Cool letters2520cool letter

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Expensive_Pangolin60
WIBTA for calling off a wedding because my fiancé is extremely frugal?
Originally posted to AITAH abusiverelationships and OOP's own page
BoRU 1 Posted by u/ParadoxicalState
BoRU 2 Posted by u/Stephenallen1977
TRIGGER WARNING: emotional abuse, trauma, financial struggles, neglect, psychological manipulation
MOOD SPOILERS: sad - but generally positive overall
Original Post June 06, 2023
I 31F struggle with my fiancé’s 32M frugalness and not sure if I want to marry him anymore after 3 year relationship.
Throwaway as my Fiancé follows my regular account.
I met my Fiancé 3 years ago. He came out of an abusive marriage just 2 years before we met. One of her absolute abuses was financial. She bled him dry. Made him buy expensive jewelry only to give it away or break it after an argument. Designer shoes, clothes, big house cars… Caribbean trips. you name it she made him pay for it. She also took him to the cleaners in the divorce.
However. My Fiancé is very well off. He makes far over 6 figures almost 7. On top of that he inherited a few millions from his grandfather and his parents gifted him and his siblings also a few cool millions.
So yes the financial abuse was bad but he does not suffer financially. He has more money than he will ever need.
So last year I moved into his house. I do not pay rent but I split the bills and buy food. I pay for my own clothes and jewelry. I have a good job and I can take care of myself. However things have been taking a turn for the worse and I feel miserable.
His house was empty when I moved in. He had hand me down furniture. Maybe 3 forks and 2 knives. He wouldn’t put on the heating so the house felt cold and moldy. He has no curtains, no decorations. His ex took everything not bolted down and he was too cheap to replace it. Just imagine a million dollar house like that!
I am grateful that I can live in his house. It is something I could never afford myself. But I didn’t want to live in squalor! So I bought some kitchen supplies, some furniture… but at some point I realized I was dipping in my savings all the time and he did nothing. I looked into curtains but those things are expensive. His house has so many windows it is crazy. I didn’t want to pay for this anymore.
I told him I needed a fund to furnish his house. He blew up at me that I was just with him for his money. I pointed out all the money I spend on his house. The gifts and the trips because he pays for nothing ever. Because he wants to be sure I am not here for the money. The fact is, if we break up I have nothing… the house is not mine. If I spend all my savings on his house I will be left with absolutely nothing! He wants a prenup and I am fine with that but I can’t help but feel used.
Next to that I am jealous of his ex wife. I feel like she got treated and I am neglected. He proposed to his ex on a cruise with a 10.000 dollar white gold diamond ring. I got the rhodium plated Swarovski stuff that might cost like 100 bucks. The proposal was at a picnic in the park I organized, payed groceries for and slaved in the kitchen for. I almost said no out of pure disappointment . However I am afraid to bring it up and to be called a golddigger. I don’t want to be funding a millionaire’s lifestyle. He loves everything as long as I pay for it. As soon as he has to pay it is frivolous, unnecessary….
I can live like a poor person by myself. At least the fact there are literal millions lying around doesn’t hang over me to bum me out.and I would just be paying for my own lifestyle.
WIBTA for calling of a wedding purely for financial reasons. Because I love this man, but I imagine our cheap wedding in contrast to his ex her extravaganza, will our future kids be able to have some luxuries? Or only if I pay for it? What if I ever become a stay at home mom? Will I have to beg to put the heating on?
Edited to answer questions I see a lot: I know the abuse is not made up. His family and friends told me seperate stories of the abuse they witnessed. Not only did it confirm it, it showed me she was way more terrible than I thought. Like stealing heirloom jewelry of his grandma with alzheimer right after she was widowed. Pretending she was gifted these things even though every one knew grandma hated her guts.
I did not realize or see he is doing the same to me as she was to him and he is (subconsciously) punishing me for what was done to him.
I am not trying to force a lifestyle in him where he was previously happy in. He told me prior to moving in that he left his house like this because he was depressed after his wife took everything ( even the curtains) that it makes him sad and he wants a cozy home. He just didn’t know where to start.
His house is paid off, thanks to grand dad. He isn’t actually spending much on utilities either, house is very well isolated and has solar panels. It is weird to see how cheap being rich really is.
I am not asking for designer furniture. Ikea all the way and I have refurbished second hand furniture myself. I am actually pretty thrifty .
I see where my jealousy over the ex her lifestyle might have triggered some people. Let me explain. A 10.000 dollar ring is insane and stupid to me. I do not want that because I would fear for losing it every day. I don’t need an over the top wedding … however, it almost feels like for her he did effort. Wanted to give her what made her happy. Put effort and thought in it. With me it almost feels like he wants to prove how little he can give me.
He talked about how he would see the wedding and it is cheaper than my actually financially struggling cousin her wedding. I can’t help but feel he wants to demonstrate how cheap he can treat me! And I already feel embarrassed about the family that would have been to both and I will feel like the discount wife. I don’t like to say it but it feels like he gets of on it to some extend. We are almost talking washing paper plates at this moment.
Yes I did discuss selling the mansion I really don’t need and move to a more modest house. Especially knowing this is the house his ex picked. He doesn’t want to do that. He loves this house… but I feel really intimidated living in a house I could never afford anyway. And so many large windows… tjeesh
I havn’t talked to him yet but pauze on the marriage and counseling is a must . I already am looking for IC because I realized I might indeed be too much of a people pleaser allowing him to control me with the ghost of his ex. I also am going to seperate for a while. I am looking to rent something for a few months so I can get some space.
Thank you all for your insights !
RELEVANT COMMENTS
SeniorDay

NTA. - “I understand you’ve had some trauma in your past and I’m sorry you went through that. But I can’t allow you to mistreat me because of it. It burns me up inside that you gave her everything, but I have to beg for the bare minimum. I deserve to feel cherished by my partner, as I have cherished you.”*

OOP

Oomph that hit me right in the feels.

~
moth_girl_7

“I am not with you because of the money you have, and if you can’t trust that then that’s something you need to work on. I cannot live without heat, furniture, curtains, and basic decency just to prove to you that I am not a financial abuser like your ex. It feels as if you are projecting that image onto me and that is unfair.” His way of coping is extremely unhealthy. What he should be doing is talking to a therapist about how he can communicate his needs to you, not shutting you out and behaving the complete opposite of how he did with this ex. He should set some healthy boundaries on how he spends his money, sure, but he also needs to acknowledge that you asking for some financial contribution to the house you live in isn’t the same as his ex demanding he take her on a cruise. He needs to find some ways he can feel appreciated when he does spend money on things you benefit from, and he needs to trust that he is in full control of his money, you have no desire to take that from him.*

Update 1 June 10, 2023 (4 days later)
Originally posted to AITAH, but was removed by the mods. Preserved on user's account.
Okay I hope this update makes sense because I am very confused and not really doing that well at the moment.
Well Reddit you changed my life. thank you so much for all your ideas and insights. Honestly I don’t think I would have had the courage to do what I did without you guys. I went to therapy Took the day off just to get my racing mind to calm down.
Therapy has confirmed things you guys suspected. I am a people pleaser, I wanted to “save” him and I have internalized the idea that any effort and every penny I want him to spend on me makes me a gold digger. I will have weekly sessions to work on me. I realized I would have never taken this treatment from any of my exes. Even though I made more then them. The idea I had to proof myself “ worthy “ to be with a millionaire and not be in there for the money got in to my head pretty early.
I called one of his siblings I am pretty close with and just told her everything. She was not surprised but just sad about how unhappy he was making me. She told me that from the day we started he had this idea that “ I was out of his league”. He struggled to understand why I wanted to be with him and he probably just thought : it must be my money. She told me she already talked to him in the past to treat me better. She was furious about the proposal.
This information confused me a little. I was a little hurt she never discussed any of this before but she thought it was none of her business. She also explained how she and her husband organized their finances. He also doesn’t have as much as her.
I took the opportunity to pack a bag. I haven’t n’t found a place yet but I am going to stay with my parents. I made up my mind that I will at least want 6 months apart to get myself in order. I made sure my stuff was in the car because honestly I had no idea how the conversation would go.
so into the most difficult part. The talk. I waited for him to come home. He was pretty late but I didn’t want to sleep another night on this. Pretending I was fine while I was contemplating all this just ate me up.
I had written down what I wanted to say. I have never been so scared before. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t know how he would react. I took some advice from here. I opened that I was moving out and that I wanted to pauze our engagement. He was very quiet and just sat down. I told him he really hurt me by calling me a golddigger and that I am done walking on eggshells and feeling guilty for just wanting basic things. I told him I was unhappy and felt neglected. I also told him that after 3 years of me showing up for him he still doesn’t think I am here for him, it is not going to happen.
He was just quiet. He didn’t say anything. I told him that the constant comparing to his ex was unhealthy and unfair.Punishing me for her sins was abusive. I told him comparing her to me all the time has triggered me comparing myself to her and starting to feel like she was worth more than me. One of the things about her was mostly ungratefulness. He would do nice things for her but it was never enough. The thing is, he doesn’t do nice things for me and I have to be grateful for the pleasure of picking up the bill.
I told him he was not ready for marriage. That I dreaded having kids with him and live like this. That is didn’t trust he would take care of me if I would become a SAHM. And at that point I just called him abusive and a user. I was getting pretty angry saying all this out loud. Losing my composer and script a little bit.
He remained quiet with almost no emotion on his face. I stayed quiet but nothing came out so I decided that I would just leave. Only when I got up to go he said please don’t go. He asked me if I was pausing the wedding or calling it of. He wanted to know if it was over or if he still had a shot.
I told him I wanted out of this house. I honestly don’t want to live in his ex her palace of sadness anymore. I needed him to go to therapy and especially financial therapy. I needed a separation. I told him I was open to couples counseling if he went into IC.
He begged me not to do the separation but honestly I really really wanted it. I just told him to think about it and I left him. He was finally showing some emotions. He was crying at this point.
He sent me a very long text somewhere in the AM. Told me he was a wreck and couldn’t sleep. He made all kinds of promises. He would go into therapy, sell his house, buy a smaller one and make sure I am taken care of whatever happens. He said he would help me decorate and we will make a home. He again asked me to please come “home”. But to me it doesn’t feel like home there anyway.
I feel very empty and tired. I have been sleeping most of the day. I feel guilty but also a little bit relieved if that makes sense.I don’t know if I actually want back if he does all that. Idk I am a little unsteady right now. I need some time to proces.
I will go back for the kitchen supplies and my tv. I won’t take anything else of the furniture. This for the exact same reason I was unwilling to buy everything: his house is huge so the couch is huge … I can’t take it.
Update2 Jul 04 2023 (1 month later)
Hi everybody. Let me just say I am overwhelmed by the number of people really caring about me and asking for updates. Strangers who care about you is a feeling like no other thank you!
So as I said I left. I am looking for an apartment I can afford. My parents are helping out. I am living with them and saving up.
I am not closing all doors but as for now we are broken up. I have no contact. The first week he transferred a large amount to my account. It really rubbed me the wrong way. It just showed me that he still thought that money was what kept me here. I deducted the couch I left and transferred everything else back I asked for no contact after this.
He has been respectful of it and I feel free at the moment. I felt guilty for my needs. For wanting to be taken out every once and a while. The longer I am out the harder I realize it was abuse. I have an autoimmunity problem and the cold house caused it to flare up. Even after that he kept turning the heat down. He rather have me miserable than pay what? 100 dollars extra in the end of the year?
The last thing I heard is that he put the palace of sadness on the market. I have seen the adds so happy he is going through with that. I heard of his sister that he is in therapy. I am happy for that and I hope he keeps that up! He is keeping his promises so far but I need to see real change and even then I really don’t know.
I am building my own life by myself. Thinking about getting a puppy. If I give him another shot. It has to start all from scratch. I want to start dating again and take it slow.
Therapy is really a good idea. I now know I was just bringing this on myself as a people pleaser. Savior… wanting this man to be happy so bad I forgot about myself. Never again.
So that is all there is to say really
RELEVANT COMMENTS
gurlwithdragontat2

Best of luck! Please never forget your worth again, because others will shortchange you if so.*

OOP

True! I allowed this from day one and let him play his fantasy revenge on me. The red flags were there so early. Loving ourselves is the key to a happy life

~
​ SummerFlip

My question is, did you previously communicate your feelings before just ending it? Did you wait until you stopped loving him?*

OOP

I did. Multiple times. I had a few break downs where I told him I was unhappy especially when my autoimmunity disease just kicked into high gear I told him I was done being cold. Then the discussions started about what is cold and I had to negotiate a temperature setting he was okay with , he would still turn it down behind my back. The curtains were just the last straw for me. He was giddy and happy about all other changes I made to his home with my money I thought it would not be so weird to ask him to pitch in right? I had done so much, sacrificed so much and he still blew up at me? What kind of golddigger pays for everything for 3 years? If I was one I was really bad at it So yes I communicated, over and over and nothing changed. I am pretty shocked he is actually doing something right now but honestly I think it is a little too late. I don’t want to shut the door completely but I will never ever be cold in my life ever again

Financially abusive fiancé : It’s over for good, my final update Sep 21 2023 (3 months after OG post)
Thank you for everyone reaching out to me. I have closed in on a little apartment for myself. I got a puppy.
After being in a home where I was truly loved: my parents I realized how sad, cold and alone I had been. Over time I went blind for a lot of things.
Blind to a comfortable home temperature. Comfortable with thinking about every penny spend. Feeling guilty for buying that dress I wanted for so long that was finally on sale. Feeling entitled for wanting date nights… being treated sometimes.
I started to think about what makes me happy. I love to travel, dress up to go to a nice restaurant. Throw dinner parties, entertain people, think about Christmas gifts 6 months in advance. Have a cosy house…. And I realized just how much he had taken from me with that one little sentence: is that really necessary…
Is anything ever? If you have a roof, food, bed and a TV you are there right? Is travel necessary? Is having nice clothes necessary? Is a shower necessary? A haircut? A party? A hobby? A wedding? No!
I know now that abusers are not per definition bad people. He is broken and he has trauma I have no time or energy for. He got free from abuse and decided to become the abuser. I know he is in therapy and we initially agreed on 6 months no to low contact. But I felt I was certain it was not for me anymore and I didn’t want to keep him dangling.
Breaking up with him was very hard. It made me very sad. I never wanted to hurt him and I loved this man very deeply. I wanted us to be each others happy ever after. We both came from dark places and I wanted us to thrive together. His family told me I was the one, I was everything he was looking for and I felt so lucky.
But we only have 1 life and he has so much work to do before he even becomes the bear minimum of what I needed.
I feel failed. Like my story has a bad ending. I feel very broken and sad. I will take my time to just be me. I hope he does the same. I truly hope he finds the one and becomes happy. Mostly I hope that for myself but for now I am enough by my self with the pupper!
Thank you all for your time and support. I am going to have a little cry in some furbaby’s fluffy fur
RELEVANT COMMENTS
NolaCat94

This is so far from a bad ending. A bad ending would've been staying until nothing was left of you. A bad ending would've been him bleeding you dry and you being stuck. You put yourself first and that will always be good. And to add to the positivity, this is probably the kick he needed to get past his trauma.*

OOP

I think you are spot on. He has said these things himself. He didn’t know how bad he was until he came home to me leaving. He has told me he hates himself for letting me walk and letting me be this miserable. He is in therapy ( as far as I know because I am No contact ) and I hope he does well. I really felt once I was out how much of myself was lost. I went through quite a dark time realizing how far I went for this man. But I am getting better.

~
ZestyLemonAsparagus

It does feel like a sad ending, I get the sadness of knowing the magical ending wasn’t going to happen, of the hope that he would see the light and make the changes he needed to in order to make you feel valued. But at the end of the day it’s a happy ending as well, you have a puppy who loves you and he demonstrated through his anger that he still holds his values of stinginess higher than he holds you, so you don’t have to wonder. This really, really feels like the ending of Inside Out, where a core memory comes in and it is a mix of Joy and Sadness. And sadness isn’t bad, sadness helps us remember what is important. You are important. I’m happy for you that you have been able to connect with the things that bring you joy, and surrounded yourself with them.*
But… please stay open. I know you have joked that you are fine being single forever, and if that is the course of your life, then that’s all well and good. Being single doesn’t mean lonely as you truly know while you entertain in your apartment. Guard yourself against become a version of your ex in the same way he became a version of his ex, not that you would abuse others but that you would abuse yourself by closing yourself off from people to keep yourself safe. You deserve that joy, and all the happiness in the world.*

OOP

Thank you. I will be open to someone again but only when it comes out of a place of “ wow this person is something else” not interested in anything else. I know now I ran past several red flags just because this man could give me the life I dreamed of. Married, nice house, some kids. A life with no worries … but he was not that man.
He has send me letters upon letters how sorry he is, taking accountability. But I can’t anymore. I just don’t want to try again. I hope he does well for himself. He is in therapy and doing his best. I hope he is happy one day. I just don’t want to be part of it anymore. So yes it is no Disney ending. But it is also not my ending. It is a real beginning

~
Ok-Act-8736

He’s now taking accountability? Last time he was angry at you for not respecting what je can do with his money*

OOP

Yep he is very sorry about that. He doesn’t know why reacted like that. He is ashamed about it. Money suddenly doesn’t matter to him anymore. These are all things in his texts letters and phone calls.
But it has been a while since I have had contact with him. Even if he changes a lot now… my question is : why couldn’t he do that then. I got sick, when I got sad and told him I was unhappy… why can he only change when he is in pain because I left? That says it all.
I really hope he finds himself and that he will be happy in the future but I don’t want to be part of it anymore

NEW UPDATE

Some things that kept me on my path during leaving my abusive relationship Dec 26, 2023 (4 months since last update)
I was in a financially abusive relationship. With enough time passing now I am more comfortable with the word abuse. I fought it for a long time because he did not scream at me, hit me or called me names.
He just used triangulation and the image of his abusive ex to use my own kindness against myself and to get me to fall in line. Spend my limited savings into furniture, luxuries and nights out for a goddamn multi millionaire just to have some comfort in life. Constantly trying to prove I was no gold digger by having 0 needs, living in a cold house and buy him everything he could ever want. I never lived a impoverished existence then when I was with a person who actually had loads of money. More than I could possibly comprehend.
When I left I really struggled to keep at it. I was so scared to go at life by myself. To actually have to pinch Pennie’s. He kept telling me what I wanted to hear for so long. Went into therapy, begged me to come back. It digged into my resolve. Made me doubt if I was making a mistake.
A few things made me go on:

1. My colleagues who are more friends than coworkers who knew all my stories into details hugged me and told me they were so proud of me for leaving. Their feeling was so authentic it rubbed off on me. I was also proud I left and I couldn’t let them and me down by going back
   
2. My boss once passed my office when I was working late and he said:” Never give men second chances! They never change. You deserve someone who gets it right from the start.” I don’t know what prompted him to say this to me but it stuck with me.
   
3. My trainer who knows some stories said to me: you gave everything to get less then nothing back ! It is like me getting a 100 bucks from you and to repay you I’ll take another 100 bucks from your wallet! why would you want to take that deal again? He has a debt with you he can’t repay and I don’t mean cash. I mean emotional energy, love and kindness.
   
4. I read somewhere: don’t wake up in the same miserable place 10 years from now because you feared the change you have to make today. That hit me very hard.
   

I have bought my own apartment. I felt like a poor little mouse being surrounded by people who make my monthly wage in a few days! But the fact is I have a very good job. I earn far above average. I am able to have a nice place, nicely furnished. And I can even support a puppy.
I live by myself but feel endlessly more warmth then in a relationship. I love myself way more. I am not riddled with guilt over wanting to have a cozy house. Go out for dinner sometimes. I am so happy I dragged myself out of this relationship. I kept at it and moved on.
Keep going. One foot in front of the other. It is hard but you can do this! I am proud of you!
OOP Updared in the comments Apr 9, 2024 (4 since last update)
The money is gone. I am not going to get that back or fight for it. I even had to block him because at some point he got petty and wanted me to pay rent for the time I lived with him so no way I was opening that discussion. Whatever… lesson learned . I may look poor compared to millionaires but I am doing fine.
The sister and I did get along for a while. We share a hobby and talked about that. But recently I have been official and out in the open with my new boyfriend and she struggles with this. Maybe she was hoping it would still work out or something I don’t know. But she has been one a lot colder.
This man… wow! People say never settle because there is better out there for you… I never believed it. Honestly I was ready to be a crazy dog lady for the rest of my life. I was enjoying being single. My friends urged me to start dating just to get the hang of it… he was my 3rd date. I went against my will and was 100% not into it but when I saw him in real life…omg sparks flew like never before ! I am in my thirties so you would have thought experienced it all… but this??? Wow
He is everything my ex was not. He is kind and caring. Cooks me dinner. Gets flustered but is grateful for gifts he gets. He treats me to dinners. Will not even allow me to go Dutch on it. He has planned and booked dates and trips months in advance even before we were well and good official. Buys me gifts! He is not as wealthy as my ex. But he makes a good living. His income is comparable to mine but he treats me like a queen. And between me and you ( and all redditors that dig this deep in the comments) the love making is INSANE ! I guess giving people give everywhere freely.
So please take away to never settle! Ever ! Trust the process babe!
RELEVANT COMMENTS
ConditionBig6373

I hope you told him off! After the abuse you suffered he should shit his mouth and be grateful you didn't sue him for emotional distress!

OOP

Too much energy to waste on a man who wasted so much already. I just never want to see him again. I hope he finds the help he needs and I hope he becomes a happy person but I do not want to be anywhere near him.
I am so happy with my current boyfriend. I don’t understand how I fought for so long to keep this man.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

So you're probably here because you've seen my thank you posts and you've seen me offer some cards. But what the hell do I like? Well I got your answer right here. I'm currently a 39 year old stay at home mom to a very smart and very silly 3 year old who loves numbers. I love to find things to do like writing letters to people is a wonderful hobby, I'm also on postcrossing. I have the same name on there as on here. Here are the things I love.
Hobbies Gardening: I love planting flowers, my husband plants vegetables and I love watching them produce things.
Needle felting: It's a great destresser, you make cute animals out of wool, you use a really thick needle so it's like stabbing someone you are annoyed by while also making a rabbit.
Lego building: I started this hobby when I first met my husband who had built an entire Hogwarts set out of legos, before the actual set came out. I love building the big things, the small things are fun but I finish them so quickly. My husband also does lego comics, feel free to check them out if you can. Federation Star Defense, A Star Trek comic
Harry potter comic
Dungeons and Dragons: My husband is often the dungeon master and he and his brother squabble over their own rules, so it's never a dull moment playing. I like playing archers and random creatures.
Favorite Shows
The Simpsons American Dad Bob's Burgers Family Guy Firefly The Mandalorian Bluey Futurama Animaniacs Gravity Falls Anything with the muppets Stargate Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse are awesome
Favorite Colors
Teal Dark greens Blues Purples I like any color really
Favorite Animals
cats: I especially love calicos since I did have one once dogs giraffes goats or any other farm animal for that matter marine animals Amphibians: Frogs and toads are cool insects except for wasps capybaras meerkats lizards
Favorite movies
Back to the Future Indiana jones (the first 3, the other two do not exist) Original ghostbusters Moana I like most Disney movies with a few exceptions, feel free to ask Cat's Don't Dance Rat Race Monty Python and the Holy Grail Secondhand Lions Spirited Away Prince of Egypt As Good As it Gets The Original Star Wars, though I do like the Prequels The Shawshank Redemption Jurassic Park Forest Gump Deadpool Hellboy Spiderman into the Spider verse (there is probably a pattern here you might have noticed)
Other random things
I love finding vintage cards I can talk your ear off about geography and random places in the world I love funny stuff especially bad puns I do love to go camping and hiking I volunteer with the local history center and do cemetery crawls for them. I once did the Disney College Program way back in 2005, it was fun, but I only did food and beverage so it wasn't my favorite but it was a good experience. Places I would love to visit: All of Australia, Japan, Norway, Scotland, I have been to France but I want to see it again, Barrow, Alaska, South Africa, and Namibia. I have been to all national parks in Colorado, my favorite is Mesa Verde but Sand Dunes are really fun if you go at the right time. My favorite national park though, is Zion. I would still like to visit Death Valley, Olympic, Denali, Voyageurs, Wind Cave, and Big Bend.
Thank you for your time and have a great day.

Context: I met this boy in November 2021 he was my first boyfriend. I was 26 he was 23. I'm a trans girl fully transitioned🐱. At the beginning it was like a movie . Everything I always wanted in a partner all my standards were met. I'm strict because I fear to look stupid. It make sense that after all that time without a real connection with anyone it was finally him. I could be myself, he was not a weirdo(like tons of men attracted to trans girls) his family was wealthy but he was super down to earth he was Romantic during his trips he sent me postal letters telling me about his days even if we talked online while he was away that detail will always stay with me he was accepted to study aboard in Sweden for summer 2022. I knew it was going to be over by then so in my head I wanted to have a good summer he wanted to keep the relationship long distance and I thought it was cute. But everything changed the day I met his parents for his brother birthday. I was skeptic to meet his family since I never done it before. But he convinced me that everything was going to be okay. The night went well I survived I told myself. That was until the next day that he called me crying. His mom did not accept I was trans (he knew about it but we never talked about it ) and told him the worse things about me. Like I was not human like I didn't had a mother that loved me too. After that he changed. I was not his dream girl anymore I felt I became a burden since he had to hide it every time he came to see me. I never been humiliated like that . Then a month later he broke up with me. I always been super prideful so I took the L and I told him I wasn't going to deal with bigotry obviously I was hurt but I rather die before he sees me in pain. Then the next day he came crying to me my house saying how sorry he was that being without me was more painful than listening to his parents. I took him back again he was leaving I wanted to end up in goor' terms. But those last months weren't the same. His vision of me changed. I could Feel it. And the worse part is that those months were one of the happiest of my life. I know this might sound superficial I did enjoyed getting access to his wealth (boats, cottages, expensive restaurants) but I genuinely liked him. At the end I wrote him a text message expressing how I felt about how humiliating the whole situation was and how stupid I felt for believing in him. He got upset and said hurtful things to me but saying sorry right after. I'm a regular time I would had snap back but he was leaving so again for sake of peace ( The last day before leaving overseas after tears we said goodbye. I was preparing myself for the breakup I made him unfollow me from instagram and Snapchat and told him that I was better for us not to speak (I was expecting him doing it anyways but he didn't) n that was the least time I heard from him. After I deleted all his photos, texts everything and started dating again. I met someone cool a month after that brought me the material side I like but I ghosted him after because there was not spark. It wasn't him. So I gave my self a break to heal n I haven't dated anyone since then it's being 2 years ( For the first months after he left I felt's relieved the anxiety and the tension about his family was gone but the more the time passed the more I became bitter about the whole situation. For the past year and a half he came to watch my instagram stories every month (without following me) and I post like once in a month so that gave my heart hope that everything we lived was real that I was special if he was stalking me like that even my friends once and he actually had feelings for me. Hoping he would reach out but he never did. So l blocked him thinking it would help me but it's being 6 months and I still feel the same (e And the thing is I knew he was leaving so it was going to end anyways but it didn't had to be so ... humiliating.. making feel like Im not enough being terrified of meeting someone new .. traumatized Why do I have to live traumatized and they got to live a happy life? N the worse is that I'm grateful for him he's not a bad person I know that . But I wish I car hurt them back I'm just angry I got to feel like this and he's going to live the life I always wanted. It's being 2 years and it hasn't been a day I don't think about it . I still burst in tears. I can't anymore.

Im writing this because I just want to release a little bit my pain.
Context: I met this boy in November 2021 he was my first boyfriend. I was 26 he was 23. I’m a trans girl fully transitioned 🐱 . At the beginning it was like a movie . Everything I always wanted in a partner all my standards were met . I’m strict because I fear to look stupid . It make sense that after all that time without a real connection with anyone it was finally him . I could be myself , he was not a weirdo(like tons of men attracted to trans girls ) his family was wealthy but he was super down to earth he was Romantic during his trips he sent me postal letters telling me about his days even if we talked online while he was away that detail will always stay with me .he was accepted to study aboard in Sweden for summer 2022. I knew it was going to be over by then so in my head I wanted to have a good summer he wanted to keep the relationship long distance and I thought it was cute. But everything changed the day I met his parents for his brother birthday. I was skeptic to meet his family since I never done it before. But he convinced me that everything was going to be okay. The night went well I survived I told myself . That was until the next day that he called me crying . His mom did not accept I was trans (he knew about it but we never talked about it ) and told him the worse things about me . Like I was not human like I didn’t had a mother that loved me too . After that he changed. I was not his dream girl anymore I felt I became a burden since he had to hide it every time he came to see me. I never been humiliated like that . Then a month later he broke up with me . I always been super prideful so I took the L and I told him I wasn’t going to deal with bigotry obviously I was hurt but I rather die before he sees me in pain . Then the next day he came crying to me my house saying how sorry he was that being without me was more painful than listening to his parents . I took him back again he was leaving I wanted to end up in good terms . But those last months weren’t the same . His vision of me changed . I could Feel it. And the worse part is that those months were one of the happiest of my life . Ngl this may sound superficial I did enjoyed getting access to his wealth (boats , cottages , expensive restaurants) but I genuinely liked him . At the end I wrote him a text message expressing how I felt about how humiliating the whole situation was and how stupid I felt for believing in him . He got upset and said hurtful things to me but saying sorry right after . I’m a regular time I would had snap back but he was leaving so again for sake of peace 😭The last day before leaving overseas after tears we said goodbye. I was preparing myself for the breakup I made him unfollow me from instagram and Snapchat and told him that I was better for us not to speak (I was expecting him doing it anyways but he didn't) n that was the least time I heard from him. After I deleted all his photos , texts everything and started dating again . I met someone cool a month after that brought me the material side I like but I ghosted him after because there was not spark . It wasn't him . So I gave my self a break to heal n I haven't dated anyone since then it's being 2 years 😭 For the first months after he left I felt's relieved the anxiety and the tension about his family was gone but the more the time passed the more I became bitter about the whole situation. For the past year and a half he came to watch my instagram stories every month (without following me) and I post like once in a month so that gave my heart hope that everything we lived was real that I was special if he was stalking me like that even my friends once and he actually had feelings for me . Hoping he would reach out but he never did . So I blocked him thinking it would help me but it’s being 6 months and I still feel the same😭 And the thing is I knew he was leaving so it was going to end anyways but it didn't had to be so ... humiliating.. making feel like I was not enough being terrified of meeting someone new .. traumatized Why do I have to live traumatized and they got to live a happy life ? N the worse is that I'm grateful for him he's not a bad person I know that . But I wish I can hurt them back I'm just angry I got to feel like this and he’s going to live the life I always wanted. It's being 2 years and it hasn't been a day I don't think about it . I still burst in tears . I can't anymore.

When my husband and I were dating, I thought it was so cool that we had the same initials backwards (Him: SCA, me: ACS). But I wanted to have the same last name as my kids, so I broke one of my name rules of not having the same first letter for a first and last name (now I’m ACA).
When I got pregnant with our kids, my husband was one of those “I have no names to offer but I have the right to veto any name” types. As a result, I came up with some “weird” name rules.
Our last name is 5 letters, but my husband’s name is 4 letter and my name is 3 letters. I wanted my kids to have a name no longer than 5 letters, preferably 3 or 4. I also didn’t want it to start with an A, end with the same sound as our last name (no rhyming), not be hard for a little kid to pronounce (ie Cora being Co-wa), not rhyme with anything that could give them a horrible nickname (ie Rick the dick), and not be super popular (ie Ava) but also be a well enough known name here in the US. We ended up having two girls, named Cali & Rose. Honestly, now it bothers me to be the only one with a three lettered name.
What about you guys? Any weird baby name rules when you were coming up with your kids’ names?

Dear Asexuality,
I'm writing this letter as a formal complaint against the Asexual community. As a non-ace person (as far as I'm aware), I have been engaged in online dating in recent months. I have seen a variety of people, with varying identities and on many spectrums, but people within the asexual spectrum especially have been the bane of my existence. So I would like to formally say:
Can yall be less interesting?!??
Like cmon guys, I prefer non-asexual people (no offense, just my dumbass brain being a dumbass), but damn you guys are so goddamn interesting and well-defined and nice and cool and ughghghghghggh. Like how? Is "little to no sexual attraction" that OP, I feel like I'm missing out here.
I wish for The Ace to stop overcomplicating my dating life by having such cool passions and cool personalities and great fashion sense and good respect for your boundaries and interesting stories and...
Sincerely,
Your average non-asexual gay dude
PS: This is meant as a joke, I am obviously not part of the ace community and if this post has insulted you in any way, I sincerely apologize. Wish you a great day

June has been my favorite month for awhile, since getting older & understanding what happens then.
June is PRIDE month.
In the last 20 years I've had the pleasure, and sometimes displeasure, of meeting lots of people on the internet, via my favorite PC video game, World of Warcraft. (Some of whom, I've also gotten to meet in real life!)Most of them would fall into a letter of the alphabet mafia, many of them allies, like myself...
....it's been very cool to hear everyone's stories, though, sometimes they were sad,
THEIR stories were about THEM.
And..... THEY MATTER!!
**EVERYONE MATTERS!!**
I mean, how could anyone hate something as beautiful & magical as a rainbow??

Hello everyone!
I have an experiment in mind. How about writing about a life that you're NOT living? As in you can write as anyone you want, play pretend, escape into a life you're not actually living. Feel like being a pirate? A prima ballerina? A cook from the 1800s that only cooks for their 2789 ants? Cool, hit me up and tell me about "your" life! And in return you'll hear about "my" life. Who I'm gonna be? Who knows!
If you want to stay in character for a longer period of time that's awesome, I get to know more about "you"! If you want to change characters every letter that's interesting too, let's see if your characters have something in common. If you decorate or craft your letters according to character is up to you. I'm fine with blank paper, stickers, drawings, maps,...
Some quick real life info: I'm living in Germany, so depending on where you're from letters maaaay take a while and please consider the postage prices. If you'd rather email, I'm fine with that. Just please no instant messaging or chat system. Also: please choose a reasonable and letter-fitting character. So nothing that would put someone off by being offensive. I want this to be a cool experience for everyone!

I posted this in the main CPTSD sub but I don’t expect to get much support since I’ve mentioned how whiteness affects this situation. I don’t need advice, I really only want to share how frustrating this is with people who might understand a little better.
TL;DR: This volunteer situation was supposed to help me feel like the world has some hope. Like I am not the only one that recognizes the unfairness of our systems. To feel part of a community. But it’s only bringing up fears and anxieties that I haven’t felt in years since escaping from my abusive family. It’s also bringing up the feelings I have about feeling alienated from my culture and other people like me, yet also am rejected by the white society at large. I again feel rejected and chased out of my community. And maybe I don’t have the right to feel that way because that has literally happened to G, and allegedly the others.
My city has an issue with homelessness, as does every major city in the U.S. One large population of the homeless here are migrants and refugees. I used to be homeless myself and have since gotten out of that situation, I have a lot of sympathy for people who struggle with housing. I’ve been wanting to volunteer in my community, but with having a few medical conditions including PTSD and a neurological condition, I have very little energy to volunteer after work during the week and on the weekends I really need to rest and recuperate energy for getting back to work on Monday. I know not everyone can understand how terrible fatigue is but it really does affect the quality of my life and relationships sometimes. Anyway, I’ve been feeling guilty about not contributing that much to the solutions of these social problems surrounding us, so I wanted to do something actionable. I got in touch with a local housing organization that gets migrants and refugees temporary housing in the local community while they do the paperwork of helping the migrants get on the path to citizenship and stable housing. I volunteered to take in this older man who is pretty much guaranteed to be killed if he ever returns to his home country, and he has the scars to prove it. I figured, this won’t take up much of my time, and I have so much for a single person that I can afford to share a little bit.
He moved in last Wednesday. Let’s call him G. He sleeps on an air mattress in the living room of my one bedroom apartment. He’s mostly fine, although he has complained about my Spanish not being perfect and it took everything in me to not say “Out of all the fluent Spanish speakers in this city none of them want you in their home.” I did remind him that I’m doing my best to help him and he conceded. He is an old man who doesn’t understand technology so sometimes I have to explain to him that people/technology/things aren’t consciously trying to harm him, he just is unfamiliar with our way of life here. I have a lot of sympathy for him and I get how scary it must be having traveled all this way for asylum just to maybe be sent back to certain death.
He told me about his “family.” They’re not really his family, he just traveled up here with them from his home country, although they are from another country so I’m not sure how they got to know each other. The “son” (“B”) got very mad at G one day because one of the housing organizers bought G a new SIM card which gave him a new number and as a result B’s calls and texts weren’t going through to G and B said G was trying to abandon him now that he’s gotten new housing (my apartment). The housing organizers had to mediate between the two to get B to understand G just had a new number because the old phone was locked, I’m pretty sure because B had stolen it and claimed to have bought it for G. The rest of the family members are B’s wife “J”, their 10 year old son, their toddler daughter, and a 21 year old woman “D” who they initially presented to me as their daughter when in fact she is just someone they met at a refugee camp in another state, plus her toddler daughter.
My apartment has a pool, which G was super excited about. I took him to the store and bought him a pair of $15 swim trunks, no big deal. The next day, he asks me if his family can come for dinner and the pool. I said sure, and he told me “the only thing is that J doesn’t have a swimsuit” but that the kids all did. I felt like everyone has the right to have a fun pool day and take a break from the stress of their lives, so I said no problem and told them to meet me and G at Walmart the next day.
We meet at Walmart the next day, and it turns out that none of the adults have swimsuits. I grit my teeth and say okay, you guys can shop for one too. B doesn’t find anything in his size, and begrudgingly I agree to take him to Target after Walmart. J finds a swimsuit but has a religious belief against showing her legs, so I had to buy her shorts too which I think still shows your legs but whatever. D tries on every fucking one piece they have, we spend a long time waiting for her to try them all on, and she decides that they’re all too small or too big. She kept trying sizes XS and M and I said to just try a S. But she doesn’t like any of the ones they have in her size! Oh my god!!! Then they tell me that none of them have towels, so idk what they were expecting to do after the pool??? So then I fucking buy them towels too and all together everything costs $95, and we’re not even done. D wants to go to Target with me and B. So we go to Target and they both take forever trying on clothes which I just think is a little inconsiderate when it’s not your money you’re spending. B wants to buy not just swim trunks but also a tank top and sunglasses. D tried on every single swimsuit just to get the most boring basic black one piece AND it costs $40! Then they had the nerve to imply that I wasn’t buying enough bagged salad for them to all share. We’re cooking rice, potatoes, and chicken, do we really need two bags of salad for 4 adults? When we got to the cash register I really didn’t want to pay more than $150 so when the total got up to $148 I told B that I didn’t want to buy his sunglasses and he said that it’s okay, he’ll buy them. D, I think she genuinely thinks I don’t understand a lick of Spanish because she told him “I don’t think she has the money to pay for them.” BITCH DO YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY FOR THEM? OR YOUR $40 SWIMSUIT??? I didn’t want to cause a stink at the cash register in front of this old white lady who was already judging us for speaking Spanish to one another, so I just ignored her comment and paid for everything.
We cook (by that I mean me and G, his “family” did not contribute anything) dinner and go to the pool. D complains that we didn’t cook enough rice for everyone. Which wasn’t true, everyone got just enough and was full. I told them I wasn’t going to get in the pool because I had to get ready to go to a party later that evening and I still had to shower, shave, and do my makeup. D looks down at my chipped nail polish and goes “And you have to paint your nails too.” Why does this woman who has nothing feel the need to police my womanhood????? She also made comments about how she couldn’t wear a two piece because it wasn’t godly. You’re a 21 year old single mother, I don’t think you care about what’s godly tbh!!!
Anyway, G comes home yesterday and tells me that one of the housing organizers has blocked his number and that she lied to him about his lawyer’s progress on his case for asylum. At this point I don’t trust G to be a reliable narrator so I don’t know how much of that is true, and after calling my main contact at the organization she doesn’t think that’s how things played out either, but G won’t return her calls today so we’re not sure what’s going on. He also told me that B and J got scammed out of $800. J was looking for someone to write her a letter claiming she worked for them in order to be approved for an apartment. She had asked me but I’ve heard apartments have gotten wise to this issue and so I declined because I don’t need any legal trouble myself. And honestly it sounds like she has been working harder to find someone to write this letter than she ever did to actually find work. B has a job but he’s paid under the table so his company doesn’t want to admit to employing him. Apparently they approached some lady on the street about it and she said she’d write them one for $800. They got the money somehow and paid her, only for the apartment manager to tell them the letter was fraudulent and couldn’t be accepted. Now I’m just wondering how the hell they had $800 but I paid almost $300 for their “family” to have a couple hours at the pool? I don’t even have $800! I actually have much, much less than that until I get paid on Friday.
**I KNOW this is my fault, I KNOW I should have said no and set some boundaries. ** But with hearing how abusive B was to G over the phone situation, I felt it was unsafe to deny him anything lest he get violent. I don’t truly know if he is violent. G, I never feel afraid of. But this guy B just moves and talks like one of those people who are ready to get physical over any perceived slight. I was severely physically abused for 20 years so I am very averse to anything that even suggests that might trigger someone to hit me. D has been really disrespectful and additionally has made comments about my Spanish not being the best and how “us women should act”, when again, no one else is volunteering to take her to the fucking pool let alone provide housing.
Now B and his family are going to be kicked out of their hotel this weekend because my city’s anti-homeless program is just a ploy to get democrats to vote for the incumbent mayor. They don’t actually deliver on promises of stable housing and paths to citizenship, and here I am picking up the tab. G is worried sick about them, and at first I reluctantly agreed to him that they could stay with me in my 1 bedroom apartment. But realistically idk how long it would be for them to find stable housing, if ever. And I get the feeling they’re the kind of people who are content with having just their most basic needs met and aren’t motivated to seek more for their selves, so of course they’d be fine staying with me while I buy all their food and they use my electricity.
I talked with my main contact at the housing organization and we agreed that I would tell G I can’t host his “family” today. I’m so nervous of confrontation, especially when it means I have to disappoint somebody. I can understand why they would feel scared, their only other option is to sleep on the street. I really don’t care for the adults in this situation, but I don’t believe the kids deserve to be on the street. I’m not sure what will happen with them, but I am hoping CPS would at least take care of getting the kids into foster housing.
I am so utterly disappointed with both them and myself. Them, because I have consistently found that people who have also endured a lot of trauma (homeless or not, migrant or not, whatever) are usually the first to screw me over, take advantage of my kindness, lie, cheat, and steal. Things haven’t gotten that bad with them yet but I’m mad at myself for even letting things get this far. And I’m upset with myself because I know so many people, my own family included, who would make fun of me for being kind enough to want to help others avoid sleeping rough. So many people who would just point to this story and say this is all the more reason not to help anybody, that I’m an idiot for ever thinking someone else was worthy of dignity and grace. I know they’re wrong, I still don’t feel I am wrong for wanting to host G while he seeks asylum. But god damn it I have yet again been taken advantage of by people with a sob story. Tbh I don’t even know what qualifies B and his family as refugees. I know G’s story and it’s heartbreaking, but with how shitty B is I can’t help but think he must have been involved in something fucked up and that’s why there’s a price on his head. I don’t want to blame a victim, but his attitude and ungratefulness really makes it hard to have sympathy. Apparently he has also been threatening to leave his wife and children for a woman in another state who he’s never met, so I just don’t believe he is an innocent worthy of protecting. And I feel disgusted for myself for even admitting to feeling that way.
EDIT: I had an hour long conversation with G about how they took advantage of my kindness. He was very embarrassed and apologetic. He said he recognized I was acting weird after we went shopping on Saturday but didn’t think to ask what was wrong, and I told him I needed a few days to organize my thoughts about the situation anyway so I probably would have told him I was fine that day. He insists on paying me back all the money I spent on them, and I really don’t want him to as he needs to save money to pay for his phone and groceries (I buy him food but he still prefers to do his own shopping). I also told him it wasn’t cool for him to use the food I buy him to make food for that family, especially when they seem to not be appreciative. According to the housing organization, they are supposed to get their food at the food banks like everyone else in their program. I’m just going to let him give me cash and put it aside to buy him stuff later. I need to take him to Warby Parker for a cheap eye exam next month so if he does somehow recoup all the money, I’ll just put it towards that. He’s planning on having a conversation tomorrow with B and J, and the he wants to permanently cut ties with D as her behavior has really embarrassed him and he feels she’s a threat to his housing safety. The “family” has apparently been approved for an apartment this weekend so I won’t be needing to take them in. However, and this really doesn’t concern me I just thought it’s interesting, these housing programs have policies of keeping IMMEDIATE family members together but not “found family” because it’s too common for people to manipulate others and then steal from them. So if it is found out by the apartment that D is not really their daughter, they will be evicted. I’m annoyed that I’ve gotten myself caught up in this, but at least it sounds like G won’t make D’s problems my issue any longer.

This is for a small passion project I'm doing with a friend in which we rewrite yansim! This includes the rivals and other important characters. Even some small (non-canon) characters like Ayato get a mention!
My partner in crime for this project: u/Dearuwuswhyme
Things to know: This version of yansim takes place in 2006 instead of 2026.
Ayano Aishi: Ayano has apathy rather than being inexplicably emotionless. Her feelings towards Senpai are a result of Ryoba, who's forced her obsession with love upon Ayano to the point that she thinks it's normal. She's part of the gaming club and is close friends with Kokona, Midori, Kuu, Horuda, and even Oka. She's heavily monitored by Ryoba, to the point that when Ryoba travels abroad she has multiple cameras installed inside the house— including Ayano's room. Ayano isn't permitted to have a smart phone, but she does have a flip phone which Info-Chan contacts her through. Ayano has an older brother, Ayato/??? (It's possible his name may change, because naming your kids the same thing with a letter difference is a little silly), who sends letters to Ayano through the mail. He recognized how abusive Ryoba was and moved out as soon as he graduated from Akademi, now studying abroad. Ryoba refuses to talk about Ayato and forbids Ayano from mentioning him, which is why Ayano hides the letters from her brother in her school locker. Ayano adores anime and manga, hence why she's in the gaming club. Her second choice, however, would've been the photography club. Ryoba pushes this idea of romance onto her once again through anime, constantly buying Ayano romance DVDs even though Ayano enjoys the more mature ones, like Life Note, which she has dyed the tips of her hair white to match the main character of said anime. Though when she sees Taro, her mind plays it as though it's like those cheesy romance animes. The pink filter in the original game is there in her eyes, and she sees imaginary petals falling around him.
Taro Yamada: We've probably changed him the most for obvious reasons. Instead of making him yuckydev's self insert, he's instead the star player of the Akademi soccer team! He also sometimes participates in swimming and relay. His parents push him to be incredibly sporty and "manly" due to the fact that he has two sisters who are feminine (recall in Osana's sabotage; Taro received his book from his older sister.) Now this is a VERY big change to Taro's character so please stay with us— Taro has a crush on Ayano. While he's initially attracted to her based on apperance alone, he begins to fall for her when she starts leaving little love letters on his desk. Ayano doesn't see this however and continues on thinking that she must eliminate her rivals, although they weren't really rivals to begin with. Although he's an amazing sports player and could likely receive a scholarship because of it, his passion lies with literature and language. Ever since his older sister gave him the book The Old Man and the Sea when he was little, he's been fascinated with the art of writing. Had he gotten the opportunity, he thought about restarting the school's newspaper club. (Cool note; the book he reads each week is a new book that reflects the personality of the rival. For example; Kizana's book would be Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser.) Instead of Ayano's romance anime sequence, whenever Taro is around Ayano he instead mentally narrates his very own romance novel. He knows this is pathetic, trust me. Not very important note, we changed him to have a more athletic build, longer hair, and a prosthetic leg.

Posting this because my original roleplayer (Fake ASMR) is no longer accepting my scripts.
(Airport terminal noises)
I can’t believe it, I am finally going to meet my long distance boyfriend. We’ve only talked through discord and seen each other through our phone screens. But I am going to meet my darling in-person. His flight from the south should be coming in about 20 minutes, that should be enough time to get him a meal right for him right before our flight to Edmonton. Maybe Tim Hortons? It’s still only 10:30 and it might be coffee time also he probably never had Tim’s before. But that’s crap. Maybe that Juice store. I will get him some lemonade and wraps for the both of us and then we will wait for our flight together. Thank god Air Canada allowed darling to sit next to me despite being a connecting passenger.
Okay, gate F64, oh my goodness it’s darling! Hey babe, (Kissing noises) I got you some lemonade and wraps! So how was your flight? It was a good flight, well that’s great.
Now we need to get to gate D40 in about 45 minutes to get to our flight to Edmonton so we need to rush over, but it will feel faster looking at that pretty face of yours. Soon enough we will be in Edmonton and heading over to EDMfest, the largest electronic dance music festival in all of the Western hemisphere. Over 250 artists on 12 stages, A full carnival with over a dozen rides, laser and fireworks shows. All because someone noticed Edmonton’s first 3 letters are in fact “EDM”. Edmonton is basically a cowtown in the middle of Alberta that is swarmed by half a million ravers for 3 days.
(Transition, distant electronic music with occasional fireworks and various people partying)
I know it’s late darling but it’s not really dark for long now we need our rest. We’ve been partying and dancing since we got out of the 2 hour long security line. It’s about midnight actually, Edmonton only gets like 5 hours of nighttime before the sun rises at like 5:30 in the morning. Besides the lines for the water and food vendors get super long as the morning gets along. I know you want to party some more, but I bought the tickets and I provided the accommodations. No it’s not a hotel room, the festival area is like a mile away from the nearest hotel and those get really expensive the closer we are. Personally I am going down the nostalgic route.
Tada! It’s a two person tent, so we can spend the night under the stars. I was a girl scout back in the day and enjoyed camping by the lake. I got us a two person tent with dividers so we can have our own little privacy during the night. They are surprisingly cheap. About 220 dollars, Canadian actually, that’s like a nice hotel room for a night but i can take it wherever i want forever. It’s so much better than a hotel room in terms of value and all of the fun of sleeping together now let's go in.
Okay nice and cozy and I am kind of sorry for this. But that water bottle I gave you since all the lines for the water bottles are like an hour and the bottles cost like 7 dollars. Well I took it from the creek nearby and boiled the water and activated a mild form of GHB that should make you go to sleep right about now.
(Music and sounds fade, transitions to a more mellow and soft music in the distance)
Good morning darling. I cooked you some pancakes, no they don’t have anymore “Date drugs” in them. I am not a psychopath, I'm in love with you. Also I tied you up in the middle of the tent. You are now stuck in the sleeping bag with those restraints. You can wiggle as much as you like, but you can’t leave the bag or the tent. You are like a giant caterpillar in a cocoon. You won’t be able to get out unless I let you out of here.
Well since we are a couple i want you to agree to a few things. One was going to the Excision show tonight, he’s my favorite EDM artist who is alive anyways, RIP AVICII, I know that Calvin Harris is doing another show literally like 30 minutes on the other side of the festival. But whenever we were on Discord, you always seemed to be into the mainstream stuff only and never went deeper into your fandom. Besides Excision is the king of bass and his projection shows are always lit. His shrek show is so freaking cool you have to see it.
Second, you are staying with me, no no no, not just during the festival. You are going to live with me in my basement. In Canada. Like what’s your life like right now. I don’t think you're in college right now or have any job you can return to. Do you still live with your parents?
You live all alone in a tiny studio apartment. Well congratulations i guess i am your new forever roommate and maybe if you start accepting my love for you, being a couple or even husbando and wifey. I am going to start my job in substance abuse counseling. Thank god America allows athletes to go to college for practically free.
Wait you don’t know, I was a Lacrosse player for Syracuse, that’s why you aren’t the best boyfriend so I am going to keep you and mold you into the perfect boyfriend and eventually husbando.
The police will find out, honey you lived alone in Florida with no friends and your family kicked you out when you flunked out of college. Nobody will notice you. I doubt even immigration officials will notice. Tourist visas last surprisingly long and America and Canada are so similar soon enough you will become Canadian like me.

Hi I’m like super freaking out about the status change of my passport. For reference here is my timeline so far:
may 21 — filed my application with all documents and photo with expedited fees and all paid for.
may 28 — I received an email saying my application and check cashed/received and status changed to processing. Locator 45 is working on my app. Cool.
june 4 — status changed to additional information needed. i received an email stating the above. But nothing in the email mentioned what In formation is needed or anything.
ive read that the letter from the passport facility for AIN could take up to two entire weeks to just arrive to my mail box?????? So Im freaking out. bc I have plans in July that I need a passport for and that is the whole reason for expedited shipping and I’m just freaking out.
has anyone who had a AIN status on their application tell me how long realistically did it take for the letter to come in the mail, or am I just doomed and gonna miss my Plans in July.

Letter to my favourite teacher
Hi there. As the end of the school year is coming, at least in my country, i want to give a letter to my teacher i really admire, because she is my favourite one. She is maybe leaving so i want to Thank her for everythinf she has done for me. Here it is:
I've been thinking for a long time about what to give you at the end of the year as a sign of my appreciation. The flowers wilt, the chocolate gets eaten, the feeling of a hug fades, and the spoken words are forgotten in time. That's why I decided to write you a message that you can come back to at any time. When I saw you for the first time in September, I knew immediately that you would be special. The way you talked about history was so infectious that I found myself taking an interest in it in my spare time. I could listen to you for hours and hours. I still remember you coming up to me after the first art class, when no one else was there, and telling me how sweet I was. You said I'm very smart, you can see that in me, and it's nice of you to take my advice. Then I looked at you and something changed. Honestly, I didn't even hear what you were saying next because I was thinking more deeply about you. I don't know exactly what changed, but from that day on I perceived you differently, I felt so comfortable with you. Sometimes we used to talk after class, and even there you used to tell me that I was very good, and when I got full score on my first exam and you praised me so much for that, I felt like a commitment to getting full scores all the time. I didn't want to disappoint you, and I also wanted to prove to you that even in that class where half of the people are completely uninterested in the material you are going over, and the other half are constantly talking, there is someone who is interested in every single word you say. Someone who silently admires you. In October, I ventured to an exhibition you curated. But I was embarrassed to go alone, so I asked my friend to come with me. I wanted to see what you were like outside of school, what your speech would be like, or just what you would look like when you opened the exhibition. When we got there and our gazes met, I could see how pleased you were that we actually showed up. I don't know if you didn't believe that we were really going to be there, or if you just took it as an empty promise, but you were so genuinely happy. We talked and I told you that the exhibution is totally cool. But I hope it was clear to you that I didn't go there because of the artist or because of his paintings, which yes, were amazing, but you were even more amazing. Also at this show I had the opportunity to talk to you a little longer than I did at school. While the girls were there admiring the richly decorated sandwiches on the tables, I listened to everything you said and got to know you a little deeper again. Months passed until we found ourselves in January, the day after the main art exam when I cried in your office. But you were there for me. You didn't ignored me, you didn't say you didn't have time for me, you were willing to listen to what was bothering me and tell me what to do about it. Your approach turned my despair into a learning experience that helped me become stronger. The way you listened to me with open arms and wise words really helped me not to overthink some things. But you were the one who explained it to me. You were the one who told me not to dwell on the things I can't change, not to carry the burden of the past on my shoulders every day and to let go of it as soon as possible. You were the one who was there for me. I can't even explain to you in words how much that conversation helped me. It may sound strange, but really, I'm a completely different person. We've talked a lot over the past few weeks, whether it's about school, the future, your experiences, your experiences, or just how other people perceive the world and stating their behaviors. Through these conversations, I've really found out what you're like. You opened up to me as well, allowing me to see other sides of you, not just the ones you show to all students in the school. You have been very encouraging and supportive of me in everything. You were able to find the potential in a girl that everyone immediately wrote off, the path she could take in life. You were able to find a piece of yourself in her. I often wonder how we can be so alike, I've never met anyone like that. It's interesting that I often relive in the future what happened to you long ago. We laugh at similar things, have the same interests, and admire the same artistic movements and their representatives. It's fascinating. I've never met anyone who is as similar to me as you are. Maybe it's the fact that you're just one. You are very intelligent, insightful, elegant and unique. Strong, but also deeply emotional and fragile. Over time I have learned what you like and what you dislike, what you don't make a big deal about and what touches you strongly again. You are beautiful, inside and outside. Perfect as art. You really mean a lot to me, I admire you from the bottom of my heart and I hope to see you again after the holidays. I would be very sad if you were to leave after all. I would miss you very much. In fact, I don't know if I could ever cope with you not being here. I don't know what I would do. I can't imagine that I'd never hear your voice again, that I’d never meet you again. I would miss our conversations, our endless smiles and looks, the warm words and recommendations you give me every week. I would miss you. I can't express in words how much I would miss you. It's hard, thinking about it, but I find comfort in the fact that you would still remain in my memories. Forever. Just the way you are. The way I perceive and admire you. I greatly appreciate all that you have done for me. I appreciate the way you approached me or the special way you thought of me in different situations. I am grateful to you for that. When you think about it, it's all one big art. Exactly the kind of art we learn about at your classes. Artists capture their precious moments, thoughts, and emotions with brush strokes, colors, layers, or random details that are never so random. You are the artist. You are the artist who left the strokes of his brushes in me that will stay there forever.
Thank you.
Please, give me your thoughts About it. Is it Good enough?

As my now bf 27M and I F27 started going on dates I was still Ka-noodling with my ex.
On our third date (1), I brought up the conversation of being exclusive, not because I wanted to be, but because I wanted to be clear that wasn't where I was. I asked him where he was with being exclusive and how he felt about it, and he said that if someone came into his picture he would still consider it, but he wasn't actively pursuing anything else, and hadn't for a long time. I said cool, and told him I was OK with being exclusive, but also OK not being. And would appreciate the natural evolution of a relationship. Meaning that we became committed as it felt right over time, and you could choose what that looked like until we got to know each other more. I gave the example of knowing he was going on a trip in a week, and he was welcome to do whatever he wanted, make out with someone at a bar etc. And he said that was super cool but it was a family trip and he wasn't really interested in that. We then agreed to be exclusive and kissed.
My understanding from that conversation was that we weren't actively seeing other people, but it was still open as we got to know one another. And what that looked like, was up to us.
In this period I saw my ex and told him we needed to stop doing what we were doing, we exchanged letters and kissed goodbye (a peck) and cried (2).
A week or so later I decided I didn't want to pursue things with my now bf after he showed up to our last date before he went on his trip high), lied about a weed vape that fell out of his pocket, and asked me to have intercourse with him in the 15 min he had before he left for the airport when the mood was not that at all (at this time we had been on maybe 4 dates had made out for the first time and not been intimate at all). He also gave me his house key to check on his cat who he left alone for almost a week, and didn't leave enough water for.
Subsequently, I ended up having a drunk and stupid conversation with my ex where we sexted, and I told him I still loved him and thought about him and someone asked me to be exclusive and I hesitated and wasn't sure. He told me something like I do care, and I said something along the lines of "not enough to stop it before it happens" (4). Extremely cringe honestly I hate thinking about it.
I did some soul searching and instead of getting back with my ex I decided to pursue things with my now bf and give us a chance. Before doing that I talked to him about my concerns with pursuing a relationship and really liked how the convo went and that's how I made my decision.
After this convo, we were intimate for the first time…
I then knew I needed to tell my ex I did decide to move on and pursue things with someone else. We ended up facing opposite ways on the couch and he cried. I ended up comforting him and then telling him it was starting to feel inappropriate and he said he would leave, and I said thank you. We didn't kiss or anything. But having my feet underneath his leg to keep warm, and leaning in to lay down and rub his back and tell him it was ok and also to subsequently start crying, felt inappropriate (5). I also remember crying and being sad it was over.
A few weeks later I decided as my now bf and I were getting serious, he should know all of this. I brought up when we were exclusive and he said he thought it was on our third date (1). And then I told him that wasn't what I understood from that convo and told him everything. When describing (4) I told him I almost went back, I wasn't sure, and that I exchanged inappropriate messages. I asked him if he wanted to know more and he said no. When I told him about (5) I said that he came over to discuss the inappropriate messages, I told him I had decided to move on with someone else and that we laid together, he cried, I was really upset too and I comforted him.
TL;DR
He’s told me that he doesn’t care and it’s my right to choose between two people and I didn’t owe him anything at the time. He also said he wasn’t an angel during this time either. I do know that he was sexting other people during this time but I don’t know if it was before or after the convo (1), because I didn’t ask and I don’t really care.
Even though he says he doesn’t care, I know that if he knew all of the details from (4) and (5), he would care.
I can’t help but feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I can’t forgive myself for how I acted. This is the worst thing i’ve ever done.
My therapist says I didn’t do anything wrong, but It feels like cheating to me.
How do I leave this in the past? Would you care if any of the other details came up if you knew the bigger picture?

I love mystery boxes but also etsy/online shopping in general. I was wondering if anyone would like to talk about their experiences with etsy shops that cater to us. I'd really love to hear about yours, since I'm always looking for new places to try.
I'll start with my experiences!
shopping with EllesLilBoxes has overall been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 3 things ordered at once
purchases: non-little gift box, agere box, adopted plushie (if I listed everything I got I'd be here for days! but she gives a lot of options to choose from and gives a good idea of what you'll get in your order.)
positives: they were in constant contact with me, making sure they understand what I wanted and fulfilled beyond my wildest dreams. they follow details on requests closely. the quality on the stuff sent was very high. they had a lot of obstacles shipping to the US but never gave up. honestly my best shop experience to date. their tiktok is great with tons of order packing videos.
negatives: international shipping prices. not their fault though! IMO totally worth it.
shopping with LightysSFWregression has overall been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 3
purchases: bedtime agere box (size large; got a night light as requested, as well as a shark tumbler, a taggie, a pacifier, a coin purse, a notebook, a coloring pad and pencils, a plushie, socks, a tangle, a face mask, a teether and candy), unthemed agere box (size medium; I had asked about a certain themed cup, which I got, and had asked if I needed to order a goth box to get it, since that's what it had shipped with for someone else, was told no, but got some goth items anyway, not sure if they were confused or just figured I'd be into it since I asked! got the cup I mentioned, a plushie, a baby-sized blanket, a pen, stickers, post-its, a Kuromi night light, candy and the same teether pencils and activity pad as last time), petre box (size medium, got gloves, a collar choker, ears, multiple chew toys and a mini blanket like i asked for! also got a coloring book and pencils which aren't on-theme but i still like them, and a mini plush that looks exactly like my own cat! they also remembered my favorite patterns and colors from past orders which is nuts.)
positives: they remember what I like from order to order, which is crazy! Most of the stuff they pick out is stuff I would buy for myself. They can find something for most themes or interests no matter how random. They're great at finding items for middles, not just toddlebaby littles. They cater to requests very well. They're very helpful and responsive. Shipping is usually fast and has never been late for me. They offer caregiver and petre boxes as well as many agere themes.
negatives: failed to notice one of my allergens in a product they sent. i did have one item arrive broken. have gotten some duplicate items. things don't always fit the specific theme of the box. the caregiver box is mainly things for cgs to give to their littles, which i find a little disappointing; having a cg box is a good idea though. they won't make pride/pronoun pins for mspec lesbians/gay men, as those are deemed "problematic" identities, which might be a bummer for people who identify as such. (though obviously their shop their rules!)
shopping with angelicangelgifts has overall been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 2
purchases: littlespace mystery boxes (received plushies, crafts, Sanrio and other Japanese items, Care Bears, Blue's Clues, coloring supplies, vintage items)
positives: unique, interesting stuff. friendly and accommodating seller. excellent value for the money.
negatives: I think personalization options are limited to what she has on hand and as of this writing she only has one box left available in her store, to my knowledge with no plans to add more.
shopping with btsbaddy has overall been a great experience for me!
purchases: 2 (1 in transit)
purchased items: small Bluey agere box (received paint with water book, water bottle, croc charm, stickers, ear hair clips, snacks, a paci and clip that were thematically relevant to Bluey episodes but not actually Bluey themed), petre box (don't have it yet)
positives: I asked if I could substitute a certain teether I liked in a different themed box. They had none left. They went to two different stores trying to find me one! Even though they couldn't find it at the time I was blown away by that level of dedication. the box was a decent value for the money and they took my favorite characters into account, and my faves are pretty obscure/random (Indy, Winton, Buddy, Jack, PomPom).
negatives: some things in the box seemed random/off theme, smaller boxes use toddler pacifiers instead of adult, which may negatively affect some people's opinions. i've seen reviews state things could be more personalized, i didn't have an issue with that but then i chose a specific themed box to begin with. i just ordered a more open-ended one so we'll see what I get. the value isn't a huge deal for the money but I think it's fine and the customer service is worth paying for IMO.
shopping with littlespaceworld has overall been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 1
item purchased: littlespace mystery box, on sale (size little; received a puzzle, a mini plush, a tiny sand pail with bubbles in it, a ring toss water toy, a rattle, a teether, play-doh, air dry clay, fidgets, a handmade paci clip, chewelry, snacks, pins, a cup and a spill-proof snack container)
positives: attention to detail is amazing! package definitely made me feel like a kid again! the hand-crocheted clip is gorgeous. the employees are absolutely wonderful and so kind. really got a lot more than i anticipated.
negatives: a lot of dollar store stuff, which I realize is to be expected. their stuff definitely skews towards baby/toddler regressors, so if you like "older" stuff make sure to mention it! (I didn't but that was my fault, and I can use most of the stuff anyway!)
shopping with anxiouskittencrafts has overall been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 1 but talking to them about a second
items purchased: rainbow/pride agere mystery box (received a BEAUTIFUL deco pacifier, a handmade clip, a Mermicorno figure, stickers, tattoos, a sippy cup and a hair bow), currently talking about a paci clip
positives: I think they might be a mind reader??? I'm not usually into deco pacifiers but this one was perfect for me specifically with its theming (more specific than just "rainbow!"), and so beautiful! The clip goes with it perfectly and is adorable and high quality, with silicone beads. Everything is well made and high quality. You get a listing of what you get in each box with purchase.
negatives: not customizable (at least not yet); if they offer customizable options I may go broke shopping here
shopping with thefluffycornerstore has been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 1
purchases: adopted plushie! (a little shark)
positives: they added some extra stuffing where he'd sprung a leak and sent him with stickers and the cutest note! Lovely seller.
negatives: presently no longer selling littlespace boxes, which is disappointing because theirs looked really good. individual items however remain for sale.
shopping with pastelwitchbaby has been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 1
purchases: overstock mystery box (received plushie, coloring book, plain pink pacifier, pink dino bottle, fidget tube, pop-it keychain)
positives: got what was advertised (aside from a bottle instead of a cup, but that's fine! I don't usually use those but it never hurts to have one!), good value for the money
negatives: mystery boxes are no longer available presently, however their crafts are really nice!
shopping with littlespacemb has been a great experience for me!
number of purchases: 1
purchases: paci clip and pouch
positives: terrific quality, adorable prints, the clip uses snaps instead of a string which I really like
negatives: none that I've experienced
shopping with LittlingNickNacks has been overall been a very good experience for me!
number of purchases: 3 (1 currently in transit)
purchases: littlespace lottery spins at 5 and 3 dollar levels (won sticker pacifiers, pacifier clips, stickers, a pin, two sippy cups, socks, a keychain and a bunch of resin planars for decorating)
positives: I like the sticker pacis as an option between plain and deco. They're great about listening to what you like and don't like and will substitute items within reason if there's something you can't use. I've done two of their lottos and haven't gotten anything I didn't like. The mystery/lottos are really varied with tons of choices, the starter packs of various sizes come with all the basics and more, and you can also just buy the items you want outright. So whatever you want, they have you covered. Their TikTok is frequently updated with a lot of fun posts.
negatives: stuff takes a while to ship and is usually later than expected. They do also sell adult themed boxes on their page, which isn't a negative for me personally but is for some. they're currently having a lot of problems with their distributor but hopefully will have things back on track soon. communication has not been great lately but that will hopefully improve once the current issues are under control.
shopping with kittyscutecollection has overall been a pretty good experience for me
number of purchases: 4
purchased items: two custom pacifiers (broke one and got an identical replacement), agere mystery box (dino theme; got a teether, socks, a lot of cute crafts, a ring toss "video game" toy, a toddler puzzle and a wind up train set), Bluey mystery box (items you get are now listed in the shop and are not random)
positives: incredibly accommodating! you get a lot of items for the money. the made to order pacifiers are really good quality. if i didn't have to pay international shipping on top of them, i'd probably think the prices are really good.
negatives: contents of the Bluey box aren't great quality (and not everything is licensed, which was disappointing; that box now advertises what you get). wish you had more theme options beyond dinosaur and unicorn, but they will include items that aren't strictly on-theme. not tremendously personal boxes but they do make an effort to include things you like!
shopping with pinkscriptscribbles has overall been a pretty good experience for me.
number of purchases: 3
purchases made: comfort character custom care package, regular comfort character letters with small packages
positives: my partner loved her letters from SVU characters (I didn't read them as it seemed too personal somehow, but I got her them as a gift), I got one from Bluey and it was pretty good! I haven't bought one of their littlespace comfort character items but I imagine they're similar.
negatives: the packages are pretty impersonal even when you customize them. i realize it's hard to customize for characters you don't know well, but making the effort would be nice.
comfortfandom unfortunately seems to have vanished, they've had a hold on new orders for over six months now; however should they return i cannot recommend them enough, their comfort character letter was perfection, and the package was great too.
revenantrose is a great seller, unfortunately no longer selling littlespace items but great customer service anyway.
littlesplace and thetinypumpkinpatch both ghosted without sending items; I think etsy has since removed both shops.
currently waiting on my first package from dreamypacis.
on my list to try in the future are little4bigs, lizzieslittlemarket, bunwantsaplushie, littlebearboxes, pinkcowpaci, flowersforfaye, lilluvables, angeldreamzshop, foxwoodscoven (if prices decrease again, i'm sympathetic to their need for increased prices to fund a move and recognize that you also need to pay for the vendor's time and effort, but they're simply more money than I can afford to pay at 70 dollars for an extra-small box that contains maybe 15 dollars in contents), smolskyco, madebyannaboutique, yokaiyard96, lilsecretz, and mistyangelco and luciferlupine if they return to etsy.
i probably won't try these shops, as they don't seem like what I'm personally looking for, but I'm adding the names of the other shops I've browsed because you might enjoy looking at them!
shysweeties (price is too steep for me for what you get, but customers seem pleased) littlespacestations (full deco pacis aren't my thing and I'm not a bath person, however their stuff looks like great value and quality) littlebluespace (no shipping to the US but would try them otherwise) chellysboxes (waiting for them to get more reviews with photos but I'd like to give them a chance if I like what I see) cozyfrappie (they only offer a starter pack for littles, which is just stuff I personally don't need, looks good though) sparkledogstudios (the littlespace box contents just aren't things I need personally, shop has good reviews) chiekosboutique (zero reviews so far, waiting to see, shipping price also looks pretty steep unless the small boxes are bigger than i'm picturing) babygirlscornertime (the stuff is SO SO nice and cute, just out of my price range! the prices are fair it's just too much for me) littlespacecornerart (deco pacis only, very cute), littlekittenprints (great print-out littlespace content, not what I need but it looks good, stuff is marked ddlg but it's all sfw) squishyfrogshop (the byo pacifier thing is a great idea and their stuff looks really nice) subbymousecrafts (stuff sounds potentially interesting, waiting on some reviews) teddybearsafeplace (prices are too steep for me but might be in your price range, thrifted mystery box is a cool idea) stardustpacis (no reviews yet) scarlettlittles (deco pacis only) kindyclub (downloadables and comfort character letters) pasiveaggressivepacis (custom deco pacis) clumsylullaby (adopt a stuffie program, v cute) pjkittybootique (themes for the little packages don't appeal to me but they look decent) taurusariespacis (custom pacis) littlemenagerieco (deco pacis, if they ever start doing custom animal crossing ones i'll be there in a second.) pacisandstuffshoppe (deco pacis) littlesugarplushshop (deco pacis) angelsprettypacis (deco pacis) thesirenshoppe (deco pacis) juniorswonderland (mystery box only, no reviews yet)

This is obviously not the most important part of The End. But I think everything else has already been explored, so I wanted to see what your thoughts are on all the religious allusions in The End. There’s “Like a snake around his hand,” “my God destroys the flesh,” and the multi-stanza Noah’s Ark allusion. Not to mention, if you listen close, it sounds similar to when church choirs are singing hymns.
Do we think they’re Christian now? She’s been very witchy in the past, and I’m not necessarily saying that’s changed, as she’s always referenced religion. But it was an interesting choice that she said “my” God and I’ve noticed them say similar things on their Insta stories. She also doesn’t usually go this in depth with religion in the music, it’s usually just a brief hint or two here and there.
When people are going through crises and dealing with such scary illnesses, they do often rethink their spiritual beliefs. I’d be a little disappointed if she wasn’t a witch anymore, as I’m a witch, and she said “you witchy thing” to me in a letter I got. It’s just been so cool to identify with them on that level, to see all the pagan motifs in IICHLIWP. But, of course, everyone is free to believe what they want and I’m not about to hold it against them if their beliefs did change.
All we can really do is speculate, but what do you think about the religious allusions?

Early this 2024 year, I booked an private student accommodation in Coventry to start my studies studying in September 2024.However, now in June I decided to not stay in that specific accommodation because of the facilities conditions(broken,old , not matching the pictures when I visited in person). I signed the contract in January and the cooling period was just 14 days after signing all docs, however, it's strange because during the contract preparation the company did not ask for any documents(visa, passort, id) , they just asked my name and house address(that's the only info in my contract), also they required a holding deposit,which I paid,however, the rent in full(I could not get instalments because I have no guarantor and I'm an international student ) I did not pay yet. My problem is I asked the company to cancel\terminate the contract because I found another place, at the beginning they said it was ok and they were willing to cancel it but in the second time I contacted them regarding the contract termination tell said they are not willing to do that because "the house market in the city is tough". I just want to know if I don't pay the rent starting in September if the company can take any legal action on me even if they don't have my ID, PASSPORT or UNI letter .

Hi everyone, I changed my address on tax office on June 2nd, by I did a mistake and I should not be registered at that address. So this afternoon June 4th, I changed it again to the correct address.
Normally it can be changed immediately and I would receive a confirmation letter on Kivra. But this time, 8 hours has passed but still I have not received anything and at tax office website, my address is unchanged. Does anyone know there is a cool down between a change if address? What should I do now? Will my second time change of address work or be rejected? Thank you very much!

Early this 2024 year, I booked an private student accommodation in Coventry to start my studies studying in September 2024.However, now in June I decided to not stay in that specific accommodation because of the facilities conditions(broken,old , not matching the pictures when I visited in person). I signed the contract in January and the cooling period was just 14 days after signing all docs, however, it's strange because during the contract preparation the company did not ask for any documents(visa, passort, id) , they just asked my name and house address(that's the only info in my contract), also they required a holding deposit,which I paid,however, the rent in full(I could not get instalments because I have no guarantor and I'm an international student ) I did not pay yet. My problem is I asked the company to cancel\terminate the contract because I found another place, at the beginning they said it was ok and they were willing to cancel it but in the second time I contacted them regarding the contract termination tell said they are not willing to do that because "the house market in the city is tough". I just want to know if I don't pay the rent starting in September if the company can take any legal action on me even if they don't have my ID, PASSPORT or UNI letter .

I'm looking for help converting a Scouts group patch into a digital design (Vector Format) so that we can use it for stickers, put it on our Facebook Page, and for our cool cart build project. I have a high-resolution scan of the patch and a poor-quality digital image from our patch-making company. With a Vector file, I would like to make the lettering a little darker to better contrast with the background.
This is a kids' group, and I don’t want to share the image publicly. I would appreciate any assistance in converting a high-resolution scan of a patch to a vector file and changing the text color to either brown or black.
As per the rules. I will monitor & reply to the public comments and contact interested editors.
Thank you!

I think I'll stop updating AITAH after this post and stick to the subreddit. I know people might not find it but honestly that's ok. This is as much for me as it is for anyone else.
Have you ever gotten lost in thought in the shower and spent so long there that the hot water runs out? That’s what happened to me.
I did manage to gain some clarity while just standing there and thinking. I realized I was going to need to make some immediate plans, that I couldn’t just let things keep coming at me without being prepared. I knew that I needed to do what I could to get ahead of things before they hit like a tsunami and took me down. The first thing I did after drying off and pulling on some clothes was call JA.
I apologized for bothering him again so soon. He just laughed and said Joe used to call him at all hours and he missed it. He told me that Joe (and now I guess, me) was pretty much the only client he still worked with and that although his name was still listed first on the firm’s wall, he wasn’t in that much demand these days as he had younger attorneys with a lot more ambition doing the heavy lifting. He was just there to keep everyone out of trouble. I doubted that very much but accepted it as his way of telling me not to worry about bothering him.
I asked him if Joe’s letter was part of the filing with the probate court. He confirmed that it wasn’t, which was a huge relief. I shared my concerns about the fact that Joe had, in part, disclosed how extensive his holdings were in the letter and that when word got out I’d never have any peace.
He said he’d had the same concerns and had shared them with Joe. Regardless, Joe had told him he wanted to read it as it was and that he knew it was going to be dropping a bomb but that he had his reasons and was sure that I could handle it.
JA and I spoke a bit more and agreed that there was no easy way for someone to piece together the total holdings in the estate, that his network of trusts, holding companies, and shell corporations made it difficult even for them to keep track of.
So basically, I had eight relatives that had heard the letter read, one of whom was my father, and I knew I could trust him not to talk about it. That left seven people in the family that were probably going to spread gossip, but I had the option of just saying that Joe had left me some property and the house and that it was just the rumor mill making it out to be a bigger deal than it was.
I thanked him and said that I’m hoping that long as I keep a low profile and don’t start spending money like my aunts did, that I can keep people from finding out for a little while. He made me promised to call him if I needed anything else over the weekend and we said our goodbyes, for the 3^rd time that day.
I called my dad right after JA and I got off the phone and shared the same concerns with him. I said I was going to try to keep things under wraps as long as I could and asked him to just not confirm any rumors. He told me he had already been thinking the same thing and hadn’t even shared much with Jessica. We agreed to keep it like that for a while and hung up.
Finally, I called Emily back, who sounded much better than she had 45 minutes before. She told me she was on her way to her friend’s house to stay the night.
I asked her if she wouldn’t mind keeping what Joe said in his letter private for now. I told her that I really didn’t want the attention right now. She immediately agreed and said she wouldn’t tell anyone. I suggested she also keep her inheritance a secret as well, that the fewer people that knew the better. She said that made sense and that it wasn’t anyone’s business anyway. Smart kid.
When I asked her whether she had a summer job yet and when she had to leave for college, she hesitated for a minute before saying that she wasn’t sure when she was leaving for college and that she was still looking for a summer job but needed one ASAP.
I had been hoping that was the case and asked her if she’d like to work for me over the summer. I was expecting to get bombarded by calls. If she was up for it, I’d pay her $20 an hour to work in my office, answer the phones, handle some filing, and keep my calendar. I told her she could start on Monday.
Emily immediately shouted, “YES!” and asked if she could start tomorrow instead. For the first time that day, I laughed, which felt really good. I jumped at the chance to pass my phone off as soon as possible and asked her to come by my place at 8:30 if that wasn’t too early for her. She said 8:30 was perfect, that she had a change of clothes with her, so she’d just leave her friend’s place and head straight to mine first thing in the morning.
Finally feeling like I had accomplished something, I headed downstairs with 15 minutes to spare. Sam and I were meeting two blocks away at a relatively new restaurant that saw most of its business on the weekend. Trendy bars and restaurants had started lining sections of Main Street now as the weekend population exploded, bringing a lot of energy to the town.
Walking over, I noticed that John (my “minder) had taken up position several yards behind me. I made a mental note to ask Mark about him tomorrow morning, maybe he knew him.
Arriving at the restaurant a few minutes before 6:30, I scanned the patio and bar for Sam and confirmed I’d beaten her there. I put my name down for a table and went back outside to tell John that I was going to be wait inside. He said he’d be at the bar or relatively close by and that his replacement, Craig, would be here in about 30 minutes.
He was explaining that there would be someone positioned outside my home all night when I told him I saw Sam walking up. John stepped aside discreetly, as Sam and I hugged and moved toward the bar to sit down while we waited on a table.
I asked about her day. “I never schedule surgeries on Fridays, so it was a fairly easy day. Mostly catching up on notes, following up with patients, and doing consults.”
“Now quit stalling. I’ve been waiting all day to hear about what happened! What are they going to do with Joe’s place?”
I started by recapping the morning. When I mentioned Debbie and my brother were banging on the doors after trying to come into the meeting late, she started laughing and I felt a little more relaxed. I didn’t mention the security or Debbie’s arrest later in the day and momentarily wondered whether this was one of those cases where an omission was the same as a lie.
Right around that point the hostess came over to seat us. We grabbed our drinks and moved into the dining area, settling into a table in the corner of the restaurant. “You’re killing me Alex, tell me about the property and the car, are you going to be able to buy them?”
I looked down for a moment gathering my thoughts before responding. “No, I don’t have to buy them, he left me the house and property, along with the car and pretty much everything else.”
Sam’s eyes got wide and she started to cheer but held it back to a yip. “Oh my god, that’s amazing. I’m so glad, I had hoped he would do that. There was really no reason why he would leave them to anyone else.”
At this point I was pretty sure we were well past the threshold for an omission to be a lie and I pushed on. “Actually, that’s not the whole story. It seems like Joe had a lot of secrets. He had a lot more than just the house and car.”
“How much more, Alex?”, she was squinting at me as if she could tell I was holding back (which honestly, I guess I had been).
“It’s a lot, Sam…” I started. She just stared at me. “How much?”
I was getting uncomfortable, not because I didn’t want to tell her but because it wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. She didn’t seem excited or happy; I really couldn’t put my finger on it.
I took a deep breath and started explaining about the land, the buildings, and his portfolio. I went on for several minutes, recapping what he had said in his letter about family, legacy, and his disappointment in how they had squandered what had been given to them.
Once I finally paused she asked how much I was talking about. I gave her a ballpark. Joe hadn’t been in the billionaire boys club but once you get past a certain point does it really matter whether there is an extra zero?
“Are you being serious right now?” she asked. I assured her I was and that some folks in the family were pretty upset. I told her about Debbie’s break-in, and she finally laughed at the image of Debbie turning to find cops with guns pointed at her.
I went ahead and let her know that the law firm had arranged for security, both at Joe’s place and for me, until things cooled down. She asked me if there was someone watching over us in the restaurant right now. John’s replacement had arrived while we were talking, I pointed at him. Sam turned to look then turned back to me, her smile was gone.
“I called my mom yesterday, excited that we’d reconnected and that all the old feelings were there. She said it sounds like a fairy tale, that we’re going to have the cutest kids and the perfect life! One day later, you’re in a dynastic hillbilly battle walking around with a bodyguard? Where’s the fucking picket fence in this scenario, Alex?”
My eyes must have widened at that statement and she blushed as she realized what she had said before taking a long pull on her old-fashioned and fixing her stare back on me.
I was struggling to think of how to respond, when she reached across the table and covered my hand with hers. “Alex, I know this isn’t your fault, it’s just a lot to take in.” She paused before continuing, “the guy over there watching over you might not be here temporarily. You need to understand that your life is never going to be the same again, and anyone that’s part of with you is going to be affected by this.“
Sam had always been able to quickly assess a situation. She was right; my life wouldn’t be the same. Joe’s secret would get out, and the family feud was probably just beginning. I realized I’d been quiet, lost in thought. She squeezed my hand.
“It’s going to be okay Alex, I just need time to process, the same as you do… Now tell me about the rest of the day.”
I carried on, skipping the part about the family trust and the community foundation Joe asked me to oversee. When I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea to support pressing charges on Debbie, Sam agreed that it would probably just make things worse. She suggested I work on getting her out tomorrow, saying one night in jail was probably enough.
I mentioned my plan to have Emily work for me until she left for college and Sam thought it was a great idea. She offered to stop by in the morning, while I was at breakfast with Mark, and spend some time with her. She said that not only would Emily being there help me, but that it might also help with the family situation. I’m not convinced of that, but I hope she’s right.
When I told her that I probably needed to go to Joe’s place soon she said she’d be happy to join me, if I wanted the company. I promised to check with her before I went.
We’d finished dinner at this point and had finally settled back into a casual rhythm by the time dessert came. Both of us were worn out by the time the check came. I paid and walked Sam out to her car, with Craig in tow.
Sam glanced back at him. “I guess it’s a good thing you’ve got him to watch over you… although if I had wanted to stay at your place that would be a bit awkward now,” she said.
I must have looked shocked because she laughed. “Easy, I’m kidding. It’s been a long week. I’m ready for bed…my bed, but I’m glad I can still spin you up.” She kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning!” she called over her shoulder as she got into her car.
I walked back home, starting to realize just how tired I was. After taking the dogs out, I went straight to bed. The next thing I knew, it was morning, light was streaming through the window, and my phone was ringing loudly.