Mai jali peer se chud gayi

AAJ MERA BITSAT THA 94 AAYE PEHLE HI BATA DE RAHA HU

SUBJECT	CORRECT	INCORRECT
Maths	3	0
English	7	1

Physics	7	2
Chemistry	7	0
Logical Reasoning	10	5

mujhe laga tha all nighter nahi to atleast 2 baje tak padhunga lekin aaj lagta nahin ki 10:30 pm bhi cross karega
Physics : FBD kaise banate hai kounse kounse forces aur wo sab kaise dikhate hai ye padha aur aaj fir for the 3rd time in a row class chod ke chale gaye sir because of some madarchod randi ka bachcha spammer (sir easily gussa bhi ho jaate hai )
Maths : Kuch zyaada padhaya hi nahi it felt just like an extension of yesterday's class majority of the time tah solve karne mein gaya pichle class ka (3 challenger the mujhse tah 2 ban gaya aur baaki ke 2 nahi bane to uska solution dekha)
Chemistry : kuch nhi padha bhot thak chuka hu kal 4 baje uthke padhunga (jo bhi likhta hai padhle 4 baje nahi uth payega to unke liye bhai mein normally 11:00 ko sone jaata hu aur 4:30 baje muh dhoke padhne ke liye baith jaata hu ab to cut to cut strictly 6 hours ya fir usse kam hi sota hu aur fir bhi productive rehta hu)
AAJ THODA BURA LAG RAHA HAI KI AAJ MERI ENERGY EK AISI CHIZ PAR GAYI JISSE MERA KOI FAYDA N HOTA PAR PAISE TO BHARE HAI WO BHI FOR BOTH THE SESSIONS TO JAANA TO PADEGA (Mujhe lagta hai ki papa agli baar jaane se mana karenge kyunki time waste hota hai aur cycle chud jaata hai dekho wo to aaj kismat achi thi ki maths ki class light thi nahi to pura dab jaata jaise wukong daba tha buddha ke haath se)
AGAR AAP LAST TAK PAHUNCH CHUKE HAI TO PLEASE MUJHE S1 S2 O1 O2 KA MATLAB BATA DO MODULES KE UPAR JO LIKHA REHTA HAI
MKC AAJ KI DIN KAL PADHUNGA AAJ BHOT NIND AA RAHI HAI

ANSWER IS YES I AM IN 🫥
-yeah sab 10th mai start hota hai 9th tak toh bot aacha tha padhai mai but suddenly kam padhai karne ki wajah se mera thik tak no. aye it seems okay t me jab mera result aya 10th ka tab mai aur mera papa bank mai tha sudeenly papa ka pass phone aya result aagaya maine bank mai hi result check kiya i was shocked i got only 78% mera papa na mujhe bank mai sabka samne daat diya aur gharpe akee mujhe thode dande maare ab ate hai main story pa ab mai 11th mai tha sudenly my life changes pata nii kaise mi ek cool dude type ban gaya tha meri ek gf bhi bani lets name her disha starting mai hamara relation boht aacha chala [aacha batana bhul gaya usne mujhe poose kiya] badme mujhe uska asli rang dekkhne lage she was not the girl i ever wanted woh chote log aa sath rehti thi not in that sense ab kaise samjhau uska ek ex photo bf tha uski pic bhi leak ho gayi thi uska sath kiss karte hua which is okay phir usne meri ladai start karwadi woh ladka ladka mujhe aisa bolra hai waise bolra hai lte sedha kam karwati thi hamara thoda sexuall attachmment bhi tha badme ussi ki wajah se hamara break up ho gaaya 12th mai brreak up hua usne meri image school mai boht buri kardi jissa mera zeena haram kar diya tha hmari secret baatee saro ko bata diya karti thi meri imagge down karti rehti thi maine aaj tak uski baate kisi ko nahi batayi taki uski image kharab na ho but she did ab present mai ate hai i cleared 12th maine jee mains clear kar liya jaise taise mai boht avarage bacha tha school mai but drop year mai ho gaya jaise taise meri coaching na meri sari preparation kharab kardi uss coaching na mera moddules hi mera dono attempt ka baad diye woh bhi aadhe aur syllaubus bhi complete ni karwaya but now my parents are expecting from me to clear jee advance too which is not possible in just 40 days but mera parents nahi samajh rahe roj mujhhe boht sunate hai mera papa na meri 11th aur 12th dono kharab kardi gov. school mai lagake infact mera papa ne 12th mai mujhe jee bhi nii dena diya aur drop year mai apne pass rakhne ka chakkar mai kisi gandi sii coaching maii admission dilwa diya mera jan attempt mai 55 aye aur phir maine coaching chod di aur khude april atttempt mai padhai karke cuoff clear ki[that coaching ruined my career aur ab 25 bhi mang rahe hai bolre hai apki installment baki hai aur mera modules bhhi ni nera syllabus bhi complete nii karwaya]ab maai roj daaat khatta hu mujhe bola jata hai ki tu nikkama hai aur ab mujhe mera dost akee bolre hai meri ex -gf mera bare mai baate fela rahi hai but mai bhul chuka hu yeah sab par phir bhi yaas dila deta hai ab aisa lagra hai kuch nii bacha zindagi mai i think a really permanent sleep can fix me only you what i am talking about!!! bs ab kuch nii bacha 💌

my biggest mistake was putting didi bhaiyas over teachers just because some guy was iitian and got a rank associated by few numbers which they got probably by their hardwork and coincidences which i judged and fllowing their footpath fucked my jee i am not blaming them but its my responsibily and judgement that i fucked,want to elaborate a little was not knowing about jee till 11th last enrolledd in board coaching as i got my first personal space and device + a little bit of freedom to roam a little bit got s distracted that not even at end day was able to study with my full potential before my boards got 78% in 12 and if i tell you not to flex that i got 97% in 10th boards and won state level maths olmpiad in 9th say yes i was bright enough you could say i was in 1 percent of my class till 10th not involved with any fucking social media a perfect timer waking at 4 going for jogs playing football in morning and to tell i was selected for playoffs for state team untial comes the 2020 the year of my downfall involved i gaming and all and yess somewhere i feel my parents provided more than i deserve every thing i asked they got those things on my table the next day i was having a gaming pc in class 9 when things just started got my ipad in 11th and as i have a brother i got myself a gaming laptop for personal use whatever i haven't used it fully till date so there was plenty of resourses with me but i had only wrong ideas to use it till here life goes good to tell you my parents dont care about my grades till last year (yes i am a dropper aage suno) then thaught kar lega itna overachieverr hai they probably dindnt know much abot jee and all till last year vey much so last year i got 68 %percentile my father asked me to take a addmission anywhere and continue my studies now whre the real downfall starts my all friends were taking drop for jee that where your heros of youtube come in with all iitbombay edits i was so overjoyed by hypes of iits and thiers aluminies that i convinced my parents to take drop he asked me where you want to study yes another climax went to kota for drop year statring of months were good i was so into studies i tell you igot in good routine here gave my first test got a pretty decent marks to my hyping oof iits got more higher but now the teachers started changing and as it was everything new for me i saw students who were previsiosly in kota and then took a drop started to leave classes and doing it on youtube i also went there yes things saterted to worsen got best backlogs you could imagine so nothing futher chapter i was able to study now here comes entry of agent 247 he speaks notes faad do gaand faad do ye kardo woh kardo prepration apne haath me lo maa chudaye coaching wale and yes i did it now padh to leta tha ques bhi bana leta tha ekk test me 187 marks aaye the fir kyuki pure hafte padha tha part test me here comes october relible se koi banda suciide karliya to test were dismised the only motivation for me to study was gone jeendal ki sankalp ki kabhi ye stategy kabhi wo plus kota ka distraction december me test hota hai got 56 marks samjh nahi aa raha kya karu left studies as got preety much fucked by kota food got food poisning and jaundice for 2 weeks fir jee jan attempts me jo aata tha jitna padha tha attempt karke aaya and got 76 percentile machudgayi plus exam bhi pada to kab 27 ki first shift mai bola aage dekhte hai went to coaching for revision waha pe aur dimag kharab kar diye teacher advnace mains ye woh kya karu samjh nai aya wo bhi chud gaya na marks aaye na test accha jaye now next 1 month sankalp mahamanushya shristi ranchna ke pramukh ki guidence wali series leli use padha seriously fir bhi aaye kitne 87 percentile now i am fucked to doo anything kah adddmision ho nahi rah drp barbad ho raha ghar wale dhokebaaz bol rahe ki tum kuch kiye hi nahi
COCLUSION FROM MY STORY

1. ghar walo ki baat mano haar cheez acch nahi hoti jo tum sochte ho unhone jyada duniya dekhi hai tumse

2.apna dimag kholo chutiyo ko pehchano
3.till my experince koi coaching koi material koi book apka selection garentee nahi karti karti hai to consistency one source of knowlege aur preseverence (dhirdhta ) there is nothing called hardwork you are not pilling stones mai bhi yahi bachchodi karta tha chud gaya roj padho thoda padho but every day think it like a food you will never miss it
4.i repeat sirf teachers ko follow karo there is differece between a coach and a player and player cannot teach you how to play a coach can player can win the trophies but only coach can teach you how you win trophies pleaese choose your mentors wisely iitians knew how they can crack jee they cannot tell you how to crack jee there is differnce in state of mind and understanding for each sometimes problem may look same but solutions are totaly different you cannot eat paracetamol to cure cancer every problem have diffrent solution so always prefer only teacher even he is at school level

1. stop following every didi bhaiya you see on social media tum uki college ki fees aur personal aminities ke liye rakhe gaye passive income ho sab saale bussiness minded hai aur apne tag ka paisa wassol rahe i repeat there is differce between you and people like me we get average points rather than topper because he follows teachers only and even someone got good through them its barely passing the cutoffs and most of times the effort of the kids .koyle me kabhi heera bhi mil jata hai.

6.use your mind meri to puri journey mistake lagti hai meri padh lena ho sakata hai kuch uniques galti mill jaye jo tum na karna if want a slight of help do dm shayad kuch help kardo guide nahi karpaunga overachiver nahi hu baki har saal admission kam ka hi hona hai to let them misguide compitition kam hi hoga

1. phone se duri agar selection hai jaruri

my biggest mistake was putting didi bhaiyas over teachers just because some guy was iitian and got a rank associated by few numbers which they got probably by their hardwork and coincidences which i judged and fllowing their footpath fucked my jee i am not blaming them but its my responsibily and judgement that i fucked,want to elaborate a little was not knowing about jee till 11th last enrolledd in board coaching as i got my first personal space and device + a little bit of freedom to roam a little bit got s distracted that not even at end day was able to study with my full potential before my boards got 78% in 12 and if i tell you not to flex that i got 97% in 10th boards and won state level maths olmpiad in 9th say yes i was bright enough you could say i was in 1 percent of my class till 10th not involved with any fucking social media a perfect timer waking at 4 going for jogs playing football in morning and to tell i was selected for playoffs for state team untial comes the 2020 the year of my downfall involved i gaming and all and yess somewhere i feel my parents provided more than i deserve every thing i asked they got those things on my table the next day i was having a gaming pc in class 9 when things just started got my ipad in 11th and as i have a brother i got myself a gaming laptop for personal use whatever i haven't used it fully till date so there was plenty of resourses with me but i had only wrong ideas to use it till here life goes good to tell you my parents dont care about my grades till last year (yes i am a dropper aage suno) then thaught kar lega itna overachieverr hai they probably dindnt know much abot jee and all till last year vey much so last year i got 68 %percentile my father asked me to take a addmission anywhere and continue my studies now whre the real downfall starts my all friends were taking drop for jee that where your heros of youtube come in with all iitbombay edits i was so overjoyed by hypes of iits and thiers aluminies that i convinced my parents to take drop he asked me where you want to study yes another climax went to kota for drop year statring of months were good i was so into studies i tell you igot in good routine here gave my first test got a pretty decent marks to my hyping oof iits got more higher but now the teachers started changing and as it was everything new for me i saw students who were previsiosly in kota and then took a drop started to leave classes and doing it on youtube i also went there yes things saterted to worsen got best backlogs you could imagine so nothing futher chapter i was able to study now here comes entry of agent 247 he speaks notes faad do gaand faad do ye kardo woh kardo prepration apne haath me lo maa chudaye coaching wale and yes i did it now padh to leta tha ques bhi bana leta tha ekk test me 187 marks aaye the fir kyuki pure hafte padha tha part test me here comes october relible se koi banda suciide karliya to test were dismised the only motivation for me to study was gone jeendal ki sankalp ki kabhi ye stategy kabhi wo plus kota ka distraction december me test hota hai got 56 marks samjh nahi aa raha kya karu left studies as got preety much fucked by kota food got food poisning and jaundice for 2 weeks fir jee jan attempts me jo aata tha jitna padha tha attempt karke aaya and got 76 percentile machudgayi plus exam bhi pada to kab 27 ki first shift mai bola aage dekhte hai went to coaching for revision waha pe aur dimag kharab kar diye teacher advnace mains ye woh kya karu samjh nai aya wo bhi chud gaya na marks aaye na test accha jaye now next 1 month sankalp mahamanushya shristi ranchna ke pramukh ki guidence wali series leli use padha seriously fir bhi aaye kitne 87 percentile now i am fucked to doo anything kah adddmision ho nahi rah drp barbad ho raha ghar wale dhokebaaz bol rahe ki tum kuch kiye hi nahi
COCLUSION FROM MY STORY

1. ghar walo ki baat mano haar cheez acch nahi hoti jo tum sochte ho unhone jyada duniya dekhi hai tumse

2.apna dimag kholo chutiyo ko pehchano
3.till my experince koi coaching koi material koi book apka selection garentee nahi karti karti hai to consistency one source of knowlege aur preseverence (dhirdhta ) there is nothing called hardwork you are not pilling stones mai bhi yahi bachchodi karta tha chud gaya roj padho thoda padho but every day think it like a food you will never miss it
4.i repeat sirf teachers ko follow karo there is differece between a coach and a player and player cannot teach you how to play a coach can player can win the trophies but only coach can teach you how you win trophies pleaese choose your mentors wisely iitians knew how they can crack jee they cannot tell you how to crack jee there is differnce in state of mind and understanding for each sometimes problem may look same but solutions are totaly different you cannot eat paracetamol to cure cancer every problem have diffrent solution so always prefer only teacher even he is at school level

1. stop following every didi bhaiya you see on social media tum uki college ki fees aur personal aminities ke liye rakhe gaye passive income ho sab saale bussiness minded hai aur apne tag ka paisa wassol rahe i repeat there is differce between you and people like me we get average points rather than topper because he follows teachers only and even someone got good through them its barely passing the cutoffs and most of times the effort of the kids .koyle me kabhi heera bhi mil jata hai.

6.use your mind meri to puri journey mistake lagti hai meri padh lena ho sakata hai kuch uniques galti mill jaye jo tum na karna if want a slight of help do dm shayad kuch help kardo guide nahi karpaunga overachiver nahi hu baki har saal admission kam ka hi hona hai to let them misguide compitition kam hi hoga

1. phone se duri agar selection hai jaruri

mai apni mummy se abb utna share nahi kar pati jitna pahle karti thi kyunki meri life meai mujhe sabse jyada judge wohi karti hain plus wo apne aap ko hamesha right samajhti hai aur kabhi kabhi indirectly yea bhi kah deti hai ki meri wajah se hi wo doctor nahi ban paayi kaash wo yea samahjti ki mai bhi insaan hu aur ki insaan perfect nahi hota wo meri best friend ke khilaf bhi mujhe bhadkati hai kyunki mai usko sab batati hoon onki jagah wo baat baat pai tantrum deti hai wo mujhe chemistry padhane ke liye firce karti hai but mai isliye nahi maanti kyunki wo eak compound na yaad aane par bhayankar prakar ke taane deti hai aur aaj tak mene aisa kuch lafde wala kiya bhi nahi hai fir bhi unko shak hota rahta hai meri choti bahen bhi unhi ke side pai rahti hai kyunki mummy usko obviously jyada favour karti hain mai abhi 12th mai hoon waise hi bohot stress hai 2 min ka break leti hoon toh taane dene lag jati hai fir padhne ka man hi nahi karta kyunki kitna bhi padhlu mai unke liye kabhi enough nahi hoga subah se padh rahi thi mai duphar mai khana banake khate samay thoda laptop dekh rahi thi kyunki mumma so rahi thi par pata nahi achanak uth gayi fir taana maarne lagi ki aag laga dungi mere man mai aya ki boldu ki mujhe aag laga do but mene kuch nahi bola abhi bohot jor se ronna aa raha hai but nahi ro sakti kyunki wo dekhengi toh bolengi ki bohot drama kar rahi hai iska toh roj ka hai (to my sister aur pahle bhi bol chuki hai ) but koi nahi bas eak saal ki baat hai bas kisi tarah jee nikal lu fir yahan se toh bahar hi lungi college aur jee ke liye kuch tips ho toh bhi bata dena guys abb padhne ja rahi hoon iss se pahle mumma wapis ana maare

yesterday i met two friends jinki neet abhi khatam hui. ek friend pehle se hi topper hai and she is expecting 690. Dusri friend is kind of average, usne drop liya tha kyuki last attempt ke pehle uske family me deaths ho gayi thi to perform nahi kar pai. iss baar usne decide krke rakha tha konsi college me jaana hai and that college cut off is 350 marks. usne 350 jitni hi padhai kari and now she is expecting 370. I congratulated her too and said acchi baat hai tune decide kar ke rakha tha vo achieve ho gaya.
first friend said kaha accha hai, 50% marks ka bhi target nahi rakha tha isne. My point is, success ka definition is different for everyone. We are not living the same life and we arent all toppers. SO if the second girl set a lower target but achieved it and is HAPPY with it, to tumhari kyu jal rhi hai?? Lekin mai jeetard hu so maybe neet me utna pata nahi chalega. What are your thoughts on this?

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ANSWER IS YES I AM IN 🫥
-yeah sab 10th mai start hota hai 9th tak toh bot aacha tha padhai mai but suddenly kam padhai karne ki wajah se mera thik tak no. aye it seems okay t me jab mera result aya 10th ka tab mai aur mera papa bank mai tha sudeenly papa ka pass phone aya result aagaya maine bank mai hi result check kiya i was shocked i got only 78% mera papa na mujhe bank mai sabka samne daat diya aur gharpe akee mujhe thode dande maare ab ate hai main story pa ab mai 11th mai tha sudenly my life changes pata nii kaise mi ek cool dude type ban gaya tha meri ek gf bhi bani lets name her disha starting mai hamara relation boht aacha chala [aacha batana bhul gaya usne mujhe poose kiya] badme mujhe uska asli rang dekkhne lage she was not the girl i ever wanted woh chote log aa sath rehti thi not in that sense ab kaise samjhau uska ek ex photo bf tha uski pic bhi leak ho gayi thi uska sath kiss karte hua which is okay phir usne meri ladai start karwadi woh ladka ladka mujhe aisa bolra hai waise bolra hai lte sedha kam karwati thi hamara thoda sexuall attachmment bhi tha badme ussi ki wajah se hamara break up ho gaaya 12th mai brreak up hua usne meri image school mai boht buri kardi jissa mera zeena haram kar diya tha hmari secret baatee saro ko bata diya karti thi meri imagge down karti rehti thi maine aaj tak uski baate kisi ko nahi batayi taki uski image kharab na ho but she did ab present mai ate hai i cleared 12th maine jee mains clear kar liya jaise taise mai boht avarage bacha tha school mai but drop year mai ho gaya jaise taise meri coaching na meri sari preparation kharab kardi uss coaching na mera moddules hi mera dono attempt ka baad diye woh bhi aadhe aur syllaubus bhi complete ni karwaya but now my parents are expecting from me to clear jee advance too which is not possible in just 40 days but mera parents nahi samajh rahe roj mujhhe boht sunate hai mera papa na meri 11th aur 12th dono kharab kardi gov. school mai lagake infact mera papa ne 12th mai mujhe jee bhi nii dena diya aur drop year mai apne pass rakhne ka chakkar mai kisi gandi sii coaching maii admission dilwa diya mera jan attempt mai 55 aye aur phir maine coaching chod di aur khude april atttempt mai padhai karke cuoff clear ki[that coaching ruined my career aur ab 25 bhi mang rahe hai bolre hai apki installment baki hai aur mera modules bhhi ni nera syllabus bhi complete nii karwaya]ab maai roj daaat khatta hu mujhe bola jata hai ki tu nikkama hai aur ab mujhe mera dost akee bolre hai meri ex -gf mera bare mai baate fela rahi hai but mai bhul chuka hu yeah sab par phir bhi yaas dila deta hai ab aisa lagra hai kuch nii bacha zindagi mai i think a really permanent sleep can fix me only you what i am talking about!!! bs ab kuch nii bacha 💌

Hello everyone 2024 aspirants here ..now thinking of taking drop .
Background - got 89.7%tile in jee mains and 89.4% in April did coaching and 72.4% in Boards(Chemistry and Cs ducked me up) Thought of taking improvement exam in chemistry.and got 91%in 10th
I didn't feel any forms for any exams , now I am thinking of taking drop but , parents are somewhat supportive but also telling me you will waste your year because you will become bored and will don't have enough drive for exam, you will not able to sit that much in home ,and also being somewhat like
"tumhe aage khud dekhna hai tumhe Jo sahi Lage karo , bahut baccha ka nahi nikalta drop year, tumhara under bahut overonfidence tum ke rahe tha boards mai 90% Aram se aayenge(. My mother know someone who get 75%tile in drop year )
They know me and they didn't even scold me much for scoring low in boards but I know they are very disappointed and my strict father is very enthusiastic about my jee that I will appeared for jee advance and can get atleast some branch some in iit(got ews quota) . But now because of seeing my boards marks , he also feel disappointed but never directly talk about my result but asked me
"what will you do in future?, you can still try in other colleges beta , maybe they will erase criteria this year, you can still try for dtu , I will ask my co-workers " which makes me feel more guilty.(We never talk to each other very much but i know he care about me)
But one side of my brain wants to take drop for exam and want try again and make them proud and make money, but other side tell me you don't have enough patience , you have addictive personality, you are not consistent ( in my two-years of jee preparation, i did preparation with emotion when I got motivation i study for 10-12 hours, when I don't even study for half an hour, i didn't take dummy with coaching {didn't want to burden parents with more money related problems} , and every last 5-10 days of both first and second didn't study much)
And my parent made me talk to someone who says "aagar destiny mai hota toh 2 saal Mai hi ho jata , ek aur saal barbad kyu kar raha hai ,iise acha koi 3rd tier college lake profile aur experience banao woh miene rakhtha hai baad mai.ya fir side by side mba karna, waise bhi drop year waste ho gaya toh baad Mai muskil ho jaayegi, there is someone who cleared jee without coaching and you can't even with coaching,"
And when I try to talk about my side of story about getting exposure, good placement, good peer group and high fees for private institute
He said " tumhe abhi itna experience nahi , tumhe meri baat abhi samjmai nahi aayegi, Jo karna ha Karo tum"
Which makes me more helpless but also inner desire to prove them wrong, i talked to my coaching institute maths sir , he say you can take drop but remember the first four months are most important and other small talks(he is from iit kharagpur and now preparing for upse) and i even finalise the decision of talking drop but .... When I read someone post on this subreddit that said " it was my bad decision of taking drop and i regret it and other also tell that drop that talking drop is bad decision and "peheli ho Kai college le Lena chahiye "
which makes me even for overwhelm and now I am writing this post telling all of you all my experience, and one more thing about my addiction - never use Instagram, Snapchat or other social media expect little bit of reddit ( mostly MartialMemes) some amount of quora(post on other jee aspirants success stories and life in iit) but most chunk of my time goes to reading light novels and translated Chinese and kr webnovels and fanfiction,(more than 1500+hours of reading) and YouTube documentaries and iceberg , deep dives video and my recent addiction to YouTube shorts
My syllabus progress (mains level){safe estimate}
Physics ( mechanical done(rotation some concepts) wave/shm done , ray optics half , wave optics zero , modern (80%) thermo and ktg some concepts, liquid done , semiconductor (mains part done), pure magnetism (80%), emi and em waves (90%)
Chemistry - (inorganic 45%) , organic(30%) maybe even less, physical(65%)
Maths-(algebraic -70%) , coordinate(10-15%) only know circle(some concepts) and straight lines), binomial (80%) , Pnc(60%) , probability(50%) , calculus(15-20%)only because of functions and limits.
All my data as truthfull as i can be
Thankyou for reading my rant and if you have any advice please give about my decision on drop whether to take or not(80%sure) annd if yes please my fellow dropper brother tell me about " jo chizze(tips) agar tumhee drop year ke starting mai pata hoti tumhari rank aur improve ho sakti thi (written in hindi because I can't able to translate this sentence in English) Also wants to ask which is better self study , online course(unacadmey/physics wala, or offline coaching(will try but I don't have face or balls to ask my family onxe again for preparing jee)
Please try to give you valuable insight if you can
Thank you

storytime.
din tha accounts aur business ka, mahaul tha tense aur anxious kyunki math aur gt fuck karke baithe the hum. do or die ka naara lagakar ratri jaagran karne ke baad thodi ummeed si dikhai de rahi thi.
fast forward, centre. 'global widom schol'. jo thodi ac classroom ki khwaish thi use marte hue mehsoos kiya humne. par abhi meri katni baaki thi. waah, iss school mein toh benches hi nahi hain 😊. computer lab wali kursiyan thi humare seats, library wale stools the humare tables. classroom itna chhota ki koi 2 kadam chal ke bhid jaye bkl diwaar se. stool ko straddle karke, manspread karke baithna pada jaise porno mein the hum.
fir shuru hui bakchodi invigilators ki. ek toh theek thi, doosri saali bhais ki aulaad iski maa ne kya khaakar paida kara tha bhagwan jaane, moti shakal dekh rahi thi sirf. saala paper shuru ho chuka aur chudail ki bacchi paper hi nhi deri, chai pee rahi thi suar kahin ki.
finally baati paper jab bacche chillane lage, fir sign karane laati 5;10 pe accounts ke paper ke beech. saala yahan gaand fatt rhi hai aur ye mothers name likhwa rahi thi madarchod teri aakhein noch lungi mai. fir kehti 'beta time 4;45 likhna' maine toh likh diya bhenchod 5;15. ab karaa change. fir mujhe stink eye de ke chali gayi.
paper toh accha gaya lekin khoon ubalta hai uski shakal yaad karke. note- i should become a writer. dhanyavad.

ek do dino se nightmares aa rhe raat ko, pehli baar ho rha hai aisa. abhi bhi isi wajah se neend khuli aur ab darr lag rha hai sone mein.
exactly yaad nahi reh rha kya dikh rha hai, par death ke baare mein bohot kuchh hai. ek baar kisi ocean mein thi mai, idk. jab aa rhe hai uske baad neend khul rahi hai aur chest mein dard ho rha hai. ek baar rote rote neend khuli.
idk kyu aa rhe hai, par last 1-2 mahino mein meri mental health bekar ho chuki hai. heartbreak, cousin ki death, loneliness, etc. parents ko nahi bata sakti, i tried par wo nahi samajh rhe. usually kisi friend se baat kar leti hu distract karne ke liye, par ab sab soye hai to yaha aa gayi distraction ke liye.
idk kyu post kar rhi, needed to get it off my chest ig. advice hogi to de do, i do need friends anyway.
ji haa mai subah jaldi uthke walk karti hu, paani peeti hu, socialise karti hu, to aisi advice mat hi dena😭

Writing this post today, cuz yesterday kuch kehne layak nahi tha mai
Yesterday had my Phy and Gadit ka exam, literally papa ne ek ghante bike chalai to drop me to centre and he waited there for me about 5hrs. Papa recommended me ki metro se chalte hai traffic nahi rahega but I insisted ki bike se challo fir traffic me overtake karlenge(google maps par metro was showing twice as time from bike), within 10min mujhe samajh aagya Papa ne metro se jaane ko kyo kaha, the fucking heatwave of Delhi oml bhai
Toh main baat yahan se start: As soon as we reached at front of our centre gate, Papa ne jaise hi bike roki to park it somewhere, the first thing I saw was a girl talking to a boy(shayad bhai tha uska) and suddenly she started falling and that boy tried holding her by placing his both hands at back of her neck, but grip choot gayi and right in front of my eyes I saw that girl falling and tabhi zor se *clack* sound hui and her head literally bounced like a feet obove ground. Tabhi sab logo ne dekha, I just went numb(bhai its srsly my first time seeing it, and mai kuch soch hi nahi paya), everyone rushed towards her. She was unconscious, then people started to pour cold water on her head(garmi was next level). Then mai bata nahi sakta bhai... ahh bas 10min baad cheeze theek hogayi. I didn't saw where the girl went as it was sooo crowded.
And agar baat ho mere centre ki, toh they didn't gave a fuck, meri toh frisking vagera kuch nahi hui, bas biometrics and khatam. Phy and Maths ke beech me mile break me they gave us basketball to play... paani bohot kharab tha bhai, literally it was yellow
Just a request: bhai paani ki thandi bottle leke jaaya karo apne saath, mai bhi stud banda hu(self claimed) par exam time me no lavdebaazi
I just can't tell it in words what I saw... like jo chaos vagera hua tha and all.
Tl;dr: OP saw a girl fall literally perpendicular to ground and it haunted the noob OP

I have spent the first 10 years of my life sleeping on floor, right beside my parents bed and hoping that one day it will all change. I will have a better life coz bollywood taught me that. My parents got me admitted in this okayish private school, jiske fees ka jugaad karna was the toughest thing every single quarter. Hamesha udhar hi lena padta tha. Isliye, I tried my best to study hard and top the class every single time. I did that. I also helped my mom with her chores coz health issues kaafi the unko. Dad could and would never buy any health insurance, no savings but haan 30-40 lakhs ka loan he has saved for us, so maybe yay!! On top of it, I got admitted into this psychology course and I understood too much about my grief, inta jitna janna meri sehat ke liye bilkul accha hi nahi tha. mera bhai is exact dad ka photocopy. Essentially na ma ko kabhi izzat milti na mujhe. My dad wanted me to pursue UPSC but lenders ghar aane lage aur cheezei bhaut kharab ho gayi. I had to take up jobs in college to pay for fees and then had to support my dad. Padhai ne poori back seat leli aur poora focus bus paisa earn karna. 9-5 ke baad jab ghar aao to mummy apni zindagi ko kosti, bhai hamesha earphones lagake baitha rehta aur mai unki sunti. Kayi baar is chakkar me papa se bhot behes bhi hui aur bhai se to pucho hi mat. Shayad chup rehna hi behtar hai. Then, I relocated to BLR for sometime (I was making almost 1+ lakh/pm and I thought acche logon ke beech me rehne se maybe mai kuch accha kar paun). 7 months baad maa ki tabiyat zyada kharab ho gayi hai aur ab mujhe wapas yahan aana pada. Ghar ke haalaat dekhti hun to man karta hai ki apna sar kahin jaake fod lun. This doctor has recommended a surgery jo ab unavoidable hai. sadly, na mediclaim hai aur na hi paise. Wo 7 mahine pehli baar maine life me peace feel kiya. subha uthke bina lade brkfast milna, raat ko khane ke baad bina roye sona. paise mere paas BLR me bhi nahi the kyunki mai sab ghar bhijwa deti except rent and for minor grocery lekin calmness was bharpuur.
Kaash mai apne apko bacha paun.
On that note guys, ye bus rant hai. shayad is ummeed se ki koi relate kar paye, ya pata nahi. Sorry agar kisi ka keemti waqt waste hua ho.

So, mai unacademy mai hu and mai bahut acche se lectures attend kar raha tha aur jo homework sir dete karleta tha. But fir ek din mujhe laga ki zoology ki class kyu nahi ho Rahi itne din se. I checked on the teacher's page and saw ki chapter chalu ho chuka hai aur usme 4 lecture ho chuke hai each of 2 hours. Meri fatt gayi I started completing it on 1.5x, but ended up missing a session of physics. Ab usko complete karne jaaunga to koi aur chhut jayega.
To kya ye cycle aisa hi chalta rahega ya usko break karne ka koi tareeka hai.

I'm 22(f), a software engineer, but I work from home so I stay with my family. Me and my mom never had a great relationship from the starting because she never seems to understand me and we almost disagree on each and every topic. So naturally, I don't tell her much what's going on in my life even when we live under the same roof. Now few weeks ago me and my brother joined gym together. Mind you, my brother is 5 years younger than me. We took 1 month membership as I was not sure how consistent I will be plus my brother is shifting to a new city for his college next month. Now after going for almost and about 2.5 weeks i want to extend my membership and maybe even take a personal trainer. I told my mom that and she's furious. She doesn't want me to take a personal trainer and also maybe discontinue the gym as my brother will be not there anymore. I seriously can't understand why. I told her that I'm given a diet, she didn't even listen that what the diet was and she says that I'm not fat so I don't need to follow diet and all. Also she's concerned that i'll gain weight once I leave the gym. It made me snap and we had a fight. And now here comes the drama "tum jaise baccho ki to maa honi nahi chahiye" "jo karna hai Karo meri aisi bhi konsi value hai" "ek kaan se suno meri baat aur dusre kaan se nikaldo, mai mar gayi hu yahi socho" All this just because I want to be fit, follow a diet and take a personal trainer that too with my own money. Now I have decided to do things my way, as i always have, to lie and hide. I'm going to take a personal trainer and not going to tell her that. But abhi diet ka idk how to manage. Any advice will be helpful.

So I am a dropper neet ke liye thi but didn't go as planned mera mood medical se 12th mai he uth Gaya tha I wanted to give other exams and try out my luck but parents said fuck you. Nahi hoga Terese neet mai he reh i so badly wanted to give clat and uceed I am not disappointed with neet tbh this exam doesn't intrest me anymore maa chudaye sunn lungi gaali mereko nhi karna aur science wagera so I thought of appearing in cuet guess what woh bhi chud gayi 🤣🤣i hopped ki shyd cuet deke stream change karlu 🤣 no i don't think mujhe off campus bhi milega man. I am so tired i want to move on from this entrance exam stuff the anxiety loneliness the frustration I am tired of it honestly. I wish maa baap ne mujhe clat dene diya hota at least let me try then they say they never stopped me from doing anything LIES🤡 manipulative ahh shit told me I would be jobless I would be begging on road agar law mai gayi toh said log kya bolenge? And then they've the audacity to say to my relatives ki humne toh ise kisi cheez ke liye nhi roka 🥺 my ass. I TRIED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SCIENCE BHAI I COULDN'T MY BRAIN IS ROTTEN ITS FRIED AUR NHI HOTA I DONT FEEL THE SAME WAY FOR THIS SUBJECT LIKE I USED TO IN 10TH COMPETITIVE EXAMS HAVE RUINED IT FOR ME PLEASE LET ME MOVE ON FROM THIS GOD PLEASE i tried all I could. abhi ke liye chill mar leti cause I know the moment the results are dropped mom and dad would come for my ass saying I am disappointment (which I am) I have wasted their time and money. The efforts don't matter bro not even to your parents they only And only want results I am telling you no one appreciates or sees it they just want results. Prepration ke time they might say oh we are with you ho jayega we will never scold and boom the moment they see the results they'll come for your ass left right I have so much in my chest and they don't even want to listen I am tired of science please please let me move on I am not that smart for science please 🙏

Iss saal neet diya tha pheli baar 610-615 kuch bn rhe(easily 650+ aa jate)1 ghante 20 minute mein bio+chemistry poori krli thi fir pta nhi kya hua mujhe jab omr fill krne lga kuch jyada hi baar baar question padhne lga kyonki coaching ke test mein mai bhot baar question acche se na padhke question galat kr deta tha aur fir agle aadhe ghante mein maine bss 34 question fill kiye omr mein aur fir pta pta chla ki ab to time hi nhi rha to jaldi jaldi mein 3 question galat fill ho gye aur fir baaki ke question fill kiye uske baad kuch 50-55 mein bach rkhe the isme poori physics krni thi lekin ye madarchod teachers ne last mein itna pareshan kiya 2 baar sign karvaye and baar baar time btake concentration alag se kharab kr rhe the aur fir mai chud gya last mein.pta nhi college milega ya nhi
Ab padhne ka mann hi nhi krta kyonki aisa lgta hai ki sab kuch to aata hai.kya kru ab?

CUET related post agar agar kuch nahi likhna toh please atleast upvote🙏🙏ar aaj cuet tha aur PCM waala hu. Toh maine 40 me se 35 apne waale kiye aur mujhe laga applied math waale bhi karne honge hume toh maine woh bhi kar diye😭 woh khaali commerce ke questions the ab lag raha chud toh nahi gayi meri exam. Inhone paper late baate aur maine seedhe solve karna chalu kar diya😭. Please koi batao kya ho sakta hai😭😭??

Yaar aaj cuet tha aur PCM waala hu. Toh maine 40 me se 35 apne waale kiye aur mujhe laga applied math waale bhi karne honge hume toh maine woh bhi kar diye😭 woh khaali commerce ke questions the ab lag raha chud toh nahi gayi meri exam. Inhone paper late baate aur maine seedhe solve karna chalu kar diya😭. Please koi batao kya ho sakta hai😭

so, mera bhai BHU se hi ug and pg kiya hai. and papa chahte the ki drop ya jo krna hai karo, but pehle iss saal BHU nikal lo. and mai mahan, pehle sirf neet mein hi lagi rahi, and neet deke aayi to jo slump aaya ki ab cuet mein bhi hag diya. ek to normalisation na hone ki vajah se aise hi cutoff high jaane wala tha, upar se mai pata nhi kya nasha krke exam likh di hu. ek do NTA bkl itna kam time diya hai omr ke liye, jo ques sahi bhi ho jaate vo bhi hadbadi ki vajah se galat krke aa gayi. ab ye log bol rahe ki sheher mein hi ek state uni mein admission le lo. but the thing is, vo uni ka environment itna zyada kharab hai, like for eg, mere bhai ke saamne uske saath ke ladke ek aunty ka purse chhen liye scooty se. baad mein jaake dekhe to uss purse mein sirf 20rs, ek dabbe wala phone and ek bachche ki doodh ki bottle thi. to bhaiya ro ke dilwaya unhe vapas unka saman. aise environment mein bilkul jaane ka mann nhi but bc kuch nikal hi nhi raha. socha tha partial drop leke neet karungi ab seedha 7th floor drop lungi ig🤡