I am finally divorcing my alcoholic husband after 11 excruciating years. I tried love and it won’t work. He is also a narcissist. He wrote me a big sappy love letter about how he would do anything to stay together. When I stood my ground (and admitted I had a drink today with a male coworker), he informed me his rich aunt offered to pay for an attorney for him. I offered him a fair deal, $600 child support, joint custody, and half the sale of the house, should I sell it. Apparently he was so hurt, he has vowed to counter my separation agreement. So, I now have to lawyer up and get a divorce right away. Oh, also, he won’t leave the house. He claims he is sober (1 week) and has totally changed. I have now realized he only feels good when he is hurting me. Any similar experiences?

For context, my wife and I never wanted to get married. Both of us came from abusive homes. The abuse was mostly because our parents hated eachother, but didn't want to get divorced and took their anger out on us. We both felt like marriage could trap us to someone after they became abusive and it scared us.
We started dating in highschool. After we graduated I worked dead end jobs trying to save up money for a few years to be able to move out, but never could.I joined the military to finally get away from my parents. My then girlfriend (now wife) and i had a long distance relationship for a few years with me coming down to visit around once a month on 4-day weekends while she went to college. I was lucky enough to get stationed within the millage radius.
She was living in a college dorm for the first few years and was close to graduating, but suddenly had to move out since her father decided not to cosign for her and made her move back in. The abuse got really bad. He had tracking on her car and would remotely make it honk when she went somewhere he didn't like. He wouldn't let her go anywhere besides work, school, or home. Her life was very bad. I told her that if we got married we could get a house on base and she could go to college here (the army would increase my pay to accommodatethis). At first she said no since she didn't want to be locked in with someone, but one day when I got home from a week in the field I turned on my phone and was greated by hundreds of texts and missed calls. She had packed a suit case with a few cloths, her birth certificate, and her SS card, and was living at my mom's house. (My parents divorced soon after i left and could only take their anger out on eachother. They became really chill once they were apart and even apologized for everything they put me through. It's not a perfect relationship, but it'sreally not part of this story so I'llskip it)
I came down with a 4-day weekend pass and we got married in the court house. She came up and we lived on post. The abuse was way worse than I originally thought. She refused to live anywhere except on posy because she wanted to be in a super secure area her father and step mother couldn't find her. She had panic attacks whenever she saw cars that looked like theirs. The first 6 months were the worst. She would cry herself to sleep every night. Every morning I would wake up to her quietly sobbing. I would go to work and when I came back she would still be quietly sobbing in the corner I left her in, yet somehow the house was trashed. I would cook food and beg her to eat it and drink water. She would reluctantly. Then she would cry herself to sleep and the process would begin again. I got her into therapy and signed her up for college. That seemed to help some, but she was still a mess.
Fast forward and we've been married for 7 years. She has never held a job sighting her mental health as the issue. It was fine since I was very good with money and could provide for both of us. Her mental heath got a little better, but has never been good. At one point she gained 80 pounds ordering Uber Eats and Insta Cart. Apparently she didn't want to go outside so she needed food delivered. She wanted to self harm, but couldn't do it in normal ways since I would see and make her talk to her therapist about it. Instead she had incredibly greasey unhealthy food delivered to our house and would eat it to give herself a stomach ache. She spent over $10,000 over the course of a year doing this. I didn't notice because she said she wanted to feel like she contributed to the house by taking care of the finances. I trusted her to do that and never questioned her about it. (My fault, I know) She was also slightly underweight by about 5-10 pounds when we first got married and my mom was overweight and constantly told me to never question a woman gaining weight so I waited too long to start asking questions about that too.
Recently I was chaptered from the military. A very long story short, she started constantly attempting suicide and because I was busy taking care of her so much I was non-deployable for too long. They had to let me go. I lined up a job as a cop for when I got out, but ended up tearing my ACL in a motorcycle accident. That meant I needed to get it repaired and go through physical therapy before I could start the job. In the mean time I had to move back in with my mom and my wife had to move back in with her mom. (Niether house was large enough for both of us to live)
When it happened my wife was very upset, but didn't seem to give me much sympathy. More anger than anything. She started to act better when I called her on it though. Later she told me she didn't want to have sex since i had gained weigbt since the accident. Not being able to walk/ exercise and stress eating from all your plans on how to survive crumbling will do that to you. I've gained about 20 pounds in the last 2 months. Side note, she has never lost the weight and has even put more on. She is currently 50 pounds over the highest weight she should be for her height and age. I do have a belly, but I can still benchpress over 300 pounds and you can still see most of my muscles.
Today I got a letter from the VA saying that I would only be given 15 physical therapy appointments. The physical therapist had told me earlier that I would probably need at least 40. I went to the physical therapist to come up with a new plan since obviously the old one needed to change. When I talked to my wife about it, before I could even finish talking she got angry and said we couldn't afford it. She then said that I would need to do more Uber because her part time job couldn't cover it. I got angry that it seemed she only cared about how my issues affected her. After about a half hour fight she apologized and said that her mom is still abusive and that she is jealous that I get to live with a mom who isn't. (Her mom yells at her sometimes, but it's nothing compared to what her dad and step mother did though. Not saying it's good, but there's really nothing I can do right now. The only jobs I'm qualified for require me to be able bodied and I'm not right now. She also isn't qualified to get a job that can pay bills because she's only worked fast food jobs for short stents and has a 3 year employment gap.)
Since we've gotten back she has quit 3 part time jobs for various reasons and I feel like the burden to fix everything is all on me. I'm usually fine with that because I loved her and cared for her, but over these last few months I feel like she doesn't care for me at all, only what I provide. It's made me fall out of live with her. Would I be the A-hole for divorcing her?

Sorry, it’s long. Some quick background, I’m divorced, got married young (5years prior) and got cheated on. Developed very bad drinking habits and put myself in rehab which helped but, this was the experience that turned me sober.
Nov 2022, I’ve recently moved back to my home state toc be closer to family and begin a new career path. I 27M met her 25F on tinder. We go on our first date after talking for a few days and I was instantly head over heels for this girl. Things go well for a few weeks regularly seeing each other. I got scared, the last time I committed to someone I ended up in rehab, so I explained that I wasn’t ready and ended it. About a month later I realize it was a mistake and I make amends. Fortunately, she’s amazing and understands since I had told her previously about my divorce. We make it official Jan 2023 and things are perfect. I meet her family she meets mine and we all click. I feel like I’m in a fairytale. Fast forward to May 2023 and I’m about to leave for 4 months for work. She doesn’t think we will last because of how I had tried to end it before and nothing I could say seemed to convince her otherwise. I had become worried that she was going to break up with me because she had become increasingly distant and hard to talk to. She also had finals coming up so I tried not to bother her so she could focus on that.
The day came that we finally decided to talk. I had a pretty shit day at work and I didn’t want to bring that energy so I went for some after work drinks with my fav coworker first to decompress. I had to wait for her to get home anyways. I got pretty fucked up and it hit me all at once when I got to her house. Realizing I had had too much I try to talk anyways. It goes south fast and I end up exploding. Shouting, pacing and being completely belligerent. I had never done this before, I’ve been mad before but I literally could not control myself. I had never experienced emotions like that before. The next day I’m shocked at myself, a bit frightened even. Ashamed, I’ve never felt lower.
She leaves. Rightfully so. Gone, I’m blocked from everything and I accept the consequences of my actions. I leave for my work trip and when I wasn’t working, I was partying. I became depressed drinking everyday, gained some weight and stopped working out. I would even write letters to her when I was drunk. I was so broken over this girl. I lost myself. Towards the end of my trip in September I wake up hungover realizing I’m heading down the same dark path as before. So I decided to stop cold turkey. And I did, mostly.. I had two relapses but I’ve been 100% sober since September 23rd and I’m much healthier, happier, and I see a therapist as needed.
Fast forward to March, Ive moved states again and I get a text. I recognize the number, it’s her. We chatted on the phone for hours that night and I’m over the moon. Only to wake up to a text from her saying it would be a mistake to see each other and we’d just stay friends. Okay. I have to accept that although, she wouldn’t talk to me again until a few days ago. I found a pair of funny socks she had bought me and sent her a pic. She replies telling me she’s graduating the next day and immediately follows it up asking if she can come see me, saying she would buy the ticket. Up until then I had thought I’d moved on, even moved into the “talking” phase with another girl but in an instant the other girl meant nothing to me and I was prepared to drop everything and take days off to see her…I asked if she was sure she wanted to do that and she said she didn’t care where I was at she just wanted to see me. I said we should talk about it over the phone, she agreed and said she would call me later. Never did. I followed up yesterday to see how her graduation went. We exchanged a few messages before she stopped replying. Today I realize I’m blocked again, everywhere.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt a strong urge to drink but this hit me hard. I don’t know how to get over this girl. I don’t know if I should. My friends are tired of hearing about her and I’m embarrassed to mention it to my family again. Do I block her as well and try to move on or try to salvage this somehow? Also, I ended it with the other girl.
Tl:dr I met “the one” and I messed it up by being an alcoholic. Now she is sending mixed signals almost a year later and I’m conflicted.

Long story short, over a month ago I was driving behind a flatbed commercial truck hauling stone products on the freeway. The truck had chipped rock-like debris on its bed. A rock piece flew directly onto my windshield and immediately caused a large crack. My comprehensive policy has high deductible so I ended up spending over 1400 dollars out of pocket to get my windshield replaced. My auto insurance told me I must file a claim against the other party's insurance if I want them to pay for it.
Today I received a letter from their insurance adjuster that they denied my claim because: incident happened in a construction zone, claim is being denied due to road debris.
I believe they are dodging their liability. After the incident happened, I stopped the driver to obtain his insurance, and I took photo of the bed of his truck (which has debris on it). This photo was submitted to their adjuster so she's aware that improperly secured/loose debris could fall when driving at higher speed or on bumpy road. My car didn't have a windshield damage until I drove behind that truck that afternoon, which I personally witnessed a small piece of rock hit my windshield from that truck, and I heard a loud noise.
Although they are right, that portion of the freeway was going through some construction at the time (K-rails placed in the center divider area), both the truck and my car were driving in middle lane when this incident occurred.
I think this is just wrong that just because there is a construction zone, they are automatically assuming rock came from the ground instead of looking at concrete proof of a truck that had debris on it. To my understanding, there are vehicle codes that prohibit truck from carrying loose object without securing it, but there are no vehicle codes that automatically assume all damages must be caused by a "construction zone" and exempt trucks from securing/cleaning debris whenever driving in construction zone.
Can you tell me what my next step should be? Should I try to convince the adjuster (who seemed extremely unresponsive during the claim process)? Or should I just go file at a small claims court?
Thanks a lot for your advice.
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For the original post, visit here: https://www.reddit.com/CharlotteDobreYouTube/comments/1cfl5w1/exposing_exhusband_coming_soon/
Hello everyone, we have some major updates to this coming Petty Revenge story that will involve exposing my ex-husband for who he is and trying to protect the next person from falling into his trap. They will be coming in a separate post once I get everything together.
This is my story for context with the ex-husband. It will be a longer post, to be warned. Trigger warning for those who may be sensitive to stories about abuse and self-harm
Since my original post, the woman who is currently with my ex-husband, (not with as in together, anymore. With as in living with currently until she can find a new place for her and her kids), we have continued to stay in contact, and boy is this the drama intensifying. In short, the ex-husband is still playing his horrible games and turning her life into an ever-living hell.
Some backstory on my side. I will shorten my ex-husband to EH.
I (28F) and EH (36 M) met when I was 18 and he was 26, so there was a bit of an age gap, but that did not matter to either of us. We got engaged roughly 4 or 5 months after we started officially dating and we moved in together at the request of my parents as we could not fit everyone into the same home we were renting at the time. Things of course started off great. He seemed like a decent man who had his life at least somewhat figured out. He loved to cook and usually worked in some form of cooking-related job. However, never really seemed to be able to keep a job for too long but at the time, I didn't think much of it, given I was 19 and wearing rose-tinted glasses.
Since he couldn't hold a job and we usually had to ask his grandmother for money to keep up with the rent (both worked basically minimum wage jobs at the time) so after a year out of the house, we had to move back in with my parents.
Once we got settled back in there, I started a better-paying job and he had started a new job that was at least okay paying as well so for a bit we were doing okay. We made enough that we adopted 2 horses together and boarded them at a nearby facility. One came in late spring, the other in the summer of about 2016. So after 2 years of being together.
We got married that same year in the fall. Everything seemed perfect. Then came the wedding night... What I thought was my monthly woke me in the middle of the night before it was time to get up to leave for our honeymoon because I was suddenly bleeding very heavily, it freaked me out and we silently went to the ER without telling my family to not cause alarm. Come to find out, I was having a miscarriage. I was a little over 6 weeks pregnant and did not know. Needless to say, not exactly the best way to start your marriage, and did not go on our honeymoon. We never told my parents it happened and very few people know.
We held off until the following year, 2017, to go on our honeymoon. While we were on our honeymoon, I got a call that my mare had come down with a fever and the stable owner was calling vets out to see what was wrong. The first vet played it off saying it was just minor, gave her penicillin, and told the stable owner to give her a cool bath to help her cool down and see if it helped. It did not. They called a 2nd vet after that was not working for a second opinion, and my mare was diagnosed with Potomac Fever. Since it had been a few days since she started her fever, giving her the correct medicines at that point as she was getting very poorly was a 50/50 chance of whether they would help or not. We did cut our vacation as short as we could, but we ended up having to wait to come home as our board check removed what we had left to come home on so we had no money until we got paid again, luckily that same week.
The day before we were able to return, my favorite singer, Chester Bennington passed away. I was devasted. When we did get to the stable, we bought some supplies the stable owner advised us to get, mainly wraps and bags of ice to help ice my mare's feet to try to help keep her fever at bay. We were advised by the vet when they stopped by the check on her that the next day they would bring out an x-ray machine to see if the bones in her feet had turned down or not. If they had not, then she had a chance of making a full recovery and staying sound, and everything would be okay. If they had, then she would likely never be able to be ridden again and need a lot of corrective shoeing and therapy which would be very expensive. We were also trying to keep her on her feet as if she went down and we could not get her back up, it would be a death sentence.
The next morning I went to the stable as early as I was able and.. disaster. I was met by the stable owner and he had advised that my mare had been down when he checked on her sometime in the early morning, around 3 or 4 AM. He was able to get her up then but wasn't able to tell how long she had been down before he found her and got her up, however, she had gone down again and had refused to get up. I was so heartbroken and went to her and tried for a good hour or so while my parents showed up. I was in tears telling them we'd probably be putting her down because she was down. We did get her up, but the damage at that point was done. She was down way too long and she has very noticeable nerve damage. Hardly able to walk, went to the bathroom in spurts, and was so unsteady on her feet that she could barely stay up. When the vet came, we let her know what was going on. They looked her over and advised that her fever was gone, but the damage would probably be permanent without very expensive therapy throughout the years and would never be the same again. It was the humane choice to let her go and she crossed the rainbow bridge that day. I only had her a year and 2 weeks on the nose, but she was my best friend, my heart horse, and I miss her terribly to this day, soon to be 7 years later come July.
After this happened, EH and I went through a bit of a rocky patch. For a week or so he was supportive and seemed to care that I was grieving the loss of my mare, but after a little while it turned into arguments about how I could still be upset, time had passed we still had our other horse so I should be fine, all sorts of crazy things. I couldn't understand how he could say those things to me, especially when he knew I was so close with my mare and had many great plans with and for her that were now of course, not possible. He didn't care so I just stopped going to him when I was upset about it.
Fast forward to late fall of 2018, we decided to move out of the home we were living with my brother in and move into a house owned by his grandmother for a work opportunity for my EH. He ended up getting the job which solidified us moving. Moving didn't go so bad, however, I had to leave my job to move so I was without for a bit until I got a job at the same place he was working at, which was a casino. Usually, we worked separately as he was a cook and I was a cashier for the different food areas, but sometimes we worked in the same area. I much preferred to be in a different area than him cause if we worked in the same restaurant that night, it would get exhausting with him trying to joke around and make passes at me in front of people and joke around that it was the husband and wife team and everything was great. The first few times it happened, sure it was actually kind of funny because we had worked through some stuff and were doing okay at that point, but it did get a bit old and repetitive at some point, and never had any personal space. Plus, I was the one driving because he had a suspended license at the time so I was stuck with him most of the time after the new food court opened. We got our first puppy together for my 22nd birthday the day after New Years, 2019.
We moved on to work with a co-worker at a duck farm in the area we lived which was kind of a fun job. He was hired full-time and I was part-time. We took care of thousands of ducks every day doing whatever needed to be done from farm maintenance, giving them vaccines, sorting them, tagging them, etc. I kind of miss that job as it was an interesting one to have. All was well during these times, but we did sometimes have arguments because he felt since I didn't work as much that this somehow meant I was being lazy around the house and could stand to do more cooking and cleaning (which I was already doing a majority of anyway). It turned into a lot of gaslighting arguments that made me feel like maybe I was not doing enough so I took on more than what I was already doing. With the new puppy and at that time 7 fish tanks ranging from 5 gallons to 150 gallons with over 100 total fish and the entire house to clean and outside work to do, I was busy most of the time he was not home. Of course, as soon as he got home, he would find 1 dirty little thing that I didn't get to or something that wasn't to his standards and he'd excuse me for doing nothing or not knowing how to do anything right. We got jobs working for the same place after the duck farm mysteriously let him go for unknown reasons, which I can now only assume were his fault. We met some nice co-workers and got our second puppy from one in late fall of 2019. My dogs could be Irish twins because their birthdays are a little over 9 months apart.
Things started to decline after this, especially during covid, 2020. I got it very early on when they didn't know what it was and was bad enough that I could not work at all because I was struggling to breathe and function most of the time for months afterward. He did help me some but not much more than getting cough medicine and checking on me every once in a while other than that, he wasn't around me much due to having to work or just not coming around me when he was home, which fair, didn't want to bring sickness to the workplace. We were laid off from that job though in the downsizing.
In that time, he started abusing online slot games, and the extra money we had that we had previously discussed was to be saved for either a newer vehicle or even maybe a home of our own down the road he used to get coins or boosts in his games. They were not the ones you could win actual money from so he was just purely wasting hundreds of dollars pretty much every week or every couple of weeks on these games. I also found he had been spending money online on sites such as OF and other smut websites and paying for NSFW stuff online. Also found he was cheating on me with one person on OF when I got a pinged message from his email chats on my laptop. I, of course, wanted to see what was happening and found everything he had been saying to this girl.
He was telling her around times we'd go visit my parents for the weekend that he was going out of town to his family but didn't say with whom. They would ask him how he was single and he would just say "Oh I don't know, just unlucky I guess" and things along these longs. I wasn't even given roommate status, He stated he lived alone. Had the 2 dogs, all the fish, was woah is me with it all. I confronted him about it and of course, he tried to deny everything, tried to say I was probably the one cheating, and was just trying to blame him, you know, totally normal sane reaction... not. We got into it pretty good, nothing physical, but we did not talk to each other for a bit, I had considered leaving to be with my best friend at that time, but ultimately we started talking and wanted to attempt to work things out. He of course promised not to do it again, he'd be better, all that good stuff so I decided to give him another chance. Of course, I realize that was a major mistake now, but you live and learn, unfortunately.
Things smoothed out for a bit and went back to being okay again. We had a chance to expand our animals so we took it, it was kind of an apology gift in all honesty. We gained 4 rabbits from my best friend in the late-ish summer of 2020. I met her for the first time in the at the time 8 years we had been talking (we met online) so that was great. I am coming to realize that gaining all the animals we did in our time together may have been a coping mechanism for me because I had something that was depending on me and loved on me so in some ways I realize I do have a lot of animals due to this, but I am also an animal lover and love all of my animals and they are very much spoiled rotten every day. They still bring me immense joy and are a highlight of my life even if they were gained with EH. We still had our other horse, a gelding, at this time yet as well and he had been moved to a new boarding facility that was close to where we had moved to. So things were great at this time. In 2021 in the summer I gained a leopard gecko, and in the fall I gained a Russian tortoise as well.
Backtracking a little to around the end of August 2020, I gained my current job and I was excited to start a new at-home job so I could work and not have to worry about going out and potentially getting deathly sick again. I do have RA so I do have a compromised immune system. He started back to work where we were working as they had started hiring people back, so I was happy to have a quiet background which was needed for my job. Well, that did not last long. 2 weeks after going back, he didn't go to work for a day or 2 and I asked him if he was going to work. He stated he was using his paid vacation time and had taken the next 2 weeks off because he "needed a break" from work because he was feeling burnt out even though he had only been back 2 weeks and wanted some time to do stuff around the house. I thought this was odd and he never asked if this was okay... I only found out when he stayed home instead of going to work as scheduled.
He did go back after those 2 weeks off but he only stayed about another month and it happened again that he did not go in for a day or 2 when he was supposed to be working so I asked him what was going on. He told me he had quit the job because it was burning him out and he did not enjoy the job anymore. I found this odd yet again because he did not express any of these feelings before doing so and never asked me. I was furious and asked him how he thought this was okay because in our budget I had made up for us (because he wouldn't) there was no way for us to survive on my income alone for long and we would likely have to destroy our savings to stay afloat. He stated he would look for another job right away, he just wanted some time to figure out what he wanted to do. How, when he had only just gone back to work after about 5 months off, I don't know, but it was what it was, I made it clear he had to find work.
At that time, around the beginning of 2021 or so, maybe more coming into spring, he started his online slot spending again, and I had found he never deleted his OF account and was talking to another girl that I didn't know about saying the same things he was before, except he was talking to this girl the ENTIRE TIME he was talking to the other one. I just didn't catch it cause he had deleted messages so I didn't see it apparently when I found the first one. So not only had he lied about going to delete the OF and other smut stuff, but he had actively continued to talk to another girl for the entire year and a half almost that he claimed he was working on us and our relationship.
Needless to say, I exploded internally and waited for him to come home after helping his gram with something. I had a plan. When he got home, I played it cool like any other day. Asked him how his gram was, what he did at her house, and all that, normal. Then, I calmly asked him who the OF girl was. The color of his face went pale. Or paler anyway. At first asked, who? And acted confused. I reiterated my question of who OF girl was, this time, seriously to let him know the jig is up. He stated he didn't know who I was talking about and didn't know anyone by that name. I pulled up his OF account on my computer and was like, oh really? then explain all of this, and scrolled through the months of messages with this girl.
He had the AUDACITY to continue denying it was him and said he probably got hacked. I found a picture of him fully in the nude in the full-length mirror in the bathroom that he had sent her and said, "Oh yeah? Then how do you explain this picture?" and continued to more of his parts he was sending to the girl and continued to ask and this to all them. He had nowhere to hide. I had also already downloaded copies of everything and sent them to my best friend (the one we got the rabbits from) so in case he wanted to delete everything and call me crazy, I had the proof that I was not and he did these things.
Eventually, he admitted to continuing talking to her even though he said he had stopped. His reasoning? Apparently, he didn't feel the same spark in our marriage or relationship that he had originally felt and felt like I was distancing myself from him and it just wasn't the same between us. He also stated that he felt as if his efforts to make our relationship work weren't being seen by me and he didn't feel appreciated in the relationship. I, of course, asked him what he meant because at that point I had been just trusting his word that he wouldn't do anything else and would stop. He hadn't done anything else. No romantic gestures, no help around the house, offering to grab food when we needed it, take care of me while I was sick, offer to take over any form of bills or anything financial that I was solely doing at that point because he didn't want the responsibility of and had stated beforehand he didn't want the responsibility of.. nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything was always on me, and I was the one burdening myself and driving myself crazy, even when I had another health scare thinking I had a DVT because I had sudden swelling in my left leg around my knee area and would get sudden bouts of breathlessness and was advised to take it easy and remove as much stress as possible for a bit in case I did have one to avoid a possible clot from going into my brain or lungs. Luckily, I did not have it, or any clots. I was under so much mental and physical stress that my body was reacting negatively.
This did not stop him from continuing my stresses at all. I also developed Vocal Cord Dysfunction when I had covid and stress makes it worse so on top of the sudden swelling and breathlessness, the stress was also activating the VCD and constantly making it feel like someone was choking me full force, which would trigger anxiety attacks because of course I felt like someone was choking me full force and like I couldn't breathe and wasn't breathing or at least wasn't breathing normally. It's an awful experience that I wouldn't wish even on my worst enemies.
Despite all the cheating, I never mentioned a word to my parents even up until that point, but they had a feeling something was going on because I was probably being a bit distant with them. I didn't want anyone to know at the time and thought I could fix things. Things only got worse. When he did finally get a job, not until mid-2021, so at that point he'd been out of work almost a year, he again picked up his gambling habits. What made things worse and started to spin more out of control was the pizza shop he had gotten a job at installed slot machines for their customers to play if they wished.
You can only guess what happened from there. While he was making decent money at the time, I saw hardly any of it because he would gamble most of his income at those slot machines. I would tell him what bills needed to go out of our joint account (I had a separate account for myself for my pay, but a portion went into the joint) from his pay, and he would say okay got it won't spend anything over that, won't play this week since we won't have a lot left over, etc etc etc... and magically pretty much all of the money would be gone and I would be forced to dip into our savings to save our bills from going out of date and overdue and gets fees we could not afford.
For context, the joint account was after I paid most of everything else out of my account before seeing what needed to go out of the joint account as well. Usually, the joint account would be needed to cover our rent to his gram, groceries, gas, vet appointments for the animals, medical or dental appointments for myself or him, and pretty much anything other than rent that was a necessity. I took care of the actual main bills out of my pay. As stated above, EH wanted nothing to do with the financial responsibility of ensuring all the bills such as our electricity, water, heat, phones, and internet were paid for on time because "I was better at keeping track of that stuff". I took that on because since I worked from home, I needed to make sure 100% I would have internet and electricity, or else I wouldn't have a job, and I couldn't lose my job over something so stupid as not paying my bills on time. I am not that irresponsible.
In about mid-fall 2021, he was at work and I had requested the day off to take our dogs, then 2 and 3, to the vet for their yearly check-ups and vaccinations so they were good for the coming year. He had just gotten paid the day before and I checked the joint account before I left the house with the dogs and saw that so far, he had not done anything with the money, so all was good and I proceeded to take the dogs to the vet. They did fine. It comes time to check out and pay for the vet visit and... the debit card for the joint account declines and says insufficient funds. Confused, I asked them to try it again before looking because I knew I saw that there was more than enough to cover their bill before I left. Nothing, same thing, it says it's declined due to insufficient funds.
I began to panic because, at this point, we had $0 in our savings because of his antics up until that point, and if I used my bank card, while it would go through, would put me into the negative until payday, which was not until the next week. I checked the joint account and low and behold, within the 2 or 3 hours I was gone, he somehow blew through almost $1,000 in withdrawals to gamble, pretty much his entire pay and I had less than $100 in that account. He had gambled his entire pay when he knew I was out to a vet appointment at that current moment. I paid with my bank card so I could leave, as at that vet clinic, you had to pay for the services before leaving or they would not let you leave, or not let you leave with your animals at the very least until the bill was paid in full. They had no bill me later options.
Needless to say, I was fuming the entire drive home and immediately messaged him about it when I got home and the dogs settled. He messaged me back right away with a BS excuse that he forgot that was what was happening that day even though right above those messages he could see I reminded him I was going to the vet, told him I was leaving for the vet, and was at the vet currently, all of which he replied to.
It of course ended up in an argument when he got home and after a long time arguing he stated he didn't understand what all the fuss was about since I had covered the bill just fine. He was using his pay the way he wanted and that's how it should be. He dared to say my pay went to what I wanted and it wasn't fair I was putting such a tight leash on him and his spending when I spent money on myself all the time, which is not true. I reminded him of this very quickly and showed him my bank account was in the negative because of today due to paying all of the necessary bills we needed, not because I was spending on myself and reminded him if I didn't pay the internet and electricity especially, I wouldn't be able to work which was not in the cards with how his spending was.
I forbade him from spending anything without my okay at this point and in a last-ditch effort, took away and cut up his bank cards and hid mine where he wouldn't find them. This did stop his spending because he didn't have a way to spend. I would only give him my bank card if he asked to get something we needed or he needed, and he was to give it back immediately after use or as soon as he could give it back if he took it to work to get something after work like smokes or something for the house. If any cash withdrawals went out, he wasn't allowed to take it again for a while. This continued into 2022 and it worked, I could relax a little as he was starting to earn trust. Say what you will, but it had to be done. At the end of 2021, 2 days before New Year 2022, we, unfortunately, lost our other horse to a long battle with sickness so we were down to just our dogs, the rabbits, reptiles, and 3 fish tanks because we decided to downgrade on the fish keeping. After all, water was getting expensive to maintain all 7 we had.
The loss of our gelding, unfortunately, turned out to be a good thing, as after we had him euthanized and I had allowed EH to have a bank card of his own again because he had been doing very well, it wasn't long before he was back to his old habits of draining his pays. Only, without the about $400 a month board for our gelding going out anymore, it was much worse. There would have been no way we would have been able to afford to keep him after that. It got to the point I again, took his card away, but then he started finding where I was hiding both of my cards and would drain not only the joint account but also my account. This led to us getting behind in rent especially, on some of my credit card payments which had by that time gotten completely maxed out, and on payments to loans I had taken out to try to get us back on track. Not good.
This continued to no avail throughout 2022. I had many conversations with friends trying to see if there was anything I could do. I was at my wits end with all the constant fighting over finances, continued accusations of cheating, making me feel like I was worthless and not doing enough to try to get him to see reason, wondering why I was not good enough for him to want to change and get his act together, mental and emotional abuse, manipulative actions, almost anything you can think of. I wanted it to stop and I was getting tired of trying. My mental and emotional health declined greatly. My friends of course wanted to support me in whatever I wanted to try to do, but they also didn't like seeing me decline as much as I was.
I had a mental breakdown one night and basically did a 2005 Brittany Spears to my hair. I didn't shave everything off, however, a good 90% of my hair was shaved off and what I did have left was very much chopped and looked horrible. I did get most of it fixed, but needed help with the back, so I asked him to try to fix it up so it didn't look so chopped off. I was already not the best mentally and my anxiety was through the roof. I had simply asked him to just be careful and not accidentally cut or nick me. Pretty simple. As I was anxious, I asked him a few times, and was a bit flinchy when he was close to me. He took this the wrong way and threw the scissors down and started screaming at me that if I wasn't going to calm down and hold still I could do it myself and blew past me out the bathroom door. The door almost hit me when he swung it open and I just completely lost it. I sobbed and was in such a bad state of mind that I ended up scratching my arms to the point I made them bleed and covered with scratches. He didn't care or do anything about it, he had gone outside and taken the car and drove up leaving me there alone. I bandaged up my arms. They stung for weeks and I still have a few light scars. Not a very proud moment, but one that drew me closer to knowing I had to leave. The stress I was under was too much.
My now current boyfriend, whom we'll call BF, (32 M) came into the mix towards the end of summer 2022, introduced to me by my best friend after she found him gaming in Fallout, mixed in with my friends, and took their stance as well that if I wanted to try to make things work, he would try to be as supportive as possible. Over time though, he and my friends slowly cracked and smashed through my rose-tinted glasses to help me see that what was happening was not my fault, and was not an okay situation to be in. My best friend then distanced herself thinking I was choosing BF over her after we started talking more and we were hanging out more playing games together. She decided to end our 11-year friendship amid things even though she knew I needed her and we were not replacing her with each other, we just happened to be growing closer. We attempted to include her in things but she chose to leave and distance herself, stating to me later she regretted ever introducing us.
My BF and other friends became my main support systems, and I decided enough was enough and it was time to let go. I had fallen out of love with my EH for some time but didn't want to admit to it. The marriage was over. I told EH I wanted a divorce but he did not believe me. He said I was being crazy for thinking we should end things, but I knew I was not.
While he was at work one night toward the end of October 2022, I went online and found a service that would assist me in getting the papers we needed to start the divorce process and bought them on the joint account so he could see I was serious.
When he came home, I was on the computer with my friends on Discord, playing a game together. He came in screaming with an anger I had never heard before... He had screamed at me before, but this was different. He was screaming at me to get out of the house, that I needed to get out now, he didn't want to see me in the morning, he didn't care if he wasn't allowed to do that cause he was doing it anyway, he was so angry and my friends and BF heard him through my headset. One of my friends told him to shut up and calm down and EF snapped and screamed at them to shut up and stay out of it.
He then came straight for me and slammed my laptop shut so hard I was afraid he broke it, ripped my headset off my head, and threw me from my chair, continuing to scream at the top of his lungs that he wanted me out right then and there if I wanted to me that way. It all happened so fast, I couldn't stop shaking and looking at him, not expecting this. He had never put his hands on me before. Ripping the headset off my head nearly caught on my industrial earring, which would have been horrible if it caught and ripped out. Luckily it didn't.
Once I got past the initial shock, I stood up and lit into him that he couldn't just kick me out because he was mad I was finally done with him and the relationship, and the audacity he had to lay his hands on me. I needed time to get a place to live because of my work. I needed to get my options figured out, get the animals we had sorted out if I could keep them all or not, everything. I needed to make sure I was sorted out and he would have to deal with the fact that I had to do these things before I could get out of the house.
His anger turned into tears and he began crying and pleading with me not to go and crying he'd do better and be a better person and all the things he promised beforehand. He couldn't believe what he saw when he saw the request for divorce papers, he was sorry for putting his hands on me, the works. It did not work. I assured him I was going and needed to get things sorted out.
The next day I called my parents and told them what had happened and that I needed a place to stay or at least help looking for a place to stay. My parents and brother agreed that they would take me in as they owned and lived in a house, and I could live in the basement of the house so I had a room to myself and had room for my animals as well. I did have to rehome 2 of the 4 rabbits, however, they went to a loving home with a cousin of my brother's girlfriend who was experienced with rabbits and currently had some that 2 could intermingle with. So that worked in my favor.
I didn't think I would have room for both dogs and rabbits remaining, so EH decided he wanted to keep 1 dog and 1 rabbit. He wanted our first dog (the one gotten for my 22nd birthday) and the original rabbit he chose from my now former best friend. I agreed and kept our 2nd dog and the original rabbit I chose from my former best friend. I also was keeping the leopard gecko, tortoise, and fish. However, my parents agreed that if in the future EH ever decided to get rid of or no longer wanted our first dog and the other rabbit, they would allow them to come as well (important in a bit).
I made the move to my parent's house in mid-November 2022 and started the process for divorce. While I was getting the first papers ready to go and sent to EH to start the process, EH would continuously text me and harass me even when I asked him to stop messaging me. He would continuously say he wanted me to stay with him, he would change, ask how I could do this to us as by that time we have been married 6 years and together for 8. Trying to manipulate me into coming back with promises of change.
My response was to send him the first official papers to start the divorce process. In my state, once you initiate the process and request for legal divorce, and the request is approved, you have to wait 90 days before you can then submit the final paperwork to request to make the divorce official because the relationship is not going to work, both parties want the divorce, etc.
I had to send the papers a second time because they were not done properly the first time, but the second try was approved so the 90-day waiting time to submit the final papers began.
He continued to harass and message me multiple times throughout the first month, and then his harassment to try to get me to stay turned into distasteful language and cursing me out, saying he didn't need me he already moved on and had someone else so didn't need me anymore. All ploys were more than likely to see if I would suddenly want him. I did not react other than to say good because I had also already moved on and was with someone, my BF, so I was looking forward to being rid of him so I could be with my BF in peace and not have to worry about him anymore.
At that, he stopped messaging me finally, and I moved all correspondence to email instead of text and messenger for more formal communications only when I had updates regarding our pending divorce.
In about April 2023, I had a bad feeling about the well-being of my first dog and other rabbit so in an update email to let him know we had reached the 90th day so the next day I could start getting the finalization paperwork in, I asked him how both were doing and if I may have a picture of them just to ease my mind that they were doing okay and was maybe just nerves about losing them for good.
He met this simple request with utter anger and venom, stating he didn't have to tell me how they were doing and wasn't going to send any pictures. I was being crazy, they were fine so I shouldn't be asking or worrying about anything. This set alarm bells off in my mind because it was just a simple request to see how they were doing, and so far, legally, still, partly my animals until the divorce was final. I advised him of this and this time demanded proof that both the dog and rabbit were doing well or I would be calling animal welfare as a precaution to ensure their well-being and would want them back ASAP if not met, as I wanted them back if he was not taking care of them.
He again refused stating he didn't have to prove anything and that if I asked again, he'd report me for harassment and false accusations of animal abuse. Not wanting any legal trouble with a pending divorce, I dropped it and didn't ask again.
However, 2 weeks later I got a nasty email saying if I wanted my other dog and rabbit back so badly I could have them, as the dog had been whining so much it was annoying him and he didn't want to deal with it anymore. His sister was getting married in 2 weeks, so I asked if he wanted to have them out before or after the wedding since I was attending the wedding along with my brother and his girlfriend and would be in the area, but could get them earlier if needed. He opted for the week before the wedding because he wanted her especially gone. I asked about the rabbit and he said he changed his mind and wanted to keep the rabbit, but if I wanted her too, I could take her as well. I kindly advised the rabbit would be coming back with me as well as I did not want her alone with him anymore. I told my parents what was up and they agreed they could come home much to my relief.
That weekend in May 2023, my brother and I went to EH's house to pick up my dog and rabbit. The moment I saw them, I was so heartbroken and angry. The rabbit was in a tiny hutch meant just to hold them while we cleaned their big enclosure that obviously had not been cleaned or taken care of in some time and dirty murky brown water to drink. It was obvious she had been couped up there for some time, as her enclosure wall panels were broken down and on the porch. My dog was completely emaciated and in horrible condition. Her nails were overgrown, and she was skin and bones. You could see her ribs, spine, and hip bones, and her face was sunken in. Neglected and not taken care of or fed in some time.
I was so angry I grabbed them and put them in the vehicle and let my brother take care of EH. He talked to him for a bit as I called my parents crying telling them what kind of state my animals were in. They were furious. When we got home, they had the dog I kept outside so he could see his sister come home and they wanted to film their reunion and also show what EH did to her. My mother broke into tears when I carefully got my dog out of the car. She was so excited to see my parents again and her brother. And he was so excited to finally see her again. He had been so depressed without her as he grew up with her of course. It was a beautiful reunion but so depressing and sad because of how deplorable of a condition she was in.
My rabbits immediately went to each other when I put the other into the enclosure with the one I kept. They knew who each other were as well and they started grooming each other and cuddling together like they used to like nothing happened. Both my dogs and my rabbits are inseparable now. They can't stand to be away from each other.
The divorce was finalized in June 2023 and I made sure I had no forms of contact with EH again, blocking him on everything.
I can say I have found a wonderful man in my BF and he has helped me so much and been with me through all of this, we couldn't be happier to be able to be together without people asking how we're together if I'm married to someone else even though I was getting a divorce and no longer with EH. Mainly very religious family members who made a fuss about it, but still was a bit ridiculous.
If you reached the end of this and read every bit, if you have any questions feel free to comment below. An update in a separate post will be coming within the next day or so about what's going on with the woman who is currently with the ex-husband.
This was my story in this, context you may or may not want as not everyone's stories gets told. I am telling mine now as everyone in these situations should.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA_idkidkidk1
Friend’s sister (20’sF) was openly flirting with my husband (40M) in front of me (31F). I told her off publicly and now they want a public apology from me. What action should I take so that I don’t ruin my friendship?
Originally posted to relationship_advice
Thanks to u/_ThinkerBelle_ for suggesting this BoRU
Previous BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: manipulation, sexual harassment, obsessive behavior, slander
Original Post March 12, 2024
I(31F) am close friends with Lisa (33F) we met at college, and became roommates and I love her to death. Lisa has a sister ‘Amy’ (20’s F) whom I’ve met occasionally in college but she was so young at that time we never really hung out.
Lisa had a bridal shower in February and I financially contributed to most of it since I wasn’t able to be there in person to help with the planning. I gave money to Amy to pay for everything, the decor, food and alcohol. I even paid for an overnight stay at a hotel for all 7 girls. I did all of this because I couldn’t make it to her bachelorette party the week before, I had also paid for the limo Amy wanted to host the party in. At the shower I saw Amy and she was gushing about how I had spent a lot of money on Lisa. I just said if it’s for Lisa I would have paid for anything. Amy was hinting that my job was paying so much money for me to spend on Lisa this much. I’m a new surgeon just graduated from residency, i got a pay bump but not a lot. I’m lucky because my husband is supporting me while I go through fellowship. My husband (40M) is a doctor too but so much more advanced in his career than me. For my wedding gift he paid off the remainder of my student loans. He is amazing and I am obsessed with him.
Wedding happened in March, my husband and I came for the wedding. Family and close friends were invited to Lisa’s parent’s place for dinner after. Amy was very handsy with my husband even during the wedding she was asking him about his job how smart he was to be working in the ICU how hot he was how he looks like a young Alain Delon bla bla. My husband was giving me signals to come to him and I did. This happened at least 2 more times. At Lisa’s parent’s, Amy was wrapping her arm around my husbands back and was serving him drinks and food. I told Lisa’s mom about how Amy’s making me and my husband very uncomfortable and her mom pulled her aside and told her off i think because she came out grumpy. She was still acting like a crazed teenager because when we wanted to leave she wouldn’t give my husband his jacket back to him and kept sniffing it. I had a feeling that she was drunk and completely out of it. My husband raised his voice and told her to stop messing around and give it to him. I yelled “can you stop being so difficult you’ve been shamelessly flirting with my husband in front of me the whole day give me the damn jacket and leave us alone”.
I got a text from Lisa’s mom demanding I publicly apologize to Amy as in post on social media a heartfelt apology because some of the guests heard me yell at her and thought I was overreacting and humiliated her.
Lisa is on my side and told me Amy has always had gold digging tendencies and that this isn’t the first time she’d done something like this. She flirted with her friend’s dad and their next door neighbour who is married when she thought that they were wealthy. Lisa said that she’ll handle it. I already felt so bad I ruined the last moments of her wedding day and now she has to deal with this. I’m ruminating on this a lot lately and wondering if I should apologize to Amy. I don’t want to but then again if I did, I would explain exactly what happened and how it merited my reaction to her. Though this might add fuel to the fire. There is so much drama right now and I want to preserve my friendship with Lisa.
TLDR: friend’s sister flirting with my husband, i ‘embarrassed’ her and now she wants a public apology. I’m thinking of doing it but detailing exactly what happened and might paint her in a bad light. But all this drama could cost my friendship with my friend.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
jamicam

Are the guests at the wedding also your Facebook friends? I don't understand how a public apology on social media would work in this case... I mean, I imagine the guests include aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc., of the family. Are they really going to see your FB apology?

OOP

Her mom wants me to tag her and Lisa so that their family can see it. I don’t even use facebook anymore but her family are still active on it.

jamicam

If you don't use FB then there's your answer.
Lisa said she'll handle it. I'd let this alone.

Update March 18, 2024
Keeping it as short as I can and typos galore cuz I’m oncall.
Previous post got so popular that Amy’s mom found it and texted me to take down (in all caps). I got around to read most of the comments a day after I posted when I finished my shift. I didn’t not apologize to anyone or did anything at all frankly I forgot about it since I had people close to dying on me left and right at work. I gaslit Amy’s mom into thinking that I never did such a thing and that I did not have a Reddit account (she believed it I think since she didn’t text me back, cmon the details I put in that post were exactly what she experienced and she didn’t find it odd?).
For clarification:

1. One of you said I had a spine of a jellyfish (loved that comment) and not apologizing was the right thing to do. I was hesitant and was actually considering giving that apology because of the fact that she fed me and let me stay in her home during thanksgiving and Christmas many years ago when I couldn’t go home to my family. I’m the kind of person who’ll remember every good thing you do for me and do my best to reciprocate or get even so as to not be indebted to you. Idk what kind of mental illness is that, I never retained much of the psychiatric info from medschool.
   
2. A lot of people insinuated that me being docile and restrained in those kinds of situations makes me a bad surgeon to which i say i beg your effing pardon. Would you want someone who’s operating on you have a criminal record for causing bodily harm/homicide? Also I’ve dealt with worse than Amy I’ve survived handling 19 psychotic patients with TBIs for a whole rotation. Me being aggressive would have gotten me kicked out of my fellowship.
   

Things that have transpired:

1. I tried to avoid contacting Lisa since she went off on her honeymoon but because of the popularity of my previous post I decided to give her a heads up. Lisa was more than apologetic, in fact she facetimed me and we had a very teary conversation about her family. There were a lot more going on that I never knew but mine and my husband’s involvement in her family drama was the last straw. She had decided to go no contact with her mom and sister. She also warned me that Amy might approach my husband in some way but no idea how. She’s also getting her extended family involved about Amy.
   
2. My husband does not have any social media (so hot) and he did not give out his number to anyone at all during the wedding. He is anal about loyalty and transparency in our marriage. We have access to each other’s electronics. I know he would never cheat on me. 3 days ago someone called my husband’s clinic asking to get his number for an ‘emergency’ and that she needed to get a hold of his wife. The nurse who answered refused to give a physician’s personal number and the conversation got heated. My husband’s colleague, another intensivist, took over and asked her to tell him what the emergency was so that he could tell my husband himself. The person on the phone argued some more and when the doctor wouldn’t give she hung up. That friend told my husband what happened and said the woman didn’t give her name but had a very high pitched child-like voice. My husband immediately knew it was Amy but we have no proof. I know it was her, she must have searched my husband’s name on google and found where he worked since his professional profile is online along with the name of his hospital.
   

I’m getting more and more irritated by this whole thing and have gone full on mama bear mode over my husband. He was furiously annoyed after the wedding and was saying if the genders were switched he would have definitely gotten punched not even halfway through the wedding. My husband had terrible experiences with women before, two women at different times tried to baby trap him, one did some Sherlock level manipulation and one harassed us when we were dating. He is usually a cool and calm guy but now he hasn’t been smiling or joking around with me like he always does ever since the wedding.
Anywho, my uncle (our lawyer) was consulted, security at my husband’s dept and around our home have been notified. Thank you guys.
PS: Kelly if you’re reading this, do something about your younger daughter before something bad happens. Also you don’t deserve your older daughter.
Edit: a Moriarty level manipulation…now that makes more sense not sherlock tf
RELEVANT COMMENTS
I3ex_G

Damn, can your lawyer uncle draft a letter to scare Amy? Just outlining what she is doing is harassment and the outcome if she continues? Sounds like Amy might need mental help and threats of repercussions might force her mother’s hand to getting her help. Is the dad around? I hope other family members will start pressuring Amy to get help

OOP

Nope, we couldn’t prove it was Amy that called. We just have to wait and see if she does anything. Our only hope is that she stays broke and can’t afford to travel to where we live since it’s far from hers. Her dad’s dead. I hope so too.

~
procrastinating_b

Why’s everyone got an uncle lawyer lol

OOP

I’m half Asian. That uncle is Asian too. That should answer your question

Forsaken_Woodpecker1

I’m rolling this response is hilarious 🤣

NEW UPDATE

Update 2 - Final Update May 16, 2024
I’ll try and see if I can update on here since I cant update again on relationships advice. Posts are in my profile for now.
I’ve got so many dms wanting an update but some (legal things) happened since and I couldn’t tell especially since everyone that was involved knows about this post already.
We have the number of the woman who called but it wasn’t Amy’s number (I have her number) but she could’ve gotten another number. At that time, I was almost confident it was her so I got the name of the person the phone number was registered to. We’ll call her Cece Smith. What threw me off was this person had been using that number for 7 years BUT I later found out this woman lived/lives in the area Amy lives. I called Lisa to ask if she knew who Cece is and lo and behold Cece is Amy’s best friend. I told Lisa about the call to the clinic, she went silent, said she had to go and ended the call.
The next day (March 21st) Lisa texted me that she had gotten a verbal confession from Amy about the call to my husband’s clinic. Not only that, when everything happened right after the wedding, I had not blocked Amy from my instagram yet. She must have gone through my followers list and found my husband’s family, dm-ed them with ‘evidence’ that I was cheating on him. Wedding was on March 10th, the call was on March 15th, I blocked her March 16th. Some time after March 10th she had found and gotten in contact with my MIL, 2 SILs and my niece who is 13 years old about my ‘infidelity’. There were skeptical thank God and contacted my husband on March 23rd. I swear to god this girl is so stupid i dont get why she would waste her time on doing this and doing it very poorly at that. My SIL sent a screenshot of the chat from “mizz_(Amy’s real name)” to my husband and he wanted to throw his phone to the wall. Lisa sent me the recording of the entire call she had with Amy admitting to everything and some serious threats about what she would do to me. One of which that she was going to report me to my state medical board (no basis whatsoever like I said, she is an idiot, the premium kind).
We got in touch with my uncle (yes the lawyer who u guys were so baffled about seriously why is it so surprising that I have an uncle who’s a lawyer his wife is a lawyer and so is their daughter, they are a very righteous family idk what else to say), we sent a C&D letter telling Amy to not contact me, husband and in-laws and I let my chief of surgery and head of my program know about this just in case.
March 29th she really reported me to the medical board (it doesn’t have to be doctor-patient related, a doctor could be harassing someone in the grocery store and a witness can report that doctor to the board, THAT is the purpose of creating this avenue to complain) even though they were warned about this, they still had to do the preliminary investigations on me and interview me to hear my side. Major pain in the ass for me especially since I’m 5-months pregnant. The case on me is closed.
April 3rd Amy dm-ed my niece again with ‘new evidence’ of my infidelity. My sweet niece ran to her mom who told my husband and me. We got a court ordered restraining order against her now. When all of this happened, Lisa was helping me along the way, the cherry on top was when Lisa had access to Amy’s email and her instagram (she never logged out), posted how she tried to homewreck a marriage and outing Amy online with screen shots and snippets of the phone call. Lisa changed her password and Amy couldn’t log in to delete it. Lisa made this known to her entire family and they are putting pressure on her mom (hi Kelly) to rein her in. I dont know the specifics but they are using the family inheritance or some heirloom as a bargaining chip for her to behave good. The girl has some mental issues for sure would love to give her a lobotomy.
I hope to god this is the last of this and Amy stays away from us but I have this gnawing feeling that she’s going to try something again. Lisa is the hero in this honestly, she’ll continue to keep an eye out to see if Amy starts shit again (if she does Lisa’s going to hire a hitman so she says).
I dont even know how to TLDR this. Read it or don’t. I hope this is the final update. To the people who don’t believe this happened it did happen but since it’s so unreal, i don’t blame you.
Ps- husband and I are going to couples counseling together as per advised in the comments of the prior post. We are doing very well, he’s planning an intimate gender reveal soon for me (he knows the gender since he’s a trained sonographer lol).
If there’s any question I’ll be happy to answer. Will delete this account in a few days
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Dear daughter,
I’m writing because I have asked if I can adopt you and you have stopped speaking to me. I’d like to tell you about the previous times I have attempted to adopt you.
When your mom and I were engaged we had several discussions about having me adopt you, and I was so excited to be your dad. She reasserted several times that I would have to adopt you if I wanted to marry her, implying somehow that I might not want to, and I reassured her repeatedly that I did want to. I did want to. But that did not happen.
Several times in the first year I asked if we could move things forward with the adoption and the general responses from your mom were that the paperwork we needed was in our home town and she would need to visit some government offices there for the documents. She promised that she would get it worked out the next time she visited. That did not happen.
In the second year we moved back to our home town, and I asked if we could get the adoption completed again. We were behind on our finances and your mom told me that we would need a lawyer and couldn’t afford it. I felt like we could if we made it a priority, but your mom was in charge of our finances at the time. And it did not happen.
In years three and four we went to marriage counseling and decided to have a baby. In therapy I asked why we hadn’t done the adoption yet. I asked if I could try to get the documents together. I pressed harder for a real answer than I had before. I overcame three or four objections in the course of several months.
We didn’t have the money. We do now though.
I’ve been busy with everything. I can do it.
It’s like you don’t trust me to do it. Ok, then you do it.
Why’s it so important now? It doesn’t make you not her dad. It’s just paperwork. It’s important to me.
This wasn’t a quick conversation. It took months of arguing over and talking through these issues. It took working through tangent problems when we had started talking about this one. I called a few lawyers for information which made her mad for some reason I didn’t grasp. After a time I unearthed the reason that stuck.
We’ll have to post a public notice and what if her biological dad wants to come after her?
I felt like it was worth that risk. Your mom never said no. She needed to think about it. I guess she’s still thinking about it. I accepted that this wasn’t something I could do unless your mom wanted to, and your mom didn’t want to. I waited for her to feel like it was safe. I gently inquired occasionally, and your mom would gently brush it off.
After a few more years and skipping some major events in our relationship we found ourselves in therapy again. Your mom asked why I had never adopted you after so long. She was mad about it. She was sad that you were asking why our names are different and other people have the same name. She sounded incredulous that I had done this. I was confused. I reassured her that I do want to adopt you. I’m ready to sign whatever I need to. I was excited.
She went to research what we needed to do and came back with information that there was some sort of clerical error with our records that we would have to fix first but it was no big deal. I would need to sign some things to verify our marriage documents with the state since we had moved away right after getting married. I got updates for a few weeks on how the progress was going. After a month or so I began asking what we needed to do next. She told me that she had sent the paperwork in. She hadn’t.
I did the best I could to be your dad while I waited on your mom to be ready, and I tried to reassure you that I would always be your dad no matter what. I wish I could have told you that I wanted to adopt you very much, but I didn’t want to tell you that your mom hadn’t let me. I didn’t know another answer to tell a young girl that would still be true.
Again I waited for some years only asking occasionally. Again we ended up in therapy. Again we began to talk about adoption. Your mom was still worried about the requirement to file a public notice somewhere before the adoption could be completed. The therapist mentioned that these notices weren’t in particularly well read places where anyone would notice unless they were really looking for it. I argued that you were old enough at this point that maybe it didn’t matter that much if he did want to have some contact. It would take time for him to get it anyway. Those arguments didn’t seem to be incredibly compelling to your mom. She didn’t say no. She needed to think about it. I guess she’s still thinking about it.
I want you to know that this wasn’t the main source of conflict in our therapy or in our marriage. It didn’t have anything to do with our separation. It’s just the issue that I’m focusing on in this letter. For better or worse, both of us knew exactly where this issue stood. We were largely in agreement about it. If your mom wanted to let me adopt you, she would. And if she didn’t, she wouldn’t. I believed at the time that this was normal. I patiently waited for her to realize that I loved you and that I loved her and that I deserved to be your dad.
That patience was a mistake. Allowing fear to control our lives was a mistake. This dynamic wasn’t normal, and I shouldn’t have accepted it. It gave your mom absolute and total control over every parenting decision. It served as a threat to me if I didn’t fall in line. It hurt you and normalized family dynamics that will require therapy for you to recognize as abusive. I should have accepted nothing less than equal parenting rights to stay married, and I should have drawn the line in year one. You deserved to have a father who was fully empowered to be your parent, one who’s promises were backed by signed documents and not just good intentions, and one who was ready to protect you - even if it was from your mother. You didn’t get that. I’m sorry.
When we agreed to get divorced we had already been separated for some time. Your mom asked if I wanted to adopt you. I said that I did, but my lawyer told me that the judge wouldn’t approve it if we were separated - and he would know that we were separated because we had separate addresses. Your mom gestured some visible disgust. I couldn’t tell if it was because she thought I was lying to get out of it or because she thought I was trying to force her to move in together, but I was just relaying what I had been told. Your mom had long since began inventing motives for my words and actions that were wildly different from how I saw myself. I had long since stopped trying to convince her that she was wrong. I’ve yet to lie to your mom or try to manipulate her. I told her that if her lawyer thought something different, then I would really like to see if there’s a way that I could do the adoption. I never heard a response on that.
After the divorce was finalized, I asked your mom if we could find a way for me to adopt you. I wasn’t sure if that was going to be more difficult now that we weren’t married, but I asked for your mom’s cooperation. She was not willing to talk about it, and I asked to understand why. Eventually I was led to the understanding that she didn’t want my income to show up on your college forms or she would have to pay more in tuition. This was phrased along the lines of me trying to threaten your financial well-being. It was insinuated that she would be willing to talk about it if I paid for all of the tuition at whichever school was chosen. And after conveying that information she no longer responded on the subject. For whatever it’s worth, your mom and I left our divorce with the same amount of money. It’s my current understanding that only one parent’s income is reported to FASFA when the parents are divorced.
So, after you turned twenty, I asked YOU if I could adopt you. I realized that this should be your choice at this age. I researched what the process would be for an adult adoption and it is much, much simpler. I spoke with an attorney to make sure that this would not affect your mom’s rights in any way, and I was assured that it wouldn’t. I asked if it would affect your rights in any way, and I was assured that it wouldn’t. It may not feel like it yet, but you are an adult now. You don’t need either of our permission to do whatever you decide in life. I ask that you speak with the lawyers, therapists, financial aid, or whoever you need to — to understand the decision for yourself.
I realize that this information and perhaps this choice has come many years too late. I have been incredibly and very deeply hurt by your mother’s choices, and I didn’t talk about this hurt because I didn’t want to taint the view you had of your mom. I realize now that I was over cautious in how long I maintained this silence, because silence is what allows cycles of generational trauma to continue. We should have been able to have meaningful conversations about our experiences before now, and we haven’t.
You’re not required to say yes for me to continue to be your dad, and I will always love you no matter what difficult feelings and conversations this may bring.
I love you,
Dad

Hello.
This is a short description of the events leading up to my death as an agnostic, a little of what I experienced while dead, and the spiritual inquiry that ensued after I recovered.
Introduction
Let me preface with this overly-complex single sentence introduction, with the caveat that "politically correct" terms for things I say may have changed in the last 40 years, but I have not kept abreast with them:
I am - or was - a high-functioning Idiot-Savant with Hyperlexia and close to an Eidetic memory, offset with Alexithymia and Reactive Attachment Disorder.
Think, "Heroin baby born mute, given up for adoption, beaten into cognitively acceptable behavior by years of torture from adopted parents, then shuffled around in foster care until 18 after the neighbors eventually called the police."
To wit - I've spent a lifetime being called an emotionless but brilliant robot.
Spiritual Preface
My life has been spent best characterized as agnostic. I believed that Plato's noble lie suitably explained spirituality to quell the terror and confusion humans experience contemplating infinity and the unknown.
I was never particularly interested in spirituality because I spent a lifetime doing interesting, meaningful things with far-reaching ramifications and was intellectually fulfilled by the complex challenges that made me a leader in my fields of expertise.
I Died
I died in early 2022. Some people may elect to call this an NDE. I did not almost die. I did die. I died as I had lived - believing that my own intellect and capabilities let me live what I thought was a pretty noteworthy life.
As I was breathing my last, choking on blood, I experienced the stages of grief. In a few minutes, I cycled through denial, bargaining, and acceptance.
Denial and Bargaining
Humans speak ~125wpm. Fast speakers; ~300wpm. I type ~90wpm. We can think ~800wpm. Throughout my life, I've been an effective crisis leader because as my stress level grows, my ability to cognitively process information grows as well.
In the most extreme stress of my life now, I tried thinking my way out of the problem. I cycled through countless versions of different scenarios trying to extend my life in what was probably seconds, time seemed to slow to a stop, and I lived and died over...and over...and over...and over...but every subtle nuance of the status quo led to me dying at roughly at the same time, give or take a minute or two. It was like I was doing timed trials with a stopwatch, trying to improve my performance. I even resorted to prayer and a promise to commit my life to God in exchange for life.
I ran out of ideas. I'm well-versed with muscle failure - the upper limit of a workout when your muscles simply give out and cannot do anything else. I hit brain failure. I skipped out of rapid cognition into exhausted nothing, and God spoke to me for the first time: "You don't bargain with me."
I had a moment of stark, cold terror - both that I couldn't work my way out of it, and that God spoke to me. And that God wasn't giving me what I wanted.
Acceptance
The most interesting thing about it was that I FELT terror. I experienced FEELINGS. Whatever lymphatic anomaly that caused me a lifetime of emotionless rational calculation poked through to the right side of my brain and FELT something. It was amazing - I started to cry. I thought of the highlights of my career - my wins, my triumphs, my career highlights; the charity work I've done, the lives I've touched, and decided I had a good life and I was alright with it being over. My last conscious thought was, "Fuck you God, I did this on my own." And then I died.
I was Somewhere
And then I was there - basking in the warm light of absolute euphoria. Eternal peace. One with the universe - and I had the sense that anyone I wanted to communicate with was there. Anyone. The first person I thought of was someone I respected in life, and I "summoned" Steven Hawking out of the light. I asked if he'd take another shot at life on Earth if he were whole; to leverage his intellect again, and his communication back to me was essentially a very sad rejoinder that he couldn't believe I would suggest giving up where we were to come back to THIS. I screamed in anguish, horrified that I'd suggested giving up eternal, euphoric peace to come back here. I turned my attention away from the "collective" and to the light at the center of this place.
I don't know how or where to even begin with any of it. If the souls of beings are sparks of God's divine consciousness emanating light ... there were orderly rows of what I sensed to be angels lining the "approach" to God. I didn't join the collective, I waited at the outside of this "causeway" approach and communed.
I learned some things. I watched creation unfold. Universal expansion. A mote of iron suspended in the vacuum of space, expanding to grow a gravity well, pulling in dust and gas, creating a planetoid, a magnetic field, beginning tectonic activity, being surrounded by a globe of water; the "firmament" reaching critical mass and flooding the world; countless generations of fish flopping up onto land created by tectonic activity disrupting their traditional swimming lanes, the first ones that evolved into surviving on land masses; making it to fresh water and new breeding and feeding grounds; learning to ambulate on land with their tail fins; the fins eventually separating into legs - and on and on and on through time. I asked what the purpose of the universe was, and learned about that and the infinite planes of existence spiraling through eternity back to the beginning...books worth of information, flooding into an Eidetic memory.
And I remember the primal horror of being ripped away from there as my body was being resuscitated.
Resurrection
My medical records show that I had a traumatic brain injury to pair with my massive physical trauma. Worst of all, I had global aphasia.
I'm a polygot; and I was incapable of speech again. Worse, I couldn't comprehend the nature of speech, or articulate sounds. Again. I was screaming incoherently in my head. My speech skills didn't return in any sensible order. Nor did they return in English first, which is my native language.
I spent most of my lifetime in service to my country in one form or another; and I came to awareness in a strange place, surrounded by strangers, outside of my comfort zone, in horrible pain, being questioned; as my memories started returning, I started calling senior military and government officials to report that I had been kidnapped and was being interrogated. Three letter agencies visited. I was transferred, and denied access to a phone or access to the outside world. It got worse.
It took months, and lawyers, and money and courts to get me released from the hospital I was in.
For a while, I thought I was Chinese. I used ambassadorial privilege that I'm no longer entitled to to seek asylum and tried to flee the country. I was detained.
MONTHS in the hospital, more months rebuilding my memories and sense of self, and then ... trying to make sense of something I didn't believe in. So I started researching.
I've lost my security clearances. I lost my career...but I have full medical and financial security until I die with the "Permanently and Totally Disabled" classification added to my record.
I have a new life and a new career in a new place. I'm not the same as I was, but I think I might be better than I was.
Spirituality Revisited
I have never been a man of faith, which I've always considered to be a tool for a weak mind to grapple with the unknown. I believe in OODA loops, the scientific method, and empirical evidence.
Well...I still believe in those things, and rationally I cannot deny God.
So I started researching, praying, and meditating. Why would someone like ME end up in Heaven when my final thought was a middle finger to God?
I have Questions
Instead of blasting questions into the aether for random digital people to answer, I've done some research.
As it turns out ...
The burgeoning church during the 3rd and 4th century squashing the concept of salvation for all (most effectively through the writings of St. Augustine), ex-communicating Pelagius, introducing the concept of original sin, and embarking on an effective 1700 year campaign to indoctrinate believers that they needed church, priests, and centralized religious guidance (effectively justifying their own bureaucracy and existence) to allow those of the faith to acquire salvation (and avoiding Hell) - and inventing Infernalism along the way.
There are five verses in Revelation that discuss negative eternal ramifications, and a commonly accepted and traditional interpretation is that the "lake of fire" and "hell" and the "second death" are symbolic of eternal pain, torment, pain of loss and perhaps pain of the senses, as punishment for wickedness.
However, the original text - the Greek words translated "torment" or "tormented" into English - come from the root βάσανος, basanos with the original meaning of "the testing of gold and silver as a medium of exchange by the proving stone" and a later connotation of a person, especially a slave, "severely tested by torture" to reveal truth.
This planet - this plane of existence - IS hell. Lucifer was cast down - here to Earth - and our lives - and how we live them - how we deal with torment and testing - determines the truth of our soul; what it's made of, whether it bends and breaks, whether it refines into something like "pure gold or pure silver" or any metal you like for the allegorical reference.
It's interesting that there are some 45,000+ splintered Christian factions around the world - because the truth is - God is not the province of Christianity. That's a single religion in a single epoch on a single planet in a single solar system in a single galaxy in a single cluster in a universe created by an omniscient intelligence.
I suspect that the God of our universe created our universe for the same reason that the God of THAT plane of existence created THAT universe --- all the way back to the origin of eternity. I could be wrong.
Scriptural Support

• ”For no one is cast off by the Lord forever.” - Lamentations 3:31
  
• “Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill shall be made low, and the crooked shall become straight, and the rough places shall become level ways, and all flesh shall see the salvation of God.” - Luke 3:5-6
  
• “And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” - John 12:32
  
• “Consequently, just as one trespass resulted in condemnation for all people, so also one righteous act resulted in justification and life for all people. For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.” - Romans 15:18-19
  
• “For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all.” - Romans 11:32
  
• "For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive." - 1 Corinthians 15:22
  
• "For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross." - Colossians 1:19-20
  
• “For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.” - 1 Timothy 4:10
  

All of these scriptures speak to the salvation of all, not the salvation for some and the damnation of others. That plausibly explains why I ended up where I did when I died.
If there are any scientists amongst you, you know what comes next! You've read my problem statement, my hypothesis, a limited set of data that I am willing to share on the internet, and my conclusion.
If you scroll through my posting history, you'll find that I originally shared this story quite some time ago; that the ensuing couple of years have been spent in historical research of scripture and cultural ramifications when those things were written, and that my field of expertise is in neurochemistry.

We have been together for a little over two years, living together for one full year. I recently moved home to get a little space and for college honestly. We have had absolutely zero intimate or physical connection/activities for 9 months. I have no emotional connection with him anymore and cannot see a future with him. I find myself annoyed at having to spend time with him and when he calls. Id rather hang out with my friends then sit in that house and watch tv while getting high. He’s not a bad guy he’s just not my kind of guy. Everytime ive tried to break up he breaks down and it becomes a therapy session for all of his problems. I inevitably give in and everything that happens is swept under the rug. And when I bring it to his attention he says it’s not on purpose. But I feel it’s manipulation. I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind sometimes because I feel right but he’s so confident in my wrongness. Hes my second boyfriend ever and I’m 20. I know I’m wasting my young years but I cannot find the capacity to break up with him. My cat and large fish tanks are over there and the house is decorated in all of my stuff. I’m not interested in taking anything other than what I need but I don’t want to endure the task of it all. I feel so lazy with my own well-being. I’m so unhappy and want to be single but cannot grow a pair to do it. I feel I have entangled my life so heavily but I remember people get divorced after having families and being married for 15 years. I’m just at a loss and feel like my last resort is writing a letter and blocking him on everything. But that feels so immature and undeserving.

My partner really wanted marriage and kids in the beginning and he even set a specific timeline he wanted for those things. Fast forward to almost that timeline, we had a serious discussion and he told me he’s not ready for both but definitely still open to those in the future(mainly financial reasons). I’m ok with this result because I also think we r not financially ready atm. I’m just worried how he can change his mind from very eagerly wanting marriage and kids to not ready yet. He says he was immature about how serious this type of commitment is and especially the financial part he didn’t think it through. He’s also witnessed a few divorces around him lately to make him want to take back the previous timeline and focus on finances first. He reassured me many times it has nothing to do with his feelings towards me he just wants to be more responsible with these big life decisions. His actions are also showing how he really loves me and is committed to me. I’m just feeling a bit upset about the change in mindset although his reasons makes a lot of sense. Anyone else experience this? From I’m very sure wanting marriage and kids within a timeline to need more time to prepare and decide?

My partner really wanted marriage and kids in the beginning and he even set a specific timeline he wanted for those things. Fast forward to almost that timeline, we had a serious discussion and he told me he’s not ready for both but definitely still open to those in the future(mainly financial reasons). I’m ok with this result because I also think we r not financially ready atm. I’m just worried how he can change his mind from very eagerly wanting marriage and kids to not ready yet. He says he was immature about how serious this type of commitment is and especially the financial part he didn’t think it through. He’s also witnessed a few divorces around him lately to make him want to take back the previous timeline and focus on finances first. He reassured me many times it has nothing to do with his feelings towards me he just wants to be more responsible with these big life decisions. His actions are also showing how he really loves me and is committed to me. I’m just feeling a bit upset about the change in mindset although his reasons makes a lot of sense. Anyone else experience this? From I’m very sure wanting marriage and kids within a timeline to need more time to prepare and decide?

So I basically did all the work in H&R block and filed an extension, which got rejected and somehow I missed it- it was in the middle of a heavy divorce. I have the H&R block app and I already did the taxes.
The letter I got from the IRS was fairly benign- it basically was like hey, we don't have your return, just send us the return and payment for tax. I have the return, is it as simple as just mailing the return with the payment? Or am I going to have to lawyer up and get an accountant?
Also, I didn't get the enclosed envelope- can I just mail it in a regular envelope?

As I see the last vestiges of my home burn behind me and the vessels of other escapees conflagrate all around me, only one thought permeates my mind: what a horrible species.
My people had lived for thousands of solar cycles by themselves, bound to the ground of our birth world. My people had then spent thousands of cycles soaring through the endless sky between stars. My people are now dying.
Our first contact with the species known as "humans" dates to a couple of hundred cycles after we had become spacefarers. They were mighty, their numbers were great, and their age was shocking, their words were thunder, and could be understood even without speaking their tongue. Their vessels were bigger than anything we had made. Shaped like the mighty pillars of our temples, they shone bright under the light. Their engines dwarfed fleets of our fledgling spacefaring vessels, they traced lines across the stars as a blade does through flesh, their swiftness unparalleled. They were fleeing in fear, dreading their own lands and their own creations, swearing they'd not fight us, and would even surrender their lives if it meant that they could be granted peace, even in the form of a temporary reprieve.
We were shocked, for we found that we weren't alone in this galaxy, but we also found that our "neighbours" weren't that close to us, were much more advanced, and were full of fear.
We welcomed them, promised them no violence nor hatred. They were as gods in power, but were as lost hatchlings in spirit. For thousands upon thousands of more cycles we had taken care of them, and they had taught us, their secrets, ours, their mighty, ours - when we finally reached them as equals, it was the beginning of a golden age for my people. All that had plagued us slowly disappeared: hunger, conflicts, all the massive struggles that had been our spark to act, smothered. It took time, but we learned to do what we did, to keep living as we had done, not out of cravings, but out of love for life. We gazed at the universe with golden eyes full of wonderment - the humans never truly did. The oldest of them all always looked at the sky with dread and fear, their shoulders slumped, their brows frowning, their eyes wide with alertness. As generations passed, and even the oldest of the humans faded into memory, something always remained off about them, like an existential fear, the weight of consequences yet to come, constantly casting a shadow over their joy.
My people claimed for themselves planet after planet, first all the celestial bodies orbiting our own beloved star, with droves and swarms of vessels gutting every asteroid we could. Then we learned from the humans' ancient ark how they had managed to travel the void between stars. It took many tries, failures, and sacrifices, but we learned to reproduce the arcane technology behind their ships. Eventually our vessels flew over worlds upon which the light of suns that weren't ours shone.
We seeded outposts, we tried colonies far away from our home, we learned on our skin how to adapt our society to the demands that the distance, both physical and cultural, imposed upon the colonists.
We endured these struggles we willingly faced, we overcame them, and we grew stronger from them. Challenge after challenge, we grew, we advanced, joyful in the freedom our advancements had brought us. Yet the humans kept wary, each generation keeping their forebears' wariness towards the stars, looking in the direction of their long abandoned birthplace. Mighty people they were, and mighty people they remained, yet we equaled them. As equals we could all feel that something was wrong, but not in what they did, but in what they knew, and didn't reveal. Nonetheless, our polity prospered, our struggles were being buried in the past, and a bright future shined upon us - and it kept shining for a long, long time.
We had thousands of years of peace and quiet. We explored, yes, but our explorations were deep, were complex, and were thought out. We first fully understood everything that our own world had to offer, then all those of our solar system, then of the various colonies we had created, our domain was small, yet solid. The humans we had welcomed so long ago always were beside us, warning us of things we were close to finding out. In hindsight, they acted very much like herders, and corralled us with their technological knowledge away from certain discoveries. I realise it only now because of how much of a difference there is between "our" humans, and the others that came. Because of course more humans came.
A day like any other, enjoying the beauty of an advanced society and its benefits, strange and massive vessels came. A massive fleet, counting hundreds upon hundreds of ships, most small, simple and angular in shape. A few vessels resemble in shape the creatures that populated one of our ocean colonies, long hulls, with many leg-like appendages. Their greatest one was more akin in shape to a sea faring vessel, with a massive ventral fin extending downward as long as the ship itself was. They eclipsed all our vessels, and even dwarfed the human ark, now a monument to times past.
I was among the ones that volunteered for a diplomatic mission. For the first time in dozens of cycles I was feeling actually tense, maybe a tinge of fear too. I had a few humans with me too. As our shuttle took off our homeworld and accelerated towards the fleet, some of ours were truly delighted, and some were filled with dread. Since our two species met, no other contact had been made with a sentient species. We communicated with the new arrivals using the language the humans used when they first arrived - "AllTongue" they call it, something that speaks in concepts and only in truths. We were given coordinates in return. Once we had arrived, we were met by a little station, pavilion-like, floating in place. Waiting for us beside it, was what the new arrivals used as their shuttle; the ship was linear too, bulky yet sleek.
Once near the pavilion, they entered one of the hangars that belted the station, and we did so too.
Inside there was artificial gravity, slightly lighter than the one of our home world. A cursory analysis revealed that the station not only had air, but also that it was perfectly breathable. Lights delineated a path for us to follow towards the centre of the station. We still remained with our suits on. Some writs appeared here and there, small signs in an alphabet none of us understood. "A new contact, so exciting" I thought to myself. Fool.
We reached a large circular room after just a few minutes of walking. Inside there were five massive figures, covered in great carapaces. They bore resplendent armaments, and their carapaces were built of bright plates that seemed made of light itself, dimmed and given form.
I took a risk and took off my helmet, as a gesture of good will. From one of the figures came a short sound, which was quieted as the central one raised their hand. Then the central carapace opened. Out walked a lithe, fleshy entity, much shorter without their suit - a human. All my companions, me included, gasped. It was a human male, indistinguishable from our own, bar for one thing: his eyes. The other figures took off what I understood now was their helmets. Men and women they were, humans all. And all their eyes had this specific glare, a kind of sight my species hasn't used outside of rituals for a long time - they were the eyes of a hunter and a killer, and they were eyeing us at that moment in an effort to understand how much of a threat we would be. Only the unsuited one was different. His eyes had the same pitiful look one has before doing something they hate, but have to do. My companions then took off their own helmets.
The result was not what we were anticipating. The centre figure, most likely their leader, let out a tired scoff at the sight of our humans. He even glanced at the guards he had brought with himself. "Do we really have to do this?" he clearly thought. One of my companions tried to begin conversing, but one of our humans overtook him and asked first: "How's our home (world)?". He referred to Earth, the world we had heard stories about, a world at the centre of a hegemony that spanned in every direction for tens of thousands of light years.They had left it when the hegemony was in its dying throes, from terrible calamities spawned from within. When a terran referred to it, the word always carried a heavy inflection of longing, regret, and love.
"Dead." answered the unsuited human using the AllTongue. The concepts that came from those words were not even of sorrow, but of a sort of faithful reverence, like one has towards ancient stories, legends, or foundation myths. This worried me, these humans weren't terrans like ours. The terrans were wracked by shock and sorrow, and the newcomers remained stone faced. The unsuited one extended his arm rightward, and one of his posse passed him a wide and long item. He showed it towards us: "This is not a weapon." he said in AllTongue. It was a scabbard, and slowly he pulled out a blade. It wasn't a weapon indeed, the edges were so dulled they couldn't have cut even our suits. Not dulled, chipped, etched - as if with tally marks - and bore the same strange letters we had seen on our way there. The suited newcomers closed their helmets. The unsuited took a deep breath, as one does before reading something, and instead loudly sighed, and sheathed the lettered blade.
"Half your planetary rotation. That's how long you have. Then the fleet will burn your worlds. Do not fight. Die or flee, nothing stops the eternal march of our people."
The newcomer stepped back into the suit.
"Go now. Or stay and join the many dead."
The five turned around, and made to get out of the room. "Why? For what reason?" asked a terran.
Four armoured ones kept walking, the leader stopped and turned to face us one last time. His helmet opened, and his eyes told me he had even more sorrow than before.
He opened his mouth, but no single coherent concept came out. Instead it was a tale of regret and sins of the past. A story of an unbreakable will to right them, and prevent them from ever happening again, at the cost of any and every cruelty against all variables that may interfere with this endless plan. We were a variable in their eyes, nothing more. His helm closed, and he disappeared behind closing bulkheads.
The shock quickly wore off, and we ran back to our shuttle.
Even as we started our flight, our sensors picked massive energy signatures from the fleet. More ships were materialising in, they were neither the small ones that swarmed around the main behemoths, nor more behemoths themselves. Still enormous in size, these new ships bore the shape of an elongated casket. Even with our weak sensors we could see all the weapon ports. The engines of the ships already there too had started to slowly crawl towards our homes. The trails they left behind eerily reminiscent of the terran ark's.
Our return trip was in silence, bar for the status reports about the ship, and for the initial warning message we had sent to our people.
We found the old terran ark brought back to life, and as we flew down to the planet's surface, it flew past us, aimed not for the space between stars, but towards the incoming fleet. Some terran had decided they'll run no longer.
Upon landing, I found that a massive electronic attack had been waged upon the colony during our return trip. Nothing had been managed, but every single piece of data our civilization had on ourselves had been plundered, mainly and firstly, the location of all our colonies and settlements, in this and every other system.
I scurried to gather my kith and kin, and packed them into one of the shuttles we used to visit relatives on in-system colonies. We took as many supplies as we could, and took flight for the jumpships parked at the edge of the system, further away from the newcomers. Just like that the hours had passed, and the fleet had reached all the settled planets and planetoids within our star's gravity well.
A long range observation system was transmitting a live feed of the ark's last stand. It wielded weapons we never knew it had, nor the humans had ever shared. Bright lances of pure energy, thrown into space, facing a direction and hitting in another. Massive gravitic bubbles spawned and collapsed unto themselves, small black holes instantly crushing everything cut within their event horizon.
Yet for all of the ark’s firepower, the fleet simply flew by it. Every weapon was caught up in an impossible duel against the greatest of the newcomer ships, whose barrages of attacks matched and countered every shot the ark could take. Every last particle crushed, even alteration in gravity abjured and overwhelmed. One near miss at a time, the ark found itself stripped of armour, sections completely cut away, covered in burning lines and gashes. Eventually its own shine faded, and started to drift silently.
Other hordes of shuttles were flying besides ours, all bound for the jumpships.
The panic and fear of extinction had already started to set in, to the point that the crew of a jumpship had to kill their own captain and officers because they wanted to jump without anyone and to run away.
We managed to reach one, and find an anchoring spot. Many others flocked to us, eventually space ran out, and I saw points one which had multiple shuttles mag-locked onto each other in a stacked tower, even hundreds of them. I refused to look at any data regarding the fate of our planets, we knew only from theory how many gruesome ways can a starship deliver death from above, and I was interested in bearing witness to none of them.
Hours passed, as more evacuation vessels arrived, a message in AllTongue overtook all networks.
“Proceed.”
This single word and concept was pure weaponised panic. It exuded the aura of finality, of an execution, of an order from which one cannot escape.
As this word was heard, beams of energy hugged one of the jumpships. With a flash of light, it was gone. Small pieces of debris are the only thing that tells there was ever a starship there.
The loud humming of the fold drive activating reverberates through the entire vessel. I finally cave in, and pull up a feed from one of the remaining satellites we have in-system. Massive columns of light and energy pierce my world. Beams rain endlessly from the casket-ships, burning one by one all the settled asteroids, and carving deep scars on planetary surfaces.
I can see the seas evaporate in front of my eyes, deserts turning to grass, and jungles turning to cinder.
Space begins to fold around the jumpship.
One other message arrives, I want to shut it off, but it can’t be cut out.
“We will find you.”This is a promise, this is a threat, this is our doom.
As I see the last vestiges of my home burn behind me and the vessels of other escapees conflagrate all around me, only one thought permeates my mind: what a horrible species.

I had a psychological CE from a psychologist today. I think it went ok. This was the last thing the DDS needed from me. My atty is telling me that we wont know anything for about 2-3 months in regard to a decision. I’m hoping everything works out. I have more medical documentation this time from neurology for migraines, ortho spine specialists, and psychiatry and witness letters. I am 100% P&T with the VA and I know that doesn’t hold any water with SSA but I’m hoping. My impairments are Combat related PTSD, General Anxiety Disorder, standard old garden variety anxiety, depression, agoraphobia with panic attacks, bi-lateral Spondylolisthesis in lower lumbar region that causes a lot of back pain. Chronic migraines, and Chronic IBS
So let’s hope with all the additional evidence this time it gets approved

Long story short, I’m a finance professional who did some whistleblowing against my former employer for tax evasion. The geniuses at my former employer didn’t register in any state they were doing business in, and avoided sales taxes and property taxes (willing to testify to this). Roughly 45+ states and territories, federal, and hundreds of counties.
Since reporting, I’ve received a cease and desist letter and demand letter with the threat of a lawsuit in what’s obviously an intimidation tactic. I’m not dumb enough to respond to demand letters myself, and have sought legal council.
My question: what should I be asking in consultations to qualify practices?
To clarify: I’m not really all that interested in the money aspect. I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do. I care about winning my case against terrible people who have both retaliated against me for my physical disability, race, and for not being okay with tax and bank fraud. This is a moral issue at this point and I’m reporting on principle.
I can personally testify against two persons of middle management, as well as against the owner and CFO in the C-suite level, so I plan to ask about witness intimidation as well.

I don't want any in-game items, TF2 keys or crypto. Only Steam keys or gifted games, please.
IGS Rep
Steam keys I have:
12 is Better Than 6
16bit Trader
3 Coins At School
Amanda the Adventurer
ANKI
Agent in Depth
Aggelos
Airport Madness: World Edition
Akka Arrh
Albert and Otto
Alex Hunter - Lord of the Mind Platinum Edition
Alien Attack in Space
Alien Rampage
Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Arcade Spirits
Asteroid Bounty Hunter
Back to Bed
BalanCity
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock
Beat Hazard Ultra
Beholder
Black Book
Blackhole
Blackwell Convergence
Blackwell Deception
Bloodbath Kavkaz (delisted)
Blue Fire
Bomb Defense
Bomb The Monsters!
Book of Demons
Breakout: Recharged
Breezeblox
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bubble Ghost
Car Mechanic Simulator 2014
Carcassonne - Tiles & Tactics
Cat on a Diet
Cataegis : The White Wind
Centipede: Recharged
Chamber of the Sci-Mutant Priestess
Chaos Control
Charlie's Adventure
Chime Sharp
Chronology
Cities in Motion 2
Cities: Skylines - Snowfall
Columns
Columns III
Comic Book Hero: The Greatest Cape
Construct: Escape the System
Coromon
Cook, Serve, Delicious!
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 2!!
Cosmic Express
Crashlands
Creepy Tale
Crying Suns
Cube Runner
Cubium Dreams
Cursed Sight
Darkest Hour: A Hearts of Iron Game
DISTRAINT
Daemonsgate
Deadlight
Defend Your Life
Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Devil Daggers
Double Dragon Trilogy
Drawful 2
DreadOut
DreadOut Soundtrack & Manga DLC
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Duke of Alpha Centauri
Dungeon Journey
Dungeon Rushers
Dungeon of Elements
Dungeons
Dungeons 2
Edge of Eternity
Embr
Endless Space - Collection
Energy Balance
Energy Cycle
Envoy
Eternam
Fall of the New Age Premium Edition
Fallout 1
Fast & Furious: Spy Racers Rise of SH1FT3R
Fault milestone one
Finding Paradise
Fly and Destroy
For the People
Forewarned
Frederic: Evil Strikes Back
Frederic: Resurrection of Music
Frick, Inc.
Funfair Ride Simulator 3
Galactic Civilizations II: Ultimate Edition
Galactic Civilizations Ultimate Edition
Galak-Z
Gauntlet
Ghost Pirates of Vooju Island
Gloria Victis
GoNNER
Gods will be watching
Goetia
Going Under
Golden Light
Good Robot
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Greyfox RPG
Gryphon Knight Epic
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Online
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hack 'n' Slash
Hacknet
HackyZack
Hector: Badge of Carnage
Hellpoint
HoPiKo
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?!
Homestead Arcana
Horizon Shift
Hostage: Rescue Mission
Hostile Waters: Antaeus Rising
Hotel Transylvania 3: Monsters Overboard
How to Survive
How to Survive 2
Hungry Flame
Hyperdrive Massacre
I am not a Monster: First Contact
I'm not a Monster
IL-2 Sturmovik: 1946
Iesabel
Invasion
Iron Impact (delisted)
It's Spring Again Collector's Edition
Killing Floor 2 Digital Deluxe Edition
King Of The Castle
King's Bounty: Platinum Edition
King's Table - The Legend of Ragnarok
Kingdom Two Crowns
Kingdom: New Lands
Knight Squad
LUXOR: Mah Jong
Lair of the Clockwork God
Layers of Fear
Lift It
Little Big Workshop
Love Letter
Lust for Darkness
Luxor Evolved
Maid of Sker
March of the Living
Marco Polo
Marooners
Marvel's Midnight Suns - Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
Mass Effect Legendary Edition (Origin Key)
Mechs and Mercs Black Talons
Mediterranea Inferno
Memoria
Meow Express
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
Millie
Monaco
Monster Slayers
Mr. Run and Jump
Mysterium: A Psychic Clue Game
Mystery Masters: Psycho Train Deluxe Edition (delisted)
Mystical
Mythic Ocean
Namariel Legends: Iron Lord Premium Edition
Neon Prism
Neon Space
Neon Space 2
Nihilumbra
Non-Stop Raiders
Normality
OZYMANDIAS: BRONZE AGE EMPIRE SIM
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee
Oddworld: New 'n' Tasty + DLC
Orbital Racer
Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You
POLYWAR
POSTAL 2
Pandemic: The Board Game (delisted)
Pang Adventures
Panzer Corps
Pester
Pinstripe
Pixel Puzzles 2: Anime
Pixel Puzzles 2: Birds
Pixel Puzzles 2: Space
Pixel Puzzles: UndeadZ
Plantera
Police Stories
Pony Island
Postal 2
Postal 2: Paradise Lost DLC
Postal Redux
Project Highrise
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Psychonauts
Quadrata
RPG Maker VX
Rampage Knights
Raptor: Call of The Shadows - 2015 Edition
Red Death
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Risk
Remnants of Isolation
Revhead
Rez Plz
Rise & Shine
Risky Rescue
Robot Squad Simulator 2017
Rollers of the Realm
Rym 9000
SPACECOM
STRIDER
SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
Sam & Max Hit the Road
Samudra
Satellite Reign
Savage Lands
Say No! More
Scanner Sombre
Secret Neighbour
Selfie : Sisters of the Amniotic Lens (delisted)
Serial Cleaner
Shadow Blade: Reload
Shark Attack Deathmatch 2
ShipLord
Shivah
Shoppe Keep
Silence of the Sleep
Silver Knight
SimplePlanes
Simulacra
Sins of a Solar Empire: Trinity
Slash It
Slash It 2
Slipstream 5000
Small Radios Big Televisions
Small World
Small World - Be not Afraid... DLC
Small World - Cursed!
Small World - Grand Dames DLC
Sniper Ghost Warrior 2
Solstice
Sonic Adventure 2
Soulblight
Space Legends: At the Edge of the Universe
Sparkle 2 Evo
Sparkle 3 Genesis
Sparkle ZERO
Spin Rush
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Splasher
Splendor
State of Anarchy: Master of Mayhem
Stick Fight: The Game
Stigmat
Stories Untold
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition
Super Buff HD
Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings
Super Panda Adventure
Super Toy Cars
Surfingers
Survivalist
Survive in Space
Surviving Mars
Sword of the Stars: The Pit - Juggernaut DLC / Healer DLC / Soundtrack
THE UNCERTAIN: LAST QUIET DAY
THOTH
TIMEframe
TREBUCHET
Tadpole Treble
Taimumari
Talisman - The City Expansion
Talisman - The Sacred Pool Expansion
Talisman: Digital Edition
Teddy Floppy Ear - Kayaking
Teddy Floppy Ear - Mountain Adventure
Teddy Floppy Ear - The Race
Telltale Texas Hold'em
Terraformers
Terra Lander
Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure
Teslagrad
The 39 Steps
The Amazing American Circus
The Beast Inside
The Divine Paradox (delisted)
The Dwarves
The Dwellers
The Emptiness Deluxe Edition
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Inner World
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
The Last Express Gold Edition
The Next Penelope
The Purring Quest
The Sexy Brutale
The Walking Dead: Season 1
The Wild Eight
The Witness
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Darkest of Times
Through the Woods
Timberman
Tooth and Tail
Toy Odyssey: The Lost and Found
Toybox Turbos
Train Simulator 2021
Trifox
True Bliss
Tumblestone
Twilight Struggle
Upside Down
Uriel's Chasm 2: את
WARSAW
Wandersong
Warfront Defenders: Westerplatte
Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
Warhammer 40K: Space Wolf (delisted)
Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin Ultimate Edition (Asia/Oceania region lock, excluding japan)
Wasteland
West of Dead
World of Mixed Martial Arts 3
Worms Rumble
Wuppo
X Rebirth
X Rebirth: The Teladi Outpost
X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
X2: The Threat
X: Beyond the Frontier
X: Tension
XCOM 2
XCOM 2 Resistance Warrior Pack
XCOM: Chimera Squad
Zero Reflex: Black Eye Edition
Zombie Bowl-o-Rama
Zombie Vikings
Zombillie
stikir
Examples of what I'd be interested in:
Cookie Cutter
Outcast - Second Contact
Above Snakes
Battle vs Chess
Book of Hours
Astrea
Gloomhaven
Trinity Fusion
Passpartout 2: The Lost Artist
Gord
Rise of the Third Power
Kardboard Kings
or Offers
Wishlist

Extra-Judicial Violence

Would it be unlawful for a man to touch you like that, otherwise, if yes, then, yes; and insofar as that is the case, and if we are mindful of the obvious, that, whether we are asleep in our own bed, in our mother's van at a school pick-up line, walking home from an animal shelter or anywhere else at any time at all this Violence,
Definitionally, Pre-Judicial, due to that simple first-order logic, always, outside of the supervision of whatsoever rules-governed system at all, remember:
The Police Say,

Suspect

After they've shot someone in their own home, which they've raided on purpose, to drag that man out in chains, and then killed them due to tactical conditions within that person's home, this is a supect, because,
Say it with me, "because," Suspect because,
There is a Death Warrant out for them?
A Death Warrant signed by a Judge and the result of some lawful, describeable, process of decision making; no. This person is, with rare exceptions, e.g. there has been a jailbreak,
No!
When Someone jumps Bail, this person has, actually, Fled from their constitutional right to a trial by a Jury of their Peers, actually,
In, the utter preponderance of societies, and from the dreamtime on up until ours became such an alienated, indivuated, Process of Calvinist atonement IMHO,
Exile, self-imposed or otherwise, was just about, "the Big one," more like a death penalty, than, "recoverable," and for a recent example how about, say,

The épuration légale, the 105,000 Death Sentences of what we would call, "Government Shareholders, Stakeholders, Employees, Volunteers and their coordinators," that the French Minister of the Interior claimed to have processed in order to put an end to the Lynching of Fascists and former police officers, "¯_(ツ)_/¯"

Guess what, you run from that shit, "same/same," you, as a person, are dead, you'll never purchase a house, be a claimant to healthcare, education, or other government services, services through governmental mandate or facilitation, you have no resume, you have no marriage, you have no childern you have no inheritance and No Past, No Future except for to wake up as one of Blake's born to an endless night, "original sin," I've never believed in it, I have been taught since childhood not to, explicitly, actually, but I can't think of a more, "real instance," than all of your pro-social and collaborative instincts deferred, for the good of others, that each kindess of your own returned, or, even, remembered by a person your heart and your body,
Neither of them burdened in the Linear memories of what had happened was, love, in all of the words that means, "let me give myself to you," no! had it not been a Sin for Ted Bundy to have washed the dishes at his girlfriend's house, to have given anyone else a reason to think of or remember him fondly, you're going to be the late blooming of the pain which burns her love from this world, like the angels of Eckhert von Hockheim of Gotha's Death Process, if you let that man mentor and be proud of you're going to leave the rest of him to stare at where that had been like an animal in shock to realize what it is to be alive without a Jawbone,
Is there a statistical process I could use to describe this ersatz of an institutional torture as, nevertheless, quite severe; one which does not need the paid labor of a professional to hurt and harm you, which, nevertheless effectuates, "The Great Fall," of the Longest Prison Sentences absent from the most Public and Permanent Dunciations, the Longest Times a coherent mind is able to survive absent from all of the most thorough and unrecoverable indictments of your character, at the point of pain, from that process, and here like an animal,
....or not even, anymore, just the soul and the parts enough to wonder,
"What is it, without a jaw?"
Twice I've been almost-certain I was going to drown, the first time I'd fallen off of a small sailboat and into the insigificant surf but quite-significant currents of the just-less-enough opaque to glow brown waters quite near galveston, in the gulf of mexico; I hadn't taken a breath, beforehand, it had all been, "surprise!" and then I swam up to find, horrifically, but, correctably, that I'd swum down, with a stars and daylights, "bang," head hit first, it wakes you up, "all of the sudden, here I am," how strange it is to, 'see stars,' and for real, in this moment, and then, what a terrible discovery, "impossible," and yet, "of course, too good to be true," mud, more than sand, thick and to the point of almost a sandstone compacted into, "that echo," from waves above, and, fuck all things, I can still feel it, I can still, "see," it even tjhough I have no idea if my eyes were open or closed, closed, I think, because I can, 'see,' light but feel horror at it's fantasy, and in contrast to reality, which, as implausible as it might be that I've just been dragged into an underwater cavern to die in the dark, I suppose it, "must be," so and Like a Mad animal I scratched at the Softest Stone There is, and Recieved, Infinitesimal, Not Good Enough Amounts of fine, fine powder like teaspoons of flour in fingertips underwater in strong currents, against which I'd clawed at the ground, "not go deeper," more than preserve the lack of progess and then I felt it, like, as in a dream where you're floating, not flying, Floating, Bad Float and It shant mean anything good to let go and I didn't, I think, not willfully, though I did brown the fuck out enough to go limp, though, not too much not to understand, immediately, what had happened, not long after I had done so:
That Second Fucking Ground, was the fucking ground, the first had been the bottom of the boat, and after I'd felt the soap of an embryionic sandstone in the opposite direction, 'yeah, that's definitely, what I've just run into," and Now, of course, alive, and the friends with that dope and doe eyed look of an, "what now," patience after an unresolved Panic,
Where have You Been,
I Cannot Die Do You Understand Me, no, Look Me:
I am not like you, I cannot die
Freude, I am saying; unashamed of it, "you need an apology, here it is,
I am Unkillable and that Makes Us Built Different
The second time I was pretty-certain that I would drown was terrible, terrible, that same week and because I have an exciting, fulfilling, dynamical life which I live with courage, and for which, in regards to this particular qualia, I have apologized already, 'see above," no,
Not the, "the same week," as the other time, years and years later that I'd been held hostage in an absolute-the-fuck out of control not my business drug deal, which I'd walked into in solidarity, with a Friend, who, literally, in literal life I was, literally, going to get a sandwich and ran into him, "I am so fucked," ed-ly, and I'd been like, well, I am not a coward; I guess I'll come too, at the end of it, it would have been implausible to suppose he was other than dead already, that this half-goth motherfucker from rural colarado come here with his buddy, acts like he's in, "The Wire," like, white man to wildebeast, that Most Hazardous Dagaboy, ugh, that frustration, and here, in the, "real," where the heart doesn't remind you the reason you've got to be good, got to be one older than everyone, also, little chickadee lost in one the least governed neighborhoods a Murder Capital of the Great Gamorrah Murder City, and insides of these stories he could not believe in, he'd mock if he heard Mansion from the 1880's in a neighborhood full of centenial bandos, and Right Near where the Excorcist Happened in Real Life, those who know, know where exactly; this friend of mine is a DJ with a Graduate Degree from NYU, this friend of his who had got us into this situation, the Jotunn Pokemon at the top of the DJ Tier List,
The, what had happened was, Tier List of Friend Pokemon, the Raichu, iirc, to that DJ's Pikachu, You know who I mean, the divorced 45 year old sole-investor in a bar and venue space, harmless as a larvae, almost never matures into it's final form,
When it does, when the bar and venu space is, "kind of successful," and he's cash rich, yeah, so, how that happened but me oh my, was I so high, off of the,
Striker fired gun held like a forensic liability, can't stop me with that, kill me, sure, but not stop me nor make a coward of me to drag you down to Helaheim, and I could feel how big and black my pupils were, like the more I fell in Love with Him the more that love, for him, had been Horror, full Horror, Holy Grin to Even Look at You and then, "surprise," friend walks in with several of the tallest, most perpetually armed and I cannot imagine what they've seen in this life, friends of ours,
The Divorced bar owner, a manic depressive flake whom you should know, did the right and mature thing, was like, "I am going into a rehab program I can't run the bar no more, sorry, boys," which had been good for the DJ, ultimately, had to have been, and the coward from Colorado?
The friend of his, who we'd both thought had killed my friend, had, instead, driven off with my friend, to ditch him in a park by my house, I live at my house and it's like, a mile, mile and a half from the South Jefferson Manse playing host to this whole adventure and, then, well, buddy, "run go catch up,"
Maybe, maybe, and through an unimaginable, to me, process of truth and reconciliation talked their ways through this, you know, enormous betrayal all the trails back from L'abbatoir des mes bien amis sous L'arc en ciel grand gris, or,
Maybe our friend had been full-ditched here as his pal fled back to places where fellas ditch pals, I was proud to be found to be found like a Jaguar with this child, and what is religion but the enthusiastic performance of Solemn Emotions,
Oh, how I love when you see what the most terrible things you can imagine are to me Liebe, tell me I was immortal, tell me that we are in a Grim Place that This is Not a Normal O.K. Day, that you think this place is grim and I know that it is a Haunting, that maybe the cops won't come, liebe, you,
Have no idea, it was life-affirming, and less than a week later I'd been in Tampa, Florida, I live in Saint Louis and I Love Tampa, Sorry, I am sorry, I've just been this one time but the girls my friends are friends with, are, so, Lovely, I love them so much they're such sweet people and the kitsch, "I'm with harmony korine on that one," it is intesting; cthonic in a semiotics which should make that impossible, whatever,
I got too close to a bouy, it booped me, which hurt me, "rather badly," not like go-to-the-hospital, like, feel over on the concrete as a kid, tune of: I'm almost certain that I will not be able to swim back to shore, oh, sucks,
I did, "I'm alive," Lamja said, "Jonathan why are you covererd in Ketchup," which was barnacles, is why, but like, that was fine, that I liked and I liked how she'd said it,
The part which had really, really, sucked was the, "o.k. realisitically, probably, it will be me and the sea, and no one else not ever again, and then you just like, touch, the place you think that hurts and it feels quite real, which is what it is,
Like She Touches, closer and closer to,
and time, goes by, and changes so much, and I want you to touch me and are are you.
.........still my,

My

-and there it is too sharp, there is the hurt, the rest is all real; so,
how come we talk like we do?
Is even what we mistake for our personal private opinion, more like marketing, the rhetoric saved up for the Forever-Parliament of Everyone and Always, rather than we feel, rather, know, know-know, from experience?
Here is the rhetoric on offer, it's an, "modest proposal," unfinished format, but, you get the idea, Don't You?
See how it targets the MLK's White Liberal With, an really, overt, "this isn't about me, this isn't about other people,' this is about you, how you, are like...
People who spank their kids, Domestic abusers and the difference is that you're worse, you've bought this for the rest of us, either, for, Richard von Krafft-Ebing, reasons, non-sexual sadism of yours I don't know, but,
How can you, "virtue signal," I don't hit my kids, when you hire these cops to terrorize them with corporal punishment from the moment a cop wants to, you know, "on forever," what got my thoughts on it had been how all those UCLA etc. kids must feel to know what cops are, and that their middle class white centrist parents had meant, that, the whole time, "he hit me, and he liked it, and he hit me until I apologized to him, begged for him to believe I was sorry,"
As a Service, nationwide and all the time might-happen and for your daughter, White Liberal, what an odd purchase and impossible to characterize as, "neutral, impartial," objective, like some pormanteau-as-product of, "diesel powered," and horse cock, such, just a normal objective anyone's got to see it's normal
"Defund the man who spanks my daughter in the Principle's office," I'm sorry, that's a little too far too fast and there has been so much insubordination at the highschool this semester, you're outta your mind, you think this is the right time for that kind of experiment, I agree that his tools are a little too expensive, elaborate, "overkill," and that we can talk about, maybe just talk about a more efficient use of his budget towards the greater implementation of more corporal punishment where it is needed to maintain better student discipline, where it's needed, In Honest Terms, if the girls are suffering from an epidemic of insubordination there are gonna be people who just, "say," what we all know, the reasons for it might be acculturated or due to bad influences in the media I dunno but, don't tell me,
"Stop hitting the girls," and how will you break them of their willfullness, "oh, I dunno, the media," when, six months, six years?
Spin around, around around there are a lot of useful ideas, here, and to half-turn once more, "Gaza is: the Disciplinarian Killed a Girl at the other highschool, so, let's not talk like it isn't what it isn't, and if it is what it is, how can you look at that, tell yourself, this is not a sin, a stupid one and too cruel to measure against other cruelty, too arbitrary, to talk, 'kinds of people,' too unpredictable, to talk, 'wieghts upon the scales,' and too distasteful, to pretend it has the least to do with The Respectable,
From the .txt entitled, "corporeal punishment," shared for the reason, that, I'm in the right mindset to feel a little further into the idea, than usual, but miles away, from, "can print and finish enough, right now," someone else can find it in public and build on the ideas, "shrug emoticon,"
Corporal Punishment dot text, comprised of the following, in the form of, "dialogical monologue meant for a meme image," or, other means to pantomime villainy, in that,
Just-the-puppet and the flame to see behind the screen, way, of, well; Walter Benjamin's first order artwork and it's cousin on the internet, "shrug shrug shrug,
HERE IS IS:

Hey White Liberals,
You Wouldn't Spank a Child,
You Wouldn't hit a Girlfriend,
Or train a Boy with a Belt,
You have,
"carceral Punishment Discourses,"
You talk at Dinner Parties, like,
"DomesticWhat that isn't a no, "oh!" Abusers should not have Firearmns,"
but you've Spared the Rod,
You've Spoiled Your Children,
Then Bought them the Most Comprehensive System of Corporal Punishment In World History,
-all of it extra-judicial,
none of it even requires a second witness to the willfulness, disrespect or backtalk,
The first time that your daughter is broken in with a fist will be to the the satisfaction of the enforcer,
The Same as Everyone else's but you've taught her to disrespect the Sole Credible Witness,
Instead of Apologize for what she's done,
She'll tell him he doesn't have the right to correct her,

 almost dare him to kill or cripple her, 

Is this a kink of Yours?
When your Woke Democrat Representatives Caterwaul about gun control,
-at your behest, demand that, 'domestic abusers,' be disarmed,
Not once have I heard them mention that 46% of Police Officers are Domestic Abusers,
Not once have I heard them claim that these are less effective Police,
Not once have I heard them even address the subject as if their constituents care
You, Your Tax Bracket, It is you and Your Neighbors who buy these Men a gun,
Then you tell them to, "Go Break my kids in," for the first time,
If the Discipline, "doesn't take," if your son or daughter won't break for him?
Here is a SIg ___ Keep it Cocked and Locked with 17 rounds of 9mm Parabellum,
All Workday, Each Workday,
Department Policy,
It's what the White Liberals Want,
They've spared the rod and Now this Is Your job,
While the Same White Liberals do all they can to make sure that these men,
Everyone Like them, everyone who raises a fist to their own wife or daughter,
When they're no longer useful, can't find a job raising a fist on yours,
That Man is no longer a full citizen, the constitution doesn't apply to his own life
They're paid to enforce civic discipline
You've paid them to correct your kids, your wife, your community,
With the fist the rod and the cattleprod, When Needed, Right then, Until Broken,
When needed and until Broken, each time, without a permissable exception,
If he chooses, he'll bring her to the courts, make his accusations against her,
List, in detail, the Discipline
All of which would be illegal for him to have done to a stranger woman,
if it were not
and if the, "white collar," White Liberal Officers courts didn't endorse it?
Wouldn't these same prosecutors and Judges
Wouldn't those same
even when the courts, weeks or months later, will endorse the discpline,
decline an interest to prosecute you daughter,
Even when
when needed, days before courts take a look at the incident
You don't train your child to cower when a Man Hits them,
You won't let the Schools do it For You,
Boebert Might Spank Her kids, might have let her husband train them with a belt,
She's Taught Her Hungry Young Killers that adults always have the right to kill and die on their on their own terms,
While you've paid for More and More Corporal Punishment in Your Communities,
If a
46% of Police Officers who admit

The thing, about being alive, is that you can't blow, "it," there is no, "it," while you're breathing, and insofar as there are Great, Great, Great Injustices too fragile to even address in plain language, in polite company, led from here planned from here built and payed and planned and raised from here?
Unless you think that the people who spank their kids are, right, actually, or smarter than us, better adjusted, capable of more dynamical more earnest inquiry, with a greater insight, "I mean," come on; we can kill it, Imagine:
The Great and the Good of Belgium say, "the men overseas, in Pith Helmets, are dogs, we can talk like they're dogs and treat them like dogs and I'm not going to cede what I love in the rest of you as chattel to their project in Bas Kongo," I wanna hear a defense of this corporal punishment made in earnest, it would bring me a lot of joy, you too, probably, let's make that happen, maybe.

I want to apologize. I don't want anything out of this. I just feel terrible about what I did. Is it a good idea? How would you feel about this?? He did nothing wrong. I was just young and selfish.