Guy hovis ralna english divorce

(Sorry for my broken English) I would like to thank you for everyone helping and sending love and hugs about my dog aftercare earlier today. I’ve been reading everyone advices and support messages. It means a lot to me thank you.
My friend spent all day with me helped me with making phone calls and communicating with vet staff, cause too heartbroken and barely able to breathe and talk. Thank you my friend and staff took care of me and my furry best friend. Without them I don’t think I could go through this alone. I am still heartbroken and crying a lot but I feel better than earlier after all the support and help. Thank you guys!
(Off topic: I’ve seen a lot of people from toRANto disappointed with toronotians, but after this, people here online and also irl are warm and willing to showing care to strangers they never met before. I want to say 100000 times to everyone helped me THANK YOU, and please keeping sending hugs and love to people who need. I will try to do more from now on to make this city vibe better

We worked together at the same production facility for a few months, we don’t see each other anymore since he no longer works there. But before he left, he asked me to hook up with him and we did.
We haven’t been on a date but he recently texted me this month and he asked me to be his girlfriend….He kept texting and asking me if he can cum in me. He asked if I’d still be his girl if I get pregnant. Then he proceeds to text me no more dating other guys if I’ll be his girl.
We’ll be meeting up this weekend and he says he can’t wait to put a baby in me.
Is he really in love with me or is this a joke? He does have a son and has been divorced once.
Tl;dr hookup wants to have sex with me again but this time wants to cum in me and get me pregnant and also be his gf.

I’m hoping to get some insight from women who are more experienced with creepy guys, and guys in general.
I’ve never gotten much attention from guys, so I don’t know whether this interaction was creepy, or completely normal.
I also want to make it clear, I’m not interested in this guy, but I thought the compliment was nice.
I (F18) was at the gym today, and this guy kept glancing at me. Once I finished my workout, I was walking to my car when that same guy approached me. He tried to get my attention by saying something, but he didn’t speak English very well (he spoke Spanish), so he just gestured toward his phone. He google translated something like “you’re so beautiful, I love the way your eyes shine”. I thanked him, then he asked for my instagram, and I told him I didn’t have one (I really don’t, but even if I did, I would’ve responded the same way). He was just like “okay” and we said bye to each other.
I couldn’t tell how old he was cause it was dark outside, but I’d guess early to mid-20s (I’m 18). I could be mistaken for someone older, because that’s happened before, but I’ve also been mistaken for someone younger, so honestly my age is seemingly ambiguous (only mentioning this because I’m not sure how old he thought I was)
Is it still safe to go to the gym alone?
**IMPORTANT EDIT, PLEASE READ I want to make it clear, I have no issue with getting complimented. The only reason I thought it was a little weird was because it seemed like this man was waiting for me to come outside before talking to me, rather than just talking to me when I was in the gym around other people (we were right next to each other) I probably should’ve titled this something like “was this creepy” but I can’t change the title so whatever

Native Arabic Speaker Wants to Help
Hey guys! I hope you're doing well. My wife is interested in volunteering her skills, and I wanted to reach out on her behalf. Although she doesn't have a Reddit account, she's eager to help out in any way she can. Her native language is Arabic, and she is fluent in both written and spoken standard Arabic, as well as various dialects, including her native Syrian dialect.
She has extensive experience in translation work from her home country and holds an English degree, which has further honed her linguistic abilities. Currently, she’s not looking for any compensation or payment; she just wants to stay engaged and contribute to meaningful projects. Whether it’s translation, voice work, or any other tasks that require her language skills, she’s open to a wide range of opportunities.
If anyone knows of any projects or organizations in need of Arabic language support, please let us know. My wife is excited about the possibility of working on interesting and fun projects while we are waiting for new job opportunities or visa approvals. Thank you all for your help and suggestions!
Sorry for the chatgpt, needed to hit the word limit, not a bot and am real 🤙

Hey guys
I was informed of my schedule for next school year and it had every class I scheduled except for AP micro. Turns out I am not free during any of the periods the class is offered. I can drop band, and that would free up space, but that's the only class I'm willing to drop. Would it be more beneficial to take AP micro to boost my GPA and class rank or take band if I may enjoy it more? I plan to major in Computer Science, my schedule is as follows on an 8 period day

1. AP CSA
   
2. STEAM 1+2
   
3. Precalc (non AP)
   
4. Lunch
   
5. AP English Language
   
6. Government (non AP)
   
7. AP Physics 1
   
8. Band (or micro)
   

It can be any genres but i prefer thrillers or horrors (English movies only).Personally,im tired of seeing man being the villain or the bad guy and female being the victim/protagonist.I want to see the reverse of it to keep things fresh.If it's with female villain vs female protagonist is fine too.

So first I have to say I like both versions, but I find that the English soundtrack fits better overall. Also this movie is the reason the lopmon line is my favorite. But that is not why I'm posting this, I have a question. What would have happened if terriormon had been corrupted instead of lopmon? This is a thought I've had for years, but haven't really seen posted about. What do you guys think?

When my identical twin sister and I were younger, back in freshman year, we switched places for our classes. She went to my third period while I went to hers and I sat down in her chair for attendance. I thought I could make it through the whole period without the teacher suspecting anything, but as she called my sister's name and I confidentally said "here", she stopped and looked up at me (my sister usually never says a damn word apparently as she is quieter than me) and she spotted me out immediately.
My English teacher was actually the assistant teacher in the room as the time too and in on the joke, so of course he had a good long laugh about that one when the teacher found out.
Did you guys ever do any pranks or jokes like this too?

For those of you who have followed my story, I hate to say you were all right..but you were all right, for the most part. Divorce was filed at the end of January..found out that her family had sat her up with a guy BEFORE divorced was even filed. A month before, actually. So she had been dating this guy long before she filed..I am hurt. I am heartbroken. I am lost, I am confused. I don’t know how to move on without her. 6 years of life and it’s just gone..how was I so replaceable?..as crazy as this sounds (because I know she ultimately made the decision to cheat) I feel her family was 85% behind this. They pushed her to leave me, they pushed a new guy on her..my theory as to why: her mom had grown so pissed at the fact I never paid her back for something we never agreed upon in the first place. After my ex told her mom she wasn’t going to come after me financially, her lost lost her shit..I whole-heartedly believe her family forced her into this divorce so they could come after me financially. Her mom’s thought process being, “well, if you won’t pay me back, I’ll make sure I ruin this marriage and see to it you have nothing to do with my daughter ever again!” I know that may be far fetched for some, but I genuinely feel this has her mom written all over it…regardless, I don’t see how I can move on 💔 life is no longer the same..it’s dark, it’s lonely..I have no purpose in this world..I often find myself asking why I’m still even here..I have begged for her to stay..I’ve tried everything..she’s gone..i have nobody to talk to, nobody to turn to. I’m all alone..it just makes my thoughts much more worse..feeling how alone I am..why bother staying here anymore?…

So my parents finally had a divorce in 2020. I say "finally" because I saw it coming and honestly wanted them to. They have been fighting for years and other problems made me just want them to get a divorce because the tension was horrible.
They got a divorce because my dad fucked up, but my mom was the one to move out. For years now my mom has told me that if they ever got a divorce she would take me and my brother and we would live happily alone. But because she already found a new partner while the divorce was still in motion, me and my brother did not want to go live with her because she promised it would only be the three of us. It's childish, I know, but me and my brother have been through a lot.
So me and my brother live with my dad now and it's fucking awful. Even though my dad messed everything up he pretends to be the victim. He acts like we have to pity him. He has always had an alcohol problem but ever since the divorce it got worse. He would always say "your mother did this to me". My dad stopped receiving a bonus at work because he's been slacking off and we spiraled down a financial disaster. He actually quit his job a month ago, making me even more worried about our financial situation.
My mom has always done the cooking and cleaning around the house so when she left I had to take over. I taught myself how to do the laundry and I had experience doing the dishes but never liked doing it because it's gross. My cooking was sometimes good but ive never made something disgusting. I always made sure my brother had clean clothes to wear to school and I would even spend the little money I had to buy something if we really needed it. Where I always spent my money for pleasure I now have to use it like an adult.
So, about my dad... Yeah he's acting like the victim but he also acts in charge, and I mean he felt like he was the boss of EVERYTHING. We had to ask permission for things that didn't need permission. We weren't allowed to do the dishes. He would tell us to leave the dishes because he said he would do it. And because we were scared of him, we listened. The dishes would just pile up for days and when I decide I'd had enough I would do the dishes, only to get yelled at afterwards. Other chores and activities would have the same outcome.
We weren't allowed to be sad. If we had a bad day at school and just wanted to stay in our room and be upset, he would for some reason always accuse my mom for being the reason for all sadness. If we had a disagreement about something he would always say "Why don't you go live with your mother!" "Why am I the bad guy?" It's exhausting.
My dad obviously has a smoking and drinking problem. My mom was strict about the smell of smoke in the house but after she left, my dad didn't care and would smoke indoors and his room was full of askes. A teacher even asked me one day if I was smoking because I came to school smelling like smoke. My dad could easily drink 1.5 litres of alcohol everyday. He would start drinking early in the morning untill he went to sleep so he's never sober. It made me and my brother not want to hang out with him, which made my dad mad.
My dad was emotionally abusive. He never physically hurt us, but his words has a huge impact on us. My dad is the cause of our trust issues, our paranoia, and our insecurities.
We are not allowed to make jokes. We are not allowed to have friends over. We are not allowed to go out with friends. We are not allowed to take part in school activities. We are not allowed to be children. We are not allowed to talk seriously with him. We are not allowed to have problems.
I hate my dad, and I'm sure he hates us as well.
I just finished highschool, so you might think I can finally start my own life, but no, I'm not allowed to leave. I'm not allowed to go to uni. I'm not allowed to get a driver's license.
I'm stuck here

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Expensive_Pangolin60
WIBTA for calling off a wedding because my fiancé is extremely frugal?
Originally posted to AITAH abusiverelationships and OOP's own page
BoRU 1 Posted by u/ParadoxicalState
BoRU 2 Posted by u/Stephenallen1977
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse, trauma, financial struggles, neglect, psychological manipulation
MOOD SPOILERS: sad - but generally positive overall
Original Post June 06, 2023
I 31F struggle with my fiancé’s 32M frugalness and not sure if I want to marry him anymore after 3 year relationship.
Throwaway as my Fiancé follows my regular account.
I met my Fiancé 3 years ago. He came out of an abusive marriage just 2 years before we met. One of her absolute abuses was financial. She bled him dry. Made him buy expensive jewelry only to give it away or break it after an argument. Designer shoes, clothes, big house cars… Caribbean trips. you name it she made him pay for it. She also took him to the cleaners in the divorce.
However. My Fiancé is very well off. He makes far over 6 figures almost 7. On top of that he inherited a few millions from his grandfather and his parents gifted him and his siblings also a few cool millions.
So yes the financial abuse was bad but he does not suffer financially. He has more money than he will ever need.
So last year I moved into his house. I do not pay rent but I split the bills and buy food. I pay for my own clothes and jewelry. I have a good job and I can take care of myself. However things have been taking a turn for the worse and I feel miserable.
His house was empty when I moved in. He had hand me down furniture. Maybe 3 forks and 2 knives. He wouldn’t put on the heating so the house felt cold and moldy. He has no curtains, no decorations. His ex took everything not bolted down and he was too cheap to replace it. Just imagine a million dollar house like that!
I am grateful that I can live in his house. It is something I could never afford myself. But I didn’t want to live in squalor! So I bought some kitchen supplies, some furniture… but at some point I realized I was dipping in my savings all the time and he did nothing. I looked into curtains but those things are expensive. His house has so many windows it is crazy. I didn’t want to pay for this anymore.
I told him I needed a fund to furnish his house. He blew up at me that I was just with him for his money. I pointed out all the money I spend on his house. The gifts and the trips because he pays for nothing ever. Because he wants to be sure I am not here for the money. The fact is, if we break up I have nothing… the house is not mine. If I spend all my savings on his house I will be left with absolutely nothing! He wants a prenup and I am fine with that but I can’t help but feel used.
Next to that I am jealous of his ex wife. I feel like she got treated and I am neglected. He proposed to his ex on a cruise with a 10.000 dollar white gold diamond ring. I got the rhodium plated Swarovski stuff that might cost like 100 bucks. The proposal was at a picnic in the park I organized, payed groceries for and slaved in the kitchen for. I almost said no out of pure disappointment . However I am afraid to bring it up and to be called a golddigger. I don’t want to be funding a millionaire’s lifestyle. He loves everything as long as I pay for it. As soon as he has to pay it is frivolous, unnecessary….
I can live like a poor person by myself. At least the fact there are literal millions lying around doesn’t hang over me to bum me out.and I would just be paying for my own lifestyle.
WIBTA for calling of a wedding purely for financial reasons. Because I love this man, but I imagine our cheap wedding in contrast to his ex her extravaganza, will our future kids be able to have some luxuries? Or only if I pay for it? What if I ever become a stay at home mom? Will I have to beg to put the heating on?
Edited to answer questions I see a lot: I know the abuse is not made up. His family and friends told me seperate stories of the abuse they witnessed. Not only did it confirm it, it showed me she was way more terrible than I thought. Like stealing heirloom jewelry of his grandma with alzheimer right after she was widowed. Pretending she was gifted these things even though every one knew grandma hated her guts.
I did not realize or see he is doing the same to me as she was to him and he is (subconsciously) punishing me for what was done to him.
I am not trying to force a lifestyle in him where he was previously happy in. He told me prior to moving in that he left his house like this because he was depressed after his wife took everything ( even the curtains) that it makes him sad and he wants a cozy home. He just didn’t know where to start.
His house is paid off, thanks to grand dad. He isn’t actually spending much on utilities either, house is very well isolated and has solar panels. It is weird to see how cheap being rich really is.
I am not asking for designer furniture. Ikea all the way and I have refurbished second hand furniture myself. I am actually pretty thrifty .
I see where my jealousy over the ex her lifestyle might have triggered some people. Let me explain. A 10.000 dollar ring is insane and stupid to me. I do not want that because I would fear for losing it every day. I don’t need an over the top wedding … however, it almost feels like for her he did effort. Wanted to give her what made her happy. Put effort and thought in it. With me it almost feels like he wants to prove how little he can give me.
He talked about how he would see the wedding and it is cheaper than my actually financially struggling cousin her wedding. I can’t help but feel he wants to demonstrate how cheap he can treat me! And I already feel embarrassed about the family that would have been to both and I will feel like the discount wife. I don’t like to say it but it feels like he gets of on it to some extend. We are almost talking washing paper plates at this moment.
Yes I did discuss selling the mansion I really don’t need and move to a more modest house. Especially knowing this is the house his ex picked. He doesn’t want to do that. He loves this house… but I feel really intimidated living in a house I could never afford anyway. And so many large windows… tjeesh
I havn’t talked to him yet but pauze on the marriage and counseling is a must . I already am looking for IC because I realized I might indeed be too much of a people pleaser allowing him to control me with the ghost of his ex. I also am going to seperate for a while. I am looking to rent something for a few months so I can get some space.
Thank you all for your insights !
RELEVANT COMMENTS
SeniorDay

NTA. - “I understand you’ve had some trauma in your past and I’m sorry you went through that. But I can’t allow you to mistreat me because of it. It burns me up inside that you gave her everything, but I have to beg for the bare minimum. I deserve to feel cherished by my partner, as I have cherished you.”*

OOP

Oomph that hit me right in the feels.

~
moth_girl_7

“I am not with you because of the money you have, and if you can’t trust that then that’s something you need to work on. I cannot live without heat, furniture, curtains, and basic decency just to prove to you that I am not a financial abuser like your ex. It feels as if you are projecting that image onto me and that is unfair.” His way of coping is extremely unhealthy. What he should be doing is talking to a therapist about how he can communicate his needs to you, not shutting you out and behaving the complete opposite of how he did with this ex. He should set some healthy boundaries on how he spends his money, sure, but he also needs to acknowledge that you asking for some financial contribution to the house you live in isn’t the same as his ex demanding he take her on a cruise. He needs to find some ways he can feel appreciated when he does spend money on things you benefit from, and he needs to trust that he is in full control of his money, you have no desire to take that from him.*

Update 1 June 10, 2023 (4 days later)
Originally posted to AITAH, but was removed by the mods. Preserved on user's account.
Okay I hope this update makes sense because I am very confused and not really doing that well at the moment.
Well Reddit you changed my life. thank you so much for all your ideas and insights. Honestly I don’t think I would have had the courage to do what I did without you guys. I went to therapy Took the day off just to get my racing mind to calm down.
Therapy has confirmed things you guys suspected. I am a people pleaser, I wanted to “save” him and I have internalized the idea that any effort and every penny I want him to spend on me makes me a gold digger. I will have weekly sessions to work on me. I realized I would have never taken this treatment from any of my exes. Even though I made more then them. The idea I had to proof myself “ worthy “ to be with a millionaire and not be in there for the money got in to my head pretty early.
I called one of his siblings I am pretty close with and just told her everything. She was not surprised but just sad about how unhappy he was making me. She told me that from the day we started he had this idea that “ I was out of his league”. He struggled to understand why I wanted to be with him and he probably just thought : it must be my money. She told me she already talked to him in the past to treat me better. She was furious about the proposal.
This information confused me a little. I was a little hurt she never discussed any of this before but she thought it was none of her business. She also explained how she and her husband organized their finances. He also doesn’t have as much as her.
I took the opportunity to pack a bag. I haven’t n’t found a place yet but I am going to stay with my parents. I made up my mind that I will at least want 6 months apart to get myself in order. I made sure my stuff was in the car because honestly I had no idea how the conversation would go.
so into the most difficult part. The talk. I waited for him to come home. He was pretty late but I didn’t want to sleep another night on this. Pretending I was fine while I was contemplating all this just ate me up.
I had written down what I wanted to say. I have never been so scared before. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t know how he would react. I took some advice from here. I opened that I was moving out and that I wanted to pauze our engagement. He was very quiet and just sat down. I told him he really hurt me by calling me a golddigger and that I am done walking on eggshells and feeling guilty for just wanting basic things. I told him I was unhappy and felt neglected. I also told him that after 3 years of me showing up for him he still doesn’t think I am here for him, it is not going to happen.
He was just quiet. He didn’t say anything. I told him that the constant comparing to his ex was unhealthy and unfair.Punishing me for her sins was abusive. I told him comparing her to me all the time has triggered me comparing myself to her and starting to feel like she was worth more than me. One of the things about her was mostly ungratefulness. He would do nice things for her but it was never enough. The thing is, he doesn’t do nice things for me and I have to be grateful for the pleasure of picking up the bill.
I told him he was not ready for marriage. That I dreaded having kids with him and live like this. That is didn’t trust he would take care of me if I would become a SAHM. And at that point I just called him abusive and a user. I was getting pretty angry saying all this out loud. Losing my composer and script a little bit.
He remained quiet with almost no emotion on his face. I stayed quiet but nothing came out so I decided that I would just leave. Only when I got up to go he said please don’t go. He asked me if I was pausing the wedding or calling it of. He wanted to know if it was over or if he still had a shot.
I told him I wanted out of this house. I honestly don’t want to live in his ex her palace of sadness anymore. I needed him to go to therapy and especially financial therapy. I needed a separation. I told him I was open to couples counseling if he went into IC.
He begged me not to do the separation but honestly I really really wanted it. I just told him to think about it and I left him. He was finally showing some emotions. He was crying at this point.
He sent me a very long text somewhere in the AM. Told me he was a wreck and couldn’t sleep. He made all kinds of promises. He would go into therapy, sell his house, buy a smaller one and make sure I am taken care of whatever happens. He said he would help me decorate and we will make a home. He again asked me to please come “home”. But to me it doesn’t feel like home there anyway.
I feel very empty and tired. I have been sleeping most of the day. I feel guilty but also a little bit relieved if that makes sense.I don’t know if I actually want back if he does all that. Idk I am a little unsteady right now. I need some time to proces.
I will go back for the kitchen supplies and my tv. I won’t take anything else of the furniture. This for the exact same reason I was unwilling to buy everything: his house is huge so the couch is huge … I can’t take it.
Update2 Jul 04 2023 (1 month later)
Hi everybody. Let me just say I am overwhelmed by the number of people really caring about me and asking for updates. Strangers who care about you is a feeling like no other thank you!
So as I said I left. I am looking for an apartment I can afford. My parents are helping out. I am living with them and saving up.
I am not closing all doors but as for now we are broken up. I have no contact. The first week he transferred a large amount to my account. It really rubbed me the wrong way. It just showed me that he still thought that money was what kept me here. I deducted the couch I left and transferred everything else back I asked for no contact after this.
He has been respectful of it and I feel free at the moment. I felt guilty for my needs. For wanting to be taken out every once and a while. The longer I am out the harder I realize it was abuse. I have an autoimmunity problem and the cold house caused it to flare up. Even after that he kept turning the heat down. He rather have me miserable than pay what? 100 dollars extra in the end of the year?
The last thing I heard is that he put the palace of sadness on the market. I have seen the adds so happy he is going through with that. I heard of his sister that he is in therapy. I am happy for that and I hope he keeps that up! He is keeping his promises so far but I need to see real change and even then I really don’t know.
I am building my own life by myself. Thinking about getting a puppy. If I give him another shot. It has to start all from scratch. I want to start dating again and take it slow.
Therapy is really a good idea. I now know I was just bringing this on myself as a people pleaser. Savior… wanting this man to be happy so bad I forgot about myself. Never again.
So that is all there is to say really
RELEVANT COMMENTS
gurlwithdragontat2

Best of luck! Please never forget your worth again, because others will shortchange you if so.*

OOP

True! I allowed this from day one and let him play his fantasy revenge on me. The red flags were there so early. Loving ourselves is the key to a happy life

~
​ SummerFlip

My question is, did you previously communicate your feelings before just ending it? Did you wait until you stopped loving him?*

OOP

I did. Multiple times. I had a few break downs where I told him I was unhappy especially when my autoimmunity disease just kicked into high gear I told him I was done being cold. Then the discussions started about what is cold and I had to negotiate a temperature setting he was okay with , he would still turn it down behind my back. The curtains were just the last straw for me. He was giddy and happy about all other changes I made to his home with my money I thought it would not be so weird to ask him to pitch in right? I had done so much, sacrificed so much and he still blew up at me? What kind of golddigger pays for everything for 3 years? If I was one I was really bad at it So yes I communicated, over and over and nothing changed. I am pretty shocked he is actually doing something right now but honestly I think it is a little too late. I don’t want to shut the door completely but I will never ever be cold in my life ever again

Financially abusive fiancé : It’s over for good, my final update Sep 21 2023 (3 months after OG post)
Thank you for everyone reaching out to me. I have closed in on a little apartment for myself. I got a puppy.
After being in a home where I was truly loved: my parents I realized how sad, cold and alone I had been. Over time I went blind for a lot of things.
Blind to a comfortable home temperature. Comfortable with thinking about every penny spend. Feeling guilty for buying that dress I wanted for so long that was finally on sale. Feeling entitled for wanting date nights… being treated sometimes.
I started to think about what makes me happy. I love to travel, dress up to go to a nice restaurant. Throw dinner parties, entertain people, think about Christmas gifts 6 months in advance. Have a cosy house…. And I realized just how much he had taken from me with that one little sentence: is that really necessary…
Is anything ever? If you have a roof, food, bed and a TV you are there right? Is travel necessary? Is having nice clothes necessary? Is a shower necessary? A haircut? A party? A hobby? A wedding? No!
I know now that abusers are not per definition bad people. He is broken and he has trauma I have no time or energy for. He got free from abuse and decided to become the abuser. I know he is in therapy and we initially agreed on 6 months no to low contact. But I felt I was certain it was not for me anymore and I didn’t want to keep him dangling.
Breaking up with him was very hard. It made me very sad. I never wanted to hurt him and I loved this man very deeply. I wanted us to be each others happy ever after. We both came from dark places and I wanted us to thrive together. His family told me I was the one, I was everything he was looking for and I felt so lucky.
But we only have 1 life and he has so much work to do before he even becomes the bear minimum of what I needed.
I feel failed. Like my story has a bad ending. I feel very broken and sad. I will take my time to just be me. I hope he does the same. I truly hope he finds the one and becomes happy. Mostly I hope that for myself but for now I am enough by my self with the pupper!
Thank you all for your time and support. I am going to have a little cry in some furbaby’s fluffy fur
RELEVANT COMMENTS
NolaCat94

This is so far from a bad ending. A bad ending would've been staying until nothing was left of you. A bad ending would've been him bleeding you dry and you being stuck. You put yourself first and that will always be good. And to add to the positivity, this is probably the kick he needed to get past his trauma.*

OOP

I think you are spot on. He has said these things himself. He didn’t know how bad he was until he came home to me leaving. He has told me he hates himself for letting me walk and letting me be this miserable. He is in therapy ( as far as I know because I am No contact ) and I hope he does well. I really felt once I was out how much of myself was lost. I went through quite a dark time realizing how far I went for this man. But I am getting better.

~
ZestyLemonAsparagus

It does feel like a sad ending, I get the sadness of knowing the magical ending wasn’t going to happen, of the hope that he would see the light and make the changes he needed to in order to make you feel valued. But at the end of the day it’s a happy ending as well, you have a puppy who loves you and he demonstrated through his anger that he still holds his values of stinginess higher than he holds you, so you don’t have to wonder. This really, really feels like the ending of Inside Out, where a core memory comes in and it is a mix of Joy and Sadness. And sadness isn’t bad, sadness helps us remember what is important. You are important. I’m happy for you that you have been able to connect with the things that bring you joy, and surrounded yourself with them.*
But… please stay open. I know you have joked that you are fine being single forever, and if that is the course of your life, then that’s all well and good. Being single doesn’t mean lonely as you truly know while you entertain in your apartment. Guard yourself against become a version of your ex in the same way he became a version of his ex, not that you would abuse others but that you would abuse yourself by closing yourself off from people to keep yourself safe. You deserve that joy, and all the happiness in the world.*

OOP

Thank you. I will be open to someone again but only when it comes out of a place of “ wow this person is something else” not interested in anything else. I know now I ran past several red flags just because this man could give me the life I dreamed of. Married, nice house, some kids. A life with no worries … but he was not that man.
He has send me letters upon letters how sorry he is, taking accountability. But I can’t anymore. I just don’t want to try again. I hope he does well for himself. He is in therapy and doing his best. I hope he is happy one day. I just don’t want to be part of it anymore. So yes it is no Disney ending. But it is also not my ending. It is a real beginning

~
Ok-Act-8736

He’s now taking accountability? Last time he was angry at you for not respecting what je can do with his money*

OOP

Yep he is very sorry about that. He doesn’t know why reacted like that. He is ashamed about it. Money suddenly doesn’t matter to him anymore. These are all things in his texts letters and phone calls.
But it has been a while since I have had contact with him. Even if he changes a lot now… my question is : why couldn’t he do that then. I got sick, when I got sad and told him I was unhappy… why can he only change when he is in pain because I left? That says it all.
I really hope he finds himself and that he will be happy in the future but I don’t want to be part of it anymore

NEW UPDATE

Some things that kept me on my path during leaving my abusive relationship Dec 26, 2023 (4 months since last update)
I was in a financially abusive relationship. With enough time passing now I am more comfortable with the word abuse. I fought it for a long time because he did not scream at me, hit me or called me names.
He just used triangulation and the image of his abusive ex to use my own kindness against myself and to get me to fall in line. Spend my limited savings into furniture, luxuries and nights out for a goddamn multi millionaire just to have some comfort in life. Constantly trying to prove I was no gold digger by having 0 needs, living in a cold house and buy him everything he could ever want. I never lived a impoverished existence then when I was with a person who actually had loads of money. More than I could possibly comprehend.
When I left I really struggled to keep at it. I was so scared to go at life by myself. To actually have to pinch Pennie’s. He kept telling me what I wanted to hear for so long. Went into therapy, begged me to come back. It digged into my resolve. Made me doubt if I was making a mistake.
A few things made me go on:

1. My colleagues who are more friends than coworkers who knew all my stories into details hugged me and told me they were so proud of me for leaving. Their feeling was so authentic it rubbed off on me. I was also proud I left and I couldn’t let them and me down by going back
   
2. My boss once passed my office when I was working late and he said:” Never give men second chances! They never change. You deserve someone who gets it right from the start.” I don’t know what prompted him to say this to me but it stuck with me.
   
3. My trainer who knows some stories said to me: you gave everything to get less then nothing back ! It is like me getting a 100 bucks from you and to repay you I’ll take another 100 bucks from your wallet! why would you want to take that deal again? He has a debt with you he can’t repay and I don’t mean cash. I mean emotional energy, love and kindness.
   
4. I read somewhere: don’t wake up in the same miserable place 10 years from now because you feared the change you have to make today. That hit me very hard.
   

I have bought my own apartment. I felt like a poor little mouse being surrounded by people who make my monthly wage in a few days! But the fact is I have a very good job. I earn far above average. I am able to have a nice place, nicely furnished. And I can even support a puppy.
I live by myself but feel endlessly more warmth then in a relationship. I love myself way more. I am not riddled with guilt over wanting to have a cozy house. Go out for dinner sometimes. I am so happy I dragged myself out of this relationship. I kept at it and moved on.
Keep going. One foot in front of the other. It is hard but you can do this! I am proud of you!
OOP Updared in the comments Apr 9, 2024 (4 since last update)
The money is gone. I am not going to get that back or fight for it. I even had to block him because at some point he got petty and wanted me to pay rent for the time I lived with him so no way I was opening that discussion. Whatever… lesson learned . I may look poor compared to millionaires but I am doing fine.
The sister and I did get along for a while. We share a hobby and talked about that. But recently I have been official and out in the open with my new boyfriend and she struggles with this. Maybe she was hoping it would still work out or something I don’t know. But she has been one a lot colder.
This man… wow! People say never settle because there is better out there for you… I never believed it. Honestly I was ready to be a crazy dog lady for the rest of my life. I was enjoying being single. My friends urged me to start dating just to get the hang of it… he was my 3rd date. I went against my will and was 100% not into it but when I saw him in real life…omg sparks flew like never before ! I am in my thirties so you would have thought experienced it all… but this??? Wow
He is everything my ex was not. He is kind and caring. Cooks me dinner. Gets flustered but is grateful for gifts he gets. He treats me to dinners. Will not even allow me to go Dutch on it. He has planned and booked dates and trips months in advance even before we were well and good official. Buys me gifts! He is not as wealthy as my ex. But he makes a good living. His income is comparable to mine but he treats me like a queen. And between me and you ( and all redditors that dig this deep in the comments) the love making is INSANE ! I guess giving people give everywhere freely.
So please take away to never settle! Ever ! Trust the process babe!
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ConditionBig6373

I hope you told him off! After the abuse you suffered he should shit his mouth and be grateful you didn't sue him for emotional distress!

OOP

Too much energy to waste on a man who wasted so much already. I just never want to see him again. I hope he finds the help he needs and I hope he becomes a happy person but I do not want to be anywhere near him.
I am so happy with my current boyfriend. I don’t understand how I fought for so long to keep this man.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

im 29 so this is not my first break up but in a lot of ways its a first for me. its been 10 months now, the emotional attachment is gone and i do not miss her if anything im angry at myself for ever being with her and regret the relationship ever happened. but when we dated and moved into an apartment it was the first time i lived without my parents, i moved back in with my parents and she stayed in the apartment, my parents want me to stay for a while so im still here. when we were dating i changed jobs because i wanted to try to make more money and make a good career choice, mostly cause i wanted her to be happy because she wanted me to advance my career as a tattoo artist and work at a better shop my old job was upset i was leaving so i ended on bad terms with them even tho i didnt want to. ive had very few friends that werent her friends first because a lot of my old friends either moved out of state or were bad/addict folks i had to stop hanging with.. i was on track doing so well even with healtha and fitness now everything has been derailed.. all in all i do not miss her but my life is so different and i miss my old apartment and my old job and things feel so strange now... i was tattooing a guy who was telling me he is going through a divorce and i felt so sad for him i realized break ups are not the same as when we were younger its not just the love and companionship that gone its your entire life your routine is uprooted and it leaves you feeling so strange and out of place. i have no energy to meet new people my new job is kind of boring and my coworkers dont seem like they even want to be there so im left feeling very alone most of the time i have some of my own friends but theyre either busy with work or family and i dont want to keep talking to them about my problems i would much rather have new things to do but making changes is so hard and i dont know how to get back out there. i feel like she didnt just break up with me she sabotaged my whole life
anyone here have advice for basically starting over? things i can do to meet people ? im not ready for dating but i dont even have a social life anymore

I finally gave myself permission to separate myself from my husband. This has been hell. I have no other choice but to cohabitate due to the insane cost of living. I don’t need to be given permission to leave my house to do anything other than go grocery shopping. I have lost pretty much all of my friends because I haven’t been able to have relationships, and completely lost all sense of self. The straw that broke the camels back was me wanting to go to a show (a deathcore show of all places, puhleeeease) but being told no because “all the guys there are just going to want to fuck you.” While I am flattered that my husband thinks I must be the hottest piece of ass, this is completely delusional thinking. I decided to separate because I finally had it with the lack of freedom, and in separating I thought I’d start to be able to get my own life back. What a joke.
It’s been a month and a half since I basically told him “you can’t tell me what to do and I don’t owe you an explanation for anything anymore.” This has not gone over well. He sees his power slipping through his fingers and he’s panicking.
I get verbally assaulted and threatened upon leaving the house and/or returning. I learned the very, very hard way to not name drop anyone. The little bit that I have been going out, he’s been adamant about wanting to know my whereabouts and with who I’m with. I am refusing to give up any information as a means of self preservation. He believes he is entitled to everything about me. He is threatening to turn off my phone, and using my car that he knows I love so much, as a weapon against me. In typical narcissistic fashion, it was agreed upon that I will be a SAHM until our daughter is in kindergarten, which she will be starting this year. So because of that, he is the sole breadwinner, and is holding that over my head. Every time I’m on my way home I am scared of being verbally assaulted and I even end up gaslighting myself into thinking that maybe he has a point about this. I am actually afraid of my husband because of his words.
A month and a half ago I finally told him I’m done, had an overwhelming sense of relief and weight lifted. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. Even when we do get divorced, we’re still going to have to live together indefinitely. I am constantly setting boundaries of “if you talk to me like xyz I’m not responding”, and he just keeps overstepping these boundaries. I am realizing now that I have only traded in one ball and chain for a different one.

I’m a woman and these groups have truly gone too far. Paola, do you realize how ridiculous it is that I have to come to this Reddit to post this instead of being able to post this in your own group because I’m too AFRAID of the backlash I will get? THAT Paola alone should be enough for you to read this and think about closing the groups down.
I’ve been in my local one since the beginning (a year+ ago, edit it’s actually been more like 2+ years) and at the start it was 100% helpful and informative. It was NEVER post this guy and gossip/shit talk him for something dumb. When it started out it really was protecting females from dudes who were creeps. In fact, in my own group, I watched woman come together over a local tattooer who was roofing woman on dates and brought legal charges. No one, including men, should be mad a group like that exists.
HOWEVER some time in the last 9ish months you have all let your group go to your head. it went from being informative PROTECTING woman to a burn book style gossip group.
I watched my own brother (who tbh I didn’t even really like at the time) be torn apart in the comments because he started dating again before he announced his divorce (which his ex wife asked for) on social media. One woman commented that he was still married and dozens and dozens of woman tore him apart in the comments by one misrepresentation that was NOT even true. When I commented that it wasn’t true, I was then attacked by the woman saying I couldn’t tell my brother. When I reached out to the admin to have the post removed, you all said pretty much “too bad”.
I have watched you all approve posts about how disgusting it is men created groups for us females, but yet you do NOTHING to protect the good and honest men who “piss off” the wrong female in our own group.
Paola, it is never too late to say “oh this has gone too far”, you should have done it 6 months ago but the sooner the better. I 100% believe your heart was in a good place when you started it. As a female who has been through sexual assaults, I KNOW you just wanted to save woman but it’s gone too far. Your rule is “it’s about protect woman, not judging men” but you do not even follow your own rules. If you want to make this an actual GOOD place to be, let it be an open place where anyone, regardless of their gender, can post their experience. Because I’m going to be honest, I don’t want to be friends with the women who treat men like shit and would like to know how my own friends/women in my life treat the people they’re seeing.
Paola I BEG you to sit down and actually think about this. You take random women you don’t even know and throw them into admin roles with little to no training or background checking. Your only rule is that you can’t admin in a state you live in. How do you know you don’t have the female incel versions running your group? You clearly don’t. It’s VERY obvious these groups have gotten to the point that they’re hurting more than helping and don’t WE as WOMAN understand what’s that like better than most? You have created a vicious cycle of trauma and it needs to be broken.
to the men of this group, yall I am sorry. While us females (and you men reading this 100% also deserve this as well. Women can be just as abusive) do deserve a space where we can share our experiences with men who are ACTUALLY abusive and harmful, it has become VERY obvious that we cannot even have that due to the abusive/harmful woman.

With Comun catching up on the translations, here’s some comments from the FGO writing team on various events and story chapters! This goes from Servant Summer Camp all the way up to Mystic Eye Symphony. A lot of these have some interesting comments so hopefully you guys find it compelling.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
(Shout outs to OKSG for writing some Eric dialogue, our strongest soldier)

FIrst of all,i apologize for my bad English writing skills.I am not a native English speaker.
i used to take 5 months atomoxetine(aptex from India) for ADHD, i can last almost forever without porn and 20 minutes with porn, before it, i can only last 2 minutes.
But it has too many side effects, so i stop taking it. i turn into nootropics, those work good for ADHD and depression, but i find that i can only last 1minute when i masterbate. Maybe racetams make me faster.
today i add L-theanine 150mg and alpha GPC 250mg in my stack, after 50minute i fap with HMV, and i last more than 3 minutes, it can relieve my libido too(nootrpics make me really horny), but i still have enough libido.
Now i decide to give ashwagandha a try, and tomorrow i will take 300mg L-theanine and see what happens.
This is my stack in morning today:
piracetam300mg, aniracetam300mg, a cup of coffee, 5g taurine, Seeking Health B complex with choline bitartrate 1 capsule, Biowell lutein and zeaxanthine 1 softgel, agpc and L-theanine.
Waiting for your comment, guys.

When I (21) was younger, my mom and biological dad divorced. I still visit my dad every so often, and I can tell I enjoy his company and that I am connected to him because when I leave to come home, I cry.
However, my mom is worried as I don't show much interest in my stepdad. I don't feel too connected to him. We don't talk much. To be honest, he just feels like a random guy I call my dad. He hasn't taught me much, just how to ride a bike without falling and personal/physical things about growing up. Other than that, I don't really care too much. My mom wants me and my stepdad to bond because she feels he should step up and be a father figure. He already does a great job with my little brother (13) as he goes to him often and they hang out often. I don't want the relationship between me and my stepdad to affect what he and his son/my younger brother have together. He has tried once before to bond, but it honestly didn't work out too well. He hasn't been mean to me, and there isn't any hate between us; it just doesn't feel like there's anything between us.
I don't know whether I should feel bad that I don't really care too much for him or if this is natural.

Ten years ago I (30F) was living abroad and became close friends with a man we will call Bob (31M) (we were both military). We were both in serious relationships with other people and neither one of us considered the other in a sexual or romantic way, we were simply great friends that created many precious memories together. We had the same interests, life perspective, sense of humor, political and religious opinions, and personality traits that perfectly clicked. I can’t even begin to describe the magic in those memories, but they are the best times of my life. Anyway, I came back to the states first and we kinda kept in contact for a year or so until he reached out and said he got orders to the same town as me. I asked if he needed a roommate and he immediately said yes. We lived together for 8 months, both still in relationships with the same people as a few years before. We didn’t really hang out as much this time, he was going through some depression and I was preparing for some other major life changes so we just kinda lived separate lives in the same apartment. I also ended up breaking up with my boyfriend during this time and I was all mopey and bringing guys around to fuck. Never once did me and Bob even hint at being romantically or sexually interested in each other, but later we did admit that we both were thinking about it. So anyway. 8 months of living together and I buy a house and move out (he’s planning on moving states away in a few months when he finishes his military time). The moving out was rough because we shared two dogs and had to have a conversation about who should keep them and it ended with him crying out of shame and admitting I should keep them because he wasn’t really providing for them. This made things weird and we fell out of contact again for about three years, but thought about each other constantly the entire time. One day out of the blue I reach out to him. I had gotten married and it sucked (that’s a whole nother story for another Reddit page). He is now single. So we start chatting daily, playing video games together through discord, having so much fucking fun just like when we were abroad. He becomes a huge rock for me while I go through the most insane divorce, and we fucking love each other. We always have and we always knew it, but now we realize it could go so much deeper than just a platonic love if we allow it. We become each other’s best friends again and it’s the healthiest relationship of my life. We make each other better people somehow, it’s like we bring out the most kindest, patient, loving, gentle parts of our personalities when we are together (this is still strictly through electronics, states away). We discuss how we love each other and how we make each other better people. A few conversations get sexual but that’s almost never the focus. We simply love each other’s heart and soul. But the most sensual thing anyone ever said to me was during this time and I’ll never forget it. He said “the first time I see your pusyy I want to be able to smell it.” So we never even sent each other those types of photos, and we’ve never shared more than a platonic hug. (Fucking hot, I know). Anyway, this lasts about a year and I start going out with men again, and he’s also trying to get people to go out with him but he’s struggling making friends. I want to iterate that we were both very supportive of each other’s sexual and interpersonal relationships and there was no jealousy. Regardless, the more I went out with friends/men, the less I text/call/video chat Bob. He starts to pull away once I get close to someone we will call Joe (27M). Over the course of a year, me and Bob go from talking all day, to once a day, to weekly, to pretty much never. Me and Joe get really serious and start exclusively dating. Joe is great. He is a loving, caring, affectionate man. He is also strong and tough and we trust each other completely. This is the healthiest romantic relationship I’ve ever been in. As I type right now, Me and Joe are now engaged and are set to marry in a few months. But ever since moving out of that fucking apartment I haven’t been able to get Bob out of my mind. Somehow, we are tethered. It’s like the universe is substantially more intelligent than we’ll ever understand and it decided we must be near each other to reach full potential. It’s like if we were a cheesy romance movie, the audience would be constantly disappointed that we kept going the wrong direction and the anticipation for the “happily ever after” just keeps building. I called Bob seven or eight months ago to tell him those things and he agreed. It was more just about venting to him and he listened so well and shared his feelings too…but that was pretty much it. We send each other a song here, a quick memory there but nothing really else. Well, starting a few months ago I’ve been losing feelings for Joe. He didn’t do anything, but I lost attraction on multiple levels. I am noticing so many things that just turn me off or even repulse me and it’s honestly unfair to him. I know it’s because he’s not Bob…my love for him has grown into a somehow silent yet roaring boil and I have to fight it from spilling over every moment of every day. A few days ago I got the courage to reach out to him…and I say it took courage because I feel like this one action could change everything and I’m scared about how this could effect not just myself but mostly Joe and his amazing family and everyone even semi-involved. Anyway, I texted Bob a few days ago saying “What are we doing?” A few hours later he said he was really busy but we could talk on the phone on Thursday, and so now it is Tuesday and I anxiously wait. I haven’t gone into much detail about Joe but we are a great match and love each other deeply…he does not deserve to lose the love of his life and I feel like shit for what I may end up doing to him. Who knows, maybe Bob will tell me he’s in a happy relationship and tells me it’s too late for us to discuss a future. Honestly, closing that possibility would make everything so much easier. But I have to call. I will have this conversation with Bob and then I will talk to Joe about what’s been going on with me, regardless of how thursday’s phone call goes. My soul aches for Bob, and I know his aches for me. Whether or not we will ever act on it is unknown and so so tragic.