Been playing Shadow of MordoShadow of War lately. Let's suppose that one mook you killed a week ago somehow wasn't quite as dead as you thought. Or perhaps someone brought them back to life somehow. He's got to have some sort of one liner or something when they meet the PCs again.
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1) [Burnt to death] - "It's not the pain or itchiness that I'm so mad about. It's not even the fact that I'm now just a walking burn scar. What really irks me is the fact that every thing now smells like burnt bacon. Everything!"
2) [Fell to death] - "It really is true. It really is that sudden stop at the bottom that messes you up. Don't believe me? You will when I toss your arse over a cliff like what you did to me!"
3) [Froze to death] - "You know, there's a 'frosty reception' joke here somewhere. But such a joke would just demean the both of us. Let's just skip to the part where I get my revenge!"
4) [Burnt to death] - "Your flames flicker like candlelight, offering no warmth or threat. Allow me to demonstrate the true might of fire as I reduce your aspirations to smoldering embers!" [u/Ill_Armadillo9785]
5) [Archer shot to death with arrows] - "You must be the most rubbish archer I've ever had the misfortune of meeting! All of those arrows, and yet not a single one hit anything vital! Here, let a pro show you how it's done."
6) [Barbarian killed by any damage) - "Me Barbarian, You wimp! Me not take damage! HAH!" [u/Adventux]
7) [Generic return quote] - "There's an intricate biophysical explanation for why I'm here. But the short version is, you failed." [u/Delicious-Tie8097]
8) [Killed by decapitation] - “I know, I know. You literally held my head in your hands after removing it from my body. What matters now is that I’m here before you once more so you really shouldn’t lose you head about how that is so.” [u/ThatOneGuyUpDown]
9) [Killed by decapitation] - "They say the head, when severed from the body, can maintain consciousness for up to thirty seconds. What they don't say, however, is that those paltry few seconds feel like an eternity."
10) [Betrayed + Eaten alive by ghouls + Returned as a revenant] - "I called for you when my body went limp from the ghoul's toxins. I cried for you when the horde surrounded me. I screamed for you when I felt their teeth and claws tear into my flesh. When I realized you had abandoned me, I swore that I would never rest, that I would never die, until you knew the agony I went through!"
11) [Betrayed + Possessed by haunted armor] - "I had held out hope that you would return for me. Even as days turned to weeks. Even as the inquisitors intensified their tortures. That hope was all that kept me alive... until it was gone. Only by donning the armor, by enduring the agony of it digging into my flesh as my body grew, did I survive. The moment hope died the old me died with it, and I was reborn. Behold! What stands before is The Tower: Servant of the Dark Lord, monument to your failure, and the harbinger of your final defeat!
12) [Bled to death] - "It took me an hour to bleed out. Do you know how long it took to put that all crap back in?" [u/Sazul]
13) [Bled to death] - "So I'm sat there, bleeding out, thinkin, 'crap this red stuff needs to be inside not on the floor'. So I improvise, I start drinking it all up. Apparently... that does not work. But now I have an appetite!" [u/Sazul]
14) [Exploded] - "They never found my favorite finger! THE MIDDLE ONE!" [u/Sazul]
15) [Headshot] - "Turns out some pee-pol can live without their brain bits. Let's see if it's the same for us. I mean. YOU!" [u/Sazul]
16) [Headshot] - "I TASTE COLOURS NOW!" [u/Sazul]
17) [Headshot] - "And as I was staring down your bow, the last thing that went through my head was REVENGE. Well, that and an arrow." [u/Sazul]
18) [Crushed to death] - "I'm still gonna kill you 'cause vengeance and all that, but this has been incredible for my figure." [u/Sazul]
19) [Crushed to death] - "My favorite pants don't fit anymore! And the cleric suggested a belt. A BELT. Look at this outfit, do you THINK this goes with a belt?" [u/Sazul]
20) [Wizard killed by spell] - "C minus: Your pronunciation was all wrong, and your footwork was sloppy and unconfident. And you're ugly." [u/Sazul]
21) [Fell to death] - "Because of you, my last words were nearly 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'. I wanted something heartwarming and profound!" [u/Sazul]
22) [Eaten by animal] - "Listen, you feeding me to that dragon, water under the bridge. The coming out part is why I'm gonna kill you." [u/Sazul]
23) [Eaten by animal] - "After that wolf devoured me, I tracked it down and ate it alive, piece by piece. And now all that's left is to EAT YOU TOO! ...I know you technically didn't eat me, but EVERYONE GRIEVES DIFFERENTLY! [u/Sazul]
24) [Eaten by animal] - "In spite of the horrific experience I've been through, I can take comfort in two things. 1) That beasty was in absolute agony after shittin' me out. And 2) Your agony's gonna be much, much worse!"
25) [Swallowed whole] - "After a few minutes it vomited me back out. It must have been something it ate". [u/eDaveUK]
26) [Froze to death] - "The only thing that kept me going in that frozen prison was the nice, warm thought of me sitting by the bonfire that I'm going to make outta your corpse."
27) [Returns as banshee] - "I believe the word you're looking for is... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
28) [Death by blunt force to head] - "It's bad enough that I need a metal plate to keep what's left of my brains from falling out, but nothing's ever tasted right since then! You broke my skull and my sense of taste! And now I'm gonna break you!"
29) [Drow betrayed - returns as drider] - "Look at me! Look at this horrific abomination I've become! This was the price of my disloyalty! Now I'll never forgot my true loyalties, my true faith. Perhaps if I sacrifice you, Lolth will return me to my former self? And, even if she doesn't, at least I'll have the satisfaction of hearing you scream."
30) [Dismembered - returns with iron golem arm] - "You whacked off me good arm, you did. And then you left me to bleed to death. But I survived, and the wizards gave me a new arm. One of metal and magic. And now I'm gonna use it to rip off both your arms and your legs!"
31) [Dismembered - returns as half-golem, iron] - "Weak! The flesh is weak! I was weak! But now flesh is gone! Replaced with iron! Iron is strong! I am strong! Iron strong than flesh! Iron smashes flesh! I SMASH YOUR FLESH!!! I SMASH ALL FLESH!!!"
32) [Genric] Time for me to do to you what you failed to do to me!! [u/NoManNoRiver]
33) [Fall] It was a long way down BUT NOT FAR ENOUGH!!! [u/NoManNoRiver]
34) [Arrow/Crossbow/Gunshot] You need to practice your aim. But don’t worry, I won’t miss!! [u/NoManNoRiver]
35) [Decapitated or Dismembered] A physician would say that everything that makes you, you, rests in the Skull. Clearly they never saw a soul, and that seems to be in the chest. Shall we find out what needs to be broken to bump you off? [u/cira-radblas]
36) [Stabbed and believed dead. Then Buried. Returns as an Undead Ent!] "You thought you could plant me 6 feet under. BUT I grew back like a tree. Do know what it feels like to have worms eat through you? well You soon will as I stab you with my new wood arms then bury YOU 6 feet Under! [u/Adventux]
37) [Generic, Schemer personality ] "Did you really think I would no factor MY death in MY plans? Allow me to to introduce you to the next stage of my plan: YOUR death!" [u/MutatedMutton]
38) [Generic] "I have loved ones willing to put down a kings ransom of diamonds to pay a wizard to bring me back, and continue to do so. Something tells me you don't have that luxury." [u/MutatedMutton]
39) [Came back as a random undead. Multiple times as a different type for extra funny] "DEATH IS NOT THE FINAL TRUTH. ALLOW ME TO FREE YOU FROM THAT LIE" [u/MutatedMutton]
40) [Generic, class changed into Warlock/Cleric] "Now, I'm no religious man but I met someone on the willing to send me back in return for an itty bitty favour. Seems you've made some powerful enemies on the other side" [u/MutatedMutton]
41) [Stabbed by a weapon left in their corpse] "There you are! You left something with me last time and I would not sleep easy if I didnt give it back... BLADE FIRST!" [u/MutatedMutton]
42) [Explosion] "I HOPE YOU KNOW, THIS IS NOTHING PERSONAL. JUST BUSINESS. WHAT? THE SHOUTING? WELL YOU SEE HOW WELL YOUR EARS HANDLE POINT BLANK EXPLOSIONS!" [u/MutatedMutton]
43) [Lightning spell, returned as a flesh golem with iron bolts stuck to their head] "Hey that last spell maaaaaay have awakened something in me... PURE UNDILUTED LUST FOR REVENGE!" [u/MutatedMutton]
44) [Command spell] "You could not imagine the fear of watching your body harming itself despite your mind begging it to stop. I will introduce you to a softer version of that fear by breaking every bone in your body while you plead for mercy" [u/MutatedMutton]
45) [Vicious Mockery] "Hold it! I've been workshopping a comeback after all this time. Ahem... 'No, YOUR mother!'.... Dammit, I'm just going to kill you." [u/MutatedMutton]
46) [Frozen to death] "What hurt most, it was the surgeries... Six fingers, an entire foot... I'm not waiting for frostbite to set in before I take pieces of you." [u/Reasonable-Lime-615]
47) [Explosion] "The blast threw me clear, but I can still feel it, shaking me, hurling me... Sometimes, the tinnitus is so loud, I scream... Maybe, if I kill you, it will hurt less. Or maybe, I just want you to hurt too." [u/Reasonable-Lime-615]
48) [Electrocution] "Do you know how much it hurt!? Every nerve, screaming at once! Every muscle tearing itself apart! My heart stopped! If you'd controlled yourself, it would have stayed stopped!" [u/Reasonable-Lime-615]
49) [Acid] "I know, not much of a looker now, huh? That sizzling, of acid meeting my flesh, and the stink of that s***... Let's just agree that I owe you and you're not gonna like the method of payment." [u/Reasonable-Lime-615]
50) [Impaled, shot or stabbed] "The hole you left in me went right through... So I guess you ain't making that same shot, huh?" [u/Reasonable-Lime-615]
51) [Psychic damage] "It must have been easy, killing lame old . But can you kill voice change, try for a scary one US?" [u/Reasonable-Lime-615]

Most of what I’ve read says paying to push your content doesn’t seem to help, but I had to try it myself to see. I didn’t have high hopes, it was more of an experiment to just see what would happen.
I paid $20 on Facebook to push my latest post, which was just telling people our latest episode was out, along with a picture of it. Along with a link to our linktree.
The ad ran for 1 week total.
We typically get 10-20 likes on a post and 3 or so shares, the promoted one got 601 reactions and 8 shares.
Our Facebook page went from 101 likes to 141, and roughly the same jump in followers.
As far as the actual podcast, it doesn’t look like we gained a single subscriber or even an extra download of the latest episode.
In conclusion, if you want to get some new followers or likes on your page, this will do it. But as far as actual listeners, seems worthless.

names are fake for privacy purposes. bio-mom: tania (49f) father: steven (58m) sister: tori (26f) brother: vern (23m) me: 20f (no name needed lol)
anytime “fast forward” is mentioned, it’s because there wasn’t much going on in between or i wanted to spare some pretty bad details.
about 8 months ago i made a post asking if i would be an asshole for helping my father find my bio-mom in order to take her to court because for about 10 years (give or take) my bio-mom went off the grid and didn’t pay child support
some background for context for those who didn’t see the original post: steven and tania have been divorced now for about 15 years. they got divorced due to my tania’s infidelity and honestly, her just not being a mom. every weekend she acted (and more likely than not, still acts) like a crazed college girl looking to party every night. tania would come home drunk and hog the toilet all night. i vividly remember one time (i had to have been between ages 4-6 because i was at the apartment my family lived in at the time) tania was blacked/passed out on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet. i had to call steven into the bathroom to move her so i could use the bathroom. those kinds of things at least once a week.
moving along, when i was about 8/9 tania moved to colorado. at that point she had a warrant out for her arrest because 1) she hadn’t payed at least 6 months of child support for me and my 2 older siblings and 2) she fled my state without letting the court know. essentially we knew she moved to avoid child support. we went YEARS with my dad being a single father. everyday i’m thankful for that man for doing everything a mother should’ve for me.
SUPER fast forward to my freshman year of high school. i went behind steven’s back and texted tania on facebook. i never got a reply… i was 13 and still almost 8 years later haven’t gotten a reply (not that i want one atp). about two days after i texted her i did tell my father. honestly, even being 13, i wanted her to pay. i wanted my dad to not be struggling. i wanted to go to a better school and be able to do more things a kid/teen should be doing rather than having to go to school and come home. i was never really able to go out with friends until i was 17 because i had gotten my own job. yes, my father could’ve given me money, rides places, etc. but mind you, growing up watching my dad be a single parent and struggle even when he didn’t say anything, i knew better than to ask. those $10 he could’ve given me would’ve made better use at the grocery store. him giving me a ride, would’ve cut into him driving for uber after working his 6am-3pm day job.
fast forward again to 2018/2019. vern is a senior in high school. to give you the skinny, we had a great relationship as siblings until i found out he was trying to cheat on his gf with one of my friends. this was january 2019 the NIGHT BEFORE we went back to school from winter break. we got into an argument which caused him to throw his phone at me leaving me with 2 black eyes and the bridge of my nose cut open. that day, vern was very lucky he was my sibling or there’s no telling what would’ve transpired. vern was enlisting in the army and was scheduled to leave for boot camp in july of 2019. a week down the road i find out my grandma had taken him in after specifically telling me he wasn’t with her. to avoid too many details it was a whole argument between everyone. not that it mattered because by july 1st vern had called me and asked to come back. i spoke with dad, we went to get him and kept him with us until he left for the army.
fast forward to october of that year. vern was graduating from boot camp so steven and i drove the almost 13 hours from us to georgia to see him graduate. trust and believe it was NOT worth missing my homecoming for because guess tf what? i found out a day into this 3 day trip, tania was there through my sister tori. livid isn’t even the word used to describe how i felt, so i could only imagine how steven felt that we just did all this to find out from a third party that we were in a shit situation. and reddit, let me tell you, i could not have left georgia faster after those 3 days.
coming up to November of the same year, my elderly grandmother got on a plane to georgia to watch vern graduate completely before being stationed. tania i guess also showed up this time too. to say my grandma was disappointed is an understatement. especially since vern told her, verbatim, “don’t worry. i’ll come to see you before i ship out” he told her on the last day of this trip that he was getting shipped right away and so he might not be able to see her. he then got into tania’s car and drove off… my grandmother spent the next 3 years withering away. she had 3 strokes over those years and passed away in 2022. she told us for those 3 years she didn’t want my siblings at her funeral or her wake. it breaks my heart every single day how much my siblings let her down…
anyways, we found out vern was staying with tania in colorado and then was shipped to alaska. or so we think. he ended up getting mixed up in drugs and was dishonorably discharged from the military. it went downhill for vern from there. but i’ve spent so much time off track it’s about time i get to the point.
8 months ago my father asked me to do some social media searching and see if i could find any info about tania because rumor had it she was back in town permanently from colorado. i did some searching and saw she was going to club/bar events not even 20 minutes away from my house. nothing really ever came of that until recently.
i was scrolling on my facebook messenger just reminding myself of who i had spoken to in the past year or so lol and saw a text chain between me and vern. so i start going through his profile and find he’s friends with tania on facebook. so i go through her page and i hit the jackpot.
just for some context, because she does have warrants due to the backpay on child support, all we needed was to find a job, where she lives, something like that. i saw a post that said “thank you tania for the amazing service at ___ for donna’s retirement party…” (not going to say what bar it is but it is in fact a bar). now i know where she works. i gave my dad a call and let him know what i found to see if we could go anywhere from there. a few family friends live in the area of this establishment and drove past to see if there was any cars with colorado plates since tania had most recently lived in colorado. when they didn’t see one they called the place and asked if tania worked there. YALLLLLLLLL it was tania who picked up the phone.
my dad is getting back into contact with his lawyer to see what steps we take next. i have an officer who comes into my job often who i’m also going to ask just to see what steps they would recommend we take going forward. as of right now, it’s pretty quiet and idk what’s to come but hopefully it’s the over $20k tania owes.
just a side note: one of these arrest warrants, the bail is already $3k when they arrest her. IF she makes bail, that money goes right to my dad (not sure on much of the legality of it all but that’s what steven told me). updates will be given hopefully soon.
ik how my family would react if the found out that i’ve been helping steven, so reddit, aita for helping my dad find my bio-mom? advice and whatnot is more than welcome.

names are fake for privacy purposes. bio-mom: tania (49f) father: steven (58m) sister: tori (26f) brother: vern (23m) me: 20f (no name needed lol)
anytime “fast forward” is mentioned, it’s because there wasn’t much going on in between or i wanted to spare some pretty bad details.
about 8 months ago i made a post asking if i would be an asshole for helping my father find my bio-mom in order to take her to court because for about 10 years (give or take) my bio-mom went off the grid and didn’t pay child support
some background for context for those who didn’t see the original post: steven and tania have been divorced now for about 15 years. they got divorced due to my tania’s infidelity and honestly, her just not being a mom. every weekend she acted (and more likely than not, still acts) like a crazed college girl looking to party every night. tania would come home drunk and hog the toilet all night. i vividly remember one time (i had to have been between ages 4-6 because i was at the apartment my family lived in at the time) tania was blacked/passed out on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet. i had to call steven into the bathroom to move her so i could use the bathroom. those kinds of things at least once a week.
moving along, when i was about 8/9 tania moved to colorado. at that point she had a warrant out for her arrest because 1) she hadn’t payed at least 6 months of child support for me and my 2 older siblings and 2) she fled my state without letting the court know. essentially we knew she moved to avoid child support. we went YEARS with my dad being a single father. everyday i’m thankful for that man for doing everything a mother should’ve for me.
SUPER fast forward to my freshman year of high school. i went behind steven’s back and texted tania on facebook. i never got a reply… i was 13 and still almost 8 years later haven’t gotten a reply (not that i want one atp). about two days after i texted her i did tell my father. honestly, even being 13, i wanted her to pay. i wanted my dad to not be struggling. i wanted to go to a better school and be able to do more things a kid/teen should be doing rather than having to go to school and come home. i was never really able to go out with friends until i was 17 because i had gotten my own job. yes, my father could’ve given me money, rides places, etc. but mind you, growing up watching my dad be a single parent and struggle even when he didn’t say anything, i knew better than to ask. those $10 he could’ve given me would’ve made better use at the grocery store. him giving me a ride, would’ve cut into him driving for uber after working his 6am-3pm day job.
fast forward again to 2018/2019. vern is a senior in high school. to give you the skinny, we had a great relationship as siblings until i found out he was trying to cheat on his gf with one of my friends. this was january 2019 the NIGHT BEFORE we went back to school from winter break. we got into an argument which caused him to throw his phone at me leaving me with 2 black eyes and the bridge of my nose cut open. that day, vern was very lucky he was my sibling or there’s no telling what would’ve transpired. vern was enlisting in the army and was scheduled to leave for boot camp in july of 2019. a week down the road i find out my grandma had taken him in after specifically telling me he wasn’t with her. to avoid too many details it was a whole argument between everyone. not that it mattered because by july 1st vern had called me and asked to come back. i spoke with dad, we went to get him and kept him with us until he left for the army.
fast forward to october of that year. vern was graduating from boot camp so steven and i drove the almost 13 hours from us to georgia to see him graduate. trust and believe it was NOT worth missing my homecoming for because guess tf what? i found out a day into this 3 day trip, tania was there through my sister tori. livid isn’t even the word used to describe how i felt, so i could only imagine how steven felt that we just did all this to find out from a third party that we were in a shit situation. and reddit, let me tell you, i could not have left georgia faster after those 3 days.
coming up to November of the same year, my elderly grandmother got on a plane to georgia to watch vern graduate completely before being stationed. tania i guess also showed up this time too. to say my grandma was disappointed is an understatement. especially since vern told her, verbatim, “don’t worry. i’ll come to see you before i ship out” he told her on the last day of this trip that he was getting shipped right away and so he might not be able to see her. he then got into tania’s car and drove off… my grandmother spent the next 3 years withering away. she had 3 strokes over those years and passed away in 2022. she told us for those 3 years she didn’t want my siblings at her funeral or her wake. it breaks my heart every single day how much my siblings let her down…
anyways, we found out vern was staying with tania in colorado and then was shipped to alaska. or so we think. he ended up getting mixed up in drugs and was dishonorably discharged from the military. it went downhill for vern from there. but i’ve spent so much time off track it’s about time i get to the point.
8 months ago my father asked me to do some social media searching and see if i could find any info about tania because rumor had it she was back in town permanently from colorado. i did some searching and saw she was going to club/bar events not even 20 minutes away from my house. nothing really ever came of that until recently.
i was scrolling on my facebook messenger just reminding myself of who i had spoken to in the past year or so lol and saw a text chain between me and vern. so i start going through his profile and find he’s friends with tania on facebook. so i go through her page and i hit the jackpot.
just for some context, because she does have warrants due to the backpay on child support, all we needed was to find a job, where she lives, something like that. i saw a post that said “thank you tania for the amazing service at ___ for donna’s retirement party…” (not going to say what bar it is but it is in fact a bar). now i know where she works. i gave my dad a call and let him know what i found to see if we could go anywhere from there. a few family friends live in the area of this establishment and drove past to see if there was any cars with colorado plates since tania had most recently lived in colorado. when they didn’t see one they called the place and asked if tania worked there. YALLLLLLLLL it was tania who picked up the phone.
my dad is getting back into contact with his lawyer to see what steps we take next. i have an officer who comes into my job often who i’m also going to ask just to see what steps they would recommend we take going forward. as of right now, it’s pretty quiet and idk what’s to come but hopefully it’s the over $20k tania owes.
just a side note: one of these arrest warrants, the bail is already $3k when they arrest her. IF she makes bail, that money goes right to my dad (not sure on much of the legality of it all but that’s what steven told me). updates will be given hopefully soon.
ik how my family would react if the found out that i’ve been helping steven, so reddit, aita for helping my dad find my bio-mom? advice and whatnot is more than welcome.

Hello all. I've been married now going on 10 years. I have always considered my in laws to be generally good, caring people. However, in recent years, I have noticed a bit of a trend that really bothers my wife. So basically, she doesn't talk to them for long periods of time. Not a text or a call. Not a peep. Say for example now, she hasn't heard from either one of them since Mothers day when we saw them last. They also have two other kids. However, my wife, is their first born and also so far, the only child of theirs to be married and also have a grandkid. My son is 5. And basically, she doesn't hear anything from them at all unless she reaches out first. This does seem to be the case. Sometimes, she might call or text them, and either they don't respond or don't answer, and that's it. They never get back to her. Even though I've noticed this more in recent years, she she said they have basically treated her this way for most of her life. But if it was her sisters, they would be there in a jiffy or be right on it. I can kind of see it. She said she gets the feeling that they are just too concerned about living their life, and ultimately must not care that much.
We can't really even remember the last time they came over to our house to visit or spend time with us and our son. She said if it wasn't for their grandchild, we'd probably never hear from them. Oh, and keep in mind, they only live 10 minutes away!
So.... does this seem weird at all to anyone? It seems pretty messed up to me. I encouraged her to talk to them, ask questions, but I think she is scared to. I was an only child and had a different relationship with my parents. When my Dad was alive, I talked to him everyday. Also, my mom, even though I don't talk to her on the phone every day, I still talk to her every day via facebook messenger. To me, it seems kind of strange that you wouldn't want to be in some kind of contact with your kid, at least a couple times a week at the bare minimum, whether its a call, text, what have you. Especially when they have a kid!

It's a throwaway account as I don't want this to relate to me.
My ex girlfriend is a cancer. I [m] am a Sagittarius. We came together when we were both 16. We are both 29 now. It was the most beautiful time of my life. I loved her more than I loved anybody else after her. To be honest I never loved again afterwards. Just the thought of her gives me goosebumps. I cannot describe how much I adore this woman. It just feels like I am the biggest fan of her. I love just watching her.
As beautiful as our relationship was it was also very troubling. The highs were very high and the lows were very low. I was an insecure 18 year old boy who was not able to give her the freedom (cancer) she needs and that is why she reacted very harsh, loud and emotional sometimes. In retroperspective we were just both very young which we also agreed on. But more to that later.
After roughly 2 years she ended things with me. I was shattered but I accepted it. Few weeks later she wrote me again and one for year we had an on- and off thing where we alwasy saw us again after a few weeks, argued again, and that repeated itself. Until the point where the fighting became so bad and she said stuff which hurt me so bad that I left one evening and never wrote her again. Neither did she.
After her I was in two relationships which held for two years. She wrote me in the first relationship again, while she was also havin a boyfriend, but I blocked that approach very fast as I was still healing from the horrible things she said to me. It always felt as I needed to be tough around her while my more sensitive side was only accepted under certain conditions.
She never ever got out of my head. I found texts which I wrote to my ,then pre now ex girlfriend, where I told her that my ex (the cancer in question) wrote me again (see above) and that I think she is the most beautiful woman and I still think about her.
Now to the horrible part. After I terminated the last relationship, I wanted to write her again. I always wanted to. But it took me seven months to find the courage. After I asked her if she wanted to meet she immediately replied with yes which was very relieving for me. Funny enough she actually saw me in a bar ( I did not see her) three days prior but she wrote that she didn't have the courage to talk to me. Please bear in mind that I have not seen her for five years (I was looking for her) in the city even if we live quite closely.
Fast forward we met one week later on saturday night. However, two days prior she wrote me again mentioning that she has a boyfriend and told him only that day that she would meet me. She wrote that she is astonished that this date is a problem for her boyfriend as he is not the jealous type. She asked me to confirm that I will not try anything which I did. I told her that I basically just wanted to see how her life went the last couple of years but also to apologize for all the horrible stuff I did in our relationship ( I did and she did as well). I told her that it is okay if she did not want to meet. I told her two times and both times she insisted that she wanted to meet me. She said that she had to explain it and it is okay now.
So we met. As I was waiting for her my heart beat like crazy. When she came around the corner it was like a lighnting struck me. I immediately knew that I am and always be in love with her. We basically spent the whole evening together until the bar closed down (around 11pm). While coming back from the toilet I saw her talking on the phone with her boyfriend telling him it will be another hour or so.
I really had the feeling that there was still something very strong between us. For the first hours we just chatted but afterwards we talked about our broken relationship and how and why it had ended. It was emotional and magical for me. I think for her as well but I don't trust my feelings that much anymore. As I intended I said sorry for the horrible things I said and did during our relationship and she did as well. She asked me several times why I left my other relationships. I told her that after her I loved with my head but not my heart. That I knew I needed someone who is not that emotional but a calm person after her. And finally I told her that after her it never burned again for anyone. I was not clear that I would like to be together with her again, as she has a boyfriend. I just told her I don't want to be with anyone again if it does not feel the way it did with her.
She also said, which was very rough for me, that her father talks very highly about me and no one will ever come who is loved by him as I was. She said that this was the real romantic relationship in that time (jokingly). Here are some other signals which I don't know how to read:

• In a silent moment she looked at me and said with a smirk: What is it? I asked her the same question and then followed with: it just think this is beautiful to which she said: Yes I also think so. It was a thunderstorm in my heart.
• When talking about her boyfriend who was not happy at first she again said that she did not think that of him and then said: we will see
• When saying goodbye she hugged me around the shoulders and said: we will do that again. Will we see us again? Of course I said yes.
• She said she doesn't really know why she ended things with me
• She talked very highly about my parents/ their relationship and she still wears the perfume my mother bought her when we were together.
• She talked a lot about the good and funny moments we had

After coming home I felt like shit. I puked as it was so much too handle for me. I dreamt of her the whole night and I felt miserable the next day. I was heartbroken. I am still now. It has been two weeks and I can't stop thinking of her.
As she told me that she would see her father 3 days later I wrote her again asking her to say greetings and she should ask him for a book which I do not remember and he gave me to read at that time. Please see, that she suggested that her father and me should meet again. So I don't think it was inappropriate and I did not get the signals that she does not want me in her life.
I did not hear from her until one week later. She wrote back that she said the greetings and he unfortunately cannot remember the book but she gave him my number ( I did not hear from him until now). She also apologized in the text message for not writing back one week. I interpreted that as being friendly but also distant so I just wrote back "thank you :)" to which she not replied. For me it feels like i got the hint.
I am still stuck and thinking about her. All the time. I know she is a cancer so I don't want to set up pressure or take her freedom. That's why I have not written her again. Also I doesn't feel great knowing she has a boyfriend. I really felt something on that evening and I have the feeling that she also did. But I don't want to trust myself on that one.
Her birthday is on the 29th of june. So im planning to wait until then to wish her a happy birthday and send her a picture from 7 years ago when we went away for her birthday. I would also ask her then if she want to see me again. But for me it's horrible to wait that long. I even don't know if I could accept the anwser. I also don't know if it's right to wait that long or if there even is a chance. Her signals, in my opinion, pointed towards that she wants me in her life. I just don't know how. I don't know how to act. If it's clingy if I write her again. She sent a signal for me with waiting one week to reply to my message.
Would you write her again, wait for her birthday or just try to get over it?
I am very sorry for the long text but I needed to get it out.
Thank you :)

hey so this is going to be a really funny one for you all but let me just tell you because i need some tips okay so thing the thing is that my boyfriend like which who is not my boyfriend right now he he just does not accept us as friends and neither do i so like uh because we are long distance we have gave up like not really gave up we think that uh uh we thought that it's better if we continue this relationship with being as friends but ( yup were not that friends ) we are not that serious though like we always are so much oprn to each other to be called as friends he's 19 and i am 17 so like um the thing is um we are not friends we are more than friends and we even talk dirty the thing is that um he um i feel like i like even though we always talk like throughout the whole day and even he's having his holidays right now he was in college and he's doing b-tech so the thing is um uh i feel like i'm the only one who just like over texts him too much and i just give him lots of love and i even we tell each other uh like a lot of things he also opens up a lot to me like he does not have anyone except me he always tells everything each and every detail of his life to me and he feels really comfortable with me but uh what i want to say is i feel like i text way too much and i just want even though i don't text him sometimes from my side he still texts me but sometimes i feel like i text him too much and he just does not love me that much or just likes to tell me or likes the attention that i give and likes how much i listen to him i am i'm not just able to figure out that if he really likes me or not so what should i do to know that um he likes me and how can i just make him text me first and miss me a lot more than how i miss him. i miss him way too much so i want to know how much he misses me so what should i do and can you just tell me how to do it over text because we're long distance and we don't even call so uh that much so can you just tell me if over text how can i do it.

I (23m) started my national service at a reputable company in December, and as time went on this lady (24 let’s call her A) joined my sales team, when she joined she was already seeing a colleague ( let’s call him C ) but then left him for another colleague let’s call him ( sh) who at the time was in a talking stage with another work colleague ( let’s call her M), the ladies in question stated having issues with themselves so they started causing themselves and they started hating themselves, (wondering how I came into the picture) A and I use the same rout to and from work so basically we were walking together mainly in the morning and after work, so she stated telling me all these things and I was only giving her a listening ear, but it turns out other colleagues in the sales team started avoiding me, when I greet them in the mornings they would be acting strange and honestly i really don’t make friends that much so I wasn’t bothered, only for me to walk into a conversation between Sc, M and C saying the wished I was not in the team because they feel I give A information on what they say about her, NB: sometime we kinda talk about ourselves in a healthy manner so I didn’t think much of that .
So I just decided to forgo all this drama and concentrate on finishing my service and braking tides with them, so I decided not to answer any calls from A in and out of work to avoid any further drama. So we come to work we cool, but she also started acting funny, but it never bothered me so Yh, but when work closed I would either tell her I’m not going home now so she’d take the lead, same thing in the mornings too.
I feel I’m overreacting here. Pls AITHA

Morning ladies. Allow me to pick your brains.
I had dated mostly men that should have stayed in the friendship zone until my late husband. He was VERY masculine and that turned me on SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! He was blue collar and worked with his hands. Sexy. But, we struggled in the conversation department and we didn’t have much in common. Fireworks don’t last forever if the foundation isn’t strong. I’m not sure how much of that has to do with gender or just general incompatibility. It is relevant on some level. All of my interests are typical girly types of things. I don’t care about sports or anything traditionally “masculine.”
Just started talking with an old friend from college. He’s def cute but i wouldn’t say sexy. Very compatible. He’s so funny and we have everything in common. He’s like metrosexual hipster dad. skinny. Ex was very muscular which was sexy.
Just wondering how the sexual energy would work with a more feminine guy. Perhaps not as strong initially but the overall relationship could be better in the long-term due to the strong friendship/foundation???? Maybe at this age (mid-40s), sexual chemistry less important??? Ugh, Idk.
Anyone have experience with this conundrum?
Oh, one other thing. I told him it looks like he’s been keeping it together. He said, “I know. I look and feel better than I ever have.” He did not say one word about me but I KNOW I look good for my age. Is this an ominous warning??? Or, just….eh no one is perfect….
Would love to hear about your experiences dating across the (straight male) gender spectrum.

Hello. As the title says, what are your tips in maintaining a normal blood pressure as you approach your 30s? For background purposes, whenever I ask our company nurse to check my BP, my BP usually ranges from 130/90-140/100. These readings are usually taken in an airconditioned room at around lunch break. I heard that BP readings should be done first thing in the morning and last thing to do before sleeping, so I don’t know if noon readings are appropriate. I’m on meds, febuxostat 40mg as my IM considers my elevated blood uric acid as culprit for my high blood pressure. The funny thing though is even if I’m on meds, my blood pressure still ranges the same. Please help. Thanks!

Ok so I'm sat here thinking of the show randomly and then I somehow come up with a crazy fan theory/plot twist that I legit cannot explain away!
Ok so as we all remember Elena was placed under a sleeping beauty curse but the only thing that can revive her is the death of her most loyal friend Bonnie, at the end of the show we see Elena woke up and Bonnie claims she "found a way around it" but what if Bonnie did die? I know I know it's a awful thing but I can't explain it away for some reason. Bonnie in the last season was this ultra power tripping witch who also has the power to create a pocket realm, now Kai's spell only says she has to die not move on.
So in my head I was thinking Bonnie created a pocket realm long enough to interact with everyone say her hellos and goodbyes then take down her realm to live in peace with her Gramms, Dad and eventually her mother when she dies but most importantly her then lover Enzo! She was heartbroken when he was killed so much so it awoke her psychic powers to protect him. (Yes I'm a Benzo shipper sue me) now the reason I can't explain away this thought is Bonnie died before and made it look like she went "travelling" like the girl knows how to fake her life so I just think it's funny she chooses to go travelling after the final episode.
I'm a Bonnie lover it's not that I want her dead but kinda feel this would be the writers and Julie's way of killing her without killing her lol.
Thanks for coming to my random thought talk. If you're still here thanks so much for sticking with it lol.

I'm an aries and two months ago a scorpio guy who I was dating at the time broke up with me and I still can't get over him. We dated for a couple of months only but it was quite an experience, in a good sense. We matched instantly in every aspect, and I thought, finally, I met someone who matched me on every level. He's smart, hot, ambitious, confident, funny and a little weird which I loved! I really enjoyed the time we spent together and I felt I could really be myself around him. So it was fun and reciprocal at the very beginning but by the end things started changing from his side and I couldn't understand why. The vibe certainly changed. He was still nice and everything but I felt he was becoming distant. And then one day, he said we needed to talk and he broke things off with me saying he didn't have feelings for me anymore and said he wanted to remain friends. I had never dated a scrorpio before and this experience did shatter me as I was thinking he was the one and what we had was so great. I went no contact with him as I realized I couldn't be just his friend but time passes and I'm still thinking about him.. How on earth can I get over this guy? :(

I got my little guy about 8 months ago from an adoption center. He was about 2 years old and described as shy and sweet. While he can be sweet I feel like shy was an under exaggeration. I've lived with cats and I've taken care of cats. I've even briefly owned 2 cats before finding out my mother was so allergic she'd have asthma attacks and because at the time I was living in her home I wasn't allowed to keep them.
Shy isn't the word I'd use or atleast only word to describe my little guy. He is terrified of seemingly the simplest things. I can't hold him. He doesn't cuddle. If we have people over (which we rarely do.) he runs for the hills even people he's met several times. Doing anything but feeding or playing with him is a nightmare because he is so scared.
Flea treatment, collars, picking him up, forget trying to cut his nails or get him in a carrier. He acts like your trying to murder him and it feels like we are set back several months anytime I have to do any of this stuff. He loves treats on his terms and forget trying to bribe him or give a peace offering.
He wants nothing to do with you as soon as he's figured out it's something he doesn't like. Not even his 'jackpot' treats. I'm surprised I'm even allowed to brush him or pet him. Now I'll have you know he doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body. He's never bitten or even hissed at me but I feel extremely guilty over just doing basic things for his health especially when it seems to deteriorate our relationship. He only comes to me for food and snacks and sometimes play/attention but won't hang out with me and is mostly only active when my partner is home for lunch or home from work for the day. I have to say I feel pretty jealous because I feel like I do the most for him but get the least love or affection even though he's supposed to be my emotional support animal. He's basically just a financial cost with claws and attitude that causes me lots of sadness and anxiety in a life already filled with depression and severe anxiety that I'm being treated for.
I feel like I've tried every everything I can think of and any progress is deleted as soon as I have to for example reapply flea treatment. He has plenty of toys and scratchers and climbers. He has appropriate places to hide and sleep. He has places to sunbath and even a catio and 2 litterboxes. We have playtime and feeding times and he even plays just fine by himself. He likes boxes, bugs, and snake/streamer toys and he has up high places he can go. I get cats can be aloof, standoffish, and independent. I even get that he's in his brat teen phrase but I'm worried if our home is the right fit for him. If I AM the right fit for him. I feel like it shouldn't be this traumatic just putting flea treatments on or cutting his nails. (Which we can't we have to take him to his vet every 4 to 6 weeks. ) I watched Jackson Galaxy, I've tried just giving my kitty his space, I've tried bribes, and training him. He just has NO give or tolerance. This whole experience sometimes makes me feel like I hate cats, I'm a terrible pet parent or that I just don't have the experience to deal with this kind of cat. Which is funny because I've been around all sorts of cats from shy and skittish to the confident bully.
I just don't know what to do anymore besides rehoming him or taking him back to the adoption center. I could really use some advice.

Here is a review i wrote for my dumb course, i just wanted to share it, love to hear your opinions about it:
Questioning of life and death has always been the main questions of human beings since the dawn of time because there is no concept that life doesn’t cover. Life is all the things we see, understand and feel. There is nothing outside life, not even death is outside the life, you can only die when you are alive. Philosophy is evolved around these concepts since they are the only things we can truly define as real, even some philosophers, like Albert Camus said that only valuable question that can be asked in philosophy is that “does committing suicide make sense?” this question is questioning of life and death. The value of life and what is defined as a good death, or a happy death is also questioned a lot throughout the time. Shakespeare said something similar to Camus “To be or not to be, that is the question.” The whole quote that comes from hamlet walking inside the palace talking to himself questioning the life, what can death possibly mean anything but to sleep and he says you can either dream or not dream when asleep and says dreaming is bad, he basically says existence of afterlife is bad but entering the void is good. The reason I talked about these concepts is these are the most basic structures of humanism and I`ve always been a humanist that is why I like art so much and especially written form of art which is the most valuable one “literature”. “Death of Ivan Ilyich” was one of the most “humanist” books Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy has ever written, therefore in my opinion it`s one of his most “literate” books. It is one of last books it was written in 1886 Lev Nikolayevich died in 1910 when he was 82 years old.
Tolstoy has always been a humanist, he searched for a meaningful life, he was a noble man, his parents were landlords as he was too, he had plenty of money, but he saw no point in living a life like that, he couldn’t trick himself to care about nothing and live a life without worrying about anything, he couldn’t deny the burning love for humans inside him, he tried to define this love in many ways, throughout his life he had many different identities. He fought in wars, he lived as a peasant, he married had 13 children. He was a man of God, and his main idea was a person must believe in God because God means love and humans must love, and this feeling can be gathered around the concept of God for it to reach higher levels. He had many processes and different identities in his life, and he lived a long one. Even when he was about the die, he decided to start a new life, he took one of his daughters with him and went on a train to somewhere new which he died in the journey which is kind of the same with Ivan Ilyich, he was moving out to a new house (a new journey) damaged himself while carrying a furniture and died because of that. One of the most well-known quote of Lev Nikolayevich is “Maybe I am not living the life that I was supposed to live” which is said in this book by Ivan Ilyich. My observation is that Ivan Ilyich`s life was a life that Tolstoy might have lived and a life he is glad that he didn’t live. He could just like be Ivan Ilyich. He could have lived a prosperous life, he could have been a well-known and respected man because of his bureaucratic position, he could have surround himself around fake people who only sees him as his position, but he didn’t chose this path instead he has chosen a humanist path which he figured was the right path. There is a third path which I think well educated Russian youth was more prone to at 19th century which is a Nihilism path. A one could read this book and say, Ivan`s worries about he could have act differently and might have lived a better life (less fake one), could have surrounded himself with people that care more about him as a person are pointless because he would still think the same or had different regrets when he was dying, since this is an absurd and pointless situation a nihilist person (most of Tolstoy`s reader at that time) would say Ivan`s questioning in death is an inevitable situation and it’s the sick mindset of a person who is dying. On the other hand, one of my favorite quotes from the book is “People were looking and Ivan and were pitying like death is an exclusive concept for Ivan and is not going to happen to them” people were almost sub consciously happy that death didn’t find them, it happened to Ivan, they were almost acting like Ivan dying makes them less likely to die. In the end, this corrupted mind of all the people we see is mainly because they are so far away from being humanists and all of them are capitalist materialistic people that are brainwashed by the current state of world and comfortable to live in this delusional bureaucratic illusion. We can see Gerasim, who is the caregiver of Ivan Ilyich is the most human person in the book despite the fact that he is the lowest person in others eyes because he is a butler and has a low position in terms of materialistic scale. In the end this comes to a classical conclusion that you can’t carry your possessions to the other world, you can only carry your soul or as it is said in the book “Dead person was lying in the coffin just like all the other dead people”.
This work is a total classic because of the universality of the topics it investigates and will always be around in the world, people will read this book maybe in different planets just like we read it I have no doubt. To me this book is one of the special ones because of this weird experience I had with it. The first time I read this book which was 2 years ago I went to my father and mocked with him in a funny way by saying “You are a classical bureaucrat like Ivan you will end like him you need to do something about this, quit your job you don’t need money or high position these are not the meaning or important things in life” and we had a funny conversation, I tried to convince him to quit his job and kept telling him he is going to die he can’t know when, life is not something like this. One week later we got covid-19 and 2 weeks later he died I told this story because it is an absurd death like all deaths, it just happens in the flow of life, and you always feel like it’s not going to happen to you or your loved ones (it is so absurd to think this it makes no sense but we still think that way) but it always does, just like people around Ivan Ilyich we all going to experience it we shouldn’t approach this topic as fiction or a abstract topic it is the one most real reality of life.

Round 12 deadline: Friday 24th May, 12pm GMT

Hello everyoneeee! Since I keep missing days I've decided to just post as soon as I can instead of waiting till the evening, so this round is going to end at midday tomorrow. So, which episode is being eliminated today?
...
A LOT TO TAKE IN. Despite having some really funny moments, the first Lucy episode got 4 votes, two more than the other highest voted episodes, meaning we have to say goodbye to Mr Cheese 😭.
Which episode will be the next to go? It's up to youuuuu.
Also, this round is going to be another special one where you can...

Vote twice!

.
Vote for the 2 episodes that you like *the least. The episode that gathers the most votes will be eliminated with the **21st place in this game. Make sure you have watched all episodes before voting and don't vote more than once. (I don't think you can anyway)*

VOTE IN ROUND 12 HERE

Round 11 results
Episodes Alive: (SPOILERS!!!)
S1E1 - Who Do You Think You Are?:

• Alison and Mike inherit Button House
• Ghosts haunt them
• Captain annoyed at Fanny screaming

S1E2 - Gorilla War:

• Mike starts renovating house
• Ghosts annoy Alison
• Alison accepts ghosts as real

S1E3 - Happy Death Day:

• Pat's death day, family visit
• Kitty asks where babies come from
• Captain & Julian try to get rid of builders

S1E5 - Moonah Ston:

• Beg-Chetwyns visit for dinner party
• Captain & Mary help kill/prepare pheasant
• Ghosts do Moonah Ston ritual & watch Friends

S2E3 - Redding Weddy:

• Captain flashback
• A&M clear garden
• Fanny fancies Mike
• Pat keeps ghosts occupied (moon landing video, volleyball)

S2E4 - The Thomas Thorne Affair:

• Thomas death flashbacks
• Mike worries about meeting Alison's ex

S2E5 - Bump in the Night:

• Alison goes out
• Burglars break into house
• Ghosts try to warn Mike

S2E7 - The Ghost of Christmas:

• Mike's family visit for Xmas, parents help too much
• Julian feels guilty about avoiding family at Xmas
• Alison gets presents for ghosts

S3E1 - The Bone Plot:

• TV crew making documentary about Humphrey (death flashback)
• Julian thinks Barclay is having heart attack
• Pat tries to make Fanny & Captain laugh
• Thomas prepares Alison for interview

S3E3 - The Woodworm Men:

• A&M camp outside during fumigation
• Kitty watches Grease

S3E4 - I Love Lucy:

• Captain spies on Lucy
• Julian changes Mike's emails
• Fanny has affair with Humphrey's body

S3E5 - Something to Share?:

• Kitty shares story about ball
• Mike tries to find way to see ghosts

S3E6 - Part of the Family:

• Mike films promotional video
• Ghosts find out Lucy is lying
• Ghosts do drama/improvisation club

S4E2 - Speak as ye Choose:

• Annie teaching Mary to say what she wants flashback
• Kitty shows Captain how to live in moment
• Thomas goes cold turkey on Alison addiction
• Mike's old friends stay at gatehouse

S4E3 - The Hardest Word:

• A&M try to have relaxing day
• Ghosts make apology song

S4E4 - Gone Gone:

• Pat cheers Kitty up over Mary moving on
• Mike organises children's birthday party last minute
• Alison helps ghosts deal with their feelings about Mary

S4E6 - Not Again:

• Robin's death flashback
• Mike buys giant bear
• Kitty starts talking by saying opposite of what she means

S4E7 - It's Behind You:

• Ghosts put on panto
• Alison shows Pat old VHS recordings
• A&M get stuck in traffic on way to parents

S5E1 - Fools:

• Alison does April Fool's pranks on ghosts
• Insurance company person investigates insurance claim for fire

S5E3 - Pineapple Day:

• Ghosts figure out how Kitty died
• Mike discusses selling land with Barclay
• Thomas, Julian & Humphrey want blue plaque
• Kitty watches 'Is It Cake?'

S5E5 - Carpe Diem:

• A&M have spontaneous night out
• Robin thinks someone will move on before midnight
• Fanny & Julian make most of possible last day
• Captain's death flashback

Eliminated Episodes:
34th place: S5E7 - A Christmas Gift
33rd place: S3E7- He Came!
32nd place: S2E1 - The Grey Lady
31st place: S2E2 - About Last Night
30th place: S4E5 - Poached Guests
29th place: S4E1 - Happy Holiday
28th place: S1E4 - Free Pass
27th place: S5E2 - Home
26th place: S1E6 - Getting Out
25th place: S5E4 - En Français
24th place: S5E6 - Last Resort
23rd place: S2E6 - Perfect Day
22nd place: S3E2 - A Lot to Take In

We’ve been together for 20 years, married for 12. 41(f) 40(m). So Dday was nearly 4 months ago. Where I found deleted text messages between him and a work colleague which told me they were more than just friends. I challenged him and he denied anything at first and then after pulling the information from him, he said they had kissed once, then after speaking to the OBS, turns out they’d kissed twice, met up for coffee outside of work etc. We agreed we would reconcile, he would start therapy for his own mental health and work through his need for validation from others. He took 12 weeks off from work to sort himself out. I thought we were making progress. He’s gone back to work and not seen the AP since the day I confronted him. But I checked his phone and saw that he’s been deleting Facebook messenger chats with another woman at work. Another woman I was concerned about 4 months ago. I can only see the notification history where she’s requesting work related stuff, but why delete them? I’ve challenged him and he’s saying there’s nothing to worry about, but then if there’s nothing to hide then why delete??? He said he deleted them because he was worried I might not be happy about it! I said he should have spoken to me about it and I would have been ok, as it’s work related.
I’m so confused. I hate that I’ve become a paranoid shell of who I used to be. Am I overreacting here??

I've written a small program in Haskell that allows me to interact with Google's Gemini via Terminal and via VIM.
It worked for about a week and then, suddenly, every request resulted in a connection timeout.
At first, I thought the issue was with my API key, or with the fact that I was using a VPN. But while debugging, I've discovered that EVERY SINGLE REQUEST done with http-conduit fails.
For example: If I open ghci -package http-conduit and run

parseRequest "GET https://www.facebook.com" >>= httpBS 

I get a Connection timeout exception.
It does not matter what website I choose. I should say that CURL has no problem getting the responses, so it is definitely not my internet connection (evidenced by the fact that I'm asking for help here).
What could be causing this?

So I just had my first experience with sextortion, and for someone who is incredibly anxious about anything online, it was horrible.
So I decided to dabble in online dating, because it’s something I have never done before. I ended up matching with someone who asked for my Snapchat. We began conversing on Snapchat and sharing photos and videos (some of a suggestive nature), and then they asked for my Instagram. I told them that I wasn’t comfortable sharing my instagram with them, then they sent the message saying they had my videos and were about to send them to my friends and family and “ruin my life” unless I paid.
I quickly blocked and reported them, and also sent a report to Australia’s E-Safety commissioner. I’m thinking that because they only had my Snapchat, and not my instagram, they don’t have details on who my friends and family are. Alarmingly, the threatening message was accompanied by a screenshot of my location on snap maps, but I don’t think there’s much that can be obtained from this other than IP address maybe.
I set my Facebook and instagram to private and disconnected it from other search engines like google, in case they use a photo of my face to search for me or something, and also set my friends list to private.
Hopefully that is all…

This is going to be long. And I just need to tell someone the whole story without interruptions. I´m not good at writing and English is not my first language.
As a child I thought that my family was super boring and normal. Gradually I have found out that my family is incredibly messed up. I need help and advice in managing my feelings about my family. I can´t afford therapy.
My parents got a divorce when I was 14. It was hard and all of the family secrets started to come out. My mother was physically abusive to me and my siblings when we were younger. As we grew up, she was mostly just emotionally abusive. When dad moved away she started to alienate us from dad. She denies that and still tries to make dad the bad guy. I have described the life after dad moving out as me becoming "the wall" between my siblings and our mom. Before that our dad was the wall. Before the divorce I wasn´t aware that my family had any problems. My parents hid it very well. Before dad moved away, he was the wall. He took all of the abuse from mom and after I took it. As the oldest kid in the fam, I guess it was just easy to abuse me the most.
Living with mom was difficult. She decided what the mood of the day was. I was scared to come out of my room some days when I could sense that she was in a bad mood. With her you always had to be a certain way. We could not show our true emotions, because she would punish us for it. Whenever we did something wrong she liked to humiliate us infront of the whole family. She yelled at us and said the most vile and insulting things to us just because she felt it was good parenting. She used to use prayers against us. Before dinners she sometimes mentioned something very specific one of us had done wrong but didn´t use names. Example would be like, if I had made a mistake that she deemed to be unforgivable she would say "Help us realize all of the mistakes we have done and apologize to one another." But my mother only apologized when it was convenient for her. And she was never wrong. Everything was always someone elses fault.
There is so much to tell and I want to but I can´t think of it now. Instead I will tell somethings from my parents childhoods.
My great grandmother favored boys over girls. And she treated my grandmother very badly. In turn my grandma was very abusive to my mother and her siblings. She grew up in a abusive family and had a alcoholic as a dad and a narcissist as a mother. This explains her behavior but it doesn´t excuse it.
My dad´s childhood is completely different. He hasn´t talked a lot about it, but I know that he has a lot of trauma too. His brother died from a gunshot wound when he was a child. I happened right infront of my dad. And his sister died of cancer when he was an adult. She died before I was born. Mental health wasn´t talked about a lot in the 80´ so he never truly processed his emotions. And moving with an abusive partner didn´t allow him to process any of it for years either. Only now he has started to figure those feelings out.
This has all affected me and my siblings. My dad is very depressed, and my mother definitely has a personality disorder and some narcissist traits, but she refuses to see anything wrong with herself. I have recently realized that I just have to let go of hoping that my mother changes. And I hope that writing all of this helps.
I got too overwhelmed at 19 living with my mom, so I decided that I would move in with my dad. The only reason I stayed for so long is my sister. I didn´t want the emotional abuse to turn to her after I left so that´s why I stayed. At some point I just lost it and started crying. My sister has said that that was the day she decided to come with me. So we moved to dads. Thanks to that she has actually started to form healthy habits and has had time to grow in an abusive free home. My dad isn´t the best parent. But he is way better than my mom.
My brother chose to stay with mom. He doesn´t really understand how abusive our mother is. Because with our mom you are not allowed to show emotions, my brother has anger issues and is very emotionally stunted. He now lives on his own, but he is still dealing with a lot of issues. He has problems with alcohol and drugs, and has been to jail twice, that I know of. He has threatened to kill himself while drunk, he has also come at my dad with a knife and threatened to kill him and mom( separate situations). And also he has destroyed our grandparent property and threatened to burn the house down. I am very scared for him, because this ends in only three ways. Either he gets help, kills someone or kills himself. My dad is trying to help him, my mother says that he does it for attention and I´m just so exhausted from all of this and I don´t know what to do. My brother is also somewhat like our mother.
I have written down some of my feelings on my notes app over the years and I will write them here. ( they are in Finnish so I had to translate, and I used google translate so sorry if it doesn´t make sense) I wrote all of these through the years:
1. Well, I'm sure I'm not interested in living when I live with you. So mother doesn't realize that when we live with her, no one wants to help her because she treats us like her slaves. At my father's place, we want to help him with cleaning and other things because he deserves it. He never asks us to do too much, but he expects us to do our part. And so, yes, mother too, but mother pressures and yells at us for not doing housework. But dad doesn't force us to do anything. We just want to help him
2. Our mother is the tnt near which I at least have to be really careful because if I make even one wrong move it will explode and cause a lot of damage. My mother doesn't realize how much she has destroyed my self-esteem just because she is sometimes wrong. Once mother told me that we should start bible study when bro comes because he was late. So I went back to my room. Then he came and I went to the kitchen while he was getting food. And mother had started bible study without us. I asked what this is, she had the nerve to even start crying because I'm never on time. And I thought that she herself didn't inform me that they were starting bible study and she shouted to us to go to hell. And bro even starts to cry. And then she just calmly continues with sis. I couldn't come out of my room that whole evening because I was really scared. And then I didn't talk to my mother until the evening. And when we talked, of course it was my fault again and my mother didn't have to apologize.
Then we moved on to the topic that mom has to do all the housework, so she has the right to be tired and yell at us. And I knew that I couldn't get my mother to understand, as usual, that she was wrong. And then we just kept going with mom and bro as normal, and mom even forced us to stop work for that. Because our schedules don't mean anything and bro was still working until nine because of that. We all suffer because of my mother, and I'm probably the most because when my father moved, all his behavior was directed at me, and I'm afraid that if I move, it will be directed at him.
And mom always finds a new object of pressure. The first was to send job applications and then it was to take shifts. It never ends. she just wants money from me. Mom doesn't treat me like her daughter. But more like a roommate. She might sometimes say that she loves me. And then I have to keep mom happy all the time and be careful what I say because mom's mood changes really fast and she gets angry in 0.01 seconds. It's really hard for me to give up this habit, wherever I am. Even at my father's place, I can't calm down that he's about to explode and I'm observing the atmosphere there as well. My father's face and his speech and tone of voice. It's really hard to keep this up. But there is no other option because I really can't live with my mother anymore. And mother is one of those people who make you forget all the bad things they have done to you.
And if we have a problem with bro and he doesn't behave properly, mom just says that he doesn't know how to control his emotions. And I'm not allowed to say anything that could make him angry because mom says so. But he has done the same himself. That seems really unfair. Mom doesn't really try to do anything about his behavior, but she always complains to me and sis if we behave the same way. I'm tired of living with that person.
3.It's funny when in meetings they talk about the fact that one's own actions have effects on others, especially one's own children. And mom complains about it to us, but she herself behaves badly and does not change her ways.
Living with my mother is so great because if you sense that her mother is even a little bit angry about something, you have NO right to talk to her. And then when shes angry, I'm really afraid to come out of my room. Mom is frankly the worst kind of dictator. It even made bro cry today and that rarely happens. She tells us to go to hell. So living here is dangerous. You're a nervous wreck when you've moved out of here.
Mom is a perfect little angel to all her friends and parishioners, but no one knows that mom is a real devil at home. And she is also the victim in all problems, but it is actually the beginning of all problems.
4. My mom treats me as if my dad had poisoned my mind and turned me against her, and my mom behaves as if my dad was the devil and my dad destroyed our family, and she manipulates everyone into believing it and thinking that way. And I don't know what I believe anymore. They are my parents and I know that my mom is a manipulative person, but what do I do with this matter. I can't live with anyone. If I live with my mom, I can't think about things anymore and I can't talk to anyone, and if I live with my dad, my mom turns everything against me and I become an outsider.
5. A memory of my mom came to mind. Mom hated slamming doors and reminded us of it sometimes. I guess she has some traumas from it. Once, bro went to his room in anger and accidentally or intentionally slammed the door, and mom got really angry. Mom went very quickly to bros room, closed the door and I heard bro say that it was an accident and he cried when mom beat bro. Probably with a belt or something. Mom no longer beats us when we are older and bigger than her. It just seems a bit like she stopped beating us because we know its wrong so she doesn't want anyone to know.
6. This is the last damn trip with mom and bro. Mom doesn't really understand what no means. She tried to get me to go to sleep dozens of times today, and I said a million times that don't annoy me, I'll go right away, but no, mom doesn´t know what no means. Damn bastard. I will never go anywhere with my mother again. I'm so fucking grateful that I moved away from that bitch
And bro is just stupid. And he complains and mocks and sneers all the time and is just in a bad mood all the time. Who the hell can stand a fucking idiot. He is the most uncomfortable person I know. He always has to sneer, he never says anything nice. I can't stand being around him. It's a good thing that it lives far away, so you don't have to see it anymore unless you have to. I can't wait to get home. I'm not going to last the next two days with those two bastards
And all the time we have to talk about alcohol and drugs. And the bros episode was scary. How does he think that such behavior is ok. And he didn't even apologize afterwards and he still dared to be mean and idiotic in the evening.
These are most of the ones about my family. I have a lot of notes about my self and my feelings too but this is about my family. If anyone reads this thank you. And if anyone has advice, I´m all ears. I wanted to write so much more, but it just vanished from my mind. So if you have questions, please ask.

So (i 17F) we were at a school trip abroad and all my class was staying in the same hotel, we all met up every night in someone’s room to drink play smoke and in general have fun. The first night the topic of break ups came out and my classmate that we’ll call Jim (17M) told us he had just broke up from his gf(19F) of 8 months about 4 days before this trip, a little back contest me and Jim have always been close in a flirting and playful friendship but when he got a gf I obviously stopped behaving like that with him, i also had a small crush on him but it faded for the same reason, anyway that night after we all came back from dinner i was complaining about having to do go up a hill to get to the hotel and so he just picked me up and brought me to the hotel, even though i told him that he didn’t have to do it ,also because he has back problems, but he said he was fine and that i didnt weight much. The next day we spent it together basically every time laughing playing jokes and having fun and plotting what games to do all together that night and i told him that with my friends we had come up with truth or dare and 7 minutes in heaven , after explaining to him what the second game was he asked how we’d make the couples and i told him that a girl in our class, that we’ll call Sarah(17F), would’ve chosen the couples, then i joked around saying that id ask her to put the annoying girl with the guy that stinks and we laughed more. That night he stayed laying down with his head on my chest and since i was too drunk to mind and he was too we stayed like that until Sarah started playing truth or dare, a little more background we were 6 girls on that trip and we all are close so while getting ready we talked and gossiped and when they knew about Jim breaking up they all gave me a look since they knew I had a crush on him and decided to set me up with him, so after a few funny dares Sarah decided to dare me and Jim to kiss he was slightly reluctant but in the end he kissed me and it wasn’t like a fast kiss on the lips but it was a legit kiss, but we didnt make a fuss out of it and went back laying down like we were before, then Sarah switched to playing 7 minutes in heaven and after choosing the funny couples she sent me and him together. We went to the bathroom and after a bit of ice breaking we made out for a while, his hands all over me and you know the usual. Anyway we got out of the bathroom and promised not to tell anyone what really happened there, of course i told my friends but they wouldn’t say anything and keep the secret. So here is the problem after that he was distant from me and it has been kind of awkward since then. I don’t think i want a romantic relationship with him but now our friendship is not going to be the same, and he hasn’t talked about what happened and I don’t know if something like hating will happen again. Any suggestions on how i should deal with this? Id also like to get some opinions on the matter.

Hi reddit, this is going to be a long one, so strap up:
I'm 22M in a relationship with my girlfriend 23F for 5 years, I really love her and want to have a future with her, but in the last year or so, we have been really close to breaking up.
The main issue is that on one side, she feels that I'm not putting enough effort and thought into the relationship, and on the other side, I feel overwhelmed by the relationship.
Here is the quick rundown on how I see us: We are both finishing college this year, whereas she might need an extra year or two. I am very passionate about life, I love self improvement, working out, reading books, running a business, have lots of hobbies and friends. She is opposite in this sense, as she has no ambition, no real friends, no hobbies or interests, apart from dogs, intstagram, titkok and netflix.
Here is the main problem, with university, running my business, working out, hobbies... my time is filled up. Even so, we still manage to hang out like 4-5 days of the week, and sleep over half of the time. Every day, we either text or talk with no more than 3 hours passed (that's the maximum time apart where I don't get a "Glad you remembered I exist 🙄 comment")
This has honestly become too hard for me to maintain, and has taken it's toll on me. I am trying to juggle all of my responsibilites, but it puts so much strain on me as I have to balance everything. I am stressing out about choosing whether: not to study, not finishing a work project on time and risking losing a client, not working out, OR upsetting my girlfriend.
She tried breaking up with me 2 times over the past year, as she feels she isn't getting enough attention, and that she is getting bored. She says she doesn't like that I don't plan dates for us, and that the relationship is getting monotonous, she is getting bored.
This is the most confusing part, she is getting bored, but wants to hang out all of the time. She wants to break the routine and do new things, but she doesn't have any interests or hobbies, and wants me to think of the date ideas. But honestly, I litteraly have no time to plan them out, as I'm either working, studying or hanging out with her, or if I do manage to find time for date ideas, I just get straight up rejected because she isn't into those things, or doesn't feel like doing that at that time. She doesn't want to shedule time together, as that is “boring” and makes her feel she is just one of my "tasks" to complete.
So basicaly, we meet on random times, for random durations, doing random things (watching tv, eating out, going for a walk, going to a mall, playing board games) which really makes it tough for me to surprise her or think of a interesting date.
But that just isn't enough for her. The worst thing is that I'm actually happy in the relationship, love spending time with her, and wouldn't mind her lack of ambition, hobbies or friends, as I love her fully, but she throws the ball at me, and makes me responsible for fixing it. And I physicaly don't have time for it.
I feel like I have to be the one entertaining her and meeting her needs fully, as she has no other outlet.
She is living with her parents, and they treat her like a personal maid, doing everything around the house and babysitting her younger sister, so I really feel and understand her need for excitement, fun, free time and adventures.
But I really can't do it alone guys, I am giving it my all, I have quit working out, or switching to 20-30min at home workouts at max, and declining to hang out with friends so we could have more time to be together.
I really love this person, she is loyal, caring, gorgeus, smart, funny. We share most of our important world views. We have talked about getting married, having kids and a future together.
But man, I feel like I can't do it for her. It seems to me that I have to give everything up to have her and to make her happy, and I want to. But then, I wouldn't be happy, and I would not be myself, and I think she wouldn't like that either.
I think that she is unhappy with her life, and that she is projecting it on me. And I fail at fixing it for her. I get why she is feeling that way. I'm, in her own words, the only positive thing in her life. But thats a huge burden for me. And it also makes me "responsible" for her feeling bad.
Throughout the relationship I have been waiting for her to move out of the toxic environment or for me to finish college, so we both could have more freedom, but that time still hasn't come, and she is on the verge of breaking up, or for me to act up and get more creative/involved in the relationship. But I honestly think that I can't do it, based on what I have said throughout the post.
Apart from the negativity caused by her life situation, and the lack of "life/fun/activities" without me, she really is the perfect girl. I am so torn apart, and have no idea how to solve it except breaking up with her. But I care about her and think that breaking up wouldn't fix anything in her life, and that she would just get more depressed, and I don't want that for her. I really do love her, and care her, even if we weren't to be together.
Do I risk everything for her, or do I let her be, and work on my life, or is there a way we can fix this that I am not seeing? Would love to hear your guys' opinions and thoughts on the whole situation.
TL;DR: I’m ambitious and always doing something, gf is opposite, which would be fine if she was happy with that, but she not, and wants me to fill in that void. I can’t make her find hobbies or friends, so I am torn between giving up my free time and ambitions for her, or letting her go.