I wanted to say thank you to all the Dashers out there that make the service possible. I live in an apartment and due to some health issues I can't always cook for myself. I also recently lost my car in an accident, so unless I'm taking a ride to work I'm pretty much homebound. Door Dash and other delivery services are the only way I can consistently get meals and groceries without walking up hills for a mile. I can't always tip a lot (low income) but I try to pick short-distance routes to compensate. You guys are essential workers that deserve a lot better pay and benefits. I know "thank you" doesn't pay the bills, but please know that you are appreciated and your hard work doesn't go unnoticed :)

I am relocating for work and need to purchase a new car.
I have a budget of £3000, and will be doing a mix of motorway and city driving. I’d prefer petrol as I live in a ULEZ zone. I would like something reliable, good for cruising on the motorway but also something that’s fun/interesting to drive.
I have narrowed down some options but I am unsure of the best choice, and would welcome some advice!
Mini Cooper S Checkmate 2006 (92k miles, warranty, full service before purchase, MOT til October 2024). £2999 from a dealership
Mazda 3 2.0 Sport Euro 5 2011 (106k miles, service record only up to 30k miles, newly serviced, MOT til May 2025, warranty included included parts and labour. £2850 from a dealership
Volkswagen Golf 2008 1.4 TSI GT Sport (77k miles, MOT til May 2025, FSH, serviced every 6000 miles and timing chain changed twice). £2750 - private seller
Would be interested to hear any other options that might be worth exploring.
Thanks all.

***ads play and podcast starts at 1:47
Intro (Timestamp: 1:47) - Rachel: Welcome back to another episode of Rachel Goes Rogue. This is your host, Rachel Savannah Leviss. Today, we are talking about part three of the Vanderpump Rules reunion. - Rachel: It has finally come to an end, season 11. It's been a long time coming, and we're here to react. I have my producers with me, and as usual, they will be asking me some questions to get my perspective on what we just watched during the reunion.
Well, first of all, I want to start off with asking you just your overall thoughts on the reunion, watching it. How do you feel? (Timestamp: 2:19) - Rachel: Overall, I just feel tired at this point. I don't enjoy watching this show, and (Rachel starts to get emotional) I'm just happy that it's over. It was good that they didn't talk about me very much this last episode, part three. - Rachel: That's great, but it's been really difficult watching each week. And I feel like I can finally start to move on from all of this, because it's been really difficult. It was really heavy and sad. - Rachel: And I think everyone on that cast is struggling. And I would be too if I was there. I mean, I'm struggling just watching it from the sidelines, so I can only imagine what it's like being on that stage.
So you're getting really emotional right now. Where is this emotion coming from? (Timestamp: 3:28) - Rachel: It's coming from a place of feeling like I haven't had much room to go. Feeling like stuck between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Because this entire time, I have been preparing for them to slander my name, to paint me in the worst light. - Rachel: And my goal with this podcast was to be able to represent myself, to defend myself, to share what I've learned through my time that I took away and my recovery, and just to shed more light on the situation. - Rachel: And it hasn't been easy. It's been an extreme rollercoaster of emotions in a lot of different phases, getting sucked back into it, and then feeling like all consumed by all the comments and everything, and then completely cutting off communication with the outside world and living in my own reality in the moment. It's all about that balance, and it has not been easy to move on. - Rachel: I don't think it's been easy for any of the cast to move on rehashing it and talking about it and having other people tune in. It's not typical. It's not normal. And the day has finally come that the show, season 11, is over, and it's a relief to me because I don't have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. - Rachel: I don't have to think about what lies they're going to spread about me, and I don't have to think about what I need to defend myself about. And then following week, I feel like I can finally start to live my life again.
And so you're kind of talking about the boundaries that you've been setting by staying away and cutting people off, which obviously boundaries was a really big topic at the reunion. You obviously set some really strong ones by not returning to the show. What's your take on this discussion of boundaries? Do you agree with Lala or do you side more with Ariana when it comes to boundaries when it's in regard to filming the show? (Timestamp: 5:40) - Rachel: I could see both of their points of view. Setting a boundary for yourself is not an easy thing to do. And when other people are upset that you set a boundary for yourself, that's usually a telltale sign that that person is using you in some way and is not happy that you have this new boundary because it's not serving them. - Rachel: So, I can see why Ariana upholded her boundaries by not speaking to Tom, even though she actually did film with Tom this whole season, or for the later part anyway. But she refused to have that conversation with Tom at the end of the show, and I commend her for it because it would have been a fake conversation. You could tell that Tom, his only motive to having that conversation with her is for camera purposes and storyline purposes. - Rachel: Therefore, it's not an authentic conversation. It would have been crocodile tears, the whole thing. And I completely understand Ariana walking away. I walked away too, and people weren't happy about that either. - Rachel: For Lala's point of view, I can understand her perspective in wanting to have a good TV show for her livelihood and the longevity of her career. If you're going to commit to filming, then I can see why Lala is upset, because you are not only committing to filming with this person, I can see her point in that she is living under the same roof as Tom. - Rachel: They're living together, they're filming together, yet in Lala's eyes, Ariana is being stubborn by not filming with Tom, or that one scene. Who even cares about that one scene? I don't know. - Rachel: It's all so silly to me, but boundaries are important. I was in a place where I didn't have boundaries, and I was really trying to appease production and put on a good show. That became my priority season 10.
And where do you think the line needs to be drawn, you know? When at the end of the day, this is a paycheck and this is a job, versus this is someone's real life. You've talked a lot about wanting to live in reality. Where do you think that line should be drawn? (Timestamp: 8:32) - Rachel: I think that's an impossible question to answer when you're filming a reality TV show, because the line is so blurry, it's impossible to know what's real and what's not. And the more I'm out of it, the clearer I can see that. We see it with Tom Sandoval when he talked about production. - Rachel: He did the New York Times article, and he stopped talking mid sentence when a plane flew over or a truck drove by, whatever it was, because the audio, typically when we're filming a show and a plane flies by, you stop talking so that the audio can pick up normally without the distraction in the background. - Rachel: So it's like programmed in your mind to think a certain way, to act a certain way, to talk a certain way, to pursue certain things, where it becomes a part of your patterning. We also see the lines get blurred with Scheana and the comment section, and what is real life and what is not, what is her own true motivation for doing certain things, and what is influenced by outside commentary. - Rachel: That gets so blurry, and when you're all consumed in the perception of yourself, how can you really be sure that you're operating from a place of an inner knowing? That's a boundary that's blurred. With Lala, she clearly prioritizes the success of the show because she wants to secure her paycheck, and when people are setting boundaries for themselves and it's conflicting with what she wants and what is successful in her eyes, that sparks an anger within her. - Rachel: And it's all fabricated to a certain point because the bottom line is this show. So, I think it truly is impossible to live a real life and be on a reality TV show.
So, do you think it's fair for Lala to direct that anger towards Ariana? Or do you think she should be directing it more towards the show? (Timestamp: 11:12) - Rachel: Oh, no, not at all. I don't think that it's fair that Lala is directing that anger towards Ariana because Ariana has been very clear with her boundaries since the very beginning and…
I guess if she's feeling this way, do you think maybe she should have upheld her boundaries more if she was feeling so resentful towards someone doing the same? Do you think she's feeling like she regrets things that she had said in the past? (Timestamp: 11:35) - Rachel: I think she did uphold her boundaries. I think that she feels like she hasn't been supported the same way that Ariana is being supported. And it's probably not a good feeling, but she maneuvered differently than Ariana has. And Lala doesn't extend the same empathy towards others. So it's harder to support her, I believe.
She does make a point to say, many times, that she feels like things are not being honest on camera. She points out Tom and Ariana’s relationship being one of those things. Katie has a flashback moment where she also calls it out. Do you agree that things are not always honest on camera? (Timestamp: 12:12) - Rachel: Totally. Yeah. I think the point that Lala is making is that Tom and Ariana haven't been honest about their relationship on camera. - Rachel: And I think people are getting caught up in Lala being hypocritical because she wasn't honest about her relationship with Randall. Okay, yes, that might be true. But the point is that Tom and Ariana haven't been good for quite some time. - Rachel: And their relationship that was portrayed on camera for fans to see was not an accurate representation of their relationship. I see the frustration because I agree with that too.
Even on your part, how does it affect you as someone on the show when people aren't fully honest on camera? How does that affect the rest of the cast? (Timestamp: 13:21) - Rachel: Yeah, it affects everyone when people aren't fully honest on the show. I mean, I wasn't fully honest the season 10 reunion. I was still covering up for Tom Schwartz. - Rachel: I was still covering up for Tom Sandoval. I was still going along with that narrative, and it would have been much better to just be open and honest about it. But of course, Tom was like, no, that wouldn't be good for business. - Rachel: It wouldn't be good for Schwartz and Sandys if people knew that the Schwartz kiss wasn't authentic and we need that to seem real. So it does affect everyone when you're not being honest, because it portrays a certain picture that isn't reality, and the whole point of reality TV supposedly is to be real, following these real people's lives. - Rachel: So honesty would be like the most important value characteristic you would think that everyone on this show should have. But it seems like nobody does.
Well, speaking of honesty, Ariana kind of called out Tom and his motives behind wanting to apologize on camera. He finally does get that moment during the reunion to apologize to Ariana. He has some words when he does, he calls the affair something he regrets every day. He says that he wears it like a badge of shame. On your end, how did that feel watching that? (Timestamp: 14:46) - Rachel: It's hard to tell if Tom is being honest or not. Even in the Secrets Revealed episode, when he was asked how many girls he had sex with since me, and he had to pause and think about if he was going to be honest or not, he's just been caught in so many lies that it's hard to tell if he's being truthful. - Rachel: But hearing Tom say that he regrets getting involved with me every single day, I regret it too, so it is a little bit painful, but it's also like maybe something is registering for him. - Rachel: I don't know. But then again, his actions speak a lot louder than his words. He knows what words to say, and then it seems that he fails to follow through with meaningful action. And that's where true amends come into play.
There was just, I feel like, a lot of pain in the room all around. You kind of acknowledged that at the beginning of this episode. What do you think that this pain, and even Lala saying that she was okay seeing some of those friendships end, what do you think that means for the future of this group? (Timestamp: 16:07) - Rachel: I don't see much of the future for this group. It looks pretty shattered. It looks like these friendships are not healthy friendships. - Rachel: The dynamic between Lala and Scheana is not a healthy dynamic. It seems to be like a power imbalance. It seems like Scheana is trying to appease Lala to make sure she's secure, and she's getting certain needs met in that friendship because Ariana hasn't been around for Scheana the way that she's used to. - Rachel: Yeah, you could tell that Scheana’s struggling with coping with that. It seems like Lala's really on a wavelength of not effing with anybody on the cast right now. It seems like her friendship with Katie isn't strong because Katie's gotten really close with Ariana. - Rachel: It seems like even her friendship with Scheana is a little rocky. I think she sees Scheana as someone that's not...How do I want to say this? - Rachel: And I hate saying this word, because I don't want to like categorize somebody as something, especially because I've been called this before too. But I think seeing how Lala reacted to everything and how Scheana was trying to be the fixer and appease Lala, and it just didn't seem like enough for Lala. I think Lala sees Scheana as someone who is weak, perceived weakness. - Rachel: I'm not saying that Scheana is weak. And I think that there's a lot of alliances and manipulation happening, and none of that is healthy for our friendship dynamic. I can see why the show is taking a hiatus, because it just seems so fractured
Well, it definitely seems like at the very end of the episode, Scheana was very sure to get that last word in. I felt like she was looking directly at Lala and almost begging for her to hear her out that she was on her side. And it really did seem like the very end, Scheana had to choose. Is she Team Ariana or Team Lala? Do you think she made the right choice? Do you think she needed to make a choice, or do you think that she's putting this pressure on herself? (Timestamp: 18:21) - Rachel: Ooh, that's a good question. I think she feels a lot of pressure from the outside perspective, and she doesn't want to, obviously, like burn bridges with Ariana or anything. And I think Ariana has been very gracious towards Scheana. Do I think that she needed to choose sides? I don't think so. I don't know. - Rachel: I can see Lala's frustration probably because I'm sure Sheena and Lala have had conversations about the whole situation. And without Ariana there, I'm sure Sheena's singing a much different tune than what we're hearing at the reunion, and that's sparking some frustration in Lala. And I'm sure that was a similar feeling when she called out Katie about it too. - Rachel: So yeah, I think that Lala feels pretty isolated, I want to say, in her feelings. And now that it's aired, and I did check Reddit for the first time in a very, very long time, it seems like the majority of people are hating on Lala right now. I'm human. - Rachel: I do hold some resentment towards Lala for the way that she's treated me over the years. I do empathize with her a little bit because all the hate online is just a little bit ridiculous. And I think also people are afraid to speak a differing opinion than the team Ariana side because people are just ruthless online and they don't want to hear a differing opinion. - Rachel: And if you do, then you get shunned out, too. It's very, my therapist calls it tribal shaming, where if you're not following the rules of the tribe, spoken or unspoken, then you're cast out and you're shunned.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 23:24
I mean, it does feel like the fans have had more of an impact on this season than ever. Would you agree with that? (Timestamp: 23:24) - Rachel: Yeah, especially because as they were filming this show, the fans were boots on the ground. We're going to production, we're going to filming, and we're going to take photos and document what we saw and all that stuff. Like it was very interactive in a way. - Rachel: I think with after show this year, it was a little bit different because some things have changed since the ending of filming last summer. One of the things was me starting my own podcast and speaking freely about my experience and my opinion and the after show gave the cast an opportunity to rebut what I was saying and it provided more of a context. - Rachel: And I think with more time passing from the end of filming last summer to, you know, early January, February of this year, when they filmed the after shows, cast dynamics shifted because as we all know, now watching the finale, Lala and Ariana did not end on a good note whatsoever. - Rachel: And so, you know, she had some choice of words to say during the after shows. And it seemed like she really got Sheena to support her with that.
Speaking about the fracturing of this cast, something about her did recently open. Not many cast members were in attendance to this opening. What's your take on that? (Timestamp: 24:56) - Rachel: Interesting. Do you know who went? - iHeart Lady: I know Schwartz went - Rachel: It seems a little telling that maybe Sheena and Lala aren't on the best terms with Ariana right now, because they went to like the Broadway opening that Ariana did for Chicago. And they also went to Dancing with the Stars. But this is all before they knew that she didn't watch the show. And so that was all before the reunion and everything. So yeah, it seems like maybe they're not on the best of terms right now.
What are your thoughts on production holding the last five minutes until the reunion to show to everyone? (Timestamp: 25:47) - Rachel: I wonder if they got word that Ariana wasn't watching the season. And they did that as a way to ensure that they would get a reaction from her, kind of like forcing her hand a little bit, forcing her into a situation that she did not want to be in. It was very strategic in that way. And it was something new. Like, we've never done that before. It was creative, for sure, on production's part.
Do you think it was fair to Ariana? (Timestamp: 26:27) - Rachel: There's a commitment, and part of that is watching the show and having an opinion on what's happening besides your own story that you're sharing. So in a way, it's like ensuring that Ariana did have an opinion on it. So very eye opening, to say the least.
I want your take on Tom's final words. He says, I love it. It's good for me. A lot of people in the room were very shocked by that. Tom even has a reaction to it, where he shakes his head no. They didn't even really press him on what he meant by that either. What's your take on all of that? (Timestamp: 26:49) - Rachel: I wish they pressed him on what he meant by that a little bit more. And Ariana was pretty much the only person that called him out on it too. She caught it. - Rachel: She was like, that exactly proves my point, that you are doing things for the audience, for the production value, and for his own story purposes. I guess in Tom's eyes, having Ariana refuse to film and walk off was good for him because he felt like he completed his job and fulfilled his duty with what production was asking from him. And Ariana was not. - Rachel: And I think selfishly, he probably thought that it would give him a better chance of having more of a redemption story. - Rachel: Because, ultimately, production is the one picking and choosing what they're going to share on the show and edit and put certain music behind certain scenes to make it seem even more of a certain way. Tom knows how to play into that. But I would have loved to hear what his explanation for that comment would be.
Why do you think they didn't press him? (Timestamp: 28:34) - Rachel: I think that they're protecting him, like they always have been.
We did see something interesting at the very end with Lisa stepping up and taking Ariana's side, which is kind of a different tune. You've talked about this before, where she seems to protect the guys a lot of the time, but then she changes her tune at the very end of the episode and takes Ariana's side. What are your thoughts on that? (Timestamp: 28:39) - Rachel: I think Lisa is very strategic with what she puts out there as well. And she knows what people are saying about her, with her always supporting the guys. So that could have been a motivation behind her changing her tune and supporting Ariana in that way. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard because I think also Lisa is very aware of who the fan favorites are. It's her show. - Rachel: She's an executive producer on this show. So she's not a dummy when it's coming to that. I think it helps her if she is supporting Ariana because she'll praise Ariana for walking away and end up holding her boundaries. - Rachel: But then when it comes to me, I don't even remember what she said about me. But when it comes to me walking away and setting a boundary for myself, I've been told that I'm a coward and I'm running away from my problems. - Rachel: So that part for me gets a little frustrating because it's like, and also the fans praising Ariana for upholding her boundaries and walking away and supporting her and telling her like, you know, she's outgrown this show. - Rachel: She should move on and do something even better with her life. And she's finding out now that these aren't her true friends and like good for her for upholding her boundaries and walking away from this situation. And I've done the same thing and it has been met with scrutiny.
Lala compares her situation with Randall to Ariana a lot throughout this reunion. Do you think the two are similar at all? (Timestamp: 30:37) - Rachel: I don't think that the relationship that Lala had with Randall is comparable to the situation that Tom and Ariana were in. It's hard to get on Lala's side with some of the things that she's saying, because the way that she spoke about her relationship with Randall is like bragging about doing BJs for PJs and getting gifted a Range Rover very early in their relationship and not being honest about who she was seeing and the situation that was happening basically. And it just seemed like she was in it for the money and like to secure her success and fame. - Rachel: So it's hard to get behind that, especially when she's been so outright about it. Unfortunately, Randall wasn't the stand up guy that she was selling him to be. We weren't buying it. - Rachel: In Ariana's case, viewers got to see that relationship develop over the years, whereas with Lala's, he wasn't around, like it was secret for a while. And, you know, it's harder to develop feelings towards a person or a relationship when you're not seeing it play out on camera. I think Lala has a lot of anger, maybe even towards herself, for the situation that she allowed herself to be in. And I think she might be taking that out on Ariana.
How hard is it to be really honest when you're in this position? And do you think certain cast members have an easier time doing this? (Timestamp: 32:22) - Rachel: So this is like where your own values come in. Like, are you an honest person or are you not? Because there are people in this cast that are not, and we know who they are, and they have no problem lying, and it doesn't bother them when they lie. - Rachel: And for me, I'm working towards living a more authentic, honest life. And part of that is being honest with my emotions, thoughts, and feelings, and expressing that, and doing that in a way that is still respectful, because I'm not trying to hurt people in the process. And I am trying to express myself honestly and be true to myself. - Rachel: So I think it just depends on who you're asking. I mean, it's definitely not easy. It's definitely hard because you're on this platform, this public arena where you're opening yourself up to scrutiny. - Rachel: And if other people have differing opinions than you do, or if your opinion is the minority, you're basically going to be harassed and scrutinized. And so sometimes for people, it's easier to not be fully honest with their thoughts and feelings in order to save face or in order to go with more popular opinion because it's perceived to be safer that way. But I don't know. - Rachel: At this point, it's like your words aren't going to hurt me. You can say whatever you want to say about me online, and I've survived this far. So whatever else you say about me is not going to affect me any more than it already has. - Rachel: I've developed thick skin through this process, and I've come to the point where I value my friendships that are real in the sense of I interact with these people in real life. I care more about people's perception of me when they actually meet me and interact with me and the vibes I give off that way. So you get to a certain point where it's almost your duty to show up for yourself and be honest with how you feel and how you think about a certain thing in that moment. - Rachel: And your opinions can change with time too and with more information. It's not like I'm going to say this one thing and I'm always going to feel this way. It's always changing, it's always developing, we're always getting more information, and we're always experiencing new things that change our perspective on life. - Rachel: So it's just your duty to represent yourself in the most authentic way so that your people will find you.
***ads play and podcast resumes at 38:08
Well, I think there was one kind of shining moment, I'll say, even though it was a really emotional moment. But the moment between, and this is a little bit of a pivot, but the moment between Schwartz and Katie, I found really interesting, where Andy was asking about their relationship. It seemed like this season, they had a little bit more of a playful dynamic. But Schwartz gets really emotional, saying that he doesn't regret how their relationship ended. But you can kind of see in his eyes that he tears well up. He gets really emotional. What did you make of that moment? (Timestamp: 38:08) - Rachel: We don't think we've really seen a moment like that between Tom, Schwartz, and Katie. It really seems like they've come to terms with how the relationship ended, and that it was for the best. But it seemed like there was a lot of fond memories and just appreciation for one another, that I don't think I've really seen that dynamic between them before. - iHeart Lady: To me, it seemed like in a season where there was a lot of hurt, that seemed like the one moment of maybe seeing two people that are going through the process of healing. - Rachel: Viewing that, it did seem like they were both coming from a place of healing, because they weren't throwing insults at each other or trying to bring each other down. It was very respecting one another and appreciating the moments that they did have together while it lasted. And that's refreshing to see on this show.
Lala said something at the very end where she said it was really hard for her to show up to season nine reunion, I believe it was. You know, she didn't want to talk about certain things, but she showed up. Ariana said the same thing where she could say the same about the season 10 reunion. She didn't want to be there. You could probably say the same thing about the season 10 reunion. You didn't want to be there as well. Is it fair to say everyone's been in a position where they didn't want to be somewhere, but they did anyway? (Timestamp: 39:44) - Rachel: 100%. Yeah, totally. And that's like the part of committing to this show. It's a commitment. And even though you don't quite know what you're signing up for, you know that it's not going to be necessarily easy. And there's a challenge in that. - Rachel: And I think, just speaking for myself, there was an opportunity for growth for me in that. Yeah, I think we've all been in a situation where we didn't want to show up for something and felt, I don't think obligated is the right word, but we made a commitment to being there, and we followed through with our commitment. And it's hard.
You started this episode off by acknowledging that there was a lot of healing that this cast needs to do. As someone who has taken a step back from filming, you've had this time to kind of come back to your own reality. What can this cast expect when you have that moment to kind of breathe and have that separation and you rejoin reality for a minute? (Timestamp: 41:07) - Rachel: Oh, okay. That is a loaded question. Because I think that there's a little bit of fear with not being the current topic of conversation. - Rachel: I think addiction is the wrong word, but there's a little bit of the dopamine hits that you get when you're being talked about on a reality TV show and the fear of that going away permanently could be a scary thing. But taking time off and re-centering with yourself, I think is like the best thing for this cast right now, because we don't want to be forced into situations that we don't want to be in. That's not living an authentic life. - Rachel: I mean, I've been worrying about scenes and storylines, and I haven't even been a part of this show, but now it feels good not to worry about that. And I do have to say, just like reading all the comments on Reddit right now, it's like hardly anybody is talking about me, which is a great feeling. It's just so much more freeing when you're not living your life for somebody else's entertainment anymore. - Rachel: It just feels like you get your life back a little bit. It's so complex, and I think it's hard to understand if you haven't been through being on a TV show for millions of people to comment on and judge your life. I don't think humans are meant for that, and there's no way that that's healthy. - Rachel: Yeah, I said that I think the cast, we have a lot of healing to do. We, as in, I still do too, and part of that is coming back to reality. And I really don't think that we've had a minute this whole season. I think it's going to be good for everyone.
Has this year though felt different to you? I feel like you're like half in, half out (Timestamp: 43:42) - Rachel: Oh, yeah, it's felt so different. But I think like a large part of that has to do with going to the meadows and really reconnecting with myself and learning about my issues and how it was showing up for me and really coming to terms with like, what is this piece of external validation and how is that motivating me? And is it even real? - Rachel: And just like really re centering back into myself and gaining a lot more perspective with that. Without the meadows, I would not be where I am right now. There's no freaking way. So it is. I'm living a new life. I really am. - Rachel: And I feel like I haven't really been able to truly have the opportunity to live my new life to the fullest because this show has been holding me back. And I know that that's partially my fault too because I'm indulging and speaking about it, but I'm really looking forward to the days when I can truly move forward and evolve into something even more magnificent.
Outro (Timestamp: 45:02) - Rachel: Thank you so much for listening to Rachel Goes Rogue. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok for exclusive video content at Rachel Goes Rogue Podcast.
***end

I don't even know where to start with this one. I (17M) live with my mom (42F) and dad (45M) as well as my little brother (7M) who we'll call Chris.
Chris is adopted. His mom was my mom's best friend, and her and her husband passed away not long after he was born due to a car accident. My mom was his godmother, and took him in as her own. This was known to me since I was old enough to remember when he got adopted, but Chris wasn't, and he still isn't aware.
I was doing my homework the other night, and realised I was hungry. It was around midnight so I thought no one would be up, and decided to head to the kitchen. To my surprise, Chris was sitting on the floor reading a book in the living room. I came over and asked what he was doing up, and he looked up at me and told me he found a photo album in mom's drawers while looking for his sleeping gummies. He'd had a nightmare and didn't want to wake her, so thought he'd just grab some of his gummies and try and head back to sleep. He begged me not to tell mom or dad he was awake, and asked if he could look at the photos for just a little longer. I felt a little guilty, since I don't get a lot of time with him, so I selfishly let him stay up a while. I figured the photos would give him some positive memories and would give him something better to think about when he went back to bed.
We went to a random page in the book and it was a little before I was born, and they were photos of my mom. She looked beautiful, but I noticed she wasn't showing very much of a bump. Considering my mom is Korean and I know her mother didn't show much either, I figured it must've just been the photo and the dress she was wearing, or maybe the way she was turned from the camera. She was painting something and smiling at the camera, and the photo had a date from a few months before I was born. However, the further I looked, the more it seemed like she just wasn't pregnant at all. She never started showing, even days before I was born. Not only that, but there were no signs of her being pregnant in a celebratory sense, no baby showers, no artistic photos of my dad holding her stomach, nothing. This is bizarre because my parents are both quite artistic and expressive, my mom's a painter and my dad's an ex musician, so I assumed there would be pretty expressive photos of her pregnancy. But nope, nothing. Okay, so I'm adopted. Honestly not an awful surprise but still bizarre that this is how I found out. I got to the day of my birth in the album and I felt my jaw drop.
It was my mom in the hospital. She was holding me in a bundle of blankets, smiling cheerfully. Okay, so I'm not adopted, then what's the deal? But then I notice something. My mom is fully dressed, in her favourite sundress with her makeup and hair done. She doesn't look like a woman who's just given birth at all! However, as I go further through the photos I notice something stranger. There's a photo of another man holding me, right above another photo of a woman laying down, holding me with a smile. It's my aunt and uncle.
For a little backstory, my aunt, who we'll call Mina (46F) and my uncle, Gabriel (44M) are from my dad's side of the family. Gabriel is my dad's brother, and Mina's his wife. When I was 15, we met with my aunt and uncle, as well as my dad's parents, for Chuseok, a Korean holiday (My dad is Korean too). My parents told me this would be my first time meeting my aunt and uncle. However, when they walked in the room, I realised I had seen my aunt before. I couldn't really place it, but I brought it up to them. They all tried to brush it off and not talk about it, and my aunt kept giving me this weird, sad look. And she gave someone else the same sort of look: my mom.
I was in shock. My aunt was clearly the one in the photo who had given birth. The next few photos were of my parents with Mina and I, holding her close and cooing at me, etc. I kept going through and Mina and Gabriel seemed to be so present. They were there all the way until I was about 5, at which point they seemed to disappear from the photos. After a while my mom came in and I shoved the album under the coffee table. I told her to go back to bed and that I'd settle Chris down myself. She sleepily agreed and didn't argue, and went off to bed without another word. I put my brother to bed, and when I came out to the living room, my dad was there. He said he had just come home from my Uncle Gabriel's, that he'd had to stop by work to drop one of the keys off that he accidentally pocketed, and that my Uncle had texted that he was up and wanted to see if my dad wanted to stop on by. This isn't uncommon. My dad and I talked. I didn't mention what I'd found, but I implied he and mom hid a lot of things from me. He seemed to catch on that I'd found something, telling me we can discuss it over lunch tomorrow before his meeting, and then he went to bed. I'm so confused! Why would my parents hide this from me? Are they my parents? Are they actually my aunt and uncle? I don't know what to do! I guess I'll update this when I talk to my dad, but I'm still so confused. Thanks for letting me vent, and sorry if this is a mess.

I'm not even sure how to ask this, which is why I'm here as Google isn't helpful.
I'm recording myself playing electric guitar in Ableton Live 12. I have an Audio Track in slot 1, and MIDI for a footswitch in 2. I have no issues there, everything works as it should.
What I'm trying to do is when I playback my recording, have it replay as it was Live, meaning in a section of the tune when I kick in an OD, the audio plays back with the OD kicked on in that section. At the moment, the playback is clean with no effects throughout. I'm not sure if there is a setting I need to switch on or if this is even possible.

And has for the past year Toyota has cleaned it but it keeps coming back. 2022 RAV4. (Not blaming the menieres on the mold but also not ruling it out as my symptoms started right when the mold issue started)
On that note it is time for me to trade in this car because I can no longer deal with this and the Ménière’s…. (Menieres is enough for a 31 year old girl to handle)
My question is, would it be worth it to get a self driving car or lean towards that right now I’m looking at a 2024 Honda CRV and I think it has assistance with lane detection and braking . I’m just nervous. I’m gonna have a vertigo attack and need assistance… I know Teslas are more self driving but I am not that kind of rich 😅 although if it meant keeping my life normal I might consider getting something more self driving (if any tips) I live where there is no snow so no issues with that. I don’t need all wheel drive.
I am not looking forward to a car payment, but also I’m trying to be grateful that I can handle a car payment kinda change my mindset.

Hi everyone, I’m set to take my exam later on this year and my registration details indicates that my speaking test will be taken via a video call. I registered with the BC so naturally I headed over to their office for clarification and they confirmed it was right. Since I’ve never really heard anyone talk about the live call Speaking test nor have I seen any videos about it, I’d like to ask if anyone in here has had any experience with that method. How did it go? Was the audio clear enough? Did you just wave your passport in front of the screen to show the examiner when it got to the part where you need to present them with your ID? Please help, thank you.

Hello, I take home $5200 a month, every month without OT included. Naturally for filling I would not to mention any OT. as all OT for me is optional. I would want to also do a 100% plan.
The car is want to surrender i bought for 81k with 20k negative equity rolled over been paying for a year and still owe about 67k while it is worth 30k at minimum. For this truck I pay $1400 a month at a 6.9 interest rate.
I owe nothing on my credit cards as I pay them off monthly.
I owe 2290 to collections for an account i was never aware of that just popped up.
I owe 5500 to a personal loan i have been paying for around 2 years that original loan was around 7000 but the interest is 30%. Monthly payment is $249
I have a second car that i would like to keep. It is worth about 38k and i owe about that much as well. For this car I pay $779 a month
That is all i pay for under my name.
I live out of an rv, which my company kinda also helps pay for which all comes out to $290 a month. Rv is in parents name.
Also have my favorite sports car worth about 30k total balance owed is 13k. Monthly payment is $550 a month, no intention to get rid of it, and the loan is in my parents name.
Now i have no problem paying the debt. I just want to get rid of the truck, but the negative equity is too high to do anything other than surrender it?
I have no obligations against a 100% plan, But i also don’t want to lose my disposable income. I already typically have $800-1500 every month extra after everything is said and done. I also get a yearly 10% bonus of my annual salary yearly.
Before this collection popped up i had no interest in BK as i had an 800 credit score. After this though it has tanked my credit and i was unaware that I would get a collection on my report my credit has tanked. Yes it is a legitimate debt, that I somehow did forget about.
Will I be able to lower my debt payments with a chapter 13, would it give me more disposable income? Would I need to surrender my bonus? could I pay it off early, like jn 1 year?
Thanks. i am in young 20s and in 7 years i will still be under 30. (edit to add: i would like to keep credit cards and everything other than the truck if possible. naturally the debts not in my name shouldn’t apply on the BK, correct?)

I am looking to buy a used car and came across an Avalon 2014 which has run just over 150,000km. The seller is asking for $12k. Is it worth it? I live in an Arab country.
My main concerns are 1) will it run smoothly for the next 50,000km without any major issue. 2) resale value.

(This is a repost just to see what people think because I want to make a decision pretty soon.) TLDR: Was going to come out to parents while away for 2 months, but am reconsidering. Hello. Gradual closet emerging trans woman here (25). The past few months since truly realizing myself have actually been pretty good. I've told a variety of friends, work, and my brother and responses have been almost completely positive luckily. I haven't started presenting any different yet though, and a big reason for that is my parents. Coming out to my parents has been (as with most LGBTQ+ people) one of the biggest things on my mind for any of this. Honestly though, I'm only really concerned about my mother's reaction. My dad is actually a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and while he has expressed that people being trans is still something he struggles to wrap his head around, he has also shared that he has many trans friends and has been legitimately putting in effort to better understand. I'm sure coming out to him would still be a huge shock, but I'm pretty sure he will be generally supportive after that period, especially with his clear genuine support in completely unrelated things. 99% of the concern comes with my mom's reaction. I have never heard her say anything downright hateful about the trans community, but she has no issue voicing her general disapproval of the community when with family (including during conversations where my brother and I have both tried to give her helpful information to help her understand, plus my dad just being neutral but also in the conversation). She also has a history of invalidating and not believing my experiences (and others') on things from allergies, to mental health, and literally this week me apparently not actually using the maintenance plan for my car when I'd get it serviced(???). I also currently live with her, as an added detail. All of this together and more, made me decide pretty early on to come out to my parents virtually (once again, my father isn't an issue, he just communicates a lot with my mother a lot even though they are separated and I'm not confident he'd be willing to keep this secret from my mom for any period of time). Pretty soon I will be very far away for work for 2 months. The community I will be in has been very supportive of this sort of thing, and my supervisors already know, so that won't be an issue. Usually when I'm gone for this, the 4 of us in my nuclear family video call when I have days off, the first of which this year is when I planned to come out. While I am not very concerned for my physical safety in coming out, my idea was to do it while away to give both my mother and myself a chance to not see each other constantly in the early stages of being out, especially since there has been a decent amount of long standing tension between us completely separate from this. The people I've told this plan to all seem to think it's generally fine, except my therapist. She has been phenomenal honestly, but she very much feels I should tell my parents in person. I've explained to her why I want to do it this way, but she clearly still doesn't think it's the "right" way to do it (but she is of course respecting my decision). I've been pretty firm with sticking to my plan, but I was just watching a video from a trans creator (Alice in Wonder1and!), and she mentioned coming out to her parents in person, and that she's grateful that she did it that way. This coming from another trans person has made me second guess this. On one hand, I don't have a fantastic relationship with my family, so have already resolved that I'm going to lose a good amount of them soon, including the possibility of my mother, along with the extremes of being suddenly kicked out or physical harm. On the other hand, I would, and have wanted to have a good relationship with my family, and regardless of my mom's reaction, telling her virtually would probably harm that in some capacity. Plus, I honestly have wanted to come out as soon as possible and if I do it virtually I won't even know when I'd be able to because I probably won't know my first day off until a day or so after I arrive (if I come out in person, I will probably do it a day or so before I leave so as not to have an extended time with my mom until I return regardless). This post has been long enough, so let me know your thoughts.

Good morning. I'm sorry if post like this have been made in the past, I'm new to this subreddit. I'm looking for suggestions on upgrading my 2019 Kia Niro EX audio system. Right now, everything is completely stock with the car. I don't want anything crazy and not trying to break the bank. I would prefer to keep the stock head unit. There just isn't enough bass and the sound is subpar all around. Would you guys suggest more just upgrading all the door speakers or going the route of getting an amp and sub? I have done a little looking into the subs that go in the spare tire area, and that interests me simply because it wouldn't be in the way if I use the back hatch area. I know the basics about car audio equipment. I have changed head units in cars and changed a bunch of speakers. I have never installed an amp and subs. How difficult is it to install subs? Does it being a hybrid make a difference on what I can or should do? Any suggestions welcome, thank you.

Hi, I currently have a customer with a pioneer SC-77 receiver and for some reason, if they are watching tv or on the Firestick, the audio keeps cutting out frequently. You can't watch a show or live TV without the audio cutting out on any of the speakers in the theater. I have checked the speaker connections and everything looked good. I also tried a different cable with a DVD player and that was doing the same thing. Im not sure what else to try and was wondering if anyone has any ideas? The receiver is pretty old so I don't know if it has to get replaced or not

I sit here at 6am as I have once again been woken up by the neighbors inability to turn off their own damn alarm. Im exhausted. I sleep through just about everything my boyfriends video games, police sirens, airplanes, car crashes etc so in no way am I a light sleeper. On top of their alarm that begins my day, I will hear them argue and pretty sure the guy is abusing his gf. Another neighbor in the unit has called the cops on them before because one day she was screaming bloody murder and they were genuinely worried for her safety. On top of the alarm and arguing we clear as day hear them having sex. They’ve been heard having sex as I’ve had my nieces and nephews over and it’s gotten so bad that I had to stop working from home because a client heard them having sex the last time I took a work call. They have been confronted very nicely about the noise in which the guy has proceeded to threaten neighbors on numerous occasions and punch the wall. The landlord has tried to talk to them in which they never answer the door. Idk what else to do I can’t live like this. If these things were happening occasionally I wouldn’t even bat an eye but it’s constant. Truly the neighbors from hell.

Seller is in NJ, which apparently doesn’t issue a title for PWC or trailer, but they have the manufacturer certificate or origin for both. I live in PA. I read a comment about getting a bill of sale for each item signed by the seller, and that it should be notarized. PA says bill of sale and certificate or original is acceptable to register, and there is not mention of needing notary. I always assumed it was like a car and you just signed over the title. Thanks.

I was involved in a near fatal car accident 2 months ago. My dad sent me and my mom vile messages about how he wishes we had died and the person who he paid to help him with curses clearly didn’t do a good job (I’ve suspected he’s been involved with African witchcraft for a while).
Anyway, after the hospital I asked a friend if I could stay with her. Why did my dad call her dad (who is in another country) to ask his daughter to kick me out because I deserve to be homeless.
I have a protection order against him and my brother because they violently beat me and I have them on recording on how easy it would be to kill me.
I unfortunately lost my job 6 months ago and I’ve been actively looking but other than staying in his guest room, I contribute financially by buying groceries for the entire family.
I’m also going through medical treatment and I’m constantly exhausted and fatigued.
I don’t think I deserve to be homeless because I used the law to protect myself.
I’m really lucky that my friends dad instead of taking my dads side has personally contacted me and said I can live in his home for as long as I like. This is a man I’ve only met 3 times, I can’t even remember what he looks like but he’s shown me more grace and kindness than my own dad and extended family members.
I can’t tell you how relieved I am to not be facing homelessness but I’m so sad that my own dad genuinely wants to see me dead.
I could do with all the encouragement I can get, I go to court soon and I hope the judge makes my protection order permanent. I hope to never have to interact with my father and brother again.

Hi there, I'm not sure if this is the right Subreddit for my question, excuse me if it isn't.
I have a Gothic/ Darkwave/ EBM Project, do everything mostly by myself and slowly starting to plan my first live performance.
I need some decent vocal effects live, the rest I will play as backing tracks, probably going to buy a M Live B Beat for that.
Now here is the question. I've heard from befriended Audio Engineers that it's a pain in the 4ss for the FOH if I would send my wet signal from my Vocal Processor (not yet sure which one I would buy tho).
I got the tip to let the FOH put on the Vocal FX like delay, Reverb, EQ and Compression but I'm not sure about that because I would not have control on how it sounds.
A different tip was to split my signal, send a dry and a wet, let the FOH do his work on the dry and then let him put on the Wet FX. Since I'm a noob on this field I have no idea how that would work. I guess I could split my signal using a Stereo DI box but what else would I have to do?
My questions are:

1. What would the setup be? What gear would I need so the FOH is happy with me
2. How could I hook up an In ear monitor system and could I hear my singing wet or dry myself?
3. What would you recommend?

Many artists I talked to actually just send a wet signal. However that would mean that I could have some Feedback issues AND I would not even notice if what I hear, actually sounds terrible in the venue. The FOW would have 0 influence if anything sounds bad.
Advice is much appreciated!

Got a HNC in audio engineering, went to Dubai and got a 48k a year job in management (through nepo). Left that now after only two months due to extreme toxicity. Going back to England, and I've applied to around 100 jobs.
I'm particularly interested in degree apprenticeships ( In literally ANYTHING) but cannot seem to land one. Ideally, as I'm a musician and done a bunch of freelance work in recording studios, live sound etc I would like to work in post production/ sound, but it is just so competitive!
Been emailing so many different companies, applying to so many jobs in this industry and cannot land a single one. I'm too qualified for entry level sound jobs/ apprenticeships and not experienced enough for the fully fledged audio engineer roles it seems. I'm just sat here in the middle, waiting. I have some management experience which may serve as a hindrance to my CV rather than a benefit as I've not had any luck recently in getting a job.
I'm really sick of manually filling out long application forms and writing tailored cover letter's. Feel an intense burnout coming on. Despite this I am applying to around 3-4 jobs a day. I've become accustomed to receiving the rejection e-mail for job applications now. Yet I keep applying. It's almost like a form of self harm.
People who've been in a similar position. What should my next steps be? Are there any decent paying roles (late 20k - mid 30k) that I should be looking at?
Thank you

Okay so here's the deal. 5 years ago me and my wife got together shortly after we both got divorced. At the time she had a 9 yo son that is 100% disabled and I knew this when we started dating. We went out for a couple dates and she quickly ended up getting pregnant. It is what it is I have no regrets because at this time I was about 37 and never thought I would be able to have a child.I was super excited to have my son. I married my wife a few months later because I wanted my son to be raised in a healthy family atmosphere. I also truly wanted to help my wife with her disabled child because I know no one else was gonna do it. But here I am 5 years later and after learning a ton about disability and social security I realized I totally screwed myself by getting married to my wife. The reasons are my income is to much to get most assistance for my step son. However I really don't make that much. And because of his disabilities my wife cannot hold a job. There's no such things as a disabled kid day care. And all of his medical appointments with regular Drs and specialist takes up so much time no employer is gonna give her a job. It's super exhausting because she needs my help but I need to work to make money. We are broke. We only have one car and we have to juggle my job and her son's medical appointments. And it's making it so difficult to get by. And it's getting to the point where I feel that my step sons disability is making it almost impossible to give my actual son the life he deserves. Like I said I love my wife and and my step son and I feel guilty even thinking about getting a divorce but I'm not sure what else I can do. We're getting very close to not being able to cover rent and I will not let my son become homeless. And I feel my wife just don't see the final risks like I do. She thinks everything just works out and they do because I figure it out. I just know that if we got divorced she would not be able to make it. And with the courts the way they are I probably wouldn't have custody of my son because I'm the man. And then that means that I have to worry about my son not having a safe clean environment to live in. So now I'm feeling trapped in a relationship that although I do love my wife I just feel it is going in a downward spiral and I don't want my son to live in a house full of anger and resentment.
Anyways, sorry to throw this out on everybody. I needed to vent. I'm mentally exhausted and feeling depressed.

Let me start off by saying I had followed her for years. Back when she was making her little videos that would only get 100 or 200 likes. I was like, wow she seems genuinely nice. Boy, that didn’t last long. Whether you are a Christian or not, it’s important that you know she’s a pastor’s wife, and her whole mission from the beginning was to be a “genuine and authentic christian influencer” since they “don’t exist anymore”. Flash forward a few months, the changes slowly started happening. The videos were getting more likes, the influencer accent was adapted, then the nail tapping and the quirky little smiling at the beginning of videos.
Now, it is her life; But the ONLY reason she became so famous was the desperate young christian women who needed a role model, (who she promised to be) the ones she’s completely forgotten about while she’s living her high-rise lifestyle. Put aside her doing every brand deal under the sun and becoming insanely un-relatable, what really irks me is the hypocrisy.
(Ik y’all don’t want discussion on church but I thought it would be best to mention all of this to give some context especially of her origin)
I think she has went against her old “core values”, I think she’s fake, I think she’s a hypocrite, and I think she just wants to play a pastors wife v.s being one. I remember all of the women in her comment section thanking her for not being so out of touch, flash forwarded today and she’s so far gone it’s crazy. Like her buying a brand new Mom car that she completely trashed right after getting it, when she just got a brand new car when they moved- I can’t. And randomly spending anywhere from $400 to $600 a week at grocery stores for a “small haul”. An assistant? A stylist? 💀
Now maybe you don’t agree with that and that’s fine, but my final straw (that ended up getting me blocked) was this-
A sick Child. What do you do when your child is sick? You comfort them right? Clean up the mess? Not Miss Cecily, why would she do that when it’s peak time for content. Better to just run into the bathroom with your phone and set it up and scream across the house and ask “is Jackson still throwing up”. Then rubbing your eyes like this has been so difficult for you (bless her heart).
(Video has since been deleted, I believe she took it down the same time that she took the GRWM to go to my grandmas funeral down. She did a full post and comment sweep)
Or my fave, what got me blocked
“Oh my Gosh you guys, Sam hung this picture up of me on our wall from a magazine I was “randomly” in” Girl, give us peasants some credit. You weren’t randomly in anything 💀 not only that but then she goes and shoves the camera in Sam’s face while he’s doing dishes and is like “SHAMMMM AWWWWW SHAMMMM” girl. How tiring it must be to not have one genuine moment to yourself that you don’t think to pull out a camera and post it on the Internet.
I had unfollowed her at this point , but thanks for the TikTok algorithm she was still all over my feed. Thankfully she blocked me after several hundred thousand people in her comment section were agreeing with me that she needs to keep some of these moments to herself.
I really just can’t stand her 😭 thanks for your time, hope you enjoyed the story ❤️

I have a 2023 Subaru Crosstrek, and I’ve noticed that the audio quality from SXM satellite streaming is much worse than streaming Spotify thru CarPlay. This is not surprising to me, as I am aware of the bandwidth limitations and compression that SXM has over satellite.
What was surprising, however, was how much BETTER SXM sounded in a recent Ioniq 5 rental car I had. It sounded nearly identical in quality to streamung Spotify thru CarPlay in this car.
I am wondering if anyone has observed audio quality from satellite SXM being head unit dependent as well. Is there anything that can be done to improve the quality of my current unit? For reference, I have a 2023 Crosstrek Premium (6 MT btw ;) ) with the cheapest 6.5” head unit found in the base trim.
Cheers! 📡