How much money is an ounce of prometh codeine
Productivity
2008.01.25 05:02 Productivity
Tips and tricks for being more productive!
2015.12.28 18:27 azizsaya Beermoney India: Money Making Opportunities in India
/beermoneyindia is a community for people to discuss mostly online money-making opportunities in India. You could make decent money, but like its namesake, its just beermoney. It is updated as often as something both new and legitimate comes out, so it should always be your first port of call. If you have something to offer that is not on that site, then please post away! We want to hear about it as much as everyone else does.
2010.11.03 18:01 mmmyum Slowcooking: Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Slowcooking is a food-related subreddit for sharing ideas, recipes or pictures in which a "Crock-Pot®" style slow cooker was used. Slow cooking is an ideal method for cooking less expensive portions of meat to make them more tender and tasty than by other forms of cookery. Vegetarian and vegan dishes can also be made via slow cooking. - crockpot, slowcooker, crock, crock-pot, slow cooker
2024.06.05 17:30 Blubari Boomer at soul, angry that he has to speak to his kids
Sorry for bad english
So, this guy here is not a boomer by age (he's 40 something even tho he looks 60, never do drugs kids). He's a coworker of mine and sits in front of me. I can write parragraphs of how awful he is as a worker (does nothing around, is an actual liability, sings the entire 9-10 hours of workday, doesn't use earphones, refuses to talk to you but at you.....) but today I'll focus on him being divorced because :
1.- "My wife is a demanding bitch" (and considering how he is at the office....I'll assume she's normal and he's a lazy slob)
2.- He cheated on her, I straight up saw him making out with younger girls in a plaza near work, different girls
Ok so, last year he was divorced and apparently just recently the trial ended and was decree'd how much he has to pay for child care fee (is that the english name?). Now, this was during woman's day (such an ironic time) and he arrived at office late throwing his backpack in the floor (first checking if our boss (woman) was there) and yelled "ANYONE WHO EVER DARES BREATH IS AN ASSHOLE", me, being tired of him larping as a contestant of "The Voice" do my biggest air inhaling action powered up by a cold that was starting, he looked at me enraged and I looked at him with a smile. Then he talked with another coworker how he's pissed off because "these sluts do nothing but attack men all of them ALL OF THEM" (I was on headphones but the gossip was gold tier so I turned off youtube)
From what I gathered he:
1.- Had a BAD divorce (obviously)
2.- Today he had to pay child care fee (which was like 40% of his salary (ouch))
3.- His kids want nothing to do with him (which was going on from before the divorce but now is more)
He then started going on about his kids and how he "does everything for him, that he can burn the money on booze and cafe's with legs (chilean hooters) but uses on them" to which the coworker replied
"And have you told them that?"
And the face this guy put was cartoon worthy, like, the idea of TALKING to his kids was so alien to me, and he went on a tirade of "I'm the dad, and the dad is always right, I don't have to explain myself because I'M THE DAD" and then it all made sense to me.
He never talked to his kids during the divorce, doesn't even try to make contact now, but expects the kids to lick his boots.
He then went on a tirade of "all women are bitches, all are gold diggers" then referred to me telling me to "just go all out and become gay already" and "to never get married" and stuff, so I just ignored and went "well, I WILL marry but i'll be a husband" and kept working which angered me and he still went on his tirade.
Which he stopped ipso factus as soon as my boss and the team lawyer (also a woman) entered the office for a meeting.
So...that...don't do drugs kids
submitted by Blubari to BoomersBeingFools [link] [comments]
So, this guy here is not a boomer by age (he's 40 something even tho he looks 60, never do drugs kids). He's a coworker of mine and sits in front of me. I can write parragraphs of how awful he is as a worker (does nothing around, is an actual liability, sings the entire 9-10 hours of workday, doesn't use earphones, refuses to talk to you but at you.....) but today I'll focus on him being divorced because :
1.- "My wife is a demanding bitch" (and considering how he is at the office....I'll assume she's normal and he's a lazy slob)
2.- He cheated on her, I straight up saw him making out with younger girls in a plaza near work, different girls
Ok so, last year he was divorced and apparently just recently the trial ended and was decree'd how much he has to pay for child care fee (is that the english name?). Now, this was during woman's day (such an ironic time) and he arrived at office late throwing his backpack in the floor (first checking if our boss (woman) was there) and yelled "ANYONE WHO EVER DARES BREATH IS AN ASSHOLE", me, being tired of him larping as a contestant of "The Voice" do my biggest air inhaling action powered up by a cold that was starting, he looked at me enraged and I looked at him with a smile. Then he talked with another coworker how he's pissed off because "these sluts do nothing but attack men all of them ALL OF THEM" (I was on headphones but the gossip was gold tier so I turned off youtube)
From what I gathered he:
1.- Had a BAD divorce (obviously)
2.- Today he had to pay child care fee (which was like 40% of his salary (ouch))
3.- His kids want nothing to do with him (which was going on from before the divorce but now is more)
He then started going on about his kids and how he "does everything for him, that he can burn the money on booze and cafe's with legs (chilean hooters) but uses on them" to which the coworker replied
"And have you told them that?"
And the face this guy put was cartoon worthy, like, the idea of TALKING to his kids was so alien to me, and he went on a tirade of "I'm the dad, and the dad is always right, I don't have to explain myself because I'M THE DAD" and then it all made sense to me.
He never talked to his kids during the divorce, doesn't even try to make contact now, but expects the kids to lick his boots.
He then went on a tirade of "all women are bitches, all are gold diggers" then referred to me telling me to "just go all out and become gay already" and "to never get married" and stuff, so I just ignored and went "well, I WILL marry but i'll be a husband" and kept working which angered me and he still went on his tirade.
Which he stopped ipso factus as soon as my boss and the team lawyer (also a woman) entered the office for a meeting.
So...that...don't do drugs kids
2024.06.05 17:30 1ChiefMufasa Am I [28M] wrong for blocking my [28F] GF?
Hello,
It's been weighing heavy on me but I'll try my best to explain to you guy's! Sorry if it's too long in advance. I was in a three year relationship with this woman [Hannah] I shared a lot in common with, the only downside to the relationship was that it was long distance which at first, I was a bit hesitant, not because of lack of intimacy or seeing others, it was most likely due to trust issues I have been dealing with in the past, she understood and was willing to wait it out so that we can gain eachother's trust.
Fast forward to February 2021 we actually hit thing's off pretty well, we would talk on the phone and video chat with eachother from time to time. Everything was great if we weren't on Telegram we would use Parsec to play games with eachother. [She was really big into Street Fighter and Left 4 Dead] or watch movies together on Discord, it wasn't until November 2022 where thing's started to become real or so I thought it would be, I should've mentioned in the post that Hannah is Russian who happens to live with her parents due to losing her job,
so she streams from time to time, the reasoning for the Russian mention is that her parents ended up finding out about us, I had always insisted to her that if she wanted me to talk or introduce myself to them whether that was on Discord or Zoom I was open to it and she kept shutting it down or saying that "I want this to be a secret" and one night while I was on the phone with her, that barged into her room (Mind you they're very strict)
submitted by 1ChiefMufasa to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
It's been weighing heavy on me but I'll try my best to explain to you guy's! Sorry if it's too long in advance. I was in a three year relationship with this woman [Hannah] I shared a lot in common with, the only downside to the relationship was that it was long distance which at first, I was a bit hesitant, not because of lack of intimacy or seeing others, it was most likely due to trust issues I have been dealing with in the past, she understood and was willing to wait it out so that we can gain eachother's trust.
Fast forward to February 2021 we actually hit thing's off pretty well, we would talk on the phone and video chat with eachother from time to time. Everything was great if we weren't on Telegram we would use Parsec to play games with eachother. [She was really big into Street Fighter and Left 4 Dead] or watch movies together on Discord, it wasn't until November 2022 where thing's started to become real or so I thought it would be, I should've mentioned in the post that Hannah is Russian who happens to live with her parents due to losing her job,
so she streams from time to time, the reasoning for the Russian mention is that her parents ended up finding out about us, I had always insisted to her that if she wanted me to talk or introduce myself to them whether that was on Discord or Zoom I was open to it and she kept shutting it down or saying that "I want this to be a secret" and one night while I was on the phone with her, that barged into her room (Mind you they're very strict)
and asked who she was talking to, she finally told them and they started to go off about how she's not ready for a relationship and that they would rather her be with someone who is russian rather than a "Blacky N word" and that...hurt me. Even though I tried to brush it off the racial remarks just made me feel unwelcomed. She apologized and I forgave her, even though she had nothing to be sorry of it was her parents who needed to do the apologizing if anything. They told her three days after that to tell me that they were "sorry" and that they "overreacted" even though it was half ass, I countered with a offer to visit so they could get to know me better and they refuse because they didn't want quote on quote "Strangers" in their house. Hannah tells me that they were tryjng to put a "tracker" on her phone just incase I were to kidnap her, mind you, they let her three past previous boyfriends "visit" who all ended up trying to use her for "sex" and "money" but I also started to understand why she wanted it to be kept a secret because 89.8% of her family is "racist" towards Hispanics, Blacks, and Asians. I also understand that the world is a dangerous place full of evil people behind the internet, my friend's were upset but I also had to get them to understand it was their house, not mines. They're allowed to do and say whose to come in and who doesn't. November 2023 she got into a huge argument with her parents and our communication just went...silent. No calls, no texts, or video chats - nothing. I reached out with a text and was left on read, I tried calling on December 2nd, 2023 and got no answer which was unusually like her, she streams on Twitch part time so I just assumed that was the case or she's been busy, I get a message from my friend about a guy named [Tyler] who was telling Hannah in a stream that if she gives him the greenlight he'd move her in with him, now mind you, I was asleep during her stream since she usually streams late and instead of saying something she just goes "that's sweet of you and your mother" or something like that, here's where thing's get even weirder. She ends up putting Tyler in her bio and in the bio, the russian language translated to how much they love eachother and she's his "whole world" everytime she ever mentioned me she referred to me as "friend" and not "boyfriend" even though she's always telling her sisters about our relationship and how she was excited if I ever were to visit, I tried confronting her about it via text since at this point we were radio silent and instead of explaining why she has been gone for two months she says that I'm overreacting to Tyler and that she only meant it in a roleplay way as she sees him as a little brother [considering he's 19 going on 20] and then says that she's not sure on how or what to feel anymore about our relationship all because of lack of communication? Yet she's the one who ghosted me for two whole months without a word and when I tried checking on her I got left on read, and when I started to talk about thing's coming to an end between us cause I had assumed after four months of trying to fix thing's from the jump, she still left it on read. So as a result I blocked her and now she's telling everyone how I lied about ever loving her when in reality all I wanted to give her is...love. It wasn't Hannah, it was our communication problem that needed to be worked on. If she needed space or was too busy or going through thing's? I would've understood and try to give her support from a distance. I would love to hear your guy's thoughts or inputs,Thank you reading! - Chris
2024.06.05 17:30 Sunaliana Any advice on working in an environment opposed to my values? (Or is it even possible?) I just don't know who else to ask (TW: bigotry)
The company I work at is owned by a relative so while I did the full interview process I was probably hired through nepotism. Other relatives work here too, and it's a very small employee roster (less than 30 of us total I'd say). The environment here is causing me problems.
I'm grateful to have a job, don't get me wrong. I'm making more money than I was before and that's given me more security and the ability to buy more shiny things to add to my veritable dragon's hoard of things I like and my family thinks I don't need. It's longest I've ever managed to keep a full time job without anxiety/depression making it impossible and me becoming literally suicidal (happened at three previous jobs...) The work isn't interesting but isn't horrible. The issue is politics.
It is no exaggeration to say I am absolutely the most politically progressive/left in this office. Also I'm queer. No one here knows that. Probably get fired if they did which I guess would solve the problem in a way lol. If my dad didn't work from home he'd help me skew the average a little more left, but he hasn't been on site since Covid. And it's not a matter of "we can all have our own beliefs and just not talk about it" because I think I could manage that, no, everyone wants to talk about it. Loudly.
A relative and the person who's closest to a direct supervisor of mine like to complain about "woke" things and how the school system is indoctrinating children next to the relative's desk which is adjacent to mine. If it was for a minute or two, ok, I'd go get a coffee but their record is over 45 minutes and there are only so many things I can pretend need to be done away from my desk. I've fixed a "broken" stapler like 50 times by now. A sales meeting got derailed by a discussion of how safe needle programs are pointless and drug users destroy communities. One guy is constantly ranting about our country's carbon tax. The company donates to organizations I am very much against and I get to file the receipts and open their letters of thanks (I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to "accidentally" shred them every time.) Today my maybe supervisor (my role is a little ambiguous and the company isn't specific about things like that) came by my desk just to tell me she hopes I don't "do that transgender thing" and that she wouldn't respect a name/pronoun change if I did (I'm not trans but just...wow, no, I can't.) It's basically like Thanksgiving with your upsettingly conservative family except for 8 hours a day Monday-Friday, and if you snap and yell at them you lose your income, plus also on actual Thanksgiving because a lot of these people are my literal relatives.
I have mostly kept quiet. I get so anxious and I hate conflict. In the last meeting I tried saying it's important for people who are addicted to drugs to be able to get help safely and not risk being arrested to do so or they won't, but got shut down pretty quick which was upsetting because even saying that much was a big effort for the anxious mess I am. Started "retaliating" in my mind with my own recurring donations to pro-choice charities, but I can't afford anything close to what my relative is donating to pro-life ones. I work with one earbud in and just try and drown them out with podcasts but these things are really bothering me. I end up feeling angry and/or scared whenever these things occur. I just get upset and don't know what to do and feel guilty as well for working here.
I feel like if I really stood by my convictions I'd quit or say more, money and anxiety be damned, but I just freeze. Conversely, I feel I'm too sensitive and embodying the "liberal snowflake" my coworkers like to complain about. I don't know if I'm more sensitive to this because my previous job, while only part time and not enough to live on, aligned with my values. When I was seeing a therapist (she was great but moved to a new practice without sliding scale, I need to find a new one but keep forgetting) she advised things like telling them discussions near my desk are distracting from work, or talking to an HR person. We don't have an HR person, no one else here would find the things that are bothering me inappropriate, and I know as the newest and second youngest employee I don't really have any sway over anything here, most people have worked here 25+ years and aren't going to change how they do things just because I complain even if I worked up the nerve to.
Anyway I'm sorry, that was long and rambling. Everyone here is always so supportive it was honestly my first thought to ask for advice but still sorry if it's annoying lol. Capitalism sucks I wish I didn't have to have a job at all but since I do I wish the only one that somehow hasn't sent me into a complete anxiety/depression meltdown (yet I guess lol) wasn't full of loud bigots. I wish I could be a cat with no bills and just nap in a sunbeam.
submitted by Sunaliana to WitchesVsPatriarchy [link] [comments]
I'm grateful to have a job, don't get me wrong. I'm making more money than I was before and that's given me more security and the ability to buy more shiny things to add to my veritable dragon's hoard of things I like and my family thinks I don't need. It's longest I've ever managed to keep a full time job without anxiety/depression making it impossible and me becoming literally suicidal (happened at three previous jobs...) The work isn't interesting but isn't horrible. The issue is politics.
It is no exaggeration to say I am absolutely the most politically progressive/left in this office. Also I'm queer. No one here knows that. Probably get fired if they did which I guess would solve the problem in a way lol. If my dad didn't work from home he'd help me skew the average a little more left, but he hasn't been on site since Covid. And it's not a matter of "we can all have our own beliefs and just not talk about it" because I think I could manage that, no, everyone wants to talk about it. Loudly.
A relative and the person who's closest to a direct supervisor of mine like to complain about "woke" things and how the school system is indoctrinating children next to the relative's desk which is adjacent to mine. If it was for a minute or two, ok, I'd go get a coffee but their record is over 45 minutes and there are only so many things I can pretend need to be done away from my desk. I've fixed a "broken" stapler like 50 times by now. A sales meeting got derailed by a discussion of how safe needle programs are pointless and drug users destroy communities. One guy is constantly ranting about our country's carbon tax. The company donates to organizations I am very much against and I get to file the receipts and open their letters of thanks (I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to "accidentally" shred them every time.) Today my maybe supervisor (my role is a little ambiguous and the company isn't specific about things like that) came by my desk just to tell me she hopes I don't "do that transgender thing" and that she wouldn't respect a name/pronoun change if I did (I'm not trans but just...wow, no, I can't.) It's basically like Thanksgiving with your upsettingly conservative family except for 8 hours a day Monday-Friday, and if you snap and yell at them you lose your income, plus also on actual Thanksgiving because a lot of these people are my literal relatives.
I have mostly kept quiet. I get so anxious and I hate conflict. In the last meeting I tried saying it's important for people who are addicted to drugs to be able to get help safely and not risk being arrested to do so or they won't, but got shut down pretty quick which was upsetting because even saying that much was a big effort for the anxious mess I am. Started "retaliating" in my mind with my own recurring donations to pro-choice charities, but I can't afford anything close to what my relative is donating to pro-life ones. I work with one earbud in and just try and drown them out with podcasts but these things are really bothering me. I end up feeling angry and/or scared whenever these things occur. I just get upset and don't know what to do and feel guilty as well for working here.
I feel like if I really stood by my convictions I'd quit or say more, money and anxiety be damned, but I just freeze. Conversely, I feel I'm too sensitive and embodying the "liberal snowflake" my coworkers like to complain about. I don't know if I'm more sensitive to this because my previous job, while only part time and not enough to live on, aligned with my values. When I was seeing a therapist (she was great but moved to a new practice without sliding scale, I need to find a new one but keep forgetting) she advised things like telling them discussions near my desk are distracting from work, or talking to an HR person. We don't have an HR person, no one else here would find the things that are bothering me inappropriate, and I know as the newest and second youngest employee I don't really have any sway over anything here, most people have worked here 25+ years and aren't going to change how they do things just because I complain even if I worked up the nerve to.
Anyway I'm sorry, that was long and rambling. Everyone here is always so supportive it was honestly my first thought to ask for advice but still sorry if it's annoying lol. Capitalism sucks I wish I didn't have to have a job at all but since I do I wish the only one that somehow hasn't sent me into a complete anxiety/depression meltdown (yet I guess lol) wasn't full of loud bigots. I wish I could be a cat with no bills and just nap in a sunbeam.
2024.06.05 17:27 dollbaby19899 The ugly(behind buying reps sometimes)
 | Greetings humans lol I decided today that I am going to show you my ugly side of buying reps working with some bad vendors ,seizures , being gaslighted, and more . I will write out brief things about each slide . If you have any questions just let me know . I want to say yes I have a great collection now but it wasn't always this way . By the way the time lines for these reps I bought are from Jan this year until now , you would think I would've said just forget reps all together after a lot of money wasted, but I refused to give up until I found my perfect reps that I'm happy with. Today I am being as transparent as possible. submitted by dollbaby19899 to RepladiesDesigner [link] [comments]
|
2024.06.05 17:26 PatrickBrain Should I (NB-18) ask him (M-20) to pay me back? He said he was broke but mentioned afterwards that he has $300 in savings he's saving up to buy an expensive watch...
TLDR, I loaned him $30 dollars and didn't expect him to pay me back, until he mentioned he's saving $300 for a watch after mentioning he's got concrete plans to rob p*dos for money.
I gave him $30 because he was in a tight spot, he said he only had $3 to his name after rent and other expenses and couldn't afford gas to work. I knew this was suspicious because he has said in the past that he's saving up for university and has several thousands of dollars in the bank, tens of thousands actually, but I just assumed it was tied up in some way.
I let it slide and I gave him the money, he said he would pay me back by last Friday, and it's Wednesday now and nothing. Look, it's $30 and I don't care that much, my life won't end, but then yesterday he said he has $300 dollars in savings that he's using to buy an expensive watch, which he admitted was a luxury.
This was after he mentioned some rather concerning things about how he's going to (ILLEGALLY) catfish p*dophiles and rob them of their money, which I thought was either because he wanted to punish p*dos in some robin hood-esque way, or because he was tight on cash, so I offered him some more money so that he didn't have to put his life and freedom at risk. Then he said he "didn't need the money," and was "mostly doing it so that he can rob them," and that he was "saving up to buy a watch," for which he already had already saved "$300."
Is the situation really as bad as it looks in my mind? I really love him but I can't overlook this. We've been dating for 5 months.
submitted by PatrickBrain to relationships [link] [comments]
I gave him $30 because he was in a tight spot, he said he only had $3 to his name after rent and other expenses and couldn't afford gas to work. I knew this was suspicious because he has said in the past that he's saving up for university and has several thousands of dollars in the bank, tens of thousands actually, but I just assumed it was tied up in some way.
I let it slide and I gave him the money, he said he would pay me back by last Friday, and it's Wednesday now and nothing. Look, it's $30 and I don't care that much, my life won't end, but then yesterday he said he has $300 dollars in savings that he's using to buy an expensive watch, which he admitted was a luxury.
This was after he mentioned some rather concerning things about how he's going to (ILLEGALLY) catfish p*dophiles and rob them of their money, which I thought was either because he wanted to punish p*dos in some robin hood-esque way, or because he was tight on cash, so I offered him some more money so that he didn't have to put his life and freedom at risk. Then he said he "didn't need the money," and was "mostly doing it so that he can rob them," and that he was "saving up to buy a watch," for which he already had already saved "$300."
Is the situation really as bad as it looks in my mind? I really love him but I can't overlook this. We've been dating for 5 months.
2024.06.05 17:24 Ethereal_Fade Embark on a Villainous Voyage: GRANDMA's Starship Scoundrels Assemble!
Welcome to GRANDMA
"Generally Regarded As Not Doing Much Anyway"
🚀 Embark With GRANDMA: A Voyage of Leisure!
Do the stars call out to you for peace and tranquility? Do you yearn for the quietude of the cosmos? GRANDMA beckons to kindred spirits! Our collective is a tapestry of starry-eyed philosophers, serene merchants, and the occasional voyagers. We boast a culture of calm, navigating through the cosmos with ease, celebrating the stillness in a universe brimming with life.What GRANDMA Offers:
- A code of conduct that prioritizes fun and fellowship over strict rules.
- No rules regarding money spent or how often you play, GRANDMA understands that life comes first
- A relaxed and humorous community for mature players.
- Varied roles from leisurely patrols to the occasional bout of industry.
- A 'do as much or as little as you like' philosophy. No pressure, all pleasure.
- Events scheduled around the consensus of 'whenever we feel like it'.
- A constantly evolving community dedicated to ensuring you experience the game your way
Who GRANDMA Is Looking For:
- Mature Players looking for a low-key experience.
- Individuals who appreciate a good laugh and don't take things too seriously.
- Pilots who love to drift through space at their own pace, ship or no ship.
- Members who might enjoy sporadic participation in group activities.
Why Choose GRANDMA?
GRANDMA is more than an org; it’s a state of mind. We celebrate our lack of urgency and our capacity to enjoy the journey without a destination. We believe in a member-driven experience, where what you do is less important than the fun you have doing it. With us, you’ll find a place to kick back, relax, and appreciate the vastness of space on your own terms.🌌 Drift Into Our Orbit Today!
Chart a course for leisure with GRANDMA. Explore at your leisure, engage when you want, and become part of a story where the only rush is the one you decide to create.Contact Us:
Fact of the Day: The Drake Cutlass series, popular among pirates, is often compared to rugged and versatile pickup trucks used in off-road adventures.2024.06.05 17:20 XJackDaSnacX (18M) looking for guidance to turn my finances around
Hello everyone, I have been struggling with getting a grasp on my financial life for the past year or so, and I want to do everything I can to turn this around, so I will list all things relating to my finances as I can so I can hopefully get some sound advice and turn this around- thank you for any advice!
Right now my income is 18 dollars a hour at 40 hours a week, giving me roughly 1100 after taxes every two weeks. I also have roughly 600 in child support every month, but that is being cut down to 200 I believe(not confirmed) after me and my sister got emancipated by my dad.
Currently I live in an apartment with my sister, and monthly bills average around 1000_1100ish a month for all apartment expenses.
I do not have a car payment nor insurance for the time being, my car was bought used and my mom pays my insurance for me thankfully, which is honestly a huge help at 180 a month.
Sadly this car is also my biggest expense, as it has caused me to max out my credit card($3,000) dollars, as well as being a gas guzzler in which I have to spend 220ish a month on gas. And of course now it is leaking oil and electronics are going bad, so im expecting to have to spend another 1,000 in repairs soon.
I have close to no money currently, I only have probably 300~ dollars to my name.
Thankfully my credit hasnt tanked yet, it sits around 640 ish right now but is falling kinda quick, i dropped 18 points last month after making 100 dollar payment, just shy of double minimum.
Truthfully I feel very lost and almost crushed by my financials right now, I dont know where to turn or how to claw out of this.
I also have a crippling habit of turning to food when i begin to feel down, and just struggle with ordering out too much which I have begun to crack down on hard, as well as eating out for lunch at work as we dont have a breakroom or fridge.
Any advice is greatly appreciated, or if you have advice on opportunities to get financial assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
submitted by XJackDaSnacX to Money [link] [comments]
Right now my income is 18 dollars a hour at 40 hours a week, giving me roughly 1100 after taxes every two weeks. I also have roughly 600 in child support every month, but that is being cut down to 200 I believe(not confirmed) after me and my sister got emancipated by my dad.
Currently I live in an apartment with my sister, and monthly bills average around 1000_1100ish a month for all apartment expenses.
I do not have a car payment nor insurance for the time being, my car was bought used and my mom pays my insurance for me thankfully, which is honestly a huge help at 180 a month.
Sadly this car is also my biggest expense, as it has caused me to max out my credit card($3,000) dollars, as well as being a gas guzzler in which I have to spend 220ish a month on gas. And of course now it is leaking oil and electronics are going bad, so im expecting to have to spend another 1,000 in repairs soon.
I have close to no money currently, I only have probably 300~ dollars to my name.
Thankfully my credit hasnt tanked yet, it sits around 640 ish right now but is falling kinda quick, i dropped 18 points last month after making 100 dollar payment, just shy of double minimum.
Truthfully I feel very lost and almost crushed by my financials right now, I dont know where to turn or how to claw out of this.
I also have a crippling habit of turning to food when i begin to feel down, and just struggle with ordering out too much which I have begun to crack down on hard, as well as eating out for lunch at work as we dont have a breakroom or fridge.
Any advice is greatly appreciated, or if you have advice on opportunities to get financial assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.
2024.06.05 17:19 canadianbookworm123 aita for telling my boyfriend that his cousin won’t be attending our wedding.
i’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 and a half years, we really are perfect for eachother and have had a beautiful and healthy relationship. from the very start i noticed that he was a family guy, very close with his siblings and all of his cousins, specially with like 5 cousins that were close on his age, they all hung out together weekly as kids and were really really close. one of the 5 was significantly close to him, let’s call her rose. rose and him were in the same school when they were little, i think on the same grade, and they grew very very close, they really loved each other and were kind of best friends, eventually rose moved out of the city, but the love and affection was the same, and i learned very early on the relationship about their love for each other and how close they were.
naturally, i was excited to meet rose since she was that important to my boyfriend, first time she came to visit i didn’t get a chance to see her, but my boyfriend and her hung out and he sent me some videos and pictures saying hi and just being with her, i quickly noticed some weird behaviour, she was on top of him, they were laughing, giggling and tickling each other, i brushed it off since it was his COUSIN and everyone always commented on their close relationship, so i assumed it was “normal”. she visits again and i doesn’t see her again, they go out and have dinner. then i finally meet her another time she visited, but she didn’t pay much attention to me, everything was mostly him and honestly at this point i already didn’t like her, but there’s not much i can do and i have to be very careful what i say since again, it’s his cousin.
shit started going down from there, approximately 2 or 3 years ago she was visiting to celebrate her birthday on a vacation house and i was invited, naturally i put on my best face and attitude and went there clean slate, i only had met her once and it was a short encounter, this time i was spending 2 days with her and the rest of his family. i’m not going to go into great detail about what happened, i’m just going to say the important things, she constantly made derogatory comments about me, when i kissed him she would push me away, when i touched him she would grab my hand, take it off of him and put hers instead, and here’s the thing, i’m a real bitch when i want to, but i really tried to keep my cool and not cause a scene since his whole family was present. she constantly sat on him and everyone acted like it was completely normal, like am i crazy to think that’s entirely inappropriate? the best thing was she had a boyfriend and he was there, why is she all over mine? i was trying to keep my distance so i don’t lose my temper, then suddenly i look back and they are in the pool, she is ON TOP OF HIM and they are both laughing, i got out of the pool, got to my room and started crying histerically, i felt humiliated, laughed at and disrespected, it was horrible. i vented with one of his cousins and he said i was right and she disrespected me, my boyfriend never commented on the situation and tried to calm me while managing her. finally all that was over and i left that house really not liking her to not say another word, i honestly didn’t want to lay eyes on her ever again, i’m a very proud person and i had never in my life let anyone drag me the way she did those 2 days. after that i made clear and loud comments about me disliking her so it was not a secret to my boyfriend, she visited after that and only hung out with him and later on she got engaged.
fast forward to 2 months ago, one of his other cousins got married so that meant i had to see her again for the first time after what happened. i went prepared to be polite, but i have to admit that when i saw her, it was like a fire lit in me, you know when you feel your head getting hot and you just can’t think straight? just like that. my behaviour that night wasn’t good, i was constantly behind my boyfriend chasing him wherever he went, catching him with my eyes like an eagle, everytime he addressed her i showed my discontent, when we were having dinner i was kind of drunk, he commented something to her and i kind of smashed my glass on the table, and gave him bad looks everytime. i never addressed her, never looked at her directly but it was very obvious that i was not content with her presence or with him even addressing her. the next day, i sat with him and told him i was sorry for my behaviour and admitted it was over the top, i felt embarrassed and i expressed him that i feel like i’m in a competition with her and she knows that she has the power to “win” everytime just cause she’s family. i feel like she can do whatever she wants and he will never put a stop to her or defend me over her (which was not the case that night, she kept her distance) he told me that he had talked to her after the incident (which i didn’t know) and that she behaved the night of the wedding, i told him that she never said sorry, nor try to have a single conversation with me and he said “why would she have a conversation with you? you were being so passive aggressive and the tension was there, you both don’t like each other so why would you want to talk?” he said that we are both proud woman and just like i won’t approach her, she won’t approach me, but here’s the thing, i get that, but i don’t get what she wins over this whole situation, like whats the point?? why is she so possessive of him, he said that it has always been like that and i told him yeah but you’re adults now, that’s not normal and she really doesn’t win anything off of that. we left the conversation, he said he gets me and thats why he talked to her, but that she really didn’t do much at the wedding to justify my behavior, and i said that i got him (to an extent) and we agreed to manage the situation however we could moving forward.
so, you remember i told you that rose got engaged? well, she now has a date for the wedding, she messaged him and said hey the weddings going to be where i live, is this day, i’m telling you now so you can get organized and buy your flight blablabla. he’s not financially stable enough to just take a flight, that’s why we haven’t got married cause shit’s hard you know… so he doesn’t really know if he’s going to go, he was telling me all of that and i just saw the look on his face and i asked “what’s going on? am i not invited?” he said he doesn’t know yet, but he thinks that if i am and if he at the end can go, its best if i don’t go… when i tell you i saw RED, i just looked at him and he just said, you get it, right? like you understand why i’m telling you this... we then got called by my mom and started having lunch and i didn’t get to say anything, my brain was flushing i didn’t know what to do or say. after we had lunch i sat him, looked him dead in the eyes and told him, if i don’t go to that wedding, she’s not going to mine. he looked at me with opened eyes and i proceded, you can’t tell me that she can’t put one chair for his favourite cousin’s 6 year girlfriend, you know that if she doesn’t invite me she just simply doesn’t want to, and if you allow her to do that, you have to allow me to not invite her to mine. if at the end she invites me and i don’t go because YOU think it’s best for her day that i don’t be there, you are choosing her on top of me, so on our wedding, you’re going to put ME first and allow me to not invite her because its best for my day that she’s not there. he didn’t say a word and we left it at that.
i couldn’t stop thinking about it like how can he ask me that? how can he choose her? we literally don’t fight ever and despite how everything sounds here, he’s really the best boyfriend one could ask for, i have 6 years with this man and of course we’ve had ups and downs, but it really hasn’t been anything like this. i couldn’t shake it so days later i approached him again, i said you know what? i would love to be that bitch that just says that statement and leaves it that iconic but it literally is against my blood, i can’t belieave you would even suggest that blablabla. he said that he understands where i’m coming from but that he honestly didn’t think it that deep, he really just thought why would you spend money on a dress and on a flight and hotel, to attend a wedding of someone you literally can’t stand. i told him that it was simply cause i’m his girlfriend and i have the right to be there with him, and that i don’t care if she likes it or not, we are a unity, i told him that it was disappointing to hear him say that after we literally had a conversation after the wedding about everything. he said that he finds it petty that i just want to be there, and even though it is, i honestly don’t give a f. i made it very clear that i stand over what i said, if i don’t go to that wedding and he goes, i’m not inviting her to my wedding, i told him that i don’t care if i have to talk to her mom, her uncle or anyone about my decision. the conversation escalated since he said that i can’t choose fights with his family, cause it’s his family and that i wouldn’t win that. (see how it’s exactly the same i told him on our other conversation) i said that she was the one that started this “fight” and that how he dares say that she’s going to win despite all her disgusting behaviour just because she’s family. i told him that i will never forget how she treated me and how she dragged me and the way he didn’t say a word, and that he shouldn’t either. i told him that i’m supposed to be his family too, i started crying, he said to leave it at that and he really doesn’t want it to affect our relationship, he loves me and hates to see me like that, again, we left the conversation unfinished.
we are a month and a half away from the wedding, everything is perfect between us but this, it’s official that his parents are going now and they are going to fly him out, he said he’s waiting for her to confirm if i’m invited or not and he insists that he doesn’t have a choice in that, i say he has to put his foot down and tell her i’m going, just like he’s putting his foot down with me saying she’s going to ours. he says he can’t impose me on her, i say he can because he’s imposing her on me. he told me that he simply can’t say he won’t go if i’m not invited and i told him that if at the end she prefers him to not go over just inviting me, her priorities are very clear there. he says it’s not fair that i say she’s not going to our wedding because it’s his wedding too and i am very much adamant in my decision. he’s saying but what if she “can’t” invite you, and i told him to open his eyes and see the situation and admit that if she doesn’t invite me, it’s not cause she “can’t”.
am i the asshole in this situation?
submitted by canadianbookworm123 to AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC [link] [comments]
naturally, i was excited to meet rose since she was that important to my boyfriend, first time she came to visit i didn’t get a chance to see her, but my boyfriend and her hung out and he sent me some videos and pictures saying hi and just being with her, i quickly noticed some weird behaviour, she was on top of him, they were laughing, giggling and tickling each other, i brushed it off since it was his COUSIN and everyone always commented on their close relationship, so i assumed it was “normal”. she visits again and i doesn’t see her again, they go out and have dinner. then i finally meet her another time she visited, but she didn’t pay much attention to me, everything was mostly him and honestly at this point i already didn’t like her, but there’s not much i can do and i have to be very careful what i say since again, it’s his cousin.
shit started going down from there, approximately 2 or 3 years ago she was visiting to celebrate her birthday on a vacation house and i was invited, naturally i put on my best face and attitude and went there clean slate, i only had met her once and it was a short encounter, this time i was spending 2 days with her and the rest of his family. i’m not going to go into great detail about what happened, i’m just going to say the important things, she constantly made derogatory comments about me, when i kissed him she would push me away, when i touched him she would grab my hand, take it off of him and put hers instead, and here’s the thing, i’m a real bitch when i want to, but i really tried to keep my cool and not cause a scene since his whole family was present. she constantly sat on him and everyone acted like it was completely normal, like am i crazy to think that’s entirely inappropriate? the best thing was she had a boyfriend and he was there, why is she all over mine? i was trying to keep my distance so i don’t lose my temper, then suddenly i look back and they are in the pool, she is ON TOP OF HIM and they are both laughing, i got out of the pool, got to my room and started crying histerically, i felt humiliated, laughed at and disrespected, it was horrible. i vented with one of his cousins and he said i was right and she disrespected me, my boyfriend never commented on the situation and tried to calm me while managing her. finally all that was over and i left that house really not liking her to not say another word, i honestly didn’t want to lay eyes on her ever again, i’m a very proud person and i had never in my life let anyone drag me the way she did those 2 days. after that i made clear and loud comments about me disliking her so it was not a secret to my boyfriend, she visited after that and only hung out with him and later on she got engaged.
fast forward to 2 months ago, one of his other cousins got married so that meant i had to see her again for the first time after what happened. i went prepared to be polite, but i have to admit that when i saw her, it was like a fire lit in me, you know when you feel your head getting hot and you just can’t think straight? just like that. my behaviour that night wasn’t good, i was constantly behind my boyfriend chasing him wherever he went, catching him with my eyes like an eagle, everytime he addressed her i showed my discontent, when we were having dinner i was kind of drunk, he commented something to her and i kind of smashed my glass on the table, and gave him bad looks everytime. i never addressed her, never looked at her directly but it was very obvious that i was not content with her presence or with him even addressing her. the next day, i sat with him and told him i was sorry for my behaviour and admitted it was over the top, i felt embarrassed and i expressed him that i feel like i’m in a competition with her and she knows that she has the power to “win” everytime just cause she’s family. i feel like she can do whatever she wants and he will never put a stop to her or defend me over her (which was not the case that night, she kept her distance) he told me that he had talked to her after the incident (which i didn’t know) and that she behaved the night of the wedding, i told him that she never said sorry, nor try to have a single conversation with me and he said “why would she have a conversation with you? you were being so passive aggressive and the tension was there, you both don’t like each other so why would you want to talk?” he said that we are both proud woman and just like i won’t approach her, she won’t approach me, but here’s the thing, i get that, but i don’t get what she wins over this whole situation, like whats the point?? why is she so possessive of him, he said that it has always been like that and i told him yeah but you’re adults now, that’s not normal and she really doesn’t win anything off of that. we left the conversation, he said he gets me and thats why he talked to her, but that she really didn’t do much at the wedding to justify my behavior, and i said that i got him (to an extent) and we agreed to manage the situation however we could moving forward.
so, you remember i told you that rose got engaged? well, she now has a date for the wedding, she messaged him and said hey the weddings going to be where i live, is this day, i’m telling you now so you can get organized and buy your flight blablabla. he’s not financially stable enough to just take a flight, that’s why we haven’t got married cause shit’s hard you know… so he doesn’t really know if he’s going to go, he was telling me all of that and i just saw the look on his face and i asked “what’s going on? am i not invited?” he said he doesn’t know yet, but he thinks that if i am and if he at the end can go, its best if i don’t go… when i tell you i saw RED, i just looked at him and he just said, you get it, right? like you understand why i’m telling you this... we then got called by my mom and started having lunch and i didn’t get to say anything, my brain was flushing i didn’t know what to do or say. after we had lunch i sat him, looked him dead in the eyes and told him, if i don’t go to that wedding, she’s not going to mine. he looked at me with opened eyes and i proceded, you can’t tell me that she can’t put one chair for his favourite cousin’s 6 year girlfriend, you know that if she doesn’t invite me she just simply doesn’t want to, and if you allow her to do that, you have to allow me to not invite her to mine. if at the end she invites me and i don’t go because YOU think it’s best for her day that i don’t be there, you are choosing her on top of me, so on our wedding, you’re going to put ME first and allow me to not invite her because its best for my day that she’s not there. he didn’t say a word and we left it at that.
i couldn’t stop thinking about it like how can he ask me that? how can he choose her? we literally don’t fight ever and despite how everything sounds here, he’s really the best boyfriend one could ask for, i have 6 years with this man and of course we’ve had ups and downs, but it really hasn’t been anything like this. i couldn’t shake it so days later i approached him again, i said you know what? i would love to be that bitch that just says that statement and leaves it that iconic but it literally is against my blood, i can’t belieave you would even suggest that blablabla. he said that he understands where i’m coming from but that he honestly didn’t think it that deep, he really just thought why would you spend money on a dress and on a flight and hotel, to attend a wedding of someone you literally can’t stand. i told him that it was simply cause i’m his girlfriend and i have the right to be there with him, and that i don’t care if she likes it or not, we are a unity, i told him that it was disappointing to hear him say that after we literally had a conversation after the wedding about everything. he said that he finds it petty that i just want to be there, and even though it is, i honestly don’t give a f. i made it very clear that i stand over what i said, if i don’t go to that wedding and he goes, i’m not inviting her to my wedding, i told him that i don’t care if i have to talk to her mom, her uncle or anyone about my decision. the conversation escalated since he said that i can’t choose fights with his family, cause it’s his family and that i wouldn’t win that. (see how it’s exactly the same i told him on our other conversation) i said that she was the one that started this “fight” and that how he dares say that she’s going to win despite all her disgusting behaviour just because she’s family. i told him that i will never forget how she treated me and how she dragged me and the way he didn’t say a word, and that he shouldn’t either. i told him that i’m supposed to be his family too, i started crying, he said to leave it at that and he really doesn’t want it to affect our relationship, he loves me and hates to see me like that, again, we left the conversation unfinished.
we are a month and a half away from the wedding, everything is perfect between us but this, it’s official that his parents are going now and they are going to fly him out, he said he’s waiting for her to confirm if i’m invited or not and he insists that he doesn’t have a choice in that, i say he has to put his foot down and tell her i’m going, just like he’s putting his foot down with me saying she’s going to ours. he says he can’t impose me on her, i say he can because he’s imposing her on me. he told me that he simply can’t say he won’t go if i’m not invited and i told him that if at the end she prefers him to not go over just inviting me, her priorities are very clear there. he says it’s not fair that i say she’s not going to our wedding because it’s his wedding too and i am very much adamant in my decision. he’s saying but what if she “can’t” invite you, and i told him to open his eyes and see the situation and admit that if she doesn’t invite me, it’s not cause she “can’t”.
am i the asshole in this situation?
2024.06.05 17:18 lemonsaltwater Pen's bewilderment during the carriage scene and Colin's chaotic confession
We've talked about the carriage scene in depth, and yet, I keep having this nagging feeling that Penelope's interpretation of Colin's confession may not be coming across to her in the same way Colin intends it, or as the audience reads it on the surface impression. (And let's be honest -- we're all so excited that they're finally getting together that everyone gets a little lost in the excitement.)
Colin thinks he's running there to see if Debling proposed and if he has a shot. Penelope, meanwhile, is even more miserable and angry than she was before the first kiss.
Let's inventory Penelope's state of mind:
So then he starts his confession. Which many of us, myself included, interpret as quite romantic. But the more I think about it, the more I'm not so sure. I find myself going back to this given how bewildered Pen looks after the proposal and in the Bridgerton drawing room. So let's dissect this a bit.
Remember, we the audience know he has been struggling, but she does not.
And she has no reserves left. Her armor is down, her vulnerability is fully on display. So she answers the question that Debling asked her earlier, with the raw honesty of someone who has cried out every last drop of their emotional filter:
For anyone who has ever been friends-with-benefits-zoned by someone you liked, you know exactly what this feeling is. You can't have them all the way, but what you can have is good enough, and maybe their feelings will change some day, maybe. But even a fraction of them, of them only being sexually attracted, is good enough.
(To be clear: I think Pen is fully consenting during the intimacy. She has so many different emotions running through her body at this point and all she knows is that Colin is her comfort person and he's here and he wants her physically at least and she just enters that moment and escapes.)
PENELOPE: Oh! Colin! We are at your house.
But Pen interprets that quite differently:
And then he starts fixing her dress. Is he trying to cover up the evidence?
And thus we get her beautifully bewildered face.
The more I think about it, the more confusing of a "confession of love" it is. Imagine if you had a crush on someone forever, and they started their profession of feelings with a meandering discussion of how they no longer cared about being what society expected them to be. That would leave you feeling like them having feelings for you was against social expectations and something they were ashamed of. It's confusing and a bit weird, quite frankly.
And the reason I bring this up is because of the Part 2 trailer, which I'll now hide behind spoiler tags.
That bewildered face seems to stay with her into the Bridgerton drawing room. She seems to be in a complete daze at that point and really not sure what to think of all of this. At that point, I'm not sure she really believes this is all happening. And given that she seems to get the engagement announcement out that night, this has me wondering whether that's her trying to make sure this really is real and making it so he can't back out. He's saying he isn't ashamed of her, so that could be her making him put his money where his mouth is.
submitted by lemonsaltwater to PolinBridgerton [link] [comments]
Colin thinks he's running there to see if Debling proposed and if he has a shot. Penelope, meanwhile, is even more miserable and angry than she was before the first kiss.
Let's inventory Penelope's state of mind:
- Her overarching goal is to escape her family home so she doesn't end up as her mother's slave with one of her sisters as Lady Featherington. (This is what causes her to get the makeover and try to get a husband, not a pursuit of Colin.) Penelope decided she wasn't going to accept this fate and needs to escape no matter what it takes. Conversation with Genevieve during her makeover: "But what has brought about this sudden desire for change?" Pen: "I cannot live at home any longer. It’s been hard enough living under my mother’s rules. But my sisters… To live at the whim of either the most cruel or the most simple person I know…I must take a husband before that happens."
- Colin is the last person she wants to see because she thought he had her best interests at heart and knew she wanted to escape her mother, and then at the last minute, he ruins it, which destroys the trust he'd regained.
- Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised that in that angry and hopeless state in the carriage, she's decided she's going to take her LW money and just peace out. She's called out her mother for the first time and also has no marriage prospects.
- Even though Debling isn't perfect -- he doesn't love her, wouldn't ever to be able to love her, and would leave -- this is better than being stuck with her mother. She likely does not believe she is worthy of love, so a loveless marriage to Debling -- just like her parents had -- seems like the most reasonable possible option. She would have her own place to escape to, and being alone in Debling's house would be better than being in her family's house.
- Cracks in Penelope's Debling armor start to show when her mother says "Can you imagine the kind of influence that will give you? The kind of influence it will give… all of us?" Penelope realizes, oh shit, I might get out of here, and then she would still be all up in my life, and use his title for her own gain.
- Penelope is deeply insecure with low-self worth (thanks, Portia). Colin would never pursue her. This is a foregone conclusion to her.
- Penelope tells Colin explicitly in the market scene that she wants to marry so that she can escape her family and have her freedom.
- Colin publicly declared that he would never court her. He apologizes, but says he's different now, but also doesn't try to court her. His reaction to this to instead help her find someone else.
- Penelope does not feel like society respects her or sees her as a valid marriage prospect. She says in S3E1 that "I am the laughingstock of the ton, even when I change my entire wardrobe."
- Penelope does not have examples of what love looks like from her parents or her family. Her father was an alcoholic, a gambler, and largely absent. Her mother is emotionally abusive. Her sisters pile on their mother's abuse. She only knows what romantic love looks like from books.
COLIN: I need to know. Did he propose?Let's pause here for a moment. Pen's goal is to get a husband -- any husband, really -- so she can escape the control of her mother and sisters and be free. She has told Colin about this multiple times -- at Anthony's wedding and at the market scene. She's given up on love and just wants out. To her, Colin saying he cares about her sounds to her "like a friend" and "like a friend" does not give him any right to control her future. So this rings completely hollow to her, rather than coming across in the protective, loving way that Colin intends it. She is exasperated with him.
PENELOPE: It is odd. When I asked for your help in finding a husband, I did not realize that also meant you might try to deny me one as well.
COLIN: It is my business because I care about you. You cannot marry that man. He will leave you, and he is too particular. And he is… He is just not right for you, Pen.
PENELOPE: He did not propose. In fact, he rejected me because of you. The scene you caused led him to believe you have feelings for me. An idea so preposterous, I do not know what to do besides laugh. Now, will you please let us ride home in silence and leave me alone. COLIN: I cannot.
PENELOPE: Please!
COLIN: I cannot.
COLIN: Because… What if I did have feelings for you?And now our poor Pen's brain short-circuits. He's made it clear she's a friend and that he would never court her (even if he apologized, his "apology" was helping her find someone else, which doesn't exactly come across as flirtatious). He was awkward under the willow rather than telling her his feelings. He froze in the ballroom rather than asking her to dance. There's no reason for her to think he has feelings, or feelings he would want to make public. Most of the time he talks to her, it's out of public view -- at night or in secret. He says he isn't ashamed of her, but I don't think she fully believes him. (Remember: this woman has been made to feel less-than by her family her entire life, him saying he'd never court her was confirmation of what she held to be a fundamental truth about herself.)
PENELOPE: What?
So then he starts his confession. Which many of us, myself included, interpret as quite romantic. But the more I think about it, the more I'm not so sure. I find myself going back to this given how bewildered Pen looks after the proposal and in the Bridgerton drawing room. So let's dissect this a bit.
COLIN: I have spent so long trying to feel less, trying to be the kind of man society expects me to be.Pen's POV on this: Ok, so this year he's been trying to be what society expects, and is succeeding. Lots of admirers. Most sought-after bachelor. Hot body, saves the day with his heroism, etc etc. Not sure what this has to do with feelings for me but idk good for you Colin? I've already told you how much this drives me insane that you can just glide right in here and it's so easy for you. Fucking pretty Bridgertons, honestly.
COLIN: And for a moment, I thought I had succeeded.Pen's POV: You did, didn't you? Still not sure how this relates to me and you having feelings for me, but sure, go on.
Remember, we the audience know he has been struggling, but she does not.
COLIN: But these past few weeks have been full of confounding feelings. Feelings like a total inability to stop thinking about you.Pen's POV: So you thought you were succeeding at being who society wanted... and then you developed feelings for me. Huh? Thinking about me is socially deviant, because you're ashamed of me (even if you claim not to be) and you would never court me? So you have feelings for me that are somehow tied to you defying what society wants?
COLIN: ...About that kiss. Feelings like dreaming of you when I’m asleep. And in fact preferring sleep because that is where I might find you.Pen's POV: Oh... so you think about kissing me. That's what you mean by "feelings." And that's why these feelings are somehow in defiance of what society wants. They did all make fun of me when it became known I was trying to seek a husband so, got it. So you're attracted to me, but you feel guilty about it, and know it's against the social norm.
COLIN: A feeling that is like torture. But one which I cannot, will not, do not want to give up.Pen's POV: Where exactly is he going with this? He has feelings for me but knows that wouldn't be accepted by society? And he isn't going to give up those feelings? What options does that leave us with? Colin, I gave up on my feelings for you a long time ago, join the fucking club buddy.
PENELOPE: Please. Do not say things you do not mean.
COLIN: But I do mean it. It is everything I have wanted to say to you… for weeks.This point to me, in very "Colin and Pen will answer a question with an answer to a question they didn't answer earlier, in a conversation that may have been with someone else," almost seems to me like Pen answering Debling's question beforehand, which she didn't answer. It's more like she's reciting a definition rather than replying to what he's saying.
PENELOPE: But… Colin, we are friends.
LORD DEBLING: I am speaking of Mr. Bridgerton…and the feelings between the two of you.And Penelope, at this point, is so emotionally exhausted that she has nothing left. In the last 20 minutes, she's gone from thinking she would be proposed to by a lord who would leave her alone and being fine with that, to Colin bursting in for no reason saying it was a mistake and ruining it, to lord not proposing because of her unrequited love of Colin, to now Colin saying he has feelings for her but knows they wouldn't be accepted by society.
PENELOPE: I can assure you, Colin Bridgerton would never ever have feelings for me. It is laughable to think as much. We are friends, nothing more.
LORD DEBLING: Would you like it to be more?
PENELOPE: I do not…That is not even…That is not a possibility.
LORD DEBLING: I did not ask if it was a possibility. I asked if you’d like it to be.
PENELOPE:
COLIN: Yes, but we…Forgive me. Um…I do not know what I was thinking.Pen sees his face, and how much it falls. Perhaps he was going to say "But we kissed"? Or "but we could be more"? She has no idea. And she has no reserves left. She's felt betrayed and angry and cried and now is getting this kind of insulting compliment that Colin wants to kiss her again even though it's against "what society wants him to be" whatever that is.
And she has no reserves left. Her armor is down, her vulnerability is fully on display. So she answers the question that Debling asked her earlier, with the raw honesty of someone who has cried out every last drop of their emotional filter:
PENELOPE: But I’d very much like to be more than friends. So much more.And this comes across as a statement from her. It's just a raw, honest statement. She wants to be more than friends. She doesn't know what that is in a world where Colin dreams about kissing her yet doesn't want to be with her. But she has nothing left, and she leans into the feeling.
For anyone who has ever been friends-with-benefits-zoned by someone you liked, you know exactly what this feeling is. You can't have them all the way, but what you can have is good enough, and maybe their feelings will change some day, maybe. But even a fraction of them, of them only being sexually attracted, is good enough.
(To be clear: I think Pen is fully consenting during the intimacy. She has so many different emotions running through her body at this point and all she knows is that Colin is her comfort person and he's here and he wants her physically at least and she just enters that moment and escapes.)
> [insert sexy fun times here]
PENELOPE: Oh! Colin! We are at your house.
COLIN: What? Oh God. Could the carriage driver not keep on driving?At this point, Colin looks around somewhat wildly. In my opinion, his POV is that he is in a dream with Pen and is checking to make sure he's actually in a carriage and not sleeping.
But Pen interprets that quite differently:
PENELOPE: Do you think anyone saw us? I was not paying much attention to anything.Pen says this still thinking they need to hide being together. They kissed at midnight in a garden. Their meetings together were all in secret or out of view, and even somewhat on the down low if they were at a ball. She still thinks he's embarrassed of her.
And then he starts fixing her dress. Is he trying to cover up the evidence?
PENELOPE: What are you doing?He fixes himself, puts on a serious face, and then hops out of the carriage... without saying anything. Is he regretting what just happened? Is he just going to leave? Is he treating her like one of his courtesans—which she knows he visits from reading his journal? What are they now? What about what they just did? Is this going to be like when they kissed, and it was incredibly awkward after that? Does he want to do this again? Is she just going to be like one of his French girls that he sleeps with and then continues on with his life? Is she just going to be a spinster and his mistress? WTF is going on!
PENELOPE: Colin?He looks her up and down like she's a snack.
COLIN: Are you coming with me?She now knows what him looking her up and down means. And she thinks he's asking her up to continue what they've been doing... in secret. Just like the kiss, just like the other times they've seen each other this season.
PENELOPE: What? Your… Your family will see me.Colin, WTF are you thinking, seriously.
COLIN: For God’s sake, Penelope Featherington. Are you going to marry me or not?Pen: Holy fuck what?
And thus we get her beautifully bewildered face.
The more I think about it, the more confusing of a "confession of love" it is. Imagine if you had a crush on someone forever, and they started their profession of feelings with a meandering discussion of how they no longer cared about being what society expected them to be. That would leave you feeling like them having feelings for you was against social expectations and something they were ashamed of. It's confusing and a bit weird, quite frankly.
And the reason I bring this up is because of the Part 2 trailer, which I'll now hide behind spoiler tags.
That bewildered face seems to stay with her into the Bridgerton drawing room. She seems to be in a complete daze at that point and really not sure what to think of all of this. At that point, I'm not sure she really believes this is all happening. And given that she seems to get the engagement announcement out that night, this has me wondering whether that's her trying to make sure this really is real and making it so he can't back out. He's saying he isn't ashamed of her, so that could be her making him put his money where his mouth is.
2024.06.05 17:17 BooksandPagesndWine a “How to”guide based on experience
I’ve gotten a lot of questions recently based on my sp success posts so I just wanted to sum up what I did.
Quick disclaimer; I’m not a coach—although I don’t think we need coaches to do this (and I have my own thoughts on why I think asking people to pay money for this knowledge is bs)— regardless, this is just what I did, and I’m not saying this is the right way, but it’s a way that worked for me.
I spent a long time getting to this point (just over a year), so I’m not by any means saying this is easy peasy, or a quick fix solution, however it is a long term, permanent one.
My credentials:
What I did wrong:
🩷
submitted by BooksandPagesndWine to NevilleGoddard2 [link] [comments]
Quick disclaimer; I’m not a coach—although I don’t think we need coaches to do this (and I have my own thoughts on why I think asking people to pay money for this knowledge is bs)— regardless, this is just what I did, and I’m not saying this is the right way, but it’s a way that worked for me.
I spent a long time getting to this point (just over a year), so I’m not by any means saying this is easy peasy, or a quick fix solution, however it is a long term, permanent one.
My credentials:
- my dogs health doing a 180 after a scary diagnosis that they said he’d never recover from, (an autoimmune disease that almost destroyed his organs, high blood pressure, tumours). He’s completely fine now. Medication free. Happy and healthy! The vets are actually still perplexed and they ask to see him once a month to “triple check” because he passes every test with flying colours. The tumors disappeared completely, and his blood pressure is normal. Aside from the vet bills, you’d have no idea he was ill a month ago.
- £130,000 - this was a few years ago, but it came at a time when my parents were struggling financially and I asked for them to catch a break. This was before I knew the law, so I would ask the universe for stuff and it would happen. Anyway, a random relative in a whole different country died and we inherited some of her estate out of nowhere. We didn’t even know she existed before then. Everyone was stunned, tbh I still am.
- free flights - consciously manifested for my flights on holiday to be paid for, (so I’d have more spending cash on the actual holiday) I had already paid for them, but just recently my parents offered to pay me the price of them as a random gift. I’ve been affirming to be the favourite of the family, so two birds one stone, haha.
- my sp — (not an ex btw) we went from barely any contact a few months ago to talking everyday, calling a few times a week, and him calling me his dream girl, the exact woman he wants, that I’m beautiful, intelligent, perfect for him, etc, and him admitting being totally obsessed with me. This was a conscious manifestation. As of today, we’ve just booked our first trip together!
What I did wrong:
- I wavered too much with my sp. it delayed my manifestation completely, and I was too stuck in my yearning state and wasn’t confident or comfortable with my abilities. I kept looking for external validation with learning new techniques, asking for help, and trying to find things I was doing wrong by watching endless content. I didn’t trust myself to be able to do this. And I couldn’t let go of the 3D and forget the old story for MONTHS. Despite others saying you have to forget, and me saying I was; I was not honest with myself. I was doing the techniques, but I wasn’t actually trying.
- Mental diet. Once it finally clicked, I was really strict with my thoughts. Positive affirmations, self concept affirmations, sp specific affirmations. I meditated, journaled, I sorted myself out internally. I was TOUGH on myself in terms of letting myself fester in negative thoughts. I didn’t want that anymore, therefore, it was the old story. It was dead and gone. I was SO over being alone, miserable and bummed out.
- Affirmations ALL the time. Good ones. Not only for myself, but for my sp, my dog, too. Changed my world entirely. AFFIRMATIONS influence the sub conscious. Which influence your beliefs, which control your reality.
- I calmed down. Breathing exercises. Exercise. My physical body needed to release pent up energy that was making me anxious. So I listened to it. I walk for ages now, listen to music, do a little bit of yoga when I can be bothered.
- I trusted in my outcome. I know it’s hard, but just tell yourself it’s coming ALL the time, regardless of what it is. Regardless of worry, of fear, of anxiety, it’s happening. We worry about things that are fact and we know are going to happen all the time, this is no different. The difference before is that you KNEW it was going to happen. Now, you worry it won’t. Change that.
- Limited how much content I watched. Multiple coaches have different ways of doing things and all have their own limiting beliefs. It can make you doubtful and confused. Just stick to one.
- Visualising / day dreaming to music. I told myself these are future memories. Helps keep me in the state.
- Be excited for my life ahead. Changed my energy completely. Moths to a flame, all my affirmation confirmations are flocking.
- Do NOT waver. Your 3D is delayed. Don’t take it seriously when it’s not showing you want you want. Think of it like positive reinforcement, when the 3D shows you what you want, indulge. Be grateful. When it doesn’t, ignore.
- I was honest with myself. It helped me get to my goals faster.
🩷
2024.06.05 17:15 DustinAgain Replacing old unit - contractor tells me his company now owns the old one. Asking here for a sanity check
Hello from Florida - I am getting a new HVAC unit today, and just before the guys began work, I told them I wanted to keep the motors from the compressor and handler. They looked at me a little funny, and told me to check with my salesguy. I know there are environmental regulations that would prevent me from keeping/reselling a unit with freon / chemicals, but electric motors should not be a problem in my mind.
A few minutes later the tech comes to me with his boss on the line, saying they cant let me have the motors. I ask to speak to the boss, and immediately he is confrontational. I don't have the conversation word for word, but he is telling me these three main arguments for why I can't keep the motors:
In the end my sales rep got them to let me keep the motors. But I am curious if i was blatantly lied to with the three above claims? Especially the claim of I no longer own my old unit.
Thanks in advance!
submitted by DustinAgain to hvacadvice [link] [comments]
A few minutes later the tech comes to me with his boss on the line, saying they cant let me have the motors. I ask to speak to the boss, and immediately he is confrontational. I don't have the conversation word for word, but he is telling me these three main arguments for why I can't keep the motors:
- I no longer own the old unit, and I cannot keep them. (This is my main red flag, as he tried to say something with the permitting process make his company the owner)
- It's baked into the price. Sounds like it a 'trade in value', so I ask for a line item on the quote showing how much its worth. No answer, but threating to walk of the job, and 'I'm not having this conversation anymore'
- Its baked into the price because of recycling. So I then explain that if you have a recycling cost, then this should save you money, as there would be less material to recycle. Again no answer, but again threatened to walk off the job, and again saying 'I'm not having this conversation anymore'
In the end my sales rep got them to let me keep the motors. But I am curious if i was blatantly lied to with the three above claims? Especially the claim of I no longer own my old unit.
Thanks in advance!
2024.06.05 17:14 Defiant-Nebula3077 My partner is still in love with his ex after 4 years with me.
TLDR; My partner still loves his ex-wife. Uses kid as an excuse to see her. What should I do?
Me '35F' have been in a relationship with my partner '41M' for 4 years.
Everything is great except he still seems to have feelings or 'something' towards his ex-wife.
When met him, he was very honest and told me has a daughter, '15F' from a previous relationship, and a boy '5M' with his ex-wife. (Though they are not actually divorced, just separated.) He plays an active role in both the kids lives and spends as much time and money as he can spare with the kids (which honestly, is such a huge green flag to me). He did say that he and his wife are "good friends", while he and baby mamma 1 get along for the sake of their daughter.
He's totally in to me but also kept calling me his wife's name, let's call her Joanne. It seemed purely accidental, but did call me Joanne's name in the bedroom once. He talks about Joanne all the time, sends me texts and memes that were meant for her. They would always be texting each other while he was on a date with me. Things like that. He also got really upset one night and sobbed about how he was so gutted about the breakdown of his marriage.
I talked to him about it and how I felt he wasn't quite over Joanne and their seemed like a lack of separation and boundaries between them. He seemed genuinely surprised and apologized. Promised he'd reduce contact with her a bit and make sure it was more 'co-parent' than 'besties'. Swore over and over again, he loves me, only wants me, etc.
Problem is, we seem to be back to square one. They always seem to be finding any excuse to call or text one another and its often behind my back. He'll say he needs to go shopping or to pick something up and I'll see they've been calling. Or he'll wait til I've got in the shower before FaceTimeing them.
He says he does this to keep the interactions "out of my face, because he knows I don't like her". I have the passcode to his phone and can read the messages any time. I have never gone through his phone. I don't think there's anything sexual going on. They just need to validate each or something like that. Something about it is really bothering me, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Now when I try and talk to him about it, it erupts into a huge argument. He gets very defensive and will storm off home. (We live in different cities) I feel like he is gas lighting me as he always says 'its just about my son'. I know he has to have some form of friendly relationship with Joanne but we never have the same problems with his daughters Mother, who he sees just as much.
For context, Joanne left him for another man, whom she is still with. I don't know how the new man feels about Joanne always texting my partner about things that are not to do with their son. Joanne and my partner live 2 streets away from one another in the south of the country, whilst I live in the North. Moving is not an option for either of us. Joanne clearly hates my guts, but is very fake nice and my partner thinks she's a kind and sweet woman.
Sorry for the long post. Please just help me get my thoughts in order and where do I go from here?
submitted by Defiant-Nebula3077 to relationships [link] [comments]
Me '35F' have been in a relationship with my partner '41M' for 4 years.
Everything is great except he still seems to have feelings or 'something' towards his ex-wife.
When met him, he was very honest and told me has a daughter, '15F' from a previous relationship, and a boy '5M' with his ex-wife. (Though they are not actually divorced, just separated.) He plays an active role in both the kids lives and spends as much time and money as he can spare with the kids (which honestly, is such a huge green flag to me). He did say that he and his wife are "good friends", while he and baby mamma 1 get along for the sake of their daughter.
He's totally in to me but also kept calling me his wife's name, let's call her Joanne. It seemed purely accidental, but did call me Joanne's name in the bedroom once. He talks about Joanne all the time, sends me texts and memes that were meant for her. They would always be texting each other while he was on a date with me. Things like that. He also got really upset one night and sobbed about how he was so gutted about the breakdown of his marriage.
I talked to him about it and how I felt he wasn't quite over Joanne and their seemed like a lack of separation and boundaries between them. He seemed genuinely surprised and apologized. Promised he'd reduce contact with her a bit and make sure it was more 'co-parent' than 'besties'. Swore over and over again, he loves me, only wants me, etc.
Problem is, we seem to be back to square one. They always seem to be finding any excuse to call or text one another and its often behind my back. He'll say he needs to go shopping or to pick something up and I'll see they've been calling. Or he'll wait til I've got in the shower before FaceTimeing them.
He says he does this to keep the interactions "out of my face, because he knows I don't like her". I have the passcode to his phone and can read the messages any time. I have never gone through his phone. I don't think there's anything sexual going on. They just need to validate each or something like that. Something about it is really bothering me, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Now when I try and talk to him about it, it erupts into a huge argument. He gets very defensive and will storm off home. (We live in different cities) I feel like he is gas lighting me as he always says 'its just about my son'. I know he has to have some form of friendly relationship with Joanne but we never have the same problems with his daughters Mother, who he sees just as much.
For context, Joanne left him for another man, whom she is still with. I don't know how the new man feels about Joanne always texting my partner about things that are not to do with their son. Joanne and my partner live 2 streets away from one another in the south of the country, whilst I live in the North. Moving is not an option for either of us. Joanne clearly hates my guts, but is very fake nice and my partner thinks she's a kind and sweet woman.
Sorry for the long post. Please just help me get my thoughts in order and where do I go from here?
2024.06.05 17:13 charlotte1255 Livvy's pattern of sexualization of gymnastics and glorifying abusers
 | I wanted to highlight the blatant pattern of inappropriate behavior and self-generated content created by Livvy, from sexualizing gymnastics to inappropriate lyrics, inappropriate engagement with minor boys as an adult and adult men as a minor. As someone with a younger relative who really looked up to Livvy bc of her sport, I’m seeing how her social media career is negatively impacting young women despite Livvy’s claims of caring for her young female fans. Her behavior is not only desperate, but toxic to women in sports at all levels, college students, specifically women, and young boys who are under the guise her edited photos are what a woman should look like, when even she does not look like her edited photos. She cares about likes, attention from little boys and men, and money, as proven below. submitted by charlotte1255 to livvydunnesnark [link] [comments] (Special thanks to the people in various group chats who shared their favorite snark screen shots, made this post a lot easier lol. And in advance - for any of her simps who come to defend her and attack me, I am smaller than Livvy and objectively attractive, I was rooting for her in the beginning but she has taken a dark turn that is becoming problematic.) Gymnastics It’s blatantly obvious she is sexualizing gymnastics, no debate. Her leotard has gotten smaller as she has gotten more famous (see Haleight Bryant’s May 7th IG post, her leotard is blatantly too small, the leo is basically inverted compared to the rest of her body). All of her pictures are from the rear view, yet she calls herself a role model.1 Then her simps will come in and say “Simone could never” and she never corrects them. Simone is the most decorated gymnast in history, yet when simps comment Livvy is “the best in the sport” “10/10!” “are you going to paris?” – she just likes the comment and gives them a cookie!2 Not to mention the wildly inappropriate engagement with “Baby Gronk”.... Livvy posted a video of herself doing gymnastics to the song Carnival - see the lyrics, how are these lyrics over a gymnastics video proving anything other than her sexualizing the sport. These lyrics + too small of a leo + butt pictures / videos + liking comments from minors and married men claiming she is the best in the sport just bc she posts her butt = sexualizing the sport of gymnastics. But sure, keep making the captions “just doing what I love <3” Lol. The IG picture of her crawling in a black leotard with full hair & makeup and a ring light is not only proof she is sexualizing the leotard, but really proving Tara VanDerveer’s point – this is a step back not only for women’s sports, but women as a whole. You cannot post this type of picture, edit all content and still pretend you’re a role model for a community that has been ravaged by abuse. She became well known on social media for “beachnastics” and posting pictures of herself in a bikini with her butt crack out as a minor. What an authentic brand she has built - consistency is key!!! But she also noted circa 2022 on a tik tok that she shouldn’t be…..3 So she has to sit out for LSU after receiving a full ride but is able to use her gymnastics skills for “content” in a bikini - not exactly a team player or role model for the sport in my opinion. How is that not a violation of the contract she signed for the full ride scholarship? Questionable Content Speaking of role model, she consistently mouths inappropriate lyrics while playing innocent. Dave Portnoy calls her out at 1:16:35 - 1:17:40 regarding the lip syncing of inappropriate lyrics while calling herself a role model. You know it’s bad when Dave f**king Portnoy is calling you out. I already mentioned the Carnival video, but she recently posted a few videos with the lyrics to “F**k with Me” where the video begins “you can catch me in vegas” - again, we get it, you ride dick. Congrats on the sex!! Then there was a recent, since deleted video that Jules posted from Mexico: one referencing a “topless beach” and another was talking through vulgar scenarios if she had 1 margarita, and they became more provocative by the 4th marg (hint: it insinuated she would let someone put it in her rear end, she must really be desperate for Passes followers!!!) She poses in thong bikinis her whole life and then again for SI Swim, then complains / weird brags about dads asking for her autograph? As if she hasn’t been liking these comments since she was 16 years old on a public platform. 4 This proves that a significant portion of her followers as a minor were for nefarious reasons, entirely unrelated to the actual sport of gymnastics and had everything to do with the poses she was making - from behind, even at age 15/16. This how she garnered her brand as a minor - “just doing gymnastics” but get old mens attention on the internet, and these old men are not commenting bc of her gymnastics. They are playing the digital slot machines of engaging with a young girl online, and the Dunne family is entertaining it for money and has been for years. FWIW, If I saw these comments on my minor daughter's post (or niece, or anyone I cared about) I would 1) encourage to stop posting certain ways, because we are responsible for our own image and likeness. 2) I would encourage my daughter to delete the comments and block these people. 3) I would suggest/encourage no comments on all posts, even if it drove down engagement. You can't pretend these comments aren't welcome when you have been "liking" them since you were a minor. and 4) I would not encourage continued editing and posting non stop, I would encourage therapy and a healthy body image outside of social media. As for the rest of the inappropriate content, let’s take a look at Passes. She had a post that says “sneak peak into the locker room!” as if that is for the sake of the sport of gymnastics? Then there was Livvy’s recent “Accidental” nip slip / DM article but as one commenter said “there are no accidents.” She kept commenting that she was shadow banned when in reality she just has a bf / has gotten older for her p3do followers, so now she "accidentally" posted a nip slip in violation of IG rules. Meta should prevent her from being able to make sponsored content after this but they won't, they applaud this kind of behavior. She has self generated “bath water” content, perpetuating this creepy joke. She even made a recent tik tok about “getting in the tub” where she just repeatedly talks about taking a bath...we get it, we all bathe sweetie. She consistently dresses as super sexualized halloween costume character (Game of Thrones, Wolf of Wallstreet - using “Mrs. Belfort” in the caption. Dr. Nadine (ie the inspo for Margot Robbie’s “Naomi”) has been quite outspoken about the abuse she endured (more on that later) and she thinks it’s a cute halloween costume? Then there is the video about white swan vs black swan - there’s a lesbian scene in that movie…do we see the pattern here? I already mentioned the Carnival video, but she recently posted a few videos with the lyrics to “F**k with Me” where the video begins “you can catch me in vegas” - again, we get it, you ride dick. Congrats on the sex!! Then there was a recent, since deleted video that Jules posted from Mexico: one referencing a “topless beach” and another was talking through vulgar scenarios if she had 1 margarita, and they became more provocative by the 4th marg (hint: it insinuated she would let someone put it in her rear end, she must really be desperate for Passes followers!!!) This is not sex-positive, this is selling sex to generate more Passes followers while still pretending she is above OF or other forms of SW. Quote on brand deals “be picky, there’s no problem in saying no to brands if it doesn’t feel right to you.” Yet she partners with Cactus AI (an AI tool for “homework help”), Passes (exclusive content for the male gaze paired with exclusive gymnastics content?), Planet Fitness ad so soon after their scandals of hiring pedos and allowing abuse to take place on site. See the pattern here? $ > morals, every.single.time. Finally, as mentioned before, she seems to have no problem with highlighting and praising abusers. She follows the following men who have been called out for abuse of various degrees: James Charles, Jay Alvarrez, David Dobrik, and Jordan Belfort. Yes she follows Jordan Belfort, aka Wolf of Wallstreet on Tiktok He is 40 years older than her, and a convicted felon who allegedly abused his wife, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, (I say allegedly for legal reasons but I personally 100% believe she was abused). Dr. Nadine is now a psychologist who educates others on abuse for a living. This is a role model and a champion of other women. I am sure this is bc he most likely follows her, but you can’t see who he follows….wonder why. I fully expect her to block who she follows shortly after this post but screen shots don’t lie. Her brand is sexualization of herself, and because she is so consistent about this, that is how she is viewed. She has said “As a woman, you’re not responsible for how a man looks at you and objectifies you. That’s not a woman’s responsibility.” But whose responsibility is it when a woman objectives herself, Livvy? Whose the one crawling on the ground in a leotard, grabbing her chest for pictures, wearing a small leotard to turn her team uniform into a thong, constantly posting pictures of her butt while claiming she is just “doing gymnastics.” She also was allegedly rude to Markell, another tik tokker, and lied about the interaction, played victim and cried about it on live. Mess in the Press The NY times article was not a hit piece, this was relevant journalism on current events in NCAA sports, and Livvy was too much in her own ego and up her own a$$ to see the interview for what it was - digging around for dirt to write a salacious article that, like Livvy’s content, would sell. And they were on the nose, because the aforementioned pictures of her crawling on the ground in a leotard prove she is using the leotard for provocative content. Journalism is so important, now more than ever, especially in the US during an election year. Some influencer floozy telling men 18+ that NYT is bad because they wrote unfavorable things is so beyond toxic. This also proves why the male followers like her - she creates pseudo porn as escapism from real issues, and by engaging with the comments, it creates a gambling effect that men become addicted to since she is chronically online and engaging with these people. 2023 ON3 conference where Kat Dunne said “You have to show more” now i am sure she meant this to say show/share more content, but seeing as she is following in Kris Jenner’s footsteps, the Dunne Family is trying so hard to be the next Kardashians it’s embarrassing. She is trying to pretend she is the “first woman to do a thing” but she is just an influencer who is good at a sport. She is not the best gymnast and is not the first woman to make money off of her image, just the first to do the combination. Sports Illustrated Swim is a gross brand that is used for men’s pleasure, not female empowerment. The men who buy it were consistently outraged by the “rebrand” and That said, MJ Day’s caption 5 is factually inaccurate; NY Times was not wrong, and Livvy is not an entrepreneur. The definition of entrepreneur is “a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so.” While some influencers go on to create brands, I would not say that Livvy as a college athlete / influencer is an entrepreneur. Sorry MJ Day, but you are wrong. She is an “influencer” with a significant male follower base, further proving Tara VanDerveer to be spot on. Furthermore, seeing as they recently showed the two minor Earle sisters at the SI runway show, SI Swim clearly have zero concept of what is and is not appropriate. Livvy mentioned in the Forbes interview she wants to have a product but she couldn’t really name a product, said fashion or gymnastics or an app. Team Livvy is probably scrambling bc that was a year ago and now she does exclusive content while bashing OF and other women who do exclusive content. Also, her outfit was not a legitimate business attire, it was for the male gaze. No woman in real business wears a crop top and mini skirt. Again, further proving sex sells. According to her Elle article, Livvy and her mom clarified she was not abused by Nassar. This is great and I am truly and sincerely happy for anyone who did not endure this abuse, no human deserves it. Yet, by her recent tik tok to TSwift’s “Asylum” it just seems like she is using severe abuse to get more DailyMail press and promote OF adjacent content, which also includes a “gymnastics!” feature. No doubt the Karolyi ranch was abusive for other reasons, including Bela and Marta Karolyi, but to post this after her Passes announcement is just an advertisement for her Passes. It's also wrong to combine her Male Gaze monetization with the monetization of her gymnastics skills and knowledge. If she sincerely cared about the sport, she would have become a coach and done wholesome brand deals in her spare time. I personally am boycotting all brands that partner with her, I do not understand how brands think this will help their businesses, especially after the nip slip. Livvy has time to reply to baby gronk, reply “what the sigma” to creepy comments and like comments about simps false opinions on her being the “GOAT”, but never stands up for her sister or corrects simps about the inaccurate facts about Simone. She says she wasn’t abused, yet she repeatedly abuses others by way of obsession over her own image (there’s a word for that) and inappropriate engagement for more likes, followers and money. This is not a role model by any means, or a good teammate. Quite frankly it is a toxic representation of women in sports and women in influencing. I sincerely hope she gets the mental health help she clearly needs, as these are highly narcissistic and histrionic tendencies. IMO, her days of pretending she is innocently “just doing what she loves” are Dunne, because there’s no “I” in team but there sure as hell is one in Livvy….. 1 - feedback re sexualization of gymnastics 2 - \"liking\" and engaging with minor boys for clout and money 3 - doing \"beachnastics\" in a bikini when she was injured despite having a full ride to do gymnastics in the gym 4 - \"liking\" comments from creepy old men when she was a minor, posing from behind in a leotard 5 - MJ Day's inaccurate defense of Livvy, falsely calling her an entrepreneur to justify putting her in a thong for her magazine |
2024.06.05 17:12 Flimsy-Desk5686 Brookside Properties.
 | Good morning, I just wanted to say that this company of Brookside Properties is such a terrible apartment management. I have been living at The Views Crescent off on Brownboro Road for 5 years and I have had almost 8 landlord and I can't tell you how landlord assistance. I have learned from the hard way not to blame the landlord for not getting the place fixed because of the company won't pay anything to get fixed and most of the all they owe money for plumbers, painters and etc. Bottom line is if you are looking for an apartment please be on the lookout for their logo. Much appreciated of reading and just wanted to be sure you all beware of not dealing with drama and money. submitted by Flimsy-Desk5686 to Louisville [link] [comments] |
2024.06.05 17:11 lookingforsolution Sneak peek at some of this week's deals - Sales for June 6th to June 12th, 2024
It's your friendly neighborhood deal hunter back at it again with your weekly grocery deals.
This week's got some seriously good finds to keep your wallet happy and your fridge stocked. Here's what caught my eye:
Farm Boy
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Sobeys
submitted by lookingforsolution to oakville [link] [comments]
This week's got some seriously good finds to keep your wallet happy and your fridge stocked. Here's what caught my eye:
Farm Boy
- Chicken thighs (boneless, skinless) - $5.99/lb: Chicken thighs are a bit more expensive this week, but they're still a versatile cut of chicken that's great for marinating or grilling.
- Sweet peppers (green and sweet) - $1.95/lb: This is a great deal on sweet peppers! They're usually around $2 per pound, so stock up on these colorful veggies.
- Leafy lettuce (green or red) - $1.18/head: This is an awesome deal on leafy lettuce! The reviewer isn't sure how big the heads are, but even if they're on the small side, it's still a good value. Enjoy some fresh salads this week!
- Radishes - $0.99/bunch: This is a nice price for radishes! Just like with green onions, $1 bunches are always a good deal.
- Mini cucumbers - $1.97 6-pack: This is a good price for mini cucumbers!
- Hothouse Strawberries - $2.99 340g shell: This isn't the best deal on strawberries. The usual sale price is $3 for a 454g container. This is basically just an average price.
- Deli - Polish-style ham (Brandt) - $1.99 per 100g: This is an okay price for deli ham, but the reviewer recommends buying the whole package if you can. You'll save a lot of money that way.
- Atlantic Salmon fillet - $9.77/lb: Great to see another option for delicious pink fish under $10 a pound!
- Sweet peppers (green and sweet) - $1.88/lb: This is the third store with peppers under $2 a pound this week! Stock up while you can!
- Asparagus - $1.88/lb: This is an awesome deal on asparagus!
- Potatoes (Russets) - $1.68 5lb bag: This is a FANTASTIC deal on a 5lb bag of Russet potatoes!
- Sweet potato - $1.28 per lb: This is a good deal on sweet potatoes, considering they're usually closer to $1.68 per pound.
- Dole salad kit - $1.68 (unsure): This looks like a good deal on a salad kit, but it's hard to tell the weight. It's probably around 300g.
- Grape tomatoes - $3.98 1.5lb shell (Coupon Deal): This is a good deal on grape tomatoes with a coupon, but they're almost $7 without it!
- Avocado - $4.88 5-6 pack: This is about the average price for avocados, but not a great deal.
- Artichoke - $3.00 for 2 units: This is a great deal on artichokes! Perfect for trying a new recipe.
- Lemons - $1.88 2lb bag (6-7 units): This is a VERY NICE deal on lemons! They're super cheap at around 30 cents each.
- Strawberries - $1.88 454g/shell: This is an AWESOME deal on strawberries! I'd definitely grab some at this price.
- Mango (Red, Ataulfo) - $0.98/each: This is a nice price for Ataulfo mangoes!
- Watermelon (11lb avg) - $4.98/each: This is a VERY NICE deal on watermelon! Perfect for making a watermelon ginger beer!
- Cherries - $4.98/lb: This isn't the amazing deal we had last week, the price has doubled!
- Brick cheese (Selection) - $3.98 400g bar: This is a NICE price on brick cheese! Back down to the $4 range after being stuck in $5 territory!
- Friulano (Saputo) - $10.99 500g wheel: This is a wonderful, but more expensive, cheese. It's similar to mozzarella but with a bit more flavor and complexity, and it melts well.
- Rice (Lal Qilla, India Gate) - $10.98 10lb bag: This is a fair deal for rice. The price can fluctuate, but this is definitely a reasonable price.
- Earth's Own plant bev - $2.88 1.74-1.89L jug: This is a WOW deal! These plant-based beverages are usually much more expensive, at over $4. (By the way you can make you own which is away cheaper)
- Ground beef (medium) - $10.00 1kg/pack: This is an okay price for ground beef, but not a steal. It comes out to about $5 per pound, which is pretty average. Keep an eye out for deals on bulk ground beef priced per pound instead of per kilogram to potentially save more.
- Oxtail - $13.29/lb: This is a unique find! Oxtail isn't on sale often. The price seems to be in line with what others are charging.
- Cucumber - $1.29/each: This is a good price for a cucumber, not the best, but definitely fair.
- Mini cucumbers - $1.49 6-pack: This is a very nice deal! Mini cucumbers are usually at least $2 for a pack.
- Vidalia onions - $3.99 3lb/bag: This is a good price for a 3-pound bag of Vidalia onions.
- Cauliflower - $3.99/head: This is just a heads-up that cauliflower is priced around average at $4. I wouldn't recommend paying more than this.
- Potatoes (Yellow) - $2.49 5lb/bag: This is an awesome deal on yellow potatoes! Stock up while they're on sale.
- Romaine, Leaf Lettuce (Red/Green) - $1.99/head: This isn't the best deal. There was a better deal at Farm Boy for $1.18 per head.
- Cherries - $1.88/lb: This is an incredible deal on cherries! Don't miss out, grab some while they last!
- Pears (Bartlett) - $1.88/lb: This is a fair sale price for Bartlett pears.
- Jasmin rice (Kim Phat) - $9.88 8kg/bag: This is a fantastic deal on a giant bag of jasmine rice!
- Chicken Breast (bone-in, skinless) - $2.99/lb: This is a great deal on chicken breast!
- Cucumber - $1.29/each: This is a fair price for cucumber, but there will probably be even better deals coming up soon. Just be careful not to buy too many before the price drops.
- Sweet peppers (Imperfect) - $3.88 2.5lb/bag: This is an awesome deal on sweet peppers! At $1.60 per pound, even though they might not be the prettiest, they're a great buy.
- Potatoes (Imperfect) - $5.00 15lb/bag: This is a good price on a large bag of potatoes. While Basics has a 5lb bag for a similar price per pound, this is a better deal if you're looking for a bigger quantity.
- Kiwi - $0.55/each: This is a good price on kiwi! At this price, it works out to about $3 per pound.
- Cherries - $1.99/lb: This is another great deal on cherries!
- Pineapple, Cantaloupe - $2.99/each: This is a fair price for pineapple and cantaloupe.
- Mango (Red, Ataulfo) - $0.99/each: This is a great price on Ataulfo mangoes!
- Walnuts - $1.99/lb: This is a decent price on walnuts, but keep in mind that the quality can vary. You might be taking a bit of a risk by buying the cheaper walnuts.
- Brick cheese (Armstrong) - $4.44 400g/bar: This is a great deal on brick cheese!
- Paneer (Brar's) - $4.44 375g/brick: This is an awesome deal on paneer cheese!
- Bocconcini (Saputo) - $3.99 200g/tub: This is a good price for bocconcini cheese. Similar products can be much more expensive.
- Ricotta (Saputo) - $3.99 400g/tub: This is another great price on ricotta cheese!
- Corned Beef - $2.88 340g/can: This is an awesome deal on canned corned beef!
- Durum flour (Sher) - $13.99 9kg/bag: This is a good price on a big bag of durum flour. The price for this product can fluctuate, but this is a good deal compared to what it has been in the past.
- Whole chicken - $1.88/lb: This is a fantastic deal on whole chicken! Be sure to grab one while they're at this price.
- Tilapia fillet (fresh) - $9.99/lb: Tilapia isn't quite as cheap as it used to be. We used to see it for around $6-7 a pound, but it's closer to the price of salmon these days. Not sure what's going on there...
- Sweet peppers (Imperfect) - $3.88 2.5lb/bag: This is an awesome deal on sweet peppers, even if they're not the prettiest! At $1.60 per pound, you can't go wrong.
- Cucumber - $0.99/each: It's nice to see cucumbers for just $1 each!
- Potatoes (Yellow, Russet) - $5.00 10lb/bag: This is a good deal on a 10lb bag of potatoes.
- Eggplant - $1.99 per lb: This is a solid price for eggplant.
- Strawberries - $3.98 2lb/shell: This is a great deal on strawberries! Anything under $2 a pound is a good buy.
- Cherries - $3.33 per lb: There have been better cherry deals out there this week and coming up, so you might want to wait on this one.
- Paneer (Brar's) - $4.44 375g/brick: This is an awesome deal on paneer cheese!
- Deli - Ziggy's beef - $2.50/100g: Adonis has a better deal on roast beef this week.
- Canned tuna (No Name) - $1.00 170g/can: This is an awesome deal on canned tuna! Stock up while it's on sale.
Loving the content so far? Share the love with a friend! If you know someone who might enjoy this, it would make my day if you could forward it their way.
Sobeys
- Whole chicken or chicken legs - $1.88 per lb: Great chicken deal! Nice to see a few places with deals like this.
- Rainbow Trout - $10.99 per lb: A little over the average sale price, but not by much. Still a good deal.
- Yellowfin Tuna steaks - $10.88 per lb: Interesting value proposition to consider given the price of the trout. I might opt for this if I'm feeling up for fish.
- Broccoli - $2.44 per lb: This is not per crown, but per lb. This can mean some good savings depending on how much stem you're paying for.
- Salad kits (Compliments) - $4.00 for 2x 340-397g kits: Good deal for salad kits. These seem to swing in price a lot. It's probably a high-margin item most weeks. You'll see $4 kits, and then they'll drop to $2. BE mindful and check around before buying kits over $3.
- Cherries - $3.47 per lb: Not the best cherry deal, but still pretty good overall.
- Brick cheese (Compliments) - $4.44 400g bar: Great cheese deal!
- Beef t-bone steak (Your Fresh Market) - $16.00 per lb: This t-bone is a bit pricey.
- Chicken Breast (boneless skinless, Mina, halal) - $12.00 4-pack: This deal is worth checking out in person. The price per pound depends on the weight of the pack. If it's 2lbs, it's about average. If it weighs closer to 2.5-3lbs, then it becomes a really good value.
- Sweet peppers - $1.44 per lb: This is the cheapest price on peppers I've seen this week!
- Corn - $0.67 each: This isn't nearly a good deal.
- Green onions - $0.97 per bunch: This is a nice price for green onions.
- Coleslaw kit (Your Fresh Market) - $2.47 397g kit: This is an average price for a pre-made salad kit.
- Romaine lettuce - $3.97 3-pack: This is a good price for romaine lettuce. It's hard to find it much cheaper, and it can definitely be more expensive.
- Zucchini - $1.97 per lb: This is an okay price for zucchini. A price of $1.50/lb or less would be a really good deal.
- Long eggplant - $1.77 per lb: This is a good price for eggplant! I'm curious how it compares to the price of regular eggplant.
- Strawberries - $1.64 454g shell: This is an amazing deal on strawberries! It's the best price in town, with the Basics deal being a close second.
- Pineapple, Cantaloupe - $2.97 each: This is a good and fair price for pineapple and cantaloupe.
- Paneer (Happy Dairy) - $4.44 300g brick: This is similar to the Brar's deal for paneer, which was also $4.44. However, this is a smaller brick (300g) compared to Brar's (375g).
2024.06.05 17:08 itschill2013 Stucco Replacement?
We closed on our first house a few weeks ago. Part of our inspection fixes we wanted the holes (top right corner) in the stucco fixed and painted. The sellers couldn’t get it done before closing so they added money on to closing and now it’s our responsibility to fix the holes. It’s quickly becoming clear why it was difficult for the sellers to find someone to fix this as we live in a part of the country where stucco is not very common and not a lot of contractors deal with it and don’t have time to even come give us an estimate.
Im wondering if anyone knows how much it would be to take off the stucco and replace with vinyl siding. The stucco is only on the front of the house above the brick so it’s not the whole house.
submitted by itschill2013 to FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]
Im wondering if anyone knows how much it would be to take off the stucco and replace with vinyl siding. The stucco is only on the front of the house above the brick so it’s not the whole house.
2024.06.05 17:06 Outside-Mix-2533 AITAH: for not paying my car off in 6 months?
This is my first post and not sure if anyone will see this but…
Preface: I (F) recently moved to Orlando, September 2021. Since I was new to the city, I decided to look up Facebook friends who also lived in the area.
I found an acquaintance from high school. We were only acquaintances because I dated one of his friends all through high school. (Neither of us stayed in contact with my ex high school boyfriend. So it never presented an issue.)
I reached out to him on Facebook messenger. He responded and asked me if I wanted a tour of downtown Orlando. I immediately said yes. Upon our first encounter, sparks flew and we begin to see each other shortly after that.
January 2022; we officially started dating.
April 2023; his company promoted him to a c-suite position in Tampa.
I was beyond excited about his promotion since he had been working the last five years for this position. But I knew this meant we would either break up or move out together.
Since I was still pretty new to Orlando, and finally had build my community. I was reluctant to move to Tampa unless a future for us awaited. However I am not one for ultimatums and decided to make the move with him.
I quit my job ended on bad terms unfortunately. I also ended my apartment lease. And had a farewell party with friends.
I found a new job in Tampa. We were very excited for the future.
May 2023. He calls me and says he’s not sure he wants to continue this relationship… so I broke it off.💀
As aforementioned; I left on bad terms with my old employer. I was currently with no job and with apartment lease about to expire. in Orlando…
There was also no reason for me to move to Tampa. Cause why restart a whole new life.
I recinded my new hire position in Tampa.
June 2023: he calls me saying I think I made a mistake. Let’s continue this relationship. I finally had the cards in my hands and said “I am not going back to you unless there’s a future.” AKA were getting engaged or were done for good.
He said he wasn’t ready for that. So we broke it off for good.
I went over to a friend’s house for dinner. And was venting about the situation.
Out of the blue, we hear knock on the door. (He had my location on.) it was my ex-boyfriend with a ring in his hand. He said I want to do this. Let’s get married. I cry and say yes. This was the love of my life.
July 2023: we are happily newly engaged and starting our new life in Tampa. I reached out to the old employer that had offered me a position, however was told that it was already filled. So I begin looking for new positions.
At this point of my life, I only have $10,000 to my name. Which is enough to get me by for three months.
Aug 2023: My fiancé is thriving in his new c-suit position, however he starts to change a little. He tells me he’s embarrassed by the car I drive. That no executive spouse should be driving a broken down Altima. I will admit the AC stopped working and my car would stall a lot.
However I explained that I wasn’t in a financial position to buy a new car. I’m still unemployed. He says don’t worry I’ll help you out by matching your down payment.
I picked out a new car (34k) it’s not a luxury car, but I still know I can’t afford it. I put down $10,000. (The last to my name.) And he said he’ll match me by giving me 2000$ a week for five weeks. And he wants the car paid off in 6 months. I said I will try my best.
I’m at zero dollars and no income so instead of putting the $2000 a week into my car I used it for day to day living expenses. And decide to pay off my car in increments (400$/month)
September 2023: I got a part time job.
I saved a lot and placed($6000) onto the principal balance of the car payment. Now I owe 18,000.
Second stressor enters the chat: He starts complaining that the house doesn’t look good enough for an executive and would like me to start decorating it. so I start buying things for the house.
Jan 2024: I finally have a full time job. And move into my own apartment. We don’t believe in moving into together until marriage. We had a small exception due to me not being able to afford rent on a part time salary.
Feb 2024: we have a financial meeting. He asks how much do you have left on the car? I tell him I $8000. He looses his mind.
He asked what I did with all the money that he gave me… I said I’ve been using it for day to day expenses: such as decorating the house and that I opted to keep some of the money for emergencies during my unemployment.
He pulls up an excel sheet and shows me how this car should have been payed off by now and that he doesn’t believe in debt.
He tells me how irresponsible I am with money. That I’m immature. All trust was lost in me. He can’t marry someone he doesn’t have trust in.
He tells his family that I took his money and spent it all on myself. Which I didn’t I was just trying to meet basic needs during my unemployment. And now I was trying to make him happy by decorating the house.
May 2024: we break off the engagement due to other stressors not just financial . I still have ($4,000 left on the car.)
I get a Venmo for $5,000 with the title: “for the car.”
Although I’m appreciative of the $5000 it feels like a slap to the face.
AITAH for taking his offer of 10k match and not paying off the car within 6 months? I feel like this was the catalyst to our breakup. Now I’m sad. In a new-ish town without a fiancé. Barely any friends. No family. Lonely apartment.
But hey at least the car is paid off… I hate looking at that fucking thing.
submitted by Outside-Mix-2533 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Preface: I (F) recently moved to Orlando, September 2021. Since I was new to the city, I decided to look up Facebook friends who also lived in the area.
I found an acquaintance from high school. We were only acquaintances because I dated one of his friends all through high school. (Neither of us stayed in contact with my ex high school boyfriend. So it never presented an issue.)
I reached out to him on Facebook messenger. He responded and asked me if I wanted a tour of downtown Orlando. I immediately said yes. Upon our first encounter, sparks flew and we begin to see each other shortly after that.
January 2022; we officially started dating.
April 2023; his company promoted him to a c-suite position in Tampa.
I was beyond excited about his promotion since he had been working the last five years for this position. But I knew this meant we would either break up or move out together.
Since I was still pretty new to Orlando, and finally had build my community. I was reluctant to move to Tampa unless a future for us awaited. However I am not one for ultimatums and decided to make the move with him.
I quit my job ended on bad terms unfortunately. I also ended my apartment lease. And had a farewell party with friends.
I found a new job in Tampa. We were very excited for the future.
May 2023. He calls me and says he’s not sure he wants to continue this relationship… so I broke it off.💀
As aforementioned; I left on bad terms with my old employer. I was currently with no job and with apartment lease about to expire. in Orlando…
There was also no reason for me to move to Tampa. Cause why restart a whole new life.
I recinded my new hire position in Tampa.
June 2023: he calls me saying I think I made a mistake. Let’s continue this relationship. I finally had the cards in my hands and said “I am not going back to you unless there’s a future.” AKA were getting engaged or were done for good.
He said he wasn’t ready for that. So we broke it off for good.
I went over to a friend’s house for dinner. And was venting about the situation.
Out of the blue, we hear knock on the door. (He had my location on.) it was my ex-boyfriend with a ring in his hand. He said I want to do this. Let’s get married. I cry and say yes. This was the love of my life.
July 2023: we are happily newly engaged and starting our new life in Tampa. I reached out to the old employer that had offered me a position, however was told that it was already filled. So I begin looking for new positions.
At this point of my life, I only have $10,000 to my name. Which is enough to get me by for three months.
Aug 2023: My fiancé is thriving in his new c-suit position, however he starts to change a little. He tells me he’s embarrassed by the car I drive. That no executive spouse should be driving a broken down Altima. I will admit the AC stopped working and my car would stall a lot.
However I explained that I wasn’t in a financial position to buy a new car. I’m still unemployed. He says don’t worry I’ll help you out by matching your down payment.
I picked out a new car (34k) it’s not a luxury car, but I still know I can’t afford it. I put down $10,000. (The last to my name.) And he said he’ll match me by giving me 2000$ a week for five weeks. And he wants the car paid off in 6 months. I said I will try my best.
I’m at zero dollars and no income so instead of putting the $2000 a week into my car I used it for day to day living expenses. And decide to pay off my car in increments (400$/month)
September 2023: I got a part time job.
I saved a lot and placed($6000) onto the principal balance of the car payment. Now I owe 18,000.
Second stressor enters the chat: He starts complaining that the house doesn’t look good enough for an executive and would like me to start decorating it. so I start buying things for the house.
Jan 2024: I finally have a full time job. And move into my own apartment. We don’t believe in moving into together until marriage. We had a small exception due to me not being able to afford rent on a part time salary.
Feb 2024: we have a financial meeting. He asks how much do you have left on the car? I tell him I $8000. He looses his mind.
He asked what I did with all the money that he gave me… I said I’ve been using it for day to day expenses: such as decorating the house and that I opted to keep some of the money for emergencies during my unemployment.
He pulls up an excel sheet and shows me how this car should have been payed off by now and that he doesn’t believe in debt.
He tells me how irresponsible I am with money. That I’m immature. All trust was lost in me. He can’t marry someone he doesn’t have trust in.
He tells his family that I took his money and spent it all on myself. Which I didn’t I was just trying to meet basic needs during my unemployment. And now I was trying to make him happy by decorating the house.
May 2024: we break off the engagement due to other stressors not just financial . I still have ($4,000 left on the car.)
I get a Venmo for $5,000 with the title: “for the car.”
Although I’m appreciative of the $5000 it feels like a slap to the face.
AITAH for taking his offer of 10k match and not paying off the car within 6 months? I feel like this was the catalyst to our breakup. Now I’m sad. In a new-ish town without a fiancé. Barely any friends. No family. Lonely apartment.
But hey at least the car is paid off… I hate looking at that fucking thing.
2024.06.05 17:00 loveyouronions Unpopular Opinion: the majority of questions on this sub and other groups like it miss the point.
Yes, I created this subreddit. But I think I may have created a problem!
Not to act like a full-on main character, but maybe 1 or 2 of you have noticed that I have stopped posting on this sub. I also deleted my TikTok which was mainly based around UPF, and I really stopped engaging in a lot of the discourse around it. This was mainly due to some health stuff I had going on, and a growing realisation that I didn’t love having my face exposed to that manly people.
Mainly, though - I just didn’t see the point. I have grown tired of the frustration that arises in me as I debate over food companies, conglomerates, and what they have done to our food system. What felt like a revelation to me, something that fundamentally altered how I understand my relationship to food, my former obesity, my relationship with exercise, movement, and (yes really) perhaps even with the natural world, my place in it, and other existential thought processes - that revelation was just batted away by food companies, and ‘scientists’ funded by food companies, with the exact same group of excuses that stopped the tobacco industry from being regulated for so long. This video really helped me understand that on a deeper level, if you’re interested. We’re decades off regulation and proper labelling and education around this stuff, it’s brutal to understand that thousands will die and live with overweight and obesity, as well as metabolic health problems, even just in my country.
And it’s not just the companies and the food industry, it’s people around me too. Yes dear, we can see you’re much healthier and happier, thinner and fitter, and a nicer person to be around. But we like our Doritos and our white bread and we feel a bit threatened by all this, so we’re going to go ahead and label you as having an eating disorder. An ED fuelled by pseudoscience. Oh, and by the way statistically you’ll gain the weight back in 2-5 years. Also, you have an exercise addiction, because you won’t get drunk on a Friday night since you have parkrun in the morning.
Ok, so anger and a demand for change isn’t going to do wonders for my mental health. But I can try to help in my own way. Right, let me log onto Reddit and have a chat about the daily realities of living this way. Fuck ‘em, I am happier and healthier and I have done that for myself and my future children and our family life together, not for external approval. Let’s see how my supportive Reddit community is getting on.
‘Is this UPF??!’ (an ingredient list absolutely chock full of additives and printed on plastic)
Hm, what else?
‘Is this UPF?!’ (A tin of beans with a little citric acid)
Ok…
‘I am trying to reduce UPF but I really love pop tarts. Anyone have any recommendations for UPF-free pop tarts?
Yikes.
‘UPF free cocoa pops?!’
‘I have been eating 800 calories of dried fruit and yoghurt bites a day. Why am I not losing weight?’
‘If you eat seed oils it’s basically poison and you may as well eat emulsifiers neat from the bottle’
‘I have a history of severe anorexia. Do you think I should allow myself to eat a little soya lecithin while in recovery?’ (By the way, if it isn’t clear, you probably shouldn’t be here if you have a restrictive ED. Please prioritise food freedom and don’t allow UPF to become a reason to stall recovery)
‘I have my cousin’s wedding next week and they’ll be serving bread, and I don’t know whether or not it’s UPF. Should I contact the caterers?’
‘Do vegan mock meats count as UPF?’
Look, I know it’s all well-meaning, and some of these (exaggerated) examples are good questions, in a way. But I can’t help but feel that so much of it misses the point. Living a low-UPF lifestyle - or as I have begun to call it, a real-food eating pattern - isn’t about nitpicking. It’s not about dissecting through ingredients lists. It’s not a diet, it’s not a food restriction, it’s not a list of things you can and can’t eat. It’s an eating pattern. And dietary patterns are what predict health outcomes, not individuals dietary choices. It’s about what you do, most of the time. What you prioritise, what you value in your dietary pattern, and your mindset around food. Sometimes I have a bar of Dairy Milk Wholenut, and that doesn’t change my eating pattern. I prioritise whole foods and plants, but that’ll probably always be something I take joy in after a half-marathon or just because.
I can find no better way of describing it than by saying that real-food eating is essentially about, well, vibes.
I don’t check the salad in my local cafe for UPF croutons. I don’t worry about whether they’re using sunflower oil in my local vegan salad place. I don’t worry about bread at a wedding, a pain au chocolat after a long run with friends, a little ginger flavouring in my kombucha when I’m on the move. I don’t restrict myself in that way. But equally I don’t pretend that salt and vinegar crisps aren’t UPF. Or magic ‘UPF-free’ loophole products (with perhaps the exception of fruit leather snacks…!). Yes, your cereal is UPF. And so is your ice cream, your packaged biscuits and your flavoured coffee syrup.
There are no loopholes. That’s the point. You can’t reformulate products away from being ultra-processed. At a certain point, they’re products. They exist to make money and to make you buy more. They’re wrapped in plastic, they’re shipped worldwide, and they’ve been formulated a certain way. They’re UPF, whatever the ingredients are.
‘But technically….!!!’ No! You’re missing the point. Eating real food means just that: I eat fresh, whole, proper food. I know what that means. You know what that means. I can describe it and you can imagine some cornucopia of real food displayed on some Italian riviera somewhere, and you know what’s there and what’s not. Yes there are canned products, and preserved products. Fresh or dried fruit, vegetables aplenty, quality meats, fish, cheese. Beans, pulses, dairy products, yogurt, kefir and fresh jams and preserves. Fresh eggs, water, tea and coffee. Pasta, pulses, Condiments, relishes, chutneys, ground spices. Cordials in the summer when I can get them fresh, with sparkling water and lemon if I like it. Proper bread, crackers and nuts and seeds. Biscotti perhaps, or maybe some fresh tiramisu. A little chocolate of an evening, sometimes fresh gelato on a sunny day. Warming soups in the winter, and cold noodle salads in the summer with ginger and garlic. I drink a lot of water, I eat as many plants as I can get in, and I don’t really think about it.
The point is, I know what a whole food looks like and so does almost everyone. *The beauty of the UPF concept is precisely that it’s not another strict definition that companies can ‘technically’ formulate their products around. * ‘Real food’ and ‘products’ rarely go hand in hand. That’s why the companies are running scared, and it’s why they’re trying to discredit the entire concept. And questions like a lot of the things I see on this sub aren’t helping - they’re just proving the food industry’s point about UPF not being ‘clear enough’, even though really we all know what it means.
There’s a lot of great stuff on this sub - I particularly love seeing people’s meal ideas and hearing about how living this way has changed people’s lives. And I recognise that there needs to be a degree of ‘Is this UPF’ talk. But stop trying to get out of living this way on a technicality. Embrace it. Eat whole foods, feel good. Snack on fruit and veg, cheese and nuts. And relax a little - it should be a joy. And it is a joy, when you allow it to be. I rarely think about what I don’t eat because what I do eat is such a joy to me now. I never count calories, I never worry about fat content or fear the density of my food. I eat well, I eat whole food with joy and pleasure.
submitted by loveyouronions to ultraprocessedfood [link] [comments]
Not to act like a full-on main character, but maybe 1 or 2 of you have noticed that I have stopped posting on this sub. I also deleted my TikTok which was mainly based around UPF, and I really stopped engaging in a lot of the discourse around it. This was mainly due to some health stuff I had going on, and a growing realisation that I didn’t love having my face exposed to that manly people.
Mainly, though - I just didn’t see the point. I have grown tired of the frustration that arises in me as I debate over food companies, conglomerates, and what they have done to our food system. What felt like a revelation to me, something that fundamentally altered how I understand my relationship to food, my former obesity, my relationship with exercise, movement, and (yes really) perhaps even with the natural world, my place in it, and other existential thought processes - that revelation was just batted away by food companies, and ‘scientists’ funded by food companies, with the exact same group of excuses that stopped the tobacco industry from being regulated for so long. This video really helped me understand that on a deeper level, if you’re interested. We’re decades off regulation and proper labelling and education around this stuff, it’s brutal to understand that thousands will die and live with overweight and obesity, as well as metabolic health problems, even just in my country.
And it’s not just the companies and the food industry, it’s people around me too. Yes dear, we can see you’re much healthier and happier, thinner and fitter, and a nicer person to be around. But we like our Doritos and our white bread and we feel a bit threatened by all this, so we’re going to go ahead and label you as having an eating disorder. An ED fuelled by pseudoscience. Oh, and by the way statistically you’ll gain the weight back in 2-5 years. Also, you have an exercise addiction, because you won’t get drunk on a Friday night since you have parkrun in the morning.
Ok, so anger and a demand for change isn’t going to do wonders for my mental health. But I can try to help in my own way. Right, let me log onto Reddit and have a chat about the daily realities of living this way. Fuck ‘em, I am happier and healthier and I have done that for myself and my future children and our family life together, not for external approval. Let’s see how my supportive Reddit community is getting on.
‘Is this UPF??!’ (an ingredient list absolutely chock full of additives and printed on plastic)
Hm, what else?
‘Is this UPF?!’ (A tin of beans with a little citric acid)
Ok…
‘I am trying to reduce UPF but I really love pop tarts. Anyone have any recommendations for UPF-free pop tarts?
Yikes.
‘UPF free cocoa pops?!’
‘I have been eating 800 calories of dried fruit and yoghurt bites a day. Why am I not losing weight?’
‘If you eat seed oils it’s basically poison and you may as well eat emulsifiers neat from the bottle’
‘I have a history of severe anorexia. Do you think I should allow myself to eat a little soya lecithin while in recovery?’ (By the way, if it isn’t clear, you probably shouldn’t be here if you have a restrictive ED. Please prioritise food freedom and don’t allow UPF to become a reason to stall recovery)
‘I have my cousin’s wedding next week and they’ll be serving bread, and I don’t know whether or not it’s UPF. Should I contact the caterers?’
‘Do vegan mock meats count as UPF?’
Look, I know it’s all well-meaning, and some of these (exaggerated) examples are good questions, in a way. But I can’t help but feel that so much of it misses the point. Living a low-UPF lifestyle - or as I have begun to call it, a real-food eating pattern - isn’t about nitpicking. It’s not about dissecting through ingredients lists. It’s not a diet, it’s not a food restriction, it’s not a list of things you can and can’t eat. It’s an eating pattern. And dietary patterns are what predict health outcomes, not individuals dietary choices. It’s about what you do, most of the time. What you prioritise, what you value in your dietary pattern, and your mindset around food. Sometimes I have a bar of Dairy Milk Wholenut, and that doesn’t change my eating pattern. I prioritise whole foods and plants, but that’ll probably always be something I take joy in after a half-marathon or just because.
I can find no better way of describing it than by saying that real-food eating is essentially about, well, vibes.
I don’t check the salad in my local cafe for UPF croutons. I don’t worry about whether they’re using sunflower oil in my local vegan salad place. I don’t worry about bread at a wedding, a pain au chocolat after a long run with friends, a little ginger flavouring in my kombucha when I’m on the move. I don’t restrict myself in that way. But equally I don’t pretend that salt and vinegar crisps aren’t UPF. Or magic ‘UPF-free’ loophole products (with perhaps the exception of fruit leather snacks…!). Yes, your cereal is UPF. And so is your ice cream, your packaged biscuits and your flavoured coffee syrup.
There are no loopholes. That’s the point. You can’t reformulate products away from being ultra-processed. At a certain point, they’re products. They exist to make money and to make you buy more. They’re wrapped in plastic, they’re shipped worldwide, and they’ve been formulated a certain way. They’re UPF, whatever the ingredients are.
‘But technically….!!!’ No! You’re missing the point. Eating real food means just that: I eat fresh, whole, proper food. I know what that means. You know what that means. I can describe it and you can imagine some cornucopia of real food displayed on some Italian riviera somewhere, and you know what’s there and what’s not. Yes there are canned products, and preserved products. Fresh or dried fruit, vegetables aplenty, quality meats, fish, cheese. Beans, pulses, dairy products, yogurt, kefir and fresh jams and preserves. Fresh eggs, water, tea and coffee. Pasta, pulses, Condiments, relishes, chutneys, ground spices. Cordials in the summer when I can get them fresh, with sparkling water and lemon if I like it. Proper bread, crackers and nuts and seeds. Biscotti perhaps, or maybe some fresh tiramisu. A little chocolate of an evening, sometimes fresh gelato on a sunny day. Warming soups in the winter, and cold noodle salads in the summer with ginger and garlic. I drink a lot of water, I eat as many plants as I can get in, and I don’t really think about it.
The point is, I know what a whole food looks like and so does almost everyone. *The beauty of the UPF concept is precisely that it’s not another strict definition that companies can ‘technically’ formulate their products around. * ‘Real food’ and ‘products’ rarely go hand in hand. That’s why the companies are running scared, and it’s why they’re trying to discredit the entire concept. And questions like a lot of the things I see on this sub aren’t helping - they’re just proving the food industry’s point about UPF not being ‘clear enough’, even though really we all know what it means.
There’s a lot of great stuff on this sub - I particularly love seeing people’s meal ideas and hearing about how living this way has changed people’s lives. And I recognise that there needs to be a degree of ‘Is this UPF’ talk. But stop trying to get out of living this way on a technicality. Embrace it. Eat whole foods, feel good. Snack on fruit and veg, cheese and nuts. And relax a little - it should be a joy. And it is a joy, when you allow it to be. I rarely think about what I don’t eat because what I do eat is such a joy to me now. I never count calories, I never worry about fat content or fear the density of my food. I eat well, I eat whole food with joy and pleasure.
2024.06.05 16:59 chemistea_ [IWantOut] 18NB Unemployed US, Canadian Citizen -> Norway/Netherlands/Sweden/Australia/England/Denmark/etc
So I've lived in the US for 14 years of my life (only 4 in Canada) and I speak only fluent/native English. I'm looking to go to a university in a different country and live there after graduating.
What I'm looking for:
Even though I live in the US I only have a visa here- my citizenship is actually Canadian. My family is South Indian and I have noticeably brown skin.
I have a high school diploma where I graduated a year early. I have 3 AP exams, two with a score of 3 and one with a score of 4. Took the SAT a couple years ago with a 1280. I went to a (community) college for 2 semesters (studied almost all the general core classes, no degree) with an average GPA of 3.7
Currently enrolled in a university near my home at mom's request (because it was only 15 minutes away), don't start classes until the fall semester. My mom has had a change of heart and said she's okay if I go international- which is actually what I wanted from the start. Will drop out if it won't contribute to moving international.
I only really have a few hundred USD in cash. My parents have insisted to pay for my college but regardless I want to go to one that is generally very affordable. They will likely be the ones getting me off the ground financially when I make the move but I want to find somewhere I can work to pay for everything independently.
I've learned the basics of driving. I have an adult permit, but not a license, in my state. Not really interested in driving when I move and would much prefer walkability / public transport instead.
Would be perfectly fine living with roommates in college and as long as I need to afterwards.
I'm not planning to have any children and don't need a big house in the future, a decent sized apartment is also fine. Not interested in drinking culture. Only planning to live with or near my partner (who is also planning to get a degree and work) and maybe some pets over time. Looking to eventually have just one long-term close friend group wherever I move.
Interested in working freelance on the side if I can. Would love studying related to visual art in some way (ig whatever is in higher demand). Would take psychology if I can get a livable job in the field within a few years / just with a bachelor's style degree.
Places I've ruled out:
Canada: extreme housing crisis
Japan: inability to integrate as a foreigner, demanding work culture (but visiting would be nice!)
Finland: Finnish is considered extremely difficult to learn, will apparently have to get a job before moving or residency is close to impossible- this would be more difficult because I don't have experience in the job market.
Considered and what I currently know (basic research, in order of which is most appealing to my criteria):
Norway: No real tuition for studying publicly (great plus) other than a small fee per semester, cost of living will be generally expensive compared to other places but less than US, language is not too difficult to learn- especially with English (and German, which I have no experience in), people are generally friendly but may keep to themselves, decent work/life balance, general safety
Netherlands: better work/life balance, safer, public transport (train access and biker friendly), Dutch may be difficult to learn and making friends may take some more time, possibly glaring housing crisis, tuition + cost of living is higher than other countries but much less than US
Sweden: It's apparently really difficult to integrate / make friends with anyone local, language barriedifficulty, generally dark weather (which is totally fine but takes some getting used to), said to be much easier to afford living here
Australia: English speaking is super helpful, heard it's a lot safer, brightesunnier, apparently issues with cost of living, visa might be expensive
England: Practices mainly English which would be extremely helpful, will probably rule out for education cost being about just as high as my current university, visited once on a trip to Europe- seen more environmentally conscious decisions in London than the US.
Switzerland: Seems to be very expensive to live there, high work standards, not sure how difficult it is to integrate, visited once on a trip to Europe
Italy: Seemed to have legal complications for queer people from what I heard, visited once on a trip to Europe- enjoyed the atmosphere but don't know too much
France: visited once on a trip to Europe, need at least B2 level in French (will figure out how much that is if further considering), not really sure if it's easy to get livable work or housing here.
Denmark, Ireland, Iceland, Germany
submitted by chemistea_ to IWantOut [link] [comments]
What I'm looking for:
- preferably countries that speak primarily English (as I'm not sure if I have enough time to learn fluency in another language right away),
- will definitely consider other countries if there are English classes in that area so I can practice more of the new language while intergrating
- will consider others that meet the other criteria
- liberal / queer friendly
- I go by they/them and I want to live in a place where people respond well to that
- countries that give legal rights/assistance to queer people (ex: ability to legally change gender or name) would be super helpful.
- Would appreciate some place more environmentally conscious than the US.
- livable work
- ability to get a job or freelance while in school
- ability to pay for basic housing
- keep up with college expenses / reasonably paid off debt
- reasonable/low cost college education
- walkability and/or public transport
- reasonable ability for me to get citizenship
- can become a citizen with general language proficiency/fluency, hopefully less than a decade on visas, permanent residency, etc
- (not required, but wanted) possibility of freelancing while on a student visa
- I want to be able to work on my art commissions in college for some extra money if I can or if I can't get a job in the other country right away
Even though I live in the US I only have a visa here- my citizenship is actually Canadian. My family is South Indian and I have noticeably brown skin.
I have a high school diploma where I graduated a year early. I have 3 AP exams, two with a score of 3 and one with a score of 4. Took the SAT a couple years ago with a 1280. I went to a (community) college for 2 semesters (studied almost all the general core classes, no degree) with an average GPA of 3.7
Currently enrolled in a university near my home at mom's request (because it was only 15 minutes away), don't start classes until the fall semester. My mom has had a change of heart and said she's okay if I go international- which is actually what I wanted from the start. Will drop out if it won't contribute to moving international.
I only really have a few hundred USD in cash. My parents have insisted to pay for my college but regardless I want to go to one that is generally very affordable. They will likely be the ones getting me off the ground financially when I make the move but I want to find somewhere I can work to pay for everything independently.
I've learned the basics of driving. I have an adult permit, but not a license, in my state. Not really interested in driving when I move and would much prefer walkability / public transport instead.
Would be perfectly fine living with roommates in college and as long as I need to afterwards.
I'm not planning to have any children and don't need a big house in the future, a decent sized apartment is also fine. Not interested in drinking culture. Only planning to live with or near my partner (who is also planning to get a degree and work) and maybe some pets over time. Looking to eventually have just one long-term close friend group wherever I move.
Interested in working freelance on the side if I can. Would love studying related to visual art in some way (ig whatever is in higher demand). Would take psychology if I can get a livable job in the field within a few years / just with a bachelor's style degree.
Places I've ruled out:
Canada: extreme housing crisis
Japan: inability to integrate as a foreigner, demanding work culture (but visiting would be nice!)
Finland: Finnish is considered extremely difficult to learn, will apparently have to get a job before moving or residency is close to impossible- this would be more difficult because I don't have experience in the job market.
Considered and what I currently know (basic research, in order of which is most appealing to my criteria):
Norway: No real tuition for studying publicly (great plus) other than a small fee per semester, cost of living will be generally expensive compared to other places but less than US, language is not too difficult to learn- especially with English (and German, which I have no experience in), people are generally friendly but may keep to themselves, decent work/life balance, general safety
Netherlands: better work/life balance, safer, public transport (train access and biker friendly), Dutch may be difficult to learn and making friends may take some more time, possibly glaring housing crisis, tuition + cost of living is higher than other countries but much less than US
Sweden: It's apparently really difficult to integrate / make friends with anyone local, language barriedifficulty, generally dark weather (which is totally fine but takes some getting used to), said to be much easier to afford living here
Australia: English speaking is super helpful, heard it's a lot safer, brightesunnier, apparently issues with cost of living, visa might be expensive
England: Practices mainly English which would be extremely helpful, will probably rule out for education cost being about just as high as my current university, visited once on a trip to Europe- seen more environmentally conscious decisions in London than the US.
Switzerland: Seems to be very expensive to live there, high work standards, not sure how difficult it is to integrate, visited once on a trip to Europe
Italy: Seemed to have legal complications for queer people from what I heard, visited once on a trip to Europe- enjoyed the atmosphere but don't know too much
France: visited once on a trip to Europe, need at least B2 level in French (will figure out how much that is if further considering), not really sure if it's easy to get livable work or housing here.
Denmark, Ireland, Iceland, Germany
2024.06.05 16:59 AnonymousSigma5 Mentally stuck, could use some advice
I live in eastern MA which is either HCOL or VHCOL(Which it seems like to me). I'm sort of an over-thinker so trying to think through the affordability of purchasing a home while consider multiple variables has driven me crazy. Here's some context:
2) How does my wife being on maternity leave effect our purchasing power? Will lender disregard that she's making less during maternity leave and instead factor what her actual salary is?(She makes $130k, I believe she'll get 70% of that during maternity leave).
3) I've played with different budget scenarios but I fear i'm always missing something in regards to expenses when it comes to homeownership and having a child. Based on some projections factoring mortgages, utilities, etc, we may have around $2500/month left to work with. That doesnt seem like much to me but that includes my student loans which will go away. However that doesnt include putting any money in our savings. Also, both of our cars probably wont last 2-3 more years.
4) When would be the best time to start the process if our lease ends in June 2025? To break our lease at any point would be $5500. We also have to give a 60 day notice.
Part of me thinks waiting an additional year to get accustomed to having a child and also waiting until my student loans are gone would be ideal. However, our housing inventory is extremely low here and I expect when interest rates start to drop it will be way more competitive. My wife is very determined for us to move before our lease renews. I want the same but I want it to make financial sense. Any feedback is appreciated.
submitted by AnonymousSigma5 to FirstTimeHomeBuyer [link] [comments]
- Married
- Total income $235k
- Current rent is $2750, 1yr lease until June 2025.
- Most houses we like around $700k - $750k(which sounds crazy to me but that's the going price for decent houses within a 45min radius of Boston)
- My wife has no student loans. My student loan payment is $560 with expectation to be forgiven March 2026(pretty much guaranteed due to govt employment; for sake of post assume its guaranteed)
- We're expecting our first child in Dec. Wife will be on maternity leave until April. Will definitely be trying for a 2nd a year after.
- We found a part-time day care for $1350/month(for 2days a week). No family to babysit for now.
- Hoping to have 100k saved for downpayment by end of the year. Would've loved double that but dont see that happening before purchasing. We have probably close to 100k in our own personal savings but we want to make sure we have money for furniture and emergencies after purchasing.
2) How does my wife being on maternity leave effect our purchasing power? Will lender disregard that she's making less during maternity leave and instead factor what her actual salary is?(She makes $130k, I believe she'll get 70% of that during maternity leave).
3) I've played with different budget scenarios but I fear i'm always missing something in regards to expenses when it comes to homeownership and having a child. Based on some projections factoring mortgages, utilities, etc, we may have around $2500/month left to work with. That doesnt seem like much to me but that includes my student loans which will go away. However that doesnt include putting any money in our savings. Also, both of our cars probably wont last 2-3 more years.
4) When would be the best time to start the process if our lease ends in June 2025? To break our lease at any point would be $5500. We also have to give a 60 day notice.
Part of me thinks waiting an additional year to get accustomed to having a child and also waiting until my student loans are gone would be ideal. However, our housing inventory is extremely low here and I expect when interest rates start to drop it will be way more competitive. My wife is very determined for us to move before our lease renews. I want the same but I want it to make financial sense. Any feedback is appreciated.
2024.06.05 16:59 overthinking_7 Today is one year anniversary of DDay
Trigger warning: ABUSE
I was hesitant to call it "anniversary" as it sounds like a word that's used for celebration, something positive. I've been practicing what I've learned in therapy, my black and white thinking. It's part of practicing acceptance. So in a sense, this is an anniversary where it signified something positive and negative for me.
One year ago today I was in another country, visiting my WP at the time for the 3rd time. That time I stayed longer to help him move out of his house. I found out about her because I saw she called while he was asleep when I used his phone to play our mobile game. Called her and we confronted him. I remember the shock I was in, trying to reconcile what was happening because I suspected all along and he had gaslighted me for a year about it. I went into more shock as I read their chat a few days later where AP appeared to have forgiven him immediately and stated she wished to get to know him all over again, and he didn't refuse it. Meanwhile I was with him physically and he was telling me he wanted to make it work w me still. I had to put on a brave face for his children who stayed with us twice a week. I confronted my WP about that last chat w AP, demanded he ended it w her, and then he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me down, screaming on my face stating I should've never gone through his phone again.
I didn't leave. I didn't leave after the cheating, nor the abuse. I stayed for another 1.5 months. Where he proceeded to abuse me 5 more times after the 1st time. It got progressively worst. Next he'd drag me by the hair across the room. He'd grab my hair and shook my head violently. Grabbed me by face so hard and my jaw was hurting. He pushed me around until I fell on the floor. He started not only grabbing me by the throat, but by then he started to strangle me. Almost every time it happened, it was preceded by his suspicion of me telling someone in the game community. Or me ruining his game for him. Or me stating my dissatisfaction about him and AP vague situation. Or I was trying to finally leave the country. He had canceled my Uber more than once and locked the door, took the keys to work, and guilted me into not calling the cops because he said I was trying to cause his children to be without a dad.
Today I reflect back. We've been NC for 3 weeks now. I had continued speaking with him the past year, believing he was trying, believing what he said that I'm not normal for still holding on to the past. That there's something wrong w me by bringing things up. That I wasn't abused. That I was blowing things out of proportion since they never met, and it was just a chat (she sent nudes and they said they loved each other). That I wasn't a good gf. That I was always creating problems. That I shouldn't have told people what had happened because it was a private matter. That I wasn't nice. That I wasn't caring. That I was a bad influence to him.
Today I continued to reflect back. That I am okay. I'm more than okay. I'm not where I want to be in life, but I am mentally back in reality. I'm grounded. That I know what he said was his truth, or manipulation, either way it didn't matter anymore. That I know my truth. That I know my value and worth. That I know what I did and acknowledged and apologized for things I wasn't proud of. Things I'd done in emotional reaction to what he did. That he did abuse me. That he choked me the last time in October until I passed out. That I had bruises on my body, neck, face, and mentally. That he used me for my money too. That I saw who we were as more than he saw us.
And I am okay with all that now. I can see they've all happened and in the past. I'm okay with forgiving myself and not him. I've accepted that this is who he is due to his actions. I've accepted he never valued nor prioritized me. I've accepted that my value wasn't dependent on how he viewed me. I've accepted I didn't have much self-respect for myself before. I've accepted I was in a state of shock and confusion for the past year.
Today, I'm doing what I wasn't able to do last year. Today I'm reliving that situation and choosing yo LEAVE him completely out of my life. What I should've done the first time around. The first time he called me names and degraded me. The first time he disrespected me by flirting in front of me. The first time he gaslighted me about it. The first time he put his hands on me. The first time he tried to lock me in The first time he threatened to kill me. The first time I ran out in the rain barefoot to ask the neighbors for help. The first time he asked me for money.
Today, I'm making the choice to completely erase him from my thoughts. Today I'm making the choice to move on completely. Today I'm making the choice to block and delete everything.
It's positive because I've learned so much about myself. I've learned I was desperate for closeness with someone. I've learned I wanted to impress and looked a certain way. I've learned that I was making excuses for him and for me. I've learned what boundaries are and how to enforce them. I've learned more about myself in the past year than my whole entire 40 yrs of life.
I've been dating again. And I initially did it to get over him. But I'm finding that the bare minimum was easily met by these two guys I'm speaking with. They're respectful, show interest in my life, they made actionable efforts.
I am okay with everything. I am working on being okay every day. I am not depressed. I am proud of how far I've come. This is me and my story.
submitted by overthinking_7 to SupportforBetrayed [link] [comments]
I was hesitant to call it "anniversary" as it sounds like a word that's used for celebration, something positive. I've been practicing what I've learned in therapy, my black and white thinking. It's part of practicing acceptance. So in a sense, this is an anniversary where it signified something positive and negative for me.
One year ago today I was in another country, visiting my WP at the time for the 3rd time. That time I stayed longer to help him move out of his house. I found out about her because I saw she called while he was asleep when I used his phone to play our mobile game. Called her and we confronted him. I remember the shock I was in, trying to reconcile what was happening because I suspected all along and he had gaslighted me for a year about it. I went into more shock as I read their chat a few days later where AP appeared to have forgiven him immediately and stated she wished to get to know him all over again, and he didn't refuse it. Meanwhile I was with him physically and he was telling me he wanted to make it work w me still. I had to put on a brave face for his children who stayed with us twice a week. I confronted my WP about that last chat w AP, demanded he ended it w her, and then he grabbed me by the throat and pushed me down, screaming on my face stating I should've never gone through his phone again.
I didn't leave. I didn't leave after the cheating, nor the abuse. I stayed for another 1.5 months. Where he proceeded to abuse me 5 more times after the 1st time. It got progressively worst. Next he'd drag me by the hair across the room. He'd grab my hair and shook my head violently. Grabbed me by face so hard and my jaw was hurting. He pushed me around until I fell on the floor. He started not only grabbing me by the throat, but by then he started to strangle me. Almost every time it happened, it was preceded by his suspicion of me telling someone in the game community. Or me ruining his game for him. Or me stating my dissatisfaction about him and AP vague situation. Or I was trying to finally leave the country. He had canceled my Uber more than once and locked the door, took the keys to work, and guilted me into not calling the cops because he said I was trying to cause his children to be without a dad.
Today I reflect back. We've been NC for 3 weeks now. I had continued speaking with him the past year, believing he was trying, believing what he said that I'm not normal for still holding on to the past. That there's something wrong w me by bringing things up. That I wasn't abused. That I was blowing things out of proportion since they never met, and it was just a chat (she sent nudes and they said they loved each other). That I wasn't a good gf. That I was always creating problems. That I shouldn't have told people what had happened because it was a private matter. That I wasn't nice. That I wasn't caring. That I was a bad influence to him.
Today I continued to reflect back. That I am okay. I'm more than okay. I'm not where I want to be in life, but I am mentally back in reality. I'm grounded. That I know what he said was his truth, or manipulation, either way it didn't matter anymore. That I know my truth. That I know my value and worth. That I know what I did and acknowledged and apologized for things I wasn't proud of. Things I'd done in emotional reaction to what he did. That he did abuse me. That he choked me the last time in October until I passed out. That I had bruises on my body, neck, face, and mentally. That he used me for my money too. That I saw who we were as more than he saw us.
And I am okay with all that now. I can see they've all happened and in the past. I'm okay with forgiving myself and not him. I've accepted that this is who he is due to his actions. I've accepted he never valued nor prioritized me. I've accepted that my value wasn't dependent on how he viewed me. I've accepted I didn't have much self-respect for myself before. I've accepted I was in a state of shock and confusion for the past year.
Today, I'm doing what I wasn't able to do last year. Today I'm reliving that situation and choosing yo LEAVE him completely out of my life. What I should've done the first time around. The first time he called me names and degraded me. The first time he disrespected me by flirting in front of me. The first time he gaslighted me about it. The first time he put his hands on me. The first time he tried to lock me in The first time he threatened to kill me. The first time I ran out in the rain barefoot to ask the neighbors for help. The first time he asked me for money.
Today, I'm making the choice to completely erase him from my thoughts. Today I'm making the choice to move on completely. Today I'm making the choice to block and delete everything.
It's positive because I've learned so much about myself. I've learned I was desperate for closeness with someone. I've learned I wanted to impress and looked a certain way. I've learned that I was making excuses for him and for me. I've learned what boundaries are and how to enforce them. I've learned more about myself in the past year than my whole entire 40 yrs of life.
I've been dating again. And I initially did it to get over him. But I'm finding that the bare minimum was easily met by these two guys I'm speaking with. They're respectful, show interest in my life, they made actionable efforts.
I am okay with everything. I am working on being okay every day. I am not depressed. I am proud of how far I've come. This is me and my story.
2024.06.05 16:56 StillRare7904 My 2nd ex boyfriend has 20 red flags, I can't move on because 1st ex boyfriend had 60 red flags and 20 isn't bad enough. What is wrong with me.
2nd ex bf:
submitted by StillRare7904 to intj [link] [comments]
- Led me on for months, while using my love to move on from his girl bestfriend.
- Had her on his snapchat while secretly maintaining a streak.
- Talked about unaliving my cats.
- Made disrespectful jokes.
- Types "ua" instead of "you are".
- Hates cats.
- Has bad English.
- Smokes and drinks.
- Has too many female friends.
- Blames me for starting arguments and fights when I'm just seeking reassurance and clarity.
- Talked about swallowing a coin, I didn't know if he was being fr or not.
- Commitment - phobe
- Short tempered
- Street style clothing (I prefer old money).
- Got an ugly mullet hairstyle.
- He wants piercings and tattoos.
- Blame shifting.
- Sleeps with his mom.
- Unresolved feelings for his girl bestfriend.
- Lazy
- He is very dumb
- He is very desperate and attention matters to him more than life itself.
- He would post thirst traps everyday.
- He constantly bragged about girls hitting on him.
- He lied about not having exes.
- He forged screenshots of his best friend asking him to leave me and made me believe it for a whole year.
- He's addicted to watching inappropriate videos.
- He's homophobic.
- He anonymously asked me to leave him just to see how I'd react.
- He made his friend click pictures of me talking to a family member on call, he claimed that I was cheating and proceeded to argue with me for 3 hours that night and then gave me the silent treatment.
- He doesn't respect my privacy.
- He created an account of his non-existent cousin on spotify and never admitted that he created it.
- He copied almost every little thing I did, he lacks originality.
- He kissed me without consent
- He groped me without consent.
- He constantly crossed my physical boundaries despite me stating I'm not okay with it and being visibly uncomfortable.
- Forcing me to send inappropriate pictures.
- He forced me to unfolllow EVERY guy.
- Too clingy.
- He created a fake account and refused to admit that it is his account. He said "This account follows all the pretty girls from my school".
- He always seemed annoyed and would yell at me, then blame it on his homesickness.
- He told me plenty of hurtful things.
- Saying thank you to someone from the opposite gender was considered wrong.
- He would post stories about one sided love and getting cheated on despite reassuring him.
- After the breakup he told me I'm gonna be a loser, he'll go to the gym and make me regret.
- He insulted me, in his stories publicly though he's the one who cheated multiple times.
- He got into multiple relationships in less than 4 months after the breakups.
- He sends shirtless pictures to other girls.
- He talked to several girls behind my back.
- He bragged about being a playboy and going on one night stands after the breakup.
- He created a fake account of a girl and pretended the fake account had a crush on him for a week, in the second week he pretended that the fake account was his girlfriend.
- He did not stop hoovering after the breakup.
- He lied about his age.
- I found his reddit and discovered he is 2 years younger, he lied about the whole situation.
- His friends flirt with other girls while they're in a relationship (you are judged by the company you keep).
- He would send thrist traps to girls.
- He is very unhygienic.
- He smells bad.
- He overly believes in astrology and makes decisions based on it.
- Glorifies hookup culture.
- He has a victim mindset.
- Drinks too much.
- He has a horrible taste in music and movies and I had to force myself to watch it with him just to cheer him up, it was always what he wanted.
- Doubted that he's not actually attracted to women.
- He made hurtful playlists directed at me.
- Has mommy issues.
- Stole my expensive earring.
- Criticized everything I did.
- Talked down on me.
- Isolated me.
- Cheated on me.
- Talked down on me.
- Gaslit me.
- He didn't stop stalking me for months.
- Has the emotional maturity of a 16 year old.
- He is overly obsessed with himself.
- Lack of accountability.
- Multiple fake accounts on social media.
- Embarrassing social media profile.
- Secretly on dating apps.