The Whole Thing

4/14/94

I stepped back from the guy in disbelief. He held his bandaged hand up to his chest, hugging it and turning away from me like he was ashamed of it.
"Oh my god! You're bitten, aren't you?" I gasped.
He nodded sheepishly. "It burns," he whimpered.
"Wha... When did it happen?" I asked.
"I dunno. A week ago, I think. I… I just wanna be like them already," he said as tears filled his eyes.
"But you're not sick, right?" I said.
He shook his head and started to sob, "I... I just want this to be over," he cried. “I hate how they all look at me.”
I stepped forward to comfort him as he balled.
"Hey, hey, hey. What's your name, dude?" I asked sincerely, gently putting the back of my hand on his forehead.

He wasn’t lying. He was cool to the touch, and I couldn’t feel any fever. 

"Daniel," he sniffled.
"Daniel, huh? I'm Mel. Can I... Can I see the bite?" I asked.
"Are you a doctor?" Daniel asked.
"No, but I'm the closest thing to one you have right now," I pointed out.
Daniel tentatively gave me his wounded hand. I took it and gently unwrapped the bandages. The wound looked well-dressed, but he hadn't changed the dressing in a while, or ever. The bandages had yellowed, and it stank as I peeled them off.
"Who wrapped this up for you?" I asked, trying to take his mind away from any pain.
"My friend, Elise," he sobbed.
"Did she turn? Is she one of them now?"
Daniel nodded.
I unwrapped the last few turns and saw the wound. It had started to heal and scab, just like mine had all those months ago. My eyes grew wide, and I gasped in shock.
"What? What is it? What's wrong?" Daniel asked frantically.
"Err... Nothing. You said it burns, right?" I inquired.
Daniel nodded.
"But you're not sick, right?" I continued.
"Yeah, everyone got sick but me," he pointed out.
"Daniel, I think you're gonna be ok. I think you're immune," I said with a hopeful smile.
"What do you mean? How do you know?" He asked.
"Look," I said, turning my head to the left and pulling back the collar of my Dad's bomber, revealing the ugly bite scar on my neck. "One of them got me right around the time this whole thing started, and I'm still here. Still breathing."
"You... You think I'll be ok?" He sniffed.
"Well, why don't we find out, huh?" I said, giving him a pat on the arm. "Here. Let me dress that up for you."
I dropped my Go Bag and pulled out my first aid kit. I grabbed a bottle of disinfectant and a bandage. I opened the bottle, offered my hand, and he gave me his. I took it and pulled it towards me to inspect the wound. I poured the bottle on it without warning, and Daniel screamed, leaping back and pulling his hand away from me. He cried and yelped loudly, clutching at his wrist and contorting his hand in agony.
"Dude! I'm sorry, but you gotta keep the fuck down!" I growled through gritted teeth, apologising for the pain I'd just inflicted.
I checked left and right for any dead ones who might have heard this six-foot, farm-boy-looking guy screaming his lungs out over a little splash of disinfectant. I knew it hurt; I'd done it to myself on the bites I'd received, but Daniel couldn't take it.
"Calm down! You'll attract them!" I yelled over his cries.
The fear of the dead ones showing up made him gulp it in and stand up, whimpering and holding his wounded paw. I reached out, and he pulled his hand back.
"Please! No more of that stuff," he pleaded.
"Don't worry. I'm not trying that again," I said, rolling my eyes as I started to bind the wound with a bandage. "You can get gangrene for all I care if that's how you're gonna take it. You gotta keep it down, dude. How else did you guys survive this long?"
"We had Father Jim," Daniel sniffled.
"Yeah? I heard about him. He sounds like a real stand-up guy," I said, trying to make conversation while I finished dressing his hand.
"Did you know him?" Daniel asked.
"Only through what I found. I ran into your little expedition about a month ago. They were looking for medication, right? Did Father Jim get better?" I asked.
"No. He died. They all died," Daniel said, tears returning to his eyes.

I gave him a second. He wasn’t even looking at me, just looking through me, lost in shock and wherever his mind was taking him to protect him from confronting all he’d lost. “Hey,” I spoke softly, “You’re gonna be ok. It’s gonna be ok. You’re not alone,” I guided him back to the RV. He lumbered slowly behind me and struggled to keep pace, but I gave him time. For the next few days, we cruised around rural Kentucky. We didn’t even see a single dead one. Daniel took the back bed my Dad used to sleep in, and I slept above the cab, my Beretta under my pillow, just in case. 

Daniel took his time recovering. Physically, the guy was OK. The bite wound recovered well. I told him it would turn into a gnarly scar like mine, smiling and trying to cheer him up, but he didn’t react. The poor guy was like a lost, lonely child. He spent most of his days catatonically staring, and at night, he would cry quietly. I just gave him his time. I had no idea how to handle this. I was barely able to understand it myself. I had been alone, living in my own fiction with Dad and Madeline, hoping that I might find another living person. And here that person was a crying, broken young guy I now had to care for.

Daniel had been too shocked or scared to leave the RV. He hardly ate and barely got up from the back bed, but I'd had enough by the time the fourteenth rolled around. I didn’t care if he wanted to stink up the place; I wanted to get showered and changed. “Look, dude. We’re both getting a little ripe in here, and I’m not getting changed in front of you,” I reasoned, but poor Daniel was timidly sitting on the back bed. “There aren’t any out there, man. Trust me, it’s ok,” I said. 

I tried my best to understand his fear of the dead ones. It was crippling him and trapping him here in my RV. Whatever trauma he'd been through, he was lugging around inside him. No matter what I did or said, I couldn't coax much out of him besides simple answers. I knew his name. I knew he'd been with a group of survivors at that complex in March Ridge. I knew they had their pastor leading them until he died, along with the rest of them, and that had turned poor six-foot Daniel into a lost little boy.
“Hey, Daniel. You can come back in now,” I said when I was all cleaned up, opening the door and letting him back into the RV.
Daniel climbed slowly up the steps with his head down, walked to the back bed and sat back down. I put a jay in my mouth and stood by the door.
“I'm gonna go for a smoke, dude. The bathroom’s all yours,” I said, trying to hint him towards getting washed up, but he wasn't listening.
It was like he wasn't even there. Like a lost, stray dog that didn’t trust humans anymore, he timidly lumbered around, reeking of mange and b.o. I shook my head, stepped, and lit my jay, closing the door behind me.
I'd parked us by large open fields of farmland on the edge of some woods. I could see for miles around in the warm spring of the late Kentucky morning. With nothing better to do, I took a stroll along the woods until I was far enough away from the RV to talk out loud without being heard. Despite being around another living person for the first time in almost a year, I felt so alone. While Daniel struggled to adjust to his new reality, I was adjusting to mine and having no one to talk to. So, hoping to find solace, I slumped against a tree at the edge of the woods, smoked my jay, and closed my eyes.
“Hell of a find, huh, Songbird?” Dad said, leaning in next to me against the tree.
I beamed out a relieved smile, opened my eyes and turned to see him smile back.
“He didn't turn. He's immune, like me,” I said.
“He ain't doing much else, either,” Dad scoffed.
“It must have been traumatic,” I reasoned.
“You got over it, Mel. The end of the world passed you by, and you rolled with it,” Dad pointed out.
“Did I, or did I go just as insane as he did?” I asked rhetorically, looking my dead Dad in the eye with a raised eyebrow. He paused for a moment, curled his lip and shrugged.
“Touche,” he admitted.
I leaned back against the tree, took a drag and held the smoke in my lungs a little longer than I would normally. I let it all out in a sigh through my nose and closed my eyes.
“What the fuck am I gonna do with this guy, Dad?” I asked.
Dad took a few seconds to consider, then said, “Well, you could start by finding him some fresh clothes.”
“Shit,” I muttered. “I didn't think about that.”
“Maybe you have been alone too long,” Dad pointed out.
He wasn't wrong, but I hadn't realised how out of touch I'd been. It was a sudden realisation of how much I'd forgotten what real human contact was supposed to be. I hadn't had to think of anyone but myself up until this point. Dad and Madeline had just been along for the ride.
“I have an idea,” I said aloud, hauling myself to my feet and walking back to the RV.
I climbed into the driver's seat and told Daniel we were hitting the road and that he should buckle up. Daniel didn't even ask where we were going. He had yet to ask since I found him. I had no idea if his head was so full of trauma that his thought process wasn’t functioning or if his mind was completely empty. Neither would have surprised me.
I drove the RV to the intersection south of West Point. We were gonna kill two birds with one stone; I needed fuel, he needed clothes. I didn’t know how long he'd been wearing the rags hanging off him, but I felt guilty that it had taken me this long and a conversation with my Dad to notice. It also worried me slightly that he hadn't even mentioned it himself.
“Hey, Daniel,” I called out to him as we hopped out of the RV after I pulled it up to the gas pump and killed the engine.
He craned his neck and looked at me, waiting for me to respond.
“Can you give me a hand with something?” I asked.
“Uhh… yeah… ok,” he nodded.
He followed me around to the side of the RV, where I opened one of the cargo hatches. Inside was a generator I'd been keeping for power on the move and most of my tools. Being used to doing this alone, I grabbed the generator with both hands and lugged it towards the gas station.
“Can you grab my tools, dude?” I asked, and he obliged.
“Do you… can you handle that?” He asked as I hauled the genny and lowered it down about a foot from the gas station power box
“Nah. I got it. I've been doing this kinda shit for a while now,” I said, gesturing that it was no big deal. “Thanks,” I said as he placed my toolbox beside it.
“Do you need to fix it or something?” Daniel drawled.
“Nope. I need to hook it up to the gas station to power it up so I can fill up the RV and a couple of gas cans. I have something for you, though,” I explained.
I returned to the RV, reached into the storage and pulled out a folded-up duffle bag. Carrying it in one hand, I strolled towards the Barg'n'clothes at the north side of the intersection.
“Come on!” I shouted cheerily as I turned around and gestured at Daniel to follow with a smile.
He followed me across the parking lot and through the double doors of the huge outlet. The place was dark and dusty, but enough of the midday sun beamed through the windows to see the racks of clothing—all shapes, sizes, and styles of cheap, off-brands.
“Here,” I said, thrusting the folded duffle bag against his chest and letting him take it from me. “I'll get the RV gassed up. You do some shopping,” I said with a wink.
“What? I just take stuff?” Daniel gawked.
“Of course, dude. Take whatever you want,” I shrugged.
“But, like, isn't it stealing?” He asked.
That question visibly struck me because how I looked at him made his face drop slightly in shock. My confused frown must have made me look angry.
“Daniel, there's… there's no one left to steal from. The world ended, man. Whatever you don't take is gonna rot here, dude,” I explained.
“You're sure no one will care?” He asked sincerely.
“Where do you think I got my winter clothes from? Trust me, no one's alive to care,” I said, waving my hand and heading for the door. “I’ll be by the gas station if you need me. Take your time. Try stuff on. Get cleaned up.”
I left Daniel on his shopping spree while I hooked up the genny to the gas station. With the afternoon heating up, I peeled off my plaid shirt, tied it around my waist and got to work. I was filling up some gas cans when Daniel finally emerged from the store in fresh clothes and a stuffed duffle bag. He wore a plaid pattern similar to mine, only yellow instead of red, some baggy jeans and a green and white Kentucky ball cap. He looked less like the rag-clad shell of a person I'd pulled out of March Ridge and more like someone who was, at least outwardly, looking better.
“Looking good,” I said with a smile.
“Thanks,” Daniel said, returning it. “I didn't know that covered your whole arm,” he said, gesturing at my snake tattoo.
“Yeah, cool, huh?” I said, giving him a good view of my right arm. “You got any?” I asked.
“Nah. My Mama never liked 'em,” he said.
“She probably wouldn't have liked me then, huh?” I asked.
“Well, you seem like a good person, Mel,” he said, smiling but not looking at me.
Daniel turned to look inside the gas station, now powered up with the lights on inside. His eyes grew wide as he stared down towards the ground inside.
“That's the fucker that gave me this,” I said, pointing at the bite scar on my neck.
He took his eyes off the skeleton with a missing skull that I'd left on the floor that day in late July and turned to see me craning my neck.
“He wasn't the only one either,” I stated.
“You've been bitten more than once?” Daniel exclaimed.
“Sure, the other one was a high school kid. Got me right here,” I said, pointing at the bite scar below my collarbone. “Almost bit my fucking tit off,” I said with a wry smile.
Daniel winced at me. I didn't know if it was due to seeing the scar or if me using the word “tit” made him uncomfortable. In either case, I quickly changed the subject.
“So, it's pretty hot, and I'm pretty hungry. I’m gonna get the grill out and cook us some fish. How about it?” I suggested.
I grilled, we ate, and I brought out some beers and lit a small fire in the middle of the intersection, tossing wood and whatever crap was lying around that would burn. I offered Daniel a beer, but he refused.
“Mama used to tell me that my Dad was a drinker, so I never wanted to,” he explained.
“That's fair,” I said. “Was it just you and your Mom?” I asked.
“She uh… she was the only one who got me, you know?” He said. “She was all I had until, you know, then I had Father Jim, Elise, Beth, Derrick, all the others,” he listed before going silent. “They're all… them now,” he said as he curled in on himself, teled in his eyes.
It took me a while to come up with something to say, but I jumped in before his quiet sobs turned into whole cries.
“I know that feeling, dude. Believe me, I do. You can't let them get to you, though. They're just part of the world now, and we can beat them. I've done it,” I claimed.
“Huh?” Daniel said, looking at me with glossy eyes.
“See that over there,” I said, nodding towards the burned-down dealership and blackened burnt-out cars. “Not long after the whole end of the world, when people outside Kentucky stopped broadcasting, I cleared this place out—learned my lesson, though. They can creep up on you, but they're slow and stupid. Now, the only bunch around for miles are up North in West Point.”
“How many have you killed?” Daniel asked.
“Fuck if I know, dude. I don't exactly keep count when they're all burning in a pile,” I scoffed, sipping my beer.
“Are they still, you know, them?” He asked.
“I… I don't even know if it was just me going crazy or if I really did hear it, but I've heard a few of them talking. Just a word here and there, nothing more than that. If whoever they were is still in there, it isn't coming back. Putting them down for good is, well, it's mercy. Madeline taught me that,” I said quietly over my beer.
“Who's Madeline?” Daniel asked.
“She was my girlfr… my wife,” I corrected myself.
Daniel looked at me confused, gawking with that slack-jawed look under the brim of his cap.
“I know, I know, girls can't get married to other girls, but Maddy was raised Catholic, and she always wanted to be married,” I started. “One day, before all this end-of-the-world crap, she put this ring on my finger,” I said, fiddling with the silver wedding band. “She died a few weeks after,” I went on, as tears started to fill my eyes and reality started to dawn on me. “And for those last few weeks, she didn't call me anything but her wife,” I said, choking on the last word and trying to hold down the sobs, but everything hit me all at once.
The fabricated world I'd built out of frosted glass in my head suddenly shattered in Daniel's presence as I told him about Madeline. I had spent almost a year surviving the apocalypse when any average person would have been grieving. And now I grieved for Madeline, out loud and in the open, in front of the first living person I'd seen in what felt like a lifetime. I balled up my hand and held it against my mouth as my body shook with quiet, subdued sobs. My aching heart punctured the lump in my throat as the real world poured into me like cold, icy water and the fact that Maddy was dead, buried, and gone slapped me in the face once more after almost a year of refusing to see it. I turned away from Daniel as the tears rolled down my cheeks. He said nothing as I kept my eyes tightly shut, trying to compose myself. I sniffed, wiped the tears from my cheeks and took a deep breath.
“Yeah, Maddy was my wife. It might not have been real to anyone else, but it was real to her,” I paused. “It was real to me,” I added, looking back at the ring on my hand. “I haven't talked about it to anyone. I haven’t been able to talk about it to anyone,” I admitted. “She died right before all this went down, and I've been alone ever since.”
The two of us sat silently as the fire cracked at our feet and the sun fell below the treeline.
“Sorry for unloading on you there,” I sighed aloud, trying to chuckle awkwardly to lighten the mood.
“It's ok. You've really been alone this whole time?” He asked.
“Yeah. I guess it wasn't all bad, but yeah, just me,” I answered.
“I… I was trying to get help for my Mama when it happened,” Daniel started. “She was getting sick. She got really hot, and then she stopped breathing. I went to get help, but they… they were everywhere. Derrick from the store where I work grabbed me. A bunch of people were running for the army barracks.”
Daniel paused there. It was his turn to get choked up. I let the tears fill his eyes without judgment.
“I tried to get them to help my Mama, but they said it was too dangerous. I didn't leave until… until there was no one left but them,” he gasped before crying.
I let him ball it out as the memories of the trauma he'd suffered came bubbling back up to the surface.
“I just wanted to be like them. I hate how they look at me. They look so mad, like they hate me,” Daniel sobbed.
“I don't think they hate you. I don't think they can hate anything, Daniel. They're dead,” I stated.
“But they can't be. They're walking around,” he retorted.
“I don't know what kind of disease caused it, but some of the shit I've seen happen to them. Some of the shit I've done to them, you can't survive that. They're dead, dude, and nothing is bringing them back,” I said.
Daniel took a long pause as he composed himself.
“What do you think caused it?” He asked.
“Fuck if I know, man. There was this one guy, though. I saw him with his family right at the beginning of it all. He worked at the military base, and I’ve been trying to find it since. I found his home in Ekron and some dead special forces dudes. They seemed to know more than anyone else did. Not that it even matters anymore,” I sighed.
“Derrick said it was something in the Spiffo burgers. He said they had human meat in them, and it made people go crazy or something,” Daniel said, looking over at the Spiffos on the other side of the intersection.
“For real?” I laughed. “Dude, when I thought I would turn into one of them, I ate everything in that place. I wanted to be the last person alive to enjoy a Spiffo burger.” I said, gesturing at the same Spiffos
“Mama never let me eat fast food. She said it was full of junk. Maybe Derrick was right?” Daniel sighed, staring into the fire.
“Maybe,” I sighed as well.
For a while, we sat there staring in silence. Daniel was lost in his thoughts while my slightly buzzed brain was half baking a plan.
“I have an idea,” I said, smiling.
I got up, walked over to the Barg'n’ Clothes and grabbed the first t-shirt closest to the entrance. Then, I marched back to the RV and pulled out one of the gas cans I'd filled earlier. I took them to Daniel by the fire and carefully filled my empty beer bottles with gasoline.
“What are you doing?” Daniel asked curiously.
I filled the last empty bottle and started ripping the t-shirt into rags.
“We're gonna take our revenge on Spiffo Burger on behalf of all mankind,” I said with a wicked laugh.
As I jammed the t-shirt strips into the tops of the bottles and the gas inside, we were left with four Molotovs ready to go.
“Here,” I said, handing two of them to Daniel. “Let's have some fun,”
With my two in hand, I marched towards the Spiffo Burger and stopped when I was within my throwing distance. I put one down at my feet and turned the other upside down to soak the rag while I lit it with my lighter.
“Fuck you, Spiffo! You killed the human race!” I shouted as I hurled my Molotov right through the window.
The glass smashed, and fire lit up the inside. Flames danced through the window, and an orange glow shone against the waning light of the evening in the large, empty intersection.
“Woo!” I cheered, laughing with delight. “Come on, try it,” I said to Daniel, offering my lit lighter.
He carefully held out one of his Molotovs and pulled away timidly as the rag caught fire. He readied himself, smiled and hurled it.
“Fuck you, Spiffo!” He yelled as he did.
Daniel, as it turned out, didn't have the best throwing arm, and his Molotov landed a few feet in front of the doorway to the old-world fast food chain.
“Dude,” I said, giggling, which made Daniel look away from me, embarrassed.
I picked up my second Molotov, lit it and cocked my arm back.
“This is for discontinuing the Fluffyfoot Ribs!” I yelled as I hurled my second Molotov, laughing hysterically as it landed on the roof.
Daniel held his second Molotov towards me. I lit it, and he walked a few paces closer to the burning building. He said nothing this time and hurled it at the door, which shattered the glass and added to the flaming interior.
“Woo! Fuck yeah!” I cheered, clapping.
I jogged over to the RV, opened the driver door and leaned in. I grabbed the first tape my hand could find and looked at it. “Mel's”, it read simply. I smiled, put it in the tape deck, turned the ignition on and cranked the volume as high as possible. The opening notes to Heroes started to play and put a big beaming smile on my face. I walked back to Daniel and the fire pit. David Bowie began to sing, and I half drunkenly danced as the Spiffo Burger burnt down.
“Can you smell that?” Daniel asked, sitting by the fire and staring at the conflagration we'd caused.
“Yeah, it's fry oil. Smells like french fries, huh?” I explained.
I finished a fifth beer and smashed the bottle on the ground. I spun around, dancing to the music, before I tripped and almost fell over. Daniel and I both laughed. I sat down next to him and lit a cigarette. We let our smiles subside, and the moment passed as the sun set and the building continued to burn.
“Do you think everyone is gone?” Daniel asked shyly.
“No, just most of us,” I sighed. “But I found you, didn't I?” I said cheerily, nudging his shoulder with mine.
When I looked at him, my words didn't seem to comfort him. He looked into the fire and got lost in its licking and crackling. I stood up to get another beer but stopped and looked down at him.
“Hey, Daniel, I'm gonna make you a pact,” I stated.
He turned to look up at me with puppy dog eyes.
“You and I are gonna find some more people, living people. I promise. And we'll do it together,” I said, offering my hand.
Daniel took my hand gently; his soft hands felt like they didn't have a single callous. I grasped it firmly and shook it once with a smile. Daniel smiled hopefully back at me, and we celebrated while Spiffo's burnt down in front of us.

For the original post, visit here: https://www.reddit.com/CharlotteDobreYouTube/comments/1cfl5w1/exposing_exhusband_coming_soon/
Hello everyone, we have some major updates to this coming Petty Revenge story that will involve exposing my ex-husband for who he is and trying to protect the next person from falling into his trap. They will be coming in a separate post once I get everything together.
This is my story for context with the ex-husband. It will be a longer post, to be warned. Trigger warning for those who may be sensitive to stories about abuse and self-harm
Since my original post, the woman who is currently with my ex-husband, (not with as in together, anymore. With as in living with currently until she can find a new place for her and her kids), we have continued to stay in contact, and boy is this the drama intensifying. In short, the ex-husband is still playing his horrible games and turning her life into an ever-living hell.
Some backstory on my side. I will shorten my ex-husband to EH.
I (28F) and EH (36 M) met when I was 18 and he was 26, so there was a bit of an age gap, but that did not matter to either of us. We got engaged roughly 4 or 5 months after we started officially dating and we moved in together at the request of my parents as we could not fit everyone into the same home we were renting at the time. Things of course started off great. He seemed like a decent man who had his life at least somewhat figured out. He loved to cook and usually worked in some form of cooking-related job. However, never really seemed to be able to keep a job for too long but at the time, I didn't think much of it, given I was 19 and wearing rose-tinted glasses.
Since he couldn't hold a job and we usually had to ask his grandmother for money to keep up with the rent (both worked basically minimum wage jobs at the time) so after a year out of the house, we had to move back in with my parents.
Once we got settled back in there, I started a better-paying job and he had started a new job that was at least okay paying as well so for a bit we were doing okay. We made enough that we adopted 2 horses together and boarded them at a nearby facility. One came in late spring, the other in the summer of about 2016. So after 2 years of being together.
We got married that same year in the fall. Everything seemed perfect. Then came the wedding night... What I thought was my monthly woke me in the middle of the night before it was time to get up to leave for our honeymoon because I was suddenly bleeding very heavily, it freaked me out and we silently went to the ER without telling my family to not cause alarm. Come to find out, I was having a miscarriage. I was a little over 6 weeks pregnant and did not know. Needless to say, not exactly the best way to start your marriage, and did not go on our honeymoon. We never told my parents it happened and very few people know.
We held off until the following year, 2017, to go on our honeymoon. While we were on our honeymoon, I got a call that my mare had come down with a fever and the stable owner was calling vets out to see what was wrong. The first vet played it off saying it was just minor, gave her penicillin, and told the stable owner to give her a cool bath to help her cool down and see if it helped. It did not. They called a 2nd vet after that was not working for a second opinion, and my mare was diagnosed with Potomac Fever. Since it had been a few days since she started her fever, giving her the correct medicines at that point as she was getting very poorly was a 50/50 chance of whether they would help or not. We did cut our vacation as short as we could, but we ended up having to wait to come home as our board check removed what we had left to come home on so we had no money until we got paid again, luckily that same week.
The day before we were able to return, my favorite singer, Chester Bennington passed away. I was devasted. When we did get to the stable, we bought some supplies the stable owner advised us to get, mainly wraps and bags of ice to help ice my mare's feet to try to help keep her fever at bay. We were advised by the vet when they stopped by the check on her that the next day they would bring out an x-ray machine to see if the bones in her feet had turned down or not. If they had not, then she had a chance of making a full recovery and staying sound, and everything would be okay. If they had, then she would likely never be able to be ridden again and need a lot of corrective shoeing and therapy which would be very expensive. We were also trying to keep her on her feet as if she went down and we could not get her back up, it would be a death sentence.
The next morning I went to the stable as early as I was able and.. disaster. I was met by the stable owner and he had advised that my mare had been down when he checked on her sometime in the early morning, around 3 or 4 AM. He was able to get her up then but wasn't able to tell how long she had been down before he found her and got her up, however, she had gone down again and had refused to get up. I was so heartbroken and went to her and tried for a good hour or so while my parents showed up. I was in tears telling them we'd probably be putting her down because she was down. We did get her up, but the damage at that point was done. She was down way too long and she has very noticeable nerve damage. Hardly able to walk, went to the bathroom in spurts, and was so unsteady on her feet that she could barely stay up. When the vet came, we let her know what was going on. They looked her over and advised that her fever was gone, but the damage would probably be permanent without very expensive therapy throughout the years and would never be the same again. It was the humane choice to let her go and she crossed the rainbow bridge that day. I only had her a year and 2 weeks on the nose, but she was my best friend, my heart horse, and I miss her terribly to this day, soon to be 7 years later come July.
After this happened, EH and I went through a bit of a rocky patch. For a week or so he was supportive and seemed to care that I was grieving the loss of my mare, but after a little while it turned into arguments about how I could still be upset, time had passed we still had our other horse so I should be fine, all sorts of crazy things. I couldn't understand how he could say those things to me, especially when he knew I was so close with my mare and had many great plans with and for her that were now of course, not possible. He didn't care so I just stopped going to him when I was upset about it.
Fast forward to late fall of 2018, we decided to move out of the home we were living with my brother in and move into a house owned by his grandmother for a work opportunity for my EH. He ended up getting the job which solidified us moving. Moving didn't go so bad, however, I had to leave my job to move so I was without for a bit until I got a job at the same place he was working at, which was a casino. Usually, we worked separately as he was a cook and I was a cashier for the different food areas, but sometimes we worked in the same area. I much preferred to be in a different area than him cause if we worked in the same restaurant that night, it would get exhausting with him trying to joke around and make passes at me in front of people and joke around that it was the husband and wife team and everything was great. The first few times it happened, sure it was actually kind of funny because we had worked through some stuff and were doing okay at that point, but it did get a bit old and repetitive at some point, and never had any personal space. Plus, I was the one driving because he had a suspended license at the time so I was stuck with him most of the time after the new food court opened. We got our first puppy together for my 22nd birthday the day after New Years, 2019.
We moved on to work with a co-worker at a duck farm in the area we lived which was kind of a fun job. He was hired full-time and I was part-time. We took care of thousands of ducks every day doing whatever needed to be done from farm maintenance, giving them vaccines, sorting them, tagging them, etc. I kind of miss that job as it was an interesting one to have. All was well during these times, but we did sometimes have arguments because he felt since I didn't work as much that this somehow meant I was being lazy around the house and could stand to do more cooking and cleaning (which I was already doing a majority of anyway). It turned into a lot of gaslighting arguments that made me feel like maybe I was not doing enough so I took on more than what I was already doing. With the new puppy and at that time 7 fish tanks ranging from 5 gallons to 150 gallons with over 100 total fish and the entire house to clean and outside work to do, I was busy most of the time he was not home. Of course, as soon as he got home, he would find 1 dirty little thing that I didn't get to or something that wasn't to his standards and he'd excuse me for doing nothing or not knowing how to do anything right. We got jobs working for the same place after the duck farm mysteriously let him go for unknown reasons, which I can now only assume were his fault. We met some nice co-workers and got our second puppy from one in late fall of 2019. My dogs could be Irish twins because their birthdays are a little over 9 months apart.
Things started to decline after this, especially during covid, 2020. I got it very early on when they didn't know what it was and was bad enough that I could not work at all because I was struggling to breathe and function most of the time for months afterward. He did help me some but not much more than getting cough medicine and checking on me every once in a while other than that, he wasn't around me much due to having to work or just not coming around me when he was home, which fair, didn't want to bring sickness to the workplace. We were laid off from that job though in the downsizing.
In that time, he started abusing online slot games, and the extra money we had that we had previously discussed was to be saved for either a newer vehicle or even maybe a home of our own down the road he used to get coins or boosts in his games. They were not the ones you could win actual money from so he was just purely wasting hundreds of dollars pretty much every week or every couple of weeks on these games. I also found he had been spending money online on sites such as OF and other smut websites and paying for NSFW stuff online. Also found he was cheating on me with one person on OF when I got a pinged message from his email chats on my laptop. I, of course, wanted to see what was happening and found everything he had been saying to this girl.
He was telling her around times we'd go visit my parents for the weekend that he was going out of town to his family but didn't say with whom. They would ask him how he was single and he would just say "Oh I don't know, just unlucky I guess" and things along these longs. I wasn't even given roommate status, He stated he lived alone. Had the 2 dogs, all the fish, was woah is me with it all. I confronted him about it and of course, he tried to deny everything, tried to say I was probably the one cheating, and was just trying to blame him, you know, totally normal sane reaction... not. We got into it pretty good, nothing physical, but we did not talk to each other for a bit, I had considered leaving to be with my best friend at that time, but ultimately we started talking and wanted to attempt to work things out. He of course promised not to do it again, he'd be better, all that good stuff so I decided to give him another chance. Of course, I realize that was a major mistake now, but you live and learn, unfortunately.
Things smoothed out for a bit and went back to being okay again. We had a chance to expand our animals so we took it, it was kind of an apology gift in all honesty. We gained 4 rabbits from my best friend in the late-ish summer of 2020. I met her for the first time in the at the time 8 years we had been talking (we met online) so that was great. I am coming to realize that gaining all the animals we did in our time together may have been a coping mechanism for me because I had something that was depending on me and loved on me so in some ways I realize I do have a lot of animals due to this, but I am also an animal lover and love all of my animals and they are very much spoiled rotten every day. They still bring me immense joy and are a highlight of my life even if they were gained with EH. We still had our other horse, a gelding, at this time yet as well and he had been moved to a new boarding facility that was close to where we had moved to. So things were great at this time. In 2021 in the summer I gained a leopard gecko, and in the fall I gained a Russian tortoise as well.
Backtracking a little to around the end of August 2020, I gained my current job and I was excited to start a new at-home job so I could work and not have to worry about going out and potentially getting deathly sick again. I do have RA so I do have a compromised immune system. He started back to work where we were working as they had started hiring people back, so I was happy to have a quiet background which was needed for my job. Well, that did not last long. 2 weeks after going back, he didn't go to work for a day or 2 and I asked him if he was going to work. He stated he was using his paid vacation time and had taken the next 2 weeks off because he "needed a break" from work because he was feeling burnt out even though he had only been back 2 weeks and wanted some time to do stuff around the house. I thought this was odd and he never asked if this was okay... I only found out when he stayed home instead of going to work as scheduled.
He did go back after those 2 weeks off but he only stayed about another month and it happened again that he did not go in for a day or 2 when he was supposed to be working so I asked him what was going on. He told me he had quit the job because it was burning him out and he did not enjoy the job anymore. I found this odd yet again because he did not express any of these feelings before doing so and never asked me. I was furious and asked him how he thought this was okay because in our budget I had made up for us (because he wouldn't) there was no way for us to survive on my income alone for long and we would likely have to destroy our savings to stay afloat. He stated he would look for another job right away, he just wanted some time to figure out what he wanted to do. How, when he had only just gone back to work after about 5 months off, I don't know, but it was what it was, I made it clear he had to find work.
At that time, around the beginning of 2021 or so, maybe more coming into spring, he started his online slot spending again, and I had found he never deleted his OF account and was talking to another girl that I didn't know about saying the same things he was before, except he was talking to this girl the ENTIRE TIME he was talking to the other one. I just didn't catch it cause he had deleted messages so I didn't see it apparently when I found the first one. So not only had he lied about going to delete the OF and other smut stuff, but he had actively continued to talk to another girl for the entire year and a half almost that he claimed he was working on us and our relationship.
Needless to say, I exploded internally and waited for him to come home after helping his gram with something. I had a plan. When he got home, I played it cool like any other day. Asked him how his gram was, what he did at her house, and all that, normal. Then, I calmly asked him who the OF girl was. The color of his face went pale. Or paler anyway. At first asked, who? And acted confused. I reiterated my question of who OF girl was, this time, seriously to let him know the jig is up. He stated he didn't know who I was talking about and didn't know anyone by that name. I pulled up his OF account on my computer and was like, oh really? then explain all of this, and scrolled through the months of messages with this girl.
He had the AUDACITY to continue denying it was him and said he probably got hacked. I found a picture of him fully in the nude in the full-length mirror in the bathroom that he had sent her and said, "Oh yeah? Then how do you explain this picture?" and continued to more of his parts he was sending to the girl and continued to ask and this to all them. He had nowhere to hide. I had also already downloaded copies of everything and sent them to my best friend (the one we got the rabbits from) so in case he wanted to delete everything and call me crazy, I had the proof that I was not and he did these things.
Eventually, he admitted to continuing talking to her even though he said he had stopped. His reasoning? Apparently, he didn't feel the same spark in our marriage or relationship that he had originally felt and felt like I was distancing myself from him and it just wasn't the same between us. He also stated that he felt as if his efforts to make our relationship work weren't being seen by me and he didn't feel appreciated in the relationship. I, of course, asked him what he meant because at that point I had been just trusting his word that he wouldn't do anything else and would stop. He hadn't done anything else. No romantic gestures, no help around the house, offering to grab food when we needed it, take care of me while I was sick, offer to take over any form of bills or anything financial that I was solely doing at that point because he didn't want the responsibility of and had stated beforehand he didn't want the responsibility of.. nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything was always on me, and I was the one burdening myself and driving myself crazy, even when I had another health scare thinking I had a DVT because I had sudden swelling in my left leg around my knee area and would get sudden bouts of breathlessness and was advised to take it easy and remove as much stress as possible for a bit in case I did have one to avoid a possible clot from going into my brain or lungs. Luckily, I did not have it, or any clots. I was under so much mental and physical stress that my body was reacting negatively.
This did not stop him from continuing my stresses at all. I also developed Vocal Cord Dysfunction when I had covid and stress makes it worse so on top of the sudden swelling and breathlessness, the stress was also activating the VCD and constantly making it feel like someone was choking me full force, which would trigger anxiety attacks because of course I felt like someone was choking me full force and like I couldn't breathe and wasn't breathing or at least wasn't breathing normally. It's an awful experience that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemies.
Despite all the cheating, I never mentioned a word to my parents even up until that point, but they had a feeling something was going on because I was probably being a bit distant with them. I didn't want anyone to know at the time and thought I could fix things. Things only got worse. When he did finally get a job, not until mid-2021, so at that point he'd been out of work almost a year, he again picked up his gambling habits. What made things worse and started to spin more out of control was the pizza shop he had gotten a job at installed slot machines for their customers to play if they wished.
You can only guess what happened from there. While he was making decent money at the time, I saw hardly any of it because he would gamble most of his income at those slot machines. I would tell him what bills needed to go out of our joint account (I had a separate account for myself for my pay, but a portion went into the joint) from his pay, and he would say okay got it won't spend anything over that, won't play this week since we won't have a lot left over, etc etc etc... and magically pretty much all of the money would be gone and I would be forced to dip into our savings to save our bills from going out of date and overdue and gets fees we could not afford.
For context, the joint account was after I paid most of everything else out of my account before seeing what needed to go out of the joint account as well. Usually, the joint account would be needed to cover our rent to his gram, groceries, gas, vet appointments for the animals, medical or dental appointments for myself or him, and pretty much anything other than rent that was a necessity. I took care of the actual main bills out of my pay. As stated above, EH wanted nothing to do with the financial responsibility of ensuring all the bills such as our electricity, water, heat, phones, and internet were paid for on time because "I was better at keeping track of that stuff". I took that on because since I worked from home, I needed to make sure 100% I would have internet and electricity, or else I wouldn't have a job, and I couldn't lose my job over something so stupid as not paying my bills on time. I am not that irresponsible.
In about mid-fall 2021, he was at work and I had requested the day off to take our dogs, then 2 and 3, to the vet for their yearly check-ups and vaccinations so they were good for the coming year. He had just gotten paid the day before and I checked the joint account before I left the house with the dogs and saw that so far, he had not done anything with the money, so all was good and I proceeded to take the dogs to the vet. They did fine. It comes time to check out and pay for the vet visit and... the debit card for the joint account declines and says insufficient funds. Confused, I asked them to try it again before looking because I knew I saw that there was more than enough to cover their bill before I left. Nothing, same thing, it says it's declined due to insufficient funds.
I began to panic because, at this point, we had $0 in our savings because of his antics up until that point, and if I used my bank card, while it would go through, would put me into the negative until payday, which was not until the next week. I checked the joint account and low and behold, within the 2 or 3 hours I was gone, he somehow blew through almost $1,000 in withdrawals to gamble, pretty much his entire pay and I had less than $100 in that account. He had gambled his entire pay when he knew I was out to a vet appointment at that current moment. I paid with my bank card so I could leave, as at that vet clinic, you had to pay for the services before leaving or they would not let you leave, or not let you leave with your animals at the very least until the bill was paid in full. They had no bill me later options.
Needless to say, I was fuming the entire drive home and immediately messaged him about it when I got home and the dogs settled. He messaged me back right away with a BS excuse that he forgot that was what was happening that day even though right above those messages he could see I reminded him I was going to the vet, told him I was leaving for the vet, and was at the vet currently, all of which he replied to.
It of course ended up in an argument when he got home and after a long time arguing he stated he didn't understand what all the fuss was about since I had covered the bill just fine. He was using his pay the way he wanted and that's how it should be. He dared to say my pay went to what I wanted and it wasn't fair I was putting such a tight leash on him and his spending when I spent money on myself all the time, which is not true. I reminded him of this very quickly and showed him my bank account was in the negative because of today due to paying all of the necessary bills we needed, not because I was spending on myself and reminded him if I didn't pay the internet and electricity especially, I wouldn't be able to work which was not in the cards with how his spending was.
I forbade him from spending anything without my okay at this point and in a last-ditch effort, took away and cut up his bank cards and hid mine where he wouldn't find them. This did stop his spending because he didn't have a way to spend. I would only give him my bank card if he asked to get something we needed or he needed, and he was to give it back immediately after use or as soon as he could give it back if he took it to work to get something after work like smokes or something for the house. If any cash withdrawals went out, he wasn't allowed to take it again for a while. This continued into 2022 and it worked, I could relax a little as he was starting to earn trust. Say what you will, but it had to be done. At the end of 2021, 2 days before New Year 2022, we, unfortunately, lost our other horse to a long battle with sickness so we were down to just our dogs, the rabbits, reptiles, and 3 fish tanks because we decided to downgrade on the fish keeping. After all, water was getting expensive to maintain all 7 we had.
The loss of our gelding, unfortunately, turned out to be a good thing, as after we had him euthanized and I had allowed EH to have a bank card of his own again because he had been doing very well, it wasn't long before he was back to his old habits of draining his pays. Only, without the about $400 a month board for our gelding going out anymore, it was much worse. There would have been no way we would have been able to afford to keep him after that. It got to the point I again, took his card away, but then he started finding where I was hiding both of my cards and would drain not only the joint account but also my account. This led to us getting behind in rent especially, on some of my credit card payments which had by that time gotten completely maxed out, and on payments to loans I had taken out to try to get us back on track. Not good.
This continued to no avail throughout 2022. I had many conversations with friends trying to see if there was anything I could do. I was at my wits end with all the constant fighting over finances, continued accusations of cheating, making me feel like I was worthless and not doing enough to try to get him to see reason, wondering why I was not good enough for him to want to change and get his act together, mental and emotional abuse, manipulative actions, almost anything you can think of. I wanted it to stop and I was getting tired of trying. My mental and emotional health declined greatly. My friends of course wanted to support me in whatever I wanted to try to do, but they also didn't like seeing me decline as much as I was.
I had a mental breakdown one night and basically did a 2005 Brittany Spears to my hair. I didn't shave everything off, however, a good 90% of my hair was shaved off and what I did have left was very much chopped and looked horrible. I did get most of it fixed, but needed help with the back, so I asked him to try to fix it up so it didn't look so chopped off. I was already not the best mentally and my anxiety was through the roof. I had simply asked him to just be careful and not accidentally cut or nick me. Pretty simple. As I was anxious, I asked him a few times, and was a bit flinchy when he was close to me. He took this the wrong way and threw the scissors down and started screaming at me that if I wasn't going to calm down and hold still I could do it myself and blew past me out the bathroom door. The door almost hit me when he swung it open and I just completely lost it. I sobbed and was in such a bad state of mind that I ended up scratching my arms to the point I made them bleed and covered with scratches. He didn't care or do anything about it, he had gone outside and taken the car and drove up leaving me there alone. I bandaged up my arms. They stung for weeks and I still have a few light scars. Not a very proud moment, but one that drew me closer to knowing I had to leave. The stress I was under was too much.
My now current boyfriend, whom we'll call BF, (32 M) came into the mix towards the end of summer 2022, introduced to me by my best friend after she found him gaming in Fallout, mixed in with my friends, and took their stance as well that if I wanted to try to make things work, he would try to be as supportive as possible. Over time though, he and my friends slowly cracked and smashed through my rose-tinted glasses to help me see that what was happening was not my fault, and was not an okay situation to be in. My best friend then distanced herself thinking I was choosing BF over her after we started talking more and we were hanging out more playing games together. She decided to end our 11-year friendship amid things even though she knew I needed her and we were not replacing her with each other, we just happened to be growing closer. We attempted to include her in things but she chose to leave and distance herself, stating to me later she regretted ever introducing us.
My BF and other friends became my main support systems, and I decided enough was enough and it was time to let go. I had fallen out of love with my EH for some time but didn't want to admit to it. The marriage was over. I told EH I wanted a divorce but he did not believe me. He said I was being crazy for thinking we should end things, but I knew I was not.
While he was at work one night toward the end of October 2022, I went online and found a service that would assist me in getting the papers we needed to start the divorce process and bought them on the joint account so he could see I was serious.
When he came home, I was on the computer with my friends on Discord, playing a game together. He came in screaming with an anger I had never heard before... He had screamed at me before, but this was different. He was screaming at me to get out of the house, that I needed to get out now, he didn't want to see me in the morning, he didn't care if he wasn't allowed to do that cause he was doing it anyway, he was so angry and my friends and BF heard him through my headset. One of my friends told him to shut up and calm down and EF snapped and screamed at them to shut up and stay out of it.
He then came straight for me and slammed my laptop shut so hard I was afraid he broke it, ripped my headset off my head, and threw me from my chair, continuing to scream at the top of his lungs that he wanted me out right then and there if I wanted to me that way. It all happened so fast, I couldn't stop shaking and looking at him, not expecting this. He had never put his hands on me before. Ripping the headset off my head nearly caught on my industrial earring, which would have been horrible if it caught and ripped out. Luckily it didn't.
Once I got past the initial shock, I stood up and lit into him that he couldn't just kick me out because he was mad I was finally done with him and the relationship, and the audacity he had to lay his hands on me. I needed time to get a place to live because of my work. I needed to get my options figured out, get the animals we had sorted out if I could keep them all or not, everything. I needed to make sure I was sorted out and he would have to deal with the fact that I had to do these things before I could get out of the house.
His anger turned into tears and he began crying and pleading with me not to go and crying he'd do better and be a better person and all the things he promised beforehand. He couldn't believe what he saw when he saw the request for divorce papers, he was sorry for putting his hands on me, the works. It did not work. I assured him I was going and needed to get things sorted out.
The next day I called my parents and told them what had happened and that I needed a place to stay or at least help looking for a place to stay. My parents and brother agreed that they would take me in as they owned and lived in a house, and I could live in the basement of the house so I had a room to myself and had room for my animals as well. I did have to rehome 2 of the 4 rabbits, however, they went to a loving home with a cousin of my brother's girlfriend who was experienced with rabbits and currently had some that 2 could intermingle with. So that worked in my favor.
I didn't think I would have room for both dogs and rabbits remaining, so EH decided he wanted to keep 1 dog and 1 rabbit. He wanted our first dog (the one gotten for my 22nd birthday) and the original rabbit he chose from my now former best friend. I agreed and kept our 2nd dog and the original rabbit I chose from my former best friend. I also was keeping the leopard gecko, tortoise, and fish. However, my parents agreed that if in the future EH ever decided to get rid of or no longer wanted our first dog and the other rabbit, they would allow them to come as well (important in a bit).
I made the move to my parent's house in mid-November 2022 and started the process for divorce. While I was getting the first papers ready to go and sent to EH to start the process, EH would continuously text me and harass me even when I asked him to stop messaging me. He would continuously say he wanted me to stay with him, he would change, ask how I could do this to us as by that time we have been married 6 years and together for 8. Trying to manipulate me into coming back with promises of change.
My response was to send him the first official papers to start the divorce process. In my state, once you initiate the process and request for legal divorce, and the request is approved, you have to wait 90 days before you can then submit the final paperwork to request to make the divorce official because the relationship is not going to work, both parties want the divorce, etc.
I had to send the papers a second time because they were not done properly the first time, but the second try was approved so the 90-day waiting time to submit the final papers began.
He continued to harass and message me multiple times throughout the first month, and then his harassment to try to get me to stay turned into distasteful language and cursing me out, saying he didn't need me he already moved on and had someone else so didn't need me anymore. All ploys were more than likely to see if I would suddenly want him. I did not react other than to say good because I had also already moved on and was with someone, my BF, so I was looking forward to being rid of him so I could be with my BF in peace and not have to worry about him anymore.
At that, he stopped messaging me finally, and I moved all correspondence to email instead of text and messenger for more formal communications only when I had updates regarding our pending divorce.
In about April 2023, I had a bad feeling about the well-being of my first dog and other rabbit so in an update email to let him know we had reached the 90th day so the next day I could start getting the finalization paperwork in, I asked him how both were doing and if I may have a picture of them just to ease my mind that they were doing okay and was maybe just nerves about losing them for good.
He met this simple request with utter anger and venom, stating he didn't have to tell me how they were doing and wasn't going to send any pictures. I was being crazy, they were fine so I shouldn't be asking or worrying about anything. This set alarm bells off in my mind because it was just a simple request to see how they were doing, and so far, legally, still, partly my animals until the divorce was final. I advised him of this and this time demanded proof that both the dog and rabbit were doing well or I would be calling animal welfare as a precaution to ensure their well-being and would want them back ASAP if not met, as I wanted them back if he was not taking care of them.
He again refused stating he didn't have to prove anything and that if I asked again, he'd report me for harassment and false accusations of animal abuse. Not wanting any legal trouble with a pending divorce, I dropped it and didn't ask again.
However, 2 weeks later I got a nasty email saying if I wanted my other dog and rabbit back so badly I could have them, as the dog had been whining so much it was annoying him and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. His sister was getting married in 2 weeks, so I asked if he wanted to have them out before or after the wedding since I was attending the wedding along with my brother and his girlfriend and would be in the area, but could get them earlier if needed. He opted for the week before the wedding because he wanted her especially gone. I asked about the rabbit and he said he changed his mind and wanted to keep the rabbit, but if I wanted her too, I could take her as well. I kindly advised the rabbit would be coming back with me as well as I did not want her alone with him anymore. I told my parents what was up and they agreed they could come home much to my relief.
That weekend in May 2023, my brother and I went to EH's house to pick up my dog and rabbit. The moment I saw them, I was so heartbroken and angry. The rabbit was in a tiny hutch meant just to hold them while we cleaned their big enclosure that obviously had not been cleaned or taken care of in some time and dirty murky brown water to drink. It was obvious she had been couped up there for some time, as her enclosure wall panels were broken down and on the porch. My dog was completely emaciated and in horrible condition. Her nails were overgrown, and she was skin and bones. You could see her ribs, spine, and hip bones, and her face was sunken in. Neglected and not taken care of or fed in some time.
I was so angry I grabbed them and put them in the vehicle and let my brother take care of EH. He talked to him for a bit as I called my parents crying telling them what kind of state my animals were in. They were furious. When we got home, they had the dog I kept outside so he could see his sister come home and they wanted to film their reunion and also show what EH did to her. My mother broke into tears when I carefully got my dog out of the car. She was so excited to see my parents again and her brother. And he was so excited to finally see her again. He had been so depressed without her as he grew up with her of course. It was a beautiful reunion but so depressing and sad because of how deplorable of a condition she was in.
My rabbits immediately went to each other when I put the other into the enclosure with the one I kept. They knew who each other were as well and they started grooming each other and cuddling together like they used to like nothing happened. Both my dogs and my rabbits are inseparable now. They can't stand to be away from each other.
The divorce was finalized in June 2023 and I made sure I had no forms of contact with EH again, blocking him on everything.
I can say I have found a wonderful man in my BF and he has helped me so much and been with me through all of this, we couldn't be happier to be able to be together without people asking how we're together if I'm married to someone else even though I was getting a divorce and no longer with EH. Mainly very religious family members who made a fuss about it, but still was a bit ridiculous.
If you reached the end of this and read every bit, if you have any questions feel free to comment below. An update in a separate post will be coming within the next day or so about what's going on with the woman who is currently with the ex-husband.
This was my story in this, context you may or may not want as not everyone's stories gets told. I am telling mine now as everyone in these situations should.

I haven't had more than a couple sodas in a week one from chicfila and one from a gas station. I'm honestly suprised that I don't have a caffeine headache at all.

I had stopped for more that 3 months and was doing so well. I even went to the bar with friends smocking and didn't smoke.
But then it caught me at my weak spot: I had a big fight with my husband which led to a panic attack and I felt instantly better with a cigarette. It was the 20th of April (the fight was solved 2 hours after that btw, and it was for a stupid reason because we were both exhausted and my husband broke a fever a few hours after that, so it might have played a role in our fight too).
I spent another week without smoking, thinking this was just a mishap. But then I took a plane and someone had a cardiac arrest on the plane, they had to do an emergency landing and everything. I don't know if the guy made it, someone was still assisting him when the medics came and picked him up. This was of course very impressive and sad to look at and when I reached my friend's house I asked him for a smoke.
This was the 26th of April. Since that day I think I have smoked at least one almost every day, being in complete denial. Even though I can see that it makes me feel bad:

• my throat is sore
• the roof of my mouth and my tongue burn a little
• the shortness of breath is back
• my lungs are sore
• and my self confidence is nowhere to be found

All of this goes away when I stop smoking for 24 hours. I even went to visit a friend who doesn't smoke and spend 3 days without smoking. First thing I did when I came back? I lit one.
Last night I had to go to bed early because I had a headache, which I am sure was cause by nicotine. Now I just woke up sweating because I dreamed I was given oxygen to breath and I panicked when I realized it meant I couldn't run anymore.
I hope this time I can fix my mistake from today. I spend the last 12 years smoking (half of it not smoking because I was quiting) and it's starting to scare me. I have a good life and I don't want it to stop because of this stupid addiction. I'm so mad at myself I could scream.
Thanks for reading my rant

The seven brothers of sin shifted uncomfortably behind me, their eager eyes watching me form a plan outside of a raging night club. The ruby lights flashed with the music, the boys looking rather uncomfortable in their designer black suits. Lowering a pair of sunglasses over my eyes, the club Blood Moon was getting a call. Flipping my dagger in between my fingers, my scarlet Jessica Rabbit dress had slits on both sides to allow me to move. Tucking my dagger into my cleavage, the boys had their weapons spinning in their palms. Sneaking in wasn't going to happen, the boys proving to be too eager to cause serious damage.
“We need to raid the tower to find Moonvanya. Your task is to fight off her bodyguards.” I commanded with a sad smile, all of them missing Croak as much as me. “I miss Croak as well but I have a feeling she will reincarnate as something close to us.” Lust cleared his throat, his hand running through his navy waves. What was this guy going to say? Nothing could make me feel better about my current situation.
“She will reincarnate as your first baby between Morte and you.” He spoke simply, smiling to himself. “She spoke as much to me a couple of weeks before she departed. I thought it was the sweetest thing that she wants you to be her mother.” Scarlet as bright as my dress painted my cheeks, my eyes refusing to meet his. The others attempted to comfort me, the words falling on deaf ears. My last mission taught me something and that help was always around me, Morte begging for me to begin to ask for it. That didn't mean that I had to listen to him all the time.
“Color me happy for the honor of raising her in the future.” I chirped cheerfully, their nerves easing a bit. “Time to destroy the party.” Plucking a bomb from my pocket, a devilish smile twisted across my face the moment I ripped out the top of my smoke bomb. Tossing it over my head, the miniature ball rolled into the club. Popping antidote pills into our mouth, the sleeping gas wouldn’t have an effect on us. Leaping over the bushes, a cloud of onyx smoke filled the entire building. Running in through the chaos, the stairs caught my eyes. Leaping over the chaos, the female representation of the seven sins blocked our path to the top. Raising their weapons, devilish grins illuminated their features. Weapons of all types whistled by my head, Lust shouting for me to go ahead. Watching the demons battle for me, guilt had hesitation holding me back. Motioning for me to go, my shimmering scarlet boots clicking up the stairs. Sounds echoed down the hall, I hid in the shadows. Two bodyguards twice my height and three times as muscular were seconds from coming down the flight of stairs I was on, the full moon masks obscuring their faces. Shadow snakes slithered down my arms, shadowy energy building round the heel of my boots. Hovering around the corner, the timing had to be perfect. Seconds from rounding the corner, my muscles groaned in protest the moment I lifted my foot over my head. Slamming my heel into the landing, pure energy shattered the stairs beneath them. Spinning on my toes with my other leg straight in the air, another ball of energy built around my boots. Swinging my feet towards their heads, the snaps of their necks breaking had nausea wracking my stomach. Hissing echoed in the air as my snakes devoured their bodies in seconds. Climbing what remained of the stairs, a low growl had the hairs standing on the back of my head. A scaled dragon creature charged at me, the monster belonging to Stormana. Assessing its energy, the monster smelled of her. Putting the pieces together, it was merely a piece of her. Digging at the concrete underneath, the inky black scales shimmered as it scurried towards me. Pushing off the concrete, the monster snarled the moment I landed on its head. Running along its long body, this would be an opportune time for me to figure out what damaged our newest enemy Stormy. Pushing off its swinging tail, my dagger expanded to its full form. Slamming the tip towards the scales, sparks flew back with me. Smashing into the wall, plaster rained down on me. The scales were impenetrable, my shadow snakes howling in pain. Clutching my side, their pain was mine. Silent tears danced down my cheeks, the monster tearing them to pieces. Struggling to my feet, my guardians needed me. Horror rounded my eyes at a ball of flames crackling to life in its mouth. Calling them back, they slithered back into my palm. My blade shrank down to a dagger, most of my powers fading while my snakes worked to heal themselves. Croak would bound in about now, my heart aching for her. Struggling to my feet, the fight wasn’t over. Cuts appeared on my skin, several organs bursting. Sinking to my knees, a flash of wild scarlet curls caught my eyes. Watching my blood pool around me, an invisible weapon had been used on me. The creature bounding towards me tripled, a groan oozing of agony pouring from my lips. Falling forward, the feeling of hot air lashing at my cheeks had me frantically feeling around for my emergency bomb. Rolling it to my trembling hand, a tear of the trigger had it ticking. Using the rest of my strength had it flying into its stomach. Bracing myself for impact, a slender but muscular arm scooped me up. Hel smiled down at me, her blade spinning in her palm. Covering me with her body, blood and guts rained down onto her crimson leather jacket. Checking me over for my wounds, a low growl rumbled in her throat. Don't die for me too, you freaking idiot.
“Let me take this one, my dear friend.” She pleaded while mixing a healing potion, pure rage burning in her eyes. “Drink this like a good friend.” Forcing the vial into my mouth, a thick liquid coated my throat on the way down. Crashing up the stairs, nothing came into focus. Neon green smoke curled around me, Eris slapping my cheeks to wake me up.
“Come on, girl. We need you.” She begged with neon tears in my eyes, her hand hovering over my heart. “Stormana is heading our way and we don’t stand a chance.” Helping me to my feet, our target’s head hit the tip of my boot. Praying for the gods to heal me to fight their enemy, a golden glittering ray encompassed me. Reversing any damage, a dark energy had swallowed the area. Extending my dagger to its full length, Eris and Hel protested as I climbed onto the nearest ledge. Turning back to face them, a quiet smile lingered on my lips. Jumping off, smoke scented air nipped at my cheeks. Landing on a tree branch, the wood groaned the moment I lowered myself onto the pavement. Kicking off my boots, an eerie female voice called for me. Sprinting towards the source, the branches clawed at my cheeks. Pushing through the pain, my team caught up to me. Remembering how Croak ended, the others paled at my words. No one was dying by her hands under my watch.
“Don’t follow me and help the victims get out of the building safely. The very thing is about to buckle.” I ordered tersely, Eris and Hel begging to come along. “I can’t have you guys come either. That is how Croak died. If I were to lose any of you, I don’t know how sane I would be after that.” Crunching back towards the screaming people, Stormy was my problem and mine alone. Continuing to dart in between the trees, the branches dug their fingers into my flesh once more. Catching sight of her, I hid behind a tree. Resting for a second, her dragon eyes scanned the surrounding trees. Couldn't she leave us alone!
“Back to play, my little rat.” She teased with a maniacal giggle, her Cheshire Cat grin growing wider. “No backup this time. Did I scar you?” Chills ran up my spine at the last statement, mixed emotions flashing in my eyes. The color drained from my cheeks, the image of her cutting down Croak paralyzing me. No enemy had scared me to this point, discreet weeps pouring from my lips. Croak, I needed Croak. Bowing my head in shame, Lust’s words had a smile curling on my lips. Yes, I could go home and bring her back into my life. Storm clouds rumbled to life, a heavy rain washing the blood off of my skin. Using the storm to cover my movements, my breath hitching with each step. Coming up behind her, sparks danced in the air the moment our blades met. Her golden flame sword glowed in the deepening darkness, determination showing in my defiant smile.
“Not today! You will never scare me!” I shouted through a wall of tears, raw fury doubling my powers. “Your head on my wall will be your payment for taking her away. Croak had no business dying that day, you fucking monster!” Swinging her blade towards me, frustration grew in her face at how easily I dodged it. Slamming the tip of my blade into the dirt, a blast of shadowy energy shot her into the dark clouds. Tracking where she would land, golden flames had me ducking behind a rock. Burying my head into my arms, flames torched the rock protecting me. Strength was on her side, my wit would have to make up the difference. Today wasn’t a battle to decide the winner but how she fought. Sure, the blows would sting but more information would be gathered. Poking my head up, Stormy was nowhere to be seen. Trusting my intuition, an annoyed great flowed from my lips at her popping up over me. Rolling out of the way, sparks fluttered with ash upon her claw’s contact with the rock. Jumping to my feet, her way wasn’t going to flourish under my retaliation. Summoning a few of my snakes, terror rounded my eyes at the golden flame dragon roaring behind her. Cocking her head to the left with a crazed grin, a bead of sweat dripped off of her brow. Scanning her for a vulnerable spot, her horns glittered at the right moment. Ordering my snakes to keep the dragon busy, bark groaned as I leapt onto the nearest branch. Jumping from branch to branch, the angle of my strike had to be deadly accurate. My shadow snakes twirled around the dragon, something preventing them from burning. Picking up on the change in my own scent, the slight scent of a cloud reminded me of how gods smelled. The opportunity presented itself, a kick off the branch giving enough speed to propel myself at her. Swinging my blade over my head, the sound of her horns snapping off had us both stunned. Hitting the dirt with her horns, dark blood poured down her face. Golden flames whisked her away, the surplus of energy had me too paralyzed to move. Reaching for her horns, my fingers curled around the smallest parts. Hugging them close to my chest, something had been gained from this pointless fight. Thousands of voices whispered in my ears, Hel scooping me up. Wishing that the chaos would die down, no such luck would be granted. Carrying me into the clouds, pride shimmered in her eyes. Not grasping what was going on, her slender hands set me down in front of the lead god in his flowing robes and golden mask. Resting on my haunches, the horns hit my lap. Scrambling to catch them, those darn things were my prize. Panic twisted my features at the sight of an empty chair, my anxious mind wondering what divine punishment was coming my way. Wasting no time, his big hand slid on a jet black snake mask over my face. Draping a matching cloak over me, nothing was getting pieced together in my mind. What the hell was he thinking!
“Goddess of Shadows, you may now rise.” He announced with pride, the others clapping out of necessity as he leaned in to whisper into my ears. “Rise and take your throne among the gods. Don’t worry, you can go home after.” Embarrassment colored my cheeks, my muscles were too weak to move. Not proud of the state of my body, the other gods didn't need to see this side of me.
“I can’t.” I returned in a quiet whisper, his eyes flitting about the room. “When you gave me that boost, I might have used it too fast and long. The willpower doesn’t exist anymore.” Averting my gaze to the clouds, his finger lifted up my chin. Tears dripped off of my chin, every cell in me wanting Croak to be alive.
“That chair is yours. Sacrifices are a part of a hero’s journey.” He continued soft enough for only me to hear, the years of service paying off in the worst way. “What if I told you that I made you a goddess myself?” Time slowed down, our eyes locking with the utmost respect passing between us. Struggling to my feet, Hel helped me over to my throne in a way that didn't show my current weakness. Darkening to a midnight black, the lead god took his throne. Hel stood behind me, true bliss relaxing her features. Glancing up at her, her hand cupped mine. Depising the abruptness of it all, my eyes scanned the room.
“We have a new goddess of the shadows and Hel is her first worshiper. Respect her as much as you respect me. Many years have been sacrificed on her behalf and a broken life.” He proclaimed while accepting a golden goblet overflowing with wine, jealous glares snapping in my direction. “Judging by your reactions, my decision is final. She is my second in command. Not one of you has been considerate or half as great as a leader she could be. Today she will go back home and do her damn job because she wants to, not has to. Those horns are from our enemy. Have any of you gotten close to harming Stormana? No, sit down and shut up!” Getting onto the tasks at hand, Hel plopped onto the armrest of my chair. Summoning a pad and pen, the tip never stopped moving. Drowning in the sea of hatred and bitterness, Hel’s fingers intertwined with mine. Leaning down close to my ear, her words did little to ease my decaying mental health.
"I pleaded with him to make you a goddess.” She whispered kindly in my ear, her other hand playing tucking a piece of hair behind my ears. “All you needed was one worshiper and here I am. Bask in what you earned.” Returning to taking notes, the horns glittering on my lap had my full attention. Drooling over cutting them open and testing the tissues had me wishing that this meeting was over. A bell rang, the others rising. Popping to my feet, Hel stabilized me long enough to prepare me for my descent. Embracing me from behind as I clung to the horns, our bodies sinking back down towards our home. Feeling well enough to walk on my own, a pang jolted my side. A fever burned on my cheeks, the thin layer of sweat glistening on my skin. Limping down to the basement, my blade shrank back down to its dagger form. Tucking it into the case, Morte looking up from his current monster didn’t slow my steps. Slamming her horns onto the next examination table, Morte cleared his throat as I began to set up my tools. Spinning on his heels, blood stains dotted his white lab coat. Cupping my mouth, the sight of it had me fighting the urge to toss up my lunch.
“A zombie looks better than you. Maybe you should get some r-” He commented with a mixture of playfulness and the usual concern. Wiping the sweat off of my brow, his palms slamming on my table snapped me back to reality. Blushing hard at how close his face was to mine, an impatient scowl dimmed his features. Sliding over a new pair of gloves while changing his own, one touch on both horns had them decaying into several thick circles. Hating that I didn't get to cut them myself, my brow twitched with obvious annoyance.
“Talk to me. Why do you smell so delectable? I can’t seem to resist you.” He demanded with an apologetic smile, my gloved fingers tracing the pieces of the horn. “Another thing bothers me, you smell like you are entering a h-” Covering his mouth, the task at hand needed to be dealt with. Too feeble to speak for a second, the room began to spin. Time, time wasn’t on my hands.
“Don’t worry about it. I am a goddess, a legit goddess.” I choked out through gritted teeth, another jolt announcing my heat. “Get back to w-” Cupping my cheek, his lips smashed into mine desperately. Sinking into the moment, my heart rate matched his. Releasing me from his spell, the stool hissed the moment I crashed onto the hard top. Lowering my hand to the table, a strange paleness came over my skin.
“Nice. That makes you more impressive in my eyes. What you need to confirm is what state of your goddamn heat you are in. If I am going to make a potion to repress it, a few more facts are required.” He complimented me lovingly, the room spinning again. “I can wait for all of eternity.” Shaking my head, the repression wouldn’t be necessary.
“Let’s go through with it.” I wept with a sad smile, wanting to feel the warmth of bearing a child. “Croak wants to come back and I can’t deny a friend.” Taking a second to register to what I said, his genuine smile had life flickering in his eyes. Pressing his palms together, uncontrollable sobs wracked his body. Judging by Stormy’s reaction, her horns would need to grow back before we battled again. Demons with horns were as strong as the size of their horns, my little victory buying me time to figure out what destroyed my enemy.
“You can’t be serious with that request.” He spoke in disbelief, his ears flicking about. “My dreams are about to come true!” Dancing over to me, he spun me around. Spinning me underneath him, his lips kissed mine tenderly. Swinging me back up to my feet, his hands rested on my shoulders. There's the Morte I loved back then, everything about him oozing life.
“Calm down and get your work done. I will tell you when I am ready.” I chuckled lightly, placing the biggest pieces into an evidence bag. Returning to his monster with a fresh pair of gloves, my shaking fingers picked up the scraping tool. Digging at the center of the horn, my fingers traced the rings in her horn. Counting the rings, these horns were thousands of years old. Hel popped up behind me, her cheery hello sending me ten feet into the air. Catching me before I hit the floor, her gloved hand laid down several evidence bags. Plopping down next to me, her pensive expression had my tired smile falling.
“Several more gods defected today.” She informed me while rubbing her palms together, shame dimming my eyes. “Don’t be so glum. They are nothing for us to destroy. People like us don’t get second chances but look at you. Second in command is impressive. Hell, he hasn’t had one for years. Are you going to quench your cycle or are you going to ignore it?” Flashing her a sad smile, my shaking fingers dropped the pieces into the bags.
“Not this time. Morte and I lost everything that night. Croak wants to come back. She is entrusting me with her happy ending.” I answered simply, her face brightening at my reply. “Why so happy? Part of me is giving in to my dreams. Do you want to learn how to catalog items?” Nodding her head vigorously, the way she focused on my lesson had me happy to be like her sister. Finishing up the last item, Hel popped to her feet. Beginning to bow in my direction, my palm caught her forehead. Can people quit acting like they need to bow!
“We are friends not a master and a servant.” I teased blithely, remembering how the twins kept trying to bow. “I suppose I can count on you to be my bodyguard.” Remaining in the awkward position, her arms dangled limply. Mumbling a series of gracious thank yous, she buried me into a bear hug. Basking in her warmth, both of us had something to live for. How long has it been since I felt this jovial? The flames of hope burned in my heart, Hel helping me to see a way out.

Today out of nowhere I started feeling allergies come on. Quickly I started feeling the reaction all around my head and face like a warm flushing feeling. I reached for an anti-histamine right away but the reaction was getting worse really fast. My whole face and ears were bright red and the warmth started feeling high like a fever. I could feel some swelling in my lips. This lasted for about a half hour max before it moved down off of my face and to the rest of my body slowly. Over the next hour I had bumpy hives develop on my hands, feet, knees, ankles, chest, and around my armpits. They have chilled out a bit but they're still all over and I'm just itchy everywhere. This is absolutely awful. I have no idea what to do. As far as I know I'm only allergic to cats (I have none) and I haven't eaten anything new today.
Background Information:
I've had candida symptoms for 5+ years and have gotten rid of them a few times by taking antifungals and staying away from bread/sugars/etc. The problem is of course it would always come back when I would lose steam after a month or so. This last time it seemed to come back with a vengeance. I got fed up because it caused painful and itchy rashes around my groin and rectal area this time.
I decided to try something new after oral fluconazole and miconazole cream only worked as a bandaid. I've been taking biofilm busting digestive enzymes for the first time this week. I take them in the morning on an empty stomach. I also take Candidastat as an anti-fungal (which I've been taking for quite a while) and incorporating some oregano oil caps, coconut oil, and diatomaceous earth. The last 2 days I took a break on the oregano because I've been having a strong reaction involving a headache that feels how a caffeine dependence headache feels.

Anyone else have a baby with mild reflux? And that ‘mild’ reflux is still causing a lot of headache for you & baby?
My almost 8 week old daughter has shown reflux signs and symptoms since about 3 or 4 weeks old. It’s made feeding her a challenge nearly every day. She’s never been formally diagnosed by her pediatrician, but I’m pretty sure that’s what we’re dealing with. Thankfully, she’s gaining weight really well and has shot up to the 75th percentile compared to her 15th percentile just before a month old. Regardless, she will have these (occasional) projectile spit-ups/vomit that scare me to death because it just keeps pouring out. I would say these happen about 1x each week and the rest of the time it’s just small/normal spit ups. Actually, if we’re lucky, some days she doesn’t spit up at all.
Either way- she acts really fidgety and uncomfortable at times. She makes weird noises all the time. She grunts, strains, gurgles, and sounds like she’s clearing her throat. She sounds congested sometimes. She will randomly cough and sneeze quite often. We have to take frequent breaks during feeds because she’ll start acting like she’s uncomfortable mid-feed. She’s always been a “snacker” and will only eat little amounts at a time before she’s had enough.
She’s never had an issue sleeping on her back, though. In fact, sometimes she enjoys it. We do hold her upright for a bit after feeds but then she’s fine to be put down.
I’ve been eyeing her stools because I know dairy allergies can cause reflux to be worse. I’m not seeing any signs of that, however, I do think she has a sensitive tummy based on how much gas discomfort she has daily.
For those who have babies with reflux, what have you done to help them? Specifically ‘mild’ reflux that isn’t bad enough for medication. Do they eventually grow out of it? It does seem to make her more of a high-maintenance baby and I can’t help but wonder if there’s something we’re not doing that would solve this issue and make her more content.

Caught something earlier this week. I got sick and so did my gf. Woke up in the middle of the night with a 103 fever and the most intense chills/shivering and headaches of my life. Took some tylenol and I feel a lot better now.
How do you guys handle your anxiety when you get sick? I have health anxiety and it's been pretty good for the past several months but now it's been triggered pretty hard- keep worrying about meningitis, maybe I have a brain tumor, and etc.

So long story short I fuck this same escort like 2 times a year, this time ate her ass for 20 seconds. She always insists on a condom which I wouldn't do it BB anyways. When the condom came off it looked full of cum didn't look broken but she took care of it once I took it off so I didn't think to check if it was or not. She went and washed her pussy out (she uses lube so i assume thats why and we didnt plan on having sex again) She gave me like a 30 minute hand job after and was going crazy. I ended up with a balanitis flare up 3 days - a week later. It ended up getting a itchy rash by the end of the next week so this is 15 days after the exposure. My doctor says it looks like a yeast infection but I said do a full std panel so I went and pissed in a cup first then he gave me the 4 pills of antibiotics just incase it was an sti (I didn't get the jab right away cause that seemed over excessive if I had nothing and it was just a yeast infection I'm uncircumcised also). The rash was gone 4 days later after the cream he prescribed. I got the panel back 6 days later with normal urine and normal blood. The next day after i got results about 21 days after exposure I got flu like symptoms (at this point the rash is gone and I havent had any anywhere else) mild fever that lasted 3 days,dry cough, nasal clogged, headaches and diarrhea i dont think i had swollen lymph nodes but that's all gone and now I just have a cough and semi clogged nose and mucus comes up when I cough. I do live in Calgary and the weather is changing it goes from 10° one day to mid 20s the next and back and forth. Would a blood test be able to detect it at 15 days or did I test too early? Or could it be from the yeast infection that I'm sick? Or something completely else like a bug going around? I think I'm overeacting but who knows. I heard people have crippling fevers I was still going out for cigarettes every few hours and eating 3 meals a day and wasn't fatigued to where I'm out of breath from walking or anything I still went to work doing physical stuff like this just felt like shit obviously. And yes I was smoking cigarettes while sick I was stressed out LOL. I'm more worried of HIV cause I had no discharge or anything this whole time.

Making this on a throw away account but I'm extremely scared. on 04/11/2024 I had a possible exposure (Unprotected anal sex, i'm a male) and I've been feeling a bunch of crazy symptoms. I took a test on may 3rd and it came back negative but I've had constant stomach problems (Diarrhea lasting more than 4 weeks, Loss of appetite, small red lines appearing on my lower stomach which i would like to believe are stretch marks, random muscle pains, gas and burping often, trouble staying asleep, sore throat) I've also had the feeling of having a fever but every time I check my temp is normal. I'm going to do an oral test again soon because i know I tested early (tested at 3 weeks) but I'm still terrified. If my test comes back negative, I'm never doing anything unprotected again. Any advice would be helpful
Edit: The guy said he was clean but i'm still scared

I’ve been coasting on a Capital One Quicksilver card since 2018 because when I started making real money, I wanted the flat cash back and was intimidated by spending categories, complicated rewards and annual fees. Other than our mortgage and utilities which come from a shared checking account, I put almost all other spending on my CC and pay in full every month religiously.
As I look to potentially plan/pay for a wedding and honeymoon in the next year or two, I'm looking to get more out of my spending and more actively try to get the rewards, status, upgrades, etc. that I see peers able to get through their cards.
See template below - I'm looking for reco's for immediate next steps here - should I open 2 cards this year and start gating my biggest spending categories? Seems like Chase is the best place to start, but which one(s)? Open to AF, even steep ones!
I travel for work 3-4 times per year and can generally choose the airline/hotel but use a work Credit Card for payment (so status without high spend is nice to get the most out of that). But we also have several weddings this year and travel 3-4 times for pleasure or to see family per year.

• All/current cards:
  • Capital One Quicksilver - $15k, 2018
  • Chase Freedom - $5k, 2016-2022 (closed)
• FICO Score: 822
• Oldest account age: 24 years (authorized user on parents CC)
• Chase 5/24 status: 0/24
• Income: $160,000
• Average monthly spend and categories:
  • dining $400
  • groceries: $70
  • gas: $50 or less (live in a big city with public transport)
  • travel: $350-$450 (airfare + lodging); $50 (ubelyft)
  • other: $3,900-$4,200
• Open to Business Cards: Not sure, probably not? But I know very little
• What's the purpose of your next card?
  • Travel benefits that will make work AND personal trips more enjoyable - usually take short trips, so more about seat upgrades, early boarding, and reward miles for free tickets/stays
  • Better 'all other' card for misc. expenses, like wedding
  • I do feel like I spend a bit on Amazon/Paypal, but not sure if that's too specific/small of a category to warrant it's own card
    • ~$1600 on Amazon in L12M
    • ~$950 via PayPal in L12M but I'm sure I could select that option much more frequently on purchases
• Do you have any cards you've been looking at?
  • Chase United Explorer; Chase Sapphire Preferred/Reserve, Capitol One Venture X,
• Are you OK with category spending or do you want a general spending card?
  • I would love one card that I know I can always default to without a headache, and at least one that I can set aside for specific points earning against my biggest spending categories

TW: mentions of blood, graphic-ish period explanation.
Hey all,
Mod’s feel free to delete if this isn’t the kind of thing to discuss here.
First of all, please know I have already reached out to my doctor, I’m not really looking for advice (though it’s welcome) just wondering if my experience is common or not.
I’m 5 months pp and exclusively formula feeding. My baby was born at 29 weeks (you can see my other posts on the beyondthebump subreddit if you’re curious) and my milk dried up at 7 weeks PP.
I started having periods again in April, and it hasn’t been to bad, a little darker than before but otherwise nothing to write home about.
My last period was 2 weeks ago, and this morning I woke up with dark brown blood spots in my underwear. Def not enough to soak a pad, but more than I would have previously considered spotting. I put in a panty liner and have had a bit more dark brown blood discharge throughout the day. Again not enough to be a period but more than normal (for me) spotting.
No other symptoms at all. No fever, pain, cramps, headaches, nausea nothing.
I’m thinking it’s either hormonal because it takes a god awful amount of time for our bodies to actually recover. Or it’s ovulation spotting and it’s just more that I am used to because I’ve been through pregnancy.
I HIGHLY doubt it’s any type of implantation bleeding my husband and I have been studious about protection and birth control since my son was born.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Is it normal?
I probably won’t hear from my doc till tomorrow, and though I know this is probably nothing to worry about, my pregnancy was so hard and scary, everything freaks me out right now.

TW: mentions of blood, graphic-ish period explanation.
Hey all,
First of all, please know I have already reached out to my doctor, I’m not really looking for advice (though it’s welcome) just wondering if my experience is common or not.
I’m 5 months pp and exclusively formula feeding. My baby was born at 29 weeks (you can see my other posts on this sub if you’re curious) and my milk dried up at 7 weeks PP.
I started having periods again in April, and it hasn’t been to bad, a little darker than before but otherwise nothing to write home about.
My last period was 2 weeks ago, and this morning I woke up with dark brown blood spots in my underwear. Def not enough to soak a pad, but more than I would have previously considered spotting. I put in a panty liner and have had a bit more dark brown blood discharge throughout the day. Again not enough to be a period but more than normal (for me) spotting.
No other symptoms at all. No fever, pain, cramps, headaches, nausea nothing.
I’m thinking it’s either hormonal because it takes a god awful amount of time for our bodies to actually recover. Or it’s ovulation spotting and it’s just more that I am used to because I’ve been through pregnancy.
I HIGHLY doubt it’s any type of implantation bleeding my husband and I have been studious about protection and birth control since my son was born.
Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? Is it normal?
I probably won’t hear from my doc till tomorrow, and though I know this is probably nothing to worry about, my pregnancy was so hard and scary, everything freaks me out right now.

41M never smoked mostly vegetarian diet 40k steps a week cardio, healthy my whole life
Two years ago, I got incredibly sick with a stomach bug which was confirmed many times to not be COVID. I did have a fever that lasted 8-12 hours. Then, I went on with my life as usual and started getting bumps in the pockets of my mouth which turned out to be mucoceles. That is what began this journey which if you figured out I believe you would win a Nobel Prize.
ENT 1 dismissed as allergies due to cobblestoning of my throat and refused referral to allergist. ENT 2 stated he was unsure of cause but was not of concern then he found a mucous rentetion cyst on my palentine tonsil which was biopsied to be benign. It was then I discovered the lingual tonsils on that side to be inflamed as well and the roof of my mouth to some degree, perhaps around adenoid, nonetheless his dismissed me. I mean these linguals are inflamed and have been every day for two years, regardless of diet or season.
I finally get allergist referral to an allergist who says it doesn't seem like allergies. I have no watery or itchy eyes, scratchy throat, sneezing, etc. He put me on regiment of steroids and Clarithomycin for 14 days and nothing. He sends me to ENT 3 who does another endoscope and says stop pursuing this, I'm going to do damage, if I must have a CT to put it to bed he will order it.
I get 2 scans, because the first was not just my sinuses for some reason which shows pansinuitis, borderline inflammation of Node 2A (lymph node on my neck?), deviated septum, mucous rentetion cyst, and gut inflammation. He does a balloon sinuplasty which fixes nothing BUT they find enterococcus facelias which I do 14 days of Ampicillin for and nothing. They do allergy testing via pricks on my arm which says I'm allergic to 34/37 things but nothing above a 4 of 7. I'm dismissed and I offered to come back for allergy shots if I want.
I got back to the allergist who sent me to ENT 3 for more allergy testing as I was worried the first did not include trees I had moved near right when this began. They do a machine gun style 40 prick on my back which comes out all negative, sends me with another round of Clarithomycin, and that's that.
I decide to try ENT 4 at John Hopkins who does endoscope, says he will do the full 4hr surgery fix the septum, turbinates, bony spur, etc. I do that, sure enough the lingual is still inflamed, cobblestoning, ear pressure, headaches on only that side of my head...not much change. He has me on Budesonide which helps for one hour twice per day. I have a followup CT in a few weeks.
I finally get into our local allergist who all the doctors rave about through rescue who did turn out to be informative and kind, listened to my whole story, and offered a novel solution... to do blood testing and put the allergy question to bed. It's comes back all negative HOWEVER my IgA was 430.
My primary put me on a PPI which did nothing as confused me as I have had no GERD symptoms. I have had an odd intermittent pain around my left rib. But I think that really hit my gut biome. My blood work was good except my lymphocytes were 50% although my absolute lymph was normal somehow. I did blood work on my followup and it's was perfect except my liver enzymes were crazy, 195 and 74 ALT AST. I had a hep test which was all negative and a sonogram which said my liver, bile ducts, etc were all perfect. I did more blood work at the next followup which was all perfect, 19 and 19. No idea what caused that spike.
I have tried so many diets in this time, from keto to intermittent fasting to basically just cabbage and protein shakes for five months. I've not done FODMAP. But in the end, I've literally done more harm than good. After all these diet, stress, and antibiotics my gut is really messed up as I had constipation for the first time in my life, bloating, which has me now on high fiber that I'm afraid to quit as that was a one time thing which has no reoccurrence. I've got heart issues, perhaps from the fiber? ENT 4 said the Clarithomycin could the culprit. It's just a mess with no end in sight.
I'm currently convinced the odd enterococcus faeclias with the IgA is the most notable part of all this. Why is a gut bacteria in my nose? Even my ENT laughed on shock when he conveyed this to me. IgA is specifically in relation to my gut antibodies? My IgG is perfect. I did research on all this a found inflammation between gut and sinuses are interconnected via the IgA. Perhaps I go see a gastro? I'm so exhausted diving further and further.
I really just wish someone could tell me what it is so I know it's not going to evolve or kill me. At least with allergies or other chronic sinus infections you have a pretty obvious long-term outcome. I have zero sinus infections or allergies.

Hello, I just got a sewer gas leak fixed after weeks .. I was having symptoms trouble breathing sore throat.. headaches and fatigue. How likely is it caused long term damage? Should I air out my house now that it’s fixed? How likely is it people die from this stuff? Sorry if dumb questions I’m really worried.

Since Saturday I started with clear egg white discharge which became clear and sticky that stopped yesterday. Yesterday I had a headache, body ache and felt super dizzy. This morning I woke up with a migraine nausea and just feeling unwell, feel feverish but have no fever. Could my cycle be coming that’s why I feel this way?

Since Saturday I started with clear egg white discharge which became clear and sticky that stopped yesterday. Yesterday I had a headache, body ache and felt super dizzy. This morning I woke up with a migraine nausea and just feeling unwell, feel feverish but have no fever. Could my cycle be coming that’s why I feel this way?