Life on top s02e01

Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Jasmine, Justin, Millie, Topher
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, MK, Ripper
Episode 14: One Million Bucks, B.C.
"Last time on Total Drama Action! Tensions between Ripper and MK were still high while Izzy and Chase managed to bond. Much to the surprise of the teams, Ripper and Jasmine were captured and stashed into safes."
"After wasting a lot of time, the Gaffers asked their captive tough guy for help. Meanwhile, the Grips lucked out when they decided to have Jasmine escape through the air vents."
“Bulletproof girl Anne Maria got the surprise of her life when she was faced with none other than... Topher, who, thanks to yours truly, is back in the running. The Gaffers lost, and thanks to some confusing votes, Izzy took the lame-o-sine again.”
The recap footage ended, and portraits of the remaining contestants were shown on the screen – Anne Maria, Justin, Millie, and Topher on the top; Chase, MK, Ripper, and Jasmine on the bottom. "With only eight contestants left," Chris said before popping up in the foreground, "maybe one of them will stand a chance, on another awe-inspiring episode," the backdrop faded and the camera cut to the host in front of the cast trailer, "of Total! Drama! Action!"
(Theme Song)
A small flock of seagulls flew across the morning sun as the episode started, and the camera panned down to the cast trailers. It zoomed in on the guys' residence as Ripper exclaimed "I can’t believe that Izzy would vote for me." The shot cut inside to show Ripper complaining as Topher combed his hair, Justin sprayed himself with hairspray in front of the mirror, and Chase sat on his bunk. "If she liked me, why would she not vote for MK?! It makes no sense!"
“I know we saw what we saw, but I don’t think that Izzy voted for you because she hated you,” Chase told him. “If she did, she would’ve let you know point blank.”
"Coming from the guy who voted for her," Ripper snorted and turned around. "You’re lucky that I’m going through a struggle, or I would direct all of my anger towards you."
"I’d deserve it, but I didn’t want to vote Izzy out at all," Chase said. "The voting devices probably had a glitch in them and we got unlucky!"
"Now this is interesting," Topher said with a smirk. "A voting that went wrong and got out the person that you didn’t want to leave."
"Stay out of it, blonde boy," Ripper snarled. "You weren’t even in the game for the first half of the season."
“And so? I just like to be entertained,” Topher rolled his eyes and turned to Justin. “How can you spend so much time on your coif?”
“My agent Jesús says it's my best feature,” Justin said while spraying his hair still. “Along with my neck, nose, chin, cheekbones, earlobes, eyebrows…”
“Know who's got stunning hair? Anne Maria,” Topher pointed out in admiration. “Her pouf is one of a kind.”
“Or maybe it's my eyes,” Justin spoke to himself while ignoring the dirty blond.
“Her hair is great, but nothing can top my couf,” Topher continued. “I’ve never told Anne Maria that though.”
Confessional: Topher
"I didn’t just come back for Anne Maria if that’s what you guys are thinking," Topher told the viewers. "I was kicked off first last season, and I don’t want to be known for just that. I want to wow everybody here with my charisma, charms, and good looks, and winning or making the final two like Eva and Geoff could help me get my own show."
Confessional Ends
The scene moved over to the girls' trailer as Jasmine put her trademark hat on in the mirror, then smiled at her own reflection. “Looking good as always.” She then turned to Millie, who was cheerily writing on her notebook. “What’s gotten you so chipper?”
"I am almost done with writing my book," Millie answered. "With our two-time winning streak, it’s given me less time to worry about the elimination and more time to add the finishing touches to my future publishing book."
“I can’t wait to read it when it gets published,” Jasmine said with a smile. “I can tell it’s gonna be a big hit.”
“I got my writing skills from my grandfather,” Millie confessed. “I owe everything to him for inspiring me.”
Their conversation came to a pause when Anne Maria barged through the trailer door in her towel. "Make way for the most smoking hot thing since smoky ribs and wings back at my place," she bragged as she walked across the room to the sink and vanity mirror on the other side.
The viewpoint shifted over her shoulder as she began to admire herself in the mirror. She briefly bent over to take a pair of identical blouses out of a drawer, and as she held them up against each other, Jasmine appeared through the mirror with an amused smirk on her face.
"I know you care a lot about your own appearance, but this is feeling different," Jasmine noted.
"My guy came back to the game," Anne Maria answered. "I don’t see anything wrong with getting dressed up for him and not looking all sloppy like some people here."
"I am not the most attractive woman in the world, but I’m also not an eyesore!" Jasmine exclaimed. She then noticed MK shifting around under her blanket, and went over to check out her discovery.
“MK, it’s time to wake up,” the Australian girl said before pulling the blanket off, revealing a fully-clothed MK with her hand inside her right pocket of her jacket.
“Hey, what was that for?!” MK demanded after turning around to sit on her bunk bed.
“I thought you were still sleeping,” Jasmine said. “Why are you already dressed up?”
"None of your business," MK scoffed as she got off her bed. "And don’t you usually sleep in your tree?"
“I came inside to fix my hat,” Jasmine answered, her eyes growing suspicious.
“Well don’t sneak up on me like that,” MK said and walked out of the trailer, Jasmine continuing to stare suspiciously at her.
The scene switched to the guys’ trailer once again. "So in case you were wondering," Topher told his roommates, "I didn’t throw a tantrum just to be here. That’s so elementary school."
"Like I care about how you got here," Ripper cut off his roommate. "You’re just another wimp I can take down."
"We’ll just have to see about that," Topher said confidently. “It’s clear who’s the better looking player here.”
"If you’re talking about me, then thank you for your compliment," Justin added.
"Um, I was talking about-" Topher attempted to say but got cut off by a loud and deep sound that shook the trailer.
"What the gnar was that?!" Chase exclaimed.
The scene flashed over to a laughing Chris, dressed in a leopard-print full-body loincloth and holding the mouthpiece of a massive curved horn that appeared to be made of shell or bone. He caressed the horn at the end of his laugh, and sighed happily.
The footage skipped ahead as the castmates assembled, lining up according to gender – Millie, Anne Maria, MK, Jasmine, Topher, Chase, Justin, and Ripper.
“What are you wearin’?" Anne Maria asked in disgust.
“I can't believe he's wearing a loincloth," Millie said with disbelief.
"Like it?" Chris asked.
Chase snorted. "It looks ridiculous, dude."
"If you think that's ridiculous," Chris said with an indignant frown, "then wait 'til you hear today's challenges!"
“Hold on!” MK interrupted. “The Grips have five members while we have three. It's obvious that they're going to curb stomp us in the next challenge!”
“Yeah, no fair!” Ripper protested as well.
“I was just getting to that, Gaffers,” Chris said abruptly. “Since the teams are feeling a bit lopsided in the Grips’ favor, I'll be conducting a team swap in this episode. One of the Grips will have to switch over to the Gaffers.”
This made the Grips gasp. “Are you serious right now?” Jasmine stammered.
“I'm not playing around,” Chris confirmed. “I'm giving you guys thirty seconds to decide who's leaving or I'm picking one of you at random. So who's it gonna be?”
“Okay, team. Huddle up!” Jasmine ordered, and her teammates did as she said and formed a circle.
“I don't feel like swapping to the Gaffers,” Topher said. “I should be excluded from this since I just got here.”
“And there's no way I'm getting separated from Topher here,” Anne Maria enforced.
“None of you will have to worry about that at all since I'll be the one who's switching,” Jasmine opened.
“But why?!” Millie asked in disappointment. “You're practically our team leader.”
“I want to keep an eye on the Gaffers and make sure that they're not up to any foul play,” Jasmine answered. “I know this'll be hard, but I'm positive you all can handle yourselves without me.”
“We're running out of time, so you can be the one to swap teams,” Topher said.
“We can still talk to each other when there isn't a challenge,” Millie added. “It's not like we're gonna be enemies.”
“Thanks for understanding,” Jasmine smiled and they broke the circle.
“And who is going to leave the Killer Grips for good and be a permanent member of the Screaming Gaffers?” Chris asked with an intrigued smile.
“I hope it's Millie,” Chase whispered to MK and Ripper. “It'll be so cool to be teammates with her again.”
“I take the liberty of doing so!” Jasmine raised her hand. “I've already discussed it with my team, and they're just as on board.”
“This is kinda awkward. I was gonna pick you had you guys not come to a decision, but it is what it is,” Chris said. “Gaffers, Jasmine is now on your team until you decide to vote her off or whatever.”
“It's not Millie, but I'll take what I can get with a girl who's at least six foot and above,” Chase smiled.
Confessional: Ripper
“This team is definitely going to win now that Jasmine is with us,” Ripper said in the make-up trailer. “She's basically a giant that can clobber anyone, and amazon girls like her are my type,” he smiled before smacking himself. “No, Ripper. You don't care about Izzy anymore!”
Confessional: MK
“Of all the Grip players, Jasmine being on our team is an upgrade,” MK bragged. “Her old team is nowhere near as powerful and physically adept as she is, and if Jasmine was able to help them win, imagine how she can assist us?”
Confessional: Jasmine
“Just because I want to keep things fair, doesn't mean that I want to take control of my new teammates,” Jasmine confessed next. “Chase is nice enough as it is. It's Ripper and MK that are hard to trust.”
Confessionals End
"I'm lovin' this show of hostility enough as it is," Chris said with a pleased smile, "but I think today's challenges will help bring out your more...," he thought for a brief second before smirking, "primal instincts. Today's genre," he announced, "the Period Movie!"
"Amazing," Anne Maria gushed. "I love period movies! Those oldern people know how to work petticoats and dresses!"
"I am not gonna wear a dress, Chris," MK told the host indignantly.
"I don't think that'll be a problem," Topher said. "We're clearly gonna be doing a caveman cavewoman movie."
"Exactamundo, Topher!," Chris said as a few primitive-sounding drumbeats and grunts played in the background. "Don't know why the rest of you didn't guess that, considering my loincloth," he added in an annoyed tone.
"Paleo-what now?" Ripper asked in confusion.
"It's the Stone Age," Jasmine corrected. “We're going to be cave girls and cave boys.”
"No talking!" Chris told them sharply. "Cave people grunt and look confused, which means for once, you're all perfectly cast!"
"Some of us more than others," MK snickered under her breath with a look at Ripper.
“Watch out!” Ripper warned her.
"Okay," Chris continued, "cave people in prehistoric flicks do two things: make fire, and use tools made of bones. Technically," he added, "you should also know how to bring down a mammoth with a stick, but since we didn't have enough room in the budget, no mammoth, no challenge."
He walked over to a clothing rack bearing several loincloths of various sizes and colors, where Chef, who was in his own loincloth, was standing. "Here are your costumes," the host told the castmates. "Get into character, people!"
"You have got to be joking," Millie hoped.
"I never joke," Chris told her, quickly losing his serious tone to a bout of laughter. "Actually I do, but never about something this funny."
"Don't worry. You'll be the hottest cave girl here!" Chase told his girlfriend.
"I don't want to wear animal skins, but your compliment is already lifting my spirits up," Millie smiled back and pecked his cheek with a kiss.
Confessional: Topher
“A prehistoric challenge will be a great way to show off my body,” Topher gloated arrogantly. “That's why I'll be picking a fur speedo. Who wouldn't want to see my six-pack?”
Confessional Ends
The scene flashed over to an obvious prehistoric-inspired set consisting of multiple strange-looking trees set up against a backdrop of rock spires. The camera zoomed in on a central hillock, then cut to a close-up of Chris as he walked through the area. "Hello, cast," he greeted with a grin. "Nice to see you all decked out for the competition!"
The castmates were shown lined up in a row according to their teams and wearing the loincloths that had been provided: Justin and Topher in furry speedos that showed off their muscular chests; Chase, Millie, MK, and Ripper in full-body loincloths similar to the ones worn by Chris and Chef; and Anne Maria and Jasmine in what amounted to furry bikinis.
"And might I say," the host told them all, "you all look pre-hysterical!"
"I really look good in leopard skin," Jasmine marveled as she looked down at her outfit.
"Agh!" Topher winced, rubbing his backside where something small and white seemed to be sticking out. "Did you remember to have these declawed?"
The footage cut to Chris in his control tent. "Please note," he calmly told the camera, "no animals were harmed in the making of this television program. Okay," he scowled and looked off-camera, "we good?"
The scene was now back at the challenge. "Let me get that for you!" Anne Maria volunteered, quickly picking at the troublesome piece. “All better?”
“I am now,” Topher shot a suave smile at his girlfriend.
"Chef!" Chris exclaimed dramatically. "The tools for the first stone age challenge, please!"
"Here's your rocks," Chef obliged, joylessly handing out a single rock to each castmate from the pile he was carrying. MK accepted hers with a blank face and immediately started to look closely at it, and Ripper did the same but with more enthusiasm. Chase was last to be shown, and immediately raised an eyebrow at the stone in his hand.
"Rocks?" the daredevil repeated in disbelief. "I think we should tone down the 'Stone Age' thing a little."
“Says you,” Ripper said in a miffed voice. “Rocks are good for a lot of things. Breaking windows, giving them as presents to your annoying cousins, making art on them…the possibilities are endless! And I know because I did all of them!”
“A rock being friends with other rocks? What a surprising discovery,” MK snarked.
As a reward for her smart mouth, MK had a rock dropped on her foot courtesy of Ripper, and she held her foot in pain as she squealed.
"I told you to watch out," Ripper told the pained girl smugly. "Friends always come through!"
(Commercial Break)
A long-distance shot of the film lot was shown as the episode resumed, before cutting back to Chris as he explained the first challenge. "First team to collect the hidden firewood," he told them, "and use the flint-stones to make fire, earns something to help 'em with the second challenge! Ready?" he furrowed his brow deviously as the camera zoomed in for a close-up. "Aaand, action!"
The Grips looked startled for a moment, but quickly scattered.
The scene skipped ahead, showing Jasmine looking at a bush and picking up a stack of wood from behind it while Ripper ran past. MK walked into the foreground, looking around inquisitively, but before she could take another step, she was grabbed by Chef Hatchet.
"Hey, let me go!" she demanded as Chef dragged her over to him. "My modesty needs to be protected!"
"Hand it over," Chef told her sternly, indifferent to her protests.
MK's eyes briefly went wide. "Hand over what?"
"You know what I'm talking about," Chef grumbled. "The camera guy caught you smuggling something in!"
MK pursed her lips, but looked slightly relieved. "It was just a screwdriver," she told her captor, taking the tool out and handing it over.
Just then, Ripper ran by screaming. "Somebody help! I don't want to be that thing's lunch!" The camera cut to him as he ran out from behind a particularly large tree carrying a load of firewood and getting chased by one of the large, predatory Woolly Beavers similar to the ones that had inhabited Boney Island the previous season. As he kept running and screaming, Chris walked over to Chef and MK, laughing happily.
"Looks like Ripper found the wooden beaver dam from the set of 'Rodents, Who Kill!" Chris told the camera.
Ripper and the beaver ran past behind them, prompting Chef to chuckle and add "And 'Rodents Who Kill: Part Two'!"
"Does anybody have a mammoth-sized rib?!" Ripper screamed as he ran past in front of the three, dropping a piece of wood as he was chased by two beavers.
"Um," MK said blankly as she watched her teammate run around. "Are those beavers real, or animatronic?" She looked over at the host who seemed to be thinking it over, then looked away. "Forget I asked," she said dryly.
Confessional: Ripper
Ripper gave his confessional covered with scratches and scrapes, hair messed up and bandages being wrapped around his forehead and right arm by someone mostly off-screen.
"I can't stand MK and she hates me," he told the camera. "That's how it's always been and is always gonna be," he said before thinking. "But I have been taught to always keep my enemies closer, so it's important that me and MK are on the same team, even if we're mortal rivals."
Confessional Ends
"Don't just stand there," Ripper shouted at MK, who was now watching alone. "Give me a hand!"
MK rolled her eyes, then picked up the piece of wood Ripper had dropped earlier. She threw it at the lead beaver, landing it in its mouth and causing it to skid to a sudden and startled halt. The second beaver, however, did not stop as well, and soon collided with its companion. As the two rodents began to snarl and squabble with each other, a relieved Ripper rejoined her teammate.
"About that!" he admonished the sarcastic woman. "Couldn't you have done that before?"
"I could have," MK said simply, grabbing the wood out of Ripper's arms and walking off. "Now go find more wood," she commanded, leaving Ripper to scowl in annoyance.
A growling alerted the bully to that the killer beavers had ceased fighting, and Ripper began to run and scream away from them again.
The camera cut to the Grips gathered around a fire pit.
"So does banging rocks together actually make fire?" Justin asked as he tested it out with two of the stones his team had been given while Anne Maria arranged the firewood that had been brought. "I always thought that was something just for the movies."
“We just need the right amount of power in the strikes and a fire will come,” Topher explained.
"Let me do it," Millie said as she grabbed the stones. "I was a girl scout in elementary school."
Confessional: Millie
"I was a girl scout," Millie told the camera, "but one of the more skilled girls, Riley Ingrid, wouldn't stop teasing me for my lack of social skills and it got to a point where I quit just so I wouldn't get my self-esteem damaged." The author gave off a sigh. “I wonder how far I could've gotten.”
Confessional Ends
“Don't worry, team,” Millie told them. “I'll have this done faster than a chipmunk nibbling a nut.”
"I can see why people invented lighters," Anne Maria said as she watched her banged the rocks together.
The camera moved over to Jasmine and Chase watching the Grips. "So how has it been over on the Grips?" Chase asked his teammate. "Has Millie talked about me?"
“One, Millie still cares about you, and two, we shouldn't be focusing on that right now,” Jasmine said sternly.
“Sorry. I was just asking,” Chase said.
Confessional: Jasmine
"This is going to sound pretty petty coming from me, but Chase and Millie dating is kind of reminding me of Brick," Jasmine admitted. "I'm still trying to push him out after the cheating he did, and Millie hasn't talked about Chase the whole time he was gone. I'm hoping that Chase will be as challenge focused as Millie."
Confessional: Topher
"Anne Maria is rocking that fur bikini as much as I'm glowing in my fur speedo," Topher confessed. "If we were actually in prehistoric times, we'd be the perfect couple!"
Confessionals End
"Things are finally heating up!" Chris announced happily before the focus moved back to the Grips.
"You can do it!" Anne Maria cheered as Millie struck her rocks together fiercely, producing a few tiny sparks. The camera panned over to the Gaffers, showing that Ripper and MK had rejoined their comrades while Ripper struck his rocks.
"I love it when sparks fly!" Chris told the camera.
The focus alternated between Millie and Ripper as they banged their stones and glared at each other, the music growing tenser and the close-ups getting closer with each pass. The two were eventually shown in a split-screen together, and as they each prepared another strike, the sound of a fire being lit startled them both.
Ripper's half of the screen slid away and the camera pulled back, revealing a roaring fire by the Grips.
"You did it!" Topher cheered.
"Great work, Millie!" Anne Maria added happily.
"I thought for sure you'd be the first to burst into flames, Richard!" Chris snarked. "Grips win the first challenge!"
"You gave me fake flints!" Ripper protested. "Nobody could start a fire with these stupid props!"
Chase grabbed the rocks, then struck them together one last time, which finally lit the firewood. "Looks like I got lucky," he said smugly.
Ripper growled in frustration.
The film lot was shown from a distance again as the same loud and deep horn blared. The shot cut to Chris standing with the massive instrument, grinning proudly. "Yup!" he told the camera. "Still lovin' this crazy thing!"
A flash took the scene to the contestants lined up with their back to a bubbling tar pit. "Time for our second caveman movie challenge!" the host announced as he walked into view. "But first, Chef will pass out your rewards from this morning. Chef?" he called out. "Weapons, please!"
The camera cut to Chef as he pulled a brown sheet off what turned out to be a pile of bones, all either femurs or humeri.
"Hold up," Chase said, mildly disturbed. "You're saying that our reward is bones?"
"Hey, for cave people, bones were cutting-edge technology," Chris told him as Chef handed out a tiny arm bone to each of the Screaming Gaffers, and larger leg bones to the Killer Grips.
"I hate to interrupt the most important man of the show," Ripper spoke up insincerely, "but how come they get the big bones, and we get these tiny things?"
"Because they won the first challenge?" Chris replied with disbelief. "I thought that was pretty obvious."
"Well, it's obvious that I should get a big bone," Ripper stammered in embarrassment. "I've seen bigger bones in chicken wings than what I'm holding."
"Just deal with it," Topher said. “It's not our fault that we did better.” A tiny bone hit him in the nose, causing him to moan.
Chris cleared his throat, hands on his hips and visibly annoyed. "The props department for caveman movies are bare-bones," he informed them, holding up a small arm bone. "Which means these are all actors have to fight their on-screen enemies with."
"Enemies?" Millie asked in alarm. "What enemies are we talking about?"
"Each other of course!" Chris announced excitedly. "Grip Tribe versus Gaffer Tribe!"
"That's my kinda challenge," Anne Maria said with a confident smirk as she hefted the giant femur she'd been given.
“No doubt about it," Topher told her. "I've seen you go up against an alligator before."
"Lovin' the enthusiasm, guys," Chris told them, "only you'll be fighting over there!" He pointed to the bubbling tar pit behind them, and the camera panned over to a pair of rough stone pillars standing in the middle of the tar pit.
"Each player that knocks his or her opponent off the column into that fake bubbling tar pit," he explained as the camera cut to a close-up of the pit, "scores a point for their team." The shot cut back to the grinning host as he dramatically proclaimed, "To the tar pits!"
Millie and Chase were the first pair up, the girl on the left and the boy on the right.
"I'd go easy on you normally," Chase told his girlfriend, "but me and my team need to win a challenge."
“No hard feelings,” Millie shook it off. “You guys are overdue.”
"When do we start anyway?" Chase called down to the host.
"Oh don't worry," Chris answered with a dark smile, "you'll know!" He laughed a few times, then took a deep breath and blew hard into his massive curved horn.
The booming noise startled the two contestants, causing each to nearly lose their balance. It was Chase who recovered first, however, leaning forward and accidentally throwing his small bone at Millie. Already unsteady, that was all it took for her to fall backwards off the column and plunge screaming into the tar below.
"Aww, gross!" she groaned when she resurfaced covered in fake tar.
“My bad, Millie!” A quick-pan back up to Chase showed him looking down apologetically, and a cut showed the other Gaffers celebrating.
"That's one point for the Gaffers!" Chris said from off-screen, and the shot cut to Millie as she pulled herself out of the pit.
"Thanks for helping me," Millie told her teammates. “Sorry for losing that round.”
"It's just the first one," Anne Maria said back. "We'll definitely bounce back."
"Next up," Chris said as he walked over to the team, "Justin and Ripper!"
"Booyah!" Ripper cheered, pumping his fist. "It's my time to shine!"
His revery was broken by a sudden and terrifying roar from above, the shot cutting to above the columns as a few prehistoric geese similar to the ones that had lived on Boney Island flew into view.
"Uh-oh," Chris said. "Looks like Millie's blood-curdling screams have attracted a swarm of prehistoric pterodactyls! This," he said as the camera switched back to his close-up, "should make things interesting!"
"Cool special effects, man. High five," Justin said, looking up in amazement and holding his hand out for Chris.
"Oh," Chris said while quickly backing away from the model, "totally special effects."
The monstrous geese were still circling when the footage flashed ahead, panning slightly to the left to show Ripper staring the camera down. "You're out of your league, eye candy," he said, "even if your bone is bigger!"
Justin cringed in terror as the geese around them roared, but gripped his bone tightly with both hands and focused on his opponent. "Bring it!" he told his competition.
As though on cue, one of the geese rammed Ripper in the back, causing him to fall towards Justin. The burly teen tried to hang on by grabbing his foe by the loincloth while the goose flew off, but he dragged both of them off the pillar, unintentionally stripping Justin of his loincloth in the process.
Confessional: Justin
"I'm gonna win the million," Justin told the confessional camera, utterly coated with tar, "but that shot of me standing atop the stone column is worth even more. It's gonna be an iconic image for the series.” The handsome boy took a moment to admire himself. “Hey, my skin does look even better with the tar."
Confessional Ends
The two boys were shown splashing into the tar and quickly surfacing, most of the other contestants looking disappointed by the result.
"Uhh, whose is this?" Ripper asked, holding up some tar-covered wad and looking at it in confusion.
Justin looked down at his body, then looked over at his foe with widened eyes. He quickly snatched the wad away from Ripper and sunk under the pit in order to put it back on. After doing so, he resurfaced and climbed out of the pit.
"And with that tie," Chris said, ducking into the shot with a grin on his face, "the score is still 1-0 to the Gaffers. Next up, Topher and Jasmine!"
Topher was hunched over on the top of his column, twirling his large thigh bone and smirking confidently. "I know I got you as my opponent, but I have the power of a huge bone on my side while you have a small bone," he told the Aussie standing opposite him.
"Don't count your chickens before they hatch, mate," Jasmine replied with an equally confident smile. "You have no idea what I'm capable of!"
The horn was sounded, signaling the start of the fight. Topher immediately took a swipe at Jasmine, but the tall girl ducked and used her weapon to deflect the blow over her head. Before Topher could make another move, a grunting noise got the attention of both competitors.
A pair of woolly beavers had arrived at the edge of the tar pit. The shot cut back to the duelists, both shooting curious looks down at the rodents.
"Eh, no worries," Topher said after a second. "They're not even real!" The fanboy took another swipe at Jasmine, who just barely leaned out of the way in time. Jasmine made no attempt to counter, and simply looked from her opponent to the lurking beavers.
Confessional: Jasmine
"I'm positive that the beavers were real," Jasmine told the confessional camera. "And even if they were animatronic, they're just there to interfere with the challenge."
Confessional Ends
“Would you do me a favor and stand still?" Topher griped as he missed another swing at his opponent, who still kept looking between the fanboy and the beavers.
"Topher!" Anne Maria called out. "Watch out! Those beavers are comin’ your way!"
"What?" Topher replied with considerable disbelief, finally looking down again as the two beavers jumped into the tar and began to swim across towards the columns. "I have to make this quick then," he commented before quickly blocking a thrust from Jasmine.
"Don't let some overgrown rats ruin this for us, Jasmine!" MK hollered before the camera cut back to the beavers. One began to climb the column on the left – the one assigned to the Grips – while the other took a large bite out of it.
"Whoa. Who knew prehistoric beavers could eat plaster?" Jasmine commented idly as Topher's column began to sway and the dirty blond struggled to keep his balance. "Not that I'm complaining about the assistance," she added with a smirk before thrusting her bone in her hands towards her opponent.
"I was about to say the same thing!" Topher said with a smile as he deliberately let his column sway away from Jasmine's weapon so that it missed him, then used his bone to swat Jasmine off her pillar and she screamed until she fell into the tar with a splash.
The climbing beaver reached the top of Topher's column moments later, and its weight sent the whole thing toppling. Tossing away his bone, he quickly jumped onto the vacant pillar, clinging to it and to safety. The other column fell, and both beavers dived into the tar moments after.
Confessional: Topher
“Beavers, you are now my favorite animals,” Topher told the camera. “Just don't tell my cat, Topher Jr., about this. He gets crazy jealous easily.”
Confessional Ends
Chris laughed. "That was awesome! Would've preferred to see some beaver carnage, but you can't have everything. Anyways, that leaves the teams tied at one-all and us with a match between Anne Maria and MK! On the same column! You just can't write this stuff!"
The camera pulled back to show the two girls standing on either side of the host. Anne Maria smirked and said "Why bother havin’ the final round? We all know who's gonna win."
“I'll show you why wits are better than strength!” MK shot back as cockily.
The scene flashed to a close-up of the lone remaining column, the camera panning up to show the two girls crammed together on the top. Anne Maria was holding her bone behind her back, and she appeared much more stable than MK. The smaller girl was already wobbling now and again, but her smaller bone was raised and ready to strike.
"I hope you're ready for a tar bath, techno girl," Anne Maria taunted.
"Not gonna happen," MK replied with a light laugh.
The horn sounded, and MK took a first strike that was not only easily dodged, but nearly caused her to lose what little footing she had. "Whoa-oa-oah!" she screamed, flailing her arms around and eventually regaining her balance – but in the process accidentally knocking her bone against Anne Maria's. The weapon was jarred from the techno's hand and plunged to the tar below.
"Uh oh!" MK cried when one of the prehistoric beavers rose up from the tar with a lump on its head.
Confessional: MK
"Fantastic!" MK griped in the make-up trailer. "The one time I don't intentionally try to tick off anybody, and a beaver is about to kill me because my bone hit its head."
Confessional Ends
With a bellowing roar that nearly shook both girls off the column, the beaver reared back and took a massive bite out of the plaster pillar. The camera quick-panned back to the top as it started to shake and fall, and MK stumbled off it with a squealing scream.
The shot cut back to ground level as the beaver dived down again and the pillar fell, MK splashing into the tar.
Chris laughed, and the footage paused. "I gotta check that out again," he said, and the footage rewound to just before MK fell. It replayed in slow-motion, and the host paused and zoomed in on MK's horrified expression as she fell. "Hahahaha! That was great!"
"Well," the host said as the footage resumed normally and MK crawled her way out of the tar pit in the background, "I'd say the Gaffers had a better chance at the one million B.C.! B.C.," he repeated, "before carnivores! As for the Grips, they win today's reward!" The camera panned over to show Chef Hatchet driving up in a golf cart with a truly gargantuan side of ribs strapped to the roof. "A mammoth-size prehistoric barbecue!"
The cart drove past Topher, Millie, and Justin, the latter two still covered in tar, and came to a stop right next to the tar pit as the winning team cheered. "Ehh, it's a living," Chef told the camera nonchalantly.
"Don't worry," Chris added. "The Grips may have won today's reward, but," he took a large egg out from behind his back, "we're not gonna let the Gaffers go hungry."
He tossed the egg to a tar-covered Jasmine, who looked at it keenly. "A giant egg? I've seen a lot of them back home."
"Should be enough for four," Chris told the losing team. "You'd better get to work on your fire, though!" The camera cut over to the Gaffers' fire pit from earlier that day, which was still pitifully unlit. The host added "Maybe the Grips will throw you a bone when they're done?"
"Ha ha ha. Barbecue time," Justin said excitedly as he and his teammates approached the cart.
Chef got out of his seat, but in doing so caused the cart to begin rolling towards the tar pit. The Grips were shown gasping in shock, and the camera focused in on the cart as it rapidly approached the tar pit, began to tilt, and finally stopped. The shot pulled back to show Anne Maria holding on to the front of the cart, Topher holding her around the waist, Millie holding onto his waist, and Justin at the end holding onto Millie's arm.
"Pull everyone!" Anne Maria commanded. "I'm not letting our rib get tarred because of some two-bit chef who parks worse than my elementary school bus driver!"
As the four began to pull, the camera panned over to Chef, who rolled his eyes and walked away with a grumble.
"Dang," Chris said, walking over with an impish smile on his face. "And here I was hoping to see the four of you use those bones to hunt like real cave people!"
"Shut up, McLean!" Anne Maria yelled at him as the Grips managed to drag the cart back onto level ground.
The camera panned over to the Gaffers, Jasmine still holding the giant egg in her hands and Chase the only one not covered in tar.
"Bet you're not happy about leaving that team," MK told Jasmine.
"I really missed out on a delicious meal," Jasmine lamented.
"On the bright side," Chase added proudly, "I didn't get tarred today."
"Good for you," Jasmine said uninterestingly. "I'll get started on that egg."
She was about to move when a terrifying cry rang through the air.
"Uhh, Jasmine?" Chris cautiously told the Australian girl. "I think the pterodactyl wants its egg back." The monster goose was shown hovering in the sky above, and it quickly dive-bombed the contestants below.
Jasmine screamed and her teammates scattered, and the goose was soon on top of her, buffeting her with its wings.
"Get off, you goose!" the Aussie shouted and was now fighting back. "I am not your appetizer!"
The shot cut back to Chris and Chef, who were cringing at the fight happening just off-screen. They looked at each other, and shrugged helplessly. "Ehh, they'll be fine," the host said right before another goose-cry was heard. "Probably. And hey, at least we'll be eating nice tonight!" Chef nodded happily.
They looked over at the Grips, who were now digging in to their reward dinner. “Glad I'm not a Gaffer,” Topher chuckled and pulled a large rib off the rack.
Chef and Chris walked off. They passed the Gaffers as they went, Jasmine pinning the goose to the ground while Chase and MK watched in excitement and Ripper, now grinning, finally lit the team's fire.
Confessional: Topher
Topher took a bite out of a rib he was holding. "Gotta give props to Chef for actually managing to cook something as tasty as this," he said while leaning back in the confessional chair. "I wish I did get knocked into that tar pit. Justin told me that it's great for the skin!"
Confessional: Ripper
"I hate prehistoric birds now," Ripper told the make-up trailer camera with a glare. "They're the reason why I'm not feasting on ribs. I wish that cart fell into the tar pit if I wasn't gonna get my share!"
Confessional: Chris
Chris was picking his teeth with one hand and holding a coconut drink in the other. "I know everyone was hoping for the Gaffers to win this challenge," he said, "which is good, because it proves that the underdogs can win." He paused to take a sip from the straw in his coconut. "Sadly, it just wasn't in their favor, even with Jasmine on their team." He shrugged, then picked his teeth again.
"See you next time, kiddies!" he told the camera. "Same Chris time," he tossed his toothpick away, "same Chris channel!" He tossed the coconut away next, and a tinkling crash from off-camera soon indicated it had broken something. "Uhh, wasn't me!" Chris called nervously before dashing off in the opposite direction.
Confessionals End
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
“Excluding us losing the challenge and me getting attacked by a bird, which I managed to overpower, my first day on the Screaming Gaffers wasn't bad at all,” Jasmine confessed to the audience. “And nobody on my team even made an attempt to cheat. Not even MK or Ripper. I do wish for us to win the next challenge. With me being the newbie, I could be the next target for voting!”
Eva - 15th
Geoff - 15th
Izzy - RETURNED
Trent - 13th
Sky - 12th
Brick - 11th
Scott - 10th
Izzy - 9th
Killer Grips: Anne Maria, Justin, Millie, Topher
Screaming Gaffers: Chase, Jasmine, MK, Ripper

Hello Community!
I’m lucky enough to have found a partner who very enthusiastically wants me to finally explore the more dominant side of sex. (Historically I’ve been with pretty inflexible tops, or stone tops, so never really had a chance to seriously explore the top life - if I’m being honest with myself, I am definitely a switch since the few times I got to dabble in demands, it sure as hell felt just as satisfying as bottoming.
SO, while I’m thrilled with this evolution, there’s still a level of nervousness. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to gtfo out of their own head and channel their BCE (big clit energy)? The fake it til you make it is obviously a thing, I’ve had my own fantasies for a billion years, read and watched A LOT and of course, fucking is rarely perfect the first go around, so I’m not expecting perfection by any means but I.am.struggling.
Perfect scenario is I just go to fucking town on her, I don’t want her to do anything for me, it’s purely about her. (This is her ideal as well.) BUT, trickiest part of this: as a bottom, she’s a TOTAL fucking brat, respectfully/with love, so it’s very much CNC with attitude - which imo seems to be like the “easiest” sarcasm type of dynamic to start this journey with. 🫠
The biggest thing with this is that my gf knows me well enough to sense if I’m in my head, which will completely shut her down. We’ve talked at length about my history and she’s very understanding, but she’s got way more experience than I do since A. 70% of the time she’s in top mode and B. She’s been out a decade longer than me. However, although she’s patient, empathetic, and like doesn’t get upset or anything when it’s happened before, her body’s actual physical response is to shut down when there’s hesitation/lessening of confidence since that’s the biggest turn on for her. I’m putting more pressure on myself than I should but no matter what I do I can’t seem to get out of my own way. Please help???

I felt an urge to write this. To help vent some emotions and to lay out my story in case I need to provide it to anyone. TL;DR below.
I began using Yotta in October 2020. At the time, I was recently heading into my first year of University. I had a personal banking account with my mother had access to, as I made it when I was 17. I had my college funds and loans deposited into this bank account. Yet, out of nowhere, I started noticing transactions I didn't place. My mother had been withdrawing money without my consent, and I needed a new place to store my funds: fast. I quickly whipped up a checking account with a bank - yet, I still needed a savings account. I wanted one I could easily draw funds out of without facing any real penalty, since I was constantly shuffling money around. That's when one of my friends sent me Yotta, telling me to install it and make an account with them. I did so quickly so I could have a place to keep my funds.
I looked through Yotta, finding it to be a cute little app. I never cared much for the money-making part of it. Shoot, with my entire 4 years with the app, I only made around 100 bucks. I was just using it as a place to store my funds, and if I got a little extra out of it, so be it. I liked it as I could easily just withdraw money whenever I needed (which was a lot, being a college student). Yotta really did help me save money while I was in college, and the "losing tickets" when you withdrew funds helped incentivize me to keep my money in my savings account. I help a direct deposit going while I worked through school and worked a full-time job on the side. Life was tough, but I was pulling through.
Fast forward to May this year. I'm now a senior at my university, and it's crunch time. I recently got a huge tax refund in April, so I chuck it all in Yotta while I focus on my finals. I work hard and pass my classes with flying colors. I was so freaking proud of myself. a 4.0 GPA double major, while working full time? I felt on top of the world. I still remember walking on stage and grabbing my diploma. I couldn't wait to use my degree further, going to law school and buying textbooks to help me study.
Studying for my finals also took a huge hit on me financially. I had to stop working to focus on studying, so of course my next paychecks were extremely low. I barely had enough to pay rent, and I desperately needed funds to help pay for food. My next rent payment hits, and I finally go to withdraw that tax refund from Yotta. "Oops! Refunds are currently disabled."
What do you mean, currently disabled?
I frantically look through the app, and realize the mess I just got myself into. I went from the top of the world to the dumps. This dinky little app I barely used just prevented me from using my own money to live. How messed up is that?
Then, something caught my eye. What the hell is YottaCash? I never heard of that before. Why are these stupid gambling minigames? This was NOT the app I used before, nor the app I downloaded.
Yotta went from actively helping me save money, to being the one thing that took everything I had in the first place. I'm typing this now from my computer. I am now working overtime hours, six days a week, trying to get enough funds to eat, pay off loans, and fix my rent. I can't focus on my higher education anymore. I'm stuck working deadbeat hours and relying on friends to help me eat more than stale mac and cheese.
I hope this gets fixed quickly. If anyone has any advice, please let me know. I'm unable to take out loans at the moment (due to credit scores and whatnot) and I already downloaded all of my statements from Yotta.
TL;DR I downloaded Yotta as a place to store my funds so my mother would stop sapping my money from me. I went to withdraw my money after my college graduation, as I needed the money to help recuperate funds after taking time off work to do finals and attend my graduation. The funds being limited has forced me into poverty and I do not know if/where my next meal is coming from.

Ok, so I said I would return with the rest of Nathan's story and here I am. My higher-ups already know of my misdeeds when I uploaded part 1 so I don't think I'll be around much longer. Anyway, I spoke to Nathan some more and he was fully willing to finish his story. After hearing it myself and transcribing it, I fully understand why he's in a tube and why I'm monitoring him. After you read this, you will understand why as well. Let's get into it!
Barely standing and gasping for air, Nathan takes a moment to stop running and realizes he has no idea where he is going. He begins looking around to see if there’s anywhere to hide or even, hopefully, find food or at least water. After a moment, he finally spots a few buildings in the nearby distance.
With high hopes, Nathan sprints past the remaining trees ahead and makes it to the buildings. Only one specific building catches his eye. A large sign that reads GROCERY stares at Nathan from the top of the building. Without hesitation, he rushes inside and much to his amazement, there are aisles!
Nathan quickly but quietly scans each aisle. Sadly, he sees nothing. Not until he sees a small pile of snacks lying next to a fallen end cap at the end of an aisle. Excitement dances through Nathan’s body as he runs to the food and begins eating it like a wild animal. He devours every ounce of food he finds until he suddenly hears an unnerving sound.
Listening closely as possible, Nathan hears the sound of cracking bones and ripping flesh. Afraid, yet curious, he looks around the corner of the aisle and spots the legs of a woman lying in her own blood and entrails. Upon further inspection, Nathan sees what he believes to be the creature he and Charlie had seen before. It’s a large thin four-legged animal that most likely was a wolf at one point but is now just a beast. It’s feasting on the entrails of the woman’s corpse and refusing to take its taste buds away from its food. That is until it hears Nathan, who accidentally steps on a bag of chips. It swiftly averts its attention to Nathan and the sight of its face is terrifying. Its face is half torn and its eyes show exactly how bloodthirsty it is. With blood and entrails dangling from its teeth, the beast fully turns its body to Nathan and lets out a deep and disturbing growl.
Believing this to be his final moments alive, Nathan backs up and stumbles into the wall with his eyes closed and fists clenched. He is ready for the reaper to take his soul. The beast closes in on him and readies itself to charge its prey but is suddenly distracted by the voice of unwanted company. “Heel, you stupid mutt!” It’s once again Subject Zero, who is this time covered in large amounts of blood. The beast diverts its attention to Subject Zero and prepares for a fight.
Unsure as to why Subject Zero didn’t just let the beast kill him, Nathan, stands and stares in terrified confusion. As Nathan watches, Subject Zero is attacked by the beast after a failed attempt at taming it. Directly after its attack, the beast is grabbed and bashed against a wall then thrown to the floor. The animal, no longer looking like a beast compared to Subject Zero, stands again and viciously sinks its teeth into Subject Zero’s arm but its life is soon ended. With a large and swift pull on the animal’s rear legs with its teeth still bore into Subject Zero’s arm, its body rips apart and its entrails fall out onto the floor. “I knew you were a waste,” Subject Zero says with disappointment in his voice.
Nathan quickly snaps back to reality and runs out the nearby emergency exit. No longer caring about hunger or thirst, he just keeps running and doesn’t stop even when he stumbles from exhaustion. Inevitably, any hope he once had, is lost when in the not so far distance he hears, “Just because the mutt didn’t kill you, that doesn’t mean that I won’t!”
Still running further into the woods, Nathan begins to stumble. He finally stops and falls to his knees as he begins to believe he is going to die here. He falls onto his back and lies in the grass around him while releasing a long but relaxing sigh. Nathan can feel the cold hard ground beneath him as he looks up to the sky.
Filled with raging guilt and regrets, Nathan stares up to the sky in silence. It gets so silent, he can hear everything around him. He hears the wind sing through the leaves of trees. He can even hear water flowing nearby. Water! Unsure of where, he looks up quickly and listens. Finally, he spots a creek nearby and climbs to his hands and knees.
Unable to fully stand, Nathan crawls his way to the creek ignoring all of his surroundings. He reaches the creek and practically bathes himself in the near freezing water in an attempt to feel refreshed. Afterwards, he begins to guzzle the water in handfuls.
After many handfuls of water, Nathan notices something odd. The water tastes metallic as if you were sucking on an old copper penny or silver spoon. Upon this realization, he also notices the color of the water seems off. Unsure of why, he looks around only to find something far more disturbing than he imagined. An amalgamation of mutilated corpses sit nearby rotting on the rocks of the creek shore.
Realizing he had just drank water contaminated with rotting corpses of innocent people, Nathan starts getting a sick feeling in his stomach and attempts to look away but can’t get his eyes off the sight. Finally breaking, he begins gagging vigorously. He loses control and starts puking uncontrollably before ultimately collapsing from pain and disgust.
Nathan finally gets up after lying on the ground for a moment. Hoping to find at least some form of shelter, he manages to get himself up to his aching feet and stumbles his way down the creek. Eventually, he reaches the end of the creek where a large pipe is sticking out from the ground at an angle. The pipe, being large enough to fit a man, seems like a perfect place to shelter in. Before fully deciding to sleep there, Nathan looks inside hoping that it may lead to an exit from the dome but is quickly disappointed when he sees only dirt and mud. Nathan no longer cares and decides to climb into the pipe. He manages to make it an adequate resting area. Soon after, he is unable to keep his eyes open and finally falls asleep.
“Nathan, wake up. You’re going on live television.” A very familiar voice whispers to Nathan. He opens his eyes expecting to see different surroundings, but instead, he sees Charlie sitting next to him in an unfamiliar building. Obviously confused, Nathan hesitates to even move but decides to go with it. He’s led out to a room with a male interviewer, revealing that he is on a live television interview.
The interviewer looks to the camera and says, “Welcome to TalkTime, I’m your host, Tim Wiesly, and today, we have Nathan White. Just in case you don’t know, Nathan is a brilliant reporter and reports anything in the most brilliant ways. One specific story he covered about his near-death experience is what we would like to talk about today. So, Nathan, could you tell the viewers more about your experience?”
Nathan hesitates at first but oddly starts believing that he made it out of the hell he was in and just dissociated. He starts telling the interviewer everything that happened to him.
“Well, Tim, for starters, my colleague and I had found evidence that Envirodome was a test facility. Little did we know, one test they ran there was still in the facility after decades. We then found all the missing people over the years but they were unfortunate and passed away at the hands of the facilities test subject. I eventually lost my colleague and had a run in with a rabid animal as well but I got away and managed to find a place to sleep. After that, I climbed out and decided to… to…”
Nathan stops in his tracks as he realizes he can’t remember what happened after the tunnel.
“Wait. Wait, this can’t be real. I vividly remember Charlie going insane. And all those other people started losing their minds and they all started killing each other. I remember all that, yet I can’t remember a damn thing after falling asleep in that tunnel! What the fuck is going on?”
Charlie comes running out and attempts to calm Nathan but fails as Nathan screams back.
“You’re dead! You’re fucking dead! I know you are! You aren’t real. None of you, none of this! None of it is real!”
Soon after realizing everything is fake, all of Nathan’s surroundings start changing. Everything around him becomes morbidly dark and people become mutated corpses, all of which walk over to him. They all start screaming at Nathan, resulting in him breaking and he loses his mind to the brink of insanity. Out of the dark shadows, Subject Zero walks into the area as if he were a dark god who created him and was ready to destroy him. Suddenly, everyone surrounding Nathan abruptly stops screaming and looks at him. Then they all in perfect sync say, “You’re losing control, Nathan.”
Nathan angrily stands tall and yells, “Leave me alone!” After this fierce scream with his eyes shut, Nathan suddenly hears nothing but the sound of running water. He opens his eyes only to find he was still in the town under the dome. Only, now, it is somehow nighttime. Suddenly, he’s startled by the sound of splashing water. Nathan quietly looks up from the inside of the tunnel he’s lying in. In a decent distance away, Nathan sees two mannequins throwing multiple bodies into the already corpse-filled creek. Although, one body stands out amongst the rest. Charlie's. His body is mangled and mutilated. Nathan feels sick and guilty as he stares at his dead friend.
Soon, Subject Zero’s voice is heard, resulting in Nathan realizing he needs to sneak out of the area. He quickly climbs out of the tunnel and looks around. He decides his best option is to go in one direction until he hopefully reaches an edge of the dome. He believes it may help him reach the overseer’s office where the self-destruct button is.
With his new plan, Nathan quietly sneaks away until he accidentally rams into the edge of the dome. He becomes angry at first for being dumb enough to run into it, but eventually realizes he could be on his way to salvation.
Nathan, still tired, stumbles around the edge of the dome and looks strange considering the walls are simulated to look like more land. Even though Nathan can barely handle all the stress, he still forces himself to keep moving with high hopes to avenge his deceased friend. He keeps going until he stumbles over a small brush pile. He falls onto his face and notices blood pouring from his nose.
Assuming his nose has broken from the fall, Nathan quickly checks it but oddly there is no pain and the bleeding has already stopped. He’s confused but doesn’t care as he’s determined to escape. He gets up and eventually reaches an odd looking spot of the dome wall. With a closer look, he realizes it’s a door. Full of hope, Nathan quickly opens it and discovers a staircase leading to the overseer’s office.
Nathan runs up without hesitation. He reaches the top of the stairs and makes it to the controls. Being dark, Nathan feels around for a light switch but as he thinks it, the lights come on. Now with light, he sees papers lying everywhere, all with information of the dome. Apparently, the government had the technology to make all this without ever letting the public know. It was built with a self-destruct button as safety measures if anything within the dome went horribly wrong. Although Nathan thought it would be an explosion as most self-destruct buttons cause, the dome was made to disassemble itself as it counted down, allowing the slight possibility of reaching the only entrance and exit doors of the facility.
Nathan realizes he may actually have a chance to escape this hell and avenge his friend. After a small pause, he gets back to searching for the self-destruct button. He stumbles across a glass casing labeled ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’. Nathan opens the casing and prepares to press the button but is quickly distracted as a voice breaks the silence.
“This place hasn’t been real after all these damned years?” Subject Zero reacts angrily as he slowly walks toward Nathan. “I knew this place seemed a bit small, but now that I know I can get out of here, I’ll bring my tests to the whole damn world!”
“Why would you even want that?! Every single test you have done with that fucking serum has been a failure!”
“No… No, I’ve perfected my serum.”
“What the FUCK do you mean?”
Without a single other word, Subject Zero rushes toward Nathan. Nathan quickly reacts and raises his arms in defense. Suddenly, Subject Zero flies backwards as if he was shoved with incredible force. They both now know Nathan was the cause.
“That. That is what I mean.” Subject Zero says with a grin on his face.
“No, no, what the fuck. How?!”
“You really think I didn’t take the opportunity to inject a new version of the serum into you.”
“But- but there wasn’t an injection hole. Everyone else had one.”
“That’s the great thing about it. I perfected it so much that your healing is far greater than even mine AND you didn’t lose your mind like I did. That’s all I ever wanted…”
“Screw you…” Nathan clenches his fist and swings a punch at Subject Zero. Realizing things move just from his thought now, Nathan opens his hand and telekinetically throws things at Subject Zero. The two begin to have an all-out super powered brawl as Subject Zero explains to Nathan that the serum is why every pain he’s felt while in the dome went away nearly immediately. The telekinesis just happened to come into play later on. Then suddenly, Nathan is slammed through and out the overseer’s office windows. Subject Zero jumps down onto him.
Nathan gets weaker with each hit he takes but still fights on. Before he gets up, he notices that where the broken window is, the walls show their true colors of concrete gray and glass. Aside from the window, Nathan notices the door to the office is still wide open. He quickly gives Subject Zero a powerful kick to his abdomen and jumps up to run.
Nathan runs quickly up the stairs and to the self-destruct button after leaving his enemy on the ground outside. As he reaches the button, Nathan looks out the broken window at Subject Zero and prepares to press the button.
Nathan slams his hand onto the button as Subject Zero yells out in hatred. Nathan, expecting something to happen, waits. Subject Zero laughs hysterically but then suddenly is cut off by a loud voice projecting across the whole dome. “COMMENCING SELF-DESTRUCTION SEQUENCE.”
Nathan notices Subject Zero is distracted and uses this as his chance to escape. 10, 9, 8…… The countdown begins and the sun begins to rise as Nathan runs out of the office and past the unaware Subject Zero. 7, 6, 5…… The countdown continues and the facility begins to collapse as Nathan passes through the woods where he drank from the creek and soon passes the concrete room where the other people were held captive. 4, 3, 2…… The countdown gets closer to an end as the dome collapses quicker and Nathan rushes past the old house he was stuck in before. Soon enough, he gets onto the road that led him and Charlie to the town inside the dome and gets even closer to the door but suddenly Subject Zero is following behind. This time, he’s so angry and determined, Subject Zero uses his telekinetic powers to control the mangled corpses that he’s kept. He’s headed for either the door or Nathan, but Nathan doesn’t care.
1…… The countdown comes to an end and the entire dome collapses above. Subject Zero, far behind with his army of corpses, stops and accepts what is coming but Nathan keeps running in hopes to escape before the weight of a million tons comes crashing down onto him. Soon enough, the dome becomes nothing but rubble.
The entire area where the dome once stood, is now a ginormous pile of rubble and all that stands are a few trees and small bits of buildings. Nothing could have lived from inside. Unless you were close to the doors.
Nathan, barely standing or even really alive, stumbles around the rubble. With his new powers, he uses his telekinesis to move a large piece of steel revealing a small group of men nearby. Within this group are a couple of men who are clearly scientists of some sort but the others are clearly military. Nathan runs to them with hopes of help but suddenly…
“Stop right there!” One of the men yells out angrily but with a quiver in his voice. “Put your heads above your head and don’t speak!”
“Wait! I just need help!”
“I said put your hands above your head!”
Nathan is confused so he looks around in the hopes that maybe Subject Zero is who he spotted. Sadly, the guns are all being aimed straight for him.
This is the end of Nathan’s story. But it isn’t the end of mine. After hearing Nathan's story, I have an understanding of why he’s in the tube here. I can firmly admit that I’m terrified. I had no idea this is why I was sent here. I was led to believe he was just a possible danger and I needed to monitor him and continue brain scans. Little did I know, this is why.
I know it seems a bit strange and even unbelievable but I have no real reason to not believe a man trapped inside a tube. But now that he has spoken to me, he’s asked me to help him. However, I have no idea how. Aside from letting him out, there’s nothing else I can do. The higher-ups here are strict and have specifically told anyone working here not to listen to Nathan. On top of that, they're already suspicious of me. I suppose, getting his story out is one way to help him but he also wants out of here.
I don’t know what to do, but I do understand I’ve already gone too far by even listening to him. Hell, he may even be as dangerous now as Subject Zero from the story he told me. If he is, I could release a madman into the world. If he isn't, I'm letting an innocent man suffer alone in a science facility. Screw it. I’ve come to terms with what must happen. I’ll release him the moment I can, if I even can. Once this story is shown to the public, I may end up terminated. Not from my job, but from my life. If this happens then I’m sorry to Nathan. If Nathan turns out to be a danger as well, then I’m sorry to all of you. For now and possibly forever, goodbye.
PART 1:
https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/1d7hsgf/im_a_scientist_and_a_man_in_a_tube_is_telling_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

When someone you love just disappears, it messes with your entire life. For me it was my 13 year old brother David. I loved my older brother so much. We were living in a small farm town in the Pennsylvania countryside. At that time we were living in one of the oldest houses in town. Our house was built sometime in the late 1700s.
On the night he went missing, I remember my parents weren’t home that night for whatever reason, but back in the 80s it was considered okay to leave your kids home alone. Me and my brother were both sitting on the floor in the living room, listing to the radio broadcast. My brother asked me to fill him a glass of Hawaiian Punch. After I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass, he had completely vanished from the living room.
I remember that exact moment as clear as day. I thought he was playing a trick on me, I played along but when I search every room in that damn house, not a hair was out of place. He couldn’t have gone outside because I was by the front door the whole time, and the windows were sealed shut since by the previous owner. The basement door in the living room was wide open. The only place he could’ve gone. When I left to fill up his drink it was shut. I was horrified of the basement as a kid because there’s no electricity down there and it litterly looked like a dungeon. I yelled his name from the top of the stairs countless times but he never answered. Even though I was 11 that basement still scared me.
I remember that night, sobbing uncontrollably, and when my parents finally pulled into the drive way the next morning, I was still in tears when I told them about David. Mom and dad checked the whole house.
I then told dad about how the basement door was wide open, and when he walked down into the basement. I remember sitting on the couch next to the basement door, hoping my dad would walk back up with David, but when Dad walked up those stairs his face had gone completely pale. In his hands were my brothers clothes from the night before. I can’t describe how horrified I was. He dropped them onto the ground, and walked upstairs to where mom was. I then got on the ground and crawled toward the clothes. Exactly what my brother was wearing before he disappeared. I sorted through them. Everything he wore that night, shirt, pants, underwear, socks. Everything stripped from him.
I could here my parents voices from upstairs. My mother than came sprinting down the stairs and got on the phone with the police. My dad ran outside and into the field.
When the police finally arrived the entire police team thought he must have gone outside and got lost in the near by forest, but I knew for a fact he was in that house. The Police officers spent weeks searching the woods and fields near our house. The police checked the basement, but said there was nothing. They closed the case about a half a year later. The entire town assumed it was a kidnapping. I knew it was something to do with that basement but I could never get myself to go down there.
After his disappearance life continued for our family, we turned David’s bedroom into a guest bedroom. I hated how my parents did that, it felt like they were trying to move on. I was unable too, loosing David was a huge damper over my entire family. Something that would hang over our heads our entire lives. Moms way of copping with the grief was just erasing all memory of him. I hated her guts for that.
Every-time I looked at that basement door growing up, I could feel something behind it. I remember one day when I was 16, I was putting DvDs away in the living room, I was sitting a few feet away from that door and I smelt something familiar. The smell was seeping through the cracks of the door. It was what my brother smelt like. I got up and nearly ripped that door off the hinges. I ran downstairs into the darkness. The entire room smelt like David’s old bedroom. It was pitch black, but I knew he was in there. I started screaming his name, I screamed his name for hours until Dad finally came down. Dad couldn’t smell it. He thought I was insane. I remember I couldn’t talk for weeks after that.
Nowadays the 30 year anniversary of David’s disappearance is rolling around. I can say it’s been along 30 years without him. I’m now living alone an hour or so away from my childhood town. I had to get out of there as soon as possible, when I turned 18 I started looking toward apartments in town, and by my 20th birthday I was out the door. My parents continued to live in that house. My mom developed stage 3 breast cancer about 3 years ago and was forced into a group home closer to the hospital. My father was given the option to move with her and sell the home, but he decided to stay there and continue farming. My Mother and father had a tough relationship ever since I left the house so Dad didn’t mind the quiet.
Later on, my dad fell off his tractor and broke his knee, and is now unable to walk without a cane. He then moved in with mom then sold me the land for free and insisted that I moved back into that house. I wanted nothing to do with that house. I had to pay taxes for that house on top of my own taxes. I then allowed tenants move in. They were young couple, late 20s. Of course my stubborn old man was angry with me for letting a desperate couple live in the vacant house. They’ve been living in that house for almost a year now and they called me up last week complaining about a decaying smell coming from the basement. By that time I had learn to adapt from David’s death. I told them I’d check it out the next morning. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I woke up early the next morning and drove to the house. It felt odd driving back their. Those fields, it all felt so familiar. I tried not to think about how scared I was of that basement growing up. Fortunately my dad finally added electricity down in the basement.
I pulled into the driveway. They were both waiting outside for me. They said it smelt like something was rotting down their. I had everything I’d be needing, asbestos masks, medical gloves, eye protection. I worked as an air duct cleaner a few years ago so I have some background knowledge.
I walked into the house, and headed for the basement door. I never seen what It actually looked like down there until now. I opened the door and could immediately smell it, something was rotting in there. I turned on the light switch. Ahead of me was an empty room. It was small. Looked to be about 15 by 10 feet big. This basement had been haunting me for all these years, seeing it with the lights on felt off. The walls were stone, except for one. One of the walls stood out, it was wood instead of stone. The smell was clearly coming from the wood. The wood was rotting. I walked over and I thought the best idea would be just to tear the whole wall down. I started tearing pieces of rotten wood off the walls. Light started to seep into the other side. There was a secret room in the basement. I stopped and infront of me I saw what looked like human flesh. I couldn’t describe how horrified I was. I would rather go to hell than relive that terrible moment.
I started smashing that wall with all the force in my body until it finally gave in. The creature infront of me, just the sight of it made me want to claw my eyes out. It was in a fetal position The skin wasn’t pale, it was white, and it looked like the flesh had been melted to the bones. The fingernails and toenails stretched halfway across the room. The worst part was that it wasn’t dead, it was breathing. It was alive. “David” I said in a terrified voice. It slowly lifted its head and looked at me. The face looked completely mutated, but those eyes, those eyes were my brothers eyes. It tried to speak. It tried with everything in it. That thing was my brother David. I had so many question’s. How was he alive? what did he eat? How could he breath? What the fuck happened? I kept the questions to myself. That was my brother in that basement. This whole time he’s been in that fucking basement. I didn’t say another word to him. I ran upstairs and out to my car. I opened up my glove box and grabbed my gun. By the time I got downstairs, David had stood up. Dragging his long nails behind him. “Julian” he growled. I then shot him in the head.
At the top of the stairs were the tenants questioning the gun shot. They walked down the stairs to investigate. By the time I heard them scream I was already out the door and backing out of their driveway.
I didn’t shoot David because I was scared of him, I shot him because I of how awful the situation was. That was 2 days ago. I’ve been driving ever since. The only time I stopped was to fill my gas tank. I don’t know where the hell I am, last time I checked it said I was in Kansas. I don’t know what to do. Should I join Davis in the afterlife, or should I try to move on. The most sickening thing is not knowing what happened. “What the fuck happened” I keep asking myself. “What the hell happened”

As Ssykrex glides into the gymnasium he finds himself bemused by the amount of new students. He feels a twinge of guilt for taking advantage of the gentle giants fearsome appearance but it isn't his fault these new heavyworlder's are great for business. If even a third of these new pupils stick around he might finally turn his dojo into something respectable. As Ssykrex makes his way to the center of the padded mats he sizes up the new group. A variety sensory organs peer back at him, he can taste their nervousness in the air. Around 60ish locals from the surrounding system all around 3-5 units tall, perfect.
"Greetings Gentlebeings!" the reptilian Auzkul exclaims "and welcome to Self Defense amongst the Stars, My name is Ssykrex and I will be your instructor this evening"
He pauses a moment to retrieve a beaten up holo emitter from his satchel placing on the floor before continuing.
"The subject of today's lesson will be how to defend oneself from the Galaxies newest xenos... Terrans" During the pause he uses the end of his tail to activate the emitter, a fuzzy blue 3d render sputters to life. He gives the emitter a smack and the picture clears showing a rotating Terran standing in a neutral pose. Ssykrex beams in pride as a variety of fear responses are let out, he knew giving the render an intimidating expression would set the mood.
"In today's lesson we will go over the BEST methods you can use to defend yourselves from a Terran, that being said however the best defense against ANY xeno who wishes to harm you is to simply not be there!" A few faces look back him in confusion, Ssykrex continues.
"Flee! Scream for help! Get away from them as fast as possible and as safely as possible. That is your first and best defense. What I will be teaching you today I hope you never need and should only be used as a last resort." A few faces look almost disappointment that they shouldn't be fighting for their lives but it is better to be a coward and live than die to some hab block ganger.
"However sometimes slithering away is not possible, you are cornered in an alley or there is no where to run. In those instances you can and should use what I am going to teach you, it may save your life. This is especially true when regarding Terrans as these primates evolved as persistence hunters" A few faces perk up as the 3d render changes from a neutral pose to one of the Terran running. Ssyrex can't help but think how silly the thing looks flinging it's appendages one in front of the other but a quick flick of his tongue tells him the room does not agree.
"Their stamina is reported to be near limitless and as such running from one when help is not immediately near by is not recommended. They will simply catch up to you and then you will be back where you started except now you are tired." He let's out a small chuckle.
"First lets go over some things you should not attempt" The rendered Terran stops running, returning to a neutral position, the skin disappears revealing the Terran's musculature and bone.
"Being from a heavyworld their muscle, bones and skin are much tougher than the galactic average and while not impervious to laceration or piercing is nearly impossible incapacitate quickly though these means. A Terran can lose 15% of it's blood before it starts to feel any effect and will be incapacitated only once they've lost more than 30% of it. Their internal organs are also protected by their thick musculature and dense bone making it very difficult damage one in a fight" The Terran's torso becomes translucent showing the Terran's inner organs, small noises of disgust can be heard from the class.
"So when cornered by a Terran it is best to first disable them by striking fiercely and quickly at one of their weak points, many of which are located about the head" The skin of the render is returned, it focuses on and enlarges the head of the grimacing Terran.
"First this area of the skull is particularly vulnerable to blunt or gouging attacks" The nose and eyes are highlighted red.
"Like most of us Terrans do not enjoy having their sensory organs attacked, and while their "eyes" are recessed into their skulls successfully jabbing or scratching them will make it much harder for a Terran to pursue you. The nose similarly if stuck with enough force can actually kill a Terran by forcing the bone into the brain." The render shifts cutting off the top of the skull, the red sections now highlighting the chin and neck of the Terran.
"Second are the jaw and throat, also known as the "Windpipe" while I wouldn't suggest these as a first choice if your not capable of being precise they are the quickest way to incapacitate a Terran. If possible a quick blow to the side of a Terran's jawbone will actually cause their brain to jostle within the skull and render them unconscious. A blow or laceration to the "windpipe" will cause quite a bit of pain as well as prevent them from breathing. It is very difficult for a Terran to do anything if it cannot breath much less chase you." The 3d render returns to the Terran to a standing neutral pose.
"This however does present two issues for most of us, one of which I'm sure the majority of you have already thought of" The Terran render doubles in size dwarfing the Auzkul, the Terran's head now nearly touching the ceiling.
"Terrans are incredibly large, on average being 8 units tall but some can even reach 11 units. If I were to try and coil up then leap at a Terran's head I would barely reach their neck and I'm taller than most of you while on my stomach! The second issue is this" The render changes from a neutral position to the Terran standing in a conventional "boxing" pose it's arms held in front of it's face and torso.
"This common fighting position is incredibly adept at protecting most of a Terran's weak points and even an untrained one will take up this position just as a result of seeing it so often in their media. So what is there to do? How can we not only bring the Terran's head down within our reach while also moving their powerful limbs out of the way? Well let me introduce you to the Terran's true weakness" The render focuses and zooms on the Terran's waist the red now highlighting a spot between their legs.
"The Groin"

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25f.
My OCD has gotten so much more severe lately. I’ve noticed I can’t let go of a certain situation I’ve spent the past 2 years ruminating 23/7 because my brain is convinced that if I let go, for some reason that will mean what I fear most will happen. I’m in limerance.
What I fear most has nothing to do with me, it’s the free will of someone else that I can’t do anything about. On top of that, it’s not even something I should be so afraid of. But I guess since I’ve held on for SO long, it feels beyond me.
It feels like it would be the worst thing in the world. But the real worst thing is the time and life I’m losing standing still in fear. My obsession is making me lose everything.
That irrational fear that if I let go, everything “bad” happens consumes my subconscious. It’s like I make a run for it and free myself then keep turning around, back to hell. I’ve noticed I have these patterns with other things “if I do this, this unrelated thing will happen” but this has just been the worst case I’ve ever had.
I keep picturing myself 40 years old looking back on all this time. It literally shatters my heart. I know better, I don’t want to live like this.
I am currently untreated and will be going back to the doctor as soon as I can afford it. How do you guys overcome and soothe these thoughts if you have them?

Demographics: Asian, Male, Public, No Hooks
Intended Major(s): Biology
ACT/SAT/SAT II: 1570 (W 770, M 800)
UW/W GPA and Rank: 3.5/3.8 -> large upward trend, 4.0 in junior year
Coursework: 2 Honors, 7 APs + 1 Self Study, 3 Dual Enrollment

• AP Psychology, AP Environmental Science, AP Microeconomics, AP Macroeconomics, AP Statistics, AP Biology, AP English Language and Composition, AP Chemistry (Self-Study)

Awards:
(Placed 1st out of 40 Teams) in State HOSA Competitive Event (State) & one of 3 teams in Michigan sent to ILC
Top 3 Place at International Leadership Conference Competition in HOSA Competitive Event (International)
AP Scholar w/ Distinction - Granted to students who receive an average score of at least 3.5 on all AP Exams taken, and scores of 3 or higher on five or more of these exams
Econ School Award - 5s on Both AP Exams
Honor Roll
Extracurriculars:
Research Poster and Paper on Biotechnology and Next Genome Sequencing - Research to detect how genetic variation could lead to inherited diseases. Also touched upon Nucleotide Hybridization. The Research Poster will compete in SefMed/ISEF, as well as IFoRE. The Research Paper is peer-edited by professors and will compete in JSHS.
11th and 12th grade, 10hrs/wk, 20wk/yr

1. Biotechnology and Research Sequencing at the University of Michigan (501c3 research organization) - Explored Nucleotide Hybridization, and led group research linking it to a real-world disease. Analyzed related Thermodynamics, PCR, Advanced Linux, and mapping genomes. Presented a business plan on Biotechnology and Next Generation Sequencing Technology (showing how genetic variation could lead to disease).
   1. 11th and 12th grade, 20hrs/wk, 3wk/yr
2. Co-Founder of Biomed Club (Only Student-Made Medical Club @ School) (4yrs) - Led in-school Biomedical-Based Medical Club focused on healthcare careers, connecting with licensed doctors and current medical students to inspire youth and teach them about the experience through the medical process. Expanded membership from 4 to 150 in 4 years by organizing talks for younger classmen about life as a doctor.
   1. 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade, 8hrs/wk, 35wk/yr
3. Shadowed Internal Medicine Physician at University of Michigan - Physician has won several awards in America’s top Physicians by Consumers Research Council, as well as is a part of the John Hopkins Delta Omega Honor Society. I worked in the Biomedical Lab analyzing samples and results for patients (in real-time). I shadowed the actual checkups as well.
   1. 11th and 12th grade, 30hrs/wk, 3wk/yr
4. HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America) Competitor (all 50 states + 11 countries competed) (2yrs) - State Champion (1st out of 40 teams) in my 1st year, Only three teams are sent to ILC from Michigan, Qualified for ILC (International Leadership Conference), and placed Top 3 at ILC. Posted on 10+ nationwide news sites, as well as covered by the media. 260,000 members nationwide.
   1. 11th and 12th grade, 10hrs/wk, 30wk/yr
5. Goldfish Summer Volunteer connected w/City's Children’s Care Center (most vulnerable kids) - Instructed and taught children who have been impaired with neurological, social, and developmental challenges, as well as kids that have dealt with major trauma at a very young age to swim. Participated in a 3-week long program teaching them the basics of swimming.
   1. 11th, 12th grade, 8-10hrs/wk, 4wk/yr
6. Swim Instructor at Swim School - Worked for ~1 year, over 400 hours of work, about 8-10 hours weekly on school weeks, and closer to 15 hours during summer, CPR and Lifeguard Certified. Had several classes, weekly, with kids with disabilities, such as Down Syndrome, Autism, and ADHD.
   1. 11th, 12th grade, 8-10hrs/wk, 40wk/yr
7. Medical Student Shadowing and Cardiac Medicine Exploration at the University of Brown Alpert Medical School - Completed a Medical Interview, a Cardiopulmonary Physical Exam with a patient, reviewed different medical careers, learned about the pathophysiology of the heart, and completed an ethics course on heart transplants.
   1. 11th and 12th grade, 20hrs/wk, 4wk/yr
8. Student Made Club Tutor Board - Nonprofit focused in middle schools to help struggling middle school students with tutoring. We have tutored in homeless shelters, libraries, as well as all 7 middle schools in our district, K-8th grade. We have also tutored at Child Care centers, affiliated with Rescue Mission Ministries.
   1. 11th, 12th grade, 5-6hrs/wk, 25wk/yr
9. Michigan Ref Certified - Participated in overall 50+ hours of ref-related activities, played soccer for 13 years and competed in competitive/travel soccer for 10 years.
10. 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th grade, 2hrs/wk, 13wk/yr (for reffing)
11. 9th, 10th grade, 8hrs/wk, 35wk/yr (for soccer)

Essays/LORs/Other:
2 strong LORS from ap science teachers, 1 from doctor I shadowed
Really good essays/essay writers, will explain reasons why gpa was so low in additional sections
Schools: (in michigan) applying to a shit ton of reaches but only expecting to get into 1 or 2 that I pass the gpa check on
UPenn (ED)
UMich (EA)
Duke
JHU
Stanford
WashU
Brown
Northwestern
MSU
Wayne State

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Specifically, the sort of "stench" it seems to leave on you when you admit you have abusive parents--do you encounter this? If so, how do you deal with it, both internally but also, externally so it doesn't harm you in terms of things like your job and social connections/support?
Some people ask about my parents when we're becoming friends or similar, and I try to keep it succinct. I'll start with "we're not close," and if that doesn't stop the questions, "We aren't in contact, for my safety." At this point, the "stench" of coming from "bad stock" seems to start to attach. People have stopped speaking to me, making up wild accusations that I was "toxic" for admitting that I was dealing with bad parents by not speaking to them, and most say nothing at all. But I get the distinct feeling that such people see me as having a "soiled reputation" or the like for having a family that abused me and I can't speak to. Not even the NC bit--it seems to be mostly the idea that they're bad means I must be raised to be bad, too, or something like that. It worries me. It's bad enough that everyone my parents know is and has been fed a steady stream of lies that I'm a drug addict/mentally ill/"troubled," NONE OF WHICH IS TRUE. I'm not even just not a drug addict or not mentally ill, no no. I've seen psychologists and gone through therapy, and haven't had a panic attack in years and have been "verified" as "not mentally ill" by several therapists, although definitely affected to a degree by trauma--not enough for a clinical dx at this point. But on top of that, I finished 2 graduate degrees and my bachelors on full merit scholarships, have no debt, did scientific research, volunteer constantly, etc. etc. In any other family, I'd be the golden child. I went above and beyond to try to earn the respect and credibility my parents told me I could never have, and now I'm in a place where I'm actually a person people in my city respect. I hold an important role, I'm trusted with huge amounts of responsibility by very important people, and all sorts of other things that reinforce (or should reinforce) the fact that people do find me credible. In professional school, I was repeatedly told by my younger peers that I was so credible, they found it impressive, like I always seemed like I knew what I was talking about (I don't open my mouth unless I do, so). I'm always worried that I'm missing out on romantic partners or that some day someone will decide I'm "stained" and it'll affect my career. My boss is a close mentor and friend and would never, and is bringing me up the ladder rapidly and grooming me (in the positive, healthy, career-oriented use of the word) for HIS job, to take over an extremely prestigious role for my community of immense trust and respect, and I still worry that my reputation as a credible, good person will be marred simply by virtue of not having parents I can show off. Clearly some of this is internal perception, but I also needed to vent, clearly.
I'm not bragging or trying to show off. I'm scared even posting that much, but I'm trying to say, I guess, that no matter how much very concrete external validation of my credibility I receive, I still worry and ruminate. I couldn't bring myself back to therapy for a year (started again 2 weeks ago) because a therapist insisted on talking to my Nmom for "background," I refused and he bullied me into allowing him to only speak to my father (who seems to switch between enabler and demonstrating strong traits of NPD, himself), and then spoke to my mother about me after getting him on the phone against me explicit refusal of consent, with no pretense of it being a tarasoff call or similar. So it was really hard to go back, but I did, and he's good so far. I'm hoping this will help. But I recently found this sub--I'm hoping maybe a peer perspective will be helpful, too.
Any input, I'd love to hear. Even if you can just relate. Or any advice. Not really sure exactly what I'm looking for, other than how other people have experienced and dealt with a similar phenomenon or feeling.
Edit: For context, there was physical abuse and SA, medical abuse/Munchausen by proxy, and general emotional abuse typical of N-parents. I've gone NC in the past but have struggled to maintain it because I was born with multiple health conditions that are extremely severe and they used my health insurance to coerce me into contact, literally writing emails full of "rules" for forced contact and disclosure of private information in exchange for not cancelling my policy they get for free through my father's work. So that's fun. I'm 6 months from freedom and complete NC (I have to get a big promotion and raise that requires I complete a professional exam and other requirements I'm completing), and right now I've managed to actually get them to opt themselves for very low contact by threatening to out their SA to police. I also am getting on my own good health plan I can actually afford next month, finally, for the first time ever, with a salary as a trainee basically (intern) that's over 50k a year. Due to my extreme medical costs that's not enough to support myself, so in December that's when the big promotion and pay raise come through. But that's where we are. In december, I can tell them to f*** off, tell everyone in my family my mother is a pedophile and they enabled her (if I choose) so they can live with that knowledge, and move on with my life without having to ever speak to them again, which at this point is an enormous relief. I've greived losing them, and it this point, it's just salt in the wound. I no longer ever even have the desire to connect with them, but I'm so close to freedom at almost 30 years old. The thing that really hurts though is that it took until almost 30 years old to be an independent adult because I was born disabled to an abusive family that used my physical disability to continue abusing me while claiming I "chose" the arrangement. That part feels like I failed, even though I know I didn't at all.

I want to foremost say that I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this/ respond. It's going to be a long one. It has taken days for me to work up the courage to post this. I just need to get my thoughts out and don't feel comfortable to with anyone in my life.
I have recently started questioning my own transition (ftm) and that causes me extreme anxiety and distress. A few times in the past year the thought has come up very briefly and I’d always cringe thinking about being treated as a woman and therefore validated that I was really trans. The past few weeks, and even more so the past few days, I have been intensely questioning my transition. I feel trapped. I don’t want to keep transitioning but I don’t feel sure about detransitioning. All of my thoughts are jumbled and uncertain. I have been on testosterone for 3 years, I am post-op top surgery/ mastectomy (I’m unsure of what language is used in this community, I appreciate grace), post-op hysterectomy with oophorectomy. I have completed electrolysis for phalloplasty and stage one is scheduled. For the past year I have been questioning my desire to get phalloplasty, and in the past ~6 months or so I have decided I don't want it, but have left my date scheduled due to fear of social repercussions. I have not felt regret about my top surgery, I always hated my chest. But recently when I look in the mirror or am even just laying there with a shirt on it feels weird. When I first got top surgery I loved being shirtless and was often. The past year or so I feel very exposed and uncomfortable shirtless, even at home. I thought it was due to gaining weight, and maybe it is. In regards to my hysto, I have never wanted to be pregnant and my cycle was horrible for me. But I regret getting an oophorectomy so much. I wish I could just stop testosterone for an indefinite amount of time while I figure things out. I have a hormone appt coming up and I plan to talk to her about getting off testosterone and on estrogen. I’m afraid she won’t let me. Maybe that’s an irrational fear, I don’t know. I feel so alone in this.
A huge fear factor for me is that I live a stealth life. My legal name and gender are changed. My parents have completely cut me out since prior to transitioning (my transition definitely strained the relationship but I am confident we always would have ended up no contact due to other factors so fortunately I do not feel like I ruined my relationship with them by transitioning). Due to this, I was basically able to start over in college as a stealth trans man, with no one knowing but my girlfriend (and her family as I stayed there during top surgery recovery). The insurance my college provided for independent students was amazing, so I felt like I had to rush my surgeries to get them before I graduated and lost the insurance. I want to be clear no one was rushing me but myself. Prior to the hysto I felt some uncertainty about it, but I proceeded because insurance had reduced the cost so much I felt like it was now or never. I could've kept the ovaries, but I was gearing up for phalloplasty. I regret this a lot in restrospect because I will always have to take HRT. I am trying to make peace with that, as there are other medications unrelated to transition that I will need for life.
My fear is that I cannot "come out" as a detransitioner because no one even knows I am trans besides my girlfriend and her family. The thought of telling her parents is suffocating. I know she would support me no matter what, but I am so terrified to tell her that this is something I am even considering. The only friends who know I am trans are online trans friends. I do not mean to come off in poor taste, but I do not want to be perceived as a trans woman. I think a large part of living stealth for me was that I grew up in a VERY ACTIVELY homophobic environment, so I was able to love women, as I have known I do since I was 11, without having to exist as a publicly LGBTQ+ person. I understand that I have had privilege living a stealth life and because of this I greatly fear being perceived as a trans woman and honestly I am afraid to be perceived as a lesbian, even though I am starting to think that is what I have been all along.
I recently went to a pride event and I think that is what was the catalyst for me switching from passively questioning my transition to constantly questioning it. While there, I saw more lesbians than I have ever seen in my entire life. I saw butch lesbians. I saw older butch lesbians. I saw butch lesbians with a flat chest like mine. And I felt like maybe there was hope for me to just be a masculine woman. I've been having a mental breakdown since and the worst part is I can't cry because of the testosterone.
Being stealth, I am not dealing with transphobia on a day to day basis. I live very under the radar. And I have absolutely no male friends made post transition, outside of mixed gender friend groups. What I mean is I don't have "bros". I do not fit in with the guys, despite a lot of fruitless effort. In mixed gender friend groups, I'm usually with the ladies. I have a very masculine appearance, but I come across as gay which can confuse people since I have a long-term girlfriend. I tell close friends I am bisexual even though I just like women. Anyway, I had made a few guy friends, but when they found out I was trans (long story not for today) we all stopped talking. All of my close friends are women. Because I am a "man" with a woman, I am left out of a lot of things my friends due out of respect for my girlfriend (ex: not being invited to overnight camping without my girlfriend). I totally get it! I am not saying they shouldn't have their girls night. I am saying that I live a very isolated existence. I am basically not able to socialize without my girlfriend and it isn't healthy for our relationship. We need friends outside of each other. She is a super introverted person and prefers to stay in. I am introverted but definitely more social, and feel somewhat limited. It has always felt like the answer is "make guy friends" but I never succeed. I bond best with queer women. Even though I have many masculine interests, I have yet to meet a guy who shares them, as I am not interested in traditional sports or drinking (shockingly limiting when befriending men). I also should mention I work in a 90% female industry so by nature I am around more women... I feel I am coming to realize that I walk like a man, I talk like a man, but I am not a man. I do not think like a man, I do not make friendships like a man. The only men I connect with are other trans men, which makes me feel like a complete fraud. Again, I apologize if this offends anyone, but it feels like I cannot be a real man if the only men I can connect with are also trans. At work, women are constantly complimenting me for being a man in the field and every time I feel a gross feeling inside, like I'm in a disguise and I am really a woman just like them in the field. Especially when they direct me to work with men because men connect better with men, I feel like such a fraud.
I don't really know where to go from here. I have a lot more thoughts but this is where I will stop for now. I know for sure I want to talk to my doctor about taking estrogen. I would rather be on estrogen while I figure things out than continue to experience changes from testosterone. I know for sure I want to pursue electrolysis on my face. Fortunately I have an electrolysist due to prepping for phalloplasty, so it should be easy enough to get in with her.
Trigger warning ahead. These are my deepest fears/ thoughts about myself, not others. I am afraid it is too late for me. I am afraid testosterone has changed me too much, I have had too many surgeries, I have made too many sacrifices in my interpersonal life, I can't go back. I'm afraid I'll always be perceived as some variant of genderqueer when I have become so adjusted to living perceived as a biological male. I am afraid I'm not strong enough to make the change again. I am afraid I am wrong about all this and might regret detransitioning. I feel so confused and afraid to make any decisions. I just need someone to tell me there's any hope for me. I feel completely alone.

First / Previous / Royal Road / [Patreon](Read 12 Chapters Ahead)](https://www.patreon.com/ObsequiumMinaris)
XXX
"Kayla, move!" Pale shouted as she hurriedly reloaded her weapon, then began to pour fire down on the advancing horde. Several people dropped dead under her onslaught of bullets, but they kept coming, and she was forced to retreat backwards, Kayla following after her.
Pale reloaded once more, continuing to shoot even as she ran away. Her and Kayla sprinted deeper into the forest, trying their best to lose their pursuers, but it was no use – Pale wasn't sure how many she'd cut down, but it simply wasn't enough, as she could still hear them all lumbering through the forest after them.
"What do we do?!" Kayla shouted.
Pale looked around, frantically looking for something they could use. Her gaze landed on the nearby trees, and her eyes narrowed.
"Burn the forest."
"What?! But-"
"Now, Kayla!"
Kayla didn't argue further, instead obliging Pale's request. In an instant, several trees went up in flames, which began to spread through the dense, dead foliage with ease. Once she saw that the fire had been started, Pale grabbed Kayla and pushed her deeper into the forest, then followed after her, taking shots at anything that moved behind them.
The fire spread rapidly, and before long, Pale heard a chorus of panicked screams erupt from behind them. That was both reassuring and worrying – the former because it meant her impromptu plan had bought them some time, and the latter because it wouldn't be long before the flames reached them, as well.
"Back to the beach," Pale commanded.
Kayla bristled. "We can't leave-"
"We aren't. But we need to leave the forest now, while we still have a chance."
Kayla hesitated. Pale instantly grabbed her and forced her to stare into her eyes.
"Do you trust me?" Kayla nodded. "Then listen. We need to get back to the beach, and fast. Understand?" That earned her another nod. Pale let her go, then without another word, began to double-time it back to the beach. Behind her, the forest continued to burn, the bandits still screaming as they were set upon by the flames.
Eventually, they reached the beach, and Kayla doubled over, gasping for breath. She looked up at Pale, and through gulps of air, managed to get out, "What… is your plan now?"
"This. Cover your ears."
Pale snapped her fingers. For a moment, nothing happened, but then, something came streaking across the sky, almost faster than either girl could track it. It fell into the forest, and the moment it did, the entire thing went up in a massive explosion. Kayla was knocked down by the shockwave, landing in a heap on the ground; all she could do was stop and stare at the crater where the forest had once stood, watching the smoke curl up from it into the sky.
"W-what…" She swallowed nervously. "What did you just do?"
"250-millimeter explosive shell," Pale reported. She offered Kayla a hand and pulled her to her feet.
"And… you have more of those?"
"Only a few."
"Y-you… you couldn't use something a little less destructive?"
Pale's face darkened. "That was the less destructive option."
Again, Kayla swallowed nervously, her whole body beginning to tremble as she surveyed the destruction once more. After a moment, Pale checked her weapon to make sure it was fully loaded, then began to march back towards the forest.
"Wait!" Kayla called. "You're going back in?"
"Of course," Pale said without looking back. "We still need to get your father back." She cast a glance back at Kayla over her shoulder. "You coming or what?"
Kayla didn't need to be told twice.
​XXX
The girls marched through the remnants of the forest, Pale listening as Kayla dry-heaved behind her at every mutilated body they found. By her estimate, a good portion of the bandits had died to smoke inhalation or been burned to death before she'd even called in the artillery shell. There must have been a few mages with them, because she could see traces where they'd attempted to douse the flames with water or earth, only to be caught by surprise when she called down the shell on top of them.
There were a few odd survivors, still managing to cling to life through ruined limbs or grievous burns; Pale, for her part, was careful to put them all out of their misery with a single well-placed shot. Kayla whimpered at every man she executed, but she paid it no mind.
This was war as she knew it – brutal, without mercy, and on a certain level, inevitable. As far as she was concerned, these men had signed their own death warrants the moment they'd made a mad dash for the two of them with murder in their eyes. Putting them down was necessary for the success of the mission, same as it always was.
They made it through the remnants of the forest easily enough, emerging out the other side and marching towards the town. The women and children were still there, and upon seeing them and only them exit the forest in one piece, many of them screamed and began to rush them; Pale tensed, raising her weapon just in case, but it proved unnecessary for most, as the people simply ran past them and towards what remained of the trees, trying in vain to search for their loved ones.
"Gods…" Kayla muttered. "I… I didn't think-"
"Don't feel bad," Pale said without looking over to her. "Those men did the same thing to countless other people. Ultimately, they had this coming to them."
Kayla said nothing in response. Pale could tell she wasn't happy with that answer, but it was all she had to offer at the moment.
The two of them made their way to the center of town, where Sven's house was situated. He was still there, Kayla's father still bound and kneeling at his feet. When he saw them approach, his eyes widened.
"Kayla…" he breathed, tears filling his eyes.
"Dad!" she called. She was about to rush him when Pale stopped her by holding out a hand.
"Wait," she said.
"Wait?! My father is-"
"Sven wants you to rush in." Pale turned her attention towards the bandit leader, giving him a pointed look. "He's waiting for one of us to do something stupid."
"Pale-"
"Don't argue this point with me. I can tell just by looking at him that Sven is a cut above the others we've had to fight."
"You have me at a loss, I'm afraid," Sven Greymane said evenly. "You know who I am, and yet, I know nothing of the two of you."
"And we'll be keeping it that way. I'll make this simple – hand over the girl's father or this town will be razed to its very foundation, along with everyone in it."
"Pale!" Kayla protested.
Sven merely smirked. "I think not."
Pale bristled. "Did you not see what happened to all your men in the forest? Do not try to test me, Greymane."
"First off, those weren't all my men. Those weren't even a fraction of my men. Did you truly think I was warrior-king over just this little village?" Sven shook his head. "I have a great many men at my disposal, young lady, not that you will ever get to meet them in-person. As for your little ultimatum… there is one problem with it – if you were going to raze this town and everyone in it, as you claim, then you would have done so already without having to expose yourself to me." His grin widened. "You know what I think? I think whatever you did in the forest, it's much more indiscriminate than you would have me believe. You can't risk doing that again for fear of killing the girl's father, because you need him back for her."
Pale scowled. Sven barked out a laugh. "Ah, I knew I was correct! Well, now that I have you figured out, let's say we have a little chat, hm? Tell me who you are, otherwise I'll kill him right here."
Sven drew his knife again, placing it against his captive's throat. Immediately, Kayla screamed.
"No, don't!" she begged. "Pale, please talk to him!"
"If you kill him, you'll lose your only hostage," she warned. "There will be nothing stopping me at that point."
"You still won't be able to use your strange magic without killing yourself and your friend," Sven pointed out. "And before you say you'll simply walk out and use it once you're a safe distance away, I assure you, that won't happen, either."
"And why is that?"
"Because I'll have killed you both long before you've made it to the outskirts of town. Simple as that."
"You're awfully confident."
"Because I know your weapon doesn't work on me." Sven stretched his arms out. "Don't believe me? Try it. I'll give you as many free hits as you want, even. It'll just make killing you all the sweeter."
Pale's scowl deepened, but she didn't take his bait. Instead, she stood there, trying to desperately think of some way out of this. The only thing that was clear to her was that Sven was right – he must have been a mage of some kind, because just like earlier, her bullets kept pinging off some kind of invisible barrier before they could make impact with him.
That meant her only option was to get up close and personal with him.
Grimacing, she slung her rifle, then drew her pistol in one hand and her own knife in the other. Sven grinned at her once more.
"Ooh, how daring!" he complimented. "It's not often that I find someone with a backbone like you, whoever you are. Tell me, before I kill you – what's your name?"
Pale didn't rise to the challenge, instead beginning to cautiously creep forwards, her pistol trained directly on Sven's head. After a few seconds, his grin faded.
"I said, what's your name?"
Still, she offered no response. Sven's face suddenly contorted in rage.
"Such dishonor…! Very well, then – I suppose I will simply have to have my fun another way."
Then, before Pale could react, Sven pointed past her, at Kayla. A large mound of earth and stone suddenly tore its way out of the ground, and came flying towards her. Kayla was unprepared to deal with it, and Pale heard a dull crack followed by a moan of pain come from just behind her. Instantly, her eyes widened in shock, and she whipped around.
"Kayla!"
Kayla was lying in a heap on the ground, a trickle of blood flowing out from a crack in her forehead deep enough to expose part of her skull underneath. Still, against all odds, she wasn't out of the fight – she struggled to her feet, wincing as she did so. A wave of relief washed over Pale, though it was quick to fade when she heard Sven rush her down.
She turned just in time to avoid having her throat slashed by Sven's dagger. Her heart skipped a beat, and Pale instinctively tried to bring her .45 around, but Sven intercepted it. Pain blossomed across her dominant arm as he impaled it with his knife, forcing her to drop her pistol, the gun discharging a shot that harmlessly pinged off of his barrier before landing on the ground. Before Pale could recover and go for a stab of her own, Sven brutally kicked her in the torso, sending her skidding across the ground; she landed next to Kayla, but leaped to her feet.
"Interesting," Sven observed, his gaze dropping to the discarded handgun lying at his feet. He went to bend down and pick it up, and as he did so, Kayla fired several bolts of lightning at him, but they had no effect. Pale tensed as he picked up the gun, and then aimed it at them.
"How does it work, I wonder?"
Sven's finger stroked the trigger, and the gun barked, discharging a shot into the ground a few meters away from him. Slowly, a wide smile split his face.
"Oh, I like this," he observed, aiming it at them once more. "I like it a lot."
"Kayla, behind me!" Pale shouted. Kayla ducked behind her just in time for a shot to ring out; it struck Pale directly in her body armor, her plates catching the round, causing her to let out a grunt of discomfort as she felt the lightweight depleted uranium deform slightly in order to contain the bullet.
Sven was unperturbed, however – he continued to pull the trigger even as Pale started to advance, her knife in hand. He fired again and again; his technique was off, but by sheer luck, he managed to get a hit in her left shoulder. Pale grunted as she felt the .45 caliber hollow point burrow its way into her shoulder, missing the bone by mere millimeters.
She was counting his shots as he advanced, and by this time, she knew he only had one left. Sven took aim at her once more, and Pale tensed.
Then, at the last moment, Kayla's father moved. He jumped up from his spot on the ground, latching onto Sven's arm and throwing his aim off. The gun discharged one final time, but it wasn't a miss – instead, Pale watched as the round erupted out of the man's back.
"Father, no!" Kayla screamed.
He fell to the ground, clutching at the hole in his torso with wide eyes. Blood poured from his wound; Pale grit her teeth at the sight of it, but there was nothing she could do about it, even as he fell to the ground and laid there motionlessly. Kayla tried to charge past her, but Pale stopped her, holding her there.
"Let me go, damn it!" Kayla screamed, tears pouring down her face. "Father! Father!"
Across from them, Sven stared at the gun, its slide locked back. He attempted to raise it towards them and fire it again, but got nothing. He shrugged, then unceremoniously dumped it on the ground.
"I suppose that was a fun play-fight," he blithely stated as Kayla dropped to her knees and began to sob, her eyes locked on to her father's corpse. "Now then, what to do with you two…? The Beastkin would make a good slave, but the other seems a bit feisty to be a good slave… then again, perhaps her weapons could be useful, if she knows how to make more of them…"
Pale grit her teeth, rage welling up within her. With a final, desperate cry, she reached for her rifle, raising it and dumping another full mag directly into Sven. Just like the last one, it had absolutely no effect. Across from her, Sven shrugged.
"It can't be helped, I suppose," he stated, taking a step towards them. "I'll find a spot for you two yet."
Pale didn't wait to hear more. Instead, she dropped her rifle and took Kayla by the hand, then began to run. Kayla tried to fight her, but Pale wasn't having it – she used all her strength to drag Kayla along as she ran out of the camp, and as she did so, with her free hand, she snapped her fingers just as they reached the treeline.
Unlike the last artillery strike, this was no mere single shell. Behind them, the night sky was suddenly illuminated by an entire orbital bombardment. Kayla gave another choked sob as she watched the entire bandit encampment go up in explosion after explosion, knowing that if her father wasn't already gone for sure, he would be now.
Pale dragged Kayla back to the boat and threw her in, then climbed in herself before pushing off from the shore. She gave one final look behind her, but Sven seemed to have stopped his pursuit at some point, as he was no longer following them. She breathed a sigh of relief as the wind struck the boat's sail, propelling them forwards across the sea. Pale stared up at the night sky as it was rocked by a final few explosions, listening to the symphony of destruction she'd left behind her, as well as Kayla's crying. A hollow pit formed in her stomach as the realization of what had just happened sank in.
She'd failed.
XXX
Special thanks to my good friend and co-writer, Ickbard for the help with writing this story.

I am going through a divorce, and it's truly heartbreaking. My marriage was short, and I know it's my fault for a big part of it. As a very anxious person, I chose a partner and fell in love with an illusion of who he was. At first, I made small compromises and let myself be criticized, corrected, and muted by him. I was ready to do anything to make it work as I fell pregnant very early on. As time went by, I realized I didn't recognize myself anymore. I started feeling like a shell of a person. On top of that, my husband seemed to thrive in this relationship, which made me realize he was never looking for a connection. He was raised in an abusive home, and as a result, he learned how to make himself invisible and how to avoid emotions and conversations. A year ago, I realized that outside of being parents to our kid, nothing held us together. We barely talked, didn't share similar interests, our sex life was cold (not non-existent, just barren of passion and love), and we didn't even spend free time together. Many times I felt like I was bothering him with my existence. I played the role of a wife well, I hosted celebrations, respected him, supported him, and interacted with his family. I felt truly alone. We tried therapy, and I initiated so many conversations. It helped for a few days/weeks, but things returned to normal.
Last year, for a couple of months, I was talking to someone else. It was purely platonic, but I was enamored with how a person could hold so much interest in me. He kept asking about ME, and after some time, I grew attached. I do know it was entirely wrong on my part, and I regret it, but it made me realize that my marriage is NOT normal, that I didn't make up problems. Additionally, my husband started displaying anger management issues, and I got scared of him multiple times. The person I talked to turned out to be a vulture looking for vulnerable people like myself to get an emotional high off of.
Today, I'm already going through a divorce, and I'm convinced it's impossible to be truly loved. My child and love for her is what keeps me going, but I'm lost as a person. I'm only trying to better our situation for her, but I don't know if I'll ever date again. I know I'm attractive, and getting laid is not a concern to me. I'm just terrified to live my life feeling like today and the last couple of years. My cup is empty.
People who have been married for a long time, how did you do it? Is there such a thing as fulfilling love? People who divorced, did you ever find the right person for yourself?

Hey everyone 👋
I just started investing this year and really fell in love with the concept of the “dividend snowball” and wanted to share my strategy and see what y’all think!
Note: this is not a 401k or Roth - those have very easy, safe etf plays. But they’re boring and this account is for fun/leftover money.
Being in my mid 20s, I’m more focused on two things - dividend growth and growth companies with the potential to pay dividends (ex: google and meta recently announcing dividends). I also look to have a solid portfolio of 20 companies (not including schd), most of which are supposed to be buy for life. I’d like to be pretty diversified, but I’m most familiar with tech and financials due to my job and almost every position is a company I personally use in my everyday life (except for my spec plays).
I’m trying to get the allocations to be a bit better - some positions like VICI and CP are overweighted just bc of how I started and others are weighted heavily or lightly based on opportunity- NVDA and COST didnt stay low for too long, SBUX and SOFI are easy DCA.
I have two spec plays, PLTR and SOFI that are kind of low cost gambles, they’re a $15 here or there kinda thing. Their balance sheets are pretty solid and I have a decent understanding of their business models so that’s why I picked those - I’m very aware of their cult-ish status lol
I do like to have around 4-5% in SCHD purely for “motivation” as building dividend growth stocks doesn’t increase your annual returns as much. Sometimes seeing “number go up” is important lol
Let me know what you guys think my top 5 or so or bottom 5 plays should be and why or just any general critiques you have! Maybe I should cycle some out eventually for something else, maybe I’m too underrepresented in some area.
Companies I’m looking at, but didn’t have good entry points: DPZ, TOL, DKS
Thank you!

Hey there everyone, I never know how to start these, so I'm just going to jump right into it! My name is Austin, I'm 31 years old, and I live in Orlando, FL! 🌴
Here is me: https://imgur.com/a/6Uzz1x4 1 of 6
I'm on a journey to find that special someone who makes my heart skip a beat. I believe in creating a safe and nurturing emotional space in a relationship, where we can be vulnerable, open, and truly ourselves. Let's build something amazing together and have a ton of fun along the way. Whether it's sharing our deepest feelings or just laughing at YouTube videos and memes, I'm all in!
One of my life goals is to have a family and kids. If that's not your cup of tea, no worries – it's not for everyone, and I respect that. 😊
Here's a quick snapshot of the things I'm passionate about:
🍳 Cooking: I love whipping up delicious dishes, and I'm always up for trying new recipes. Let's cook up a storm together!
🎮 Video Games: I'm a gaming enthusiast and can't resist a good gaming session. Whether you're a fellow gamer or just curious to learn, I'd love to share the joystick with you.
📺 TV/Anime/Movies: I'm a big fan of all things screen-related, from binge-watching TV series to exploring the captivating worlds of anime and film.
🏋️‍♂️ Going to the gym or Batting Cages: Staying active is important to me, and I used to play baseball. I'd love a workout buddy or someone to join me at the batting cages.
🐱🐶 Playing with my cat and dog (Licorice and Wade): My furry friends are a big part of my life, and I hope you'll adore them as much as I do!
🎺 Playing my trumpet (recently started again from high school): I've picked up my trumpet again, and I'm eager to share some tunes with you. Maybe you can be my number one fan!
🎶 Music: If music could be a love language, it would be my top choice! I'm a massive music lover, and I'm always excited to share playlists and discuss our favorite artists. My musical taste is pretty diverse, but I particularly enjoy Rock, Metal, EDM, Punk, and Musicals.
If you're looking for a partner who's genuine, caring, and ready for a serious and fun relationship, let's chat and see if we click. I'm excited to get to know you, share experiences, and build a future together. Feel free to reach out, and let's start this adventure! 💫

Hey there everyone, I never know how to start these, so I'm just going to jump right into it! My name is Austin, I'm 31 years old, and I live in Orlando, FL! 🌴
Here is me: https://imgur.com/a/6Uzz1x4 1 of 6
I'm on a journey to find that special someone who makes my heart skip a beat. I believe in creating a safe and nurturing emotional space in a relationship, where we can be vulnerable, open, and truly ourselves. Let's build something amazing together and have a ton of fun along the way. Whether it's sharing our deepest feelings or just laughing at YouTube videos and memes, I'm all in!
One of my life goals is to have a family and kids. If that's not your cup of tea, no worries – it's not for everyone, and I respect that. 😊
Here's a quick snapshot of the things I'm passionate about:
🍳 Cooking: I love whipping up delicious dishes, and I'm always up for trying new recipes. Let's cook up a storm together!
🎮 Video Games: I'm a gaming enthusiast and can't resist a good gaming session. Whether you're a fellow gamer or just curious to learn, I'd love to share the joystick with you.
📺 TV/Anime/Movies: I'm a big fan of all things screen-related, from binge-watching TV series to exploring the captivating worlds of anime and film.
🏋️‍♂️ Going to the gym or Batting Cages: Staying active is important to me, and I used to play baseball. I'd love a workout buddy or someone to join me at the batting cages.
🐱🐶 Playing with my cat and dog (Licorice and Wade): My furry friends are a big part of my life, and I hope you'll adore them as much as I do!
🎺 Playing my trumpet (recently started again from high school): I've picked up my trumpet again, and I'm eager to share some tunes with you. Maybe you can be my number one fan!
🎶 Music: If music could be a love language, it would be my top choice! I'm a massive music lover, and I'm always excited to share playlists and discuss our favorite artists. My musical taste is pretty diverse, but I particularly enjoy Rock, Metal, EDM, Punk, and Musicals.
If you're looking for a partner who's genuine, caring, and ready for a serious and fun relationship, let's chat and see if we click. I'm excited to get to know you, share experiences, and build a future together. Feel free to reach out, and let's start this adventure! 💫

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Ok well if you opened the post then either you actually care about other traders or your just going down the rabbit hole and have nothing else better to read.. Either way, I appreciate it. Honestly I'm at my 2nd shift job and I just feel like telling my story so far. . Where did the motivation come from to even start trading? Actually just 1 person. I stumbled across Ross Camerons videos one day and I've been hooked ever since. I watch him every day and I've tried to model my trading style, after his. If you follow his strategies and rules from top to bottom, I feel like I'd have a pretty good shot at being profitable. I started with a small account on Robinhood(not to day trade) just to get a feel for what the market is even like. I bought companies that were on the top gainers list, probably at the top of the move and dumb times to get in but either way, small account and I didn't care if I lost what I had in there. Actually made about 200 bucks on CXAI and iBIO and then transferred that account to a Webull Cash account preparing for T1 settlement and to Day Trade every day starting on the 28th of May. I had about 5 weeks until that date so I bought shares with what I had, trying to build up any profit for the 28th I could, deposit what money I can afford to put up and Day Trade in a simulator while I waited for T1. In the simulator I set it to 500 bucks and as you well know it's a little easier than real money to make paper money but I was very proud of the $6,000 profit of paper money I made and confidence was pretty high to be honest coming into the 28th of May. Only problem I had was I didn't build up any real money so my balance in cash to use Dat trading was a whopping 600 bucks. OK no worries, I have a full time job and this is pretty much a hobby at this point so let's see if I can build this sucker up. Harder than I thought! Every rule and strategy that I've watched and wrote down, for whatever reason, goes out the window the second I sit down. What's the problem? 1- I'm not so sure about webull. I thought they had news coverage but it's way after people have started trading the news. I'm late to the party and then I chase. 2- Not setting a stop loss, profit taking, share size, max loss, daily goals and a real plan, dropped my account to 500 bucks again. How can I trade like the real deals trade with bigger accounts? Today I came up with a written plan to scale everything down to my size right now. You can't put 20% of your account on the first trade and then add another 20%. I scaled down as if I had 50,000. Daily Goal of $5,000 is really $50 for me. Max share size of 5,000 shares is really 50 for me. The stop loss and profit taking should stay the same throughout any size account. As I build profit I'll scale up(hopefully I get there). Fear of loss is a big issue and I'm battling that right now. Also I was really doubtful on some big moves that happened, but now that I've seen those big moves, I know what's possible. Just trying to stay positive and really do this. I've always gone 100% at everything in my life so I'm not giving up. Happy Green days ahead! Thanks for listening..

So i’m currently a 20 years old male and my fantasy with men’s started back when i was 14-15 i think? So long story short my whole life was a “lie” and i always were an asshole and tried to be a “cool” kid i think you know which stereotype i mean. But 6 months ago i just decided to be who i am and just do what i like in ways of style how i dress or painting my nails and stuff and also got into the rave/techno scene which is pretty much abou respect and tolerance. So and then i’ve seen guys in crop tops at raves and stuff and i started to feel the raise of my feminine energy coming up which i blocked my whole life. So i started to wearing crop tops and painting my nails and so on and on but only when im under like minded people. But now im at a point where i don’t know “what” i am, if im bi or gay i don’t know and i kinda feel guilty and bad for being gay or whatever and then i’m so ashamed that i talk to myself again that im straight … Does this feeling get away and do i get clearness in my head who i am?
(Ps: i’m living in a small german village which is extremely old school and i’m planning of moving to berlin for studying and starting a completely “new life” there and just being who i am from beginning. I hope this will put some things clear but what are your thoughts?)

Located in Utah.
I (23m) and my ex (21f) share joint legal custody with her getting the final say and she gets sole physical custody of our 16 month old son. She moved in with her family in Utah after we broke up. I signed a pretty shitty custody agreement while I was still living in my home state (2 states away), believing her threats that I would never meet our son and would never get custody. I just wanted my foot in the door and to be apart of his life in some way.
I moved over to Utah, slept in my car for a time to make it work, moved to the town over (1 hour drive away, 50-60 miles) thinking I would only get the bare minimum requirement for my visitation and for better job opportunity. Eventually, apparently while she was at school her family became overwhelmed with taking care of the baby and demanded my visitation days extend to 5 days a week. I had to quit one of my two jobs to make this work.
During the one day of the week she had off from school she chose to go out with friends or on dates instead of parenting. Even after she finished school, she's constantly going out partying not finding a job, doing as many other things as possible in my view to not to be with the baby. Even when she is home, she would lock herself in her room and ignore the babies cries for his mom. Her argument being is that my visitation time is my time alone to parent and her time off. In my eyes, this seems neglectful and would not be in the best interest of a 1 year old to have a inconsistent mother. Currently 4 visits a week for at least 5 hours usually longer. I also accommodate for her and her family with overnights prior to when i would awarded overnights according to our agreement (outlined by Utah Section 30-3-35.1). She doesn't have an income besides child support, whatever her family gives her, and some plasma donations, but it seems she can somehow afford top golf, cabin trips, a 1200 dollar pent house for her birthday? To me it seems, suspicious but again her time, her money, she can do what she wants but I feel as it is incredibly irresponsible. I try to be at all the pediatric or speech therapy appointments as well. I pay my child support on time and arrive to visitation timely to the best of my ability; some times I miss it by a little if I have a late shift the night before.
I am not sure if a court will put these into consideration. She also neglects the golden retriever we raised while we were together. No walks, obese, I believe to be depressed since she doesn't eat her food sometimes, leaves the dog poop in the backyard to pile up. I was thinking this could show an example of how irresponsible she is but I am very uneducated on all this. She also has not followed the No Disparagement Clause in our agreement and posted negatively about me on Tik Tok.
I do document everything I can and have some evidence of this behavior, which I'm not sure whether or not could be considered to be neglectful in court.
However, I am worried about the geographical considerations since I live an hour away from them. I still currently live with roommates, but I am looking to get my own place once my lease is up later this year.
She is shutting down any discussion of giving me any more custody despite my efforts. They have been making demands that I clean up the milk bottles she uses during her time. I do my best to respect her and her family's home and clean up after myself to the best of my ability. I'm not perfect, but I try. However, I think pressuring me to take on her responsibilities since she has more custody and refuses to even talk about awarding me some is completely unfair. It is not outlined anywhere in our agreement that I should be doing anything besides taking care of my child. Yesterday, they threatened that If I continue to be petty for only washing the bottles I use , I would no longer be able to use the baby's bottles for my visitation and other things like his toys or his clothes, etc, and that I would have to bring my own of these items. They even threatened to have my visitations no longer in their home and have it in my car or somewhere else. It's been 80-100 degree weather here recently. And considering the distance it would be a 4 hours of driving a day to make this work if I were to go back to my place.
Also, curious on what to do regarding toys. They don't want me taking the toys me and my family bought for him back to my place. I don't know if I would get reported for theft if I took them with me or if this is even an offense since those toys are his belongings and I am his father.
I know the court will align with whatever's the baby's best interest is, but I am not sure if I have a case or not. Trying to be objective as I can, my apologies if this is a little bias. My family believes this is a losing case and I would be wasting my money and time trying, but I would like some other opinions on this before I book with an attorney.
Thank you all so much for reading and any help you're able to provide.