That pose where she squints and smiles and does that wierd thing with her arms or puts her hands to her chest is so cringeworthy ! And the uR fAt PoSiTivE bEsTie!!1!1! And the terrible hairstyles, like she’s a toddler ! Not to mention the childlike cheap dresses made by some Chinese child who works in a bedding factory, I’m starting to feel like she keeps up this act so people pity her and invite her to events.

Hello! I recently read Tao Te Ching for the first time and loved it. But I’ve been reading more about Chinese history and culture, and the way that Taoism is sometimes portrayed confused me. As I recall, Tao Te Ching talks of prolonging your life through nonaction, but there was nothing about achieving immortality, and it stressed that you should accept death as a natural part of life. And I don’t recall any discussion or instruction of magic at all, and I feel that, if anything, it’s something the book would encourage you to eschew in favor of more simple methods of nonintervention.
But I’ve been reading Romance of the Three Kingdoms and some other things about Chinese history and culture, and it seems like there’s a major tendency to portray devout Taoists as immortals and/or magicians. And I was wondering where, when, and why this infusion of magic into Taoism came from when, from my admittedly nascent studies and perspective of Taoism, this magic and mysticism seems incongruent with the founding text.

I am a long time AOE fan and getting back into it after many years away. I’ve been playing some skirmishes online and I really truly do not understand how some people go from 0 to a gazillion knights/archers etc. in what seems like minutes, meanwhile I am struggling to train literally any units. I am like training 5 archers and then run out of resources, and then a huge swarm of knights and siege comes and kills me or one of my teammates.
Here are things that I am probably doing that are messing me up: - playing on Xbox (sorry, don’t have a gaming computer. That’s probably the kicker with speed) - not training enough villages. I set on auto spawn but it seems like other people still train more than me. Maybe I need to incorporate a second town center into my strategy - not enough military buildings. It seems like people who win build like 5+ of each type of building. I think I need to get more comfortable with this. But where do they find the wood to do this??!? - not managing villagers well. I tend to use the auto tasks management, and then later on I have like a bunch of gold but not enough of food/wood
Looking at all of this, what else would you suggest a beginner try to refine their strategy and have some chance against these super powerful rush players? I play mostly as English/Chinese btw. Thanks in advance.

This is gonna be really hard as I only remember certain things about it. Sorry! Also the scenes I describe may be a bit gruesome so TW! (As far as I'm concerned the series/movie I'm looking for isn't under the horror genre tho!)
I remember first discovering this series/movie on a youtube video, it's thumbnail was a really beautiful looking Pyramid structure? IIRC there were two characters in the foreground staring at the Pyramid in the distance. What I remember is that the video talked about the cinematography and beautiful scenes/colours of that movie and how the cinematography was hand-in-hand as important as the writing of the whole series/movie itself. It may be an HBO series but I can't be too sure. I cant be too sure either if it's indie or just underrated, I think it might be made in the early 2000's. There was more interesting stuff in the cinematography but I cant remember specifically and I'm afraid of putting wrong details.
i can't say anything about the whole plot either but there were no "big name" celebrity actors, or at least ones in popular mainstream movies. However somewhere in the plot people (not sure if they were main characters or no) were being carved by some gang or something, but they had some Chinese letters on them. Another really big scene I specifically remember is that one character (in some kinda truck or like dark area) was interrogating another character, and torturing them in the process. At the end, the poor guy>! got his eye removed with a small teaspoon. ! Another blurred memory I have is a scene highlighted in the video I mentioned in the beginning of this long text. Two or three characters were in some sort of greenhouse, I can;t remember exactly. However part of this scenery was lighted (like light getting into some sorta old building in a vivid ray), and shining onto one character. The other character, however was in the dark. This cinematography reflected the characters, how one was in the dark (not knowing or something) and the other in the light (knowing of something specific). Something along the lines like that, but it had the light on a single character.
One random thing is that "The White Rabbit" or something along "The White ----" was a Topic or something that's important to the plot. It may be the drug/gang thing that did questionable things throughout the story.
Well that's all I can remember, sorry for the brain dump, but yeah. The Pyramid scene IIRC is also at the end/finalee of the show I think. Im leaning more on the side that its a series/show as well. Goodluck trying to find what I'm talking about, and no, I cant find that youtube video in my history anymore. Either it's gone, I deleted my history (oops) or I'm just not using the right keywords. Thanks!

A rather long post so apologies in advance.
Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you're reading this. Hoping everyone is well. I am looking for something serious, long-term, and genuine, preferably a relationship. We can start off as friends first if you'd prefer, with me hoping it'll turn into a romantical and loving connection the more we get to know each other. 🙏🏻

About me

I'm an ambivert, which is a mix of both an introvert and an extrovert, sometimes I prefer to spend time alone, and sometimes I prefer being with other people. I'm financially and mentally stable, and I know what I want in life. I am a British citizen born and located in England, UK who can only speak English but willing to learn new languages. I don't smoke or do any drugs, but I occasionally drink once every few weeks at the club, which isn't a bad thing if one is responsible with it. I am a straight male. I'm very loyal and faithful but also extremely cautious as I always end up getting hurt one way or another, and my zodiac sign is Cancer ♋ for those of you who are interested in that sort of thing; I was born on the 10th of July.

My hobbies / interests include

Listening to music, photography both indoors and outdoors, cycling with others 🚲, playing different sports such as badminton, bowling and cricket, watching series, movies, and TV shows such as MARVEL, Doctor Who, Hollyoaks (TV Soap), The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbits (just finished watching both), The Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. I also enjoy playing PC games such as GTA, RDR 2, and Minecraft in my spare time. Cats are absolutely ADORED by me, you probably won't find anyone else who adores cats as much as I do (my black void cat who recently passed away is lurking on my profile somewhere). I also like the look and am quite fond of tattoos even though I don't have any. I am thinking of getting one on the back of both of my hands in the future. Motorcycles / scooters (🛵) are also an interest of mine, I have a learners driver's licence and am thinking of purchasing one as soon as I've saved up.

I should probably mention key features of my physical appearance:

I'm 1.73m in height, I am white, with short dark brown hair, a small amount of facial hair, dark blue eyes, pale but clear skin, and a decently shaped body. I like to keep my body fit and healthy by eating good quality healthy food and going to the gym. I also wear normal clothes.
A favourite food(s) of mine is steak and lamb chops just to let everyone know. I am also not a very religious person, and the thought of being a parent in the future doesn't interest me all that much, in case any of these are deal breakers.
The only "date" I ever went on was 5 years ago at college. I would very much enjoy to go on more dates with someone new after so long. If there is a connection and a spark between us the more we talk and get to know each other, I would be more than happy to see where it takes us.

What I'm looking for

• Someone who is 20+, but not past the age of 30
• Someone who is loyal like me, who wouldn't ghost / block me out of the blue
• Someone who is also childfree
• Someone from the UK or within Europe preferably

If you have made it this far and are interested in knowing more / getting to know me, feel free to reach out and send me a message. If you can, please send me a PM message, since that functions better on Reddit apparently. Direct messaging can be so glitchy and slow at times, there's been more than a few instances where I've lost contact with people before because of this, which was unfortunate and quite frustrating for me.

A rather long post so apologies in advance.
Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you're reading this. Hoping everyone is well. I am looking for something serious, long-term, and genuine, preferably a relationship. We can start off as friends first if you'd prefer, with me hoping it'll turn into a romantical and loving connection the more we get to know each other. 🙏🏻

About me

I'm an ambivert, which is a mix of both an introvert and an extrovert, sometimes I prefer to spend time alone, and sometimes I prefer being with other people. I'm financially and mentally stable, and I know what I want in life. I am a British citizen born and located in England, UK who can only speak English but willing to learn new languages. I don't smoke or do any drugs, but I occasionally drink once every few weeks at the club, which isn't a bad thing if one is responsible with it. I am a straight male. I'm very loyal and faithful but also extremely cautious as I always end up getting hurt one way or another, and my zodiac sign is Cancer ♋ for those of you who are interested in that sort of thing; I was born on the 10th of July.

My hobbies / interests include

Listening to music, photography both indoors and outdoors, cycling with others 🚲, playing different sports such as badminton, bowling and cricket, watching series, movies, and TV shows such as MARVEL, Doctor Who, Hollyoaks (TV Soap), The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbits (just finished watching both), The Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. I also enjoy playing PC games such as GTA, RDR 2, and Minecraft in my spare time. Cats are absolutely ADORED by me, you probably won't find anyone else who adores cats as much as I do (my black void cat who recently passed away is lurking on my profile somewhere). I also like the look and am quite fond of tattoos even though I don't have any. I am thinking of getting one on the back of both of my hands in the future. Motorcycles / scooters (🛵) are also an interest of mine, I have a learners driver's licence and am thinking of purchasing one as soon as I've saved up.

I should probably mention key features of my physical appearance:

I'm 1.73m in height, I am white, with short dark brown hair, a small amount of facial hair, dark blue eyes, pale but clear skin, and a decently shaped body. I like to keep my body fit and healthy by eating good quality healthy food and going to the gym. I also wear normal clothes.
A favourite food(s) of mine is steak and lamb chops just to let everyone know. I am also not a very religious person, and the thought of being a parent in the future doesn't interest me all that much, in case any of these are deal breakers.
The only "date" I ever went on was 5 years ago at college. I would very much enjoy to go on more dates with someone new after so long. If there is a connection and a spark between us the more we talk and get to know each other, I would be more than happy to see where it takes us.

What I'm looking for

• Someone who is 20+, but not past the age of 30
• Someone who is loyal like me, who wouldn't ghost / block me out of the blue
• Someone who is also childfree
• Someone from the UK or within Europe preferably

If you have made it this far and are interested in knowing more / getting to know me, feel free to reach out and send me a message. If you can, please send me a PM message, since that functions better on Reddit apparently. Direct messaging can be so glitchy and slow at times, there's been more than a few instances where I've lost contact with people before because of this, which was unfortunate and quite frustrating for me.

A rather long post so apologies in advance.
Hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, wherever you're reading this. Hoping everyone is well. I am looking for something serious, long-term, and genuine, preferably a relationship. We can start off as friends first if you'd prefer, with me hoping it'll turn into a romantical and loving connection the more we get to know each other. 🙏🏻

About me

I'm an ambivert, which is a mix of both an introvert and an extrovert, sometimes I prefer to spend time alone, and sometimes I prefer being with other people. I'm financially and mentally stable, and I know what I want in life. I am a British citizen born and located in England, UK who can only speak English but willing to learn new languages. I don't smoke or do any drugs, but I occasionally drink once every few weeks at the club, which isn't a bad thing if one is responsible with it. I am a straight male. I'm very loyal and faithful but also extremely cautious as I always end up getting hurt one way or another, and my zodiac sign is Cancer ♋ for those of you who are interested in that sort of thing; I was born on the 10th of July.

My hobbies / interests include

Listening to music, photography both indoors and outdoors, cycling with others 🚲, playing different sports such as badminton, bowling and cricket, watching series, movies, and TV shows such as MARVEL, Doctor Who, Hollyoaks (TV Soap), The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbits (just finished watching both), The Simpsons, Family Guy and American Dad. I also enjoy playing PC games such as GTA, RDR 2, and Minecraft in my spare time. Cats are absolutely ADORED by me, you probably won't find anyone else who adores cats as much as I do (my black void cat who recently passed away is lurking on my profile somewhere). I also like the look and am quite fond of tattoos even though I don't have any. I am thinking of getting one on the back of both of my hands in the future. Motorcycles / scooters (🛵) are also an interest of mine, I have a learners driver's licence and am thinking of purchasing one as soon as I've saved up.

I should probably mention key features of my physical appearance:

I'm 1.73m in height, I am white, with short dark brown hair, a small amount of facial hair, dark blue eyes, pale but clear skin, and a decently shaped body. I like to keep my body fit and healthy by eating good quality healthy food and going to the gym. I also wear normal clothes.
A favourite food(s) of mine is steak and lamb chops just to let everyone know. I am also not a very religious person, and the thought of being a parent in the future doesn't interest me all that much, in case any of these are deal breakers.
The only "date" I ever went on was 5 years ago at college. I would very much enjoy to go on more dates with someone new after so long. If there is a connection and a spark between us the more we talk and get to know each other, I would be more than happy to see where it takes us.

What I'm looking for

• Someone who is 20+, but not past the age of 30
• Someone who is loyal like me, who wouldn't ghost / block me out of the blue
• Someone who is also childfree
• Someone from the UK or within Europe preferably

If you have made it this far and are interested in knowing more / getting to know me, feel free to reach out and send me a message. If you can, please send me a PM message, since that functions better on Reddit apparently. Direct messaging can be so glitchy and slow at times, there's been more than a few instances where I've lost contact with people before because of this, which was unfortunate and quite frustrating for me.

Latwii We are aware of that statement and that is correct, although not precisely so, for Hatonn is attempting to monitor a large area. Hatonn is working through a pyramid which lies within China and is attempting to draw energy from the Earth that has been put there many, many centuries ago in your time. It is attempting to remove the effects of that which has been maddening your peoples, a lust for…

Don Do you know if the Iranian riots were caused by ELF [inaudible]?
Latwii As this instrument would say, right on, brother.
Don Question number two. Are the Chinese invading primarily because of the ELF knowledge?
Latwii

Again, my brother, that is correct. The Russians are not being led by wise men and have a desire at this time to make good their promise to take over the Earth, and they have in their means at this time the power to do so, and they know that if they wait they will no longer have the power to do so, and they are gambling that the powers will not unleash the conventional nuclear weapons but, instead, will simply knuckle under. We, however, are aware that this is not likely, and so we are attempting to damp out these vibrations.

However, to do this without infringing upon free will is very difficult, and since it does not disturb the solar system or even the astral planes of your planet, we are having the same kind of difficulty that you would have in your court room if you were attempting to stop a murder before it was committed. We can see what is happening, but we cannot do very much about it. We hope that each of you will meditate on peace and pray that your peoples are not fooled by all of those things which occur in the weeks to come, and…
N What about Iran, the Russian invasion of Iran?
Latwii The Russians have invaded Iran, not with weapons but with psychotronic mind-control devices.
Don Is that where the pyramid is connected with the ELF weapon?
Latwii

This is correct. We have buried, deep inside each pyramid that we have put along the magnetic lines of force of the Earth, crystals which are capable of dampening these vibrations. However, the magnetic lines of force of the planet have shifted, and we are having difficulty in making them work, and we may not be able to do so. However, this is our plan.

N Is there anything we could do physically, such as helping the moving of the crystals? Is there anything of that sort that we could do that you all could not do?
Carla Got a passport?
N Really? It would really make a difference?
Latwii My brother, you could not do it, due to the fact that you could not get there. Yes, you could physically do it if you could get there, but…

Actually, no one but a very few even know where this pyramid is, and other pyramids around the Earth are likewise blocked by the governments that supposedly own them. Therefore, what you can basically do is on another plane, and it is, of course, just as important, and that is to be a good person within yourself, to meditate, and to love. And in that way you can add your light, and as so often said among your peoples, a little light in a great darkness shines a long way. Therefore, attempt to be a little light even though there is great darkness, and that will be the greatest help that you can be.
We have attempted to directly affect those who would be in a position to work with the pyramids and have been successful only partially. There are many pyramids that are lost or buried, due to floods and the forming of mountains.

N Which is the closest one to this house that you’re aware of?
Latwii The closest one to this house would probably be in Mexico.
N OK. That’s what I was wondering. Are you utilizing these at the present time? I mean, do you utilize all of them or just certain ones in the areas where the weapon is being used?
Latwii We would like to use them all as a belt of protection about the planet as it was designed to be used. However, we are utilizing the one in Egypt at this time, and it is not functioning properly, due to the two degree lack of unity with magnetic correctness. Therefore, the problem, shall we say, is larger than can be solved in the time we have left to solve it on your physical plane. What little can be done is being done by our thought processes working through the crystals which are in place. They are simply not properly aimed for the magnetic fluxes which are affecting your planet at this time.
N It wouldn’t help to get a hold—for Don or somebody to get down into Mexico and get hold of the crystal and, you know, move it two degrees? That wouldn’t help? It seems it would certainly be worth it as far as the masses of population are…
Latwii It has already been attempted by those other than Don and it has not been properly done.
At this point, our best bet is to meditate. We are not speaking here of a passive and, shall we say, a doomsaying attitude, for by meditation many of the cataclysms which could have struck California two years ago were averted, and they were directly due to the meditation of groups such as yours, and thus no lives have been lost in comparison to what would have happened had one large earthquake occurred instead of various small ones. We hope that this continues.
This is the same sort of result we are hoping for in these tensions provoked by the Russian’s weapons. We are hoping that people gradually will became able to deal with them one way or another without ever going over the edge to Armageddon. And this is what we are dealing with at this point. We are hoping that the end of the cycle will be relatively peaceful and that the birth of the new age will be easier than that of Armageddon.
N So the ELF weapon is counterbalanced by strong goodwill energy laid upon the same population that the weapon is being used on.
Latwii That is incorrect. There is no protection against this particular weapon by means of goodwill. We are attempting to send neutralization through the crystals to the weapon. The goodwill has to do with the spiritual planes of your planet which are not affected by this weapon. And on these spiritual planes dwell the higher selves of government leaders who are responsible for decisions involving the weaponry of which we speak. This is why meditation and goodwill is our best bet at this point. We are still speaking of people here, for they are the ones that use the weapons. Goodwill cannot affect that weapon, for it is a mind control device.
N Can people prevent the use of that weapon upon themselves through meditation?
Latwii No.
source text : https://assets.llresearch.org/transcripts/files/en/1979_0218.pdf

Scott Swift's email - reveals her dad spent north of $1M on lessons, travel, production, her website, etc. to get her started. He also purchased copies of her first song to get it higher on the charts. This link also talks about how Taylor pays reviewers for positive reviews, and also pays radio stations to keep playing her stuff.. Speaking of Daddy dearest, "MBW has obtained a subscription agreement between Big Machine Records LLC and Scott Swift, dated January 1, 2006, which grants Mr. Swift 416,666 common shares in the company plus 500,000 preferred shares, for a total price of USD $500,416.66." Link to article here's a comment I included that I found that helps summarize the situation
+"Scooter told Shamrock that Taylor’s re-records would happen and would do very well. He actually felt that their visibility in the marketplace would ultimately bump the ‘Big Machine’ catalog on streaming, not damage it, in the long-term." article about the masters sale and timeline here
+Sabotaging Beyonce's Film

• Ella Mae Bowen - tay gave Scott Borchetta an ultimatum to drop Ella from BMR as she felt threatened by her. Ruined Ella Mae’s career. Posts with more info. and this one tay took Ella's spot on The Hunger Games soundtrack, having 2 songs for herself in the end. Ella won a songwriting competition in 2014, 2 yrs after "Girl On Fire" with BMR, while tay's dad bought a $300k stake in BMR.
  
• Kim K - After Kanye released "Famous", tay's PR claimed "Kanye did not call for approval", tay then got exposed for lying by Kim releasing videos of the friendly phone conversation tay had with Kanye, on the call tay even said, "You guys wanna call this a feud, you wanna call this throwing shade. But right after the song comes out I'm gonna be on a Grammy red carpet and they're gonna ask me about it and I'm gonna be like, he called me."
  

Tay then changed her narrative saying the problem was being called a 'bitch', anyway tay shouldn't be telling the world Kim should be dead with "thanK you aIMee" almost ten years later.
A swiftie deleted their comment saying Kim edited the recording and that tay didn't lie. But it was obvious back then that tay was dishonest about the situation.
[However, the 26-year-old's released a statement saying, "you cannot approve a song you haven't heard".
Kim had previously claimed she had proof that a "phone convo" about the song had happened, because her husband was filming a documentary at the time.
Kim uploaded a series of videos to Instagram where Kanye appears to be talking to Taylor via a mobile phone's loudspeaker.
In one of the clips, Taylor says: "I'm really glad that you had the respect to call me ..."]
The 'bitch' thing is such a cop out. TS knows it's not derogatory usage. She screeches "Misogyny!" whenever it's convenient for her.
Also, in the transcript, she says:
[Taylor: You guys wanna call this a feud, you wanna call this throwing shade. But right after the song comes out I'm gonna be on a Grammy red carpet and they're gonna ask me about it and I'm gonna be like, he called me. Taylor: …awesome that you're so outspoken and it's gonna be like, Yea, she does, it made her famous! It's more provocative to say, Might still have sex. Taylor: …it's not. It doesn't matter to me. There's not one that hurts my feelings and one that doesn't.]
She wasn't bothered by the "still have sex" line on the call. She was probably planning to lie about being called the whole time.

• reputation release date - is suspiciously the 10th anniversary of Donda West's death, Kanye's mother.

+She believes the most consequential accident of her professional life was when Kanye West famously stormed the stage during her acceptance speech at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. I’m surprised when she brings this up unprompted, because she has barely addressed the incident in five years, aside from the (comically undisguised) song “Innocent.” But fences have been mended and feelings have been felt. At this summer’s VMAs, Swift warmly presented West with the Video Vanguard trophy.link

• Chart/release blocking - tay has done this to at least Katy, Lil Nas X, SZA, and now Billie Eilish. Katy's Witness with Spotify return same day, Lil Nas X debut album Montero with Wildest Dreams (Taylor's Version) by itself same day, SZA's SOS with new album versions of Midnights, Billie's HMHAS with limited drop of first draft phone memos of TTPD.

Hi All - Has anyone gone through this? Or see patterns of aspects of this in their own journey? Words of encouragement? Words Of wisdom? Questions, resources that could become helpful along My path. Will be welcome. Thank you.
Context: I’ve never reached out for support on a Narcissism thread as I never thought it was constructive to label myself a “victim” (or even “survivor”) although I’ve discussed it with counselors at times and discuss the patterns in therapy… to me getting into labeling about narcissism in my parents (rather than just observing the patterns) can feel defeatist and easy to drop into shadow and continue the pattern on as the “victimizer” of my parents, or sibling or others (I want to be a “cycle breaker” not “perpetuator” - that is my commitment hell or highwater to heal to the point where I will bring love to all parts of me and others even the parts of both my parents that bring me the most deep suffering at times…and strike the balance, create and hold the boundaries, and going my way with conviction and integrity
Here is my journey in a nut shell
-severe mental health, and spiritual/psychic opening/out of body experienced followed by psychosis and major unraveling, hospitalization, psych meds, and then back home as adult child/patient - all happened during emergence of COVID and then lockdown happened and lived during 3+ years mostly with my parents… in a very harrowing, psychological, and emotionally toxic environment (titratinf slowly off meds, which was total hellish experience) -during this period living with my parents, I was much much more highly attuned than I ever was growing up to the shadow of myself and my parents, and I felt like I was living in a prison, where the physical limitation’s paled in comparison to the torture of the psychological and emotional construction and manipulation -a very “successful” career in tech (before this psychic opening/“break”) lead to extreme burn out leading to the above …haven’t worked in 8 years -chronic illness (mold illness, significant CPTSD symtoms, hypersensitizarion) -severe history of a parent with gastrointestinal issues, cancers, NDEs (covert narcissist suspected, master manipulator, ONLY person who sees it or is onto the pattern is me, I personally don’t like labeling My parents as I don’t like being labeled, plus I’m not quite clear This parent is a classic covert narcissist…) and another parent overextending OCD, aggressive no boundaries, psychological manipulation around the narcissist -some of the hardest things about the impact of living with my parents while my sibling doesn’t see it is I am hypervigilant and feel like I internalize or reflect back or absorb the energy of these personality subtypes in me -sibling who is very successful, major CEO/Founder, 2 kids, home owner, majorly influential in her field worldwide…and has a lot of power and influence, even potentially overtaking the narcissist but also very close to the narcissist who also does NOT believe you when you share the severe “bullying”, micromanagement, control, pathology, psychological manipulation, gaslighting - when shared in a pattern oriented approach on MY experience rather than blame. -two parents who don’t seem to be stable or healthy (I’m only one who sees it or actually has been on inside of their mental/emotional patterns that they NEVER as how to outside world and cracks show once in a while to my sister but it’s like Jekyll and Hyde to outside world including brother in law) and I feel both obligated/trapped and feel purposeful/patient in being there (because they want to move and sell their house 3 months after my dad had emergency gastonintestinal surgery and recently my mom had a minor surgery…so it’s scary….they don’t seem stable…but I’m suffering from mold illness from a different place I was recently living (which is why I came back)…and it’s supportive physically until I find a place and figure out how to navigate until I do and make a positive impact on my family and for my self…. -as a result of there is this push and pull to being back and forth from coming and going to live there and in the space. -feeling like I’m actually the only sane one in the whole family system, and the other members have some unconscious bond to the dysfunctional patterns (and feels like an obstacle course to avoid being noticed that I am trying to unlearn these things while pretending I’m actually not aware of them?!)
I am navigating by doing the following: -getting a great somatic CPTSD, spiritual awakening aware, and trauma informed therapist (had one, who was my person, retired 5 months ago) -For first 2 years out of hosptial I did a lot of somatic trauma therapy, and ton of personal inNer work and journaling, and rewiring of my own brain and creative work -Got into a very deep practice of Chinese martial arts and energy work until I got really sick with mold illness, immune/nervous system, chronic dysregulation -found my way into functional medicine but it was not their approach for me to externalize my healing process to Dr. And try and manipulate my body to hear from supplements -Primal Trust nervous system regulation program which has helped a lot with my physical and mental challenges -hoping to go back to school to be a trauma therapist or chaplain at the hospital, or spiritual teacher of sorts, or author (the hardest thing for me is to swallow my story, do not feel expressed, to feel repressed, suggestively/subtle suggestion to “stay in line”) -want to publish book of poetry -want to get first part time job -lived in a studio on my own for longest stretch since hospitalization -got back into open mics and singing, and reconnecting with old friends and spiritual community when not dealing with chronic stress or psychological mental shutdown or overstimulation. -navigating and struggling with mold illness and working on my nervous system regulation program to try and detox, and heal as well as be open to sauna and medical treatment if I need (but moved from Studio and hope to move from Area when parents settle but it’s a tender time so thinking of getting a temp place for now near my parents and boundaries and balance, and finding external support -went on my first vaca in 6 years -reading Pete Walker surviving to thriving CPTSD. -have daily practice, grounding, breath work, prayer, nervous system regulation, brain retraining -overall super proud of myself - been a harrowing, and terrifying and lonely and beautiful and profound an incredible Journey
Any encouragement, resonance with my story, clarifying questions, reflections, resources welcome

I’m not entirely sure where a good place to put this is, but maybe around a year or so ago I found this rock in my front yard in the bushes. It had been there since I believe I moved in but I’m not entirely sure, but one day I flipped it over and found this. It’s almost like it’s Japanese or Chinese or something but I failed to translate it. https://imgur.com/a/E2qzru4

I’ve been seeing these short Cdrama popping in my social media. The names are westernised so I don’t know the true name of the series... It’s called “Thistles and Thorns - Her Rise to the Top”
The FL is called “Rose Yale” and her sister was sadly murdered at the start of the series by their family bullying. The FL enters the kingdom as a concubine, pretends to have rashes, but is actually very smart although she appears very innocent. She always seems to wear light blue.
The other concubines called “Lady Fiona” try to bully her, and there’s “Lady Anna” who is a cunning concubine who bullies and gets rid of other girls who the King favours. In one short episode the FL rises to a royal concubine next to the Queen.
That’s where I’m up to now… trying to find the real Chinese name of this series and where I’m able to watch it? Thanks!!

I attempted to go enjoy camping near a river where there’s a small long forest. It’s still got city around it but big enough to be scary at night. Before i got to the forest I stood about a soccer field back from it where it’s just a flat farmers field and still where the houses were close wondering do I dare to this I’m scared. While I was standing making a choice I heard a persons voice but did not see them. I heard “woot woot” I assumed it was maybe on other side of river as there’s a dog park there and that I’d be fine but I still questioned maybe that came from my side of river and that bad people might hurt me I eventually carried on. I went part way from my hosue on my e scooter but then hid my scooter and walked in forest as rolling that over tree roots or carrying is difficult and I was already carrying tent in a bag. I barley got in forest and heard what sound like a animal screaming like it just got bit by another animal. And then another sound that was like a scary Aztec whistle. There’s no way this was all made up in my mind and there’s no way I was mentally prepared for this I sadly turned back feeling like a wimp I really wanted to be brave enough n enjoying camping in the woods to tell ppl that I’m brave but fear of the idea I could get hurt was too scary for me.

It seems that when asked whether someone should go for herbals or for antibiotics, many people on this forum answer “do both”. I started a slightly modified Buhner protocol two months ago and I would like to add traditional antibiotics. I haven’t really noticed improvements with herbals yet, but I know it takes time and that some of the continuing symptoms I’m experiencing may be die-off symptoms. Anyway, I have trust in herbal protocols and intend to keep them as my foundation, but I feel antibiotics can help and I’m wondering how best to use them as an add-on.
The obvious answer would be to follow my doctor’s recommendations, but there are no LLMDs where I live. I found a doctor that knows a little about Lyme and that is open-minded, and I can get antibiotic prescriptions from her. But ultimately, I’ll be the one deciding when and how to use them.
Some practical info :

• I had symptoms for 12 years, mostly brain fog and fatigue
• currently taking : Japanese knotweed, Cat’s Claw, Red Sage, Chinese skullcap, Gou Teng, Houttuynia, Banderol, oregano oil (just started, very low dose for the moment)
• I’m going to start Cefuroxime for one month, mainly as a test to see if it helps ; I know I won’t get cured from that.

More precisely, I am wondering :

1. Are there any interactions between the herbs I’m taking and antibiotics? I only know about Chinese Skullcap slowing down the elimination of many drugs.
2. Should I lower the dose of Cefuroxime, considering the fact that many herbs I’m taking are also antimicrobials and it will add up? The one I was prescribed is 500mg twice daily.
3. I like the idea of taking herbals continuously as the foundation while using antibiotics intermittently to avoid side effects ; if you had to design an ideal schedule for that what would it look like?

Thanks !

Thank you guys for all your nice comments on my previous post! Here's my followup post walking through the anthology - I apologize for the delay, but I wanted to sit with this half of the album a bit longer. This analysis will be slightly different: first I’ll go through themes present throughout the anthology, and then walk through each song individually, since it’s not as consecutive of a story as the first album. As with my first analysis, I tend to also stay away from literal details as proof that a song is about a certain subject or muse – to me, it’s easier to understand the album when you think first about what the song’s overarching meaning is, rather than getting caught up in literal details (and I think Taylor often throws these in as red herrings). Moreover, it’s important to note that it’s likely that the literal detail she’s thrown in is one that only she and the muse will understand (i.e. her referencing a lilac skirt in imgonnagetyouback is unlikely to be one we’ve ever seen her wearing in public, so it’s useless to paternity test based on that detail!).
Firstly, the word anthology means a collection of assorted literary works. As a result, I think there are more themes scattered through this album, and it’s meant to be a little harder to parse than the first one. I think this album is what TTPD would have been before it crystallized into a tighter theme – similar to the 3 AM tracks for Midnights, the majority of which were written prior to the standard edition’s tracks.
There are a few themes throughout this album. From a romantic context, to me, this album is primarily about Joe. I’ll walk through why I believe that, but this album feels less muddled to me in terms of its muses, and I think that is in part due to the fact that her self-described mania from the standard edition is not a theme on the anthology. This work also covers her own relationship to celebrity and fame, and how that affects her romantic relationships and her personal life in general. And finally, I think the final theme throughout this collection is the idea of childhood, of formative experiences, and how our author goes about processing events that happen to her.
The Black Dog
What happens when you intimately know someone, when you share every aspect of your life with someone, and then it's over? Six weeks after their breakup, she’s barely holding it together (“I move through the world with the heartbroken”). She even tried to rebound her pain away (“I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary”), and wasn’t able to succeed. Meanwhile, she sees him go to a bar, and she has the sudden realization that he may be able to do what she failed to do – he might be able to move on, with someone new. Reckoning with that realization is horrifying. If he is able to pull it off, what does that mean about the love they shared? When he had told her for years that he was who he was for her, and her alone?
You said I needed a bravе man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
How could they go from being so intimate that they shower together, that she’s aware of his every move, to being so distant from each other that she wonders if making her fall in love with him was a hazing? And the cruelest part of it is – she doesn’t want either one of them to be able to move on, and give validity to the fact that they weren’t right for each other, even though she knows they have to. Moreover, she’s already *tried* to move on at this point, and failed – she tried to manufacture a counterfeit version of their intimacy, but what if he’s able to perfectly replicate it? And to really drive in the knife, what if it’s with someone younger than her?
And you jump up, but she's too young to know this song
That was intertwined in the magic fabric of our dreaming
Given that a theme throughout the first album was her feeling like she’d given him so much of her youth, so much of her childbearing years, with nothing to show for it, what does it feel like to know that he can essentially reset time, by being with a younger woman, but she’ll never be able to get that time back?
imgonnagetyouback
We know that her and Joe took a break or two while they were together (see: Hits Different, The Great War, in addition to PR articles). To me, this song is about when you do take that break from your partner, and you’re trying to make a point to them that they’re not going to find anyone better than you (I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean) – the two of you are too intimately intertwined to find a suitable replacement. You know what to wear, what to say, what to do to bring them back to you:
I, I hear thе whispers in your eyes
I'll make you wanna think twice
You'll find that you were never not mine
This song also has a lot of similarities to So Long, London, which is why I attribute it to Joe. To me, it provides a deeper story to some of the lines she touches on in So Long, London:
I didn't opt in to be your odd man out
I founded the club she's heard great things about
And to some of the lines in Hits Different:
I washed my hands of us at the club
You made a mess of me
I pictured you with other girls in love
Then threw up on the street
//
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl
imgonnagetyouback is a story of one-upmanship – of trying to out-jealous your partner, of proving to them that nobody knows them better than you do. And maybe this time when they’re both playing this game, it works:
Push the reset button, we're becomin' something new
Say you got somebody, I'll say I got someone too
Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you
//
We broke all the pieces, but still wanna play the game (Oh)
Told my friends I hate you, but I love you just the same
Pick your poison, babe, I'm poison either way
The spacing to me is a deliberate red herring (the 1975 very famously made a song called fallingforyou), and a way to illustrate that the subject of the song wants space from her – but she’s not going to give it to him. This is another theme that calls back to Joe – in So Long, London, she describes him as constantly pulling away (Pulled him in tighter each time he was driftin' away). Matty didn’t pull away – he was all in for two weeks, until he chose to ghost her, and leave abruptly. There was no slow death, no push and pull to her relationship with Matty – it was a meteoric rise and fall.
The Albatross
This song feels like a sister song to “peace” – she describes what it’s like to love her. It’s a little more twisted, however, as she describes her love for her partner as both a danger, and a rescue from the danger she’s imposing on him by being involved with him:
Wise men once said
"Wild winds are death to the candle"
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her
She’s described herself as wind and liquor in her relationship with Joe previously, in Mastermind:
I'm the wind in our free-flowing sails
And the liquor in our cocktails
She has empathy for the narrator, but disdain for herself. There’s also acceptance though: she knows that she tried to prevent it, and tried to warn him about the danger she posed. In the end though, he chose this life with her, and he chose the danger – there’s only so much she can protect him from.
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus
This song feels like another sister song to The Black Dog – how does she cope with the idea that her long-time partner might move on? How does she cope with the fact that if she chooses to leave, she also chooses the future in which they both move on? A future in which they don’t know each other? It also touches on her wondering if she should move on with Matty, and how feasible it would be to know someone else instead of her partner:
If you want to tear my world apart
Just say you've always wondered
This song, more than anything else, illustrates that moving on with Matty was nothing but a way to move past Joe – what she really wants, more than anything, is a response greater than indifference from Joe:
As the decade would play us for fools
And you saw my bones out with somebody new
Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school
And you just watched it happen
There’s also the realization that Joe may never love who she is now – who she was at the beginning of their relationship will always be who he prefers:
If you want to break my cold, cold heart
Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'
She’s trying desperately to find some way to make up for the fact that she had to leave Joe, that there was nothing she could do to stay – she tried changing everything about herself, but still, the need to leave him eventually caught up with her:
I changed into goddesses, villains and fools
Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules
All to outrun my desertion of you
And you just watched it
And she wonders whether despite his indifference, and the distance between them, she should still stay:
Could it be enough to just float in your orbit
Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses
Cooler in theory but not if you force it
To be, it just didn't happen
But now, they are merely ghosts of who they once were – it’s not possible to force the relationship anymore.
How Did It End?
When a long-term relationship ends, you can point to the factors that led to its demise: a difference of opinions on money, on marriage, on children, and so forth. It is easy to determine the “what” and the “why” of an ending. But what is harder to diagnose is how you both became the versions of yourselves that weren’t on the same page, that were unable to discuss these topics, that couldn’t move past these dilemmas. That is much, much harder to pinpoint, and this is the question Taylor asks in this song. She knows what killed them:
We hereby conduct this post-mortem
He was a hot house flower to my outdoorsman
//
We were blind to unforeseen circumstances
We learn the right steps to different dances (ohh)
And fell victim to interlopers' glances
Lost the game of chance, what are the chances?
But what she still doesn't know is how it happened – how did it end? She also finds the empathy from the media and from the public to be false and selfish – they only want to know what happened to feverishly spread the news like wildfire.
Come one, come all
It's happenin' again
The empathetic hunger descends
We'll tell no one
Except all of our friends
We must know
How did it end?
//
Soon they'll go home to their husbands
Smug 'cause they know they can trust him
Then feverishly calling their cousins (ohh)
//
Say it once again with feeling
What the feeding frenzy wants more than anything is gossip, and they don’t care that she is utterly lost – lost as to why this happened, and lost physically and mentally:
Guess who we ran into at the shops?
Walking in circles like she was lost
How does she give an answer to quell the empathetic hunger, when she herself doesn’t understand exactly how it happened?
So High School
In an album that touches so much on feeling like she’s running out of time to have the future that she wants, and running out of youth to give the various men who come into her life, it is interesting and heartwarming that the song about Travis on the anthology is one that describes being with him as regaining her youth:
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
Moreover, another detail to note in this song is the difference in how she describes alcohol and drugs – in nearly every other song on TTPD, alcohol is a vice she uses in her moments of despair, and drugs are what her previous partners turn to in their moments of strife (she also describes the influence of drugs on her partners as something she detests – “sinking in stoned oblivion” and “you needed me but you needed drugs more”). With Travis, she’s not imbibing in any substances – instead, his thoughts and jokes are enough for her:
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
Travis is giving her back her youth, making sober promises, and the impression that we get is that they’re building this dreamlike reality together – it’s wholesome, all-American, and high-school-inspired, yet still grounded in something tangible, unlike the promise of fate and destiny, which powered her relationship with Joe and her entanglement with Matty.
I Hate It Here
More than anything, I think this song illustrates how Taylor sometimes uses escapism and maladaptive daydreaming to ignore the reality of the situation she’s dealing with. She recognizes that it’s not possible to stay where she is, locked inside this prison of stagnation and boredom:
If comfort is a construct
I don't believe in good luck
Now that I know what's what
She recognizes that this isn’t what she used to be, and that she never intended to choose this life of secrecy, perhaps alluding to all those years she spent “locked inside her house”:
You see I was a debutante in another life but
Now I seem to be scared to go outside
She describes herself as finding hope in the places her mind creates (seemingly alluding to her creation of characters and places for folklore and evermore):
I hate it here so I will go to
secret gardens in my mind
People need a key to get to
The only one is mine
I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child
And her escapism into her past, and imaginings of what could have been in Midnights:
I hate it here so I will go to
Lunar valleys in my mind
When they found a better planet
Only the gentle survived
I dreamed about it in the dark
The night I felt like I might die
All throughout the song, there’s recognition that she doesn’t want to be here – she doesn’t want to feel as if the only place she can be free is in these imaginary worlds she creates. But there’s also concession – is she perhaps only destined for an eternal consolation prize? For loneliness? For imagined romanticism? For the fantasy of how she imagined her life and her love to be?
I'm lonely but I'm good
I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine
I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on
purpose
This place made me feel worthless
Lucid dreams like electricity, the current flies through me,
and in my fantasies I rise above it
And way up there, I actually love it
​​thanK you aIMee
This song, along with a few others in the latter half of the anthology, discusses the loss of innocence she felt in key moments of her life. This one quite obviously alludes to Kim Kardashian, and their infamous feud. I will make a separate post on this, but I think people describing this song as petty may not remember the depth of the hate aimed at Taylor in 2016. Kim and Kanye organized a revenge porn music video for Famous, and held a museum exhibit so that people could take pictures with the naked dolls. The night the snapchat videos were released, every Kardashian family member descended upon social media to gleefully celebrate the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty. The amount of hate Taylor got was so unprecedented that Instagram actually built their comment filtration system because of this incident. It really was that bad.
And every baby step Taylor took (for example, even just posting that she had a good 2017 was met with immediate media backlash) was quite literally mocked across the internet. People thought the reputation era was cringey, that she was over, and that she deserved everyone’s ire because she was “proven” to be a liar. She describes this in the song:
Each time that Aimee stomped across my grave
And then she wrote headlines in the local paper
Laughing at each baby step I'd take
And it was always the same searing pain
But the whole time, despite the pain and blood, she was dreaming of the day that she would heal, and dreaming of the day that she would climb her way back to to the mountaintop:
And our town, it looks so small from way up here
//
So I pushed each boulder up that hill
Your words were still just ringing in my head, ringing in my head
What still irks her though, is that this bully who created this entire hate train and organized her downfall will pretend as if it never happened – she will undoubtedly reframe things to make our subject seem overdramatic, petty, and unable to move past the incidents of years ago. Taylor, however, has always been clear about one thing: sometimes, no amount of time can heal you from something that deeply traumatized you.
I Look in People’s Windows
This song to me feels like a sister song to The Black Dog, but a few months after the official end of a relationship. A sub theme that runs through Taylor’s songs about the Joe breakup is the loss of being understood – when you are no longer with a long-term partner, how do you cope with the fact that you move through the world knowing everything about this person, but at the same time, not knowing them anymore? Would you peek into their windows just to get a glimpse of what their life looks like now? As anyone who has gone through a breakup knows, the hardest part is often not being privy to the mundane details of that person’s world – their dinner parties, their wine, their friends, and so on.
I look in people's windows
Transfixed by rose golden glows
They have their friends over to drink nice wine
I look in people's windows
In case you're at their table
What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy
The Prophecy is devastating. More so than any other song Taylor has ever written, it is full of desperation and longing. All she asks for is to be known, to be understood – to not be perceived as an idea of a woman, or a starlet with no humanity:
Please
I've been on my knees
Change the prophecy
Don't want money
Just someone who wants my company
Let it once be me
Who do I have to speak to
About if they can redo
The prophecy?
It’s striking especially considering how much she laments that leaving Joe means she’s giving up being known – it’s also striking given the fact that in the epilogue poem, she states that neither Joe or Matty ever truly knew her:
He never even scratched the surface
of me.
None of them did.
What she desires beyond fame, beyond notoriety, beyond money, is to be loved and to be known. The song also alludes to her being in therapy, and to finding some sort of consolation that she will find someone to share her life with:
I'm so afraid I sealed my fate
No sign of soulmates
I'm just a paperweight
In shades of greige
Spending my last coin so someone will tell me
It'll be ok
Cassandra
This track is a sister song to ​​thanK you aIMee, and continues exploring the theme of fraught public womanhood we see in Clara Bow and Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me. In this song, Taylor discusses how the validation of women is never publicized in the way that the crucifixion of them is:
When the first stone's thrown, there's screaming
In the streets, there's a raging riot
When it's "Burn the bitch, " they're shrieking
When the truth comes out, it's quiet
Moreover, when women speak up about an issue, they’re often viewed as overdramatic, and unserious. Cassandra, in Greek mythology, was cursed by Apollo to always predict the future accurately, but never be believed. We see this happen every day to women in politics, in the media, and in pop culture:
So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
So, they set my life in flames, I regret to say
Do you believe me now?
And for Taylor, it’s reminiscent of all the times she’s been the first to speak out about something in the industry – for example, against Scooter Braun and his well-established pattern of bullying, or of the exploitation of artists on streaming services – but never been supported broadly by her peers. They believe her later, but at that point, very few people give her the credit for speaking up in the first place. It’s reminiscent of the Kimye scandal. When the news broke originally, the hatred she received was widespread. But when she was acquitted by the long-form video that leaked, it didn’t receive anywhere near the level of coverage that the original scandal received.
Peter
Peter is another song that touches on both the male muses for this album, and in turn, on the promises various men have given her over her life (we’ll circle back to this in The Manuscript!). It also touches on the theme of waiting that’s seen throughout this album, especially on her songs about Joe – how much time is enough time to give?
Both Matty and Joe were 25 when they met her, and it’s abundantly clear that both men made promises to her: promises of marriage, of children, and of a future. But how long can she wait for these promises to be fulfilled? To Joe, she gives six years of her life and youth, and to Matty, she gives him a chance to prove that he was reformed from the time she knew him last: both men eventually fail. Neither man is ready to give up their childish whims, and she has no choice but to lose hope that either of them ever will.
And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25
And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired
Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life
Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried
To hold onto the days when you were mine
But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light
Another thing to note is the interesting double meaning of the song title. To peter also means to diminish gradually – much like her faith in both men’s promises.
The Bolter
A lot of the songs Taylor has written about Joe in this album deal with the question of “when is the right time to leave?” When you know that things are stagnant, and you know that you’ve given everything you have to a relationship, you know that you have to leave – but it’s easy to convince yourself if you have a history of “leaving before you get left” that you should ride out this wave, and that this pain might just be temporary.
The Bolter, to me, reflects on Taylor’s history – it seems like she prided herself on being able to see the warning signs, and being able to get out in time.
She's been many places with
Men of many faces
First, they're off to the races
And she's laughing drawin' aces
But, none of it is changin'
That the chariot is waitin'
Hearts are hers for the breakin'
There's an escape in escaping
It’s relevant to TTPD, because likely, she saw not bolting as a sign of growth and maturity. You know that you’ve grown as a person when you don’t abandon ship at the first sign of trouble, but what if there are so many signs of trouble that the truly mature thing to do would be to leave?
Robin
Robin leads into this theme of childhood and innocence that we see further in The Manuscript. The track name is also the name of Aaron Dessner’s child. She ponders how beautiful and sweet it is that we work so hard to protect childhood naivete:
Strings tied to levers,
slowed down clocks tethered,
all this showmanship
To keep it, for you,
In sweetness
And there’s an element of wistfulness to it – don’t we sometimes wish that we could also be protected from the worst the world has to offer?
You have no room in your dreams for regrets
You have no idea
The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean
You'll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline
But now we'll curtail your curiosity
The Manuscript
This song is perhaps the most climactic song on the album. It covers her romantic history up until that point, and starts at the moment she feels everything went awry – and it predates Joe and Matty. Instead, it calls back to the first time she experienced a proper heartbreak, and the first time she lost her childlike innocence in the world – her relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal (a time she described as her transition from childhood to womanhood). She describes how they compared licenses, and how he told her that if they had sex, and it was as good as the conversation was, then they would get married, and have a family. He was the first man to make her these promises:
He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was
Soon they'd be pushin' strollers
But soon it was over
He tells her that it’s ok that they have an age gap, because she’s so advanced for her age:
She thought about how he said since she was so wise beyond her years
Everything had been above board
She wasn't sure
While dating him, she desperately wants to be older, and starts emulating his behavior:
In the age of him, she wished she was thirty
And made coffee every morning in a French press
And when it’s over, she regresses, and turns back into a child – unable to sleep alone without the comfort of her mother, and unable to eat anything substantial besides the sugary cereal of her youth:
Afterwards she only ate kids' cereal
And couldn't sleep unless it was in her mother's bed
She forces herself to date boys her own age, to not rely on the maturity of an older man to guide her through adulthood, but she can’t help but feel disappointed in their youth:
Then she dated boys who were her own age
With dart boards on the backs of their doors
Finally, as she creates the All Too Well short film, she recognizes the damage he did to her, and how the consequences of that affair have shaped her life since:
And the years passed
Like scenes of a show
The Professor said to write what you know
Lookin' backwards
Might be the only way to move forward
Then the actors
Were hitting their marks
And the slow dance
Was alight with the sparks
And the tears fell
In synchronicity with the score
And at last
She knew what the agony had been for
Everything calls back to this first man, and these original promises – everything she’s been chasing since is reminiscent of this first scar. And just like how releasing All Too Well transformed and healed her, she hopes that by releasing this additional manuscript into the world, it will heal her again. As she describes in the epilogue poem, she is entering all her thoughts, emotions, and pain into evidence – she now asks the audience to process it with her, and thus conclude this process of healing.
The only thing that's left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
If you read all of this - thank you! I enjoyed writing it, and I'm excited to discuss with you all in the replies :)

Family owned Chinese restaurant. Been there for about 10ish months.
I kept trying to wait till I lined up another job but too much accumulated and I said fuck it and quit. I was always reliable and did the job to the best of my ability. I could take about 5ish tables at a time. I was average.

• They told me I could have more hours in the summer but then hired a new girl the week of my exams and wouldn’t give the hours anymore.
  
• The owner didn’t like me. She called me the wrong name. Snapped at me a lot. Would physically move me instead of asking me to move etc.
  
• The Sunday crowd was where I got most of the complaints. It’s old entitled middle class people who ate a fuck ton of the free fried chips wonton things.
  
• the new girl, who had only been there a month, complained about the way I did rags. She also tried to make me look bad by tattling. I told her this person is more strict than that person and apparently she told that person that.
  
• There was other shit but the final straw when my boss sent me a text Monday, my off day and Memorial Day. It was an angry paragraph with rude tone and a bunch of exclamation marks. It said what I was wearing was inappropriate even though I had worn it before and she hadn’t said anything. She also said someone complained about me even though I never heard anything about it. She said if I get one more complaint I’ll know I’m not meant for service. All of my complaints had come from shitty church people. I think I had 3 complaints in my 10 months.
  

Anyway, I said fuck this shit and gave a little less than a weeks notice. I have three job interviews coming up. One at a hotel restaurant that sounds pretty good.
I was planning on keeping that job when I got another one but tbh I think it was hindering me from getting a second job because of limited availability.
Kinda glad I quit. That drama isn’t my problem anymore.

I have this outboard preamp that I’ve been using to add additional gain and EQ options pre interface. Currently using an SSL 2 as my interface into a MacBook Pro running logic. I’ve had no issues with this preamp running an AT4050, sm57, ev 635a. I’ve used both channels with my dynamic mics recording both channels at once. Never used both channels with phantom power as I didn’t have two condensers. Just bought a Lewitt LCT 040 to try out a cheap SDC and I’m running into issues when I use it through the preamp. When I plug it into the preamp and use phantom power, the channel produces only a loud buzz/hiss. The mic is still capturing signal but it is extremely distorted and indiscernible through all the background hiss and buzz. When I run the 040 directly into my interface and use phantom power from the interface, no problems whatsoever. Since I’m not having problems running phantom power with the preamp when I use my AT4050, I have no idea where the issue could be. It seems like this preamp and mic don’t get along but I don’t have enough knowledge in this area to figure out why. Any input or suggestions I could get to troubleshoot this issue would be most helpful.
I’ve tried all sorts of different cables, used both channels on the preamp and the results are always the same. Thank you for any help you can give.
I should also add that the LEDs for the preamp’s phantom power switches haven’t worked since I got it. I tried changing the fuse in the back to see if this might be the issue but the LEDs still aren’t lighting up. Not sure if this might be related.