because that’s already been done and let’s just move on.” Because that would have wrapped them up in contracts for centuries, I think. I can’t even think that they’ll ever get them to let that go. But they were struggling to get the people involved with these four albums to make up their minds and do stuff. I’ve been all for it all the way along, I have to say. Obviously, because it’s my career, my history. It’s not just the band’s history. It’s ten years of my life that went AWOL. So, yeah, I’ve been up for it all the way along, but some people don’t and it’s taken them a while to get on board.
Phil Aston: I think it’s fantastic. The first one was Headless Cross. You joined one of the biggest rock bands with all that history behind it. You were an established singer with the Alliance. But this was a chance, as you say, with Eternal Idol, you went in and it was already prepared. You sang it, but this one was where you could really put your mark on it, your personality lyrically as well as musically. Can you remember what it was like actually being at the beginning of that? Did you feel comfortable around Iommi and Powell and thinking, “Right, what kind of lyrics am I going to do by Headless Cross?”
Tony Martin: Yeah, I was comfortable by then. Well, kind of. The thing is, with Eternal Idol, if I can just backstep a little bit. The Eternal Idol wasn’t the first call up. The first call up was in 1986 when they were doing the Seventh Star with Glenn Hughes. And that scared me to death because I can’t sing like Glenn Hughes. Nobody can sing like Glenn Hughes. They put me on standby back then, so I’d sort of tentatively had an introduction to Tony Iommi. Then in ’87, they got me in for the audition, and that was the next introduction to Tony Iommi. But because Eternal Idol was already written, that gave me a whole year plus a bit more to find out what this thing was. What the hell was I supposed to do? So just doing Eternal Idol like that was fine by me because I didn’t have to discover anything myself back then. It gave me a chance to get my feet in. So by the time it got to Headless Cross, now I know all the guys, and I kind of know what’s expected of me. I still had to find the “me” that I needed to find. I went around it the only way I could, by focusing on things I was interested in. I couldn’t do the lyrics and melodies that Geezer was writing for Ozzy because that was a generation before me. The stuff that Ronnie was doing was fantastic, but I couldn’t get inside his head. So I had to think about what I was going to do. I had an interest in the old gothic death stuff, like Dracula and Frankenstein, Mary Shelley type writing, and of course, in England, we have Shakespeare. Nobody speaks English like that anymore, that old English text. I thought, “Old English text, gothic death, and Black Sabbath. That might work.” So I put them all together and came up with Headless Cross, which is where I lived. I lived in a village called Headless Cross.
Phil Aston: Yeah, you put that on the map. They weren’t pleased about it. The most recognition I’ve got is my name on a bus stop. And Cozy Powell thought the album needed more death, didn’t he?
Tony Martin: Oh, that’s true. That’s actually true. We were recording “When Death Calls,” and he was in the studio playing, and he suddenly stopped. We went, “You alright?” He went, “Yeah, just remind me, what’s this song called again?” I said, “It’s called When Death Calls.” He said, “I don’t think there’s enough death in it.” And he carried on playing. So, okay, maybe he’s taking the piss, but isn’t it such a great sounding album? As Tony Iommi says, he never left Black Sabbath. So when people criticize him, saying, “You should change the name or whatever,” he never left. So it was still Black Sabbath. The riffs, the guitar sound was reaching new peaks of excellence around this time.
Because when it was just him and Ozzy, for example, it was guitar, that was it. When Geoff Nichols joined during the Dio period, it introduced a few more keyboard things. That allowed Iommi to play solos against those keyboard pads and chords. And then you come along and start sticking 50 tracks of vocal harmonies on it, like in Anno Mundi and stuff like that. It just kept developing. Sabbath isn’t really known for vocal harmonies and keyboards, but underneath that was still Tony Iommi. And it still sounded like Sabbath. We were happy to do that. We just wanted to make Tony happy and do the best for him. It was his band. So we were happy to seek out that Sabbath sound and make sure it did what it said on the tin. A couple of times, like with the Seventh Star thing, he ventured a little bit away from it. Songs like Heart Like a Wheel don’t really make the Black Sabbath sound, but it’s still good stuff. I have great respect for all of the eras that went before. I had to sing all of the songs. So I do have great respect for it. And it’s been an honor, you know, like being part of the whole story. But he was the only one that stuck it out. And we respected him for that. You’re right, they did ask him to change a couple of times. He said, “No, I can’t change now.”
Phil Aston: The next one, if I pronounce this right, it’s Tyr.
Tony Martin: Yeah.
Phil Aston: Because when it came out, me and my friends, actually, because there was no Internet back then and nowhere to go and check it, we did call it Tyr. To be.
Tony Martin: Yeah, Tyr.
Phil Aston: Watch you find in Birmingham. You know what I mean? So it actually rhymes with beer, doesn’t it?
Tony Martin: It is, yeah. Actually, it’s Tiw, which is Scandinavian for the son of Odin or something.
Phil Aston: Well, this is almost as close, probably, to Sabbath getting into almost a concept album. Isn’t it? This is a collection of songs that in another time and space you probably as a band would have gone out and performed the whole thing.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it wasn’t meant that way, but they were struggling to find a name for the album. We were recording and getting towards the end and the management called us up and said, “We really need a name for this album.” And Cozy said, “I’ve got one. Let’s call it Satanic Verses.” We went, “What, like Salman Rushdie thing?” He said, “Yeah, it would be great publicity.” We said, “Yeah, but we’ll all be dead.” So we did struggle, but they happened across the artwork. We’d done Anno Mundi, we’d done Gates of Valhalla and all that sort of stuff. They went, “What if… Tyr?” It was fine by me. So it took on the Viking sort of theme. By that time, I was thinking, once I’d done Headless Cross and started to have an interest in the Vikings and stuff. As you know, the Vikings haven’t been particularly good for us. They came over and stole all our women and sheep and whatever. But I had an interest in them as well. So I was thinking, every culture, every religion has its dark side. There’s always a devil type in a god type. I thought we could go around the world and I could do this. You could pick up on all sorts of cultures and pick out the dark side of various things. But it was the last kind of… I still did that with various other songs and various other artists. But Tyr was leaning towards that theme.
Phil Aston: It’s an excellent album. Then of course, the strangeness of the politics in Sabbath. Dehumanizer comes along and Dio re-enters the scene. You obviously had an opportunity because every cloud has a silver lining. You can go off and do your solo album at this time. But you did kind of like… It sounds like it was almost a forced relationship, the way that he was and he wasn’t. I mean, how was that period for you? Because you did demo some of the tracks, didn’t you?
Tony Martin: Firstly, it was a shock. I didn’t see that coming at all. Literally just walking out the door to the next writing rehearsals. My managers called up and said, “They don’t want you to go.” From what I recently found out, although I had my suspicions, Tony Iommi said the record label just wasn’t supporting it. They weren’t getting behind us at all. Then they started banding about all different names and stuff, and Ronnie’s name came up. They thought they’d give it a go. He said it was all on and off all the time. After they let me go, it wasn’t too long before Tony called me back and said, “Can you come back?” I said, “No, I can’t. I’m doing my solo album.” More time went by, and he called me back again and said, “Are you sure you can’t come back?” I said, “I’m doing my solo album. I really can’t.” He said, “Do you want to come down and try?” So I did. I went down and tried putting my voice on some of the songs, but it would have meant rewriting everything, and they weren’t going to do that. So I said, “The best thing is if you finish this with Ronnie, get this done and out of the way, then maybe we can talk again later.” So that’s kind of what happened. By that time, I’d done my solo album, which I wanted to get as far away from the Sabbath thing as I could at the time. I went back to doing what the Alliance and some of the bands I’d been with, that middle-of-the-road AOR type stuff. But when they called me back to Sabbath, Polydor dropped my solo album like a brick. They said, “We can’t do this if you’re going to go back with them.” So that got stopped. It’s so confusing. By the time I got back with the guys to Cross Purposes, it didn’t feel that much of a gap for me, because I’ve been talking to them and working with them through the Dehumanizer thing.
Phil Aston: Stylistically, that album, because it was on the IRS label, I know some people have said, “Well, it should be in there.” Stylistically, musically, it’s very different. I mean, you take it out. These four albums in this set, excluding Eternal Idol, they sound like a progression. Dehumanizer sounds like a kind of sidestep. Even the way the riffs are done in the songs, it’s changed. You take the vocalist out, but the music continued. You took you out and it was very different.
Tony Martin: I suppose it does a bit. If I go back and think over it, I guess that’s what it was. It was kind of an interruption into the flow of things. When we were doing Tyr, I thought we were doing really well. I thought we were onto something. Dehumanizer, in that sort of respect, does feel a little bit like an interruption. But there was some good stuff on there. Ronnie’s always been a good singer. I don’t quite know how they feel about it, but it was kind of nothing to do with me. I just let them get on with it.
Phil Aston: After that, Cross Purposes is probably, out of the four albums in this set, my personal favorite. Geezer’s back in the band now, so you’ve got his bubbling bass in there. And again, lyrically, it’s all you. Did you feel any kind of, “Oh, Geezer’s back. Will he want to help out?”
Tony Martin: I did ask. He just said, “No, you can do it.” So I just carried on.
Phil Aston
The reason why I love this album is that it’s varied. A lot of people think of Black Sabbath as the Godfathers of heavy metal, and heavy metal is always heavy metal. But if you think back to albums like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath in the seventies, they weren’t all heavy metal. There were all sorts of things on there. There were keyboards and light and shade. This, I felt, connected to that album, because you had light and shade on it. So there were more dynamics in the lyrical delivery and the song delivery, in the way that Iommi is weaving his riffs around the melodies. What are your thoughts looking back on this album now?
Tony Martin: I think you’ve just summed it up. It did sort of shift up a notch. Not only that, but the sound they were getting with Leif Mases producing it, it sort of grew up. It lifted somehow out of what they’d done before. It felt like, “Oh, this sounds good.” The songwriting and the exploring we were doing with the songs and stuff. At the time, Geezer Butler said that’s the best album he’s ever been on. He never said that again, but he said it at the time.
Phil Aston: I can imagine him saying just that.
Tony Martin: But it was good. Having Bobby Rondinelli in the band as well. Technically amazing. Brilliant player. His drums close in, and he plays with his wrists. Very technical. Whereas Cozy’s drums are stretched out far and wide. He’d lean over and hit them. But great to have them both in. What an honor. I mean, it’s Geezer Butler as well.
Phil Aston: When you got to South America, Bill Ward was in for a few gigs, wasn’t he? That must have been quite surreal. Bill Ward and Geezer playing songs like Headless Cross, which they had nothing to do with.
Tony Martin: They had nothing to do with. We were kind of weird because once we’d started to get Geezer and Bill back in, they wanted to start doing more of the older songs. That just makes you look, read between the lines going, “What’s going on? Where’s this going?” Once it’s happened to you, you know it. Then you’re reading between the lines. You start to feel it. Then you go, “Ah, right.” You can feel it. They’re clearing up. I did ask if they were going to do a reunion with Ozzy. Iommi was always denying it. Said, “No, no, we’re not doing that.” But I didn’t mind. The reason for that is because I knew what I could do in the future then. I thought, “Well, if they just tell me, that’s fine. Cause then I can plan.” The first time it was a shock and I didn’t know what to do. But I was kind of keyed up for it the next time. But he kept going. They got Bill in. I love Bill. I think he’s brilliant. We did some shows with him. But for some reason, and I don’t know what it is, I mean, I can tell you Iommi loves Bill. He regaled so many stories about when they were out there and how funny it was. I never understood why they never gave him time to get back in it. When you think of Def Leppard, they made a drum kit for a one-armed drummer.
Phil Aston: Yes, very true.
Tony Martin: Surely they can find time to get Bill settled back in. Whatever problems they’ve got. I mean, come on.
Phil Aston: You would think, yeah, very true.
Tony Martin: Get on with it. I thought, “Right, this is going to go south again.” But it didn’t. We carried on with Forbidden, and then Cozy came back after his accident. It was really up and down. Confusing. People in and out. During the time I was in the band, there were eight different lineups.
Phil Aston: It was very much a revolving door, wasn’t it? Before we move on, I just want to ask, because I know a lot of fans ask this. In the booklets in these box sets, there’s an image of Cross Purposes Live. That was a VHS tape and a CD. Is there a reason why that wasn’t included in some way? Is that game politics?
Tony Martin: I did ask about that, and they were just keen to get on with it. They said, “Come on, let’s go, let’s do it.” What they told me was that they’re going to take their time now to see what else they can gather and do an additional thing to this along the way with more of that in it. With the Cross Purposes Live and some other stuff. There’s a track that I recorded with them when Eddie Van Halen came and did Evil Eye.
Phil Aston: Yes, yeah, Evil Eye, wasn’t it?
Tony Martin: Yeah. I used to take the track out. I had it everywhere. Writing sessions, recording sessions, rehearsals. I just happened to be there. I didn’t even know who was coming. Iommi just turned up with Eddie Van Halen. I went, “Holy hell, it’s Eddie Van Halen. What’s he doing here?” He did some rehearsals with us and then disappeared. Never saw him again. But I got the recordings of the rehearsals that we did.
Phil Aston: Oh, wow.
Tony Martin: So I sent them to Tony Iommi. I said, “Use these. Get these on.” He said, “No, no, we can’t.” The reason they said was anything that has the slightest newness about it looks like a new Black Sabbath track or album track. They’re not allowed to release anything new under the Black Sabbath name. So even if it’s historical, they couldn’t allow it. It’s really weird.
Phil Aston: That means there must be lots of live stuff recorded. More bands were recording live stuff from the nineties onwards that you just couldn’t work on because it would go out under the Black Sabbath name.
Tony Martin: Not just live stuff. I’ve got about eight tracks that we never released. Just from the writing sessions and rehearsals and stuff that we used to do. They just can’t get out. They just won’t allow it.
I don’t understand. Well, I kind of understand. When you’re trying to protect your name, your mark, your image, your everything, which is where the band politics comes in, they won’t allow you to do anything that they think. And there’s all kinds of… Everybody from Ozzy to Dio to everybody. They don’t want their thing to be diluted or taken away. I do understand that. There are people involved all along the way that have an objection of some kind or another.
Phil Aston: But I guess, hopefully, this box set’s going to sell out really quickly and will show there’s a demand for this material and for this part of Black Sabbath history. There’s a lot of love for it. A lot of people worked really hard within it, like yourself. They’re great albums, wonderful songs. If there’s other music waiting in the wings, whereas we all get older, thinking through the eyes of the fan, it would go down so well, wouldn’t it? But I am, as you are, very grateful that these four albums have arrived in a box.
Tony Martin: Yes, it’s an important thing for me. It’s an important thing for the band, and it’s a great thing for the fans. I’m thrilled. It’s been an honor to be part of the story. I love the fact that it’s out there now. They did say there is no limit to the box sets. They have sold out on day one.
Phil Aston: I’m not surprised.
Tony Martin: They said the way they do it is they tend to poll the outlets and stuff and say, “How many do you think you can sell?” And they put their numbers in, and they’ve gone way past that. So now they’ve got to go back and produce more. There’s no limit to it. I love what they’ve done. There’s more in the box set than just the albums. Posters, programs, and everything.
Phil Aston: And then Forbidden. I’ll be honest, Tony, when I heard this for the first time back in the day, I didn’t like it. I tried, but I didn’t like it. My son liked it because I think probably because his dad didn’t. But now the remix, it’s as if someone’s released the drums and the guitars. It sounds like a Black Sabbath album. It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it?
Tony Martin: It does. It’s brilliant. I love the fact that they’ve dismantled it and put it back in a way that they couldn’t or didn’t with the other three. Forbidden needed it for all kinds of reasons. It was done under a sort of cloud where a lot of us weren’t really into it very much. But it was also an attempt at trying to give Sabbath a kind of acceptable twist to the youth. It didn’t work.
Phil Aston: The nineties were weird, weren’t they? The nineties were strange for heavy rock.
Tony Martin: The problem was we were fast heading towards great new bands like Nirvana and eventually Green Day and Metallica doing stuff. We were going and they were trying to change the sound to fit in. It didn’t work. We didn’t think it would. But there are people out there that love Forbidden as it is. I said that to Iommi. Last time I saw him, there are people out there that love it. He said, “They’ll probably love this version now.” But shaking the chains, guilty as hell, rusty angels, forbidden. And of course, “Loser Gets It All” is a great track. That wasn’t even on the album originally.
Phil Aston: It’s brilliant.
Tony Martin: Yeah. Strange. I absolutely love it now. It does sound like a Black Sabbath album. It sounds like it should be there in amongst the others. They’ve done a great job. Tony and his engineers have really pulled it together. It’s slightly more guitar and slightly less keyboard. They’ve done Cozy’s drums. Fantastic job on those.
Phil Aston: They’re just unleashed, aren’t they?
Tony Martin: Yes. They haven’t changed anything. They’ve mixed it and given it a new attitude, which is brilliant. They’ve given it more space. It sounds bigger. I just love what they’ve done to it. I’m really proud of it now. I didn’t like it then. There’s still a couple of tracks where I would love to have gone back in and…
Phil Aston: Yeah, you know.
Tony Martin: I thought at the time, because I was that off it at the time, my head just wasn’t quite there. A couple of tracks I thought I could have done better. I did sort of say when they were doing it, “Can I go back in?” They said, “No.”
Phil Aston: I suppose because that might edge towards it being a new recording then.
Tony Martin: Yeah, tricky. I’m not going to tell you which tracks it is, but there were a couple in there that I wasn’t quite happy with. But on the whole, it’s a great job they’ve done.
Phil Aston: Because when you were playing live, there were more songs from your period in Sabbath coming into the set, weren’t there? You were a unique vocalist in many ways for the band. You could cover Ozzy, Dio. You probably could have done Ian Gillan. Anything. You could have the ultimate set list, really, going through every era.
Tony Martin: That was a bit of a mistake. I told them I could sing anything, really. They thought, “What can we give him to sing?” They threw all sorts of stuff at me. I had a shot. Fortunately, I’ve got the kind of voice that can get around most things, and that’s a result of being in so many different kinds of music. I’ve been involved in everything from reggae to rock.
Phil Aston: Who were your key vocal influences growing up? As you say, outside of this Black Sabbath badge, your voice can go in any direction. So who were your influences? Was it blues, soul, rock?
Tony Martin: It kept changing. Everything I listened to, I thought, “That’s good. That’s good.” Each couple of years, something else took my attention. I’d really pour my soul into it. When I started off with reggae, believe it or not, I worked with Musical Youth and Dexys Midnight Runners in the studio. I was a guitarist back then. Then I loved blues. I got into prog rock bands like Yes, King Crimson, Jethro Tull. Then it shifted to Emerson, Lake & Palmer. That led to Rush and bands like that. Then I had to come down out of that prog rock technical stuff because Sabbath is much more honest and basic and straightforward. To a point. When you’re in the band and you find out how he does it, it’s stunning. I never even gave it a thought. I thought, “It’s got to be easy.” It wasn’t easy at all. Iommi can put seven, eight different riffs into one song, and each one of the riffs could be a song on their own.
Phil Aston: Very true.
Tony Martin: So, wow. You get your head around it. It’s weird. Plus, the time signatures he was throwing at us. There was a 14/4 and a 15/8 or something he was throwing at us. How he gets his head around it, I just don’t know. When I saw him a few weeks ago, he said, “You did a really good job on this.” I said, “Thanks, man.” He said, “I actually don’t know how you sang over some of this stuff.” I said, “Neither do I.”
Phil Aston: Just mad, isn’t it? You could try anything. I might have thought, “That means you might be able to put some of the songs in that Ozzy couldn’t do into the set. Or I can try something that I’ve never been able to do before because Tony says he can do anything.”
Tony Martin: It’s because I showed willing. I told them I’d have a go. And I did have a go. I did put into it. The songs, the writing, the live shows, whatever. I kind of made a rod for my own back in some ways because it was hard flicking between all of the different vocal techniques. But I did my best. It sort of came across okay. The problem is when you try to do stuff like that, it can sound a bit like a tribute act. But we got it nailed, I think. Especially having people like Cozy Powell, Geezer Butler, and all those guys in the band. We were willing to seek out that Sabbath sound, and we were conscious of it. So we were all aiming for the same thing. From outside, it might have looked like a chaotic mess. But on the inside, it all had a focus. We were all willing to give it a go. That’s what I think they saw in me. I knew they liked my voice, but I think that’s what they saw, a willingness to have a go and see if you can make it work. All those different time signatures and riffs that I had to go, looking back, to me, it’s Black Sabbath. Like,
Phil Aston I’m a Deep Purple fan, and every lineup of Deep Purple is still Deep Purple. I know Black Sabbath, there’s lots of politics in the way some of the fans look at it. But I think, which is why they had Heaven and Hell later on instead of Black Sabbath, because of the politics. But listening to these four albums, one after the other, you brought to life Viking mythology and song. More death. Just your passion and the way you projected the lyrics and your phrasing makes these albums unique. An important part of the Sabbath story. Finally, do you feel like this outpouring of love for this lineup is validating everything? Any doubt that might have been back then?
Tony Martin: Yeah, doesn’t it just? The biggest validation is from Tony Iommi himself. It wasn’t regarded that highly until he sat and listened to it without the bickering going around. When I went down a few weeks ago, he said, “You did a great job on this. There’s fantastic songs on here.” I said, “I know.” It’s just that validation that he gives it. The fact that the fans are returning to it. The fact that we’ve got new fans coming to it. Whole new record labels. I think it’s Rhino in America. It’s BMG in the UK, Europe. The record labels are coming back to it and getting behind it. They see something in it. The management sees something in it. So it’s all coming together. Which is a shame because I’m not in the band anymore.
Phil Aston Who knows? Maybe you and Tony will think, “It’d be great if some of this other stuff can come out at some point and we don’t have to wait another 25 years.”
Tony Martin: If he was going to do that, he’d say, “Let’s just write some new stuff.” But from what I’ve been told, Tony’s touring dates are done now. He won’t be going out on the road again. That’s probably out of the question for writing. I did tell him I was interested if he wants to do something. But he’s got so much going on. He’s still busy. Doing stuff. He had that ballet, the Black Sabbath ballet.
Phil Aston: Yeah, that’s true.
Tony Martin: Never saw that coming. No, he’s working on all kinds of stuff. He’s writing new material for something else now.
Phil Aston: So what about you, Tony? Have you got any plans for another solo album?
Tony Martin: I never actually stopped. For the past 25 years, my career took me into the studio and writing for people. My voice appears on 89 albums and projects now. It’s been good for me. I owe everything to Black Sabbath because that’s how the world got to hear my voice. People know what they’re talking about when they talk to me. “Can you write, can you sing on this?” They already know what they’re hearing or expecting. I always try to make it better than what they give me in the first place. A lot of that is me in the studio, and I’m happy, and I still am, happy doing that. But I do tend to choose what I do these days.
Phil Aston: Yeah, that makes sense.
Tony Martin: So I’m still doing the odd thing for people now. I did have a solo album a couple of years ago called Thorns.
Phil Aston: Great album.
Tony Martin: Yeah, totally unknown guitarist from America, Scott McClellan. I only met him because he kept badgering me on Facebook. He kept sending me stuff. I was like, “Go away.” He said, “Listen to this. What about this one?” In the end, I listened to it and it was brilliant. So I gave it a go and it turned out really well. But then Covid interrupted that and we couldn’t get out there with it. Some countries were saying, “Yeah, you can come,” and other countries were saying, “No, you can’t.” It all got distracted. I haven’t finished with Thorns because they wanted to do a vinyl for it. They said we had to take some tracks off to get it to fit on the vinyl. I don’t want to take any tracks off.
Phil Aston: Make it a double.
Tony Martin: Yeah, make it a double. Write some more. I wasn’t prepared for that. I’m pacing up, trying to write some new songs. Scott has sent me loads. We’ve got enough tracks for Thorns 2, but I haven’t finished Thorns 1 yet. I’ve got to come back to that. I do want to finish that off and get that done. Then if we can do the next Thorns thing, who knows? We’d like to try and get it out on the road. Getting out on the road for me is so different to the Sabbath thing. The Sabbath machine is huge. They only have to mention it and all the cogs start turning all at the same time all the way around the world. It all starts fitting into place within days, within weeks. On your own, it’s different. I can’t do that. I have to hire other musicians to go out on the road and rehearse the whole thing and start again with a brand new show. It’s a lot harder for me, but I would love to get back out there. My career took me into the studio, so I’ve got more to do. But I just tend to choose now.
Phil Aston: If people want to get Thorns, is it DarkstarRecords.net? Is that the best place?
Tony Martin: No, Battle God. They are the main label. Darkstar were involved and they’re still there, but they’ve had some troubles in the past couple of years. They were on board and I did two versions of it from between the two territories. I liked that. But mostly now, Battle God is the label to grab hold of it. It’s still available and I’m still signing them. People send me the stuff to sign.
Phil Aston: But I haven’t finished yet, so there’s more to come.
Phil Aston: Brilliant. Well, thanks very much, Tony, for all of your time today. Everybody, make sure you go and get a copy on CD or vinyl of this Black Sabbath Tony Martin years box set, “Anno Domini.” It’s absolutely superb.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it is good. I’m just smiling. I think it’s brilliant.
Phil Aston: No, that’s it, isn’t it? Whatever anyone thinks, these albums are available again. People can hear just how awesome this time for Sabbath really was.
Tony Martin: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Phil Aston: All right, take care, and hopefully I’ll talk to you again in the future.
Tony Martin: Thank you. All right, Phil, thanks, mate. Cheers.
Phil Aston: Well, a huge thank you to my guest, Tony Martin. That was fantastic. I’m almost lost for words in knowing what to say to sum up that interview because I know a lot of you are really interested in this box set, “Anno Domini” by Black Sabbath, which is out on CD and vinyl. Just as I thought, it’s sold out already, but there’s going to be another pressing. I was able to ask some of the questions I know some of you have been wanting to know, like why weren’t there extra tracks? Why wasn’t the live Cross Purposes included, etc. So now you know. Some of it is really exciting because it means there might be a companion set with some outtakes or live stuff as well. That’s really exciting.
Tony Martin is a fantastic vocalist, really passionate, really imaginative with his lyrics and his vision of how he writes his music. These four albums are essential. They’re Black Sabbath albums, okay? That’s what they are. They sound like Black Sabbath albums. Wasn’t it interesting that Geezer Butler said Cross Purposes is the best album he’d ever played on? It is a truly remarkable album. But they all are: from Headless Cross, to Tyr (which I can now pronounce correctly), Cross Purposes, and Forbidden, which has been given a new lease of life. Seriously, it is incredible. Just stunning.
Thank you again to Tony Martin for joining me here on the Now Spinning Magazine podcast. Please keep spinning those discs, whether they are vinyl or CD. Check us out on the podcast. We’re on every platform you can think of, from Apple to Spotify to Amazon. Of course, we’re on YouTube. Please subscribe and check out the website at nowspinning.co.uk. Remember, music is the healer and the doctor. So take care and I’ll see you all very, very soon.
Watch the full interview here
Phil Aston Now Spinning Magazine
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Tony Martin: Thank you. And thank you for having me on the show. Very cool.
Phil Aston: A bit of context, because I think this is kind of helpful for you. My son is 30 now, but when he was 15, he set up a Facebook group, kind of saying, “One day, please can we have the Tony Martin Black Sabbath albums released?” That was 15 years ago. He was still at school, half his lifetime ago. And I think in the early time when he set this up, he may have reached out to you and you might have said something like, “I don’t think it’s gonna happen, Dan.” And here we are, all these years later, and it’s not only happened, but it comes out this Friday. How does that feel to know that these albums are now going to be available again?
Tony Martin: Well, first of all, well done to your son. It took 15 years, but he got it done. To be honest, there’s been a few periods when I didn’t think it was happening. In fact, about a year ago, Tony Iommi’s manager called me and said, “You know what, this is just so complicated. I don’t think we can do this.” So I was resigned to it not happening myself. It’s all to do with band politics, really. There are so many people involved or have their fingers in the pie that they all have to be on board. And there were allegiances changing all over the place, left, right, and center. So in the end, it was getting a bit tiring, but well done to Tony Iommi and BMG. My God, the patience they showed to get this thing together and actually get it out there. Wow. But how does it feel? It feels brilliant, to be honest. I’m very excited. I haven’t actually had these albums in my own hands physically for the past 25 years. I gave all mine away thinking I’d be able to get some more, and I didn’t. They just stopped making them. So to actually physically hold them again is really cool. What a great job they’ve done of it. So I’m thrilled and excited. And I’m helping out now because I’m not in the band, obviously, anymore. So I just offered my help to promote it and they said, “Great, let’s do it.”
Phil Aston: Isn’t it amazing? Because I’ve done quite a few reviews about Black Sabbath box sets and stuff, but this one, within about 12 hours, there’s literally 12,000 views of the review. The love for this period of Black Sabbath is actually huge. It’s grown. It almost feels as if the profile is higher now than it was at the time.
Tony Martin: Yeah, there is a kind of reason for that. Partly people have got over the “it’s the new guy” thing, and also it’s been 25 years since. So now we’re reaching out to a whole other group of people, in addition to those that were already there. But to the outside world, it looks like there was a huge gap, and to me it felt like a huge gap. But actually, the fans were always there. I’ve been waiting myself as well to get this back out there. And it’s just band politics, really. That’s all it is.
Phil Aston: Because you had that period when it was almost as if this part of Sabbath’s history was hidden because of band politics. None of this really happened, which I think probably stirred up more interest and kind of people wanting to find out more.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it could be. It’s an old famous thing, you know, if something ain’t around for a while, people start talking about it. But yeah, it’s a strange thing, the music business. You’re either in fashion or you’re not. But I am just thrilled that they’ve got around it. Just the patience they’ve shown to actually put this together. At one point they were just saying, “We can’t do it.” But I’m really chuffed anyway.
Phil Aston: I imagine there’s been compromises along the way. Lots of fans probably don’t understand how complicated the politics and all the different licenses and everything that goes on over the years, they become more and more entangled. People say, “Where’s Eternal Idol?” But of course, that was a different record label. Different people own it.
Tony Martin: Yeah, absolutely. It’s owned by somebody else. And also Eternal Idol, or “Eternal Idiot,” as we call it, was kind of reissued not that long ago. Really.
Phil Aston: That’s right. With the two CD version, wasn’t it?
Tony Martin: Yeah. So they were kind of thinking, “Well, there’s no real panic because that’s already been done and let’s just move on.” Because that would have wrapped them up in contracts for centuries, I think. I can’t even think that they’ll ever get them to let that go. But they were struggling to get the people involved with these four albums to make up their minds and do stuff. I’ve been all for it all the way along, I have to say. Obviously, because it’s my career, my history. It’s not just the band’s history. It’s ten years of my life that went AWOL. So, yeah, I’ve been up for it all the way along, but some people don’t and it’s taken them a while to get on board.
Phil Aston: I think it’s fantastic. The first one was Headless Cross. You joined one of the biggest rock bands with all that history behind it. You were an established singer with the Alliance. But this was a chance, as you say, with Eternal Idol, you went in and it was already prepared. You sang it, but this one was where you could really put your mark on it, your personality lyrically as well as musically. Can you remember what it was like actually being at the beginning of that? Did you feel comfortable around Iommi and Powell and thinking, “Right, what kind of lyrics am I going to do by Headless Cross?”
Tony Martin: Yeah, I was comfortable by then. Well, kind of. The thing is, with Eternal Idol, if I can just backstep a little bit. The Eternal Idol wasn’t the first call up. The first call up was in 1986 when they were doing the Seventh Star with Glenn Hughes. And that scared me to death because I can’t sing like Glenn Hughes. Nobody can sing like Glenn Hughes. They put me on standby back then, so I’d sort of tentatively had an introduction to Tony Iommi. Then in ’87, they got me in for the audition, and that was the next introduction to Tony Iommi. But because Eternal Idol was already written, that gave me a whole year plus a bit more to find out what this thing was. What the hell was I supposed to do? So just doing Eternal Idol like that was fine by me because I didn’t have to discover anything myself back then. It gave me a chance to get my feet in. So by the time it got to Headless Cross, now I know all the guys, and I kind of know what’s expected of me. I still had to find the “me” that I needed to find. I went around it the only way I could, by focusing on things I was interested in. I couldn’t do the lyrics and melodies that Geezer was writing for Ozzy because that was a generation before me. The stuff that Ronnie was doing was fantastic, but I couldn’t get inside his head. So I had to think about what I was going to do. I had an interest in the old gothic death stuff, like Dracula and Frankenstein, Mary Shelley type writing, and of course, in England, we have Shakespeare. Nobody speaks English like that anymore, that old English text. I thought, “Old English text, gothic death, and Black Sabbath. That might work.” So I put them all together and came up with Headless Cross, which is where I lived. I lived in a village called Headless Cross.
Phil Aston: Yeah, you put that on the map. They weren’t pleased about it. The most recognition I’ve got is my name on a bus stop. And Cozy Powell thought the album needed more death, didn’t he?
Tony Martin: Oh, that’s true. That’s actually true. We were recording “When Death Calls,” and he was in the studio playing, and he suddenly stopped. We went, “You alright?” He went, “Yeah, just remind me, what’s this song called again?” I said, “It’s called When Death Calls.” He said, “I don’t think there’s enough death in it.” And he carried on playing. So, okay, maybe he’s taking the piss, but isn’t it such a great sounding album? As Tony Iommi says, he never left Black Sabbath. So when people criticize him, saying, “You should change the name or whatever,” he never left. So it was still Black Sabbath. The riffs, the guitar sound was reaching new peaks of excellence around this time.
Because when it was just him and Ozzy, for example, it was guitar, that was it. When Geoff Nichols joined during the Dio period, it introduced a few more keyboard things. That allowed Iommi to play solos against those keyboard pads and chords. And then you come along and start sticking 50 tracks of vocal harmonies on it, like in Anno Mundi and stuff like that. It just kept developing. Sabbath isn’t really known for vocal harmonies and keyboards, but underneath that was still Tony Iommi. And it still sounded like Sabbath. We were happy to do that. We just wanted to make Tony happy and do the best for him. It was his band. So we were happy to seek out that Sabbath sound and make sure it did what it said on the tin. A couple of times, like with the Seventh Star thing, he ventured a little bit away from it. Songs like Heart Like a Wheel don’t really make the Black Sabbath sound, but it’s still good stuff. I have great respect for all of the eras that went before. I had to sing all of the songs. So I do have great respect for it. And it’s been an honor, you know, like being part of the whole story. But he was the only one that stuck it out. And we respected him for that. You’re right, they did ask him to change a couple of times. He said, “No, I can’t change now.”
Phil Aston: The next one, if I pronounce this right, it’s Tyr.
Tony Martin: Yeah.
Phil Aston: Because when it came out, me and my friends, actually, because there was no Internet back then and nowhere to go and check it, we did call it Tyr. To be.
Tony Martin: Yeah, Tyr.
Phil Aston: Watch you find in Birmingham. You know what I mean? So it actually rhymes with beer, doesn’t it?
Tony Martin: It is, yeah. Actually, it’s Tiw, which is Scandinavian for the son of Odin or something.
Phil Aston: Well, this is almost as close, probably, to Sabbath getting into almost a concept album. Isn’t it? This is a collection of songs that in another time and space you probably as a band would have gone out and performed the whole thing.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it wasn’t meant that way, but they were struggling to find a name for the album. We were recording and getting towards the end and the management called us up and said, “We really need a name for this album.” And Cozy said, “I’ve got one. Let’s call it Satanic Verses.” We went, “What, like Salman Rushdie thing?” He said, “Yeah, it would be great publicity.” We said, “Yeah, but we’ll all be dead.” So we did struggle, but they happened across the artwork. We’d done Anno Mundi, we’d done Gates of Valhalla and all that sort of stuff. They went, “What if… Tyr?” It was fine by me. So it took on the Viking sort of theme. By that time, I was thinking, once I’d done Headless Cross and started to have an interest in the Vikings and stuff. As you know, the Vikings haven’t been particularly good for us. They came over and stole all our women and sheep and whatever. But I had an interest in them as well. So I was thinking, every culture, every religion has its dark side. There’s always a devil type in a god type. I thought we could go around the world and I could do this. You could pick up on all sorts of cultures and pick out the dark side of various things. But it was the last kind of… I still did that with various other songs and various other artists. But Tyr was leaning towards that theme.
Phil Aston: It’s an excellent album. Then of course, the strangeness of the politics in Sabbath. Dehumanizer comes along and Dio re-enters the scene. You obviously had an opportunity because every cloud has a silver lining. You can go off and do your solo album at this time. But you did kind of like… It sounds like it was almost a forced relationship, the way that he was and he wasn’t. I mean, how was that period for you? Because you did demo some of the tracks, didn’t you?
Tony Martin: Firstly, it was a shock. I didn’t see that coming at all. Literally just walking out the door to the next writing rehearsals. My managers called up and said, “They don’t want you to go.” From what I recently found out, although I had my suspicions, Tony Iommi said the record label just wasn’t supporting it. They weren’t getting behind us at all. Then they started banding about all different names and stuff, and Ronnie’s name came up. They thought they’d give it a go. He said it was all on and off all the time. After they let me go, it wasn’t too long before Tony called me back and said, “Can you come back?” I said, “No, I can’t. I’m doing my solo album.” More time went by, and he called me back again and said, “Are you sure you can’t come back?” I said, “I’m doing my solo album. I really can’t.” He said, “Do you want to come down and try?” So I did. I went down and tried putting my voice on some of the songs, but it would have meant rewriting everything, and they weren’t going to do that. So I said, “The best thing is if you finish this with Ronnie, get this done and out of the way, then maybe we can talk again later.” So that’s kind of what happened. By that time, I’d done my solo album, which I wanted to get as far away from the Sabbath thing as I could at the time. I went back to doing what the Alliance and some of the bands I’d been with, that middle-of-the-road AOR type stuff. But when they called me back to Sabbath, Polydor dropped my solo album like a brick. They said, “We can’t do this if you’re going to go back with them.” So that got stopped. It’s so confusing. By the time I got back with the guys to Cross Purposes, it didn’t feel that much of a gap for me, because I’ve been talking to them and working with them through the Dehumanizer thing.
Phil Aston: Stylistically, that album, because it was on the IRS label, I know some people have said, “Well, it should be in there.” Stylistically, musically, it’s very different. I mean, you take it out. These four albums in this set, excluding Eternal Idol, they sound like a progression. Dehumanizer sounds like a kind of sidestep. Even the way the riffs are done in the songs, it’s changed. You take the vocalist out, but the music continued. You took you out and it was very different.
Tony Martin: I suppose it does a bit. If I go back and think over it, I guess that’s what it was. It was kind of an interruption into the flow of things. When we were doing Tyr, I thought we were doing really well. I thought we were onto something. Dehumanizer, in that sort of respect, does feel a little bit like an interruption. But there was some good stuff on there. Ronnie’s always been a good singer. I don’t quite know how they feel about it, but it was kind of nothing to do with me. I just let them get on with it.
Phil Aston: After that, Cross Purposes is probably, out of the four albums in this set, my personal favorite. Geezer’s back in the band now, so you’ve got his bubbling bass in there. And again, lyrically, it’s all you. Did you feel any kind of, “Oh, Geezer’s back. Will he want to help out?”
Tony Martin: I did ask. He just said, “No, you can do it.” So I just carried on.
Phil Aston
The reason why I love this album is that it’s varied. A lot of people think of Black Sabbath as the Godfathers of heavy metal, and heavy metal is always heavy metal. But if you think back to albums like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath in the seventies, they weren’t all heavy metal. There were all sorts of things on there. There were keyboards and light and shade. This, I felt, connected to that album, because you had light and shade on it. So there were more dynamics in the lyrical delivery and the song delivery, in the way that Iommi is weaving his riffs around the melodies. What are your thoughts looking back on this album now?
Tony Martin: I think you’ve just summed it up. It did sort of shift up a notch. Not only that, but the sound they were getting with Leif Mases producing it, it sort of grew up. It lifted somehow out of what they’d done before. It felt like, “Oh, this sounds good.” The songwriting and the exploring we were doing with the songs and stuff. At the time, Geezer Butler said that’s the best album he’s ever been on. He never said that again, but he said it at the time.
Phil Aston: I can imagine him saying just that.
Tony Martin: But it was good. Having Bobby Rondinelli in the band as well. Technically amazing. Brilliant player. His drums close in, and he plays with his wrists. Very technical. Whereas Cozy’s drums are stretched out far and wide. He’d lean over and hit them. But great to have them both in. What an honor. I mean, it’s Geezer Butler as well.
Phil Aston: When you got to South America, Bill Ward was in for a few gigs, wasn’t he? That must have been quite surreal. Bill Ward and Geezer playing songs like Headless Cross, which they had nothing to do with.
Tony Martin: They had nothing to do with. We were kind of weird because once we’d started to get Geezer and Bill back in, they wanted to start doing more of the older songs. That just makes you look, read between the lines going, “What’s going on? Where’s this going?” Once it’s happened to you, you know it. Then you’re reading between the lines. You start to feel it. Then you go, “Ah, right.” You can feel it. They’re clearing up. I did ask if they were going to do a reunion with Ozzy. Iommi was always denying it. Said, “No, no, we’re not doing that.” But I didn’t mind. The reason for that is because I knew what I could do in the future then. I thought, “Well, if they just tell me, that’s fine. Cause then I can plan.” The first time it was a shock and I didn’t know what to do. But I was kind of keyed up for it the next time. But he kept going. They got Bill in. I love Bill. I think he’s brilliant. We did some shows with him. But for some reason, and I don’t know what it is, I mean, I can tell you Iommi loves Bill. He regaled so many stories about when they were out there and how funny it was. I never understood why they never gave him time to get back in it. When you think of Def Leppard, they made a drum kit for a one-armed drummer.
Phil Aston: Yes, very true.
Tony Martin: Surely they can find time to get Bill settled back in. Whatever problems they’ve got. I mean, come on.
Phil Aston: You would think, yeah, very true.
Tony Martin: Get on with it. I thought, “Right, this is going to go south again.” But it didn’t. We carried on with Forbidden, and then Cozy came back after his accident. It was really up and down. Confusing. People in and out. During the time I was in the band, there were eight different lineups.
Phil Aston: It was very much a revolving door, wasn’t it? Before we move on, I just want to ask, because I know a lot of fans ask this. In the booklets in these box sets, there’s an image of Cross Purposes Live. That was a VHS tape and a CD. Is there a reason why that wasn’t included in some way? Is that game politics?
Tony Martin: I did ask about that, and they were just keen to get on with it. They said, “Come on, let’s go, let’s do it.” What they told me was that they’re going to take their time now to see what else they can gather and do an additional thing to this along the way with more of that in it. With the Cross Purposes Live and some other stuff. There’s a track that I recorded with them when Eddie Van Halen came and did Evil Eye.
Phil Aston: Yes, yeah, Evil Eye, wasn’t it?
Tony Martin: Yeah. I used to take the track out. I had it everywhere. Writing sessions, recording sessions, rehearsals. I just happened to be there. I didn’t even know who was coming. Iommi just turned up with Eddie Van Halen. I went, “Holy hell, it’s Eddie Van Halen. What’s he doing here?” He did some rehearsals with us and then disappeared. Never saw him again. But I got the recordings of the rehearsals that we did.
Phil Aston: Oh, wow.
Tony Martin: So I sent them to Tony Iommi. I said, “Use these. Get these on.” He said, “No, no, we can’t.” The reason they said was anything that has the slightest newness about it looks like a new Black Sabbath track or album track. They’re not allowed to release anything new under the Black Sabbath name. So even if it’s historical, they couldn’t allow it. It’s really weird.
Phil Aston: That means there must be lots of live stuff recorded. More bands were recording live stuff from the nineties onwards that you just couldn’t work on because it would go out under the Black Sabbath name.
Tony Martin: Not just live stuff. I’ve got about eight tracks that we never released. Just from the writing sessions and rehearsals and stuff that we used to do. They just can’t get out. They just won’t allow it.
I don’t understand. Well, I kind of understand. When you’re trying to protect your name, your mark, your image, your everything, which is where the band politics comes in, they won’t allow you to do anything that they think. And there’s all kinds of… Everybody from Ozzy to Dio to everybody. They don’t want their thing to be diluted or taken away. I do understand that. There are people involved all along the way that have an objection of some kind or another.
Phil Aston: But I guess, hopefully, this box set’s going to sell out really quickly and will show there’s a demand for this material and for this part of Black Sabbath history. There’s a lot of love for it. A lot of people worked really hard within it, like yourself. They’re great albums, wonderful songs. If there’s other music waiting in the wings, whereas we all get older, thinking through the eyes of the fan, it would go down so well, wouldn’t it? But I am, as you are, very grateful that these four albums have arrived in a box.
Tony Martin: Yes, it’s an important thing for me. It’s an important thing for the band, and it’s a great thing for the fans. I’m thrilled. It’s been an honor to be part of the story. I love the fact that it’s out there now. They did say there is no limit to the box sets. They have sold out on day one.
Phil Aston: I’m not surprised.
Tony Martin: They said the way they do it is they tend to poll the outlets and stuff and say, “How many do you think you can sell?” And they put their numbers in, and they’ve gone way past that. So now they’ve got to go back and produce more. There’s no limit to it. I love what they’ve done. There’s more in the box set than just the albums. Posters, programs, and everything.
Phil Aston: And then Forbidden. I’ll be honest, Tony, when I heard this for the first time back in the day, I didn’t like it. I tried, but I didn’t like it. My son liked it because I think probably because his dad didn’t. But now the remix, it’s as if someone’s released the drums and the guitars. It sounds like a Black Sabbath album. It sounds fantastic, doesn’t it?
Tony Martin: It does. It’s brilliant. I love the fact that they’ve dismantled it and put it back in a way that they couldn’t or didn’t with the other three. Forbidden needed it for all kinds of reasons. It was done under a sort of cloud where a lot of us weren’t really into it very much. But it was also an attempt at trying to give Sabbath a kind of acceptable twist to the youth. It didn’t work.
Phil Aston: The nineties were weird, weren’t they? The nineties were strange for heavy rock.
Tony Martin: The problem was we were fast heading towards great new bands like Nirvana and eventually Green Day and Metallica doing stuff. We were going and they were trying to change the sound to fit in. It didn’t work. We didn’t think it would. But there are people out there that love Forbidden as it is. I said that to Iommi. Last time I saw him, there are people out there that love it. He said, “They’ll probably love this version now.” But shaking the chains, guilty as hell, rusty angels, forbidden. And of course, “Loser Gets It All” is a great track. That wasn’t even on the album originally.
Phil Aston: It’s brilliant.
Tony Martin: Yeah. Strange. I absolutely love it now. It does sound like a Black Sabbath album. It sounds like it should be there in amongst the others. They’ve done a great job. Tony and his engineers have really pulled it together. It’s slightly more guitar and slightly less keyboard. They’ve done Cozy’s drums. Fantastic job on those.
Phil Aston: They’re just unleashed, aren’t they?
Tony Martin: Yes. They haven’t changed anything. They’ve mixed it and given it a new attitude, which is brilliant. They’ve given it more space. It sounds bigger. I just love what they’ve done to it. I’m really proud of it now. I didn’t like it then. There’s still a couple of tracks where I would love to have gone back in and…
Phil Aston: Yeah, you know.
Tony Martin: I thought at the time, because I was that off it at the time, my head just wasn’t quite there. A couple of tracks I thought I could have done better. I did sort of say when they were doing it, “Can I go back in?” They said, “No.”
Phil Aston: I suppose because that might edge towards it being a new recording then.
Tony Martin: Yeah, tricky. I’m not going to tell you which tracks it is, but there were a couple in there that I wasn’t quite happy with. But on the whole, it’s a great job they’ve done.
Phil Aston: Because when you were playing live, there were more songs from your period in Sabbath coming into the set, weren’t there? You were a unique vocalist in many ways for the band. You could cover Ozzy, Dio. You probably could have done Ian Gillan. Anything. You could have the ultimate set list, really, going through every era.
Tony Martin: That was a bit of a mistake. I told them I could sing anything, really. They thought, “What can we give him to sing?” They threw all sorts of stuff at me. I had a shot. Fortunately, I’ve got the kind of voice that can get around most things, and that’s a result of being in so many different kinds of music. I’ve been involved in everything from reggae to rock.
Phil Aston: Who were your key vocal influences growing up? As you say, outside of this Black Sabbath badge, your voice can go in any direction. So who were your influences? Was it blues, soul, rock?
Tony Martin: It kept changing. Everything I listened to, I thought, “That’s good. That’s good.” Each couple of years, something else took my attention. I’d really pour my soul into it. When I started off with reggae, believe it or not, I worked with Musical Youth and Dexys Midnight Runners in the studio. I was a guitarist back then. Then I loved blues. I got into prog rock bands like Yes, King Crimson, Jethro Tull. Then it shifted to Emerson, Lake & Palmer. That led to Rush and bands like that. Then I had to come down out of that prog rock technical stuff because Sabbath is much more honest and basic and straightforward. To a point. When you’re in the band and you find out how he does it, it’s stunning. I never even gave it a thought. I thought, “It’s got to be easy.” It wasn’t easy at all. Iommi can put seven, eight different riffs into one song, and each one of the riffs could be a song on their own.
Phil Aston: Very true.
Tony Martin: So, wow. You get your head around it. It’s weird. Plus, the time signatures he was throwing at us. There was a 14/4 and a 15/8 or something he was throwing at us. How he gets his head around it, I just don’t know. When I saw him a few weeks ago, he said, “You did a really good job on this.” I said, “Thanks, man.” He said, “I actually don’t know how you sang over some of this stuff.” I said, “Neither do I.”
Phil Aston: Just mad, isn’t it? You could try anything. I might have thought, “That means you might be able to put some of the songs in that Ozzy couldn’t do into the set. Or I can try something that I’ve never been able to do before because Tony says he can do anything.”
Tony Martin: It’s because I showed willing. I told them I’d have a go. And I did have a go. I did put into it. The songs, the writing, the live shows, whatever. I kind of made a rod for my own back in some ways because it was hard flicking between all of the different vocal techniques. But I did my best. It sort of came across okay. The problem is when you try to do stuff like that, it can sound a bit like a tribute act. But we got it nailed, I think. Especially having people like Cozy Powell, Geezer Butler, and all those guys in the band. We were willing to seek out that Sabbath sound, and we were conscious of it. So we were all aiming for the same thing. From outside, it might have looked like a chaotic mess. But on the inside, it all had a focus. We were all willing to give it a go. That’s what I think they saw in me. I knew they liked my voice, but I think that’s what they saw, a willingness to have a go and see if you can make it work. All those different time signatures and riffs that I had to go, looking back, to me, it’s Black Sabbath. Like,
Phil Aston I’m a Deep Purple fan, and every lineup of Deep Purple is still Deep Purple. I know Black Sabbath, there’s lots of politics in the way some of the fans look at it. But I think, which is why they had Heaven and Hell later on instead of Black Sabbath, because of the politics. But listening to these four albums, one after the other, you brought to life Viking mythology and song. More death. Just your passion and the way you projected the lyrics and your phrasing makes these albums unique. An important part of the Sabbath story. Finally, do you feel like this outpouring of love for this lineup is validating everything? Any doubt that might have been back then?
Tony Martin: Yeah, doesn’t it just? The biggest validation is from Tony Iommi himself. It wasn’t regarded that highly until he sat and listened to it without the bickering going around. When I went down a few weeks ago, he said, “You did a great job on this. There’s fantastic songs on here.” I said, “I know.” It’s just that validation that he gives it. The fact that the fans are returning to it. The fact that we’ve got new fans coming to it. Whole new record labels. I think it’s Rhino in America. It’s BMG in the UK, Europe. The record labels are coming back to it and getting behind it. They see something in it. The management sees something in it. So it’s all coming together. Which is a shame because I’m not in the band anymore.
Phil Aston Who knows? Maybe you and Tony will think, “It’d be great if some of this other stuff can come out at some point and we don’t have to wait another 25 years.”
Tony Martin: If he was going to do that, he’d say, “Let’s just write some new stuff.” But from what I’ve been told, Tony’s touring dates are done now. He won’t be going out on the road again. That’s probably out of the question for writing. I did tell him I was interested if he wants to do something. But he’s got so much going on. He’s still busy. Doing stuff. He had that ballet, the Black Sabbath ballet.
Phil Aston: Yeah, that’s true.
Tony Martin: Never saw that coming. No, he’s working on all kinds of stuff. He’s writing new material for something else now.
Phil Aston: So what about you, Tony? Have you got any plans for another solo album?
Tony Martin: I never actually stopped. For the past 25 years, my career took me into the studio and writing for people. My voice appears on 89 albums and projects now. It’s been good for me. I owe everything to Black Sabbath because that’s how the world got to hear my voice. People know what they’re talking about when they talk to me. “Can you write, can you sing on this?” They already know what they’re hearing or expecting. I always try to make it better than what they give me in the first place. A lot of that is me in the studio, and I’m happy, and I still am, happy doing that. But I do tend to choose what I do these days.
Phil Aston: Yeah, that makes sense.
Tony Martin: So I’m still doing the odd thing for people now. I did have a solo album a couple of years ago called Thorns.
Phil Aston: Great album.
Tony Martin: Yeah, totally unknown guitarist from America, Scott McClellan. I only met him because he kept badgering me on Facebook. He kept sending me stuff. I was like, “Go away.” He said, “Listen to this. What about this one?” In the end, I listened to it and it was brilliant. So I gave it a go and it turned out really well. But then Covid interrupted that and we couldn’t get out there with it. Some countries were saying, “Yeah, you can come,” and other countries were saying, “No, you can’t.” It all got distracted. I haven’t finished with Thorns because they wanted to do a vinyl for it. They said we had to take some tracks off to get it to fit on the vinyl. I don’t want to take any tracks off.
Phil Aston: Make it a double.
Tony Martin: Yeah, make it a double. Write some more. I wasn’t prepared for that. I’m pacing up, trying to write some new songs. Scott has sent me loads. We’ve got enough tracks for Thorns 2, but I haven’t finished Thorns 1 yet. I’ve got to come back to that. I do want to finish that off and get that done. Then if we can do the next Thorns thing, who knows? We’d like to try and get it out on the road. Getting out on the road for me is so different to the Sabbath thing. The Sabbath machine is huge. They only have to mention it and all the cogs start turning all at the same time all the way around the world. It all starts fitting into place within days, within weeks. On your own, it’s different. I can’t do that. I have to hire other musicians to go out on the road and rehearse the whole thing and start again with a brand new show. It’s a lot harder for me, but I would love to get back out there. My career took me into the studio, so I’ve got more to do. But I just tend to choose now.
Phil Aston: If people want to get Thorns, is it DarkstarRecords.net? Is that the best place?
Tony Martin: No, Battle God. They are the main label. Darkstar were involved and they’re still there, but they’ve had some troubles in the past couple of years. They were on board and I did two versions of it from between the two territories. I liked that. But mostly now, Battle God is the label to grab hold of it. It’s still available and I’m still signing them. People send me the stuff to sign.
Phil Aston: But I haven’t finished yet, so there’s more to come.
Phil Aston: Brilliant. Well, thanks very much, Tony, for all of your time today. Everybody, make sure you go and get a copy on CD or vinyl of this Black Sabbath Tony Martin years box set, “Anno Domini.” It’s absolutely superb.
Tony Martin: Yeah, it is good. I’m just smiling. I think it’s brilliant.
Phil Aston: No, that’s it, isn’t it? Whatever anyone thinks, these albums are available again. People can hear just how awesome this time for Sabbath really was.
Tony Martin: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Phil Aston: All right, take care, and hopefully I’ll talk to you again in the future.
Tony Martin: Thank you. All right, Phil, thanks, mate. Cheers.
Phil Aston: Well, a huge thank you to my guest, Tony Martin. That was fantastic. I’m almost lost for words in knowing what to say to sum up that interview because I know a lot of you are really interested in this box set, “Anno Domini” by Black Sabbath, which is out on CD and vinyl. Just as I thought, it’s sold out already, but there’s going to be another pressing. I was able to ask some of the questions I know some of you have been wanting to know, like why weren’t there extra tracks? Why wasn’t the live Cross Purposes included, etc. So now you know. Some of it is really exciting because it means there might be a companion set with some outtakes or live stuff as well. That’s really exciting.
Tony Martin is a fantastic vocalist, really passionate, really imaginative with his lyrics and his vision of how he writes his music. These four albums are essential. They’re Black Sabbath albums, okay? That’s what they are. They sound like Black Sabbath albums. Wasn’t it interesting that Geezer Butler said Cross Purposes is the best album he’d ever played on? It is a truly remarkable album. But they all are: from Headless Cross, to Tyr (which I can now pronounce correctly), Cross Purposes, and Forbidden, which has been given a new lease of life. Seriously, it is incredible. Just stunning.
Thank you again to Tony Martin for joining me here on the Now Spinning Magazine podcast. Please keep spinning those discs, whether they are vinyl or CD. Check us out on the podcast. We’re on every platform you can think of, from Apple to Spotify to Amazon. Of course, we’re on YouTube. Please subscribe and check out the website at nowspinning.co.uk. Remember, music is the healer and the doctor. So take care and I’ll see you all very, very soon.
Watch the full interview here
Phil Aston Now Spinning Magazine
2024.06.01 15:25 pauseglitched 5e homebrewed advanced alchemical items, looking for feedback.
I am starting work putting together a DnD 5e campaign for level 5 adventurers that would go up to level 11. The main hook will be Rogue (not the PC class) alchemists and performance drug dealers in conflict with the guilds of the 6 Nation's Unified Guilds and local law enforcement.
With alchemy being a major theme, I brainstormed a bunch of things for more advanced versions of adventuring gear for the guilds or criminals to sell, or the party to loot off their corpses. Elemental resistance and vulnerabilities will play a part in the homebrew enemies.
I am looking for feedback on
•how much to charge for the items. •Any recommendations on changes to damage or DCs. •wording changes for clarity.
(Some Ideas are more thought out than others)
Here we go.
Alchemist's Fire (flask)
This sticky, adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action you can throw this flask up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 1d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 10 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames.
War Fire (flask)
This alchemically enhanced adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. A vial held in hand may be thrown up to 20 ft. replacing an attack made as part of the attack action on your turn shattering on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 12 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames. Hit or miss, the liquid ignites a square 15 ft on a side of the ground centered on the target. Creatures who enter an ignited area for the first time on a turn or start their turn there take 2d4 fire damage. A square 5 foot section of ignited area can be extinguished as an action.
Dragons breath (Canister) This volatile concoction is illegal to carry into most cities. Typically stored in a magically reinforced container, militaries and criminal master alchemists are the only source, neither of which are likely to give up their secrets. As an action you can speak the command word and throw the canister up to 30 ft where it shatters in a conflagration. Everyone in a 15 ft radius must make a DC 16 Dex save taking 6d4 fire damage on a failure and are ignited. Objects not worn or carried automatically fail this save. Ignited creatures take 6d4 fire damage at the start of each of their turns. A creature may use an action to attempt to put out the fire on themselves or others with a DC 16 Dexterity Check. Creatures who succeed on their saving throw take half damage and are not ignited.
caltrops As an action, you can spread a single bag of caltrops to cover a 5-foot-square area. Any creature that enters the area must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or stop moving and take 1 piercing damage. Until the creature regains at least 1 hit point, its walking speed is reduced by 10 feet. A creature moving through the area at half speed doesn't need to make the saving throw.
Barbed Caltrops
As with caltrops, but the damage is 1d4 piercing and the caltrops stick to those who fail their saving throw dealing 1 point of piercing damage for every 5 feet of movement spent. The caltrops can be removed as an action and they must be removed before recovering HP in order to regain movement speed.
Footbane caltrop bag
This magic bag contains 20 caltrops. When the command word is spoken, the caltops spring out of the bag to a location within 15 ft of the caster and spread themselves out over a 10-ft square area. They continue to move around that area until another command word is spoken to return them to the bag, an hour passes, or five creatures fail their saving throw against them as they become too spread out to be effective. Any caltrops not returned to the bag within 1 hour become non-magical. The constant movement of the caltrops make them impossible to hide, however, it also means that moving at half speed does not let a creature avoid having to make the save. If caltrops are lost or left behind they can be replaced by filling the bag with 20 non-magical caltrops and leaving them in the bag for 8 hours.
Acid Vial
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 acid damage.
Elemental vial As with acid Vial, but dealing fire, frost, poison, lightning, or thunder damage.
Clinging acid As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 3d6 acid damage. At the end of each of the creatures' turns it takes a number of D6s of acid damage one less than the previous instance. (If it took 3d6 last time it takes 2d6 this time.) A creature may take the use an object action to reduce the next instance of this damage on themselves or an ally within 5 ft by 1d6. A creature proficient with alchemy tools may use the tools as part of the use an object action to reduce the next instance of damage damage by 2d6 instead.
Dragon's Bile [Flavor text] As with clinging acid but the starting damage is 5d6, creatures have disadvantage on saving throws to maintain concentration and while taking the ongoing damage, and the action now requires a DC 15 dexterity check to succeed. (alchemy tool proficiency applies)
Holy water
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this flask onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw it up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged attack against a target creature, treating the holy water as an improvised weapon. If the target is a fiend or undead, it takes 2d6 radiant damage.
Sacred oil As an action you can apply this oil to a melee or ranged weapon. For 1 minute, attacks made with the weapon are considered magical and deal an additional 1d6 radiant damage to fiends or undead. This oil smells abhorrent to fiends. Once opened, and for one hour after it is applied to a weapon, fiends within 100 feet of the open vial or weapon will not suffer the surprised condition.
Tears of the Saints/Blood of the Martyrs [Flavor text] As an action, you speak a command phrase (usually a prayer of censure) and throw the reliquary up to 30 feet away from you. The souls of the wronged cry out for vengeance and each undead (for tears) or Fiend (for blood) within 30 feet of the target location, that can see or hear, takes 2d6 radiant damage and must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw. If the creature fails its saving throw, and its CR is 1 or less it is destroyed (undead) or banished to its home plane (fiends). A creature above CR 1 that fails it's save is turned for 1 minute or until it takes any damage.
A turned creature must spend its turns trying to move as far away from the target location as it can, and it can't willingly move to a space within 30 feet of it. The creature also can't take reactions. For its action, it can use only the Dash action or try to escape from an effect that prevents it from moving. If there's nowhere to move, the creature can use the Dodge action.
Healing potion You regain 2d4+2 hit points when you drink this potion. Drinking or administering a potion takes an action.
Bloodmush! "For people who don't have enough blood in them, so that they can have more blood in them!" -NoRefunds, wandering kobold trader
"Usually made by those who are not serviced by the guilds and do not have the necessary expertise or available raw materials to make healing potions, satchets of this dark red paste are far more likely to be found in orc, goblinoid, and kobold tribes than civilized areas." Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 7
You regain 1d4+1 hit points when you eat this paste or apply it directly to a wound. This takes an action.
Salve "There has been a great deal of arguments regarding Salve. Some claim it is merely another means of applying a healing potion, but be wary. Salve is not regulated by the guild, so there are no laws protecting its quality. Use at your own risk." -Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 2
As an action, one dose of Salve can be swallowed or applied to the skin. The creature that receives it gains benefits according to the following list.
Fake Salve: pain is relieved, but receive no actual benefits.
Fowl Salve: gain 2d4+2 temporary HP. At the end of 1 minute take 2d4 poison damage and lose any remaining temporary HP.
Mediocre salve: regain 1 HP and 2d4 temp HP. At the end of 1 minute if any temp HP from this salve remains, lose the temp HP and regain the same amount of HP.
Quality salve: regain 2d4+2 HP.
Exquisite salve: regain 2d8 + 2 hit points, cease to be poisoned, and becured of up to one non-magical disease.
Unidentified salve: can be identified by using it, or by a creature proficient in alchemist's supplies making a successful DC 15 Intelligence (Alchemist's tools) check as part of a short rest. When identified, roll a D20 and compare it to the following table. 1 fake Salve 2-3 fowl Salve 4-10 mediocre salve 11-19 quality Salve 20 exquisite Salve
DM note: the range of Salve quality in the setting is worse than indicated by the table. The fact that most sellers will not intentionally sell fake or fowl Salve to the heavily armed, notoriously violent adventurers skews the table in their favor.
submitted by pauseglitched to DnD [link] [comments]
With alchemy being a major theme, I brainstormed a bunch of things for more advanced versions of adventuring gear for the guilds or criminals to sell, or the party to loot off their corpses. Elemental resistance and vulnerabilities will play a part in the homebrew enemies.
I am looking for feedback on
•how much to charge for the items. •Any recommendations on changes to damage or DCs. •wording changes for clarity.
(Some Ideas are more thought out than others)
Here we go.
Alchemist's Fire (flask)
This sticky, adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action you can throw this flask up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 1d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 10 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames.
War Fire (flask)
This alchemically enhanced adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. A vial held in hand may be thrown up to 20 ft. replacing an attack made as part of the attack action on your turn shattering on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 12 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames. Hit or miss, the liquid ignites a square 15 ft on a side of the ground centered on the target. Creatures who enter an ignited area for the first time on a turn or start their turn there take 2d4 fire damage. A square 5 foot section of ignited area can be extinguished as an action.
Dragons breath (Canister) This volatile concoction is illegal to carry into most cities. Typically stored in a magically reinforced container, militaries and criminal master alchemists are the only source, neither of which are likely to give up their secrets. As an action you can speak the command word and throw the canister up to 30 ft where it shatters in a conflagration. Everyone in a 15 ft radius must make a DC 16 Dex save taking 6d4 fire damage on a failure and are ignited. Objects not worn or carried automatically fail this save. Ignited creatures take 6d4 fire damage at the start of each of their turns. A creature may use an action to attempt to put out the fire on themselves or others with a DC 16 Dexterity Check. Creatures who succeed on their saving throw take half damage and are not ignited.
caltrops As an action, you can spread a single bag of caltrops to cover a 5-foot-square area. Any creature that enters the area must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or stop moving and take 1 piercing damage. Until the creature regains at least 1 hit point, its walking speed is reduced by 10 feet. A creature moving through the area at half speed doesn't need to make the saving throw.
Barbed Caltrops
As with caltrops, but the damage is 1d4 piercing and the caltrops stick to those who fail their saving throw dealing 1 point of piercing damage for every 5 feet of movement spent. The caltrops can be removed as an action and they must be removed before recovering HP in order to regain movement speed.
Footbane caltrop bag
This magic bag contains 20 caltrops. When the command word is spoken, the caltops spring out of the bag to a location within 15 ft of the caster and spread themselves out over a 10-ft square area. They continue to move around that area until another command word is spoken to return them to the bag, an hour passes, or five creatures fail their saving throw against them as they become too spread out to be effective. Any caltrops not returned to the bag within 1 hour become non-magical. The constant movement of the caltrops make them impossible to hide, however, it also means that moving at half speed does not let a creature avoid having to make the save. If caltrops are lost or left behind they can be replaced by filling the bag with 20 non-magical caltrops and leaving them in the bag for 8 hours.
Acid Vial
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 acid damage.
Elemental vial As with acid Vial, but dealing fire, frost, poison, lightning, or thunder damage.
Clinging acid As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 3d6 acid damage. At the end of each of the creatures' turns it takes a number of D6s of acid damage one less than the previous instance. (If it took 3d6 last time it takes 2d6 this time.) A creature may take the use an object action to reduce the next instance of this damage on themselves or an ally within 5 ft by 1d6. A creature proficient with alchemy tools may use the tools as part of the use an object action to reduce the next instance of damage damage by 2d6 instead.
Dragon's Bile [Flavor text] As with clinging acid but the starting damage is 5d6, creatures have disadvantage on saving throws to maintain concentration and while taking the ongoing damage, and the action now requires a DC 15 dexterity check to succeed. (alchemy tool proficiency applies)
Holy water
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this flask onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw it up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged attack against a target creature, treating the holy water as an improvised weapon. If the target is a fiend or undead, it takes 2d6 radiant damage.
Sacred oil As an action you can apply this oil to a melee or ranged weapon. For 1 minute, attacks made with the weapon are considered magical and deal an additional 1d6 radiant damage to fiends or undead. This oil smells abhorrent to fiends. Once opened, and for one hour after it is applied to a weapon, fiends within 100 feet of the open vial or weapon will not suffer the surprised condition.
Tears of the Saints/Blood of the Martyrs [Flavor text] As an action, you speak a command phrase (usually a prayer of censure) and throw the reliquary up to 30 feet away from you. The souls of the wronged cry out for vengeance and each undead (for tears) or Fiend (for blood) within 30 feet of the target location, that can see or hear, takes 2d6 radiant damage and must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw. If the creature fails its saving throw, and its CR is 1 or less it is destroyed (undead) or banished to its home plane (fiends). A creature above CR 1 that fails it's save is turned for 1 minute or until it takes any damage.
A turned creature must spend its turns trying to move as far away from the target location as it can, and it can't willingly move to a space within 30 feet of it. The creature also can't take reactions. For its action, it can use only the Dash action or try to escape from an effect that prevents it from moving. If there's nowhere to move, the creature can use the Dodge action.
Healing potion You regain 2d4+2 hit points when you drink this potion. Drinking or administering a potion takes an action.
Bloodmush! "For people who don't have enough blood in them, so that they can have more blood in them!" -NoRefunds, wandering kobold trader
"Usually made by those who are not serviced by the guilds and do not have the necessary expertise or available raw materials to make healing potions, satchets of this dark red paste are far more likely to be found in orc, goblinoid, and kobold tribes than civilized areas." Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 7
You regain 1d4+1 hit points when you eat this paste or apply it directly to a wound. This takes an action.
Salve "There has been a great deal of arguments regarding Salve. Some claim it is merely another means of applying a healing potion, but be wary. Salve is not regulated by the guild, so there are no laws protecting its quality. Use at your own risk." -Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 2
As an action, one dose of Salve can be swallowed or applied to the skin. The creature that receives it gains benefits according to the following list.
Fake Salve: pain is relieved, but receive no actual benefits.
Fowl Salve: gain 2d4+2 temporary HP. At the end of 1 minute take 2d4 poison damage and lose any remaining temporary HP.
Mediocre salve: regain 1 HP and 2d4 temp HP. At the end of 1 minute if any temp HP from this salve remains, lose the temp HP and regain the same amount of HP.
Quality salve: regain 2d4+2 HP.
Exquisite salve: regain 2d8 + 2 hit points, cease to be poisoned, and becured of up to one non-magical disease.
Unidentified salve: can be identified by using it, or by a creature proficient in alchemist's supplies making a successful DC 15 Intelligence (Alchemist's tools) check as part of a short rest. When identified, roll a D20 and compare it to the following table. 1 fake Salve 2-3 fowl Salve 4-10 mediocre salve 11-19 quality Salve 20 exquisite Salve
DM note: the range of Salve quality in the setting is worse than indicated by the table. The fact that most sellers will not intentionally sell fake or fowl Salve to the heavily armed, notoriously violent adventurers skews the table in their favor.
2024.06.01 15:24 LordChozo Chronicles of a Prolific Gamer - May 2024
May got out to a lightning start for me, continuing the torrid April pace for a while before cooling off a bit in the back end of the month. That's partially by design, as I jumped into a pair of longer games (one enormously so) which I won't finish until deeper into June, but I've also noticed I'm slowly bleeding gaming time from my evenings. As my kids get incrementally older and the days grow incrementally longer entering summer, an hour that would previously be my own is now deferred to them, and that adds up over the course of an entire month.
Not that I'd trade my kids, you understand.
(Games are presented in chronological completion order; the numerical indicator represents the YTD count.)
#27 - Contra: Hard Corps - GEN - 8/10 (Great)
It's been fascinating to watch the Contra series evolve over time, and Hard Corps on the Sega Genesis is no different. With no Mode 7 (the SNES' proprietary isometric viewpoint mode) available on the system, necessarily some of the top down content from Contra III would need to be altered or removed, and that begged the question of what would take its place: after all, a return to basic sidescrolling action might feel like a big step down, and we can't have that. So I think I expected Hard Corps to throw in a new wrinkle to keep the formula a bit more fresh. What I did not expect was for it to make three enormous changes.
For one, Hard Corps has four different characters to choose from, and each is actually unique. It's not just the look - where else can you play a cybernetic wolfman? - but they've got different sizes and hurtboxes as well. And while each starts with the same basic low power machine gun, each has a completely different loadout of possible weapon upgrades, ensuring that all four play very differently from one another outside of the fundamentals of movement. To that end, the two weapon toggle of Contra III is expanded in Hard Corps, allowing you to hold all four of your upgraded weapons simultaneously and switch between them at will, which adds a new layer of depth and strategy to the action. Building upon this notion of enhanced player choice even further, the second big change is that the game has branching paths. After the first stage you make a choice that determines where you head for the second level, and then later on you make another choice that creates further divergence, such that the game has four main endings (and a secret fifth!), all with their own dedicated unique stages. It's for that reason possibly the most replayable game so far in the franchise; I myself did a run through of each ending using a different character per run to get a feel for them all.
This leads to the final big change, which is the only one I don't regard a resounding success: the entire game is basically a boss rush. Let's zero in on the main path that I followed on my primary playthrough and add up all mini-bosses and full boss phases. What number might you expect that to come out as? A dozen or so? Well, sorry about your naiveté, but the answer is 43: it's bosses all the way down. This is a MUCH more mentally taxing load than previous Contra games where you could kind of skate through the non-boss sections with good fundamentals. And that's just one of four possible paths through the game! It's absurd! It's also way more fun than it sounds it would be from the description, but I've heard people say Hard Corps is the toughest Contra game and now I know why. I do miss just running and gunning and dropping dudes in one hit before a thrilling finale; it's hard to be properly wowed by a boss fight when that's all you ever see. But nevertheless Contra: Hard Corps is lives up to the legacy of greatness the franchise had up until that point established...just steel yourself mentally for the extensive memorization it requires of you.
#28 - Ancient Enemy - PC - 5.5/10 (Semi-Competent)
Solitaire is one of those games that nobody really wants to play. It’s a game of convenience and opportunity, only attractive in the absence of something better, which is to say “nearly anything else at all.” Slightly more entertaining are variations on the form, such as Mahjong Solitaire or Free Cell, where certain cards/tiles are locked until the ones above them have been cleared away. These are still just time wasting games for people with nothing else to do, but when presented as a discrete set of challenges there’s a bit more appeal. Do you know they say that every one of the 32,000 numbered games of FreeCell on classic Windows operating systems was supposedly beatable? Did you know a very bored teenage me once decided to see if I could prove it by playing and beating every single unique game of FreeCell in order? I got into the low 30s or so before I questioned what the hell I was doing with my life and wisely moved on.
Well, Ancient Enemy is a game for people with nothing better to do, masquerading as a game that would qualify as "something better to do." It’s an RPG, I guess, but the gameplay revolves entirely around a solitaire variant. You have a deck of “stock cards” numbered 0-9 and start each encounter (“hand”) by flipping the top one. Then on the board you have to collect a card with a number adjacent to the one you’re displaying - 0 serving as a bridge between 1 and 9. Getting a card reveals any card trapped immediately below it and enables that card to be collected as well. If you can’t make a move, you can flip a new stock card over to get a random new number until your deck runs out. Some levels are simple puzzles in this vein, trying to clear all the cards from the board. Most encounters though are battles, where you do the exact same thing, except the color of the card you collect enables you to attack, defend, or cast a spell. So it’s turn-based combat, except each turn is you basically clearing as many cards as you can from the board to juice up your attack or bolster your defense, and that’s about it.
Now, at first, this is actually way more fun than I’m making it sound. I mean, I like solitaire type games for what they are, and the extra mechanics definitely do enrich the experience. You get consumable wild cards, battle boards have bonus cards with instant benefits, you get powers that manipulate the board, new types of cards appear, all good stuff. The problem is that the game completely runs out of these new ideas about a quarter of the way through, at which point you’re just going through the motions until the end, accompanied by a complete nothing of a story that I was confident I had figured out, only to find that the ending was somehow worse than the cliche I’d been anticipating. Thus, the game sadly settled into that exact same niche of games it was supposed to improve upon and supplant. Which I suppose is ok…if you’ve got nothing better to do.
#29 - Snakebird Primer - PC - 7/10 (Good)
I follow a general rule of always playing game franchises in order, but Snakebird Primer is a unique case wherein the developers of the original Snakebird decided that it was too off-putting to new players, and so they made a sequel that they explicitly wanted newcomers to play first. A "primer" in truth to ease you into the overall Snakebird challenge, as it were. So when I decided to check out Snakebird, I thought all right: just this once I'll do it your way.
So how does Snakebird Primer shake out? Well...it's fine. It's a jaunty kind of puzzle game, with bright colors, friendly art and music, and general good vibes. In each stage you control one or more segmented "snakebirds" and have to get them all to the rainbow portal to complete the level. Sometimes you need to eat fruit to open the portal as well, but that's the entire game in a nutshell. It's a very simple concept, complicated only by the fact that a snakebird that has no body segments touching the ground will fall, and so each stage is a kind of pathing challenge, tasking you to figure out the right order of operations to reach the end. The levels are very well paced and designed if you just go in order: there aren't any hand-holdy tutorials, but new ideas are introduced organically at various intervals, and the challenge always feels reasonable, especially because you can undo any number of moves at will, like stepping through code to find an error.
There is, however, a significant difficulty spike for the last couple levels, which is pretty jarring. And when you add to that the fact that the designer of Baba Is You said he built a lot of his design philosophy around the original Snakebird, I've got to admit I'm a lot less keen on checking that one out. It's in that same realm of "enter these six dozen commands in precisely the right order" that made Baba Is You eventually feel more tedious and frustrating to me than anything else, so I think for now I'm happy to have just played the "lite" version instead.
#30 - It Takes Two - PS4 - 8.5/10 (Excellent)
When trying to write down a genre for It Takes Two in my tracking spreadsheet, I wanted to put "Yes". It's as though the developers wanted to make a bunch of different kinds of games and, rather than accepting any limitations (self-imposed or otherwise), they just found a way to do it all at once. It Takes Two is a platformer. It's a third-person shooter. It's a puzzle game. It's a rhythm game. It's a racing game. It's a stealth game. It's a boss battling action adventure. It's a minigame collection. It's a romantic comedy. It's an exploration playground. One minute you're flying around on a jetpack chucking Captain America shields at devils and the next you're literally playing a timed game of chess. None of the things that It Takes Two does would be characterized as masterpiece forms of their respective genres, but that's not the point. There's sufficient depth and development of each mechanic that it never feels like a lazy tack-on to check a box - and that in itself is beyond impressive - but it's the sheer number of different ideas tossed into this package that make it truly special.
It's hard for me to even review this game, frankly. Part of that is because I feel a strong bias towards the game for the audaciousness of what it tries to achieve, and for the way it inspires me to keep stretching myself in new ways however I can. But it's also hard because I don't remember the whole thing. It Takes Two is both fresh in memory, having just finished it, and yet far away and mingled in my mind with similar bits of similar other adventures (Tearaway foremost among them). Why is that? Well, I first booted up It Takes Two in May of 2022 as a co-op experience to share with my wife - quite fitting, as it turns out, given the nature of the game's plot of trying to reconcile an embattled couple. We'd only play in smaller bursts of 1-2 hours at a time, but every session we played it felt like we were playing a new, different game. Music to my ears, but much harder on my gaming-challenged wife, who took longer to adjust to each mechanical shift. Pretty soon we were playing less and less often, even as I was playing a game like Tearaway early on that occupied some similar design space in my head. Soon we stopped playing at all. When I tried to suggest resuming this title over the past year, I was repeatedly rebuffed until finally a month ago I managed to wear her down enough that we picked it up again for about an hour a week. So it is that the first half of the game is fuzzy and nebulous to me, even as I recall that I loved playing, whereas the back half is much fresher, and it's nigh impossible for me to separate my wife's frequent frustrations from my own experience - especially since I've been playing on a controller experiencing heavy stick drift, so managing the camera was a nightmare through no fault of the game's.
All that said, how could I not recommend this game? It's best played with two experienced gamers, but the story only fully lands if you play as a couple, so there's a bit of potential for a disconnect there, as I experienced. It's not a perfect game. But it is an incredibly ambitious one that had me routinely grinning from ear to ear, despite the grumblings on the couch next to me. When I pointed out to my wife that we finished the game in May 2024, almost to the day when we started back in '22, she said "They should've called it It Takes Two Years." We're both glad it's over, but I think for very different reasons.
#31 - Rogue Legacy 2 - PS5 - 7/10 (Good)
Some game sequels try to really shake things up and try something different from the one before. Final Fantasy is probably the biggest and most obvious example of this, but you can also see it in virtually every Super Mario Bros. game, in the Castlevania series, and the list goes on extensively from there. On the other hand, some game sequels treat their predecessors like rough drafts to be perfected. With these, the idea is to take the vision for the previous game, use the increase in time/budget/developer expertise now available, and try to execute on it more completely than was possible before. When a game like this is successful, there becomes almost zero reason to ever play the original game (other than possibly its story), because the new version has replaced it entirely as the definitive experience.
Rogue Legacy 2 is one of these latter types of games. Everything from the first game is pretty much still there (bosses excepted): enemies, basic combat and room design, character classes, traits, progression, etc. It immediately feels like "Hey, I've played this before," yet a cursory look reveals a huge wealth of additional content over the first game. Classes are better differentiated, you get new weapons, more spells, special abilities, new items, new upgrades, new explorable regions, new mechanics, new new new. It truly is a total replacement for Rogue Legacy 1 in this regard, a "go ahead and uninstall that thing forever because we've got it all right here and then some" type of mission statement. I was amazed at how I kept finding ever more avenues of progression and discovery, even many hours into the game, In fact, I never did manage to play as every class, and each class has a variant form as well, most of which I didn't even unlock. It's overflowing with stuff.
And I think that's why it didn't work quite as well for me as the first game: it's all too much. Now there are four different types of currency, all acquired in different ways, all for different upgrade paths. You're always competing with yourself on what to level up between runs because there are too many choices and all of them seem pretty good, but as you're finding your early groove the game throws a big wrench in there: labor costs. While each upgrade has a set gold cost that increases as you level it up, early on the game adds a universal tax mechanic to the entire upgrade tree, making it increasingly prohibitive to spend your money on stuff, and it feels awful. Rogue Legacy 1 had a similar system where each upgrade cost 10g more than the previous, but in the sequel these escalate far more rapidly, to the point where you'll complete a huge run and still feel like you can only afford one or two upgrades that barely move the needle. It's a pure inflationary grinding system meant to pad playtime, and I'm not about that. I played RL1 through multiple New Game + levels, but I was thrilled to beat RL2's final boss and move on because the economy is so frustrating. Other than that though, it's got quite a lot going for it.
#32 - Undertale - PS4 - 7/10 (Good)
When is some information too much information? Undertale is notorious for its rabid fan community insisting that there is only one "right" way to play the game, and so if you've ever heard of Undertale there's a good chance you already know what that preferred method is: pacifism. Undertale takes a unique approach to the JRPG in two primary ways: first, that defending against enemy attacks is an active system pretty much akin to dodging in a bullet hell game, and second that you almost never actually need to choose the "Fight" command from the battle menu in order to succeed in an encounter. The argument from the community is that you must play in this fully pacifist manner, largely because of a design decision that thoroughly punishes players who do not, only revealed after the game's conclusion. Thus, these players are "helping" curious newcomers by saving them from falling victim to a fairly vindictive design choice that would create a lot of frustration.
The problem with that approach is that Undertale makes it abundantly clear from the outset that you have the option for these alternative combat approaches, trains you on how to use them, and then gives you a positive feedback loop for choosing that direction with your gameplay. Which means the discourse surrounding this game effectively undermines not only the game's own ability to surprise and educate you, but also the authorial intent of that same design decision, which in context is a conscious player decision to go against the grain and suffer the possible consequences of doing so. In short, I wish I'd never heard of Undertale before I played it, as I'm sure I would've had a much better time.
As it stands, Undertale is still a highly creative take on the genre that, despite an aesthetic I didn't care for and writing that leaned a bit too hard at times into "lol I'm so random" territory for my tastes, still managed to get me invested with some of its characters and even make me laugh aloud at times. I was particularly impressed with that aforementioned approach to combat, as each enemy introduced unique hazards to avoid, so fighting a new monster was far more exciting here than in a standard turn-based RPG where the only meaningful question is "How much damage did this whatever move do to me?" So for those reasons I applaud Undertale. Even still, there's a lot of walking back and forth with no major purpose beyond "it was decided the game should be a little bit inconvenient here," adding some unnecessary tedium to the mix. In short, Undertale's a generally good time, but if you want it to be even better, just pretend you haven't read anything I just said.
#33 - Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales - PS5 - 7.5/10 (Solid)
2018 was a big year for Miles Morales. In the fall he showed up in the PS4 title Marvel's Spider-Man as a major supporting character, and by the end of the year he was stunning cinema audiences in the fantastic Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as the primary protagonist. It's no surprise then that by 2020, with his brand so hot, Sony and Insomniac Games would cash in with a follow-up title to the hit PS4 game with Miles front and center. And for the most part, the game is what you'd expect it to be from that basic pitch: more of the same from 2018, only focusing on Miles' family, his new home of Harlem and its people, and his path to becoming a fully fledged hero in his own right. That's all fine, but here's the problem: all of it has been done better before, and recently to boot. Miles' story of personal growth and family drama was handled better in the Spider-Verse series, even though MSM:MM wisely walks chooses to walk some different beats along the way. "Superhero of Harlem" was done masterfully by Netflix with the Luke Cage series (the first season, at least) back in 2016, and MSM:MM doesn't even try to address any issues beyond the most surface level. And the "more of the same" gameplay?
Well, admittedly that's still pretty good. Web swinging is as fun as ever to the point that there's an XP challenge to web swing at high speed for a full cumulative hour of real time and I caught myself thinking, "Hmm, maybe..." There are fast travel points that unlock relatively early on, but the joy of traversal feels like the main point of the game, so why would you bother? Miles also gets some new Spidey moves related to his bio-electric powers, and these are really fun and impactful to pull off, such that "more of the same" isn't in this case a damning phrase. And yet, it's also distinctly not "more, but better." In order to emphasize your new powers, the goons you fight (now including women for the first time I can recall ever seeing in a superhero game like this) have upgraded their own abilities as well, which means the simple pleasure of chaining big combos is a bit diminished. Maybe this enemy just blocks all your basic attacks and stops you cold. Maybe this one turns the tables to dodge and counter you. Or maybe you're just constantly surrounded by a flood of dudes with guns and rocket launchers and you feel like you never get a chance to press "punch" without being thoroughly punished.
Now add to that the game's relatively brief length and general lack of meaningful activities compared to its predecessor, as well as its truly awful villains and the ho-hum plot that they service, and you've got a title that's decidedly a step back from what came before. Of course, what came before was excellent, so even a step back still lands you in territory that's quite fun to play around with. My 6-year-old summed it up best when he came downstairs to ask me a question one day and caught me playing: "Whoa...how are you Spider-Man?!" Which is to say that Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales is a game that really makes you feel like a wannabe Spider-Man who hasn't gotten it all figured out just yet. And I guess that's all right.
Coming in June:
submitted by LordChozo to patientgamers [link] [comments]
Not that I'd trade my kids, you understand.
(Games are presented in chronological completion order; the numerical indicator represents the YTD count.)
#27 - Contra: Hard Corps - GEN - 8/10 (Great)
It's been fascinating to watch the Contra series evolve over time, and Hard Corps on the Sega Genesis is no different. With no Mode 7 (the SNES' proprietary isometric viewpoint mode) available on the system, necessarily some of the top down content from Contra III would need to be altered or removed, and that begged the question of what would take its place: after all, a return to basic sidescrolling action might feel like a big step down, and we can't have that. So I think I expected Hard Corps to throw in a new wrinkle to keep the formula a bit more fresh. What I did not expect was for it to make three enormous changes.
For one, Hard Corps has four different characters to choose from, and each is actually unique. It's not just the look - where else can you play a cybernetic wolfman? - but they've got different sizes and hurtboxes as well. And while each starts with the same basic low power machine gun, each has a completely different loadout of possible weapon upgrades, ensuring that all four play very differently from one another outside of the fundamentals of movement. To that end, the two weapon toggle of Contra III is expanded in Hard Corps, allowing you to hold all four of your upgraded weapons simultaneously and switch between them at will, which adds a new layer of depth and strategy to the action. Building upon this notion of enhanced player choice even further, the second big change is that the game has branching paths. After the first stage you make a choice that determines where you head for the second level, and then later on you make another choice that creates further divergence, such that the game has four main endings (and a secret fifth!), all with their own dedicated unique stages. It's for that reason possibly the most replayable game so far in the franchise; I myself did a run through of each ending using a different character per run to get a feel for them all.
This leads to the final big change, which is the only one I don't regard a resounding success: the entire game is basically a boss rush. Let's zero in on the main path that I followed on my primary playthrough and add up all mini-bosses and full boss phases. What number might you expect that to come out as? A dozen or so? Well, sorry about your naiveté, but the answer is 43: it's bosses all the way down. This is a MUCH more mentally taxing load than previous Contra games where you could kind of skate through the non-boss sections with good fundamentals. And that's just one of four possible paths through the game! It's absurd! It's also way more fun than it sounds it would be from the description, but I've heard people say Hard Corps is the toughest Contra game and now I know why. I do miss just running and gunning and dropping dudes in one hit before a thrilling finale; it's hard to be properly wowed by a boss fight when that's all you ever see. But nevertheless Contra: Hard Corps is lives up to the legacy of greatness the franchise had up until that point established...just steel yourself mentally for the extensive memorization it requires of you.
#28 - Ancient Enemy - PC - 5.5/10 (Semi-Competent)
Solitaire is one of those games that nobody really wants to play. It’s a game of convenience and opportunity, only attractive in the absence of something better, which is to say “nearly anything else at all.” Slightly more entertaining are variations on the form, such as Mahjong Solitaire or Free Cell, where certain cards/tiles are locked until the ones above them have been cleared away. These are still just time wasting games for people with nothing else to do, but when presented as a discrete set of challenges there’s a bit more appeal. Do you know they say that every one of the 32,000 numbered games of FreeCell on classic Windows operating systems was supposedly beatable? Did you know a very bored teenage me once decided to see if I could prove it by playing and beating every single unique game of FreeCell in order? I got into the low 30s or so before I questioned what the hell I was doing with my life and wisely moved on.
Well, Ancient Enemy is a game for people with nothing better to do, masquerading as a game that would qualify as "something better to do." It’s an RPG, I guess, but the gameplay revolves entirely around a solitaire variant. You have a deck of “stock cards” numbered 0-9 and start each encounter (“hand”) by flipping the top one. Then on the board you have to collect a card with a number adjacent to the one you’re displaying - 0 serving as a bridge between 1 and 9. Getting a card reveals any card trapped immediately below it and enables that card to be collected as well. If you can’t make a move, you can flip a new stock card over to get a random new number until your deck runs out. Some levels are simple puzzles in this vein, trying to clear all the cards from the board. Most encounters though are battles, where you do the exact same thing, except the color of the card you collect enables you to attack, defend, or cast a spell. So it’s turn-based combat, except each turn is you basically clearing as many cards as you can from the board to juice up your attack or bolster your defense, and that’s about it.
Now, at first, this is actually way more fun than I’m making it sound. I mean, I like solitaire type games for what they are, and the extra mechanics definitely do enrich the experience. You get consumable wild cards, battle boards have bonus cards with instant benefits, you get powers that manipulate the board, new types of cards appear, all good stuff. The problem is that the game completely runs out of these new ideas about a quarter of the way through, at which point you’re just going through the motions until the end, accompanied by a complete nothing of a story that I was confident I had figured out, only to find that the ending was somehow worse than the cliche I’d been anticipating. Thus, the game sadly settled into that exact same niche of games it was supposed to improve upon and supplant. Which I suppose is ok…if you’ve got nothing better to do.
#29 - Snakebird Primer - PC - 7/10 (Good)
I follow a general rule of always playing game franchises in order, but Snakebird Primer is a unique case wherein the developers of the original Snakebird decided that it was too off-putting to new players, and so they made a sequel that they explicitly wanted newcomers to play first. A "primer" in truth to ease you into the overall Snakebird challenge, as it were. So when I decided to check out Snakebird, I thought all right: just this once I'll do it your way.
So how does Snakebird Primer shake out? Well...it's fine. It's a jaunty kind of puzzle game, with bright colors, friendly art and music, and general good vibes. In each stage you control one or more segmented "snakebirds" and have to get them all to the rainbow portal to complete the level. Sometimes you need to eat fruit to open the portal as well, but that's the entire game in a nutshell. It's a very simple concept, complicated only by the fact that a snakebird that has no body segments touching the ground will fall, and so each stage is a kind of pathing challenge, tasking you to figure out the right order of operations to reach the end. The levels are very well paced and designed if you just go in order: there aren't any hand-holdy tutorials, but new ideas are introduced organically at various intervals, and the challenge always feels reasonable, especially because you can undo any number of moves at will, like stepping through code to find an error.
There is, however, a significant difficulty spike for the last couple levels, which is pretty jarring. And when you add to that the fact that the designer of Baba Is You said he built a lot of his design philosophy around the original Snakebird, I've got to admit I'm a lot less keen on checking that one out. It's in that same realm of "enter these six dozen commands in precisely the right order" that made Baba Is You eventually feel more tedious and frustrating to me than anything else, so I think for now I'm happy to have just played the "lite" version instead.
#30 - It Takes Two - PS4 - 8.5/10 (Excellent)
When trying to write down a genre for It Takes Two in my tracking spreadsheet, I wanted to put "Yes". It's as though the developers wanted to make a bunch of different kinds of games and, rather than accepting any limitations (self-imposed or otherwise), they just found a way to do it all at once. It Takes Two is a platformer. It's a third-person shooter. It's a puzzle game. It's a rhythm game. It's a racing game. It's a stealth game. It's a boss battling action adventure. It's a minigame collection. It's a romantic comedy. It's an exploration playground. One minute you're flying around on a jetpack chucking Captain America shields at devils and the next you're literally playing a timed game of chess. None of the things that It Takes Two does would be characterized as masterpiece forms of their respective genres, but that's not the point. There's sufficient depth and development of each mechanic that it never feels like a lazy tack-on to check a box - and that in itself is beyond impressive - but it's the sheer number of different ideas tossed into this package that make it truly special.
It's hard for me to even review this game, frankly. Part of that is because I feel a strong bias towards the game for the audaciousness of what it tries to achieve, and for the way it inspires me to keep stretching myself in new ways however I can. But it's also hard because I don't remember the whole thing. It Takes Two is both fresh in memory, having just finished it, and yet far away and mingled in my mind with similar bits of similar other adventures (Tearaway foremost among them). Why is that? Well, I first booted up It Takes Two in May of 2022 as a co-op experience to share with my wife - quite fitting, as it turns out, given the nature of the game's plot of trying to reconcile an embattled couple. We'd only play in smaller bursts of 1-2 hours at a time, but every session we played it felt like we were playing a new, different game. Music to my ears, but much harder on my gaming-challenged wife, who took longer to adjust to each mechanical shift. Pretty soon we were playing less and less often, even as I was playing a game like Tearaway early on that occupied some similar design space in my head. Soon we stopped playing at all. When I tried to suggest resuming this title over the past year, I was repeatedly rebuffed until finally a month ago I managed to wear her down enough that we picked it up again for about an hour a week. So it is that the first half of the game is fuzzy and nebulous to me, even as I recall that I loved playing, whereas the back half is much fresher, and it's nigh impossible for me to separate my wife's frequent frustrations from my own experience - especially since I've been playing on a controller experiencing heavy stick drift, so managing the camera was a nightmare through no fault of the game's.
All that said, how could I not recommend this game? It's best played with two experienced gamers, but the story only fully lands if you play as a couple, so there's a bit of potential for a disconnect there, as I experienced. It's not a perfect game. But it is an incredibly ambitious one that had me routinely grinning from ear to ear, despite the grumblings on the couch next to me. When I pointed out to my wife that we finished the game in May 2024, almost to the day when we started back in '22, she said "They should've called it It Takes Two Years." We're both glad it's over, but I think for very different reasons.
#31 - Rogue Legacy 2 - PS5 - 7/10 (Good)
Some game sequels try to really shake things up and try something different from the one before. Final Fantasy is probably the biggest and most obvious example of this, but you can also see it in virtually every Super Mario Bros. game, in the Castlevania series, and the list goes on extensively from there. On the other hand, some game sequels treat their predecessors like rough drafts to be perfected. With these, the idea is to take the vision for the previous game, use the increase in time/budget/developer expertise now available, and try to execute on it more completely than was possible before. When a game like this is successful, there becomes almost zero reason to ever play the original game (other than possibly its story), because the new version has replaced it entirely as the definitive experience.
Rogue Legacy 2 is one of these latter types of games. Everything from the first game is pretty much still there (bosses excepted): enemies, basic combat and room design, character classes, traits, progression, etc. It immediately feels like "Hey, I've played this before," yet a cursory look reveals a huge wealth of additional content over the first game. Classes are better differentiated, you get new weapons, more spells, special abilities, new items, new upgrades, new explorable regions, new mechanics, new new new. It truly is a total replacement for Rogue Legacy 1 in this regard, a "go ahead and uninstall that thing forever because we've got it all right here and then some" type of mission statement. I was amazed at how I kept finding ever more avenues of progression and discovery, even many hours into the game, In fact, I never did manage to play as every class, and each class has a variant form as well, most of which I didn't even unlock. It's overflowing with stuff.
And I think that's why it didn't work quite as well for me as the first game: it's all too much. Now there are four different types of currency, all acquired in different ways, all for different upgrade paths. You're always competing with yourself on what to level up between runs because there are too many choices and all of them seem pretty good, but as you're finding your early groove the game throws a big wrench in there: labor costs. While each upgrade has a set gold cost that increases as you level it up, early on the game adds a universal tax mechanic to the entire upgrade tree, making it increasingly prohibitive to spend your money on stuff, and it feels awful. Rogue Legacy 1 had a similar system where each upgrade cost 10g more than the previous, but in the sequel these escalate far more rapidly, to the point where you'll complete a huge run and still feel like you can only afford one or two upgrades that barely move the needle. It's a pure inflationary grinding system meant to pad playtime, and I'm not about that. I played RL1 through multiple New Game + levels, but I was thrilled to beat RL2's final boss and move on because the economy is so frustrating. Other than that though, it's got quite a lot going for it.
#32 - Undertale - PS4 - 7/10 (Good)
When is some information too much information? Undertale is notorious for its rabid fan community insisting that there is only one "right" way to play the game, and so if you've ever heard of Undertale there's a good chance you already know what that preferred method is: pacifism. Undertale takes a unique approach to the JRPG in two primary ways: first, that defending against enemy attacks is an active system pretty much akin to dodging in a bullet hell game, and second that you almost never actually need to choose the "Fight" command from the battle menu in order to succeed in an encounter. The argument from the community is that you must play in this fully pacifist manner, largely because of a design decision that thoroughly punishes players who do not, only revealed after the game's conclusion. Thus, these players are "helping" curious newcomers by saving them from falling victim to a fairly vindictive design choice that would create a lot of frustration.
The problem with that approach is that Undertale makes it abundantly clear from the outset that you have the option for these alternative combat approaches, trains you on how to use them, and then gives you a positive feedback loop for choosing that direction with your gameplay. Which means the discourse surrounding this game effectively undermines not only the game's own ability to surprise and educate you, but also the authorial intent of that same design decision, which in context is a conscious player decision to go against the grain and suffer the possible consequences of doing so. In short, I wish I'd never heard of Undertale before I played it, as I'm sure I would've had a much better time.
As it stands, Undertale is still a highly creative take on the genre that, despite an aesthetic I didn't care for and writing that leaned a bit too hard at times into "lol I'm so random" territory for my tastes, still managed to get me invested with some of its characters and even make me laugh aloud at times. I was particularly impressed with that aforementioned approach to combat, as each enemy introduced unique hazards to avoid, so fighting a new monster was far more exciting here than in a standard turn-based RPG where the only meaningful question is "How much damage did this whatever move do to me?" So for those reasons I applaud Undertale. Even still, there's a lot of walking back and forth with no major purpose beyond "it was decided the game should be a little bit inconvenient here," adding some unnecessary tedium to the mix. In short, Undertale's a generally good time, but if you want it to be even better, just pretend you haven't read anything I just said.
#33 - Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales - PS5 - 7.5/10 (Solid)
2018 was a big year for Miles Morales. In the fall he showed up in the PS4 title Marvel's Spider-Man as a major supporting character, and by the end of the year he was stunning cinema audiences in the fantastic Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse as the primary protagonist. It's no surprise then that by 2020, with his brand so hot, Sony and Insomniac Games would cash in with a follow-up title to the hit PS4 game with Miles front and center. And for the most part, the game is what you'd expect it to be from that basic pitch: more of the same from 2018, only focusing on Miles' family, his new home of Harlem and its people, and his path to becoming a fully fledged hero in his own right. That's all fine, but here's the problem: all of it has been done better before, and recently to boot. Miles' story of personal growth and family drama was handled better in the Spider-Verse series, even though MSM:MM wisely walks chooses to walk some different beats along the way. "Superhero of Harlem" was done masterfully by Netflix with the Luke Cage series (the first season, at least) back in 2016, and MSM:MM doesn't even try to address any issues beyond the most surface level. And the "more of the same" gameplay?
Well, admittedly that's still pretty good. Web swinging is as fun as ever to the point that there's an XP challenge to web swing at high speed for a full cumulative hour of real time and I caught myself thinking, "Hmm, maybe..." There are fast travel points that unlock relatively early on, but the joy of traversal feels like the main point of the game, so why would you bother? Miles also gets some new Spidey moves related to his bio-electric powers, and these are really fun and impactful to pull off, such that "more of the same" isn't in this case a damning phrase. And yet, it's also distinctly not "more, but better." In order to emphasize your new powers, the goons you fight (now including women for the first time I can recall ever seeing in a superhero game like this) have upgraded their own abilities as well, which means the simple pleasure of chaining big combos is a bit diminished. Maybe this enemy just blocks all your basic attacks and stops you cold. Maybe this one turns the tables to dodge and counter you. Or maybe you're just constantly surrounded by a flood of dudes with guns and rocket launchers and you feel like you never get a chance to press "punch" without being thoroughly punished.
Now add to that the game's relatively brief length and general lack of meaningful activities compared to its predecessor, as well as its truly awful villains and the ho-hum plot that they service, and you've got a title that's decidedly a step back from what came before. Of course, what came before was excellent, so even a step back still lands you in territory that's quite fun to play around with. My 6-year-old summed it up best when he came downstairs to ask me a question one day and caught me playing: "Whoa...how are you Spider-Man?!" Which is to say that Marvel's Spider-Man: Miles Morales is a game that really makes you feel like a wannabe Spider-Man who hasn't gotten it all figured out just yet. And I guess that's all right.
- I've had less time for PC gaming lately for a couple of different reasons, but I'm expecting that to be a temporary thing, and I don't think I'm in danger of failing to finish Mass Effect 3 by the end of June. I didn't realize the version of the game I had included all the DLC. Nor did I actually know what any of the DLC was. So I was quite a ways into the game and feeling great about my progress when I got suspicious that the section I was playing wasn't actually base game content. I looked it up and found that, in fact, about 90% of what I'd played to date was DLC and I'd barely actually started the base game itself. That explains why the main story was taking a while to get off the ground, at any rate.
- Speaking of getting off the ground, my journey through The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom began impatiently a few months after release, but I took an extended break from the game and have now spent pretty much all of May continuing my thorough trek through the game world. I'm well over 200 hours into the game and am only several days away from having explored the entirety of the game's map. At which point I believe I'll finally advance the main quest past its initial stage.
- In my review for Rogue Legacy 2 above I mentioned the Castlevania franchise, which I feel I can speak to as a whole given that I've finished nearly every game in the series to date. Unsurprisingly I felt most drawn to the metroidvania style games, so there was a layer of disappointment in exhausting the last of those to discover. Disappointment that will soon be temporarily eradicated when I boot up Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, produced by that same creative mind.
- And more...
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2024.06.01 15:24 pauseglitched Advanced versions of basic alchemical items.
I am starting work putting together a DnD 5e campaign for level 5 adventurers that would go up to level 11. The main hook will be Rogue (not the PC class) alchemists and performance drug dealers in conflict with the guilds of the 6 Nation's Unified Guilds and local law enforcement.
With alchemy being a major theme, I brainstormed a bunch of things for more advanced versions of adventuring gear for the guilds or criminals to sell, or the party to loot off their corpses. Elemental resistance and vulnerabilities will play a part in the homebrew enemies.
I am looking for feedback on
•how much to charge for the items. •Any recommendations on changes to damage or DCs. •wording changes for clarity.
(Some Ideas are more thought out than others)
Here we go.
Alchemist's Fire (flask)
This sticky, adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action you can throw this flask up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 1d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 10 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames.
War Fire (flask)
This alchemically enhanced adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. A vial held in hand may be thrown up to 20 ft. replacing an attack made as part of the attack action on your turn shattering on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 12 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames. Hit or miss, the liquid ignites a square 15 ft on a side of the ground centered on the target. Creatures who enter an ignited area for the first time on a turn or start their turn there take 2d4 fire damage. A square 5 foot section of ignited area can be extinguished as an action.
Dragons breath (Canister) This volatile concoction is illegal to carry into most cities. Typically stored in a magically reinforced container, militaries and criminal master alchemists are the only source, neither of which are likely to give up their secrets. As an action you can speak the command word and throw the canister up to 30 ft where it shatters in a conflagration. Everyone in a 15 ft radius must make a DC 16 Dex save taking 6d4 fire damage on a failure and are ignited. Objects not worn or carried automatically fail this save. Ignited creatures take 6d4 fire damage at the start of each of their turns. A creature may use an action to attempt to put out the fire on themselves or others with a DC 16 Dexterity Check. Creatures who succeed on their saving throw take half damage and are not ignited.
caltrops As an action, you can spread a single bag of caltrops to cover a 5-foot-square area. Any creature that enters the area must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or stop moving and take 1 piercing damage. Until the creature regains at least 1 hit point, its walking speed is reduced by 10 feet. A creature moving through the area at half speed doesn't need to make the saving throw.
Barbed Caltrops
As with caltrops, but the damage is 1d4 piercing and the caltrops stick to those who fail their saving throw dealing 1 point of piercing damage for every 5 feet of movement spent. The caltrops can be removed as an action and they must be removed before recovering HP in order to regain movement speed.
Footbane caltrop bag
This magic bag contains 20 caltrops. When the command word is spoken, the caltops spring out of the bag to a location within 15 ft of the caster and spread themselves out over a 10-ft square area. They continue to move around that area until another command word is spoken to return them to the bag, an hour passes, or five creatures fail their saving throw against them as they become too spread out to be effective. Any caltrops not returned to the bag within 1 hour become non-magical. The constant movement of the caltrops make them impossible to hide, however, it also means that moving at half speed does not let a creature avoid having to make the save. If caltrops are lost or left behind they can be replaced by filling the bag with 20 non-magical caltrops and leaving them in the bag for 8 hours.
Acid Vial
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 acid damage.
Elemental vial As with acid Vial, but dealing fire, frost, poison, lightning, or thunder damage.
Clinging acid As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 3d6 acid damage. At the end of each of the creatures' turns it takes a number of D6s of acid damage one less than the previous instance. (If it took 3d6 last time it takes 2d6 this time.) A creature may take the use an object action to reduce the next instance of this damage on themselves or an ally within 5 ft by 1d6. A creature proficient with alchemy tools may use the tools as part of the use an object action to reduce the next instance of damage damage by 2d6 instead.
Dragon's Bile [Flavor text] As with clinging acid but the starting damage is 5d6, creatures have disadvantage on saving throws to maintain concentration and while taking the ongoing damage, and the action now requires a DC 15 dexterity check to succeed. (alchemy tool proficiency applies)
Holy water
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this flask onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw it up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged attack against a target creature, treating the holy water as an improvised weapon. If the target is a fiend or undead, it takes 2d6 radiant damage.
Sacred oil As an action you can apply this oil to a melee or ranged weapon. For 1 minute, attacks made with the weapon are considered magical and deal an additional 1d6 radiant damage to fiends or undead. This oil smells abhorrent to fiends. Once opened, and for one hour after it is applied to a weapon, fiends within 100 feet of the open vial or weapon will not suffer the surprised condition.
Tears of the Saints/Blood of the Martyrs [Flavor text] As an action, you speak a command phrase (usually a prayer of censure) and throw the reliquary up to 30 feet away from you. The souls of the wronged cry out for vengeance and each undead (for tears) or Fiend (for blood) within 30 feet of the target location, that can see or hear, takes 2d6 radiant damage and must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw. If the creature fails its saving throw, and its CR is 1 or less it is destroyed (undead) or banished to its home plane (fiends). A creature above CR 1 that fails it's save is turned for 1 minute or until it takes any damage.
A turned creature must spend its turns trying to move as far away from the target location as it can, and it can't willingly move to a space within 30 feet of it. The creature also can't take reactions. For its action, it can use only the Dash action or try to escape from an effect that prevents it from moving. If there's nowhere to move, the creature can use the Dodge action.
Healing potion You regain 2d4+2 hit points when you drink this potion. Drinking or administering a potion takes an action.
Bloodmush! "For people who don't have enough blood in them, so that they can have more blood in them!" -NoRefunds, wandering kobold trader
"Usually made by those who are not serviced by the guilds and do not have the necessary expertise or available raw materials to make healing potions, satchets of this dark red paste are far more likely to be found in orc, goblinoid, and kobold tribes than civilized areas." Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 7
You regain 1d4+1 hit points when you eat this paste or apply it directly to a wound. This takes an action.
Salve "There has been a great deal of arguments regarding Salve. Some claim it is merely another means of applying a healing potion, but be wary. Salve is not regulated by the guild, so there are no laws protecting its quality. Use at your own risk." -Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 2
As an action, one dose of Salve can be swallowed or applied to the skin. The creature that receives it gains benefits according to the following list.
Fake Salve: pain is relieved, but receive no actual benefits.
Fowl Salve: gain 2d4+2 temporary HP. At the end of 1 minute take 2d4 poison damage and lose any remaining temporary HP.
Mediocre salve: regain 1 HP and 2d4 temp HP. At the end of 1 minute if any temp HP from this salve remains, lose the temp HP and regain the same amount of HP.
Quality salve: regain 2d4+2 HP.
Exquisite salve: regain 2d8 + 2 hit points, cease to be poisoned, and becured of up to one non-magical disease.
Unidentified salve: can be identified by using it, or by a creature proficient in alchemist's supplies making a successful DC 15 Intelligence (Alchemist's tools) check as part of a short rest. When identified, roll a D20 and compare it to the following table. 1 fake Salve 2-3 fowl Salve 4-10 mediocre salve 11-19 quality Salve 20 exquisite Salve
DM note: the range of Salve quality in the setting is worse than indicated by the table. The fact that most sellers will not intentionally sell fake or fowl Salve to the heavily armed, notoriously violent adventurers skews the table in their favor.
submitted by pauseglitched to DnDHomebrew [link] [comments]
With alchemy being a major theme, I brainstormed a bunch of things for more advanced versions of adventuring gear for the guilds or criminals to sell, or the party to loot off their corpses. Elemental resistance and vulnerabilities will play a part in the homebrew enemies.
I am looking for feedback on
•how much to charge for the items. •Any recommendations on changes to damage or DCs. •wording changes for clarity.
(Some Ideas are more thought out than others)
Here we go.
Alchemist's Fire (flask)
This sticky, adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action you can throw this flask up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 1d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 10 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames.
War Fire (flask)
This alchemically enhanced adhesive fluid ignites when exposed to air. A vial held in hand may be thrown up to 20 ft. replacing an attack made as part of the attack action on your turn shattering on impact. Make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the alchemist's fire as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d4 fire damage at the start of each of its turns. A creature can end this damage by using its action to make a DC 12 Dexterity check to extinguish the flames. Hit or miss, the liquid ignites a square 15 ft on a side of the ground centered on the target. Creatures who enter an ignited area for the first time on a turn or start their turn there take 2d4 fire damage. A square 5 foot section of ignited area can be extinguished as an action.
Dragons breath (Canister) This volatile concoction is illegal to carry into most cities. Typically stored in a magically reinforced container, militaries and criminal master alchemists are the only source, neither of which are likely to give up their secrets. As an action you can speak the command word and throw the canister up to 30 ft where it shatters in a conflagration. Everyone in a 15 ft radius must make a DC 16 Dex save taking 6d4 fire damage on a failure and are ignited. Objects not worn or carried automatically fail this save. Ignited creatures take 6d4 fire damage at the start of each of their turns. A creature may use an action to attempt to put out the fire on themselves or others with a DC 16 Dexterity Check. Creatures who succeed on their saving throw take half damage and are not ignited.
caltrops As an action, you can spread a single bag of caltrops to cover a 5-foot-square area. Any creature that enters the area must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or stop moving and take 1 piercing damage. Until the creature regains at least 1 hit point, its walking speed is reduced by 10 feet. A creature moving through the area at half speed doesn't need to make the saving throw.
Barbed Caltrops
As with caltrops, but the damage is 1d4 piercing and the caltrops stick to those who fail their saving throw dealing 1 point of piercing damage for every 5 feet of movement spent. The caltrops can be removed as an action and they must be removed before recovering HP in order to regain movement speed.
Footbane caltrop bag
This magic bag contains 20 caltrops. When the command word is spoken, the caltops spring out of the bag to a location within 15 ft of the caster and spread themselves out over a 10-ft square area. They continue to move around that area until another command word is spoken to return them to the bag, an hour passes, or five creatures fail their saving throw against them as they become too spread out to be effective. Any caltrops not returned to the bag within 1 hour become non-magical. The constant movement of the caltrops make them impossible to hide, however, it also means that moving at half speed does not let a creature avoid having to make the save. If caltrops are lost or left behind they can be replaced by filling the bag with 20 non-magical caltrops and leaving them in the bag for 8 hours.
Acid Vial
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 acid damage.
Elemental vial As with acid Vial, but dealing fire, frost, poison, lightning, or thunder damage.
Clinging acid As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this vial onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw the vial up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged Attack against a creature or object, treating the acid as an improvised weapon. On a hit, the target takes 3d6 acid damage. At the end of each of the creatures' turns it takes a number of D6s of acid damage one less than the previous instance. (If it took 3d6 last time it takes 2d6 this time.) A creature may take the use an object action to reduce the next instance of this damage on themselves or an ally within 5 ft by 1d6. A creature proficient with alchemy tools may use the tools as part of the use an object action to reduce the next instance of damage damage by 2d6 instead.
Dragon's Bile [Flavor text] As with clinging acid but the starting damage is 5d6, creatures have disadvantage on saving throws to maintain concentration and while taking the ongoing damage, and the action now requires a DC 15 dexterity check to succeed. (alchemy tool proficiency applies)
Holy water
As an action, or replacing an attack as part of the attack action, you can splash the contents of this flask onto a creature within 5 feet of you or throw it up to 20 feet, shattering it on impact. In either case, make a ranged attack against a target creature, treating the holy water as an improvised weapon. If the target is a fiend or undead, it takes 2d6 radiant damage.
Sacred oil As an action you can apply this oil to a melee or ranged weapon. For 1 minute, attacks made with the weapon are considered magical and deal an additional 1d6 radiant damage to fiends or undead. This oil smells abhorrent to fiends. Once opened, and for one hour after it is applied to a weapon, fiends within 100 feet of the open vial or weapon will not suffer the surprised condition.
Tears of the Saints/Blood of the Martyrs [Flavor text] As an action, you speak a command phrase (usually a prayer of censure) and throw the reliquary up to 30 feet away from you. The souls of the wronged cry out for vengeance and each undead (for tears) or Fiend (for blood) within 30 feet of the target location, that can see or hear, takes 2d6 radiant damage and must make a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw. If the creature fails its saving throw, and its CR is 1 or less it is destroyed (undead) or banished to its home plane (fiends). A creature above CR 1 that fails it's save is turned for 1 minute or until it takes any damage.
A turned creature must spend its turns trying to move as far away from the target location as it can, and it can't willingly move to a space within 30 feet of it. The creature also can't take reactions. For its action, it can use only the Dash action or try to escape from an effect that prevents it from moving. If there's nowhere to move, the creature can use the Dodge action.
Healing potion You regain 2d4+2 hit points when you drink this potion. Drinking or administering a potion takes an action.
Bloodmush! "For people who don't have enough blood in them, so that they can have more blood in them!" -NoRefunds, wandering kobold trader
"Usually made by those who are not serviced by the guilds and do not have the necessary expertise or available raw materials to make healing potions, satchets of this dark red paste are far more likely to be found in orc, goblinoid, and kobold tribes than civilized areas." Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 7
You regain 1d4+1 hit points when you eat this paste or apply it directly to a wound. This takes an action.
Salve "There has been a great deal of arguments regarding Salve. Some claim it is merely another means of applying a healing potion, but be wary. Salve is not regulated by the guild, so there are no laws protecting its quality. Use at your own risk." -Archaic Alchemy of the Six Nations, chapter 2
As an action, one dose of Salve can be swallowed or applied to the skin. The creature that receives it gains benefits according to the following list.
Fake Salve: pain is relieved, but receive no actual benefits.
Fowl Salve: gain 2d4+2 temporary HP. At the end of 1 minute take 2d4 poison damage and lose any remaining temporary HP.
Mediocre salve: regain 1 HP and 2d4 temp HP. At the end of 1 minute if any temp HP from this salve remains, lose the temp HP and regain the same amount of HP.
Quality salve: regain 2d4+2 HP.
Exquisite salve: regain 2d8 + 2 hit points, cease to be poisoned, and becured of up to one non-magical disease.
Unidentified salve: can be identified by using it, or by a creature proficient in alchemist's supplies making a successful DC 15 Intelligence (Alchemist's tools) check as part of a short rest. When identified, roll a D20 and compare it to the following table. 1 fake Salve 2-3 fowl Salve 4-10 mediocre salve 11-19 quality Salve 20 exquisite Salve
DM note: the range of Salve quality in the setting is worse than indicated by the table. The fact that most sellers will not intentionally sell fake or fowl Salve to the heavily armed, notoriously violent adventurers skews the table in their favor.
2024.06.01 15:17 Safe-Upstairs-5720 Feedback on investment plan - getting started with ETF - THANK YOU!!
Hello everyone !
I’d like to start this post by thanking the community as a whole for the real treasure trove that is this subreddit’ and it’s wiki in particular, it really contains a lot of information and resources to get started!
After having read everything I could find there very thoroughly, I wanted to get some quick feedback on my plans on how to get started on this investment journey. There are many things that I read where I wasn’t sure if they were still valid, so I would also like to know if some of the assumptions I’m taking make sense.
My personal situation is the following: I’m 29, working as Data scientist in a consulting firm, I earn a bit more than 3.4K net per month (with 13th month, meal vouchers, etc to be added as well), and I spend about 1.8K-2K per month (I pay 850€ for rent). I’ve been quite careful with my money ever since I started working so I’ve managed to put some money on the side, here is the breakdown:
Here are my questions:
Does this seem like a good ratio?
Could someone help me get a better view on this?
Many thanks for your help and your feedback !!
submitted by Safe-Upstairs-5720 to BEFire [link] [comments]
I’d like to start this post by thanking the community as a whole for the real treasure trove that is this subreddit’ and it’s wiki in particular, it really contains a lot of information and resources to get started!
After having read everything I could find there very thoroughly, I wanted to get some quick feedback on my plans on how to get started on this investment journey. There are many things that I read where I wasn’t sure if they were still valid, so I would also like to know if some of the assumptions I’m taking make sense.
My personal situation is the following: I’m 29, working as Data scientist in a consulting firm, I earn a bit more than 3.4K net per month (with 13th month, meal vouchers, etc to be added as well), and I spend about 1.8K-2K per month (I pay 850€ for rent). I’ve been quite careful with my money ever since I started working so I’ve managed to put some money on the side, here is the breakdown:
- 10K on my deposit account
- 15K on my savings account (not bringing much in terms of interest but better than on deposit I figured)
- 20K in ‘bons d’états / staatsbonden’, which I will get back in September with some interests
- 9K in Comptes-titres since end of 2022, I deposit 200€ on this every month but return is not great (+- 4%)
- 18K in ‘Argenta Life Plan’ investments since end of 2022, return has been +5% since I deposited
- 8K in ‘épargne-pension’, that I started in 2017, where I deposit 80€ every month (overall return has been +20% since I started)
- 9K in ‘pension complémentaire’ paid by my various employers since I started my career
Here are my questions:
- How much to invest in ETF?
- I’d like to keep some sort of emergency fund of about 10K, to pay for unexpected expenses or for my fees during periods in between jobs (I’m thinking of changing job soon)
- I’m thinking of buying a flat or a house in the coming years, my girlfriend will help but she has far less money on the side (15k) and my parents can probably lend me some money to get enough to ask for a loan from a bank
- Given my current revenue and spending level, I put approx 1K to 1.5K on the side each month
Does this seem like a good ratio?
- Which broker?
Could someone help me get a better view on this?
- What ETF?
Many thanks for your help and your feedback !!
2024.06.01 15:13 PaulSimonBarCarloson One month after the finale, here's my take for an alternate ending... just for fun
Last month, The Bad Batch came to its end with a quite explosive finale. And I made no mystery that I had a few issues with how this story wrapped up. After all the build-up we had in the previous episodes, the finale kinda fell flat, especially on a few meaningful plot threads that were basically dropped unceremoniously. Of course, I still love this show despite everything; this post is not meant to be a criticism towards the show creators: it's their show, and they did what they wanted with it. But I figured it wouldn't hurt to try to imagine a different ending just for the fun of it. I have no pretension to claim that my take is objectively better by any means; it's just different, some people may like it, other my prefer the ending we got or a completely different one and there is nothing wrong with it.
Also, I need to clarify that this whole thing came to me almost by itself in a moment when I just had the right inspiration to collect all the random ideas I had in the back of my mind and put them in a somewhat cohesive order. I admit that it might feel a little disjointed at times, and for that I apologize, but I wrote it in less than two hours and I didn't want to change it too much before posting it. I'm not a professional writer, and this post is meant to be just a fun experiment. Now, in order for this ending to work, we would definitely need to make the finale longer: half an hour should be enough and would make the finale as long as the pilot. Also, a few scenes, like Omega's escape with the kids and the unleashing of the Zillo beast could be moved at the end of the penultimate episode, to gain a little more time for the finale (would be nice if Omega were the one to control it through the Force, but that's a whole other can of worms I'm not ready to open).
My alternate ending differs from the original in three key aspects: first, Rex is present to play a small but important part in the mission on Tantiss, and ideally he would bring along a few of his men, including Howzer and Gregor. Rescuing the clones from Tantiss has always been his quest since late season 2; the Batch basically tagged along just to save Crosshair, and later Omega. Why would Rex only send Echo on this very important mission? They could have easily explained his arrival on Tantiss in various ways. Maybe they could have said Echo sent him the coordinates. Or even better, they could have showed that the ship they used to hitch a ride on the science vessel had a tracker on it, so that Rex could follow: just like they originally planned to do on Eriadu.
Second, the CX troopers would have a more meaningful role in the climax, without being just reduced to mindless NPCs that need to be killed: Rex and the others know very well that those clones are all victims; which leads me to the third, most obvious, point: Tech is revealed as CX-2. Now, I don't want to start another debate on the subject: no use to argue about it now that the show is over. I had my reasons to believe that the story could only benefit from Tech being alive, and I had plenty of reasons to believe CX-2 was actually him. This is just my opinion, and you are not forced to agree with it; if you think Tech's disappearance was handled correctly or that it was necessary for "stakes" or whatever reason, then it's fine. It's just that my version works with him being alive, in order to give us a proper pay-off with a complete family reunion. So, now that the premise is over, I can finally start to explain how the ending would be different in my take:
The big changes would start during the scene in the training chamber. Like in the original, while Hunter, Crosshair and Wrecker are being reconditioned, Hemlock does his evil monologue, where he mentions the last time they saw each other, after losing a brother and says that "history my repeat itself". To me, those lines seemed to be specifically written for a Tech reveal, so in this scene Hemlock actually has CX-2 unmask himself: maybe he could say something like "Isn't this a lovely family reunion?", while the others are being reconditioned, and can't even say a word as they look in horror at what their brother has become. As Hemlock leaves the room to answer Tarkin's call, Echo, Rex and the others are the ones dealing with the CX troopers down below while CX-2 (and not the other big guy) is the one watching over the others as Omega comes to rescue them. As soon as Omega recognizes Tech, she calls him by his name, and hearing it for the first time causes something to trigger in the assassin's mind. Then the scene goes differently after Omega frees the others.
They all try to fight against Tech who still has the upper hand for various reasons. We know he's a capable fighter and the smartest of the group. He's also actively trying to harm them, while the others are pulling their punches. Not to mention Omega is too weak for him, Hunter and Crosshair are already depleted and Wrecker is also injured. During the fight, however, the others try to talk to him, and he clearly starts to hesitate, especially when he hears some words that he might recognize. Even after being incapacitated, Crosshair is the one that's more desperate in trying to reason with his brother, by bringing up his personal experience with the chip and telling him that it's never too late to do the right choice. But then Hemlock, noticing Tech's weird behavior, calls him with the order to bring Omega to the landing platform for a quick escape. So he's the one who drags her on the bridge while she still desperately tries to reason with her brother, begging him to remember who he is, possibly referencing that conversation they had in the cave back in season 2.
Now, before the climax, we need to talk about the other 3/4 assassins that Echo, Rex and the others would be dealing with. Of course, they wouldn't just kill them, but they would make an effort not to harm them, trying to stun them instead. Unlike Tech, these assassins won't be freed from their mind control immediately, we could say it's because the chip has made the reconditioning take better hold of them. We'll leave the door open for Rex and the others to figure out a way to cure them after taking them away from Tantiss (no matter what, they're still their brothers). As an added bonus, we could reveal two of them to be named clones that we know of. One could be Cody, since Rampart could have lied about him being AWOL; in this scenario, I would also say that Cody should be the one to cut Crosshair's hand, adding another layer to their interesting dynamic. Another one might be Wolfe, who also might have tried to desert after Teth, or maybe they just took him before he could even start to doubt the Empire (apologies if this doesn't align well with Rebels: correct me if that's the case). This will, of course, add even more tension to the fight with Rex and the others; maybe, as cruel as it might be, he could be the one to kill Howzer, tough it's not mandatory, and personally I don't like pointless deaths.
Now, on the bridge the scene is a little different; my ideas can be a little confusing from now on so bear with me. Omega still gets handcuffed to Hemlock while Tech and Scorch are guarding his escape, maybe with a few more stormtroopers who are easily shot down by Hunter and Crosshair. Wrecker is also there this time: though he doesn't have a blaster, he charges straight towards Hemlock, but Tech shoots him on the shoulder and the leg, neutralizing him. So now we have Crosshair and Hunter on one side, Hemlock and Omega on the other like in the show, but we also have Tech, Scorch and the incapacitated Wrecker in the mix. The ship still needs to arrive and land on this specific platform, so we still have time for a brief verbal confrontation between Tech and the others during this stalemate. Hemlock tries to prove a point by giving Tech the order to finish off his brother, but Crosshair finally manages to breach through him by asking him "When have you ever followed orders?", to which Tech finally breaks free of the reconditioning on his own ("We do not need help. We will figure out a solution, as we always do").
Without thinking twice, Tech shoots Scorch to disarm him but in turn Scorch tackles him off the railing and they both fall; Tech manages to throw a grappling hook on the bridge and Wrecker, crawling on his side, is able to catch the rope before it snaps. Tech is still dangling for his life while Scorch is still clutching his leg, but Wrecker, despite his injuries, is not willing to let him go this time. The tension is high, and the ship for Hemlock has finally arrived, but Omega manages to stay calm and collected and so do Hunter and Crosshair. Just like in the show, she manages to stab Hemlock, allowing Crosshair to shoot the handcuffs with Hunter as a "tripod". Finally free from Hemlock, Omega rushes to help Tech, grabbing his hand after he finally manages to kick away Scorch. After everyone is safe, Wrecker starts to embrace Tech with all the strength he has left, crying as he promises that he'll never let him fall again, while Omega runs to Crosshair and Hunter, and they hug just like in the show: that scene was perfect, so I wouldn't change it one bit. Then of course there is a whole group hug (Echo may join as well), with a softer yet triumphal variation of the main theme in the background.
After the clones are back on the ship, headed to Pabu, Tech apologizes to his brothers for the harm he caused as Hemlock's puppet, describing how terrible it was to act as a soulless assassin while desperately struggling with his mind to break free. Crosshair apologizes to Tech for choosing the Empire over them and for indirectly causing his fall and capture. Tech reassures him not to feel guilty about it, and says that he made his choice when he executed Plan 99, and that, if he could go back, he would still do it, though Hunter jokingly orders him to never do that again, with Omega immediately backing him up. And I don't think I would need to add anything else after this. The rest can go on pretty much as in the original episode; we only need to spare a minute for a proper reunion between Tech and Phee ("Better late than dead") and of course everyone will be sitting under that tree in the end.
And there you have it, this is the best I could come up with after letting my mind wander for a couple of hours. Could have this been plausible? Maybe not. Is it perfect? Definitely not. Is it better than the original ending? I'll let you be the judge to that. But I still wanted to share it with you guys, as a testament to how much I love this show and these characters. Thank you, if you managed to stick this far; whether you liked it or not, hopefully I managed to entertain you a little with my ramblings. Have a good day, and may the Force be with you, always.
submitted by PaulSimonBarCarloson to thebadbatch [link] [comments]
Also, I need to clarify that this whole thing came to me almost by itself in a moment when I just had the right inspiration to collect all the random ideas I had in the back of my mind and put them in a somewhat cohesive order. I admit that it might feel a little disjointed at times, and for that I apologize, but I wrote it in less than two hours and I didn't want to change it too much before posting it. I'm not a professional writer, and this post is meant to be just a fun experiment. Now, in order for this ending to work, we would definitely need to make the finale longer: half an hour should be enough and would make the finale as long as the pilot. Also, a few scenes, like Omega's escape with the kids and the unleashing of the Zillo beast could be moved at the end of the penultimate episode, to gain a little more time for the finale (would be nice if Omega were the one to control it through the Force, but that's a whole other can of worms I'm not ready to open).
My alternate ending differs from the original in three key aspects: first, Rex is present to play a small but important part in the mission on Tantiss, and ideally he would bring along a few of his men, including Howzer and Gregor. Rescuing the clones from Tantiss has always been his quest since late season 2; the Batch basically tagged along just to save Crosshair, and later Omega. Why would Rex only send Echo on this very important mission? They could have easily explained his arrival on Tantiss in various ways. Maybe they could have said Echo sent him the coordinates. Or even better, they could have showed that the ship they used to hitch a ride on the science vessel had a tracker on it, so that Rex could follow: just like they originally planned to do on Eriadu.
Second, the CX troopers would have a more meaningful role in the climax, without being just reduced to mindless NPCs that need to be killed: Rex and the others know very well that those clones are all victims; which leads me to the third, most obvious, point: Tech is revealed as CX-2. Now, I don't want to start another debate on the subject: no use to argue about it now that the show is over. I had my reasons to believe that the story could only benefit from Tech being alive, and I had plenty of reasons to believe CX-2 was actually him. This is just my opinion, and you are not forced to agree with it; if you think Tech's disappearance was handled correctly or that it was necessary for "stakes" or whatever reason, then it's fine. It's just that my version works with him being alive, in order to give us a proper pay-off with a complete family reunion. So, now that the premise is over, I can finally start to explain how the ending would be different in my take:
The big changes would start during the scene in the training chamber. Like in the original, while Hunter, Crosshair and Wrecker are being reconditioned, Hemlock does his evil monologue, where he mentions the last time they saw each other, after losing a brother and says that "history my repeat itself". To me, those lines seemed to be specifically written for a Tech reveal, so in this scene Hemlock actually has CX-2 unmask himself: maybe he could say something like "Isn't this a lovely family reunion?", while the others are being reconditioned, and can't even say a word as they look in horror at what their brother has become. As Hemlock leaves the room to answer Tarkin's call, Echo, Rex and the others are the ones dealing with the CX troopers down below while CX-2 (and not the other big guy) is the one watching over the others as Omega comes to rescue them. As soon as Omega recognizes Tech, she calls him by his name, and hearing it for the first time causes something to trigger in the assassin's mind. Then the scene goes differently after Omega frees the others.
They all try to fight against Tech who still has the upper hand for various reasons. We know he's a capable fighter and the smartest of the group. He's also actively trying to harm them, while the others are pulling their punches. Not to mention Omega is too weak for him, Hunter and Crosshair are already depleted and Wrecker is also injured. During the fight, however, the others try to talk to him, and he clearly starts to hesitate, especially when he hears some words that he might recognize. Even after being incapacitated, Crosshair is the one that's more desperate in trying to reason with his brother, by bringing up his personal experience with the chip and telling him that it's never too late to do the right choice. But then Hemlock, noticing Tech's weird behavior, calls him with the order to bring Omega to the landing platform for a quick escape. So he's the one who drags her on the bridge while she still desperately tries to reason with her brother, begging him to remember who he is, possibly referencing that conversation they had in the cave back in season 2.
Now, before the climax, we need to talk about the other 3/4 assassins that Echo, Rex and the others would be dealing with. Of course, they wouldn't just kill them, but they would make an effort not to harm them, trying to stun them instead. Unlike Tech, these assassins won't be freed from their mind control immediately, we could say it's because the chip has made the reconditioning take better hold of them. We'll leave the door open for Rex and the others to figure out a way to cure them after taking them away from Tantiss (no matter what, they're still their brothers). As an added bonus, we could reveal two of them to be named clones that we know of. One could be Cody, since Rampart could have lied about him being AWOL; in this scenario, I would also say that Cody should be the one to cut Crosshair's hand, adding another layer to their interesting dynamic. Another one might be Wolfe, who also might have tried to desert after Teth, or maybe they just took him before he could even start to doubt the Empire (apologies if this doesn't align well with Rebels: correct me if that's the case). This will, of course, add even more tension to the fight with Rex and the others; maybe, as cruel as it might be, he could be the one to kill Howzer, tough it's not mandatory, and personally I don't like pointless deaths.
Now, on the bridge the scene is a little different; my ideas can be a little confusing from now on so bear with me. Omega still gets handcuffed to Hemlock while Tech and Scorch are guarding his escape, maybe with a few more stormtroopers who are easily shot down by Hunter and Crosshair. Wrecker is also there this time: though he doesn't have a blaster, he charges straight towards Hemlock, but Tech shoots him on the shoulder and the leg, neutralizing him. So now we have Crosshair and Hunter on one side, Hemlock and Omega on the other like in the show, but we also have Tech, Scorch and the incapacitated Wrecker in the mix. The ship still needs to arrive and land on this specific platform, so we still have time for a brief verbal confrontation between Tech and the others during this stalemate. Hemlock tries to prove a point by giving Tech the order to finish off his brother, but Crosshair finally manages to breach through him by asking him "When have you ever followed orders?", to which Tech finally breaks free of the reconditioning on his own ("We do not need help. We will figure out a solution, as we always do").
Without thinking twice, Tech shoots Scorch to disarm him but in turn Scorch tackles him off the railing and they both fall; Tech manages to throw a grappling hook on the bridge and Wrecker, crawling on his side, is able to catch the rope before it snaps. Tech is still dangling for his life while Scorch is still clutching his leg, but Wrecker, despite his injuries, is not willing to let him go this time. The tension is high, and the ship for Hemlock has finally arrived, but Omega manages to stay calm and collected and so do Hunter and Crosshair. Just like in the show, she manages to stab Hemlock, allowing Crosshair to shoot the handcuffs with Hunter as a "tripod". Finally free from Hemlock, Omega rushes to help Tech, grabbing his hand after he finally manages to kick away Scorch. After everyone is safe, Wrecker starts to embrace Tech with all the strength he has left, crying as he promises that he'll never let him fall again, while Omega runs to Crosshair and Hunter, and they hug just like in the show: that scene was perfect, so I wouldn't change it one bit. Then of course there is a whole group hug (Echo may join as well), with a softer yet triumphal variation of the main theme in the background.
After the clones are back on the ship, headed to Pabu, Tech apologizes to his brothers for the harm he caused as Hemlock's puppet, describing how terrible it was to act as a soulless assassin while desperately struggling with his mind to break free. Crosshair apologizes to Tech for choosing the Empire over them and for indirectly causing his fall and capture. Tech reassures him not to feel guilty about it, and says that he made his choice when he executed Plan 99, and that, if he could go back, he would still do it, though Hunter jokingly orders him to never do that again, with Omega immediately backing him up. And I don't think I would need to add anything else after this. The rest can go on pretty much as in the original episode; we only need to spare a minute for a proper reunion between Tech and Phee ("Better late than dead") and of course everyone will be sitting under that tree in the end.
And there you have it, this is the best I could come up with after letting my mind wander for a couple of hours. Could have this been plausible? Maybe not. Is it perfect? Definitely not. Is it better than the original ending? I'll let you be the judge to that. But I still wanted to share it with you guys, as a testament to how much I love this show and these characters. Thank you, if you managed to stick this far; whether you liked it or not, hopefully I managed to entertain you a little with my ramblings. Have a good day, and may the Force be with you, always.
2024.06.01 15:10 New_Selection_4503 Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me
Husband of 20 years is probably cheating on me. So here it goes, sll of my dirty secrets.
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.
submitted by New_Selection_4503 to u/New_Selection_4503 [link] [comments]
I, 45f been married to my husband 46, male for over 20 years to a man I met in my early 20’s. We have been very best friends since the day we met but it has been a rocky relationship. I am from an abusive alcoholic family and I was for a time blissfully an alcoholic along with the family. This of coarse was problematic when looking for a date. More than one boyfriend broke up with me because I drank too much, partied too hard and studied too little. Cue in my dream man, he’s responsible, well educated and a heavy drinker. We partied all night and he got up the next day, no matter how hungover and went to work. My mom said that this is normal, it’s how it’s supposed to be. If a man makes it to work everyday then he’s not an alcoholic. By her definition, only a man who misses work can be accused of drinking too much.
I married this replica of my father and for many blissful years we were married and we partied and drank. We’d drink a bottle or two of wine a few nights a week and on weekends we’d stay up all night, often having parties at our home. It was grand fun, until we had kids. All of the sudden I had to handle night feedings and morning diaper changes while tipsy, drunk or hungover. It didn’t take me long to quit, I had already quit for 9 months while pregnant and I had gotten the idea that life is better sober. But my partner didn’t agree. He was drunk most nights while I was pregnant. When I got annoyed and asked him to quit he hid the bottles. I had a second child with him in spite of the drinking (I wanted a matching set), not my best decision but I don’t regret it. When I was at the hospital he looked exhausted so I sent him home to rest. He went home and drank himself into a stupor. My mom had to drive me home from the hospital and when we got home, he was passed out on the living room floor. He slept for another 10 hours like that and he was drunk the entire first week of my daughter’s life. I had to ask my mom to help care for her since I’d had complications with the birth and had over 30 stitches.
His drinking went on for years with me going from kicking him out of the home to drinking with him. Often I would plead with him to quit and he’d refuse. On 4 occasions we separated, each time selling our home and dividing the property. But he’d get sober and he was always very sorry. At this point we had two kids and I needed the help.
Over time things got better and he went years and years without drinking. I had quit altogether after our first child. In fact things go so much better that he asked to start drinking again. He rationalized that he had been sober for 5 years and that he can handle one of two drinks a week. I agreed under the following terms, he can have up to two drinks with dinner once a week. I know this is a terrible decision, I think it’s fair to say that there is a pattern here of gawd awful decisions on my part. This 2 drink agreement lasted a few months but of course two drinks turned into 3, then it turned into a couple nights a week. I saw it was getting out of hand and I banned drinking again.
In the meantime my partner has gotten substantially better looking. It’s through a combination of favourable genetics, some recent work done and some excellent supplements. He aged well going from a 6.5 in his 20’s to a current day 8.5. More than that he’d recently opened a business and it was booming. For the first time in our married life he started to out earn me. For the first 20 years I was the primary wage earner, but now he’s making the more than me (this is temporary as my wage is about to pick up). The woman are noticing him and It’s not lost on me or him. We went to Mexico last year and women were practically following him around and throwing themselves at him. We go out to eat and woman hit on him. They hit on him at the grocery store and they hit on him at work. To his credit he does not respond to this in front of me or the kids. Nor have I ever heard of him hitting on somebody.
I’m a solid 7 - 7.5. I’ve aged okay, I look decent, I’m maybe a little heavier as size 10. But I’m not a hot young thing giggling at him. I am a wife and a mother, so not always sexy, but still quite a lot prettier than average. But realistically on the open market, I’m probably not attracting an 8.5 that earns his kind of money.
About 8 months ago he started coming home from work drunk. He was hiding it but I could smell the booze on his breath. He claimed it was heartburn but I knew better and I ignored it. I just wanted everything to be okay. There was a woman he was working with, he claimed to hate her, she seemed overly interested in him. There were a few incidents, that made me suspicious but he claimed he hated her. He was never home late from work. She moved away and he seemed fine and I was relieved. But a few months after this the drinking started, along with my denial. I guess I kinda figured that who cares if he cheated, she moved away. Now we can get on with our lives.
Recently he’s coming home from work late, but not too late. It’s an hour late here and there. Sometimes he’d claim that he’d have to stay an extra hour. A few times he went completely missing and claimed to have fallen asleep at the office. The problem is that I don’t really know his hours, it’s possible he’s done earlier. For context, he is self employed and rents a space. But other people rent spaces there too,
He’s been coming home drunker and drunker lately while still denying he’s been drinking. I’m ashamed to admit it but I ignored it to the point where I let him drive the kids a few times like that. I was just so far into denial, but I knew somewhere deep down that he was drunk.
He’s normally off work at 5pm and in the car by 5:10pm. But lately he’s not in the car until 5:45pm, ignoring my calls and sometimes coming into the house as late as 6pm. I mean it’s only 45 minutes right? A few times he’d go missing until 7:30 or 8pm and he’d say that he hate a late client appointment and had told me but I forgot. Strangely he’s never hungry when he gets home, in spite of being at work all day. In fact he’s not hungry 2 - 3 times a week. He told me that his stomach is bothering him.
Last night he went missing so I went to his office to look for him. I found him asleep in his office alone with an empty bottle of hard alcohol on his desk. I checked his office drawer and it was full of empty bottles. The office is a disaster, messy and all that. I’m not sure how he sees clients in a room like that and I’m worried that he’s taking appointments drunk. His business is doing really well and building it up was a joint effort. I’m worried that his drinking will destroy everything we built.
I woke him up and he was visibly drunk. He told me that he wants to stay at the office to sleep it off and that no he doesn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t come home. It’s been 6 hours. The thing is, that he hates sleeping in his work clothes and his office is desperately uncomfortable. I just don’t see him staying there overnight alone.
When the drinking flared up 6 months ago, it was just him drinking alone. But when he was sober he was still my best friend. But over time he’s stopped responding when I speak. He tells me that he drinks because he can’t stand to listen to my problems anymore. If I ask him about his day I get a one word answer. More and more he looks at me with contempt while drinking. But even stranger, he wants sex more often, I don’t know why this is. But he’s weird about it and hounding me. He’s going on and on about how to wants to try a sex position we’ve never done, talking about how much he likes it. He’s also looking over my shoulder and checking my phone, which is new. it’s intrusive as I don’t even know his passcode and feel no temptation to check his phone.
He gets paid in cash and has a drawer full of it at the office so I can’t check his cards.
Now I know what you are going to say. He’s definitely cheating, I mean he probably is. But we live in a no fault place so what does it matter if I get proof or not? Also I have two kids to think of and we aren’t in a financial position to leave. I will need time to pay down our joint debt and I need a new job. I’m thinking that the best course of action is to stay silent and improve my situation so that I can support my kids and myself. I think this works for him too as he doesn’t want to get stuck with all sorts of child support or alimony. Giving me time to get back on my feet and improve my financial position works for both of us.
The thing is that if I even bring up getting divorced or separated he says that I am the light of his life. He says that he loves me and that I’m his best friend. He says that he doesn’t want to leave. Then I feel so badly. If I even broach the topic of separating, he’ll shut it down so quickly. He’s overwhelming and persistent and he out talks me. I think there’s no use in talking it out and I don’t see us living together well under some sort of “arrangement”.
Do you have any advice on what to do next? Do you have any idea why he’s acting this way? If he wants to separate why not just do it? Also what’s with the increased sex drive?
One of the oddities is that I’ve been doing really great lately. I’ve lost some weight, my hair is looking good. My business sucks but I’ve been taking on new gigs and retraining. I’m becoming a person that I’m really proud of and every day seems to be getting better. But the better I do, the more contempt he seems to have for me. I can see the bitterness in his drunkenness. And he gets drunks on nights when I have to work and when I have something important going on. He blames the drinking on me. He says that I only talk about myself (maybe I do, I’m trying to improve). He says that I ask too much of him and that I make him contribute to the house too much but I do 100% of the grocery shopping, cooking, lunches, school stuff, homework and kids activities. He comes home and goes straight to bed while complaining that he’s doing too much. Meanwhile I’m breaking myself trying to make the home perfect enough.
Is there any chance that he’s just old and tired and not cheating? I mean he’s only missing for 45 minutes a day? I should mention that he’s stopped answering my calls during the workday and stopped reading my texts.
The weird thing is that I felt relieved to find him surrounded by booze bottles and I’m glad he’s done tonight. I’ve spent the majority of my adult life begging him to be sober. Tonight I could see the contempt in his eyes towards me. I just don’t know that I can move past it. I think I just want to be free from this now.
Do you have any advice? I’ve never been through anything like this and I could use some support and guidance.
I think that taking 4 - 6 months to resolve the situation might be best. This gives me time to find a new job and to pay down some debt and bolster savings.
2024.06.01 15:05 WhovianTrekkie_6366 My Star Trek Ranking Part 2: 900-876
Hello; really loved the interaction with my first post, so thanks so much for that! I'll just reiterate: spoilers for all Star Trek, and everything is just my opinion.
900) Unnatural Selection (1989)
TNG 2x7
Writer: John Mason & Mike Gray
Director: Paul Lynch
We've seen this idea done before and better. Yeah, it's a little bit different this time: it centres around children genetically engineered to be free of disease (isn't that illegal in the Federation?). But the actual plot of the episode is little different from TOS' The Deadly Years, with Doctor Pulaski aging and trying to find a cure for the condition. An uninspired repeat of a TOS episode that wasn't even that good in the first place.
899) We'll Always Have Paris (1988)
TNG 1x23
Writer: Deborah Dean Davis & Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Robert Becker
Bored me stiff. I'm not always a huge fan of time travel stuff in general, and this is one of the least dynamic uses of that story type I've ever seen. Picard also has some weak character development, in his reminiscence about the girlfriend he left behind to join Starfleet, after he runs into her in this episode. The resolution with Data is fine, though, and I do like that they used him, as somebody less affected by the Maddox Effect, to solve the problem. Functional, just really dull.
898) Angel One (1988)
TNG 1x13
Writer: Patrick Barry
Director: Michael Rhodes
I will say that, as a teenage boy and as a young man now, this episode did give me empathy for what women go through in real life: being dismissed as weak and soft and barred from meaningful work. Beyond that, however, this episode really says nothing. It feels like it wants to be a deep and compelling exploration of gender roles, but apart from that feeling of empathy it gave me it doesn't accomplish anything of the kind. It's just a rote story about an oppressed section of society trying to combat their oppressors, and Riker saves the dissidents from being executed with a dull speech.
897) Silicon Avatar (1991)
TNG 5x4
Writer: Jeri Taylor, story by Lawrence V Conley
Director: Cliff Bole
Oh, just what I always wanted: the return of the Crystalline Entity from Datalore! Most anticipated villain return ever! But seriously, this could have been an interesting episode exploring a decent creature, but all that ends up happening is the Enterprise chasing the Crystalline Entity while Data has conversations with the mother of one of the victims of its attack on his colony. I will say that her hatred of Data got some genuine emotion out of me, as I raise my hackles against anyone who dares attack that loveable android, and seeing her come round to him was reasonably satisfying. But I still wasn't intrigued by their conversations, or the story of her seeking revenge for her son's death. The actual murder of the Crystalline Entity was done with a decent weight, but the episode takes forever to get there, through a slog of boring conversations and virtually no emotional investment for me.
896) The Outrageous Okona (1988)
TNG 2x4
Writer: Burton Armus, story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson & David Landsberg
Director: Robert Becker
An aimless, artless story of a rogue caught between two fathers hounding him for his misdeeds. I don't find Okona amusing or charming, so his heavy presence in the episode doesn't do anything for me, and the story surrounding him is weak too. Data's stand-up comedy stuff is quite funny; Brent Spiner plays it brilliantly. I particularly enjoy the scene where he's trying out his act on Guinan, and it's just so bad. Also love Whoopi Goldberg's delivery of 'No' after Data asks her if his act was good. But this B-plot has only a flimsy connection to the main story, and therefore its presence leaves the end product feeling messy as well as weak.
895) Bounty (2003)
ENT 2x25
Writer: Hans Tobeason, Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong, story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Director: Roxann Dawson
An A-plot and B-plot that are both very bad. The story of Archer getting kidnapped by a bounty hunter is rote and uninspired, and definitely feels like it was one of the last ideas the writers came up with for the season. They were just filling time with a poor sequel to the earlier episode Judgement. His interactions with the Tellarite do not interest me at all, and I do not care about the Tellarite's lost ship. The B-plot with T'Pol prematurely going through the Pon Farr sees some of the worst sexualisation of the character, plus some cringey dialogue between her and Phlox. Archer's ending escape from the Klingons, with the Tellarite's secret help, is solid, though.
894) The Omega Glory (1968)
TOS 2x23
Writer: Gene Roddenberry
Director: Vincent McEveety
Goes from mundane to insane. For much of its runtime I would give this my label of dull but functional: there's a rogue Starfleet Captain trying to discover the secret to eternal youth on a pre-warp planet, and there's a lot of fighting with some of the savage natives. It's all very boring... until the last quarter.
It gets revealed that this is (yet another) TOS Season 2 Earth parallel, with the savages representing the US and the village people the Communists. There is no explanation given for how the aliens ended up with all the exact paraphernalia of that time on Earth, from the US flag to the American Constitution; it's all just ludicrous.
The crowning weirdness of the episode is Kirk's lauding of the American Constitution as the greatest thing ever invented. Now, I don't just not like this because I'm English; I would feel the same if the British (unwritten) Constitution was being lauded like this. I consider myself a pretty patriotic person, and I believe that every country has equal reason to celebrate themselves, but I feel it is utterly inappropriate in Star Trek for any one country or group to be held up as the ultimate shining example of civilisation. This is because Trek is meant to represent a future where everybody's come together under one banner. There's a lot to praise about the American Constitution, but it's inappropriate for it to be held up as the 'One True Way', if you will. Kirk's final admiring look at the US flag is so cringeworthily saccharine. So, yeah, this episode is boring for most of its runtime, and it certainly isn't in the end... it's much worse.
893) The Muse (1996)
DS9 4x21
Writer: Rene Echevarria, story by Rene Echevarria & Majel Barrett-Roddenberry
Director: David Livingston
The DS9 Lwaxana Troi episodes are largely not a good time, and this is the absolute worst of them. The story of her pregnancy feels so hammy and forced, and the drama with her and Odo doesn't interest me at all. She also doesn't feel like she has much of a presence in the episode, which is shocking given how she came on so wonderfully strong in TNG. The other plotline with Jake is also uninteresting. It's at least not as bad as the Lwaxana storyline, but it's still so very uninspired (you see what I did there?). Annoyingly our last Lwaxana appearance; they really should have stopped her episodes after TNG's Dark Page; that was the perfect ending for her character.
892) When the Bough Breaks (1988)
TNG 1x16
Writer: Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Kim Manners
Gene Roddenberry did like his kiddie episodes, didn't he? The idea of 'Atlantis-but-a-planet' is interesting, but the episode wastes the concept on a tiresome kidnapping story. The kids are fine I guess, but I'd also rather not be watching them. Wesley feels kinda out-of-place among them, to be honest, considering how noticeably older he is. I will say that Picard's reaction to the abduction: 'You have just committed an act of utter barbarity!' is a superb bit of acting from Stewart, but other than that there's nothing else I'll praise about this outing.
891) Pen Pals (1989)
TNG 2x15
Writer: Melinda M Snodgrass, story by Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Winrich Kolbe
This always feels like a short to me, despite its forty-five minute length. No time is spent building up Data and the alien kid's relationship; we just see the kid's first communication, then jump into Data confessing to Picard he's been in contact with a pre-warp individual. So I have no investment in this relationship, which is a shame because Data-plus-kid had the potential to be really sweet. They just didn't put the legwork into it. The resolution is fine.
890) Unforgettable (1998)
VOY 4x22
Writer: Greg Elliot & Michael Perricone
Director: Andrew Robinson
Got to be the most ironic title in Trek history, since this episode is extremely forgettable. It's also mind-numbingly boring: Trek does not have a good track record with single-episode romances, and this has got to be one of the worst. I feel zero connection to the guest character and zero investment in her relationship with Chakotay. The idea of a species that you forget after they've been gone for a while is intriguing, but it is wasted on this insipid romance. This was one of the longest forty-five minutes I've ever sat through.
889) Transfigurations (1990)
TNG 3x25
Writer: Rene Echevarria
Director: Tom Benko
Speaking of dull one-episode romances, here's another one. The idea of a species going through a butterfly-like transformation, that is feared and suppressed by the authorities, is again intriguing. It reminds me of the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who story The Mutants, if anyone's watched that, except it's done less well. Again, the good concept is wasted on a boring romance, this time between Beverly and her patient. This is another one that feels much longer than forty-five minutes.
888) Bread and Circuses (1968)
TOS 2x25
Writer: Gene Roddenberry & Gene L Coon
Director: Ralph Senensky
At this point in TOS Season 2, I just thought: 'Really, Mr Roddenberry? Another Earth parallel? I know you like them, but this is getting ridiculous!' Not only is this a tired repeat of an already done idea, but no explanation is given for why this planet parallels the Roman Empire. In A Piece of the Action and Patterns of Force clever reasons were given, but in this it's just presented as a weird fact. That doesn't fly with me.
And even if they had come up with another clever explanation, they have done this idea, which I don't like very much anyway, way too many times this season. I did have some minor interest in the concept of a Rome that never fell, but not enough to sustain me for fifty minutes. Boring and uninspired to the highest degree. I will say there's one really great scene between Spock and Bones in a prison cell, though, when Bones confronts Spock about how he keeps all his emotions carefully concealed.
887) How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth (1974)
TAS 2x5
Writer: Russell Bates & David Wise
Director: Bill Reed
Similar to Who Mourns for Adonais?, in that it gives us an omnipotent alien, who was once worshipped as a God on Earth, and has returned to take charge of his wayward children, only to ultimately discover they don't need him anymore. This is a much weaker version of that story, however, with a less sympathetic godlike character and less runtime to flesh out the idea.
The episode also takes a weird swerve halfway through, from the setting of Kukulkan's city (a nice location, I must say) to his zoo, which I find much less appealing. This episode had an idea, but it wasn't quite sure how to tell the story. Kukulkan genuinely scared me a little, though, and I did feel sorry for him when he flew off, knowing that his former worshippers had outgrown him. But again, that was done better in TOS.
886) Resurrection (1997)
DS9 6x8
Writer: Michael Taylor
Director: LeVar Burton
Michael Taylor is a curious writer for me. He has written both some of my favourite and some of my least favourite episodes, with little middle ground. This falls hard into the latter category. It's interesting to have someone from the Mirror Universe cross into the Prime Universe, rather than the other way around as normally happens, and it's doubly interesting to have that someone be Mirror Bareil. But the episode falls flat on its face: every scene is just so interminably dull, and, unlike his Prime Universe counterpart, this Bareil has no chemistry with Kira. So boring, so pedestrian, and the absolute worst of the DS9 Mirror Universe episodes.
885) The Paradise Syndrome (1968)
TOS 3x3
Writer: Margaret Armen
Director: Jud Taylor
I think this is the epitome of functional but dull. The story makes sense, the characters' motivations make sense, but that doesn't mean the episode is interesting. I do like the idea of the Preservers, beings who transplanted members of endangered peoples, here the Native Americans, to other planets, but the episode flops. Kirk's memory loss leads to a yawnworthy stay among the Native Americans, filled with predictable tensions and conflicts, and a bland romance. The Spock and Bones B-plot is also boring. I feel a little something for Miramanee's death, but only a little something.
884) Assignment: Earth (1968)
TOS 2x26
Writer: Art Wallace, story by Gene Roddenberry & Art Wallace
Director: Marc Daniels
Star Trek without the Star Trek. Deciding not to focus on the main characters for an episode isn't a bad idea in and of itself, but the characters put in their stead hold little interest for me. The same is true of the plot they work within. This was of course a backdoor pilot for a spin-off that never manifested, and maybe if it had come about I would like this episode much more, but as it stands I find the characters unintriguing and the plot uninspired. The climax is particularly poor, with about seventy different shots of the rocket going into orbit, while the characters mill about and do very little. I want me my Kirk, Spock and Bones back.
883) The Red Angel (2019)
DSC 2x10
Writer: Chris Silvestri & Anthony Maranville
Director: Hanelle M Culpepper
Down here for the same reasons as previous DSC Season 2 episodes I've put on this list. It engages heavily in the twin foul-ups of the Spock's sister storyline and the Section 31 portrayal. I hate the base concept of Burnham being Spock's sister, for reasons I've explained in my previous post, so I despise all their scenes together, that build out this relationship that I wish had never been. And Section 31 continues to be portrayed as a public wing of the Federation, with ships and resources provided by Starfleet, which is godawful.
I will say, however, that I do kinda like the sequence where Burnham has to strap herself to a chair and bare herself to the planet's toxic atmosphere in order to summon the Red Angel. And the reveal that the Angel is not herself but in fact her mother is cool. But this is still a really bad episode.
882) The Storyteller (1993)
DS9 1x13
Writer: Kurt Michael Bensmiller & Ira Steven Behr, story by Kurt Michael Bensmiller
Director: David Livingston
A really messy, weak outing. The A- and B-plots have nothing to do with each other, which isn't automatically bad, but here it just makes the episode feel untidy. Of the two, I prefer the Jake and Nog subplot; it's funny seeing them mooning over the female teenage leader of a settlement who comes to the station. Their getting in trouble to impress her is charming. The A-plot sucks, though: the whole business of O'Brien having to become the protector of this village, from an amorphous cloud villain, is just lame, and the resolution is whatever. It is funny to see O'Brien and Julian in their first episode together, though, and witnessing how much O'Brien doesn't care for the good Doctor at this point. Oh, how times will change.
881) The Arsenal of Freedom (1988)
TNG 1x20
Writer: Richard Manning & Hans Beimler, story by Maurice Hurley & Robert Lewin
Director: Les Landau
A ramshackle adventure with a medley of different storylines, all of which are underwhelming. The best is Geordi's plotline, where he asserts himself as commander of the Enterprise over the *rsehole Chief Engineer of the week, but the other two don't really have any redeeming qualities. The Riker and co storyline is repetitive and the Picard and Beverly storyline is dull. I do like that the threat is resolved when Picard agrees to make a purchase from this dead civilisation, though.
880) Move Along Home (1993)
DS9 1x9
Writer: Frederick Rappaport, Lisa Rich & Jeanne Carrigan-Fauci, story by Michael Piller
Director: David Carson
OK, so I said this wasn't the worst of DS9, but it's still really bad. Though I have to say that, after I watched this with my siblings last year, and had such fun doing so, I've never been able to see it quite so badly. It's bad, yeah, but it's so, so much fun. The best-worst bit is of course the alien hopscotch scene, and I also really have to give credit to Alexander Siddig for playing some brilliant cringey comedy with Julian. The scene where he's trying to wake himself up from a nightmare by screaming? So funny. These (sort of) praises made, this is still a stinker of an episode, with a messy plot, too-silly events, and some serious overacting from Armin Shimerman at the end. Definitely something best watched with friends or family.
Allamaraine, count to four,
Allamaraine, then three more,
Allamaraine, if you can see,
Allamaraine, you'll come with me!
879) Justice (1987)
TNG 1x7
Writer: Worley Thorne, story by Ralph Wills & Worley Thorne
Director: James L Conway
I love the basic idea of this episode: Wesley runs afoul of a law on another planet and is sentenced to death by their draconian justice system. Then Picard has to struggle with whether to obey the Prime Directive or save his life. But the episode is dragged down by some weird costuming choices and, most of all, the addition of an omnipotent entity that watches over the planet's people. This should have just been an episode about Picard struggling between duty and conscience; the addition of a mega-powerful being steals screentime from this fine idea.
878) A Simple Investigation (1997)
DS9 5x17
Writer: Rene Echevarria
Director: John T Kretchmer
Uuuuugh; another boring single-episode romance. It's an interminable chore to sit through, from beginning to end, with tired, uninspired romantic scenes and an unexciting criminalistic plot surrounding the Orion Syndicate. I also don't like how the Changelings' linking is equated with sex in that one scene. There are a few fun scenes with O'Brien, Julian and Jadzia when they're playing the spy holosuite program (Jadzia's 'Ooh, somebody stop me!', or O'Brien's 'Hi, Odo!'), but that's about it.
877) Such Sweet Sorrow Part Two (2019)
DSC 2x14
Writer: Michelle Paradise, Junny Lumet, & Alex Kurtzman
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi
DSC wasn't merely content to introduce a sister for Spock who weakened the story of his childhood and family life. They had to make that sister so important in his life that he'd be willing to go with her into the future and leave his life behind. I hate that Kurtzman and co made this decision, as it makes everything in TOS, SNW etc feel like Spock settling for second-best, when in reality he is fulfilling his life's purpose in those series.
I also never connected with any of the DSC original characters, except for Saru, and even with him I don't feel any emotion at their grand final 23rd Century adventure to stop Control. As I've said before, this evil sentient AI story is a tired, repeated idea, and its connection to the terrible portrayal of Section 31 makes it worse. As a result of all this don't give a single crap about any of the grand-scale action in this episode, and I feel nothing for the loss of the Discovery crew to the far future. I will say that this episode did at least propel DSC into the 32nd Century, which would end up saving the series from being irredeemably awful, and it sets up the phenomenal SNW (although we didn't strictly need all this for SNW to work).
876) Vis a Vis (1998)
VOY 4x20
Writer: Robert Doherty
Director: Jesus Salvador Trevino
A vapid story about Tom feeling dissatisfied with his life on Voyager, and getting replaced by a shape-stealing alien. The concept for the alien is solid, but the execution doesn't fly. It ends up being a limp episode that drags quite a bit, with a bland character arc for Tom at its centre. Shoutout for the appearance of Dan Butler as the alien's main form, though; he played the testosterone-fuelled Bulldog Briscoe in my favourite comedy, Frasier.
That's it for now. Thank you very much for reading, and Live Long and Prosper!
submitted by WhovianTrekkie_6366 to startrek [link] [comments]
900) Unnatural Selection (1989)
TNG 2x7
Writer: John Mason & Mike Gray
Director: Paul Lynch
We've seen this idea done before and better. Yeah, it's a little bit different this time: it centres around children genetically engineered to be free of disease (isn't that illegal in the Federation?). But the actual plot of the episode is little different from TOS' The Deadly Years, with Doctor Pulaski aging and trying to find a cure for the condition. An uninspired repeat of a TOS episode that wasn't even that good in the first place.
899) We'll Always Have Paris (1988)
TNG 1x23
Writer: Deborah Dean Davis & Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Robert Becker
Bored me stiff. I'm not always a huge fan of time travel stuff in general, and this is one of the least dynamic uses of that story type I've ever seen. Picard also has some weak character development, in his reminiscence about the girlfriend he left behind to join Starfleet, after he runs into her in this episode. The resolution with Data is fine, though, and I do like that they used him, as somebody less affected by the Maddox Effect, to solve the problem. Functional, just really dull.
898) Angel One (1988)
TNG 1x13
Writer: Patrick Barry
Director: Michael Rhodes
I will say that, as a teenage boy and as a young man now, this episode did give me empathy for what women go through in real life: being dismissed as weak and soft and barred from meaningful work. Beyond that, however, this episode really says nothing. It feels like it wants to be a deep and compelling exploration of gender roles, but apart from that feeling of empathy it gave me it doesn't accomplish anything of the kind. It's just a rote story about an oppressed section of society trying to combat their oppressors, and Riker saves the dissidents from being executed with a dull speech.
897) Silicon Avatar (1991)
TNG 5x4
Writer: Jeri Taylor, story by Lawrence V Conley
Director: Cliff Bole
Oh, just what I always wanted: the return of the Crystalline Entity from Datalore! Most anticipated villain return ever! But seriously, this could have been an interesting episode exploring a decent creature, but all that ends up happening is the Enterprise chasing the Crystalline Entity while Data has conversations with the mother of one of the victims of its attack on his colony. I will say that her hatred of Data got some genuine emotion out of me, as I raise my hackles against anyone who dares attack that loveable android, and seeing her come round to him was reasonably satisfying. But I still wasn't intrigued by their conversations, or the story of her seeking revenge for her son's death. The actual murder of the Crystalline Entity was done with a decent weight, but the episode takes forever to get there, through a slog of boring conversations and virtually no emotional investment for me.
896) The Outrageous Okona (1988)
TNG 2x4
Writer: Burton Armus, story by Les Menchen, Lance Dickson & David Landsberg
Director: Robert Becker
An aimless, artless story of a rogue caught between two fathers hounding him for his misdeeds. I don't find Okona amusing or charming, so his heavy presence in the episode doesn't do anything for me, and the story surrounding him is weak too. Data's stand-up comedy stuff is quite funny; Brent Spiner plays it brilliantly. I particularly enjoy the scene where he's trying out his act on Guinan, and it's just so bad. Also love Whoopi Goldberg's delivery of 'No' after Data asks her if his act was good. But this B-plot has only a flimsy connection to the main story, and therefore its presence leaves the end product feeling messy as well as weak.
895) Bounty (2003)
ENT 2x25
Writer: Hans Tobeason, Mike Sussman & Phyllis Strong, story by Rick Berman & Brannon Braga
Director: Roxann Dawson
An A-plot and B-plot that are both very bad. The story of Archer getting kidnapped by a bounty hunter is rote and uninspired, and definitely feels like it was one of the last ideas the writers came up with for the season. They were just filling time with a poor sequel to the earlier episode Judgement. His interactions with the Tellarite do not interest me at all, and I do not care about the Tellarite's lost ship. The B-plot with T'Pol prematurely going through the Pon Farr sees some of the worst sexualisation of the character, plus some cringey dialogue between her and Phlox. Archer's ending escape from the Klingons, with the Tellarite's secret help, is solid, though.
894) The Omega Glory (1968)
TOS 2x23
Writer: Gene Roddenberry
Director: Vincent McEveety
Goes from mundane to insane. For much of its runtime I would give this my label of dull but functional: there's a rogue Starfleet Captain trying to discover the secret to eternal youth on a pre-warp planet, and there's a lot of fighting with some of the savage natives. It's all very boring... until the last quarter.
It gets revealed that this is (yet another) TOS Season 2 Earth parallel, with the savages representing the US and the village people the Communists. There is no explanation given for how the aliens ended up with all the exact paraphernalia of that time on Earth, from the US flag to the American Constitution; it's all just ludicrous.
The crowning weirdness of the episode is Kirk's lauding of the American Constitution as the greatest thing ever invented. Now, I don't just not like this because I'm English; I would feel the same if the British (unwritten) Constitution was being lauded like this. I consider myself a pretty patriotic person, and I believe that every country has equal reason to celebrate themselves, but I feel it is utterly inappropriate in Star Trek for any one country or group to be held up as the ultimate shining example of civilisation. This is because Trek is meant to represent a future where everybody's come together under one banner. There's a lot to praise about the American Constitution, but it's inappropriate for it to be held up as the 'One True Way', if you will. Kirk's final admiring look at the US flag is so cringeworthily saccharine. So, yeah, this episode is boring for most of its runtime, and it certainly isn't in the end... it's much worse.
893) The Muse (1996)
DS9 4x21
Writer: Rene Echevarria, story by Rene Echevarria & Majel Barrett-Roddenberry
Director: David Livingston
The DS9 Lwaxana Troi episodes are largely not a good time, and this is the absolute worst of them. The story of her pregnancy feels so hammy and forced, and the drama with her and Odo doesn't interest me at all. She also doesn't feel like she has much of a presence in the episode, which is shocking given how she came on so wonderfully strong in TNG. The other plotline with Jake is also uninteresting. It's at least not as bad as the Lwaxana storyline, but it's still so very uninspired (you see what I did there?). Annoyingly our last Lwaxana appearance; they really should have stopped her episodes after TNG's Dark Page; that was the perfect ending for her character.
892) When the Bough Breaks (1988)
TNG 1x16
Writer: Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Kim Manners
Gene Roddenberry did like his kiddie episodes, didn't he? The idea of 'Atlantis-but-a-planet' is interesting, but the episode wastes the concept on a tiresome kidnapping story. The kids are fine I guess, but I'd also rather not be watching them. Wesley feels kinda out-of-place among them, to be honest, considering how noticeably older he is. I will say that Picard's reaction to the abduction: 'You have just committed an act of utter barbarity!' is a superb bit of acting from Stewart, but other than that there's nothing else I'll praise about this outing.
891) Pen Pals (1989)
TNG 2x15
Writer: Melinda M Snodgrass, story by Hannah Louise Shearer
Director: Winrich Kolbe
This always feels like a short to me, despite its forty-five minute length. No time is spent building up Data and the alien kid's relationship; we just see the kid's first communication, then jump into Data confessing to Picard he's been in contact with a pre-warp individual. So I have no investment in this relationship, which is a shame because Data-plus-kid had the potential to be really sweet. They just didn't put the legwork into it. The resolution is fine.
890) Unforgettable (1998)
VOY 4x22
Writer: Greg Elliot & Michael Perricone
Director: Andrew Robinson
Got to be the most ironic title in Trek history, since this episode is extremely forgettable. It's also mind-numbingly boring: Trek does not have a good track record with single-episode romances, and this has got to be one of the worst. I feel zero connection to the guest character and zero investment in her relationship with Chakotay. The idea of a species that you forget after they've been gone for a while is intriguing, but it is wasted on this insipid romance. This was one of the longest forty-five minutes I've ever sat through.
889) Transfigurations (1990)
TNG 3x25
Writer: Rene Echevarria
Director: Tom Benko
Speaking of dull one-episode romances, here's another one. The idea of a species going through a butterfly-like transformation, that is feared and suppressed by the authorities, is again intriguing. It reminds me of the Jon Pertwee Doctor Who story The Mutants, if anyone's watched that, except it's done less well. Again, the good concept is wasted on a boring romance, this time between Beverly and her patient. This is another one that feels much longer than forty-five minutes.
888) Bread and Circuses (1968)
TOS 2x25
Writer: Gene Roddenberry & Gene L Coon
Director: Ralph Senensky
At this point in TOS Season 2, I just thought: 'Really, Mr Roddenberry? Another Earth parallel? I know you like them, but this is getting ridiculous!' Not only is this a tired repeat of an already done idea, but no explanation is given for why this planet parallels the Roman Empire. In A Piece of the Action and Patterns of Force clever reasons were given, but in this it's just presented as a weird fact. That doesn't fly with me.
And even if they had come up with another clever explanation, they have done this idea, which I don't like very much anyway, way too many times this season. I did have some minor interest in the concept of a Rome that never fell, but not enough to sustain me for fifty minutes. Boring and uninspired to the highest degree. I will say there's one really great scene between Spock and Bones in a prison cell, though, when Bones confronts Spock about how he keeps all his emotions carefully concealed.
887) How Sharper Than a Serpent's Tooth (1974)
TAS 2x5
Writer: Russell Bates & David Wise
Director: Bill Reed
Similar to Who Mourns for Adonais?, in that it gives us an omnipotent alien, who was once worshipped as a God on Earth, and has returned to take charge of his wayward children, only to ultimately discover they don't need him anymore. This is a much weaker version of that story, however, with a less sympathetic godlike character and less runtime to flesh out the idea.
The episode also takes a weird swerve halfway through, from the setting of Kukulkan's city (a nice location, I must say) to his zoo, which I find much less appealing. This episode had an idea, but it wasn't quite sure how to tell the story. Kukulkan genuinely scared me a little, though, and I did feel sorry for him when he flew off, knowing that his former worshippers had outgrown him. But again, that was done better in TOS.
886) Resurrection (1997)
DS9 6x8
Writer: Michael Taylor
Director: LeVar Burton
Michael Taylor is a curious writer for me. He has written both some of my favourite and some of my least favourite episodes, with little middle ground. This falls hard into the latter category. It's interesting to have someone from the Mirror Universe cross into the Prime Universe, rather than the other way around as normally happens, and it's doubly interesting to have that someone be Mirror Bareil. But the episode falls flat on its face: every scene is just so interminably dull, and, unlike his Prime Universe counterpart, this Bareil has no chemistry with Kira. So boring, so pedestrian, and the absolute worst of the DS9 Mirror Universe episodes.
885) The Paradise Syndrome (1968)
TOS 3x3
Writer: Margaret Armen
Director: Jud Taylor
I think this is the epitome of functional but dull. The story makes sense, the characters' motivations make sense, but that doesn't mean the episode is interesting. I do like the idea of the Preservers, beings who transplanted members of endangered peoples, here the Native Americans, to other planets, but the episode flops. Kirk's memory loss leads to a yawnworthy stay among the Native Americans, filled with predictable tensions and conflicts, and a bland romance. The Spock and Bones B-plot is also boring. I feel a little something for Miramanee's death, but only a little something.
884) Assignment: Earth (1968)
TOS 2x26
Writer: Art Wallace, story by Gene Roddenberry & Art Wallace
Director: Marc Daniels
Star Trek without the Star Trek. Deciding not to focus on the main characters for an episode isn't a bad idea in and of itself, but the characters put in their stead hold little interest for me. The same is true of the plot they work within. This was of course a backdoor pilot for a spin-off that never manifested, and maybe if it had come about I would like this episode much more, but as it stands I find the characters unintriguing and the plot uninspired. The climax is particularly poor, with about seventy different shots of the rocket going into orbit, while the characters mill about and do very little. I want me my Kirk, Spock and Bones back.
883) The Red Angel (2019)
DSC 2x10
Writer: Chris Silvestri & Anthony Maranville
Director: Hanelle M Culpepper
Down here for the same reasons as previous DSC Season 2 episodes I've put on this list. It engages heavily in the twin foul-ups of the Spock's sister storyline and the Section 31 portrayal. I hate the base concept of Burnham being Spock's sister, for reasons I've explained in my previous post, so I despise all their scenes together, that build out this relationship that I wish had never been. And Section 31 continues to be portrayed as a public wing of the Federation, with ships and resources provided by Starfleet, which is godawful.
I will say, however, that I do kinda like the sequence where Burnham has to strap herself to a chair and bare herself to the planet's toxic atmosphere in order to summon the Red Angel. And the reveal that the Angel is not herself but in fact her mother is cool. But this is still a really bad episode.
882) The Storyteller (1993)
DS9 1x13
Writer: Kurt Michael Bensmiller & Ira Steven Behr, story by Kurt Michael Bensmiller
Director: David Livingston
A really messy, weak outing. The A- and B-plots have nothing to do with each other, which isn't automatically bad, but here it just makes the episode feel untidy. Of the two, I prefer the Jake and Nog subplot; it's funny seeing them mooning over the female teenage leader of a settlement who comes to the station. Their getting in trouble to impress her is charming. The A-plot sucks, though: the whole business of O'Brien having to become the protector of this village, from an amorphous cloud villain, is just lame, and the resolution is whatever. It is funny to see O'Brien and Julian in their first episode together, though, and witnessing how much O'Brien doesn't care for the good Doctor at this point. Oh, how times will change.
881) The Arsenal of Freedom (1988)
TNG 1x20
Writer: Richard Manning & Hans Beimler, story by Maurice Hurley & Robert Lewin
Director: Les Landau
A ramshackle adventure with a medley of different storylines, all of which are underwhelming. The best is Geordi's plotline, where he asserts himself as commander of the Enterprise over the *rsehole Chief Engineer of the week, but the other two don't really have any redeeming qualities. The Riker and co storyline is repetitive and the Picard and Beverly storyline is dull. I do like that the threat is resolved when Picard agrees to make a purchase from this dead civilisation, though.
880) Move Along Home (1993)
DS9 1x9
Writer: Frederick Rappaport, Lisa Rich & Jeanne Carrigan-Fauci, story by Michael Piller
Director: David Carson
OK, so I said this wasn't the worst of DS9, but it's still really bad. Though I have to say that, after I watched this with my siblings last year, and had such fun doing so, I've never been able to see it quite so badly. It's bad, yeah, but it's so, so much fun. The best-worst bit is of course the alien hopscotch scene, and I also really have to give credit to Alexander Siddig for playing some brilliant cringey comedy with Julian. The scene where he's trying to wake himself up from a nightmare by screaming? So funny. These (sort of) praises made, this is still a stinker of an episode, with a messy plot, too-silly events, and some serious overacting from Armin Shimerman at the end. Definitely something best watched with friends or family.
Allamaraine, count to four,
Allamaraine, then three more,
Allamaraine, if you can see,
Allamaraine, you'll come with me!
879) Justice (1987)
TNG 1x7
Writer: Worley Thorne, story by Ralph Wills & Worley Thorne
Director: James L Conway
I love the basic idea of this episode: Wesley runs afoul of a law on another planet and is sentenced to death by their draconian justice system. Then Picard has to struggle with whether to obey the Prime Directive or save his life. But the episode is dragged down by some weird costuming choices and, most of all, the addition of an omnipotent entity that watches over the planet's people. This should have just been an episode about Picard struggling between duty and conscience; the addition of a mega-powerful being steals screentime from this fine idea.
878) A Simple Investigation (1997)
DS9 5x17
Writer: Rene Echevarria
Director: John T Kretchmer
Uuuuugh; another boring single-episode romance. It's an interminable chore to sit through, from beginning to end, with tired, uninspired romantic scenes and an unexciting criminalistic plot surrounding the Orion Syndicate. I also don't like how the Changelings' linking is equated with sex in that one scene. There are a few fun scenes with O'Brien, Julian and Jadzia when they're playing the spy holosuite program (Jadzia's 'Ooh, somebody stop me!', or O'Brien's 'Hi, Odo!'), but that's about it.
877) Such Sweet Sorrow Part Two (2019)
DSC 2x14
Writer: Michelle Paradise, Junny Lumet, & Alex Kurtzman
Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi
DSC wasn't merely content to introduce a sister for Spock who weakened the story of his childhood and family life. They had to make that sister so important in his life that he'd be willing to go with her into the future and leave his life behind. I hate that Kurtzman and co made this decision, as it makes everything in TOS, SNW etc feel like Spock settling for second-best, when in reality he is fulfilling his life's purpose in those series.
I also never connected with any of the DSC original characters, except for Saru, and even with him I don't feel any emotion at their grand final 23rd Century adventure to stop Control. As I've said before, this evil sentient AI story is a tired, repeated idea, and its connection to the terrible portrayal of Section 31 makes it worse. As a result of all this don't give a single crap about any of the grand-scale action in this episode, and I feel nothing for the loss of the Discovery crew to the far future. I will say that this episode did at least propel DSC into the 32nd Century, which would end up saving the series from being irredeemably awful, and it sets up the phenomenal SNW (although we didn't strictly need all this for SNW to work).
876) Vis a Vis (1998)
VOY 4x20
Writer: Robert Doherty
Director: Jesus Salvador Trevino
A vapid story about Tom feeling dissatisfied with his life on Voyager, and getting replaced by a shape-stealing alien. The concept for the alien is solid, but the execution doesn't fly. It ends up being a limp episode that drags quite a bit, with a bland character arc for Tom at its centre. Shoutout for the appearance of Dan Butler as the alien's main form, though; he played the testosterone-fuelled Bulldog Briscoe in my favourite comedy, Frasier.
That's it for now. Thank you very much for reading, and Live Long and Prosper!
2024.06.01 15:04 StopDownloadin But Wait, There's More! 1/?
Had this idea bouncing around in my head about the little ferret guy, Etholin Esila. I figured with him being a 'merchant lord' he'd want to start cutting deals with Emma once the initial curiosity and amazement over Earth tech would have passed. Not sure where this is going, if anywhere, but just wanted to get it out of my head and onto 'paper'.
Thanks to u/DndQuickQuestion for helping with feedback on earlier drafts.
Afternoon Transgracian Academy of Magical Arts
The hulking minotaur loomed menacingly over me. "Crawling along the floor suits you well, Merchant Lord Etholin Esila!” it boomed in an intimidating baritone. “Merchant Lord, pfah! Even a mangy cur such as that Mercenary Prince has a legacy of valor and martial prowess behind his dubious title, but you?”
An accusatory finger was jabbed in my direction. “Nothing but puffery and bluster to buttress your status as a glorified shopkeep! Your ilk claims to broker fair trade between the Realms, but those with integrity and honor recognize the deceit you employ to conjure false value from nothing." It was difficult to tell if Lord Auris Ping's tirade was aimed more at myself, the Esila clan, or the concept of inter-realm commerce in general.
At the moment, I was more concerned with herding my scattered belongings back into my satchel. While rushing to my next appointment, I had the dubious privilege of colliding with this mountain of a brute. Naturally I was on the losing side of that contest, and was sent tail over head to the floor, scattering the contents of my school satchel across the polished granite. Not one to pass up the chance at a crass display of dominance, Lord Ping had launched into the rant that everyone in earshot was currently enduring.
"Look at you, scrabbling on the floor to fetch your little trinkets, a fitting match for your base and covetous nature!" Fairly pedestrian, as far as character assassination went. I’d been called far worse while helping Father with trade negotiations, sometimes at sword or stave point. One had to develop quite a thick hide when engaging in cross-realm commerce. Especially with many realms having rather… absolutist opinions about the value of goods, like Lord Ping here. But I had zero interest in contesting his assertions, despite how idiotic they were.
Haggling or arguing with Pronarthians was a singularly wretched experience. They were infamous across the Realms for their single-mindedness and a compulsive need to have the last word that bordered on lunacy. I didn’t have the patience for the endless ingratiating flattery required to bore through such stubbornness. If that wasn’t enough, a gentleman of my stature also had to consider Pronarthians’ sizeism; specifically their intrinsic respect for the larger and taller races.
And that was merely the average Pronarthian! Arguing with a belligerent lout, accustomed to deference as Lord Ping? I'd sooner try my hand at flying out the nearby window. At least the loamy soil below would give me a fighting chance, or a jagged rock would grant me the mercy of a swift end.
Instead, I busied myself putting my things in order, taking special care with one item in particular. It was a set of memory crystals I received from the Earthrealmer, Cadet Emma Booker. It was part of a ‘transdimensional cultural exchange pilot program,’ as she had described it with her nation’s peculiar bureaucratic jargon. I had previously conducted similar transactions in my initial dealings with Cadet Booker, and it was those first tentative steps that convinced me to make Cadet Booker a full-fledged premiere trade partner of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company, the pride of the Esila clan.
The myriad tomes and treatises from Earthrealm, such as the riveting "The Wealth of Nations," amply demonstrated that Earthrealm had an extremely sophisticated understanding of commerce, finance, and logistics. But it was the ‘video archive footage,’ transferred onto memory crystals for ease of viewing, that convinced me at a visceral level that these Earthrealmers were a sound investment. I felt it on my whisker-tips, as the commoners back home would say.
"May I offer a helping hand, Lord Esila?" inquired a familiar voice. I looked up to see a scaly, clawed hand extended toward me. “And perhaps a sympathetic ear? After all, that was a rather nasty bit of slander from Lord Ping, would you not agree?”
Wonderful. This nonsense again.
While I had been lost in thought contemplating Ocean Breeze’s latest windfall, Lord Ping seemed to have lost interest and resumed going about his business. Taking his place, as always, was Lord Qiv Ratom, ever ready to sift through the rubble of Lord Ping's latest ham-fisted antics for personal gain. "You will find that my views differ considerably from Lord Ping's. I, for one, admire the manner in which you extract value from your trade partners. After all, does it not require skill and cunning to convince the customer that your wares are worth far greater than their true value? Such nuance and subtlety is lost on the likes of Auris Ping, content to strong-arm what he desires from others."
I paused for a moment, at a loss for words. His tone suggested his 'praise' was sincere, but only stoked my ire further. What in the thrice-damned Hells did he think he was accomplishing? Did he really think that telling me, "Well, I still regard you as a thief, but I APPRECIATE your thieving nature, unlike that uncouth lout!" was going to win me over? Dealing with parties with this attitude to commerce and trade was tedious at best. But ever since making acquaintances with Cadet Booker, whose people's understanding and appreciation of commerce rivaled the Nexians, dealing with the likes of Ping and Ratom was nigh UNBEARABLE.
I rattled off the usual rigmarole we used at Ocean Breeze for clients we wished to keep at arm's length. "With respect, Lord Ratom, the value of the goods we sell is determined by the customer's needs and circumstances. The merchants of my clan arbitrate prices taking such factors into consideration. We see it as our responsibility to provide equitable trade that is not only beneficial to all parties, but also provides fair compensation for the tradesmen involved in executing the transaction."
"But of course, it is as you say," replied Lord Ratom with his signature oily charisma. "Fair and equitable trade, according to the customer's circumstances. Thus, you are but a facilitator of the Fates, a most humble tool of Destiny itself. And one who collects a respectable commission, at that," he continued. He stopped short of winking conspiratorially, but the impish grin playing across his features was a fine substitute. Every mote of my being wanted to shake him until he shed his skin. He continued, "Your... humility aside, my admiration of your clan's cunning and resourcefulness still stands. The insight of one so skilled is always welcome within my inner circle, should you wish to grace us with your presence."
It took all my restraint to not tell him into which orifice he could jam his charity-case friendship offer. After all, I'd been keeping far better and more like-minded company of late. Company that the Baralonian lord was likely dying to ingratiate himself with, given how Cadet Booker and her peer group had taken pains to keep Lord Ratom and his entourage of gossips at arm’s length. Instead, I left the smug reptile’s offer dangling in the air, twisting in the wind for a few agonizing moments while I finished tidying my things. Rising to my feet, I finally replied, "An offer most generous and kind. I will of course, have to consider the circumstances of both customer and merchant. Surely you would not begrudge a humble servant of Fate for waiting for the most auspicious circumstances?" Even at my best, I was hardly a master of rhetoric, so crudely tossing his words back at him was the best I could do.
"As you please, Lord Esila," replied Lord Ratom, finally sensing his return on investment wouldn't be worthwhile, leaving me alone to stew in the hallway. Such was the game played among the aristocracy. I looked down at the bundle of memory crystals in my hands, contemplating on their origin, and how Earthrealm could change how the Esila clan, perhaps even all of Rontalis, played the game.
I continued on my way, thoughts heavy once more.
Evening Ocean Breeze Trading Company, Elaseer Offices, Private Chambers
The Elaseer branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company was a modest affair by Nexian standards, a second-storey affair nestled on the edge of the warehouse district. The restrained yet tasteful trappings were a calculated decision of the Esila clan, proprietors of the trading company. A fine balance had to be struck when it came to outward appearances, after all. Some measure of artful decoration was necessary to appease the Nexian eye’s obsession with projecting might and wealth, but not so much that it would attract too much attention.
Only in the private chambers would a guest finally see some personality in the decor, and a generous measure at that. These were the chambers of the nobleman assigned stewardship of these offices, Lord Rikad Esila, uncle to Etholin Esila. Colorful murals with aquatic motifs adorned the walls, highlighted with tastefully matching lacquered panels featuring artwork done in mother-of-pearl inlay. Similar decor was present in the dining room, where uncle and nephew were currently enjoying what Rikad thought would be a leisurely dinner.
CRACK!
The sharp sound rang out loud and clear in the small room, the source being a steamed crab claw, dashed to pieces on a smooth river stone placed between the two diners at the table.
Lord Rikad's branch of the Esila line hailed from the wetlands of Rontalis that opened up into the sea, and they regularly partook of the ocean's bounty. In antiquity, they were known to smash shellfish and other armored morsels against stones they carried with them to lay bare the tasty prizes within. This dining set configuration was a modern interpretation of that old tradition, with a communal stone for guests to open their shellfish.
Of course, such a homestyle service was available solely behind closed doors and shuttered windows and only then to Rikad and his close associates. Here in the Crownlands, such a 'barbarous and unseemly' artifact would be frowned upon by the prevailing Nexian culture and their gold and mother-of-pearl seafood forks that split the shell with a simple tap. But young Etholin labeled that languid dining as a boring conversational backdrop, inferior to the communal excitement of a well-placed strike.
Etholin’s spirited strike had a strong measure of anger behind it, a fact not lost on Rikad. "Steady now, lad. The aim is to crack the shell, not grind it to powder," chided Rikad, an otter clothed in well-tailored robes that melded practicality with muted elegance. He looked aged and gray compared to the ferret-like Etholin, clad in sumptuous silks and embroidery that assertively declared the young lord’s wealth and standing. Etholin hung his head in embarrassment. "Apologies, Uncle. I lost the reins of my temper."
"Well now, aggravated enough to make a mess of my dining set," observed the older gentleman. "It takes a great deal to get your humors churning like this, from my experience. So tell me lad, what urchin needles you?"
"Ugh, more Academy theatrics, what else? With Lords Auris Ping and Qiv Ratom being today’s star players."
"Ah, The Dunce and the Devil," remarked Rikad, nodding with understanding. This wasn't the first time his nephew had related the pestilent pair’s antics. "What two-act farce did they put on this time?"
"Ping opened with the usual blather about merchants being honorless tricksters, with Ratom swooping in to capitalize on the aftermath. Textbook at this point, really," explained Etholin, waving his hand dismissively. "It... it was just the way those two put forward their thoughts. In isolation, each would have been merely irritating. But with one following the other, I was ready to grind my fangs to nubs! To be cursed as a thief on one side, only to be praised as a thief on the other! It was like they were wielding ignorance as one would a greatsword, and managed to cut me with both edges! Gods, I wanted to THROTTLE the idiocy out of them!"
"‘Tis to be expected," said Rikad in consolation. "A great many noble families, even entire Realms at times, came about their status through force of arms or magical prowess, and thus they hold a dim view of commerce as a profession. It is a routine chore for us, navigating around them to find those with less absolutist views on the worth of goods, or more forgiving definitions of 'honest work'. An Adjacent Realm that does not cheat its creditors by altering the weight of its coins or debasing them with base metals and insisting otherwise while hiding behind the safety of their portal is worth its weight in gold."
"Sometimes I feel we ought to cut them out of our affairs entirely and deal with the Nexians, directly and exclusively," mused Etholin bitterly.
"Now, now, though your anger is justified, that's hardly reason for it to take hold of your mind's rudder," cautioned Rikad with a frown. "The Nexians have well-developed philosophies on trade in line with our own, but we only have the resources of a single Realm at our disposal, while the Nexians can leverage the bounty of their never-ending and mana-rich lands. Dealing solely with a behemoth that can devour us with a thought, no matter how frictionless those dealings are, is hardly my idea of a beneficial partnership."
Etholin sighed. "As always, your counsel is sensible, Uncle. Like I said, I lost the reins of my temper in a moment of weakness."
"Don't be so sour on things like this, lad. Our base nature gets the better of us at times, that is the animal within that we all struggle with. That you acknowledged such a lapse and took back the helm is proof that civility prevails. But, enough moping about!" Rikad jumped out of his seat with a little pep in his step. "Looks like we need to guide you back into good spirits, and I know JUST the thing for gentlemen such as us," concluded the elder merchant, twirling his whiskers playfully.
"Somehow I think a night at the theater or music halls will do little for me, Uncle. Or are you suggesting we seek respite at the bottom of a tankard?"
Rikad snorted derisively. "Oh please, I'm not senile yet, pup! Since when has SPENDING money brought joy to anyone worthy of the Esila name?" That made Elothin perk up a bit. Rikad continued, "No, I speak of a PROPER good time, I speak of..."
"COMMERCE!" they cried out in unison, fists held aloft in a triumphant pose. "Does that mean..." began Etholin.
"Indeed, we've just received the latest prototypes for the centralized mana ampoule, linking cords, and so-called 'mana motors'. Perfectly timed with the parts delivery from Cadet Booker not two days ago. Sukie, be a dear and clear this up, and have the remainder bundled up and sent to the young master's rooms at the Academy." Rikad motioned for the housekeepers to clear the table, then ushered Etholin to his private offices where they could discuss business strategy in depth.
Uncle Rikad’s offices were more than just a cozy place where Etholin could get a taste of home. Officially, Rikad was stationed here to oversee the administration of this branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company. In reality, the office was a means to circumvent the Academy's prohibition against students communicating regularly with their home realm. Many aristocratic families employed similar cheats and dodges involving ‘familial duties’ and ‘business obligations’ to skirt the rules. If the Nexians cared about closing such loopholes, they didn’t show it. Perhaps the quaint maneuverings of their lessers amused the elves, who could say?
In this case, Rikad and Etholin were leveraging this loophole to the fullest, as they strategized on how to execute the next steps of their latest commercial venture, which Rikad would then relay to the head offices in Rontalis. As their planning session drew to a close, Rikad remarked on the time. “Well, it would seem that evening has fast become night. You are welcome to stay overnight here, as always, or perhaps you would prefer to retire to the Academy dormitories? Either way, I doubt you’d want to watch an old man doze off in his reading room listening to music.”
At the mention of leisure time, Etholin's eyes widened in surprise, and he began rooting around in his satchel. "Oh goodness, I entirely forgot!"
"What is it, lad?"
"Oh, Cadet Booker has provided us with more of her 'video archive files', transcribed to memory crystal," explained Etholin as he produced the set of crystals from his satchel, perfectly sized for the compact projection device that Rikad kept in his rooms.
"Ah, splendid! Another of the young lady's documentary presentations on commerce? Or perhaps one of her theatrical serials? Both are fine ways to while away the night."
“I’m not sure, but Cadet Booker said we would enjoy them a great deal,” said Etholin as he placed the crystal into the office's projector. As the machine spooled up, a moving image was cast onto the whitewashed wall across the room. As with all Earthrealm recordings, it was entirely mundane, bereft of any sign of manafields. Compared to mana based memory shards, Earthrealm recordings felt like faded sketches. None of that hindered the recording's impact on the viewers.
"Hoh? This is-" exclaimed Rikad, eyes lighting up in recognition.
An Earthrealmer with a thick, lustrous beard strode into view, his confidence and enthusiasm palpable despite the muted colors of the recording. The Earthrealmer’s voice rang out from the projector, carrying that same confidence and infectious enthusiasm like a barker worthy of the title of Grand Master.
Rikad and Etholin cheered in unison.
"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE, WITH ANOTHER GREAT PRODUCT!"
submitted by StopDownloadin to JCBWritingCorner [link] [comments]
Thanks to u/DndQuickQuestion for helping with feedback on earlier drafts.
Afternoon Transgracian Academy of Magical Arts
The hulking minotaur loomed menacingly over me. "Crawling along the floor suits you well, Merchant Lord Etholin Esila!” it boomed in an intimidating baritone. “Merchant Lord, pfah! Even a mangy cur such as that Mercenary Prince has a legacy of valor and martial prowess behind his dubious title, but you?”
An accusatory finger was jabbed in my direction. “Nothing but puffery and bluster to buttress your status as a glorified shopkeep! Your ilk claims to broker fair trade between the Realms, but those with integrity and honor recognize the deceit you employ to conjure false value from nothing." It was difficult to tell if Lord Auris Ping's tirade was aimed more at myself, the Esila clan, or the concept of inter-realm commerce in general.
At the moment, I was more concerned with herding my scattered belongings back into my satchel. While rushing to my next appointment, I had the dubious privilege of colliding with this mountain of a brute. Naturally I was on the losing side of that contest, and was sent tail over head to the floor, scattering the contents of my school satchel across the polished granite. Not one to pass up the chance at a crass display of dominance, Lord Ping had launched into the rant that everyone in earshot was currently enduring.
"Look at you, scrabbling on the floor to fetch your little trinkets, a fitting match for your base and covetous nature!" Fairly pedestrian, as far as character assassination went. I’d been called far worse while helping Father with trade negotiations, sometimes at sword or stave point. One had to develop quite a thick hide when engaging in cross-realm commerce. Especially with many realms having rather… absolutist opinions about the value of goods, like Lord Ping here. But I had zero interest in contesting his assertions, despite how idiotic they were.
Haggling or arguing with Pronarthians was a singularly wretched experience. They were infamous across the Realms for their single-mindedness and a compulsive need to have the last word that bordered on lunacy. I didn’t have the patience for the endless ingratiating flattery required to bore through such stubbornness. If that wasn’t enough, a gentleman of my stature also had to consider Pronarthians’ sizeism; specifically their intrinsic respect for the larger and taller races.
And that was merely the average Pronarthian! Arguing with a belligerent lout, accustomed to deference as Lord Ping? I'd sooner try my hand at flying out the nearby window. At least the loamy soil below would give me a fighting chance, or a jagged rock would grant me the mercy of a swift end.
Instead, I busied myself putting my things in order, taking special care with one item in particular. It was a set of memory crystals I received from the Earthrealmer, Cadet Emma Booker. It was part of a ‘transdimensional cultural exchange pilot program,’ as she had described it with her nation’s peculiar bureaucratic jargon. I had previously conducted similar transactions in my initial dealings with Cadet Booker, and it was those first tentative steps that convinced me to make Cadet Booker a full-fledged premiere trade partner of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company, the pride of the Esila clan.
The myriad tomes and treatises from Earthrealm, such as the riveting "The Wealth of Nations," amply demonstrated that Earthrealm had an extremely sophisticated understanding of commerce, finance, and logistics. But it was the ‘video archive footage,’ transferred onto memory crystals for ease of viewing, that convinced me at a visceral level that these Earthrealmers were a sound investment. I felt it on my whisker-tips, as the commoners back home would say.
"May I offer a helping hand, Lord Esila?" inquired a familiar voice. I looked up to see a scaly, clawed hand extended toward me. “And perhaps a sympathetic ear? After all, that was a rather nasty bit of slander from Lord Ping, would you not agree?”
Wonderful. This nonsense again.
While I had been lost in thought contemplating Ocean Breeze’s latest windfall, Lord Ping seemed to have lost interest and resumed going about his business. Taking his place, as always, was Lord Qiv Ratom, ever ready to sift through the rubble of Lord Ping's latest ham-fisted antics for personal gain. "You will find that my views differ considerably from Lord Ping's. I, for one, admire the manner in which you extract value from your trade partners. After all, does it not require skill and cunning to convince the customer that your wares are worth far greater than their true value? Such nuance and subtlety is lost on the likes of Auris Ping, content to strong-arm what he desires from others."
I paused for a moment, at a loss for words. His tone suggested his 'praise' was sincere, but only stoked my ire further. What in the thrice-damned Hells did he think he was accomplishing? Did he really think that telling me, "Well, I still regard you as a thief, but I APPRECIATE your thieving nature, unlike that uncouth lout!" was going to win me over? Dealing with parties with this attitude to commerce and trade was tedious at best. But ever since making acquaintances with Cadet Booker, whose people's understanding and appreciation of commerce rivaled the Nexians, dealing with the likes of Ping and Ratom was nigh UNBEARABLE.
I rattled off the usual rigmarole we used at Ocean Breeze for clients we wished to keep at arm's length. "With respect, Lord Ratom, the value of the goods we sell is determined by the customer's needs and circumstances. The merchants of my clan arbitrate prices taking such factors into consideration. We see it as our responsibility to provide equitable trade that is not only beneficial to all parties, but also provides fair compensation for the tradesmen involved in executing the transaction."
"But of course, it is as you say," replied Lord Ratom with his signature oily charisma. "Fair and equitable trade, according to the customer's circumstances. Thus, you are but a facilitator of the Fates, a most humble tool of Destiny itself. And one who collects a respectable commission, at that," he continued. He stopped short of winking conspiratorially, but the impish grin playing across his features was a fine substitute. Every mote of my being wanted to shake him until he shed his skin. He continued, "Your... humility aside, my admiration of your clan's cunning and resourcefulness still stands. The insight of one so skilled is always welcome within my inner circle, should you wish to grace us with your presence."
It took all my restraint to not tell him into which orifice he could jam his charity-case friendship offer. After all, I'd been keeping far better and more like-minded company of late. Company that the Baralonian lord was likely dying to ingratiate himself with, given how Cadet Booker and her peer group had taken pains to keep Lord Ratom and his entourage of gossips at arm’s length. Instead, I left the smug reptile’s offer dangling in the air, twisting in the wind for a few agonizing moments while I finished tidying my things. Rising to my feet, I finally replied, "An offer most generous and kind. I will of course, have to consider the circumstances of both customer and merchant. Surely you would not begrudge a humble servant of Fate for waiting for the most auspicious circumstances?" Even at my best, I was hardly a master of rhetoric, so crudely tossing his words back at him was the best I could do.
"As you please, Lord Esila," replied Lord Ratom, finally sensing his return on investment wouldn't be worthwhile, leaving me alone to stew in the hallway. Such was the game played among the aristocracy. I looked down at the bundle of memory crystals in my hands, contemplating on their origin, and how Earthrealm could change how the Esila clan, perhaps even all of Rontalis, played the game.
I continued on my way, thoughts heavy once more.
Evening Ocean Breeze Trading Company, Elaseer Offices, Private Chambers
The Elaseer branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company was a modest affair by Nexian standards, a second-storey affair nestled on the edge of the warehouse district. The restrained yet tasteful trappings were a calculated decision of the Esila clan, proprietors of the trading company. A fine balance had to be struck when it came to outward appearances, after all. Some measure of artful decoration was necessary to appease the Nexian eye’s obsession with projecting might and wealth, but not so much that it would attract too much attention.
Only in the private chambers would a guest finally see some personality in the decor, and a generous measure at that. These were the chambers of the nobleman assigned stewardship of these offices, Lord Rikad Esila, uncle to Etholin Esila. Colorful murals with aquatic motifs adorned the walls, highlighted with tastefully matching lacquered panels featuring artwork done in mother-of-pearl inlay. Similar decor was present in the dining room, where uncle and nephew were currently enjoying what Rikad thought would be a leisurely dinner.
CRACK!
The sharp sound rang out loud and clear in the small room, the source being a steamed crab claw, dashed to pieces on a smooth river stone placed between the two diners at the table.
Lord Rikad's branch of the Esila line hailed from the wetlands of Rontalis that opened up into the sea, and they regularly partook of the ocean's bounty. In antiquity, they were known to smash shellfish and other armored morsels against stones they carried with them to lay bare the tasty prizes within. This dining set configuration was a modern interpretation of that old tradition, with a communal stone for guests to open their shellfish.
Of course, such a homestyle service was available solely behind closed doors and shuttered windows and only then to Rikad and his close associates. Here in the Crownlands, such a 'barbarous and unseemly' artifact would be frowned upon by the prevailing Nexian culture and their gold and mother-of-pearl seafood forks that split the shell with a simple tap. But young Etholin labeled that languid dining as a boring conversational backdrop, inferior to the communal excitement of a well-placed strike.
Etholin’s spirited strike had a strong measure of anger behind it, a fact not lost on Rikad. "Steady now, lad. The aim is to crack the shell, not grind it to powder," chided Rikad, an otter clothed in well-tailored robes that melded practicality with muted elegance. He looked aged and gray compared to the ferret-like Etholin, clad in sumptuous silks and embroidery that assertively declared the young lord’s wealth and standing. Etholin hung his head in embarrassment. "Apologies, Uncle. I lost the reins of my temper."
"Well now, aggravated enough to make a mess of my dining set," observed the older gentleman. "It takes a great deal to get your humors churning like this, from my experience. So tell me lad, what urchin needles you?"
"Ugh, more Academy theatrics, what else? With Lords Auris Ping and Qiv Ratom being today’s star players."
"Ah, The Dunce and the Devil," remarked Rikad, nodding with understanding. This wasn't the first time his nephew had related the pestilent pair’s antics. "What two-act farce did they put on this time?"
"Ping opened with the usual blather about merchants being honorless tricksters, with Ratom swooping in to capitalize on the aftermath. Textbook at this point, really," explained Etholin, waving his hand dismissively. "It... it was just the way those two put forward their thoughts. In isolation, each would have been merely irritating. But with one following the other, I was ready to grind my fangs to nubs! To be cursed as a thief on one side, only to be praised as a thief on the other! It was like they were wielding ignorance as one would a greatsword, and managed to cut me with both edges! Gods, I wanted to THROTTLE the idiocy out of them!"
"‘Tis to be expected," said Rikad in consolation. "A great many noble families, even entire Realms at times, came about their status through force of arms or magical prowess, and thus they hold a dim view of commerce as a profession. It is a routine chore for us, navigating around them to find those with less absolutist views on the worth of goods, or more forgiving definitions of 'honest work'. An Adjacent Realm that does not cheat its creditors by altering the weight of its coins or debasing them with base metals and insisting otherwise while hiding behind the safety of their portal is worth its weight in gold."
"Sometimes I feel we ought to cut them out of our affairs entirely and deal with the Nexians, directly and exclusively," mused Etholin bitterly.
"Now, now, though your anger is justified, that's hardly reason for it to take hold of your mind's rudder," cautioned Rikad with a frown. "The Nexians have well-developed philosophies on trade in line with our own, but we only have the resources of a single Realm at our disposal, while the Nexians can leverage the bounty of their never-ending and mana-rich lands. Dealing solely with a behemoth that can devour us with a thought, no matter how frictionless those dealings are, is hardly my idea of a beneficial partnership."
Etholin sighed. "As always, your counsel is sensible, Uncle. Like I said, I lost the reins of my temper in a moment of weakness."
"Don't be so sour on things like this, lad. Our base nature gets the better of us at times, that is the animal within that we all struggle with. That you acknowledged such a lapse and took back the helm is proof that civility prevails. But, enough moping about!" Rikad jumped out of his seat with a little pep in his step. "Looks like we need to guide you back into good spirits, and I know JUST the thing for gentlemen such as us," concluded the elder merchant, twirling his whiskers playfully.
"Somehow I think a night at the theater or music halls will do little for me, Uncle. Or are you suggesting we seek respite at the bottom of a tankard?"
Rikad snorted derisively. "Oh please, I'm not senile yet, pup! Since when has SPENDING money brought joy to anyone worthy of the Esila name?" That made Elothin perk up a bit. Rikad continued, "No, I speak of a PROPER good time, I speak of..."
"COMMERCE!" they cried out in unison, fists held aloft in a triumphant pose. "Does that mean..." began Etholin.
"Indeed, we've just received the latest prototypes for the centralized mana ampoule, linking cords, and so-called 'mana motors'. Perfectly timed with the parts delivery from Cadet Booker not two days ago. Sukie, be a dear and clear this up, and have the remainder bundled up and sent to the young master's rooms at the Academy." Rikad motioned for the housekeepers to clear the table, then ushered Etholin to his private offices where they could discuss business strategy in depth.
Uncle Rikad’s offices were more than just a cozy place where Etholin could get a taste of home. Officially, Rikad was stationed here to oversee the administration of this branch office of the Ocean Breeze Trading Company. In reality, the office was a means to circumvent the Academy's prohibition against students communicating regularly with their home realm. Many aristocratic families employed similar cheats and dodges involving ‘familial duties’ and ‘business obligations’ to skirt the rules. If the Nexians cared about closing such loopholes, they didn’t show it. Perhaps the quaint maneuverings of their lessers amused the elves, who could say?
In this case, Rikad and Etholin were leveraging this loophole to the fullest, as they strategized on how to execute the next steps of their latest commercial venture, which Rikad would then relay to the head offices in Rontalis. As their planning session drew to a close, Rikad remarked on the time. “Well, it would seem that evening has fast become night. You are welcome to stay overnight here, as always, or perhaps you would prefer to retire to the Academy dormitories? Either way, I doubt you’d want to watch an old man doze off in his reading room listening to music.”
At the mention of leisure time, Etholin's eyes widened in surprise, and he began rooting around in his satchel. "Oh goodness, I entirely forgot!"
"What is it, lad?"
"Oh, Cadet Booker has provided us with more of her 'video archive files', transcribed to memory crystal," explained Etholin as he produced the set of crystals from his satchel, perfectly sized for the compact projection device that Rikad kept in his rooms.
"Ah, splendid! Another of the young lady's documentary presentations on commerce? Or perhaps one of her theatrical serials? Both are fine ways to while away the night."
“I’m not sure, but Cadet Booker said we would enjoy them a great deal,” said Etholin as he placed the crystal into the office's projector. As the machine spooled up, a moving image was cast onto the whitewashed wall across the room. As with all Earthrealm recordings, it was entirely mundane, bereft of any sign of manafields. Compared to mana based memory shards, Earthrealm recordings felt like faded sketches. None of that hindered the recording's impact on the viewers.
"Hoh? This is-" exclaimed Rikad, eyes lighting up in recognition.
An Earthrealmer with a thick, lustrous beard strode into view, his confidence and enthusiasm palpable despite the muted colors of the recording. The Earthrealmer’s voice rang out from the projector, carrying that same confidence and infectious enthusiasm like a barker worthy of the title of Grand Master.
Rikad and Etholin cheered in unison.
"HI! BILLY MAYS HERE, WITH ANOTHER GREAT PRODUCT!"
2024.06.01 14:54 ParticularlyAvocado Teen Titans Reviewed: Every Episode
1. Divide and Conquer - 4/5 (Slapper intro. Pretty good for a pilot episode, but it felt like they rushed into character drama a little too quickly. Like, I only JUST now met Robin and Cyborg for the first time, so this big breakup doesn't really hit as hard as I imagine it could had it been a later episode. The animation of this show is very fun and different from typical action cartoons, though. Stuff like the characters turning into chibis and going horrendeously off-model for gags is great stuff.)
2. Sisters - 3/5 (Immediately more character conflict and drama. I'd say this one works a little better, but again, I only really now just met Starfire, so there's not a hugely established friendship between her and the Titans enough yet. On the other hand, perhaps that's for this episode's benefit, as it's about her feeling replacable, which would not be very realistic after having been established as BFFs for several seasons. And I did think her and Robin's chat was really sweet, so whatever. Also, Blackfire is just a color swap of Starfire. Sunny Tennyson much?)
3. Final Exam - 4/5 (So this episode was the first to air, but is not the "real" pilot. Strangely enough, it would almost have worked better as a pilot, since it introduces the characters in their HQ immediately followed by showing how they work as a team. The H.I.V.E. aren't the most interesting villains but Gizmo was pretty amusing. What was with the lighting in the scene where they get out of the water though? Looked strange.)
4. Forces of Nature - 4/5 (Thunder's Sonic eyes is freaking me out. Please separate them... Anyway, decent episode, even if it's mostly just Thunder and Lightning wreaking havoc and getting moral lessons from Beast Boy.)
5. The Sum of His Parts - 5/5 (Fixit. Wow, clever name. Sarcasm aside, pretty great episode. It's interesting to see Cyborg's abilities explored, and the eerieniess of Fixit about to forcibly make him a full robot was highly engaging. Although while that IS the main story, the majority of this episode is spent with the other Titans fighting Mumbo Jumbo for some reason. Not that it's back, since I liked the zany wackiness of it. But it definitely didn't need take up that much time. Also, he briefly became a Canadian from South Park.)
6. Nevermore - 4/5 (Thunder and Lightning, Mumbo Jumbo, and now Doctor Light? So far this show has had really lame villains. Not that it's a huge detriment, because unlike other superhero cartoons, the focus in most episodes seem to be more on the inner workings of the Titans themselves as opposed to whatever villain they're facing, so I guess they just pick goofy ones to jumpstart the actual plots. Which in this episode was pretty amusing. Raven's a lot more mellow than her appearance would let on. I thought she would nearly murder Cyborg and Beast Boy for breaking into her room, but she was just slightly upset. Oh and, uh, what was up with intro being in Japanese?)
7. Switched - 4/5 (Just as I mentioned the villains being "lame" in the last episode, I thought Puppet King was pretty interesting. He's not like, compelling as a character or anything, but I found the puppet schtick fairly amusing to watch. As for the actual story, while "body swap" is not the most original idea for these kinds of shows, I still found it endearing how Raven and Starfire learned about one another. But the fact that they still keep their voices makes me go grrr.)
8. Deep Six - 3/5 (There's that Japanese intro again! Apparently it's used for episodes that are more comedic, while the English is for the "serious" ones. Guess I'll see if that assessment holds up under scrutiny. So this is mostly an underwater episode, which, while not a bad setting by default, feels pretty uninspired when it's nothing but blue backgrounds and rocks. Raven horning for Aqualad sure was a sight to behold, though. Felt a bit out of character.)
9. Masks - 4/5 (Wow, Red X was Robin? No way. It's not like they had the exact same voice or anything. Anyway, as good as this episode might be, it's really just some setup for Slade's schemes, which is really only vaguely hinted at whatever it is. As a result, I don't really have much to say. Starfire's lecture about Robin not trusting them was a bit "wha" though, because, yeah, if they knew Red X was Robin, they would've held back, and it would not be convincing.)
10. Mad Mod - 3/5 (Sheesh, this episode hurts my eyes. It's a funny one, though. And it has the Japanese intro, so I guess that fact about it was true. It's nothing but the Titans chasing some Brit for the entire episode. 20 minutes of pure zaniness. And Mad Mod was a pretty amusing gag villain. I also really liked the song "K2G" that played during that Scooby-Doo parody montage.)
11. Car Trouble - 3/5 (Gizmo drove away with Cyborg's car JUST as he arrived to confront the guys who initially stole it. He would have been right in the vicinity of it, how did he not notice it driving away? LOL. Also why do the two crooks calmly tiptoe around and vaguely say they "lost it" instead of just "some guy drove away with it right behind you like 10 seconds ago!".)
12/13. Apprentice - 5/5 (Slade merely wanting an apprentice is a bit of a confusing motivation. Like, for what purpose? Once he's fully molded Robin, what does he intend to do next? Take over the world? Not that it matters, since the conflict of Robin having to betray his friends to save their lives was thrilling enough. Although part 2 is obviously the better half, because the first is mostly just setup for that. Robin also makes a sick Batman reference, but can't directly mention him because of the Bat-embargo. LOL. Side note, the effect of the probes being the characters becoming...orange with a buncha circles wiggling around them was odd.)
14. How Long is Forever? - 5/5 (Robin just brooding in front of the speakers was funny. LOL. Anyway, the way time travel is handled here is confusing. I suppose it always is, but here it seems to function so that during the period Starfire was travelling 20 years, she simply did not exist during them. But she came back to the past in the end, meaning historically, she always returned. So instead of time travel looping around itself, I guess in this series when you travel, you're just gone. And if you return, the timeline you go back to will be a completely different one. That aside, it was neat to see the future Titans, although sheesh my guy Beast Boy aged horribly. And I find it hard to believe the entire city would become a dystopia like this, considering the Titans aren't the only heroes around.)
15. Every Dog Has His Day - 5/5 (Pretty solid for a zany comedy episode. Beast Boy becoming a dog to get bitches (pun intended) was funny. And the whole schtick of the Titans mistaking an actual green dog for him lent itself to a lot of good comedy. The reveal that that the dog is actually intelligent and can speak sort of "ruins" what made that aspect funny in the first place, but it doesn't affect the episode's quality or anything, so that's just a nitpick. Soto was pretty freaky though. Reminded me of Tiny from Ben 10.)
16. Terra - 4/5 (Yikes, Terra is scrawny. She's like a walking stick. I guess she has earth powers, although it's not really explored how or why. Though, at this point in the show, I've obviously learned that stuff is not something it prioritizes. Anyway, this episode is very good, but it's mostly just introduction to Terra and then a teaser that she is Slade's new apprentice victim. I'm interested for where that goes, but I don't have much else to say about this one specifically.)
17. Only Human - 4/5 (Not to go all Facts & Logic:tm:, but humans also have a limit to which they can use their muscles, so on a technical sense, Cyborg's conflict in this episode doesn't make much sense. Especially since he exceeds 100% by the end anyway, showing it was always possible. Not to diminish the story or anything, because I did find his conflict around it genuinely engaging. And the moment when he rises up to the challenge to actually beat Atlas is obviously very cathartic and rewarding. But also LOL that Atlas picked a beef with Cyborg over losing in a video game.)
18. Fear Itself - 4/5 (Here I spent the entire episode expecting the "obvious" reveal that everything scary that happened was a prank by the Titans to prove to Raven that she can be scared. Guess I was a little overconfident in that since it turns out she was just accidentally doing it herself.)
19. Date with Destiny - 4/5 (Hey, it's Spider-Man. I mean, Fang. That was a pretty freaky character design. Just a guy with a huge spider as his entire head. This episode felt like it ramped up the wacky animation to 11, particularly with nearly every motion Kitten makes. And that bit with Starfire's mouth falling into the punch stuck out, too. That aside, pretty cute episode. Starfire's jealousy is amusing.)
20. Transformation - 3/5 (Does the Titan Tower only have bathroom? That's ridiculous. It's huge! Anyway, not to complain about power inconsistency or whatever, but Starfire being able to instantly fly several hundred thousand kilometers away from Earth pretty much instantly, not to mention be able to breathe in space is a bit excessive. She's not Green Lantern... That aside, this was alright. It's neat to find out more about Tamaranians, but Starfire has already learned the "my friends will like me no matter what" lesson before.)
21. Titan Rising - 4/5 (Why is Raven so pissy at Terra? Like, I know she's moody and has a low temper, but raging at someone just trying their best? A bit out of character. That said, I still enjoyed the rivarly. I like Terra on the team. It's fun that they're expanding the roster.)
22. Winner Take All - 3/5 (Why does the Master of Games need people to lose a battle before he can absorb them and their powers? Why doesn't he just do it to all of them on the spot? I found it funny that Beast Boy lost the first round. When the episode began I was expecting some epic final battle between the three main characters. But nope, he just loses and is gone for the rest of the episode.)
23. Betrayal - 4/5 (That was a bit of a rushed betrayal. Terra is introduced in one episode, instantly leaves within the same one, makes a big comeback 4 episodes later, and betrays them in the very next while it's treated like some devastating loss to the team. Well, there is the game episode in between. But also she isn't even in that save for a silent cameo in one shot in the end, so that barely counts! That said I still liked the emotional beats of the story from Beast Boy's perspective and such, so I'm not hating on how this was done. I just think this could've meant more if she actually was a member of the Titans for the episodes leading up to this betrayal. On a lighter note, I liked Beast Boy's theatrical scenarios of how he should have asked her out.)
24. Fractured - 3/5 (So in-between the previous, serious, dramatic episode, and the upcoming 2-part finale which will obviously be about Terra, they felt they needed an episode about some annoying imp doing zany nonsense. Not that the show is a stranger to that stuff, but this wasn't nearly as charming as Mad Mod.)
25/26. Aftershock - 4/5 (Pretty standard "epic finale" fare, but obviously it's good because I liked this Terra arc, as rushed as it may have been. Her turning on Slade and even being the one who ends up killing him was pretty thrilling stuff. I didn't think they'd actually go that far, considering he's like the main villain of the series. But while that final battle between Beast Boy and Terra was pretty great due to the resonance and such it contains, I feel like the episode took up a lot of time having the Titans fight various miscellaneous characters leading up to it, that just wasn't as interesting. Side note, Raven and Terra just being colored completely brown to simulate being muddy stuck out to me. I don't know why. Mainly because most shows would draw wiggly lines to simulate the muddiness, not just one blank color.)
27. Deception - 4/5 (I know this show is episodic so stuff like this is bound to happen, but it is a bit eyerolling that characters seem to just learn the same lessons over and over. Like in this episode, Cyborg is beating himself up over being a cyborg, but by the end he accepts himself the way he is. A lesson he has learned in 2 episodes prior to this already. Not that I didn't think it was well done. His chat with Starfire was sweet, and the whole thing about him being undercover was entertaining too, so it's not much of an issue.)
28. X - 4/5 (So some guy steals Robin's Red X costume and takes up the mantle... But he also conveniently sounds exactly like Robin? Sure, because THAT makes sense. For the most part this episode is just baiting you into wanting to know who Red X is, but then NEVER answers it. Pretty rude. Nevertheless, it was still interesting. Also Professor Chang's design reminds me of Inspector 13 from Ben 10.)
29. Betrothed - 3/5 (Titans just casually flying to another planet like it's a mere road trip. OK. Is The Batman funding this or what? Also, that scene of Robin outside the spaceship made me LOL. Anyway it's interesting to see Tamaran thoroughly explored upon and such, but it's a bit absurd that every single person on the planet wears basically the exact same outfit.)
30. Crash - 4/5 (Cyborg's cybernetic features are confusing. Firstly, how could a digital virus affect his brain, which is clearly a biological component? Second, how and why are there red blood cells flowing in the "veins" of his mechanical parts? Nitpicking logic in a goofy joke episode aside, this was great stuff. I liked that they had to reluctantly get Gizmo to help, and Cyborg going nuts was just entertaining in its own right. I think the interior of his cybernetic parts were interestingly designed, and Beast Boy as an amoeba is just absurd but fun. Although it's inconsistent that he's able to talk while in that form, since he can't when he's any other animal.)
31. Haunted - 5/5 (This was pretty grim, but very thrilling. Given Slade was established as like the main villain of the show, even though it seemed obvious he was imaginary, I kept asking myself if he was actually real or not to come capacity, since I doubt the series would get rid of its main villain that easily. And well, they DID imply somebody else activated the hallucination chemical from the mask, so, like, yeah, he's clearly coming back. That said, if it was all in Robin's head, how did he get all those bruises and rips in his clothes? By punching the air? And why did Beast Boy have a cold in this episode? I guess they needed some comedic relief so it wouldn't be too grim for Cartoon Network.)
32. Spellbound - 4/5 ("Kardiak, you're under arrest". I get it. Because he is a heart. Pretty amusing. Anyway, yikes, Beast Boy sure was mean for NO reason. But the way they made up in the end with Raven even joining him and Cyborg's game of "stankball" was cute. As for Malchior, well, I thought he was a girl until he spoke.)
33. Revolution - 3/5 (Pretty much a rehash of the first Mad Mod episode. He has the Titans trapped in a maze of illusions and they chase him around and defeat him. Which I get is the whole gimmick since he's just a joke villain, so yeah. This was good, but not AS good. The pop-art backgrounds were pretty cool, and I liked how the British flag was the sky in the background the entire time. Plus, British Beast Boy was funny. The "message" about patriotism, democracy or whatever, felt a but muddled.)
34. Wavelength - 3/5 (I guess Brother Blood is growing to be Cyborg's arch nemesis or something. This was pretty average, so I barely got anything to say. Aqualad asks for help, so they take down Blood's underwater weapon and...Yeah. But I liked Bumblebee, and her fight scene with Cyborg had a lot of funny visuals. The bit where he shuts the door on her was amusing too.)
35. The Beast Within - 5/5 (This was great. You'd think it would be fairly predictable to tell a werewolf story with Beast Boy, but the execution really makes it work. Yeah, it's obvious he's acting strange because of the chemicals from the beginning. But his gradual shift from acting macho, to asshole, to picking a physical fight with Raven for NO reason was interesting because of how bizarrely out of character it is. Especially when his "beast" form took the Raven beef to the next level. But on top of that I especially enjoyed the twist that the Adonis guy from the beginning was a second werewolf, and the actual culprit. Robin seemed awfully quick to immediately lock Beast Boy away or straight up murder him though. For a guy who himself was blackmailed into being evil, you'd think he would be more considerate to other possibilities.)
36. Can I Keep Him? - 3/5 (This was alright. Pretty simple concept for a comedy episode is all. Beast Boy fosters a giant maggot and then it becomes bigger and dangerous. Kind of amusing how Starfire got more attached to it in like a day than Beast Boy did while hiding it for months. As a sode note, I liked the design of Rancids robot dog and dinosaur.)
37. Bunny Raven... or ...How to Make A Titananimal Disappear - 3/5 (Pretty good for a zany episode. The Titans as animals were amusing designs, and Beast Boy becoming a lamp instead was funny. Mumbo's song was catchy.)
38/39. Titans East - 4/5 (I like the concept of Titans East, although the only member I find particularly interesting is Bumblebee. I'm always fond of shrinking abilities for the potential practical uses that often go unacknowledged. She never really does anything with it besides shoot some lasers in the bad guys face, though. Speedy and Aqualad are kind of generic, and Más y Menos are just gag characters, so yeah. Cyborg's conflict here was pretty interesting, but the way he gets decapitated piece by piece was pretty brutal. But him sticking it to Brother Blood was pretty awesome, and I liked the sweet ending where he decides to stick with the Titans.)
40. Episode 257-494 - 3/5 (Steve Irwin gets mauled by a bear. Anyway, this episode is decent, but it's just an endless stream of references to other things, many of which I am not familiar with, so even as a comedy episode, a lot of the jokes don't work very well. That woman from the lame soap opera was still with Cyborg in the real world by the end because THAT makes sense. But it was funny.)
41. The Quest - 4/5 (Yeah, it was pretty obvious the old lady was the great master. Robin going through challenges was pretty entertaining though, but that snake one... He won by merely grabbing the snake? Sure, okay. The rest of the team dressing up as and pretending to be Robin was probably the best part, especially even Raven joining in.)
42. Birthmark - 4/5 (Welcome back, Slade. This was a very thrilling episode. Really just has you asking tons of questions. Like how is Slade back, why is he targeting Raven now, etc. But also, it was interesting how this potrays Robin and Raven as having a very close friendship. I mean I guess all the Titans are good friends, but these two haven't been explored as a duo at all, so it was interesting, if not a bit awkward.)
43. Cyborg the Barbarian - 4/5 (Silly concept, but I like it. Though given how time travel has been established in this show, Cyborg can't really do anything to affect the future, because everything he will do has already happened in the past. I like the design of the demon... Thingies)
44. Employee of the Month - 4/5 (I found it interesting how this acknowledges Beast Boy a physical task, as opposed to Raven or Starfire's breezy levitating. Beast Boy working at a meat shop itself was pretty funny, and the Tofu villain in the end sells the whole thing for me. LOL.)
45. Troq - 3/5 (The racism episode. The fact that we know what word "troq" is supposed to represent makes it very weird how often we see it used. I mean imagine an episode where they used the actual word this much... Yeah. I think this is pretty well done and what not in terms of being sweet and emotional, especially Cyborg's talk with Starfire and Robin instantly changing his mind on Val-Yor once he finds out. But the action plot they wrapped all this around didn't really have me hooked, and it's a pretty big chunk of the episode.)
46. The Prophecy - 3/5 (This is neat and all, but for the most part it really feels like nothing but setup for a grander plot than something to stand on its own. So while I'm sure the context of this will make the season finale more rewarding, this is just okay. I did get a kick out of Raven pulling up Slade as he was trying to leave just to jerk him around a little.)
47. Stranded - 4/5 (This is a fun episode, but it has one of the worst common TV tropes of all time; Character refusing to explain an easily explainable situation this creating conflict because of misunderstanding. I mean, yeah, Starfire DID describe what a "girlfriend" was, but then she just described what could also be platonic. Robin could have easily explained to her that there's a difference between platonic and romantic.)
48. Overdrive - 3/5 (I like the Billy Numerous theme music, but that's about it really.)
49. Mother Mae-Eye - 3/5 (Well, funny at times, I'll give it that. But ehhhh. Yeah, I don't know, there isn't much to be said here. Liked the scene where Robin spiked up his hair.)
50/51/52. The End - 5/5 (Yeah, pretty epic. The Titans using Raven's power was also cool. I was hoping to finally see Slade's face when his mask was knocked off, but I suppose a creepy half decomposed skeleton is also interesting... Don't really understand Trigon's motivation for, well, all of this though. He wants to take over the Earth and get rid of all life on it, just so he can sit in a giant chair and relax? I mean, the real story here is supposed to be about Raven, so I know it doesn't matter, but that's pretty thin for what's supposed to be the most threatening villain of the show to date.)
53/54. Homecoming - 3/5 (I love specific character focused episode where we see something more personal to them, but Beast Boy's background isn't that interesting and most of the team besides Elastigirl weren't very interesting. But I do find Negative Man's powers cool. Brain is a pretty cool villain too, I love his voice, really intimidating vibes. How are any of the Doom Patrol alive after what happened though? Never explained)
55. Trust - 4/5 (An entire Hot Spot episode? Interesting, since I always find it fun when shows divert from the main cast. Overall fun, but that ending was pretty frustrating though. Hot Spot was so obviously Madame Rouge!)
56. For Real - 3/5 (I do like the Titans East, but this was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a genuine episode in their own town, seeing their feats as a team and friends, as opposed to goofing off with Control Freak. Also one of the villains Brain had lined up two episodes ago is in jail here?? Were Más y Menos permanently translated to English for the audience to understand them? I mean I guess I prefer it, since having them two speaking what sounds like gibberish to the rest of the team makes it hard for them to appear as genuine friends, especially since they're mostly attached to each other as opposed to the whole team.)
57. Snowblind - 4/5 (Already loved Red Star and then he's immediately killed before my eyes!! Whyyyy! I was hoping he would gain control of his powers and aid the Titans. How has he still been getting tanks to fill up with radioactive liquid for so many decades though? And that's a pretty small room for two tanks a day over the span of decades.)
58. Kole - 3/5 (This entire season so far the Titans have just been around the world, given last time they were in what appears to be Russia, and now it's somewhere in Scandinavia. It's been an interesting change of pace, sure, but this episode wasn't terribly interesting. They meet some caveman with a little girl, Dr. Light is up to no good, etc.)
59. Hide and Seek - 3/5 (Bobby turning out to be real was a pretty fun "twist". Got dragged out for a while though.)
60. Lightspeed - 4/5 (Another non-Titan focused episode. Kid Flash is randomly horning on Jinx because why not, I guess? This Jinx redemption came out of absolutely nowhere, given how little we've seen of her prior. But Kid Flash is fun, so whatever.)
61. Revved Up - 3/5 (This episode is neat, but given how they are racing for the entirety of it, the constant action was pretty exhausting to sit through. Why did Raven sneezing and Starfire saying the Tamaranean equivalent of "bless you" inform all the villains they are Titans though? Also, infuriating we never got to see what's in the briefcase.)
62. Go! - 5/5 (Love seeing the origins of the team, though it's pretty oddly convenient that these 5 superpowered people (well 4 with powers) just so happened to stumble upon each other, same day, same time, same situation. I imagine shortly after this they occasionally stumbled upon each other trying to fight the same bad guy every so often and decided to start a team. Which would have been more realistic for their first interactions, not all 5 meeting at once. Pretty on the nose Batman reference but they still absolutely refuse to mention Batman.)
63/64. Calling All Titans!/Titans Together - 5/5 (Why is Beast Boy climbing up the mountain as a goat instead of just... Flying? This was quite the epic episode, I enjoyted the intensity of seeing nearly every hero be ambushed separately by different villains. It's a bit strange for the final part to mostly be from Beast Boy's perspective, and with the strange heroes he ends up meeting. I was expecting to see how the rest of the Titans made it to the Brotherhood of Evil base, but it's probably better this way, since it leaves it up to imagination, and it doesn't really matter. Seeing the brain finally defeated when all heroes went into battle was satisfying. Jericho's powers were pretty cool.)
65. Things Change - 4/5 (The amount of quiet and awkward scenes with that sad music was... Well, very strange. The whole Terra thing is a bit weird like, sure, if someone you don't know jumps up to you, acts as if they know you and tells you you've gotten amnesia, you'd think they were insane. But Beast Boy surely has photo proof? Or if not, he could get testimony from the rest of his team?? No??? It doesn't have to jog her memory back, but at the very least she'd realize the truth and know who she was instead of just being so vague and saying cryptic things. Some things she said implied perhaps she did know, because any real person would just yell out the weirdo stalking them, not give emotional speeches about the girl you once knew being gone etc. But all that aside, why did Slade send a robot out just to tell Beast Boy that he had nothing to do with what's happened to Terra? Also, that creatures ability to turn himself into any matter he touches is really cool.)
Movie: Trouble in Tokyo - 3/5 (This has pretty much one of the things I dislike most about movies based on TV shows; Instead of actually focusing on the iconic aspects of the series in question, it goes out of it's way to be as far removed from it as possible by setting it in a whole other country. Bummer, because an ideal Titans movie would really focus on the whole team, and THEIR city. Instead, they're just in Tokyo stopping a corrupt commander (who I knew was gonna be the bad guy from the get-go) who's creating crimes to be a hero. And the thing is with these kind of movies is, perhaps if they actually did focus on the characters relationships, it would be good. But instead they are mostly separated the entire time, just goofing off. And cue the obligatory relationship between Robin and Starfire. I mean, it was obviously going to happen, so it's not as if I mind it, but the drama feels pretty forced. They're heroes, yes, but they lounge around and take time off all the time when criminals aren't around. There really isn't much more to say about this. High-tier average. Although, admittedly, I was finding myself ready to close my eyes and fall asleep nearing the hour mark.)
-The Lost Episode - 3/5 (It's half the length of a normal episode, so it's hard to judge it, given it's not even serious at all. A fun little watch, for sure. Beast Boy walking around with a boombox on his shoulders was funny because of how dated it is.)
-New Teen Titans Shorts (Can't really rate them since they're just shorts, but here's a few throwaway thoughts: I like the artstyle. The lowercase T tower is a funny visual gag. Was Blackfire just killed? So, they finally actually showed Batman on screen (technically)? The hell was up with Cyborg's voice in one of these?)
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2. Sisters - 3/5 (Immediately more character conflict and drama. I'd say this one works a little better, but again, I only really now just met Starfire, so there's not a hugely established friendship between her and the Titans enough yet. On the other hand, perhaps that's for this episode's benefit, as it's about her feeling replacable, which would not be very realistic after having been established as BFFs for several seasons. And I did think her and Robin's chat was really sweet, so whatever. Also, Blackfire is just a color swap of Starfire. Sunny Tennyson much?)
3. Final Exam - 4/5 (So this episode was the first to air, but is not the "real" pilot. Strangely enough, it would almost have worked better as a pilot, since it introduces the characters in their HQ immediately followed by showing how they work as a team. The H.I.V.E. aren't the most interesting villains but Gizmo was pretty amusing. What was with the lighting in the scene where they get out of the water though? Looked strange.)
4. Forces of Nature - 4/5 (Thunder's Sonic eyes is freaking me out. Please separate them... Anyway, decent episode, even if it's mostly just Thunder and Lightning wreaking havoc and getting moral lessons from Beast Boy.)
5. The Sum of His Parts - 5/5 (Fixit. Wow, clever name. Sarcasm aside, pretty great episode. It's interesting to see Cyborg's abilities explored, and the eerieniess of Fixit about to forcibly make him a full robot was highly engaging. Although while that IS the main story, the majority of this episode is spent with the other Titans fighting Mumbo Jumbo for some reason. Not that it's back, since I liked the zany wackiness of it. But it definitely didn't need take up that much time. Also, he briefly became a Canadian from South Park.)
6. Nevermore - 4/5 (Thunder and Lightning, Mumbo Jumbo, and now Doctor Light? So far this show has had really lame villains. Not that it's a huge detriment, because unlike other superhero cartoons, the focus in most episodes seem to be more on the inner workings of the Titans themselves as opposed to whatever villain they're facing, so I guess they just pick goofy ones to jumpstart the actual plots. Which in this episode was pretty amusing. Raven's a lot more mellow than her appearance would let on. I thought she would nearly murder Cyborg and Beast Boy for breaking into her room, but she was just slightly upset. Oh and, uh, what was up with intro being in Japanese?)
7. Switched - 4/5 (Just as I mentioned the villains being "lame" in the last episode, I thought Puppet King was pretty interesting. He's not like, compelling as a character or anything, but I found the puppet schtick fairly amusing to watch. As for the actual story, while "body swap" is not the most original idea for these kinds of shows, I still found it endearing how Raven and Starfire learned about one another. But the fact that they still keep their voices makes me go grrr.)
8. Deep Six - 3/5 (There's that Japanese intro again! Apparently it's used for episodes that are more comedic, while the English is for the "serious" ones. Guess I'll see if that assessment holds up under scrutiny. So this is mostly an underwater episode, which, while not a bad setting by default, feels pretty uninspired when it's nothing but blue backgrounds and rocks. Raven horning for Aqualad sure was a sight to behold, though. Felt a bit out of character.)
9. Masks - 4/5 (Wow, Red X was Robin? No way. It's not like they had the exact same voice or anything. Anyway, as good as this episode might be, it's really just some setup for Slade's schemes, which is really only vaguely hinted at whatever it is. As a result, I don't really have much to say. Starfire's lecture about Robin not trusting them was a bit "wha" though, because, yeah, if they knew Red X was Robin, they would've held back, and it would not be convincing.)
10. Mad Mod - 3/5 (Sheesh, this episode hurts my eyes. It's a funny one, though. And it has the Japanese intro, so I guess that fact about it was true. It's nothing but the Titans chasing some Brit for the entire episode. 20 minutes of pure zaniness. And Mad Mod was a pretty amusing gag villain. I also really liked the song "K2G" that played during that Scooby-Doo parody montage.)
11. Car Trouble - 3/5 (Gizmo drove away with Cyborg's car JUST as he arrived to confront the guys who initially stole it. He would have been right in the vicinity of it, how did he not notice it driving away? LOL. Also why do the two crooks calmly tiptoe around and vaguely say they "lost it" instead of just "some guy drove away with it right behind you like 10 seconds ago!".)
12/13. Apprentice - 5/5 (Slade merely wanting an apprentice is a bit of a confusing motivation. Like, for what purpose? Once he's fully molded Robin, what does he intend to do next? Take over the world? Not that it matters, since the conflict of Robin having to betray his friends to save their lives was thrilling enough. Although part 2 is obviously the better half, because the first is mostly just setup for that. Robin also makes a sick Batman reference, but can't directly mention him because of the Bat-embargo. LOL. Side note, the effect of the probes being the characters becoming...orange with a buncha circles wiggling around them was odd.)
14. How Long is Forever? - 5/5 (Robin just brooding in front of the speakers was funny. LOL. Anyway, the way time travel is handled here is confusing. I suppose it always is, but here it seems to function so that during the period Starfire was travelling 20 years, she simply did not exist during them. But she came back to the past in the end, meaning historically, she always returned. So instead of time travel looping around itself, I guess in this series when you travel, you're just gone. And if you return, the timeline you go back to will be a completely different one. That aside, it was neat to see the future Titans, although sheesh my guy Beast Boy aged horribly. And I find it hard to believe the entire city would become a dystopia like this, considering the Titans aren't the only heroes around.)
15. Every Dog Has His Day - 5/5 (Pretty solid for a zany comedy episode. Beast Boy becoming a dog to get bitches (pun intended) was funny. And the whole schtick of the Titans mistaking an actual green dog for him lent itself to a lot of good comedy. The reveal that that the dog is actually intelligent and can speak sort of "ruins" what made that aspect funny in the first place, but it doesn't affect the episode's quality or anything, so that's just a nitpick. Soto was pretty freaky though. Reminded me of Tiny from Ben 10.)
16. Terra - 4/5 (Yikes, Terra is scrawny. She's like a walking stick. I guess she has earth powers, although it's not really explored how or why. Though, at this point in the show, I've obviously learned that stuff is not something it prioritizes. Anyway, this episode is very good, but it's mostly just introduction to Terra and then a teaser that she is Slade's new apprentice victim. I'm interested for where that goes, but I don't have much else to say about this one specifically.)
17. Only Human - 4/5 (Not to go all Facts & Logic:tm:, but humans also have a limit to which they can use their muscles, so on a technical sense, Cyborg's conflict in this episode doesn't make much sense. Especially since he exceeds 100% by the end anyway, showing it was always possible. Not to diminish the story or anything, because I did find his conflict around it genuinely engaging. And the moment when he rises up to the challenge to actually beat Atlas is obviously very cathartic and rewarding. But also LOL that Atlas picked a beef with Cyborg over losing in a video game.)
18. Fear Itself - 4/5 (Here I spent the entire episode expecting the "obvious" reveal that everything scary that happened was a prank by the Titans to prove to Raven that she can be scared. Guess I was a little overconfident in that since it turns out she was just accidentally doing it herself.)
19. Date with Destiny - 4/5 (Hey, it's Spider-Man. I mean, Fang. That was a pretty freaky character design. Just a guy with a huge spider as his entire head. This episode felt like it ramped up the wacky animation to 11, particularly with nearly every motion Kitten makes. And that bit with Starfire's mouth falling into the punch stuck out, too. That aside, pretty cute episode. Starfire's jealousy is amusing.)
20. Transformation - 3/5 (Does the Titan Tower only have bathroom? That's ridiculous. It's huge! Anyway, not to complain about power inconsistency or whatever, but Starfire being able to instantly fly several hundred thousand kilometers away from Earth pretty much instantly, not to mention be able to breathe in space is a bit excessive. She's not Green Lantern... That aside, this was alright. It's neat to find out more about Tamaranians, but Starfire has already learned the "my friends will like me no matter what" lesson before.)
21. Titan Rising - 4/5 (Why is Raven so pissy at Terra? Like, I know she's moody and has a low temper, but raging at someone just trying their best? A bit out of character. That said, I still enjoyed the rivarly. I like Terra on the team. It's fun that they're expanding the roster.)
22. Winner Take All - 3/5 (Why does the Master of Games need people to lose a battle before he can absorb them and their powers? Why doesn't he just do it to all of them on the spot? I found it funny that Beast Boy lost the first round. When the episode began I was expecting some epic final battle between the three main characters. But nope, he just loses and is gone for the rest of the episode.)
23. Betrayal - 4/5 (That was a bit of a rushed betrayal. Terra is introduced in one episode, instantly leaves within the same one, makes a big comeback 4 episodes later, and betrays them in the very next while it's treated like some devastating loss to the team. Well, there is the game episode in between. But also she isn't even in that save for a silent cameo in one shot in the end, so that barely counts! That said I still liked the emotional beats of the story from Beast Boy's perspective and such, so I'm not hating on how this was done. I just think this could've meant more if she actually was a member of the Titans for the episodes leading up to this betrayal. On a lighter note, I liked Beast Boy's theatrical scenarios of how he should have asked her out.)
24. Fractured - 3/5 (So in-between the previous, serious, dramatic episode, and the upcoming 2-part finale which will obviously be about Terra, they felt they needed an episode about some annoying imp doing zany nonsense. Not that the show is a stranger to that stuff, but this wasn't nearly as charming as Mad Mod.)
25/26. Aftershock - 4/5 (Pretty standard "epic finale" fare, but obviously it's good because I liked this Terra arc, as rushed as it may have been. Her turning on Slade and even being the one who ends up killing him was pretty thrilling stuff. I didn't think they'd actually go that far, considering he's like the main villain of the series. But while that final battle between Beast Boy and Terra was pretty great due to the resonance and such it contains, I feel like the episode took up a lot of time having the Titans fight various miscellaneous characters leading up to it, that just wasn't as interesting. Side note, Raven and Terra just being colored completely brown to simulate being muddy stuck out to me. I don't know why. Mainly because most shows would draw wiggly lines to simulate the muddiness, not just one blank color.)
27. Deception - 4/5 (I know this show is episodic so stuff like this is bound to happen, but it is a bit eyerolling that characters seem to just learn the same lessons over and over. Like in this episode, Cyborg is beating himself up over being a cyborg, but by the end he accepts himself the way he is. A lesson he has learned in 2 episodes prior to this already. Not that I didn't think it was well done. His chat with Starfire was sweet, and the whole thing about him being undercover was entertaining too, so it's not much of an issue.)
28. X - 4/5 (So some guy steals Robin's Red X costume and takes up the mantle... But he also conveniently sounds exactly like Robin? Sure, because THAT makes sense. For the most part this episode is just baiting you into wanting to know who Red X is, but then NEVER answers it. Pretty rude. Nevertheless, it was still interesting. Also Professor Chang's design reminds me of Inspector 13 from Ben 10.)
29. Betrothed - 3/5 (Titans just casually flying to another planet like it's a mere road trip. OK. Is The Batman funding this or what? Also, that scene of Robin outside the spaceship made me LOL. Anyway it's interesting to see Tamaran thoroughly explored upon and such, but it's a bit absurd that every single person on the planet wears basically the exact same outfit.)
30. Crash - 4/5 (Cyborg's cybernetic features are confusing. Firstly, how could a digital virus affect his brain, which is clearly a biological component? Second, how and why are there red blood cells flowing in the "veins" of his mechanical parts? Nitpicking logic in a goofy joke episode aside, this was great stuff. I liked that they had to reluctantly get Gizmo to help, and Cyborg going nuts was just entertaining in its own right. I think the interior of his cybernetic parts were interestingly designed, and Beast Boy as an amoeba is just absurd but fun. Although it's inconsistent that he's able to talk while in that form, since he can't when he's any other animal.)
31. Haunted - 5/5 (This was pretty grim, but very thrilling. Given Slade was established as like the main villain of the show, even though it seemed obvious he was imaginary, I kept asking myself if he was actually real or not to come capacity, since I doubt the series would get rid of its main villain that easily. And well, they DID imply somebody else activated the hallucination chemical from the mask, so, like, yeah, he's clearly coming back. That said, if it was all in Robin's head, how did he get all those bruises and rips in his clothes? By punching the air? And why did Beast Boy have a cold in this episode? I guess they needed some comedic relief so it wouldn't be too grim for Cartoon Network.)
32. Spellbound - 4/5 ("Kardiak, you're under arrest". I get it. Because he is a heart. Pretty amusing. Anyway, yikes, Beast Boy sure was mean for NO reason. But the way they made up in the end with Raven even joining him and Cyborg's game of "stankball" was cute. As for Malchior, well, I thought he was a girl until he spoke.)
33. Revolution - 3/5 (Pretty much a rehash of the first Mad Mod episode. He has the Titans trapped in a maze of illusions and they chase him around and defeat him. Which I get is the whole gimmick since he's just a joke villain, so yeah. This was good, but not AS good. The pop-art backgrounds were pretty cool, and I liked how the British flag was the sky in the background the entire time. Plus, British Beast Boy was funny. The "message" about patriotism, democracy or whatever, felt a but muddled.)
34. Wavelength - 3/5 (I guess Brother Blood is growing to be Cyborg's arch nemesis or something. This was pretty average, so I barely got anything to say. Aqualad asks for help, so they take down Blood's underwater weapon and...Yeah. But I liked Bumblebee, and her fight scene with Cyborg had a lot of funny visuals. The bit where he shuts the door on her was amusing too.)
35. The Beast Within - 5/5 (This was great. You'd think it would be fairly predictable to tell a werewolf story with Beast Boy, but the execution really makes it work. Yeah, it's obvious he's acting strange because of the chemicals from the beginning. But his gradual shift from acting macho, to asshole, to picking a physical fight with Raven for NO reason was interesting because of how bizarrely out of character it is. Especially when his "beast" form took the Raven beef to the next level. But on top of that I especially enjoyed the twist that the Adonis guy from the beginning was a second werewolf, and the actual culprit. Robin seemed awfully quick to immediately lock Beast Boy away or straight up murder him though. For a guy who himself was blackmailed into being evil, you'd think he would be more considerate to other possibilities.)
36. Can I Keep Him? - 3/5 (This was alright. Pretty simple concept for a comedy episode is all. Beast Boy fosters a giant maggot and then it becomes bigger and dangerous. Kind of amusing how Starfire got more attached to it in like a day than Beast Boy did while hiding it for months. As a sode note, I liked the design of Rancids robot dog and dinosaur.)
37. Bunny Raven... or ...How to Make A Titananimal Disappear - 3/5 (Pretty good for a zany episode. The Titans as animals were amusing designs, and Beast Boy becoming a lamp instead was funny. Mumbo's song was catchy.)
38/39. Titans East - 4/5 (I like the concept of Titans East, although the only member I find particularly interesting is Bumblebee. I'm always fond of shrinking abilities for the potential practical uses that often go unacknowledged. She never really does anything with it besides shoot some lasers in the bad guys face, though. Speedy and Aqualad are kind of generic, and Más y Menos are just gag characters, so yeah. Cyborg's conflict here was pretty interesting, but the way he gets decapitated piece by piece was pretty brutal. But him sticking it to Brother Blood was pretty awesome, and I liked the sweet ending where he decides to stick with the Titans.)
40. Episode 257-494 - 3/5 (Steve Irwin gets mauled by a bear. Anyway, this episode is decent, but it's just an endless stream of references to other things, many of which I am not familiar with, so even as a comedy episode, a lot of the jokes don't work very well. That woman from the lame soap opera was still with Cyborg in the real world by the end because THAT makes sense. But it was funny.)
41. The Quest - 4/5 (Yeah, it was pretty obvious the old lady was the great master. Robin going through challenges was pretty entertaining though, but that snake one... He won by merely grabbing the snake? Sure, okay. The rest of the team dressing up as and pretending to be Robin was probably the best part, especially even Raven joining in.)
42. Birthmark - 4/5 (Welcome back, Slade. This was a very thrilling episode. Really just has you asking tons of questions. Like how is Slade back, why is he targeting Raven now, etc. But also, it was interesting how this potrays Robin and Raven as having a very close friendship. I mean I guess all the Titans are good friends, but these two haven't been explored as a duo at all, so it was interesting, if not a bit awkward.)
43. Cyborg the Barbarian - 4/5 (Silly concept, but I like it. Though given how time travel has been established in this show, Cyborg can't really do anything to affect the future, because everything he will do has already happened in the past. I like the design of the demon... Thingies)
44. Employee of the Month - 4/5 (I found it interesting how this acknowledges Beast Boy a physical task, as opposed to Raven or Starfire's breezy levitating. Beast Boy working at a meat shop itself was pretty funny, and the Tofu villain in the end sells the whole thing for me. LOL.)
45. Troq - 3/5 (The racism episode. The fact that we know what word "troq" is supposed to represent makes it very weird how often we see it used. I mean imagine an episode where they used the actual word this much... Yeah. I think this is pretty well done and what not in terms of being sweet and emotional, especially Cyborg's talk with Starfire and Robin instantly changing his mind on Val-Yor once he finds out. But the action plot they wrapped all this around didn't really have me hooked, and it's a pretty big chunk of the episode.)
46. The Prophecy - 3/5 (This is neat and all, but for the most part it really feels like nothing but setup for a grander plot than something to stand on its own. So while I'm sure the context of this will make the season finale more rewarding, this is just okay. I did get a kick out of Raven pulling up Slade as he was trying to leave just to jerk him around a little.)
47. Stranded - 4/5 (This is a fun episode, but it has one of the worst common TV tropes of all time; Character refusing to explain an easily explainable situation this creating conflict because of misunderstanding. I mean, yeah, Starfire DID describe what a "girlfriend" was, but then she just described what could also be platonic. Robin could have easily explained to her that there's a difference between platonic and romantic.)
48. Overdrive - 3/5 (I like the Billy Numerous theme music, but that's about it really.)
49. Mother Mae-Eye - 3/5 (Well, funny at times, I'll give it that. But ehhhh. Yeah, I don't know, there isn't much to be said here. Liked the scene where Robin spiked up his hair.)
50/51/52. The End - 5/5 (Yeah, pretty epic. The Titans using Raven's power was also cool. I was hoping to finally see Slade's face when his mask was knocked off, but I suppose a creepy half decomposed skeleton is also interesting... Don't really understand Trigon's motivation for, well, all of this though. He wants to take over the Earth and get rid of all life on it, just so he can sit in a giant chair and relax? I mean, the real story here is supposed to be about Raven, so I know it doesn't matter, but that's pretty thin for what's supposed to be the most threatening villain of the show to date.)
53/54. Homecoming - 3/5 (I love specific character focused episode where we see something more personal to them, but Beast Boy's background isn't that interesting and most of the team besides Elastigirl weren't very interesting. But I do find Negative Man's powers cool. Brain is a pretty cool villain too, I love his voice, really intimidating vibes. How are any of the Doom Patrol alive after what happened though? Never explained)
55. Trust - 4/5 (An entire Hot Spot episode? Interesting, since I always find it fun when shows divert from the main cast. Overall fun, but that ending was pretty frustrating though. Hot Spot was so obviously Madame Rouge!)
56. For Real - 3/5 (I do like the Titans East, but this was disappointing. I was hoping for more of a genuine episode in their own town, seeing their feats as a team and friends, as opposed to goofing off with Control Freak. Also one of the villains Brain had lined up two episodes ago is in jail here?? Were Más y Menos permanently translated to English for the audience to understand them? I mean I guess I prefer it, since having them two speaking what sounds like gibberish to the rest of the team makes it hard for them to appear as genuine friends, especially since they're mostly attached to each other as opposed to the whole team.)
57. Snowblind - 4/5 (Already loved Red Star and then he's immediately killed before my eyes!! Whyyyy! I was hoping he would gain control of his powers and aid the Titans. How has he still been getting tanks to fill up with radioactive liquid for so many decades though? And that's a pretty small room for two tanks a day over the span of decades.)
58. Kole - 3/5 (This entire season so far the Titans have just been around the world, given last time they were in what appears to be Russia, and now it's somewhere in Scandinavia. It's been an interesting change of pace, sure, but this episode wasn't terribly interesting. They meet some caveman with a little girl, Dr. Light is up to no good, etc.)
59. Hide and Seek - 3/5 (Bobby turning out to be real was a pretty fun "twist". Got dragged out for a while though.)
60. Lightspeed - 4/5 (Another non-Titan focused episode. Kid Flash is randomly horning on Jinx because why not, I guess? This Jinx redemption came out of absolutely nowhere, given how little we've seen of her prior. But Kid Flash is fun, so whatever.)
61. Revved Up - 3/5 (This episode is neat, but given how they are racing for the entirety of it, the constant action was pretty exhausting to sit through. Why did Raven sneezing and Starfire saying the Tamaranean equivalent of "bless you" inform all the villains they are Titans though? Also, infuriating we never got to see what's in the briefcase.)
62. Go! - 5/5 (Love seeing the origins of the team, though it's pretty oddly convenient that these 5 superpowered people (well 4 with powers) just so happened to stumble upon each other, same day, same time, same situation. I imagine shortly after this they occasionally stumbled upon each other trying to fight the same bad guy every so often and decided to start a team. Which would have been more realistic for their first interactions, not all 5 meeting at once. Pretty on the nose Batman reference but they still absolutely refuse to mention Batman.)
63/64. Calling All Titans!/Titans Together - 5/5 (Why is Beast Boy climbing up the mountain as a goat instead of just... Flying? This was quite the epic episode, I enjoyted the intensity of seeing nearly every hero be ambushed separately by different villains. It's a bit strange for the final part to mostly be from Beast Boy's perspective, and with the strange heroes he ends up meeting. I was expecting to see how the rest of the Titans made it to the Brotherhood of Evil base, but it's probably better this way, since it leaves it up to imagination, and it doesn't really matter. Seeing the brain finally defeated when all heroes went into battle was satisfying. Jericho's powers were pretty cool.)
65. Things Change - 4/5 (The amount of quiet and awkward scenes with that sad music was... Well, very strange. The whole Terra thing is a bit weird like, sure, if someone you don't know jumps up to you, acts as if they know you and tells you you've gotten amnesia, you'd think they were insane. But Beast Boy surely has photo proof? Or if not, he could get testimony from the rest of his team?? No??? It doesn't have to jog her memory back, but at the very least she'd realize the truth and know who she was instead of just being so vague and saying cryptic things. Some things she said implied perhaps she did know, because any real person would just yell out the weirdo stalking them, not give emotional speeches about the girl you once knew being gone etc. But all that aside, why did Slade send a robot out just to tell Beast Boy that he had nothing to do with what's happened to Terra? Also, that creatures ability to turn himself into any matter he touches is really cool.)
Movie: Trouble in Tokyo - 3/5 (This has pretty much one of the things I dislike most about movies based on TV shows; Instead of actually focusing on the iconic aspects of the series in question, it goes out of it's way to be as far removed from it as possible by setting it in a whole other country. Bummer, because an ideal Titans movie would really focus on the whole team, and THEIR city. Instead, they're just in Tokyo stopping a corrupt commander (who I knew was gonna be the bad guy from the get-go) who's creating crimes to be a hero. And the thing is with these kind of movies is, perhaps if they actually did focus on the characters relationships, it would be good. But instead they are mostly separated the entire time, just goofing off. And cue the obligatory relationship between Robin and Starfire. I mean, it was obviously going to happen, so it's not as if I mind it, but the drama feels pretty forced. They're heroes, yes, but they lounge around and take time off all the time when criminals aren't around. There really isn't much more to say about this. High-tier average. Although, admittedly, I was finding myself ready to close my eyes and fall asleep nearing the hour mark.)
-The Lost Episode - 3/5 (It's half the length of a normal episode, so it's hard to judge it, given it's not even serious at all. A fun little watch, for sure. Beast Boy walking around with a boombox on his shoulders was funny because of how dated it is.)
-New Teen Titans Shorts (Can't really rate them since they're just shorts, but here's a few throwaway thoughts: I like the artstyle. The lowercase T tower is a funny visual gag. Was Blackfire just killed? So, they finally actually showed Batman on screen (technically)? The hell was up with Cyborg's voice in one of these?)
2024.06.01 14:46 Chai_Ky The Case of Kate Blackwell: The Unknown Part 3 (Finale)
11/20/2017
Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
When I woke up, I was in such a haze that I couldn’t make out where I was at first. My vision was a blur and all I could hear was the sounds of rushing water. I tried to move my limbs, but each muscle down to my little finger felt like lead weighing down on me, making it hard to breathe.
It felt like forever before the ringing in my ear was slowly swallowed out by a voice crying out from what sounded like a distance only to grow louder as it seemed to approach me from the void I had woken up in. It wasn’t until I heard my name that I recognized it was Kate’s voice, pleading and filled with tears.
I blinked away the blur, finding myself staring up at a water damaged ceiling, a single yellow light brightening the room. My head was pounding and my body still felt heavy, but I moved my head enough to turn and see where Kate was calling from. It took a moment, but I soon realized that she was lying on her back, strapped by her arms and legs to a metal table, looking to me with wide terrified eyes.
“Detective, please help!” She cried out. “Please don’t be dead! Please help me!”
“Bl-Black…Well…” I groaned out as I tried, painfully, to pick myself up off the stone floor, “Black…Well… Ah… Shit… Shit! Ms. Blackwell-“ I was gaining consciousness minute by minute as I finally took in the situation and got to my feet. However, the moment I had gotten to my feet and began running to Kate only to immediately fall back to the floor once again, my ankle getting caught by something heavy. I turned to see my ankle had been shackled to the floor by a cuff and chains. I searched my person to find my coat, along with my Glock had been taken, blood decorating my pants and sleeves. I placed a palm to my forehead to find blood when I lowered it down to look at the warm liquid slithering down from my scalp.
“Ms. Blackwell,” I returned my attention to her, examining what I could from my place on the floor, “are you alright, are you hurt?”
“I… I… I don’t… Don’t think so…” she managed to whine out.
“Where’s Mr. Raines?”
To this question, Kate looked away from me, sobbing being her only verbal response.
I went back to the shackles on my ankle and began trying to yank the chains off from the floor, but they had been well maintained and were too strong for me to simply yank out of the stone. I then quickly looked around the room to find we were in a different basement from the one in Cabin #3, though it had the same kind of layout, the table the only major difference. I also took note of the blood stains that trailed from the sides of the table and the dried pools below.
“I want my mom!” Kate cried out, her voice echoing in the empty room.
“I’ll get you to her, I will, I promise,” I assured her, trying to find something, anything to get us out of this, “do you remember how we got down here?”
“I… I… I just re-remember… Remember you g-getting knocked out… Knocked out by someone and them… Them putting a rag over me… Then everything went black… Then I woke… Woke up… H-Here…” Kate answered, trying to breathe with each sob she let out. “I… I th-thought… y-you… You were d-d-… Dead!”
“I’m not, I’m very much alive and I’m going to get you out of here and back to your parents,” I vowed as I continued looking for a way out of this situation, “we’re going to get you out of here, get you home, and we’ll make sure no one ever gets hurt here ever-“
The sound of the basement door from the splintered wooden steps cut me off. I listened as feet descended down the steps to the basement below, Kate’s ragged breaths the only other sound. The person who came down was a woman. The same exact woman from the photo I had found in her house. She looked as if she had not aged since that photo was taken, despite how long ago it seemed the photo was taken. She had the same exact long, white hair, same tired looking eyes, and same disgustingly pale skin as in that photo and on her profile picture. It was Mrs. Larson.
“Deeeeeetectiiiiiiive,” she spoke in a hoarse voice mixed with what I assumed was her own and several others, both male and female, adult and child, “youuuuuuu shouuuullld haaaaaaaaave juuuuuuusssssst giiiiiven herrrrrrr toooooo meeeeee… Youuuuuuuu diiiiiiiiid nooooooot haaaaaave toooooooo ssssssseeeee thiiiiiissssss…”
“Fuck you!” I shouted, beginning to charge at the elderly woman only to be yanked back by my shackles. “Let us go, right now!”
“Nnnnooooo,” Mrs. Larson replied harshly as she stepped over to loom over Kate.
“Stay away from her!” I barked, trying desperately to break free of my shackles.
She ignored me as she ran a shaky hand down along Kate’s trembling face. “Ooooooooohhhhh, Kaaaaaate… Sweeeeet, sweeeeeeeet, Kaaaaaaaaaate…” Mrs. Larson cooed as she went on stroking Kate’s wet cheek. “Doooooo noooooooot crrrrrrryyyyyyy, dooooooonnnnnn’t thiiiiiiiiiinnnnk oooooofff iiiiiiiit aaaaaaaassssss dyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnng, thiiiiiiiiinnnk ooooooooffff iiiiiiit aaaaaassssss ssssssssaaaaaaaaaviiiiiiinnng aaaaaannnnoooootherrrrrrrrr liiiiiiiiife.”
“I-I… I d-don’t… Don’t under-understand… w-what th-that… That m-means…” Kate cried, her hands gripping the sides of the metal table beneath her, “P-Please, d-don’t… Don’t kill me… L-Let… Let us-us go!”
“Nnnnnoooooo,” Mrs. Larson answered in the same harshness she used on me, “IIIIIIIII neeeeeeeed youuuuuuuuuu,” she then shot a death glare my way through tired, silver eyes, “aaaaaaaannnnnnd heeeeeeeeee’ssssssss beeeeeeeeeennnnnn nnnnnnnoooooooothiiiiiiiiinnnnnng buuuuut aaaaaa thooooooorrrrrrnnnn iiiiiiinnnnn myyyyyyyyy ssssssssiiiiiiiide siiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnccccccce youuuuuu eeeeeessssssscaaaaaaped meeeeeeee.” She then looked back to Kate with a softer look. “Aaaaaaaassssss fffffoooooorrrrr whaaaaaaaat youuuuuuu caaaaaannnn’t uuuuuunnnnnnderrrrrrssssssstaaaaaaannnnnnd, IIIIIIIIII nnnnnneeeeeeed yourrrrrrrrrr heaaaaaaaarrrrrt tooooooo ssssssssaaaaaavvvvvvve myyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiisssssssterrrrrrrr.”
“The fuck does that mean?” I demanded, still trying to vain to pull my ankle from the chains. “How the hell will Kate’s heart save your sister?”
“Diiiiiiiiidnnnnnn’t nnnnnnneeeeeeed toooooo beeeee Kaaaaaaate’sssssss,” admitted Mrs. Larson, “buuuuuuuut sssshhhhhheeeeee hiiiiiiiiid theeeeee ooooooootherrrrr giiiiirrrrrrllllll ffffffrrrrroooooommmmm mmmmmeeeeee.”
“S-Son… Sonja…” Kate sniffed, the tears still streaming down her face.
“IIIIIIII oooooooonnnnnlllllyyyyy neeeeed fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllle,” Mrs. Larson dismissed Ms. Greymoore’s name, “ffffffeeeeeeemmmmmaaaaaallllle heaaaaaaaarrrrrrrtsssss toooooo rrrrrrreeeeeetuuuuurrrrrrnnnnn mmmmmmyyyyy ssssiiiiissssssterrrrrrrrr toooooo theeeeeeee giiiiirrrrrllllll ssssshhhhhheeeee uuuuuuuusssssed tooooo beeeeeee.”
“That’s a fucking joke right?” I asked. “The hell makes you think eating a female heart will turn your sister back into a human woman? Have you seen what’s happened to your sister?”
“IIIIIIIII knnnnnnnooooooow beeeeeeecaaaauuuuusssssse iiiiiiiiiiit wooooooorrrrrked ooooooonnnnn mmmmmeeeeee,” Mrs. Larson explained, “IIIIIIIIIII waaaaaasssss aaaaaaablllllllle toooooo reeeeeeetaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn thiiiiiiiiiisssssss huuuuuummmmmmaaaaaannnnn fffffffooooorrrrrrmmmm ffffffrrrrrooooommmm eeeeeaaaaatiiiiiinnnnnng theeeeeeee heaaaaaaaaarrrrrtsssss, sssssspecifffffficaaaaaaallllllyyyyyy fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllleeee sssssssooooooo IIIIIIIIII mmmmmmaaaaaayyyyyy rrrrrreeeeetuuuurrrrrnnnnn toooo beeeeeiiiiinnnng theeeeeeee giiiiiirrrrrrrllllll IIIIIII uuuuuuusssssed toooooooo beeeeeee.”
“You were dead,” I pointed out, “they found your body up here, you were buried.”
“Theeeeeessssssse sssshhhhheeeeeellllllsssss arrrrrrre mmmmmeeeeeerrreeeellllyyy veeeeeessssssellllllssssss ffffffoooooorrrrrr theeeeeeee sssssspiiiiirrrrriiiiiitsssss weeeee hiiiiiiiiiiide beeeeeneeeeaaaaattthhhh,” Mrs. Larson responded, finally turning her gaze to me, “IIIIIIII haaaaaaad tooooooo maaaake peeeopllllle beeeelieevvvve IIIIIII haaaaaad diiiiiiied tooooo keeeeeep frrrrroooommm theeeee poooooollllliiiiicccce ffffrrrrrrooooommmm pooookiiiiiinnnng aaaaarrrrouuuuuunnnnd aaaaannnnnd rrrrruuuiiinnnnniiinnnng eeeevvvveeerrrrryyythiiiiinnnng.”
“So, let me just get this whole thing straight,” I began as I started rubbing my temples, "when you and your sister starting into… Whatever the hell that thing you call your sister is-“
“Ooooouuuurrrrr sssssspiiiiiirrrrrriiiiiit,” Mrs. Larson corrected.
“Whatever!” I shot. “You found out that eating female hearts turns you two back into human women and to keep police from suspecting you, you pretended to be dead and… What? Just hope a shitty real estate agency would buy your property and you could just… Kill people, people with lives and families outside the mountains?”
“Thaaaaaaaat iiiiiiisssss cooooorrrrrreeeeect…” Mrs. Larson admitted, narrowing her eyes at me.
That’s when I began laughing hysterically, holding my sides that hurt with each harsh breath of a laugh I took. Both Mrs. Larson and Kate looked to me as if I had lost my mind and at this point I was starting to believe I had. Everything I had seen and heard about this entire case would put anyone in the looney bin. And I’m the damn fool who dug too deep into something he had nothing to do with.
“Whaaaaaat’s ssssoooo ffffuuunnnny?” Growled Mrs. Larson, stepping around Kate to stand between us.
“I don’t know what’s fucking funnier, honestly,” I chuckled, running a hand through my hair, “the fact that you thing people won’t be poking around even more when they discover not only is Blackwell missing, but so is a detective and escaped convict all of whom now have ties to these fucking mountains and those cabins, or that you thing I’m more afraid of what you plan on doing with me more than I am when her father finds out I got her in this situation in the first place!”
“Heeeeeee wooooonnnnn’t beeeee aaaaabllllle toooooo doooo aaaaaannnnnyyyyythiiiiiinnnng aaaaaaafffffterrrrrrr IIIIIIIII’mmmmm dooooooonnnne wiiiiiiiith booooooth ooooooooffffff youuuuuuuuu,” Mrs. Larson hissed as she inched closer, “fffffffiiiiiiirrrrrrssssst, IIIIIIIII waaaaaannnnnt youuuuuuuu toooo waaaaaatch mmmmmeeeee kiiiiiiillllll herrrrrrr,” she turned her head to look to Kate who was now just shaking, her eyes seemingly gone dry from the crying, Mrs. Larson then looked back to me, “sssssseeeeecooooonnnnd, IIIIIIII wiiiiillllll ssssssaaaaave youuuuu fffffooooorrrr mmmmmmyyyyy sssssiiiiiisssssterrrrr, oooooonnnnne heeeeaaaaart wiiiiilllll nnnnoooot ssssssaaaaaatissssfffffyyyy herrrr huuuuuunnnnnger.” She took another step. “Uuuuuuuunnnnnllllliiiiiike sssssssoooooommmme ssssssiiiiiibllllliiiiiiinnnnnngsssss, IIIIIIIII caaaaaarrrre aaaaaaboooouuuuut mmmmmmyyyyy ffffffaaaammmmiiiiilllllyyyyyy.”
She stared into my eyes, expecting a reaction and while my blood did somewhat boil at the accusatory statement, I didn’t fully understand what she was getting at. Not until she used that voice. Not until she relived that day with those two familiar child-like voices.
“Screw you, Liam!” She cried out in a voice I remember from my childhood. “I hope you drop dead!”
“Stop.” I demanded.
“Piss off, Ryan!” She shot back in a second boy’s voice.
“I said stop!” I began shouting.
“Help me, Ryan! Please, help me! I’m sorry! Please, Lucky Dime, help me!”
I then lunged toward her, reaching my hands out toward her neck only to be stopped by the shackles as she swiftly, almost without even moving, stepped just out of my reach.
“Fucking bitch!” I screamed out.
“If only you really cared about me, Lucky Dime,” sighed Mrs. Larson as she turned and began making her way to the side of the room where a cart stood in the shadows. She pulled it over to Kate’s side, the cart covered in rusted medical tools.
“P-Please,” Kate wheezed, “p-p-please… I… I d-d-don’t w-want… Want t-to d-d… D-Die, I… I w-w-want m-m-m… My m-mom!”
“Dooooonnn’t woooorrrrryyyyy,” Mrs. Larson soothed, using that mix of different voices, “mmmmmmaaaayyyyybeeee sheeee wiiiillll cooooommmme loooookinnnng ffffooooorrrr yooouuuuu aaaaannnnnd sheeeeeee caaaaannnnn joooooiiiiiinnnn youuuuuuu.”
Kate began to sob, begging and pleading for Mrs. Larson to let her go, thrashing around in her restraints. Telling the older woman that there was no saving her sister and that she was too far gone for this sick ritual to work anymore. I tried to yank at the chains once more, trying to loosen it at least enough to break free and grab at Mrs. Larson.
“Rrrrrrreeeeellllllaaaaax,” Mrs. Larson ordered as she began filling a syringe with some kind of clear liquid from a small bottle, “yoooouuuuuu woooooonnnn’t eeeeeveeennn fffffeeeellll iiiiiiit, thiiiissssss wiiiiiillllll puuuuuut youuuuu toooo ssssssllllllleeeeeep aaaaaannnnnnd wheeeeeennnnnn youuuuuu waaaaaake uuuuuuuup, youuuuuuu’lllllll beeee iiiiiinnnnnn heeeeeaaaaaaveeeennnnn… Uuuuuunnnnnnnllllllessssss youuuuuuu weeeerrrrrrre aaaaaa haaaaaarrrrrlllllooooooot, iiiiiiinnnnnn whiiiiiiiich caaaaaassssssseeeee, mmmmmaaaayyyy Goooooood haaaaaaaave mmmmmmmmerrrrrrrcccccyyyyy ooooonnnnn youuuuuur ssssssoooouuuuullllll… Aaaaannnnnd baaaaaaasssssed ooooonnnn hoooooow youuuuuu drrrrressss aaaaannnnnd theeeee coooommmmpaaaannnnyyyy youuuuuu keeeeeep,” She added as she eyed me, “IIIIIII ssssssaaaaaayyyy youuuuu haaaaaave aaaaa lllllloooooot ooooooffff fooooooorrrrgiiiiiviiiiinnnnng tooooo dooooo.”
Kate continued to cry as Mrs. Larson pushed the needle of the syringe into her arm, pushing down on the plunger as it pierced the flesh. Kate’s loud screams soon turned quieter and her red eyes began to glaze over, but she continued to stay awake, tightening her grip on the table and still begging to be let go.
“IIIIII waaaaannnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch, Detective,” Mrs. Larson spat out my title in Mr. Blackwell’s voice, “IIIII waaaaannnnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch herrrrrr fffffaaaaaade aaaaaannnnnnd mmmmmeeeee rrrrreeeemmmmooooove heerr heeeaaaarrrrrt toooooo ffffffeeeeeed tooooo mmmmmmyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiissssssterrrrrr,” she then pulled out a recorder, “theeeeennnnnn wheeeeeennnnn IIIIIII ssssssuuuuummmmoooooonnnnn herrrrrrr aaannnnd sheeeee fffffiiiinnnniiiishessssss oooooofffffff heeeerrrrr heeeaaaaarrrrrt, youuuuuuu’llllllll beeeeee neeeeeext.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled, “I hope you and your sister burn.”
“IIIIIIIII’mmmmm gooooonnnnnaaaaa gooooo aaaaallllllerrrrrrt mmmmmyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiissssterrrrrr,” Mrs. Larson turned and began making her way to the basement steps, “ssssseeee youuuuu boooooth ffffffoooooorrrr diiiiiinnnnnnerrrrrrr.”
She then pressed the play button on her recorder and a small, little girl’s voice echoed in the room before Mrs. Larson vanished up the steps.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
Then the door slammed shut.
“De… Tec… Tive…” Kate squeaked out, her breathing slowing.
“Stay awake, Blackwell,” I ordered her gently, looking around frantically for anything to get us both out of this alive, “I’ll get us out of this, I promise, just stay awake, we’ll get out of here, I just need-“
“I’m… S… Sorry…” she breathed out. “I’m… So… Sorry… For… Get… Getting… You… In… To.. This…”
“No, no, this is not your fault!” I assured her. “That psychotic bitch got us both into this shit and I won’t stop until I get us out and put her and her fucking sister are six feet under!”
“W…Wha… What… H… Hap… Happened… To… To L… Liam…?”
I stopped struggling with the chains and turned to look to Kate. Her head was turned to me, her face wet, hands clenching as hard as they could to the table beneath her, the light in her eyes slowly fading second by second. She was trying desperately to stay awake. The medication Mrs. Larson taking hold of her as the minutes ticked by.
I dropped the chains that were in my hands, looking away from her, wanting to stare at anything other than another person I had failed.
“He was killed,” I answered, “we were fishing at a lake nearby… Lake Gaagige… We got into a really stupid ass fucking fight about how which fishing pole we were going to use. I wanted to use our dad’s, but Liam was older and said only men could use dad’s fishing pole… I told him… To drop dead and stormed off… When I got home, my parents dragged me back to the lake and scolded me for leaving him…” I trailed off, swallowing all the tears and screams I’d bottled up since that day. “When… We found… Him… The autopsy… Said he was mauled by a bear… I’ve blamed myself for leaving him there alone… For letting him die and getting killed like that… The last thing I ever told him was to drop dead… I was a shitty brother and now I’m a shitty detective…”
“Is… Is he… Why… You became… A… Detective…?”
I took a deep breath and swallowed the tears again. “No, Blackwell,” I answered, “he’s not why I became a detective… I already knew what had killed him… It was my fault… If I hadn’t been such a brat and stormed off… He might still be alive… And now… What that bitch said…” I replayed Liam’s screams that escaped Mrs. Larson’s mouth. “I’m starting to think I’m getting what I deserve. Karma’s back to kick my ass…”
“H… How… Old…?”
“I was six… Liam was eight…”
“N… N… Not your… F… Fault…”
I turned to look to Kate, her eyes on mine, however faded.
“Y… You were… Only… A k… Kid…”
I took another intake of what little air there was down in that basement. I had spent years trying to convince myself of the same thing, but those moments never got easier for me when those thoughts returned.
“I think you’re just being nice,” I laughed painfully, “but I’m afraid I- and my folks- don’t share the same sentiment.”
I was staring down at where the chains were coming from in the ground, Kate not saying a word for over a couple of minutes. I spun to see if she had fallen asleep and immediately tried to find out how to wake her up again. However, once I our eyes met, I saw that she was still fighting sleep, the last of her tears rolling down across the bridge of her nose and into her hair.
“I… I… I had… Had a c… Crush… O… On… J… Jasper…” she confessed, her voice getting quieter and higher. “P… Paul and… And Son… Sonja knew… I never… Never c… Cared f… For Luke… But I’m… Sure… S… Sonja t… Told him…” she looked like she was going to sob again. “I… I never g… Got the… Ch… Chance… T… To tell J… Jasper… I… Was… Scared… He… He and… P… Paul were friends… And I… I kn… Knew… How P… Paul f… Felt… A… About m… Me… I… I did… Didn’t wa… Want to… R… Ruin… Anyth… Anything…” She took a gulp of air. “I… I ha… Hated L… Luke… I… A… Always… Kn… Knew… He… He was a… Player… B… But Sonja… Said… Said she was hap… Happy… So… So I did… Didn’t wa… Want to g… Get in… H… Her way… B… But Luke d… Didn’t l… Like h… How cl… Close… We… Were… I d… Didn’t w… Want him to make… Make her th… Think I… I was l… Leading her o… On… T… To get them… To b… Break up… Th… Then… That n… Night… Sh… She w… Wanted to… To leave…” She let out two pained gasps of breath. “I… I let them down… I let them all down… Luke pro… Probably thought… Thought I w… Was the one who… Who f… Filled Sonja’s mind… With thoughts of… Of him ch… Cheating… Th… Then I… I got them… All killed…
I… I didn’t deserve them, d… Detective…” she went on, looking away from me to stare up at the water damaged ceiling, “I… I… I was a… Terrible… Terrible friend…”
“Did you read their guest book entries?” I asked.
“N… No… D… Didn’t w… Want to… To r… Read any… Anything p… Private…” Kate answered.
“Jasper didn’t blame you,” I assured her, remembering what he had written in his entry during his time watching Mrs. Larson just outside the cabin, “even when he heard the voices- when he heard Mrs. Larson- telling him to, he didn’t. I don’t think the others blamed you either. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ms. Blackwell, there’s no way you could have known any of this would happen.”
“K… Kate…”
“What?”
“C… Call… Call me… Kate…”
“Aright, Kate,” I let out what little laughter I had left inside me, “so long as we’re the last people we’ll be chatting with, call me Ryan.”
“R… Ryan…”
“If we at all live through this, I’m going to need a long vacation after this,” I said as I turned to look at my shackles again, looking around myself to try finding anything to Get free since a vacation sounded like something to die for at that moment, “do you know any good vacation spots I can book for the fall?”
“Y… You’re… You’re a… Dick…” Kate struggled to laugh.
“I also enjoy pineapple on pizza,” I winked as I reached down to my ankle, ready to break it just to taste that sweet combination of tomato sauce and fruit.
“G… God… I… I c… Can’t… Believe… I th… Thought y… You w… Were c… Cute…”
I sat down on the floor, grabbing my ankle with both my hands. Needing to hype myself up enough to do what I was going to do, I began removing my shoe and sock from the foot, rubbing and squeezing my way up and down the ankle to my toes. I had never broken a bone in my life before this and I definitely never thought I’d do it of my own volition, but this was a desperate time and it definitely called for desperate…
“Wait what?” I turned to look to Kate, finally registering what she had said.
However, just before I could be sure of what I heard, the sound of a hunting rifle going off just above our heads right before we heard the door to the basement swing open and immediately be slammed shut. Both Kate and I turned to see someone stumble down the wooden steps, his clothes torn and body scratched and cut to a nearly deadly degree. I was even shocked he was still breathing.
“M… Mr… R… Raines…?” Kate gasped out.
“What’s left of me at least,” Mr. Raines grumbled as he limped over to Kate and quickly began undoing her straps to the table, “damn thing almost ripped my head off, but one swing of the barrel to its eye and I was able to get away… Can’t say it didn’t do its damage though… I’m… Getting really fucking hungry…”
He shook his head violently before limping over to me. He then raised an eyebrow at me when he saw how I was positioned still on the floor with a bare foot in my hands shackled to the floor.
“I… I was… I… I thought you were-“ I stammered.
“I am,” Mr. Raines interrupted, “at least, I’m on my way there anyway.” He then retrieved my Glock from his back pocket. “I don’t know what that thing did to me, but I’m not gonna make it out of this alive, or the way I came in. It’s a massacre out there by the way. Lot of men in blue bodies out there… Very… Hard to ignore… Sure more will be on their way. So.”
With that, Mr. Raines pointed at my chains and pulled the trigger on my clock, barely giving me time to cover my ears as the sound rung out loudly in the basement. I shook my head, trying to undo the blurry and ringing side effects of the sound of a gun going off near your head. I gave the older man a glare before standing and snatching my Glock from his hands. That’s when I saw Kate shifting herself to the side of the metal table she was no longer tied to, trying to get her limbs to comply with her to help her off and on to the floor.
I ran over and grabbed her just as she nearly stumbled face first to the floor and lifted her up to her feet, her body heavy with lack of keeping herself up.
“Do you think you can walk?” I asked, trying to keep her on her feet.
“I… I don’t… I…” Kate stammered as she tried to push herself off of me while also using using me as a crutch until she could stand on her own. However, she didn’t seem to be able to put any kind of pressure on her legs without falling down.
“Kate?” A girl’s voice called out from above us.
Feeling Kate shudder, I realized that it must have been the sound of Sonja’s voice and Mrs. Larson was using her to keep Kate from running. I quickly swung my arm down behind her knees, pressing the other down on her back as I lifted her up off the floor, my Glock at the ready as I kept it pointed in front of me while my arm held up Kate’s knees.
“She must have heard the gunshots,” I pointed out, “how’d you get past her in the first place?”
“I set the other cabins on fire,” Mr. Raines answered as if it were the simplest of answers, “I had to distract her somehow and give those bodies she’d been eating a better fate than becoming her shit.”
“Are you planning on setting this place on fire too?” I asked.
“‘Course I am!” Mr. Raines exclaimed, seemingly offended I’d even ask. “I already doused it in gasoline, I ain’t wasting all that time!”
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice cried out, getting closer to the basement door. “Are you seriously leaving me here to die alone again!”
“Please… Make it… Stop…” Kate sniffed as she gripped my shirt and burying her face into the fabric.
“Let’s get you two out of here.” Mr. Raines began leading the way to the basement stairs, cocking his rifle as he did so.
“What about you?” I asked, immediately following after him.
Mr. Raines didn’t answer as he stomped up the stairs and kicked the door open to the first floor of the cabin. The stench of the gasoline he had spilled hitting me harshly in my face.
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice, along with a different crescendo of male voices shrieked out as Mrs. Larson appeared from the corner of the hallway where the basement was located.
“Leighton?” A different woman’s voice asked the moment the old woman’s eyes spotted Mr. Raines. I then watched in both shock and confusion as it almost looked like the very skin on the woman melted off to reveal a much younger woman. The woman I recognized as Bonnie Collins. “Leighton… Love is that you?”
Mr. Raines kept his rifle on the vision of the woman he once loved before her murder, but didn’t move or speak.
“Darling, I’ve missed you so much!” The fake Bonnie cried out as she began making her way to Mr. Raines with arms open wide to hug him.
Mr. Raines then lifted his gun up higher, placing his finger on the trigger which caused the vision to stop in her place.
“Leighton?” The fake Bonnie asked. “Baby, it’s me… Bun-Bun… Don’t you recognize me…?” She began to tear up.
“You’re not my Bunny,” Mr. Raines growled before he shot once at the woman.
The fake Bonnie swiftly dodged the bullet, an inhuman hiss coming from an unhinged mouth, revealing a row of long, sharp teeth. The skin of Bonnie then melted off to reveal another woman, a lot younger than the first one it intimidated. The face of one of the victims upon being brought on this case.
“Kate,” the fake Sonja called out, “Kate, what are you doing? Who are these men? Why are they trying to hurt me?”
Kate let out a sobbing gasp, her nails digging into my shoulder with her arm wrapped around my neck.
“Didn’t I suffer enough?” The fake Sonja asked. “First my boyfriend and now you? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore?”
“Shut up!” Kate demanded. “You’re not Sonja! You killed her, you killed all of them! I don’t care what happens to me, but I’m not letting their memories end with you!”
Kate then snatched my Glock from my hand under her legs and shot directly at the fake Sonja’s head. Again the shot missed as the fake vision of the girl slithered out of the way, a frustrated growl of a dog and human escaping it’s mouth. It then zipped to the side, cowering with its back to us on the floor.
“Lucky dime…” A child’s voice then took over. The vision’s skin melting now to a much smaller figure. “Is this what you want? To kill me all over again?” He turned to look up at me, Liam’s face forever eight-years-old staring up at me. “It’s no wonder mommy and daddy hate you now… You were always a shitty brother… Now, I’m gonna starve to death because you’d rather help a couple of strangers.”
“I’m sorry, Liam,” I replied, everyone, including the fake Liam looking to me in surprise, “I left you alone out here and that’s what got you killed by that thing out there and I’m sorry. But, if I’d stayed it may have been both of us and then mom and dad would have no one left to blame but each other. If you had left and I was the one killed, you’d probably be in my shoes instead. I’m sorry for letting you get killed, but I’m gonna make up for it now.”
I then took my Glock back from Kate and pointed it to the vision of Liam.
“Good bye, Liam.”
I shot the gun once again, missing the creature again, however, this time I just kept shooting, Mr. Raines following after. Our different bullets just kept firing, the thing dodging and trying to get closer to us. The creature screeched out at us in a myriad of different voices both familiar and unknown. It wasn’t until one shot from my Glock struck the creatures shoulder and Mr. Raines’ rifle struck its head when the skins of everyone it was trying to turn into all melted off, revealing Mrs. Larson once again.
However, this time, she looked shriveled, older than she looked before. Her face looked deformed, beginning to grow furry, her eyes growing nothing but red, no irises, no pupils, just red. Her hair grew longer, branches like antlers growing painfully out from her skull, breaking the skin as they grew larger. The lower half of her face grew elongated, turning into that of a muzzle of fangs and a drooling mouth.
“You… All… Have no rrrrrrriiiiiight!” A different, unknown voice snarled out from what used to be Mrs. Larson. “People liiiiiike you all… Abandoned me and myyyyyyyyy sister!” The fur growing around this thing grew out short and shaggy, the cloths it was using melting off with the skin and flesh it was wearing. It now didn’t look anything like a human woman. It now took the form of a large wolf mixed with that of a deer, it’s body dog-like with hooves, antlers, and a long, scraggly tail. “You lot abandoned us here! You left us all here to diiiiiiiie!”
Guilt was weighing down on me with each syllable it was growling. Kate looked away from it, burying her face in my neck as Mr. Raines lowered his rifle.
“Nooooow, you’re bringing more here to just leave and let die out here!” It went on, it’s horrifying, broken body shuddering. “Why let them just vanish and die up here when they can bring people like my sister and I back? Give me Kate’s heart and fix what you threeeeeeeeee failed!”
Mr. Raines then handed over his rifle to Kate, placing it down on her stomach as her hands were still wrapped around my neck. The older man made his way over to stand over the thing, its neck creaking like a rusted door as it turned its wolf-like head to look up at him.
“Leighton…” Bonnie’s voice came from the creature. “Give mmmmeeeee her heart aaaannnnd we can be togetherrrrr again… If you eat the deeeeeetective’s we can saaaaaave you tooooooo…”
“My Bunny’s dead,” Mr. Raines told it as he dug in his pocket and took out a carton of matches, “and so am I.”
“You’d burn your wife?” A mix of Bonnie and Mrs. Larson’s voices shrieked as it glared at the match he took from the match box.
“You’re not my wife,” Mr. Raines told it, “and I’ll never see her again.”
“Fooooooool,” Mr. Larson’s voice chuckled, “you’llllllll killllllll us both!”
“With the shit I’ve done in my life, I know you’re taking me to Hell with you,” Mr. Raines growled back as he struck the match on the box, “so I’m sure as fuck not afraid to burn here on Earth with you!”
Mr. Raines then dropped the match to the floor right before the creature and everything around the two of them immediately went up in flames, the fur of the creature catching quickly and engulfing it. An agonized shriek echoed out all around us, the creature thrashing in the fire it had gotten swallowed up in. Mr. Raines then grabbed it by it’s long, furry throat and swung it down back flat the floor, jumping to pin it down.
“Get out!” Mr. Raines cried out to me. “Leave here!”
Not needing to be told twice, I held onto Kate tightly and bolted past the two burning bodies, jumping over the fire as it began growing fast throughout the cabin. I quickly got to the front door and stopped to look back to see Mr. Raines fighting the creature and preventing it from coming after us, it begging for me to bring Kate back and that it would die without her.
“I’ll clear your name,” I called back, trying not to reel back in horror as I saw Mr. Raines skin begin to melt off, “I’ll let people know you didn’t kill Bonnie!”
“I’ll let people know you didn’t… Kill… Liam!” Mr. Raines’ voice called back, him thrashing around with Mrs. Larson as he said my brother’s name in my voice.
I turned back and kicked the front door open, rushing Kate out of the burning cabin. I ran until I got far enough from the smoke, turning back to see all three cabins now on fire, the area around them all ablaze. The only place untouched was Mrs. Larson’s house, all the evidence remaining. I could hear sirens in the distance coming closer. The sounds of shouts from the surviving officers sounding much closer.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
I looked to the front porch of Mrs. Larson’s house where her recorder continued to call out for her sister. I set Kate down at the base of a nearby tree and ran to snatch the recorder, shutting it off. I searched around, looking for any signs of Prudence, but it appeared that the fire and the sounds of sirens and voices had scared her off. I ran back to Kate, her eyes closed and her not responding to me calling to her, but after checking her pulse and breathing, I found that the medication Mrs. Larson had given her had finally taken over and she was now fast asleep, the rifle Mr. Raines gave her still sitting on her rhythmically rising and falling stomach.
Letting out a sigh of relief, I leaned against the same tree I set Kate down on and slid down to the ground next to her. The first two cabins were already practically nothing but ash, the last still blazing as I heard the slowly fading screams of Mrs. Larson and Mr. Raines coming from inside.
When the screaming ended all together, the smoke turning blacker as it rose from the flames, I got to my feet and took out my pack of cigarettes as I approached the fires, staying far enough away not to get burned. I opened the pack up before stopping myself as I reached for one of the ten remaining cigarettes inside. I then flung the entire carton into the fires without taking one.
“Save one for me down there, you old bastard,” I told Mr. Raines before making my way back to Kate’s side.
It wasn’t long before the remaining officers found us, looking in confusion at the fires and to me with a sleeping victim in a homicide case on the ground. I told them we’d need to call an ambulance for Kate and that we needed to keep the flames from getting to Mrs. Larson’s house as it held evidence on the case. One officer retrieved his radio and called for an ambulance while a group ran to the house and another went to try controlling the fire as best they could by yanking out any bushes near by and throwing them away from the area around the house.
Luckily, the fire trucks were called long before the fire spread too far, residence noticing it practically the moment Mr. Raines set the first cabin on fire.
As I sat there, keeping Kate held up against the tree we sat under, I listened to the crackling of the fire, the sirens of fast approaching fire trucks and the ambulance, and the sounds of distance, coyote, almost human, howling.
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Log book of Det. Ryan Snow
Case #2798: The Appalachian Murders
When I woke up, I was in such a haze that I couldn’t make out where I was at first. My vision was a blur and all I could hear was the sounds of rushing water. I tried to move my limbs, but each muscle down to my little finger felt like lead weighing down on me, making it hard to breathe.
It felt like forever before the ringing in my ear was slowly swallowed out by a voice crying out from what sounded like a distance only to grow louder as it seemed to approach me from the void I had woken up in. It wasn’t until I heard my name that I recognized it was Kate’s voice, pleading and filled with tears.
I blinked away the blur, finding myself staring up at a water damaged ceiling, a single yellow light brightening the room. My head was pounding and my body still felt heavy, but I moved my head enough to turn and see where Kate was calling from. It took a moment, but I soon realized that she was lying on her back, strapped by her arms and legs to a metal table, looking to me with wide terrified eyes.
“Detective, please help!” She cried out. “Please don’t be dead! Please help me!”
“Bl-Black…Well…” I groaned out as I tried, painfully, to pick myself up off the stone floor, “Black…Well… Ah… Shit… Shit! Ms. Blackwell-“ I was gaining consciousness minute by minute as I finally took in the situation and got to my feet. However, the moment I had gotten to my feet and began running to Kate only to immediately fall back to the floor once again, my ankle getting caught by something heavy. I turned to see my ankle had been shackled to the floor by a cuff and chains. I searched my person to find my coat, along with my Glock had been taken, blood decorating my pants and sleeves. I placed a palm to my forehead to find blood when I lowered it down to look at the warm liquid slithering down from my scalp.
“Ms. Blackwell,” I returned my attention to her, examining what I could from my place on the floor, “are you alright, are you hurt?”
“I… I… I don’t… Don’t think so…” she managed to whine out.
“Where’s Mr. Raines?”
To this question, Kate looked away from me, sobbing being her only verbal response.
I went back to the shackles on my ankle and began trying to yank the chains off from the floor, but they had been well maintained and were too strong for me to simply yank out of the stone. I then quickly looked around the room to find we were in a different basement from the one in Cabin #3, though it had the same kind of layout, the table the only major difference. I also took note of the blood stains that trailed from the sides of the table and the dried pools below.
“I want my mom!” Kate cried out, her voice echoing in the empty room.
“I’ll get you to her, I will, I promise,” I assured her, trying to find something, anything to get us out of this, “do you remember how we got down here?”
“I… I… I just re-remember… Remember you g-getting knocked out… Knocked out by someone and them… Them putting a rag over me… Then everything went black… Then I woke… Woke up… H-Here…” Kate answered, trying to breathe with each sob she let out. “I… I th-thought… y-you… You were d-d-… Dead!”
“I’m not, I’m very much alive and I’m going to get you out of here and back to your parents,” I vowed as I continued looking for a way out of this situation, “we’re going to get you out of here, get you home, and we’ll make sure no one ever gets hurt here ever-“
The sound of the basement door from the splintered wooden steps cut me off. I listened as feet descended down the steps to the basement below, Kate’s ragged breaths the only other sound. The person who came down was a woman. The same exact woman from the photo I had found in her house. She looked as if she had not aged since that photo was taken, despite how long ago it seemed the photo was taken. She had the same exact long, white hair, same tired looking eyes, and same disgustingly pale skin as in that photo and on her profile picture. It was Mrs. Larson.
“Deeeeeetectiiiiiiive,” she spoke in a hoarse voice mixed with what I assumed was her own and several others, both male and female, adult and child, “youuuuuuu shouuuullld haaaaaaaaave juuuuuuusssssst giiiiiven herrrrrrr toooooo meeeeee… Youuuuuuuu diiiiiiiiid nooooooot haaaaaave toooooooo ssssssseeeee thiiiiiissssss…”
“Fuck you!” I shouted, beginning to charge at the elderly woman only to be yanked back by my shackles. “Let us go, right now!”
“Nnnnooooo,” Mrs. Larson replied harshly as she stepped over to loom over Kate.
“Stay away from her!” I barked, trying desperately to break free of my shackles.
She ignored me as she ran a shaky hand down along Kate’s trembling face. “Ooooooooohhhhh, Kaaaaaate… Sweeeeet, sweeeeeeeet, Kaaaaaaaaaate…” Mrs. Larson cooed as she went on stroking Kate’s wet cheek. “Doooooo noooooooot crrrrrrryyyyyyy, dooooooonnnnnn’t thiiiiiiiiiinnnnk oooooofff iiiiiiiit aaaaaaaassssss dyyyyyyyyiiiiinnnnng, thiiiiiiiiinnnk ooooooooffff iiiiiiit aaaaaassssss ssssssssaaaaaaaaaviiiiiiinnng aaaaaannnnoooootherrrrrrrrr liiiiiiiiife.”
“I-I… I d-don’t… Don’t under-understand… w-what th-that… That m-means…” Kate cried, her hands gripping the sides of the metal table beneath her, “P-Please, d-don’t… Don’t kill me… L-Let… Let us-us go!”
“Nnnnnoooooo,” Mrs. Larson answered in the same harshness she used on me, “IIIIIIIII neeeeeeeed youuuuuuuuuu,” she then shot a death glare my way through tired, silver eyes, “aaaaaaaannnnnnd heeeeeeeeee’ssssssss beeeeeeeeeennnnnn nnnnnnnoooooooothiiiiiiiiinnnnnng buuuuut aaaaaa thooooooorrrrrrnnnn iiiiiiinnnnn myyyyyyyyy ssssssssiiiiiiiide siiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnccccccce youuuuuu eeeeeessssssscaaaaaaped meeeeeeee.” She then looked back to Kate with a softer look. “Aaaaaaaassssss fffffoooooorrrrr whaaaaaaaat youuuuuuu caaaaaannnn’t uuuuuunnnnnnderrrrrrssssssstaaaaaaannnnnnd, IIIIIIIIII nnnnnneeeeeeed yourrrrrrrrrr heaaaaaaaarrrrrt tooooooo ssssssssaaaaaavvvvvvve myyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiisssssssterrrrrrrr.”
“The fuck does that mean?” I demanded, still trying to vain to pull my ankle from the chains. “How the hell will Kate’s heart save your sister?”
“Diiiiiiiiidnnnnnn’t nnnnnnneeeeeeed toooooo beeeee Kaaaaaaate’sssssss,” admitted Mrs. Larson, “buuuuuuuut sssshhhhhheeeeee hiiiiiiiiid theeeeee ooooooootherrrrr giiiiirrrrrrllllll ffffffrrrrroooooommmmm mmmmmeeeeee.”
“S-Son… Sonja…” Kate sniffed, the tears still streaming down her face.
“IIIIIIII oooooooonnnnnlllllyyyyy neeeeed fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllle,” Mrs. Larson dismissed Ms. Greymoore’s name, “ffffffeeeeeeemmmmmaaaaaallllle heaaaaaaaarrrrrrrtsssss toooooo rrrrrrreeeeeetuuuuurrrrrrnnnnn mmmmmmyyyyy ssssiiiiissssssterrrrrrrrr toooooo theeeeeeee giiiiirrrrrllllll ssssshhhhhheeeee uuuuuuuusssssed tooooo beeeeeee.”
“That’s a fucking joke right?” I asked. “The hell makes you think eating a female heart will turn your sister back into a human woman? Have you seen what’s happened to your sister?”
“IIIIIIIII knnnnnnnooooooow beeeeeeecaaaauuuuusssssse iiiiiiiiiiit wooooooorrrrrked ooooooonnnnn mmmmmeeeeee,” Mrs. Larson explained, “IIIIIIIIIII waaaaaasssss aaaaaaablllllllle toooooo reeeeeeetaaaaiiiiiinnnnnn thiiiiiiiiiisssssss huuuuuummmmmmaaaaaannnnn fffffffooooorrrrrrmmmm ffffffrrrrrooooommmm eeeeeaaaaatiiiiiinnnnnng theeeeeeee heaaaaaaaaarrrrrtsssss, sssssspecifffffficaaaaaaallllllyyyyyy fffffffeeeeeemmmmmaaaaallllleeee sssssssooooooo IIIIIIIIII mmmmmmaaaaaayyyyyy rrrrrreeeeetuuuurrrrrnnnnn toooo beeeeeiiiiinnnng theeeeeeee giiiiiirrrrrrrllllll IIIIIII uuuuuuusssssed toooooooo beeeeeee.”
“You were dead,” I pointed out, “they found your body up here, you were buried.”
“Theeeeeessssssse sssshhhhheeeeeellllllsssss arrrrrrre mmmmmeeeeeerrreeeellllyyy veeeeeessssssellllllssssss ffffffoooooorrrrrr theeeeeeee sssssspiiiiirrrrriiiiiitsssss weeeee hiiiiiiiiiiide beeeeeneeeeaaaaattthhhh,” Mrs. Larson responded, finally turning her gaze to me, “IIIIIIII haaaaaaad tooooooo maaaake peeeopllllle beeeelieevvvve IIIIIII haaaaaad diiiiiiied tooooo keeeeeep frrrrroooommm theeeee poooooollllliiiiicccce ffffrrrrrrooooommmm pooookiiiiiinnnng aaaaarrrrouuuuuunnnnd aaaaannnnnd rrrrruuuiiinnnnniiinnnng eeeevvvveeerrrrryyythiiiiinnnng.”
“So, let me just get this whole thing straight,” I began as I started rubbing my temples, "when you and your sister starting into… Whatever the hell that thing you call your sister is-“
“Ooooouuuurrrrr sssssspiiiiiirrrrrriiiiiit,” Mrs. Larson corrected.
“Whatever!” I shot. “You found out that eating female hearts turns you two back into human women and to keep police from suspecting you, you pretended to be dead and… What? Just hope a shitty real estate agency would buy your property and you could just… Kill people, people with lives and families outside the mountains?”
“Thaaaaaaaat iiiiiiisssss cooooorrrrrreeeeect…” Mrs. Larson admitted, narrowing her eyes at me.
That’s when I began laughing hysterically, holding my sides that hurt with each harsh breath of a laugh I took. Both Mrs. Larson and Kate looked to me as if I had lost my mind and at this point I was starting to believe I had. Everything I had seen and heard about this entire case would put anyone in the looney bin. And I’m the damn fool who dug too deep into something he had nothing to do with.
“Whaaaaaat’s ssssoooo ffffuuunnnny?” Growled Mrs. Larson, stepping around Kate to stand between us.
“I don’t know what’s fucking funnier, honestly,” I chuckled, running a hand through my hair, “the fact that you thing people won’t be poking around even more when they discover not only is Blackwell missing, but so is a detective and escaped convict all of whom now have ties to these fucking mountains and those cabins, or that you thing I’m more afraid of what you plan on doing with me more than I am when her father finds out I got her in this situation in the first place!”
“Heeeeeee wooooonnnnn’t beeeee aaaaabllllle toooooo doooo aaaaaannnnnyyyyythiiiiiinnnng aaaaaaafffffterrrrrrr IIIIIIIII’mmmmm dooooooonnnne wiiiiiiiith booooooth ooooooooffffff youuuuuuuuu,” Mrs. Larson hissed as she inched closer, “fffffffiiiiiiirrrrrrssssst, IIIIIIIII waaaaaannnnnt youuuuuuuu toooo waaaaaatch mmmmmeeeee kiiiiiiillllll herrrrrrr,” she turned her head to look to Kate who was now just shaking, her eyes seemingly gone dry from the crying, Mrs. Larson then looked back to me, “sssssseeeeecooooonnnnd, IIIIIIII wiiiiillllll ssssssaaaaave youuuuu fffffooooorrrr mmmmmmyyyyy sssssiiiiiisssssterrrrr, oooooonnnnne heeeeaaaaart wiiiiilllll nnnnoooot ssssssaaaaaatissssfffffyyyy herrrr huuuuuunnnnnger.” She took another step. “Uuuuuuuunnnnnllllliiiiiike sssssssoooooommmme ssssssiiiiiibllllliiiiiiinnnnnngsssss, IIIIIIIII caaaaaarrrre aaaaaaboooouuuuut mmmmmmyyyyy ffffffaaaammmmiiiiilllllyyyyyy.”
She stared into my eyes, expecting a reaction and while my blood did somewhat boil at the accusatory statement, I didn’t fully understand what she was getting at. Not until she used that voice. Not until she relived that day with those two familiar child-like voices.
“Screw you, Liam!” She cried out in a voice I remember from my childhood. “I hope you drop dead!”
“Stop.” I demanded.
“Piss off, Ryan!” She shot back in a second boy’s voice.
“I said stop!” I began shouting.
“Help me, Ryan! Please, help me! I’m sorry! Please, Lucky Dime, help me!”
I then lunged toward her, reaching my hands out toward her neck only to be stopped by the shackles as she swiftly, almost without even moving, stepped just out of my reach.
“Fucking bitch!” I screamed out.
“If only you really cared about me, Lucky Dime,” sighed Mrs. Larson as she turned and began making her way to the side of the room where a cart stood in the shadows. She pulled it over to Kate’s side, the cart covered in rusted medical tools.
“P-Please,” Kate wheezed, “p-p-please… I… I d-d-don’t w-want… Want t-to d-d… D-Die, I… I w-w-want m-m-m… My m-mom!”
“Dooooonnn’t woooorrrrryyyyy,” Mrs. Larson soothed, using that mix of different voices, “mmmmmmaaaayyyyybeeee sheeee wiiiillll cooooommmme loooookinnnng ffffooooorrrr yooouuuuu aaaaannnnnd sheeeeeee caaaaannnnn joooooiiiiiinnnn youuuuuuu.”
Kate began to sob, begging and pleading for Mrs. Larson to let her go, thrashing around in her restraints. Telling the older woman that there was no saving her sister and that she was too far gone for this sick ritual to work anymore. I tried to yank at the chains once more, trying to loosen it at least enough to break free and grab at Mrs. Larson.
“Rrrrrrreeeeellllllaaaaax,” Mrs. Larson ordered as she began filling a syringe with some kind of clear liquid from a small bottle, “yoooouuuuuu woooooonnnn’t eeeeeveeennn fffffeeeellll iiiiiiit, thiiiissssss wiiiiiillllll puuuuuut youuuuu toooo ssssssllllllleeeeeep aaaaaannnnnnd wheeeeeennnnnn youuuuuu waaaaaake uuuuuuuup, youuuuuuu’lllllll beeee iiiiiinnnnnn heeeeeaaaaaaveeeennnnn… Uuuuuunnnnnnnllllllessssss youuuuuuu weeeerrrrrrre aaaaaa haaaaaarrrrrlllllooooooot, iiiiiiinnnnnn whiiiiiiiich caaaaaassssssseeeee, mmmmmaaaayyyy Goooooood haaaaaaaave mmmmmmmmerrrrrrrcccccyyyyy ooooonnnnn youuuuuur ssssssoooouuuuullllll… Aaaaannnnnd baaaaaaasssssed ooooonnnn hoooooow youuuuuu drrrrressss aaaaannnnnd theeeee coooommmmpaaaannnnyyyy youuuuuu keeeeeep,” She added as she eyed me, “IIIIIII ssssssaaaaaayyyy youuuuu haaaaaave aaaaa lllllloooooot ooooooffff fooooooorrrrgiiiiiviiiiinnnnng tooooo dooooo.”
Kate continued to cry as Mrs. Larson pushed the needle of the syringe into her arm, pushing down on the plunger as it pierced the flesh. Kate’s loud screams soon turned quieter and her red eyes began to glaze over, but she continued to stay awake, tightening her grip on the table and still begging to be let go.
“IIIIII waaaaannnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch, Detective,” Mrs. Larson spat out my title in Mr. Blackwell’s voice, “IIIII waaaaannnnnt youuuuu toooo waaaaatch herrrrrr fffffaaaaaade aaaaaannnnnnd mmmmmeeeee rrrrreeeemmmmooooove heerr heeeaaaarrrrrt toooooo ffffffeeeeeed tooooo mmmmmmyyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiiissssssterrrrrr,” she then pulled out a recorder, “theeeeennnnnn wheeeeeennnnn IIIIIII ssssssuuuuummmmoooooonnnnn herrrrrrr aaannnnd sheeeee fffffiiiinnnniiiishessssss oooooofffffff heeeerrrrr heeeaaaaarrrrrt, youuuuuuu’llllllll beeeeee neeeeeext.”
“Fuck you,” I snarled, “I hope you and your sister burn.”
“IIIIIIIII’mmmmm gooooonnnnnaaaaa gooooo aaaaallllllerrrrrrt mmmmmyyyyy ssssssiiiiiiissssterrrrrr,” Mrs. Larson turned and began making her way to the basement steps, “ssssseeee youuuuu boooooth ffffffoooooorrrr diiiiiinnnnnnerrrrrrr.”
She then pressed the play button on her recorder and a small, little girl’s voice echoed in the room before Mrs. Larson vanished up the steps.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
Then the door slammed shut.
“De… Tec… Tive…” Kate squeaked out, her breathing slowing.
“Stay awake, Blackwell,” I ordered her gently, looking around frantically for anything to get us both out of this alive, “I’ll get us out of this, I promise, just stay awake, we’ll get out of here, I just need-“
“I’m… S… Sorry…” she breathed out. “I’m… So… Sorry… For… Get… Getting… You… In… To.. This…”
“No, no, this is not your fault!” I assured her. “That psychotic bitch got us both into this shit and I won’t stop until I get us out and put her and her fucking sister are six feet under!”
“W…Wha… What… H… Hap… Happened… To… To L… Liam…?”
I stopped struggling with the chains and turned to look to Kate. Her head was turned to me, her face wet, hands clenching as hard as they could to the table beneath her, the light in her eyes slowly fading second by second. She was trying desperately to stay awake. The medication Mrs. Larson taking hold of her as the minutes ticked by.
I dropped the chains that were in my hands, looking away from her, wanting to stare at anything other than another person I had failed.
“He was killed,” I answered, “we were fishing at a lake nearby… Lake Gaagige… We got into a really stupid ass fucking fight about how which fishing pole we were going to use. I wanted to use our dad’s, but Liam was older and said only men could use dad’s fishing pole… I told him… To drop dead and stormed off… When I got home, my parents dragged me back to the lake and scolded me for leaving him…” I trailed off, swallowing all the tears and screams I’d bottled up since that day. “When… We found… Him… The autopsy… Said he was mauled by a bear… I’ve blamed myself for leaving him there alone… For letting him die and getting killed like that… The last thing I ever told him was to drop dead… I was a shitty brother and now I’m a shitty detective…”
“Is… Is he… Why… You became… A… Detective…?”
I took a deep breath and swallowed the tears again. “No, Blackwell,” I answered, “he’s not why I became a detective… I already knew what had killed him… It was my fault… If I hadn’t been such a brat and stormed off… He might still be alive… And now… What that bitch said…” I replayed Liam’s screams that escaped Mrs. Larson’s mouth. “I’m starting to think I’m getting what I deserve. Karma’s back to kick my ass…”
“H… How… Old…?”
“I was six… Liam was eight…”
“N… N… Not your… F… Fault…”
I turned to look to Kate, her eyes on mine, however faded.
“Y… You were… Only… A k… Kid…”
I took another intake of what little air there was down in that basement. I had spent years trying to convince myself of the same thing, but those moments never got easier for me when those thoughts returned.
“I think you’re just being nice,” I laughed painfully, “but I’m afraid I- and my folks- don’t share the same sentiment.”
I was staring down at where the chains were coming from in the ground, Kate not saying a word for over a couple of minutes. I spun to see if she had fallen asleep and immediately tried to find out how to wake her up again. However, once I our eyes met, I saw that she was still fighting sleep, the last of her tears rolling down across the bridge of her nose and into her hair.
“I… I… I had… Had a c… Crush… O… On… J… Jasper…” she confessed, her voice getting quieter and higher. “P… Paul and… And Son… Sonja knew… I never… Never c… Cared f… For Luke… But I’m… Sure… S… Sonja t… Told him…” she looked like she was going to sob again. “I… I never g… Got the… Ch… Chance… T… To tell J… Jasper… I… Was… Scared… He… He and… P… Paul were friends… And I… I kn… Knew… How P… Paul f… Felt… A… About m… Me… I… I did… Didn’t wa… Want to… R… Ruin… Anyth… Anything…” She took a gulp of air. “I… I ha… Hated L… Luke… I… A… Always… Kn… Knew… He… He was a… Player… B… But Sonja… Said… Said she was hap… Happy… So… So I did… Didn’t wa… Want to g… Get in… H… Her way… B… But Luke d… Didn’t l… Like h… How cl… Close… We… Were… I d… Didn’t w… Want him to make… Make her th… Think I… I was l… Leading her o… On… T… To get them… To b… Break up… Th… Then… That n… Night… Sh… She w… Wanted to… To leave…” She let out two pained gasps of breath. “I… I let them down… I let them all down… Luke pro… Probably thought… Thought I w… Was the one who… Who f… Filled Sonja’s mind… With thoughts of… Of him ch… Cheating… Th… Then I… I got them… All killed…
I… I didn’t deserve them, d… Detective…” she went on, looking away from me to stare up at the water damaged ceiling, “I… I… I was a… Terrible… Terrible friend…”
“Did you read their guest book entries?” I asked.
“N… No… D… Didn’t w… Want to… To r… Read any… Anything p… Private…” Kate answered.
“Jasper didn’t blame you,” I assured her, remembering what he had written in his entry during his time watching Mrs. Larson just outside the cabin, “even when he heard the voices- when he heard Mrs. Larson- telling him to, he didn’t. I don’t think the others blamed you either. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ms. Blackwell, there’s no way you could have known any of this would happen.”
“K… Kate…”
“What?”
“C… Call… Call me… Kate…”
“Aright, Kate,” I let out what little laughter I had left inside me, “so long as we’re the last people we’ll be chatting with, call me Ryan.”
“R… Ryan…”
“If we at all live through this, I’m going to need a long vacation after this,” I said as I turned to look at my shackles again, looking around myself to try finding anything to Get free since a vacation sounded like something to die for at that moment, “do you know any good vacation spots I can book for the fall?”
“Y… You’re… You’re a… Dick…” Kate struggled to laugh.
“I also enjoy pineapple on pizza,” I winked as I reached down to my ankle, ready to break it just to taste that sweet combination of tomato sauce and fruit.
“G… God… I… I c… Can’t… Believe… I th… Thought y… You w… Were c… Cute…”
I sat down on the floor, grabbing my ankle with both my hands. Needing to hype myself up enough to do what I was going to do, I began removing my shoe and sock from the foot, rubbing and squeezing my way up and down the ankle to my toes. I had never broken a bone in my life before this and I definitely never thought I’d do it of my own volition, but this was a desperate time and it definitely called for desperate…
“Wait what?” I turned to look to Kate, finally registering what she had said.
However, just before I could be sure of what I heard, the sound of a hunting rifle going off just above our heads right before we heard the door to the basement swing open and immediately be slammed shut. Both Kate and I turned to see someone stumble down the wooden steps, his clothes torn and body scratched and cut to a nearly deadly degree. I was even shocked he was still breathing.
“M… Mr… R… Raines…?” Kate gasped out.
“What’s left of me at least,” Mr. Raines grumbled as he limped over to Kate and quickly began undoing her straps to the table, “damn thing almost ripped my head off, but one swing of the barrel to its eye and I was able to get away… Can’t say it didn’t do its damage though… I’m… Getting really fucking hungry…”
He shook his head violently before limping over to me. He then raised an eyebrow at me when he saw how I was positioned still on the floor with a bare foot in my hands shackled to the floor.
“I… I was… I… I thought you were-“ I stammered.
“I am,” Mr. Raines interrupted, “at least, I’m on my way there anyway.” He then retrieved my Glock from his back pocket. “I don’t know what that thing did to me, but I’m not gonna make it out of this alive, or the way I came in. It’s a massacre out there by the way. Lot of men in blue bodies out there… Very… Hard to ignore… Sure more will be on their way. So.”
With that, Mr. Raines pointed at my chains and pulled the trigger on my clock, barely giving me time to cover my ears as the sound rung out loudly in the basement. I shook my head, trying to undo the blurry and ringing side effects of the sound of a gun going off near your head. I gave the older man a glare before standing and snatching my Glock from his hands. That’s when I saw Kate shifting herself to the side of the metal table she was no longer tied to, trying to get her limbs to comply with her to help her off and on to the floor.
I ran over and grabbed her just as she nearly stumbled face first to the floor and lifted her up to her feet, her body heavy with lack of keeping herself up.
“Do you think you can walk?” I asked, trying to keep her on her feet.
“I… I don’t… I…” Kate stammered as she tried to push herself off of me while also using using me as a crutch until she could stand on her own. However, she didn’t seem to be able to put any kind of pressure on her legs without falling down.
“Kate?” A girl’s voice called out from above us.
Feeling Kate shudder, I realized that it must have been the sound of Sonja’s voice and Mrs. Larson was using her to keep Kate from running. I quickly swung my arm down behind her knees, pressing the other down on her back as I lifted her up off the floor, my Glock at the ready as I kept it pointed in front of me while my arm held up Kate’s knees.
“She must have heard the gunshots,” I pointed out, “how’d you get past her in the first place?”
“I set the other cabins on fire,” Mr. Raines answered as if it were the simplest of answers, “I had to distract her somehow and give those bodies she’d been eating a better fate than becoming her shit.”
“Are you planning on setting this place on fire too?” I asked.
“‘Course I am!” Mr. Raines exclaimed, seemingly offended I’d even ask. “I already doused it in gasoline, I ain’t wasting all that time!”
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice cried out, getting closer to the basement door. “Are you seriously leaving me here to die alone again!”
“Please… Make it… Stop…” Kate sniffed as she gripped my shirt and burying her face into the fabric.
“Let’s get you two out of here.” Mr. Raines began leading the way to the basement stairs, cocking his rifle as he did so.
“What about you?” I asked, immediately following after him.
Mr. Raines didn’t answer as he stomped up the stairs and kicked the door open to the first floor of the cabin. The stench of the gasoline he had spilled hitting me harshly in my face.
“Kate!” Sonja’s voice, along with a different crescendo of male voices shrieked out as Mrs. Larson appeared from the corner of the hallway where the basement was located.
“Leighton?” A different woman’s voice asked the moment the old woman’s eyes spotted Mr. Raines. I then watched in both shock and confusion as it almost looked like the very skin on the woman melted off to reveal a much younger woman. The woman I recognized as Bonnie Collins. “Leighton… Love is that you?”
Mr. Raines kept his rifle on the vision of the woman he once loved before her murder, but didn’t move or speak.
“Darling, I’ve missed you so much!” The fake Bonnie cried out as she began making her way to Mr. Raines with arms open wide to hug him.
Mr. Raines then lifted his gun up higher, placing his finger on the trigger which caused the vision to stop in her place.
“Leighton?” The fake Bonnie asked. “Baby, it’s me… Bun-Bun… Don’t you recognize me…?” She began to tear up.
“You’re not my Bunny,” Mr. Raines growled before he shot once at the woman.
The fake Bonnie swiftly dodged the bullet, an inhuman hiss coming from an unhinged mouth, revealing a row of long, sharp teeth. The skin of Bonnie then melted off to reveal another woman, a lot younger than the first one it intimidated. The face of one of the victims upon being brought on this case.
“Kate,” the fake Sonja called out, “Kate, what are you doing? Who are these men? Why are they trying to hurt me?”
Kate let out a sobbing gasp, her nails digging into my shoulder with her arm wrapped around my neck.
“Didn’t I suffer enough?” The fake Sonja asked. “First my boyfriend and now you? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore?”
“Shut up!” Kate demanded. “You’re not Sonja! You killed her, you killed all of them! I don’t care what happens to me, but I’m not letting their memories end with you!”
Kate then snatched my Glock from my hand under her legs and shot directly at the fake Sonja’s head. Again the shot missed as the fake vision of the girl slithered out of the way, a frustrated growl of a dog and human escaping it’s mouth. It then zipped to the side, cowering with its back to us on the floor.
“Lucky dime…” A child’s voice then took over. The vision’s skin melting now to a much smaller figure. “Is this what you want? To kill me all over again?” He turned to look up at me, Liam’s face forever eight-years-old staring up at me. “It’s no wonder mommy and daddy hate you now… You were always a shitty brother… Now, I’m gonna starve to death because you’d rather help a couple of strangers.”
“I’m sorry, Liam,” I replied, everyone, including the fake Liam looking to me in surprise, “I left you alone out here and that’s what got you killed by that thing out there and I’m sorry. But, if I’d stayed it may have been both of us and then mom and dad would have no one left to blame but each other. If you had left and I was the one killed, you’d probably be in my shoes instead. I’m sorry for letting you get killed, but I’m gonna make up for it now.”
I then took my Glock back from Kate and pointed it to the vision of Liam.
“Good bye, Liam.”
I shot the gun once again, missing the creature again, however, this time I just kept shooting, Mr. Raines following after. Our different bullets just kept firing, the thing dodging and trying to get closer to us. The creature screeched out at us in a myriad of different voices both familiar and unknown. It wasn’t until one shot from my Glock struck the creatures shoulder and Mr. Raines’ rifle struck its head when the skins of everyone it was trying to turn into all melted off, revealing Mrs. Larson once again.
However, this time, she looked shriveled, older than she looked before. Her face looked deformed, beginning to grow furry, her eyes growing nothing but red, no irises, no pupils, just red. Her hair grew longer, branches like antlers growing painfully out from her skull, breaking the skin as they grew larger. The lower half of her face grew elongated, turning into that of a muzzle of fangs and a drooling mouth.
“You… All… Have no rrrrrrriiiiiight!” A different, unknown voice snarled out from what used to be Mrs. Larson. “People liiiiiike you all… Abandoned me and myyyyyyyyy sister!” The fur growing around this thing grew out short and shaggy, the cloths it was using melting off with the skin and flesh it was wearing. It now didn’t look anything like a human woman. It now took the form of a large wolf mixed with that of a deer, it’s body dog-like with hooves, antlers, and a long, scraggly tail. “You lot abandoned us here! You left us all here to diiiiiiiie!”
Guilt was weighing down on me with each syllable it was growling. Kate looked away from it, burying her face in my neck as Mr. Raines lowered his rifle.
“Nooooow, you’re bringing more here to just leave and let die out here!” It went on, it’s horrifying, broken body shuddering. “Why let them just vanish and die up here when they can bring people like my sister and I back? Give me Kate’s heart and fix what you threeeeeeeeee failed!”
Mr. Raines then handed over his rifle to Kate, placing it down on her stomach as her hands were still wrapped around my neck. The older man made his way over to stand over the thing, its neck creaking like a rusted door as it turned its wolf-like head to look up at him.
“Leighton…” Bonnie’s voice came from the creature. “Give mmmmeeeee her heart aaaannnnd we can be togetherrrrr again… If you eat the deeeeeetective’s we can saaaaaave you tooooooo…”
“My Bunny’s dead,” Mr. Raines told it as he dug in his pocket and took out a carton of matches, “and so am I.”
“You’d burn your wife?” A mix of Bonnie and Mrs. Larson’s voices shrieked as it glared at the match he took from the match box.
“You’re not my wife,” Mr. Raines told it, “and I’ll never see her again.”
“Fooooooool,” Mr. Larson’s voice chuckled, “you’llllllll killllllll us both!”
“With the shit I’ve done in my life, I know you’re taking me to Hell with you,” Mr. Raines growled back as he struck the match on the box, “so I’m sure as fuck not afraid to burn here on Earth with you!”
Mr. Raines then dropped the match to the floor right before the creature and everything around the two of them immediately went up in flames, the fur of the creature catching quickly and engulfing it. An agonized shriek echoed out all around us, the creature thrashing in the fire it had gotten swallowed up in. Mr. Raines then grabbed it by it’s long, furry throat and swung it down back flat the floor, jumping to pin it down.
“Get out!” Mr. Raines cried out to me. “Leave here!”
Not needing to be told twice, I held onto Kate tightly and bolted past the two burning bodies, jumping over the fire as it began growing fast throughout the cabin. I quickly got to the front door and stopped to look back to see Mr. Raines fighting the creature and preventing it from coming after us, it begging for me to bring Kate back and that it would die without her.
“I’ll clear your name,” I called back, trying not to reel back in horror as I saw Mr. Raines skin begin to melt off, “I’ll let people know you didn’t kill Bonnie!”
“I’ll let people know you didn’t… Kill… Liam!” Mr. Raines’ voice called back, him thrashing around with Mrs. Larson as he said my brother’s name in my voice.
I turned back and kicked the front door open, rushing Kate out of the burning cabin. I ran until I got far enough from the smoke, turning back to see all three cabins now on fire, the area around them all ablaze. The only place untouched was Mrs. Larson’s house, all the evidence remaining. I could hear sirens in the distance coming closer. The sounds of shouts from the surviving officers sounding much closer.
“I’m here… I’m here… I’m here…”
I looked to the front porch of Mrs. Larson’s house where her recorder continued to call out for her sister. I set Kate down at the base of a nearby tree and ran to snatch the recorder, shutting it off. I searched around, looking for any signs of Prudence, but it appeared that the fire and the sounds of sirens and voices had scared her off. I ran back to Kate, her eyes closed and her not responding to me calling to her, but after checking her pulse and breathing, I found that the medication Mrs. Larson had given her had finally taken over and she was now fast asleep, the rifle Mr. Raines gave her still sitting on her rhythmically rising and falling stomach.
Letting out a sigh of relief, I leaned against the same tree I set Kate down on and slid down to the ground next to her. The first two cabins were already practically nothing but ash, the last still blazing as I heard the slowly fading screams of Mrs. Larson and Mr. Raines coming from inside.
When the screaming ended all together, the smoke turning blacker as it rose from the flames, I got to my feet and took out my pack of cigarettes as I approached the fires, staying far enough away not to get burned. I opened the pack up before stopping myself as I reached for one of the ten remaining cigarettes inside. I then flung the entire carton into the fires without taking one.
“Save one for me down there, you old bastard,” I told Mr. Raines before making my way back to Kate’s side.
It wasn’t long before the remaining officers found us, looking in confusion at the fires and to me with a sleeping victim in a homicide case on the ground. I told them we’d need to call an ambulance for Kate and that we needed to keep the flames from getting to Mrs. Larson’s house as it held evidence on the case. One officer retrieved his radio and called for an ambulance while a group ran to the house and another went to try controlling the fire as best they could by yanking out any bushes near by and throwing them away from the area around the house.
Luckily, the fire trucks were called long before the fire spread too far, residence noticing it practically the moment Mr. Raines set the first cabin on fire.
As I sat there, keeping Kate held up against the tree we sat under, I listened to the crackling of the fire, the sirens of fast approaching fire trucks and the ambulance, and the sounds of distance, coyote, almost human, howling.
2024.06.01 14:38 xxearvinxx Second Bachelors or Masters for Data Analytics?
Hello,
I am wanting to transition careers to Data Analytics and have been looking at WGU for degrees since they can be done at your own pace online. I currently have a dual major bachelors in Business Administration and Marketing, but spent most of my career so far working in retail management. Would it be more beneficial to obtain a second bachelors degree in Data Analytics or go straight for the masters? Im just not sure if the same fundamentals would be taught in the masters or if I would feel lost trying to learn the basics that most learned while earning their Data Analytics bachelors. I have heard that a second bachelors is almost never worth it compared to a masters, however, the WGU bachelors seems to also come with quite a few certifications as part of the program that the masters does not. I’m not sure how relevant those would be to any potential employers though. What would be the better path to take? Does having a masters in Data Analytics pay more? Will it make landing a job easier than having a bachelors?
Thanks to anyone who is able to provide any insight or personal experience they may have, especially if you are in the data analytics field.
submitted by xxearvinxx to WGU [link] [comments]
I am wanting to transition careers to Data Analytics and have been looking at WGU for degrees since they can be done at your own pace online. I currently have a dual major bachelors in Business Administration and Marketing, but spent most of my career so far working in retail management. Would it be more beneficial to obtain a second bachelors degree in Data Analytics or go straight for the masters? Im just not sure if the same fundamentals would be taught in the masters or if I would feel lost trying to learn the basics that most learned while earning their Data Analytics bachelors. I have heard that a second bachelors is almost never worth it compared to a masters, however, the WGU bachelors seems to also come with quite a few certifications as part of the program that the masters does not. I’m not sure how relevant those would be to any potential employers though. What would be the better path to take? Does having a masters in Data Analytics pay more? Will it make landing a job easier than having a bachelors?
Thanks to anyone who is able to provide any insight or personal experience they may have, especially if you are in the data analytics field.
2024.06.01 14:37 idkguessilljustgirl Final Update: my boyfriend killed my cat and i just can't do this anymore
Hi again everyone it's me, if you remember. I got a couple people in my dms asking how I'm doing and I'm allowed to write another update so... well. Here I am. Almost exactly 6 weeks since the worst 48 hours of my life.
I guess I'll just get into it since I'm using this as a diary at this point but I did also start journaling but journaling feels kind of lonely sometimes. And a lot has happened that I would appreciate everyone's thoughts on because you have all been really helpful. Thank you so much.
TL;DR: I'm back at work and getting on my feet and going to group art therapy. I met one of my boyfriend's old friends who's taking care of him and putting him through rehab. My old friends are coming back around and I'm trying to figure out how to be accountable and better for them. I'm ok, I'm safe, I'm almost happy.
I went back to work on May 1st because I promosed myself I would. I work at a smoothie shop, and we are a small team of 4 who usually work in pairs with my boss (the owner) there during rush hours and the baker who works before any of us come in.
When I came to open the shop that morning, the baker talked with me and asked how I was doing. I don't want people to know a lot but she has always been nice to me so I vented a little to her. I wasn't expecting how good it felt to talk to someone about everything that happened even not super detailed. Especially when she gave me such a big hug which made me cry tbh and told me to be strong and she was so happy I came back and didn't hide. 🥺
After talking to her and the coworker I usually work with, I felt better about therapy and stuff because talking does help. So when I got the call from that group therapy thing I wasn't as scared and didn't chicken out like I thought I would. I went and met people in my group, and it was a good experience. I am still going today.
A few days after the 1st I got a call from an unknown number. I don't normally answer those but with the situation and numbers I've been calling lately I didn't want to miss something important so I answered. A man introduced himself to me (I will call him "Tom") and told me he was a friend of my boyfriend "Luke".
I had never heard of this person before and I was just completely shocked and kind of just said "oh" and he started talking. He said he paid the rent for May for the suite and said he gave notice of ending the rental agreement, and asked if I wanted anything of mine from the place and if so he told me I had until the 11th before he dumped/sold stuff and start cleaning.
I came back to myself after that and was just like "hang on who are you and did you find Luke or what???" Because as far as I knew Luke was still missing and also I didn't know who he was.
So basically, a little background on Luke's life: He's originally from very very rural Quebec. He was taken into custody by the ministry when he was 8 after his mom passed away via sui and tried to take him with her because of his dad's extreme physical and sexual abuse towards both Luke and his mom. There were no foster resources in his town so he was taken to a bigger city and put with a family there.
He got into a lot of trouble with the ministry and police and kept having to get moved around due to threatening behavior towards his foster family (parents and siblings). Eventually he got into drinking and drugs and very badly beat up his younger foster brother and foster mother when he was 11 or 12. He got diagnosed with a conduct disorder and got put into juvie prison.
There was a project starting at that time in BC that was rehabilitation for juvie kids in MCFD custody. Basically they set up group homes that were staffed by social workers and counselors, like a foster home but run by a non-profit group not one family. This is actually something similar to where I grew up, but mine was for kids who "failed to thrive" in single-family care while Luke's was for kids who were criminals or addicts.
Because of his childhood situation and how they got him into custody, the MCFD wanted to see Luke go through one of those programs and hopefully be better. So they told him either the group home or juvie and he picked the group home, and a social worker from BC came to get him and flew him to the city. But in this new city even though he got to go back to public school and do stuff like gymnastics which he missed, he didn't know english as much and didn't have friends. So he started acting out again and got arrested more times.
Back to now. Tom told me that when he was in grade 10 and Luke was in grade 8, Tom joined a leadership club at his high school. Because of Luke's history he was forced into leadership club's "big brother" program with threat of being expelled if he didn't. Tom got assigned Luke in his "big brother" project, and they became friends, and then they became family all through high school and through Tom's first 3 years at uni. When he was telling me this I was blown away because Luke literally never even mentioned him so I finally just asked "well then why don't I know you? what happened?"
Tom said "Well, you know Luke." And I guess I do. Soooo yeah.
Luke showed up at Tom's childhood home a week after the stuff with Peanut, and Tom's parents called 911 because he was erratic and very high. The ambulance came and took him, and Tom went to the hospital to see him after his parents told him what happened.
At this point I had to go catch the bus but I told him we could text and meet and I wanted to help him clean the place too because I felt responsibility. He insisted it would be fine but I insisted I wanted to help so I texted him my schedule and we arranged a time to meet.
When I told my boss about all of this she and especially her husband asked if I could take a friend or if one of them could go. I told them I would ask my coworker since we have the same days off so I wouldn't trouble his busy schedule and definitely my boss should NOT go because she is getting so pregnant it's crazy and she needed to rest and still does need rest.
So my coworker I will call Nerd bc inside joke (who is male and big so that is helpful) agreed and we bussed to Luke's place. There was a car in front I didn't know so I assumed it was Tom's and sure enough he was there when I went in and was dealing with the fridge.
We shook hands and I introduced Nerd who kind of puffed up and made a stupid joke about beating Tom's ass over funny business but tbh the second I met Tom I got pretty OK vibes. But I guess well maybe I shouldn't trust it but really he was ok.
We went separately through the place and I spent most of my time in my "room" which was just a corner of the living room with a curtain tbh but my stuff was there so I packed it into garbage bags I brought. Kinda got flashbacks of packing as a kid which felt... weird tbh. 🙃
It also didn't help that Tom was kind of weird. Like not in a bad way but he would curse and mutter to himself when he found something gross or messed up like bad food, Luke's collection of drug stuff, that kind of thing. But then he would also tell me and Nerd what to do and where to put trash vs other stuff, but ALSO like... acted like he didn't want to touch anything himself? Like super cautious.
He also asked me stuff about my life here and how things were and what me and Luke did together, and I answered what I was comfortable with but he still kept apologizing and telling me he didn't want to know my personal stuff. Like it wasn't bad weird like I said but I think he was rly uncomfortable. He did pull me aside in the bathroom and asked if Luke ever hurt me and I was able to answer honestly and say no, he never even treated me that bad. But when I said that he kind of scoffed and muttered "that bad" like sarcastically and seemed mad so seriously it was. Weird. But idk if I were Tom I'd probably be pretty messed up about all of this so.
I insisted to help clean and Tom went to take the trash out. Nerd said he had to go soon bc he had an exam he had to study for and I said he could go and promised I'd be ok because I didn't get a bad vibe from Tom and Nerd admitted Tom seemed ok too. So he left but told me to call if I needed him bc he wouldn't be SUPER busy.
After saying goodbye I kind of asked Tom after a while what was going on with Luke. I just needed to know I guess? I don't know, I felt a lot of emotion being back there. Like I felt the love for him again and wished he was ok but Tom didn't tell me anything yet about where he was or how he was just that he was alive and reported found to police.
So... Luke's in rehab on the island. Tom talked to him in the hospital after he detoxed and said he explained the situation that happened. Apparently Luke broke down sobbing when he told him how he killed Peanut, and said the words: "I killed Peanut. I killed Peatie." Tom started crying while telling me this and tbh I cried too. I thanked Tom for being there bc Tom said he held him and comforted him and after all the hugs I got after Peanut and how that helped I'm just glad Luke got that too.
But yeah, so Tom told Luke it was time to get it together and Luke agreed. Tom seems hopeful it'll stick "this time," which he explained their original falling out was bc Luke lied to Tom about being sober after Tom put him through rehab once before. I really hope it will too and I am glad he has Tom to help him and pay for rehab bc it's not cheap especially those private places on the island but apparently the first time it failed it was in one of those cheap places in the DTES and Tom told me since he's been running programs there he's seen firsthand how those places are run and says the private is worth the money. Which I think is sad bc so many people are poor and need help too but it's complicated ig.
Tom offered me a ride home and I accepted. He told me before we got into the car that it would be ok if I wanted to text a picture of his license plate and car and ID to a safe person and I didn't even consider that so I felt kind of stupid but I did do that stuff and texted my boss and told her we were leaving. But tbh I wasn't worried. Tom seemed so nice and he gave me so much closure on what happened with Luke and knowing he's in good hands with someone that seems really sweet and put together makes me feel better about all the choices I made and also makes me feel like Peanut's loss has more meaning.
When I got home Tom introduced himself to my boss briefly and then we went in. She asked how everything went and I told her everything I wrote out here except I started crying hard and she cuddled me and told me to take it slow. But unlike other times I've cried since Peanut passed, that cry felt different. Like I was weak and emptied out, but not emptied out of all the good things, more like emptied out of the heavy things to make room for even more. And I haven't cried since. Not over Luke, and not over Peanut.
So I'm doing ok. Me and Tom met up twice more to clean the suite and I joined him for the inspection yesterday with the landlord. It felt good to leave that on a good note too, because the landlord let me move in back in fall which he didn't have to do especially with Peanut, and always treated us well. He told me that even though I wasn't an official tenant I could use him as a reference.
After the inspection yesterday Tom took me, my boss, boss' husband, and their daughter for dinner at a REALLY nice place which we all said was unnecessary but he insisted. He said really nice things to me about how he's grateful I tried so hard to take care of Luke and knows personally how difficult it is to love him. He promised me that nothing was my fault and that I can let it go now because he's going to take care of him and I should focus on moving forward into adulthood without any burdens. Idk maybe you had to be there but the way he said it was like... maybe I'm reading too much into it but it was like he was really specifically saying this stuff for Luke's sake or bc Luke hurt me and he felt like he had to make up to me? But it was nice either way.
Oh and I reconnected with a few of my old friends from high school!! The ones who I had a bad falling out with over Luke and my bad choices. My one friend Taylor reached out to me after I made my story on May 22nd a selfie of me reading that 'why does he do that' book and saying "1 month single 🙏" I guess a mutual mentioned it to Taylor and she added my number on sc again.
It's only kinda been small talk and stuff so far, but I've been trying to be really nice and I'm waiting for it to come up to take accountability for my bad treatment of the friend group but I'm thinking maybe I should say something first bc no one is bringing it up? Idk, if anyonr has advice I would appreciate it a lot bc I really want to be so much better than I am and I was and everything. For Peanut, but also for me.
This is the last update I'll post bc honestly it feels like things are mostly sorted out and I can't help but feel like I'm wasting people's time. 💀 But thanks again everyone and for those who wanted an update I hope you enjoy this freaking novel...
submitted by idkguessilljustgirl to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I guess I'll just get into it since I'm using this as a diary at this point but I did also start journaling but journaling feels kind of lonely sometimes. And a lot has happened that I would appreciate everyone's thoughts on because you have all been really helpful. Thank you so much.
TL;DR: I'm back at work and getting on my feet and going to group art therapy. I met one of my boyfriend's old friends who's taking care of him and putting him through rehab. My old friends are coming back around and I'm trying to figure out how to be accountable and better for them. I'm ok, I'm safe, I'm almost happy.
I went back to work on May 1st because I promosed myself I would. I work at a smoothie shop, and we are a small team of 4 who usually work in pairs with my boss (the owner) there during rush hours and the baker who works before any of us come in.
When I came to open the shop that morning, the baker talked with me and asked how I was doing. I don't want people to know a lot but she has always been nice to me so I vented a little to her. I wasn't expecting how good it felt to talk to someone about everything that happened even not super detailed. Especially when she gave me such a big hug which made me cry tbh and told me to be strong and she was so happy I came back and didn't hide. 🥺
After talking to her and the coworker I usually work with, I felt better about therapy and stuff because talking does help. So when I got the call from that group therapy thing I wasn't as scared and didn't chicken out like I thought I would. I went and met people in my group, and it was a good experience. I am still going today.
A few days after the 1st I got a call from an unknown number. I don't normally answer those but with the situation and numbers I've been calling lately I didn't want to miss something important so I answered. A man introduced himself to me (I will call him "Tom") and told me he was a friend of my boyfriend "Luke".
I had never heard of this person before and I was just completely shocked and kind of just said "oh" and he started talking. He said he paid the rent for May for the suite and said he gave notice of ending the rental agreement, and asked if I wanted anything of mine from the place and if so he told me I had until the 11th before he dumped/sold stuff and start cleaning.
I came back to myself after that and was just like "hang on who are you and did you find Luke or what???" Because as far as I knew Luke was still missing and also I didn't know who he was.
So basically, a little background on Luke's life: He's originally from very very rural Quebec. He was taken into custody by the ministry when he was 8 after his mom passed away via sui and tried to take him with her because of his dad's extreme physical and sexual abuse towards both Luke and his mom. There were no foster resources in his town so he was taken to a bigger city and put with a family there.
He got into a lot of trouble with the ministry and police and kept having to get moved around due to threatening behavior towards his foster family (parents and siblings). Eventually he got into drinking and drugs and very badly beat up his younger foster brother and foster mother when he was 11 or 12. He got diagnosed with a conduct disorder and got put into juvie prison.
There was a project starting at that time in BC that was rehabilitation for juvie kids in MCFD custody. Basically they set up group homes that were staffed by social workers and counselors, like a foster home but run by a non-profit group not one family. This is actually something similar to where I grew up, but mine was for kids who "failed to thrive" in single-family care while Luke's was for kids who were criminals or addicts.
Because of his childhood situation and how they got him into custody, the MCFD wanted to see Luke go through one of those programs and hopefully be better. So they told him either the group home or juvie and he picked the group home, and a social worker from BC came to get him and flew him to the city. But in this new city even though he got to go back to public school and do stuff like gymnastics which he missed, he didn't know english as much and didn't have friends. So he started acting out again and got arrested more times.
Back to now. Tom told me that when he was in grade 10 and Luke was in grade 8, Tom joined a leadership club at his high school. Because of Luke's history he was forced into leadership club's "big brother" program with threat of being expelled if he didn't. Tom got assigned Luke in his "big brother" project, and they became friends, and then they became family all through high school and through Tom's first 3 years at uni. When he was telling me this I was blown away because Luke literally never even mentioned him so I finally just asked "well then why don't I know you? what happened?"
Tom said "Well, you know Luke." And I guess I do. Soooo yeah.
Luke showed up at Tom's childhood home a week after the stuff with Peanut, and Tom's parents called 911 because he was erratic and very high. The ambulance came and took him, and Tom went to the hospital to see him after his parents told him what happened.
At this point I had to go catch the bus but I told him we could text and meet and I wanted to help him clean the place too because I felt responsibility. He insisted it would be fine but I insisted I wanted to help so I texted him my schedule and we arranged a time to meet.
When I told my boss about all of this she and especially her husband asked if I could take a friend or if one of them could go. I told them I would ask my coworker since we have the same days off so I wouldn't trouble his busy schedule and definitely my boss should NOT go because she is getting so pregnant it's crazy and she needed to rest and still does need rest.
So my coworker I will call Nerd bc inside joke (who is male and big so that is helpful) agreed and we bussed to Luke's place. There was a car in front I didn't know so I assumed it was Tom's and sure enough he was there when I went in and was dealing with the fridge.
We shook hands and I introduced Nerd who kind of puffed up and made a stupid joke about beating Tom's ass over funny business but tbh the second I met Tom I got pretty OK vibes. But I guess well maybe I shouldn't trust it but really he was ok.
We went separately through the place and I spent most of my time in my "room" which was just a corner of the living room with a curtain tbh but my stuff was there so I packed it into garbage bags I brought. Kinda got flashbacks of packing as a kid which felt... weird tbh. 🙃
It also didn't help that Tom was kind of weird. Like not in a bad way but he would curse and mutter to himself when he found something gross or messed up like bad food, Luke's collection of drug stuff, that kind of thing. But then he would also tell me and Nerd what to do and where to put trash vs other stuff, but ALSO like... acted like he didn't want to touch anything himself? Like super cautious.
He also asked me stuff about my life here and how things were and what me and Luke did together, and I answered what I was comfortable with but he still kept apologizing and telling me he didn't want to know my personal stuff. Like it wasn't bad weird like I said but I think he was rly uncomfortable. He did pull me aside in the bathroom and asked if Luke ever hurt me and I was able to answer honestly and say no, he never even treated me that bad. But when I said that he kind of scoffed and muttered "that bad" like sarcastically and seemed mad so seriously it was. Weird. But idk if I were Tom I'd probably be pretty messed up about all of this so.
I insisted to help clean and Tom went to take the trash out. Nerd said he had to go soon bc he had an exam he had to study for and I said he could go and promised I'd be ok because I didn't get a bad vibe from Tom and Nerd admitted Tom seemed ok too. So he left but told me to call if I needed him bc he wouldn't be SUPER busy.
After saying goodbye I kind of asked Tom after a while what was going on with Luke. I just needed to know I guess? I don't know, I felt a lot of emotion being back there. Like I felt the love for him again and wished he was ok but Tom didn't tell me anything yet about where he was or how he was just that he was alive and reported found to police.
So... Luke's in rehab on the island. Tom talked to him in the hospital after he detoxed and said he explained the situation that happened. Apparently Luke broke down sobbing when he told him how he killed Peanut, and said the words: "I killed Peanut. I killed Peatie." Tom started crying while telling me this and tbh I cried too. I thanked Tom for being there bc Tom said he held him and comforted him and after all the hugs I got after Peanut and how that helped I'm just glad Luke got that too.
But yeah, so Tom told Luke it was time to get it together and Luke agreed. Tom seems hopeful it'll stick "this time," which he explained their original falling out was bc Luke lied to Tom about being sober after Tom put him through rehab once before. I really hope it will too and I am glad he has Tom to help him and pay for rehab bc it's not cheap especially those private places on the island but apparently the first time it failed it was in one of those cheap places in the DTES and Tom told me since he's been running programs there he's seen firsthand how those places are run and says the private is worth the money. Which I think is sad bc so many people are poor and need help too but it's complicated ig.
Tom offered me a ride home and I accepted. He told me before we got into the car that it would be ok if I wanted to text a picture of his license plate and car and ID to a safe person and I didn't even consider that so I felt kind of stupid but I did do that stuff and texted my boss and told her we were leaving. But tbh I wasn't worried. Tom seemed so nice and he gave me so much closure on what happened with Luke and knowing he's in good hands with someone that seems really sweet and put together makes me feel better about all the choices I made and also makes me feel like Peanut's loss has more meaning.
When I got home Tom introduced himself to my boss briefly and then we went in. She asked how everything went and I told her everything I wrote out here except I started crying hard and she cuddled me and told me to take it slow. But unlike other times I've cried since Peanut passed, that cry felt different. Like I was weak and emptied out, but not emptied out of all the good things, more like emptied out of the heavy things to make room for even more. And I haven't cried since. Not over Luke, and not over Peanut.
So I'm doing ok. Me and Tom met up twice more to clean the suite and I joined him for the inspection yesterday with the landlord. It felt good to leave that on a good note too, because the landlord let me move in back in fall which he didn't have to do especially with Peanut, and always treated us well. He told me that even though I wasn't an official tenant I could use him as a reference.
After the inspection yesterday Tom took me, my boss, boss' husband, and their daughter for dinner at a REALLY nice place which we all said was unnecessary but he insisted. He said really nice things to me about how he's grateful I tried so hard to take care of Luke and knows personally how difficult it is to love him. He promised me that nothing was my fault and that I can let it go now because he's going to take care of him and I should focus on moving forward into adulthood without any burdens. Idk maybe you had to be there but the way he said it was like... maybe I'm reading too much into it but it was like he was really specifically saying this stuff for Luke's sake or bc Luke hurt me and he felt like he had to make up to me? But it was nice either way.
Oh and I reconnected with a few of my old friends from high school!! The ones who I had a bad falling out with over Luke and my bad choices. My one friend Taylor reached out to me after I made my story on May 22nd a selfie of me reading that 'why does he do that' book and saying "1 month single 🙏" I guess a mutual mentioned it to Taylor and she added my number on sc again.
It's only kinda been small talk and stuff so far, but I've been trying to be really nice and I'm waiting for it to come up to take accountability for my bad treatment of the friend group but I'm thinking maybe I should say something first bc no one is bringing it up? Idk, if anyonr has advice I would appreciate it a lot bc I really want to be so much better than I am and I was and everything. For Peanut, but also for me.
This is the last update I'll post bc honestly it feels like things are mostly sorted out and I can't help but feel like I'm wasting people's time. 💀 But thanks again everyone and for those who wanted an update I hope you enjoy this freaking novel...
2024.06.01 14:32 OnePlantain6420 Kri-fam, explained
This is my first post, as someone who's been exposed to lethal levels of kri content for years, here's my understanding of them. Detailed analysis, forgive me.
Akri - tries very hard to look nonchalant but is in fact very... Chalant. 😄 Cares a lot about how she comes across, makes it a point to put out an image of someone who's mindful and soulful. Might have realised too late that being pretty isn't going to cut it in today's media field with highly talented people, so tries to make it look like being a foodie and travelling are actual skills. Also being aesTHetic and organised. Lives for the "good girl " tag, from everyone . Puts in lots of effort and time into this. Kudos. As far from nonchalant as it can get. Will not ask for likes and shares in her vlogs like every other cheap vlogger (she does vlogging for fun and is in fact a film actor who deserves more film projects, as she'll tell you in every interview) , but will in fact give you a very meaningful advice, something that encourages you to be mindful about life. The nonchalance has gone way too far that it looks fake af when she tries to act excited about food, singing, dancing, etc. Takes grandparents for outings and vlogs about it, because how the fans drool over paasam for oldies. Preachy.
Dikri- deeply wounded middle child who didn't get a lot of validation growing up, probably the attention was hoarded by older sibling who proudly admits to disliking the younger one from day one. Might have tried to earn her family's love as a child, which should've been given unconditionally, but never measured up to the stds set by the older one, whose need for approval and admiration made for a sense of rivalry than feelings of siblinghood. Decided it wasn't worth it to try anymore, and turned into a rebel. Seeking validation from outside, falling for love bombing and a guy who'll praise her constantly, treat her like the main character and shower superficial compliments on skin color and beauty. Probably has low self esteem, having been contrasted against siblings who are more traditionally pretty. Will keep telling everyone she's pretty not realising how silly it sounds, because insecurities are loud. Posts for her mother's bday in the most impersonal way 'hbd mathaji' etc, acts rude with family in vlogs, bitter about the partiality and lack of attention given her as a child. Puts on hyper independence as an armour.
Ishkri- mentally checked out from the drama. Looks resigned and indifferent as a result. Seems like a nice person. Probably got a lot of validation from everyone growing up because how pretty can someone be! All the positive attention, halo effect probably helped her grow into that person who's actually low key, secure and content with herself.
Hakri- the pampered one, felt the effect of sibling rivalry the least among them owing to her young age, the older ones seem to want to be Hakris favorite, Akri especially going so far as to say it'd have been nice if it was just herself and the youngest as siblings, the bond would've been better. Seems to be closest to Ishkri, also very out of touch with reality thanks to being very privileged and cute. Comes across shallow but actually cares about being nice to others imho. Should've joined a college in another state away from..
Sikri: that parent who's extremely partial towards whichever child caters to her own needs the most. Openly tells the world who her favorites are, how she prefers travelling with one daughter for the expensive resorts they stay at etc. Probably feels like she could've married better and not for love, since she cannot stop telling everyone about her schooling in Ooty, childhood abroad and overall past glory. Realises her need for luxury through her kids, rewarding the one who affords the most luxury lifestyle for her. Immature. Never encouraged kids to pick up a book and read. Thereby limiting their sense of self to looks/money. Talking in English imo to rub in the fact, ooty educated formerly rich woman fallen to a life of normalcy. Favors the kids who are prettier and more successful. Lives in reflected glory.
Kriku: disdainful towards the wannabe attitude of his partner. Indifferent to the child who seems to pamper mamma just for cookie points and all the antics for attention and approval. Seems to sense the unfairness of parents picking favorites among their children, therefore chooses to hold Dikri close and tries to tell her she's valued. Except for the bjp thing, seems grounded and normal. Might not be very intelligent. But means well.
Tl;dr. Bad parenting resulting in rivalry among siblings. In a culture where toxic parenting is a taboo topic, a family of influencers who show us what not to do.
I wrote this because I know they love reddit as much as any of us. Also to say, people see through it all. All that said. Big fan. Grateful for the entertainment.
To Akri - it's OK to be human and flawed. Reading will enrich the mind and actually add substance. To Dikri - you've won at life, nothing as pretty as being humble.
Op suffers from acute joblessness, as you might have noticed. Not successful or pretty enough, sigh.😔
submitted by OnePlantain6420 to SouthIndianInfluencer [link] [comments]
Akri - tries very hard to look nonchalant but is in fact very... Chalant. 😄 Cares a lot about how she comes across, makes it a point to put out an image of someone who's mindful and soulful. Might have realised too late that being pretty isn't going to cut it in today's media field with highly talented people, so tries to make it look like being a foodie and travelling are actual skills. Also being aesTHetic and organised. Lives for the "good girl " tag, from everyone . Puts in lots of effort and time into this. Kudos. As far from nonchalant as it can get. Will not ask for likes and shares in her vlogs like every other cheap vlogger (she does vlogging for fun and is in fact a film actor who deserves more film projects, as she'll tell you in every interview) , but will in fact give you a very meaningful advice, something that encourages you to be mindful about life. The nonchalance has gone way too far that it looks fake af when she tries to act excited about food, singing, dancing, etc. Takes grandparents for outings and vlogs about it, because how the fans drool over paasam for oldies. Preachy.
Dikri- deeply wounded middle child who didn't get a lot of validation growing up, probably the attention was hoarded by older sibling who proudly admits to disliking the younger one from day one. Might have tried to earn her family's love as a child, which should've been given unconditionally, but never measured up to the stds set by the older one, whose need for approval and admiration made for a sense of rivalry than feelings of siblinghood. Decided it wasn't worth it to try anymore, and turned into a rebel. Seeking validation from outside, falling for love bombing and a guy who'll praise her constantly, treat her like the main character and shower superficial compliments on skin color and beauty. Probably has low self esteem, having been contrasted against siblings who are more traditionally pretty. Will keep telling everyone she's pretty not realising how silly it sounds, because insecurities are loud. Posts for her mother's bday in the most impersonal way 'hbd mathaji' etc, acts rude with family in vlogs, bitter about the partiality and lack of attention given her as a child. Puts on hyper independence as an armour.
Ishkri- mentally checked out from the drama. Looks resigned and indifferent as a result. Seems like a nice person. Probably got a lot of validation from everyone growing up because how pretty can someone be! All the positive attention, halo effect probably helped her grow into that person who's actually low key, secure and content with herself.
Hakri- the pampered one, felt the effect of sibling rivalry the least among them owing to her young age, the older ones seem to want to be Hakris favorite, Akri especially going so far as to say it'd have been nice if it was just herself and the youngest as siblings, the bond would've been better. Seems to be closest to Ishkri, also very out of touch with reality thanks to being very privileged and cute. Comes across shallow but actually cares about being nice to others imho. Should've joined a college in another state away from..
Sikri: that parent who's extremely partial towards whichever child caters to her own needs the most. Openly tells the world who her favorites are, how she prefers travelling with one daughter for the expensive resorts they stay at etc. Probably feels like she could've married better and not for love, since she cannot stop telling everyone about her schooling in Ooty, childhood abroad and overall past glory. Realises her need for luxury through her kids, rewarding the one who affords the most luxury lifestyle for her. Immature. Never encouraged kids to pick up a book and read. Thereby limiting their sense of self to looks/money. Talking in English imo to rub in the fact, ooty educated formerly rich woman fallen to a life of normalcy. Favors the kids who are prettier and more successful. Lives in reflected glory.
Kriku: disdainful towards the wannabe attitude of his partner. Indifferent to the child who seems to pamper mamma just for cookie points and all the antics for attention and approval. Seems to sense the unfairness of parents picking favorites among their children, therefore chooses to hold Dikri close and tries to tell her she's valued. Except for the bjp thing, seems grounded and normal. Might not be very intelligent. But means well.
Tl;dr. Bad parenting resulting in rivalry among siblings. In a culture where toxic parenting is a taboo topic, a family of influencers who show us what not to do.
I wrote this because I know they love reddit as much as any of us. Also to say, people see through it all. All that said. Big fan. Grateful for the entertainment.
To Akri - it's OK to be human and flawed. Reading will enrich the mind and actually add substance. To Dikri - you've won at life, nothing as pretty as being humble.
Op suffers from acute joblessness, as you might have noticed. Not successful or pretty enough, sigh.😔