came to a realisation once again that my parents will never ever truly change. for background purposes, dad was abusive, controlling, he was into substance abuse, mom’s an enabler, never called the police on her addict husband, never reported on his abuse, never spoke up for me to protect me enough. that’s how I feel
I’ve gained the guts to tell my father off and we’ve gotten into fights etc and have come a long way but I realised how he’s just been manipulating my emotions regarding the money he owes me. He owe me $6k but yesterday he claimed to have paid it all off and I gave up explaining cos he technically hasn’t. So I asked him for additional money $2k because I want it. So he gave me $500 in advance. I think he’s fucked me over enough the least he can do is pay up.
Somehow I never really had the guts to tell my mom off because even though she never physically abuses me, her reaction and outbursts, and emotional manipulation is 😫 how she just cries, and says she’s been through so much, I never see her efforts, her own pain, she wants to be understood, but never wants to understand or deal with the truth.
Yesterday I had a huge argument with her. It was an angry outburst and I told her off on everything. I said dad could only take $6k from me because of you. And she fought back obviously. Saying if she didn’t give she would be beaten. She said she will slap me. I said go ahead I’ll tell the police on everything you watched but never had the guts to speak about. And she said, how can you report me when I’ve another child to take care of? Do you see how she doesn’t understand and victimises herself?
Growing up, I’ve always been my parents’ therapist or mediator. My mom would stand in front of me so dad won’t hit me as hard but isn’t that the min she should be doing as a mom? And I always listened to her issues with dad like a friend. She’s responded very mean to certain things I opened up to her about unlike me.
I’m heartbroken. Yesterday my parents said it’s all the past, I should be able to forget, not use their past against them, they’re tired. I actually give up on trying to work on any boundaries with them. I accept that they’re always gonna gaslight me and dad uses my love for him as a weapon to get what he wants. They are soulmates and not any different from one another. I cried because however I got angry reminded me of dad. I was overthinking and thought to myself how I could potentially ruin my relationship because of my anger. But then I realise the only time I have angry outburst, it’s with my parents, not anyone in public, not my boyfriend. I am able to contain myself well, speak with enough empathy, get to an understanding. I thought I was a monster but I don’t think I am anymore.
Thanks for reading. Any support and love would be appreciated.

Background: I live in a single family home in Arlington. Our family has lived in this home for a few generations and I've personally lived here for over twenty years since I married my husband. In that time we have never had any issues with any of our neighbors. Our block is quiet, friendly, and mostly comprised of families with kids and retirees. Most of these residents have also lived here for years. We don't often see people move in or out.
The family two houses down from us is older and has an adult son around my age (40's). The son has recently returned to the neighborhood and is working on his parents' home. I'm not sure if he resides there full time but it seems like he does. My issue is that this individual is pretty disruptive and honestly a bit scary at times. Since he has been staying there this past year I have heard fighting and yelling and seen the police respond to the home multiple times. I'm not a busy body and it didn't affect my family so at first I didn't dwell on it. From what I've been told by other neighbors it's been because of altercations with his parents. But his behavior is getting worse and now it's starting to affect us directly.
For the last two weeks he has played the same 6 songs on his radio super loud while he runs back and forth in the road between his house and mine. For hours. I mean so loud that I can hear it over my own TV, music, etc inside my own home two houses away on the farthest edge of my property with the windows closed. I'm a gardener so I spend a lot of time outside and I can't even be in my yard unless I pop in some earbuds and play my music loudly to drown his out. Of course the reasonable course of action would be to ask him politely to turn it down but I haven't asked him because his behavior seems to be escalating (see below). And since he does it after 9am and before 9:30pm I don't think I can even lodge a noise complaint.
In addition, while I was working in my garden on Saturday I heard him yelling, screaming, and cursing at the top of his lungs for a substantial period of time. Thankfully my kids were not home at the time, and I stayed out of sight. Someone (I don't know who) called the police to his house yet again. I'm not sure if the police did anything because the next day, Sunday morning, this dude was back running down the street between my house and his. I normally wouldn't care about the running (even though it drives our dogs nuts) aside from the loud music, and didn't really care until Sunday. I live at the end of a dead end street and there is only one direction I can drive to leave my house. If any part of that road is blocked, I'm stuck. I had to drop my kid off at work that morning and this guy was out in the middle of the road doing his thing so I could not leave. Our block does not have sidewalks and pedestrians and bikers often walk/run/cycle down the road but they typically stay to one side or move over to let vehicles pass. Despite asking nicely several times if he could move over so I could pass, he continued running back and forth in the middle of the narrow road in front of me making it impossible to drive down the street or go around him. Not only did he not even reply to my request or make eye contact, he then started purposely running in an unpredictable zig zag pattern from side to side directly in front of my car so that there was no way to leave my home without running him over. At some point he started trying to play chicken with my car and I was scared that he would launch himself across the hood of my car or that I would accidentally hit him with my vehicle. In hindsight I should have reversed back the couple of feet to my house and called the police but I was totally flustered and worried that my kid would be late for work. My husband was eventually able to drive around him despite him trying to lunge at our car. When we returned home there was no sign of him. I have only seen him from a distance in his own yard ever since.
My question is, what do I do now? Do I report the incident to the police? He is obviously not receptive to conversation and it seems as though he might be having some mental health issues. I don't think it would do any good to try to speak his parents, the owners of the home, as they don't seem to be able to control him - hence the cops being called multiple times, and I'd rather keep my distance. Will the police even be able to do something? Can they have him evaluated? How many times do they have to respond to incidents at his house before he is charged with something or detained? Is there somewhere I can look to see if he has any pending charges or previous criminal history? I am worried about retaliation if I report it, especially since I have kids and pets. And I'm worried about a confrontation occurring between him and my husband should he do something like this again, as my husband will not tolerate threatening behavior towards me. All I want is for the behavior to stop and things to go back the way they were. I'm also thinking about talking to the neighbors to see if they're also having issues. Probably nothing we can do collectively but if someone has any ideas I'm happy to hear them. I'm pretty sure that blocking traffic on a public street is against the law. Unfortunately I didn't get any video of the incident. I think, if nothing else, it might be time to install a dash cam in my car and additional security cameras around my house.

I was trying to create a small list editor by following this tutorial (https://youtu.be/Qo2trwCPj3M?si=yI0MMzvucBdv9k2j). However, I keep getting an error saying that the app quit unexpectedly, which doesn't happen in the video. My code is almost the same as in the tutorial. The only difference is that the author of the video is using Windows, while I am on a Mac. However, I don't see how that could be causing the problem.
I just started learning Qt and C++, so if you have any resources that might be helpful for a beginner, I would appreciate it too. Thanks!

include "mainwindow.h"

include "./ui_mainwindow.h"

include

include

include

//Constructor
MainWindow::MainWindow(QWidget *parent)
: QMainWindow(parent)
, ui(new Ui::MainWindow)
{
ui->setupUi(this);
//Load and save
QFile file(QStandardPaths::writableLocation(QStandardPaths::DesktopLocation) + "\\FileSaved.txt");
if(!file.open(QIODevice::ReadWrite)){
QMessageBox::information(0, "EWWWWW", file.errorString());
}
QTextStream in(&file);
while(!in.atEnd()){
QListWidgetItem* item = new QListWidgetItem(in.readLine(), ui->listWidget);
ui->listWidget->addItem(item);
item->setFlags(item->flags() Qt::ItemIsEditable);
}
file.close();
}
//Destructor
MainWindow::~MainWindow()
{
delete ui;
//Load and save
QFile file(QStandardPaths::writableLocation(QStandardPaths::DesktopLocation) + "\\FileSaved.txt");
if(!file.open(QIODevice::ReadWrite)){
QMessageBox::information(0, "EWWWWW", file.errorString());
}
QTextStream out(&file);
for (int i = 0; i < ui->listWidget->count(); ++ i) {
out << ui->listWidget->item(i)->text()<<"\n";
}
file.close();
}
//Add button
void MainWindow::on_pushButton_add_clicked()
{
QListWidgetItem* item = new QListWidgetItem(ui->lineEdit_userInput->text(), ui->listWidget);
ui->listWidget->addItem(item);
item->setFlags(item->flags() Qt::ItemIsEditable);
ui->lineEdit_userInput->clear(); // clear line edit once done entering
ui->lineEdit_userInput->setFocus();
}
//Remove button
void MainWindow::on_pushButton_remove_clicked()
{
QListWidgetItem* item = ui->listWidget->takeItem(ui->listWidget->currentRow());
delete item;
}
//Reset all button
void MainWindow::on_pushButton_reset_clicked()
{
ui->listWidget->clear();
}

I’m a M/32 yo single dad of 2 kids (8,5). I have been divorced (initiated by me) over 3 years now. I enjoy ~75% custody of my kids (all but 8days a month).
I’ve been seeing someone for about 7months now who all around has been great, however one key thing she comes from a relationship with her baby daddy where she was cheated on and has a lot of trust issues as a result. She (F/28) has a 6yo autistic child who I’ve met. She’s met my kids in a “friend” capacity.
My girlfriend cannot seem to stand the idea of my coparenting relationship with my kids’ mom. Of which I have 0 feelings for, would never subject myself to the codependency and emotional duress and full on anxiety of needing to support again. Our relationship was completely toxic, I basically worked 60hrs, parented, maintained the home, took the kids to school, did all the medical etc etc, and she … stood home and shopped and complained to the end of the earth. Needless to say 0 risk I will ever return to that esp being that we started at 50/50 coparenting and I’ve increased custody bc she is a pretty inconsistent mom which is the biggest turnoff of all.
My current gf has this obsession with the idea I will one day want to revive my relationship with my ex wife for the kids bc our coparenting is weird to her. I pay my ex wife a decent amount in child support and alimony bc I make a decent amount. I do everything for the kids. But this was the reality of our custody arrangements as things progressed and grants me as dad what I want — my kids to be in the best possible situation and me to be able to move them back to NYC with minimal court battle. Being my kids are young we try to do some joint things for them eg coparenting Christmas together with extended family so my kids feel like they aren’t being pulled in multiple directions, the occasional (it’s been 8mons) “family day” where we both take the kids out and talk about the next few mons of needs eg dental / birthdays / trips etc. We have very irregular communication in general. She finds this all “weird” as she, even as a coparent herself, is used to a much more transactional coparenting style with a narcissist who tried to use her kid to control her and get her back. My gf has openly asked me if my taking care of everything for my kids is me trying to “win my wife back”. She’s primarily focused on handoff only convos with her kids dad, where I am a little more loose in that I feel the kids sense animosity and I try to avoid that. Ultimately I want my kids to grow up and know divorce is ok and still being a healing genuine and decent person matters even if it’s when dealing with their mom. I think stylistic coparenting differences are something she refuses to see as just that and is judging me thru a lens of unresolved trauma. She’ll reference how her dad (divorced) and her mom working together trying to be around confused her as a child in response to my feeling my kids do better with this style of coparenting and seems to simply not want to accept that this is simply not a slope I’m slipping down to go get my ex back.
This has been ongoing a few months now and just recently my gf went thru my phone behind my back (I would’ve let her look if she’d asked, nothing to hide) and discovered I have pictures all the way back to high school including my 10 years of marriage, as I truly never felt the need to delete 1/3 of my life from pics to heal and still want to hold onto things like images of the kids growing up which are widely going to include my ex. I have 27k pics of my life, going thru them to purge just never had priority or occurred. She thinks I’m holding onto my relationship. I felt pretty shit from the lack of trust and frankly her phone snooping felt like an invasion of privacy and like she was treating me like I’m her ex, a cheater, when I’m simply not even a hint of that. It was offensive to be treated that way. I saw red for a bit and try to empathize / she’s been thru a lot.
I’m ok deleting these images which she won’t say she wants but seems like what she wants, but expect next time she’ll just ask and communicate instead of snooping then lying about snooping thru my texts and images. I feel I’m NOT ok adopting a more “cold” / “transactional” style of coparenting for another’s insecurity esp if my intent and behavior has been fully respectful of my being in a relationship and I know my approach has been a healthy way of dealing for my kids sake.
Am I being way too rigid here, is this a red flag of mines? Or is this me bending to someone’s unresolved traumas and in fact a red flag I should be concerned about. I believe we both see a future in each other but I am concerned about what this becomes in the future and it’s a neverending cycle of talking about it. Any advice is helpful. I’m a big boy I can also accepted criticism but idk that Reddit needs permission for that.

I’ll try to summarise the story as much as I can. I’m 31f met my ex partner at uni when I was studying architecture when I was 23. His parents had a family development/building business where his dad would leverage debt to buy and develop property himself. When I finished my degree 1.5 years later I moved in with my bf and they immediately got me to work in their family business. I got to learn some admin/ bookkeeping skills that but mainly I did building design work for them. My partner did the same. The thing with their family business is that the dad tried to avoid tax at all costs and set up a trust for his children where all the properties were bought under that he developed and that account was used to live off for everyone as well. So to get by my partner would take out money from the trust and we’d live off it. The business wasn’t run properly for years. It was not going anywhere. Felt like we were just going in circles but the dad always made it seem like we just don’t understand. In that period of time I designed a multi res apartment (34 apartments) that I got a permit for from the council and 5 town houses but that the permit was refused because the dad didn’t listen to the council suggestions due to his suborned. There was another 32 town house development I designed that was about to be submitted but the dad wanted to sell the property before we got to submit the plans which later fell through and became its own mess. Just 3 years into the relationship I told my partner how I feel like I’m on a leash in this dynamic. I have no control over the money it’s just you take it out whenever. But he assured me as well as his dad as well when ever I raised this concerns, that it’s all done for the family as a collective and everyone benefit equally ( my ex had 2 siblings who didn’t actually contribute anything). So because I loved and cared for my partner I tried to leave it but always felt weird and wrong. So now we broke up and the first thing his dad said to him is ‘ did you sign a prenup’ cause he doesn’t want me to have a cent. It’s like I’m a completely foreign person after I worked with them for last 6 years. I have nothing now. I’m not sure if I have a case at all worth fair work commission. I just feel so used and tricked. Any advice or direction would be greatly appreciated.

I feel like this is more normal to Indians but I live in a western country where people tend to be very detached from their parents (even when they have a good relationship with them). I feel weird. My mom and I cuddle, hug a lot, we baby talk, and she still calls me ‘baby’ and my family nicknames, she treats me like a child even though I’m 20. But I don’t see how it’s strange, I mean I’ll always be her baby! I study abroad and when I have to leave home my mom and I cry so hard (while my dad holds back tears haha, he has to be the rock in our family). We used to have a rocky relationship when I was growing up because she had mental health issues but she has changed so much. I told her about my having had sex, pregnancy scares, abortion and birth control, my boyfriend (of a different culture and lower socioeconomic class), changing religion and all sorts of things that would make a lot of parents cut their kids off. She might take issue at first but accepts things immediately and helps me. My mom loves me and I know she (and my dad) put their children above their world views.
My mom and I can get into super intense fights too- name calling, horrible insults, but we will make things up almost immediately.
Meanwhile my western BF sees his mom once every few months, they just hug once or twice and act more formal to each other despite having a decent relationship. She calls him by his name while I’ve never heard my parents call me by my actual name, just the nickname I’ve always had.

We’ve heard feedback from many of you about the need for better ways to control what type of content you see on the home page. We’d like to share several changes we’ll be making to improve how you can share and discover content in AI Dungeon.

Why we’re making these changes

Although AI Dungeon was inspired by Dungeons and Dragons and has a strong representation of RPG players, you can create stories and adventures across any genre. You all have embraced this flexibility and created content on AI Dungeon that spans various genres, fictional universes, writing styles, and more. As our community has grown, many of you have shared an interest in having the content shown to you on AI Dungeon better reflect your own preferences.
In an ideal world, we’d follow the path of social platforms that build advanced personalization algorithms, invest in robust moderation teams, and create custom first-party content for their users. Perhaps one day, we will be able to have similar solutions. Today, we’re still a small team, and we have to look for creative solutions within the constraints we have as a company.
We’ve received lots of feedback that we could do better. User interviews with new players revealed that the content they saw on the home page made them question whether they would feel comfortable in the AI Dungeon community. Some of you have shared that our SFW category still has content that you find objectionable. Many of us at Latitude are parents, and we’d love to have our kids play AI Dungeon without worrying about the content they could be exposed to. Creators have been frustrated that their content won’t be featured on the home page if it’s labeled as NSFW.
At times, we’ve been tempted to make quick changes to address each of these problems. We’ve learned that interventions can have unintended consequences, so we wanted to take our time and be thoughtful with any adjustments.
We want to take a first step toward better supporting your content preferences. We hope that this is the first of many improvements, and we hope that one day, AI Dungeon can be fully personalized to you.

New Content Rating System

To address many of these issues and improve how players discover content we’ll be introducing a new content rating system into AI Dungeon. We’ve chosen to use a modified version of the ESRB rating system to add more granularity to the ratings of content published on AI Dungeon.
The new ratings will be Everyone, Teen, Mature, and Unrated. Some content will still be considered unpublishable, as defined by our Community Guidelines.
We chose to model after the ESRB ratings since it’s a rating system commonly used by other games, and the definitions are more widely understood than those for SFW/NSFW labels. This should enable creators to have an easier time labeling their content with the appropriate rating and help players more easily understand what each content rating means.

Changing Content Ratings

The content rating can be edited in the Details panel of your Adventure or Scenario. You’ll see a new section called Content Rating and a dropdown menu to select the appropriate rating. You can reference our Guidebook Article to help you decide which rating is appropriate for your content. Our community and moderation team is also happy to answer any questions you have about the new categories.
Unless you select a different rating, all published content will be defaulted to the Unrated category.

Transition Plan

While we’re transitioning to the new system, both the new system (based on ESRB ratings) and the old SFW/NSFW label will be displayed when editing or publishing a scenario or adventure. For now, the new content ratings won’t impact the visibility of the content on search, home page, or profiles. Other players will not be able to see the rating. We encourage you to start using this new content rating in preparation for other changes coming to AI Dungeon, which weʻll explain below.
All existing content will be marked as Unrated. We invite all of you to update your existing published content with a new content rating. Because there isnʻt a clear mapping from our old system to new, all content will need to be manually updated with our new rating system. Our team will also be reviewing and updating content to help with this effort.
After we’ve given you all time to update your content ratings, the NSFW label will be removed and we’ll use the new content ratings going forward. We’ll provide updates when we’re ready to cut over to the new system.

Home Page Improvements

Content Rating Preference

One of our most frequently requested features is a setting for you to decide what content you want to see on the home page. We’re finally bringing this feature to AI Dungeon.
A new control will be added to the home page (and mirrored on the Discover page and other players’ profiles) that allows you to select the content rating you’d like to see on those pages. You’ll be able to select from Everyone, Teen, Mature, and Unrated. This setting will be shared across all pages to make sure your preference is honored everywhere on AI Dungeon.

New Content Carousels and Curation

We’ll also be making changes to how content shows up on the home screen, updating it with new sections, or carousels, that showcase different types of content. Some of our existing carousels, like content from our Top Creators, will be preserved. Others will feature high-quality content that our team has manually curated.
We’ve designed these new home page sections to be flexible and easy to update. We plan to update curated sections regularly and experiment with different algorithmically driven sections. We’ve been listening to your ideas and suggestions on what content to feature. For instance, a player recently suggested a section highlighting scenarios that utilize scripting. We might do seasonal themes, contests, or even genre-specific sections. We’re open to ideas and suggestions for the type of content sections you’d like to see on AI Dungeon.
To make this possible, we’re investing in better systems and team resources dedicated to keeping home page content high-quality and fresh.

Creator Program

We’re incredibly appreciative and thankful to those of you creating and publishing content on AI Dungeon. Our creator community is one of the best parts of AI Dungeon, and we hope these home page changes will strengthen it even more!
As many of you know, we have a Creator Program that recognizes some of the best creators on the AI Dungeon platform. These creators receive special recognition in our Discord server, and their content is featured on the AI Dungeon home page.
We expect that the creator program requirements will need to be adjusted in light of the changes we’re making to content ratings and the home page.
Our plan is to carefully observe the impact of these changes and gather feedback from our creator community before committing to any specific adjustments to the program. We encourage creators to share their thoughts with us in Discord or via email.
We want to continue to recognize the creators of great content on AI Dungeon and give them meaningful incentives to create amazing scenarios for all of us to play. We’re excited to explore new ideas with them.

Publishing and Moderation Changes

We’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect the changes coming with the new content ratings. For now, these will be indicated as “Pending Changes” until the new ratings are fully utilized in AI Dungeon. We invite you to review the updated guidelines.
We’ve tried to simplify the guidelines to improve the experience for creators and all of you in the community. One thing we’ve learned about publishing rules is that there is always an exception to every rule. By simplifying, we’re putting more trust in our community and our moderation team.
Over the last two years, we’ve made significant changes to our moderation process. Multiple Latitude executives monitor our moderation efforts, and we’ve added team members to handle the day-to-day moderation work. We’ve also made sure that our community and moderation team are easy to get in touch with so that if creators ever have a question or concern, our team is there to answer any questions.
Our goal with moderation is not to judge or say what’s right or wrong. We are simply trying to make sure that players have the AI Dungeon experience they expect. If a player wants safe, family-friendly content, we want to give that to them. If a player is sensitive to triggering content, we want to help them avoid getting exposed to it unnecessarily.
Creators have been extremely supportive of this effort. By simplifying our Community Guidelines, we’re inviting creators to work closely with our moderators to label content so that the right audience can find it. With the changes to the home page, creators can be assured that no matter what their content rating is, players will be able to find and enjoy their creations.
Our hope is these changes will help you more easily find content youʻre interested in on AI Dungeon. Please feel free to share feedback or suggestions with us, especially during this transition period. Thanks for being part of our great community. Happy adventuring!

Hello, Lovelies! I don’t know what flair to put on here, but here it goes.
I decided to start doing recaps of all of Josh’s videos in case you wonder what’s going on with him, but don’t want to give him views. Unfortunately, yew.tube is down for me right now, so I had to watch his video on regular YouTube which I don’t mind, but for those of you who do hopefully it’s either just me who’s having this problem or it will be fixed by the time you’re reading this. Let’s get right into it.
Today, Jawsh is talking about Della Vlogs throwing their first birthday party ‘for the kid that they bought.’ I don’t know Della Vlogs all too well, so he might be talking about a kid they adopted. Despite what the situation is and how these people treat their adopted child, I think he and his stans are the only people on the planet who would refer to adopting as buying a child.’ Jawsh says Bella’s video is very stupid and out of touch and he brings up the fact that people are dying for some reason that I still don’t understand why any person outside of a mental association would do, but I don’t know the laws in Canada, I’m ‘just a mentally r######d child from Minnesota,’ so what do I know. Jawsh also brings up that there are people who she takes advantage of which kind of gives him permission to bring up the fact that people are dying, but changing the subject like that is still the dumbest thing I’ve seen/heard someone do all day. Josh says that Bella and Dallin are a bunch of buttholes, which I don’t understand. Did Josh not go to school or did he just forget that 2 is not ‘a bunch? The intro that I never understood has anything to do with his channel comes on and he says that someone on the Della Vlogs snark page (hi, Josh!) posted some video with a guitar and he starts going off on the non animate object and ‘how goddamn ugly it is.’ Josh shudders then says he wants to show his viewers how much they’ve lied this month which is ironic once you think about it. Bella says something in the video he pulled up about a mama bear which tempts Josh into doing his annoying as heck ‘vlogger’ voice and asking the audience if they’re a mama bear, then says he would rather be stuck in the woods with a bear than with her ‘mama bear’ because her mama bear’s garbage. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good yo mama joke as much as the next person in line, but grown ass men on the internet should not be making them up. Josh says that what Bella means when she says mama bear is an overprotective mother. He says that this woman is self centered and narcissistic which he says that word is overused ‘and it’s very rare that a person of population actually has narcissism, it really is very rare, but not when it comes to people who share their entire lives with the internet who buy babies for clout.’ Josh says that Bella ‘bought’ the baby for herself and freaked out when the baby wouldn’t crawl to her. He then says that she’s no mama bear and she has no idea what protection of a child looks like because ‘we’ve seen what her mama bear looks like.’ He says they’ve shown their kid every single day since they ‘bought it from the internet.’ Bella says she’s overprotective of the baby she doesn’t have yet and Josh asks if she really is. Bella says that her baby’s adoption story is sacred and private and Josh says that before they even touched the baby they were filming the process and the moment they laid eyes on the baby, the viewers got to as well through a camera. Then he tells the viewers not to listen to anything she says and that she looks like the guy from George Of The Jungle that wears the yellow hat ‘and stuff’ (true confessions time, even though I’m a late 90s/early 2000s kid who loves family movies, I have not seen George Of The Jungle). Bella says that she and Dallin won’t share a lot of details which makes the vlogger voice come out for a second time. Dallin says that they’re not going to share where the baby came from and without a moment’s hesitation, Josh says they did (again I don’t follow their family so I don’t know if they shared where the baby came from). Josh brings up a Matt and Abby video that has since been deleted that he’s trying to memory hole and that he has a video on his channel and tells his viewers to watch it. Josh says that Bella and her husband made 5 promises to the child’s biological mother and that they ‘haven’t kept a single one.’ Bella says they’re planning not to share details on her birth and Josh brings up the fact that they share every single day with their baby on the internet and that they travel all over the world and that the baby has no inkling of a schedule or normalcy, which of COURSE they don’t! Did you know what a schedule was when you were eleven and a half months old? He then says that Dallin is sick of staying with Bella and only does it because of money and ‘at this point it’s not even worth it.’ He says that they have so much money they don’t know what to do with their lives so all they do is travel and they never had to exploit their children for money and that they don’t because they don’t need the money and that Bella exploits her kid for acolyte and that it makes it so much worse because there are people out there who exploit their kids because they think it’s their only way to make money and you can ‘sorta understand but not really.’ Then he says that Bella doesn’t exploit her kid for money and that people who do that are the worst of them all because there’s just no need to do it (I honestly understand where he’s coming from with this, the family vloggers who do it as a source of income aren’t AS bad as the people who do it even though they don’t need money) and that most people who are rich and have kids know to protect them and Bella and Dallin only vlog so people can praise their parenting and that ‘we know she’s not a good mom.’ Dallin says that they document their experiences and Josh says they document their kid and every day of their life so far and that ‘they’re worse than Dougherty Dozen at this point.’ Dallin says they regulated something and Josh asks if they really did. Bella says that they’re protective of their baby and Josh says they’re not protective of the baby. Josh says he can’t stand Bella because she can’t wait to spoil her kid rotten and have a first birthday party for them with expensive party planners and that she takes pictures of herself because she’s so self centered and that her kid’s an accessory to get comments and likes and that she has ‘zero mama bear instincts.’ Josh asks what happened to not videotaping their kid and why they’re ‘such liars.’ Josh looks in the comments section of the video and reads one of them that they document every single thing about the baby from letting strangers take photos of their baby to talking about their baby’s sleep schedule (who DOESN’T talk about their baby’s sleep schedules with their friends). He brings up the 5 promises they made to the bio mom and that she has zero mama bear instincts because she lets people in Korea take pictures of her white kid.
He switches the video to the one of S’s birthday party and says that Dallin has a choice to protect the kid and that he doesn’t do it. Josh again says that Dallin only stays with Bella because she’s rich. The video starts with Bella saying they hired a party planner and Josh says that she Dallin ‘don’t do anything’ and that they ‘want to be the Kardashians so badly.’ Bella says she hopes that the party planner did a good job and Josh seems surprised that they didn’t do anything to plan the party. Bella says her heart is pounding out of her chest and Josh says that ‘it’s a party for a one year old, dumbass.’ Bella says the storybook theme is so cute (it is a really cute idea for a first or second birthday party) and Josh asks how she knows because she hasn’t seen it yet. Josh says that they’re going to an origami owl sight (Josh mentioned that Bella runs an MLM kind of thing with her mom, so that might be the name of their business). Bella says she’s going to cry and Josh asks who’s filming with both her and her husband in the shot. Josh asks how self centered she can get because ‘she thinks the party’s for her.’ Josh again brings up the fact that she hired a planner and that she didn’t do anything to plan for it. Della wishes their daughter a happy birthday and Josh says that ‘she finally remembers who the party’s for.’ There are some Disney Princesses Bella hired to be there and Josh points them out, saying that even they think the party is too extravagant for a one year old (I think it’s too much for a one year old’s birthday party too, but I’m not gonna judge how people with that much money spend it). They have a copyrighted song in the background of the video and Josh starts screaming about how they bought the rights to use it in a video. Josh looks in the comments of this video and reads the top one that talks about how rich Bella and Dallin are and that a few balloons and a smash cake at your kid’s first birthday doesn’t make you any less of a parent and that all your baby needs is love and that the kid won’t even remember it. Josh says that Bella didn’t pin the comment and that it’s only the top comment because enough other people liked it. Josh tells everyone to stop watching people like her because the people who do this in real life and do a one year old’s birthday party to this degree is about them and not their kid because the kid won’t remember it and that if you know anyone like that in real life, you should cut them off. Josh keeps looking through the comments and stops on one saying that their daughter got the jackpot of parents. He stops on another one that says imagine S watching this and having tears of joy and laughs at it. Josh points out another comment saying that Bella wasn’t focusing on S when everyone was singing happy birthday to her and kept looking at everyone else.
Josh moves onto yet another video of what Bella and Dallin got S for her birthday. The video starts with Bella feeding S some yogurt and fruit and Josh says that people have been pointing out in the comments that S looks like Bella and he says that she doesn’t look like either of them a little bit. Of course she doesn’t look like either of them! They ‘bought’ her! Bella shows a banner of pictures from every month of S’s life so far and Josh says we already know that. Dallin tells S she’s one years old and Josh goes off that one is singular (so apparently it’s okay to correct people when they get elementary school math wrong, but it’s okay when you do it). Dallin asks S if she can hold up one finger then tells her she was born today. Josh says Bella constantly looks like she’s about to die at this point. Josh points out that Bella edited her and Dallin’s Instagram names into the video and says that’s all that matters to them. Bella says she can’t believe that she’s a year old and Josh says he can’t believe it either and that she doesn’t deserve a child. Dallin says that they didn’t know she was born (she might’ve been a premie or they might not have known they were gonna adopt). Josh brings out his vlogger voice again to say that they said they weren’t going to put her on the internet and to say that she claimed to be a mama bear. The scene cuts to Dallin in the living room, saying that they took S to a splash pad and all her friends were there. Josh tells him to stop referring to people the same age as her as her friends because apparently he thinks it’s illegal or something for a 1 year old to have friends. Dallin says that S fell asleep in the car and that Bella’s putting her down in her crib. Dallin says that the party was a few days earlier and Josh asks why they’d have a party not on her birthday. Dallin says he wanted to give S a present and says it’s from him and Bella and that they got her one of those little cars that kids can drive. Josh shakes his head and starts screaming that she can’t even walk yet. Dallin says that when S wakes up, they’ll give it to her and see how she likes it. Bella comes into the shot, holding up a set of Little People princesses, saying that S loves Little People and that she already got the castle from someone at her party, then names a few of the princesses it comes with and says it comes with a little dwarf and Josh calls her a little dwarf. Bella says she loves the dwarves and Dallin says she’s obsessed and Josh says ‘she’s gonna like that, she’s not gonna like the stupid car they got her,’ and goes on about it costing $500 (which again isn’t something I personally would spend that kind of money on, but I’m not gonna stop rich people from buying whatever they want). Dallin sets some stuff up and we see pink and purple and yellow balloons. He opens the box the car came in and says ‘it’s epic!’ Josh tells them to get it out of the box. Bella lets the dog inside while Dallin reads about some of the features the car has. Josh says he’s surprised that he’s putting it together instead of calling somebody because apparently that’s all they know how to do. Dallin husband reads the instructions and Josh says that he ‘sucks at this.’ Dallin says the doors open and Josh says it’s a car as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and all of those little cars have always had doors that open. Dallin puts the wheels on the car and says they forgot to install the motor banks. Dallin says the alignment on the car looks good. Bella kisses Dallin and Josh asks how he knows the alignment is good. The car starts up and Dallin starts playing around with it and showing some of the features, Josh laughs and says ‘made in China much.’ For some apparent reason, Josh brings up the fact that all the things that can connect to Bluetooth say ‘you are now connected to Bluetooth’ (mine either say ‘paired’ or ‘your device is connected,’ which I guess is two ways of saying the same thing he’s saying, but they don’t say that word for word), then brings up a picture of a smartwatch with a background voice that says ‘your Bluetooth device is connected successfully,’ then laughs about it. Back to Dallin, he’s trying to connect the car to his phone so they can play music for S while she rides in it and Josh says that’s crazy and points out that he’s playing his wife’s music (does Bella have songs? Like I said, I know little about them). Dallin is now sitting in the car about to test it out, then turns the car on to see how fast it can go. Josh screams that the car is loud, then says that Bella and Dallin bought themselves a toy. Dallin test runs the car through the living room and Josh laughs at the dog watching it from the couch and says his dog would eat that thing (his dog is also about five times the size of their dog, but again what do I know). Josh starts talking about a remote controlled Tesla cyber track that he found on sale for fifty percent off in some treasure hunt store and if he starts it up, Gus will try to eat it. Josh starts talking about some secondhand Power Wheels for his nieces and nephews when they come over and Gus will bite the wheels like he wants to eat them whenever he hears that sound, then he starts talking to Gus who’s napping on a dog bed behind him (I swear, he puts that dog on camera more often than the moms he makes his money laughing at put their kids on camera). Dallin says that S woke up and he’s going to get her and show her the car. He starts showing her in her crib and Josh points out the beige walls, screaming that she doesn’t get colors. Josh points out the kind of pillow Bella and Dallin put in S’s crib then makes a face and says that it’s dangerous. Dallin asks S if she wants to see her birthday present and tells her that it’s really cool. The next scene cuts to S using the car for balance and Josh says she doesn’t give a s##t and that she’s reaching for one of the balloons that landed on the car and starts screaming about the balloon. Bella tells S that it’s a car and Josh keeps screaming about the how she wants the balloon. The next scene cuts to S in the car, driving around the living room and Dallin says she loves it and Josh asks why he says those things when ‘we can see with our eyes that she clearly doesn’t care.’ S starts crying and Bella puts on some music to play through the car’s Bluetooth. Josh starts screaming, demanding to know if it’s the whole video. The video cuts to Bella holding Story on her lap while Dallin sits on the floor next to her. Bella says that they’re going to show everything else they got S for her birthday and she and Dallin hold up a couple of stuffed toys and Bella says that they’re vintage. Dallin says something about S liking something similar to one of them on a vacation and finding something similar at Hobby Lobby which of course, Josh makes a joke of. Bella says they’re going to someone’s house for the next portion of the video. Bella puts some socks on S and Dallin says they’re all wearing the same socks. Josh pauses the video and screams at him to shut up, then says he means that sincerely and smiles at the camera. Dallin says that the company that made the socks they’re wearing sponsored the video and Josh laughs and screams ‘you’ve gotta be kidding me,’ then stabs fun at the fact that they had their daughter’s first birthday video sponsored. Josh says he will never ever ever ever ever buy those socks in a million years then adds another never in there to make it clear that he’s not buying a pair. Dallin says that a year ago, they were at the friends’ house who they’re going to, celebrating a birthday and they had no idea that their daughter was being born. Josh brings out the vlogger voice once again and goes ‘you didn’t know, like, ehmahgawd!’ Dallin says it was a year ago and asks where time goes and says S is an angel. The scene cuts to Bella showing a cake she made to the camera, asking if it’s gorgeous and Josh says that that’s all they had to do and that they didn’t need a $10,000 birthday party to show everybody how rich they are. The scene cuts to a picnic table in their friends’ backyard and Josh says that’s a ‘proper way to have a one year old birthday party.’ Dallin zooms in on the cake and everyone in the backyard sings happy birthday which Josh says nonononono to and screams that they did the whole song. He says that one of their friends is ‘trying to be a singer,’ then does his laugh because what’s a video of his without the laugh, am I right? Josh then starts singing happy birthday off key on purpose and asks why they didn’t get Northwest to come sing it. The scene cuts to Dallin pushing S in a baby swing and Josh screams that the owners of the house have fake grass (which again isn’t something I’d do, but it isn’t my job to s##t on how influencers spend their money) and says that that’s super dangerous. Dallin goes down a slide and Josh asks if the house belongs to some couple from The Bachelor and brings up the fake grass again, then starts screaming that cutting grass is a righteous passage into manhood and how these people are too lazy to cut their grass then goes on about how much he loves cutting grass. Then he says that the house owners’ dog poops and the fake grass. Josh says that they only made that video so they could have a sponsorship, then calls them disgusting twice in the same breath. He reads off names of some of their travel vlogs and says their view counts are going down. He starts reading off the names of other vlogs. Josh says that S can’t have a normal life because of how much they travel. Josh again forgets simple math and call them a bunch of buttholes, then says that the mama bear thing at the beginning should make people pause and ask themselves if she really did that, then starts screaming about how they got sponsored to put their kid in socks.
I don’t know if this is even going to get verified but if it does, thank you so much to everyone who took time out of their day to read this. I know it’s a lot and it took me even longer to watch the video and take notes on it, so thank you.

I am using a throwaway account for this. There’s kind of a lot to read here so make sure you have time 😅
A little info about myself to help with context: I have been diagnosed with ADHD, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and Autism.
My current partner (24m) and I (21f) have been on and off for the last almost two years, and are coming up on a solid one year soon. He was worried our relationship would be the same as it was the first time around (on and off), so I moved in with him, his mom, and his roommate. Things were going quite well at first… but things took a little turn as time progressed.
He has started being a little violent with me. Not in the sense of actually hitting me, but he has grabbed my stomach hard enough to hurt a little, has pinned me to the bed and prevented me from getting up during arguments, and when I’ve tried getting away from him to allow us both time to cool off during/after an argument he’s blocked my way to prevent me from sitting in the living room alone. He’s also done that when I’ve tried to leave for work so I wouldn’t be late. One time he actually knocked me over because he slipped and fell while trying to run in front of me. I hit the wall and boxes that were there.
If i try to step around him when he blocks me he will either continue to try to block me, or will wrap his arms around me and push me back to the bedroom to continue to talk. I’ve explained multiple times that we sometimes just need a minute to cool off, and he doesn’t allow us to take that moment. My mother would do the same to my father, so it’s actually very triggering for me. I’ve told him about the triggers, and that if he keeps pushing the triggers he will end up being hit as a response.
I grew up with my dad hitting me, and my mom towards the end of my parents being/living together hitting him. Wanting to hit someone when I’m mad and they’re setting me off is a trauma response. I’ve explained that to everyone around me, including him, multiple times. He still does it. The last time he did it, I without thinking hit him. Not hard, but I did hit him for it. I feel bad about it, and did also apologize and explain again that it was something I couldn’t control easily.
Our relationship is rough. And don’t get me wrong I love him, but sometimes the way he acts towards me gets a little overwhelming and I get close to ending our relationship. Him putting his hands on me with ill-intent started only days after moving in with him. I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt and have tried to make it work, but I’m close to calling it quits because I’m afraid of the next time we end up in an argument and he hurts me physically. Or even worse, I end up unable to control my response to him being aggressive and end up hurting him.
I try to play a lot of it off as stress. Stress about life, money, our jobs… etc. but how much longer will that excuse make sense? Him being stressed and getting aggravated by the little things… I wonder if i should tuck my tail between my legs and move back in with my dad and break it off, or try to stick it out even though i fear him.
It takes a lot to trigger me into yelling or anything like that. I lost my insurance recently so I can’t see a therapist or psychiatrist anymore and work on these triggers. I feel I’ve grown a lot and I don’t get as easily frustrated with triggers, but it still happens.
I find it difficult to think about breaking up with him, but as time goes on, I question if it’s worth it… breaking up would be hard, especially since I live with him.
If you thought that was messed up, there’s more stuff to unravel…
I ended a two year relationship shortly before starting a relationship with my current partner. That relationship is a fun can of worms to say the least.
That ex is only EXACTLY 9 months older than me. He does a lot of stuff online and spends way too much time on his computer. That was the biggest issue in that relationship. I would try to get him to play a game with me or sit and watch a movie with him and he wouldn’t… if I did get him away from his computer, he was on his phone. He rarely showered, even if I asked him to join me in there. He would have pop bottles with pop still in them… and they would sit and sit and sit and collect more and more until I took care of them or yelled at him for the millionth time for it. If I wanted intimacy with him, it had to be on his time. Like when he was done with his computer for the night, which typically was around 4-6am. Sometimes I had to work at 8am, so that was… annoying to say the least.
I… stupidly… can’t stop thinking about him lately. I’m not sure why, but I do. He’s on my mind a lot, and I even went to sleep thinking of him and managed to have a dream about him last night. I cried myself to sleep many many times while with him because I could barely get two seconds of his attention. Yet, I want to be with him? I don’t deserve him. I’m not sunshine and rainbows when it comes to a relationship. I raise my voice, I complain, I “mother” my partners (especially when it comes to cleaning up or hygiene)… I could definitely be seen as toxic.
The first time my current partner and I split I reached out to my ex, asking to get back with him. He started dating his manager at work by that point, and respectfully declined.
My ex still almost two years later avoids me like the plague. I don’t try to visit him at work or anything, but sometimes when I’m in the area, I’ll go into his workplace and order food. Not to see him, strictly for food. If I place an order ahead of time, he will drop what he’s doing and hide in the back of the store. To me, and a few others, it feels he isn’t over me. He also asks about me to my best friend. Though after the first couples times of him doing that when he joins my friend on a game, my friend just kinda started talking about me to him. Not sure he wants to hear about me still, but my friend does it.
I want to talk to him, but I know I can’t. I don’t even feel I deserve to. My ex is still in his relationship with that manager. Lots of people could say that I should just move on, but I’ve tried. Gone a while without thinking of him, and then he pops back in like he owns my brain…
And as for my current partner… he always says things like “if we break up, I won’t be able to be with another girl. Because she won’t be you.” Which is sweet but… does that outweigh the way he treats me when upset?
Here’s another kicker. My friend who talks about me to my ex, has been my best friend since middle school. And I recently was told by them that they have a thing for me… which just adds to the stress of everything. They (feminine) have been around through all of this…
I’m lost. I need some advice. I feel like I’m going crazy and don’t know what to do. Can anyone help?

(This is an old post, but seeing the state of the sub, felt that it might be helpful)
Do you remember the days when you woke up in peace, felt that the day was gonna be shitty, but it wasn't that shitty? Do you remember the days when you didn't wake up happy and sleep sad? Do you remember anything at all? Does your mind block the past, for it seems too rosy? Do you feel defeated, dejected, rejected, worthless, dissatisfied or are you convinced that you're none of these things and want me to get straight to the point? Think about why you continued reading.
I was a NEETard, and the bad kind. What's the bad kind of NEETard? It's the one who can do it if he works hard, but can't bring himself to work hard. Isn't that everyone here? Nope. Remember one thing, if you gravitate towards something, the world doesn't have to push it towards you. You don't have to push yourself towards it. It's natural. It's organic. It's like one of your toxic love stories. NEET is not the cruel mistress that won't love you back, NEET is the damsel who needs all the time and effort in the world, but it will be yours. It most definitely will. You see, NEET is not an exam that has ever tested your intelligence. This fact is more obvious now than ever. Those perfect scores. That grind. You're not born to top NEET; you work hard and top it. Well, so why am I, a person who should be cribbing about NEET PG, crying about NEET UG, and years later at that?
Well because that's where the trouble begins. I can not impress too strongly upon you that the fact that you are not doing amazingly well might not be your fucking fault. Those fuckers at the coaching will tell you it's your fault, your parents will tell you it's your fault, hell, you'll sleep at night thinking you're a fucking mistake. I'm no motivational speaker, I've just been there. I've done that. I've had those nights, I've lived through those days. Articulate as all hell, dressed impeccably, with a demeanor that seems to exude happiness and warmth, all masking the dark pits of despair that gripped my heart because I fucking knew zoology and botany will be the end of me. Are you in the same boat?
Okay picture this, you enjoy this one thing, I'll call it gaming, I used to be into it. I still am into it. But yeah, now it doesn't give you the same oomph. Is that the word? Oomph. The world seems rushed. There's just no time? Oh you have a break? Better find something that will make you happy in 5 minutes. 5 fucking minutes. Yeah right. A 100 braindead reels of course, that's what's here today. In my time I used to make memes. 2016-17, peak fucking meme era. Heck, Facebook's whimpering death coos wasn't something I claimed to hear back then. Well, you won't get that satisfaction in breaks. Neither will you get it during weekends. Or any day for that matter. What's sucked out of you over hours will not return in minutes.
You're not losing time, you're losing your heart. Your dopamine receptors aren't fried, they're dying, and the reels should feel like chemo, why? Because it kills the rest of you as well. How many hobbies did you give up on? How many creative avenues are blocked? If your life was a fucking sinus I bet it's as though you're trying to control a sneeze for 2 fucking years that's how this shit must feel, doesn't it?
Good old days.
So I reiterate, is this you?
If it is, congratulations. It gets worse! And I congratulate you, because you have time to do something different. You know why you should trust me when I say do something different? Because I'm doing something RADICALLY different post-MBBS to the point I have to come up with rosey explanations for it. And I've seen people like myself in this course, slogging for PG, dead inside; holding onto worldly attachments by overindulging in their most basal urges. You see when you give 5.5 years to something, you really don't want to think that it was wasted. I know these people won't be happy in this profession, they don't enjoy it after all. Well, I never enjoyed it. The only thing I carry with myself after subjecting myself to this torture is the two alphabets 'Dr.' which will grace my name forever. Almost seems fair put that way. The fact that my heart was crushed in the process, and that my spirit still hasn't fully recovered is something that people won't see. That's something you won't see. Not in me, in yourself.
And for the record, if you enjoy what you're doing right now; and, I don't mean the grind - I mean the gradual process of biology. The beauty of its diversity. The wondrous nature of our existence and the processes that make it function, if all of this is a turn on for you. Then, ignore this. Why do I put this at the very end? Because this is the most important part. If you enjoy the subject, you won't fall into the same despair that others including I have. For instance, I loved Physics. I could do it for hours. Heck, I fucking loved Maths. I used to ogle over Fourier transforms. I had a great fascination for calculus. The beauty in its abstraction and the physicality of its applications; God, I sound like I can fuck Mathematics don't I? What a lunatic. I remember being told in IXth class by my friends that the way I talked about Mathematics made me sound like I wanted to fuck RD Sharma. And for the record, NO, strictly no homo. I hated Chemistry though so you can't have everything your way, so don't abandon your future for minor inconveniences please! Regardless, I realised in college that I would have been MUCH happier doing software engineering. It is just... Beautiful. It is not like love, it is love. Pure and unadulterated. And no I don't want to fuck Pythons, if that's the next suggestion.
It is very tempting to end a long post at a random thought about fucking pythons, but I believe that what tempts me even more is pointing it out separately at the end and ending the post there.
No but seriously, this post doesn't end. Let it linger with you. Think about it. When your life sounds too much like this post, don't off yourself, don't doubt your abilities, don't look at the mirror and say cringy things. Don't give up. Take up something better. Not something better for everyone around you. Something better for you. Because you matter. You may be imperfect, but you have a purpose. Don't drive away your drive for something that doesn't drive you.

I know it’s a problem with me, my friend and I are both PlayStation 5 players and have been playing sea of thieves together for a bit. For some reason, I am unable to communicate or hear other players while my friend still can. When I talk without my mic muted a notification still shows up in the top corner, indicating people can hear me, but nobody can. This also applies to my text/crew prompts. Nobody ever reacts to them, nobody hears me, and I have no idea what might he causing it.
I always have to make a party for me and my friend if we want to talk while playing. I’ve done everything that could be possibly wrong with it, I’ve changed mics, messed around with settings for a bit, watched youtube, but nothing is working. Someone told me it might be parental controls, but idek how that would even get applied to my account cause I’m not a child and don’t remember ever activating parental controls. So I’m not sure how I’d be able to disable that. Has anyone else gone through a similar experience? Can anyone help me out?

Hopping on a throw away account to see if you fine people in the anonymous internet world care to inspect my perspective and take a crack at my type. I was pretty certain I thought I knew but then I went to a trauma recovery conference over the weekend and now I am back on the questioning “Who even am I and how do I move forward?” roller coaster. Stole the questions from someone else’s post but I’d be lying if I told you I know how to link it.
Also, the author said #1 wasn’t relevant so I didn’t add it.

1. Tell me about your internal experience of yourself. What makes you, you?

I try to portray myself as happy/content without being attention grabbing. I like to be a jokester and make others laugh but that’s usually not taken well by the people I am around. Other women usually think I’m trying to be mean spirited when I think I’m being obviously facetious. So I have learned to just water myself down until I know a person can handle me. That being said a lot of times I never get to a place where it seems ok to be my happy self. So I’m often told I am quiet, hard to read, aloof, indifferent, …etc.
It seems like most of the time I try to stay out of my head and out of the present unless there’s something to make the present bearable. I dissociate a lot. Videos games, books, social media…
I have realized I am bored and disinterested in life. Any time I’ve ever tried to plan anything the disappointment of it not panning out is too painful so somewhere along the way I just stopped trying, stopped hoping, stopped dreaming. Everything just seems so futile. (Wow this is really sad and I should really get a grip but at least knowing is half the battle…am I right?)

1. You just had a really good day. Describe it. It can be a real recent example or an aspirational one.

I was given unlimited funds and time to go and have fun with. I got to go try a bunch of new things I had been wanting to experience. And my people actually wanted to and were excited about doing it all with me.

1. If someone is upset with you, what is the typical reason for it? Give a recent example.

To my knowledge people aren’t often upset with me but when they are…They tried to control me and found out really fast how I won’t play that game. Or I disagree with them and won’t change my mind.
For example :The husband and I help manage a park and recently speeding cars have endangered my kids. When this happens I told him I’ve thrown up my hands in a “WTH motion” to make them aware of what they are doing. He in turn told me to never do that again because “it’s an act of aggression and we could lose our jobs over it”. I adamantly disagreed and the thought is laughable because I’m the most peaceable nonviolent person you’ll probably ever meet. I was honestly mad right back at him because it seemed a ridiculous reason to be mad at me. Anyway he continued to be furious with me over it even though I told him I wouldn’t do it again. Said I was a child who didn’t know how to take correction. Idk just seemed like he was more angry that I didn’t agree with him than what happened.

1. What are you like when you're stressed? What are your coping mechanisms? Give an example of a recent stressful situation and how you handled it.

I hide it from myself. I honestly don’t even know I’m stressed until people repeatedly start asking me if I’m alright because I’m being nit-picky and short fused over stupid stuff that wouldn’t normally bother me like people not picking up after themselves.
If I am actually aware of it I got to get away from it by disassociating into a video game or book or finding some way to be active like going to an amusement park, movies, mini golf, bowling, etc.

1. What pushes your buttons? What makes you angry? How does your anger manifest? Can you be openly angry with others?

I’m normally extremely chill but accusing me of something I didn’t do will take me straight to red. When I get mad I loose all sense of reason. Full blown temper tantrums. If you accuse me of something and I agree that I was in fact wrong I will move mountains to make it right. I will be so incredibly sorry.
It also drives me bonkers when people ghost me. Like it’s been 3 days and you don‘t Have a free minute to respond. But I never say anything about it.

1. What’s your deepest fear? Why is that your fear?

Being the cause of someone else pain. Because I know what it feels like to hurt and to have those I care about not care that they’ve hurt me.

1. What types of memories cause you the most shame? What feelings cause you the most shame? What is it about them that causes you shame?

I compromised my beliefs for a while for a man I loved.
Other than that shame isn’t something I am aware I struggle with.

1. What is your relationship with pleasure? What gives you pleasure? Can you have pleasure when you want it, or do you have to earn it?

It gives me pleasure to be myself without restraint, but as I said earlier it often causes disappointment and disconnection. I’m not sure it’s something that can be earned.

1. What’s your relationship with authority? Think both abstractly and with specific authorities in your life, possibly your parents, boss, religious leader, doctor, or government figures? Are you an authority?

I don’t mind guidelines but if you say I have to do something I naturally want to rebel. If you say I can’t do something I will just to prove you wrong.
I don’t want to have authority over anyone either. You do you and I’ll do me. And please don’t make me responsible for you doing you. Every job I ever worked they forced me into promotions I didn’t want.
I’m a pretty responsible person who doesn’t like responsibility.

1. When your mind wanders, what are you thinking about?

I try to keep myself from thinking. When I think, I dream of what could be, and it just seems kinda pointless because it doesn’t change what is.

1. You have a big decision to make. Describe how you decide what to do.

If it doesn’t affect anyone else I’ll easily pick what I want. But if it affects someone else I usually try to get someone else to make the decision so that if it goes south it’s not my fault.

1. What’s your biggest flaw?

I don’t know how to make a goal and stick to it save my life. I have nothing I’m passionate about.

1. What makes you special? (Or, if you don't feel special, what at least makes you different from other people?)

I don’t really think I’m very different. Just a drop in the bucket of common folk. I don’t seem to value what most other’s value like fame, success, power, materialism. I just want to be happy and free to do whatever I want. And it’d be a cherry on top if people didn’t give me grief for living differently than them. It’s nothing to me how they live, how does it hurt them how I live?

1. How much of your mental energy is spent on thinking about each of the past, the present, and the future?

I honestly spend a lot of energy distracting from thinking of any of these. But I admit when I do have something to do I’m so disconnected from being present that I’m thinking about what’s next.

1. You unexpectedly find yourself with a whole weekend with no obligations, and everyone else is busy. How do you feel about it? What do you do?

Probably disappointed. I typically don’t like doing things by myself. I might go window shopping, to a movie, or scan the local events I could possibly go to just to get a sense that I’m not alone.

1. What’s your personal vibe/style/aesthetic? How cultivated vs natural is it, and how much time do you spend on it? Do you turn it on and off?

When I was at my unhealthiest I was extremely perfectionist in my appearance. I would spend an hour creating the perfect ponytail with zero hair lumps. You never saw me without make up. But I as I got healthier I let all caring for that go. I almost never wear make up and often just dress in what’s comfortable. Jeans and plain t-shirt. I don’t like to wear anything that draws attention to myself…I’ve always been that way.

1. Which of the following is the most like you? Explain. A) I know what I want, I go out and make it happen, and people won't stop me. B) I am content to be on my own and not draw too much attention to myself. C) I have to be responsible and dedicated, and I put others’ needs first.

To me each of these is half me. I know what I want but life usually hinders me from making it happen.
I am NOT content on my own but I don’t draw too much attention to myself.
I don’t aspire to be responsible and dedicated (I really don’t want anyone relying on me for anything) but I usually put others needs first.

1. Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A) I dislike stress and negative vibes, and I may try to distract myself from my problems. B) I have strong feelings, get worked up easily, and am not afraid to show it. C) I don’t like to let my feelings show; they get in the way of being efficient and logical.

This is A and C for me. Probably more A though. I hide stuff from myself so much that I don’t even know how to name what I’m feeling. But I know something is off because it shows up in my body…tight neck, shoulders, and migraines. Sometimes it takes me weeks to finally figure what the root of the unknown problem is and then once I can name it I start gaslighting myself about how it’s illogical (C) to have such feelings because I can fix the cause.

1. Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A) I look to others for feedback and guidance and am willing to be flexible when needed. B) I am always aware of how things could be better, and I’m disappointed that they are not. C) Deep down, I am afraid people won’t give me what I need unless I make it worth their while.

I think I’ve made it obvious through all my other answers that B is the most true for me. Though A and C are also both very true. A is more so if other people will be affected.

Hi everyone I am new to Reddit and honestly just needed somewhere to vent about my current situation. I am at the point where I just want to burst into tears and run away honestly. So a little bit of background.. my husband quits all of his jobs or just doesn’t show up because it isn’t “fun” because he isn’t the most responsible. I saved money and we were going to use money we had gotten from our wedding to purchase our first home. He quit his job and ended up using all of the money for his car, weed, and going out with his friends to drink. We are expecting twins and have a 5 year old. He got a job with his mom because she is a higher up at her workplace. Before we got married we had been staying at an extra home my parents had and they were only charging us for utilities. My MIL and husband are both guilt tripping me and making horrible remarks to have me and my 5 year old move into my MILs house. My parents know times are tough and said we didn’t even need to pay rent and could stay at the extra home they have. To me I thought that was incredibly generous because it’s our own space where neither of our parents live and we can save money. My husband refuses to live there because it isn’t as “bougie” as he is used to and his mom takes care of everything at her house. Him and his mom having been coming at me making me feel like I have no other option than to stay with them but his moms house has two dogs that bite and have already bitten my child and jump all over me while pregnant and have already pulled me down the stairs. My MIL said there’s no way my husband is missing work to go to baby appointments with me because it would make her look bad and so I have been going with my sister to appointments. When I go to these appointments I stay at my parents house because I have 2-3 appointments a week since I am high risk and my MIL is freaked out that I don’t go right back to her house after so she is trying to make my husbands sister take me so I have no choice but to come back to her house… my husband has also been making me feel bad about not coming back right away and even going to my appointments but the babies have to be monitored for their health and mine as I’ve been having contractions. My MIL says I am ungrateful anytime I spend time with my own family and makes me feel like I can’t be with my family and I can only see them if they come to her house to visit me.. my MIL has caused so much stress and drama in the past to the point she banned me from her house but now she wants me not to leave ever. My husband ignores me anytime I tell him we have the option of staying at my parents extra home and doesn’t care about how stressful his mom can be and that my 5 year old and I are much more comfortable in our own space not at his moms where she controls every decision I try to make and because my 5 year old is her step grandchild she’s treated so bad. I don’t know what to do at this point I feel like I’m trapped and have no choice between my husband and his mom. I miss my own siblings and parents because my husband and MIL never want me to leave. :(

So I’m considering going no contact with my mother, she was emotionally abusive growing up. I moved away in college and for the first time started healing from her but she still would try to call me EVERY day and visit frequently to try to keep control over me. When I was getting married, she tried to make the whole wedding about herself. There were many arguments and then when I had my first child, she announced the birth on Facebook and shared my hospital pictures with a bunch of people online. Also tried to run out the door with my newborn and complained to my in-laws how I couldn’t walk down the stairs postpartum. Now as a mom, I literally do not want my kid around her alone and she’s obsessed with my child. I’m finally at my breaking point with her frequent texts and demands for FaceTimes and pictures of my child. Also demanding that she won’t come to my child’s birthday party and wants a whole weekend to throw her own celebration. My husband is done with her and frankly I am too but every time I’ve tried to confront her about how she has hurt me or set a boundary she will play victim or blame it on me. I don’t think that we would be able to reconcile, looking for advice on how you cut a parent off. Did you tell them through text or call? Did you leave it general or be specific about why?

Okay, this will be dense but I'll try to make it digestable. Since the falling devil arc I've had a theory on what CSM P2 was 'about', so to speak, and I'm going to make a prediction. Maybe Hypothesis is the better word. I am going to tell you what I think Fujimoto is going for, what that means for the next few chapters, and then we can see if I'm correct.

General Thesis

CSM P2, plotwise, is about 2 groups of individuals preparing for the apocalypse, each of them trying to manipulate 2 teenagers in the process (Asa and Denji). I believe that the 'point' is that both sides (CS Church and the Government) provide ideas on how Asa and Denji are supposed to develop, and both of them are wrong. The government wants to oppress them, and Fami wants to use, uh, 'tough love'. However, neither of these things wind up being right for these 2 kids, and they discover what is actually correct for them through their interactions with each other.
In practical terms, I think the story will end with Denji and Asa teaming up to stop Death, after having foiled the plans of both the government and Fami. I also believe it will be, in so many words, a 'power of love' story where Asa and Denji's bond is how they stop all 3 antagonist groups.
That all sounds a bit on the fluffy side, but, well, here's my evidence.

How AsaDen thwarts Fami

Despite Asa and now Denji technically siding with Fami, on a thematic level they are opposed to her, specifically when they are put together. The Aquarium arc was a plan by Fami to starve both of them out and make them slaves. It failed because of the consequences of Denji and Asa bonding. Because Denji reached out to her, she gained the confidence to make a daring strategy to escape.
Then, take the Falling Devil arc. It was a plan from Fami to starve out Asa and make her a slave. It was thwarted largely as a result of Asa and Denji bonding. Them having a heart to heart allows them to reverse many of the effects of the falling devil; Asa encouraging Denji is how he came up with the chainsaw motorcycle to run away from attacks. And, of course, the weird pseudo-chainsawman told Denji that he needs to keep Asa away from the Justice devil: he stops the plan by playing hero for his love interest.
None of this was explicitly done with antagonism towards Fami, but it's really interesting to see how their bond with one another continues to be a thorn in her side. So, here's a question: What would happen if their bond thwarted Fami's current plan? As things are, Fami has both of them in on her "Have Yoru fight CSM" plan. But consider the possibility that Asa having a heart to heart with Denji, maybe even during the fight, and realizing that this isn't what's right for him, and turning against Fami. That would follow the trend, feel in character for both of them, and would make things even more chaotic, possibly leading to both Fami's squad and the government going after the two, forcing them into hiding. Or something to that effect.

Mom and Dad are Both Abusive

Going back to the two groups trying to control them, both Fami and Yoshida are more or less asserting their view on how Denji ought be treated. Yoshida is akin to a controlling parent figure, keeping Denji taken care of but removing him from the thing that he's truly passionate about: being Chainsaw Man. Conversely, Fami created the Chainsaw Man church, agrandizing Chainsaw Man as a concept, tempting Denji into becoming him, all in the hopes that he'd burn out all at once and become a husk she could use.
If we are to assume that the story is saying both are wrong, then we could take the story's thesis as "Denji must form a healthy relationship with being Chainsaw Man", rather than wholly embrace it or outright reject it. So, the question is: how does Asa relate to this journey of his?
Well, for one thing, she loves Chainsaw Man. Now Pochita, but Denji as a superhero. Part of what she admires about him is his heroism, so she is certainly capable of encouraging that side of him, against what Yoshida might want. But her love is focused on his wellbeing. Her motivations right now are explicitly that she wants Denji to not have to get hurt one the battlefield so she can live happily ever after with him. While that is in line with Fami's current plan, it IS at odds with the views of the CSM church. And if it's his wellbeing she's after, it's not hard to see that bringing her in conflict with Fami.
And, moreover, she's an anchor for a lot of Denji's best impulses. What's the biggest reason he doesn't want to join the devils? Cause of Asa. Granted, it was also because of Yoru's kiss, but that kiss meant something to him because of the time he spent with Asa.

What am I expecting from CSM moving forward?

Take the following things to chew on:

1. Sometime during this arc, Asa will refuse to keep fighting CSM and will make enemies of both Yoshida and Fami, leading to a complex and hectic action sequence.
   
2. Asa and Denji will wind up foiling the plans of both groups, leaving the world without much plan for the death devil. Sort of an "All hope is lost, why didn't you idiots listen to us?" moment.
   
3. IDK if they both live, I hope they do, but the death devil is stopped with their teamwork. Or, idk, something to that effect.
   

All in all, I don't think it's too unlikely. I think all of it is, at least, within what one might expect of Fujimoto, and isn't so concrete that it doesn't leave him room to surprise us. We know from part 1 that he tends to, in spite of his subversive writing style, still carry through on obvious dunks: Denji defeating Makima being a big example. He just tends to do them in unique ways.
I am hoping that it roughly follows this framework, cause I think it would be a neat story, but this could be me finding patterns in the clouds - or I could be right about the themes but he goes in an entirely different plot direction.
Thoughts?

Hi, I have a dilemma and I would like to get an objective perspective from those who don’t have any skin in the game. Please hold your personal judgements it’s not about those things and there’s nothing anybody could say that I haven’t already put on myself. I’m sure this sounds miniuscule to most people but hear me out anyways. I used to live in another state about 300 miles away from my hometown where my family lives. I returned in 2017 with a 3 month old as my boyfriend/childs father of 6 years started to become a whole other level of controlling and had put his hands on me. I returned back to my family with a 3 month old and later that year started to pursue a second (or should I say “useful”) degree in nursing. I graduated in early 2019 and started my new career in May and shortly after bought myself a lightly used 2017 Lincoln mkz. Now as a hospital RN, typical schedule is 12 hours a shift x 3 days a week and I mostly worked nights. During the year of 2021, I had my car stolen and damaged by my teenage nephew when I was on vacation and a few years following that his mother, my older sister (who also and has always lived with our parents and was going on like a decade of drug use alongside years of having a suspended and then revoked license) had stolen one of my keys 2 days prior to a premeditated plan to take my car in the morning while I was sleeping to go harass her boyfriend at his house in a bad area of town and then linked up with some lady drug dealer, told her it was HER car, and went into Walmart to steal some bottles probably to exchange for drugs while leaving my keys with this low life stranger to be the “getaway” driver. At this point she had been gone for at least a day and I had no idea where she was or where my car was. Long story short, she got arrested stealing the bottles and was locked up for like a day and told the police she didn’t know where my car was cause she left it with this stranger and didn’t know where she lived or anything about her. With all this going down I had recently transitioned to the ICU and had just finished orientation so dealing with a new complex world of nursing on my own while my car had been stolen and missing. I got a call from my mom one night saying the police had discovered my stolen car after pulling this drug dealer over who had also had her kids in the car and removed my sons car seat and another i kept for my niece. When I got my car back while on the outside the inside was a horror. There were chocolate stains in my backseat, rips and tears in my leather, powdered makeup stains all over my car floor and worst of all, one of my center consoles that was big enough to store things like your phone but also had a flap cover with a button if you wanted to close it, well the flap had been literally TORN right off. In its place was an ugly bumpy space just left in my center console and to add the cherry on top of the cake, my sister shoved a bag of coke deep down inside of the crevice where the flap would have been attached. Since then, she has bothered 0% to provide any restitution although she said she would give me free food stamps in exchange for the damage but never actually gave me anything she just buys snacks for my child here and there. Fast forward to 2023, I lost my job for having to call in for the first 4 hours enough times due to personal problems: constant interruptions while sleeping and vision problems albeit I was being transparent with my employer via emails and was still working full time after asking her to switch me to part time 4 months prior to get these things figured out but she only switched me after asking her again a week before the new manager forced to take on our unit terminated me. Story for another time. But I had been trying my best to set my self up for success so that I wouldn’t have any issues getting to work on time. I worked the exact same schedule on weekends for a 1.5 year but for some reason I would come outside and have my car blocked in ALL the time. At the start of my last work weekend, the night before, I moved my car precisely in place so that no one was behind me and I knew I could just pull out and I was determined to be on time to work. Everything was going smoothly that night but when I went outside my dad had moved my car for some reason and my sisters dumb boyfriend who we’d been trying to get out of our house for 2 years now who would use my dads spare truck to get to work parked behind me. I believe he did this to be malicious because he would park at the end of the driveway when no one was in front of him so HE wouldn’t have to be blocked in and I complained to my parents that he had no right over me and my mom because our jobs were more important; she being a teacher, me as a nurse, and he worked at a gas station (not saying it’s not important but not a good enough reason for him to claim his own parking spot in my parents driveway). He took his sweet precious time moving the truck albeit I was in a frenzy. This caused me to be late when I wouldn’t have been and being terminated following these types of events I formed a complex about being blocked in. 9 months prior to me losing my job I got approved for a house loan and I found a really nice house and asked my parents if they could loan me half of the down payment. My mom refused saying she didn’t want anything to do with it and didn’t want to be tied to it. So know that I did attempt to remove my self from the situation to have my own everything and not worry about these stragglers but I do not think my parents want me and my son to move out, my dad told me he didn’t want us in the past when I was looking for an apartment for a quick solution. Anyways this is your provide the context before I delve into my current dilemma. So after losing my job last year I took the time to work on my mental health and physical health and rekindle some relationships in my social life as I was so embarrassed and ashamed of everything I was going through I self isolated myself. I now am at the point where I’m ready to return back to work, but I have tirelessly even before I was ready, explained to my parents that I can NOT be locked in by other people’s cars anymore. In a sad twist of events my sisters boyfriend died last year in October likely from a heroin overdose in our home (no one knew he was using again except my sister of course who was covering for him so he didn’t get kicked out). Anyways, this did something to my sister that nothing else had done before and thankfully ( with the exception of marijuana) she is finally done with the drugs and also started working after almost 7 years of unemployment. Two days after her boyfriend/daughter’s dad died my mom paid for her to get her license reinstated. She’s been doing good considering the circumstances and works a like a 6 - 8 hour shift on weekends now as a hostess. Now with me recovering from my issues and ready to get back into my profession, I have pleaded with my parents to let me park in the spot where her boyfriend used to park and where my sister now parks. I parked there one day after again being frustrated of being blocked in when I had some errands to run we and while my sister was lost going in a rant saying it’s her spot and she’s been parking there for a year blah blah my mom at first on her own as her INITIAL response told her it wasn’t her spot. I allowed my mom to have my spare keys in case my dad needed to get his truck out with me parked behind him (he’s going on 20 years of retirement so just runs little errands here and there). Now like. I said my mom took the stance that it was nobody’s spot, yet after giving her my keys she continues to move my car to be behind her and all of a sudden is trying to convince me that it’s the better spot and I can be behind her but it is the summer and as a teacher she is off of work so it’s fine now but come August when she returns it will be an issue as I will be working dayshifts exclusively and while I will leave before her, as a nurse I only work 3 days while she’ll work 5 and I’ll also be coming home before her as she stays at work till like 9 or 10 pm. In my mind, if my sister is only working part time on weekends and my moms gone all day, there is no reason why she can’t park on the other side of the driveway in front of my mom so I can park behind my dad who won’t be going anywhere by the time I get home around 8 pm. But my mom now has suddenly taken my sisters side that she’s beeeb parking there for a “year”. I reminded her she had only had her license since October and my mom says well she was driving even before on a suspended license. So I ask her, “so you’re going to reward the one who does things illegally?” She ignores me going on and on about why I can’t park there after all this time and how it’s never been a problem before yet it has been a prior problem cause I would complain about her boyfriend taking his own spot. My parents provide the vehicle for my sister and pay her car insurance, although she now has a job. My car is self provided and paid for and I pay my own car insurance. I am merely trying to avoid running into the same issues in the past when I return to work in a few weeks. Because of what happened in the past I am paranoid and developed a complex. But my mom says, “well your sister is the same and doesn’t like change”
I just want an objective opinion cause now I’m questioning myself. Am I asking for too much? Am I being selfish? Am I wrong?
I just feel like all our lives my sister has been handed everything. Since we were young she’d put on a big show if she didn’t get her way. Thus, my parents paid for her to go to private school. Drove and picked her up from school and she never got what I’d say good grades except here and there on certain subjects. While, I, was put in public school my whole life. Took the bus to and from school since I was 8 and got good grades. My dad says it’s because they knew I could “handle it”. Plus, I went to college after high school, moved out, and when I became responsible for someone else, took action to pursue a profession so that I could support myself and my son independently with or without a partner. My sister eventually went to college and got a degree in optical tech but lost her job due to falling asleep on the job cause of drug use. That was when her period of 6 years of unemployment followed.
It’s long so anyone who has the patience to read this novel, I appreciate you so much, I really am just looking for some objective opinions. If most people say I’m wrong, I’ll leave it alone but I need a consensus of what the general population thinks.
Please refrain from any nasty comments or judgments; just looking for objective insight.
Thank you for your time.

I removed a few questions for time and because I couldn't think of answers.
Tell me about your internal experience of yourself. What makes you, you?
I'm using this spot to first acknowledge I'm medicated for a few different things, and mental health nonsense played a big part in past mistyping/frustration/obsession over type. This is also the hardest one for me to answer for a range of reasons.
I think a lot, I worry a lot, I have a lot of imaginary conversations, I can get lost in my latest "inner universe" for hours. People think I'm nice and I'd like to be, but it doesn't feel valid because most of it is a kind of "peacekeeping", or else trying to feel equal to someone who seems morally superior.
If someone is upset with you, what is the typical reason for it? Give a recent example.
Imo, it's likely because of things I didn't do, or because I flaked on some responsibility or did it half-assed. I try to avoid that; people being upset with me freaks me out and I'm guilty of thinking people are mad at me when they aren't.
What are you like when you're stressed? What are your coping mechanisms? Give an example of a recent stressful situation and how you handled it.
I have a tendency to just avoid things that stress me out. I shut down in a way - distracting myself - and it can look like I don't care even when I do. Lots of self-medicating with food and to a much lesser extent, other substances. Alternatively, depending on the kind of stress, I freak out, panic, cry when I'm alone, and get easily frustrated. For a time I had two main responses to those kinds of feelings: either I want to run around and hug everyone so I can feel better by making others feel better, or I want to fight someone; I know I'll get hurt but that's the point lmao.
What pushes your buttons? What makes you angry? How does your anger manifest? Can you be openly angry with others?
Generally, I'm not a very angry person. I had a period of it many years ago where I had some kind of breakdown and felt like I was having every personal stressor pushed regularly, the end result being lots of screaming, lots of fighting, and some throwing things. I recall one point of being so upset and physically "wound up" that it actually hurt.
Thankfully nowadays I might just get irritated or frustrated, usually at people or things in my way, or at not being listened to. I don't think I could really be openly angry to someone I wasn't close to.
What’s your deepest fear? Why is that your fear?
This is an incredibly embarrassing question with an incredibly stupid answer.
Idk what I would have answered before, but within the last 10y or so, I've found that my greatest fear is learning some "truth" about life, existence and/or the universe that breaks me. Either something that makes it impossible to justify living, or that I can't get away from without completely changing how I think and act to the point where I've completely lost any semblance of what I recognize as "myself" and have to completely reorient myself in every way.
What types of memories cause you the most shame? What feelings cause you the most shame? What is it about them that causes you shame?
I have a massive amount of shame in my thinking; I really do feel like it drives me, but event hen I can say it's not enough, because I'm still a loser. Currently, the memories that cause me the most shame are of some loss of control, from trauma-dumping online to blowing up at family - the latter is thankfully behind me.
But if I'm really honest, comparison causes me the most shame. I am, regularly, disgusted with myself when I compare to others, and it's downright enraging to look at how I've "failed". I pedestalize people regularly, iirc that derives from shame.
What is your relationship with pleasure? What gives you pleasure? Can you have pleasure when you want it, or do you have to earn it?
I know my answer is the wrong one. I know I should see pleasure as something that must be earned, but in practice, when I try to be structured and disciplined, I know who made those rules and standards for myself (it's me), and I know they can't be trusted. I think pleasure I think food first, and then maybe physical comfort/luxury. I like and want those things - I can do without, sure, but I'm willing to work for things I want.
What’s your relationship with authority? Think both abstractly and with specific authorities in your life, possibly your parents, boss, religious leader, doctor, or government figures? Are you an authority?
Historically, I've been pretty deferent to authority by nature. With age I've relaxed a bit, but there's still a bit of unease there. I could never be an authority, I feel bad about telling people what to do.
When your mind wanders, what are you thinking about?
Either things I have to/want to do, the task at hand, or my latest little world in my head (think fictional characters, I wish I was creative so I could put it down even though it's cringe, esp at my age). Discussions or "hashing out" problems or things that caught my attention are also a strong possibility, obsessions notwithstanding.
What’s your biggest flaw?
Never ask that question to someone whose default self-image is "useless sack of crap with no positive qualities". But if I had to be reasonable and narrow it down, selfishness/ self-centeredness.
What makes you special? (Or, if you don't feel special, what at least makes you different from other people?)
I talk weird. I pick up skills quickly (at least at work), and people seem to like me despite my doing nothing to earn it. However if I let some obsession/fixation take over, people think I'm fucking insane (which usually, in the moment, I am).
How much of your mental energy is spent on thinking about each of the past, the present, and the future?
The past and present are on pretty similar footing, I don't think about the future too hard (assuming we aren't counting the near future, like this evening or this weekend. I hear "thinking about the future" I hear "what's your 5y plan?")
You unexpectedly find yourself with a whole weekend with no obligations, and everyone else is busy. How do you feel about it? What do you do?
On some level, I'd probably feel a bit guilty, like I should be doing something "productive" even if it's catching up on chores. In practice I'll likely spend most of the day in front of my laptop, unless there's something in particular I wanted to do/attend.
What’s your personal vibe/style/aesthetic? How cultivated vs natural is it, and how much time do you spend on it? Do you turn it on and off?
I don't think I really have one, especially as right now I just wear whatever because of my weight/health/energy levels. I'd love to have an elegant, polished look with an alt flair; best I can do atm is something "classic" or "basic", whatever makes me look sort of presentable.
I grew up with a weird sort of ethos put on clothing, and have literal complexes about some things. I have posted about them and gotten truly bemused reactions, which is reassuring I guess. Said ethos amounted to your clothes determine your status and worth, the standard is universal through time and everyone can tell. Left to my own devices though, I wish I could cultivate an aesthetic I felt at home in.
Which of the following is the most like you? Explain. A) I know what I want, I go out and make it happen, and people won't stop me. B) I am content to be on my own and not draw too much attention to myself. C) I have to be responsible and dedicated, and I put others’ needs first.
B, if only by elimination
Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A) I dislike stress and negative vibes, and I may try to distract myself from my problems. B) I have strong feelings, get worked up easily, and am not afraid to show it. C) I don’t like to let my feelings show; they get in the way of being efficient and logical.
A, followed closely by B
Which of the following is most like you? Explain. A) I look to others for feedback and guidance and am willing to be flexible when needed. B) I am always aware of how things could be better, and I’m disappointed that they are not. C) Deep down, I am afraid people won’t give me what I need unless I make it worth their while.
A, for sure.

I (19F) have two close friends, A & L (both 20F), from our sorority at a small liberal arts school. We quickly became inseparable, despite my initial belief that trios never work out. Our friendship felt like the best thing ever, and having them as best friends was life-changing for me.
About a month ago, A called me crying because her roommate could no longer afford on-campus housing. I live 45 minutes away from campus and had been eager to move out from my controlling parents' home, so I offered to be A’s roommate. This was a big decision since my parents are very controlling and would likely cause a lot of drama if they knew I planned to move out. Nonetheless, I felt ready to take the step. A suggested we get a house near campus, and although I wanted to live on campus, I agreed to look at houses with her. I cautioned her not to cancel her current housing until we were sure about our plans, but she canceled it anyway, insisting it would be more expensive to wait.
We went on our first house tour, and A’s mom questioned why my parents weren’t there. I hadn’t told them to avoid the inevitable drama. A didn’t fully grasp my financial situation—unlike her, I don’t get financial support from my parents and have to fund everything myself. We agreed to move in late July to cut down costs. I have money set aside, enough for three months rent and a deposit. However, if all of this was coming out of my own pocket, I wanted to be smart with how I used it, thus the plan to move in July.
Three weeks ago, A scheduled house tours without informing me. When I couldn't make one, she got upset, questioning why I let her cancel her housing if my parents weren't on board. I reminded her that I’d advised against it and preferred on-campus housing. She threatened to find another roommate if I couldn’t sort things out by the end of the month, a change from our initial plan.
Hurt and under pressure, I snapped, explaining the differences in our situations. While A’s parents support her financially, mine would cut me off, as in not speak to me, for moving out. I knew that they could be convinced if we moved out later rather than sooner. But, I knew with only two weeks left in May, they would never accept it. I later apologized, but A said my words were hurtful due to her own traumatic past. I acknowledged her pain but felt she didn’t understand mine. A decided she no longer wanted to live with me and said she would find another roommate. I felt isolated as both A and L sided against me. L later apologized for getting involved, but A continued to post passive-aggressive messages on social media, implying I was at fault.
The situation has made me feel deeply betrayed by both A and L. Despite numerous apologies, A hasn't accepted them and has spread the conflict within our social circle. I'm at a loss about how to move forward and whether to try mending the friendship.
So, AITAH?

Like in the title, my mother not only stole but used half of the money given to me as a gift for graduating. How much money did I receive? I received 6.5k pesos (110.35 USD) which to me is genuinely a lot. I've never held such amount so I was hesitant, but I still happily accepted. I even said my thanks to my aunt and my mum's boyfriend. But, she never fully gave it to me. She held onto it. So.. I never really had the chance to spend it. She gave me 500 pesos which.. didn't really last me a day considering how pricey it is to live in my area now. So.. yea..
A few days ago, my mother and I had a fight; the reason? I(17F) went outside at 6:30 to walk my friend home whom hanged out with me at our apartment. She, with sourness in her voice, said that I looked like a prostitute with what I was wearing and was basically asking for it. I was wearing an oversized t-shirt, arm warmers, a skirt that was only an inch above my knee, thigh high socks, and boots. I ignored her and continued to walk my friend home. My friends home isn't too far and was only a kilometre and a half away. When I got back home I remained silent, trying to hold back my anger and bottle it all up before I do something stupid. But, annoyingly, my mum kept beratting me and provoking me to madness. She called me incredibly lazy for being wasting my time doing stupid makeup instead of doing something productive like sweep the floor or do the dishes. I already did those. Obviously, I still remained silent. She then bitterly told me to clean the vanity area where I left a few of my makeup still lying around. I made the mistake of making her wait because I was really angry and it felt like if I moved a single bit, I would explode. She kept repeatedly telling me to clean it with her tone growing more and more sour. Annoyed, I angrily cleaned it. And when she noticed I was being loud she called me out about it. I lost control and talked back to her.. big fucking mistake. It only made her more angry. And then, we both had a fight. I was so fucking pissed that I tried to threaten her by towering over her and slightly pushing her away because she was really getting on my nerves. I know I'm at fault for pushing her, but I wasn't thinking straight. After that, she then tried to call for our neighbour whom we aren't even that close to. She tried to call her in as a "witness"... But a witness to what? It genuinely blew my mind that she was willing to involve a totally peaceful citizen into our personal life just to prove what????
After the fight I locked myself in the bathroom, just crying and breaking down for 2 whole hours. The situation made me relapse.. it was bad enough that I almost considered taking my own life then and there. I was so tired. Exhausted. Was walking my friend home so bad? I wasn't wearing anything revealing.. so why did she call me a prostitute?
For the next 4 days I wasn't eating properly nor taking care of my hygiene. I was just rotting in bed. She never once spoke to me either. All I did was sleep, rot in bed, eat junk, stay up, and sleep til the afternoon. I wanted to go out. I needed to go out and get some fresh air. But I couldn't. I couldn't afford to go outside. So, I tried to look for the envelope that had my money in it that she hid. I looked EVERYWHERE. twice, thrice, even four times. Nothing. Until I found the envelope. I was so fucking happy— until I saw the inside... It was fucking empty.
I don't know what to do now. She either hid it or used it. But I know the kind of person she is. She's addicted to money and it shows. She would buy useless bullshit every now and then but shit that would keep her child, me, healthy. she barely bought proper fucking food but has the money to buy clothes and bags??? And whenever she does buy food she only buys instant noodles and shit. She barely cooks and when she does it'd taste like shit. She gives no effort in taking care of me.. and when I mention it she'll always pull the "I sacrificed so much for you" card on me. What she does is barely the minimum of being a parent. I don't even fucking know anymore...

I grew up nonreligiously which helps me view this from a different standpoint but also makes me biased. I am not an atheist, but here’s my take on religion and how it is most effective as a concept not as being the truth to our world.
Various religious stories/traditions/beliefs have been created in different regions and accepted by the masses a long time ago because it has always been in our nature to want an almost parental like figure to be in our lives. No matter how strong, old, independent, or happy you are, we all have this instinct that makes us want someone always with us that will look over us and wholeheartedly love us. I think that especially in older centuries when life was more difficult and parents died earlier leaving their children (they could be adults by now) (the lifestyles back then resulted in young adults leaving their families earliemore often than nowadays); especially back then, the way that life was would fuel this desire of a loving, caring figure to rely on. This could be why religion is so popular and accepted as a truth. It became an idea adults and children could rely on.
Of course it was when people realized how their beliefs can alter their actions, that people created churches and assigned them with rules and traditions to follow that go with their religion. It wasn’t necessarily meant to be used as a controlling force over groups of people, but definitely has been used that way.
But whether or not Eve ate the apple, or if Buddha really sat under a fig tree to reach Nirvana, or if Jesus is the son of God according to Christianity or if he’s just a messenger of God according to Islam; whether or not any of these are true, these religions hold power only when people believe in them, not when they are true. It’s hard to know the truth, and such ancient history is hard to truly understand.
When I have friends explain to me why they believe their religion is the truth or how they don’t believe how another religion explains evolution or the plight of their God, I can’t help but think that if I were to chose to become religious I would chose the religion which best reflects the way I want to live my life, not which I believe to be the most historically accurate.
Because in my opinion, religion acts as a guidebook almost, a blueprint or instruction manual on how to live life. It shows us how to be better people and live better lives. It provides us a comfort against the concept of death and the afterlife (the universal fear of the human species). It’s something that you HAVE to believe in for it to have power because at the end of the day, a person’s religious beliefs affect only themselves. A person’s relationship with God/Allah/Brahman is only known by the person themselves, and is there to provide emotional comfort and security.
For me, my idea/perception of God/deity is unique to myself, but could also align and be the same as the one in Christianity, Islam, or Hinduism etc. Sometimes I believe more in the power of the universe and not just one single figure. But even more importantly, if I am wrong or others are wrong, what matters most is that it helps me get through my days in peace while doing good for others. Religions have been disproved and proved countless times, but go strong because the power lies in the act of believing.

LONG POST AHEAD. The most commonly recognized years for zillennial are based around PEW and are 95-98. That’s what I’m basing this off of. 95-96 being on the millennial side, 97-98 on the Z side. It could be pushed in both directions an additional year or two, and the purpose of this post isn’t to gatekeep but to provide insight into the (us-centric) zillennial experience. A lot of this may be subjective though I’ve tried my best to note when that’s likely. Please feel free to add anything I’ve forgotten or gotten wrong.
Early years- (1995-2003)
During this period we ranged from infancy to mid-childhood. We watched shows such as Blues Clues, Barney, Franklin, Arthur, Dragon Tales, teletubbies, Dora, Maggie and The Ferocious Beast, Rugrats, Hey Arnold, The Wild Thornberries, Lizzie Mcquire, Catdog, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Goosebumps, Rocket Power, Even Stevens, SpongeBob, etc. During the Web 1.0 and dial-up era we mostly played computer games like Pajama Sam, Freddy Fish, Spy Fox, and on flash sites like Neopets, Nick and Disney. We listened to radio Disney, and a lot of us probably tried to win contests (I won tadpoles and they kept dying. They’d send new ones and they’d always die after growing legs lol…), we also remember the sea monkey and ant farm craze and probably accidentally dumped some out. We started elementary school at some point within these years, and the millennial side (95 and early-mid 96) were already in school by 9/11. Late 96, 97 and 98 were in preschool or of the age to be. We played with toys such as Beanie Babies- and are the very last to potentially remember the craze-, Barbie’s, GI Joes, Nerf, Polly Pocket, Bratz (I personally hated these), various baby dolls, Easy Bake Ovens, Shrink-a-dinks, Y2K toys such as Furbys, poo-chis, Robobaby, etc. If we played any video games it was probably on a game boy, game cube or ps2. If they had one, our parents cellphones probably had antennas lol (mine did) and we used landlines. We went to blockbuster and got VHS tapes then DVDs and remember both. Our parents used physical maps when we went on vacation. We listened to a blend of cassette tapes and cds. Malls, bowling allies, skating rinks, and places like Discovery Zone were very common family activities and they were slam packed- in stark contrast with how these places started to look in our mid childhood.
Mid-childhood- 2003/2004-2006
All of us were in elementary school together in these years. We watched some of the same shows as above and new ones for older kids like Drake and Josh, Neds Declassified, Unfabulous, Zoey 101, Phil of the Future, That’s So Raven, Suite Life, etc. We got rid of dial-up and entered the Web 2.0 era. We played computer games, played on our Gameboy Advance SPs, PSPs, DS, Xbox 360, Gamecube, PS2 and 3, and on websites such as miniclip, obscure open world online games (maybe that was just me lol), and later Webkinz. We played with toys like Furreal Friends, tamagotchis (they had a big resurgence in the mid-00s), moon shoes, razor scooters, pogo sticks, Heelie’s, RipSticks bop-it, etc. (Some of these were in our early childhood too). We listened to music on CD players and MP3s, then later iPods. We went to blockbuster for DVDs then at the tail end we ordered DVDs by mail from Netflix. On demand was popular as well. Skateboarding had a resurgence in popularity during this era so we probably tried to learn that, later on it would be long boarding. We printed out Mapquest directions for our parents before trips. We discovered YouTube and watched videos like Charlie the Unicorn and Fred. We learned about the Iraq war in real time, we were all very concerned about the hole in the ozone layer, we remember hurricane Katrina, the tsunami of ‘04, and those of us who lived in/visited nyc remember seeing the rubble from 9/11. We were exposed to a lot of trash tv (especially those with older siblings like me) like Maury, the simple life, Dr.Phil, Jackass, SouthPark, etc. We called our friends on our landlines and talked for hours (my friends and I did at least) and there were still always kids playing in the neighborhood in a way that wasn’t so common just a few years later. We explored the internet with awe and curiosity, for better or worse.
Late childhood-early teen years 2006/7-2010-
All of us had at least one full year of middle school in this era, and the millennial side started HS (1995 babies in 2009, and late 95-mid 96 babies in 2010) During this period we watched icarly, Hannah Montana, wizards, and started watching more mature content as well, such as degrassi, skins, weeds, one tree hill, breaking bad, vampire diaries, how I met your mother, etc. just as examples. We had cable, on demand and DVDs we ordered from Netflix, and some families began streaming in this time. We listened to music on iPods when on our own, and to the radio and CDs in the car and when with others. A lot of us got more into pop culture in this period- we loved Miley, the jobros, t-swift, Coldplay, Akon, Pink, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Red Hot CP, Green Day, Artic Monkeys, Rhianna, Chris Brown (yikes), Beyonce, Kanye, I could go on forever. It was the recession and we were old enough to understand but only really care if it affected us or our loved ones because we were hormonal tweens/teens who honestly lived a much simpler life than tweens/teens now due to lack of social media (trust me, MySpace doesn’t count). Otherwise, we remember the recession for playing with friends in all of the abandoned under-construction neighborhoods (they were everywhere and no one could really stop you from going into the unfinished houses 🙃 ) During this period we likely got our first flip phones. I got mine for my 12th bday in ‘08 and it was tiny. Later I got a razr, a keyboard AND keypad phone (it slid both ways and got stolen when I was in 8th lol), and then a knockoff blackberry in 2010. This was very normal for the time to have gone through this progression with phones. 95-96 (and maybe 97) likely used MySpace in middle school (I did, 07-09), we used AIM to talk to friends, but still talked to them on our landlines for hours because all of our phones were pay-as-you-go without unlimited texts or minutes. We made prank phone calls, played ZAP, took stupid pictures on our digital cameras, made even more stupid videos/skits on our camcorders, smoked smarties, spent time online on the most random and obscure websites, discovered porn and watched 2 girls 1 cup, read Harry Potter if we hadn’t already, obsessed over Twilight (we were the target age demographic for it at its peak), wore LiveStrong bracelets, saw the rise of 80s nostalgia with shutter shades in every aisle, we secretly bought 5 hour energies, Red Bull and monsters at gas stations with our friends and thought we were bad, ate takis, either were a, or knew scene kids (rawr), went to the malls that were already in the midst of dying, got dropped off at theme parks (only if you lived near one ofc), roamed freely with neighbor friends but noticed a lot of the younger kids weren’t doing the same (completely subjective- it was my experience), people said “gay” and the R word as a derogative all the time, everyone wore either Abercrombie, hollister, Delia’s, OR pac sun, hot topic, Spencer’s. Everyone was into being “random” and everything was “awk”. We hung out with friends at shopping centers doing absolutely nothing and toward the later end of this era… stole half smoked cigs from ash trays (maybe my friends and I were just losers tho), we largely got our facebooks at the end of this era or right at the start of the next. Some of us (like me) started experimenting with alcohol and weed.
Main teens years- early adulthood (2010-2015/16)
We all shared at least one year of high school together (when CO 2013 were seniors). A lot changed during this era as you all know. When we were finishing middle school and starting high school, pretty much no one had an iPhone. Most of us had knock-off (or real for the rich kids) blackberries during this period and they didn’t connect to the internet. We got better phone plans though, so we largely no longer used landlines for calls. We all got Facebook and used Facebook messenger constantly. MySpace and AIM disappeared from relevancy at the very beginning of this era as Facebook was just where it was at (poke). We updated our status every few hours, “Anycatch is MY SISTER IS SO ANNOYING UGH” iykyk. Our families replaced our CRT monitors and everything looked “fake” on tv for a while (soap opera effect). Girls wore skinny jeans, and the “indie/hipster” movement came in hot. Everyone girl a “La Lune” shirt, endless floral dresses, and wore scarfs, and every guy dressed like Mac Miller (stussy) or dressed preppy. Sagging skinny jeans were in for guys too. A lot of people had a fancy and expensive digital camera they took everywhere and everything was posted onto Facebook- which we still exclusively used from desktops. We took shitty pictures in front of graffiti walls and train tracks. Because of shows like Skins and movies like Project X, and it being the electropop era, people were very into house parties and everything that came with them (drinking drugs sex). At my school there was one somewhere almost every weekend, but I went to a massive school with over 3000 kids in a well off area (but the student body was diverse regardless). We knew how to party and you wouldn’t find people on their phones when socializing throughout all of high school. It wasn’t something we’d ever been distracted by before so it didn’t happen very quickly for us. Longboarding was very popular, and neighborhood streets with hills were often taken over by large groups of kids longboarding. Teens still smoked cigs and camel crushes were popular. Because there weren’t a million makeup tutorials, people had TERRIBLE make up just caking up their face (got better towards the end of this era and originated from the last). Around 2012, iPhones became a more common sight around campus and by late 2013, almost everyone had one or an android- but they were never out during school because they’d be taken away and it just wasn’t a thing to have them out. Instagram started to get popular around 2012 but exploded in 2013. We posted “indie/artsy” pictures and didn’t even care much if no one liked them because it didn’t matter at first. There weren’t any algorithms, reels, or ads, just our friend’s pictures. We were really the guinea pigs for social media and because we didn’t care we posted pictures of ourselves drinking and smoking weed. Snap chat came in around my junior year (2012-2013), but wasn’t huge until my senior year. I never used it. YIK Yak (and this was truly a zillennial app- everyone born in the mid-late 90s experienced the terrible YIK Yak) and vine were very popular for a while in this period and then disappeared just as fast. We played on the Wii, the PS3 and PS4, Xbox 360 and Xbox one. We were all in a rush to get our licenses, and sneaking out was super common. We still spent most internet time on desktops, and websites like StumbleUpon were a lot of fun. YouTube became easier to post on, and there were no ads on it. When tumblr came along it blew up and we all “became artsy”. We watched shows like Breaking Bad, GOT, Weeds, American Horror Story, Girls, The Walking Dead, Orange is the New Black, Black Mirror, etc. We listened to Coldplay, Vampire Weekend, Lady Gaga, Kid Cudi, Mumford and Sons, Tame Impala, Slightly Stoopid, Mac Miller, Rhianna, Beyonce, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, The Black Keys, Imagine Dragons, Drake, Justin Bieber (but we hated on him), Post Malone, Lil Wayne, Maroon 5, Kesha, Adele, etc. on our iPod touches and on pandora. We quickly saw the world change and thought the rapid changing of tech (in terms of phone styles, tv systems, etc.) would never end- we were wrong.

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AS ALWAYS, PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS THREAD CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE ARCHON QUEST.

Please do not continue down this thread if you have not finished the archon quest and/or story spoilers significantly impact your experience.

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Road Not Taken, Anime Megathread

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Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act VI, Bedtime Story

You arrive at the Adventurers' Guild in Sumeru. Katheryne seems to have a very tricky commission for your docket, you need to track down a missing man.

Cold Case Commission

• Atossa: Every time we talked, it always seemed to be around dusk. Time always passed by really slowly. Even when it felt like we'd been talking for hours, the sun would still be at the same position in the sky.
  • Paimon: Well, time always seems to pass slower when you're relaxed, right?
    • MC: Based on what we've learned, this is definitely not a regular missing person's case. What Atossa just told us about time could be the key to unraveling this whole mystery.

Memories That Should Not Exist

That mysterious voice MC heard in their siblings memory, the one who called himself a Sinner, who is he?

• Dain: Let me ask you this; do you believe your sibling to have betrayed you?
  • MC: I want to have faith in them.
    • Dain: I sense hesitation in your words. After all, you still haven't figured out the whole truth of what happened. There's still hope for the two of you to reconcile. Irreparable damage has not yet been done. The Sinner you wish to know about, his situation is different. He and his fellow sinners have long betrayed me, and long betrayed their nation. His name is Vedrfolnir, "The Visionary." I'm loath to admit it, but he is also my kin. My older brother.

What happened between the two of you?

• Dain: There were five of them, the Five Sinners of Khaenri'ah. One day, I shall have my vengeance.

1. "The Wise" Hroptatyr
2. "The Visionary" Vedrfolnir: Dain's brother, Vedrfolnir, is the voice of the Sinner who inspired Chlothar to create the Abyss Order.
3. "Gold" Rhinedottir: Rhinedottir is the one who created Albedo
4. "The Foul" Surtalogi: Surtalogi is Skirk's master
5. "Rächer of Solnari" Rerir

• MC: If that's true, then the stone slates we found in that ruin in Fontaine, the ones that outlined Fontaine's prophecy, that was likely Vedrfolnir's doing as well.
• Dain: They were once people of great esteem in Khaenri'ah, those who carried the hopes of the nation. They were the best of their peers, outstanding in their respective fields. The six of us, together should have been the ones to prevent the disaster, the ones to stop the Vinster King from continuing to rock the foundation of the world. Yet, deep within, the five of them craved something more. They could not resist the call of the Abyss, and divided among themselves a power that could destroy the world. So they became Sinners, but also transcendent beings, each in possession of world-shattering power. When the cataclysm occurred, not one of them stood up in defense of their nation, not one came forward to prevent the tragedy, and for that, they shall never have my forgiveness

Dain what have you been looking into all this time?

• Dain: I've continued to investigate the questions surrounding the Loom of Fate. It's been quite some time since the initial operation was launched. By retrieving the eye of the first Field Tiller, we were able to stop part of their plan from coming to fruition; However, it's obvious that was just some kind of technical experiment. The eye was integral to their plan, yet somehow, despite failing to obtain it, they've skipped the experimental phase and found some other way to keep moving forward. Our most pressing concern is to determine the purpose of the Loom of Fate. From there, we'll be able to deduce the Abyss Order's true objective. Based on the intel I've gathered so far, I suspect the Loom of Fate is related to the Ley Lines in some way. Traveler, you were able to observe your sibling's memories last time. I believe that was due to the fact that the Ley Lines in that area were unstable. My recent investigation has shown that Abyss Order activity in a particular area is usually followed by a series of issues with the Ley Lines.

---

• Dain: There appear to be certain memories in my mind that weren't there before. Memories of the missing villager. It wasn't a dream. They're memories; memories that suddenly appeared in my mind after I woke up. I'm certain I've never met this person before. I remember handing him the eye of the first Field Tiller. It appears he possesses the ability to "implant" memories into the minds of others.
• Dain: Whatever the Abyss Order is planning, an important truth has been revealed to us this morning. Their goal is still to obtain the eye of the first Field Tiller. I am the only person who knows its location. Perhaps implanting that particular memory was an attempt to interfere with my mind in some way. I don't believe the Abyss Order is capable of altering reality like that just yet; However, considering their single-minded pursuit of the eye, I would say an equal level of caution is in order on our part. We must check whether the eye is still in our possession.

---

• Dain: Just as I suspected; The false memories were a trap. The Abyss Order just wanted to follow us here. Now that they're in the vicinity, we should have a chance to see-- Argh...! Can you feel that? There's been a disturbance in the Ley Lines. It must be the work of the Abyss.
  • Paimon: Wow, you must be really sensitive to that sort of thing. Paimon doesn't feel it.
    • Dain: You two, use that mechanism over there and leave this place. The Abyss Order is putting something in motion. If you return to Vimara Village, I suspect you might finally have the opportunity to locate the missing villager. Just think of it as a way to divide and conquer.
    • MC: Alright. (Dain does have a point. But, something still feels off. What am I missing?)
• Dain: I knew going along with your trap would be the only way to meet with you face to face.
  • Abyss Sibling: You risked your safety and that of the eye. That's quite the gamble, Dainsleif. But I believe that I am the one walking into a trap laid by the Twilight Sword.
• Dain: So you came here all on your own? What about those followers of yours?
  • Abyss Sibling: When the Twilight Sword is prepared for battle, any army I could send would only be marching to their doom. Better that I face you alone. I know you must have a lot to say, but if it's a conversation you want, you'll have to defeat me first.

---

World-Order Narration

• Paimon: We're in someone else's memory, just like how you entered your sibling's memory last time! That would also explain why we seem to be at a time before he went missing, it's a memory, after all. If the missing person is someone who only exists in people's memories, then we're finally on the same turf! But, Bahram just said he saw him leave the village with someone? Where should we go look for him.
• MC: Let's go through what we know so far.
  • We pretty much figured out that the missing villager has the ability to implant memories into the minds of others. Lets try to figure out a bit more about him using what we know of his ability. Does it maybe leave a trace that would somehow give him away?
    • MC: (Implanting memories into the minds of others must be an imperfect process. There's no way the new memories could perfectly blend in with the old ones. There has to be some kind of tell)
• Paimon: All this time, and the sky hasn't changed a bit. That must mean time isn't passing! That's the tell of the fake memories! The implanted memories are basically taking place outside the regular twenty-four hours of the day. If the memories included the regular passage of time, it would be easy for people to tell that something was off. Like, there could be overlap or something. People might start to wonder why they remember doing two different things at the same time of day. That's why he makes sure the memories take place at a specific moment in time, rather than over a period of time.
  • MC: If we consider this in conjunction with what we already know, then the question of whose memory this is seems to have an obvious answer.
    • Paimon: This is definitely Atossa's memory!

---

• Atossa: So, you see, Granny Jehiet was a mercenary when she was younger. She just talks like that out of habit. She's not trying to scare the children on purpose, hehe. Oh, there I go again... always talking about my own things. Do you, maybe, have anything you want to share? Um... It's okay if you don't. You could also just Talk about what you think of me?
  • Caribert: I think you're an incredibly strong and thoughtful young woman. You'll meet many amazing people and live a very happy life. You won't miss someone like me...
    • Atossa: Are those your friends over there?
• MC: We finally found him. But why does he look kind of familiar?
  • Caribert: Friends? I guess you could say that. It must have taken them a lot of effort to find me. So I should see what they need. I'm sorry, Atossa. We'll have to continue this conversation another time.
    • Atossa : Another time, yeah! Okay! I'll head back to the village, then. Talk to you some other time!
• Caribert : It's nice to see you. I believe this is the first time we've met.
  • MC: You're Caribert Alberich.
    • Caribert: You know me? That's quite the surprise. I don't believe I've met you before. Ah, I see. It was the memory, wasn't it? Your sibling's memory. You saw the me from back then. This is Atossa's memory. I came here to say goodbye to her. But, I suppose I'll just leave her a message instead. Let's find somewhere else to talk.

---

• Caribert: In the new world, they bade farewell to the shrouded sun. You see? We're both still here. In the end, he whispered softly.
• Paimon: Hey, look at those Hilichurls over there.
  • MC: They seem strangely calm?
    • Paimon: Weren't they acting super agitated just a little while ago? Why are they so calm all of a sudden?

---

• MC: What is this place?
  • Caribert: I suppose you could call it the realm of my consciousness. I'm someone who no longer exists in the real world, after all... as you well know. Ah, it's nothing. I still have enough strength to play the part of a good host. I've always hoped that I'd get the chance to talk to you like this, and now, the time has finally arrived.

What exactly happened to you?

• Caribert: Extreme sorrow and pain. Hope and regret coursing through your veins and a degree of Abyssal power that defies comprehension. Father told me that once I possessed all those elements, I would become the Loom of Fate. But, despite his intentions for me, I never truly became the Loom of Fate. I was merely used as a means for its "construction." In truth, I died the moment I set everything in motion. The "person" you see before you now is nothing but a remnant of consciousness leftover within the Loom of Fate.
  • MC: (Caribert is dead. That's why he no longer exists outside of people's memories.)

What is the Loom of Fate

• Caribert: The Loom of Fate is a device capable of weaving Ley Lines. In its primitive form, it can only be used to create and implant memories. But, as more of it is completed, its power becomes stronger and stronger. Until finally, it has the power to weave real Ley Lines of its own. Once fully completed, the moment it gains the power to weave Ley Lines, it loses the lower-level ability to influence memories; but it also becomes a tool that can change the entire world.
  • MC: That was the source of your ability to implant memories?
    • Caribert : Yes. I have the ability to control the Loom in its semi-completed form. I suppose you could think of it as a form of compensation. After all, its existence cost me my life.
    • MC: (So the memories that suddenly appeared in Dain's mind were implanted by Caribert through the half-finished Loom of Fate. I'm still lost as to why he went so far as to "introduce" himself to all the residents of Vimara Village.)

Why did you implant memories of yourself

• Caribert: I was wrong to implant those memories. I just wanted them to feel like I once existed in this world. As if I had a chance at life.
  • MC: (So that's why. I would have never guessed. But is there any kind of meaning to this? Does only existing in people's memories really count as living?)
    • Caribert: I know what you must be thinking. Why would I do something so meaningless. But I just couldn't accept it. I had to know what it would be like if I had my own life — what kind of person I would be, what other people would think of me. What would it be like if I could live alongside them — no cataclysm, no curse, just a quiet life in a peaceful village. I was curious, so I selfishly tried to have my own life. Even if that meant piecing together the version of myself that could have been, one memory at a time. I know it sounds stupid. After all my life ended a long time ago. Any chance at living was stripped away from me when I was eight years old, my consciousness left to mature in an illusory world of nothingness. Even the form you see before you is nothing but an invention based on my father's appearance — an imagined version of what I would look like if I had had the chance to grow up.
• MC: You know everyone is looking for you.
  • Caribert: I know but, there's nothin I can do to make them find me. If I could exist in the real world, I would return without a second thought and surprise them with the suddenness of it all. But that's not possible for me.
    • MC: As I understand it, even though you only appeared in their memories, they all believe you once lived among them. Well, now that I've found you, let's continue this conversation some other time. Dain might still need my help.
• Caribert: Captain Dainsleif, Twilight Sword? No need to meet up with him. Things should already be settled on his end. As someone who could only exist in people's memories, the fact that I'm able to talk to you in my consciousness like this can only mean one thing; The Loom of Fate has already been completed.
• Caribert: No need to worry about Captain Dainsleif. The only reason he lost the eye was because I happened to guess exactly what he was planning. Captain Dainsleif has had the eye inside his body this whole time. His plan was to lure the Abyss Order to a false location, capitalizing on their pursuit of the eye in order to have the chance to confront Abyss Sibling. He would then hand the eye to you, and tell you to take it away from that location. That way, Captain Dainsleif could accomplish his own goal and ensure the safety of the eye all at once — a very thorough plan.
  • MC: But Dain never handed me the eye
• Caribert: That's right. Because, in his mind, he had given it to you already. Before you two entered that false location. That was when I implanted the memory of him handing you the eye.
  • MC: (So when Dain froze up back then, it was because a false memory was being implanted in his mind)
• Caribert: Given the tense situation at that time, Captain Dainsleif failed to notice anything out of the ordinary and took that memory to be real. I'm sorry, but I needed the Loom of Fate to be completed, and to do that, we had to retrieve the eye.
  • MC: (So, Dain had the eye this whole time until the Abyss Order took it away. I'm not sure there's anything we could have done.)

Now that the Loom of Fate is complete what are you planning to do with it?

• Caribert: I promise I'm not trying to conceal anything from you; I truly have no idea what the Abyss Sibling is planning. Teyvat's Ley Line system is deeply entrenched in the planet**. Creating new Ley Lines can neither "replace" nor "extend" the ones that already exist.** In any case, I had my own use for the Loom of Fate, and my goal has been achieved. After my father, Clothar Albierch, used the power of the Abyss to restore consciousness to my Hilichurl form, I suffered from an indescribable level of mental anguish. To comfort me, my father told me a story. That this was a fairytale world, where I had to take on the form of a little monster. That story managed to dispel my fears even if just for a moment. My goal was simple — to use the Loom of Fate in its near-completed form, when its ability to create memories was at its strongest to implant a specific memory into the minds of the Hilichurls. In that memory, I would tell them a story, just like my father did for me. It was a story of fairy tales and love. But, more than anything, it was the story of us.
  • MC: (So the thing that caused the Hilichurls to calm down back then was Caribert's story. That was the only thing he wanted. He had a device as powerful as the Loom of Fate at his disposal, and all he wanted to do with it was to offer the Hilichurls a moment of comfort and peace.)
• Caribert: I can't change the world, not when I lost the very right to exist within it. Implanting those memories, that was the most worthwhile thing I could offer. All that's left of my existence is a wisp of residual consciousness tied to the Loom of Fate. In truth, that trace of my consciousness should have dissipated long ago. My goal was the one thing that allowed me to hold on all this time. But now, the bedtime story is finished, and it's finally time to rest.

---

Talk to your sibling :')

• Well how about a conversation? The chance to just stop and talk like this is certainly not easy to come by, wouldn't you agree?
  • MC: I almost can't believe it's real.
• That battle earlier was tough. The one against Dain, I mean. I didn't expect that after everything, he would still hesitate to raise his sword against me. Were it not for that, perhaps I'd still be no match for the Twilight Sword. Even after five hundred years.
  • MC: What exactly are you planning? What are you going to do with the Loom of Fate?
• The Loom of Fate, huh, I still haven't found a way to utilize it to its full potential, but there's still time before the Heavenly Principles "awaken." For five hundred years now, ever since the cataclysm in Khaenri'ah, the Heavenly Principles has been asleep. There's been no sign of activity. Not long ago, you witnessed the Hydro Archon destroy her divine throne. Such a flagrant disregard for the "rules," and still Celestia took no action. I suppose that's proof enough of the Heavenly Principles' situation. However, the Heavenly Principles will awaken. We just don't know when that will be, or what might trigger it.
  • MC: You really hate the Heavenly Principles, don't you?
• You could say that. Just look at Caribert. He was so pure and single-minded. The space we now find ourselves is a perfect representation of who he was — quiet and peaceful. Even as a Hilichurl, seeing the terrible sight within the mirror wasn't enough to taint his spirit. He brought comfort to the people of this world... even though he was denied the very right to be a part of it. Ask yourself this; Who was it that deprived him of that right to exist? Of course, that's only one example. My feelings about the Heavenly Principles are too complicated to explain in just a few words.
  • MC: There's so much I wanted to ask you, but for some reason, I'm not interested in asking those questions right now. 🙃 There's just one thing I have to ask, one thing I could never understand. Why can't we continue our journey together?
• At the end of my journey, I arrived at a place known as "The Sea of Flowers at the End." Do you remember? A long time ago, when we traveled between worlds together. You told me you wanted to find a place in the universe where that one flower was in full bloom. To have a place like that suddenly appear before me. Well, would you think of that as a coincidence?
  • MC: You mean...
• I miss you. But as this war continues to rage, and as I continue to seek that final answer. I don't even know how to face myself sometimes, let alone my own sibling.
  • MC: What's going on?
    • This space has lost its tether. I doubt it'll be able to exist much longer. In fact, aside from our inability to physically interact with each other, there's something else you should know about this space. With Caribert gone, we won't be able to remember anything that happened here. Everything in this space will be wiped from existence including all memory of our reunion.

---

• Paimon: Paimon woke up a little earlier than you, so Paimon will fill you in. The villagers said they saw us sleeping near the village yesterday. They couldn't wake us up no matter how hard they tried, so they decided to just bring us back here. Oh, and Dain came by just now. It looked like he was injured. He just made sure that you were alright and left.
• Paimon: We were in that memory, and we saw that guy you called Caribert. He was the missing villager we'd been trying to find, right? And after that Paimon doesn't remember what happened.
  • MC: Caribert and I talked for a while. He told me about the Loom of Fate. After that, I can't seem to remember. (Maybe I'm just tired? I feel like something else happened, but why can't I remember? I'm not sure why but, it almost feels like I lost something)
• Bahram: The village organized another search party yesterday. It didn't feel right to leave all the searching to the adventurers. Suddenly this one guy said it all came back to him. According to him, one day he was passing by this one tree outside the village, and saw our missing villager. His parents came a little later and they all left together. After that, we all started to feel like that really is what happened.
  • MC: (So, that's how Caribert said his goodbyes. That was the last memory he gave them.)
• Bahram: Oh, and we also remembered his name — Caribert. Now, that's not a name you hear everyday. Would've been helpful if we remembered it sooner.
• MC: Caribert is gone. The Loom of Fate is now complete and no one else will try to change the villagers' memories.
  • Paimon: Paimon wonders how Atossa's doing. Maybe we should go check on her? If she hasn't "remembered" like everyone else, we can tell her what happened. Hey, Atossa! How's it going?
• Atossa: I was part of the search party, so I remember what happened to Caribert now. I just can't believe I forgot something so important.
  • MC: Maybe he wanted you to forget him. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to forget him.
    • Atossa: He always seemed to appear out of nowhere, and now he left just as quickly. If Caribert wants me to forget about the time we spent together, then I'm willing to try. I relied on him for a lot of things. But, I'm sure with enough time, even the deepest of attachments can fade.

Group Photo From an Unknown Time (1); Group Photo From an Unknown Time (2) A precious group photo that has surpassed the rules somehow, being taken by some unknown person using unknown means in a space that should no longer exist.
The writing in the picture translates to- "You must get along with each other, the two of you."

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Achievements

• The Town Where Only I Am Missing: Investigate "someone who only exists in people's memories.
• Long-Awaited Moment: Without your knowledge, Dainsleif crossed swords with your sibling..
• The Proof of Existence: Enter Caribert's "realm of consciousness."
• Bedtime Story: Complete "Bedtime Story."

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Posts

• Teyvat and the nine realms
• Analysing the Letter found on top of Favonius HQ (Spoilers for Hidden Strife.)
• Ruin Machine Codes are likely based off Norse Creatures Real-life references
• The 3 Wells of Yggdrasil and Ragnarok
• khaenri'ah actually had a god.
• Etymology of Khaenriah, and how they are demonized in Sumeru
• ll Roads lead to Apollo - or a protracted guess at who the Sinner is using some of Genshin's real world inspirations.
• The energy systems of Khaenri'ah: counterfeit gold
• Pierro True Identity Followup
• Sinner = Fenrir = Third = Naberius?
• Why Rhinedottir isn't the antagonist. (Part 3 - Der Ring des Nibelungen)
• The meaning of the 8-pointed star
• My theory on Surtalogi
• Something about the crimson moon in Arlecchinos ult that I want to share.

Search the Sinner Post Flair
Search the Khaenri'ah Post flair
​
Congrats to u/Willthecrane-> I personally think that the sinner is Vedrfolnir the visionary.

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Boughkeeper Megathread
We Will Be Reunited Megathread
Requiem of the Echoing Depths Megathread
Caribert Megathread
what is the loom of fate? by u/roozevelt

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