Me (22F) living in Delhi is way willing to end my 5 year relationship with my bf (27M) living in Mumbai. The reason being we have been in a long distance relationship since the beginning and he had some past which was kinda dark to me as I never had a boyfriend before him because I am old school and wanted to date someone I could marry. So, there were a lot of issues like once he texted his ex saying ex's father died during covid and when I asked screenshots he said its deleted but I somehow overcame that (this was 3 years back). Back in present he doesn't put any efforts like literally this time in 2024 I managed to fly to Mumbai for our 5th year anniversary and stayed there for 20 days for a training of mine lying to my parents. So we never kinda celebrated valentine and this made me upset every valentine and we had fights every year this year it was good as I was in same city he surprised me on Valentine and our 5th Anniversary (bf gf wali). But the thing is he never put efforts in making me feel special its not that I crave for some expensive gifts infact he got a job in 2022 only the year I started my Articleship so before that I never even asked him to pay bills or anything whenever we met like once or twice a year. He never appreciates my gifts, surprises, never says sorry for even abusing me until I force him to (he abuses like once a month kinda almost), never asks to stop crying he simply says rori hai roti reh, keeps me blocked like 15 days a month I try to reach him through app calls, emails he ignores and then returns after 2 days saying ab sudhr gyi ki nhi and when I say please dont do this to me he says normal baat kr wrna nikal. I am the one who is trying to survive this relationship since very long but nhi hota ab more over when I went there for 20 days he said me in a public place chup baith wrna aisa thapar mrunga that evening when we met I was crying very badly infront of him but he didnt asked me once to be quiet (akele rona is normal to me so I have become even okay with that now I dont even tell him that I am crying). Once we had a big fight I was so scared of losing him that took a flight to Mumbai that very night because it was 5 days since when I was blocked even his friends with whom I used to share earlier said better leave but I am not able to there is nothing which can make me say yes I should be with him but I feel like suiciding (which I had attempted 3-4 times like cutting my veins going a railway station where my mother confronted me even lied to her). I dont have a friend circle only 2 friends who only say leave him but my mind and old school thinking only say that I should be there. I have never thought of dating someone so there is no other boy I don't even have a male friend. I have a crucial final exam in Nov this year which is like my final stage of a professional degree he even says you cant work beyond 6 pm in job (my dream job being Investment banking where there are no time limits). After all this I was okay with each and everything just asked him only put this much effort that talk to me with love he doesn't talks to me, ignores me, blocks me if I say anything when I ask him are you dating someone else as I only goes to talk to him at night rest I am involved in studies he says I am not cheating you.
Please suggest should I breakup or still there is some hope where I can make an effort.
tl;dr: I just asked him only put this much effort that talk to me with love he doesn't talks to me, ignores me, blocks me if I say anything.

I am a hair stylist of 10 years. Looking for a direct lender immediately. I have a paper trail a mile long of faithful payment history. I signed a terrible contract for a line of credit for my first time and it ruined my life in a lot of ways. I’ve had to file bankruptcy (which is discharged) but now I can not get back on my feet properly without tools and equipment for work. I don’t have friends or family that are in the position to help. And a bank or any lender will not lend due to the bankruptcy. My credit score is 767, I worked so hard for that score. I have no idea where to turn. I’ve offered my equipment as collateral. I have a paid off car I’ve tried a title loan. They won’t give me enough. I’ve offered paying back with interest. I don’t know where to start. I was told I could have some luck with p2p lending here. I’m so nervous I will just get my time wasted (because I can’t afford to waste any time) So I’m hoping there are still genuine and straight forward people out there. Any guidance please? I am an open book. Happy to give any documents needed. I’m highly skilled, work hard, and determined to get back on the road to feeling like a human again.

I'm agonizing and hope it's ok to post this. I received an offer for my dream type of job, but it's across the country. After declining the offer, they offered me a 15k recruitment incentive, but I'd have to stay for 4 years. This would be my second cross-country move in my lifetime. It pays $6 more, and the cost-of-living is same/worse to my current situation. I don't mind my current job (HR) and it's not terrible. I have an awesome supervisor. I have a great life here with a stable partner, great sports community, and supportive "family." My partner is open to moving next year, but not now, and def doesn't want to live there for 4 years.
When I visited the govt job recently, I enjoyed it somewhat, but it didn't feel totally right. It's hard to see myself living in the city, when I'm kind of a small-town person.
I feel like moving cross-country again is starting over, but it's finally the door to getting into permanent with the government in the profession I actually want (gardening vs. fees) I've worked 3 seasonal jobs with the NPS and now at a non-profit. I don't see a future for myself in HR (I think) but I'm quite good at it.
I think eventually I'd like to go back to the west coast (where I currently live). I feel like I'm choosing between a good personal life that I've worked very hard for vs. a potentially stronger future for myself.
I've thought about negotiating a shorter term with a smaller incentive. Is that possible? I also just signed my current lease, so everything is up in the air. Thanks again for any insight. I know how hard it is to get a permanent job and I don't want to regret passing it up. At the same time, I don't want to regret not taking the job and wondering "what if." Part of me wants to keep applying to wait for the "right thing" - but I'm scared that won't ever happen. Thanks again...

Script Gallery along with my terms, please read before recording!
Link to Part 1!
Roughly 1300 words!
(Please notify about questions/concerns.)
(The listener is laying in bed, recovering from their blood loss. Dylan is sitting in a chair near them, as if he’s been waiting for them to wake up. There is a clock ticking in the background.)
Dylan:
“Looks like someone’s finally decided to wake up.”
Dylan:
“Believe it or not, it’s only been a few hours.”
Dylan:
“That’s right, no coma, no permanent damage, nothing. If I thought you were in a coma, I would’ve taken you to a hospital.”
Dylan:
“The closest hospital is roughly an hour away on foot, and I don’t have a car, so, I guess you’re quite lucky.”
Dylan:
“For the average human it would be two hours. Being a vampire has its advantages.”
Dylan:
“How did you sleep?”
Dylan:
“You were out cold, it had me a little worried. Eight hours passed and you hadn’t moved an inch..”
Dylan:
“I’ve just been sitting here, watching you. It’s not like I had any other preoccupations.”
Dylan:
“I’m sure you didn’t know that your resting breath rate is around 16 breaths per minute. That’s not all! Your resting heart rate is 80 beats per minute..!”
Dylan:
“There wasn’t much else to do.. I suppose I could’ve taken a little walk..”
Dylan:
“The evening sky does look beautiful.. Perhaps I can take you out for a stroll one day..?”
Dylan:
“One day, but not today, no, no.. You’d try running off, not that you would get very far.”
Dylan:
“I noticed you were wearing a necklace, I took it off for you so it wouldn't get damaged in your sleep. No need to thank me.”
Dylan:
“Oh.? What's with that look, it’s not important to you, is it?”
Dylan:
“Now that I know you have an attachment to it, I don’t think I want to give it back to you..”
Dylan:
“Is it some kind of heirloom? Perhaps a Valentine's day gift from a special someone?”
Dylan:
“Oh, I'm only teasing. It doesn’t really matter who you got it from; you won’t be seeing them again.”
Dylan:
“It’s on the table, just over there.”
(The listener attempts to get up.)
Dylan:
“Ah-ah, stay down. I don’t want you getting dizzy and falling. Then we’d have another problem on our hands.”
(Sigh.)
Dylan:
“You’re a rather quiet one. Are you contemplating something, like your mortality? Or are you just shy?”
Dylan:
“There’s no need to be shy, after all, I don’t bite.”
Dylan:
“Hm?”
(Evil chuckle.)
Dylan:
“Lying through my teeth, it’s what I do best.”
Dylan:
“On a serious note, come on, talk to me, it wouldn't hurt you to. You’re in good hands, so just relax and let yourself talk.”
(Sigh.)
Dylan:
“Do you need anything to eat, or drink? Is that why you’re so quiet?”
Dylan:
“Well, I can go get food tomorrow, but I do have some water. Hold on, I’ll be right back.”
Dylan:
“Before I go..”
(He grabs the necklace.)
Dylan:
“Just in case you try to run off, I’m taking this with me.”
Dylan:
“Stay there.”
(Fade to black, only a few minutes have passed when Dylan reenters the room, he sets the necklace down on the table, and places the water next to the listener.)
Dylan:
“Here’s your drink.”
Dylan:
“How are you feeling?”
Dylan:
“Disoriented? I’m sorry. You’ll be back to normal in a few hours, I’m sure of it.”
Dylan:
“I’m very sure, and considering my status as a vampire and former doctor, I’d trust my opinion on blood loss recovery if I were you.”
Dylan:
“I've seen many people recover from a bite, it barely hurts them in the long run.”
Dylan:
“Well, maybe many is an overstatement..”
Dylan:
“I may not have seen many people recover from a bite, but I’ve seen countless people recover from general blood loss completely unrelated to vampirism.”
Dylan:
“You’d be surprised by the stupid things people do that land them in a hospital bed.”
Dylan:
“There was a time where we had some very obviously drunk college students come in because of, and I quote, ‘bloodletting gone wrong’.”
Dylan:
“Yes, bloodletting. The historical medical practice.”
Dylan:
“I still remember my exact thoughts when they said that.. Bloodletting gone wrong? How could it possibly go right?”
Dylan:
“Don’t give me that look. That happened before I became a vampire.”
Dylan:
“No, I wasn’t born one.”
Dylan:
“Anyway, where was I..? Oh, right.. Most vampires, myself included, don’t bother to keep tabs on their victims after they feed, it’s just far too risky. Besides, there’s not much of a point. Why stick around to see how one little victim fares after a bite when it’s much safer to simply move on?”
Dylan:
“Well, there’s hunters out there. For all I know, you could be one of them, but you wouldn’t dare to harm me..”
Dylan:
“Right?”
Dylan:
“It doesn't look to me like you have any weapons..”
Dylan:
“As long as you aren’t planning to maim me with your bare hands, I should be fine.”
Dylan:
“Come to think of it, you're free right now, you have been since right before you passed out.”
Dylan:
“I untied you before I put you to bed, were you too woozy to notice?”
Dylan:
“Don’t-”
Dylan:
“...be getting any ideas.”
Dylan:
“I may have untied you, but that doesn’t mean I’m letting you leave.”
Dylan:
“Moving on, now that you’re clearly awake enough to speak.. Talk to me.”
Dylan:
“I don’t think you understand, I’m not giving you a choice.”
(He whispers into the listener’s ear.)
Dylan:
“You shouldn’t be so stubborn with someone who has your life in their hands.”
Dylan:
“Talk.”
Dylan:
“I have an idea. Let’s take baby steps, we’ll start with a yes-or-no question..”
Dylan:
“Are you a vampire hunter?”
Dylan:
“I'm not going to hurt you if you are, it’s just something I need to know in order to proceed.”
Dylan:
“Well, hunter or not, it's nice to have company around, someone to talk to, a reliable source of blood.. Another thing, if someone comes all the way up here and tries to kill me, I could always use your life as a bargaining chip for them to leave me alone.”
Dylan:
“Oh, don’t cry. I wouldn’t actually kill you. I already like you too much.”
Dylan:
“As I was saying, it doesn’t seem like you have any weapons, but you could always be hiding something up your sleeve..”
Dylan:
“So, look at me and tell me the truth.”
Dylan:
“Cat got your tongue?”
Dylan:
“Is it about that necklace?”
(He picks up the necklace from the table nearby.)
Dylan:
“It looks like there’s some compartments to this thing, I wonder what’s inside..”
Dylan:
“Oh? Apprehensive much? What’s the problem? I’m not going to break it.”
Dylan:
“It looks harmless enough.. I’m a little shocked that there’s no hidden knives, no tiny containers of holy water, nothing.”
Dylan:
“This seems like it’s made of some fine metals, where did you get this from?”
Dylan:
“‘A friend.’ Hm.”
(He sets the necklace back down.)
Dylan:
“You don’t seem like a hunter, and if you are, I’m assuming you’re brand new, because clearly you aren’t very good at your job.”
Dylan:
“If you were any good, I would be dead, and you would be miles away by now.”
Dylan:
“Aw, it’s ok.. If you weren’t such an uncoordinated hunter, I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you right now.”
Dylan:
“Still insisting you aren’t a hunter? Alright, whatever you say..”
Dylan:
“You seem to be rather interested in that clock over there.. We’re in no hurry. Now that I think about it, maybe I should take it down and hang it up in my room instead..”
(Sigh.)
Dylan:
“Looks like it’s almost 7:00 AM..”
Dylan:
“If I opened those curtains over there, the sun would probably blind me.. Which means.. it's probably time for bed.”
Dylan:
“I go to bed at sunrise, and you’ll be adopting that schedule as well.”
Dylan:
“How will I ever get the chance to talk to you if you’re always sound asleep while I’m awake?”
Dylan:
“You’ll get used to it in due time.”
Dylan:
“I'll be locking your door, so don't even think about sneaking off.”
Dylan:
“I.”
Dylan:
“Hear.”
Dylan:
“Everything.”
Dylan:
“I’ll get you some food at sundown.”
Dylan:
“Sweet dreams..”
(Dylan walks out and shuts the door behind him.)
(Part 2 end.)

I experienced an intense porn addiction throughout early high school, leading me down a path of unspeakable deviance and despair. I knew my lifestyle was wrong, yet breaking free seemed impossible. I felt isolated and extremely outcast, and became convinced that if there was a hell, I was destined for it. No one knew what I was going through, because I forced myself to put a smile on all the time, hiding this area of my life as much as possible. Though I was raised Christian, for most of my life God was merely a concept to me; I didn't understand His Love, but a part of me longed to know if He truly existed. In my quest for truth, I prayed fervently, yearning for a sign of His presence. I remember crying out to God every day for years, yet largely feeling nothing. I vividly recall one desperate prayer, where I said something along the lines of "God, if you're real, show me. I want to serve you but don't know if you're real. Grant me you're healing, strength, and joy, and I will serve you the rest of my life. When you reveal yourself to me may the song Above All play so that I know it's you." Months passed with no response, and I began to lose hope, contemplating abandoning my faith altogether.
Some time goes by, and I attend a church service on Sunday. The church had just finished a 20-day prayer fast, and had a visiting speaker who delivered a message I will never forget. He opened up with saying how there is someone here who has been sinning in sexually deviant ways, and how they have felt condemned to hell and isolated, having no one to confide in but God, and that God has heard their cry, and is giving this person strength. Before he was even finished saying the words "God is giving this person strength," I felt a strength so real I can't begin to describe. I knew it wasn't a physical strength (though it felt like I could do any physical thing in that moment), but a spiritual one. Instantly my whole being felt alive, and all my typical doubts and questioning suddenly became impossible in that moment. The speaker proceeded to say that God had also seen my swear, and that I should not make vows to God (the day before, for the first time I vowed to God I would never again give in to my depravity, and broke the vow that same night). After saying these things (and other things that made me know I was the one he was speaking of) he called people up for prayer. The only time I ever went up for prayer was if my parents forced me, so I reasoned that if I went up this time on my own volition, my parents might think he was talking about me. In light of this, even though I felt called to go up, I decided not to, and asked God in my heart to find another way to reach me. After the speaker prayed for others that went up, he paused for a moment with an expression that seemed taken aback, and then proceeded to ask everyone to pray for the person next to them. My dad was sitting next to me, but because my dad didn't know my situation, I wondered what we would speak over me. He whispered a prayer over me in words not of English, yet somehow I felt I knew the language, only could not comprehend it in that moment. After everyone was done praying, the church moves on to praise and worship, and the first song that plays is Above All. As soon as the song started playing, I instantly recalled my previous prayer months ago where I had requested this. Throughout this experience, not only did my body feel radiant with spiritual strength, but also Love. Love was what I dominantly felt, but it didn't feel like any love I was used to, but one that was unconditional, and indescribably deepemystical. No love (or any feeling for that matter) I had felt up to this point came even close to what I felt in that moment. I remember at one point my body even began to quiver, no matter how much I tried to stifle it. At this point, all doubts about God's existence were gone with the wind, for I recall experiencing a deep knowing that extended beyond my human understanding.
The following week was the best week of my life. All my addictive tendencies and perverse thoughts were completely gone. Not a single depraved thought entered my mind. Not only this, but I distinctly recall the amount of joy I felt in those days. I had the biggest smile on my face which I could not hide, and all my depression was wiped clean without a trace. There was also this intense feeling of deep connection with everything, even nature. One experience in particular that sticks out to me to this day was when that week I was waiting at the bus stop like I usually do, and I began to stare at the tree in front of me. This is the same tree I had seen a million times before, but as I stared at it this time, suddenly the tree became vivid before my eyes, full of intense life and color--colors and beauty which didn't seem physically possible. In that moment I remember saying to myself, "nature is praising God with my soul", and didn't think much of it in the moment, as it appeared to be an obvious, unquestionable reality. I remember going to class that day and having multiple friends and teachers pull me aside and ask what was wrong with me, and that I had a different "glow" about me, and that they haven't seen me with this much joy before. I felt reborn, like I was truly seeing life for the first time. I felt complete in God/Love, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. After the week had passed, I suddenly felt like my "normal" self again--not in terms of feeling depressed and returning to my depravity, but rather that it felt like my mind was in control again instead of the True mind. I now had to consciously work to control my thoughts, find joy, etc., but it was easier to do still, given that I remembered the state from which I previously came. I remember feeling that life on earth was simultaneously pointless while also not. All of this happened a decade ago, so lots has happened since then, but this is an experience I will never forget. I still struggle with life of course just like everyone else, but I'm in a much better place now then where I used to be, simply because of God's Love. Any time life tries to get to me, I look back to this time in my life.
I say all these things not to boast in myself, but to boast in God. There is nothing inherently more special about me, nor was any of what I experienced my own doing. I simply decided to put my faith in God because that was all I had, and God answered, giving me what I needed at the time, and I am confident he will do the same for anyone in similar circumstance who places their faith in Him. I'm also slowly growing past the point of arguing with people about this or that when it comes to God. If you want to know God, seek Him, and He will answer. On that day, all arguments will be brought to nothing, for if God is Truth, will He not eventually answer you in the Truth of Himself? If you have any questions feel free to dm me, and I'd also love to hear any comments. Other than that, thanks for taking the time to read :)
With peace and love,
Anonymous

Am i wrong in this situation?
Need advice regarding relationship with sister
Please read..please I don't have anyone to talk to
So long story short
Me and my sister have some issues, i feel she doesn't acknowledge my emotions
She is married and I used to live with her..and I have a chosen a career path that is some what non conventional and I was working on it but nothing was working out and sometimes I felt depressed and so I felt like doing nothing, I know it's my fault
My sister paid my rent and some one time tution fees (18k) and other little exolenses,when I was in College, it was a depressing phase and i felt suffocated in that degree but somehow cleared the exams . My parents don't know this as my sister felt that they can't afford it
Now when I finished my degree, i came to my sister's home and lived with her...in between I had a surgery too so she used to go to hospital with me too which I am eternally grateful for
Now i acknowledge all this she did for me but I would say she is quite controlling and I feel there were some emotional issues..i used for feel she totally disregard my emotions..she used to tell me how I cry too often and I am too sensitive and sometimes during agruements she also told me I am of no use and this career path I have chosen i will go nowhere..i understand she might be frustrated due to financial responsibility of me and her kids and her office it's expected to get frustrated..but I feel like she used to take that on me and she also told me i don't care about our parents (which i kinda don't cause I feel like there is no emotional connection between us I know it's my responsibility to care but again I can't force emotions but I know i might be selfish and irresponsible))
Now a big fight happened some days ago when she forced me to do teach maths at academy and told me you will have to do this otherwise leave this house...I don't like maths at all..and iam working on my own career which isn't going anywhere I know ..but then I stared crying and she told me bas kuch bhi bolo toh yeh aansun nikal aate hain...bojh ban kar bethi hai
Then I feel really bad and left her house and cake to live with my parents
Now it's been a month
Yesterday she called me a couple of times and i didn't pick up cause i knew there are still resentment fro my side and I don't wanna fight and I don't wanna talk with her cause kya fayda vo samjhti hi nahi hai...
Then she called my mom today and told her all that, how she paid for my expenses and how ungrateful and egoistic I am, she told my mom Jo mehengi cheez boli vo dilayi
Now I am really hurt, this isn't true, while I know she paid for my rent and other expenses but never did i once asked her to buy me anything like clothes , or other stuff ...only necessities like rent, spectacles, phone( it was 20k and I gave her 10 k from my savings which I saved in college) i needed to buy phone as my old phone went dead and it was all she did on her own ..i didn't particularly force her .I know she bought me quite expensive things but i didn't tell her to..I waa like Jo tujhe theek lge
Never did once i asked her to buy me clothes or said that I want the eat food from outside. Never. Even when I didn't use to have that good clothes,i I never asked her to buy me..if she saw while washing clothes that this is of no use..she herself bought me one or two ...but i never asked her, i never demanded anything, i swear
I know she has done a lot but I feel so bad that she told mom all this ...like i feel like she is trying to say ki ehsaan Kiya hai...like are relationships supposed to be like these? Kya sirf pesa hi sab hota hai?
And i promise the day I earn I will pay her everything back that too with interest
What made me leave that house and cut contact was she forced me to reach in that academy knowing I hate maths and how difficulty i cleared my degree exams... she said kuch nahi kar rhi..now that's true kabhi kabhi when I feel depressed I don't do anything but I was working on my career (I'm in writing)
And then after telling me ki bojh bankr bethi hai , she came to me telling me ki khana khila degi kya shiv ko(my nephew)she saw me crying and said bas yhi shuru ho jata hai hmesha ka and hum konsa tujhe maar Peet rhe hain
Then i felt like enough is enough and left the house
And I know she went to hospital in my surgery but there was no emotional support, it was a task for her and once she was telling some relative ki.hum pareshan ho Gaye Hain ...i know he has a lot on her plate, her family, job, kids
But isn't this emotional abuse?
When she called mom yesterday telling all this ki I paid all her expenses and apne bache ki tarah rakha and she isn't even talking , apne bache ki feelings koi consider nahi karta kya? I feel so bad and I know she has done a lot but I don't if I am wrong here
PLEASE GUIDE, PLEASE I'M REALLY DEPRESSED BY ALL THIS AND I FEEL LIKE WHERE DO I GO, i don't have anyone to talk to

Single male ~30 currently receiving just under 7k/month between VA compensation and SSDI.
How big of an emergency fund do I need?
In terms of unexpected costs, I hardly ever drive but my collision deductible is only 250, same deductible for my renters insurance (includes flood and earthquake), and for medical care I have Medicare with TRICARE wraparound as well as Medicaid paying my monthly Medicare premiums so no out of pocket medical and long term care costs (my disability income is deemed excluded or non-countable for Medicaid purposes in my state under the specific Medicaid program I’m under). I also have Trupanion coverage for my pets so at the most I’d be paying under a couple grand for a 10k vet bill.
I do live in a HCOL area and I like my amenities and walkable infrastructure so it’s not surprising my rent just went up to 3k inclusive of water and electricity.

accept offer at unisa

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accept offer at unisa

‘‘Who the fuck am I, doctor? What happened to who I was?’’
As a doctor, it’s normal for such patients, utterly at the end of their tether, to resort to such language, even though we doctors are supposed to enjoy a degree of formality not reserved for other walks of life. At this point in my career, I pay it no mind.
‘‘Thank you for agreeing to undergo the physical exam, Elton,’’ I began, ‘‘and also agreeing to discuss your complete medical history with me before we begin. That should greatly expedite my ability to diagnose what’s happening here.’’
He was obviously in a very bad way. The signs of sleep deprivation were wrought into his features. He was adrift in a sea of nothingness and was close to drowning.
‘‘I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. Whatever it takes.’’
I’d seen this many times before. As an expert in this particular field of human existentialism, I already knew the exact problem, but for the sake of appearances I needed to let the patient work through the process on his own. After all, this patient was still more than salvageable.
‘‘Well, now that we’ve used various diagnostic tests, including imaging studies and blood tests, to rule out physical illness or medication side effects as the cause of the symptoms,’’ I paused to give him time to take this all in, ‘‘I think it’s time for us to discuss what else it could be. At this point I’d like you just to tell me how you feel on a day-to-day basis.’’
‘‘I don’t even really know where to begin.’’
I do, but it’s important for the next stage of this process to come from him, as much as it possibly can.
‘‘Take your time. It’s important to the diagnosis that you put your feelings into your own words.’’
‘‘I guess I feel like I have… well, a distorted perception of my own body. I don’t know how to really describe it, at least not in a way that makes any sense. I guess I kind of feel like I’m a robot… or I’m in a dream. I might fear I’m going crazy and might become depressed, anxious, or worse.’’
I nodded, taking in Elton’s words. ‘‘Elton, what you're describing sounds a lot like depersonalization disorder. It’s a condition where people feel disconnected or detached from their own body and thoughts. It’s as if you’re observing yourself from outside your body or living in a dream.’’
He looked at me with a mixture of confusion and desperation. ‘‘So, I’m not going crazy?’’
‘‘No, you're not losing touch with reality. People with depersonalization disorder are very much aware that what they're experiencing isn’t normal, which is what makes it so distressing. Episodes can last for a short time or, in some cases, for many years, affecting daily functioning.’’
‘‘What causes it?’’ he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
‘‘The exact cause isn’t well understood, but it can be triggered by intense stress or traumatic events, such as abuse, accidents, or violence. It’s one of several dissociative disorders which involve disruptions in memory, consciousness, and identity.’’
He took a deep breath, trying to process the information. ‘‘Is there any way to make it stop?’’
‘‘Treatment typically involves psychotherapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy, to help you manage your symptoms. In some cases, medication might be prescribed to address underlying issues like anxiety or depression. The first step is understanding what you're dealing with, and from there, we can work together on a treatment plan.’’
Elton nodded slowly. ‘‘I just want to feel normal again.’’
‘‘I understand. And with the right approach, we can work towards that goal. You’re not alone in this, Elton. We’ll take it step by step.’’
Elton nodded slowly. ‘‘I just want to feel normal again.’’
‘‘I understand, Elton. Let’s talk about how we can work towards that. Most people with depersonalization disorder seek treatment because of symptoms like depression or anxiety, not always the depersonalization itself. Sometimes, these symptoms go away on their own over time. But when they don’t, or if they're particularly distressing, treatment can help.’’
‘‘So, what kind of treatment are we talking about?’’
‘‘The goal of your treatment is to address the stress and triggers associated with the onset of the disorder. The best approach depends on your individual situation and the severity of your symptoms. Psychotherapy, especially talk therapy, is usually the primary treatment. Cognitive therapy can help change any dysfunctional thinking patterns you might have.’’
‘‘Will I need medication?’’
‘‘Let’s take things a little slower, Elton. Medications are not typically used to treat depersonalization disorder directly. However, if you’re experiencing significant depression or anxiety, an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication might be helpful. Sometimes, antipsychotic medications are used to help with disordered thinking and perception.’’
Elton shifted in his seat, considering the options. ‘‘What about my family? They don’t understand what I’m going through.’’
‘‘Family therapy can be beneficial. It helps to educate your family about the disorder and its causes, and it can also help them recognize the symptoms if they recur. This support system can be very important for your recovery.’’
‘‘Are there any other types of therapy that might help?’’
‘‘Yes, creative therapies like art or music therapy can provide a safe and expressive way to explore your thoughts and feelings. Clinical hypnosis is another option; it uses intense relaxation and concentration to explore thoughts and memories that might be contributing to your symptoms.’’
‘‘What’s the outlook for me, then? Can I really recover from this?’’
‘‘Well, the good news is that many patients do recover completely from depersonalization disorder. The symptoms often go away on their own or after effective treatment that helps address the underlying stress or trauma. However, without treatment, additional episodes can occur. With the right support and treatment plan, we can work towards your recovery.’’
Elton took a deep breath, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. ‘‘Alright, let’s do this. I’m ready to start.’’
‘‘Good. We’ll take it step by step, together.’’
I then leaned forward slightly; my tone gentle but firm. "Elton, there's one treatment that might provide more immediate relief. It's called clinical hypnosis. By guiding you into a deeply relaxed state, we can explore your subconscious and potentially uncover the root causes of your depersonalization."
Elton's eyebrows furrowed in skepticism. "Hypnosis? You think that'll actually work?"
"I understand your doubts," I replied. "But hypnosis can be a powerful tool. It allows us to access parts of your mind that are usually hidden, bringing buried memories and feelings to the surface. Many patients find it really helps them make significant breakthroughs."
Elton hesitated, glancing around the sterile office. "I don't know... it sounds kind of... out there."
"You're right to be cautious," I said, nodding. "But consider this: you're here because traditional methods haven't worked. This is another option, one that could bring you relief faster than talk therapy or medication. And I'll be with you every step of the way."
A long silence stretched between us as Elton weighed his options. Finally, he sighed, a mix of resignation and hope in his eyes. "Alright. I'll try it. What do I have to lose?"
"Excellent," I said, a hopefully reassuring smile on my face. "Let's get started."
Elton settled back into the chair, feeling a flutter of nerves in his stomach. I dimmed the lights and began speaking in a calm, rhythmic voice, guiding Elton through deep breathing exercises. "Focus on your breath," I instructed. "Inhale slowly through your nose... hold it... and exhale through your mouth."
Elton followed along, feeling his body gradually relax. My voice was soothing and steady. "Imagine a peaceful place," I continued. "Somewhere you feel completely safe and calm. Picture it in your mind and let yourself drift there."
A warm sensation spread through Elton's limbs as he visualized a tranquil beach, the gentle waves lapping at the shore. His eyelids grew heavy, and my voice had now become his only anchor to reality.
"You're doing well, Elton," I softly murmured. "Now, I want you to go deeper. Let yourself sink into a state of complete relaxation. With each breath, feel yourself going deeper and deeper."
Elton felt as though he was floating, weightless and free. My voice guided him further, urging him to explore the recesses of his mind. "You're safe here," I said. "I want you to go back to a time when you first felt disconnected. Allow the memories to come to the surface."
Images began to flicker in Elton's mind, fragmented at first, then gradually forming a coherent picture. He saw himself as a child, standing alone in a dark room. The sense of detachment washed over him, more intense than ever before.
"Tell me what you see," I prompted gently.
"I'm... I'm in my old house," Elton said, his voice distant and hollow. "It's dark, and I feel so... alone."
"Good," I replied. "Let's explore this memory together. What happens next?"
As Elton delved deeper into his past, the details of his childhood began to unfold, revealing the moments of fear and isolation that had shaped his experience of the world. My voice remained a constant guide, helping him navigate through the labyrinth of his subconscious.
With each revelation, Elton felt a weight lifting from him, the long-buried emotions surfacing and dissipating. He was beginning to understand the origins of his depersonalization, and for the first time in a long while, he felt a glimmer of hope.
As Elton's breathing slowed and his body relaxed further into the chair, I observed him with an almost clinical detachment. I maintained my soothing tone, but my mind was focused on the next phase of my plan.
"You're doing very well, Elton," I said, my voice steady. "Now, I want you to go even deeper. Let your mind drift until you reach a state of complete relaxation."
Elton's eyes fluttered closed, and his body went limp. I continued to murmur softly, guiding Elton into a semi-comatose state. Once satisfied that Elton was deeply under, I stood up and crossed the room to a cabinet, retrieving a sleek piece of scientific equipment.
I returned to Elton's side, carefully attaching the apparatus to his head. The device resembled a futuristic helmet, with electrodes and sensors that monitored brain activity and displayed it on a nearby screen. I adjusted the settings, my eyes flicking to the monitor as it powered up.
The screen quickly hummed to life, displaying a detailed image of Elton's brain. Patterns of electrical activity danced across the display, revealing the inner workings of his mind. I watched intently, my expression a mix of curiosity and satisfaction.
"Activate the neural resonance scanner," I instructed my unseen assistant through a small intercom device on my desk.
A moment later, my assistant entered the room, a young technician with a clipboard. She nodded and began adjusting additional controls on the apparatus, fine-tuning the settings to enhance the resolution of the brain scan.
"Good," I muttered, more to myself than to my assistant. "Let's see what we're dealing with."
The screen's image sharpened, and the intricate details of Elton's brain became clearer. I leaned further in, studying the neural pathways and synaptic connections. I was searching for any specific anomalies, patterns that might otherwise explain the profound disconnection Elton felt from his own body, apart from what I already knew to be the true reason.
"There," I whispered, pointing to a cluster of unusual activity deep within the temporal lobe. "Increase the magnification on this section."
My assistant complied, and the image zoomed in on the targeted area. My eyes narrowed as I scrutinized the display. I had of course seen similar patterns before, but never with such clarity. It was as if Elton's brain was broadcasting a signal, a distress call from within the depths of his subconscious.
"Prepare the neuro-interface," I ordered. "We need to delve deeper into this anomaly."
My assistant hurried to set up another piece of equipment, a sleek console with a series of complex controls. As she worked, I continued to monitor the screen, my mind racing with possibilities. This was – of course - no ordinary case of depersonalization disorder. There was something unique about Elton’s brain, something that held the key to understanding the human mind's most profound mysteries, and our continued presence here.
With the neuro-interface ready, I began the delicate process of linking it to the apparatus already attached to Elton's head. This would allow me to interact directly with the neural signals, exploring the depths of Elton’s subconscious in ways traditional therapy could never achieve.
"Elton," I said softly, even though I knew the young man could not respond in his current state. "We're going to find out what’s really happening inside your mind. And with any luck, we’ll finally bring you some peace."
As the neuro-interface established its connection, I took a deep breath, ready to plunge into the uncharted territories of Elton's psyche.
The neuro-interface hummed as it established its connection with Elton's subconscious. I adjusted my headset, and the images on the screen shifted, providing a direct view into the intricate neural landscape of Elton's mind. I focused intently, searching for the signal I knew was there. After a few moments, the connection stabilized, and a new voice resonated within my mind.
"Pilot Taupin," I said, my voice filled with a barely controlled anger. "Do you realize the damage you've caused by neglecting your duties?"
There was a pause, followed by a petulant reply from within the depths of Elton's mind. "This human is boring," Taupin complained. "Being his neuro-pilot is no fun at all. He's so predictable, so... mundane."
I clenched my jaw, struggling to keep my temper in check. "Maintaining the mission is all-important, Taupin. We have protocols for a reason. Too many humans are waking up to their realities, and your negligence is contributing to the problem."
Taupin's voice, echoing through the neural pathways, carried a tone of indifference. "Protocols, missions... It's all so tedious. Why should I care if a few humans start questioning their reality? It's not like they can do anything about it."
My eyes narrowed as I studied the patterns on the screen, observing the chaotic flux of neural signals that reflected Taupin's rebellious attitude. "Your job is to ensure that they don't question it, Taupin. By allowing Elton to experience such severe depersonalization, you've jeopardized the integrity of his mind and our entire operation."
Taupin sighed, a sound that reverberated through Elton's brain. "You don't understand, Doctor. The monotony of this existence is unbearable. I need more stimulation, more... excitement."
I leaned closer to the screen, my voice dropping to a menacing whisper. "If you can't handle the responsibilities of your position, we can find a replacement who can. Your indulgence in seeking excitement has nearly cost us this human. Indeed, it is his very mundanity that we have honed in on. He is earmarked for high political office in the future. We need him to fulfill his potential so we can increase our influence over this species. Remember, Taupin: the mission is paramount, and you will adhere to your duties."
There was a long silence, the neural pathways crackling with tension. Finally, Taupin spoke again, his tone begrudging. "Fine. I'll do what you ask. But remember, Doctor, without a bit of freedom, even the most loyal pilot can become resentful."
I took a deep breath, slightly easing the grip of my anger. "Resentment or not, you will maintain your human and ensure he remains stable. We can't afford any more risks. Now, begin the recalibration process. Restore Elton's perception of reality and eliminate any residual anomalies."
Reluctantly, Taupin complied, and I watched as the neural activity on the screen began to stabilize. Patterns of normalcy re-emerged, and the chaotic signals smoothed into harmonious rhythms.
"Good," I said, my voice steady once more. "Remember, Taupin, the success of our mission depends on the seamless integration of our presence within these humans. We cannot allow any deviation from the established protocols."
As the connection began to fade, Taupin's final words lingered in the doctor's mind. "Understood, Doctor. But don't forget, even the best-kept secrets have a way of coming to light."
I removed the headset and sighed, rubbing my temples. I knew that the delicate balance they maintained was constantly under threat, and I could only hope that Taupin — and others like him — would remember the importance of our mission. For now, Elton's mind was stable, but I remained vigilant, knowing that the battle to maintain control over humanity would never be truly over.

I want to approach this topic with a lot of nuance, because I've seem some pretty asinine takes from all sides. For context, I'm someone who would love to be a mother but I most likely will not have children because I couldn't ethically bring someone I claim to love into this world. I see that as realism, not pessimism.
This is hardly the worst thing my parents do to me - and it's certainly not as bad as some people experience - but I still see this as low-level abuse and neglect. It's incredibly toxic parenting.
Overall, I am a leftist. If someone cannot afford to have as many children as they'd like to, it is the fault of capitalism (or whatever -ism is present at the time). It may be hypocritical, but I'm weary when other people discuss this topic because they do not discuss the nuance. Just saying "if you can't afford to have kids, don't have them" without taking a systemic view of the economy is just ignorant. I will always fight for fiscal measures that help parents & children.
However... I'm also very aware that we are not on the cusp of a revolution - and even if we were, who's to say that what comes after will be any better. Even if the material conditions we're forced to live with are not inevitable/our fault, we will have to deal with them. When you decide to have a child (or not), you need to consider what their quality of life could be like.
I would love so much to be a mother, so I understand how cutting it is to say "sorry, I know it's not your fault, but this world is no ethical place to bring a child into." But I've come to terms with that: it is either going to be my misery or theirs. And anyone who would be a decent parent, ironically, wouldn't make a living being suffer just so that they could be happy.
So, I do say "don't have children if you can't afford them" - however, I also say "because you love them too much to give them a terrible upbringing - not because it's your fault." No using this as an excuse to cut government spending and taxes on the wealthy. Recognise this as what it is: another very painful misery of being born into poverty (a terrible choice you have to make), not some sort of asinine "life's unfair; deal with it" boomer response.
Coming back to the title: my parents brought me up in a one bedroom house. I've always shared a room with my mum and my dad sleeps in the living room. I've never had any privacy (especially since my mum had a penchant for looking at my phone and diary, ugh). They've never acknowledged how insane my upbringing was. I'm not even going to go into the violence, neglect and emotional abuse because I want to stay on topic.
Additionally, my parents have always worked minimum wage jobs. They're young boomers - I know it sounds harsh to say that they 'chose' this, but they really did in their case. They had actual opportunity but they squandered it because they had no ambition (oh, and they've strongly discouraged any of my ambitions, even after I achieved them). The future just never even occurred to them.
They seem to think it was perfectly acceptable for me to have almost no stimulation growing-up. We rarely went out or on holiday. I didn't have hobbies like other children. I didn't go to any clubs. Their excuses were always about money or that they were 'too old' to do stuff with me. Why did you have me aged 40 then?! And remember, I couldn't have friends over because of this one-bedroom hoarder's house. I'm an only child, so I didn't even have siblings to play with.
I'm sick of being called 'dramatic' for saying it how it is: this is neglect and low-level abuse. If you're feeling the same way, then here is your sign that that is okay. You are NOT being unreasonable. If you had a parent that never did anything with you because they were 'tOo oLd' or supposedly didn't have the money to, then that's neglect. If someone had a pet that they just gave food and water to, and that was it, then you'd call the RSPCA. People can only see cruelty when it comes to pets and very small children. Anyone sane would know that children, teens & young adults need way more than the absolute bare minimum. If you were treated this way, you are a Plant Child. You were treated like a plant, as was I.
There are cases of feral children, such as Genie, who were kept locked away without any stimulation for much of their childhood. Obviously, this profoundly ruined their lives. This is the extreme end of the scale - what we're talking about here is the middle. If you had parents who complained AT ALL about the 'cost' (financial or emotional) of raising you, then you had an abusive parent.
It should be completely obvious that people with our childhood were going to get cabin fever from being indoors or the time OR doing the same things all the time. This obviously is going to make you extremely depressed and have... bad thoughts. The neglect makes you prone to PTSD/C-PTSD. I naturally don't interact much with my parents because I'm dissociated from them, a symptom of PTSD. I don't even do this consciously. In my case, it led me to spend all of my time online - and sure enough I found a whole load of new trauma from being groomed to pro-ana to weird political enclaves.
You were not a 'naughty child' for being bored, as parents love to claim. You were bored of LIFE. Being bored of LIFE is not normal for anyone, especially a child. It's neglect. Those who are bored of life will be prone to falling into abusive relationships just to feel fucking alive for once.
As a side note, I also hate when parents don't plan for any eventuality over than their child's life being all roses and sunshine. Parents will literally lose interest in their relationship with you if you don't move out by 18. I've been treated disgustingly by my parents for having to be out of work for 2 years after being R*PED. I've also been treated disgustingly because I'm autistic and people are so keen to fire me - despite often being the only one competent in the very skill they're crying out for - because I'm a little quiet. I've learned recently that being quiet isn't actually a natural part of being autistic - we're just so traumatised en masse by allistic people that this has become one of our 'traits'. We're harassed for exhibiting symptoms of past harassment and the cycle just never stops.
Even for people who don't face additional harassment in the workplace, most of our parents never planned for the economy we have. I've read all over the internet millennials and zoomers being mistreated by their parents for events that parents should've planned for.
That was one big anti-natalist/misanthropist rant. I hope I've captured the nuance of the systemic as well as the individual.

No lie all 3 of the women (term used at its loosest) involved in this are making fools of themselves but differences I've noticed. Mikki attacks Nan on her actions & behavior in relation to the situationship they all 3 are involved in. The 3some of love/hate/lies/cheating/manipulation/betrayal. Nan attacks Mikki on her name, job, looks, hygiene rumors, financial status, education status, etc. Blatant differences in maturity & character levels. How does the one that has blatantly made it so obvious that she doesn't even hold the ability to count correctly dare to act like she's better than anyone else in anything?

I started therapy a couple of weeks ago and I really like my therapist so far. It’s teletherapy and I feel really grateful that I’ve found her. I’ve been up front that I have plans to move out of state in roughly 4 months but it is looking like it will be closer to 3 months. She has still agreed to see me and I understand that with her licensure we will no longer be able to continue therapy.
As a therapist, is it okay or do you feel comfortable taking a client for only 3 months? I’m less worried about my progress and more want to make sure that I’m not doing her a disservice but being a short-term client. I realize she obviously could not have agreed to continue seeing me but I also have friends who are therapists and I know how difficult they find it to end service with a client.

Yes- I'm 14, and the girl I like is 12. I know the age difference is significant, especially on an emotional level, but she means a lot to me (I'm relatively short for my age, so I could be mistaken for a 12 or 13-year-old). Let's call this girl "Alice".
I'm finishing middle school in about a week and have exams coming up. I've liked Alice since I first saw her in February, and I can't stop thinking about her. She's the sister of one of my classmate's ex-boyfriends (Let's call this classmate "Ava") and she was also getting a lot of attention from the girls in my class. I kept this to myself until I told my best friend (Let's call him Matthew). Initially, I wasn't sure what I was feeling because I had never liked anyone before. At some point, I was teasing Matthew, and in a moment of anger, he blurted out to the whole class that I liked Alice. The girls, including Ava, were surprised but offered to help. Predictably, the secret lasted only six days. When Alice next visited our class, Ava told her I liked her. Alice looked at me for a moment, (sorta) blushed and left the class. I didn't have the courage to talk to her while she was still outside the class, and at the end of recess one of her friends later told me Alice didn't like me. I cried almost every day during the Easter holidays. When school resumed, Ava said Alice wanted to see me. Alice, hugging Ava, seemed shy but smiled when asked to at least ask for my name. My friends thought she might like me based on her reaction. I didn't talk to Alice for a week, and none of my friends pushed me to. Then one of Alice's classmates (Let's call her Brooke) said Alice was waiting for me to talk to her. So at recess, I visited Alice in her class, and she said hi, looking embarrassed, happy, and confused at the same time. She then hid in the bathroom, and her friends, who seemed enthusiastic about the situation, assured me she was just shy. At some point, Ava called me to talk to Alice again, but Alice ran away. Ava later said Alice thought I was cute. In the following days, I visited Alice often, just to say hi, but her friends encouraged me to be more direct. I went up to her and she tried to run away, but her friends stopped her. She eventually took a deep breath and asked what I wanted to tell her. I told her I liked her, and she made the same face from a few days earlier. After that, Alice seemed to lose interested. The next day, we had a proper conversation, and she said she'd see me later, but I didn't manage to visit her during the lunch break. For various reasons, I couldn't visit her for the next week. When I finally did, Alice sent Brooke to tell me she didn't like me, so I was miserable, but after a few minutes, Brooke changed this answer to "It's not a yes or a no," which was confusing. I later realised this might've just been a little remark to make me feel better. I wasn't completely defeated since Alice hadn't rejected me in person. Ava wrote a fake love letter from me to Alice, despite my objections. She managed to sneak past me and bring her the letter. From far away, I could see that Alice seemed happy and surprised by it. However, her friends stopped talking about the situation and helping me, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but I found it suspicious. I couldn't gather the courage to talk to Alice for a month, so I decided to write her a letter expressing how much she meant to me and wanting to clear things up. The day I planned to give it to her, I found out she had gotten a boyfriend three days earlier (Don't take this seriously, but I've seen him and for the record, I could easily beat him up). She seems pretty attatched to him too, because to my dismay, they hold hands and sometimes even kiss. Alice still occasionally looks at me with a neutral expression or sometimes even says hi, for whatever reason. Anyway, I've got one week of school left and I've lost all hope, so my question is, what should I do- if anything? Should I talk to her one last time? What should I say? Should I truly give up on this forever? And also, does anyone have any idea what was going on in her head during this whole ordeal? Please, this truly means a lot to me.
TLDR: I'm finishing middle school and have liked a girl two years younger than me for the past few months. My classmates told her, and they pushed us to talk. We had a few awkward conversations, and she seemed somewhat interested. Eventually, one of her friends said she didn't like me, and my classmates stopped helping or talking about this situation. I tried talking to her myself for a month but couldn't. I wrote her a letter, but she got a boyfriend three days before I could give it to her. Now I've got one week of school left and have lost hope. She occasionally looks at me or says hi, for whatever reason. Should I talk to her one last time? And also, does anyone have any idea what was going on in her head during this whole ordeal?

My family is traveling to port of Miami from homestead. It’s like 10 of us with luggage. Ubers are like $100 a car. Is there like a shuttle or car service that would do a transport like this? Any help is greatly appreciated.

Hello all!
We are a small group of passionate game developers working on an exciting new project: a story-driven, multiplayer PvP investigation/puzzle (with rpg elements) video game inspired by the "Ace Attorney" series with some influences from the latest "Persona" games.
Project Overview:

• Gameplay: The game is designed for two players, ideally friends, who will battle each other in court to make their own version of justice prevail.
• Investigation: Players will investigate crime scenes, collecting both evidence and witnesses to bring into court.
• Decision-Making: Time is limited, and every decision has consequences that could affect you or your opponent in various ways.
• The World: The game will feature various explorable locations and an immersive storyline, presented in a stylized 3D isometric view during the investigation phase and a visual novel-like experience in court.
• Characters: A series of characters express themselves through extensive, personality-rich text dialogue.

Collaboration Opportunity: We are not looking for traditional one-time commission work. Instead, we seek someone who will work with us long-term as a dedicated member of our team.
In short, we're looking for an artist with skills in visual novel-like portrait creation.
[!] Budget: Given the nature of this long-term collaboration, it's challenging for us to define a specific budget upfront. We are open to discussing this in further detail to find a mutually beneficial arrangement.
If your application is approved, we'll be more than happy to discuss with you about ownership, pricing and everything in between (with a contract).
How to Apply: For more details and to apply, please contact us and fill out the application form available here: Form.
Please do not leave a comment stating you'd like to apply. Fill out the Form instead, thanks!
We look forward to potentially working with you!

Hello everyone. I’m in need of $450 as soon as possible to pay rest of my rent. I was out in a hole due to switching jobs from getting paid every week to every other week. You could lay out the terms and I could provide any documentation needed. Thank you

I signed up to Profile Pensions through somebody's referral link on here last week and it was honestly one of the quickest sign ups I've ever done.
They have an offer where you can receive a £50 Amazon gift card when signing up through a referral link and transfer a pension or make a pension contribution of £1,000 or more - I had an old pension from an old job I just used this to receive my gift card :)
How to sign up and receive your bonus:

• Sign up with a referral link & enter your email address
• Answer some brief questions on personal info/whether you would like the pension to be low/high risk based on investments, some basic questions about state pension etc.
• Transfer in a pension from another company or deposit £1,000 (obviously transferring in is easier if you can!) I chose to transfer my personal pension from Moneybox and it worked no problem!
• You will receive a few confirmation emails that it has been accepted and you'll receive a £50 Amazon gift card within 30 days.

They keep you updated with a few friendly emails regarding your 'inductory reward' and explain their 30 day cooling off period. Also, on some other threads in here I've seen after this if you still haven't received the gift card, nudging them about this they seem to pay out immedietely so they seem like a really lovely company!
FYI - there is a fee of 0.82%-0.87% depending on the plan you're on, mine was 0.83% for Balanced. *If you are also transferring a personal pension from Moneybox, please note your 'policy number' is your NI number! I struggled with this but spoke with support about it, so this could save you some time/not run into a delay with transferring your pension :)
Sign up here for your £50 Amazon gift card :)
Non-referral link
Reward T&Cs

Has anyone installed block off plates to disable the pair valve? My local shop quoted me $290. I’m going to do the full exhaust because I am getting a Dyno tune. Is this a job I can easily do in my garage? I’ve worked on cars for most of my life.

TLDR: Chill dude who can hold a conversation with a good sense of humor and memes
Brief Description About Me:
25M USA - EST Hispanic-American Fluent in both English and Spanish Meme Supplier + Dark Humor Included Hobbies/Interests: Gaming, Reading, Sports, Movies, Music, Hiking, Running, Memes
Looking to meet cool people and have a good time tbh, especially those who can hold a conversation lol.
I WFH so I’m usually pretty good at replying, it won’t feel like talking to a wall. Weekends get a lil busier, but I always try my best to reply. Down for short-term or long-term if we click!
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Have a great rest of the weekend!

Currently on maternity leave with a 6-week old newborn, only receiving 66% of my pay every 2 weeks until July 18th. Husband lost his high-paying job this past Friday, and we applied for welfare benefits as well as look for jobs for him. The welfare applications are still in process but it could take up to a month before we hear anything, you know how it is. We have a shutoff notice for our electric bill, will provide proof in PMs. We’re also late on rent, but the landlords haven’t sent an eviction notice yet but we’re short $200 on that. we’re working to scrounge up as much as possible but as the title says, anything helps and I will work to pay back everyone that donates as soon as we both get back to working full-time. PayPal and CashApp is $IsabellaBalthaser and Venmo is @blxckveilgemini

I originally wrote this for Letterboxd and thought I would post it here, I hope that's okay; I never see this film being reviewed anywhere.
This was quite a surprise, to be honest. I wasn't sure how much I was going to enjoy the film, but I was immediately sucked in. The real genius here is the "documentary" parts spliced in between the faux horror film "Pumpkin" created by no-budget filmmakers and doomed lovers Warren Werner and Samantha Dixon who commit suicide (this is explained in the opening monologue so it's not a spoiler and you need to know it going in) when the entire town crucifies them for their graphic homemade serial killer gorefest. I (appropriately) wanted to shake the hell out of the interviewees who seem to blame the double suicide on Warren and his "dark personality" which seems to consist of a perhaps overly exuberant young love affair and an obsession with horror filmmaking; hardly anything to get in a snit about and certainly a far cry from the devil worshippers the town brands Warren and Samantha.
The other part of the film consists of the remaining footage of Warren and Samantha's film "Pumpkin" and I have to admit I thought this part was going to be awful but I loved it! Was it ridiculous? Yes. Was it cheesy? Sure. No budget? Terrible acting? Bad special FX? All present and accounted for. Technically terrible? Oh yeah. Maybe it's just me but I often end up enjoying the kind of SOV gore-and-tit-fests "Pumpkin" would've turned out to be and this one I would've likely watched more than once. It's in such incredibly poor taste that it becomes kind of delightful really, a harkening back to the era of analog without overdoing it. It concerns a serial killer named Taboris DeWitt who is hitchhiking across the country, or well, at least Alabama. But first we sit through a pretty pointless scene involving two bimbos having a pillow fight in their underwear in a seedy motel to the absolute most ear-splitting song I have ever, ever heard... and don't get comfy 'cause it plays many times throughout the film. First one girl gets a room with a "sexy guy" (god help me) named Johnny Knickerbocker, a loser hung up on his ex-girlfriend and traveling aimlessly across the country even though last Halloween he had his arm hacked off by a psycho clown and an old man traveling in a van (this part is important, for what it's worth, lol). The actor is clearly not an amputee by the way, his arm is just under his shirt. He also looks like a junkie about halfway into their nod but far be it from me to cast aspersions. They've only just seated themselves in their new temporary digs when Bimbo #1 (don't expect me to keep track of everybody's names) proceeds to immediately call up her gal pal, Bimbo #2, telling her she's got a hot guy in her motel room (yeah, no, sorry). She shows up, they have their pillow fight, they try to rouse Johnny from his opiate-esque stupor, and he then throws both bimbos out saying he's not ready to be with a woman because of his ex. He's clearly an idiot because these girls were actually pretty cute, especially for a movie like this! It's kind of a weird trend, all the girls bar one (who we'll get to later) are cute. Well I can't tell if the strippers are cute because you only really see their asses, but the asses were decent I guess. I mean, it ain't no high-class club is what I'm sayin'.
Okay, now we switch to storyline #2. Yes, these filmmakers were quite ambitious with their project, adding a whole other storyline, which means we're back with Taboris the serial killer from the beginning. They actually do a pretty decent job of switching between storylines considering. So we're back with Taboris now, who in what can only be dubbed a Tarantino-esque move has the serial killer walk right past Johnny Knickerbocker and get a room at the same motel! He's playing drunk but isn't and is in the process of dragging a very inebriated, rather portly woman (I'm sorry if you're reading this, actress) with the most irritating accent I have ever heard into a motel room. She seems amenable but simply unable - that is, to stand on her own. By some sweet miracle we do not have to watch the first sex scene between these two. He wants a ride in her Cadillac - but whoops, when she said her Cadillac she meant her pussy. Um, yeah. It's not a Cadillac. I admit to knowing this with shame. If you somehow wanted to see these two vastly unattractive people have sex, great! Because that's what happens after the Cadillac convo. And it's doggy-style. Oh yes, this glorious actress and all her rolls hanging down kind of makes her look like a pregnant... you know I'm not gonna say that. In any case, you get a good view of them doin' the nasty with great enthusiasm. He then strangles her and mutilates her body in the bathtub, talking to no one, and then washes all the blood off in the sink and kind of seems to have some sort of orgasmic experience while toweling off. It was weird.
Our two storylines (those being the serial killer plot and the Johnny Knickerbocker plot) are about to merge. Again, being quite ambitious. But you know, the editing's not bad for a camcorder production. I've certainly seen much worse. Anyway, right, so our two malcontent stars finally meet as Johnny picks up Taboris hitchhiking. Now I KNOW your mother told you not to pick up hitchhikers Johnny. Bad boy. Taboris tells him he just needs a lift for a few miles up the road. But oh no! Johnny doesn't realize he's picked up a crafty killer with a fake southern accent masking what I presume is this actor's "I am playing a serial killer" voice; a little bit Lecter-esque but mostly just pretentious. He chokes out Johnny and here I was almost certain they were gonna try and pull a Hitchcock and kill off their star (or at least one of them) early. But no, he merely chokes Johnny into unconsciousness and then ties him up, yes, at that same goddamned motel where you'd think the employees would be suspicious of this guy carrying a giant teddy bear (way to keep your cover doofus) and looking like - and answering to the name of - Taboris DeWitt, the serial killer on all the TV stations that two lamebrain detectives are trying to catch in yet ANOTHER storyline. One guy's words are barely intelligible through a thick accent and hardly any teeth. He tends to kind of force lines out in chunks but he does... okay? I mean you obviously have to keep your expectations in check here. The other guy is chubby and apparently hiding the fact that he's having gay hookups, possibly on the job? This movie has a lot of gayness, but not the good kind. More like the kind that would've been in a splatter movie from Alabama in the early 90's. Again, expectations.
Now that he's cast off the chunky paramour and left her body for motel employees to find, Taboris is moving on to Johnny. He's got him tied to a chair, listens to his story about having his arm hacked off by a psycho clown and an old man on the move in a van (but of course) and then subjects him to what feels like a very, very long and obscene dance in his underwear... to the same fucking song from the double-bimbo room earlier. This movie was starting to give off Greasy Strangler vibes, no shit. Speaking of which, that's the next thing Taboris does... with sound effects. I'm making this movie sound like torture but by god I enjoyed myself. So let's go on. Taboris is now in the mood for action (send help) and we thankfully do not witness this nor does Taboris get to fulfill his desires because... reasons. What, you gonna come for me now because I don't remember the details of the movie I literally just finished? Well, you do you I guess.
Alright, next I remember Taboris meets up with his beloved daughter Dana, who is a stripper in that sleazy-ass club I told you about earlier, but before we see her we see some pole dancing by some, uh, lovely ladies... TO THAT SAME SONG. The one difference with Dana is we can see her face and I don't think she actually gets naked in the film. She is, again, a pretty cute girl (I presume I no longer need to amend these sentences with "...for a film like this.") No really, she is cute and she does pretty much fine in her role, better than a lot of the others, not perfect but fine for... oh, I almost did it again. For some reason, Dana decides the right course of action is to tell her dad to get the hell out, allow him to leave the premises as a wanted murderer (and she knows this) and not inform the police of this amazing new lead. Oh yeah, Dana also knows where Daddy Dearest is heading. Where is he heading you ask? Why, to a horse farm on a rural road where an old man and a strangely-acting clown live. Alarm bells ringing for you? They should be; Johnny mentioned two such characters in his story about losing his arm. For some unknown reason under the sun, Taboris claims he has come seeking revenge for Johnny Knickerbocker, you know, the guy he choked, tied up, molested and almost killed? Right. Taboris gets the clown to come out to look at his car, which is beyond me because the clown is supposed to be intellectually challenged but of course that's not the term they use (which shall remain unnamed for those who can't read the goddamned room). Taboris sneaks up behind him and beats the clown to a bloody pulp with a baseball bat yet doesn't manage to kill him. I think he wanted to um, have relations with the clown. Ugh, some of this is kind of weird recounting. But if you fuckers can sit through Kuso you can sit through this!
Taboris goes back to the house under the presumption of talking about horse-racing with the old man. Uh-oh, twist incoming though! The old man and clown are no strangers. Taboris had found out previously that his real father wasn't who he thought it was, oh no. His real father was some schmuck his mother fooled around with a few times and who was married and unaware of the child's existence. Don't feel bad for him though because as soon as Taboris leaves him unattended, old Pops is getting out of his restraints and grabbing for a kitchen knife. Who will win this most epic battle of wits? Just who will survive and what will be left of them? Will I in turn ever regain my sanity? The answer to the last one is probably no, but there's hope for you (not really, there's no hope for you) if you like the sound of any of this. Oh, you thought this was the end of this gargantuan dictionary of a review? Sorry, not done with you yet. One last important piece of the puzzle has not been placed. That piece of the puzzle is the story of Warren and Samantha, dogged by rumors of devil worship throughout the town after a packed opening turns into a disaster. There are some short bits of what purports to be a local TV program who interviewed Warren on the show and you can see the light slowly going out of his eyes as he's grilled by the somewhat horrified host who clearly doesn't understand horror films or filmmaking or art. It's actually a really good acting job and very subtle and kind of brutal to watch. One can't help but think though that if the entire town hadn't made these two kids out to be some cockamamie cult and demeaned their artistic expression (such as it is), there probably would never have been a tragedy at all. Ignorance kills, and we know it. I think that is part of the story the film is trying to tell.
There's no sugarcoating that "Pumpkin" isn't great, but the documentary portion is also very sympathetic to Warren and Samantha. If a couple of kids in the middle of nowhere with a camcorder, some friends and some Karo syrup can't make an amateur movie without their lives being ruined then what the hell does that say about us as a nation? And no, you're right, it's a fictional story, but it's still a message worth sending, even though it will likely only be preaching to the choir. This type of film was never for normals anyway. What does it matter what their opinions are? They're never gonna get it. Don't chase after these type of "audiences" because they will never get or enjoy anything you make. And if Warren and Samantha had the gift of years to understand that, they would still be alive in their fictional universe and maybe even still making movies. Who knows? All that potential went to waste. And honestly I felt pretty sad after the ending, which I never expected to feel.

In short context, we had a fling a couple years ago, and it ended because it was just short term and casual. Few years pass, we reconnected because he reached out to me a year ago. I was in a place where I felt like it was worth it to try it again, and saw him in person last summer. We’ve had our battles, poor communication, great sex, and we have bonded at times. He was so closed off for so long, and I knew he was hiding something from me because when we had a fling several years ago, he didn’t seem like he had anything to hide. Plus, I’ve been to his apartment so many times. (His old one). He apparently moved, and was avoidant of me coming over and would just come to mine any time I asked. We’re working our way into building a relationship, and he said he feels ready and I can meet his son, who is 2 years old and can come over as I please when he’s not working.